#I guess my trick tricked me myself | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

a-scary-lack-of-common-sense · 3 months ago

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I am exhausted, good heavens.

#hey watch this neat trick I can do [cries]#love that for me #BUT #BUT- the actual EFFORT I put these days to not make a suicide jokes is *chefs kiss* phenomenal #actively shitting bricks as I physically have to stop myself from saying I want a car to hit me for the 50th time that day #I am not progressing any more than I am downgressing or whatever the opposite word is. but girlies #and boysies and peepsies #my lipgloss is popping and my eyebags are gucci- and so I shall prevail #MAN this tiredness is BONE DEEP man- it's like it's engraved into my goddamn clavicles #sorry that was like the only bone name I could remember- I don't even know what a clavicle is #anyways- I need to fall asleep forever and never wake up. But not in like a dying way #I just need to stop waking up tired and being tired and going to sleep tired and living tired like GIRL #WTF AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WHEN SLEEP STOPS SLEEPING #I JUST SLEPT 10 HOURS HOW ARE YOU STILL TIRED #I am so tired that i stopped liking shit- like that SUCKS my dudes #I sometimes Don't Like art now and that is WILD to me because that was lowkey the One Thing that got me going #I used to actually LIKE english class! and reading Shakespear and shit!!!! and history class!! Now I don't!! Where did the spark go??????#Now everything feels like a chooooooore and it sucks major dick #and my graaaades are slipping because I stopped giving a damn but I NEED. TO. GIVE. A. DAMN #because those are like highkey lowkey and every-other-key my grades and I need them to go into uni so I don't die <333 #I need to spite little mini me who said I wasn't going to live past 13 because BITCH- guess how old I'm turning next week????????#THAT'S RIGHT- 17 YEARS OLD- FUCK YEAH BABY I'M STILL NOT DEAD #SUCK MY BIG ASS SHLONG MINI-ME #and then I have a big biology exam the day after so- funnnnn!!#anywho- should I tag this as vent? this probably counts as vent right? like among us? impostor and shit?#sorry I think my brain is actively rotting out of my ears right now #vent post #personal vent #tw vent #tw sui talk

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shalom-iamcominghome · 11 months ago

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My thoughts on jewish politics are nuanced and convoluted in many ways, but if somebody comes at me with the idea of categorizing my thoughts as being in line with the "good jews" or the "bad jews," you've just got to assume I'm not One Of The Good Ones.

#jewish politics #jumblr #jew by choice #jewish conversion #personal thoughts tag #caveat that i am not officially jewish yet and some of y'all (antisemites) still treat me with similar hatred and jew hatred #for some (many) antisemites i'm already too far gone and frankly i'm glad. i'm glad to face their hatred rather than concern trolling...#...or the infantilizing antisemitic 'let me save you from the jews 🥺🥺🥺'. it makes me sick to my stomach either way but at least...#...with the outright hatred you arent trying to bullshit me. i despise when people lie to me or put on façades or use platitudes to trick m #i have never been One Of The Good Ones and i'm not about to start now basically #and i would rather stand with others/other jews (again im in progress but i digress) than stand a second near antisemitism 🙏#like i know at some point i'm probably going to have to have more concrete opinions but now isn't the right time for that #i try to educate myself but i don't for one second want to encroach. in many ways i guess i'm waiting until i am a jew? i dunno 👍#felt i should make this clear in case i do start getting the same shit the jews/fellow jews-in-prgress i follow are #thank g-d i haven't had too much shit on this account but i have already been barraged by actual tumblr nazis who called me the k-slur so h #that happened a While ago (again thank g-d) but that still cemented in my head that i am... maybe ig Too Jewish to ever be safe ever again #if that statement makes sense

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tea-time-terrier · 11 months ago

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I need to know does the fish ever get identified as a different breed or mix and what's the weirdest or funniest one you've gotten

Oh man all the time! Even if people know what a rat terrier is, they have a little piebald miniature in mind and pigroast is...neither of those.

She is most commonly mis-identified as a miniature pinscher (I get it), a basenji (until they see the nub), and a doberman puppy (???).

My favourite was kelpie mix though <3

Funniest dog pike has mis-identified? A German pinscher. She was 100% convinced it was a rat terrier.

#my absolute fav was walking maverick and someone shouting 'nice beagle!'#I've had a lot of younger people apologize profusely about wrong guesses and it's like??? my dude??? you are making the best guess #and you're not that far off??#I am gearing up for our handful of trials this year by mentally bracing myself for Interactions #I am easily overwhelmed and unfortunately that has made me abrupt and I have been too dismissive in the past #there are so many not nice dog people I don't want to be one of them 😭#I need to solidify a party trick so pencilcase can interact without necessarily having to be pet #I am having flashbacks to the little kid and her mom who so clearly wanted some more dog info and I bailed bc I hadn't had pig with kids yet #idk where any of this is going but thanks for the ask!#pig in her heart is a little lap dog #this is just hard to convey in brief stranger interactions where pickeral wants to do her own thing (valid)#ask #turnpike

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sheliesshattered · 8 months ago

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somehow, I don't know how, but somehow sewing machines always know when you're nearly done with a project and pick that exact moment to throw a hissy fit

#sewing #sewing machines #I am so close to finishing this dumb swimsuit that I started in 2020 for a vacation that ended up not happening #and which I stuffed into a shoebox and into the back of my sewing stash when I realized I wouldn't get to wear it in 2020 #then pulled it back out to finish for this family gathering coming up in a few days here #it's a one-piece suit and I hate one-piece swimsuits #and no one-piece has fit me off the rack since puberty so I'm stuck sewing it for myself #but I'm very happy with the design and relatively happy with the finished look #the idea is just to have something that is supportive and modest enough to wear around family #and in particular to wear to something like a waterpark with my nephews #something that won't ride up or fall down or come untied or anything like that #so it has a low-cut leg hole and a high-cut neck #and an entire invisible superstructure in the lining underneath to actually provide support and enclosure and all #it's plain black but it fits and supports and won't fly apart at the seams #but this very last step. oh this last step.#I had to drape the exterior bust area directly on me bc I can't account for curves and stretch and such if it's flat on the table #and then I had to wiggle out of it carefully with a ton of pins in the underarm and neckline area #I'm using a double-needle to top stitch the edges as a finish across the whole suit. it did one underarm and the neckline just fine!#but the turn from where the neckline meets the strap and down into the other underarm it just. won't do it.#it has thrown a fit and created a tangle of thread multiple times now. there are only 4" left to sew! just sew it!#it's not hard! we just did the exact same thing on the other side and it worked fine! but no! gotta throw a hissy fit!#ugh. anyway. I have removed all the thread and needles from the machine and turned it off and basically sent it to timeout lol #wrote this rant and gonna make myself some food and I'll fucking finish those last 4 inches later tonight or tomorrow #and then I have one tiny repair to something else I want to take on this trip. hopefully my sewing machine won't throw a fit over that too #istg the only projects this doesn't happen with are the ones that end with a bunch of handsewing #that's the way to trick my sewing machine I guess. but I'm not handsewing a swimsuit lol #at least I'm not so pressed for time that I can't just walk away from it for a bit. getting close to time to pack but not quite yet #my sewing #2024 mood #tagtalking

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rapidhighway · 6 months ago

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Like, I'm at the point where when I see art that I like I just recoil and feel sick. I do get pleasure from drawing still but it's all wrapped in this feeling of desperation and I just don't know what to do about that. It wasn't like this 2/3 years ago

#idk mannn -_-#I've tried going on a hiatus i tried random tricks from the internet i tried focusing on my own projects #i tried not drawing anything anymore but for college and it never sticks and I feel bad one way or the other ughhhhh #idk if i should be even saying that maybe it's stupid to even mention i feel ashamed to talk about such things anyway #but goddd #i feel like this is just THE artist experience so it's normal and whatever i just gotta push through i guess but it still sucks #and i KNOW it can be different cause it used to be different #it's not even like o think my art looks disgusting or whatever i often find myself feeling really proud for #the way some of my art looks #but it doesn't really change anything to me even though i think it should #ehhh whatever i just feel bad today about a bunch od stuff so im rambling ughhhh

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loderlied · 6 months ago

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sigh

#lord help me i am drawing gravity falls fanart in 2024. anything to distract myself from the horrors i guess #that tumblr post did not get out of my head so i hope this does the trick lol #can you tell i am one of the only alex hirsch human bill design enjoyers.#lmao #gravity falls

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haru-chi · 2 months ago

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I'm sorry if I had worried anyone yesterday ... I didn't mean to ...

I think I even kinda regret having worried my sister because I asked for little help which she couldn't do so got worried ...

I then called my friend after that which was very late at night 3AM .... she got also worried cuz I never ever did that ...

I hate this .... I really do .... because I do know none can help me in this, it's my own battle so why worry them

Wanted to vent here for a bit and I'm sorry if made someone worry ...

#I guess in a way I no longer know what to do ....#I'm not broken mentally yet nor will I allow negativity to take over ... but my body is different matter .... 🙄#but I think I'm emotionally tired since this draining me out too much #you know .... I may never have said it to anyone cuz they'll take it way too negatively and would think I'm being pessimistic 🤷‍♀️#but I did consider many times that this health of mine might kill me one day .. logically speaking mind you #it isn't 0% nor do I mind it much if that's my fate ... more than death I fear dying without getting what I really want in this life ....#wait .... did I make things sound grim ? uhh .. I really don't mean it to sound so ...#that's why I never want to talk about it since people might feel sad or pity me hahaha #I don't pity myself ... pitying oneself would only make you suffer more so rather than that just smile and count your blessing 🩵#in the end it all depends how you see things ... your view of them can save you or harm you #being cheerful and thinking positively doesn't mean to deny your other emotions or that your not allowed to show weakness or such ...#let them out so that you can stay strong and smile afterward ...#the trick is to not let them control you or dominate your life or yourself ...#allow yourself to be weak and cry that's fine ... your human after all so why deny human's natrual ?#ah but if you wanna do it with someone pick the right person to show this to ... sadly most people is self-centertic #I'll stop here ... need a rest #may you all and your loved ones never have any hardship in life and be happy :)

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an-assortment-of-forks · 1 year ago

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there are doctors there are hospitals there are specialists there is medicine there are systems in place so people do not have to suffer and be tortured under their own chronic pain daily and yet. they're all fucking inaccessible to the people who need it most!!! to what I would argue is most disabled people!! I'm so fucking done with the medical system.

#today is an absolutely wretched pain day that makes me want to not be here anymore but guess what!#wasted a whole year trying to convince my doctors I was in significant and disableing pain daily and the best they could do #is tell me to go to PT and to wait 6 months and tell them if it gets better #to prescribe some shit like gabapentin or otc pain meds and write me off #tell me they'll get new X-rays to see if it got worse by the summer #disability exists!! specialists exist! good doctors fucking exist!! somewhere!!! I'm sure!!#but here I sit. in excruciating amounts of pain unable to convince any fucking doctors of anything #and that year I spent pushing myself to the limit is wasted bc at the very end of it all only one guy listened to me #and he said no one in their giant ass facility could diagnose me #so I'm back to square one bc I got a new job which means new insurance and new doctors to try and convince again #I just want to be on disability so i can want to be alive again #I'm so frustrated and in pain constantly #what are people like me who have to work 40hrs to afford to live but don't have any family to rely on supposed to do??#just die? am i supposed to continue to work until im too disabled to move and be profitable unless i get lucky?#bc some fucking doctor finally decides to actually listen???#ive tried ALL THE DAMN TRICKS TOO. telling them a friend has it and thats how i found out. that my previous doctor was looking into it #etc etc #I'm SO done living like this i am exhausted.#and to know that i COULD BE HELPED. RIGHT NOW. is the worst fucking part #these systems are in place so people like me dont have to fucking suffer.#but i cant even do anything about it bc i have a cat.

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thesaltyace · 9 months ago

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Anytime my partner is away overnight, I rediscover that ADHD is, in fact, a whole-ass disability.

#adhd #when my partner is here I mostly base my day off their predictable schedule #like they must take lunch at a certain time so I plan my day around their lunchtime and I have goals to meet by that time and after it too #unfortunately my brain only accepts external structure and is not easily tricked #so I cannot just tell myself '12:30pm is when you take a break for lunch' and actually follow it #my brain's like 'that's a made-up rule with zero real world consequences so guess what? no lunchtime ever.'#which is obviously Bad™️because I do need to eat and I do need to take a break #so I've scheduled stuff to happen midday that will force me to get up and hopefully while I'm up I'll think hey maybe I should eat somethin #🤞

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krawdad · 6 months ago

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Found my old brush pen. Haven't touched the thing in years. It shockingly isn't dried out and still works great. I keep thinking about it this might be enough to get me doodling again.

#hopefully my hand doesn't disappoint me #if i do end up using this more i think I'll probably try to find inks i can refill it with myself #not paying that much for refill cartridges #i think i can probably use this thing like a fountain pen #i just have to go and learn about fountain pen ink i guess #i suspect that a brush isn't ideal for everyone #but i like how you can get such a wide option of line widths out of a single tool #you just have to be precise with it #maybe i can trick myself into doing art again if I'm enjoying how it feels to put actual pigment down on an actual surface #see if i can't be the bill watterson of stupid crap #I'm hoping that this tool requiring a delicate touch will be good for my hand and not make it more challenging #my muscle memory for drawing is all fucked up because my hand and shoulder are all restricted and it's frustrating as hell

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bison-appreciation-club · 1 year ago

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so yall telling me that i am wanted and lovable...

#like. i got invited to someone's birthday and i thought it was at the wrong place #so i went there and they weren't there and in a previous friend group they used to tell me to wait for them in a certain place #and they'd never arrive. and it would turn out that everyone else had gone and were having fun without me knowing i would just be waiting #for them. and so i was like. huh. guess that happened again #but turns out i was just in the wrong place and now i feel like shit #because i feel like it's all gonna be one massive trick and i feel like a dick for not being able to trust anyone #i'm so used to not asserting myself and not saying what i want because i've been taught i won't be lovable otherwise and now i don't know #when i'm lovable and when i'm not. what do you mean i can be lovable without having to do anything first? lmao ok then #and my friends are all so nice to me and i feel bad for being so suspicious because of past experiences #vent in tags #dee rambles #to delete #tw vent

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lamortwrites · 6 months ago

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God I wish tumblr had a better blocking system

#ash.txt #did you know I'd almost clawed myself up out of the hole #but guess what #guess fucking what!#I have poor impulse control and if you show me something I know will actively harm me #I'll still click on it anyway!!!#I hate it here #I HATE it here.#I was almost doing well enough to trick myself into thinking I was doing well #lol #here we are again ig!#I am nothing but a crab and my brain is made up of bigger and stronger crabs and trying again is SO fucking exhausting like what's the point #what is EVEN the point #if it's always gonna end the same way what's the point in even starting. you know.

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depresseddepot · 7 months ago

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I'm trying to find ways to slowly ease my way into taking walks (debilitating social anxiety) so I was going to download pokemon go again but my phone is too old :(