#I give it regular workouts on top of meds

[count-the-lilavatis]

Headphones are nice, but water is Mandatory.

What can I say, I'm a thirsty bitch.

I always bring a book just in case but today I forgot and now I'm bored on the train, so

reblogs appreciated!

[vneuns]

i found a baby on my doorstep

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↬ pairing: cc!dream x reader

↬ genre:

↬ summary: The last thing Dream expected was to find a baby at his front door and his upstairs neighbor to be a hot babysitter who just might make his life a hell of a lot easier.

↬ warnings: cursing, dilf dream, Jorge being stupid for five minutes, Sapnap being a hot uncle and a ladies man, Quackity getting yelled at 24/7 for something dumb, Karl being confused every chapter, and Emma being sick and tired of all the men around her.

↬ note: the long wait is over!! baby daddy will now be updated on a regular schedule just because i want to get it over with ;p

↬ edited by: @ttakinou my beloved

↬ banner by: @mitzimania

↬ layout by: @basilly

© cherios 2021. all rights reserved. do not copy, repost, or translate my work

Exhausted from the workout he had just done, clays' body slumps against itself. Closing his eyes to shield him from the blinding lights of the treacherous elevator. Not noticing he was going down to the lobby instead of up to his floor, the blonde was confused when a woman stepped inside, talking on the phone.

“I know, I know, I understand.”

The words that fall out of her mouth sound as sweet as honey and it catches the attention of the sweaty man behind her.

“Thank you so much for the opportunity though.” And with that she hangs up letting out a sigh of air as her shoulders slump. “Bad day?” He speaks up causing the woman to jump in her skin looking behind her at the man she had just now noticed who had stunk up the small elevator.

“You could say that.”

She pushes her phone inside the pocket of her jacket looking down at her doc martens, not in the mood to hold a conversation.

“Well as one of my stupidest friends has told me countless times, every day is a bad day, what you do to switch it around is what makes it better.”

Clays heart seems to grow an inch bigger at the smile he can just barely see make its way onto her lips.

“You’re friend doesn’t seem too stupid.”

“He attempted to put a fork in the toaster while it was on for an experiment.”

The elevator door opens just as she arrives on her designated floor. Just before stepping out she looks back at him.

“Thanks for the pep talk, sweaty.” She giggles to herself at the pet name she had given him, walking out before he could say a word.

Stunned at the fact that he made conversation with someone who wasn’t in his household or behind a screen and not to mention a woman, after only going outside and downstairs for certain things.

Going up a few floors with a little pep in his step, the blonde stops dead in his tracks when he notices another blonde baby in front of the door to his apartment.

His eyebrows furrowed as he looks around for a camera or two.

“Why is there a baby on my doorstep..”

Moving around the carriage as if it has cooties, Clay unlocks the door to find his four best friends in the living room watching something on the TV.

“Guys, whose baby did you steal?”

Alex’s eyes widen as he makes a run for it down the hall before a door closes. Sapnap looks back down the hallway with a puzzled look on his face.

“We didn’t steal a baby, who would steal a baby?” George questions, getting up and going to see what the hell his best friend was talking about. “I would.” the ginger says flatly relaxing in his recliner chair that he had pissed on so no one else would sit in it.

Karl blinks at the boy in the recliner, turning his head. “Why would you steal a baby?”

Clay watches as George kneels down picking up the note that was left on top of the pink and white poke, a dotted fuzzy blanket.

Dear Clay,

I didn’t know how to tell you this but after we broke up I found out I was pregnant. I didn’t know what to do or how to tell you so I kept it a secret. The little bundle of joy in the car seat is yours. ( and I have the DNA test to prove it. ) Her name is Emileigh Rose Smith, I know weird spelling but I was high off of the pain meds after birth so give me a break.

She was born August 9th. Thought it'd be weird if i surprised you for your birthday with a baby you had no idea about, but anyways I’ve decided to take an acting job in New york and thought it’d be best for her to live a normal life with her father.

yours truly,

Cynthia

Shocked, the man kneels down next to George to get a good look at his daughter. When she sees him she gives him a big toothless grin. He takes notice of the small dotted freckles across her features and how they have the same color eyes.

“Woah, she looks exactly like you.” Karl points out after curiosity got the better of him and wanted to see the baby as well.

“She really does.” Sapnap adds all four of the boys mesmerized by the little girl who seemed to already have them all wrapped around her little finger.

“IT WAS AN ACCIDENT.” Alex yells a fake baby in his hand.

tags: @inniterhq @basilly @yamturds @dysfunctionalcrab @siriushxney @sqpnap @tinyegg @ttakinou @charnease @i-mmunity @b3l0v3ds @alice-blue-skies @the-swageyama-tobiyolo @mitzimania @joyfullymulti @dreamzluvrr @catsandeggs @watcherunsolvedwastaken @moonamor @unstableye @alexxalovesmilfs69 @sapnapspandas @froggys-things @bunnydrm @spencerreidwhore @teenage0jealousy @mintchip17 @daisy-rot @err0rnan0 @shincikamiya @n3versatisfied @homemadeteaaaa @lissa-duh @marrymetheonott @oliviassrodrigo @maddieisaturtle @alm334 @foodismybeloved @beepbopbee @dreamyteam @rottenroyalebooks

[shokano19]

Dr stone characters as types of TikTokers

Warning: Contains manga spoilers for new characters! You can skip those you don’t know! 

Not sure where this idea came from exactly but I got super into it and it was really fun. Consider these to be my headcanons for a dcst AU where they don’t get petrified and instead everyone is TikTok famous. 

Senku

- science 101 - makes educational videos aimed generally at students struggling at school with subjects like biology, physics, chemistry, robotics, engineering, and astronomy, explaining them thoroughly and in a simpler form - random astronomical facts #n - goes live when he’s about to do a reaction experiment - wants to show his viewers how exhilarating science can be - rarely shows his face - tries to incorporate humour into his talks - it becomes evident he’s passionate or excited about the subject by his little chuckles - “visiting my father at NASA before rocket launch” - Taiju sometimes takes over his account as a lil prank - on everyone’s for you page with minimal effort - 14M followers

Gen

- magic tricks - social science veteran - shares psychology hacks he learned throughout his career - props his phone on his cola bottles to film himself - CEO of accidentally dropping his phone on the floor - Senku’s fanboy. Reacts to Senku’s videos on occasion by acting extra and makes a huge deal out of rare pictures of Senku - posts cut scenes from his magic show then makes separate videos revealing how he performed a certain trick - cynical, dark humour - makes his viewers question their moral compass - gets a lot of compliments for his hair - 10.5M followers

Chrome

- step by step 3 minute crafts - Senku’s fanboy #2. Video duets with Senku by building the same things as him, praises Senku a lot  - geology student studying mineralogy - storytime! - regular shout-outs from Senku - always has his precious rock/crystal collection displayed behind him as he films a video and makes sure to show them off every once in a while - 2M followers

Kohaku

- trash talks men without stuttering - films herself in front of a mirror most of the time - zooms a lot into her face and stares into the camera while speaking, looking dead inside - dimmed disco lights - ironic and sassy - usually spits facts about anything she talks about - confident vibes - ayo famous relative check (Lillian Weinberg’s niece) - her duets are cruel - 1.9M followers

Ginro

- the POV - makes relatable yet obscure videos - some questionable scenarios no one can explain - yes he wears a big towel on his head when impersonating girls   - includes Kinro in his videos a lot - anime weeb - always posts at unholy hours - refined sense of humour - majority of videos are taken in his bedroom - lowkey annoying - video replies to hate comments by either faking acting hurt and crying or sarcastically going along with them as a massive fuck you - 69k followers and he would like it if it stayed that way

Kinro

- beautiful scenery shots - only has a few videos, mostly nature and places he went to with his family and friends - “top 5 places you must visit this summer” - secretive about his account, no one except Ginro knows about it - 7.9k followers - after a while he switched to making ASMR?? which gained him fame overnight and now has …. - 45k followers (Ginro’s current worst fear being Kinro surpassing his own follower count)

Magma

- unpopular opinion guy - reacts to popular tiktoks and attempts to review them (for fun, he’s a jerk for clout) - loud af, angry & narrow minded - makes valid points sometimes - dislikes kohaku’s content (probably because he feels called out) - tried to cancel Senku and failed miserably - a lot of people disagree with his hot takes - ignored the haters but got some serious threats :( - considered quitting making tiktoks so he took break - apologized to those he insulted after some reflection time - now half of his account are just apology videos - people follow him for the tea  - 500k followers

Suika (aged up)

- the animal lover - mainly videos of Chalk being adorable, Suika teaching him tricks…and him wrecking the house - “animal crossing new horizons island tour” - “my top 10 favourite cartoons” - 11k followers

Tsuakasa

- long political talks - disputable ideals - renowned martial artist  - became famous after appearing on a broadcast program with Gen and won against him in mental battle - informs on what’s currently happening in the world - has a lot of supporters as well as haters - “today’s society is flawed because - ” - encourages viewers to write their opinion in the comments - reads every single comment as well as replies to them - occasionally talks about his childhood, the good and the bad - 7.6M followers

Ryusui

- chaotic - reviews popular console/pc games of any genre - youtube channel linked in his bio - the type to walk into his bathroom and say funny shit - bombards Tsukasa’s comments section with stuff like “drop yo workout routine plz” or “your hair looks so soft I bet it smells like roses” to which Tsukasa can only reply with “please leave me alone” - generally in everyone’s comment section. He’s everywhere - bi king - super friendly and approachable - ayo rich house checkkkk XD - flexes on his personal mini yacht  - 5M followers

Francois

- quick, stylish and helpful cooking tutorials - shares rare recipes - pro decorator  - worked at 4/5 star bars, restaurants and clubs - non-binary icon - sometimes in the background of Ryusui’s videos until a lot of people asked about their relationship and revealed that they also works as Ryusui’s personal chef - 3.2M followers

Ukyo

- variety content creator - gives walkthrough’s of his job as a sonar technician - sneakily exposes his workplace’s secrets while he’s at it too - likes to gather the kingdom of science and make dumb silly videos together - archery tips for beginners - starting a new language tips - video reacts to tiktoks he finds interesting - became popular after appearing in one of Gen’s q&a videos - after that he collaborated with many others such as Senku, Chrome, Ryusui - close to everyone - appreciated for his talents - 980K followers

Yuzuriha

- fashion icon in the making - shares her everyday outfits - talks about her favourite clothing and where she bought them from - DIY accessories - cute couple videos with Taiju - fun sewing lessons! - promotes her online shop - 330k followers

Hyouga

- the type to stand in front of the camera and cover the screen with writing instead of speaking - known for his lip care routines (owns a lot of lip glosses and lip cosmetics) - occasionally takes off his mask for lip care videos - Homura is always behind the camera helping him film - kudayari spear practices - Helps Homura promote her Instagram account - tries to keep an aesthetic - trips abroad vlogs - 770k followers

Mozu

- cringey e-boy - lip-syncs  - dances  - it’s so obvious he’s fishing for attention - secretly films Kirisame for a laugh, ends up with him running for his life as soon as she finds out - expect to get second-hand embarrassment - exaggerates a lot - needs to be stopped - does tiktok challenges with Kirisame (has to beg for her to agree) - Kohaku, Luna, Gen and Nikki have him blocked - Hyouga and Kirisame are literally the only ilr friends he has :,( - 420k followers

Luna

- popular girl wannabe - desperate to get on the for you page - everyone loves her though <3 - poses in front of the camera wearing her best clothes while cute music plays in the background - complains about how she’s STILL single - pros and cons of going to med school - reads a bunch of funny tweets and almost dies laughing - recently started following Senku and can’t shut up about his content - 200k followers

Bonus: all of them tried at least once, if not more, to recreate complicated dances that went viral on tiktok. Yes, even Senku.

Coming up with usernames for them is beyond me right now so feel free to add to these however you like!  ( ✧≖ ͜ʖ≖)

[visionsofus]

I suggest the song "Where the Shadow Ends" by Banners for your mixtape fic. It's beautiful and melancholic, but also hopeful. It's given me a lot of inspiration for WandaVision fics lately.

Ahh thank you so much for this song!! I totally get what you mean with it being kinda sombre but also hopeful! It’s captured so perfectly in the lyrics too. Sorry it took me a while to get around to this - but better late than never ✨

Track #12: Where The Shadow Ends by BANNERS 

| read on AO3 here | mixtape playlist | send me an ask with your song/prompt request |

synopsis: Wanda falls ill at the compound and Vision panics. Surprisingly, her illness gives them an opportunity to talk about their feelings. Wanda comes to terms with putting faith in her feelings and in Vision.��

All things considered; Wanda probably shouldn’t have gone to the gym when she did. But Steve had offered to help her with some of the new equipment the compound had ordered in and Wanda knew she pushed herself harder when faced with his superhuman training schedule.

She didn’t feel too bad at the beginning of the work out, going through the motions of warming up. She worked out most days because if she didn’t her body suffered after missions. So, she persisted even when she was tired and her muscles were sore, and apparently, even when it was pouring with rain. She’d quickly regretted her decision to go on a run despite the threatening grey sky. By the time the rain had started Wanda was too far into her run to turn back and had stubbornly refused to call anyone at the compound to come pick her up, instead walking all the way back as her wet shoes started to rub blisters into her heels. Thanks to an hour in sopping wet clothes, battling a harsh wind all the way home she’d woken up with a temperature the past two mornings.

But when she’d checked her temperature a few hours ago it seemed the fever had finally broken, and she was so restless that she didn’t hesitate to accept Steve’s invitation. A mistake she was going to pay for.

The warmup had her feeling a little woozy and lightheaded but not terrible. Things quickly went downhill as she started her usual activities. Just as she picked the dumbbells up to start on her triceps a sudden wave of dizziness hit her full force. Wanda vaguely remembered Steve calling her name as the dumbbells hit the floor with two resounding thuds and she promptly passed out.

Vision was stuck in a research spiral when he distantly heard the Compound AI say his name.

“Currently fetching recent message from Steve Rogers,” the robotic voice said from the speaker in the ceiling and Vision tilted his head as he listened. “Wanda has passed out in the gym, please prepare first aid.”

Vision didn’t give the AI the chance to repeat itself, launching himself out of his seat and phasing through the wall. He was used to quick thinking, easily able to make split second decisions based on a variety of possibilities, but this was something different. He didn’t thinkhe just moved. Within seconds he was phasing through the floors of the compound arriving in the basement with such force that his feet split the tiled floor on impact.

“What happened?” Vision asked with such fervour that he might have reprimanded himself for snapping, were he not so taken aback by the sight of Wanda’s limp body in the Captain’s arms.

“We were ten minutes into our workout and she just dropped to the floor,” Steve explained not hesitating to hand Wanda over to Vision’s waiting arms.

“She has a fever,” Vision said as he gathered Wanda up, holding her close so he could support her head against his chest. She was burning up, her breaths coming in short bursts that concerned him. How had her temperature gotten so high and why hadn’t any of them noticed her getting ill? Most of all, how had he let it slip his attention?

“You get her upstairs while I get a drip.”

They both started up the stairs, Vision trying not to jostle his unconscious cargo, too concerned to try phasing, even if the stairs were frustratingly slower. They parted ways at the ground floor as Steve hurried to the med bay and Vision continued to Wanda’s bedroom.

He kicked her door open with his foot and brought her over to the bed. As he set her down atop the navy covers, lifting her up to slip another pillow under her head, Vision wondered if it might have been better to just take her straight to the infirmary, or better yet, the hospital. But Wanda was notoriously unpredictable when it came to waking up in unfamiliar environments and had taken out a wall the last time she had passed out and woken up in the infirmary. Her own space was better, for now. Vision brushed her hair off her sweating forehead and Wanda groaned softly, shivering in her feverish state and reaching for the bed covers.

“No, no,” Vision murmured pulling Wanda’s hands away as she attempted to pull her covers up over her. She might be feeling cold, but Vision estimated her temperature was nearing 39C. While he waited for Cap to return with the drip Vision hurried to and from the kitchen and her bedroom, carrying with him a bowl of water and a cloth. Distracted, he managed to spill about a quarter of it along the hallway. He was just laying the cloth gently atop her forehead when Steve arrived in the doorway, IV equipment in hand.

“How did she get this fever?” Vision asked as Steve set down the mobile frame and hung the bag of liquid from the top. It was rare for illness to travel around the compound when so many of them were unable to fall sick, though there were far more serious conditions that could cause fever.

“She got caught in the rain on Wednesday, must have caught a cold from that,” Steve replied connecting the tubing and handing the other end to Vision as he prepared the needle. “She didn’t tell you?”

“No, she didn’t tell me,” Vision murmured, stoutly ignoring the little part of him that disliked Steve knowing something about her that he didn’t. He instead focused on finishing the IV, taking a little bit of tape from the first aid kit to secure the tubing to Wanda’s bare arm.

It wasn’t really a surprise that he hadn’t known of her rainy run. In the last week Vision had barely seen Wanda, something he found absurd because he lived just down the hall from the room they were currently in. And, well, the rest of the team often described them as being ‘attached at the hip’. Unfortunately, it seemed Wanda was excellent at making herself scarce when Vision tried to be near her these days. She was clearly trying to set a boundary, which Vision would understandably accept, if only he could understand what it was for. There had been no big change between them that he could identify, if anything they’d been getting closer, but it was as though she’d decided she didn’t like spending time with him anymore.

“I should have told her to go easy with the exercise,” Steve said, more to himself than anything, but Vision silently agreed.

Vision sighed quietly and perched himself next to the unconscious Wanda, removing the cloth from her head and submerging it in the basin once more. “She needs to look after herself,” he murmured, “or at least let someone else help her.” Vision avoided meeting Steve’s eyes following this admission, knowing that behind thissomeone else meant himself.

He wrung the cloth out and returned it to her scorching skin, delicately wiping at her cheeks and neck. Though she seemed more peaceful now and her breathing more regular, he was still on edge. Hopefully the fluids would start to do their job and her temperature would come down, but if this continued through the night, he’d call a doctor.

“And are you alright?” Steve asked, he’d retreated to the wall and was leaning against it now with his arms folded. “You were fairly shaken up down there.”

“Yes,” Vision replied quietly, not wanting to speak too loudly lest they wake her up before her body was ready. “I don’t like seeing her like this.”

Steve hummed thoughtfully. “And everything is alright between you two, other than this? It’s like she runs out of the room whenever she sees you these days.”

“I do not know if everything is alright, I thought things were maybe changing between us, but then she began avoiding me,” Vision sighed, tucking Wanda’s hair back from her face. As he did so she stirred slightly, her head tilting into his touch. She mumbled something incoherent.

“She’s been through a lot. A connection like the one you two seem to have,” Steve cleared his throat, “uh this intimacy I suppose, could be scary and unfamiliar. I could be wrong, of course, I’m just speaking to what I’ve seen in the last few months.”

Vision didn’t reply and continued wiping at her forehead. He often spent more time watching than talking, he spoke when it was of value and only with Wanda did he find himself speaking freely. To have Steve identify this insight about their relationship made him realise that he wasn’t the only one monitoring the interpersonal connections of his teammates.  

When he didn’t reply Steve pushed himself off the wall and headed for the door. “She’ll probably be hungry when she wakes up, and you know what they say about chicken soup and the flu. I’ll go to the store.”

“Good idea,” Vision said absentmindedly.

He sat with Wanda quietly for another half hour, replacing the basin of water once and continuing to cool her forehead down. At one point he had to stand to put the blinds down as the late afternoon sun started to hit the side of the compound and streamed through her windows, casting them in a golden light. Otherwise, he was simply content to sit by her side for the first time in a week without her scurrying out of the room or pretending like he wasn’t here.

He rested his chin on his hand and gazed at Wanda’s shelves and the growing collection of items she’d collected on their travels to personalise her room. A snow globe from Atlanta, a framed picture of the team from their first big mission together, a newspaper clipping, one of the few that spoke kindly of her.

“Was I wrong,” he murmured to the air, “to think we were becoming something more?”

“Vis?” Came Wanda’s quiet voice and Vision was surprised to feel her fingers brushing his knee. He turned to her to see she was blinking blearily up at him.

“You’re ok,” Vision assured her instinctively, moving closer to lift the cloth from her forehead. “How are you feeling?”

“Like crap,” she muttered thickly. “Can I have some water?”  

“Just a moment.” Vision stood and sped out the room and to the kitchen where he hurriedly filled up a glass and was back at her side in seconds. She managed a soft smile when he reappeared, the first smile he’d seen in a week, which almost had him stumbling as he returned.

He offered his hand to steady her as she sat up a little and took the water from him. When she leant back once more, her eyes were on him darting about his face and he quickly schooled his expression to be free of the worry nagging his heart.

“Is there anything else you need?” Vision asked.

“No,” Wanda sighed sleepily, “just rest I think.”

“Would you like me to leave?” Vision nearly kicked himself for saying what he feared out loud, for providing such an easy opportunity to let her push him away again.

“No.”

“You don’t sound sure.”

In silent response Wanda turned her head away from him and bit her lip.

“You’re ill and tired, we shouldn’t have this conversation right now,” Vision said, aware of the fact that he was buying time for himself before she could give him the answer he feared.

“Please don’t be angry,” Wanda said and then so quietly, Vision thought he had imagined it, “it’s for the best.”

He’d been ready to stand and leave the room but at this took one of her hands in his, squeezing it in what he hoped she took as reassurance. “I am not angry at you, I could never be angry at you. I am worried.”

“But I’ve been avoiding you without explanation,” Wanda huffed raising her free hand to rub the sleep from her eyes.

“Well, I suppose there is that,” Vision relented, “but please know I would never be angry at you for wanting space, I admit I was hurt but if you could explain things to me, if there’s anything I’ve done that you haven’t liked—”

Wanda laughed, or it sounded like something close to a laugh, coarse and cynical more than anything. Vision stopped mid-sentence and looked down at his hands. Distantly, he registered the sound of the front door opening and closing – Steve was back just in time.

“I should go,” Vision said sadly, standing up to leave, “Steve will bring you some soup.”

“Wait no,” Wanda said sitting up and her hands flying out for him. “I wasn’t laughing at you, I swear.”

He could tell she wasn’t lying and slowly let her pull him back down to the bed. Wanda slowly leant against the pillows once more, this moment of exertion had evidently taken it out of her. She closed her eyes even as her hands remained tight on his arm. “The fact that you think you could ever do something I don’t like, is ironic, that’s why I laughed.”

“Ironic?” Vision asked.

Wanda sighed quietly and moved her hands from his arm to his hands, holding them tightly as though prepared to stop him from walking out again. “You want me to spell it out, huh?”

He said nothing.

“I owe you an explanation I suppose,” Wanda said and despite how peaky the sickness was making her look, her cheeks gained a little more colour as she spoke. “You’ve been too good to me, the best part of my days is when I’m with you, I pulled away to see if what I was feeling was real. I thought if I could go a little bit without you then maybe what I was feeling wasn’t that serious,” she jerked her chin to the IV stand next to her, “but my assumptions were correct.”  

“So,” Vision began raising his eyes to meet her unwavering gaze, “what you’re saying is…”

“I’m falling for you and I’m scared about what that means for us,” she said and took a deep breath, “and of losing you.”

“You cannot lose me if you don’t have me,” Vision replied, “and perhaps youcan put aside your feelings. I, however, cannot.” It was true, if this week had taught him anything it was that he needed her in his life, by his side and if she let him, as something more.

Wanda’s eyes shone happily for a moment before she seemed to reign herself in. “I thought I could stop how I’m feeling,” she murmured, “I thought it was for the best, I thought I could protect myself.”

“We could protect each other.”

“Until one of us isn’t there,” Wanda said cynically, “I know this isn’t the kind of job we get to retire from.”

“Is that not more reason to pursue this, while we can?” Vision asked leaning closer.

Wanda didn’t have an answer to this, and Vision felt as though he had said enough for her to think about. He stood up, keeping a hold of her hands for as long as he could before he was forced to let go, stepping away.

“I will go and see if your soup is ready.”

Steve sat with Wanda while she ate the soup, her mind doing backflips over her conversation with Vision.

She wasn’t expecting Steve to be so forthright with his questioning, but he asked her as soon as she finished eating. “Have you fixed things between you and Vision?”

Wanda tried not to let her mouth hang open in surprise. “Not yet,” she muttered letting her spoon drop against the bowl and pushing it towards him.

“I’ve never seen him scared before today, you really gave him a fright.”

Wanda didn’t reply, letting the information sit with her even as the guilt began to fester.

“I don’t say that to make you feel bad,” Steve said, as though reading her mind, “I’m telling you so you know how much he cares about you. I mean he’s a synthezoid, Wanda, we used to worry he wouldn’t feel things and now the problem is him feeling too much? Do you not feel the same?”

Wanda stealthily avoided this question, she hadn’t even confessed the full extent of her emotions to Vis, she wasn’t about to let Steve in on her closely guarded heart just yet. No matter how much his counsel usually helped her. “I just feel this great wave of darkness waiting just beyond our horizon,” she said quietly, afraid to admit the brewing shadows she’d been feeling for months now. “Like something big is on the way, something we can’t stop.”

Steve’s brows furrowed at this, but he persisted. “Wanda, you of all people know how much your own mind can be your biggest enemy,” he said, “so is that really reason enough to ignore the light? Avoiding sad emotions doesn’t necessarily make us feel happy, so what makes you think running from happiness will stop you ever being sad?”

When she was still quiet, he pushed further. “You’ve had more darkness in your life than anyone should, but here’s an opportunity to add a bit of light to those shadows, are you really going to say no?”

She opened her mouth to answer but this time didn’t have the opportunity as Vision phased through the wall, pausing when he saw he’d caught the pair deep in conversation.

“I didn’t mean to interrupt,” he said quickly, but Cap was standing up, taking the empty soup bowl with him.

“It’s ok, I was just leaving.”

Vision pressed his hands together as he walked around her bed hesitantly, keeping his distance. “I wanted to check in on you before bed, are you feeling better?”

“Much better,” Wanda said, but she still felt a little feverish and like she might need to sleep for a week.

“I am glad to hear that,” he murmured, rubbing at the back of his neck, “if you need anything in the night I’m just down the hall.”

“Can’t you stay?” Wanda blurted out before she could lose her nerve again. “Please?”

“If that would help,” Vision replied, and Wanda swore he turned away to hide a smile. When he looked back at her she patted the bed, gesturing for him to join her.

He was careful not to jostle her as he laid down, and Wanda openly admired his grace even as he shyly avoided her gaze.

“I admit I probably wouldn’t have slept tonight; I’d just keep coming in to check your temperature,” Vision conceded as he lay his head against the pillow and Wanda turned to face him. Then, more hesitantly, “Please don’t push me away without warning again.”

“I promise,” she replied without hesitation. “Perhaps I wasn’t sick because of the rain, maybe it was more complicated, like my heart giving up a little when I stubbornly tried not to listen to it.”

Vision chuckled. “I think the rain definitely didn’t help, but your heart makes a good point.”

Wanda smiled tugging the pillow further under her head and placing a hand under her cheek. She scrunched her nose at Vision, unable to stop smiling and extended her hand in invitation. He accepted, bringing one of his own hands up and intertwining their fingers, kissing the back of her hand tenderly.  

“And have you decided to listen to your heart?” He murmured, kissing her hand to punctuate the question.

“I have a very stubborn heart,” she relented, “I couldn’t ignore it even if I tried.”

“I’m glad to hear that,” Vision said smiling at her and shuffling closer.

Wanda pushed back against his chest and Vision immediately halted. “Wait.”

“What’s wrong?”

“You’ll get sick.”

Vision laughed. “Wanda, dear, I am a synthezoid, you couldn’t pass your illness onto me even if you wanted to.”

Wanda tilted her chin up at the challenge. “Well in that case.” She pulled him close and pressed her mouth to his as she’d wanted to hundreds of times. As though in celebration, the lights flickered out and the door slammed shut, submerging them in darkness that had Wanda laughing in embarrassment at her magic’s overreaction. Now cast in shadow, the only light was the soft glow of the mind stone atop Vision’s head, and the faint gleam of his eyes in the night. She used them as guidance to kiss him again, and again, and again. Finding no reason to stop until she felt him smile against her mouth, pulling back a little so that their noses were still brushing and the breath between them was shared. She was done with running from this, not quite sure how they had ever been able to hold themselves back from each other.  

[makeup-remover-cleansing-balm1]

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[megwritesfanfiction]

Let Go, Chapter 4/?? (Raven/??)

Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans. This is a work of fiction that I am not making a profit off of.

A/N: Yay regular updates! Here is the next installment…

Do you need to catch up? I got you! ->

Chapter One Chapter Two Chapter Three

WARNING: THE FLASHBACK CONTAINS MENTIONS OF SELF MUTILATION AND SUICIDE. THERE ARE ALSO SMALLER MENTIONS OF SELF HARM IN THE CHAPTER PORTION AS WELL! 

Flashback

“Raven?” Robin murmured, sleepily looking at the empath standing in front of him. “It’s,” He paused, turning to look at the clock on his nightstand behind him. His naked hazel eyes squinted, adjusting to the bright digital lights. “It’s four thirty in the morning. What is going on?”

Raven’s smile was hazy as she stumbled against the doorway, damp hair curling around her face. “I-“ She started, chuckling a little bit. With her shoulder pressed against the frame for support, she raised her bloodied wrists to him. “I’m gonna pass out. I need-“

“Oh god!” Robin panicked, grabbing her arms as he tried to stop the bleeding. “What happened?”

That question really didn’t require an explanation.

He could see the long slices wrists to elbow, clearly self inflicted. “Why would you do this?” He whispered pulling a shirt from the floor, circling it around her arms. “We need to get you do a hospital.”

“No.” Raven protested, shaking her head. “Doesn’t matter. I just need you to help me bandage m-”

“You don’t get to kill yourself because you’re afraid.” He snarled. Eyes stinging with tears, Robin pulled her into his room. “Eyes open, Raven!” How was he supposed to get help? If he released her wrists, she was going to be bleed out.

Raven slid down to the floor, eyes fluttering shut as her head fell between her shoulders. “I took,” Her breathing was heavy as she laughed lightly. “Took a bottle of morphine from the Med Lab. Calm down.  It doesn’t hurt.”

Christ. “How many pills did you take?”

“Couple hand fulls.” She murmured, head dropping.

“I need you to hold your arms up.”

She laughed. “No point.” Her eyes were glazed and dull.

“I need to get help.” He was trying to stay calm. “You need to keep your arms up, so we can make sure blood is going to your heart. I’m going to get Cyborg, he-“

“Doesn’t matter.” Raven looked at him sadly. Her head slumped back as tears slid down her cheeks. “He won’t let me go. I tried.” She lowered her arms, looking at her handy work.

She hadn’t expected death to come quickly.

Raven understood the mechanics of the method of suicide she’d chosen. There was nothing romantic about bleeding out in her bathtub alone, but she figured it would be the most practical thing for her to do. The bathtub would make it easier for her friends to clean up her mess and give her enough privacy for the act.

Jumping off the tower meant confronting her fear of falling.

Hanging left too many things to chance, and she wasn’t thrilled about choking to death if her neck didn’t snap.

She didn’t like guns, so she wasn’t even gonna bother with this.

And to ensure her success and ease her nerves, Raven had taken a fist of pills before sinking into the warm water to cut.

The second cut had come easier than the first, and it only took seconds for her to be surrounded by crimson.

Raven closed her eyes, her forehead resting against the tile as she waited for death. Her heart and breathing slowed, and the world seemed to swirl around her.

Darkness never came though.

She sat in the tub watching her blood drip from her gashes under her fingers were wrinkled and soft. Soft evil laughter from her father bubbled in her head when she realized death wasn’t coming.

Frustrated and scared, she stumbled out of the tub to Robin.

“Trigon?” Robin asked slowly.

Raven nodded, her teeth clenched as felt her face bloom with embarrassment and bitterness. “I thought if I wasn’t here, I couldn’t complete the prophecy. What was I supposed to do?” The tears were flowing freely now.

“Not this! This isn’t the answer.” He never thought he’d be thankful for Trigon, but Robin couldn’t deny that Trigon’s will was keeping Raven alive.

The stab of failure burned in her chest as she cried drowsily. “I think I left blood in the hallway.”

Robin placed a hand on top of her head affectionately as he sighed. There were so many things he wanted to talk to her about. “I’ll take care of it.” They could talk when the bleeding stopped. “Are you gonna be okay?”

Her laugh was bitter as she started sobbing, “It’s not like I’m going to die.”

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Flash Forward

They drove until candy wrappers covered the dashboard, empty soda bottles littered the footwell of the passenger seat, and their bodies and eyes ached.

When Roy’s jaw stretched with a yawn fierce enough to crinkle his eyes and slow his acceleration, Raven decided it was time for them to find a place to rest. About twelve hours into their trip, they’d made through Nevada and were somewhere in central Utah.

“Ya know,” Roy started, rubbing his hands together deviously as he paced around their room. They’d checked into a modest inn that neighbored a restaurant. The area around them was quiet enough to hear the soft spring chirp of awakening insects, but close enough to see the lights and energy from a city near by.

Raven sat on her bed, pulling her knees to her chest. Her head tilted against her thighs with interest.

“I think I’m going to see if the restaurant has grilled cheese,” He grinned. His eyebrows wiggling playfully as he sleepy stretched his arms above over his head.

“How are you hungry?” She murmured looking at him with disbelief.

“I am a growing boy.”

“You ate a grilled cheese sandwich that had to have five pounds of cheese on it,” Raven yawned, shaking her head at him.

He rolled his eyes, waving a playfully dismissive hand. “Exaggeration.”

“You also ate the other half of my sandwich, and your fries.”

“Yes,” he confirmed, leaning against their door unimpressed.

“You have a tapeworm.”

Roy howled with laughter. “Driving makes me hungry.”

“I’m afraid to see what you eat after a good workout,” she commented seriously.

“Hey, it’s vacation,” he told her opening the door. “I’ll worry about the calories and consequences when we get to Steel. You want anything?”

Raven wrinkled her nose, moving to her backpack. “I don’t think I’m hungry enough to eat-”

“Said no one ever.”

“I think I’m just gonna take a shower,” she commented. Taking out a pair of pajamas, Raven reached for her bag of toiletries as she yawned. “If they have unsweetened iced tea, could you get me some?”

“Unsweetened?” Roy questioned his eyes narrowing to judge her jokingly.

“Yes.” She stuck her tongue out at him impishly. “Could you please get me a small order of fries, too?”

“Unsweetened tea and small fries?” He slowly backed out of the room, shaking his head in disappointment. “Who are you, woman?” Roy shut the door with a wink before Raven had the chance to roll her eyes at him.

She released a heavy sigh, allowing her shoulders to curl over toes as she stepped into the small bathroom. Quickly pulling her clothes off and kicking them to the corner, Raven didn’t give herself time to analyze the sea foam tile and pale bubble gum pink porcelain. She turned the shower to the highest temperature the dial allowed, clenching her fists as the water burned her skin.

Her day had been as close to perfect as it had ever been.

She and Roy drove in comfortable silence, stopped for peanut butter cups, chips, and soda, listened to bad pop music, ate a gut busting amount of grilled cheese, and had pleasantly silly serious conversations.

Raven learned about his ability to easily memorize song lyrics and his love of for the cooking channel. She was able to share her unapologetic secret love for ‘Pretty Pretty Pegasus’ without him making a comment or grimace of surprise.

She’d had a good day.

With a good friend.

Her transition to Steel City was feeling like the right decision.

So, why did she feel so upset?

The sleeping arrangement had made her uneasy at first. Granted, they were sleeping separate beds, but they were feet apart. Raven made it a habit not to share her a bed with any men in the past.

Extracurricular activities were fine, but sleeping was a solitary act.

This was business. She’d shared a sleeping space with male teammates in the past. Raven recalled sharing a tent with Cyborg, Nightwing…

Changeling.

Roy wasn’t any different.

Raven placed her hands against the tile as her fingers twitched with pain. Her eyes fluttered dizzily as her teeth sunk into her bottom lip, steam clouding the bathroom as she whimpered.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

“Leave it alone.”

Changeling growled, pulling his phone away from his ear to look at the screen. “Leave it alone? She walked out on us without saying goodbye!” He sighed, placing his hand against the counter as he patiently waited for her answering machine. “And now she’s ignoring us!” He screamed into the phone.

Starfire lowered her head as she carefully stirred the simmering tomato sauce. Her eyes shifted to the irritated changeling and back to her cookbook as she listened to the scene behind her.

“Or she’s being a responsible driver by ignoring her phone when she’s at the wheel,” Nightwing told him, carefully molding meatballs at the island counter. His transition from Robin to Nightwing wasn’t just a professional transformation. Nightwing was a reminder that he hadn’t turned into his reclusive mentor, and he intended to see that didn’t happen.

“Yea, or-“ Changeling stopped, ears twitching at the sound of Raven’s voicemail. “Raven! You don’t get to blow us off like this! We’re supposed to be your friends, you don’t sneak out on your friends in the middle of the night like a fucking thief!” He knew he sounded mean. After ten unreturned calls and an unmentionable amount of text messages, he didn’t really care.

Starfire‘s eyebrows raised as she listened to the rant.

Nightwing shook his head, “Yelling at her isn’t going to help.” He couldn’t deny his pleasure in his friend’s distress.

Anger was certainly more favorable than apathy.

Changeling sighed deeply. “Call me back please,” he added softly, throwing his phone to the table. “How are you so calm about this?”

Nightwing shrugged, happy his mask hid his eyes. “It makes sense. Titans East is down two members since Mas y Menos left. We have six people on the team, and Raven expressed interest in the East Coast.” And escaping the harsh truth and pile of bad memories that lived with her on the West Coast.

“When the hell did she express in the East Coast?”

“It doesn’t matter.” Nightwing could have probably made up a random occasion Raven mentioned it and the changeling would have been none the wiser.

“She emptied her room-“

Starfire stopped stirring her sauce, placing the lid slowly on the pot. “Why did you enter Raven’s room?”

“It’s not her room anymore!” Changeling shouted, slamming his palms to the counter. “Her stuff is gone! No posters, no creepy statues, furniture covered in sheets- I don’t understand why no one else thinks this is suspicious. Raven just ups and decides to move across country, and we’re just sitting here like nothing’s happened?”

“Well,” Nightwing sighed. “I think we need to respect Raven’s decision.”

“Yea, well,” Changeling grumbled cruelly, picking up his phone. “I think Raven needs to answer her damn phone.” He angrily dialed her once more, holding the phone to his ear.

She owed him, them, an explanation.

Changeling didn’t have a word to describe his relationship with Raven. In the beginning, he didn’t consider them to be friends; but somewhere between the Beast and the end of the world, they evolved into something beyond teammates and friends.

He didn’t have a for name it, but his emotions were clearer as he listened to the droning ring of the phone for what seemed to be the hundredth time.

Anger.

Frustration.

And, some uneasy feeling that twisted his stomach and made his chest tighten.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Her skin was still pink after she dried and dressed herself in a pair shorts and an oversized sleep shirt. The scalding shower helped to empty her mind and reset her senses.

Raven turned off the bathroom light, shaking out her wet hair as she walked back to her bed. She reached for her backpack. Digging in the front pouch, she pulled out a plastic bag filled with small plastic orange bottles and gave it a small jiggle.

An SSRI or two.

Something for panic attacks.

A sedative to be used as needed for insomnia.

A collective array of random vitamins and supplements.

With a heavy sigh, she plopped to her bed. She skipped her dose yesterday. Raven pulled out one of the SSRIs, reading the label carefully.

May cause drowsiness. Be careful when driving or operating heavy machinery.

Can cause blurry vision.

Take with food.

Read the medication guide that comes with this medicine.

Or not. The intermittent shame and unpleasant side effects on the bottle were enough. The long list of warnings and scary side effects were enough.

“So…” Roy’s voice echoed through the room as he entered with a big brown bag of food and large styrofoam cup. His eyes went right to pill bottle in her hand and the long scar on her wrist. “I,” He cleared his throat, casting his eyes to the side wall. “I, uh-“

Raven tucked her medication into the well of her lap. Her cheeks burned as she buried her hands in her lap turning her arms inward to hide her scars.

“I got you some chicken tenders to go with your fries.” He commented, setting the bag on the small table. Roy slowly walked over to her.

“Thanks.” She nodded, stiffly accepting the unsweetened tea. Her fingers curled around the styrofoam cup uncomfortably as she avoided his gaze.

Roy nodded. “No problem.” Shuffling out of jacket, he walked over to the bathroom. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

“Okay.” Her body hunched over the pills in her lap.

He stood in the doorway, hands pressed to either side of the doorframe as he waited for her to move.

Why wouldn’t he go away?

“Raven?” Roy called hesitantly.

She sighed slowly, still avoiding his eyes. “Yea.”

“It’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

She slowly, turned to face his soft jasper eyes. Her body relaxed, back moving to rest against the headboard of her bed. Raven picked up the bottle in her lap, eyes falling to the long light pink scar trailing down her forearm. “I-“

“You don’t owe me an explanation.”

Her chest clenched, feeling helpless. “I’m fine,” she told him with a sure nod.

“I know,” he assured. “No judgement.”

“I-“ She started, words failing her. Nightwing was the only person who knew about her suicide attempt. She never had to say the words to anyone outside of the monochromatic walls of Iris’s office.

“You don’t owe me an explanation, and you don’t have to ashamed,” Roy told her softly. “We all have a cross to bear.”

She smirked, “I didn’t know you’re religious.” It was easier to joke with him.

“I’m not.” His smirk was light and comforting as he disappeared into the bathroom. “I just have scars too.”

Raven’s teeth sunk into her bottom lip, swallowing the urge to talk to him.

[itsnotelvesexactly]

Dunno if this will help (and none of this is intended to be medical advice; I'm not a doctor and I'm definitely not your doctor) so I'm sharing in case it does help. People with ADHD have brains that don't process dopamine correctly, and this leads to a higher likelihood of substance abuse, since stimulants and other drugs can increase dopamine levels, temporarily relieving some symptoms.

There are things that might increase your brain's dopamine in the short term without destroying your liver or ruining your life including exercise, meditation, and structure.

Exercise increases dopamine and can calm your brain for a little while, and there's evidence that regular exercise can have positive long-term effects. Twenty to thirty minutes of cardio is great for this. Go for a walk or a run, hit the gym, put on one of those silly 80s workout videos and follow along, anything that gets your heart rate up and moves your muacles.

I find that meditation helps calm my scatteredness. I like guided meditations, since they give you something to think about instead of insisting you think about nothing, which I basically can't do. There are plenty of free videos on YouTube and some apps offer free meditations as well. The ones I like usually mention "grounding" or something like that.

Structure is a little more nebulous, but for me a big part of it is figuring out what I want to do and breaking it down into pieces small enough to be doable without too much effort. I adore lists for this. It's very satisfying to check little checkboxes next to to-do items, too. You have to break things down really small, though. As an example, I want to sew a jacket, so my list looks like 1) find a pattern online, 2) buy the pattern, 3) make list of yardage and notions needed, 4) buy supplies, 5) print pattern, 6) tape pattern together, 7) copy pattern to tissue paper, 8) cut out tissue paper pattern, 9) pin pattern to muslin fabric and cut pieces, 10) sew test jacket together, etc. etc. If I'm struggling with the next task on my list, I'll break it down into smaller pieces, for example, if I'm stuck on 7, I might do 7a) find tissue paper and pencil, 7b) clear off the table, 7c) lay out pattern and put tissue paper on top, etc. etc. And you can break anything down like this. Chores, morning/evening routines, projects, whatever. It helps me with the "oh god what do I need to do next it's all overwhelming" feeling I sometimes get.

There are other things you can do to structure your life so that you are working with your ADHD instead of against it. You don't have to do things in ways that are hard for you, just because the easier way is "weird". Crowdsource these tips but take stuff on the internet -- including this post! -- with a grain of salt. I like Catiosaurus (YouTube and TikTok), r/ADHD (Reddit), and whatever pops up under #actuallyADHD on Tumblr. I've also found books to be helpful. My favorite is "Order from Chaos: The Everyday Grind of Staying Organized with Adult ADHD" by Jacyln Paul. I got it from my library. If yours doesn't have it, ask a librarian if they can order it or inter-library loan it for you.

In the long run, ideally, you want therapy and possibly medication. Medication is a personal choice many people decide against, but it's important to know that medications prescribed for you by a doctor at appropriate dosages are not any more addicting than eyeglasses or insulin. They also aren't a cure, just part of the treatment. Make information-based decisions not fear-based ones.

If your current meds aren't working for you, talk to your doctor about changing them. It's a process and not usually a fun one. If your GP isn't willing to change your meds and you have the means, I 100% recommend finding a medical professional just for managing your medication. Mine is a Mental Health NP in the same office as my therapist and it's brilliant. I am fortunate that the first medication I tried worked well with no major side effects, but I did need several dosage changes.

As for therapy, it is helpful for ADHD alone, but ADHD is often comorbid with other issues like anxiety or depression which can exacerbate symptoms of ADHD if left untreated. A good therapist can determine if you have any other issues, provide tools to help you manage your mental health, and help determine which of those tools are most beneficial. If you're not vibing with your therapist, don't give up! It might take several tries before you meet one that really works for you.

Is any of this as easy as it sounds in this post? Of course not. Much of it takes time, money, and/or executive function skills that we don't always have. But maybe some of it will help some of the time, and it's worth it to try.

Hey ADHD Folks

You ever drink far too much alcohol so brain can slow down enough for one FUCKING minute so you can actually ENJOY something?? Anyone else?

Because I just did that, and I’m already on as much ADHD meds as they’ll allow, and it’s not ENOUGH.

I’m exhausted from being in my own head.

Any advice?

[edierone]

Antes de la Guerra

From a fic request by @emceecapitalc, who wondered - based on this piece of the trailer, made giffy by @tatianagmaslany- how the hell a couple of 50-somethings could fight assassins on no notice after years out of the game ...

It started out as just exercise — a joyless 30-minute pre-dawn burst of cardio at the zero-frills gym one sketchy block from the hospital, three days a week. Kept her weight down and her heart healthy, even if it was broken.  

But later, when she and Mulder fell into spending weekdays at the place she kept in town, he started accompanying her there, and as they regained fitness, the old competitiveness kicked in — they gradually got up a little earlier, stayed a little longer, started adding some weights to the routine.

They never spoke to anyone else there, never looked into any of the gym’s other offerings, just pushed themselves, a team of two again.

Then one frigid spring evening, she has to help subdue a psychotic patient and despite her old skills kicking in, he almost gets the better of her. That’s when she starts asking around (among certain women) for a trainer — who materializes one morning at the gym, seemingly from out of nowhere.

Eduardo doesn’t offer any personal details, not even a last name; his accent (in what few words he does say) is similar to that of Irina, Scully’s best surgical nurse, so they think of him as Honduran, whether or not that’s the case. He’s somewhere around 30, and has two inches and 25 muscled pounds on Mulder — lithe, ripped, and with the wingspan of an NBA center.

He makes them for law enforcement immediately, despite the years since they’ve been in the field, but he asks no questions about their service — or why they need his — and they pay him in cash.

Under Eduardo’s tutelage, four brutally early mornings a week, they both get leaner, harder, more flexible. Mulder quietly gives up his teenage junk-food diet — it won’t support this kind of training — and when Scully finishes the last of the bottles she picked up during BevMo’s most recent 5-cent wine sale, she doesn’t restock. They sleep better, they fuck more, they both stop needing their occasional anti-anxiety meds.

They don’t tell Eduardo when they’re back at the Bureau, but one steaming marshy 5:15 a.m. that summer, he straddles Scully as she bench-presses her last heavy rep and says in his calm but deadly-serious way: “You ready for fight?”

Mulder, who’s right there spotting for her, guides the bar from her shaking arms into the rests before he grabs a fistful of Eduardo’s painted-on tank top. “What the fuck did you just say to my wife?”

The next few seconds are a blur, at the end of which Mulder finds himself on the floor with the other man’s knee on his chest, and Scully held in a chokehold with Eduardo’s free arm.

“I say, you ready for to learn fight? I can teach you.”

He releases them and stands, as unruffled as if he’s just offered them tea and scones.

The things that have been bothering them lately, the feathery edges of paranoia about what lies in the shadows and what they might have to face now that they’re officially back in the mix — it takes but a second for their minds to connect in the old way, one live-wire glance between them, for both to heave out a yes.

Not here, he says; he’ll come to them. He warns them that they’ll get bruises, scratches, headaches, “make your whole house a mess” — they understand, they agree.

Eduardo may be a man of few words, but he delivers on every one of them.

It’s the oddest working partnership they’ve ever had, Mulder reflects one morning as she’s helping him get his arm into the sling that had been necessary after Sunday’s session: “We pay a guy money to come into our home twice a week and kick our asses — a guy whose real name and origin story we do. not. know, I might add — and then we’re so pumped, we have more sex than a couple of horny teenagers. Not that I’m complaining about that last part.” She laughs, agreeing, then scrapes her nails over his newly-chiseled abs — and once again, they’re almost late to work.

A week later, Scully hobbles gamely into the Hoover with a boot cast on her right leg and a yarn about jumping into a too-shallow pool; the fact that she actually sprained her ankle vaulting a stair rail in her apartment building with Eduardo in pursuit seems somehow implausible as an explanation. She’s not sure why neither of them are telling anyone about their increasingly-rough combat and evasion lessons, but they’ve apparently decided to keep it to themselves and pretend they’re just regular middle-aged agents with a normal level of field readiness. It’s that old instinct for cover, she supposes; better to let your enemies underestimate you, no matter how nebulous those enemies are.

She’s forced to explain herself at the hospital, though, when the department head stops her after a meeting for a little chat about how “ever since you’ve moved back in with your husband, Dr. Scully, I’ve been noticing … things that concern me. Now, I’m not judging, or implying — and of course this is off the record — but as your friend and a fellow medical professional, I have to ask: This contusion on your face — can you tell me how you got it?” She’s not sure Dr. Parekh buys the krav maga explanation, but it’s all she’s willing to say.

That evening, out at the house, is the first time she manages to fend off both Mulder and Eduardo, teamed up against her in an exercise Eduardo called “you get attack by two big motherfuckers, they gonna take you and put you in the trunk.” Her feral scream of victory as she stands astride Eduardo’s “dead” body leaves her voice raw; by the next morning, having traded control back and forth all night in bed with Mulder, she can barely speak at all.

The situation gets weirder, but so gradually that they barely notice: Eduardo stops texting in advance of showing up, and sometimes just accosts them — even in public places — with no warning. He turns off the power to the house, makes them fight in the dark, all three against each other. He handicaps them in various ways — handcuffs, zip ties, one of them dragging the faux-unconscious other. They switch from toy-store blasters to their real pieces — unloaded, of course, with safeties on and fingers nowhere near the trigger.

And then one day, they realize it’s been a week since they’ve seen Eduardo. Figuring they should keep in fighting trim, they turn off all the lights, pursue each other in the dark, end up fucking their brains out on the hardwood floor of Mulder’s office.

A week becomes two, then almost three. They improvise workouts, but start to worry that whatever brought Eduardo to them in the first place has found him.

Just when Mulder is about to start putting out feelers, they get a text from an unknown number: tonight 11 Go to the place I find you argue about if that girl isa good actor or no

The parking garage underneath the AMC Bayview 20 Theatres is deserted at that hour on a Monday. They go, expecting to engage — nerves alight, muscles tensed, adrenaline high. But there he is at the farthest, darkest end — not leaping at them from the shadows, but leaning against a ’70s Mercedes in $300 jeans and an ancient wool overcoat, looking like the scion of an old and wealthy family. He holds his arms up, palms toward them in a gesture of harmlessness, as they approach warily.

He gifts them with a rare smile, and they respond in kind, glad to see him unharmed. “I have to go now,” he says. “You not finishing you training yet, but you gonna be ok.”

“Where — why are you leaving?” Scully asks, half-aware of the bad form of asking that kind of question of a person who obviously wouldn’t or couldn’t answer truthfully. Eduardo just smiles again, shaking his finger at her.

“Best you not know. Come here.” He holds his arms out to them both for a hug. Pressed close to them, he murmurs quickly, with some urgency, “You know I am not Eduardo. I am not Adrian either but — is who I am for now. Entiende? I see those scars at the gym, I see how you together against everybody, all the world, is why I teach you fighting. I don’t know who you fighting, but you ready when they come, yes?”

Then he pulls back a little, turns to Mulder, and kisses him deeply, one arm slung low with the palm flat between Mulder’s shoulder blades — though he hardly needs the leverage — and the other caressing the back of his neck. When Eduardo breaks the kiss, he pivots immediately to Scully, brings her in like a dance partner and lifts her almost off her feet as he dips low to kiss her — a soldier going off to war.

His smile when he lets her go is brilliant but profoundly sad. The two of them stand there, blinking and stunned, as he backs away, opening the car door and shaking his head at them. “You should both have kick my ass for that,” he says with a rueful laugh. Then, soberly, he adds, “Buena suerte, my friends.”

“Buena suerte,” they mumble uselessly as he drives off, their hands finding each other without so much as a downward glance; he’s right, it’s the two of them against the world, and in that moment they’re conscious of just how much better prepared they are for whatever might come — will come.

They’ve never been this sharp, not even with the advantages of youth. And a few weeks later, when strange headlights come bouncing up their private road, they find that Eduardo was right: They are ready.

-------------------------------- @today-in-fic

[northshorehealthandfitness]

[caption id="attachment_63839" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Tone House[/caption] You hoist 20-pound dumbbells like a weight room hero. You speed through sprints with a smile. And you toss, twist and slam med balls with the toughest of crowds. But, do you put as much effort into your workout recovery as you do your strength and endurance? Taking time to show your muscles some TLC after all that hard work could provide the push you need to not only feel better, but perform better, too. And you don’t have to wait until you’re sore or injured to give your body extra attention. In fact, many fitness studios now make post-workout recovery even easier — and more enjoyable. Check out the list of classes below that offer foam rolling, compression boots and more to give your muscles the five-star treatment. Plus, learn tips from their trainers about the best ways to soothe soreness and speed up results right at home. RELATED: 5 Scientifically Proven Ways to Reduce Muscle Soreness

3 Fitness Studios with A-List Recovery Perks

[caption id="attachment_63835" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Tone House[/caption]

1. Tone House

Instructors encourage attendees of this athletic-focused facility to hop on a foam roller in the recovery lounge pre- and post-HIIT workout. But the real magic happens when you sit down and slip into the NormaTec boots, which use air pulsing and pressure to massage legs ($20 for 30 minutes). The locker rooms also offer cold tub therapy for a quick ice bath to ease aches. And you can sign up for recovery workshops or stay after class for a session with a physical therapist (both offered at select times, sometimes for an additional fee). The Tone House key to recovery: Make sure to foam roll your quads, hamstrings and glutes — three spots Tone House coach Adrian Williams does both pre- and post-sweat, along with a 20-minute stretch while his muscles are still warm. The glutes are especially important to alleviate tightness in your backside, which can lead to lower back pain, tight hamstrings or poor stability, he says. To loosen them up, sit on a foam roller with one ankle crossed over the opposite knee. Lean toward the bent leg and slowly roll back and forth, pausing for a few seconds on extra tight areas. “Everyone is always looking for new ways to elevate their athleticism. Sleeping, myofascial release and stretching are huge factors in pushing those limits,” Williams says. “Spend just as much time focusing on these key components and you will be able to push yourself to new heights.” RELATED: 5 Foam Rolling Moves You Aren’t Doing (But Should) [caption id="attachment_63836" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Soul Annex[/caption]

2. Soul Annex

Soul Annex, the sister studio to the renowned indoor cycling class, offers various sweat sessions off the bike and on the mat. And their top recovery option is Le Stretch, which incorporates a lacrosse ball for self-myofascial release. The ball works like a typical foam roller, but gets into deeper tissues and smaller areas. You’ll hit three commonly tight spots in class — hips, shoulders and low back. Everyone from desk workers to workout junkies will benefit from the ah-mazing tension release. The Soul Annex key to recovery: “The biggest mistake people make when it comes to recovery is not recovering,” says Charlee Atkins, CSCS, Le Stretch creator and instructor and master SoulCycle instructor. An essential body part to focus on, she says, is your hips — but that doesn’t mean rolling out the hip itself. “Our bodies are so brilliantly connected that I recommend going upstream and downstream,” aka moving from the low back to thighs for hips, she says. To get the shoulders loosened up, she also has class goers roll above, below and to the sides of the scapulae (or shoulder blade) as well as the pecs (or chest) muscles. RELATED: The 6 Most Satisfying Stretches You’re Not Doing [caption id="attachment_63844" align="alignnone" width="620"] Photo courtesy of Mile High Run Club[/caption]

3. Mile High Run Club

If there’s one thing every runner needs in their training schedule, it’s regular recovery sessions. That includes foam rolling and, on extra tough days, compression boots. Thankfully, MHRC recently added NormaTec boots ($15 for 15 minutes) to their line-up of services to help pavement pounders get back on the road faster, sans soreness. You can also continue to use their foam rollers before and after stepping on the treadmill to loosen up the fascia or any lactic acid build up. The Mile High Run Club key to recovery: Before every run, MHRC coach Rich Velazquez rolls out his glutes, IT band and quads. “This loosens the fascia up before the hard work starts and allows greater blood flow to the area, increased mobility at the joints, and greater ‘fire power’ for the muscles,” he says. The body part Velazquez says most people skip rolling, but shouldn’t is the glutes. “The glutes are the largest muscle group we have, and impact the largest joint we have — the hips,” he explains. “If glutes get tight, the body starts to utilizer smaller and weaker muscles to do the same work.” In other words, running efficiency goes downhill. Another note from Velazquez: Don’t wait until something hurts to focus on recovery. “Be proactive, not reactive,” he says. Read More No Pain, No Gain? 5 Myths About Muscle Soreness Are You Foam Rolling All Wrong? Why Science Says You Should Take More Rest Days

The post 3 Fitness Studios That Are Going Big on Recovery appeared first on Life by Daily Burn.

via Fitness – Life by Daily Burn

[bunkershotgolf]

Golf, A Complete Wellness Strategy

By Lee Embley

“A Cancer Patient Story”  

In July 2015 I was diagnosed with stage-four lung cancer, a diagnosis that typically has a life expectancy of 6-12 months. I was 69 at the time, living a full productive active lifestyle.

Before my diagnosis I considered myself in good shape physically, and an active golfer for 40 years. I played the game for all the typical reasons, challenge, improving skills, lower score, friends, ego etc.   I loved the complexity of the sport. It's a mind and body game. Little did I know, that the game I thought I knew would help me beat the effects of cancer therapy…and live longer

Chemo kills, mind body and spirit.

Before my first chemo treatment my oncologist told me, your chances of survival is dependent on your ability to get through the entire six-month chemotherapy treatment sequence.  I was getting the highest dose chemo killing. The message was clear, find a way to manage the treatments to give the drugs time to work.

Chemo takes a direct assault on Mind, Body Spirit.  Your body is ravaged by weight loss, muscle loss constant fatigue. Your Spirit is crushed as the realities challenge faith, hopefulness, and optimism.

The effects of Chemo makes food, hydration intake a challenge, you just can’t eat. Lack of nutrition, hydration, and lack of activity is the black hole you begin to slide into. You are so weakened your resolve to continue to fight is but one more instance away.

After being diagnosed needed to find anything to help me get through the treatments. I was experiencing all of the dreaded effects, and I was desperate for answers and solution

Cancer Care and Support Teams do provide help. The Doctors prescribe meds for some side effects, and they are very helpful. There are nutritionist to advise what you might eat, councilors for the emotional lifestyle impacts, stress methods, music therapy, art therapy etc.

All the options presented had merit and clear benefit but they were fragmented, inconsistent and episodic. There was not a sense of coherency as a wellness strategy.

I needed was to develop my own wellness and well-being strategy, something I could immerse into that would provide me a coherent wellness system i.e. activity, nutrition, hydration, emotional support, fun, an escape.

I hated the idea of going to the gym, and being the old guy on a treadmill walking at 2 miles an hour. I did not want to be that guy. I needed an escape plan from the conventional exercise modality. The thought of, crawling along on a treadmill 30 min workout, while watching cable news was a non-starter.  Other activities, swimming, hiking, dancing all had some basic aerobic benefits, but lacked a total system.

Golf Wellness Attributes: Physiological, Neurological, Psychological

What I found was I could get my basic wellness goals on the golf course. I believed my key was to get and stay active. That had a very specific metric in mind. If, I could get 10,000 steps a day I could trigger a wellness sequence.  Activity would prompt better hydration, exercise would dissipate stress and mitigate effects of fatigue.

The energy burn from the “walk” would likely increase my ability to eat, and take in much needed protein. With the combination of activity, nutrition, hydration I would likely be able to get my sleep into REM.

The revelation of Golf might serve as a wellness and well-being modality felt like an blessing. I could do something I loved and get the core wellness properties within the golf experience.  Walking the golf course was a challenge. I could only get in nine holes, but got close to my 10,000 steps goal.

I would create little challenges the landscape changes, the terrain offered in elevation to increase my heart rate, I’d pick a hole with a hill, and challenge myself to make it to the top, without stopping, and record my heart rate recover time.

I became fully aware I was in a natural setting the change of seasons, abundant wildlife, all set in a manicured park like environment. I was extracting benefits of Eco-Therapy, physiological and psychological of being in nature.

Eco-therapy increased endorphins creating a euphoric response, dissipating stress, sunlight produced Vitamin D The chemical release Dopamine a neurotransmitter that kills pain, adds pleasure responses added to the experience.

The “walk” provided moving a form of moving meditations similar to Tai Chi bringing a level of relaxation, calmness. I could feel my body opening up. Golf movements strengthened my core, promoting balance and boosting energy. Finding spots of awe in the golf landscape taking in the beauty was like a Yoga moment, inhale, and exhale. Shots making, required visualization, imagination, sparked creativity, problem solving like little Brainteasers. Putting became my Mindfulness experience.

The combination creates a context for positive psychology, reinforcing the belief system, and stiffing and renewing resolve.  

The therapy I was experiencing on the course, only expanded by the social construct of the golf experience. What I experienced both surprised and delighted me. Once my diagnosis became known.  I was often approached by members, most of which I did not know all that well with warmth of support. I discovered many of them fought the same fight I was facing. Instant friendship happened with regularity.

Their support was authentic, support without sympathy.  They understood my condition, but still wanted to take my five dollars on the Sunday Match play. Golf represented a complete ecosystem for wellness and wellbeing.

Games, score mattered

Competition fueled me, it triggered my intrinsic motivations, and made the five dollar bet seem like a $$$ challenge. My extrinsic motivation was charged by the competition.  We were playing a game, game theory, teams and partner challenges creates social context, in this environment you want to do more as a partner and teammate.

I was in immersion experience, an ecology of wellness and wellbeing.  I was coping with chemo treatments, managing my moments. I was eager to get on the golf course as therapy, as I knew the “walk” was my chance to live longer.  The golf course became like a Spa Experience, as I absorbed the natural attributes and benefits it offered up every day I could be there.

Needless to say, it is now two years since that awful day. The six-nine months prognosis is now five-year strategy, and far more hopeful.  Of course cancer treatments continue to get better almost everyday, and I am a direct beneficiary of the science.  The key is to live long enough so the scientist can find a cure. It’s about making it from one gap phase to the next.  

What I discovered was golf was so much more then I ever imagined. It’s a game that can be deconstructed to whatever capacity the player has. It’s a Fountain of Youth

No golf skills required

As a therapy, golf is perfect ideal, as it is a complete sustainable therapy and recovery system.  With a short-game introduction clinic patients can learn to putt, chip, pitch (a total mind body experience, mindfulness) putting, games; help with energy, balance, and cognition.  

As a recovery method, golf helps patients gain strength, flexibility, while increasing energy and endurance.

In closing through my experience, of the applying game for therapy I became a much better golfer. My handicap peaked at 18 while in the midst of treatments, has since come down to an 8.9 handicap.

The “walk” can be a single hole, or any combination that works for the patient’s capacity on that given day.

The social side of the game has an army of cancer survivors who are willing to be recruited as “Golf Buddies” to support, motivate and engage patients (Players) outside of the learning clinics. Hundreds of millions of dollars are raised annually by cancer charities, via golf tournaments.  The golf community fully supports the fight against cancer.  

Asking the golf community to now become an extension of cancer care and a therapy alternative is recognition of just how important and impactful the game of golf has on wellness and wellbeing.

I’m thrilled to announce a “Golf Beats Cancer” a nonprofit organization I’ve help to form with friends in the golf community to bring the element of the program to cancer patients through partnerships with golf clubs all over the US, and the formulization of Golf Buddies, a social network of people who will serve, support, and motivate players to beat cancer through golf.

Golf is a wellness, wellbeing therapy with Golf Beats Cancer.

[julesdelorme]

JULES’ TRAINING & DIET DIARY

STRENGTH AND REHAB PHASE WEEK 2 JAN 6 – JAN 12 2019

“Valor withers without adversity”

Seneca

WEDNESDAY JAN 9: Wednesday was a day off. Slept in a little. Worked on editing some writing. Ate well and healthy, high protein, reasonable carbs. Stopped eating by 9 pm. I take these days off from all supplements and all daytime meds so as to give my liver and kidneys a break, as well as to avoid addiction problems with the Kratom. This meant of course that my knee was in more pain than usual. But compared to where I started this is not nearly so made. More of a dull ache then real pain. No NSAIDS or meds also seems to confirm my suggestion than the knee is actually healing. I do attribute this mostly to the creams, which I continue to use at night. That adds up to a good day, if you ask me. .3+-*

THURSDAY JAN 10: Started the day with a smudge. Then Standing Series Yoga. Meditation. Iaijutsu Practice. Incorporating this in this phase because it requires kneeling posture and a flow of Movement that I think leads to a body that moves better and less injury. Healthy Protein Based meals. Walked Momo with Cutting Practice and Posture Work. (We used to joke during sword class about walking and kneeling like Zatoichi, the blind swordsman. Anyone who has studied or watched Japanese Sword and/or Aikido might notice that the teachers especially seem to float, with their upper bodies floating on their hips. So when I walk with a Walking Stick or practice cutting I try to remember that posture and movement for the reasons that I’ve explained above. Wrote for quite a bit. Read to wind down. Fitful sleep.

FRIDAY JAN 11: Smudge. Standing Series Yoga. Dog Jog to Townson Fitness. A few Trainees. Anterior Chain Strength and Rehab Workout: 2 Supersets of Hyperextension Barbell Deadlifts 6 – 8 Reps with Sit Up Barbell Press x 4- 6 Reps/ 2 Single Sets of: 1 Arm Bar End Press off Back x 8-10/ 1 Arm Bar End Overhead Press with Split Squat x 8-10 Each Side/ 1 Arm Extended Kettlebell Press off Back x 8 -10 Each Side/ 1 Arm Extended Kettlebell Overhead Press from Kneeling Positions, Raising from Butt on Heels(Base) to Butt Up Hips Pressed Forward x 6-8/ 1 Arm Extended Kettlebell Overhead Press From One Leg Kneeling Position with Other Leg Extended Back x 6 -8 Each Side/ 1 Arm Overhead Press from Deep Bottom Squat(Butt On Heels) x 6 – 8 Each Side. Walk home. Dinner with a friend. Tired. Cranky. In a funk. Probably just tired. Home. Watch TV to wind down.

SATURDAY JAN 12: Think I got a decent night’s sleep. Started the day with a Smudge. Been up[ping my water uptake all week. Bit of a struggle, because when you first start increasing your water intake it feels like you have to pee all the time. Seated Series Yoga. Meditation. Dog Jog to Townson Fitness. 2 Trainees. Posterior Strength Workout: 2 Sets Each of: Hyperextension Bench Hip Swing(Like a cross between a Hip Swing and A Hyperextension. You swing the Kettlebell, or Dumbbell in front of you as you perform a Hyperextension. Use a lighter weight than you would for a regular Hip Swing and go very slowly. Do not use momentum at all. Your Sine is in a very vulnerable position here.)/ 1 Arm Hyperextension Row(Hold top position of Hyperextension and perform a 1 Arm Row. Again go very slow and do not use momentum)/ Kneeling Hip Swing (Same end note as above.)/ Two Hand Extended Kettlebell Sword (Keeping a Kettlebell extended away from your body, grip it hand over hand. Raise and lower the Bell as if you were raising and lowering a Sword)/ 1 Arm Kettlebell Sword(Note: Your can perform these exercises with fixed Dumbbells by holding the Dumbbell at one end rather than in the middle)/ Kneeling Bent Over Flys(Kneel and place your forehead on the mat and perform Bent Over Flys. Do not let your forehead come off the mat. Much harder to do than you might think.)/ Lying Dumbbell Circles(Lying on your stomach, again your forehead stays on the mat. Extend your hands out to the sides and perform slow circles, first in one direction and then in the other. Excellent for Rotator Cuff and Rhomboid strengthening and rehab.). High Protein Meals throughout day. Stop by 9 pm. Wrote & Read to wind down.

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#fitness #nutrition #fitnesstips #mma #martialarts #fatburning #homeworkouts #boxing #hittscarborough #townsonfitness #wrestling #grappling #health #healthandfitness #trainingafter40 #diet #scarborough #BruceLee #Seneca #FunctionalFitness #TabataTraining #CircuitTraining #FatBurning #boxing #kettlebell #kettlebellworkouts #Balance #Stability #strength #power #playgroundworkouts #japanesesword #Iaijutsu #HighProteinDiet #JoeRogan #Seizures #LivingwithSeizures #Trainingover40 #Fitnessover40 #trainingover50 #fitnessover50 #Jung #CGJung #JosephCampbell #Nietzsche #RehabTraining #rehabilitationtraining #Rehab #rehabandrecovery

[zrtranscripts]

5K Trainer: Week 5, Workout 2

SAM YAO: Runner Five! Good to see your face again! Doc here tells me you've been making great progress.

MAXINE MYERS: Certainly have. That's why we've got a special assignment for you today. Get started with your five-minute warm-up walk, and we'll tell you about it on the way.

SAM YAO: You sounded positively professional saying that.

MAXINE MYERS: I am professional, Sam.

SAM YAO: I know, I know. I mean, well, I know you're a professional doctor. It's just, well, you sound like a coach or something.

MAXINE MYERS: I do my best. So, Runner Five, Sam has a mission for you today.

SAM YAO: Yep, yep. Always good to have something to do, yeah? Janine's helped me to cross off a few minor settlements from my list, but there's a place not too far away that we haven't been able to contact. They're based in the Varela Cardiac Clinic. Used to be one of those private clinics before the apocalypse. Guess they're fine for med supplies.

MAXINE MYERS: Yeah, I've traded with those guys a couple of times. Uh, your route there looks totally clear of zoms, so just keep heading in the direction you're going. We should be able to do our regular training routine along the way. You're halfway done with your warm-up!

MAXINE MYERS: That was great, Runner Five! Now we're going to go straight into a five-minute free-form run. Listen to your body about whether you want to walk or run. You're heading in the right direction.

MAXINE MYERS: Good. Three minutes left, and you're well on your way to the clinic.

MAXINE MYERS: Last minute now. Keep going.

MAXINE MYERS: And that's your five minutes up! Now, there are no zoms about, so we're fine to do some drills. Same as last time: 30 seconds of walking, then 1 minute of slow running, then 6 heel lifts. Start walking now.

MAXINE MYERS: Now one minute slow running.

MAXINE MYERS: 30 seconds to go!

MAXINE MYERS: Do those six heel lifts now.

MAXINE MYERS: Okay, now 30 seconds of walking. We can't see everything, you know, so keep looking out for those zoms.

MAXINE MYERS: Now one minute of running. Go!

MAXINE MYERS: Now give me six heel lifts.

MAXINE MYERS: Great! Now give me 30 seconds of walking.

MAXINE MYERS: Now 60 seconds running. Go!

MAXINE MYERS: Now stop and do those six heel lifts.

MAXINE MYERS: Fantastic! Now walk for 30 seconds.

MAXINE MYERS: You're doing well. Now run for one minute.

MAXINE MYERS: Time for six more heel lifts.

MAXINE MYERS: Great! Now you're going to walk for 30 seconds.

MAXINE MYERS: Good work, Five! Now speed up to a run.

MAXINE MYERS: Now stop running and do those six heel lifts.

MAXINE MYERS: Good work! 30 seconds of walking now.

MAXINE MYERS: Only two more after this. One minute of running. Go!

MAXINE MYERS: Now do your six heel lifts. Keep strong.

MAXINE MYERS: Almost there! 30 seconds of walking now.

MAXINE MYERS: And speed up and give me a minute of walking. You're doing great.

MAXINE MYERS: Good! Six heel lifts now. If you're ever trapped and need to take a zom's head off with a kick, it's going to be easier the stronger your legs are.

MAXINE MYERS: Perfect! Last drill now. 30 seconds of walking. Keep a careful lookout for zoms, remember?

SAM YAO: It all looks clear though, right?

MAXINE MYERS: Well, that's what they said to Runner Six.

SAM YAO: Yeah... how's her leg doing?

MAXINE MYERS: She's doing fine, thanks to Runner Five.

MAXINE MYERS: And now, your last 60-second running drill.

MAXINE MYERS: And finally, give me those six heel lifts again. You've done well out there today, Runner Five.

MAXINE MYERS: That's great! You're almost at the Varela Clinic now, so time to do more free-form running. We're going to be doing two 10-minute free-form runs. The end of the first one should take you to the clinic, where you're going to make the exchange.

MAXINE MYERS: Two minutes down. You're going well. You should be able to see the clinic now on top of that hill.

MAXINE MYERS: Four minutes done. Look! I think there's someone waiting for you at the clinic. Can you see that?

MAXINE MYERS: Five minutes. Halfway through, and I think there's definitely someone there.

MAXINE MYERS: Seven and a half minutes gone. Uh, do you see that, Sam?

SAM YAO: Yeah, they're sort of... pointing towards a bag slung over the gatepost.

MAXINE MYERS: I think he's putting something in there.

SAM YAO: And now he's heading back into the clinic.

MAXINE MYERS: Hmm... evidently they don't want to be seen talking to us.

SAM YAO: Yeah. I guess those guys are locked to New Canton. Okay, Runner Five, looks like he's set up a dead drop, though. You'll be there in just a few seconds. Grab whatever's inside, drop in the USB sticks I've given you, and then head away immediately. Try to rest in that clump of trees.

MAXINE MYERS: That's great, Runner Five. Just one more minute until you reach those trees and you can rest.

MAXINE MYERS: Great! I very much doubt anyone'll see you there. Now rest. Stretch out, get your breath back, and then we're going to go again. We want to be back at Abel as quickly as possible.

MAXINE MYERS: Okay, Five, it's time to get moving again. I don't like the sound of those woods. So you should be 10 minutes away from us now. Take your stance, get ready to run, and -

SAM YAO: There are zoms in those woods! Runner Five, run!

SAM YAO: Two and a half minutes. I think you're getting clear of them... maybe not. Run!

MAXINE MYERS: Five minutes, Runner Five. Keep going!

SAM YAO: Two minutes to go. I can see you, you're nearly here!

SAM YAO: You'll be here in 30 seconds. Raise the gates! [gate siren, gates raising]

[gate siren, gates raising]

SAM YAO: That's fantastic, Runner Five! I guess it's time for you to stretch now.

MAXINE MYERS: That's right. Everything's okay?

SAM YAO: I just... I can't thank you enough for doing this for me. And for Alice - for the memory of Alice – even though you never knew her. It's, uh... yeah. Thank you.

Well, let's take a look and see what you got. Hmm, looks like... this note here says that they don't know anything about Frances... huh. But apparently, they think the guys at Michael Bert Airport have a comms tower large enough to talk to places farther north than anyone else.

MAXINE MYERS: Hey, that place is not great with visitors.

SAM YAO: Yeah. Last I heard, they were shooting on sight to "defend their perimeter." This is going to take some thinking about. Still, present for you here, Runner Five. And uh, thank you, again.

MAXINE MYERS: We'll work something out. Take a couple of days off now, after that hard run, Five, and we'll see you back when you've recovered.

[lauramalchowblog]

10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy

Maybe it’s an injury that took months to overcome. Maybe it’s an illness that left you bedridden (or demotivated). Maybe it’s simple disuse and neglect that dragged on and on—or lasted your entire life until today. Or maybe you read my recent post about claiming health in later life and want to get back on the road to vitality. For whatever reason, almost everyone will be forced to recover and rebuild their fitness and strength after an extended period of inactivity. But there’s a wrong way and a right way to do it.

Here are some tips for doing it the right way:

1. Do Anything You Can

Isometric contractions in the hospital bed (only if allowed by your doc, mind you). Single leg squats when standing up from the couch with your good leg. Bicep curls with the one arm that isn’t incapacitated. Whatever movement you can muster, get moving.

While it’s definitely “better” to train your entire body, training just a single body part or limb is better than doing nothing. It sends a signal to your body that you haven’t thrown in the towel, that you still need your metabolically-expensive muscle mass.

2. Motion Is Lotion—but Only If It’s High Quality Motion

The quicker you can get back to normal movement, the better. Normal movement, not normal speed. Quality over everything. For instance, say you sprain your ankle. The best thing you can do to recover is to start walking on it with good technique. Once you can walk with good form, however slow you go, get walking. Walk without a limp, even if it’s 1 MPH. Walk without a limp, even if you have to use crutches or a cane to bear some of the load. Don’t roll onto the outside of your bad foot. Don’t splay that foot out like a duck to avoid the pain.

The point is moving—and moving well.

3. Eat Tons Of Protein

Inactivity increases the protein requirement. When you’re on bed rest (mandatory or self-imposed), your protein metabolism shifts toward that of an older person’s—lower efficiency, higher substrate requirements to attain the same result. You need more protein just to stay on top of daily maintenance. Plus, since you’re actively healing and recovering and laying down or repairing tissue, you need extra protein to handle the extra processes.

Eat a good 1 gram protein per pound of lean body mass as you prepare for your return to activity. Consider including whey isolate, as it’s an easy additive source of protein that’s been shown to improve recovery after bed rest and surgery.

4. Learn To Distinguish Between Pain and Soreness

When recovering from an injury or just getting back into exercise, you want to avoid pain. Sharp pains in the joints, strains in the tendons that you feel for days after, a pulled muscle—these are not okay.

But you will and should feel discomfort. Muscle soreness after a session is fine. It’s normal. Burning in the muscle during a session is fine. It’s normal. Pain is not. Avoid pain.

5. Go For Walks

Regular walking is a powerful signal of “abundance” to your body. It tells your body that you’re still in the game, that you’re engaged with the world and have places to be. Walking is also the simplest, most fundamental way to get the blood flowing, get your joints lubricated, and apply a low-level stimulus to your musculoskeletal system. Pretty much everyone can walk.

If you have access to hills, even better. Walk up and down hills as often as possible. A brisk uphill walk is a legitimate way to build strength and endurance.

Work your way up to 5 times a week of 30-45 minutes. Throw on a weighted vest or throw some books in your backpack to add resistance.

6. Do Bear Crawls

Slow bear crawls are a great way to loosen up your joints and prepare your shoulders and hips for more complex, weighted movements. They’re actually a good exercise in their own right, especially if you haven’t done them since you were a baby.

Do these several times a week, preferably in the morning or before workouts, for a few minutes each day. Crawl forward, backward, sideways in a controlled fashion, making sure you feel the movements.

7. Do Balance Work

One basic way to improve balance (or just get more comfortable in unstable positions) is to stand on one foot and slowly sweep the opposite foot across in front of and behind you. Switch feet and do this every day for a couple minutes, or whenever you have down time—standing in line, for example.

You can also buy a 2×4 from the hardware store, place it on the ground, and practice walking forward and backward along it. You get the benefit of balancing on a narrow surface without the risk of falling to your doom.

8. Start With Bodyweight Exercises

Basic movements: knee flexion (squat, lunge, split squat), hip hinge (deadlift, kettlebell swing, trap bar DL), push (pushup, overhead press, dip), pull (pullup, chinup, row variations). You can do just about all of them with bodyweight, with the only one that’s really hard to do without external weights being the hip hinge.

Grab the Primal Blueprint Fitness ebook. It’s free and provides a step-by-step progression for all the movements, from total beginner doing pushups on the wall and assisted pull-ups to experienced lifter doing feet elevated pushups and weighted pull-ups.

9. Consider Finishing With Bodyweight Exercises.

Bodyweight exercises are totally sufficient for most people. It’s all about the amount of work you’re willing to do and the amount of effort you’re willing to give. In fact, I made the case in this post that you could build incredible strength and general fitness simply using bodyweight exercises plus some weighted resistance for the lower body (perhaps, say, my new favorite exercise: the trap bar deadlift and its many variations).

10. Take Fish Oil or Eat Fatty Fish.

The benefits of seafood on recovery and bounce-back-ability are multifold:

First, seafood is a great source of bioavailable high-quality protein—protein you need to recover from whatever sidelined you.

Second, the long chain omega-3s have a potent anti-inflammatory effect that can improve your recovery and speed up your return to normal activity. They reduce pain and inflammation without curtailing the healing process. One study even found that high dose omega-3 intake increased physical activity, maintained physical function, and reduced the incidence of joint replacement in older adults.

Third, the long chain omega-3s also increase muscle protein synthesis, particularly in older adults (presumably with higher baseline inflammation levels). In other words, they make physical activity more anabolic. They improve your ability to build muscle, muscle that you’ve probably lost being injured and inactive.

That’s it, everyone. These are the tips and methods I’ve used to get myself back on my feet after a long layaway, and to help others do the same. If you have anything to add or questions to ask, do so down below. I’d love to hear what worked (and what didn’t) for you. Thanks for reading.

(function($) { $("#dfVcBS6").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=959&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfVcBS6" ); })( jQuery );

window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '62361' });}

References:

Arentson-lantz EJ, Galvan E, Ellison J, Wacher A, Paddon-jones D. Improving Dietary Protein Quality Reduces the Negative Effects of Physical Inactivity on Body Composition and Muscle Function. J Gerontol A Biol Sci Med Sci. 2019;74(10):1605-1611.

Alfaddagh A, Elajami TK, Saleh M, Elajami M, Bistrian BR, Welty FK. The effect of eicosapentaenoic and docosahexaenoic acids on physical function, exercise, and joint replacement in patients with coronary artery disease: A secondary analysis of a randomized clinical trial. J Clin Lipidol. 2018;12(4):937-947.e2.

Smith GI, Atherton P, Reeds DN, et al. Dietary omega-3 fatty acid supplementation increases the rate of muscle protein synthesis in older adults: a randomized controlled trial. Am J Clin Nutr. 2011;93(2):402-12.

The post 10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy published first on https://venabeahan.tumblr.com

[jesseneufeld]

10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy

Maybe it’s an injury that took months to overcome. Maybe it’s an illness that left you bedridden (or demotivated). Maybe it’s simple disuse and neglect that dragged on and on—or lasted your entire life until today. Or maybe you read my recent post about claiming health in later life and want to get back on the road to vitality. For whatever reason, almost everyone will be forced to recover and rebuild their fitness and strength after an extended period of inactivity. But there’s a wrong way and a right way to do it.

Here are some tips for doing it the right way:

1. Do Anything You Can

Isometric contractions in the hospital bed (only if allowed by your doc, mind you). Single leg squats when standing up from the couch with your good leg. Bicep curls with the one arm that isn’t incapacitated. Whatever movement you can muster, get moving.

While it’s definitely “better” to train your entire body, training just a single body part or limb is better than doing nothing. It sends a signal to your body that you haven’t thrown in the towel, that you still need your metabolically-expensive muscle mass.

2. Motion Is Lotion—but Only If It’s High Quality Motion

The quicker you can get back to normal movement, the better. Normal movement, not normal speed. Quality over everything. For instance, say you sprain your ankle. The best thing you can do to recover is to start walking on it with good technique. Once you can walk with good form, however slow you go, get walking. Walk without a limp, even if it’s 1 MPH. Walk without a limp, even if you have to use crutches or a cane to bear some of the load. Don’t roll onto the outside of your bad foot. Don’t splay that foot out like a duck to avoid the pain.

The point is moving—and moving well.

3. Eat Tons Of Protein

Inactivity increases the protein requirement. When you’re on bed rest (mandatory or self-imposed), your protein metabolism shifts toward that of an older person’s—lower efficiency, higher substrate requirements to attain the same result. You need more protein just to stay on top of daily maintenance. Plus, since you’re actively healing and recovering and laying down or repairing tissue, you need extra protein to handle the extra processes.

Eat a good 1 gram protein per pound of lean body mass as you prepare for your return to activity. Consider including whey isolate, as it’s an easy additive source of protein that’s been shown to improve recovery after bed rest and surgery.

4. Learn To Distinguish Between Pain and Soreness

When recovering from an injury or just getting back into exercise, you want to avoid pain. Sharp pains in the joints, strains in the tendons that you feel for days after, a pulled muscle—these are not okay.

But you will and should feel discomfort. Muscle soreness after a session is fine. It’s normal. Burning in the muscle during a session is fine. It’s normal. Pain is not. Avoid pain.

5. Go For Walks

Regular walking is a powerful signal of “abundance” to your body. It tells your body that you’re still in the game, that you’re engaged with the world and have places to be. Walking is also the simplest, most fundamental way to get the blood flowing, get your joints lubricated, and apply a low-level stimulus to your musculoskeletal system. Pretty much everyone can walk.

If you have access to hills, even better. Walk up and down hills as often as possible. A brisk uphill walk is a legitimate way to build strength and endurance.

Work your way up to 5 times a week of 30-45 minutes. Throw on a weighted vest or throw some books in your backpack to add resistance.

6. Do Bear Crawls

Slow bear crawls are a great way to loosen up your joints and prepare your shoulders and hips for more complex, weighted movements. They’re actually a good exercise in their own right, especially if you haven’t done them since you were a baby.

Do these several times a week, preferably in the morning or before workouts, for a few minutes each day. Crawl forward, backward, sideways in a controlled fashion, making sure you feel the movements.

7. Do Balance Work

One basic way to improve balance (or just get more comfortable in unstable positions) is to stand on one foot and slowly sweep the opposite foot across in front of and behind you. Switch feet and do this every day for a couple minutes, or whenever you have down time—standing in line, for example.

You can also buy a 2×4 from the hardware store, place it on the ground, and practice walking forward and backward along it. You get the benefit of balancing on a narrow surface without the risk of falling to your doom.

8. Start With Bodyweight Exercises

Basic movements: knee flexion (squat, lunge, split squat), hip hinge (deadlift, kettlebell swing, trap bar DL), push (pushup, overhead press, dip), pull (pullup, chinup, row variations). You can do just about all of them with bodyweight, with the only one that’s really hard to do without external weights being the hip hinge.

Grab the Primal Blueprint Fitness ebook. It’s free and provides a step-by-step progression for all the movements, from total beginner doing pushups on the wall and assisted pull-ups to experienced lifter doing feet elevated pushups and weighted pull-ups.

9. Consider Finishing With Bodyweight Exercises.

Bodyweight exercises are totally sufficient for most people. It’s all about the amount of work you’re willing to do and the amount of effort you’re willing to give. In fact, I made the case in this post that you could build incredible strength and general fitness simply using bodyweight exercises plus some weighted resistance for the lower body (perhaps, say, my new favorite exercise: the trap bar deadlift and its many variations).

10. Take Fish Oil or Eat Fatty Fish.

The benefits of seafood on recovery and bounce-back-ability are multifold:

First, seafood is a great source of bioavailable high-quality protein—protein you need to recover from whatever sidelined you.

Second, the long chain omega-3s have a potent anti-inflammatory effect that can improve your recovery and speed up your return to normal activity. They reduce pain and inflammation without curtailing the healing process. One study even found that high dose omega-3 intake increased physical activity, maintained physical function, and reduced the incidence of joint replacement in older adults.

Third, the long chain omega-3s also increase muscle protein synthesis, particularly in older adults (presumably with higher baseline inflammation levels). In other words, they make physical activity more anabolic. They improve your ability to build muscle, muscle that you’ve probably lost being injured and inactive.

That’s it, everyone. These are the tips and methods I’ve used to get myself back on my feet after a long layaway, and to help others do the same. If you have anything to add or questions to ask, do so down below. I’d love to hear what worked (and what didn’t) for you. Thanks for reading.

(function($) { $("#dfydGCk").load("https://www.marksdailyapple.com/wp-admin/admin-ajax.php?action=dfads_ajax_load_ads&groups=959&limit=1&orderby=random&order=ASC&container_id=&container_html=none&container_class=&ad_html=div&ad_class=&callback_function=&return_javascript=0&_block_id=dfydGCk" ); })( jQuery );

window.onload=function(){ga('send', { hitType: 'event', eventCategory: 'Ad Impression', eventAction: '62361' });}

References:

Arentson-lantz EJ, Galvan E, Ellison J, Wacher A, Paddon-jones D. Improving Dietary Protein Quality Reduces the Negative Effects of Physical Inactivity on Body Composition and Muscle Function. J Gerontol A Biol Sci Med Sci. 2019;74(10):1605-1611.

Alfaddagh A, Elajami TK, Saleh M, Elajami M, Bistrian BR, Welty FK. The effect of eicosapentaenoic and docosahexaenoic acids on physical function, exercise, and joint replacement in patients with coronary artery disease: A secondary analysis of a randomized clinical trial. J Clin Lipidol. 2018;12(4):937-947.e2.

Smith GI, Atherton P, Reeds DN, et al. Dietary omega-3 fatty acid supplementation increases the rate of muscle protein synthesis in older adults: a randomized controlled trial. Am J Clin Nutr. 2011;93(2):402-12.

The post 10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy appeared first on Mark's Daily Apple.

10 Tips For Rebuilding Fitness and Strength After Long-Term Injury, Illness or Atrophy published first on https://drugaddictionsrehab.tumblr.com/

[sophdlpaz]

LIVE

Three weeks ago, two good friends of mine passed away.

Zharmai was my first bestfriend in St. Scho. We were classmates from Grade 1-5 and we were inseparable during those times, almost literally. We were always together during break time, we were always next to each other in our lines. We had common clubs together. 

She lived in San Mateo and at that time, there weren’t any landlines yet in their area. When my dad had that ice shaver-looking cellphone, I always asked for his permission to use it so I can call Zhai. There were a few times when I got to go to their house, of course with my mom (I just can’t recall the occasion). Feeling ko kasi sobrang layo na ng bahay niya kaya paminsan-minsan lang ako makapunta. 

We kind of drifted apart in high school, probably because we didn’t belong to the same sections anymore (except in 4th year). We had different sets of friends/barkadas but we remained to be good friends. I do remember inviting her at my house when I celebrated my 14th birthday. She managed to mingle with my new barkada and we even had studio pics taken together. (We went to Robinsons Metro East after having our meal at home.) She was even the one who encouraged me to join the Glee Club on our last year (and fortunately, I was accepted, even got in the core group, represented the school in a competition, and won).

Zhai was like a perfect package of talent and wit. I can recall waiting for her in Gate 1 while she took her piano lessons across the street. She also had been associated with Glee Club ever since. And she won the graduation song writing contest (of course, we sang her song during our HS graduation). She managed to be always one of the top students in class. I remember we were 2 of the 5 students selected for a Math training or something when we were in Grade 4 or 5, haha. What the eff, nerds haha. And she was always elected as the president of her class when we were in HS. Fast forward, Zhai successfully became a lawyer and I heard she took high-profile cases. She had almost everything!

On top of that, she had been a great friend. I can’t recall a major fight that we had when we were young. We didn’t have like a pet name or something but when we grew older, we decided to call each other “poop”, I don’t know why, hahaha. Very classy, right? Hahaha. I also remember, she was our designated make-up artist in Glee Club when we were already doing the competition. And just recently, I was able to consult her for some legal stuff before she had her Euro trip.

After that trip, she got sick and eventually diagnosed with leukemia. Her doctor and family already came up with her treatment plan. Everything was like under control. She was still fine when she was confined until her throat got constricted; she had trouble breathing. She needed to be sedated so she can be intubated. She was transferred to the ICU. She had five cardiac arrests. Three days after knowing about her illness, Zhai died.

Mares was one of my kabarkadas in Kadacingko (yeah, we had that clingy phase, even naming our barkada haha.) (Kadacingko because our anniversary is November 5 hahaha, get it? We had a barkada name, a barkada notebook where we wrote to update each of us about our lives haha, and a barkada bag that each of us should use for a week). Our whole barkada was formed in our first year class (I - St. Rose of Lima). I don’t really remember the time when we just decided to hang out with each other, haha. But I do know we were all groupmates for a certain English play project. The portrayal of the life of San Lorenzo Ruiz was assigned to us and we had to have practices even on weekends. But the most memorable rehearsal we had was in Kish’s house (That was when I met my first boyfriend. Anywaaaaaayyyy...) Since then, we were always together. There’s this small mall across our school (We call it S’Mall, witty right?) and we go there just to hang out in Mcdo. Actually, we weren’t allowed to go there in our uniforms but we were badass like that. (Weird lang kasi oorder lang kami ng same food and just sit there. But that’s how we defined “tambay” that time.) 

I also remember making Mares as my “messenger”, hahahaha shet. She lived in the same village as my then-boyfriend and since we couldn’t see each other often (bawal pa kong magboyfriend that time, pasaway haha), we wrote letters to each other, what the fuck hahaha. And so I asked Mares the favor to hand my letters to him and v.v. Mares was so supportive, right? Hahaha.

Mares went to La Salle and I to ADMU in college. The whole barkada didn’t have time to see each other during these years but I do remember Mares teasing me in her Friendster testimonial that I will be her COO when she becomes the CEO/Chairman of her own company. We rarely talked to each other but she still managed to bully me hahaha (because we went to rival schools).

Mares and I weren’t really that close in the barkada. I mean, we were a lot in the group so you get to be closer to just at least one of them. Pero siya karamay ko sa mga kalokohan. I remember it was just the two of us who got ear bridge piercings but we had to remove them when we were in school because bawal. When we had our vacation in Pangasinan when Elaine went home from US, we drank liquor like it was water. We had fun caving adventures and cliff divings. She was like the epitome of YOLO x Young, Wild, and Free. She was really carefree at that time.

Then on the year of 2013, Mei, Mares, Wyn, and I went to Eastwood to hang out and have dinner. That was the time when Mares mentioned that she was feeling something bulging on her neck. We told her to have it checked. A few months after, Kish, Kish’s then-partner, Mares, and I went to have drinks. Mares was already wearing a scarf that time. The bulge became bigger and Kish (med student that time) said that it was inflammed. We didn’t think that it was a big of a deal. We were even planning our next Young, Wild, and Free session. Then she dropped the bomb a few days after. She messaged us on Twitter that she was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. But she said that it’s the curable type so there’s nothing to be worried about.

Mares had this 180-degree turn in her life. She became more spiritually addicted. When I was suffering from depression in  2013-2014, she never “left” me. She was making me strong spiritually; she let me hold on to her and to God. That was when my friendship with Mares became deeper. She then invited me to join The Feast and that was when my life changed altogether. Even if she was sick, she managed to attend sessions with me, served in a couple of the ministries there. She was just too spiritually pumped up. In 2014 or early 2015, our prayers were answered; she had partial remission. 

November 2015, I was attending the Kerygma Conference and at that time, Mares just got home from her trip to Japan. She told me that she was coughing with blood. I told Kish (already a doctor at that time) about it and she said that wasn’t a good sign. It turned out that she had a relapse; her tumor became bigger, affecting her lungs. She went through chemo sessions but the tumor was really aggressive. I remember she was advised by the doctor to take another round of chemo with higher dosage of meds but she declined. She took alternative treatments; she just didn’t want to give up, she wanted to be well. Starting 2016, she was in and out of the hospital. She had several debridement operations for her chest wound. She always had difficulties in breathing. There was this time, I think that was August or September in 2017 when I visited her in the hospital with Wyn. I let her speak to Kish on the phone. Afterwards, I asked Kish about her thoughts and she gave Mares about two more months to live. She fought and stayed a bit more. That’s how strong and brave Mares was.

On the night of October 21, I got a call from Jyl, one of my Glee clubmates in HS. We haven’t talked to each other for a long time so I found it odd. She told me about Zhai and we agreed to visit her when Zhai’s condition becomes stable. After three hours, she called me again but since I was already sleeping, I missed her call. I got my phone and read a message from Mares’ ate saying that she passed away. I forgot to give a return call to Jyl because I was already grieving on Mares’ death but she messaged to tell me that Zhai also passed away. I felt like I was splashed with ice cold water on my face. I just didn’t know what to feel anymore at that time. What the fuck, really, I just lost two friends in one night?! I was like, “REALLY GOD?! WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO TELL ME?”

And maybe the message that God was trying to relay to me was: LIVE.

Take care of your body. I realized the value of healthy eating and exercise even more. I know I owe myself and my family good health. Everything sounds cliche but it pays to have that kind of discipline. I take so much effort to undergo IF and take regular runs and workouts. As much as possible, I resist taking sodas, sweets, instant food, and fastfood. I still wanna bear a child (if God permits) and have enough strength to carry him/her. I still wanna work for my family. I need to have that same level of energy as I take more loads of work (full time + part time combined). I don't want to be a burden to my family; I don't want them to incur so much costs if I acquire a major illness. I still wanna live longer.

Take care of your heart. What happened to Mares hit our whole barkada really hard. Most of my kabarkadas are doctors and nurses and it's really difficult for us to find time to meet. And while we don't get to see each other, we drifted apart even more. It was only Mares (and her condition) that was like binding us. Then Wyn left this message in our group chat, "Give time for each other no matter what." And I totally agree. It also hit me hard as an ate and daughter because I rarely make time for my family to like really bond. I usually go out or sleep, having less interaction with them. I would reason out that my work is too tiring and that I need some time off outside or some rest. But thinking about it, why am I not making time for the very reasons why I'm working my ass off? Everything will be completely nonsense. I usually make time for my friends but I must also make sure that I spend some of my time too with my family.

Take care of your mind and soul. I was really having a depressive mood that time. On that particular Sunday, I just stayed in, didn’t serve in Sunday school and didn’t hear mass. I didn’t have the energy to give my best at work that week. But then, I was like, what the fuck?! Mares and Zhai were both struggling to breathe and live a bit longer while I was sulking in thoughts resulted from too much negative thinking, making me more depressed. I was fucking wasting my days away. More bad stuff continued to rattle me after their death. I took time to absorb and cried over them. I know people said it's okay to not be okay sometimes but I think I had too much of that already. I needed to pick myself up. I have to be mentally tough or else I may not survive another day. I went back to God, said a major apology prayer for drifting so far away from Him. I didn't have Mares anymore to share my fears so I knew I had no choice but to turn to Him again. Even though I still feel sad, I can feel that my heart is at peace because I know I made better decisions now for myself.

As they say, life's fucking tough. But I've proven so many times that I'm tougher. I can't waste another day. I have to live.

[thecoroutfitters]

Written by Guest Contributor on The Prepper Journal.

Editors Note: A guest submission from Red J to The Prepper Journal. As always, if you have information for Preppers that you would like to share and possibly receive a $25 cash award as well as being entered into the Prepper Writing Contest AND have a chance to win one of three Amazon Gift Cards  with the top prize being a $300 card to purchase your own prepping supplies, then enter today!

An Additional Editor’s Note: I need to point out that this is good information and that it should be read and considered from your own point of view and that is why I have decided to publish this guests post. As it pertains to methods of stocking up on prescription medications there are some legitimate issues you must consider. As presented your interactions with your medical professionals are between you and them. Most insurance companies will not authorize prescriptions for more than 30-days. Shopping alternative pharmacies is a practice oft used in the illicit drug trade and EXTREME caution is recommended here as this may indeed get you on a list you never, ever want to be on. Some meds HAVE TO BE REPORTED at the time of sale and this is built into the software that runs a pharmacy. They will ask for a valid ID and submit it to their systems. This is a touchy subject as human weakness and human greed and government control all come together to possibly produce the worst of all outcomes. TPJ

Like many middle-aged Americans, I have a number of health conditions and rely on the medical system to manage my health concerns.  So I am very concerned about making medical preps.  I expect that many people’s health will get worse in an extended grid-down situation.  Stress on everyone will be extremely high.  A nutritious diet and sufficient sleep may not be consistently available.  Such living conditions will make people more susceptible to common ailments such as cold, flu; http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2017/01/25/preparing-illness-shtf/ offers help for colds, flu, and a broken ankle.

Others will be more vulnerable and possibly life-threatening.  Imagine a COPD patient without her oxygen pump or a diabetic patient without his diabetic medicine, or someone with chronic pain who no longer has access to pain medicines.  Untreated high blood pressure will damage a person’s arteries, leading to buildup of plague, reducing blood flow and eventually heart attack, heart failure, or stroke.

Does anyone in your family or prepping group take medicine for arthritis, thyroid, high cholesterol, high triglycerides, heartburn or acid reflux, asthma, diabetes, depression and/or anxiety?  These are some of the most common American health issues.

This article will help you and your household or group make medical preps.

Stock up on OTC Products for Your Specific Conditions

I’m not going to recommend first aid items to stock because they can be found in http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2013/10/28/prepper-first-aid-finding-perfect-ifak-kit/ and http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2016/12/09/importance-medical-kit-preps/

These are somethings to stock for muscular pain or fibromyalgia – handheld massager, capzasin gel, salonpas patches, lidocaine patches, Stopain, Biofreeze.  Potassium tablets can also reduce muscular soreness.  A hot bath with Epsom Salt can also reduce muscular pain.  My pharmacist told me that Vitamin B-12 that’s dissolved under the tongue, can reduce nerve pain; it must be the kind dissolved under the tongue (sublinqual) and not swallowed.  An electric handheld massager can also help reduce muscle soreness; see below on how to prepare to use it after a grid-down disaster.

If you have diabetes, do you have an extra blood sugar monitor, spare battery, test strips, and alcohol swabs?

Will anyone in your family or group need a cane, crutches, walker, or wheelchair in the future?

How to Stock Extra Prescription Medicines

One way to stock up on your prescription medicines is to call in refills 4-5 days early.  Do this every month for 6-7 months, and you will have one extra month’s supply of your medicine.  I’ve been told that one can also do this with mail order prescriptions.  Exaggerating your symptoms may also get your doctor to prescribe a larger dose (or a battery of new and expensive tests). This ma result in allowing you to store the difference in doses.

Another way is to consider reducing your dose 1-3 days per week, and storing the difference.

Another way to stock up is to ask your doctor or PA (Physician’s Assistant).  Explain to him/her why you believe things will get very bad.  Depending on his/her response, ask if s/he would consider prescribing a larger dose.  Wait to do this until you have been seeing your doctor regularly for at least a year, to establish a trusting relationship.  Do not ask for extra opioids because of widespread concern about opioid abuse and addiction, and U.S. states are passing new laws making it harder for doctors to prescribe opioids.  As a patient, recognize that when you ask your doctor for extra medicine, you may actually be asking him/her to accept additional risk to his/her ability to continue practicing medicine.  So be discerning in what you request. There is a possibility he or she may have some pharmaceutical samples that they can dispense.

When I first considered asking my doctor for extra med, I was skeptical about ever finding a doctor who would agree to that.  So I didn’t ask for several years.  Then one day, I remembered that a doctor or PA is bound by doctor-patient confidentiality; so asking would not blow my OPSEC (operational security).  I thought the worst my PA could do was say no; what did I have to lose?  So I explained my reasons for believing things will get bad. My PA responded in an understanding manner and then asked me what I wanted, to my surprise.  Now I didn’t want to take advantage of his willingness to do so (and by that time, I had a good supply of most of my prescriptions); so I asked only for an extra dose of my diabetic medicine.

If your doctor agrees to this, I recommend going to a different pharmacy, one that does not have your insurance info in their system, and I would not give them your insurance info, as your insurance company will not approve a second dose and likely identify you as a possible unethical user (since those who abuse or sell their prescriptions often use more than one pharmacy.)

As you stock up on your prescription medications, keep them in a secure, discreet place in your home.  Do not tell friends that you have them or where they are.  If word gets out that you have a supply of prescription meds in your home, drug thieves may target your home.  A US military study showed that medications in pill form will last 15 years. (This is very general – as a lot of meds may require refrigeration or do have short potency life spans.) A medicine in capsule form will last 1-2 years, and liquid meds a year or less. You will want to keep some in your bugout bag and get home bag, rotating them periodically.

How to Power Electric Medical Equipment in a Grid-down Situation

Do you use a CPAP for sleep apnea?  Does someone in your group use a heating pad for arthritis or sore mucles?  Does anyone use a TENS unit or muscle stimulation unit for chronic pain?  Does a family member use an oxygen pump for a breathing ailment?  Does a disabled person use an electric scooter?

If electric medical equipment are to be used in an extended grid-down situation, plans must be made for an alternative power supply.  Options include wind power and water power, although most preppers choose a solar system.  http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2017/01/26/affordable-off-grid-solar-electric/ describes a solar power system that can be used to power electric medical equipment.

http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2017/01/26/affordable-off-grid-solar-electric/ describes a solar power system that can be used to power electric medical equipment.  http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2017/08/31/prepare-power-grid-outage/ offers guidance on setting up a solar system, a backup generator, and a supply of batteries.  You can also find portable solar battery rechargers on amazon.

http://www.theprepperjournal.com/2015/12/14/p3solar-dynamo-plus-review-backup-power/ is a review of a small portable solar system.  Look at your current and future needs for electrical power, and consider options before choosing one.

Physical Things You Can Do

When my PA recommended exercise a couple years ago, I chose to join a local gym and go 3 times a week.  I needed cardio exercise for my heart, exercises to strengthen my low back and core muscles, and weights to add some upper body strength.  Regular exercise has increased my energy, endurance, and strength. It has also improved my memory and quality of sleep.  I feel years younger.  My low back and hip problems meant I could not jog outdoors, but using an elliptical, step machine or stationary bike are low-impact cardio workouts.  Once I got past some initial muscle soreness (my PA recommended bananas and/or a potassium supplement), exercise makes me feel years younger.  To limit possible soreness when you begin exercising, ease into it; stop before you feel worn out.  Regular exercise can help you improve your health and prepare physically for the stresses of a disaster.

Exercise can reduce your chronic pain because exercise releases endorphins in your body that act as natural pain relievers.  If you suffer from low back pain, do some exercises to strengthen your low back and front core muscles; this will reduce your back pain by letting your muscles take some pressure off your spine.  I have found this to be true for my low back pain.

It is possible learn to do spinal adjustments on your own back, which will be important for those of us with spinal issues.  Here are some resources that show you how.

https://www.wikihow.com/Crack-Your-Back

https://www.wikihow.com/Do-an-Upper-Spinal-Rotation

https://healthfully.com/chiropratic-methods-can-do-yourself-5462972.html

As you make your medical preparations, consider the medical needs of your household or group.  What do you need now and in the next 3-5 years?  Customize your medical preps for you and those closest to you.  Hard times are coming.  Will you and your family or group be medically ready?

If you reply with a question, I will try to help, and maybe others can help too.

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