#I gotta think of a better way to tag them than their full names

[cheesiedomino]

RentABoyfriend.com ꙳ ੭ * ‧

synopsis: you’re tired of being single so you to take an unusual route in helping with that— but what happens when you start catching real romantic feelings for your rental boyfriend?

genre: seo changbin x fem!reader | fake relationship/dating au wc: 5.1k tags/warnings: fluff, v minor angst, mild cursing, (kinda) nerdy changbin, use of pet names, mentions of alcohol usage, just overall very cute story dw <33

[this is part of my valentine’s series where i write a short story for each member surrounding themes of love, newfound romance, relationship hardships & more.]

“I have a date tomorrow guys.”

Everyone’s head instantly lifts up from their phones at this sudden announcement, collectively drawing their attention at you. You weren’t expecting all of them to gasp and swap such looks of genuine confusion. It’s starting to make you think maybe this situation was a lot more serious than you’ve bargained it out to be.

You couldn’t fathom it either honestly, the realization of you going out with someone probably won’t settle in until you’re physically on the date. Based on their initial responses though, you might regret everything you’re about to say, but it’s far too late to retract any of your statements now.

“No way.. with who??” Danielle is the first out of everyone to ask.

Taehyung chimes in as well, “Yeah, who’s the lucky person? They’ve gotta be something seriously special to be talking to you.”

Well, you suppose you could put it that way.

You already have a preconceived notion of what they’re going to think of this “idea”. Mentally preparing yourself to receive a flood of questions and critique from your close friends.

“Actually… I rented him. For the week.”

Now they’re all looking at you like you’ve officially lost it. The room got scarily quiet, no one wanted to be the first to speak. You should’ve anticipated on their reactions being like this, it isn’t everyday someone just openly admits to buying a partner online. Nowadays there’s a lucrative market for just about anything, when you stumbled upon an ad for this service called ‘RentABoyfriend.com’ you didn’t think much of it. You laughed the concept off at first, thinking how lonely people must be to buy someone else’s time.

But the ads kept popping up, they wouldn’t stop showing in almost every YouTube video you were watching— even one of your favorite YouTubers promoted them before! So one day you finally decided to check this website out, you wanted to see what the hype’s all about so you signed up just for shits and giggles. You weren’t expecting to actually be somewhat interested in trying this thing out, but after going through a couple different profiles and reading hundreds of positive reviews you were practically sold.

“You rented out a boyfriend..? Seriously ___? I mean, I’m not judging but you’re a gorgeous girl you can easily get a boyfriend without paying for someone’s companionship, I don’t see why you need to rent one.” Mark bluntly expressed his opinion, he was probably the most outspoken out of all of you guys.

Taehyung and Danielle both agreed in unison, it’s practically 3 against 1 at this point. You knew you should’ve waited to tell them but you weren’t anticipating on them being this judgmental about it. You were hoping for a little more support, as they’re all way more experienced than you in the dating scene and could lend some helpful advice about your first date, ever.

See, the thing is you’ve never tried dating before so you wouldn’t know the first thing about it or what to expect from your future partner. You’ve never had a boyfriend, let alone held hands or kissed someone of the opposite sex. Being in your twenties it’s kind of embarrassing to say you’ve never done those things, but you thought what better way to try it out than renting a full-on experience that can give you just that? Well minus the kissing part, but you can make it work.

You were skeptical of doing this whole ‘rent-a-boyfriend’ thing at first because you didn’t think there’d be anyone you’d find suitable enough. A big part of the reason that you’re still single is because you’re extremely picky, you want to date a guy who’s so perfect that he must’ve came straight out of an indie romance film. Your friends would tease you for having such unrealistic standards when it came to dating but you were the all-or-nothing type, you’ll be single with fifty cats before you settle for less. Renting a boyfriend is definitely an unconventional idea of easing into dating but you thought it might be worth a try anyway.

What’s the worse that could happen?

( 1 day earlier )

Hovering your cursor over the bold red text of the website, you read over the main rules before going on to select the person you want for your date.

‘The rules are simple:

You are allowed to see only ONE person at a time, if you want to switch boyfriends you’ll have to pay a $50 fee.

MUST be over 18 to rent a boyfriend, we have implemented an age verification system before the date as we do not tolerate anyone under this age to use our services.

NO kissing, or sexual intimacy allowed. If this is found out later on by our agency we will terminate your contract and ban you from using our services in the future.

Remember to have fun !! ^_^ Our services are great for people who are new to dating or have never been in a relationship. We provide the ~ultimate~ boyfriend experience to all our clients. Customer satisfaction is 100% guaranteed ! (NO REFUNDS)’

Well jeez… they seemed a bit strict but you can deal with those rules and restrictions for the most part.

After hours of skimming through hundreds of profiles, you have a hard time choosing which you like most. Did you want an artsy, shy kind of guy? The tattooed, bad boy aesthetic type? You really couldn’t pick one until you stumble upon a particular profile that catches your eye almost immediately.

SEO CHANGBIN | 168 CM | PART-TIME LIFEGUARD | 24 | *POPULAR ↝

5 Facts About Me: I’ve traveled to over 50+ different countries and counting (ask me which my favorites are), I can speak 4 languages (working on my fifth), love to sing and used to have a rap trio with my buddies from college, I can & will easily lift you up ;) also have a secret talent for cooking, there’s nothing I can’t do!

Why Choose Me? First of all, why not choose me? I’m the best candidate for whatever kind of date you need, something casual, social gatherings, weddings, you name it! I’m very social and can make most people laugh (unless they’re the literal Grinch reincarnated), I’m able to get along well with anyone and just love to have a good time. I hope we can get to know each other and make great memories in the future :)

Going through his pictures you couldn’t believe someone was capable of being this humanely attractive. Don’t even get started on those impeccable muscles either… He really had to sport them in every other one of his photos, wearing the tightest shirts to show the outline of his insanely sculpted frame. You might have just been mesmerized from his godlike visuals alone. They even had a Valentine’s Day deluxe package that comes with seven dates in total for half the price, which they specified was for a limited time only.

$600 later you’ve got a full week of dates lined up with the hottest guy you’ve ever seen in all your years of living. You should’ve definitely went shopping before considering all this because now you actually have a reason to get dolled up for someone.

You were so nervous about going on this date you almost cancelled last minute out of fear. Typing out several different elaborate paragraphs to Changbin on why you couldn’t make it. You didn’t have his real phone number, it was all through an app facilitated by the rental company that was included in the package. Even though you were feeling overwhelmed and practically shaking with anxiety about meeting up with a guy, you still forced yourself to go anyway. You didn’t just dish out all that money just to not show up and waste his time on top of all that.

Your rental boyfriend texted you the location to meet at, it was near a train station so you both could see each other out in a public open space. The outfit you wore was fairly simple, a black mini skirt with warm tights underneath and a cropped turtleneck sweater. You accessorized the look with some dainty jewelry, a thin scarf, and knee high boots to pull everything together. It wasn’t something you usually wore but you had certain clothes you saved for a special occasion like this.

Upon your arrival, you notice him standing near a vending machine and waves over at you with the biggest smile plastered on his face. You awkwardly wave back, giving a soft smile as you slowly walk up to him. He looks even better in person, you don’t even feel adequate enough to be in such a gorgeous man’s presence. No wonder he’s so popular on the site, he’s practically unreal.

“Hi, you must be ___. It’s so nice to finally meet you, might I add you look really beautiful today, I think you’re making my heart race just by looking at you. Happy Valentine’s Day!” Changbin introduces himself, buttering you up with some sweet compliments before handing you the most insane bouquet of roses you’ve ever seen.

You take the flowers and almost stumble backwards from how heavy they were, “Wow, thank you!” Changbin prevents you from falling, quickly coming up behind you to get your balance back.

“Careful honey, can’t have you injured on our first date!” He voices with concern, “I hope you love the idea I came up with, I’ve only been to this place once before but I’m sure it’s still as fun as I remember it, let’s go!” Eagerly grabbing your hand to begin the journey, he turns around again to examine your body language.

“You seem a little tense babe? Do you need a massage?” He asks in a concerned tone again, this is all really beginning to freak you out. You know this is what you signed up for but this was all starting to feel a bit too personal, all the nicknames and sweet talk he’s giving is just something you aren’t used to.

“Uh, no! It’s o-okay.” You shook your head, denying anything suspicious going on. Truth be told you were barely able to contain your composure right now.

Changbin keeps on insisting, “The massage is included in the package so you don’t have to worry about getting charged extra.”

“N-no it’s okay, really. I’m just nervous that’s all, sorry I just don’t meet up with guys…” you shyly admit, finding it hard to look him in the eye.

He nods in understanding, “No need to be nervous with me sweetheart. I’m here to make you feel as comfortable as possible.” The smile he flashes at you instantly makes you warm on the inside, he seems like a genuine, caring person. You think things might go well for you after all.

The rest of the night was full of only good vibes and laughter by the end of it all. Changbin took you to an adult arcade that had old video games like Pac-Man, Super Mario, and Space Invaders, the other side was a bar where people could sit, drink, and socialize. He bought all your drinks that night, let you use up most of his tokens and overall had the most fun you could’ve ever had with someone. He was so easygoing but also knew when to act super caring and would be all lovey dovey with you. He was gentle, nurturing, and could have conversations about anything. You loved that he’d randomly drop some interesting fact you never knew about, or talked about a certain niche topic that he’d go on multiple rants over. It didn’t feel like you were renting someone out to date you, it felt natural— like you’ve known him for longer than a couple hours. Changbin walked you home and held your hand the entire time, along with the flowers he provided a teddy bear and a heart shaped box of chocolates. If that didn’t scream boyfriend goals then you don’t know what does.

The next day you wake up to Changbin blowing your phone up this morning. You had over 26 messages from him, which was pretty excessive in your humble opinion. The first thing he said was good morning then he goes on to express how fun yesterday was and he can’t wait to do it again. He even sent a couple mirror selfies of him at the gym, ‘conceited much?’ You thought. But then again, if you were Seo Changbin you’d probably be full of yourself too.

For today’s date you wore a pretty red sundress that made your skin glow in the sunlight. It’ll definitely get him to compliment you even more— which you secretly love when he does. Changbin calls you before he heads out to the date, letting you know how excited he is to see you again. You couldn’t stop smiling like an idiot on the train as you made your way to the destination, thinking about what he’s planned for you two next. This time you’ll be meeting up at a park but you still have no clue what you’re doing.

Changbin texts you where exactly he is in the park, it was pretty huge so it took you a while to get to him. As you get closer you see him sitting on a large blanket by the lake, on top of it were a bunch of different foods and snacks scattered all around that came out of a huge picnic basket. You were speed walking at this point trying to get to him. His arms opened out for a hug and you lean right into him, what you didn’t expect was for him to suddenly stand up and lift you in his arms to swing around you like a doll.

“Put me down I’m scared of heights!” You squeal out in fear of being too high up in the air. Maybe you really should’ve taken the bio on his profile more seriously when he mentioned certain things.

Finally putting you down after minutes go by of you protesting, Changbin sits you back onto the blanket. He brought an assortment of breads, cheese, fruits, lemonade that he made himself and a couple seltzers. You’ve never seen anyone put such time and effort into a date before, even being here with him is like living in a daydream. He was definitely succeeding in making you feel comfortable, which is something you never thought was possible with men. He actually took his time getting to know you and didn’t sound arrogant whenever he talked about himself, Changbin was so different than other guys who’ve tried hitting on you in the past. He was actually respectful, intelligent, and could easily carry a conversation without long, awkward pauses.

He was literally everything you’re looking for in a guy. But you’ll be seeing him for this week only then it’s bye bye forever. That revelation makes you a little upset, but you try pushing those thoughts in the back of your mind. It’s irrelevant and unnecessary to think about. Yet you can’t help but wonder about certain things though, wanting to know more about his job and what it’s like on a daily basis for him.

“Can I ask you something? I need you to answer it honestly.” You say out of nowhere, hoping that didn’t come out as weird as you thought.

Changbin nods, “of course, shoot.”

“How many clients do you usually get?”

This question definitely catches him off guard, he’s never really been asked this before and he’s debating on if he should as it might be a breach of privacy.

“I don’t think I can answer that, sorry.” He responds in the nicest way possible, but deep down he wants to know why you’d want to know how many other people he sees a day.

You were going to push him a bit more to try and get an answer but you decide to let it go and just enjoy the rest of the picnic. You didn’t want to bring the mood down with your odd questions and/or end up making him feel so uncomfortable that he won’t want to see you anymore. It was definitely something you shouldn’t have asked but you were curious to know anyway. Overall besides that small incident, you had another wonderful time with Changbin and couldn’t wait for tomorrow to come any faster.

Changbin had a foolproof way of getting you to blush like a giddy high school teen whenever he texted you. He’d always refer to you as ‘pretty girl’ or ‘princess’ which gave you insane amount of butterflies. You loved how clingy he could get and would double text when you don’t reply fast enough, always needing constant attention from you which you never minded giving.

He texted you at around three in the afternoon, proposing his next plan for today’s date.

‘Let’s go out for drinks tonight, it’s all on me ;)’

You liked his message, replying that you’ll be there and put a series of hearts at the end. Speaking of hearts, yours is fluttering at high altitudes from the way you can’t stop thinking about your “boyfriend” Changbin. This has been better than anything you could’ve expected, you never want this week to come to an end. It’s only been three days but you’ve begun to grow feelings for him, they weren’t too strong just yet but they were most definitely there. You couldn’t let that halt you from having a good time tonight, you’ll have to accept it soon enough he’s not your actual boyfriend. He’s doing this because you paid him to, if it wasn’t for your money he wouldn’t be here right now.

‘This relationship is purely transactional’ you unfortunately keep reminding yourself of the reality you’re in. Psyching yourself out of this sudden somber mood that’s consuming you, distracting your pessimism by raiding your closet for some cute clothes to wear tonight’s date. After what seemed like hours of tearing your entire room apart, you decide to settle on this sparkly black mini tube dress, pairing it with a leather jacket and more platform shoes because you’re obsessed with feeling tall. Once it’s 7 PM you head out to the bar you’re seeing Changbin at, he was already waiting for you inside the place. Eyes instantly lighting up when he sees you coming towards him, just like he always does he motions for a hug, pulling you in tightly like he hasn’t seen you in years.

His hugs felt so cozy, like sitting in front of the fireplace on a crisp, snowy winter’s evening. You never wanted to escape the warmth of his arms, it was one of those forms of physical touch that felt so overly personal to you. The thought of him hugging someone the same way he hugs you slightly enrages something in your spirit but again, it isn’t your place to get genuinely upset over him doing his job. You’re not entitled to him exclusively, but you feel like if you keep this up feelings will only continue to develop. This wasn’t something you considered when going into this and now you feel like you’ve just made a huge mistake.

“You okay babe?” Changbin notices you acting a bit strange, choosing not to pursue it after telling him you’re fine. He knows something’s wrong but doesn’t want to mess up the flow of the date, instead he orders a drink for the both of you and switches on to a lighter subject. “Let’s go shopping tomorrow at that new centre that just opened last week. I need to buy some new AirPods, I accidentally lost one of them in a taxi..”

“Sure,” you nod at his suggestion, in desperate need of some new clothes anyway. “Sorry about your AirPods, that sucks!”

He takes a sip of his bubbly drink that’s now on the table, “Eh, it’s okay this is probably the fourth time this has happened so far.” This has pretty much become a regular occurrence for him by now.

As the date progresses, things continue getting better. You’re both laughing, engaging in much deeper conversation than ever before. You definitely had more than enough alcohol in your system by now, feeling congested and claustrophobic as more people came into the bar. Changbin takes note of your discomfort and asks if you want to get some fresh air outside, you wasted absolutely no time to agree.

While you two were outside continuing your chat about some wild conspiracy he read about online, Changbin’s attention was soon drawn to a different building nearby. Gazing up in confusion at his sudden outburst of excitement, you wonder where he could be leading you next.

“Noraebang!” He shouts loud enough anyone miles away could’ve heard that, he’s now grabbing your hand to frantically drag you along with him.

You were never one to carry a tune but Changbin was actually very good at karaoke and singing in general, he had such a lovely voice. You could seriously listen to him sing all night— which you basically did since you kept begging for an encore until it hit 4 am. That’s when you both decided to finally call it a night, you wanted to pay for the Uber since he’s paid for all the drinks and every other expenses for today. You felt bad because you were the one renting him to be your boyfriend yet he’s constantly shelling out money left and right. He still insisted on paying and ultimately won the whole debacle, making you swallow your pride and get into the Uber with him. Changbin’s definitely not just someone you’re going to forget about after this week is over. You dread the day this all comes to an end, wishing there was a way to relive these moments again and again.

“I’m a little under the weather today, sorry I can’t make it Binnie.” Your voice is hoarse from coughing and unbearable throat pain. You’ve already consumed half a bag of cough drops, throat lozenges, and random cold medicine you’ve found in your cabinets.

He sounds mildly disappointed, but springs back up with a new proposal, “I can come over and bring some soup if you’d like!”

You appreciate his gesture but still refuse, you know he’s only saying all this because he has to, not because he wants to. “N-no you don’t have to, I’m sure you can go see other clients today. One less person to worry about right?”

The call went silent for a minute, he wasn’t quite sure how to respond to such a deprecating comment.

“I don’t want to see other clients, I want to see you ___.” He sighs, unwilling to give up so easily, “I’ll be at your place soon, m’kay?” He hangs up before you could even respond or say no again.

You had no choice but to wait for Changbin to show up now. Before you got sick, the last two dates you went on were debatably the best so far. You had gone out shopping together, accidentally wearing almost the same kind of outfit. Changbin was wearing a white graphic tee with blue baggy jeans and you wore something practically identical. The two of you looked like a real, official couple and people would stare as you walked hand in hand, it really did seem like the perfect relationship on the outside.

You got even closer when he came over the following day, resulting in you two cuddling while watching movies and baking cookies. He’s expressed that he’s never been to another client’s home before but it wasn’t “technically” against any rules. The more you kept hanging out together, the harder it was coming to terms with the fact you’re actually falling for Changbin. He made every experience with you more exciting than the last, which he did exactly that night. When the cookies were done you fed a piece to him, making little airplane sounds as you do it, he eagerly takes a bite of the chewy treat and compliments both your efforts.

“These taste way better than I thought, oh my god they literally melt in your mouth. Try it!” He takes another cookie from the tray and feeds it to you this time.

There was something so overly domestic about that moment you couldn’t shake the feelings of wanting to kiss him right then and there. But you can’t. If you did such a thing you’d never be allowed to see him again, plus you don’t want to be known as that one creepy client who just couldn’t keep their hands to themselves. As you were cuddling on the couch though, things may have taken a turn for the better… or worse?

Changbin would “yawn” at the movie and subtly wrap his arm around you, he’d subconsciously pull you in closer and it didn’t make it any better that you were under the same blanket. You weren’t complaining at any of this though, you were pretty much in heaven. It took everything in you not to look up and stare, gluing your eyes to the movie that was displayed on the TV. But as the night progressed you were practically snuggling up with him like he was your real boyfriend. The way he’d run his fingers gently down your back, soothing you in a way that could lull you asleep. His touch was the most relaxing thing ever, you were so calm with him and loved how he brought a side of you that’s never been shown. After this encounter you can no longer deny the way you feel— you are officially falling deeply in love your rental boyfriend, Seo Changbin.

The sound of your doorbell ringing alarms you of a new visitor, who was none other than your “boyfriend” waiting patiently outside the door for you. You feel and look like death itself, coming downstairs to answer the door still in your PJ’s and hair a disheveled mess. Every five seconds was interrupted with you coughing your lungs out, barely able to speak above a whisper. Changbin looks thrilled as ever to see you, even when you clearly don’t look your best he’s still coming up to hug you tightly. His hugs are always blocking off your airways from the way his muscles squeeze you, it’s even worse when you’re sick— practically gasping for air.

“Sorry babyy, I just missed you so much. I couldn’t stop thinking about you all day and soon as you said you’re sick I dropped everything to go make you this soup. It’s a specialty I make whenever my friends are sick, the perfect remedy to cure my princess.” He goes into your kitchen to heat up the soup in your microwave, making you wait patiently on the couch as you’re wrapped up in multiple blankets.

Your body feels like it’s -2 degrees, you were freezing. The crazy thing is your thermostat was set to 80 degrees, it was definitely you that was the problem. He propped your feet up on the table, rested a tray in your lap and set the bowl of soup on top. Brushing a couple strands of hair out your face he looks at you intently, examining your symptoms as if he’s a doctor.

“It’ll be okay soon love, I’m here to nurse you back to health again. Can’t see my pretty baby sick like this, makes me all sad.” He pouts, giving you a soft head pat like you’re a delicate kitten.

He takes a spoonful of the hot soup, slightly blowing on it before telling you to open up so you can eat. You don’t know what’s gotten into you but you feel like he’s gone too far with all this. It’s not fair for you to continue on if it’s just become torture now. He’s practically dangling in your face that you’ll never have a partner as perfect as him in your life.

“I- I can’t do this anymore Changbin..” you say lowly, refusing to eat the soup he made.

“What do you mean? I’m just feeding you soup, it’s my duty as your boyfriend to-”

“This isn’t real… none of it is. I’m stupid for even doing this but I was lonely.. I’m sorry but I’d prefer something that isn’t temporary.” You cut him off to express your pent up frustrations, ready to be let down and rejected by him as gently as possible.

“Then let’s make it real,” he proposes without any hesitation, “honestly I stopped faking it around our third date, it was all me after that. I never said anything because well… this is my job and I’ve never fallen for a client before so this is still all very new to me..”

You’d be screaming right now if you weren’t sick, instead you’re internally freaking out at this confession, it feels like your hearts doing cartwheels and somersaults.

“Seriously?” Eyes widening as you look at him, suddenly your body heat rises and you know it’s not because of the soup or the layers of blankets that’s covering you.

He nods, “I thought it was kinda obvious when we kissed yesterday..”

Oh yeah… you forgot that did happen. You thought it was another fever dream you might’ve just made up in your head. You shared your first kiss with someone you deemed so special and important to you, someone you never would’ve guessed could come into your life and shift the entirety of your world like magic. There was no one else in existence you wanted more than Changbin.

“Doesn’t that mean you’ll have to quit your job? I don’t want to be the reason you stop making such good income.. I’ll feel so bad.” You knew deep down you didn’t feel that badly about him quitting to date you instead. It was just the thought of him leaving something he’s been doing for years behind all for some girl he’s known for simply a week.

He shrugs at your comment, “I’ll be just fine, I was planning on finding a new job soon anyway. It gets kinda old after a while, I felt like I was on autopilot most of the time. You were able to get me to open up and show my true self, I could never thank you enough for that ___.” Changbin couldn’t resist the urge to plant a kiss to your forehead.

After everything that’s been said and done. What you’ve come to understand is that love is learned, a development that takes time to grow and blossom into something extraordinary. Just like learning a new language or a musical instrument, we learn love from society and cultures we’re raised in, it’s a beautiful thing once we know how to cherish it. Your newfound romance with Changbin is something you’ll learn to cherish forever and ever.

[End <3].

[creedslove]

BETRAYED - PART FOUR

Pedro Pascal x f!reader

Summary: Pedro invites you to be his plus one for the night but his attention is caught by another woman and leaves you with a broken heart

Warnings: angst, age gap, established friendship, unrequited love/one sided feelings, Pedro being a dick but also a tiny little bit of fluff

A/N: I'm so sorry but I can't manually tag anyone on the post, the app won't just let me do it!

ALSO, I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO IDEA WHERE TO GO FROM HERE, SO IF YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS OR SUGGESTIONS LET ME KNOW! 💖

1.3k words

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE

"What the fuck are you doing here, Pedro?!" You asked shocked, noticing your voice came out squeaky at the nervousness of the situation. In all the time you've known each other not once he came to your place unannounced and let alone broke into. You honestly had no idea what was that shit about but you didn't like it a bit. It felt so invasive, so creepy, that's definitely something you never expected from Pedro.

The man, on the other hand just scoffed and shook his head, looking at you with angry eyes

"I was just waiting for you, as you don't bother answering my calls nor my texts, I figured I could come and see if you were still alive, which I can see you are, alive and well, by the way, especially after the little date with your new friend. His name is Liev, right? Did you bat your eyes at him and giggled at every single thing he said just like you used to with me?" He got up and walked towards you, staring hardly into your eyes.

"So, you couldn't simply give me a heads-up you weren't coming to my house the other day? You're just too busy to even remember I exist, Y/N? But not to Liev, right? For him you have all the time in the world, what a fucking great friend you are, Y/N!" He said angrily.

You couldn't believe your ears, he had the nerve to come to your place and accuse you of being a bad friend? You clenched your jaw and you could swear if you had the guts you could punch Pedro right there.

You also took a step closer, showing you were not at all intimidated by his scene.

"A bad friend? Are you really calling me a bad friend? You gotta be kidding me, honestly, I can't believe your nerve to say that, if anything you're the bad friend here, you treat me as nothing but a cute pet, someone you like to have around and stroke your ego, but whenever you find something better, you forget I exist"

He scoffed and rolled his eyes

"Is this about the party again? Honestly Y/N what were you expecting? That I would stop my life for you? Just because you have a crush on me?! Please, grow up! You're not a little girl anymore, maybe it's time for you to find a man so you won't bother me anymore?" Pedro raised his voice but immediately regretted what he'd said. He saw how your eyes filled with tears, the disappointment was written all over your face. You swallowed and shook your head "I'm not talking about my feelings for you, I am talking about how bad of a friend you are, how cruel of you was to hump another woman in front of me, ditch me so you could go and fuck her, you left me there, as if I didn't matter, as if you barely knew me!!" You shouted angrily and looked down, drying your tears so he wouldn't see them.

"You're telling me to grow up? How about you fucking grow up? It's about time a man your age, get over this stupid commitment issue you got. For god's sake Pedro, you are nearly 50 years old, no wife, no kids, all your relationships won't last more than a year and you really think the problem is me? You are the fucking problem!" You shouted, not caring if his brown eyed that were often so full of joy were now sparkly with tears.

"I-.. Do you really think that of me, Y/N?" He asked in a low voice,

"I do" you said coldly. Pedro, on the other hand, felt so horrible about everything that happened and above all, about himself. He never believed he would be able to handle a relationship but the assumption you didn't have faith in him shattered his heart, you always saw the good in him, you believed him and supported him when things were so hard he felt like giving things up and now, he had ruined everything, just like he did with everything in his life that wasn't his career. He had given up a chance to be happy, to have his own family, and now he had lost you, he was sure.

You walked to the front door and held it open for him "I'd like you to leave now, you were not invited and I don't want your company, Pedro" . You watched him walk away in silence, turning around and giving you one last glance, blinking his tears and exiting your life.

•••

For the next months the only news you got from Pedro were through reels and headlines that insisted on appearing every time you logged in social media. You'd read somewhere he was shooting another movie in some country you didn't pay attention to, so that assured you you wouldn't risk running into him anywhere you used to go together. You hadn't talked since the day at your house, and you weren't sure if you wanted to talk to him at all, of course it was hard and so many times you had to remind yourself there was no one to send funny pictures you knew he would like, or talk about your interests or even hang out. You felt empty, emptier than you ever did after any romantic relationship you'd ever had. Your friendship with Pedro was intense and even if he didn't like you back, it was a love story, at least on your side of the picture.

Sometimes you wanted to check on him, see if he was doing alright, but you didn't have the guts, you both had hurt each other so bad, and after all, he did tell you to find a man so you'd leave him alone. You always thought of that when you typed a 'Hello' on your conversation, before erasing things up.

He was still the internet's sweetheart and each time a new picture or interview came out, he always seemed happy and excited so you wondered if he missed you at all.

You dropped your phone as you walked into the toy store, you'd been invited for your friend's toddler's birthday party. You'd met Kate through Pedro, he was friends with her husband, but the two of you hit off and you spent a lot of time together and now her sweet little princess Flora was turning three and you were looking forward to spending a cozy afternoon surrounded by happy children and your friend.

You picked the prettiest doll you could find at the store and rushed to Kate's house as you were almost running late.

When you knocked on the door Flora ran as fast as her little legs allowed her to almost bumping into her mommy who opened the door, welcoming you with a nervous smile. You could tell she wanted to say something, but Flora hugged your legs and as soon as you lowered yourself she wrapped her arms around your neck and snuggled you tight.

"Y/N!!!!!!" She squealed happily and her eyes immediately fell onto the beautiful and colorful gift you had in hands, she paid attention to nothing else but the big package and she felt pure happiness and excitement as she opened it and saw the gorgeous doll. Flora clung to you again and giggled

"Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you Y/N!!" She said overly excited and ran off to play with her new favorite toy.

Kate was distracted for a moment at how glad her daughter was and how cute the two of them were, however, her expression darkened and before you could even greet the other guests, she pulled you to the kitchen, where you two were alone.

"Y/N, before you get into the party, I must warn you… Pedro is here"

-----

A/N: Hi guys, I really hope you have enjoyed this chapter, it was a sad one, I gotta admit and I guess you all got the revenge you wanted on Pedro, he got a taste of his own medicine and it was not good at all! I gotta confess I'm beginning to pity him 🤦‍♀️ and as I said before, I still don't have a lot of ideas for chapter five, so if you guys have anything in mind and want to suggest, let me know! 💖

[jeanboyjean]

you're the worst - ft jean kirstein. mdni!!

summary: you and jean are rivaling lawyers on the partner track and it’s your firm’s xmas party. what better way to prove you’re better than him than to fuck him?

content: (nsfw) f! reader, rivals to lovers, coworkers, fucking at your work christmas function … in a storage closet!! f! oral receiving. p in v. unprotected sex oops. big dick jean, light choking

a/n: inspired by (actual irl) boyfriend's beef with his coworker. she recently got a promotion over him and he wont shut up about it so i was like wait … i gotta write this down this is a great idea HOLD AWN. their xmas function is next week and theres always drama!! enemies to lovers is THE TROPE for meee so i may expand on this later on and make a long fic but for now this is it. ty to @gallliard + @cowgirlikets for beta reading bc im goofy!! tag: @poopwons

2.7k words

String lights twinkle from the ceiling as people mill around you. Music is thumping from the large speakers near the DJ stand as you make your way to the bar to get another drink. Your law firm’s annual christmas party is in full swing right now and it's around halfway through the night - about the point where everyone’s finished their dinners and washing them down with drinks. The cocktail tables you had initially stood around at the start of the night, schmoozing with partners, have been cleared to form a crowded dance floor. You carefully thread your way between your coworkers while they let their hair down after yet another busy year.

When you finally reach the bar, you flag down the bartender and order another drink. In the holiday spirit, the firm had requested custom themed drinks and he sets down a very festive vodka cranberry in front of you. You're taking a sip, turning away to lean your back against the counter when a figure next to you catches your eye.

You sigh. It’s your coworker, Jean Kirstein - a.k.a the bane of your existence.

The two of you had joined the firm at the same time as new grads and had moved up the ranks together. Now, he’s your biggest competition, the one thing standing in the way of you becoming junior partner. He’s good, you’ll give him that. You both are. The two of you are the firms biggest rising stars, pulling clients and racking up billables like it’s nothing.

Unfortunately, he’s also a bit of a dick. At first, you couldn’t tell if his cocky persona had been an act, but after working alongside him these years, you’ve just come to accept that he is naturally a loud, smug asshole. The breaking point had been when you had stayed up late one night in your third year, working on a proposal, only for Jean to rock in the next day with his own that overwrote everything you had done. You’ve never really forgiven him for stealing your thunder and have used every opportunity you can to shine over him. Since then, he’s been nothing more than your rival and enemy. This was even more so lately, what with the announcement coming up next week to reveal who would be getting a promotion.

Jean turns his head to follow the bartender and meets your eyes. You quickly turn away and sip your drink.

“Hey,” you hear him say. He’s moved across to stand next to you, leaning his side on the counter.

Inwardly, you tense a little, always on guard when he interacts with you. “Hi Kirstein,” you say stiffly. “What’s up?”

“Just thinking how good it’s going to feel when they call out my name for junior partner,” he grins smugly.

You roll your eyes at him. “Yeah, in your dreams.”

“Not my dreams if it’s a fact,” he sings and you bristle at his words. There’s no way he could know this for a fact. Everything’s been kept under wraps and you know you have just as much of a chance as him. You both went well over budget and the partners love you equally. It’s anyone’s game at this point.

He laughs. “I’m just kidding. I’m 99% sure it’s gonna be me but who knows what could happen. You might still have a shot.”

“Fuck off, Kirstein,” you snap at him, getting ready to leave.

“I’m kidding! I’m kidding!” He waves his hands. “It could be either of us. Or maybe even Reiner might pull an undercover steal and take it from us.”

You can’t help but laugh at his words. Reiner’s good but he’s far from partner material so you know Jean's taking the piss.

Jean straightens up, demeanour becoming a little more serious. “You know … I think it might actually be you this time.”

Your eyebrows raise. “Are you playing mind games with me, Kirstein?”

“Nah. I think you deserve it, that's all. You worked really hard on that last merger with the Reeves company and it paid off. All the partners are raving about it.”

His voice is sincere for once and your mouth hangs open in shock. You can’t remember the last time you had a conversation with Jean that wasn’t the two of you throwing jabs back and forth. It’s no secret to anyone that you can’t stand the other’s guts.

It's strange. For some reason, he's smiling at you and that fact that you don't feel the need to snap back at him makes you want to smack him.

The lighting at the bar brightens up his sandy brown hair like a halo around his face and his eyes glow as they stare intently at you. Fuck you Jean Kirstein and your perfect hair and your perfect face.

“You look nice today,” he admits, gaze travelling down to give you a once over. The surprises won’t stop coming.

“Yeah, you clean up well too I guess.” It's not a lie - he's definitely attractive. The problem with Jean though is he knows it. You have to be careful with what you say so as to not feed his already bloated ego.

He smirks, obviously pleased by your admission. He hums, eyes wandering around at your surrounding before landing back on you. There’s a split second where you swear they flicker down to your lips briefly. “You wanna go dance?”

Your eyes widen in surprise. “You want to dance ... with me,” you say flatly, eyebrows furrowing.

“Yeah, why not?” He gestures to his body. “You know you want to.”

You roll your eyes. “Fine, Kirstein. I’ll indulge you this one time since you so clearly want to.”

Whirling around, you down your drink then stalk away to the dance floor. You hear him snicker behind you as he follows. Once you find a free spot, you turn to face him, suddenly a little unsure. He’s got a devilish grin on his face as he steps in closer to you. His hands come to rest on your waist and your body lights up at his touch. Hesitantly, your arms come up to wrap around his neck as you let the music guide your body, alcohol pumping through your blood.

After a few minutes, his head dips down and you shiver when his nose grazes your neck. Lips at your ear, he murmurs, “I mean it by the way. You look really good.”

“Don’t tell me you have feelings for me now, Kirstein,” you say in response, trying your hardest to hide how his words rock you to your core. He doesn’t say anything and just laughs, shoulders shaking.

When you look up at him, his eyes are fixed on you, glowing molten lava. Your breath catches in your throat. It feels like the world disappears beneath your feet as you find yourself trapped in his gaze.

Wanting to break free of the moment, you spin around. His hands are still on your waist so you find yourself pressed with your back against his chest. His grip tightens, hips still rocking to the music. You let yourself be moved along too, trying your best to calm your racing heart.

The song is slow and bass heavy, soulful vocals crooning - a little sensual for a conservative law firm like this. When the last few notes trail off, his head drops again to your shoulder and you can feel more than hear him groan.

“Shit,” you hear him mutter. He goes to move away from you but it’s too late. There's an unmistakable hardness pressing firm against your ass. You still and slowly turn to face him.

He has the decency to look embarrassed now, sheepish expression on his face as he puts his hands up in surrender. “I’m sorry, I just got carried away. Please … pretend nothing happened.”

You stare at him, blood thumping in your veins. Despite everything, heat pools in your stomach while a wetness builds between your legs. You shake your head and grab your hand. “Let’s go.”

“What-”

You drag him through the crowd, turning into the corridor towards the bathrooms. With a tug, you pull him into a storage closet and shut the door behind you. He looks at you in a mix of confusion and curiosity. “What are we doing in here?”

You roll your eyes and step in towards him. “Do you want to do this or not?”

His eyes widen and they flicker from yours to your mouth and his breath catches in his throat when your tongue slides out to lick your lips.

Without a word he closes the distance between the two of you. His hands come to grip your jaw as he presses his mouth hard against yours. You share a messy kiss, your hands tangling in his hair, his sliding down your body.

He places wet kisses down your neck as one hand cups a breast, the other groping at your ass. You moan, head falling back as he sucks into your sensitive skin and pinches a nipple through your dress.

“I want to take this off,” he almost pleads, tugging at the fabric. “Can I take it off?”

You nod, letting him unzip and feeling it fall to the floor. His eyes roam your body. “Fuck. You’re so hot,” he groans.

He walks you back until your back hits the closed door behind you. Kisses trail down your body as he falls to his knees and hooks a leg up over his shoulder. He licks a wet stripe up your inner thigh, pulling your underwear to the side to reveal your glistening folds. Wasting no time, he dives forward to lick at your wet slit.

“You taste so good,” he moans into your skin. You’re breathless above him, eyes screwing shut with pleasure as he works his magic.

He takes your sensitive clit into his mouth, swirling around with his tongue and sucking. A finger dips into your folds and you clench tight at the intrusion. He curls it inside you, searching for the sensitive bundle of nerves and it’s obvious when he finds it because you jerk above him, moaning in delight. You feel his lips lift in a smirk and he’s relentless now. Another finger joins and he’s pumping, massaging your slick walls, still sucking at your clit. Your toes curl, heat building in your core.

“Come on, pretty girl. I want to feel you cum on my face,” he moans into your soaking cunt. At his words, it only takes a little more before you feel yourself let go and your orgasm takes over. Waves of pleasure rip through you as you pulse and squeeze around him. Your knees buckle and he catches you with one hand, pinning your hip against the surface behind you.

He grins as he removes his fingers, sucking them clean before wiping his face with the back of his hand. He stands, pulling your face into a messy open mouthed kiss. It feels nasty, the way you're panting into his mouth as you taste yourself on his tongue.

You reach down to palm at his crotch, feeling his hard cock straining against his pants. Eagerly, you pull them down and release him, feeling him hot and heavy in your hand. With all of his arrogance, you had been sure he was overcompensating for a lack of something downstairs but now you're sorely (or maybe thankfully) mistaken. He's easily the biggest you've ever had.

“Shit, I don’t have a condom,” he says.

“Oh,” you say in response, but all you can think is, damn he's big. You shake your head. “I’m clean and on the pill so I’m fine if you are.”

Jean grins. “Sounds good to me.”

He kisses you again before spinning you around to face the door. Your hands fall in front to catch you and he presses into your back. His cock is hard against your ass and he takes a moment to grind against you slowly. He guides it with his hand to slide a few times over your slit, gathering the wetness. You hold in a whine, already a little overstimulated when he finally lines himself up and pushes in slowly. There's a little resistance but you relish in the feeling of stretching around him.

“So tight,” he moans into your hair, cock throbbing inside you.

Jean moves slowly to begin with, letting you adjust to his size but it’s not long before his pace picks up and he’s fucking you in earnest. His hips thrust against your ass, cock sliding in and out, reaching areas you didn’t think were possible. You moan as you rock back into him, desperately meeting his movements.

Your head falls back onto his shoulder and your eyes screw shut as you feel him driving in relentlessly, letting your body go limp in pleasure. One of his hands grips the door next to yours, while the other reaches up to wrap around your throat to hold you up against him. He’s only resting his hand there really, but it makes you clench around him even tighter.

At the sensation, he hisses, hips stuttering. “Oh, you like that?” His hips snap in hard. “I knew you would, you dirty girl.”

His fingers tighten around your neck, lightly cutting off your air supply. It’s enough to make your head spin, stars forming in your vision. He pants into your hair, softly muttering curses as he pounds in quicker. You’re at his mercy now, moaning freely, as your orgasm builds again.

Legs shaking in the effort to hold yourself up, you lose yourself in the moment. Electricity streaks through your body, lighting up all of your nerves. The lack of air is making your limbs tingle, heightening your senses. The hand he’s using to steady himself falls down to your hip, sliding down to your pussy. You jerk when his fingers find your clit, the pleasure almost too much to bear. With a few quick circles at your sensitive nub, you're crying out as you cum around his cock. Your walls clench tight, uncontrollably and your hands claw at the door.

“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he moans, hips stuttering, all finesse out the window. “You’re squeezing me so tight. I’m gonna fucking come.”

He fucks into you without abandon, using both hands to grip your hips tight enough to leave bruises. He pounds into you relentlessly, the slick sound of your skin meeting each other filling the air, before burying into you all the way as he cums. His hips falter and slow as he reaches his high, spilling deep inside you. His forehead drops onto your shoulder, as he tries to catch his breath and carefully, he pulls out, his cum leaking out of your cunt down your thigh.

You fall forward, catching yourself with your forearms against the door. You turn around to face him. His hair has fallen out of its careful styling, a few stray strands sticking on his damp forehead. He grins at you, blinking slowly, lids heavy with contentment. You’re a little surprised when he dips down to capture your mouth in another kiss. His lips are more gentle now, movements softer as his hands lightly hold your jaw. When he pulls away, you’re breathless and frazzled, completely taken aback by the entire sequence of events.

“You good?” he asks you, eyes twinkling with mirth.

You nod in response, racking your brain to think of something to say but coming up empty.

“That was so hot,” he says in your silence. “I knew all that tension between us would lead to something great.” He smirks. “Didn’t think it would be so easy to get you like putty in my hands.”

You straighten at his words, batting his hands from your warm cheeks. “Fuck off, Kirstein. It was just unexpected. You’ll see. Next time you’re the one that’s gonna be putty.”

His chest heaves with laughter as he bends down to pick up your dress and hand it to you. “Next time, huh? Good to know.”

“You're the worst,” You groan, making a face at him as you step into your dress and slide the straps back up over your shoulders. You turn around, holding your hair up with your hands to let him zip it back up.

A shiver runs down your spine when his fingers graze your bare skin. He presses a light kiss against the side of your exposed neck. “Let’s get back out there then,” he murmurs into your skin.

You pretend your legs don’t buckle a little at the feeling of his touch and shake yourself off, smoothing down your dress. You can still feel the ghost of him inside you and his sticky cum dripping down your inner thighs.

Next time, Jean Kirstein. You’ll see.

[thegeekproblem]

Reverse Robins Plot Bunny

okay, so i've been thinking about how a reverse robins plot would work while mostly leaving intact their origin stories and core personalities and also bruce's own plots and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to share asap cause i'm pretty sure this will never see the light of day (feels like a pretty big fic) but if someone wants to pick it up please go ahead just pretty please tag me or dm me or something so i can go and read asap

SO! we have 5 robins that in reverse order would be: damian, stephanie, tim, jason and dick (you can add or take batfam members as you please).

Damian Al Ghul-Wayne

so damian starts with his same origin: bio son of bruce and talia, after dropping out of med school bruce goes on his world tour and ends up in the league of shadows, he meets talia and falls in love and they have a relationship, ra's wants bruce to be his heir so he approves and talia finds out that she's pregnant with damian, but hey, ra's wants him for his own purposes and talia doesn't want that for damian (good mom talia for the win) so she tells bruce and ra's she lost the baby. bruce full of heartbreak doesn't align with ra's beliefs so he leaves to return to gotham. years later talia brings damian to bruce and damian creates robin. as his only son at the beginning, damian probably feels even more entitled to bruce's legacy and he's a bit of an asshole but gets better. even then, bruce's ideology and damian's upbringing clash a lot (he's still the son of talia and he grew up in a cult) up until the point damian leaves behind the mantle of robin and creates a new name for himself (black bat suits him i think) and his own group like jl (which are the titans).

Stephanie Brown

now, stephanie would be introduced slightly before than tim. we get the whole spoiler first and that's how bruce meets her, he gives her the mantle of robin for a while after damian becomes black bat which pisses him off (there's probs less friction that what dick/jason's dynamic had in the og canon over robin but oh boi their relationship ain't good for a while). it's not a long run as robin because stephanie gets in trouble with black mask, which ends bad but not dead bad, and bruce, scared out of his mind, uses that as an excuse to push her away and fires her.

bruce would then have tim as a robin and stephanie would create batgirl.

batgirl gives stephanie more freedom than working with batman ever would, she's really headstrong and being able to improvise is her main forte so i think she would create a new mantle as a way to recover after what happened with black mask. later she'll be the one to give it to barbara and would return to spoiler also as a way to join tim (now red robin) in his search for bruce after he "dies".

Tim Drake

tim's obsessed with batman and robin right? he goes out and takes pictures of them every night and he probably figured out their identities through matching every single one of bruce's injuries with batman's absences or through figuring out stephanie's identity. when damian becomes black bat and soon after stephanie!robin is fired he probably does some calculations and realizes that batman solves more crimes with a robin than without one and he tries to convince stephanie to return but stephanie is recovering from black mask (and creating batgirl in the background) and also mad at bruce for firing her so she rejects it and tim's like well, guess it's gotta be me and goes to bruce. bruce doesn't want to because of what happened with black mask but tim's really insistent and bruce gives him the mantle of robin. stephanie doesn't like it much but accepts it, tim's intelligent and rich and that makes stephanie feel inferior, but later on tim and stephanie's relationship becomes something that pushes both of them to be better. tim's parents die and bruce adopts him which makes his relationship with damian turn bad, and damian grows to despise tim, in his head stephanie wasn't adopted (she still has her mum) so she never registered as a threat for the cowl but now tim's adopted and bruce considers him a son but then bruce fucking dies! or at least it's what they all think but tim's convinced he isn't (he isn't) so he leaves gotham and the mantle of robin behind and becomes red robin (i do actually like the red robin title a lot) to search for a way to get bruce back and is joined by spoiler in his search.

at this point damian takes up the cowl and becomes batman.

Jason Todd.

now, damian is batman, he doesn't like the idea of having a robin, tim and stephanie are world trotting, and that leaves only him and alfred in that mansion. is lonely and he regrets a lot of his past attitudes with tim and all of the fights with bruce, so he's a really cryptid version of batman, all alone and sticking to the shadows because he's a ninja. one day he's patrolling crime alley when surprise! a wild jason tries to steal the tires of the batmobile and well, damian hasn't seen that kind of spunk in a while and he laughs. damian likes jason a lot and offers him a place in the manor, offers to train him, makes him robin, his robin, not bruce's but one of his own choosing. so damian really likes jason and they work together well and jason loves damian, he's his family, his brother.

and then bruce returns, stephanie and tim being the ones that brought him back.

now bruce and jason take a while to adjust and it's more common to now see black bat and robin together but still, bruce is a good father right? tim's not that good with jason but tries, and stephanie loves jason because they both have similar backgrounds. by this point bruce has more experience as a father figure and jason gets adopted and truly comes to see bruce as his dad and starts calling him that but still the whole thing with the joker happens and jason fucking dies. this hits bruce HARD. way harder than in canon because by that point his family is so big and has manage to grow, there's damian and tim, and stephanie even if she's not adopted and he has good relationships with everyone but then jason dies and bruce loses damian too because in his grief damian blames bruce, blames himself, kills the joker and goes back to the league of shadows and talia. tim and stephanie are dealing with their own grief, alfred too, and this leaves bruce completely alone.

a grieving bruce finds dick and, seeing a reflection of his suffering, makes him robin

while dick was becoming robin we know what happens, jason digs himself out of his grave, spends a year in a coma, another catatonic in gotham's streets. nobody finds him, bruce probably saw him once or twice and thought it was a hallucination, stephanie and tim don't patrol crime alley, and damian returns to gotham before talia finds him. when talia finds him and hides him from ra's. she first wants to bring him back to health before returning him to damian because jason meant so much to him, enough to disobey bruce's only rule, but ra's finds out about jason and that he came back to life, they try to figure out how and ra's is the one with the idea to push him into the lazarus pit. now jason is trapped with the league, talia tells him how damian avenged him, how he still mourns him, there's no true resentment with bruce about the robin mantle being passed, and damian was the one that made him robin, not bruce. so he's trapped with the league but talia wants to return him to damian so she plans and in the meanwhile she sends jason on his world training tour promising him that he will return to gotham one day. talia helps him escape and jason returns to gotham under the mantle of red hood.

Dick Grayson

bruce is devastated. he doesn't know how to be batman anymore and he's completely alone, left by his family that's dealing with their own grief. that's when he sees a boy that reminds him so much of himself. a young dick grayson that just lost his parents and is angry at the world. but he's also a really happy and hopeful child and bruce wants to help him, he needs to help him because he can't fail another child again. so, dick becomes robin. tim takes as his responsibility to train dick because he never trained with jason and he cannot fail another brother.

stephanie in the background trains barbara and makes her batgirl.

dick grows as robin, alfred, stephanie and tim telling him stories of jason, of how good of a robin was and dick becomes enamoured by the image of robin!jason. bruce is wrapped in his grief and dick is doing his best and sometimes it's not enough and it's been almost two years then damian comes back. he and bruce make peace with each other but in their relationship there's a jason shaped hole that'll never heal. dick and damian get to know each other and damian tells him even more stories of jason, stories that make him look more human, more like a kid that made a few mistakes, instead of the perfect picture the others paint.

and then, the red hood appears.

bruce and dick try to investigate but the red hood is good. not only did he take over the organized crime of gotham, he cleared crime alley of any other gang and made it his territory. damian starts to act weird all of the sudden after chasing red hood once and returning empty handed. damian and red hood meet, damian discovers he's jason, jason feels like he has no home to return because he's too different now, obviously damian doesn't tell anybody yet but bruce suspects. bruce and jason confront each other and good dad!bruce begs him to come home. after that, it's an adjustment, jason wants to stay legally dead and keep his apartment in crime alley but would still visit the manor and dick with his hero crush on him would look for him all the time

A/N: this is more of a gen fic idea, but i'm a shipper at heart so maybe i woud add some jaydick romance when they're trying to convince jason to return to the family. but yeah, after this i have nothing concrete, i guess it ends here when they finally get to be a big family again. bruce probs has a lot of ptsd after jason's dead and maybe decides to retire at 50 and officially give the mantle to damian. dick becomes nightwing after robin and later barbara becomes oracle and creates the birds of prey. but yeah, my only problem with all of these ideas is that it looks like a really fucking long fic. hell, i would probably make different fics for each robin and make it a series so i can correctly develop each and everyone of their personalities and stories and give them time to grow, each work would probs be from bruce's and the current robin pov's. but also, you can totally see that jason's my favourite and i haven't developed that well some of the other robins, so i would probs write his part first and never come back to the rest. i just needed to share my ideas and if someone wants to pick them up please feel free to do it. i'll probably start to share more plot bunnies of the fics that i'll probably never get around to write.

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

Whumpmas in July 2024 - Day 8 - Describe your favorite type of whumper

This post is part of my participation in the 2024 @whumpmasinjuly event!

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There are so many great whumper types, but I've gotta go with creepy and intimate whumpers. There's something about them that makes me shudder and get whumperflies hardcore, especially when they seem one step ahead with their plans and are full of confidence that they have their whumpees under control. Some of these dudes can be the most evil and devious whumpers around.

Some creepy/intimate whumper things that I love:

Pet names for their whumpees. "Sweetie", "Dear", "Love", "Pet"... Anything that shows that the whumpee is their property or that they're affectionate toward them in some way

Touching and intimacy, whether the whumpee wants it or not. Gently stroking a whumpee's cheek, kissing, hugging, cuddling, running fingers through whumpee's hair, tilting their chin up up look at them, rubbing their hands over the whumpee's back... I love itttttt. Violence and hard hits can be fun, but when a whumper can make their whumpee fall to pieces with a gentle touch... OOOH~ <3

Caretaking. Maybe the whumpee is crying and the whumper is trying to comfort them, or maybe the whumper is simply giving whumpee food. It's the little moments of sweetness and care that help flavor these whumpers so well. Are they gentle and genuine, or are they mocking and belittling?

Affirmations of love. "You're beautiful like this", "I'm so happy that you're mine." "You're safe." "Shhh, shhh. It's okay." These are lines that would be wonderful coming from a caretaker or loved one, but whumper is the one saying them, putting a whole different twist and meaning to the words.

Threats. When things go south and the doting whumper threatens whumpee in some way. Is the threat personal? Do they say they'll harm someone important to whumpee? Do they know the little ways to get to whumpee? Are they so in tune with who whumpee is that the punishment they think up is something that will really shatter them on a deep level? What do they know, and how will they use that knowledge to harm?

Their pleasure, not whumpee's. They keep going when the whumpee begs for them to stop. They say things like "This is for your own good", and maybe in their own sick twisted way they actually believe it. They want what they want, and nothing will stop them. Maybe they even enjoy their harm more when whumpee is protesting.

Proof that they know their whumpees. It's the whumpee's birthday and whumper gets them exactly what they'd want, but it feels wrong coming from whumper. They're out at a restaurant and whumper stops whumpee from ordering something because they know that the dish contains an ingredient that whumpee is allergic to (alternatively, they DO let the whumpee order it just so they'll suffer later). Any time that a whumper knows a whumpee just as well as (if not better than) they know themselves, that's the good stuff.

Confidence. When the whumpers are so sure that they have things under their complete control that they feel comfortable enough to mess with the whumpee in the first place. It's the "No one will save you"s and the "You're all mine now"s that get me.

What creepy/intimate whumper tropes did I miss? Are there any on this list that you particularly enjoy? There sure are some vile villains and characters out there that are creepy whumpers, but I can't help but be fascinated by them. Gotta love those whumperflies!

---

Tags: @whumpmasinjuly-archive

[itsmistyeyedbi]

of plants and dresses

Pairing: F!Detective/Farah Hauville

Word Count: 1,4k

Prompt: Fix (and Fall)

Warnings: There's nsft content in the last half of this. Nothing crazy I think, but it's there.

Tags: @happyhauvillebday

Summary: One of Zuri’s plant pots fell somehow, and Farah decided to fix it. This is nsft so minors dni!

Zuri’s apartment is full of plants.

Seriously, they're everywhere.

Farah remembers the first time she saw it. After Zuri found out about the supernatural world and the truth about Murphy, Unit Bravo were put on watch duty.

They spent ages squished into her tiny, silver hatchback with her and Nate sitting up front, giggling at her fighting for space in the back with Adam and Morgan. And once they were free of that hell, they went up two floors, took a left and spent a good minute going back and forth over house rules while Zuri psyched herself up to open the door.

When she finally did it was nothing but greenery.

They lined the windowsills, sat on counters and tables and her bookshelf, hung off the walls and ceiling. They're in the kitchen, the living room, her bedroom, her bathroom. One day Farah asked for a tour and got to learn some of their names. She even got to name some of the new ones!

Humans love to talk about the afterlife. If there’s one for plants, Zuri’s apartment was it.

She just needs to… rethink where she puts some of them. Or the type of pots she puts them in at least.

Farah is in the living room, sitting cross legged on the floor and staring at the pieces of an orange, ceramic plant pot on the coffee table. They are glinting in the light from the lamp she turned on - she doesn't need it to see better but it doesn't hurt to be extra careful.

The pieces have been cleaned and I did a test run on what Frankensteining them together will be like. Now to glue.

Nate glances over the top of his book, eyeing the super glue in her hands from his seat on the couch. “Perhaps you should put more newspaper underneath the pot. Just in case.”

“No way! What if it gets stuck on it? I won't be able to rinse it off, it'll ruin it. Besides, you,” she narrows her eyes at him and purses her lips, “are supposed to be reading and not hovering over me.”

“I'm not hovering, I just-”

“Don't worry, Natey, I won't mess up your precious, antique coffee table. Now shush, I wanna have this done before she gets here.”

She turns her attention back to the task at hand, ignoring Nate's sigh and waiting for him to turn a page before taking off the lid of the tube in her hand.

She reaches for the biggest piece, turns it delicately in her hand. She can do this, she knows she can do it. There aren't that many pieces. She just needs to take it nice and slow. With a deep breath she squeezes the tube and applies the glue on the jagged edge; she puts it down, picks up the piece that aligns with and holds them together for a few seconds.

And that's it.

Well then.

That was easier than expected. She didn't even realise she stopped breathing.

It's fixed in less than an hour. Nothing broke, nothing got stuck to things it shouldn't and she managed to add a little pizzazz to it too. After a final inspection, she stands over the ceramic pot and dusts off her hands.

“Done at last,” she grins and puts her hands on her hips. She looks over at Nate and bends at the waist to catch his eye. “And your table survived. It got a little decorated, but survived.”

Thud.

Huh. That's the fastest she's seen him close a book.

“Excuse me!?” Nate puts the book down beside him with some force and stands up to make his way to the table. “Decorated? Why would you do- oh.”

He gives her a deadpan look. Farah laughs and nudges him with her elbow.

“Come on, you've gotta have more faith in me than that. I've just gotta remove the newspapers and it'll be squeaky clean.”

He huffs and shakes his head before looking at the plant pot. He tilts his head a bit, smiling softly while nodding in approval, “It looks good. The stitching detail you added makes the cracks look intentional.”

“I know, right? I really hope she likes it.”

Their heads swivel towards the direction of the entrance as their ears catch the sound of Zuri’s car slowing to a stop outside the warehouse. A thrill of excitement runs through her. Just in time.

Nate returns to his seat, leaning back with his book in hand as he raises a brow and asks the questions she's been trying her best to prevent him from asking. “How did it break, anyway? Did something happen?”

“Oh, well, something would have to happen for it to fall over wouldn't it? It wouldn't fall by itself,” her voice pitches up as she speaks and she takes a few, frantic steps away from the coffee table. She laughs sheepishly and rubs the back of her neck with her hand. “So yeah, something happened. Obviously, but it wasn't bad…”

-

“Keep this on.”

Farah shudders as Zuri whispers in her ear, brushing her lips against it before sucking gently. The hands on her waist trail down to her hips, gripping them tightly and pulling her in, keeping them firmly against hers.

Farah can barely remember how they got here, the events of the day are all lost in a haze. She can vaguely recall going shopping and sending Zuri pictures of herself in a new sundress, some of them were steamy… It hardly matters now. All she wants to do right now is to get as close to her as possible. She wants her kisses, her hands, her.

She wants her. And she wants her to show her just how much she appreciates those pictures.

Farah lets out a breathless laugh and cups the base of her head. “I don't think I'll ever take it off with you reacting to it like this.”

“Oh, I'd like it off at some point,” Zuri walks her backwards until the back of her knees hit the window seat, her nose brushing against her skin as she slowly moves down to the place her neck meets her shoulder. Her lips tickle her skin while she speaks. “It's gorgeous, especially on you, but I don't think I could stand having anything between us for long.”

“Then you'll have to make the most of me wearing it now.”

“I plan to.”

She slowly coaxes her to sit down. Farah keeps her arms around her to pull her down with her. She doesn't want anything between them either. But the dress can stay for now, it's just thin enough for it to not really be in the way. Zuri’s touch is just as effective at turning her into a puddle with it on.

Her feet are off the floor the moment her ass touches the seat. She spreads her legs and just as she goes to wrap them around Zuri, her knee knocks into something and-

Crash.

From the wall to the seat to the floor, a potted plant falls.

They freeze, eyes darting from the broken plant pot to each other. Shit, she didn't mean to do that. Aren't those plants usually mounted higher up on the wall? She swears it wasn't there before. Farah braces herself for some kind of scolding or an expression of disappointment, but instead-

Zuri’s shoulders shake with laughter she's trying to keep in, and then her face scrunches up and she wheezes.

Farah must make a funny face at that because she bursts into laughter, and she can't help but join her. Zuri rests her forehead against hers, braids falling onto Farah's chest. She lets her laughter peter out and watches her with a grin. She's always thought Zuri was beautiful but she always manages to stun her into silence in moments like this, where she's laughing and smiling and happy, genuinely happy. And she'll never get over the fact that she's the reason she is.

Eventually her laughter stops and Farah takes the opportunity to say something. “Sheesh. I forget how flexible I am sometimes. Sorry, babe.”

“Don't worry about it,” Zuri giggles, shaking her head and cupping Farah's face. “That's hardly something to apologise for. And it's not too bad, I can fix it later.”

“Or you could leave that to me.”

“Hmm?”

Farah shrugs, wrapping her legs around her and putting her hands on her back. “I could fix it for you. Like you said, it's not too bad.”

“That's sweet, but you don't have to.”

“I know, but I want to.”

Zuri strokes her cheeks with her thumbs, pursing her lips in thought before smiling at her with a hint of mischief in her eyes. “Okay. But you'll have to let me show you how thankful I am for that at some point, in whatever way you want.”

“Deal.”

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I just HAVE TO ask for someone else's opinion on this lil theory of mine. Hear me out. I think that in book7 Leona gotta pull through just like we all know Idia will, as in he will play an important active role in the story. Because I feel like 1- Leona is the only one in the OB gang who's story arc still haven't concluded and 2- If there's someone in NRC who's ready to beat up Malmal it is Leona. 3- those new character name tags are sus, both Leona and Idia have the title of king and there's always seems to be some sort of dynamic between both of them. (Believe me it just makes sense to me and tbh I might be lowkey just hoping for more Leona lol)

Mmm, I don’t think that’s likely 😅 just for the reason that this would interrupt the pacing of book 7 and give one extra OB boy more screen time than the rest (which is unfair to everyone else).

The focus of book 7 is already heavily bloated by the importance of the others in Diasomnia, plus the Ignihyde brothers and the family members of each. Including Leona in there might also rob Idia and Ortho of their own time in the spotlight to cap off their development and growth from last book. Maybe it’s possible (since book 6 did juggle all of the prior OB boys), but again it would still be unfair to only give more screen presence to one of them instead of all of them. Back then, Leona and everyone else also expressed a desire to beat up Idia for what he’s done, so I don’t think the attitude is exclusive to Leona when their lives are all in danger.

I think the reason why Leona’s arc may feel “incomplete” is because book 2’s writing was generally not good?? But in reality, I don’t think anyone has had a full change in character as a result of those arcs yet. All of the OB boys are still very much going through it and learning new ways to cope with and adapt to their personality quirks and backgrounds. (We see this as late as book 6 for all the OB boys, not just Leona.)

In regards to the new character titles, I don’t know if those can be used as evidence for anything yet?? They’re just vague enough to summarize each character’s overall vibe. Basically all the dorm leaders have some kind of synonym for someone very powerful, but it doesn’t denote a strong relationship between them. For example, I could say that both Malleus and Riddle go by “Ruler” (Ruler of the Abyss and Rose-Red Ruler, respectively). Does that mean I think Riddle alone will snap out of his dream to team up with Idia and smack Malleus upside the head to make the story come full circle (ie book 1 dorm leader vs book 7 dorm leader)??? No, I’d just say the wording is a coincidence.

With the breakneck pace book 7 is already going at, I think it’s better that they just stay centered on the Diasomnia drama and cast instead of shifting to include one random other character in it. If there’s going to be a shift anyway, I’d imagine it would be shared among many characters and thus each person has a very short and limited segment to shine.

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Chapter 4

While on a routine mission for Cid, the Bad Batch encounter a woman fleeing from the Empire. Crosshair suspects her seemingly free-spirited, nomadic existence is actually a cover for something else, but struggles to keep his attraction toward her in check as their personalities and ideals clash.

Relevant tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut (not for a few chapters still), Canon-Typical Violence

Chapters posted 1-2x weekly!

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3

Chapter 4 summary: The Batch are so bad at being under the radar. They learn more about the mysterious woman; Crosshair doesn't trust her.

“Don’t go to sleep, burk’yc.” Crosshair could see the woman nodding off any time he left her with a few moments of silence. She blinked her eyes open again and refilled her mug with more hot water.

“You’re not exactly the most fascinating conversationalist,” she remarked. She eyed his rifle, which he was methodically cleaning and breaking down, his post-mission ritual. “You’re not a bad shot. I saw the trooper helmets when you were done with them. Guess that’s where you get the name. Bullseye, was it?”

“It’s Crosshair. And I’m better than not bad,” he scoffed testily.

“I suppose that’s why you waited until after I was shot to step in. Or maybe you’re just scared of the Empire.” Her voice was neutral, but she had played her hand too obviously; she was goading him, probing for information just like he was.

He reined himself in and went on the offensive. “I wonder,” he purred, “if your hair’s that color everywhere.”

Crosshair expected steel, fury, maybe a flush coming over her cheeks. Instead, she ran her fingers through her locks disinterestedly, picking out the leaves he had noticed before. Both ears, he observed as her hair was smoothed out of the way, were pierced from top to bottom with a series of small silver rings. “It didn’t used to be. Last few years haven’t been the gentlest for the galaxy, have they?” She nodded at the closely cropped gray hairs that coated his own head, growing back patchily around the burn scar at his temple. “What’s your excuse, grandpa?”

“Genetic enhancement,” he replied cryptically.

“Guess that explains the big guy.” She gestured to Wrecker, who was dead-lifting Gonky at the other end of the ship, before offering her beverage to Crosshair. “It’s supposed to be a communal practice,” she explained in response to his raised eyebrow. He made no motion to take it, eliciting a shrug from her. “That’s alright. I always drink it alone anyway.”

“What? No one likes sharing with you?”

“My life seems like it’s a lot less…communal…than yours.” She glanced vaguely around the ship, which was littered with evidence of their co-habitation. “I suppose mercenaries run in packs.”

“We’re not mercenaries,” Hunter interrupted, rejoining them. He had always taken issue with that term. “We’re clone troopers.”

Crosshair prickled a little. He would never understand why the others had been so difficult to track down during his time with the Empire. Hunter didn’t seem to get the finer points of staying off the radar, since he took the opportunity to expose who they were to the first pretty face they came across.

“Haven’t seen a lot of clone troopers that look like you all.” The woman offered Hunter the mug; sniffing curiously, he took a sip.

“It’s good. Thank you,” he said. Crosshair could tell what Hunter was doing. Where the sniper was rigid, aloof, difficult, the sergeant could be considerate, relatable, diplomatic. He thinks he can break you down this way. But he’ll only get a more amenable version of you, the marksman thought. The woman’s face did appear to soften as his brother continued. “We’re a bit different from the rest of them. But with the Republic gone, none of us are soldiers anymore. Gotta find ways to make ends meet.”

The woman seemed to be opening up. Crosshair didn’t trust a minute of it. “Yeah, I know all about that. It’s hard to get by these days.” She turned to Hunter with a small smile. “I’m Dara.”

“Dara.” He smiled back at her. “Any reason we should be worried that the Empire might come looking for you, Dara?”

She shook her head. “The shuttle really was… well, not exactly a misunderstanding. I just panicked. I’ve been traveling. I was staying in a village on Takodana when the Empire began rounding up all the villagers—I have no idea why. I hid and tried to make a break for my ship, but some troopers spotted me. The shuttle was closest. I managed to take off but it took a hit before I entered hyperspace, and that was just where I ended up when my systems started failing.”

Hunter looked thoughtful. “Well, they probably won’t come after you. But I wouldn’t risk going back to Takodana. You likely won’t be getting your ship back.”

He was already heading back to his bunk when Dara spoke up again. “Thank you. I mean it. All of you.” She shot grateful looks at Tech and Crosshair in particular. “I’m lucky you found me when you did.” She was treated with another smile from Hunter as he left. Tech looked rather pleased with himself.

Crosshair leaned toward her, drinking in her beatific expression as he looked into her eyes. “Liar,” he hissed. Even as her expression remained largely impassive, her eyes glinted and nostrils flared ever-so-slightly, hinting at the snarl she was just barely containing. There, he though, leaning back satisfactorily. The knife’s edge of her self-control. That was a start.

Next chapter

[youlikefanficdontyousquidward]

RECOMe again?

The reader must navigate interacting with their fellow recoms despite having betrayed them as a human! Does anyone know their secret?

Chapter 1, 2

Notes: Y/N (Your name), Y/LN (Your last name), na'vi dialogue in bold, fic will contain swearing, violence, NSFW NOW IN THIS CHAPTER, reader's bits are not specified, penetration.

If there are any specific triggers people would like warned for let me know (^・ω・^ )

Eventual miles x reader, with some lyle x reader and a lil zdog x reader

Its Lyle time babies! _(:з)∠)_

This chapter was difficult to write so it's a little short, but already workin on no. 4!

Tag list: @buzzing-honeybee @lazyassmermaid @secretflowerobservation @hihhasotherfixations @perseny @ratchetprime211 @symptoms-of-moonlight

Chapter 3

You were still dripping, pacing back and forth in your room. You should shower, get into some warm clothes but your mind was racing. You felt like a shark, if you stopped moving you'd be dead. They were gonna interrogate Spider using the machines downstairs, if he let slip you'd helped you were done for. Worse than that the poor kid was being tortured and there was no way you could intervene while keeping your cover.

There was no knock, Lyle just came in. There was no hint of humor on his face as he closed the door, locking it. You'd frozen, paused mid stride. You were feeling a lot like a deer in headlights. He stared you down, eyes colder than you felt.

"Look, I know what you did back there." He glanced down, not able to maintain eye contact. You continued to stare, Lie.

"What?" Lie better! You couldn't think of what to say, you instead focused on breathing, slow and steady. Your tail swished gently, not fully hinting at the fear that flooded your mind, keeping a more curious rhythm. His eyes met your again, brows furrowed in anger.

"You know what I mean! I know you've always had a little soft spot for them and they were kids too so that's gotta make it worse but this isn't like before with your scientist buddies. Things are different now and if they catch you going soft... I dunno but I don't want that." Your ears perked, he didn't actually know the full extent of things. You could play this. You walked forward, letting your fingers graze down from his biceps to his hands. He shuddered under your touch, eyes closing.

"Y/n... just promise to be careful huh? Just stick to orders." He lent forward, placing his forehead to yours and rubbing them together. You'd never seen Lyle so soft? Your heart fluttered a little, his normal cocky flirtatious attitude melted away.

"I promise. It was stupid, your right." You reassured him. Keep him quiet and you just might be able to keep this up until you could get away with Spider. He took a hand from yours cupping your cheek, his features a smoothed out, a light smile gracing his lips again. Lyle's tail swished eagerly behind him, that musky smell wafting off his skin.

"Quaritch's dealing with the kid right now, be heading out again tomorrow. I've got a little time. God you're freezing" His other hand snaked around your back, pulling you gently against him. You hummed against him, enjoying his warmth. You tilted his head up, looking him right in the eye as his darted to your parted lips.

You weren't sure who moved first but you were kissing him and he was kissing you back. He dug fingers through your hair, tugging it a little. You moaned into his mouth, giving him room to slip his tongue past your lips. You'd kissed him before but he felt more desperate now, feverish in his need to touch all of you. His hands never stopping roaming and pinching and groping.

You felt a pang of guilt again, you betrayed him once, and you were going to do it again. Still you couldn't help being caught up in this moment and you let it sweep you away.

You walked him back to the desk chair.

"Sit." You spoke firmly but there was a coy smile across your lips. He did so immediately, tail practically wagging behind him. You smirked at his obedience, climbing into his lap, knees either side of his thighs. It was a tight fit, the desk chair had been made big enough for a na'vi, one na'vi.

His hands were back on you, roaming and gripping, pushing you down into his obvious bulge. You took his wrists, pulling away from his mouth, be actually whined. You placed his hands firmly on the arm rests of the chair.

"Hands here." You wondered if he'd obey again. You were drunk on the idea of having this much power over your commanding officer, the image of Quaritch like this briefly flashing in your mind. You cast thoughts of him aside, he'd never go for you and he'd never let you do this. Lyle sat patiently as you ran your hands down his chest, his stomach, round the hem of his shorts. He stiffened, bucking slightly, trying to get more contact.

You lent forward, kissing him lazily, as your pushed his shorts down. His already erect member bounced free, pressing against your stomach as you pulled away from his kiss. His face followed momentarily before his eyes fluttered opened to watch what you'd do.

You pulled your top over your head, watching as his pupils dilated and his breath hitched. Another wave of that musky smell hit you, it was intoxicating. You moaned a little, pulling you trousers and pants off together and began rubbing yourself. Lyle's hands were there immediately, attempting to take over the task. You swatted them away, still wanting to test his resolve.

"Hands where?" They immediately went back to grip the arm rests. His eyes were so dark you could hardly make out the slight honey yellow of his iris.

"Good boy, don't make me repeat myself." He whined again, hips raising up but quickly stilling. Maybe worried you'd punish him? The thought amused you a little. All the responsibility of second in command out there but in here, he just wanted told what to do.

You continued to rub yourself, letting out breathy moans in his ears, letting him kiss at your jaw and neck. You reached under yourself, gripping the base of his cock in your hand. He was thicker than you'd imagined and you worried about how he'd fit but between the musk and his moans you could think of nothing else than having him inside of you.

You lined him up, sinking down, inch by painful inch. You hissed slightly, feeling him stretch you but as you reached the base it'd already began to feel good. A slick of your own had formed and helped as you eased yourself back up his length before slapping right back down again. He groaned, begging you to go faster, pleads and compliments rolling endlessly out of his mouth.

You obliged, bouncing in his lap, chasing your own high. You could feel a knot forming, your own pleasure mounting higher and higher. Your own moans now drowning out his incoherent rambling. You could heard a creaking sound somewhere distant but ignored it, instead focusing on the delightful feeling flooding your senses.

You came hard, muscles twitching, feeling lightheaded, clenching so tightly around Lyle that he could barley keep it together. You continued to ride him through your own orgasm and with a sudden cracking sound he growled his own into your neck.

Your own head rolled limply on his shoulder, lolling to the side to look down to the arm rests. Your eyes widened. You looked up, twisting to see the other was the same. He'd broken them both, cracked and splintered plastic sharply jagging out from where they'd connected to the chair. You couldn't help but laugh a little, Lyle groaned a little as you did.

"Feels funny while I'm still in you." He smiled, pressing his sweaty forehead to your own.

"You can move your hands again." You smiled, suddenly feeling a little nervous in his lap. He smirked, running his hands down your back before placing them under your ass. He stood, lifting you up with him, slipping out of you as he walked over to your bed. He lay down, keeping you straddled across him. You smiled, flopping your head down onto his chest.

"Think we can go again a few more times before 0600?"

..............................................................................................................................

You didn't end up 'going again', both too exhausted from the day. You barley managed to get up and showered before you were supposed to meet Quaritch and the others at the hanger.

Zdog had caught up with you, jogging lightly to get there on time. She'd tilted her head at you, before a nasty smirk crossed her face.

"Oh you better do your buttons up private l/n, wouldn't want anyone else seeing those." She gestured to your neck and you flushed, mentally cursing yourself for letting Lyle latch on to it last night. You quickly pulled you collar up, strapping the coms in place and hoping it'd hide the worst of it.

"No judgement here! We all got our needs." Zdog continued giggling at your distress.

The roll call and mission plan went rather awkwardly. You couldn't help but feel the others watching you. Mansk and Prager had quickly turned away when you'd entered the room, laughing to themselves. You glared at their backs before turning your head to Lyle, he held his hands up but he looked guilty as hell. Oh he'd told them! Anger burned in your chest, it'd always been a private thing you two had shared before. You assumed that it would've stayed that way but obviously he'd blabbed.

To make it worse you were pretty sure it'd gotten to Quaritch too, who seemed unable to look at you the whole meeting. You stewed on the chopper, Zdog squeezing your knee but keeping her mouth shut now. Lyle for his part seemed to feel bad about it, tail and ears flopped low the whole ride. He hid up front from your glares, beside a tense looking Quaritch.

Spider was a pleasant distraction. Constantly trying to touch things and getting tugged back to his seat by your increasingly aggravated Colonel.

"Sit kid, he means it when he says he'll smack you." You spoke softly to him, tugging him down onto the seat opposite yours. His eyes darting to the still yellow bruising around your eye. He gulped a little, fidgeting before turning back to you.

"Do they speak na'vi?" Spider asked, looking conspiratorially between you and the others. You rolled your eyes, you'd have to teach him to be more subtle.

"Poorly but yes, so keep quiet." Quaritch's ears perked, he turned from whatever conversation he'd been having with the pilot to look at you too.

"If we're going down there I need my stripes back, the animals respect me if I have them" You knew what he was talking about. The kid had been painted with stripes like the ones that now crossed your own body. They'd actually packed some kind of body paint for the kid but you suppose it'd be hard to apply yourself.

"No worries, sit down here, I'll help." He grinned up at you before catching himself, and nodding muttering a thanks. You figured it'd still take some time to fully gain his trust. He'd fallen only to find himself back as a captive, though his free family must have softened his opinion of you somewhat.

During the process you brushed a particularly sensitive rib causing Spider to knock the paint up. A small splash hit your face and top. His face went pale and he'd began apologizing when you'd grabbed his sides to tickle him further. Only stopping when Quaritch's head whipped round, you both stilled immediately, him sighing and turning away again.

You looked to Spider who was now barely holding in a laugh. You smirked, flicking paint from your fingers at his mask. He barked out, clamping his mouth shut when Quaritch turned again, irritation across his face. You kept your face plane, cocking your head. He said nothing, but didn't fully turn back.

Lyle was smiling over at you clearly enjoying seeing you smiling again. You let your features drop when you met his eyes, his ears tipping he turned away.

..............................................................................................................................

It was most a days hike before you'd set up camp in a clearing. Spider seemed to stick somewhere between yourself and Quaritch at all times. He'd lightened enough to joke about the Colonel's poor language skills and lack of knowledge of the forests. Quaritch seemed to have taken this on board. Even though his attitude sounded dismissive he was clearly listening to his kid.

Your eyes followed them around the makeshift camp, Spider oscillating between eager to talk and trying to real himself in. It'd be almost sweet if it didn't break your heart to watch. The kid was clearly starving for attention, maybe being the human of the family wasn't all it was cracked up to be.

Your thoughts were interrupted by Lyle flopping down next to you. You scowled again.

"Aww buttercup don't look at me like that!" He bumped against your arm lightly.

"I'm not your buttercup asshole." You spat, it'd do you better to keep him sweet on you but you were pissed. "Just some slut you got some with, go brag about it again!" You kept your voice low but you could see Zdogs ears twitching across the fire, ready to come to your aid if things sounded bad.

"Aww come on it wasn't like that!" Lyle kicked a twig towards the flames, ears pulled down. You caught to stinging scent, you recognized it, shame. You looked him in the eyes again, urging him to go on.

"Apparently I smelt like you. I promise I didn't say a word, they just saw your neck and...."

"Alright I get it. Maybe ease off the hickeys next time." You nudged him.

"Next time?" He grinned down at you, you scoffed, pushing his chest. With a loud whoop he tumbled over onto his back, you laughing loudly at him.

..............................................................................................................................

As night drew in Spider made his way to your side. He shifted uncomfortably next to you, trying to sleep on his side but the mask kept digging into his jaw. The rest where asleep, bar Mansk who'd taken first watch. Spider's eyes opened again, seeing that you were still awake as well.

"I can't sleep." His voice was barely audible even with his closeness.

"Me neither. I wanted to ask you something." Spider nodded, face falling ever so slightly. "How'd I die?"

Spider stilled suddenly, holding his breath. His eyes shifted away and he shifted around, he hummed slightly. Seeing how uncomfortable the topic made him you decided to shift your question.

"Sorry that's maybe a bit much, did you know me?" You were still desperate for something but this question seemed more appropriate. Spider looked at you again, face more relaxed.

"Yeah, a little. I don't think you like me much." Spider seemed sheepish now, keeping his eyes from yours.

"Really? huh, that surprises me." It was strange to think you'd have not liked a little toddler. You'd never been big on babies but you weren't mean to them, not enough to have made that big of an impression. You must have changed a lot in the few weeks after the copy was made.

"It does?" Spider looked back at you now, something painfully hopeful in his eyes.

"Yeah, your a great kid, anyone would be proud to have you in their lives." You thought back to what you'd heard from his interrogation. He was brave, loyal what he must have been like as an infant to set you against him was beyond you. He seemed stunned, just nodding a little before turning to face the stars. You followed suit, trying to spy the constellation Earth was nestled in. You'd never regretted coming to Pandora but you did wish it hadn't have changed you so much. You shifted trying to make your tail feel more comfortable. Your eyes growing too heavy to continue your search, you let sleep seep into you.

[angelsmist]

WAR OF HEARTS - 2

prompt: your sister, princess afia and princess shuri had been placed into an arranged marriage. this did not work in your favor, because of your secret feelings towards shuri. soon, it grew into hatred, and you and shuri could barely be in the same room without some type of argument ensuing. but, that tension’s gotta be released somehow…

contains: kinda smut towards the end, but not really in detail

authors note: thank y’all for the love on the first part omg 😭 i don’t write full on smut i’m sorry but i’ll still continue this storyline cause it’s fun writing tensionnn

also please lmk what you’d like to see from this story in requests!!

tags - @ziayamikaelson @nil-eena @taleiakirby @remwritess @letitias-fav @szalipcombo @noneofyabuisnezs @luxuriouslokistan-3 @prettymuchboodup @miiyafantasy @realaffatar @slytherin-34

it had been around two weeks since your interaction with shuri, and it constantly replayed in your mind since the night it happened. everytime you saw her, that was all you could think about. she knew it, too. she could tell the effect she had left on you, and she loved it.

she was gaining dominance, and you absolutely hated it. the bickering between you two was always leveled, but she was now slowly raising above you. you refused to let that happen.

you needed the chance to gain the upper-hand.

lucky for you, the opportunity came up pretty soon. your parents had sent you and afia to wakanda to socialize or something like that. you two were used to it. sometimes shuri or t’challa would be the ones to come to your nation, and vice versa. in this case, you and your sister were in wakanda.

you hadn’t intended to see shuri any more than you needed to. you hated the arrogant laughs you’d receive from the princess every time you shrunk under her gaze.

so, when you received a call from Kimoyo Beads that were gifted to you from the nation, you were more than surprised to see it was from shuri.

she had informed you that she was working on something in the lab, but was stumped on one thing. she knew that you’d be a great assistance with the obstacle and required your help.

originally, you were going to decline. but it was almost twelve in the morning. so it wouldn’t be unusual if you showed up in pajamas that were somewhat distracting. just as a retaliation to what happened before.

you wore black shorts with white lines tracing on the hem of them. your thick thighs were just the icing on the cake to go with the way it made your butt pop. to go with the shorts, you wore a flowy, white crop top that stopped just above your belly button. normally, you would just wear any random clothes to sleep as long as they were comfortable, but clearly, this was not a normal situation. your hair was packed messily into a ponytail.

you entered shuri’s lab and realized the only two people left were already getting ready to pack up and leave. perfect.

griot spoiled the fun for you and informed shuri of your presence.

“princess shuri, princess (name) is approaching.”

her body slowly turned away from the table she was seated at to look at you. she still held the same confident smirk she always had since that night. well, until your appearance registered in her head.

you continued to act clueless about the fact that her eyes were looking everywhere except for your gaze. you made your way over to the stool she was at, clearing your throat. “it’s late shuri. this better be important.”

“uhh,” she dragged out, trying to stay focused on the task at hand. “the details are, uh, on that tablet.”

you hummed in acknowledgment, mindlessly picking up the device from the table, swiping upwards to get the information displayed as a hologram in front of the two of you.

you bent one knee slightly to rest your body on it, knowing it’d get some type of reaction out of shuri.

“okay, so, from my understanding, you’re trying to fix the vibranium gauntlets? killmonger attacked a while ago. why now?”

“not that i owe you an answer, but i was still recovering from the blip. remember that?” her last words had clear sarcasm in them.

“obviously,” you retorted. the blip was a time you did not like to bring up. fortunately, you didn’t have to endure the pain of losing your loved ones for five years, but it was hard to adjust to.

that was almost two years ago, and you preferred to leave it in your past.

shuri brought out the gauntlets from under the table carefully, setting laying both of them out in front of you. she pointed at the actual lethal part of the gauntlet. “erik crushed this part. i was able to put back together, but they don’t work. i can’t figure out why.”

you stared at the gauntlets momentarily. after that, you sauntered over to the hologram of the schematics. you were aware that shuri had a perfect view of your backside. still, you refrained from letting even the tiniest smile show on your face.

“i think you underestimated just how much damage killmonger did to this. maybe you’ll just have to remake the blaster part of the gauntlet. but of course you didn’t consider that, did you?”

when she didn’t answer, you turned around to see what had her occupied. apparently, it was you. she was out of her stool and much, much closer to you. once again, you bit back a smile, looking slightly upwards to meet her eyes. “did you hear me, princess?”

“you think i don’t know what you’re doing?” she inquired, taking a threatening step towards you. you could tell she had already began to trying to get control by the look in her eyes. but you knew that she wouldn’t get to. not this time.

“enlighten me,” you replied.

she let out a scoff at your fake obliviousness. shuri took yet another step. “you come into my lab, dressed like that, and expect me not to see through your act?”

you placed a hand on your hip. “i’m not sure if you’re aware of this, but normally, people are asleep by twelve in the morning. i simply just didn’t feel like changing.”

the udaku let out a sigh of frustration. you couldn’t tell if she was actually upset or just sexually upset. or both.

“is this about the other night? did i leave you feeling some type of way?”

“i think you’ll have to remind me of what you’re referring to,” you teased, raising an eyebrow. to even the field, you took a step towards her.

you didn’t actually expect her to reply. you thought she’d just make a face. “you know…the night where you almost kissed me.”

your jaw dropped a bit. you were offended “me? i almost kissed you? you’re the one who brought your face towards mine. you wanted me to kiss you.”

“and yet i’m the one who walked away,” she grinned. you dropped your head, averting her gaze. you didn’t have anything to say to her, seeing as she wasn’t wrong.

you must’ve been staring at the floor for a few seconds. your attention was grabbed when you saw someone else’s shoes come into your view.

you looked up, knowing who they belonged to. shuri tilted her head, looking almost sorry. she was maybe a foot away from you.“nothing to say? no comeback, or insult for me?”

maybe this could still work in your favor. you moved your head forwards to her face, narrowing your eyes. “what happened was a mistake. i can assure you it won’t happen again.”

“i’m not sure you actually mean that,” she said, bringing her face closer to yours as well.

you just needed her to do one thing. just one thing and you could call it a nights just…one thing.

when you saw her brown orbs finally drop to your lips, you let the smile you had been hiding this entire time slip.

she was so close to you. so close. that’s when you knew you had won this match. satisfied, you moved your body backwards, ready to walk away from princess. you were done for the night.

but apparently, shuri was not.

you felt her hand grip onto your wrist, preventing you from moving any further. the girl was certainly stronger than she looked.

she brought you into her chest. then, she used her finger to lift your jaw up to look her in the eye. “don’t ever think for a second that you could make me fold.”

with that, she hungrily dived onto your lips. the sudden action made you take a step or two back, but shuri chased your face the entire time, not letting your lips lose contact with hers.

you had about a million alarms going off in your head, many of them drenched with guilt. but shuri was like a drug, and you couldn’t get enough.

you gasped quietly when you felt her cold hands trail up your torso. they moved upwards, eventually reaching beneath your loose shirt. shuri used the gasp you let out as an opportunity to slip her tongue into your mouth.

her hands dropped back down to the lower side of your body, making their way to your thighs. she softly tapped the both of them, pushing you against a glass table that was behind you. you understood what she was trying to get you to do, so you hopped onto the table with her help.

once you were on the table, shuri finally took her lips off yours, making her way down to your neck. you took this as an opportunity to speak. “my sister-”

she stopped kissing your neck almost immediately, making you suddenly feel bare.

she looked you in the eye, and you couldn’t see anything but lust beneath them. “your sister doesn’t care what we do.”

you had a lot more to say, but you didn’t. as wrong as it felt to be doing this, you didn’t wanna stop. she started back onto your neck, sucking harder than before.

“don’t you dare leave a mark,” you warned, trying to stifle the sounds you wanted to make feeling her mouth on your collarbone.

shuri spoke against your skin, making your insides tingle and send shivers down your spine. “shhh.”

she moved back up to your lips, rougher this time. her lips tasted amazing. you were dreading the end of whatever this was. the princess tugged at your shirt, silently asking you to remove it.

it came off easily, and as soon as it was removed from your body, she grabbed it and hurled it across the room.

“just so you know, this is a one-time thing,” you breathed out before lunging for her lips like she was water in a desert.

you could feel her smile against your lips. “you and i both know that’s not true.”

[sapphire-weapon]

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

[feralsteddie]

So i need to hear about you Steve & Argyle friendship thoughts because I keep seeing them in your tags and I think they’re such an underrated duo that would probably get along so well together?????

ohmygod THANK YOU I’ve been waiting for an excuse to go off about them. Fics always leave out Argyle or have Steve just think he’s Jonathan’s weird friend and like, I get it, but we could do so much better guys

Like okay I have a couple of different ideas for them. One is nearly canon compliant (aka Hawkins still splits open so we still gotta wait on a boss fight, but Eddie lives, bc I said so) and the other is au where Vecna bites it, Eddie just got a lil nibbled, the charges got dropped, and everything is in the realm of fine. Gunna talk about the first one. This is definitely a bit of a mess of rambles. Enjoy.

It takes a while for them to actually have their first conversation, given everything.

Argyle is with Jon most of the time, who’s with his siblings in the cabin they’re fixing up, all hyperfocused on the impending return of Vecna and the town cracking open. Steve is running around the hospital between Max and Eddie’s room and threatening doctors if they even look at Eddie sideways or if he thinks Max isn't getting proper treatment.

So they just… don’t really cross paths. Argyle’s heard some of the stories about Steve from Jon, so he’s not too quick to go seek him out and Steve just could not care less about the other new guy along for the ride, he's too busy. Doesn’t even learn his name until about two weeks after they get to town and Robin dragged him by his ear to the cabin bc it was the only other place he'd relent to being at the moment.

Their first full conversation is actually about Argyle's daily foraging. He sees Argyle walking around, avoiding the traps and occassionally stopping to pick something and drop it in his bag. So, he's curious, and Steve's been friends with genius children and Robin long enough to be a good listener for things he doesn't quite get, but unlike the fifteen year old assholes Argyle seems cool with answering his questions.

With the ground kind of rotting out from the cracks in Hawkins, and the increasing likelihood the gov is gunna put up a quarantine any day now, they talk about how to best dry and keep things. Medicinal vs Food, how they can sub out ingredients in recipes for what they can find because it turned out they were both pretty damn good cooks.

From then on it just kind of turns into a Thing.

They both see how the other isn't really taken seriously by anyone in the group. Like, their respective best friends love them and don't look down on them, but there's always this kind of air that whenever they open their mouths they're gunna get some eyerolls. Argyle is the guy who can drive, Steve is the guy that gets hit a lot. They're not really necessary for planning.

So they help as much as they can in other places, together.

They make sure the group is fed, and sleeps, and doesn't do anything that raises their potential of being killed any more than necessary. (Joyce and Hop try, they really do, but they're busy harrassing government officials)

Jon hates how they get along, like, don’t get him wrong he knows Steve’s changed, is a good guy and all that, but come on Argyle is his best friend thanks and with how weird everything had been with Nancy he’d really like custody of Argyle back thanks.

Robin thinks it’s nice Steve has another friend their age, and knows how much easier having him around made getting used to the whole Monsters Are Real thing. (That being said, they require a certain amount of Robin-Steve one on one time or they WILL die. Or at the very least be insufferable to everyone around them)

Argyle got Steve into pineapple on pizza.

Steve braids Argyle’s hair whenever he needs to get it out of the way.

They talk to each other about their parental situations, about feeling like they’d never be what their parents wanted them to be. Argyle’s parents worked hard, wanted him to go to university and find a well-paying career; didn’t like that he was perfectly content with community college and kind of just wanted to open up his own restaurant one day. Steve's pretty sure his parents were disappointed the day he was born, and completely gave up by the time he only got back rejection letters. Argyle misses his, they were so worried when he’d gone missing for a few days, and their worry didn’t get any less when he finally called and told them where he was, but they’re not going to force him back. Steve’s parents still haven’t called, and he wonders if they remember that he’s still in Hawkins at all.

They don't hang out all the time. They've each got their respective best friends, and Argyle and Jon are usually the only two who manage to wrangle Mike, Will, and El. Who are constantly trying to sneak away to enact some half-baked plan they're sure will end it this time. Steve's got Dustin and Erica by the scruffs of their necks half the time, and his hands still full at the hospital the other.

They find out the two of them make a really good monster hunting pair though. Rob, Steve and Argyle end up on the same Team during scraps with the Upside Down Monsters. They've both got the most insane observation skills. Each quick on their feet and are really good with improvised weaponry. (Robin's able to fill in the pieces based on things they point out, is kind of the only one who really takes what they say seriously enough to utilise it.)

Argyle becomes the second person to come out to him on a bathroom floor while bloody. Argyle doesn't even really think anything of it, didn't even realise Steve hadn't known about his gigantic crush on Jonathan, just made an offhand joke about hoping his best friend thought the new gash on the side of his arm was as cool as the matching one he had with Nancy. They apent about an hour just talking about how he'd liked Jon from the moment he met him. Thought the awkward loner was cute and sweet and even after he found out he had a girlfriend back home he'd still wanted to be around him. Was content to be his best friend as long as he was happy, and did his best to move on with other people he could see himself caring for.

About a month after Eddie's back, Steve makes the third coming out to happen while bleeding on a bathroom floor. He'd kind of already known that he liked guys, but hadn't ever really thought too hard about it before. But he was having a bit of a freak out and Argyle and Rob both just squeezed into the dry bathtub with him. Let him have a full panic about liking a guy he'd kind of hated before spring break, a most likely straight guy who'd bodied a demodog that'd tried to sneak up on him and- hey did he mention just how hot that had been after they'd both calmed down from a mutual panic attack?

After that Rob, Argyle, and Steve will occassionally just get together to scream about their crushes. Robin still not sure what's happening with Vickie but they held hands guys, girls hold their friend's hands alll the time though right???

They smoke about it, a lot.py

[tboybuck]

wip wednesday

i was not tagged by anybody but because i have finally been given permission to talk about my steddiebang project, i'm goddamn gonna.

RULES

Post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. This is an opportunity to flex your steddiebang - DO THAT.

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in or just post.

*Optional: Respond the the ask with the lines you wrote. (This is me holding myself accountable honestly)

WIPS - all my file names already have titles

batter up! (steddiebang!!!)

greatest hits (final update forthcoming... at some point...)

for the bit (fake dating au, currently going thru a full rebrand)

Early in the week, Wrigley Field welcomes the press for interviews about their upcoming games, the spring season now well underway, and a reporter from ESPN actually has the nerve to ask Steve about it.

“Yeah, of course I’ve listened to it,” Steve tells her, forcing a smile. “Eddie and I graduated high school together. He’s really made a name for himself, huh?”

“Well, you do know what the rumor is, don’t you? It’s been all over Reddit all week.”

Of course Steve knows what the going rumor is. It’s him, he is the rumor. He puts on his best doofus expression. “No, I hadn’t heard. I don’t spend much time online these days.”

He waits for her to say it, for the ESPN reporter he once went down on in the locker room after everybody else went home for the night to tell him that he is the subject of even more gay rumors, less than a year after he’d been caught fucking a teammate in the very same locker room where he fucked her.

What’s her name again…? Shelby? Sara? Samantha? Steve can’t fucking remember. She doesn’t say it, though; she puts a finger to her earpiece and smiles once again at the camera.

“Looks like that’s all we have time for,” she says instead. “This is Simone Tindell, signing off for ESPN.”

Simone. That’s right.

The camera shuts off, and Simone smacks Steve on the arm. “You do know, don’t you?”

“Off the record?” Simone nods. “Of course I know. That asshole hasn’t been subtle a day in his life. The album art? Cheap Cubs uniform? Number seven on his wristband? He practically gift-wrapped the rumors for me.”

“Is it about you, Steve?”

“You think Robin would let me say one way or another?” Steve asks, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. “And you can say as much as you want that you won’t tell anyone if I confirm it, but you’re a reporter above all else, Simone. If you get the scoop, you gotta run it.”

“Can you tell me what your favorite song is, at least?”

“No,” Steve says, short and simple. “I’m not talking about it. If I talk about it too much, the rumors will just get worse, and I really, honestly wanted to keep a low profile this season.”

“Are you mad at Eddie for releasing the album when he did?”

“No comment, Simone, okay? Let it drop already.”

“Are you done flirting?” calls one of his teammates.

“Fuck you, Carver.”

“Fuck me yourself, Harrington,” Jason Carver says with a wink.

“Better stay away from that one this season,” Simone teases. 

“Learned my lesson last year,” Steve says, nodding in agreement.

It got really bad last year. Carver had been deeper in the closet than Steve at the time, with the gold crucifix practically glued to his neck and the sign of the cross in the batter’s box every time he stepped up to the plate. 

The media storm overshadowed the team’s eight-win streak and put Steve in a vat of hot water.

Not both of them, just Steve. Because he already had a reputation before Carver even joined the team. And now on top of being a bitch and a slut, here he was corrupting a good Catholic boy from the Bible Belt, tempting him into sin. The accusations had sent Steve reeling, because they were the very same types of accusations Eddie had gotten after… well, after everything. 

With Carver last year it was never serious, so after getting caught it was easy for them to put a stop to it, but it has been months and they are both still being asked about their relationship. And Jason fucking Carver is still doing the absolute fucking most when there are cameras around that might see him within arm’s reach of Steve. Carver’s stats are garbage, so like… anything to have his name in print, right? Even if the only leg he’s got left to stand on is whatever relationship they may have had last year.

There never was a relationship, is the thing. They fucked around a couple of times here and there, and Steve was finished with him the one singular time he brought Carver back to his condo and watched him push his cat off the bed. Petty? Maybe, but he was never worth the headache in the first place.

In the months since the thing between them that had never even been a thing to begin with, Steve has continued to date around. He went out with a tattoo artist for a few weeks before dropping him when he realized he hated the way the guy laughed. And then there was the girl he’d gone out with a few times that had a cockatiel. He dumped her because she had a cockatiel. 

That’s another thing; Steve Harrington, serial dater, can’t commit.

It was never like that with Eddie. Sure, things between them ended badly, and way sooner than either of them would have liked, but that was justified. When you’re eighteen, threats about college and a beating from your dad outweighs every good thing in your life. Especially when every good thing runs away from the fight and leaves you to deal with it on your own, even after all the promises you made to each other.

Steve doesn’t know if he’s ready to reconcile with Eddie; he doesn’t know if he should. They were good in high school, an unlikely but compatible match in almost every way. They argued sometimes, about what they were to one another, because Steve wasn’t ready to be out, but the time they spent alone together remains some of the best memories of Steve’s high school career. Not even state championships could compare.

tagging literally all my followers and mutuals who are taking part in the bang. please join in, today's the wednesday to do it! even if you're not doing the bang and working on something else, please join in!

[justobsessedwithvic]

{Gasping}{Gasping}

-It's hideous!

-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.

-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named

champion! Have it him!

-Get him!

-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.

-Go ahead! Get him!

-Can't we just settle this over a pint?

-Kill the beast!

-No? All right then. Come on!

I don't give a damn about my reputation

You're living in the past

It's a new generation

-Damn!

{Whinnying}

A girl can do what she wants to do

And that's what I'm gonna do

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me

Me, me, me

-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Never said I wanted to improve my station

-Ah!

{Laughs}

And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun

-Yeah!

And I don't have to please no one

-The chair! Give him the chair!

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me

Me, me, me

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me

{Bell dings}

{Cheering}

{Laughs}

-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till

Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!

{Shrek laughs}

{Crowd gasping, murmuring}

-Shall I give the order, sir?

-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!

-What?

-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great

and noble quest.

-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.

-Your swamp?

-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!

{Crowd murmuring}

-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for

me, and I'll give you your swamp back.

-Exactly the way it was?

-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.

-And the squatters?

-As good as gone.

-What kind of quest?

-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a

princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only

don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.

-Is that about right?

-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on

him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make

your bread, the whole orge trip.

-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and

put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and

drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?

-Uh, no, not really, no.

-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.

-Example?

-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.

-{Sniffs} They stink?

-Yes - - No!

-They make you cry?

-No!

-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little

white hairs.

-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have

layers. You get it? We both have layers.

{Sighs}

-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes

onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.

-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a

person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like

no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.

-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like

onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.

-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or

something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start

slobbering.

I'm on my way from misery to happiness today

Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

I'm on my way from misery to happiness today

Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

And everything that you receive up yonder

Is what you give to me the day I wander

I'm on my way

I'm on my way

I'm on my way

-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?

-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was

open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's

brimstone We must be getting close.

-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I

know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone

neither.

{Rumbling}

-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.

{Laughing}

-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?

-Oh, aye.

-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have

layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.

-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.

-You know what I mean.

-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.

-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over

a boiling like of lava!

-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional

support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step

at a time.

-Really?

-Really, really.

-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.

-Just keep moving. And don't look down.

-Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on

moving. Don't look down.

{Gasps}

-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,

please!

-But you're already halfway.

-But I know that half is safe!

-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.

-Shrek, no! Wait!

-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?

-Don't do that!

-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?

-Oh, this?

-Yes, that!

-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.

{Screams}

-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

-You said do it! I'm doin' it.

-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!

-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

-Cool.

-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?

-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.

{Chuckles}

-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

{Water dripping, wind howling}

-You afraid?

-No.

-But - -

- Shh.

-Oh, good. Me neither.

{Gasps}

-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible

response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I

might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and

breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little

scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.

{Gasps}

-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if

you can find any stairs.

-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.

-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest

tower.

-What makes you think she'll be there?

-I read it in a book once.

-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those

stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way

they're goin'.

{Creacing}

-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with

me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a

step right here. I'd step all over it.

-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -

-Dragon!

{Screams}

{Gasps}

{Roars}

-Donkey, look out!

{Screams}

{Whimpering}

-Got ya!

{Roars}

{Gasps}

{Shouts}

-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

{Screaming}

{Gasps}

-Oh! Aah! Aah!

{Gasping}

{Crowls}

-No. Oh, no, No!

{Screams}

-Oh, what large teeth you have.

{Crowls}

-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time

from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile

you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know

what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of

course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.

What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.

Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -

(Coughs)

-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna

blow smoke rings. Shrek!

{Gasps}

{Whimpering}

-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

{Groans, Sighs}

{Vocalizing}

-Oh! Oh!

-Wake up!

-What?

-Are you Princess Fiona?

-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.

-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!

-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be

a wonderful, romantic moment?

-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.

-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out

yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.

-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?

-Mm-hmm.

{Screams, grunts}

-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for

me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!

-I don't think so.

-Can I at least know the name of my champion?

-Um, Shrek.

-Sir Shrek.

{Cleans throat}

-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.

-Thanks!

{Roaring}

-You didn't slay the dragon?

-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!

{Screams}

-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,

banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.

-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.

-That's not the point. Oh!

-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.

-Well, I have to save my ass.

-What kind of knight are you?

-One of a kind.

-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to

know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.

{Laughs}

-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not

emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really

is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted

physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back

up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to

know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,

but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - -

Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna

tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with

that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!

{Growls}

{Roaring}

{Gasps}

-Hi, Princess!

-It talks!

-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

{Screams}

{Screaming}

-Oh!

{Thuds}

{Groans}

{Roars}

{Roaring}

-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.

{Fchoing}

-Run!

{Gasping}

{Screaming}

{Roaring}

{Screams}

{Roars}

{Panting, sighs}

{Whimpers}

{Roars}

-You did it!

-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.

You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and

thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.

{Clears throat}

-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?

-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a

steed.

-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.

-Uh, no.

-Why not?

-I have helmet hair.

-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.

-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.

-But how will you kiss me?

-What? That wasn't in the job description.

-Maybe it's a perk.

-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in

a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then

they share true love's first kiss.

-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you

true love?

-Well, yes.

{Laughing}

-You think Shrek is your true love!

-What is so funny?

-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?

-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your

helmet.

-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.

-Just take off the helmet.

-I'm not going to.

-Take ot off.

-No!

-Now!

-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.

-You- - You're a- - an orge.

-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.

-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed

to be an orge.

{Sighs}

-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the

one who wants to marry you.

-Then why didn't he come rescue me?

-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.

-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -

his pet.

-So much for noble steed.

-You're not making my job any easier.

-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad

that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right

here.

-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.

-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!

-Ya comin', Donkey?

-I'm right behind ya.

-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not

dignified! Put me down!

-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,

right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down

real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a

crisp and eaten?

-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what

happens when you find your - - Hey!

{Sighs}

-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.

-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!

-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?

-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in

short supply.

{Laughs}

-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.

-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never

measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.

-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the

"measuring" when you see him tomorrow.

-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?

-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.

-But there's robbers in the woods.

-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.

-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this

forest.

-I need to find somewhere to camp now!

{Birds wings fluttering}

{Grunting}

-Hey! Over here.

-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a

princess.

-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.

-Homey touches? Like what?

{Crashing}

-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.

-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.

-I said good night!

-Shrek, What are you doing?

{Laughs}

-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.

{Fire cracking}

-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over

three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.

-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?

-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,

there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.

-I know you're making this up.

-No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away

from his stench.

-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.

-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?

Forget it.

{Sighs}

-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?

-Our swamp?

-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.

-We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my

swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my

land.

-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what

I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody

out.

-No, do ya think?

-Are you hidin' something?

-Never mind, Donkey.

-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?

-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.

-Why don't you want to talk about it?

-Why do you want to talk about it?

-Why are you blocking?

-I'm not blocking.

-Oh, yes, you are.

-Donkey, I'm warning you.

-Who you trying to keep out?

-Everyone! Okay?

-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.

-Oh! For the love of Pete!

-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?

-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that

seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.

"Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they

even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,

stupid, ugly orge.

-Yeah, I know.

-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?

-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.

-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one

there?

-That's the moon.

-Oh, okay.

{Orchestra}

{Dulcimer}

-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the

princess.

-Hmph.

-Ah. Perfect.

{Inhales}

{Snoring}

{Vocalizing}

{Whistling}

{Sizzling}

{Sniffs, yawns}

-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.

--Come on, baby. I said I like it.

-Donkey, wake up.

-Huh? What?

-Wake up.

-What?

-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?

-Good morning, Princess!

-What's all this about?

-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to

make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.

-Uh, thanks.

{Sniffs}

-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.

{Belches}

-Shrek!

-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}

-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.

{Belches}

-Thanks.

-She's as nasty as you are.

-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.

-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.

{Vocalizing}

-La liberte! Hey!

-Princess!

{Laughs}

-What are you doing?

-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from

this green - -

{Kissing sounds}

-beast.

-Hey!

-That's my princess! Go find you own!

-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?

me fr 😔

[infizero]

one day i will make a beautiful full rewrite of sonic forces like ive always dreamed of doing since i was a 14 year old girl

(ok so um. i started writing stuff in the tags and it accidentally got so long i went far beyond the tag limit. whoops. so this is just an actual post now. read more for my insane sonic forces rewrite ramblings)

i want to so fucking bad. every time i think about the wasted potential that is forces it makes me so depressed ToT i cant help but love forces despite it being garbage. the soundtrack is banging, the character customization is fun, i LOVE infinite, it attempted a darker story like the good ol days..... its so fucking bad but there were so many cool ideas and it drives me insane

also its one of the few sonic games i've actually played firsthand. purely because it was free on like the playstation game pass thing or whatever its called. and i did genuinely have fun with it even if it was pretty easy. also for the longest time of me being a sonic fan, forces was the latest mainline game. that era is when i got into sonic so idk. i cant help but look fondly on it even though its writing choices drive me fucking batty

while thinking about all this i came up with an interesting idea. so. there's something so fucking cool to me about infinite and the avatar's dynamic like. the way that infinite, despite his powers... him being a mobian and that scene of him flying right beside you and stuff..... idk its like he feels more on your level then some like ancient god villain or whatever.

that flying side-by-side scene esp inspired this but ANYWAY. what if, to make him AND the avatar character more interesting.... they were like. childhood friends or something. or just knew each other in the past in general. that would add SO much depth to their interactions within the game of like. infinite calling them weak. flying side by side. infinite's whole classic "character trying to reinvent themself" thing.

like infinite is using the power of the phantom ruby, trying to become strong because shadow called him weak and everything <- which btw this motivation has gotta change/be expanded upon cause this shit is still so silly. shadow called him gay and that's infinite's whole motive. cmon now we can do better than that

ANYWAYS. but that desperation from infinite to become an entirely new person - changing his name, wearing the mask, etc etc. that could become even more interesting if you add someone into the mix who knew infinite BEFORE his transformation.

and i know i know the avatar is supposed to be able to be projected on and stuff whatever whatever. but like idk man. plenty of protagonists have pasts that are part of the story even tho they're customizable. and besides it wouldnt be like a full backstory for the avatar. just the fact that they knew infinite once upon a time. and maybe something happened that split them apart or something. idk. but whatever happened between then and the events of the game wouldn't be elaborated upon, so you'd still be able to come up with your own story for your character if you want to.

and then the avatar's presence in the story could present a conflict for infinite. maybe despite him trying to act like he doesnt care, he like. hesitates. or lets the avatar go at some point. or something. and that gets him in trouble with eggman <- on that note. MORE CONFLICT BETWEEN EGGMAN AND INFINITE. im a little fuzzy on that aspect of the game but from what i can remember that never really goes anywhere. i want infinite being fickle about eggman's orders to MEAN SOMETHING!!!!!

also. i guess infinite could still ambiguously die at the end. but he'd definitely survive and show up in a later game, a la shadow. i need him to. my special boy.

anyways but going back to the avatar and infinite. i rlly think this could make both of them far more interesting than they are now. infinite rlly doesnt have like. an arc over the course of the story? hes just kinda. there. we get his backstory but in the present he kinda just. fights you a few times and then he dies. the end. this would actually give him something to do during the story, even if it was just like. brooding over why he let the avatar go or something.

and like..... i feel like forces SHOULD focus a lot on infinite? at least more so than the actual game did. like it doesnt have to be a shadow sa2 situation where like the whole game is centered around his story but i honestly... wouldnt be opposed to that either. like the war stuff is not that interesting im gonna be real.

also btw OBVIOUSLY the whole "sonic being imprisoned and tortured for 6 months with zero consequences" thing would be changed. that shit is so stupid and pointless. idk for sure if i'd just get rid of it outright or alter it, but probably the latter. cause like it IS actually an interesting scenario: how would these characters react to sonic being presumably dead? (long-term. 06 does not count LOL)

like that genuinely is a fascinating scenario to explore but i think one of the main things is that it would have to take place soon after it happened. none of this 6 months later amy wistfully going "sometimes i still dream sonic is with us....." shit, that is so dumb. WHAT is the point!!!

i'd want the story to start like fairly soon after sonic gets captured. and it wouldnt just be "sonic characters act as war generals" simulator. if we're doing this we are going ALL in. full focus on the characters' emotions and mental states which fluctuate over time. at the beginning they're hopeful but as more time passes with no sign of sonic and them losing more and more land to eggman, things start to crack. that could genuinely be so interesting to watch as long as it was treated with the actual seriousness it deserves instead of the cop-out edginess with no repercussions that the actual game has.

speaking of this part. TAILSSSSSSSS tails in forces was the wasted opportunity of the century. im gonna be real after having so much time to think about it, i really dont think that tails cowering after sonic was defeated was THAT egregious. i definitely think it could've been handled better, considering he had both beat chaos before and thought sonic had died before, BUT. tails is, at the end of the day, still a little kid. no matter how much hes grown and everything, thinking his big brother is fucking dead is probably still gonna fuck him up big time!!!

i also think that the idea of tails out on his own is SO fucking interesting and i am so mad every day that they barely did anything with that. maybe tails DID stay with everyone else at first. maybe after enough time everyone else presumed sonic to be dead and tails got upset because he knows sonic can't be dead, he always comes back, he did last time this happened right? and he left one day without telling anyone, attempting to try and find sonic himself.

and then he comes across omega all trashed up, and him fixing him, oh, idk, ACTUALLY MATTERS? (crazy i know) omega gets fully restored (plus some upgrades, of course) and it becomes the two of them against the world. throwing in a little craziness here but what if omega sticks with tails bcuz tails (who is definitely um. a lil more fucked up from everything) promises that hes directly interfering with eggman here, and that he'll actually allow omega to full on KILL eggman if/when they get the opportunity to. (tails is not fucking around) i just really need these two working together to be a thing.

rouge and shadow could also be MIA. i dont know if i'd want them as part of the larger resistance, they'd probably just be trying to help stuff on their own, but maybe at some point they'd realize that shit is really fucked this time and the only way they'll be able to stop eggman's reign of terror is by joining forces (lol) with the larger group. power of friendship and teamwork and all that, as is forces' main theme.

anyways. this is kind of all ive got swirling in my brain right now. i dont know how i'd tackle sonic's imprisonment itself. i definitely dont want to be in a position like the canon story where sonic should 100% be traumatized by what happened. bcuz i feel like thats probably a bit much lol... so maybe keep him imprisoned that whole time but get rid of the torture. idk, if we want to really get crazy with it we could throw in a whole thing where its like hey eggman why arent you just killing him? isnt that what you've wanted to do this whole time? funny how you're... keeping him alive like that. isnt easy bringing yourself to kill this kid you've basically watched grow up huh? even if he is your biggest enemy. idk that could result in way too much going on. but it could give a reason for sonic being kept alive + a reason why his imprisonment wasnt too crazy bad. just spitballing here.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS. for real thats it I NEED TO GO TO BED. good god. maybe i'll rb this post at some point with more ideas if i have them. hell maybe i'll even write this whole thing someday..... regardless. GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!

[eggman-is-fat-mkay]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

firstly i think i am very sexy. i've been going to the gym a lot lately and it's paying off! my personal trainer says i need to eat more, and he's right, but i'm still making very respectable gains. i've been holding a plank (hands on floor, not elbows) for a little bit longer every night, just before i go to bed, for a few months now, and last night i set a new personal record of 25 minutes! i was cheating a little bit, shifting side to side and lifting one hand up to give my abs a break, and my form was more than a little sloppy, but still! 25 minutes straight!!!! (the secret is music, and wear loose clothing -- you overheat *super* fast) i've definitely got the six pack to show for it too. and as a certified gay dude and muscle enjoyer i gotta say it is a huge confidence boost to be low-key attracted to the guy i see in the mirror

second i'd say i am a pretty smart guy. most programmers are. i *love* being able to think of something, go "hey, i kinda wish that existed", and then just build it. and then... holy crap, that exists now. and i made it happen. and that's just such a cool feeling that i think everybody should get to experience.

if i don't tell anybody about my current project i'm gonna burst so here we go. i've been browsing a certain monosodium glutatmate related site lately that lets you upload images, put tags on them, and then search for them by their tags, and i've been somewhat disappointed with it. like most boorus, its search feature is quite limited -- you can specify the results have all of these tags, none of these tags, and one or more of these tags, but that's it. if you want to search for one of these two but not both, or one or more of these AND one or more of those, you're outta luck. i thought that was kinda disappointing. fortunately, i'm a programmer, and, as it turns out, this particular imageboard provides a full database dump containing the URL, rating, description, full list of tags, upvote/downvote/favorite count, image URL, etc., of every post on the site, all in one gigantic 3GB .csv file. practically begging me to make a better search function with it. it didn't take me long to whip up a script in rust that could parse that .csv file and, given a search string like "fluffy 1{ cat dog } 2-{ a b c }" (meaning "must be tagged fluffy, either cat OR dog but not both, and two or more of a, b, and c"), spit out a list of URLs of posts that matched. running the script on my laptop, it took about 12 seconds to search through the whole database, 30 if running on my phone. i also thought that was kinda disappointing and i could do better. so i started looking into ways to speed it up. i loaded the entire post database into RAM for faster access (my phone's 6GB of RAM was not thrilled about this, but it pulled through), i used the excellent rust library Rayon to search in parallel across all available CPU cores, i downloaded a second database dump from the site matching each tag name with its internal tag number (storing those instead of the names greatly reduced my RAM usage, not to mention integers are several times faster to search through than text strings), and i wrote a modified version of the search algorithm that took advantage of SIMD instructions to compare four integers at once on a single CPU core. all together, those improvements got my time for a single search down from 30 seconds to 1 second on my phone, and from 12 seconds to 50 milliseconds (that's a 20th of a second!) on my laptop. that's over a 200x improvement! isn't programming cool!!!! also the drag-race linear search algorithm i came up with for searching through the tags faster than a binary search was no doubt come up with long ago by someone much smarter than me, but i don't care i'm still proud of myself for having come up with it. i'm currently working on hooking that search algorithm up to a discord bot and in the process learning the intricacies of using postgresql to keep track of who's looking at what and what they want to see next. i'm learning a ton and it's super fun!

i'm no super-genius, don't get me wrong -- especially that SIMD part was mostly me throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck -- but i definitely felt pretty cool after seeing the 10% performance improvement it got me :P

thirdly i can semi reliably get people to laugh. since i'm autistic this does not come naturally to me, but through many years of practice and a lotta misses i've figured out a system, there's three parts.

When someone asks a rhetorical question, answer it incorrectly. example

when someone else makes a joke, your job is to "yes, and". ex.: "eggman always likes sitting in the sun. like he's cold blooded. i bet he's a lizard." "it's true. zuckerberg's actually my cousin"

commit to the bit. pretend what you just said is true. what would that imply? zuckerberg's my cousin; i probably hang out with him a lot. is he normal for a lizard, and the rest of us are that good at pretending to be human, or is he weird even by our standards? what's lizardfolk physiology like? zuckerberg was acting really strangely in the 2018 facebook senate hearings -- he nearly blew our cover. hey, that's a joke right there. just keep these ideas going in your head and string them together with whatever you can think of. ex.: "zuckerberg's actually my cousin. he's a lot less awkward once the meat suit comes off. i don't know why he gets so nervous in front of humans. guess he's just camera shy. during the facebook senate hearings he was such a mess we had to spoon feed him lines through a transmitter in his fourth ear. i don't know how people didn't notice. swear that guy is gonna out us one day. don't know why they haven't given his meat suit to someone else yet. anyway i talked with him about the whole social media panopticon thing but he was kinda stubborn on that point." alternately: "is zuckerberg your cousin?" "no actually common misconception he's just about the only celebrity who isn't. the overlords keep trying to kill that rumor cause he's making us look bad. there was talk of installing a lizard as the head of facebook so we'd have control over social media but the higher-ups wouldn't sign off on it"

(i lied there's 4 parts) learn how to volley. "if zuck's your cousin, why don't you have a facebook account?" "zuck knows enough about me just being my cousin; i don't need him being able to look up all my browsing history and bring it up at family reunions." from here, if reaction is positive, you can run with the bit: "and you know he'd do it in the most well-meaning way too; he'd see me and immediately ask if i found those dildos i was searching for two weeks ago, and if not offer to help. bro has zero social awareness"

for skills i practiced in reddit comment sections, they translated to real life surprisingly well. of course, like anything, this takes practice. coming up with stuff like that on the fly did not come naturally to me at first, and unfortunately i can't really say for certain when or why that changed. i guess my advice would be hang around with people you think are good at making jokes, watch them, and try to figure out why what works, works, and when you think you've got something, try your hand with some friends. or you could take the autistic route of just saying something that wasn't intended to be funny, having people laugh, and laughing along with them while silently puzzling over why that was funny and how you can make a funny on purpose next time. something that's important to remember though is that if you can't think of anything, that's okay. jokes often make conversations more fun, but a lack of jokes does not often make them worse.

smart, handsome, and funny is a pretty good set, i gotta say. i'm not perfect -- no one is -- and i'm definitely not sure how many other people would agree with any of those three assessments of myself (my parents tell me i'm smart, but don't everyone's?), but i'm pretty happy with where i'm at life wise and the rate i'm progressing. you asked for five things i liked about myself; i'm a bit busy at the moment so i'll have to give you a rain check for the other two. but i will definitely be forwarding this ask to everyone i can think of who hasn't blocked me!