#I got introduced to an agent through a mutual relation

[glowinglights]

Getting rejected from this publishing company hurts way worse than getting cheated on multiple times by different people imma be real with yall

[boldlyvoid]

Wheels Up

Characters: Spencer Reid, Reader (Y/N), Aaron Hotchner, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Savannah Hayes, Emily Prentiss, Elle Greenaway, Tara Lewis, Jennifer Jareau, Matt Simmons, Luke Alvez

Summary: JJ goes on maternity leave, Spencer falls in love with her replacement that he's supposed to be mentoring, Emily Prentiss and Elle Greenaway work a case together that brings Simmons and Alvez in for help...

Warnings: Genius!Reader, mutual pining, idiots in love, drinking, star gazing, lots of fluff, mentions of past assault, grooming, drug addiction, spencer's trauma, Abductions, Rape, Murder (typical canon violence)

word count: 9.4K

a/n: this is for @starry-eyed-spence and @simmonsmilf CM fanfiction week, Day One: Favorite Character... only I couldn't pick just one.

To say Spencer fell in love at the least opportune time was a bit of an understatement. Everyone he’s ever come close to admitting his love to has either left him or died. Now he’s stuck with loving someone in secret, keeping it to himself and hoping that one day she’ll love him back.

He fell in love with a co-worker once again… which wasn’t the worst thing, office romances happen and it’s quite frankly all Rossi’s fault that they even had to worry about fraternization policies. The part that makes liking Y/N so difficult is that he’s supposed to be her mentor, he’s 5 years older than her, and if he was to ever make a move she would feel inclined to reciprocate in order to keep her job because that’s the unfortunate truth behind office relationships with significant differences in positions.

And worst of all… she doesn’t like him that way at all. She’s called him the brother she always needed, a best friend, the best mentor ever. She wasn’t interested in him in the slightest.

“And why would she be?” He’s said this to everyone who knew about his crush on her. “I’m old and boring and she’s so cool?”

But he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that every time she asked him to hang back to help her file something, or when they would buddy up in hotel rooms to discuss cases all night and end up down some star trek rabbit hole instead, every time he talked to her she was falling in love with him right back.

It once again all circles back to Rossi, if it wasn’t for him, Spencer wouldn’t even know her. She wouldn’t have ever been introduced to the unit, he wouldn’t be attached to her at the hip and he probably wouldn’t be as happy as he is with her in his life. Even if she wasn’t his girlfriend.

He’ll never forget the day Rossi asked him to meet her, to help her settle in…

“Spencer, can I talk to you for a minute?” Rossi called him into his office.

He sighed, putting his book down and walking up the stairs to his office. He closed the door behind himself and smiled awkwardly, “what’s up?”

“Sit,” he gestures to the chairs in front of his desk, where Spencer pulls one out and proceeds to sit down, anxiously. “As you know, both Kate and JJ will be out of the field in the next few months to have their babies and we need to bring someone in to fill the void until they return, so I reached out to the academy to see if they have any up and coming Dr. Reid like agents that they could loan us.”

“Why?” Spencer laughs at the choice of words.

“Well, honestly, why get new 2 agents when we could have two Reid’s? JJ will be back after a month or 2, it’s better to have more brains than brawn.”

“So they found someone and you want me to be their chaperone?” Spencer clues in. “Who are they?”

“Y/N Y/L/N, she’s a wonderful agent, but she’s pretty quiet, I don’t know much about her personally.” Rossi prefaces. “She’s a genius, high IQ like yours and just a plethora of knowledge inside that mind of hers. You’ll like her.”

“Alright,” he nods. “When do they start?”

“When JJ’s water breaks, but I’d like you to meet them and maybe even have them shadow you for a day?” Rossi asks, “I’ve actually arranged for you both to get dinner at a friend's restaurant?”

“Is this an arranged date or purely business? Don’t send me in there blind,” he worries. “I need at least a week's prep before I go on a date again.”

“It’s not a date, kid,” Rossi laughs. “She's just a lot like you were when I met you, and I know from watching you all these years that it’s not easy to do it alone, so can you just walk them through it?”

“Of course.”

That first dinner Rossi set up for them was more exquisite than either of them prepared for.

They spent the whole night discussing dissertations and their independent journeys through becoming a genius. He understood perfectly why Rossi and the Academy would think she was a lot like him, she was a genius, but she was awkward. It took a while for her to break out of her shell and open up, but by the end of the night, he already knew they were going to be friends.

“So,” she smirks, “would you mind telling me honestly how hard this job is?”

“Why?”

She sighs, “I’ve heard a lot about Thee Doctor Reid and how you were the youngest hired to the BAU and all the shit you’ve been through.”

“What are the rumours these days?” He awkwardly smiles back, rolling his eyes slightly.

“That you were brain dead in a cemetery from an overdose and yet you’re so smart you came back from the dead to kill the unsub and escape…” she looks more and more disappointed in the rumour as she tells it.

His tongue hits the roof of his mouth as he opens it to speak, making a tsk noise as he shakes his head. “Well, I did OD but it was the unsubs main personality that resuscitated me.”

“Holy shit,” she whispers.

He nods, “what about you? I’m sure you have a reputation based on a rumour?”

She presses her lips together the way he always did, just as awkward. She sighs, huffing the air out of her nose and looking fed up. “I was groomed and assaulted by an older boy who then told kids I had a stalkerish crush on him so if I was to ever tell anyone what happened, then no one would believe me.”

“I’m so sorry,” Spencer knows the words don’t make up for what happened. “I’m guessing that’s why you wanted to get into profiling?”

She nods, “I got away with some PTSD and trust issues, most girls go through much worse… they deserve someone who gets it to look into their cases.”

Spencer nods. “That’s how I felt after my kidnapping too. It took a while for me to look at crime scene photos and not think about how they felt, and wonder why I lived when so many die?”

“I’ve never been a religious person,” she prefaces. “But I do believe we are here for a reason. Whether you choseto be here after your last life or this is some learning opportunity, or God is actually real? And you’re supposed to do good.”

“In narcotics anonymous, they reference god a lot, it’s helpful for the addicts, but I never get into it,” he opens up with her more than he’s ever opened up with any friend. “If my Devine purpose is to suffer in order to relate to those I’m supposed to help that’s a load of bullshit… honestly, I can get pretty angry thinking about why I’ve gone through what I’ve gone through doing this job, but it’s not as bad as what happened to me growing up, and it leads me to believe that I probably wouldn’t have had an easy time no matter how I live.”

She nods, “I know, I get that.”

“Sorry,” he snaps out of it. “I didn’t mean to trauma dump on you.”

“It’s exactly what I asked for actually,” she reminds him with a soft smile. “If you can still come to work every day, after all that, you must be incredibly strong— and if I’m anything like you the way people say I am, I guess I can do it too.”

He had no idea she would end up being his best friend.

She shadowed him just once in the office, picked up everything right off the bat and immediately made a name for herself in the unit. Derek tried multiple names on her before one stuck, and they knew it stuck when even Hotch called her Baby Genius.

She brought a different knowledge base to the team, similar to Spencers but visibly younger. She fit in with the crowds of kids they had to interview, she understood why kids reacted the way they did to trauma and abuse, and she was still a kid at heart. It was the reason Spencer fell for her.

She allowed him to feel free again. They went out together outside of work, going to events he always wanted to go to with a partner but never had a chance. She loved all the same things as him, and she takes him to places he’d never imagine enjoying before her.

Like laser tag… that was an afternoon he’ll never forget with her.

When JJ went into labour, that’s when Y/N started full time and Hotch hired Tara Lewis in the same week. The team barely had time to adjust to being undermanned before they were restocked.

Joining Spencer every morning for every case, she waited out front of her apartment for him to pick her up most mornings, sticking to his side throughout the long days and nights until he drove her home again. Even at work, they were partnered up for everything: heading to the M.E. together, bouncing facts back and forth at the precinct, playing good cop bad cop with perverts, and her personal favourite… Making the geoprofile.

And Spencer liked doing that part with her as well. Because it typically meant they were completely alone in a room, spreading out a map and leaning in close to each other as they placed every sticker and marker. Brushing hands, bumping shoulders, longing glances as they made connections… he also just liked to watch her hands move.

She was delicate and careful and precise… and he was falling in love with everything about her as the days went by.

Everyone on the team had noticed. It was really hard not to when they’ve all known Spencer for almost 11 years now. He was so different with her in his life, he was happy and giddy and dressing even better than before. His hair was perfect and he was glued to Y/N’s side. Or she was glued to his.

Even though they were mentally similar, physically they were polar opposites. Y/N wore all black and was a lot more outgoing than they expected. Rossi thought she’d be quiet… But she was constantly talking. To Spencer, to other officers, to witnesses, she never stopped talking and starting conversations, and thank god she did because she’s cracked 4 cases that way.

The biggest surprise the team learned about her happened on a case in Florida, a shooting in a local park in broad daylight with lots of witnesses meant the whole team was on the boardwalk asking questions. She went out to do her thing, talking to the local skaters, asking them if they knew anything but they didn’t want to cooperate.

They were too cool for the feds.

“Can I see your board?” She asks, “if I do some tricks will you answer some questions for me and Doctor Reid?”

“Knock yourself out,” one of the boys laughs as he hands her his board.

She hands Spencer her gun and shoots him a wink before taking off to do a few tricks. The whole team watches in awe then as Y/N showed off. Cruising along the halfpipe effortlessly like she was a professional.

“Okay Tony Hawk,” Morgan teases her, “where did that come from?”

“Skateboarding is easy, it’s just physics,” she shrugs. “I can figure skate too…”

“What do you want to know?” The boy takes his board back. “We always see some sketchy guys around here.”

Morgan pats Y/N on the back with a smile, applauding her ability to get anyone to open up before leaving her to take the statement.

“Agent?” One of the girls pulls her aside just before they are about to leave, “how did you do that kickflip? I’ve been trying to learn and the boys won't help me.”

“Sure thing,” she takes the girl's board and demonstrates a kickflip first.

“So, you see as I start the kickflip I bend my knees?” She shows her another kickflip all while explaining it. “Much like the with an ollie, I’m building pressure so I can apply it to the tail, making the board pop. The one thing that makes this trick different from the ollie is that instead of sliding my foot up, I just flick my toe out to the right of the board, by doing this, the board flips in a 360-degree motion.

She demonstrates again and it’s another flawless kickflip, and a huge smile on her face as Spencer watches her.

“How fast the board spins depends on how much force I put into it when I flick it out. As soon as the board flips in a full 360, your feet should connect and drive the board back to the ground.”

She hands the board back to the girl, “your turn.”

She takes a deep breath and shakes her nerves out before taking off on her board, looping around and carefully bending her knees, she follows every step and it’s a flawless kickflip.

“Flawless!!” Y/N claps. “Those boys better watch out, you’re a natural.”

“Thank you,” she wraps her arms around Y/N and gives her a hug, “it’s taken me so long to be able to do that, you’re so cool.”

“You’re welcome,” she smiles. “Good luck out there.”

She waves as she takes off on her board, leaving Y/N with a smile as she turns to Spencer. “I miss being that age and thinking everything is so cool.”

“You are really cool,” he agrees. Smiling softly as a blush fills his cheeks. “You’re always surprising me. Is there anything you can’t do?”

She laughs, “yeah the one thing I want to do the most.”

“Which is?”

She sighs, “maybe I’ll tell you someday.”

—

He’s sitting beside Penelope and Savannah, watching Derek and Y/N get drinks for what’s left of the group as the night drags on.

“When are you going to tell her?” Savannah asks.

“What?” Spencer pretends he doesn’t know what she’s talking about.

“You have a crush on the new girl…” she pokes his cheek as he blushes and gives it away. “Tell her, what’s the worst that can happen?”

“She could feel forced to say yes because I’m a supervisory special agent and she isn’t and she wants to keep her job so she feels like she needs to,” Spencer worries. “I want her to like me back because she fell for me and I want her to initiate it because then I’ll know it’s not just a power dynamic issue.”

“Have you tried asking her, genius?” Penelope teases. “Because if you asked her then you’d know she has a crush on you and she’s afraid you’ll turn her down because you’re an SSA and she isn’t.”

“When did you hear that?”

Penelope pretends to lock up her lips and throw away the key, making Savannah laugh loud enough to get Derek's attention at the bar. When he and Y/N return, that’s when the questions start.

“What’s so funny?”

“Nothing,” Spencer gets up and leaves the booth, walking out towards the smokers' exit at the back of the bar, getting a moment of semi-fresh air to think about what Penelope said.

“Spence?” She calls to him from the door, “are you okay? Can I come out here?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Sorry, I needed some air, it’s nothing.”

“Do you need a hug? I read it helps the most when people are stressed out,” she plays it off with a shrug.

“So you do have a crush on me?”

“She told you?” Her face lights with fury, “what the fuck, Penelope?”

“She didn’t mean to,” he tries to cover it up. “It was only brought up because I have feelings for you as well.”

Her eyes widen, her brows raise and her mouth slowly opens as she freezes.

“Y/N?”

She blinks a few times and shakes her head, “impossible. There’s no way.”

He laughs, “I’ll take that hug now?”

She lunges for him and wraps her arms around him so tight. Breathing him in, her hands wander his back as she takes in every second if it and he does the same. He can’t believe she’s that close to him, her hair smells nice and she’s so soft in his arms.

It’s quiet outside, they can hear the music behind the door, the people in the ally talking and the crickets in the night. It’s just them outside, holding each other in the smoking section with smiles on their faces, amazed that it’s finally happening.

“Can we keep this between us?” She whispers into his ear. “Just for a bit? I don’t want to go through all the paperwork and have to separate in the field if it doesn’t work out?”

“Wait,” Spencer pulls back. “Are you asking me to be your boyfriend?”

She nods, “well yeah isn’t that what happens when two people have a mutual crush? They date?”

“Okay,” he smiles, staring at her lips and then flicking his gaze back to hers with a blush. “I have more than a crush on you, I really, really like you.”

“Prove it,” she teases, “let's go on a real date soon?”

“You know what, let’s get out of here. I have something I want to show you,” he takes her hand and waits for her to nod.

“Take my lead okay? You don’t feel good and you’re going to wait outside while I say goodbye,” she has a plan right away

“After you,” he holds the door open for her and lets her inside first.

—

“I’m taking Spencer home, he’s not doing well,” she’s a much better actress than Spencer expected, patting his back and watching him leave the bar before her like she asked him to do. “He’s really anxious?”

Penelope looks worried, “oh no, I fucked up. I told him you like him.”

She just shrugs, “if he didn’t know that already then I guess he’s not as smart as he pretends to be.”

“See,” Derek looks at Savannah. “I told you everyone else also thinks he’s faking being that smart.”

“Shut up,” she shoves him and turns her attention back to Y/N. “Go make him feel better, he’ll like your company.”

“I’ll see you guys at work on Monday,” she waves them goodbye, surprised they bought it as she rushes her way back outside to Spencer.

He’s already in his car, engine running and waiting for her with a smile. “Come on,” he hurries her inside and is taking off down the road before she even has her seatbelt on yet.

“What’s the rush, Spence? It’s only 1 in the morning I’m sure tones of places are open still?” She teases.

“You’re going to like this, I used to go here all the time when I started with the bureau,” he explains, leaving the main road to take a back root, and eventually they’re driving on gravel.

“If you’re taking me here to murder me this is a dumb way to do it because they all know I left with you,” she teases. “At least when you go to get rid of me, do yourself a favour and dig 6 one-foot holes instead of one 6 foot hole…”

He laughs, “would you really give your murderer tips?”

She nods, “my goal would be to piss him off so much he either lets me go or murders me quickly. I don’t want to go through all the pain.”

“It’s not fun, that’s for sure,” he shrugs it off but she knows it hits too hard.

“I’m sorry,” she whispers, reaching her hand out for his to hold by the gear shift. “I think you’re like the strongest guy in the world, you know that, right?”

“Why?” He asks as if that's a preposterous thing to say.

“I think if I got kidnapped and tortured at 24 I wouldn’t still be working in the FBI,” she admits. “I barely made it through the academy, I know this job is intense but I don’t think I could handle being in that situation.”

“If it’s up to me,” Spencer squeezes her hand tighter and brings it to his lips for a kiss. “You’ll never experience anything like that.”

He’s so good at making her feel safe that she almost believes he has the power to do that. He would do anything and everything to move fate for her safety.

He turns down another back road then, around the edge of a lake and towards a clearing. He follows old tire tracks and parks by the dock. “I found this spot one night on a random drive to clear my head.”

“I thought you hated driving?” She quizzes him.

He shrugs, “I like to drive at night when no one else is on the road because then I don’t really have to worry about anyone else. I hate driving because I can’t always anticipate other drivers' movements. If I could read minds, then I’d drive more.”

“Valid,” she nods, “now why is this such a special spot that you needed to show me right away?”

“Well, I have a telescope and it’s been in my trunk for the last 13 years so that every time I come here, I can look up at the moon…”

“You brought me here to look at the moon with you?” She swoons, “that’s so cute.”

“You think?” He looks like his heart is doing the same swelling as hers.

She gets out of the car before she can lean over and kiss him the way she wants to. In his trunk, he does have a telescope, and a blanket, which they set out on the dock and sit upon.

The sound of the lake, the loons in the distance, frogs and crickets and music travelling from somewhere down the lake. The moon was big, the stars were amazing, and this was the closest she has ever seen them. It's amazing, and of course, it was Spencer showing her everything.

He was everything to her.

And it didn’t take long for him to become everything to her either.

Joining the BAU was a dream to many at the academy, but Y/N never thought that she would get the job, overjoyed that she did. They were a family unit; they got the job done, they protected each other, and it was a wonderful environment to be a part of. She obviously liked Spencer the most out of everyone. He took her in, he made her feel comfortable and safe and she opened up more with him than she has with anyone she’s labelled a “best friend” in the past.

She liked everything about him. The way he talked with his hands, how his sweater, vest, shirt and tie always match, his gun looks a little out of place on his belt, like it’s too big for him, but it’s cute. His hair’s been getting longer too, sometimes he wears glasses and sometimes if she’s lucky, he doesn’t shave every day.

She can’t take her eyes off him when he’s busy and won't notice, just to then move her focus away when he stared at her. She only wishes she could see the way he stares at her in awe, because if it’s anything like how she looks at him, he must love her.

She keeps her hand in his, trading the telescope back and forth in turns, her face was close to his every time they switched and she kept getting bolder with each exchange. Letting Spencer look, she kept her face close to his, kissing his cheek softly as soon as he was busy peering up at the moon.

He turned to her with a gasp, “what was that for?”

“You’re cute,” she shrugs. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while.”

“How long?” He teases, leaning in closer and kissing her nose to make her laugh.

“Since you dropped me off at my house after that first dinner…”

“So this is me,” she nods out the window, “thank you for the ride, I appreciate not having to be in an Uber all by myself.”

“Anytime you need a ride, you can give me a call?” He asks. “Seeing as we’ll be going to the same place anyway.”

She nods with a smile, “I’d love that, do you live close to here?”

“Just up the street,” he nods. “So we could carpool?”

“I can drive some days if you want?” She asks, “I know you mostly take the subway, and I know that because I’ve seen you reading on there before.”

He can’t help but smile, “so you never thought to say hello?”

“No,” she shakes her head, “you looked peaceful, and I’m sure you don’t get many moments like that in your line of work.”

He sighed, knowing she was right. “If it ever gets to be too much for you, please never feel like you have to pretend to be okay? None of us expect you to be stone cold, none of us are either. The job gets to us, just tell me if it gets to be too much?”

She looks from his lips back to his eyes and over again, “thanks, Spencer.”

He does the same to her, “anytime. Should I walk you to your door?”

She shakes her head, “that’s okay you’ve done enough for me tonight.”

“Fair enough,” he laughs. “Have a good night Y/N.”

“You too, Spencer,” she smiles before she exits his car, smiling at him from her porch before he drives away.

“So it’s been mutual this whole time?” He shakes his head at the absurdity. “I’ve been so lonely for so long and then I found you and you make me feel like I don’t need to be alone anymore.”

“You complete me too,” she makes one more comment before connecting their lips.

It’s like the world stops then. It’s silent and serene and everything she thought kissing Spencer Reid would be.

She pulls back with a smirk, “oh no.”

“What?” He worries.

“I’m going to want to kiss you all the time now…”

“Good,” he mumbles the words against her lips before reconnecting them.

—

At work on Monday, it’s very hard for them to look at each other without remembering that they’ve kissed. Spencer’s practically glowing with admiration for her that he gives it all away. He’s overly happy, offering to do things for others, standing way too close to her and bringing her coffee all morning.

“Okay, pretty boy,” Derek takes him by the scruff of the neck and redirects him into his office. “What’s going on with you today, I know you’re not this happy for JJ’s return?”

“What do you mean?”

“Did you get laid or something?”

Spencer laughs, “no, you know I don’t get laid. You actually remind me of that fact quite often.”

“You’re so happy I’m worried you’ve moved to crack,” he says it. “Okay, you were acting weird on Friday, you missed brunch on Sunday and now you’re waaay too happy.”

“I’m not on drugs again,” Spencer assures him. “I’m just letting myself enjoy my time with Y/N, if she falls in love with me in the meantime that would also be nice.”

“Oh, so you’re doing this to get laid,” Derek teases him again. “That’s good, I’m sorry if I triggered you by asking, but I had to make sure you’re okay.”

“No, no,” he places his hands on Derek's shoulders, “thank you for caring.”

“Always—“

“Guys!” They hear Hotch yelling from the bullpen, cutting the tender moment short, saving Spencer from spilling the truth.

Rushing back, he sits beside Y/N at the briefing room table. “We have a bad one,” Emily Prentiss of all people walks in the door, followed by Elle Greenaway.

“We’ll have time to mingle in a minute, right now there is a woman who needs our help,” he announces.

Spencer quickly reads over the case files, recognizing Elles handwritten notes, she was a private investigator now. “With Penelope’s help, I’ve been able to set up alerts in College chatrooms in the area so that I can help to missing and assaulted women right away.”

“She’s alerted when someone reports a missing woman and she has advertisements for people to reach out to her for help,” Penelope explained.

“I’ve been working on these cases for the last 9 years,” Elle announces. “This morning Aasia Desai called me saying her sister Bahni never showed up for lunch and it’s not like her, we know she went clubbing last night and so far Penelope’s tracked her down an ally and then she’s gone.”

“Her parents are British diplomats so Interpol has asked me to join, luckily I was just in Ontario so it was a short trip over,” Emily adds. “JJ will be here in half an hour for her first day back, and we will celebrate when we can, but I see we have some new faces here?”

“Special Agent Y/N Y/L/N,” she waves, still glued to Spencer’s side. “I’ve heard a lot about you both from Doctor Reid.”

“Doctor Tara Lewis,” she stands and shakes Emily’s hand, and then Elles.

“So it says here that the first missing case was in 2006 just after you left the BAU?” Spencer changes the subject before anyone can pry into why he would be telling her about the women who worked there before her.

“I did,” Elle nods. “I was too late for her, by the time her parents realized she was missing and called me in the case was cold. I started this as a way to get ahead of it.”

“How long has she been missing?” Tara asks.

“She was last seen at 1:07 this morning,” Elle confirms. “We have 25 hours, maybe, to beat the odds.”

“Reid,” Hotch cuts in, “I would like you and Elle to go check out the street she was last seen on, find any private cameras or anyone who might have seen something.”

He turns to Y/N who just shrugs in silence; “it’s fine.”

“Tara and Derek, I’d like you to interview Aasia when she and JJ get here, Garcia can you do a deep dive into Bahni’s spending and academic records?”

“Sure thing,” she starts clicking away on her computer immediately.

“And Y/N,” Elle looks at her. “I need you to go over the footage of the man who followed her to the alley and get familiar with his face. We’re using you as the face of the investigation to hopefully draw the unsub out.”

“How would she be able to do that alone?” Spencer gets defensive, a way he used to with JJ when she was the media liaison.

“If she goes on the news and makes Bahni seem like a person while describing the unsub as someone who can help solve the case, it will draw him out,” Emily explains for Hotch, who is glaring at Spencer for second-guessing the plan already.

“And she’s college-age,” Elle adds. “If that’s who he’s been going after all this time he will want to come in and talk IF he can talk to her.”

She places her hand on his leg under the table, “it’s a good plan.”

“It is,” Hotch agrees.

“What do you not have a saying to replace wheels up when they stay in town?” Elle teases him.

“Wheels away?” Emily joins her, “that works?”

“just get to work,” Hotch tries not to smirk at them.

Spencer stands up to leave with Elle, “can I just talk to Spencer before he leaves?” She carefully asks Hotch.

“Make it quick,” he agrees reluctantly and lets her follow him down to his desk.

Spencer rests his hands on the back of his desk chair, holding it tightly in an attempt to calm himself down.

“I’m going to be fine,” she assures him. “I don’t think the guy on the tape took her, we’d see him leave if he did.”

“Unless he lives in the alley,” Spencer combats. “Can you ask Penelope to do a background check on all the cars coming in and out of the campus and that street between midnight at 2 am?”

She nods, placing her hand on his gently. “Good luck out there, okay?”

He nods, “it’s been 2 days they’re going to know by the end of the week.”

She laughs, “so be it.”

He says fuck it right then and there, wrapping her up in a hug and kissing the top of her head as the team watches in the briefing room. “I’ll see you later.”

“Yes you will,” she smacks his side as he lets her go. “If you’re going to make a scene at least give me a real kiss.”

“Hmm,” he teases. “No cause then I’d have to sign some paperwork and I’ve got to go…” he starts to back away.

“Coward,” she teases.

He just shrugs, meeting Elle by the door and heading towards the elevators in silence.

She doesn’t ask, not even when they get to the garage or inside the SUV. They’re driving down the road for maybe 2 minutes when Elle finally brings it up. “So—”

“What do you want to know?”

“It's that easy now? What happened to you?” She teases. “You’re so different from the baby Spence I left.”

“Well you missed my drug problem, my dad being a possible child molester, getting shot in the knee, getting shot in the neck, my girlfriend dying, and now my mom might have Alzheimer's so you know… I had to grow up a bit,” he lays it all out for her to ask any question she wants.

“Why don’t you ever call me? I would have been there for you through anything,” she reminds him.

“I know that,” he reaches over for her hand, “thank you. But I was a big fan of suffering in silence… and now I have Y/N and she makes me feel normal?”

“That’s good, you deserve some fraction of normal in your life and she’s really cute,” Elle smiles back at him before returning her focus to the road. “How old is she?”

“27,” he smiles. “She’s the best.”

“You love her,” Elle notices it.

He presses his lips together to fend off a smile as he nods, “I think I do.”

“Tell her, you deserve to hear that someone loves you back.”

—

She’s anxiously tapping her foot as she waits for the elevator to arrive with the suspect, Rossi standing just behind her. Only 15 minutes after being on the news, the man that was in the security footage contacted them. Making his way over for a voluntary interview.

He looks Y/N up and down with a smile, “I heard you were looking for me.”

“I sure was,” she plays along with it, smiling and making him think she’s interested as well. “I knew you’d get the message, we just need all the help we can get right now.”

“Of course,” he has his ego stroked so well that they can roll with it.

“Would you mind coming with me and Agent Rossi to talk about everything you saw?” She batts her lashes at him, really selling it.

“Sure,” he follows them down the hall.

Rossi opens the door and lets them in first, letting her get him settled and a glass of water. “So you can tell me everything from that night?”

“Sure,” he nods, explaining his taxi job, his run for the night and his alibi.

“So why did you step back into the doorway?” She asks as she sits in front of him. Straight-faced as she catches him off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You stepped out of the way to let her pass and then followed her, she made no motion to say she wanted your services, so I’m just wondering why you would follow her before she disappeared?”

“Huh,” he suddenly feels played and his personality switches. “I thought this was just a chat?”

“I’m simply asking you questions? If you don’t have answers that makes you suspicious. An innocent person would have given me an answer,” she fights back.

“She’s right, you got very defensive very fast,” Rossi finally speaks up.

He shakes his head with a huff. “I was going to ask if she needed a ride, she looked pretty messed up. And then some guy came over and wrapped his arm around her and they walked off. They seemed to know one another. I thought she was safe in his hands.”

Only his tone doesn’t match the words. He sounds jealous— It’s not like she would have been a large tab, he wasn’t jealous because he lost a customer. No, he’s jealous like someone stepped in and prevented him from snatching an easy victim.

“Fair enough,” she pretends to believe him. “Thank you for your cooperation.”

“I can go now?” He changes right back to confused.

She nods, “I’ll escort you down if you’d like?”

“Thanks,” he stands and follows her to the door where Rossi stops her.

“Are you sure?”

She nods, “I’ll be back up shortly.”

She catches up with him by the elevators, “did you have to drive far to get here?” She makes small talk.

“Not really,” he shakes it off. “I like your necklace.”

She touches her necklace and her face drops, “thanks.”

“Necklaces are my favourite.”

“You don’t wear any?” She notices in the form of a question.

He shakes his head as the elevator opens at the ground level. “I think they’re nice gifts.”

She nods along, pretending that didn’t set off every ret alert and alarm in her mind, “well here you are. Thanks again for all the help.”

“No problem,” he goes to leave, turning to stop and block the doors from closing. “If you want, later tonight I can show you everything I saw at the alley?”

“Yeah, sure,” she agrees with no plan to go.

“8 pm? At Cafe Linda?”

“See you then,” she agrees and he steps back letting the door close and then she loses her cool.

Feverishly smashing the floor 6 button, and begging to make it back up to Hotch to tell him everything. But she also just wants to cry but she holds it in as she makes it to their floor matching past Rossi and right into the briefing room.

“He may not be our unsub but that man is a creep,” she announces. “He not only complimented my necklace but he asked me to come to the alley tonight so he can walk me through what he saw.”

“You’re not going,” Hotch announces.

“I didn’t plan to,” she snaps. “I think we need to look into him because he’s either giving little girls necklaces to keep them quiet or he’s taking necklaces after he kills women.”

“Kathy’s parents said she was in a necklace when she went missing,” Emily adds. “His connection to this case and being at NYU right before she went missing gives us enough probable cause for a search warrant.”

Hotch sighs, “fine. I’ll call a judge, you and Y/N can go and search his place.”

“So shouldn’t we arrest him before he leaves the building?” Morgan asks.

“He’s still in the garage, I’ve let the security know to stop him and arrest him at the gate,” Garcia adds, listening in and planning in advance.

“Thank you,” Hotch smiles at her, “you’re always reading my mind.”

Garcia smiles back at him, “always, sir.”

“Okay, let’s go,” she looks at Emily and waiting for her to turn to leave the room.

“Let’s,” she motions for Y/N to take the lead and follows.

The drive to his house is so weird… she doesn’t quite know how to talk to Emily, knowing only slightly about her and her knowing nothing about Y/N.

“So how long have you and Spencer been dating?” Her first question just gets right to the point.

She laughs awkwardly, “3 days…”

“Oh…”

She hums as she nods along, looking out the window and avoiding Emily’s eye contact. “It’s new, we’re both pretty infatuated with each other but we’re taking it slower than most people because I’m afraid to let my feelings change how I do the job.”

“Makes sense,” Emily replies. Her voice is so sweet, she has an aura of calm that follows her and lets Y/N feel safe. She gets why Spencer said she was his best friend on the team before her.

“The necklace comment… why did it make you so wary of this guy?”

“When I was in middle school a guy gave me a necklace while he was grooming me,” she whispers. Looking out the window and pretending it doesn’t bother her now. “It’s fine, I don’t have it anymore, but I knew this guy had that same vibe.”

Emily put her hand out, letting Y/N interlock their fingers and hold it. “I know I just met you, but you’re family now. I’m here if you’re ever suddenly not fine with it anymore…”

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Let’s get this fucker.”

—

By the time the warrant went through, Spencer and Elle had joined them to search the first suspect's house while Emily left to help the rest of the team with suspect two. Tracking all the license plates in the area like Spencer suggested lead them to a Chinese food delivery driver in the area.

That didn’t stop Y/N from destroying her suspect's house. They tore the house apart, searching every nook and cranny for any answer that would make sense. She was tempted to lift the floorboards up, call in SCSI to run ground-penetrating radar and search the fucking walls if they had to.

But then she found it.

A small metal box in the laundry room contained some tools and when she lifted up the fake bottom, she found 5 necklaces.

“Elle!!” She yelled through the house.

They both came running down the hall to her, “is this Kathy’s necklace?”

“Oh my god,” she whispered with a nod.

“I want to kill this guy,” she mumbles under her breath as she places the necklaces back in the box and closes it up.

“Spencer doesn’t need another girl he has a crush on to murder someone and get kicked out of the bureau,” Elle teases.

“What?” Y/N asks.

“Way to go,” Spencer nudges her.

Y/N stands up with the box and slides it into a large evidence bag before taping it up. “I guess he has a type then.”

“I don’t,” Spencer tries to cover up. “I mean, if I do then it’s people who are nice to me…”

She smiles at him, unable to even pretend to be jealous or mad. “It’s hard to be mean to you when you’re so cute.”

“Ew,” Elle announces her disgust as she leaves the room.

“Let’s get out of here before I end up kissing you in a murderer's laundry room,” Spencer teases, taking her hand and leading her out of the house as the rest of the forensics team takes over the bagging of evidence.

“Guys,” Elle rushes back to them with her phone pressed to her ear. “We have a bigger problem than we thought with Bahni.”

They rush into the SUV, putting the team on the speaker to hear the most unthinkable. “So I did what Y/N suggested and searched every single driver coming in and off-campus and the last street she was seen on,” Penelope explains back. “And I came across a man who was delivering Chinese food under the name Tom Larson… and it’s ironic his name is tom because he has a plethora of peeping offences and general creepiness alongside a metric shit-ton of abuse from his dad and dead mother.”

“Okay?” Elle follows.

“Tom Larson lives near Bahni,” Emily explains, “I was just at his house where I found him and his father had been murdered.”

“So we have not 1 but 3 creeps in this case, and none of them are who took Bahni?” Spencer rubs his eyes. “Please tell me we know who was in Tom’s car last night.”

“That’s where it gets tricky,” Penelope says with the doles tones of keys clicking behind her words. “We were just contacted by the fugitive Taskforce because they believe one of the murderers they’ve been tracking took Bahni… but he has ties to a much larger scale global sex trafficking ring.”

Elle flies through the streets with their lights on, pulling back into headquarters and right up to the security check. “So who is this guy?”

“Once you get back up here, Agent Simmons and Alvez will explain everything,” Hotch confirms. “I’m taking Derek to see Cruze, we need to tell him what’s going on.”

“Sounds good,” Elle hangs up and throws the SUV in park.

Y/N hesitates, staying put and taking a few breaths as Spencer watches. Elle’s left the car and is already on her way to the elevator. “What’s wrong?”

“Can I just have a hug real quick?”

“Yeah,” he wraps his arms around her and holds her close. “Are you okay?”

She nods against him, “yeah it’s just good to have at least 8 hugs a day.”

“Hug me whenever you need to,” he whispers against her hair, kissing the side of her head before she pulls back.

“Kisses are helpful too?”

He smiles, leaning in and pressing his lips to hers, mumbling against them, “how many?”

She hums, “10?”

He pecks her lips 10 times and counts each one, making her giggle, it takes so much effort to hold her smile back to keep kissing him but she feels much better.

“Thank you,” she beams and she can swear Spencer's eyes sparkle as he smiles back.

She pulls him into another hug, “I hate that we have to go catch a killer right now.”

“Come on then, as soon as we get him we can go on another date somewhere?”

She shakes her head, “after this case I think we should take a nap together… I’m exhausted and I don’t want to let you go.”

Spencer shakes his head in amazement, “you really like me?”

“Yeah, maybe I do,” she teases him. “You should get used to it because it’s only going to get more intense and I will smother you with love.”

He just shrugs, “it’s about time—“

They’re startled with a knock on the window, “we get it you’re in love, can we go now?”

“Sorry!” Y/N calls back with a giggle, pulling him in for one last kiss before getting out. Spencer follows with a deep blush that everyone will see when they get back upstairs, but it looks cute on him.

Luke Alvez has been trying to catch one criminal for the last 2 years. Simon Garrett has been a pain in the ass for the FBI, the CIA and DEA. He first showed up on their radar when his DNA was found on 14 women’s remains, all of who had been missing for at least 5 years.

His DNA was then traced to his son in the foster system, who’s been off the radar for the last 10 years. Everette Garrett.

“Now he’s interesting because I’ve been investigating his sex trafficking ring between Canada and the United States,” Matt adds. “All 14 women his father's DNA was found on were thought to be in his ring, which means when they get too old he hands them to his father to take care of.”

Y/N shakes her head as she listens, “so if you’ve been looking for them for this long what makes you think we can find them in time to save Bahni?”

“We’ve been tracking him for a while, we knew that he had a new girl on his radar and when we heard it was Bahni Desai we knew it was time to get you guys,” Matt explains.

“So far we know that she has to be taken to this warehouse in Alexandria before she goes any further, we’re going to intercept them before they make it to the warehouse and then use their car to gain access to take the whole thing down,” Luke rolls out a map of the facility then.

“We need to have the place surrounded for any runners, SWAT is getting prepped, we’re going tonight at 3 am,” Matt adds. “Morgan, Hotch, Prentiss, Alvez and Myself will be running a team at each of the 5 exits. Once inside, each team's swat unit will deploy gas to carefully knock everyone out, from there we need someone to cuff everyone at least until we know who is a victim and who is working there.”

“We’re taking everyone alive?” Spencer makes sure he hears them right.

“We need to know what the step after this warehouse is if we want to rescue more victims,” Luke’s voice is gentle yet stern as he explains. “I’ve seen this man take too many women from good homes and ruin their lives, I’m not letting him slip out of my fingers.”

“We’ve had this planned for months, we just needed to wait for the next confirmed drop-off.”

“Who’s driving?” Y/N asks, having a feeling it was her and Spencer.

“He’s Reids age,” Hotch announces from the door as he walks in with Cruze, “so we’ll replace Everette with Reid and Bahni with Y/L/N.”

“Rossi and Elle will be there to apprehend Everette, we’re setting up a fake traffic spot to irritate him and inhibit him from running. You two will be in a duplicate car arriving at the warehouse at the arranged time,” Emily confirms. “We just have to prep SWAT and then we can leave.”

“Alright, let’s get ready.”

—

Pretending to be kidnapped in the back of a car driven by her boyfriend was possibly the weirdest way to spend a Tuesday morning. Driving the exact make and model as their unsub, her heartbeat was loud enough to cover the sound of the engine and distract her from the long drive. She was overly anxious, and rightly so, it was her first sting.

And she was doing it all without coffee. Tired but full of adrenaline, she wanted to close her eyes and drift off but she knew she needed to be ready to apprehend the men at the gate with Spencer.

She feels the large bump, indicating they just went over a speed bump and she knows what that means. The car slows and she can hear the muffled talking before swat steps in, soon enough Spencer is cracking the trunk open and reaching in for her.

“Are you okay?” He helps her to her feet and makes sure her bulletproof vest is on right before handing her, her gun and watching her clip it on.

“Yeah, what happened?”

“The guards are down, Swat moved in as soon as we arrived, now we have to stand here and wait for them to clear the building,” Spencer explains as they walk to the front of her car.

She draws her gun and keeps it pointed low, guarded as they watch the front entrance for anyone to escape. “Do you know if Bahni is okay?” She whispers towards him.

He nods, “they radioed in that they got her, she’s being airlifted to the hospital with JJ right now.”

She nods with a deep breath, “okay good.”

“It’s going to be fine, we have enough SWAT here to take the government,” he tries to joke, getting a laugh from one of the officers… very strange to see someone laugh while holding an assault rifle.

One of the swat side steps towards Spencer, “I’m hearing on the line that they’ve cleared every room. They’re cuffing everyone, you’re free to enter.”

“Thanks,” Spencer replies.

The high-pitched screech rubber gripping asphalt in an attempt to stop draws their attention backwards. Elle and Rossi jumping out with their guns drawn, ready to join even though the exciting part is long over.

“No runners?” Elle asks, holstering her weapon. “Aw man, I was excited.”

“Not a one,” Y/N adds, watching the front entrance for the rest of the team to start funnelling out with the unsubs.

Luke exits first with a big smile on his face, Simon Garrett cuffed and barely stumbling out the door in front of him. He finally got him.

“well done,” Elle congratulates him. “Let me help you get him in SWAT van.”

“I think she has a thing for Luke,” Rossi leans into Y/N to gossip. “she wouldn’t stop asking about him on the drive…”

“Ooo,” Y/N teases, getting more and more tired as her adrenaline drops. Her eyes are heavy and Rossi can tell.

“Why don’t I bring you and the good doctor home, I don’t think they need all of us for the wrap-up,” Rossi pats her back. “You’ve had a long night, kid.”

“Thank you,” she smiles, holstering her gun and turning with him towards the SUV. “I’m so exhausted.”

“Well you’ve been on the job for almost 24 hours now, you’ve officially made it through your first overnight sting op,” Rossi congratulates her like he’s her grandpa.

She turns back when she doesn’t hear Spencer following her, “Spence? Are you coming?”

“Um,” he has something to ask as he follows then but he doesn’t say it. “Yeah, sorry.”

“It’s okay, come sit with me in the back?” She asks, sliding in beside him and resting her head on his shoulder as soon as their seatbelts are on.

“Did you still want to have a nap together?” He whispers, feeling her nod against his shoulder before she pulls back.

“Come here,” she tugs him in against her chest, snuggling in as best as she could in their sitting position. Holding him close and feeling him drift off in her arms. She has no problem following suit.

When she wakes, Rossi is parked outside of her apartment, “here you go, Y/N.”

She hums as she comes to, shaking Spencer awake too, “Spence, come on, let’s get to bed.”

“He’s going with you?”

She nods, “don’t tell Penelope. She’ll have a field day, I just want a nap.”

“You better get more than a nap,” Rossi orders. “You guys need to actually rest before you come back to work on Wednesday.”

“Thanks, Dad,” she teases him. “We will.”

“Bye Dave,” Spencer whispers as he gets out of the car. “Thank you for the ride.”

“Anytime kid,” Rossi waves them off, waiting for them to enter the building before driving away.

“Finally,” she sighs, dragging Spencer down the hall and towards her apartment. “I’m so fucking tired.”

“me too,” he barely says.

He follows her inside like a lost puppy, taking off his vest and shirt, slipping out of his pants until he’s in an undershirt, boxers and his mismatched socks. She’s amazed by how comfortable he is with her, but she has known him for 3 months, it’s enough time to fall in love with someone… right?

She’s loved him since she started working with him. When she realized he valued her opinions, he looked at her as a person and he genuinely loved her company. She felt a real connection with him, not just childish infatuation. He was everything to her.

She slides into bed beside him and snuggles in, wrapping an arm around his middle and resting her head on his chest.

“I guess I really can do everything,” she smirks.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

She pokes his chest and giggles away the awkwardness, “the thing I wanted to do most, the thing that I couldn’t do… that was to fall in love with you, but I did it anyway.”

“Well, then I guess I can do everything too.”

She pulls away to look at him, “I love you, Spencer. I don’t know if it’s too soon, but I’ve loved you for a while.”

He pulls her in for a kiss, shocking her as he breathes her in and holds her there. “I love you, more Y/N.”

Permanent tag list

@goldensonlyangel @doctorspenceryeet @samuel-de-champagne-problems @reiding-recs @shemarmooresfedora @reidsfish @manuosorioh @mochionly @jswessie187 @k-k0129 @blanchardsbk @measure-in-pain @dreams-in-blxck @doc-padfoot @nomajdetective @xoxospencerreid @mggswhorificlover @dinonuggets1967 @meganskane @kya-li @reidsbookclub @muffin-cup @sassymoon @shirleyrose @reidsacademia @this-is-doctor-and-its-calm @spooky-goob @strawberryspence @thatsonezesty13 @lonewolf471 @cmvibess @a-mended-pact @ssa-uglywhore27

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Castlevania Season 4: I’m not mad, just disappointed

Season 4 is poorly written fanfiction, which is...better than a lot of things could be, I guess.

Spoilers below the cut.

Content warning: trauma, sexual assault, psychological manipulation

The Gods Have Had a Change of Heart

Or, “Season 3 Blocked and Ignored”

Season 3 felt like the fabric of the universe had been twisted just to inflict additional pain. Season 4 overcompensates in the other direction; trauma evaporates, and good things happen for no other reason than to make our favorite characters happy.

The Season 3 finale left two characters in particular totally devastated: Alucard and Hector. Alucard is violently betrayed in a horrifying sexual assault by the first two people he’s spoken to since Trevor and Sypha left. He ends up killing them in self-defense and puts their bodies on stakes outside the castle, alluding to his father’s habit of doing so and potentially hinting at a turn toward evil. Hector is seduced by Lenore and then enslaved using a magic ring.

Yet at the start of Season 4, it’s as if these things never happened. Alucard is troubled, but not totally devastated, certainly not evil. Taka and Sumi are referenced in exactly one conversation with new character, Greta, in which she says the rather tactless throwaway line, “I had a boyfriend and girlfriend at the same time once. But they never tried to kill me.” Hector is nominally imprisoned, but immediately seems highly agentic, perhaps even more so than before. He studies, lays traps, and makes secret plans with other people. Furthermore, his relationship with Lenore is completely transformed. From falling to his knees in abject horror and despair at being enslaved, he suddenly switches to light banter, in what is apparently a basically okay, mutually enjoyed romantic/sexual relationship. Manipulative, selfish Lenore is now a sympathetic character struggling to reconcile her own role and feelings with Carmilla’s plans.

The events of season 3 happened, remaining canon in the most basic, literal sense. But the emotional weight attached to them has disappeared into thin air.

Not gonna lie, I did breathe a sigh of relief when I saw that Alucard and Hector were okay. I’m soft-hearted! I don’t like seeing characters I like suffer! I mean, conflict is important, and I can deal with (or even enjoy in a certain sense) seeing characters suffer if it makes sense and serves a narrative purpose. But as far as I can tell, the season 3 finale was nothing more than lurid, meaningless violence. I probably wouldn’t have continued watching the show if it devolved into nothing more than finding novel ways to torture the characters.

Still, it doesn’t feel quite right to pretend like nothing happened either. Or, really, not that nothing happened, but that those things didn’t matter, didn’t hurt, didn’t leave lasting scars. That’s...almost kind of worse.

But, I thought, I can sort of forgive this sudden shift in the stars, given that there may have been some sort of change in creative direction relating to Ellis’ decreased involvement with the show.* Plus, season 3 was insanity. It’s not like it was full of great writing choices, so if we quietly ignore some of them, maybe that’s for the best.

*I only later learned that Netflix actually chose to continue with Ellis’ season 4 scripts. It is not lost on me that maybe Ellis doesn’t know how to write about the lasting effects of traumatic sexual experiences or how power dynamics can make a sexual relationship problematic because he doesn’t understand that those things exist.

Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening

Pretty Pictures, Not Much Else

Unfortunately, the disconnect between seasons 3 and 4 isn’t the only problem with this season. Although I felt that season 4 was a bit less boring than season 3 (I particularly enjoyed some of the earlier episodes of season 4), it suffers from the same basic problems of Characters Being Nobody and Nothing Happening.

None of the characters experience any significant development, let alone any sort of coherent arc. Sypha has changed slightly, becoming more rough and jaded. I did really like the scene where she talks about becoming the kind of person who says “shit.” I think it really speaks to how entering into a relationship with someone means taking on aspects of their lifestyle, and how that can change you in ways that you can’t predict and therefore can’t exactly “agree” to. Sometimes those changes are good, sometimes they’re bad, sometimes they’re neutral, and sometimes it’s difficult to know. But you have to accept that you’re sacrificing some aspects of the person that you could have been if you chose to live completely independently, or with someone else.

Trevor really hasn’t changed since season 1 when he first decided to take up the mantle of hero again. Likewise with Alucard. Hector and Lenore change, as previously noted, but that change is sudden, jarring, and occurs completely off screen in between seasons 3 and 4. Carmilla dies as exactly as she lived: bitter, angry, and violent. Saint Germain just kind of...gets fucked over in a nonsensical subplot, which is its own whole can of worms.

We also get several new characters in season 4, none of whom have developed personalities or motives, nor do they develop any of those things over the course of the season: Greta, Zamfir, Varney, Ratko.

And nobody. Does. Anything.

Trevor and Sypha spend the entire season trying to explore and aid Targoviste, which comes to absolutely nothing. They’re unable to help anyone, Zamfir dies, and they end up just jumping through a magic portal to the actually relevant subplot in the finale. Carmilla literally does little more than draw maps until she’s ultimately killed. Hector plays a minor role in Saint Germain’s extraction of Dracula from Hell; otherwise, he and Lenore basically just exchange banter. Saint Germain does sort of do some stuff? But it’s often unclear how he’s made his connections, who the people who are helping him are, or what exactly he’s doing in terms of his magic beyond “whatever it takes to get back to his lover.”

Sure, there are fight scenes, but they feel meaningless. There’s no context, no stakes. There’s also a LOT of dialogue, and it is. Not well written. Exposition is embarrassingly clumsy at times, and the philosophical musings are cliche at best, muddled and confusing at worst. There’s just not all that much going on.

That is, except for Isaac. But more on him in a second.

What Kind of Show Is This?

When the plot line adapted from Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse ended with season 2, the show struggled to establish a new identity.

Despite nominally dealing with themes like whether humanity is inherently good or evil and how to cope with wrongdoing and loss, seasons 1 and 2 ultimately boiled down to a pretty generic action-adventure/fantasy plot with found family/power of friendship elements. Main characters Trevor, Sypha, and Alucard don’t really wrestle with big philosophical questions or suffer any major defeats. They know that they have to take down Dracula for the good of the world, and they work together as a team to do it, with a little character development relating to their various backstories sprinkled in.

Then season 3 happened, and things got weird. The trio is broken up for what feels like a pretty trivial reason—Alucard has to protect the castle and Belmont hold, I guess? And the result of that decision is that the dynamics for the three main characters are completely unbalanced.

Ellis openly admits that he basically went feral with the writing of season 3, and it shows. The messaging in seasons 1 and 2 was cliche, but consistent. The message of season 3? Anyone’s guess.

Season 4 reversed the darkening of tone from season 3, but shares its inability to pick a story and tell it.

Isaac is the Main Character

Always has been.

While I can’t say that his character or arc are perfect, I can say that he actually has a character and an arc. He starts off motivated by his fierce loyalty to Dracula, then has to struggle to find his purpose once Dracula is gone. He goes from subservient to agentic. He goes from fully endorsing the genocide of humanity and not caring about his own life to seeing some worth in humans and genuinely wanting to live. He has an interesting moment that deepens our understanding of what night creatures are, while also serving as an exploration of the meaning of one’s fundamental nature. Most importantly, these changes happen naturally over the course of the show. They never feel forced or out of the blue, and while I feel like even more could have been done with Isaac’s character, there’s a lot to appreciate about what is there.

If there’s any thread holding Castlevania as a single, coherent work together, it’s Isaac. Not only is his character the best executed and the most coherent over the course of the show, his character explores themes that are larger than himself and relevant to the show as a whole, like those mentioned earlier: misanthropy versus a belief in the value of humanity; the ability to go beyond one’s “nature” or initial circumstances; and how to respond to being wronged or losing something important to you. Exploring the individual lives of characters is great, but really good writing usually requires going beyond that to reflect on broader questions and ideas. Isaac is the only character here that serves that larger purpose.

Sorry...I Just Don’t Buy It

The season 4 finale is crazy, although in a different way from season 3′s.

Varney being Death makes no sense on several different levels. I’m not going to spend a lot of time picking that particular plot twist apart, but I will talk about why I think it doesn’t work at the largest scale, and how I think season 4 might have been done better.

Last minute twists with zero foreshadowing are rarely a good idea, and this is no exception. Why introduce this “Death” entity at the last minute to be the most important battle of the season? The finale of the entire show, even? Besides the lack of logic or emotional buildup, this robs the show of the opportunity to make use of the antagonists that it already has. Since Dracula died, Carmilla has been the obvious choice for a new big bad. Why hasn’t she done more?

Season 4 feels crowded with characters and plot lines that amount to nothing. Why not bring some of these characters together? If Carmilla is the main antagonist, how come she never meets any of the protagonists (except Hector, who is a pretty minor player in this ecosystem) or even affects them in any way?

Season 4 feels like maybe it was trying to make something out of season 3 and the model that it presented, but it ultimately fails to do so. The writers throw the trio back together at the end anyway, so why not have them rejoin sooner and work together? Maybe Sypha and Trevor’s past experience with Saint Germain could have helped Alucard and Greta piece together what he was plotting sooner, rather than all four of them being completely blindsided by it in the penultimate episode. (Sypha and Trevor know that someone is trying to resurrect Dracula, but they fail to find out any actual detail about the plans, despite their supposed attempts.) Have characters actually do stuff, figure stuff out, advance the plot!

Likewise, maybe Carmilla becomes aware of Saint Germain’s scheming, sees it as a threat, and tries to take him down. Maybe she tries to get involved and somehow use alchemy or the Infinite Corridor to her own benefit. What does it look like when power-hungry Carmilla, who wants to rule the world, finds out there’s an entire multiverse out there? That could easily set her up to be a foil to Saint Germain, causing him to realize that what he’s doing is wrong.

What actually ended up happening in the show feels disjointed and often empty. In particular, most of the events that happen in the last two episodes just don’t really work for me. I didn’t like Trevor suddenly sacrificing himself to this random, new, super powerful enemy, or how the gems and dagger that he found just happened to be the perfect weapon to kill this new enemy, or how he inexplicably returns from the dead.

This kind of thing is what I mean when I say that this season feels like fanfiction. Trevor comes back from the dead for no discernible reason other than that it would really suck if he died. Greta as a character seems to literally only exist to be Alucard’s girlfriend and support him so that he doesn’t have to continue to be alone and potentially turn evil. Alucard’s trauma from Taka and Sumi and Hector’s trauma from Lenore are both conveniently erased. Even Dracula and Lisa are resurrected somehow and get their happy ending. And it’s like, I guess I prefer deus ex machina to the opposite (Does that have a name? When everything is going well but then something terrible happens for no reason other than to make things worse for the characters?), but they’re both bad writing.

God. This isn’t even getting into what happened with the Council of Sisters. And I don’t even really like those characters, but that doesn’t mean I want to see their characters handled poorly.

I’m not sorry that I watched until the end, but I can’t in good faith recommend the show as a whole. If you’ve yet to watch Castlevania, just stop at the end of season 2. While there are some shining moments in seasons 3 and 4 (4 more than 3), it’s just really not worth it.

[angstsfordays]

Tell Me Now

Summary: The best part about love is always that bit before you actually confessed your feelings and officially be together. That mutual pining and fluttering feeling. But that would not last forever. You got to tell that person someday before it’s too late.

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader (Main pairing), Steve Rogers x Reader (Supporting pairing)

Warnings: LOTS OF FEELINGS. Maybe a few swear words? Mutual pining and much slow burn that will make your heart ache.

Word count: 10889

Notes: Thank you for supporting my story: Stay with Me and For You! If you haven’t check it out, be sure to do so! I’m back with a new post that has been in my drafts for a while. Since I’m finally on a break from school, I managed to continue working on it!

This time, I’m back with a Bucky story and it will be in the same universe as my two other posts. So for Bucky’s stories, Steve’s girl will be named Ro(salie). In Steve’s stories, Bucky’s girl will also have a name (undecided yet) otherwise it will just be weird like Reader 1 or 2. Just take note again that Ro (in this story) is an OC from my previous two related stories!

 Hoping that this story can cheer everyone up in these difficult times. Take care and stay safe! Wear masks and practice social-distancing! Anyways, hope y’all enjoy this one too! IT’S REALLY LONG BUT I HOPE IT’S WORTH A READ. Let me know what you think! 😊

———————————————————————

“I imagined you would have plans on a Friday night.” You were still in a deep pile of work before the voice of your boss snapped you out of your concentration.

You could not hide the frown that formed on your face as you looked up to meet his face. “I wonder who decided it would be a good idea to have a crossfire in the Amazon forest.”

“Well, we can’t decide where the bad guys want to be? Plus, no people were hurt, we were well away from civilization.” Tony tried to downplay the aftermath of the previous mission. The team were intercepting the trafficking of dangerous weapon materials by a rogue organisation. Said organisation thought it would be escape unscathed and undetected through the biggest rainforest from Earth’s mightiest heroes.

“There were no people but there were tons of wildlife, Tony! Animal activists and nature conservationists are basically rioting! That’s two more to add to the list of people that are pissing at the Avengers!”

You retorted at your boss’ almost nonchalant attitude. You knew he was not surprised that the Avengers always received backlash even if they were only trying to save the world.

It was a long week for you, having to clear up this PR stunt caused by the Avengers. You have started working for Tony Stark as his new assistant for the past six months. With Pepper taking over Stark Industries as CEO, Tony Stark could solely focus on his Avenger duties.

However, even with Friday, he needed someone on the ground that could help him with matters that require human interactions. More specifically, to deal with the Public Relations side of the matter.

Needless to say, while people are grateful for the Avengers, there are some who weren’t. Mainly any government authorities who aren’t able to control the Avengers. Fame has two sides of the coin and Tony Stark hardly has time to juggle bad press and public relations on top of his Avenging duties.

You were recruited after you left your previous job, playing the whistle blower to your company whom you found out were involved in shady dealings linked to Hydra. You refused to defend them and save them with a PR campaign, thus you gathered all evidence and decided to throw them under the bus.

Life was hell for you after, you found yourself to be in danger courtesy of your previous employer. He decided to hire a Hydra agent to take your life and you were fearing for your life. You knew that you might not be able to convince the police to help you with this matter and you were sure that you would be dead.

But with whatever luck you had left, the attempt at your life was intervened by the one and only Avengers. You still remembered how your door was knocked down by Captain America and Black Widow decided to make an entrance through your window. What a dream, right?

You remembered shaking terribly as both Avengers fought off your terribly strong assassin. As you backed up to get away from the scene, your back collided into a hard chest. A cool, metal hand had held you close and your heart leap in fear. You turned back to see the Winter Soldier, as stone cold as you have known him from the news, his eyes held a reassuring stare that prevented you from screaming your lungs out.

You did not know what prompted your next actions but you threw yourself at him, arms encircling neck and hiding yourself in his warm embrace. You hoped that he could protect you. You did not want to die just yet, you believed you still had a lot of things to fulfill in life.

And that was basically the beginning of your new life. After being rescued, Tony recruited you into the Avengers though not as an Avenger. You wished, ha! Instead, you were hired as the PR director for the Avengers. Tony Stark was impressed with what you did previously with your previous company and decided to hire you to manage PR for the Avengers. God knows he would not want to deal with that.

It was also to make sure you were under protection with Earth’s Mightiest Heroes and that you did not need to worry about any attempts on your life. The agent and your previous employer were dealt with. You were in a much better place now.

“Come on kid, let me make you a drink.”

“I don’t think that it is appropriate in the workplace, boss.” You jested but you knew he mean well. Tony is a great boss despite his occasional oddities. He respected and trusted you, and that is all you really ask for in a boss.

“How about as a friend?” He shrugged off your previous comment before gesturing you to follow him to the exclusive lounge area for Avengers. This was entirely different because it was located in the private living quarters of Avenger members. All other personnel did not have access to it, even you until not long ago.

When you were first introduced to the team, you could not believe yourself to be in that situation. You became fast friends with the girls and it was Rosalie or Ro as she liked to be called (who’s also Steve Roger’s girlfriend) that made you feel at home with the team.

She was impressed at your bravery to stand up to injustice and made it a point to be your friend. She would sometimes ask you out for lunch or coffee, eventually inviting you to hang out with the rest of the girls.

All of them were so normal, unlike their fierce and badass images as Avengers. You could really see that they were just normal people with everyday problems. They have come to seek your advice on everyday stuff, such as dress for a party or planning a surprise for their significant other.

Then one day came the big question.

“Do you have anyone special, Y/N?” You crinkled your nose at Ro’s question and shook your head. You never thought about it since you have been busy with work.

You had only one serious boyfriend after college but you broke off the relationship when you realised that he was not the one for you. He wanted you to be the trophy wife in his life, proposing to you a couple of years after you started your career. He assured he will take care of you as he started climbing up the corporate ladder. He wanted to start a family but you knew you wanted more.

You wanted your own career and be part of something more meaningful and bigger than yourself. There was no way you wanted to be confined to a home taking care of children. Sure, you might hope for it in the future but you knew the potential that you had. You were not going it to give it up so easily.

“Never really thought about it.” You shrugged as you drank your iced coffee.

“Oh come on, Y/N. There are plenty of guys here in the compound, don’t tell me there isn’t one that caught your eye.” Your eyes widened at Ro’s words. While subtle, your body language did not slip past the keen eyes of Natasha Romanoff. There was one guy. Maybe. But you were not going to let them know.

“There isn’t any.” Your answer was curt before taking another sip of that coffee.

“You’re lying.” Natasha answered smoothly, if you were not close with her you would have stopped yourself from throwing daggers at her with your eyes.

“There isn’t-” You look to Wanda who was giggling at the exchange and your eyes widened at the possibility of-

“Wanda! Don’t you dare!” You warned the young girl as you knew what she was capable of. God forbid she read your mind and figure out whose image first popped in your mind. She threw her arms mockingly and gave an expression like she would not dare to so even while she had a wide grin on her face.

“Who is it?!” Ro started getting excited at the prospect of her friend having her crush.

“No one! Oh look at the time, I need to brief Tony about something-some meeting- something…BYE!” You hurriedly walked out of the pantry. You knew that the girls would hound you for answers and you were not ready to face that yet.

———————————————————————

“Earth to Y/N. Yoohoo!” The sound of Tony’s voice snapped you out of your thoughts once again and the incident with the girls that happened only yesterday.

“Wha- what?”

“I asked for your favourite poison?” Tony quipped before he started to open the cabinets for his liquors.

“Uh- surprise me with your best.” You tried to give a fast answer as you were just interrupted from your memory of yesterday. Tony threw a smirk over his shoulder before he went ahead to get some ice.

“Oooh, is Tony making drinks?” A new voice appears and you turned to see Ro entering the lounge. Behind her were the rest of the Avengers who were slowly filing into the room.

“Be prepared for an amazing show.” Tony started to wave his hands like a showman. He closed the cocktail shakers and started doing an awkward dance to a song that he requested Friday to play. It was overall cheesy and greasy, unlike his usual public image.

You started laughing and clapping to cheer him on. There was some holler in the background and Tony finally poured his concoction into a fancy glass. Adding in a small umbrella, he presented it to you. You turned to the rest of the team to show it off before taking a sip.

“It’s called ‘I cannot live without you’ because we cannot live without you now, Y/N.” Tony did a dramatic wave his hands before bowing. You chuckled at his theatrics before downing your drink.

“On behalf of the team, we’re sorry that you have to clean up our shit.” Tony exclaimed to which everyone snorted but agreed. They knew they owe you big for clearing the PR mess after every time they had to do their job of saving the world.

Natasha and Wanda decided to join Tony behind the bar and make some drinks for everyone as well. Everyone took a seat around the lounge table near the island and Ro took the seat beside yours.

“You worked hard, Y/N. Thank you.” She went in to hug you from the side.

“Anything for you, baby.” You petted her like she was your child.

“Thanks again, Y/N.” Steve (you could never get over the fact that you were on first name basis with Captain America) chimed in. You responded with a salute and spoke.

“Just doing my job, Steve.” The rest all started sitting down one by one with drinks passed out. Everyone fell into easy conversation.

A flash of blue passed by your eyes and you saw Bucky Barnes taking the sit across you. He was dressed in a long-sleeved blue Henley with dark pants. He just had his hair cut short and you could not help to leave a small gasp when he turned to meet your eyes.

You immediately swerved to face Ro who was talking to Steve. Seeing that she was busy in conversation, you turned your head to the other side to meet Natasha who was giving you a confused expression at your flustered one.

Your hand reached out to your drink to get another sip, unknowingly Bucky’s own fingers brushed against yours to reach out for his drink on the same table. Your eyes immediately averted to scan his reaction and he gave you a curt polite smile. You tried to muster a response, any really to show that you were cool-headed.

Bucky threw in another nod as he raised his drink and you nodded in response to his gesture, his mannerisms threw you off guard. In your almost entire year of working with the Avengers, you barely had a solid interaction with the Winter Soldier.

By that, you mean that the most interaction you had was a nod in the hallway, a greeting in the morning when you passed by the gym on the way to your office or when he saw you getting off work in the evening. There also was the occasion asking of refills for coffee when you see him in the pantry. And that was it.

Your first meeting with Bucky had left a big impact on you because for the first time you had felt an indescribable emotion that only he had on you. You had always had a strong independent spirit and never felt the need to depend on someone. That was how you were raised in your household and your parents had pushed for you to exceed in life, given that you were from a second-generation immigrant family.

That kind of mentality had been ingrained into your life and you never let your guard down with people. Not until that fateful day…. for the first time you just wanted someone to depend on. But no matter, Bucky Barnes is out of your league, you reminded yourself.

You have seen how the gaze of female agents or staff move over to him whenever he stepped into the room. He did not even need to try, which was even the more annoying part. 

Snap out of it, Y/N.

“Hey Y/N, you would not have gotten sick of us, yet right?” Sam quipped up in the conversation. You did not know what the context of the current conversation was but you just decided to answer away.

“Hmm, I don’t know. Is a drink really going to make me stay?” You shook your empty glass and Wanda initiated to refill it.

“Well then ask away, my dearest and indispensable employee. What would you like as an early bonus?” You jokingly made a serious face and looked like you were pondering hard on the question. Nothing really came into mind as you were happy with what you had for the moment.

“Maybe a vacation?” Natasha suggested with her brows raised. You nodded with a thoughtful expression, that would indeed be nice. Would you go to the beach or the mountains for a nice personal retreat?

“That’s too simple. You should use Stark’s card to the fullest advantage.” Sam said smugly and you returned with an expression that showed agreement.

“How about a boyfriend?” Ro’s voice suddenly injected into the conversation. You swerved your head to face her, eyes widened at her bold suggestion.

“Oh, what’s this all about?” You could already imagine the gears spinning in your boss’ head and you really wanted to strangle Ro for a quick minute.

“Y/N deserves someone special in her life, you have been overworking her too hard Tony.” Ro continued with a playful expression and you swore you were going to lean over and-

“Get some, get some!” Sam started cheering to which Ro joined. The both of them acting like children.

“I don’t understand, what is Miss Y/N getting?” Vision suddenly asked in the midst and you saw Wanda giggling with an embarrassed expression at her boyfriend’s innocence.

“Stop it, Rosalie! You know I don’t like to talk about this!” You gave a fair warning to the hyped-up Avenger whom Steve almost seemed embarrassed of as he sighed at his girlfriend’s antics.

“Hey! You know I don’t like it people call me Rosalie!” Ro retorted as she folded her arms.

“Well, you crossed the line first.” You threw back a squinted glare.

“Oh come on, I just want you to find someone that can make you happy because you make us happy.” Ro started walking towards you with her hands outstretched, wanting to give you a hug.

“Uh-uh, you don’t get to be all cute on me after what you did. Steve might fall for it but I won’t.” You held up an accusing finger to which Ro pouted.

“Steve, she is so mean to me.” The girl started pouting and went to sit on Steve’s lap, hugging him like a teddy bear. Steve returned the embrace but not before looking up to you and mouthed to you ‘sorry’. 

You knew Ro meant well like a sister but you REFUSED to speak of your non-existent love life in front of everyone (well specifically HIM).

“Oh come on, Y/N. Ro just wanted the best for you. It’s important to work hard but one must play hard” Sam added on with a smirk to which you threw him a glance that hinted for him to zip it.

“You sure there is no one you’re interested? I happen to be a great matchmaker myself on top of being a billionaire, playboy wait scratch that I married with a kid, philanthropist…” Tony gestured to himself smugly.

“How about no Tony, I am not going to be one of your special projects.” You waved your boss-friend off before running your hands through your hair, exasperated at what tonight’s conversation started leading to.

“Oh come on, there are plenty of men in the compound. Take your pick, any pick. I will set you up.” Tony insisted and made a gesture to actually pull up a holographic database of all personnel data.

“Oh my god Tony. Believe it or not, I don’t need your help and I am not confident about YOUR taste in men.” You gasped in shock at what he was doing and wanted to squirm into the corner of the couch that you were sitting on.

“Well then, I am sure you will be confident in my taste.” Natasha’s voice pulled you out of your recluse and you returned a disbelieved look towards the redhead.

Your eyes averted once more to the beautiful brunette in blue across you to gauge his reaction to all this sudden intervention. Bucky looked aloof and amused altogether, he had his usual calm demeanour but you could make out the small upward curve of his lips. What was he really thinking about, you wondered.

“Argh fine. If I let you have your way, can we stop having this conversation that I never needed.” You issued an ultimatum to the group; you just wanted this conversation to end.

“Deal.” Natasha answered while Ro nodded eagerly from your side.

“Fine, If there is someone nice, you can introduce him to me.” You threw your hands up in defeat before crossing them over your chest, signalling to the team that you are so done with this ordeal.

“Yay!” Ro got off Steve’s lap and started doing a celebratory dance by swing her hands in circles. Everyone’s attention went to her and her little dance was met with amusement. You could not help but to laugh at her excitement, your eyes suddenly caught the sight across you.

Bucky Barnes suddenly had a hardened expression on his face unlike before and his eyes stared right into your soul (as cheesy as it sounds). It suddenly threw you off guard because this was probably the most intimate interaction you had with each other and you immediately tried looking everywhere but him.

“Please promise he won’t be weird.” You turned to your redhead friend and requested with a pout. Her eyes fleeted somewhere else before meeting yours.

“Trust me, Y/N. Believe it or not, I am a psychic when it comes to this sort of things.” You definitely had faith in your friend, I mean she would never sabotage you. Right?

———————————————————————

You return to work on Monday well rested. You manage to give yourself a personal retreat over the weekend by visiting cafes and bookstores. You even baked some Nutella tarts on Sunday and planned to give it to the team to share.

As you stepped into your office to put your things down, Friday requested you to head down to laboratory. You gave yourself one last look in the reflection of your glass office, straightening your tan midi pencil skirt and light blue blouse. You took your Stark Pad and place the earpiece on your left ear.

You were ready to face whatever work would bring. You took light confident steps to the level that the laboratory was on. Walking in to the open lab space, you saw Tony and Bruce exchanging playful banter, well more so on Tony’s side.

The two men’s attention turned to you once you stepped into the room and you were welcomed with smiles.

“What’s up, boss?” Your eyes went to Tony before going to Bruce. “Morning, Bruce.”

The scientist returned your greeting with a warm smile before walking back to his workstation. Tony signalled for you to follow him as he started pulling up holographic images and was looking through some data information. “So how’s your morning?”

“Good. Friday said you wanted to see me. What do you need me to do?” Your statement made Tony rolled his eyes as he made a jokingly exasperated expression.

“Diving into work talk so early at 10? Relax Y/N.”

“Some people actually start work earlier, Mr Stark and I’m not paid to relax.” You knew Tony was unlike any boss, he definitely had his quirks but it was not something you could not work with.

“You almost sound like Cap for a second there, how did I get such an employee like you?” Tony almost looked thrown off for a moment but you knew it was in jest.

“You offered me a job after saving my ass from an assassination attempt on my life.” Your deadpanned expression drew a laugh from your boss. He held up his hands before resting one on his hip.

“You never fail to surprise me Y/N. Anyways, okay onto business, we have a visitor and I need you to show him around.”

“Alright? Who is it?” Looking up to your boss with curious eyes, you were surprised when he let out a sigh- as if he were actually concerned about the matter.

“The government is sending in an agent to check in on the Avengers for a yearly assessment. It is part of our compliance to be transparent with what we actually do. Of course, we do not divulge mission information and all that. But they do want to know how we run operations on a general basis.”

“And you chose me because….” Your brows furrowed at the sudden revelation of information.

“You are the perfect person for the job. You know exactly what and what not to show them without infringing on our privacy.” Tony answered nonchalantly while instructing Friday to work on some scientific analysis.

“Right, of course. I’m the PR girl.” You answered with a knowing expression.

“No, you’re now my trusted adviser and there is no one else I trust with the task.” Tony looked up to meet your eyes with a serious expression for a short moment.

“Adviser? I’m just in charge of PR.” Placing your free hand on your hip, you made an exasperated stance as you gave Tony a questionable look.

“Oh well, would you look at that? You’ve been promoted. Congratulations, that will be your bonus for handling the Amazon stunt.” Tony started clapping to himself before making a grand hand gesture.

“Seriously, Tony? That’s like my job, it does not call for a promotion.” Your brows quirked and you had to give him a ‘I’m not buying this’ expression.

“Well, I’m the boss. I’m right, you’re wrong and thus I can promote you.” He gave you an all-knowing expression before he suddenly had a look that said he was reminded of something. “He will be here in 1 hour.”

“You are giving me 1 hour to prepare? Oh my god, Tony. That’s too little time!” You started stomping in your heels before frantically looking to your Stark Pad and asking Friday to send you information on your soon to come visitor.

“You can make it work; you always do.” Tony gave you a thumbs up with an eat-shitting grin. You could not even return him a verbal response and let out a short grunt before making your way out of the lab.

“I am experienced enough to do this. I am capable enough to do this. I can do this” Chanting a mantra to calm your nerves, you started preparing information on your Stark Pad to come up with an agenda to welcome the government agent.

You were definitely going to request for a vacation soon after this.

Walking to the lobby at 10.45 am, you stood by the receptionist desk as you waited for your visitor. You chatted with the receptionist, Jenny briefly to calm your nerves. She was a sweet-looking lady in her early 40s who was a single mother of two boys. However, her appearance was just a façade as you knew her to be tough and hard worker who was great at her job.

You once witnessed her putting a rude government employee who was here to accompany a higher up in meeting with you boss. She took no shit from the man who looked down on her for being a ‘front desk lady’ and asked her to get coffee.

That moment never failed to make you feel good about being a woman.

Looking down at your Stark Pad, you read through the profile of your visitor. Keith Wellings. Age 45. A federal agent with the US government for almost 20 years. This man rose the ranks quick to his connections and tenacity to mix with the right people at the right time. He is definitely going to use this opportunity to curry favour both sides.

He will definitely make it hard to pass assessment in exchange for favours from your side. Keith will definitely be careful on how he presents this assessment to his bosses as he definitely knows the government will go to any lengths to get dirt on the Avengers. He will be on the offensive on this visit. You need to make sure he does not cross any line.

You could hear the footsteps before you saw someone walking through the door. To your surprise, the man entering through the door does not look like the one in your tablet.

He had a sense of familiarity around but where had you seen him before?

“Y/N Y/L/N! How has fate brought us together again?” His voice ringed an alert in your memory and you took an intake of air to calm yourself. There was no way it could be….

“Teddy Radnor?” Your voice was soft but you knew he could hear you. This was evident in how his face lit up at your recognition of him.

“It’s great to see you again.” You did not anticipate the hug that was coming for you and almost dropped your tablet as he pulled you in for one.

Teddy Radnor was your college friend. You both were studying the same major and became fair friends. You saved him from getting humiliated at a party by agreeing to be his ‘hot’ date as part of his frat house orientation. You were from the sister sorority which you only agreed to join as it was free housing on campus.

Teddy was a bit of a dork back in the college years and he was only in the fraternity because his family were legacies. You still thought he was a nice and sweet guy, albeit he started being clingy seeing that you were the only person who was genuinely nice to him. You did see him as a friend and brother though you knew he saw you otherwise.

While you did attract some attention from guys, you were focused on your studies. Teddy made sure to be the buffer and saw himself as your unofficial boyfriend. You tried on many occasions to give him the hint and ultimately told him the truth. He seemed to accept it but he believed that he could stand a chance one day in the future.

You lost touch with him upon graduation. You were busy in your career and you heard that he was busy advancing in his too. You just never thought you would be reunited after five years later under such circumstances.

“Wow, you’re working with the Avengers? That’s so awesome.” Those were his first words as he released you from the hug.

“Yeah, I switched job. And you’re working with the government? Wow.” You tried to match his enthusiasm.

“Yes-yes, not easy but I figured if I worked hard enough, I would be able to work in a place of importance.” Teddy’s words reminded you of why you were friends with him in the first place. Even while he’s sometimes awkward and couldn’t take a hint on your unrequited feelings for him, you knew he was a good person.

“I’m proud of you Teddy. I know you always wanted to work in public affairs.”

“Well, I could say the same for you. You’re working with the Avengers. I can’t believe I’m also here. Keith had another work thing so I was called in at the last minute to replace him.” You nodded in understanding. So that’s why Teddy was here.

Lady luck had to be on your side. You knew Teddy and Teddy definitely would not make it hard for you. This assessment would be a breeze.

———————————————————————

You gave Teddy a walk through of the entire compound, from the back end communications to the training grounds. He looked like a child at a playground with a piece of candy. You were sure he would give you the benefit of a good assessment.

You had lunch with him in the cafeteria and was ready to seal the deal when you heard him mention one important thing. “I know it sounds unprofessional of me but between friends, I want to let you know that I’m secretly a huge Avengers fan. I was stoked when I got the call to come in.”

“Oh yeah, who’s your favourite?” You tried asking casually, trying to hide the fact that you had a plan up your sleeve.

“Oh my gosh, they are all amazing. They truly are, but it has to be Cap for me. He really is the cream of the crop for me.” Nodding deviously, you already had a feeling that Teddy’s idol had to be Steve. Teddy was the history buff back in college.

“Of course, I understand Teddy. Well, it just so happens that I am acquainted with Cap and I could introduce you to him.” You gave your most award-winning smile to hook him in. Teddy looked at you for a moment before speaking. “Oh I see what you’re doing.”

You tried to conceal your expressions and gave him a confused frown at his words. Shit, was he catching up? “You’re trying to butter me up.” Shit, he did. Teddy continued on talking.

“And it’s working slightly but I still have to be impartial about this assessment, Y/N.” You heaved a small sigh of relief before smiling sweetly up at him again. “Oh come on, Teddy. I am just doing this for an old friend.”

“Old friend, right….” It was meant to be a mutter to himself but you could hear it loud and clear. You tried to brush it aside as you asked him if he was done with lunch. The two of you cleared your plates before continuing the walk through.

You brought Teddy to one of the lower levels and stopped in front of the door. You did not have to do anything as Friday recognised your presence and went ahead to open the door for you. Teddy turned to look at you in amazement once more while you returned a smug look in return at his response.

The two of you were brought to the sight of an Avengers-only training exercise. Saving the best for last, you peeked at Teddy’s response and had to bite your lip from forming a full-on grin.

Hook, line, sinker.

———————————————————————

Bucky Barnes had to focus. Steve had come up with a new training regime for field operations after reviewing past mission scenarios.

Playing to each member’s strength, Steve came up with offensive and defensive pairings for field combat. He was paired with Ro in the exercise, she was on defence while he was offense. While Ro had firepower with the nature of her powers, Steve decided she suited long range attacks with her ability to fly and that she can direct her powers from a further distance.

The duality of her flame like energy blasts was able to incinerate and tranquilize made her perfect to defend the team from attacks. Bucky on the other hand, more experienced in operative work will be the one to sneak into enemy lines and obtain the necessary data or item of interest.

In this particular scenario, Ro had to build an energy -based force field to defend the both of them from raining firepower. The rest of the team collectively tried to break the barrier while Ro had to endure it and bring Bucky into the ‘enemy base’.

Bucky looked over to see Ro enduring attacks from both Vision and Natasha. Steve was overseeing the practice while Sam took the side-lines to help Steve with the analysis of the training practice.

Bucky focused on defeating the holographic images that Wanda was conjuring to mimic potential enemies. Bucky’s ears suddenly perked up at the sound of new arrival into the training room.

Looking up, he saw you with an unknown man who seemed like he was in awe of everything. Bucky broke concentration for a moment and felt himself being punched in the jaw by one of the holographic enemies.

“Bucky, why are you not focusing-” Steve’s words were interrupted as he too looked up at the presence of new arrival into the room.

“Alright, we can take a break. Buck, Ro, the both of you were doing great. It was the right decision to pair you two together. We can resume again later.” Steve’s approval was all he needed for him to let loose and catch a breath.

Reeling away from Captain mode, Steve immediately switched to boyfriend mode. He went ahead to grab the water bottle and towel before making his way to his girlfriend. As Ro immediately gulped down the water, Steve lovingly wiped up the sweat on her face and placed a peck on the side of her temple. Bucky could hear him whispering ‘You did so good, darling’.

Ro gushed outwardly at Steve’s words by muffling her squealing into the towel. Steve chuckled at how she can still be blushing like a schoolgirl even when it was a year into their relationship. Bucky started to feel envious because he also wanted that relationship with someone too. Perhaps with someone who just entered the room.

The mysterious man and you started making way down the steps to the training grounds. Bucky gave the guy a once over, he looked decent enough but he didn’t like the way he was standing so close to you.

“Steve, I would like for you to meet someone. This is Teddy Radnor, he’s an agent from the government and is in charge of the assessment today.” You finally revealed who and where the guy was from.

“Captain Rogers, it is an honour to meet you. It’s an honour to meet everyone here, really.” This Teddy fellow stepped ahead to give Steve a handshake. Steve, putting on his public persona greeted the guy with a courteous smile.

“Likewise Agent Radnor. I hope you had a good experience.”

“Oh definitely. Y/N here has been a great host.” Agent Radnor placed his hands around your shoulder as he responded. You looked slightly taken aback by the sudden contact which made Bucky felt defensive all of a sudden.

As he was standing nearest to you, he though of taking a step forward to intervene when you turned to smile at Agent Radnor, looking embarrassed. What was going on-

Steve must have sensed the same thing he had because he asked what exactly Bucky had on his mind. “You two know each other?”

“Yes, we were college friends and in the same fraternity-sorority house.” Agent Radnor was quick to answer eagerly as he looked to you for affirmation. You just silently nodded in agreement.

“Oooh, college friends. Were you two close?” Ro started to join in the conversation as she stood beside Steve.

“Yes, yes indeed. In fact, I kind of confessed to her but she told me no. She did not see that way and wanted to focus on her studies which I respected that.” Agent Radnor seemed very pleased with his answer when it garnered intriguing responses from the rest of the team.

Bucky already started to dislike him.

“Teddy!” You were shocked at his sudden revelation and looked like you wanted to crawl into a hole as you brought up the Stark Pad to hide your face. You had a grimaced expression formed on your face after removing the tablet from your face. Your frown then turned into an irritated expression causing Bucky to follow your line of sight to find out what was the cause of it.

Bucky turned to see the girls namely Ro, Natasha and Wanda exchanging hush whispers with Cheshire grins on their face. Steve, Sam, and Vision did not know how to react in this circumstance and looked at each other awkwardly. Bucky did not like this man one bit.

“I’m sorry. Too much information. I always tend to be socially awkward when I’m nervous. I babble and say awkward stuff. I guess it’s because I’m just such a big fan of everyone. Oh wait, too much information again. I’m an agent and should be impartial during this assessment-” Agent Radnor started blabbering on and on, it was almost uncomfortable to endure.

You placed a comforting touch on his arm and tried to calm him down. ‘It’s alright Teddy, they’re just normal people like you and I.’ Bucky heard you say to him.

Even if Agent Radnor had embarrassed you before, you still offered him reassurance. That was one of the many things Bucky admired you, how effortless you were with people and the comforting presence you brought when you were in the room.

Bucky knew this was why you were so good at your job and that Tony Stark trusted whole-heartedly to place the well-being of the Avengers as your highest priority. He admired how level-headed you were no matter the crisis and the positivity that you had in ensuring that it will be dealt with.

More importantly, Bucky admired how you were genuine around the team. He was not sure when Tony recruited you after saving your life from Hydra. He was amazed at your bravery to stand up to injustice even if you did not any hero like powers. He was not sure how you would be like with the team, he preferred to keep you at a distance as with any strangers.

However, you started gaining fast friendships with everyone with your easy-going personality soon enough. He could see similarities between you and Ro in how you are friendly towards others but he could also see the difference. While Ro had an infectious and bubbly energy, you on the other hand draw people in with your cool and calming presence.

Bucky always wanted to get closer to you. He just didn’t know how to. Whenever he sees you, it was as if everything in him stilled and he could not express how he really felt. He only resorted to making sure he acknowledges your presence when in the same room, this was his way of him respecting you.

Bucky was not sure how else to approach you without making a fool of himself. He envied how the rest of the team were easy to warm up to you and he wished he could do the same too. But Bucky knew he didn’t deserve someone like you. Perhaps with his past, he does not deserve to be loved by someone at all.

Agent Radnor continued to have small talk with the rest of the team while Bucky looked on silently. You were looking on the exchange with interest without saying anything. You provided smiles of reassurance to Teddy as he spoke animatedly of his admiration for the Avengers.

Your eyes suddenly met his. Blood started rushing to his cheeks as he tried his best to maintain eye contact with you. This was the most imitate way that he could have with you without actually having to talk to you. God knows what nonsense would come out of his mouth if he actually tried to have a full-length conversation with you. How you render him speechless was beyond him.

Bucky could sense that you were getting nervous, your started blinking and your eyes were fleeting. Was it too much? Did he overdo it? Bucky saw you tucking a hair behind your ear before sending him a small smile his way.

While subtle, your smile made his breath hitched. Bucky then remembered to return the same gesture and the corner of his lips went up when he saw you trying to hold back a full smile while looking on the ground.

He wished he could have seen your full smile but he was sure you did not want to attract attention from the rest. What Bucky didn’t realise was that three devious women were observing this subtle exchange between you and him. The three women let out silent gasps as their theory was confirmed.

They always thought that they were imagining it because Bucky Barnes was always trying to mask his emotions around you while you tried your hardest to do the same. Wanda had her theory first before Natasha caught on immediately. Ro was the last but boy oh boy, when she knew, she was the most excited to bring this pairing to life.

Ro glanced over to Wanda and gave her the signal by rubbing the bridge of her nose. With a wave of her hands, Wanda caused one of the nearby pipes to burst and hot air started gushing, creating a high-pitched scream.

The sound took everyone off guard and Bucky went ahead to take you into his arms when he first heard the loud burst. You immediately returned the gesture and allowed yourself to stay in the protection of his arms.

When the realization of what happened dawned upon everyone, everyone let go of their ears to turn and check on each other.

Teddy was huddled and squatting down on the floor while most of the team squirmed slightly at the outburst, given that they were more used to loud sudden noises during field operations.

You opened your eyes and your heart started to race wildly as you found yourself in close proximity of Bucky. The previous time you were so close was during the first time when you two met and he saved your life.

“You alright, doll?” Did he just called you doll? You were hearing correctly right? Bucky chided himself as he realised what he had said. Who was he to call you doll? You may not even like the name!

“I’m alright, Bucky.” Bucky’s hands were still around your shoulders.

“Thank you.” You continued and it seemed like Bucky was suddenly snapped out of a trance. He let go of you immediately and you tried to adjust yourself, looking at the ground as you couldn’t meet his eyes. 

Your exchange was not missed by Teddy who got back on his feet.

“Oops, better call maintenance.” Ro suddenly chimed in. Oops? Bucky’s brows frowned as he found Ro’s words to be weird in this situation. He looked to see Ro exchanging glances with Wanda but could not put together what was going on.

What were those girls up to?

———————————————————————

“Well, I hope you will give us a good assessment. We really are just folks trying our best to help the world.” Steve sealed the deal as he tried ending Teddy’s experience on a good note.

“Of course, Captain. I am well aware.” Teddy gave a salute to Steve to which Steve returned awkwardly with matching enthusiasm. Teddy gave the rest an acknowledging nod and you gestured for him to leave. You suggested for him to return to a private space for you to wrap up the day.

As Teddy walked up the stairs, you quickly turned back to the rest of the team and gave Steve a thumbs up. The team gave silent holler and cheers as a sign of support and you gave a reassuring expression in response. They knew you had it in the bag.

You led Teddy to one of the small meeting rooms on the office level and discussed over how the assessment will conclude. Teddy had noted down his remarks in a government issued smart tablet of his own and he informed you that he would have to come up with a more comprehensive report for submission.

You understood and thanked him for his time. As you walked Teddy out to the lobby, you continued to make small talk and caught up on what you missed in each other’s lives for the past six years.

“Well, this has been fun.” Teddy turned to face you.

“Indeed, not trying to influence you using the friend card but I really hope you can give us a fair chance on this assessment. The Avengers may look glamourous with their hero-act but there’s a lot of work that goes on behind the scene. It’s really a lot of work and sacrifice on their part, putting their lives at risk so that they can make sure those who are not able to defend themselves are given the chance to live.” You tried to conclude the assessment on a positive and sincere note.

“Spoken like a true PR representative.” Teddy spoke as he chuckled.

“No. I’m speaking as someone who really truly witnessed it first-hand.” You hoped that Teddy could hear the sincerity in your voice and know that you were speaking from your heart. Teddy was not able to find the words to respond so he just nodded in understanding.

“Well, you will hear from us in a week.”

“I look forward to it.” You gave your most heartfelt smile. You initiated to say goodbye to Teddy first, wishing him the best in his work. He returned the same gesture and he started walking off.

As you saw him leaving out the door, you turned back to head to your office after a long day. Your name was suddenly called and you could see Teddy re-entering the building again to walk up to you.

“What is it, Teddy?” You were curious to know why Teddy had returned barely after he left. Looking over, you could see Teddy nervously rubbing his hands together and cracking his knuckles. You knew this was his tell sign of nervousness back in college. Guess he still had the same habit.

“Hey, Teddy. What’s wrong?” You tried to reassure him, hoping to calm his nerves with a supporting tone of voice.

“I was- I wanted-” You kept quiet to indicate for him to continue his sentence. Teddy looked at you straight in the eyes before he spoke.

“Y/N, I was hoping after this is over, we could have dinner together. To catch up again. Would that be alright?”

“Oh Teddy…. I’m not too sure, would that be alright-” You were starting to panic. Was he suggesting this so that…

“This is not some sort of exchange in any way and it would not affect the results of the assessment.” Heaving a sigh of relief, you looked up to meet Teddy’s eyes. It was déjà vu all over again, this was exactly how he looked like when he confessed to you back in college.

“I’m not too sure Teddy-”

“Please. Would you like to give me one more chance? To prove that maybe it can work out between us. I really really like you, Y/N. I still can’t forget about you after all these years….” You wished so hard to not be in this position again. 

You weren’t sure if you wanted to agree to this, knowing that you maybe had feelings for someone else. Even if it was impossible between you and said someone.

But you couldn’t lead Teddy on when you know your heart isn’t fully in on this.

“I would let you know again. Maybe once this is over?” You tried to give a neutral answer, one that didn’t give him too much hope but also not a crushing answer. Well, it seemed to please Teddy as he had a wide grin on his face when he heard your answer.

“Alright, sure. Yeah. Should I get your number?” He suggested with his grin still full-on.

“Well, I have yours. Stark Technology and all-” You pointed to your tablet and he just nodded in understanding.

“Great, well I hope to hear from you soon. With good news.” Now it was your turn to nod and Teddy took it upon himself to bid you goodbye with a hug. You returned it and then send him off.

Releasing a big sigh out of your body, you were glad that the day was really over.

It was soon evening and it was time for you to end work. You were packing up your stuff when Friday informed you that you were wanted in the Avengers’ private quarters.

Wondering what it could be about, you swiftly made your way there. You were then greeted with the sight of Wanda and Bucky making dinner while everyone was waiting at the table.

“Y/N!” You first hear Ro’s voice before you even entered the room. The rest followed in their greetings. The smell of food immediately drew you to heading over to where the chefs were.

“Food smells so good.” Taking a deep inhale, the smell of home cook food was starting to make you growl with hunger.

“Perfect, cause it’s for you.” Natasha remarked as she was helping to set the table.

“For me?” You asked excitedly as you placed your things down and went ahead to stand beside Wanda as she was stirring something in a pot.

“Tony had to go home to take care of Morgan but he told us what you did for us today.” Natasha continued saying.

“It was nothing. Just part of my job.” You tried waving it off casually as Wanda offered you a taste test of the soup she made. You gave her a look like you were in love as the soup tasted so so good.

“Bucky is making your favourite. Mac and cheese.” You could die on the spot as mac and cheese was your ultimate comfort food. You peeked out behind Wanda’s silhouette to look at Bucky earnestly topping different layers of cheese on the macaroni.

You bit your lip, debating privately on which sight was more delicious? Stop it, Y/N. You chided yourself. This was highly inappropriate. Bucky looked up from his cooking to meet your gaze and you decided to give him an appreciative smile. “Thank you. That’s so sweet of you.

“It’s nothing.” His voice was low and muffled and sexy, oh my god, you needed to control yourself. Bucky’s entire being was doing things to your insides.

Soon, dinner was ready to be served and everyone gathered around the communal table. Everyone started digging in and fell into conversation immediately. As everyone was having second rounds, Natasha who was sitting across you spoke up.

“So how do you think the assessment went?” Natasha asked you with a curious gleam in her eye, as if she was expecting something.

“It was good, I think we can expect good results. Teddy really seemed impressed by what we have here.” Your friends nodded as they listened to your answer.

“Or more specifically, he’s impressed by what we have here.” Ro looked at you with an all-knowing grin.

“Ro! Teddy and I are old friends but college besides that would have been entirely inappropriate. He’s here to do his job.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time someone mixed work and pleasure.” Sam sent you a smug look as he wriggled his eyebrows. You scoffed at what he was insinuating and shook your head while reaching out for a glass of water.

“So?” Natasha drawled out the word as she asked. You made a frowning-confused face and tilted your head to signal for her to continue. “That’s it?”

You knew exactly where she was steering to in the conversation and you could back out of it, but you knew she will stop at nothing to get answers out of someone. Placing down your cup, you let out an exhale as you held onto your temple as if you had a headache.

“Teddy asked me out.” You weren’t surprised when your friends let out gasps at your revelation. Well more so on the girls and perhaps Sam. Vision, Steve and Bucky had neutral expressions worn on their faces.

“Please, are you really surprise?” Your eyes averted to the girls who seemed more excited at what you had just revealed.

“I’m surprise he got the balls even. He might have gained some respect from me.” Natasha coolly remarked as she took another bite of her food. Such savagery….

“Hey, Teddy is not so bad!” You protested.

“You gained a soft spot for him?” Natasha calmly quipped back.

“Come on, I’ve been friends with him throughout college. He is odd at times but he’s harmless.”

“Like a Teddy bear?” Sam chimed in. His words gained many laughter and he even tried giving high-fives to show off his wit.

“I’m not going to talk to you people if you’re going on like this!” You threatened to back out of the room. Pulling your chair out, you started to clean your own dish and you could hear the rest of the group continued on their chatter. You could hear Steve reprimanding the rest like a disappointed parent at his kids’ behaviour.

Bless Steve.

As you returned to the table, Natasha spoke up again. “So are you going to say yes to the date?” You knew everyone could sense your hesitation and your eyes went to Bucky who had a passive expression on his face. Oh god….

“I don’t know, Nat.”

“What do you mean know?” Ro continued. “He’s not expecting you to go on a date to get a better assessment, is he? If not, I WILL-” Ro went on to mimic a punching gesture with both hands and Steve had to calm her by pressing down on both her hands.

“Yo Y/N. That won’t be cool, I’mma also-” Sam went on to make his own gesture of beating Teddy to a pulp. Steve once shook his head at the immaturity of his friends but he held a serious look as he turned to you. He was indeed worried if it was really the case.

“No-no, Teddy wouldn’t. He said it’s not like that. He just wants to reconnect.” You tried to calm your two rather rash (but loyal) friends.

“Do you want to?” This time Wanda was the one who spoke up. Taking a moment to seriously think about it, you figured what was the harm on going on one date with Teddy? Would it really be that bad? If you don’t feel the same way, you could always settle it there and then.

Why were you denying yourself at a chance at love again? You figured it you could start dating again. “Maybe. I don’t know. I should try, should I? It’s been awhile….”

“Listen to your heart, sweetie.” Wanda reached out to hold your hand dearly. You smile gratefully at her support.

“I will think about it, anyways I told him I will give him an answer once this is over. So I still have time.” You said to reassure your friends. You tried redirecting the conversation away from this topic and continued to spend a little more time with your friends.

Bucky Barnes tried his hardest all evening to not falter. Hearing that agent had asked you out stirred up some emotions within him. He realised you were not going to be available forever. An amazing woman like you will catch the eyes of other and eventually they will make a move to ask you out.

Bucky caught Steve glancing over at him. Even without talking, he knew what his friend was trying to tell him. Go for her before you lose your chance, punk! Steve while terrible with dealing with women except for his own girlfriend was not stupid. He was still able to read the room and more importantly, his childhood friend.

Steve always had his suspicions. He noticed how Bucky’s eyes fleet to you immediately when you entered the room and how they lingered too long for it to be a normal behaviour. Bucky was eager to greet for you even if it didn’t look like it. Bucky while accustomed to the team, was still reserved with strangers.

Steve could see that Bucky was always conscious of how he acted around you. You might not have noticed but Bucky always tried to look out for you in his own subtle way. Perhaps, it was not easy for his best friend who sometimes remained in the dark shadows of his thoughts, believing that he did not deserve to be happy with someone because of his past.

Steve knew Bucky wants to be loved by someone special and that he deserved to be loved. He just wants this punk to not sit around and wait any longer.

You decided to call it a night and wanted to return home. The girls were whining for you to stay and asked why you could not stay at the compound for good. There were plenty of rooms in the private quarters for you to call your own.

You refused, saying that you deserved your own quiet space away from dealing with this chaotic energy (referring to the team). Ro protested at your words but you just laughed it off and bid farewell to everyone.

Steve looked over to Bucky and with the power of eye contact and practically 90 over years of friendship, signalled non-verbally to Bucky that he should take action. Wanda’s voice popped up and stated that you had forgotten your car keys on the counter.

Raising his hand up, Steve indicated for Wanda to pass it over to him. Wanda gave him a smirk before using her powers to push the keys onto Bucky. Steve gave an approving nod at what she did and both people turned to Bucky to give him a ‘what are you waiting for?’ look.

Clutching the car keys in his hands, Bucky got out of his seat and gingerly made his way to the garage. He took in deep breaths as he quickened his steps in hopes of catching up to you.

Luckily, you were not far along and heading for the elevator. He called for your name and you were surprised to see him. Bucky took the last few steps to face you and he look down on the ground for a moment to adjust himself.

“You forgot your keys.” He started off nervously as he stretched out his hands to pass it to you. Your mouth made an ‘o’ shape as you realised why he even came up to you in the first place. You let out a nervous laugh and took it from him, not forgetting to thank him as well.

“It’s nothing.” Bucky replied. Silence followed with awkward tension.

“I gotta go, can’t wait to be back in bed.” You tried to break the silence. There was another pregnant pause and you chided yourself for even trying. This was going nowhere.

“Yes, you had a long day.” Bucky tried coming up with another response. No use forcing it, this was even more awkward than the time Teddy confessed to you. You heart sank in disappointment. Should you even try? Were you willing to give it up before giving it a try with Bucky?

Bucky’s movement snapped you out of your inner thoughts as he began to make his way back. He gave you a once over and nodded to bid you goodbye once more.

The words were at the tip of your tongue. You wondered if you should-

“Hey Bucky.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks and immediately turned his body back to face you. What could you possibly call him for? He made his way back to you and stood face to face to you. His eyes bore into yours and you had to take a gulp before gathering courage to speak.

“Should I go?” Your question caused Bucky to be all confused and you then realised you weren’t clear enough.

“Should I go on the date with Teddy?” While your question was indirect, but you were hoping he got the drift. If he liked you any one bit, he would not let you go on the date. If he had any ounce of interest in you, he would stop you right?

Your held strong eye contact with him, trying to gauge his feelings through non-verbal cues as you figured he was trying to come up with an answer. Seconds felt like hours, he did not give you an answer.

You let out a low chuckle. What an idiot you must have sound like? Why would Bucky care about your date at all?

“I’m sorry. I’m asking stupid questions. Goodnight Bucky.” You made your way to press the elevator and stood right in front of the lift. You hoped Bucky would just leave and save yourself from more humiliation.

As your elevator came to your floor, you were going to take one step in when you felt a hand grabbing onto your wrist. You turned to see Bucky with a slightly panicked look on his face.

“Don’t go.” You scrunched your face into a confused expression as you tried to understand what he meant. His next words caused your heart to skip a beat and the corners of your lips to move up.

“Don’t go on that date with him.”

———————————————————————

Hello my readers! You didn’t think this was the end, did you? Thanks for sticking till this end of this long ass one-shot!

Here’s the bonus epilogue for this story.

You sat in the corner of a café that you looked up online. It was a third-generation family business that had the best pastries in New York. You pick on the loose threads of your yellow gingham midi dress as you waited for your date.

The bell of the café rung to signal the arrival of a new customer. You looked up to see a man in a dark outfit of black and blue. Black jacket over a blue t-shirt and dark washed out jeans. He was wearing a glove on his left hand and an eager smile on his face.

Bucky made his way towards you and first complimented on how beautiful you looked. You returned the same compliment and ravelled in how he easily embarrassed he was at the slightest praise.

The two of you went ahead to the counter, picking out a few sweet treats and two iced coffee. When your order was set on the table, you went ahead to cut a slice of cake and offered to him first.

Bucky eagerly took it and your heart melted at the bashful boyish grin he donned. The two of you fell into an easy conversation and you brought up something on your mind.

“These pastries are so good; we should get some more and you can bring it back for the rest of the team.” Bucky nodded in agreement as he took a sip of his drink.

“You know, Natasha had something to do with bringing Teddy in that day.” Your statement had Bucky’s attention on you. “Yeah, she told me a few days after. Trust her to use her skills to do something like that.” You laughed before continuing explaining.

Apparently, Natasha had a hand in making sure Teddy replaced his colleague for the assessment that very day. When questioned if she had any intention to bring you and Teddy together in the first place, she laughed and shook her head. She always intended for this plan to push you and Bucky towards the right direction.

She believed that if Bucky realised you cannot always be there and will eventually end up with someone else possibly, he will stop being in denial. Bucky commented that Natasha truly was a work of wonder and said that he was eternally grateful for her intervention.

Bucky reached over to hold your hand with this flesh hand but you went ahead to also grab his gloved vibranium hand too. It was your way of telling him that you accepted him whole-heartedly and loved him very much.

Bucky brought both your hands up to place multiple kisses and tell you how he really felt. He knew he shouldn’t hold back his feelings anymore and that you deserved to know how important you are to him.

“Doll, you’re the best thing that happened to me.”

———————————————————————

[thedeviltohisangel]

Whiskey In A Teacup/1

When Santi first got out of the military, he hadn’t known what to think of his options. There was always the option of giving up and going back in. The option to join a shadowy private military company. Go into private security. Go on the recruiting circuit. Maybe even become a cop. But none of them seemed like the best path. They all seemed like giving up. He had been trained by his country to be an elite, lethal machine. Being anything but the best felt like a cop out. So when an old friend of his reached out with an offer from the Secret Service, he accepted it on the spot.

masterlist is my url/writing or on ao3

send me any one shot requests for these two

When Santi first got out of the military, he hadn’t known what to think of his options. There was always the option of giving up and going back in. The option to join a shadowy private military company. Go into private security. Go on the recruiting circuit. Maybe even become a cop. But none of them seemed like the best path. They all seemed like giving up. He had been trained by his country to be an elite, lethal machine. Being anything but the best felt like a cop out. So when an old friend of his reached out with an offer from the Secret Service, he accepted it on the spot.

----

The election had recently ended with a brand new administration being ushered into the White House. Pope thought he looked cookie cutter. Like he was aging perfectly, his wife wasn’t aging at all and his family had all done Cotillion. He was in an empty conference room flipping through the personnel files that had been left for him before he waited for his friend to pick him up for whatever orientation he had to go through. 

“Santi! Glad you were able to make it in.” He stood and shook his friend’s hand, happy to have someone to talk to.

“Yeah and was cleared to read the briefing materials,” he answered as he dropped the folder back down onto the table. 

“Good. So the basics are out of the way. Now, I vouched for you hard with leadership and they want you on the detail. Close circle, last line of defense type of shit.

“Perfect. Exactly the stakes you know I’m cut out for.” 

“I know that. But the future First Lady doesn’t.” Santi furrowed his brow.

“Why does that matter?” His friend cleared his throat.

“She has requested she look every agent in the inner circle in the eye before they are officially assigned. Protective wife and mama bear.” 

“You’re not saying the debutante daughters are included in my assignment are you?” Santiago hoped he wasn’t. They looked like stuck up brats and he would rather join Will on the speech circuit than put up with attitudes like that.

“I’m saying the other agents have been tripping over themselves to try and get conversations with the older one.” His friend pointed at her picture on the table.

“That’s disgusting,” Pope whined. “How do I get her approval? I got to wait a week for an appointment?”

“Her and the daughters are at a photoshoot right now for the cover of Vogue. Said she would talk to you there.”

“Great.” It would be one of his more unconventional interviews but Santi was eager. Chomping at the bit to get back in the game. Feel useful again. Devote his life to something other than thinking about the past. 

----

The people allowed on the set were few. His friend introduced him to a few other agents and pointed to where the incoming First Lady was smiling for the camera.

“Let’s find somewhere we can wait for her to be done.” Santi kept his head down, smiling politely and shaking hands where appropriate, as they made their way towards the rooms in the back of the studio. There were two agents standing outside a door, nodding once as they let Santi and his friend into the room.

“Marnie, can you help me zip?” The female voice was coming from behind the dressing screen in the corner. Both men looked at each other, not sure what the appropriate thing to say was.

“Sorry, ma’am, we can go-”

“No that’s fine. I think I can do it myself.” Pope stayed silent as the woman, he thinks it was Penelope, stepped out in a beautiful blush pink dress that hugged her like it was made for her. He hates that his mouth ran dry and his tongue felt thick. But he pushed it aside as quickly as it came. “You’re new. And not in a suit. A friend of yours, Sam?”

“Yes ma’am. This is Santiago Garcia. Old Army buddy. He is here for a job interview.” 

“A pleasure to meet you ma’am.” Santiago extended his hand and Penelope shook it even though her eyes were rolling.

“So stupid she makes all of you talk to her first. But I guess that’s why I am not in charge,” Penelope shrugged. “I’m sure it will go well and I’ll see you around, Santiago.”

“Santi,” he blurted out before he could stop himself. “Just...Santi.”

“Santi,” she whispered like she was just testing it out. “The pleasure was all mine.” She smiled as she spun, the skirt flying around her like a Disney movie, and then she was out the door and gone.

“Isn’t she something?” Sam mused as he still stared at the door she had just disappeared through.

“Beautiful. And probably a troublemaker,” Pope replied. 

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” his friend teased with a slap on his back. The sad thing was, he thinks he did.

----

Penelope hated that no such privacy existed in her life anymore. It hadn’t for awhile but it had only gotten worse in the past month since her father won the election. Even now, lying in bed flipping through fashion magazines, there were people bustling in and out to pack her stuff for the move. People asking which fabric and color she thought looked best for her inauguration dress. If she liked this or that singer for the National Anthem and if she thought her peers would find this or that choice relatable. She answered with a smile and took it all in stride but couldn’t wait to shut the door and go to bed. But even there she dreamt of flags and men in suits and waving until her arm felt like it was going to fall off. There was no such thing as privacy and there was no such thing as peace. Penelope felt she was no longer her own person but everyone’s. They told her that’s what being in the first family meant. But she didn’t like it and she didn’t want it. 

“Ma’am?” It sounded like her new assistant on the other side of the door.

“Yes?” Penny had just started winding down for the night. Her face was soft from copious amounts of moisturizer. Her hair was fluffy after she took her time drying it. Her silk nightgown was kissing her legs with every step. She was tired. She wanted to curl up in a ball under a pile of blankets and dream of simpler times.

“Your new agent is here. I just wanted to introduce you before he started his first shift.” Penelope sighed and moved back towards her closet to find a knit robe that would help protect at least some of her humility.

“You can come in.” She recognized him instantly as the handsome man from the Vogue set. He looked even better now. Well groomed and in a suit that must have been tailored by an old school professional.

“Ma’am this is-”

“Santiago,” Penelope said before the introduction could be finished. “I’m glad to see the interview went well.”

“Thank you, ma’am.”

“We’re practically the same age. Any other title other than ma’am would work better.” He made her blush just by looking at her. It was tragic and sad. That she had to meet him like this. That he had to be someone that worked for her father. That he had to be stoic and professional all the time. That they hadn’t just met in a bar on a Saturday night or bumped into each other at a mutual friend’s backyard picnic. 

“Of course. I’ll think on it and get back to you,” he offered with a smile.

“Agent Garcia is on interior duty tonight but I am sure you’ll get used to his presence quickly, ma’am.” She didn’t bother correcting her assistant. She didn’t care what she called her.

“I look forward to it.”

----

“Alright let’s go over Polar’s schedule for the day.” It had been a couple of days since Santi had started and so far he was enjoying it. His fellow agents were nice enough and had a similar sense of humor to him. Many of them had even served and it was nice to swap stories with people other than the men in his unit. He was posted close to the action and was never really bored. Penelope was his principle. Her safety was his only priority most days and he was by her side at morning show appearances, fancy dinners with campaign donors and visits to DC elementary schools. Things were moving faster and tighter the closer they got to the inauguration. 

They hadn’t spoken much since his first night. Just nods and smiles as they made elusive eye contact throughout the day. She was beautiful. That was the simplest way for Santi to describe her. The most professional way. It was wrong but he wanted to know more about her. Learn what made her life. Made her cry. What she liked to eat and what she would order at McDonalds. Santi was someone full of life and warmth and love for those around him. Sometimes it was hard to be so cold. He hadn’t had to be so since he retired from the military. It was dredging up old feelings from the past. But he was more concerned how he felt more comfortable than he had before. How being alert and hearing radio static and a gun at his hip made him feel more at ease than the creature comforts of home ever could.

“We’ve got a pilates class, Skype call with a dress designer and then a private dinner.”

“Private dinner?” Santi hadn’t heard that on the schedule before and it made his ears perk up.

“She’s been seeing this guy-”

“Kind of a douche,” one of the other agents chimed in.

“-and it's very underwraps, very lowkey.”

“We normally draw straws or play rock, paper, scissors to see who has to take it.” Santi furrowed his brow as all the comments flooded his system.

“What’s so awful about a dinner date?” he asked, almost afraid of the answer.

“It’s the company she keeps,” one chimed in.

“He’s dull and chews weird.”

“Hurts to listen to and hurts to watch.” They all groaned in unison.

“I’ll take it then. The watching and listening part.” He was a low man on the totem pole anyways but he was also curious. He wanted to see this train wreck with his own two eyes. He took the file when it was offered, leaving the room when they were dismissed.

“Curiosity killed the cat, you know,” Sam muttered as he fell into step next to him.

“I know. This will satiate me,” Santi replied.

----

He stood dutifully by the car, waiting to open the door for Penelope whenever she was ready to go. The twisted part of him was excited to see how this night played out. Maybe it would at least be worth the good story. How the beautiful first daughter dated a slob and he was paid to be a third wheel.

“Santiago? I didn’t expect to see you here tonight.” Her fingers tightened around her clutch as she squared her shoulders to face him. 

“Yes…” he froze when he remembered he had agreed to not refer to her as ma’am.

“Still thinking of something else to call me?” she asked with a smirk. Penelope didn’t wait for him to respond and instead slipped under his arm and into the backseat of her car. 

The drive was dead silent. Santi felt awkward but knew this was a part of the job he would have to get used to. She wasn’t his friend. Wasn’t a girl he had picked up at a bar. She was his top priority in the least romantic way possible. He would take a bullet for her. When they arrived at the restaurant he moved swiftly to open her door and escort her into the dining room. They moved towards the back where a man was sitting alone. He looked like a college lacrosse player to Santi. In the most stereotypical of ways. His hands itched to pull Penelope’s seat out for her when her date didn’t, his eyes going to the menu instead of complementing the black dress she was wearing. Maybe he had been wrong. Maybe this was going to be torture.

[sierraraeck]

The Second Case (Pt.1)

BAU x OC Aundreya

Masterlist | Series Masterlist

(This is my gif so please give credit if used)

Summary: The second case with the team means revisiting Aundreya’s hometown of Chicago. It quickly becomes personal and requires her to use connections and skills she acquired on the streets. Story two.

Category: Just working a case with the team

Warnings: Normal CM gore. A case involving young teenage girls. Mentions of drugs. Cussing.

Word Count: 4.8k

A/N: Just a reminder that this is all 100% fiction and I don’t actually know how gangs work.

I did start with the team that Monday, and while I was used to things moving fast, their version of ‘briefing’ was a whole new ball game. The first case felt a lot more like a dry run than anything. I honestly felt kinda useless. They all talked so fast, especially Spencer when he rambled facts or had revelations about something the rest of us didn’t understand. As promised, I was stuck in the precinct for the entire week practically, with plenty of badges around to watch me. And trust me, all of them did. I was back at the bottom of the food chain, a feeling I hadn’t experienced in almost a decade. It was infuriating, but I was just glad to be out in the world. Mostly.

Even though the team had supposedly voted to allow me to join them, it definitely didn’t feel that way. No one hardly talked to me. I mean, Morgan and Reid didn’t even so much as look at me, and when they did, it was only to give me a weird look everytime I said something, even when I was right. Especially when I was right.

But I brushed all of that off when I realized what the next case was. We would be headed right back to Chicago, probably the last place someone like me wanted to be seen with Feds.

Garcia flashed three bodies up on the screen. “Abigail Meyers, Josie Wilson, and Mya Burns. All three were found in their backyards, multiple stab wounds, and their throats slashed.”

“Do you have an age on these girls?” Morgan asked.

“Yes. Abigail and Josie were 15, Mya was 14.”

“They had each been reported missing in the morning and were found dead later that evening,” Hotch said.

“Our unsub would have to be sophisticated enough to be able to get the girls back into their own backyards later that night without being detected by the cops or the parents, since they would all be on high alert for the girls to return in case they had just run off,” Reid said. “Any connection between the three?”

“Besides geography, I haven’t found anything, but as always I will keep digging,” Penelope responded.

“What is that in their right hand?” JJ asked. I directed my attention to what she was talking about. Garcia pulled up another photo zoomed in on their right hands. “Apparently, all three had been stabbed straight through their hand.”

“And our unsub just left the knife through their hand at the crime scene?” Derek asked.

“Switchblade,” I corrected before he could get his answer. They all looked over at me. “I’ve seen something like this before. It’s been a while, but this was the signature of a rival gang, the Angels, in Chicago before ours took it over.”

“Stabbing the girls multiple times and leaving the murder weapon was a gang signature?” Rossi asked me.

“No. Not the multiple stabbings. For a gang member that would take too long. But the blade through the hand? That’s definitely a signature,” I replied.

“Okay, so if this is gang related, why the rest of it? The kidnapping, the stabbing, the dump sight...” Jennifer trailed off.

“I don’t know, but three victims in five days? This guy clearly doesn’t need much of a cooling off period,” Prentiss chimed in.

“Exactly, which means we need to act fast. Wheels up in 30.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

When we landed, I went right to the precinct with Aaron and JJ. The rest went to the crime scenes or to talk to the ME.

“I’m SSA Hotchner and this is Agent Jareau and Chambers,” Aaron introduced. The head of the department shook my hand, but held it for a little too long.

“Do I know you from somewhere?” the man asked me.

I shook my head. “No, I don’t believe so.”

“Are you sure? I feel like I know of a Chambers,” he pressed.

“Sorry. I think you’ve got the wrong girl,” I replied. He must’ve been new because if he had been there even two years ago, I’m sure people still would have been talking about me. I was just thankful the FBI made good on their promise to keep my escape and new employee status under the rug. JJ and Hotch looked at me, but I just shrugged them off. As if they didn’t already know I enjoyed lying to new people about who I was. I followed them into the office where we were supposed to set up. They already had a board up with pictures and information about the victims. That’s when Garica called.

“I regret to inform you of this, sir, but another girl has just gone missing. Her name is Jayana Orion…” I stopped listening. Jayana Orion. I hadn’t heard her name in a while. She was supposed to be my responsibility. When her mother, one of the only real friends I made during my 7 years on the streets, died, she asked me to do one thing for her, and that was protect her daughter. Of course, Sydney’s husband, Todd, was still around to help take care of her, but she knew that I would be able to handle the possible threats to Jayana better than he would. Instead, I made a dumb decision which left me in a prison where I could no longer help them. And now I had completely failed her.

“... Chambers?” I was snapped back to reality, Aaron trying to get my attention. “What do you think?”

“Sorry, about what?” I asked. I was going to have to compose myself if I didn’t want them picking up on this.

“Reid called from the ME saying that each girl had cocaine in their systems. Does that mean anything to you?”

“Other than cocaine being a popular street drug, no,” I said, still distracted. “Do we know anything else about Jayana?”

“Garcia is looking into it and Rossi is talking to her father now. If he sticks to schedule, we have until tonight to find her.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

“So according to their phone records and laptops, all three girls were talking about how unhappy they were with their parents, but I’ve found no contact between them that is the same,” Garcia said.

“All of their parents agreed that they had been distant lately,” Rossi said.

“So, what? These girls get mad and just decide to run? It sounds to me like this would have to be a stalker,” Prentiss said.

“Yeah, but that doesn’t fit with our gang affiliated profile,” Jareau said.

“Well maybe we got it wrong. Maybe this guy isn’t gang affiliated and just picked up on one of their signatures. I mean, there are no markings claiming responsibility, and no MO that matches a gang to the T,” Morgan offered. I could tell by his undertone that he somewhat enjoyed the idea of me being wrong.

“I still don’t understand. Why the shallow cuts on the arms?” Rossi asked. The room went silent and out of habit, I started scratching my own arm. Wait, my arm. That’s when it hit me. The cuts, the cocaine, the blade through the hand, the backyard...

“Garcia, are you still on the line?” I asked.

“Sure am,” she called.

“Where did you say their phones pinged from last?” Garcia started rattling off places as I dotted them on the map. I could feel the stares on my back as I worked. I turned to face the team. “I think this guy is trying to initiate these girls.”

“What?” Morgan looked at me like I had grown a third arm.

“Yeah. The last place these girls phones pinged are from designated street corners. Each girl stood at a different pick up zone for the Angels initiation. I didn’t immediately put it together because the Angels have been disbanded for almost 8 years. During most initiations, new members ditch their phones, and are forced to take some sort of stimulant or hallucinogenic to make them more compliant. Usually new recruits are asked multiple questions while under the influence so the gang can gage if they think they will be loyal to them or not. If people don’t pass they are usually just released. Traitors, on the other hand, are punished severely. They are usually dumped at a place of significance to them or their partners as a warning. In this case, the place of significance is their own backyard. The blade through the hand was just a way the Angels marked their traitors,��� I said.

“So while this guy has them, he initiates them, and then thinks they have betrayed him in some way,” Derek said.

“Which causes him to lash out, which is why we see the overkill, but continues with the rest of the procedures,” Spencer finished.

“That’s great and all, but we still don’t know why he cuts their arms,” Rossi pointed out.

“Well, most initiations have recruits cut themselves and bleed on to, or in to, something of value and importance to the gang, solidifying their loyalty. Plus, most veteran gang members have plenty of cuts on their arms from training accidents or rival gang encounters,” I answered, realizing too late what I’d just invited everyone to do. They all dropped their gaze to my forearms to confirm my theory, which were exposed due to my rolled up sleeves. I quickly tugged them down to cover the small scars littering my arms.

“So that explanation does fit, but how is he finding his victims? Garcia said she found no mutual contact between the girls, but he would have to have some sort of prior contact with them for them to know exactly which street corner to stand on,” JJ said.

“Or maybe these are just victims of opportunity? If these girls ran from their homes, they could have just ended up on the wrong street corner,” Prentiss suggested.

“Or what if there’s a second unsub?” Aaron said. “We profiled initially that this was a gang member. We then completely contradicted our profile and changed to a stalker who would know they were unhappy at home and were just waiting for them to get out of the house. But we could be looking at one of each. A stalker who does all of his contact in person, letting them know what street corner to stand on, then either he or the former gang member picks the girls up and brings them to a second location where they are initiated and killed.”

“Okay, so if there are two of them, finding the stalker is going to lead us to our killer. But where would he go once he’s already delivered a girl to the gang member?” Derek asked.

“He’s probably already stalking his next victim,” Reid said.

“Maybe not,” I proposed. “At the rate these guys are working, they would have already had to know who they wanted to take. I mean, I don’t think this stalker guy can figure out that these girls are having constant trouble at home in just under 24 hours.”

“So what are you thinking?” Emily asked.

“In a gang, there are multiple levels of people. The people in charge of recruiting usually have a certain block or region that they cover looking for vulnerable people they can recruit. So once this guy sees these girls out and around his area, he takes it to another level by stalking them, probably at night when they are with their family. But during the day? He could still be scoping out people in his region,” I said.

“So how are we going to narrow it down? There are plenty of creepy guys on the streets to choose from,” Emily said.

“True. But if things haven’t changed too much in the past 4 years since the last time I was here, I’m pretty sure I know someone who can help us out.”

# # # # # # # # # # # # #

It took a lot of convincing for Aaron, and frankly the rest of the team members, to agree to this. I wasn’t supposed to be out in the field, definitely not this soon after joining the team, but I knew someone who could help and we were running out of time. Deen had been a loyal member of the Cloaks and later joined my ring of elite criminals as an expert in laundering money. He was one of the most important pieces that kept the streets going. While he was great at laundering, he was better at listening. Somehow, he just seemed to hear and pick up on everything. I knew that if agents showed up, or even if I showed up with one, there was no way I was getting any information out of him. Hell, I was worried he wouldn’t even talk to me alone after this many years. But it was my best shot if I wanted to save Jayana.

“We’re going to a bookstore?” Morgan questioned.

“It’s his front,” I answered. It made me uncomfortable to have to give the FBI this much information on Deen. He and I always worked as a well oiled machine and I wasn’t ready to betray his trust. I was trying to give out as little information about him as possible. I hadn’t even told them his name.

“We are going to have to wire you,” Aaron said.

“No! You can’t do that,” I said.

“We can’t just let you in there to talk to some old gang friend without a wire,” Aaron said.

“You have to. I mean, I’m even worried that he’s not going to talk to me after this many years, and if he’s heard anything about my escape or joining the FBI, which there’s a chance he has, the whole plan is screwed. Plus, he’ll probably know that I’m wearing one.”

“How? Unless you alert him that you're wearing one, he shouldn't know,” Morgan stated.

“If he doesn’t know, he’ll probably check. Then we’ll lose him as a reliable contact now, and potentially in the future,” I countered. “Plus, you already have Reid and Jareau in there pretending to be customers in case anything goes wrong, or you think I’m going to try something.”

I had a point and they both knew it. It wasn’t like I was walking into a trap or like he’d set a bomb in there or anything. I wouldn’t be surprised if he had set a bomb for emergency purposes, but the team didn’t need to know that. If anything, he was sitting in the middle of my trap, which had always been one of my specialties. The car slowed to a stop and I got out about a block from the store.

“Remember, you are going in there for one purpose and one purpose only,” Aaron started.

“To figure out where this stalker guy is. Yeah. I got it,” I said. I crossed the street catty-corner and pushed open the glass doors. I immediately spotted Reid standing in one of the isles, skimming through a book, and JJ sitting down in a chair just a few feet from the entrance. Neither turned to look at me, already getting the message through their ear piece that I’d entered the building. It felt stupid that this seemed like a whole undercover operation when all I was doing was talking to someone who could help us save Jayana. But I guess it showed how much they didn’t trust me, and the people I was in contact with.

I confidently walked over to the customer service desk and looked the kid up and down. He was probably just out of high school and was definitely a new recruit.

“Hey, can I speak to your manager?” I asked.

He looked up at me. “Is there a problem?”

I grabbed the hem of my t-shirt and the top of my waistband and quickly flashed him the tattoo over my left hip bone. His eyes went wide. “No. There’s no problem. I would just like to speak with him if that’s alright.”

“Uh, sure, ma’am. I’ll, uh, be right back,” the kid croaked, stumbling over his words and rushing toward the door that was labeled ‘Employees Only.’ The tattoo was of a double infinity sign inside a two-ringed circle. The symbol on the left hip bone identified who was a part of my underground ring. The second ring of my circle signified that I was the leader. Deen had a second ring with dashed lines, to show that he was second in command, and as of now, in charge.

I recognized his walk first. Deen had been shot in the knee and it never healed correctly, so he always had this extra bounce to the way he walked. He shaved all of his facial hair and let his jet black hair grow a little longer than I was used to. But his cat-like green eyes were exactly the same. I almost felt relieved when he pulled me into a giant hug. He was just an inch or so shorter than me, which always made me smile when he had to reach slightly up. You’d think all gang members were cold-hearted and ruthless, which Deen could be at times, but he’d always treated me like a younger sister. A younger sister who was in charge.

“Damn, girl! It’s been too long. What the hell are you doing here, I thought for sure you’d be eaten alive in there!” God I’d missed that slight Spanish accent.

“Oh how I have missed that confidence booster,” I teased.

“You know that’s not what I meant. You could kick anyone’s ass any day. Including mine. But seriously, what are you doing here?” He quickly dropped his voice and his expression became more serious, losing the slight shock that was there a few moments ago from seeing me for the first time in a while.

“I wish I were here under better circumstances,” I started.

“But when has that ever worked out for us?”

“Very true,” I agreed. I leaned in closer to him and dropped my voice to a whisper. “I actually need some information.”

“What kind of information?”

“I’m looking for someone.” Deen glanced around the room and his eyes landed on Reid and Jennifer.

“What is going on?” he asked. I knew that he was going to start putting things together soon, so I had to get him to focus on the matter at hand.

“You remember Sydney, yeah?”

“Of course. How could I forget her?”

“Her daughter, Jayana, is missing,” I said.

“Well, have you spoken to Todd?”

“Yes, do you think I’m an idiot, of course, but he doesn’t know anything.”

“You don’t want me to answer that,” he responded playfully. I’d missed our ability to banter in the middle of a crisis, our way of keeping each other’s head above water. “So what do you need my help for?”

“I need you to help me find a guy.”

“There are a shit ton of guys around here, you’re going to have to be more specific,” Deen said. I rolled my eyes at his dry humor.

“Yeah, you jackass, I know that, but if you’d just shut up and let me finish. You remember where the Angels used to set up? The corners where they’d pick up new recruits?”

“Sure.”

“Well, have you seen anyone you don’t really recognize hanging around those spots?”

“Alionth-” he started.

“Aundreya,” I quickly corrected. I flinched slightly at the sound of the stage name I’d given myself once I took over the gang and pushed it way underground. I hadn’t heard it in so long and I didn’t want to be reminded of the last time someone used it.

“Come with me,” he commanded, taking my hand and dragging me behind the ‘Employees Only’ door. “What is going on? You show up out of nowhere asking for information on a guy that I’m sure you could scope out yourself, ask me to call you by your old gang name, and there are two customers in the store who have been here for too long and kept glancing over at us. What has happened to Jayana and why are you here?”

I knew he would start picking up on stuff. “Look. I’ve been out for only a few weeks-” I started.

“Oh yeah! That too! How the hell are you here because I’d bet my life they didn’t just let you go,” Deen asked. He stared right into me, daring me to lie to him.

“I escaped,” I said. His face contorted and he took a small step back.

“You what now?”

“You heard me.”

“That’s impossible. Most people can’t even get out of normal prison let alone ADX.”

“Well I’m here aren’t I?”

“How’d you do it?”

“Can we please focus?” I was getting restless. I knew they were only going to give me a limited amount of time out of sight and earshot before they burst in. Plus, I could feel the time slipping by, each moment as important as the last if we were going to find Jayana alive. “Look. Jayana is my responsibility. It was the last thing Sydney asked me to do and she is in a lot of trouble. If you do not help me, I will have failed Sydney’s dying wish of protecting her daughter. So will you please just answer my questions?”

Deen gave me a skeptical look, but based off the one I gave him, he knew better than to keep pressing for answers. “Yeah. I’ve seen a guy hanging around.”

“Do you know his name?”

He hesitated before answering, “Ben-somethin’.”

“Could you describe him to me?”

“Short, probably my height or a little shorter. White. Dressed like a bad boy wannabe. And now that you mention it, he was hanging around the Angels' old spots.”

“During the day?”

“Sort of. He’d be there early in the morning, then leave during the middle of the day, come back in the evening, then leave during the middle of the night. Like clockwork,” Deen said. I could always count on him to be observant.

“Would you happen to know where he is now?” I asked.

“Those aren’t customers in my store, are they?” he replied, changing the subject. Instead of answering him, I put my hands behind my head and turned around. “Don’t worry, I know you’re not wired. I already checked that.”

Right, the hug earlier. “So you’re telling me you didn’t actually want a hug?” I pouted.

He laughed. “No, I did. It was multi-purpose.” We stood there staring at each other for a while before I decided to break the silence.

“Look, I’m sorry. I didn’t tell them anything about you, not even your name. I tried my best to shield your face from them as well,” I said.

“And as long as I help you out, I’m in the clear,” Deen finished my train of thought. I nodded. He was handling this a lot better than I expected. Maybe leadership over the course of the past four years helped mellow him out. “Damn. I’d heard rumors but I thought that was all they were.”

“I’m still the same person you knew from four years ago. Still doing what I have to do to survive in the best way I can.” He was silent for a while, probably trying to gage how much he still trusted me. “Please, help me. Help Jayana. Just tell me where you think he’d be, and I will get out of here and take those unwanted customers with me.”

He started nodding. “Fine. Fine. I think he’s moving in a star pattern. Starting at the bottom left, then moving up to the point, bottom right, and so on. I still can’t figure out his pattern when it comes to picking up the girls, but if he’s keeping to his usual schedule, he should be at the far right point today. But,” he said checking his watch, “not for long. You might have 40 minutes max before he leaves again.”

I did my best to retain everything he told me. “Wait, how long have you been watching this guy? I mean, how many girls has he picked up?” Deen was like no other when it came to tracking patterns and people on the street, but not even he was good enough to figure out something that intricate in 5 days.

“I don’t know. A couple months or so. I didn’t start realizing he was picking up girls until a few weeks ago.” This had been going on for a couple months? Where were all the other girls then?

“Thank you so much for this. I hope I can come back soon under different circumstances,” I said, already halfway out the door and back into the store. He came behind me and grabbed my arm, turning me so that I was looking at him.

“I hope you can too, Aundreya, but I swear to God, if anyone finds out I cooperated with Feds, or this place goes under because of this-”

“It won’t. And once they trust me more there will be no reason for them to be on my back all the time and I can come here without a plus two. And if something happens, which it won’t, but if it does, you know how to contact me. Over my undead body,” I said. Deen gave me a half smile at our old phrase, which we used to remind each other that we were loyal to the end. Lucky for us, the end always seemed to mean that of our enemies.

“Over our undead bodies,” he said with a nod. I walked toward the entrance where Spencer and Jennifer were still acting like customers. They were supposed to wait until I had exited, then slowly make their departures after me to try and make it look natural. But considering Deen already knew, and as a show of good faith to him, I decided I’d make it easier.

“C’mon guys. Let’s get outta here,” I said, waiting by the door.

They both looked at me like I’d lost my mind, Jareau opening her mouth then shutting it again.

“He already knows. I told you he would. For once, let’s make it easy on ourselves,” I said, holding the door open for them. Reid let out a frustrated sigh as he pushed past me, avoiding eye contact. JJ walked out after him. I quickly scanned the room one last time, but Deen had already disappeared again, and the young boy was back at the front desk like nothing had happened. “You’re doing a good job, kid,” I said to him, and he smiled shyly at my words. I gave him a single nod, then followed the other two out the door.

“What were you thinking?” Reid said harshly.

“What? The guy knew,” I stated.

“But what if he didn’t know? You would have just blown our cover,” Spencer said, the frustration having never left his voice. His upper back muscles around his shoulder blades and traps started twitching, a tell of discomfort I had gotten used to seeing.

“Well he did know, so it was worthless to waste time,” I replied, still following behind him.

“What if it was a theory he had, and you just confirmed it,” Spencer countered.

“Even you don’t believe that. If you did, you wouldn’t have phrased it as a hypothetical. Plus, the quicker I can get your irritatingly large brain back on topic, the quicker we are going to find Jayana,” I pointed out. We reached the car where Hotch and Morgan were sitting, and I recapped everything Deen had told me. Reid called Garcia to update her and start searching for ‘Ben’s in the area with a track record. The rest of us quickly moved towards the corner this Ben character was supposed to be at. We paired off and started canvassing the area. We’d looked for about 30 minutes and found no one.

“How reliable is your guy?” Morgan asked me.

“Reliable.”

“You sure? ‘Cause we’ve been looking for a while and none of them fit the profile or description.”

“Yeah. I’m sure,” I replied. According to Deen, we only had about 10 more minutes or less to find this guy before he took off.

“Has Garcia identified anyone yet?” Aaron asked.

“No, not yet. There are plenty of ‘Ben’s around,” Morgan answered.

“What if we start looking at cars? If this guy is going to leave soon, and based on the distances he’s going, he’s most likely got a car, probably a van,” JJ offered. We paired back off and went around looking for weird people around vans. Which was a surprising amount. Aaron’s phone started ringing, a call coming in from Morgan.

“He’s got him,” is all he had to say before we were both running back to the SUV where Morgan was already pushing a man into the backseat.

Part 2

[omgkalyppso]

curious about this shenko nonsense???

this shenko nonsense

asdhjfgkajsd A good follow up to my last post. It’s an (abandonned?) Mass Effect fic that I’m eyeing as some of my friends and mutuals get ready for the remaster.

I’m going to put two excerpts so they’re under a cut for being long.

the first is an extremely dated rewrite of meeting kaidan when you fail to save those colonists in ME2

“No, don’t let them get away!”

Delan’s plea echoed painfully through the empty colony. Kaidan squinted and rubbed at his forehead. A hell of a time for a migraine, but he hadn’t expected this stress. He had heard the gunfire, and instinctively headed towards the violence.

“There’s nothing we can do,” came a reply. “They’re gone.”

Staff Commander Alenko felt his heart stop. He knew that voice, better than he’d care to admit. That was the voice, her voice. Pictures, vids and holos had created a visual profile of the late Commander Shepard, and even so, the image of her had started to fade from his mind. He had slowly lost details of the woman to time, the curve of her eyes, the placement of her dimples, the wrinkles on her hands … but her voice had stayed with him; from whispering his name in the dark, to ordering him into the thick of combat in the Battle of the Citadel. There was no mistaking it.

He felt winded as reports relating to her status that he’d been privy to jumbled in his head, but he could only hear his own mind screaming, ‘She’s alive.’

“I didn’t want it to end this way,” she continued, sharp and honest as ever. “I did what I could.”

“More than most, Shepard,” answered yet another familiar drawl.

“Shepard?” piped Delan. “Wait. I know that name. Sure, I remember you -” and Kaidan bottled his emoations as he moved to approach the voices. No one remembered Shepard as he remembered did.

“Commander Shapard,” he greeted and introduced, “captain of the Normandy, the first human Spectre, Saviour of the Citadel. You’re in the presence of a legend, Delan, and a ghost.” Kaidan couldn’t believe he could even look away from the woman to address the engineer, but he had. Delan expressed disapproval and dismissed himself however, and there was nothing to do but look back to her. He hadn’t sought changes in her expression upon revealing himself, afraid of what he might see, and how he might react.

Despite being two years dead, Celeste Shepard barely looked worse for wear. Some faded facial scars were hardly a disfigurement, and Kaidan swallowed uneasily for want of pressing his lips to her matte lips. He twitched a nervous smile as he continued to advance on the woman, and much to his relief, she took him in her arms. If she were a clone or an android, she was an excellent copy.

Her nose bumped the side of his neck from holding him too tight, and Kaidan shivered slightly before pulling away. “I thought you were dead, Shepard. We all did.”

Kaidan saw that Garrus was with her and a dark haired woman with an outfit donning the Cerberus logo, and his hands clenched as they fell to his sides. Celeste was rubbing at one of her eyes, both of which were red – ‘Was she crying?’ he had to wonder. He had never seen that before.

“I missed you, Kaidan,” she sputtered, trying to regain her composure. “I missed you so much.” She cleared her throat with a closed mouth into her first before turning back to her companions and requesting, “Could we have a moment alone? Please?”

“Yeah.” “No.” Came the unified responses. Garrus and Miranda exchanged a look. Kaidan watched the Cerberus operative with increasing distaste as she leaned back on her own hip and swung a pistol lazily in her free hand. The lack of respect with which she addressed Shepard was unfathomable. Why would Celeste put up with this dreg of humanity and her loyalties?

“I will not give you opportunity to run off with an agent of the Alliance,” Miranda began, before waving her free hand in Kaidan’s direction before crossing her arm around herself. “In fact, we could even consider this particular Alliance agent a liability.”

Garrus holstered his weapon while watching Miranda with a harsh eye. Kaidan couldn’t help but notice how sinister the Turian looked, all scars and sharp angles. “Shepard won’t abandon her team,” he said with certainty. “We're fine, Ms Lawson.”

She looked unimpressed as she clipped her gun to her side, repeating, "I’m not leaving.”

Celeste nodded and turned all her attention back to Kaidan, who by this point was fuming. Disappointed, disgusted and confused by Shepard’s behaviour he spoke louder than he’d intended, but with what he felt was appropriate maliciousness, “How could you work for Cerberus? After everything we’d done to try to stop their experiments and-and-and their operations! Have you forgotten Kahoku? Toombs? Even the Fai Dan and the Rachni queen? Did their suffering mean nothing to you?”

The commander flinched as if struck, “I haven’t forgotten.” She sighed and answered more calmly, “I don’t work for Cerberus –”

“That’s not what your paycheck says,” blurted Miranda as she straightened her posture. Shepard’s gaze shot daggers at her companion, but she gave her no vocal response, only gritting her teeth before turning back to Kaidan, whose eyebrows blatantly displayed his distaste.

“I didn’t sign up for Cerberus,” Celeste corrected herself, “this just sort of happened –”

“Then what about me, Shepard?!” the outburst came before he could stop it. Kaidan held a hand over the side of his face and cursed loudly, while internally insulting his own weakness and intelligence, but he’d started his blithering now – it would be easier to plow through than bail out. He dropped his hand to his side and continued, “I thought we had something … something real, and even if,” the words bit his teeth, “I was wrong, I thought I at least had your respect! Thinking you were dead tore me apart. How could you put me through that? Why didn't you try to contact me? Why didn't you let me know you were alive?”

Celeste expressive features twisted into a truly angry sight. ‘Good,’ thought Kaidan, ‘don’t be agreeable.’

“I was dead,” she growled, and she reached out as if to shove him away from her, but stopped. Her hands hovered between them before twitching back to her sides.

“You don’t think this is hard on me?” Celeste continued. “I’ve been “comatose or worse,”” she air-quoted, “for the past two years. And what do you think the first thing I asked after was when I was finally had coherent thought?” The metal of her armor clinked as she balled her hands into fists. “I asked everyone after you: Cerberus, Anderson, Garrus, Tali, Joker – but no one … no one could understand why this was so important to me,” she finished lamely.

“I loved you,” Kaidan answered, cold and malicious. She was all that the Alliance made her out to be and more, it was absurd to think that in the time she’d been active – which was weeks at least, as per the rumors, that she would have truly failed in getting a message out. Regardless, she had just told him Anderson had known – known from her directly that she was alive.

Celeste’s eyes burned red and she breathed heavy, “Kaidan…”

He realized then that it was the first time he had said that he loved her, aloud for her ears, and it was in past tense. Guilt scratched at the surface of his rage, but it was powerless against his injury in this moment. “I still love you … It’s only been a few days for me … Please, try to understand.”

Kaidan inhaled sharply upon hearing her response. ‘Isn’t this what you wanted?’ asked a part of him. ‘To be loved?’ ‘She’s not allowed to love me,’ argued another. ‘Not now.’ He shook his head, “Alliance Intel thought Cerberus might be behind the missing human colonies. We got a tip that this colony might be the next one to get hit. Anderson stonewalled me, but there were rumors that you weren't dead, that you were working for the enemy … and now you’re here Shepard.”

“…What?” she gasped.

Miranda scoffed, “Reports? So much for information security.”

“But Kaidan,” Celeste bud in, “you saw what happened here right? The Collectors –”

“I saw them,” he assured her.

“They’re working with the Reapers!” cried Shepard.

Calmed and vulnerable, Kaidan took a step back as he answered, “Maybe. As morose as it is, I hope you’re right. I want to believe you Shepard, but I can't trust Cerberus. They could be using the threat of a Reaper to manipulate you. Maybe you feel like you owe Cerberus because they saved you, but their intelligence must be as corrupt as their methods. Just … think about it …

“I've got to report back to the Citadel. They can decide if they believe your story or not,” he finished, continuing to force himself to move away.

Shepard was nodding, her eyes tired and unfocused, “Goodbye, old friend.”

He smiled weakly before taking his leave, “Good luck, Commander.”

Kaidan didn’t depart immediately; he simply got out of sight. He leaned up against a shelter and ran both hands through his hair while listening to Shepard leave. He hadn’t been waiting for her to come back. She was dead. There was an ending. It was impossible that she was here. He couldn’t be expected to know how to react or how he would feel. He fumbled with his omni-tool to address his migraine, a welcome distraction for his hands and his eyes, though he could not escape his heartache.

Shepard was leaving him again, and this time it wasn’t by force. Though truly, she’d never left him before, she’d been ripped from him … but now, she was leaving. He wished she’d begged for his company or asked anything of him, he wasn’t fit to oblige but he worried that this might be a sign of her guilt somehow.

And after Kaidan reminisces about their first night from ME1 and is flying back to Citadel space after that interaction.

Kaidan banged his head against the wall of the ship. The size of the vessel allowed for him, as the ranking officer, to be awarded an office, but not his own private quarters. The cool steel felt good on the back of his head and drew him away from wilder memories and fantasies. The degree to which this helped with his mood however, was negligible.

More than one night of intimacy, however. He missed her.

Her advice, her judgement, her sense of humour, of honour and duty; traits he could not find to the same degree in any other person in all the galaxy. Their bond of trust … was that forever broken now? How could one simply fall into the employ of their enemy? Cerberus obviously wasn’t holding her hostage. The Alliance had their own efforts in working against the Reapers. Had she even tried to reach home?

“Oh God,” Kaidan groaned. He would not be the one to tell her parents that she was alive.

[fortheloveoffanfic]

Mistakes and Regrets

Keanu Reeves x Reader.

How was one supposed to get over their ex if your break was plastered all over the media? Well, the truth was, you didn’t. Both Keanu and Y/n had learned that. They had come together after  a beautiful friendship had turned into something more following an innocent evening of cocktails at their favorite restaurant in the city. They had approached a romantic relations with extreme caution but eventually when the press got suspicious they no longer saw the point of hiding.

“Why should I have to hide how I feel about you?” He had asked one night, laying in bed, with Y/n sprawled out on top of him. He had looked so perfect, dim light from the fire place casting a glow on his gorgeous face. 

“Do you really want to do this?” Y/n raised herself off him, and Keanu brushed a strand of hair from her face, then let his hands gently skim across her skin under the sheets.

“I do. I want everything with you Y/n.” Maybe those were the words that had frightened her. The fact that they were falling in love and every relationship in her past had gone up in smoke. She had never been good at this. But maybe, quite possibly, Y/n hoped that she could be this time. “What do you say? One word and its done.”

Her breath shuddered when she responded, but somewhere, deep down she meant it. She had to, else the thought would have never crossed her mind. “Lets do it.” He smiled widely urging her downwards so their lips would meet in a kiss, fire and passion true. 

About a month later, Y/n and Keanu had made their red carpet debut as a couple at a movie premiere. With his arm secured around her waist, they strolled along the carpet, stopping occasionally to take pictures for their adoring public. Photographers begged for more, and though reluctant at first, they give in. Keanu bent and Y/n leaned into him cupping his face. Their first public kiss.

After that night, they weren’t afraid to be seen in public. Granted, they weren’t your run of the mill ‘PDA couple’, they had preferred to keep things simple and low key, the chemistry between them was still palpable from a mile away. 

Of course, when one of Hollywood’s rising stars starts dating one of the most notable names in the industry, people will talk, things will be written and assumptions would be made. Was she dating him in attempt to gain more media coverage for herself? Was he having a mid life crisis? None of it mattered to either of them though. They were happy, in love. Everything was perfect. Until the night when it all came crashing down. Or possibly, ‘crashing down’ would have been to much of a sudden description. Maybe it would be more fitting to describe that evening as the one where things came to a halt after slowing down for a while.

“Y/n?” Keanu called slowly walking through her house. Most of the lights were turned off, but there was light filtering from the back porch into the living room. “Y/n?” Finally, he walked through the open screen door, over to where she stood at the railing, looking at the rolling hills in the distance. 

She didn’t speak until he was standing next to her. For some reason, he had left some space between them. It matched the distance that had recently graced their relationship. Neither of them was sure who introduced it at first, be no one had made a move to fix things. “Do you still love me?” She questioned, her voice quiet and sad. 

I do, he wanted to say. It was true, but it would make her stay, and at this point he had decided that would have been the worst thing for her. So instead, he lied, “I....” Well, he tried to. 

Y/n’s breath caught, and she hastily swiped at her eyes, “I thought so.” 

It broke Keanu’s heart to see her like this, “What about you?” 

“What about me?” She asked, swallowing tightly, avoiding what was coming next.

“Do you still love me?” He asked holding his breath for her answer.

His chest tightened, and tears slipped down her cheeks, when she said, “Does it matter? What are we doing?” Y/n had long given up on avoiding what felt like the inevitable, “This isn’t working any more is it? We can’t keep pretending. I can’t...” Her voice trailed off as she chocked a sob.

After a long silence, Keanu spoke again, stuffing his hands in his pockets to restrain himself from touching her, “I’ve been thinking, a lot. You should be with someone your age. Someone who you can experience new things with.”

Y/n nodded, her chest aching. Did he really feel this way? After they had spent so long saying that age was just a number. “And you need someone who knows how to love you. And I don’t think I’ve been doing that lately. I think, that maybe, I led you on.” Y/n fought to contain her sobs. She had wanted to fix things tonight. Y/n knew that out of fear, she had pushed him away, scared of completely falling for him. But the from minute that she had realized how irrational her fear was, Y/n had wanted to mend things. Though if that was how he felt then she didn’t see the point, “We shouldn’t do this anymore. I’m sorry.” 

That night had been almost six months ago and it had been one that Keanu regretted. Often, he found himself wondering if she did too. It didn’t really look like she did, every time he caught a glimpse of her on a headline, he’d dive right in. And every time, another piece of his hope chipped away. There were stories about her everywhere. About a trip she took to Cancun with friends. A new project that she was working on in some exotic, European location. Being spotted at a charity gala with a date. It hurt to think that she was dating someone else, even if that was what he had told her to do.

Y/n sat in her hotel room in London staring at the television. There he was again, smiling for the cameras at his premiere, looking happy. And of course, because apparently no one could let it go, the presenter mentioned their ‘recent’ break up. Y/n’s shoulder’s slumped when he simply brushed off the mention of her. Ouch. She had spent the past few months missing him yet it didn’t seem like he remotely missed her. 

From her spot on the bed, she glanced up at the garment bag hanging on the hook on the bathroom door, wondering if she was making another mistake.

From the minute she stepped out of the black, heavily tinted SUV, lights flashed from all directions. Y/n walked along the designated carpeted path, avoiding the jumble of questions and comments being hurled at her. Who was she wearing? Why was she in London? Was she seeing someone new? Did her appearance tonight mean that she had reconciled with Keanu?

The truth was that she did not even know if that was possible. He didn’t even seem like he missed her, but when tickets for the London premiere of his new movie had somehow ended up with her agent, Y/n found herself unable to decline. She wanted to see him, talk to him and tell him how everything she had said that night had been a lie. Y/n had no idea if he felt the same, after all, he had told her he couldn't be with her, but she had to try. Take a chance, even if it might break her heart.

Keanu had heard that she was here and had wanted to talk to her all night, but between giving numerous interviews and then the screening of the movie, he had not gotten the chance. However, now that it was all over and everyone had scattered for the after party, he was free to do whatever he pleased.

Wandering around the packed room, he searched for Y/n, though as it turned out, she found him first. For a minute, he stopped abruptly and she did too. She looked even better than he remembered, if it were even possible. The flecks of glitter in her navy blue dress danced on low lighting and the dangerous slit along her left side was alluring. 

“Hi,” Y/n spoke softly, the word almost getting lost underneath the music and chatter.

“Hey.” A ghost of a smile threatened to up turn his lips when he asked, “Can we talk?” And Y/n agreed, letting him lead her out into the deserted hallway.

“How have you been?” She asked nervously.

“I’ve been better.” Like when I was with you. Words left unsaid hung in the air, “You?”

Y/n shrugged, wringing her hands awkwardly, “I guess I could say the same.” After that, a long pregnant pause followed before they both tried to speak up at once. “ You go first,” Y/n insisted.

“I just....” How was he even supposed to say this? “I’m sorry Y/n.” Keanu sighed heavily, the events of that night coming back to him in a rush. The tightness in his throat as he told her that she should be with someone else, the sound of her chocked sobs as she told him that she couldn’t love him, the gnawing ache of a mutual break up that should have never happened. “What I said that night, it came from fear. Not just a man who was scared to lose you, but one who thought that losing you was inevitable. You were so young, and you still are, I.....” He ran anxious fingers through his hair in a throw away attempt to not grab her hands, “I thought that you were beginning to regret us, and I couldn’t let you stay with me, because I couldn’t stand the thought of being a regret to you, someone who held you back from living out your best years because he had already lived.” Keanu sighed, racking his brain for the right words, “But now that you’re gone, I’m selfish enough to want you back, even if you’re young and you might hate me for holding you back, I’m selfish enough to live with your hate twenty years from now if it means I can have your love today.” His eyes shone with tears, pleading with her to take him back.

Y/n’s breath caught and her mouth moved, no words escaping the red stained lips that he missed feeling against his. For a minute he thought she was going to tell him that she could never love him and already, he could feel the pain of heartbreak being renewed. But when she spoke, he knew that all hope wasn’t lost, “Keanu,” She breathed his name, relieved, “I could never regret loving you. I was so stupid and frightened of what we were becoming, and of what we were losing. We had been so distant from each other and I knew that I was falling in deeper than I ever had and at first I was scared and I did what was familiar, started pushing you away. And when you told me that I should start seeing someone else, I had wanted to tell you that I could never be with someone else cause, well, you’ve ruined everyone else for me.” Y/n sniffled, “But my ego got in the way and I made the biggest mistake of my life. I let you go, let you think that I couldn’t love you when all I could ever feel for you is love.” Being more bold than he had been, Y/n took Keanu’s hands, “I regret everything that happened that night and I regret that its taken us this long to get here, but I could never, and I will never, regret my feelings for you, because the truth is, the best years of my life are just going to be years unless I spend them with you.” Y/n sniffled again, glancing at their shoes, inches apart from each other, then looked back up, meeting his gaze, remembering all the reasons she feel in love with him in the first place, “So, if you really meant what you just said, I’d like to give this, give us, another try.”

Keanu smiled, and let his hands travel from her loose grip to around her waist, “Yeah? You’re sure?” He asked, stepping forward so they were toe to toe.

“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.” Y/n wound her arms around his neck, tangling her fingers in the softness of his dark hair, reaching up to kiss him, deeper than they had ever kissed before. 

As they continued, locked in each other’s embrace, they to could vaguely hear the shuttering and clicks of cameras in the distance, the paparazzi ready to send out unofficial evidence of their reunion, but neither of them cared, because it didn’t matter. They had made a mistake and had months worth of lost time to make up for, “Do you wanna go back to my hotel room?” Y/n asked against his lips.

Keanu looked at her with familiar love and passion burning in his eyes, “I’d love to.” He kissed her one last time, before they made a not so discreet escape back to the hotel. 

[dippedanddripped]

A Q&A With Keary Kase On Pioneering Hip Hop In Portland

Trenton, NJ born rapper Keary Kase is now pioneering hip hop from Portland, Oregon. After having been involved in a Nike ad campaign that featured him on Billboards across the US, Keary’s singles began to top the radio charts. He began to work with artists like The Wutang Clan and producers Bosko and Non-Stop Da Hitman. Most recently, he partnered with Adidas designers in Portland to develop ‘Reder’ – an athletic apparel brand with focus on CBD delivery systems for athletes who are recovering from injuries.

We had the chance to sit down with Keary Kase to talk about Portland’s thriving hip hop scene, his Nike campaign, and what fans and followers can expect in 2020.

Tell us a little bit about the hip hop scene in Portland. We’d love to know more!

Portland hip hop has so many facets, I’m not sure where to begin. We do have a solid foundation of originals, like Mic Crenshaw, Cool Nutz, Mellenium (Kenny Mack), Maniac Lok, Bosko, Vursatyl, X-Kid, DJ Wicked, Pete Miser and myself, who are still active.

Having strong artists, who have made careers in Hip Hop, as role models and idols allows the kids to aspire to become musical artists. Without these examples, the endless call to normalcy and job security (which we all now know is B/S) by pretty much EVERYBODY, would lead these young Ore-guns to self doubt and failure.

Mike Capes, Swiggle Mandela, Drae Steve’s, JR Patton and Keith Canvas are a few Portland artists to check out.

Right now, a lot of artists are showing support to the BLM movement using their voices to speak, rather than rap to those participating in protests, rallies and such.

How do you feel being originally from the east coast has affected your musical style?

In my embryonic years, I saw myself as an east coast rapper. I felt like, with the exception of rappers like Ice T, Too Short, NWA and The DOC, west coast rappers were mostly basic compared to east coast rappers. They had KRS, Big Daddy Kane, Slick Rick (my favorite golden era rapper), Special ED, Kool G Rap & Polo, RAKIM!!! Plus WBLS used to play all the hot new shit off the block.

I was enamored by east coast swagger and tone. The slang and accent was natural for me because my entire family spoke with it. My ability to slip in and out of the style made me different in Portland.

In the early 90’s I started spending time in LA. I was slanging FIMO beads to tourists at Venice Beach in the daylight and going to clubs and shows at night. I met this dude named Self Jupiter at this summer festival called The African Marketplace, where I was selling jewelry and celebrating my black youth. Jupiter was a member of a rap group called Freestyle Fellowship. He gave me a tape. After I listened to it, my entire opinion of west coast hip hop was turned upside down. I witnessed west coast rappers like Volume 10, WC, Divine Styler, Cypress Hill and E40 change the game. I became influenced by them and my style was set free. I became open to all influences, no matter if they came from the east, west, northwest, midwest or south.

Tell us more about the Nike ad campaign you were featured in. How did that come about?

One day I was leaving my boy Tommy Hestmark’s studio in downtown Portland. I was walking down the street with my back straight and my chest and chin up, as all men and women should. This guy approached me and said “excuse me, can I talk to you?” I looked at him sideways and he says “no, no. It’s just…. Your face is CRAZY!” I squinted as if to say “do you hear yourself fool?” He pulls out a card and explains that he owned a modeling agency and he thought my look was money. He asked me to call to schedule a test shoot. I called and scheduled the shoot. When I went there, he asked me if I was wearing boxers. I confirmed, then he asked me if I would take some test shots in my boxers. I’m thinking this dude is either going to proposition me for sex or he wants to see if I can be the next face of Calvin Klein. I gambled on Calvin Klein and agreed to take the pics. We walked into a hall and he said “you can get undressed here,” then walked away. So there I stood baring all that my boxers would not cover, with my clothes in a small pile on the floor. I heard footsteps, then an attractive woman appears holding a camera. It was his wife. She told me where to stand , took a couple quick pics and said “Keary, you’re a machine,” then allowed me to get dressed and walked me out.

A few weeks later they called me back and said a photographer knew of me and wanted to do a martial arts shoot. There was no pay, but the photographer was well known and really good. I had no portfolio, and no published work so this was an opportunity to do TFP to add to my comp card.

The photographer, Marcus Swanson, wanted me to do a flying sidekick, which is a classic taekwondo photo kick. When I got there, there was nowhere to get a running start so I improvised and pulled it off. While I was there, a Nike scout was lurking. As I was leaving, Marcus’ assistant, Amber Geiger, mentioned a potential shoot for Nike and asked if they could do a quick polaroid. Snap snap and I was out. A few months passed by before I got a call back from my agent about the shoot. In those few months, I became a black belt, won a gold medal at the the regional national qualification tournament in the black belt dividion, then a silver medal at the US National Championship, and was leaving in a few days to go whoop everybody’s ass at the invitational US Team Trials. It didn’t play out that way but I believe being so active in the few months between the martial arts test shoot and the paid shoot is what influenced their decision to go with me for the ad campaign. We agreed on a date and time, after my return, for the shoot.

When I got back, we did the shoot. I thought it was going to be light work but it was brutal. Modeling is hardcore. I remember seeing myself on a billboard for the first time. It felt like a distant relative to masturbation. I also remember it taking forever to get my money. Agencies can be gangster. I had to make some very firm promises before I got the check. After that, our relationship became square.

You have worked with several platinum artists and producers. Do you have any memorable stories about your experiences that you’d like to share?

Hmm. I don’t like to deride or D-RIDE anyone, but there was an interesting encounter with a Wu-Tang Clan member named Cappadonna. Cappadonna, Killa Priest and a small crew they were touring with were staying at my house when they stopped through Portland. My roommate, MyG,  was helping them do some business in Portland while they killed time before their next tour date. At the time, we had a lil 5 bedroom spread with 2 recording studios in it, so we let their whole crew crash at the spot. The house was already like a revolving door for whoever was on tour in the NW. Artists could come through while in town and collab, get local pub through us and be blessed with some Oregon grown greeneries for the road.

So this was the first time we met (Cappadonna & I). I was taking acting classes at the time so I was gone when they pulled up. When I got home after class, Cappadonna was in the booth. I walked in the room and he started talking wild like “aye yo break that nigga watch!…stab that nigga!” I’m standing in a room full of dudes, with New York energy, that I don’t know, so I assumed he was talking about me. I dip out to my room and get a screwdriver just so I have something in my hand incase things go left. A few minutes pass, then MyG tells Cappadonna to move on to the next part. At this moment I realize he’s in character and not talking about me at all. Killah Priest enters the room. We introduce ourselves and dap up. He asks me what I do and I tell him that I’m in acting school. When Cap comes out, KP says “this is Kase, he’s an actor.” They gave each other a look that, to me , expressed what he spoke as “this is Kase, he’s a fake nigga.”

Granted, I’ve been a skater since day 1, so I understand that some black people (especially at the time) associate being a black skater with being less black or more white. With that in mind, I let what he said breeze by.

After we blessed up, we got to the business. Bosko had let me hold a beat that I wrote a sticky verse to; Cappa liked it so I let him put a hook on it. Me and KP did a DOPE song on a track that this dude named Smoke produced. It sounded like some official Wu-affiliate shit. MyG lost the session so none of that material was ever released.

The next day the energy still felt suspect. Like they thought I was a suburban negro, lol. I took them to the block, which is now gentrified, but was still hood at the time. Cappa called my whip a 666. It was the same Denali XL with the same 26” Trump Spinners that was in the video for the song he was promoting at the time, but mine was cleaner. It seemed like he felt a way about it. We went to my mom’s restaurant, where Cappa requested a Psalms verse from my mother. She said “how about a Revelation,” and laced all of us.

I dropped them at the barber shop to get faded and bladed. When they came out, the energy was different. Cappadonna got in and said “you know your hood and your hood knows you. He said you put your moms in that restaurant, didn’t you?” I just looked at him and put my hand out. We dapped up and the respect, which was first being given by me and received by him, suddenly felt mutual.

Cappadonna is a wise dude and a beast MC. I asked him questions related to his lyrics. He explained to me what “God Degree” and “7:30” meant and told me the story of the origin of his name. You might be able to detect that I’m most definitely still a Wu-Tang fan, although I liked his earlier work. KP knows what I mean by that.

Tell us about your involvement with the CBD industry and your views on how it can be a therapeutic tool for people?

CBD is my go-to treatment for a number of conditions. If I am anxious, I use a non-psychoactive tincture. This gives me a general sense of well-being, without making me feel altered or high. I feel like myself on a good day. If I need to restful sleep, I employ a cannabinoid rich CBD blend that allows me to drift off into REM without jumping up 100 times to make sure the garage door is closed (or whatever). Using CBD is like taking premium vitamins.

In 2019, I started a company called Nina Botanica with a material designer who works for Adidas in Portland. I began researching how to use compression technology as a CBD delivery system for athletic injury rehabilitation. There are some products on the market that offer a similar product, but none that fully address the issues of muscle strains, tears and associated pain that can knock an athlete off of their game. What sets us apart is, our CBD compression system has a lifetime guarantee. You can use it until you’re tired of using it.

We also designed a pod based delivery system, called the NINA , with Shenzen based technology company Smoore. The smart hexagonal pod + cartridge system uses inductive charging in place of the industry standard USB to power up.

Due to COVID-19 and our current bout with systemic racism, the techy products will be in preliminary production until mid-late 2021.

Tell us about your latest project “Craze”. Who is involved and what inspired it?

I was a week back on after being off music for years. Just getting my lungs back, not planning on dropping anything yet; just warming up. An artist named Uneek, who had been my mentee for several years, reached out. He was talking about how he blew all of his savings on medical expenses for his seed and how William, Lil Willi and Big Bill were all coming for him at once. He had just got robbed in Atlanta, so he was shy about who he could trust in Portland.

Uneek asked me to help him to rebrand himself and act as a manager, as I did in the beginning of his career. Since he had just found the strength to come out about his sexual identity, he wanted to look to the LBGTQ community for support. Since that was outside of my sphere of influence, I decided to help him generate some traffic in his home studio, offering tracking and mixing as an engineer. I told him we could put out a mixtape to re-introduce him to his followers and the rest of the world. I got 15 tracks from  producers, Sixteen and J Doe. I wanted to see how serious he was about his career so I told him to put hooks on  all 15. He would send me a rough lyric or melody, then I would write or rewrite the lyrics then massage the melody and coach him on how to execute it.  After he did it, I would chop it and arrange it in a Logic, while I was on the road.

Once the mixtape concepts were in the bag, I told him we needed a real record to kick it off. There was a lot of material in his catalog, but nothing that sounded like a hit single to me.

He got a track from this lil dude named 64 and put a hook on it that had us laughing. He was like “yeah this track sound like something Da Baby would get on.” It wasn’t my style, really, but I kept getting drawn into the drums. I let the first line go off the top then it seemed like the rest of the lyrics were just there. We called it “She A Thot.” It dropped on all platforms back in April of this year.

Craze, the follow up single, manifested itself off of the vibe we were on after “She A Thot” dropped. 64 had sent us a 3 pack of beats so it had some of the same feel as the others, however, the “Craze” beat was much more elegant than the other two.It was like the bigger, sexier, more mature and pondering sister of the “She A Thot” beat.

When I started writing, I felt the beat asking me to confess. It was saying “tell your truth, Kase.” The melody in my head was so balanced that I just let it drive through the first verse. I remembered, as a young man, being so caught up in hustling that I lost my compassion for people. I reflected on how I had spent the last decade, since my first daughter was born, re-approaching life with more compassion.

Whatever you have done in your past does not define you. But sometimes it’s good to talk about it. Black  people have traditionally been afraid of counseling or therapy. Mostly because of our trust issues with the people providing those services. I strongly suggest talking to someone about the things that trouble you. My uncle Jeff calls it “dumping.”

Music is my therapy. Dumping is my new craze.

What artists are you listening to right now and why?

I like listening to new music. I’m listening to Lil Durk, Pop Smoke, Amine, Jack Harlow, etc. But that’s like research for me. I like to see and hear what the big dogs are investing in. But right now, I’m developing a K-Pop artist, so I’m listening Big Hit Entertainment’s people. I’m about to go over there and liberate some musical slaves. (*artists)

But I still listen to Sade.

What’s next for you in 2020? What can fans look forward to?

I’m dropping a mixtape later this month. I may be doing a record + video with Compton artist, AD in the next few weeks. We’re still working out the details, but he’s doing real good right now.

Other than that, I’m developing a young K-Pop idol named Kiari. That genre is making big waves. I’m also looking at television as a next play. I have a pocket ace in the Chinese market that I’m keeping tucked. Oh I’m doing business with China.  Sorry Chump…I mean, Sorry Trump. No, wait, I had it right the first time.

[itsshortfurball20]

Percy Jackson, The Avenger

Summary: Percy has an encounter with Nick Fury. A year later, he’s being called on to help protect the world… again. He’s not alone in this Avengers Initiative. A genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist; a super soldier; a green scientist; a Norse god; and two secret agents. What could go wrong?

1 2 3 4 

This chapter has 2,640 words

5 – The Continuum of Villains in Glass Prisons

It took them an hour to get back to the Helicarrier. An hour of Percy nervously glancing up at the ceiling. An hour of violently gripping the nearest surface every time they hit turbulence. An hour of wondering whether Zeus would strike the plane down.

Steve had sat by Percy and tried to make small talk. Percy gave short, quick answers, not in the mood to chit-chat. Steve left after a while, giving Percy some space. When the plane landed, Percy was the first one off. Being on the Helicarrier wasn’t the same as the ground, but Percy could feel the ocean below them, giving him a much-needed boost.

The others followed after Percy. Several agents had been waiting for their arrival, taking Loki and escorting him to presumably his cell. Percy watched him go, the unsettling feeling from his stomach still not gone.

Everyone made their way inside. They ended back up in the main area, where Dr. Banner was waiting, pacing back and forth. As soon as the group entered, Banner stopped his pacing. They all took places around the table. Romanoff managed to pull up a security feed of the holding cell that Loki was in for them to watch.

Percy found himself staring at Loki through a glass prison cell. The guards had taken off the cuffs, letting him wander around the small cell freely. Percy stared at the god, trying to figure out what his ulterior motive for coming here was. No man—or god, for that matter—would let themselves be captured without a plan of sorts.

Director Fury walked on screen, just as intimidating as he had been when Percy first met him. He didn’t spare Loki a glance until he was standing next to the control panel of the cell. “In case it's unclear,” his voice boomed. “You try to escape, you so much as scratch that glass—” Fury pressed one of the buttons on the panel. Percy figured that the button must have opened a hatch under the cage as the sound of gushing wind became almost deafening. Loki tried his best to peer down the glass without pressing himself to the window. “—Thirty thousand feet, straight down in a steel trap. You get how that works?”

Fury pressed the button again, and the hatch closed. With a pointed gesture at Loki, he said “Ant,” before gesturing to the panel. “Boot.”

Loki smirked. “It’s an impressive cage. Not built, I think, for me.”

“Built for something a lot stronger than you.”

“Oh, I’ve heard.” Loki turned to look into the camera. Around the table, the others took subtle glances at Banner, who was watching Loki intently, trying to ignore the others. “The mindless beast makes play he's still a man. How desperate are you that you call upon such lost creatures to defend you?

“How desperate am I? You threaten my world with war. You steal a force you can't hope to control. You talk about peace and you kill cause it's fun. You have made me very desperate.” Fury was walking closer and closer to Loki’s cage, illustrating each point with another step. “You might not be glad that you did.”

“Ooh. It burns you to come so close.” Loki nearly laughed. “To have the Tesseract, to have power, unlimited power. And for what? A warm light for all mankind to share, and then to be reminded what real power is.”

Fury stared at Loki, not backing down from the god. After a beat, he turned away, hiding a small smile. “Well, you let me know if ‘Real Power’ wants a magazine or something.”

The director left, leaving Loki by himself. With a smirk, Loki cast the camera another glance, before the monitor went dark. Everyone around the table was silent. Percy sat there, mulling over Loki’s words. The speech didn’t sound like what someone who had been captured would sound like. Loki sounded relaxed, confident. Even though he was the one in the cage, Loki sounded like the one with the upper hand.

Across from Percy, Steve sat in silence. Just to his left, Thor stood, looking torn. Percy remembered that Thor and Loki were brothers. Until this moment, the son of Poseidon realized that the Greek gods might not be the only immortal dysfunctional family out there.

Dr. Banner broke the silence first. “He really grows on you, doesn't he?”

“Loki's gonna drag this out,” Steve noted. The super soldier lifted his eyes to the blond god. “So, Thor, what's his play?”

“He has an army called the Chitauri. They're not of Asgard or any world known.” Thor uncrossed his arms and wandered closer to the table. “He means to lead them against your people. They will win him the earth. In return, I suspect, for the Tesseract.”

“An army? From outer space?” Steve repeated, tone sort of disbelieving.

Percy swiveled his chair towards the Captain. “Trust me on this, Cap. Space armies? Not the weirdest thing.”

“So he's building another portal.” Banner pieced together, ignoring Percy and Cap’s small conversation. “That's what he needs Erik Selvig for.”

Thor frowned. “Selvig?”

“He's an astrophysicist.” Banner explained to the god.

“He's a friend.”

“Loki has him under some kind of spell, along with one of ours,” Natasha spoke up for the first time. Percy gave a small jump, having forgotten that she was in the room with them. The demigod assumed that was just part of her nature from being a spy—don’t be noticed, blend into the background.

A troubling thought that had plagued Percy earlier popped back into his head. “Something’s up with Loki. Did anyone else notice how he actually sat and watched us like we something on Prime TV before letting us take him? Loki’s planning something.”

”I don't think we should be focusing on Loki.” Banner waved Percy’s concern off. “That guy's brain is a bag full of cats, you could smell crazy on him.”

Thor turned on Banner. “Have care how you speak. Loki is beyond reason, but he is of Asgard, and he's my brother.”

“He killed eighty people in two days,” Natasha informed him.

“He's adopted.”

Percy chuckled. Dysfunctional family all right. He stood up from his chair, walking closer to Thor. “Hey man, I get it. My cousin once told me families are messy. Immortal families are eternally messy.” Percy shrugged his shoulders. “The best thing to do is just remind yourselves that you’re related, for better or worse.” Thor’s shoulders slumped as Percy’s words moved over him. “He also said to try and keep the killing to a low, but…”

“Thank you, Perseus,” Thor told him. “I’m not sure things with Loki will go over smoothly, but I will keep your words in mind.”

Percy gave him a nod. Some of the uneasy air that had been between them seemed to melt away.

Banner looked deep in thought. “I think it’s about the mechanics.” He spoke up.  “Iridium. What do they need the iridium for?”

“It’s a stabilizing agent.”

Stark and Coulson walked into the room. Tony had answered Banner’s question before turning back to Coulson and finishing whatever conversation they had been having before walking into the room. When he finished, he turned back to them. “Means the portal won’t collapse on itself like it did at SHIELD” Tony walked by Thor and gave him a pat on the back. “No hard feelings, Point Break. You’ve got a mean swing.

“Also,” he switched back to Banner’s question. “it means the portal can open as wide, and stay open as long, as Loki wants.”

“Like to bring in a giant army from space,” Percy realized. He turned to Stark before he realized that the man had turned his attention to the agents that were milling around. Percy wondered if the man had ADHD. Stark reminded Percy of some of the kids at Camp Half-Blood, jumping from one conversation topic to the next without any logical solution behind it.

“Uh, raise the mid-mast, ship the top sails.” He commanded. “That man is playing GALAGA. Thought we wouldn’t notice, but we did.” Tony then proceeded to cover one of his eyes and look at the large monitors. “How does Fury even see these?”

“He turns.” Agent Hill answered.

“Sounds exhausting.” Tony turned back to Banner, but not before subtly placing something on the back of the monitor. Percy furrowed his brow as Stark continued talking. “The rest of the raw materials, Agent Barton can get on his hands pretty easily. Only major component he still needs is a power source. A high energy density, something to kick start the cube.”

“When did you become an expert in thermonuclear astrophysics?”

“Last night. The packet, Selvig’s notes, the Extraction Theory papers. Am I the only one who did the reading?”

“Pretty sure you’re the only one who got that,” Percy spoke up. “Unless I missed that in my skim through.”

Steve pipped up with a question. “Does Loki need any particular kind of power source?”

“He’s got to heat the cube to a hundred and twenty million Kelvin just to break through the Coulomb barrier.”

“The what now?” Percy asked, confused by what had just come out of the Doctor’s mouth. Only Tony seemed to understand his words because the two quickly launched into a conversation that Percy had trouble following.

“Finally, someone who speaks English,” Tony said.

Steve frowned. “Is that what just happened?”

“I don’t know, Cap.” Percy shrugged his shoulders. “Didn’t sound like it.”

Tony and Bruce shook hands. Percy could see what looked like mutual respect for each other as they introduced themselves to one another. “It’s good to meet you, Dr. Banner. Your work on anti-electron collisions is unparalleled.” Tony paused for a second. “And I’m a huge fan of the way you lose control and turn into a huge green rage monster.”

Banner looked away. “Thanks,” he muttered.

“Dr. Banner is only here to track the cube,” Fury announced to Stark. “I was hoping you might join him.”

“Let’s start with that stick of his,” Steve suggested. “It may be magical, but it works an awful lot like a HYDRA weapon.”

Percy frowned. “Hydras don’t need weapons.”

Everyone around the table seemed to look over at Percy. The son of Poseidon noticed the shocked and questioning looks from mainly everyone except from Agent Hill and Director Fury, the latter of who looked over at Percy. “Not Hydra as in the monster. HYDRA as in the secret organization that existed during World War Two. I’m not sure this is like them, but it is powered by the cube. And I’d like to know how Loki used it to turn two of the sharpest men I know into his personal flying monkeys.”

“Monkeys?” Thor asked. “I do not understand.”

“I do! I understood that reference.” Percy stifled a laugh at the proud looking Captain who finally wasn’t the clueless one on a pop culture reference.

Tony looked to Banner, ignoring Steve. “Shall we play, doctor?”

“Let’s play some.”

Tony and Bruce walked out, heading towards the lab. Percy headed off to his room, ready to make a call to Annabeth.

He made sure to close the door behind him before heading into his small bathroom. Percy stared at the shower, trying to figure out how to turn it on. Instead of a knob, there was a couple of buttons and a pad. Percy started pushing the buttons. It took him a couple tries before he got the water going. Taking the water, he bent it to the bathroom lights just right to get a small rainbow.

Percy tossed a drachma into the rainbow-colored water. “O Fleecy, do me a solid. Show me Annabeth Chase, Upper East Side, Manhattan.”

The rainbow started to shimmer, and the familiar sight of Percy’s living room came into focus. He saw Annabeth curled up on the couch, fast asleep. There was a stack of papers on the coffee table in front of her. Next to the stack of papers was a cup of coffee, half empty.

Percy paused. The last time that Annabeth had drunk coffee was when they were studying for their college finals. Prior to contrary belief, coffee actually made them better focused rather than bouncing off the walls. So when Annabeth was studying hard for something, she always had a little bit of coffee to help keep her on track. He tried to peer closer at the stack of papers. The IM, while great for getting general pictures across, was not good enough to help Percy see the words on the paper, that were just a small blur.

On the couch, Annabeth stirred. One of her eyes blinked open lazily. “Percy?” She asked, running her eyes as she sat up.

Percy smiled. “Hey, Wise girl.”

“Percy,” she sat up fully. “It’s like midnight.”

Percy glanced over at the clock that hung on the wall. “It’s two over here. Sorry that I woke you, I just wanted to check in on you.”

“I’m fine. I was just working on something.” She waved her hands dismissably towards the coffee table. “How are things going? Saved the world yet?”

Percy chuckled. “I’m not sure if getting by podex handed to me by a god with a heavy hammer counts.”

“Which god?” Annabeth asked.

“Thor,” Percy told her. “His brother Loki is the one we were going after. He’s in his cell right now while Stark and Banner are tracking down the cube that he stole from SHIELD so he could invade Earth with an army from outer space.” The son of Poseidon paused, replaying his last sentence and realizing how confusing that probably was.

Annabeth seemed to agree, if her furrowed brows were anything to go by. Percy was about to explain more when she asked a question that he didn’t expect.

“Did you say Thor and Loki?”

Percy froze. “Uh, yeah. Why? Do the names mean anything to you?”

Annabeth was visibly more awake than she had been moments before, leaning forward towards Percy. “Thor and Loki are famous Norse gods. If I remember correctly, Thor was the god of thunder while Loki was the god of mischief. I think stories also said that Loki killed an unkillable guy and his punishment was to have snake poison drip on him.”

“How does one kill an unkillable person?”

“Percy—”

“That’s not logical Annabeth.” Percy pointed out. “If the guy’s unkillable, then how can someone kill them?”

“I think the guy was meant to be unkillable. I’m not up to speed on my Norse mythology. I may be smart, but I can’t remember something I read once in a book when I was six.” Annabeth took a deep breath. “Okay, I need you to tell me. Does Loki have any scarring on his face? Any marks whatsoever?”

Percy shook his head. “No. That guy could be a model if he, you know, wasn’t a murderer. But he can do illusions.” Percy added after a second. “Maybe he’s hiding something.” He shrugged. “Not all stories are true though, remember?”

“Yeah.” Annabeth agreed. “I know, just making sure.” She glanced at the clock behind her. “Listen, Percy, I got to get to bed, and so do you. You never know when you’ll get to sleep next.”

Percy didn’t want to go, it felt like they had just started talking, but Percy couldn’t deny his heavy eyelids or calling bed in the next room. “Okay,” he said simply. “I’ll IM you with another update soon. I love you, wise girl.”

“Love you too, seaweed brain.”

He swiped through the Iris-message and shut off the shower. Percy stared at the place Annabeth’s beautiful face had only just been before trudging back into his bedroom and falling into his small bed. Within minutes, he was fast asleep.

6

[wicoppi]

Villain | Hero in Pursuit | Hero Pursued 

I got this ask when s6 aired and gave an abbreviated response because I had way too much irl stuff going on at the time. But that didn’t stop it from haunting me- there’s a lot to unpack and really it could be answered in a large series. I marked it to follow up on, and so here I am, up two whole brain cells, a bottle of tequila, and an ill advised deal with a devil later... following up on it. 

Anonymous asked: Just a thought... something I think we can only say after [season 6]: so S1-2 the villain was Zarkon, and the arc sorta ended up being Zarkon v Shiro. Then 3-6 would be Lotor, so Lotor v Keith. I guess it makes sense to think now that the next arc would feature Haggar v Allura? Also I was thinking there's some space there for Sendak v Shiro too. Thoughts? 

Voltron: Legendary Defender is easily divided into (3) 26-episode acts, and each act is marked by several storyline transitions, perhaps the most noticeable being the changing of primary antagonists. As pointed out, each villain has been pitted against specific persons on our hero team, but this show has more complexity than a simple 1-for-1 opposition can provide. In VLD, each villain is matched with (2) heroes- one hero who leads the charge and actively pursues the villain, and one hero who is being pursued by the villain as a means to an end. 

In Act 1, Zarkon spent his efforts and resources pursuing Shiro and the Black Lion, but Allura led the charge against him. She called the team to action, trained and prepared them, and determined what the paladins knew of Voltron prior to entering the fight. Allura set the team’s initial overall goals and established the idea seen throughout s1+2 that “defeating Zarkon” equaled “winning the war.” 

In Act 2, Lotor was introduced as the main villain and new leader of the Galra Empire, during which Keith led the obsessive pursuit against him. But after Lotor’s adversity to Zarkon became known, he gained audience with Team Voltron and began winning their favor primarily by pursuing Allura. In conversations, he most often addressed her rather than the group, speaking to her of Altea. Of transforming the Galra Empire, healing and saving the universe. Of rebuilding the coalition her father started. Not to say Lotor was disingenuous in all of this, but he pointedly sought Allura’s favor using terms he knew she understood and identified with in order to sway Voltron to his side. And it’s only when Keith returned at the close of Act 2 with hard evidence of Lotor’s wrong doings (against Alteans) that his spell was broken. 

And in Act 3, Honerva has been set up as the main antagonist; so following this trend we may expect Keith to be the hero pursued and Shiro the hero pursuing.

Of course, this isn’t likely to play out how we’ve come to expect, particularly given the first half of Act 3 featured Sendak. While he certainly fits into the villain category and was a centerpiece of s7 in a way which pushed him past the combination secondary and arc villain he’d previously been, it’s important to remember Sendak was first introduced as Zarkon’s agent and later reintroduced as Haggar’s puppet. It’s important to remember Honerva plays both direct and indirect games. 

Hero pursued- Keith has been on the edge of Honerva’s storyline since s1 when he fought one of her druids, Macidus. Later in s2 he battled more of her followers alongside Thace, and in s4 he was going to destroy her ship’s shield during the battle for Naxzela. And as of s6 Honerva has started returning Keith’s phone calls. First and most significantly by sending clone!Shiro to finish him, but also in 07.05 The Ruins with Macidus’s return. 

Granted most of these are not considered direct plays, but Honerva typically operates from a distance, setting pieces into motion in ways which make her hard to track. Additionally, Honerva now knows a great deal about Team Voltron and their interpersonal dynamics in a way which she has, and undoubtedly will again, manipulate. 

Hero pursuing- Keith and Honerva’s dynamics are subtle, but hers with Shiro are not. We could argue Honerva has been the real villain all along, that Zarkon was a red herring, that Lotor was / is not in opposition to the team, that Sendak was just a distraction. And Shiro has been tied in with her every step along the way. 

When first abducted by the Empire, Shiro was interrogated by Haggar’s druids. She took his arm, outfitted him with his first prosthetic, and credited herself his fighting prowess in the arena. After Shiro’s escape and Voltron’s return, the first robeast she sends to fight them is one whose defeat earned Shiro his title as Champion. And the first time we see Haggar fight someone head-on, she’s fighting Shiro. 

She has manipulated, battered, and used him, going so far as to make him the center of her slow burn take down of his team. But in s6, we follow Honerva’s trek through Oriande through clone!Shiro, implying their connection, their power struggle, is mutual. That Shiro is capable of returning what Honerva deals out. 

This is not to say the rest of the team won’t be involved in Honerva’s undoing. Just as Keith had a hand in Zarkon’s arc and Shiro in Lotor’s, Allura will be a big part of Honerva’s arc. Which is critical because Allura is the only one to have caught Honerva with her pants down,, way back in s2’s finale. That’s not to be forgotten or taken lightly- it’s seen with Shiro, Lotor, and a myriad of others, people do not win against Honerva, they only ever lose badly or come to a draw. But Allura, prior to the majority of her character development, went toe-to-toe with the witch and won. 

It’s going to take more than a single hero can do to save the universe. It’s going to take Keith’s instincts, Allura’s alchemical abilities, Lance’s perceptiveness, Hunk’s compassion and clarity, Pidge’s intellect. It’s going to take Shiro’s ability to unify and inspire. 

VLD is about teamwork, not one person saving the day. Shiro has many strengths- as a fighter, a leader, a survivor, a diplomat, and a strategist. But he cannot win this alone. He came into this story a formed young adult, already having undergone great struggles and personal discoveries, already having achieved greatness. His development was never going to manifest like the rest of the team who were inexperienced and have made obvious leaps and bounds. 

His development has been subtle- Shiro’s greatest asset, his ability to bring people together, has been inhibited by his inability to rely on them. It’s seen with Adam and in parts with how he related to his team, Shiro put ‘the mission’ before relationships and was always prepared to rely only on himself. His need to maintain control and his instinct to shoulder burdens alone weighed him down. 

Which is why Keith saving Shiro, in s7 and across the whole show, is so important- it’s how Shiro has grown. Theirs is one of Shiro’s few relationships we see which pre-dates Kerberos, and it has not only survived, but has thrived. At the onset, Shiro poured a great deal into connecting with Keith for the express purpose of helping Keith, not himself. Shiro expected to gain nothing from this, and yet Shiro is alive because of this bond. Shiro is stronger because he made and fostered a connection with someone who repeatedly and unfailingly covers him when he falters. 

Shiro is stronger for relying on his team. The team is stronger for having endured together. Voltron is stronger for it all. 

This pursuer / pursued arc has been repeated a few times now, and with each new twist in villainy Team Voltron has come closer and closer to working as a unit, as a team. And Sendak’s defeat, their victory for Earth, represents a significant shift in the narrative, because this is the first time this group worked clearly and cohesively together across a long, large-scale battle. And this is due considerably to Shiro’s growth into someone who can not only unify, but can rely on his team. 

When Shiro faced Sendak in s1 they fought to a draw. But Sendak came out on top because his team was there to intervene and forced Shiro to yield. Shiro was strong, but alone. Later Shiro tried to interrogate Sendak (again alone) and was shaken to his core which caused him to falter and left viewers with the sense Shiro has inner demons to overcome. 

Because that’s how this trope is supposed to work- The hero fails the first time they face their big bad, spends the majority of their story growing, facing smaller enemies, working themselves back up to the big boss fight. And that’s what happened with Sendak- nevermind Honerva is actually Shiro’s big boss fight 

Shiro and Sendak’s fight in s7 is a mirror parallel of their first fight. Seasons later the pair are still evenly matched, but this time Shiro’s team is unified and Sendak is alone. Where he discarded his team, literally used them as cannon fodder, Shiro built rapport with his, protected them and trusted them to play their roles. 

Keith delivering the final blow against Sendak was not him stealing Shiro’s hero moment. 

Keith delivering the final blow against Sendak displayed Shiro’s growth into someone who unifies and relies on his teammates. 

Keith delivering the final blow against Sendak underlined, bolded, italicized, and highlighted THE IMPORTANCE OF TRUST AND TEAMWORK. 

The point is that teammates, friendships, close relationships, are to be fostered. Are to be protected. Are to be valued. Loyalty is strength. The point is it’s important to have people you can trust to fill in and cover where you cannot. Because that is how they are going to save the universe.

[agentofship]

Thank you for tagging me @2minutes2midnight​ (looks like we have quite a few shows and answers in common :D)

Pick 5 shows, then answer the following questions. Don’t cheat. Tag 10 (or however many) peeps.

1. Agents of Shield

2. Buffy the Vampire Slayer

3. X Files

4. Scrubs

5. Friends

1. Who is your favorite character in 2?

I’m going to have to go with Spike. Lots of characters are close second like Giles or Willow but Spike is fantastic all through the show. He made a great villain and a very complex, interesting and often touching kind of good guy while always remaining fun and never being boring.

2. Who is your least favorite character in 1?

The whole Ruby/Hale thing felt like a huge waste of time and they weren’t either fun or terrifying villains at all. I also hated Ward as a good guy until 1x17 where I understood where they were going with him. He was, for me, the weakest, most boring character in the show and I spent most of season one wondering why he was there at all :p He was really good as a villain though. 

3. What is your favorite episode of 4?

Hard to chose but My Screwup (season 3) is so well written and shows that Scrubs is not only a goofy comedy but has a lot of beautiful emotional moments.

4. What is your favorite season of 5?

Definitely season five. I can’t remember when I really started watching but it’s definitely Chandler and Monica’s relationship that got me hooked. The whole part where they’re hiding their relationship is hilarious and Ross gets so much funnier during that season too.

5. Who is your favorite couple in 3?

Mulder and Scully obviously.

6. Who is your favorite couple in 2?

Willow and Tara 

7. What is your favorite episode of 1?

Sooooo many, mostly related to FitzSimmons. 1x06 is the one who made me fall in love with FitzSimmons and 6x06 kind of was the episode we’ve always wanted as FS shippers.

8. What is your favorite episode of 5?

Sorry @2minutes2midnight“ I’m not trying to steal your answers but it’s also “The One Where Everybody Finds Out” that comes to mind when I think of Friends :D And there’s also “The One With All The Thanksgivings” which is really gold with all the 80′s flashbacks and Phoebe’s memories from other lives :D

9. What is your favorite season of 2?

Probably 5. Glory was a lot of fun, the way they introduced Dawn was perfect and the finale was epic, beautiful and heartbreaking.

10. How long have you watched 1?

Almost from the beginning so about six years. I started when the show was around 1x13, binged it all and was caught up by the time of the big Hydra reveal.

11. How did you become interested in 3?

My sister used to watch it and I was kind of scared at first but since I wanted to stay late at night as well (the first few seasons used to air kind of late on Saturday nights where I live), I started watching and got a little hooked somehow.

12. Who is your favorite actor in 4?

I honestly love them all but probably Zach Braff. Love him in everything I’ve seen him in.

13. Which do you prefer, 1, 2, or 5?

Right now, I’d probably say 1 because it’s still airing but the two others are starting to be quite old and I keep coming back to it all the time so I’d have to wait about fifteen years to see if I do the same with AoS and then I can give a proper answer :D

14. Which show have you seen more episodes of, 1 or 3 ?

Well X-Files have a lot more seasons (and now we now for sure that it will always be the case :() and I rewatched it all so many times that at some point, I could recite the names of all the episodes by heart (and in the proper order) so yeah, definitely 3.

15. If you could be anyone from 4, who would you be?

Probably Jordan, I wish I had that much confidence.

16. Would a crossover between 3 and 4 work?

That would be quite unlikely but in one of the lighter episodes of X-Files, why not...

17. Pair two characters in 1 who would make an unlikely but strangely okay couple.

All my ships are either canon or very popular. I don’t know if it’s considered unlikely but I really like Sci&Spies lately <3 

18. Overall, which show has the better storyline, 3 or 5?

Those are very different and X Files definitely has a more complex storyline (although it’s gotten quite messy after season seven) but Friends has been almost perfect all along for me in terms of storyline (except the whole Rachel/Joey thing) so... But still probably X-Files.

19. Which has the better theme music, 2 or 4?

Honestly, I loooooove the music in both but Buffy’s theme music is legendary and so representative of what I love that I have to go with that.

Again, I’m really late at this so I think pretty much all my mutuals have been tagged, but if you want to do it, consider yourself tagged :)

[apprentice-nylah]

So initially I never bought into the idea that Juliette was ex-Optimus or is currently double agent-ing Optimus because they were playing that card with Renzi already but the more info that comes out about her in other routes, the more and more plausible it seems. 

I just wanted to write this to get my thoughts all in one place. Keep in mind I could be misremembering things because I rarely ever replay routes and there’s only so many screenshots on Tumblr of various interactions. There are also things I just plain forgot and may be missing here. There’s also a lot of assumptions and guessing in it too. I could be completely wrong but this is just a theory I’ve pieced together with some interactions Juliette has had with other Syndicate members in mainly Andi and Lorelei’s routes. 

I know we'll probably never get a Juliette route cuz the Lovestruck producers are cowards, but I can dream, right?

I really started to be on board with this in Lorelei’s route, to be honest. MC started out with mentioning how wealthy and put together Juliette was, (”long blonde hair that definitely costs a firstborn child to maintain”), also talking about an upscale coffee shop and saying “of course this is the type of high-class place she would frequent.” We know she’s wealthy and likely upper class, also from Dahlia telling MC to not worry about Juliette’s finances. There’s only so many places that Juliette could have gotten wealth like that. She could have hacked all her wealth, but that doesn’t really seem to be Juliette’s style. She’s more into espionage and meme’ing. Theft doesn’t seem to be her style, even from Optimus. Sure, she gets dirt and confidential info from them and leaks it on the web, but that is usually to further the Syndicate’s goals, not her own. But it isn’t an impossibility either. She could have been born into a wealthy family and have family wealth, but there’s absolutely no evidence of this anywhere and they’d be bringing in a whole new aspect of her character, which is possible since we know barely anything about her. I know there’s this theory that she’s the kid or just related to some Optimus higher up, possibly the CEO. Or she could be involved with a large corporation. The only ones we know of that would fit that bill are ChatSphere or Optimus. ChatSphere is a possibility since Duke and Zeke seemed to have founded the Syndicate and since Duke owns ChatSphere it’s possible he got her from his own company. But we know he’s not against recruiting ex-Optimus people as shown with Lorelei. I don’t think we know exactly when Lorelei or Juliette joined the Syndicate (we may and I’ve just forgotten though), but I think we have to assume it was relatively early since Duke, Zeke and Lorelei all knew Juliette’s identity, while Renzi and Andi (and MC) who we know joined later did not. 

Which goes into the first real solid piece of evidence I think.

How does Dahlia know anything about Juliette's finances? Juliette is super protective of her identity for unknown reasons at the moment. The most we get is that her life would be ruined if her identity got out, but at the same time, every single member of the Syndicate is in a similar position. Andi’s route is probably the prime example of that. What makes Juliette’s case so extreme? She goes so far as to never show her face, use voice modulation and parade around as a man instead of a woman. And if she’s so protective of it, again how does Dahlia know anything about Juliette’s finances? It could probably be seen as Dahlia basically telling MC, in general, she doesn’t need to worry about people’s finances, but that seems a little... weird. But Dahlia is also relatively high ranking at Optimus I believe, seemingly one or two steps below board members, somewhere in the realms of Sunny or Charles? So it makes sense she’d know board members, having what seems like some sort of working relationship with Scarlet and Karma. 

Also in either Lorelei or Andi’s route (I forgot who, to be honest), when she introduces herself to the rest of the Syndicate; MC, Renzi and Andi, Renzi has a look of recognition, MC says it looks like Renzi recognizes her from somewhere. If we take this at face value, we know that Renzi’s route job is working for Optimus (as well as the rest of the routes). And unless he’s just randomly seen her on the street, which if that was the case, I can’t imagine why he wouldn’t have just said so (like hey I recognize you from the boba shop), it seems like the only other place he could have recognized her from is Optimus. And it would explain why he wouldn’t just blurt that out since no one knows that he’s a double agent for Optimus (except perhaps Juliette herself, especially if she’s a board member). He’s rather high up in the security section of Optimus and if Juliette was a board member then it stands to reason he’d have at least brushed shoulders with her since in Andi’s route, it seems like he’s had extensive interactions with Scarlet and Karma who are also board members. Even if he hasn’t seen her face, as it seems looking back at the interaction, as soon as Juliette introduced herself, then he had a look of recognition. So at the very least, he recognizes her name, again, possibly from being a board member of Optimus and Renzi would certainly be in a position to know about most if not all of the board members by name as head of security. 

Juliette is a tech genius and from what I’ve gathered each of the named individuals at Optimus have their own specialties/departments. We haven’t seen a board member or even an underling like Sunny or Charles with a tech background (as far as I can tell, I haven’t played Duke or Renzi’s routes and only have second-hand knowledge). Scarlet is the “face” of the company as the superhero. Karma seems to be sort of a social media/socialite of sorts. Ajax is the security guy (I think?). It makes sense that Juliette could be a board member in their tech branch because as a massive company like that, especially with the social media presence, as well as security they have, they have to have a lot of tech ingrained in the company. It would also make sense as to why Juliette is so adept at hacking into Optimus, knowing exactly what their weaknesses are and how to combat them. Obviously, she could just be an awesome hacker and figure it out on her own, but it would give her edge if she helped design it all. Renzi does mention that security didn’t try to hard to keep her out. She could just have the best hacking skills or she could have had a hand in creating it. Again, Renzi should know about the security capabilities of Optimus pretty well. 

She also has a long history with Lorelei as we know from her route and if Lorelei was a founding member of Optimus that we know from Andi’s route, if Juliette was also one or even came on later, especially as a board member, she would certainly know Lorelei’s full history and we know Lorelei is not enthused about sharing her history with anyone. Or at least is very reluctant to do so. I’m not 100% sure if Duke and Zeke know her full history (they may but I’ve just forgotten), but Juliette seems to hint in Lorelei’s route that she does know a lot about Lorelei. And that they have a mutual history. Again, all we know about Lorelei’s past in any sort of detail is her history with Optimus. That could easily be the link between the two if Juliette was/is a board member. 

She seems to have a few good/reliable leads on where Optimus board members are hiding in Andi’s route, which again, could be just from good hacking skills. But equally, she could easily have insider information. And, to be honest, she’s also technically in hiding. As she has been since VN started, but if she’s a board member, she’s also hiding out as well. So that statement of Optimus board members hiding out until everything dies down does also apply to her. 

The one piece of evidence that I could find at the moment to contradict this is in Andi’s route when they’re forced to fight Optimus guards, she fights on the side of the Syndicate members, but to me, the way around this is that she’s kept her identity as a board member on the down low at Optimus so that only the higher up employees would know her and the average guard would not. That or she just didn’t have any other choices in the moment and figured she could clean up her identity at a later time through hacking. 

Anyways, just my theory about Juliette’s secret background. I know we’ll never fucking find out because I’m real skeptical at this point about getting a Juliette route since it seems like they’re just quickly wrapping up VN because of some backend producer/employees leaving? I don’t really keep a close eye on all of that drama, but I will say the ending of Duke and what seems to be getting to the end of Andi’s route seems really... unfulfilling. Which is unfortunate. Especially because Love and Legends have had a full 8 (possibly 9 if they do honeymoon season) seasons, and Gangsters in Love is on 9 as well. Whereas VN is only getting 5? Maybe 6. 

Again, there’s probably a lot I’ve missed, but these are just some pieces of fragmented evidence with some guessing/speculation that could point to a solid backstory for Juliette. 

[lillotte17]

*Flings Clusterfuck fill that no one asked for into the Void*

Uthvir is @feynites

It has been more than five years since Mana’Din plucked Aili and her wounded heart from the jaws of death and brought them to the Hidden Estate.

It is not a very long time in the grand scheme of things, but it is long enough that their situation seems to have settled into something of a rhythm. Vhenan is slowly regaining their equilibrium, although their condition still seems to fluctuate day by day. The other Uthvir and Thenvunin stop by and say hello when they are not busy with their own duties in Daran. Uthvir more often than Thenvunin, naturally. They are not quite friends, not lovers, and not family, but it is…something. Connection. Aili has them, and her heart, and her work, and it is more than she ever thought she would have after the Veil went up and the Empire fell.

More than she could ever deserve. 

The Lavellan who has grown up as Uthvir’s daughter wants to explore the other worlds through the Eluvian as Aili does. As the other version of Lavellan that rules this territory does. She is of age, and she has permission from her superiors, but her parents are still not happy about it. She has offered to keep an eye on her, but she doubts it is much consolation. The trust between them all is still thin and brittle.

Vhenan’s condition unnerves them, and her familiarity with Uthvir and their secrets makes her a potential threat. It is understandable, even if it hurts. And it hurts more than even she expected.

Despite their improvement, Vhenan still gets anxious if she is away from them for more than a few days, so Aili’s scouting ventures have been somewhat limited thus far. She is usually sent to worlds that have already been stabilized, as opposed to exploring new ones. Her duties primarily involve checking on the progress made by other agents, and bringing reports back to Mana’Din for review. It is hardly less fascinating despite being a glorified mail carrier.

But there have been occasions where she has been the first to set foot in a new world, and she has made some discoveries of her own. She has met a few people with some achingly familiar faces, and one or two who she had not known by sight, but had heard of through others. Desire and Glory. Uthvir and Thenvunin. Her old friends from the Lower City districts. Her parents. She has even seen a few different versions of herself, although she tends to keep her distance.

Perhaps that is why it takes her a moment to recognize the injured woman in the temple.

The eluvian that connects this world to Mana’Din’s is out in an old abandoned shrine deep in Mythal’s territory. It had not started there, of course, but the mirror’s original location was a bit too conspicuous for agents to be passing through at regular intervals. It had taken quite a bit of effort to move it, but Mana’Din had wanted a reliable escape route for anyone who might need to flee from the Empire. The Evanruis have already risen to power here, and events seem to be following the typical path to war and ruin. It has not been determined if an intervention should be made yet, though. Or how to go about it.

None of the scouts have visited this particular world for nearly a year, and Aili had volunteered to do a check-in to see how things were progressing on the political front. It’s a fairly easy job, and one that she has handled several other places before. Usually, it only takes a day or so to overhear enough information for a report.

Needless to say, Aili had not expected to step out of the eluvian and find a woman slumped over on the floor in the next room. And she certainly had not expected the woman to be an alternate version of herself.

Clearly, the feeling of surprise is a mutual one.

“Who…are you?” the other Aili rasps at her. Her breathing is labored, and she is caked in dirt and blood, curled tightly around some sort of bundle, or perhaps a pack. “You can’t…be in here. No one can be here. Vhenan… Uthivr set the wards. We’re the only ones who can get in.”

“I came through the eluvian,” Aili tells her, “So, technically, I was already inside. Are you hurt?”

She takes a step closer, hand reaching out with the intention of healing.

“Keep back!” her other self snaps, sending a weak spurt of flame in her direction as a warning, “You can’t have used the eluvian; it isn’t connected to the network anymore. We checked. And stop using my likeness, it’s creepy.”

She lets out a series of wracking coughs, and blood dribbles down her chin. Not a promising sign. Nor are the bronze markings on her face. Falon’Din’s vallaslin.

“I can change my features if you like, but this is the face I was born with, just as you were,” Aili says softly, “My father’s name was Adhamh, and my mother was Ina’then, and I grew up in a little settlement deep in the wilds of Ghilan’nain’s territory. The first shape I learned to take was a fox, and I used to use it to sneak out in the evenings and sit in the halla paddock and watch them graze. I came from another world, which I’m sure you don’t believe, but if you don’t let me heal you, you’re liable to bleed out onto the floor.”

“It’s no use,” the other Aili grimaces, “The hunters used poisoned weapons. They're the only ones allowed to carry the antidote, so their prey has to come to them willingly if they want to live. If you are who you say, then you can’t help me, and if you are a spy, then I would rather die than be captured. I won’t be his pawn or his plaything.”

“You said Uthvir set the wards here; what happened to them?” Aili asks, feeling a deep chill settle in her gut. Dreading the answer. “Maybe the two of us could kill one of the hunters. Bring the antidote back…”

“Taken,” her counterpart says with tears welling in her eyes, sounding beaten down by it, “Either that or dead, but I do not think so. Falon’Din wanted them alive. They stayed behind so we could… I could escape.”

“They saved you from serving Falon’Din?” Aili wonders, "Is that how you got out here?"

“Only…by chance,” her other self replies haltingly, “There was a… ‘celebration’ when Ghilan’nain presented me to Falon’Din. An appeasement…to make him stop harassing a few of her border towns. Andruil…thought it would be...amusing for Uthvir to be there because…”

“Because of their past relation to Glory,” Aili surmises. The other version of herself nods weakly. “Am I right in guessing that this party ended with some sort of disaster?”

The other Aili nods again.

“We…ran,” she says, sounding tired now, “It all happened so fast. Accusations and fighting…magic and blood. Uthvir was discovered and I…saw my only chance for escape. And we just kept running. Kept moving and hiding. For more than two years, until…we had to stop.”

“Why would you have to stop?” Aili wonders.

Her other self seems to rouse herself a bit at that, tightening her grip on the bundle in her arms again.

“Are you…really another version of me?” she asks with a slight edge of panic, “How can I trust you?"

“I am,” Aili says firmly, “I would swear it, if you asked me. I will promise anything you need me to in order to feel safe. Let me help you, the elvuian to my world is just in the next room, and we have Healers who have expertise in treating all sorts of wounds. Even poison. I can carry you if you don’t think you can walk. Please, let me try to save you. And then, once you are well again, we can come back and rescue Uthvir. Together.”

“You would…rescue Vhenan?” she blinks at her in disbelief. “But you’ve never even met them.”

“I have an Uthvir of my own, whom I love dearly,” Aili tells her, “And even if I did not, I would hardly abandon anyone to Falon’Din. I can meet them when you introduce us.”

 “I would…like to see them again,” she sighs.

"And you will," Aili smiles at her.

The other woman shakes her head tiredly.

"It is too late for me," she says, her voice thick with regret, "And besides, you'd never be able to carry both of us safely through whatever crossroads you took to reach this place."

"Both of you?" Aili blinks in confusion.

The other Aili nods, shifting the bundle in her arms to reveal a small round face surrounded by blonde curls, swaddled in furs and fabric. A baby, likely no more then three or for months old. Sound asleep despite all the panic and commotion this day must have brought.

"Is that…"Aili beings to ask before her voice seems to fail her, overcome with awe and something that starts the prickle of tears behind her eyes.

"Mealla," her other self breathes out, expression softening at the look on her face, "My daughter. I put a sleeping spell on her when the hunters attacked, but it will wear off soon. I don't want… She shouldn't see…what happens to me."

"But you have to survive now!" Aili insists, "Your baby needs you! If we're quick and careful, I'm sure I can get you both back to my world."

"The journey to your home…is it safe?" they dying woman asks.

Aili thinks of the long slick paths woven from spellwork. The vast hungry darkness between this world and her own. It is not overwhelmingly perilous, especially not for those who have walked its paths several times over, but it is not completely free of hazards either.

Her other self seems to read the answer in her silence. She heaves a deep sigh which turns into a harsh sounding cough. Aili reaches out to lightly touch her arm in consolation.

"You can't gamble my daughter's life for the slim chance of saving mine," her alternate self informs her in a tone that implies that she is not going to hear any more arguments about it. She shifts her arms slightly in order to take hold of Aili's hand, gripping it fiercely with what little strength she must have left. "You told me that you would make whatever promise I asked," she reminds her, "Tell me that you will take my daughter far from here. Someplace sheltered and secure; beyond the reach Falon'Din's gaze. Raise her as if she were your own. Teach her our mother's songs and our father's kindness. Love her…as much as you can. With everything you can. Swear it to me, and you will have my trust."  

Aili lets out a deep breath of her own, slightly exasperated with her own stubbornness, even though she knows in her heart of hearts that if their roles were reversed, she would make the same choice.

"I swear to do all that you have asked and more," she vows solemnly, "Mealla will be loved and valued and cherished as long as I draw breath." There is a brief flash of light as the bond seals between them and they share a weak smile, and a silent moment of understanding. "But…what can I tell her when she starts asking questions?" Aili wonders, "I don't want to lie to her."

"Tell her…that her parents loved her very much," the other Aili answers hoarsely, "And we did everything we could to protect her."

Aili nods once as she extends her arms out towards her counterpart, barely daring to take a breath as she passes her daughter to her with trembling hands. Tears start sliding down her cheeks as she looks down at the little face tucked safely in the blankets. A glance at the other version of herself confirms that her eyes are far from dry as well.

"I wish…there was more I could do for you," she confesses, "I wish I could have gotten to you sooner."

"You are saving my daughter," the other Aili says, managing a weak smile, "That is more than enough. Although…"

"I will come back for Uthvir," Aili promises, guessing her counterpart's intent, "As soon as Mealla is secure. I won't leave them behind to suffer at Falon'Din's hands."

"Thank you," the other Aili sighs, her eyes sliding shut. "And…if the spell doesn't wear off… If Mealla does not wake… Will you stay with me?"

Aili shifts the babe in her arms so that she can take the dying woman's hand in her own once again.

"I will stay until you are sleeping."

Her counterpart cannot seem to manage any more words, but she squeezes her fingers in gratitude. They sit together quietly for a few minutes, until Aili beings to hum softly. An old lullaby that her mother used to sing to her when she was very little. She wonders if Ina'then sang the same song to this version of herself. She thinks she must have, if the way she finally seems to relax is any indication, but perhaps it is simply that she does not have the strength to be tense any longer.

A few moments later, and her breathing stops. Chest still. Hand gone slack within Aili's grasp.  

She looks down at the face that bears such a striking resemblance to her own. Grieving, but a strange, silent sort of grief that comes when looking at your own death. It is not something most of the immortal elves of Elvhenan have pondered over-much. The magic of this time is capable of healing almost any injury, and so long as one keeps clear of the Evanuris and their penchant for sacrifices, there is hardly a need to suspect that death may come at any moment. Torment and punishment, perhaps, but not death. Not a true ending.

But Aili has lived among mortals for hundreds of years while her own world was sundered by Fen'Harel's Veil. She has seen the mask of death fall over countless faces. Young and old. Strong and feeble. Wicked and benevolent. There have even been a fair few scrapes where she had thought that death had finally come for her.

And now it has, in a way.

She folds her counterpart's hand over her chest gently before reaching up to touch her face, frowning at the lines of ownership still branded there.

She settles Mealla gently on the floor beside her for a moment, needing both hands for the spell she has in mind. She could not heal the other Aili's wounds, or stop the poison racing towards her heart, but she can give her this. A few whispered words and a gentle wave of light, and the brands are gone. The skin of her face as smooth and bare as that of her infant child.

"Ar lasa mala revas," Aili says softly, gathering Mealla back into her arms and rising to her feet, "You are free at last, sister."

~

Mealla does not being to stir from her magically induced slumber until Aili nearly has her almost all the way through the paths beyond the eluvian and back to the Hidden Estate, which is a relief in more than one quarter.

The more Aili considers the ramifications of what just happened and what she promised to do, the more she begins to panic internally. She does not have permission to be a parent from Mana'Din. She does not even have a petition for a child waiting around in some clerk's office waiting to be signed. Her standing with the Evanuris is…complicated. She does not think she is evil or corrupt, in the same way that the rest of her family has become, but power does strange things to people, and Aili has done little to hide her disdain for her title. There is no reason to think that she would be permitted to keep Mealla as her child.

Especially not when there are so many others in the territory who would gladly volunteer to become parents. Perhaps Mana'Din might even ask Thenvunin and Uthvir to take on the responsibility. They are just as related to Mealla as Aili can claim to be, and they have already proven that they are capable of raising a child. Aili can see the logic of it, and she can concede that it would not be the worst possible outcome, as Uthvir, at least, would almost certainly let her visit as often as she wanted, but…

Mealla is her daughter.

A child born from the love she shares with Uthvir. She cannot think that there was any other way she might have been created, even if it was not precisely intentional. It is an old dream that Aili had given up on long ago. To build a family with them and slowly watch some of their sharper edges turn soft. Deep fears that had been struck when they were new, eased into quiet murmurings by years of kindness and uncomplicated paternal devotion. After all they have suffered and sacrificed, it seems only fair that the universe should give them something back.

But perhaps merely finding her Heart again in the ruins of Andruil's palace and escaping the death of their world to reach this place is all the compensation they are slated to receive. It is certainly nothing to scoff at. And Vhenan… She knows that they would never harm a child when they were in their right mind, but there are days when they are not. When the darkness creeps into the space between their memories and they cannot quiet tell if Aili is their Heart or their Lady, and they are prone to panic. Lashing out, occasionally with violence. The few times Aili had not been there when such a mood had struck them…it had not ended well.

She can see why someone might be reluctant to put them in charge of any sort of infant care.

Mealla chooses this moment in the scheme of Aili's worrying to begin wriggling a bit in her arms, and it is not long before her new daughter is scrutinizing her with wide curious eyes. A darker violet than her mother's, with a few stray flecks of blue. Aili holds her breath, waiting for a verdict, wondering if the child in her arms can tell that she is being carrying by a stranger.

 For her own part, Mealla seems content enough to simply stare at her thoughtfully, unperturbed by the anxiety in her aura. She only begins to make sounds of grumbling dissent when she takes notice of the vast emptiness surrounding them, shifting around in her blankets until she has a free hand to clutch at Aili's cloak and burrowing her face into her chest, seeking comfort. Aili's heart makes a great stuttering leap, as though it might be about to escape her body, and any lingering shred of doubt about whether or not she should fight for the right to keep her baby promptly vanishes from here mind.  

She adjusts the furs and blankets around Mealla, as well as her own cloak, doing as much as she can to hide her from view, and hurries down the rest of the path towards Mana'Din's eluvian.

Luck seems to be on her side as she enters the large room that holds the giant mirror, it is largely dark and there are only one or two sentries on duty. She had left at midday, but time can pass strangely in the space between, and in other worlds as well. It is clearly the middle of the night. No one was expecting her back this early, so no one will be looking for her yet, but the guards will not necessarily find it suspicious that she has come home so soon. There has been more than one occasion where missions had to be rescheduled or reassigned due to Vhenan's condition.

Aili smiles at one of the guards in passing, but makes no other conversation, walking quickly and doing her best not to jostle the babe nestled beneath her cloak. Mealla makes a few small grumbles of protest, but they are already out the door and speedily making their way towards their private chambers. There are a few other small patrols milling about, but most of the Hidden Estate is quiet and still. Aili's heartbeat is thundering in her ears, but she tries not to focus on what might go wrong.

She does not want to upset Vhenan before they even have a chance to meet their daughter.  

They are waiting for her just inside their rooms, ready to reset the wards on the doorway just after she slides inside and locks it behind herself. They still looking dark and somewhat sickly, but much more aware of their surroundings than they had been when they first came to the Hidden Estate. Their gaze is expectant, if a little muddled, and they seem to have a pack and weapons at the ready, in case the two of them need to flee. It's not all that surprising, really, the feelings she must have been transmitting to them through their bond must have been a bit of a jumbled mess. Surprise and sorrow, anger and worry, wonderment and fear. The two of them have contingency plans for how to handle things if living here no longer seemed like an advantage, and she can't fault them for suspecting that something big had happened. Something that would change their lives forever.

Aili swallows thickly, unsure of where to begin her explanation. Vhenan reaches out to her, brushing fingers over her cheek uncertainly as they let out a long breath. Seeing her standing before them in one piece seems to ease some of their tension, at least.

"You are unhurt?" they check.

"I'm fine," she assures them, "I just…met someone, and unforeseen circumstances demanded that I return early."

Uthvir raises an eyebrow at her, tilting their head slightly, waiting for her to elaborate.

"Maybe we should…sit down," Aili suggests.

"Your cloak is moving," Vhenan points out, seeming more curious than startled. Which is good.

"Yes… I brought someone back with me," Aili begins slowly, trying not to sound as nervous as she feels. But there is a tingling excitement to her, too. And a few dangerous prickles of hope. "Someone who will need us to look after them. To keep them safe and protected."

"Another halla?" Uthvir guesses, blinking at her again. Shadows rippling around them briefly in doubt. Aili would not need to bring a foal here unless it was very sick or very very young. They seem to have pieced together that their speculation does not quite fit, but they cannot puzzle out why that might be. Tangled thoughts of Lady Andruil's wife and her cold furies. Knives and hard tables and long calculating stares.

Uthvir trembles, just slightly, and Aili shifts the precious bundle in her arms so that she can reach for them. Calling them back to her with a single soft touch. They take in a sharp breath through their nose and close their eyes for a moment, grounding themselves again before looking back at her and offering an affirming nod, reassurance plucking softly at their bond. Aili beams at them.

"Vhenan, look who I've brought to meet you," she says, pulling her cloak back slowly to reveal the tiny face of the baby still half asleep in her embrace.  

Mealla blinks her eyes up at them curiously, burbling a bit. Uthvir stares back in surprised silence. Aili holds her breath, trying to anticipate all the ways this could go badly and how to best deal with it if they do.

"We…made a baby?" Uthvir wonders, their brow furrowing. They extend a hand towards the child in Aili's arms, nails going round with hardly a thought, before they pause and draw it back again. Their wings fluttering slightly in mild distress. "I…do not remember."

"It's alright, Vhenan," Aili hastens to reassure them, "We didn't really procure her in the usual fashion. You haven't forgotten anything, this is the first time the two of you have met."

"But she is ours," Uthvir says with more confidence than she had been expecting.

Aili grins at them, unanticipated joy seeping out into her aura.

"She most certainly is."

~

 For almost an hour, there is nothing but tranquil delights. Aili sits on the couch with her Heart and shows them the proper way to hold the baby. They are a little nervous for a few seconds, but then something in them seems to settle. Mealla's feelings are simple and her fears are relatively small. And for the moment, she seems content enough to be snuggled and fussed over and adored. Her new parents revel in the marvel of her existence. Happiness suffusing the air around them in a way that neither of them really thought they'd find again. Too many hurts and jagged edges. But their daughter is soft, and it is so easy to categorize their love for her. Shining light into corners of their hearts that have been dark and aching for so long.

A new beginning.

And then Mealla begins to cry. And a great many things seem to go wrong all at once.

Vhenan starts to panic, and the room is doused in shadows. Their daughter makes a startled yelp, and then begins to sob even harder, fear and confusion poured on top of general fussing. Aili finds herself caught up in the tidal wave of her littler family's distress, and suddenly realizes that they have nothing to feed a baby in their rooms. No clothes to change her into. No toys or books or other entertainment meant for growing little minds. Not even a crib for her to sleep in.

A lump rises in her throat as her own fears start to seep out into her aura. If she requisitions something, people will get suspicious. They will ask questions. They will tell Mana'Din, and she will take Mealla away and place her in more capable hands. Favored hands.

Andruil is coming. She will come an take the baby. She will hurt her in order to hurt Uthvir. Again and again and again. Until nothing is left except for places that hurt.

Aili feels the thoughts more than she hears them, and her mind is brought back to the most current and pressing crisis at hand. She makes a dozen tiny motes of light, and sends them buzzing around the room like fireflies. Mealla's eyes track the little specks of magic with interest, her unhappy wails tapering off into a soft discontented warbling, and then slowly transforming into wet-sounding hiccups.

Some of the shadows recede as the baby calms down a bit, the tension in Vhenan's aura lessening ever so slightly at the thought that she is most likely unhurt. At least for now. They still look somewhat wild about the eyes, though. Ready to bolt at the slightest hint of danger.

Aili hums to them, soft and low, stepping closer and linking her arm through theirs, pulling them up onto their feet and gently ushering them into their bedroom. She helps settle them on the bed, with Mealla still safely bundled up in their arms as they sit in a nest of blankets and pillows, and goes to set the wards over the room. They are safe in here. Even someone as powerful as Mana'Din would need a little time to get through all of their defenses.

Vhenan seems to realize this, too. Shoulders relaxing a bit more as they look at her and then back at the child in their lap. They still seem unhappy, though, and Aili does not have much in the way of comfort to offer at the moment.  

"Vhenan, I…I need to ask you to do something very important," she begins. She does not want to scare them, but it is hard when she feels so afraid of it herself.

"We need to hide the baby," they tell her matter-of-factly, "Lady Andruil will come for her. We should leave now, before she arrives."

"The Andruil of our world is long dead, my love," she reminds them gently, sitting down beside them and brushing a few locks of hair back from their face, "But…we did not ask Mana'Din's permission to obtain a child. If she finds out…Mealla might be given to other parents. I doubt she would be mistreated, but she would no longer be ours. We might need to leave, if you think you can handle it. I would prefer not to, since the Healers here have been so helpful with your recovery, but… I don't know what else we can do." 

Uthvir looks genuinely terrified for a moment, before looking down at the baby in their arms and seeming to find the wherewithal to avoid another meltdown. Their wings shiver and their form ripples as the tamp down on it, though. There is something like resignation on the face when they finally turn their gaze back to Aili.

"If you need to leave me behind…I would understand," they tell her dolefully, "You should take the baby, and be safe."

Aili blinks at them for a moment, stunned into temporary silence. But then she simply shakes her head at them, feeling the tears burning behind her eyes as she takes their face between her hands and kisses them soundly. Fierce and devoted.

"Never," she assures them breathlessly, "I would never abandon you, My Heart. You are all I have left of home, and I would rather tear out my own liver than be without you."

"Please, do not do that," Vhenan whispers back quietly, and there is, perhaps, a faint trace of amusement in their tone. Something that sounds a bit more like their old self. Aili snorts fondly.

"I will certainly do my best to avoid it," she promises. "For now, I think the best we can do is try to keep a low profile. No one is expecting me to be back this soon, and we hardly entertain many guests in our chambers anyway. I will sneak out an gather what supplies I can when people are most likely to be asleep, and we can slowly build up a little stockpile of things for Mealla and add them to our own, in the event we need to make a hasty escape. While I am out, though…you would need to watch her. Do you think you can do that? For right now, it just means holding her and soothing her when she fusses, I will bring back food and formula and changing rags if I can get them, and then we can both just…figure out the rest. Together. What do you say?"

Uthvir nods in understanding.

"I will do my best."

"It's not really a good plan for anything long-term," Aili admits, sighing in relief none the less, "But it will do for now. Stay in the bedroom and reset the wards as soon as I leave. Do not let anyone else inside. I will be back as soon as I can."

Uthvir nods again, and she plants a soft kiss on their cheek, brushing her fingers gently through Mealla's curls before getting off the bed and slipping back out into the night.

Things seem to go fairly well for about a week. There are enough small children in the camp at the estate that no one is apt to notice a few extra bottles of formula gone astray. The changing rags and baby clothes had been a bit harder to manage, but there are things like that in a few of the emergency store houses around the estate, just in case they get a large influx of unexpected refugees. Many of the items do not fit Mealla quite right, but it is more than she came here with, and the material is soft and in good condition. They fashion a little hammock for her in a small alcove in their room, possibly intended for a statue or a fountain at one point, and Uthvir even sews her one or two little oddly-shaped toys for her to mouth at.

But then agents begin to notice that Aili has not returned from her mission. An investigation is planned, and inquiries are made. One or two sentries have seen her, but she has filed no reports, and she has not shown up for any of her other duties. The rooms she shares with Uthvir are a bit secluded, but no one has seen either of them coming or going in days. Not to the mess hall, or the camp, or the Healers. When Aili is missing or in danger, Uthvir usually…has problems, but no one has heard form them either.

At first, they only knock on the door. When that does not seem to yield any results after a few days, they begin attempting to break through the wards. But Aili and Uthvir's combined magic reinforcing them, makes it nigh impossible for the midranking overseers at the estate.

Aili almost opens the door when she hears Lavellan's voice on the other side of it a few days later. She has not slept in what seems like ages, and Vhenan is becoming more and more agitated from the stress and the disruption in their scheduled meetings with the Healers.

"Aili?" the other Uthvir's daughter calls, "Are you and Night okay in there?"

She does not answer, although she wants to. Mealla is fine for now, but the little stockpile she has gathered will not last too terribly long, and it is getting harder and harder for her to leave their rooms without being noticed. And she cannot leave at all when Vhenan is in their Deep Sleep, for fear that something might happen to the baby and they would not be able to wake up to care for her.

"…You know, if something happened, you can ask us for help," Lavellan tries.

Aili wavers, just slightly, but then she looks down at Mealla, who has stuffed part of her toy into her mouth and makes a pleased gurgling sound at her, and her resolution solidifies. Lavellan is not cruel, but she is practical, and… Aili can concede that she might not be the best parent. She has never had the chance to raise a child before, she might be terrible at it. But Mealla is her only chance to try, and she loves her so much that the air around her is nearly vibrating with it, and… She can't take that risk.

Lavellan would want to tell Mana'Din, who is her other self, after all, and Mana'Din would take Mealla away.

Lavellan makes a few more cajoling attempts to garner a response, but leaves in silence.

Four more days go by before the Uthvir who works as Mana'Din's spymaster knocks on their door, and Aili is at her wits end. Their food is nearly gone, and Vhenan has been in a Deep Sleep for over a day. She is huddled up on the couch with her child, trying to think of some way to escape.

The sound of Uthvir's voice on the other side of the door, so calm and collected, so much like they used to be when they first met, is enough to bring tears to her eyes. Part of her desperately wants to fling herself into their mercy. But the other part, the part that thinks they might be inclined to take Mealla back to Thenvunin and never let her see her Mamae and Nanae again, is absolutely petrified.  

"If something has gone wrong, you should tell me," they tell her bluntly when she does not immediately respond, "If Lady Mana'Din herself has to come down here and pry your wards open, I suspect it will garner much more attention than you would like."  

 "…I can't," she nearly sobs, "I promised."

"You can hardly keep any sort of promise if you starve yourself to death in your bedroom," Uthvir points out.

 "Y-you're right," she sputters, her arms tightening marginally on the child in her arms, "But I…I don't know what else to do. Vhenan needs help, and I can't leave them, but if we stay…"

"…If I told you that I would offer my assistance, would you at least open the door?" they wonder.

"I'm…not certain you can…" Aili trails off uncertainly, "Maybe…if you could get us out? It would be hard, but we might be able to make it out in the woods. Vhenan is better than they used to be and…"

Her voice tapers off, overcome by a sudden swell of sorrow as she thinks of the last set of parents that had tried to take Mealla and run. What might be happening to Mealla's real Nanae even now as she sits here hiding in the dark. She is too exhausted to hold her emotions in check, and finds herself wracked with sobs and breathless, casting a hasty sleep spell over her daughter so that she does not begin to cry as well and give the secret away.

From the depths of her panic, she thinks she hears Uthvir let out a very deep sounding sigh. A few moments pass, and then there is a slight tug on the bond forged by Glory's shard. It doe not feel quite like Vhenan; it is a much weaker connection. A faint echo of sameness with a tiny warm burst of reassurance. But it is enough to steady her breathing again.

"I cannot do anything for you, if you do not let me inside," Uthvir tells her quietly.

Aili pauses for a few more seconds, still afraid, but even more fearful of somehow endangering the life of her child. She makes a gesture with her hand, dispelling the wards over the door from across the room, and huddles into a tight ball on the sofa. She knows she likely looks like a madwoman. Her hair is in disarray and her clothes have various baby-stains on them. She feels greasy and unkempt, and she's certain that there are dark circles under her eyes.

Uthvir approaches her slowly, as though she is some sort of skittish animal likely to make a break for it, and she cannot deny that it is a fair assessment. The look they give her is one of deep concern. She trembles, fear and desperation mingling in her aura as she turns Mealla in her arms so that Uthvir can see her face.

"P-please," she chokes out as the tears start up again, "Please, help me."  

[shemakesmeforget]

15 fics under 1K kudos

We all know how tempting is to sort fics by kudos, so I'm doing that lol I hope you all enjoy this underrated gems. I might do a part 2, I'm definitely posting a list for wips tomorrow (these are all completed fics btw). I have some moodboards coming, but for now you can check here and for other fic recs here. Okay, let's go!

How to Surprise Your Fiancé With Pork: An Honest Walkthrough by Viktor Nikiforov by Orchids_and_Fictional_Cities (@orchids-and-fictional-cities)

Canonverse, Rated T, 5K 

The thing with Viktor is that once he’s set his mind on something, there is a very very minuscule chance of him not following through on said thing. 

He wants to do something for Yuuri: partly as a Valentine’s Day gift, partly as a prelude to Worlds, and partly ‘just because’. It’s somewhere between dwelling on the abstract thought of Yuuri’s hunger as a competitor, and watching the younger skater on Facetime with his mother back home, that an idea starts to form.. 

-- 

This is how Katsuki Yuuri, the love of his life, the apple of his eye, the fire of his loins et cetera, ad infinitum, finds Viktor when he walks into the door: standing precariously with one foot on a barstool and the other on top of his counter, frantically fanning at his smoke detector with a magazine. 

• This is hilarious, sweet Viktor... he tries so so hard (also I relate to this more than I would like lol)

voices carry by spookyfoot (@spookyfoot)

Canonverse, Rated T, 4K

God Chris is loud, Victor thinks, half of his glass of vodka sloshing onto the floor as another rhythmic thump sounds against the shared wall between his and Chris’ rooms. Would the hotel allow him to change rooms so late at night? He could probably manage it no problem, but his toiletries are spread all over the bathroom and by the time he packs those up Chris and his…guest should be finished.

He’ll have to wait it out.

A moan floats through the wall. Victor’s not sure if it’s approving his plan or warning him to give up while he still can.

He pours himself some more vodka.

“Fill me up,” Chris's Fuck Buddy (CFB) says.

Oh god. Victor takes a long pull of vodka from his glass.

For once, Chris is quiet enough that Victor can’t hear anything beyond a murmur. And he thinks that’s that until—

“Fuck a baby into me,” Chris’ bedmate moans.

Victor chokes on his drink.

_____ 

Meet cute by way of pregnancy kink 

• *heavy breathing* seriously?? You're giving us Yuuri doing the walk of shame and YUUCHRIS??? beware I laughed so hard I cried, so much secondhand embarrassment.

Lay Your Head by kiaronna (@kiaronna)

Canonverse, Rated G, 2K

By the time they end up sharing a bed, they’ve already slept next to each other everywhere else.  

• I LOVE this trope so much omg, you’re in for a treat A DELIGHT.

overture for two (me & you) by oh_fudgecakes (@asideoftrashplease)

Canonverse, Rated E, 21K

Plagued by his poor performance at the GPF, Yuuri’s disastrous free at Japanese Nationals ends not just in eleventh-place, but deals him with a lasting injury, resulting in him retiring before the events of the show. He becomes a commentator, determined to move on from his uneventful skating career. Yet, a series of chance meetings with a smitten Viktor and his own yearning for the ice keeps drawing him back to competitive figure skating. 

In which everything's different, but it all ends the same anyway. 

• Commentor!Yuuri owns me lol (all Yuuris own me), a great balance between angst and humor.

Lead Me To You by luni

Canonverse, Rated E, 68K

Victor Nikiforov, Russia’s living legend of figure skating, is forced to take most part of the season off because of a rather serious injury. A comeback, no matter how exciting or unexpected, is never easy- especially when the person who is supposed to help Victor through most of it is none other than Katsuki Yuuri, former ace of Japan, now retired.

• Role reversal!! Coach Yuuri!!!! angsty af but oh dear they're crazy for each other. 

Ode To Apollo 13 by cerebella (@badkisser)

Space AU, Rated E, 66K

Yuuri Katsuki has his first and only breakup, and reacts the only way he knows how: board a starship and live out the rest of his life in outer space, millions of light years from the home planet he loves. 

It doesn't work.

• Getting back together is a trope I really enjoy, also friends with benefits *praying hands emoji *  Particularly I like the flashback to their school days and, if you squint, you have some sweet yuuchris too <3 

were stars to burn by xylophones (@xyloophones)

Space AU, Rated T, 7K

How should we like it were stars to burn

With a passion for us we could not return?

“I’ll call,” Viktor promises, “I’ll write, I’ll send holo videos, I’ll–– I’ll–– I’ll––”

He doesn’t say “I’ll stay if you ask” but he thinks it. He thinks about asking Yuuri to wait for him.

He won’t.

(But he thinks about it: Yuuri, pointing up at the night sky and saying “there’s the love of my life, among the planets, among the streaks of light above us.”) 

• I dont wanna say I cried like a baby because that would be insulting to babies. So sad and beautiful.

Follow Me Down the Milky Way by Skowronek and voxofthevoid (@kaja-skowronek and @voxofthevoid)

Space AU, Rated E, 17K

When decorated space officer Viktor Nikiforov is sent on a mission to bring down an infamous smuggler, he does not expect to be swept off his feet by a pole dancer as mysterious as he is deadly.

Yuuri Katsuki simply tries to make the galaxy a better place with as little collateral damage as possible, but that's easier said than done when a fleet commander's son sneaks into his ship and a pretty officer with a thigh fetish is after his head and dick both.

• BAMF!Yuuri <3 finally Yuuri's thighs get the appreciation and love they deserve. Very sweet and funny!

quantum entanglement by minsyah (@pockybugi)

College/Coffee Shop AU, Rated T, 17K

For some reason, the man—Viktor—sits in front of him, silver hair flouncing as he settles comfortably into the chair, introducing himself as Yuuri’s new math tutor with an easy smile.

And Yuuri, 25 years old with a Ph.D. in Applied Mathematics…doesn’t correct him.

(Viktor mistakes Yuuri for a high school student struggling with Geometry. Yuuri’s too awkward to figure out how to tell him otherwise.)

• I'm still laughing so hard. The ultimate meet cute! Yuuri is a dork, my sweet child.

Can you, not? by shereadsthestars

College AU, Rated M, 7K

"Stop moving," Yuuri hisses.

"I'm not moving," Viktor hisses right back, causing Yuuri to roll his eyes.

"Yes, you are," he says, adjusting himself to the best of his ability so as to accommodate Viktor's incessant shifting. "Or I wouldn't have told you not to."

"Whatever," Viktor breathes, then, without missing a beat, "Go out with me."

"No." 

• Viktor is so in love, Yuuri tries very hard to not fall in love but everything works out in the end. Cute angst? cute angst!

faking in secret by DefiantDreams (@gia-comeatme)

College AU, Rated T, 14K

It gets kind of difficult when you’re simultaneously fake dating and dating in secret at the same time.

Yuuri and Viktor make it work—until they don’t. 

• FAKE SECRET DATING GOOD GOD. This Yuuri omg!!!! oblivious heartbreakek to the max. Adorable and hilarious.

Foresight, not just foreplay by myoue (@cofferi)

Roommates AU, Rated M, 6K

There’s no way I could have casual sex, Victor says, I’d fall in love immediately. 

• Friends with benefits is my weakness and oh?? This fic???? I adore how they dance around each other. Just wonderful!

life with the dull bits cut out by thishasbeencary (@yoyoplisetsky)

Actors AU, Rated T, 9K

Viktor Nikiforov and Yuuri Katuski have been best friends since acting school. Viktor got his big break early, and brought Yuuri on to every exciting event and premier in his career. As Yuuri's career takes off, he does the same with Viktor. They do everything together, and act like they've known each other for their entire lives.

Their fans think they're in love.

(Spoilers: They are.)

• This fic literally made me cry at work, friends to lovers is my favorite trope ever and mutual pining AND OMG THIS IS SO CUTE I WANNA CRY AGAIN, amazing.

The Viktor Nikiforov Affair by YankingAwry (@rvancoogler)

Heist AU, Rated T, 13K

Viktor tries wooing Yuuri. Yuuri will not be wooed. And then there's the small matter of Viktor being a Russian master criminal art thief extraordinaire, Yuuri being the Interpol agent assigned to handle him, and the imminent theft of a hundred million dollar painting.

There's tension throughout the whole fic, Yuuri tries do hard and Viktor tries the hardest.

• The fic I didn’t know I needed BUT I DID, such a good read! this Viktor must be one of my faves, hands down. 

Comes Love by Multiple_Universes (@witharthurkirkland)

Burlesque AU, Rated M, 46K

People in the audience would crane their necks to watch Yuuri sit and calmly sip his drink. He’d raise the glass to his lips and down its contents slowly, as if the gold liquid was honey and not champagne. Or he’d get a cocktail and drink it through a straw in a way that would make the men around him break out into a cold sweat. Then he’d cross his legs and recline in his seat and it didn’t matter what was happening on the stage: every eye in the room was on him. The regulars often said that no one could cross their legs like Eros did.

That night he sat in his usual spot and watched the stage with unseeing eyes. Two weeks of someone leaving a bouquet of roses would make anyone curious. He’d always find them in the same spot. There were always seven of them. And they always came without a note. But Yuuri knew they were all from the same person.

A Burlesque AU with Yuuri as a performer and Victor as his admirer.

• Are you ready to experience the best visuals of your existence? *fans self* This Yuuri is just too powerful, def too much to handle (praying for Viktor). Strip and fluff is now my new religion. It was angsty at times but overall it was very sexy and cute, so lovely.

[dwaynepride]

Why Prisler Makes More Sense

i said i was doing this. I promised I would do this. I need to do this.

Pride and Rita have been set up as this “star-crossed lovers”, the couple that didn’t happen but they’re getting a second chance. And that’s cool. That’s something I can get behind.

But the way they’re going about it is,,,,,weird. I’ll get to my Rita theory later on, but for now, I’m gonna rant about why Prisler would make a better ship than Prita.

This is (mosty) based on actual canon events, and none of my (valid) headcanons.

CONTEXT/HISTORY

When Rita was first introduced, i didn’t really mind her?? like at this point in the series, i was used to the fact that Pride has all these old friends bc he’s literally a Golden Retriever who has a friend around every corner. so that little exposition of “they used to play together and maybe more???” was tolerable

But if there was a choice between building a genuine and respected relationship and just cheaply “picking up where they left off”, i would pick building a relationship every time.

With Isler, a real relationship has been built. They’ve gone from reluctantly working together for the greater good, to helping each other out “not because i like him or anything”, to being actual friends who will help drag each other out of the abyss.

This relationship hasn’t been shown with Rita. We’ve been told that they’re old friends and they really really care about each other, guys, trust us. We don’t get to see their relationship grow. We don’t get to see them go from old friends to lovers. I mean, we only see Pride give Rita a quick kiss on the cheek bc he was grateful before we see them on an ACTUAL DATE.

This ship is just kinda shoved into our laps with no real build-up or emotional connection and we’re supposed to accept it.

SUPPORT

In the season three finale “Poetic Justice”, Isler saved Pride’s entire ass. Seriously. Things would NOT have ended up in a pretty little bow if Isler hadn’t called in a 100 different favours and faked a fucking undercover mission so that Pride wouldn’t be gunned down by cops. I’m pretty sure that’s, like, against a lot of rules and Isler was chewed out for it.

And “The Last Mile” showed us that Pride is definitely willing to go out on a limb for Isler, as well. Yeah ok Pride will go out on a limb for anybody with big puppy dog eyes and an honest agenda, but that doesn’t change the fact that Pride did skirt around some rules so that Isler can bring down that drug ring. And this was while he was supposed to be on the straight and narrow.

And the end of the episode was beautiful. Pride addressing Isler’s habit. Knowing without being told that he can’t drink. And supporting him so solidly. Calling him a friend. Telling him to come around more often. They have supported each other up two separate times in huge ways.

On Rita’s end of the spectrum, what support does she offer? well, she talked to Pride that one time in “Mirror, Mirror” when Hamilton was trying to get out of prison. Packed him a bag of guns. And she uhhhhh magically brings info from DC that Pride needs.

Other than that scene where Pride comes and brings her to the office after the car flipped and shit, Pride has never really been shown to support Rita either. Not that she needs it bc I guess Rita doesnt need no man and Pride is the only one with giant baggage.

APPEARANCES

Rita has been in five episodes. Just five. And in that time, they have gone from old friends right into a relationship. No build up. I’m pretty sure they kissed in Rita’s second episode???

Isler has been in THIRTEEN. And in that time, they have managed to build a very real bond. Both mutually respectful of the other. They obviously enjoy the others company because of everything they’ve been through.

A canon ship in five episodes, a kiss after ONE, is just insane, previous relationship or not.

CHEMISTRY

I’m very aware that Scott and Chelsea are married in real life. And it’s that reason that their chemistry is admittedly comfortable. More familiar than how Pride and Linda was. I will admit that Pride and Rita are pretty cute when they interact. I can buy a puppy-love vibe.

But that doesn’t erase Pride and Isler’s chemistry. Because I LOVE watching them interact with each other. They both have a great presence, and when they talk and work together, I always find myself smiling. They have such different ways of doing things and always find a way to work together.

And in the later episodes, especially in season four, you could tell they’ve grown to like each other. Joking and making the other smile with little inside jokes and references. It’s really nice to see after Pride’s first words to Isler were “who the hell are you”

EVIL RITA THEORY

I was debating actually putting this because it might not relate to the ship but it’s probably an important thing that should be said, even if future episodes might disprove it. because I think it relates to how badly set up this ship is.

I posted that huge rant about Rita being a double agent against Pride, working for the mysterious DC person to get close to him. so I’ll just paste it below:

i’ve kinda been wanting to talk about this for a little while but

I really hope Rita turns out to be like, a double agent or secretly working with this mysterious DC person who wants to fuck Dwayne up

bc like, this mysterious DC person who wants Pride gone is obviously going through great lengths to get it done. in the Assassination episode, they send some journalist or whatever idk, it’s unclear

but with Rita, i can definitely see her being sent to NOLA to get close with Pride and get into his inner circle. maybe DC person caught on that they have a history and did a Villain Laugh and got Rita to be evil

AND LIKE Rita works in DC so it’s not outlandish to believe she could be corrupt. she seems to have a lot of answers and connections and finds shit out eye emoji

plus like,,,,,,,,,the relationship between Pride and Rita is honestly so weak and contrived and convenient. Rita has been in literally 4 episodes since like the middle-ish of season 3 and they’re relationship is built on the 2 sentences of exposition of “they used to perform together”

and this whole situation is super weak for any type of relationship, i have NO idea how they want to further it. Rita keeps popping back and forth between DC and NOLA. it’s a mess

Pride didn’t need a girlfriend. if he did, it should have been one that LIVED IN THE STATE. there’s a reason why his convenient girlfriend lives and works in DC. there’s a reason why she showed up just as the Hamilton situation was getting hot

it’ll be so much more interesting if Rita has something to do with this whole situation PLS make her semi-useful to the plot

i wanted to like her but if she just continues to be a weird plot device or whatever then idk thank you for listening to my rita TED talk

IN CONCLUSION

In terms of set up, context, relationship growth, and chemistry, Prisler just makes a lot more sense than Prita.

you obviously have a right to disagree with everything I’ve said but these are just the things I’ve noticed about both ships. And it’s my personal opinion.