#I had never thought about it
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"You'll go through an awakening that will generate potential for you to explore your identity, you have potential to go beyond the previous dynamics you lived, some of them codependent. It seems most of you have lived these lives, these pararel realities, because you lived somebody else's life, a friend's, parents', partner's life. Especially in intimate connections, you ended up pulling in people's lives and people's destinies for yourself. One explanation for you pulling someone's destiny for you to live is that these people you lived with didn't have enough strenght to live their own destiny, so they needed to share their magic and energy with someone, and you end up pulling this in for you probably because you have a very open energy field. So you put yourself available to do for others what they needed to do for themselves, the reality they needed to live, and your life and essence you ended up leaving in the background. Now you'll recover it. There is great evolution ahead, you'll be proud of how far you'll go and how high you'll reach. A new dawn is arriving for you."
That sure gave me food for thought...
#tarot#pick a card#tarot reading#I translated it from part of a pick a card that's not in English that I linked here ...#I had never thought about it#It was the most interesting channeled message I've heard in a while and it's a general pick a card
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god i love my friends. shout out to people who love their friends. this is a post for friend lovers
#sorry i thought too hard about everything and got weirdly emotional like hgoly shit#i talk to people here every day and we know stuff about each other and shit and we exchange ideas and waaa#we're like all basically penpals but better#im realizing how revolutionary this is. like had we all been born earlier we never would have met#and even if we did we'd have to talk through letters with weeks if not months in between responses#can you imagine that#every day instead i literally wake up and my friends are there#insane#i love having friends
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probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.
we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."
at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.
the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.
the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.
what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.
here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.
#this is true#writeblr#warm up#relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes#amongst the Siblings#is like - ''this is so good u will love it''#while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting#like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good''#to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good#(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and#like. we're GONNA try the new thing.)#edit to answer why we had so much vanilla:#my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house.#it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out''#even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter.#my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract#to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids#so like she was right to stock up#ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that#u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it#> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes#> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out)#listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9#when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it.#3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters#i am the middle child#out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite
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dad issues
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(I think they were all fundamentally affected by what they saw and just collectively decided not to share the upsetting details)
#dungeon meshi#aj art#chilchuck#chilchuck backstory stuff#sorta#comic#tw alchoholism#tw death#tw parent death#dont generally tag for death stuff but in this he straight up dies on screen so I thought I should#Uhh I think they all had extremely grim visions bc I think that’s sort of the nature of ghost attacks#I mean Laios’ was basically just him being like “I should’ve died no one would care if i died”#I think Marcille’s would be. Horrifying. Given all her baggage around death.#Tho iirc this would be before Falin’s backfired resurrection#But anyway the mentioning of his father got me thinking#Since at least judging by Laios’ vision#They focus on people who’s death you have baggage around#Especially since Falin wasn’t ever like. Dead dead.#And Chilchuck does mention his father multiple times#Specifically he mentions his death and how he died#Like it seems like that specifically is a notable memory for him#Like you never see him like “my dad taught me to do this”#It seems like he remembers his dad *for* his death#So I anyway I made an extremely grim comic about it#beabell
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i get it now these guys are cool
#transformers one is the only transformers media ive seen#i want. to see it again#idk anytging else about transformers though dont quiz me im clueless#transformers#transformers one#tf one#transformers fanart#optimus prime#when i was a kid i had a friend who had transformers toys#but i would never play with them because there were so many steps to transforming them it was like a puzzle to me#i thought id get them stuck in like. a half transformed state hand have no idea how to fully transform them or put them back as they were#for reference when i say i was a kid i was like 4-5 these thingns were beyond my comprehension. i was busy thinking about scooby doo
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once long ago i had a dream where people kept pissing me off but every time i got angry they would smooch me on the forehead and it was so sweet and unexpected i just immediately forgot how was i even angry i decided to project it into Zoro and Sanji
#weeks later i was still thinking about that dream#and wishing people would smooch my forehead#one piece#one piece zoro#one piece sanji#roronoa zoro#zoro#sanji#zosan#zoro x sanji#op fanart#art#one piece fanart#digital art#the best part is that i know exacly where that dream's thought came from and its actually hilarious#bc its from a tf2 animation that had just released and i watched at that time#and that dream is the reason why i never forgot about it
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The dog days are over.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#jiang cheng#The childhood flashback is one of my favourite scenes in MDZS and yes I am disapointing myself in how little I am covering it.#If it is any consolation...I'll be bringing JYL's piggyback scene into another comic later on.#There truly is something so specific and yet resonant in the way our bonds as children feel so deep.#But the world doesn't stay as small as it does when you are a kid. The problems you argue about get bigger and more serious.#You still hold so much love for this person despite how much you want to throw hands with them.#To have such a complicated history with someone and then fall apart...You always think you have time to heal the wound.#Why wouldn't you! You've never had anything but time with this person. A brother not in blood but in true and genuine bond.#And then the fucker dies! It's horrible and sudden and the last words you exchanged were cold and awful!#What do you do with those dead end feelings? What do you do but grieve bitterly and angrily?#There is no resolution for all the love you wanted back. There will never be an opportunity to bridge the gap between you.#Someone you loved died thinking you hated them. Because you thought you had more time.#If anyone dares say Jiang Cheng didn't love WWX I'll be the first to fire up the powerpoint presentation on why he absolutely does.
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My Great Grandma who loved her babies very much
Reference that I used for the face!
#I was scrolling through pinterest and saw this woman and I was like: She looks EXACTLY like how I imagine Stan and Ford's mother to look#my art#gravity falls#mabel pines#dipper pines#ig??#caryn romanoff pines#caryn pines#mabel voice: she must have been one hell of a mother to have had to deal with Grunkle Stan and Grunkle Ford when they were kids!#DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MIGHT HAVE DIED THINKING STANFORD AND STANLEY NEVER GOT THE CHANCE TO RECONCILE#DO U EVER THINK ABOUT HOW SHE MUST HAVE BEEN PLAGUED WITH REGRETS AND WHAT-IFS OVER STAN BEING KICKED OUT- WISHING SHE COULD HAVE DONE MORE#DOES THE THOUGHT THAT STANFORD MIGHT HAVE NEVER GOTTEN THE CHANCE TO VISIT HER AT HER DEATHBED OR HER FUNERAL SINCE HE WAS STUCK ELSEWHERE??#EVER HAUNT YOU AT NIGHT???#DOES IT EVER OCCUR TO YOU THAT SHE MIGHT HAVE KNOWN ALL ALONG ABOUT STANLEY- SINCE SHE'S THEIR MOTHER AND “WHAT KIND OF MOTHER CAN'T#RECOGNISE HER OWN CHILDREN APART“#THEY MEET AT STAN'S FUNERAL LIKE: “STANLEY I DON'T KNOW WHAT HAPPENED- NOR WHY THAT CASKET AT THE FRONT IS EMPTY RIGHT NOW AND WHY WE'RE#CURRENTLY ATTENDING YOUR FUNERAL- OR WHY YOU'RE EVEN DRESSED UP AS FORD RIGHT NOW.“#“I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON STANLEY- BUT I DO KNOW THAT ONE OF MY SONS DIDN'T DIE IN A DITCH SOMWHERE IN THE FLAMING WRECK OF A CAR CRASH-#AND THAT'S ENOUGH FOR ME.“#SHE GOT THAT MOTHER'S INSTINCT#stan twins parents
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me when i get the opportunity to think about speculative biology and non-existent game mechanics in media i like
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#the candle creatures are revamps#i had created the idea for them years ago but i wanted to redo them slightly with new eyes#the “dark variants” of the mantas and birds are variants of them that have adapted for life in wasteland and the forests#and also#i like the idea of candle creatures that live in villages or within communities#that are sort of akin to strays that the whole community takes care of#means alot to me#this isnt everything ive been thinking about#ill make a couple diagrams about the large birds#yknow the ones from rhythm that we see once and never again. yeah.#they exist in my heart#anyway#skycotl#sky cotl#sky children of the light#sky#sky:cotl#sky: cotl#thatskygame#speculative biology#<- i guess?#im having fun ok#im happy to answer questions about my thoughts btw!#might be answered on my main if i cant muster a doodle or something#but i love answering asks#so if ur interested id love to hear thoughts :)
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Why is trigun suddenly stalking my life?
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sometimes everything just sucks real real real bad
#bonnie my beloved perceptive no filter bonnie my fucking beloved#divorce ass fucking ship dynamic. you are upsetting the fucking children.#isat spoilers#isat fanart#isat#in stars and time fanart#in stars and time spoilers#in stars and time#isat bonnie#isat siffrin#isat loop#siffrin#lucabyteart#sifloop#YES THIS GOES IN THE SHIP TAG. DIVORCE DIVORCE DIVORCE#anyway i have a lot of thoughts on loop and bonnie as im sure does everyone. both before and after they learn who they are#i think a lot about how loop has several lines gently reassuring siffrin that bonnie never actually hated them. they've had time to reflect#and while theyve not healthily come to terms with much... they seem to actually have come to understand that one... and yet...#they aren't siffrin anymore now are they?#anyway im off on my travels for the next 2 weeks ! my wips shall stay that way for a while! yes this is a fucked one to leave u with!!!#byeeeee !!! ill be back !!!!#sorry to the claude wip for being stuck in purgatory for like over a month im usually not like this <3#abuse tw#as requested
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I'm on my hands and knees begging for a compilation of the Drow's hands on Astarion or vice versa PLEASE
Y'know what, that's fair.
#I had never thought about it but I am so glad that even if skintone was no thing you could still tell their hands apart#ask#art#suggestive#du drow#astarion
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there are a lot of evil people in the world and a lot of darkness in the world and so it’s very important for me to stress that now more than ever is the time to spread kindness and compassion. combat the evil by not only not partaking in it, but actively refuting it. destroy the notion that being compassionate or generous or kind to someone is uncool or embarrassing or even scary. be the change you want to see. start a chain reaction. positivity only breeds more positivity. do an act of kindness for someone so that that person who is too afraid to do it themselves can see you, realize that they’re not alone, and perhaps sheepishly follow your example. and then the next person who is too afraid but sees that person can do the same. when bad news comes out about bad people or horrible atrocities in the world it’s such an easy impulse to despair, and obviously it’s important to feel what you need to feel. grieve. be angry. be sorrowful. be empathetic. but dust off your pants and get up and be a part of a chain reaction that, no matter how small the scale, and spread compassion and love and care. all the reasons why you might not—“it’s hard! it’s scary! people will make fun of me! it’s useless because there’s too much evil!” are all grade A arguments as to why you should. you have no idea how many people you could inspire to do the same. even if it doesn’t get you anyway far, you can at least say you have the nobility of trying. please choose love and please choose life. you are worth loving and you are worth inspiring others to love
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the thing is that they're so fascinated by sex, they love sex, they can't imagine a world without sex - they need sex to sell things, they need sex to be part of their personality, they need sex to prove their power - but they hate sex. they are disgusted by it.
sex is the only thing that holds their attention, and it is also the thing that can never be discussed directly.
you can't tell a child the normal names for parts of their body, that's sexual in nature, because the body isn't a body, it's a vessel of sex. it doesn't matter that it's been proven in studies (over and over) that kids need to know the names of their genitals; that they internalize sexual shame at a very young age and know it's 'dirty' to have a body; that it overwhelmingly protects children for them to have the correct words to communicate with. what matters is that they're sexual organs. what matters is that it freaks them out to think about kids having body parts - which only exist in the context of sex.
it's gross to talk about a period or how to check for cancer in a testicle or breast. that is nasty, illicit. there will be no pain meds for harsh medical procedures, just because they feature a cervix.
but they will put out an ad of you scantily-clad. you will sell their cars for them, because you have abs, a body. you will drip sex. you will ooze it, like a goo. like you were put on this planet to secrete wealth into their open palms.
they will hit you with that same palm. it will be disgusting that you like leather or leashes, but they will put their movie characters in leather and latex. it will be wrong of you to want sexual freedom, but they will mark their success in the number of people they bed.
they will crow that it's inappropriate for children so there will be no lessons on how to properly apply a condom, even to teens. it's teaching them the wrong things. no lessons on the diversity of sexual organ growth, none on how to obtain consent properly, none on how to recognize when you feel unsafe in your body. if you are a teenager, you have probably already been sexualized at some point in your life. you will have seen someone also-your-age who is splashed across a tv screen or a magazine or married to someone three times your age. you will watch people pull their hair into pigtails so they look like you. so that they can be sexy because of youth. one of the most common pornography searches involves newly-18 young women. girls. the words "barely legal," a hiss of glass sand over your skin.
barely legal. there are bills in place that will not allow people to feel safe in their own bodies. there are people working so hard to punish any person for having sex in a way that isn't god-fearing and submissive. heteronormative. the sex has to be at their feet, on your knees, your eyes wet. when was the first time you saw another person crying in pornography and thought - okay but for real. she looks super unhappy. later, when you are unhappy, you will close your eyes and ignore the feeling and act the role you have been taught to keep playing. they will punish the sex workers, remove the places they can practice their trade safely. they will then make casual jokes about how they sexually harass their nanny.
and they love sex but they hate that you're having sex. you need to have their ornamental, perfunctory, dispassionate sex. so you can't kiss your girlfriend in the bible belt because it is gross to have sex with someone of the same gender. so you can't get your tubes tied in new england because you might change your mind. so you can't admit you were sexually assaulted because real men don't get hurt, you should be grateful. you cannot handle your own body, you cannot handle the risks involved, let other people decide that for you. you aren't ready yet.
but they need you to have sex because you need to have kids. at 15, you are old enough to parent. you are not old enough to hear the word fuck too many times on television.
they are horrified by sex and they never stop talking about it, thinking about it, making everything unnecessarily preverted. the saying - a thief thinks everyone steals. they stand up at their podiums and they look out at the crowd and they sign a bill into place that makes sexwork even more unsafe and they stand up and smile and sign a bill that makes gender-affirming care illegal and they get up and they shrug their shoulders and write don't say gay and they get up, and they make the world about sex, but this horrible, plastic vision of it that they have. this wretched, emotionless thing that holds so much weight it's staggering. they put their whole spine behind it and they push and they say it's normal!
this horrible world they live in. disgusted and also obsessed.
#this shifts gender so much bc it actually affects everyone#yes it's a gendered phenomenon. i have written a LOT about how different genders experience it. that's for a different post.#writeblr#ps my comments about seeing someone cry -- this is not to shame any person#and on this blog we support workers.#at the same time it's a really hard experience to see someone that looks like you. clearly in agony. and have them forced to keep going.#when you're young it doesn't necessarily look like acting. it looks scary. and that's what this is about - the fact that teens#have likely already been exposed to that definition of things. because the internet exists#and without the context of healthy education. THAT is the image burned into their minds about what it looks like.#it's also just one of those personal nuanced biases -#at 19 i thought it was normal to be in pain. to cry. to not-like-it. that it should be perfunctory.#it was what i had seen.#and it didn't help that my religious upbringing was like . 'yeah that's what you get for premarital. but also for the reference#we do think you should never actually enjoy it lol'#so like the point im making is that ppl get exposed to that stuff without the context of something more tender#and assume .... 'oh. so it's fine i am not enjoying myself'. and i know they do because I DID.#he was my first boyfriend. how was i supposed to know any different#i didn't even have the mental wherewithal to realize im a lesbian . like THAT used to suffering.
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Translation: Junior, I have told you several times that Lily prefers to be single, remember?
Lily is the new aroace icon. That's all.
#Lily#duolingo#aromantic#asexual#aroace#yeah I know she had a crush on a drummer once#but that was just a one time thing#she can still be h/c'd as someone on the aroace spectrum#she has literally never been interested in anyone in that way other than that occasion#spanish duolingo#pride month#aroace pride#first post to reach 1k jeez#it always is a shitpost isn't it#personal headcanon#<- I thought it was clear enough before#apparently not looking at some reblogs#guys this is a headcanon post that I made#nowhere did I say that it was official#the only officially queer characters on Duolingo are Lin Bea and Oscar#Lin is lesbian Bea is bi and idk about Oscar#He never goes out on dates. just likes to paint and platonically hang out with Lucy in his free time#He's also most like aroace. Again: MOST LIKELY aro/ace.#like I know he's one of the “canonically” (officially from the website) queer characters. But Idk what his sexuality actually is.#this is a SHITPOST
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🕯 Happy Halloween 🕯
#sonadow#shadonic#sonicxshadow#shadowxsonic#sonic x shadow#shadow x sonic#sonic shadow#shadow sonic#sorry for this idea ghghghg i thought about it and had to#he's googling how to resurrect his stupid bf#he's either watching a vid or looking at wikihow help#chucky ref even tho ive never seen the movies :)
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