#I guess the tricky thing then would be expanding upon it in a way that people like

[sunshine-and-her-ikevil-stuff]

*thinking about the villains' tragic fates*

You know, their routes never really talk too much about their fates and how it effects them mentally. Or how the MC feels about it, and dealing with the fear and angst of it with the slight exception of William's route

*eyes widen*

... I think I know what the sequels are gonna be about

[endless-bunny]

Pathfinder Iconics Update

I found some more stuff. I guess this isn't an "update", since what it is is just me noticing existing characters in books that I hadn't examined too closely. Today's theme is "Characters with symbols on their foreheads"

Rivani, the Iconic Psychic from PF1, does appear in Dark Archive. Like Alahazra, she's presented as one of the "quick build" Psychics, in this case the "Student of Thoughts". Pictured here opening her third eye. Rivani represents the Vudrani people, whose material culture is inspired by that of the Indian subcontinent. I've always really liked Rivani's outfit. The way the silk and gossamer hang off her as she floats gives her a beautiful weightless quality. Her colours are a bit more subdued in PF2, but she still looks beautiful. My knees always hurt when I see somebody sitting in lotus position.

The "third eye" symbol on her forehead is derived from ajna, the third eye chakra in Hindu tradition. According to Wikipedia, ajna: "signifies the unconscious mind, the direct link to Brahman (ultimate reality). The third eye is said to connect people to their intuition, give them the ability to communicate with the world, or help them receive messages from the past and the future."

The Occult Adventures book which features the Psychic class does feature rules for awakening chakras. In this game it takes several rounds to awaken the successive chakras, and the character also needs a ki pool — a feature of the Monk class, shared by the Ninja and some archetypes. I think this means that Rivani might not be able to do it without multiclassing? Psychics get a pool of phrenic points which is a distinct thing.

From Occult Adventures (p.201)

"Also called the intuitive chakra, this force center governs occult vision, both literal and metaphorical. Once the brow chakra has been opened, the initiate gains the benefits of true seeing for 1 round. Engaging this force center literally opens a shining third eye of psychic energy upon the initiate’s forehead. The mystical eye is easily perceived by anyone looking at the initiate, and persists so long as he maintains the brow chakra. The initiate must be at least 12th level before he can open this chakra."

It could very well be that Rivani hasn't awakened her brow chakra and the glowing symbol is just a manifestation of her psychic power.

Linxia, one of the Iconic Villains from the Hell's Vengeance Adventure Path also appears in Lost Omens: World Guide just a few pages over from Shardra Geltl. Here she's used to illustrate the Hellknight Armiger archetype. Lost Omens: Character Guide would later add expanded options for Hellknight characters, including specific abilities for the Order of the Rack, the torturer faction to which Linxia belongs. The tattoo on her forehead is the symbol of the Order of the Rack.

Her armour got a lot les spiky between editions, although that could just be Wayne's signature over-the-top style being tricky for other artists to emulate faithfully. Her cape lacks the tatters and she's not carrying her plumed helmet but she still has all of the details, just toned down a bit.

[lovebecomeshim]

hello! your zutara posting today has finally motivated me to ask this question because I came to atla very late(last year, to be specific) and I Love It Very Much but am 1000% out of the loop as far as why what remains of fandom (at least that I've seen among my friends) is so very strongly zutara. I'm not opposed to it per se I just don't really know what has driven it to apparently be such a popular ship? can you help me understand and maybe convert me a little bit?

Hey!! Your ICON! :D I can try but I’m not sure how coherent I’ll be; however I AM sure someone a lot more competent will be willing to add to this. Either way, I’m glad you asked because my plan was to drag down as many people as possible with me.

*smacks the hood of zutara* this baby can fit so much mutual love and support!

This got so long, I’m so sorry. I don’t know how to put it under a cut on mobile and it already got deleted once so I’m scared to mess with it lol. Moving on.

I’m gonna start this with a disclaimer that im on mobile so formatting is tricky and I’m also really new to atla in that I only completed my first watch through in like 2019??? So some of my info is all just based on what I’ve picked up from Discourse 👀 so anyway the sparknotes version: zutara was wildly popular from the beginning. To the point where the atla crew internally disagreed on which ship should be endgame. (Ex. Bryke [showrunners] asked the writers to rewrite The Southern Raiders to make Zuko seem less ideal for Katara than Aang [which failed, depending on who you ask]; the animation team purposefully created a visual parrallel between Oma and Shu in the Cave of Two Lovers and Zuko and Katara in the catacombs under Ba Sing Se in the Crossroads of Destiny; etc.)

The ship was popular enough that Bryke actually chose to display zk fanart at a con for the sole purpose of mocking the fans, but that’s neither here nor there. The entire episode Ember Island Players, while a love letter to/parody of the whole show, was an opportunity to address zutara’s viability as a canon pairing (while, again, mocking zutaras for romanticizing that catacombs scene). Point is! It’s always been popular but with it not being endgame, there’s got to be something that’s given it staying power.

And that’s honestly got to do with three things: their dynamic, thematic cohesion, and potential.

(You know what... you know what, it’s four things. The fourth is they’re so aesthetically pleasing together and individually. Like, they’re just good looking people [specifically when they’re grown but they’re also cute kids] and that absolutely doesn’t hurt) (but it’s not the Point, it’s just nice to point out sometimes)

The dynamic is hard to get into without also looking at the canon pairings, but I think I can do that without unnecessary bashing. It’s just that part of the magic of zutara is really highlighted by what they give to each other that their other relationships don’t.

First off, it’s classic enemies to (would be) lovers. The absolute truest form of it. It’s not too different from how CS started out: a rogue antagonist with a job to do—but no personal vendetta against the future love interest—who is deeply and emotionally invested in his personal storyline (revenge/redemption) with little regard for how it effects other people after his entire life and genuine good nature are marred by suffering, and a fierce warrior girl with a strong moral compass and her own personal investment in stopping him (protect her family and save the world doing it). Obviously frustration and animosity grew between them by the nature of them being on opposing sides, but that just lends itself to the sweetness of their later reconciliation.

The thing is that while they’re wildly different on the surface (he’s a hot-headed prince of a fascist regime who is trying to capture the Avatar to please his father; she’s a nurturing daughter of the chief who is trying to protect and train the Avatar in order to topple his father’s throne) they find out that they have so much more in common both in their experiences and their personalities.

(What follows is an excessive use of the word “both” and I’m sorry about that)(I can edit it. I can do that. That IS an option............)

They both have an innate sense of justice that they are determined to see done (zuko, at the war meeting, sticking up for the Earth Kingdom kid when the guards torment his family, choosing not to steal from the pregnant couple despite his circumstances, abiding by his word to leave the SWT should Aang come willingly, etc.; katara, literally.... at any point). They both have pretty one-track minds at accomplishing certain goals once they’ve put their mind to it, regardless of a lack of support in that endeavor (it goes without saying I guess, but zuko’s entire hunt; katara’s determination to get the earth benders to fight back, her determination to absolutely destroy Pakku until he agrees to teach her, etc.). They both lost their mothers at young ages. Their worlds are war-torn and traumatizing to them both, if in different ways, but that ultimately forces them to grow up too quickly to be wholly independent individuals. They both have issues with their fathers (for WILDLY different reasons, but). They both hold extreme prejudices that they need to learn to overcome (which ties into thematic cohesion)(bit like Lizzie and Darcy in that way but magnified by a million). They’re both extremely emotional and empathetic—which can and often does result in loud outbursts. Katara’s a bit better adjusted and can temper her anger for longer than S1 Zuko can, but they both feel that anger deeply and have no compunctions expressing it (Katara is, usually, more justified, particularly in S1. Again, S1 Zuko is severely maladjusted but at the point when they could’ve feasibly become a couple, he’s so much better off with the way he carries himself). They both struggle with feelings of inferiority in their bending abilities when confronted with prodigal benders like Aang and Azula, but have the work ethic required to double down and become two of the most powerful benders in the three remaining nations. This is a little more minor but it is a parrallel that appeals to some shippers that they both have these alter egos in the Painted Lady (notably fire nation coded) and the Blue Spirit (water tribe coded) that are pretty different from who they are day-to-day and are useful in accomplishing a purpose that they as themselves cannot.

(I’m.... I just realized that this could potentially get very long. Should I have made a slide show with bullet points??????)

Anyway, similar. I know there’s more but there’s literally so much to love about zutara that I’ll drive myself a little crazy trying to compile all the ways they’re similar. (Just gonna say that at this exact moment I went back to add more similarities.... so okay then)

Once they’ve reconciled, we see how all of these things only lend themselves to a deeper intimacy together than they share with literally anyone else. There’s a steady partnership that positions them as the mom/dad of the gaang, while also providing the support necessary to allow the other to not have to carry so much responsibility. A lot of zutaras will point out how zuko is actually depicted doing the more domestic chores that are normally relegated to Katara once he joins the gaang, since the others in the group are two 12-year-olds and sokka. The one that sticks out the most is how he makes tea for the group and then serves them, while Katara is able to just relax with her friends around the fire. Fanon expands upon this a lot to Zuko helping with the laundry or the cooking or whatever else needs doing since he, as a once-refugee, is used to doing his own domestic tasks. Before Zuko joined, Katara was the one mothering everyone, sewing for them, cooking for them, etc. She’s always tending to the needs of the group, and that includes emotionally. She does the emotional labor for the gaang 99% of the time, but when she’s the one falling apart, she’s usually doing it alone and without the comfort that she normally provides for others. Until Zuko. And that’s before they’re even friends.

Which is WHY people romanticize the catacombs of Ba Sing Se so much. Katara is verbally attacking Zuko out of her own righteous anger but also her own prejudice when Zuko, surprisingly, chooses to be vulnerable with her. He’s been on a journey that’s opened his eyes a bit, but he’s never actively chosen to expose the rawest parts of his past to anyone. But for some reason he chooses to do that with Katara of all people. While she’s yelling at him. He sees her humanity, and for once can look past his prejudice and empathize with her. And this time, when she breaks down, she gets to be comforted. Katara normally talks about her mother when she’s trying to explain to someone else that she sees and understands they’re pain, as a form of comfort to them. Here, Zuko uses the exact same tactic. He sees her and he understands. And for zuko? He’s not being shut down. He’s allowed to articulate his pain regarding his mother without being ignored and made to internalize it, and he’s allowed to process how he feels about his scar out loud without being told that he deserved it. And then he lets her touch his scar, something we’ve seen him actively avoid before. He’s completely open to her and she’s completely open to him and all it took was one five minute conversation. She was about to use the little bit of Spirit water that she had, that she was saving for something Important, to heal the scar that still daily causes him pain just because they had, somehow, connected.

Plus there’s the whole parallel to the star-crossed lovers forbidden from one another, a war divides their people—

And then zuko messes up, he regresses, he gets what he wants and he HATES it. And the sense of justice he had as a child has been restored to him against his will and he can’t think of anything he wants to do more than the Right Thing, so he joins team avatar. Before he does that though, we get to see his relationship with Mai, which is where comparison really comes in. And what we see is Zuko, fresh off of his encounter with Katara in the catacombs, trying to be emotionally honest with Mai... and getting shut down and dismissed. Which is just how Mai is and it’s fine, but not for Zuko. Still, he keeps trying, and he keeps getting ignored or scoffed at or yelled at. Which is really a larger symbol for how he doesn’t fit in his old life anymore, but again that’s about thematic cohesion. He tries to articulate his anxieties about returning home, he tries to make romantic gestures, he tries to explain how morally conflicted he’s feeling—and Mai diverts to some kind of physical affection to shut him up and a parting comment that is pretty much always, in essence, “I don’t wanna talk about this.” So they don’t. On the other hand, once zuko and Katara are friends, we see him again emotionally distraught and caught up in his anxieties about facing Iroh, and it’s Katara who comes to him and listens to him and comforts and encourages him.

Similarly, we have Aang clamming up and getting uncomfortable whenever Katara shows any negative emotion, usually resulting in him making excuses or running away. Or, in the case of the Southern Raiders, lecturing her on how she needs to just let go of her anger about her mother’s murder. People have talked this episode to death and usually better than I ever could, so imma... keep it brief. There’s a serious disconnect between Aang and Katara in his ability to empathize with Katara and her needs that has her tamping down her vulnerability and amping up her anger. He tells her that he was able to forgive his people’s genocide and appa’s kidnapping (petnapping? Theft??), which is blatantly not true but also not an entirely equal parrallel to Katara’s situation, and continues making these little remarks throughout the episode. But it’s Zuko that Katara opens up to. It’s with him that she’s able to talk about the most traumatic day of her life, and it’s with him that she’s able to get the closure she needs, cementing their bond as friends and partners. This disagreement between Aang and Katara is then... never resolved. They just never bring it up and hear what the other is saying.

There’s a fic called The Portraits of Ember Island that has a line that so completely sums up the heart of the matter for why people love their dynamic. For context, zuko has woken up early to help Katara with the cooking and they spend the whole time just letting one another talk, and zuko stops to ask why she always just lets him talk. And so she stops to ask why he’s always helping, and it goes as follows:

There’s just... so much mutual support! Trust! Intimacy!! And it just continues like that from the Southern Raiders on, listening to each other, advising each other, watching each other’s backs! And then! Literally saving each other’s lives!! I will never be over the last Agni kai. Not ever. Zuko may have been willing to jump in front of lightning for anyone, but he actually did it for Katara. And in a show, that’s the thing that really matters. It’s a fulfilled trope usually exclusively applied to romantic pairings, and it ended up applying to Zuko and Katara. And then she ran out into the middle of a fight with tunnel vision just to get to him.

Also!! Also Zuko pushing Katara out of the way of the falling rocks at the Western Air Temple!! And Katara catching him as he fell from the war balloon that he fought Azula on!! Before they’re even getting along, they’re the ones reaching for each other. They come to this place of equal ground, as partners, who watch each other’s backs, call each other out but still listen attentively and understand, and provide the support that the other has been sorely lacking up until they knew each other (whether that be from lack of effort or lack of understanding from others, or an unwillingness to accept it for themselves).

Then, trailing along under the surface of this, we see the themes of the show totally embodied by Zuko and Katara as individuals and in their relationship to one another. There’s a YouTuber, sneezyreviews, who has a, like, 2-hour explanation on why she not only loves zutara but also believes that their endgame would’ve actually elevated the writing of atla to new levels particularly because of thematic cohesion and resolved character arcs. It’s the zutara dissertation I never knew I needed, and it’s funny and eloquent and effective, so I’m just going to sum up her section on thematic cohesion to the best of my abilities and then link it for whenever you have the time. And I HIGHLY recommend it, especially if you want a full understanding of what makes zutara so great and gives it such longevity.

Guru pathik has a line that goes something like this: separation is an illusion; things that seem different are just two parts of the same whole. Iroh also tells Zuko something similar: balance and strength are achieved when the different nations come together and influence one another and celebrate what makes them each unique. And this lesson is a massive central arc that both Zuko and Katara go through, moving past a black-and-white, good guys-vs-bad guys, us-vs-them mentality and into a greyer, more nuanced view of the world. Zuko sees the fire nation from an entirely new perspective and while he still loves and hopes for his nations future, he surrenders his blind loyalty to them in exchange for an unflinching loyalty to peace and love. Katara too had to come to terms with the fact that cruel people exist in the earth kingdom and water tribes, while some fire nation citizens are just regular, kind people who also need and deserve to have someone speak on their behalf. And this is honed in directly on how they view each other. They grow in their individual journeys to be open to the humanity in the other and then, once they’ve found that, they’re able to grow more in compassion for others in a beautiful feedback loop. And this is all matched in the symbolism repeatedly and intentionally associated with them in canon: sun and moon, fire and water, yin and yang, Oma and Shu who found love despite their warring nations. Their individual arcs are completed in each other and complement the themes of atla beautifully.

The canon pairs... just don’t. Which, again, is fine. But the very things that give atla longevity and popularity are anchored in zutara. Kat@ang doesn’t accomplish this. They’re... nice. Sweet. Especially when you erase a good portion of their interactions in S3. It could’ve been just a sweet love story. (Personally, the dynamic between toph and aang accomplish the same thing that zutara does, with complementary personalities that fulfill the theme of opposites blending in harmony) M@iko, on the other hand, is less sweet but I think wasn’t even supposed to last. Zuko’s relationship with Mai seems to represent his relationship with his old life as a whole. He can’t be emotionally vulnerable, he’s goaded into abusing his privileges, his agency and opinions aren’t respected. They just don’t have common ground with which to discuss anything that matters, so they don’t. As far as themes, the relationship doesn’t fit with atla. It’s zuko returning to and sticking with what is (on the surface) like him, what’s expected. Fire nation with fire nation. Fluid water bender with the flexible air bender. Like with like, separated from what is different and challenging and complementary.

And all of these things combined of course lead to the potential for the ship. I don’t know how familiar you are with the post-atla canon but... well, miss “I will never turn my back on people who need me”, miss “I don’t want to heal! I want to fight!” ends up living quietly in the SWT as a designated healer who turns a blind eye to the water tribe civil war happening right outside her front door. Which can be fine! People change! Some people just wanna stay inside. I just wanna stay inside! But the potential future for zutara is so much more satisfying, with Katara becoming the most unconventional Fire Lady the uppity old cads who are stuck on the old ways have ever seen. Fanon has her serving as a voice for the other nations within a kingdom at the point of its biggest political upheaval, as a confidante to Zuko who can actually help him while he’s trying to figure out how to move forward and make reparations. They have the opportunity, together, to accomplish what they both have set on their hearts to fight for: positive change that lends itself to harmony and balance. And the steambabies! A popular headcanon is that their firstborn daughter, the crown princess, is actually a waterbender, which causes such an uproar among the people who are adamantly clinging to the old ways. It’s just a future full of potential to be forces for good together, full of trust, intimacy, joy. The exact era of peace and love and balance that zuko announces that he intends to ring in with the start of his reign as Fire Lord is, again, magnified by the very personal zutara relationship. And we love to see it.

tl;dr zutara isn’t for everyone. Some people just don’t vibe with it. Some are nostalgic. Some love the canon they grew up with. Some have been disappointed for years. Some just see themselves in other characters and want their happiness instead. Whatever the reason, that’s fine. But for me, I love the way these two, from the moment they give each other a fair chance, are able to lower their walls and prejudices to see the other for the kindred spirits they are. They see each other’s humanity, and their response is to pour out love and support and compassion. I love that they’re a power couple in battle. I love the symbolism and, honestly, soulmatism that colors their every interaction. I love that they embody the whole storyline of atla in their relationship and how it develops, which is notably why their seasonal arcs always culminate in each finale with how they relate to one another. I love that zuko adopting a waterbending move is what actually saves his life and then katara’s. I love the chemistry! And I love the future they could’ve had, instead of the ones they were given.

So, in conclusion: I just think they’re neat and I hope you do too, at least a little bit. Even if it’s just respectfully from a disinterested distance cause you do you. And now here is the video I mentioned. I’m sorry this post got so long and then I gave you an even longer homework assignment, but I can’t recommend it enough. She says it all better than I can.

[hellzabeth]

i have opinions about The Prince of Egypt musical adaption and you’re going to listen to them: An Essay

So, quick disclaimer: The Prince of Egypt is one of my favourite movies of all time. The casting, the music, the animation, I think it’s one of the top-tier movies that have ever been made. I went into seeing the London West End production of PoE with a full expectation that nothing I saw on stage would ever live up to how much I love the movie. I was fully aware there are plenty of limitations to what can be shown live on a stage with human actors and props.

That being said, I was enormously disappointed with how the whole thing was handled.

The Good

Now before I launch into a whole tirade of what I didn’t like about the production, it does behoove me to say what I think they did do well. 


The casting of the role of Moses was done fantastically, as was Miriam, Tzipporah, and Yocheved. The swings and the ensemble were really engaged and well placed, going through lots of quick changes to go from Hebrews to Egyptians to Midianites and back.


The two Egyptian queens, wifes of Seti and Ramses, are actually given names, lines, and character beyond being simply tacked onto their respective kings. We get to see how they feel about the events happening around them, and there’s even a scene where Ramses meets his wife and courts her, whereas in the movie, she stands in the background and says nothing. This is one of the areas I was hoping the musical, which would naturally have a longer run-time, would expand on, and I was pleased to see the opportunity was taken.

Light projections on enormous curtains were used to very good effect, taking us instantly inside the walls of the palace and then out to the desert. 


Over all, the work was really put in to be engaging and emotional, and the orchestra really worked to deliver the right musical beats.


One of two stand out scenes as being done very well was the opening “Deliver Us”, which included a bone-chilling moment of Egyptians separating a mother and her baby, with her screams as she’s dragged off-stage, and the blood on the guard’s sword. It really brings home the fear as Yocheved tries to lead Aaron and Miriam to the river with her, not to mention Yocheved’s actress nailed the lullaby. 


The second was at the other end of the show, “When You Believe” was beautifully performed by the whole cast, though it was somewhat stunted by what came before...

The Bad

Oh boy.

So the main problem with this show is not the music, not the staging, not even that sometimes the ensemble was a little off-beat (the lai-lai-lai section in Though Heaven’s Eyes comes to mind). Any mistakes there can all be forgiven, since sometimes things just happen in live performance, someone’s a bit off or something’s just not possible to do on the budget allotted. 


The problem is in the script.

The Prince of Egypt movie is a story that stands not only on the shoulders of its fantastic music and visuals, but also on its emotive retelling and portrayal of the characters within - mainly Moses and Ramses. And while the stage musical does spend a lot of time with the two mains, it neglects two other, incredibly important characters.

Pharaoh Seti, and God. 


In the movie, Seti strikes an intimidating figure. He is old, hardened, and wise in the ways of ruling his kingdom - and is voiced by Patrick Stewart, who brings his A-game to the role. Both Moses and Ramses admire him and look up to him immensely as young men, and the relationship he has with both of them deeply informs their characters as the story progresses. It’s from Seti that Moses learns that taking responsibility for your actions is the respectable thing to do (and later, the true horror of having your idol turn out to be not what you think), and it’s from Seti that Ramses takes a huge inferiority complex.

There are two lines that Seti gets in the movie, one spoken to Moses, and one to Ramses. These two lines define Moses and Ramses’ actions later on in the story:

To Ramses - “One weak link can break the chain of a mighty dynasty!” To Moses - “Oh my son... they were only slaves.”

Guess which two lines are absent from the musical?

One Weak Link is turned into an upbeat song, rather than shouted at a terrified and cowed young Ramses. Instead of being openly a traumatic, internalised moment of negative character development for Ramses, it’s treated as a general philosophy that Seti passes down to his son. Instead of a judgement that is hung over Ramses’ head like a sword of Damocles, lingering in his mind through the whole story and coming up in a shouted argument with Moses later, it’s said and then moved on from. 


The “they were only slaves” comment, on the other hand, is absent entirely. This changes Moses’ relationship with Seti enormously, as well as his relationship with the Hebrew people. Upon finding the mural depicting the killing of the slave children, Moses is appropriately horrified, and Seti shows up to comfort him and defend his terrible actions. Moses leaves this interaction... and then sings about how this is indeed all he ever wanted! He has no moment of horrific realisation that his father thinks of the slaves as lesser, as lives that can be thrown away. This means that the scene where he kills the guard doesn’t lead into a discussion of morality with Ramses as he runs away, but rather Moses breaking down about his heritage as though it’s a negative, instead of something he’s realised is just as valuable as his life as an Egyptian. Instead of Moses being shown as having a strong moral core that protests against the idea of any life being lesser, he bemoans his Hebrew blood loudly, and makes little mention of the man he killed. His issue that causes him to run away is being adopted, rather than his guilt that he’s a murderer, and nothing Ramses can say will change it.

Later on, we don’t see Ramses express this opinion either (in the movie - M:”Seti’s hands bore the blood of thousands of children!” R:“Hah, slaves!” M:“My people!”) so it seems the core reasoning for the necessity of the extremes God had to go to in order to convince Ramses to let the Hebrews go is completely gone.

Which leads us into God Himself, as a character. 


God is a tricky topic in general. He is hard to talk about as a concept and as a character, and even harder to depict in a way that won’t offend someone. The Prince of Egypt movie always struck me as a very good depiction of the Old Testament God - vengeful and strong-willed, commanding and yet nurturing, capable of great mercy and great cruelty in one fell swoop. God is incredibly present in the story, a character in and of Himself, speaking with Moses rather than simply commanding him. The conversation at the Burning Bush is bone-chillingly beautiful. Moses is allowed to question, he’s allowed to enquire, he’s allowed to express how he feels about God’s choice, and God is given the chance to respond (and reprimand, and comfort).

In the musical, the Burning Bush scene lasts all of two minutes, during which God (the ensemble cast, acting as one moving flame, speaking in unison) monologues to Moses, and Moses is not given room to question, talk to, or build a relationship with God. Later on, once some of the plagues have gotten underway, Moses rails against God, flinches in his resolve, and tries to back out... and God says nothing. It’s Miriam and the spirit of Yocheved that convince Moses to keep going. As a character, God is nearly absent. Even when it comes to calling upon the Plagues, or parting the Red Sea, God’s voice is absent. Moses does not pray. He does not even use the staff that God encouraged him to pick up as a symbol of his becoming a shepherd of the Hebrews out of Egypt. 


It’s these little changes, these little absences of such vital lines and presences, that ends up changing the whole vibe of the show. Seti is more like a dad than an emotionally distant authority figure, and God is more like an emotionally distant authority figure than a character at all. Ultimately, the whole feeling that one is left with at the end…

The Ugly

�� is that the script doesn’t like God, or religion in general.

A bold statement to make, considering the source material is one of the central biblical stories in EVERY Abrahamic religion. Moses as a figure is considered so important and close to god, that The Prince of Egypt, even with its sensitive portrayal, cannot be aired in a number of Islamic states, because it’s considered disrespectful to depict any of the prophets, especially an important one like Moses. Moses is arguably the MOST important prophet in the Jewish canon.

However, I haven’t highlighted one of the most noticeable script changes - the elevation of Hotep, the high priest, to main antagonist.

In the original movie, Hotep is a secondary villain, a crony to the Pharaohs, bumbling and snide and two-faced. He and his fellow priest Hoy are there primarily to juxtapose how charlatans can control power through flattery and slight of hand, reassuring Ramses that Moses’ miracles are merely magic the same as what they can do. They even get a whole villain song, “Playing With The Big Boys” which is a lovely deconstruction of lyrics vs visuals, where while the priests boast that their gods and magic are much more powerful, in the background the staff, transformed into a snake by god, devours and defeats the priests’ snake handily. The takeaway from the song is that God’s power is true, and doesn’t need theatrics.

It’s a good little nugget of wordless world building. And it is completely absent from the stage musical, with only a vague reference to the chant of all the gods names.

Hoy is gone, and Hotep is the only priest. He actively speaks out against the Pharaoh, boasts about having all the power, and is played as bombastic and proud. He’s a wildly different character, even threatening Ramses at one point. In the end, it’s shown that Ramses won’t let the Hebrews go not because he has inherited his father Seti’s cruel attitude towards the lives he considers beneath him, but because he is being actively bullied by the priest, and will lose his power and credibility if he doesn’t do as he’s told. Ramses is even given a whole song about how little power he really has. The script desperately wants us to feel sorry for Ramses’ position and hate the unrepentantly, cartoonishly evil priest.

That’s another matter as well - a LOT of time is dedicated to making the Egyptians more human and sympathetic, portraying them as largely ignorant of the suffering beneath them, rather than actively participating in slavery. Characters speak out of turn without regard for formality and class, even to the royal family. They are casual, chummy even. And this would be fine - in fact, it’s good to have that sort of third dimension to characters, even ones who are doing reprehensible things, to show the total normalcy and banality of evil - if it were not for the fact they still include a completely open-and-shut case of evil right next to them.

Hotep has no redeeming features. And on the other side, God is barely present, certainly not in a relatable context. Moses has several lines about how cruel and unnecessary God’s plagues are - and you know what, in this version, they are unnecessary! Ramses is not the stone-hearted ruler that his movie counterpart is, he has no baggage over being a potential failure, because it was never really given to him in the same way! By taking away Ramses’ threatening nature, numbers like the Plagues lose half their appeal, as the back-and-forth ‘you who I called brother’ lines between Moses and Ramses are completely absent. Moses is faithless, and is less torn between the horror of what he’s doing and the necessity of it for the freedom of his people, and more left scrabbling for meaning that he doesn’t find. And the only thing hanging over Ramses is Hotep nit-picking everything he does and threatening him, which is considerably less compelling than the script seems to think it is.

This is best exemplified at the end, when all the issues come to a head. The angel of Death comes and takes the Egyptian first borns (which was actually a well done scene), and the Hebrews leave to a rousing rendition of When You Believe. But then we cut to Ramses and Hotep, with Hotep openly threatening to revolt against the Pharaoh - whom was believed, especially by the priesthood, to be a living god! Hotep is so devoid of redeeming features he cannot even be trusted to stand by his beliefs! - unless Ramses agrees to chase after the Hebrews. Reluctantly, Ramses is badgered into the attempt.

Back with the Hebrews, Moses parts the Red Sea… not with his faith, not by praying to God for another miracle, not even by using his staff as in the most famous scene of the movie… but by holding out his hand and demanding the ‘magic’ work. Setting aside the disrespect of Abrahamic religions to call one of the most famous miracles “magic” (and my oh my, if there was a fundamentalist of any religion in the audience they might have gasped to hear it), it again belittles the work of God, and puts all the onus on Moses, not as a conduit for God’s work, but as the worker himself. Then, the Egyptians arrive in pursuit, lead by Hotep, not Ramses. Moses sends the Hebrews through first, lead by Miriam, and stays behind with Tzipporah… to offer his life in penance to Ramses! The script has completely stripped both Ramses and Moses of their convictions towards their causes, and Moses cannot even stand by his decision to lead his people.

Then, in a moment of jarring melodrama, Moses has a sudden vision that Ramses, his brother, will one day be called Ramses the Great (an actual historical Pharaoh who reigned 1279-1213 BCE). There is no historical evidence that this was the Ramses that ruled over the Hebrews (there are 11 Pharaohs called Ramses through the history of Ancient Egypt), and maybe if the scene was acted a little better, it wouldn’t have been so sudden or jarring. Even more jarring, is that then Hotep arrives with the rest of the army, and Ramses refuses to lead the charge into the parted sea. Hotep does so himself, and is the one to have the final dramatic moment, being crushed under the water.

The Takeaway

After watching the show, I’m afraid I could never recommend it as either a play, an adaption, or even as a faithful retelling of a bible story. Its character drama isn’t compelling enough to be good as a standalone play, with it two main characters declawed and their core motivations reduced to a squabble between brothers rather than a grand interplay between two cultures and ideas and trauma handed down from their father. As an adaption of the movie it’s upsettingly bad, with grand numbers like the Plagues rendered piecemeal and fan favourites like Playing With The Big Boys missing entirely. As a retelling of the bible story, it’s insulting, completely cutting God out of the equation, taking no opportunity to reintroduce Aaron as an important character (which he was, in the bible, as Moses was a notoriously bad public speaker, with a stutter, and Aaron often interpreted for him) and more importantly, completely erasing God’s influence from the narrative.

I don’t know who this show was… for, in that case. If it wasn’t for drama lovers, movie fans, or people of the faith, then who the hell was it for? Why change such a critically acclaimed and well-beloved story? Why take away all these defining moments? If you wanted to tell a story about how religion is the true evil, how God can command people to do terrible things, and how those who uphold organised religion like Hotep are unrepentant, one-dimensional monsters… why would you tell that through the Prince of Egypt?

Underwhelming at best, infuriating at worst… just watch the movie. Or read Exodus. At least the Bible’s free.

[shelby-love]

HANK VOIGHT

Dating the Big Boss.

Requested: yes

Prompts: none

Warning(s): mentions of r*pe and p*dophilia (it's a tough case)

Author's note: I had a lot of fun writing this one. Especially since everyone is a lot older so I could play with maturity a little. Hope you enjoyed and sorry for the long wait! I'm just starting to get back to writing.

~

"What's up with him?" Erin whispered when she saw Voight barge into the unit's personal quarters. Hank didn't look at any of them as he strode into his office with a frown on his face.

He was angry, that's for sure.

Still hot on his tail, your senior detective self arrived right on que with him. Every pair of eyes was on you, knowing that you were the only one who had magic to calm him. You waved your hands, dismissing their burning questions all at once. You just crossed your fingers for them all to see and walked into your lover's office without knocking.

"Hank let's talk about this," You approached him carefully.

"There's nothing to talk about here Y/N."

"Yes, there is." You sat at the edge of his desk casually, although your heart was still racing upon hearing the news delivered to you this morning. "We have a serial rapist and pedophile out there. It's okay to be affected by it honey."

"Well I don't have any leads on this case," He told you strictly, although the anxiety was visible on his shoulders. He had his back turned to you and face focused on the city in front of him. The wheels turning and working in his brain were practically visible for the whole world to see.

"Then maybe we should look into our contacts and see who can help us," You proposed quietly. "This is far from over Hank. We can still turn this around."

You could see him nod, which instantly calmed you down. "Come here."

He, as surprising as it may sound, listened to your words, and walked over to your arms.

He placed his rough hands on your thighs while you ran your hands over his arms soothingly. Eventually your cold hands grasped his face as you gave him a soft look, "Do you want me to brief the team?"

"Thank you," You giggled, still not used to those words leaving his mouth.

The two of you shared a kiss before you left him alone with his thoughts to brief the team. Upon joining them you felt tension rise again, it made you remember what you were meant to do at that moment. "Is he alright?" Erin asked you quietly. You only managed to nod your head before ushering her to her seat.

Then you took a stand in front of them, a file filled with gore pictures secure in your hand. "A few days ago we found a female that was beaten, raped and murdered just outside the Riverwalk area. She was found in a dumpster just outside the Belle Hotel. Roughly 9 years old and unfortunately not the only case."

You spoke with authority that matched Voight's to a certain level. As a senior to all of them it was your job to deliver the details loud and clear. "There have been a few more cases similar to this one. Brody Thompson declared as missing just over a week ago was found two days ago in an area like this one. His left pinky was cut of just like the first victim's..." You placed a picture of a little boy on the board.

"Same MO?" Erin asked, scribbling things vigorously into her notepad. You nodded sadly.

"Are all of the victims children?" Burgess asked from the other side of the room. When you bobbed your head to her in confirmation you could practically see the heartbreak that struck her.

"We believe that we're dealing with a serial rapist and pedophile." You sighed.

"The MO is unique, and it doesn't look like he's been very careful with where he dumps the bodies," Jay notes. "It should be easy to find him since he's bound to make a mistake."

"That's where it gets tricky," You tell him, appreciating his quickness in noticing the details. "These are only cases reported in Chicago within the last few weeks. If we expand the search, which we did, there are dozens of other reported cases all around Ohio, Virginia, Rhode Island and lastly… New York."

A cool cloak of silence fell over the room once you've finished marking the spots. "Some date back to 10 years so we're looking for someone in his early to mid-forties. Maybe even older. Virginia State Police was only able to give us cases within the last 5 years, and we've hit four matches so far."

"Why are they handing the case to us? NYPD should be able to handle this." It was Alvin who had asked that question to which you opened your mouth to answer immediately.

But Hank, your boyfriend and partner, was quicker.

"Because we're the most qualified to do it," He explained, voice booming across the room. He joined your side and placed his hand on your hip; it was that after all, only the members of this very unit knew about you two. "Now, I've pulled out some old contacts from New York. They should be arriving here on the first jet they get their hands on. Until then I want you guys everywhere."

When his gaze slid to yours a twinkle of determination shone within his irises, "Let's get this son of a bitch."

***

"Sargent Benson," you greet the woman that just descended the stairs of the jet. The only people on the tarmac are the two of you and the officers you brought here. "Thank you for coming on a such short notice."

"Voight sounded stressed when he called. Is he alright?" She asked you quietly, matching your footing and walking toward the black SUV next to you.

You shook your head, "This case has been really hard on us is all. It's not every day we have cases like this one."

"Well, our job isn't pretty." She agreed. "Rape cases are already hard on their own."

"But when it's kids…"

"Do you have kids, detective?"

"None that are my own."

"Then I guess you're lucky."

"I suppose so."

***

The drive back to the district wasn't all that comfortable. Benson carried an air of importance around her that would get some rookies sweating with nerves.

Decades in this line of work showed just how good of a match you were for her.

"Hey Trudy," You greeted your friend in passing. Benson was hot on your heels as you lead her upstairs.

Upon reaching your destination you felt her walk straight pass you into Hank's arms. She brushed her hand against the lapels of his jackets when she asked him how he was doing. You felt your chest rise with jealousy but that diminished quickly when you saw him lead her to his office.

"You're not seeing that?"

"Seeing what Jay?"

The younger man narrowed his eyes at you, "She's obviously into him."

You sent him a glare. "We're not kids Jay, we're adults that lived long enough to see what's worthy being petty about and what's not."

"If you say so."

You rolled your eyes, but still went to retrieve your man, nevertheless.

***

You knocked twice before Voight let you in. "Sorry detective, this is a private conversation."

It was Benson who had told you this. You fought an eyebrow that wanted to rise.

"Y/N runs this unit as much as I do," Your boyfriend interfered. "She can stay."

You smiled, that not being able to suppress. "What do you have?"

"A possible location," She told you, still eerie about you being there.

You perked your eyes at that, taking your usual seat in Voight's office. Hank came to stand behind your chair, hands on the back of it. Olivia eyed you quietly and came to retrieve some papers. With her back turned to you both you turned your head, eyes travelling to Voight. Silently, you asked about what was going on. He only shook his head and pressed his hand against your shoulder, rubbing it in comfort.

Olivia saw the interaction and raised her brow.

***

You held your M16 in your hands securely. Officers were bustling all around you, greeting you in passing. The house in front of you looked like a fortress having god knows what protecting it. "We don't go in by force. There are still kids inside."

While the members of your unit nodded in agreement, a few voiced their distaste.

"We go in now. Cut off his ability to retaliate."

"I understand Olivia, but-"

"Sergeant."

"Excuse me?"

"I'm your sergeant. Let's keep it that way."

You gritted your teeth, seemingly offended by the fact that she had used the chain of command to put you in your place.

"My sergeant is Voight. I answer only to him," You corrected her. "I just want those kids to come out of there alive, and that's not going to be possible if we barge in. He'll panic. Kill them instantly."

"Why don't you go in then?" She proposed. "Scope and give us inside information so we can work our way around it. You find the kids and let us do the rest."

You thought about it. "I need –"

"Nothing." Your sergeant appeared by your side, eyes hard and body as still as a rock. Unlike Benson, you could see his anger. You almost reached out to calm him. "You're not doing it."

"This could be our shot." You told him.

He only shook his head, "Trust me it's not. A word, sergeant?"

She nodded and followed him.

You watched as the distance became bigger.

Jay and Adam came to stand next to you, Adam at your right side and Jay at your left.

"Holy hell." Adam muttered.

"She almost got you killed." Jay commented after him.

"Holy hell indeed guys."

***

"Hank I'm trying to do right by these kids!"

"The hell you are," Hank outright yelled at her. As the only person at the scene that had guts to stand up to her, he took the chance to put her in her place. "The way I see it you want Y/N in direct danger with no back up."

She stayed silent.

"You don't get to boss around my unit. Especially not my most trusted detective."

"Oh, come on Hank." She sighed, not quite believing what she was hearing.

"You're here to assist. The case is still mine so don't get ahead of yourself."

And with that, he left her to be.

"We're waiting for him. SWAT is on standby."

You smiled gratefully at him before mouthing a thank you.

***

"You did great today," You complimented him, smiling from ear to ear. All the children that went missing within the last few weeks have been found alive. Wounded yes, but alive. And the man was, much to your satisfaction, shot dead when he tried to run. By none other than yourself. Being able to put down a monster like him brought you satisfaction.

It brought Hank pride too.

He pulled you in by the hip and rested your back against the wall. Chicago was lightly lit up outside, bringing peaceful atmosphere to the district. Your fingers brushed against his rigid jawline; eyes locked with his.

Kisses between you two were shared ever so often at work. While you would both usually leave to the privacy of your home, today was a day you both needed reassurances immediately.

Your lips were pressed together and moving in a way possible for only people with experience.

When someone opened the door without knocking, you pushed him away in fright. Hank didn't even stumble as he narrowed his eyes at the person who had intruded.

"Sergeant Benson?!" You shrieked, cheeks flushing a bright red.

"It all makes sense now." She mused.

MASTERLIST

[geekgemsspooksandtoons]

Continued thoughts on RE8

This was copied when I was making my DeviantArt journal about this. And ah, thank goodness, I don’t need to space out shit. Guess DA using numbers like that helps me out lol.

Hope the title is creative enough. But...the game has been out a month. But I'll tag spoilers anyway. So I got done with the game at 12:04 or well, I put my PS4 into rest mode to charge my controller. I'm gonna say three things.

Donna's death honestly fucked me up...and not in a good way.

Moreau is likely the best boss in the game. Maybe.

Shut your fucking hole is honestly funny.

Okay but yes, I finally played more of Resident Evil 8. And surprisingly, and I wanted to save and be done with the game after I got into the confrontation with Heisenberg.

Let me be honest with you all. Resident Evil 8 is a fine game. While I am still critical about it's story and what choices they made. The gameplay is pretty fine, and I think it's an overall nice or alright experience. While I don't think this is the best RE game ever. And I do think this game got too much of high praising. It was overhyped honestly. But I do feel like it becomes I guess more enjoyable as you play it.

Now I'm gonna go over me going through the sections I talked about real quick. And no, I didn't beat Heisenberg...I haven't yet.

Donna and Angie's section is maybe the best part of the game. Gonna admit when you go to House Beneviento, it's actually beautiful seeing a waterfall beside it. And while I do think the Silent Hill comparisons are...I'm no expert. I've only watched movie format of the first four Silent Hill games. But that part is where the game is scariest at. Despite me being annoyed by the puzzle stuff in one part of this game. Luckily, I feel great I decided not to look anything up.

But I guess it's the closest we'll get to a modern Silent Hill game. But I overall loved this part of the game. Despite I was being stupid and didn't put half of a child puzzle piece into a door for a few minutes. I will admit, I do feel like the puzzles are easier than usual than older RE games...which is kind of fine with me.

Also that giant fetus baby thing is fucking creepy. Thank God I wasn't devoured by it...but amused I was spooked by maybe the projection falling and bookcases moving. Which I dubbed Scooby Doo shit.

And...I'm sorry, I was not expecting Donna's death to go like that...like wow...despite what my friend told me about...wow...just saying, I am not selling Alcina Dimitrescu's or Moreau's remains to the Duke. And I'm sure as Hell not selling Angie either. Besides, I get a lot of money in this game already. Seriously, I'm loaded.

It's just silly like...I didn't want to go to Donna's house first but I had to. Will admit, I do feel like she was underdeveloped. And that could go as well to maybe the other lords. And I did go back to Donna's place to get her treasure...where I fought this fucking giant with an axe...and I'm really interested in who the Hell is that Claudia Beneviento. Considering she died very young.

Moreau's section was pretty fine. But I think along with Alcina's section, was a pretty nice place. While Donna's section seemed a bit more simple, it was more focused on, creeping the shit out of me. Yet I was still terrified being in Castle Dimitrescu because it was my first time...and may still could be scared if I replay the game again after I finish it.

Will admit, I was annoyed I got killed by Moreau three times in the water. I think the reason I liked his part because his boss felt very classic Resident Evil. Maybe almost like Nemesis when he's fully unleashed in the original RE3. I feel like Moreau was pretty unique. Despite at first...kind of wonder if I do want him to look more a Gilman creature. Because he's likely inspired by that those kinds of films.

Also I will admit this, him popping up as a huge fish at first spooked me. Continuing on, I have been going to wells and using the crank to collect shit. Which got me to collect Alcina's golden statue of herself. Which yes...is very narcissistic of her haha! Along with the treasure from Donna...and I forgot to mention I've finished those first three...weird ball games...

Gonna admit, I strangely feel reminded of Sonic Spinball and those pinball sections in the Sonic series. I sound stupid saying that. They are interesting puzzles. I'm just glad and to me personally, Alcina's ones was the most tricky.

So after I beat Moreau, I got the Wolfbane, which was the pistol I was very interested in and it killed that weird beast(Is it like a dog turned Lycan dog or something?)...in one shot...this is maybe the strongest gun in the game. Holy shit, Barry Burton would be proud.

But yeah, I went through the Lycan's den. Turns out, Heisenberg wasn't there. Also the grenade launcher is great to use too. And seriously, the amount of Lycans heads I've blown up with mainly a normal pistol amazes me. Holy crap, I killed a shit ton of them, so many heads blown up.

After getting that last flask and finally opening a way to Heisenberg's factory, I finally get to meet the fella. To be honest, I'm not huge on Karl's voice. I've heard it before, and I know the voice actor got inspiration from Nicholas Cage...but I just imagine Karl's voice to be different. Maybe Cage when his voice is higher pitched, but I forget. Maybe if I get used to it, I'll be fine with it. Here's one of the more amusing lords and...really, the four lords and a lot of other stuff is why I like this game.

What I hate is of what later on happens and...the future of these main games.

I also wanna say that the part I saved on is when I have to escape the factory. But holy shit, how the fuck can the Duke get into these fucking places or whatever. At least the Merchant made sense and whatever else...I'm rambling on. I just find it amusing that this huge character can get into certain places that would maybe seem impossible or not.

But yeah...I'm very likely close to the end of the game. Played a couple of hours. Maybe 3 to 4 or so. While I am...critical of this chapter of the RE franchise. There are things I genuinely liked. I just strangely hate...that this is the final product and we're gonna have to live with it. This is the RE game people are making memes about...I shouldn't be very excited for the new movie reboot this year...but that's what I'm more excited for.

The 25th anniversary of Resident Evil has been going good. Despite my feelings on this new main game.

I remember now, I feel like when I finish this game and I be more detailed with my criticisms. I've heard from a good friend of mine that Under The Mayo has similar opinions to us of how we feel about Resident Evil 8...yet before I decided to listen to the usual 1 hour version of the RE8 save room theme. Which is this.

Resident Evil 8: Village Save Room 1 Hour Extended - YouTube

A day ago, he posted a video that has this thumbnail and the title of how God Of War ruined Resident Evil...I'm really wondering how the fuck is that possible. And my usual bitching is about the fact we hardly see our old characters anymore(Such as Jill who isn't such a big focus anymore), some characters are not better expanded upon or whatever else, and the future...I'm just not interested. Despite I've said to a friend I could be interested in seeing how it goes...

I just explained a little of what I had problems with. I'm just gonna say Capcom needs to be a bit more ambitious and meaningful with their storytelling now. Which may sound stupid...I just want better for this series. And when mentioning that upcoming movie. If we ever get a movie adaption of RE7 and 8, ESPECIALLY 8, I want that to be a loose adaptation and some shit changed.

[avwrites4ever]

Fantasy Setting Idea - Classic Japan (Heian Period)

It’s a New Year! And what better way to start it off than gush about something I love! I hope you will enjoy it too, and get excited, because I’m bursting with ideas!

I’ve even gushed about this to people at my work, the poor things. That’s how excited I am.

I just love discovering new writing ideas and hoping someone will do something wonderful with them. It doesn’t have to be me. Just someone.

So.

The Heian Period.

Also known as the Golden Age of Japan.

I think it’d make a fascinating base for a fantasy setting. So would ancient Korea, if the movie Ramage taught me anything.

*NOTE: This isn’t a history lesson. I’m just examining broad strokes of certain elements of culture & setting which I think would lend themselves to a fascinating fantasy story.

(Although there is a History of Japan in 5 minutes video at the end.)

Fun Fact:

The Tale of Genji, written during this time period, is probably

the world’s 1st novel.

The 1st novel. Ever.

Written by a court lady in Heian Japan, no less. She is known as Murasaki Shikibu, but that’s a nickname (her real name is unknown.)

Chiefly, I’ll quote from Royall Tyler’s intro to his translation of The Tale of Genji.

And if I can find my copy of The Pillow Book, written by Sei Shonagon, I’ll include that too. (Please don’t confuse with the film of the same name, which is not the same AT ALL.)

Here’s a summary of The Pillow Book:

http://cup.columbia.edu/book/the-pillow-book-of-sei-shnagon/9780231073370

*Not sure if this is the best translation, I just like the summary.

*Note: Translations are tricky, & often if you don’t like a translated text, it might be because the translation is bad, and not actually the fault of the original work! Please keep that in mind while reading.

The Tale of Genji & The Pillow Book are both primary sources, by the way, meaning they were written by people who were actually living in the Heian Period!

(And both ladies were rivals of each other, which I find hilarious, considering I like both of their works.)

They’re not dry & boring either. Far from it. (I mean obviously, or I wouldn’t recommend them.)

I recommend The Pillow Book first. If you have a good translation, while reading, you’ll learn about how life was during the time, which will make reading The Tale of Genji easier since, being a novel, Genji assumes you live in the Heian Period and so know all about it (the inside jokes, the word play, the burns, everything.)

I also find Sei Shonagon a fascinating person. Very funny & clever. She journals like I do, only less randomly. She’s very interested in the world around her & all its funny, heartwarming, or baffling moments.

If not for the barriers of time & language which, funny enough, translation has more or less broken, I feel as we’d have some great conversations.

I love how real people in history are both very relatable & very different from us.

I mention these 2 because it was chiefly while reading the intro to Royall’s translation of Genji that I got the idea for this post. Though I was already fascinated by Heian Japan while reading The Pillow Book.

Though, if anyone is interested, I first became intrigued by Japan’s history while reading Rurouni Kenshin. Considering it’s a manga, consisting of pictures & text, you might start there.

(Though Rurouni Kenshin is set shortly after the Meji Restoration, which I believe is something like the start of Japan’s modern period, since samurai are in decline. But don’t quote me, I could be wrong.)

Anyway.

Also, Tumblr apparently doesn’t know what the Heian Period is, so few pictures here will be actually of the Heian Period, and doubtful if they’re accurate.

Actually, I’m using this as an excuse to put in pictures of Toshiro Mifune & old Japanese black & white films & pretty landscapes & cats & anime, because I can.

So! What about Heian Japan so intrigues my writerly brain?

Lots of things, naturally,

Certainly a fantasy world based around the Heian Period will be different from your typical western Medieval-esque fantasy settings which are so popular.

Yes, I’m brilliant, no one would ever have guessed that.

(Though speaking of Medieval-esque fantasy research has taught me those, such as Game of Thrones, to give a popular example, are actually closer to reflecting the Early Modern Period.)

See this link for better argument by someone more researched than me:

https://acoup.blog/2019/05/28/new-acquisitions-not-how-it-was-game-of-thrones-and-the-middle-ages-part-i/

https://acoup.blog/2020/12/04/collections-that-dothraki-horde-part-i-barbarian-couture/

I mean yes, I was surprised too that a person who claims to do their research apparently hasn’t, but here we are.

Speaking of which, take everything I say with a grain of salt, because I know nothing. Nothing!

By which I mean, I am not an expert about the Heian Period, or even Japanese history. For example, a lot of what I’m talking about will involve the perspective of court nobles & rich people, since those were both the characters in the primary sources & were what the authors were themselves.

I’d love to read a story where the main characters & people involved are peasants in the Heian Period. (And who stay peasants, & aren’t secretly royal or noble.)

I’m only suggesting this as a way to expand your mind beyond fantasy settings which have been done before.

I hope too that I’m not advocating cultural appropriation either (an easy trap to fall into.) If you think I am, let me know!

Now that’s all out of the way, here’s some specifics about what I love about the Heian Period:

It’s a Hidden & Secret World Insubstantial as a Dream, Structured by Social Manners & Rank

What struck me right away while reading The Pillow Book & The Tale of Genji is how closed their worlds are. Noble women especially lived in a world of curtains, panels, blinds, and  paper, silk, or bamboo screens, and walled gardens. People speak to each other not only through these divides, but also through messengers / servants.

What connects all these things are how fragile they are.

As Royall writes in his introduction to The Tale of Genji, even in courtship, (pg. xix):

“He cannot see her, and he may have no idea what she looks like. He will not normally see her even if she speaks to him in her own voice, since she will still be in another room, behind a blind and a curtain, and the curtain will remain even if she allows him into the room where she is.”

Seeing another person is very intimate. This makes it very easy to build up mystery and intrigue of a person before you actually meet them. Catching a glimpse of them or a snatch of their voice, or the hem of a sleeve from under a screen can be electrifying. Especially of a gentleman to a lady, or vice versa, because of all those blinds and screens and so forth. Royall mentions this in the introduction to his translation of The Tale of Genji. 

“If he then takes it upon himself to brush her curtain aside and go straight to her, he will by that gesture alone have claimed something close to the final intimacy.” (Introduction, pg. xix.)

What prevents him, of course, is a combination of good manners & reputation. Royall writes, “Good manners maintained a proper distance, which amounted to unholding the accepted social order.” Loss of reputation could mean loss of friends and entertainment and wealth, even exile. Having other people to talk to or play games or music with was essential.

Introducing ghosts, shape-shifters, and uncertain magic to such a setting is only to be expected. (There is a ghost in The Tale of Genji.) 

Also note that then & now personal names were seldom used, & especially not in public unless by someone intimate with you (such as a family member or old friend) or the person was extremely rude. Instead, people were referred to by their rank and title or last name, or even the place where they came from. Some were even referred to by a number, for example, First Princess (Onna Ichi no Miya.)

Notes or letters were vital within such a formal social structure. Even more vital than text messages are today. For in notes, especially poetry, someone could speak from the heart. So much that even the type of paper used was important. For example, most romantic notes were written on thin, colored paper, often kept in the front fold of a robe. They could also be scented and contain a branch from a tree or flowers.

And of course, clever word play and innuendos were all the rage. People were also expected to memorize poetry, and judged if their poetry or writing wasn’t up to standard.

Anyone who loves words would excel here. Think of all the possibilities! Secret lover’s notes, inside jokes between friends, sick burns between enemies or rivals. Plots to overthrow the Emperor could happen in plain sight. Throw some curses and magic to the mix and see what happens. Having some sort of mystery would also work well.

Hope you enjoyed this & makes you excited about creating a unique, rich, fascinating fantasy world.

Or really any part of Japan’s history, which roughly goes like this:

Obviously, if any of this intrigues you, & you want to use Classic Japan as a setting, you’ll need to do research. And I mean it. Or I will hunt down some rusty spoons.

I’m serious though. The reason why I’m writing this post is, hopefully, other people can also learn about Heian Japan, or more of Japan’s rich, beautiful, bloody history. Share the wonder with others, so the wonder won’t be lost or forgotten.

And in doing so, discover the wonder at being able to laugh at jokes made by someone who doesn’t even speak the same language as you, doesn’t even live in the same time or place . . .

It’s truly amazing. People are more alike than we know. And amazingly different. Reading manga & learning about Japan (and other countries) has been & is such a glorious experience. I understand myself & other people better.

It’s opened up the world.

[fae-fucker]

Review: Death Wind by Tara Grayce

Essie should be planning her happily ever after, not planning a war. Although they once were enemies, the humans of Escarland and the elves of Tarenhiel have allied to fight the trolls from the far north. But alliances are tricky things even in the best of times, and with Farrendel, the elves’ foremost warrior and Essie’s husband, captured by the trolls, the circumstances appear dire indeed. But Essie won’t give up, and she will make her two peoples work together to fight this war if it’s the last thing she does. One way or another, she will get Farrendel back, no matter what it takes.

Gonna be honest, didn't expect much given my lukewarm reaction to the previous two books, but this one? This one actually held my attention for genuine reasons rather than just being a light read. Because the plot involves a lot of conflict (arguably the biggest conflict possible, war), the pacing is steady, and two of the three POV characters are mostly suffering and/or being tortured, there's actually tension for once. It's a welcome change, and proves that the author is very much capable of writing it but just chooses not to in favor of boring and conflict-free family interactions.

With Melantha introduced as a POV character, we're offered a pretty buckwild concept for this series: a character that makes mistakes and has to live with the consequences. I actually found myself liking Melantha, not because I thought she was a compelling character (she wasn't) or because I felt bad for her (I didn't), but because she had what Essie didn't: flaws. There's even a point in the book where Melantha thinks about how much she dislikes Essie because Essie is so sugary perfect and everything Melantha wishes she could be, and I think it's supposed to show us how bitter and insecure Melantha is? Except she's 100% correct, Essie is literally too perfect to be a real person and I just sat there going "yeah, you're right, and don't feel bad for being shitty because literally nobody can actually be like Essie."

However, Melantha suffers from Stupid Bitch Syndrome, which doesn't exactly make for a good protagonist/POV character. She's not intended to be dumb, the book expects us to think she was simply misguided and bitter and not, like, a complete idiot who should've known better. But her instant remorse feels less like character development and more like her suddenly realizing she’s actually a huge idiot who fell for the enemy’s nonsense, which she is. She's supposed to be an older elf, a grown woman, yet she makes such an obvious mistake and immediately regrets it and folds like a wet blanket the moment shit hits the fan. It's honestly a bit pathetic. The only reason I preferred her over Essie was because she introduced some much-needed depth to the character roster, but that depth was still about the size of a teacup, compared to Farrendel's thimble and Essie's singular water molecule. Her relationship with the troll prince was actually ... interesting? It was all mostly unspoken, which I think made it stronger than the overly telegraphed thing Essie and Farrendel have going on, and I’m sure it’ll be flattened out and become boring in the next book, so enjoy this potential before it’s wasted.

Farrendel spends the entire book being tortured and thinking about how he's being tortured. I can't blame him, but it doesn't make for good reading. I honestly think his POV could've been left out altogether and it wouldn't have changed much. Melantha is already there with him letting the reader know he’s suffering, we don’t need two POVs telling us the same thing. Oh uh, except for the part where he ... puts his magic in a soul-bond pocket. I'd mark this as spoilers but it's literally on the cover. I guess if his POV was removed then we'd never know how Essie learned to blast his power in battle at that one convenient moment, but it barely affects the plot afterward so um, yeah. I'm having a hard time justifying his POV at all. I'm still not over that part btw, how Farrendel just ... makes a "mental fist" (no, really), grabs his magic in one and his soul bond with Essie in the other and just puts them together like he's connecting two cables to an adapter. And he knew to do this ... how? It's not like we've seen him experiment with his magic before, in fact he's been shown to hate it and only use it when necessary, but apparently this tortured and exhausted man has the presence of mind to try something as vague and theoretical as ... putting his magic in a soul pocket. He spends a few pages going “I wonder if I can do this” and then it works on the first try. He does consider whether it’ll hurt Essie and decides not to try it, but as I said, he does it soon after anyway so like ... I don’t think it’s supposed to be funny or show how little of a shit he gives about Essie, but that’s sort of the implication and I thought it was funny as hell. 

Anyway, the magic pocket is about as much worldbuilding/lore as we get from this series entry, aside from the trolls having their own political intricacies and tensions, which I’m assuming the next book will expand upon. The writing itself in this book was pretty bad at times. The repetition of certain words and names was really glaring in some parts and felt amateurish. Take a shot every time the word “magic” appears and you’ll be in the grave before the book ends. Prince Rharreth and King Charvod are almost always referred to with their full titles and names for some reason? A few editing rounds would’ve helped this a lot, methinks.

The plot is mostly moved along in Essie’s POV, which is slightly less insufferable than usual because she’s the one observing the movement of the two armies and there are actually action scenes in there that, while don’t exactly made me worried about her (there’s no way this perfect idiot will ever die), still provided some tension. But it’s honestly not much, the “war” lasted two entire weeks (and that’s including the strategy, logistics, and mobilizing) and with how fast the armies travel and how little resistance they face (and how Deus Ex Farrendel-d the final battle was, the guy is apparently full of godlike destructive power despite being starved and tortured, go off king), it all felt very unrealistic and easy. Like, we have two armies marching in the middle of a mountain chain during magical snow storms, all while being regularly assaulted by the defending army, and they still get there no problem, without a single mention of soldiers struggling not to die of exposure. Aight. I guess these elves and humans are just very resistant to the cold, for some reason.

I have a sneaking suspicion that the reason it goes over so fast in-universe is because the author wanted Farrendel to be horribly tortured throughout his captivity, but also knew that if that lasts too long, the damage will be too severe to easily resolve in the next book. But instead of easing off the hardcore torture, because then we’d lose out on that drama and those High Stakes, she decided to speed up the whole war thing, because hey, who cares about that, anyway? We just want Farrendel back, right? Riiiight? Better hurry up guys! Don’t want Farrendel to be too tortured to fix with some strawberry-flavored medicine and vague counseling in the next book!

So yeah, the plot moves on speedily, but at what cost? Mainly depth. Again. And once again, Essie suffers the most from being a bland caricature of a person and dragging the whole thing down. The author’s GR bio says she writes “spunky and tough” leading ladies, and I guess having no other things in your brain except sparkly kitten gifs is a certain kind of toughness in an “immovable object” sort of way, but “spunk” implies a of counter-culture edge that sweet widdle Essie simply does not have.

There was one small section where Essie felt bad over how the human and elven warriors were going to die, how many mothers and sisters and daughters would suffer just so she didn’t have to, but then we don’t find out the death count, the casualties are never even mentioned, and Essie moves on from this without even a single thought questioning the morality of a monarchy or her own position of power. Now, I get that that’s not the focus of this series, but it just adds to how Essie’s worries are always surface-level and never justified by the plot, how she never has to do any introspection and is never allowed to not always be annoyingly positive. Whenever she even begins to think something negative, she instantly, almost compulsively changes trajectory and just decides not to worry about it, and then it never comes up again anyway. This would’ve been like, an interesting take on toxic positivity and how Essie represses her own emotions, but no, the book never goes there, she’s just that perfect and wee and optimistic, even during a war and when her husband’s being tortured to near-death. It’s kind of insulting to read, honestly.

Oh yeah, that’s another thing that annoyed me. Even when she loses Farrendel, she takes it surprisingly well and focuses mostly on keeping a positive attitude for his sake, so he doesn’t feel her sadness through their “heart bond.” I never really felt her loss, her love for him, when she so easily could just decide not to feel bad “for his sake.” I want her to feel bad, I want her to miss him and to ache at his absence and to fear for what they’re doing to him. But no. That would just upset him more and hurt him more. So Essie doesn’t get to experience any negative feelings because it might upset her husband. Essie doesn’t get angry and determined to fight, she just keeps being her cheery little Stepford Wife self because being nice will keep everyone’s spirits up and make them hope and fight harder to preserve that hope!! :)

It just comes off as really flat and moralistic yet dishonest at the same time, because nobody would fucking react like this IRL. Essie might be a good person in-universe, but she drags the entire series down just by being perfect, cheery, and never, ever challenged or even allowed to challenge anything herself. Essie isn’t allowed to have any negative feelings because it might affect her husband, and yet we’re supposed to find this empowering somehow? We’re supposed to believe she’s spunky and confident and a sweet little firecracker of a redhead?

Eugh.

At least Melantha is an idiot, I guess. One whole female character gets to have a flaw, and she’s the almost-villain who needs to be fixed with love.

Idk man. The sexism in this series is like a constant undercurrent that grows stronger with each installment as our “understanding” of this world expands. All of Essie’s brothers, including the king, are at the front lines because they are manly men “have to” be there, while the women who aren’t Essie or Jalissa stay behind to be mothers and caretakers. It’s never expanded upon and just sort of accepted as part of both human and elven society and the narrative treats it like this obvious thing that even Essie doesn’t really bother noting how unfair and/or weird it is. There’s not even a single comment on it. Essie is in the war not because she can fight but because Farrendel needs her, and Jalissa is there because ... Um. Because ... she. Uh. She needs to be there when they confront Melantha? She’s Farrendel’s sister? Idk. Jalissa’s main point in this series so far seems to be the ship tease between her and Edmund that feels awkward and one-sided as fuck.

So yeah. The pacing and plot flowed along really well, but the characters and the writing and worldbuilding are all just really undercooked, which, at three books into the series, feels more glaring than ever.

But hey, at least it was a quick read!

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Roguish Women Part 44

Summary: Kate is an American who fled to Paris to escape her past life. Now she's dancing and  playing the part of a courtesan at the Moulin Rouge. There she meets Tommy Shelby who thinks she can be useful in expanding his empire. But has he been blinded?

Part 44: Kate feels uneasy about the match but Tommy does his best to put her worries to rest. Even though it’s valid worries.

            “Well, you can put your trust into Alfie,” Kate said as she stepped off the boat.

            Tommy took her hand to help her down. “I think you put too much trust into him. But I’m glad you think he’ll see us through this.”

            “When Luca showed up, he hid me.”

            Tommy’s face changed noticeably. He thought for certain that he had timed everything correctly. That his aunt had nothing to worry about because Kate would come back completely unharmed and not even close to where Luca was. Well, she looked unharmed but it drove a knife into Tommy’s stomach knowing she was that close to their enemy.

            Kate noticed his look. “It’s okay.” She said gently. “I know you didn’t plan this and we should just be grateful that nothing happened. Alfie stepped up and made sure I was safe. That’s why I’m saying you can trust him.” She touched his cheek and gave him a small smile. “It was scary but all in all I think it was worth it.”

            He let out a deep sigh. “You’re strangely calm about this.” He replied with a grimace.

            “Because you and Michael both had run-ins with Luca. I wasn’t even in the same room as him. So, I think in the grand scheme of things, I was safer.” She took his hand. “Now, c’mon, I’m hungry.”

 ~~~~~~~~~

            Tommy brought her home and sat down at the table while she had free rein of the kitchen. He pulled out a cigarette to light. “Why don’t you have one of the girls come in and make you something?” He offered.

            “I’ve been in a boat for days; I’d rather be on my feet.” She replied, scouring the pantry. “I’m not giant yet, although Alfie seemed to be able to tell I was pregnant even if I’m not showing.”

            It was as if she had come back to tell him everything he didn’t want to hear. “For fuck’s sake. How did he know?”

            “Relax. I told you, we can trust him.”

            He just shook his head and took a few drags from his cigarette to calm his nerves. His eyes were staring at the wall, slipping off into a daze as he was lost in his own thoughts.

            Kate came over and set down her lunch, interrupting him. “I was thinking about the things we could do once this is all over. I think it would be a good idea for you to take a little break.”

            “I’ll take a break when the twins arrive.” He reminded her. “I have plans to get in the works.”

            She looked disgruntled. “Tom, can we agree that these long-winded plans get you into tricky situations like the one we’re in now?”

            He nodded absent-mindedly. Of course, how could he deny that? But what else could he do? “Things will get better.”

            It sounded like something he had told her before. Maybe after Black Star Day or after the Derby. She wanted to trust him, wanted to trust his judgment, but she had a hard time trusting the rest of the world. It was common knowledge that her fiancée thought that the world would bend to his will if he was smart enough and had a good enough strategy. Yet no matter how many times Kate reminded him, he seemed to forget the world was untamable. He was aware it was unforgiving, but he’d survived death so many times. Maybe he thought death wouldn’t come to him unless he accepted it.

            “What are you planning?” She asked cautiously.

            “There are parliament elections…”

            “Wait, wait, wait.” She stopped him before he could go on. “Tommy, be reasonable.”

            “I am.” He tapped some ash off his cigarette.

            Kate was suddenly not very hungry. She took a deep breath. “I recognize that you are smart enough and capable to hold a government position. Please understand that I don’t doubt you.” 

            He took her hand and looked into her eyes to let her know he was listening.

            She felt a bit more comforted as she moved closer to him. There was never a time in their relationship that she felt unable to voice her opinions. Even in the beginning when he wasn’t keen on listening to her, she made sure he still heard her.

            “I’m worried that you might be taking on too much. I’m worried you think you need to hold the world on your shoulders when you don’t. I know you want to bring change; you want to make the world a better place for people because you don’t want them to go through what you have.”

            He lowered his eyes a bit. It was never easy when she dug right into the center of who he was. No one could quite drill past his armor like she could. Talking to her was like looking into a mirror and seeing the man he wished he was. The young bright-eyed boy who hoped for so much more.

            “But you deserve peace and happiness, Thomas Shelby. You can’t sacrifice every part of you.” She pressed her lips to his knuckles.

            “What do you suggest I do?” He asked quietly.

            “Give yourself some time. We’ll be waiting for the twins to arrive anyway; I don’t think there’s much to do. Won’t be much I’ll be able to do.” She smiled slightly. “Allow Polly and Michael and the rest to run operations. You don’t have to give up any control but just trust that they know what’s right and what you need them to do.”

            He sighed. It was difficult to even imagine giving up so much control. But if he had his eyes set on Parliament, he wouldn’t have the time to run everything. Realistically he would have to relinquish some control.

            Kate saw the doubt in his face. “If you won’t do it for yourself, do it for me. Do it for the babies.” She urged softly. “Allow me to make up for the time I’ve lost with you.”

            Tommy nodded. “Okay.” He agreed. “Okay.”

 ~~~~~~~~~~~

            “What’s the long face for?” Polly asked.

            Kate shrugged. “I’m not upset, just thinking.” They were sitting in the tailor’s shop the day before the big boxing match. She found that the dress she had planned to wear wasn’t going to fit. Even though it was slight, her baby bump was starting to show and starting to make certain dresses difficult to wear. So, Polly brought her to get the dress taken out a bit instead of having to find another one to wear.

            “About what?” Polly wondered.

            “I just don’t feel right about the match.” She admitted. “Something’s just…it just feels off.”

            “Everything feels that way these days.” Tommy’s aunt sighed. “I suppose it’s the atmosphere of Small Heath. I almost forgot it.”

            “Yeah.” Kate nodded. “I suppose you’re right. We were used to it once upon a time. But now that we’ve tasted life outside of it, it’s hard to be stuck in again.”

            “It’ll all be over soon,” Polly assured her. “Just be patient. Think about the good times to come.”

            The seamstress, Sophia, came out with the dress. “Here you are, that should do it. Do you want to try it on, Miss Lynch?”

            Polly stood up from the sofa in the front of the store. “We’re in a bit of a hurry so she’ll have to try it on at home. I’m sure it fits perfectly now. Such a shame the woman who made it in London took the wrong measurements.”

            Kate glanced at both women before coming to her senses. No doubt Polly had been enlisted by Tommy to make sure no one else caught onto the pregnancy. It was frustrating enough that he had accidentally told Michael and Alfie just took a wild guess. But Tommy was capping the list off at five. No one else would know.

            “Oh, yes.” Kate stood as Sophia began to wrap up the dress to put in a bag. “I’m sure it’s all set. Thank you so much.”

            The seamstress didn’t appear to be used to people just walking out without making sure it fit. “Oh, not a problem. I hope you all have fun at the boxing match. My husband’s going.” She smiled idly as she wrote up the receipt. “I told him to not bet too much money but I think he thinks he’s going to make a fortune off of Alfie Solomon’s boy.” She laughed softly.

            Kate stood near the door. She wondered how nice it must be to be so oblivious to everything. To think the match was nothing more than just some good sport. Kate didn’t have the luxury to be that naïve.

 ~~~~~~~~~

            The night of the match, Tommy came into the bedroom where Kate was getting dressed. He smiled when he saw her sitting on the bed pulling up her stockings. “I wasn’t sure where you ladies got the idea that this was something you all needed to dress up for.” He teased. Hopefully, a little lighthearted banter would put her at ease. Tommy only wished he could calm himself down.

            Kate glanced up at him and stuck her tongue out. “We’ve all been stuck in Small Heath for weeks. None of us have had a chance to dress up. I think you should’ve expected us to take the first opportunity we have.” She finished with her stockings and stood up. “Now can you fasten the last few buttons?”

            Tommy came up behind her and brushed her blonde curls away from her neck. “I’ve always loved red on you.” He said gently.

            “I wore red to the derby.”

            He frowned. “No, you didn’t. You wore black to Epsom.”

            “Not Epsom.” She shook her head. “I meant when I met Kimber.”

            Another one of Tommy’s ghosts, long-buried, long dead. He sighed. “Yeah, that’s right.”

            “You remember what I wore to Epsom?” She went to turn around but Tommy stopped her. He hadn’t even started on the first button of her dress.

            “Could probably remember a lot of things you’ve worn.” He admitted and slowly did up the buttons of her dress. “You wore purple when you first said you loved me. You wore blue when you showed up at John’s wedding. You wore blue to my wedding too. You wore green the last time I saw you before you left for Boston. And you were wearing red when I came to get you. You wore purple when I proposed in Scarborough.”

            Kate felt tears welling up in her eyes. She had never known he paid so much attention to her at such an early stage of their relationship. “What about at the Moulin Rouge?” She asked, her voice shaking with emotion. “What was I wearing when we first met?” Not even she could really remember. She recalled Tommy looking very well dressed but couldn’t quite recall what she had on.

            “Black but then you changed into a green dress. Then you wore purple the next day.”

            She turned around. “I can’t believe you remember all of that.” She said touching his cheek.

            His thumb came to swipe away the tear that slipped down her cheek. “When you were gone and I was in hospital, my worst fear was never seeing you again. My memory was already fucked after the surgery. So, I put all my effort into trying to hold onto the memories I had of you. It didn’t matter if I forgot everything else. As long as I remembered how you looked and the way I felt around you, then I’d be okay.”

            Kate smiled through her tears. “Tom…”  

            “You don’t have to cry, love.” He hushed softly and kissed the corner of her lips.

            Her laugh was interrupted by a hiccup. “I know. It’s probably the pregnancy. Ada said I would get weepy for no reason sometimes. It doesn’t help that you’re being this way.”

            He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. “Can’t help it.”

            “So, I can guess that because you’re in a good mood, tonight is going to go well?” She asked hopefully.

            He nodded. “It will, you’ll be perfectly safe.” He sealed the promise with a deep kiss, pressing his hand into the small of her back.

            There was a knock downstairs and Arthur called out to his brother. “C’mon, Tom!”

            Kate reluctantly pulled away. “I’ll see you later?”

            “Pol, Lizzie, and Ada will come to pick you up. You’ll all be escorted there, so there’s no need to worry about anything.” He said softly.

            “Okay.” She felt a little more relieved and less anxious about the event as he kissed her lips a couple more times before he unraveled himself from her.

            “And tell the girls to watch how much they drink.” He warned before leaving the bedroom.

            Kate smiled. “No promises.” Perhaps this would finally just be a night they could all enjoy themselves. But she was forgetting the first rule she had always followed in life. Trust your instinct.

 ~~~~~~~~

            There wasn’t much Kate could do about Ada bringing along a giant bottle of gin. Besides, she wasn’t going to stop her future sister-in-law from having any fun. That would just be unfair.

            “I’m glad the dress worked out.” Polly smiled as Kate got into the car with them. “Did Tommy get to see it beforehand or did he go early?”

            “He saw it.” Kate smiled. She wanted to tell them all about what he said but decided to keep it to herself. She wanted it to be a special moment kept between the two of them.

            “Guess who I heard showed up,” Ada said. “A few women from the Forty Elephants.”

            “Really?” Kate lit up. What was once a night she had been dreading was starting to become more like a party. She had a sneaking suspicion that Tommy was in on it too. Maybe he was hoping to give her a nice fun evening. Or maybe, he was trying to distract her. “Oh, I can’t wait for you to meet them. They’re a treat.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~     

            Alice Diamond apparently got the news that all the women were dressing up for the affair. Or there just wasn’t a time or a place where she wasn’t dressed up. She and Maggie Hill turned heads as they entered the venue. The mysterious women were quite a sight to be seen in Small Heath. And they were joined by Ruby and Lillian who walked arm in arm, daring anyone to make a comment about how close they were. There was another woman along with them that Kate didn’t recognize when they approached the Peaky ladies.

            “Oh, Kate.” Alice embraced her and kissed her cheeks. “We heard all the awful news. That bastard-”

            “It’s okay,” Kate assured her gently. “I just hope Sabini hasn’t been giving you girls any trouble. I told Alfie to keep an extra eye out for us.”

            The glamorous woman rolled her eyes. “That moron doesn’t know when to quit. Once those Americans are gone, he’s going to have a big problem on his hands. But enough work talk. I want to see how Birmingham puts on a show.”

            Kate laughed. “Let me introduce you. This is Polly, Tommy’s aunt. Lizzie Stark, his assistant, and Ada Thorne, his sister.”

            “Alice Diamond.” She greeted them. “My associates, Maggie and Ruby. And this is Lillian and her sister Mabel. Kate, I don’t think you’ve met her.”

            “No, I haven’t.” The woman looked to be older than Lillian by a couple of years. She had a similar soft charm to her just like her sister. But she appeared more timid than any of the Forty Elephants leading Kate to believe that she may not be involved with the organization.

            She wore a more modest dress than the others, and her hair wasn’t bobbed like theirs were either. That’s when Kate noticed a simple gold necklace resting on her collarbone, the charm was a Star of David.

            Kate could remember Lillian mentioning how her family was fairly conservative and approved of neither her lifestyle nor her relationship with Ruby. She wondered if maybe they were a part of the Orthodox community in Camden Town.

            “Mabel, this is Kate Lynch. She’s the one Alfie always talks about, she’s engaged to Tommy Shelby.” Alice explained.

            “Oh, of course.” Mabel nodded. “It’s nice to meet you, I’ve heard so much about you.”

            “She was jealous until she knew you were engaged. Alfie always raved about you and Mabel fancies him.” Lillian smirked.

            “No, I don’t!” The woman’s face went completely red.

            It was like a lightbulb went off in Kate’s head. Oh, she’d prove Tommy wrong alright. She was already scheming a plan to make sure Mabel would by Alfie’s plus one to their wedding.

            She smiled at her and touched her shoulder. “Come and sit with me so we can get to know each other.” Kate encouraged as they all began to walk to the front row of seats by the boxing ring. “You know I think Alfie might be here tonight.” She hinted just to gauge Mabel’s reaction.

            It was clear as day as the pretty woman perked up and looked a little nervous. “Really? I mean…I know Goliath is fighting but I didn’t know-”

            “Kate?” There was a soft hand on her shoulder.

            She turned to smile at Tommy who was waiting for her. “Hi.”

            “Ladies, you all look very nice. I’m glad you could make it.” Tommy nodded to Alice.

            “Of course, Mr. Shelby. Wouldn’t miss it for the world. It’s always fun to watch Goliath beat someone to the brink of death. I hope your boy made a will.” Alice teased with a cocky grin.

            “Looks can be deceiving, Miss Diamond,” Tommy replied then bent down to whisper in Kate’s ear. “Alfie wants to talk to you.”

            “Oh, okay.” Kate stood up to follow him to the back area of the venue. The further away she got from the excited buzz of the crowd, the more dread sank into her stomach. Instinct was not something to be ignored. And there were alarm bells ringing in her ears.

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla @biba3434 @kimmietea @karmezii @enrapturedbythemoon @vampgirl1997 @tarafaithe @evelynshelby

Tag list: @radical-gecko @actorinfluence @meltingicequeen @merlettina 

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[anime-lover-forever-1127]

Saiyan Mates {Son Goku} - 2. Stretching

Stretching

*****

Disclaimer - (Cause fanfiction is tricky ground and I hope not to offend the creator of the original story and get sued)

I do not own "Dragon Ball", it belongs to its original creator Akira Toriyama. This is only a fanfiction that I was inspired to write by the original work. Please support the official release. Most of the media - such as the art and illustrations, gifs, video's, etc. used in this fanfiction - are from the web. Thus, most of them aren't mine (because I really, really can't draw) unless mentioned. To fit the story, images are also edited by various apps and websites. So they aren't mine, just edited.

Also if you own a picture or Video that I found online, and you either want your name added, or me to take it down. Please contact me and we can talk it out. P.s. I also ask that you do not copy my work and publish it onto any other website.

If you're gonna use my idea, please ask me (If you ask nicely, I for sure, will agree). If I don't contact you within a week, then just assume I'm giving you the all clear and go for it. Just remember to credit me.

I will be writing out scenes even if my Oc isn't in them. As long as she's mentioned, or influencing the characters in some way. Or maybe because it influences the story. This may seem a bit annoying. But that's just how I write. I like to embed my characters into the story line. Because of this, most of the dialogue/scenes will come from the original work.

Warnings: Spoilers for Dragon Ball Z episode 11, Mentions of killing and death, Mates, Cursing, Violence

*****

Today's Special (Curse word involved)

"You want a whore, buy one.

You want a queen, earn her."

~ Cersei Lannister

*****

{Atena P.O.V.}

I woke up with a yawn, my eyes fluttering open. I was already expecting this. Sleeping gases never worked on me for too long, so I always needed two doses, versus Vegita and Nappa's one dose.

I turned to stare out the pod's only window and grin as I saw a planet in the distance. I rubbed my stiff neck, hmm, maybe stretching my body would help a bit.

I turned on my communication device, "Nappa, Vegeta! Get up!" I screamed as loud as I could.

I heard a groan from Vegeta, "God dammit Atena." He cursed as he woke up.

I smirked, "You up or-"

"I'm up!" He growled out. "But that idiot clearly isn't. Nappa, wake up!" He commanded.

The older man grumbled, "I'm awake. What's going on?" He asked, confused.

"Nothing much. But Atena wants to make a stop and stretch a bit, get some exercise." At this point, Vegeta didn't need his sister to tell him what was on her mind. He saw the planet and knew what she had wanted instantly. "Planet Arlia is right over there. Maybe we could sell it for a nice price."

I nodded, "I'm pretty sure that the party from Araclion is looking to expand. They'd be more than happy to pay a pretty penny for Arlia."

"That sounds good." Nappa agreed, turning on the lights on his space pod. "I hope these Arlians know how to fight. We haven't had any real competition since I can remember."

We then set a course for Arlia. Once we had entered the planet's gravity, we let it pull us down. And landed with a bang.

I climbed out of my pod, only to stare at a complete waste land with broken ruins scattered around.

"Aww man, what a mess. Not much is there." said Nappa from behind me.

"Obviously not." My brother rolled his eyes. "Let's have a look around shall we."

I sighed, "Sure, nothing better to do."

I watched Nappa pat a pillar lightly, only for it to crumble upon impact. "Are you sure you can get a high price for this planet?" He asked me.

"Doubt it." Vegeta answers.

But I shook my head, "On the contrary. As boring as this run down planet is, it's actually a selling point. We could actually charge more on the basis that the people buying it wouldn't need to tear anything down."

"Let's check around a little longer." Says Vegeta.

Our scouter then begins beeping as the ground near us bursts open and two large, blue caterpillar-like creatures attack us. My eyes zone in on their heads, Where two smaller aliens appear to be riding them.

"You are trespassing on Arlian territory." One of them says to us.

"Make one move and we'll blast ya." The other adds. "It was a good day to go hunting after all."

"Let's give them a proper welcome." His friend snickered.

I stare at the two creatures, unimpressed. I turned to my brother, "A proper welcome would be at least 1000 men, for each of us."

My brother rolls his eyes, "Oh please, just look at them. They'd need 10,000 just to land an attack."

"Let's just blast them." Nappa suggests.

"Eassy." Vegeta commands him.

"Surrender peacefully or face the consequences." One of them threatens.

"No." The Saiyan prince answers.

The bug looks surprised, I think at least. It then quickly says, "You left us no choice. Prepare to be destroyed then!" It fires a red beam from his mouth?... I think.

I can see it hit me, but don't feel a thing. The only trace it leaves is the dust that kicks up from the ground.

"That's the end of them." I can hear one of them say.

I let out a yawn, as the other two gasp to see us continuing to stand in front of them as if nothing had happened.

"Surrender at once!" They shout.

"Yeah! Make me!" Nappa screams back.

'Nappa. Surrender to them.' My brother commands us, through the familia bond.

I stare at him, not amused. 'Come one, let's have some fun, we're here.' He tells me.

I sigh, relenting. 'Fine. I'll play along with your little game. But if this ends up another stupid, wimpy male trying to mate with me, your going to owe me. BIG TIME!'

We extend our wrists forward as the two bug-like aliens begin rejoicing, "Yeah, they're giving up."

"I guess we're too much for them." His partner adds.

"They sure are ugly."

"But they'll be good entertainment for the king. Especially the women." One of them says, cuffing my wrists.

I feel my eyebrow twitch at the comment, 'Screw you Vegeta!' I curse through the link.

*****

I yawed in bordem as we were carried in a cage, pulled by the large insects most likely towards where their king is. 'Well if he's a king, he should at least have some guards.' I told the other two.

'That's exactly what I'm hoping for.' My brother responds.

As were herded into a jail cell, the man cackles, "You should be glad to know your cell doesn't have any rate. The prisoners ate them all."

"Oh, joy." I comment drily.

"Why you!" The bug-like creature shouts.

"Wait!" His friend pulls him back. "You know the king prefers his women to be mark free."

"Remind me to get that guy." Nappa growls.

"Sure." I shrug. "But the king's mine." After the sexist comments I can just feel coming my way, I'm deserve to be the one to end that pathetic life, so I'm calling dibs.

"Look at those aliens!" I hear from my left.

"They sure are ugly."

"Maybe they think we're the ugly ones." Another adds.

"Speak for yourself." His friend grunts back.

"Be quiet all of you. It doesn't matter what they look like. They're stuck in here just like the rest of us." One with a golden bangle on his arm chastises the rest of the group. "They're just more victims of that tyrant king. Locked away and left to rot." he says, rubbing his arm.

Yeah buddy, there's no way I'm pulling the pin on that grenade.

But, apparently, I didn't need to. "I'm afraid you visitors have come at a bad time. The new king of Arlia is very ruthless. He uses the prisoners for his own amusement. He even went as far as to steal my wife Lemlia on the day we were to be married. So you can imagine the pain I feel."

I scoffed, "So he's married and handsy. Isn't he the complete package."

I heard footsteps and turned my attention to two females of the race walking towards the cell holding something... pink?

ARE THOSE FRILLS?!

WHO THE HELL USES THAT MUCH LACE?!

Yeah, hell no!

I turn to my brother, "I'm done." And with that, I blast the cell bars open with an energy blast.

The guards instantly begin filling in, only to be met with the same fate as the cell blasts.

"Couldn't leave any for us?" My brother raises an eyebrow.

"Oh come on. Perhaps the ones upstairs may be stronger, though I doubt it." I suggest.

We walk upstairs and to the loudest room in time to hear the king calling for us.

"Don't put yourself out." says Vegeta, "We're already here."

"What's the meaning of this? Why don't these prisoners have an armed escort? And why is that female dressed in such a manner?"

"Dressed? You mean that pink monstrosity? Yeah, you wouldn't catch my dead body in that!" I scoffed.

"I don't know my sire." The alien next to him answered. "No orders were sent to the dungeon."

"Your guards met with an unfortunate accident." Vegeta answered.

"How dare you?"the king shouted, "Soon it will be your turn to be met with an unfortunate accident!" He screams at my brother, and then turns to me. "And you! You should be honoured that I even considered you."

I raised an eyebrow, "Oh please. You aren't even strong enough to be considered my pet, let alone my mate."

Please, as if I ever consider a man like him. He looked like he wouldn't even be able to pin me down. As a Saiyan it was in my natural instincts to desire a strong mate. My true mate may have died on our planet. But that doesn't mean I'd ever even think of having a child with such a weakling.

The man on the throne growls before turning to the cotton candy like women to his right. "You may not want to watch this my dear."

I sighed in exasperation and put a hand on my hip, "Yeah, sure. Tell her to turn away after you were just talking about doing things with another women, you disgusting pig."

"Why you! My guards shall make short work off this repulsive creatures."

"Really?" My brother asks in mock surprise.

"Ah, let's see." The man nodes, tapping his finger. "Yes, we'll test the big one with the shiny head against our champion in combat. The little one may go next, and we'll save the women for last. Now teach them a lesson."

A large alien from behind us then jumped at Nappa, only for Vegeta to shoot a line of energy blast out of his index finger and middle finger. Blasting his head clean off, and killing him instantly.

"Huh? I guess that makes you the new champion Vegeta." Nappa comments.

My brother chuckles only for the king, still calmly counter with. "Not bad. But 10 of our finest warriors have already mastered techniques using energy just like yours."

"They have?" Vegeta asks, turning around, "Interesting. We'd like to fight them."

I nod, "Who knows. Maybe I'll finally get to stretch a bit."

"Ready?" The saiyan prince asks.

The king let out a cry of outrage, "I'll see you suffer for your insolence!"

"Yeah, whatever." Nappa responded, "Can we get on with this already."

"Ah, how dare you!"

I chuckled, "Easy, you just need to spit out the words."

His 'elite' guards became to surround us, and fire off a red energy blast from their mouths in unison.

I touched the small sparks that were left behind. "How weak." I sighed.

"Was that it? It felt real good. It was refreshing." Vegeta antagonised them.

"Oh. I'll make you pay." The king growled. "If you think you can just walk out of here. You're sadly mistaken."

"You know what's funny, Vegeta?" I turned to my brother. "He keeps saying 'I' as if he's going to be the one fighting. It's hilarious."

"Guards! Attack! Destroy them!"

I sighed, "All right. Play times over." I created a circle of energy around me, and then expanded it outward. Then, when it was at the feet of the men, I shot the bright ring of energy upward, slicing off various parts of the aliens. Killing them.

"Aww come on Antenna. Couldn't you have left any for us." Nappa complained.

"What's the point?" I asked, rolling my eyes. "They're all weak."

"Open the gates!" The king commanded in fear.

I then began to hear gears turning and a section of the ground in front of us open. And from it, a large brown insect rose.

"So it's the giant bug from the ground trick?" My brother scoffed.

I shrugged, "I personally liked the giant rat a little better. It's screams were surprisingly nice."

"You need to destroy these creatures. They're bad. Very, very bad!" The king ordered the giant beast pointing at us."

"That's it!" I growl. "I'm done." I walked over to the king, startling him. "Please die." I smile at him kindly, before flicking his forehead with my index finger, and sending his head flying off his body.

"We're bad?" Nappa asks.

"Well a little." Vegeta answers.

"Correction." I challenge, "We're bad people, but great Saiyan's." I pretend to wipe a tear from my eye, "Oh how proud daddy must be."

Vegeta scoffs, "Daddy's girl."

I smirk, "Oh please, your just jealous that I was the favourite."

The large insect takes a swipe at us, only for us to jump up, like some kind of game of skip rope.

Nappa lands on some steps, and the giant bug gives chase.

"Lucky." I pout. "The only thing maybe worth fighting."

It then tries to lunge for Vegeta, only to miss and lose his balance, crashing onto the ground.

It begins shooting lasers at us, at which point we begin flying around.

"Hey ugly!" Nappa calls it. It thrusts a fist at the bald man, only for Nappa to grab the claw.

The bug begins the whimper as Nappa pulls his claw right out.

The creature makes a desperate attempt to capture him in his hands, only for Nappa to jump away at the last second.

"Hey! I got one more little surprise for you." Nappa then throws an energy ball straight at it, blowing him up.

The remaining aliens began crawling out, and at that point I checked out. "See yeah. I'm going back to sleep." With that I enter my pod, and once again set the coordinates for Earth. Only for once again my inner beast begins crawling around in my mind.

'We'll get some action soon." I tell her, figuring she was just feeling caged. I only hear her mutter something about mate.... before the sleeping gas kicks in, and I fall asleep.

*****

There's an Easter egg up there, did anyone spot it?

Heads up, there will definitely be Chi-Chi bashing. For all of you who like her, sorry. But it had to be done for the sake of the story. Remember, this is a fanfiction, so will by amplifying all her flaws by like 50, which can make anyone seem bad. So don't hate on me, the story, or the real Chi-Chi (and she tries her best in her situation). Because this is just a fanfiction.

Also someone pointed out to me that I accidentally wrote Vegeta's name with an 'i', as Vegita, a couple times. So sorry for that guys. And thanks for pointing that out, I'll try my best not to make that mistake again

Another thing I will be changing is - as the story progresses, Goku's saiyan instincts will help sharpen his mind, and his other senses. So smarter, and slightly darker and possessive Goku.

You can read the other chapters of this story (in order) on Wattpad, Quotev, Fanfiction.Net, Ao3, or Webnovel - Under the username Animeloverforever1127 (Under the same title of course). Or you could shuffle around my tumbler, (I’ll try to keep my tags constant) but I’d go with the first - just seems like a lot less work.

[mojotheroot]

I wish everyone would stop saying

“ Just forget him”

“ Move on”

“ He is not worth it” etc.  The countless pep talks that are meant to help me move on, they seem so dismissive. Like a lack of empathy to my pain and situation. Or an intolerance to seeing my suffering. Because I can’t simply forget and move on because he was and is worth holding on to for me personally. Perhaps that is just hope.

Tricky bitch that it is.

I have at least come to the realization that I am not attracting toxic people.

The truth is that toxic people are not picky.

Sure, they may have a preference for a particular prey. But ultimately, I do not think they are picky about who they destroy as long as they are destroying someone.

The real question is not why the toxic people are abundant in my life but why do I allow them to stay.

That is what I need to change the most.

This sounds a lot more mental positive than claiming that I am “broken”. 

As mortifying as it sounds, I think a toxic person can initially be beneficial to any relationships.

It can ground any ideals that may be impractical.

It is surely a reminder of where you do not want a relationship to go.

It allows the setting of hard boundaries.

The trick is to enforce those boundaries.

When the person has crossed them, it is time to move past it as quick as  possible and let them go.

As easy as that sounds... I give reasonable advice but seldom ever follow it…that kind of shit you know.

All of that said, it still seems a somewhat monumental task to just move on from this heartbreak.

I was once told that for however long you were together you do some math stuff and the result was how long it would take to find some form of solace.

Without putting into account the depth of the connection and what time sentence that carries as well…sigh…I got a while to go before I can safely move on.

The hardest part is the waiting. Damn , I feel like I have waited lifetimes already for a response. And it has only been…only 16 days?  Wait…16 days have passed?! Feels oddly like only hours since our last words but again, it also feels like a lifetime. Shit this is going to be a hell of a ride. It is already bad enough as is.

Sixteen days----384 hours- 23,000 minutes and some change…huh… my mind is a bit shook over that.

All of those hours and minutes have been filled with echoes of the words he once said.

Statements that my mind is struggling to categorize as lies, all while my heart and soul is hanging on to them as canon truths.

I think, for healing purposes, I can acknowledge the reasoning for the depths of my feelings over these statements that are perpetual in my mind.

They came at a time where I was legit mentally broken.

I had given up loving others.

Rather I had grouped the world into two categories:

People that can be trusted because they had yet to figure out how to use me

and

People that were actively not to be trusted because they were using me. 

I absolutely give up on love.

I mean why should I even bother with it when I didn’t even love myself?

Love was a banal attempt at getting closer to another because ultimately you wanted something.

A chemical con-job the brain produces to lull the sense to any potential predator response the brain could possibly trigger (gut instinct can be loud I guess in the initial meeting…maybe it is that predator response…can digest that later perhaps) but really it is just the brain getting us closer for evolutionary purposes if we cut through all the shit and be honest. Not a good premise for a romance novel or poetry.

But it is true.

I digress.

As I said, I had already thoroughly become disgusted at the idea of people as a whole and given all faith in humanity up.

It was just me and the rest of the world were NPC [non playable characters] or distracting side quests completely irrelevant to the main quest regardless of how they may enhance a storyline.

And that is where our villain enters the scene.

He swoops in almost immediately recognizing and acknowledging my pain.

From the start it was intensity of the Sun.

He wasted no time at all.

The first thing was establishing trust.

He did this with kind patience. Listening to me cry.

Just sitting there with a hand on my shoulder. Waiting and saying nothing until it passed.

Then the phrase that I have come to loathe and is likely now the entirely of my reasoning to almost immediately disassociate from a person and be on red alert:

“ You can trust me.”

The first time he said that, I was totally shocked at the ludicrous idea of it.

Trust you? Trust anyone?

What a novel idea but my mind had long ago already established fantasy parameters and boundaries based solely on that phrase alone.

Yet, he persisted.

For some time, he would always seem to find me alone, broken down and in an utter mess of a mental state.

Like he had a radar for the heart ache.

And we would go through the motions, he would comfort me with physical presence or a warm touch.

All sprinkled with kind soothing words.

Then the expansion upon the phrase came as “ You can tell me what is on your mind. Trust me please.”

This was new to me.

Like it stopped me deadass in mid fall to contemplate the idea because it had never before been offered as an option to me.

Sure folks would say I could talk to them about anything before but that was always context based like if I wanted to talk about a shared interest or even how I felt about a particular scholastic or political idea. But, never had anyone offered permission to talk about things that were hurting me.

It was generally presented to us as children in my household that one just did not talk about what was hurting them inside, not unless it was something that required a visit to the hospital. Mental trauma was a product of a weak person.

And be damned if we ever allowed the world to perceive us as such because we already had enough strikes by being poor.

Let the world see you struggle with a smile on your face.

At any rate, the idea of having somebody that wanted to hear why I cry…why I hurt…and mind you this was completely unsolicited by me with any words or actions other than my own distress; had incited a curiosity.

So, the seed was planted.

I resisted it of course.

The soil of my heart was salted and had the sole purpose of wallowing in the misery of whatever current dilemma I was facing.

It was a burial plot.

A place I would die a thousand times per day.

I had put my red alert on but was inquisitive while also dismissing the entire idea as a “ good Christian’s act of kindness” and nothing more than a self-imposed penance for Original Sin.

And yet he expanded the phrase again.

This time, it was the bullet that struck the mark.

I remember that night.

I was deep into my feels.

Almost inconsolable and wanted nothing more than to cocoon myself up in it and let the flood of emotions drown me.

He came to me unexpectedly this time.

Whereas normally he would do a knock on the door or some tentative inquisition as to my need for help.

I was face down drowning my pillow in salt tainted water and he slid next to me on my bed.

Naturally, I jumped in response to this intrusion. Whereas he grabs me by the shoulders and wraps his arms tightly around me. Smoothing my disgruntled hair and cooing “It is okay, it is okay.” I lay there completely consumed by this grief that wracked my very core on a daily bases from a time that seems like since birth.

And then he touches my tear drenched cheek and travels to my downfaced  chin and lifts it like it is the most fragile thing he has ever touched before until my closed by shame eyes were level to his and opened them with a single kiss to the cheek. He said:

“ Please let me help you. Talk to me. I want to help. Trust me. I just want to help. “

I must have visibly shown to him my abhorrence to the idea of trusting because he then used the most sacred three words that is often thrown around like such a mundane thing…he said -I love you.

Now, I have heard this often of course. It is a phrase used so much in Southern families and amongst friends in parting or as a sign of pleasure to any particular act that needs emphasis.

But, this was the first time I had it said to me; albeit in such a serene way, where it was delivered with a penetrate force and I felt it inside.

After those words, I stammered at first the dismissive phrases degrading my obvious mental distress.

He was not taking that as an answer.

He leaned in and held me close. Heart to heart and whispered random things if nothing more than to steadily chisel away my resolve.

Which worked of course but, I was not about to initiate sharing my feelings at this point because it seemed to me futile since I was calming down.

He must have sensed the shift and the settling calm because he stops talking and with no hesitation wipes the tears from my eyes with the palm of his hands and smooths my face with a gentle caress.

And the next step was for me the most intimate thing I had experienced in a long time.

He looked me in the eyes, something I had all but identified at a young age as an act solely reserved for dominance and degradation and he smiled with his very own and asked in a pleading tone if I could learn to trust him, because he would not hurt or betray me with anything we talked about. He just wanted to help me. And then that three word phrase to add emphasis.

I melted then and my mouth betrayed my mind and words came out like a volcanic force.

When the eruption was over, he smiled at me. Smoothed my eyebrows with his thumb and held my hands ( this would become a permanent act of intimacy between us anytime we met henceforth) and we sat up in bed and he held me again.

I shuttered in response to another round of emotional tears and he held tighter and said it was okay, he was there for me. And I stopped.

Because I felt it in my soul that he meant that.

And there it was. I had started to feel again.

It was like a tiny itch at first.

Nagging and begging to be scratched.

Weeks went on, we got closer. And I remember out of nowhere telling him in response to his kindness, I love you...

Damn I was fucked with one phrase and knew it the moment it leapt unexpectedly from my lips.

Not simply the phrase itself but it was the way it felt coming out.

Because the moment it passed my teeth I felt with it’s expulsion the crumbling of the walls I had built around myself.

And he knew it because he smiled with his eyes and embraced me.

I was completely at his mercy when it came to any curiosity about how I was feeling or how I felt about anything at all.

I was enthralled with this new freedom to say how I felt to somebody that legitimately wanted to know and encouraged it.

Every time I would breakdown and ultimately attempt to put up walls he would coax me with his unwavering patience and wield his kindness with the skill of any warrior with a sword and promptly redirect me so we remained open with one another.

Simply waiting until he changed his attention to some other idea or thought was never an option because he remained patient and waited until I would eventually speak even if he had to use prompts.

But it was never an option again for me to simply dismiss and bury my feelings.

So, here I am...flipped and twisted and not entirely sure where things go from this point.

[bryonysimcox]

Spring has Sprung and Life Continues: Week 11, Spain

Another week spent in the Catalunyan countryside as coronavirus lockdown continues. Here are my reflections on the arrival of spring, broad beans, ecological economics and the launch of ‘The Hundred Miler’.

This last week has seen the welcome face of April - signalling that spring is certainly here along with the arrival of Easter. It’s a time associated with new life, new starts, sunny days and longer nights. Even though we remain in full lockdown here in Spain, it feels as though we can draw upon the changing season as a source of assurance.

The week started with something rather special. I finally got to drive Suzi!

When we first bought the van in Summer 2019, I was still only 24, and it was really expensive to get me insured on it. There seems to be a transition point for insurers at age 25, so George and I had always agreed that after my birthday at Christmas, we’d get me on the insurance. But we never got around to it, partly because of the additional expense, and partly because it wasn’t a huge priority, until the start of March. And then of course, we were in Valencia and the lockdown hit, so we had nowhere to drive to even once I was insured!

My first drive here in Catalunya was pretty fun, even though it was just a trip to the supermarket. Because we’re in lockdown, the roads are super quiet which has been great, and the roads around the cottage aren’t tarmaced, so I could do some offroading as well. I’ve since driven a couple more times to and from the supermarket, and it’s so nice to be behind the wheel again. I haven’t driven since we owned our last van, Casper, back in Sydney!

(Images, left to right) My first time driving Suzi the HiAce, and a throwback to driving our last van Casper.

On the topic of Sydney, I have been doing some serious reminiscing. It’s almost coming to exactly a year since George and I flew back to the UK from Australia, and anniversaries always tend to bring on waves of nostalgia. It’s mad to think that a year ago, we didn’t own a van, not least have a clue about where we’d be living in the van! And of course, there’s no way I’d have imagined that we would be stuck amid a pandemic-induced global lockdown. Oh, to have the gift of foresight... 

The year that ensued after we left our friends, jobs, and security blanket of Sydney was an absolute rollercoaster. We naively aimed to have the van built and prepped in a matter of months, and when the van-build rolled over towards Christmas 2019, I felt like an absolute failure for not having finished it sooner. And yet now, upon reflection, I guess it’s not such a bad achievement to have managed to buy and build Suzi the HiAce, both of us get jobs in Manchester and move into a flat there, launch our documentary channel ‘Broaden’ and set off for Europe all in a year.

We can all benefit from a bit of self-reflection to put progress into perspective.

(video) Broaden’s latest video; an overview of who we are and what we’re about. It’s helped me to reframe some of the successes of this last year.

I feel like a stuck record, but food is a wonderful experience which punctuates the repetitive days of lockdown. Last week I wrote about calçots, a deliciously sweet spring onion special to this region and eaten with Romesco sauce. This week, it’s all about broad beans. The garden here is full of them, so I’ve been tasked with picking and podding. Most of them are fat enough to be podded, and are even better if you go the extra mile by blanching them and removing their skins. The smaller ones can be eaten as they are, and make for a lovely crunchy stir-fry ingredient too.

Preparing broad beans can be time-consuming, but also a wonderfully cathartic activity. My granny in Scotland used to have plenty of these beans in her garden, and I remember summer days spent picking and podding with my mum. We’ve stored plenty here in the freezer but have also kept some fresh and I am continually finding ways to incorporate them into our meals. A quick call to my well-resourced mum also resulted in her sending pages and pages photographed from Jane Grigson’s vegetable book: not only with plenty of recipes but incredibly detailed descriptions of the vegetable’s history and qualities too.

(images) Beautiful fresh veggies from the market were a highlight of the week, as well as picking these broad beans straight from the garden. The bowl on the right is what was distilled from podding four huge bags’ worth.

The resurgence in cooking and baking whilst in lockdown is inspiring, but I’ve been thinking about how it affects our supply chains as well.

Just this morning on BBC News I saw an article about dairy farmers having to throw away vast amounts of milk as cafes, hotels and restaurants remain shut, and another article about how there’s been an insane increase in demand for flour, as everyone takes to home baking. Many mills are now working around the clock to meet the demand in the UK and I was especially interested to read that even if there’s enough flour that there’s a shortage of packaging, because usually only 4% of flour produced goes into the smaller bags that we see on supermarket shelves.

Coronavirus has triggered so many changes in how we live and how we behave, that it's wreaking havoc on supply chains like this, and of course, the economy. That said, whilst the negative effects are hard to deny, scientists, economists and ecologists alike are suggesting that we should leverage the situation as an opportunity to reflect on how we all live, and how we might return to ‘normal’ life without just returning to business as usual. I agree: this is a unique opportunity to reassess production and consumption, how we assign value to things, and the economic and political models that we use to govern our world.

The connection between global lockdown, coronavirus, climate change and our economy has really got me thinking.

I recently read an incredible article by ecological economist Simon Mair in Singularity Hub which looked at this relationship. The article pulled together disparate strands that have been on my mind for a while, each related to various books which I’ve been reading, and which I can now see are interconnected. Simon suggests that the Covid-19 crisis could be a chance to “expand our economic imagination”. He explains that coronavirus, like climate change, demands a type of downscaling, counter to the ‘wartime economy’ mentality and massive upscaling of production. 

“If we want to be more resilient to pandemics in the future (and to avoid the worst of climate change) we need a system capable of scaling back production in a way that doesn’t mean loss of livelihood”, says Simon.

The article is full of gems, and Simon explores things such as our current addition to economic growth and productivity, the transfer of healthcare and labour goods out of the market and into the hands of the state, and the social forms that could come from an ethic that values care, life, and democracy. It answers some of the questions posed by George Monbiot in ‘How Did We Get Into This Mess?’, echoes some of the radical economic theories proposed by Kate Raworth in ‘Doughnut Economics’, and parallels ideas of democratic market socialism put forward by ‘How to Be an Anti-Capitalist in the 21st Century’ by Erik Olin Wright which I’m currently reading. Simon’s article has really got me so fired up, in fact, that I’m working on an idea for a new video which explores the topic, so watch this space.

(images) Three fantastic books which I highly recommend.

On the subject of videos, Broaden has been one of the only things keeping us sane! I am eternally grateful to have a creative outlet in times like these, and one which involves a collaborative partnership with George too. Whilst we aren’t able to explore places in the van, or capture footage for new films as we’d love to be doing right now, we are at least able to edit from the cottage and work on promoting the content that we are already releasing.

It feels so tricky to get the right tone when releasing videos during a global pandemic.

We are both conscious of remaining sensitive to the severity of the health crisis, whilst balancing that with the reality that life goes on, and that people still want to see pictures, watch videos and read articles that engage with other topics too. As Broaden, George and I obviously made the decision to launch our documentary ‘The Hundred Miler’ during this time, and I hope that people see it as a celebration of running, the natural world, and human resilience, and perhaps even an escape from the daily news of the virus, rather than something insensitive or badly-timed.

(video) Trailer for ‘The Hundred Miler’

‘The Hundred Miler’ comes out this Saturday 11th April, and we have been overwhelmed by the response already. People have really got behind the project, helping to share it on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube and widen its potential reach. George has been making this film for well over three years, so it feels like an immense milestone to finally have it shown to the world. I don’t think I know many people who hold themselves to such high standards as George, and so to have so many positive messages and people planning to tune in for the live premier on Saturday is the best affirmation of all his hard work that I could wish for. It has been a pleasure to see him create this documentary, and also to have been involved in the production and final stages of its creation.

The Hundred Miler is a film about three Australian guys, taking on the biggest race of their lives; UTMB.

‘Ultra Trail du Mont Blanc’ is renowned in the trail-running world, as one of the most challenging and scenic ultra marathons. The Hundred Miler is an attempt to bring this story to the masses, and we hope that it appeals to non-runners and runners alike, for its underlying themes of companionship, commitment and strength. It premiers live on YouTube at 10am in the UK, which is 7pm in Australia on 11.4.20, and after that the video will be available to watch as a normal video. You can find BTS footage and more information about the film on our Instagram here, details of the launch on the Facebook event here, and the link for the video itself here. You can also subscribe to Broaden’s YouTube channel and set a reminder for when the film goes live.

(video) ‘The Hundred Miler’ which goes live on Sat 11th April.

 It goes without saying: I am really missing the open road and living in a van. And I’m not immune to fear of the future either. But as the days and weeks pass, we learn to adapt to changing circumstances and continue to find hope among them. In a way, it helps to know we are all in the same boat, facing a topsy-turvy life full of roadblocks and revelations. Thanks for tuning in to read my weekly ramblings and I hope you’re all keeping as well as you can be. Until next week!

[subconwell]

Title: (Refusing to) Give Up the Ghost Characters: The Snatcher, the Conductor, Hat Kid Description: The Conductor wants a surefire way to beat his rival, and isn't above playing dirty to get what he wants. The Snatcher, however, has other plans. Word Count: 2,985

This is a piece I wrote for the Picture Perfect Zine since I got the greenlight to post it to social media! If you enjoy it, please feel free to leave a comment and kudos here on its AO3 page!

All of the chapters are available already, but if you’d prefer to read it on Tumblr, I’m posting the entirety of the fic under the cut.

“Hey, yer the one that writes up contracts, right? I’m interested in striking up a deal.”

Snatcher recalls, in one of Hat Kid’s various attempts at “quality time” with him, some mention of a small, angry bird that yelled a lot. What was his name again? Director? He can’t be bothered to remember more than that. All he knows is she was wrong about one thing: that is definitely not a bird. Maybe more like a piranha?

“I am,” he answers, “but I’m not interested. Get out of my forest.”

Normally, he’s all for taking people’s souls if they freely offer them up. How could he refuse something so easy? However, he can sense something is off about this one, but he can’t quite put his finger on it. It’s not something he wants to put up with today, especially if it’s unsolicited.

“Eh?” He looks confused. “I was told ye wrote contracts!”

“By who?”

“The lass explained it all to me!” The bird puts his hands on his hips, huffing. “Ye took her soul and made her sign a contract! I’ll give up a soul if it means you can help me!”

Ah. As soon as he mentions his soul, what’s off about the other clicks. It’s difficult for the ghost to suppress a laugh upon breaking this news to him. “No can do, birdbrain! I can’t take your soul if you don’t have one!”

“What!?” His yell would’ve blown out his eardrums if he had any. “Who ye callin’ a birdbrain!?”

“That’s what you take issue with?” Snatcher asks. “Not the fact that you don’t have a soul? Really?”

“Of course I don’t! I work in the movie industry!”

“That’ll do it.” The ghost pauses for a moment. “Why were you offering a soul that you don’t have?”

“It’s not me own soul, it’s a soul I got from someone else!” Although Snatcher didn’t sense a soul inside of him, he can sense that he has a soul on his person. An owl’s, to be exact. Interesting. “Will ye listen to me now, or what!?”

Well, that’s new. He doesn’t want to say he’s intrigued by this information, but someone using another person’s soul because they lack one of their own? That’s just enough excitement to warrant his attention. Shutting his book, he leaves his chair and slinks himself over to the bird’s side. “That’s intriguing! Surprisingly, I haven’t heard that excuse yet, but it’s not often that movie directors come through here!”

“Wait, how’d you know that I’m a movie director?”

Looks like he remembered a bit too much from the kid’s stories. He doesn’t need to know that. “Lucky guess! What, is your name the Director too?”

“The Conductor.”

Scratch that, he doesn’t remember as much as he thought. “Can’t win them all! Anyway, enough of that.” Snatcher puts an arm around the Conductor, who tries to shove it off immediately. “I won’t ask where you got this soul from, and you’ll tell me why you came here. How does that sound?”

“Great! Get yer arm off of me!”

“I don’t think you’re in a position to be making any demands.”

“And I think I could just keep what I have and not give ye anything at all!”

The underhanded nature of this man shouldn’t surprise him considering he took the soul of another for his own gain. How does someone besides him do that, anyway? Then again, he’s witnessed weirder things, so this is something that isn’t worth questioning extensively. He moves his arm off of the other, deciding it would be more fitting to tower over the Conductor instead. “You’ve made your point, but like you, I’m not a patient man. What are you trying to get out of this?”

Snatcher is expecting something dramatic to warrant coming to his forest. Only someone desperate and possibly seeking revenge (or something just as nefarious) would seek his help. Maybe he shouldn’t get his hopes up, but everything about this encounter has heightened his expectations.

“I can’t allow that no good DJ Grooves to win Bird Movie Awards! He needs to see how much better my movies are!”

And, just like that, his high hopes were crushed. Amazing how that works. “What? That’s it?”

“What, can ye not do it?”

“It’s not that,” he answers, “it’s just not the request I was expecting. You sure you don’t want your rival dead? I’m pretty sure that would solve all of your problems.”

“What!? No! If he dies, it’ll be by me own two hands!”

“You can’t use those two hands to do it instead of rigging the competition?”

“I can’t murder and direct a great movie, now can I?”

“If you included it in your movie, you could, you know, kill two birds with one stone! ” Snatcher laughs at his own joke, but the other isn’t amused.

“I just don’t want him to win,” the Conductor says. “My usual tactics aren’t gonna cut it this year, so yer all I got!”

“You ever try actually competing?”

“Once. It’s why there’s only one award I haven’t won in all my years of doing this.”

“Have you considered the fact that you might not be cut out for the movie business after all?” The Conductor glares at him, and Snatcher can only grin back. “I’m only kidding! C’mon, you just need a little help from yours truly to focus on your movie! I can make that happen for you.”

As difficult as it is for him to keep his mouth shut, at least he managed to bounce back from potentially losing out on this deal. Maybe now would be a good time to mention how little control he has over competitions he’s never heard of, but hey! It’ll be his fault if he doesn’t read the fine print on the contract! It’s not like he asked to win, after all!

He’ll deal with the fallout later, but for now, he’ll be satisfied with the stolen soul he’s been offered.

In an attempt at expanding his library, Snatcher recently picked up How to Kill Birds (since To Murder a Catbird, while a good read, wasn’t exactly what he was aiming for). With all the work he’s had to do for his forest lately, he hasn’t gotten the chance to sit down and give it a proper read. Telling the minions to leave him alone for the rest of the day, Snatcher cracks the book open, finally relaxing for once.

That is, until a certain yellow bird came in, fire in his practically nonexistent eyes. How he wishes he actually read the book before this sucker’s untimely yet expected presence. Of course it didn’t work out, what was this guy expecting?

After much ranting and raving from him, he comes to the end of his tirade. “I thought ye promised I’d win!” The Conductor huffs, shaking his fist at the ghost before him. “Ye can’t even fulfill a simple promise after I’d given ye a soul ye lousy, pool noodle lookin’, jack-o-lantern faced, PECKNE —”

“Okay, cool it,” Snatcher says, shutting his book and putting a finger on the bird’s fist to lower it. He punches him in retaliation instead. “Wow, ow, that hurt so much, you really showed me. Look, tell me exactly what happened instead of coming in yelling at me. Did your rival win?”

The Conductor tries to take another swipe at Snatcher, but he’s too short to reach his target. “No! Neither of us won!”

“In that case, you got exactly what you wanted,” Snatcher says smugly. “DJ What's-his-face didn’t win. I specifically remember you requesting that.” Remembers so much that he can’t even recall the rival’s name, apparently. “What, were there other competitors that happened to make a good movie for once?”

“No! ” He doesn’t even stop to take a breath. The Conductor tries to make use of his pent-up anger by stomping on the ground. “One of me owls that wasn’t even entered won!”

That’s exactly when he realized there’s been an unfortunate mistake on his part, something that even Snatcher himself couldn’t see coming: the soul he made a contract with ended up getting what the Conductor wanted. A rare side effect that he didn’t see coming, but at the same time, nobody has dared to use the soul of another. Guess that’s another thing to add to the contract, he figures. But, here’s the tricky part: Does he tell the Conductor that’s what happened, or is it a good time to bluff?

“Oh, I guess you didn’t read the fine print after all! What a shame.” A few white lies won’t kill someone that’s already dead inside, Snatcher figures. 

The Conductor, on the other hand, is not reacting well to this news. “Fine PRINT!? YER TELLIN’ ME I SHOULD’VE READ THE PECKING THING!?”

“That’s how contracts work? I don’t see what the big deal is,” he says, shrugging and sitting back in his chair. “You signing it meant you read it, which you clearly didn’t.”

“YE DIDN’T TELL ME I HAD TO READ IT! ”

“Sorry! Not my problem.” Snatcher doesn’t sound sympathetic at all. “I fulfilled my end of the bargain. I can’t change the result, nor can I give back the soul you gave me. It’s mine now! Maybe it’ll do you some good to be more specific next time.”

“Oh, that’s RICH comin’ from you! Not even gonna tell me what happened there either?”

“To be fair on myself, you didn’t ask.”

“And you didn’t tell me! I shouldn’t have to ask!”

Arguing about this is pointless, but it does add some excitement to his otherwise somewhat-dull afternoon. However, he’s already bored of this particular line of conversation. Letting out a dramatic groan, Snatcher replies, “ Fine, have it your way. Here, let me show you what you signed up for.”

With a snap of his fingers, the contract (with a new clause added before the Conductor could notice) materializes before the bird. Will it occur to him that Snatcher admitted to not knowing what could happen, and wouldn’t have something like this on the contract in the first place? Of course not. He’s too blinded by anger, after all. Snatcher watches as the Conductor holds the piece of parchment closer to his face, and lets out a small chuckle.

“Eh?” He looks up. “I heard that!”

“Oh, no, it’s just hilarious watching you try to read that with your lack of eyes.”

“I have eyes, peckneck! ”

“You definitely won’t have any if you continue to yell at me.”

The Conductor frowns, but looks back down at the contract, trying to find this fine print that the Snatcher spoke of. Already bored of him trying to make heads or tails of it, the ghost looks back to the book he was starting to read and focuses on it again. It’s not like the Conductor is smart enough to realize he’s been tricked.

“Huh.” The Conductor scratches the back of his head, not looking away from the parchment he’s holding. While he’s still frowning, it’s less out of anger—no, it seems he might feel regret, if Snatcher had to take a guess. Like he cares.

“You should be on your way now,” Snatcher says. What more is there to say about this entire situation? The Conductor did this to himself. Anyone who dares make a contract with him voluntarily is at fault for their own misery. It’s always been that way, and it always will be. “As much as I’d love to be able to, I can’t go back in time. You’re going to have to deal with what you’ve done.”

It only becomes a problem when the Conductor continues to stand there, not moving. “I ain’t leavin’, not until ye give me soul back.”

“Okay! Can’t wait to see you leave in about a day or so. Good luck!”

As it turns out, he didn’t end up leaving at all, and Snatcher’s patience has run thin.

If Snatcher thought having the kid around was annoying, this yellow bird is especially a thorn in his side. Refusing to leave Subcon Forest, the Conductor squawks out his demands, claiming he’ll leave as soon as he gets his soul back. He saw through Snatcher’s tricks, annoyingly enough, and refuses to take no (or any of his blatant lies) for an answer. It’s been well over a week. He’s sick of this.

This bird isn’t so stupid after all, and he hates to say it, but Snatcher underestimated him. Reading How to Kill Birds didn’t have a section called “how to get an annoying pest to leave your forest for good,” so he had to do the next best thing: consult someone just as annoying.

“Hey bestie!” Hat Kid waves, smiling to Snatcher, whose elbow is on the armrest and head in his hand. “Are we finally gonna play?”

“Absolutely not.” He regrets this already. At least, that’s what he’s telling himself. “Don’t take this the wrong way, kiddo, but we’re still not friends.”

“You know there’s a word for people like you?” The young girl puts a hand on her chin, deep in thought. “I think it’s called a soon-deh-ray? I heard it on TV once!”

“What!? No! I’m not whatever that is!” Snatcher has no idea what she’s talking about, but if the kid sees him as that, then he wants no part in it. “Look, I called you here for a specific reason.”

“Because you’re lonely?”

He sighs deeply, not even trying to be dramatic this time. “I need you to help get rid of someone for me.”

“The Conductor?” She gestures to the bird, whose arms are crossed and foot is impatiently tapping. “I said hi to him, but he said ‘ay I’m busy lass’ or something like that! Anyway, he doesn’t want to leave, I think.”

“That’s the exact reason why you’re here, kid.”

“I come here anyway?”

Snatcher rubs his temples. “And every single time I tell you to leave.”

“Yeah!” Hat Kid smiles brightly. “‘Cuz I know you actually wanna be friends!”

“No respect for me or my wishes. That’s great.” He leans over, picking her up by her cape. The girl’s unphased. “You want me to say we’re friends, right?”

Hat Kid nods enthusiastically. “Yeah!”

“And you help your friends, don’t you?”

“Yeah!”

Snatcher smiles, but there’s something sinister about it. If Hat Kid is picking up on it, he can’t tell from her joyful expression. “So, here’s the deal: you get rid of that bird, we can spend a day doing whatever friends do. How does that sound, kid?”

There are practically stars in her eyes. “ YEAH! ” Before Snatcher can put her down, she wiggles out of his grasp, bouncing happily toward the Conductor. While he wants to continue his book, he can’t help but glance over to the two of them. They go back and forth, the Conductor raising his tone of voice and insisting he won’t leave until he gets what he wants. After frowning at his response, she suddenly perks up, grabbing the complaining Conductor by the sleeve toward the Snatcher.

“What are you doing?”

“I got a great idea suddenly!” The Conductor tries to leave, but Hat Kid has a tight grip on him.

“Huh? You do, lass?” Looks like even he wasn’t informed of this change of plans. Considering how impulsive this child is, Snatcher isn’t surprised.

Hat Kid smiles, looking almost too excited to announce what she has in mind. “You both gotta apologize. You’re both too grumpy, so it’s time to be nice!”

“WHAT!?” Their voices cry out in unison, the only bit of teamwork they’ll ever have at this rate.

“I didn’t do anything wrong,” the Conductor says. “I was tricked, lied to, misle —”

“Yeah, did you mention how you practically stole someone’s soul for that? It didn’t even work!”

“No thanks to YOU! I would’ve won without yer meddling!”

“Are you sure about th—”

“ENOUGH!” Hat Kid’s outburst causes the two of them to immediately stop and look to her. For such a small child, she has quite the presence (which Snatcher would never admit to her under any circumstance). “This is why you have to say sorry! You can’t do this forever.”

“I can!” Snatcher says, but Hat Kid glares at him. “What?”

“You’re both not that bad!” She tugs on the two of them. “Say sorry. Please?”

The Conductor and the Snatcher glance at each other for a time, trying to gauge which one will speak up first. They know the girl will keep insisting on this. After a seemingly long silence, the two grumble out half-hearted apologies to each other at the same time. This seems to satisfy the kid well enough, and they’re both too tired to continue this feud for the time being.

“I’ll be back for me soul later,” the Conductor says, turning his back on them and walking toward Subcon’s entrance. “I need to be with me train anyway.”

As much as Snatcher wants to get one final quip in, he knows it’ll just prolong this frustrating encounter. When he’s gone, Hat Kid smiles, looking up at her bestie. “So, when are we gonna play?”

“Never, kid,” Snatcher says, picking his book up again. “I had a part in making him leave, so the deal’s off.”

“Pleeease?”

“No. Get out of my forest.” He glances over, seeing Hat Kid already trying to climb the chair. “Hey! What did I just say?”

“Not that I couldn’t climb up here.” She drops down onto his shoulder.

“Okay! You can’t climb up. Go away.”

“Too late!”

In spite of his previous responses, Snatcher decides to not push the issue any further, turning back to his book as the kid leans on him happily. He’ll insist that he’s too tired to tell her off, but she knows that he might actually like to have some company after the Conductor left.

[lindsaydoeslanguages]

Why I Love Reality TV for Language Learning (+ how to make the most of it)

Reality TV is my favourite type of TV for language learning. Read on to find out why + learn how to make the most of it.

Your Personal Netflix Language Study Pack

The thing I don’t like about Netflix is how stuff gets lost in my Watchlist and then I end up watching the same stuff.

And when it comes to using it for language learning, sometimes you want to sit down and really use it well to improve my languages. But it’s tricky to know where to begin.

I figured you might have the same problems from time to time. So, I made a printable and digital Netflix Language Study Pack to help you really use Netflix for language learning.

Click below to get your personal Netflix Language Study Pack now.

I grew up in the Big Brother age. I was around 12 when Big Brother first launched in the UK.

At that time, it was tame enough for a 12 year old to watch. They had chickens, they had to budget for their weekly food together, and with the exception of ‘Nasty Nick’, it was all very lovely and calm.

As I grew up, so did Big Brother.

Now it’s gone and here in the UK we have Love Island that seems to have replaced it. Not quite suitable for a 12 year old, I imagine. But I’ve never watched that. I guess I grew up too much. (That said, I do still watch Made In Chelsea…)

So reality TV, at least in its modern guise, has very much been a part of my life from my formative years.

However, when it comes to language learning, it was something I’d never really considered until the arrival of Netflix, and one show in particular: Terrace House.

Terrace House is a Japanese reality TV show that’s more like the Real World than Big Brother. But it’s also not like anything else at all. Here’s a trailer for the latest series at the time of writing: Tokyo 2019-2020.

Cameras film 6 young and aspirational Japanese people (and sometimes ‘half’ Japanese, but more on that later) both in the house and out and about living their daily lives. The daily life stuff often involves modelling shoots, and extreme sports training, or performing gigs. So, you know, typical everyday jobs.

Typical for reality TV it would seem, right? Not exactly.

You see, the beauty of reality TV in different languages is that by default, that involves different cultures.

I’ve learnt more about Japanese customs and etiquette from Terrace House than from any textbook.

Like how you say ‘tadaima’ when you come home and will always get a ‘okaeri’ in response.

And like how it’s totally normal to ask someone who looks a little less Japanese if they are ‘half’ mere minutes after meeting them.

And like how holding hands is a much bigger deal in Japanese dating culture than any Brit on Love Island would have you believe about British culture.

But, spoiler alert, my attitudes to dating were never like Love Island would have you believe to be totally normal for every single Brit. That’s where Terrace House becomes incredibly useful as a cultural resources.

The beauty of Terrace House is that it’s kind of like two shows in one. As well as the main show of the people in the house, there’s also regular cuts to a group of comedians and presenters watching together. This means that when something happens that does seem a little unusual, they’re there to not react or be like “Woah! That was weird!”

This video nicely sums up Terrace House if you’ve never seem the show.

Recently, whilst learning Korean and looking for something to watch that’s not K-drama (I’m sorry, other than Boys Over Flowers, I’ve just struggled multiple times to get into one) I found Hyori’s B&B.

Hyori’s B&B has become my Korean equivalent to Terrace House. It’s giving me the same cultural education that only reality TV can give, it seems.

There’s no second group of people watching to clarify when stuff is “normal in Korea” or not, but there is a slight divide between Hyori and her husband (and to some extent their celebrity staff helpers), and the guests. So sometimes, they discuss each other’s actions in that sense.

Also, differently to Terrace House, Hyori’s B&B has text pop up, obviously added by editors post-filming, which tries to assume how people felt in certain situations.

Here’s a quick intro to Hyori’s B&B if you’re new to that one. This is a random clip but it gives you an idea of how different it is to Terrace House with text and sound effects etc, yet alike in the mundane simplicity of the whole thing.

So with that in mind, how does this really work? Can reality TV really be used for language learning? Let’s dive in…

How to Use Reality TV for Language Learning

Most of the suggestions would work just as well with any type of TV, but I really just wanted to make the case for reality TV as I know, like me, not everyone loves drama shows!

Cultural Insights

Reality TV can be a great in context introduction to many aspects of a culture, giving you some base knowledge to research further and ask your tutors and language exchange partners about.

For example, I knew from the start of learning Korean that honourifics and respect for elders is a big deal in Korean culture. However, with Hyori’s B&B, I saw this in action when an elderly couple visited the house.

It’s also great to see attitudes to food and drink, for example.

Hyori and Sang-Soon make tea in an almost ritualistic way, with a full tea set on a tray that includes a cup for the initial bloom among other things. Of course, this could just be them or a small number of Koreans that do this, but it’s still an insight into something I don’t imagine many people doing at home in the UK.

Key Phrases in Context

The easiest way to use reality TV for language learning is to listen out for those key phrases that you hear again and again.

With Hyori’s B&B, they say ‘yeobuseyo’ when they answer the phone, which contradicts what I’d heard on a YouTube video!

I hear them say ‘kaja’ when they get ready to leave the house or walk the dogs.

With Terrace House, I noticed the words they say upon entering the house, and the response that everyone already there gives.

These things happen a lot in these types of shows. This means there’s plenty of chances for repetition without boring rote learning!

Read interviews or reviews of the show

A great way to expand beyond the show itself is to find interviews or reviews of the show online to read.

You might even find YouTube videos or podcasts here too, which would work well as extra listening practice. This is much more appealing because it’s on a topic you enjoy.

As I mentioned, I’ve noticed as well with Hyori’s B&B, there’s lots of text that comes up on the screen too.

Onomatopoeia type words and also these presumptuous statements about how the cast are feeling, such as “He’s sad because she’s sick.”

How they know for sure he’s sad and that her being sick is the reason why, I don’t know. But anyway, there’s extra text with that show as I watch, which is a nice bonus.

Stimulus for Free Writing

TV, whether it’s an entire series or an episode, or even a scene, can make for a great stimulus for a free writing piece.

Write a summary of what’s happened, what you think will happen next, or what you’d like to happen next. (See those chances for using different tenses there?)

Write an email, a review for a magazine, a script for a play. Get creative with the format and pick one to help give you some direction and structure.

Maybe even write a poem about the show! You’ve got complete creative control here.

If you’re looking for some inspiration for writing, here’s All The Writing Resources for Language Learning That You’ll Ever Need

Record Your Spoken Opinions

What do you think of the show? Record your opinions spoken aloud.

Of course, this works well as a follow-on activity from the free writing because you can simply record what you wrote.

Alternatively, if you’re feeling confident enough in the language to do it, go in with no plan and just start speaking as soon as you hit record!

Related: All The Speaking Resources You’ll Ever Need.

Change Tenses, People, Gender etc to Test Your Grammar

Pick a topic, any topic.

Just been reviewing how a certain tense works in that language? Watch a clip from the show. Pause it. Change the sentences you’ve just heard to that tense.

You can even expand to create further sentences related to the ones you’ve just switched.

Mindmap Vocab

With my current level in Korean, this one’s my favourite.

Simply watch a clip of the show until you catch a word/phrase you want to learn more throughly.

Start to mindmap that word and do some outside research to learn more related words.

Remember those onomatopoeia words I mentioned that always show on screen in Hyori’s B&B? I spotted one that led me to learning many more through this activity.

To show you how this works, I recorded myself doing it for this video too.

To catch more videos like this, be sure to subscribe to my channel on YouTube.

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[andrea-wreaks-havoc]

So, KSP-2

So, a sequel to Kerbal Space Program is set to be released next year, I'm excited! After watching the trailers on the official YouTube channel, this is what is being added / changed, and here are my thoughts:

1. Interstellar travel. This has been confirmed on both the steam page and the trailers. Another reference to the galaxy has been made by the steam page, so I would imagine that the other solar systems will be orbiting a galactic center, as opposed to orbiting kerbol, as has been done in several mods. However, based on what we know, and the general theme, it's unlikely that procedural generation will be used to creat planets, like in No Man's Sky, so the galaxy will have to be either empty, or really small. But that's just my guess. There is also the problem of scale. The universe is really large. In real life, the nearest star is 4 light years away. Meaning that to get there in a reasonable amount of time, you would either need to go really fast, shorten the distance. My guess is that the developers will use a mixture of both. Scaling down the distances, while also providing very fast means of travel, which leads Into the next addition of...

2. Futuristic Technology. In the developer trailer, ksp 1 was described as having technology from the past, up to the present, which I feel is really emphasised with the Making History dlc. Ksp 2 is described as having near-ish future technology, which seems like the logical choice for a sequel. We see what appears to an Orion style nuclear pulse engine in one of the trailers, as well as a warp engine from the cinematic trailer, all though, that could just be "cinematic" and not and indication of actual warp technology. FTL travel would make sense inside of a such a game, I only hope that it is well balanced, and doesn't take away from both the realistic and enjoyable parts of the game. Introducing FTL travel, or any other kind of OP part could take away from the planning part of the game, having to manage your resources well, so you can't just strap the largest, most powerful engine on a large tank if fuel, and call it a day. Balance is key.

3. Resources and Colonies. Speaking of managing resources, the trailers also confirmed that base building, and resources extraction will be part of the game. I can't speak to what roles these colonies will serve, but we can make the assumption that they will house kerbals, produce science, and extract minerals, basically everything from Ksp 1. The trailers also show special parts for housing kerbals, so I would assume that there is some benefit to housing lots of kerbals, with each kerbal having some sort of resource requirement. Some kind of food and water requirement would make sense, and add some much needed complexity to colonies, as opposed to just a few tin cans full of kerbals. Going back to the minerals part, the steam page describes one of the exo-planets, Charr, as being iron rich, specifically iron. This leads me to believe that the resource system will be alot more complex than the one currently in the game. With multiple different minerals, each having some sort of purpose. While it is speculative, having the capacity to build rockets, fuel and crew them, all at a colony, would be very cool, and much appreciated. Another exo-planet, Ovin, is described as being earth like, a "super-earth". This leads me to the conclusion that there is some sort of difficulty in colonizing more hostile planets, such as Moho, or Charr, and that difficulty is some what taken away by colonizing kerbin like worlds. Terraforming seems out of the scope of the game, but you never know. I do hope that this colonies will act more like settlements, then large spacecraft. I also hope that there is some sort of control over them, more so than just controlling each machine. Not quite Sims City or City Skylines, not that much control, but an amount that fits well with the game.

4. Game Overhaul. While watching the trailers, I was wondering why this couldn't have been made into an update or large dlc. The answer seems to line in that the entire game has been rebuilt, from the ground up, with a new gui, hud, and all that fun stuff. It would simply be to big a change for a dlc. Hopefully this overhaul fixes a lot of the bugs, and makes the game more performance friendly.

5. Multiplayer. Simply enough, Ksp 2 will feature multiplayer. I can only assume that large servers, like you see in Minecraft, are completely out of the picture, though that would be cool. One large problem, which is one that the multiplayer mod for Ksp 1 had to solve, is the problem of Time warp. Since the kerbal approach of just speeding each player up to relativistic speeds, irl, to create time warp, is kind of out of the question, you are left with several options. You could forgo time warp completely, but considering that this game is slated to be physically even larger then the original, that make very little sense. You could have some master time warp, where it is controlled by one player, and is the same for all players, except in maybe some conditions (landing a craft, piloting a rover, eva's, etc), this could be the best option, or at least the easiest and most possible one. The final option is some sort of localized time warp, where everyone can control their own time warp. This, if it works, would by far be the best option, but getting it to work would be very tricky.

6. Modding. People have been concerned about modding becoming restricted as ksp continued it's development, but according to the developer trailer, the sequel will be building upon the modding capacity of the original game, but we can only wait and see. Modding is such a huge and vital part of the game, and it is due to modding that games like Minecraft and Skyrim are a relevant as they are. I really do hope that this is the case for ksp 2 as well. One potential area that modding could really take advantage of, is adding in extra solar systems. This could also, potentially be a way to expand the kerbal universe, literally, without putting to much stress on the developers, adding in fan created solar systems.

7. Hopes. I really do like Kerbal Space Program, and I really do hope that Kerbal Space Program 2 can live up to the original. I hope that it doesn't abandon it's more cartoonish and comedic nature. A proper vr implementation would be nice, similar to the ksp vr mod, which allows you to do most things in vr, including building a rocket, but well polished. A way to build a ship in orbit would fit the challenge a much larger universe brings. We can sort of already do this with docking nodes, but a more dedicated would be nice. Customizable Kerbals seems to have been teased in the cinematic trailer, but that's no confirmation. None the less, it would be a nice addition. I also hope that this Ksp 2 doesn't take away from the original. They do seem to have similar, but different games, so I hope development doesn't go the wayside, just because of the sequel. At the very least, the first game shouldn't be abandoned, and once it's development inevitably ends, I can only hope it's at a good point.

8. Conclusion. I was absolutely caught off guard by the annoncment of a sequel. KSP didn't seem like the kind of game to get a sequel, simply due to it's update driven, open world sandbox style. None the less, I really do hope that Ksp 2 lifts off, no pun intended. And I wish the devs the best of luck.

ps. Maybe get a tagline for the game, like Kerbal Space Program 2: New Horizons, or something.

pps. Please no realistic Kerbins, I'm begging you. Please no.

[flying-elliska]

An extreeeeeemely late DLT really sorry, I’m typing this on the verge of sleep. So I was thinking back to additions you’ve made that made me love this story, and I realized a big one was therapy session scene. You do this thing where you take an existing facet of the show or characters, and then you expand upon it and sort of give it your own spin. From the get go, be it lawyer fic or skamfr, Eliott’s mental illness is a part of who he is. But that’s just thing, it’s a PART of him. 1/

It doesn’t become his single-defining characteristic; he’s never reduced to the “bipolar” one. And yet, his having a mental illness is also not something that can or should be ignored. Because we do go through life slightly differently with a MI, right? I like how his MI is never framed as the reason for his actions and this case he pursues. Actually, Eliott quite vocally refutes this twice when it happens in the story. I’ve seen mental illness be used as a cheap way to explain a characters motives and it’s honestly such a tired trope. I could tell that you treat this whole subject with a lot of care, especially while I read that therapy scene. Loved how Linda dispels all the twisted things Eliott has managed to convince himself of, while also reminding him of all the good in his heart (I’m a sucker for a good positivity sesh) . Just enjoyed this scene in general as like a shout-out to how beneficial therapy is and also a reminder that it’s a normal part of Eliott’s life. It’s also a great bonus that therapy just so happens to be a time when the character has a detailed discussion about their mind frame and we get to see him talk feelings and make decisions. It’s like an external monologue? Is that a thing? Lmao wait that’s basically what dialogue is okay I’m gonna leave it here have a good day Ellie

Thank youuuu

 But there’s always this background tension that he can’t ever be 100% sure of his own mind. I’m not bipolar but I know that with MI there’s always this tension of like…what’s me and what’s my illness and the truth is, there is no clear cut answer. It’s always this bargaining with yourself and who you are is shaped by this condition but it’s not also something that determines who you are either. And it can make finding your place in life and figuring out what you want to do and who you want to do it with damn difficult because you’re always second-guessing your ability to do things and to know your own mind. And most importantly, surrounding yourself with the right people. 

And hyeah krjhkhgd external monologue is right therapy can be a greaaat way to explore a character’s mindset, much more interesting than just inner monologues that go on for pages. I’m glad people are liking the fic so far because tbh i was afraid it would just come over as me finding tricks to hide the fact not much plot has happened yet and it’s basically just characters either thinking or exchanging info like basically Info Dump lmaoo

And yeah therapy is !!! good !!! and should be normalized !!!! and so many more people should go to therapy actually !!! and yeah !!!!