#I guess I tag this with bg3??? I did start talking more generally but it is originally about bg3

[loonyoz]

I real love the points you’ve made, interesting how deeply ingrained heteronormativity is in society (society is very vague i know). I tend to feel more comfortable engaging in stories about queer relationships because I assume it’s less likely to place characters into gender roles (which is, of course, not always the case). I can’t speak to the variety of bg3 or other fics out there, but I have definitely noticed similar stuff. It always bothers me when people decide a persons sexual preferences based off their appearance or mannerism, because 1. It often implies something weird (or stereotyped) and 2. I just think it makes no sense, in real life I don’t think you can or should determine a persons preferences based off these things. Or like sure this person tends to let others take the lead in group dynamics, that doesn’t define everything else about them. It’s like saying that because someone likes to put milk in their coffee the must like it in their tea as well.

I've also been confused about the language used for awhile now. I had always thought that top/bottom referred to who is/isn’t penetrating during sex. Yet I often see it used interchangeably with dom/sub, which has to do with a desire to explore a certain power dynamic in a relationship or sexual activity. If my understanding these definitions is correct, this honestly makes me very upset. In a generally cisnormative society the partner being penetrated is often associated with women, due to a variety of reasons, one of which being that afab people have vaginas. If bottom and sub are used synonymously it’s implying that the norm for sex is that the partner being penetrated is submissive. Furthering these gender roles in which a man is always dominant and a woman is always submissive. Which also carries over in the portrayal of some queer relationships, in which the penetrated or submissive partner is often assigned a “feminine” gender role in the relationship.

Of course people can write and read what makes them happy but as a reader and someone who cares about social issues Im going to be disappointed by something that tosses aside what makes a character an individual in favor of enjoyment of something that perpetuates an unnuanced and harmful approach to gender and sexuality. Of course I’m not saying someone can’t be, for example, stereotypically feminine, enjoy bottoming, and enjoy a submissive role. That’s obviously valid, and not a problem. The problem is how we talk about it. For example: someone saying oh this person definitely bottoms because they act so effeminate. If you find yourself saying similar remarks, I think it’s important that you reflect on why you’re saying that. Why are you make that connection? God I hate discrimination biases because it can be a lot subtler than other forms of bigotry. It can be hidden in the sociocultural environments that we are familiar with, and can be a product of systemic bigotry. It can be hard to notice in others and in yourself, and it can do so much harm.

I appreciate how you brought up that there are arguments on both sides that are harmful. I often observe arguments becoming this aggressive polarized nightmare. Nothing but more harm is caused by those types of arguments. If both sides are self reflective, able to listen, and able to explain their point of view in a non aggressive manner, that is when you can have a productive discussion. Of course things are rarely as simple as that. Which is a whole other topic in and of itself.

I also think what you brought up about sexual trauma is really important. I would need to do more research if I wanted to make a reflection on the various portrayals of sexual assault and what that means. But there can definitely be some odd take aways depending on how you depict the occurrence of sexual assault and recovery from the trauma. I think the way we view gender and sexuality definitely play a role in how sexual assault is talked about.

If you've gotten to the end of this post, I would like to say that I am by no means an expert in any of these subjects, and I am limited by the scope of my personal perception. If you feel Ive misrepresented something, or caused harm, please let me know. These are difficult and sensitive topics. I know Im taking a risk by posting it on the internet, where communication can be difficult. I am always open to constructive feedback as long as it is respectful.

People get really defensive about "writing Astarion with women" when what people are actually annoyed/upset about is that people are putting him in heteronormative relationships with women.

And it's not like, "YOU, INDIVIDUAL WOMAN, WROTE HIM WITH A WOMAN? A POX ON YOUR HOUSE!" and more like "a majority of fandom is writing him in this specific way with this specific type of character that doesn't really reflect who he is in the game and shoehorns him into a generic booktok dom daddy."

Which. Yeah. People are allowed to feel annoyed/alienated by that type of trend. I think. Maybe. I've seen several fics where Astarion being with big burly men (implied to have been penetrated) was portrayed as traumatic, while being with little virginal female Tav was "healing". And yeah, you're technically acknowledging his pansexuality ... But the implications aren't great. Ya know?

And there's a LOT of conflating domming/topping/being on top. Which ends up only highlighting the heteronormative approach to a lot of fic about him. "He gets on top > so he always tops/penetrates > so he's a dom." Because for some reason penetrating others is less traumatic to him than to be penetrated? Which is a whole bag of worms that people seem reluctant/unable to unpack.

Now, the other side of this argument are people who go "lmao those delusional wamen think this homosexual twink would top them" which is. Also not great? But in the end reflects the same type of reductive and heteronormative argument, it's just coming from the other side of the spectrum. He's flamboyant and pretty so he MUST be incapable of putting his dick into someone else. And he's MORE feminine than the women he gets paired with, so obviously that's unrealistic and he must be paired with a big strong man instead. Which is like. Well you're paired him with a man but you're still being just very heteronormative about it. Even gay relationships must have a "man" and a "woman", is your argument? And Astarion, being beautiful and a presumed bottom, is "the woman"?? Hmm. Don't like that.

Maybe. Astarion is. Pansexual. And can both bone down and be boned down. Maybe he does have a preference. Maybe he doesn't. Maybe he doms, maybe he subs. Maybe he switches depending on mood/partner. Maybe he likes different sex positions where he's on top and ones where he's below. Maybe he's down for whatever as long as it's with someone he loves. Maybe he's neither "the man" nor "the woman" in a relationship and he's simply Astarion, a man in a relationship. Maybe in the end it doesn't fucking matter and putting him into rigid binaries is doing him a disservice.

Anyway. My nonbinary Tav's gonna upgrade his gender to Man+. Cis premium. They're gonna explore his gender and preferences and expression together. I think that might be fun and freeing maybe. And they're gonna take turns topping and bottoming and both will be soooooo healing because um. They're having consensual sex and are in love. So it's healing by default. Regardless of who's putting what where.

Well. Anyway. All I'm saying is. Stuff.

[meanbossart]

ASK COMPILATION: just answering to some sweet messages and casual questions!

I'm not sure what you mean 😅 I just started talking about DU drow and my thoughts on BG3 because I got bit with the writing bug. I figured out how to best tag things as I went!

Thank you! I use the Artemus brushes from CSP assets to do my lines, and I'm a huge fan of many of the brushes from the DAUB packs, especially the PIGMENTO set.

Thank you so much! I've been drawing since I was a child, but I started taking it seriously in my late teens. How long a drawing takes depends on many factors and varies a lot, but much of stuff in this blog took anywhere from a few hours to 1-2 days to complete.

So glad you've been enjoying the patreon, thank you so much for your support!

I'm crafty by necessity, mostly LOL I'm a cheapsteak so I have some minor skill in a few areas like carpentry, sewing, general home-upkeep, that kind of thing. It's not as artistic as it is just practical knowledge, though I'm sure you could argue that there's a lot about it that overlaps with the way I approach art. Drawing has indeed always been something I did, and I was definitely the "kid that draws" of the class growing up.

The concepts for Sad Sack and Sortie were the brainchildren of my partner, @barbatusart, so I'm afraid I can't really speak to that question specifically. BUT I would say you pretty much nailed it already: you have to do whatever you're passionate about in that moment and hopefully that will attract the attention of others with similar interests. Overthinking whether or not something will be well received when it has barely been conceived yet is kind of a creativity killer, in my personal opinion. Dance like nobody can see you and you are bound to impress at least a couple of people with confidence alone.

You're incredibly sweet 😭😭😭 I'm just trying to have fun here! The BG3 community in general is incredibly chill, to be fair, which makes it easy to follow suit. We're all adults trying to ponder the orb and the five million different universes where we romanced the same 2-to-3 people, you need a level head to deal with that, I guess!

The visuals here are a little dated, but perhaps it being from a time when I was drawing more realistically could actually be helpful in this case! Either way I think the written advice is much more helpful and it holds up to the way I learned/do things still.

LOL, minus the body scars that I add in my art DU drow is 100% all larian homebrew, so I always figured someone, somewhere, would eventually make an exact carbon copy of him by accident except name him Greg or something. It's totally fine and I would be crazy to get upset about it 😂😂😂Frankly, I'm surprised it isn't more common! When I made him I really felt like I was just playing Generic Beefsteak Generator 2000.

[pinkberrytea]

✨Writing Interview Tag Game✨

Eeee tysm for the tag @nyx-knox and @honeybee-bard! 🥹🙌❣️

When did you start writing?

I used to write fanfiction when I was 13 years old, but as an adult, this is actually my first time dabbling in creative writing! I released my first work back in April, crazy to think it’s been barely four months since I started!

Are there different themes or genres you enjoy reading than what you write?

Horror and mystery are actually my favorite genres, though I'm not sure I'd be able to pull either off? I should give it a go one day, maybe!

Is there a writer you want to emulate or get compared to often?

To be honest any comparisons at all would make me plenty happy since I barely consider myself a writer 😅 There are some people in the fandom who are endless sources of inspiration for me though, all authors in my recs list and ao3 bookmarks, for starters.

Can you tell me a bit about your writing space?

No BG3 merch sadly, yet!

What's your most effective way to muster up a muse?

Just daydreaming honestly. Also listening to music helps plenty! Researching lore and brainstorming ideas with friends too. But mostly just daydreaming!

Are there any recurring themes in your writing? Do they surprise you?

Hurt and comfort, and also angst. Lots of it, for some reason. It does surprise me how angsty all my writing ends up coming across, but I try to balance it out with some melodramatic fluff, I guess? I do want to try my hand at some less serious/more lighthearted themes eventually though, branch out a little!

What is your reason for writing?

Coping, mostly. Also as a sort of therapy, to sort out my feelings about themes that are important to me and that I’ve been processing through media. And no less relevant, simply as a self-indulgent outlet! I write what I myself would like to read.

Is there any specific comment or type of comment you find particularly motivating?

Every single comment is incredibly motivating for me, but of course, I do twirl my hair and kick my feet whenever someone tells me about which passages they liked the best and how they specifically felt about a certain scene. Also, whenever people pick up on a detail I was sure would go by unnoticed!

How do you want to be thought about by your readers?

I want my readers to think of me as a friend, as someone who is always accessible and up for talking about writing, be it mine or just in general!

What do you feel is your greatest strength as a writer?

Oh, this is a toughie. I have a very flowery and verbose style, though I’m not sure that’s a strength? I guess it could be, depending on your preferences. It’s a bit of a double-edged sword, really.

How do you feel about your own writing?

I don’t think highly of it from a technical standpoint, but I do pour my heart and soul into every single piece, and that makes them all special to me.

When you write, are you influenced by what others might enjoy reading, or do you write purely for yourself, or a mix of both?

I can sincerely say I write mostly for myself, otherwise I wouldn’t even be able to write anything at all because I don’t think I could live up to anyone’s expectations. Though of course, the feedback I receive on a piece may in fact influence whether I feel inspired to expand on it or just move on to something new. Even if I’m typically my own main target audience, comments are always greatly appreciated!

No pressure tags ✨ @locallegume, @judasiskariot, @inkymoonbunny, @starryjuicebox and @kalmiaphlox!