#I got enough sleep last night. I ate enough yesterday and today. I’m hydrated

[doctormage]

would love to know why some days I can only successfully complete one (1) task and absolutely nothing else. no matter how hard I try! and it’s never the same task, and I don’t get to choose the task, and often that task is not my actual real life job that I need to do for money and healthcare!

[ilguna]

Tacenda - Chapter Four (f.o)

Summary: you’ll never truly be free from the Capitol.

Word Count; 4.3k

Warnings; swearing, DEATH MENTION

NOTES: i give reader a last name to fit the world.

–

It took a little longer to get out of bed this morning, like it had on the train. Finnick sat next to you the entire time while you explained over the nausea. You told him your theory that it’s because you’re stuffing yourself, because it’s logical. All he did was continue to brush your hair out of your face and suggested not to eat as much.

Which was the thing. You ate a light breakfast, stayed hydrated throughout the day. Then you ate healthy snacks while you were getting ready for the parade. And then once again, when you got into the apartment, you ate slowly and tried not to shovel it in too quickly.

Normally you eat as quickly as possible because you won’t fill up as quickly. If you’re taking your time, then of course you’re going to be full faster. And you didn’t even eat that much last night either. You thought it would give you a stomach ache right after eating, but there you were, the morning after.

When you had gotten up, you then noticed a pain in your achilles on your feet.

There’s blisters lining the back of your feet because of the heels that you were forced to wear during the tribute parade. Laurel knew what she was doing when she gave those massive shoes to you, and you have to give her props. Her revenge was silent, but lasting. You’ll have these for a little while.

Unfortunately for her, you know a couple of ways to keep them from getting worse. The first thing you did at brunch–since you and Finnick had gotten up a little later than expected–was complain to Elysia and Mags until they told you to shut up. Elysia told you she would find some healing cream for you to use. But in the meantime, you would just have to deal with it.

To not make them worse, you’ve decided against shoes today. You’ll still be wearing the training outfits that are provided. You had a choice when it came to a top, a sports bra, a tank top and a full-sleeved shirt. You decided for the sports bra, since it wasn’t as uncomfortable as you thought. Plus, the leggings they’ve provided are high-waisted on you. You’re not showing as much skin as you thought you would.

Finnick didn’t really have a chance when it came to what to wear. He slid on his sleeveless tank top and the leggings that he was provided. It was either sleeveless or full-sleeved. Leave it to your husband to show off all the muscle.

After you guys were dressed–opting for a shower after training–you and him said your goodbyes to Elysia and Mags. You two will see them at dinner, but not in-between. They’re sponsor hunting, they’re going to start tying down people.

As you and Finnick head down the hallway, hand-in-hand, he starts to head for the elevator. He knows the plan for today, this is just to throw off anyone that might be watching.

“Let’s take the stairs today,” you tell him, letting go of his hand as you bounce around in the hallway giddily, it’s all an act, “As a warm-up. We can’t just go in there without stretching first.”

“We’re going down the stairs, not up,” he says, but there’s a smile hinting at his face.

“All the same to me!” You smile at him.

You go to grab the door first, but Finnick isn’t having it. He practically pushes you out of the way so he can get there first. All so he can open the door for you, what a dork.

“Thank you.” you chirp, skipping into the stairwell, he follows you in, and even makes a point to pull the door shut entirely.

At the bottom of the staircase is Haymitch, staring up at you guys. You motion for him to go up the couple of steps to where you are. This is mainly to get away from the door, there’s two peacekeepers out there. If they hear anything, they are going to report it. The smart thing to do is get away from the door, and stay quiet.

“I came down the stairs.” he tells you two, “They don’t know I’m in here.”

“Same as us.” Finnick nods.

You lean up against the wall, fanning your face since the humidity in the stairwell isn’t the best. It’s making you feel like you’re overheating, like heat stroke, which you’ve had before in the summertime from being on the boats for too long. The only problem is, you haven’t gone outside since yesterday during the parade. These next few days, you’re going to be inside.

Almost as if Finnick knows that something is up, he wraps an arm around your waist. If you fall, he’ll keep you from collapsing against the cement. Although, being pressed up against his body is making all of this worse. You don’t complain though, you’d rather have his arm around you than not. It’s a safety net.

“Katniss is stand-offish.” Haymitch begins, and you can’t help but snort. Neither of you interrupt him though, “She’s difficult to work with at first, but the more you talk to her, the easier she’ll be.”

“But why?” you ask, “We don’t mind being in an alliance with her, but what’s your motive of making one for her?”

He lowers his voice considerably, “A rebellion.”

You and Finnick share a look, and just right there is enough communication. He gives you a look of ‘this is happening’ and you tell him ‘our time is now’. Just in that one little look, an understanding has passed through you two.

“We’re in.” Finnick says for the both of you, shocking Haymitch, “What will it take?”

Haymitch is shocked, “That’s… it?”

You tilt your head, “The districts are going nuts right now. Just at the mention of it, four goes wild. Now’s the time to do it. What do we have to do to help?”

And just like that, Haymitch launches into his explanation. Starting from the beginning, and how the berries had angered Snow. Katniss and Peeta’s families were on the line, and so they were trying to do everything they could to quiet down the districts. Including a marriage to appease the Capitol to prove that the action was done out of love, rather than resistance.

Haymitch tells you that there’s talk about it everywhere, and people are looking at her. He believes that she can be the face of it. She can get people moving behind her, but a few things need to happen first.

She needs to stay alive. An alliance acts in her best interest, but since she’s stubborn, she won’t be making it by herself. She might suggest a few people that she might like, but other than that, it’s one thing or nothing. The worst thing about it, is that Katniss can’t know that any of this is going on.

Haymitch is supposed to be ‘saving’ Peeta, and not her. Since she was ‘saved’ the first time around, she wants it to be Peeta’s turn. But Peeta doesn’t like that, and he’s already acting with Haymitch to make it look like they’re working in Katniss’s favor. It’s unnecessarily complicated, and you’re not too interested in that.

To boil it down, you and Finnick will spread the word a little bit, bring in people that might find this to be a good idea. Keep it from the careers because they can be difficult. They love the Capitol because they spoil them. So, telling them would result in the destruction of the plan.

Katniss can’t know that any of this is happening. You have to pretend that none of this is happening. Haymitch will give Finnick a bracelet as solidarity with you guys, since you’re going to be the main part of the protection. You’ll show it to Katniss inside of the arena, and just like that, hopefully she’ll put the puzzle pieces together and allow you to help her.

The last part of the plan is keep her alive long enough for them to take her out and take them to District Thirteen. You called Haymitch a lunatic, because everyone knows what happened to thirteen for being rebellious. If they’re still thriving, then you guys would have seen them by now. But all he had to do was tell you that they have a gamemaker in on it already.

That was convincing enough. If a gamemaker is in on this, the plan will be much easier. They have more insight than you guys do. Haymitch can be unreliable, but you asked if he’s sure that Plutarch is trustable, and he told you yes.

After that, you split. Haymitch went back upstairs to get his tributes, and you and Finnick left the stairwell together, hand in hand. You made a comment while passing the peacekeepers about being tired, telling Finnick that you didn’t sleep well last night, and you hope that you’ll wake up more as time goes on.

It wasn’t until you entered the actual building, when you started to feel better. The entire building has AC like you wouldn’t believe. It was only a couple of minutes before you completely forgot about it entirely.

You and Finnick spend a moment, finding people and choosing wisely. Unsurprisingly, he wants to have a chat with Johanna, and you decide that you might as well see Cecelia again. Her and Woof are sticking together it seems, they’re sitting around the bug station.

That’s a good thing to touch up on. The dangers that might be hiding around inside of the arena. There’s so many possibilities and dangers that the arena holds, that it just makes you overwhelmed.

First, it’s fish, and the type that live in the fresh water, or salt water. Next are the types of leaves, is it ivy or not. The trees, do they burn smoke easily? The berries and the chance that they’re poisonous. And this is all to be paired with not having the food, or the iodine to make the water safe. Not being able to skin rabbits and cook it properly so you don’t get sick.

Finnick taught you CPR one of the times on the train while you were teaching tributes before all of this–of course. That goes right along with first aid. You’ve gone as far as to recreate the creams to show the tributes which ones mean which. What’s healing, what’s supposed to be used on your weapon, and so on. You teach them how to stitch, and create stents and the list goes on.

It’s so simple to overlook something like bugs. When you’re so worried about literally everything else.

Cecelia offers you a big smile when you sit beside her. Watching as she and Woof easily identify the types of bugs. You keep the conversation light, and then you begin to enter in the keywords.

“How would you feel about an alliance?” you ask, she looks up, “This can go for you and Woof.”

Woof smiles, but Cecelia looks a little confused, probably wondering what’s bringing this all on. You almost can’t believe that she thinks that you wouldn’t invite her into an alliance with you and Finnick. She’s practically your best friend, for her not to be in it would be stupid.

“Sure, is Finnick fine with this?” she asks, going back to the bug game.

“Actually, a few of us are okay with this.” it’s a hint that there’s more than one of you, “it’s sort of a protection plan.”

Cecelia nods, thinking about this. You hope that she’s smart enough to get this. She’s raised three kids that have spoken in cryptic ways when they’re toddlers. It can’t be that hard to decipher the double meaning in words. You had to go through this all with Alyssum.

“Behalf?” she asks subtly.

“Katniss.” you tell her, “Girl on fire, it’s quite a brand isn’t it? It’s almost like she’s trying to set the Capitol ablaze.”

Her eyes flicker to yours the same time that Woof does, “Is that so?”

“You don’t think so?” you’re hoping that isn’t a no.

You watch as Cecelia’s face slowly holds a smile, “I do think so. Count me in.”

“Me too.” Woof tells you.

“More info to come.” you mouth quietly, and they nod slightly, “Nice seeing you guys again.”

Deciding that visiting two people is enough, you go ahead and head over to one of the knife throwing stations. As you get closer, you can see that they have projections now, it’s not just dummies anymore. They move, and get closer, and throw virtual weapons.

“Perfect.” you laugh, stepping up to one of the stations.

At the programming, you go ahead and make it the hardest possible. You select your weapon, keeping it at knives. It’ll be easier to throw than spears. Spears, you have to get your hands right on the hilt before throwing it. As for knives, you’re literally picking them up and throwing them.

You go ahead and pick up a few, feeling them in your hand. As a test run, the program automatically gives you one to start with. You have to find your footing first. You’re not in shoes, you’re barefoot. It’ll be easier for you to slip, since your feet aren’t gripped like the bottom of a shoe is.

However, you’ve been training for months for this exact moment. It might have been in shoes, but you haven’t fallen in a long ass time. You’ve always caught yourself, gradually becoming less clumsy as time goes along.

You throw the knife, being careful as to watch how it flies through the air. It hits the hologram in the middle of the chest, and then the blocks crumble. Just like that, the game has started, and they’re coming at you. For a moment, you’re overwhelmed, because you need to find a pattern for it.

Then, it all comes to you. They come in twos to three’s. You can hit them the first time if you aim for the chest and above. You’re typically hitting them in the head, getting them down the first time around. But on the off chance of missing it the first time, you always have an extra fourth knife in your hand.

You take them on at one at a time. The closest one is always the easiest, you get them out almost immediately. The second one is a little harder, you lean forward a bit more for this one. And the final one, is the one you’re needing the fourth knife for. They’re farther back on purpose, and they don’t come any closer past the half-way mark.

You throw with more force, allowing your body to move forward with the momentum that you build. The knives rest between your left hand’s fingers. You’ll grab the handle, flip for the blade, and then chuck.

The game is over before you realize it. There’s no more people coming at you, it’s just the playing field in front of you.

This is when you’re able to see that you’ve successfully hit the wall, that’s over twenty-five feet away from you, hard enough to get the entire knife into the wall. The ones that weren’t tough enough to make it through, dented.

“Damn.” Finnick’s voice is smooth, he whistles slightly, “That was good.”

You turn slowly, almost like you’re revealing yourself. And then it’s all at once and you’re doing jazz hands.

“This–” you jab your thumb at the station, “–is fucking awesome. I could do this all fucking day.”

“Well, go ahead,” he motions, “Do it again.”

You bounce slightly, heading back to the programming thing for the station. You go through the settings of it, curious on what it holds. These things are brand new, and they have endless possibilities on things you can do.

“It can be for two people!” you tell Finnick, looking over your shoulder, wiggling your eyebrows a little bit, “Wanna fight with me?”

Finnick laughs, coming up the steps to join you, “Don’t have to ask me twice.”

“Good.” you set it up, “I was afraid I might have to force you. It’s set to knives, and the hardest it can be.”

“Nothing we can’t handle.” Finnick is proud.

You start it, picking up on your technique. You don’t let Finnick know what the pattern is, letting him figure it out on his own. He takes a different approach with it, throwing the knives one at a time, rather than gathering them into his hands. It’s almost like he’ll be overwhelmed if he did it that way.

Eventually, you two have caught up with the system, even if there’s double the amount of holograms running at you. You and him turn it into a competition to see who can get them the fastest. Finnick is ahead, getting the most, moving faster than you are, but the ‘one at a time’ technique eventually fails on him.

You can only hold so many knives in your hand at once, but it works. You can get four or five of them down, leaving one for Finnick because you’re throwing yours so quickly. Eventually, he begins to give up, allowing you to take on the challenge that’s supposed to be for two people.

The last one that comes at you is a little quicker. You take your time with ending the game. Letting him get as close as possible before throwing the knife dead at his chest.

You’re pouring sweat. You can feel it almost everywhere on your body.

“I need a rag, holy fuck.” you wipe your forehead, and the back of your hand literally looks like it’s had water dumped on it.

Finnick grabs one for you, and then one for himself. You sit on the steps as you dry up your skin. Your forehead, the back of your neck, Finnick does his best to pat your back dry.

Your body feels like it’s vibrating from the exercise. It’s a good feeling, you haven’t felt this alive in such a long time. If the hunger games were targeted just for fighting rather than killing people, you might have volunteered sooner. The whole arena, and weapons and testing your survival is a good way to keep your skills in check.

Except, it’s a punishment, so there’s no way that this will ever be just an event for fun. It’s not fun, hundreds of kids have died because of it.

“How are you feeling?” Finnick asks.

“So good.” you tell him, “I need water, and then some time before I do that again.”

“Wanan fuck around with knots?”

“Sure, I could teach you how to tie a noose.”

You get off of where you were sitting, stretching slightly, and then you toss the towel wherever. It doesn’t matter, you won’t be the one cleaning it up, and you could care less about manners. They’re sending you into the games, who cares about one measly little towel?

Someone will come after you and pick it up. Finnick follows the same thing you did, and you skip your way over to the knot tying station. Fortunately, this is the same time that the doors to the training center open.

Finnick looks over, “Girl on fire approaching.”

The guy from nine suddenly pukes, and you cover your mouth, laughing to yourself. Finnick can’t help but to laugh too.

“First impressions always stick,” you snort, stopping in front of the ropes, “Oh shit! Look, they’ve got different types.”

Finnick joins you. He messes around with the rope, creating several different loops, and then he’ll pull it apart. You on the other hand, tie the constrictors knot, and even pull the entire rope off of the display.

“You think you could hang me from the ceiling?” you ask, looking up to see how far away it is, “It would be kinda impressive to get down from there.”

“Don’t test your luck,” he shakes his head at you.

“I think I might!”

You untie the knot that you had made, and instead make one of the ends of the rope heavy. You swing it around a couple of times to make sure that it won’t fall apart, and when it’s sturdy, you toss it straight for the beams. You miss the first time around, but the next, it goes over.

“Oh, this is gonna be fun!” you laugh, “Watch–I can make a swing out of it.’

Finnick does watch as you make a couple of knots to sit and stand on, evenly spaced out. Then, you get on the end with the knots, and use the other side of the rope to pull yourself up.

“This is not real life,” Finnick laughs, “How?”

“Push me,” you laugh, and he complies, “Okay listen, there was a tree that we had in our backyard that was fucking huge. Not as high as these beams, but it was pretty big.”

“Let me guess, you made a tire swing or something dumb like that?”

“Exactly. We used to use old rope that we got from the square, so naturally they snapped easily. This is where I got a ton of practice with getting the rope over a tree branch.” you smile a little bit, “I would always have to climb the tree to tie the rope down, even if it wouldn’t last very long.”

“Which is how you were able to climb that tree so easily.”

“Ding ding!” you laugh, slowly letting yourself down from where you were in the air, “If only Reed were able to see me now. Instead of training, I’m swinging on a rope just for nostalgia’s sake.”

“I see nothing wrong with that.” Finnick tells you, “It’s my turn.”

You laugh, and he gets fixed onto the knots how he wants. You both pull the rope to get him up a little higher, and then you push him so he starts swinging too. You can see some of the other tributes stopping to stare at you guys. Acting like you’re a bunch of nutcases.

Eventually, Johanna jumps down from where she was practicing and heads over to you two.

“Really?”

“Don’t act like you don’t want to try.” you smirk, “Wanna go up next?”

“I think I’ll pass,” she goes over to grab a bottle of water.

“Johanna Mason, the girl who never had fun.” Finnick laughs, letting himself down too, “God, that hurts the thighs.”

Johanna rolls her eyes, “I know how to have fun, thank you.”

She then squirts water at you two, smiling slightly as she heads back to where she was practicing. Unbothered, you turn back to the rope swing.

“I should definitely hang upside down.”

“That is where I draw the line.” Finnick tells you, beginning to pull the rope down, “You’re not doing that.”

“Oh, why not?” you pout slightly, but there’s a smile on your face.

“You know why.” he tells you, gathering up the rope and then tossing it back into the display it came from, “What’s next?”

“Fish hook making?” you suggest, offering your hand for him to take.

He does take it, and squeezes your hand tightly, “Mine are going to look so much better than yours.”

“Another competition?” you ask, “Are you sure you can handle it?”

“Honey, we both know who’s the better fisher here.”

And only five minutes later, Finnick is eating his words.

“All the fish have fallen asleep again.” you tell him, “Or they’re leaving the area from how long you’re taking.”

He looks a little frustrated, and then motions to your hook, “Not like that could catch anything, anyway.”

“Just because it looks nice, doesn’t mean it doesn’t work.” you argue, looking up when you hear someone coming, “Ah look, we have a judge!”

Katniss doesn’t look too thrilled at her new title.

“Tell us, who’s looking better?” you motion to what you have.

“I’m not done yet–” FInnick tries to protest.

“You can’t fix the unfixable.”

Finnick glares at you, “Honestly, fuck you.”

Katniss cracks a smile, coming closer as she looks over what you guys have made. She seems hesitant, uncomfortable. She’s obviously trying to make allies, but she doesn’t want to. You guys need to make a lasting impression on her. Especially since she’s seen you fuck around with a rope swing and argue over fish hooks so far.

“(Y/n)’s is better.” she decides.

“Smart girl!” you flip off Finnick for a moment, and then you turn to Katniss, “Alright, protege, I could teach you a few things.”

“Like you know anything.” Finnick jokes.

“We come from the exact same district,” you shake your head at him.

Katniss accepts your offer. As soon as she does, the bickering between you and Finnick calms down a lot since you’re in teaching mode. Every now and then Finnick will chime in with some good advice on how to get a fish to bite quicker, or make a hook that’s flimsy but it works.

Eventually, she offers to teach you specifically, how to shoot a bow and arrow. You turn it down, telling her you have better ways to deal with long-range enemies, but you and Finnick definitely follow her over to see what she can do. Sure, you saw her in the arena last year, but these holograms are something else.

She’s quick on her feet. She turns quickly, her eyes are always searching around. She doesn’t get surprised easily, and she almost dances around.

“She doesn’t want to make too much noise,” you point out to Finnick, pressing your finger against the glass, “Look at how she moves her feet.”

“Definitely a hunter, I’ll give her that.” Finnick nods, “I wonder what else she knows.”

By the time she’s done shooting, she’s gathered a whole crowd. The careers, Wiress and Beetee, Johanna, Peeta, Cecelia and Woof and a few of the others. Wiress erupts into clapping when Katniss is finished, and you can’t help but to smile.

“This is going to work perfectly.”

[phrenicnervous]

POST OP DIARY DAY 3

SUMMARY OF 5-19

At this point, negativity is just part of how I’m managing my expectations. I knew it would be hard to sleep. I knew it would be worse today. I managed to sleep better last night than previously. Thankfully, I woke up every four hours instead of every two. There was still a bag of ice left in the freezer for me to fill my ice pack with so I could compress my neck at 4 in the god damned morning. No one dared to mess with my popsicles overnight after I left a note that pathetically begged for mercy from potential thieves. Trying to stay hydrated has been a struggle as the pain in my throat grows medieval with the swelling of my uvula. The cauterized soft tissue in the back of my mouth reminds me of the taste of a seared fish I ate in japan, but if it sucked and tasted like shit.

I had to dissolve one of my nausea tablets on my tongue today. They do help, but they also taste like shit. So my mouth is this graveyard of things that taste like shit, including itself, and I can’t open my jaw wide enough, and cannot move my big fat stupid tongue enough to floss.

I have a throbbing pain that now extends into my head and down my sternocleidomastoid into my chest. Sometimes it feels like my lymph nodes are swollen because I’m so used to the swelling from my tonsils pressing on them when I’ve been sick, but they’re not there anymore. Water is spilling out of my mouth because I can’t hold in in. When the water slips down my trachea it’s a new nightmare as my reflexes try to cough it out, but I’ve been advised not to cough or blow my nose since it’ll likely rupture the tissue and cause bleeding. My ears and molars have a pressing, deep pain that causes ringing occasionally. 

To be continued: why do my lats hurt? Will add more to this post later today.

UPDATE

I have trouble walking, standing, and my ears are worse. Everything is too loud, and my body aches. I ate two miso soups again and two jellos. It’s so much harder to swallow today than it was yesterday. Everything feels wrong and off. I tried to sit in the bath, but the lukewarm water was too hot for my skin. It feels like it’s burning and it’s been 15 minutes since I got out. I’m trying to drink the nutritional drinks, but fluid drips out of my mouth 20% of the time. My mom doesn’t seem to have an understanding about what i can and cannot eat so now I have to sit in the same hotel room as bread pudding and potatoes au gratin for hours until she throws them away.

[theherondaels]

Oh Baby (A Soy Luna Pregnancy Series)

Hi! Yes, I still live. And I finally managed to finish this hell chapter!!!!! If I have to write "nausea" one more time...

Have fun reading!

3. Morning sickness

Gastina

"Oh, not again," Nina whimpered as she quickly got out of bed, trying to be as quiet as possible, as Gastón had to get up early tomorrow. Or today. Nina had started to go to bed earlier than usual because her nausea attacks often happened in the early morning and she still wanted to get her normal amount of sleep, as it could happen that she spent two hours (luckily never in one setting) kneeling in front of the toilet. She quickly dashed through the floor that connected their bedroom with the bathroom, noticing that it still was dark outside. She didn't make it to the toilet, throwing up in the sink. Once it was over she opened the water tab, the water washing the vomit remains away. Nina sighed and then started to brush her teeth, studying herself in the mirror. Her mirror self certainly looked like she felt. A few more eye bags than she liked and her hair bun was really messy. A soft knock from the door interrupted her thought process. "Hey," Gastón greeted her, still rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, "You okay?" Nina nodded meekly, putting the toothbrush away. She then tried to fix her bun, only making it worse. "Yeah, it's already over." Still, her throat burned terribly and she just felt really worn out, but she didn't want Gastón to worry. "You should go back to sleep," Nina muttered. She blinked a few times, trying to blend out the dizziness. He came up to her, hands finding their way to her waist. "We're in this together, remember? You don't get sleep, so I don't too," he spoke tenderly, placing a kiss on her forehead. "I think I get a break for one or two hours," she told him while leaning closer to him. Gastón's eyes were full of concern. "Should I get the green plastic bowl again? You wouldn't have to run every time then," he explained. Nina just shrugged. One time she had forgotten that it stood there, almost falling over it while making her way to the bathroom. Another time she had missed the bowl completely, resulting in a cleaning session at 3am. 

"No, you don't have to," Nina told him. "At least we know the baby is doing fine," she mumbled against his neck, remembering all the morning sickness passages from the parenting books she and Gastón had bought. This was really the only thought that got her through this. "And you can't really blame the baby for being a night owl," Gastón chuckled, a small smile appearing on his lips. Nina returned the smile, feeling a bit better. "Yes, but the parents need sleep," she said, not being able to suppress a yawn. "Alright then, let's go back to bed," he said and took her hand.

Simbar

Ámbar's excitement about being pregnant faded with the arrival of morning sickness. Ámbar Smith just didn't get sick! During all her school and college years she had always been the one with the lowest - if any - absent days. And this was already the third day she stayed home instead of going to work. What idiot had called it morning sickness anyway? All the time sickness was way more appropriate in her case. It didn't matter if it was morning, midday, evening or even nighttime, the nausea came and left as it pleased. She was currently seated on the couch, eyes closed, the last bathroom break not being too long ago, petting Toppy. The Maltese dog truly had a calming effect on her. Ámbar opened her eyes when she heard Simón sitting down on the creme coloured couch stool across from her. He held a pack of crackers in his hands. She sighed, already knowing his plan. "C'mon, Ámbar," Simón pleaded. The blonde stopped petting Toppy and glared at the crackers Simón held out in her direction. "It will come right up again anyways," she tried to wriggle herself out of this situation. "Please, if not for me, eat it for the baby. You can't just eat nothing, that's not healthy. For both of you," he tried again, hoping he would finally get her to eat something. Ámbar couldn't resist Simón's damn brown puppy eyes any longer and took two crackers from him. He let out a sigh of relief. Still, Ámbar ate the crackers with that facial expression her husband loved to call the "natural look of displeasure". She crossed her arms after she was done, "Happy?" Simón flashed her a small smile. "Now that wasn't so bad, was it?" he asked. Yes, it had been! The crackers had been completely flavorless and Ámbar could feel the unpleasant feeling in her stomach again. Just when she was about to exactly tell him that, the grumbling intensified and Ámbar quickly put Toppy off her lap, more or less throwing her into Simón's arms, running to the bathroom. All she did think about while emptying her stomach was why they couldn't have just gotten a second dog. She heard the bathroom door being opened. "What did I tell you?" Ámbar asked sourly, footsteps coming closer. "I'm sure it will get better soon. And everything will be worth it in the end," Simón reminded her, hands rubbing soothing circles on her back. It should have warmed her heart that he tried to take care of her, but Ámbar was only annoyed by it. Just let her suffer in peace! And maybe, just maybe, she still didn't fully like Simón seeing her like this. The blonde wiped her mouth and turned her head, glaring at her husband. "Or it completely sucks and you hate having to go through it, despite the reason why," Simón amended himself quickly, removing his hands. "That's more like it," Ámbar muttered, getting up to brush her teeth.

Jico

When Jim woke up she was still sprawled out on the big king-size bed she and Nico owned. While she still felt horrible, her nap had at least taken the headache away. Jim wriggled her body around, trying to make herself more comfortable, smiling into the pillow at the absent throbbing in her head. The smile quickly turned dull as she felt a new wave of nausea rush through her body. Worry loomed over her face now. She still didn't feel well enough to get up. The nausea got worse and Jim quickly closed her eyes, hoping it would prevent another bathroom break. Surprisingly, it somehow did. Jim breathed a sigh of relief and turned to her left again, eyes still closed. She was in weird state of being between awake and sleeping when the light was suddenly switched on. Jim blinked a few times, adjusting to the now bright room. "Hey, how do you feel?" Nico whispered, setting down on the end of the bed. "Terrible," she groaned, feeling dizzy. The blond frowned when he saw now empty water glass on her nightstand. She had felt too dizzy to actually stand up and refill it. "Let's get you some water. It's important to stay hydrated," he murmured. Jim only nodded, the dizziness so bad that she had to close her eyes again. She heard Nico collecting the old glass and leaving the room. A few minutes later he was back with a new glass of water. Jim sat up slowly, still scared that any sudden moment would worse her situation. Nico handed her the water. "Thanks," she muttered, only took two small sips of the water, as she really didn't like still water. It just tasted dead. She suppressed making a face. Sadly, sparkling water still messed with her stomach too much. Nico had retuned to his earlier sitting spot. "At least we know everything is okay. I was kind of worried that would never show up," Nico admitted. Jim snorted, putting the water glass on the nightstand next to her. At first she had worried too, as her friends had started a few weeks earlier with morning sickness than her, but now it was here all she wanted was the morning sickness to disappear as soon as possible. When the nausea had started, the redhead had thought nothing of it. Only after the throwing up had shown up, she realized that this was indeed the long awaited morning sickness. "I'll check on you later, okay?" Sighing, Jim nodded in agreement. Nico send her sheepish smile before getting up and switching the light off, the room going dark again. Jim closed her eyes and turned on to her right, hoping sleep would find her again soon.

Yamiro

"Please make it stop," Yam mumbled against the cool porcelain. She felt like a truck had hit her. Sure, she had heard from her friends that morning sickness wasn't exactly a walk in the park, but until today it really hadn't been that awful. While the obligatory sprint to bathroom after waking up wasn't the most pleasant thing in the world Yam had always managed. But it had never lasted this long. She had been at it for an hour now and there were no signs of it stopping any time soon. Yam could practically see Matteo telling her that she deserved it, after committing such a serious crime as eating cold pizza. Her and Ramiro had ordered pizza yesterday and she had thought that it would a good idea to have the remaining piece for breakfast. The baby didn't think so. Yam swore that she would't eat cold pizza during her remaining pregnancy again. She sat down on the floor, her legs hurting from all the kneeling. "You're still in there?" Ramiro peered into the bathroom. Yam made a face. "Yes, still here," she replied bitterly, waving her hand dismissively, as he walked over to her. "I told you to not eat the pizza," he said, sitting down next to her. "I had a craving, ok?" she tried to justify herself. "You're sure everything is alright? It never was that bad," Ramiro worried, a hand running nervously through his curly hair. "Yeah. The pizza is just messing with me." She shut her eyes as her stomach grumbled again. "How do some women deal with this for all nine months?" Her eyes widened, head turning to her husband. "If I have morning sickness for the entirety of this pregnancy, this will be our only child," Yam warned. Ramiro only chuckled. "If you think this is bad, wait till you're in labor," he remarked. Yam wanted to answer, but, luckily for Ramiro, another wave of nausea hit her. "This baby better be cute," Yam groaned, after she had emptied her stomach once again, Ramiro awkwardly patting her back. "Of course, it will be cute. It's half me!" She craned her head in his direction. Upon seeing Yam's angry look he quickly added an "And you, obviously." Good save, Yam thought. Still, she wanted to be alone. "Out. Now." Her words had come out a little harsher than she had intended. Ramiro held up his hands in defense. "Okay, okay, I'm leaving!" he told her while getting up quickly, the door shutting not soon after.  All Yam did was roll her eyes, praying she could get out of this place shortly too.

Jazcade

Seated on the couch next to her husband, Jazmín stared at the popcorn in front of her, wondering if the food was responsible for her sudden nausea. She hadn't eaten anything else out of the order today. Maybe the chicken she had for lunch had been bad? Normally she loved evenings like these, as they were pretty seldom with their working schedules, but today both had the weekend off. However, she could barely follow on the movie. They were only 15 minutes in and she already had lost the thread. She tired to concentrate on the movie again, but after a couple of minutes she gave up and tuned out the words being spoken. She leaned closer to Arcade. "Are you scared? This isn't a horror movie," he laughed amused. He stopped when he noticed her how pale Jazmín's face was. "You don't look fine." His expression was worried now. "I don't feel fine," the redhead told him, pursing her lips. Her stomach grumbled and, from one second to the next, she was on her feet, hurrying out of the living room. Jazmín reached the bathroom just in time. She bent over the toilet, losing what little she had eaten earlier. Once she was sure that it was over she flushed the toilet, got up and started to rinse her mouth out. While doing that, she noticed with relief that  her clothes were still in the condition they were before. She spotted Arcade in the mirror, turning around. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry you had to see that. I must look terrible," she realized to her utter horror. All Arcade did was chuckle. "It's fine. I'm still living. And I'm sure crouching over the toilet isn't a good look for anyone." Jazmín frowned a little his comment. "Well, we might as well start the movie over," Arcade changed the topic, "I forgot to pause it." Upon seeing his wife's less than enthusiastic face he suggested to finish the movie another time. "Another time sounds great," Jazmín agreed. "God, I think I'm dying," she complained as the nausea returned. "I think that's morning sickness," Arcade pointed out, walking over to her. "It may be night but..." he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders. That would actually make a lot of sense. How hadn't she thought of that? "Yeah, the name is confusing," Jazmín assured him. She knew from Ámbar that morning sickness didn't care about the time of the day. It especially liked to appear at the most inconvenient times. Just like now. "I'll switch the TV off then and you..."  he looked at her questioningly. "I'll stay here," she sighed, the nausea still present. If this was really what she thought it was, she would spend a lot of time in here.

Pedrelfi

Delfi checked her outfit in the mirror. Her mother had invited her and Pedro to a spontaneous family get-together. Since her grandmother and aunts loved to criticize everything, she wanted at least her outfit to be spared. Pleased with how she looked, Delfi turned away from the mirror, walking over the wardrobe she and Pedro shared, wanting to pick a bag that matched her outfit. She stopped midway, the all too well-known feeling of nausea crashing down on her. Delfi waited for it to go away, but that didn't happen. "Really, now?" she huffed. That kid already had excellent timing, Delfi's thought was full of sarcasm. She walked of to the bed with a grim face and sat down on the edge. Her stomach made those dreadful noises and she left herself fall on the bed, her right arm covering her eyes. She laid like this for a while. "Delfi, are you ready?" she heard Pedro's voice echoing through the house. She lifted her arm and laid it down next to her. By the time she had opened her eyes, he stood in the doorframe. "What are you doing?" he wanted to know, expression amused, but still a little confused. "Nausea," was the only thing Delfi said. "Do you think it'll pass soon?" Pedro asked. Delfi sat up, crossing her arms. "I don't know. It's never really consistent." Sometimes it would only happen once or twice, other days she and the bathroom were inseparable. "Then, it would be better to call and say we can't come." Delfi glared at him. "And what would your excuse be?" Her husband shrugged. "I'd tell them you have the flu or something." Arms still crossed, Delfi raised an eyebrow. "At this time of the year? Pedro, my parents aren't stupid." Pedro sighed. "It would be certainly better leaving them guessing than you throwing up in front of them," he tried to explain. "Okay, call them," Delfi finally decided. Pedro nodded, leaving the room. "And think of something believable!" the brunette yelled after him. "You really don't want to go there, huh?" Delfi thought aloud, as her stomach grumbled again, trying to distract herself from the nausea. "That's okay. Really. I don't like the majority of them anyway," she kept on saying, trying to see something good in this situation. Secretly, she was glad that she didn't have to go. They didn't want to tell their families just yet and having to hear her two cousins talk about their pregnancies would have driven her up the wall. Footsteps interrupted her thoughts. "So what do I have?" she asked Pedro, their stories had to match after all if they were asked during the next meeting. "I've told them I tried to cook again..." Delfi chuckled lightly at her husband's words. "They'll definitely believe that. What did they say?" she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her. "Well, they're very sorry that we can't come and hope you feel better soon," Pedro answered her question. Delfi sighed. She hoped that too.

Lutteo

Luna was woken up by her churning stomach. She desperately tried to free herself from Matteo's tight grip. She managed to roll over just in time, still wrapped in the bed cover like a butterfly in its cocoon, the dinner from last night splattering all over the light parquet floor. Luna still tried to even her breathing when she felt Matteo's hand on her duvet-clad shoulder. "Luna, are you okay?" he asked, the worry in his voice unmissable. She turned to him again. "I'm so sorry," Luna whispered, trying her best to keep the tears at bay. "Hey, no, everything is fine," Matteo assured her, "You just started with morning sickness." Wait, was he smiling? "Matteo, why do you sound so happy?" Luna asked confused. She felt terrible, that wasn't a reason to get all giddy. In fact, Luna felt like she could repeat her earlier action any second so she quickly freed herself from the duvet, kicking it at the end of the bed. Matteo eyed her skeptically before he spoke again. "It's a sign that the baby develops like it should," he pointed out, making Luna smile. Ever since they had found out that a little one was on the way her husband had become an expert towards all things baby. Luna thought it was very sweet. Suddenly, she was leaning over the edge of the bed once again, letting it all out. Matteo's hand had found her back again. "I'm so sorry you have to go through that," he mumbled. "It's fine," Luna stammered, rolling over to her right. "How about I clean up while you brush your teeth?" he asked with an apologetic smile. Normally, she would have argued that she could do that herself, but Luna felt so weak and tired, so she simply nodded.  "You can do that, but I need another five minutes," she said. Matteo sighed. "Thank God, I cancelled that skating event." Luna sat up straight. "You did what?" she asked a little angry. "You're not putting on skates," Matteo said in that firm tone of his and she knew that this was final. "I should vomit on your t-shirt for that," Luna grumbled. He winked at her. "If you want me shirtless you can just ask." She crossed her arms. "Oh no, this is what got me in this situation in the first place," she stated, earning a chuckle from Matteo. "I'll clean then," he informed her. Luna quickly got out of bed, washed out her mouth in the bathroom and returned to their bed (from Matteo's side though). She dragged the bed cover towards her, closing her eyes. After a while Matteo joined her again. "Thanks for cleaning up my mess," Luna said, opening her eyes slowly while her cheeks turned bit pink. "Hey, it's the least I can do," he mumbled, propping himself up on his left elbow. Luna moved closer too him. "I'm not mad," she wanted Matteo to know, "I mean, you're right. The baby is draining all my energy." And she didn't want to put their baby at risk in case she fell. Now Luna was a very good skater, but everything could happen. She finally understood Matteo's reasons of cancelling the event. "She's going to be a little whirlwind then," Matteo said, lips forming into a smile. "She?" Luna grinned. The Italian's smile faltered upon realizing his mistake. "I said what I said." The look he gave her was defiant. "We'll see about that," Luna laughed.

[horrorgods]

thanks to @severe-queer​ for tagging me!!

i tag @vitariesocks​ @threatlevelmidmorning​ @alywayieroxoxo​ @alohamoraz​ @confusedwayward​ @-run-to-you-​ @sun-moon-andthestars​ @yenidenmi​ @phantittytastic​ @sweet-herondale​ and any other followers of mine that’d like to do it!!

my answers are below (it’s very long so);

last:

1. drink - water 

2. phone call - probably one of my parents

3. text message - "that made lucy mad at me smh” (lucy is my dog lmaooo)

4. song you listened to - “un homme debout” by claudio capéo

5. time you cried - a week or two i think?? i honestly don’t remember

6. dated someone twice - never

7. kissed someone and regretted it - uhh the middle of this summer sort of. i don’t entirely regret it, but i feel like it made things kinda awkward between us for a little bit and we used to be pretty close so... that wasn’t good.

8. been cheated on - never

9. lost someone special - if this means lost like died, about five years ago. if it means lost in any way, this summer.

10. been depressed - depressed as in like Depression, july

11. gotten drunk and thrown up - never

favourite colours:

12. royal blue

13. maroon

14. grey

in the last year have you:

15. made new friends - yesss!!

16. fallen out of love - kinda

17. laughed until you cried - yESS LIKE A WEEK AGO

18. found out someone was talking about you - unfortunately lol

19. met someone who changed you - not reallyyy

20. found out who your friends are - kinda sorta

21. kissed someone on your facebook list - don’t have facebook so

general:

22. how many of your fb friends do you know in real life - again, don’t have facebook lmaoo

23. any pets - two miniature dachshunds named charlie and lucy!!

24. do you want to change your name - i mean yeah i did so

25. what did you do for your last birthday - laser tag and dinner with friends!!

26. what time did you wake up - nine because i had to do something at school even though it’s saturday,,,, ick

27. what were you doing at midnight last night - sleeping, surprisingly enough. i was soo exhausted yesterday. i fell asleep at like 11, which is fuckin legendary.

28. something you can’t wait for - finishing all of the history hw i have to do today ew

29. when was the last time you saw your mum - ew idk recently

30. what are you listening to right now - my dogs barking at literally nothing,,,, typical XD

31. have you ever talked to a person named tom - yeah

32. something that is getting on your nerves - my history teacher wasn’t in class to teach us the last part of our unit on friday and we still have a test in two days?? and she apparently she’s not gonna delay it?? i’m????

33. most visited website - you’re looking at it

34. hair colour - brownnn

35. long or short hair - long

36. do you have a crush on someone - kinda sorta maybe

37. what do you like about yourself - i’m passionate and loyal and try to help as many people as i can!! which is cool!!

38. piercings - nonee

39. blood type - good question,,, beats me

40. nickname - from my name, so far i’ve gotten “chandy candy” and “cha cha slide” and i don’t think anyone is gonna beat those so. those. other unrelated nicknames though (all from other places on the internet whoops) are dashy, dox, and nova :).

41. relationship status - rlly rlly single

42. zodiac - leo

43. pronouns - they/them

44. favourite tv show - the middle

45. tattoos - none but definitely gonna get some

46. right or left handed - right!!

47. surgery - got my adenoids removed when i was like 7 or somethin

48. broken a bone - fractured my elbow which is like?? p much a break but 

49. sport - LMAO DOING YOGA RN TO GET ONE SCHOOL PE CREDIT AND THEN DO BACKSTAGE FOR SCHOOL MUSICAL TO GET THE OTHER OOOO BOY NO SPORTS HERE!! i played competitive soccer for a v v long time but uh,,, no longer and never again

50. vacation- not sure what this is asking so. last vacation was to the beach, but favorite vacation was probably either to amsterdam or munich. or universal because harry potter world is The Best.

51. pair of trainers - favorites are hightop converse and vans :)

more general:

52. eating - last thing i ate was pizza

53. drinking - last thing i drank was water lmaoo!! hydration!!

54. im about to - do more homework ew ew eww

55. waiting for - someone to send somethin on discord so i have an excuse to do something besides homework rip me

56. want - to ask my crush to hoco :(( but like we all know it’s not gonna happen ahaha 

57. get married - pls pls pls yes

58. career - honestly i have no idea?? i think i’ll probably end up getting involved in some kinda startup thing because i gotta be mentally-engaged 24/7 or i check the fuck out and that kinda scene seems like it’d be good for me in that sense.... but idk. i wish i could do something with writing but,,, unlikely. we’ll see i guess!! ahaha.

59. hugs or kisses - um kisses

60. lips or eyes - i mean bothhh but i notice eyes first so,, probably eyes if i had to pick

61. shorter or taller - assuming this means for a gf,, taller probably?? both are good though so like idc.

62. older or younger - as of right now i’d only be comfortable dating someone within a year either way of my age... so either but as long as it’s v v little difference.

63. nice arms or nice stomach - aRMS 

64. hook up or relationship - relationship pls aah

65. troublemaker or hesitant - tbh depends what it is but definitely come off as hesitant 

66. kissed a stranger - nah

67. drank hard liquor - noo

68. lost glasses or contact lenses - surprisingly no

69. turned someone down - yeahh

70 - sex on the first date - no

71 - broken someones heart - not that i know of 

72. had your heart broken - i mean sorta but mostly indirect so like?? whatever  

73. been arrested - nooooo

74. cried when someone died - yep

75. fallen for a friend - ahaha yeah welcome to my life

do you believe in:

76. yourself - hell yeah!!

77. miracles - absolutely 

78. love at first sight - nah

79. santa claus - i mean no

80. kiss on the first date - no

81. angels - kinda sorta??

other:

82. current best friend’s name - abby!!

83. eye colour - green :D

84. favourite movie - harry potter and the chamber of secrets, revenge of the sith, the sixth sense, get out, the lion king, literally anything i love movies it’s 

[oakpodcast]

Transmission 6 Transcript

Transmission 6 is live on Patreon. It will go live to the general public Saturday.

This is the season 1 finale. Season 2 will return later this month.

HOLLY: If you're a new listener, make sure to start at the very beginning.

MUSIC: “SOLITUDE” BY MUCIOJAD

HOLLY: Before I get started, I want to thank Jemma, Melissa, Liam, and a bunch of other new listeners for supporting me on Patreon.

HOLLY: And to everyone funding my coffee habit dollar by dollar, THANK YOU. It's a serious morale booster to know that someone is out there listening, and not only that, but cares enough to buy me a cup of coffee. So seriously, thank you so much.

HOLLY: All right, so, it's about 9 a.m., July 23rd. I'm sitting outside the Walmart with a jug of chocolate milk I got on sale around 6 a.m. when I couldn't sleep.

HOLLY: Anyway, I figured I'd reply to your email and then hopefully finish this stupid assignment, pending the armored truck getting here when I'm expecting it to.

HOLLY: And if my stupid hands cooperate. I know I'm clumsy, especially lately, but normally I'm at least good with my hands, right? No dirty jokes about that. Let's keep this PG-rated, thank you very fucking much.

HOLLY: But honestly, this is getting so annoying! I took the Chromebook apart last night and I swear I dropped the fucking screwdriver every five minutes. (Sighs) I know the fact that I haven't had a good night's sleep in a few months doesn't help anything. Whatever.

HOLLY: (Tense) Uh, so, what's going on with your email address? Why does it keep bouncing when I try to email you? Hopefully that means you've finished up and you're on your way home? Never hurts to be optimistic, I guess…

HOLLY: I mean, I know you're busy, but there are some things I'd rather talk about privately, so... yeah. Send me your new email address when you get a chance, thanks.

SOUND: NOISY PICKUP TRUCK DRIVING PAST

HOLLY: Okay, I'm going to read part of your email and then respond to it. (Deep breath) Here goes.

HOLLY AS OAK: Hey Holly, how are you feeling today?

HOLLY: I'm fine. Like I said, tired... aside from not being able to sleep, I'm okay. Well, I did pass out in the laundromat yesterday, but there's probably no reason to worry. I'm just not used to the heat affecting me like this.

HOLLY AS OAK: (Reading) I know this random, but did you turn Cosette off between when I left and when you left?

HOLLY: (Sighs) The answer to that is no. No, Cosette is probably still Roomba-ing around the apartment every day, dragging her… exploded dust tank behind her. Do you remember if she stops if the tank gets full? (More quietly and uncertainly) Roombas can't... catch on fire... right? Nnnnnnnnn.

HOLLY: Well, I texted Cami and asked her to try to shut off Cosette if she happens to go by the apartment, so... anyway...

HOLLY AS OAK: (Reading monotonously) Mission is good. Can't say much obviously, but I should be back next week.

HOLLY: Great, so that gives me at least a few days to fix any damage Cosette did before you get home.

HOLLY AS OAK: Man, Holly, I had the craziest dream last night slash this morning. There was this werewolf, and first it ate Willard, and I was like "Fuck yeah!!!" (Three exclamation marks) but then it ate you, and then it ate me, and then I looked down and I was holding a cage with Frogger—remember the rabbit I accidentally killed when I was 10?—and I was like "OH SHIT" (in all caps) and started running, but I was dead, right?

HOLLY AS OAK: (Reading monotonously) So then I remembered my legs were eaten, and that's when I dropped Frogger's cage down a storm drain. And I don't know how the entire fucking cage even fit, but it did, and it went into the storm drain and I was like "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" (With, mm, eight... nine?! O's and three exclamation marks.) But anyway yeah, then the werewolf was down there eating Frogger. I don't know what that means but I'm really fucking stressed every time I wake up from it.

HOLLY: Yeah, I don't know what that means either, sorry Oak.

HOLLY AS OAK: (Reading) I'm also having a recurring nightmare about me and you playing street hockey with the Goldsteins and their neighbors. Everyone is playing hockey really gently, and you pass the puck to me, and I'm like "YEAH" (all caps) and hit a slapshot right into Emma Rosen's goaltender mask. Except for some reason we were using an egg for a puck, so, yeah, kind of a gross and disturbing dream.

HOLLY: (Laughs) Uh, yeah, what the fuck? Are you eating pizza before bed again? You know that gives you weird dreams!

HOLLY AS OAK: Anyway, it's probably just anxiety or whatever. I sent you some vitamins and supplements. Did you get them?

HOLLY: Yes, thanks. I've been taking them every day, so stop stressing about that. I'm fine. I could be way more malnourished and sleep-deprived than I am.

HOLLY AS OAK: Are you getting enough sleep and staying hydrated?

HOLLY: Like I said, I can't sleep, but I think it's just because the shelter beds are really uncomfortable. I take naps sometimes in the park, like, under a shady tree with a cheap blanket and an inflatable bath pillow I carry around. No one bothers me during the day because I just prop a library book near me, so it looks like I just fell asleep reading.

HOLLY: As for staying hydrated... I mean, I'm trying. The water here still makes me gag, but I sneak lemon packets and get free ice water whenever I can. Like I said, I did pass out in the laundromat yesterday, but I'm just not used to being quite this overheated all the time. I'm fine now. I drank some water, and I'll try to go at night next time.

HOLLY AS OAK: So you're going with Ivy for sure? The finalists are all pretty good, so I don't think there's a right choice. You should go with your gut. I trust your judgment on this.

HOLLY: Well, thank you, and yes, I'm pretty sure I'm going with Ivy and the other one we discussed? I haven't decided for sure yet, but I have a good feeling about those two.

HOLLY AS OAK: Has Leia Janeway forgiven you yet? Don't feel bad. It could happen to anyone. You're not exactly graceful even under the best of circumstances.

HOLLY: (Sighs) I think she's forgiven me, it's just that every time she starts to trust me again I step on some new part of her body and the cycle starts all over. She acts like she understands and doesn't hold it against me, but she also acts like "WHY GOD WHY," which apparently are not mutually exclusive feelings. Hopefully she'll forgive me.

HOLLY AS OAK: I know I say this every time, but please make sure you're ready to run at a moment's notice. I promise I'm doing my best to make sure nothing happens, but it scares the ever-living shit out of me that I'm over here and you're in a godforsaken place like Alabama and no one but the U.S. government is watching out for you. Nothing is going to happen, but if anything does happen—

HOLLY: (Annoyed) Yeah, I know, I know, I need to go dark if anything happens to you. I don't understand why you won't tell me why, though! Or what could possibly be going on.

HOLLY AS OAK: I'm fucking over this assignment already and can't wait to inhale some Thai food with you the second I get back. Can you eat Thai food right now, or will you spontaneously combust? Whatever, we'll celebrate with something yummy. Maybe Mexican, since they don't have that over here.

HOLLY: I don't know, I'm, I’m pretty sure I can eat Thai food. And I know I can eat Mexican. (Hungrily) Both of those sound great, actually. (A very soft moan, as if she's imagining the food.) All right, that's the new plan: Thai or Mexican food next week, as soon as you get home. Whatever we don't eat for lunch we'll eat for dinner and... hm, yeah. I like this plan.

HOLLY AS OAK: Holy fuck, did you see this?

HOLLY: And, uh, I clicked on it, and it's a link to the BBC article about Jodie Whittaker as the new Doctor. Yeah, I saw, and... what a time to be alive! I just hope they don't change anything about River Song being her wife.

HOLLY AS OAK: I'm totally caught up on Greater Boston and Jim Robbie now. You were right—they're totally my jam. Got any other recommendations?

HOLLY: Yeah, I do. So the first one I'd recommend is a British comedy called Wooden Overcoats. It's about these siblings who work in a funeral home in the English Channel, I think, and… and anyway, this really hot guy moves in across the street and starts stealing all of their business. And the narrator is a mouse. So it's this weird mix of morbid humor and uplifting shit that, I don't know, it completely reminds me of you.

HOLLY: Another one I think you'd like is called EOS 10. It's kind of like Scrubs meets Futurama, so obviously it's right up your alley. Wooden Overcoats and EOS 10 are both pretty short, but hopefully since you're supposed to get back next week—

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATING

HOLLY: Huh, speak of the devil. I am getting a text from you right now. 

HOLLY: "I'm sorry"? Oh. Goddammit, what did you do?

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATING

HOLLY: "Run and hide"— Why? Why??? What did you do?!

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATING

HOLLY: I can't run! Why the fuck would you think I can run right now?

SOUND: PHONE VIBRATING REPEATEDLY

SOUND: HELICOPTER IN DISTANCE

HOLLY: Okay, fine! Not that you can hear me, but I'm going, I'm going right now.

SOUND: HOLLY STRUGGLING TO HER FEET

SOUND: MILITARY HELICOPTER APPROACHING

SOUND: HOLLY RUNNING ON PAVEMENT

HOLLY: (Running with difficulty, muttering under her breath) Goddammit, Mica!

SOUND: INT WALMART NOISES

SOUND: HOLLY RUNNING ON TILE

HOLLY: (Panting) Excuse me, where (gasps) where are the fireworks?! ... Thank you!

SOUND: HOLLY RUNNING

HOLLY: (To Oak) Anyway, (panting) fuck you, (pant) fuck General Willard, (pant) fuck everyone who took his side, and (pant) fuck society, fuck Walmart for being so big, and f–fuck everything! I'm fucking sick to death of this goddamn fucking shit! 

SOUND: A LIGHTER FLICKING

HOLLY: Okay, signing off! (softer) Fuck...

SOUND: FIREWORKS EXPLODING

MUSIC: OUTRO (“SOLITUDE” BY MUCIOJAD)

[beefstew252]

i was tagged by @davidbowie69​ to do this time- consuming tageroony

(answer 92 questions and tag 20 ppl)

the last

1. drink: water cuz im basic

2. phone call: mi amiga ella

3. text message: “ehehhehehehehehhe with like a million laughy face emojis cuz im too awkward to live”

4. song you listened to: telephone line by ELO

5. time you cried: probs last night when i cried myself to sleep or yesterday when i watched life and was too scared so i leaked from my seeing crevices

have you

6. dated someone twice: never even been on a date whoops im a loooser

7. kissed someone and regretted it: lhehehehehe my mommy

8. been cheated on: friend wise- yes but not like in relationships lol im not kewl

9. lost someone special: mhmhmhmhm i move everyday and am unlovable soo not a good combo

10. been depressed: lol yup yup yup everyday but i cover it with smiley face stickers and sprinkles

11. gotten drunk and thrown up: mayyybbeeee when i accidently drank a bunk of mikes hard lemonade hehehhhhehehe

list 3 favorite colors

12. yellow

13. mintish green

14. sky blue

in the last year you have…

15. made new friends: @davidbowie69​ i love my mommm 

16. fallen out of love: nope im always in love with everyone ever

17. laughed until you cried: EVERYDAY im a giggly person tbh

18. found out someone was talking about you: not really but i constantly feel like my friends talk about how horrible i am sooooo same difference 

19. met someone who changed you: everyone i meet tbh <3333333

20. found out who your friends are: i think maybe if they actually love me as much as i love themmmmm <333

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: what even is face book tbh

generale

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: girl i dont understand this booking faceeeee

23. do you have any pets: my dear pet rock mildred and her associate mr pebbleton (but i wanna doggo so badddd)

24. do you want to change your name: nah m8 sofia is fineeee af i think

25. what did you do for your last birthday: 4 days agooo hmmm i slept in and had avocado toast like a true millennial and went to the grocery store with my mom lol and then went to my fav place in the world an art store then had cake and watched life which was horrifying twas pretty fun

26. what time did you wake up: 10ish but usually like afternoonish whoops

27. what were you doing last night at midnight: i was watching the OA which was actually amazin tbh

28. name something you can’t wait for: WINNING THE PRESIDENCY WITH MY VICE PRES KANYE IN 2020 HONESTLYYYY

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: just now when she told me to do the laundry

30. what is one thing you wish you could change in your life: i wish i had stayed in one place and had real, true friendships

31. what are you listening to right now: build me up buttercup- the foundations

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: no not really???

33. something that is getting on your nerves: constantly thinkin im not good enough and some “people” i know heh

34. most visited website: tumblr, netflix and gmail tbh

lost questions. i just put in random info about me

wow op was a little bitch--- keepin this in thx ellie

35. moles: yes but theyre outside and probably have rabies and are blind af and no longer are in my backyard---- jkjk yea i do tho

36. marks: everywhere on my ugly af self

37. childhood dream: i wanted to be a squirrel when i grew up sooo

38. hair color: dark brown

39. long or short hair: short shoulder lengthish??

40. do you have a crush on someone: yeah everyone i meet ever 

41. what do you like about yourself: my curly af hair and strangely large energy reserves (gracias mitochondria)

42. piercings: ear piercins

43. blood type: idk man but i hope its the kind from that episode of doctor who with the aliens and they controlled u with blood or somethin and david tennant lost an arm it was wild

44. nickname: sofie, sofie dofie, didi, olaf, mr. f@#*ing compassion, slink, softpants once again, sof fresh, coneybear? leaf?, ronnie, macaronnie, charlie kelly tbh

45. relationship status: hahahahahahahahahahaha

46. zodiac: cancer, (yes i know im a crabb dont make funna me)

47. pronouns: she/her also ultimate supreme ruler of 7M tbh

48. favorite tv show: stranger things, its always sunny in philadelphia, parks and rec, the office, tbh the new show i just binged yesterday called the OA, friends, etcetcetc

49. tattoos: nope i have a very low pain tolerance

50. right or left hand: right im bland af

51. surgery: yea my poor eye lol ive had like 3 on that one alone whwhwhw

52. hair dyed different color: no id look like a uglier potato

53. sport: competitive cloud watching

54. *GASP* there is no spoon…there is no question 54…………………….  ………………………..hey remember those wayside school books because i sure do------ also keepin this im unoriginal and still dont understand tags lol

55. vacation: the moon

56. pair of trainers: white superstar adidas or grossly dirty “white” converse cuz im basic once again

plus generales

57. eating: i just ate strawberries and a grilled cheese sandwich sooo

58. drinking: w a t e r ---stay hydrated mis amigos

59. i’m about to: host the most lit party in the world tbh (mario kart and pizza binches)

60. *bo burnham voice in my head, for some reason* it’s not real. time is an illusion.------ im lazy do u see a trend????!?

61. waiting for: my next trip to the northeast cuz i miss it

62. want: a real friend tbh.        also *dr evil voice* 1 MILLion DOllaRs

63. get married: yup and i agree with the bae on “why couldn’t this have been question 64 because when i’m sixty four by the beatles is also the best song ever sooooo”

64. career: eww the future i h8 probs an astronaut so i can fly into the void

which is better

65. hugs or kisses: AWW ILL TAKE ANYTHIN

66. lips or eyes: eyes who even looks at lips eww theyre like chapped and stuff

67. shorter or taller: short lil bean or tall beans everyone is valid

68. older or younger: all the ages?

69. yOU hAVe GOt To bE KiDdINg ME wHY is 69 SKipPeD--- gracias por las cosas

70. nice arms or nice stomach: eww nice personality honestly

71. sensitive or loud: sensitive like me hehehehhee

72. hook up or relationship: relationshippppp<3 if any soul could stand me for longer than a day

73. troublemaker or hesitant: ??????? i like robbie rotton

have you ever…

don’t we need tequila  apple juice for this part

74. kissed a stranger: no but today i made a snarky comment quietly about a kid who was smoothie drinkin and bikin and we made solid eye contact for like 30 secs sooo same difference

75. drank hard liquor: i licked vodka once it was gross and i almost threw up

76. lost glasses/contact lenses: jason sat on and broke my glasses once so same thing

77. turned someone down: yeah the monster livin in my drawer tried to take me to the movies once and i was like BOI UR A MONSTER LIVIN IN MY ROOM COME ON

78. sex on the first date:   eWWWWWEWWewewewewwwwew

79. broken someone’s heart: hah no one has ever liked me in the history of the human race sooo

80. had your heart broken: everyday

81. been arrested: im what the police call “an angel”

82. cried when someone died: every time my fav character died or any other time im an emotional lil bean honestly

83. fallen for a friend: yeahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhehehehhehe

do you believe in…

84. yourself: eww no i suck

85. miracles: one time someone said i was pretty 

86. love at first sight: yes i’m certain that it happens all the time STEALIN IT ELLIE SOZ NOT SOZ

87. santa claus: yes yes yes 

88. kiss on the first date: mmmmmmmmmidkman

89. angels: me

other

man, op really ran outta ideas here

90. current best friend’s name: none of my “best friends” think im their best friend too soooo no im a lonely person but if i had to say somethin itd be russell crow(e?) as javert tbh

91. eye color: poop brown

92: favorite movie: all of them but also good will hunting, cinema paridiso, life is beautiful, dead poets society, breakfast club, 16 candles the list goes ONNNNN man

well, it’s been real

i tag vlad putin and jeff

[andy-abroad]

Bangkok_03

June.20.2017 Hello, hello! Today was a much better day than yesterday. A little shaky, but much better. In the middle of the night, I was woken up by a large crash. Apparently someone fell down the stairs, which much have hurt a lot, as the stairs are concrete. I'm not sure if they were drunk or not, but I heard a lot of moaning and scrambling to help him. It sounded crowded so I didn't go out to investigate. After that I found it hard to sleep - a good sign. I was hungry! Planning for this, I actually had a smoothie juice by my bed. I drank it slowly, and then went to bed, a little fuller. I woke up for good in the morning, and got ready. Brushed my teeth and all of that. My time in the bathroom still wasn't very pleasant, but all I had to eat yesterday was juice and a granola bar, so I wasn't expecting much. I went downstairs and ate a bunch of bread. 1, because I was hungry, and 2, because I knew it would help settle my stomach. I had a long day planned and I didn't want to take any chances! I left the hostel and decided to give the busses one more chance. I waited for what seemed like forever (30 minutes) and the bus never came, so I gave up and called and Uber. I figured this was the day to spoil myself and Uber around because I was taking it easy. The Uber took just as long to get to me, but then we were on our way! First stop was wat arun - temple of the dawn. I heard it was under construction, but I still wanted to check it out, and I'm glad I did. The white ceramic tiles were really beautiful, and it being on the water made it pretty special. I walked around and found their souvenirs shop and picked up some post cards. The woman was trying to charge me 100 baht, so I left and found a stall two from hers that charged me 10 for 2 of the exact same cards. Go figure! I exited the temple and then called another Uber. While waiting, I went to a 7-11 to find some Gatorade. I didn't actually find Gatorade but I found a sports drink with some vitamins and some sodium in it. I figured it would help hydrate me. I also picked up a plain croissant and a water. I ate the croissant while waiting and then hopped into the Uber. Next stop was the jam factory! The jam factory was by recommendation of mama. It was this old warehouse that was restored and turned into this design collaborative. It was really cool and super hip. There was a store, a shopping area, cafes, restaurants, a gallery, and even an architecture office! I wasn't brace enough to ask if I could go in, but I looked through their windows, haha. I wandered around and took some photos, and then sat at a cafe to have a drink. I wanted a cup of tea, but for some reason they were all out? So I got a San Peligrino sparkling water instead. I sipped on my water and read my book to cool off and enjoy the fun atmosphere. They were playing jazz music! I could also see a lot of foreigners around. If I was hungrier I would have definitely ate, but I was still a little turned off by the smell of food. When the water was done and the bill paid.. you guessed it, I called another Uber. I had really wanted to see the golden spire and the jade Buddha, so I waited and got into my car. What I didn't know is that the temple housing the jade Buddha is within the walls of he grand palace. I had really no interest in going to see it, as it was very touristy and expensive, but when I got there, I felt like it'd be a waste not to go in. I almost wish I didn't. First of all, the traffic situation around the grand palace is extremely annoying. They basically cut off all traffic in a one block ring around the palace. It's huge and you have to walk all the way around! So annoying. Also, it costs about 15 USD to get in, which isn't s terrible amount of money, but for what you can see, it is. You can't enter the palace or see up close, you can only kind of walk around it. Also, it's so overrun by tourists is claustrophobic. I ended up really speedily going through all of it and leaving disappointed. I will say that what's interesting is how these sites are tourist attractions but also operate as normal temples. The people come and use the temples for prayer and for blessings. In the grand palace, locals wear all black and a silver ribbon to honor the dead king. It was really interesting to see the royal family on postcards and posters. There was even an exhibit about the king in one of the buildings. Although this was interesting, the worst part is that there was a sign advertising a postal service, which I was excited about since I wouldn't have to look it up, but they were "closed". I left and walked to get out of the palace. I actually had to wait about 15 minutes as they were preforming their "changing of the guards" and no one could leave or enter. Again. Annoying, as it wasn't even that impressive! I finally got out and to my surprise found a post office. I mailed my postcards, again, more hopeful for this one, and rewarded myself with an ice cream! I sat down and took a break, drank some sport drink, and called yet another Uber. This Uber was to take me home, where I would then go on a train to my final destination. The Uber took a really long time to come (not his fault, the traffic pattern is weird, like I said), but when he pulled over, it was strange. I opened the back door like normal to confirm his identity and for him to confirm mine, but he was nervous and told me to get in the front seat. I was confused and hesitated, and he closed the back window. I didn't realize my thumb was in the window until it was pinched between the glass and the frame. I yanked it out and got in the seat, really annoyed. He apologized a lot and explained that Uber is banned in that district and the fines are really crazy. I was trying to be understanding, but in the moment I was really angry so I just kept quiet. I really don't like sitting in the front seat, and it was clear he felt really badly. Just a very awkward ride. He got me to my hostel safely, and I said goodbye. The last place I wanted to visit, again, a mama cho recommendation was Benjakitti park. I had to take a short metro ride there (thankfully) and before I knew it, I was at my stop. The metro is so clean and has A.C. The people are really polite on transit (waiting for everyone to get off before entering, offering seats to the elderly and to monks). It was a quick walk to the park and entrance was free! I thought about doing an entire loop, but it was about 2.5k, and I didn't think I had it in me - hot and I was tired. I found a little bench to sit and enjoy some time. I read my book, drank the rest of my sports drink, and people watched. It was amazing to see how many people used the track to actually exercise. The adults ran, the kids hung out, and the elderly chatted and walked around the park. It was a park to break up how busy the city is, and it did just that. A great spot to kind of get away. While on the bench, I researched some places to eat. Originally, I had wanted a big, juicy burger, but they were all far away and not reviewed positively. I just googled 'restaurants' and there was a Korean BBQ restaurant close. I didn't really want KBBQ, at least in Bangkok (will save for Korea!) so I searched other Korean restaurants. There was one close to a stop on the same line, so I got on and went hunting for some food. The sky opened up while I was on the train - poured for a few minutes and then switched to a drizzle. I scurried to the restaurant which was only a block away, and was seated immediately. I was a bit disappointed in the menu. I really wanted 된장찌개, but they didn't have any. I didn't want any of the other soups so I got 돌솥 비빔밥 which came with miso soup. It was pretty tasty, and I talked to the owner who is Korean! He was really nice and so was the food when it came. The rice was so hot! I usually like plain, because I can eat it faster, but oh well! I am hoping this food will help get me back into the swing of eating food. Am kind of nervous. Maybe should have eaten something more plain! Haha. I paid my bill and went back on the train home. I got to my room, said hello to everyone. The guy from India actually has a sore throat now. He came yesterday when I was really sick. Maybe my throat thing started in India? He is from Mumbai. Anyways, I cleaned up my area, packed, and then showered. It felt good to wash the humidity off, as always, and climb into bed. I'm here now and going to sleep soon. Trying to get as much rest as I can before the beach, as it's a party beach! And plus, I still want to take it easy on my body. Looking forward to calling mama and papa when I wake up! Until whenever --