#I get that writers want to tell a story that nobody already knows because anybody who's played the games knows how The Story Goes

[r0bita]

People saying that fans weren't that mad about Grant, one of the original 4 party members, not showing up in the first two seasons of the Netflix Castlevania were clearly not at all aware or just not part of the Castlevania crowd when it was first airing, because I remember a lot of people being very ticked off and not liking the writers' explanation for why they left him out. The reason why nobody hears about it anymore was because people got exhausted (from being emotionally devastated) by season 3 (still sour about that) and by the season 4 when Greta finally to showed people were begrudgingly accepting of it because she was a cool character.

Not to mention the months and years between the entire production would have left people not really interested in seasons 3 and 4 by the time they aired. I wasn't even watching and bits of what I had seen or heard just didn't sit with me because 2 ended on a high note. And this is coming from someone who was very hyped about Death's appearance by the end of 4.

That being said, it is still f****** ridiculous that it took four seasons for Grant/Greta to show up and be relevant. That still pisses me off the more I think about it...

Also everything leading up from St. Germain's character arc... ehhh...

OC Isaac was pretty much carrying the second half of that show.

Nocturne looks cool but plot wise it doesn't really impress me overall. It's kinda it's own thing which is okay... Juste was a pleasant surprise, but I think I would have preferred something independent from the previous Netflixverse.

[etaleah]

The thing that pains me the most about recent Shadow portrayals being all “Friendship is for the weak! It’s pathetic! I don’t NEED friends!” is that this is an idea that could actually be done amazingly, beautifully well if a good writer with a decent amount of creative freedom was behind it.

Picture it: Shadow is still grieving the only friend he ever had. She was stolen from him, killed before his very eyes, and he can’t bear it. He can never, ever, let that happen again because it will break him even more than he already is. And then, subconsciously, he realizes that he’ll never have to suffer the pain of losing a friend if he never has any friends to lose.

Thus begins his (again, mostly subconscious) decision to push people away and make sure nobody can be his friend. Because that way lies misery, and he knows better this time. He’ll protect himself by keeping everyone at arm’s length. Anybody who tries to get too close will be pushed away.

The other characters don’t realize this, of course. They don’t know about the details of Shadow’s experience with Maria, so they have no choice but to assume he’s just like this, but the audience knows where he’s really coming from. We know that Shadow is acting from a place of grief, fear, and trauma, using the only defense mechanism he knows, but the characters mistake those traits for anger and hatefulness.

Think of the conflict and tension possibilities! You could have Rouge or Sonic or Cream or someone else trying so hard to reach out to Shadow, thinking there must be some good under all that harshness, and he gets scared and starts putting up emotional walls. Maybe they fight over this, yell at him, demand to know what they ever did to make him be so mean to them, and he doesn’t want to tell them because no one understands and maybe he doesn’t even fully understand why he’s like this because Shadow has a hard time with feelings. You could even have moments where he’s tempted to lower his walls, when he sees everybody having fun and just for a moment wishes he could do that too, but he doesn’t dare because he knows what will happen if he does.

At some point it all comes to a head, the truth comes out, there’s more fights, and eventually Shadow finally breaks down and cries because deep down he doesn’t really want to be alone, but alone is what he knows and the only option that makes him feel safe. And then you get this lovely scene of him finally being comforted, cared for, told that it’s better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all, etc., with him finally being welcomed into their group at the end.

Why can’t we have that story? I would pay good money to read, watch, or play that story. I want it so badly I might just write it myself. Because it’s a much better, more sincere, and more narratively satisfying story than “Shadow looks down on friendship because he’s an asshole who thinks he’s better than everyone else for no reason.”

[rebeccaberry]

My Top Ten Tips For Writing Horror!

Hello all! As people who've seen almost any of my posts will know, I am a horror writer, and I always love seeing people try their hand at it, so here are my top ten tips for writing horror:

Write what you know scares you. Writing what you know isn't going to be helpful in horror writing for a lot of it, instead, if you focus on writing what scares you, then you're more likely to scare others. Of course, writing what you know when it comes to making characters realistic is still good advice.

Use foreshadowing. Foreshadowing is one of the best tools in any type of writing, but I find that it works especially well when writing horror.

Write longer sentences than you usually would. This makes the reader feel uncomfortable, because the natural pauses that are usually included in sentences are absent, you build more tension this way. Example: I noticed that the doorway to the house was slightly ajar, somebody was already inside, I pushed open the door and it creaked loudly as the rusty hinges strained, moving inside I noticed two things immediately, a thick stench in the air that reminded me of rotting flesh and the fact that everything in the house was coated in layer upon layer of dust. Make sure not to overdo it because then the reader will become used to the longer sentences.

Don't show everything straight away (or at all). If you show the reader everything about the monster/event early it takes away a lot of the mystique that leads to it being scary, and even revealing everything at the end can be a bad idea, because then nobody wants to reread your piece of writing.

Don't fall into cliches. I'm not saying you shouldn't have cliches in your story, they wouldn't be cliches if people didn't use them. But if you're using them, use them with purpose, make sure it fits, and don't overdo it.

Use vivid descriptions... But don't tell the reader everything. When it comes to descriptions too much is often worse than nothing at all, because a lot of the time when nothing is left to the imagination, things stop being scary.

Don't rush the payoff. Have you ever seen the opening to scream where Casey Becker gets the call from Ghostface? He's toying with her, there's that building sense of unease as Casey realises that something is horribly wrong, and so does the audience. Well, that scene wouldn't have worked nearly as well as it did if Casey had picked up the phone, been asked what her favourite scary movie is straight away, and then stabbed in the back. The payoff is always going to be better if the buildup is good.

Have some downtime between the doom and gloom. If it's always scary and your characters are always running for their lives, then eventually the reader is going to get desensitized, nowhere should be entirely safe, and they should always be on their toes, but having (even small) moments of respite, will be good for when you want the reader to actually be scared.

Practice. I know, it's cliched, but practice does make perfect, over time. If you give up because your writing doesn't match your expectations, then you'll never be able to meet your expectations, in fact, I recommend never letting yourself quite reach your expectations, always have a goal in mind that you are working towards.

The most important one... Have fun, I know, I know, this is the most cliched thing here, but it's still the most important, if you aren't having fun, then you're doing something wrong.

And there you have it! Those are my top ten tips for writing horror, if anybody sees this and wants me to do a top ten tips for writing mystery I'd be happy to give that a go. Bye now!

[oathbreakerapologist]

Lost Scenes/Fic Game

Thanks for tagging me, @smehur :)

Copy/pasted rules:

We all probably have them, those scenes that never made it to the story, the stories that never went anywhere, all those small and larger bits of love we wrote and still hoard on out hard drives. So now - let's share!

The rules are simple:

1. Share a piece of fic that you cut out for some reason, or a piece of a fic that you began and never continued, some lost piece of your writing, be it long or short, prose or verse. Unfinished Art and Illustrations are also welcome.

2. Tag five or more people who might want to share a piece of their writing or art. Specific questions are welcome, but don't need to be adhered to.

3. Be kind. Let's spread positivity. Show support for your fellow artists and writers. Laughing along is great, mocking is not welcome.

4. Tagging someone back is totally fine, if the person doesn't want to share anything else, or anything at all, for that matter, that's fine too.

I'm feeling too shy at the moment to tag anybody but for my mutuals: if you see this and wanna do this too, consider this a tag from me lol

What follows is part of a cut scene from my Untitled Long Writing Project, a piece of original fiction set in a world I've been building for a bunch of projects. At least, it's cut for now because I don't currently know where it goes, but I quite like it, so it'll probably end up in there somewhere.

———

It was when Axolina was rubbing a grassy-scented tincture into the wounded skin of Zasha's back that he took the opportunity to ask her about what Zoya had said.

“May I ask you something?” Zasha began.

“You may,” Axolina said.

“Something about yourself?”

“Then no, you may not.”

He turned, wincing a bit at the way the movement amplified the sting of the tincture, and he raised an eyebrow.

“Mm, why not, then?” she said with a soft chuckle, as if responding to something he’d said. “What is it?”

Zasha turned back, staring at the soapsuds floating across the surface of the bathwater. “I was talking to Zoya the other day and she mentioned—just offhandedly, you know—something about you being a conjurer. That you’d always been a conjurer. I’d just… never heard of anything like that before. I thought conjuration was always something learned; I thought it couldn’t be innate. I’ve just been wondering about that ever since.”

“Is Zoya in the habit of telling you things about me?”

“No,” he said quickly, “No. That’s why this one stood out to me, I think. I think she mentioned it because she thought I already knew. I think she thought you’d already told me. She spoke like that—like it was nothing more than a simple fact for the both of us.”

“Mm. She was right,” Axolina said, “I’ve always been a summoner. You were lied to, I’m afraid, by your Vayan arcane preparatory schools or wherever else you were taught. But it’s not your fault. It’s easiest for everybody when it gets forgotten.”

“When what gets forgotten?”

“Just a turn of phrase, dollface. It sounds better in my language. All I mean is that I’m not terribly surprised that nobody ever told you that one could be born with conjuration magic.”

“So you were born with it?”

She paused for a second, dabbing more of the tincture against another one of his wounds, making him let out a hiss of pain. “Yes,” she finally said, “I was. My father had it, though not from birth, and I inherited it.”

He kept on staring into the bathwater, mental cogs rapidly turning. “I see why you’ve been absolutely devastating the rest of us in Lesser Conjuration, then,” he finally said.

“Indeed,” she said. “In that alone, I can call myself an expert.” There was no self-congratulation in her voice; there was barely even self-satisfaction.

“An expert,” he echoed, measuring the way that he knew her to hold her cards close against the competing fact that, as he’d learned in Lesser Conjuration, this was clearly a subject in which she was happy to show off. “So you’re quite good at it, then? I mean, beyond the showing-off you’ve done in that class. How far can you really go?”

“This has become a lot of questions about me,” she said.

“I like knowing.”

“I know.”

He paused, searching for an angle. “Sometimes I feel like I don’t know anything about you.” True, if perhaps a bit pointed.

“You know plenty of things about me,” she said, then paused herself for a second as if trying to recall something he did know about her. “You know my last name.”

He couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m just full of information, aren’t I?” he teased. “I’m a repository of facts about you, downright plumbing the depths of what your name is and at which institution you got your novitiate’s degree.” He heard a quiet laugh from her.

“I’ll tell you about the summoning,” she said in a soft voice. “In just a moment.”

He almost held his breath.

She went to the sink to wash the tincture from her hands, then sat back down on the broad rim of the bathtub, this time leaning against the wall so that she faced him. Axolina had a strange expression on her face for a moment, something almost like a grimace fixed at something far off in the distance, far beyond the confines of the bathroom walls. But then she met his eyes. “I can summon countless things,” she began, and if it were coming from anyone else in any other tone, that statement would almost certainly sound self-aggrandizing. “Many of them are terrible, and a handful of them are wonderful. Almost all are monsters. Anything I’ve seen I can summon, and I’ve seen more than enough. They come to me in my dreams.”

“And you really were born with that magic?” he asked in disbelieving awe.

“I was,” she said. “I’ve been a conjurer since I was a child. But that’s its own story. I might tell you that one another time.” She clearly noticed the enthusiastic look on his face, and she added, “Maybe.”

If it weren’t for what he’d seen from her in their Lesser Conjuration class, he wouldn’t believe any of it at all. But he’d seen plenty, and perhaps more importantly, she’d told him so little about herself that he almost couldn’t imagine her bragging.

Axolina looked for a moment like she was having an idea. “I’ll show you a bit of it next time, if you’d like,” she mused.

“Please do,” he said, enraptured by the possibility. Every piece of information, every chance to peer behind the curtain of her careful non-identity felt like being allowed to take another step further into a private little world. “ I’d love to see.”

She smiled softly but gave no response as she looked past him at the tiled back wall.

Eventually, he hazarded one more chance: “May I ask you one more question?” She, so far, had divulged quite a bit of information to him tonight, and he felt as if he ought to aim high.

“You might as well, at this point,” she said.

He froze for a moment; he’d been so caught up in the idea that he might learn one more thing about her that he’d hardly thought of what he might ask. Zasha sat there, staring into the bathwater—by now thoroughly room-temperature—for a long moment before he asked, “How old are you?”

She laughed. “Twenty-six. No, twenty-seven.”

His first reaction was surprise, though he had a sense he would have been surprised by any answer she gave. Her having any age at all was vaguely curious, as if he could hardly imagine her having done anything less than springing into existence fully formed some innumerable eons ago. Then came the perplexity. “Forgot which one?” he said, half-teasing.

“I’m not used to being twenty-seven yet,” she said, “I only turned twenty-seven yesterday.”

[the-pitchfork-kids]

IMPORTANT ANNOUNCEMENT.

This will be regarding the future of the PFK series. Please read EVERYTHING it is very important.

I've been doing a lot of thinking lately about the direction of the series and being a better writer and such and I've realized that- I really dislike Headless Hummingbirds. I think it's sort of well-known within y'all by now that it was originally a joke. A silly joke for my friends- and it somehow blossomed into this big idea and story that I want to tell through my writing, but because Headless Hummingbirds was originally a joke- and ultimately, that time the group was changing far more than right now, it causes a lot of plot points and characters to be rushed and messed up and it was just all a mess to write.

That plus the fact I never put any real effort into this to being with all led to a product yes, but a product I could have improved. At the time I kept holding myself to deadlines and I forced myself to publish the absolute moment I could, I never through of re-writing and despised the idea of writing a draft so I just published what I had and called it a day.

That was back in September, five months ago- and a girl can change in those months.

Since I've published the book I looked more into actually learning how to write better- because nobody, no matter what you wish; can make a career on pure talent alone. You gotta actually take time to learn stuff- so that I did!

And that learning made me realize that I really dislike the book and I don't want to continue the series with a book starting it off like that. I want this to be good and entertaining- I want this to tell the story right. And what I've made currently is nowhere near how I want to tell the story.

I won't get into nitty, gritty details of what I dislike and what I think is wrong- because I don't want anybody's pity. I just want patience and understanding.

I have decided to re-write Headless Hummingbirds.

So book two will be paused- and actually the few pages of it I already have are going to be deleted. I now know what I want to do with this series unlike before- and I'd like to start with a book in this series that I wrote keeping that in mind. I want to start with a book I put effort in, that I knew was something big I wanted, not a silly joke that I accidentally blew up.

The original idea for Headless Hummingbirds was supposed to be a big, fat, joke. It was supposed to be 50 pages of fun nonsense for us to laugh at- I was actually planning to start writing a different book at the time, but then as I wrote I kept needing more and more pages and adding more and more and eventually- you got Headless Hummingbirds.

But that Headless Hummingbirds can be improved- it can be better and I want it to be. I want to give you guys quality that you'll actually enjoy reading- not something you'll just tolerate for the sake of getting to see what happens to the main gooberish cast.

Now I will say, a re-write does come with some complications that you may or may not like- but I know this is the best decision for my series. I know what I want- and I want to deliver it to you guys in a way that had heart and soul poured into it instead of overused metaphors and brainless ideas.

What does this mean for the audiobook?

This means not that much for the audiobook project actually.

If you don't know, I'm producing a voice-acted audiobook for Headless Hummingbirds- because I'm really extra like that.

In all seriousness, you don't have to worry. The audiobook will still come out- and it won't be paused either! Now it will still take a long while to be published- probably taking till next September or November to release because of re-casting issues and VA's quitting, but the re-write has not effected it at all.

It just means we'll have two Headless Hummingbirds audiobooks!

Speaking of...

What does this mean for the old Headless Hummingbirds book?

Again, it doesn't mean too much- it just means that everything that book says it no longer canon!

As you might have griped- not too long ago I updated saying that the book was the "prologue" to the series, to try and make it seem like a faraway distant to the better books of the franchise I was going to write- but it still didn't feel right.

Now I will still keep it up on the blog! Because it's still a part of the series and should still get it's spot! Though it will be listed as the "Beta Draft," acting sort of as those concept art releases shows will have! This is what we thought of before compared to what you got!

Honestly, that is what it is- I got all the ideas out onto paper- now it just needs re-working and an uncluttered brain to organize them into a proper story- and honestly, I think it's very cool and interesting to look at concept ideas for shows and games- so why shouldn't books have that same thing? Why shouldn't I share the concept and the splatter of messily conceived ideas that brought you the real product?

So don't worry, the book will still be up- it just won't be canon anymore. I know a lot of you probably really liked the original and won't like the fact some of it will have changed, but trust me. The story will be almost identical to the new one I'm writing- just a few character, relationship, setting and event changes is all.

And hey! Who knows, I might make it a thing I do! Share the concept manuscript for the actual installment so you can see where the glory you read came from!

What does this mean for the blog?

Does this mean a restart? Does this mean a deletion? Does this make every single post up to this point incorrect? No No And again, no. Most of the posts I already said aren't canonical don't canonize anything specific I plan on changing from Headless Hummingbirds.

This also does not mean the blog is going to be stopped.

Yes, I have been cheating you out of incorrect quote content- but that due to something entirely different.

Something called school.

(And Hazbin Hotel but I digres.)

But the blog will run smoothly and most everything of recent is 100% canon if I didn't already say it wasn't canon!

In conclusion

I hope you guys wait and stick around to see the re-write of Headless Hummingbirds. I really do, I want to start the series with a book that I wrote knowing what I wanted our of it. I'm a terrible pantser and that is very noticeable in my writing- so this would help me make everything better for you guys! I really want you guys to love this series and I'm going to try my best and write you quality, entertaining things for you to enjoy later down the line!

Thank you for reading

And thank you for your patience :)

I cannot wait to get you the actual HH book!

[ageless-aislynn]

I got this comment on "The Price" (Killer Frost!Caitlin Snow x Hunter Zolomon, The Flash) (suuuuuuuper NSFW) and it just made me all

(In case it's hard to read, it says: "I have no idea who these characters are, but it doesn't matter. This was delightful and I definitely get the gist of the story ;)")

I'm not entirely sure that, in my entire time or writing fic, that I've had anybody who didn't already know the fandom read something of mine.

And I realized this had hit near to something that has made me really insecure about my writing for, oh, 30 years or so. *shrugs in old* Way back when, I sold a handful of stories to a couple of actual print anthologies and magazines. I was over the moon when the first book came out. I could go in a bookstore and pick up a book on the shelf and my (writer's) name was in it!

I was so excited, I bought half a dozen copies, signed them like a fool, and gave them to various friends and family. I knew none of them read what I wrote back then (action fantasy) but I'd read for years about writers who had people tell them, "Oh, I don't read this type of story but I LOVED yours!" At the very least, I thought people would want to check it out (for free) since it was mine. And I signed it! Like a fool!

Most of them gave me their books back. The ONE single comment I got about the story itself has lived in my head ever since: "So when are you going to write something that's good?"

They thought I was essentially writing trash on purpose because it apparently sold for some reason.

My poor little fragile story, written earnestly with love, my very first published piece, was just trash. If that had been true, it would've hurt a lot less. That actually hurt more than the time I was up for an award and had somebody tell me they felt like they had lost IQ points reading my story because that first one came from somebody who actually knew and loved me. But my writing was garbage to them. Something I was (hopefully, in their opinion) just churning out to get a little bit of money.

You know, I don't blame them for that, reading something in a genre you don't like or aren't familiar with often doesn't read like "good" writing. You don't know the lingo or the beats or can see what was well or cleverly done within the usual structure of that genre. Just like a lot of people won't watch vids for fandoms they don't know but if they do, they won't get the references because they don't know the characters, plots and show itself. It's okay. Nothing wrong with that. Also nothing wrong with reading something and legit thinking it sucks, not because you don't know the genre but because you just don't like it.

I just wish that hadn't gotten in my head so young. I eventually stopped trying to sell my fiction, stopped writing completely for 6 years. That fool who thought somebody would want a signed copy of the book she had a story in... She had joy in her writing, even if it wasn't good.

I've struggled to find that joy again and I hate that I can love something I wrote, then a lack of comments or kudos or hits can take me back to that feeling, as the joy drains to embarrassment. "When are you going to write something that's good?" Well, apparently not today.

I always wanted to write, always thought I'd keep trying until I one day would publish a novel, then a second, then onward. I gave up on that idea. Why would anybody pay for a book that nobody even wanted for free, right?

Writing fanfic was my way of still getting to write but lack of engagement makes it hard for me to keep motivated. It's nobody's fault but my own. These stupid insecurities I've carried for so long, that lingering feeling of embarrassment (nothing like signing your bag of garbage and handing it to someone as if they've even want it!)... I don't know how to get rid of them. Or at least to get them out of the way so that I can just enjoy writing again, with no expectations. Just write it and if I like it, then it doesn't matter if it gets no response.

I don't know. If you're still reading this, I wish I had some inspiring ending to put here, so if you struggle with something like this, it would leave you feeling uplifted and inspired.

This whole introspective thing kicked off with that anon comment, so I guess I'll end with this: if you ever wonder if your comment would matter, yes, it does. I don't know if that anon would ever read this post, but I wish they would know that, with that comment, it was like they'd reached back in time to younger!me, standing their holding their stupid book that had been handed back to me for the nth time. It was like somebody said the one thing I was hoping that somebody would:

I don't usually read this but I enjoyed it. It made me feel something. Thanks for sharing it.

Younger!me would've been really happy to hear that. 💖

[editions-krizaliz]

i’m sorry frida, but i don’t want to end up like you.

I’m tired of not being a famous writer. I really am!

It is hard to be a writer in the twenty first century. Everything happens so fast that by the time you manage to write something down it is already irrelevant. Trends move faster than thoughts. It’s easy to be a writer. But, what does it matter if nobody reads what you write?

To-day it seems, at least from where I’m standing; that, no one cares about the written word. Even though all we are, are tweets and posts. Ironic. We went from carefully constructing verses and counting syllables to carefully constructing tweets and counting characters.

For the last few months I’ve been building a website, learning and practicing. Trying to build a place with no walls where words are loved. For the last few months I’ve been trying to become a recognized author. It turns out that writing and being a writer are two different things. Anybody can write. We do it all the time. Simple messages. Tweets, blogs, titles for YouTube videos, etc.

A child writes a message for her best friend. A moronic president writes a tweet. Some people even write Stories every day! I write. But what? And why! It’s all useless. I tell myself sometimes that I should get a real job; writing lab reports and financial spreadsheets.

Nobody reads anymore.

The modernists made sure of that. Being a writer is not about writing. A writer spends months without touching a piece of paper; months without even realizing that the strings of words are forming in the mind. Putting the words on paper is just a technicality. Pure literature exists regardless of the physical form.

We value the words. But sadly, it seems that we do not love them anymore. Words are ubiquitous in this century. And I am glad! I’m so fucking glad that there aren’t anymore pricks like T. SS Eliot dictating what “true” literature is and what it isn’t. Well, to be clear, there are still pricks dictating what true literature is.

They are called scholars. Some of them teach in universities. I’m sorry, these are my thoughts. They come and go as they please. What was I saying? Ah yes. I’m tired of not being a famous writer. I don’t desire fame. I just want my works to be read; I want what all writers want. This isn’t making any sense. I sound like a prescriptivist asshole. It is just that I’m tired of not being a famous writer.

Forgive me Frida Kahlo

It’s just that I’ve been inside for too long. Inside my house. Inside my room. Inside my head. I’m not used to being alone with myself. I thought that I wanted to be a writer but I was wrong. It is not enough for me, these days it never is. Being a writer is boring. It doesn’t pay the bills. But, being a famous writer is a whole different thing.

People actually want to read what you have to say, people pay attention to your words and they write essays about, they write news articles and tweet about them. Being a famous writer is the best thing that can happen to a writer. And I’m tired of not being a famous writer.

The problem is… there are many ways one can become a famous writer. Sylvia Plath is famous and so is Frida Kahlo. And look at how they ended up. Frida Kahlo is now more famous than her work, nobody gives a shit, I bet you can’t even name one of her paintings or one of her poems. Poor Frida. They turned her into a product.

They sell the idea of Frida over anything else. Forgive me Frida; but, I don’t want to end up like you.

I want to be a famous writer. And it appears that in the 21st century you need to know a lot of SEO. Because according to WordPress: “code is poetry.”

I know it seems that I hate Frida Kahlo.

I don’t.

I hate what they did to her. I hate that I grew up in Mexico and that I can’t name any of her paintings or her poems. I hate that I can tell you the poems of John Milton but nothing about her. I hate that to-day, Frida Kahlo is just a face.

Like the rest of us.

I hate that we made her ubiquitous and simple and boring. She was just a crazy painter they say. She is only famous because of her looks and being married to a true painter they say. I’m sorry Frida. I’m sorry that you went from artist to symbol to merchandise and then to meme. I’m glad you can fly. I just wish that somebody would have recorded your voice.

I want to be a famous writer; not a writer who is famous. I have been using Instagram and YouTube to become famous. I’ve tried to be popular. To use the right hashtags. To say the right things and to post at the correct time of day. But I’m just tired. I am a writer. And, I want to be famous for it. I want my words to be read. Regardless of their form. That’s why they are not printed. Because what matters are the words. Once out there, they are immortal.

They just need to be read and brought into life by someone other than myself. If I read them I’d only be killing them softly. I want to be a famous writer; but, I think I’m going to have to break the rules of the game.

Forgive me Frida Kahlo; I’m tired of not being a famous writer.

[deardragonbook]

I’ve been an author for one full year now

As of today, 31st of July. It’s been one full year since my debut novel Dear Dragon came out. 

The thing people don’t tell you about going from writing a story behind closed doors to publishing it is sitting at the computer with the mouse hovering over the send button questioning every word you put down on paper up until that moment. 

People tell you about how there is always more to be done, you can always do just one more draft, but eventually, you have to say “enough”, and move onto the next step. Deciding its time to put that story into the world is far more difficult than just editing one more draft. 

I don’t know how many times you expect to read that story before publishing. I read mine well over twenty times. The amount of scenes that got lost or changed along the way. 

Characters got left behind. 

Whole plotlines got cut out. 

The world grew ever bigger. 

What once was going to be a standalone became a series and with the second book release just around the corner and third book already in its second draft, I struggle to remember how I got here. 

Things get easier. That I can say. My first book took four years of polishing, my second book took a year and a half, perhaps one? I forgot to write down the starting date... and I prefer my second book to my first. I think it’s different, less actions, more characters moment, but I think it’s better. I think I’m a better writer. I think I’m more confident in my ability and I have better access to the tools I need. 

I also haven’t seen anybody talk about all the things you’re going to need to learn to be an author, other than writing! And no, I don’t mean researching random topics. I mean, marketing, you need to market your book and that means understanding social media, that means being confident in front of a camera a lot of the time, it means speaking clearly; it means writing posts like these; it means being okay with rejection from people making fun of your appearance on YouTube to working for hours on a video that gets seven views... you also might want to learn how to manage your author website, how to make promotional material, how to take appealing photos of your book...��

Or you might be able to afford to pay other people for all of that, in which case, good on you for creating work for others! 

That’s a lot of things I’ve had to learn this past year and I like to think each book I publish is going to be better than the last and I’m going to be better and more prepared to deal with publishing and marketing. 

Every year I learn more. 

Being an author has been really difficult at times: when nobody bought a book or downloaded any of my freely available stories in like three months, it was demotivating and it felt like nobody was giving me a chance. 

But I also had so many small moments that felt like I was on top of the world: 

First books I sold. 

First reviews. 

My first five star review on Amazon which to this day I go back and read because it makes me feel more confident in my writing than anything else. Strangers pointing out everything I did right is just amazing. 

The first time somebody commenting on one of my social media posts, had clearly read the book, and they reminded me, there are people in the world who have read this. This isn’t just my story anymore, other people get to experience it. 

Looking for ARC readers for my second book and people actually signing up! 

Someone messaging me to say they read and enjoyed my book. 

Finding time to write between school and work and keeping my home clean and taking care of my health, it’s hard work. 

Saving up every day of the year so I can afford the cover and the proof copies I need to be able to publish and market the next book in the series is exhausting. 

But I don’t think there’s anything in my day to day life that make’s me happier than these stories, than the knowledge that they’re out there for others to read and all of those small moments I’ve listed above. 

I’ve come to accept the industry is not lucrative for most indie-authors. It’s trend based and if what you write isn’t what the market is looking for at any given time, you’re writing mostly for yourself. It’s a difficult pill to swallow, but I love my stories enough to deal with that. 

I’m not going to stop writing even if nobody is reading it. I think that’s what being passionate about something is about. 

Anyway, to celebrate one full year since Dear Dragon’s release, you can actually get the ebook for free today (July 31st) or tomorrow (August 1st). 

Get your free copy here. 

I wanted to do more than talk about my feelings and give people the chance to read the book for free, but I couldn’t actually think of anything cool to do. 

Especially with this summer, the heat is unbearable here in Spain and a lot of days I’m just fighting for breath. 

Hopefully next year or sometime soon I’ll be able to find cool ways to celebrate this book and my passion for writing. 

For now though, I have a lot of content on a lot of different sites. I have free stories to read and everything can be found here. 

[disco-tea]

You’re so right, Seeing Red really did not have to happen like that. Spike’s epiphany that he needed to get his soul back didn’t have to happen in the form of any sort of horrible violence, whether it be attempted rape, murder, or anything else in that ballpark. It could have just been a simple realization. But nope, Whedon HAD to choose the shock value route despite both everyone on the writing team AND the actors involved telling him it was a bad idea.

Oh op…the unbridled rage I have within me over seeing red…one of those things in canon I would truly like to legitimately light on fire. One of the things that makes me think, yeah, I could actually strangle Whedon. Admittedly, this kind of turned into a bit of a rant and I’m sorry op I just sorta dumped all my thoughts because I have a lot of them, but I don’t talk about this a lot because it’s a subject that makes me uncomfy. Anyway, imma put the rest of this under the cut.

But anyway, you know…I don’t *personally* vibe with most of S6, I just don’t vibe with it because I don’t think it had to be that way. And I totally get people who do think it’s interesting, it is to a degree, but I don’t love it because it feels inconsistent to me, because I don’t feel like it fits with where the characters were development-wise. I don’t think it had to be that way, and to me, it feels like a poor attempt at a slap in the face to the audience who wanted Spike and Buffy together. Like “see. See how bad this is? This is why it won’t work and you were stupid for thinking it would.”

But all that aside…I could’ve gotten over the rest of the season, I could’ve dealt with anything but THAT. People talk about like…’ violating the trust between audience and creator.’ THAT DID IT. Every other stupid writing choice aside, there was NO REASON to subject your audience and your actors and your writers to that. It’s one thing when the actors and the audience go into something knowing they’re going to be dealing with that subject matter, but to throw that in 6 seasons down the road and furthermore with the purpose of demonizing a character you were mad the audience was sympathizing with is truly one of the shitiest things you could do as a writer and just a person in charge in general. To do that to the audience that is invested and to the actors who are IN CONTRACT. And in the last leg of the season no less, when nobody knew it was coming and didn’t have any prior warning.

And see…that’s the other thing. The thing about it that really pisses me off…it didn’t add anything meaningful to the conversation about that subject. It didn’t tell an impactful story about the subject, literally the only reason for it was to manufacture an excuse for ‘redemption’ he low key already had and to prove to the audience he was a bad person after they’d spent 3 seasons showing us how he was becoming a better person and really wasn’t that bad.

It was shitty and a cheap shot, and not something anybody asked for.

And again, it just makes me so mad. Not only that they did it in the first place, not only because it was out of character, but then because they went there and did THAT...later on they started acting like he was that kind character all along, (as of he wasn’t the type of person who seriously preferred monogamy and who loved his vampire wife so much, and was mostly interested in the violence and fighting aspect of being a vampire)

And yeah, I get they felt like they were trying to line up with continuity, but the way S7 pushed the ‘yeah, soulless Spike was always a r*pist’ narrative is one of those things that really rankles me. Because they act like it was a given, like this has been something canon all along, as if they didn’t start season 6 leaving him and trusting him with the care of a freaking teenage girl. A teenage girl who then they had Spike drag into the conversation about that, and yeah, don’t get me wrong, I like the latter half of the speech in Never Leave Me, and I get Spike is trying to get Buffy to kill him and that’s a good way to do it, but it’s the way they bring Dawn into that and frame him that way as if he was ever anything but good and protective and caring towards her. As if he’d ever lay a finger on her.

And my final thought in that vein, about how it was stupidly out of character, is that if you ever watch Spike’s reaction in Crush (when Buffy implies the only chance he had with her was when she was unconscious)…it’s the look of realization and then horror and disgust as he processes her words, and I will take that any day over whatever the hell Whedon thought he was doing with seeing red.

But yeah…anywho, circling back around to the original subject, it certainly didn’t have to be THAT, to make him go get the soul. You know what would have worked just as well, and literally would’ve lined up with canon? Spike being heartbroken and upset and somebody saying something harsh to him and it pushes him over the edge. THAT CANONICALLY HAPPENED TO HIM TWICE. That’s what ultimately led to him becoming a vampire, that is literally why he tried to stake himself in Doomed, because he was already upset, and Xander had finally had it with him and said something, and then he literally tried to stake himself.

There was just so many better ways to handle not only the subject of the soul, but Spike’s character in general.

[rowancoms]

I know that this isn’t the time to clown but it also is and here’s why this shitty sounding prequel could, number one, be good— and number two, lead to destiel saga part two!! Because we all want to talk about it and I KNOW WE DO!!

Reason number one!!

Dean, a forty year old (and as of now dead) man that knows only bits and pieces of what truly happened with his parents is narrating an ENTIRE story of how his parents fell in love?? And apparently saved the world?? What the fuck.

Honestly I don’t think we’re paying much attention to this little detail?? Like guys?? It’s not JENSEN ACKLES narrating the story of John and Mary Winchester, it’s DEAN WINCHESTER narrating the story of his PARENTS. How is it going to happen?? Are we going to see Dean?? Are we going to get any background info on WHY Dean is narrating the story?? And, hey isn’t Dean in heaven with his little brother? Couldn’t he be randomly telling all of this shit to little Sammy? The answer to that question is a big no, because

Jared Padalecki has nothing to do with the show.

This is big, guys. This is extremely, EXTRAVAGANTLY big. This means that in Jensen’s eyes, Sam GOT his ending. Sam got his ending in Jared’s eyes, too, which would all be fine and dandy, except, as we all know, Jensen was never really, truly happy with Dean’s “ending”, was he? And I know, you’re probably thinking, hey, isn’t this about John and Mary? And how those shitbags fell in love?? We don’t care about that??? And, on the surface, yes, that generalization of it sounds like absolute hot garbage. It sounds absolutely terrible.

But we have to go DEEPER than John and Mary to actually see how this could have potential, guys, so bare with me on this one, okay? Let’s go deeper than Jensen, and Daneel, and the shit going on with Jared, and all of that crap that’s brewing on the first layer. I’ll get into that in a second, but first,

Where is Misha in all of this?

We all saw Misha’s tweet.

You know, this one. And I’m just saying, JUST SAYING that Misha didn’t HAVE to write ANYTHING about Cas in that tweet. I’m not saying that Misha knows what’s up, of course, but I’m also totally completely saying that Misha knows what’s up. We’ve all seen what’s going on with JARED at the moment, and it’s not pretty, but unlike Jared, Misha didn’t say ANYTHING that even lead us to BELIEVE that he was, in any way, surprised. And, hey, didn’t I ask before about Dean’s knowledge of all of this in the first place??? Misha not only tweeted about Cas being in the show— even if it was a joke, or dare I say meant to be played off as one—but he was ODDLY specific about that time traveling thing. And, as far as we know, Cas is out of the empty and working on heaven, right?? You know who just HAPPENS to be in heaven, and is also a confirmed character?? Do I even need to say it???

It’s Dean, guys.

Am I painting a picture?

No? Well,

Let’s think about this in terms of the canon Supernatural universe and what we know so far.

What do we know about all of this John and Mary bullcrap?

Here’s the thing: we know almost just as much as Dean does, and Dean is the narrator of the story. So why in the ever loving WORLD would Jensen even THINK to make an entire series about all of the shit we’ve already seen? Obviously, Dean is PROBABLY going to be finding out more and more about his parents as we go along with the story, right?

And a very big, very unavoidable detail about Dean’s parents is that they were CANONICALLY forced together by fucking ANGELS. They’re not going to make a prequel of supernatural without SUPERNATURAL, and leaving out the Angel bit in the show would be not only stupid, for one thing, but it would also create a very gaping wormhole in the original timeline, so the writers are going to have to be really careful if they don’t want to undo the seams of the entirety of the supernatural universe as it stands.

I might sound crazy, okay, but I truly and honestly believe that Jensen knows what he’s doing. Dean didn’t have to be a part of this story whatsoever, but he is, and that counts for something, doesn’t it? Nobody said that this was going to be a story glorifying John, or Mary, or anybody. This idea has potential, a whole lot of it, and I’m actually interested to see where it goes. We’re not rolling with Kripke anymore. We’re not rolling with Dabb, or Buckleming, or even Jared, who is as of right now starting an entire riot on Twitter like a five year old. We’re not rolling with any of those other idiots that spend their time off writing wincest fics in their basement. We’re rolling with Jensen, and Daneel, and the people that they TRUST to tell the story of John and Mary, and the people that they TRUST to carry Dean’s character. We should trust them too, shouldn’t we????

[rachelbethhines]

Tangled Salt Marathon - Be Very Afraid

This is the best story arc episode in season three and arguably the best written episode since The Great Tree, but it’s still season three so there are still issues with it. 

Summary: When Zhan Tiri tells Cassandra she must destroy Rapunzel in order to wield the Moonstone's true power, Cassandra discovers that she can create, with fear, red rock spikes that cause fear and freeze their victims. Varian discovers the red rocks and teams up with Rapunzel to use his amber solution on them. Meanwhile, Eugene and Lance decide to throw a talent show to distract everyone from their fears. 

Why Can’t Cassandra Control The Rocks?

The series never gives an actual explanation for this. She could control them just fine in Rapunzel’s Return, so what’s changed? 

There is No Destiny!

There’s no prophecy, no oracle, no grand design nor master of fate to fight back against; the characters literally have no reason to do what they do. If you want destiny to be a goal then you have to establish what that destiny is first. 

What does Cassandra want? How does this connect back to Gothel, Rapunzel, and the Moonstone? Why she just failing about like an idiot here? Did she not have a plan when she threw her life away for this stupid rock? 

And of course Zhan Tiri is lying here, but why should Cassandra believe her? What does she gain by listening to a creepy ghost girl? This ‘destiny’ has not been established, so therefore there’s no hook nor bait for Zhan Tiri to trap her with. 

Leading directly into “you should kill your bestie’ should logically put Cassandra off of Zhan Tiri’s advice for good because Zhan Tiri isn’t actually offering anything. Temptation requires the person to be, you know, tempted by what they want, but Cassandra doesn’t know what she wants so none of this makes sense. 

The writing is desperately trying to make Cass sympathetic here, but all it winds up doing is making her look like a moron instead. 

This Isn’t Consistent

Not only does this fail to explain why Cass could control the rocks previously but no longer can, but it’s also contradicted just a couple of episodes later with the incantation bullshit. 

You need an established magic system in place in order for the character’s actions to make sense show!

This Ultimately Goes Nowhere

Ignoring how Varian should have been in season two and how translating the scroll should have led to freeing his father, which we’ve talked about previously; this subplot should have had more impact on the narrative than it actually did. Yes, Varian’s translation winds up driving the plot of Cassandra’s Revenge, but 90% of that episode winds up being utterly pointless, including the incantations themselves, so.... 

I Like This Sequence; Shame It Winds Up Being Undermined Later  

Unlike the majority of dream sequences in this show, this nightmare has an actual point. It more firmly establishes Varian’s fears and gives the audience some insight into what happened to him back in season one. Something we were sorely lacking. It also becomes the core conflict and drive of Varian’s character development through out the episode. 

Only for the episode to ignore Varian’s real issues and fail to adequately address anything. By series end this plot point will be completely forgotten. The show acts like bringing it up once and then never acknowledging it ever again just magically revolves Varian’s character arc. It doesn’t.  

So How Come Quirin Isn’t Affected By the Rocks? 

He’s right there next to them and he shows no reaction to them at all. You’re telling me the man who lost his home twice to these things, almost died to them, and nearly lost his only child because of them, is just not going to respond to new creepy red ones popping up? 

Quirin would have a treasure trove of trauma to explore in his own right, that undoubtedly would connect back to Varian’s own issues, but we’re just going to ignore it and have Quirin off screen for the majority of the episode?

Are These New Character Models?

Are you shitting me!? 

They built five new models just for a short two minute scene, one where none of the new characters are named nor given lines, only to never appear ever again!

What the fuck? Why did you waste time and money on this? What happened to all of the other background characters you already built? Did a bunch of season one models just get lost or deleted or something? 

Also why are they all wearing green? Is it St. Paddy’s Day? 

This Plot Point Wasn’t Established Enough Beforehand

Look, I’ll buy that there are people in Corona who still blame Varian for what happened in season one and for the Sapoiran take over. I mean they’re only getting half the story and were directly effected by his actions whether or not he intended harm to them. But we needed to see more of it beyond just this one scene.

No one was bullying him in Lost Treasure or The King and Queen of Hearts, so for all purposes he appeared to be integrated back into society, and now you’re telling me he’s not and that Rapunzel risked his well being by forcing him to interact with people who were hostile to him back in Lost Treasure? 

And yeah you can’t really move Lost Treasure back any further than it already is cause that’d leave a giant hole in the wall of the throne room for over a year. Which also makes no sense either. 

Or hey, maybe it’s just Feldspar being an asshole. In which case why should Varian or the audience care? 

Eugene is Wasted

Look I understand that there’s only twenty five minutes to tell this story and that Eugene isn’t the focus of the episode. I also understand that the B-plot is meant to be comedic in order to relive tension from the A plot, but this wasn’t the best way to go about it. 

The B plot swings too far wide in the other direction that it dilutes the tension too much. The A plot now has to work over time to keep the urgency going. I could understand it, if the show wanted start off with small fears first, but it needed to ramp up the drama as it got closer to the climax, not under cut it. 

We never see Eugene freak out over anything other this this cowlick. In fact we never see him scared of anything else beyond this one scene, which undermines Rapunzel’s arc this episode as she’s suppose to be the only one bottling things in. What makes Eugene so special that he can keep a lid on it with out consequences, or are you telling me that a dumb cowlick is his only fear? 

Either answer is stupid. 

I Hope You Have Copies of the Map

You went through all that trouble to steal the journal for this very reason and now here you are prancing around without it like it’s not that big of deal. Way to undermined past story arcs. 

It’s like the writers know that season one was their most successful season, and therefore try to make callbacks to it whenever they can, to make up for ignoring it in season two completely, but they still don’t want to actually acknowledge anything that happened during that season so they just refer to it in the laziest way possible, rendering the previous events pointless. 

So Close and Yet So Far

I’m mainly posting this whole conversation so that you dear readers will have context for what I talk about next. 

For you see, this scene starts out okay and it looks like we’re finally going to address the elephant in the room regarding Rapunzel’s involvement in Varian’s past trauma, only for the scene to immediately side step the issue all together and not resolve the conflict at all. 

No! Don’t Interrupt; Listen! 

Or at least go all the way and accept some of the blame yourself. 

It may look like Rapunzel is comforting Varian here on a superficial level, but without her verballing acknowledging what she did wrong, this action just winds up taking the focus off of Varian and what he needs and places it upon Rapunzel, both narratively and physically.

So what happens is that, in universe, it comes across like she’s just consoling Varian for her own personal comfort rather than genuinely trying to help. 

Why Would Varian Ever Think This? 

Okay, first off this has nothing to do with what Varian was talking about previously. Why would he jump from discussing his trauma to praising Rapunzel? You know the woman who is responsible for said trauma? 

Secondly, this switches the focus of the conflict off of Varian’s specific trauma and makes it about a generic “over coming fear” lesson mixed with an out of place validation issue. Which is not what’s actually needed for his character development; nor for Rapunzel’s for that matter. 

Third, being the sundrop has nothing to do with Rapunzel as a person. Her being born with magical powers was an accident of fate, same as her being royalty. She’s not innately better than anybody else because of this and nobody has any narrative reason to assume otherwise. Especially since her powers are utterly disconnected from her actual personality, choices, and actions. All three of which have become unbearably unpleasant by the last season. 

Finally, Varian, of all people should be the last person on earth to ever think so highly of Rapunzel. Them being friends again is already pushing believability. Him suddenly kissing her ass the same as everyone else this season is just flat out bad writing.  

Varian knows better than anybody what an awful person Rapunzel is. He’s seen her at her worse. He’s seen her not live up to her hypocritical ideals. He knows the larger problems that steam from placing people in power on pedestals. As her former victim, Varian by all accounts should be the one person who can bring Rapunzel down to earth and poke holes into her ego, even while still being her friend. Especially while still being her friend. She needs that! Writing Varian as another blind Rapunzel stan is not only writing him out of character, but it also damages Rapunzel’s own development. 

Also Varian hates magic. Why would he now worship someone just for having magic? 

THIS AIN’T ABOUT YOU BITCH!!!

I literally yelled that at my tv screen when I first saw this scene. Those were my exact words upon the episode’s first airing. And believe it or not, I’m not one to usually scream obscenities at inanimate objects. 

I understand what the writers were trying to accomplish here. They wanted Rapunzel to ease the tension by saying something funny and to make Varian laugh to distract him from his woes; thereby defusing the situation. But it doesn’t work because of season three’s tendency to make Rapunzel the most egotistical, smug, self-centered, abusive, self-righteous twat in the show. 

It really boggles the mind just how unaware the writing is. Like, surely no one makes their protagonist this unlikable on accident. Clearly they meant for Rapunzel to be an ass on purpose right?  They wanted Cass to have a reason to hate her so they decided to make her insufferable to the viewer in a misguided attempt to make Cass more sympathetic? Right? 

Then where is the bloody comeuppance? 

I genuinely thought this was all going to lead somewhere. That Rapunzel was going to learn to be a better person and I would have been fine by that. I would have applauded the show if they had turned her into an asshole intentionally so that they could teach a mature and nuanced lesson about morality. 

But they didn’t, and here I am; still shaking my head in confusion over a year later. 

Seriously what the fuck happened behind the scenes to cause this? How can processionals paid by the largest animation company in the world be so incompetent? 

Having Trauma is Not the Same Thing as Having a Phobia  

This is where Varian’s arc falls apart. Not only does the episode fail to have Rapunzel acknowledge her past wrongs for a second time, but it also completely mishandles Varian’s trauma because it equates it to being an irrational fear. One that can be overcome through pure force of will at that, same as Lance and everyone else’s fears in the episode. 

Ok first off Varian’s fear isn’t irrational. He even just said so at the start of the conversation. Varian’s trauma is very real, it’s not a hypothetical unlike clown-spiders and cowlicks. Also has been given very little reassurance that it won't happen again. Varian has no reason to trust Rapunzel or anybody else in the show. They never owned up to abandoning him previously, and both he and the audience have little reason to believe that Rapunzel wouldn’t just neglect him again if it was convenient for her.   

Secondly one does not simply ‘overcome’ trauma. Oh you can deal with trauma, you can manage it and learn to live with it. But it never goes away. It doesn’t magically disappear just because you ‘faced it’. 

In fact confronting it head on is actually the opposite of what your suppose to do when going through something traumatic. Studies have shown that distracting your mind after a car crash or what have you actually helps with PTSD later on. And ‘dealing with it” doesn’t mean ignoring the problem out right, but rather learning how to function despite the pain. 

But as the show acts like Varian’s trauma never even existed after this episode. 

This Doesn’t Resolve Anything!

What does “being special” have to with fear? How does this help Varian with his trauma? Empty validation has nothing to with what we were just discussing. 

Everyone gets afraid. Everyone has trauma of some sort. Are you telling me that my need for therapy some 20 years after being physically assaulted is just because I’m not special enough? Fuck you show! 

Moreover, this doesn’t resolve the story arc from season one. Varian and Rapunzel’s conflict with each other has nothing to do with self esteem. It was about personal responsibility, conflicting needs, and abuse. Yes, self image and acceptance was a small factor in their motivations, but it was never the driving goal behind their decisions. 

This is yet another broken narrative promise to the audience. There’s no closure to be had from this and leaves the viewer wanting, if not outright frustrated. 

In order to justify this exchange fans have to ‘read between the lines’ and make shit up in order for any of this to make any sense. People who still defend season three do by doing all the heavy lifting that writers themselves should be doing. 

If it’s not on screen, it doesn’t count. 

If Rapunzel never apologizes on screen, then she never apologized. If Rapunzel never checked up on Varian on screen, then she neglected him outright. If Rapunzel never acknowledges her wrong doings on screen, then she’s never learned anything. The characters pretending like she has doesn’t make it so. 

Why Does Cassandra Even Want a Destiny? 

Yes, Zhan Tiri is lying, there is no destiny, but Zhan Tiri being a liar doesn’t absolve Cassandra of her own actions. 

Cassandra herself believes in destiny and is looking for her’s, but why? 

Why does she want a destiny? What is this destiny she’s after? Why does she believe such a thing exists? What does she believe it’ll gain her? Why is she willing to risk so much for such a vague goal? What does any of this have to do with the moonstone or her mother? How does this destiny connect back with her personal feud with Rapunzel? 

It’s all disjointed and confused. Nothing lines up. It’s like the writers just had this dart board full of ideas for Cassandra’s villain arc, but couldn’t decide on which one to go with, so they just threw darts randomly each episode and went with whatever stuck for any given scene.

“Oh she want’s revenge for her mother during this scene, or wait no, she’s actually looking for destiny this episode?” “What destiny?” “Who knows. Now for this scene we need her to be sad because reasons...” “What reason?” “I don't care, make something up... Uuuuh, she’s sad cause she’s not a royal guard still” “But she became a guard during season one.” “Ignore that. Kids won’t remember. Now she needs to be angry and threating here” “Why?” “Because it’ll look cool.” “But why is she angry?” “Cause it looks cool Bob! Geez! Oh but she still needs to be sympathetic so give her a frowny face afterwards. Just have Zhan Tiri remind her how much she hates Rapunzel later, so as to egg her on and keep her doing stupid shit?”  “But why does she hate Rapunzel?”  “Do I have to think of everything BOB!!!???”  

There, there’s my non-so-accurate behind the scene’s glimpse into the Tangled writer’s room when discussing Cassandra’s arc. I could be wrong. There could have been some intricate and complex plan thought out that just didn’t make it onto the screen for whatever reason, or maybe everyone involved was so far up their own ass that they just forgot to give their main villain an actual reason for being the villain. But regardless the over all effect is that Cassandra is handed the idiot ball for a whole freaken season in order to even have a conflict and that is never good writing; or rather she’s hit in the head with it repeatedly. 

This Actually Goes Against Zhan Tiri’s Plan

Zhan Tiri’s short term goal is to be released from her dimensional prison and apparently she needs Cass and Raps to fight into order to do this. This was never established before hand and goes against her disciples pervious plans, but whatever. One could argue that this is just a lie in order to get them to fight later... 

However, this lie jeopardizes her long term goal. She eventually wants to wield both the moonstone and the sundrop herself in order to destroy Corona, but Rapunzel is the sundrop and you can only take her power during an ellipse, supposedly, which means if Cass actually succeeds in killing Rapunzel before then, then Zhan Tiri is up a creek without a paddle. Also if Cassandra did manage to steal Raps’ power with or without an ellipse then Zhan Tiri would still be out of luck. 

This was wholly unnecessary; you didn’t have to go from zero to sixty in one fell swoop. Have Zhan Tiri claim that fighting Rapunzel will award the power to the winner or something. There’s no need to bring up the ‘kill her’ option. That should logically just drive Cassandra away and puts Zhan Tiri’s plan at risk. 

The series wants to act like Zhan Tiri is this master manipulator, a chess master like Zantos or Palpatine, but she couldn’t even tie their shoes. Her plans make no sense and often contradict one another. They only work because the rest of the cast are reduced to imbeciles in order for them to work. 

This Plot Point Contradicts Season Two

His fear of spiders was establish early on, and I’ll accept the clown thing as there’s nothing to contradict it, but Lance has preformed numerous times before now and has never show stage fright. He’s a huge ham and back in Return of Quaid he mentioned how much loved acting and preforming and apparently been on stage before, so where does this fear of singing in public come from? Heck he sung in public just a few episodes ago in Rapunzel’s Return. 

If you have to sacrifice established character into order to make your plot work then you need a new plot. 

This Song is Nice; It Just Needed to Be in a Different Episode 

I’m glad Lance got a solo. He deserved one and the song is good. However it breaks the tension of the climax and gives the episode tonal whiplash. 

More than a song, Lance needed an actual focus episode in season three. One that was fully his. If anyone else shared it with him it needed to be Red and Angry, not Varian and Cass. 

Just imagine if this song came during an episode where he had to watch the girls. Imagine if he was singing it just for them. How much more impactful would that have been? 

Now imagine that we had a Rapunzel and Varian duet in it’s place here. That would have tied the episode together better and helped to further their own stories. Glenn Slater can write lyrics far better than Chris can write dialogue. I bet you a thousand to one Tangled the Series would have solved like half of it’s problems had Menken and Slater been allowed write and actual apology duet between Raps and Varian. 

Such a duet was proposed during Rapunzel’s Return but it could have worked here too, and you could have placed Lance’s solo in Day of the Animals or something, just leave Rapunzel out of that episode all together. 

Nothing honestly needed to be cut music wise, yet for some reason season three has less songs than the other seasons, even when counting the reprises, and they’re mostly shorter too. 

That’s mismanagement right there. Plain and simple. Someone at the top didn’t know how to balance the budget or resources and didn’t know where to the throw the money at. 

You Have a 70 Foot Shield Made of Magic Hair, Rapunzel

You couldn’t think to just block those rocks instead?

Giving your protagonist a big hero moment doesn’t work if they placed the person the have to save in jeopardy to begin with show. 

I Do Not Care About Rapunzel Right Now, Show

Yes, she’s the main character. Yes, her feud with Cass is the main conflict of the season and kicked off the episode. That does not mean that I automatically care about her personal feelings at this moment in time. 

Rapunzel has kept such a tight lid on her real feelings for the whole episode that this just comes out of nowhere. I was never waiting with baited breath for her to confess her deep dark secrets or whatever. 

It’s not even an interesting reveal. It’s just “Oh, see Rapunzel’s human too. She’s gets scared just like everybody else.”. I already fucking knew that, thanks. And what she’s afraid of isn’t even that compelling either; it’s a just a rip off of the prophecy dreams she had back in season one. The same ones that had no explanation and never furthered the story, so why should I care about this one?  

You have to earn the audience’s investment in your conflict. The character’s likability, as little as that may be currently, will only carry you so far, you have to establish shit first.  

Varian’s conflict has been the focus of the entire episode so far, and it’s a conflict that was set all the way back in season one, so of course that is what I’m invested in seeing get resolved. Rapunzel is once again just butting in and making it all about her when it’s not actually her story. 

And if you wanted it to be her story then you should have made her the actual focus to begin with and had her learn something by the end of it. 

This is Poor Choice of Words, Writers 

I could be generous here and pass this off as Rapunzel not fully believing in this prophecy. After all Corona’s destruction is still a hypothetical at this point and Cassandra really has left already. Since the episode is about fear, Rapunzel is of course more afraid of losing Cassandra’s friendship as it’s real tangible possibility. 

More than a possibility even, Rapunzel’s been dumped. Season three is a classic break up story, right down to the poor plotting and tunnel vision, hence why it’s so gay baity. 

However, this reading only carries so far. For starters this is Rapunzel’s what, fourth prophecy dream so far? Haven’t the past three already came true, so why would she think this one wouldn’t? 

Secondly, all that good grace goes right out the window once it becomes clear that, yes, Cassandra is indeed a threat; a threat that Rapunzel refuses to take seriously because she cares more about her own personal validation than her kingdom. 

Even as Cassandra does succeed in destroying Corona, and no doubt harms other people while at it, Rapunzel still is obsessed with ‘winning Cassandra back’. Oh and make no mistake, this is not because she actually cares about Cassandra as a person and her needs or feelings. Nope. Rapunzel just doesn’t like being dumped. 

Why Does Varian Need to Shove His Feelings Aside for Rapunzel’s Bullshit?

Rapunzel’s ‘confession’ has fuck all to do with Varian’s current issues. They do not connect in any way.  

Varian is dealing with real trauma, trauma that she helped cause, while Rapunzel is only dealing with a hypothetical prophecy and one very shallow, self-centered fear. There’s nothing to relate to here. Neither for Varian himself nor the audience. 

Yet for some undefined reason this is what gets Varian to ignore his PTSD flashbacks? What? 

This is once again break the narrative promise. I was promised closure for Varian’s story arc and instead of that the writers just brush it up under the rug. 

From the outside looking in this doesn’t come across as Varian ‘overcoming’ his ‘fear’. It looks like an abuse victim using learned helplessness to placate his abusers.

And yes, for the last time Rapunzel is Varian’s abuser. 

NEGLECT IS ABUSE!!! 

And and even though he is no longer her ‘responsibility’, she is still neglecting him emotionally as his supposed friend. 

Varian’s and Cassandra’s Stories Undermined Each Other’s 

Varian stopped the rocks. Rapunzel had nothing to do with it. Zhan Tiri blaming Rapunzel for it steals agency away from both her and Cassandra. 

However, if Rapunzel had used the hurt incantation to stop the rocks and Cassandra had felt it rom the other side, then you’d have something to back up Zhan Tiri’s claim and an actual point of real conflict to carry the rest of the season. Not to mention an actual tangible goal for Cassandra to work towards, survival. 

Cassandra’s conflict with Rapunzel not only prevents the resolution to Varian’s arc from being satisfying, but Varian fulfilling his arc in turn winds up cutting off Cass’s story at the knees. 

It didn’t have to be this way. Varian’s and Cassandra’s arcs should have complimented each other, but instead the creator decided to make them complete for screen time and relevance. 

It is such an gratingly stupid and petty decision that winds up being a disservice for all the characters involved.   

Cassandra’s motivation and goal should have been revealed back in season two. Varian should have been the sole focus of Rapunzel’s Return and gotten his big hero moment there along; with an actual ending to his conflict with Rapunzel that didn’t feel so lopsided and half assed. Then Rapunzel and Cassandra could have both been held accountable for their conflict in season three, instead of pretending like their shit smelled of roses the whole damn time. 

Lance Got a Whole Crowd Cheering Him On For Singing a Song, Varian Just Gets One Asshole Giving Him a Single Line of Congratulations

Did I mention this show has an odd anti-Varian bias? Cause it does. For whatever reasons his own creators hate him and that’s just utterly baffling to me. Like why create a main character that you don’t like? 

I look down on professional writers who treat characters they didn’t create poorly within their works, like with James Gunn and Scrappy Doo in the Scooby Doo Movie, Adric in the Doctor Who spin offs, or even the treatment of Doofus in Ducktales 2017. I don't care how much a character is liked or disliked by fandom, that shit is just tasteless and often unfunny. But at least I understand where they are coming from when they do it. 

But I’ll never understand what compels a writer to sabotage their own work; one that they are getting paid to write no less. Especially when said character is super popular with their fans. And Chris knows this. He knows the ratings plummeted without Varian in season two. He knows the merch didn’t sell because there wasn’t enough Varian products. That’s why he hyped up Varian’s return a whole week before Season Three’s airing with a massive online campaign, but he wasn’t smart enough to treat the character decently afterwards? 

I mean congrats, you convinced a just enough viewers to come back to season three to keep the show on the air I guess, but you left them all pissed off and have nothing to show for it to the higher ups a Disney. 

And Chris wonders why he wasn’t asked back to work on new Disney princesses shows that are currently in the works. 

That is Not Quirin. That is a Plank of Wood Pretending to be Quirin.

*Beep* *Boop*...*Dad Bot Is Proud. exe* 

Quirin is such a pale shadow of his season one self that he might as well not exist. I genuinely don't know why the writers released from the amber so early if they weren’t actually going to use him until the season finale. 

For the longest time I honestly thought that Rapunzel sucked out his soul with that decay incantation; what with that lyric about “setting the spirit free”. I genuinely thought that would be a later plot point, but nope, it’s just bad writing

Him just saying hi to son once and smiling blankly isn’t compelling and it’s isn’t fulfilling. It doesn’t actually resolve his arc. I mean he’s at least shown spending time with his son, but that’s not enough. We need to see him acknowledge past, we need to see him acknowledge his own flaws, and we need to see him being more attentive when Varian is in need. .  

Season one Quirin would be trying to stop Varian from going near the red rocks, a post season one Quirin should logically go after his son to make sure he’s alright, even if he’s know longer trying to actively stop Varian like he once did. 

There’s also that damn note and it’s secrets! 

You know what? That’s it. That’s the problem. The focus is all wrong in season three. Episodes get pulled into to many directions trying to juggle too many characters rather than dedicating the needed time to each individual arc. 

Season two’s finale should have been a three parter with Cass’s full motivation and goal laid bare before leaving.

Rapunzel’s Return should have been solely about Rapunzel and Varian’s conflict and resolving that arc fully 

Either Who’s Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf or Day of the Animals should have been a Lance episode about him and the girl’s, no Rapunzel. 

And this episode should have been about Quirin and Varian resolving their issues, with the Rapunzel and Cass stuff as the B plot not the stupid talent show 

There, all fixed. You don't even have to cut much, just rework the focus and leave Rapunzel and Cassandra out of conflicts they have no business being in. 

This Does Not Excuse Rapunzel’s Later Negligence Regarding Cassandra

Just because the red rocks was an accident doesn’t mean Cassandra should get a free pass for all the awful things she does later. Rapunzel uses this one interaction to excuse everything else Cassandra does in season three, as if she was just some poor lost baby and not a grown ass woman out to kill them. 

In fact Cass showing hesitancy here actually makes her later actions even worse. This means that she fully acknowledges that what she’s about to do is wrong, but goes ahead and does anyway, even gleefully so at times. Then she has to gall to act baffled when people see her as a threat? 0.o 

When fans say Cass isn’t redeemable or shouldn’t be redeemed, it’s not because he actions are so much worse than everybody else’s (even though they are), It’s because she doesn’t act like she wants to be redeemed half the time. The show doesn’t properly set up her ‘redemption’, instead it just lazily has Rapunzel yell at us how she’s ‘not lost’. 

Like below for instance. 

What Does Cass Need Saving From?

Cassandra is not in danger. She is the danger. 

She made the conscious decision to leave taking a world endangering artifact with her, and she later makes the conscious decision to come back and be an asshole for no adequately defined reason. 

She’s never shown to be in any physical danger from the rocks, the moonstone, or even Zhan Tiri herself. She apparently can take care of herself in the wild for over a year. She also has the capability of getting a job else where and just living out her life if she wanted to. Nothing is forcing her to listen to Zhan Tiri. 

Heck, even her hurt arm, the one thing Rapunzel is responsible for and could potentially be a continued threat to Cass’s well being, is just completely forgotten about.

And no, mental illness and past trauma are not excuses as well. In fact it’s rather insulting to both people with mental heath problems and abusive survivors to suggest otherwise. We don't need ‘saving from ourselves’ and we aren’t automatically dangers to anybody. Nor do we get free passes if we hurt someone. A jerk who happens to have a mental illness is just a jerk who so happens to have a mental illness; coloration is not causation. 

Conclusion 

It’s better than Rapunzel’s Return, but this episode was still a disappointment. A small part of me whishes this was a two parter because it has so much untapped potential, but I know it’s just be wasted in Chris’s hands. 

Anyways, I consider this to be the true mid-season finale of S3. Not only did the hiatus kick in after this episode, but it also clearly divides the season between the first half filler and the later Cass conflict. As such the next entry will be the mid-season recap. See ya, then. 

Ko-fi https://ko-fi.com/rachelbethhines

Redbubble https://www.redbubble.com/people/RBH129/shop?asc=u

[mcustorm]

In Defense of a Black Cyclops

In case my username didn’t make it clear, the single most anticipated visual project for me is the MCU’s interpretation of the X-Men, which hasn’t even been announced yet [officially]. And ladies and gents, I have found your Cyclops:

Good ol’ Alfred Enoch, who we all know from Harry Potter and How to Get Away With Murder. If you’re not familiar with HTGAWM, know that his character goes from the de facto leader of the ragtag (murderers) and most cherished protege of Viola Davis’ Professor X to taking more of a grimdark turn after his girlfriend’s death. Sound at least somewhat familiar?

Enoch also embodies the physicality of the character well, seeing as to how he’s “slim”, 6′4(!!), black, and notoriously lanky. Wait, one of these isn’t like the others.

In general I hate fancasting. Everyone generally picks from the same pool of about 30 actors (Peeps, neither Taron nor Daniel is a good Wolverine choice. Argue with your mother!), and most all of it is based on physicality, except when it absolutely should be (like say, choosing a ~5′10 dark-skinned black woman for Storm).

And I think there’s some malarkey afoot. I think there needs to be some serious consideration on part of fancasters and actual casting agents alike to rethink race when it comes to the [white] X-Men, especially since they’re the X-Men of all teams. So I’ll make the case for a black Cyclops: 

1. There is no quota on Black X-Men: There’s a bug in your ear that’s been whispering lies to you for years, it says something to the effect of “We need a black person on the team for diversity. How bout Storm?” And you’ve gotten complacent. Storm does not have to be the only black person on your X-Men roster.

2. The X-Men represent diversity: Iceman is gay, Cyclops and Prof. X are disabled (sorta), there are plenty of women, oh and everybody except Storm is white. Of the A-List X-Men, there is only *one* POC character. I’d argue that an MCU X-Men needs to champion diversity like never before.

3. The X-Men represent minority struggle while being mostly white: There’s a cognitive dissonance in the metaphor that has always been there, and for the most part, nobody cares. To appeal to the white readers of the 60′s, the X-Men were all initially white. That way, the message of the mutants could be related to the audience with a familiar face. We don’t need to approach the problem that way in 202?

4. Just because that’s the way it’s always been, doesn’t mean that’s the way it should be: The first line of defense. Sorry, that will never be a good justification for literally any idea. It’s time for some more critical thinking.

5. We don’t all want to be Bishop: So say you’re white and you have a kid who for his birthday having a costume party. You’ve bought some X-Men costumes and you want each kid to pick one. 9 white kids and one black kid show up to your house. As the kids deliberate who gets what costume, be it Cyke or Wolvie or whatever, you yell at everybody to “STOP!”, point to the one black kid and tell him “You’re gonna be Bishop. That’s it, end of story!” 

We don’t all want to be Bishop. The black child could have the best Cyclops interpretation within him, but you’ll never know if you don’t let him try. And that’s no different from the Black actors of Hollywood. There’s no reason why all of the black talent should *have* to compete for the role of Bishop or Storm, which I’ve discussed, while Joe Schmo can walk up and audition for literally anybody he wants.          

Jharrel Jerome is 23 and has an Emmy to his name. He needs to be in the MCU in some capacity, period. Stephan James is another. How bout Damson Idris. Ashton Sanders. But no, no, let’s fancast Dacre Montgomery or Ansel or Joe Keery again as [Human Torch, Wolverine, Iceman, Angel, I’ve literally seen it all.]

6. Nobody wants to see the B-team if it comes down to it. The next line of defense from your racebending naysayers after “That’s the way it’s always been!” is “Well, what about Psylocke, Bishop, Forge and Jubilee?” who are otherwise known as B-tier X-Men. The problem is, we’ve got limited time and limited spots.

So since the X-Men is all about wonky metaphors that make half sense, let me give you another: Let’s say somebody approaches you and says “Hey buddy, I got two free concert tickets for ya! You can either see Michael Jackson Sings the Blues, or you can go see Justin Timberlake. Free of charge!”

Now, are you used to MJ singing the blues? No! Do you have a problem with going to see Justin Timberlake? No, he’s fine on a Wednesday! He had that one little diddy we liked that one time. We’d love to see him eventually! But are you gonna say, “fuck that, I’m going to see MJ Sings the Blues” regardless? Hell yes, because that’s still Michael Jackson. He’s gonna give the same amazing performance he always does, it’s just gonna be the blues. And speaking of blues...

7. Black is not Blue, Brown is not Blue: Raise your hand if you’ve ever heard this one: “I don’t care if you’re black, white, purple, or green, I’m going to treat you all the same!” I will not say all have this intention, but some fancasters have noticed that the racial diversity is kinda low within the A-List X-Men, so they oh-so-generously give the following roles to a black or brown person: Iceman, Nightcrawler, Beast. 

Notice the pattern? It’s a microaggression, and it’s bullshit. What these fancasters are implicitly telling you is that, yes the actors will be black or brown, but when the action starts we can ignore that. They’ll be blue by then. In other words, you in fact do care if they’re purple or green. Nobody will cry foul if Dev Patel gets to play Nightcrawler (because that’s a common one I see), but should Anna Diop be Starfire or Michael B. Jordan be Human Torch, I bet there’d be backlash. Oh wait. If that’s you, please stop acting like you actually value diversity. You don’t want to see black or brown skin, period. Unless of course, it’s Storm (refer to point #1).

But wait, there’s more! When brown characters get whitewashed in these movies, it’s crickets! So eventually it’s revealed implicitly that proclaimers of point #4 only care about it one way.

8. Professor X should not be black if you’re not willing to change anyone else: The next line of defense is that some people say the professor should be black, if anybody HAS to be racebent. Something something MLK Jr., Civil Rights or some shit. Number one, I’m not reducing Professor X to being a magical negro for 9 white people (and Storm!) who for all intents and purposes get to have all the action. Number 2, the Professor X/MLK/Magneto/Malcolm X comparison is an oversimplifying disservice to ALL FOUR of those people. I hate that line whenever I see it, please watch a documentary my friends. 

9. The Candidates for Racebending: For me, the A-List X-Men are Cyclops, Jean Grey, Iceman, Angel, Beast, Wolverine, Storm, Gambit, Rogue, Colossus, Nightcrawler, and Kitty Pryde. Now, who should be exempt from the racebending? Storm, she’s our designated minority. Gambit, he’s Cajun and they’re white (generally speaking, that’s a fun bit of research). Wolverine, Colossus, and Nightcrawler, because their nationality/ethnicity was the whole point of the Giant-Size premise in the first place. Angel, because his character embodies a privileged white male. Beast and Iceman, I don’t care one way or another (Point #7).

That leaves Cyclops, Rogue, Jean Grey, and Kitty Pryde. Now Jean Grey is a redhead, and we all know that every time a redhead is racebent people sharpen their pitchforks (Mary Jane, Wally West, Iris West), so I will cede the ground on Jean if only so that my ginger friends can get their rep. Kitty Pryde is Jewish, but Jews of color exist. Rogue is from the South. And Cyclops is, well, just Cyclops. That makes those three characters good options for more diversity. But allow me to make the case for Cyclops, specifically.

10. It’s not just diversity for diversity’s sake: If you had to pick who the main character of the X-Men is supposed to be, most would say Cyclops. And so in a series that highlights racial discrimination in society, it makes sense that our main character be black. While changing Cyclops’ skin color should not change who he is as a character, it *should* recontextualize it. Now, as an eventual increasingly radical leader of the X-Men, Cyclops would evoke real life figures such as Colin Kaepernick or, shall I say, Martin Luther King, Jr.

Not that most X-Men fans and writers truly think about what it means to be black anyways. Storm’s minority status is almost always put through the lens of her being a mutant and not her being a black woman. In other words, you can’t argue that making a character black will fundamentally change his or her character when you haven’t even analyzed the racial context of the black character(s) you already have. Another concept that the MCU X-Men should tackle: intersectionality.

11. Representation matters: I have to say it: Chadwick Boseman’s Black Panther hit different. And now he is tragically gone. At the end of the day, the MCU moving forward is down its most prominent black male superhero. Which has implications beyond just the movies themselves.

The women are in good hands. Shuri, Okoye, and Nakia are badasses in Wakanda, Valkyrie is ruling Asgard, Storm is almost assuredly on the way, RiRi Williams has already been cast, and Monica Rambeau is here and she’s not even at her most glorious yet. That doesn’t even include variable Δ, or the number of characters who can and will be racebent. And I’ll note again that to me, Gamora doesn’t count, because she’s green (#7 really pisses me off because it’s so blatant. I hate it). Of course from a behind the camera perspective we love black women getting work.

The men are a completely different story. Imma just go out and say it, I can’t stand Falcon and War Machine [in the MCU] because they’re not characters, they’re just two of a slew of MCU minority sidekicks who have essentially been at the beck and call of Captain America and Iron Man, respectively. You cannot tell Falcon’s story without mentioning Cap. The reverse is not true. There’s a whole essay that could be and have been written on “Minorities in the MCU, pre-Black Panther”. Remember, there’s a reason BP made so much noise in the first place.

So excluding those two we have, let’s see, M’Baku, Blade, and Fury who aren’t exactly the most superheroic superheroes, Eli Bradley is proooobably coming, I doubt Miles Morales is coming (because he’s just Peter Parker in the MCU), Luke Cage(?) Bishop(??), Sunspot(???), Blue Marvel(????). Not only are they not A-List, I would not put money on any of them being in the MCU any time soon.

Cyclops is thee Captain America of the X-Men. He’s the frontman. He’s the poster boy. He’s the “boy scout”, which in other words means he’s the hero, if there has to be one. It would mean a lot right now, and specifically *right now*, if he were to be black. The MCU needs it. It NEEDS it.

12. The X-Men is the Summers Story: I’ll even make the case that if just one character needs to racebent, then it should be Cyclops, because that of course implies that other related characters need to be black because half of the X-Men universe is in fact a part of the Summers family. 

So now Cable is black. Corsair is black. Havok is black. And one of the most central stories in the X-Men mythos, the Summers family drama, is now a black family drama set in space or the future or where the fuck ever. The concept is boundary pushing. When white families have drama in the media, it gets to be Game of Thrones or Star Wars, while when black families have drama in the media, it has to be black people arguing in a kitchen or living room about their various earthly traumas (I’m @’ing you, Mr. Perry). I mean, that’s all fine and good often times, but I want my black family drama in space, dammit.

And again, this is the X-Men, the series that’s all about *minorities* and their struggle, so again, why not?

Oh, and I’ll even throw out a Havok fancast for you: How bout Jharrel Jerome?

[alldayangst]

gold rush (Tom Holland)

All of my fics are LGBT and PoC friendly. Inspired by gold rush by Taylor Swift. Everybody wants Tom, but you don’t like a gold rush. WC: 2.7K words. 

“Y/N, I just wanted to say again, thank you for coming in today and doing this for us.” Tom’s dad, Dominic, said as he displaced papers across desks, earl grey swaying like an angry lake in his mug. Approaching footsteps hinted that the star of the show was soon to be hold. In other words, Tom was running behind.

The door creaked and light from the corridor crept through like Sun peeping through curtains of the Night. It refusing to shut after Tom budged and pushed was maybe divine punishment for him being so late, and maybe provided the bit of laughter you needed after rolling out of bed at 6am for this, for him. When the door eventually did close, Tom turned around and saw you in all your glory; much taller than he remembered, more assured than he’d imagined, and more gorgeous than drowned out and half forgotten memories of you could ever fabricate.

You and Tom ran in the same social circles, but hadn’t seen each other since Tom’s career imploded when you were both nineteen. As much as Tom felt he owed his heart and soul to the UK, he maintained an almost permanent fixture on the States. It started to feel like his trips back to England were in fact actual holiday. At one point, you were in love with Tom, but meeting became a constant battle of ‘here, not there’ and your heart grew tired of the duck and goose chase. The gravity of the situation was too much for you, whom hadn’t even tasted their twenties yet. 

“Y/N!” Tom launched at you and held you in tight embrace. You let go of the hug, but he didn’t. And his dad watched on in momentary awe as you wrapped your arms around Tom once again, who breathed in every part of you with unwavering adoration.

“Tom!” You rubbed along his back as he hummed. “When I was told we were gonna have a ghost writer, I had no idea it was gonna be you.”

Tom and his dad (being an author) were collaborating on a book, a million dollar idea that’d been years in the making. Tom had stalled it, his dad told you out of simple insecurity. Now that the world was a stage, he was worried people would criticise his dyslexia with every line he wrote, that every stroke of his pen would reveal him as a rare type of monster that lacked intellect, he pondered that he wasn’t insightful enough in some way. His dad may have written a book about Tom outfaming him, but Tom felt like he’d always live in Dom’s shadow in this respect. Fresh from Oxford with an English Bachelor’s degree, Dom employed you to get grease on the gears to commence writing. Tom had always come out of his shell when you were around.

Your writing session lasted from 8 til noon, when Tom had promo with LadBible or Entertainment Weekly or whoever had bid the highest from his presence that day.

The door swung open and three men in all black and mics saddled around their waists called for and led Tom out of the room.

“Tom, session’s over. We need to get you to your BBC promo in 30 and we’re already running behind schedule.’ One cloaked Tom in a jacket you were sure was more expensive than your own home and another whispered something into a walkie talkie: “Holland is on the move. Check the back entrance is clear.” With that, Tom rose to his feet and left completely opposite of the way you came in. Without a word, no goodbye.

You and Dom left the building together around ten minutes later, where ten men with large cameras stood, lenses focused on you, glaring at you, not sure what to make of you. One of the men screams “Hey! You dating Tom Holland” and after that all you hear is clicks and all you see is bright flashing lights and Dom clenches your hand and leads you to your taxi cab.

The next time you see Tom is sooner than expected. The Hollands were hosting a last minute dinner party and you found yourself sitting opposite Tom, feeling his hard, hot and heavy gaze on you. The tension in the room was so thick not even a chainsaw cut through.

“Next topic,” You picked up a card from the deck and read it aloud. “Politics!” You said devilishly as you sip on what was left of the white wine in your cup, and now that your thought process is blurred; Tom’s longing gaze puts you at dismay.

“Fuck!” Harry exploded, and you hear their mother hiss. “Fuck I hate politics, there’s no making it out alive!” he remarked as he drummed on the table cloth, drunken excitement brewing a new energy in the room.

You go on like this for hours until dinner party is dinner party no more. And while Dom, Nikki and all of Tom’s siblings have chosen to exit stage left, it’s 1am and you and Tom have yet to leave the scene.

Tom sets down your deck of debate cards in favour of a genuine moment.

“What are you doing these days, Y/N?” Tom’s not looking at you, he’s looking at your knee as he rubs circles on it. You want to look down there too, see what he finds so intriguing; but you decide against it in fear you might spontaneously combust. You don’t know if this moment’s supposed to be intimate or innocent and you’re not sure if you want to find out.

So you put up a wall.

“I should be asking you the same thing, Holland.” You say sarcastically. “What have you been doing these days? I haven’t seen you around.” Your eyebrows scrunched up together but you’ve got a big, idiot grin on your face that’s more than telling. Tom giggles at your facetiousness.

Tom scratches his head in mock thought. He never clocks out, always putting on a show. “I don’t know - uh.” You’re laughing before Tom has even told the punchline, ‘cause I guess anything’s funny when it’s said by the one you love.”I’m kind of -” He snatches an old Spiderman comic off the floor. “I’m kinda doing this acting thing at the moment. Playing, y’know, this guy.”

“Well I wish you better luck in the future.” Tom has stopped rubbing circles but instead places his two hands on your knees as you rock back in laughter.

“I’m serious, Y/N. What do you do now?”

“Um.” You suddenly forgot your entire career as Tom, with no shade of subtlety, stares right into your soul. “I got my degree. I write like little stories, y’know? Have you ever heard of folklore?”

Tom shook his head.

“They’re like these little, old beautiful myths. And I write them for a living. And if I’m lucky, they get published in The Times. If I’m even luckier, I get to work with my old best friend - ” You feel your world stop temporarily as you call Tom your ‘best friend’ and you pause for all of 0.3 seconds to register Tom’s reaction but his face doesn’t flinch. “-Writing a book with him and his dad.” And that makes Tom smile. So he doesn’t have to tell you he missed you, you just know.

‘Undivided appearance’ and ‘undivided attention’ don’t necessarily mean the same thing in Hollywood as they do in real life, and you learn that the hard way in your writing session.

Tom may have been sat right next to you, but he was miles away. He was doing press with Cosmo, who hadn’t stopped tagging him with blue hearts on his Instagram, Twitter and Snapchat stories, causing his phone to go off every two seconds. You looked at the phone and then at him who then got the hint and put it on silent. Then there was a knock on the door. Tom rushed to open it, expecting that Dom had sent down a food delivery to egg you on finishing this chapter. You rehashed his childhood like a million times - in fact, you were part of it - so when it came to writing the parts that hurt, where you took a more supporting role in his life, you needed his help. The fact is, the knock at the door had come from one of Tom’s men (Tom liked to call him Man In Black no. 3) who hadn’t said as much as a ‘hi’ before he made his announcement. “Tom, you’re on the line with Cosmo in 10.” The man stepped back and pulled out his walkie talkie, “Holland knows he’s on the line with Cosmo at 10.” And then continued to pace around the hallway.

Cosmo called as he said they would and you almost felt for. second like tom might enjoy an entertainment magazine’s company more than yours. The interviewer made glaring comments and passive flirts at Tom who just blushed and chuckled and sipped his water like the woman on the phone calling him ‘hot’ was just too much to handle. At one point, she says: “What must it be like to grow up that beautiful, Tom? With your hair falling into place like dominoes.” You’re not expecting it when Tom tilts the phone so you’re in view. “Well I’m with the most beautiful being on Earth right now so..” Tom looks at you as if to ask ‘is this okay?” and you know it’s too late for these kind of questions, because that moment is headline fodder, so you smile not to make him feel bad for opening Pandora’s box. But Tom is merciless and likes to rub salt in the wound. “This is Y/N! Y/N’s helping me write the book with my Dad! We go way back.” He covers his mouth as soon as he says it. “Shit! They’re not supposed to know about the book yet.”

This is the moment, you think, where you believe when they say your first love is the one you never let go.

And you can’t think of anything purer than the love you have for him.

Tom thinks being on land is boring. He likes being strung from chords 30 feet in the air, and drowning in despair through scenes of emotional turmoil. You want to tell him you’re an arrow from Cupid’s bow about to reach him, but you couldn’t recover from the splinters if Tom shut you down. After all, Tom was a gold rush. A treasure that everyone had discovered but nobody owned. How precious is a jewel that anybody could take home with them?

Tom had invited you to a visit to Brighton with him, a city near the coast, for some inspiration on writing his section of the book. 

You accepted. And because you did, you found yourself at the beginning of the end, on Tom’s boat in Brighton. “We don’t have to talk about the book right now.” Tom throws a stack of blue tinted paper on the floor. His dyslexia meant that spelling and reading was so much easier when done on blue pages, and you could only guess that was the reason the body of water around you brought him so much peace. So when you saw that something might compromise your best boy’s happiness, you point it out. To give Tom a little bit of time to exit before things got ugly.

“Tom, I see someone in the bushes.”

“Yeah. It’s a pap.” Tom mumbled nonchalantly. 

“They’re here to get pictures of me,” He turned to face you. “and you.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, the fans ship us. Think we’d be a good couple after that Cosmo stunt. We would have been a good couple when we were like, 18.” He laughs.

“Huh, yeah.” You look down.

“The best one around.” And you can’t tell if he’s serious.

You rip off one of his blue sheets. “I’m coming. I got hit with inspo.” And you trail to a different section of the boat. A very obvious click of the camera from a shrub nearby coaxes your pen to write without a second thought, How is he so accustomed to this? Fake private moments, protected by sheer glass curtains?

You scrunched your paper, well his paper, into a ball. 

Your mind had turned his life into folklore. You weren’t sure if that was crossing a line, so you just put the ball into your bag and hide it until he hits you with the spark again.

“Let me see it.” Tom says.

“No.”

“You ran off to write it and won’t let me see it?” 

You held your bag at your hip in defence. “No, Tom. Drop it.” 

Tom’s face drops a little bit, but then he reaches into his own bag and reveals a deck of your debate cards. “I know what will cheer you up, good ol’ Y/N.” He sets a card on the wooden table between you two. 

“Do you believe in a higher power?”

You toyed with the pendant around your neck which revealed your faith. “Do you?”

“I don’t. But I believe in soulmates.”

You look to the left to really ponder on what Tom is saying, and a paparazzis captures another photo of you in the corner of your eye.

“And you don’t think there’s a higher power that manufactures our souls to make our soulmates?”

Tom feigns a scowl. “That’s ridiculous.”

You scoffed. “How very contrarian of you.”

“What the fuck does that mean.”

“It means you contradict yourself, Thomas.” You laugh as he holds his chest in fake hurt.

“Are you implying I’m anything less than perfect?”

“Never.”

Never. Because you didn’t believe that to be true. 

“Good. Cause you’d have to be punished.” Tom picks you up and throws you in the water below before jumping in with you.

On your way home you stop at the yours and Tom’s writing booth, scavenging through your bag to drop off Tom’s notepad, some scrunched up blue and white papers you and Tom thought could still help you write his book. You’d made an addition to your love-hazed scribblings about Tom and reckon you’d die if he found it. You managed to throw the other in the water, excusing yourself with “It’s utterly awful.”, to which you and Tom agreed you wouldn’t throw any more paper in the ocean cause the poor fish already had it hard enough.

You and Tom had a session the next day. Tom was excited for the day, and you could tell because he’d given his phone to one of his big babysitters for the time he had you.

“I think that’s all of yours.” You and Tom made a business out of unscrunching your paper balls to see if they had any useful ideas. You were certain you reached the end of Tom’s. All of his notes had ‘T.H’ written on the back in big and were scribed on blue paper. When it came to your little ‘secret admirer’ notes you weren’t worried - you had an English degree and were quick to think on your feet and was ready to make something up when it came to opening it. 

“No, this one’s mine.” He’s confident, so you let him have it. He goes to pick up your tea and then realises it’s nowhere near warm, and was the one you made for yourself when you crept in yesterday evening. Tom has a smile on his face, and then he doesn’t. Before he goes to read it aloud, his eyes tell you he’s reading it again and again and again. “At dinner parties, I’ll call you out on your contrarian shit, and the coastal towns we wondered round will never see a love as pure as it.”

The look on Tom’s face gives you the splinters. He tries to look at you but you know he can’t. You don’t blame him. You can’t look at him either. “I really thought this was a good friendship.”

You hum and nod your head in agreement, pull your lips into a thin straight line as streaks of tears abandon your eyes. This was worse than Tom rubbing salt in your wounds. He’s rubbing dirt in your painful fucking gashes and you are reminded of why this didn’t work before, why it will never be.

And you wouldn’t dare to dream about him anymore.

Masterlist

Upcoming Works

[eclectickss]

Keep My Heart Ticking (blurb)

Pairing: Natasha Romanov x (OC) Reader

Warnings: angst, cursing, reader wants to be un-alive

Word Count: 0.8k?

Summary: Natasha reaches a breaking point with you, and you finally realize just how fucked up you are.

A/N: PLEASE READ! Hi friends! This is a blurb that I had to get off my chest a few weeks ago, hoping that I could turn it into a multi-chapter or extended shot. I have about 1.7k words more written for various parts in the story, but seeing as i'm at a writer's block for this one, I feel as if I should share my favorite part and see if anybody would be interested in the full thing (cause i'm a whore for validation and encouragement) so PLEASE if ya want more, tell me! Also I gave reader a name because using Y/N is not my favorite thing in the world. Your name is Raimy Winters. :)

-

-

-

Your least favorite redhead walked purposefully into the room, and you verbally groaned at the idea of another lecture. She sat down on one of the benches surrounding the cage enclosure, but you acted like she was invisible. Silence sat among the two of you for an uncomfortably long time, as if all of your arguing and bickering with each other had placed a brick wall down the center of the world. Not appreciating her obscure presence, you flipped over to lay on your other side, now finally meeting her harsh eyes.

The two of you stared down the other, but you weren't giving up the game. She's the one who decided to pay you a visit, so she's going to be the one to address it. You paid attention to her nature, catching how there were dark circles under her eyes and the shake in her left leg. Her glare showed no mercy, and her green gaze treated you like a dog who had tangled its leash around her feet one too many times.

This side of Natasha was new to you.... vulnerable. You didn't know how to feel. You were so used to the assassin being a headstrong, emotionless rule-following drone, that you never could have imagined another side to the redhead. Finally, though, she spoke, but the breath lodged in your chest couldn't escape yet.

"Cut the shit, Ms. Winters." Her voice cracked slightly, but with a darker tone that you weren't used to. You couldn't find any information to process though, so you stayed quiet. "I get it, that you wished I had let you die. I know what begging for death is like. More than you." You already knew a little about her past, so this information didn't surprise you at all. "But your alive, now. So stop acting like a child and get the fuck over it."

Your eyes widened at her new tone and you silently gasped, sitting up.

"It's hard to get over it, Nat, when you don't have anything else to live for. You took away the people I was doing that for." You ground your teeth.

"God, Raimy, stop acting like life is worthless!" She stood up, voice rising and face reddening. "I know I never loved myself that much, but I never wished my heart to stop beating all because it didn't mean shit!"

"Well, my life does mean shit, Natasha!" You stood up too, speeding over to the glass that she was standing in front of. "I CAN'T HELP ANYONE ANYMORE, WIDOW. I CAN KILL AT CONTACT AND I CAN'T CONTROL IT." You spat. "Everyone I love is gone, all because you chose my life over theirs. I MEAN NOTHING, NATASHA. ALL I WANT IN THIS FUCKED UP WORLD IS TO DIE, AND THAT SEEMS TO BE THE ONE GOD DAMN THING I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DO."

"God, We want to help you, Raimy! Let us do that!"

"NO! It puts innocent people in danger, so kill me off while you can."

"RAIMY!" She heaved. "Stop treating me like I'm a bad person for saving your life! That's more fucked up than anything else, Ms. Winters. I did what was best, and it's EXHAUSTING that you won't even TRY to understand the truth in that!"

"The fact that you saved one life over three tells me that it wasn't the best you could've done." You spat. You turned around to lay back down on your bed but whirled around when you heard the cage opening and footsteps headed in your direction.

NO, RAIMY, YOU NEED TO LISTEN TO THE GOD DAMN TRUTH. EVERYONE IS AFRAID TO TELL YOU BECAUSE THEY DON'T WANT TO DIE, BUT HERE THE FUCK I AM, RISKING MY LIFE ALL BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW HOW TO GROW THE FUCK UP." Natasha yelled, and you couldn't move. "You don't get to complain to us about who lives and dies. To me about who lives and dies. Do you know why I saved your life? Because I was taking orders. And I don't take orders if I don't think they're the right ones. I was told to save you, because if you died, you would have killed so many more people, Raimy."

You glared at her with tears in your eyes, being told something that nobody else had bothered to yet. Your façade asked so many questions, but your mouth couldn't move. Your eyes begged her to explain.

"Bruce was tracking your radioactivity. You were about to fucking explode, Ms. Winters. Because that's what your body does when you have radioactive powers and your heart runs out of time. You're a bomb, Raimy, I'm just the one who made you tick a little bit longer." She spat angrily and stormed out of the cell, leaving you trapped and alone in the cage.

-

-

-

Hey, Dr. Karen.

I just had a fight with Nat. Again.

But this one was different... she told me that the only reason that she saved my life that day was because it was the only life she could save. Supposedly I'm a bomb. She said I was going to kill a lot more people if I died.

I don't know what I'm supposed to think, Dr. K.

Natasha was pissed off that I didn't care too much before she had said that. She looked tired and scared.

I don't want to scare her though. And I hope I'm not the reason she looked exhausted.

Who am I kidding. I probably am. I've been really harsh with her, Dr. K. And now that I know the truth, I feel... awful.

She had said that there were moments where she had wanted to die too... and when she hadn't loved herself much. She has a greater appreciation for life than I do, though. She's seen more, faced more... feared more.

I mean, my life was thrilling as a detective. Dangerous... but she's faced, aliens and super soldiers. So what the fuck do I know?

...

This journal is probably really thrilling for you to read.

-Raimy

-

-

-

Thoughts and comments are GREATLY appreciated!!

[deepdonutkid]

I have reached my next milestone. Yes, 300 follower and I’m beyond grateful! Thanks to all the people who keep supporting me and who enjoy my content and who talk with me and tag me on stuff. Big hugs and cuddles for you!

Just 10 years ago, I started writing and I had a rough start back then and I made serval mistakes. And thanks to some wise and older readers, I don’t make those mistakes anymore. When I started writing on a German page, it was so common to support young writers by giving them advice and I loved it, because I needed it. Really, my writing sucked back then.

Now I’m here on tumblr and I noticed it’s not so common to give advice or constructive critique to other writers and I talked to some people and they struggle, because they don’t know how to improve their writing… like I did years ago. This makes me very sad, because I see potential in those people.

And I’m a beta reader for about 6 years now and I have about six people I help with their stories, so I would be tempted to say, I know about a little about writing and I might be able to help some of you, who think they need advice and help.

So, I’m making a contest, not a challenge. I had so much fun participating in those years ago, even if I didn’t win.

A contest, or this contest, is going to have winner and the winner gets a free wish, like a fanart or a fanfic or head canon or whatever the person wants. And if you are the winner and you don’t have a wish, that’s okay for me as well.

This contest is not for people, who are already super good at writing, but I won’t stop you from participating. There won’t be a rule like: “You need this much followers or you shouldn’t have written more than 3 stories” Nah, that’s not my type. So, anybody, who wants, can participate, but make sure you want this, because you are going to get a full review and a voting.  If you don’t like critics, maybe you shouldn’t participate. This is mostly for people, who want to get advice and who want to improve themselves.

Therefore, there won’t be a theme other than… Peaky Blinders, because I want everybody to write, what they can do the best, whether if it’s fluff or angst or smut, I don’t care, I focus on other stuff and I read pretty much everything.

You can write with a reader, with an oc, with canon x canon characters, without any romance platonic or whatever. It just has to be fictional, so no meta posts and involves at least one character from the canon.

To participate, please write me an ask or dm me, I don’t care and you can just say you’re participate and if you want to, you can tell me your idea. I will be available for talking about your fic the whole month.  

The contest will start on 16.06.2021, you can apply until then. You have one week to contact me and tell me you want to participate. NOBODY HAS TO PARICIPATE!

Then you’ll have one month to write your idea. Deadline is the 23.07.2021.

After the deadline is over, I will reveal my voting. (Maybe I get another juror too)

And because I want to avoid being called biased, I will reveal the voting chart under the cut.

Have fun writing!

X from total 10 points

6 points on speech

3 points on grammar (word repetition, correct grammar, spelling and punctuation)

3 points on style (beginning of sentences, speaking pattern, choice of words)

4 points on content

2 points on atmosphere (feelings, fitting the chosen topic, the general vibe)

2 points on storytelling (is there a good structure, with introduction, middle and ending, does the ending fit the story, are the characters in character)

2 possible extra points for everything that doesn’t fit in the categories above (probably won’t be used)

I will give you a full review, so to say, and these are just points for orientation, and don’t take any of this personal. This is not against you, I want to help you.

tagging: @retromafia​ @haileyybird​ @justalonelyslytherin​ @bonniesgoldengirl​ @casualwritersblog​ @oddshelbyout​ @annoyingarcadeperfection​ @stxdyblr-2k @peakywitch​ @amysteryspot​ @peakyblindersxx​ @sympathyfortheblinderdevil​ @rachelsteapot​ @thomashelbyswhore​ @ysmmsy​

[retroknightx]

hypmic headcanons

since nobody on my instagram appreciates me, i’m going to put them here, and it’ll be like a master post i can add onto that way anyway (which is convenient for me, because i keep adding on… yeah, it’s bad lmao. my notes document can only take so much) all of it will be under the line so you guys don’t just have a big ass post clogging your feed! to whoever my 4 followers are

starting with fling posse…

---

Ramuda Amemura

He’s trans.

He has a superiority complex to hide his inferiority complex.

He also likely has a little bot of a god complex… Just a tiny bit… Not to the point it’d endanger his life, but to the point he can never admit he’s wrong (I suppose this can also count as the superiority complex).

He also has a little bit of a schoolboy crush on Dice… that has lasted far longer than he’d ever like to admit – not that he’d ever admit it in the first place – and he gets jealous over Dice.

He started his whole thing with girls, whatever it is, as a power trip, which also explains why he likes to cause so much chaos.

Since he used to smoke, he started candy as a way to stop smoking and it slowly replaced his smoking habit (as I have yet to see him smoke otherwise, but keep in mind I’m not far into the manga and mostly I’m going off the ARB story).

---

Gentaro Yumeno

All writers are perfectionists (I’d know as one).

He’s probably very particular about the details and doesn’t like doing things without a plan.

He’s the lyric write for Fling Posse’s raps and does not enjoy making up lyrics on the spot; however he can if he must – This is also why he carries the book everywhere.

I honest to god don’t feel like he’s of this world and whatever his actual form is (irony in his rap name?), it scared Ramuda enough to create Fling Posse, so here they are.

---

now for the dice ones… it’s gonna be long!

---

Dice Arisugawa

He is, unfortunately, very oblivious to romantic approaches – especially from close friends such as his division members, for he’s been with them for so long that he can never imagine them falling in love with him.

He has abandonment issues/a fear of abandonment because his mother left him.

Speaking of his mother, Dice likely knows how to do “noble” things because he was raised by a politician; i.e. how to play piano and stuff like that.

Adding on top of that, I feel like Dice has an accumulation of many different skills from being all over the place – He learned how to do card tricks by watching others, and he probably learned bird calls from spending time with Rio.

He undoubtedly has ADHD (as a person with ADHD myself, you cannot tell me I am wrong)!

He’s well aware that’s he a leech, but he can’t stop himself because the addiction is stronger and he feels terrible about it; it’s why he often begs instead of anything else that would fit his character more.

He’s a very talkative person and often rambles to get his thoughts organized.

He doesn’t like being put into awkward situations or forced into silence because he is used the buzz of a casino and a busy city.

Relating to the ADHD canon, Dice puts his life on line not only for the thrill of it, but to keep his mind off of thoughts, and it’s also why he gambles; so he can focus on one thing.

He is numb to change because he’s a gambler.

He is very good at adapting to a new environment.

He doesn’t like being looked down up and that’s why he started gambling; to prove that he’s worth something.

He uses humor to cope if he can’t get his mind off of things with the thrill of gambling.

---

Extras (Fling Posse all together)

Dice has weird limbs, so clothing fits him weird, and Ramuda started making clothes for them because of that.

Ramuda chased after Dice after he stole his signature parka and the Fling Posse star was embroidered on later by Ramuda after the formation of Fling Posse.

Ramuda likely pulls whatever strings he has access to to make life easier for his division members (not that it stops them from getting into trouble, that is).

Gentaro spends a lot of time away when writing and likely forgets he’s even alive during those periods, so his division members make sure he’s still taking care of himself when he gets like that.

They all piss each other off, but in a platonic love kind of way.

---

moving onto matenrou! my favorite division <3

---

Jakurai Jingui

Oh, my poor man’s so tired. He just needs a long break and a spa day; speaking of this, he likely doesn’t ask for help often – it’s the messiah complex he undoubtedly has.

His hair is too long for him to be taking care of it himself, and it definitely looks in fantastic condition, so he definitely takes good care of it – I just don’t think he takes care of it himself; I think he enlists the help of his division members (as I headcanon that Matenrou is in a poly relationship).

Jakurai’s matureness can sometimes get in the way of other things, such as emotional moments, and he can come off as cold or distant when he doesn’t mean to come off that way.

Unlike the other divisions, Jakurai wanted to really separate from his past, and that’s why he named his division Matenrou instead of reusing something from the past. He also probably doesn’t like talking about the past.

His hair is naturally silver, but the lighter shades that are nearly white underneath was caused by stress.

He gets cold quickly, which is why he always keeps the lab coat on, and it’s also why he wears a turtleneck.

Jakurai does live in the same apartment as Doppo and Hifumi, but he’s always so busy that he often can’t get there, so he ends up sleeping at the hospital; he also has a separate apartment of his own that’s closer to the hospital if he has free time, but he’s not off work/off work but still on call.

---

Doppo Kannonzaka

Man, the first thing I thought when I saw him was that he has a choking kink. Enough said. He also likely has a praise kink.

If he didn’t have social anxiety and wasn’t so busy, he’d also probably be going over to Rio’s camp a lot. I think it’s because he’s so overworked that he doesn’t care about what’s in the food; as long as he gets it.

He’s probably passed out from exhaustion more than once and just got used to it.

Despite all his problems, he definitely wants to be known and he wants his name out there; he wants to be just like the other two and he definitely looks up to them already, but he aspires to be them.

He is so thankful for his divison members and he’s glad that they accepted him.

---

Hifumi Izanami

Hifumi is a classic case of “fake it till you make it”; I really don’t know how he became one of the most popular hosts in Shinjuku, but it’s definitely about the fake confidence and the jacket is a comfort object for him that allows him to have that confidence.

He cooks all the time for his division members and he uses the catches from fish all the time, too. He even brings the lunches to their works for them.

---

Extras

Since Hifumi’s always out so late, the others make sure he has everything he needs for whenever he wakes up and sometimes they wait for him.

They’re all in a poly relationship and I refuse to believe anything else; I mean, have you seen those “my room” dialouge in ARB? Fruity.

They probably all love to cuddle whenever they get the chance because they can’t do it often.

They definitely set up one day of the month for all of them to just be together.

---

buster bros time!

---

Ichiro Yamada

This may just be the Ichiro simp in me, but I think he has a very nice tummy that’d be nice to lay on; like a soft one if that makes any sense to anybody other than me.

He’s a very friendly person and if you’re close friends with him, he’s definitely loyal; he’d be willing to drop anything to help you kind of loyal, like he is to his brothers – all that, except the willing to die part.

I think he gets flustered easily and doesn’t know how to respond to compliments. That’s also probably the Ichiro simp in me.

Although he has to stop his brothers from ripping out each other’s throats all the time, he’s very proud of them and of their achievements, no matter what they are. He’s willing to praise them even for the tiniest things to make up for his absence in their lives.

He probably has a terrible sleeping schedule, but he could probably operate on pretty much anything. Two hours of sleep? That’s not an issue for him; he’s used to it.

He’s likely a cheapskate when it comes to himself, but when it comes to his brothers, he spares no expense if he can.

---

Saburo Yamada

He has a superiority complex. I mean, just look at how he acts with Jiro – that’s enough proof right there.

He got into hacking and all of that computer stuff because it was interesting to him; he’s probably pursuing a career in it, considering just how good he is at it. I feel like he’d make a good white hat hacker that tests your website security, like Alma in Va-11 Hall-A.

Call him a library, because he holds grudges for years.

I think he just likes picking arguments because he think it’s funny and there’s nothing better to do when you’re stuck with your brothers (as somebody with a sibling myself, I can attest to that).

---

Jiro Yamada

Anger issues. Yep, that’s it. That’s the headcanon.

Man probably goes dumpster diving to see what kind of treasures he can find; his room is probably full of that kind of junk.

He probably has greasy hair. It doesn’t matter how much he cleans it, it’s just greasy (as somebody with the same issue, go clean your pillows Jiro).

---

Extras

Ichiro has to hold Jiro back from just punching Saburo all the time.

God, somebody save Ichiro from his siblings; with how much they bicker, he probably has taken so much ibuprofen to stop headaches in his life that he should be considered dead from an overdose.

Despite being assholes to each other, they all help each other out – Saburo helps Jiro with his work, Jiro helps Saburo with whatever he can’t do, and Ichiro takes care of the rest. It’s the only thing keeping their bond together.

---

mad trigger crew, my beloved.

---

Rio Mason Busujima

Rio’s very stoic and that often doesn’t break, so it’s very rare to see a smile on his face. He has different smiles for different things too – there’s the business one; one so he doesn’t look as intimidating, and the actual genuine smile that’s very rare to see, but it happens when somebody appreciates his food.

Rio’s not good at understanding emotions and it takes him awhile to process emotions; he goes quiet in these moments and it can be confusing for those who don’t know him, but once he’s thought everything out, he’s very smart about responding.

He’ll never fully adjust to a life outside of the navy and military.

Opposite to Dice, he finds the buzz of a city to be too distracting for his thoughts and he enjoys his solitude, but he doesn’t mind company at all.

Due to how his unit was broken up, he refuses to abide by H law and keeps his gun on him. Even Rio can be spiteful. However, he mostly uses it for hunting, which is why he’s so far out in the forest.

He definitely has a lot of scars and that’s why he often wears his fatigues; he doesn’t wana come off as off-putting. His cards without the jacket did him so dirty. Of course he’d have scars from fighting in World War 3.

He can come up with strategies on the spot and is a very quick-thinker when it comes to combat.

Despite how ruthless he is when it comes to rap battles and being an ex-navy, he’s actually a very gentle soul.

I feel like he’s asexual, but homoromantic.

---

Samatoki Aohitsugi

He only uses the bad guy persona as a way to be left alone, but he’s actually a very kind person.

Despite being a yakuza, he actually abides to the H law and it’s probably only because of Nemu (however, this is only based off of the anime, so I can’t say for certain, but I haven’t seen anything in the manga disproving otherwise yet).

I just feel like he eats a lot throughout the day. I can’t explain this one, but he has the vibes.

He also knows how to cook quite well himself, and he does it for his division members sometimes.

---

Jyuto Iruma

He’s very cocky because he knows he can get away with things; I mean, he’s the authorties, why wouldn’t he get cocky about what he can do? However, it’s somewhat annoying to Samatoki.

If he wasn’t a gay bastard, Samtoki and Rio probably would’ve been arrested long ago. Thankfully for them, he is a gay bastard.

He likes looking good no matter what; it helps his confidence, so he dresses up to go out anywhere.

His glasses are probably just reading glasses.

He likes spending money on expensive things.

---

Extras

Samatoki and Jyuto are in a relationship. They’re so fruity that I’m sure I don’t have to explain this one.

Samatoki doesn’t approve of Rio dating Dice at all and it’s only because of Jyuto that Dice is still alive.

Rio is pretty much their marriage counselor; he has to constantly deal with them bickering, so of course he is. He’s pretty much the adopted child to save their marriage.

---

Ships

Riodice

Samajyu

Poly Matenrou

---

i will likely make a separate post for the ship headcanons because this will be much longer, but i think this covers all of them anyway, so here you go. enjoy.