#I gotta think of a better way to tag them than their full names

[grammarpedant]

Crashes in here, hi this is my main blog and I just saw the tags you left on my art of Miki and the CombatBot and I'm going just a little insane over them. I've been thinking of a fic from Miki's POV for Rogue Protocol for a while and while I don't think I have the skill to pull that off I am SO EXCITED to see that someone else has had the same thought!!! Urg... I just love Miki so so much and seeing how the events unfold from its POV would be so interesting.

I think I gotta go draw Miki some more now hehe. Good luck with writing!!

(the Miki art in question)

Hehe, right? Miki is SUCH a character full of so many hidden depths and surprises, greatest of all is that it's also exactly what it looks like on the surface, in full sincerity: a sweet, kind person of a bot that cared very deeply about its friends and wanted to be able to count Murderbot among them. It also deliberately obfuscates the truth from Murderbot and from Don Abene alike on multiple occasions, it seems to sense what MB means and feels through the feed almost better than MB itself, it's a science bot with visual magnification abilities beyond MB's, when it's stressed and pressed for time it stops trying to talk like a human and goes back to its native code language; Miki has in-jokes with its human friends, but I never had a friend like me. And that's just random stuff I pulled from skimming the book looking for something else! Miki is just such a fascinating character!!

And in this fandom we just LOVE our outsider POVs, haha. I'm sure others have done or tried to do Miki POV of the book before, but I'm gonna use this moment as an opportunity to gush about the thing I want to write- I left the tags that I did because what came to me first was the bit leading up to the same scene you've depicted, the tragic beauty of Miki choosing the trajectory that it did. I have a heartwrenching final scene of Miki's POV in those moments that I absolutely cannot show anyone, not least because the scene simply will not hit as hard as it could unless I actually lay the groundwork that would give it a real punch.

Miki would be about (is about) self-determination, right, obviously. But the Miki POV I want to write would also be about a character caught between connection and alienation, a bot among humans and all that entails. —People love and protect Miki, yes, but do they understand it? Don Abene loved it, and Miki loved her too, and what about all the times they struggled to understand each other? The work that it takes to overcome miscommunication? How does Miki feel, knowing that there are some experiences it just cannot share with its human friends, nor they with it? Do they understand each other regardless? Does anybody ever really understand another person? —Miki has a way of talking that's a little clipped and which may seem "childish" to a reader at first glance; given that in times of stress it defaults back to a nonverbal-to-humans mode of bot communication, might we draw parallels between it and the semiverbal disabled experience? —For perhaps the first time in its life Miki met someone who could understand it reflexively, instinctively, empathize with its machinic experiences almost effortlessly. How does it understand this person's refusal to accept the vulnerability of connection? Does Miki understand Murderbot, and if so how much? In what ways?

Those are the themes I'd want to pull at, and to do so I'd use the motifs of Miki's scientific research function. Its literal ability to perceive the world differently from both humans and from MB, its framing of the world through numbers and measurement and factoids and analysis that is nevertheless beautiful to it, even when it struggles to put that beauty to human words. Names. Identity. Choice and free will. Emotion and connection. What Miki was thinking when it looked at MB's camera at the nebula storm and said, Pretty! The jokes and media and little moments it shares with Don Abene. The love and happiness that made it so secure in itself. If I could just get through the groundwork of it all... it would be beautiful. At least as beautiful as the art you drew.

Anyway, I hope you keep drawing Miki, friend! The art you did has already inspired me a bit more 🥰

[thegeekproblem]

Reverse Robins Plot Bunny

okay, so i've been thinking about how a reverse robins plot would work while mostly leaving intact their origin stories and core personalities and also bruce's own plots and i have a lot of thoughts that i need to share asap cause i'm pretty sure this will never see the light of day (feels like a pretty big fic) but if someone wants to pick it up please go ahead just pretty please tag me or dm me or something so i can go and read asap

SO! we have 5 robins that in reverse order would be: damian, stephanie, tim, jason and dick (you can add or take batfam members as you please).

Damian Al Ghul-Wayne

so damian starts with his same origin: bio son of bruce and talia, after dropping out of med school bruce goes on his world tour and ends up in the league of shadows, he meets talia and falls in love and they have a relationship, ra's wants bruce to be his heir so he approves and talia finds out that she's pregnant with damian, but hey, ra's wants him for his own purposes and talia doesn't want that for damian (good mom talia for the win) so she tells bruce and ra's she lost the baby. bruce full of heartbreak doesn't align with ra's beliefs so he leaves to return to gotham. years later talia brings damian to bruce and damian creates robin. as his only son at the beginning, damian probably feels even more entitled to bruce's legacy and he's a bit of an asshole but gets better. even then, bruce's ideology and damian's upbringing clash a lot (he's still the son of talia and he grew up in a cult) up until the point damian leaves behind the mantle of robin and creates a new name for himself (black bat suits him i think) and his own group like jl (which are the titans).

Stephanie Brown

now, stephanie would be introduced slightly before than tim. we get the whole spoiler first and that's how bruce meets her, he gives her the mantle of robin for a while after damian becomes black bat which pisses him off (there's probs less friction that what dick/jason's dynamic had in the og canon over robin but oh boi their relationship ain't good for a while). it's not a long run as robin because stephanie gets in trouble with black mask, which ends bad but not dead bad, and bruce, scared out of his mind, uses that as an excuse to push her away and fires her.

bruce would then have tim as a robin and stephanie would create batgirl.

batgirl gives stephanie more freedom than working with batman ever would, she's really headstrong and being able to improvise is her main forte so i think she would create a new mantle as a way to recover after what happened with black mask. later she'll be the one to give it to barbara and would return to spoiler also as a way to join tim (now red robin) in his search for bruce after he "dies".

Tim Drake

tim's obsessed with batman and robin right? he goes out and takes pictures of them every night and he probably figured out their identities through matching every single one of bruce's injuries with batman's absences or through figuring out stephanie's identity. when damian becomes black bat and soon after stephanie!robin is fired he probably does some calculations and realizes that batman solves more crimes with a robin than without one and he tries to convince stephanie to return but stephanie is recovering from black mask (and creating batgirl in the background) and also mad at bruce for firing her so she rejects it and tim's like well, guess it's gotta be me and goes to bruce. bruce doesn't want to because of what happened with black mask but tim's really insistent and bruce gives him the mantle of robin. stephanie doesn't like it much but accepts it, tim's intelligent and rich and that makes stephanie feel inferior, but later on tim and stephanie's relationship becomes something that pushes both of them to be better. tim's parents die and bruce adopts him which makes his relationship with damian turn bad, and damian grows to despise tim, in his head stephanie wasn't adopted (she still has her mum) so she never registered as a threat for the cowl but now tim's adopted and bruce considers him a son but then bruce fucking dies! or at least it's what they all think but tim's convinced he isn't (he isn't) so he leaves gotham and the mantle of robin behind and becomes red robin (i do actually like the red robin title a lot) to search for a way to get bruce back and is joined by spoiler in his search.

at this point damian takes up the cowl and becomes batman.

Jason Todd.

now, damian is batman, he doesn't like the idea of having a robin, tim and stephanie are world trotting, and that leaves only him and alfred in that mansion. is lonely and he regrets a lot of his past attitudes with tim and all of the fights with bruce, so he's a really cryptid version of batman, all alone and sticking to the shadows because he's a ninja. one day he's patrolling crime alley when surprise! a wild jason tries to steal the tires of the batmobile and well, damian hasn't seen that kind of spunk in a while and he laughs. damian likes jason a lot and offers him a place in the manor, offers to train him, makes him robin, his robin, not bruce's but one of his own choosing. so damian really likes jason and they work together well and jason loves damian, he's his family, his brother.

and then bruce returns, stephanie and tim being the ones that brought him back.

now bruce and jason take a while to adjust and it's more common to now see black bat and robin together but still, bruce is a good father right? tim's not that good with jason but tries, and stephanie loves jason because they both have similar backgrounds. by this point bruce has more experience as a father figure and jason gets adopted and truly comes to see bruce as his dad and starts calling him that but still the whole thing with the joker happens and jason fucking dies. this hits bruce HARD. way harder than in canon because by that point his family is so big and has manage to grow, there's damian and tim, and stephanie even if she's not adopted and he has good relationships with everyone but then jason dies and bruce loses damian too because in his grief damian blames bruce, blames himself, kills the joker and goes back to the league of shadows and talia. tim and stephanie are dealing with their own grief, alfred too, and this leaves bruce completely alone.

a grieving bruce finds dick and, seeing a reflection of his suffering, makes him robin

while dick was becoming robin we know what happens, jason digs himself out of his grave, spends a year in a coma, another catatonic in gotham's streets. nobody finds him, bruce probably saw him once or twice and thought it was a hallucination, stephanie and tim don't patrol crime alley, and damian returns to gotham before talia finds him. when talia finds him and hides him from ra's. she first wants to bring him back to health before returning him to damian because jason meant so much to him, enough to disobey bruce's only rule, but ra's finds out about jason and that he came back to life, they try to figure out how and ra's is the one with the idea to push him into the lazarus pit. now jason is trapped with the league, talia tells him how damian avenged him, how he still mourns him, there's no true resentment with bruce about the robin mantle being passed, and damian was the one that made him robin, not bruce. so he's trapped with the league but talia wants to return him to damian so she plans and in the meanwhile she sends jason on his world training tour promising him that he will return to gotham one day. talia helps him escape and jason returns to gotham under the mantle of red hood.

Dick Grayson

bruce is devastated. he doesn't know how to be batman anymore and he's completely alone, left by his family that's dealing with their own grief. that's when he sees a boy that reminds him so much of himself. a young dick grayson that just lost his parents and is angry at the world. but he's also a really happy and hopeful child and bruce wants to help him, he needs to help him because he can't fail another child again. so, dick becomes robin. tim takes as his responsibility to train dick because he never trained with jason and he cannot fail another brother.

stephanie in the background trains barbara and makes her batgirl.

dick grows as robin, alfred, stephanie and tim telling him stories of jason, of how good of a robin was and dick becomes enamoured by the image of robin!jason. bruce is wrapped in his grief and dick is doing his best and sometimes it's not enough and it's been almost two years then damian comes back. he and bruce make peace with each other but in their relationship there's a jason shaped hole that'll never heal. dick and damian get to know each other and damian tells him even more stories of jason, stories that make him look more human, more like a kid that made a few mistakes, instead of the perfect picture the others paint.

and then, the red hood appears.

bruce and dick try to investigate but the red hood is good. not only did he take over the organized crime of gotham, he cleared crime alley of any other gang and made it his territory. damian starts to act weird all of the sudden after chasing red hood once and returning empty handed. damian and red hood meet, damian discovers he's jason, jason feels like he has no home to return because he's too different now, obviously damian doesn't tell anybody yet but bruce suspects. bruce and jason confront each other and good dad!bruce begs him to come home. after that, it's an adjustment, jason wants to stay legally dead and keep his apartment in crime alley but would still visit the manor and dick with his hero crush on him would look for him all the time

A/N: this is more of a gen fic idea, but i'm a shipper at heart so maybe i woud add some jaydick romance when they're trying to convince jason to return to the family. but yeah, after this i have nothing concrete, i guess it ends here when they finally get to be a big family again. bruce probs has a lot of ptsd after jason's dead and maybe decides to retire at 50 and officially give the mantle to damian. dick becomes nightwing after robin and later barbara becomes oracle and creates the birds of prey. but yeah, my only problem with all of these ideas is that it looks like a really fucking long fic. hell, i would probably make different fics for each robin and make it a series so i can correctly develop each and everyone of their personalities and stories and give them time to grow, each work would probs be from bruce's and the current robin pov's. but also, you can totally see that jason's my favourite and i haven't developed that well some of the other robins, so i would probs write his part first and never come back to the rest. i just needed to share my ideas and if someone wants to pick them up please feel free to do it. i'll probably start to share more plot bunnies of the fics that i'll probably never get around to write.

[whumpty-dumpty-doo]

Whumpmas in July 2024 - Day 8 - Describe your favorite type of whumper

This post is part of my participation in the 2024 @whumpmasinjuly event!

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There are so many great whumper types, but I've gotta go with creepy and intimate whumpers. There's something about them that makes me shudder and get whumperflies hardcore, especially when they seem one step ahead with their plans and are full of confidence that they have their whumpees under control. Some of these dudes can be the most evil and devious whumpers around.

Some creepy/intimate whumper things that I love:

Pet names for their whumpees. "Sweetie", "Dear", "Love", "Pet"... Anything that shows that the whumpee is their property or that they're affectionate toward them in some way

Touching and intimacy, whether the whumpee wants it or not. Gently stroking a whumpee's cheek, kissing, hugging, cuddling, running fingers through whumpee's hair, tilting their chin up up look at them, rubbing their hands over the whumpee's back... I love itttttt. Violence and hard hits can be fun, but when a whumper can make their whumpee fall to pieces with a gentle touch... OOOH~ <3

Caretaking. Maybe the whumpee is crying and the whumper is trying to comfort them, or maybe the whumper is simply giving whumpee food. It's the little moments of sweetness and care that help flavor these whumpers so well. Are they gentle and genuine, or are they mocking and belittling?

Affirmations of love. "You're beautiful like this", "I'm so happy that you're mine." "You're safe." "Shhh, shhh. It's okay." These are lines that would be wonderful coming from a caretaker or loved one, but whumper is the one saying them, putting a whole different twist and meaning to the words.

Threats. When things go south and the doting whumper threatens whumpee in some way. Is the threat personal? Do they say they'll harm someone important to whumpee? Do they know the little ways to get to whumpee? Are they so in tune with who whumpee is that the punishment they think up is something that will really shatter them on a deep level? What do they know, and how will they use that knowledge to harm?

Their pleasure, not whumpee's. They keep going when the whumpee begs for them to stop. They say things like "This is for your own good", and maybe in their own sick twisted way they actually believe it. They want what they want, and nothing will stop them. Maybe they even enjoy their harm more when whumpee is protesting.

Proof that they know their whumpees. It's the whumpee's birthday and whumper gets them exactly what they'd want, but it feels wrong coming from whumper. They're out at a restaurant and whumper stops whumpee from ordering something because they know that the dish contains an ingredient that whumpee is allergic to (alternatively, they DO let the whumpee order it just so they'll suffer later). Any time that a whumper knows a whumpee just as well as (if not better than) they know themselves, that's the good stuff.

Confidence. When the whumpers are so sure that they have things under their complete control that they feel comfortable enough to mess with the whumpee in the first place. It's the "No one will save you"s and the "You're all mine now"s that get me.

What creepy/intimate whumper tropes did I miss? Are there any on this list that you particularly enjoy? There sure are some vile villains and characters out there that are creepy whumpers, but I can't help but be fascinated by them. Gotta love those whumperflies!

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Tags: @whumpmasinjuly-archive

[raven-at-the-writing-desk]

I just HAVE TO ask for someone else's opinion on this lil theory of mine. Hear me out. I think that in book7 Leona gotta pull through just like we all know Idia will, as in he will play an important active role in the story. Because I feel like 1- Leona is the only one in the OB gang who's story arc still haven't concluded and 2- If there's someone in NRC who's ready to beat up Malmal it is Leona. 3- those new character name tags are sus, both Leona and Idia have the title of king and there's always seems to be some sort of dynamic between both of them. (Believe me it just makes sense to me and tbh I might be lowkey just hoping for more Leona lol)

Mmm, I don’t think that’s likely 😅 just for the reason that this would interrupt the pacing of book 7 and give one extra OB boy more screen time than the rest (which is unfair to everyone else).

The focus of book 7 is already heavily bloated by the importance of the others in Diasomnia, plus the Ignihyde brothers and the family members of each. Including Leona in there might also rob Idia and Ortho of their own time in the spotlight to cap off their development and growth from last book. Maybe it’s possible (since book 6 did juggle all of the prior OB boys), but again it would still be unfair to only give more screen presence to one of them instead of all of them. Back then, Leona and everyone else also expressed a desire to beat up Idia for what he’s done, so I don’t think the attitude is exclusive to Leona when their lives are all in danger.

I think the reason why Leona’s arc may feel “incomplete” is because book 2’s writing was generally not good?? But in reality, I don’t think anyone has had a full change in character as a result of those arcs yet. All of the OB boys are still very much going through it and learning new ways to cope with and adapt to their personality quirks and backgrounds. (We see this as late as book 6 for all the OB boys, not just Leona.)

In regards to the new character titles, I don’t know if those can be used as evidence for anything yet?? They’re just vague enough to summarize each character’s overall vibe. Basically all the dorm leaders have some kind of synonym for someone very powerful, but it doesn’t denote a strong relationship between them. For example, I could say that both Malleus and Riddle go by “Ruler” (Ruler of the Abyss and Rose-Red Ruler, respectively). Does that mean I think Riddle alone will snap out of his dream to team up with Idia and smack Malleus upside the head to make the story come full circle (ie book 1 dorm leader vs book 7 dorm leader)??? No, I’d just say the wording is a coincidence.

With the breakneck pace book 7 is already going at, I think it’s better that they just stay centered on the Diasomnia drama and cast instead of shifting to include one random other character in it. If there’s going to be a shift anyway, I’d imagine it would be shared among many characters and thus each person has a very short and limited segment to shine.

[badbatchposts]

Quiet Corners of the Galaxy, Chapter 4

While on a routine mission for Cid, the Bad Batch encounter a woman fleeing from the Empire. Crosshair suspects her seemingly free-spirited, nomadic existence is actually a cover for something else, but struggles to keep his attraction toward her in check as their personalities and ideals clash.

Relevant tags: Slow Burn, Enemies to Lovers, Eventual Smut (not for a few chapters still), Canon-Typical Violence

Chapters posted 1-2x weekly!

Read the full fic so far on AO3

Read previous chapters on Tumblr: Ch. 1 l Ch. 2 l Ch. 3

Chapter 4 summary: The Batch are so bad at being under the radar. They learn more about the mysterious woman; Crosshair doesn't trust her.

“Don’t go to sleep, burk’yc.” Crosshair could see the woman nodding off any time he left her with a few moments of silence. She blinked her eyes open again and refilled her mug with more hot water.

“You’re not exactly the most fascinating conversationalist,” she remarked. She eyed his rifle, which he was methodically cleaning and breaking down, his post-mission ritual. “You’re not a bad shot. I saw the trooper helmets when you were done with them. Guess that’s where you get the name. Bullseye, was it?”

“It’s Crosshair. And I’m better than not bad,” he scoffed testily.

“I suppose that’s why you waited until after I was shot to step in. Or maybe you’re just scared of the Empire.” Her voice was neutral, but she had played her hand too obviously; she was goading him, probing for information just like he was.

He reined himself in and went on the offensive. “I wonder,” he purred, “if your hair’s that color everywhere.”

Crosshair expected steel, fury, maybe a flush coming over her cheeks. Instead, she ran her fingers through her locks disinterestedly, picking out the leaves he had noticed before. Both ears, he observed as her hair was smoothed out of the way, were pierced from top to bottom with a series of small silver rings. “It didn’t used to be. Last few years haven’t been the gentlest for the galaxy, have they?” She nodded at the closely cropped gray hairs that coated his own head, growing back patchily around the burn scar at his temple. “What’s your excuse, grandpa?”

“Genetic enhancement,” he replied cryptically.

“Guess that explains the big guy.” She gestured to Wrecker, who was dead-lifting Gonky at the other end of the ship, before offering her beverage to Crosshair. “It’s supposed to be a communal practice,” she explained in response to his raised eyebrow. He made no motion to take it, eliciting a shrug from her. “That’s alright. I always drink it alone anyway.”

“What? No one likes sharing with you?”

“My life seems like it’s a lot less…communal…than yours.” She glanced vaguely around the ship, which was littered with evidence of their co-habitation. “I suppose mercenaries run in packs.”

“We’re not mercenaries,” Hunter interrupted, rejoining them. He had always taken issue with that term. “We’re clone troopers.”

Crosshair prickled a little. He would never understand why the others had been so difficult to track down during his time with the Empire. Hunter didn’t seem to get the finer points of staying off the radar, since he took the opportunity to expose who they were to the first pretty face they came across.

“Haven’t seen a lot of clone troopers that look like you all.” The woman offered Hunter the mug; sniffing curiously, he took a sip.

“It’s good. Thank you,” he said. Crosshair could tell what Hunter was doing. Where the sniper was rigid, aloof, difficult, the sergeant could be considerate, relatable, diplomatic. He thinks he can break you down this way. But he’ll only get a more amenable version of you, the marksman thought. The woman’s face did appear to soften as his brother continued. “We’re a bit different from the rest of them. But with the Republic gone, none of us are soldiers anymore. Gotta find ways to make ends meet.”

The woman seemed to be opening up. Crosshair didn’t trust a minute of it. “Yeah, I know all about that. It’s hard to get by these days.” She turned to Hunter with a small smile. “I’m Dara.”

“Dara.” He smiled back at her. “Any reason we should be worried that the Empire might come looking for you, Dara?”

She shook her head. “The shuttle really was… well, not exactly a misunderstanding. I just panicked. I’ve been traveling. I was staying in a village on Takodana when the Empire began rounding up all the villagers—I have no idea why. I hid and tried to make a break for my ship, but some troopers spotted me. The shuttle was closest. I managed to take off but it took a hit before I entered hyperspace, and that was just where I ended up when my systems started failing.”

Hunter looked thoughtful. “Well, they probably won’t come after you. But I wouldn’t risk going back to Takodana. You likely won’t be getting your ship back.”

He was already heading back to his bunk when Dara spoke up again. “Thank you. I mean it. All of you.” She shot grateful looks at Tech and Crosshair in particular. “I’m lucky you found me when you did.” She was treated with another smile from Hunter as he left. Tech looked rather pleased with himself.

Crosshair leaned toward her, drinking in her beatific expression as he looked into her eyes. “Liar,” he hissed. Even as her expression remained largely impassive, her eyes glinted and nostrils flared ever-so-slightly, hinting at the snarl she was just barely containing. There, he though, leaning back satisfactorily. The knife’s edge of her self-control. That was a start.

Next chapter

[randomestfandoms-ocs]

🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 🌹 - a garden to make up for tumblr eating your old one

Gotta level with you i did not count how many sentences is in this blurb but enjoy

Warnings: implied sexual content and drug use

Second warning – I don't think there's anything explicit in this that needs tagging but since you know the bigger context, it is all very focused on Cordelia really not handling the aftermath of the pre-rehab conversation well at all

Alex hated not being able to read Cordelia.  They’d been inseparable for as long as he could remember, two halves of a whole disaster, as Clover used to call them.  He knew her as well as he knew himself, if not better.  But still, there was something in the way that she was watching him that he couldn’t quite place. “Good morning, Delia,” he drawled.  “I would be better if someone hadn’t decided to wake me up at ass o’clock in the morning.” It was, of course, already ten.  But where Alex was still more asleep than awake, dressed only in the old sweatpants he’d pulled on to greet his sister, Cordelia had already had a full day.  After her talk with Cove, she’d put the girl to bed in her guest room, but she hadn’t been able to sleep herself.  Cove’s words had been replaying in her mind all night — how he’d pressed her up against the wall, the filthy promises he’d whispered in her ear, the way he’d only pulled back when he could see the pure want in her eyes, leaving her with a smirk — and mixed with That Conversation, Cordelia had been left with a cocktail of nauseating anxiety and dread, and the knowledge that sleep simply wasn’t an option for her.   Over the course of the night she’d treated herself to four iced lattes, courtesy of the exquisite but rarely used espresso bar in her kitchen, and she’d kept herself busy.  She’d reorganized her closet – twice, had reorganized her bar and made herself an inventory sheet of every bottle she owned.  She had called Santino in a panic when she found a too-familiar baggie in one of her jacket pockets, had accepted his FaceTime request so that he could wash her flush it down the drain.  She’d spent nearly two hours in her building’s gym, then had turned off all of her bathroom lights to get through an extra long, extra hot, very thorough shower. Even then, even with the longest possible version of her skincare routine added on, it was still too early to actually be called morning.  And so, she’d dwelled.  She’d done her hair and makeup for the day, and she dwelled.  She tried on half a dozen possible outfits, and she dwelled.  And the longer she dwelled, the more upset she got. She was angry at Alex, sure.  He hadn’t handled things well, at all, and poor Cove had been in a complete state last night.  It had been left to Cordelia to calm her down and answer her seemingly endless questions — about Euphoria, about the dynamic of her friend group, about Alex.  To feed her promises that she didn’t even believe, that Alex might be an ass but wouldn’t actually hurt her, that he would listen if she said no.  To promise that, once Cove felt better, she would teach her everything there was to know about this world.  All shit that should have happened before Alex interrupted her date, made promises dirtier than anything Cove had ever been exposed to, and decided that it was somehow appropriate to grope her.  But the anger was secondary.  She didn’t want to name the bigger feeling, didn’t know if she even could. “Well I’m great, thanks for asking.  Would be better if someone hadn’t decided to threaten Cove Davenport with intense impact play, dropped four years of our friends’ sexual history on her, and then left me to clean up the pieces.”

[emeraldhypothesis]

FOR THE ASK MEME hmm how bout kaito, akira, and . 🐩 :)

woah baby a triple

Kaito:

Why I like them/why I don’t

Kaito is, on a purely emotional level, my favorite of the Kaiba rivals. He's the one I latched onto first thanks to Youtube recommending me some of his best scenes as I got back into the game, so I always associate him with hype and aura, as the kids say. I love his fondness for Haruto, his bickering with Orbital, his weird situationship with Mizael and the soft spot that Yuma brings out in him throughout Zexals 1 and 2.

What I like about their appearance

His magical girl transformation highlights how good he looks in black and white alike. His eyes are this fearsome shade of piercing blue. I also love that shot from the transformation where his eye like pulses as if shifts red, it's a fun way to show the costs on his body that the transformation takes.

I also like how short this brat is. He's barely taller than Yuma or Shark and he has five years on them. They're gonna outgrow him so hard once puberty kicks in and it leads to the funniest images.

Learning to love the hair was a difficult process, but we made it through. Shout out to anyone who just gives him the Vergil haircut in fanart though, it looks way better.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

I will sometimes use Kite if I'm legit too lazy to write/say the full name, but 99% of the time it's Kaito.

Performance wise I have a soft spot for Christopher Kromer as Kite due to nostalgia and a few pretty good line reads (especially his bickering with Orbital), but Koki Uchiyama delivered a tonally perfect performance and every time I hear his summon chants for Galaxy-Eyes he brings the wow-factor, it's like the audio version of getting slammed into your chair.

OTP

Gotta be Galaxymaster. Kaito and Mizael need each other during Zexal 2 (because otherwise they don't really have a character arc between them), and that Moon Duel is the stuff of legends.

"If there's a next time we meet... won't you tell me, what happened to you?" Is one of those lines that sits in my heart.

NOTP

Kaito with anyone Ryoga's age or younger unless you mess with the timeline to make the kids older. Please do not have Kaito trying to hook up with literal middle schoolers.

OT3

Not in a ship sense but the dynamics I've seen about Kaito and Christopher doing their day jobs and Mizael hanging around like an unwanted guest at a party is so funny to me.

Favourite card they use

FROM THE DARKNESS OF THE UNIVERSE COMES A RAY OF HOPE, THE TRUE EMBODIMENT OF THE LIGHT-

It's Galaxy-Eyes, any variation, any form, they're all peak in my eyes ha ha. I have a GEPD pin for my backpack that glows in the dark! I build Galaxy-Eyes first in almost every game that lets me.

(master duel please let me have a royal Galaxy Eyes I've crafted the card like a hundred times!)

Favourite moment they were in

All of them? He's the GOAT.

But for real, three big moments:

Stopping time to fight Yuma and kick his ass hard enough that he teaches Astral fear.

His tag duel with Yuma against 3 and 4 that ends with Neo GEPD, one of the coolest summons and comebacks in the franchise.

Moon Duel, all of it, start to finish.

Honorable mention to the time he flexed on Shark by whipping out a FUSION SUMMON though.

Least favourite moment

Arc-V Kaito in general is... not great, but I'm really not fond of how much of a raging bitch they make him. And don't ever get me started on those stupid Cipher cards.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

With bro's heart condition, any rumbling in the hay risks life and limb. I think Mizael would also kill anyone who gets in the middle of his Thing with Kaito.

Akira:

Why I like them/why I don’t

I'm largely chill on Akira, but that's more because he kinda just doesn't do a whole lot ha ha. What time he does get is usually good, especially in Season 1, but afterwards he's kinda there. Never annoying levels of Just There, but he's kinda There. Suffers a lot from a lot of his Season 2 screentime being tied to Go's whole deal.

What I like about their appearance

Always fond of when Yugioh just has a Dude Character who looks like he'd be found shopping in Target wearing the world's worst polo shirts. Akira joining the vaunted halls of Shuzo Hiragi and Bastion with that one.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Same in both languages. I enjoy both his Japanese and English performances.

OTP

I think he and Ema are very cute together.

NOTP

Akira's old enough to have a pension plan, do NOT ship him with the teenagers!

OT3

Akira/Ema/a spreadsheet of their transactions and a glass of wine.

Favourite card they use

Acute Cerberus! Weird little doggy, looking forward to seeing its summon animation in Duel Links.

Favourite moment they were in

Acute Cerberus's summon in his duel with Playmaker goes weirdly hard for no reason thanks to a giant explosion? But in general that duel is great as being one of the first Big Looks into the Lost Incident, alongside letting us see Playmaker and Kusanagi get furious at Akira for trying to get them to stand down. It's both great as a moment where we get to see them express raw emotion, and begins my favorite unintentional running bit in Vrains of "The Zaizens will always fumble emotional conversations."

Least favourite moment

The amount of rope he gives Soltech would make a hangman embarrassed.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

Marry for the money and to be a stay at home parent so Aoi can forge a single emotional connection without an asterisk tied to it, we both know he's married to the job if he still hasn't managed to ask Ema out.

Dennis:

Why I like them/why I don’t

Dennis is really... interesting. He's genuinely one of the most layered characters in the series and taps into a niche I have of someone who wears so many masks and lives so many lies that uncovering the true self is a near impossible task even for them. Someone who's been so caught up in working as an agent for Academia that Dennis barely exists as himself, because he's spent so long as a social chameleon that he hasn't "turned off" in ages and been himself.

He suffers a bit from haphazard screentime like a lot of the Arc-V cast, but he's always a hoot when he's around and he has one of the most unexpectedly brutal fates in the series when he can't keep spinning his lies anymore and decides to card himself to avoid having to make a choice, almost like he'd prefer to die rather than make a choice as himself rather than Dennis the Lancer or Dennis the Spy.

The funny ha ha broadway white boy jokes help, but Dennis is a very layered character that easily could have carried a series-wide arc if given more time in the limelight.

What I like about their appearance

I enjoy his stupid ass never replacing the torn sleeve of his jacket, asymmetry is always fun.

Do I prefer their dub names or original names?

Mackfield and McField sound the same. I think I prefer McField. It makes him sound more like a white guy.

Performance wise, I think I have to give it to the dub! Tetsuya Kakihara does a great job and I love his SHOW MUST GO ON chant for Trapeze Magician, but holy mother of God does Daniel J Edwards make Dennis shine. In the Arc-V Dub and Duel Links he's consistently one of the best talents, showing off a crazy range and some wild line reads between "It's me, Dennis!" and his Maximum Summon call in Duel Links.

Daniel understood the assignment is what I'm trying to say.

OTP

Legally obligated to say Duskshipping because Dana's mind-warping propaganda can't have been for nothing!

I think Janusshipping could also have some legs but I've not quite seen that one fic or art that makes me go "Oh. Oooooh I get it now," which I usually need to get a ship wedged in my head.

NOTP

Much as I do love a good hate-fuck ship, I do draw the line at Dennis/Shun. It's fun to watch Shun try to beat up Dennis but I think we have in fact found the baggage carry-on limit and to my eternal surprise, it was not Hellshark!

OT3

I'm fond of the fanart and scenarios where he's part of a little mean girls posse with Sora, Yuri and Serena! Not a romantic one but closest I've got, besides potential post-canon mindfucks of Yuri/Dennis with Yuya caught in the very uncomfortable middle.

Favourite card they use

His Performages are all very cute but I do have a soft spot for Flame Eater. He looks very Friend-Shaped!

Favourite moment they were in

Would it be gauche to say that time he killed himself in front of a crowd of people to forever alter the trajectory of their lives all to avoid having to make a decision in one of the most ADHD coded power plays yet seen in a YGO anime?

His Duel Links event was surprisingly good, as I was kinda expecting him to get off the hook with his betrayal but it actually plays a huge role in the event and we get to see a wide range of reactions between Kurosaki's disgust and Sawatari's... disinterest.

For real though, I love his match with Shun, getting to see him slip off one of his many masks and become Academia's dog was a long time coming and it lead to the awesome spectacle of Chaos Giant vs Satellite Cannon Falcon.

Least favourite moment

It sure would have been nice if I didn't have to wait until 2024 to see him meet Ruri and apologize to her. I also would have liked to see Dennis interacting with Leo and Yuri more.

Would I fuck, marry or kill them

I'm not catching his crazy, I'm running away from it. He's all yours, Dana.

[erin-unknown]

Music Shuffle Game

THE RULES: You gotta shuffle your 'on repeat' playlist on Spotify then post the first 10 songs.

I did this game not too long ago and followed the rules, so I'm gonna just sidestep those this time and do what I want 😈✨ I've used a lot of Florence + the Machine songs for my Dragon Age playlists over the years. I just wanted to share a handful of those. This is purely self-indulgent lmao~

Thanks for the tag and the inspiration, @hyperions-light!

I feel like this has gone around a couple times really recently, so I'm content to not tag anyone else for now (unless someone would really like to play the game, in which case: show me your music, please!)

Arielle Amell—you couldn't romance anyone in Awakening, but I headcanoned a sort of chaotic situationship between Amell and Anders anyway because I am unstoppable. It lasts all the way through Act 2 of DA2, but this song is their relationship's final death throes. Amell adopts a little boy she helped deliver in Anders' clinic and decides to leave Anders behind for good.

Branna Hawke—To me, this song is about reconnecting with the aging memory of a lost loved one. Forgetting sometimes feels like the hardest part of grieving, so this song is equal parts joy and sorrow. Literally always makes me cry (I cried while typing this!) I think Hawke and I both lost our dads at around the same age and so this song is for the both of us, lol.

Inquisitor songs under the cut because it's getting long.

Bhelan'nan Lavellan—This song is just so aggressively Lavellan and Solas to me lmao. I feel like these two complement each other so well and, like, I mean that for better and for worse. They are a larger-than-life power couple by the time they reunite at the end of Veilguard, and they'll either be diligent guardians and caretakers or a terrible force of nature, depending on who you are to them.

Bhelan'nan Lavellan—This is Lavellan chasing after Solas, during and post-Trespasser, but not quite literally. Lavellan is full of fury and heartbreak and fear, with Solas resolved to tear down the Veil. But she feels powerless in the face of his newfound strength, so she disappears into the wilds of Thedas in search of more power—more knowledge—anything she can use. Lavellan wants to stand on equal footing with him and demand the respect that both she and the people of Thedas deserve. She also wants to fall at his feet and beg. She's having a rough time of it.

Lavellan ends up befriending a spirit on this journey and allows it to possess her (oops!) and she has to return to the Augur of Stone-Bear Hold for help in separating them again.

Bhelan'nan Lavellan—In order to remain together, Lavellan and her spirit reach an equilibrium, but this requires releasing the love she still holds for Solas (at least, for now) and allowing Thedas and its people to be the center of her devotion, rather than Solas (or her desire for him to see her, desire her, respect and fear her).

Bonus! Maxwell Trevelyan—Totally outside the "canon" but I love my big silly himbo of a mage. So does Dorian. This song feels like it's reveling in the ordinariness and ease of a loved one's company and I really enjoy that gentle side of this romance. I just love these two so much—Kings of Making it Work since 9:42 Dragon.

Aw man, if anyone read any of that... thank you? 😘 I don't put this much thought into every track on my playlists, but these are all some of the special cases, for sure.

[mortul]

NAME? snii 🫡

PRONOUNS? any are fine! she/her is usually what people default to though.

MOST ACTIVE MUSES? if i'm not here i'm usually over on @quirofiliac aka kira yoshikage of jjba infamy 💜

EXPERIENCE/HOW MANY YEARS? i wanna say i started rping officially on tumblr in 2015-2016? but iirc i think i made my "first" rp blog in 2014 but never fully committed. however, i definitely was rping over on instant messenger (the real ones remember msn messenger.) since the early 2000s at least. i usually just say i have about 14-15 years of experience under my belt for the amount of time i've seriously considered this hobby but if i'm going to be real? i've been writing/creating for almost 20 years now-- give or take a few!

FLUFF, ANGST, OR SMUT? i'm not gonna lie i am not... 😭 particular towards any of these three. i wouldn't say i'm a fantastic writer at angst (if only because i personally don't see the huge appeal for big, ongoing, and persistent tragic storylines.) nor am i entirely "into" fluff nor smut? nonetheless, i enjoy all of them pretty equally! i will only write smut with my ship partner, kitty, however. fluff usually is reserved for them, too, considering the nature of fluff and its existence, predominantly, within romantic ships. platonic fluff, if that's even a thing, is cool. 🙂‍↕️

LONG OR SHORT REPLIES? i'm a wordy bitch but i'm not very into the whole "you gotta match my length" spiel. as long as i know you're trying and aren't giving me literally nothing then s'all cool. i usually prefer starting off short then spreading out as the thread gets more and more involved, though.

PET PEEVES? i -- and my muses -- could literally not give any less of a shit if your character is super powerful, super smart, the best looking in the room, soooo cute, soooo innocent, doesn't deserve anything "bad" happening to them ever, is "better" than my muse in any certain way, etcetera... that's a little too "baby's first OC" (and this applies to canons, too. i am a full-fledged hater.) for me and i'd rather not deal with that, personally.

ARE YOU LIKE YOUR MUSE? christoph is my little guy. i always tend to put a little bit of myself into every oc (and, commonly, into every canon i play depending.) i create so... maybe? a little bit? but i'm not tall nor am i a chainsmoker. i also am not as annoying as he is. i would also not survive a fight; i'd actually die. i'd probably actually keel over from the sheer stress of it all.

TIME TO WRITE? whenever the mania strikes, i fear. 💖

TAGGED BY: @mrgoatman thank u!! TAGGING: steal this and say i tagged u 🫡

[theoneeyedgoldenwolf]

Story idea # 13

This is different than before or after this one:

PROMPTS FOR YEAR 2025! =D

I have side blog for this with bit better explanations and guidelines but enjoy creating! ^.^ @prompts-from-the-golden-wolf

The main info will be in there but in short: - No deadlines - Do the prompts in whatever order you wish - Use whatever pronouns you want to - You can use the same prompt as many times as you wish - Create whatever you wish: writing, drawing, music... The list is endless, just pick what you wish and enjoy creating - This is mainly for Legend of Zelda and the AUs people have created from the francise but all fandoms and original creations are also welcomed - Tag me within the actual work if you wish your creation to be found and reblogged into my side blog

Now, without further stuff... THE PROMPTS! =D

There are 53 main prompts and 6 extra prompts. One main prompt for each week of the year 2025 (wanted full year into there and hence the extra week's prompt). - All are speech lines I've come up with. =) - I have tried to put some of them to fit into the holiday that's within the given week. The holidays have been informed in brackets. - Most are whump styled with few for fluff but you can do whatever you wish for the prompts. If you want it hard, then try to do fluff for whumpy prompt and vice versa. ;)

Prompt # 1: “Make a wish for it will be your last words.”

Prompt # 2: “You call that a strike? Ha! Didn’t even feel it! How about you try again and this time you hit like you mean it.”

Prompt # 3: “I have no idea what you’re meaning but if that’s what you believe in then I doubt I have a way to change your mind.”

Prompt # 4: “You’re crazy if you think I’m going to jump down from here!”

Prompt # 5: “Live or die. Doesn’t make a difference. You’re still doomed.”

Prompt # 6:  “Hear me out before you shoot this idea down.”

Prompt # 7: ”I love you so much that it hurts but you deserve so much better than me.” (VALENTINE’S DAY!)

Prompt # 8: “I know I’m asking a lot but can you just hold me for a moment. Please?”

Prompt # 9: “By the time I’m done with you there will be nothing worth saving anymore.”

Prompt # 10: “Shoot that arrow straight and true if you wish to continue.”

Prompt # 11: “Anyone knowing where we are?”

Prompt # 12: “If you think that’s the right melody then you don’t know a thing about music.”

Prompt # 13: “Hero, huh? Not so grand now, are you.”

Prompt # 14: “No. No. No. Not that one either. No. Where is it? No. AAARGH! WHO THE HELL STOLE M—! Oh, there it is.”

Prompt # 15: “What can you create out of one third of red potion, too short rope to be much of use and one arrow but having no bow?” – “A way out of here.”

Prompt # 16: “W-when did you do this?! This gotta have taken insane amount of time!”

Prompt # 17: “Take my hand and close your eyes. I won’t let anything bad happen to you.”

Prompt # 18: “NO! (insert a name)! LEAVE (insert pronounce) ALONE!”

Prompt # 19: “Day of celebration and I’m alone at home. I hope my family’s safe out there somewhere.” (MOTHER’S DAY!)

Prompt # 20: “Are we going in circles or is this some kind of loop thing?”

Prompt # 21: “Anyone having Ice or Water magic?”

Prompt # 22: “…Is there something you don’t have along or can you bring out absolutely anything imaginable?

Prompt # 23: “Test of strength, huh? With or without special things?”

Prompt # 24: “Please no! I can’t swim!”

Prompt # 25: “This heat is killing me!” (MIDSUMMER / SUMMER SOLSTICE!)

Prompt # 26: “Stop whimpering! That sound is so annoying!”

Prompt # 27: “ATTACK!”

Prompt # 28: “I’m going to enjoy listening you scream.”

Prompt # 29: “You’re going to look ridiculous wearing that.”

Prompt # 30: “The reason I love cursed items is the fact that you never know how your target will react to them.”

Prompt # 31: “Map or no map. Doesn’t matter. We’ll get out of here. I promise.”

Prompt # 32: “Swimming? After that incident? Not a chance!”

Prompt # 33: “Did you really think you could’ve gotten away from me?”

Prompt # 34:  “Slow down. I can’t keep up to your pace.”

Prompt # 35: “Do you believe in miracles? Because, to me, you are such.”

Prompt # 36: “I’m not worth it.”

Prompt # 37: “What the hell happened to leave you looking that awful?”

Prompt # 38: “What was that?”

Prompt # 39: “I hate this weather!”

Prompt # 40: “The time of monsters is here! Rejoice!”

Prompt # 41: “Where the hell is the backup when you desperately need it?!”

Prompt # 42: “No fairy is going to revive you while my curse flows in your veins.”

Prompt # 43: “You think you can see through the lies but you’re as blind as a bat.”

Prompt # 44: “If you think you’ll see the next sunrise then you’re sourly mistaken.” (HALLOWEEN!)

Prompt # 45: “Ow! Ow! Ow! Stop it! That hurts! Ow! Seriously! Knock it off!”

Prompt # 46: “Those traitorous bastards! I’m going to kill them all!”

Prompt # 47: “When you grow up… What do you wish to be?”

Prompt # 48: “Making decorations, huh? That’s so sweet.”

Prompt # 49: “Please don’t break. Please don’t break….. Crap!”

Prompt # 50: “And here I thought you were unbreakable. Wasn’t aware you’re capable of crying.”

Prompt # 51: “The darkness will not win.” (WINTER SOLSTICE!)

Prompt # 52: “Are you happy now?”

Prompt # 53 (1): “Even if the world comes to an end today I’m happy I had this life with you.”

Few extra lines which are more specific than the main prompts:

Extra 1: Time, LU: “No wonder you understood me so swiftly. This book’s in my Hylian.”

Extra 2: Bad guy to Legend, LU: “Legend, huh? How are you alive when legends are old stories rotting in ancient bookshelves?”

Extra 3: Time, LU: “Stay in defense! Don’t let them through! We’ll survive this as long as we do things wisely!”

Extra 4: Time, LU: “Harm them and you will find out the hard way why they call me Protective Alpha Wolf.”

Extra 5: Time, LU: “Why am I wasting my breath on this? None of you is listening to a word I’m saying.”

Extra 6: The Yiga, LU / BotW: “Care to buy some Mighty Bananas? They’re deadly good.” -> Don’t know if the Yiga’s still obsessed with the Mighty Bananas in TotK since haven’t yet played far. ^^;;

[sapphire-weapon]

hello there, how's your day going :)

i know you've talked about this before, i've seen your answer myself but i just have to say this one to let out some frustration in me lol

i've been scrolling down on tiktok for some eagleone content and whenever i see a video slightly about them there's like "siblings fr" / "brother-sister" captions and it's making me almost fume LMFAOO

what the HELL are these people talking about seriously.

and the comments are even worse, saying "so glad everyone is thinking of them as siblings" kinda shit

i have this urge....urge to puke bc whAT 🗣️🗣️❗❗

like, say something normal like "good friends" or "platonic" at least if you can't see them as a ship, since NOTHING in RE4make between Leon and Ashley are sibling-like to me and im sure many people who know smt little about body language can tell that

i just think this is some kinda propaganda to stop ppl shipping eagleone at this point lol some new ppl could indeed feel bad about shipping them if the majority of the ppl they see on social media see them as... siblings *pukes*

however it makes me wanna write some juicy, intense smut with the ship just to rile these ppl up haha

(thanks for reading this nonsense babbling)

.....

I know it's frustrating, anon. It's easy to ignore one person being dumb and wrong, because your brain can more easily go "ha ha look at what the jackass said" and move on. But to see people being stupid and wrong en masse over and over and over again is a little soul-crushing.

I'm personally going through this with the goddamn mafia background shit. I've kind of reached a point where I'd rather be trapped in a room with the entirety of Aeon fandom than have to bear witness to even just one more motherfucker who actually thinks that Leon is actually legitimately meant to be seen as Italian by Capcom -- ESPECIALLY after seeing what he looks like in Remake -- because apparently half of the people in RE fandom have never actually seen an Italian person in their fucking life. And, as someone from New Jersey, I take that shit personally. My stepdad's last name is Renzulli. Don't fucking tell me that Leon Scott fucking Kennedy is meant to be the son of Italian immigrants.

But I think what's important to bear in mind is that nothing that dumbasses say in this fandom -- no matter how many they are or how many times they say their stupid bullshit -- changes what the canon actually is or says. Twitter/Tumblr/TikTok dumbasses especially have no power over RE canon. When game devs look for fan response, they look for actual fan response to their official tweets and blog posts, as well as some forums (hello ResetEra), prominent content creators on Twitch and Youtube and what their audiences are saying, and game reviews (as well as comments posted on game reivews). No one at Capcom gives a singular flying fuck what the deeper fandom side of fandom is doing or saying, because they know that most of us are certifiable.

So, as rage-inducing as it is, we gotta just let some things go, man.

Leon/Ashley is a canonical romance, intended to be viewed as romantic by Capcom, and that's not going to change no matter how many thinly-veiled misogynists try to bad-faith morality police their way around fandom otherwise.

Leon Kennedy has no official backstory per canon and has never, in any way, shape, or form, been modeled or portrayed in a way that's meant to be viewed as Italian or in a way that makes sense with the idea he has mafia ties in his family or background.

Anyone who ever tries to tell you otherwise is selling something.

Remember: if it's not in the games, it's not canon. And what is in the games is a romance. Full stop.

So, if you can channel that rage into something productive like smut, please, for the love of god, do. It's a way better response than getting yourself all riled up. And this ship needs more creators putting stuff in the tag, besides.

[hxneyfarm]

wip wednesday

i was not tagged by anybody but because i have finally been given permission to talk about my steddiebang project, i'm goddamn gonna.

RULES

Post up to five (5) filenames of your WIPs; not titles, file names.

Post a snippet from one of them. Snippet must be words you wrote in the last 7 days. We’re posting progress here. This is an opportunity to flex your steddiebang - DO THAT.

After you’ve posted, people can send you an ask with one of your file names. You must then write 3 sentences in that file.

That’s it! You can invite others to join in or just post.

*Optional: Respond the the ask with the lines you wrote. (This is me holding myself accountable honestly)

WIPS - all my file names already have titles

batter up! (steddiebang!!!)

greatest hits (final update forthcoming... at some point...)

for the bit (fake dating au, currently going thru a full rebrand)

Early in the week, Wrigley Field welcomes the press for interviews about their upcoming games, the spring season now well underway, and a reporter from ESPN actually has the nerve to ask Steve about it.

“Yeah, of course I’ve listened to it,” Steve tells her, forcing a smile. “Eddie and I graduated high school together. He’s really made a name for himself, huh?”

“Well, you do know what the rumor is, don’t you? It’s been all over Reddit all week.”

Of course Steve knows what the going rumor is. It’s him, he is the rumor. He puts on his best doofus expression. “No, I hadn’t heard. I don’t spend much time online these days.”

He waits for her to say it, for the ESPN reporter he once went down on in the locker room after everybody else went home for the night to tell him that he is the subject of even more gay rumors, less than a year after he’d been caught fucking a teammate in the very same locker room where he fucked her.

What’s her name again…? Shelby? Sara? Samantha? Steve can’t fucking remember. She doesn’t say it, though; she puts a finger to her earpiece and smiles once again at the camera.

“Looks like that’s all we have time for,” she says instead. “This is Simone Tindell, signing off for ESPN.”

Simone. That’s right.

The camera shuts off, and Simone smacks Steve on the arm. “You do know, don’t you?”

“Off the record?” Simone nods. “Of course I know. That asshole hasn’t been subtle a day in his life. The album art? Cheap Cubs uniform? Number seven on his wristband? He practically gift-wrapped the rumors for me.”

“Is it about you, Steve?”

“You think Robin would let me say one way or another?” Steve asks, holding his hands out in a placating gesture. “And you can say as much as you want that you won’t tell anyone if I confirm it, but you’re a reporter above all else, Simone. If you get the scoop, you gotta run it.”

“Can you tell me what your favorite song is, at least?”

“No,” Steve says, short and simple. “I’m not talking about it. If I talk about it too much, the rumors will just get worse, and I really, honestly wanted to keep a low profile this season.”

“Are you mad at Eddie for releasing the album when he did?”

“No comment, Simone, okay? Let it drop already.”

“Are you done flirting?” calls one of his teammates.

“Fuck you, Carver.”

“Fuck me yourself, Harrington,” Jason Carver says with a wink.

“Better stay away from that one this season,” Simone teases. 

“Learned my lesson last year,” Steve says, nodding in agreement.

It got really bad last year. Carver had been deeper in the closet than Steve at the time, with the gold crucifix practically glued to his neck and the sign of the cross in the batter’s box every time he stepped up to the plate. 

The media storm overshadowed the team’s eight-win streak and put Steve in a vat of hot water.

Not both of them, just Steve. Because he already had a reputation before Carver even joined the team. And now on top of being a bitch and a slut, here he was corrupting a good Catholic boy from the Bible Belt, tempting him into sin. The accusations had sent Steve reeling, because they were the very same types of accusations Eddie had gotten after… well, after everything. 

With Carver last year it was never serious, so after getting caught it was easy for them to put a stop to it, but it has been months and they are both still being asked about their relationship. And Jason fucking Carver is still doing the absolute fucking most when there are cameras around that might see him within arm’s reach of Steve. Carver’s stats are garbage, so like… anything to have his name in print, right? Even if the only leg he’s got left to stand on is whatever relationship they may have had last year.

There never was a relationship, is the thing. They fucked around a couple of times here and there, and Steve was finished with him the one singular time he brought Carver back to his condo and watched him push his cat off the bed. Petty? Maybe, but he was never worth the headache in the first place.

In the months since the thing between them that had never even been a thing to begin with, Steve has continued to date around. He went out with a tattoo artist for a few weeks before dropping him when he realized he hated the way the guy laughed. And then there was the girl he’d gone out with a few times that had a cockatiel. He dumped her because she had a cockatiel. 

That’s another thing; Steve Harrington, serial dater, can’t commit.

It was never like that with Eddie. Sure, things between them ended badly, and way sooner than either of them would have liked, but that was justified. When you’re eighteen, threats about college and a beating from your dad outweighs every good thing in your life. Especially when every good thing runs away from the fight and leaves you to deal with it on your own, even after all the promises you made to each other.

Steve doesn’t know if he’s ready to reconcile with Eddie; he doesn’t know if he should. They were good in high school, an unlikely but compatible match in almost every way. They argued sometimes, about what they were to one another, because Steve wasn’t ready to be out, but the time they spent alone together remains some of the best memories of Steve’s high school career. Not even state championships could compare.

tagging literally all my followers and mutuals who are taking part in the bang. please join in, today's the wednesday to do it! even if you're not doing the bang and working on something else, please join in!

[justobsessedwithvic]

{Gasping}{Gasping}

-It's hideous!

-Ah, that's not very nice. It's just a donkey.

-Indeed. Knights, new plan! The one who kills the orge will be named

champion! Have it him!

-Get him!

-Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.

-Go ahead! Get him!

-Can't we just settle this over a pint?

-Kill the beast!

-No? All right then. Come on!

I don't give a damn about my reputation

You're living in the past

It's a new generation

-Damn!

{Whinnying}

A girl can do what she wants to do

And that's what I'm gonna do

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me

Me, me, me

-Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Never said I wanted to improve my station

-Ah!

{Laughs}

And I'm always feelin' good when I'm having fun

-Yeah!

And I don't have to please no one

-The chair! Give him the chair!

And I don't give a damn about my bad reputation

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me

Me, me, me

Oh, no, no, no, no, no. Not me, not me

{Bell dings}

{Cheering}

{Laughs}

-Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah! Thank you! Thank you very much! I'm here till

Thursday. Try the veal! Ha, ha!

{Shrek laughs}

{Crowd gasping, murmuring}

-Shall I give the order, sir?

-No, I have a better idea. People of DuLoc, I give you our champion!

-What?

-Congratulations, orge. You're won the honor of embarking on a great

and noble quest.

-Quest? I'm already in a quest, a quest to get my swamp back.

-Your swamp?

-Yeah, my swamp! Where you dumped those tale creatures!

{Crowd murmuring}

-Indeed. All right, orge. I'll make you a deal. Go on this quest for

me, and I'll give you your swamp back.

-Exactly the way it was?

-Down to the last slime-covered toadstool.

-And the squatters?

-As good as gone.

-What kind of quest?

-Let me get this straight. You're gonna go fight a dragon and rescue a

princess just so Farquaad will give you back a swamp which you only

don't have because he filled it full of freaks in the first place.

-Is that about right?

-Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.

-I don't get it. Why don't you just pull some of that orge stuff on

him? Throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grinds his bones to make

your bread, the whole orge trip.

-Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and

put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and

drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?

-Uh, no, not really, no.

-For your information, there's a lot more to orges than people think.

-Example?

-Example? Okay, um, orges are like onions.

-{Sniffs} They stink?

-Yes - - No!

-They make you cry?

-No!

-You leave them in the sun, they get all brown, start sproutin' little

white hairs.

-No! Layers! Onions have layers. Orges have layers! Onions have

layers. You get it? We both have layers.

{Sighs}

-Oh, you both have layers. Oh. {Sniffs} You know, not everybody likes

onions. Cake! Everybody loves cakes! Cakes have layers.

-I don't care... what everyone likes. Orges are not like cakes.

-You know what else everybody likes? Parfaits. Have you ever met a

person, you say, "Let's get some parfait," they say, "No, I don't like

no parfait"? Parfaits are delicious.

-No! You dense, irritating, miniature beast of burden! Orges are like

onions! And of story. Bye-bye. See ya later.

-Parfaits may be the most delicious thing on the whole damn planet.

-You know, I think I preferred your humming. Do you have a tissure or

something? I'm making a mess. Just the word parfait make me start

slobbering.

I'm on my way from misery to happiness today

Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

I'm on my way from misery to happiness today

Uh-huh,uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh

And everything that you receive up yonder

Is what you give to me the day I wander

I'm on my way

I'm on my way

I'm on my way

-Ohh! Shrek! Did you do that?

-You gotta warn somebody before you just crack one off. My mouth was

open. Believe me, Donkey, if it was me, you'd be dead. {Sniffs} It's

brimstone We must be getting close.

-Yeah, right, brimstone. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I

know what I smell. It wasn't no brimstone. It didn't come off no stone

neither.

{Rumbling}

-Sure, it's big enough, but look at the location.

{Laughing}

-Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when you said orges have layers?

-Oh, aye.

-Well, I have a bit of a confession to make. Donkeys don't have

layers. We wear our fear right out there on our sleeves.

-Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.

-You know what I mean.

-You can't tell me you're afraid of heights.

-I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on a rickety bridge over

a boiling like of lava!

-Come on, Donkey. I'm right here beside ya, okay? For emotional

support., we'll just tackle this thing together one little baby step

at a time.

-Really?

-Really, really.

-Okay, that makes me feel so much better.

-Just keep moving. And don't look down.

-Okay, don't look down. Don't look down. Don't look down. Keep on

moving. Don't look down.

{Gasps}

-Shrek! I'm lookin' down! Oh, God, I can't do this! Just let me off,

please!

-But you're already halfway.

-But I know that half is safe!

-Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.

-Shrek, no! Wait!

-Just, Donkey - - Let's have a dance then, shall me?

-Don't do that!

-Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?

-Oh, this?

-Yes, that!

-Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.

{Screams}

-No, Shrek! No! Stop it!

-You said do it! I'm doin' it.

-I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. Shrek, I'm gonna die. Oh!

-That'll do, Donkey. That'll do.

-Cool.

-So where is this fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?

-Inside, waiting for us to rescue her.

{Chuckles}

-I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.

{Water dripping, wind howling}

-You afraid?

-No.

-But - -

- Shh.

-Oh, good. Me neither.

{Gasps}

-'Cause there's nothin' wrong with bein' afraid. Fear's a sensible

response to an unfamiliar situation. Unfamiliar dangerous situation, I

might add. With a dragon that breathes fire and eats knights and

breathes fire, it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little

scared. I sure as heck ain't no coward. I know that.

{Gasps}

-Donkey, two things, okay? Shut ... up. Now go over there and see if

you can find any stairs.

-Stairs? I thought we was lookin' for the princess.

-The princess will be up the stairs in the highest room in the tallest

tower.

-What makes you think she'll be there?

-I read it in a book once.

-Cool. You handle the dragon. I'll handle the stairs. I'll find those

stairs. I'll whip their butt too. Those stairs won't know which way

they're goin'.

{Creacing}

-I'm gonna take drastic steps. Kick it to the curb. Don't mess with

me. I'm the stair master. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had a

step right here. I'd step all over it.

-Well, at least we know where the princess is, but where's the - -

-Dragon!

{Screams}

{Gasps}

{Roars}

-Donkey, look out!

{Screams}

{Whimpering}

-Got ya!

{Roars}

{Gasps}

{Shouts}

-Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

{Screaming}

{Gasps}

-Oh! Aah! Aah!

{Gasping}

{Crowls}

-No. Oh, no, No!

{Screams}

-Oh, what large teeth you have.

{Crowls}

-I mean white, sparkling teeth. I know you probably hear this all time

from your food, but you must bleach, 'cause that is one dazzling smile

you got there. Do I detect a hint of minty freshness? And you know

what else? You're - - You're a girl dragon! Oh, sure! I mean, of

course you're a girl dragon. You're just reeking of feminine beauty.

What's the matter with you? You got something in your eye? Ohh. Oh.

Oh. Man, I'd really love to stay, but you know, I'm, uh - -

(Coughs)

-I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd work out if you're gonna

blow smoke rings. Shrek!

{Gasps}

{Whimpering}

-No! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!

{Groans, Sighs}

{Vocalizing}

-Oh! Oh!

-Wake up!

-What?

-Are you Princess Fiona?

-I am, awaiting a knight so bold as to rescue me.

-Oh, that's nice. Now let's go!

-But wait, Sir Knight. This be-ith our first meeting. Should it not be

a wonderful, romantic moment?

-Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.

-Hey, wait. What are you doing? You should sweep me off my feet out

yonder window and down a rope onto your valiant steed.

-You've had a lot of time to plan this, haven't you?

-Mm-hmm.

{Screams, grunts}

-But we have to savor this moment! You could recite an epic poem for

me. A ballad? A sonnet! A limerick? Or something!

-I don't think so.

-Can I at least know the name of my champion?

-Um, Shrek.

-Sir Shrek.

{Cleans throat}

-I pray that you take this favor as a token of my gratitude.

-Thanks!

{Roaring}

-You didn't slay the dragon?

-It's on my to-do list. Now come on!

{Screams}

-But this isn't right! You were meant to charge in, sword drawn,

banner flying. That's what all the other knights did.

-Yeah, right before they burst into flame.

-That's not the point. Oh!

-Wait. Where are you going? The next's over there.

-Well, I have to save my ass.

-What kind of knight are you?

-One of a kind.

-Slow down. Slow down, baby, please. I believe it's healthy to get to

know someone over a long perriod of time. Just call me old-fashioned.

{Laughs}

-I don't want to rush into a physical relationship. I'm not

emotionally ready for a commitment of, uh, this - - Magnitude really

is the word I'm looking for. Magnitude- - Hey, that is unwanted

physical contact. Hey, what are you doing? Okay, okay. Let's just back

up a little and take this one step at a time. We really should get to

know each other first as friends or pen pals. I'm on the road a lot,

but I just love receiving cards - - I'd really love to stay, but - -

Don't do that! That's my tail! That's my personal tail. You're gonna

tear it off. I don't give permission - - What are you gonna do with

that? Hey, now. No way. No! No! No, no! No. No, no, no. No! Oh!

{Growls}

{Roaring}

{Gasps}

-Hi, Princess!

-It talks!

-Yeah, it's getting him to shut up that's the trick.

{Screams}

{Screaming}

-Oh!

{Thuds}

{Groans}

{Roars}

{Roaring}

-Okay, you two, heard for the exit! I'll take care of the dragon.

{Fchoing}

-Run!

{Gasping}

{Screaming}

{Roaring}

{Screams}

{Roars}

{Panting, sighs}

{Whimpers}

{Roars}

-You did it!

-You rescued me! You're amazing. You're - - You're wonderful.

You're... a little unorthodox I'll admit. But they deed is great, and

thine heart is pure. I am eternally in your debt.

{Clears throat}

-And where would a brave knight be without his noble steed?

-I hope you heard that. She called me a noble steed. She think I'm a

steed.

-The battle is won. You may remove your helmet, good Sir Knight.

-Uh, no.

-Why not?

-I have helmet hair.

-Please. I would'st look upon the face of my rescuer.

-No, no, you wouldn't - - 'st.

-But how will you kiss me?

-What? That wasn't in the job description.

-Maybe it's a perk.

-No, it's destiny. Oh, you must know how it goes. A princess locked in

a tower and beset by a dragon is rescued by a brave knight, and then

they share true love's first kiss.

-Hmm? With Shrek? You think- - Wait. Wait. You think that Shrek is you

true love?

-Well, yes.

{Laughing}

-You think Shrek is your true love!

-What is so funny?

-Let's just say I'm not your tipe, okay?

-Of course, you are. You're my rescuer. Now - - Now remove your

helmet.

-Look. I really don't think this is a good idea.

-Just take off the helmet.

-I'm not going to.

-Take ot off.

-No!

-Now!

-Okay! Easy. As you command. Your Highness.

-You- - You're a- - an orge.

-Oh, you were expecting Prince Charming.

-Well, yes, actually. Oh, no. This is all wrong. You're not supposed

to be an orge.

{Sighs}

-Princess, I was sent to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay? He is the

one who wants to marry you.

-Then why didn't he come rescue me?

-Good question. You should ask him that when we get there.

-But I have to be rescued by my true love, not by some prge and his- -

his pet.

-So much for noble steed.

-You're not making my job any easier.

-I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem. You can tell Lord Farquaad

that if he wants to rescue me properly, I'll be waiting for him right

here.

-Hey! I'm no one's messenger boy, all right? I'm a delivery boy.

-You wouldn't dare. Put me down!

-Ya comin', Donkey?

-I'm right behind ya.

-Put me down, or you will suffer the consequences! This is not

dignified! Put me down!

-Okay, so here's another question. Say there's a woman that digs you,

right, but you don't really like her that way. How do you let her down

real easy so her feelings aren't hurt, but you don't get burned to a

crisp and eaten?

-You just tell her she's not your true love. Everyone knowest what

happens when you find your - - Hey!

{Sighs}

-The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.

-You're gonna love it there, Princess. It's beautiful!

-And what of my groom-to-be? Lord Farquaad? What's he like?

-Let me put it this way, Princess. Men of Farquaad's stature are in

short supply.

{Laughs}

-I don't know. There are those who think little of him.

-Stop it. Stop it, both of you. You're just jealous you can never

measure up to a great ruler like Lord Farquaad.

-Yeah, well, maybe you're right, Princess. But I'll let you do the

"measuring" when you see him tomorrow.

-Tomorrow? It'll take that long? Shouldn't we stop to make camp?

-No, that'll take longer. We can keep going.

-But there's robbers in the woods.

-Whoa! Time out, Shrek! Camping's starting to sound good.

-Hey, come on. I'm scarier than anything we're going to see in this

forest.

-I need to find somewhere to camp now!

{Birds wings fluttering}

{Grunting}

-Hey! Over here.

-Shrek, we can do better than that. I don't think this is fit for a

princess.

-No, no, it's perfect. It just needs a few homey touches.

-Homey touches? Like what?

{Crashing}

-A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.

-You want me to read you a bedtime story? I will.

-I said good night!

-Shrek, What are you doing?

{Laughs}

-I just- - You know - - Oh, come on. I was just kidding.

{Fire cracking}

-And, uh, that one, that's Throwback, the only orge to ever spit over

three wheat fields. Right. Yeah.

-Hey, can you tell my future from these stars?

-The stars don't tell the future, Donkey. They tell stories. Look,

there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent. You can guess what he's famous for.

-I know you're making this up.

-No, look. There he is, and there's the group of hunters running away

from his stench.

-That ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.

-You know, Donkey, sometimes things are more than they appear. Hmm?

Forget it.

{Sighs}

-Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp anyway?

-Our swamp?

-You know, when we're through rescuing the princess.

-We? Donkey, there's no "we". There's no "our". There's just me and my

swamp. The first thing I'm gonna do is build a ten-foot wall arond my

land.

-You cut me deep, Shrek. You cut me real deep just now. You know what

I think? I think this whole wall thing is just a way to keep somebody

out.

-No, do ya think?

-Are you hidin' something?

-Never mind, Donkey.

-Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?

-No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it alone things.

-Why don't you want to talk about it?

-Why do you want to talk about it?

-Why are you blocking?

-I'm not blocking.

-Oh, yes, you are.

-Donkey, I'm warning you.

-Who you trying to keep out?

-Everyone! Okay?

-Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.

-Oh! For the love of Pete!

-What's your problem? What you got against the whole world anyway?

-Look, I'm not the one with the problem, okay? It's the world that

seems to have a problem with me. People take one look at me and go.

"Aah! Help! Run! A big, stupid, ugly orge!" They judge me before they

even know me. That's why I'm better off alone.

-You know what? When we met, I didn't think you was just a big,

stupid, ugly orge.

-Yeah, I know.

-So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?

-Well, there's, um, Gabby, the Small and Annoying.

-Okay, okay, I see it now. The big shiny one, right there. That one

there?

-That's the moon.

-Oh, okay.

{Orchestra}

{Dulcimer}

-Again, show me again. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the

princess.

-Hmph.

-Ah. Perfect.

{Inhales}

{Snoring}

{Vocalizing}

{Whistling}

{Sizzling}

{Sniffs, yawns}

-Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.

--Come on, baby. I said I like it.

-Donkey, wake up.

-Huh? What?

-Wake up.

-What?

-Good morning. Hm, how do you like your eggs?

-Good morning, Princess!

-What's all this about?

-You know, we kind of got off to a bad start yesterday. I wanted to

make it up to you. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.

-Uh, thanks.

{Sniffs}

-Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.

{Belches}

-Shrek!

-What? It's a compliment. Better out than in, I always say. {Laughs}

-Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.

{Belches}

-Thanks.

-She's as nasty as you are.

-{Laughs} You know, you're not exactly what I expected.

-Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people before you get to know them.

{Vocalizing}

-La liberte! Hey!

-Princess!

{Laughs}

-What are you doing?

-Be still, mon cherie, for I am you savior! And I am rescuing you from

this green - -

{Kissing sounds}

-beast.

-Hey!

-That's my princess! Go find you own!

-Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?

me fr 😔

[infizero]

one day i will make a beautiful full rewrite of sonic forces like ive always dreamed of doing since i was a 14 year old girl

(ok so um. i started writing stuff in the tags and it accidentally got so long i went far beyond the tag limit. whoops. so this is just an actual post now. read more for my insane sonic forces rewrite ramblings)

i want to so fucking bad. every time i think about the wasted potential that is forces it makes me so depressed ToT i cant help but love forces despite it being garbage. the soundtrack is banging, the character customization is fun, i LOVE infinite, it attempted a darker story like the good ol days..... its so fucking bad but there were so many cool ideas and it drives me insane

also its one of the few sonic games i've actually played firsthand. purely because it was free on like the playstation game pass thing or whatever its called. and i did genuinely have fun with it even if it was pretty easy. also for the longest time of me being a sonic fan, forces was the latest mainline game. that era is when i got into sonic so idk. i cant help but look fondly on it even though its writing choices drive me fucking batty

while thinking about all this i came up with an interesting idea. so. there's something so fucking cool to me about infinite and the avatar's dynamic like. the way that infinite, despite his powers... him being a mobian and that scene of him flying right beside you and stuff..... idk its like he feels more on your level then some like ancient god villain or whatever.

that flying side-by-side scene esp inspired this but ANYWAY. what if, to make him AND the avatar character more interesting.... they were like. childhood friends or something. or just knew each other in the past in general. that would add SO much depth to their interactions within the game of like. infinite calling them weak. flying side by side. infinite's whole classic "character trying to reinvent themself" thing.

like infinite is using the power of the phantom ruby, trying to become strong because shadow called him weak and everything <- which btw this motivation has gotta change/be expanded upon cause this shit is still so silly. shadow called him gay and that's infinite's whole motive. cmon now we can do better than that

ANYWAYS. but that desperation from infinite to become an entirely new person - changing his name, wearing the mask, etc etc. that could become even more interesting if you add someone into the mix who knew infinite BEFORE his transformation.

and i know i know the avatar is supposed to be able to be projected on and stuff whatever whatever. but like idk man. plenty of protagonists have pasts that are part of the story even tho they're customizable. and besides it wouldnt be like a full backstory for the avatar. just the fact that they knew infinite once upon a time. and maybe something happened that split them apart or something. idk. but whatever happened between then and the events of the game wouldn't be elaborated upon, so you'd still be able to come up with your own story for your character if you want to.

and then the avatar's presence in the story could present a conflict for infinite. maybe despite him trying to act like he doesnt care, he like. hesitates. or lets the avatar go at some point. or something. and that gets him in trouble with eggman <- on that note. MORE CONFLICT BETWEEN EGGMAN AND INFINITE. im a little fuzzy on that aspect of the game but from what i can remember that never really goes anywhere. i want infinite being fickle about eggman's orders to MEAN SOMETHING!!!!!

also. i guess infinite could still ambiguously die at the end. but he'd definitely survive and show up in a later game, a la shadow. i need him to. my special boy.

anyways but going back to the avatar and infinite. i rlly think this could make both of them far more interesting than they are now. infinite rlly doesnt have like. an arc over the course of the story? hes just kinda. there. we get his backstory but in the present he kinda just. fights you a few times and then he dies. the end. this would actually give him something to do during the story, even if it was just like. brooding over why he let the avatar go or something.

and like..... i feel like forces SHOULD focus a lot on infinite? at least more so than the actual game did. like it doesnt have to be a shadow sa2 situation where like the whole game is centered around his story but i honestly... wouldnt be opposed to that either. like the war stuff is not that interesting im gonna be real.

also btw OBVIOUSLY the whole "sonic being imprisoned and tortured for 6 months with zero consequences" thing would be changed. that shit is so stupid and pointless. idk for sure if i'd just get rid of it outright or alter it, but probably the latter. cause like it IS actually an interesting scenario: how would these characters react to sonic being presumably dead? (long-term. 06 does not count LOL)

like that genuinely is a fascinating scenario to explore but i think one of the main things is that it would have to take place soon after it happened. none of this 6 months later amy wistfully going "sometimes i still dream sonic is with us....." shit, that is so dumb. WHAT is the point!!!

i'd want the story to start like fairly soon after sonic gets captured. and it wouldnt just be "sonic characters act as war generals" simulator. if we're doing this we are going ALL in. full focus on the characters' emotions and mental states which fluctuate over time. at the beginning they're hopeful but as more time passes with no sign of sonic and them losing more and more land to eggman, things start to crack. that could genuinely be so interesting to watch as long as it was treated with the actual seriousness it deserves instead of the cop-out edginess with no repercussions that the actual game has.

speaking of this part. TAILSSSSSSSS tails in forces was the wasted opportunity of the century. im gonna be real after having so much time to think about it, i really dont think that tails cowering after sonic was defeated was THAT egregious. i definitely think it could've been handled better, considering he had both beat chaos before and thought sonic had died before, BUT. tails is, at the end of the day, still a little kid. no matter how much hes grown and everything, thinking his big brother is fucking dead is probably still gonna fuck him up big time!!!

i also think that the idea of tails out on his own is SO fucking interesting and i am so mad every day that they barely did anything with that. maybe tails DID stay with everyone else at first. maybe after enough time everyone else presumed sonic to be dead and tails got upset because he knows sonic can't be dead, he always comes back, he did last time this happened right? and he left one day without telling anyone, attempting to try and find sonic himself.

and then he comes across omega all trashed up, and him fixing him, oh, idk, ACTUALLY MATTERS? (crazy i know) omega gets fully restored (plus some upgrades, of course) and it becomes the two of them against the world. throwing in a little craziness here but what if omega sticks with tails bcuz tails (who is definitely um. a lil more fucked up from everything) promises that hes directly interfering with eggman here, and that he'll actually allow omega to full on KILL eggman if/when they get the opportunity to. (tails is not fucking around) i just really need these two working together to be a thing.

rouge and shadow could also be MIA. i dont know if i'd want them as part of the larger resistance, they'd probably just be trying to help stuff on their own, but maybe at some point they'd realize that shit is really fucked this time and the only way they'll be able to stop eggman's reign of terror is by joining forces (lol) with the larger group. power of friendship and teamwork and all that, as is forces' main theme.

anyways. this is kind of all ive got swirling in my brain right now. i dont know how i'd tackle sonic's imprisonment itself. i definitely dont want to be in a position like the canon story where sonic should 100% be traumatized by what happened. bcuz i feel like thats probably a bit much lol... so maybe keep him imprisoned that whole time but get rid of the torture. idk, if we want to really get crazy with it we could throw in a whole thing where its like hey eggman why arent you just killing him? isnt that what you've wanted to do this whole time? funny how you're... keeping him alive like that. isnt easy bringing yourself to kill this kid you've basically watched grow up huh? even if he is your biggest enemy. idk that could result in way too much going on. but it could give a reason for sonic being kept alive + a reason why his imprisonment wasnt too crazy bad. just spitballing here.

ANYWAYS ANYWAYS. for real thats it I NEED TO GO TO BED. good god. maybe i'll rb this post at some point with more ideas if i have them. hell maybe i'll even write this whole thing someday..... regardless. GOOD NIGHT NEW YORK CITY!!!!!!!!!!

[eggman-is-fat-mkay]

Firstly, when you get this, you have to answer with 5 things you like about yourself, publicly. Then, send this ask to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable, positivity is cool)

firstly i think i am very sexy. i've been going to the gym a lot lately and it's paying off! my personal trainer says i need to eat more, and he's right, but i'm still making very respectable gains. i've been holding a plank (hands on floor, not elbows) for a little bit longer every night, just before i go to bed, for a few months now, and last night i set a new personal record of 25 minutes! i was cheating a little bit, shifting side to side and lifting one hand up to give my abs a break, and my form was more than a little sloppy, but still! 25 minutes straight!!!! (the secret is music, and wear loose clothing -- you overheat *super* fast) i've definitely got the six pack to show for it too. and as a certified gay dude and muscle enjoyer i gotta say it is a huge confidence boost to be low-key attracted to the guy i see in the mirror

second i'd say i am a pretty smart guy. most programmers are. i *love* being able to think of something, go "hey, i kinda wish that existed", and then just build it. and then... holy crap, that exists now. and i made it happen. and that's just such a cool feeling that i think everybody should get to experience.

if i don't tell anybody about my current project i'm gonna burst so here we go. i've been browsing a certain monosodium glutatmate related site lately that lets you upload images, put tags on them, and then search for them by their tags, and i've been somewhat disappointed with it. like most boorus, its search feature is quite limited -- you can specify the results have all of these tags, none of these tags, and one or more of these tags, but that's it. if you want to search for one of these two but not both, or one or more of these AND one or more of those, you're outta luck. i thought that was kinda disappointing. fortunately, i'm a programmer, and, as it turns out, this particular imageboard provides a full database dump containing the URL, rating, description, full list of tags, upvote/downvote/favorite count, image URL, etc., of every post on the site, all in one gigantic 3GB .csv file. practically begging me to make a better search function with it. it didn't take me long to whip up a script in rust that could parse that .csv file and, given a search string like "fluffy 1{ cat dog } 2-{ a b c }" (meaning "must be tagged fluffy, either cat OR dog but not both, and two or more of a, b, and c"), spit out a list of URLs of posts that matched. running the script on my laptop, it took about 12 seconds to search through the whole database, 30 if running on my phone. i also thought that was kinda disappointing and i could do better. so i started looking into ways to speed it up. i loaded the entire post database into RAM for faster access (my phone's 6GB of RAM was not thrilled about this, but it pulled through), i used the excellent rust library Rayon to search in parallel across all available CPU cores, i downloaded a second database dump from the site matching each tag name with its internal tag number (storing those instead of the names greatly reduced my RAM usage, not to mention integers are several times faster to search through than text strings), and i wrote a modified version of the search algorithm that took advantage of SIMD instructions to compare four integers at once on a single CPU core. all together, those improvements got my time for a single search down from 30 seconds to 1 second on my phone, and from 12 seconds to 50 milliseconds (that's a 20th of a second!) on my laptop. that's over a 200x improvement! isn't programming cool!!!! also the drag-race linear search algorithm i came up with for searching through the tags faster than a binary search was no doubt come up with long ago by someone much smarter than me, but i don't care i'm still proud of myself for having come up with it. i'm currently working on hooking that search algorithm up to a discord bot and in the process learning the intricacies of using postgresql to keep track of who's looking at what and what they want to see next. i'm learning a ton and it's super fun!

i'm no super-genius, don't get me wrong -- especially that SIMD part was mostly me throwing stuff at the wall and seeing what stuck -- but i definitely felt pretty cool after seeing the 10% performance improvement it got me :P

thirdly i can semi reliably get people to laugh. since i'm autistic this does not come naturally to me, but through many years of practice and a lotta misses i've figured out a system, there's three parts.

When someone asks a rhetorical question, answer it incorrectly. example

when someone else makes a joke, your job is to "yes, and". ex.: "eggman always likes sitting in the sun. like he's cold blooded. i bet he's a lizard." "it's true. zuckerberg's actually my cousin"

commit to the bit. pretend what you just said is true. what would that imply? zuckerberg's my cousin; i probably hang out with him a lot. is he normal for a lizard, and the rest of us are that good at pretending to be human, or is he weird even by our standards? what's lizardfolk physiology like? zuckerberg was acting really strangely in the 2018 facebook senate hearings -- he nearly blew our cover. hey, that's a joke right there. just keep these ideas going in your head and string them together with whatever you can think of. ex.: "zuckerberg's actually my cousin. he's a lot less awkward once the meat suit comes off. i don't know why he gets so nervous in front of humans. guess he's just camera shy. during the facebook senate hearings he was such a mess we had to spoon feed him lines through a transmitter in his fourth ear. i don't know how people didn't notice. swear that guy is gonna out us one day. don't know why they haven't given his meat suit to someone else yet. anyway i talked with him about the whole social media panopticon thing but he was kinda stubborn on that point." alternately: "is zuckerberg your cousin?" "no actually common misconception he's just about the only celebrity who isn't. the overlords keep trying to kill that rumor cause he's making us look bad. there was talk of installing a lizard as the head of facebook so we'd have control over social media but the higher-ups wouldn't sign off on it"

(i lied there's 4 parts) learn how to volley. "if zuck's your cousin, why don't you have a facebook account?" "zuck knows enough about me just being my cousin; i don't need him being able to look up all my browsing history and bring it up at family reunions." from here, if reaction is positive, you can run with the bit: "and you know he'd do it in the most well-meaning way too; he'd see me and immediately ask if i found those dildos i was searching for two weeks ago, and if not offer to help. bro has zero social awareness"

for skills i practiced in reddit comment sections, they translated to real life surprisingly well. of course, like anything, this takes practice. coming up with stuff like that on the fly did not come naturally to me at first, and unfortunately i can't really say for certain when or why that changed. i guess my advice would be hang around with people you think are good at making jokes, watch them, and try to figure out why what works, works, and when you think you've got something, try your hand with some friends. or you could take the autistic route of just saying something that wasn't intended to be funny, having people laugh, and laughing along with them while silently puzzling over why that was funny and how you can make a funny on purpose next time. something that's important to remember though is that if you can't think of anything, that's okay. jokes often make conversations more fun, but a lack of jokes does not often make them worse.

smart, handsome, and funny is a pretty good set, i gotta say. i'm not perfect -- no one is -- and i'm definitely not sure how many other people would agree with any of those three assessments of myself (my parents tell me i'm smart, but don't everyone's?), but i'm pretty happy with where i'm at life wise and the rate i'm progressing. you asked for five things i liked about myself; i'm a bit busy at the moment so i'll have to give you a rain check for the other two. but i will definitely be forwarding this ask to everyone i can think of who hasn't blocked me!

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REENTRY (10)

JUST GOT BACK FROM OUTER SPACE HAD TO PUT A COUPLE RAPPERS IN THEIR PLACE IT'S A SHAME - MUST'VE THOUGHT THAT I WAS PLAYIN' GAMES GET THE FUCK UP OUT MY WAY IT'S THE DAWN OF A NEW DAY WHO THE FUCK DID YOU SAY THAT YOU WERE ANYWAY? DIDN'T CATCH YOUR NAME ALL DAY, EVERY DAY I STAY BUSY GETTIN' PAID THEY TOLD ME STAY IN MY LANE I PAVED MYSELF A NEW HIGHWAY BITCHES CALL ME FRANK SINATRA BECAUSE I DID IT MY WAY YOU AND ME ARE NOT THE SAME THIS IS NOT A GAME SINCE THE BEGINNING I HAVEN'T BEEN PRETENDING I'VE BEEN TRANSCENDING ALL THE TRENDS THAT YOU'VE BEEN TRYIN' TO BE SETTING BUT PEOPLE KEEP ON FORGETTING 'CAUSE ALL THEY WANT IS THE BEST AND THEY WON'T SETTLE FOR THE NEXT BEST THING WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING? UH THERE'S NO COMPARISON BITCH, I'M SO MUCH BETTER THAN THEM I BET IF YOU COULD DO IT AGAIN THEY WOULD SAY YOU BLEW IT AGAIN I'M MUCH MORE TALENTED AND NOT TO MENTION HANDSOMER BUT I'LL GO EASY ON YOU 'CAUSE IT'S GOTTA BE EMBARRASSIN' THESE HATERS ARE ALLERGIC TO MY SUCCESS - PASS THE ACETAMINOPHEN SHE TOOK HER TOP OFF IN THE GARAGE - I JUST PARKED MYSELF A COUPLE MCLARENS IN IT THE CAVALCADE THAT FOLLOWS ME - YOU'D PROBABLY THINK THAT I WAS PRESIDENT OR SOMETHIN' I GOT SO MANY BITCHES NUMBERS IN MY PHONE I KEEP SWITCHIN' BITCHES' DIGITS BY ACCIDENT THE ICE ON MY CHAIN SO OUT COLD YOU'D THINK THAT BY NOW I'D'VE BEEN FROST BITTEN SHIT I WAS THINKIN' ABOUT IT MYSELF I SHOULD PROBABLY RUN FOR PRESIDENT OR SOMETHING SHE STRIPPIN' - HER TOP OFF - SHE POPPIN' A MOLLY - SHE DOWN A WHOLE BOTTLE OF VODKA WITHOUT ME I DON'T KNOW WHAT THESE HOS WOULD DO WITHOUT ME I DON'T KNOW WHY ALL THESE HATERS ARE DOUBTING ALL I KNOW IS THEY KEEP DROPPIN' MY NAME 'CAUSE THEY LOW-KEY STILL FEEL SOME TYPE OF WAY ABOUT ME THEY MUST NOT HAVE A LOT TO TALK ABOUT IF THE ONLY THING THAT THEY KEEP TALKIN' ABOUT IS ME I TAKE MY SIDE BITCHES SHOPPING AND DON'T EVEN ASK THEM HOW MUCH IT BE COSTIN' ME SHIT I BE FEELIN' LIKE DAZ DILLINGER THE WAY I BE IN THE CUT FLOSSIN' SHE SENT ME TITTY PICS BUT I DIDN'T EVEN ASK HER FOR THEM AND I NEVER SAVED HER NUMBER SHIT I HAD TO ASK HER HER NAME AGAIN I DON'T WANNA HEAR ABOUT IT IF IT AIN'T A DOLLAR BILL I'M SO FULL OF MYSELF, BUT I AIN'T GOT MY FILL I'M JUST BEING REAL WITH YOU THEY SAY MONEY IS TIME LIFE'S AN EXPENSIVE GAME, THAT'S WHY MY TWO CENTS COST A DIME I'M OFF THE WEED AGAIN I'M BEING A LITTLE BIT DISOBEDIENT I GOTTA BE HONEST I START TO FEEL LIKE A COMEDIAN BUT AIN'T NOTHIN' FUNNY 'BOUT MY MONEY EXCEPT THE FACT THAT I STAY LAUGHIN' ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK WITH ALL THE CHECKS I'M DEPOSITING THE TELLERS WILL TELL YOU I GET PAID YOU CAN CHECK THE RECEIPTS THE LADIES WILL TELL YOU I'M THE MAN, SAY MY NAME WHEN YOU SKEET YOU CAN TELL WHICH ONE OF THESE HOS IS MINE BRAND NEW PURSE EVERY WEEK YOU CAN TELL WHICH WAY THE TREND'S GONNA GO THIS TIME 'CAUSE THEY'RE JUST TRYIN' TO BE ME I BE BREAKING BAD WITH THIS RAP SHIT I BE STRENGTHENING MY CALVES WITH THIS RAP SHIT I BE COPPIN' BIGGER BAGS TAKIN' NAMES AND KICKIN' ASS POLISHING MY FLOWS LIKE BRASS IN THIS RAP SHIT EVEN THOUGH NOBODY ASKED IN THIS RAP SHIT STOLE THE GAME, WON'T GIVE IT BACK IN THIS RAP SHIT GOT THE KIND OF SWAGGER RAPPERS WANNA IMITATE I CAN'T RELATE THAT'S WHY THEY ALWAYS TRY AND CAP IN THIS RAP SHIT I BE ALL ABOUT MY BAG - FUCK THESE BITCHES I AIN'T EVEN CHECK THE TAG WHEN I BUY SHIT I BE POPPIN' MOLLY IN MY MAZI WITH MY GLIZZY WITH ME NOTHIN' SILLY I'M YOUR DAD IN THIS RAP SHIT HIT A LICK AND THEN IT'S BACK TO THE BUSINESS YOU CAN EITHER SUCK MY DICK OR GET DEBTED YOU COULD LEARN A THING OR TWO BUT IT'S REALLY UP TO YOU AIN'T NO WAY AROUND BUT THROUGH IN THIS RAP SHIT