#if there are more flaws in the post tell me and ill update this.

[mrthoughtbubbles]

I don’t know if Yeet is referring to me or to her new guy… I’m doubting things again... I’ve been reflecting on it for some time now and I’m trying to be happy for her, since I feel that she’ll be happy with him, knowing that the other guy can be there for her any time and I can’t… I can only do so much with what I can do from here and I can’t be there when she wants/needs me… I also feel that writing messages to her is getting stale and I feel that she’s getting tired of it, so from the looks of things, so she looked and found herself a man to meet her needs… In the end, I’m the one lacking and I can’t be there for her…

Thinking about it some more, maybe another reason is that I told her that I follow other ladies’ posts… I follow people I deem cool and I want to be updated on the things they’re doing, like a new film, a new song, a new series, etc… I just want to know and be updated with the new things they’re doing… It’s not like I’m messaging them every day, like what I did for Yeet, and going out with them…  I have problems going out by myself, due to childhood trauma/the fear of getting lost somewhere…

Maybe there are more reasons why Yeet left, like when she said to not be arrogant… I wish she’d say the reason/s why she left so that I won’t jump to conclusions... Either way, I’ll try to be happy for her… I feel that she’s happy with her new boyfriend… I’ll try to be happy that I tried shower her with love almost every day when she was with me, even for just a little while… I just want her to have an eye for things to appreciate with everything that surrounds her, to love and care for everyone around her, to tell her that she’s beautiful despite having flaws/insecurities, to pray/talk to God about everything and to remember  that I love her… If she’ll remember those reminders I told her almost every night, I’ll be happy for her…

Just like what I said before, love hurts and I understand that this is one good example… It hurts to know that someone can just choose somebody else and throw you away like trash when you have no use anymore… maybe there's something wrong with me and my approach... i feel that this will just keep happening to me... I want to cry, but I mostly feel numb and I only shed a tear or two when I found out… It’s triggering my inferiority complex and I feel that no matter how much I try, I’ll never be good enough… I understand that I’m hard to be with, with my doubts, my inferiority complex, my constant need of reassurance, my mental illness, etc…, but finding out that the person you show love to chose another person over you again for the second time in a row, is just hard to swallow and I’m reliving the same situation again… something is wrong with me and I feel that I'm lacking something, that I'm not good enough, that other men have something that I don' t have, which is the root cause of other ladies choosing other men over me...

Someday, I hope that I’ll be able to recover again… I don't know when, but I hope that my nonexistebt confidence, at this point, will come back to me...

[bitternanami]

im really really excited by this idea, i think its brilliant. on reading this post it had me thinking, like. how much expertise would be necessary to produce something like that? what would it take to implement it?

if i may im gonna spitball a little on this. pls bear with me, bc im going into a fair bit of detail as to potential hurdles, but overall i dont think this is unachievable at all. it would help a lot of people enormously.

im also putting it under a cut bc it got Really Long. oops

(ill note im coming at this from a usamerican perspective, so im not sure how this would work globally, though that would obviously be the larger objective. more research needed.)

i think the main reason this might prove difficult is that a lot of the time, comorbidities with chronic illness can span across the fields of a variety of different specialists. specialists who absolutely Hate to talk to each other 🙄

depression borne of thyroid disease is a great example here. i would be surprised to run into a psychiatrist who even like.. knows that that is a thing that can happen, or at least has internalized it to the extent that its something they would honestly suggest. doing that would mean putting into focus the interconnectedness of human bodymind systems, which doesnt jive well with the way the health industry has compartmentalized our care into distinct little boxes at all.

and this obviously sucks. it leaves our hypothetical patient out in the rain, with no real recourse to learn what the actual problem is, short of doing all of these doctors' jobs for them, as is the case now. ideally it would not work like this at All, but if we assume that for our purposes here that we're maneuvering within the flawed framework as it exists, then it means giving practitioners across the board access to multidisciplinary information they otherwise wouldnt be bothered to look for themselves. in order to do that, one needs to compile it in the first place.

creating an accurate, referable directory of comorbidities with the according sets of diagnostic checklists would have to be a multi-pronged effort, because of how varied and multifaceted the area of study is. so itd likely require the formation of several specific focus groups consisting of ppl from a range of bgs, most critically those with lived experience, as well as good-faith medical scholars. each of these groups could maybe develop a list of common symptoms, comorbidities that currently exist in patients, risk factors.. answers to the question 'what does it look like when you have both [x] and [y]?'

like, the answers to those questions Exist already ! the raw quantitative data isnt necessarily there rn--we're not currently recording a lot of these statistics outside of like. medicaid/medicare, which means the sample set is inherently gonna have some degree of bias, but even still thats Something to work with. we can use what we have to back up any findings and like. Tell people about them.

when it comes to pitching this resource to the established systems.. training existing practitioners as well as appending this information to medical curricula…. who has the authority to do this? legislature? national health associations? those are made of people, and like…. in theory we can talk to people, right?

i mean, im definitely being reductive abt the amount of bullshit youd have to wade through to enact this on a large scale; i know doctors are a standoffish, stubborn bunch on the whole, and therefore no doubt highly resistant to change of any sort. but the healthcare system has been improved before, yknow? it sucked to do and it happened too slowly. many many many lives could have been improved, saved, if the those treating us considered it a priority to listen to sick people. but if they dont want to do that, then there must be ways to make them.

upon implementation, the database would also require updating as we collectively learn things about chronic illness, in order to make a questionnaire/test directory like that a functional tool even as research progresses. so you need the resources to do that, to be up on the current medical texts alongside regularly repeating the initial fact-finding process, to see what, if anything, has changed over time. maintenance would comparatively be a lot simpler than establishing it in the first place tho.

like, its a large large project. it might be out of an individual's means but it really feels doable when i look at it as a, a grant proposal to bring to a nonprofit or patient advocacy group or something. id need to look into whats out there for chronic illnesses broadly, bc i know a large number of those are focused on specific diagnoses, but. i dont know!! am i way off base here ?? are there people working on projects like this already? is it embarrassingly naive to think theres a chance of actually affecting how this all works???

when you get diagnosed with a chronic illness they should automatically offer you free tests for the ten most common comorbidities.

bc chronic illnesses DO often come in bundles like that and people experiencing them often struggle with recognizing symptoms in things we’ve lived with sometimes for our entire lives meaning we have to a) identify that something we experience is a symptom of something that hasn’t been diagnosed and b) believe it’s possible/important/realistic to address that symptom AND c) communicate this to our doctors often/clearly/emphatically enough that we eventually can get tested AND, usually, d) figure out what’s causing it ourselves because let’s be real doctors often don’t care enough to figure it out themselves and will often just shrug unless you mention a specific possible diagnosis for them to check

and all of this could be made one trillion times easier if after someone did that ONCE and got diagnosed, if it was standard practice for the doctor to then pull out their handy dandy reference app and put in the New Diagnosis and be given a list of the most common comorbidities that they must now check you for.

like they don’t even have to run the lab tests if that’s too expensive! Just go over the diagnostic criteria and proactively ask, “Do you experience these symptoms?” and suddenly people will have adequate diagnoses and possible treatment options SO much faster

[beepsrichie]

psa: false accusations.

last time i made a psa post that can be found under here. a bunch of bitter fack shippers just can’t handle the truth and are out for blood. and by that they are doing whatever they can do ruin my friends reputation for no fucking reason.

first off, imma jump right into it. don’t be a fucking sheep. if you see a post about eddiesghost going around- please report it and come back to us about it. theres something called proof. its easy for someone to just talk and make a post. but you gotta show the receipts. so next time if you see something about my friend on instagram or even twitter, please just report it, defend her or even just tell her about it! it’s some serious shit, its no longer a joke.

a post was recently posted by a gross blog. link is here. DON’T REPOST THEIR SHITTY POST PLEASE. ITS GROWING ENOUGH ALREADY.

warning, its pretty disturbing and i’m sorry you had to read it. just remember its not fucking true.

first off, i’m making this because it’s dangerous shit and it’s real. but most of all- my best friend is getting targeted from these people. also, this is case #1 according to that blog, meaning there are others that they want to expose. i just want you guys to know that they are already aware of this and contacted. i will not mention who the other blogs are though. if they want to come out about it, so be it. that isn’t my choice.

1. COMMON FUCKING SENSE.

first of all, you are fucking stupid if you believe their post. i get it, its scary and you dont wanna interact with people like that. but use your brain. and if any of you guys believe this shit- wake the fuck up!

IF YOU HAVE A FUCKING TUMBLR, YOU SHOULD KNOW HOW A FUCKING TUMBLR CHAT LOOKS LIKE. everything above is obviously edited. don’t believe this bullshit please.

this is what a chat fucking looks like:

take note of the background coloring please.

2. THE COLORING OF THE BACKGROUND.

their edited version:

the actual version from my tumblr chat with eddiesghost:

the chat boxes are edited and not the right color.

3. THE ICON.

lets fucking take a closer look at something. (LOOK AT THE RED)

huh, strange. why the fuck is her icon like that when its a circle.

oh wait- but theres fucking more. the icons arent even the same coloring.

HMM.

fucking idiots.

4. THE EDITING.

if you zoom in, you can see it was obviously edited.

5. WHERES THE OTHER PERSON?

if you read the post- which im so sorry you had to, you can see that apparently eddiesghost is talking to someone.

after the “you follow?” comment, there is no reply.

like, where the fuck is the other comment huh? if this was a real post, you would see another person reply back. its clearly, once again, fucking edited.

guys, the leader of the cult ashley who messaged me on wolfhardgrazerstruth is is twenty-four years old and she is a fucking fack shipper. she’s manipulating these children who love fack into thinking this is all true and how eddiesghost is secretly wanting jack for himself and many more gross accusations. this adult took her fucking time and day to photoshop those messages. WHO FUCKING GOT CREATIVE AND WROTE ALL OF THAT NASTY STUFF YOU SEE ABOVE. shes projecting her pedophilic feelings onto our friend and thats fucking disgusting. also, shes controlling these teens who ship fack to do her dirty work.

i understand you guys are scared and i get it, its a fucking terrifying situation. but think twice before you believe things. do some investigating, zoom in and point out their flaws instead of jumping into conclusions. also- i’m sorry but if any of you saw the gross post these sick people posted and sent my friend death threats, then thats messed up and i hope you apologize and realize your mistake. this is some serious fucking shit what these people are doing. eddiesghost could of gotten in a load of crap for false accusations and i hope these fuckers realizes that they can get into a lot of trouble for spreading terrible, nasty rumors around.

and thats the fucking tea. please spread this around and just go on over to my friends blog and send some fucking love. 

[ravencromwell]

How I discovered op's Elia fic is a mystery to me, so many years later. I know that even as my book-interest waned, I've always been _fascinated by the Martells, right up there with Mance Rayder and his wildlings. And one of the things drawing me most to the Martell family was Oberyn's descriptions of Elia or, more accurately, what was missing from those descriptions. Never in his fight with the mountain did he say something akin to: how dare you slay my sister in her fragile condition, even though we knew by then Elia Martell was certainly disabled. She was merely "my sister", which left room for the family to miss Elia, the fully complicated, nuanced woman rather than sanctifying her as merely an ill martyr and in a landscape so often barren of disability portrayals, that resonated deeply. But it was such a fleeting mention, with no follow-through and I craved more. I think I must've been willing to give op's Elia-centric Within The Hollow Crown series--which I would also ferociously recommend as a marvelously nuanced portrayal of a woman's wits pitted against her own body and the patronizing sexism and ableism of those around her, with the caveat it's very. very canon-compliant a try because I was so glad her Be All My Secrets Remembered lingered when I made my way into HP fandom a decade or more behind her. Through that fic's portrait of Dorcas Meadowes, I knew she could portray women in all their flawed, competent glory.

And then her Elia simultaneously occupied a wheelchair and seduced the Prince of Dragonstone and barely on the threshhold of adult me created a tumblr for the sole purpose of telling her how much it meant, feeling entirely convinced no one would ever see more than the chair--and how it meant even more that Elia's self-confidence also wobbled throughout her time in King's Landing. I know I was fully committed to following her ASOIAF fic to hell and back when she posted False Sorrow's Eye, the prequel to this fic.

And then she posted Brittle Glory, in which Elia Martell gets to grow so much older and wiser in all her disabled glory. I love Lyanna, of course, and the Elia/Lyanna relationship, because it's integral to how! Elia grows. But it is the centering of Elia and all her frought disability struggles that made this fic transcend fandom for me. There are no words for what this story has meant, save to say I have stayed simultaneously subscribed to it, its series, and the author in desperate desire to never miss a notification.

To see the author return, after so long, brings such an upswell of joy, particularly here at the beginning of Pride. It's not a fic I reread often--because it held such a reverent place in my trajectory of finding pride in my limitations, I wanted to go long stretches between binges in a doomed attempt to let its plot intricacies fade and preserve as much of the astonished joy of first reading as possible.

So I now intend to start with False Sorrows and leave the lavish, verbose comments prior decade Nick wasn't brave enough for. But first, I had to fulfill the vague promise I'd made myself that should this ever update, I would shout its praises to the rooftops: I don't care if you're in ASOIAF. I don't care if it's been years since you've cracked the books or you finished a reread last week. This portrayal of disability is one of the best I've seen, in fic or professional work. Go read it. If you don't know the source, I'll make you fucking character sheets and link you to all the relevant wikis. When something this thoughtful and compassionate comes along for disability representation, it should never be missed.

Chapters: 6/? Fandom: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms Rating: Mature Warnings: Major Character Death Relationships: Elia Martell/Lyanna Stark, Cersei Lannister/Jaime Lannister, Daenerys Targaryen/Margaery Tyrell, Renly Baratheon/Loras Tyrell, Rhaenys Targaryen/Willas Tyrell Characters: Elia Martell, Lyanna Stark, Daenerys Targaryen, Rhaenys Targaryen, Aegon VI Targaryen, Cersei Lannister, Margaery Tyrell, Olenna Tyrell, Willas Tyrell, Renly Baratheon, Jon Snow, Eddard Stark, Catelyn Stark, Arya Stark, Sansa Stark, Benjen Stark, Robert Baratheon, Jaime Lannister, Oberyn Martell, Ashara Dayne, Arthur Dayne Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It Fic That Isn’t, Baratheons behaving badly, Lady Knights, Royalty in Compromising Positions, Uncivil War, POV Character of Color, POV Multiple, Canonical Disabled Character, Racism, Microaggressions, Bechdel Test Pass, Women Being Awesome, lady friendships, The (Not So) Dead Ladies Club Series: Part 2 of The Not So Dead Ladies Club Summary:

Canon Divergence AU. Elia Martell and Lyanna Stark survive Robert’s Rebellion, but there are greater wars to come.

***

I’m not going to talk about the delay between chapters; suffice it to say there was life and quite a bit of it. But this fic still exists, and I found whatever mixture of spoons and inspiration I needed to get two chapters written. Will there be more after that? I hope so.