#I had a flare up today and I'm kinda exhausted

[edgepunk]

d'angelo wallace making a video about spy kids??? I am ready and seated

[rubiesintherough]

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[can-of-pringles]

When I'm Alone with You - Chapter 3

Rating: Gen

Warnings: None

Word Count: 1k

Summary:  Silas returns home after his work day.

Note: A Silas-centric chapter

Also Read On AO3

Silas took a tired breath, pulling his keys out of his pocket to unlock his apartment door. Even though he was plenty used to the long work hours by now, it didn’t mean he didn’t feel exhausted afterward. At least his joints hadn’t flared up recently. Once he opened the door, loud barking and a fluffy wagging tail greeted him.

Blizzard jumped up and tried to lick him, continuing to whine happily and bark now that he was home.

“Alright, alright, get down. I missed you too, buddy.” Silas chuckled and rubbed the grey dog’s head. “Thank you so much for checking in on him throughout the day.” He focused his attention on the woman standing next to the couch, walking towards him.

“It’s not a problem, though he might need another walk soon.” She smiled and crossed her arms.

Silas began to take out his wallet, but she shook her head.

“Hanna. Come on, you deserve something, at least.” He gave her a slight frown.

“Nah, it’s fine. I really don’t mind looking after Blizzard a bit. And besides, we’re friends, aren’t we? If you really want to pay me, just save it for next time.” She shrugged.

Silas had known Hanna ever since he was a kid. They had become friends once during a summer Silas spent with his father in Sweden. After they bonded over both liking Moomins, they’d been best friends ever since; promising to keep in touch and write letters whenever he had gone back to the states. Though now he’d been living in Sweden since his late teens, the distance between them was gone.

“Alright, if you say so.” He held his hands up in mock defense. “Though I know you’ve been wanting to open your own dog grooming place, you could’ve saved the money for that partially.”

“If you just let me practice on Blizzard, then that’s good enough.” She joked.

Blizzard tilted his head in confusion and whined quietly, causing the two of them to laugh. Silas gave the dog a comforting pet, and he settled down again.

“Really, Silas, it’s fine. I’m getting it worked out. And I’ve been busy earning from work,” Hanna spoke genuinely, giving him a small smile.

He was silent until an idea popped into his head. “Well, if you won’t let me pay you, maybe I can treat you to supper?”

She hummed in consideration. “Okay, you win. I’m pretty hungry, and it’s already kind of late.”

“Perfect, now let me see what I have…” He went to look in his pantry.

---

They sat at the table eating and casually talking about their day. Blizzard lay curled up by his food bowl, already empty, leaving him with a full stomach.

“So, how was work?” Hanna asked before taking a bite.

Silas propped his head on the palm of his hand. He furrowed his brows as he thought. “You know it’s the typical quiet cleaning day, very occasionally having to talk to my boss or more like bosses…”

She nodded.

“Although today was a lot more interesting.”

Hanna raised an eyebrow. “What happened?”

“I had already finished my shift and was honestly kinda messing around with one of the pianos they have there…” He confessed, glancing down at his plate for a second.

“You’re gonna get caught one day, you know.” She teased.

He remained silent.

Hanna stared as she pieced it together. “You did get caught!”

“I thought I was the only person left, I swear!” He protested.

“Alright, so who was it? The main boss lady you talk about?”

Silas scoffed and shook his head. “No. I would’ve lost my job had it been her. It was actually the Cardinal they’d promoted recently for their music or worship…”

“Wait, the one you said looked pretty?”

Silas began to choke on his drink, coughing until it had settled. “I never said that!” He could feel the blush rising on his face.

“Oh, wait, I think you said ‘fancy’, my bad.” She took a drink, glancing away.

“Anyway…” He cleared his throat. “He found me playing the piano, and instead of getting mad, he was very calm about it, which was extremely surprising.”

“You’re lucky you didn’t get fired.”

“I know, I know… Then we talked about the music just for a bit until I had to leave. It was unexpected, but he seemed very nice, definitely nicer than my boss. Although, I think his job is ranked under hers. I think he's supposed to replace the Papa in charge below her soon.” He explained.

“It's the third one before him, right?” She asked.

He nodded. “Yes, um… Papa Emeritus the Third, I think. Oddly, the Cardinal is also Italian like he is… I guess the majority of them are. I don’t think they’re related, though; must’ve come from whatever ministry they have in Italy.”

“You got a bunch of eccentric Italian church people in Sweden… remind me how you got this job again?” She joked, getting a short chuckle from him.

Sure, it was a weird place to work, but he couldn’t deny the good pay.

“I don’t remember interacting with him as much or the other ones, except maybe once he might’ve pointed out a spot for me to clean… it’s been a while. But it’s odd… I guess he stepped down? But Cardinal Copia is taking his place as far as I know.”

“That’s a lot to remember.” Hanna sighed.

“Yeah, well, when you’re a janitor, you do a lot of observing and listening.” He glanced away for a second.

“But it sounds like that Cardinal is very nice.” She changed the subject.

“Oh, yeah, I think he might even try listening to the song I was playing. And whenever we see each other again, he said he wanted to tell me what he thinks.” He fought the urge to smile.

“Well, I’m all for you actually getting along with your coworkers.”

He frowned lightly. “It’s not that I don’t get along with any of them. I’m just staying busy working and I know how my boss feels about me ‘slacking’ as she puts it…”

Hanna gave him a sympathetic look. “I just sometimes worry about you being lonely. Maybe this could turn into a nice work friendship…?”

“I don’t mind having time to myself, but I get what you’re saying. And who knows? Maybe this will turn into something more than a one-off meeting…” He murmured. “Either way, I’m glad I still have my job. He told me to be careful next time.”

“And he’s right. I don’t know why you thought it was a good idea to play there.” She facepalmed.

“But if I hadn’t been playing it, we wouldn’t have had that talk.” He pointed out.

Hanna scoffed and rolled her eyes. “Well, all things considered, I hope he keeps running into you, for your sake.”

Silas silently hoped so as well.

[2dkapsddr]

March 27th, 2024 - Arcaea, SDVX EG, CHUNITHM, DDR A3, IIDX 31

GOOD MORNING!! back with some more early morning arcaea, where i grinded for a bit and finally unlocked Aleph-0!

i still had a bunch of stamina after that (as you can see in the top left corner of the image above), so i continued the map to try and get that last warped shard. i focused on uppers to maximize my steps as well, and BOY HOWDY were they insane!! i should've toggled my PTT back on since i can't lose it unless i get an AA or below anyways, but yeah look at all this stuff!!! an EX+ on Ikazuchi and eden FTR-10, then an EX and immediately following it up with an EX+ on GENOCIDER FTR-10+, and then a slight upscore on XTREME FTR-10!

today i went thrifting with my mom to find an outfit for my toya cosplay for sakuracon, so conversely i took a break from arcaea (kinda) while i looked for clothes and compiled my outfit. on the initial way there however, i jconsumed a bit of stamina and got a sightread full recall on Aleph-0 FTR-10! my first 10 FR (somehow)! as well as a PM on Maze No.9 FTR-8+ :]

after we finished thrifting and got pretty much everything for the outfit, i got dropped off to eat and then GAME at round 1!!! continued to practice and hone my at SDVX (not really, i'm kinda just hyperfocused on getting coral VF right now), and so with it kinda came a few upscores! (i really need to learn how to warm up in these games...)

i went over to grind iidx as well for the event, but i also found an abandoned credit of chunithm and decided to get some extra training on it by picking World Vanquisher... which i felt i did really bad at, but still got an S rank somehow...

after that, i went to play iidx for real this time and... kinda also sucked at it! at this point, i really wasn't satisfied with my skill and felt like giving up. urgh... fortunately though, braving through this feeling and continuing to play despite it allows me to reach that potential i felt was missing!

switched over to play the last of the triple tribe games, and surprisingly the last one i needed for the last event song... DDR!!! i didn't take many score photos as there were many i wanted to run back and was mostly on a quest to reclaim my 15 and 16 clear lamps (which I did!), but i got this sick first try FC on Euphoric Fragmentation!!!

took a break to let others play a few sets while i grinded an arcaea map, and i eventually was forced by the map's restriction to get a PM on felys (final remix) FTR-9!!!! ...with barely any audio besides the tapping of my thumbs!!

after that, i went right back to DDR to finish the job and get that last set in for the triple tribe event, which -- turns out the set with the Euphoric Fragmentation FC did it -- and i finally got Ambivalent Vermilia!!! very fun but extremely exhausting charts on both Difficult and Expert hellyeah!! that's not the point of this next image though, which is actually focused on the extra/galaxy stage i'm about to show off... an FC on BLUE FOG, SILVER BULLET EDP-15!!! MY FIRST EVER DOUBLES FC!!! UPSCORED FROM A FAIL ON FLARE V!!!

one last ddr score cutoff to mention this really funny coincidence at round 1. so you know how i was playing SDVX earlier as if everything was normal? well, everything was still very much normal. except, in the time that i played, something weird changed with the sdvx cab. or should i say... CABS!!! i was sitting down and taking my public-arcade-mandated break from DDR when i looked over to the right at the SDVX cab to see how it was doing. i think i wanted to play a set maybe? i forgot, but what i saw wasn't someone playing on the cab. it wasn't even the cab staying on and playing its attract screen!

no, what i saw was one cab with a black, offline screen and, to my shock and surprise, ANOTHER CAB NEXT TO IT. this cab with its wooden panel for a screen was being worked on by several team mechanics as they moved everything around to make way for it. but no joke i thought i was hallucinating from my exhaustion when i saw it. unbelievable, it finally happened...

i tried waiting around for the cab to come online, but the card reader wasn't working for some reason so it was only the first cab that came back online and got played. regardless, i finally met a ddr local again for the first time in a while and played a few awesome sets with her, even getting a new 14 PFC from the new touhou pack!!! (as well as trying the inhuman challenge charts that came with the back, how the hell does o4ma have 6p on trance dance anarchy???)

whew, this post took forever to write, but it's over now thankfully!! for March 28th (today, as of when i'm writing this), it'll mostly be arcaea and proseka, but tomorrow is a huge day... as i'm finally going to Sakuracon in my thrifted Toya cosplay and playing ALL THE RHYTHM GAMES I CAN FIND!!! WOOOOO!!! Until then, see you next time on the dance floor!!

[wobblefloss]

STUFF I DIDN'T KNOW WHEN I WAS STILL ABLED...

You end up inventing a language.

.

Words and phrases I used before just do not cover these new chronic illness and disability sensations.

Explaining to doctors aside, because they need specifics and concrete examples and I end up talking to them in exhausting paragraphs and lists, I still want to have casual conversations with people who know and care about me. Who ask how I'm doing.

I need shorthand for recurring weirdness. So I burble something and if it sticks? Woo hoo! ¡Vocabulario!

I tell friends, "The bottom fell out," when my body has pulled the energy plug on my brain and I am powering down right now. Probably gonna sleep? Right here. Wherever that is.

I use "skittles everywhere," as a quick summary of 'yes, I had my thoughts together and it was a pretty good day, but I got confused about something suddenly--maybe it was an emotional hit? maybe a stress situation?'--and my thoughts scattered like I dropped a whole bowl of candies and no, I cannot do anything useful about it; I am gonna stand here and blink at this debris field for a bit cause I have completely forgotten what I was doing.' It's kinda like "the bottom fell out" but more about thoughts and not so much about energy.

There's words I picked up online in disability spaces like "spoons," "flares," "scrombled," and "potsie." (More about the legit joys of online community later.)

And then there's using words that everyone uses, but not how everyone uses. My energy is fragile today. My thoughts are just a crust, so I don't trust them to last. Oops, yeah. Fell through. Now ham-brain.

And it's communicating, but quick and kinda surface level.

Like, we all know "pins and needles" if, say, your foot falls asleep. But there's no cultural touchstone for, "my circulation is very poor today, so the weight of my blood is pooling in my lower limbs and I can literally feel myself getting dumber the longer I stand up because my brain is not getting enough oxygenated blood right now and it is kinda like drowning, yet there's no sense of breathing urgency or air hunger just now, but that part will be happening shortly because my heart rate is climbing and I'm starting to prickle with sweat."

So I just tell my loved ones, "Feelin' potsie," and they cut me some slack. And find me a chair. And that's good enough for now.

.

Being able to communicate with other people keeps me from despair, honestly. I recommend building your own language without shame.

.

Seems like something we should all know.

.

.

.

Disability happens to people without our control or consent. Every single disabled person has strong feelings about their own situation and I would not presume to talk about anyone’s thoughts but my own. But none of us chose to do life on hardmode, so if the world could listen this month, there’s a lot to say.

[system-of-a-feather]

I will say it is really wack experiencing a fused parts emotions for the first time. Some really small but stupid shit happened this morning with our internet provider where we were asking for them to schedule it to be turned off on 12/15, and they verified that, then turned it off today and made us run laps to get our internet back - normal adult stressors that no one likes

But Data as a part is (was?) really bad with OCPD rage for a lack of better words and would be easily extremely set off over people failing to do their part of their responsibilities right resulting in us having to pick up the slack - and this morning I was just sitting there like "God I am so angry that I almost would think I was XIV if I well - didn't know I wasn't XIV and that XIV is a lot more patient with this - and I would think I was Data with the content if I didn't well, know I was me" because I as a part (at least the current more prominent part, Riku TM) have a large deficiency in the ability to be angry properly - its not an emotion I really process well - so I was just looking at myself like "this is not a Riku TM thing to be like but I am still me"

And that shit was wack. It took me until calming down to fully realize that I think I was entirely experiencing full on emotions that Data would have while still being me and that was just a pretty wild thing.

I actually kinda forgot that Data has / had that capability to get that angry over things considering they tend to usually do that more as a ruse and defensive flare than actual and Im just like huh. That intense hatred and sudden intense exhaustion and distaste for having to live in a world with other people and having to rely on others out of nowhere huh.

I'm feeling Data stuff with it 100% feeling like me and MY emotions and its so wack.

Being trauma-angry is also a new thing for me and Im like HUH.

WACK.

-Riku

[riddlegecko]

hi ok if you're still taking fic asks maybe one where ziggs has to take some time off from farmhanding (thats not a word is it)/graphic designing bc they're like sick or injured or smth and they're worried Emma'll be mad but instead she just goes Full Mom Friend Mode? idk Emma gives the vibe of being secretly a mom friend but if you tell anyone she'll end you so I Would Like To See It

To say that it was hot outside today would be an understatement. By the time noon came around, it was already well over ninety degrees, and it showed no signs of cooling down. Emma was planning on harvesting the crops today, as the Witchwood soil had once again worked it's magic and produced a flourishing crop in record time. But first, lunch.

"Yo, Ziggs!" she called out as she left the house, eyes scanning the farmland for her employee. "We're heading into town for lunch today before harvest time, you gotta taste for anything?"

No response. Huh. Maybe they just had their earbuds in?

"Ziggs?" she called out again, raising her volume slightly. Again, silence. Emma felt a slight twinge of worry. "Ziggy?"

Where was that kid? She should've at least been able to see them in the field, but they were nowhere to be seen. Did they head inside to use the bathroom, and Emma just didn't notice? No, she'd passed by the bathroom on the way out here, and the lights were off...

With an odd feeling of dread in her gut, Emma trekked out onto the field in search of her farmhand. Occasionally calling out their name, Emma kept her eyes peeled as she walked along the fence surrounding her crops. But once again, she could neither see or hear them. That is, until...

"Emma...?" a fatigued, yet familiar voice called out. "That... that you?"

"Ziggy!?" Emma exclaimed, looking around frantically. "Where are you!?"

"By the... the..." Ziggs slurred out warily. They paused. "Over here..."

Following the sound of the farmhand's voice, Emma ran to the other end of the field, before seeing Ziggs sitting up against the barn. They wore a pained, exhausted expression, blinking slowly and heavily. And upon getting closer, Emma realized just how shallow their breathing sounded. Panic flaring in her chest, she ran over to sit down beside them.

"Ziggs!?" she said, eyeing them up and down. "What happened!? Are you okay!?"

"I, uh..." Ziggs began, putting a hand to their temples. "It was hot out, and I started t' feel kinda shitty, y'know? So I went back to the house t' get a drink of water, but I couldn't get th' door open..."

Emma cocked her head to the side. "Ziggs, this is the barn," she said. "Not the house."

"Wha...?" they huffed out, looking at the large wooden structure they'd propped themself up against. They then winced, clutching their stomach. "Ugh, fuck..."

"Whoa, what's wrong?" Emma asked, concerned.

"Feels like I'm gonna be sick again..." Ziggs replied through gritted teeth. Again? How long had they been out here like this? "Sh-shit..."

Mind racing, Emma thought over the situation. Okay, so first of all, Ziggs was clearly delirious, what with the slurred speech and the confusion. Second, they were apparently nauseous with abdominal cramps. Third, they seemed to have a headache based on how they'd been rubbing their temples. Emma placed a cautious hand on their forehead. Not only was their skin cold and clammy, but it was slick with sweat.

"Shit, I think you're suffering from heat exhaustion!" Emma said, retracting her hand. She then draped her arm over their shoulders. "C'mon, we gotta get you inside, ASAP."

~

Getting Ziggs back to the house from the other side of the farm hadn't been an easy task. The moment they stood up, they'd gotten incredibly dizzy, and they'd thrown up seconds later. And with Ziggs being so tall and lanky, guiding them back to the house with most of their weight being supported by the much shorter Emma was a bit of a chore. But despite all that, Emma managed to get them back inside the air-conditioned house. Carefully, she guided them over to the tattered couch.

"Okay, lay down right here," she told them, grabbing a throw pillow to prop up under their feet. She had to keep their legs elevated. Why? She wasn't sure, but she'd dealt with heat exhaustion enough times in Guatemala to know what she was doing. "I'm gonna get you a glass of water, do you feel like you're gonna be sick again?"

"Don't think so..." Ziggs mumbled in reply, one hand plastered to their sweaty forehead.

"O-okay, good," Emma sighed, nodding. "I'll be right back."

Mind on auto-pilot, she rushed to the kitchen, grabbed a tall glass, and filled it with cold water from the tap. Wanting to play it safe, she retrieved a tray from the freezer, and plopped a small handful of ice cubes into the glass. But before heading back out to the living room, she paused to think. It was around lunchtime, and though she doubted Ziggs had much of an appetite right now, better safe than sorry. She grabbed a bowl and a bag of pretzels from the pantry, and poured a small serving in. Not much of a lunch, but eating something salty was best for heat exhaustion.

Satisfied, Emma grabbed the glass and the bowl, and made her way back out to the living room. She could see that Ziggs had apparently removed the shirt they'd been wearing under their Grateful Dead tee while Emma was out of the room. God, no fucking wonder they got heat exhaustion, who layers their clothes in temperatures like this!? Whatever. She could be mad at them for that later, when she wasn't worried sick. Placing the bowl of pretzels on the coffee table, she sat on the floor beside the sofa.

"Here," she said, handing Ziggs the water as they propped themself up slightly on their elbows. "Drink slowly, we don't want you ralphing on my carpet."

Ziggs gave a weak chuckle as they brought the glass to their lips and carefully sipped the ice water inside. Placing the cup on a coaster, they flopped back down onto the couch with a huff.

"How's that?" Emma asked gently. "Feel a little better?"

"Kinda," Ziggs replied in a tired tone. They looked over at Emma, an almost guilty look in their eyes. "'M sorry..."

Emma blinked in surprise. "Motherfucker, you got heat exhaustion while under my watch, and you're apologizing to me!?" she scoffed, incredulous. Ziggs gave a slight smile. "What for!?"

"Holding things up," Ziggs explained. "You wanted to harvest today, but you got stuck having to care for my overheated ass instead."

"Oh, shut up," Emma huffed in a teasing tone, lightly squeezing her farmhand's shoulder. "I can harvest the crops tomorrow. Right now, my top priority is making sure my farmhand doesn't get heatstroke."

Ziggs nodded weakly. "Alright," they conceded. "But I'm putting in extra tomorrow to make up for it."

"Uh, absolutely not?" Emma protested. "Heat exhaustion can make you more susceptible to illness the next day, and I'm not taking that chance. You're getting the day off tomorrow, whether you like it or not!"

"Okay, okay!" Ziggy snickered, sluggishly holding their hands up in surrender. They looked back at Emma once more, earnestly. "Don' think I've ever seen you panic like this before, Perky."

"Yeah, don't tell anyone or I'll kick your fuckin' ass," Emma fired back playfully, earning yet another tired chuckle out of Ziggs. "But for real, get some rest and drink your water. We're gonna chill for a little bit."

Deciding that she could afford to turn in early today, Emma ended up spending the rest of the day alongside Ziggs, making sure they recovered well. The two spent most of that time watching Netflix, with Emma up on her feet in seconds whenever Ziggs needed something. She wasn't sure when exactly she started caring so much about her farmhand over the Summer, but she wasn't complaining. Not in the slightest.

[nose-bandaid]

a hug per dollar

hello! it's me, the platonic anon from before... may i request a non-romantic, changgu & gender-neutral reader, coffee/study date? and maybe you could work in a reassuring hug 🥺 thank you so much 💛

Yeo One (Changgu) x (gender neutral) Reader | Platonic fluff + comfort?! | 1.8k words

synopsis: overworking can sometimes be an easy, but terrible habit to fall into, but luckily, changgu is there to drag you out when you do.

a/n: lol i think i projected this to have 1.2k but it ended up with 1.8 but i am not complaining !!!! to my dear platonic anon, sorry this took so long ksdhfkdsj i hope you enjoy it !! i may or may not have done an uno reverse on stud.hui.o fanatic because now it is the reader who's overworking BAM 💛

=====

"Don't you think we've been here for long enough?"

Your hand stopped writing the flurry of notes and you looked at your friend, who peered back at you over his laptop. "Changgu, it's literally only been..."

You flipped your phone over to look at the time on its display and faltered when you realized just how late into the day it was. "I guess we have been here for a while."

"Which is exactly why I think we should—"

"But I'm not ready to leave yet!" You snapped back, immediately backing off when you realized how harsh your voice was.

"You didn't get much sleep last night, did you?" He pressed on and you buried your face back into the piles of work laid in front of you.

"We don't talk about that either."

He let you be and the two of you went back to working in silence for the next while until Changgu eventually got up from his seat. Your eyes followed him as he stretched and let out a sigh. "I'm gonna go to the bathroom."

"Okay." You replied, and returned to your work.

=====

Not long after, a juice box slid into your view and you looked up at Changgu who returned after his bathroom break that took much longer than a usual bathroom break would've taken. You quirked an eyebrow in his direction.

"You got juice from the bathroom?"

He laughed and you took note of the other juice box in his hand — the exact same flavour as yours. "Of course I did. They added vending machines in the bathroom recently, didn't you know that?"

You decided to play along. "Is that so? No, I didn't know that. But do enlighten me as to why you would ever trust a vending machine located in the bathroom."

He laughed at your small jest. "Nah, I just went on an adventure to grab us some fuel." He dropped back into his seat and let out a relieved hum as he stared at his laptop. "After finishing that stupid essay I think I deserved the treat."

"You know, if you're done working you can always head back first. I'm fine on my own."

He shook his head adamantly at your offer. "This is our study session, you know? It's a we thing," he emphasized that with a point to the table. "So I'm not leaving until you're also done."

You sent him a small smile in appreciation and returned to your textbook, taking a small sip from the juice box as you did. It was refreshing and in the back of your mind, you wondered how he knew this was your favourite flavour. You didn't recall ever telling him.

"Though I think you've done more than enough work for today."

You didn't miss the next thing he muttered quietly.

"Look, Changgu, I'll just finish this chapter and we can call it today, okay?" You desperately held up a finger to assist in your pleading.

"One chapter and one chapter only." He reluctantly gave in, deciding to get a head start on another assignment in the meanwhile. Once again, you settled back into a comfortable silence, listening to the distant voices of others in the library.

You ended up finishing that chapter quicker than you initially thought you would and it flared up a new flame of determination within you. You could cram in a few more chapters then, right? You'll get them done in no time, especially with the flow you had now.

Agreeing with yourself, you got started right away.

You're pretty sure Changgu noticed when you flipped the page again.

And again.

And again.

Surely he's noticed the way you're slouched over a bit more now, the way your eyes were drooping and your gaze became unfocused. The way you've hardly touched the bag of snacks since he opened it. But you kept on going. Your determination knew no limits and you kept on going despite all the rational part of you that screamed at you to stop.

...Now, where did you leave off before you started daydreaming?

Right, at the end of this paragraph. You returned to staring at the mundane words in the textbook. You swore you were almost finished with this page but you also told yourself that what felt like hours ago. No matter how many times you read the same sentence over and over again, the words never seemed to stick in your mind. Your hand couldn't figure out what to write and what to leave out. All of it seemed important and you cursed the way your next exam weighed so much and yet gave you such vague preparation instructions. If only you had started studying earlier... but wasn't one week enough? Maybe you just weren't fit for this? Probably, because —

Changgu placed his hand onto yours. He gently pulled the pen out of your grasp and gestured for you to look at him.

"Let's take a break, you have no say in it. Seeing you like this makes me exhausted, I can't take this anymore."

No matter how many times you've drilled into your mind that it was absolutely not okay to take a break, the moment you heard the words from someone else, your composure crumbled.

You let out a deep sigh and let your weight rest on the table. "Yeah let's."

Changgu helped you pack your work away after cleaning up his own and waited until you were fully ready. When you slid the chair back to its former home, he held out a hand for you to take and you happily took a place by his side.

"Are you going to take me on another adventure?" You playfully asked, already feeling a little better now that your work was tucked away.

He shrugged. "Honestly, I had no clue where I was going to take you 'cause I didn't think you'd actually stop studying. But sure! Let's make this an adventure."

Stepping outside, you realized how much nicer it was to have a change of scenery. It was already late afternoon, the sun shining brightly above, engulfing you in a pleasant kind of warmth.

You sighed inwardly, this would've been more relaxing if your mind would just stop drifting back to all the work you still to be done. Hadn't you done enough? You worked so hard for the past who-knows-how-many-hours and yet it only left you unsatisfied and even more stressed.

Maybe it just wasn't enough.

A gentle bop on your head brought you out of your thoughts and you stared at Changgu, his hand still raised from bonking your bad thoughts away.

"Stop thinking so much." He crossed his arms and looked at you pointedly.

"Huh?"

Squinting his eyes, his face leaned into yours, getting closer and closer, and you found yourself edging away from the intrusion. Just as quickly as it started, he suddenly disappeared, straightening his back again and letting out a huff.

"Just as I thought."

"What?" You asked again, still lost.

"You're thinking bad things about yourself again! Stop that."

"How did you know?"

He playfully punched your shoulder at that. "I'm your best friend, you think I wouldn't notice these things? You always have this expression on your face when you're beating yourself up. Looks kinda stupid."

Your mouth gaped at his remark. "Hey!'

"I'm kidding, you never look stupid," he smiled and continued. "But what is stupid is you thinking that you're not good enough because you can't keep up with everything that's going on. Can you really blame yourself if some uncontrollable force decided to dump an unreasonable amount of work on you all at once? You're doing your best, which is one, really paying off because I swear you've covered like a billion chapters today. And two, is extremely cool — I heard the group studying behind us gush about how hard you were working and guess what?"

"...What?" You asked hesitantly, still trying to recover from your friend's spiel.

Changgu grabbed your shoulders to keep your attention. "I also think you're really really cool!!" He announced loudly, capturing the attention of a mother and her daughter nearby. They walked away after the initial surprise.

Your lip trembled, not even having it within you to be embarrassed by his public confession. Instead, you were overwhelmed by his kindness. "Changgu..."

He pulled you into a hug and you basked in his presence. The faint smell of fresh laundry lingered on his hoodie and you melted into his comfort. "You're doing great, and you'd be doing even better if you let yourself breathe for a moment. As overwhelming as it may feel, the only thing that's going to bring you down is yourself if you keep on going at this rate — not your work." He gently scolded before he pulled away and cupped your face, eyes boring into yours.

"Got that?"

You nodded hesitantly. "Yes."

"I don't know... that wasn't really convincing..."

You laughed lightly and pushed his hands away from you. "I got it, I got it, Changu. Thank you so much." You found yourself much more relaxed after your talk. "From studying with me to buying me snacks and comforting me... aargh, I appreciate it."

Changgu simply gave you a bright smile. "Anything for you."

That was all he said, but those 3 words were enough to express just how much you meant to each other.

"Besides, I don't think of it as a chore, any time spent with you is great."

You pouted. "You're too good for me, seriously. How can I make it up to you?"

In all honesty, you expected him to dismiss the question, but instead, Changgu's eyes wandered off as he placed a finger on his chin. "Well, I did notice that my favourite drink is on sale when I passed by that cafe on the way here..."

You sent him an amused look. "The juice wasn't enough?"

"Are you telling me to pass on a sale that takes a whole dollar off?"

Once again, you found yourself playing along with his act and your eyes widened. "Oh geez, you're right, we can't miss out on that." Pushing Changgu from behind, you ushered him forward. "Let's get moving! We spent so much time in the library the shop's going to close by the time we get there."

Changgu chuckled as you caught up and fell into step with his movements. "I'm glad to see that you're back to normal."

"And I'm glad we get to save a buck on overpriced drinks. Thanks for everything, Changgu." You swiftly replied and he sent a smile your way.

"Anytime."

[scarecoen]

Trigger warning ⚠️ domestic violence.

I've typed this story a million times so I'm just going to summarize as much as I can.

A few days ago I was assaulted by my partner's family members. And as I've mentioned, I've typed this a million times and I'm honestly just exhausted thinking about it, but we could use some help.

My partner has always had a transphobic family. (I don't have anyone but my dad, who's in no position to help anyone.)

Her mom used her disability against her and manipulated her into giving her MOST of her checks. She's abused the system and my girlfriend.

When I met Jackie, she was with a terrible biggot. Jackie had came out, and her mother conspired with an abusive long distance ex, to fly her here, to stage an "intervention" and stop my partner from transitioning.

It worked. For years.

I met Jackie here on tumblr, we became good, SECRET friends because she wasn't allowed to talk to anyone.

I told Jackie openly about my views regarding gender and how I myself, was not cis.

Eventually she told her partner about us playing games together, which she responded to by harassing me.

Jackie ended up spilling the beans to me, about her mom, about the ex, everything. I realized that she had been extremely isolated and controlled her whole life.

So I intervened.

I got the two of them to separate, which wasn't smooth because Jackie was scared. She had been with her abuser for 9 years at this point. She's never known anything else.

The ex moved back to her state, and I started seeing Jackie, although she was stuck at her mom's... who was trying to play innocent at this time.

Eventually, I kinda just came and picked her up, she stayed the night, she didn't want to go back home. And I can't blame her. The house wasn't only disgusting, her family microagressed her all the time and they would tell her to pretty much stay in a dark room all day.

Ofc I didn't bring her back.

During early quarantine, we had a lot of self reflection and she started distancing herself from her mother, coming around to holding her accountable for her horrible actions.

Her mom messaged her things like "Why won't you talk to me? It's like you're trying to punish us!" Ect, just every fucking manipulative thing she could say, without ever apologizing.

Unfortunately the place we were staying fell through when my best friend's ex husband decided he wants a divorce and decided to throw in some transphobic hatespeach towards me.

We were all looking for somewhere to go.

I'm sure you know where this is going but listen, she told us EVERYTHING we wanted to hear. She told us she's not hateful now, told us she would go to trans support groups, pride, said she's realized how much she loves Jackie and it's time to accept her- and look- we had NO WHERE TO GO. We have 2 cats and at the time, a car that has no a/c or functional locks. AND I have a chronic autoimmune condition that I recently started taking chemo meds for. (Methotrexate.)

I'm too sick to be on the street, and survive. I had to think about me, Jackie, Zoe, and Boops.

And Jackie wanted to go..

I told her we'd be cautious and try to get out asap.

Well, looking for places right when the housing market crashed really fucked us up. That- and because I had only just finally got approved for disability, means I was set back in life- and had no credit to my name. No credit= no place to live.

I had almost built enough, but things went down hill very quickly with her family. Which leads us to right now:

After weeks of microagressions, giving us breakthrough covid cases, yelling at us to clean other's messes, and forcing us and our cats to isolate in our room, many broken promises, and straight up transphobic hatespeach (because she promised to get vaccinated but then said nvm as soon as we moved in and she went on vacation and got covid and gave it to us, which nearly killed me--) she said not getting the vaccine "IS A CHOICE, JUST LIKE YOU BEING TRANS AND TAKING *gestures to my testosterone* THOSE DRUGS."

We just were avoiding each other while I desperately try to gather resources for us to get out, NOW.

Of course, that wasn't good enough, so when her step father messaged her in all caps about our cats having to stay in our room and "I WON'T FUCKING TELL YOU AGAIN" my partner had a breakdown..

Her mom had let her step dad talk to her like this her whole life, basically.

Out of desperation, we went to her sister for help, maybe hoping she'd give us a place to stay for two weeks while we sign off on the lease for our new apartment.

She pretended to want to help and even said... something fucking weird? She made the comment that I'm a good person and I'm so much like her own boyfriend, that it's "scary"...

A few hours later she came to the house. She talked nicely to us, to gain access to our bedroom.

Then she attacked me.

I called the police right before, and was on the phone with dispatch when she lunged at me because she was aggressively trying to MAKE Jackie go into a separate room WITHOUT ME and Jackie was saying no, BEGGING her to STOP.

I wasn't going to let her take Jackie into that room. She looked fucking crazy.

All of the family came into our room, her two sisters, her mom, and her cousin- When they heard yelling.

It was actually me telling her mom that she's a terrible mother, that triggered her sister to try and attack me- although I knew she was planning on trying to from the moment she came into our room.

And that was after her mom was screaming in my face that if I have something to say, say it now.

Dispatch heard everything and sent emt as well...

But the police stayed outside, talking to them for a WHILE before even asking for us.

Her cousin is the only one that would have stood up for me, saying her sister never should have tried to hit me. But he was in the room with Jackie, giving her support...

I faced the cops alone.

He already had "that look."

He shined a light into my eye, letting the family stay on the porch, throwing insults and just letting it happen. He asked me where I'm hurt, and before I could even show him the scratches on my arm, he said "how do I know YOU didn't put those there?"

I wanted to fucking die in that moment.

This is a conservative city.

No one has equality stickers here. No one flies gay flags. People here that are lgbt- they LEAVE.

This is EXACTLY WHY.

I said "well is there any reason I should tell you anything when, clearly, you're already bias?"

I looked at the emts. I looked at his partner. I looked at all the lights and people coming out of their houses-

And behind me was her family.

Her sister that assaulted me, was laughing about having work in the morning.

All of them were looking at me, with hate in their eyes.

He tried to feed me bullshit about "well if I'm taking someone to jail, there has to be proof."

He dismissed everything I attempted to say, until I just stared at the ground and he decided he did his job here.

I told him my whole fucking body hurts because I had 4 people fucking toss my 100lbs ass all over the fucking room, which was a mess that he refused to look at.

He said "I don't see bruises."

I SPAT "BRUISES TAKE TIME?"

He retorted IMMEDIATELY- "YOU'RE NOT EVEN RED."

I asked what about the dispatcher- she seemed concerned- to which he said "you see, sometimes when people call us- they scream and be dramatic- for a quicker response."

I asked what we could do while the two weeks go by for our new place, and he fucking said "I DONT KNOW. BARRICADE YOURSELF IN YOUR ROOM OR SOMETHING."

Needless to say, we are now safe, in a hotel and I've gotten in touch with a few lgbt organizations that are attempting to help us get justice.

Unfortunately because it's a holiday weekend, all we can do is wait right now.

Our first order of business is getting a protection order, so that we can retrieve the rest of our things without her sister trying to attack us again. (I say us because she kept jumping towards Jackie, like she was threatening to hit her.)

I've been so gaslit and victim blamed that I was too scared to go to the er, even though this all happened in the midst of a flare, possibly including my liver health.

There's so much more to this story, as I'm sure other trans people can relate.. unfortunately.

The emts reluctantly offered to take me to the er, but I was like "and leave my partner here with them?" And he just fucking shrugged dude.

I hate this city.

I want out so bad but unfortunately I've committed to a year, but at least it'll be *our* apartment.

We could NOT stay there for two more weeks. Her step dad is a violent offender that has attempted to murder a homeless prostitute over some fucking pocket change- and he has a GUN in the house.

This hotel might run us into a hole, despite it being the cheapest, shittiest hotel in town, it's still going to be about 700$ for ONE week.

To ADD INSULT TO INJURY, SOMEONE ATTEMPTED TO STEAL MY VEHICLE WHILE WE'VE BEEN STAYING HERE.

I'm feeling incredibly paranoid and unsafe, but I'm on anxiety meds now at least and its SORTA helping us cope (My partner and I have the same Dr and she gave her permission to have some.)

The organization BRAVO is trying to help us with a hotel voucher, but because of all the natural disasters, it's hard to find room in charity for people like us, which is fair enough. We aren't immediately on the street, and for that I'm incredibly thankful.

However, if you or anyone you know wish to help you can donate to venmo: kittyzibby. Or you could just signal boost this.

If you can't help, I understand. And IF YOU'RE STRUGGLING FINANCIALLY, don't worry about it, for real.

Right now I'm just scared we'll go into debt before getting the apartment settled in.

I will update on things once our case moves along more, and we were already considering turning to OF sexwork before all of this, so if there could be support that way, maybe we'll get that going once we get moved in. That way, I feel good about providing a service in return.

Thank you so much for sticking with us during all of this. And really- we're doing much better today. We've given each other pep talks, but we are still determined to start our lives together.

Her family was merely trying to scare me away from her, but I got my girl's name tatted on me for a reason.

I know I'm not the bad person here.

Every time Jackie is feeling more gender euphoric, and showing me her changes, and seeing her get more confident, the more I know that what I'm doing with and for her, is right.

I love her so much. And I will never abandon her, like they tried to get me to do.

Jackie is taking a break from some socials, but she's given me permission to talk about what's been happening.

She needs justice too.

I will update as much as I can, but seriously, I think we both just have a fire under our asses now.

Mentally, we're stronger than ever.

Thank you for reading. My heart really goes out to the rest of the queer community that have experienced or are going through similar things.

It's really made me realize why we need to stick together and fight this bigotry bullshit! 🏳️‍⚧️🏳️‍����

[jj-iz-bae]

Don't tell me not to worry

Word count: 1722 words

Requested by @sunwardsss : Can you do comfort 38 and 43 for Chase please? 38: “I’m in the hospital.”43: “You don’t have to sleep here just because I got admitted.”

Pairings: Chase Stokes x Reader; Chase Stokes x Rudy Pankow; Rudy Pankow x platonic!reader

Warnings: Hospitals,seizures,Fluff,bad spelling and grammar

Note from author: so this is actually based on a seizure episode I had. It only happend one time and was caused by strep throat which triggered a reaction in the auto immune disorder (the disorder basically is that instead of my immune system attacking the virus or illness, my immune system attacks my brain causing all sorts of weird things to happen. When I was younger only strep throat triggered a "flare" of increased symptoms ie ocd,anxiety,age regression,mood swings,foggy brain and other things. Sadly the disorder has developed so that I flare with any illness, not just strep) ANYWAYS 😂 I hope you enjoy this Fluff with a tiny pinch of angst. Just a tiny bit if you squint. Ace is my nickname for Chase and I've used it in other blurbs. I just think it's cute. Kinda like how I call Rudy Panky🙃

Chase was wrapping up a day on set, shoving all his belongings into a backpack. He slung the backpack over his shoulder and grabbed his keys ,leaving his casting trailer when his phone started ringing. He just realized he hadn’t heard from you all day. Seeing your name flash across the screen, he stopped in his tracks and answered. “Hey baby girl! I haven’t heard from you all day!” Chase exclaimed as he started to kick a rock around with his foot. “Sorry Ace. Please don’t freak out.I’m totally fine now but I'm in the hospital.” you explained slowly. Chase’s eyes grew large as he starred jogging to his car. "Don't tell me not to worry baby! Where are you? What happened?" Chase asked as he reached his car and fumbled with the keys, trying to move quickly in his panicked state. He swore under his breath as he dropped his keys and put you on speaker phone while he picked up his keys. You heard the rustling on the other end of the phone and grew nervous. "Chase! Babe are you OK? Calm down I promise I'm OK!" Rudy just so happened to be walking to his car when he heard your voice and saw Chase cursing at his car keys. "Hey dude! What's going on? You OK?" Rudy asked as he walked over to Chase. "Rudy! Y/n's in the hospital and I need to...I just can't.." Chase stuttered. Rudy grabbed the keys out of his hands. "I'll drive. You just talk to her." Rudy threw his stuff in the back of Chase's car as he hopped into the drivers seat and Chase ran around to the passenger seat. "OK sorry babe. Rudy is driving cause you're freaking me out. What happened?" Chase asked, running his hand through his wavy hair as Rudy pulled out of the set parking lot. "Thanks for taking care of him Rudy! I swear I'm fine! I'm at St. Marcus hospital. I think it's pretty close to town." Rudy picked up his phone and pulled up directions on his GPS before placing his phone in the cup holder so he could see the map. "No problem hun! Now tell us what happened before Chase pulls his hair out." Rudy answered ."Yeah you're scaring the shit out of me,Baby girl." Chase let out a breathy giggle.

"OK. Well I had my mom over and we were just hanging out watching TV and everything went black. Everything sounded echoey and I tried to open my eyes but it was like i had no control. I started convulsing and got sick. Mom called an ambulance and they brought me to the ER. The Er sent me here so I've been in the ambulance twice today!" You sighs. Chase nervously picked at his lips. "So what does that mean? Like did they run any tests yet?" Chase asked as Rudy broke a few traffic laws to get him to you quicker. "They have me hooked up to all these monitors and I'm going for an MRI tomorrow. The doctor said I most likely had a seizure." You explained as you looked at all the wires and iv lines covering your body. Chase let out a breathe that he didn't know he was holding. "OK baby. We will figure this out! Rudy, how far away are we?" Chase looked over at the blonde with red eyes, on the verge of tears. "It's right up here on the left." Rudy mumbled as he leaned over the steering wheel to make sure it was clear to turn. "OK babe. We just pulled into the parking lot. Where do I go?" Chase asked as he unbuckled his seat belt. "I'm on the 7th floor room 54." You said yawning. Rudy pulled up to the main entrance and stopped the car. "Go ahead man. I'll park the car and meet you up there." Rudy explained as Chase gave him a quick hug and jumped out of the car and jogged to the entrance. "OK I'm getting in the elevator now. Ill see you in 2 seconds OK? I'll be right there!" Chase babbled on as he put the phone up to his ear, taking it off speaker. "So how was work?" You asked trying to distract him a little. "Y/n as much as I wanna tell you about my day, I can't remember shit right now." Chase smirked as you hummed in response.

The elevator dinged and Chase got off the elevator and walked up to the nurses station. He put his phone on his shoulder so he wouldn't look rude for not giving the nurse his full attention. "Hello miss! My girlfriend is here somewhere. Room 54. Her name is y/f/n y/l/n. I can give you her birthday if you want to verify I'm not some weirdo." Chase said talking a mile a minute. The nurse just smiled and got up from her desk. "You must be Chase! She told us you were coming! Said you'd be the tall surfer guy with the chocolate brown eyes. Follow me." The nurse smiled before walking down the hall with Chase on her heels. She got to a door and knocked lightly before opening it. "Hey y/n! Surfer boy is here!" The nurse giggled as Chase walked through the door and the nurse closed it behind him. You were laying in the hospital bed with leads attached to your chest and stomach. You also had an iv in her arm and a couple stickers with wires on her head. Upon seeing Chase, you total lost all your composure and started sobbing. Chase rushed over to your side and gently hugged you close. "It's OK baby. I'm here. I've got you." Chase cooed as tears started to run down his face. You scooted over on the bed making room for Chase to lay down. He carefully made sure all the leads were out of the way and nothing was being pulled before tucking you into his chest. " It was so scary! I didn't know what was happening or why." You sniffed as you snuggled into his chest. "Shhhh. It's OK now. It's over. You're here now ad we will figure out what happened and why. Just relax baby." Chase cooed as he rubbed your back. A soft knock made you jump in your sleepy state. Chase said come in before kissing the top of your head, noticing the jolt of your body at the sudden noise. Rudy entered the room with Chase's backpack on his shoulder. "Hey y/n. How you feeling, sweetheart?" Rudy asked in a soft voice as he crouches down next to the bed. "I'm exhausted and confused as to what happened but I feel ok. Thank you for making sure Ace got here OK. I really appreciate it." You said while reaching out to grab Rudy's hand. "No problem at all! JD is coming to pick me up so Chase's car is here." Rudy explained before putting Chase's backpack down. "I thought you might want your bag." Rudy nods to Chase as he stands up. "Thanks man. I owe you one." Chase bumped his fist to Rudy's. "No you don't! You would have done the same for me. You rest up OK y/n? Don't let this guys puppy energy keep you up." Rudy said pointing between the two of you, which made you let out a small chuckle. "He smells like the ocean and is warm. I think I'll have no trouble falling asleep." You mumbles as you snuggles into Chase's chest again. Chase smirks ,holding you close. Rudy's phone dings and he waves good bye so he doesn't disturb the half asleep girl on Chase's chest.

You awoke from your nap to Chase still at your side. You smile up at him. "Sorry I fell asleep on you. You didn't have to stay." Chase opened his eyes lazily, drawing shapes on your arm with his finger. "No way am I leaving you baby. But since you're awake now. I really need to pee." Chase chuckled as he slowly scooted off the bed and walked to the bathroom on the other side of the room. You turned on the TV and sat up a little, looking at the screens and wires all around you. Chase came out of the bathroom, tossing a paper towel into the trash bin, before grabbing his bag from next to the bed. He pulled out his charger and plugged your phone in before putting it down on the table next to you.As he placed the bag down and sat next to you on the bed, a nurse knocked and entered the room. "Hey you two! I have extra sheets and blankets for you! This chair fold out into a lounger so you both don't have to smush together all night." The nurse explained as she sat the extra blankets and linen on the chair. "Thank you so much!" Chase beamed as the nurse came over to your bed side to check all your vitals. "Is there anything I should look for overnight?" Chase asked the nurse."Well if she has any convulsions or gets sick, press this call button." The nurse said pointing to the red button on the wall. "Other than that, if anything has you worried press the button and we will come make sure everything is OK." The nurse smiled as she finished getting your blood pressure and typed the vitals into her laptop before leaving the room. Chase got up from his seat on the bed and opened up the lounger chair, putting on the different sheets ad blankets. "You know, you don't have to sleep here just because I was admitted." You smile watching his basically throw blankets round until he was satisfied. He came and laid down next to you again before pecking your lips. "I told you ,baby. I'm here with you for everything. We'll figure this out together." Chase cooed as he pulled you closer and watched SpongeBob with you on his chest, running his ringers through your hair. "I love you, Ace." You said before kissing his hand. "I love you more,Baby girl."

*photo cred to pintrest*

Taglist:

@afterglowsb-tch13 @cherryobx @sunwardsss @yourlocalauthor @starkeymarkey @k-k0129 @royalpogue @ilovejjmaybank @beatement-l @miniatureauthorpartyspy @bxmaaa @allielozoya @shawnsthighs @i-love-scott-mccall @lilbabyharrys @dannii-li

Comment tag list on any of my writing to be added❤️

[hopelesshawks]

Did I see bnha match up!? Yes please :) I'm a women in my late 20s, half Irish half Scottish, kinda baby faced, green eyes, glasses, brunette but constantly dye my hair (currently fire engine red). I'm the mum friend, but will laugh if you fall over(while helping you back on your feet). Only way to truly piss me off is to hurt my family(I count my small circle of close friends part of my family too). Can be very sarcastic with people that know me. I give great advice, according to my family/friends but I'm terrible at sorting my own shit out. Also chronically ill, Fibromyalgia and awaiting Ehlers Danlos Syndrome testing, I don't really remember what not being in pain feels like. I'm very stubborn, and hate asking for help. I adore children/babies/any animal. Sometimes prefare the company of my dog over people(an introvert at heart). I love to read, and sing(can kinda hold a tune). Terrible at cooking but I'm a decent baker. I give my everything in a relationship, but also expect the same dedication from my partner. Kinda hate my body, broad shoulders and hips, hourglass shaped, but have more belly and thigh than I'd like. Love lanuage is gentle touches and soft loving words. Would like a male pairing please :) Sorry for the wall of text!

400 Follower Matchup Event

Don’t apologize! The more info the easier it is for me to match you with someone ❤️ (and hopefully the more accurate?)

I match you with Midoriya! He’d be patient with you even at your most stubborn and would 100% be just as devoted to you and the relationship as you would be. Not to mention you both share the fierce desire to protect those you’re close to.

Today has been a rough day.

Your fibromyalgia is flaring up more than usual, pain coursing through your body and exhaustion making you feel heavy. Getting out of bed seems a difficult enough feat without trying to add productivity on it, so you’d cancelled your plans with your boyfriend citing an abundance of work to get through, and resigned yourself to a day spent in bed. You saw no reason to tell Izuku the real reason behind your absence. It would only make him worry and you were well accustomed to pain after having spent so long grappling with your chronic illness. That’s not to say a part of you wouldn’t appreciate the company, but you can handle it just fine yourself and the last thing you want is to bother anyone with a problem they can’t really solve anyway. A day in with just you and your dog would do the trick just fine and hopefully tomorrow would be better.

Or so you had planned.

Right around the time Deku usually gets off patrol you heard the sound of your front door opening. Before you could panic your dog was racing to the front door and shortly afterwards the sounds of excited yipping greet your ears. You roll your eyes, already knowing who your surprise visitor must be, even as a fond smile tries to stretch your face. Sure enough, Izuku walks into your room with a large duffel bag thrown over one shoulder. “Izu you didn’t have to-” you begin but your boyfriend pays you no mind as he drops the bag onto the ground with a heavy thud, his mind already whirling a mile a minute as he begins to ramble.

“Ok so I’ve been doing some research and I’m sure you’ve done the same research and I don’t want to tell you how you should be taking care of yourself because you know best and what’s better for you is better for you so if you want to tell me to shut up that’s ok and I won’t be hurt or offended because it’s your body your choice! I actually don’t think that’s the right phrasing to use here but that’s not important ANYWAY I’ve been doing some research on fibromyalgia and they were saying that relaxation and minor exercise can help with the pain and before you say anything I know that must be why you cancelled because you told me you were ahead on work a couple days ago and I memorized your work schedule so nothing should have suddenly come up since we talked last night so I was thinking we could try doing some light yoga if you’re feeling up for it and then maybe I could try-“

“Oh my god, Izu breathe,” you cut him off before he can drop any further down the rabbit hole. “Sorry, I just didn’t want you dealing with this alone and I guess I got carried away,” he admits sheepishly, moving to sit beside you on the bed. “Baby I appreciate it but this isn’t why I gave you a key to my apartment. I’ll be fine you know, you didn’t have to come help me,” you insist, although the gesture has touched you all the same.

He gives you a soft smile at the words, his hand coming up to gently caress your cheek as he collects his thoughts. “I know I didn’t have to, but I wanted to. You mean everything to me, so if there’s anything I can do just let me know. Otherwise I’ll just lay here with you until it gets a little more manageable deal?” he offers gently. “Sure.” “Perfect,” he sighs in relief, sealing the deal with a kiss.

[techieninja18]

.

[lovablepiece-of-toast]

@hachiibun 's too cute ocs Raz and Nath

☆~~~~~~~~~☆

A/n: This is my first ever public sickfic. Thanks you for @hachiibun for making such good boys and letting me write about them.

So yeah, this is long and kinda out there. Hope you enjoy!

Mentioned: Snez, high fever, (very little bodily harm), germaphobia, superhuman abilities?, smoking

[Some spelling errors might have slipped in]

☆~~~~~~~~~~☆

Raz comes down with a nasty flu and Nath is Highly uncomfortable :P

Raz felt a little out of it in the morning, but not too bad to skip work. Their office was just two flights of stairs down from his appartement so walk to work was a breeze.

But not today, oh no. Raz had never realized how many steps there were until he had to drop his already tired feet on to each and every one of them. The reason for Raz's persistent tiredness on this very morning was due to him sniffeling and failing to sleep away a small headcold all night.

"Ath-dzsuu!!"

Raz winced at his drawn out sneeze echoing all over the stairwell. He had to stop at the landing to blink away the wooziness. He should just go back. But Nath would not be happy about it. Then again, he wouldn't be happy about Raz showing up all sniffely. Also going down seemed more convinient than hiking back up.

~

"Morning", a skeptical Nath greeted his clearly exhausted partner in crime stumbling down the stairs.

"Morning", Raz gave a smile trying to hide the congestion building in his sinuses. He quickly pushed past Nath as his nose started twitching indicading another outburst.

"I'll do some paperwork today".

~

"Ath-dzsuu! Ath-dzsuu!!!", Raz slumped over his desk in the privacy of his own little room. With drooping eyes he followed the sheets of paper sent flying by his sneeze.

So much for doing paperwork. The moment he had laid eyes on the documents the words were swimming around on them. No reading, then. How about filing? Well, Raz successfully got the papers into a neat stack. But the unbearable itch finally caught up and...

Here he was, slumped over his desk, sniffeling wetly and unable to get up, let alone pick up the papers.

"I see", Raz looked up to see Nath leaning against the doorframe.

As much as Nath hated germs and all that, the miserable state of his friend was enough to overwhelm the fear with concern. Nath took a step closer as Raz pushed himself up so he was leaning in to his own cupped hand.

Nath scanned his face. Pale, rosy cheeks, long black hair a complite mess and stuck to his sweaty forehead.

"Hey", Raz rasped when tapped his damp forehead, keeping an arm's lenght distance . "Is it really cold in here, or is it just you?". With that Nath pulled back and glared.

"No, it's you. Why did you leave the house with a fever like that?", Nath pressed.

"I don't know?".

"Well. I'll get you home so you-".

"Ath-DZUUU!!!".

"Ohkayy let's go", Nath helped Raz up.

~~~

"Now stay there", Nath ordered with strained voice once Raz was in his own bed.

"Better contaminate this place than the whole office", he muttered closing the door behind him. 'I'm not catching that nasty whatever. All that congestion and fever. Ew.' He let out a puff of smoke. Something he did while really anxious.

~~

"Done!", Nath proudly presented a bowl of tomato soup to the empty room. He grabbed a spoon and went to deliver the meal.

"Raz! Food's here", he knocked on the door. No reply.

"Raaz-", Nath stopped. He heard something grow, crystallize.

"Raz!!". Shit. Nath knew that sound even in his sleep. What was that idiot doing manipulating shadows with a high fever?

Curse the germs, screw the illness. He slammed the bedroom door open and the sight was something akin to a horror movie.

It was dark. All but the shivering form of his pale friend curled into himself on the bed. Nath squinted and realized the deep shadows around Raz and his bed were Raz's shadow vines. Somehow they had seemed to melt around Raz.

Nath stepped beside him. For the first time in his life he was relived to hear Raz's breath hitching indicading a sneeze. The shadow vines were dargerous but also fragile. If he sneezed they would just crumble-

"Ath-dzuu!"

The bowl smashed to the floor. Darkness became overwhelming. Nath saw his life flash before his eyes. Pain flared at his cheek and forearm.

Nath blinked. He was incased in sharp, spiky shadow formations like in a rose bush.

"Shiiit". Of course. Less light, stronger shadows, and the room was practically pitch black. Nath carefully reached into his pocket and pulled out a small flashlight he kept just in case.

Snap, shatter, crumble. The shadows broke like small branches when Nath shined the light on them as he made his way to Raz.

He was a mess, pantting congestedly, deeply flushtered, choking out sobs, clearly run down with the exertion from his body's feverish trick.

Nath only had to to wave a hand over him to feel the heat.

Nope, nope, Noooooooope. Not good. Not good At All.

"Don't you dare to die on me!", Nath backed away, side-stepping the puddle of scalding soup , grabbed his hat that got pinned to the wall, flipped on the lights and bolted out to the nearest pharmacy.

~~~

"Na-Nath?", Raz mumbled. He opened his eyes and hissed at the lights.

What time was it? He couldn't tell but at least he was coherent. "Ugh", he snorted up the pain throbbing in is nose and roof of the mouth. Well, now his eyes were open and he noticed the medicine and a water bottle on the floor. As Raz reached for the aid and felt something wet fall on to his lap. Oh. A cool washcloth. It took some effort to srew off the caps. Raz took a sip of water, winching at how the swallowing stung his raw throat. Then he gingerly chuged down the pills and choked a few chesty coughs. He shakily slapped the colth over his forehead and the daze lolled him quickly back to sleep.

~~

Nath dragged a long breath from his smoke and let it hang from his lips. It was chilly out but he didn't want smoke the whole building. And the city's skyline against the night sky wasn't the worst wive to get lost in.

He sighed and swept back some of his grey hair behind his ear, feeling the band-aid covering the scratch Raz had made there earlier. Nath didn't even want to think about how dirty it was, he tried not to care.

Why did he do all this? Why he was willing to push himself beyond his comfort-zone just because Raz was under the weather? Raz was an adult, Nath didn't have to take care of him.

Still, Raz was his friend and Nath cared about the man. No matter how sick. He knew Raz would do the same for him.

Nath was pulled to reality by the padding of barefeet. He turned around suprised, dropping the cigarette pud out the window by accident.

Raz stood in the living room. It crossed Nath's mind he was sleepwalking until Raz's eyes focused on him, fully awake.

"Oh, you're up", Nath stated. He was extremely relieved to note that Raz was looking a lot better. The flush had lessened and color returned to his face, his eyes were clear so the fever must have died down and he wasn't shaking like a leaf.

"How are you?".

"I'm-", Raz started but paused and held out a finger, othe hand rubbing his nose. Nath's eyes grew wide in terror. Not again. Raz noticed and chuckled.

"Heh, I'm good actually. A little hungry."

To that Nath sighed dramaticly, blowing out enough smoke to dim the room and collapsed on to the floor, relief welling up in his chest.

"Nath? You good?", Raz peered over.

Nath gave a thumbs up.

"Anyway. Thanks for looking after me", Raz shuffled his hair," I know how much you hate getting sick".

"No problem."

~~~~~~~~

[ineffectualdemon]

The most strenuous thing I've done this week was to stay awake in the day two days in a row and read a bunch

And that meant I had to spend most of today asleep in bed. Like I stumbled out of bed long enough to see Kiddo off to school then stumbled back to bed and slept through all my alarms until it was 13:30 (1:30pm)

Like I'm still exhausted and in pain as well and I hope tomorrow I'll be able to get studying done but I don't know

...

This sucks

And what's frustrating is most people don't get what fatigue means

They think it just means "tired"

It's not. Chronic fatigue as a symptom is a bone deep exhaustion.

Like imagine you've pulled an all nighter and only a few hours the day before that. So you're so tired concentration is extremely difficult and you're stumbling over your words and all you can think about is how exhausted you are.

If you have chronic fatigue that's your baseline

And when it flares up it's even worse

When my fatigue flares up it's not an option for me to go back to bed. I have to. It's an overwhelming exhaustion that makes my eye sight bleary, I struggle to say full sentences and I literally stumble about as if can't figure out how my feet work. In that state u can stay awake ISH for a little bit but I really have to go back to sleep asap.

In that state I am a hazard to myself and others if I try to do too much. When Kiddo was little they used to have to go to the childminder on mornings when it flared badly because it was not safe for me to be in charge of a 3 year old like that.

It should be noted that until 2017 that level of fatigue was a once or twice a year thing for me.

Starting May 2017...well I basically slept from May through August that year. Kiddo went to the childminders and my in-laws a lot and my husband took more on with the childcare

I...don't really remember much of that summer

But since Kiddo was 8 and is 9 they can get themselves breakfast and pack their lunch and I just kinda need to be there and sitting upright and make sure Kiddo has all the things they need and then be awake by the time they get home. And I can do that when I'm half asleep I just can't like shower safely because I have no coordination.

It's a little better since autumn 2017 since I started getting actual treatment, better more appropriate painkillers, diagnosis and treatment for RA...that kind of thing but I still end up this fatigued at least twice a week if not more.

Sometimes I will still have to spend most of the week in bed because I did one more active thing than usual

And usually it's nothing anyone else thinks of as strenuous. It's being awake for most of the day for two or more days in a row. It's studying. It's I made dinner twice that week and by "made dinner" I mean put something precooked into the oven and took it back out

And you have to understand we've made adjustments to my disability. I have things so I can work from bed, we have a stool in the kitchen so I can sit while I make toast because standing is too painful, we're looking into getting a walk in shower installed (thank you in laws) for days when I'm too tired and in pain and woozy to stand.

And I'm still having to sleep for the majority of a day multiple times a week.

And I hate it and it's miserable and people look at me with judgement when they find out I'm struggling. Like I'm just being lazy and I hate that.

And I want to scream when I can see their judgement and then I mention I had a pulmonary embolism and they suddenly are sympathetic! Like it's understandable in that case but not if it's arthritis and fibro

And here's the thing

My heart and lungs are fine.

I have to stay on blood thinners for life but I'm fine

It really is a combination of Fibro and rheumatoid arthritis that's kicking my ass so hard but no one believes that.

Ugh.

I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired

But I'll be up tomorrow trying to study I guess.

Maybe my body will even let me.

[speedytimemachineflower]

march 5th 2022

I spent my entire day cleaning out my clothes. From my entire life.

I will be 19 this year, I do not really have a whole lot, but I also do.

I live with a family of hoarders, and to say the least i've captured the quality.

We have been cleaning every week, every Saturday. It is exhausting, and it has basically eradicated any moment of peace. Usually Saturday is my only day off from work and school, but now its cleaning day. All in order to be rid of my family's accumulated crap from my parents' 25 year marriage, and the thirty years before that in each of their separate lives, plus the accolades from my no longer living relatives. Basically, we have a lot of shit.

Anyways, I sit here trying to fall asleep, and I cannot. I expected sleep to be easy today since I spent 10 hours doing physical labor. But nope. It made me anxious. I havent been able to sleep since Thursday, and its really pissing me off. I have also been having the oddest dreams. Last night I had one of those sweet dreams you sorta dont want to wake up from. I was on this weird ship/school/family house boat thing. Some old peers from highschool were there. Also my ex boyfriend was in the dream, we were still together. He was really sweet too, it made me miss him. It made me sad because in my dream he was this image of him I have in my head, that he actually is not in reality, and it breaks my heart. You fall in love with someone, only to find out they're insecure, and everything they did during the honeymoon phase or whatever was a sick trick for you to fall in love with them. You watch them break, and then you break, and then the same thing happens except on their end. Then all of a sudden they stop caring, or calling, and never quite tell you why.

Anyways.

I have a lot on my mind. I was worried that I threw out things on accident today that meant a lot to me, I know I didn't but my brain likes to make me feel funny, so. I keep thinking about the things I will do tomorrow, the things I will get done, the plan as I call it. I ordered some prints from FedEx I will pick up, and then I planned on purchasing a new sketchbook from Michael's craft store, as well as a journal, and perhaps some pens/pencils.

I completely organized my clothes, and I cleared out half of my wardrobe. It felt good, but I also feel anxious about it. It feels different to me. I feel like part of my style is to be messy, having things organized somehow feels weird to me. I also realized all of the clothes I like, are actually kinda boring, and that makes me sad. All of the clothes I donated are really cool, but never give me the look i'm going for. I dress a lot like Roger Waters on the fly. I wear mostly plain black outfits, usually with jeans that flare. I have some sweaters for when its cold. I then wear sweatpants usually to bed, but I usually sleep in my underwear with a t shirt and then put the sweats on when I wake up. I like basics, but I also like to feel stylish. However, I think I am learning I actually do not like to be stylish, I like to buy stylish things, but I never use them haha. It is much easier to be basic in fashion. It tends to make me a lot happier when I don't have to worry about it.

[alexiela73]

Hi, I'm kinda new here so idk if you've gotten this kind of request for hc/short fic before but here goes nothin I guess. How do you think junkrat/roadhog, mccree, hanzo, and gabriel help out a disabled/chronically ill s/o on a bad flare day? (Btw I've been reading what you write and I really enjoy it :) ..)

I have not gotten one specifically for this yet. I hope these are okay. And thank you! XD While i like writing for myself, I find more satisfaction in writing for others, so I’m glad you enjoy what I’ve posted

Junkrat:

Is aware you have diabetes

One day he comes over for the day to hang out

The two of you were going to go out and go to the junkyard in search for scrap parts for his next big invention

Except when he gets to your room, he finds you sitting at the table with your head in your hands

Immediately concerned, the junker drops the dirty sack meant for the parts on the floor by the door and hobbles over 

“Ye okay, darl’? Ye look a bit pale,” Junkrat says, noticing your pale complexion and the way your eyes seemed a bit distant. Carefully he kneeled on his peg leg, watching you with concern

Giving him a tired smile, you noted his face was dirtier then usual and reached up to gently wipe at his face with a napkin from the table

“Your so dirty,” you whisper, sighing heavily and feeling bad.

Catching your hand, Junkrat presses a kiss to the inside of your wrist, before pausing.

“Have ye taken yer blood thingy with the needle jabber ye have?” Junkrat asked, looking at you with concern now. He’d seen you with low blood sugars but obviously it was a bit worse then usual.

Giving an exhausted nod, you brush your finger tips across his cheek. “I’m sorry, Jamie. I just don’t have the energy to go to the scrap yard today. I feel like I might topple over, honestly,” you said apologetically, hoping he wouldn’t be too disappointed.

Shaking his head, Junkrat stood and straightened his back, showing his true height as he towered over you. Then he leaned and scooped you up, causing you to squeak. Despite having a wiry thin frame, the man was well built and seemed to have endless energy and strength, you once noticed.

“Don’t mind me, darl’,” Junkrat said, plopping you down on the couch. He got your fuzzy slippers for you, before rummaging through the cupboards and fridge. He brought back a can of pop and a bag of chocolate covered pretzels for you, before sitting beside you.

 “Here. Movie day is just as good, as long as it be with me best girl,” he said with a goofy grin.

The look of adoration you gave him made today all the worth it. “Thank you,” you said gently, before snuggling to him for the day as he worked on raising your blood pressure with you and letting you relax to get your strength back

McCree

The two of you were out for the day 

Despite having heart disease, the two of you ended up buying a ranch half a year ago

The place is a lot of work but usually your good about not working on your bad days and being honest about them

Today you weren’t. The two of you were going to go for a ride through the meadows and have a nice lunch out. Wanting to very badly, you didn’t tell Jesse about how your chest had been hurting since you woke up.

When you found yourself a bit short of breath during the start of the ride, Jesse noticed. You insisted you were fine and that your horse’s speed was a bit rough today

Jesse didn’t believe it. Butterfly rode like a dream. 

The two of you were almost getting to the spot when suddenly, the pain in your chest intensified. Pressing a hand to your chest, you gasped for air and felt blackness at the corners of your vision.

“Y/n!” Jesse gasped, turning his horse around and hurrying over just as you fainted. You were lucky, he caught you from falling off the horse just in time.

When you woke up, the pain was a dull ache in your chest. You were laying on the couch in your living room, and you blinked hazily as you struggled to remember exactly what had happened last.

Jesse sat on the edge of the coffee table, holding your hand and looking to be both angry and relieved.

“Jesse-” you croaked but he cut you off.

“You can’t do that, y/n. We agreed when we got the ranch that you would take it easy. You should have told me you weren’t feeling good,” Jesse said, clutching your hand desperately. He had been so worried, and you know it scared him, the thought of anything happening to you.

A slow smile tugged and your lips, and when he saw it he rubbed his eyes. “Why are you smiling?” he growled, but was silenced when you reached up to caress his cheek.

“Your right. I’m sorry, Jesse. I just…I’m so grateful to have someone who cares so much,” you say softly, the look on your face serene as you squeeze his hand. For a moment he just looks at you, as if considering whether or not to let you off the hook. 

Finally he rests his forehead on your shoulder and lets out a long sigh.

“I love you, stupid,” he mumbles, before pressing a kiss just before your ear.

Letting out a soft chuckle, you relax.

“I love you too, you goofball,” you murmur.

Hanzo

Today Hanzo had woken and noticed that you had been a bit difficult to wake up

When you did, you had been really tired. It didn’t take you long to realize your lupus was acting up but you refused to admit it

Touching your forehead, Hanzo had immediately noticed the hot fever plaguing you as you attempted to insist that you would be fine

Your joints were really aching this morning, and Hanzo could tell by the way you winced whenever you moved.

Hanzo ended up sentencing you to bedrest for the remainder of the day, even though it was the day of one of japans biggest festivals

You had been so excited to go…it broke your heart that you would have to miss it, but you knew as well that you couldn’t go out in your condition.

You tried to tell Hanzo to go, but he just gave you a look that left no room for arguements. Instead, Hanzo put himself to work making food for you while you laid curled up in bed

Hanzo always stayed home when you weren’t feeling good.

Around lunch time, Hanzo walked in with a tray. There was homemade stew for you, as well as freshly made juice and biscuits.

You couldn’t help the soft smile that touched your lips. Hanzo always took excellent care of you, going above and beyond to ensure that you would at least be happy while you were recovering. 

“Thank you,” you murmur as you take the tray, watching as he carefully sat beside you. “How lucky I am, to have such a beautiful nurse,” you tease gently.

A smile tugged at his lips. “You really are, aren’t you,” he says quietly, reaching up to tuck your hair behind your hair.

Watching you while you ate, you noticed Hanzo looked a little more lost in thought then usual, more troubled. Usually he went to meditate when he was troubled, but instead he sat there, tracing circles on your knee as he thought.

“Are you okay?” you murmur, before taking another bite full of food.

Blinking, after a moment Hanzo gives you the barest smile. “Nothing to worry about,” he says softly. “I just…get quite worried over you. I am afraid of there ever coming a day where I might have to wake up without you at my side…” 

Stunned, you put down your almost empty bowl of soup to stare at him, realizing what he was worrying over.

“Hanzo Shimada! I am not dying now, nor any time soon. I’ll be damned if if we don’t grow old together!” you said determinedly, wishing he could try and be as sure of it as you were. You’d fight tooth and nail to live as long a life you could with this man you loved.

Eyes meeting yours, Hanzo hesitated before a real smile touched his features. “You are right. You are a fighter,” Hanzo murmurs softly, watching you with adoration evident in his eyes. “It will be okay. You’ve never been wrong before.”

With a laugh, you playfully punched his shoulder. “As if,” you murmur, before returning to finish your delicious soup.

Gabe:

It has been two days since you two have spoken

The last time you two had been together, your heart disease had acted up unexpectedly when the two of you had been out shopping. You’d blacked out in public, and when you woke up he’d taken you to the doctors to have a check up, worried for you

This has happened a couple times this year, or at least situations that were similar

Gabe didn’t like to be avoided, so he decided the best thing to do was to come to you. 

Marching up the front steps of your house, he walked in without knocking. Immediately he went upstairs to try and find you, only to see that you were curled up in your bed with your back to the door

For a moment, Gabe contemplated leaving, wondering if maybe you were just sleeping. Then he realized that you were shaking lightly, and slowly he walked over.

“Y/n..” he said softly, reach down and rubbing your back gently. At your touch, you let out the barest sob. It broke his heart.

“Move over,” Gabe urged gently, and you moved over. Crawling into the bed, he snuck himself under the covers before spooning you and burying his face in your long hair.

Silence ensued for a few minutes as he just held you, fingers rubbing soothing circles into your arms as he cradled you against his body. He didn’t want to pressure you to talk, especially when you were upset.

Finally though, you spoke. “I’m sorry,” you whispered, rubbing at your eyes. There was once more a dull ache in your chest. The pain had been evident since the last time you’d seen him.

“Don’t be, baby,” Gabe said softly. “I was just really worried, is all. I just…tell me what’s wrong, baby. Please. Tell me what I can do to make it better.”

At his words, another sob engulfed you. How long would he say that, you wondered? How long before he tired of your episodes too?

“Make it stop,” you whimpered. “Make it go away, Gabe. I’m…I’m so tired…I’m just so tired of it. I can’t do this anymore. I never know when its going to be a good or bad day and I’m so sick of it. I’m just holding you back from having a normal relationship…”

Honestly, you had depression too. This disease was eating at you alive, not just your heart but it was ruining life for you. You felt like it was impossible to enjoy yourself knowing you had this illness.

Gabe would be better off with another girl, you thought, who didn’t faint in public and gasp like a goldfish out of water..

Turning you around, Gabe stared hard into your eyes. “I don’t want to hear that nonsense, y/n. I love you,” he whispered, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. “I love YOU. You aren’t holding me back. You are who I want to be with. None of this can stop me from wanting you. So unless your trying to get rid of me, stop thinking such nonsense and just tell me you love me.”

You couldn’t help the tiny smile that pulled at the corner of your mouth when he got pushy. It was a little cute. You had trouble believing it though. How could he…

“Y/N,” he said seriously when you hesitated. “I will never leave you. I promise you.”

You stared back into his eyes, hesitating, wanting to believe him so badly. Gabe didn’t tell fables, you reminded yourself. You couldn’t get better if you continued focusing on all the bad stuff…the voice in your head strangely reminded you of things Gabe had said to you many times over.

Hesitating once more, you hugged him tightly. 

“I love you,” you whispered, sniffling and you couldn’t help being grateful for the gift that was Gabriel in your life.