#I got distracted by shipping talk in the middle of doing the art for this and oh dear I've started shipping Severus Snape and Starline

[nintendoni-art]

Bumblekast Thumbnail for April 15th, 2024!

Don't have much of a description on this one, enjoy the sheer chaotic energy.

[elisajdb]

Solo Play

Story inspired by art by @ksandraws57

Staying with Bulma's parents while Goku is on his way to Namek, Chi-Chi demands to speak to Goku and learns he is doing more than training on his journey to Namek.

Another day had come and gone and Chi-Chi still had no news on Goku. After a month of spending all day in the hospital with Goku, she takes a break and leaves for a couple of hours to relax and get her mind off the ordeal of her five-year-old son in space and her husband in the hospital.

“You’re bored sitting here,” Goku told her. “Go do that shopping thing you like. I’ll be here when you get back.”

Like Hell he was. She returned with new clothes for Gohan and food for Goku only to find Goku’s confused doctor and nurse, Master Roshi and Yajirobe in the room saying she just missed Goku. Yajirobe gave him a senzu bean and Goku flew off to Bulma’s house where a second spaceship waited to take him to Namek.

Goku didn’t tell me about a second spaceship.

Chi-Chi raced to the Brief compound to learn she missed Goku by half an hour. Instead of going home, Chi-Chi invited herself to stay until Goku and Gohan returned. She waited with each passing day giving her no news of Goku or Gohan. Was he still flying in space? Was he on Namek goofing off with Gohan, Krillin and Bulma?

They are probably having the time of their lives.

Hungry, Chi-Chi went to the kitchen where she heard Dr. Brief and his wife, Panchy. “Goku should be arriving on Namek in an hour or two.” Dr. Brief was heard taking a loud slurp of what Chi-Chi assumed was coffee.

“That soon?” Chi-Chi heard Panchy’s perky voice. She was a bit ditzy but she was a comfort to Chi-Chi through this rough time offering pastries, being a kind ear for Chi-Chi to vent, and chattering about gossip to distract Chi-Chi from her problems. Chi-Chi did stay away from Panchy’s drinks. She had a feeling one glass of those special mixes would have her swinging from the ceiling or waking up in bed with Panchy and Dr. Brief.

“Has he talked to you since you helped him fix the spaceship?”

Talk? Chi-Chi didn’t know Goku talked to Dr. Brief. She didn’t know they have been in communication since Goku left Earth.

Why is everyone keeping everything from me?!

“No, but I have been watching him. He spends all his time working out. He’s made a mess of the ship’s interior.”

He’s seen Goku while I’ve been waiting, cleaning and folding his damn laundry?!  

Chi-Chi stormed into the kitchen. “HOW DARE YOU!!!” Chi-Chi’s voice bellowed so loudly  Dr. Brief burned his hand in the middle of lighting his cigarette and Panchy covered her ears. “I have been here waitin’ for news about my Goku and Gohan for days and you’ve been talkin’ to Goku all this time?!” Chi-Chi yanked the scientist from his chair and shook him. “How dare you keep this from me?!”

Though her husband was being throttled, Panchy didn’t worry. She’s seen it from Bulma enough times to know how to deal with high-strung women in this situation. “Now, Chi-Chi, with emotions high, he had to keep it from you. Goku needs to train to fight those bad guys on Namek. He needs to concentrate.”

“Bad guys?” Chi-Chi wasn’t told of any bad guys. Master Roshi told her Goku got well by a senzu bean and left on a spare ship to Namek. No one told her there were bad guys. “Are you saying my Gohan is in danger and that’s why Goku left so fast without a goodbye to me?”

Panchy put a hand over her mouth. Oops. “I thought you knew.”

“I didn’t!” Chi-Chi had enough of the secrets! “I wanna talk to Goku!” Chi-Chi yelled at Dr. Brief. “NOW!”

Dr. Brief managed to break from Chi-Chi. He smoothed his ruffled lab coat. “Goku’s almost on Namek. You would ruin his concentration. When they are on their way back home, I’ll let you talk to him.”

“NO!!!” Chi-Chi would not be denied. “I wanna see Goku!”

“I’ll take you to that room where my husband talks to Goku,” Panchy offered. “Seeing Goku is just what you need.”

Dr. Brief didn’t think that was a good idea. He remembered his daughter’s warning. “Um, dear, I don’t think…..”

Panchy waved him off. She grabbed Chi-Chi’s hand and led her out of the kitchen. “I’ll be there to keep Chi-Chi calm if she loses it. Once she sees her husband, everything will be all right.”

Panchy left with Chi-Chi while Dr. Brief worried this was a bad idea.

Most of Chi-Chi’s anger melted when they reached the communication room. Panchy’s perky demeanor helped. She gushed telling Chi-Chi she must be so happy to talk to Goku. She was very optimistic things will work out on Namek, Goku will handle the bad guys, Gohan will return home safely, and how they both must return for a visit to have drinks with her.

That suggestion conjured a disturbing image of Chi-Chi waking up in bed naked with Panchy, Goku and Dr. Brief.

The women stepped into a room with a plain desk, a computer screen, a keyboard and a microphone. Chi-Chi wasn’t a wiz on technology but she knew a little about it. She turned the monitor on. She saw Goku standing in the control room of the spaceship. It was a mess. The walls and floors were chipped and riddled with cracks due to Goku’s harsh training.

“Goku!” Chi-Chi called Goku but he didn’t respond. Chi-Chi slapped the monitor thinking that would allow Goku to hear her. It didn’t work. She flipped a switch on the microphone back and forth until she heard sounds coming from the spaceship. “Finally. Goku,” Chi-Chi called again but Goku didn’t say anything to her.

“Alright! I’m ready for Namek!”

“Goku!” Chi-Chi yelled but Goku didn’t answer.

“It seems one way,” Panchy observed.

“It shouldn’t be.” Chi-Chi typed on the keyboard hoping that will open communications. “Your husband talked to my Goku. There must be a way for me to talk to him.”

“Now that’s over with, what should I do?” Goku spoke to himself.

“How about take a shower and get some new clothes?” Chi-Chi grumbled. From how ripped his clothes were, Chi-Chi suspected Goku hadn’t showered and only trained since he left.

“Oh, I know!!” Goku spoke with joy. “I haven’t done that in a while!!”

“I knew it.” Chi-Chi shook her head. “He hasn’t showered.”

“Oh,” Panchy stepped closer to the monitor as Goku pulled off his shirt, “he’s getting undressed.”

Chi-Chi wasn’t surprised. Goku took his clothes off regardless of the room he was in. “Done what?” Chi-Chi wondered. When she saw Goku remove his pants, she remembered Panchy was in the room. She turned to the woman to block her view. “Hey! He’s my husband! You can’t look at him naked!”

“I’ve seen naked men,” Panchy defended her right to look.

“Not my Goku!”

“Oh, what’s the big deal?” Panchy pushed Chi-Chi out of the way. “Goku has the same thing as all men. If you’ve seen one penis, you’ve seen them all and……” Panchy stopped when she saw what Goku was doing on the monitor. “He’s not getting ready for a shower.”

Chi-Chi turned to see what Panchy meant and nearly fainted at what she saw.

Goku, what are you doing?!!!

“How long has it been?” Goku thought as he pulled his shirt over his head. “Before I died.” It was so rare he did it that he couldn’t remember the last time. Chi-Chi was often available to take care of his needs. It was with Chi-Chi that he learned how to do this.

“This next chapter is Mutual Mast….er” Goku slowly mispronounced, “…..ba.. sion?”

“Masturbation.” Chi-Chi covered her ears. “And don’t say that. It sounds dirty.”

“I didn’t say it. You did it and….” Goku held up the book. “It’s in the sex book.” Goku looked at pictures of men and women pleasuring each other. “I don’t think it’s dirty. It’s helping us do married couple stuff.”

Both were naïve to sex. Chi-Chi thought Goku would know what to do since he is a guy but with him being more clueless than her, Chi-Chi wearing a disguise, bought an adult book. She read to him while both looked at pictures to understand what married people do.

“It says it’s natural to touch each other so it’s not dirty. I don’t think it is anyway.” Goku defended the chapter. “How is this dirty when it’s not dirty when I’m lickin’ ya or ya suckin’ me?”

“Well…. that was fine. We were pleasuring each other. We were making each other feel good.”

“So, what’s wrong with making ourselves feel good?” Goku asked. “I only wanna touch when I think of you. I think of how you touch me with your mouth and hand and I like that feelin’”

When he put it like that, it didn’t sound dirty. Chi-Chi liked she had that effect on Goku. “I like how you feel when you touch me, too, Goku. Maybe we can do this.” Chi-Chi read the paragraphs of the chapter. “It says it can be helpful for us. If we touch and explore ourselves we can show each other where to touch so we can feel good during intimacy.” Reading that eased her apprehension. “All right. Let’s do it.” But she was still hesitant. “You go first.”

“Okay.” Goku didn’t mind being the first to try this act. Goku looked at the pictures of what a man does. It was similar to how Chi-Chi touched him. That’s how Goku began. He wrapped his hand around his length and began stroking it. He mimicked how Chi-Chi caressed him starting from the base and gliding his fingers to his tip over and over visualizing Chi-Chi doing this as she kissed him. “Yeah….” He moaned as the feelings sparked when Chi-Chi stroked him awakened in him as he stroked his cock. “Ahh!” Goku stroked faster. “Uhhhh…. that feels good.”

Chi-Chi noticed Goku’s hand moving faster over his thickening length. She noticed his breath hastening and the soft groans coming from his mouth. “It does?” She didn’t need his answer. She knew it felt good for Goku and it felt good for her, too. Seeing Goku pleasure himself caused a sensation to build between her legs that felt familiar to when Goku licked her.

“Yeah,” he panted. “I’m thinkin’ of how ya suck me… how,” he groaned as he tugged his balls, “how your mouth feels good around my cock.”

Chi-Chi would scold Goku for using that word to describe his anatomy but she was enraptured with Goku pleasuring himself and knowing he did it thinking about her. The carnality of Goku’s act was getting to her, too. She noticed the tips of her nipples poking through her thin nightgown and slickness forming between her legs.

“Come on, Chi-Chi,” Goku encouraged her. “It…. feels good. Touch yourself, too.”

Nervous with a tinge of reluctance, Chi-Chi gave in. She started grabbing her left breast. Goku loved touching her here with his hands and mouth. She squeezed her breast much gentler than Goku but was as detailed as him caressing her skin through the thin lingerie and tugged her stiff nipple to jolt a spark of pleasure through her.

That did feel good. Feeling bolder and encouraged by Goku’s stroking and grunting, Chi-Chi moved her right hand between her legs. This is where Goku gave her the most pleasure. Closing her eyes, she thought of Goku’s tongue licking where her fingers were stroking. As her fingers caressed the lips of her sex, she thought of the many times Goku tugged, sucked and licked them.

“Oh!” Her body jumped at the wild sensations bursting from her. It was as if a bolt of lightning was dipped in a cauldron of carnality and enveloped her body. That felt too good to be bad. Chi-Chi squeezed her other breast and rubbed her fingers faster. She had to get there. She had to endure that feeling again. She moved her fingers to the heart of her arousal, rubbing her slick and hard clit in circular motions, panting as she went faster. She fell against the bed as she felt that familiar exquisite feeling build in her again.

Beside her, Chi-Chi heard Goku’s grunts and the rapid flapping of his hand over his cock. It spurned Chi-Chi to go faster. “Oh!” she let out a soft moan as her fingers slid into her wet hole. She heard Goku beside her but saw him in her mind above her. His shaft replaced her fingers. He drove in and out of her with their hips creating loud smacks. “Oh, Goku… It’s …..ah…..ah…….ahh!”

It came so fast she couldn’t stop herself. Her hips rose off the bed while she cried his name. Her thighs gripped her soaking fingers as the most amazing orgasm washed over her.

Several moments passed before she opened her eyes. She felt so good. “Oh, Goku. That was….” Goku stared at her. He stopped his stroking to watch Chi-Chi touch herself until she came. His hand gripped his thick member which leaked his potent spunk she was slowly becoming addicted to.

His eyes were wild and feral. His nose flared as her sensual scent consumed him. She knew he wanted her badly and she wanted him to take her as hard and fast as he could. She reached for him and that was all she needed to do to have Goku pounce her and give her the best sex they both encountered so far in their young marriage.

Stripped naked and lying on the cracked floor, Chi-Chi knew what Goku was going to do. I can’t believe he’s….. Chi-Chi covered her eyes. She couldn’t look! And yet her fingers spread so she could see.

Goku grabbed his limp penis and began stroking it from the base where his hands brushed his balls to the head just missing his fingers from rubbing the tip.

Has he always been that long? Chi-Chi stared entranced. She knew it had been a year but Goku looked bigger. She knew the training he endured in their year apart increased his body mass. Goku was always in shape but he was not this ripped when he died.

“Oh, my!” Panchy marveled at how quickly Goku’s penis hardened. “He’s a big boy. Chi-Chi, you must tell me how well Goku uses it.”

Panchy’s voice reminded Chi-Chi she wasn’t alone. This perverted woman was watching her Goku get off. “NO!”  Chi-Chi turned to Panchy and pushed her out of the room. “This is between a husband and wife!”

“I’m a wife,” Panchy kept moving her head to see Goku rubbing off.

“You’re not Goku’s wife!” Chi-Chi pushed Panchy out of the room. “Get out! This is private between a husband and wife!!!”

“Uhh….. Chi-Chi!”

Chi-Chi turned to see it was over. Goku laid on the floor panting with a small splash of his semen on his stomach.

“Oh,” Panchy giggled. “Goku is a quickie. I thought with his youth and strength, he’d have more stamina and more spunk.” Panchy tsked disappointed. “It’s not enough to get a real taste.”

“GET OUT!” Chi-Chi closed the door on Panchy.

Chi-Chi went back to the monitor. Panchy was right. It was very soon for Goku to be done and Goku shot out more than that with her! Her body couldn’t hold it all so the sheets were always soaked with Goku’s spunk. How could it be over so soon? The last time that happened was during their first time. It was over so quickly but everything was so new for Chi-Chi then, she didn’t know it was fast.

The first experience energized Goku for more rounds and the more they engaged in sex the more Goku’s stamina and skills increased.  

“Maybe that’s it.” It had been a year. Goku was out of sync. Chi-Chi realized Goku was thinking the same thing as he sat up holding his limp penis in his hand deep in thought.

“That was quick. I hope it’s not broken. Maybe I’m rusty. Easy way to take care of that.”

Chi-Chi slipped in the chair watching Goku rub himself again. His shiny right hand wet from his first round stroked his shaft while his left hand pulled and pinched his balls the way she always does.

“Mmmm.” The deep groan rumbling from Goku’s throat made Chi-Chi grateful she was sitting. “Ya such a good girl…. suckin’ me like that.”

Chi-Chi licked her lower lip watching Goku’s cock grow before her eyes. There was something amazing watching that fun stick come to life knowing what it can do to her. It had her acting in ways Chi-Chi never imagined. She was raised to be a proper wife but Goku and his fun stick, when used, drove her wild. It had her saying and doing things she never thought she would. He can have her screaming for him, begging for him to not stop and to keep driving in her. She’d submit to any position he wanted just so she can have it. She didn’t care if his plowing sometimes hurt. The pain was worth it for the rewarding feelings he gave her.  

It's been so long. Chi-Chi squeezed and massaged her left breast while her right hand went inside her dress and pushed aside her damp panties where her fingers comforted a part of her longing for Goku’s touch for a long and tumultuous year.

A relieved sigh escaped her lips as her body was finally getting nurtured. She held off doing this while Goku was dead. The knowledge they will be together sustained her for a year but watching Goku pleasure himself broke the final resistance in her to give in to the needs of her body.

It felt good to stare and dream of riding Goku’s cock on full display and to dream of taking him in her mouth to suck and lick until his potent cream erupted and cascaded down her throat.

“Ah…. Chi-Chi,” Goku groaned as his hand stroked faster. “Ya suck so good.”

Even though he was millions of miles away, he thought of her and it made Chi-Chi feel she was in the room with him giving him pleasure. “That’s because you taste so good.” Chi-Chi fingered her clit. “Oh, Goku,” she imagined Goku’s tongue in the place of her finger, stroking and nibbling her clit where she rubbed and pinched. “if only you knew what you did to me.”

Chi-Chi.

Goku.

Eyes flew open and their bodies pulsed as something passed through them. Chi-Chi felt Goku’s presence and Goku could feel Chi-Chi. It was impossible. They were millions of miles away but looking at the screen Chi-Chi saw Goku’s eyes were open, too.

Does he know?

Is Chi-Chi watching?

They weren’t physically near each other but they could feel the other’s presence as if knowing what the other was doing. Instead of being turned off, it spurned them even more.

Chi-Chi opened her cheongsam and pushed her breasts out of her bra. Her fingers caressed her skin as she imagined Goku’s tongue licking her firm breasts. Her fingers pinched her stiff nipple but in her mind, she saw Goku sucking, tugging and nibbling her rough tip. “Ah, Goku.” He was here. She knew he was. She couldn’t feel this pleasure with her fingers alone.

She panted as his head kept moving south to nestle between her legs. It wasn’t her fingers spreading the lips of sex and rubbing her clit. It was Goku slipping his tongue softly down and rolling circles over her clit while he sucked her wet folds and cause her hips to rock against his mouth.

“Goku…….”

“Chi-Chi…..” Goku’s hand was back to stroking his penis but he felt Chi-Chi’s warm mouth enveloped around him with her tongue creating the slippery feel of his pumping hands coated from his first release.

“Heh. Ya such a dirty girl.”

That’s cause I’m your dirty girl.

He could feel Chi-Chi there with him, engulfing his manhood with her pretty mouth sucking away while her black strands tickled his thighs. His hand pumped his cock but Goku saw Chi-Chi pushing his cock past her lips and down her mouth until he touched the back of it and reacted with a dreamy moan.

Ya like that?

“Don’t stop,” he groaned feeling that imaginary tongue work his shaft while his left hand grabbed his balls for a firm squeeze.  

Only my mouth can make you feel this.

“Chi-Chi,” his hand fisted at the base of his shaft as he envisioned Chi-Chi swirling her tongue around his pink head and tickling the hole with the tip of her tongue. His chest heave as the air was sucked into his lungs. The intense feeling of his strokes merging with Chi-Chi sucking left him breathless.

Gonna make you cum so good.

“Ya baby! That’s it!” Goku encouraged Chi-Chi as he felt a big one was brewing and it was gonna be good.

Chi-Chi was also getting close. Instead of Goku’s mouth licking her core, Goku’s shaft plunged in and out of her building the heat between her thighs as she bucked in the chair.

That’s right. Take my dick. Beg for it.

Chi-Chi tossed her head left and right as Goku slapped his hips against her as his cock pounded hard between her legs and caused her walls to tremble with each unrelenting thrust. “Give me more.” This is what she desperately missed over the year. Goku pinning her underneath him while he mercilessly smashed her body with savage thrusts.

Want more? Heh. Tell me what I wanna hear.

She hated that word but she couldn’t deny Goku’s request when he made her feel this good. “Fuck me!”

That’s my girl.

Chi-Chi screamed, thrusting back as she felt herself impaled deeply by Goku’s cock. He began to pump her hips with smooth, ardent strokes with each growl of his thrust mixing with her screams. Her muscles tightened around his cock with each delicious, wet smack.

Chi-Chi’s soaking fingers were a blur as they plunged in and out of her core faster mimicking Goku’s imaginary cock as she suddenly gripped it in place screaming Goku’s name while Goku imagined Chi-Chi’s mouth sucking and slurping up and down his length with her tongue gliding against his veiny length. Wild sensations pulsed through him until Goku’s head jerked and his back arched as he screamed Chi-Chi’s name with a lusty groan. A heavy load of his cum fired into the air. The thick and white cream spurted like a fountain splashing his thighs, chest and stomach.

“Huf….. huf…” Goku’s chest puffed as he stared at the ceiling. “Aw, man,” Goku finally said after feeling the strength to speak again, “I really needed that!”

There were no words to describe to euphoric joy of getting one out after a long drought.

“At least I know it still works,” he joked to himself. After his body was left completely broken, Goku wasn’t sure if it would work again. “Chi-Chi will be happy.” The presence he thought he felt with her was gone but Goku was happy and felt very good. “Oops,” he laughed as he noticed his essence across his chest and stomach. “Guess I better take that shower now.”

Grinning, Goku got on his feet and walked out of the camera’s view.

Chi-Chi sagged in her chair feeling sated and slightly exhausted. She couldn’t feel Goku anymore either but her dark mood was lifted. They didn’t talk but what passed between them was enough. With Goku no longer on the monitor, Chi-Chi turned it off, rose from the chair, adjusted her dress and smoothed her hair so her bun was neatly in place. She hummed to herself and walked out to see a nervous Dr. Brief standing outside.

Dr. Brief had been waiting ever since he saw Panchy be pushed out of the room. “How did it go?”

“It was wonderful. Exactly what I needed.”                     

Chi-Chi continued humming down the hall leaving Dr. Brief confused. Chi-Chi’s flushed cheeks and satisfied smile left the doctor to draw one conclusion.

That woman yelled Goku’s head off.

In the security room where one could see cameras filming all the rooms on the Capsule Corporation compound, Panchy sat with her pretty blue eyes rarely open to an empty room and dark monitor.

I knew seeing Goku was what Chi-Chi needed.

[whumping-valentine]

🦌 Fawn and Hunter - Part 14 🦌

"The Apocalypse"

Content: ??? Idk this is kinda tame. Nothing whumpy happens. I suppose Stockholm syndrome and captivity, mayhaps. Oh also people die but that's whatever lolll.

3,200 words

Hey y'all, it's time for part 14! I meant to get this out like over a week ago now but I got distracted by drawing because I'm trying a new art style and am absolutely obsessed with it.

Since I've gotten lots of followers since the last part's release, here's the Masterlist if you wanna read it!

As always, I apologize for my writing quality 😓

Enjoy! 🛸

     Severin's adaptation to werewolf life in a cult was difficult and surreal, to say the least. Not to mention scary. No one had yet realized he wasn't actually a part of the pack, though some have commented on his unfamiliar smell. The trio assured them he'd been here for a while now. Agnes and Anthony's rank was enough to keep them from prying any further.

     The good news was none of this speculation had gotten back to Ethel. If she heard of the suspicions and wanted to check it out for herself, Severin would be a goner. Surely she'd also figure out her two top dogs were behind it, too. That wouldn't be good for anyone.

     They've made it by for a week now, and news was starting to circulate around Severin's spacecraft…

-----

     “I'm here at the sight of the crash in the small town of Woodmar. An apparent UFO has wrecked in the middle of the woods. Authentic, or hoax? Let's find out.” A news reporter spoke. She and the cameraman inspected the wreckage while commentating.

     By now, it had run out of power, so none of the technology worked. While the craft might have been able to be explained away as an art project, the destruction it left in its wake didn't have the same level of excusability. As soon as this story got out, it was sure to gain traction all over the internet. It was the most definitive proof of extraterrestrial life the world had ever seen, and it was right here, up close and personal.

    Both the reporter and cameraman got noticeably more excited and scared as they inspected. It got harder and harder to pass off as anything other than the truth of what it was: a UFO. The two of them talked about how they wished it was a live broadcast instead of a pre-recording, they wanted the world to see this immediately!

     In the middle of the reporter's sentence, the microphone's signal was unexpectedly cut off, and the camera stopped working completely. The two inspected their devices, unaware of the creatures who stalked them from behind the trees.

     In an instant, both the reporter and the cameraman were shot dead.

     A pair of aliens emerged from behind the bushes, guns in hand as they approached the human corpses. They looked down on them in scorn before inspecting the ship.

     “Oh, of course." One of the aliens groaned, "You know who's ship this is? It's Severin's!”

     “I always knew he wasn't cut out for this." The other shook their head, "Should we tell The Council?”

     “No, of course not. We cannot let them know someone has already fumbled the mission, they will think poorly of us all. It's not good that the humans are already suspicious of our plans. We need them to be oblivious, at least for a little while longer.”

     “What do you suggest we do?”

     “There is not anything that we need to do. It wasn't a live broadcast. All we need to do is destroy the camera, and the evidence is gone. By the time the news station realizes the reporters they sent are missing, it'll be too late. We won't need to hide anymore.”

     “We’re already here, aren’t we? We’re already infiltrating. It’ll only take a few days now before we have control over this pathetic planet. By the time The Council arrives to survey, the human race will already be enslaved and ready to serve the Empire.”

     “I sure hope so.” they said, "So long as the fuck up doesn't fuck it up anymore than they already have..."

----

     Hunter let out a sigh as they awoke, groaning as they stretched their arms, bones cracking.

     “You sure slept in.” Fawn mumbled, already wide awake, sitting with their hands cupping their head, “Though maybe it’s 8 am and I’m the one up early. Who knows.”

     “Mm. You sound depressed.” Hunter mumbled, “It's day 40, you know? Hooray, give it up for day 40!” They cheered sarcastically.

     Fawn sighed and rubbed their face, “Oh, human life is so short. I can't believe I'm wasting away my precious days trapped here doing nothing! My precious, sweet young days! Why couldn't it have been when I'm older, at least then my glory days would've been behind me!”

     Hunter chuckled, though it was more sad, “Glory days are a myth. Don't worry about your youth. Some people peak early, others late, and some not at all. Some people die before their good days. Some never had a chance in the first place.”

     “Yeah, because people like you took it away from them.”

     “I know.” Hunter said, though it wasn't remorseful nor regretful. It was simply an admission, or acknowledgement. “I won't pretend to be a good person. I'm not. Though… I do wish I could've done things differently.”

     “What, you expect me to feel sympathy for you, or something?”

      “No, of course not. I'm not looking for pity, I don't want pity. I'm just stating how I feel. How you feel about that in return is up to you, I don't fucking care.”

     “Really? Because it sure sounds like you do.”

     Hunter sighed, “Look… this isn't easy for me to say, but I'll finally tell the truth for once. I like you, Fawn. Well, not romantically or anything like that, but I… I enjoy your company.”

     Fawn wasn't sure how to respond to that.

     “Jesus, I say something sentimental for once in my life and you look at me like I'm insane.”

     “Well…”

     “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I’m already insane.”

     “You’re a murderer.”

     “I know.”

     Neither spoke another word. 

     One of the members walked into view with two plates of food.

     “Oh, day 41, even better!” Hunter said. The member placed the plates on the floor, before introducing themself sheepishly.

     “Um… hi. My name is Severin. I'm… from space?” He said, awkwardly pointing upwards.

     “You're an alien?” Fawn questioned.

     “Shh, not so loud! I'm… not supposed to be here. I'm planning on leaving soon... with… two of my friends. They told me they wanted you to come with us.”

      “What, the two people who took us here in the first place? And now they’re making you do the risky job of getting us out? Yeah, friends that I’d definitely trust.”

     “You don’t understand- ugh- look, do you want out or not?”

     “Of course I do! Are you kidding me?”

     Severin unlocked the door, “Then follow me and stay quiet.”

     Fawn's eyes widened. Oh, this was happening fast. They quickly, yet cautiously with suspicion, stepped out of the cell. Hunter hopped to their feet to follow.

     “Can we leave this one here?” Fawn whispered. Hunter folded their arms, and Severin shook his head before hurriedly rushing both of them out.

     He snuck them up the stairs where Anthony and Agnes were waiting to help keep cover. The three acted like a shield, even though there wasn't anyone else around. Agnes and Anthony had managed to get them to leave the area due to their height on the hierarchy. They'd said Ethel wanted them for something. Once that was figured out a lie, it'd be over for them.

     Ethel will surely find out about all of this and won't be pleased in the slightest, but the twins made their decision to leave no matter the cost. Once a nice distance away, Agnes and Anthony took off their masks, heaving a sigh of relief.

     Agnes had long dark brown hair that looked choppy and uneven. Freckles lined her face, her eyes were tired and grey.

     Anthony had short light brown hair, that was a slight bit lengthy and very, very messy. Just like Agnes he too had freckles.

     “Oh, wow. You guys look… normal.” Fawn said.

     “Huh? Why?” Agnes questioned, “What did you think we looked like?”

     “I dunno, like werewolves, I guess.”

     “What do you mean ‘like werewolves’?”

     “I don’t know, like all hairy, or something.”

     “Is that racist?” Anthony asked.

     “I don’t know, you’re the werewolf, you tell me!”

     “Listen,” Agnes said, changing the subject, “We may be out, but we aren't safe, and we never will be. Anthony and I were Ethel's top members, when she realizes we're gone, she's gonna come and find us. Especially once she and the rest of the pack also notice the humans are missing, and we gave them false directions, and then the rest of the whole Apocalypse stuff…”

     “So… what do we do now?” Fawn asked.

     Anthony shrugged, “I dunno. Try to survive, I guess.”

     “We need some kind of plan.” Agnes said, “Ethel will find us, and she'll be angry.”

     “And the other invaders have to know I've messed up badly by now…” said Severin.

     Fawn clasped their hands together, “Welp, it sure sucks to be you guys. See ya!”

     Agnes scoffed and folded her arms, “Do you really think you're safe? You and your friend here are more screwed than we are.”

     “W- okay, first of all, they're not my friend, and secondly… I'm still leaving.” they said, and turned to leave, walking away.

     I didn't call it the Great Human Extinction for nothing.” Anthony yelled out to them.

     Fawn stopped and turned, “And why did you call it that?”

     "Why do you think?”

     “Well… considering I’ve seen werewolves, vampires, and now aliens, I’m gonna guess an overthrow of Earth?”

     “Pretty much, yeah.” Agnes confirmed, “Worst case scenario is you die. Best case scenario is you’ll no longer be human by the end of this. Or both. Both is highly likely.”

     “Well that’s great to hear.”

     “If you don’t end up dead or a non-human, you’ll be enslaved by my people.” Severin said.

     “You guys are the best at delivering good news.”

     “See? You're screwed, too. We're in this together.” Agnes said.

     “I didn't ask to be in this in the first place!”

     “Do you think anyone asked to be in this? No, we didn't. Our chances are stronger together, so you can either go and fend this off alone, or bare the storm with us.”

     “Ugh.” Fawn groaned, “Fine.” They said, folding their arms. Everyone looked to Hunter.

     “What about you?” Agnes asked.

     Hunter responded, “Bold of you to assume I have anything better going on in my life.”

     “Well then, we have a group at least.” Anthony said, “that's a start, right?”

      “Barely.” Agnes said, “Let's get out of these woods, first and foremost. We'll go from there.”

     And so, the group of five made their way through the forest. Anthony was anxiously trying to rip apart his mask, Agnes distracted herself by gazing up at the trees, and Severin jumped at every cracking branch. Hunter looked unbothered, and Fawn felt like they were running a marathon from how fast their heart was beating.

     As they walked, they could see a building up ahead through the trees. They could feel their heart flutter as they picked up their speed. Once their feet hit the concrete and they knew where they were, they took off without a second thought.

     They ran down the street as fast as their legs could carry them, running all the way up to an average, inconspicuous house. It was small and feeble, but by God, it was home.

     Fawn nearly burst the door down as they unlocked it with a hidden key. The first thing they did was collapse onto their couch, and began sobbing. They weren’t sure if it was out of relief, fear, sadness, or all of the above. Probably all of the above.

     Agnes, Anthony, and Severin followed them inside, while Hunter stood in the doorway. They rubbed their arm awkwardly as Fawn cried, feeling… strange. Guilty? Did they feel guilty? They felt intrusive just being in the doorway, so they turned around and sat in their front yard.

     After a minute, Fawn’s cries slowly dwindled until they were left sniffling. They felt like they could fall asleep right there as they were. They were exhausted in every sense of the word, and now for the first time in months, they felt they could truly, finally relax. They were home. On their couch. It felt like everything could be okay again…

     If it weren’t for the whole apocalypse thing.

     Fawn took in a deep breath, exhaling it in a mix of a sigh and a groan. They pushed themself up, sitting criss-crossed on the couch. They rubbed their eyes under their glasses, then just sat. Sat and stared at the dirty carpet of their living room floor.

     Nothing would ever be the same again, nor would it ever be how they’d hoped. All of their plans, their dreams, their entire life, it was gone. It didn’t matter if they were still trapped with Hunter at the cabin, or by the werewolves, or even if they were right here back home on their couch. It would all end up the same. Nothing mattered anymore. They wondered if it ever did.

     They stood up from the couch after what felt like hours, and walked up the creaky wooden stairs to their bedroom. Their heart skipped a beat as they turned the old knob. Everything was just as they left it before going out on their walk.

     They grabbed a spare pair of glasses they had, and they weren't prepared for how amazing it was to see without cracks. They sat on their bed and stared down at the old pair, running their thumb over the cracks. Their hands began to shake, and they tossed them away to the floor, landing in a pile of clothes. They reached for their medication on the bedside table and stared down at it.

     It would be so nice to not feel like they're dying all the time, but… They’ve already been forced to stop taking them all at once, and considering the whole apocalypse thing, they doubted they’d be able to refill their prescription. This bottle was all they had left, and it would be for the best to just deal with the anxiety- as awful as it may be. At least they weren’t someone who needed drugs in order to live…

     Their favorite old jacket was thrown over a wooden chair. They put it on, and it felt like the most comforting thing to exist. So warm and secure. They picked up a handheld mirror that laid on their desk and took a look at their reflection. They knew their hair had grown over the last few months, but seeing their actual face really put it in perspective. Their hair was down past their shoulders. They couldn’t recall the last time it was that long.

     Before going back downstairs, they grabbed a wooden baseball bat they had lying underneath their bed. Agnes and Anthony were being nosy as they innocently looked through Fawn’s things, but Fawn didn’t care. Severin looked fascinated by the alien-to-him objects, typing stuff down on his half-working tablet.

     Fawn left their house where they saw Hunter sitting criss-crossed in the grass, picking at the clovers and dandelions. They cautiously approached them, sitting down next to them with a bit of distance. Hunter glazed over to them with a side eye, keeping their attention on the ground.

     Fawn twiddled with their thumbs, and fidgeted with the loose threads of their jacket, unable to think of something to say. It was strange, what they had. They were a captive and a captor, a victim and a murderer, a fawn and a hunter. Yet now, they could almost feel like… friends. Fawn scrunched their face at the thought.

     Hunter was the one to break the silence, “Why are you still here?”

     “What do you mean? This is my yard.”

     “Oh. Yeah. That is true… I guess the better question is, why am I here, huh?”

     “Yeah, Hunter, why are you here?” Fawn said, “That’s not even your real name, either, is it?”

     “No, it’s not. Does it matter?”

     “If you wanna sit in my yard and rip up my grass then yes, it does. Tell me your real name or get out.”

     Hunter shrugged and got up.

     "Wait, you’re actually leaving?”

     “Hey, you gave me an either or and I took it. Have fun with your group of four, I'll finally fuck off.” They said, and began walking away down the street.

     “Ugh- wait.” Fawn said, getting up to follow them. Hunter didn't stop walking.

     “What, grow attached to me now?”

     “Fuck you.”

     “uh huh. I see."

     "Fuck you." Fawn said again, "The woods were my only escape, and now it’s the fucking apocalypse. No one has anywhere to go. This is it… why… why did you even take me in the first place?"

     "I... I was sadistic."

     "What would you know? You're not me."

      "That's not the reason. At least not the main one."

     “Earlier today, you told me you liked me. You… kept me because you were lonely.”

     “You say that with a lot of confidence.”

     “Well I’m right, ain’t I? You decided you liked me, so instead of killing me, you kept me. That’s what you did.”

     “Is it?”

     “Yes! You literally told me!”

     “Did I?”

     “Yes! Today!”

     “I don’t think I said that.”

     “UAGH!” Fawn groaned, “You’re fucking impossible! You’re infuriating!” They plopped down onto a curb, putting their head in their hands. Hunter leaned against a street sign.

     Fawn sighed, "... Back... when I was sick and you were taking- taking care of me. That was- it was the first time I've ever been cared for like that. Not even my own mother showed me that kind of kindness. I- I just can't deal with it.”

     For a moment Hunter’s face softened. Just a moment. “What, so I remind you of your shitty mom?”

     "No, you're like my shitty mother if my shitty mother was also a fucking creep who gave even just a single fuck about me."

     The two sat on the curb in silence as they stared out at the sunset over the skyline. The air was warm with a gentle cool breeze.

     "Ooohhh, I see. So I'm not like your mother, I'm like your mommy." Hunter teased, and Fawn turned an embarrassed shade of red, making Hunter chuckle. They sat down next to them.

     Fawn finally spoke, "Fuck. I think I have Stockholm syndrome."

     "Hey, at least you're self-aware. Spending 41 days trapped with me as an equal fucked ya up, didn't it?” They teased, nudging Fawn with their elbow.

     “You're not funny, or cute, or quirky.”

     “I ain't sayin’ I am. I'm an asshole who likes to torment people. I think you need to care a little less."

     "Does it even fucking matter anymore? It's the end of the world, Hunter!"

     “Yeah, so what better time is there to stop caring?”

     “We’re all going to die. You heard what Severin said. The aliens want to enslave us, the werewolves want to use us as some kind of godly sacrifice, and the vampires… what do they want? Our blood, and- oh, god, is Anaira okay?!”

     “Okay, look. Sure, maybe the world as we know it is ending. Sure, maybe we're all doomed by the narrative. But that doesn't mean we can't fight to the end, does it? I mean, you said it yourself, nothing matters anymore. So let's forget about trivial problems and fuck shit up. There are no more consequences.”

     “If there are no more consequences, then I should be able to strangle you right here, right now. Beat you with this bat."

     “I mean… yeah. You could try. You think once this whole thing really gets going that the police are gonna care? Or rather that they'll still exist at all. It's a time for anarchy, it's time to actually eat the rich. It's time to fuck around and find out. What's there left to lose? So, yeah, you can try to strangle me. The only person who'd be stopping you is me.”

Fawn stood up, and began walking away.

     “Where are you going?”

     “Well, it's the Apocalypse, ain't it? So let's get prepared.”

Taglist: @parasitebunny @whumpy-wyrms @fruitypinapple00 @otterfrost

Lmk in the comments if you want added or removed !

Thanks for reading !! 💕🦌

[amphiptere-art]

Random conversations i had on the Dandy's friends server that were important

Discussing a universe where Dandy kept Astro out of a loop. AU potential where Astro gets hurt planning trying to stop Dandy once he learns the truth.

Discussing how many toons technically, using magic.

I like to see Roger as a father dude, but I still do like ships with glisten.

First discussion about making puffle. The garnering around the fact that I want to make a dinosaur too much.

i made Puffle. Soon after blue made a better looking one. Everybody yammers about how cute they are. I discuss about their abilities.

play time with others. Had struggles distracting goob. And then I got jump scared by Teagan. Then nearly died to astro as i was handling another goob. Was dealing with a very mean cosmo. Atlas lived forever.

Small discussion about how some words blocked on roblox are very, very stupid.

There was a small talk about how all the dandy characters have different heads.

Talk about the Minecraft movie and the fact that we are disappointed. It's a comedy and doesn't look right.

Asked for some dinosaur prompts. And then Showed off some of my dinosaur drawings.

I only think Pebble is better because he can actually handle things like twisted Pebble and other really quick ones. His super speed makes it so he can go in a tight circle and usually keep everyone's attention. His downside is that his teammates have to be sneaky. They have to be at least somewhat good at the game. Goob is definitely a better team player. Pebble you need a team that knows what they're doing. But goob is so much better for a lobby experience. It's more fun and less professional.

Dude I finally figured out why some sprouts start distracting. They have a very similar stat thread to Tisha. Except they have a much higher stamina. They have four star walk, five star stamina. With a three-star stealth. With very low skill check and extraction speed of two stars each. If they aren't healing anyone they really do work well as a distractor.Basically unlike Tisha which acts better as a backup distractor. As she has high skill check. Sprout is literally a healer and distractor. His only downside is his stealth which is a similar problem Pebble already has.(edited)The only reason Pebble is still the best distractor is because of his bark.

I'm introduced to Pressure and had some spooky interactions with the imaginary friend. Following with my first interaction was who I was calling white face, but is actually painter. I also believed a squid was a clothesinger.

I Discuss the program that I use to actually play Dandy's world on the computer with a controller.

Got spam tagged And it did not see any of it. leading to a very silly scenario.

Concerns about racing art and either my new meds or anxiety.

They're struggled to figure out how to swim in Pressure. Mostly because of an eyeball stark that got me stuck.

What's more conversation about how lucky I get with Randos. Usually only having one or two bad ones.

Found some unique Rooms in pressure. Rome was a bunch of office like rooms and other was a giant circular room with a doors Tribute in the middle. Also, a day to the I was currently calling not Bracken. Also found an invisible cat.

Small silly situation where I put sunnyd in my cat mug. Promising to never do it again, because it looked off.

And some really cool old art of Dandy's characters. Particularly of goob and a dragon scraps.

Silly picture of shrimp in a cup.

Conversation about wanting to play Minecraft with people, but Struggling because of minecraft.

-------on 187 of all messages i had.

I never finished archiving. I am simply posting this because there's no point holding onto something that I will never return to.

[thebluestbluewords]

I am in love with this art, it's so gorgeous! As an angst lover and a die hard believer that Jay falls hard and fast for his friends the second he has the beginnings of a crush, I am thinking SO hard about this concept.

I've read one variation on hanahaki that I absolutely loved and want to think about here, where instead of the disease happening because of unrequited feelings of love, it happens because the affected person won't acknowledge/say anything about their feelings. As much as I enjoy the angst potential of unrequited jaylos (and I do think this idea could still play out that way, just bear with me), I also really enjoy the variation where hanahaki disease doesn't require reciprocation or death. 

I'm thinking about Jay as the protector of the group. As the cool one, who's there for the others but doesn't have the first clue how to talk about his own feelings. Thinking back to the D2 "girl talk" scene, Jay is a great guy and a loyal friend, but he's not super....emotionally intelligent. It feels very true to how I'm reading his character for him to develop feelings, and then just never talk about them or mentally acknowledge them, because he doesn't have the time or brain space for feelings! He's busy! He's got swords to swing and classes to take and Chads to bother! 

And okay, maybe he's staying busy because he doesn't know how to deal with these feelings that keep popping up whenever he looks at Carlos and sees him happy, laughing, thriving now that they're off the isle, but whatever. He's a friend, and Jay has a lot of feelings about all of his friends. He's just a great friend kinda guy. 

(Jay does not have these feelings about all of his friends) 

And like, maybe his chest hurts a little more than it should, but that's fine. He's probably just tired. He'll sleep it off. 

(spoiler alert: he does not sleep it off) 

It's a surprise when the first flower petals start. Jay isn't expecting to start hacking out a lung after practice, and he really isn't expecting it when instead of a blob of gross chest mucus, he coughs up a handful of bright yellow flower petals. He's seen a lot of Weird Shit happen, but flowers coming out of his body isn't normal, and reeks of magic bullshittery, so he goes to the best magic person he knows, which is Mal. 

Mal is in the middle of a mental breakdown, because I'm imagining this set in a vague time slightly before the second movie, where she's always one bad day away from snapping and murdering everyone around her and then herself, but she's grateful for a magical distraction. A magical mystery to throw herself into is as good an excuse as any to get out of her ongoing obligations! 

Except...there's nothing about throwing up flowers in her mother's spellbook. 

There's nothing in the library either. There's a restricted collection of magical textbooks and histories in Fairy Godmother's office, but they don't have any way of breaking in there, and they're committed to the whole goodness thing now. No more breaking and entering, even if it is for research. They'll just order the books themselves, off the dark web! It's much more morally defensible to engage in the illegal magical objects trade than it is to break into a teacher's personal book collections. 

Unfortunately, the dark web isn't known for speedy shipping, and Jay's flower petals are starting to come up spotted with blood. He's pretty sure it's because they're tearing his throat on the way up, but the chest pain is a little scary, and he's sick and tired of waking up to the feeling of vines clogging his throat. (this is also where I would put a claustrophobia moment, if I was writing this for real and not just in bullet points). Jay's dad didn't exactly lock him in the closet as a kid, but Jay's been stuck in too many small, dark spaces  while hiding from villains who caught him stealing from them to be fond of the feeling. The flowers don't cut off his light, but they clog his throat, and when he moves too quickly he'd swear that he can feel them ripping free of his lungs. It feels like he's drowning on dry land, and if there's one thing Jay does have an irrational fear of, it's drowning. 

Nobody dies on the isle, but if you drown, the spell will bring you back over and over, and it'll hurt every single time. 

Jay's the protector of the group. The loyal friend who looks out for everybody. But he can't look out for them if he can't breathe, and online shippers don't respond well to Mal's threats of violence and dragonfire on everything they love, so with a full bloody flower in hand, they break into Fairy Godmother's office. 

It's a tense break-in, but they're careful and quiet (one bloody flower coughing fit notwithstanding) and the information they need is coincidentally in the first book they find. (Mal uses a searching spell to find the topic, but she's got her magic under control, and it's fine. It's not like Fairy Godmother would put magical shields on her office that are set to trigger a silent alarm if she senses magic being cast around her collections....no. She'd never do that). 

Hanahaki. It's a magical disease, Mal reads out, that affects those who are in unrequited love. It's characterized by flowers in the lungs, and can be easily resolved by.....oh, okay, maybe she can just cast a localized fire spell to burn the flowers out? A little weed killer shot? They could make Jay laugh in the middle to make sure he aspirates it into his lungs. She's just spitballing here. 

Jay is not amused by these suggestions. He would wrestle her for the book and read it himself, but he can't fucking breathe right now, and the next flower that comes up is whole, and there's more blood than petal visible. 

Okay, Mal says. Okay. You just need to confess your feelings to the person you're in love with, and the flowers will die on their own once you acknowledge that you're in love. 

Ah, says Jay. Yeah. Okay. I'll just die then. 

(and then Carlos and Evie run in because hey, Fairy Godmother is on her way back, and she's moving pretty fast, and does anyone else hear an alarm??) 

They can't run fast enough. Before they're even out the door, Fairy Godmother is there, and her phone is BLARING the magical alert sound, and she's not exactly pleased to see four students ransacking her personal magical reference library, but oh, dear, that's a lot of blood-- 

Jay maybe, possibly can't breathe. And like. The lecture they're getting is cool and all, but he's just gonna cough until he passes out, if that's cool with everyone? Great. Perfect. 

He wakes up in the school nurse's quarters, because they didn't know where else to drag him. The nurse can't do shit, and the others are literally begging him to confess, but Jay Cannot Talk About This, not in front of everyone, and....look, he'll deal with it in the morning. Just one night to sleep it off and gather himself, and then he'll do it. Just. Give him space. 

The girls leave. Carlos can't abandon his roommate to a night alone in the nurse's office, so he's reluctant, and this is it, this is the moment. 

Jay literally has to tell him. 

Or else he's going to die. 

(and maybe it's unrequited, but the confession is the important part, and before Carlos can give him an answer, Jay starts coughing again, and the next flowers that come up are still bloody, but they're not bright and fresh anymore, and the stabbing pain of the vines in his lungs are already fading, and that's it, the answer doesn't matter, because the flowers are dead now and all that's left to do is pass the remaining plant matter and they can both get on with their lives and never talk about it again)

(but they maybe do talk about it again) 

Because maybe they don’t love each other the same way, but they’re still friends, and Jay’s still in love, and they have to make sure the flowers don’t come back— because they can’t come back. There’s no way he’d get the same disease twice. They can just be friends, and Jay can be in love, and it’ll be fine.

They’ll be fine.

(if I want to get REALLY angsty with this, the magical hanahaki is progressive, and the first time it only requires a confession, but if it comes back it requires the feelings to be required, and oh, it’s going to come back.)

One sided Jaylos lives in my head rent free 

[coexiising]

art deco - anakin skywalker

SUMMARY ◆ You’ve been Anakin Skywalker’s Padawan for almost five years now, recieving training from one of the most brilliant Jedi Knights you have ever met. In an attempt to further your training, you and your Master take a trip to Naboo, however, it is soon revealed that your feelings will get in the way. 

WARNING(S) ◆ Smut, lowkey slow burn, anakin being hot but what’s new, dirty talk, authority kink, virginity kink, bye

WORDS ◆ 7.8k and i regret nothing

NOTE ◆ I wrote this during heartbreak so this is me totally projecting

»»————-　✼　————-««

THERE WAS SOMETHING INCREASINGLY PLEASANT ABOUT BEING ON NABOO. You were quick to realize that the planet’s beauty that was always spoken about was not just a thing of rumors, and that, in fact, the place was even more beautiful than you could possibly imagine. The way that every tree hung perfectly, with it’s branches begging to be touched by a passerby, and how every single animal that grazed along it’s pastures had a sense of calm that you had never felt in all your years of living in the galaxy.

The villa along the large lake a few miles away from the main city was a thing of dreamlike structures. It’s columns held intricate pieces of wood and stone and the balconies that overlooked both water and flower fields were more welcoming than you could ever imagine. A own little touch of paradise, and you would be staying here for only a week.

The war, which you had been flung into only a few years into your training, was going on longer than anyone anticipated. The separatists were not letting up on their preposition to become a sovereign state, and the deaths of thousands mass produced clones has become a daily thing. It took a great toll on everyone involved, and more specifically the Padawan’s like yourself that were not at all prepared for this type of environment for your training. When you were just a youngling, all you expected was to go on lots of missions with your Master that would be Jedi affairs, not Republic ones. In a way, you felt as if you were being robbed of something that you weren’t quite sure how to pinpoint, an innocence in a way.

This was the Council’s way of trying to make it up to you. You knew that it wasn’t supposed to actually be a vacation, no, you were meant to keep up with your training, just in a different environment that would make you more akin with the Force. And that place was Naboo, tranquility in the form of a planet.

“I can feel your apprehension,” Your Master told you, walking in front of you up the stone stairs that came up to the front door of the place you would be staying in with him. Behind you was a ship, no one inside to accompany the two of you. To do this right, as the Council said, you were not to be distracted by anyone else, no clones, no droids, no nothing.

If only they knew that it didn’t matter if there was no one other than your Master to engage with, because Anakin Skywalker, alone, was able to distract you for hours on end if you really put your mind to it. Anakin and you were very similar in age, early adult years, and yet he had the role of Master and you were still just a Padawan. You knew that it was because of his efforts during the Battle of Geonosis at the very beginning of the war, and that alone was enough to grant him the title of Jedi Knight, but it still was awkward at points when he talked down on you, because really, he had only two years more experience in life than you did.

You did what you were told. You always did. As a youngling you had a temper, a rebellious streak that for a time was almost concerning for the Council and the Master’s that taught you. And yet, here you were, a respectful young Jedi. Over the years you have grown, probably more than any other youngling that the Order has ever seen. It was like overnight somehow you turned from a child to a young woman, and you were adamant about completing your studies so that you could become a Jedi Knight. Those plans, however, got incredibly tainted with the war, and then with the introduction of you and your Master. It was a rather uncalled for pairing. You were hoping for someone like Master Yoda to take you as his Padawan or even for master Plo Koon, yet it was wildly noted that you were picked by Anakin Skywalker yourself. A rather odd thing and he still hasn’t told you completely why.

Anakin was not entirely a man of secrets. You could ask him things about almost anything and he would tell you. The only thing that he kept guarded in the deepest parts of his mind was things of his past, and his reasoning behind making such vast decisions like taking on a Padawan during a large civil war. But you and Anakin still managed to be very close, the Force growing strong between both of you as if it too agreed in your compatibility.

You shook your head, immediately refuting his accusations. “No, it’s not apprehension,” you told him, eyes coming up to meet the back of his head since he wasn’t looking at you. “Just concern, that’s all.”

“That’s all?” Your Master questioned. The second that his foot came up to the top of the stairs, his figure turned around and faced you, those bold, blue eyes of his racing to meet your own. “If you have any doubts about anything, tell me, I am your Master after all.”

That’s exactly that problem, you thought to yourself, making sure that your mental shields were up to guard it. That was the last thing that you needed, for him to know the things that you wished to push down into the darkest depths of your mind. That was the Jedi way, after all, keep all those emotions that were considered dangerous and a path to the dark side in a little cage in your mind and throw away the key. The thought of simply just being with him here alone made your brain almost electrify yourself, thinking about all the possibilities of slipping up and revealing all your emotions towards your Master directly to him. It was something to fear, and yet you were not allowed to fear.

You offered him the fakest smile that you could muster, saying, “Yes, Master, I’m alright. Let’s just get inside, it’s almost dark.” The setting sun was directly to your back, illuminating him in front of you like he was something to be marvelled at. And to your defense, Anakin Skywalker was definitely something to be marvelled at. His chiseled cheeks only looked more distinguished in the golden light, along with his dark brown hair that seemed to catch it just right. It made you feel weak in the knees, these thoughts of him, and you knew it was wrong to think of him in such ways - but you just couldn’t stop. Every time you tried to vilify him in your mind, another reason why you should love popped right back up in its place. It was a deadly cycle that you have shamelessly fallen victim to, and there was nothing that you could do to stop it or further this attraction. It was forbidden.

The moment that you stepped into the building, a sigh left your lips, eyes taking in all your surroundings. It was marvellous. There were marbled stone floors that were covered in rugs in some places, plush couches in the middle of the room, and off to the side were the counters of the kitchen, all looking as if no one had ever stepped foot in here. Suddenly you felt out of place here, like you weren’t good enough to live in such a lavish way. After all, your temple rooms were nothing compared to this. They were bland, sandy and brown colors everywhere. Only a dresser with a small mirror and a bed were in it. Yet here, there were different hues of reds, greens, and blues, tables and chairs and fancy lamps, and plants that added almost another dimension to the already breathtaking house.

“It’s - It’s,” You started, not able to find the correct words for what you were trying to say.

Luckily, Anakin finished your sentence, “Breathtaking. It’s breathtaking.”

You turned to look back at him, taking in his features for just a moment more.

Breathtaking, you thought to yourself. Yes, everything here is just breathtaking.

-

The soft silks of your bed sheets rolled between your fingers, tempting you to lay into bed and never get back up. How on Earth were you supposed to keep training when you were living like this? You could imagine yourself, not as a Jedi but as a normal person, eating wild berries as you sat on your bed near the balcony, looking towards the horizon and not having one single worry in that head of yours. It was tantalizing, the perfect picture in your mind of what you wished to be.

“You think too loud.”

You spun around to only be met with your Master, who was leaning against your doorframe effortlessly. A heat rose up to your cheeks, realizing that you hadn’t been taking the proper precautions of keeping those thoughts only to yourself. They were just little flings of ideas, nothing too brash that could get you into any trouble. “Sorry, Master, I shouldn’t have been thinking of slacking off when we have work to do in the coming days.”

A chuckle escaped his lips from deep within his chest. “It’s okay, Y/N, really, if I am being honest, I was thinking the same not too long ago.”

That was shocking news to you. You always thought that Anakin always wanted to be on the run, as if this trip that he had to take with you was annoying to him because he had to take time away from the front lines of the war. But it also made sense, even victorious war generals get tired sooner or later. Perhaps you didn’t know him as much as you thought that you did. This trip wasn’t just for you, it was for the both of you. It was good to go back to basics, remember the first feelings of the force and go from there.

“And here I was thinking that you didn’t want to be here,” You mused.

Your Master laughed at your jest. “No, quite the opposite. It’ll be nice to take a step back from life for a little bit and get some much needed rest.”

“I didn’t know that General Skywalker knew what rest meant,” You continued on your playful banter.

“I don’t,” He chuckled. “Maybe you can teach me?”

Now that sends you through a loop. You knew that he was probably just playing around with you, since you were teasing him a little bit. But that sentence was enough for that place in your mind to unlock all the fantasies you had in your head about him, the ones that you only dared touch when you knew you were alone and it was the dead of night so no was there to read them. You held yourself back from becoming flustered, knowing the moment you showed any signs of it that he would know that something was up. Instead you simply nodded your head, taking your eyes off of him to the balcony that was open to your room, seeing the way that the moonlight illuminated the waves of the water. “Perhaps after training tomorrow, we could go by the water?” You asked him.

“Sure thing,” Anakin said, turning on his heel and making his way out of your room. You took a sigh of relief at his absence, not because you wanted him gone, but because seeing him in such a leisurely setting was starting to get to your head. That dizzy feeling that got to your head every time you looked at him for too long started to subside, and you were left with only your thoughts as you put away some robes you packed for the stay.

The moment that your head hit the soft, plush pillow of your large bed, you were completely enveloped by sleep. In your dreams you only saw you and Anakin, happy and smiling in the gracious flower fields of Naboo, preparing meals together half dressed in the kitchen, and falling asleep in each other's arms. It was so real and lifelike that when you woke up in the morning, you felt as if you had awoken from an alternate universe.

-

Anakin didn’t know what he was doing.

Of course he was excited to be able to take a break from the long, withheld war between the Republic and the Separatists, but at the same time he knew that being alone with you was going to be a struggle for him. Anakin loved to train you, he really did. You were a loyal Padawan to the Order and was eager to learn the ways of the Force by his instruction. He knew the moment that he saw you that he wanted to train you. But he hadn’t prepared for him to become so emotionally attached to you, and it was tearing the young Jedi apart.

It was incredibly taboo of him to gain these feelings for two reasons. One: the Jedi were forbidden from attachment. And although Anakin hadn’t been known for following all the rules of the Jedi, he knew that attachment could possibly lead to dark places if he wasn’t careful. Two: you were his Padawan. It may have been different if you were within the same ranks as him, but you were not. He was supposed to be your teacher, and there was no way that he would take advantage of his position of power over you if you were not willing.

He, too, was having doubts about this vacation. Anakin almost asked his First in Command, Rex, if he would accompany the two Jedi for the week, but there was too much going on for the clone to take time off. So it was just you and him, alone in this house on this beautiful planet. Anakin was uneasy up until the moment he walked in your room last night when for a half a second he could sense your aura from the Force, and it was also uneasy about being with him alone. It was strange, since you were clearly hiding these thoughts from him with your mental shields whenever you were around him. But the moment he left you alone, those shields came down.

“Don’t think about keeping yourself up, the Force will do that on it’s own as long as you keep the connection with it. Focus on the rocks,” Anakin told you, walking around you in circles as you were in a handstand, mentally bringing up some rocks off the ground and stacking them off to your side. This was generally a lesson that a youngling would be given, though it was a good mental exercise. And in Anakin’s opinion: it was way better than meditating. “Feel it flow through you, allow it to take you over and become one with it.” These were the same things that Master Obi-Wan had taught him.

It was a bright, sunny day. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky as the time reached a little bit past noon. Training outside in the fields of Naboo were easier than doing so at the Jedi Temple, considering there was more nature that was akin to all aspects of the force. And the sun felt good on both of your skin, smelling the natural air that had a fluorescent scent to it rather than the smog and industrial life of Coruscant.

Your muscles were beginning to strain from underneath you as your head tilted to the side, watching all the rocks fall into place to your left. Even though the Force provided much needed relief on your arms, they were beginning to let out. There was one more rock for you to move and it was the smallest one, a tiny little pebble that needed to go on the top. It was such a small mass, yet with all of this mental and physical strain, it felt like a boulder to move across the air slowly with your mind. All you wanted was for Master Skywalker to feel proud of you. You wanted to see that smile on his face as you lifted that last pebble up and was allowed to finish your studies for the day.

The more you concentrated, the more you could feel the Force flow right through you. It could be felt in the tingling of your palms, sending vibrations towards the center of your chest while your blood flowed. Almost more importantly, you could feel Anakin’s eyes on you, waiting patiently for you to make your next move. Slowly, but surely, the little pebble made its way towards the top of the stacked rocks. Your eyes widened with joy, but immediately squinted back up when it shook a tiny bit. The moment that the bottom of it hit the top, you released your much concentrated attachment with the Force, and allowed yourself to fall seamlessly to the ground. The blood rushed back to your head, making your eyes darken to adjust. Once you could see again, you saw Anakin standing over you, that grin you had looked forward to seeing on his face.

“Not bad, Padawan,” He said in an appealing tone, extending a hand to help you up to your feet. You were quick to take it, ignoring the way that your heart soared as your skin touched against his skin. “We should go back to the house.” He almost turned and began walking away, but you scrunch your nose up and kept his hand in a tight grip, prompting him to look right back at you with a confused look. “What’s up?”

“You promised we could go to the water afterwards,” You told him, hoping that you were jogging his memory from last night.

But you didn’t need to jog Anakin’s memory, because he had been thinking about it ever since you asked. Thinking about having to watch you submerge under the water and come back up, drops of clear blue dripping down your exposed shoulders, and keeping himself from doing something that he would most likely regret when you would reject him, scolding him for his thinking. He thought about the way he wanted to put his hands on your hips and pull you as close as you possibly could get to him, taking the opportunity to pepper kisses along your smooth skin. It killed him to think that you probably didn’t think the same way about him, it was going to goddamn tear him apart.

Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to go back on his promise to you. It was the least he could do after thinking such sinful things about you. Anakin’s gave you a nod and walked beside you on the short trail to the large lake. You could hear the water ripple towards the small shoreline, coming up and then receding back again in a timely fashion. You kicked off your shoes, deciding that your tank top and pants were okay to get wet, especially since you wouldn’t take the risk of undressing in front of Anakin. As much as the thought was tempting, you knew better than to test your luck. Anakin watched with intensity as you got into the water, going deep enough to where only the tops of your shoulders and up were exposed. Maker, he cursed himself, did you have to look so good barely doing anything?

You cocked your head to the side. “Well . . . are you going to get in or just stare at me?” You asked, immediately submerging yourself under the water to ignore what he had to say about your teasing. Your heart thumped profusely as you sat there under the water holding your breath. Anakin had been looking at you.

He mentally cursed himself once again, taking his shoes off and following you into the water. It did feel good, the water having an almost calming effect over him as he walked deeper in the lake. He looked around him, taking in the appearance of all the beautiful trees that lined up, beautiful fruit hanging off of the branches. Little flowers were along the bay, facing right towards him as if they were welcoming him to their home.

The sun spilled harsh rays along his skin, causing Anakin to dip his head down fully into the water. Once he came back up for air, his eyes shifted over to you, both of you holding a type of eye contact that you swore almost knocked your breath out. It was unlike anything you had ever experienced before, like he was looking right into your soul and you to his, a sense of desire burning a pit in your stomach. Feeling exposed, you shifted your gaze to the fish swimming in the water near you. You could still feel his eyes on you, in them holding truths that he wished to tell you, but being unable to put the words together to explain.

-

“There’s something that you’re not telling me.”

Your eyes opened at your Master’s voice and looked directly at him. You had been meditating on your bed before sleeping, knowing that you hadn’t gotten the necessary amount of meditating that you needed for the day. At the temple they usually kept you on some kind of schedule, though here with Anakin rules were a little - no, more loose than normal.

Anakin once again stood in your doorframe, like he wasn’t sure if he was allowed in, like he didn’t feel like he had a place stepping into your bedroom. You searched his face to gauge a feeling for what he was talking about, looking for hints of mischief or anger. There was nothing, his face was completely blank, almost too blank like he was hiding something from you.

You knew you had nothing to hide - or at least nothing that he should know about. “I don’t know what you mean, Master,” You replied, uncrossing your legs from their criss cross position and hugging them close to your chest. “Have I done something wrong?”

That answer seemed to not satisfy him, because for a moment something flickered in his eyes. “No, nothing like that,” He told you, furrowing his brows together and taking a tentative step closer into your room. “It’s just, I get this feeling when I’m around you. Your force signature . . . like something is just gnawing at you and I can’t stop thinking about it.”

Oh, you were screwed. Alarms blared in your mind, thinking about how you had let your thoughts run too much during this trip. All the worst outcomes of this came to your mind, like how he would laugh at your growing feelings towards him, how much you wanted him almost shamelessly. It made your stomach twist into several knots, wanting to bury yourself into a hole and never ever come out of it again.

Your face and the Force must’ve told it all, because he spoke again, saying, “There. Right there. I can feel it, Y/N. Just talk to me. What is going on?” Your bottom lip quivered, knowing that there was no way you were getting out of this. This was it. The day you had been dreading and hoping didn’t come. Everything was about to come crash down onto your life.

“I can’t,” You said in a low voice, shifting your weight to sit at the edge of the bed, putting your head into your hands and staring down at the plush carpet in an attempt to get away from his stare. Almost as if you thought if you looked away long enough, he would suddenly disappear.

“What do you mean ‘you can’t’? You’re my Padawan, you can tell me anything.”

Padawan. The title felt foreign in your mind now. It was something that you knew you couldn’t hold onto for much longer once the truth was out. You would be stripped of it and be a Jedi no more. The council would hear of your feelings and immediately expel you. Padawan. Padawan. Padawan. The more the word bounced around in your mind the more you felt tears welling up into your eyes.

And you didn’t mean to sound so harsh when you said it, but your hands were balling up into fists as you said, “That’s what’s wrong!” Your head tilted up, seeing that Anakin had walked closer to you, towering over your frame. His face showed confusion, not understanding what you were alluding to. He didn’t even have to say it, but his expression was saying explain.

How could you even begin?

You were wordless.

“Please . .  . I just want to help you,” Anakin told you, his hand coming to grab onto your forearm. The touch felt like hot coals on your body, scorching your soul. “I don’t like seeing you like this.” Which you knew translated to I don’t like not knowing how to fix it.

“It’s you,” You confessed. “I can’t stop thinking about you.”

For a moment, Anakin thought that he had stepped into some parallel universe. Or that this was some sort of prank let on by someone else. There was no way that this was happening, you were confessing. You had been thinking about him, probably as much as he was thinking about you. It felt as if the world had turned on its axis and was spinning the opposite direction.

You, on the other hand, was waiting for the words that never came. You expected him to immediately tell you that he was going to report you to the Council. And yet, he stood there, almost looking as dumbfounded as you did, maybe even more. This prompted you to stand up, his hand falling down and getting dangerously close to your own.

“I know . . .” You started again, seeing as he wasn’t going to say anything. “I know that it’s wrong, that I shouldn’t be thinking of you in the ways that I am. But I can’t stop, Anakin, you consume me.”

The usage of his name snapped him back to reality and out of his own spinning thoughts, and hearing it come from specifically your lips was not helping his frame of mind. It sounded . . . different coming from your mouth. Like you were saying it like a praise rather than just a passing phrase like most people did. He wanted you to say it over and over again, repeating it like a mantra you were to speak or you would die if you didn’t. His eyes flickered into your own and saw how scared you were of how he would react and how he was definitely not helping to settle your nerves.

In truth, he didn’t know how to handle this situation. After all, this was not a lesson that had been given to him and he was definitely not in the best place to tell you anything, since his emotions were starting to cloud his judgement and all he could think was how he wished to tell you he felt the same way.

You waited for his response, getting impatient and wanting to just get this over with. You were waiting for the words he was supposed to say.

But Anakin didn’t always do the things he was supposed to do.

“You and I both know that forming attachments isn’t allowed,” Anakin said. “And yet I can’t stop thinking about kissing you.”

A visible look of shock washed over your face, mouth opening slightly and eyes widening, heart pounding against your ribcage. His hand reached down and grabbed your own, fingertips softly touching the palm of your hand. This felt like a dream. Were you sure that you weren’t dreaming? No, this was definitely real. Anakin was in front of you for sure, confessing that he was feeling the exact same way.

Anakin tipped his head down to meet your own, his breath fanning along your face, making you shiver. Your breath hitched in your throat, his lips brushing against your own, almost like he was testing you. You could feel the tips of his hair tickling against your forehead, nose against nose. You were so close. The hand on your own was grasping now, pulling your body close to his. And the two of you sat there, lips millimeters close while each of your minds buzzed with the feeling of doing something so daring.

You felt yourself going mad, you couldn’t do it anymore. You couldn’t wait. All of your feelings erupted inside of your throat and suddenly you were kissing him, lips smashing against his own with no care in the world. You didn’t care about the Council, the Code . . . anything. All you cared about was Anakin, wanting as much of him that he was willing to give you.

You had never really kissed anyone before. There was a moment back when you were only ten and you were with another youngling, seeing one of the citizens of Coruscant kissing each other on the street. Interested in what they were doing, you and your friend kissed, thinking that it was weird and dismissing it. That had been your first kiss, a rather embarrassing one, but it was nothing compared to the way Anakin kissed you. He kissed you like there was a purpose to every single move of his muscles. He kissed you like you were forbidden fruit and he was starving.

His other hand came up to the back of your neck, tangling in your hair and keeping your face close to his. For just a moment his tongue slipped into your mouth and you made a small sound, butterflies swarming in your stomach. You tried to mimic what he was doing, going with your instincts and grasping onto his bicep, feeling the taut muscles under your touch.

Everything about yours and his actions were needy and hungry, wanting each other with such need that you had pushed down for so long. All of it seemed to come out of you like crashing waves. The kissing was nice, though after a while you needed more, you were dying for more of him. Please, Anakin, you thought.

What do you want, Padawan? He asked through his thoughts to you, hand coming to caress your face to look down at you. You looked into those big, blue eyes of his that never ceased to awaken something within you.

“You, Anakin, I want you,” You whispered to him, as if someone was going to hear if you talked too loud. “Please.” You thought that you probably sounded like someone desperate, and in a way you were, you had waited for this forever and had convinced yourself that it would never happen. But he thought the exact opposite, he marvelled in the way that you looked at him, wanting to show you how much you truly meant to him. The attraction and lust was there, intermingled with something more that neither of you dared to acknowledge.

He didn’t hesitate to give you what you wanted, slowly inching you towards the bed and helping you rest on your back, the silk sheets against the back of your arms and neck. Anakin was quick to follow, climbing on top of you and connecting his lips onto the skin right below your jaw. His lips were soft like snowflakes falling onto your skin, creating a masterpiece on your skin like you were his canvas. It all felt too good, the Force heightening the sensations to an almost unbearable amount. It sent shockwaves to your core, igniting a feeling you often only felt during the late hours of the night.

Seeing how well your body responded to him, well, almost drove Anakin crazy. You were so willing, so ready for him that his mind became cloudy, the only thing he could make out was his thoughts of you. Nothing about the war, the Council, the fact that he was your Master . . . It all blew away with the wind. His lips trailed down from your jaw to your neck, paying extra attention to the places that made you breath out more than the others. Your hands found their respective place in his hair, feeling the softness of the dirty blonde curls between your fingers.

Your clothes suddenly felt foreign on your body, you wanted them off, you wanted his off so that you could see all of him. He seemed to hear your thoughts, humming against your skin and pulling away, pressing a soft, firm kiss to your lips and helping you get out of them, and in turn you helped him get out of his.

Anakin’s body was like nothing you imagined. He was breathtaking. You knew that he had a nice body because of all the training and countless amounts of physical strain he has been through, but looking at those abs that he had, along with the sun kissed skin he had, you felt your throat close up, feeling inferior to what he looked like. “You’re beautiful, Y/N,” He spoke to your thoughts. “Don’t ever think that you’re not.” And you believed him.

His hands came to your hips, fingers toying with the fabric of your underwear that was the only thing blocking him from seeing you fully. His eyes scanned you, taking in the sheer and utter beauty before him. He wanted to kiss, lick, and nip on every single inch of skin on you. He wanted to learn each and every single curve, hear every story behind your scars, and know just what touches would have you squirming from underneath him.

No one has seen you this exposed before. You didn’t know whether or not to feel embarrassed, because he seemed to know what he was doing. It was not that you had taken the Jedi code to heart, but you simply hadn’t known anyone that you found enough to take that last piece of innocence from you - no one except Master Skywalker. And only now did you actually realize what was going to happen.

Your whole body felt hot, needing to feel the release that was beginning to build up from all of his kisses and your imagination running its course. “Anakin,” You breathed out, not knowing how to form into words what you wanted from him. Of course he knew, he could feel your force signature morph into something almost sinful, something he was sure he was emitting himself. After all, neither of you were hiding anything anymore. He knew exactly what he was going to do to you so that he could hear the plethora of moans that he knew you had just for him, wanting to hear his name come off of your lips in pleasure.

His head ducked down and kissed your hipbone, fingers hooking under your underwear and slowly sliding them off. Your eyes stayed on his actions, mouth forming into an ‘O’ when you realized what he was going to do. He was going to use his mouth on you. These were only things that you thought in your deepest, darkest fantasies, like he had reached into those parts of your mind and did exactly what you wanted.

As if Anakin was just tempting you, he pressed another slow kiss to the inside of your thigh and then did the same thing to the other side. Your hips lifted up only slightly, showing him that you couldn’t wait much longer. A chuckle left him, eyes reaching your own and saying, “Eager?” You weren’t even ashamed when you shook your head, keeping eye contact with him as he licked a bold stripe right up your slit. It felt as if an earthquake hit your body, your back arching and hands gripping onto his hair.

He hummed against you, liking the way that you responded to his actions. If he had it his way, he would sit here with you like this for hours on end, bringing you up to that high place again and again until you were a wrecked mess before him. It made him simply go crazy to think that he was the first person to ever do this to you, that he would be the first of anyone to hear those moans and profanities that slipped from your cherry kissed lips. Anakin’s own thoughts made him groan out, a noise that you played on repeat in your mind as your eyes screwed closed.

Your thighs quivered beside his face, attempting to squeeze shut so that you could keep him there forever. But his hands came and held them in place, fingers digging into your muscles that gave in to his touch like it was nothing. You were putty in his hands, the only movement you had was your hands pulling on his hair and the arch of your back while he lapped his tongue against you with no mercy.

“Stay still,” He told you, pulling away for a moment to lick what was left of you on his lips. You nodded, chest heaving and heart sinking at the loss of contact. But Anakin didn’t leave for long, his mouth on your clit accompanied with one of his fingers circling your entrance. You nearly lost it when he dipped his middle finger in experimentally, gauging your reaction. You could feel the coil in your stomach start to tighten, which only amplified once his finger pushed into you all the way.

You didn’t even attempt to try and censor the obscenities that came out of your mouth, mixed in rhyme with his name. Anakin. Anakin. Anakin. It was the only word that felt real in your mind.

You waited for that final jump towards a euphoric end, but it never came. Instead Anakin pulled away from you and his fingers left, making you feel uneasily empty. Opening your eyes, you saw that he was pulling down his boxers, taking his cock into his hands and watching as you almost became slack jawed - realizing what was about to happen. A moment of worry nestled its way into your mind, making your heart thump. If anyone was to find out, you would surely not be accepted back into the Order. You would never be able to have Anakin again. Jedi were not to fear, and yet here you were, fearing that you would lose the one person that you cared about - the only one you knew cared about you.

It was your moment to choose. You knew that if you backed out, at least you would be able to work under him still and not have his affections. It would be better than never seeing him again. And yet, you couldn’t see your life without him, all of him. Not just the side that was your Master.

Anakin sensed your worry, taking your chin in his hands so that you looked up at him. “Are you sure?” He asked you, not wanting to move forward before you were ready. And God, were you ready.

And with all the courage that you mustered up, you gave him a small smile and said, “Yes.” You felt like you were flinging yourself off of some sort of cliff, or even more sinfully feeling like you were Persephone, cutting up her own slice of pomegranate and looking right into Hades eyes as she tasted the fruit, securing your fate that you would stay with him. You would stay with Anakin, even if it was only for this night.

He nestled between your legs and you could feel his tip press against your entrance. Air was caught in your lungs, sitting up on your elbows so that you could see as he eased himself into you. A sting of pain and a subtle feeling of pleasure was seated inside of you, watching as his cock be enveloped by you inch by inch. Anakin hissed at the feeling, you were so goddamn tight and he never wanted to stop from being inside of you. Once all of him was inside, he leaned over so his head was in the crook of your neck, pressing a kiss to your searing skin as you adjusted to him bottoming out.

You urged him to continue, thinking that the discomfort would soon go away with time. And you were eager to get all of him that you could, temptation coming forward instead of reason. He pulled out all the way then eased himself back in, continuing the slower pace and watching your reaction before him, your hands reaching to his back and finding their place there. One of his hands kept your legs open, taking you by your thigh and hoisting it up.

It took all that he could muster to not just ram into you, the want starting to cloud his judgment. The Force felt as if it was pushing both you and him towards each other, the connection almost driving each of you crazy. “You feel . . .” He started. “You feel so good.” That alone, along with the raspiness in his voice, made a fire erupt in your stomach. You sighed in response, eyes fluttering closed once again.

And then, much to his surprise, you whispered, “Go faster, Anakin.” You needed him so bad you felt like you were going to explode, lust enveloping the both of you and intertwining with your Force energies.

He didn’t need to be told twice, and he gripped onto the leg he lifted up, beginning a slightly faster rhythm that had you arching your neck and eyes rolling to the back of your head. Anakin was so big, stretching you out in just the right way that had you almost keeling over if he hadn’t had such a tight grip on you. Your one leg wrapped along his waist, heel digging into his back while his pace increased.

This angle he had you in made you yelp and moan shamelessly, not caring if people all the way in the capital could hear you as you yelled his name like a prayer. His pace finally became a fast rhythm and you found comfort in being to finally feel nothing but pleasure with every deep stroke he made.

In this place, it was only you and him. Like you were in your own little place of paradise where you could explore each other in every way. There was nothing that could take this moment from you or him, this moment would forever be engraved in your mind for many years to come, remembering the way that he moaned out your name and the way he looked when you opened your eyes to peek at his face. His brows were furrowed, sweat beading on his forehead and mouth spilled open saying nothing but your name.

He made you feel so good, so euphoric that the fire grew and grew, becoming a wildfire raging inside of you. And you looked so heavenly to him, the way that your eyes only looked at him, breasts bouncing with every harsh thrust he gave you. You took him so well, like you were made for only him. His hips brushed against your own, hand coming up to caress your cheek, forcing you to look at him in the eyes.

You weren’t going to last much longer. Not with the way that he was pounding into you with sheer force you didn’t know was possible until now. But you didn’t want this to end, you never wanted this to end in fear that things would go back to the way they were before. You would have to try and forget that this ever happened. It wasn’t something you wanted to do and didn’t even know if you had the strength to do it. After this moment both of you would be connected.

You made a guttural noise, teetering over the edge of what felt like a wave of bliss. This was it, there was no way that you could keep yourself from it now. It only took a singular deep stroke of his cock to send you right over the edge, your back arching and body spasming, his name rolling off of your tongue in the most sinful way you have ever said it before. Your hands gripped for any part of him that you could reach, groping his muscles to keep him close to you. He didn’t stop moving inside of you, making you ride it out even harder as he chased his own high.

You were so sensitive as he fucked into you, giving you no mercy. He groaned as you came, watching the way that your eyes screwed shut and mouth opening in as you sucked in harsh breaths. You could feel his cock twitch inside of you and you knew that he was close, wondering if he was going to cum inside of you or pull out before he did. He did the latter, taking one more deep stroke before pulling out. Anakin was about to start stroking himself with his hand but you rushed with your own to meet him there, using your own and pumping a few times.

A string of profanities came from his lips as he came, white hot liquid spurting onto your stomach, dripping like beads coating your skin. He had no shame as he shuddered, muscles flexing with every passing second. He drank in your body, seeing how wet you were for him, how soft your hand was on his cock, how much he longed to see you like this more times before you and him left back for the war. And soon enough he was finished, the only thing between both of you was both of your panting breaths.

Anakin moved to grab something on the floor, realizing that it was the shirt he had on before and moving to wipe your stomach off, dropping it to the floor and coming to lay down next to you. You winced for a moment as you moved to look at him, his own eyes staring at the ceiling. You were scared of what was to come next, if there was anything that was supposed to come next. You knew that the two of you couldn’t be together, at least openly, though it was even risky to continue doing something like this in private.

“Anakin,” You called out to him, forcing him to look at you. “What will happen next?”

“I don’t know, Y/N, I don’t know,” He responded. All he knew was that he wanted you, again and again. In the domestic moments and in the explicit ones like before. You were so tantalizing, and he realized now that because he had tasted the forbidden fruit that was you, he would never be able to stop. There was simply no way that he would be able to conceal his want for you from you anymore.

You waited for his answer, knowing that it would probably be one you didn’t want to hear. But for the second time this evening, Anakin surprised you again.

He leaned over and kissed you.

And you knew his answer from that.

[ravensbug]

Self-Doubt

Fandom: Legend of Korra

Ship: Lin Beifong x Reader

Request: No

Prompt: No

Word Count: 1337

A/N: Taking a well-needed break from writing a research paper to do this. Just 6 am thoughts of drunk Lin thanks to some wonderful art by @nerdycanible1 Go check them out they’re an absolutely amazing artist and writer!!

Summary: You’re relaxing in bed reading a book when Lin comes home late at night. When she comes in and just falls down on the bed you finally can smell the alcohol that she’s probably been drinking for hours. She eventually starts speaking the thoughts in her head and you reassure her that all these bad things she’s saying about herself aren’t true.

It was late at night and Lin still hadn’t come home. A normal occurrence for the middle of the week, except this was a Saturday and Lin had gone out 8 hours ago. You couldn’t remember if she said when she was going to be back, but there was worry in your mind the longer she wasn’t home.

You tried to distract yourself with the book you were reading but it didn’t help much. You were in one of the more filler-type chapters and found yourself constantly looking out the bedroom door, listening for the turning of the lock that continued to remain silent. You continued to read the words on the page although you didn’t really grasp what you were reading, your mind in a different place.

Lin stumbled up the stairs towards her apartment, vision blurry and steps slow. She’s almost tripped on the stairs four times now on her way up and the thought that she was an idiot for tripping up the stairs made her grumble. She was leaning against the wall for support when she finally got to her apartment and tried to get her keys out. Having a hard time figuring out which one was correct she just used her metalbending to open the door instead, letting it swing open in front of her.

You heard the turn of the lock, although it didn’t sound as solid as a key being used, so you knew Lin had used her metalbending to open the door. You gently put the bookmark in where you had your book opened to even though you knew you would backtrack the next time you picked it up.

You looked down the hall and into the small living room to see Lin stumbling along in the dark. A normal occurrence for anyone else in the dark but she had seismic sense and you knew that. Your heart dropped in an instant when you thought that she might be injured. Thankfully you saw no injuries when walked into the light of your shared bedroom. She groaned and covered her eyes from the light and you suddenly knew why she was acting weird. She was drunk as all hell.

Lin practically fell on the bed with another groan and you turned off the light on her nightstand leaving yours still on. You stayed silent as Lin laid there staring at the ceiling. You thought that she would have fallen asleep, but she was still wide awake and her brain was thinking of anything but kind things about herself.

In the silence, you analyzed what Lin looked like. She looked beyond tired that’s for sure. Her hair was slightly messy and her shirt was even more so. Her shirt was also unbuttoned all the way and you could see her bare skin underneath.

“Why am I still chief?” Lin blurted out. You were spooked for a moment when she finally spoke. 

“Lin…” You spoke her name softly. You also didn’t answer her question so she asked again.

“Tell me why I still have this job? I’m certainly not good at it.” Lin didn’t make eye contact with you as she spoke again.

“Lin! You’re a better Chief of Police than your mother was and that’s already saying a lot, to begin with.”

“How? Dozens of my officers lost their bending to Amon because I was careless about sending them out.” It’s like this was an argument to her, and you really didn’t want to start yelling at each other.

“Those men knew what they were getting into. It’s not your fault.” You knew no matter how many times anyone said that Lin would always blame herself for her officers losing their bending.

“What about when I lost my bending? Why do I still deserve it now? I haven’t been able to protect everyone with it.” 

“Do not make what you did seem useless. You saved Tenzin and his family even after all he put you through. That’s called being selfless, Lin. You do it all the time and everyone is thankful for you.”

Lin scoffed at your reply. “If everyone is so thankful then why did my own sister scar me for life?” Oh, she was going deep now. You knew that meant she’d been drinking for hours.

“Lin please, what Su did was out of anger and you two have been working things out. You know she feels remorse for scaring you.” Your hands were on her shoulders now, rubbing them slowly to provide a comforting presence to her.

“Yeah, but mom certainly doesn’t feel bad for leaving.” You could see tears in Lin’s eyes but she still refused to look at you.

“Your mother didn’t care about you or Su in the way she should have. You need to stop looking to her for approval or as an example.” Now you were getting angry because it was like all the things you two had talked about together and worked through suddenly meant nothing to her and all her walls had gone back up.

“Lin, love, please look at me,” you asked. Your hands were now at the sides of her head as she finally moved her eyes to look at you. You had moved closer to her so you were at her side while she was lying down on the bed.

“I still don’t understand why you’re-” You stopped her before she could finish. You straddled her waist and your lips crashed into hers, finally tasted the alcohol that you’d been smelling on her. It was strong and overwhelming but you continued to kiss her. One of your hands was holding her hair and you stopped kissing her to get some breath. “Shut up, Lin,” you mumbled, still holding onto her.

“But after everything I’ve been through, the countless times I’ve had my life on the line, why?” A tear escaped her right eye and you wiped it away quickly. You gave her another kiss before you spoke again.

“Because you are the most amazing person ever.” you gave her a quick kiss on her forehead, “And if you keep arguing with me I’m just,” another kiss on her nose, “going,” another on her left cheek, ”to keep,” another on her scars, “kissing,” another on her neck, “you,” a final kiss on her lips again.

“I love you so much Lin Beifong. Don’t you forget it.” You held her face in your hands. Lin reached and took a hold of both your hands and gave each one a quick kiss.

“I love you too,” she smiled. You saw the blush creep on her face and you couldn’t help but smirk.

“What?” she asked like she didn’t know she was blushing.

“You’re blushing, love. Don’t worry I think it’s cute,” you smiled.

“I am not cute!” she pouted.

“Oh, my bad. The mighty Lin Beifong, Chief of Police, and master metal bender can’t be called cute by her wife.” Her blush only got worse and she mumbled something you couldn’t quite hear.

“What was that, love?” you asked.

“I said only you can call me cute,” she mumbled louder so you could hear her.

“Well, that’s good. But now we need to both get some sleep. It’s almost 3 am.”

“I’ve stayed up later before,” Lin protested.

“And this is a weekend and we both deserve to relax. It’s time for bed Lin.” You were a bit stern, but you knew Lin was going to have a horrible hangover so the sooner she went to bed the better.

“Get changed though, you smell like alcohol.” You stopped her before she started to doze off.

She complained the entire time while getting changed into sleepwear until she was back in bed with you. You turned your nightstand light off and quickly got comfortable in bed. You felt Lin’s arms wrap around you and pull you close against her as you both fell asleep. You would always love Lin, no matter how many times you had to do these conversations with her.

[kanaesparadise]

omg it's my first time here- can you make an akali x reader where she goes on a rampage after we get hurt cause the fEels

That's been really long. Only 2665 words and that's it...

COMIC SPOILERS ALERT

Ever since Shen caught Zed, he had been interrogating him and trying to get Zed to talk about his father's death. He thought Zed had killed his father and seemed to take his anger out on him.

Of course, that didn't really matter to you.

You and Akali left Kinkou a long time ago. Because you found Kinkou's methods absurd and useless. You and Akali have decided that you can protect Ionia in your own way. You were only getting information from Shen and following the plan you and Akali had made in your own mind. You had learned that Jhin had come to Piltover after the massacres in Ionia, so you and Akali boarded a ship to Piltover. Also, Akali left Shen a small note, but didn't say where she was going.

He's already smart enough to more or less guess where you're going.

While you were walking to the ship's deck, Akali was watching people behind you for suspicious-looking people. "Come on, Akali, don't you trust me?" She came up to you, dropped her backpack on the ground, put her hands on the ship's railings and looked out to sea, "Of course I do, but I don't want anything to happen to you."

You smiled at Akali and hugged her shoulders. "Don't worry, I'm overly careful! Besides, this is Ionia, and no one knows this place better than you or me. I'll be more careful in Piltover for sure." You laughed when you saw Akali's cheeks turn red and you let her go and looked at the sea with her "I'm sure we'll find 'him'"

-------------------------------Timeskip---------------------------------- While disembarking at a port in Piltover called Anchorage, Akali was studying the people around. While you were looking at the merchants around, you saw a trader. "Hey Akali, there's a trader over there. Maybe we should get something like a map from him."

Akali took her eyes off the people and looked at the trader you pointed to. She shook his head positively and started walking towards the trader's counter. As Akali asked the trader something in Ionian, she sighed when she saw that he did not understand something. "Akali, I think the trader is from Noxus. I can read and understand the language the Noxians, but I can't speak."

"It's okay, I'll handle it." Akali put her hand on her chin for a second, thinking about what to say, and turned to the trader

("I want to buy one of those maps, how much would you give it?")

("Noxian, you know?")

("Yes, I can speak Noxian.")

Akali paid the trader's asking price, took the map, and started walking with you. She gave you the map for you to look at. "Wow, I didn't expect them to also plot the roads to Zaun. I know they see it as their black mark."

"I don't think it's on every map because that trader got good money from me. For a moment I thought he was cheating on me." Y

ou laughed at Akali and continued to study the map, "Akali, where exactly are we supposed to go?"

"To Zaun. People over there know something about that masked man for sure." They had bribed a guard outside a bar in Zaun to find out if anyone here knew about the masked man. You and Akali had to enter this heavily liquor-smelling place when the guard said that the bartender inside knew something about it.

"How could the barmen know?"

"Usually in places like this, bartenders know a lot. Lots of people come to them for drinks and they learn something unintentionally."

After listening to what she had to say, you continued to study the map. At that time, Akali was talking to the bartender, and before you knew what was going on, the bartender had taken out the Tellstones game pieces and placed them on the bar. You were sitting in a chair and watching them play.

Tellstones was a simple game, but the best bluffer won. And Akali was pretty good at it. She proved herself once again by winning the game.

("I shouldn't have played Tellstones against an Ionian...")

("Tell me, what do you know about the masked man?")

("The 'Performances' serve some kind of transport group. The man scared a lot of merchant households.")

("Why is that?")

("All the merchant houses he attacked were exporting weapons to Ionia. The only group still working was House Ferros")

("House Ferros? What are they doing?")

("The spy of House Ferros has assembled an assassination team. They're looking for him in Zaun, in a neighborhood called Mistfloor.")

You knew the masked man was killing people under the name of 'art', you tapped Akali's shoulder "Ask the man if there is a theater zone, maybe he is there." After Akali turned and listened to you, she smiled, "Clever, I was just about to say let's go."

When she turned to the bartender and asked if there was a theater district, he replied that the theater was on the Mistfloor, which he had just mentioned. Akali thanked the man and took your arm while you were looking at the map and walked out of the bar with you. You were walking backwards as Akali got your arm backwards “Hey, I would have left the map if you had waited a while!”

"If it were up to you, you would look at that map all day."

"Don't worry, I'm more interested in watching you." You glanced at Akali from the corner of your eye as you looked at the map, a suggestive smile on your face. Akali understood what you were saying when she looked at your suggestive smile, and she suddenly panicked

"I didn't say I wanted something like that! It's just for...well...well..."

As you walked, you tilted your head forward and looked at Akali. Her cheeks were flushed and frozen. She shook her head quickly to regain herself. She folded her arms across her chest and continued walking without looking at you. "If you could focus on our work, you would be more careful here?"

You smiled at Akali from behind and followed her. "I already do."

You caught up to her and continued walking next to her. You stopped in a street. When Akali realizes that you are not walking, she turns to look at you, "What's the matter (Y/N)?"

"I don't know where we're going from here, we're at the Mistfloor now. We'd better ask someone if there's a theater around. Someone in that group of friends knows. They seem like locals."

Akali went to them and said that if any of them knew a theater that was here, she would pay good money to anyone who knew. She wasn't normally so money oriented, but money was everything to people in Piltover and Zaun. You were asking trees to have a house in Ionia, and now you have one! As long as you were kind to the trees, they were always your friend. You really loved your country and you certainly wouldn't want to live in a place like Piltover.

You smiled at the boy when Akali came in with a young boy. He complimented you in noxian, you just smiled because you understood but couldn't speak. Akali scowled when she saw you smiling at the boy, "Really, did you smile at this brat?"

"What is it? He just complimented." Akali rolled her eyes and told the boy to show the way without talking too much. After walking for a while, he took you to a dilapidated theater.

("Is this here?")

("Yes. He's a freak. He clashed with House Ferros here a week ago. They pulled bodies out of the place for days.")

("Wow, what happened here?") As Akali looked around you thought there was someone else here. It just didn't show itself. The boy continued to talk to Akali as she walked towards the door ("That's beyond me, ma'am. I don't know. I don't want to know either. Your money is sweet, but I can't risk it any more.)

You were waving to the boy as he was walking out of the theater. While he was waving at you, Akali took your arm backwards and started pulling you. When you turn to Akali and puff your cheeks at her and descend a staircase that leads down from the floor of the theater stage. There was someone else watching you at that time. It was an absolutely awful place when you went downstairs with Akali. You could hear something collapsing all the time, and you could have sworn someone was inside with you. You climbed onto the stage standing above and looked around from above.

You didn't want to go any further, you were definitely walking into a trap with Akali. "Akali, I swear to you, there's someone else here besides us."

"That's the good news, so here it is."

"No, it's not good news! You're going to fall into the trap-" You took a step to get off the stage when you heard the stage crackle below you, but it was too late. You walked to the middle of the stage in the air and the stage was very long. You were out of breath as your back hit the ground so hard, and you couldn't move when you saw the boards falling on you. You couldn't even scream out of pain because you were out of breath. When Akali heard a loud noise, she turned around and looked in the direction the sound had come from. He didn't expect to see you stuck under the boards. As she was about to come to get you out of there, she was distracted by a machine running on her right, blowing air towards Akali.

A mist had formed from the dust lifted by the air and he could not see you. He could more or less see someone walking towards him through the mists. "You're like a leaf in a storm, Akali, dancing aimlessly and pointlessly in the wind. You both came here unwittingly to 'transform'."

Akali didn't really care what the masked man was saying, just focused on you. However, he continued to speak. "I will transform you both, Akali, I will add meaning to your poor lives with my art, I will make you both beautiful. And with your death, your transformation will be complete."

"Damn, that's not good at all!" Akali had already noticed the spears coming out of the air-breathing machine, and had somehow escaped them all. Just as a mist was about to form on the ground, the air-breathing machine on the other side had already dispersed the fog. While trying to evade the masked man's hits at the same time, the air-blasting machine to Akali's right suddenly exploded. The impact of the blast hit Akali hard against the railings.

When she looked up at the masked man, he had a knife in his hand and was staring at you. "I've watched you Akali, I know that daggers are one of your favorite weapons. But as a former knife artist I must say your technique is simple and boring. It doesn't offer the brutality that true art needs."

He came in front of your unconscious body and turned to Akali "Come on, now let's do something 'nice' for (Y/N) together."

----------------------------Timeskip again--------------------------------

When Akali opened her eyes, she realized that her hands were hanging from the fallen tree she had seen before. When she lowered her head a little, she realized that you were still under the boards.

"Fuck it, it's all my fault."

Akali closed her eyes in the dense light from above. When she opened his eyes, the masked man was standing on a stand with hooks suspended in the air, staring at Shen. Akali felt like her ears were ringing, Zed's attempt to attack the masked man from above had failed. He threw his shurikens towards him, but the man easily dodges them.

Actually, Zed didn't throw them at the man, he threw them to cut the ropes that Akali was tied to. He hadn't even noticed in the confusion that Akali's ropes were cut and she had jumped down.

It didn't take long for the man to secure Shen and Zed with hooks, but he threw Zed onto the boards you were under. As you screamed in pain, Zed recognized you by your voice. You had the opportunity to talk to him long ago and you had respect for each other, until he left Kinkou in such a bad way.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)!"

"Shut up! I'm hurting all over. I'm sure you're behind these things, Usan!"

"I swear it's not my fault this time, it never was!" Akali jumped at him as the masked man aimed a gun at Shen.

"You forgot me, you idiot!" Akali was punching the man in the face that was on top of him. "Let's forget about that too!" She punched the man in the face until he couldn't stand up, as if she was getting revenge for what he had done to you. Akali knew very well that this man had taken your family away from you. She seemed to torment him both for hurting you here and for what he did to your family.

Finally she picked up his gun from the ground and pointed it at him, "Let's see if I can make your face more beautiful, you sick!"

Just as Akali was about to fire, Shen called out to her from afar, "Akali, no!" Taking advantage of Akali's momentary pause, Zed pushed her aside, causing the gun to fall.

This time, Zed was on top of the man. "I promised Shen I'd catch you alive 'Jhin', my honor prevents me from killing you. But I'd be worse off killing you. Tell me how you escaped from Tuula prison!"

"Zed, I didn't run. You know that."

"Who set you free?!"

"No, Zed, I'm sorry, but I won't tell you this. Besides, you already know who set me free. You knew it all along. Think of it this way, Zed, I've been released. But so… you were released too."

Not wanting to listen to him anymore, Zed threw it facedown in front of Shen. "Take it, our deal is done!"

"His work is done, but not ours, Zed!"

As Zed quickly jumped off the building, Shen shouted after him, "Zed! Where are you going, Zed?!"

Akali was trying to get you out of the rubble, ignoring them. Shen sighed and came over to you and took the boards off you with Akali. You had a lot of cuts made by the board on your body. Also, the wounds deepened as Zed fell on top of you. Akali cleaned and tied up your deepest wounds with a cloth Shen provided. When you look at her face, she looks angry and sad at the same time. She was more angry with herself. She blamed herself for letting this happen to you.

At that time, Shen had tied Jhin, aka the masked man, out of the theater to take him to the prison where he belonged.

You didn't want Akali to feel guilty, it was your fault too.

"Akali."

She had heard you calling out to her, but she didn't have the courage to look at you. You took Akali's face in your hands and lifted her head.

"Akali, you don't have to blame yourself. When we got here we risked everything, and that was one of the possibilities. Also, look, I'm still alive and survived with minor abrasions"

"By minor abrasions, do you mean being buried under the rubble? It's all my-"

You connected your lips to her when you realized that she would blame herself more. Before Akali could react, you were about to walk away from her, but this time she started kissing you.

Akali hugged you when you both left to breathe. You could tell she was crying by the wetness of your shoulder. She was very quiet and didn't say anything. Only when you listened carefully could you notice that she was suddenly breathing while crying. It was near impossible to see her cry, and that's how you saw her again after a long time. You hugged her and dropped yourself to the floor and looked at the ceiling of the theater;

"I love you too, Akali."

[nadacwriter]

so i’m obsessed with your Luna headcanon

do you have any other TOH ones to share?

MORE headcanons, you say?

I could go on for literal pages, without even getting into my AU for the show. Talking about all of the major ones would be too much for here.

So we're gonna stick with one subject and just focus in hard on it. That subject?

VINEY.

We're talking about Viney because a lot of people only talk about her in terms of shipping, which I don't really like. Sure I like shipping but I'm concerned that Viney's character is at risk of being 'the girl who kisses Emira'.

It's either Viney, or a longwinded post about the cultural meaning of ear piercings to residents of the Boiling Isles and why Viney's fish hook earring makes a lot of sense.

So let's dive in to: Red's esoteric, bad headcanons about a character who most likely won't appear in the show again!

please note that these are very niche and probably bad. What, me? Projecting my experiences onto a cartoon character? I would NEVER!

First of all, mood music. We're going with some Sufjan Stevens today, because I am going to be a little bit mean.

-Viney never met her real parents. They died when she was rather young, and she wasn't able to meet them. She doesn't mind that fact, to be honest; she got a pretty great parent, all things considered.

-That parent, by the way, is namd Rowan Gormoth, who, at the tender age of 19, found Viney on the doorstep of his dorm building at the emperor's coven.

-Being the child of a single parent, a student no less, Viney wasn't exactly well off. She couldn't always get her hexside uniform replaced if it got damaged, sometimes she would have to walk home, she never had much of the cool stuff other kids had...

-But what she did have was a father with imperial coven experience...sure, he may have become Hexside's janitor, but Rowan Gormoth took that job as an ultimatum; he has no coven seal, and can do whatever magic he wants.

-So every year, for her birthday, Viney would always get a lemon cupcake with chocolate frosting (a favorite of hers) and learn a new spell. And these were no ordinary spells! An invisibility spell for her 6th, a minor teleport spell for her 7th, a sun abatement spell for her 8th...

-Viney absolutely ADORES learning, and tries to learn as much as she can. Math, science, art, but her FAVORITES are Animals and Healing. She loves to learn about those subjects in particular.

-Viney met up with Jerbo and Barcus (siblings...believe it or not...) and the three became fast friends. They all had an interest in learning, and in mixing tracks, which is looked down upon a bit less in middle school.

-In high school, the three were still friends, and things were looking up for Viney! Rowan got a promotion, the pair had a house now, and Viney was finding ways to sneak into the healing and beast keeping classes!

-...then she got caught. Originally, her charge was lower. She was gonna get let off with a warning. But then, as often happens, Odalia stepped in. --It's important to note that Emira and Viney had been...dating? at ths point? A more accurate term would be 'having romantic affairs', as it wasn't terribly consistent until after all this went down. Odalia, not wanting her daughter distracted, decided to 'remove the problem'.

-In turn, Rowan threatened to quit his job if Vney got expelled, and do you know how hard it is to find a replacement head of janitorial duties at a school where 'abominations' is a core class?

-...Viney got detention instead of expulsion. On her birthday, no less. She was heartbrken, and she was mad that her friends got all tied up in this. Blaming herself, she told Rowan she didnt want to learn a spell that year, she just wanted to be left alone...

-Rowan, though, IS a janitor. And so he knows every single room. In the whooooooole school.

-Rowan taught Vney how to get to the secret room of shortcuts, and in turn, Viney taught Jerbo and Barcus. The trio start using it to study all the time, even going so far as to copy homework from folks in certain classes. Emira, surprisingly, helps the trio a lot in this regard. The trio just remains...the trio. For a while. Just Viney, Barcus, and Jerbo for a whole few weeks, alone in the shortcut room. Until a weird 'hyoo-men' girl comes to school, and gets in trouble for mixing magic...

-Also, lastly, Viney's earring is supposed to be there. Witchlings often pierce their ears as a sense of identification and to show off. Viney got an ear piercing when she was 12, usually when they happen, but had nothing to put in there. So she found a fish hook, soaked it in cleaning solution and alcohol, and started wearing that.

[pluviophile-bookworm]

High School Musical: The Musical: The Series: The Rewatch pt.3

Ok, full disclosure: I should not be doing this right now. But I've been thinking about it since yesterday and, well, I reckon I can go over 1x4 and 5, and then move on to my actual work. So here we are. I'm really, really excited for these two, so without further ado, I'll dive right into:

1x4: It's hard to believe that I couldn't see... the majority of what happens in this episode when I first watched it

Why is Nini such a pro at making a scene with whoever her current boyfriend is in the middle of a public place? I mean, I get it that she's upset about EJ going through her phone — who wouldn't be — but maybe - and this is just a friendly suggestion — she could try and discuss that in private, not start a shouting match within view of all their classmates. Just saying.

'Ricky would never steal my phone' — well, perhaps not, but he's not quite above deleting stuff from it, either... I wonder if whoever is writing this show knows that there are many other ways to make a relationship unhealthy... it's not funny anymore. Just repetitive.

Ahhh Natalie and her emotional support hamster! At least there's one good thing about this scene.

Sure, Ricky, blame Big Red for the fact that you misplace your stuff... a very nice best friend he's got, indeed.

Gosh, everything is so awkward and there is just so much tension all over the place — Ricky's parents, then EJ and Nini, and then Carlos just being oblivious to the fact that they just broke up... you know, that last part just made me laugh. And then Ricky's reaction to his parents legally separating just broke my heart. That boy's been through too much.

Big Red being completely clueless about theatre terms is super funny and endearing, but let me just put myself in his shoes for a sec. He's followed his best friend into a badly thought-out scheme to get back together with his ex, got dragged into joining the crew, and is now expected to know what everything is. I would not put up with that... ok, who are we kidding, I'm a massive pushover and would put up with anything, but my point is... he shouldn't have to. At least people are doing the bare minimum to help him learn and nobody's laughed at him for not knowing. That's the good thing about this crew.

Ok, so I have posted about my thoughts of their take on What I've Been Looking For before, back when the episode was brand new, so I won't go into detail about that. In short, I think they've got the arrangement all wrong considering that it is a plot point in the original movie, but... the execution is funny. The scene is about Nini and EJ's post-breakup tension and it shows. I just kind of wish now Miss Jenn had pulled Nini out and put Gina in, even just for this rehearsal — and I might or might not be saying this as a Portwell shipper.

Miss Jenn is done with the students' personal drama and honestly, I'm right behind her. These kids are being completely unprofessional — and well, I realise that we can't expect them to be professional at this stage, but... they could at least try to concentrate on rehearsal and not their personal lives for a second.

Ricky hugging a cushion is my spirit animal. That's it, that's the comment.

Ahhh the tension between EJ and Gina though... 'around here seniors don't follow sophomores' — well, we'll see how it goes, Mr. Senior.

What gives Nini the right to shout at strangers about their relationship? I am honestly so frustrated with her these days. Wonder why I never was during season 1. The reasons are all there.

'He loves you' — yeah, like a little sister, he does. Also, Ash is so precious, always trying to see the good in other people. EJ 1.0 is so lucky he had her as an example.

Ok, I'm not going to go into what an amazing best friend Big Red is because we all know that (plus I'm saving it for a certain scene in 1x5), but this must be so hard for him. I mean, he's trying his absolute best to help Ricky feel better and distract him from his problems, and Ricky is turning everything down. I mean, I guess I understand where he's coming from too, but I'm unable to look at things through the lead-centric lens alone anymore. I'm more aware of non-lead characters now (some more so than others) and this is putting a whole new spin on my perception of everything that happens.

I've got no idea how Big Red can sleep with all this noise, though. I could never. But to each their own.

'perfect on paper' — that's EJ 1.0 to a T. I've got to give Nini that.

Ricky wearing the pride t-shirt... we love to see it.

See, this is why I keep forgetting why I ever shipped Rini and then remembering again... their chemistry is just so on-again-off-again, and here it's definitely present, but I just need a couple with consistent chemistry, you know. Hey, isn't that kind of what All I Want is about? Kind of. I don't know. I've been unable to listen to that song ever since it got big irl. I have this... problem with media that becomes popular and mainstream... I mean, I never hold a grudge against things just for being popular, but I just... relate to underrated stuff much easier. Not because it's underrated, but it just so happens that nearly everything I like and relate to is underrated in some capacity. Even HSMTMTS itself — it's practically unheard of here in Bulgaria, so I would not have found it if I hadn't been looking for it specifically. Ok, this comment got derailed several times. I guess I'll just stop here and move right on to 1x5 at this point.

1x5: A bedazzled tablecloth, a perfectly balanced unicycle and bad reception at the barn... not the perfect ingredients, but they can still... Work This Out

'Miss Jenn says that's a life in the arts... well, that and almost constant unemployment' — alright, I know this line is not supposed to be funny, and that it's a painful reality for a lot of people, but... maybe it's the delivery. I just laugh every time.

See, this is what I mean when I say I want to see consistent chemistry — Seblos have it. I mean, I really don't want to jinx things, but... they do.

Big Red seems to be in a more... outspoken mood today, I guess you could say. Too bad Ricky is still shutting everything he says down. Seriously, Big Red and Seb should start a club for people who try their best to be there for their loved ones and still keep being shushed.

I might be super frustrated with nearly everything Nini says and does (can somebody please tell me why that is?), but... flushing her dress down the toilet? Major mood.

Listen, I love Miss Jenn and that she's close to her students, but... emerging from a toilet cubicle and inviting herself to Kourtney and Nini's girls' night was... Will Shuester level of questionable.

Ricky being the mature one about his parents separation is... I mean, it's admirable, but how did he move past the impending depression of last episode and towards being the one who tells his dad to get up and move on? Well, I mean, good for him. But I think the issue is far from buried yet.

'Friend of the year'? Ricky? I don't think so. First of all, if he were, he'd know that Big Red does not have two left feet. Wasn't it you, Ricky, who was stumbling over the steps in HSM a couple of weeks ago? You're one to talk. Plus Big Red's been listening and trying to help while you've just been spouting off about your personal problems for... how long has it been now? I get it, Ricky has issues that he needs to work through, but he's almost legally blind in both eyes when it comes to Big Red.

Ok, but Ricky is the epitome of 'cannot solve his own problems but has a suggestion on how everybody else should solve theirs' in this episode. Maybe take a step back and listen to your own advice?

'My parents think I'm bonding with the livestock' — I've got no idea why I find this line so funny, but I do. And I've got so much love for this entire scene. Carlos' reaction to Seb's response to his invitation is just... the most adorable thing ever! My heart might just burst. Especially given what we're about to go through tomorrow in 2x10... I am. Not. Ready.

The entire karaoke scene just reminds me of... pretty much every extended family reunion on my mum's side. Her cousins love karaoke and are also completely tone-deaf. I love it that they're able to have fun with it, but my ears are still recovering from my great aunt's birthday party two years ago.

'When did you become Nini?' — Why does Mr. Mazzara know so much about his students' dating lives? I mean, Miss Jenn does, too, but he doesn't strike me as someone as invested in them as her. Idk, it just struck me as kind of weird.

'I didn't agree to photos' — please, EJ, I'm sure you'll want memories from your first fake-dating gig with Gina... once you're no longer fake-dating, you know. Boy, these two are going to have stories to tell to their grandchildren.

I've said some stuff about Nini, but... 'a bedazzled tablecloth' is the funniest description I've heard for Gina's homecoming dress.

'Maybe it's not actually about you at all.' Yeah, you tell him, Reddy! Ricky needs to get over himself.

The way Big Red sniffs out the drama, though... I was not-so-randomly reminded of that moment in 2x9 where Seb was like Carlos. and Big Red was like, 'Are you guys fighting?'...

Big Red doing a comedic lip-reading of Gina and EJ's dramatic scene is absolutely hilarious. I might or might not have sold my heart and soul to him after seeing that scene for the first time. But I just remembered how he said earlier that maybe he can't read lips and that just makes this 100% funnier — he was basically like a child who can't read yet making up a story based on the pictures in a book, and I mean it in the best way possible. He's a theatre dark horse, this one, and they should all be intimidated — or inspired, whatever they choose — by his hidden talents. Gosh, I love this guy. But can you blame me?

'You think I'm actually going to confide in you?' — Absolutely. You can't bully someone from your position of authority over them and then act like you're their friend. I do know now that Mr. Mazzara has hidden depths, but he had no right to be as rude to Carlos as he was in 1x3. He was right about one thing, though — Carlos doesn't need a dance partner to dance.

Ricky saying he was going to apologise to Gina and counting that as an apology is giving me major TJ/ Buffy flashbacks. I wonder why that is... * sarcasm *

Nini feeling like a fraud makes me actually sympathise with her for a second. But I feel like Nini's flaw of defining herself through boys and Ricky in particular has been addressed one time too many now, since it was first addressed here in this episode. If they make her and Ricky get back together again in season 2, I will riot. [side note: I feel like the Born to Be Brave scene says a lot about both Rini and Seblos as couples. Nini and Carlos both feel, in the moments leading up to the song, like they are incomplete without their partners. Ricky, too, has built his personality entirely around Nini at that time (and is still not completely over that in s2). And then the song comes in to remind them that they don't need a partner to be happy. I'm just thinking of Big Red's 'perfectly balanced unicycle' comment from the promotional materials, and of how he and Ashlyn, even when they're dating in s2, are never portrayed as being incomplete without each other. I guess there's a reason why they're the Beta Couple of the show — their relationship drama is nearly non-existent, and when it does exist, it's just caused by them caring too much about each other. Every other couple on the show should learn from them.]

Everybody supporting Carlos during the Born to Be Brave number just warms my heart so much... I am actually crying real tears. And then the end, when Seb finally shows up, right in time for the slow dance... I have a lot of feelings about this scene.

Seblos' dialogue here still kind of makes me cringe a little... but like, in a good way.

Yikes... Miss Jenn's getting into trouble... I mean, it was bound to happen sooner or later. But she's lucky she's had enough time with her students for them to love her enough to fight for her. Still, this is a topic for another episode, and so I won't expand on it in this post.

Well, that's it. That was 1x4 and 5. Those were pretty much my favourite episodes when season 1 was airing. And I can definitely see why, even if my views on some things have changed due to stuff that happens later. But, as I constantly say, that's what rewatches are for. In other words, 'once more, with feeling this time' as my choir director used to say.

[otterskin]

I didn't like the LOKI show, no matter how hard I try, and it's messing with me.

My mother died at the end of December. A lot of other bad things happened as well, like the severe brain injury of my father.

I didn't cry. There was so much to do. I did it. And even then, when there was nothing left to do, I didn't cry.

I found distractions.

Today I went to see the Green Knight after a tough week at a new job that had me leave my father in another province even though he still needs help. I was trying to get back to the life I'd dropped.

I loved the Green Knight. The Arthurian Legends are as dear to me as Norse Mythology, and my copy of them had the Green Knight on the cover. The film was truly excellent, evoking the feel of the story whole still doing something unique and very A24. I cried at one point, like I did when watching the first THOR, because of how much it meant to see something I'd loved since the very first years of my existence finally make it to the big screen and be...right. It's own thing, it's own artistic product, but right.

Then I opened a tab in a browser and saw I had some messages on a website I comment on. It was just some minor criticism of the LOKI show I'd posted beneath an article and how it handled certain things.

I was downvoted. Berated. Hated. Lumped in the ad hominem twitter users who attacked the director and writer (I'd never, ever!) Told I was biphobic because I wanted to see more of a queer lens (I even addressed how difficult it is for bi people in queer cinema and society in general in my criticisms of the romance, but even that wasn't good enough - just disliking it was 'bad'.) I was told I just wanted my 'fanfic' made (I never made any laundrylist of plot points I demanded). I was accused of being a begrudged shipper (ha! If anything I'm an anti-shipper). I was told that I should love the show, it was awesome, and I was bad for not thinking so.

And I started to cry.

I don't cry. Only at movies. Not at real life. I didn't cry at my grandparents's funerals, I didn't cry when I was left with the body of my mother in the hospital room and my brother cried on my shoulder. I didn't cry when working through my dad's severe new disabilities as I realized how much he had lost. I didn't cry while realizing how messy my parents' finances were. I didn't cry when my mother's friends called me in the middle of the night and cried into the phone. I didn't cry when saying goodbye to my dog and going back to a rundown apartment with a terrible smell so I could go to work in a dark room for hours at a time.

But now I'm crying and writing this.

I've realized why. During everything, I looked forward to the LOKI show. The first THOR is deeply nostalgic to me and I watched it often in my first year of Uni when I was away from home. It tied in thematically to what I was going for. Thor 2 came out before I went on exchange, and while I disliked it overall, talking about it was a welcome distraction from my anxieties. Thor 3 was nerve-wracking, but it also came out during my first major job which I was struggling with, and I saw it so many times in theatres...it was such a huge comfort.

Looking forward to LOKI wasn't just a distraction. It was like a promise. A promise that I'd make it till then and see it and maybe it'd give me some comfort.

That's on me. That's a personal thing. It's an unreasonable expectation.

But I needed it, all the same.

Then it came out.

I tried. I really tried to like it, to forgive it, but the problems are things I've criticized for too long in so many other things. I always try to be respectful about, I never go ad hominem and attack the creators, only critique their work and I always mentioned what I liked but...

I didn't like it.

I have no urge to rewatch it.

And the Green Knight...the Green Knight was everything I wanted and needed it to be. It didn't let me down, though I've been anticipating it about as long as the LOKI show. They're very different, obviously, but in my heart they share the same compartment.

And after a very trying day...I realized how badly I needed to rewatch a Loki show I liked. But I can't even enjoy THOR or Thor:Ragnarok anymore. It's like everything I did like has been poisoned.

This thing that got me through immense pain is causing me pain. I don't want to be toxic. I'm sure it's in me. I try so hard not to wallow in disappointment, but to not even be allowed to talk about my problems without being lumped in with abusive online monsters...

I can't do it. I just can't.

This is supposed to be an escape, not another trial.

I needed the LOKI show to be good, so I could come out of the dark into the light, or at least walk through the night with a lantern ahead of me. And instead it was just more darkness, and it's not even entirely its own fault. It's the online discourse. It's the uncalled for harassment of Herron and Waldron. It's the taunting jabs at people who didn't have a good time as if we're all jerks. It's having people roll their eyes when you point out things that made you uncomfortable in the story, it's feeling slightly gaslit when you find something gross that the story intended to be gross and then being told it's not gross, actually.

I'm sorry. I don't want to cause pain. I just...

I needed it to be good. And unlike Thor 3, which delivered me respite in a dark time...it let me down. Worse, it's hurt me.

I said I don't cry, only at the movies. Something about them lets me cry in a way nothing else does. I can't cry at a funeral, but I can cry in a movie theatre at the drop of a hat. It's a release valve, a way for me to process things.

I think I was waiting for LOKI to give me permission to cry. To give me something that could release this pain in me. And instead, it just gave me more.

I never should have given it that power. I didn't want to. But I had to, to get through this.

I'm putting away the few THOR pieces of tat I have. I feel foolish. I always knew it was a capitalist piece of art, chucked from creator to creator with no creative shepherd, which in itself was stressful.

The fandom is no sanctuary for me either, since I'm primarily interested in the family dynamics and I'm sick of 'Odin is an ABUSIVE MONSTER' stories or even unrelated fics and posts just dropping in hate for him that's not at all canon but seems to be very popular to the point where people think it is. Especially since I often read these stories when I need to think of home and my father. Or, most pleasantly of all, when I get called an abuser or abuser-enabler because I say I like Odin as a character. I also can't really bear to deal with anything to do with Sylvie, whom I had high hopes for as someone who wants more female tricksters, but instead I got this...this Mary Sue that's very hard to criticize without being yelled at. I swear I'm coming at her writing as a feminist and I don't hate anyone, I don't, I just...sigh. She's just personally frustrating to me and not being able to discuss it without being called names sucks.

Not to mention I'm asexual, and I always struggle with romance in media being pushed as the 'ultimate relationship more important than any other'. Part of the reason I liked THOR so much was that romance was not the main feature of THOR and definitely not THOR 3 (while my disliked Dark World was all about it, and so is LOKI). And when I criticize the romance, I get called a prude (guilty, I guess), a troll, or, my favourite, just 'a hater'.

I don't want to hate. Who wants that poison in their veins? I'm here because the Thor series HELPED me because I LOVED it. And now I look at the things I used to love and I...don't, anymore.

So much is asked of me right now. I can't willingly invite this painful thing to sit on my chest as well, especially since the world is already shoving it into my face without my doing anything, in ads, in news, in everything.

I suppose that's why I've leaned even more into Odin lately. He was untouched by the LOKI series (though not the Simpson special, which worries me). He's a trickster, he's queer, he's nuanced, he's 'misunderstood' (that old cliche, but he's misunderstood and misrepresented by the people always yelling about how this or that character is misunderstood, which amuses me, except when it gets to me), and he's in many ways free to make my own.

I still have some stuff I'm going to publish that's practically finished. Finnesang has a lot more written for it but needs some major sit-down time for re-writes and edits. Lokabrenna is practically done, just needs tweaks and Beta. I'll be here a little longer.

But I think I'm going to have to step back for now and put my passions into other things.

I will be back. After all, after Thor 2 came Thor 3. Maybe Love and Thunder will right the ship and Thor can still be awesome, and maybe eventually a creative I love will come to work on the franchise. Really, that's the key for me - I loved Branagh before THOR, and loved Waititi before Thor, and disliked Waldron's work (though I gave him every benefit of the doubt and hoped and prayed to be wrong - sadly, it was what I expected.)

But...if LOKI season 2 is more of this, more romantic tropes I hate and Loki being an afterthought in his own show and his family being devalued for new characters...I can't do it. I can't watch something I used to love just throw that all away for something I dislike.

My tears are finally drying. I wrote a lot of this while the screen was blurry, so I hope there's no grammar or typo too embarrasing. I'm not sure I have the strength to re-read it. Sorry for the rant. It helped me feel better.

Thank you all. I hope I feel differently someday.

[queen-of-my-goofball-army]

Ouran High HCs

For the fifteenth birthday of one of my favorite romantic comedies, and the day that I started watching said romantic comedy with my boyfriend who is relatively new to anime it got me thinking about these characters and how wonderfully diverse their personalities are. The show has 100% chaotic energy and I love it so much. I wanted to look at every major character in the host club (Haruhi, Tamaki, Kyoya, Hikaru, my favorite twin Kaoru, Honey-senpai, and of course Mori-senpai.) using all their personalities and make some head-canons for favorite group of crazies!

Haruhi:

- She/they icon, we stan

- Always preferred to wear more masculine clothes growing up, they were less expensive than the feminine ones. Plus she felt more comfortable in a pair of shorts as opposed to a dress.

- A very active child, she was always running around her neighborhood, going to the park and doing things with her dad.

- Her dad taught her everything that she needed to know about makeup once she became a member of the host club.

- She worked a part time job in order to help her dad pay the bills and to get food money.

- She thought that she was arosexual before joining the host club. Despite the confessions that she got in junior high they either went entirely over her head or she told them that she was too focused on her studies for romance at that time. Of course all that changed when she met our favorite blonde haired himbo goofball.

- She did wind up taking the conversational French with the twins and often times they'll slip into it for practice. Of course, Tamaki always understands when they talk shit about him so they just do it to mess with him.

Tamaki (my favorite):

- Bisexual king, honestly I love that for him out here living his best life.

- He didn't have much of a childhood between constantly needing to be there for his mom and make sure that she was healthy and okay. It's why he made the host club in the first place to live out his childhood that he was robbed of.

- Is actually way smarter academically than most people might think. If you were to look at the class grades he's always right behind Kyoya. He dedicates a lot of his free time to studying. He's not inherently stupid, just naive.

- His mom was the one that got him into cosplay by introducing him to the various kinds of fabrics. It stemmed into a personal interest that he could lose himself in and distract himself from the loneliness.

- He practiced flirting on Kyoya back in middle school for the future host club once he had his heart set on it.

Kyoya:

- In the words of the great immortal J Michael Tatum "Kyoya is probably gay". It was something that didn't even occur to me until I watched him do an Ouran panel and then I was like holy shit the king makes a good point.

- While Tamaki was his gay crisis, he quickly realized that he would spend forever pining after him and eventually shelved his feelings. Tamaki was his best friend and that was more important to him than his feelings.

- Kyoya has always been a really keen observer of people's true intentions. He's excellent at reading people and knowing what they want from him. The only people he has never been able to read perfectly are Tamaki, Kaoru, and Haruhi.

- He originally didn't want to be a doctor but he eventually wanted to prove himself so badly that he told his father that he would surpass his expectations no matter how high they were.

- Doing background checks on people is fascinating to him. It's not just for blackmail purposes but he likes learning people's weaknesses. He's also an excellent chess player.

Hikaru:

- The definitive over protective sibling. Anybody hurts Kaoru they will wish that they were dead. Kaoru is the most important person in his life and he would do anything to protect him.

- His tsundere tendencies come from a place of wanting to protect those he loves not out of anger.

- While he is begrudgingly worse at letting in other people once you fight your way through his walls he's actually a really amazing friend and s/o.

- His love of the fashion industry stems more from the model side of things than anything else. He can't design anything of his own to save his life.

- He never cared about any girls in his life before Haruhi came into his. Even though he didn't know how to deal with his feelings she was the first person who ever really showed that she cared about him.

Kaoru (my preferred Hitachiin sib):

- One big gay disaster that is absolutely crushing on Kyoya (I just learned about this ship today and it has stolen my life juice.) To blush when he's working with Hikaru to please the ladies all he has to do is think of Kyoya in his brother's spot.

- Is the far superior designer that can actually make really beautiful clothes. Most of the costumes that are worn by the club are designed by Kaoru.

- His hair is a lot softer than Hikaru's even though it's the same style, hair product and everything. I think that his would be more poofy and Hikaru's more spikey.

- Kaoru has always felt like he had to work harder to be like his brother that when you spend time with him alone at first it will be almost like you're talking to a replica of Hikaru and not a separate entity. At first it's a little bit awkward but once you get him out of his shell you find what a sweet and amazing person he is.

- Kaoru is an incredible skateboarder. He loves the feeling that he gets from the wind in his hair and designed his own skateboard. A lot of his hobbies outside of the club are athletic related causing him to have a more defined body than his brother since Hikaru is basically a cat.

Honey-senpai: - If this boi could make cakes and pastries for a living without the threat of eating them all he would make the best sweets. He knows when something is just the right amount of sweet and when something is too sweet.

- He learned martial arts to be stronger because he knew that people would try to take advantage of him due to his childlike nature.

- Honey had a fight with his grandmother before she passed away over something completely selfish. That is why he is so attached to Usa-chan.

- Him and Mori were always really close, even as children and understand each other better than anybody.

- His constant animosity between him and his younger brother is because he feels like he is constantly being babied due to his personality.

Mori-senpai:

- Mori has autism. He is also selectively mute. I'm sorry I don't make the rules, the show itself gives them to me.

- Looks like a tough guy but in actuality would give the best hugs. I want a Mori hug. Haruhi probably gets the most Mori hugs because he is immensely protective over her.

- Aro-ace baby but gives the best platonic cuddles to any of the club members that are having parental issues.

- While he prefers spicy over sweet he does have a sweet tooth at random times of the day. Has been sighted at a local Cold Stone five minutes before closing in the dead of winter, while it's snowing outside by Kaoru and Kyoya while they were trying to find a place to get warm while out on a date.

- He actually didn't start his athletic endeavors with kendo, he started with ballet and gymnastics when he was really young.

And that's all my head-canons for the day! Happy anniversary to my favorite ridiculous throw everything against the wall and see what sticks to it romantic comedy. I hope that one day we will either get a season two or at this point it would be better to just do a hard reboot. Hoping that one day we will see our boys animated in high definition, even though I feel like an HD Tamaki would definitely kill me.

[orangeoctopi7]

Spiderstan AU Chapter 12

RESEARCH

No one was in a good mood the next morning. Stan was still nursing a huge headache as he recovered from the last bits of Gremloblin neurotoxin. Ford was still cross with Stan for endangering himself and Fiddleford the previous day, as well as a bit distracted thinking about what Bill could possibly be sending him. And poor Fiddleford had obviously not slept a wink last night, although whether that was due to discomfort from the broken arm or anxiety after the Gremloblin attack was unclear. 

“Are either of you feeling up to retrieving our supplies?” Ford asked as they all poked at a breakfast of instant oatmeal.

“No.” Stan grumbled into his bowl, pinching the bridge of his nose, as though he could draw the tension out from behind his eyes.

“...Fiddleford?” Ford asked when his friend didn’t respond. The inventor looked up with a start.

“Wh-what?” he reacted as though someone had just threatened him.

“I just want to know if you’re feeling up to going back up the hill and retrieving the supplies we had to leave behind.”

McGucket fidgeted with the sling that was holding his broken arm in place. “N-n-no, no I don’t think so.”

Ford frowned with concern. “Alright. I should be able to manage on my own with the amulet of levitation. Stanley, could you at least take Fiddleford to the hospital, so you can get a professional to set it and provide a proper cast?”

“Waste of money, if y’ask me.” Stan grunted.

“I didn’t ask you.” Ford hissed. “Fiddleford, I suppose it’s your own choice whether you want to go see a doctor or not.”

“No! I’m not crazy! I’m not seein’ no shrink!” his friend snapped.

“...I meant for your arm.” Stanford clarified, after a moment of stunned silence.

“...Oh. R-right…. Yeah… r-reckon I oughta…” 

“Look, buddy, if you don’t wanna go to the hospital, no judgement here.” Stan assured the inventor. “And if you do wanna go, I’ll drive ya, just don’t expect me to come in with you.”

“They don’t charge you for sitting in the waiting room, Stan.” Ford rolled his eyes.

“No, but if I ask for a cup of water, they’d probably add it to your bill.” Stan countered.

Ford stood and grabbed his coat, along with a small turquoise stone set in a brass broach. “Well, you two work out what you want to do. I’m going to go retrieve our things.”

“Try not to get yourself killed while you’re off on your own, ok?” Stan called after him as he left.

“I’ll be fine, mom!”

Stan and McGucket just sat chewing their oatmeal for another moment or two before either of them spoke again.

“So, uh, just to be clear, did you want me to drive you to the hospital, or…?”

“Oh, I reckon I should go.” McGucket nodded, more confident this time. “Mainly ‘cuz this make-shift cast an’ sling Stanford made fer me ain’t ‘xactly comfer’ble. A professional one’ll prob’ly be better protection, too.”

“Alright, we’ll go in a minute, just lemme finish eating.”

“While we’re out, I think we oughta talk ‘bout Stanford’s, uh, mysterious friend.”

Stan grimaced. “Yeah. I think that thing was here again last night. I was too out of it to go check, though.”

“Does it show up every night?” McGucket asked anxiously.

“Nah, I only felt it a few times while you were gone.” Stan informed him. “And two of those were during the day. I dunno what that thing’s deal is.”

“That’s ‘xactly why we gotta learn more ‘bout it.” the inventor. “It don’t seem like Ford’s gonna be very forthcoming with information, so we’ll have to start askin’ around the town.”

“How do we do that in a way that, y’know, doesn’t make people think we’re crazy?”

Fiddleford flinched at Stan’s words, and he needed a few seconds to regain his composure.

“Like I said before, lots’a Native American artefacts round the valley have that one-eyed triangle on it. I’m sure if’n we just ask people if they know what it is or where it comes from, act like we’re jus’ interested in the history, that won’t turn no heads.”

“Yeah, cuz I’m sure people will believe a guy like me is just interested in history.”

“Why not? Nobody here knows you ‘cept maybe as Ford’s brother, if they don’t just mistake you for ‘im outright. It ain’t that hard to believe.”

Stan opened his mouth to argue, but Fiddleford had a point. Maybe this would work.

* * *

After dropping Fiddleford off at the hospital, Stan started asking around about the yellow triangle thing. While most folks at least recognized the symbol when Stan drew it, no one really knew where it came from or what it was, other than something associated with the illuminati. Nobody knew about its connections to local Native American folklore. Stan supposed he shouldn’t have been surprised, it wasn’t like he expected the hospital receptionist to be an expert on Native American history.

Thankfully, Fiddleford’s checkup didn’t take too long. Stan had just wrapped up a conversation with an old farmer when the inventor stepped back into the waiting room, wearing a new cast.

“Any luck?” McGucket asked as they climbed back into Stan’s car.

“No. Shockingly, none of these yokels know anything about our mysterious visitor.”

“Hmmm, I reckon we’ll have better luck researchin’ at the library.”

Stan groaned loudly.

“What’ve you got against libraries?” Fiddleford asked, like an insult to the library was as bad as a personal insult.

“Nothin’, libraries are great, they’re some place I can go for air conditioning or heating and just sit around for a few hours without raisin’ a fuss. What I ain’t a fan of is researching.”

Fiddleford chuckled and shook his head. “Well, lucky for you I’m plenty experienced in that department. S’pose you could chat with the librarians while I do the book research.

The library was nearly empty, considering it was the middle of the day on a Wednesday. Of course, that meant the librarians weren’t too preoccupied to answer some questions. One helped Fiddleford search the catalog for books on the local tribes’ history and folklore, while the other talked to Stan.

“Ah yes, you see a lot of this figure in ancient art.” The librarian nodded. “Many people erroneously assume it’s a Freemason or illuminati symbol, but it actually becomes much less common after European contact.”

“Why’s that?” Stan asked.

“Hmm, I’ll admit I don’t know. We haven’t got access to any recordings of local oral tradition. Although I’ve heard many Native American communities are starting to tape that sort of thing. If you really want to know the original story behind that symbol, you should go to the original source!”

“Yeah, cuz I’m sure they’re eager to share the story with some random white guy.” Stan rolled his eyes.

“Oh, I’m sure as long as you’re respectful, they’d just be happy someone is taking an interest. Warm Springs Reservation is only about an hour and a half drive from here, they’re a confederation of Tenino, Wasco, and Paiute tribes. They have a museum, you should go pay them a visit.”

Respectful wasn’t usually in Stan’s vocabulary, but he supposed this case was an exception.

Seeing as the librarian didn’t have much more info for Stan, he contented himself with browsing the library’s comics section while Fiddleford did his book research. The nerd took much less time than Stan had been expecting.

“This library’s collection of local Native American folklore ain’t what I’d call extensive.” Fiddleford shook his head, “I was only able to find a couple of tangential references to the thing. All I got is it’s associated with knowledge.”

“Hmph, no wonder Ford’s buddy-buddy with it.”

“What ‘bout you, did the librarian have any more info for ya?”

“Not really, but she did recommend I go visit the nearest reservation and check out their museum. Not a bad idea really, ‘snot like we’ve gotten any info from anyone else. Plus, I bet they’ve got a casino!”

“That’s not really gonna help us figure anything out.”

“No, but it’ll help me blow off steam. Besides, Ford’ll be suspicious if I suddenly wanna visit a Native American museum. I’m coverin’ my tracks.”

* * *

Thanks to Ford’s photographic memory and stopping to get directions from a passing gnome, the young researcher was able to find their gear and carry it back to Fiddleford’s truck in just a few hours. Retracing his steps brought back memories of their hike, both good and bad. That night around the campfire had been nice, talking about their plans for the future, joking with Stan… but then the next morning, he’d overhead his friends talking behind his back.

“...And while you were on vacation, he kinda implied he wasn't up here alone before you moved in. I think this has been going on for a while. Maybe even years. Did you ever notice anything weird right after you moved in?"

"Other than that creepy triangle symbol everywhere? Not really…"

Ford grit his teeth, and the levitating objects in front of him wobbled. Didn’t they trust him? Even if he couldn’t tell them about Bill, couldn’t they at least understand that he was just doing what he could to further their research? Why did they automatically assume Bill was dangerous?

“...They could have at least asked me…” The researcher muttered under his breath.

“WELL, THEY COULD HAVE, BUT WE BOTH KNOW YOU WOULDN’T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO GIVE THEM A STRAIGHT ANSWER.”

“Bill!” Ford startled in surprise.

“HEYA SIXER, THOUGHT I’D COME KEEP YOU COMPANY WHILE YOU PICK UP AFTER YOUR BROTHER’S MESS.”

“Thank you, Bill, I appreciate it.” Ford smiled gratefully.

“HEY, WHAT ARE FRIENDS FOR! NOT LIKE THOSE JERKS WHO LEFT YOU TO DO THIS ON YOUR OWN.”

“Well, that’s not their fault. They’re both still recovering from the Gremloblin attack yesterday.”

“SO, WHAT’S EATIN’ YA, SIXER? BESIDES YOUR OWN BODY’S METABOLISM SLOWLY BURNING ITSELF OUT.”

Ford sighed. “I just wish I could tell them about you. It’d make things so much easier!”

Bill tisked. “THEIR REACTION TO MY HELP AT THE ALIEN SHIP IS PROOF ENOUGH, THEY JUST WOULDN’T GET IT.”

“But if I had a chance to explain--”

“WE’VE ALREADY DISCUSSED THIS, FORDSY. EVEN IF THEY DO TAKE YOUR EXPLANATION SERIOUSLY AND DON’T THINK YOU’VE FINALLY LOST IT, ARE YOU REALLY NAIVE ENOUGH TO BELIEVE THEY’LL JUST GO ON SUPPORTING YOU? WE BOTH KNOW WHAT STANO’S LIKE WHEN YOU’RE ABOUT TO MOVE ON TO SOMETHING BIGGER AND BETTER. AND FOUR-EYES ALREADY ADMITTED TO YOUR FACE HE’D RATHER BE WORKING ON HIS OWN PROJECTS BACK HOME WITH HIS FAMILY. YOU REALLY THINK HE WOULDN’T TAKE THE FACT THAT YOU’VE GOT ME AS A SIGN HE’S OK TO PACK UP AND HEAD BACK HOME?”

“N-no, he wouldn’t… I still need his help!”

“HMMM, MAYBE YOU’RE RIGHT. MAYBE HE’D HELP HIMSELF TO YOUR PRELIMINARY RESEARCH AND PUBLISH IT HIMSELF FIRST.”

“Fiddleford’s my friend, he wouldn’t do that!”

“OH RIGHT, I FORGOT! YOU TWO ARE SUCH GOOD FRIENDS YOU’D NEVER LIE TO EACH OTHER OR TALK BEHIND THE OTHER’S BACK!”

Ford did not have a good rationalization for that.

“I’M JUST SAYING, STANFORD, BE CAREFUL WHO YOU TRUST!”

* * *

Stan and McGucket were helping themselves to a late lunch when Ford returned with their equipment. 

“So you went to the hospital after all.” Ford observed, nodding at Fiddleford’s new cast.

“Oh, yep…” Fiddleford answered. The inventor still seemed anxious and distracted.

“How long did they say you’d need to wear the cast?”

“‘Bout a week…” Fiddleford tapped his foot nervously.

Ford frowned. “I was hoping we’d be able to start connecting the hyperdrive to the portal tonight, but I supposed Stanley could help lift the superstructure.”

“Mmmnope.” Stanley declined. “I’m headin’ out to the casino tonight.”

“What? Why?”

“To gamble, genius, what do you think I’m gonna do at a casino?”

“No, I mean… why do you feel the need to go to a casino?”

“Have a little fun, make a little cash.”

“...Is this because I still haven’t gone grocery shopping?”

“What!? No, for cryin’ out loud, Ford, I just wanna go out and spend a night on the town!”

“On a Wednesday?”

“Yeah, that’s how you beat the crowds! I figure I deserve a break after fighting a monster and getting poisoned!”

“Oh…” Ford deflated. “... that’s fair. But… you’re coming back afterwards, right?”

Stan rolled his eyes. “Don’t worry, your latest specimen isn’t gonna fly the coop.”

Stanford frowned at his brother’s comment, but didn’t offer a retort. Instead he set about fixing his own late lunch. “So yet another day goes by where we make no progress on the portal project.”

“Stanford, I know yer eager to make your mark and get answers, but there really ain’t any reason we can’t take another day or two!” Fiddleford assured him. “There ain’t no ‘Weirdness Rush’ yet.”

“Perhaps, but one thing I’ve learned over the last six years here is that it’s far too easy to get distracted by every little fascinating thing one comes across here. If we don’t stay focused, we could easily keep putting it off until it just never gets done. I prefer to strike while the iron is hot.”

“Well, you keep striking iron, Ford.” Stan waved him off. “Tonight, I’m hopin’ to strike gold!”

* * *

After Stan left, the two scientists spent the night going over calculations and carefully inspecting the hyperdrive. Ford was disappointed they wouldn’t be able to start hooking it up to the mechanics of the portal just yet, but it was the kind of delicate mechanical work he only trusted McGucket with. He wished he had some more manual work to preoccupy his mind tonight. The young researcher had a hard time focusing on his calculations; his mind kept wandering to his brother.

If Stan won the jackpot, he’d be able to support himself. He wouldn’t have any more reason to stay here and work with me… Would he even come back? Would he even bother telling us?

Ford sighed with frustration as he realized he’d just read the same equation three times over. He really needed something to keep his hands occupied while he worked. He reached over to McGucket’s desk for what he often did when he needed something to keep his hands busy, and picked up his friend’s Cubics Cube. He raised an eyebrow when he noticed it still hadn’t been solved since the last time he scrambled it. He’d never seen Fiddleford leave it unsolved for more than a few hours. He glanced over to see the young inventor also seemed to be having trouble focusing on his work.

“You can’t concentrate either?” Ford asked, noticing how Fiddleford’s knee kept up a steady pace of 2 kbps, but his eyes stayed fixed at the top of the page he was supposed to be checking.

Fiddleford startled at his friend’s words. “S-sorry, jus’ tired. Didn’t sleep well last night.”

Ford offered him a sympathetic smile. “I don’t imagine so. I’m sure you’ll be on the mend soon enough though.”

“Mmm.” McGucket hummed noncommittally. “And how ‘bout you, what’s keepin’ you from concentratin’?” 

The researcher hemmed and hawed for a moment before he finally settled on an answer. “I suppose I’m a bit concerned with Stanley. I know he’s staying here because he’s got nowhere else to go, and I’m happy to give him a place to stay, but if things go well for him at the casino tonight… why would he stay here if he suddenly acquires the means to support himself?”

McGucket huffed a small chuckle and rolled his eyes. “It’s like I keep tellin’ ya Ford, you oughta be tellin’ him this stuff, and not me! If’n you really want him to stay, then you gotta be honest with him!”

“I-I am!” Ford insisted, willfully ignoring the fact that he was not, in fact, being honest about Bill. That didn’t count. He’d tell Stan if he thought Stan needed to know.

The inventor just rolled his eyes again. “Mama was right, can’t be honest with others if’n ya ain’t honest with yerself first.”

“And what is that supposed to mean?”

“You know what I mean, ya lost yer temper with me the last time I brought it up!”

Ford scoffed. “I am not under some deluded hope that if Stan stays, it will magically solve our issues.”

Fiddleford nodded. “Yeah, it does seem like you two are past that point. Now you’re just wantin’ to keep him around ‘cuz he’s your brother and you’ll miss him!”

The atmosphere of the room instantly went cold, and the pages of calculations in Fords hands crinkled as his grip tightened. “I would absolutely. Never. Try and keep Stan around. Just because I would miss him.” He enunciated through clenched teeth. “I… I simply… I have his best interests in mind! And the interest of my research! But I’m not trying to keep him here! He’s free to leave! He--he’s free to pursue other interests!”

McGucked raised his hands placatingly. Obviously, he had touched a nerve. “I’m sorry, I misspoke! I jus’ meant to say you care about him is all!”

“Of course I care about him! When was that ever in question!?”

Fiddleford gave him a steady look. “When ya went more than ten years without talkin’ to each other.”

Ford flushed. “It’s not like Stanley ever reached out to me! And I was the one who had a regular address and phone number! How was I supposed to talk to him, when he was always traveling!? Even our mother never got more than the occasional postcard!”

“I’m not sayin’ yer brother’s blameless in this, Ford, I’m jus’ sayin’ you could stand to actually let him know how you feel!”

“I don’t even know how I feel half the time!” The researcher burst. He was stunned by his own words, and took a moment to collect his thoughts and calm down a bit before continuing. “Stanley’s my brother, and he was such an important part of my life growing up. Of course I care about him. But the things he’s done-- the things he still does-- the way he ignores what I want because he thinks he knows best-- it infuriates me! So I suppose you could say my feelings for him are… complicated.”

Fiddleford nodded. “Family’s always complicated.”

Ford scoffed derisively. “This is considerably more complicated than the average family squabble.” 

McGucket laughed. “You’re right about that! Well, if it makes ya feel any better, I’m pretty sure Stan ain’t gonna run out on ya tonight, even if he does win it big at that casino. He’s got unfinished business here, after all.”

“That’s an odd way to refer to our continued studies of his powers, but I suppose you’re right.”

* * *

The parking lot for the Warm Springs History Museum was completely empty. Not that the casino lot across the way was packed, but it at least had a few cars parked near the entrance. Stan worried the museum might be closed, but he saw the light was on, and the door was unlocked.

There didn’t appear to be another soul in the building. Stan wandered around from one exhibit to the next, looking for anything that might be related to Ford’s mysterious benefactor. Stan wasn’t really all that surprised that he didn’t find anything. Finally, he rounded a corner and found the gift shop. A teenage girl who was probably supposed to be the cashier sat in front of a small TV. It was clearly supposed to be playing a VHS that the gift shop was trying to sell, but instead an Itira 3600 was hooked up and playing Brick Break.

“Uh, ‘scuse me?” Stan cleared his throat and knocked gently on the counter.

The girl didn’t glance away from the screen, eyes carefully following the bouncing pixel as it broke through another line of bricks. “Yeah I know you’re there I can see your reflection on the screen. We close in like ten minutes, just grab whatever you want and I’ll ring you up once I clear this level.”

“I’m not here to buy anything.”

“Then you better turn around and head back to the casino, ‘cuz bricks ain’t the only thing I can break.” 

“I don’t want anything from you either!” Stan assured her, waving his hands innocently. “I just got some questions about, uh, tribal history.”

“That’s what this museum is here for, sir.” She answered flatly.

“The thing I’m askin’ about isn’t in the museum, trust me, I checked.”

“We got history books too.”

“I doubt it’s in there either. Hey, if you’re too busy, is there someone else I can talk to?”

The girl tisked and tilted her game controller. “Yeah yeah, just a sec. I just got one more line at the top.”

Stan rolled his eyes and tapped his fingers on the counter impatiently. He supposed he couldn’t blame the girl. This was probably a very boring job. He knew most people who came this way were probably more interested in the casino, not the history of the people who had to run it just to make ends meet.

The girl finally cleared the level and put her controller down as the new level loaded in. “Ok, what’s your question.”

“Ok, this might sound stupid, but can you tell me more about what this thing is?” Stan pulled a pamphlet off the counter and drew the triangle with the eye. “I think it’s usually yellow?”

The girl raised her eyebrow in surprise when she took in Stan’s drawing. “Oh… that. You don’t see anything about that in here because that’s associated with… I guess the best word for it would be curses?”

Stan’s heart skipped a beat. “R-really? The little research I did on it beforehand said it was associated with knowledge.”

“Yeah, cursed knowledge.” The girl told him. “I’ll admit, I’m not super familiar with it. It’s kinda really ancient. When Nathaniel Northwest swindled us out of our land in Gravity Falls, we were relative newcomers. All the other tribes in the area believed the valley was cursed, because of that thing.”

Stan gulped. “What, uh, what’d it do?”

The girl put on her best storytelling voice. “Well, a thousand years ago, there was an old shaman called Modoc the Wise. He and his people worshipped that being. Until one day, Modoc learned its terrible secret. Modoc warned the people that the being they’d been worshipping was a liar, and that it would lay waste to the valley. But before he could tell them any more, the being drove him mad, and he slaughtered half his tribe before lighting himself on fire to try and stop it!”

Stan paled. “So, uh, this guy’s really bad news, huh?”

“That’s an understatement, but yeah.” The girl nodded. “Why do you want to know, anyway?”

“Uh, I live in Gravity Falls. I’ve just seen this thing on a lot of stuff, wondered what it was.”

“Ah, well, have fun living with the knowledge that your hometown is cursed!” She smiled viciously at him. “Now, it’s closing time. Are you gonna buy something or not?”

* * *

Stan tried to take his mind off things at the casino. His superhuman reflexes made him a whiz at the slots, but he had learned in the past that winning too much tended to draw unwanted attention. Of course, Stan was too busy trying to process what he’d just learned to pay much attention to his gambling, so it’s not like he could have won it big even if he was trying.

After just half-an-hour, it was clear that his heart just wasn’t in it today. Stan decided to play a round of Craps before he left, just to get in some dice rolling. Then he’d head home.

Careful. He warned himself. Don’t go callin’ that place your home. You know the second you get comfortable there is the second Ford decides he doesn’t want you around anymore.

By the time he finished, Stan managed to leave with about $20 more in his pocket than when he came in, so it wasn’t a bad night, gambling-wise. And he had at least learned something about that triangle guy. It just wasn’t good news. The trip certainly wasn’t a loss. So why did Stan feel like he hadn’t gained anything?

These thoughts weighed so heavily on his mind, that he never noticed the eyes on him as he left the casino.

“We’ve found him.” A shadowy figure spoke into his walkie-talkie.

* * *

PSM WAZF FFY OENKGK KS LELB, TPXLL QAT? YOP HGR’T PQB KEDO TF UVDI GJ YFWY FPV JRZGUUW?

[queen-scribbles]

Acceptable Risk

Art trade fic for the extremely patient @theheroofoakvale, exploring if Shepard’s recruiting Thane had gone a little.... differently.

-----

The door opened with a quiet hiss, and Shepard’s entry was greeted with the raised barrels of several assault rifles. The mercenaries, however, paused before opening fire, despite being confronted by three heavily armed individuals pointing guns back at them.

The asari in the middle of the cluster--clad for business rather than combat--spun to face them, her eyes widening. “Shepard?!”

Shepard smirked, centered his pistol on her. “Nassana.”

There was a muffled clatter in the ceiling that had the mercenaries’ attention swiveling upward. Her posture shifted defensive. “You’re dead.”

“I got better,” he retorted, and shot her in the throat.

Her bodyguards zeroed back in on him and his team, torn between them and the threat above, and that was their undoing. A dark figure dropped from one of the ceiling vents, and Shepard used that moment of distraction to take out two of them. When the remaining mercs focused in on him, the dark figure punched one in the throat and shot the other center mass. The few that were left went down quickly.

Massani and Vakarian kept their guns up, leveled at the late arrival, a drell, as he stood in the middle of the carnage, eyes fixed in an unblinking, regretful stare at Nassana Dantius’ body.

“Sorry if I stole your kill,” Shepard said after letting the silence go as long as he could tolerate. His pistol hung at his side in a loose grip, ready if he needed it. He didn’t think he would.

“I was not here for her, though the galaxy is no less for her removal,” the drell said softly, finally looking up from the dead woman and blinking just before he met Shepard’s gaze. “I am here for you.”

Behind him, Massani muttered a quiet curse and Vakarian tightened his grip on his gun, but Shepard didn’t even flinch. “I did wonder. Dantius hardly seems worth the time for someone of your... reputation.”

“And yet you still came,” the drell said, clasping his hands behind him and looking in no rush to kill anyone.

“She used me.” He let the barest edge of a snarl color the words. “I can go along with a likely trap if it gives me an excuse for payback. Also,” he took half a step forward, “seemed the best way to meet you, Krios. We need to talk.”

Thane Krios did not look at all perturbed that his target knew who he was. His expression remained impassive as he studied Shepard’s face. “Do we? What about?”

“I need your help on a mission. You can feel free to continue trying to kill me after we’re done.”

“Why?” Krios asked, still studying Shepard’s face.

“Why, what?”

“Why do you need me? Why should I help instead of killing you now?”

Shepard laughed darkly. “The fucking galaxy is at stake, I need the best of the best, even if they are out for my blood.” Another half step forward, Vakarian and Massani following this time until he waved them back. “As for the second question.... I know some things about you, Krios. I know you’re dying, and I know you have a son.” His pistol folded in on its clip as he crossed his arms and stared hard at the assassin. “And where he is. I imagine you’d hate for something to happen to him before you had a chance to mend fences.”

Three rapid blinks, a sharp breath, posture unchanged, but it was the most reaction Krios had shown in this conversation. “And would you make this...   something happen if I say no, Shepard?”

His calm was impressive. Shepard wondered if it was an easier illusion to maintain with eyes that had neither pupils nor iris to betray strong emotion. “If I have to. I need the best, Krios, which is you. Don’t really care how I get your cooperation.”

Krios was silent for a long moment. “This threat must be grave indeed for you to employ such measures.”

He was nigh impossible to read, but the slight shift of his clasped hands was hint enough. “I’m hunting an enemy who’s abducting human colonies and has ties to the Reapers, I’d call that pretty damn grave. Like I said, you can resume trying to kill me if we survive. What’s it gonna be?”

Another heavy pause, though shorter. “You have left me only one viable option if I care about my son.”

Shepard arched a brow.

“I will assist. Consider this a pause in the contract on your life.”

“Good enough for me.” Shepard cast a smug glance at Dantius’ corpse, then turned to exit the room. “We’re done here, so you can either come with us or meet us at the ship.”

“I will meet you shortly. I have a few personal effects to gather,” Krios said.

“Alright. We’re on a clock, so don’t dilly dally,” Shepard replied, and motioned their departure to Vakarian and Massani.

“What’s to stop him from shooting you on our way down?” Vakarian muttered as they headed for the elevator. “He’s already planning to kill you and you threatened his kid.”

Massani beat Shepard to the answer. “Doesn’t know if there’s a dead man’s switch on that something happenin’ to his boy if Shepard bites it.” He chuckled darkly and smirked at Shepard. “What the hell’d you do to earn a death mark, anyway?” 

Shepard shrugged, watching the blur of downward travel out the elevator’s glass-paned wall. “Hell if I know, Massani. Certainly pissed off enough people for there to be some options.”

The mercenary gave a rough laugh and slapped him on the shoulder. “Wear like a badge of fucking honor, kid. Means you got someone real riled up.”

---

Krios was, as promised, aboard the Normandy well within an hour. His personal effects he’d gone to collect were few enough to fit in a small shoulder satchel that he politely refused to let anyone inspect. (Lawson was not happy when Shepard told her to drop it, clearly suspicious of allowing an assassin on board without first vetting his gear.) He settled in life support at EDI’s suggestion, and ruffled no feathers with the rest of the crew, unless you counted Taylor’s mistrust of his career in general.

“What will be expected of me, Commander?” Krios asked, in that same modulated tone he’d used on Illium.

“No shipboard duties, if that’s what you’re wondering,” Shepard said. He leaned against the wall by the door and studied Krios. “You can do as you like here. When we have missions, I may want you to come watch my six, if your skillset seems a good fit.”

“I see.” He folded his hands, elbows braced against the small worktable at which he sat. There was a hesitation under the words that almost rang in the air.

“If there’s something else you wanna say, now’s the time,” Shepard prodded. He didn’t have time to be gentle prying out secrets or whatever.

“My son,” Krios said, words measured and careful. “You say you know where he is. Would you be willing to share that knowledge?”

Shepard mulled it over, weighing the value of his options. “In time,” he finally said. “We have a couple pressing assignments that are more important than family reunions. But if we hit a point with some free time I’ll let you know.”

Krios nodded, his expression unreadable as ever. “Very well, Shepard.”

“One thing I need to know from you,” Shepard began, pushing away from the wall, “is if whatever’s killing you will affect your abilities in a fight.”

“It shouldn’t, not yet.” He paused for the space of a few blinks. “I should have several months at least before the symptoms become noticeable even to myself. More than enough time to complete your mission, if it is as urgent as you make you sound.”

“Is that something you doubt, Krios?” 

“Not at all.” Krios pushed to his feet and crossed the room to examine a rack of spare rifle parts. “Even someone of your reputation would have to be on a mission of urgency to blackmail an assassin sent to kill you into helping your cause. I simply mean this threat seems the type where a decisive outcome will be reached swiftly; whether in victory or destruction. Well within the time I have before functionality is... affected.”

“Good.” Shepard nodded. “Not sure when I’ll need you, but I want to be sure you’ll be worth it when the times comes.” He left the room, noting Krios’ undertone murmur as he did, and from the cadence wondered what the assassin was praying for.

---

Shepard first tested him on something that seemed of no consequence; a mercenary base on a backwater planet trafficking stolen eezo. Thane did his job, no more no less, all the while making note of how the man fought. The risks he thought worth taking, the sacrifices that were acceptable cost, the balance of recklessness and cunning. It was not a complete picture, not off one mission, and Thane wouldn’t act on what he’d gleaned even if it were.

Not with the blade the commander had hung over Kolyat. Not with the hope of learning where his son might be. Patience was the hallmark of an assassin, after all; knowing when to strike as well as how. And Thane had been an assassin a very long time. He could wait.

Especially as conversations with others aboard the ship painted a clearer and clearer picture of the mission’s scope. A trip through the Omega 4 relay was very likely to be suicidal just on its own. Destroying whatever these Collectors used as a base doubly so. When Shepard made ‘if we survive’ comments, he wasn’t joking. Thane could wait. He could help with the mission--it was a worthy goal after all, one he would have assisted in accomplishing without the threats--and then resume his contract.

After the mercenary base was eliminated, and easily, Shepard made use of Thane’s skills a few more times. Usually on missions with plentiful shadow coverage and good sight lines.

“How’re you holding up?” Garrus asked on one such mission, the two of them picking off targets from a bit of a distance while Shepard made viciously short work of the battlefield.

“I’ve had worse assignments.” Thane’s rifle kicked against his shoulder and the krogan he’d been targeting dropped. He fired another shot, just to be safe, and watched the body jerk then lay still, before searching out another target. “What of you?”

Garrus snorted, took down his own target. “I’m  here because he’s my... friend” --there was a brief hesitation, as if the turian wasn’t completely sure that was the right word--”and I trust that whatever he’s doing is worth whatever it costs to accomplish.”

“You’ve fought alongside him before.”

“Against Sovereign, yeah.” Garrus’ mandible twitched as he focused on sighting in another shot. “This feels different.”

He didn’t elaborate, and it was only a few moments more for them the claim victory and press further on with their mission.

Thane watched Shepard, and wondered what had changed in the eyes of his friend.

---

It was after the derelict Reaper, after adding a geth to their mix, that Thane’s patience paid off. At least in part.

“Your kid’s on the Citadel,” Shepard informed him out of the blue. “Lucky for you, Vakarian has some unfinished business there as well, and the techs need some time to integrate the IFF to the Normandy’s systems. I can spare a side trip for personal issues while they get that squared away. Be ready to go in an hour.”

Thane didn’t protest. Didn’t question. He could ask for details on approach to the Citadel.

They set a cold knot in his gut when he learned them. “He’s here to kill someone,” Shepard said bluntly, and all Thane could think was Like father, like son. That was not a path he’d ever wanted for Kolyat. Shepard didn’t have a lot of details, just that Kolyat was there. Apparently even Cerberus’ resources had limits.

They spoke to a C-Sec officer, then to Mouse at his suggestion--Thane was surprised but pleased he was still alive--both conversations Shepard kept as short as possible. Clearly he was not in the mood to waste time. Thane wished that hadn’t involved the commander breaking Mouse’s nose, but couldn’t muster much sympathy when the same proved true of Kelham once they got his name and interrogated him.

“We have some time, not a lot of it,” Shepard growled. “And we still need to find Sidonis when we’re done with your shit, Krios.” He turned to Captain Bailey.  “What can you tell me about this Talid Kelham wants dead?”

The picture Bailey painted--up and coming turian politician, vocally anti-human and gaining support--made it obvious why Kelham would want Talid gone. He had to be very bad for business. He was also in a very vulnerable position currently; pressing flesh on a walk through the Wards with only one or two bodyguards along for protection.

Thane had to admit surprise when Shepard was alright with them splitting up to track Talid and (hopefully) find Kolyat.

“You can’t find him alone any more than I can,” Shepard commented with a sharp smile s he and Garrus headed for the catwalks. “Stay sharp, Krios.”

As if he would do otherwise. Still, he bowed his head and asked Amonkira for strength and guidance before he vanished into the shadows, hoping they weren’t too late to save his son from a very familiar dark path.

Are you really surprised? a voice inside him mocked as Thane picked his route along catwalks and ducts, through shadows and crowds. Even if he hates you, that’s the example you left.

He shook it off. He didn’t have the luxury of internal debate right now. He had to pick out his route on the fly, keep in touch with Shepard and Garrus, plot out several ways to handle the situation that all depended on Kolyat’s behavior. And he didn’t know his own son well enough to predict that, so his solutions were all loosely structured ideas at best. Some plan was better than none.

It was a close thing, despite their best efforts. Kolyat spooked, shot the bodyguards and dragged Talid into his apartment with a gun to his head.

Shepard was only a step behind once Kolyat broke cover and very quickly had a gun pointed at him.

Thane went very still, watching this standoff. He didn’t know Shepard well enough to know what the man would do, but he knew what C-Sec protocols would be, and he could hear their approach. Shepard had been very clear about the limited time they had for this side trip, the fastest resolution--which would also fulfill C-Sec’s mandate to keep Talid alive--would end with his son dead, and Shepard was not a patient man.

Kolyat’s anger blazed, even from across the room, and he was far from willing to cooperate, his pistol pressed to the back of Talid’s head.

The loud crack of a pistol shot nearly made Thane flinch, his chest squeezing in protest at the thought of his failure. Just this one thing, I wanted to fix just this.

But Shepard’s shot snapped Talid’s head back, not Kolyat’s. The turian collapsed in a spray of dark blood and Kolyat recoiled. In that moment of distraction, Thane surged forward and twisted the pistol out of Kolyat’s hands, unsure if the tremor was adrenaline or rage.

Shepard was talking to an incensed Bailey; “No one will miss a racist asshole, I did you a favor”, but Thane’s focus was all on his son. 

“This was not the best way,” he said softly.

“What do you know?” Kolyat hissed back, struggling against Thane’s unrelenting grip.

“More than you might think.”

Kolyat yanked away as if the contact had burned him. Fury simmered in his eyes, and resentment, but he was alive. C-Sec would still have to take him in for what he’d been ready to do(attempted murder? That would likely be the charge), there would be consequences for what he tried to do, and Thane didn’t know if they even could “mend fences” as Shepard had put it. But he was alive. And hopefully could be deterred from a path Thane wouldn’t wish anyone to tread.

“Krios,” Shepard barked and Thane pulled himself out of his reverie watching C-Sec lead Kolyat away. But rather than Time to go, the commander nodded after the arresting officers. “Massani can help with tracking down Fade. You have until we’re done. I wouldn’t count on more than an hour or two.”

Thane blinked, thrown off kilter by the gesture, but recovered quickly.  “Understood.” He’d taken three steps after the C-Sec officers before he stopped and turned. “...Thank you, Shepard.”

The man waved him off, already walking away with Garrus in his wake.

---

An hour and a half didn’t go very far working through a decade of distance, but it was a start.

“Why do you stay with him?” Kolyat asked when Thane’s comms crackled with a heads-up Shepard and the others were on their way back and he stood. “If... this” --a quick gesture, more a flick of the wrist than anything, between the two of them-- “is so important?”

For you. In more ways than one. “Shepard’s mission is... critical. And there is, unfortunately, a time limit on saving the galaxy.”

Kolyat snorted at his father’s dry humor. “Right.”

“I will keep in touch,” Thane promised. “Perhaps we can meet again once this is finished. If you would like.” If I survive.

“...We’ll see.” Kolyat was staring at the table rather than him, but Thane would take it.

He nodded and headed for the door. “Very well.”

“Does he have something on you?” Kolyat asked abruptly. “With the reputation Shepard’s made, he doesn’t seem the type honorable people would be following.”

“I have made no claims of honor,” Thane said quietly, hand on the door frame.  “And with  the stakes of mission, some sacrifices may prove necessary.”

“Sounds familiar,” Kolyat muttered.

Thane made no reply, and didn’t look back as he left the room with a cold weight in his chest.

---

It ha been the right call letting Krios reconnect with his son. He seemed more centered, more focused, for having dealt with his baggage. Probably that whole ‘something to live for’ schtick. Shepard only cared that Krios did his job and the mending bond made the kid an even more effective pressure point.

Not that Krios had ever protested. Ever balked. But everyone had their limit, and if he happened to find the assassin’s, it never hurt to have a brute force solution in your arsenal. Especially as they were very close to actually pursuing the Collectors through the Omega 4 relay.

“Just a few more tests,” Lawson assured him. They wanted it to work right, after all. It’d be a real short trip otherwise.

“So,” he asked Krios, “out of morbid curiosity, who wants me dead?” There were plenty of options, he wanted to know who wanted it badly enough to hire an assassin. And it wasn’t like he currently had anything better to do with his time. 

Krios cocked his head, a flicker of what might have been amusement crossing his face. “I cannot tell you, Shepard.”

Shepard snorted and arched a brow. “Client confidentiality?”

“Client anonymity,” the drell corrected.

“You let some faceless coward point you at a target with my body count?”

“As you know, I am dying,” Krios said in that implacable tone of his. “Odds of survival were... far from troubling, as a factor.”

“And odds of success?” Shepard retorted.

This time there was definitely a small smile before Krios schooled his expression neutral. Not mocking or cocky, just... amused. “There is a first time for everything.” The faint amusement was gone when he locked eyes with Shepard. “How will we handle this, commander? When we are finished our mission, assuming we both survive, and I resume my contract to kill you?”

“Feel like giving me a day’s lead?” Shepard grinned sardonically.

“I could be persuaded,” Krios said. He shifted in his chair. “Let us see how things progress, shall we?”

You’d never know to look at the man he’d been... convinced to help with this by threat of harm to his son. He seemed perfectly at home, posture easy. He didn’t talk to the crew much, Shepard knew from EDI, but it was hardly surprising an assassin was accustom to solitude.

As if summoned by his brief thought of her, a glowing sphere materialized on the AI kiosk. “Shepard, Miss Lawson wished you informed that the IFF installation is in its final stage. For the shakedown we will need complete access to the Normandy’s systems, so it is recommended you use the shuttle for whatever you plan to undertake next.”

“Got it,: Shepard tossed in vaguely the direction of the AI. “That’ll make things tight,” he muttered to himself. He had something in mind that would likely need the whole team. They’d fit in the shuttle, but it would be tight. Last thing he needed was Lawson and Jack killing each other before they even hit the Collector base.

Krios was eyeing him with curiosity. “Commander?”

“Gear up,” Shepard said, heading for the door. “Got a search and recover that might take all hands.”

The assassin nodded and pushed to his feet, heading for his locker. “Very well.”

---

Their mission went well. Things on the Normandy in their absence, not so much. Shepard left a fully-staffed state of the art warship an returned to a picked-clean husk manned only by his pilot and the now-unshackled AI.

The Collectors had bloodied his nose, cost him his crew. Again. He’d had it.  “Ship’s not getting any more ready than it is. Joker, head for the Omega 4 relay.”

“Aye, aye,” came the determined, hungry reply.The pilot was probably even more eager than Shepard to punch back at the bug-eyed bastards.

Unlike Joker--and probably the others--Shepard viewed getting the crew back as a secondary objective to taking out the Collectors. The threat they posed to humanity ended now.

Get us there was his order, and that didn’t change when they came out of the relay having to dodge starship wreckage, or when they were harried by drones, or even when a fucking occulus busted into the hold.

“Krios, Massani, with me!” he barked, rifle in hand, listening to the scrape and thud of wreckage and lasers ricocheting off the upgraded hull on the way to the bowels of the ship. By the time they had trashed the occulus, Joker had them past the debris field and the drones, and a new problem had arisen.

New, but familiar--the same Collector vessel that he had encountered numerous times before. But this time, the Normandy had sharper teeth. “Let ‘em have it!” he ordered, a command Joker follow with alacrity Darting, looping, dodging, the pilot had them dancing around the larger ship, deftly avoiding the beam that had been their destruction before.

The surge of satisfaction at destroying the vessel was short lived, as it erupted in a fireball more than large enough to knock the Normandy into a crazy, barely controlled descent that could more bluntly be called a crash.

“Everyone alive?” Shepard checked over comms. When that was affirmative, he followed with, “Assemble in the CIC.”

This was it. A quick rundown of schematics pulled from the vessel and what he expected to find inside, a victory whatever it takes reminder, and it was time to go.

---

Than prayed silently to Amonkira as they disembarked from the Normandy. Let our hands strike true, and victory be worth the cost. There would be a cost, of this he was sure. He was familiar enough with Shepard’s methods by now there was little room for doubt. If I am among that cost, please guide my son, that his steps may trace a better path.

He wondered, if he should fall, whether his client would hire someone else to complete the task of killing Shepard or if they would let it go. He hoped it wouldn’t come  to that. He wanted to survive, to speak more with Kolyat before the end, but it would be what it was.

They split into groups, Shepard leading Thane and Zaeed, Garrus the rest of them, to serve as distractions while Tali crawled through the vents to let them pass. It was a good call; the Collectors swarmed thick enough any other plan would likely have been overwhelmed by the sheer number of them. They were not given the luxury of time for sighting in targets, so Thane stuck with his pistol--and occasionally biotics--firing, reloading, firing, with the odd interruption to scrounge more thermal clips because he’d run out.

Shepard’s back and forth with Garrus and Tali was just background noise, like the beating wings of their foes, as Thane gave his focus to the task at hand.

Tali stumbled out of the vent just as they finally reached the heavy doors barring the end of the hall. She beelined for the access panel, teetered as a couple shots ricocheted off her shields.

“Get it open!” Shepard barked as the three of them wheeled to give her cover fire. “Vakarian, where the hell are you?!”

“Almost there, a group of the bastards ambushed us!”

A Collector dove toward Tali and Thane shot it--rushed, imperfect, but the grazing shot knocked it off course long enough for him to try again. This time, it fell and did not rise again.

---

The sense of urgency, pounding Hurry, hurry, hurry through Shepard’s veins thrummed louder as the door beeped and started to hiss open. A muffled burst of gunfire reached his ears a handful of seconds before Vakarian and the others came into view, hauling ass down the passageway toward them.

“Massani, Krios! Through the door!” He rattled off a stream of cover fire, driving the Collectors to hang back for a second. Just a second. But it was enough time for the second fire team to reach the end of the passage and dart through the door.

Krios and Massani maintained some cover fire from the far side of the door, buying breathing room for the others as one by one they darted through the door. Lawson brought up the rear, her barrier shimmering out as the doors groaned on closing.

“They’re stuck!” Tali bit out, shoving one door with scraping, grinding protest along its track. Shepard and Lawson ducked through the narrowing gap just as a final shot slammed into Lawson’s shoulder and sent her stumbling.

“I’m fine,” she ground out, slapping medigel on the injury as the group of them shook off the adrenaline to register what the room held.

The walls were lined with dozens, hundreds, thousands, of the Collectors’ pods. The dingy yellow glow throughout the room spoke to them all being occupied.

Movement caught Shepard’s eye and he swung his rifle toward the potential threat. it was just one of the nearby pods; the dark-skinned, dark-haired woman inside stirred, pounding against the transparent canopy in a futile attempt to escape. Even as Tali and Krios rushed forward to try and free her, the pod hummed and the woman only had time for a single terrified scream before she simply... liquefied into a sludgy brown paste which drained away almost before his crew had time to recoil in horror.

“Commander! Over here!” Taylor fumbled with a nearby pod until a very disoriented figure tumbled out. “It’s the crew!”

That broke the horror that had frozen them, and the group surged forward to free their comrades before the same fate could befall them.

Chambers. Daniels. Donnelly. Gardner. All of them were here, as Shepard ran a mental roster, but Chakwas was the one to explain. Near as she could tell, the humans in the pods were being reduced to genetic material and ...piped elsewhere in the base through tubes, though she wasn’t sure where or why. That sounded like where they needed to go.

“We need to get them out of here,” Taylor said, hovering near a few of the engineers as they stumbled to their feet.

We don’t have time for this. “You wanna take them back, be my guest,” Shepard returned brusquely. “We need to destroy this base, but we can mange without you if it’s that important to you.”

“It is.” Taylor’s voice was firm as he tugged Chambers’ arm around his shoulders and herded the crew back toward the Normandy. “See you on the other side, Commander.”

---

Thane almost offered to accompany them; it was a lot of people for one man to safeguard. But Shepard was already snapping orders for the next stage of their infiltration. He’d be taking Garrus and Zaeed, sheltered from the overabundance of Seeker swarms by Jack, down the shortest route that followed the tubes. “The rest of you follow Lawson on the other route EDI indicated, draw some of the flying bastards off.”

Forward, then. Thane checked his reserve of thermal clips, made sure his pistol was undamaged, and fell in with the others as the door hissed open and they pressed on.

They hadn’t advanced far when the first Collectors appeared, drones and a small number of husks that were easy enough tot pick off. Their numbers only increased as time wore on, but that was the point wasn’t it? Draw them here, so Shepard could get through. Thane stood shoulder to shoulder with Tali as their squad advanced, shared his thermal clips when hers ran out first, lent what strength he could to the biotic barrier Samara had summoned to protect their backs.

“There’s a lot of them, Shepard!” Miranda hollered into comms when they were forced to take cover from a particularly large group, dotted with abominations and led by a scion.

“Good!” his reply crackled back underscored by gunfire. “Keep them the hell off us! We’re almost there!”

She hissed a quiet curse, then, “Yes, Commander!” Her fist flared blue and a pair of husks flew off the edge of the path. “Samara, push them back on three!”

The justicar nodded and the rest of them by unspoken agreement turned their focus to give the women cover fire.

“One!”

Strafing fire raked Grunt’s armor and he bellowed a laugh as he shot back. Thane admired his defiance.

“Two!”

The barrier Samar had been maintaining shrank inward in preparation. Amonkira, guide their strength.

“Three!”

The combined power of two gifted biotics exploded outward in a wash over overwhelming ozone-scented blue. Just as it slammed into the descending Collector horde, a heavy, white hot pain tore into Thane’s arm and side. 

He was dimly aware of Miranda yelling for them to move, of a hand closing around his bicep to drag him with them, of his legs moving to keep up until the gave out and he was hauled over someone’s shoulder instead. There was  rushing sound in his ears and it wasn’t until it was it was punctuated by gunfire and Miranda hollering at Shepard they were under heavy attack Thane realized it was Collector wings and not the lure of unconsciousness.

“Give us a minute, Lawson!”

“We don’t have a minute!”

Shepard’s curse was broken by static. “Vakarian, get that door open! Now!”

Time was fuzzy with the pain that swirled fresh at each jolted step of whoever (probably Grunt) was carrying him, but it still seemed an eternity before, muffled, he could hear someone calling an encouragement.

He slammed against something and the pain flared so white, for a moment he saw Irikah’s face. There was a dull murmur of voices, then a spike of numb shot through the pain and spread, blanketing, pushing back until he was aware again.

Tali knelt beside him, her omnitool just closing down as he became conscious of her presence. “Good, you’re still with us.”

“Thanks to you,” Thane rasped. He passed one hand gingerly over his injured side. The healing wound was large, like from a plasma- or other energy-based weapon rather than bullets. He could cope much better with bullets.

“You are welcome,” Tali said, pushing to her feet and offering him a hand up.

Thane accepted, but leaned against a wall once he’d gained his feet. It would take a few minutes for the medigel to truly do its work. He cast a surveying glance about as he waited. Mordin was limping heavily, Grunt, Garrus, and Zaeed all had significant battle damage to their armor....

And Miranda lay still, half-slumped against a wall, pistol resting in her limp grasp. Shepard knelt next to her, blood streaked in his stark white hair, but stood even as Thane’s gaze landed on them. “She’s gone,” he confirmed, as if there was any doubt. He half-turned, hand rising to his ear, expression flint-hard. “Got it, Joker.”

Garrus’ mandibles clicked. “The crew?”

“They made it back.” Shepard shoved a new clip into his rifle. “Taylor died getting them there.”

Thane grimaced. He should have gone along. 

“It happens,” Shepard said, as if he’d caught the self-reproof without even looking. “According to EDI, this next room’s the core. Vakarian, Massani, you stick with me, the rest of you cover our asses.”

He didn’t wait for agreement or confirmation, just strode to the console for the necessary door and and punched in the command to open it. Garrus and Zaeed followed silently, the former briefly locking eyes with Tali before the three of them disappeared down the hallway.

---

The rest of them hastily arranged themselves in a defensive perimeter, gazes and weapons trained on the two doors that separated them from the Collector forces.

Thane said a rushed but heartfelt prayer to Kalahira for their fallen, working the fingers of his injured arm to test the medigel’s progress. It would do.

The sheer number of Collectors made the task a difficult one--more than once Thane feared running out of clips for his pistol until a brief pause between waves allowed them to scavenge and share from the fallen. This sort of sustained firefight was far from his normal milieu, but this close to the end he was still determined to do his best.

They held as battle chatter from Shepard’s squad broke through the static. They held even though Mordin fell and Legion fell and Jack nearly followed, snarling and spitting curses as she struggled back to her feet. They held until Shepard’s order came over comms, “Move if you don’t want to go up with this place!”

Then they ran, Samara and Jack shielding them from as much as they could, the rest picking off the bolder Collectors even as they ran. They reached the Normandy, adrenaline surging as they gave Shepard’s squad cover fire until they were aboard as well. Joker had them rocketing toward the relay before the doors had fully closed, and the whole ship seemed to hold its breath until they were safely through.

---

As the adrenaline wore off, all Shepard wanted to do was sleep. But he couldn’t. Not yet. There were things that needed to be settled first.

Krios was in the medbay, sitting serenely still as Dr. Chakwas more thoroughly treated the nasty, half-healed burns on his side and forearm. (In sharp contrast to Jack, who was glowering and cursing about both having to sit still to let her injuries heal and being around so many people.)

“Looks like we both survived,” Shepard said without preamble. Chakwas took the unspoken cue and moved off to see to Jack.

“Indeed.” Krios didn’t move, hands folded in his lap as he sat on the edge of a bed.

“You make up your mind about that head start?”

Krios chuckled. “I believe my recuperation will be a bit more than a day, Shepard. A good time for me to visit my son, I think, and a good head start for you as the contract resumes.” His lips twitched to a small smile. “Perhaps my client will reconsider in light of your actions.”

“Doubt it,” Shepard snorted. “I get the sense their beef with me is personal. Doesn’t lend itself to rational decision making. We’ll see, I guess.” Stranger things had happened, but he wouldn’t be holding his breath.”I’m not going anywhere near the Citadel, in case the Council gets any bright ideas about me or my ship, but we can drop you on Omega before we head off.”

Krios nodded solemnly. “A fair arrangement.”

A less intelligent person might have wondered--hoped--leaving him on Omega injured was as good as a death warrant, but Shepard had seen him fight. It would take more than a set of already-healing electrical burns to put Krios at a disadvantage against the thugs on Omega. (And if they did happen to prove too much for him, one thing less for Shepard to worry about.)

“We can have you there in an hour or so,” he said. “once the doc’s done with you go get your things together.”

Krios inclined his head. “I shall.”

---

It had been a while since he was last on Omega and Thane hadn’t missed it in the slightest. Fortunately he wouldn’t be here long. Passage elsewhere was easy enough to  procure, and from there he could work his way to the Citadel. He could take some time to mend more fences with Kolyat before he resumed his hunt.

That was one thing about Shepard; he was never a hard man to find.

[izlaria]

Someone you like (part 3)

This is the third chapter of my “Someone you like” inspired fic. It’s also available on AO3 in case you prefer that platform. Please hit me up to talk about Plance!

Summary: Lance finds a better friend in Pidge than he could have antecipated.

Also, Pidge pining hour.

17 and 15 years old

“I can’t believe we have a cow.” Lance stared in awe at the animal. It looked completely out-of-place in the middle of the highly technological castle-ship. “Where did that dude even get her from?” he exclaimed, waving an arm at it. Lance gasped, lowering his voice to a whisper, “Do you think she’s… a clone?”

Kaltenecker kept on chewing, indifferent to Lance’s fussy behavior.

“Most likely,” Pidge responded. She was looking down at a tablet that contained results from the scan they’d conducted on Kaltenecker. “She is carbon-based, which isn’t such a rarity out here, but is always good to know. The anatomy also checks out with normal cow biology. The only change I could find is that her diet is more adapted to what’s available in this quadrant.”

Lance scratched the top of his head. “Does that mean she can’t eat Earth food?”

“She probably can…” Pidge tapped the edge of the tablet in a considering manner. “We eat alien food and nothing has happened yet.”

“So we’re winging it? That doesn’t sound very scientific.” He didn’t like the idea of putting their cow in danger. “Can’t you figure something out for her to eat?”

“I’m not a biochemist, Lance.” Pidge took her eyes off Kaltenecker to glare at him. “Nor a geneticist. That’s more Coran’s area of expertise.”

“Easy!” Lance held up his hands. “We can talk to him, then. I was just asking a question…”

Pidge huffed out a breath, then let her shoulders drop. “I don’t know how you’re not annoyed right now. We spent the entire afternoon in a fountain to get a freaking video game, only to realize we have no way to turn it on!”

“I actually had fun.” Lance shrugged. He didn’t really see what bothered her so much. Sure, he wanted to play Killbot Phantasm, but even the fact that they’d found the game out in the universe was enough for him. “It felt like the sort of crazy I used to get to back home.”

She fidgeted with the tablet in her hands. “Going to the mall and causing a scene?”

Lance eyed Pidge curiously. Her brow was furrowed, but she looked more lost than irritated. “Sure,” he acquiesced. “This was hardly my first time fishing out coins from a fountain.”

“It was for me,” Pidge interrupted brusquely. “I had never done that before.”

He cocked an eyebrow at her. “Really? You’re one of the biggest troublemakers I’ve met. I’m pretty sure you’re at least guilty of fraud after lying about your identity to get into the Garrison.”

For some reason, this seemed to startle her. It was almost ludicrous to think that Pidge had gone undercover without realizing the legal implications of her actions. It would be just like her, too, to get so caught up in the big picture that she simply bulldozed through every other detail.

“That was different, though.” She was pouting now, her cheeks comedically puffed out. “I was more of a homebody when younger.” Her gaze was lowered to her hands, distant. “I don’t have as many stories to tell as you and Hunk.”

“I seriously doubt that.” Lance scoffed. “Aren’t you always talking about the crazy experiments you and Matt did? I bet he will have a bunch of embarrassing shit about you that you never tell us. I can’t wait to get my hands on all that sweet, sweet blackmail!”

Lance wrung his hands menacingly, but when he looked down at Pidge the expression on her face caught him off guard. He expected her to be exasperated or at least displeased, so the tenderness in her eyes was unforeseen.

He’d been talking about her brother as if they would meet soon, Lance realized. Pidge mentioned him often, but not in detail, not in any capacity that didn’t serve to remind everyone of her mission to find her family. He guessed it felt too much like an open wound, like when Lance tried to talk about Marco or Rachel.

But maybe it did them some good, too.

“Besides, even if we never get to play Killbot Phantasm, we still did plenty today.” Lance began to count on his hand. “We stole money from a fountain so we could buy a vintage video game. We got a cow from a space mall. We were chased by an alien security guard who thought we were pirates! I couldn’t make this up if I tried!”

When he laughed, Pidge joined in. She tried to suppress it, but the air escaped through her nose and her lips quirked up in undeniable amusement. It always felt like a victory to make her laugh. Pidge didn’t let herself get distracted often.

“I don’t know,” she quipped, looking more relaxed. “You have the most convoluted stories of anyone I know.”

Although Pidge said it as if it was a bad thing, Lance could see the playfulness in the twist of her mouth. This was nice, too, because a year earlier he would have seen only the harshness in his teammate. On an impulse, he leaned down to hug her.

“W – What?!” Pidge thrashed against his arms. “Lance, let me go!”

“No can do, Pidgey.” He held on. Lance had crossed his arms behind her head, keeping her tight against his chest. “You can’t escape this friendship.”

“Yes, I can, you nitwit!” Pidge’s voice was muffled by his shirt and Lance simply pretended not to hear her. “You’re suffocating me!”

“We have Kaltenecker now, we’re her parents!” he stated happily, despite the sting of Pidge pinching his sides. “Stop, you don’t want her to see us fighting.”

Pidge let her arms fall, looking up at Lance. Her face was red and her hair stuck out from where he’d accidentally run his hands through it. “You’re ridiculous.”

There was a well-placed moo from Kaltenecker, as if the cow agreed.

Lance grinned and finally gave up his grip on her, taking a step back. Pidge immediately punched him in the stomach in retaliation.

“Ow!” he complained, though it was clear she hadn’t put any real force behind it. “We were having a moment!”

Pidge turned up her nose, but her complexion only grew more flustered. “Then you can forget all about it, like you did with Keith.”

“Fine, you win.” Lance crossed his arms, looking smugly down at her. “I did make you blush, though. I might be rusty, but old Lance still has an effect on the ladies!”

“Ugh!” Pidge moved so quickly that Lance had to hide behind Kaltenecker in order to evade her hits. When they stopped running, she kept her tablet at hand, brandishing it as if it was her bayard. “Never say that to me again!”

He stuck his tongue out at her, then had to duck when Pidge aimed the tablet at his head once more. “Jeez, you know I’m kidding!”

“Yeah.” Something in her voice made Lance shoot back up. She was staring right at him, looking more serious than he’d expected. “I know.”

Before he could ask what was wrong, Pidge walked away from where he stood and towards a panel in the back of the room. She deposited her tablet on one side, then started clicking away at a few keys.

“Coran mentioned we could reprogram the room to look like a field on Earth,” she explained once Lance had made his way over. “We could maybe get some vegetation from a planet in this quadrant and create an area for her to graze.”

“Yeah, that would be cool.” He felt almost dizzy from the ups and downs of Pidge’s humor. The coldness that surrounded her now made Lance want to apologize, but it also annoyed him. He thought they were having a good time earlier. “Introducing Kaltenecker to Earth food isn’t really the priority, huh?”

Pidge nodded, avoiding his eyes.

Despite the awkwardness, Lance didn’t want to leave. The idea of letting Pidge stay mad at him left a bitter taste in his mouth, especially after the day they’d had. She could be incessantly frustrating, but she had also grown on him.

Like a weed. A short, bad-tempered weed.

He watched in silence as she worked the panel. Her concentration was admirable, even when she used it as a way to push Lance away. It reminded him of their time in the Garrison, when it felt like every step he took in their friendship was met with two steps back from Pidge.

With the privilege of hindsight, Lance could guess how tiring the disguise must have been for her. Their studies had never been easy and Pidge had perfected her mediocrity like an art. Knowing her true genius now, Lance imagined she’d actually known it all but had chosen to keep herself under the radar.

“Are you just going to stand there?” Her tone struck a chord with him, bringing forth a familiarity that he hadn’t felt since Earth.

Lance put his hands on his hips, raising an eyebrow at her. “I’m just waiting for you, Pidgeon.”

She turned back to the panel, then took a deep breath, as if calming herself.

“I have a lot to do here,” she said in warning. After a moment, her expression softened. “Why don’t you take the game up to your room? I’ll grab Hunk on my way there and we can try to adapt everything to the castle’s power source.”

Lance could recognize her words for the peace offering that they were. He aimed finger guns at her, earning himself a snicker.

“Don’t take too long or I’ll fall asleep!” he called out as he walked backwards, towards the exit.

“I’ll get Kaltenecker to lick your hair, if you do!” she replied, attention already back to the control panel.

Lance laughed, but he knew that was no empty threat.

--

He didn’t often spend his nights roaming the hallways of the castle. Lance was a big believer on the benefits of good sleep and an established routine. It helped him maintain his complexion blemish-free and it contributed to keeping him sane when his mind felt scrambled beyond repair.

There were times, however, when not even spa days and special hair masks could calm his thoughts, and then he was stuck like this, struggling to fall asleep.

He buried deeper into his jacket. It wasn’t his normal one, but a big, fleece-y thing that Hunk and Pidge had gotten for him in their last trip to the space mall. Lance loved it fiercely. The castle cooled during the night-cycle to ensure the machines didn’t overheat and Lance always suffered for it.

A blinking light on the doors to his right caught Lance’s attention. It signaled movement in the hangar, just one of many fail-safes devised by Coran and Pidge to ensure no one was trying to mess with the lions. The light wasn’t all that worrying on its own; it was just a way to know what rooms were currently in use.

Lance was too tired to think through his actions. He moved into the hangar, not even questioning who might be in there. He wanted to see Blue. Or Red. Or anyone, really.

He rubbed at his eyes, collecting the tears that threatened to spill down his cheeks.

Sure enough, there was Pidge, curled around a set of tools and a big, wiry mess of parts. She had probably been propped up against the processing columns but ended up sliding down in her sleep.

The image filled Lance with so much affection that he found himself smiling. It was unusual to see their youngest member without her defenses put up. She was only second to Keith in her reserve, something that had initially displeased Lance about the two.

Pidge did have the habit of falling asleep while she worked, but Shiro and Hunk were the ones charged with checking on her. Lance thought she looked strangely cute like this, with her mouth a little open and her glasses askew. He’d forgotten how young she truly was, because of how smart and assertive Pidge could be. She didn’t want to be treated like a child and the whole team could respect her strength and maturity.

Even before they’d ended up light-years from Earth, Pidge had already carried more on her shoulders than anyone Lance had ever met. Despite knowing it was a vain hope, Lance wished he hadn’t made things harder for her back in the Garrison.

He crouched down and carefully pulled her glasses free. Strands of hair stuck to her cheeks and forehead, but without the too-big frames Lance could see her face more clearly.

Pidge already looked older than she had when they were students. After so many wormhole jumps, it was difficult to determine how long had passed since their discovery of the Blue Lion, but the passage of time made itself known in other ways.

She was pretty, but that didn’t surprise Lance. Pidge’s no-nonsense ways and sharp eyes had always been striking, even when he only pointed out these aspects of her as a joke.

Lance took off his jacket and balled it up, trying to slip it behind her head. It wouldn’t be comfortable, but it was an improvement to her current position.

“Lance?” Her eyes had fluttered open. From this close, he could see the fatigue that clouded them.

“Hey, Pidgey-Pidge,” he called out in a whisper.

“Hey, loverboy.” She giggled, lids opening and closing tiredly.

The nickname shot another wave of emotion through him. For some reason, Lance felt his eyes burn again.

“We should get you to bed,” he tried to say, though his voice sounded rougher than he intended.

Pidge didn’t immediately notice. She nodded a few times and sat up, stretching her arms over her head. She frowned at the pieces of tech still scattered around them, then focused her eyes back on him.

“Lance,” she sounded much more awake now, “why are you here?”

“Oh, you know,” he stalled. “Sometimes, in the middle of the night, a guy just needs to grab some food goo.” He flexed his now exposed arms. “I’m a growing boy, Pidge.”

Pidge raised a brow, looking supremely unimpressed. “Don’t lie to me.”

Lance winced a little at the terse tone she’d adopted. Even in her half-awake state, Pidge was still able to see through his bullshit.

“The kitchen is nowhere near the hangar,” she continued when he didn’t reply. Her voice was soft in a way Lance had never heard from Pidge. “And your eyes look red.”

He shifted his head to the side to escape her scrutiny. Lance half-expected Pidge to get angry at his stubbornness, so he couldn’t help the small, shocked sob that escaped him when her hand touched his chin, slowly lifting his gaze.

The worry in her face quickly changed into something understanding, an almost desperate ache that must have reflected his own expression. Without another word, Lance buried into her embrace, curved so that his forehead rested on Pidge’s shoulder.

“I c-can’t stop thinking about them,” he confessed amid his sobs. “What – What if they think I’m dead?”

Pidge murmured an “I know” into his hair. Despite their size difference, she wrapped herself around Lance so completely that he felt guarded by her arms.

“Come on,” she said once his whimpers had quieted down. “Your room is the closest.”

Lance let her move away. His knees hurt from the position he’d assumed on the floor and, now that he no longer had Pidge there, the cold of the hangar raised goosebumps across his arms.

“Put this back on.” Pidge draped the fleece jacket over his shoulders. Her hands lingered there for a moment, drawing a line in the fabric. “It’s a better coat than it could ever be a pillow.”

It wasn’t much of a joke, but Lance smiled at her. Crying made him exhausted, but not enough to ignore Pidge’s efforts to cheer him up. He stood up.

“Don’t knock it ‘til you’ve tried it.”

They made their way to his room in silence. Pidge had to stop at the hangar doors to put in the security measures, but no more words were exchanged. Lance was just glad to have company.

They paused in front of his dorm. “Will you come in?”

Pidge studied him carefully. Lance didn’t think she could see much in the dark of the hallway, but the truth was that she’d already caught him in a breakdown, there was nothing else to hide.

“Do you want to be alone?” she finally vocalized her concern. Lance shook his head, feeling his chest constrict at the possibility that she might leave. “Then I’ll come in.”

He went straight to his bed and laid down. Pidge stood at the entrance, letting the door slide closed behind her. The awkwardness was palpable and Lance couldn’t blame her for it; Pidge was not the best at social cues.

“At least sit down with me. I promise I won’t start bawling again.” He didn’t mean to sound depreciative, but his self-consciousness must have shown, because Pidge narrowed her eyes at him.

“I don’t care if you cry, you doofus.” She marched up to the bed and sat down near the headboard. “Put your head in my lap.”

Her demanding tone didn’t fit in with the gentleness of her actions. Lance was amused by the incongruity. Pidge was rough around the edges and her earlier show off affection now made her bristle, almost as if she was afraid to reveal too much to him. Lance could understand the urge to put up a front, but he was too exhausted to be embarrassed.

He rolled on his side, fitting his shoulder under her thigh.

“My mom used to do this when I was upset.” Pidge ran a hand through his hair, pulling lightly at the knots until they were undone. “The rhythm of it always soothed me. That and her, really. Mom had – I mean, she has a calming influence.”

Lance didn’t comment on her slip up. The feeling of nails scraping against his scalp was pleasing. The personal closeness was something that they also did in his family and he had missed it. He was a naturally affectionate person and the team didn’t seem to appreciate his expansiveness all that much.

“I used to do this for Veronica and Rachel,” he breathed out. “Ronie is older and she would force me to braid their hair when I was younger. I complained about it non-stop, but now I miss it.”

Pidge traced his hairline, then down to his ear, neck, collarbone. She seemed absent-minded as she did it, mind caught somewhere else.

“Matt was the one who would call me Pidge. I used to hate that nickname. After he disappeared, it seemed only right to assume it as my new name. For him.”

Lance shifted a little, so that he could look up at her. “Your real name isn’t Pidge?”

This made her stop for a moment and look down at him in exasperation. Lance suppressed the urge to laugh, but his lips still twisted into a smile, despite his effort.

Pidge flicked him on the forehead.

“I thought you were being serious!” It was funny to see her like this. Pidge usually responded to him with either blankness or sarcasm, so it was satisfying to garner an actual reaction.

“I could have been!” Lance brought a hand up to rub his stinging forehead. “You do realize you never told Hunk and I your real name?”

“It’s Katie,” she said without preamble. The only sign of her unease was that, when Lance tried to sneak another look at her face, Pidge’s fingers held his head in place, before resuming movement in his hair.

“It’s nice to meet you, Katie.” He let out a soft snicker, which Pidge mirrored.

“Nice to meet you, Lance.”

Lance fell silent, letting her touch lull him into a torpor. The point of contact gave him something to concentrate outside of his thoughts of Earth, until the sensation and Pidge were all he could focus on.

“Did you fall asleep?” she asked after some time.

“No.” Lance slowly rose up from her lap. “I don’t know if I will be able to sleep tonight.”

Pidge frowned, looking down at her hands as Lance repositioned himself to sit at her side.

“You and I are more similar than I ever thought, I guess.”

“What, you also go crying around the castle at strange hours, hoping no one else will see?” She raised a brow at him in response. It wasn’t that much of a surprise, really. Lance had known how broken up she felt about her father and brother’s disappearance. “We will find them, Pidge. I won’t rest until we do.”

The emotion in her eyes shifted. He couldn’t really tell what Pidge was feeling, but the look on her face was both sad and warm, grateful even. Lance tried to think of a time when he or any of the others had tried to support her in her search. There might have been something said when she’d first revealed her identity, but nothing stood out since.

His chest tightened with the realization.

It was possible that Hunk or Allura had spoken to Pidge privately about it, and Lance would put good money on the odds that Shiro had comforted her more than once, but that was it. Keith was quiet and broody, too dedicated to their mission to consider what the rest of the team went through. And Lance…

Lance had been too self-involved to notice. He had wallowed in his own misfortune and it had blinded him to the fact that at least his family was safe in Cuba. Pidge’s father and brother were lost in the middle of an intergalactic war, taken prisoners. Her mother thought she was missing.

He didn’t feel like he deserved Pidge’s gratitude.

“Can you tell me something funny?” she asked out of the blue. “I don’t think talking about our families is gonna help either of us sleep tonight.”

Lance let out a shaky exhale. “You’re right. I’m all cried out.” He poked at the skin under his eyes. It felt sensitive and swollen. “All that investigating for good eye masks and the work was all for nothing!” He put his palm over his eyes, playfully turning his head to the side. “Don’t look at me! I’m a shadow of my former self!”

“You’re the resident beauty guru, I’m sure you’ll figure something out.” Pidge rolled her eyes at his theatrics. She pulled Lance’s hand away from his face. “And you owe me a story.”

“Hey, how do I owe you anything?” He pouted at her. “I just saved you from getting a crick on your neck!”

She pulled more harshly at his hand, making Lance yelp. “You woke me up and I even gave you a head massage!”

It was his turn to tug at her arm, but his smile betrayed that Lance was having fun. “Fine, but then we’re even!”

Pidge finally let go of him, looking smug. He closed his hand and pointed at her face in an act of mock aggravation.

“Is it okay if I lie down?” She looked around the room, as if searching for a hidden futon where she could stretch out.

“Sure, let me just…” He scooted down and to the side. Pidge maneuvered into the space he had created, stuck between him and the wall. “I don’t think these beds were made to be shared.” He laughed.

The position wasn’t the worst they could be in. Pidge was small enough that, with her back pressed to the wall, Lance had enough space in the mattress that he wouldn’t fall over.

“This feels like a sleepover.” Her face scrunched up at the words. He couldn’t tell if she was embarrassed or just amused by the idea. “I never had one of those before.”

“Never?” he marveled.

“No need to look that surprised,” Pidge huffed. “I just didn’t have a lot of friends growing up. Not anyone close, at least.”

“Just Matt,” Lance blurted out without thinking. A shadow crossed Pidge’s eyes, but she didn’t seem upset.

“Yeah… You would like him. Matt can be as much of a goofball as you are.” She nuzzled quietly into the pillow. The lights had dimmed automatically when they laid down, so Lance couldn’t tell if Pidge was blushing or not. “It helps, you know? Having you here.”

Pidge refused to catch his eyes as she said this, which Lance understood. Being vulnerable could be scary, even when around your best friends. Still, he felt pride well up in him, glad that he had done something right towards her.

“You wanted a funny story, right?” he asked softly, the words only loud enough to be heard. Pidge’s gaze snapped to his, obviously relieved. “How about this: My first love was this little girl I met when I was fourteen. I never even knew her name.”

“That’s not funny, not really.” Pidge’s brows took a quizzical air. “How do you know it was love, then?”

“I just know. When I think about her, about that day… It felt like fate.” He saw the cynicism on her face before Pidge could even say anything. “I swear! I met her and everything changed. I don’t know if I would have met Hunk or got into the Garrison or even made it here without her.”

Pidge sighed against the pillow. “Honestly, that sounds like a lot of pressure to put on a first love.”

Lance watched as she drew patterns into the sheets between them. She wasn’t trying to be mean, he could tell.

“She doesn’t know, obviously. I didn’t even like her straight away. It’s just –” he paused, thinking it through. “It’s just funny, how much of a difference one person can make. When she talked to me, I was feeling sorry for myself. She cheered me up.”

That same day, he had met Hunk, who had later confessed that he’d only approached Lance because he’d appeared to be in a good humor. Without Hunk, his best friend, Lance might not have tried out for the Garrison. And, without the Garrison, he wouldn’t have been in Arizona to find the Blue Lion.

“Is she why you are so obsessed with fate and such?” Pidge teased. She was yawning every few seconds, but there was a smile on her face.

“You shouldn’t knock fate down.” Lance grinned, trying to bat her hand away from the sheets. They had bunched up a bit due to her movements. “It got us into space and closer to your family.”

Pidge made a face at him, then shrugged. They’d had this conversation before, about what had led the three out into Garrison grounds that night. Pidge argued that it was bound to happen, with how often she went out to search the radio frequencies, but even that fell back into Lance’s claim that they were all destined to become the new paladins of Voltron.

“I just think that love is about commitment,” she murmured, eyes already closed. “It’s about choosing one person and then falling in love with him, even when he’s obnoxious, even when he’s…” She trailed off, having fallen asleep.

Lance chuckled at her little speech. It was nice to think that someone would eventually choose to love him, forever. He felt comforted not only by the idea, but by Pidge's slow breathing, the heat of her hand so close to his chest. His own lids felt heavier and heavier. Lance closed his eyes.

[kyluxtrashpit]

2020 Fic Recap

I really like writing these and 2020 has been a HELL of a year, so here we go lmao. It’s been a wild ride for sure

Total wordcount: 88 109 words (note: I’m subtracting the ‘sorry I didn’t finish this, here’s a summary of the remaining plot’ that I published for a fic in a previous fandom from this since it’s not relevant here). Overall I wrote less than last year, but given all that happened in terms of the world and personally and fandom-wise and all of it, I don’t feel too bad about it lmao. I also have a lot of WIP words of half-finished things and some planning and such so I feel okay with this

Favours, 4906 words, posted Jan 4

This was a weird one cause this is a two chapter reader insert fic, the same story but told with both Phasma and Hux. I originally wrote this for Phasma, but later decided it would be easy to tweak into a Hux story (which it was lmao) and figured people might like that, so I did both. I had fun doing it, even if this is kind of a very small niche ship and trope wise

Know Your Shadow, 5022 words, posted Feb 16

Ah yes, here we are, the first foray into renben, a ship I had NO idea would grab me so hard but here we are lmao. I’m not done with them either yet, don’t you worry. There’s something about the corruption angle I really like, also Ren is HOT, and it’s also interesting to think about Kylo truly getting to find himself and be who he wants to be. Canon didn’t really satisfy on this, but the concept still interests me and it’s what had me writing this fic. Also, Ben losing his virginity to an older man like Ren is just *chef’s kiss*

Public Indecency, 3719 words, posted Mar 1

And my second renben! This was partially inspired by art and partially by just the idea of not giving one single fuck, and how thrilling that must be for someone like Ben to experience. Ren and the KOR truly do not give a shit and it’s really beautiful in a way. Plus some hinting at found family with the KOR. Ngl, Ben/Kylo finding his place and acceptance with the KOR makes me so Soft and there’s so many words I could write about it. Plus public sex is very hot lmao

Beautiful, 3254 words, posted Mar 8

Back to kylux, and this one was an old WIP I started back when the prompt was first posted on KHK in like 2019 or something. I got stuck on it and then left it for a while. I was digging through my old WIPs, looking for something that might catch my interest and boom, this one did, so I finished it and then posted it. I quite like the fic and it’s a bit more in the ~classic~ style. It’s also always a good feeling to get an old WIP done lmao

Choose Your Destiny, 5077 words, posted Mar 20

More renben and this was my fix it fic for ROKR vol 4. I talked about this more on twitter at the time and why I found the story as it was unsatisfying, but ultimately it’s really just a case of rushed writing and playing into established bad writing (e.g. showing a fall from grace by having someone kill someone eviler than themselves). I also really liked Ren and I felt like Kylo didn’t really get to have enough agency in like... any of it. His motivations were weirdly absent as well, despite this being ostensibly about him. So I wrote this, which I think handled how the story should have gone a lot better and, plus, it’s got smut!

(Okay and the rest are behind a cut for length)

Show of Devotion, 2479 words, posted Mar 28

Renben once again and this time, I mean, it’s all inappropriate use of lightsabers lmao. I was looking at the Ren and was like ‘wow that is SO phallic’ and then the horny brain turned on and, well, here we are. I also wanted a side of found family with the KOR and I think got that with this. It’s horny. It’s fun. What more could one want?

Aural, 2729 words, posted May 12

Okay this one... I have absolutely no excuses for lmao. I’m not even sure where the inspiration came from, I just remember I was in an online work meeting that was boring and the entire sequence of events played itself out in my head. It was all I could do to focus on work for the rest of the day and not immediately write this cursed creation lmao. The worst part was I’d been totally blocked on writing since March and this, THIS, was what eventually broke out of me. In case you haven’t read this one, it’s ear sex. Hux’s dick, Kylo’s ear. No, I don’t know the logistics either. But hey, I had a blast with it, both in terms of writing it and the reactions lmao. Someday I gotta write a follow up involving a nose too

Missed Chances, 10 749 words, posted Jun 7

Ah yes, this is the point where my renben met my kylux and created this absolutely enormous peanut butter cup of a fic lmao. It really was supposed to be like half the length it was, but alas, it was not. Also cockblocking kylux was SO hard, they wanted to fuck SO bad, but I had to stop them, the story demanded it lmao (and people in the comments were MAD, which is always excellent). It’s also when my renben series really started to have like, an overarching plot (aside from the modern au fics which I’ll talk about later). I even still have more instalments planned

Free Use, 6971 words, posted Jun 23

Another one that turned out far longer than initially planned, and also my most popular fic this year! I’m both surprised and not cause like. It’s a complete smut fest + my heavy headcanoning of the personalities of the KOR. People like smut, but I also feel it’s kinda niche considering how deep I’m in for the KOR lmao. So idk, I guess the smut won out. I did have a lot of fun with this one and there’s a lot of characterization thought put into each KOR, so it was really nice to see people loving that as much as I did. Canon gave us crumbs, but I just used them to make meatballs

Eat You Up, 1573 words, posted Jul 5

There’s not a lot to this one, it’s really just renben rimming cause the sexual dynamic with renben is so fun. Kylo/Ben is inexperienced yet eager and depraved enough to impress Ren, which is something considering I think of Ren as Very Experienced lmao. I really do love this ship; it’s a lot of fun to play with

In the Vents, 2002 words, posted Aug 3

Ah and this was my first piece for the stuck inside event on twitter, which I had a lot of fun with. Stuck fetish is one I’ve always wanted to explore, but never had any concrete ideas for. This event led to me finally getting to have Kylo stuck in a wall (plus more as well), which was fun. Also I spent far too long thinking about Hux’s vent contraption set up cause I knew he would never let Millie go anywhere that might hurt her, so I had to come up with a way to make the vent safe and here we are lmao. Hux being an engineer and also the most extra cat owner in existence worked out very well indeed. This was also the start of my creativity boom near the middle-end of the year that uh kinda burned out in a not so great way, but I’ll talk about that later lmao

Distraction, 3658 words, posted Aug 6

Another for the stuck inside event and another kylux/renben sandwich! Also featuring the KOR this time! Listen... it’s a gangbang, it’s got renben, it’s got kylux, it’s got Kylo getting stuffed from all ends... this is the kind of fic that, to me, is pure indulgence lmao. I had a tremendous amount of fun with it

Entrapped, 3484 words, posted Aug 8

So this was also for the stuck inside event (yes, I wrote 3 fics in about a week lmao - I don’t know how I did it either) and it’s darker than the sort of things I usually write. I enjoyed exploring something like this though, something outside my usual purview. It didn’t perform super well, but tbh the dark ones rarely do so lmao

Pit Stop, 1505 words, posted Aug 31

Welp, this is just an excuse for watersports lmao. I like piss, what can I say? And I’ve done it to kylux, so I had to do it to renben, and the modern au ‘need to pee on a road trip’ seemed like the perfect opportunity for it. Not much to say for it really

The Deal, 2431 words, posted Sep 3

Ah and this one here was the first for the throwback event I ran on twitter! The event itself ended up kind of being tainted by drama from one singular person who kind of ruined it by being a jerk for literally no good reason, but I’m not going to talk too much about that. Even with that, I still greatly enjoyed it and this piece might be my favourite from it as a whole. Kylo Amidala, political scandals, neither of them being nice... ahhhh yes, it definitely brought me back lmao

Devotion, 1929 words, posted Sep 10

Another for the throwback event, this time with Emperor and Hound dynamics which, unf, yes, I will literally never get tired of it. I really had fun with every fic from this event and this one was great because I so rarely get to write real action scenes, even if they’re in a flashback here. That and the dynamic itself really made it fun

To Be Wanted, 10 473 words, posted Sep 16

Ah yes, and here is my KBB for the year! I did a minibang this time, as, well, everything was going horribly wrong around the time of sign ups and I thought a mini would be more realistic. I think I was right on that and I’m glad I did it, even if I was torn at the time. The idea itself is one I’d been thinking about for a while. I can’t remember if I thought of it after seeing the leaks for tros or after watching the movie itself, but it’s been with me for a while and while I dithered over whether or not to sign up this year, the idea came back and was just perfect for a minibang. Plus I got an absolutely amazing and wonderful partner, which is really what makes the experience of doing bangs so great. I love this fic, I LOVE the art for it, and the whole experience was definitely a highlight to 2020 as a whole, both overall and in terms of my fandom/writing experience this year

Floss Me, 2033 words, posted Sep 21

My third for the throwback event and also the dental fetish fic I’ve wanted to write for a while now lmao but could never figure out a scenario for. As some of you may remember, 2018-2019, I went through some pretty horrific dental stuff and ultimately I think it kinda gave me a fetish lmao. Also I feel like there may or may not have been a kinky flossing prompt on one of the prompt sites at some point, but I looked everywhere and couldn’t find it so. But anyway, it was a fun fic for a kink I think is quite underrated tbh

The Cost of Certainty, 2541 words, posted Sep 25

My fourth and final piece for the throwback event, and this one is also a contender for my favourite piece from that event. I have always loved the idea of Hux being a serial killer and this was a perfect excuse to write it. I’d also recently finished a rewatch of Hannibal and, well, you can see where this came from lmao. I love writing tension and it was just very fun all around. I almost wish I’d done something like this as a long fic but tbh I don’t think I would’ve enjoyed writing it as much

Huxloween Drawings, 676 words, posted Nov 1

So this isn’t a fic but rather the drawings I did for huxloween, but people wanted them on ao3, so posted they are. Now, I mentioned above that I had this massive creative boom in Aug-Sep, but that it burned out rather badly. This is when that happened. I got into this place where I just... felt like everything I made wasn’t wanted or needed in the fandom. That everything I like is so unpopular at this point that I should just give up and leave. That I’ve spent all this time and energy over the years trying so desperately to get people engaged and so few ever cared and I just... ugh. It was bad. It was really bad and definitely partly fuelled by the bullshit that someone brought up regarding the throwback event (and I still believe that they are the sole cause of it’s poor reception). I, uh, am doing better now and still working through it all but it was a really rough time. But I found myself still wanting to be creative so I decided to draw. I am not good at drawing. I am not an artist. But that’s what made it fun: I went into each drawing knowing it wasn’t gonna look great. That wasn’t the point. So I never got upset about it. I think it helped me a lot tbh and I did really enjoy it and I’m glad I did it

Unconventional, 7243 words (in progress), updated Dec 20, first posted Nov 18

So the next part of me trying to fix the bullshit in my brain creativity-wise was to post the first chapter to this fic. This is a piece I’ve been working on since 2016-2017 (I don’t remember exactly when, but it was pre-TLJ, and I’ve gotten a new computer since so I don’t have the original creation date of the document) but I could just... never get a plot together for it and ever since I abandoned a fic in my old fandom (and this year I finally posted the ‘sorry this isn’t getting finished, here’s a closure summary’ chapter), I’ve been hesitant to post WIPs before being at least 80% done. So I said fuck it, I’m gonna post this and not be scared. Is this fic complete? Nope, but the plan is starting to come together. Do I know exactly where it’s going? Nope, but I don’t need to. Is it self-indulgent as all hell? Absolutely. I love this fic and I love this story and I love the concepts within it. So I posted it and tbh, it really helped. And I think this, combined with my writing break where I drew for 31 days straight lmao were really my saving graces here

Test Run, 3661 words, posted Dec 31

And now my final fic of the year! Which is a ship I honestly wasn’t super into (I don’t hate it, it just generally doesn’t do much for me) but then I did that thing where I thought ‘hmm but could it be written in a way that I am into?’ which, in my experience, always leads to me writing exactly that. Which is what I did here lmao. I’m pretty happy with it though and despite it being very strange to write, as I really had to work to get these two to get where they were going lmao, I had fun with it. I honestly doubt I’ll write more of them, but I’m glad I wrote this one, and I think it’s a good experiment to close out the year with

What have I learned?

Honestly, this year was a clusterfuck lmao. 2019 wasn’t great for me either, but we all lived through this and it was certainly An Experience. I think what this year really helped me focus on was what made me happy. I ended up in some dark places and I don’t want to go there again. It feels repetitive to say that, once again, I have learned that writing what I want is key when I say that every damn year, but tbh I think 2020 underscored it even more so. Spite as a motivator, when used to much, smothers the spark of creativity and the joy of creation. The most important lesson I learned this year by far is to not let that take the driver’s seat. A dash here and there? That’s fine. But as your main motivator? That’s just not healthy. And I need to work to keep it from consuming me like it has been for too long

Goals for 2021?

So last year I didn’t set any hard goals and boy, is it a good thing I didn’t, cause I achieved none of them lmao. I didn’t write more words (though I did write more individual fics, and the word count gap between this year and last is about the size of the difference between a big bang fic and a mini bang fic so really, I think I did okay), I didn’t even write a single fic for BTHB, and, to be really honest, I did not manage to keep my love for writing alive the whole time. I was in a really dark place a few times this year, but that drop in Sep-Oct was the worst from a creative standpoint. I feel like I’m mostly out of it now, even if I still have some work to do maintaining it. I’m hopeful for the future in that regard. The only thing I really did accomplish was that I feel positively towards all the fics I wrote; I’m happy and proud of all of them

So what is my goal? Honestly, I feel like every year I have to relearn the lesson of ‘write what you want, have fun, be self-indulgent, fuck expectations, etc.’ and my goal this year is to not have to relearn that again, but to keep that energy and carry it with me for the whole year. I realize I may have to put some effort in there, but I’m okay with that. I don’t know what 2021 has in store, but if I can just keep my passion alive and not fall into that pit again, I’m calling it a win