#I guess it’s my secret view of the allo world

[boneless-mika]

Following cosplayers who cosplay characters you’re attracted to is hard enough without them making bdsm content lmao

[arotechno]

Aromantic-Official’s Pride Month 2018 Questions!

It’s time for me to finally answer the weekly pride month questions set up by @aromantic-official! I realize it’s the last week of pride month and I’m only doing these now, but I’m a mod. So I get to break the rules. ;)

I apologize in advance, as this post is going to be a monster.

June 1-2: Pride Month Kickoff!

1. What aro pride merch do you have and/or want?

As of right now, all I’ve got is an aro bracelet that my friend made me for my birthday and a green aro ring that I got for a dollar. I would like to get my hands on an aro flag, and some pins or something... but I don’t have the money to throw at pride merch right now! Subtle merch is also good, as I’m out to precisely 3 people offline.

2. What are some of your favorite aro-friendly songs? (Feel free to make a playlist!)

Here. Or for more aro playlists besides mine, my aro jams tag.

3. What are your favorite arospec symbols?

I guess just the flag (the version that I use in my icon)? Arrow symbolism is also cool. Or, if you’re from the arocalypse crowd: papos. Although that might be a dated reference now...

(weeks 1-4 under the cut because I’m nice)

Questions for Week One (June 3-9):

1. How did you realize you were aro/arospec? How long have you known?

It was the spring of 2014, when I was a freshman in high school. For most of my life, I never really thought about or questioned my orientation. I figured I would know what I was when I felt it. But I always knew I didn’t get crushes, and figured that wasn’t weird and that I’d get them eventually... That didn’t end up happening, as you might imagine. I was never ashamed of who I was, though--not until people made me feel that way, and I realized maybe I really was different or weird. Thankfully, I had stumbled across asexuality, and consequently aromanticism (this was 2014; if you think it’s hard to find information about aromanticism outside of ace spaces now, think about how it was back then), before that point. It just didn’t really click until somewhere down the line. And even then, I waffled on aromanticism vs. asexuality for quite a bit, feeling more drawn to the ace community due to its size and its exposure, and frankly I couldn’t tell which one I was, though eventually I realized that was because I was both! It’s been several years and I’ve grown a lot, and I’ve become more in tune to my aromanticism apart from my asexuality.

2. Have you come out to anyone? Share a coming out story (coming out to yourself also counts)!

It’s funny, I was just thinking about this yesterday. I’m out as aromantic to three people irl, but I’ve never actually properly come out on my own terms. Two of my friends were peripherally involved at the time that I realized I was aromantic, so they were kind of a part of the realization and I never had to explicitly tell them that I had figured out this part of myself. The third friend came to understand my feelings about attraction before I eventually told her the words. But I’ve never had somebody in my life who presumed I was straight that I was able to explicitly decide I wanted to tell that I wasn’t.

In terms of coming out to myself, it took me about a year after realizing I was aroace to say the words out loud to myself. Sophomore year of high school was when I really began to fully accept that this was who I am and that I could say it and be proud of it, rather than it just being a peripheral aspect of my life that I had to pretend didn’t affect me (because we’re so often taught that we’re supposed to be just like everyone else despite our sexuality, but I have always felt that it made me explicitly not like everyone else, and that was the problem). So I said to myself, in the mirror, “I’m aromantic and asexual.” And I started writing it in my journal. At this point, I was in a weird place where I wasn’t even sure my two closest friends knew I was aroace and that it wasn’t just something I had speculated. It took me until the end of that school year to start using the word not only to myself, but to them as well. Even now, I still talk circles around it sometimes. Internalized aphobia is a real pain in the ass.

3. How/Why is your aromanticism important to you/your identity?

My aromanticism shapes how I see the world in a lot of ways. It affects me every day of my life. It influences my views on philosophy, relationships, my experiences with gender... I can’t relate to the majority of the world’s population on such a basic level that I’m often left wondering what my place in the world is and feeling like I’m living in a different universe altogether. It’s frustrating, but it can also be exciting. I’m proud of the way being aromantic has shaped me. I think the ways I view the world make sense, and being aromantic has a lot to do with it.

I consider myself to be an existentialist, and accepting that my emotional wants, needs, and experiences didn’t line up with the marriage/kids/white picket fence narrative that I was always expected to follow really helped me realize that if I don’t have to follow that narrative, then I don’t have to follow any narrative at all. I can do whatever I want with my life, and there’s no cosmic reason for me to do anything else. That’s voidpunk, baby.

4. What are some misconceptions about aromanticism that bother you?

That we’re heartless. That we don’t feel less emotions/weaker emotions than alloromantic people, or generally equating romance with emotions. That we need a QPR or other type of non-romantic partnership to fill a void where romantic relationships “should be.” That aromanticism must modify or be secondary to one’s sexual orientation. That we don’t risk being dehumanized or cut off from people around us when we come out. Arophobia in general.

5. What’s something you like about being aro/arospec? Something you dislike?

I love the arospec community first and foremost, and as I mentioned above I love the way aromanticism shapes my view of the world. I love that the aro community, though we are stereotyped as being heartless, is so full of love and compassion for one another that we can’t even argue with each other, we just have pleasant, generally civil discussions and often end up reaching mutual conclusions. I love that I can make this entire long-winded post about my experiences and not only will people read it, but they’ll appreciate it and respect it.

I hate not being understood. I hate the fact that I don’t want to come out because I’m afraid I’ll have to give an emotionally taxing vocab lesson and/or be dismissed or ridiculed and/or be called a heartless monster. I hate that we don’t have any mainstream representation that doesn’t get ripped from our hands by people who claim we do not deserve it. I hate that there are no aromantic role models in the public eye living happy lives for us to look up to; but then again, I have a secret fondness for being part of a generation that future aromantics will be able to look up to.

Questions for Week Two (June 10-16):

1. What aro-spectrum labels, terms, descriptors, and identities do you identify with?

I identify as aromantic. I also use nonamorous as a descriptor a lot of the time. That’s pretty much it. The term arogender kind of speaks to me in a way (I was there when it was coined!), as my experience with gender does feel influenced by my aromanticism, but I don’t know that I’m particularly inclined to use it for myself. I like to keep things simple, I guess.

2. Talk about other aspects of your identity that are important to you, that are meaningful parts of you like your aromanticism, such as ethnicity, sexual orientation, gender, neurodivergence, mental illness, chronic illness, disabilities, etc.

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m asexual as well as being aromantic. They kind of go hand-in-hand for me, but I’m much more open about being asexual if only because it’s more commonly understood and accepted. Several years ago, I was much more connected to the ace community than the aro community, but in the last couple of years that dynamic has completely flip-flopped. I feel more at home in the aromantic community, as the ace community often feels to me more focused on navigating romantic relationships while asexual, and as an aromantic I really don’t find any solace in that. The ace community has also thrown me and my aro and aroace siblings under the bus multiple times, which often makes me feel unwelcome, unfortunately.

3. How do other aspects of your identity intersect with or affect your aromanticism?

Other aspects of my identity don’t affect my aromanticism that much. On the contrary, my aromanticism affects my gender. I identify primarily as a cis female, but even saying I identify that way feels too strong, as it’s a pretty loose identification. Because of the ways in which misogyny, heteronormativity, and amatonormativity intersect, so much of traditional womanhood is based around finding romance, 99% of the time with a man. There isn’t really a subversive narrative for aro women. And femininity often feels like a costume designed to make me appear straight and allo and proper and headed for marriage. tl;dr gender machine broke.

4. Have any of your identities impacted you realizing you were aromantic, your questioning process, or coming to terms with it?

If you want to get obvious, asexuality directly helped me realize I was aromantic in that I would not have known that aromanticism existed without it. So thanks, ace community. You did do me a solid at one point or another.

Questions for Week Three (June 17-23):

1. What is your favorite aspect of the aro and arospec community?

I mentioned this earlier: I love how open, inclusive, accepting, and willing to have civil and productive discussion the aro community is. The aro community has also given me basically everything, especially the arocalypse gang (hi, guys). Without a community behind me, this blog would not exist, and I would feel devastatingly alone.

2. Are there any notable differences in your experiences in this community and other LGBTQIA+ spaces you have been in?

In general, compared to larger LGBTQIA+ spaces, the aro community on tumblr is obviously a lot smaller and more tight knit, which makes for an inherently different environment. Smaller voices somehow still speak so loud. That’s symptomatic of its size more than anything, and I haven’t been active in enough larger spaces to say much else.

The only other specific LGBTQIA+ spaces I’ve been in are asexual ones, and while there is some overlap between the two, aromantic spaces feel much more inclusive to me. Though that is likely due to the fact that asexual spaces do still put a focus on romance, while aromantic spaces certainly wouldn’t. The aromantic community is one of a kind and an absolute treasure, I guess is what I’m trying to say.

3. What’s one way that the aro community could be better or more inclusive? Do you have any tips on improving in this regard?

I think the aro community could take further steps to improve accessibility (I mean, look at me, I’m writing out this long-ass monster of a post. I’m part of the problem.). But I don’t really have any tips, considering I just broke one of my own suggestions... Don’t listen to me, I’ve got no idea what I’m talking about.

4. Do you think there are flaws in the way that different types of attractions are navigated, discussed, and defined in the aro community?

Yes. I talk about this from time to time on here... This is probably a hot take, but to me, defining types of attraction too rigidly, while it is helpful for tons of people, can often lead to an accidental hierarchy of types of attraction or relationships. For example, putting alterous attraction over platonic attraction, or queerplatonic relationships over more traditional platonic ones. I’m not saying anyone does this, at least not on purpose, but I think it’s at least a potential issue.

5. Do you consider yourself nonamorous, amorous, aplatonic, experiencing queerplatonic attraction, etc., or do you not use those terms? Are you romance positive, neutral, repulsed, or don’t use those labels? Do these answers intersect?

I’m nonamorous and romance repulsed. I’m not sure if they intersect, to be honest.

6. Have you ever been in a relationship you would consider committed, such as a queerplatonic/quasiplatonic, romantic, soft romo, friends-with-benefits, or others? How did being arospec affect that and the boundaries you set?

Nope. Again, nonamorous.

Questions for Week Four (June 24-30):

1. Have you ever participated in any pride events, such as parades and festivals? If so, do you feel welcome at these events? If not, would you want to go?

I haven’t. I would go, but I don’t really know how welcome I feel... And I’d need to go without being suspicious, which is pretty much impossible.

2. Do you celebrate pride month? If so, how do you celebrate? If not, why?

Hell, I’m doing it right now! I’ve been working on these questions with the other mods all month. Thaaaat’s about it, as there isn’t much to do around me except for go to pride, and I already explained why that was off the table.

3. Do you have any creative contributions to the aro community (art, comics, writing, moodboards, music, zines, informational posts, etc.)? Which do you like making the most? If you instead support aro creatives, what category of aro creations do you like best?

Hi, yeah, this blog. Shoutout to any of my followers who have been here since last year when all I posted on this blog was my writing... I guess you got more than you signed up for.

I write primarily short fiction for the aro community. I take soulmate prompts and spin them to be aromantic, and usually sad. Soulmates are a concept I hate with all my cold aro heart, so starting this blog was a mean of reclaiming that idea and making it a little less painful for myself and hopefully other aros. I’ve posted about this a thousand times, so I won’t go into more detail.

4. How do you feel aro creatives have impacted the community? Show some love to your favorite aro creators by @’ing them in this post and reblogging a bunch of their stuff. If you don’t have any favorites, now is a good opportunity to find a few!

Without aro creatives, we would have pretty much 0 content in general, as no one else seems to care about creating anything for us. @aroworlds is doing amazing work not only creating wonderful aro content but connecting other aro creators with one another and spreading the word. @aroacearborvitae makes moodboards and edits that brighten my day every time I see them. @arotryinghisbest is writing a novel if you want to go show him your support!

5. Is representation in mainstream media important to you? What about smaller, niche media? If so, why, and in what form would you like it to take?

Both are important, but for different reasons. I’m so thirsty for mainstream aromantic content that I would sell my soul for just one canon aromantic character on television. We need visibility, and we need people to know that we’re out here and that we exist and that we’re not broken or messed up or lying. But niche media is also important, as it often supports aromantic creators directly, and supporting small creators and media outlets is really important. Niche media can even sometimes be a gateway into mainstream media, if it picks up enough steam. Give me aro characters, please!

And that’s that. If you made it this far, congratulations, and thank you. Happy pride month! See you in the future when I hopefully start posting some more actual content...

[thekoreanlass]

Also known as Tempted (위대한 유혹자; Widaehan Yuhokja) is a 2018 South Korean television series starring Woo Dohwan, Park Sooyoung, Moon Gayoung and Kim Minjae. It is loosely based on the French novel titled Les Liaisons dangereuses by Pierre Choderlos de Laclos. It aired on MBC from March 12–May 1, 2018.

The Cast

Woo Dohwan as Kwon Sihyun Park Sooyoung as Eun Taehee Moon Gayoung as Choi Sooji Kim Minjae as Lee Sejoo

The Plot

The series depicts rich young men and women in their twenties who discover their true feelings while playing the dangerous game of love. In an act of revenge, Kwon Shihyun makes a bet with his friends to seduce Eun Taehee, who believes people that are swayed by love are pathetic. After Eun Taehee meets Kwon Sihyun, her view on love starts to change. As Sihyun’s secret deepens, he starts to fall in love with Taehee

Review

And so, as the description above says, The Great Seducer is loosely based on the French novel ‘Dangerous Liaisons’. I read a little about how the summary goes in that novel and found that it mostly centers the game that the rich anti-hero started with one of her lovers. She also plays with lives of those weaker than her and her lover, a known seducer, plans on playing fire with an innocent soul. Indeed, that screams of ‘corruption’, but not the corruption you know. In a psychological sense, the corruption of the soul. Ruining someone’s true self for self-gratification, to feed ones already big ego.

Isn’t that great?

The novel is as bold as the French culture is. They love art to an extent–that is free, liberated. That I guess, the original is better in terms of content, consistency, the story build up or the character build up.

MBC’s attempt in loosely adapting the concept is a bit of a failure if we’re talking about consistency. I mean, the beginning of the story where they introduced the dark, extravagant life of those three friends–Sihyun, Sejoo and Sooji–is great. It shows how privileged they are because they are rich, but it also shows the ugly part of being in their status. That to stay on top, they have to constantly watch their backs, they are forced to do things that make them lose themselves, and they live in constant hollowness. Sihyun doesn’t even blink an eye when he plays with people’s feelings. Sejoo does the same and thinks that everything is a funny game. Sooji enjoys seeing others suffer for trivial reasons; for her own pleasure.

Isn’t that just as twisted as it should be? I found this part of the story really heavy, but at least it is true to its concept at that time.

But just as Eun Taehee’s character was introduced, it was as if everything was all rainbows and unicorns and girl power. She became the ice that cooled the fire down and brought a little more color to the story by being the light in Kwon Sihyun’s dark world. However, no matter how great the chemistry is, the premature build up of the characters ruined my expectations. I mean, I’m okay that Kwon Sihyun is like the tsundere type of guy that softened through time because of Taehee, but Taehee’s a different story. In the story’s description, before it even started airing, Taehee is labeled as someone who doesn’t easily believe in love. Plus, she started appearing the series as a tough chick who we are all sure won’t easily fall for the bad boy, but then what happened? She is easily swept off her feet by the seducer in just a few episodes and they even kissed.

It would have been really nice if she had strongly brushed Kwon Sihyun’s attempts to swoon her a little longer and with more resolve that her character didn’t appear so weak. I found Taehee’s character bold, but sometimes she can’t stand for herself, but honestly I’m glad I know Joy so I can’t say that her acting sucked. I still believe she did really better in this project that in her first acting gig (The Liar and His Lover) and that the cause of this loophole in character development is actually the script, how it is written and how they are described in paper.

Then there’s Sooji who is the mastermind of the vicious game they started. The game that says for Sihyun to seduce Taehee to get back at her ex-boyfriend who she thinks likes Taehee. Clearly, the game suggestion from the princess herself lack something to back it up, not unless she is that childish to play a prank like that for fun and because her ego sucked at that moment.

They were obviously talking about getting married to get back at their parents who were about to officially get married soon for purely business, but then Sooji just says the brightest idea of entangling the innocent Eun Taehee in the food chain. out of the blue, causing for a more complicated plot that hardly followed through. It’s a good thing Sihyun couldn’t stick to the sick game and followed his heart by liking Eun Taehee even if he had to lie to Sooji and Sejoo, but somehow the plan about marriage between the two of them became buried under a big rock for a long time, until Sooji tells Sihyun’s father of this plan. I don’t think that it doesn’t have that much impact then, considering Mr. Kwon is an adult who could care less about such a childish plot of revenge, plus, her mother is so in love with Mr. Kwon that Sooji may rest her case, and then there’s Sihyun who has completely abolished the plan in his mind because of Taehee.

Sooji could have been a really strong and scary character if it isn’t for the flaws in character development. She’s vicious for most part of the drama, but there are times when her resolve dwindle and she seems inflexible in such a way she has insomia and that has become a bigger problem in the end. It made her character weak and it doesn’t help that her mother is a doctor. Because the doctor can’t even see what’s wrong with her daughter. The link between them feels so superficial that her mother couldn’t have uncovered the real problem with her own child and that causes Sooji to rely so much in her friendship with Sejoo and Sihyun. That she is utterly destroyed when things start to fall apart among them.

Sejoo on the other hand is quite adorable in the beginning. In fact, I didn’t mind that he is sort of a womanizer or whatever, since it really doesn’t feel that way. And among the three of them, I feel he is the one that keeps them together. That it feels a little heartbreaking he had to hurt Sihyun just like how Sooji did even if he didn’t mean to. Out of revenge, he ruined them all and he isn’t even able to to throw a punch at his brother or that annoying Lee Kiyong when they beat him up and Sihyun. I just don’t get it. How are two privileged rebels who looks like they know how to fight can’t even pull the trigger at two self-proclaimed thugs?

I sound like my review is all over the place, but literally I think that’s how much chaotic and confusing the story is. Sometimes, I even think their problems are even pointless and that they always worry for nothing. But is it because they aren’t just able to really show a real mirror image of how it should have been if it is them that have been hurt that way? Did the emotions lack depth?

I always thought like that for the benefit of the doubt, but something always feels wrong. Say for example, the night of Taehee’s accident, she runs away just because her mother doesn’t want her to go to Seoul to study. If she already hates her mother for not loving her father, then could her mother’s opinion even mattered and had she ran away? I think she’d rather lock herself in her room or something. Plus, the drama made it seem like Taehee was in such a grave accident that traumatized her and caused her psychological damage, but the accident was her really being hit by the side of the car and injuring her leg. The only reason why she was in a ditch was because she tried to stand up and fell there. Then there were the other characters who limit themselves to orders made by someone who they think are much bigger than them. Sometimes its frustrating that they are obedient and that they think because someone said to get out of the house that they really should.

The only merit I found in this drama and that keeps me going back is the overflowing chemistry between Woo Dohwan and Joy. They have opposite characters that meet at one single turning point and helped them heal each other in such away that love knows no bounds and that it can conquer everything. Even if it is young and hurtful, they are still really cute together.

Plus, I should give props for them ending the drama happily. The last few episodes are really frustrating, emotional and dragging, so I am happy that they gave the characters some light in their dark world after a few years. A lot of people think this is some pitiful consolation for the characters and they did it to salvage the drama from bedrock bottom ratings, but I wouldn’t ask for another ending, you know. This is probably the best decision the people behind this drama chose to do.

Cast & Characters

I know I ranted a lot on my previous statements, but don’t take it out yet on me. I’m just frustrated with the roles these actors were given. Maybe the main characters are all too young to embody how deeply scarred Sihyun, Taehee, Sejoo and Sooji is, but that’s a room to make improvement.

Nonetheless, I think they did a stellar job and that if there is anything or anyone to blame with how things came out to be, it’s the director, scriptwriter, producer, or whoever is behind the camera. The drama couldn’t have been filled with too many flaws had everything been all mapped out carefully and smoothly.

Plus, it’s the first time watching Woo Dohwan, yet he has me really swooned. Perhaps I am the one really seduced by his charms? Haha. He tears up so easily that I watch every time he’s in drama mode and is pouring his heart out. That vulnerable side of Kwon Sihyun he is able to show simply touches my heart in many ways a guy with similar character could probably do. I mean, if he is my boyfriend, I would probably the luckiest girl that he allows me to see this vulnerable side of him. To say that least, Dohwan is indeed boyfriend material.

Then, there is Joy. Our Eun Taehee, who grew up from her awkward and cringe-y role from The Liar and His Lover (that thing is so much better in the original Japanese version). You will clearly see how much Joy has improved in her acting from her first drama to this one. Her expressions came out more natural now, even if many people still say that her smile is weird and that she’s just as expressionless as Shin Se Kyung in The Bride of the Water God. I don’t think she’s that bad and I’m going to say I will be looking forward to her future acting projects.

Moon Gayoung is one of my most favorite actresses since EXO Next Door and then Jangsoo’s Shop. She has lighter roles in the past and acting as Sooji in this drama is a huge step up for her. Even though she also received a lot of criticism for portraying the role, I believe that she is perfect to have been the one to play Sooji. I would ask for a more intense performance, considering Sooji’s character, but improvement is a process not something that comes true overnight.

I would love it if Sejoo’s poster isn’t this dark. It’s weird to see him pose as if he’s the gang leader or the mafia boss or something that serious, since Sejoo is more like a puppy than a conniving man.

But anyway, I can say that Kim Minjae really grew up somehow in this drama. I watched the drama ‘Second Time Twenty Again’, which he starred in as No Ra (Choi Ji Woo)’s son, and he was really cute and sort of nerdy back there. Kim Minjae made Sejoo his own person unique from his other roles.

Overall

Although the drama’s pacing, overall sequence, character build up and exposure all feel lackluster, I must say I enjoyed the journey to finishing the 32-episode series. Because despite the many flaws of the drama, they are able to take some good points: like being able to portray the two sides of the characters–the good and the bad, show good chemistry among the characters (especially Sihyun and Taehee; I don’t mind the ship sailing!), and have a happy ending for all of them.

I know that the drama didn’t intend to replicate or copy Dangerous Liaisons, but it would have been nice if the drama stayed true to the theme from beginning to end without making the characters’ growth abrupt or unsupported by a good and gradual build up. I must say, the choice of the age of the actors might have indirectly affected the potential strong impression The Great Seducer failed to maintain, considering the characterizations sometimes doesn’t suit how young the actors are, but at the same time I am thinking the actors were casted for the purpose of getting an audience. I do think that getting a mature cast and making the drama even more daring and darker would have been a disaster. I don’t think Korea is ready for that kind of plot. It’s perfect for the English speaking audience, but not for somehow conservative Asians.

Still, I’ll give a slow clap for The Great Seducer for making my heart flutter and I’ll rate it with a 3.8 out 5.

Review: The Great Seducer Also known as Tempted (위대한 유혹자; Widaehan Yuhokja) is a 2018 South Korean television series starring Woo Dohwan, Park Sooyoung, Moon Gayoung and Kim Minjae.