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skalfy · 8 months ago

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Misunderstandings

alexia putellas x reader, ~4.1k words, part 1/2 - Part 2 here

angst in this part, but planning for a happy ending.

Hi! for people waiting for part 3 of the Misa story I promise I am working on it, just been busy and got caught with some other ideas, including this one. Hope y'all enjoy this in the meantime!

Also please feel free to send me requests, I am not very quick, but would love to take on some ideas. I don't really have a complete list of players I will/won't write for, but if you send me one for someone I won't, I'll reply and let you know so you can send it elsewhere :)

You had no idea how you had gotten off on the complete wrong foot with Alexia Putellas.

It had only been a month since you joined Barcelona on a three year deal, fulfilling a lifelong dream while launching you far out of your comfort zone. You were shy, and coming from Tigres, and before that, college football in America, you hardly even had a former opponent to befriend. All of your new teammates were strangers, and in some cases, even strangers you’d looked up to for years. All of your teammates except one, that was.

In a strange twist of fate, you had met Ingrid Engen almost a decade prior, when the two of you were both 17. You had an aunt--not a real one, but one of your father’s old friends from college-- who had moved to Norway a few years before you were born. Your family had gone to visit Aunt Anna every couple summers, spending a week or two seeing the fjords and the beautiful traveling the countryside. The summer you were 17, Aunt Anna had invited you to stay for a whole month. It was meant to be a sort of final hurrah before you started college in the fall, and your parents agreed without much debate.

Your second night at Aunt Anna’s house in Melhus, you had headed to the football pitch down the street with the intent to complete your assigned summer workout, and instead you had met Ingrid. That evening on the pitch was the start of a whirlwind month-long friendship as the two of you bonded over your love of the sport, then grew to find you had much more in common beyond that. One night as you sat on your bed in Anna’s house, Ingrid had told you that she was gay, opening up about the feelings she had for one of her U-19 national teammates. She held you in a tight hug as, for the first time, you said out loud that you thought you might be gay too.

You had said a tearful goodbye at the end of the month, but stayed in touch with Ingrid somewhat throughout the years, exchanging infrequent texts congratulating each other on football achievements or to check in on life. You had been pleased to hear that things worked out with her national team crush, Marie, though sorry to hear it ended a few years later. She had cheered you on in turn when you had your first serious relationship with a girl at college. When you first arrived at Barça, the two of you hadn’t seen each other since that month in Melhus, even with your respective places on your senior national teams, but you still considered her a trusted friend.

During the your first month with the Blaugrana, you had gravitated immediately toward Ingrid. You were delighted to fall back into the easy friendship you had shared so many years ago, and it helped that you were nervous to attempt to befriend your other teammates. You worried that you were monopolizing Ingrid’s time, but she easily assuaged your concerns, telling you that she was happy to spend the time together and that she would be there to support you as you took opening up to the team at your own pace. She offered you an open invite to have dinner with her and Mapi whenever you were ready to branch out.

Though you mostly kept to yourself and Ingrid, the rest of the team seemed friendly and open for the most part. Pina and Patri didn’t seem to mind your shyness and often chattered happily to you, managing to include you as a third member of their two person conversations in the changing room. Your spanish wasn’t perfect, but three years playing in Mexico had brought you up to a passable level.

Keira and Lucy, often accompanied by Ona, would also frequently bring you into conversations. You got the sense that it was as much for Keira’s sake as yours, she seemed more than pleased to have another native english speaker to chat to. You appreciated their dynamics, full of biting wit and teasing that reminded you of time with your national teammates.

The one person who seemed to hold nothing but animosity towards you was the one who you had been most excited to play with. You racked your brain, but couldn’t place any reason why you so often seemed to be at the receiving end of Alexia’s ire, but it was unmistakeable. At best, she ignored you-- the few mornings you had arrived early enough for the two of you to be the only ones in the changing room, she remained stubbornly silent, hardly acknowledging you at all besides a flat look as you entered. At worst, she singled you out in training, barking critique after critique. You had a relatively thick skin, but the captain’s intense disapproval wore on you as it never seemed to relent.

The obvious explanations that you could think of for her behavior were out. You were a forward, used to playing out and out striker or tucked under as a false 9, but you hadn’t played midfield since a few times in a pinch in college, so even setting aside her unmatched abilities, she couldn’t possibly think you were threatening her place. You had hardly ever played against her, coming off the bench late in a game once against Spain, and playing most of a friendly with Tigres. You had certainly never put in a risky tackle against her, you didn’t think you had even made any impact on her. Certainly nothing she might hold a grudge for-- you hadn’t, say, nabbed a winning goal.

As far as you could tell, it seemed like it was something you had done since joining Barça, because she hadn’t seemed so frosty on your first meeting. The captain had been quiet but polite as she welcomed you to the team, even returning the shy smile you had given her when you were introduced, but by the end of the first week it became clear that you had drawn her ire.

You had asked Ingrid for her opinion, and, while she agreed that Alexia did seem to be especially critical of you, she couldn’t come up with an explanation. After thinking through it, she optimistically suggested that it could be a misguided attempt to help you adjust to the Barcelona playstyle. At the skeptical wince you gave her in response, she offered to ask Mapi to weigh in. You thanked her, but declined. Alexia’s best friend’s opinion would likely be your best chance to understand, but you were wary of putting either Ingrid or her girlfriend in an awkward position.

A few days after that conversation with Ingrid, a particularly bad day of practice with Alexia all over your every move had you feeling desperate. You had stuck it out to the end of the session, but raced away as soon as you could, eyes hot with unshed tears and face red with embarrassment and exertion. You passed through the changing room only long enough to kick off your boots and grab your keys and phone. Jana was inside and changed already, on a slightly shortened training plan as she returned from injury, and she called out in concern as she saw you dart for the exit.

“¿Estás bien, Y/N? ¿Qué pasó?” You shook your head as the younger player stepped toward you, not sure whether you were answering no to the first question or trying to deny anything was wrong. Either way, Jana took matters into her own hands, grabbing you gently by the elbow and guiding you to face her. “Let me drive you home, vale?” you choked back a sob and let the defender walk you towards her car.

You told Jana which apartment building you were in and she didn’t bother to plug it into the GPS, navigating the short drive easily. She had turned on some music and you were grateful that she let it play quietly without asking you any more questions. When you reached your building, she turned the car off and climbed out, circling around to meet you at the passenger side door, clearly intent on seeing you all the way in. You let her walk you through your apartment door, sinking onto one of your kitchen chairs once you were in. The defender stood at the edge of the kitchen, looking a little uncertain.

“¿Quieres que llame a alguien? Call someone?” she asked.

“Voy a llamar a Jenni. Gracias por todo. Puedes quedarte si quieres.” you replied, managing a genuine smile at the young defender. She smiled back, pulling out the chair nearest you to sit.

Jenni had been one of your closest friends at Tigres, and she was eagerly checking in on your move to Barcelona every day, but you had held back about the challenges you were having with Alexia. You were afraid to gossip about the captain, especially with Jenni, and you weren’t entirely sure what kind of reaction to expect. But after the day you had, you craved Jenni’s support and guidance too much to keep holding back.

The phone only rang twice before Jenni picked up, greeting you with a cheery “¡hola, cariño!” you tried to answer her in return, but you were caught off guard by the wave of tears that surged back at the sound of her voice. All you managed was an urgent sniffle as you fought to hold the tears at bay.

“¿Cari? ¿Qué pasa?” Jenni’s voice, now concerned, crackled through your phone’s speakers again. After a moment, you felt Jana’s hand slide onto your knee comfortingly. You turned to her and saw that she had reached her other hand out, palm up. You handed the phone to her and watched as she immediately brought it to her ear.

“Hola, Jenni. Es Jana.” she greeted her former teammate before launching into a stream of spanish too quick for you to try to follow. You zoned out to the sound of Jana’s voice, focusing on deep breaths to unclench the tight knot of tears high in your throat.

You had managed to relax yourself considerably by the time Jana brought your attention back with a light squeeze to your knee where her hand still rested. You looked up to see her holding the phone between the two of you, an expectant look on her face.

“Jenni asked if you are ready to tell what’s wrong.” You nodded and took a deep breath.

“Alexia hates me. I don’t know what I did, but she hates me and I don’t know how to fix it.”

“How do you know, what is she doing? Cari, Alexia is shy and competetivo. Maybe she doesn’t know she is hurting you.”

“No, Jen.” you felt a tear roll down your cheek. “She knows. If it’s just the two us she will ignore me, she can’t even look at me. When we are with the team she tells me everything I do is wrong, my touch, my passes, my shots. I know I am not as good as everyone else here, but I’m trying and none of it is enough for her. I can see how she is patient and kind with the young ones, so I know it is about me.”

“Es verdad, I haven’t been in the practices, but the others have been worried about it. I didn’t know it was so bad, but Ale has been muy dura.” Jana chimed in, and you were a little surprised to hear her mention the team was concerned.

“I thought I wanted to play here, but I can’t do this for three years. I just want to be back at Tigres.” you admitted.

“Lo siento, Y/n. Lo siento mucho. I wish I was there to hug you.” you could tell she meant it by the waver in her voice, and it made you miss her even more fiercely.

You talked through everything you could think of, all your interactions with Alexia, every idea you had eliminated for what went wrong. Jenni and Jana alternated between outrage and murmured words of comfort, but mostly just listened as you vented everything you had been holding in for weeks. By the end, you actually felt better. Whether it was the release of finally letting everything go, or the relief of hearing two people who knew Alexia agree that something wasn’t right, a weight was definitely lifted from your chest.

“So what should I do?” You finally asked Jenni. “How can I fix whatever this is?”

“Oh, nena, you shouldn’t fix this, it’s Alexia who needs to. Quandó ella escuche lo que tengo--”

“Jenni, no porfa! You can’t talk to her about this.” You loved Jenni, hot head and all, but you couldn’t let her go off on Alexia about this. “Thank you, I know you would do that for me, but I need to do this. I don’t want her to think-- I can’t ruin—”

“Vale, I understand, cari. I won’t say anything, prometo.” Jenni saved you from struggling to explain further. In the pause that followed, Jana spoke suddenly from next to you.

“I think you need to talk to Ale. O sea, if you want to understand what is in her head. Maybe Mapi knows, but,” she stopped with a shrug, and Jenni finished for her,

“Only Ale knows what Ale is thinking. Jana is right.” You nodded, even though Jenni couldn’t see you. She sighed over the phone, then continued. “It might be easier if you are gentle. Even if she doesn’t deserve it.”

“Gracias, Jenni.” You were suddenly very tired. “Te amo mucho. I wish I was back with you.”

“Yo también, nena. Te amo mucho. I am here if you need me.”

“I know. Good night.”

“Good night.” You hung up the phone and placed it on the table.

Jana stood from the chair next to you and held a hand out to you. When you took it, she pulled you gently to your feet, then wrapped you in a hug. You immediately softened into the embrace, grateful for the comfort. She held you close for a long moment, then released you into a light hold.

“I know you have Ingrid, but I’m here for you too, Y/n. We haven’t had much time to get to know each other, but I’m glad you are at Barça and I want to be your friend.” The earnest look in her eyes as she spoke nearly had your own tearing up again. You tugged her back into a hug, squeezing her fiercely before you let go.

“Gracias, Jana. I want to be your friend too. Thank you.” You could feel a smile break across your face, and she grinned in return. “I should let you go home before it is too late. Are you okay to drive?”

“Yes, gracias. It is a short drive, we are almost neighbors. You can visit me soon and I will show you!”

You walked Jana back down to her car, exchanging numbers before you said your goodbyes. Despite everything, you felt a glow of hope for your future at Barcelona. At least you had a new friend and some kind of plan.

You were halfway through your pre-practice routine the following morning when your phone chimed with a message. It was Jana.

Jana: ¡Hola! Do you need a ride this morning?

Jana: Because I made you leave your car

Jana: Not sorry for that 😋🚙

You had completely forgotten about your car, so you were grateful for both the reminder and the offer.

You: Yes, thank you! I can walk to you if that is easier.

Jana: Do not worry, I will pick you up. 20 minutes?

You: Perfect

True to her word, Jana picked you up outside 20 minutes later. The drive was much more lighthearted than the previous night. You asked about Jana’s english, curious about why it was so good when she had spent her whole career in Spain. She started to explain that it was part of the curriculum at La Masia, but then cracked a smile and confessed that it was mostly because she was dating Jill and it was much easier than learning Dutch.

You had been curious about the rumors around the two, and seeing the way Jana lit up made you glad to hear they were true. You said as much to the defender, which led to her telling the story of how they met during the rest of the drive. The sweet story left you both in a good mood as you pulled up to the training center.

You climbed out of the car and grabbed your bag, laughing with Jana as she came up next to you and bumped into your shoulder as you started to walk together. For the first time in a while, you didn’t feel dread at the thought of walking into training, and you weren’t desperately searching for any sight of Ingrid. Jana seemed to be noticing the same thing.

“You will have to let me take you home more often if it puts you in this good of a mood!” She said, wrapping one arm around your shoulders.

You were about to respond when another voice beat you to it.

“Jana. Y/N.”

You froze, looking up to see Alexia approaching. Jana squeezed your shoulder where her hand rested. The captain had an unreadable expression on her face, eyes darting from you to Jana, then back to you.

“Hola, Capitana.” You said, lowering your gaze as her eyes met yours.

“Can I talk to you?” It was clear that the question was directed at you. When you didn’t immediately respond, she spoke again, voice softening almost imperceptibly. “Jana, vé sin nosotros. Iremos pronto.”

Jana caught your eye and you nodded slightly. You appreciated her willingness to look out for you, but you didn’t want to get her in trouble, not to mention you wanted to speak to Alexia anyway. The defender gave you a final squeeze to your arm before walking past Alexia toward the training center.

The two of you stood in silence. For a moment, your mind raced to guess what she had stopped you to say, but you pushed the worry down. With the way your relationship was going, it hardly seemed worth predicting what her latest criticism would be. You stared over Alexia’s shoulder, waiting.

“Jana has a girlfriend.” It was maybe the last thing you expected the midfielder to say, and you were caught completely off guard.

“What? I—I know.” You sputtered out. Jana’s last comment jumped into your mind, and when Alexia didn’t say anything else, you felt the need to continue and clarify. “What Jana said… She didn’t mean what it sounded like. She gave me a ride home last night and then this morning.”

“Bueno.” Alexia finally said, quieter than before.

“Was there anything else you wanted to talk about?” You asked, voice flat.

“Ah...” she hesitated. “No.”

The blonde turned and walked away as you watched. The good mood you had only a few minutes earlier was gone, leaving behind a sort of hollow feeling. Jana had been the one to drive you, the one with her arm around your shoulders, and the one to make a silly joke about taking you home, but still, Alexia assumed the worst of you and you only. Suddenly, you felt like an idiot for thinking you could talk anything out with the captain. A surge of hopelessness washed over you as you imagined her scrutinizing every interaction you had with your teammates in addition to your skills on the pitch, and you felt sick. You walked to where you left your car last night, pulling out your phone to text Jonatan.

You: Lo siento, estoy enferma y no puedo ir a practicar.

Once at home, you buried yourself under the covers on your bed. You still felt awful from the interaction with Alexia, but you were overwhelmed by a wave of other emotions-- guilt for missing practice, anger at yourself for letting a personal issue get in the way of your career, and a deep fear that things were not going to get better.

Your phone was vibrating in the other room, but you ignored it, certain it wasn’t anyone you wanted to talk to right now. Ingrid was at the practice you just left, and it was far too early for Jenni or your family to be awake in their timezones.

As you lay bundled in your bed, the adrenaline from your high emotions faded, and you found yourself suddenly fighting heavy eyelids. Slowly, you faded into sleep.

You awoke to a loud pounding on your apartment door. Disoriented, you dragged yourself out of bed, padding out into the living room as the noise continued. You flipped the deadbolt and yanked the door open, coming suddenly face to face with your insistent visitor.

“Alexia?”

The blonde shouldered her way past you without a word, marching into your living room and looking wildly around. You closed the door and locked it before turning back to see Alexia peering into your bedroom. You snapped.

“Alexia! What the hell are you doing?”

“Looking for Ingrid!” She turned to snarl at you, eyes cold.

“What? Ingrid’s not here, what are you talking about?” You were genuinely confused, and Alexia barreling her way through your apartment wasn’t helping. You reached out and caught her by the elbow as she made to walk into your bedroom. “Stop, please! Can you just explain what’s going on?”

Alexia shook your hand off her arm, but stayed put.

“I’m not stupid. You show up here while Mapi is injured and try to steal her girlfriend. I see you every day at practice all over Ingrid. You don’t talk to anyone except her, you follow her around, you take her out for coffee, all while my best friend isn’t there to see. At first I thought you were just friendly, but it’s only with her.” Her chest heaved as she paused to take a breath. “Then I realized today you skipped practice and convinced Ingrid to join you and I knew.”

Your head was spinning and you were certain your jaw was nearly on the floor. You understood Alexia’s words, but struggled to comprehend what she was saying. As it finally clicked, a burst of laughter rose up in your chest. Alexia looked on, eyes narrowed, as you found yourself almost giggling.

“I’m, I’m sorry. It’s not funny!” You managed, pulling yourself together with a deep breath. “It’s just… you’ve been making me feel awful for weeks now because you think I’m trying to steal Ingrid from your friend? Did you even think to bring it up to Mapi herself?”

The blonde made no move to respond.

“I’ve been friends with Ingrid since we were 17. Mapi knows that. If we had any interest in each other we would have sorted it out long before now. You’re completely right that I’ve been following her around and sticking by her side, but you’re completely wrong about why. God, Alexia, I just came from halfway across the world to play for a team full of people I’ve looked up to for years. I miss my family and Jenni and the rest of my old teammates. A month ago, Ingrid was the only person I knew in this entire stupid country!”

You closed your eyes for a long moment, trying to calm your racing heart. Your body felt like you had just played 90 minutes of a championship final. When you eventually opened your eyes again, it was to the sight of Alexia still rooted to the same spot. She had hardly moved a muscle other than to drop her gaze to the floor, back and shoulders. rigid with tension. You left her in the bedroom doorway and walked over to sink into the same kitchen chair Jana had occupied last night.

“Y/n, I—” she started, but paused at the sound of the lock, then the knob turning on the door. It swung open.

“Y/n! Sorry to use your spare key, but you weren’t answering my texts! I would have come sooner, but I had a dentist’s appointment I had to leave practice for. Are you okay? Are you sick? Jana said you seemed fine until you talked to Alexia this morning, did she say something?”

“I’m okay.” Ingrid’s gaze caught you when you spoke, then rose to look past you as she responded.

“Good, I-- Alexia?”

“Alexia was just leaving.” You spoke before the blonde could. “Are you okay to drive home, Capitana?”

“Sí. Yes.” She answered quietly, finally moving away from your bedroom and towards the door to leave. Before she stepped out, she paused to turn your way. “Lo siento, Y/n. I will fix this.”

When the door shut behind her, you dropped your head into your arms on the table.

Part 2

#woso x reader #woso fanfics #alexia putellas x reader #barcelona femeni #alexia putellas

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moosesarecute · 1 month ago

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Song of the Wind part 3

Since so many people (aka two 😅) asked, here is a third and final part

Part 2

Masterlist

Azriel was pacing back and forth in the entrance of the Town House. His house.

He still wasn’t used to being the owner of a house. And he still sometimes flew to the House of Wind instead of here.

It had been four months since his first dinner with your family. Four months since your mother and brother accepted his request to court you.

And it had been the best four months of his life, even though he felt like he was playing a part.

He used all his experience as a spy to pretend that he knew what he was doing as he gave flowers to your mother, talked politics with your brother and carefully talked about everything and nothing with you.

Only in his letters to you could he be his embarrassing self.

You would send back and forth letters all the time. You wrote about your daily life and ambitions, he wrote about his personal life and every thing else that he wanted to tell you.

He wished to tell you everything, he realized.

He had been pacing for the better part of an hour. Thinking about all he had planned to do these two days you were going to come to Velaris.

You had been there before, of course you had. You and your family had visited twice before.

That’s when he realized your family excepted him to own a house and Rhys gifted him the Town House. Azriel tried to refuse, but soon Feyre and Elain had started to decorate, and he had no other choice. He had really started to love the house.

This time, you were arriving alone. No chaperone. And Azriel felt like the pressure of all courts had been put on his shoulders.

If he messed up now, all his chances were gone. This was it.

A knock on his door, made his shadows stop clinging to him and he moved to the door. He straightened his back and took a deep, but quiet breath, before he opened the door.

Outside stood both you and your brother, Mateo. His eyes immediately met yours and all worry he had disappeared.

“Hello,” you said with your bright voice.

“Hi,” he answered dreamily, before he realized you were waiting for an invitation to come in. “It’s good to see you, please come in.”

You gave your brother a small hug and Mateo gave Azriel a look that almost screamed “don’t you dare mess this up”. Azriel gave a grave nod in return.

You walked into the house and Azriel showed you to your room. You would have to sleep in separate rooms, of course.

“This will be the best weekend ever,” you said as the two of you started making lunch.

The weekend was packed. Azriel had only planned a few things to do, so that you would choose the rest.

You ended up dragging him along to one of Feyre’s painting classes, you went on walks through the Raindow and went to every single cute cafe you could find.

In the evening, the two of you went on a dinner date and the day after you had joined his family for family dinner.

Smiles were big on both faces throughout the entire days.

Azriel held the door open for you as you walked out of the River House.

“I have one more thing I wished we could do,” you said.

“Anything,” he responded as he closed the door behind him.

“I was wondering if we could go flying again,” you asked him with a quiet voice.

He almost froze. Of course he wanted to fly with you. Flying was his favorite thing ever. Nothing had ever given him as much peace.

But that would mean holding you. Carrying you in his arms as he flew above Velaris seemed like a dream, but was he allowed to?

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have asked that,” you said before he could answer.

“No, no, it’s okay! I really want to fly with you, but I would have to carry you. Is that okay?”

He felt a stupid blush reaching his face. He had flown multiple women before, but the thought of having you so close made him flustered.

“I would be okay with that.”

When he picked you up and felt the warmth of your body against his he thought he was going to lose all control.

It felt so right holding you against him. He absolutely loved it.

Throughout the four months of courting he had been longing for the day he could fly with you again. Not in a life-death situation, but for fun.

“Ready?”

You nodded and he took off.

The scream that left your mouth was a lot quieter than last time and was soon changed with laughter.

He flew them far above the ground and while you were amazed by the lights from the city, he was amazed by your bright eyes and the feeling of holding you.

It was the most amazing thing he could ever have dreamed of.

“This is amazing,” you said and turned to look at him. “Thank you, love.”

The pet name made his knees weak and he was so happy he wasn’t currently standing on them. He would definitely fall.

“No problem at all,” he answered as he got lost in your eyes.

After a while, he flew you down to the Town House.

Being from Summer meant being used to a warmer temperature than what it was in Velaris, so he made sure you felt warm under a blanket.

The night disappeared into day, but neither of you noticed. The entire house was filled by laughter and love.

The mating bond was humming in both chests. Humming stronger than ever before.

“I love you,” you whispered to him.

“I love you too.”

Relief was the feeling that spread through his body. Both from you and from him. The second feeling was pure happiness.

His shadows were swirling around you, like they had done the entire weekend. Now, they became a little braver and clung closer to you in a protective, but also comforting manner.

Azriel half expected you to get scared from them, but you only leaned further towards them, and therefore also towards Azriel.

His shadows on the other side of his body started to push him towards you and soon you were touching. He lifted his hand and you did the same, interlocking fingers.

Both of you relaxed completely against each other.

You stayed in the same position until a knock was heard and Azriel knew that your brother had arrived.

Disappointment filled his heart, but then it was gone again.

It was your disappointment he realized. He was about to ask if you were okay, when you sat up, kissed his cheek and made your way to the door.

The kiss made his shadows go crazy, but he hoped you didn’t notice.

It was a simple goodbye and then, you went back to the Summer Court.

Azriel had been sosial the entire weekend, but he didn’t feel as tired he usually would. It only felt empty. The house was too big without you in it.

So he decided to make his way to the River House.

You had expected him to do it when you made food the first day.

Or when you ate dinner at the restaurant.

Or when you walked through the rainbow.

Or when he flew you around and gazed at you like you were a goddess to his god.

You at least expected him to do it when you stayed up talking the entire night. Leaning into each other and feeling the warmth and smell from his body.

But then he didn’t.

Your brother arrived and winnowed you home and it only took one hug for you to break down.

He didn’t want you.

He said he loved you, but he still didn’t want to marry you.

Breathing became harder and harder. You weren’t good enough for your own mate.

Your brother carefully moved you from his arms into your mother’s.

You could almost smell his anger, but you were too deep into crying to realize what he was going to do.

That was until he winnowed away.

“How did it go?” Nesta asked as soon as he walked into the River House.

Most of his family was still there after the dinner last night. Being either too tired or too drunk to go home.

“It went fine, I think,” he answered.

All his family was looking hopeful at him. They wanted details.

“We talked the entire night and her brother picked her up not long ago.”

“We really like her,” Rhys said and it made Azriel smile. “She seems right for you. I’ve never seen you smile like this before.”

He nodded at his brother. He really did love you. It was an incredible feeling knowing that you loved him back.

“What’s going on?” Amren asked.

She and Varian had been gone for the last two weeks. They had therefore no idea that you had been visiting.

“Y/N was here this entire weekend,” Feyre said and she continued with a blink in her eye. “Without a chaperone.”

Amren only snorted, but Varian’s eyes grew double the size. Azriel felt his smile fall.

“What?” He asked.

“Did you-,” Varian started speaking, but was cut of by a door closing.

In walked Cassian and to Azriel’s horror, Mateo.

“Look who I found,” Cassian said.

Azriel immediately got worried. Did something happen to you? Were you hurt? Didn’t they get home properly?

Azriel stood up and was about to voice his concerns, when Mateo’s fist met his nose.

Mateo wasn’t the tallest or strongest fae, but he knew how to punch. Azriel both felt and heard his nose break.

He realized he must have messed something up for Mateo, who had become his friend, so want to hurt him so badly.

So he let Mateo do what he needed.

In the end he had a broken nose, a black eye and he was drenched in water…twice.

“What the hell is wrong with you? I let you get close to my sister even though you messed up about everything in your first dinner with us and then you play her like that? Don’t you own any shame? She’s been the most patient. She’s been urging me to let her see you and then you prove all the bad accusations about Illyrians right?”

In the end, Rhys pulled Mateo off him.

“I’m sure it’s a good explanation for all this. Azriel gave us the impression that the weekend went quite well,” he said and tried to calm Mateo.

“Well? Well? How can it go well when he doesn’t have any plans on attaching himself.”

Azriel’s eyes grew wide. What? Of course he was planning on attaching himself to you. He wanted nothing more in the entire world to call you his.

A small attempt on clearing a throat was heard in the corner of the room. Azriel met Varian’s eyes before the male no longer dared to look at him.

“I might have forgotten to mention the part about how a unchaperoned visit is the same as telling someone to propose.”

Azriel’s mouth flew open.

You had excepted him to propose. You had waited patiently the entire weekend for him to say he wanted to marry you and then he hadn’t.

He had to hold back his shadows to prevent them from killing Varian, but he let them punch him to the ground.

“I didn’t know,” he almost pleaded to your brother. “I swear, I didn’t know. Of course I want to marry her, she’s the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

A ring!

He needs a ring.

But it was Sunday and most of the shops were closed.

He was about to ask Rhys for one when his shadows lifted his hand and dropped a ring-box into it.

He opened it and was met with the most beautiful ring he had ever seen. It screamed you. It would look amazing on your cute hand.

“You have a ring ready?” Mateo asked. He seemed to suddenly realize that Azriel was serious.

Azriel almost told the truth about his shadows buying a ring behind his back, but then his shadows forced his head into a nod.

“May I please propose to your sister?” He asked hopefully.

Mateo gave him just a stern nod and Azriel was on his way.

He winnowed and flew and winnowed until he stood outside your home.

He didn’t knock, but just opened the door and left it open. Your mother was almost burning with anger as she saw him.

“I’m so sorry, ma’am,” he said. “I don’t have time to explain, I need to propose to your daughter.”

His shadows told him where in the house you were and he immediately ran to your room.

He almost ripped open the door and stormed inn.

You were about to go into bed, but stopped as you saw him.

His heart broke at the sight of your bright eyes that were now red from crying. You were crying the first time you met, but now that the tears was because of him it was ten thousand times worse. He wanted to throw up.

He didn’t let you speak as he walked up to you, went down on one knee and opened the ring-box.

“Y/N Y/L/N, daughter of Dana, sister of Mateo and owner of my heart. I’m the stupidest male alive for not realizing what your visit this weekend meant. I promise you, I didn’t know, but it doesn’t matter. I messed up. And I promise to try to mess up less in the future, but please, please, please, will you marry me?”

“Ready?” Your brother asked you.

You leaned into a hug and he kissed your forehead.

“It’s not too late to back away,” he continued and you only laughed.

“I’m sure I made the right decision, even though you’re still mad,” you answered with a bright smile.

He took your hand, tilted your flower-crown a little to the left and started walking with you.

The weather was perfect. Not too warm, but a blue shy and a bit of a wind.

The garden you had chosen to get married in was the most beautiful and it felt so right. With a mix of pink, blue and green plants as decor.

Azriel cried as he saw you. He stood out in his black suit, but you at least got him a white flower to have in his hair. He wore it proudly.

The ceremony was beautiful. Your vows were a mix of Night Court and Summer Court traditions. Your first kiss was the most amazing kiss ever and you soon became addicted to kissing.

Your entire family and his entire family were together for the party afterwards.

It was the most beautiful day ever.

“I can’t believe we finally got married,” he said and kissed you on the mouth.

“You proposed last month, love. You made it seem like you’ve waited forever.”

“I have,” he said. “540 years to be exact.”

You laughed at your cheesy mate.

Rhysand winnowed you both to the Night Court. The Town House was now also your home.

What Azriel didn’t know was that you had, with the help of Feyre and Nesta, placed a small cake that you had made on the kitchen table of the Town House.

Azriel ended up eating that cake quite quickly when he realized what it meant.

And you know the rest.

Extra:

“Can you at least give me a two meter radius?” Cassian asked the guards that were currently surrounding him.

“No, we have orders from the High Lord,” one of them answered.

It had taken Rhys two weeks of almost begging Tarquin to let Cassian come to Azriel and Y/N’s wedding. And he was allowed to come, but he was constantly watched by at least three guards.

“Enjoying yourself, Cass?” Rhys asked him. He stood and talked with both Azriel and you, but Cassian wasn’t allowed. It was a too crowded area for the guards to have complete control.

Azriel and Rhys broke out in laughter at Cassian’s annoyed face. You, however, walked up to your new brother in law with a small glass of champagne.

Cassian was about to take the glass when one of the guards slapped his hand away.

“No alcohol!” He said.

Cassian had to hold back from stumping his foot like a toddler.

“You break one building,” he muttered and his words were answered with laughter.

@historygeekqueen @daughterofthemoons-stuff

Divider by @cafekitsune

#acotar #azriel #azriel fanfic #azriel x reader #azriel x y/n #azriel x you #azriel shadowsinger

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lihhelsing · 1 year ago

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Part 2

Unknown number: Hey

Steve is sitting on the couch, he has Top Gun playing in the background just because he wanted some noise. The house feels empty whenever Robin has a different shift than him.

The message comes from an unknown number and he just watches as the three dots appear. It’s probably someone trying to sell him something but he’s so bored all he can do is watch.

When the message finally comes through, Steve feels his stomach dropping in surprise, a small rush coursing through him.

Unknown Number: It’s Eddie. The guy who was rude to you for no good reason? You know, the one who thought you were being an asshole just to embarrass himself in front of the hottest guy he had ever seen?

Unknown Number: God, I sound dumb. You probably don’t remember me but it’s Eddie.

Steve remembers. Of course he does.

Unknown Number: Anyway. I’m making it worse, aren’t I? I just wanted to apologize. I can delete your number after this, but I felt like I owed you. You didn’t do anything wrong and I was a bitch. Sorry. I’ll leave you alone now.

Steve doesn’t want to be left alone. Without thinking he dials the number. Feels like messages aren’t the best way to handle the situation.

“Hi,” Eddie says a little out of breath after the third ring.

“Hey,” Steve says back. There’s a smile threatening to bloom on his face because Eddie sounds flustered and Steve kind of loves it. “Sorry I called.”

“Sorry I messaged,” Eddie says back and Steve chuckles.

“I’m glad you did,” he says and he swears Eddie’s breath hitches.

“I’m glad you did, too.”

Steve had been debating whether or not to message Eddie. He’d told the story to Robin and she laughed at his expense as usual, but then she shrugged and said Steve should let it go. It wasn’t his fault the guy got played and Steve shouldn’t feel guilty.

He didn’t. He just really couldn’t stop thinking about Eddie.

After a beat where neither of them says anything, Steve decides to tackle the elephant in the room.

"So, uh, I'm really sorry about the whole catfish thing. I don't know why someone would be this mean."

Eddie hums on the other side of the line and Steve thinks this is it, maybe he'll offer him an excuse and hang up and actually delete his number, but Eddie surprises him.

"It's ok, you know. I should've suspected it, honestly. There's no way someone as hot as you would be interested in someone like me."

"You keep saying that and yet I remember giving you my number anyway," Steve says playfully.

"Yeah, 'cause you were feeling sorry for me." Eddie says back and Steve actually scoffs.

"Well, no. I actually thought you were pretty cute," Steve shrugs even though Eddie can't see him. He's never that forthcoming but there's something about Eddie that keeps pulling him in and he just wants to see where this is going.

"Pretty cute, huh? I'll take it."

"I can tell you what else I thought when I first saw you over… Dinner?"

Eddie's laugh fills Steve's ear and it's a glorious sound.

"You want to take me to dinner?"

"Yeah, of course. If, you know, it's not too weird. I know I'm not the person you thought you were talking to but maybe I can be cool too."

Eddie hums again and Steve thinks he's probably debating if it is too weird. He's also oddly curious about the whole thing but he has no idea if Eddie would want to talk about it.

"Yeah, ok. We can do dinner."

Maybe he's going to find out.

Steve has always been good at first dates, but this thing with Eddie doesn't really feel like a first date.

After their awkward first call and Steve asking Eddie out on a date they just started texting. A lot. Because of Steve's crazy shifts at the coffee shop and Eddie's weird hours at the bar he worked on was kind of hard to find a time for their date, but it was like neither of them was in any rush for that.

Steve discovered he was a little obsessed with finding out things about Eddie. Like how he always dreamed about becoming a rockstar but actually loved his job at the bar and creating different drinks and just getting to meet different people all the time. He also told Steve about his uncle, who he loved with all his heart, and how his dad had disappeared from his life right after his mother died.

Talking to Eddie was easy in a way Steve had never known with anyone else and he really enjoyed it. He particularly liked the little night time routine they created. Steve would call Eddie whenever he got home, knowing Eddie was just getting ready to go to work, and they would talk, sometimes until Steve was fast asleep in his bed and Eddie was driving to the bar.

But after a month, Steve is itching to see him. Even if it's just so the two could talk in person, he kind of wants to look at Eddie and take notes on all the little things about him like he'd done so many times with every picture Eddie had sent his way.

So he calls Eddie and tells him Robin finally agreed to switch shifts with him next friday so they can go out.

Steve leaves out the part where he had to promise to do her chores at the house for a month and had to make up some story about needing to see a doctor. She hadn't been budging whenever he said he wanted to go out on a date with Eddie because she kept telling him she couldn't miss her classes just because Steve wanted to get laid so, yeah, a little lie wouldn't hurt.

"So, Friday. It's a date?" Steve asks a little nervously on the phone. He's already showered and is laying in bed with his hair dripping wet. Too excited to talk to Eddie to bother blowing out his hair.

Eddie hesitates. Steve hears in the way his reply takes a minute to come. In a second he second guesses everything. Maybe Eddie had been talking to him just to realize Steve really wasn't the person he thought he was talking to. Maybe Eddie-

"Steve?" Eddie asks on the phone and Steve gets brought back to reality. "Sorry. Don't overthink this…"

Too late, Steve thinks. He says, "so it's a no on the date?"

"What?"

"You don't want to go on a date with me," he doesn't ask now. "It's fine, Eddie. It was worth a shot and it's fine if you realized you didn't-"

"Oh my god, will you shut up? Of course I want to go on a date with you. It's just… You know, I'm weird and messy and I talk too much and you're… You know. You."

"I'm… Nothing special."

"Now, you and I both know that's not true. I mean, you're hot. I won't lie, I started talking to you because I had never had a guy that hot talking to me and wanting something with me. But now I see you're so much more than that. I just… I don't want to disappoint you. What if you don't like me in person because I'm awkward and too skinny and talk too loudly and dress weird and-"

"Now you are overthinking this. I gave you my number and I asked you out on multiple occasions and I just… Really like talking to you. I would very much like talking to you in person over dinner. And then maybe inviting you over to my place so we could keep on talking, maybe. We could, uh… You know, fall asleep on the same bed for once."

Wow. Steve has no idea where all of that came from but he realizes he means it.

Eddie's voice comes out a little strangled when he speaks, "Just sleep?"

Steve coughs, feels himself blushing. What is up with all that? Why is he suddenly acting like a high schooler?

"So is that a yes on the date?"

"Yes, Steve. That's a yes on the date."

Previous | Next

#steve harrington #Eddie Munson #Coffee Shop AU #AU #Alternate Universe #Stranger Things #Fanfic #Stranger Things fanfic #Steddie #Steddie Fanfic #Part 2

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transbrucewayne · 1 year ago

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F1 but it’s ultra specific ship dynamics that I need in order to enjoy the ship:

Versainz: baby’s first situationship (literally pentaltyboxbox’s art is my versainz thesis. “Ay, Max, no. I am not gay and neither are you” 🤨) teammates who weren’t supposed to like each other reluctantly becoming friends and then being intricately connected for the rest of their careers. But totally not in a gay way. Of course.

Chestappen: repressed catholic and some guy who needs dilf pussy so bad he wants to kill himself (this is deeply important to me)

Strollonso: Brat princess Lance. Heros and anti-heroes. I’m on the dark side. Tell Lance not to worry I just want to build a gap with the cars behind. You’re my fucking hero.

Carlando: Baby’s first situationship pt.2?? Lando with a massive crush, first real boyfriend Carlos….i need there to be angst. Lando fell first AND harder, etc.

Britcedes/Gewis: George fumbling all over himself trying to impress Lewis, Lewis just thinking he’s cute no matter what. It’s the coolest man alive/weird little freak he’s obsessed with pairing of my dreams. George: this is my boyfriend he’s cooler than me and also he’s cooler than all of you.

Maxiel: first love married divorced remarried pining missing something that maybe was never there will they won’t they one big game of gay chicken healing from baby’s first situationship etc etc etc (I adore them)

Dando: trying to find solace in another, longing for someone you can’t get back, subversion of expected dynamics (controversial: I fully believe Lando tops in this one). But also. They need to have one brain cell. Lando blabbing on about god knows what. Daniel sweating and popping a vein bc of how much he needs to kiss him.

Twinklaren/Landoscar: third time’s the charm, oh you’re the one I’ve been waiting for, tender glances, young love, first teammate crush syndrome

Danterri: we had something weird in the past. ��Find another weed guy I can’t fuck with you…uhhhmm nothing personal I can’t fall in love right now and youre Everything I love so if I ever see you again I’ll never let go of your hand sooo yeah” (we’ve all seen that one web weaving.) Are you dating the female version of me?

Lecciardo: WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED IN VEGAS. Charles needs dick from a guy with unstoppable charisma soooooo bad. Fueling each other’s impulsive sides, etc etc

Sebchal: baby’s first situationship (Charles’ version) (from the vault) I miss you so much I’m going to listen to breakup songs all night long. I still think of you every day. I named you twice in a list of drivers. You may even kiss. If it was the omegaverse Seb is so obviously an alpha.

Brocedes: if it doesn’t make me physically sick to my stomach with anguish I do not want it. I hope you die I hope we both die. Hand in unlovable hand. I still consider him my best friend in my heart. We’re not friends. Are they lovers? Worse.

Chewis (Charles/Lewis. I recognise this is also the name for Checo/Lewis. What is the Charles/Lewis name?) me and the bad bitch I pulled by being in violation of that one article section. You know the post. They suffer together. Kinship in joint pain. You’ve got a long future ahead of you. Praise kink.

Let me know if you want a part 2, if so, send ships you want!

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stclaretarot · 2 months ago

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PAC ⭒ what’s going on in your future spouse’s love life right now?

reminder that this is a general reading and messages found here may not apply to everyone. take what resonates, leave what doesn't, and don't force anything if it does not fit.

BOOK A READING WITH ME · LINKTREE · 18+ PATREON · TIPS ♡ tips, bookings, and feedback are highly appreciated!

GROUP ONE

cards pulled · king of cups, king of pentacles, judgement (reversed), page of pentacles, queen of swords.

channelled songs · god only knows - mono by the beach boys. dead to me by kali uchis. already by beyoncé. crybaby by mariah carey & snoop dogg.

my dear group one ♡ right now, your future spouse may be experimenting with their sexuality and their gender identity/gender expression.

they may currently be in a same-sex relationship. or presenting themselves different from how they used to present themselves -- different name, different fashion, different style of makeup. or they may just be at a point where they will date or sleep with just about anyone who shows an interest in them.

they are really leaning into having fun and enjoying themselves, without committing to anyone or anything. they are trying to find themselves and understand who they are as a person.

GROUP TWO

cards pulled · ten of wands, knight of pentacles, three of pentacles, king of wands, ace of pentacles.

channelled songs · megaverse by stray kids. you by yu bin. life is still going on by nct dream. creepin’ by metro boomin’.

my dear group two ♡ the words “situationship so bad i had to reconnect with nature” immediately came to mind. so your future spouse may have recently ended a relationship, and is going through a break-up. .while they may have this urge to wallow, they are refusing to do so.

instead, your future spouse is picking up hobbies and getting into new activities. they are going hiking. they are foraging and gardening. they are applying to jobs, or focusing on career or their academics. they are doing anything to get their life in order and to get their mind off this relationship -- and to get their mind off this person. and how this person hurt them, likely by cheating on them.

GROUP THREE

cards pulled · ten of swords, temperance, nine of swords, the hanged man, two of swords.

channelled songs · mi gente - homecoming live by beyoncé & j balvin. dilemme (with tha supreme) by lous and the yakuza. do it by chloe x halle. money trees by kendrick lamar.

my dear group three ♡ your future spouse is going through some hits and misses in love. they are in and out of a lot of short-term relationships. they are going through a lot of talking stages. they are going on soooo many first dates.

but, despite it all, nothing goes very far. nothing seems to stick.

their current circumstances make your future spouse wonder if they will ever be loved or ever have the romance that they not only desire but dream of. because of this, they may end up in a bad relationship (that is toxic, unhealthy, or just simply boring and unfulfilling) because they feel as if this is their last chance at love. or because they are too afraid that they are getting too old for love, and especially for the love that they want.

GROUP FOUR

cards pulled · the star, ten of wands, three of wands, the lovers, six of wands.

channelled songs · start it up by alex mali. race against time part 2 by tank & ja rule. hiroshima by lous and the yakuza. love language by sza. what it is by amy winehouse.

my dear group four ♡ your future spouse is soooo in love. like just so, so, soooooo in love, at the moment, with the person they are currently in relationship with.

this relationship may be one with you or it may be a relationship with someone else, but whoever this is, your future spouse truly feels as if this is the love of their life. for some, like i said, this is may be a relationship with you, while for others it may be that you will be your future spouse’s second (or even third) marriage.

but, right now, your future spouse is planning the rest of their life with this person. they may be planning an engagement or planning for a baby. in general, they are so excited to start their life with this person!

#**#tarot #pick a card #pac #tarotblr #tarotonline #tarotcommunity #tarotcreator #witchblr #witch of color #divination #channelled messages #channeled messages #spiritualism #spirituality

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kings-highway · 4 months ago

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haikyuu ship headcanons except i forgot to think of a theme so they're all unrelated

daisuga: absolutely they casually kissed sometime before confessing to each other. Either as a joke/gag between friends, a dare, or maybe for some kind of student film/stage production, their first (romantic) kiss is definitely not their first kiss. Its probably not even their second. I'd hesitate to say third.

iwaoi: Iwa uses Oikawa being "needy" as an excuse to hide his introvertism. Makki and Mattsun are trying to drag him over to play video games for the 3rd time that week so Iwa's just "ahh, can't, Oikawa's already mad I ditched him the last few nights. You know what he's like, he gets so whiny if I don't give him attention," and meanwhile Oikawa is waiting for him by the gate like "alright I'll walk you home so the lie holds up, but you're giving our friends a bad impression of me and I don't appreciate that."

tsukkiyama: yamaguchi decided he was going to marry tsukki very young and tsukki did not get a say in this. like I'm thinking 11 years old and yamaguchi is daydreaming like "yeah. im gonna make him my husband." concidentally this is also why he doesnt get jealous of girls confessing to tsukki because he has this incredible internal conviction that they'll be married one day. basically he spends the next decade of his life wooing him over and playing the longest game ever and it works. tsukki never realizes exactly how young he was put into yamaguchi's trap.

ushiten: tendou was absolutely downright plagued by sex dreams starring Ushijima in their second year and into their third year and this was incredibly alarming for him because he had never even had a crush on anyone before, nor a dream like that previously, and he hadn't even consciously realized he had any attraction towards him beforehand. well thats one way to figure out you have a crush. and that you're gay.

kagehina: wrong culture but I think these two would fucking nail the promposal thing in theory, but they'd be competing with each other to see who could prompose first and theyd be so caught up in avoiding the other person's so that they could be the one to do it that they'd never actually ask each other to prom and then theyd have to go together but technically alone because they never asked. like theyve been dating for 2 years they both knew theyd say yes, they simply did not let the other ask because they wanted to do it.

matsuhana: they would both deny it with their whole chest, but they actually look up to Oikawa and Iwa as a couple, and will often default to asking them for advice. Even when its really complicated stuff, they trust their judgement. Mattsun and Makki met in high school, so they've always been really jealous of the long, childhood best friend thing and want to be able to know each other that well.

#haikyuu ships #daisuga #iwaoi #tsukkiyama #ushiten #kagehina #matsuhana

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earenwen-leafwhisper · 5 months ago

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The handmaid and the dragons part 2

---Part 1---

Summary: The last Farewell of Alyssa, pain not only one personne. A prince needed to talk.

Pairing: Baelon Targaryen x servant reader, Child Daemon Targaryen x servant reader and Child Viserys Targaryen x servant reader (all platonic)

Trigger warning: death, mourning and funeral, tears

Note from the author: part a little shorter than the first part, but I wanted to focus on an event. Like the first part, the reader is not described physically.

English is not my native tongue, if mistakes have been able to pass my correction, I will correct them soon

---

The fog was falling on the area, heavy clouds covered the sky and darkened the landscape. A veil of sadness covered the castle.

The sisters of silence had walked from the great septuary. The servants, lords, and ladys were all looking sad and mourning. If it were not the sound of the armor of the guards and the wind blowing in the streets of King’s Landing, the castle was nothing but a dead silence.

Queen Alysanne was to stay with the children for two days. On the third day, you looked at Viserys and Daemon, you tried to keep your tears and deep sadness secret, your heart tight, you helped the children getting ready. Viserys had red eyes and ate, having cried since the time when the masters had refused to let the children see their mother. Baelon was so devasted that seeing Viserys in this state, had him so hurted to see him, that he turned back and refused to see the children not wanting to show them how devastated he was, so see them sad. He wanted to show himself strong for them, despite the emptiness he felt in the place of his heart.

Daemon was still too young to understand clearly all that had happened, he asked after his mother, but the servants, nannies and Targaryen only replied that he could not see her.

The evening when you were walking around and Viserys was crying, you tried to stay calm and nice.

"Where is Mom?"

"In a better world, little prince..." Daemon and Viserys looked at you with their child’s eyes, not understanding why their mother had left without them.

That night, you told them a story you had already heard (from family, friends, others), a metaphor about death and life after it, whether for the people who are grieving, or the person who died and his crossing into the afterlife.

After all, it also helped you in some way to mourn your loss, which was quick because of your position as a servant. Even if deep down you where hurt.

The next morning, you woke up earlier than usual, you had given yourself the task of looking after the children, to get in the easier task for the other servants not to have to look after them. It was the best way for you not to end up breaking down.

The clothes had been taken and organized in order to optimize their change of outfit, a basin of hot water was placed so that they could wash off their night of sleep more or less agitate. Everything was close and yet you did not want to wake them, you wanted to leave them in the realm of dreams. But it was necessary to wake them up, for their final goodbye with their mother.

---

The wind had faded as everyone gathered around the funeral pyre. Baelon was in front of everyone, near the body of Alyssa, his shoulders were shaken by his sobs. The queen took Daemon in her arms to bring him near Alyssa.

"Why is mommy hiding? Why is Dad crying? Why is Vhagar here? Will mommy wake up?"

And so on the questions were. Follows from Viserys, who tried not to cry. You could hear him sniffing, wiping his eyes with the sleeve of his tunic. With a broken voice, he said goodbye to his mother, he laid down small flowers picked on the way up the hill. wanting something cute to be near his mother.

Viserys and Daemon stood side by side behind their father. Jaehaeris and Alysanne stood a few steps away from them, as did some of the royal family, like prince Aemon and his wife Jocelyne Baratheon. The guards were posted not far from them, and finally a few more steps away, you stood with some servants, some of them were your friends, everyone were in different level sad, some people at the edges of crying. You could hear people sobbing, although everyone tried to keep up a good figure, appearances were not misleading.

Baelon took some time before moving back from the pyr, Aemon having approached him and placed his hands on his shoulders in order to support him in this terrible event. It is with a hoarse and broken voice that he says to fear word in High Valyrian.

"Dracarys..."

Vhaegar looked at Baelon, her gigantic head slowly moving, the dragon watching Baelon, you thought to see a gleam of understanding in the dragon’s eyes, but quickly pulled out this idea from your head when you heard the small voice of Daemon.

"Mommy ?" His voice was filled with misunderstanding and concern.

When Vhaegar moved her head to line up to set the fire, Daemon grabbed Viserys' tunic and shaked him. When the flames touched the woods, Daemon screamed.

"Big brother! Mommy’s is hurted !! "

But Viserys did not move, tears running down his cheeks. Daemon ran to Baelon.

"Daddy! Mommy’s hurt!!!"

He clings to the leg of a Baelon crying in Aemon’s arms, shaking him and screaming at full lung, tears begin to flow down his cheeks. He looked at his grandparents but they kept a steady face, which did not give confidence to Daemon.

When he see you, he runned towards you, you put yourself on his level and took him in your arms.

"Y/nickname! They hurt mommy!! Please!! Help her!!!"

"I’m sorry, Daemon, I can’t do anything..."

"A magic kiss!"

"A magic kiss can’t help your mommy... I’m sorry..." Your last words were between soft sob.

When Daemon saw you crying, he cried even more, punching on your shoulders, sad and angry at you. He did not speak to you for a week. It's hurted him, that people not helped him in the face of the flames of Vhaegar.

---

A few days after the funeral, while you were washing the sheets of the rooms that were assigned to you during the day. You saw prince Baelon walking towards you. You were seated in the lavender’s basin, near other servants. The prince’s presence was not at all customary. He approached with a sure and fast pace. He stopped only once in front of you.

"Leave us." His voice left no choice to the servants present, who with a nod of the head went away. "We must speak."

You looked at the prince, while laying the linen to be taken from you, and let him speak.

"You have always been close to Alyssa..." Her eyes are darkened by the mention of his late wife. "And my children."

"That’s right my prince." This talk with Baelon made you uncomfortable, because you spoke very little to him now even less.

"Alyssa loved you very much, my sons also like you very much..."

Baelon sighed and sat down on the edge of the basin, you could see his purple eyes, circled by purple mark, the features of his face slightly dig in, you worried about him.

"I should not have gone into this war against Dorne... I should have stayed with her..."

"My prince... All hoped that the princess would recover... The maesters took care of her... We were all there... Her loss is a tragedy for all of us and even more so, for you and your sons. At least you were there, she knew you were safe and sound." You didn’t know if your words could help him but you tried anyway.

"What would have happened if I wasn’t here?!"

"Your sons would have been by her side, your mother would have been by her side, we wouldn’t have let her go alone."

Baelon began to weep, tears slowly flowing from his eyes.

"Why her ? What did I do to lose her ?"

"Nothing wrong, my prince..."

"I never cheated on her, never had bastards... And... And..." Baelon’s not going to continue his cries taking the lead.

"I’m sorry my prince..." You don’t look at him anymore, leaving a hesitant hand, to rest on one of his shoulders.

You felt him redeem, at the touch of your hand, but say nothing, leaving completely to his sadness.

"You are not alone, my prince... We are here to support you"

Baelon remained in the basin for several hours, showing his grief completely. It gripped your heart, you could not imagine how much it had to be destroyed within itself. It was in silence that you finished your washing, at the prince’s expense.

"You go to Daemon and Viserys?"

"After changing the sheets of Prince Aegon’s crib."

"How do my children react?"

"They miss you, my prince... It would be good for them to see you." Baelon looked at you with his purple eyes. " They need you my prince, you have lost your wife, but they have lost their mother... Let them not lose their father too. "

"Yes... you’re right... but it’s so hard..."

"Seeing them might do you some good, my prince." Baelon looked at you and you smiled softly.

“Maybe... yes...”

Baelon nodded his head, before moving to your side towards the castle. Your arms carrying baskets of linens. The wind blew gently, letting fly away the few dead leaves that had formed in this early autumn.

"My prince, I hope that one day your heart will find peace..."

“I doubt that will ever happen.”

"We don’t know what the future holds for us, my prince, your sons may give you some peace."

“The void left by Alyssa is so great...”

"But your sons are present, they hold your heart."

Baelon shook his head slightly, think of your words, full of optimism, that optimism which had been torn away from him for several days.

---

Tag list : @avalyaaa

#baelon targaryen x reader #daemon x reader #daemon targaryen x reader #viserys targaryen x reader #chubby reader #house of the dragon fiction

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dnd-writes · 1 year ago

Text

Boulevard of Broken Dreams - Pt. 1

AO3

Tags: Non-con, this whole fic is just one whole degenerate lump of non-con, so warning all of you already at the beginning. BFH, very degenerate, unedited, Third-person PoV (cause easier that way), sex slave!Julie, sex slave!Natty, sex slave!Belle, sex slave!Haneul, sex slave!Kiss of Life, sexual slavery, sexual exploitation, contract manipulation, clothing control, slapping, punching, kicking, spitting, deflowering, anal deflowering, painal, dry vaginal sex, facefucking, cum on food, frozen dildos, I think that's all or most of it but you get the point

A/N: 1. First of all, thank you to @fillinforlater for the fic idea. Idk what the fuck happened, at first I was following the plot he laid out, then I changed this part, then I added this part, then this, then that, and I blink and all of a sudden I have this monstrosity of a fic 2. Fic has nothing to do with the song, just thought it would fit as a title 3. If anyone asks, for this fic I "changed the timeline" of KIOF's pre-debut stuff to essentially fit in June 2023, cause y'know, Haneul. 4. Part 1 cause Smite's prompt had a second part that I also want to write but it's gotten so long I decided to split the fic into two? parts.

It’s finally happened, she’s finally done it! After years of hardships and struggles Natty has finally achieved her goal of being in a K-pop girl group, the dream she once thought to be impossible now becoming a reality as she takes the pen and puts her signature down on the contract with tears filling her eyes. Some might call her crazy or an overreactor for bawling out but for someone who has gotten eliminated in the finals of not one but two survival shows, tears of joy sound like a reasonable reaction.

Although Natty has already spent nearly a decade training, she is still looking forward to training more with her new groupmates. Even if it might take a decade more, as long as her dream comes alive, to her it’s all worth it.

Natty expected to be surprised on her first day but she wasn’t ready to face what was in store for her. Having been a trainee for almost half her life, there’s no doubt that Natty has heard rumors about the industry, the drastic measures required to stay in form, the horrible things that happen away from prying eyes, the exploitation, the harassment. Though to her, they were all just rumors, just silly little things that people made up, little did she know that the rumors were just a teaser of what’s to come.

Natty goes through the front doors but instead of the vibrant and cheerful place she visited not long ago, the company now has a faint and eerie atmosphere. Lights are off, not a sign of any person in the immediate vicinity, it’s like the place never was alive to begin with. “Maybe I just came in at a wrong time,” she thinks as she navigates her way to her destination. Natty ascends to the fifth floor and as she makes it there, she hears subtle heavy breathing echoing along the halls. She decides not to get too curious and instead looks for the meeting place.

Natty stands just outside the door with a large smile prepared on her face, “This is it,” she tells herself as she gets ready to meet her new sisters. Her jolly expression quickly fades as she breaches the door, sitting inside are two of her three new groupmates. While very excited to finally meet them for the first time, what catches her attention the most are their outfits—both of them revealing way too much skin, a stark contrast to the jacket and jeans she has on. One of them is wearing booty shorts and a crop top cut short enough to barely cover her nipples and Natty notices that she doesn’t seem to have a bra underneath it. And all she can see on the other is a large red shirt barely making its way past her hips.

Natty forces back a smile, trying to regain the excitement she previously had. There’s just four seats in the middle of the room all facing each other and Natty takes one of the two empty ones. It was awkward at first but the tension slowly dissipated as the three began talking, though a sense of eeriness still lingers behind. They start off introducing themselves to each other and Natty quickly learns that it’s Haneul who is wearing the crop top and Belle is the one wearing the red shirt. Once they got the awkward introductions out of the way, they proceeded to talk about random things. They start to talk about their lives now, their lives as trainees in previous companies, how the two knew of Natty in her time in survival shows. Although, every time Natty would try to talk about their outfits, they would pause and take a deep breath but then they would either play it off as if it was a normal thing or just change the subject entirely.

With no obstructions between them, Natty can’t help but notice some details with their apparent choices of clothing. Natty doesn’t know if she’s just imagining it but when she looks at Haneul’s crop top, she swears she can see a hint of darkness which she can only guess to be are areolas. Then there’s Belle who is sitting in the chair across from her, her short red shirt hikes even higher up her body while she sits down and Natty can see, clear as day, Belle’s pussy just hanging in the breeze. Natty tries to ask her about it but Belle just looks at her as if she was a crazy person.

Eventually the last member arrives, Natty somewhat expected her to also be similarly dressed which she is but the state she came into the room in was what shocked her the most. The last member arrives wearing a yellow sundress though from the looks of it, it might be a size or two too small. As she stands there trying to introduce herself to Natty, she keeps on adjusting her dress, struggling between pulling it over her chest or pulling it below her hips. But her attire is the least alarming part, her hair is all frizzled, her lipstick is smeared, and there’s drops of liquid dripping from between her legs. Natty forces another smile as all four of them start to talk together. The mystery girl introduces herself as Julie, their new leader. Julie takes the remaining seat and, similar to Belle, her dress hikes up, even higher compared to Belle’s shirt, and Julie’s pussy is visible to everyone. No one comments on it but Natty quickly sees that a pool of white is forming between Julie’s legs and it seems to come from her pussy and her butt.

Natty was right in that her first day would be full of surprises, though she did not expect to be such horrible and gut wrenching surprises. On her way home, she starts to recall the rumors she has heard over the years and after thinking back to what she saw earlier, they’re starting to become less like rumors and more like the harsh reality of the industry. But Natty brushes the thoughts aside, thinking to herself that her dream of being part of a K-pop group is being fulfilled and if it means even worse and troubling obstacles, then she will just overcome them too. She has had years of training, what’s a questionable dress code compared to that?

The next day arrives and Natty tries to remain optimistic, wearing another bright smile as she enters the practice room, though just like the day before it quickly drops. There’s a fifth person joining them that day and Natty can only assume he’s their choreographer only except he’s wearing nothing but shorts. While his toned body is in no doubt hot and amazing, given the situation and the very very prominent tent he’s sporting, Natty is deeply disturbed.

She says hi to him and then at her group mates who she has just noticed are still wearing the same outfits as the day before albeit with some slight changes—Haneul’s isn’t even covering her chest anymore, just dangling like a necklace above her shoulders; Belle’s red shirt has streaks of white all over the front; and Julie’s dress has a rip at the top as if her breasts were breaking free. Natty couldn’t even find the time to feel sorry for them as the man starts to talk to her as she comes in. “Hey, you’re the new girl right? What are you wearing?”

Natty stands frozen in place. She hasn’t gotten any sort of instructions or clothing to wear. Has she missed something?

The man carries some papers over to her. “Did you not read this?” Natty recognizes the papers he’s holding, it’s the contract she signed. He flips through the pages and gives it to her, “See? Right here.” He points at the clause labeled “Attire” and Natty reads through the fine print. “In the company, the members should wear what is given to them or any clothing that they have. Provided that their tops have sleeves not longer than 10 cm and bottoms not longer than 20 cm.” With just her luck, she’s wearing a sweater and jeans that day. Natty couldn’t believe this, she remembers reading every detail of the contract but not once has she seen this. Natty continues to read the page and the next clause is labeled “Sex.” It reads, “The members cannot object to their bodies being touched or used by the employees of S2 Entertainment. The members must follow every order given to them, whether they are willing to do so or not. If the task is impossible to do, the members must accomplish it to the best of their ability. None of this can be mentioned to anyone outside of S2 Entertainment.” Natty could not believe her eyes, such inhuman clauses on her own contract. She hastily checks the last page and there sits her signature, bright as day. She looks at the others in disbelief but they can only stare right back at her with empty expressions.

The man grabs the papers back. “Well? The clothes we have are still in the laundry, so unless you have spare clothes with you or something, the only solution is to undress.” Natty looks at the others again for help but they just shake their heads and Julie mouths “Sorry” to her. “Are you going to do something about it or do you want me to take care of it?” Driven by fear of getting manhandled, Natty turns around and rushes to take her clothes off. Even with her back to everyone, she can feel the stares stabbing into her back. She feels so sick and dirty as she takes her sweater off and as she shimmies her pants off of her hips, she doesn’t realize she was involuntarily shaking her ass for everyone not until the man squeezes her butt.

Natty shivers in the cold room but it pales in comparison to being just in her underwear. Though it’s just the choreographer she has to be worried about, the lustful stare he gives her is enough to make her cry. Julie tries to console Natty but not a second later Natty hears a slap echo in the room, she looks up to see the choreographer in front of Julie who’s holding the side of her face.

The rest of the day goes pretty ok given the circumstances, mostly just going over the song and the choreography that went along with it, though their instructor occasionally helped himself to cop a feel while teaching and he seemed to be most interested in Natty, always focusing on her mistakes, groping and feeling every inch of her body as he “teaches” the dance.

The next day, Natty moves into the group’s dorm. “This time, it will be better,” she tells herself, maintaining that bright and optimistic perspective on life. She hopes that in the dorm it will be much funner and freeing, just her and her group mates living together and hanging out all the time.

She opens the door and peers inside, to her surprise it’s really clean and quiet. Although she’s been very optimistic about things, deep down she was expecting similar horrors to what she has seen the previous days and seeing such a pristine and spacious living space is enough of a relief for her. After bringing her things through the door, Natty explores the place. In the living room there’s a huge flatscreen TV and a couch big enough to fit more than four people, and in the kitchen there’s lots of space available and a big fridge. Natty checks the fridge and salivates seeing lots of veggies and drinks inside, then she checks the freezer and almost falls to her knees from hunger seeing all the meat. Natty was about to slam the door shut when she notices a red dildo slightly hidden in one of the layers, she gives it a touch and confirms that it is ice cold. She blushes slightly, thinking that one of her group mates is kinky like that.

Natty hops over to the rooms, excited to see what those are like after seeing how extravagant the common areas are. She first checks on the room to the right, as she goes in she’s met with a very odd-looking room, half is very bland and empty while the other half is very decorated. “This must be my side,” she whispers while looking at the empty space. Over in the decorated half she sees Haneul fast asleep in her bed, seeing her wearing pajamas and not some skimpy outfit brings a smile to her face.

Natty closes the door gently as she makes her way to the next room. She barges through the door and immediately regrets it, the dorm which she expected to be their “safe space” away from the shit they have to go through at the company, turns out to just be an elegant looking prison. Natty was so happy about the place but unfortunately, it was too good to be true.

Natty sees three people all in one bed. Nearest to her is Belle, lying on her back and sobbing into her hands while a red dildo is shoved in her ass. Next to her is Julie and some man relentlessly pounding into her from behind. Only the man reacts to Natty’s arrival, looking over his shoulder to smile at Natty, it’s a different man, one Natty hasn’t met before. “Hi, Natty… I’m your… manager… Will you be a good girl and… pull that out of Belle?”

Natty should feel offended by such a crude question but after a week of “training,” she’s gotten to know better. Disgusted and disturbed yet Natty still drags her feet across the floor towards the three of them. “Just pull it out but do it slowly, don’t want to hurt her… even more,” he quickly adds the last part, chuckling as he does so, clearly enjoying himself at the expense of Julie’s and Belle’s pain.

Natty glances at Belle, her face hidden in her hands, her body red and blue all over, her ass adorned with a bright red toy. She touches the base and immediately recalls her hand, it’s cold, ice cold. Natty considers herself a fool for even thinking for a moment that the freezer dildo was a kink thing, perhaps it might, but not for the person she thought it to be.

Belle’s quiet sobs turn to whines as Natty starts pulling the dildo out, the sound alone is enough to bring tears to Natty’s eyes, knowing that even though she’s helping, she’s still causing some pain. Natty continues to pull but at her slow pace it feels like it would take forever, she doesn’t even know how long the dildo is and as more inches get pulled out, the more worried she gets knowing how far it was in Belle and how much it could have hurt.

Finally she pulls the thing out which calms Belle, her asshole closes back up, her body relaxes, and her cries die down. Natty looks at the dildo in her hand, the thing is almost as long as her forearm, she quickly throws it away and out of her sight.

Their manager turns to see that Natty has done what he requested, he gives Belle a slap on the ass and then Natty a pat on the head. “Oh nice… you’re a good girl... Natty… So here’s… your reward…” Before Natty could process anything he said or did, she feels her hair being yanked and her face quickly diving towards the bed. He makes her face to the side and starts to paint Natty in his cum. She hasn’t felt cum yet, let alone seen a dick in person, but the warmth and stench it leaves is enough for her to hate it.

“Wake Haneul up and have her clean you up, or you could just drink it all yourself, I wouldn’t mind. Just make sure to record, ok? When you’re done, Natty, meet me in my room, it’s at the end of the hall.”

And just like that he leaves, satisfied and so full of himself, while the three girls lay exhausted and broken.

Julie is the first one to recover among the three of them. “Let’s get you cleaned up. I’ll go get Haneul, he hates waiting too long.” Before Julie can step away, Natty grabs her wrist. “N-No! I’ll do it. I’ll… try to do it.”

“You sure? Alright then. My advice is just do it quickly. Hwaiting.” Julie flashes a weak smile and raises her fist for encouragement and Natty reciprocates the action.

Julie takes her phone and starts recording. Natty sits at the edge of the bed with Belle just slightly out of the shot. Natty scoops up all the cum on the side of her face, just doing so disgusts her immensely. With most of the white liquid in her palm, she puts everything in her mouth and gulps it all down. For a second all is well but the aftertaste hits her like a truck and she starts coughing again and again. She expected to hate it but it was beyond awful. Only when Natty calms down does Julie stop recording.

“Go to his room, it’s on the left. I’ll just put this back in the freezer,” says Julie as she picks up the dildo from the floor.

“He hates waiting.” Natty repeats, with no time to rest, she gets to her feet and moves to the manager’s room. Natty’s hand reaches for the doorknob but she stops herself before she can even touch it. This time around she opts to knock instead of just barging in. “Come in,” says the voice from the other side. Natty enters the room, it looks much bigger and more grand than the other rooms, a bigger bed, a TV, a mini-fridge, it was practically its own apartment. “So nice of you to knock, you’re still dressed but that’s an easy fix.”

She notices him ruffling through some stuff in his drawer, she tries to take a peek but he closes it before she can see what was inside. In his hands are a remote and a collar with her name on it. “We just met a few minutes ago but I think you’re my favorite already.” He puts the collar on her, tightening it so it fits exactly around her neck. “Whenever you’re here at the dorm, you have to wear this, ok? And everytime I press this button.” He raises the remote and clicks it, sending a small stinging sensation to Natty’s neck. “You have to come to me. It’s only at one right now but if you’re not here within five minutes of me clicking it, it goes up by one, permanently.” Natty gulps but with the collar snug around her neck, it made it a little uncomfortable.

“Ok so where’s the video?”

“Ah, Ju-”

As her name is mentioned, Julie barges into the room, phone outstretched with the video ready to play.

“Ah, there it is. Thank you, Julie.” Julie hands her phone over and stands in place, like a robot waiting for her next command. “Aww, look at Belle sleeping so peacefully. Oh wonderful, drinking it all by yourself. See, I knew you would be my favorite.” He hands the phone back to Julie and she starts to leave but before she makes it out he issues one final order for her. “Julie, be a dear and get Haneul. She’s been sleeping all day, I haven’t had my fun with her yet. Actually, you know what? Now that Natty’s here, just get everyone.”

With just the two of them left in the room, he walks over to Natty. Seeing his erect dick twitching so much causes her to involuntarily step backwards and his brows suddenly furrow. “Now, now, Natty.” The sudden change in his tone and expression is enough to strike fear in her heart, afraid of a punishment she puts her foot back to its original spot causing his smile to return.

“Sweaters. Always so annoying, I heard you’re huge but I can’t really tell with that stupid thing hiding your tits. From now on in the dorm, Natty, only wear tight tops. Oh, better yet, no tops at all. The only thing I want to see you wearing above your hips is that collar.”

Instantly Natty’s hands start to move, getting rid of any clothing on her torso as soon as the new rule is implemented. She can see it in his eyes, hunger ever growing with each article of clothing she removes. As soon as her shirt comes off, he starts salivating. “My, oh my, you’re huge. Looks like Julie’s got competition.” Natty reaches behind herself to unhook her bra but pauses for a moment, she realizes this is the first time she would show her breasts to anyone, many have touched and played with them at the company but not one has unveiled her boobs. As her bra falls, his dick twitches in excitement.

The rest of the group arrives. Belle is the first to enter, her legs very tired and her ass still very sore. Next comes Haneul, yawning and rubbing her eyes. Last is Julie, her head held high and her face serious, looking like a guard rounding up the inmates although she isn’t any less of a prisoner compared to the other girls in the room. The four just stand in silence like mannequins and their manager walks around and gropes whatever he pleases as if doing some inspection.

“Haneul… what did we say?” says the manager very disappointedly. His tone shocks her awake, “I-I’m sorry,” she bows then starts getting out of her clothes. He scoots over to her and slaps her in the face. “I’ll let you off easy this time since Natty’s finally here but I’m doubling the next punishment.”

After Haneul, he moves over to Belle, whose legs are barely keeping her standing. “You cross me again, I’ll make sure you won’t even be able to walk for the rest of the day.” He punches Belle and she easily drops to the ground sobbing, he kicks her while she’s down to add insult to injury. Natty can only shiver upon hearing everything happen behind her, does she even want to know what Belle did to make him so mad?

He moves over to Julie and the first thing he does is spit on her face then he uses his fingers to smear it all over. Julie keeps her composure, just closing her eyes as he plays with her face, not flinching or whining at all. “You should thank Natty for being here, ‘cause you’ll finally have some time to rest.” His hands cup her breasts, giving them a proper feel before he moves on to a bigger and better pair.

Finally he comes back around to Natty, the only person in the room with any piece of clothing still on. “Tell me, Natty… Have you fucked before?” Natty gulps again knowing the implications, though it was bound to happen eventually. She shakes her head and he smiles. “Oh, a virgin? So many people in that building and not one has fucked you? Well their loss, we’re gonna have so much fun together.”

“Change of plans girls, looks like I need some ‘catching up’ to do with Natty. Go do whatever you want for now, we’ll be here for a full day or two.”

But just before he dismisses them, he goes back to Belle, still on the ground holding her side. He spits on her face too but this time he uses his foot to smear her face. “Don’t think I’m done with you just yet. Be ready for your final ‘lesson’ when I’m done with Natty. Now go, all three of you, leave.”

It’s wicked really, how sick and twisted all of this is, all the expectations Natty had, completely flipped around. Shining eyes looking up to her turns out to be lustful stares looking down, helping hands turn out to be forceful gropes, and managers turn out to be owners. Natty looks over her shoulder with tears starting to form in her eyes, though her hands remain still, her stare acts like a hand reaching out to save her from the depths of hell but alas, all Haneul and Julie could do is return similar sad gestures as they carry Belle away.

The manager locks the door as the three leave and immediately gets back to Natty, even with all the time in the world at his disposal, he wouldn’t want to waste a single second. With the rest of the group gone, Natty feels even more miniscule and useless, even more of a toy as his gaze is solely on her. He comes up behind her and fills his hands with her tits, with Julie’s he can still grasp the whole thing in his hands but Natty’s can barely be fully contained. He starts to fondle and play with her nipples while slowly moving his mouth closer to her neck.

Natty easily starts to moan loudly, she wants to keep quiet to avoid giving him that pleasure but her complete lack of experience and the resulting lack of tolerance betrays her. He sniffs along her neck, “You smell so good and your tits… so fucking soft.” He finds a patch of skin along the front of her neck and starts to kiss and suckle on it, Natty explodes into a moaning mess, shouting in pleasure as if she’s having the time of her life.

The pleasure gets cut short as his hands move down to her waist. “Sweatpants… another cock blocker. From now on, just don’t wear anything, Natty. Your body is so hot and irresistible, wouldn’t want any clothes hiding your beauty. Don’t worry about getting cold, just come to me and you’ll be warmed up in no time.” His fingers slip into the waistbands and he slides both her underwear and her sweatpants down to the ground. He’s the first one to see her tits and now he’s also the first one to see her bare ass and pussy. As much as she doesn't want to think about it, he probably will be the first dick she takes in every hole.

The manager circles Natty slack-jawed and wide-eyed as if admiring a sculpture he has just made. “Fat ass, soft and heavy tits, pretty face. You’re just the perfect little toy, aren’t you? And a virgin too, just the absolute best, if I could I would just own you forever but sadly I’ve got a job to do. Although… maybe I can have you be my roommate instead of Haneul’s, that’s probably the closest I’ll get.” He leans down and frowns at what he sees. “Unshaved, unfortunate, guess you can’t have absolutely everything but it’ll do. First thing I want you to do when you’re out of this room is get that shaved, got it?” Natty’s been unmoving and frozen in place for so long that it takes her a second before nodding her head.

The manager pushes Natty onto the bed then flips her to face him. Her full body is on display for him, each delicacy just sitting idle like food in a buffet, up for grabs at any time. He licks his lips as he considers his options.

“Two virgin holes, which to try first? The other three bitches came here already used, so this will be a first for you and me.” He slaps his dick against her pussy, grinding on it and feeling the slight hint of wetness it’s giving off. Next he considers her asshole, very puckered and looking very small compared to the head of his cock as he pokes her with it. He licks a finger and prods inside, the way his finger barely pushes through excites him and the way Natty winces seals the deal for him.

He lifts Natty’s legs up and hooks them over his shoulders, giving him a perfect angle to ravage her ass. He lines himself up and slowly pushes his way in, not even bothering to spread her cheeks to mitigate the tightness. Natty is already breathing heavily as she feels her asshole stretching to accommodate him. “Please,” she begs. “It… It won’t fit.”

He just smiles and caresses her cheek. “That’s the fun part, a tiny virgin asshole broken open by my cock. I’m gonna remember this forever.”

As soon as Natty’s sphincter spreads wide enough for his girth, he shoves the whole thing inside. “AHHHH!!! TAKE IT OUT! TAKE IT OUT!” Natty fires a blood-curdling scream as his cock swiftly overwhelms her. It hurt for him too given how dry her butt is but only barely, plus her cries only work to alleviate him.

He locks her legs in his arms and her hips in his hands to keep her from moving. Her hands might be free but Natty doesn’t have the strength or the courage to lift them up. Her ass feels like it’s on fire from the dry friction between the two of them. To her, it’s like hell. To him, the fire feels like an invigorating force.

Her anal walls hug him so tightly, it’s like Natty’s ass is begging him to fill her up and who is he to turn down such a request. Her ass is so tight, it’s practically milking him dry, any tighter and he might not be able to pull out. In just a few minutes he starts to orgasm, the hardest and fastest one he’s had with any of the four girls. He pulls out and scrambles to find his phone, wanting to cherish this moment forever. “Second load of cum and many more to go. You’re gonna be such a wonderful cum bucket, Natty, milking me everyday. You’re going to love my cum and my dick in no time.”

Natty tries to stand, to do something, anything, but her body is just worn out already, completely exhausted, completely given up. The manager, on the other hand, is the exact opposite, even after tearing Natty’s asshole apart, he’s still hard and ready for another round. This time he has his eyes set on her cherished virginity.

He hooks her legs back onto his shoulders but this time he carries her then pins her to the wall with her wrists bound by his hand above her head. While flexibility isn’t a problem for Natty, she is now face to face with her assaulter. She closes her eyes and looks away but that doesn’t stop her from feeling his hot breath on her face. His tongue pokes out and licks along her cheek, tasting her tears and her sweat, he leaves a trail of his saliva as he travels from her jaw to her ear. “So salty, so delicious. Everything about you is so delicious, you know that? Now I’m gonna enjoy fucking your pussy, I’m gonna see just how tight you fucking are.”

Tears fall nonstop from her eyes. Natty’s sobbing grows strong as she feels his heat pressing against hers. She so badly wants to beg him to stop, to let her rest, but her voice can’t manage to form words and she knows he wouldn’t listen anyway.

He lines himself up with her folds and in one swift motion, he pistons his cock inside. “AHHHH!!! FUCK! PLEASE!!!” her voice only manages to come back during moments of intense pain. “Oh, Natty, your cunt. Fuuuuuuck, that’s the best pussy ever.” Her pussy is heavenly, it’s so tight that it’s almost orgasmic when he penetrates her. He just loves the way Natty squeezes around him. He also loves hearing her cry out in pain, to him it’s like a choir of angels. He relishes in the feeling of Natty’s pussy, living in his own twisted version of heaven.

As he pounds into her from below, Natty’s tits bounce freely in front of him and he doesn’t waste a second as his mouth latches onto her chest, after all, a little side dish won’t hurt while he enjoys the main meal. He bites her nipples, pulling and squeezing them with his teeth, only adding more pain to what Natty is already experiencing.

The two of them fucked endlessly in that locked room while the other three finally got some rest, though they couldn’t quite live in blissful harmony as Natty’s screaming kept them aware of their situation, the walls were thin enough to let Natty’s wails of terror flood the whole dorm. While the other three girls were able to sleep through it, in the morning they still heard Natty screaming and begging, though her voice much weaker and hoarser.

There’s just so much to do with Natty, just pure lust and adrenaline fueling the manager all throughout the night. All the positions he could take her in, all the things he can do, all the possibilities, everything that Natty’s body can offer, he takes. He fucked her all over the room, didn’t even matter how or where, he just slams her down somewhere and fucks her in whatever hole he felt fit. He fucked her face against the wall, then fucked her ass while he pressed her face onto the floor, then fucked her pussy while missionary on the floor, then fucked her ass doggystyle on the bed, then fucked her face while her head hung off the bed, then fucked her ass in the shower. Just so much cum in and on her body in the span of a couple of hours and yet he is still going strong.

The next day comes around and there doesn’t seem to be any lapse in their action. Stretching from before the rise of the sun all the way to after it set, just endless screaming of pure pain and agony coming from Natty. The only time the manager interacted with the rest of the girls was when he asked Julie to cook up a meal for them. The door finally opened again for the first time in two days as Julie brought her cooking.

“Ah, pork belly, I’m starving. Thank you so much, Julie. I see you’ve gotten comfortable without me pestering you all the time,” he says as he sees Julie wearing some pajamas. “Oh, two plates? We won’t be needing that,” he chuckles as he returns the second set of utensils as well. Just before the door closes, Julie takes a peek over his shoulder and sees Natty practically lifeless on the floor. The manager gives Julie a quick smile, proud of his own work, then locks the door.

The manager walks over to the bed and nudges Natty with his foot before getting himself comfortable. Natty, almost void of all energy, springs to life as she smells the delicious food. Natty sits patiently, silently jealous as she stares at her manager eating all by himself. He points to his dick and Natty can only sigh as she lowers her face in front of it.

The manager puts his hand on the back of her head and Natty opens her mouth, but instead of pushing down he says, “Let’s play a game, Natty. If you make me cum before I finish the food, you can have the rest of it.”

Natty doesn’t exactly have much knowledge on how to pleasure a dick, her only experience being the one dick that’s been forced in her body the past two days. She’s already come to terms with the fact that she might not eat for two days straight but regardless she tries her best.

Natty employs the small pieces of advice she’s heard him tell her. Even though she’s basically just moving her head along his length, judging from his moans he seems to be enjoying it so she goes faster.

“Fuck, Natty. Fuck… I’m gonna cum…” He takes over this time, gripping the back of her head as she immediately chokes. “Don’t… swallow it, fuck.” He struggles to squeeze his words out of his mouth as another orgasm makes its way into Natty’s mouth, only this time around it pools on her tongue. She already hates cum to begin with, cringing inside whenever she would taste it but with a whole load lingering in her mouth, revolting is an understatement. She struggles to hold it all in, not just because of the taste but also because of how much he gave her, her cheeks are full and just a little more it would probably overflow.

He holds the plate of what’s about a quarter of the total meat still left on it. “Spit,” he commands and without hesitation she opens her mouth and deposits the batch onto the plate. “Go on, everything, spit into it.” She does as ordered, mixing the remnants with saliva and spitting onto the food. He spits onto the plate as well and mixes the meat with the “sauce” then puts it on the other side of the bed from her. “Go eat.”

Natty tries to get up and walk to the other side but the manager has other plans. He grabs her hair again and pulls her across the bed, forcing her to kneel down. “Come on, eat up.” He moves over behind her and lines up with her pussy. “Don’t waste anything, when you’re done I want that plate clean.” Natty stares at the disgusting abomination in front of her and she feels even more disgusted and degraded knowing that even when it comes to food she’s being treated like a dog. Her stomach gurgles, no matter how disgusting the food may be, she still has to eat. Natty tries to look at the brighter side of things, at the very least she’s eating actual food and not some slop that looks inedible.

On the third day of her imprisonment, Natty is completely exhausted and broken. She just lies on her back, barely even reacting to anything her manager does anymore, there’s cum on almost every inch of her body and yet she doesn’t bother to clean it.

Julie knocks to bring them breakfast, the manager gets the door but instead of just taking the food he tells Julie to give it to Natty. “She’s not fun anymore so I’ll be going back to you guys. And besides, the company is looking for her, can’t have her here forever.” As soon as the manager leaves, Julie rushes over to Natty and tends to her.

The manager, clearly unsatisfied with Natty’s unresponsiveness and clearly needing a release, turns to Belle for release.

“AHHH!!! Wait, no, please… I’m sorry.” He barges into her room and she immediately shrieks upon seeing him. In the short span of two days, she’s gotten used to not being around him but here he is to remind her of her place. “I promise I won’t do it again, I—” She tries to get away but she’s stuck in the corner and all she can do is sink herself further into it. He doesn’t stop or even think for a second about what he’s doing, he just walks up and punches her face, adding another bruise to the multiple he’s given her.

“Haneul? Get in here!” he shouts at the top of his lungs. While waiting, he pulls Belle’s face to the edge of the bed and starts facefucking her, all the while alternating between slapping her tits and punching her pussy.

“Haneul?!” he calls again after a few minutes. After cumming down Belle’s throat and Haneul still hasn’t arrived, he marches over to her room. Not really to his surprise, he finds Haneul sleeping soundly in her bed. For one second he smiles, admiring her beauty before proceeding to ruin it.

He punches her which brings her wide awake. He tugs her hair to bring her face close to his. “Always sleeping, you lazy cunt. Maybe you need a lesson too.” Haneul screams and thrashes as she’s dragged across the floor by her hair towards Belle’s room.

The next few days and weeks go by with the members somewhat getting used to and coping with the treatment that they are going through. Lots of practicing and “training” happens at the company, mostly the latter, then their manager has fun with them at the dorm. At the very least their manager is kind, all things considered, just as long as they follow his orders, so they still get to somewhat relax at the dorm. And whenever no one is using their bodies, the girls hang out, talk with each other, and comfort each other, growing a bond and giving each other hope to carry on until they debut.

The month ends and it’s finally time for Kiss of Life to debut. The four are no doubt incredibly excited, they finally get to wear clothes that cover most of their body, finally have some time away from the perverts, and most of all, they finally get to debut and live out their dreams of being K-pop idols, though little do they know what their company still has in store for them, even in public view.

A/N 2: So if you made it here, congratulations, you're as much of a degenerate as I am :). Anyway, while part 1 is mostly focused on Natty, part 2 would likely be four "mini-fics" in one, each focusing on one member. Subject to change but most likely it would be like that

#kpop #kpop smut #kiss of life #kiss of life smut #natty #natty smut #julie #julie smut #belle #belle smut #haneul #haneul smut

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tuliptic · 5 months ago

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SLUMP: How Do I Get Out Of Here

Too many times we’ve fallen into slumps and have had trouble picking ourselves up again. This reading serves to be a guidance on how we can be kind to ourselves, how we can get ourselves out from this pit of darkness and walk towards where we belong.

Close your eyes, meditate on this topic and ask yourself the question: Where are you, how are you gonna get out of here? Breathe in and out, make sure your mind and heart is calm. Then, open your eyes to see which pile talks to you the most/draws you in the most. Once you’ve found your pile, scroll down to the respective parts to see what are the messages for you.

Pile 1 - Pile 2

Pile 3 - Pile 4

Disclaimer: This is solely for my entertainment purposes. Take only whatever you feel like it. If it doesn’t resonate, it’s okay to just drop it. Also, I do not consent to my work or images being used by third parties on this platform or other websites as well.

Decks used: Crossing Star Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Luna Cat Tarot Deck (Major Arcana), Linestrider Tarot Deck, Sweet Dreams Oracle Deck, Starcodes Astro Oracle Deck.

Pile 1 - Trickle

A card to symbolise you: The Hermit, The Moon

Aite it ended up with two cards. The first thing I’m picking up here is that there is a need for you to step into the unknown instead of wandering around the entrance. Sure, seeing the dark ahead is scary, but you’re the Hermit, you have your torch with you, and the Moon is shining above you, lighting the path as you take your steps. It’s difficult if you wander around without directions, but you have light guiding your way. You know your goals and how you wanna achieve, all that’s left is to tread carefully to reach the exit. The Moon here is giving me spiritual vibes, so you may turn to that for an extra hand, and an extra opinion so that you can see things from another point of view, and to learn something new.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Pentacles

You've taken up a lot of responsibilities, thinking that it's all your obligation. It's not. All these burdens have piled up on your back, crushing you as time passes. As this went on, people around you have… Well… Taken advantage of you. It’s a little bit difficult to say cuz you tend to be the person who focuses on the main picture and the collective benefit, so you allow yourself to take up more responsibilities. This can also be an excuse to run away from interpersonal problems, especially between family members. Or, there may be a possibility of you not having a decent relationship with your family members, that you have to focus on work and find your worth through your career.

2. How do you get out of here? The High Priestess rx

You’re more of a practical kinda person, focusing on what you can see and what you can comprehend, instead of the spiritual aspect of the world. With this, there may be a loss of connection with your intuition and/or inner voice. You will need to tune into your intuition, pay attention to the voices in you instead of the voices outside (remember to not get it mixed up with anxiety). When you’re feeling low or challenged, remember that you are loved, and you are worthy of love. There’s a saying I’ve read somewhere, “Those who are loved have the strength to conquer difficulties”. Know your worth and accept it. You have come this far, and you will continue to go further.

3. What can you learn from this? Ten of Pentacles

One of your core values is family. You may have been brought up with the concept that family is important and how it has shaped you to who you are today. However, you are called to check if this value aligns with you, aligns with your emotional and mental needs. With the wrong people, it’s no longer an alliance but a discord. You learn the needs of having proper and healthy connection, and how to unlearn old values and beliefs that no longer help you, picking up new values and beliefs along the way. Focus your energy and effort on That One Thing that you want to achieve (purpose), and water that plant (intent). Once you’ve put in the right gear, the rest will fall in place, and you’ll see the results in plain sight.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Three of Cups

Your friends are your greatest support system, but I’m also gonna remind you to also be the friend they need. Although the theory of love languages is a scam, to understand what the other person needs in a friendship (or any forms of relationship) is necessary, else you’re just imposing your ideals onto them. To me, it feels like growing together, relearning new things (or old things) about yourself, understanding yourself better and how to treat yourself better. Hang out with your inner child, do whatever it is that your inner child has wanted to do the entire while. For example, you’ve wanted to colour your hair ever since you're in secondary school, do it; if you’ve wanted to get a new piercing, do it. Go ahead and do whatever it is that you’ve wanted to do (as long as it’s not against the law or rules of whatever institutes that you’re in).

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Cups rx

Hmmm… Your emotions are… Rather turbulent, I’d say. There’s an unhealthy stream of emotions that you’re holding back, and the dam is about to break. A lot of healing needs to be done, where you need to focus on yourself, to express selflessness and fairness over yourself first. Not to sound discouraging, but you may never heal from certain trauma, where you can only learn to walk away from whatever that is and live with it. Even though you’re surrounded by obstacles right now, remember that with time and the right amount of attention and effort, you can work through almost any deadlock. By then, you’ll be stronger and more capable to work towards your dreams, desires and goals.

6. Advice for you: The World rx, The Empress

Your journey is far from over, and to some of you, you may not even know where you’re headed, not knowing where your goal is. It can sound discouraging, but I think the beauty in it is that you get to look around and learn, absorb as much knowledge as you want, level up yourself as you go. It’s like… Your goal is to learn and experience, to grow as a being, and let that be part of your soul journey. Be kind to yourself. I feel that many who picked this pile have trouble treating themselves well, financially and emotionally. Some may also be people pleaser because that was what they’ve been taught when they’re kids, and this is a sign that it’s high time for you to cut away from those habits. It may be difficult to cut it off, but at least, recognize and acknowledge this part of you. If you choose to believe that you’re not one, then you won’t work on it. Let your journey on this earth be a fun and comfortable one, where you put your needs first, focusing on yourself. You are not supposed to burn yourself to warm others. Learn to appreciate yourself more, learn to live for yourself.

Overall energy: The Devil, Two of Cups rx, The High Priestess

I’m immediately picking up energies of self-sabotaging. I don’t think I need to further elaborate on this, those who know it will know it. I feel that this pile may listen to their logic more to the point that they ignore everything else, may it be your intuition or your feelings, making you misaligned with yourself. Calm yourself down, stay quiet, focus on one point, and sit there with your head blank (if you need some background noise to help you, do so). Once your head stops screaming, ask yourself about the emotions that you’ve been feeling. Listen to your heart, listen to what it’s trying to tell you. Align yourself to the path you’ve wanted to take. Cultivate yourself, create and enjoy. Invite limitless magic into your life through whatever that goes through your hand. Welcome yourself onto this Earth.

Pile 2 - Breeze

A card to symbolise you: Death

Changes come and go as the breeze, lightly and without you noticing. It also feels that the changes you bring and the changes you experienced can be similar, where it’s… Nonchalant. There’s not much emotional attachment with whatever you’re holding to, and when it changes, you accept the changes because they don’t affect you much. The transforming energy this card holds is not something sudden, but something that gradually happens over time. It’s like the straws stacking up on the camel’s back. One day, one last straw will break the camel’s back, and that’s when you have to make necessary changes to make sure you survive. This is you right now, and unlike other piles, you are aware of this. It’s still gonna take quite a bit for you to take any action because you don’t think you’re at that point of breaking yet.

1. How did you get here? Knight of Swords rx

You probably have not been paying attention to whatever that’s going on with your life. It feels like… You go along with the flow too much, not paying attention to where the final destination is going to be, focusing very much on the present. With that, people can come in and influence you to work to what they want. I wouldn’t say that they’re bad guys, but imagine parents that can be controlling, wanting you to do things according to their way/method cuz they believe it’s the best for you. Some may actually guilt trip you, or use you to their own convenience, depending on what’s going on and if your family is so. As that goes on, you’ve given up taking control over your own life, only focusing on surviving the days. It’s high time for you to realise where you are standing right now, and hence, you’re experiencing this burn out. You will need to clear your mind and heart of negativity, as well as negative influence to at least rekindle the passion you have towards life.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Wands

Rise and leave. This card talks about action, and it’s gonna be very fast. Give them no time to think or to react. Make sure your wings are strong enough to carry you far, make sure whatever chains of negative influences end with you. Take this as a sign to put your hesitation aside and go for it! You may feel as though you’re being trapped in a whirlwind with how everything is happening around you, but place your trust in yourself as well as your higher self. Things will be fine, and you’ll be able to see how your plans worked out. However, remember to step forward with plans and proposals. If you do not feel prepared enough to take any action, it’s okay. Rest, grow stronger and prepare yourself, so that when the chance comes, you’ll be able to take off without any hesitation. You’ll be surprised with how far your dreams have guided you.

3. What can you learn from this? Six of Cups

First thing I’m picking up from here is networking/connections. During this period of time, you probably have made new friends along the way. However, if you look back, you'll notice the similarities between the new friends you've made and your friends from childhood. This is because you tend to fall back into things that provide you comfort and familiarity. Similarly, you fall back to friends and/or family that have stayed with you throughout these while, eventho they have not been kind to you, because of that familiarity. You are called to do some introspection, to discern and decide how you want your life to be, what you are going to do to get that life you wanted.

4. What should you do if this happens again? Six of Wands rx

Should this happen again, stay low and remember where you came from, remember that place of pain where you've finally left, and remind yourself to stay on your toes. Do not think highly of yourself, of how strong you've become and finally you can stand against it. Don't let your ego feed into you. You are very well capable of falling into old patterns again if you have not gone for any therapy. Seek help from some other authorities that you trust, else, you search for people you trust to help you out from this. Remember, there's only so much you can do, and the most important one among all is to protect yourself. You will heal, but you’ll need to take time, allow yourself some rest time for you to regain your energy. You’ll know when you’re healing, or fully healed. Healing is never linear, so don’t rush yourself.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ten of Pentacles

There’s a lot that you have, abundance in finance and human connection. Ten of Pentacles is usually a family card, but I’m also seeing it as a found family, where you select who you want to be in your life. With Pentacles, I’m seeing that this connection may be from work, or those who have helped you in your career. That aside, there’s finances here so… You may be the type who’d save up for rainy days, or you’ll make sure you have enough before you leave whatever situation you’re in. To be able to achieve this, your main qualities would be determination and mental strength. There’s more to go but you have the foundation for this, and from what I’m seeing, you’re already on your way. You may want to try meditation or spiritual related themes, as well as doing a bunch of research on your friends and family. There may be a reason why people around you are acting Like That™, and you may also want to look into yourself if you play any factor.

6. Advice for you: Six of Pentacles, Ten of Wands rx, The Sun rx

Be generous to others, but turn that generosity towards yourself first. Spend money and pamper yourself when you need them. Remember, what goes around comes around, you provide help, and help will be provided to you. Put down those burdens people have been putting on your back. You have a tendency to carry the burdens and expectations of others, when all you need to focus right now is yourself. This is something that will… Challenge your core belief, I'd say. You need to focus on yourself, remember that you are the main character of your own story. At most, you can be the side character of another's story, but never their stepping stone. Once you learn your worth, accept it, and work on it, things will turn out different for you. Half of the cards here are sixes. This usually symbolises themes of success, satisfaction and rewards. Do what you need, and the rest will fall in place.

Overall energy: Temperance, Eight of Pentacles, The Hermit

I'm feeling some sort of balance from you. Things can be a mess, or even chaotic. But you actually know where to go and how to go about it, and you're sharpening your tools (skills) at the moment. What I'm feeling from this is that you're preserving your energy, ready to strike when it's needed, bringing a new form of rebirth. You have been receiving messages from your guides, you know they are having your back. Sure, new life can be birthed from old wounds, but you have no need to burn yourself to warm others, to find your worth in this painful form.

Pile 3 - Woods

A card to symbolise you: The Emperor rx

For some reason, it feels like you're the dejected king. You've done your best to do a lot of good, fight for what you believe in, and yet get shunned/ostracised by your own people. You still believe in what you stand and fight for, but part of you actually doubts if you're doing the right thing, or if there's something wrong with you. There are some questioning and contemplation, making your heart waver, wondering if you should leave this kingdom you're ruling over and go to some other place. The conflict is pretty… Strong in you at the moment, and it feels like you want to put the sceptre down.

1. How did you get here? Page of Swords rx

It's giving me the feeling/vibe that you've been listening to the wrong people, and there's active manipulation and deception in play. Whatever information that you've received/heard have been altered, and even tampered to a certain extent, trapping you in that perception. From there, it will be difficult for you to deconstruct incorrect information and to absorb new things in. What I'm also picking up is that you may have a tendency to go ahead and lead something, even if you're not familiar with the subject, which may be why you ended up being The Emperor rx. An example: Your cousin has told you that you have skills and talents in becoming a HR team leader, and so you applied for the job even if you have zero HR related skills and experience. With that, you're now leading your team and this is where you see problems come in, because you do not have sufficient tools and skills and experience. You can't quit this job because you've signed a contract, and if you quit, your team members will suffer as they will need to redo everything. Your ideals are nice, but you did not consider the limitations and challenges, ending up extremely unrealistic. With that, of course your team members will complain because you also have not taken their situation into consideration.

2. How do you get out of here? Death

There's a lot of changes that need to be made. Heck, you may need to go through a period of “death”, where you deconstruct your knowledge, what you have, what you pride yourself over; and form something new. It's like… A butterfly. Many people know that the caterpillar wraps itself in silk, and comes out of it as a butterfly. But not many know that the caterpillar literally dissolved into goo inside the cocoon. That sort of “death” is what you will need to go through. From there, you build yourself up with knowledge you've filtered, sourcing out resources carefully, being critical of what information you've gotten (or even whatever others are trying to feed you). Of course, throughout this time, you'll need to rebuild your trust in people, allowing yourself to heal from all sorts of betrayal.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

Sometimes, conflict isn't necessarily bad. You will need it (sometimes, fights and quarrels as well) to get your thoughts and opinions across, and also to understand the other person better as well. It is through conflict that you'll be able to see things that you've been missing out, especially if those “benefits” are things that are absolutely necessary to the other person. Your sense of justice is not applicable to those who are underprivileged, because they will be the first person who'll suffer from the changes. This conflict can also refer to the wolves inside of you, where you'll need to fight yourself, is your justice really justice if it harms the victims even more. There's more to find out by yourself, and this is a period of transition, where you'll move away from who/what no longer helps you, to things that will be of help and growth in the long run.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The World rx

Remind yourself that it's okay to fail, to be imperfect, and release whatever that is tying you down. Be kind to yourself and let go of self-criticism. This is something bound to happen, since growth is not linear. The world won't end if you make a mistake. But you need to make sure you're learning something from whatever you're doing. Awareness is something important, and you need to be conscious of your action, as well as what it will bring about. Make your actions purposeful, put meaning behind whatever you do or say. You're growing, and you're not doing it alone. You're growing with your friends, you're growing with the world. Do not try controlling the actions of others. You are your own world, and you should be nurturing it with intent.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Ace of Swords rx

You're smart. You're either book smart or street smart, or some other forms of smart that I do not know of. Which is why you actually know what it is that you have to help you go through this: By turning that Sword towards yourself. You don't like being told that you're wrong, and it's that pride of yours that will continue to push you forward. And most of all, you will not let yourself make the same mistakes again, allowing you to be sharper than before. Also, you may come up with a guide, describing how you've failed, and how you're making sure that others don't go through the same problems as you. You may end up a little pushy and long-winded, so please be aware of this.

6. Advice for you. King of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune rx

There are a couple of things that I'm picking up here. One of them is a warning, that you should not attempt any emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, or any of that sorts, consciously or unconsciously. You may be good with your words, and may have accidentally used them to “convince” someone to see your way, without you attempting to look at their side of the situation. Remember that whatever goes around, comes around. Morality is important, but morality without kindness is just… Inhumane. You also will need to remember to find your new strength, and how you want to proceed with your journey, may it be retiring being a King, or rebuilding your empire with the right people and right values. The cards aren't really willing to fall out, so I guess these are the main themes for you to pay attention to.

Overall energy: Strength, Six of Pentacles, The Star

There are quite some… Misdirected strength here. You are vigorous and ambitious, you have a lot of things that you want to do and to accomplish, but your actions aren't purposeful enough. You probably may feel like you're not seeing much results, and may be slightly dejected. Authorities may have a role in this. However, look at the bright side, you are doing something! Your generosity has helped many people throughout the way, providing faith and hope to those who are troubled. You may be spiritually guided too, so let your guides do their job and steer you towards the direction you're supposed to go.

Pile 4 - Crackle

A card to symbolise you: The Chariot rx

You’re rushing through a lot of things right now, worried that you can’t catch up with your peers. I’m seeing an image of you riding a horse, pushing yourself forward ruthlessly, ignoring your horse and everything else as you’re only focusing on your goals. Not sure if it’s your horse that will collapse or you falling over first. It is a very… anxious and bouncy energy that I’m feeling here. It’s also warning both you and I that things are going to be a havoc if you’re continuing this, as there’s this lack of balance, where you’re focusing too much on the external items (glory, society-defined success, external approval) instead of whatever that’s going on inside you (self-affirmation, emotional comfort, core belief).

1. How did you get here? The Hanged Man

I’m seeing that you’ve been forcing yourself to do things that you’re not good at. You probably have been called “inflexible” or “stuck in your own way” kinda person, and you’ve forced yourself to change, to see and attempt what other people do. However, it doesn’t work for you. You noticed that you’re not suitable for it, may be due to your upbringing or your brain has already been wired so. Yet you still push ahead with that thought and attempt, wanting to fit in with the rest (and society) so that you do not feel like an outcast. You have received a lot of help throughout this journey, but as the level of difficulty increases, you are running out of helpline and tools to fit in with the rest. This is where you’re starting to feel the burnout and the sense of failure is starting to eat in.

2. How do you get out of here? Eight of Pentacles

Instead of finding ways to fit into societal norms, it would be much better if you focus on what you’re good at and work on it instead. Diligence and hard work are the foundation of success. This is a rather positive card, but you need to make sure that you’re putting in hard work in the right place. You need to first recognise the difference between What You Like and What You’re Good At. From there, you will then need to make the decision on which path you want to take, and how you can expand your skills, and how you can make use of the tools you have to help you out of this slump. Having dreams is great, but you need to equip yourself with the tools to make your dreams a reality. Sometimes, things can turn out to be not… Ideal. You may realise that what you like is not what you’re good at, and it can be rather disappointing, especially if you’re the type of person who wants to do something you like for a living. But then, you can continue to do the things that you like while you also focus on the things that you’re good at. Nothing is stopping you, as long as you know how to balance your time and energy.

3. What can you learn from this? Five of Wands

For some reason, I’m seeing conflict coming from not only within yourself, but also between you and your close friends. Conflicts and arguments often happen when there’s miscommunication, where each party believes themself to be at the right. It is also important to know that one learns better through these kinda fights, where you can take this opportunity to understand what the other person is thinking and expecting, and to see if you are capable of fulfilling that expectation. Every fight is a learning process, where you learn some parts of you that you are not aware of. From there, you make the necessary changes to make yourself into a better person. Now, just a reminder. If you’re incapable of a particular change, do not attempt to change yourself for it. Else, you’ll go through this same process of falling into this same slump, and this cycle will never end. It’s like saying that I can’t fit in the rest of the group because I’m wearing glasses and they don’t. If I don’t get my eyesight fixed, I can’t join their group. Am I gonna get a laser treatment for this? Nope. And it’s alright if I change my friend group because I am unable to adhere to their expectations. The same goes with neurodivergence and neurotypicals as well.

4. What should you do if this happens again? The Fool

Take it as a new form of journey if this happens again, where you travel, meet new people and learn more. You can rest if things get too overwhelming, but you need to remind yourself to get up again and continue your journey. Life’s a constant learning process, where you recognise your changes, and you come up with new coping methods to work with it, especially as you age. For example, your eyesight worsens with age, and you’ll need to change your glasses so that you’re able to function and work as normal. It is the same with life and slumps, where you find out the problems and work accordingly.

5. What are the qualities you need to have to go through this? Judgement

First thing I’m picking up is that you’re very critical of whatever that’s happening within yourself. You may not turn that judging side of yours outwards, where you focus on criticising yourself more. You tend to intentionally make yourself uncomfortable by putting all the blame on yourself, and this is where you need to work on. Instead of putting all the blame on your shoulders, you may try putting them on others if it’s their fault. The more faults you take up, the more you’ll be used. Let others take the responsibility of their actions, let them be uncomfortable with the consequences. You need to remember who you are, and even if you’re judged, let it be because of your own actions, and not of others. Free yourself from what is not yours, may it be glory or sin.

6. Advice for you. - Temperance rx, Nine of Cups rx, Wheel of Fortune

It’s pretty evident with the cards that are presented, where you need to balance yourself, inside and out. Short term gratification (the sense of belonging) is not gonna help you in the long run, especially if it eats into you and makes you question your identity, purpose, and sense of self. There’s a lot of thinking that you need to do, and you can start by writing things down and weighing the options. You may feel that life’s playing a prank on you, or messing you up by throwing these challenges at you. This is something you need to go through though, as it is your life lesson. You may think that this lesson is not something you signed up for (a lot of us think the same), but your higher self had other plans in mind. It’s giving me the feeling that you have not picked up on themes on self identity and core beliefs in your past lives, that’s why you’re going through a bunch of it in this lifetime. Instead of rejecting and skipping class, why not sit through it and pick up bits and pieces to focus.

Overall energy: The Lovers, Ace of Wands

I'm feeling some form of weight on my chest. It’s like you’re burdened with the choices offered to you, either A or B. You are not the type of person who’d prefer to make your pick, probably it’s because you are afraid of dealing with the outcome of your decisions. There’s fear here, but there’s also nervousness, as you’re starting a new chapter of something. Ace of Wands is the first card of the Minor Arcana, which talks about how you’re drafting your life. It would be great if you start the chapter in details of your healing process, including yourself surrendering the old and limiting beliefs that have been tying you down, allowing you to awaken and be reborn into limitless possibilities.

#tuliptic #🌷#pick a card #pick a pile #pick a picture #tarot reading #general tarot reading #self related reading #i have finally completed this #time to rest a while as i plan for the next one #which is also planned #i really do hope i get the energy to do readings again #and i have to do proofreading later #anyways hopefully you guys had fun with this #cheers #just to add on that this song is from #stray kids #skz #yes i love this song

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dianawinchester03 · 2 months ago

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Season 2, Episode 22 - All Hell Breaks Loose: Part 2

Series Masterlist

Author’s Note: Hi beauties! Quick disclaimer, a lot of the scenes in this episode have songs that inspired it. Soooo, I’ll interrupt for a few seconds every now and then to tell you. Thank you for reading!

The first song inspo is Let The World Burn by Chris Grey:)

____________________________________________

Third Person POV

Y/N’s cold lifeless body laid on the old mattress, her head lolled to the side, her features relaxed. Dean leaned on the door framed, a distant and heartbroken expression coated his face as Sam and Jo sat by the bedside. Sam was still in hysterics, the guilt of her death weighing on his chest.

Losing Y/N was one thing, but losing her to a knife that was meant for him. It was heart wrenching for Sam Winchester. He remembered the day she came to him about the dream she had and he told her not to worry about it. They summed it up to the stress of the job. God he felt stupid.

Jo was trying to console a guilt and grief-laden Sam, but she wasn’t far behind. First losing Ash, not having any idea where her mom could be since they didn’t find her body in the rubble and now losing Y/N right in front of their eyes?

Dean was quiet, standing with his arms crossed against the door frame. He felt numb. He couldn't even bring himself to cry. The pain was too intense, too overwhelming. He just stood there in silence, watching as Sam and Jo tried to comfort each other.

‘I shouldn't have fallen in love’

‘Look what it made me become’

‘I let you get too close’

Sam's tears kept falling as he sat next to Y/N. He couldn't bear the weight of the guilt and the grief. He felt responsible for her death, like he should have done something, anything to stop it.

Dean couldn't bear to look at her lifeless body anymore. He had to look away, the sight of her cold, pale skin was too much for him to bear. He stood silently outside the door, watching as Sam and Jo sat by her bedside.

Dean knew that Sam was going through guilt, he could see it in his brother's face. But Dean couldn't bring himself to offer any comfort. He was too lost in his own guilt and grief to even think of comforting his brother.

“Kids?” Bobby’s voice echoed through the house as the door opened. None of them answered, Jo just continued to rub Sam’s back as his sobs lessened, wiping away her own tears. “I brought you this back,” Bobby told them, holding up two bags with food boxes.

“No, thanks, I’m fine” Dean muttered in a deadpan tone. “Y’all should eat something,” Bobby insisted. Jo and Sam didn't respond either, they all just sat in silence, lost in their own thoughts. Sam’s sobs reduced to soft sniffles as Jo comforted him, her own tears continuing to fall silently.

Dean clenched his jaw, keeping his gaze on the ground. “We’re fine, Bobby,” Jo assured him softly. Dean padded over to the table, picking up the whiskey before taking a large swig of it. They were out of earshot from Sam and Jo. Bobby watched as Dean downed the whiskey, his eyes fixed on the younger man's face.

He could sense the pain and grief etched on his features. He knew Dean was struggling, dealing with the loss of Y/N in his own way. Bobby looked at him, his expression sympathetic. He could tell that Dean was hurting. It was painfully obvious how much he loved her. "Dean..." Bobby began, his voice gentle yet firm.

“I hate to bring this up. I really do. But don’t you think maybe it’s time…we bury Y/N” Bobby said quietly. Dean's head slowly moved up, his eyes burning with anger and pain, but at the same time, we looked dead in the eyes. "No," he huffed. "Absolutely not." His hand tightened on the bottle of whisky, resisting the urge to throw it against the wall.

Bobby's eyes narrowed, understanding the grief and anger that drove Dean's response. “Dean, you can’t keep her here forever,” he said firmly, his voice gentle but steady.

The room fell silent as the weight of Bobby's words hung in the air. It was a harsh reality, one that Dean didn't want to face. Sam heard a murmur of their conversation, telling Jo he’ll be right back before placing a kiss on her hand and stepping out of the room.

“Bobby’s right, Dean” Sam sniffled, his eyes puffy and red. Dean clenched his jaw tighter. He knew Sam and Bobby were right, but he couldn't bring himself to let go. The thought of burying Y/N, saying goodbye forever, was unbearable. "I'm not burying her," he growled, his knuckles turning white from his tight grip on the whisky bottle. "Not happening."

Jo stepped out of the room, “Well maybe we can-” She started to suggest, her voice groggy. “What? Torch her corpse?” Dean snapped, sitting on one of the old chairs before taking another swig of the whiskey. Sam and Jo were taken aback by Dean's harsh tone. They understood that he was grieving, but his words were like a punch to the gut.

“That’s not what she would want, Dean,” Jo said quietly, her voice shaking slightly. Dean let out a bitter laugh. “You think you know what she would want? You think anyone knows what she would want?” He stood up from the chair, pacing around the room like a caged animal.

Jo gritted her teeth, “She was my friend too!” She shouted back, pointing to herself, her voice cracking. “No, she was family!” Dean retorted loudly, his voice echoing through the room. "She wasn't just some friend! She was my.." His throat felt like it was closing up, his voice stuck. He couldn't say the word.

Tears welled up in his eyes, despite his best efforts to hold them back. He clenched his fists, hating that he was showing weakness. Dean turned away from Sam and Jo, unable to look at their sympathetic expressions any longer. “She had a vision” Sam muttered as he leaned against the table.

Sam's words made Dean stop pacing, his head snapping towards him. "What did you say?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. Sam took in a shaky breath, "She had a vision, well- a dream. She- she saw me get killed months ago. We talked about it and we decided it was a dream because it wasn’t clear and we were all stressed. I think she had the same vision last night….before she..." Sam’s words got caught in his throat.

Dean’s heart dropped, the realization hitting him like a ton of bricks. He clenched his jaw, his mind racing as he tried to make sense of it all. Sam was right. Y/N had a vision and she sacrificed herself for him. “She took the hit for me” Sam chuckled dryly, his heart aching in his chest.

Dean's eyes softened, a mix of guilt and sadness overcoming him. He knew that Sam was beating himself up for Y/N taking the fall for him. The weight of the guilt seemed to be crushing Sam.

"It’s not your fault" Dean said quietly, his voice thick with raw emotion. He didn’t want Sam to blame himself for this. He knew Y/N would never want that. Dean thought for a moment before fishing his keys out of his pocket, tossing it over to Jo.

Jo caught the keys in her hand, looking at him with a puzzled expression. "What are these for?" she asked, her voice shaking slightly. Dean didn’t look at her, his eyes still focused on the ground. "Take Baby. Just go” Dean said firmly. He had made up his mind on what he wanted to do.

"Where are you going?" Bobby asked, his eyes narrowing. He knew that look in Dean's eyes. He knew that whatever idea that was forming in his head was dangerous and ill-considered. “Nowhere. Sam, Jo. Go.” He gritted his teeth, pointing at the door.

"We’re not going anywhere without you," Bobby stepped in firmly, his arms crossed over his chest. “Would you guys cut me some slack?!” Dean bursted out in rage. “We just don’t think you should be alone, that’s all” Bobby shot back. Dean glared at him, shooting Sam a warning look that said, ‘Go, now. I’m serious’

‘Fear in their eyes’

‘Ash raining from the blood orange sky’

‘I let everybody know that you're mine’

‘Now it's just a matter of time’

Sam understood the look Dean gave him. He sighed, his shoulders sagged in defeat. He knew how stubborn his brother could be. He gave Jo a pleading look, silently communicating to her. Jo’s expression was conflicted, she wanted to stay, to fight for Dean, but she also knew that there were some battles that Dean needed to fight alone.

Jo nodded obediently, sighing heavily. She stuffed Dean’s keys into her pocket, taking Sam’s hand into hers to lead him back to the room where Y/N’s body laid. She wanted to say one last goodbye.

Sam and Jo walked silently back to the room where y/n’s body lay on the bed. Sam's expression was one of despair as they approached the bed. He looked down at her lifeless form, the weight of his guilt pressing heavily on his chest.

Jo laid a gentle hand on his shoulder, giving him a sad smile. "Say your goodbye" she whispered softly. Sam nodded, taking a deep breath. He took a step closer to the bed, his eyes filled with tears. He laid a trembling hand on Y/N's cold cheek, his heart aching in his chest.

"I’m sorry," he whispered, his voice shaky. "You didn’t deserve this. I should have listened to your dream, and I’m so sorry." He bent down, pressing a gentle kiss to her forehead. Jo stood silently at the bedside, her own tears streaming down her face.

She watched as Sam said his goodbyes, the pain of the moment palpable in the room. As Sam stepped back, Jo stepped forward, laying a hand on Y/N's cold arm. "I’ll miss you, slut" she whispered, a sad smile on her face. "You were a hell of a woman."

She leaned down, tenderly kissing Y/N’s forehead as Sam had done before. “Tell mom and Ash hi for me. Thanks for letting me know what it’s like to have a sister” Jo’s voice broke. She had lost all hope of her mom being alive, and it tore her apart. It took God power for the huntress to keep it together.

Jo opted for Sam to walk out first, placing her hand at the small of his back. Sam glanced over his shoulder at the dingy old bed where she laid one last time, “See you on the flip side, crackhead” and with that they left Y/N behind, her cold lifeless body motionless on the bed.

After Jo and Sam left, Dean was still sitting on the chair. His eyes shooting straight at the bed Y/N was on. Bobby was still with him, “Dean..” Dean's eyes didn't leave the bed. He clenched his fists, his jaw tightening. The silence in the room was deafening. He knew that Bobby was trying to talk to him, trying to make him see reason, but he didn’t want to hear it.

“I gotta admit. I could use your help” Bobby confessed. Dean scoffed, rolling his eyes as he took a swig of his whiskey again. “Something big is going down. End of the world big” Bobby pressed. “Well, THEN LET IT END!!l Dean bellowed, his head snapping up to face Bobby.

‘I'd let the world burn’

‘Let the world burn for you’

‘This is how it always had to end’

‘If I can't have you then no one can’

‘I'd let it burn’

‘I'd let the world burn’

‘Just to hear you calling out my name’

‘Watching it all go down in flames’

Bobby's eyes widened in surprise at Dean's outburst, but he quickly recovered, his expression turning stern again. "You don’t mean that," he gasped. Dean's jaw ticked, his grip on the bottle of whiskey tightening. He pushed himself up from the chair in an instant, going toe to toe with the veteran hunter.

“You don’t think so? Huh? You don’t think I’ve given enough?….You don’t think I’ve paid enough?” With his last statement, he nodded his head towards the bed Y/N laid on. Bobby's face softened as he saw the pain and anger etched on Dean’s face. He knew that he wasn’t just talking about the apocalypse, but also about Y/N.

“I’m done with it. All of it. Now, if you know what’s good for you, turn around and get the hell out of here” Dean’s breathing was heavy, his chest heaving with anger. He was done with all the fighting, the pain, the loss. He just wanted it to end, one way or another. Bobby stood his ground, not backing away. So Dean shoved the elder Hunter harshly, “GO!!!”

Bobby stumbled a bit, taken aback by Dean’s sudden aggression. Heartbreak was written all over Bobby’s face, Dean instantly felt guilty. At the back of his mind, he could feel the ghost of a tap at the back of his head that Y/N would give him for his actions just a few seconds ago.

“I’m sorry” Dean apologized but he didn’t take his words back. He was too angry, too distraught. He didn’t want to feel anything anymore, he wanted to be left alone. Bobby stayed quiet, unsure of what to do or say further. His head spun as he took up the bottle again,

“I’m sorry” Dean’s tone dropped, coming out almost like a whimper. “Please just go” He begged as he gripped the chair for balance. Bobby watched for a moment, his heart aching. He knew that Dean was hurting, that he was struggling to process what happened. But he also knew that Dean was in a dark place and that being alone was not the best thing for him.

But Bobby also knew that pushing him would only make things worse. So, with a heavy heart, he turned and walked towards the door, casting one last glance back at Dean, “You know where I’ll be, son.” before stepping out into the night.

Dean's shoulders sagged as soon as the door shut behind Bobby. The room fell into an uncomfortable silence, only the sound of his ragged breathing could be heard. He squeezed his eyes shut, trying to shut out the reality of what was happening around him. Y/N was dead.

He opened his eyes again and looked at the bed again, her lifeless body laid on it. A single tear falling from his eye.

A few hours had passed and it was nearing midnight. Dean had almost finished the bottle, checking the time on his watch every few minutes. Getting lost in his own thoughts.

11:54 pm.

He hadn’t taken his eyes off of the bed, his chair now sat in front of Y/N’s side. “You know, when we were little…you and Sam couldn’t have been more than 5…you guys just started asking questions.” A small sad smile broke out on Dean’s face, “How come we didn’t have a mom? How come you didn’t have a mom? We did we always have to move around from safehouse to motel. Where’d our dads go?…They’d take off for days at a time, I remember I begged you”

He took a huge gulp of whiskey, letting the liquid slide down his throat. The burning sensation barely registered as he struggled to keep talking. “Quit asking, princess. Stop talking about it, Sammy. Man, you don’t wanna know” Dean scoffed as he repeated his words as a child to them.

“I just wanted you to be kids. Just for a little while longer. But you weren’t stupid. You had to grow up at such a young age, you never said no when it came to standing up for Sammy in school. Hell- you never said no when it came to kicking our asses in sparring practice” Dean chuckled dryly.

“I remember when F/N hauled my ass from across the country, going batshit crazy looking for you when you ran away. I led the man on a wild goose chase for months” Dean shook his head, “When he finally realized, he told me, ‘I know you’ve been running me around son. And while I don’t appreciate it, I know you’re just doing it because you love and care about my baby.’” Dean repeated F/N’s words to him.

“I was honestly surprised those words came out of the man’s mouth. I was half expecting him to clock me a few until I spilled the beans.” Dean chuckled dryly as he sniffled. “And you…” Dean’s voice cracked, his heart clenching in his chest. He took another gulp of whiskey, trying to drown the lump in his throat.

“You were always there, ever since we were little. Always watching out for us. Saving me from getting my ass kicked by dad and f/n. Keeping Sammy safe. That time you made me clean a whole damn motel floor when I was 16 because I called you something you didn’t like.” He let out a shaky exhale as he remembered the memory. His mind then went back to the night F/N died, a guilt raising in his chest.

“The night your dad died, I yelled and went off on him for not being there when you were electrocuted. And then he ended up getting killed…..it’s been on me ever since because you’ve been so hurt and distant since your dad died…..and you blame yourself meanwhile I’m the one that screamed at him…..I practically put that machete in the vampires hand because it was Sam’s machete she picked up and killed f/n with…..the same one I put down when Luther had his hand around your neck.” Dean choked on his own breath as he confessed to her corpse.

His eyes stung with tears as he continued, guilt and shame filling his heart. He reached out a shaky hand, gently brushing a strand of hair away from her face.

“I know you wouldn’t blame me,” he whispered, his voice quivered. “You never blamed me for anything, even when you had every right too. That’s just how you were.” A tear rolled down his cheek, his hand cupped her cheek.

“I always tried to protect you two. Keep y’all safe. Dad and F/N didn’t even have to tell me. It was just always my responsibility, you know? It’s like I had one job…that one job. And I fucked it up. In the end, you were the one protecting us.” His voice broke and he leaned forward, pressing his hands to the bed. Tears welled up in Dean’s eyes.

“I blew it. And for that I’m sorry.” Dean brought his hand up to wipe his tears away. “I guess that’s what I do. I let down the people I love. I let Dad down. I let F/N down. I let Sammy down. And now, I guess I’m just supposed to let you down too….how can I? How am I supposed to live with that?”

He buried his face in his free hand, the other still cradling her cheek as he sobbed silently. The weight of his failures pressed heavily on his shoulders, the guilt and regret were almost unbearable. He felt like he was drowning, lost in his own torment. “I’m sorry, baby,” he repeated again and again, his voice barely above a whisper. “I’m so damn sorry.”

He stayed like that for a few more minutes, crying silently as he held onto her. The alcohol in him didn’t help, it only made his tears flow more freely. He felt like the lowest scum known to man, and he couldn’t stop blaming himself for everything that happened.

He wanted to scream, to punch something, to do anything to make the pain go away. But he just sat there, his shoulders shaking with the force of his sobs.

“What am I supposed to do?” left his lips in a mournful whisper. “WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO?!” He exploded, aiming the bottle of whiskey at the wall. The bottle shattered into pieces, the liquid staining the surface of the wall as it dripped down. It felt good to release some of his anger, but it didn’t fix anything.

He looked back at her, his chest heaving. But there was no comfort in her sight anymore. She was just so goddamn still. She wasn’t supposed to be this still. Not Y/N. She was always full of energy, always laughing and joking.

Dean checked the time on his watch one last time.

12:02 am

His heart shattered, he slowly padded over to the dirty old mattress before taking the golden heart-shaped locket resting on the base of her chest into his fingers, prying it open. The locket opened in his hand, revealing two photos inside. One side held F/N, M/N, John and Mary in their younger days, all standing in-front of Dean’s childhood home in Lawrence.

The other was a picture of the trio as teens, right before Sam left for college. All in their hunting gear, leaning against the Impala, a big smirk on her face and an arm slung around his shoulders, his arm wrapped around her waist, a rare smile on his face. Sam wore a giant grin himself, mainly because Y/N threatened to put Nair in his shampoo again if he didn’t smile for the picture.

His heart sank as he looked at the photos, his fingers trembling as they traced over them. He gently pressed the locket to his forehead, his eyes closing as the memories flooded through him. He could practically hear her laughter in the air, see the sparkle in her eyes as she teased him.

“Happy Birthday, princess,” he whispered. The words choked up in his throat, his hand clutched the locket tightly in his hand.

Author's Note: For more effect, listen to Don’t Blame Me by Taylor Swift when reading this;)

The Harley’s engine roared to life, the sound filled the empty town as Dean snapped on Y/N’s helmet and peeled out from where Jo had parked her. He vaguely remembered passing a crossroads on their way here, he had his mind made up earlier, but he was for certain now.

The cold night air hit his face as the Harley zoomed down the empty roads. His grip on the handle tightened, his mind set on what he was going to do.

‘Something happened for the first time, in’

‘The darkest little paradise’

‘Shakin, pacin', I just need you’

Soon the crossroads came into view and he made the bike halt to a stop, the gravel crunching beneath his boots as he stepped off. He then hurriedly dug into Y/N’s hatchback, taking out all the means necessary to summon a crossroad’s demon.

Luckily, since Y/N was getting more in tune with her psychic side. She had the materials on hand. Unknowing that Dean was gonna do this. He walked over to the middle of the intersection and looked around, the place was still and eerily quiet.

He then knelt down onto the ground, his heart was hammering anxiously in his chest the entire time he worked. The thought of seeing Y/N again pushed him to continue.

‘For you, I would cross the line’

‘I would waste my time’

‘I would lose my mind’

He began to dig into the ground with his hands, stuffing the box in once the hole was big enough before covering it back up with the dirt. Dean stood back up, impatiently waiting as his head swung around in all directions. “All right then, you sons of bitches,” he muttered, his voice wavering. “I know you can hear me.”

“Oh come on already” He muttered, “SHOW YOUR FACE YOU BITCH!!” He bellowed. “Easy, sugar, you’ll wake the neighbors” The sultry voice of a woman said behind him. He whirled around to face the owner of the voice. Sure enough, a figure was standing a few feet behind him. A tall, slender and busty woman with sharp features and a wide smile.

Her eyes flashed red before reverting back to its original brown color. “Dean” The demon smiled widely. “It is so, so good to see you” She smirked, stepping closer to the elder Winchester. “I mean it. Look at you. Gone and got your little girlfriend killed. All alone in the world. Your brother probably hates your guts and wants nothing to do with you…it’s too sweet” The demon verbally tormented him.

He clenched his jaw, the demon’s words stung like a thousand needles. It felt like she was rubbing salt in his open wound and enjoying every second of it. But he wasn’t gonna let her get to him.

She leaned in to whisper in his ear as she circled around him. “Excuse me, you’re gonna have to give me a moment. Sometimes you gotta stop and smell the roses” The demon giggled. “I should send you straight back to hell” Dean growled as he turned his head to face her.

“Oh, you should. But you won’t” The demon pointed out, her tone low and lustful. Dean grimaced in disgust, hating the fact that she was right. “And I know why,” She added, walking around him. “Oh, yeah?” Dean challenged, turning to face her again. “Yeah. Following in daddy’s footsteps. You wanna make a deal” The demon called him out.

He gritted his teeth, his body tensing up as the demon’s words hit all the right chords. The mention of John still stung and left a bitter taste in his mouth.

“Little Y/N/N, back from the dead. And, let me guess, you’re offering up your own soul” She smirked, the sarcasm dripping from her tone. “There are a hundred other demons who’d love to get their hands on it” Dean shot back. The demon chuckled, rolling her eyes. “And it’s all yours. All you gotta do is bring Y/N back. You give me 10 years. Ten years and then you come for me” He knew that he was desperate and the demon knew it too.

“You must be joking” The demon scoffed. “It’s the same deal you give everybody else” Dean snapped, swallowing the lump in his throat. The demon simply tilted her head to the side, raising an eyebrow as if she was looking at something particularly amusing.

“You’re not everybody else” she shot back, stepping closer to whisper in his ear. “Why would I wanna give you anything?” Her breath fanned on the shell of his ear and down his neck. Dean exhaled, trying to keep his temper in check, “Keep your gutter soul, it’s too tarnished anyway” She added with disgust.

Dean clenched his fists, the anger in him was starting to boil up. The thought of seeing Y/N again, of seeing her beautiful eyes or smile again was tearing him apart. He gritted his teeth, taking deep breaths to keep his anger in check “Nine years” he offered.

“No” The demon denied, stepping back. “Eight” Dean shot back. “You keep going, I’ll keep saying no” The demon chuckled sadistically. Frustration was slowly building up in him, he knew this wasn’t going to be easy or pleasant. “Okay, five years. Five years, then my bill comes due. That’s my last offer. Five years or no deal” Dean persisted, his jaw tensing.

The demon smiled, her eyes flashing red for a second. She leaned in as if she was about to kiss him but whispered against his lips, “Then no deal” His heart sank, his final hope being cut short by the demon’s words. He felt a mixture of anger and despair wash over him. Without Y/N, he felt lost, empty, alone. He tried to push down the wave of emotions that threatened to overwhelm him.

“Fine” He whispered, his voice steady despite the turmoil inside him. “Fine” The demon smirked, pulling away before moving around him to walk away. “Make sure you bury Y/N before she starts stinking up the joint” She cackled as she walked away.

The demon’s words stung like a dagger through his heart. Her words were cruel, heartless and aimed to hurt. And they did. But he pushed back the pain, forcing himself to hold it together. “Wait!” he called out to her.

The demon paused in her tracks and turned her head to look at him. “It’s a fire sale and everything must go” She said mockingly. “What do I have to do?” Dean asked, the desperation clear in his tone. The demon rolled her eyes, “First of all, quit groveling. Needy guys are such a turn off.” She snorted, walking back to face him. “Look. Look, I shouldn’t be doing this. I could get in a lot of trouble” She sighed.

“But what can I say? I got a blind spot for you, Dean.” She inhaled through her teeth. “You’re like a puppy, you’re just too fun to play with” The demon sighed deeply, studying Dean’s face. “I’ll do it” She caved. “You’ll bring her back?” Dean gaped. “I will. And because I’m such a saint. I’ll give you one year and only one year” She nodded.

Relief washed over him like a tidal wave. Hearing the demon agree to bring Y/N back lifted a huge weight off his chest. But then the realization of what he had just agreed to sink in. One year. He was essentially handing over his soul to a demon in exchange for Y/N’s life. But he had no choice. He would do anything to get her back.

“But here’s the thing. If you try to welch or weasel your way out, then the deal is off. Y/N drops dead, she’s back to rotten meat in no time. And I’ll take Sammy too, just for good measure” The demon threatened, Dean gulped at her promise. “So, it’s a better deal than your dad ever got. What do you say?” She smirked.

‘Oh Lord, save me, my drug is my baby’

‘I'll be usin' for the rest of my life’

‘Usin' for the rest of my life, ohh-oh’

He exhaled, knowing that he didn’t have a choice. He can’t leave Y/N dead, and not at the cost of Sam’s life too. Even if it would damn his own soul. So with that he snatched the demon roughly from behind her neck, pressing his lips to hers to seal the deal.

‘Don't blame me, love made me crazy’

‘If it doesn't, you ain't doin' it right (doin' it right, no)’

‘Lord, save me, my drug is my baby’

‘I'll be usin' for the rest of my life (oh)’

The demon was surprised at first but she quickly pressed herself against him, kissing him back with fervor. It was deep, hungry, and full of desperation on the demon’s side. The deal was completed, sealed with a kiss.

Authors Note: This next scene’s song inspo is Reflections by The Neighborhood (mainly just one line lol)

‘Where have you been?’

‘Do you know when you're coming back?’

Back in the old house, Y/N’s eyes shot open, gasping awake from her ‘deathly nap’. With a grunt she sat up, her eyes searching frantically in the dark room. Her chest heaved as she struggled to catch her breath. The last thing she remembered was telling the boys how much she loved them and everything went black.

She looked around her, disoriented and confused. Where the hell was she? She knew she had gotten stabbed, right in her back, literally. She realized she still had her leather jacket on and quickly peeled it off.

She winced as she tugged on the clothes, trying to not to irritate any possible injury on her back. Once she removed her jacket, she pushed herself off of the dirty old bed and padded over to the mirror on the wall. She then pulled her shirt up to observe the area where she was stabbed.

Her skin was no longer wounded but smooth and unmarred. Her finger traced where her anti possession tattoo layed. Her eyes widened in disbelief as she ran her fingers over the spot where the knife had pierced her. There was nothing. No scratch, no cut, not even a scar. Nothing but a red mark that seemed to be forming into a giant bruise.

The sound of the door opening made her ears perk up. Y/N slowly let her shirt fall back down to cover her stomach as the door was pushed open. She turned to see who was standing in the doorway.

‘We were too close to the stars’

‘I never knew somebody like you, somebody’

Her heart skipped several beats as she saw him standing in the doorway. The deep emerald orbs held a mix of disbelief and relief that mirrored her own. “Y/N/N?” Dean gasped, relief filling his body at the fact that the demon kept her end of the bargain. “Hey” Y/N breathed out, still confused. “Thank God” Dean was close to tears again as he rushed over to her.

He wasted no time in pulling her into his arms, crushing her against his chest. It was as if he was trying to convince himself that she was real, that she was okay. He buried his face into her hair, inhaling her scent as he held her tightly.

‘Falling just as hard’

‘I'd rather lose somebody than use somebody’

She was bewildered by his display of affection, but she didn’t resist. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, holding him just as tightly. Her eyes fluttered shut as she melted into his embrace. She could feel the tension and worry emanating from him like a wave.

Dean pulled away to look at her clearly, cupping her cheek in his hand. He couldn’t stop him from what he was about to do. Dean leaned down and kissed her forehead, then her cheek, then her nose. “Thank god…thank god” Dean muttered as he peppered kisses all over her face.

‘Maybe it's a blessing in disguise (I sold my soul for you)’

‘I see my reflection in your eyes’

He was almost desperately clinging on to her like he was afraid that she would slip right out of his arms. Y/N now utterly taken back. Her heart was pounding in her chest as Dean showered her with kisses. The way he looked at her, held her, it was as if he thought he'd never get to touch her again.

She melted into his embrace again, relishing the feeling of his lips against her skin. It was tender and gentle, full of a love and longing she hadn't seen from him before. A feeling she had been dying to witness.

“Uh, Dean-” Y/N chuckled, groaning a bit from the pain in her back. Dean stopped when he heard her grumble in pain. “Sorry, I’m sorry, sweetheart. I’m just- I’m just happy to see you up and around, that’s all” He apologized, smiling. She chuckled again, nodding, wincing as she felt the pain in her back flare up.

“Come on, sit down” Dean ushered her back to the bed, helping her sit down. “Okay.” she breathed out, “Dean, what happened to me?” Y/N asked, groaning as Dean sat next to her. “Well, what do you remember?” Dean asked, now having to choose his words carefully.

She closed her eyes, trying to remember the last thing that happened to her. It was all a bit hazy and her head throbbed as she tried to focus.

“I remember…I had a vision of Sam getting stabbed. And I pushed him out of the way. Then- then I told you boys how much I loved you…and um…” She said slowly, deciding to choose her words carefully. “Then I felt this pain. This sharp pain, like white hot, you know? It hurt like hell and then…darkness”

Dean nodded as he listened to her recalling the events of last night. “Yeah, that- that kid went to stab Sam in his back. But you took the hit, you lost a lot of blood. You know, it was pretty touch and go for a while” he lied, his heart tightening at the thought of what happened. He reached out and placed his hand on her leg, giving it a comforting squeeze.

Y/N’s brows furrowed, “Charming, you can’t patch up a wound that bad. I mean, I thought I was a goner” She pointed out. “No, Bobby could. And Jo used that witchy spell book you have hidden in your hatchback, grinded up some herbs and bam” Dean lied again, hoping she took the bait.

Y/N looked at him skeptically for a moment but nodded again. She wasn’t sure if she believed everything he said because she never thought Jo the spell for the healing balm she had been working on concocting but she had no reason to doubt him. Plus her head hurt enough, she didn’t feel like questioning everything he was saying.

“Who was that kid anyway?” Dean asked, changing the subject. “His names Jake” Y/N frowned. “Did you get him?” She asked. “No. He disappeared into the woods” Dean told her, “We gotta find him, Dean” Y/N’s blood began boiling as she thought of Jake. “And I swear, I’m gonna tear that son of a bitch apart” She snarled as she tried to get up.

Dean quickly grabbed her shoulders, gently pushing her back down to sit. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy Van Damme” He scolded her, raising a brow. “You just woke up. Let’s get you something to eat, alright? Huh? You want something to eat?” Despite the pain in her back, Y/N’s stomach growled loudly at the mention of food.

As if reacting on cue, she nodded, not allowing her eyes to meet his. Dean smiled, “I’m starving” Y/N chuckled at his words as he offered her his hand. She took his hand, her slender fingers wrapping around his much larger ones as she stood up. “Can we get a cookie?” She asked him, grinning widely as she flashed him her signature puppy dog eyes.

Despite the intensity of the situation, Dean cracked a smile at her request. “We can get you all the cookies you want, princess” he quipped, chuckling at the way she looked up at him with her pleading eyes.

Y/N was giving Dean the rundown of the event from the previous night. “And that’s when you guys showed up” Y/N said with a mouth stuffed with cookies, a mostly empty pizza box laid out on the grass in an empty park where they sat, enjoying their food.

Dean nodded as he listened to her retelling the story, his arms resting on his bent knees as he sat on the grass next to her. He had a slice of pizza in his hands, his eyes fixed on her as she spoke, his heart aching in his chest at what she and Sam had gone through.

“That’s awful. Poor Andy” Dean muttered. “Demon said he only wanted one of us to walk out alive.” Y/N told him, sipping her soda. “He told you that?” Dean asked, biting into his pizza. “Yup” Y/N nodded, “Appeared in a dream” She scoffed, “He tell you anything else?” Dean asked.

Her mind went back to when the demon revealed to her that she and Sam had demon blood in them. But she couldn’t tell Dean that. The dude already mocked her for being psychic relentlessly, she didn’t want him to see her as even more of a freak. As much as the mockery was playful, the thought of him seeing her as a freak was heartbreaking for her.

“No. No, that was it, nothing else” Y/N quickly shook her head in response. Dean nodded again, his eyes scanning her face. Part of him was suspicious. He could tell she was lying, her eyes avoided his gaze for a moment and she responded a little too quickly. But he chose not to press on it.

“You know, what I don’t get, is that if the demon only wanted one of us…how did Jake, Sam and I all get away?” Y/N thought out loud, changing the subject as she picked up one of the garlic knots from the smaller box, biting into it.

Dean’s breath hitched in his throat as Y/N chewed on the garlic knot and furrowed her brows as if it was a mystery, all the while internally trying to come up with a response. “Well, I mean, they left you and Sam for dead. I’m sure they thought it was over” Dean shrugged, clearing his throat before taking a large nervous bite of his pizza.

Y/N nodded again, not buying Dean’s explanation. She could tell he was hiding something from her, just like she was hiding something from him. The thought made her uneasy, but she decided not to push on it.

“Now that Yellow-Eyes has Jake, what’s he gonna do with him?” Dean asked Y/N through a mouth full of cheese. The psychic rolled her eyes before taking up a napkin to wipe the sauce that was dripping down the side of his mouth.

The action comes off natural and almost familiar. Her fingers lingering on his chin for a split second.

“I don’t know,” she grumbled, wiping a smudge of sauce from his lip with her thumb before tossing the dirty napkin into the empty pizza box. “But whatever it is, we gotta stop it.” She was determined.

Dean raised a brow as he watched her wipe the sauce from his mouth, her touch setting off butterflies in his stomach. “Alright, hold on, you need to get your rest” Dean interrupted her, “We got time” He assured her. “No, we don’t” Y/N scuffed stubbornly, pushing herself to her feet. She began to gather up the garbage from the ground, Dean pushed himself up from his feet, following her over to the trash like a lost puppy.

“Y/N, oceans aren’t boiling, okay? Frogs aren’t raining from the sky. Let’s get your strength back first” Dean tried to reason with her, his voice raising as she discarded the rubbish. She spun around to glare at him defiantly, her hands on her hips, “I’m fine” She growled, her eyes narrowing. Dean scoffed in disbelief and rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, you’re fine,” he retorted sarcastically. “You almost died last night” He reminded her, his tone sharp and stern. Y/N’s mouth snapped shut, she defiantly crossed her arms over her chest. Huffing in defeat, hating the fact that Dean was right. “Well, did you call the Roadhouse? They know anything?” She asked, Dean’s blood ran cold at the question.

He knew he had to tell her the truth about everyone at the Roadhouse but he didn’t know how. He slowly shook his head, “Yeah” He admitted, his voice wavering slightly. Y/N narrowed her eyes, ‘Dean senses’ going off at the tone in his voice.

“Dean, what is it?” She asked, Dean heavily sighed before turning to face her. “The Roadhouse burned to the ground. Ash is dead. Probably Ellen, a lot of other hunters too.” Dean revealed. Y/N’s eyes grew wide in horror as he words, her heart thumping against her chest.

“What?” She whispered, the shock and disbelief clear in her voice. “Jo-” She gasped, pressing her hand to her mouth. Dean quickly shook his head, “No, she- she’s alive” He quickly reassured her, seeing the panic on her face. Despite the comfort that Y/N felt at the news, her heart ached for the people lost in the fire. For Ash.

He had always been a kind man to her. He was a flirtatious bastard but he was also kind and did anything she asked. She looked up at Dean, her eyes shimmering with tears that threatened to fall, “Demons?” She managed to choke out. “Yeah, we think so. We think because Ash found something” Dean nodded, his jaw clenched as he spoke.

Y/N’s face twisted in anger, “What did he find?” Her voice raised as she spoke, the tears now streaming down her face. “Bobby’s working on that with Sam and Jo.” Dean told her. She nodded, before taking our her bike keys from her pocket. “Well come on then, Bobby’s only a few hours away.”

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Stop, Y/N, stop, dammit!” Dean grabbed her arm, stopping her from walking away, Y/N’s face contorted with pain from her back. “Listen to me, I’m gonna say it again. You almost died in there. I mean, what would I have-” His words died in his throat. Dean inhaled deeply as Y/N eyed him curiously.

“Look, can’t you just take care of yourself for a little bit, huh? Just a little bit” Dean pleaded. “I’m sorry, sweetie. No.” Y/N shook her head. Her words and the pet name coming out casually made the butterflies in his stomach erupt again. He couldn’t focus, his mind racing as Y/N looked up at him with her big (e/c) eyes, her head tilted to the side, a pout on her lips.

That simple look was enough to make Dean Winchester give up his soul again. “Fuck” he muttered to himself, letting go of her arm before shoving his hands into his pockets as a triumphant smiled spread across her face.

____________________________________________

Sioux Falls, South Dakota

Dean knocked on Bobby’s door, shoving his hands nervously in his pocket as Y/N stood next to him. The door opened to reveal Bobby, his face was grim with exhaustion clearly evident in his eyes. His hair was a mess and clothes were wrinkled, his usual trucker hat absent from his head.

The hunter’s eyes widened with shock and terror as he faced a very much alive Y/N. Her eyes softened, her face twitching into a smile. “Hey, Bobby” Dean muttered, not making eye contact with Bobby. “Hey, Bobby” Y/N smiled.

A moment of silence passed between the trio as Bobby took a moment to process the sight in front of him. Then he looked between Dean and Y/N, “Y/N. It’s good to…see you around” Bobby’s tone was inexplainable. “Well, thanks to you and Jo for patching me up” Y/N chuckled, patting him on his shoulder before walking in. “Don’t mention it”

“Hey Bobby, I got the-” Jo said as she came walking in from the kitchen with the coffee pot, the glass slipped from her hand as an audible gasp left her lips when her eyes landed on Y/N. The sound of shattering glass made Y/N flinch and freeze in spot, her eyes meeting Jo’s. Her hands slowly raised as tears of happiness welled up in her eyes, “You’re-” Jo didn’t get to finish her sentence.

Because Sam came rushing down into the room with just his towel on around his waist, sopping wet as if he had just gotten out of the shower. A gun in his hand, “What’s going o- Y/N?!” Y/N spun around to face Sam, her eyes wide, a small smile on her face. “Hi, Sammy” She greeted him, holding back the tears as best as she could.

That failed and the tears started to fall down her face. Sam lowered the gun, his eyes growing wide with shock and relief. Sam and Jo engulfed her into a group hug, squeezing her tightly, all while shooting Dean harsh glares.

“I’m glad to see you’re okay” Sam whispered, placing a kiss on the top of her head. “I can’t believe it,” Jo added, tears forming in the corners of her eyes. Y/N chuckled from her position between the two of them, her small body smothered by both tall people. “Me too, I thought I was a goner.” She managed to huff out.

“Dean told me you used my herb spell book to patch me up. Thanks” Y/N said gratefully, gently pinching Jo’s cheek. The huntress’ heart dropped, lying to her best friend wasn’t something she wanted to do. “Yeah, anytime” Jo chuckled awkwardly as Y/N turned back around. Sam and Jo shared a terrified look.

Y/N wiped the tears from her cheeks as her eyes met with Dean’s, who was leaning against the wall with a guilty look on his face. Bobby was eying Dean so bad, if looks could kill, Dean would have an early visit to hell.

Dean couldn’t look anyone in their eyes, “Well, Y/N’s better. And we’re back in it now, so…what do you guys know?” Dean asked. Bobby’s glare didn’t stop there, Sam and Jo were on edge themselves, thinking Dean did the worst thing possible. The tension was palpable. Y/N noticed everyone was silent, feeling a bit awkward.

“Well, we found something but we’re not sure what the hell it means” Bobby told them, all now in his living room. “What is it?” Y/N asked, taking a deep breath as she crossed her arms over her chest. “Demonic omens. It’s like a fucking tidal wave” A now fully dressed Sam began, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

“Cattle deaths, lightning storms. They’ve skyrocketed from nowhere” Jo added, using her fingers to list them off. “Here” Bobby said, turning the map with all the sightings circled off to face Dean and Y/N. “All around here, except for one place” Bobby gestured to the map before placing it down on a certain state.

“Southern Wyoming” Y/N and Dean’s brows furrowed at Bobby’s words. “Wyoming?” Dean questioned. “Yeah, that one area’s totally clean. Spotless” Sam stated, “It’s almost as if…” Jo began, but trailed off, crossing her arms over her chest. “What?” Y/N cocked her brow, urging her on. Jo’s eyes flickered over to Y/N, a flash of fear playing in them.

“…the demons are surrounding it” Jo finished. Dean’s eyes widened, “But you guys don’t know what?” He asked. “No, and by this point my eyes are swimming” Bobby sighed in frustration before turning to Y/N with a soft expression. “Y/N, would you take a look at it. Let Jo and Sam help you, maybe y’all can catch something I couldn’t” Bobby said gently.

Y/N nodded, “Yeah, sure Bobby” She smiled sadly before turning her back to them, trying to get a better look at the map. Bobby then turned his attention to Dean, the soft expression faltering. “Come on, Dean. I got some more books in the truck. Help me lug em in” His tone was almost deathly. Dean swallowed harshly.

“Yeah, sure” Was all Dean could muster up as they made their way into the scrap yard, out of earshot from everyone. The sound of the screen door shutting behind them made Y/N’s ears twitch, her head tilting to listen. Y/N could hear the sounds of Bobby and Dean talking, but couldn’t make out what they were saying.

“Hey, Jo. Can I talk to Sam, alone?” Y/N asked Jo, giving her a small smile. “Sure” Jo smiled back before walking off . Y/N turned her attention back to the taller man. “So…” She began awkwardly. “Yeah, uh” Sam scratched the back of his head nervously as he eyed Y/N carefully.

He couldn’t stop the thoughts racing through his head, wondering how she could have just come back to life after being murdered. He knew his brother had something to do with it and the thought made him sick.

“What did yellow-eyes tell you?” Y/N swallowed harshly as she asked this, remembering the fact that they both had demon blood in them since birth. Sam stiffened at her question and Y/N let out a shaky sigh, the two shared a nervous look, neither one of them willing to say it out loud. “We can’t tell, Dean” Sam finally broke his silence.

“Yeah” Was all Y/N could manage as tears welled up in the corners of her eyes. “He’ll think we’re fucking freaks” Y/N scoffed, wiping the corners of her eyes. “We aren’t freaks” Sam reassured her, his facial expression full of sadness. “We didn’t ask for this” Sam placed his hand gently on her shoulder, she glanced up at him.

The tone of Sam’s voice was almost as if he was trying to convince himself and he wasn’t sure. Y/N instantly picked up on that, “Are you trying to convince me or yourself?” She chuckled dryly. “Both” Sam smiled sadly at her, giving her shoulder a gentle pat before letting go. Y/N gave him a sad smile in response before standing up to walk over to the table filled with different weapons, books, and maps.

“You stupid ass! What did you do?!” Bobby’s exclaims were directed towards Dean with pure rage and fury. His heart sunk in his chest, the dread pooling in his gut at the thought of Bobby’s disappointment. Dean’s head tilted to the ground as Bobby snatched him by his collar, shaking him. “WHAT DID YOU DO?!”

Dean still refused to answer him, dread filled Bobby’s heart when he realized exactly what Dean had done. “You made a deal. For Y/N, didn’t you?” Bobby’s voice shook when he asked the obvious question. Dean’s eyes stayed fixated on the ground, his mouth refusing to answer the question or to disagree.

Bobby was watching him intently, waiting for an answer. “How long did they give you?” Bobby narrowed his eyes at the elder Winchester. “Bobby” Dean shook his head. “How long?!” Bobby shoved Dean harshly by his chest. “One year,” Dean said, his voice low. He didn’t react to his shove push, keeping his eyes to the ground as he tried to avoid Bobby’s enraged gaze.

“Damn it. Dean” Bobby groaned, shaking his head. “Which is why we gotta find this yellow-eyed son of a bitch.” Dean said determined. “That’s why I’m gonna kill him myself. I mean, I got nothing to lose now, right?” Dean shrugged. Bobby snatched Dean by his collar again. “I could throttle you!” Bobby exclaimed, shaking him.

“Oh, and what? send me downstairs ahead of schedule?” Dean shot back snarkily. Bobby scoffed, a flash of rage again in his eyes at Dean’s words before he let go of his collar. “What is it with you Winchesters and L/Ns, huh? You, F/N, your dad, you’re all just itching to throw yourselves down the pit” Bobby snapped. Dean's face dropped.

“That’s my point. Dad brought me back, Bobby. I’m not even supposed to be here!” Bobby’s mouth dropped open as Dean continued. “At least this way, something good can come out of it, you know? Like my life could mean something” Bobby was stunned into silence, staring down at Dean like he had lost his mind.

“What?! And it didn’t before?! Have you got that low an opinion of yourself?!” He yelled, snatching him by his collar again. “Are you that fucked in the head?!” Tears welled up in both men’s eyes as Dean forced himself to finally look Bobby in the eye. “I couldn’t let her die, Bobby.” Dean’s voice cracked, his eyes glazed over red.

“I couldn’t. She’s the love of my life” He confessed. Bobby held onto Dean’s collar for a while longer. His heart ached for him as he listened to the elder Winchester’s voice crack as he confessed that much to him. He’s never seen him so vulnerable before, never heard Dean say that out loud about Y/N.

“How is the love of your life gonna feel when she knows you’re going to hell? How is YOUR BROTHER gonna feel when he knows you’re going to hell? How’d you feel when you knew your dad went for you?!” Bobby shook him again.

Bobby’s words struck Dean right in the heart. He swallowed the lump in his throat as he thought back to last year when John took the swan dive to the pit, the feeling of utter helplessness and fear he felt. He didn’t think his absence could possibly make her feel that kind of anguish. Sure she cared for him as family but she didn’t love him, so it shouldn’t hurt her as much, right?

Was it his actions based on his pure and genuine love for her? Or was it his selfishness in never wanting her to leave him, even if she wasn’t his. “You can’t tell her. You take a shot at me, whatever you gotta do. But please, don’t tell her” Dean pleaded, weakly shaking his head.

“Please, Bobby,” Dean repeated, staring right into his eyes. “Please don’t tell her” Bobby’s shoulders slumped in defeat as he dropped his grip on Dean’s shirt. Both men with tears in their eyes, desperately trying not to cry. Before Bobby could say anything, the sound of tools clattering in the background made their heads snap in its direction.

Dean and Bobby shared a wide eyed look before ducking behind a car. The two peered around the side, both silent as they saw a shadow at the corner of their eyes. Dean’s hand hovered over his gun in his waistband, silently watching this figure move around the corners, looking as though they were searching for something.

Bobby too, had a firm grip on his own gun, his knuckles turning white. They instantly grabbed the person, both in shock when they realized who it was. “Ellen?!” It was indeed Ellen. Although her appearance took a toll. Her clothes were messy and torn, a few strands of hair stuck to her face and her skin was paler than usual. She nodded, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Ellen. Oh, god” Dean breathed out in relief, hugging her tightly. The motherly woman hugged him back just as tightly, a few tears streaming down her face. Bobby, despite his anger and disappointment towards Dean, was just as relieved as the other two, joining in on the hug. “Jo, where’s Jo?” Ellen immediately asked for her daughter, looking around the yard frantically.

“She's inside. She’s safe” Dean reassured her, rubbing her arms gently. “Thank god” She sighed, wiping away the tears while taking deep, uneven breaths. She quickly broke out of Dean’s hug and pushed herself to Bobby’s front door. Dean and Bobby followed behind her, Bobby reaching for the front door knob as Ellen burst through it.

“Joanna Beth!” Ellen cried out. They heard rustling, followed by Sam’s voice. “Mom?! Is that you?” Y/N and Jo immediately came into view, having risen from the spot they were sitting in, Sam following behind her, an urgent look on his face. Jo was in disbelief, thinking her mom was dead from the fire.

Her heart was beating out of his chest, “Mommy!” Jo cried, hurdling herself into her mothers arms. Ellen held her close, tears streaming down her eyes as she cradled the back of Jo’s head. “Oh, sweet girl, I thought I lost you” She breathed out shakily, kissing the top of her hair.

Sam and Y/N stood by, smiles on their faces as they watched the touching reunion, seeing the relief and comfort on their faces. Dean’s heart softened at the sight, his eyes quickly flickering over in Y/N’s direction. A small smile tugged at the corner of his mouth.

They were all now sitting at Bobby’s dining room table. Bobby poured some holy water into a shot glass before sliding it across to Ellen’s side. “Bobby, is this really necessary?” Ellen scoffed. “She’s fine, Bobby. Seriously” Y/N assured him but Bobby was still skeptical. “Just a belt of holy water. Shouldn’t hurt” Bobby shrugged.

Ellen, with a stoic expression, downed the holy water with no hesitation. They all stayed quiet, watching for any reaction. “Whiskey, now. If you don’t mind” She sassed, wiping her mouth before sliding the glass across the table back to Bobby.

“Mom, what happened? How did you get out?” Jo asked concerned but relieved to see her mom alive and well. Ellen took a deep breath, “I wasn’t supposed to. I was supposed to be in there with everybody else” She muttered before scoffing. “But we ran out of pretzels, of all things” Ellen shook her head as Bobby slid the shot glass back to her.

“It was just dumb luck” She said before downing the whiskey. Dean, Sam, Y/N, and Jo watched intently, still baffled by the events they had all just witnessed. They knew Ellen was a tough cookie, especially Jo knew, but their mouths remained opened anyways as they heard the rest of the story. “Anyway, that’s when Ash called, panic in his voice”

Tears welled up in Ellen and Jo’s eyes, “He told me to look in the safe. Then the call cut out. By the time I got back, the flames were sky high. Everybody was dead, I couldn’t have been gone more than 15 minutes” The room fell silent as they took in that statement. Jo put her hand on her mom’s shoulder, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

Y/N held her hands together on her lap, letting the words sink in. “I’m sorry, Ellen” Y/N offered her sympathy, giving Jo a small smile. “A lot of good people died in there. And I got to live” Ellen said, emotion clear in her voice. “Lucky me” She scoffed.

Jo winced at the dark remark, “I’m sorry, honey” Ellen apologized, her throat caught in a lump. Jo shook her head, “At least you’re okay” She assured, reaching over and grabbing her mothers hand, bringing it to her lips and placing a gentle kiss on the back of her knuckles.

“Ellen, you mentioned a safe,” Bobby asked quietly. “A hidden safe we kept in the basement.” Ellen nodded. “Demons get what was in it?” Bobby asked. “No” Ellen shook her head before reaching into her jacket to retrieve a map. She opened it out on the table, turning it to face Sam, Dean and Y/N. “Wyoming?” Dean and Sam gaped. “What does that mean?” Y/N muttered, toying with her necklace.

Hours of research later, “I don’t believe it” Bobby gasped as he walked out of the kitchen with a book, placing it down in front of the map. “What? You got something?” Jo asked, “A lot more than that” Bobby grumbled, tracing his fingers over the map from the safe which had X’s at random points marks around it.

“Each of these X’s is an abandoned frontier church, all mid-19th century. And all of them…built by Samuel Colt” Bobby revealed, everyone's eyes widened. “Samuel Colt? The demon-killing, gun-making Samuel Colt?” Dean asked in shock. “Yep. And there’s more” Bobby nodded. “He built private railway lines connecting church to church..” Bobby then began drawing on the map.

“…that just happens to lay out like this” The church’s connected in the shape of a pentagram…a devil's trap. “Tell me that’s not what I think it is,” Dean muttered in shock. “It’s a Devil’s Trap” Sam said with wide eyes, Dean and Y/N wiped their mouths simultaneously in shock. “A hundred square mile devils trap” Jo added, running a hand through her hair.

“That’s fucking brilliant. Iron lines, demons can’t cross” Y/N muttered as she shook her head, impressed and baffled by the idea. “I’ve never heard of anything that massive,” Ellen commented. “No one has,” Bobby added. “And after all these years, none of the lines are broken? I mean, it still works?” Dean asked.

Realization dawned on Sam and Y/N, the two sharing a look. “Definitely.” Sam said. “How do you know?” Jo asked, raising a brow. “All those omens we found. I mean, the demons, they must be circling and they can’t get in” Sam explained. “Yeah, well, they’re trying” Y/N scoffed, running a hand over her mouth.

“Why? What’s inside?” Ellen asked curiously. “That’s what I’ve been looking for. And, uh, there’s nothing except an old cowboy cemetery right in the middle” Dean told them, pointing to the middle of the devils trap drawn on the map. “Why? What’s so important about a cemetery? What’s Colt trying to protect?” Jo muttered.

Dean and Y/N shared a look now, both thinking the same thing. “Well, unless…” Dean trailed off. “Unless what?” Bobby asked. “What if Colt wasn’t trying to keep the demons out? What if he was trying to keep something in?” Y/N suggested, “Well, that’s a comforting thought” Ellen deadpanned.

“Yeah, you think” Jo scoffed, “Could they do it Bobby? Could they get inside?” Sam asked nervously. “This thing’s so powerful. You’d practically need an A-Bomb to get in. No way a full-blood demon gets across” Bobby scoffed. Sam and Y/N shared a wide eyed look.

The two realized now why Yellow-Eyes needed one of his “special children”. “No. But we know who could” Y/N groaned, Jake was gonna fill out the demon’s and get over that trap.

____________________________________________

Wyoming

The trio, Bobby, Ellen and Jo all scattered across the cowboy cemetery, armed to the T. Waiting for Jake to show, it was nightfall, Sam stayed hidden behind old tombs with Jo while Bobby and Ellen hid behind the crypt alone. Dean and Y/N were a couple yards away from Sam and Jo, hidden behind another large tomb.

They all watched intently from different spots, waiting patiently for Jake, all on alert at any sign or sound. “Jesus, where is he?” Y/N muttered impatiently, wiping the sweat from her brow. It became silent amongst them, a sign that they all thought. Just as they had this thought, the creaking of the old gate opening followed by footsteps towards the crypt were welcomed into their ears.

Y/N’s body immediately went on the defensive upon spotting Jake’s figure slowly walking through the gate, her eyes scanning the area. Dean and Sam kept a close eye on him. He stopped in front of the old crypt, staring at it intently. Sam gave Dean a curt nod, indicating for them to reveal themselves.

Jo and Y/N followed to suit while Bobby and Jo moved from behind the crypt. “Howdy, Jake” Sam snarled at him, all hunters aiming their guns at him. “Surprise motherfucker” Y/N quipped, glaring at him. Jake’s blood when his eyes landed on her, widening as his pulse started to race. “No. You were dead. I killed you” Jake gaped.

Dean’s face twisted into a sneer, narrowing his eyes. Jake shook his head, eyes flickering between the hunters all surrounding him. “I did! I cut clean through your spinal cord” Jake insisted. Y/N was in shock, the rapid healing of her wound making sense. Even with the healing balm from her spell book, her tattoo wouldn’t have been intact.

Her eyes flickered over to Dean who wore a guilt ridden expression, her heart plummeted to her feet as Jake continued. “You can’t be alive. You can’t be” Jake shook his head, eyes still wide with horror. “Okay, just take it real easy there, son” Bobby warned, glaring at the army vet. “And if I don't?” Jake challenged.

“Wait and see!” Sam bellowed, “What, you a tough guy all of a sudden? What are you gonna do, kill me?” Jake scoffed, “It’s a thought” Sam clenched his jaw, tightening his grip on his gun. There was no way he was hesitating to kill him this time. Last time, it cost Y/N her life. He was not letting Jake slip away again.

Jake’s lip curled into a twisted smile as he let out a scoff. Dean clenched his jaw as a chill ran down his spine from hearing the tone of his voice. Jake took a step towards Y/N and Dean aimed his gun to the air, shooting a bullet into the sky before pointing it a foot away from his face. “Don't you DARE take another step,” Dean growled.

“You had your chance. You both had your chance. You couldn’t” Jake said to Sam and Y/N. “Well we won’t make that mistake twice” Y/N spat, her eyes spitting in Jake’s direction. Jake chuckled darkly, this made Dean’s blood run cold. “What are you smiling at, you little bitch?” The elder Winchester snarled.

Jake smirked, his eyes flickering over to Jo, a nasty grin on his face. “Hey sexy, do me a favor.” His eyes glowed a tiny ball of yellow before saying, “Put that gun to your head” Jo glared at him, but fear soon took over her face as she tried to fight off his control. Shakily placing the gun to her temple. “No!” Ellen almost sobbed as she watched her daughter place the gun to her temple against her will.

Sam’s heart plummeted as Y/N’s eyes widened. “You too, lady” Jake smirked at Ellen, making her do the exact same as Jo. A dark smile taking over his face, everyone’s blood ran cold. “See that Ava girl was right. Once you give into it, there’s all sorts of new Jedi Mind Tricks you can learn” Jake’s eyes darkened.

Sam’s heart froze, his hand still wrapped around the handle of his gun. “Let her go!!” Sam demanded, “Sammy, shoot..him..” Jo pleaded, her tone shaky. “You’ll be mopping up skull before you get a shot off” Jake shrugged, daring them to take a shot. No one moved a muscle, not willing to make a move.

“Everybody put your guns down” Jake demanded as Jo and Ellen shook with fear. “Except you, sweethearts” He smirked at them. They all did as they were told, guns clattering to the ground. Jake smirked, his eyes glowing bright yellow. Bobby went first, then Dean, then Y/N. But Sam was still gripping his gun, “Put.It.Down” Jake demanded again.

Jo was on the brink of crying watching this all unfold, “Shoot him, Sammy!" She pleaded, her voice quivering. Sam looked at the gun he was still holding, then up to Jake’s glowing eyes. His expression was torn with internal battle. “Your bitch’ll be dead, the second you empty that chamber, I promise you” Jake threatened through gritted teeth.

This was all it took for Sam to surrender, holding his gun up before placing it on the ground. “Okay, thank you” Jake smirked, he then quickly spun around, taking out the Colt. Dean, Y/N and Bobby took the chance to knock the guns Jo and Ellen had aimed at their head. Dean and Bobby knocked it out of Ellen’s hand while Y/N knocked it out of Jo’s hand.

Sam quickly picked up his gun from the ground, aiming it at Jake. The sound of two bullets escaping the chambers bellowed through the cemetery as Jake stuck the Colt into the crypt unlocking it. Several bullets pierced into Jake’s back, the culprit being Sam with a dark look on his face.

Jake fell to the ground, bleeding from his mouth, gasping for air as Sam stood over him, his gun aimed straight at his chest. “Please-…please…no, n-” Jake’s pleas were cut short when Sam emptied the last of his chamber, the blood splattering across his face. Everyone was shocked at the cold move by Sam.

Y/N’s stomach was churning as she followed behind Dean, her eyes on Jake’s bullet ridden body. The crypt was still turning since Jake unlocked it before Sam killed him. Bobby walked slowly over to the old crypt with slow steps, everyone following him closely. The crypt door creaked loudly with a thud, “Oh no” Bobby muttered in fear. “Bobby, what is it?” Ellen asked. “It’s hell”

With Bobby’s words, Dean instantly took the Colt out of the keyhole. “Take cover! Now!” Bobby shouted, pushing Ellen over to take cover while Dean grabbed Y/N’s hand and Jo grabbed Sam’s hand, all throwing themselves over tombs to hide behind headstones.

The crypt door finally came crashing down with a loud and thunderous bang, black smoke clouding the skies as demons escaped from Hell. The ground beneath them shaking like an earthquake was in effect, thunder and lightning filling the sky.

“What the fuck just happened?!” Y/N shouted, that burning feeling she usually had whenever demons were around skyrocketed. Her entire body was heated, “That's a devil's gate, a damn door to hell!” Ellen shouted back in response over the thunderous sounds. “Come on, we gotta shut that gate!” Jo yelled, everyone did as told, rushing over to the gate as Dean held the Colt in his hands.

A thought crossed his mind, “If the demon gave to Jake…then maybe..” Dean said in realization, a flash of smoke came across his eyes, indicating he might be right before turning around to aim the gun at Azazel. The Yellow Eyed Demon waved his hand in the air, summoning the gun from Dean’s hand to his. “Boys shouldn’t play with Daddy’s guns,” Azazel smirked.

With a tilt of his head, he sent Dean flying across the cemetery, causing the Hunter to hit his head on a tombstone. “CHARMING!!” “DEAN!!” Y/N and Sam screamed when they saw Azazel toss Dean in the air, currently at the gate, trying to shut the Devil’s Gate with the help of Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Sam. All grunting heavily as they strained to shut the door.

Sam and Y/N instantly ran over to aid Dean, but Azazel waved his hand, sending Sam barreling back-first into a tree and Y/N into a tombstone, across from Dean. “I’ll get to you two in a minute, kids. But I’m proud of you, Sammy. I knew you had it in ya” Azazel grinned before turning to Dean with yellow eyes. The elder Winchester was attempting to get out but the demon pushed him back down.

“So Dean, I gotta thank you” Azazel stated mockingly. Dean, gritting his teeth trying to resist the mind grip, struggling as Azazel stooped down in front of him. “You see, demons can’t resurrect people unless a deal is made.” The demon began, “I know, red tape, it’ll make you nuts” He mused. “But thanks to you, Y/N’s back in rotation” Azazel grinned.

Dean’s eyes darkened and Y/N’s filled with tears, “Now, I wasn’t counting on that but I’m glad. I like her and Sammy better than Jake anyhow” Azazel chuckled, “Besides she’s got that ‘mojo’ thing going on” Azazel smirked, grabbing Dean’s chin and lifting his head up. Dean shook with disgust, “Tell me, have you ever heard the expression: If a deal sounds too good to be true, it probably is?”

Dean’s eyes glanced over at Y/N, “No…no” Y/N was in disbelief, shaking her head, pleading that Dean didn’t know what she thought he did. Guilt and shame washed over him, “You call that a good deal?” Dean gritted his teeth at Azazel. “Aw, it’s a better shake than your Dad got…and you never wondered why. I’m surprised at you” Azazel shot back, hitting a nerve before moving closer to Dean.

“I mean, you saw what your brother just did to Jake right? That was pretty cold wasn’t it? Good thing it wasn’t Y/N, she would’ve probably nailed him to the cross” Azazel chuckled darkly. “How certain are you that what you brought back is 100% pure Y/N? Are you even sure that she and Sam are 100% pure?” He mused.

Dean’s face paled and his throat closed, staring at Azazel in horror. Sam and Y/N shared a terrified look. Y/N’s eyes grazed over the area, looking for the Colt. When her eyes landed on it, on the ground next to Azazel, she attempted to summon the Colt into her hands but the hold the demon had on her was weakening her powers.

“You of all people should know that what’s dead should stay dead” Azazel gritted his teeth at Dean, who scoffed, shaking with anger. “Anyway” The demon sighed before dusting off his pants, “Thanks a bunch, I knew I kept you alive for some reason. Until now anyway” The demon grinned as he picked up the Colt from the ground, aiming it at Dean.

“I couldn’t have done it without your pathetic self-loathing, self-destructive desire to sacrifice yourself for your family.” Suddenly, the spirits of John Winchester and F/N L/N appeared behind Azazel, both men wrapped their arms around him before he could shoot Dean. Dean and Y/N’s eyes widened when they saw their fathers. A loud gasp leaving Sam’s mouth.

The body Azazel was possessing dropped dead to the ground, “Daddy?” Y/N gasped as the veteran hunters wrestled with the black smoke that left the body Azazel was possessing, holding him down for long enough for Dean to retrieve the Colt. Within a few seconds, the demon smoke went barreling back into the body.

Azazel got up with wide eyes to see Dean aiming the Colt straight at him. Without hesitation, Dean Winchester used the last bullet of the Colt, aiming straight at the heart. Blood spewed out of the wound, almost as if the bullet stunned the demon. An orangish light glowed through the body, seizing for a few seconds before dropping dead to the floor.

Sam and Y/N finally escaped from the hold Azazel had on them, now able to breath, dropping to the ground. Ellen, Bobby and Jo finally got the gates closed, all grunting and screaming as the door creaked inwards, shutting completely.

Sam, Dean and Y/N pushed themselves up from the ground to see the spirit of their Dads. A tearful moment for them all, John stepped forward and placed a hand on his elder son's shoulder, tears cascading down his cheeks before he turned to his younger son, a bright smile in his direction. Sam nodded with tears in his eyes in response.

F/N placed his hand on Dean’s other shoulder, mouthing a quiet, “Thank you” to Dean for saving his daughter. Dean nodded back In responses shaking with emotion. F/N turned to his only daughter, a mournful smile on his face as he mouthed, “I love you” to his only child. “I love you too” Y/N mouthed back, her face creasing as she cried.

F/N and John stepped back, giving their children one last loving gaze before bursting into a bright white light, seemingly having found peace. Sam, Dean and Y/N were still in shock, “Well, check that off the to do list” Dean chuckled dryly, “You did it” Sam croaked, a flash of relief weighing off his chest.

“I didn’t do it alone” Dean smiled sadly, “Fellas, you think dad and John really-” Y/N’s words got caught in her throat. “You think they really climbed out of hell?” Dean chuckled dryly again, “The door was open, if anyone was stubborn enough to do it, it’ll be them” Dean snorted, Sam and Y/N nodded in tearful agreement.

“Where do you think they are now?” Sam asked, “I don’t know” Dean frowned, “I kind of can’t believe it guys. I mean- our whole lives, everything, has green prepping us for this. And now, I- I kind of don’t know what to say” Sam sniffled, shaking his head in disbelief. “I do.” Dean smirked before kneeling down besides the dead body Azazel was possessing.

“That was for our moms. You son of a bitch” Dean growled at him.

____________________________________________

Author's Note: HI AGAIN, so this next scene’s song inspo is Again by Noah Cyrus (hehehehe) ENJOY!

____________________________________________

Sioux Falls, South Dakota

The ride all the way back, Y/N hadn't said a word. She wouldn’t dare make eye contact with Dean, and it tore into his heart. It was until Y/N finally had enough of being in her own mind, she confronted Dean. Everyone was in Bobby’s living room when Y/N emerged, “I need you talk to you” She snapped at Dean.

Dean winced at her sudden blunt tone while everyone fell silent. He nodded in obedience while Y/N dragged him into Bobby's yard with a scowl on her face. The door slammed with a loud bang behind her as she turned on Dean, “You know, when Jake saw me, it was like he saw a ghost” She spat in Dean's direction, her arms folded across her chest with eyes burning with anger.

Dean fell silent, refusing to look at her as he stalked over to his car. “Don’t walk away from me! You heard him. He said he killed me!” Y/N called out to him, following behind Dean while heavy on her feet. She stopped him from getting it to his car, shutting the door as he opened it. “He was wrong” Dean lied. “I don’t think he was, Dean” Y/N spat, forcing Dean’s head to face her. “What happened after I was stabbed?”

“I already told you” Dean snapped back, flicking her hand off of his chin roughly. “Not everything” Y/N shot back, “Y/N, we just killed the demon. Can we celebrate for a minute?!” Dean exclaimed in frustration. “Did I die?” Y/N’s voice broke.

Dean’s heart clenched at Y/N’s broken tone, looking away from her. “Did you sell your soul for me like John did for you?” She demanded. “Oh come on! No!” Dean shouted, lying. “Tell me the truth. Charming, tell me the truth” Y/N pleaded. Dean clenched his jaw. Y/N’s eyes widened at the confirmation, “You did, didn’t you?” She cried out to him.

“I did it to save you” Dean confessed quietly with his head hung. "You- you sold your soul for me?" Y/N repeated, her voice shaky. "Dean, how could you do something so... idiotic and reckless? Don’t you realize what you’ve done?! What that means for you? Dammit.. you stupid stupid idiot!" Y/N raged, reeling her fist back before driving it into Bobby’s truck drivers side window.

Glass shattered everywhere, showering the surrounding area. Bobby's truck was now sporting a gaping hole where the driver's side window used to be.

He didn’t answer her, he just stood with his head hung. There was no denying the fear that flashed through his own eyes, what he did was not an easy decision to make. He knew the consequences. He knew that he was a walking dead man with a limited date, however, that wasn't what hurt him. What hurt him, was how Y/N was reacting, all because of him.

“You answer me when I’m speaking to you, dammit! How could you?! How could you just throw your life away!? Why?!” She growled, pushing him by his chest.

He stumbled backwards as she pushed him, his heart pounding in his chest. The mixture of anger and fear in her eyes cut through him like a knife.

"What did you want me to do, huh?!" Dean snapped back, his voice loud. "Watch you die? Let you go into the light?” He scoffed angrily. “No. I couldn't do it. I couldn't lose you. I had to save you."

“So, what!? You throw your life away for me?! You promised me Dean!!!” She sobbed. “You promised me that you wouldn’t do anything crazy if me or Sam died and you broke that!” Her heart was pounding through her chest, ready to give out. The look of guilt potent on Deans face.

“How long?” She demanded, but Dean shook his head. “HOW LONG?!” She shouted again, shoving him by his chest. “A YEAR!” Dean screamed. “I can’t believe this…I was dead! You of all people should know that’s not natural! We’re hunters, we die. That’s life!” She screamed enraged, smacking the back of her hand against her other palm as she yelled, a mixture of fleeting guilt that Dean just sacrificed his humanity for her.

“I don't care!” Dean shouted, his eyes burning with pain and frustration. His fists clenched and unclenched to his sides. “You wanna know why I did it? Huh?! I did it because I made a promise to your father on his deathbed that I’d keep you safe and I intended on keeping it. It’s my job to take care of you” Dean lied through his pearly white teeth.

“Don’t you dare feed that bullshit Dean Winchester. ” She snapped, pointing her finger at him. “I'm a grown ass woman, it is NOT your job to take care of me. We take care of EACH OTHER! I didn’t think letting us die in peace was supposed to be printed in INK!” She further raged, pacing the scrap yard.

“So you can keep a promise to my dead father but you can’t keep one to me? ME?!” Her chest heaved as she pointed to herself. “I wanna know the truth,” Y/N demanded. “Why?! How?! Why would you do that?!” She sobbed, her hands buried in her hair as she paced back and forward.

“I JUST TOLD YOU!”

“BULLSHIT!”

"BECAUSE I LOVE YOU!" He shouted, in a pained and frustrated tone that shook his whole body. His own voice breaking with the weight of his confession.

He couldn’t hold back anymore, his emotions got the best of him, he didn’t care if he had to risk it all to get it out, he wasn’t leaving in a year and not let her know the truth, she deserved that much. She deserved the world. Better than he could offer. He may have just offered up his soul on a silver platter, but she deserved far more than that in his eyes.

Her pacing abruptly stopped, his words struck right into her heart. She looked at him like a deer in headlights. Y/N couldn’t believe what just came out of his mouth. She stood there, frozen like a statue, her face etched with shock and disbelief. Words refused to escape her, her mouth opened and closed several times but nothing came out. She just stared at him in silence.

His chest rose and fell with every heavy ragged breath. His green eyes burned with the intensity of his confession, as he stared back at her. His walls had finally crumbled, and he’d let the truth spill from his lips, like he was an open book.

"I love you, dammit! I love you more than anything in this world! I couldn't let you go. I couldn't just watch you die and do nothing! Because I can't imagine a life without you.” His tone was broken and pained.

Y/N’s heart sank to the floor, her face dropped. She was in utter shock and disbelief. Dean didn’t know what to do now, how long would it take her to say something? Would she laugh in his face? The silence was excruciating as he stood in front of her.

“W-what-“ Is all she could muster up.

Dean took a deep breath, his chest heaving with the weight of his confession. The area was eerily silent, the only sound was their ragged breathing. He took a few steps closer to her, his eyes never straying from hers. "You heard me," He said, trying to steady his voice.

"I- I’ve been holding back for so long..." He started, his voice barely above a whisper. “…because I didn't want to complicate things, but seeing you die.. that just..." Dean choked back a wave of emotion that threatened to overpower him.

"I love you, Y/N L/N. I didn't have the guts to say it out loud until now. I know you don't feel the same way but I can’t hide it anymore. Not after seeing you like that"

Y/N stood motionless, her eyes wider than saucers. Her heart thudded in her chest as she tried to process what Dean had just said. She couldn't believe it. The man she had always been in love with, the man she had never thought could feel the same way about her, had just confessed his love for her.

As the shock started to wear off, an array of emotions washed over her. Surprise, happiness, fear, guilt, and most of all, love. A million thoughts raced through her mind, but one prevailed above all else.

She loved him too. She always had.

She closed her eyes, convinced this was a dream, allowing his words to sink in. The fact that he thought she didn’t feel the same way ripped into her heart more than hearing he loved her back. Taking a couple seconds and deep breath, she reopened them, “Again. Say it again” Her breath hitched, her eyes piercing into his as she swallowed the growing lump in her throat.

He stepped even closer, gently taking her left hand in his. He looked directly into her eyes, his voice trembling slightly.

‘I wanna be your lover,’

‘I don't wanna be your friend’

"I love you, princess. I am hopelessly in love with you. I love everything about you. Your passion, your intelligence, your strength, and your stubbornness. I love the way you laugh and you roll your eyes at me when I make terrible puns. I love the way you smack me upside my head when I’m being an ass.” He listed off sincerely with a light chuckle as Y/N’s (e/c) eyes searched his emerald ones.

‘You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear’

‘So tell me that you love me again (tell me that you love me again)’

“I love the way you scrunch your nose up and your eyebrows together when you’re focused and thinking hard about something. I love the way you look when you’re hunched over riding Quinn. Fuck, I love the way you crush a cigarette butt with your boot. I even love that you stole one of my shirts and act like you don’t know anything about it” He added with a small laugh. “I've been in love with you for a long time, and it kills me knowing that you don’t feel the same way"

‘I wanna be your lover.’

‘Baby, I'll hold my breath’

Dean never had a way with words, he sucked ass at the ‘cheesy chick flick’ stuff. That melodrama was never in his books but yet his words came so effortlessly, it flowed fluidly past his lips as he talked about all the things he admired and respected about her. The way it spewed from him, shocked even the man himself but it just came so naturally. It was like something out of a rom-com, he never knew he had it in him.

‘You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear’

‘So tell me that you love me again (tell me that you love me)’

Still holding onto her left hand in his, he reached up with his free hand up to cup her face, his thumb rubbing soft slow circles on her jawline.

His heart thundered in his chest as he looked down into her (e/c) eyes, searching them, watching for any sign of disgust. Expecting another rejection. His eyes flicked down to her lips, then back up to her eyes, before he spoke again, his voice quiet and vulnerable.

“Say something, please"

She sobbed at his confession, it felt too good to be true. Too surreal for her. Still in disbelief at how those words flowed past his tongue. Guilt from Dean sacrificing himself mixing with the guilt over the fact that he believed she didn’t love him back.

She didn’t know how to respond, she couldn’t top that but she knew how to show it. Without speaking, she snaked her arms around his neck, pulling him in, finally connecting his lips with hers in a passionate rough, starved kiss.

‘Again, babe, again’

‘You don't know what you got 'til it's gone, my dear’

‘So tell me that you love me again’

As their lips met, a wave of electricity shot through both their bodies. Dean reciprocated the kiss almost instantly after the initial shock wore off. He let go of her chin, wrapping his arms around her waist, pulling her close against him as he kissed her back with all the pent-up desire and love he had been holding in for years. Her fingers threaded into his short-cropped ivy-league at the back of his neck, and he deepened the kiss, hungry for more of her.

Y/N melted into his embrace while Dean held her tightly against him as they continued to kiss each other like starved animals. The world around them faded away, leaving only the warmth of her body, the taste of her lips, and the overwhelming emotion coursing through him.

It was real this time. It wasn’t some venom-hopped fantasy dream world. This was real, as real as can be.

Son of a fucking Bitch, I’m kissing Y/N!

Jesus fucking Christ, I’m kissing Dean!

Y/N moaned lightly into the kiss, unable to hold back her desire. Her moan sent shivers down his spine, fueling his desire to claim his territory. His hands roamed over her body, caressing her curves, her imperfect, in her eyes, yet so deliciously perfect, in his eyes, body. Pulling her as close as physically possible. He nipped at her lower lip, gently biting and sucking on it as he explored the sweetness of her mouth with his tongue.

Eventually, Y/N broke the kiss, resting her forehead against his, their breaths mingling in the chilly air. Dean couldn't help but smile, feeling a sense of relief and happiness wash over him, finally being able to express the love he's been holding onto for so long. “At risk of sounding like those cheesy rom-coms you love. You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do this” Dean murmured, his voice low and rough with a bit of muse.

Y/N chuckled breathlessly at his untimely humor. “I love you too. I’ve always loved you, you big sap” She breathed out, her voice slightly above a whisper, finally returning his words. Meaning every bit of it.

Hearing her say those words sent a wave of emotion through Dean’s body. His heart swelled with joy. He pulled back slightly to look at her, his eyes searching hers. "You... you really mean that?" Dean asked, still trying to wrap his head around the fact that she reciprocated his feelings.

Y/N smiled, shaking her head. Her heart beating out of her chest. “Well I don’t kiss someone like that and not mean it” She sniffled back a chuckle. Dean let out a breathless laugh, a genuine smile spreading across his face. "Fair point," He admitted, chuckling, his voice full of affection.

Y/N smiled softly, her eyes glazing over with tears of happiness. "Of course, I mean it, charming," she replied, her hand caressing his cheek. "I've loved you for as long as I can remember. I love you, Dean Winchester, with every fiber of my being."

Those words sent a shiver through his entire being. His heart skipped a beat before thudding loudly in his chest. A wave of love, happiness, and disbelief washed over him. Dean was shocked. Never in his wildest dreams would he have imagined that she'd feel the same way about him. But here she was, standing in front of him, telling him she loved him as much as he loved her.

"Y/N-" Dean stuttered, his voice thick with emotion. He shook his head slightly, trying to find the words. But before he could speak, she interrupted him with a kiss.

Capturing his lips in another quick, soft kiss before he broke away to brush a strand of hair from her face as their foreheads pressed together. "And here I was thinking you rejected me that day I tried to talk to you about…well…when we almost did this" He sniffled.

“I was here thinking you just wanted to hook up or something. Thinking that you’d never love me the way I love you. How could you possibly think that, charming?” She whispered back. Tears brimming in her eyes again. Seeing the tears well in her eyes, Dean's heart clenched in his chest. He gently wiped away a stray tear with his thumb, his expression softening.

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” She croaked painfully. "Because I was afraid," He admitted, ashamed, his voice quieter now. "Afraid that if I confessed my feelings, I'd lose you. Afraid that you wouldn't feel the same way, that I'd ruin the friendship we've built over the years. Just like you said"

She shook her head, “Even if I didn’t feel the same way- Which I do, by the way. You’d never lose me, like I said” She assured him softly. She chuckled lightly at the irony, “God, we really are like a bad romance novel” Y/N shook her head, at how much of a cliche this all has been. Dean felt a weight lift off his shoulders as she spoke, her reassurance easing some of the doubts that had plagued him for so long.

Laughing along with her, "I should've known better," He said, his hand moving to cup her cheek. "You're too stubborn to get rid of that easily." He tried to joke, a grin tugging at the corner of his lips. Y/N chuckled lightly, “You’re darn tootin’, Winchester. You ain’t getting rid of me now or ever” She smiled, laying a kiss on his lips.

Meanwhile all of this is unfolding, Bobby and Sam sat front row as they peered through the creased curtains at his windows in the house, watching intently as the scene between Dean and Y/N played out in the yard.

Words were being tossed back and forth between the two until Dean finally took his hand into hers. The nosey hunters stood in tense silence as Dean spoke softly to her until Y/N finally snatched Dean by his face and took his lips onto hers.

Bobby wore a satisfied grin and a proud smirk. Sam and Bobby shared a wordless high-five, their eyes still trained out the window at the angsty couple.

"Well, I’ll be damned. It's about fucking time," he grumbled, shaking his head. "Those idjits finally figured it out."

Sam chuckled with a scoff, a mix of disbelief and amusement on his face, "I can't believe it," he whispered. "Looks like they finally got their heads out their asses. It only took them a decade or two." Sam chuckled, a grin plastered across his face.

“You think they were watching us?” Y/N chuckled, referring to Sam and Bobby. Dean's face still between the palms of her hand, his light stubble pricking lightly on her soft hands. His own residing on her hips, Dean chuckled along with her, their eyes drifting towards the window where Sam and Bobby stood, their eyes widened, quickly closing the curtain, attempting to act like they weren't peeping.

And slightly sheepish grew on his face. "Knowing those two, they probably saw the whole thing," He said, shaking his head. "Sam's probably ecstatic that I finally grew a pair and told you how I feel.” Dean commented warning a laugh from her, “Yeah, he probably is thinking the same with me” She chuckled, throwing her head back.

His thumbs traced small circles on her hip, she tugged at her bottom lip slightly as he did this. Seeing that movement, his eyes couldn't help but be drawn to her mouth. "You know," He said, his voice lowered. “That was so much hotter than last time” Dean teased, referring to their first kiss as kids. (See ‘First Kiss?’ in the prequel to understand).

Y/N’s mouth fell agape, her cheeks flushed red. “I was hoping you didn’t remember that!” She cackled, throwing her head back. “How could I ever forget it?” He said in a gentle tone, running his thumb along her bottom lip.

Her eyes softened at this until he added, “You were terrible” amusement coated his tone, earning a smack from his girl. He roared a laugh in response, “I was seven! And you were a nervous wreck. It was either I do it or we would’ve sat behind that car all day” She defended with mock annoyance. “I know, Princess. I’m kidding” He chuckled, attaching his lips to her in a soft gentle kiss.

His hands slowly traveled down, slipping into her back pockets, gripping her ass, giving it a soft, yet firm squeeze as their lips moved in sync. A gasp brushed past her lips and onto his. "But there's more I want to do … but only if you’re comfortable with that" He leaned forward, nipping at her neck.

She let out yet another soft gasp, her head tilting slightly to give him better access to her neck. He took advantage of that, continuing to kiss and nibble at her skin, his hands still holding her in place. Her breath hitched at his words and actions, feeling Dean’s soft lips on her neck. A shiver ran down her spine as I continued to nip and kiss her sensitive skin.

"Oh yeah?" She breathed out, her voice wavering slightly. "And what else do you want to do?" He smirked against her skin, his lips hovering over her pulse point. "You really want me to spell it out for you?" Dean whispered, his tongue tracing the length of her jaw. His hands still firmly planted against her ass, giving her another firmer squeeze.

A mischievous yet seductive smile tugged at Y/N’s lips as a straggled moan escaped her throat. His grip on her ass, tightened, teasingly palming at them. He could feel his stomach flutter and his jeans tighten at this. She could feel her panties dampen practically through her jeans as he pulled her closer, his firm body pressing against hers. "I’d love for you to spell it out for me" Y/N murmured, her voice dripping with desire.

The way her voice got all sultry made his pulse quicken, his body reacting to her words as his breath got stuck in his throat. This goddamn woman will eat him alive and he’s counting on it. "Why don’t we start with this, princess?" His voice dropped an octave and with that, he crashed his lips against hers in a deep, passionate kiss. His tongue slipped into her mouth, exploring and tasting her thoroughly.

The nickname ‘princess’ always had a way of making her weak in her knees, especially today. Her body melted against his as their lips moved against each others in a slow, sloppy kiss. His tongue swirled around hers fighting for dominance, tasting her sweetness and exploring her mouth.

She tasted like a mix of tobacco and a hint of a mint from the menthols she smoked. Damn, she tasted like a heavenly-sin and all he wanted was to be even more damned than he already was.

Her knees buckled slightly as he deepened the kiss, wrapping his arms tighter around her waist to hold her up.

He backed up against the Impala’s hood now, pinning her between his body and the car. He continued to kiss her hungrily, his hands roaming over her body. One hand moved up to tangle in her hair, holding her head in place, while the other slid down to her ass, giving it another firm squeeze.

Dean’s hand slid from her ass to her thigh when she lifted her left leg besides his right hip, wrapping it around his waist. The moan that escaped Dean’s mouth was utterly desperate, craving more of the goddess in his arms.

His moan of desperation turned Y/N’s mind to mush. Her stomach fluttered with need. His arousal pressed against her jean clad mound that she was pretty certain was soaked through, earning a tiny wince from her.

"Darlin'," He breathed against her lips, breaking the kiss for just a moment. "As much as I want to take you right here, on the spot, I don't think Sam and Bobby will appreciate it."

Their lips parted as he spoke, his words sending a wave of heat through her body. Despite the desire coursing through her veins, she couldn't help but chuckle at his remark. "Fair point," she conceded, her hands still wandering along his broad shoulders as she lowered her leg back onto the ground.

"And I would like for our first time to be somewhere a little more decent, I'd rather not have them hear me screaming your name." She smirked.

At her words, a low growl escaped his throat, a wolfish grin tugged at the corner of his lips. "Trust me, princess," He replied, his voice thick with desire. "When we do have our first time, I don’t care who hears your screams of pleasure. I want them to know you’re all mine."

Her eyes darkened at his words, the fire in them mirrored the burning need in his. "Is that a promise, Winchester?" She challenged, arching an eyebrow. He leaned in close, their lips just a breath apart, "It’s a damn guarantee, L/N" He retorted, his voice dripping with lust.

"Now, unless you want my hands and mouth all over you right here, I suggest we go inside before I forget that Sam and Bobby are waiting for us." He takes his hands onto hers, finally letting go. “Why don’t we head on over to my safehouse? It’s not far from here if you remember, we can take Sam with us” She suggests.

He took a moment to compose himself, his body still thrumming with arousal. He nodded in agreement, his mind going over her suggestion. He turned away from her to fix his jeans, sticking his hand inside to tuck his arousal away, earning an amused snort from his girlfriend.

"Sure thing, darlin'. Let's just grab the sasquatch and head on over.” He leaned in to plant a quick kiss on her forehead before reluctantly pulling away and heading back towards the house, his fingers intertwined with hers.

_______________________________________________

Authors Note: And with that, we have come to the end of yet another season🥰 DO YOU GUYS LOVE ME AGAIN?! (pun intended LMAO) I hope you all enjoyedddd. I cant wait to hear your lovely thoughts and I’m actually shook rn, I can’t believe it finally happened. Currently in tears😭❤️

Be sure to lmk what you loved and what you hated!

Taglist: @hjgdhghoe @rach5ive @tiggytaylor @star-yawnznn @quarterhorse19

@deangirl96 @bitchykittenconnoisseur @globetrotter28 @hobby27 @mrsjjkwinchester

@juwu-theliciosa @magiccliopleurodon @nesnejwritings @karrah89 @whattheduckisupkyle

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@hey-its-zoe @modiddys-blog @thvxr @tommysaxes @cookiemonstermusic258 @elite4cekalyma

@ladykitana90

Xoxo

#dean winchester #supernatural #sam winchester #dean and sam #sam and dean #spn #supernatural fandom #dean winchester x reader #dean winchester fanfiction #dean winchester x you #Spotify

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imyourbratzdoll · 8 months ago

Text

𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂𝒍𝒍 𝒍𝒊𝒆𝒔, 𝒅𝒂𝒓𝒍𝒊𝒏𝒈

part 3 of 🌧️welcome to hell🌧️

summary - as the betrayal continues, you slip through memories that you had unknowingly locked away, finally seeing the lies.

warning - cheating, angst, bad thoughts, swearing, self-hate.

the gif I use isn't mine, headers by me.

part 1 - part 2 - part 4

Warnings and Reminders - Please do not plagiarise, copy, repost/republish, adapt, or translate any of my work on any social media platforms, apps, or third-party sites. The only platforms I post my work on are: Tumblr and Wattpad. I do not own any character of any franchise (Marvel etc.) All my works are fiction and may be dark or triggering content: READ ALL WARNINGS BEFORE PROCEEDING.

You finally make your way to your bedroom, each step dragging with dread. You could feel the end approaching, but you didn’t know how it would go. You walk in and see him already on his side, you sigh softly before crawling into the bed. You felt your skin crawl with him so close, you felt like you needed to bathe in bleach or boiling hot water or even both to stop feeling so dirty. You turned on your side, not being able to fall asleep as your mind is flooded with thoughts and memories.

Ten minutes pass and you feel Johnny move before he slides out of bed and tiptoes to the bedroom door. Your eyes slip shut when he turns his head to check if you are asleep. The moment he walks out, and the door closes gently behind him, a tear slips from your eyes.

The house had been quiet, but the moment your husband entered the guest bedroom next to yours. The silence had been replaced, first with their voices. They were muffled, but you could still hear them through the wall, your heart was pounding in your chest as their voices turned into moans. You felt as though someone had reached into your chest, grabbed your heart and started squeezing and twisting. You imagined the person doing it was a demonic version of Johnny, he stood before you, his hand in your chest, claws digging into your frantic heart. His eyes black, an evil swirled inside of them, and a large sadistic grin appeared, a row of sharp teeth shown.

The truth was… You’d rather deal with a demon than what was happening in the other room.

Your eyes slip closed as tears continue to fall and as you are trying to block out the sounds coming from the guest room. You are pulled into a memory…

Your body collides into something, and your eyes squeeze shut as you are expecting to fall from the force of impact. You feel someone wrap their arms around you and your eyes shoot open, you are met with the prettiest blue eyes you have ever seen. Your mouth opens and closes, cheeks heating up when you realise you’ve been staring for too long at the hot stranger.

He smiles down at you, and you feel like you’re dreaming. “You better watch your step, Baby girl. You nearly fell for me.” His smile shifted into a smirk, you were the prey to the predator, the toy to a manwhore. Your heart fluttered.

Your lashes fluttered as you blinked before you realised you were still in the man’s arms. You gently pull away and look down at your feet, your bottom lip between your teeth as you suddenly feel shy and ridiculous. “I’m so sorry.” Your hands smooth out the dress you are wearing before you pause as a hand comes up and tucks a loose strand of hair behind your ear. Your eyes shoot up and connect with his pretty blue ones.

“Nothing to be sorry about, Baby. You got a name, beautiful?” You nod. He chuckles, “Not gonna share it?”

Your mouth opens and your face heats up again. “Oh! I’m sorry, it’s Y/n.” You begin to chew your bottom lip, staring at him again.

“Beautiful name for a beautiful woman. Names Johnny.” He smirks again. “What do you say we get outta here, Baby girl?” And like that, your interest in him crashed and burned.

You shook your head. “It was nice to meet you, Johnny.” You give him a small smile before you walk away. Unknowingly leaving the playboy shocked behind you.

You had chosen a path that you didn’t know had been set out for you that day. Fate had created two, and if you had moved to the left a little bit two seconds before bumping into Johnny. You would’ve bumped into your other path. The path you were meant to take.

That was the first time you had met each other, but it seemed the universe or fate wasn’t done with either of you just yet. The memory switched…

You were sitting in a small cafe, your laptop opened in front of you as a hot coffee sat beside it. Your brows were furrowed as you stared at the screen, not noticing the hot not so stranger walk in. Johnny looks around with a cocky look, trying to find someone he could take home when his eyes landed on you and his expression morphed into one of shock.

You were the one that got away, a challenge. Johnny was rarely turned down, anyone and everyone wanted him. So why didn’t you?

It seemed from the beginning you were always just a challenge for him to pursue and when he got you. He must’ve grown bored because once you’ve caught the thing that interested you, sparked something inside, made you curious to figure out. Was it really fun anymore?

Johnny sauntered over, a smirk on his lips. “Hey, Baby girl.” You look up with wide eyes, not expecting to run into him here. It didn’t seem like his style.

“Johnny…”

“It’s good to see you again, beautiful.” He licked his lips as his eyes danced over your body. You shift, your eyes darting between him and your laptop. He must’ve sensed something was wrong because his back straightened. “I’m sorry. I feel like we’ve come off on the wrong foot.” He did a spin, facing you with a playful smile. “Hi, I’m Johnny. It’s nice to meet you!”

You didn’t mean to, but a giggle slipped out. A giggle? You haven’t done that since you were a teenager and your crush spoke to you. Your lashes flutter as you look into his eyes, a smile making an appearance on your face. Your hand slips into his extended one, shaking it gently. “Hi, I’m Y/n.”

After your second meeting, things seemed to hit off from there. You exchanged numbers and kept in touch, after speaking on the phone for two weeks. Johnny had asked you on a date. Your memory switched to when your relationship turned romantic…

You were extremely nervous, why was Johnny bothering with you? You knew what kind of guy he was. So, was this a play to get into your pants? You stared at yourself in the mirror, your lip had become puffy and red from how much you had been chewing on it. Your eyes scan your outfit, trying to spot a problem. You wore a slightly larger size, dark grey wool jumper with a black skirt.

Johnny was taking you to a carnival and you didn’t want to overdress, but you also didn’t want to look horrible. So you went with a simple option, but you didn’t know if this was a good decision in the first place. Your brows furrowed, he had been nice. But what did he want with you?

You shake your head of your thoughts before grabbing a clip to clip your hair back, only leaving a few strands out to frame your face. You then walk into your bathroom and apply some mascara and gloss, having to take some deep breaths as you feel so anxious. You couldn’t shake these nerves, somewhere deep inside. You felt like this was wrong.

A knock at the door brings you out of it and you walk over with a smile you had practiced so many times in the mirror, wanting, needing to look perfect. You didn’t want everyone else to see the flaws you saw.

Your biggest fear was that eventually he would see you the way you saw yourself.

He had looked hot that night, like he always did. You never knew what he saw in you. You remembered his reaction when you opened the door.

Your body buzzes with nerves as you open the door, your eyes land on Johnny who looks away from something when he hears the door opening. His eyes landed on you, and they sparkled, scanning you from head to toe. “Wow… You look beautiful.” He licked his lips. He calls you beautiful like it’s your name, but why did it feel like a lie? “You ready to go?” You nod, following him out.

As you relive the memory, you realise so many signs you had missed. You should have seen it coming. The signs were flashing brightly in front of your face, but you were too blind to see. Everything flashes before your eyes so quickly, the night of your first date. He was looking at your new neighbour who had just moved in down the hall, she had just come home from work at the diner and caught his eye. You didn’t know that after your date when you wouldn’t let him in, that he would then knock on her door and end up in her bed. He didn’t cheat, but he wasn’t completely honest, and you didn’t know which was worse. You remembered the date, things that were once locked away in your mind to protect your heart were now unlocking before your eyes.

He took you to the carnival that you had been dying to go to, but you never had the time or the people to go with. You were so excited, practically bouncing on your feet as the lights caught your eye. Your smile so wide as you walked past the stalls and rides, your hand holding onto Johnny’s, eyes sparkling with happiness.

You were so busy looking around at the games that you missed the looks your date was giving others. From the beginning it seemed he wasn’t really in this for love. Oh god, why were you so blind? You pull him over to a game where you can win a bear, it wasn’t like the movies where the guy would offer to win the prize for you. Johnny just watched as you did it yourself. How did he trick you for so long?

At some point in the date, you began to feel sad. Was he not that into you? You watched him for a bit before looking down at the food he bought, and the roles switched. Johnny watched you and he wondered why you looked so sad. He was good at seducing women into his bed, he wasn’t the greatest at the whole dating thing.

“Do you want to go on the bumper cars? We can team up.” He didn’t know why he felt so nervous when asking, you were just a girl. What could be so scary about that? Johnny watched as your face lit up and you smiled. He liked when you smiled, it made him feel like he did something right. You nod and get up, not bothering to finish the food as you grab his hand and pull him towards the bumper cars.

The date picked up a bit after that, you still missed the looks Johnny gave any pretty woman that looked his way. But he was more attentive, so you were happier. You didn’t feel so unattractive and boring. Toward the end of the date, he took you on the ferris wheel, kissing you at the top. You thought you had felt sparks as your lips touched. But they were only what you had wanted to feel.

You pull out of the memory, tears streaming down your face as you remember that you never actually felt those sparks when your lips met his. Your memories continue to flash through your mind to distract you from the moans that have gotten louder. Johnny knew you were a deep sleeper, you guess that was why they didn’t even try to be quiet. Your second date he had taken you bowling, and you thought that maybe this could work. Then when your third date came around and he took you to a very fancy restaurant, you had a brief thought that maybe he forgot when you mentioned you preferred the simpler things in life. After your third date, Johnny had become more handsy and because of how blind you were, you thought you loved him and ended up in his bed.

You don’t know why you two got married. You had wanted it, the relationship was still thriving… Well, on your side it was. Johnny would be gone sometimes, but you brushed it off because of how sweet the relationship was sometimes.

Your ears ring as your mind blocks out the moans and you are dragged back into another memory, the one where you got your first apartment together.

You held his hand as you both walked into the tenth apartment that week, nothing had caught your eye yet, nothing seemed to call out to you. But this one felt good, it was in your price range and had the things you were looking for. Johnny seemed semi interested, but he had told you to choose what you liked before going back to his phone.

“Johnny, what do you think?” You wanted him to decide as well. You tugged slightly on his hand as you looked up at him, waiting for him to look up from his phone. He hums, removing his eyes from the screen before he looks around and nods, leaning down to place a kiss on your head.

“It’s perfect, Babe.” You smiled, everything in that moment felt perfect. You stared off, this was the beginning of your life. This would be the place where your relationship would blossom. You and Johnny had gotten the apartment that day.

When the day came to finally move your stuff in and get things sorted. You had gotten into a fight.

“Will you just leave me the fuck alone?! God! I need my fucking space!” Johnny screamed, his glare set on you.

“I just wanted to know where you were!” You screamed back, anger dripped from your words. “You knew we had things planned today! Yet, you decide that going out last night was more important! Why the hell are you only coming home now, Johnny?! It’s nine–thirty in the fucking morning!” You had forgotten this fight or more specifically what it was about. You can’t remember why you kept forgetting the bad?

He throws his hand up, “I stayed at a friend’s house! Is that a fucking problem?!”

“Yes. We had times set for when we had to be there, we still have things we need to do.”

“Why couldn’t you just do it? Do you seriously need me for everything? I came fucking apartment hunting with you when I could’ve been out!” Your anger started to rise when he opened his phone, now paying more attention to it than you. Who was he texting all the time?

But sadness began to overweigh the anger with your next words. “...We were supposed to do this together, WE as a couple. Not I or me, I wanted you to have a say as well…” You sigh, shaking your head before you grab your things and walk past him. “I’ll just do it myself… It’s fine.” You gulp, swallowing the tears.

You remember that was your first fight and on the way out of his place, you bumped into someone.

“I’m so sorry!” You quickly say as you shake your head, lifting your hand to quickly wipe away a stray tear that fell.

“I’m so sorry!” The stranger says at the same time, their hands immediately reaching out to steady you as you stumble.

You look up, your eyes connecting to the most beautiful blue eyes you have ever seen. You didn’t know that he thought the same about your eyes and you both stared at each other for a bit, a whole life together flashed before both of your eyes before a throat cleared.

You turn your head and feel your cheeks heat up, there stood a gorgeous redhead and of course this guy had a girlfriend, he was so dreamy… AND you had a boyfriend too! How could you forget that by just looking into his eyes? You clear your throat, stepping back a bit. The woman smirks, her eyes move between you and the man, as if she figured out something before anyone else. “Sorry for interrupting this love at first sight moment, but we gotta go.”

He nods, even though his cheeks turn a pretty pink and you’re sure if you touched yours, they’d be hot. “I’m sorry again for bumping into you, ma’am. Have a nice day.” He leaves with the prettiest smile you have ever seen, he leaves before you can even learn his name…

Now you remember why you forgot the fight… The moment you looked into the strangers eyes, the whole world disappeared and the only thing you could see, feel, smell was him. It felt like everything had connected, like your souls had finally found each other after searching for so long. It all felt like this was what was meant to be but was suddenly pulled away with each step he took as he left. Leaving your souls to search for one another again.

He was your soulmate. You didn’t know it, yet. But you’ll find him in the next life like you had found him in this one.

You were broken out of your trance at the sound of the door opening behind you. You turn around and see Johnny, he seemed in a rush with his face no longer in his phone and keys gripped tightly in his hand. “Thank god! I thought you’d be far by now!” Johnny pulls you into a hug and kisses your head. “I’m sorry, Babe. I should've been here at the time we said.” He pulls back and looks down at you. “Are you ready to go?”

You nod, walking with him but your mind is on someone else, and you feel so god damn guilty. You looked at your boyfriend to try and get the thoughts of someone else out of your head, but to no avail. You didn’t even know the guy’s name. How could he possibly make you feel more than you do with Johnny?

You finally made it to your new apartment, you had called ahead when you realised that you weren’t going to make it at the said time. Thankfully, they had been understanding.

When the two of you entered your new home. It didn’t exactly feel like it just yet, the place was empty except for the boxes filled with your belongings. The furniture you and Johnny had picked out hadn’t arrived, but you guess you could work around that.

As you were in the middle of unpacking some boxes, you noticed Johnny on his phone and frowned, wondering what had him smiling like that. Your question was answered as music filled the room and he placed his phone down before walking over to you with a smile. The empty apartment was now filled with laughter as you both danced around, not caring if the moves were perfect or not. You laugh as you fall into him, and his arms wrap around you. This is why you could push through all the bad, because there was still the good.

Yes, you could see it. Finally, it feels like our life together can start. He leans down, eyes slipping closed as his lips press flush against yours. Still no sparks, but that was okay. Because he was the one you wanted.

Now you remember why you two had married. Because in that moment, the man, Johnny’s disappearances and late nights, the stress of finding a new home and your questions on if he was the one had disappeared. Vanished as he held you in his arms, in your new home as he kissed you. Feeling happier than you had felt for so long.

You lay in bed, with every moan you could feel your heart break over and over again. All the good that once flooded your memories had been replaced with every sound that slipped from that room, no longer filled with love and happiness. You were no longer going to think of your wedding day or any other day that meant something to you, because they were all lies. You had realised too late that your relationship was a joke, Johnny had gotten better with hiding his man whorish ways.

“Fuck, I love you, beautiful.” The words were muffled, but it sounded so loud in your head. Those words seemed to be the final nail in the coffin.

He calls you beautiful like it was your name. It echoed, tore into your heart. Your heart barely tore at the I love you he had announced. That wasn’t the word that hurt the most, no… It was the name he had called you, now uttered against her lips, skin, soul. Etched into her being as though she was the only one, he was seeing. You felt like you could no longer breathe, like you were drowning and there was no way to come up for air. You knew it felt like a lie.

Have you ever felt like you did everything right and it still went all wrong? Like you weren’t living the life you were meant for?

You fell asleep heartbroken and tired. It hurt when you realised you weren’t as important to someone as you thought you were. Sometime late in the night or early morning, you felt Johnny slip into your bed and the feeling made your skin crawl, you felt sick. Your heart clenched in your chest before you finally fell back into a dreamless sleep.

thank you for reading!

feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated.

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