#I had one conversation with him and now he lives in my mind rent free and it's annoying me
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dracolizardlars · 11 months ago
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My brain every time I meet a man about my age who has shoulder length+ hair and is moderately interesting to talk to: "Oh, our perfect mate!!!!"
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griffonsgrove · 10 months ago
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Hiiii!!! See your doing writing requests for Hazbin, Its my hyperfixation so I am in need of more content 👀 so I'd like to request maybe Vox general or NSFW headcanon ( either one is good lol-) with a afab reader maybe? This is my first time requesting something like this so sorry if I'm a little nervous or bad at requesting. I think this is how people are supposed to request? XD
General Dating Headcanons | Vox
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a/n: You're totally alright dear! You said everything just fine! As I've stated before, I got early access to the first two episodes, and it's been so interesting to analyze vox's character! I hope I can do him justice!! He's starting to grow on me now. I'm gonna stick with a gn!reader just because these are general headcanons and I want them to be suited for anyone!
fandom: Hazbin Hotel
wordcount: 1299
cw: SPOILERS FOR HAZBIN HOTEL, swearing, vulgar content, stalking, death and mentions of death/murder., toxic/absuive relationships.
(PLATONIC):
Vox’s got eyes EVERYWHERE in hell. There is no escaping his line of sight unless you go completely off the grid. Which is pretty difficult to do when the entirety of pentagram city is covered head to toe in VoxTech.
However, if you don't pose a threat to him, he really doesn't give a shit about you otherwise, and won’t pay that much attention to your life.
When you first fell into hell, you were mostly confused as to how you wound up here in the first place. That quickly subsided into fear as you noticed the large variety of demons and sinners casually walking down the sidewalk like it was an average tuesday. 
You’ll never forget the sight of seeing a demon gnaw off the arm of another and swallow it whole, like it was an all-you-can-eat buffet. 
You wander aimlessly down the streets, keeping to yourself and being very cautious of those around you. Your clothes were in tatters, and you didn't have any form of money whatsoever, what were you to do??
You had two options: Somehow find a job in this new horrific realm, or, die.
You didn't care too much for the latter.
This is how you stumble across one of the largest studios/clubs in hell, owned by probably the most feared overlords in pentagram city. The V’s. 
You get hired to be nothing more than a waiter/waitress, to serve the patrons of the club, mostly serving them their drinks.
You weren't too fond of the work uniform either. It left nothing to the imagination, and exposed alot of skin, far too much to your liking. The job actually paid somewhat decently though and it was enough to be able to sustain a living. You were quick to rent out the nearest apartment.
One day, while you’re out on the main floor, making your rounds, your eyes briefly lock with the TV demon across a sea of sinners. Call it cheesy, but it was almost like a spark went off the moment he laid eyes on you. Which is something that doesn't happen often with the tech-savvy overlord. Who were you??
He lazily beckons you over with a claw, to which you obediently follow, although it doesn't hide the sheer nervousness written all over your face, He gives you his drink order in that sultry, velvet voice of his, eyeing you up. You gulp slightly and are quick to bring him his order. He thought you were so cute trembling for him.
He begins to stalk observe you closer after that. If you have any electronic devices he’ll watch you through your screens, trying to get a glimpse into what your life was like outside of work. The things you enjoyed doing in your free time, favorite shows, foods etc.
He def goes through your search history.
He would start showing up more in the sections you worked at, oftentimes minding his business, but occasionally striking up a conversation with you.
You did have to admit he was quite the charmer, his smooth voice was hypnotic to you.
OBSESSIVE TENDENCIES. If he notices some creep won't leave you alone while you're working, he’ll take care of them personally, it’s never a pretty sight afterwards. He cant have anyone taking what's his.
You're oblivious to his stalking and possessiveness, you don't think much of it, maybe that's because he puts on a friendly face when you’re around him.
But after some time of getting to know you, He’s the one that eventually asks you out on a “date”. You’re skeptical at first, but decide to accept his offer. And also partially because you were afraid of what would happen if you said no.
(ROMANTIC):
Ngl it’s kind of a situationship in the beginning.
Vox is a busy man, it’s constant work maintaining the studios (especially valentinos temper) and managing the entirety of hell's technology. So, he may ghost you at first.
That being said, He will still keep an eye on you. He often watches through your phone while you sleep, just to make sure you’re safe. Hell is a dangerous place after all.
Speaking of, you’re now under the protection of the V’s, so that’s a plus! You never have to worry about another demon laying a finger on you. They usually never get close enough to anyways.
He very easily gets jealous. He won't show it on the outside because he has an image to uphold, but you can tell every time from that crazed look in his eyes.
Vox is a possessive lover; he wants to keep you all to himself. If he could, he’d keep you locked up by his side all day.
CONTROLLING. He HAS to know where you’re at, at all times, and who you’re going to be with (lest you face one of his tantrums). Also dictates what you wear, He likes to dress you up to his liking, like you’re his own personal doll.
Insecure much?
Say goodbye to privacy btw. He constantly has you in the back of his mind and a watchful eye on you. It can be kind of suffocating at times. The two of you have gotten into a few arguments because of this.
Valentino gets jealous of you too. How dare you take his boy-toy away from him? He’s often giving you the stink eye and will threaten you behind vox’s back. You’re too scared to tell Vox, because you don't want to face Val’s wrath.
You know briefly of his and Val’s “relationship” it all had seemed very one-sided and completely unhealthy.
You're often having to calm Vox down. The man has a very short temper and is easily provoked. 
Imagine you pressing little kisses to his screen after he found out about Alastor’s return. He remains stoic, but secretly enjoys your affection.
Some of the pet names he loves to call you include; Doll, Dear, Darling, Sweetheart, Babe.
Pretty old-fashioned ik, but he's a classy man alright?
He tends to be pretty touchy, always having a clawed hand on the small of your back, or an arm wrapped around your waist. It’s more of a possessive trait of his, to keep what's his close.
He loves having you sprawled on his lap while he’s in his screen room, you stay nuzzled into his side, often taking naps while he does broadcasts.
He TOTALLY spoils you btw. He’s one of the most powerful overlords in hell, ofc he has the money to show it. Whatever dingy apartment you had before, forget about it bc this man has you living in a penthouse suite in one of the most expensive apartment buildings. He sees you looking at something in a store or online?? Boom, it’s yours now.
He loves buying you clothes, as I’ve said before, you're his “doll” and he loves playing dress up with you.
And if you buy him something?? He’s taken by surprise at first, he’s never really been on the receiving end of that affection, so whatever it is you give him he’ll cherish it.
If you ever have someone bothering you, or want to get rid of, you just say the word babe. He’ll be feeding them to his sharks >:)
The man is emotionally constipated, ok?? All he’s ever known from relationships is what he shared with Val (and trust me that was a train wreck). He’s rough around the edges, short-tempered and isn't always easy to get along with, and he’s incredibly possessive which can be suffocating to deal with at times. This probably stems from him not wanting to actually be alone, He doesn't want you to slip out of his grasp, so he keeps a tight leash on you. But underneath all these flaws, he really does love you and care about you. At the end of the day, He just wants someone that will stay.
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hoshigray · 1 year ago
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hey there! what do you think would toji’s reaction be when he finds out that you like getting spanked? (your version of toji lives in my mind rent free)
Damn, noonie!! This one was enticing to write, I ain't gon' lie lol had to sacrifice sleep to see it through hahaha. Hope you enjoy it!! And tysmmmm ;w; it's nice to know that others like how I write for my man~~ ♡
Cw: dom!Toji x fem!reader - doggy style/backshot position - Daddy kink - impact play/spanking (obvi) - slight degradation (Toji calls you a whore) - clitoral play (pinches to the clit) - pet names (angel, baby, sweetie/sweetheart, mama) - praise - mentions of drool - unprotected sex but Toji doesn't shoot inside. Wc: 1.4k
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The first time it happened was on accident.
You and Toji were sitting on the couch watching television— his favorite basketball team was on, and by the looks of it (and the older man's frustration ticking up by the second), the game wasn't going so well. The score was neck-and-neck; you could tell it was pushing your boyfriend to the edge.
Nervously, you pick up your glass to sip your beverage, only to find it completely empty. You get up from the couch and move past Toji. However, simultaneously, something happened on the program that caused the man to groan in vexation and throw his big hands out aggressively.
The back of his hand unexpectedly meets your ass, causing you to shriek and drop the glass. Toji hears the sound of glass shattering and stops watching the sport to assess what transpired. When he sees you rub your butt where the back of his palm bumped into, apologies enter the scene.
"Oh shit, sorry 'bout that, baby." He gets up to pull you away from the glass, but you forgive him knowing his actions weren't intentional.
The second time, though, was far from an accident.
Toji came home from grocery shopping and walked into the shared bedroom to see you lying on the bed, on the phone with your best friend talking about whatever. A quick smile is flashed his way before returning to your conversation while he removes his leather jacket and exchanges his outdoor clothes for something more comfortable.
When he's done changing, he looks at you, so glued to your device that you don't notice him observing. He notices how laid back you are, lying on your stomach with just an oversized sweatshirt — his sweatshirt — and your panty-covered bottom for his eyes to see.
Emerald eyes linger on your lower half, tracing the lacy material of your undergarment. A smirk sneaks through scarred lips while Toji silently moves towards you, raising his hand before it comes down on your ass. And it comes down hard.
Expected, you react to the sudden interruption. But this time, Toji doesn't hear a shriek leave your lips. No, no. To his ears, it sounded like something with a more pleasant intonation. A moan.
You freeze. He freezes. No one says anything until someone on the other side of your phone comments.
"Hey, is something wrong?" Your best friend has a worried tone in their voice. "Was that a moan just now? Oh, I swear to God, Y/n, you better not be having sex while on the phone—"
You quickly interject. "No, no, no! Sorry, it was just that...Toji!!" With anger plastered on your face, you glare at your boyfriend, who's undoubtedly the culprit of what happened a few seconds ago.
He doesn't explain himself as he straightens himself and exits the bedroom. Even as he escaped, his smug grin remained on his face. "My bad, kid." he laughed and closed the bedroom door.
Fast forward to the present, you and Toji are in the comfort of your shared bedroom. "Nnmph! Oh, fuck...Daddy, feels so goo—Ahhhnn!"
With your back arched and your butt raised, Toji fucks you doggy style. Your mouth is covered by the satin covers of the pillow, suppressing the ecstatic noises from your mouth. His hands are positioned on each side of your hips, stationing you to take in the ruts of his sex. You can feel every dent and vein of his cock scraping your insides, the delicious sensation corrupting your senses.
The man drills his dick deep within you, and the sounds of his pelvis slamming onto your butt fill the bedroom. Toji can't help but admire having you like this for him and him alone: exposing your sweat-covered back and your soft rear being pounded. It turns him on so fucking much. And don't get him started on your pussy. The way your inner walls clench around him every time the base of his cock kisses your southern lips? Oh, it fucks him up so much, using every fiber of his being to not come too quick.
"Hnngh! Fuck, Y/n..." He moans to you, grinding his hips on your butt for his length to further churn your insides. It has you gripping the sheets with a bitten lip. "Feel so good fr' me, mama."
Although, he can't help but notice something. Anytime he brushes his hand on your buttocks, a jolt comes from your body. Along with a quick grasp of your cunt around his cock.
It's been apparent for the past six minutes, yet only now is when it hits him: the accident and his little prank before directly connect to what's happening now. It hits him, and he can't fight the tiny smile that's starting to bloom.
Now, the third time has finally presented itself.
"Hey, sweetie." You moan at the pet name, and hums of pleasure seep out when Toji slows the pace of his thrusts. "Does my baby like to get spanked?
Suddenly, everything in the room feels like it's come to a halt, and your blood runs cold. "H-Huh?" You meekly question.
"Oh, I know you heard me." A chill trickles down your spine when you hear him snicker from behind, and a squeak exits your puffy lips when you feel a big hand slither up and down the cusp of your ass. "Go on. Tell Daddy how much you love to get y'r ass smacked by me, sweetheart."
You can't tell if the sweat on your forehead is from the heat or the anxious pool in your stomach. You try to rationalize. "N-Now, Toji. Let's not try any—Eeeyaaah!!!"
A harsh slap on your ass causes you to substitute your thoughts with a forced scream. Your cunt tightens around his cock in haste, and he hisses. His fingers dig deep into the stinging flesh, and you can only imagine the tiny crescents his nails are branding onto your delicate skin.
"Aaaaahhh, shit...Sorry, angel, I didn't quite catch that." Toji bends down to bite your shoulder, resulting in another choked cry filling the air. "What's my name again, Y/n?" His voice drops to a dangerous low octave that makes you shiver.
"Nnmmm...I'm sorry, Daddy," you purr under him.
He grins hard with his hand kneading your ass. "Y'r grippin' me hard every time I play with this ass." He smacks your asscheek again, tears prickle at the corner of your eyes, and you prove his point when your slit contracts around him again. "What do you want Daddy to do 'bout that?"
With heavy huffs, you try to regain some sense to formulate a proper response for the man dominating over you. Your face is hot with embarrassment coursing through your quivering body.
"I...I want—"
"Speak a lil louder, baby." Fingernails sink deep into the skin of your ass, and you jerk from the pain.
"Pleaseeee, Daddyyy," you know your whines only feed his ego, but that's what he wants. That's how you'll get what you're aching for. "Pleaseee, I want you to slap my ass...I want it so ba—Aaaaahhhh!!!"
And with that, Toji doesn't hold back. Fast ruts to your soaping slit are paired along with strikes to your butt, and there's no use in you trying to conceal the mewls flying out your mouth. Every harsh smack to your bottom forces your pussy to clamp around Toji's dick. The contrasts between the pleasurable commotion and the extreme hits of his hands are too intense for your brain to comprehend.
Toji, however, enjoys this type of change in rhythm. "Aiishhh, damn. Who woulda thought my baby liked gettin' their ass smacked, grippin' me like a dirty whore." Your asscheeks are now stinging and hot from his painful touch, your cunt clenching ahold of him as he bullies your body inside and out. "But—Oh, fuckin' shit...I fuckin' love this."
And you can't deny it either; despite you moaning out loud and having your body be used like a porn star, your arousal is at an all-time high. Tears and drool now fall from your pretty face and stain the satin pillow covers.
So much so that your orgasm hits you without your recollection when Toji snakes down a hand to pinch on your clit. The abrupt, cruel, yet exhilarating tweak to your sensitive bud topped it off, tipping you to experience your long-awaited climax.
Toji knows he'll follow suit when he feels the walls of your chasm flutter around his cock, taking out his member to shoot his load out. His essence paints your ass, striking down slowly to your back.
You two heave through the aftershocks, your body now sweaty and dirty with filth on your back and between your legs. The older man leans down to kiss your shoulders. "Did so good fr' me, mama. We outta do that more often."
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godmadeaterribleerror · 10 days ago
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To Need Somebody
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Read on A03!
Tags: Dean Winchester/Female Reader, angst, very light fluff, pre-established relationship, no use of y/n
Summary/Warnings: After a hunt goes poorly, Dean retreats down a well-tread path of self-loathing. You've been here before, and you'll be here again, and you'll stay every time. Self-esteem warning, but that's it.
Author's Note: First Dean fic! A very good excuse to rewatch supernatural and say it's for my own edification as if he doesn't live in my head rent-free.
Title from Renegade by Big Red Machine ft Taylor Swift.
Word Count: 3.8k
The night doesn’t pass as quickly as you’d like it to. It’s long and slow, treelines and yellow grass moving in blur out the window as the stinging, stabbing pain in your leg keeps you awake.
You keep your face pressed to the glass, hidden in shadows and under your makeshift blanket—it’s just a jacket, but it’s Dean’s so it smells like him and might be better than a blanket—so that the light reflecting off your tired, tear-stained face doesn’t catch the attention of the rear-view mirror.
Doesn’t catch the attention of Dean.
He hasn’t spoken since the drive home began. He’d carried you to the car, then into the motel, then on the bed, holding you still while Sam cleaned and sewed up the gash in your thigh. Dean had muttered words of comfort and let you bite down on his shirt through the stitches. He’d told you that you’d done well, and that the kid was going to be fine.
The kid with you was going to be fine. You’d been faster than the demon—but not faster than its blade aimed at your leg—and the little girl who had attached to you was going to be traumatized, but had a lifetime ahead of her to heal from it.
The little boy that had been with Dean didn’t. He was ash scattered over the skyline and stuck to wet grass. And you knew Dean blamed himself, even though Sam had told you in hushed words at a gas station that it there was nothing anyone could have done. The kids eyes had started to go black, and he’d wandered to the window with an expression of wonder Dean had caught immediately, because he was a good hunter and better man.
And it wasn’t Dean’s fault the kid had punched through the window with inhuman strength. You’d all assumed that the crazy fucking ritual was more of an offering than a conversion. If your kid had punched through a window, you would have likely lost her as well.
But you hadn’t. Sam’s hadn’t lost his either. By pure, shit luck, Dean’s was the one that formed a stronger connection. That fell under faster, and died for it.
So now Dean wasn’t speaking to you or Sam. He’d helped you to the Impala, checked that you were comfortable, and set his jacket over your body, even after you told him you were okay. You’d reached a hand up to his face, told him you loved him, and gotten a grimacing smile in return.
You know he loves you. He’s not good at saying it, but you know. You know because he’s driving slower than usual, to avoid bumps. You know because the music is low, and it’s one of his better tapes. One of the one’s you’ve told him you like more than the others, and the one he always put it on when you’re in pain.
There isn’t a doubt in your mind that Dean loves you. And the silent acts of attention and service make the exact three times he has said it all the more meaningful.
The first time, when you’d tried to leave—reaching a breaking point of I can’t keep loving him like this, but I can’t get over him while I’m here—and he’d shot down your every fear with begging words and a confession he’d sounded afraid to make.
The second time, when you’d died. Really died, and Dean had tried to break up with you to protect you when you’d come back. You’d called an idiot, but your idiot, and simply refused to leave him. You’d told him to give you one good reason he wanted you to go, and he’d never see you again. He’d shouted, and you’d screamed, and you think you won. You’re still here, so you won. 
The third time, which you called the good time. Where he hadn’t said it in a shout or plea, or because he was in afraid of losing you in whatever form, but because he wanted to. Dean had really just wanted you to know that he loved you, and now you did. And you’d never doubt it again.
But this still hurts. The wall that forms over Dean—a form of protection from this silent burden and self-inflicted torture you know must be unbearable and heavier than the world, crushing on his shoulders and head and ribs—is like a stray dog that you just have to watch tear itself apart, and hope it will accept your outstretched hand. Offering comfort it doesn’t know it deserves.
You know Dean loves you, and you know he never takes your hand, and it still really fucking hurts. A fight would be better than this. Screaming would be a relief to the heavy silence that had started to form a weight in your lungs. Your head felt like iron, and you were beginning to wonder if your tongue with ever stop being a pointless muscle that was uncomfortable in your mouth. Stop just itching at your teeth and finally become useful. Find the right words that would make Dean do anything, anything at all. Literally anything that wasn’t sitting like a sentry and holding the wheel like—if he choked it and it spat out blood—something would fix itself.
It’s dawn when you hear the engine stop, and you can’t move. A little because you still can’t fully support any weight on your leg, but mostly because moving will be acknowledging that you’re awake. And being awake comes with choices. You either have to look at Dean and pretend you don’t see the way he’s ripping himself apart before smashing everything back together in a way that’s just a little less stable than before, or you have to not look at Dean.
He’ll notice. He notices everything, especially obvious things like you not looking at him. And it will hurt him—make this hole you think lives in his ribcage or spine bigger and more hollow—so no matter what pain it causes you, you need to look at Dean.
You push up your forearms with a groan, and he’s right there. Already watching you, so obviously in pain, and so obviously guarded from it that there’s not much for you to do right now. These are things Dean has to ask you for before you can give them. If you offer kind words, he’ll think they’re tainted with pity and spit venomous ones back. If you offer a body he’ll take it, but then the hole will grow larger as the guilt sets in for using you, even if you were the one that asked.
When it’s like this, all you can do is sit with him. Let him help you into the bunker, and—when he tries to put you in bed—insist he stays here, or you go where he goes.
You can make that about you, about not wanting to be abandoned in the midst of your physical turmoil, instead of Dean. He’ll let you follow him if it’s for you.
“You need to rest,” he grunts your name, and these are the first words he’s spoken in almost twelve hours. They’re almost inaudible, and a little angry, but they’re the most amazing sounds you’ve ever heard. “Been a long night. You’re hurt-“
“I can rest with you.” You whisper, and he looks like you shot him. “I don’t want to be alone, Dean. Please.”
There’s a long, horrible moment where you think he’ll say no. Where he’ll mutter that he’s never a productive in a bedroom setting for anything like resting, give you an empty smirk and a sleep well, Sweetheart before walking out the door and closing it behind him. If he does, you won’t be near him until he comes to bed in the dead of night, finally deeming himself worthy of undeserved luxuries like blankets and pillows.
In that awful moment, you consider crawling to him and dragging the entire bed set with you. Demanding that he gives you just proximity, because you both need it. He won’t have to touch you, or look at you, or speak to you, but he’ll be near you. At an acceptable distance, in case something in him escapes and you need to be there to catch it.
Dean doesn’t help you out of bed to follow him. But he does climb onto the mattress at your side, sitting up at the headboard and resting his hands in fists against his thighs, staring ahead with a practiced, unreadable expression.
You take it. Loving Dean is a lot of taking things. A lot of trying to give things back and having them be refused. It’s worth it, worth every screamed fight and strange, empty moment of only being near him, because most of the time it’s not like this. Most of the time it’s jokes and shared, sparring words. It’s almost all watching him be goofy and charming, and kissing a stubbled cheek when he gets in a mock fight with Sam and loses. Smiling and telling him you’ll get him next time, Buddy.
But these darker, emptier times are an unavoidable hazard of the trade. People who date in offices have to navigate HR, people who date in entertainment have to deal with the media and hunters who date have to deal with the fact that loss is inevitable, and you can’t afford to be attached to anything. On top of that, Winchesters who date have to grapple with their whole… everything.
But Dean is still with you. And that means he’s decided the joy of having you is worth the pain of losing you. It’s why when you slip your hand into his, he doesn’t pull it away. He squeezes it, and clings to it like a lifeline.
Sleep fades in and out in a haze, never long enough to dream or feel rested, but enough to register that Dean is crumbling. It starts with his body suddenly slouched down the mattress, then his legs are tangled in yours. Soon after your face is near his neck, and finally, he’s asleep at your side.
From there the day is traded sleep. You’re awake, and you shift the blanket to cover his body with yours. He’s awake, and suddenly your hair has been brushed from your face. You’re awake, your leg is hooked over his waist. He’s awake, you’re on top of him.
When you’re finally awake together, you just watch each other. You don’t speak first—Dean always to speaks first during these things—but you might have to stay here for a while until he does.
His eyes strained as if something is going to burst out of him, and he’s using every fiber and crevice of his will to keep it in. You don’t want to keep demanding more of Dean’s will. You don’t want to demand anything of him at all. So you just wait for him to fall a little further—keeping a soft, encouraging smile on your face the whole time—until he comes down entirely and speaks again. Light words coated in a pain that makes your head and heart ache, but words all the same.
“How’d you end up there, Sweetheart?”
You shrug, matching his tone but making your face more open. Wide and almost innocent, considering the position of resting over to your sex-god boyfriend, whose hands are wandering to hold you by your thigh. “Not sure.” You lean down, smiling at Dean like you have a secret as your voice drops to a whisper. “Between you and me, I think someone keeps putting me here. I go to sleep and wake up in the same place every time.”
He chuckles. “We should do something’ about that. Tie you to the bed so you can’t be moved.”
“I think,” you kiss his jaw, tangling your fingers in the soft, spiky hair at the nape of his neck. “That might just spur him on. He’d like the challenge.”
You start to kiss over his cheek—because it’s rare you get moment to just touch him without any need to go further, with neither of you asking for more, so you’re taking full advantage—and Dean’s head falling back with a low, long sigh, eyes closing as you continue your self-set task.
“He might.” Dean mutters. “But he also might not let you get to the sleepin’ stage.”
“He would.” You say against his skin, rising back up to watch his face, a strange combination of relaxed pain on his features that you knew too well. Where his brown was drawn but his breathing was slow and easy, and his mouth was parted but in a small frown. “Or he’d end up sleeping on me. The joke would be on him, though, because I love that too.”
“You seem to know this guy real well,” he says your name, dragging his eyes open to hold your gaze, and almost breaking your heart with how tired he looks. How he doesn’t seem to find peace in the truth of the words he’s saying. “He know you?”
“Better than anyone.” You whisper. “And I do know him. I’d like to think it’s better than most.”
“Do ya?”
“I do.” You drop your chin to prop on his chest, and Dean shift up to keep watching you as you speak. “He’s a bit of a goof, but very serious when he needs to be. He’s charming and handsome and a total cowboy, right down to the very odd chivalry and voice.”
“Odd chivalry?”
“He’ll hold my hair back when I’m sick and open every door, but he gets all bitchy when I ask for a fry, even when I offer a blowjob in return.”
“I always give you the fry, even when you just fucking ate all your own. And I don’t take the blowjob.” Dean grumbles, and your smile widens.
“Because you’re a very chivalrous guy, Winchester. Even if you keep moving me on top of you in the middle of the night.”
He frowns, scanning over your face. “I can stop that-“
“Don’t. I think I’ll find my way back here anyway.”
“Yeah? You like it here, huh.”
Dean’s words aren’t teasing like they might have been on another morning, but defeated. All you can do is hold your ground, and stay.
“I love it here.” You hum, playing with his hair under your hands in the way that always slows his breathing and eases the storm in his brain. “I love you.”
Dean sighs, and you know exactly what’s coming before he says it. “Look, Baby-“
“Don’t call me Baby, Dean.” You mutter, continuing your movements. “That’s either a sex name or an apology name, and we’re not about to have sex."
He says your name again, and it’s lower and deeper than before. Like he never wants to stop saying it, but can’t afford to anymore. “You gotta understand that I’m no good for you. Hell, no one’s good for you, but son of a bitch, I’m plain bad-“
You drop your head down to his chest, and take a long, laboring breath. This happens, in some form, every time. You don’t want his apologies or excuses or attempts to convince you to leave. If anything they just cement your place here, because you can be a little spiteful, and you’re not one to give up. As long as Dean keeps loving you, you’ll keep waiting out the darker nights at his side. 
But you’re also a little sick of it. How pointless this is, how it only wastes the finite time life has to offer to anyone, let alone two hunters. How it hurts Dean to say, and you to hear, and he seems to think he’s doing you some sort of favor by pushing you away. That this is saving you and not killing you. Slowly, slowly eating at you until you don’t leave—you won’t leave—but you do start to wonder if it’s you. If Dean just doesn’t trust you or like you all that much, and doesn’t want to hurt your feelings. It’s just as irrational as Dean’s own logic—if only because he’s hurt your feelings a lot before, and always torn himself apart for it after out of love and pain after, making it up to you tenfold—but it remains a little, nagging voice in your head. That people who want you don’t try to push you away. That he does love you, but maybe can’t see a life with you, and just wants you gone.
You try and offer yourself some grace for your doubt, because it’s really, truly, not about Dean. Despite what he seems to believe, you’re not perfect either. You don’t end up hunting because you’re incredibly emotionally stable and have a pristine, joyful past. It just all happened to fall into place that your breaks and cracks line up with Deans. That he can fill in divets and depressions that eat at you—not pretty enough, not likable, nothing anyone could really chose to stay around, always the backup, always the poet and the prophet but never with a name people will remember when you’re inevitably gone—and you can do the same for him.
You need to try to keep doing the same for him. There are parts of you Dean knows that soothing and healing will take time to do, and parts of Dean you’re worried to touch and make worse, but there are also breaking points. Where your words start to spill out in a desperate play to just make it a little better for you both.
This is one of them. And all he’ll have to do is listen.
“You don’t need to agree with me,” when you start your voice is soft but cracked, like a breath you have to fight to take. “And you can even tell me I’m wrong after. But please don’t leave.” 
He looks mostly confused at that, at the sudden shift in the air and spaces between it. Still heavy and clouded with sorrow, but also wired. Detriment. “I ain’t leaving you-“ He says your name, and you cut him off with a sigh. 
“Don’t leave the room. Don’t leave the bed. Just stay here and listen.” 
His frown deepens, but he nods. And now you have to talk. 
It’s not rehearsed or prepared, but it doesn’t need to be. You know what you need to say.
“I’m not going to tell you it wasn’t your fault, because I know you hate that. But I hate when you do this. When you blame yourself, or try to. It’s mean to me.” 
Dean’s hands tense on your body, and he looks like a wounded animal, but you keep going.
“I love you. A lot. And when you tell me I shouldn’t it’s, it hurts.” You sigh, trying to just keep your eyes fixed on a freckle near his nose as you start to choke on your own words and the salty taste they bring. “It doesn’t feel good. It’s like you think I don’t know what I’m doing. Like you’ve tricked me into loving you, when I want to be here. I really like being here, and I know it’s not about me, but I want it to be.” You chance a look at his eyes, and they’re glossy. No tears—you’ve never seen them before, and you likely won’t see them now—but the closest thing you ever get from him. A storm that stays green and trapped, instead of crashing out onto golden, soft skin for you to brush away.
You feel a little selfish, because this is really not about you.
And you can’t really bring yourself to care, or stop.
“I wish you’d let this be about me too.” You whisper, your voice almost inaudible over the lump and ache in your throat. “I wish you’d let me help. I let you help, Dean, and it’s not fair.”
“’S different, Baby.” Dean’s voice is hoarse, and a little unsteady as he shakes his head. “I don’t-“ 
“If you say need help, Winchester, you’re going to need to start rehearsing your speech to convince Chuck to send you back again.”
“You don’t know I was gonna to say that-“
“Yes, you were. And it’s not different. I want to help, Dean.” You’re almost pleasing, and it’s an effort not to crawl up his chest and outright beg. “Let me help, or stop telling me I should fucking leave you. I’m not going to, and I know you don’t really want me to, or we’d have been done two years ago.”
“You shoulda listened two years ago-“
“But I didn’t. And I won’t now.”
Dean shakes his head, huffing a dry laugh. “You’re real damn stubborn, anyone ever told you that?”
“You have.” You let a smile twitch at your lips, but you still don’t relent. “And I’ve told you that you’re no better. And it’s one of the many reasons why I don’t want anyone else.”
“You should-“ 
“No, I shouldn’t.” You give a full, close-lipped smile that’s mostly made of hope. You haven’t fixed anything, but you may have soothed it. Found a way to make his hated a little less consuming, because this is hurting you, and Dean hates hurting you. If he can’t start to change or listen to genuine reason, you can use his own twisted logic against him. “And I’m staying here. Because I love you, and I don’t want to hear about how I deserve better. I know what I deserve, and I know what I want.”
“Me.” 
Dean says his word like he hates it, and you say yours like it’s a prayer. “You.” 
He looks defeated, but not in pain. When his hand wanders up your back, tangling in your hair and tugging it just enough for you to know what he wants, you comply. Falling carefully forward and letting Dean’s lips find yours, allowing him to lead the kiss and decide where it ends. Long and soft and almost delicate, his free hand still rubbing and squeezing on your thigh, but nothing more.
It doesn’t need to be more. Because Dean pulls back slowly, staring at you with a slight awe as he clears his throat, and his voice come out slow, but not forced.
“I,” he swallows, shaking his head at mostly himself. “I love you. And I, uh, I’m glad you’re still here. Glad you’re stubborn.” 
Your smile makes your cheeks hurt, but it’s pain born of joy, so it’s not really pain at all. “I’m glad I’m stubborn too.” You rest back down against him, and know neither of you will move for a long while. “It means I get to stay here.” 
End Note: I'm pre-gaming something. Thank you so, so much for reading!
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Seven Minutes In Heaven | Stu Macher
Pairing: Stu Macher x female!reader 
Word count: 4.1K
Warnings/contents: Light smut, sexual innuendos, mild language, mentions of future sex, light clit stimulation, slight name calling. 
Notes: Well… I was gonna do Billy… But… here we are, and this is not Billy. Stu has been living in my brain rent free the past couple of days and I’m not sure how to get rid of him. Do I want to? I hope that you all enjoy this chapter, it was fun to write! 
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The party was crowded all around you. It was nearly midnight, but there was no sign of the lively crowd leaving or dropping any time soon. You leaned against the wall in the room beside the kitchen, watching everybody laughing, singing and dancing. You’d been going hard all night— drinking, dancing, singing, and bouncing around the rooms with Sidney and Tatum. So you were taking a break with a fresh drink. 
Your stomach had started to hurt less than an hour ago, but you ignored it and took another swig of your drink. Everything tonight was sort of a blur. You weren’t sure if it was because you’d drank too much, or because everything was going fast; people were everywhere, and yet, you hadn’t seen Stu, Billy or Randy in the past few hours. You had seen Tatum and Sidney constantly throughout the night before you departed to get a new drink and they went to the bathroom. 
An arm wrapped around your shoulder, nearly making you jump before you looked and saw Sidney. 
“You scared me,” you feigned annoyance at the woman who sent you a grin. “I thought that you were some creep.” She laughed and took a quick sip of her drink. 
“It’s only Tatum and I,” she said as Tatum rounded the corner and sent you a smile. 
“Guys— have you seen Randy tonight?” 
“Uh, I think he was in the kitchen last I saw,” you said innocently, earning a cackle from Sidney. 
“She means that she thinks he looks hot.” You gave a quick laugh and tossed your head back on her shoulder. 
“No! Not Randy Meeks!” 
“What— it isn’t my fault. He looks hot tonight.” You and Sidney shared a laugh that made Tatum roll her eyes. “Come on guys— let me get over Stu how I please.” Her words felt like something that should have made you stop laughing and teasing, but you knew for a fact that she was over the man she’d previously been with; shockingly, he had been the one that broke up with her, despite Sidney’s constant bothering Tatum to break up with him. 
“Any way you want— just not with Randy.” You heckled the woman who sighed dreamily and leaned against the wall on your other side with a cup in her hand. You took a quick glance inside of it and chuckled. “Maybe you’re losing your mind because you’ve been drinking too much.” 
“It has to take a lot of shots to get with Randy,” Sidney sent Tatum a grin that she ignored. 
“I haven’t drank that much.” She told you, but you were quick to raise an eyebrow. You’d been with the two a majority of the night, and you knew for a fact that Tatum had drank nearly as much as you— possibly more in the short time that you had been separated. 
“Sure, Tate,” you shrugged the conversation off, knowing not to argue with her about this right now. She was far too drunk to accurately retort right now and it felt crude of you to continue teasing her. “If Randy is what you want…” You gave a soft blow from your mouth. “Fuck it. Then go for it.” Tatum hesitated, a slow smile spreading across her face as she pushed herself off of the wall with her shoulder. “Whoah— I do not like the face you just made,” you watched the woman start to head off across the room and shared a worried look with Sidney. 
“Should we… follow her?” 
“Probably.” The two of you made your way through the crowd, trying to follow the back of her head as quickly as you could to not lose her, but you were worried you’d accidentally end up following the wrong person if you got bumped into or blinded for a moment. By time the two of you made it off of the crowded makeshift dance floor, you saw Tatum across the room whispering something to Stu. 
You shared a quick, shocked look with the woman beside you before you looked back and saw him laughing and nodding. Tatum met your gaze across the room and waved in the air, beckoning the two of you over. 
“What are you talking to Stu for?” Sidney asked with a raised eyebrow. “I thought that the two of you were… well, not on speaking terms.” 
“I have a plan,” Tatum said with a cheerful grin. “We’re going to play seven minutes in heaven! It’s the perfect excuse to get Randy into the closet with me.” After a moment of silence, you spoke. 
“Why don’t you just get him into a bedroom upstairs with you?” She seemed to think for a moment before she shrugged. 
“I didn’t think of it.” You went to speak again, but she cut you off. “Well, it’s too late now. We both have something to gain from this anyways.” She sent you a wink that made your stomach tighten. 
What the hell did she mean by that? 
“Tatum—“ 
A whistle came over the room as the music abruptly stopped. People groaned and looked around in confusion. Stu stood on a table, waving a hat around the room. 
“It’s time for seven minutes in heaven!” Drunk people in the room started to cheer at his excitement. “We’re splitting into 3 different groups since there’s so many of us. Those of you who don’t want to play can stay here. Everyone else, split into groups and follow me.” Tatum grabbed your hand, so you grabbed Sidney’s hand, and quickly ran towards the direction Stu was going. You nearly stumbled over your feet on the way to the living room. “Alright— so we have 3 hats, I’m gonna do a headcount and put a slip of paper into the hat for every person in the room.” 
“How do we know who’s who?” Someone called. 
“I know. Billy knows.” 
“What if we don’t trust you?” Sidney asked with a raised eyebrow at the man who chuckled. 
“Okay— I’ll let one more person know the numbers for each group. (y/n)— you can have the numbers for our group,” your attention drifted off as you watched the man continue to speak, anxious about the game. You didn’t want to play— you did not want to get trapped in a room with any of these drunk people. But at the moment, it didn’t seem like you had a choice as Tatum squeezed your hand. 
“Thank you,” Tatum whispered to you quickly. You sent her a small, tight smile and watched the room start to disperse. Stu walked towards you and gestured for you to follow him. You let go of the girls hands, your own feeling clammy and numb. You hadn’t realized that you were anxiously squeezing their hands so tightly. 
“Whatever number Randy or Tatum picks doesn’t matter. We’re gonna say it’s theirs so they get locked in a closet together.” He spoke simply. “As for everyone else, we’re gonna go clockwise so that it’s easy to remember. I’m not sober enough to remember everybody in this room.” Feeling queasy, you sent the man a quick nod. 
“Sounds good to me.” You were quick to walk away from the man when he turned to Billy and went to sit between Tatum and Sidney. Sidney sent you a pat on the back while Stu jutted out the hat at the first victim of the circle— someone that you didn’t know the name of. He pulled a slip of paper out of the hat and called out the number. 
“Six.” You quickly looked around the group, counting clockwise to the sixth person and seeing another girl. She had long red hair, but you weren’t sure what her name was. For the most part, you knew about a total of five people at Stu’s parties— him included. 
The two got up, following Stu to the coat closet across the room. There were several spread throughout the house, giving plenty of room for every group to have one party go at once. 
He blocked the door with a chair and walked back to the group with his phone in hand, starting a timer for seven minutes and sitting down with the group while it counted down. The thought of spending seven minutes locked in a tight space with anybody in this room made your stomach churn. 
“Randy, I dare you to take 3 shots of (y/n)’s drink.” You looked at Stu, shocked: nobody said anything about playing another game while people were in the closet. 
“What— you didn’t let me choose between truth or dare!” He complained. Stu shrugged, clearly not caring and not going to change his mind. Randy looked at you and sighed, scooting closer and reaching for your drink that you outstretched tentatively. 
“Don’t give that back.” Randy almost looked offended. 
“I’m not sick!” 
“I don’t want your germs in my mouth.” Randy rolled his eyes, moving back to sit where he was previously since you didn’t want the drink back, and took 3 large shots into his mouth and winced. 
“God, (y/n)— this is strong,” he complained. You laughed at the man and watched him set the drink down with a grimace. Randy took a moment to get the taste from his mouth with his own drink before he looked around the circle for his next victim. “Hmm… Sidney… truth or dare.” 
“Truth,” she said, not trusting the look on Randy’s face. 
“Did you or did you not fuck Billy last weekend?” Her face warmed and you snickered; she should have known a truth would be just as bad from Randy as a dare. 
“Uh… I did.” She avoided eye contact with Billy who stole a quick glance at her. “God, you’re a pervert,” she mumbled, glancing at Tatum and wondering why she wanted to be locked in a closet with him. Just before Sidney spoke to pick her next person, the timer on Stu’s phone went off. He held a finger up to pause the game and got up, walking towards the closet. He moved the chair and abruptly slammed open the door, clearly wanting to catch the two in the act of doing something, and yet he only found them kissing sloppily. 
“Time’s up, love birds.” He shoved the two out of the closet, snickering when the girl was flushing and went back to the circle with her head down. Stu shook the hat and walked towards you, stopping with the hat right in front of your face. You reached up and into the hat, digging around until you felt like you found the right piece of paper. 
You pulled it out and looked at it. A 4 was scribbled on the paper. You looked to your left and met Sidney’s eyes. 
“Thank god,” you mumbled quietly, watching her laugh. 
“Well, then.” Stu smirked. “Come on, ladies.” Sidney rolled her eyes at the man and stood up. 
“Don’t be a pervert.” She grumbled, walking towards the closet with you. A quick look was shared between you and Stu. He sent you a wink as you walked into the cramped closet with Sidney. Stu shut the door and almost immediately you heard the chair scrape across the floor. 
“Seven minutes!” He called before he walked away. You gave a sigh and leaned back against the wall, brushing your hair back from your face. 
“I’m so glad it’s you I’m in here with.” The room was so dark you could barely see her, but you could see the woman enough to watch her smile. 
“Yeah— I agree. I did not want to be in here with one of those drunk guys. They look like they could barely stand.” You laughed and shook your head. 
“I wish Tatum had wanted to play this game when everyone was more sober.” 
“Or not at all,” Sidney grimaced. 
“Well, maybe you’ll get locked in here with Billy.” You teased the woman who gave your shoulder a slap. “Alright— alright!” You shoved her hand away with a grin. “I’ll leave you alone.” 
“Speaking of being locked in here with people…” She hesitated, confusing you. 
“What do you want to do, make out?” You teased the woman. 
“Absolutely not. I was wondering— have you seen Stu tonight?” 
“Uh— yeah? I was talking to him not that long ago about the game.” 
“Yeah, but that isn’t what I meant.” 
“I’m confused.” 
“He’s eyeing you like he wants to fuck you right there.” You choked on your own spit and nearly had a coughing fit. “I’m serious! He’s so eye fucking you.” You couldn’t tell if she was annoyed or not by her tone. She sounded half-disgusted and half-teasing. “The wink?” She added. “Stu doesn’t just wink.” 
“Stu flirts with everyone,” you said when you finally caught your breath. “He’s not eye fucking me, he’s just being… ugh.” You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t oblivious. You had seen him out of the corner of your eye a few times, but that didn’t mean that you thought that he was staring at you specifically. Wasn’t he just kind of a whore? 
“All I’m saying is that you better wish upon a star you don’t get locked in here with him or you’re gonna be caught naked.” You gasped and made her laugh. 
“I don’t want to fuck him. Even if he wants to fuck me— nobody said that I wanted to fuck him.” 
“Tatum fell for him.” You gave a soft scoff and looked down. 
“Whatever.” She reached over and gave you a gentle pat on the shoulder; the two of you stood in silence for a few minutes before the door opened and Stu looked in. He raised an eyebrow and stepped aside. 
“Boring.” Was all he said. “Randy, Tate— you’re next.” You raised an eyebrow and looked towards Tatum who stood a little too quickly. 
“What?” 
“We let Tatum choose while the two of you were still in here.” Stu sent you a knowing look and let Randy and Tatum inside the closet. She sent you an excited look and you swore that you saw Randy blushing before Stu shut the door and put the chair in front of the door. He took his time starting the timer on the way back to the circle. You went to go sit beside Sidney, but a cold hand caught your wrist and pulled you down. You gave a soft sound in shock and looked at Stu as he turned on the timer and leaned towards you. 
“What’s up with Tatum wanting to fuck Randy?” He asked, his breath hitting your ear. You felt ashamed as your face heated up as he spoke. 
“Uh, I don’t know.” You chewed on the inside of your cheek and gazed across the circle at Sidney who looked like she was going to burst. You sent her a sharp look. “She just mentioned it tonight. Maybe she’s just drunk. Why? Jealous?” You finally looked at the man again. He had a single raised eyebrow. 
“Me? Jealous?” He laughed. “No way. I have options.” You quickly looked away as the man eyed you too intensely. “Sidney,” he spoke, eyes still trained on you for a moment before he looked at her. “Truth or dare?” She hesitated for a minute, thinking about her last choice and the truth she had to answer. 
“Dare.” He smirked at the girl and looked at Billy that sat a few feet away from him. 
“Sit on Billy’s lap until I pick out of the hat.” 
“Wait—“ 
“What’s the matter? You were just on his dick last weekend.” He said, as innocently as he could. She shot him a look and almost pleaded with her eyes at you. 
“I can always, uh… take the dare instead.” You said in an attempt to save your friend from the embarrassment. 
“No,” Stu spoke quickly, shaking his head. “This is for Sidney. Sid, sit on Billy’s lap for the next few minutes.” You shrugged gently and sent her an apologetic look. 
‘I tried’ you mouthed at the woman as she stood and walked over to Billy. You didn’t bother looking over and watching her, knowing that she certainly didn’t want to be seen in a moment like this. With a content hum, Stu looked around the circle then at the timer on his lap. There were still four minutes left for the two in the room and nearly half of the people had left while you and Sidney were in the closet. 
“Well… unless you wanna kiss me, there’s not much else we can do.” Stu spoke. It took a moment for you to realize that he was talking to you. 
“I’m not going to kiss you. I wasn’t going to choose dare anyways! It’s not even your turn again!” You blurted out shakily. He snickered and rested back on his hands. 
“Alright. Guess we get to wait.” The room was awkwardly silent. The music was quieter than it had been all night, but it still made your teeth feel like they were buzzing even after all of this time away from the loud room. 
Being able to hear your breath made you feel self-conscious, so you glanced at Sidney and saw her stiff against Billy who had a hand on her leg. She caught your gaze and gently shook her head as you bit back a smile. 
The timer going off nearly made you jump. Stu got up slowly, stopping the timer and grabbed the hat instead of heading for the closet. You looked up at the man as he shoved his hand into the hat. All of the papers were still in there, even for the people that had left, but he smiled when he picked up his piece. He handed it down to Billy as Sidney scrambled off of his lap and stood up. 
“Gotta run to the bathroom,” she mumbled to you as she passed by you. You were too distracted watching the two share a quick, quiet conversation. Billy sent Stu and quick smirk as Stu laughed and stood up straight again. He headed over to the closet as Billy pocketed the paper and looked at you. 
“Let me guess, you?” You asked hopefully. Billy stood and stretched his legs with a shake of his head. 
“I hope your breath smells good.” He teased, moving to sit on the sofa as your face fell. You watched as Tatum straightened her shirt and sent you a grin. Randy’s face was bright red as he aimlessly followed Tatum towards the other room. Nobody was left but you, Billy and Stu. Fingers grabbed your own, the same cold, slender fingers that grabbed you before. You dug your nail into the side of your free thumb and looked at the man. 
“Just you and me now,” he winked at you and tugged you towards the closet. Billy followed the two of you to the closet, giving Stu a slap on the back as he got into the small, cramped space with you, and shut the door. The chair scraped across the floor and hooked underneath the handle. 
“Seven minutes.” Billy spoke through the door and walked away. You were dead silent, fearing to even breathe. Stu shockingly didn’t smell purely like alcohol. Instead, he smelled minty, like he’d recently had gum. The lingering scent of his cologne was in your nose as he stood so close that you swore you felt his body heat. 
“I’m guessing you and Sidney didn’t do what we’re about to,” he spoke in a tone you had never heard from him before; enticing, flirty— dare you say it— sexy. You clenched your jaw and tried becoming one with the wall. Stu got closer, his breath along your warm cheekbones. 
“We don’t have to do anything.” You spoke quickly. 
“This is seven minutes in heaven. That’s the golden rule of this game.” He grasped your waist and pulled you flush against his chest. You gave a soft gasp and pressed your palm flat to his chest. “You’re gonna tell me that you don’t want to kiss me like I wanna kiss you?” He teased. “You’re not struggling. You’re not yelling or hitting me.” Stu nudged your chin up and leaned in, his lips brushing gently across yours with the slightest kiss that you didn’t return. 
Your breath hitched and earned another laugh from the man in front of you. 
“Yeah. You don’t want to kiss me.” He mumbled beneath his breath, ignoring your silent protests as he pressed his lips to yours. Your fingers grasped at his chest, legs shaky as the man held you close. You struggled for a moment in his arms, but Stu was persistent. His tongue brushed along your bottom lip and made you flush. Involuntarily, your mouth opened for the man that pushed his tongue into your mouth and grasped tighter at your hips. 
The fight in you seemed to have abandoned you as you finally leaned into the man. Stu reached his hand down, groping at your ass and earning a soft gasp from you as he pressed your hips to his. His fingers grasped your thigh, edging it up to wrap around his waist in an attempt to feel your body completely pressed against his own. Your face was hot as you felt the obvious hardness in his pants. 
“You feel how hard I am for you?” He teased between feverish kisses that you leaned in to even when he pulled back. “It’s sure as hell not for Tatum fucking Randy in the bathroom upstairs.” He snickered, sliding his hand up your side and groping at your breast over the bra that you wore. 
Stu left your lips with a soft ‘smack,’ but before you could even react, he leaned down to press a few scattered kisses to your neck. Stu’s fingers were long and strong, groping at your breast and making you give a soft moan in return to his lips sucking on your skin. Stu gave a devious chuckle and pulled away from your neck, shoving his lips back to your mouth as his opposite hand slid along your thigh. You shifted against the man, leaning closer to him and making it easier for his fingers to press to your clit over your clothing. 
“Better stay quiet. You wouldn’t want anyone thinking that you cave so easily, would you?” He laughed at you as you gave another small moan at his fingers rubbing small circles on your clit. Your body tingled at his touch, at the kisses that he pressed to your lips. Stu knew he had you when his fingers pushed into your pants and you didn’t even falter. His fingers pressed to your entrance over your underwear and he gave a chuckle. “You’re wet,” he mumbled against your lips. “Are you a little slut? Getting horny for me in the closet? Are you into the thought of Billy hearing you moan for me in here?” 
“Mmm, Stu—“ you grumbled in complaint as he chuckled. He pressed another kiss to your lips and shoved his fingers into your panties. You squirmed against the mans hands as his fingers rubbed bare at your clit. You were getting desperate, the alcohol in your system wasn’t making it easy on you to make the right choices. 
And as Stu pushed one of his long fingers inside of you, it was too hard for you to stop. 
Stu easily sensed how desperate you were as you clenched slightly around his fingers. He chuckled, pulling his hand back and sucking off his fingers before he reached over and pounded on the door. 
“As sexy as this is, I’d rather go to my room and keep your moans and screams to myself,” he pressed a kiss to your neck as footsteps started heading to the closet. His warm breath hit your ear as he whispered to you. “I’m gonna strip all of this off of you and fuck you until you’re soaking the bed.” You gave a soft sound beneath your breath in embarrassment to his vulgar words, something that earned a devious chuckle from the man that stood over you. 
The light coming from outside nearly blinded you as you squinted and tried to adjust to the drastic light change. 
“That wasn’t seven minutes.” Billy’s familiar voice spoke as slender fingers grabbed your own quickly and started to lead you from the closet. You glanced over, seeing Sidney sitting on the ground with flushed cheeks. She sent you a confused look, something you shrugged at. 
“I decided I need more than seven minutes.” Stu sent his best friend and wink before he tugged you after him. “Come on. Let’s go to my room. You won’t regret it.” 
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guttednights · 10 months ago
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𝔗𝔴𝔬 𝔦𝔫 𝔬𝔫𝔢
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Warnings: threesome, mdni, overall smut with johnny and simon (and fluff)
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You had no idea when you started dating Simon that Johnny was an extra bonus. You and Simon first met when you moved to the 141 as a recruit. At first, Simon avoided you at all costs, why? because he thought you were pretty and he's a bit intimidated by you. but after some time (and Johnny pushing and threatening him) he finally spoke to you. it may have not been anything major just a simple acknowledgment of you, then a "hi" and then ACTUAL conversations with you. Eventually, he asked to get a coffee and that's it. you guys have been together for a year now. You always knew about Johnny and Simon being complete besties, I mean who couldn't honestly. they were always giggling like school girls around the base, Johnnys usually fucking around and Simon yelling at him to stop like he's his dad or something. It came as a bit of a surprise when Simon asked to come over while you guys were at home, and Johnny showed up with him. you opened the door to 2 big men with big smiles on their faces. You weren't mad of course, you welcomed them in. "figured you wouldn't mind if soap joined us ya?" and you agreed, you don't mind, now you just have to cook an extra stake. And that's kind of where it started. after a few months of that Simon moved in, meaning he left Johnny and his apartment. johnny was happy for you guys but sad because he felt lonely :(. One day Simon asked if Johnny could move in. Since you have 2 extra bedrooms you figured why not. And sure enough, a month later Johnny was living in your house (not rent-free because living is expensive). You had NO idea what Johnny moving in had in store for you. Honestly, at first, it started off with tame things, you Johnny, and Simon cuddling in bed watching movies.
Now you're being trusted from behind by Simon's fat cock, while Johnny slowly thrusts in your mouth admiring your teary eyes, and swollen lips. Simon's fingers are practically digging into your side knowing you're gonna be bruised tomorrow while Johnny is being soft and gentle. Simons has always been that way tho. As your sweet moans fill the air in your bedroom, Simon pulls out flipping you around like you weigh nothing. "be gentle with my sweet girl Johnny", Simon says to Johnny as he lines his girth up with your hole. now this whole time Johnny has been the most gentle man ever, but the second that first thrust happens it's over for you. He's not going fast, just deep every single thrust his whole length is devoured by you. He watches that white ring of cream form at the bottom of his length as he thrusts deep and slow. and for Simon? his cocks in your mouth as he deep throating you, gently playing with your sensitive clit while Johnny tears you apart :(. Simons has always been aggressive during sex and you love it. not long after Johnnys' deep thrusts continue into your swollen cunt you're coming on him, and Johnny is not stopping for anything, "gonna come for me ye? mhh ya that's a good girl", and while you're busy being fucked in your throat and cunt, simons thrusts in your mouth become faster and deeper, his grunting and breathing increase "that's my sweet girl" "taking me in your throat like this". soon enough his warm come is making its way down your throat as your teary eyes stare up at him, he pulls out as his cock softens and kisses you looking at you. "that's my sweet girl". johnnys thrust getting faster and deeper if possible, "Simon?" "Ya?" "Do you come insid- inside?" "Ya, can come inside Johnny." Quickly johnnys hand goes from holding your leg to his chest to your clit rubbing fastly as hes close to coming. his fast thrusts soon stop as he fills you up with his come. his moans are soft as he pulls out and crashes down on the empty space next to you.
your quickly pulled over to Simon's chest as he kisses your head. "my sweet princess" he whispers. "let's get ye cleaned up ya?' Johnny says kissing your shoulder standing up and starting the shower. While Simon is helping you shower (cause you can't walk) and Johnny getting dressed, Simon can't help but say something. "Johhny you were not gentle with my sweet girl." "msorry LT" Johnny knows he's only just kidding as he walks out of the bathroom. For you on the other hand? Tired. of course Simon gives you the best aftercare as Johnny gets you guys food.
now of course this is a often occurrence, either you Simon, and Johnny, or just Johnny, or just Simon. but you can't complain, your two favorite boys giving you the best sex of your life, why would you complain?
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side notes: I've never written smut before so I hope this is okay, I think it's good enough to post but I will try harder to make it seem more coherent next time. Also juggling the idea of Simon and johnny, I think Simon would definitely come inside you first but I'm too lazy to rewrite :3.
LMK what else you guys would like to read i need ideas fs.
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writerfromshikahr · 6 days ago
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Some random writing. Now back to playing the game. You know the one, with this stupid Antivan man that lives rent free in my head.
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Conversation with a Demon - Lucanis X Rook Fanfic
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Lucanis sat in the quiet of his room, the dim candlelight casting shadows across the walls. Spite’s voice, low and rumbling, lingering on the edges of his thoughts.
“She likes. When I fuck. Noises. She cries. Lucanis!”
His jaw tightened, his hands gripping the armrests of the chair as he let the demon’s words wash over him. He couldn’t deny it—not to himself, not to Spite. There was something raw, profoundly dark, and primal about the way Spite connected with him in those moments. It wasn't just the act itself; it was the sheer intensity of it—the way their shared hunger seemed to amplify and create something far beyond the ordinary.
He exhaled slowly, his body still humming with the memory of the evening. The way she had clung to him, as if he were the only thing tethering her to the world, played over in his mind. Her body had responded beautifully to his touch, his demands, and her voice had carried his name like a prayer.
“Ours.”
Lucanis closed his eyes, leaning his head back against the chair. “She’s not ours, Spite,” he responded quietly, though his voice lacked conviction. “She’s...her own. She chooses to be with us.”
“Chooses. Yes. But wants. From us. Me. Both.”
He couldn’t argue. Rook’s willingness to embrace him, to embrace them, was something he hadn’t expected. And the way she responded when Spite’s influence crept into their joining—it was unlike anything he’d ever experienced. It wasn’t just the thrill of the act, the forbidden nature of it. It was how she surrendered to the darkness, how she trusted him to hold her there, to guide her back when it was over.
“She. Ours.”
The possessiveness in the demon’s voice sent a shiver down Lucanis’s spine, and this time, he didn’t correct them. Instead, he let the thought linger, unspoken but powerful. Rook was theirs, and they...they belonged to her.
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lieutenantfloyd · 9 months ago
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Could you do Beau Cyclone Simpson with wife reader where she surprise him with the news of her pregnancy? Just something fluff and cute. Tag me later! Thanks! :))
Speechless | Cyclone x Reader
Warnings: mentions of pregnancy and anxiety.
Authors note: This request has been living in my head rent free for over a week and has sent me down a rabbit hole of wholesome baby announcement tiktoks lol
Read on AO3
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You and Beau have been together for the better part of a decade, and married for over half of that time. Naturally, you've had plenty of conversations about starting a family throughout your relationship. The conversations confirmed that you were on the same page—"Whatever happens, happens." He'd murmured into the crook of your neck after a bit too much liquor—but always had a dreamy, hypothetical air to them. Even now, looking down at the soft linen onesie, "Hi, Daddy!" board book, and paperwork confirming your upcoming eight-week prenatal appointment, things still didn't feel quite real.
You arrange—and rearrange—the items in the gift basket until your house's silence is interrupted by the sound of the front door closing. You glance at the clock on the bedside table and notice it's only six o'clock in the evening. Typically Beau wouldn't be home this early, but you know that today's doctor's appointment followed by your vague updates afterward had inevitably left him worried.
You'd never known your husband to be a man of grand gestures and even less one to make bold declarations of love. Yet you had learned early on in your relationship that he was a man who shined brightest when in the traditional role of a provider. The fine details—from managing your monthly bills and ensuring that there was a fresh bouquet of flowers on your bedside table each week—was one area that he took serious pride in.
Maybe that's why you didn't argue when he scheduled a doctor's appointment for you in the first place. An appointment you had attended simply to silence the alarm bells going off in the mind of your darling—if not overprotective—husband. Though just as luck would have it, a blood test revealed that what you'd chalked up to be a rather strong bout seasonal allergies was actually the symptoms of your first trimester.
Hearing the clank of his keys against the table downstairs, you take a seat on the bed. Your heart rate picks up as he calls out to you. You tell him you'll be right down as you pull the basket into your lap. With a heavy breath, you give it a final look over before gripping the wooden handles and pacing out of the room.
His back is facing you as you enter the kitchen. He perks up at the sound of your footsteps, but you speak before he has the chance to turn around.
"I have a surprise, but I need you to close your eyes." You say, pushing down the butterflies fluttering wildly in your stomach.
 He hums lowly in response, and you move around him once you see his posture shift as his remaining senses go on high alert. Despite the butterflies, you can't help the smile that breaks out on your face as you place the basket on the kitchen island in front of him.
"Okay, you can open your eyes now."
His blue eyes flicker open and immediately land on you. You give him a soft, reassuring smile and nod downwards. His gaze follows yours, and you watch closely as he takes in what's in front of him. Even after years together, you can't help but melt as a look of graceful concentration floods his handsome features.
As expected, he bypasses the other items in favor of examining the paperwork. Your heart hammers in your chest as his eyes scan the page. The look on his face shifts into one of loving softness as everything clicks into place in his head.
"You're-"
"-pregnant."
The word barely leaves your mouth before he drops the papers and pulls you into his arms. His strong hands run over the small of your back as he places a kiss atop your head. You stay like this—sheltered in each other's embrace—for several beats. Eventually, he pulls away, though only far enough for you to adjust and see the smile blooming on his face. One of his hands departs your back, only to find purchase against your cheek. Another beat passes before he shakes his head as if in disbelief.
"I don't know what to say..." he voices softly.
"Are you happy?"
"I'm over the moon." He smiles.
Your heart screams at you to kiss him, only for him to be faster. Your lips meet gently, though not an ounce of passion is missing from the kiss. Whatever fear and anxiety that you had still been holding onto vanished in an instant. He pulls away and leans down to place a peck against your shoulder, which he does only when falling deep into thought. You raise a hand and run your fingers through his short cropped hair before inquiring about what’s on his mind.
"A to-do list, along with a list of potential nursery paint colors."
His words make your heart swell, but you can’t pass up the opportunity to press his buttons just a little.
"Can we at least make it through our first official doctor's visit before you start drafting schematics?"
"Preparation is the key to success." He states matter-of-factly, only to earn a sarcastic eye roll from you.
"Hey,” he says while poking at your side, “you knew exactly who I was when you married me."
“Isn’t hindsight is 20/20?” You respond playfully.
A crease forms between his eyebrows as he feigns offense, though it’s only seconds before he joins you in laughter. Watching your face light up, he shakes his head softly before capturing your lips for another kiss.
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Taglist: @pear-1206 @marchingicenotes7 @bayisdying @princessofglitterland @bella-law @callsignaries @katesmadness @oliviah-25 @luckyladycreator2 @shakira-sasha @xoxabs88xox @fanboyluvr @alexxavicry @madamemelancholysstuff @paola-carter @barbiewritesstuff @dozcan123 @withakindheartx @nyx2021 @teti-menchon0604 @kmc1989
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penvisions · 7 months ago
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how we pass the time {by the grit of sandpaper}
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Pairing: Jackson! Joel Miller x Patrol Partner! Reader
Summary: Budding conversations and budding feelings go hand in hand as you begin to spend more time with Joel Miller.
Word Count: 1.3k
Warnings: canon typical language, pining, requited unrequited feelings, heart of gold joel, carpenter joel, woodworking joel, artisan joel, patrol partnership, lots of feelings, joel miller's hands need their own warning, joel is so soft in this, pet names, terms of endearment, SET BEFORE THE FIRST CHAPTER
A/N: the lovely @picketniffler sent in an emoji ask for the final chapter celebration and i ran with the idea (it was only supposed to be a drabble but these two live in my head rent free) ♡♡
ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi
“Reading.” You had replied almost instantly, causing a hearty chuckle to sound from somewhere deep in Joel’s chest. His random question of hobbies barely leaving his plush lips. “I spend a lot of time reading, researching.”
“And what exactly do you research?” He didn’t turn from his survey of the trail ahead of him, the trees thick and dense with summer blooms. You had been with him for a few months now, partnered up as Maria begins to reduce her activities, Tommy wanting to remain as close to her as possible in case anything happened. Due in winter, she was about halfway through her pregnancy, something you were trying to fuel with protein and nutrient dense foods. Things you could make to allow for some hormone control and balance. Hence the research. Any and all books on food and cooking found their way to your doorstep, or were delivered to you by hand from the couple themselves, even a few of the other council members should they need to see if had anything of interest for the whole community first.
Your answer wasn’t as instantaneous. Voice caught in your throat as you took in the rather picturesque view of the man’s broad body atop his trusty stead trotting slowly up ahead of you. His shoulders were swathed in a denim button up, fabric taut over the planes of his shoulder blades, allowing you to see how his back tensed and clenched as Kiana, his favored brown and white patterned horse, tackled the overgrown trail. His hair was shorter, as if he had tried to curb the prevalent heat but it only made the disheveled curls his hair had been in begin to show themselves around the nape of his neck. Sweat beaded up and dampened the denim, no doubt even more noticeable on the tank top or undershirt he donned underneath.
But you hadn’t been so modest today, decked out in a pair of jeans and tank top. The sleeveless top allowed for your arms to feel the embrace of the sun, not quite smoldering but still sweltering. Sweat was surly discoloring the pale blue of it, the tone matching Joel’s attire. He had teased you over it when he approached the stables, you already having prepared the horses for the early morning route. But the grin with his tongue between his teeth had told you had hadn’t really minded, and maybe he had even liked that you had unconsciously matching him…
“Olive?” He turned to you know, one thick brow raised in question. “Heat got ya?”
“No, sorry. Just, taking in the views.”
“Views are pretty good.” His eyes moved over your body, taking in the way the strap of the shotgun was nestled over your chest, the collar of your top low. The shade provided by the wide brimmed hat you favored allowed for your eyes to remain hidden from him, though you were sure he could’ve felt the weight of your staring.
“You said you do a lot of research?” You shook the mental image of you both sprawled out on your couch, you with a book in your hands and a notebook to scrawl notations, him with another or even just content with something playing brightly across the room on your small television. He was so…alluring. His quiet demeanor, his willingness to do what he could to earn his keep in the community, his skills of helping Tommy and the scant crew with construction and home repairs. He had been a there since spring, a part of your life since then. Unwilling to imitate the rest of the town as he noticed how they either ignored your presence or gave you tight lipped smiles in response to your scarce interactions. He didn’t really see you much around town, something you had admitted to not doing much, leaving your house. He must’ve sensed the shift in your mood when he had asked why, moving his focus onto something else.
“Oh! Y-yes, research. O-on the nutrient offerings of food, of how certain crops can be boosted through simple scientific fixes, I work in the gardens a lot, have one in my own backyard.”
“I been reading a lot lately myself.” He turned back to face forward, the column of his neck glistening with a light sheen of sweat. “Also been dabblin’ in woodworking.”
“That’s pre-pretty cool. What made you interested in that, if I may ask?” Silent for a beat, his eyes tracing the way a long limb up ahead shook. Searching for anything that would signal another soul this far into the forest, or if it was just a small animal scurrying as they foraged or fled at the gentle rise and fall of your voices as you shared with one another.
But he was also thinking…picturing you sat beside him in his newly set up work room in his home. The light woodsy, floral scent you seemed to have naturally encompassing him as you watch him walk you through carving and painting the small figures he had begun to sooth his aching hands with. Turning to you, a smile so soft you often aimed at him in full bloom as you relished in sharing his space and the smooth baritone of his voice. He knew you liked it, how it was low and gravely sometimes in the early morning. Coffee smoothing the edges of his sleep and shifting it to velvet that prompted more conversation on the days your eyes dilated upon his arrival at the stables.
“Always so sweet with your questions. Thought we were passed that, I’ll talk with ya. About anything.”
“I really appreciate that, Joel.” You tightened the grip of your hands around the reigns. Thinking about how he didn’t shy away from you like most people, even if he was notoriously hard to connect with when he was out and about in town. So busy at all hours of the day, returning to his home, his and Ellie’s home well into the evening nearly every day. You only noticed because his street was just beyond yours, his large build passing by your windows as you made dinner each night. The urge to call out your open window and offer him a serving always on the tip of your tongue. “It…it means a lo-lot to me.”
“I like our conversations, sweetheart. One of the easiest people to talk to.”
Your breath hitched and you hoped he hadn’t heard it, but the minute swivel of his head to the left told you he had despite his bad hearing in the other. He had only ever called you by your nickname. He only ever called people by the names handed to him along with their introduction. Your skin tingled, pride at earning such an endearment from the man making your head swim and your mind go blank.
“Would love to show you the figurines I make sometime, started it as a way to curb the pain in my aching hands but it’s actually pretty calming.”
“Ye-yeah, I get that. Zone out and create something.”
“Exactly, you got it just right, sweetheart.”
There it was again, the new reference and you felt heat rise up from where it came to live in your chest and up the column of your neck. You…you wouldn’t mind hearing it more or even the invitation to see his home, his work. The niggling feeling of the town taking the occurrence and fueling the fires of gossip surrounding you springing up and tainting the moment. You frowned, not liking that the mere possibility of talk deterred you from the man’s kindness.  
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taglist: @joelsgreys @morning-star-joy @sawymredfox @pascalpvnk @littlemisspascal @merz-8 @orcasoul @sabmat @dreamingofleon
@keylimebeag @picassopedro @tuquoquebrute @alejaa-a @jessthebaker @joeloverture @joelscruff @swiftispunk @tightjeansjavi @undercoverpena @corazondebeskar @honeyedmiller @novas-dreamworld @slugz-writes-shit @hiroikegawa @dugiioh @persephone-girl @furiousmushroom @copperhalfcent @lizlil @hiddenbabynyc @part2joelmiller @formulafun @noisynightmarepoetry @sofiparallel @blueberrylemon7 @maryrhodalouandted @joelsdagger @fluff-lover
@communism-bitches @slugz-writes-shit @mosssbawls @vie-is-punk
@ohhellotherebumblebee @koshkaj-blog @r4vens-cl4ws @picketniffler @joeldjarin
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ch0k3herwithaseaview · 7 months ago
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@jegulus-microfic | april 18 sock | words: 585
tw: slight nfsw, walking in on someone, swearing
“Stop leaving your socks all over the place!” Sirius heard from the first floor.
“Stop being a dick; they’re on my side of the room!”
“Oh, trust me, I can be worse!” And then there was a loud thud, probably Regulus throwing something at James to prove that he could indeed be worse.
Sirius sighed, taking a sip of his coffee. It had been like that since the beginning of the holidays, because everyone forgot to rent a place with six rooms instead of five, so that James and Regulus could sleep separately. When the two of them found out, they reacted in two different ways: James didn’t mind (It’s not like we’ll be spending a lot of time here); Regulus, on the other hand, threw a tantrum like a five-year-old (I can’t share a bed with this asshole for the next six weeks). Unfortunately, there was no other way, since neither of them would sacrifice a comfortable bed to sleep on a couch in the living room. So for the past two weeks, all ten of them were doomed to listen to the senseless arguments the two others provided.
They were all getting tired of it—they came to Italy to rest, not to feel like children while their parents were getting divorced.
“I swear to god, if they don’t stop until tomorrow, at least one of them won’t come back to London,” Barty grumbled, handing a cup of orange juice to each one of his boyfriends. The girls hummed in agreement.
They sat at the big table in the kitchen, having breakfast. Dorcas and Marlene listed all the places they could go to today, while Lily and Pandora were serving more pancakes and scrambled eggs.
“I think the gallery and chapel sound the best,” commented Mary, throwing a grape at Peter, which he caught with his teeth.
After that, they sat in a comfortable silence, chewing on their respective meals.
The silence was almost… too comfortable.
“Do you think they killed each other?” Sirius asked, breaking the moment of peace.
“Who cares? At least they’re quiet,” Evan replied, shoving another forkful of eggs into his mouth.
Sirius turned to Remus, starting a silent conversation. After a few seconds, his boyfriend nodded and stood up, with Sirius following suit. They went upstairs, stopping in front of blue door. From behind them came quiet gasps and muffled words neither of them could understand.
The black-haired man knocked at the door gently. “Reggie? Prongs? Are you guys okay?” When, after nearly a minute, there was still no answer, he decided to enter the room.
“Guys, are you—what the fuck?” He was expecting everything: blood all over the place, black eyes, broken bones, shattered windows—everything except James holding one hand on Regulus’ throat, the other on his dick, his own probably inside Sirius' little brother.
All four of them froze, staring at each other with wide eyes, until the youngest finally grabbed the blanket laid in front of him, covering himself and James.
“Why the fuck would you come in without being allowed?” Regulus hissed.
“We thought you were dead,” Sirius answered, unnaturally calm. “I just wanted to check if you were alright.”
“Well, you know now, so get out,” the younger Black replied, making a dismissive gesture with his free hand. Sirius didn’t need much convincing to do so.
When Remus closed the door behind them, the shorter man turned to him.
“You know Moony,” he said, staring blankly. “I think I need to bleach my brain.”
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scara-meow-che · 2 years ago
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Dainsleif's dick being infused with abyss energy(?) like his arm-
Like yea Tartaglia's last form's dick, yeah Ito's oni dick, yeah zhongli's dragoon dick,but what of Dain???? That shit must be magical 😩
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⦿ 𝗡𝗢𝗪 𝗟𝗜𝗩𝗘 ┃ eyes up here princess with dainsleif
CW. NSFW (MDNI), big dick! dain, fem! reader, use of words (princess), established relationship, teasing, first-time sex, implied oral, sex w/out penetration (thigh job and dick job? is that even a thing? idk, just read it to find out), dirty talk, magical dick (i am NOT sorry), mention of abyss princess lumine
AN. the new archon quest 🧍🏻‍♀️ it felt like a fever dream and it's a whole ass year again before we get to see this man so i am making it my mission to let him and his abyss-energy-fused dick live in my mind rent-free. also, if the anon that sent me this is still here to witness me posting this, hello :D this took me by surprise bcs i planned it to be short but here we are ig
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it wasn't every day that you get dain's attention all to yourself.
you would often see him somewhere, busy, as always. sometimes, you would find yourself conversing with a few locals when dain tries to do things on his own as he would reason out that it's for your own safety. or you'd be up and about some part of the region searching for the abyss princess as to what he currently puts as his top priority.
these repeating turn of events would, most of the time, make you question whether you really matter to him seeing as he's always invested in things unrelated to you or what interests you. you don't ask too much from him but sometimes, a little attention would be nice, or have him answer all the questions that run inside your head.
yet, when dain would see that familiar expression painting your face as you make your bed for the night, he would put everything on hold and indulge more in what you'd request. he does make up for you, well, you have no complaints when he does because he'd always be there in a heartbeat for every beck and call.
hence why you're laid out on your bed, legs spread out with him toying with your already sore clit.
the idea of having sex had never once danced in between each conversation you'd have with dain. you'd rather spend the time to catch up on each other's day and sort out a route to where you both want to go next. it never fazed you when some people asked how your relationship with dain is going, not even bothered when some old women from liyue dramatically gasped as you've never been that intimate with your lover.
as the tension builds up throughout the months of overhearing people gossiping about their partners or be the victim of a drunk local telling you the tale of their sexual escapades, it draws out some images in your head. would dain be like the same as those oni's you've heard about? or have an impressive length similar to this one tale about a dragon lord? heck, would he have a dick that grows unrealistically big just like with the harbinger that you've heard about?
but who fucking cares anyway? you're about to get the real deal right now.
"what a curious mind you have there, princess." dain mindlessly mused as he press soft kisses along your thighs, leaving you breathless as he presses himself closer to your aching core. you can feel the heat from the big hard tent on his pants as he rubs himself to the dampness of your cunt. "i thought that eating you out could already satiate your pretty little head but you still want... what? what is it that you want from me again?"
he taunts, amused when he hears a cry from your disheveled form. "ah, didn't i say to tell me if you want something?"
"but it's embarrassing to say it!" you can't even fully reason out how humiliating it is for you to casually ask him that you want to see his dick as you let out another moan when he lightly thrusts his clothed cock on your core. he doesn't even let up, continuing his cruel pace in rubbing his aching dick on your already sensitive clit.
"p-please! i just, a-ah, want to see your d-dick!"
"say what again, princess?"
having enough of his teasing, you went to give your best in bending your body just to reach the big tent on his pants. "i want to see your dick dain and... i want you to fuck me, please."
you can feel a rush of heat all over your skin, your eyes quickly darting to the side to avoid dain's amused pair. a chuckle was all you heard before you felt his hands gently laying you down back to bed. in response to his pleased titter, you scoffed and gave him a quick glare.
"i'm sorry but you're just irresistible when you're so honest with me." he paused as he takes a sharp intake of air when he pulls out his leaking cock from the confines of his pants.
your eyes widen at the sight. no, it's not because he's as big as what you heard like the one of an oni or he has that delicious curve like that of the dragon cock but it's because the hue is unlike any other, the dark blue pulses as beads of white litters on the tip. fuck, when dain gave his dick a quick stroke, you can see how it grew a bit larger in his palm.
you drool just by imagining how it would feel inside of you.
"eyes up here, princess." he gave your thighs a light smack, pulling your attention back up before you felt the cockhead rubbing so gingerly on your little nub, smearing your cum on your lower lips.
"you're so eager for me, huh?" he can feel you trembling the more he pays attention to your aching core, gliding the head back and forth your lower lips, enough to push the head inside your hole but easy for him to just pull right back out. he's testing out the waters, waiting for more of your reactions and he could only see you enjoying yourself being please with the tip of his dick.
"just look at you, so wet and ready for me." and you are, feeling your arousal pool and spill right out of your needy hole while dain keeps making a mess out of it. your hips desperately buck right up, chasing for the head but he kept you pinned down on the soft mattress as he continues teasing you.
"dain, please, want to feel more of you." your hand went to grab his arms, giving it a light squeeze that you knew would get him to listen to you.
but it did the complete opposite.
"didn't you say that you want to see my dick?"
before you could argue back, dain had gently straightened both your legs upward, his strong arms locking you in place before pushing the dark blue cockhead in between your thighs. "been wanting to do this for so long," he uttered with a low groan, his body shivering when he thrusts his cock in the middle of your soft flesh, the rushed and hasty movements of the head prods at your clit. "you look so pretty like this, just letting me use you."
you gasped for air when he purposely prods at your puckering hole, angling his abyss-energy-fused cock to dive in and out of your thighs. your eyes caught a glimpse of how each streak of white glow, the nerves pulsing as he ruts himself so needily on you.
"so keep your pretty eyes on me and maybe, if you managed to do so, i might just give you what you want."
and you did, you desperately tried your best to keep looking at dain and just watching how he use your thighs to get off. it was a rare sight to see dain lose himself, tottering over the warmth and softness that covers his dick.
at first, he was scared that he might scare you off, thinking how unusual his cock looks. compared to what he thought you'd prefer to see in between your legs, about to rail the innocence out of you, his was far off the scales.
but when he saw your eyes almost sparkled when he pulled out his dick, hands so damn eager to touch him, and both your lips spilling out how much you want more of him just sends him over the edge. his pace quickened the more he stares at your needy form, enjoying the way your eyes fluttered close whenever he brushed against your hole before proceeding in sliding his cock back on your thighs.
"i'm so close, fuck, you feel so good 'round me like this, princess." and fuck, yes, you can feel more of his pre-cum ooze around the head and coats more of your already slick skin. it felt so dirty, so filthy to watch him fuck himself with your thighs and you felt dirtier when you were enjoying how his large dick, fused with the same abyss energy as his arm, slides back and forth your thighs.
"cum for me please," you whispered, urging your lover to release his load on your skin. within seconds, dain stopped his thrusts as he buried his cock between your legs, pressing it tighter as he shoots his load on your flesh, slowly having the thick globs of his cum drip down on your core.
while dain goes to steady his breathing, you went to open up your legs to see how much cum had covered your body, the scent of sex causing your head to fizzle out that you had nothing in your mind but the need to see his dick filling you up.
dainsleif was shocked when you went to reach out for his cock, the keenness in your eyes captivating as you focused on his dick.
"wanna see how it looks as you fuck me." your request came like a cry, a whimper of desperation. and you can feel the way dain's dick twitched on your hand.
you're going to be the death of him.
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⠀⠀scara-meow-che © 2023 ┃ do not copy, modify, or repost ANY of my content
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eatyourmaker · 3 months ago
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How about some burningholysacrilege if you have time ^^
I am definitely not the person that came up with that ship trust /silly
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I just had to do this one, but I didn't know how to tackle it, so I just drew a snippit of a long going rp I have going on.
I'm glad you started publicly shipping these 3, bc I've been privately shipping them for around the same time I've shipped FieryFaith, but I was too anxious to even draw them let alone share any art 👉🏾👈🏾
While I'm here lemme share some hcs I've accumulated throughout the duration of these 3 living in my head rent-free
Hcs under the cut
(TWO OF THE HCS ARE SUGGESTIVE, I will mark them so you can skip them)
1. Ignacio and Skiddad were a thing before Ignacio got together with Gregor. They were always an open relationship though, so both parties were free to explore and experiment with others. At the end of the day though they'd do their own independent things, they knew they would always be together. They belong together. They're soulmates. Bonded for eternity, and it didn't matter what would happen, they would always find their way back eachother.
2. The aforementioned point is why Gregor entering the picture was really confusing for Ignacio at first. Skiddad is the one. So how could there ever be another? In my hc Skiddad died for a brief period of time and then was resurrected. This period of time is when Ignacio got together with Gregor. After the whole enemies to lovers type shit happened, he was confused by how well he was treated— how at home he felt with Gregor. It was the same feeling of safety he got from being by Skiddad's side. Very confusing, especially during his time of grief. Eventually he caved to loneliness and fell into Gregor's warm embrace.
3. When Skiddad came back Ignacio felt overwhelming anxiety about the two meeting. You know what the cult does to priests. But Skiddad is much more composed as calculating than lower ranking members. He wouldn't kill Gregor, especially if his soul mate has feelings for him. He'd simply convert him instead. It may seem crazy, but indoctrination is a slow process to begin with, and I hc that Skiddad also has a Christian background before the cult. With coming from the same systems of beliefs, and having the same interest in Ignacio's health and safety, conversion would be a cinch. He doesn't mind Gregor being a permanent addition to the relationship if it makes Ignacio happy.
okay now onto some some lighter hcs
4. Ignacio gets smothered with affection from both Skiddad and Gregor.
5. Gregor is probably the only person who could ever fluster Skiddad. Unprompted and genuine kindness is not something he's used to. Skiddad slowly becomes aware of why Ignacio likes his priest so much.
6. (SUGGESTIVE) Skiddad has definitely gotten a kick out of teasingly calling Gregor "father". Gregor praying that he don't go to hell good lord.
7. (SUGGESTIVE) Skiddad- Top | Ignacio- Switch | Gregor- Bottom/Service Top, and that's that on that ✋🏾
8. Skiddad tries to relate to Gregor a lot under the guise of "being a pastor too," which he's trying to use to desensitize him to the idea of the cult.
9. Skiddad and Gregor were both raised in a chruch
10. Skiddad and Gregor both speak Latin
11. Skiddad and Ignacio both speak Spanish
12. English is Skiddad's third language
13. Skiddad calls Ignacio "starlight" and Gregor "Amate" (love). Gregor calls Ignacio "Spitfire" and Skiddad "angel eyes". Ignacio is too embarrassed to call either anything besides basic terms of endearment NDNDNDN
Ok lemme end there, there's more but I've written literally so much.
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vlrspace · 1 year ago
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possessive, midoriya x reader
wc: 1.6K
part two, part three
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there are three times where midoriya showed you his possessive, jealous and territorial side, they live in your mind rent free.
not that he wouldn’t touch you or anything, but these three times were ones you haven’t expected of the shy boy, who became tall, sturdy and broad over the years. midoriya hesitated to take your hand or give you a kiss on many occasions, fearing of making you uncomfortable or hurting you. it was never the case when you felt his fingers brush against your skin, his touches were always tender, but he remained a gentleman even now, half a year into the relationship.
sure, midoriya can become bold and confident, like throwing an arm around your shoulder around school, kissing you in empty hallways and sneaking into your room after curfew. these were already hot and daring from midoriya, so the first time it happened, your gentle and timid boyfriend showed everyone his possessive side, you were beyond stunned.
a trip to the mall became a monthly event for your class, someone was always running out of something, needing new clothes or had to buy the latest video game. which is why you all agreed to split up because they would surely kick you out of the mall if twenty people just stepped into an already crowded shop. the girls dragged you away from midoriya’s side, who at first didn’t understand why your hand has been ripped from his, but when you gave him a reassuring smile and a wave, he seemed to visibly relax.
it was a tiring process of trying on many different types of clothes and accessories. your friends lost you at one of the drug stores mentally because your brain just couldn’t handle the many different things anymore so when jiro looked at you with the same interest in her eyes, you two agreed that this is how kaminari must feel when he’s jammed.
you two ended up standing outside at the last shop, keeping in contact with the boys, so you can all go and grab lunch together. midoriya asked if you wanted him to meet you before lunch but you kindly declined, not wanting to upset your friends for ruining your girls time. it was surprising that even though, you spent more than 15 minutes waiting for them to exit the shop, that you arrived to the food court first. you and momo decided to stay back at your table while the girls went ahead to buy their lunch.
the conversation between you and momo went flawlessly, you felt perfectly content and comfortable as the two of you stood opposite of each other. however, the pleasant atmosphere disappeared when a boy, around your age or a bit older, slid in between you and momo, interrupting your conversation to start a new one with you.
“oh my, an angel sent from heaven. are you free later honey?” his voice was sickly sweet and the amount of cologne reeked off him so much that you had to stop yourself from gagging.
“leave me alone” you mumbled, trying to move away from him, even if he was shorter and less toned than your boyfriend, you still felt uncomfortable and anxious about the whole situation already.
“awh sweetheart, no need to play hard to get” he smirked, taking a step closer to you before leaning closer to your face “i’d treat you real nice, i promise” his tone sounded so fake, you started to feel sick as he grabbed your arm. you hadn’t had the chance to respond as you took a step back to put some space between you two, trying to free yourself from his grip, your back hitting a hard chest, a familiar hand wrapping itself over your waist.
unbeknownst to you, midoriya entered the food court with the boys the second this guy walked up to you. now midoriya doesn’t blame him, you’re a beautiful woman, he’s mesmerised every time he looks at you and he isn’t surprised that you catch the eyes of many. unfortunately to everyone else, you belong to him and him only.
midoriya started to walk towards you before the others could hold him back, aware of the destruction one for all could do when the green haired male is angry. since the boy in front of you hid momo behind him, you haven’t seen the way her eyes flickered behind you two, wide and shocked to see midoriya’s expression. your friends are used to midoriya’s timidity around you, you’re often louder and more confident while he follows you around like a huge lovesick puppy. it’s usually very funny how his larger frame, strong and muscular, becomes mushy when you’re around.
so this was new to everyone, the way his usual bright eyes were dark and sharp, jaw tight as his face was focused on the scumbag in front of him, standing at 6”3, muscles all tense, midoriya truly looked terrifying.
“she’s already taken” midoriya’s voice comes out deep, grumbling at the boy in front of you two, his arm tightly holding you close to him. if the situation was different, you know you would throw yourself at him, because damn, this side of him was so hot.
it’s funny to see the way the boy’s face in front of you changed within seconds. at first, you can tell that he wanted to come up with something to make himself look better, but as he took in the face above him, he seemed to realise that he’s no match for midoriya. it was hard to not recognise the future symbol of peace for anyone nowadays, but this asshole was 5 foot something, and stood nothing against those muscles midoriya gained over the years.
“i’m sorry” the boy stammered, looking quite embarrassed and avoided midoriya’s gaze, who seemed to press you more against him, so unless he spun you around to face him, you’re stuck like this. “i uh-i didn’t know” his words came out swiftly and tone very shaky, he finally lets go of your arm and you let it fall beside you, not daring to move.
todoroki comes up to stand next momo, kirishima and iida following behind, standing next to midoriya to make sure no punches are thrown. fortunately, nothing happens as midoriya sends a glare towards the boy, before moving you by the waist and starts leading you away from the table.
“are you okay? he didn’t hurt you, right?” midoriya’s voice is slightly strained from the sudden anger he felt from a few minutes ago, his hand stroking your waist and your side and presses his lips against the crown of your head.
“no, no i’m okay. you arrived just at the right time” you quietly said, a little bit shaken up from the events and shocked by midoriya’s behaviour.
“let’s get something to eat, yeah? what would you like? it’s my treat baby” your boyfriends cheery mood is starting to come back, even if his hold on you is still a little tight. you don’t see a point in arguing with him over about the payment of your lunch because you know that he won’t let you pay either way.
when the two of you return back to the table, everyone is already eating, so they are making space for the two of and you both join in. momo asks you right away if you’re okay and apologises to you for not being able to do anything.
“don’t worry momo! “you reassure her with a warm smile as you continue on eating your sushi.
“still, i feel bad! i should’ve said something” her voice sounded light as her eyes began to tear up. bless her, you think, she’s so kind hearted, so you stand up from your chair and hug her from behind, your face smushed with hers and she lets out an airy giggle and puts a hand on your arms for comfort.
“oh my god, let me take a picture! you two are so cute!!!” mina practically screams out loud, causing everyone to laugh around you. momo and you smile for the picture and you know it turned out rather cute.
you walk back to your seat next to midoriya, who now fully calmed down and grins at you as you sit down “besides, mr. number one here saved the day again” you add jokingly, leaning against midoriya’s chest as he puts an arm around your shoulders. “never knew you could be so possessive izu” you whisper to him and his cheeks flush red, causing you to giggle.
“can we talk about how scary izuku looked, like i’ve never seen him so terrifying before unless he’s in a fight” kaminari says with sero and mineta nodding next to him, discussing how they never want to make midoriya mad again because they nearly shitted themselves.
“like sure, katsuki can be very intimidating, but holy shit dude, that was another level” kirishima adds, looking at midoriya with a toothy grin to make sure he doesn’t take it as an offence, which midoriya actually takes as a praise (in his mind).
“i don’t like it when someone hurts people i care about” the green haired man replies with a small smile, gently squeezing your shoulder and you smile to yourself from how safe you feel in his arms. “and no one messes with what’s mine” the last bit came out quite quietly, only heard by you as he tucked his face in your hair, and it was your turn to sit with a flushed face, making midoriya smirk.
the rest of the day went by, midoriya didn’t let you out of his sight and held your hand the whole way around.
oh lord, if only you knew this was just the mild level of midoriya’s boldness.
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sourbinnie · 1 year ago
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you lose your way | chan x gn!reader angst + fluff | just take my hand
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chan didn't think he deserved your love at all. he thought he was destined to be alone forever but then het met you and he saw a bright future ahead of him, one that he never imagined. he felt completely and utterly comfortable being with you but the awful insecurity of not being enough or not doing showing the love he thinks you deserve haunted him. it felt like a shadow above him that followed at all times when he was at work, thinking that you got home from your job and you were all alone. 
why couldn't he be the boyfriend you deserved? why couldn't he just put in the effort and be there for you? always stuck somewhere else. with every comeback, every promotion, every song, every dance you were lingering on his mind there all alone. he was so exhausted every time he set foot in your shared apartment and he did not expect you to wait up for him but you always did. 
at one point he even felt like he had to end things because this wasn't healthy for either of you but what would he do without you? no motivation, no reason to continue a path that he didn't want to even think of. he felt trapped like he knew you were doing this out of kindness but why would you do that for nothing in return? the last time he kissed you properly was like a month ago.
maybe this was a signal for him to stop, to actually look around him and think of what he was doing. yet he always went back to work, he just couldn't be stopped from recording another track, writing lyrics (mostly about you) and practicing even more than what his body could take. 
"chris?" your voice got him out of his daydream/nightmare and he looked at you. you knew the password for his studio so he wasn't surprised about that but you looked like you just got out of work. "it's kinda late i'm sorry if i'm bothering but i wanted to know if you wanted to go home with me?".
"i don't know if i can love." he sighed as he looked back at his laptop again, writer's block was his biggest enemy. he knew he had the hability to put on some heart wrecking lyrics yet nothing was coming to mind. again another signal to stop maybe. "you can go home if you want and you don't have to stay up, i know you're tired."
"i don't mind waiting for you, you always carry me to bed anyways." you said, giving him a little smile as you sat down next to him. "can we talk baby?" you asked and if he wasn't scared before, he surely was now.
he expected this conversation to lead to the worst. he expected for you to leave him right then and there, after all he did not put effort at all into your relationship even if you were all he could think about. even if you lived in his mind rent free 24/7, he knew he would never be the boyfriend you were meant to have.
"yeah of course." he said as he looked at you, you grabbed his hands and that's where he felt everything was gonna go down. 
"you know you can talk to me, right? it's been a long time since we've had a proper conversation. i don't mind it really, i know you're busy but if it's too much you can always talk to me. i'll always have your back and i'll always hold your hand when you need me the most christopher." you said in a serious tone but with the kindest way. he couldn't help but feel the tears cloud his vision as he heard your words. "i believe in you and i love you. i know this is your way of proving your worth but you're much more than your job."
he wiped his eyes as he didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of you. he felt like he was gonna choke on his tears anytime soon but he took a deep breath and looked at you again, nodding. 
"i know. it's just been a lot lately and i know you deserve better." he said and you shook your head. "i know you're gonna say you're fine with it but how can you be fine with me not being there for you?"
"it's your job chris, i understand. you love it here and i love that you're passionate about it." you clearly said as you played with his hands and gave him another warm smile. "what kind of significant other would i be if i didn't let you enjoy what you have? it was your dream to be here." 
"but is it too much? i feel like i don't show you the love you deserve. i feel like i'm all you don't deserve." he said letting his feelings out once and for all. 
"there's no love i deserve that's not yours. i just want what you give me at the end of the day." you said, kissing his cheek and hugging him so he could let all the tears he needed out. "i know you're lost but i'm not letting go. i'm never gonna let go of you 'cause you're the only one."
the words pierced through his heart as he sighed and let all the tears fall from his eyes when you embraced him. he didn't feel okay, he knew he wasn't okay but something about you saying you're gonna be there for him forever just eased his heart. it eased his pain and sorrow as didn't want to let go of the hug because it was all he needed at the end of the day. for you to be there for him in such a way, meant the world to him.
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dbnightingale24 · 9 months ago
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Fog In The Mind, Desire In The Heart
A Dark Curtis Everett Love Story
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Surprise! I decided to take a small break from the three novels I'm writing (I promise that your updates are coming!!), and finish the damn Curtis Everett one shot I promised you guys years ago. It may take me forever to get to the point, but I do eventually get there, in my defense. Anywho, this is a lot shorter than what you all are used to, but I hope you all enjoy it just the same! As always, thanks to the amazing @fuckingbyefor the moodboard! Here we go!
Word Count: 9911 (yes, you read that correctly)
Warnings: SMUT (MINORS DNI 18+), Slight Snowpiercer AU, Slight Age Gap between Edgar and Reader (work with me people), Curtis Everett, Daddy Kink, Non Con/Dub Con, Drinking, Plotting, Self Hate, Loathing, Betrayal, Swearing, Angst, Mild Violence, Anger, Pining...I think that's it?
Songs That Inspired This Story: I'd Walk Through Fire For You, Just Let Me Adore You
Summary: Everyone stuck in the tail section dreamed of a better life for themselves. Everyone except for Curtis. For him, his better life would start when you were happy and by his side, no matter who he had to force out of the way.
~~
I do not give consent/permission for my stories/works to be posted/published elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior, this is for entertainment purposes only.
~~
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~~
For as much as you hate Curtis, he lives rent free in your head all day. You sit at the bar that Nam so lovingly bar tends day in and day out, listening in and out of the conversation he makes almost every night.
“Right now isn’t the time, but you’ll see...the world will be livable again. Maybe another year or so, but we’ll be able to get off of this fucking train,” he tells you tonight, an echo of the same thing he’s been saying every night for the last two years.
“What did Curtis say?” you snicker, putting your empty glass down as he reaches for your favorite poison: whiskey.
“He’s busy,” Nam simply shrugs, refilling your glass with ice and the dark brown liquid.
“When isn’t he?”
“Y/N, you know what happened to Edgar-”
“He’s gone, Nam,” you snap unintentionally. “Whatever the hell Curtis meant to happen, didn’t. Edgar has been dead for two years and all the while we wait for the great Curtis Everett to come up with a fucking plan to make all of this not seem so shit as it is,” you sigh before downing your drink.
Your reasons for hating Curtis are very simple and clear for everyone to understand.
Everyone except Curtis.
You remember when you first boarded onto the stupid train that “saved” your life. You remember them ripping you away from your Mother, who sacrificed herself so you could have a chance at life, and her promising you that she’d meet up with you later on in the train.
She never did.
You know she only did it because she knew it was the only way you’d board the train, but the anger feel towards her never leaves.
It never has and it never will. 
That was the first time you saw him.
You were put into a group of young teenage girls, a place you barely belonged since you were almost 17, and you felt a pair of eyes on you. 
It’s not like that was uncommon, but it didn’t help anything. In fact, as time went on, on the train, you found that a lot of men had their eyes on you. You were beautiful, soft spoken but also opinionated, and kind. You were so understanding and helpful, unlike almost everyone else on the train who gave up hope as soon as the doors closed.
They all did their best to make you notice them, Curtis more than most, but you were more than happy to keep to yourself. 
At least, that’s until Edgar came of age. While he was younger than you by a few years, he was persistent and the only one who could truly make you smile and laugh. For as tense and gloomy as things could be, Edgar always found a way to soften everything. The first few times he asked you out (well, too hangout on his bed), you said no because of the age difference. 
“Who cares?” he laughed as he followed you to the little hospital section they had set up in one of the train cars.
“Clearly I do!”
“It’s not that bad!”
“Edgar-”
“What could it hurt? We’ll split a protein block, a cup of water, talk a bit, and I’ll walk you back to your bunk. It’ll be fun!”
“Edgar-”
“You know you want to, I see it in your eyes.”
“No Edgar,” you smiled softly before making your way to the children’s bunks to read them a story.
“You’ll say yes, you’ll see!” he called with a soft smile, before he turned and made his way back to his bunk.
After that, he didn’t let up. He asked almost every day until you finally caved and said yes. From that moment on, you two inseparable (after you both finished your daily chores). You loved to spend time reading to the children and he was more than happy to accompany you. The kids loved him anyway.
“What do you think about us having one?” Edgar asked one night as you two laid together after sex.
“Having one what?”
“Child?”
“Fuck no!”
“Shh,” he laughed softly, stroking your hair. “Why not?”
“You can’t be serious, babe. We live on a fucking train, the shittiest part of the train I might add, the world is frozen, the front end comes and randomly takes children whenever they please-”
“It won’t always be like this, plus, Curtis has a plan.”
“Oh? What plan is that?” you scoffed
Edgar had always been Curtis’ biggest supporter.
“Why don’t you believe in him?”
“It’s not that I don’t believe in him, but I’m not willing to follow blindly behind him. Everyone else is, and I just don’t see a reason to,” you shrugged.
“Y/N-”
“You asked me a question and I gave you an answer. It’s not my fault that you don’t like the answer, baby.”
Curtis had always been the one thing that got in the way of your relationship with Edgar. Edgar would willingly follow Curtis, no matter what he said or what he did, and you weren’t buying into any of it. Sure, Curtis seemed nice enough and he was kind when he wanted to be, but there was also a silent anger to him. A silent anger that always seemed like it could go off at any time. 
Plus, it’s not exactly like he was thrilled when you and Edgar started seeing each other. Once again, a lot of the men weren’t, but everyone could see how happy you were. How well you and Edgar fit together. Curtis, on the other hand, rolled his eyes whenever he saw the two of you together. 
“Why don’t you come and help us tonight? You always have an idea-”
“No,” you laughed and Edgar scowled. “That’s your thing, not mine.”
“If you’d come, you’d see there’s nothing to hate about-”“I don’t hate Curtis!” you snapped softly and he rolled his eyes, “I just...something isn’t right there. You all just follow and believe everything that he says, and that’s not okay.”
“You always find a reason to doubt him and hes never given you a reason to.”
“And hes never given you a reason to trust him so much!”
“I’m not having another argument about this-”
“Good, because I’m tired of him somehow always becoming the center of our relationship.”
“Y/N-”
“You’re gonna be late. Go.”
You hated arguing so much with him about Curtis, but he didn’t know the things that you knew about him. Besides the fact that his eyes always lingered on you for far much longer than they should have, you knew about the things that Edgar was too young to remember. You knew what happened to his Mother, you knew what almost happened to Edgar, and you knew that Curtis would stop at nothing to get what he wanted.
Besides, by the way he watched you like you were his prey, you knew he’d stop at nothing to get you. So, when it was finally time for the “great uprising” you begged Edgar to stay behind with you.
“We’ve spent too long planning and plotting for me to stay behind-”
“You can stay with me!” you sobbed and he shook his head.
“Trust me! Believe in me! I can do this!”
“Edgar-”
“We’ll have a future, children, space-”
“I just want you! Please-”
“I’ll come back to you and you’ll see. I promise you, it’ll be okay. I love you.”
That was the last time you saw him alive.
When word got back to you how he’d been killed, and who let it happen, something inside you snapped. You became violent, you lost all patience, you attacked anyone who got in your way as you started on your own journey to the front, and you led everyone who had stayed behind to the front of the train with you. By the time you got there, Wilford had been killed and Curtis was the new leader. Of course, no one noticed all of the changes in Curtis’ attitude, as if you all owed him your lives, because he’d apparently made your lives better. He made changes that made years of suffering finally seem like they had been worth something. 
Everyone except you.
“Curtis wants to see you,” one of the girls tells you as she approaches the bar. 
Sansa, who’s his regular girl. 
“Just give him time,” Nam repeats softly, filling your glass one last time. 
You roll your eyes and down your drink before you follow Sansa to the very front of the train.
This isn’t the first time you’ve been called to his bedroom. Hell, it isn’t even the 100th time. Not long after the battle ended and changes were made, Curtis Everette made it very well known to everyone on the train, that you are his absolute favorite. Not so much with his words, but with his actions. He’d made it seem as if it were out of honor for Edgar, but the way he watched you let you know that, that was bullshit. No, he never called you into his bed, but he also made sure to never let you get close to another man again.
He made sure you never had to work, you never wanted for anything, you always had fresh clothes waiting for you, and you had one of the best rooms on the train. 
“Edgar sacrificed his life so you could have a better one. It only makes sense that you have the best of everything,” he whispered the night that he’d helped you settle into your new room.
In return, you’ve made it known that you’ll always despise him.
“What?” you snap the second you step foot inside his room.
He looks at you with his bourbon shot eyes, and you scoff. He’s in one of his moods.
“You could be a little nicer to me, Y/N.”
“Everyone on this train is nice enough to you. Now, what do you want? What’s the point of giving me a room if you never actually let me stay in it.”
“What’s wrong with you today?” he sneers, pouring himself another drink.
“You’re still here and Edgar isn’t.”
“Edgar made his choice-”
“Edgar worshiped you and blindly followed you into battle, and you couldn’t give less of a shit about what happened to him.”
“That’s not true!”
You scoff and narrow your eyes at him, “then why do you call me here every fucking night?”
“I’ve never done anything-”
“I know you’re not drunk enough to lie to me,” you warn with a snarl.
No, technically Curtis has never done anything to you, but hes found ways to...mess with you. 
He’s had you stay in the rooms while hes fooled around with other women, sometimes multiple at once, if he gets drunk enough, he watches you bathe and get dressed, hes gone out of his way to show you just how badly he wants you, and he never lets you stay away from him for too long. No, he’s never forced himself on you and taken you, but hes always been just a few steps away from doing so.
With Edgar out of the way, he’s free to do whatever he pleases.
However, the problem is, Curtis wants you to want him. He wants you to burn for him just as bad as he burns for you. At one point, that would’ve been possible. It was never that you found him unattractive or unapproachable, something just always seemed...off. Now that, that’s been confirmed, you’re repulsed by the man.
Even if you do still find him painfully attractive.
A sick smirk comes to his face as he makes his way over to you, “I’ve never done anything that haven’t found yourself enjoying.” “Yes, because I love spending my nights watching fuck other women.”
“Could be you.”
“You can let go of that dream. If it never happened before, it sure as fuck isn’t gonna happen now.”
Without warning, he’s gripping your neck tight and forcing you against the wall, and you do your best to ignore the fluttering feeling in your stomach.
“You can pretend all you want to, but I know how bad you want it. I hear you at night when you think I’m asleep. The pathetic little moans and whimpers, and your desperate begging.”
Your eyes go wide and he chuckles darkly.
“You’re not as slick as you think, honey.”
“It’s not for you, so don’t go getting a big ego.” “It sure as shit isn’t for Edgar, even when you were fucking him regularly. He could never truly satisfy you. Not in the way you needed.” “You’re a bastard!”
“How many times did you picture me every time he fucked you, hmm? How many times do you picture me when you’re alone in that cozy little room of yours?”
You don’t know what the hell has gotten into him, because he’s never been this forceful with you before.
“Never!”
“You should be thanking me,” he growls, his grip on your neck getting tighter as he leans in close. “Maybe I should stop being so fucking nice to you and just take it.” “Don’t you fucking dare!”
“What will you do, huh? The only crying you’ll be doing is when I’m done with you and you’re begging for more of my cock.”
Of all the fucking times to be turned on.
“Curtis-”
“You fucking want it,” he continues, “even now, I know that little pussy is crying to be touched. To fucked until it’s ruined!”
You push him off of you and glare at him.
“Admit it! You orchestrated all of this so you could-”
“He knew what he was getting himself into! He knew the chance he was taking-”
“He trusted you!”
“That was his fault!”
There it is.
“So you admit it!”
“I’d do it again! Why did he deserve you but I didn’t?! I still don’t?! After all I’ve done for you?!”
“You’re monster!”
“Sticks and stones,” he smirks before pressing you against the wall again. “Maybe I should show you just how much of a monster I am.”
His lips are on yours and when you try to push him off of you, he doubles down on his efforts. Squeezing at the stitches in his other arm, he hisses in pain, dropping his glass and backs up for just a moment. He slaps you hard before going in for another kiss, but you’re quick to knee him in the groin.
“Bitch!”
You’re quick to run out and make your way to room, not sure of where else there is to hide, and before you can slide the door close, he’s pushing you in and slamming it shut behind him.
“Get out!”
“Get on the fucking bed!” “Curtis-”
“Fine, you want this to be rough? I can be as rough as you want me to be, baby,” he promises as he locks the door.
“HELP!”
“No one is going to go against me, no one is going to save you, and no one is gonna feel bad for you. Scream all you fucking want, they’ll know you’re just enjoying it,” he promises with a sinister smile.
Seeing no other way out of this, you rush him against the wall and just start hitting him with all the power you have in your body.
“I’ve never had to work for it,” he taunts, easily pushing you back. “Never had to make a bitch admit just how bad she wants me!”
“I hate you! I want nothing to do with you!”
“Is that what you’d tell yourself every time you’d make eye contact with me while he was fucking you? Looking down at me as he fucked up into you, telling you just how much he loves and adores you?” he counters, easily wrapping an arm around your waist, easily throwing you down on the bed. “When you knew I was getting off to your hushed moans? You didn’t want anything to do with me then either? You didn’t want me making you scream?”
You hate that he has a point because, to an extent, you did want one him at one point. You wanted him bad. It’s part of why you’d turn down Edgar so many times. No, you never had any intention of pursuing Curtis, but you were attracted to him. Far more than you were to Edgar, and you felt incredibly guilty about it. You would’ve been content to be alone, but Edgar never relented and you eventually found it cute.
Of course you knew what Curtis was doing whenever the two of you locked eyes, but you truly never thought he’d let Edgar get killed so he could get you. The worst part of it is, even now that you know the truth of it all, you still want Curtis. In some sick way, the fact that he did something so horrible just to have you all to himself drove you insane in the worst way. You aren’t losing the fight because he’s overpowering you, you’re losing the fight because you’re tired of fighting it.
“Don’t get quiet on me now,” he snickers as pulls his top off and throws it across the room. “Don’t tell me that you’re a filthy little liar,” he presses as he rips your top open.
“Leave me alone!” “No, I’m done waiting around,” he husks, pulling your bra down. “Fuck!”
“Curtis-”
“You’re gonna shut the fuck up and you’re gonna enjoy everything daddy has to offer you,” he warns before dipping down and enveloping his right breast in his mouth; lewdly licking and sucking on it in the most depraved way.
“O-oh! Curtis!”
It’s been so long since you’ve been touched by anyone else.
“That’s right,” he mumbles before nipping on your nipple, while his other hand works on undoing your jeans, “I know exactly what you need, you little bitch.”
Your breathing comes heavier as his hand makes its way down into your panties, finding your overstimulated bundle of nerves.
“You’re fucking soaked!”
“Stop-”
“Stop fucking fighting me!” he warns, his other hand making it’s way around your throat. “You fucking want it! You’ve always fucking wanted it!”
You’re not sobbing because he’s doing something wrong, you’re sobbing because he’s right. Edgar would probably be alive if you’d just kept saying no to him.
“That’s right, baby. Just let me take care of you,” he moans, easily sliding a finger into you.
“Curtis,” you moan, bucking your hips forward.
“So beautiful, baby,” he coos, finally giving your other nipple attention, “waited so fucking long!”
“Oh fuck!”
You do your best to block out all images of Edgar and every feeling of guilt you felt. For whatever reason, Curtis wasn’t letting you go tonight and you didn’t want him to.
“You can barely take two fingers,” he groans, adding another thick finger to your sopping cunt as you rake your nails across his back. “Gonna have to get you ready for me. God, these fucking tits!” he husks.
“Please!” you whimper, feeling both pleasure and pain at the way he’s pulling you apart, “don’t fucking stop!”
“We’re gonna be at this a while,” he promises with a smirk as he picks up his pace. 
He resumes his assault on your left nipple for just a bit longer, before he finally starts leaving a trail of sloppy wet kisses down your body, pulling your pants down along the way. 
You’ve never had a guy go down on you before. Before you’d been put on the train, you’d only had sex twice and the both of you were inexperienced. When you were with Edgar, you two weren’t free to explore much. The most you’d been able to do was give him a blowjob, even that was uncomfortable.
“So fuckin’ pretty for me,” Curtis purrs against your pussy lips, “been waitin’ for me.”
The first lick is just a tease and you whine in protest, the second is right against your clit and whine his name as you dig your nails into his shoulders, and with the third he’s finally diving right in and claiming you as his own with his tongue.
“Oh God! Don’t fucking stop!” you beg pathetically, your legs starting to tremble as he massages your clit with his thumb. “Fuck!”
The sounds of his of his pornographic moans and roughness of his beard on your thighs somehow make you even more feral, and you can’t resist looking down. The sight of him buried between your legs has you biting on your bottom lip to keep from screaming. As if he can sense your feral gaze on him, you he looks up with a devilish glint in his ocean blue eyes, which have now darkened with twinges of desire and lust, as he starts fucking you faster with his tongue.
Your mouth hangs open and you’re right on the edge when he removes his tongue.
“What the fuck?!” you cry out and he chuckles darkly.
“I shouldn’t fucking let you cum at all,” he bites as he thrusts two fingers inside of you, causing you to buck your hips forward, “but I’m gonna get this tight little pussy ready for me,” he promises again.
The intrusion of a third finger has you throwing your head back in both pleasure and pain, and you try to push his hand away.
“None of that, fucking take it! Take it and then you’re gonna take my fucking cock,” he demands gruffly, applying more pressure to your clit with his thumb.
“Ngh- too much! Curtis please!”
“Then fucking cum! What, you don’t know how? Was it really that bad with him?” he taunts with a condescending chuckle.
You shouldn’t clench around his fingers the way you do at that.
“Not such a fucking saint after all, huh? Just a hungry little cock whore. Say it,” he demands lowly.
Biting down on your lip to keep quiet, you shake your head ‘no’.
Slapping one of your tits hard, he repeats, “say it!”
“ ‘m a cock whore!” you cry out, squirting hard and coating his wrist.
That’s new.
“Jesus fuck,” he growls.
He fucks you through your high, lapping up the mess you made, while you try to come down from your high. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you know how wrong all of this is, but you can’t focus on that right now. The pleasure is all consuming, and you can’t think on anything other than how much you want Curtis.
How, in some dark and twisted way, you’ve always wanted Curtis.
The sound of him unzipping his pants brings you back to reality, and you know you’re going to hate yourself in the morning. Hell, you hate yourself now. 
“Don’t ever make me fight this fucking hard for you again, you understand me?” he warns, kicking his jeans and boxers off of him and your bed.
You watch him with wide eyes and it’s as if he can read your mind.
“Don’t you dare try and fucking run from me now. You’re mine, you’ve always been mine, and you’ll always be mine.”
He takes his angry red cock in his hand, stoking it a few times, before dipping down and kissing you like you’d finally been returned to him after years of being held captive. The taste of you and whiskey mix together perfectly, intoxicating you, and you moan into his mouth, as both of your tongues fight for dominance.
“You are mine,” he broods once you two break apart as he spears himself inside of you.
“Shit!”
He lets out a strangled groan, “gonna make you feel better than you ever have before!”
He’s relentless as he fucks into you, knowing exactly what you need as you trail kisses down his neck. 
“Y/N,” he whines when you find that spot on the crook of his neck, biting down on it hard before using your tongue to soothe the pain. “Fuck! What a good girl,” he praises and you flutter around his cock. “My pretty girl likes that? Being my good fuckin girl?”
You’ve never been so full in your life and the only response you can muster is a pathetic moan, sucking even harder on his neck. 
“That’s right, baby. Mark me up...make sure they know I’m yours,” he growls, using one hand to pin your waist down, while the other pins your hands down to the bed above your head.
You don’t even care that he’s using you as his own personal rag doll, because you need it. You both need it. So many years of anger, frustration, and denial have finally come to a head, and it feels good.
It feels so fucking good.
“Oh God! Daddy!” you cry out, wrapping a leg around his waist as he finds a spot within you that you didn’t even know existed.
“Fuck, there it is!”
“Too much!”
“No it’s not, you’re gonna make a mess for me again,” he demands as his movements start to become erratic. 
The hand he’s using to pin your waist to the bed travels down between the both of you, and you let out a choked sob as he starts to massage your clit.
“So beautiful, baby. Love you so fucking much,” he grunts, and you’re not sure if he means you or your pussy.
Your mind is so full of fog that you truly don’t give a fuck.
You turn your head away as you feel the knot in your core tighten and he whines, “look at me...waited so long, let me see you, baby. C’mon...let daddy see you come apart.”
Forcing your gaze on him, there’s something equally soft in his feral blue eyes, and you know you’re done for. No matter what you feel in the morning, you’ll want this again and again.
You’ll want him again and again.
A silent scream leaves your mouth as your orgasm washes over you, the leg around his waist falling to the side as you make a mess between the both of you.
“That’s a good girl...milk my fat fuckin’ cock, baby,” he groans, resting his forehead against yours as he paints your inner walls with his love.
Well, you’ve fucking done it now. 
He peppers soft kisses from your forehead to your cheek, as he rides out both of your highs, whispering sweet nothings into your ear as he finally releases your arms. When he finally stills within you, half hard, you let your arms fall to your sides and close your eyes, feeling more full and desired than ever before.
Feeling more guilt than you ever have before.
You’re almost asleep when you hear, “clean daddy off, honey. We’re just getting started.”
He chuckles when he looks down at the confused look on your face.
“I told you: we’re gonna be at this for a while.”
You’re not sure what the hell has gotten into him, and why he’s so forceful tonight, but he keeps you up for hours in positions you’ve never even dreamed of. Exhausting your body over and over again, his lips covering every inch of your body that they can, and his hands exploring every part of you. It feels like heaven, and there’s a pitiful shame that washes over you with each orgasm. You lose count of how many times he tells you he loves you, and how perfect he thinks you are for him, and soon you’re just a mindless doll ready and willing to do anything he wants. You’ll give him anything as long as he continues to lessen the embarrassment that’s come with you finally giving yourself to him.
“That’s it, baby,” he grunts from behind as you lull your head back, “ride daddy’s dick just like that. Like a fucking cowgirl!”
“Ngh!”
“I know you’re tired,” he coos against your neck, his beard making you shutter as he strarts groping your breasts with both hands, “gonna fill your perfect little pussy one more time, I promise!”
The thought of you leaking with his release again has you clenching around him.
“You love being so full of me, don’t you?”
You just nod as you grip his thick thighs, digging your nails into them.
“I know, baby. Just needed daddy to show you who’s boss, didn’t you? Too ashamed to accept what I was so willing to give you,” he moans, kissing your neck as one of his hands travels between your thighs.
“DADDY!”
“So loud for me and I fucking love it! You’d never be this fuckin’ loud for him, would you?”
You lazily shake your head ‘no’.
“Didn’t deserve you...he couldn’t make you happy like I can. Like I always will,” he promises as he slaps your cunt.
That’s all it takes. You scream his name as your body spasms and you make a mess for what feels like the millionth time. He pulls you close, filling you to the brim, as your body relaxes against his.
“What a good girl,” he praises softly, his own breathing shallow as he guides your waist to ride out both of your orgasms.
You’ve never been so exhausted in your life.
You honestly have no control over your body at this point, so Curtis has to guide you off of him and onto the bed. You flinch when you feel some sort of fabric between your legs, cleaning you up.
“I know you’re sensitive, just a few more moments, baby,” he coos.
Well, he’s certainly much happier now that you’re a useless and mindless mess.
You feel the bed dip from behind you as he gets in, pulling the cover over the both of you before pulling you close to him. The fight that’s left in you isn’t enough to kill an ant. Instead, you just relax against him as you drift off into unconsciousness, hoping that all of this is just a very strong dream crafted from loneliness and desire.  
The last thing you hear before you succumb to darkness is, “I love you.”
~~
“Y/N,” a soft voice calls as a pair of hands shake your gently.
You blink a few times, coming back to reality and trying to separate your dreams from reality.
“Y/N? Curtis wants to see you in his room.”
Curtis.
All of a sudden the pain in your face and body catapult you back into reality. Shame washes over you, as well as an intense amount of guilt, and you curl into yourself. God, how could you give into him? How could you get off to some of the cruel and lewd things he said? What the fuck is wrong with you?
“Y/N? Did you hear me? Curtis-”
“No,” you respond softly, pulling the blanket tighter around yourself.
“He told me not to take ‘no’ for an answer,” the woman responds mournfully.
You say nothing, silently crying to yourself and wishing you were anywhere else. Wishing you could get away from your one true forbidden desire.
“Y/N, please,” the woman begs.
It’s not lost on you that she’ll more than likely have hell to pay, but you can’t face him. The more memories come flooding back, the more you want to the train to swallow you whole. To add insult to injury, arousal pools between your legs as desire takes over your body. What the hell came over the both of you last night, and why did you let it win? There was a time that you would’ve fought till the last breath in your body to keep Curtis off of you, but last night, you barely put up that much of a fight. You didn’t want to.
You hear your drawers open and what you assume are clothes landing on your bed, and you just pull the cover over your head. He got what he wanted out of you, so why can’t he leave you alone? What else could he want from you?
‘I love you.’
There’s no possible way he could’ve meant that. He was drunk. He treats every other woman on this train like his own personal pleasure toy, so what makes you any different? So special?
“What did I tell you last night about making me fight for you?”Curtis sighs as he walks into your room, closing the door shut behind him.
You were so lost in thought that you hadn’t even heard the woman leave.
  When you say nothing, he pulls the cover from you, “come on, Y/N. Don’t make me get forceful.”
You just pull your legs tighter to yourself and cry harder.
“What?”
“Please...just go away.”
“Y/N-” “You did it on purpose, Curtis. He loved you and you just...”
“You didn’t seem to mind that confession so much last night.”
“Which makes me just as awful as you if not worse,” you sob, once again realizing just how terrible you are. 
Edgar loved you unconditionally and you let the man responsible for his death fuck you like a beast, willingly giving him orgasm after orgasm.
“Honey,” Curtis tries to reason, going to touch your arm, but you pull away.
It’s insane how you can long for and hate someone’s touch so much at the same time.
Letting out another frustrated sigh, he pulls the cover back over your body and steps away, “fine.”
You can hear the pain in his voice, but he should feel like garbage. You both should. The sliding door to your room opens and closes again, and you’re finally on your own again. As you continue to cry, you if you’ll ever know peace again. If you aren’t, how long will it take you to allow yourself the comfort of Curtis?
Curtis’ P.O.V.
What the fuck is wrong with me? It’s not the first time I’ve gotten drunk and tormented you, but to attack you like that? Confess the truth in such a condescending way? Of course you want nothing to do with me now that the fog has cleared. Yes, what I did was fucked up, but I’ve been right about you since day one.
You wanted me all along.
It’s not like I didn’t care for Edgar, and he deserved more from me, but he didn’t deserve you. Watching him with you was like a knife to the chest every day. Hearing your moans and whimpers every night that he was inside you? Those were mine. They were for me. That’s why you always kept your eyes focused on me. You knew it just as well as I did. Maybe you’re the real monster in all of this, because you used him just as much as I envied him. 
You weren’t happy, you were never going to leave him, so I took charge. I didn’t expect for any of it to work out like it did, but it did nonetheless. I figured if I gave you enough time and space, you’d come to me, but my patience could only last so long. Venting to Nam night after night only helped so much. 
Two fucking years.
Two years of me watching you, two years of me making every other man on board afraid to get close to you, two years of me being a lesser version of myself...two years and you still never cracked. I have a fucking train to take care of, I couldn’t keep spending all of my time and energy just trying make you jealous enough to give him.
I was all set to let it go and let you do whatever the hell you wanted, until I walked past your train cart yesterday morning.
“Fuck Curtis...fuck me just like that,” you whimpered so softly, I thought I imagined it.
Looking into your room made me cum instantly. You were completely naked, eyes closed, head lulled back, and riding your pillow. You’d never looked so fucking hot before, and that was my name leaving your mouth. Not Edgar’s, mine. I no longer needed you to fucking say you were mine, but you’d just confirmed it.
“Gonna cum so soon, daddy! Fuck!”
I couldn’t get it out of my mind, and my frustration wouldn’t leave my body. Why the hell were you fighting something you so desperately wanted? 
Because you’re not a monster at all.
Even without my confession, you’d always known the truth. I could’ve saved Edgar, but I didn’t. I made a million excuses as to why I couldn’t, and everyone believed them. Everyone except you. Of course you wouldn’t allow yourself to be with me. Not without force. So, after I finished up everything I needed to take care, I got drunk. I had planned on being level headed, but you came in with that fucking attitude, and I fucking lost it.
How the hell were you annoyed with me? I made sure you had the best life, and you were still ungrateful. Once again, I could’ve saved Edgar, but you wouldn’t have left him. You would’ve married him and had his fucking his kids, and what right did he have to you? What right do any of the guys on this hell hole have to you? None of them will ever love you like I do, they’re not gonna satisfy you like I do, and they’re never gonna care for you like I do.
You just needed to be shown, so I decided that I was done waiting. I knew you’d put up a fight, but I didn’t expect it to get me so worked up. I didn’t mean to hit you so hard, but you were being difficult. Squeezing the stitches in my arm? You knew better than that. It wasn’t as easy as I’d hoped, but when you finally surrendered, it was more than worth it. You were a fucking dream, better than anything I’d ever had or imagined.
How could I feel bad about Edgar when I finally had you right where I wanted you? Where I’d always wanted you. I didn’t have to say all of things I did, but we both knew they were true. You’d always wanted me, he’d never truly satisfied you, and you’d always wanted me. Whatever your reasons were for choosing him over me didn’t matter anymore, because you finally admitted everything. Yeah, it bothered me that you never said ‘I love you’ back, but I also know I can’t have everything I want at once. I know you do, and when you’re ready, you’ll admit that too. 
“She’s not here,” Nam says softly, pulling me out of my thoughts as he enters.
“No, she’s back to hating me,” I mutter with an eye roll. “I did everything wrong.”
“Did you explain?”
“Nope, I did the exact opposite. I took what I wanted and expected her to fall in line.”
He lets out an irritated sigh as he runs a hand through his hair, “Curtis.”
“Yeah, I fucking know, alright?”
“What now?”
“I’ll go back and see her tonight. I’ll talk to her. She loves me, she just needs some encouragement to see it. To admit it.”
“Be gentle, Curtis. You get angry and you don’t think.”
He’s not wrong.
“Did you hurt her?”
“We both hurt each other, but it’s not like she didn’t like it.”
“Is that what happened to your arm?” he asks, pointing to the bruise.
I scoff with a nod, “yeah, little devil.”
“She’s tough, I’ll give her that,” he laughs, taking Kronole out of his pocket.
“Will you stop with that shit?!”
“You beat women, I get high,” he shrugs.
“I don’t beat women,” I quickly counter, trying to keep a lid on my anger.
I really didn’t mean to hit you so fucking hard. Fuck.
He just rolls his eyes, “Should I send Yona to look after her?”
“No, we have work to do and we need Yona and her ability. I’ll send one of the girls to check on her and give her food.”
I know I should be the one to do it but with how you were this morning, I know we’re basically right back where we started.
“Curtis, should I send for Y/N again?” Sansa asks, poking her head in, disdain dripping into her words.
I can see the pain in her eyes, but I can’t bring myself to feel bad. She may be a regular, but she always knew she wasn’t permanent. All of them know. 
“I’ll see to her later. Make sure no one comes in except Yona,” I instruct dismissively.
“Yes sir.”
Yeah, I’m an asshole, but I’m an asshole who’s in love with and made better by you. The sooner you see that, the sooner things will be as they should. In time, you’ll see.
In time, you’ll understand.
~~
Y/N’s P.O.V.
“Here, take mine,” a deep soft voice told you.
You looked over to your right to see that Curtis had taken a seat next to you, and he was holding out his protein block.
You shook your head and pushed it away, “oh no, it’s perfectly fine-”
“You’re hungry-”
“What will you eat?”
“I don’t like the way they taste,” he shrugged.
You laughed to yourself, “no one likes the way they taste.”
“Won’t haunt you like the taste of human flesh though.”
He had a point there.
“Go on, take it,” he offered again.
“You have to eat something. We’re all barely hanging on as it is.”
“Y/N-”
You offered him a half smile, “we can split it.”
He contemplated your offer before he nodded, “deal.”
You miss that Curtis. The one who showed remorse for his actions, cared about those around him, and was actually trying to help everyone and not just himself. Ever since Gilliam took him under his wing, there was an heir of arrogance to him, and it made you want him that much less. It got worse after Edgar got killed and Gilliam soon followed.
God, how could you still fuck him after his confession? If anything, that should’ve made you fight harder. Instead, in a sick way, it turned you on even more because it showed you just how much he wanted you. How much he’d do to make sure you’d always be his and his alone. 
Maybe being on the train for so damn long that it’s fucked with you more than you thought, or maybe you’re just that awful.
The servers have been trying to feed you all day, but the only thing you’ve consumed is alcohol. It’s the only thing that’ll keep demons and thoughts of self-hatred at bay. Plus, for as much as you shouldn’t, you do feel bad for Curtis. The man told you he loves you a handful of times last night, brought you to euphoric bliss time and time again, and you let him hold you close last night, just so you could ice him out today.
As much as you don’t want to believe that the mad man loves you, somewhere deep down inside, you know it’s true. A man doesn’t let the closest person he has to a best friend die over someone he doesn’t love. Yes, you knew Edgar could get on his nerves sometimes, but never enough for Curtis ever want something truly awful to happen to him. It’s not like you ever meant for things to become a sick and twisted games, but they had and the end result was the sweetest man you’d ever known getting killed.
All of this was your fault.
“You haven’t eaten today,” a soft voice rings out, stepping into your room.
“Please go, Curtis. You got what you wanted. Just go, I’m sure Sansa and the others will be happy to keep you company tonight.”
He sits down in front of you and takes your face in his hands, “I don’t love Sansa and the others.”
“Curtis-”
“Why have you been crying all day?”
You’re more than sure the look on your face screams, ‘really?’.
“It’s not like it was something you didn’t already know-”
“Stop being so fucking callous about it!”
“Why? I’d do it again, honey. I have no problem admitting that. If I had to do it all over again, I would without hesitation.”
“What the fuck is the matter with you?!”
“I love you, Y/N. I think I’ve made that pretty clear for some time now, and I’m not going to watch you be with some other man. I don’t give a fuck who that man is.”
“You can literally have whoever else you want-”
You yelp when he effortlessly picks you up and pulls you into his lap.
“The world could be the way it’s supposed to be and I still wouldn’t want anyone else. You were meant for me and I was meant for you. If people have to die for you to understand that, then so be it. I will never love anyone the way I love you, so stop thinking that this is just some fling to me,” he warns, his gaze on you tense and serious.
His words should make you afraid of him but, instead, they make you want him more than you did the night before.
“You don’t-”
“Who else do you want me to make disappear, hmm? How do I make you believe me?”
“Curtis...stop.”
“I love you.”
“That’s not love-”
“Why should I go about this the normal way? We’ve all had to fight to stay here, and I’m willing to fight for you. I will always fight for you because you’re mine, just like I’m yours. I love you.”
For now, you’ll just blame the alcohol as you lean in and kiss him softly. Just like the night before, he runs one of his hands through your hair and grips it tight as he deepens the kiss, his other arm wrapping around your waist and pulling you as close as possible.
He broods against your lips once you two break apart, “that’s right, baby. You’ll always be mine.”
“This isn’t right-” “Who gives a fuck about right and wrong when it feels this fucking good?”
“Curtis...”
“Just give into me,” he pleads before kissing you again, “give into me because you love me just as much as I love you.”
Once again, the fight leaves your body and you’re just giving into what you want. You kiss him deeply as your legs wrap around his waist, grinding against him. 
“That’s it honey,” he breathes with a moan, the tip of his nose ghosting over the outline of your cheek. “I won’t take anything you don’t wanna give me. Just like last night.”
You know good and damn well he’s saying that because last night he did force himself on you, but you both knew you were desperate for it. You both know you’ve been desperate for him for a while. It’s evident that he wants you to acknowledge that, but he’s gonna need to work a little harder for that. 
“If you truly love me, then show me,” you sigh as he bites and sucks on your neck. “Show me how much you need me to be yours.”
You must have awakened something feral in him because, instantly, he’s picking you up and standing up with almost no effort at all, and carrying you out of your room, quickly make his way towards his. Part of you wants to protest, because you’ve seen what he’s done with other women in his bed, but another part of you is desperate for it because it is his bed. Anyone else who was on it before you won’t ever matter again, because you’re all he needs.
He growls as he tosses you onto his bed, “take your fucking shirt off before I rip it off.”
You honestly don’t need much prompting. Between the amount of alcohol coursing through you, and the desire that you’ve been suppressing for years, you’re once again willing and ready to do anything that he wants. You whimper when he pulls his off and tosses it to the side, quickly getting to work on undoing his pants.
Yeah, you’re still sore from yesterday, but the pleasure always outweighs. You’ll take aspirin after.
“I thought I already fucking showed you,” he husks roughly, fitting your legs around his waist once on the bed and on his haunches. “I didn’t get my point across last night?”
You bite your lip and shake your head no, holding his gaze as you wrap your arms around him. 
He smirks as that devilish glint comes back to his eyes, “let me be firmer this time,” forcing you down on his cock.
“AH SHIT!”
He keeps a firm hold on your waist as he starts bouncing you up and down on his cock, “you’re mine, Y/N. Always have been and you always will be!”
You cry out as you lull your head back, “oh fuck, daddy!”
“Eyes on me, baby. Gonna make sure it sinks in this time,” he chuckles darkly.
Honestly, all you can do is hold on to him, and he doesn’t even make that easy. He spits on your cunt a few times before easily wrapping one arm behind your waist to keep you in place, and shamelessly slapping your clit with the other hand.
“Please....please!”
His condescending chuckle only makes you clench around him, “fucking pathetic.”
He dips down, the tip of his tongue lightly licking between your breasts and moaning as he licks up the sweat, before latching his mouth onto your right nipple and sucking on it as if it’s his favorite lollipop to exist.
You whimper, feeling safe in his strong hold, as you run a hand through his buzzed hair, “feels so good, daddy! The way you love me feels so good!”
Releasing your nipple with a ‘pop’, he looks up with brooding dark eyes, “and no one else will ever make it feel this good,” he promises.
Without warning, he starts massaging your clit with more pressure than you’re prepared for, and you’re screaming out his name as you make a mess between the both of you.
“So messy and all mine,” he praises, his voice strained as continues to fuck up into you. “Always been all mine, haven’t you?”
Once again, you’ve been turned into a mindlessly babbling toy.
“No answer?” he taunts, his breathing as he stops all together, laughing sadistically at your pathetic whimper. “Guess daddy still hasn’t made his point clear.”
He drops you down onto the bed, flips you over with ease, fixes your knees so your ass is propped in the air, before thrusting himself inside of you again.
“Aht!”
“You’ve always been mine, haven’t you?” he growls, fucking into hard and fast.
You just whimper into his pillow as claw at his bed, but he isn’t having that. Wrapping one arm around your waist and snaking it up between your breasts, he grips your throat while the other hand grips your hair tight, and he pulls you right.
“Use your fucking words,” he demands gruffly, fucking into you harder, “you’ve always been mine?”
“Y-yes!”
“Yes who?”
“Y-yes...y-y-yes daddy!”
“Always gonna be mine?”
“A-an-anything you w-want!”
He growls into your neck as you feel him spill into you, “fuck baby!”
Once again, there’s nothing going through your mind but fog and your body is exhausted. If he wants more from you, you’ll give it to him, but you can honestly fall asleep in his hold right now. He loosens his grip on your neck, and you take a deep breath, not even realizing how tight he’d been holding onto you. Lazily fucking you both through your high, he presses small, wet, open mouthed kisses along your neck.
His breath comes heavy and he sounds just as tired as you feel, “get the message this time?”
You nod as weakly attempt to fight off sleep, “mhm, you love me.”
The next question comes with a hint of fear, “do you believe me?”
“Mhm, yes.”
“Do you love me?”
The answer comes effortlessly, “yes Curtis.”
He’s gentle with you as he pulls out, growling as he watches the mix of your juices run down your thighs, and he lays you down. Once again, you wince when some fabric gently wipes over your extremely raw and sensitive flesh, and he gently hushes you. This time, when he gets in bed with you, you’re pulling him close and resting your head on his chest.
You’re too tired to fight it.
“I love you,” you repeat before effortlessly falling asleep.
~~
Once again, when you make up, you need a moment to adjust to your surroundings. The soreness is quicker to make your acquaintance this time, and you remember that you’re in Curtis’ room.
The very front of the train.
That’s when you realize you’re alone in his bed, and you’re slow to sit up and look around.
“I’m here,” he calls softly.
You look to the side and see him sitting across the room, sweatpants on only, hunched over, and resting his head on his hands.
“You should lay back down, I’m sure you’re sore.”
You keep your eyes on him as you slowly lay back down, “what’s wrong?”
He’s not wrong about you being sore. 
“Nothing-”
Scoffing as you prop yourself up on your elbow and rest your head on your hand, “you’re gonna start lying to me after the last two days we’ve spent together?” and he laughs softly.
“It doesn’t matter right now-”
“Curtis, what’s wrong?”
There’s a softness to his features, and it’s a softness you haven’t seen in a long time.
“I love you.”
You look down and play with the hem of the bed sheet.
“That’s the problem right there.”
“Curtis-” He sighs as he sits up, “I’m not complaining.”
“It’s not so easy for me, okay?”
“It was last night when you were drunk, and I fucking knew better. I knew better, but my emotions...” “There’s a lot that I have to come to terms with, and I’ve only had two days to do it.”
“Well, do you?” “Curtis-”
“It’s a simple yes or no question-”
“It’s not simple! I was with Edgar, and no matter how I may or may not have always felt about you, I did love him and you let him get killed. No, I’m not innocent in all of this, but he loved and trusted him and you betrayed him.”
“That was different-” “How? How am I supposed to know you won’t ever do something like that to me?”
“Because this is different! This isn’t even remotely close...since I laid eyes on you, I knew that you were meant for me, and I for you. I may have been 17, but I’d never been so sure of anything in my life. I still haven’t been,” he states, slightly hurt that you would even make a claim like that. “I know what I did was fucked up, that’s not lost on either of us, and I’ve done my best to show and prove to you that I’m sorry, because it wasn’t right. Edgar didn’t know, but you did. You knew and you felt the same for me.”
“Curtis-”
“Well you did, you can deny it all you want, but we both know it’s true.”
“It doesn’t matter-” “Well, why you’d pick him?”
You scowl and lay on your back, “you don’t want the honest answer to that question.” “I can handle it.” “Lets not-”
“Just tell me!’
“I really don’t think I need to, Curtis! There’s something wrong with you! Something in you is unhinged and it shows!” you snap, sitting up and facing him.
He sits back and lets out a heavy sigh, and it breaks your heart, but he’s the one who wants to know so bad. 
When he says nothing, you continue, “there’s something that flips a switch in you, and this darkness comes over you. You’re moody, argumentative, and violent. Anything can set it off and, while I get it to an extent, enough shit had happened and I didn’t want to deal with it. You would be so soft with me at times, but you could easily lose your temper with anyone else...with the exception of Gilliam. Edgar was kind, funny, and sweet. No, it wasn’t ideal, but I felt safe with him and I didn’t have to worry about him losing his shit on me. So yes, I had feelings for you, but I chose him. I know you took him under your wing out of guilt, but you were also jealous. The more he trusted you, the more you took advantage of that. It made me resent him. Then, when he went off with you for the uprising, I knew he wasn’t coming back. You wouldn’t let him.”
You can see the anger in his eyes, but he knows that he can’t call you a liar. Everything you’re saying is true and he’s not about to try and make a fool out of you.
“I did it for you,” he responds after a moment. “You don’t have to believe it, and I know you didn’t see it, but I did it for you. I’ve always wanted to keep you safe, take care of you, and have you by my side. Everything I’ve done has been for you, and while some of it has been less than humane, I’d do it again if it meant you could be happy. If it means you can have a better life, I’ll do it, and I don’t care who I have to hurt.”
“Curtis-”
“I don’t care how crazy any of it sounds, because you have to be crazy to survive in this world. I’d do anything to give you a better life and see you happy. I love you, Y/N,” he tells you softly and sincerely.
You shouldn’t feel an overwhelming amount or love and joy for him, but that doesn’t stop it from washing over you. Is there a shrink on this fucking train, because you both need your fucking heads examined.
“I’ll ask you again, do you love me?”
Slipping out before you have a chance to stop it, “yes. Yes Curtis, I love you.”
Your heart swells at the small smile that comes to his face, as he finally gets up and makes his way back to the bed, and gets in next to you. You ignore the shameful amount of guilt that overcomes you, because what happened in the past can’t be changed. All that counts is right now and the future you and Curtis will create together. 
You rest your head on his chest and make little circles it, “how are you so sure, Curtis?”
“So sure of what?” he asks, stroking your shoulder and finally relaxing.
“That you love me. How do you know it’s not just an overwhelming sense of lust?”
He laughs to himself and kisses the top of your head, “because when all the fog in my mind settles, there’s still a burning desire for you in my heart. A burning desire to protect you, make you happy, hear your voice, see you smile, and to love you until there’s no breath left in my body. When the fog clears, there’s always a desire to love you with everything I have in me.”
Pressing a soft kiss to his chest, you look up at him, “I’m sorry it took me so long to finally get here.”
“You don’t have to say you’re sorry, just promise to never leave.”
“I promise.”
“I love you, honey.”
“I love you, Curtis.” 
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stardustloserdoll · 9 months ago
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he lives in my head rent free
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love, alex
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i took a sip from my drink and glanced up from my book, scanning the room. it didn’t take long to sense someones gaze on me. i looked over and saw it was a guy with a pen in one hand and a small book in the other. his eyes widened when our eyes met, causing him to look away quickly. i smiled to myself and took another sip of my drink before returning my focus to my book.
i couldn’t help but steal glances at him. i watched as he as he wrote in his book with a concentrated look on his face. gently tapping his fingers on the table, mouthing some things to himself. he would glance up at me occasionally, but he would quickly look down continuing his writing.
a few minutes went by and when i looked up again, he was preparing to leave. fuck. i haven’t even made a move yet. i bounced my leg anxiously, forcing myself to get the courage to go up to him and ask for his number, until i noticed him placing some money on the table walking my way. fuck fuck fuck.
i cleared my throat, taking a big sip of my drink trying to not make eye contact with him, putting my head down. until i heard footsteps nearing and coming to a halt.
“hi.” he said softly. i looked up slowly, getting a better look of him now that we were face to face. “hi.” i responded quickly. “mind if i join you?” he asked gesturing to the empty seat in front of me. “no yeah, go ahead.” i smiled closing the book.
he took a seat clearing his throat. both awkwardly staring at each other without saying anything. he looked down at the book, and turned his head slightly to read the title. “oh hey, this is my favorite book.” my eyes lit up when he said that “no way, really? i love this book also. ive read it like 1,000 times or something. i always find myself coming back to it. its so good.”
he responded with a quiet ‘yeah’ and leaned back in the seat “it’s such a beautiful book, i usually read it before bed so i can fall asleep.” i laughed “like a bed time story then?” he chuckled nodding his head in agreement. “oh how rude of me. im alex. alex turner. and you are?” he smiled holding out his hand “y/n l/n.” i replied shaking his hand.
as our conversation went on we got to know more about each other. alex told me he was in a band called ‘arctic monkeys’ and they had their first album coming out soon. the way his eyes lit up when he talked about it made my heart melt.
“well, i guess we should start heading home.” i said, wrapping my arms around myself, trying to keep myself warm from the cold nights air. “i enjoyed talking with you alex.” he placed his hands in his leather jackets pockets. “i did too y/n. i hope to see you next time.”
“i hope so too.” i whispered taking in his features, his cheeks flushed pink from the cold and his lips slightly chapped. i brought my hands up to his cheeks and pressed a gentle kiss on his lips. he quickly placed his hands on my waist and kissed back. our lips connecting perfectly like puzzle pieces. we both pulled away looking into each others eyes with flustered faces.
“well, i’ll see you soon.” i said placing my hands on his shoulders. “goodnight alex.” he smiled bringing of my my hands up to his lips, placing a kiss on my knuckles. “goodnight y/n.”
it had been a while since i last seen alex. i showed up in the pub almost every night, hoping to find him there. but he never was. i missed him.
i stepped through the door, anxiously scanning the room to see if i could spot him. no luck.
i sighed and began making my way out the door until i heard a familiar voice call out my name. i turned back around quickly noticing alex pushing through the crowd with a big smile. i gasped holding my arms out to him “alex!”
he walked up to me wrapping his arms around my waist, spinning me around. “i missed you.” we both said in sync, making us both giggle. “im sorry for being absent, i been performing with the band and i got a bit busy. i should’ve asked for your number that night-.” he spoke frantically, a worried look on his face.
i laughed holding his face in my hands. “it’s alright don’t worry. im glad i got to see you again, i really missed you.” i placed a kiss on his forehead. “i missed you more.” he said placing his hands over mine. “can we go outside? i want to give you something.”
we walked outside sitting down on the concrete, leaning against the old yellow brick wall. “i meant to give you this before.” he reached into his pocket and pulled out a sightly crumpled note. “just a little something i wrote.”
i smiled taking the note from him, slowly opening it.
y/n,
ever since i saw you in the pub, i couldn’t help but be entranced by your beauty. from our first glance to our shared kiss at the end of the night, i yearned for you more and more. i can’t stop thinking about you. i love everything about you, when i close my eyes all i can see is you. a feeling i cant shake, nor erase. so here i write, in a soon to be crumpled note, my feelings and love for you so true, in every line, and every word.
love, alex
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