#I had to check three times to make sure it was legit

[lolkitkatbar]

Okay funny story. i was on youtube and one of the first things recommended to me was this video.

At first, I was like "Don't fall for it. It's clickbait. There's no way it's streaming on Netflix in the middle of it's life time. That's dumb. It's a web series on glitch's channel" So I rolled my eyes and kept on scrolling.

A few seconds later, Imagine my dumbass face-

[kithtaehyung]

would u? (3tan717) | myg

3tan717 drabble #1: would u? pairing: 3tan!yoongi x reader(f) series: masterlist | three tangerines | 3tan717 rating/genre: pg (18+) ; fluff ; brother’s best friend au, implied age gap au summary: you see a certain fruit-centered trend online.. and decide to test it on yoongi note: i am so so so sorry this is out on the very last day of feb but things have been absolute bananas lately! tbh i’m surprised this is even getting posted on time and i have even more to do after this is shared but eff it shibal!!! note 2: as promised, this is dedicated to the people that submitted the answers i’m using for this drabble: anon, grapes / @yoongrace, and apryl @aprylynn for this idea hehehe! also i literally just finished this so it's legit unedited so i'm sry for any mistakes! off to go prep for events now! warnings: 3tan yoongi as always, working yoongi??, kitchen, period cramps suck but yoongi to the mf rescue drop date: feb 29th, 2024, 10:03pm est word count: 2.3k

-

-

Ugh. 

Why does this have to happen every fucking month. Why can’t it happen every three? Or six? Or never ever ever? 

Groaning, you roll over, burying your face into the pillow on Yoongi’s side. 

To some degree, you feel placated, probably due to his scent still lingering next to your dismay. He had to get up early to finish a track, but he assured you can be in the room. 

You can hear a little bit of what he’s working on as it bleeds through his headphones, and even just this sliver of sound gives you chills. Not just because of what it sounds like, but the sole fact that Yoongi’s letting you even listen in the first place. 

Huffing out a bit of amusement, you remember the last time Yoongi let you stay while he worked—albeit at his place while he went to the studio. 

Damn, how much you’ve grown since then. All those memories, those quiet times and tumultuous times, everything leading up to now. How time has molded you with knowing hands. 

However, no matter how much has changed all these months, some things have not wavered, like the fact that you needed to be sure he was okay with it—and his answer making you absurdly shy. 

Did he really have to say that you’re either staying or he’s gonna leave? That scheming motherfucker! 

Some drum beats hit your cheek before you realize the menace himself is playing multiple different ones. It’s only a couple hits before he moves onto the next, and you’re about to lift your hea—

“Fuck, where the hell is that kick?” 

Your laugh is stifled by cotton. As tickled as you are to hear Yoongi like this, you don’t wanna do anything to distract him. 

But by doing so, that causes your body to tighten and fuck, it hurts. It hurts to move, it hurts to laugh, it hurts to just exist. God, you want him to come back and join you so bad, but you don’t wanna be that person. 

…Yet. Maybe if it gets so bad you can’t even sleep? 

“Found you! Fucking finally. Thought you could hide from me, huh?” 

Oh, fucking hell, he’s adorable. 

Yeah, there’s no way you’re making him drop everything right now. This is too precious of an afternoon to stop. 

Exhaling a mile long breath, you fight through your pain and feel for your phone, groaning as you shift yourself. When in position under sheets and warm sunlight, you cycle through apps as a distraction. 

Scrolling. Scrolling. Smiling at some animal videos a bit before scrolling again. 

After all of five minutes, you start to see a trend on your feed, and suddenly get the idea to try it on Yoongi. It’s simple and harmless, right? 

You [3:30pm]: would u peel an orange for me 

Yoongi doesn’t say anything, and you lift your head slightly to see if he looks at his phone. 

When he does, he checks it really quick before setting it back down on his desk, back to clicking on his screen. 

Ah. Damn. He must really be in the zone because… 

Uhh. 

Blinking, you watch as Yoongi rolls his chair out to get up, setting his glasses down and heading out of the room with a light swing of his chains. 

Uh. What just happened? Did you upset him? You’re so stunned that his swift exit has you wanting to get up and follow him.  

But ow. Ouch. It’s maddening how much your cramps are getting to you. 

Bearing the punches to your gut, you start sliding out of the bed, straining and sucking in sharp breaths just to stand and pull Yoongi’s comforter over your tension. 

Padding out the bedroom, your worries make your steps tiny and heavy, and you regret sending that text because you literally just said you weren’t… gonna…

On the dining table—quiet—lie three tangerines, peeled and placed next to vibrant scraps while your lover peels a fourth with diligent, devoted hands. 

And you can’t even form words that match how you feel. 

Your vision swims right as Yoongi looks your way, his body stilling before he puts the fruit down. 

When he approaches with concern, you answer his silent questions through hiccups, “I—I thought you left cus—you were mad.” 

“Huh?” 

“I don’t even know,” you swallow, gesturing to all of your lower half and feeling him hold the slipping blanket. “It’s just… this, I guess.”

“Does it hurt?” 

“Like a motherfucker.” 

“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, doll. Hold up.” Handing you the comforter, Yoongi goes to his cabinets in the kitchen, grabbing a bottle of medicine before walking it over. “You gotta take something as soon as you feel it. Don’t let it get this bad.”

“I know,” you groan, resting your head on his shirt and inhaling his healing presence. “I didn’t wanna bother you.” 

Your forehead is kissed. “You’re not bothering me. Especially with something like this.” 

“Okay.” 

He walks away again to grab some water, and you watch as he pours some into an electric kettle before starting it up. 

Glancing back at the fruit, you sigh, clutching the bottle of pills while feeling the weight of his comforter. He’s probably not pleased with the way it might drag on the ground, so you gather it and pick the end chair to sit on. 

And then you sigh, “Sorry for making you peel those. I didn’t even plan on eating anything.”  

“Too bad. You’re gonna eat what I make you anyway.” 

Wait, he’s cooking? He has work to do! “You’re working, though. Don’t worry about me right now.” 

“It’ll be quick.” 

“What are you making?” 

A glass bowl and pan are procured from random places before Yoongi blinks in place. “Uhh.. You’ll see.” 

As he clunks them onto his counter and stove, you watch with hearts for eyes as he bustles around the kitchen space. Even doing things as simple as washing his hands, opening his fridge, and simply grabbing a knife gives you pause. 

And this is when you realize that you can watch Yoongi do absolutely anything and be amazed. 

Even when he stands, watching you with a look that’s wait why doesn’t he look—

“Take the medicine, baby girl.” 

Oh. 

Snapping out of your trance, you nod. “Sorry.” 

Yoongi continues to give you glances until you swallow down the painkillers, satisfied enough to continue his cooking venture when you take the second one. 

As the sun paints the apartment in marigold and light, you keep watching with a smile as he brings the kitchen to life. Butter sizzles in a pan, tangerines are getting halved on a board, and something is getting mixed with a whisk. 

Who knew that the neighborhood fuckboy would have a whisk on hand? Not the younger you, that’s for damn sure. 

But here Yoongi is, in the flesh, whisking away with veiny forearms that have you thinking the most absurd thoughts during this time of the month. The only thing that would cut through the raging horniness would be getting up to see what the hell he’s making. 

It’s starting to smell familiar though. But he put the tangerines in the pan so you don’t even know what to expect right now. 

Walking up—blanket left behind—you observe the kitchen before peering over his broad shoulder. “Mm.. Smells like pancakes.” 

Yoongi doesn’t answer, but when you see the consistency of the batter, you realize you’re correct. “Oh, it is! I’m smart.” 

“You are,” he laughs. “But you didn’t get it all the way right.” 

“No?” 

“Nope.” Yoongi then gently gets you to move before he pours the batter over the slices, and you crane your neck to watch as he evens it all out. “Just one tangerine pancake.”

“Oh, okay,” you scoff, earning a laugh at your side. “Whatever, chef.” 

“We’ll see what you say in a bit.” 

Is he gonna leave it or flip it? Probably the latter. 

“K. Gonna flip that once it’s done.” 

Nice. You smile to yourself, loving how you’re starting to really be on the same page. Nudging him, you keep watching as he lowers the heat and sets the lid on the pan. “What now?” 

“We wait,” he responds, dusting his hands together before cleaning up his mixing bowl. “And I’m gonna see if we have any sugar.”

Damn it, Yoongi cannot keep saying that two-letter word. It’s starting to be detrimental to your health. “I can help.” 

“S’ok,” he assures, nose upturned. “Just watch me work.” 

“Oh, I’m very good at doing that.” 

At this, Yoongi turns and gives you a smile that immediately reminds you of summer, and you almost feel like crying again. 

“I’ve actually never tried this, but. We’ll see if this works.” 

With nothing snarky, or teasing, or fake to say, you reply with a smile and a genuine, “I’m sure it will.” 

When he keeps staring, his eyes lower to your lips, and you don’t care that you probably look like a wreck, or feel like one. Because the way he’s looking at you now makes you glow. 

If only the kettle didn’t decide this was the moment to stop boiling. 

You were probably about to get the kiss of your life. 

But Yoongi halts in his tracks before shifting to get a mug, setting it down with a thud before checking on the pancakes. Pancake. Whatever that delicious-smelling thing is gonna be. 

“There’s some tea packets in that right drawer. Help yourself cus I’d rather you pick.” 

Chuckling, you oblige before scooting over. After seeing a small jar of granules on the counter, you start rummaging through the drawer, exploring the various options while hearing the sound of a plate behind you. 

Ah, Yoongi’s flipping it. 

As you turn, you’re just in time to watch the muscles in his back protrude through his shirt as he flips the pan, impressed as he sets the plate down because holy hell that looks great. 

“Sugar, sugar, sugar… Suga, suga, suga.” 

Laughing, you interrupt his silly search as you grab the jar you just saw. “Suga suga, how you get so fly?”

Yoongi stops to see what’s in your hand, and he huffs through a grin before grabbing it. “Thanks, doll.” 

You keep humming the song that’s now wedged into your head as you watch him sprinkle bits on the pancake. 

“I don’t have a blowtorch,” he admits, “But I do have this.” 

Rolling out a drawer, Yoongi takes out a long lighter before holding it to the sugary top, humming the same song you were just singing without even knowing it. As the sugar slowly but surely heats, you both keep humming and basking in a calm afternoon. 

And you don’t even feel the pain anymore. 

“Go ahead and sit, babe.” 

“You sure?” 

“Uh huh.” 

Following instructions, you make your way to the table, cocooning yourself in his comforter again as you await the cutest meal you’ve had in weeks. Months. Lifetimes. 

Speaking of lifetimes… You hope every version of you meets every version of him. No matter when. No matter where. Because you want every version of yourself to find happiness, and Yoongi has been the one to help you finally find it. 

And he certainly passed whatever the hell this orange theory thing was supposed to be. 

Plates are set down to break you out of introspection, and you glance up with eyes sparkling. 

When Yoongi raises a brow, you just smile. When he asks what’s gotten into you, a chuckle escapes before you shake your head, 

“Nothing, baby. Just didn’t expect all this from that text.” 

As he plops into the next chair, you love the way the sun settles on his skin. Highlights his hair. Shimmers in his eyes. 

“Don’t even need to ask, babe.” He captures your attention with a calm look. “I was waiting for any distractions anyways.” 

So this was for him, too? Good. 

Grabbing your fork, you giggle. “Sounded like you were having a little trouble over there.” 

“I was! This is what I get for not saving my shit.” 

Both of you sit back in laugher as you throw your hands out. “Do that!” 

“I’m lazy!” 

“Tough shit!” 

“I know!” 

Grinning, you loll your head before waving your fork out. “You’re gonna save those sounds, and you’re gonna remember this day and thank me.” 

Yoongi just tightens his lips in a smile, eyes creased and glimmering. “Maybe.” 

“Yes. I’ll stand there and watch you until you do it.” 

"Really.."

For the rest of the afternoon—with full bellies and clear minds—you rest on the edge of Yoongi’s bed, forcing him to find the files he needs and watching him groan his way through saving everything. 

Constantly laughing at the ridiculously random names he’s assigning them.

When he’s done, you watch as he spins around in his chair, heart thumping with anticipation as you’re met with a waiting pair of eyes.

Breathtaking. 

When he leans in, you feel incredibly shy. Always, always, always. This will forever remain the same.

And—just as well—Yoongi's kisses will forever taste like tangerines. 

Three of them, to be exact. 

-

-

fin. :)

-

how did the first 717 drabble go! | join the discord hehe

a/n: nothing much to say other than i love y'all so much! i will try responding to anything when i can (there's literally still all the 3tan12 feedback to get to) but i do read all the commentary sent in and it keeps me going strong :'))) so thank you again for being here and being amazingly patient with me. off to work on more things but i shall be back once the wild weeks are over!

a/n 2: suga suga how you get so flyyyy hahaha

[seat-safety-switch]

There’s something that we all can learn from stage magicians, and that is the value of having a friend in the crowd. If you’re picking a card out of a deck of cards, that’s hard. If you’re picking a card out of a deck of cards where your drinking buddy has agreed with you ahead of time that it will be the ace of diamonds, that’s substantially easier. You might think that this scam, such as it is, is only limited to the performance of magic tricks. And you’d be wrong.

There is another place in modern society in which ridiculous performances, shocking coincidences and underhanded collusion work together to enrich tricksters. It’s called politics. You can bring your drinking buddy with you to a city council meeting, make him sit far away from you, and suddenly he’s a “concerned citizen” who agrees that it’s “just common sense” what you are proposing. From there, herd mentality takes over, and suddenly a room full of real-estate obsessed seniors are screaming at The Mayor, wondering why in the fuck you won’t let them leave a broken car in the middle of the road for a month or two I thought this was a free country.

Once you’ve learned this trick, you can see it all over the place. Unpopular policy gets washed through a series of studies, think-tanks, and media surrogates into being the product of consensus. The guy playing three-card Monte on the street has already been beaten by a couple folks, surely it’s your turn to win next. And that guy at the bar surely can’t be an undercover federal agent, because he just told us all how much he hates cops and loves Plymouth Darts. Sure, he had to check his phone a few times while he was trying to tell us all this, but he seems legit.

Now that you know how to deceive others in a crowd, it’s up to you on how to use it for evil. Just don’t become a stage magician. I guarantee you that I’ve poisoned that well already, because I waited until Mister Magic here started a show at the community centre and then stole a bunch of the audience’s batteries out in the parking lot.

[sunrise-imagines]

Can we pretty please get something for taking care of fw Finn after the scarab fight?

I almost made myself cry with this one, hit me right in the feels. Hope you enjoy!

TW: Angst, mentions of violence, mentions of blood, eventual fluff, hurt/comfort

Farmworld Finn x Reader The Aftermath Of The Scarab Fight

•Now I know we’re all worried about him considering Scarab legit stabbed him in the head, but considering that we saw no visible blood, my opinion is that his hat protected him from taking as much damage as he could have.

•Keeping that in mind, he still probably has some internal bleeding and a concussion from being slammed into the ground.

•After Finn found out that Jay and the others had gone to the crater, you were instructed to stay with the rest of the kids and barricade yourselves inside the house.

•You rounded up all of them and waited for his return, but after a while of no one coming back, you sensed that something was wrong and told Bonnie to watch her younger siblings while you went to the crater to check.

•By the time you arrived there, Scarab had already found them, and you were forced to watch horrified as his sharp limbs dug into your lover’s head, gasping as he was slammed into the ground and lay not moving.

• Scarab then lunged towards the group of travelers, and with a flash of colorful light, they were all gone.

• You almost tripped over your feet as you slid down the side of the crater, running over to Finn and kneeling down to check his pulse. You take his wrist in your hands, praying to whatever gods were out there that he was still alive.

• You let out a sigh of relief as you feel a shallow but strong pulse through his skin.

• With the Destiny gang having run away, the ones left were Jay and Little Destiny, the former of which ran up next to you, eyes wide with fear and worry.

• “Is…is dad…?” He stutters, tears pricking at the corners of his eyes. You reassure him that he’s still alive, but he’s going to need help.

• The three of you work to carry Finn back to the house, where Bonnie and the others wait with bated breath.

•When they all see Finn unconscious in your arms, they break out in a chorus of tears and frantic questions, and you tell Jay to keep his siblings downstairs while you take him up to the bedroom.

• You and Little Destiny drag him up the stairs, and she helps you lay him down on the bed.

• You thank her for her help, and she scoffs, “I-I’m just repaying him for saving me, it’s not like it’s a big deal…”

•You smile at her, putting a hand on her shoulder and telling her to go back downstairs and check on everyone, to which she sheepishly nods and leaves.

• You take off Finn’s hat to asses the damage, revealing his shock of white hair, the only physical semblance left over from his days as The Snowman.

•To your surprise you don’t see any blood on the side that was stabbed, and you figure that his hat must have taken the brunt of the impact for him. There is, however, a large patch of purple bruising on the side of his head, along with some small nicks and cuts from where the rock dug into his skin.

• You do your best to carefully clean each wound, applying antiseptic and bandaging the right side of his head.

• For the next three days you sit by his bedside, making sure to feed him and replace any bandages that had gotten dirty. You sent a letter to Doctor Princess (her farmworld self) explaining what had happened, and she replied that she would be coming as soon as possible, but the trip would take a few days. Occasionally the kids would come in and tell him about their day, or just lay with him for a while.

• Jay and Little Destiny, who had started living with you all since her father pretty much disowned her, were big helps with helping take care of the other kids. You were especially proud of Jay, knowing how hard he was working to stay strong for his little siblings despite being scared himself.

• Then suddenly, as you were preparing to change the bandages on his head, you heard a soft groan coming from behind you.

• You whipped around at the noise to discover that Finn had finally opened his eyes, and was currently trying weakly to sit up.

• You rushed over and threw your arms around, saying how much you love him and how glad you are that he’s awake over and over. He’s still a bit dazed, but he’s lucid enough to hug you back.

• Suddenly the events of that night come rushing back, and he pulls away from you, eyes wide as he frantically asks where Jay and the kids are.

• You reassure him that everyone’s fine, and no one was hurt. He sighs in relief, letting himself relax before wincing at the throbbing pain in his head.

• You gently coax him to lay back down, telling him that he still needs to rest and that the doctor will be coming soon to check on him. He admits that, before he blacked out, he was sure he was going to die, wondering to himself how he was still alive after such a savage attack.

• Leaning down and kissing him softly, you say that the how or why doesn’t matter, all that matters is he’s alive and he’s going to be okay. He smiles up at you, the biggest you’ve seen in months, and tells you that he’s glad that he has someone like you to look after him.

• You chuckle and agree, before leaving him to tell the kids the good news. He silently watches you go, thinking about just how lucky he is to have found someone as kind as you to love him.

[sirfrogsworth]

Froglock Holmes, Internet Sleuth

I don't remember dates very well, but I believe sometime in the mid 2000s I had a friend drive me from St. Louis to Detroit. It was a very difficult journey. I have never done well as a car passenger and driving for an entire day was one of the more miserable experiences in my life.

But I got through it because I was *convinced* I was about to be cured. Back then it was the only thing I wished for and I was willing to try absolutely anything.

So we were off to see the Wizard about my wish.

During that time there were no doctors in St. Louis who knew anything about Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. But I found a website for a medical company that claimed if I saw one of their approved doctors, they could guarantee a 50% improvement. And when I did my pre-interview on the phone, that lady said some patients experienced a full recovery. To which I replied, "Yes, I will take one full recovery please."

But the closest approved specialist I could find was in Detroit and she would only treat me if I did my first consultation in person. She would then continue treating me over the phone.

My friend took three days off and she borrowed her parent's SUV so I would have leg room during the 8 hour trip. We loaded up on snacks and compact discs and began our road trip to wellness. We merged onto the Yellow Brick Road (a.k.a. I-70 East) and headed toward the land of Marshall Mathers.

The more I got car sick, the more I focused on asking the Wizard to grant my wish.

A new... mitochondria?

Plus several trillion.

A new several trillion little powerhouses.

This doctor was part of a national network of facilities that claimed they could effectively treat Fibromyalgia and CFS with a groundbreaking 6 step "holistic" approach. It was super holistic. Extra super duper holistic. The website made sure you knew it was holistic.

And those 6 steps sounded very fancy.

I mean, that all seems pretty legit. They were going to enhance my cells and address coagulation deficits. That's a thing, right?

Now I know that "holistic" is a buzzword that should be met with skepticism, but back then I was really hopeful they could help me. They enthusiastically made bold promises and filled me with such assured hope that I sold my car to help pay for everything.

We arrived in Detroit the evening before the appointment. I slept maybe an hour. Morning eventually arrived and we headed to the office. They gave me a clipboard full of paperwork that took forever to fill out.

"Can I please just see the Wizard and get my wish?"

I got to the exam room and they put me in a gown with the butt showing—which I don't think my friend was prepared for. I have a condition known as Hank Hill Butt and it can take a bit of getting used to upon first glance.

My poor friend refused to make eye contact while I was wearing it.

The doctor finally arrived and this supernatural healing wizard turned out to be a very short Greek lady. She asked dozens of questions—most of which I answered on the forms already. She poked my belly, checked my reflexes, and at no point did her examination require a gown with the butt showing.

She officially diagnosed me with severe Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and told me she was going to type up a custom treatment regimen and while she was doing that, I was going to get a special IV they designed to specifically combat CFS.

They took me to a room full of comfy reclining chairs and hooked me to an IV full of orange nonsense. Once that was done I met back up with the Wizard and she had created the afore-mentioned "customized" treatment regimen full of expensive supplements and vitamins that were not covered by insurance. Many of which I had to buy directly from the facility. As I looked over the treatment worksheet, I realized they gave the same document to all of the patients.

It was at this point, 560 miles away from my home, stuck in some office in the suburbs of Detroit (which will eventually be taken over by a tooth pulp dentist), with my Hank Hill butt hanging out...

I realized this could have been an email.

I decided to put everything on three different credit cards. Combined with the money from my car, I had about $20,000 to invest in fixing my broken body. My plan was to get all better so I could get a job and pay everything back. I even told the doctor this brilliant financial stratagem and she agreed it was a good plan. No notes.

Young Froggie was being hit in the face with red flag after red flag and Old Froggie is a little embarrassed about that.

I don't remember any of the supplements, but they had names like "EnergyMax Plus" and "Ultra MitoBooster 3000." They definitely sounded like legitimate, evidenced-backed medical supplements and not knockoff energy drinks endorsed by D-list Instagram influencers.

It wasn't all overpriced vitamins though. The doctor had some silly ideas that were actually covered by insurance. She said I should thin my blood so it took less energy to circulate. And I should boost my testosterone levels above the typical range to improve energy. So I had to inject myself with blood thinners and rub testosterone cream on my legs every day for months.

The blood thinners gave me tons of painful bruises at the injection sites and made me dizzy from time to time. The shots became so painful I would have to close my eyes and have my dad inject me. Otherwise I would chicken out. We kept running out of places that didn't have bruises so he would just pick the smallest bruise and stick the needle there.

And the testosterone cream had an interesting side effect that I am debating whether to talk about as I write this sentence.

Okay, I'm just going to tell you.

We are all adults here and we can handle adult conversations while remaining dignified and mature.

The testosterone cream gave me constant, spontaneous, hours-long boners.

I hadn't experienced anything like it since I was a teenager. No erotic inspiration required other than a gentle breeze. Only this time I didn't have a math book to hide behind.

None of it helped my fatigue.

In fact, the constant bonerpalooza was exhausting to deal with.

"Oh look, that actress I enjoy has a fully exposed ankle." "I bet that attractive lady has boobs under that heavy winter coat." "Hey, is it Wednesday?"

At some point it becomes a chore, ya know?

Thank god it was well before 2014, because if I had seen Chris Evans bicep curling a helicopter I probably would have needed hospitalization.

/end dignified adult conversation

After six months I had 0% of the promised 30-50% improvement 90% of the time and she kept saying I just needed to give it more time. She said it works quicker with the IVs full of orange nonsense. But they custom made those IVs and can only administer them in Detroit. She claimed the oral supplements were filled with the same nonsense, but took much longer to kick in. She told me I could be patient or drive to Detroit once a week for an IV treatment if I wanted faster results. If that were true, I feel like that should have been disclosed at the beginning. But I was assured I could get the same results without the IV treatments.

It didn't matter at that point. My credit cards were maxed out and I was out of money. I called the doctor and asked if there was any treatment she could recommend that was covered by my insurance. She got very quiet and awkwardly said she would try to figure something out. Roughly 30 minutes later I was emailed a coupon for $20 off our next phone consultation. I responded and told her I literally had no money left.

I never heard from her again.

The Wizard had no ability to grant my wish for several trillion properly functioning mitochondrias. She had no magic treatment. I finally saw her for what she truly was.

With perfect hindsight I could now see all of the red flags.

Though if I hadn't at least tried, I probably would have wondered and regretted it.

Hard to say.

I was kind of amazed how they built a country wide collection of clinics and they were able to operate for years solely on the placebo effect.

Years later I was curious what happened to this network of quackery. I found a news article saying it was all shut down due to fraud. I don't think they had a holistic approach to paying their taxes.

The reason I am telling this tale is because I have been playing detective and gathering evidence for my disability case. I started to wonder if maybe I could find my fraudulent Wizard to see if she had any kind of records or something that might help me. I knew it was a long shot, but I didn't want to leave a stone unturned.

At first all I could remember was her last name and that she was a D.O. and not an M.D. Standard Google searches were not turning up anything. I couldn't find her current practice nor any contact information. Apparently her Greek last name is a popular Arabic first name for men... so all my searches kept resulting in doctor dudes. This was not the time for a sausage fest and I was getting frustrated.

And then I finally remembered the name of the medical company.

Fibromyalgia & Fatigue Centers, Inc.

I even remembered their URL... fibroandfatigue.com

So I went to the Wayback Machine and I was able to find their now-defunct website. I suddenly remembered its cloudy banner image and "concerned_woman.png" like it was yesterday.

Why, yes... I am tired of being tired.

I also remembered their promise that over 90% of patients had at least a 30-50% improvement. Which was the claim that sent me down this rabbit hole to begin with all those years ago.

I started searching different versions of the site to see how their claims of effectiveness changed over time. At first they basically implied they made everyone completely better.

If I saw that I would definitely think I was getting a cure. But I imagine this caused some problems so they had to dial it back a bit.

I couldn't find the 90% version, but I did find the 30-50%.

This actually sounds like you have a 100% chance of a 30 to 50% improvement.

As I skipped around to the archived captures of different years, the promised percentage kept changing. I don't think they did an actual statistical analysis of their patients. I think they just picked a percentage that sounded enticing without promising too much. Just enough to be life-changing with a built-in excuse for when it all goes tits up.

Years after my experience, the site finally settled on a 65% improvement in energy levels. It was on their new page detailing how "affordable" their treatment was.

$20,000, you say? Balderdash, no one would spend that much.

If you were curious, they claim their treatment is now affordable due to a new monthly payment plan system. It did not become any cheaper.

However, under the 65% promise, they added this disclaimer with a large bold heading...

Success depends largely on your dedication and commitment. Our most successful patients are the ones who make the commitment to follow the treatment program rigorously. Patients who are aggressive and comply with the treatment process experience significantly better long-term results than those whose dedication is half-hearted and whose compliance is minimal.

In other words, "If our bullshit supplements don't work, it is YOUR fault."

Or in my case... "If you run out of money, it is YOUR fault."

Oh and there was also this...

Looking at all of the versions of the Fibro & Fatigue, Inc website was certainly fascinating, but I had to quit dicking clicking around and find my focus.

I still had detective-ing to do.

I was on the hunt for a Detroit-area Greek doctor of osteopathy.

There were ~250 captures of the site between 2004 and 2016. She wasn't listed in the newest captures, nor the oldest captures. So I kept trying to drill down to find the exact time period she worked at the company.

And then... EUREKA!

She was hiding in 2005 on their "Meet the Doctors" page.

Her first name was *drumroll* Sultana!

I can't imagine why I didn't remember that common first name.

Finally, after weeks of trying to figure this out, I now had enough information to do a proper Google search and discover what the heck she is currently up to. Probably putting people in open-butt gowns to check their tonsils or something.

*googling noises intensify*

I'm not sure I've ever come across such a literal dead end.

Should I be making puns about this?

I mean, she did help exploit me out of my entire life savings and put me in significant credit card debt with the Sex Panther-approved promise of a guaranteed 30-50% recovery 90% of the time.

And the institution she was a part of was shut down for fraud.

Still... I never wished an early death upon her.

I would have been happy with a trip to small claims court.

[theworldofotps]

Medic To The Fighters

Pairing: Hook x Reader Word Counter: 1,532 Description: Y/n gets as side job as a medic for an underground fight club, that's where she meets Hook.

Enjoy my loves x Massive thank you to my beloved @omg-im-such-a-masochist for her help and encouragement with the idea. You are truly an inspiration and I'm forever thankful for you. ________ Tag list: @omg-im-such-a-masochist​ @melissahausen @new-zealand-chic​ @writtingrose​ @99hook @sjwrites22 @sassymox​ @mrsacklesevansmgk​ @xladyxfatex​ @adamcolesbaybay @irish-newzealand-idian-dutch​ @demonqueen29 @itsicantbelievethis666 @lilred91 @rebellious-desires @claymorexpunisher @letsgivethisonemoreshot @ava-valerie @shortyiceheart​ @serpantscorpio8497​ @thatpanpal @thatnerdwriter​ @wrestlersownmyheart @vebner37​ @auburnwrites​ @aews-four-pillars @seeingstarks​ @whenimakeitshine1234 @legit9thlunaticwarrior @blaquekitty​ @ironshamelessyouth​ @unoficialy-married-to-ace-austin​ @ripleyswhore @moonrosekk @xbreezymeadowsx @alyyaanna @elevennbloom @melblacc @alliwant456  @mcreignsera If you wanna be added to the list lemme know. ______ Y/n had big dreams when she was a kid, she knew she always wanted to be a doctor and had chased that dream all the way up to nearly finishing med school. When her beloved grandparent had fallen ill, she made the decision to leave school to care for them. Deciding to get a job at the local med express as a nurse’s aid to bring in money for bills. And for a while it had worked well, but then as prices in everything she knew it wasn’t enough.

One of her coworkers had pulled her off to the side one day when it seemed like everything that could go wrong was. Liv had taken the time to hear her out and even offered a shoulder to cry on, and when y/n had finally composed herself. Liv told her of a little side job she had heard of.

“Have you ever heard of underground fight clubs?”

Sure, she’d heard of them but didn’t think that Liv would have any connections to anything like that, after y/n nodded her head Liv smiled. “I have a friend who wrestles three times a week and the last medic they had to patch up the fighters moved, and they’ve been looking for a new one. It would be a bit of extra money for you that you can make under the table. If you want, go to this address tomorrow night and check it out.”

She had smiled writing the address down on a piece of scrape paper and handed it to y/n with a time. “You don’t have to but I would definitely give it some thought.” “Thank you Liv I really appreciate you trying to help me.” Embracing the other woman, Y/n placed the paper in her purse and spent the rest of the day and into the next morning contemplating it. When Liv offered to go with her Y/n finalized her decision to check it out, if it was too bad, she could always change her mind. After that night the two women met up in the parking lot of an old abandon building, and after following a ramp down into a dimly lit basement they came across a room filled with people. A old ring stood in the middle of the room with two men fighting in it, Y/n stood transfixed as she watched them go at it, so much so that when Liv gently tugged her arm she nearly tripped.

“Sorry, this is the guy who runs the two Tony he can answer any questions you have. I’m going to go find Max and see if he’s had a match yet.”

Introducing herself to Tony the two said in a pair of seats farther back from the crowd and while watching the pair in ring discussed what the job entitled. Y/n wouldn’t lie it worried her a bit that this wasn’t exactly a legit building or business to be doing this in. But she couldn’t lie the amount she’d be paid was well worth it. After speaking with Tony, a little longer she agreed to take the job as medic.

That was just a little over a year ago and it was one of the best decisions that y/n had ever made. She had quickly created friendships with a lot of the fighters, especially one she really enjoyed watching. Y/n wasn’t sure of his real name he only went by Hook, but he was always needing to be patched up. Every match he won and yet he’d need to come see her. Not that she minded he was absolutely beautiful to look at and he always seemed to enjoy listening to her talk. She looked forward to seeing him the three times a week that she worked.

Little did she know Hook or Tyler as he had yet to tell her his name felt the same exact way, in fact he was absolutely smitten with her. He couldn’t help but love listening to her chatter away about a bunch of different topics. And although Tyler didn’t say much other than an occasional word here or there it was one of his favorite parts of the week.

So yeah, maybe he asked his opponents to do their best to make him bleed that way he could see her, and he may offer them twenty dollars to keep their mouths shut. But he just couldn’t bring himself to come to her just as himself. Tyler also made sure that all the guys that worked in this fight club knew to keep their hands to themselves. Otherwise, he would end them without a second thought and personally send them to their loved ones in a pine box. It seemed to be working for the most part, the guys would give him a hard time after his matches when he’d be walking over to the medic set up.

Tyler simply flipped them off and did his best to keep his blush hidden. Tonight, he had a big match against one of the newbies and was excited to see y/n. Y/n checked over all her supplies to be sure she had everything that maybe needed for any situation. Satisfied, she made her way over towards the ring to watch a couple of matches, sitting in a vacant chair behind the barricade. Waving and chatting to a few people the lights flickered signaling that the show was about to start.

The first two matches went well without any injuries, which was nice as it gave y/n the chance to watch Hook’s match. Her eyes followed his every move as he walked into the ring, his eyes scanning the room, when they finally settled on her. Y/n felt her face heat up as he smirked winking at her and leaned against the rope. As the match started y/n was on the edge of her seat watching as the two knocked the hell out of each other. Hook’s opponent Jay managed to slip out of the ring and leaned on the barricade, Hook followed him and the two started fighting around the ring. Slamming each other into barricades, when Jay slammed Hook’s back into a post Y/n gasped.

“Come on Hook!”

She cheered clapping her hands to encourage him to get up, the man groaned and carefully pulled himself up after crawling over to the barricade she was standing in front of. Jay reached under the ring and grabbed a large stick. Walking over he swung it at Hook and cursed when it slipped out of his hand hitting Y/n in the head. “I’m so sorry I didn’t mean that.” Jay said and grunted when Hook looked at Y/n then back at him punching Jay in the face. Climbing on top of him Hook began repeatedly hitting Jay.

"I warned you all not to touch her."

Tyler hissed quietly as he tried to shake people off of him that the ref had called to come and separate the two. Y/n held her face trying to get the throbbing in her temple to stop, Tyler yanks himself free and walked over to Y/n gently cupping her cheek. Scooping her up he silently carried her over to the medical area. “Are you okay?”

Tyler asked in a soft voice pushing the hair out of his eyes as he set her down on the bench, y/n nodded her head slowly. “Yeah, it was an accident I just need the throbbing in my temple to go away.” “Maybe you should go to the hospital or something.”

“I can’t drive.”

“I’ll take you.”

Y/n slowly looked up at him surprised this was the first time he ever spoke to her; he didn’t owe y/n anything and yet he wanted to drive her to the hospital. “You don’t have to I imagine you’re probably tired.”

“No, I’m fine I just want to be sure that you’re taken care of besides it’ll be nice not to be the one bandaged up for once.” He smirked offering his hand and helped her stand up Tony came over to check on her and once given the okay to leave Tyler grabbed both their bags and lead y/n out to his car.

“I never did get your name, like your real name.”

She said after a moment of silence Tyler chuckled which felt like a burst of butterflies in her stomach.

“Name is Tyler.”

Holding her door, he made sure y/n was tucked safely inside her seat then got behind the wheel.

“I don’t think you can go inside without a shirt on.”

Tyler laughed again buckling up and started the car glancing over at her with his signature smirk.

“Don’t worry I’ll put one on when we arrive this is to distract you from the pain.”

Y/n couldn’t help the light laugh as her face heated up once more, she did her best to avoid glancing at his chest.

“How about after all of this is done and we’re sure you don’t have a concussion we go out for a bite to eat?” Stunned for a moment Y/n smiled looking over at him and gently nodded her head. “Yeah I’d really like that.” “Perfect it’s a date then.”

[demonslayedher]

Things that flew through my mind while watching this episode:

--For being called "Thank-you, Tokito-kun," Tokito-kun sure isn't in this episode much. Kotetsu-kun does not address Seaweed-Head with '-kun,' he addresses him with '-san.' Oyakata-sama addresses him simply as "Muichiro" in the flashback. Actually, I checked, and only Tanjiro ever calls him that. Is this going to be something Tanjiro hears and thanks him for later? Or has this whole series just been brief chapters in "The Legend of Zenitsu" and that is what Zenitsu titled it?

--Kotetsu-kun is having a bit of a weird night anyway. Brave boy--who, we mustn't forget, is a child who has every reason to feel overwhelmed--went off to get help so that Haganezuka's sword polishing would not be interrupted, and then he fought and nearly got eaten by a demon fish but stayed as strong as he could the whole time. But then when Muichiro starts carrying him and blasting forward at the speed of Pillar, I love that he's screaming his head off. I want a modern day AU of these two hanging out at an amusement park and Muichiro drags him on the big rollercoasters.

--And hey, look, another mention of how important it is not to interrupt that sword polishing process. You want that sword to get ruined, Tokito-kun? Remember that after all the effort you soon go through to protect Haganezuka-san. TO PROTECT THAT SWORD.

--Gonna right ahead to the end of the episode here and mention how Mitsuri is not at all like, "oh no, that's really, really bad" (which it is, that's why Gyokko targeted it), but "okay, watch out, I'm gonna do my best!" This is a girl who has found her true calling. She should give career advice. Does your career make your heart squeeze with excitement even in the tightest pinch?

--As a point of interesting comparison I'm going to come back to, Mitsuri's confidence is well-placed. She runs into situations that overwhelm her and she lacked confidence when trying to learn a Breath she wasn't suited for, but we never see her experience Pillar Imposter Syndrome. Besides just being extremely physically capable, she has picked up battle experience and it has become a part of her. This battle sense serves her very well. On the other hand, we have Muichiro who is not endowed with the same strength, but his analytical abilities are what make him a Pillar quality genius even before he gains much experience.

--Which brings me to Tanjiro, Nezuko, and Genya, the true stars of this episode.

--Look at these three, legit holding their own against Upper Moon Four. It is a wonder none of them died already. Ok, we have good reasons for why Nezuko and Genya haven't, but in Tanjiro's case, this is exactly what Mitsuri was talking about in episode 1 about how valuable Tanjiro's experience against Upper Moon Six was. Tanjiro has had a excellent gut for battle ever since throwing his axe in the air at Giyuu, and he's always been one to analyze a battle as he's swept up in it. But this is not the same Tanjiro who fought Kyogai! He is able to look for openings and weaknesses in totally different ways so that he can stay calm and relatively in control when fighting one-on-one with Urogi (using Urogi to fly back, now that deserves some flamboyant applause), and his battle senses have gotten strong enough to tell him that he might be able to protect himself against a demon's attack if he had the demon's own cells as a shield.

--Also, all those jokes about attacking Sailor Moon while she is transforming, or Goku while he's screaming and powering up? That is exactly what Urogi is going through.

--Genya, man, you might be coping with Repetitive Action, but you are living on spite.

--Now if only Rengoku could have learned a thing or two about not dying from gaping chest wounds

--Genya, since he fights with desperation, does not get many moments to look cool (badass, sure, but not cool-like-a-cucumber cool). That makes it's so nice that he got to strike that sword and glock pose while delivering the "I'm Shinazugawa Genya--that's the name of the guy who is gonna kill you!" line.

--Which means Genya just had the most Sailor Moon moment of this whole series.

--Sekido has good reason to be ticked off with his body-mates lolly-gagging instead of finishing the demon slayers off. After all, Muzan wants the whole village wiped out (and Gyokko is the only one getting any work done, with all four parts of Hantengu being wrapped up with these three slayers!). Aizetsu is like someone watching an animal die for the pure sadness of it. Aizetsu isn't exactly kind, though he is the odd one out among his body-mates, and I would indeed find it very, very funny if he could be convinced to befriend the sad humans (maybe out of getting some protection from Sekido). Sekido would be so pissed off about missing a critical piece of a more reasonable form like Zouhakuten, and Muzan would be pissed off as he gets this report from Sekido while Urogi and Karaku are running/flying amok.

--While I, being someone who has loved tengu for many years, appreciate the various tengu inspired elements in each of the four Ki-Do-Ai-Raku demons, I have always had trouble seeing it in Aizetsu. This is also why he seems like the odd one out to me. It's like, ah, yes, Sekido with the shakujo staff, Karaku with the bonten-kesa stole and hauchiwa fan, Urogi having the bird-like qualities of a karasu-tengu, and Aizetsu in a tracksuit.

--Instead of "half-tengu" wouldn't Hantengu's name make more sense as "quarter-tengu"?

--It's very funny that Hantengu's alter-egos all portray themselves on the side of spiritual mastery (by way of the tengu/Shugenja symbolism, followed by Buddhism-informed deity iconography, all of which is a whole different tangent of its own). Hantengu's own irony is too big to contain in one tiny body. But also, two crossovers I want to see, so if anybody draws them, please tag me: Hantengu & Co. as Father & Co. from Full Metal Alchemist, and Hantengu & Co. as the stars of Inside Out.

--I'll bet Sekido, as part of his anger-management in spiritual mastery, has agreed to stand by and give his body-mates a chance.

--Karaku acts like an overly pushy boyfriend. Learn from Nezuko, everyone. If a guy is ever giving you a hard time like that, kick his head off.

--Karaku wasn't himself in a position to be able to do much more, but his biggest mistake was giving Nezuko her opening. That whole series of moves she did there--well-placed and powerful kick, sacrificing an arm that'll quickly grow back anyway, throwing blood in Karaku's newly recovered face, and then using her fire as a distraction to reorient and physically overpower Karaku by twisting his arm off to perfectly use his hauchiwa against him, and then turn around ready to use it against Sekido--brilliant.

--Nezuko is not the same demon kicking around and getting her leg blown off by a Taisho soccer ball. She's also not the same demon desperately thrashing around a flesh-filled train. This isn't even the same demon curb-stomping Daki; she has mastery of this state now. Nezuko has peaked here with her battle techniques.

--...especially because this is last night she ever uses her demon abilities

--But!! Thinking ahead to Tamayo's analysis, Nezuko has been prioritizing other developments over reattaining her self-awareness, leaving her mind in a childlike state while she gains abilities closer and closer to those of Upper Moons, and finally masters the sun. However, Nezuko has also shown leaps and bounds in her awareness as well. Just think! What if we had a Nezuko as analytical as her brother this whole time? In all that time Tanjiro was asleep, perhaps Nezuko was also asleep, trying to attain mastery over herself so as to prevent another near mishap? And this gave her more ability to think in battle, as opposed to just attacking with her gut instinct? Nezuko is perhaps just acting on instinct when landing that series of moves on Karaku, but her instincts have gotten really sharp for how to save Tanjiro multiple times in this battle, and for using her blood to heat the sword, even if her idea was just "I'm stuck, take my fire and go." Whatever the case, baby does more than just slash and kick now and I'm so proud of her!

[brf-rumortrackinganon]

“Allegedly Meghan doesn't have Archie's real birth certificate because the palace is holding it hostage and she couldn't enroll him in school without it to verify his age.” You’re right, this is bunk. Even for legit nursery school/ daycare centers in the U.S., you have to provide a record of birth which I’m sure England has and would provide upon request. During The Cut interview she goes to pick him up from school so he goes somewhere. Also, they’d need to provide vaccination records which would also have his real birth date on it. Her lying really is pathological.

Also, I’ve always wondered what happened to the OB/GYN that closed without notice right after Lil Sam’s birth? The timing and circumstances were really odd.

I think people are misunderstanding the story about the school needing the birth certificate.

So to register kids for school here in the US, parents need to provide the school with the birth certificate that validates the child is who the parents say they are and their age so they can check vaccination records. Perfectly normal.

Meghan has claimed that when she went to register Archie for a school, she was told that Archie could not be registered because the school needed the original birth certificate and Meghan had only a copy.

A copy. A facsimile. A put-the-document-on-the-glass-scanner-and-press-the-green-button-to-duplicate copy. No watermarks, no raised edges, no bumpy ink from pen signature, no seals, no "if you hold this document at an angle, you should see X" lettering. Not an original copy of the birth certificate, a plain ol' printed on computer paper copy.

Because, as Meghan's PR claimed, the royal family had the original birth certificate and kept it under lock and key at Buckingham Palace and wouldn't let her have it. (The same way she claimed to Oprah that Buckingham Palace confiscated her car keys and passport after the wedding.) That there was some restriction or palace order that prevented her from possessing her own son's legal identification paperwork or requesting an authorized copy of the birth certificate.

If the Sussexes had an original copy of the birth certificate, there really isn't an issue, because it's a verified, authorized, certified, registered document.

But the fact that there was an issue with the Sussexes having a copy of the birth certificate, that suggests they didn't have the right copy, just a copy and a copy was deemed insufficient. Rather than taking accountability for a mistake (an easy one to make if it's your first child so no one honestly would've cared), Meghan blamed the BRF because that's what she does.

Which is problematic for three reasons:

She's the best mother to ever mother, and she's such a mama bear when it comes to her kids, but she can't 'mama bear up' to demand the BRF stop withholding her (and her son's) own legal documentation? Sure, ok Jan.

It's a mistake that's easily fixed by calling the registrar's office or Clarence House and asking for help. But instead she told a friend, and had the friend leak it, that the big bad BRF is withholding Archie's paperwork. She'd rather perpetuate drama for another media cycle than let things go.

It brings up all the original drama about Archie's birth and birth certificate, and the original questions about his legitimacy in the Line of Succession. And if we're discussing the issues with Archie's birth, might as well discuss the concerns about Lili's birth too, like how suddenly the doctor closed up practice and left town - just like this anon did with their ask.

So bringing up Archie's birth and birth certificate is really an own goal at this point.

(And anon who asked what happened with the original birth certificate, I still have your ask. It's buried somewhere in the inbox. I'll see if I can hunt it down this week.)

[pensat-i-fet]

Selfie partner (Rúben Dias x Reader)

**I got a request recently to do an imagine where Rúben and the protagonist meet, rather than the couple dynamics I’m usually requested. And I don’t even know if I’ve ever done this in imagine format before, how crazy is that? Then I realized I had this little idea outlined and it worked well for the request so hopefully you enjoy reading something cute this Sunday! ❤️**

Word count: 2033

Masterlist

Wattpad

“Alright. Like this…no, the shirt looks bad. Maybe this way…”, Rúben’s attempts at modelling while on the lift were interrupted by the doors opening on the 8th floor.

“Good morning”, you said, holding a laugh after finding one of your neighbours doing a photoshoot there at 8 am. Not what you expected.

“Morning”, he said, slightly embarrassed by being caught.

When you reached the ground floor, you said goodbye and left. He stayed on the lift to go one floor lower to find his car, but you were taking the bus. And all the way to work, you kept thinking about that funny moment. And about how cute the guy from the lift was. No wonder he was taking photos of himself everywhere. All guys who looked like him probably did the same.

“Sorry”, you said when you couldn’t help but laugh.

The next day, you thought about leaving in the morning ten minutes earlier than usual so you could grab a cup of coffee on the way to work. Tea wasn’t enough after staying up late to grade exams. And Rúben…well, he wanted to avoid being embarrassed again so he also left ten minutes earlier so he could get the stupid selfies done. He actually liked the shirt he was wearing that day better so it all worked out perfectly…until the doors opened on the 8th floor again and you caught him taking more photos.

“It’s ok. I just…I have to do this because of my management. I don’t just take photos all the time”.

“Management? Are you a model?”, you could believe that. But also couldn’t believe your luck of living in the same building as a model. Were there more? You were just wondering.

“No, I’m a footballer”.

You cocked your head to the side, confused. “I didn’t know that was part of the job”.

“Yeah…”.

"You don't have to make up jobs, really. It's ok to feel cute and want to take a photo of yourself. I'm not judging".

And now you didn't believe him…

"Look", he said, showing you his Instagram profile and then laughing seeing your shocked face. "You really didn't believe me then".

"Well, men lie all the time to impress girls", you said, shrugging and making him chuckle. "I imagine many pretend to be footballers often".

"Probably, yeah".

When you reached your floor, you left again after wishing him a good day and once you were gone, Rúben realised he didn't even ask your name. Too busy trying to justify his lift antics.

But it turned out he didn't need to ask it because you couldn't help going back to his profile while bored on the bus. He was a legit footballer but also…yes, there were all the photos he had to take because of his management. Or so he said.

He had more than 2 million followers so he wouldn't notice one new follower, right? But he did, of course. Rúben was just checking his notifications when he saw a face that looked familiar. And after clicking on the profile, he saw that it belonged to his neighbour that kept interrupting his photoshoots in the morning. It was a private account, should he request to follow you? Sure, he had nothing to lose, did he? Worst case scenario, he'd have to start walking down the stairs. He could always use the exercise.

After accepting his request, you hoped to find him in the lift the following day but…he wasn't there. Of course, three days in a row would be too much of a coincidence but you couldn't lie and say you weren't at least a bit disappointed.

And so was Rúben. He almost thought about talking to you on Instagram but that would have been too much, right? You barely knew each other. He did check your account to see if you had posted something about that day. Maybe it was your day off? It said on your profile that you were a professor but he wasn’t sure what your work schedule would look like.

When you got back home, you were so exhausted. But when the doors to the lift opened, you saw Rúben there and couldn't help but smile.

"Hi, mister footballer".

"Hello, professor. We see each other on the way back from work today then".

"Gotta spice it up a bit, I guess".

"8th floor, right?”, he asked, ready to press the button and you nodded. "I'm on the 12th".

Why was he telling you that?

There was silence after that. You didn't know each other after all but you both wanted to talk and didn't know what to say.

When you reached your floor, the doors opened and you stepped out after saying goodbye to Rúben. But instead of hearing the doors closing, you heard them open again and saw him leave the lift.

"What…".

"Do you wanna do something together? Like…go for a drink or food or I don't know…".

"I would love that", you said, happy he took the initiative. "I was planning on going for a picnic tomorrow by myself. I wouldn't mind the company".

"That's a great idea. I have training in the morning but then I'm free all day".

"Well, you know where to find me", you said, pointing at your door and making him chuckle. "Pick me up at noon?"

"I'll be there".

                                      **

Saturdays were the days you took off completely unless something came up. And you loved going out to have some food somewhere, either by yourself or with some friends. Since the weather was good for once, you knew you wanted to take that chance to go to the park and enjoy the sun. And now you had a companion for your little picnic.

Staring at your reflection in the mirror, you liked what you saw. Your outfit was cute but nothing that screamed “I’m going on a date”. Even if you guessed, and hoped, this was a date.

You were putting your hair up in a loose ponytail when the doorbell rang and you walked to open the door and found Rúben there. Well…he really put a lot of effort into his outfit, making you feel insecure all of a sudden.

“I need to get changed”, you said, making him frown.

“Why? You look good”.

“But you look better. I didn’t know we had to dress up so much for a picnic”.

He laughed and shook his head. “Remember I’m the one who takes selfies on the lift, so obviously I’ll try harder. But really, you look great so let’s go”.

This time you both were going to the same floor and soon you were out of the building on your way to the park you had chosen for the picnic.

“I hope you like the food. It’s healthy…for the most part”.

“I’m sure it’ll be fine but tell me what you have on that basket. I’m curious”.

“Oh, you know. The typical things…I got some sandwiches, summer rolls, some pasta salad, lots of fruit and some chocolate snacks. And juice and water”.

“Perfect!”

The park was obviously very busy on such a sunny day, but you found a nice little spot without too many people around. Placing the blanket on the grass, you got comfortable and started to take out the food so you could start eating.

“I’m starving. I didn’t eat after training”.

“Help yourself, then”, you laughed.

“Why don’t you tell me more about you? I only know you’re a professor and that you’re my neighbour”, he paused after trying some of the pasta salad. “And you’re pretty good at cooking too. Good qualities to have”.

“Thank you. I do know a bit about you…I googled you. Don’t judge”.

He smiled at you, trying not to laugh since his mouth was full of food.

And so you told him more about you. Where you were from, what you taught in University, why you had moved to Manchester, …

“And I’m guessing you're single”.

“You’re guessing right, mister Dias. I hope you’re single too. I don’t want to be fighting angry girlfriends”.

“Didn’t you find your answer to that on your Google search?”, he asked, raising an eyebrow playfully.

“Oh, I found a lot about your love life on my Google search. Hard to know how much I should believe, though”.

“Only believe the good. Always”, he laughed. And his laugh was so nice to hear that it always made you smile. “But yes, I’m single”.

“So the selfies weren’t for the posts your management wants you to do then. They were for Tinder. It all makes sense now”.

He snorted. “Will you help me choose the one that’ll attract all the pretty ladies? If you like them, then we know they’ll work”.

“I could help you take them too. Maybe we can add some shirtless photos too. You seem to like posting those and…well, I guess they are alright to look at”.

“Already asking me to take my clothes off. Wow! You move fast”.

“Sometimes”.

Anyone who saw you there would have known you two were flirting. The looks on your faces said it all. The smiles, the cheeky looks or the slight blush on both of your faces, but mostly on yours.

“Should we take a little walk around the park now we’re done eating?”

“Sure”, you agreed and with his help, you quickly tidied up and got up to go for that walk.

Rúben took the basket from your hands so he could hold it.

“Not as gentleman-like as you think because it weighs a lot less now, you know?”, you teased.

“Did I just lose points because of that?”

“One or two, yes. You should do something to get them back”.

“Like what?”

“Well, there are a few options. You could buy me an ice cream, you could carry me home later if my shoes hurt my feet or…you could give me a kiss? Your choice, really. Just offering some options”.

“Hmmm”, he pretended to think while turning to face you. “Ice cream sounds like the best option but I don’t see any places where we could buy it and those shoes actually look very comfy so I guess I’ll have to kiss you”.

“Poor you, it’s a big sacrifice but the points…”.

He interrupted you by placing a kiss on the tip of your nose, which made you laugh.

“That’s only half a point”.

“I have to do better then”.

He leaned down to kiss your lips and soon your arms were around his neck to help you kiss him better. One of his hands went to your waist while the other kept holding the basket until he got tired of not being able to hold you properly and dropped it, breaking your kiss for a second so you could laugh. And then you kissed again. Who cared about an old basket anyway?

“How many points was that?”

“Maybe…four? I don’t want you to get too comfortable by giving you too many”.

“Good…I love a challenge”.

                                     **

After that picnic date, there had been a few more. And now you texted each other every morning to know when to go to the lift and spend some minutes together before you both headed to work.

“You know”, you said one morning in between kisses. “We could take some selfies together. Not for your Instagram but for fun. It’s what made us talk to each other in the first place. It’d be cute”.

“Let’s do it”.

And when you were in the middle of taking another photo, the door opened on the 3rd floor and a neighbour looked at you with his eyebrows raised seeing the scene in front of him.

“I could wait if you’re busy…”.

“It’s ok”, you said, trying not to laugh. “We’re done. It’s for his Instagram. Not a model, just a footballer. This is part of the job apparently. Weird, I know”.

The neighbour kept looking at you two funny while Rúben pinched your arm and made you want to laugh even harder.

Minutes later, you were on the bus scrolling on social media when you got a notification for your Instagram that made you smile.

Rubendias

Finally found a selfie partner 📷

[chryblossomjjk]

bts fic recommendations | 01.25.23

→ hi friends! this is a little segment i do every tuesday (reviewsday get it, aren’t i funny, pls tell me how funny i am) where i read and review two-three fics. as a content creator, i know how big of a role other creators play in your growth, therefore, i want to do my part in making sure everyone gets the recognition they deserve! so with that being said, please check out the amazing fics listed below. make sure to like, reblog, and leave feedback! ♡ #reviewsday #kikirecs

scent of eager suds - @rkivian (knj x reader | smut, angst, pwp, fluff)

summary: you missed each other, too fucking much. but your head had stayed down in futile hopes of remaining stubborn, forgetting that there is a wedding ring on that tricksy little finger of his for a reason.

so..... genuinely convinced you are the reincarnate of shakespeare babe bc like:

"He would spend a considerably scant amount of time on such a task, yet fulfil it so thoroughly that the constant aching between your legs seemed more equitable than you would like it to be."

LOOK WHAT YOU DO WITH WORDS!!! like everything is so precise. i can tell there's so much thought put into every single word of this piece and woah.. the writing is fucking stellar, seriously. like just the words you use throughout this displays how the reader feels about being vulnerable with joonie: cruel, vengeful, venomous. u put pwp but like you characterized the fuck out of this reader and it's so good...

also... this is thee kim namjoon. like as someone who is v much similar to the reader and self sabotages relationships, ppl who love you enough to recognize that trait and do their best to prove u wrong

AND YOU DID THAT ALL THROUGHOUT THE FLITHIEST NASTIEST SEXIEST SMUT EVER PLS HE'S SO HOT LIKE HE TRULY JUST WANTS TO MAKE HER FEEL GOOD INSIDE AND OUT AND IM GATEKEEPING HIM!!!! this was so so so beautiful and thank you for sharing with plebeians like me :') <3

the one where jin is drunk off his face and you get friend-zoned - @indgio (ksj x reader | fluff, crack)

saf everything you write just comforts my soul. it's missing jin hours around these parts and this is exactly want i needed. i don't know how to explain it but this gives me run episode vibes? like... this is legit kim seokjin. I COULD TOTALLY PICTURE HIM DOING SOME SHIT LIKE THIS LMAO WHAT A SWEET BABY!

also love this oc fr. like from the opening paragraph i could already tell she's the most adorable, most precious being, and you proved it throughout the rest :') <3 taking care of ur drunk partner trope will never not get me and you did it so splendidly ugh will definitely be coming back to this when im sad and 3am and missing my seokjin :'( thanks for this ily <3

"tell me more about this girlfriend of yours."

but jin looks at you with a frown, as he downs the water. "no. get your own."

^also for whatever reason this took me tf out lmao

the one where jungkook will always protect you, even from the fictional - @indgio (jjk x reader | fluff, humor)

bby istg your writing is so... refreshing? like i always think i need these super crazy, convoluted, heavy plots for my fics to be good, but your writing is proof that doesn't have to be the case. your writing is so effortless, yet so beautiful. like once again, genuine comfort content that i don't see too much of anymore. going through your masterlist has really inspired me to take a new avenue, because your fics are just so fucking addicting. i just love the slice of life vibes so much uGh okay enough nutting over u and onto the fic sehfbjsehbdhwb

pov ur saf in my brain BC THE AMOUNT OF TIMES IVE DAYDREAMED ABOUT THIS EXACT SCENARIO IS MENTAL ILLNESS (was just picturing binge watching AOT w him :'))

this jungkook is such a golden retriever ass boyfriend my heart can't take it. the banter ?? the protectiveness ?? THE BITING THE EAR ??? naur im in love it's settled. adding him to the list of fav jungkook portrayals on tumby. will be thinking about him when im bored in the back of my lecture tomorrow. thank you for daydream fuel &lt;3

stfu yes it's wednesday get off my back >:'( i posted this early last week and was just trying to even the timing out that's all... im lying. anyways, love u lmao

[slocumjoe]

Can you do a companions react to a sole with poor fine motor skills that is really skilled in battle but can't do stuff like open can tabs or walk in a straight line or has trouble lile tying their shoes?

- Leaf anon 🌱

Cait; Wouldn't think much of it. She was an addict, she's known lots of other addicts, she's known raiders. People who's heads get messed with, either with substance or by getting hit too much. Fighting and shit like grabbing a door handle are different. Her worry is that they'd need their motor skills in a fight, or in a retreat...Cait would gripe about helping them with anything if they ask, but she can respect someone who's useful when it matters.

Codsworth; Would offer a hand whenever they looked like they needed it, but otherwise wouldn't comment or acknowledge it. It would feel very improper. They've got things handled most of the time, and if they aren't in pain, he doesn't need to worry. Would consult wasteland doctors if he felt they were legit, get their opinion, but Codsworth isn't the type to micromanage.

Curie; Worried mama hen. Curie would hover and possibly overstep. She means well, but if you don't want help with something, and don't need it, someone insisting they help is very 🙃🙃🙃. This is the first time I've used emojis in a react, only because I cannot describe the emotion those ones convey. Anyway. Curie would look into motor skills disabilities/in general in hopes of finding a way to remedy their struggles, make things easier. Some people might appreciate it, others would feel really patronized.

Danse; Would send them to Cade every time they returned to the Prydwen, just to check up on things. Obviously can't so that post BB. Danse has probably seen this before as well, but since he'd be traveling with them, he'd see it more and in different ways. Small corridor and they can't walk straight? His power armor is huge and lacks agility. They're bumping into each other. This would be an exercise in spacial awareness for him.

Deacon; one of the more worried ones. They're both spies. They need to be sneaking. You need to be able to move straight, pick locks, quickly type on keyboards. He's pleasantly surprised to see that Sole is still good at what they do, but there's always a little part of him waiting for that Chekov's Gun to go off. Also tends to hover around them, especially in hostile areas.

Gage; Don't let anyone know they have this issue and Gage is fine. Raiders will sniff that kind of thing out and get dollar signs for eyes. Walk straight the best you can, or play it off as a personality eccentricity. Don't say shit, don't go for soda in public. Very confused how they beat the Gaunlet. Very confused how they have such a high kill count. Will only help them out if its time-sensitive.

Hancock; Takes him...so long to notice. Not because he's high, he just fully doesn't realize it. He spends time around alcoholics and chemheads. Like Cait, that's just...normal for him? Hancock will offer help with some things, and still not notice what kind of help he's actually providing. He'll realize out of the blue one day and barge into the room asking if they have problems, just to make sure he's right.

MacCready; As long as he's the sniper, there's no reason to worry. If they start eyeing scopes to add to their guns, he might sweat a little. If they're a pickpocket type, he's just sweating. Pickpocket, sweating bullets. This would turn MacCready off crime, watching them try to sneak whatever from someone's pocket, when just three minutes ago, they had to bite their bag's zipper. Leave the precision stuff to him. Please. Please for the love of god.

Nick; Look at either of his hands. He probably doesn't have such great motor skills there, either, purely because he's just so old and banged up. This is a major source of bonding. Nick is the least likely to have any worry or concern for them; he gets around fine, so can they.

Preston; Second longest to notice. Faster than Hancock, but it still long enough for him to wonder if they were always like that, or if they're injured in some way. His concern comes before combat—they fight just fine, its the getting ready. Flicking their safety off, getting the gun out, reloading. Preston tends to go in front, so they have some time to prepare before they get into the action.

Piper; Like Preston, worries about transitional periods. Downtime, they're fine, firefight, they're fine. But those little moments in between, oooh, does Piper worry. Piper will keep count of how many bullets they use and let them know to reload, switch to something else, etc. Basically tracks all the info around, gets it to them so they have a few extra seconds to think and fiddle with whatever they have to.

X6-88; They are forbidden from heights. They are to remain at least ten feet away from more than a three-foot drop. Area too small? Understood, we're not going there, we're leaving. No, I don't care who asked for what. X6-88 hates heights as is. Someone pirouetteing their way off an edge is not happening. He truly does not care about anything else. Can't open things? Whatever. Bad with precision? Whatever. You can't walk straight, you are not going near ladders, bridges, scaffolding, cliffs, maybe even stairs if he thinks they're too tall.

[jupiter-mylove]

HEADCANNONS

James

-This man definitely gives piggy back rides, he doesn’t care if you think your heavy or anything. He would sprint through the halls carrying you in his back if you said you were tired.

-He’s a really good cook. He isn’t Gordon Ramsey but he can make home cooked meals almost as good as his momma. Man would totally make Alfredo or some kind of pasta for your first date.

-If you play quidditch on the Gryffindor team he would make sure you didn’t have practice while you were on your period (if you have one!) or if your sick

-If you wear his clothes he will pull you onto his lap, and show it off. Loves when people know your his <3

Remus

-Always makes sure he has a book with him that you might like, especially on the train or during classes. Will definitely annotate books and gift them to you so you can read the book and all his silly thoughts with it

-Would be so scared to tell you about his lycanthropy but will be super happy and grateful that you weren’t mad. He loves you and wants to be able to be honest but didn’t know how to break the news.

-Would always help you with your homework. Even if you don’t ask, he’s gonna proofread you essays and double check your astronomy charts.

-GIVES THE BEST MASSAGES! If your stuff after a long day, he will legit sit you down, massage your shoulders, and kiss your neck while asking about your day.

Sirius

-Cuddle bug right here, he always wants to be cuddled up next to you, on the common room couch, train compartment, three broomsticks booth, bench in the great hall, or by the black lake.

-Kisses are a must, if you haven’t had at least five kisses by breakfast he’s afraid you might die. James, Remus, and Peter tried to get him to do a prank and miss breakfast and he whined the whole time because he "didn’t get a second good morning kiss."

-At parties (especially his annual famous birthday party) he makes you dance with him so much. Every song, all night, every kind of dance. He somehow knows all the lyrics to every song they play and will sing the night away. Don’t let him get started on karaoke, though.

Peter (no I won’t exclude him, he’s a marauder too)

-Peter is the kind of guy that would take care of you when your sick. He goes full mum mode and brings you soup, checks your temp, and makes sure you get rest.

-He makes sure that the boys don’t prank you too bad, but if they do and you prank them back he would team up with you so he didn’t get on your bad side.

-I personally headcannon Peter to be neurodivergent and I think he would have trouble focusing in classes and things. He would lace your fingers together and play with your jewelry in class.

-Peter is really sweet and would never forget a date, special day, or anniversary. He brings you sunflowers to all of the dates, and charms them to not wilt

(A/N this is my first post on here! I have been in the marauders fandom for three years and the hp fandom for 12 years. I love all of these characters. I will write for the marauders era girls, regulus/+skittles, poly!marauders, golden trio era, and other fandoms if requested!)

LEAVE REQUESTS FOR ONESHOTS (x reader) AND MORE HEADCANNONS

[ottoslab]

(Shakes you) otto you've GOTTA tell me more about the freelance mystery solvers I GOTTA KNOW ABOUT EM WHAT ARE THEY DOIN !!! I love your designs sm btw your SO REAL FOR THIS AHH

HEEHEE ohhh ok cracks my knuckles. Im gonna be writing this right before passing Out for the night so apologies in advance if this isn’t very comprehensible but i will GLADLY explain the funny freelance mystery solvers o7

EDIT HI This got so long im putting it under a readmore KGJFNGKJSGK.

Also! I didn’t draw anything to go with this ask because i told myself id give my hand a break, but I do actually have some recent doodles of Vern and Kitty i was doing in between the lineup so I’ll put them here for a little display ^_^ theyre not in context of anything im about to mention, just some dynamic exploration stuff that are their own whole other rambles

Ok! Readmore time! Paragraphs of nonsense! For your viewing pleasure!

So!! Vernon and Kitty are both employed by True Psychic Tales independently of each other when theyre older. Vernon is an illustrator/interviewer for the graphic novel division and Kitty works in special effects makeup for the more-recent live action film division! They don’t end up crossing paths for a while until being assigned to work together to research stuff for an up-and-coming TPT film project or smth. They become work buddies after reconnecting (though they choose to mostly ignore the fact that they knew each other as kids due to How They Were back then. They’re both very embarrassed about it for numerous reasons)

It becomes commonplace for them to help each other out with projects, and eventually through their research (fact-checking and digging through old psychonauts mission archives) they start to come across old psychonauts files of unfinished or ‘suspicious’ looking missions, ones that normally didnt get the green light to be told in graphic novel form due to the fact that they were inconclusive and, as a result, don’t make for good stories.

Kitty and Vernon end up sort of… picking up on these old missions in their spare time. It’s not psychonauts work but its also not not psychonauts work, you know? They team up to try and work out what lead to dead ends in missions and cross-referencing possibly related stories with other stories, and go out into the field to try and get answers. I picture it a lot in my brain as an episodic mystery series vis a vis scooby doo. They pick their archived mission log of the week to check out, go out, get some answers, and get a conclusion to bring back to TPT and a new graphic novel is made of the story they were able to uncover! With some more overarching plots where they get a little in over their heads here and there.

Franke’s got a bit less of a fleshed out role in all of this atm, mostly because i havent thought of him as much as the other two? My current vague-idea i have is that she and kitty had a falling out during their teen years, and Franke calls Kitty and Vernon falsely claiming to have a lead on a mystery theyve been working on, in order to try and reconnect with Kitty after she stopped talking to him. He has to come clean when whatever she leads them to actually ends up being a real psychic issue, and she has to explain that she doesn’t know what’s going on because she hadn’t actually called in about anything legit.

Franke does end up being a good help despite technically being the reason they got into deep shit in the first place, and Vernon’s probably the one who asks her to stick around (Kitty isn’t against it, but definitely isn’t really all too welcoming about it either.) They definitely have a whole thing where they all get closer and Kitty and Franke get to mend fences (a character arc along the lines of franke realizing he was kind of a hardass who wanted to make up without actually accepting any faults, and some other super impressive character arcs along the way im sure.) And all three of them continue to go on mystery deep-dives and uncover unfinished psychonauts missions!! Wahoo yahoo!!

Mystery incorporated asses! They’re fun, i enjoy them a lot! Hopefully this is some good tidbits of detail for u thank u for asking about them :]

[northopalshore]

Hey pretty! Could you please please please tell me if Solar Return Charts can be “false”? I’ll tell you why I’m asking. I have a lot of placements indicating love this year. Like a lot. So many 7th houses. And yet, I didn’t even had a crush on anyone, let alone be interested in going on a date, and we’re in November. I’m not denying that I won’t fell in love in those two remaining months but the chances are low. And to bum myself out even more, I have NONE for next year and I checked few locations I know I’m gonna be at. Which suggests a total opposite to what my tarot reader said, whom I trust a lot because she talked about my past like she was there, so I know she’s legit, which is getting into a FwB relationship. And no love this year. So like a total mash up. I would love your intake on this and wanted to ask, if maybe checking Lunar chart would be a better option? Not only for love but overall. Wouldn’t it be clearer? Godni hope it’s not too chaotic 🩵🧡

Hello! Pretty? Ehhh??

Rather than fake (re-al or fa-ke lmao), I'd say that it manifests itself differently. Since each house and each sign encompasses a variety of different meanings. Although the 7th house is the house of partnerships and relationships, it's not limited to romantic connections.

I've had similar experiences where my 7th house/5th house would be occupied but I wasn't in the mood nor was able to get into the dating scene. However, during those years I've experienced a lot of significant events in my close connections. Friends, and family as well as people I collaborate with for work or school.

For example:

This is my 23/24 SRC. As you can see I have Jupiter, Moon and Uranus in my 7th house. All three signs could technically point to there being a relationship,a crush or even a fling.

In my case, Moon (24° pisces) in Aries manifested itself as a tense relationship I had between a close friend at the time. Moon trines both Mercury (retrograde) & Sun in the 3rd house. She was sort of like a mother figure to me then. We'd gossip and share a lot of things with each other. Though, the longer I stayed with her the more I started to see certain holes in her stories relating to her relationship with her now ex. She was clouded by the words that he said to her, and was blind to the straight up lies he shot at her face.

I acted pretty erratic around her as well which was definitely a fault from my part. She started to get a little too clingy with me & at some point it felt like she was bribing me to stay with her. She's not a manipulative person however. I just wasn't in a place where I could fully help her.

Jupiter (19° libra) retrograde in 7th house:

I've mentioned before somewhere in an ask, retrogrades usually mean that the energy you experience from that planet is internal rather than external. It also means past energy if that makes sense. Which means there is going to be a lot of introspection on your part. That's exactly what happened to me here lol. There were many suitors but I just didn't feel like they truly spoke to me you know? (It might be that libra influence lmao).

Venus opposite uranus (retrograde) in 7th house:

One of my exes (does it count if we "dated" for a day then I broke us up lmao) tried to pursue me again but it's just in the past y'know? It was unwanted romantic attention lmao. It gave me PTSD remembering the dumbass things I did out of naivety 😭. Plus, I was 100% sure he was also trying to pursue another girl at the time (who's actually into him) . I can't tell if he's just shallow or stupid lol. Boy, you are a grown ass man now. Don't embarrass yourself.

As for the accuracy of tarot readings:

I know it can be a bit of a touchy subject, but tarot can be rather tricky at times. Although it can provide you with great insight at times, you will encounter some that are rather misleading. To me, this can be a sign that we're meant to take our focus off of this subject for now. I guarantee you, there will not be a single tarot reader, astrologer or any other occult practitioner for that matter that will hit the nail on the head every time. I repeat, NONE.

What is meant to be hidden WILL remain hidden if that is what the universe wants.

I've had a few trusted tarot readers give me differing answers which just added to my confusion at the time lmao. Sometimes they can be drastically different & I'm just left shook TT. But that's just how it works, sometimes they are meant to be hidden from us. I understand how annoying it can be, but... stand proud TT.

It's part of our spiritual journey. At least it has been that way for me.

Hope this helps!

[thefamousbeatricebook]

My Dream, DREAM cast for ACOTAR. (Part 1.)

A little bit of clarification. I know in the book there are race equivalents to the real world (I think) , but this is just FACE and what I'd imagined each guy to look like becuzz.... well you'll see.

ALSO. I realise not all of these Men are the same person- but they're vibes are LEGIT who I imagined when reading.

FIRST UP, TAMLIN :

(Malcom lindberg)

(Tom Heukels)

(I actually don't know the name of this guy- but if you do~)

TARQUIN💗 (I stopped searching for names unless the pinterest pic had it. I got sick of surfing through images btw) :

(If they don't cast Mukasa kakonge I'm leaving.)

(BITCH. THIS IS TARQUIN. THIS. IS. TARQUIN. STOP LYING. SOMEONE CONTACT S.J.M. THIS WHOLE CAST IS GOING TO BE MODELS. I'M TALKING TEEN WOLF LEVEL OF MODEL CASTING. NO JOKE. MUKASA KAKONGE.)

( @w3tte, "A smile I could fall in love with!)

(This, but with white braids. Like someone contact the casting director, because bitch I FOUND HIM.)

(His hair is always tied up like this, and no one can convince me otherwise. The fan-arts did this to me.)

Helion (In my mind.. he's always looked like one of these two men. Def darker than the 2nd pic though. I always imagined him as Persian, or Arabian- maybe even Spanish or portuguese? I'm not sure if S.J.M did it strictly though.) :

This. This is who he is.

The jawline, the facial hair- the muscles.. spot on. I hope S.J.M really does deliver with that high lord inclusivity.

I know Pedro probably, okay maybe def- wouldn't play Helion. But this is Helion incarnate. I can just see this Man propositioning for a three-way with Azriel, Cassian and Mor, bitch.

Thesan :

(Does he even need introduction? Paing takhon. Thesan's always, always been Asian in my mind. I think it's canon AND accepted too so. )

(At this point. I want him to be RHYS in my imaginary movie with my imaginary dream actoar cast just so he gets more screen time...*In my head)

(uGH. I can't decide. Adarsh Jaikarran.)

( Pratik Shetty. This in golden clothes.

LUCIEN (I'M GOING TO GET DEATH THREATS. YES, Booboo NATIVE AMERICAN. I KNOW, BUT YOU CANNOT TELL ME THAT THIS IS NOT THE FACE OF LUCIEN VANSERRA EVERYBODY- THE SMIRK, THE LIPS, THE EYES>... And would it be so bad to cast a Native american actor as Lucien? or even have Beron be Native American? I don't think it would be. ) :

(Booboo stewart. He's the one I want, oh so badly. I can see this the first time him and Feyre go riding. )

(I'll fight to the grave. Bitch. I will. "If I give you the moon on a string, will you give me a kiss too?")

(This man. Snarling at Tamlin, leaving the doors wide open for Feyre to hear "For a guy with a heart of stone-", YES.)

Okay. So, Mr Stewart is perfect yes. But this is a dream cast, no? and who did I imagine the first time I picked up the book? (disclaimer: Who's smirk was I talking about in the disclaimer? A name bitch. That name's Billy wirth.

whoopsy,

this is not billy worth! I totally didn't check the sources close enough for the photos which held misinformation, this is actually Nuno Bettencourt, who is Portuguese!

This. This was, and is, what I imagined Lucien vanserra to always, always be.

Don't tell me you disagree.

Imagine, the mask- the hair. Red and gold. The russet eye. If the Harry potter fan-casts could make Ben barnes, who's almost FIFTY into sirius black...Billy wirth Nuno Bettencourt is MY lucien.

I'll be making a second post for who's next, bitches. Part 1.

Wait till I hunt down Azriel's fancast.

[ghostflowerhotpotch]

I KNEW I WASN'T CRAZY

THERE ARE DIFFERENT VERSIONS OF THE MOVIE FLOATING AROUND.

I NOTICE THIS AND I WASN'T SURE WHAT TO THINK.

Okay okay, I guess is time to give admit a couple of things; one of them is that as for now, I had watched this movie in theatres 5 times; and no it would not be all of them. I have no idea how much of the movie I had seen outside theatres because doing this analysis can make me watch a scene from three to ten times.

Another caveat to all of this is that I have ADHD, which means I can either miss something that was plainly on the screen because it wasn't too interesting to me, or, I would be picking on crap that no on else even thought about until I point it out but to me feels obvious.

Honestly one of the praises I have for this movie is being able to keep my attention for over two hours without me getting bored or restless; not to say every person with ADHD can't sit still watching movies, but for me personally is a challenge. I concentrate more on books.

I am getting sidetrack again, the thing is that I NOTICE THESE STUFF.

I watched the movie the day it came out, which meant I also watched the movie when the audio was a bit off. So I was expecting in sub sequence viewings to be different.

This may be just me, but in my first viewing I could had swore the presentation on the logos was different; they were fewer and there were more versions of Lord Miller's logos for what I recall.

There is also a difference when Lyla appears at first.

I noticed The Spot's dialogue, the Hobie Bubble, and Ben's different dialogue, but at first I just thought "Huh? That looks/sounds different, oh I may just be mixing up stuff."

Remember what I mentioned about my memory? It's quite funny, I can remember exact quotes from books I obsessed over a decade ago; but if you put me a picture of a client from my workplace, and ask me if this person came yesterday or on Monday, I may legit not know.

Rule of thumb if that is I am hyperfixating on it chances I will remember things correctly, but I also didn't think there would legit be different versions of a movie, so it seemed more feasible that I just didn't remember it right.

I also have some audio processing issues and the movie is hard to hear on certain parts unless you have headphones; so I thought perhaps I just heard wrong and my mind filled the blanks.

Gwen's dialogue? Oh that was the part where I thought for a hot minute I lost it.

Last time I went to the theatres I realized Gwen's dialogue while looking for Miles was missing, which of course I caught on because I am obsessed with them; and I notice right away that was missing.

When I went to check on with my friends, they were surprised to hear me say that because they also remembered it.

I will let out on a little secret; the post of "Please No!"? The second reason I put that video on that post, was in case I was right about things changing.

I am not sure how this movie will be distributed, and if the different versions may had to do with the audio mixing issues; meaning the first version could get lost eventually once this movie is properly on screening.

So, I got the video, uploaded on the post and linked to the original; because in case I am right and Gwen's dialogue gets cuts on that moment, I have proof that no, it was like that at one point, or in one version.

Sorry for the incredibly long ramble, I will come with an analysis soon. But I needed to share this here because 1) I am not crazy, and 2) If I discover parts of my analysis don't match the final version, well, I have proof that I wasn't making stuff up.

Thanks for reading!