#I get pestered into giving up watching what I've been. except if I do that I get yelled at. so I have to ask.

[david-watts]

got chased away from the living room, again, because I asked if I could put something else on instead of listening to d*tton whinging about his nuclear power 'plan', and thus got told 'it's only for a few minutes' 'there's multiple topics in this programme' 'I we want to watch what's on next [in nearly half an hour] anyway' which I will continue on about in the tags inevitably but my m*ther accidentally did revenge for me by dousing her dessert in cream that expired a fortnight ago (which I suspect was kept because my grandmother doesn't have any rhyme or reason to what she keeps in the fridge, especially with dairy products. expiry dates are up for interpretation!)

[emphasisonthehomo]

Twitch Streamer Tommy, because apparently I still have thoughts on him being one of those dudes who's into Flight Simulator.

Buck mostly starts out watching the streams because Christopher watches streams. Buck and Eddie have had discussions with Chris about how much info he should be sharing with strangers on the internet, it was a whole thing. Chris can watch them without being monitored, neither of them are helicopter parents, but Buck does in general keep tabs on them. Because he's constantly reading shit about someone w/ fame on the internet taking advantage of it.

There's a variety to the ones that Chris watches, but all of of them are for games that he already plays. Except one. Some guy called REMOVEB4FLIGHT and it's straight up just Flight Simulator content. There's not a ton of consistency to when the guy streams, it's all over the place schedule wise. Maybe once or twice a month, and he's clearly not a Professional Streamer™ so much as a guy with a hobby. His set up is crazy though.

And sometimes Christopher watches them when Buck is in eyesight, and yeah. Buck won't lie. He's interested. He became legitimately invested when REMOVEB4FLIGHT sat down and simulated a flight from JFK International Airport to Singapore Changi Airport, and it was just under 19 hours.

Buck didn't watch the entire thing, don't be stupid. But he did watch the last 4 hours which... Shut up. It should have been boring, but there was enough going on between the chat and REMOVEB4FLIGHT that it wasn't.

And it was also cute. The guy was cute. He was already obviously tired by the time Buck and Christopher started watching, and as he got more tired he got gigglier and gigglier. Explaining that "No. No pilots will ever fly 19 hours straight, I'm just doing it because I thought it'd be a fun challenge and oh nooooo do I regret it. My only goal is to be coherent enough to not crash land this A350."

The plane does not crash land and at the end, REMOVEB4FLIGHT runs his hands through his curly hair, laughs in exhaustion, and says "Great, I'm gonna go sleep for 12 hours because I've got a shift in 14. BYE."

And Buck keeps watching after that, when he can. There's something calming about it, in a weird way. It's both is and isn't ASMR. Any ASMR is absolutely on accident, but the guy has a really nice set up, a really nice mic. And a really nice voice. And a really nice face. He explains in detail what he's doing and why, like he's giving a casual lesson on How To Fly.

Buck learns that the his name is Tommy, and he is actually a pilot but he flies helicopters and that's "-the only other information you need about my day job."

Not all of Tommy's streams are 19 hours, though they're still long. A lot of them are him being like "What's the weirdest place I can land this thing?" or messing around in multiplayer. Maybe something where he tries to recreate relatively famous crash landings, like one day he goes "We're Gimli Gliding it today" and he does crash pretty badly the first time, but he gets it on the second.

It becomes a thing Buck and Christopher talk about, because they both keep up with it. Chris starts pestering Eddie to get him a joystick and pedals to play Flight Simulator, but those aren't exactly cheap so Eddie promises it for xmas. Buck is already stewing over how to potentially adjust settings and shit to make sure that the inclusion of foot pedals isn't an issue for Chris, etc etc.

Sometimes when Buck is part of the Chat Conglomerate Tommy comments on something he's said. It makes him giddy. It's difficult to describe. He just likes this guy. This guy's cool. Buck's getting attention from someone on the internet, sue him. He likes it.

And then the drama with the cruise ship. Buck doesn't think anything of it when Chimney reaches out to an old friend named Tommy, because why would he? It's a common enough name. But then Buck walks into Harbor Station and comes face to face with REMOVEB4FLIGHT and oh. Oh shit.

[god-has-entered-my-body]

"i’ve been very bad. i think i need to be punished. "

need mpind matty to take the piss and start talking to girlie like he's in a bad porno

mpind matty would sooo fucking do that and be a total shit about it lmao. onwards, it'd look a little something like:

The two of you sitting on the sofa, sides touching as you watch something random on the telly. Matty being the chronic ADHDer he is can't focus on the film for the life of him, getting oh-so easily distracted by the pressure of your thigh against his, skin bare as you wear nothing except cotton panties under your his shirt.

Oh course it riles him up, seeing you half naked just sitting there, watching a film like you don't have, in his words, "the most gorgeous, ready-for-you man" sitting right next to you. You scoff at his words, rolling your eyes and turning your attention away from him something he definitely doesn't like.

It starts with a hand on your knee, tracing pattern into your skin absentmindedly before slowly trailing north, inching the hem of your shirt upwards. he knows hes not sneaky in the slightest, and you do genuinely want to watch the film, so you push his hand away, shifting to be a bit more out of his reach.

Matty doesn't stop pestering you, even going so far as pulling you in for a messy kiss, shamelessly feeling you up over your shirt. You don't want to give him what he wants, knowing it'd spur him on in the future.

The last straw is him fully jumping on top of you, straddling your lap with his also bare legs, having gotten rid of his jeans when he noticed your lack of bottoms. His shirt falls over his body like a sheet, his shoulder visible where he had cut the neckline open. The effort it took to fling himself into your lap has him panting as he stares into your eyes, challenging you to say something.

"That desperate for my attention, are you?" you're visibly annoyed, getting the remote to pause the telly before turning your eyes back to the boy perched on top of you.

Something lights up in Matty when he sees your disgruntled reaction to his little spiel, licking his lips as words form in his mouth. "I've been bad." he breathes, smirking at you. "I think i need to be punished."

You screw your eyes shut at his cringey choice of words, pressing your hands to his chest to push him off you. He fights back, using your shoulders for leverage and pushing you down.

"I've been a naughty, naughty girl." Matty pitches his voice high, giggling maniacally as you groan, scrambling to get him off you. A moment of silence passes between the two of you and you think he's finally done. Oh, how wrong you are.

"I haven't any money to pay you for these drinks." he gestures at the worn down mugs filled with rosé and you cock your head, confused. What the fuck is he on about? He literally bought the wine, you were there.

"I could pay you some other way baby, make you feel real good." his hands cup your tits through your shirt, grinding his hips down on to you so obscenely you question your entire relationship with him.

Matty throws his head back, moaning almost incoherent words that sound like something straight out of a shit porno, making you cringe inwardly and outwardly, your hands splayed over his front, trying to shove him off you.

"Fucks sake Matty what is your damage?" you half groan half laugh at the absurdity of the situation.

"Nothing, actually, i'm just a free spirit." he might actually kill you, you think.

"Anyway, speaking of fucking." Matty's inflection makes shiver run up your spine as he peers down at you from above, a mischievous glint in his eye. "I'd quite like you to fuck me now, seeing as we are in the required position, hm?"

You roll your eyes a second time, shaking your head dismissively. "Fuck no mate, you've ruined the mood now." Matty's expression deflates at your words, a performative pout adorning his lips.

He's unusually quiet for the next few moments, his eyes raking over your face and body, landing on your hard nipples visible from under your shirt. His tongue runs over his bottom lip, wetting it as his hands trails down your sides, caressing the skin.

Matty lets his right hand sink further, bunching up your shirt over your hips. He thumbs at the waistband of your underwear, making you gasp. Matty smiles giddily at your reaction, pressing a chaste kiss to the side of your neck, his fingers dancing along the skin of your inner thighs.

You let him touch you, feeling his digits slip under the cotton of your panties, the newfound pressure on your clit making a small moan spill from your lips.

"Sure i've ruined the mood? Your body tells me otherwise, darling." Matty coos into your ear, grinning wildly as your hands find his back, bringing him impossibly closer

[666writingcafe]

Journey Through the Soul

Author's Note: I'm combining Solomon's side chapters in the hard mode of NB9 and 10 into one thing and doing some reshuffling in the process.

MC

I want to show you something.

When Solomon sent me that message during my latest shift at the House of Lamentation, I thought it was a physical object of some kind. After all, he does like to go shopping quite a bit when I'm gone; he claims that a lot of the stores in this timeline aren't in ours, and he wants to get as much stuff as he can before we return back home.

So, imagine my surprise when I find myself in a brightly-lit, lavishly decorated dining room with platters of food all over the place.

"Please tell me you didn't--" I start to say, thinking that he spent a ridiculous amount of money for dinner. However, I'm interrupted by Solomon putting a finger on my lips.

"Watch," he whispers.

"They're mine!" someone yells suddenly.

"No, they're mine!" a second person replies loudly.

Except these aren't two random people arguing with each other.

"You certainly are stubborn, aren't you?" Diavolo asks, laughing heartily.

"Not as stubborn as you!" Simeon exclaims, his laugh sounding a lot crueler than what I'm used to. "There's no way we're turning over humanity to you demons."

"Well, what gives angels any right to them? The way you try to exert ownership over them is arrogant, don't you think?"

Am I witnessing one of Solomon's memories?

"You've got it all wrong. We aren't trying to exert ownership over them. We serve as their guides. Humans are weak and fragile creatures, and we have to be there to protect them."

"You really don't get it, do you? Humans are quick to lose sight of their path in life and end up lost and confused. We should be the ones to show them the way. We could lead them some place where they'd be able to find happiness."

We were taught that humans were dumb creatures easily tempted by sin. Part of our job was to keep them on the path of salvation because they were too stupid to do it themselves.

This isn't a memory, is it?

"Ah, there you are! So glad you could come!" Both Diavolo and Simeon--or whoever these entities are--have spotted Solomon and look overly pleased to see him. "You can have some of my chocolate cake."

"Or you can eat some of my fixed fruit pound cake," Simeon offers.

"So, which will it be?"

"Which do you prefer?"

"Well, Solomon?"

Yeah, this isn't about cake.

Everything becomes completely still. Solomon sighs, and I realize he's frozen the scene playing out in front of us.

"This is creepy," I tell him.

"Only because they look like people you know." I'm unconvinced.

"Trust me, MC," Solomon continues upon seeing the look on my face. "Their appearances are unimportant. I wanted you to witness this particular argument between angels and demons because it's one that I've been brought into several times throughout my long life. They want to hold power over me--over humanity--for all of eternity. Both of them. And no matter what I do, they won't stop pestering me about it." As he talks, he visibly becomes more distressed.

"Are you afraid I'll get roped into it, Solomon?" His eyes meet mine.

"You already have. They're just doing a better job of hiding it from you."

You using the half-breed is one of the smarter moves you've made in a long time.

You have pacts with seven of the most powerful demons in the Devildom and the blood of angels flowing through you. I’d be stupid to not have you by my side.

I would do anything for you, even if it cost me my life. But I also want to completely destroy you.

"Have you ever eaten any of the cake?" I ask him.

"Yes. I have. But the alliance has always been temporary, which annoys them."

"Of course it does. You always have to be difficult and troublesome." The room suddenly disappears, leaving Solomon and I standing in a black void with a disembodied voice echoing throughout it.

"If only you'd chosen our side, it would've made things so much easier," the familiar voice adds, causing Solomon to chuckle.

"Well, sorry to disappoint you, but you must know I wouldn't do that, right? After all, that's part of our agreement." A groan. "So why do you continue to test me? Shouldn't we be past that by now?"

"Never." I want to leave. Now.

"You think I'm questioning my convictions."

"At the moment, no. But you might now that you've allowed yourself to love someone again." What?!

"What if something bad happened to your darling apprentice?" the voice continues taunting. "Or maybe they choose to side with us. Wouldn't you want to stay with them, no matter what?"

"MC feels the same way I do. Your threats mean nothing."

"How can you be so sure? They've already assumed the form of a demon. What's to stop them from continuing to behave like one after you two return to your timeline?" Silence.

"Solomon?" I ask. I've never seen him look this unsure before. Does he have doubts about my allegiance to him? To humanity in general?

"He doesn't know what you truly want, MC. He's incapable of seeing inside your heart."

"And you can?" I'm pissed. Here Solomon was, showing me part of his soul, and this guy decides to hijack that and push us around in the process.

"Of course. That's part of my job. I know how you feel about the brothers. You only see Solomon as your safe option. You don't actually love him. Not completely, anyway. If you had your way, you'd be a full-time resident of the Devildom, allowing everyone to use you as they saw fit."

"Enough!" For once, no retort. "The only reason I agreed to leave my timeline in the first place is because you told me that Simeon needed my help. I have no interest playing your sick little political game. My loyalty is with the people I love, and that includes Solomon." Another groan, this time drawn out more.

"You two have confidence to the point of arrogance. You'll end up falling just as hard as those brothers, if not worse."

"You're one to talk." It seems as though Solomon has gained his confidence back.

"How dare you?!" Solomon shrugs.

"You're the one that made me this way, so don't be surprised when I start acting like you, Nightbringer." I didn't realize our companion had a name. "Now, either you leave willingly, or I will force you out myself. But we're done here."

Taglist: @lost-in-time-wanderer, @fuzztacular, @dianedancer18, @sweetbrier2908, @flare-love, @completelyshatteredbrokenmschf, @thunderlightning351, @l3v1chan, @anxious-chick, @5mary5, @expressionless-fr, @tenkobitch

[watchinglikeafangirl]

Nothing new coming from love syndrome except no consequences for the biggest red flags out there. This episode was such a bummer, such a filler episode, it's very unpleasing. Give me some couple moments and not unnecessary brutality and jealousy. Day really needs to get his act together or he will grow from my favourite to my least favourite character which would be fatal since he's the only reason I'm still watching. This show is really not worth waiting for every week but well, I wanna know the big plot twist and if there's even one.

Itt is living the comfiest life out there, he can just leave his home for some time without having problems at work for it, without anybody worrying and he instantly gets some new friends since "he looks korean" and if you guessed it or not, there's even another gay man next to his tent who immediatly starts flirting. Of course the guy seeks every chance he can get to hit it off with Itt but Itt's just sad and notices too late since he's "the naïve protagonist" that he's absolutely not in all the other episodes.

And Day is frustrated since he can't remember, everybody doesn't understand him and gives him clues like "it's a very important place for the both of you" ehich actually helps him remember? How the hell did Day figure it out so fast? Was that the only important memory of this two year-relationship? It would have been fun if he would have remembered several things before actually catching the right memory while pestering Night and Gear about whoch memory they mean exactly. But no, Day immediatly catches on and Itt once again, doesn't have his old partner back since Day can only remember this one thing and nothing else.

Also, Day nearly kills Gear and NOBODY is bothered by that?! Gear is about to drown, Night interrupts and starts to cry and all of that, so I thought Day would come to his senses since his beloved brother started crying, but no? He looks like he doesn't care, like he suddenly lost his empathy he ever had for his little brother. Later, Gear even agrees to drive him to the waterfall at 3 am...why would he do that after this near death expreience? It doesn't add up at all and that's what I mean, they never face consequnces.

Day doesn't face a consequence for hitting Itt, for nearly killing Gear or for his obsession to make Itt his forever and kinda cage him into the relationship. Itt can go, he can leave, he should leave, but he doesn't. Technically Itt did walk away but it's about Day once again, it's to help him remember and not for the sake of Itt. When Day arrives, they instantly have sex and don't really talk...god this show is ridicolous lmao

The way Itt is too afraid to tell Day the truth about Peace spending the night in his tent since he knows Day is quick to unreasonable and violent jealousy, already sets all the alarms. Itt should run and Day should be isolated or something because they are both not good guys. Maybe Day and Itt were better people when they were together but from what I've seen so far, I highly doubt that. It's just the most toxic relationship ever and everyone calls it epic but then again, thry are all questionable characters...

[nightowlfandom]

Us Against The World- Solas (Dragon Age: Iquisition. Fem. Human! Mage! Reader) Part 1/2

You're a slightly clumsy human with a heart of gold...and a horrible lack of people skills. Everyone, though their intentions are pure, think of you as fragile...except for one person

Contains: not canon in the SLIGHTEST because Ion feel like crying today, smut (in part 2), Reader whose shorter than Solas, smut (In part 2), references to nightmares/sleeping problems Gen Z humor, 21st Century slang/references (because why not and it's funny!), Smut (in part 2), angst, emotions, references to mental illness, I'm trying to give everyone who loves this egg some crumbs. (It's me, I'm 'everyone') praise for your strengths because you deserve it

Solas is my husband and I can change him it's okay, it's fine. I'm not heartbroken at all.

CHECK OUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!!

X RATED PROMPT LIST| NON X RATED PROMPT LIST

Leggo!

...

It's a well known, yet unfortunate fact that however you introduce yourself to the world is how you are perceived and it's the persona you must stick to. Well, you were clumsy one. the girl who fell off a ledge, face first into the snow.

You had been walking, there was a log, then the next thing you know you went flying. A small group of people crowded around you and you had to brush off your pain and oncoming tears with a loud laugh and a snort. Ever since then, it was a known fact. If someone wasn't you, you were pretty much a lost cause.

Y/N was a cute little human, silly mage girl. She can't handle sharp objects without assistance. Cassandra, Cullen, Varric, Sera, EVEN Vivvienne (and considering her stance on mages, you were REALLY worried about that) all followed this fucked up code of conduct when it came to you. It sucked....it sucked Dire balls. You could have killed Blackwall when he stopped you from cutting open an apple with a dagger and did it himself, loudly stating "You could hurt yourself doing it that way."

"Mornin' Y/N" Krem had walked from his post over to where you were standing. You had been feeding your horse, Chestnut. "Slip on any puddles today?"

"Very funny." You sourly replied. "Did the big oaf send you on a solo mission to drag barrels of liquor through salty sea mud?"

"Don't remind me." he gagged. "I'm still not over last time."

"That's what I thought." you laughed. "And for the record, I'm wearing my slip resistant boots today. I had these made, strictly for this-" You began dancing in place. "See? No slipping today! HA!"

"Well, I'm happy for ya...I don't suppose your party will act any different?"

"Not in the slightest." You griped. "Imagine how much bargaining I had to do just to get a horse."

"I mean, a 800 kg death trap-"

As if being insulted, your horse gave a low huff, raising it's head from their obviously interrupted breakfast.

"Sorry buddy-" he laughed at your pet's diva-ish attitude. You watched as Krem gently combed his fingers through Chestnut's mane "But to be fair you did accidentally start a fire."

"It was aimed at the pile of wood meant for the fire anyways!"

"The fire was bright pink, Y/N..."

"Well no one told me that my staff was switched with Solas' and to be fair, I think it is quite impressive to start a fire with storm magic!"

"Which is why you aren't allowed to sleep with your staff next to you anymore."

"But it's still pretty cool." you pointed finger guns at your lifelong pal. "Admit it!"

"I'd have to agree." a new voice joined you. Speaking of Solas, he strode up with his hands tucked behind his back. "I've never seen something quite like that before. It's almost amazing to think no one outside of these walls could experience a phenomena."

"Heh, well...um-" you stammered. "I am pretty amazing." you shrugged, followed by a pathetic attempt to look casual.

"Pardon my meddling but I was hoping I could speak to Y/N for a moment." he looked who Krem who had been holding in a laugh.

"Right, I got some stuff to do. Drinks later?" he pointed at me as he began walking backwards, probably to pester Iron Bull or antagonize Cullen. You started wide eyed in terror as you were left alone. You faced Solas, trying to put on a smile.

"Um...hi?" you shyly waved.

"Hello, my friend." he greeted you back with a somewhat knowing smirk. "I hope all is well?"

"Um, pretty much." you rocked on the balls of your feet. "You wanted to speak with me?"

"Yes, yes I did." the much taller male smiled kindly. "I wanted to check in, and make sure your dreams aren't causing ailments again."

"..Oh, those." you sighed sheepishly. "I've felt worse...but they aren't bothering me too much." you confessed.

"Are they getting worse?"

"They're about the same."

As well as having slight troubles when it comes to staying vertical, your dream state had been suffering since you were small. It was one of the many reasons people kept an eye on you, after you made a campfire burn four trees down in your sleep.

Solas, being the only one well versed in this kind of stuff was tasked with helping you by any means.

"Hm, I feared you'd say that." he shook his head. "Ah well, I might have another solution."

"Hey, at this point I'll try anything." you pet your horse's head. "I don't know how much use I'll be if these stupid dreams keep getting worse. So you have a solution you said?"

"Hm, yes. I fear we must do it in private though, come to my cabin tonight."

"Can do, Solas." you nodded. As he stalked off, you released a dramatic breath. Not only was be ethereally attractive, but part of you felt like you couldn't breathe around him. "Tell me the truth, did that look bad?" You turned back towards Chestnut who had neighed through eating. "Great."

...

Night eventually fell, and the moon was nearly at it highest point. You stood outside of Solas' cabin, rocking on the balls of your feet. You couldn't find it in you to knock for whatever reason.

Solas must have sensed your presence anyways because before you could raise your hand, the door opened. "Ah, I thought I heard you out here. Please come in."

"U-um, sure!" you walked passed him into the warmth or a roaring fire. Solas really knew how to turn such a spot into a temporary home. His bookshelf, no doubt full of fables and tales as well as many different types of Codex.

"Please. sit." he motioned to his bed. For a while now, at least two days out of the week, Solas would have you in his cabin so he could somewhat 'experiment' with your dreams, must as he has with his own dreams.

"I was doing some reading, and I came across something that I am dishonored to say I missed."

"Oh?" you bought up your legs to sit on the bed with your legs crossed. "What is it?"

"Nightmares are a highlight of the things in our lives that scare us. You never did tell me what these nightmares were about. While it's not my place to ask, I fear the solution to helping you would be for you to tell me."

You frowned, looking down at your fingers. You dreams...they weren't about war, destruction or anything that anyone would really deem as worthy of getting help for. For a long time, you used to have dreams of home and how much you missed it. Then suddenly...

If it wasn't him dying in your arms, it was you dying in his. If it wasn't you dying of a broken heart, it was him laughing in your face. It was you behind a pane of glass unable to break it as Envy took the form of another woman and charmed him. It only got worse as time progressed. It then managed to turn into him killing you himself...on a good sleep.

"Is something ailing you?" he spoke softly, allowing you to break from your thoughts. "You know, I would never allow anything to happen to you."

"Solas, I can't tell you without risking anything." you sighed, standing up. "If I told you...I can't even imagine how little you'd think of me."

" Y/N, after all we've been through. After all you've been through, do you actually think that I'd ever think so lowly of you?"

"Of course not, but when you've been raised to keep your mouth shut because your troubles aren't nearly as 'valid' as everyone else, I have no choice but to think that way." you replied sourly. "If I tell you that my nightmares are because you-" you instantly stopped yourself from speaking, instantly regretting the words that escaped your lips.

"Me?...Your ailments...are because of me?" he whispered, mainly to himself. "Could it be?"

You watched as Solas began shifting his weight from side to side. Something which was very out of character for him.

"Solas, say something." you took a step towards him. "Please say something, anything."

"For the longest time, I've been having difficulties in The Fade, I can't hold focus well as I used to, I can't sleep soundly any longer. I've nearly succumbed to temptation so many times only to be woken up." he spoke in riddles again, much like he did when coming to a discovery. "Y/N...have you been having dreams because of your feelings towards me?"

"M-my feelings towards you?!' you repeated. "I-um..." you looked down at your feet. "I-....yes." you nodded.

"Have you seen death? Envy?"

You nodded again. "I watched it seduce you and take you away from me." you bit back the tears of embarassment.

"Did you kill me in any of them?"

"No." you found it in you to look up. "You killed me." You emphasized. "You laughed in my face, and told me-"

"Why on Earth would I ever love scum like you?" you both said at the exact same time. It was your turn to look surprised. How did he know.

"Solas." you whispered. "Have you been-"

"I've been having nightmares, each one worse than the last. All of them involving you saying the most heinous things to me"

"What?" you stammered. "S-solas I would never-"

"Allow me to finish. I fear that if I don't, I'll never get to say thing-" he spoke. "My adoration for your has manifested itself into fear. Fear that you would never-"

"Never what?" you asked.

"I could only dream of being in your presence the way I want." he spoke. "To look into your eyes in the way lovers do, to share intimacy."

Your words caught in your throat. Hearing him speak so highly of you.

"S-solas." you whimpered. "Are you saying-"

"I'm in love with you, Y/N. Why else would I put up with that mage hating human piece of-....piece of shit. That unruly, far too outspoken bull...and Varric" He stepped closer to you.

You opted to laugh at the lack of description for for Varric. Cullen and Iron Bull were a bit much, but you hadn't realized that Solas felt so strongly. Either you were blind or ignorant.

"I thought you'd never feel the same." he rested his forehead against yours. "I was swayed into thinking you'd never-"

"For such a smart guy, you sure are silly." you laughed sheepishly. "But I-" you couldn't help but laugh again.

"What are you laughing at?" Solas furrowed his eyebrows, though he wore a knowing smirk.

"Nothing...nothing at all." you shook your head.

"...I really want to kiss you right now." he whispered lowly. "If you'd indulge me."

"Might wanna hurry up before we both realize we're dreaming."

"Oh don't even joke about that." he rolled his eyes, rested a hand on your cheek. Solas somewhat uncharacteristically eager. crashed his lips over yours. You grew hot, your tunic becoming heavy. You absentmindedly held onto his sleeve in an effort to stay upright.

" A giant hole in the sky, an impending war, murky islands, and Vivienne's constant nitpicking....and this is easily the biggest victory of my life." you thought.

Solas broke away from you, breath every so slightly wavering. "I don't know what's better, knowing this is real...or -"

"Knowing Cullen is going to lose his mind when he finds out?" you giggled.

"Exactly." he smirked, kissing you again.

(PSA , Not making Krem romanceable was a crime because I love him....I will die on this hill

Smut in part 2)

[ava-achlys]

The Boyz NSFW Scenarios

Kim Sunwoo - Hands Off [Requested]

softdom!Sunwoo x gf!reader

Request: Sunwoo likes to play with his girlfriend's breasts

Warnings: mentions of bullying, body image, underage drinking, anxiety (very brief), titfucking

Long overdue request for @ace-seventeen-world , I hope you like it! Also first time writing anything about titfucking, I hope it turned out alright. 🙏🏽

Sunwoo loves you even when you don't feel like loving yourself.

Being well-endowed since puberty hit meant you received a lot of unwanted attention from all genders. Some would pass judgement, calling you desperate for attention; and some would ogle and make lewd comments. This led to you coming to school wearing oversized baggy clothes and even turtlenecks no matter the weather. The less your body was apparent for people to judge, the better, you thought. Except the comments never stopped. You were so sick of your body being the talk of the student population of your small-town high school that you couldn't wait to graduate; and move far away to start afresh in college, where you futilely hoped that people would be more mature about these things.

Moving away for college turned out to be the best decision you made. You made a whole bunch of new, more mature friends who taught you to embrace and appreciate your body. Inappropriate comments from strangers still came your way, but with your new, reliable support system, you learnt to shut them out, and your girlfriends would even try to fight them for you, which made you feel very touched and grateful. Apparently, this sincerity didn't stop with just your good friends. That was also how you met your current boyfriend. Your friends had convinced you to come with them to a party during your first semester, and you allowed them to doll you up, upon much pestering. You were dressed in a nice blouse and skirt, which turned some heads at the party, and though you felt rather self-conscious in the beginning, you loosened up after a few drinks and dances. From there, you didn't care if people paid good or bad attention to you; all you wanted was to have fun with your best friends.

One of your friends introduced you to a gaggle of other first- and second-years, who were very loud and goofy, except for one; who had previously been laughing boisterously along with them until he set his eyes on you. He abruptly stopped laughing when you made eye contact, and you could have sworn he developed a light flush. With pouty lips and dark eyes, and a mop of fluffy black hair, he smiled shyly at you, nodding in acknowledgement and softly introducing himself. His voice was deep and had an attractive drawl and a pleasant raspiness. His name was Sunwoo, and you ingrained it into your memory easily, smiling shyly back at him. You mostly kept to yourself as the rest of them chatted, nursing your drink when a flurry of words and a loud slap shook you. You whipped around to see one of the boys, with cotton-candy hair and sharp feline eyes rubbing his arm and muttering under his breath next to Sunwoo, who was staring at you while whispering something to the boy - Eric, was it?

"Apologize!" Sunwoo hissed, nudging him. You tried to back off but Eric nervously came forward and rubbed his neck sheepishly, stuttering an apology while avoiding your eyes. He didn't specify what he was apologizing for, but you already had an inkling. All your friends were now staring at you, confused as to what had transpired. Unable to handle the stifling awkwardness, you quickly murmured "It's fine, Eric," before speedwalking away to get some fresh air, unaware that a certain dark-haired boy was scurrying after you. You turned to the nearest balcony and hurriedly gulped some fresh air to calm down, all-too-familiar feelings of panic and shame drowning you. You fought back tears, ignoring some of the smokers occupying the same space, who were looking at you with a mixture of confusion and pity. You managed to calm your breathing, and blink back tears, when a figure slowly comes to stand next to you. He doesn't look at you out of courtesy, fixing his gaze straight ahead. "Are you alright?" he asks softly. You nod firmly, trying to seem completely calm. "Eric... sometimes says things without thinking, but I know that's not an excuse. I just want to apologize again, for making you uncomfortable." His voice is gentle and soothing, and you tilt your head to face him, since he was a bit taller.

"It's not your fault, but thanks Sunwoo. And don't worry, parties aren't really my thing, I just came cause my friends were begging me to join them," you chuckle softly, to which Sunwoo gives you a lopsided grin.

"I feel you on that. I'm here to look after my idiot friends."

You share a good laugh, and spend the rest of the evening getting to know each other, but conversation comes easy, like you've known each other for years.

You and Sunwoo's paths seem to cross often, apparently because his faculty was right next to yours, and soon your friend groups merge and become one massive group, and you've even forgiven Eric. Days turned into months, casual meetups turned into lunch and movie dates, and soon you and Sunwoo are constantly switching back and forth staying over at each other's apartments.

Ever since you two started dating and you've gotten used to wearing more comfortable clothes around him, you've noticed him staring at your chest every now and then, but at least he had the decency to look apologetic and embarrassed whenever you catch him. You started to tease him, and he would bashfully hide his face and whine cutely. To get back at you, he'd purposely keep his hands cold and hug you out of nowhere, just to hear you squeal, knowing you're ticklish. Sometimes he'd be even bolder, trailing his hands up your sides and cupping your breasts under your shirt, especially when you walk around the house with no bra on. He'd do it when you're cuddling on the couch watching a movie, or worse, when you're trying to study. You didn't mind it usually, since you appreciated the support from his hands since the weight of your breasts takes a toll on your back, and you weren't fond of wearing a bra 24/7. Except the little shit likes to tease, jiggling them around and squeezing them when he's being extra playful, even grazing your nipples with his fingertips; chuckling lowly in your ear when you gasp or squirm in pleasure.

One night in bed, you confront him jokingly. Your period was on its way soon, and your breasts were feeling extra tender and swollen, something you had complained about, so your dear boyfriend very happily obliged, massaging them gently to ease your discomfort. After a while he gets bored, and starts prodding them, round eyes watching intently as they bounce. You can't help but laugh at how adorably fascinated he looks, so you ask him why he's so enamored by your boobs.

"They're just.. fun to play with, yknow? Bouncy and squishy. Can't help myself okay, you're just so perfect," Sunwoo grumbles, blushing again since he got caught.

"Yeah? What if I lose weight and they get smaller? Will you still like me then?" you ask, feeling rather self-conscious, irrational worries that he only likes you for your assets filling your mind. You try to ignore them, knowing your relationship with Sunwoo was much more than superficial, but trauma and bad memories keep causing you to doubt yourself.

"Of course I would!" Sunwoo gasps, reaching up to hold your face urgently but with such a tender gaze in his eyes. "It's still you, and you'll always be perfect, and I love you no matter what."

Tears welled up in your eyes when he said those words. Few people had treated you with such genuine kindness and you were so grateful to have him as your partner. You squished his cheeks together and pressed a kiss to his lips, surprising him. "I love you too, Sunwoo," you whispered, a small smile on your teary face. A cheeky grin slowly replaces the shock on his face. "Shall I show you just how much I love you?" he drawls, crawling on top of you, making you lay down on the bed. Sunwoo positions you to nestle comfortably against the pillows, helping you take your shirt off afterwards.

Your cheeks start to heat up at Sunwoo's intense gaze raking over your body, and your arms habitually come up to shield your breasts, but he's quick to catch them, gently pulling them away. "Don't be shy. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever met, inside and out," he murmurs, making you blush even harder. He kisses you deeply, before trailing his lips down, pressing light kisses down your neck and across your chest, gently nipping at the skin just above your right nipple. He resumes massaging your breasts, admiring the way your face scrunches up cutely in pleasure, his warm hands on your skin making you sigh happily. He leans down again, tracing a circle around your areola, making you shiver. He teases you a little more, flicking your hardened nub with his tongue before finally latching on and suckling on it, rubbing it periodically with his tongue. His hands are still massaging your breasts, twisting and tugging on your other nipple.

He pulls off with a satisfied 'pop' when you whine, pleased with how raw and puffy your nipple has become, glistening with an abundance of his spit. He dives back down to subject your other nipple to the same treatment, but this time, his free hand creeps down your tummy and between your thighs. You moan when he grazes your clit with his fingertips, and you can feel his plush lips smirk into your skin, obviously proud of himself. You willingly part your legs, and he dips his middle finger straight into your folds, your juices coating his finger instantly. He raises his head to look at you, eyebrows raised cheekily. "So wet already, babe? Always knew your nipples were so sensitive," he chuckles, slowly pumping his finger in and out of you. You shut your eyes, the stimulation of his mouth on your chest and his hand on your pussy clouding your mind. He inserts another finger and pumps you faster while he drags his teeth against your puffy nipple, making you shiver and moan even louder.

He starts leaving hickeys and bites all over your decolletage, looking forward to seeing those pretty marks bloom purple tomorrow morning. Finally, he eases up on his ministrations on your chest, and focused on fucking you hard and fast with his fingers, slamming three digits into your core, gleefully watching the way your breasts jiggle from the impact. He glances up at your face, finding your head tossed back, soft mewls and moans falling from raw, bitten lips. You're clutching the bedsheets in a death grip as Sunwoo starts sucking on your clit as he fingers you. He sucks hard, nudging it with his tongue every so often as he slows down his thrusts, opting to scissor you open and drag his fingertips along your walls, rubbing hard against your g-spot when he finds it, indicated by your shrill yelp. "B-babe, gonna c-cum," you gasp, still writhing in pleasure. "Go on, love, cum for me," he mumbles against your core, and soon you're clenching on his fingers, coating them with your cum, and he continues to fuck you through your climax.

Gasping for air, you wince as he pulls his fingers out, pussy clenching on nothing as you watch him idly put them in his mouth, sucking them clean. He smiles lazily at you, telling you how sweet you taste and even gives you a kiss, making you taste yourself. Your cheeks turn crimson again, and you decide you want to return the favor, having felt his hard cock pressing against your thigh when he leaned down to kiss you. You eye the tent in his jeans, and start unbuckling his belt. He looks at you in alarm, grasping your hands to stop you. "Baby, you don't have to do that, this is about you," he smiles gently. You pout at him. "But I wanna help you too! I have an idea that I always wanted to try with you…" Sunwoo takes a moment to consider, making sure you were genuinely comfortable doing so, and his eyes glimmer with anticipation when he nods in agreement. You beam wordlessly at him, helping him out of his jeans and boxers. You can't help but lick your lips at the sight of his erect cock.

Sunwoo's dick always made you feel good, whether it was fucking your pussy or your throat, but you always wondered what it would feel like sliding between your bountiful breasts. You pull him up to straddle your chest, and his eyes widen when he realizes what you want him to do. "Really?" he gasps, dick twitching with excitement when you readily nod. He chokes on a moan when you swipe your finger up his cock, gathering his dripping precum to slather it between your breasts. He slowly slides his dick into the valley between your breasts as your hands push them together, making it even tighter around him, and he groans lowly. Sunwoo thrusts shallowly, loving the way the smooth skin of your breasts feels around his aching cock. He begins to take over, his larger, warmer hands replacing yours, squishing your tits together as he rocks his hips faster, becoming addicted to the the feeling. It wasn't much physical stimulation for you, but you felt yourself getting hot again watching his face contort in pleasure, his tightening grip on your tender, sensitive breasts rather arousing. You can't look away, mesmerized by how good he looks with his lower lip caught between his teeth, grunting softly as he uses your tits to get himself off.

"You look so hot like this Sunwoo," you murmur, your hand resting on his thigh as he continues to piston his hips. He barks out a breathless laugh, "Have you looked at yourself properly? You're fucking gorgeous, babe, don't you ever forget that. Although, I'm down to remind you all the time." he winks. You smirk at him, and your hands come up to squeeze his muscular ass, the same way he likes to squeeze your boobs. He's got a nice butt, you had to admit, toned and sculpted from years of various sports, and it was your weakness the same way your breasts were his. He moans louder when he feels you groping his ass, hips stuttering as he approaches his climax. He throws his head back as he fucks erratically, squishing your tits even tighter together and you keen at the rough treatment. You coax him in a soft whisper to cum all over your tits, and soon he does, painting your chest white as his hips slow down, and he's gasping for air. A little bit of his cum has spurted onto your lips, but you willingly lick it up and smile up at him, your hands still soothingly rubbing his cheeks as he comes down from his high.

You grab some wet tissues from your bedside drawers and clean up your chest as best as you could, wiping away all the cum before Sunwoo flops next to you, resting his head on your chest the way he usually loves to. You lay there in comfortable silence for a while more, stroking his hair and you feel him smile into your skin, his finger absentmindedly tracing the hickeys he's left across your breasts. Maybe going to that party all those months ago was the best decision you ever made (second only to moving here for college), and maybe you and Sunwoo finally get out of bed to shower, and maybe you go for a second round in the bathroom, filling the steamy air with echoes of wet skin slapping and soft proclamations of 'I love you's.

[voidcat]

— to yearn, and apricate

characters: albedo, you

wc & genre: 1.4k ops & modern au of sorts

a/n: hi hey hii so i've been pestering aqua (@pen-observing) with a genshin mafia au since forever n its like a plan of ours going on?? so it was gonna b one big thing with routes for various characters in the sense of romance, and maybe some 'extras' to follow... this was supposedly be an extra for albedo,, i got ahead of myself

Albedo is watching from afar, as he always does.

A man of logic and science, he watches with a keen eye at all times.

He observes, examines and when the time comes, he builds a hypothesis, only to test it out and follow a course of actions according to the results he receives.

Respected by many in Ordo Favonius, though more rumors and assumptions arise at any place he sets foot, Albedo is nothing if not careful and deducting.

Eyes fixated, he watches once again, turquoise eyes now trained on you.

To talk of or define your relationship with Albedo would be a rather tricky one.

Long past the “hello – hello” basis and few conversations here and there, be on foot or not, occur when needed. But that’s all there is to it: when needed.

Not that either of you seem to mind it; to some, it’s even a story of success that the blond doesn’t ignore or scoff at your presence before him.

And right now, Albedo is watching as you and Sucrose talk by the corner of the main hall. At one thing you say, she lets out a loud and cheery laugh, one not everyone gets to hear personally, (he would know, as he is one of the few lucky ones) and sees the way she looks at you.

Albedo wonders quite often what’s it like to feel.

He sees the way Kaeya and Sucrose look at you and wonders how they feel as they do so, how you must feel. Surely, you must’ve noticed the looks, as you return them in your own way too. Maybe, except for the times Sucrose longingly stares at you from the laboratory, as you converse with someone else on the other side of the room, unaware of the world going around you.

Albedo cannot help but wonder if there was ever a way he could possibly harbor those feelings his friends did, even just for a moment. Not necessarily on the same intensity, and definitely not necessarily toward you.

He thinks back to the night when Sucrose had too much to drink and talked about her university days; filled with joy, a hidden love somewhere and a grief that follows afterwards –as well as a hint of anger directed toward a third party, which piqued Albedo’s interest a little bit.

And though Albedo is bothered at how you appeared out of nowhere only to set your roots in deeper, your existence fits into the empty slots of the puzzle that was Sucrose’s, presented before him that night. The hicks, shaking hands, fists and the sudden change in her voice, hazy eyes staring at nowhere as if reliving a memory long gone. More spirited than ever; with such strong emotions carried in her chest and on her shoulders.

When it comes to Sucrose and you, the pieces fit into place. But for the rest, it only falls deeper in the light of day.

And it’s quite intriguing; how you first entered with a whim, only to display a sense of familiarity you shouldn’t be carrying, no, not when you’re new to all of these, to the people of Mond as of today, to Kaeya’s little side project Albedo prefers not to think about.

Your explanations to these only make way for more questions, even if you don’t mean so.

When Albedo observes Kaeya and you, he can see how his advances stand out more. Flirty banter back and forth, he never holds back his gaze. In his star kissed eye, Albedo can see hints and tints of some emotions, for you and only you.

It’s the way they look at you that makes Albedo grow more and more curious.

To Albedo, the phrase “love makes you blind” has never meant anything. He has seen and heard of people claiming to fall victim of it, that’s as far as his knowledge goes. Albedo has never experienced it himself, no. Yet in their eyes, he sees the truth to the saying.

Some days, when he thinks on it, he fears he will never have the bare necessities to experience it.

However Albedo knows better, as he doesn’t need to experience such emotions to see how blinding you can be.

And for this very exact reasoning, he doesn’t allow himself to be, for he’d be damned if his blindness, even for a blink of time, caused despair upon those dear to him.

And so Albedo keeps watching, not with a devotion like Sucrose’s or something more carnal like Kaeya’s.

He is on the watch, noting and analyzing even the tiniest speck of dust that shall land on your body. As a man of science and logic, it’s only expected of Albedo to be skeptical of things, and wary of you, the newest entry to the equation that surrounds him.

The state of research carries until all of his gathering shatters with a single presence that makes his way into the precinct.

It doesn’t take him long to connect the dots; though the way you’ve frozen up as Sucrose is running around in a frenzy, split on what to do, is more than telling that the balance has been meddled with.

Reaching out a hand on your shoulder, he meets your gaze with a nod and tilts his head toward the direction of his laboratory. Sucrose follows right after, trying to tidy up a bit and making place for you to sit. Turning the lock with a click, Albedo shuts the whole world outside. Yet he manages to catch a glimpse of the man entering.

Baizhu’s name has spread far and wide, known for all kinds of things, though Albedo knows about the shadier side of his business, –all thanks to Kaeya’s little secret project going.

Still, it begs the question how or why you’d be associated with a man such as him, and to end up badly on your end, clear from the way your brain and body reacted.

Just as Albedo assumed he has started finding the answers to his questions regarding you, you bring him a handful more, a new challenge.

He shrugs off the thought for the time being and makes way to you; who is still standing up, eyes fixated on the blurry green.

Placing a hand on your arm this time, he guides you to the spot Sucrose cleaned out already. Slow steps, one at a time, it’s hard to beat the rigidity of the body so quickly.

Sucrose’s concerned gaze heavy on you, yet your eyes seem blank, your expression says you’re out of it, out of this reality.

Helping you sit and leaving Sucrose to settle right beside you, Albedo walks back, closer to the door and leans against one of the counters, arms crossed. For the time being, for your sake, he’ll put aside the theories and the questions that are filling his brain.

By the time Baizhu has left, you’ve come back to your senses; although still acting rather cautious, you’re not disassociating.

Yet what captures Albedo’s attention the most is the look you give him.

Not like the ones you’ve offered Sucrose or Kaeya, or the irritating ginger who won’t stop sticking his nose into everything he sees.

This one you are offering outshines others in more ways than one. Even if it carries a hint of love, Albedo doubts he could recognize it, but he spots emotions of equal value, and gratitude.

For offering the laboratory as a sanctuary or for refraining from asking the questions about a time you’re trying your best to avoid and move one, he is not sure. Maybe it’s this mutual understanding and shared silence the two of you have held since the beginning.

Yet he can’t help but feel content all the same. And before he can notice, a smile creeps up to his face. Though it’s often loving gazes shared between others that catch his eye, only to make him yearn for such experiences and a chance to feel complete; the one you are carrying, for him, feels heavy on him, a feeling in his chest spreading.

Not sure what, exactly.

Even so, he doesn’t need a name to appreciate this rare opportunity, one not even Sucrose or Kaeya had seemed to live.

Albedo has never understood the phrase “Love makes you blind.”

Yet in that moment, he decides he wouldn’t mind going blind if it is your light that’ll caress his eyes.

[obsidiancreates]

Anybody Gonna Come and Rescue Me? La La La!

Part 1/2: Everybody Wants To Change The World

"He's going to do it again," Rave growls. "He doesn't care."

"None of them do." Torture hugs itself and laughs. "How long were we gone again? And none of them ever noticed?"

"Can't I make one sandwich without you guys going all revenge-crazy?" Klaus groans. "Ben, could you-"

Ben smacks both ghosts upside the head.

"Thank you. Besides, I used to disappear all the time. They probably didn't even know I was in the house before it happened." He waves his hand dismissively at the ghosts.

"That's worse," Torture spits.

"Not really. At least they know how to give someone person space," he fires back.

"Um." He looks up at Allison in the doorway. "Are you talking to Ben?"

"No," Klaus sighs. "Just some pestering assholes who won't shut up about how they died."

"At least you can ignore them." Allison starts making herself a smoothie. "Must be easier to do when they can't touch you."

"They always assume they have it worse." Rave glares at Allison. "They don't know. They don't care."

"Let me breathe again," a six year old Klaus ghost cries at Allison as she cuts fruit. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean it, let me breathe again! I wanna breathe again!"

Klaus puts his sandwich down. His appetite is gone.

Ben kneels down and picks up the little ghost, trying to soothe it. The ghost keeps crying, grabbing for Allison desperately.

"We were just a kid," Rave says, watching Ben. "Just a kid..."

"We were all kids," Klaus mutters. "It's not like I'm the only person. Remember all of Viktor's nannies?"

Wrong thing to say. Another appears, three years old, sobbing. The ghostly tears drip off quick, it's neck and head bent at unnatural angles. The nannies appear next, scooping up the child and shushing it as Ben does for the six year old.

Klaus leaves his sandwich behind as he he flees.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"You can't be serious."

Luther keeps holding out the cup. "Look, we might need you to summon Ben again-"

"We're not worth anything to him." Not Rave this time, shockingly. A teen, maybe fifteen at most, glaring at Luther through a dirty domino mask. "He knew we were under that ceiling. He let it crush us anyway."

"I've got Ben keeping me in line, thanks." Klaus taps the cup. "Besides, piss has always been one of the few things on my 'no exceptions' list."

"... What?"

"Nevermind." Klaus tries not to look at the ghosts of... times he'd rather forget. Moreso than others. "Might be a little much for your freshly-popped cherry to handle, big guy." He forces a laugh.

Luther goes bright red at the reminder. Rave seethes and starts screaming in Klaus's ear about how Luther abandoned their body just to get laid.

"-even listening? We can't risk you falling off the wagon-"

"He dragged us into a place full of drugs when we just got sober."

"-and we probably need to start you training again-"

Screams of horror and pain and rage-

"-so just pee in the damn cup-"

"They still don't care. This isn't about helping us. How many times have we OD'd in this place and they didn't notice?"

"I'm not doing drug test!" Klaus snaps. "In case you haven't noticed I actually have a fucking reason for staying sober now! To see someone who cares about me!"

Luther reels back. "I do care about you."

Klaus laughs bitterly, hearing it echoed around him, and he opens his mouth to say more-

He sees Rave grinning.

He snaps his mouth shut. He sighs and rubs his eyes, trying to push out the feeling Luther the ghosts had stirred up. "I know. Sorry, just... forgot to eat today."

He grabs the cup. "Just don't sell it later."

"Why would I-"

"We've still got a few fans, you know. Paid for a hell of a night, I can tell you that."

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"Remember how Ben said he walked right by us?" an overdose says with a laugh as he shivers, dripping wet from rain. "Just on his merry way, too busy saving lives to bother with ours."

"He just didn't see you," Ben says, glaring at the ghost.

Diego snaps his fingers in front of Klaus's face to get his attention again. "Did you hear me? I said we're gonna hit the gym together."

Klaus laughs. "The gym? I don't know if you've noticed but-"

"But you put on some bulk in that whole time-travel thing, and it's staying that way." Diego pokes his chest. "Then it's not all bad, right? Gave you something useful."

"DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT DAVE!" 'Nam wails. It grabs for Diego, snarling as it's hands go right through. Klaus claps his hands over ears as it keeps screaming, "DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT DAVE!"

"Hey, what the shit? Come on man, focus on me." Fingers snap in front of Klaus, and it just makes him try more to cut off his senses. "Luther, hey, what was the result of that drug test?! Something's wrong with him!"

"Always something wrong with us," a ten year old ghost moans, pale with blue lips and reeking of the musty scent of the mausoleum. "Why is it always something wrong with us? Why is it our fault?"

"I-I'm not high, Diego!" Klaus snaps, keeping his eyes shut and his hands over his ears. "Cripes, can't a guy have a sensory overload in peace?"

"What's overloading you?"

"Gee, I don't know, maybe the screaming undead!"

"Well how the hell do I help then?!"

"By not yelling more!"

"Will you be able to hear me if I stop?!"

"You're so bad at this!"

"Of course he is, he's never tried," Torture growls.

"Would you shut up!"

"Hey, I'm trying to help your sorry ass!"

"Not you, Diego! But you should shut up too!"

Ben slaps a hand over Torture's mouth, but 'Nam is still wailing about the perceived disrespect to Dave (and Klaus has to remind himself that Diego doesn't know, Diego doesn't know, he didn't mean it because he doesn't know-) and now that kid Klaus with the knife in it's chest is screaming-

"Fuck OFF!" Klaus isn't sure when he got to his feet and shoved Diego, but he's on his feet and Diego is stumbling back and Nam is hissing that Diego deserved it and Torture is laughing in a way Klaus is sure he's never laughed in his life and the kid one is trying to push Diego even more-

Klaus tucks his hands into his underarms and looks away. "Sorry. I just- sorry."

Diego eyes him for a second, and then shakes his head. "Can't help you if you don't want help, Klaus."

"We've never wanted anything more." Torture's former mirth is gone, now just... mournful.

Diego doesn't hear that, though.

So he walks away.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Five grabs Klaus by the ear and pulls him down to eye level while Klaus is busy modelling his first successfully knitted scarf for Ben.

"Hey HEY!" Klaus tries to tug away. "What's got your sweater vest so tight?!"

Five peers into Klaus's eyes. "Your pupil dilation is fine, but you're paler than I've seen you in weeks and you're shaking like I did my first winter in The Apocalypse. What're you on?"

"Again?" Klaus slaps Five's hand. "Why do all my brothers just assume I relapsed? I can't just have a cold?"

"Do you have a cold?"

"Not the point."

"Exactly the point, dipshit." Five pokes his stomach. "You're losing weight, too. All signs point to drug use."

"Or to the food in the house being a bunch of old musty shit."

"Remember when Viktor tried to get off the pills by putting them in our food?" a twelve year old ghost sighs. "I think we threw up less eating dumpster food."

"I know we did," an overdose snickers ruefully. "Little bastard thinks he's the only one who struggled to survive, at least he made it without a reset button."

"You ate army rations in the sixties, I think you can handle some stale peanut butter."

"You don't get to talk about it!" 'Nam swipes for Five's heart. "You don't get to talk about him! You sent us there! YOU MADE US LOSE HIM!"

"I can handle anything, but I don't always want to." Klaus puts his hand right in the center of Five's face and pushes him, just barely, just enough for Five to tilt a little but not even stumble. "Can I finish this in peace? Ben was about to show me in praise for my new scarf."

"It's actually not bad," Ben admits. "I don't get the mixing bright pink with black, though."

"That's because you have no taste." Klaus resolutely ignores Five still being there. "I think next I'll do a rusty orange. Like Dune."

"Dune?" Five scoffs. "When did you read Dune?"

"When did you?"

"You get time to read when the weather's too bad to scavenge, and I got days off sometimes from The Commission. I didn't even know you had the patience to read more than a bottle label."

He doesn't. But Dave would mutter to himself when he read on the bus, and after they'd stopped the world from ending it was some connection left, a thread, a tie...

"Well, someone I knew loved it." Klaus shrugs. "So I gave it a try." Muttering it aloud at night while trying so, so hard to manifest Dave, to find him, hoping it would bring Dave closer like it brought Klaus closer...

Five tilts his head a little. "The same person you love enough to get sober?"

Klaus looks up, and Ben looks at Five in surprise. Because someone is asking to know more.

"Yeah." Klaus's voice is soft. "Yeah. I... lost him too soon." He holds the dogtags.

"And that's worth giving up the drugs for?"

"He's better than any high I could have."

"More deserving of your sanity then we are."

"What?" 'Nam hisses.

"Little liar," Rave spits.

Klaus huffs. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"I'm just trying to understand why he was able to get under your skin so quickly and why his loss was so devastating to you. You know, The Commission is not above long-con missions, or sacrificing personnel."

Klaus grips the tags tighter. Ben groans and puts his head in his hands.

"What are you implying?"

"Nothing. But I'm concerned about how you've been acting lately. And how this... random person you met after your time travel is influencing it."

"HE'S NOT SOME-"

"-random fling," Klaus spits, his own voice lower than 'Nam's but no less disgusted.

"I'm sure he wasn't a fling for you," Five says and god that know-it-all tone makes 'Nam scream again and Klaus can't even blame the ghost. "But I don't trust the timing. You said it was ten months. That's not a lot of time to have this... intense, of a reaction."

"YOU NEED TO-"

"-get out."

"Hey, I'm trying to help you." Five gestures around the room. "You're a mess over this. You're reading Dune, you won't stop wearing that stupid vest, now you're sick-"

"It's not because of Dave."

"We don't know that-"

"I do!"

"DON'T TALK ABOUT DAVE LIKE THAT!"

Klaus claps his hands over his ears at the scream, not just 'Nam but Rave and even Torture and more who died so much younger-

"Hey." Five pulls Klaus's hands away from his ears with a softness that surprises Klaus. "Look. I just got you all back, alright? And now it feels like I'm losing one of you again. I know we've never been particularly close-"

One of the teenage ghosts scoffs, a bullet hole through it's heart from a time Five teleported away form a bullet while Klaus was right behind him. His body had fallen behind a desk. No-one had noticed.

"-but I'm trying to fix that. So let's talk about this... Dave, and figure out who he was and why he has so much influence over you."

And the warmth that had wormed it's way into Klaus's heart vanishes.

"He has so much influence," Klaus says, gripping his tags protectively, "Because he was there for me. I got thrown, into a hellscape, and he helped me through it. When I cried, he didn't roll his eyes. When I screamed, he didn't plug his ears. When I d-"

"He begged the universe not to take us," 'Nam says softly. "He begged it to give us back. And wouldn't leave our side after it did."

Five has his head tilted, studying Klaus. Most of the ghosts hiss at him because of how much that calculating, curious gaze looks like their father's.

"When you what, Klaus?"

"Nothing." The word is more a deep-rooted sigh than anything else. "If you want to talk, we can. But not if you're going to keep accusing Dave of that sort of thing."

"I'm not accusing anyone of anything, you idiot, I'm trying to figure out if you've been brainwashed or manipulated. If you don't want my help with that-"

"Yeah, okay." Klaus flops over face-down onto his bed. "Bye-bye now." He waves at Five.

"You don't get to dismiss me when I'm trying to bond with you!"

"Yes, accusing the one person who ever loved us of being a fake is such good bonding material," Rave snarls.

"Just shut up," Klaus groans into his pillow. He means the ghosts.

"Fine. Lay here in your self-pity until you're ready to talk like adults." Klaus hears that warbly little sound that means Five's blinked away.

"You guys are assholes," he mumbles."

"We're not the one who took the one thing that made us happy and tried to shit all over his memory."

"... Ben, tell me they're being assholes."

"They're being assholes. ... But they're right that Five was out of line."

Klaus sighs into his pillow.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"This is one of your worse ideas since getting sober."

"Don't be a spoilsport, Ben." Klaus rifles through their father's office some more. "We never got our inheritance, and I need new shoes."

"Not eighty dollar boots."

"It's practical. The more expensive ones last longer! They're better than the ones I wore to the funeral, too. More lift."

"Do you need to be taller?"

"No, but I like to be."

"Hey, Klaus."

He startles, turning around to see Viktor standing in the doorway. "Cripes on a cracker, you almost gave me a heart attack."

One of the ghosts laughs airily. "That's not what it felt like, remember?"

Ben smacks that ghost on the back of the head. It shuts it up.

"Sorry. Um, just wanted to see what you were doing." Viktor's eyes flick around the office. "... Looking for something?"

"Yeah, yeah." Klaus lifts his leg up. "Need new shoes, and as much as I love going barefoot I love it a little less when there's knives and lots of broken glass everywhere."

Vitor blushes a little, rubbing the back of his neck. "Sorry about that."

"It's fine, power training and all that, shit happens." He tries to ignore all of the blue-lipped and shivering tiny Klauses around him, mausoleum dust and grime still clinging to their spectral forms.

"Yeah. Kinda crazy to be the one doing it instead of just holding a clipboard for Dad. ... So um, what do new shoes have to do with Dad's office?"

"Well, mein bruder, I don't exactly have a steady income, if you haven't noticed." He flashes a grin. "So I figured dear old dad wouldn't mind a few parting gifts."

"... And that's... all you're using the money for?"

"Not this again." At least Rave sounds just annoyed instead of seething in unending rage this time.

Klaus's smile fades a little. "How many times do I have to remind you all that I'm sober?"

"Sorry. Just- I know relapses are common."

"Well, thanks for the concern, but I can manage."

"Right." Viktor lingers. "And, um... how're your powers?"

"What?" Ben and Klaus say at the same time.

"Just- wondering. ... Diego, said you were having trouble with them."

"Oh." Klaus blinks, still caught off guard. "They're, um..."

"He won't listen." One of the early-twenties ghosts. "Remember when you tried to reach out after that round of rehab? He used it in the book, like it was some example of our failure to get ahold of ourselves."

"It's not easy," Klaus says indirect defiance to that ghost, voice catching a little. "Lots of bitter bitches following me around."

Viktor laughs a little. "So they just... always follow you around? Like Ben?"

"Some of them. It's a little complicated, and... honestly, I have no idea how they work." He lets out a giggle. "No matter how much Dad tested and tested, they're just-" he swishes his hand around in the air. "-nonsense."

"At least you've had time to figure them out," Viktor says, and there's a teasing tone to the words but ouch.

"They still haven't pieced it together. Doesn't take a fucking genius to if they'd just pay attention," a fourteen-year-old ghost spits. He's one of the oldest Mausoleum ghosts.

"Well, about that." Klaus finds his hand making it's way to his dogtags. "The drugs sort of prevented all that, so... it's a little like I'm learning them for the first time."

"I thought they just prevented you from manifesting ghosts?"

"No, no, they... got rid of the whole thing." Klaus cracks another smile. "Traded screaming souls for diarrhetic hippos and a lot of distrust from my siblings. Seemed worth it at the time."

"... So you just... gave up on your powers? Because they scared you?"

"Well, yeah." Klaus scoffs a little. "You would too, trust me."

"No, I wouldn't. I-I had my powers drugged out of me for years, and it... ruined, my life. Why would you do that to yourself on purpose?"

"Is he... offended?" Ben stares at Viktor in disbelief.

"I know it doesn't make a lot of sense to everyone else," Klaus concedes, "But seeing mangled corpses gets old after a while."

"Klaus." Viktor's voice shakes. "You took away a part of yourself. You just threw away the thing that made you-"

"Horribly traumatized?" Klaus provides.

"Made you apart of the group." Viktor blinks at him like he's seeing the aforementioned diarrhetic hippo. "Do you know what I would have given to be you back then?"

"Do you know how fast you'd regret it?" an overdose whispers.

"Vik," Klaus says softly. "I know how you were treated wasn't right. But believe me, my powers weren't worth it. I'd be stuck on lookout and still unable to get away from the ghosts of people our siblings killed on the mission. Special training was-"

The mausoleum ghosts wail at the very mention, and he feels the blood drain out of his face as he lifts shaking hands to his ears. He whimpers.

"Klaus?" Viktor is closer now all of a sudden. "Klaus, come back. What's going on?"

"You think you're the only one who has panic attacks?" laughs Torture humorlessly over the sounds of the wailing. Klaus presses his hands even tighter around his ears.

"Let me try something." Viktor closes his eyes, and his skin starts to glow, and distantly Klaus thinks he might be trying to build up a sound for Klaus to grasp onto instead of the ghosts-

And then the three year old with the broken neck and bones begins screaming.

"NO! NO, NO, NO NO NO! NO GLOW, NO-NO, NO!"

Klaus shudders, shutting his eyes but instead of darkness he sees fuzzy, faded memories of Viktor having a fit over something and Klaus just so happening to be too close by when the wave of power hits-

"He's going to do it again!"

"We told you they don't care!"

"We warned you!"

"GET HIM AWAY!"

There's a shock of cold against his back, and then inside, sinking into the muscle and meat and bones, and Ben gasps and Klaus shivers and-

"What the hell!"

Klaus opens his eyes to Viktor now a few paces away. The three year old is standing just in front of him, laying on the floor.

"He slammed into Viktor's legs," Ben says in shock. "The rave one stuck his hands into you and the little on turned corporeal."

"What?" Klaus looks at his hands. "I didn't-"

"I'll just, leave you to it." Viktor stuffs his hands into his jack pockets. "Sorry for trying to help."

"No, wait-"

But he's already turned around and left.

Klaus collapses into Reggie's chair. Rave is looking at his own hands and grinning. Torture reaches into Klaus's chest, sending another shock of cold through him, and Klaus's hand splutter with blue.

Klaus jerks out of the chair and runs to his room, the delighted laughter of the ghosts following him the whole way.

[cumholland]

Neighbors Part 2

Chapter Two - Designed for You

(Tom Holland x Reader)

a/n: Thank you so much to everyone who loved the first chapter and asked for a second one! Also thank you again to @2018shawn​ for helping me come up with the idea and @moonshineholland​ for proofreading! Chapter 1 here

Summary: After a wrench is thrown into your relationship, will you and Tom be able to handle it or will it force you apart? WC: 9.6k

Warnings: Language, LOTS of smut, angst.

"I knew it!" Hannah screams into the phone. You had finally told her about the Tom situation after mulling over it for a couple of days. Now you were sitting in Tom's sun lounger by the pool. He was out shooting today but you decided to let yourself in to go for a swim and keep Tessa company. The last time you were over Tom had given you a spare key. Invited you to come at any time you pleased. He especially encouraged you to keep Tessa company as he worried about leaving her alone for too long. After taking for her for a walk, Tessa decided it was time for a much needed nap. With her asleep, you decided to catch up on tanning as well as catch up Hannah on your predicament.

"Don't get too excited, nothing has really happened since then." Ever since that steamy make out session with Tom, the two of you hadn't really talked about it. Tom's hands were all over you for the rest of the night traveling up and down your body, his lips all over your neck. You even fell asleep in his arms, not moving from the couch until almost three in the morning. Eventually, Tessa jumped on the couch, waking you both. Tom headed to bed as he needed to prepare for shooting the next day and you spent the rest of the night back home. Since then you had hung out with Tom once, only having dinner and watching a movie. Now, two days after making out with Tom, you weren't quite sure where he stood on the situation. "We haven't really acknowledged it, I guess," you explain to Hannah.

"Wait, so you're saying you had a lust filled night of passion and now you haven't porked his brains out yet?" Hannah never was one to put a filter on what she was thinking, but when it came to your love life she was especially honest.

You get up and pace around the pool, concrete hot against your bare feet. "It wasn't a lust filled night of passion, Hannah," you start. "All we did was make out. Maybe I'm a bad kisser and that's why he hasn't tried to make another move."

"No way!" Hannah exclaims. "Boys are horndogs, they could be kissing a corpse and still be into it."

"Gross," you interrupt. "Tom isn't like any other guys I've met, Han. He's really sweet and caring and he gets totally flustered any time we get flirty." That was a fact. Tom's face could turn red faster than the blink of an eye, as could yours. Neither of you had been particularly proficient when it came to the art of flirting, but you had mastered the art of making eyes at each other from across the room. It felt like both of you were holding back, and you weren't sure when that dam was going to break. You were almost certain it had when you finally kissed, but maybe not after all.

A bark pulls you from your thoughts. Your head whips back to the house and you see Tessa standing at the back door wanting to join you outside. You jog over to the door and let her out. "What is that?" Hannah asks. "Do I hear a dog?"

"It's Tessa." You had told Hannah about the situation with Tom but you had also left out the part about the spare key, meaning you hadn't told her you were at his house at this very moment either.

"Who's Tessa? Am I being replaced as your best friend?" Hannah says sarcastically. Tessa dances around your feet, whining for attention.

"Han, it's Tom's dog, you literally met her when you came over." You pat Tessa on the head before she takes off.

"Oh yeah... I would have remembered her name if she wasn't asleep the whole time I was there!" she pesters.

"She's a dog," you roll your eyes as if Hannah can see you. "Maybe if-"

"Hold the phone, you're at his house?" She interrupts. "Is he there? Are you about to bone? I'm so confused, please explain." Hannah's thoughts often ran a million miles a minute and today was no exception. You didn't mind though, she was just excited that your love life finally had a spark. You'd been hurt in the past and she knew you weren't the most open and willing when it came to dating. It made you happy that she was ecstatic for you, even when she was a little cavalier about it.

"No, he's on set today. I'm just hanging out with Tessa and sunbathing. He gave me a spare key, it isn't a big deal." It wasn't a big deal, really, but you knew Hannah could go on about that one for hours. "I'm just hanging out here until he's back and then maybe I'll try to talk to him about the - uh - incident."

"You mean your tongue down his throat? That incident?" She pesters.

"Yes, that one," you say, rolling your eyes. You settle onto the sun lounger again, just now noticing Tessa digging around in the garden. "Tess! Get out of there, I'm not giving you another bath today."

"I wanna hear whatever details you have after tonight," Hannah insists. "And we need to hang out soon, I miss you."

"I promise, Han, we'll hang out soon." You tuck your phone under the cushion and pull out your sunscreen to apply another layer, but the only thing on your mind is what you want to say to Tom when he's back.

When Tom finally arrives back home it's almost 10 pm. You spent the rest of the afternoon working on homework while Tessa kept herself occupied with a toy. You fed her at dinnertime and made yourself a sandwich. Waiting for Tom made the minutes feel like hours, each one dragging longer than the last. You were antsy for him to come back, but at least the longer it took him to come back, the longer you could put off talking to him about your feelings.

That kiss had left you reeling, even more so than you thought it would. After confessing to Hannah, the scene kept replaying in your head. Every time you forced it out of your mind, that feeling of Tom's hands on your bare skin would pull you back in and you'd be caught up daydreaming about the way his tongue had slid into your mouth. Your hand is gripping your thigh, heat building between your legs just thinking about it. You bury your head in your hands and rub your eyes as if you can rub away the thoughts of Tom in your head. Before you get too caught up again you hear the sound of the garage door opening. Tom's home.

Tessa makes a break for the door and whines until Tom finally opens it. He's got a big bag of takeout in his hands and heads straight for the kitchen, Tessa still sniffing and dancing around his shoes. "I didn't think you'd still be here," he calls over from the island. You make your way from the living room to the kitchen, joining him in the brightly lit room.

"I would've made you dinner if I had known what time you were gonna be back but I wasn't sure." You had texted Tom earlier in the day but he hadn't responded until he was already done on set for the day. By then you had already eaten dinner and you didn't even have time to prep anything for him anyway.

"That's alright love, I was in the mood for shitty takeout anyway." You try to smile but you just scrunch up your mouth instead. All that confidence you had about confronting Tom melts away at the sight of him. He looks a little disheveled, probably just from a long day of work. It seems almost silly now, like bringing up the situation would just annoy him. You decide to bite your tongue and keep it to yourself for now. What's waiting until he has a day off? It wouldn't hurt anything.

Tom looks tired and a little annoyed so you want to be out of his space. "Um, I think I'm just gonna go, I'll let you have some peace and quiet," you say. It was probably nothing, but you wanted to give him his privacy, this was his house after all. "I was just keeping Tessa company anyway."

"You should stay," Tom says abruptly. He doesn't look up from his food, twirling the lo mein around with his fork.

"Are you sure?" You ask, testing the waters. "I don't mind going, I have some homework to do anyway." That was a lie, but if it makes Tom feel better, it made you feel better.

"It was just a long day. The director was really pushing me and I was getting frustrated. It isn't a big deal," Tom explains. He finally looks up at you, the bags under his eyes dark. "You don't have to stay if you don't want to." Tom's eyes are dark and heavy, lids almost swollen. It just now registers that he might've been crying. Frustrated at the very least.

"I know," you say softly, almost whispering. You stop for a minute, looking him up and down. His eyes are trained on his food, his usual cheery demeanor almost entirely absent. He tosses a noodle down and Tessa gobbles it up.

"I'll share my lo mein if you stay," Tom murmurs, finally looking up from his food. You let out a soft chuckle and take a seat next to Tom. He passes over his fork to you and for the first time since he got home, a smile appears on his face. It's a gentle half-smile, but a smile nonetheless. You twirl some noodles onto the fork and bring it to your mouth.

"Do you wanna talk about it?" You ask through a mouthful of noodles.

Tom just shakes his head. "I'd rather hear about what my two girls did today." Tessa's ears perk up at that. She pretends to look to the side away from Tom, pretending like she isn't begging for food.

"Well, it was a pretty relaxed day," you start. "I swam in the pool for a bit and did my homework. Tess tore up another toy." You nod over to the living room, stuffing from the toy littering the ground.

"I'm starting to think you're just using me for my pool," Tom jokes.

"Of course! I don't know what else you thought this was," you joke, hitting his shoulder. "My friend Hannah thinks it's weird, me being at your house all day."

"It is weird," Tom affirms. "It isn't really the most typical of friendships, but I like you, so why not hang out with you instead of being alone? Same goes for Tess, I'm sure she's a lot happier not being alone all day." The statement dances around in your head for a moment. Specifically the word 'friendship' along with 'I like you' storms around in your head. Thomas was good at a lot of things but sending mixed signals was maybe his best talent. "Do you think if I lay on the ground Tess will walk on my back and give me a massage? I'm sore as fuck from stunts today."

"Um," you chuckle, eyebrows scrunched together. "Yeah, I'm not quite sure she's capable of doing that." You let that linger in the air for a moment before blurting out "I could give you a massage, maybe. If you want or whatever?" "Yeah?" He asks, eyes finally meeting yours. "I'll take what I can get."

"Really?" You accidentally blurt. It wasn't like you didn't want to do it but you didn't expect him to actually take you up on it.

"What? Are you too shy?" He cracks. "We've already made out, I hardly think a massage is that scandalous." Your cheeks immediately flush with red, your palms becoming sweaty. This is the first time he's mentioned the make out incident since it happened. He doesn't even look phased as he continues to scarf down the noodles.

"I guess you're right," you hum, fingertips buzzing from the thought of touching Tom. You leave Tom at the island and go back to the living room, Tessa following behind you. You move the coffee table out of the way and set up a blanket and pillow for Tom to lay on.

Tom joins you in the living room, setting his takeout on the coffee table you pushed aside. "Nice set up," he says, examining the space you have laid out. He takes his shirt off and tosses it on to the couch and lays down on the floor on his stomach. Your eyes are like saucers. You had expected this to be a 'through the clothes' kind of massage but you weren't about to ask him to get dressed. You eye him up and down, eyes raking over his back muscles down to the Calvin Klein waistband peeking out from his jeans. Before you even touch him Tessa has gotten up from her bed and is now trying to lick Tom's face off. "Tess!" Tom whines. He gets up and takes her out back, shutting the door so the two of you will be uninterrupted. Tom is back on his stomach so you wordlessly drop to your knees by his side. The tips of your fingers meet his skin, warm and firm. You slowly move your hands up his spine, slowly palming his tense back. You feel him laugh under your hands. "Your hands are so cold, darling," he teases.

"Give it a minute," you say, lightly slapping his back and pretending to hit him. Your hands continue across his shoulders, where he is most tense. Your thumbs dig into the muscle, and Tom moans under you. You dig your thumbs into the same spot again.

"Fuck," he moans again. "You can go harder, I won't break I promise." You weren't exactly trying to be gentle, but it was hard to put your weight into it when you were arched over his side.

"Okay," you start "I just have to...," you trail off as you swing your leg over his waist and you're now straddling him. Tom lets out a soft laugh, but you don't acknowledge it. Now with better leverage, you dig back into his shoulders. Tom's smile is wiped off his face and is replaced with a look of ecstasy as he lets out a long moan.

"Shit," Tom gasps through another moan. "What did you just hit?"

"I guess you have a g-spot in your shoulders." This makes the both of you laugh. You bring your hands down to his shoulder blades and start massaging the muscle that surrounds the area. Tom had some bruising on his back from his stunt work so you didn't want to get too rough with him. Tom moans into the pillow, this time lower and drawn out. "Geez, I hope the neighbors don't hear this, it sounds quite sexual."

"It's better than sex," Tom mutters.

"Oh?"

"Not really, but it's a close second." He turns his head and looks back at you over his shoulder giving you that killer smile. You work your hands lower again, reaching the small of his back. "Am I getting an ass massage too? My glutes are sore from all the running I had to do on set today."

"In your dreams, Holland," you roll your eyes.

"Fine, fine, what about a happy ending?" Tom starts laughing before he can even finish his joke.

"Once again, in your dreams," you tease him, although for a second it crosses your mind that something like that might be in your dreams too. You massage all the way down Tom's back and all the way up to the top again. After about a half hour of massaging Tom, you finally crawl off his back and sit on the floor next to him. Tom's eyes are closed and he's half asleep from the relaxing massage. "Alright, my fingers are about to fall off." Tom slowly flips over onto his back. Your eyes dart to the bulge in his jeans. He isn't totally hard, but he at least has a semi. He doesn't seem to notice or acknowledge it as he rubs his eyes. "What? Only the back side? What about the front?" He teases again.

"You're not getting a happy ending!" You exclaim.

"That isn't even what I meant," Tom says through his grin. "My chest is sore from pull ups and I paid for the full experience!" You shoot him a confused look. "I gave you lo mein, duh."

"Tom, I had like two bites!"

"Yeah! One bite for the back and one for the front!" Tom takes your hand and brings it to his chest.

"Have I told you that you're annoying?" You badger him, caving in to his request. With your hands on his chest, you move your palms in slow circular motions, hands traveling from his chest to his shoulders. You can feel Tom looking at you so you meet his gaze. With Tom facing you everything feels a lot more intimate. You feel every inch of your skin connected to his, the heat radiating from his body to your hands. Tom licks his lips and all you can think about is kissing them again. Before you even know what you're doing you're crawling on top of him and straddling him again. "Um... leverage," is all you can stutter out. Your cheeks are flushed pink but so are Tom's. His eyes travel down your body before slowly grazing back up. Your eyes meet again. Your hands are on his chest, legs around his waist. You're riding him.

Well, sort of. You can feel his bulge pressed against your ass now, straining against his jeans. His hands come up to your waist, taking a firm hold on you. Without a second thought, you bring your face to his, lips crashing again his. Tom captures your bottom lip with his teeth, teasing you before slipping his tongue into your mouth. He traces over your lips before gliding his tongue over yours, flicking against you. Your kisses become needier, filled with lust and desire. Your noses bump together, trying to melt into one another as deep as you can go. Tom pulls your body flush against him, every part of you now rubbing together. Tom's hands explore your back, hands traveling up the back of your shirt. You bring your hands to his face, capturing his strong jaw. Tom consumes you, surrounds you with himself. From his hands on you to his tongue tracing your teeth, you feel yourself falling into him. His breath is warm, spilling into your mouth, his mouth now traveling down your neck. Tom moans against your neck, his guttural groans sending shivers down your spine, you can feel yourself getting wet. You gasp, fingers catching in Tom's hair, slowly grinding your body against his. You bring your lips to his about to press them against his again but then...

Both of you hear a whining followed by a bark. Tessa wants back inside. "She'll be fine," Tom says, his lips returning to your neck.

"No, it's fine, we don't make her stay outside. It's not like there aren't other places we can make out," you say as you get off of him, standing up. "Besides, when was the last time you even vacuumed?"

"Not since I moved in," Tom says as you go to the back door to let Tessa in. She trots into the living room, ignoring Tom and going straight for the lo mein, burying her nose in the takeout container. "Tess!" Tom chides her. "No, nasty!" Tom drags her by the collar away from the food. You can't help yourself but giggle at how things went from you on top of Tom to Tessa stealing his food. "Go on, go put yourself in timeout!" Tessa's head hangs as she slowly walks up the stairs.

"Aw, c'mon Tom she just wanted a bite! Plus you deserve it, you locked her outside."

"Whatever," Tom says as he rolls his eyes, taking his food to the trash can to throw away. Finally, with a moment to breathe, you check your phone. It's nearing midnight and you have some work to get done tomorrow.

"I should probably get going, I have to be up in the morning and it's getting a bit late." Tom looks at you with those puppy dog eyes that he has perfected but all he does is nod. He walks you to the door and gives you a soft kiss on the cheek.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" He asks.

"Yeah, sure," you smile at him before returning the kiss, this time on his lips. "See you tomorrow, Tom."

The next day it was around 7:30 pm and the sun was already beginning to set. After a long day of working from your computer, you were ready to throw in the towel. After taking a bath, you decide to text Tom and ask if he is almost home from set. It isn't until 9:00 pm when he finally responds. Just got home. Come over. Without a second thought, you get dressed and walk over to his house. As soon as your knuckles meet the dark wood of his front door, it opens to Tom's face, brightly lit with a smile. "Miss me?" Tessa comes running out the front door and sniffing at your feet.

"Tessa clearly missed me," you say, flashing a smile back at Tom.

"I missed you more," he says as he moved out of the doorframe and motions for you to come in.

"Were things easier on set today?" After how run down he looked the other day, you were hoping he was still feeling okay after another long day.

"Not too bad. Nothing a genius like me can't handle," he says as he ruffles his hair.

"I guess that explains why your head is so big."

"What!" Tom shouts, cocking his head at you. Tom grabs you around the shoulders and starts messing up your hair.

"I'm kidding, you dork!" You tell him, grabbing a hold of his arm, all too aware of the muscles underneath his soft skin. Tom releases you from his strong grasp. "Your head is perfectly average sized."

"Thank you!"

"Your ego on the other hand," you start. Tom's eyes widen again, ready to lunge at you. "Kidding again!"

"You better be," he jokes, pulling you in close again. This time his hands are wrapped around your waist, head tilted over yours. He brings his face to yours, closing the distance, lips meeting again. So this is what you were now? Intimate. More than friends. Nothing was set in stone, making you all the more nervous. You move your lips against his, falling into his kiss once again. Once you pull away you smile at him, but Tom can tell there's something off about the look on your face. "Is everything okay?" He asks, hands falling off your waist.

"I just... um," you start, shaking your head. "I hate to sound so cliche but what are we?"

"Friends?" Tom says, a confused look on his face. You return the confused look back.

"Just friends?" "Well, um, special friends," Tom clarifies. Clarifies in a way that clarities absolutely nothing. You take a step away from him.

"What does that mean exactly?" You look deep in to Tom's eyes. It's hard to tell what he's thinking.

He's wearing his glasses today making him look cute as ever. His hands are pulled tight by his sides, clearly showing he's a little on edge. "I guess I don't know exactly." Tom leans against the counter, putting a little more space between the two of you. "I just...," Tom trails off. "I can't really be in a relationship right now."

"What? Why?" You demand, the edge in your voice all too clear. You don't mean to sound pushy or even sound angry, but having your emotions toyed with is something you've never put up with. Knowing your worth has always been important to you and you didn't like to play games. You and Tom had been flirty from the start, so there was obviously something between you. In a matter of seconds, every interaction you've had with Tom flies through your head, analyzing everything from mixed signals, missed opportunities, to your especially erotic massage make out session last night. Had you missed something? What weren't you getting? What wasn't Tom getting?

Tom's mouth hangs open for a second as he tries to articulate what he's thinking. The seconds stretch out in front of you, feeling like years. "I'm not gonna be here forever," he starts. "I'm constantly going back and forth between places. In two months, once I'm done with this shoot, I'll be back in London for who knows how long." You feel the ground start shifting under you as Tom talks. Tom, the guy you had been slowly developing feelings for no matter how hard you tried not too. Tom, the guy who was jaw droppingly gorgeous and the sweetest gentleman you've ever met. Tom, the guy who didn't want to date you.

You try to muster up a response but you have no idea what to say. Now it's your turn for your mouth to hang up. "I guess I don't know what to say." "You don't have to say anything," Tom says, closing the distance between you, wrapping his arms around you again. "Why do we even need to have a label on it? Why can't we just enjoy each other's company? I've loved spending time with you and I don't want that to change."

"But...," you start.

"But I just can't have a relationship right now, love." Tom places a kiss on your forehead. I have to be a million places all over the world as soon as press for my next movie starts. It would just make it harder on both of us and I can't do that to you. I can't promise you something when I know it isn't going to work out." You do your best to suppress rolling your eyes. After all this time of being a total gentleman, now he wants to be a fuckboy like every other guy in California? Hannah would definitely be hearing about this later.

"Sure," you say bluntly. You were irritated and you just wanted the conversation to be over. If Tom didn't want a girlfriend then fine, you wouldn't push the envelope, but you wouldn't let him play with your emotions either.

"Please, don't be mad at me-"

"I'm not," you interrupt. "I guess I'm just disappointed. Let's just drop it." You cross your arms and lean against the counter.

Tom crosses his arms too and stays silent for a moment. "I'm sorry," he mumbles. "I can't lead you on I couldn't keep that from you."

"It's fine," you reiterate. "It's whatever. I'm glad you told me." You really were glad he told he told you. Glad you could keep yourself from getting more hung up on him. You uncross your arms to keep yourself from looking too upset. "So what's the plan? Are you making me dinner or do I have to do everything around here?" There was a stillness and a comfort around you. Without worrying about a potential relationship you could just enjoy yourself, right?

Tom cracks a small smile of that, breaking through the troubled look on his face. "How about I buy you takeout instead." You jokingly roll your eyes, making fun of his inability to cook.

Friends. There was nothing wrong with friends. Watching Tom as he grabbed his phone to order food, you thought to yourself that there were plenty more fish in the sea.

"I don't think I'm understanding," Hannah ranted. You texted her as soon as you got back from Tom's and she immediately made plans to come over the next day. Now the two of you were laying in your room listening to music as you so often did before you started spending so much time at Tom's house.

You pull your blanket over your head, groaning into the soft covers. "I don't even know why I got so invested. I'm sorry I haven't been around as much, I shouldn't have let trying to get with Tom take up so much of my time."

"Don't say that!" Hannah asserts. "You're still in desperate need of dick and it doesn't always just come to you, you have to put in work for it sometimes!"

"But I didn't even get any!" You whine. "Besides that wasn't what I was going for! Haven't you ever heard of happily ever after?" "My happily ever after includes me getting good dick." While Hannah is talking you get up from your bed and go over to your bay window, sitting down on the cushions. "His dick isn't even off the table either, hun. I know it isn't exactly what you were hoping for but you don't have to go back to the nunnery just yet." "I think that's called a convent," you tease. Hannah always knew how to make you smile even when you were feeling down. Hannah sits up from the bed and joins you at the window. You look over at Tom's backyard to see him coming outside with a towel, about to go for a swim. "Listen, boys change up like the weather all the time. They never know what they want and they're always changing their minds. It doesn't matter if you and Tom aren't destined to be together, just have some fun." Hannah grabs your hands, pulling you close. "I know you're never satisfied with guys and they're always letting you down, but you've been the happiest hanging out with Tom than you have been in a while. You don't have to totally cut him out just because he's a little bit of a douche. We already knew that hun, he's a guy they're all dicks."

You let out a soft laugh and nod. Hannah had a point. She always did, she was too smart for her own good. "I'm not gonna tell you you're right because you already know you are."

"Of course I'm right, babes," Hannah says as she hugs you. "Have some fun, let loose! You practically wet yourself when you made out with him. It's up to you, hun, do whatever you want. Do you know what you want?"

You look out to Tom's yard and watch as he dives headfirst into the pool. Dating Tom might not be in your future, but there was obviously something between you. Did you know what you wanted?

You took a few days to yourself to think about your situation. Tom had been texting you but your responses were inconsistent and sporadic. He asked you to come over more than once but you told him you were busy or had plans with Hannah, which wasn't technically lying as Hannah had come over for a few nights to watch movies. Now, it was the weekend and you had spent most of the day laying in bed. Tom was at work but you had texted him and asked to come over later. He replied almost instantly with an absolutely. Tom didn't seem to be upset with you even though you pulled had a bit of a disappearing act. He could probably imagine how confused you had been over the past few days. But you weren't confused anymore. Tom was just a boy and you were just a girl. And you were just a girl wanting to let loose.

You found yourself in Tom's living room once more. Tom was on one side of the couch and you were on the other. It had felt a bit awkward since you had come over, but the conversation had been flowing as usual. You had fallen back into your typical poking fun at each other banter and Tom had put on some shitty horror movie. "Why do you always have to put on shitty movies like this, why can't we watch a good one?"

"Well if it's a shitty movie then we can make fun of it. We always end up talking over it anyway," he explains.

"Then why don't you put on music or something, dummy," you tease.

"Fine!" Tom caves in. He turns off the movie and pulls up Spotify on the TV, turning on one of his playlists. "Alright missy, you got your wish, now what do you want to talk about."

"First we can talk about how Chris Evans is so much hotter than you," you joke. Tom tosses a pillow at your face but you smack it out of the way before it hits you. "I'm kidding Mr. Holland, you're the hottest superhero."

"Damn right," Tom says, smile proud on his face. You roll your eyes at that.

Would now be a good time to ask him? runs through your head. You've thought about it for days now, so why pussy out? It's just a few simple words. "Tom, I...," you trailed off.

"Huh?"

"I, um... ," you started again. "Um, do you have any snacks?"

"Oh, uh, yeah," Tom says as he got up from the couch. He disappeared into the kitchen to grab whatever the fuck he thought you wanted. Shit was all you could think. You always froze up at the last second, always too scared to shoot your shot. After a minute, Tom came back with an assortment of snacks. He dropped the pile of snacks on the couch next to you and took a seat on the other side. "Plenty?" Tom asks as he digs his hand into a bag of chips.

"Yeah," you start again. "Actually, um, I meant to ask about the other day." Tom looks up from his chips, mouth full and his loud crunching distracting you. He doesn't interrupt, just keeps looking at you. "About the relationship thing..."

"Hun, I-"

"You're not looking for a relationship," you interrupt him. "That's fine, I know, but... why don't we just... have fun then?" Tom studies your face for a minute. His eyebrows are scrunched together and the look of confusion takes over his face.

"I'm sorry," he starts. "What exactly are you asking?"

Hannah's words fly through your head: just have fun. "Fun, like I said," you say, looking him in the eyes, his tight knit eyebrows slowly coming undone. "No strings attached."

"Friends with benefits?" Tom asks.

"Exactly," you explain. "You don't want a relationship and I don't want to get my feelings hurt. But that doesn't mean I'm not still... attracted to you." Tom keeps his eyes trained on you, watching you as he chews on his bottom lip. "You can say no, I'm just thinking out loud."

"Are you sure?" He asks. You weren't fully sure of yourself, but these days you often weren't. The world kept going even when you were standing still, so what was the point in waiting around to question yourself any longer?

"Yes," you blurt. "We have a good thing going for us already, I mean. And we're both adults with needs so... why not?" The silence hangs in the air for another moment, the atmosphere in the room warm and still. Your hands are clammy and your face is definitely on fire. You weren't often bold like this and it was a new sensation to you.

"Well then... why not?" Tom finally says. "I mean, I'm not exactly sure how to go about this I guess."

You weren't exactly sure how this would go either. Or even how it would start. "We can just let things happen organically and see what happens."

Tom nodded, tossing the bag of chips aside. "So we can make out now?" He looked like an eager kid in a candy store.

You laughed at him and rolled your eyes. "I said organically, Thomas."

After talking to Tom about the new aspects of your friendship, you decided to turn the shitty horror movie back on to fill the silence while you retreated into your thoughts. It was hard to tell what Tom was thinking and it made you more nervous that he might be thinking this was a bad idea. He seemed excited enough, but your doubts had a way of getting the better of you. You were so shrouded in your thoughts you hadn't even noticed the movie was over. "Not as shitty as the last one but still pretty shitty," Tom commented.

"I get to pick the movie next time," you declared.

Tom laid down on the couch, using your lap as a pillow. "My taste is immaculate, don't be jealous." You rolled your eyes at that one. "Have I ever told you how gorgeous you are?"

"I think so. Every night before I go to bed you tell me I'm gorgeous and the most important woman in the world," you pester him.

"No, that's Tess," he says laughing.

"Whatever," you roll your eyes.

"You are gorgeous though," he says again. "I know I've put you in a complicated situation and all, but you're the fittest girl I've ever met. You're stunning and you're way smarter than me."

"Clearly," you tease him again.

"And I'm not just complimenting you to get in your pants, I really mean it," Tom says. "I just... are you really sure about this?" Tom looks into your eyes. His eyes are soft in gentle. Everything about him is soft and gentle. He's so sweet and compassionate and caring that you start to feel your doubts melt away. Maybe you weren't making the right decision, but it was a decision that still made you happy. You push him off your lap and force him to sit up. Before he can say anything else, you press your lips against his. It's softer than your last kiss, this one more gentle and subdued. Your lips move in sync, pushing into one another, slow and passionate like you have all the time in the world. Tom runs his hands through your hair, pulling you into him.

Tom pulls back for a second to look at you. "Is this okay?" He asks, voice heavy with desire. You nod your head and lean back in, lips meeting his again. You deepen this kiss this time, slipping your tongue into his mouth. Tom's breathing is getting heavier by the second as the kiss becomes more intense. His hands find your waist, pulling you closer until he has you in his lap. You wrap your arms around his neck as you straddle him. Your tongue slides against his, teeth clashing as the kiss becomes sloppier. Tom pulls away again, this time his lips shiny and starting to redden from your lips hungrily attacking each other. "Should we take this upstairs?" His voice is low and gruff, saturated with lust. You try your best to formulate words but all you can is nod your head.

Tom leads you up the stairs. He brings you to his bedroom, which you haven't been in since the first night you came to Tom's house. He closes the door behind you and dims the lights, giving the room a soft, sensual glow. Tom backs you up against the edge of the bed and you let yourself fall back onto it. Tom crawls on top of you, kissing up your neck as he comes back to your lips.

Your hands find their way under his shirt, slowly traveling up his back. Tom breaks to kiss to take his shirt off, pulling it over his head. You watch as his abdomen muscles ripple as he moves before his mouth is all over yours again. You can already feel the heat building between your legs, the wetness forming as your desire for Tom burns like a wildfire. He kisses back down your neck to your collarbone until his lips meet the fabric of your shirt. "Can I take it off you?" He asks, looking up at you. His puppy dog eyes now taking a different form, something more raw and needy.

You sit up as Tom grabs the hem of your shirt, pulling it over top of your head. "I don't think I've ever told you how great your tits are," Tom teases.

"Shut up," you laugh, shaking your head at him. You unclasp your bra, letting it slide off your shoulders. Tom's mouth practically gapes at the sight of your bare breasts.

"Wow," is all he can muster. You giggle at him as you back your way to the top of the bed, Tom following right behind you. With you on your back, he crawls between your legs, wrapping them around his waist. He slowly grinds his body against yours and you can feel his erection through his sweatpants. You palm his bulge, feeling the harness through the fabric. Tom moans into your mouth as his tongue meets yours again, warm breaths exchanged between you. Tom begins to slide down, his bare skin against yours as he goes. He kisses a trail down your neck before choosing a spot to slowly lick and caress with his tongue, gently sucking in a way that will be sure to leave a mark. His hands find your breasts, taking a handful and slowly rubbing them and creating friction against your nipples. A gentle moan leaves your lips, giving Tom the green light to let him know that you love what he's doing. After he's satisfied with the mark he's left on your neck he lowers his face to your tits, his tongue finding the nipple. Tom gently begins to suck and graze his teeth of your sensitive nipples, now hard from Tom's work. This time you let out a louder moan, knotting your fingers into Tom's hair as his warm, wet tongue focuses on your erogenous zone. Tom moves to the other side, his tongue lashing at the tender skin, driving you crazy before you're even fully undressed.

"Fuck, Tom," you let out a breathy moan. He looks up at you, nipple in his mouth and lets out a low moan. You bite your lip at the sexy sight of him. While Tom is still working on you, you start to wiggle out of your pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them with one hand. Tom notices you struggling and helps slide them off of you. With his warm mouth gone, the cold air hits your skin where he has left it wet with his tongue.

With your pants gone, you're left only in your underwear, and Tom looks captivated by the sight. "You're so fucking sexy, love," Tom practically moans. He positions his head between your thighs and kisses each one, licking his way back up. His mouth meets the fabric of your panties and he lets out a hot breath that breaks through the thin fabric. By now you're practically soaked from anticipation, desperately aching to feel his tongue on you. Tom hooks his fingers across the fabric, moving it to the side without taking them off. He licks a tantalizing slow strip up your slit, his tongue finding it's way between your slit, enveloping him in your heat. "So fucking wet for me," he moans against you. Tom's mouth feels like heaven against you, his soft lips rubbing against you, his tongue working it's way in and out of you, gliding up and down your slit. Tom grabs your ass, slightly lifting you off the bed to slide your panties down to your ankles. He spreads your legs as far apart as he can before his head finds it's place between your legs again. His lips wrap around your clit, slowly licking against the nub before grazing his teeth against it. You involuntarily gasp for air and moan, throwing your head back against the pillow as your hips buck up against his tongue. You look back down to watch Tom as he gently assaults your clit with his tongue, eyes trained on you. "Keep your eyes on me," Tom murmurs against you.

"O-okay," you manage to get out between moans. It had been a while since a guy had gone down on you but this was already a million times better than you had ever had before. Tom lets out a gentle puff of air onto your sensitive, throbbing clit. You struggle to keep your eyes open, watching Tom as he expertly works every inch of you. Your hand finds it's way to his hair again, your fingers threading through his hair, keeping his head in place. Tom's head is moving up and down now, his tongue traveling over your soaked folds. Tom has one hand on your thigh keeping you spread open as he moves the other one to hover over your clit. As his head moves down further, his thumb takes the place of his tongue, now rubbing your clit in circles.

Tom moans against you again, sending deep vibrations into you that you feel in your core. "You taste so fucking good," he groans.

"Please, fuck, please," you moan. "More." Your hips are slowly bucking in rhythm with his tongue, your juices flowing from how turned on you are. "Fuck," you gasp. "Please... fingers." Tom wordlessly responds. He lifts his head up spitting onto your opening, saliva and your juices dripping from his lips. It's messy and sloppy and probably the hottest thing you've ever seen. Tom uses his spit and your wetness to easily slide his index finger inside you. "Fucking hell," you gasp. You sit up on your elbows to get a better view of Tom as his tongue travels back to your clit, as he buries a second finger inside you. "Tom, fuck!" You cry out. Tom curls his fingers inside you, pumping them in and out, quickly picking up the pace. The faster he goes, the more stars that start to appear in your vision. "Tom, I'm getting close," you warn. You feel your body begin to get warm all over, that pit of pleasure building in your stomach. Tom begins to pick up the pace of his fingering, his tongue lapping aggressively at your clit, swirling around it and gently biting it. "Fuck, fuck!" You scream as your body starts to fall to pieces. You feel your orgasm wash over you, starting in the pit of your stomach and reaching all the way to the tips of your toes and back up. A sob escapes your throat as your toes curl and the orgasm finished wracking through your body. "Holy shit, Tom, where'd you learn to do that?"

"Practice," he says, flashing that cheeky smile at you. Although this time he has your juices drenching his lips and chin. Tom comes up from beneath your legs, planting a wet kiss on your lips. You can taste yourself on his lips but that seems to only turn you on more.

You pull away and give him a devilish grin. "My turn?"

"You're naughty," he teases. "But absolutely," Tom crawls off of you and falls beside you on his back, putting a pillow behind him to prop himself up. His hard on is still raging through his sweatpants, a small patch of precum leaking through the grey fabric. Fuck, his bulge looks big. You run your hand across his bulge, palming at his hard member. Tom hooks his thumbs over his waistband and slides his sweatpants down, cock smacking against his stomach as it jumps out from his underwear. His cock is long and hard, precum dripping from the tip. His cock is red and straining, throbbing from how excited he is. Without hesitation, you grab his cock, slowly pumping the thick meat. You rub your thumb against the head, spreading the precum over it and dragging it down his shaft. "Fuck, baby," Tom moans, head falling back against the headboard. You tease his cock, jerking him off at a tantalizingly slow pace, letting the tension build.

After teasing him with your hand, you bring your mouth down to the head of his cock and flick your tongue against it. Tom lets out a breathy moan and tangles his fingers into your hair, pushing your head down with a bit of force. You take the head into your mouth, tongue finding the sensitive spot under the tip. Tom's cock was already hard but you felt it grow rock hard in your mouth, his pre cum leaking into your mouth now, hot and salty. You bob your head up and down, opening your throat up for him. "Your mouth feels so fucking good," Tom pants, thrusting his hips up into your mouth. You grab his balls, slowly tugging at them and working them around with your fingers until his cock is buried entirely down your throat. Tears escape your eyes but you keep yourself from gagging, pulling off his cock. You lick a stripe up his shaft and back down, taking a second to play with his balls in your mouth, tongue traveling around his sack. You take his cock down into your mouth again and he thrusts up into your throat. Tom pushes you down further onto his cock, fucking your mouth. You gag a couple of times before you get the hang of it, but once you do Tom is thrusting into your throat with ease.

Tom's breathing is heavy and labored as he breaks out into a sweat. He raises up his hand, bringing it down on your ass, causing a loud smack, leaving a red hand print on your ass. "Open your legs for me, baby," he commands. You do as he says and he leans forward so he can reach you, his long fingers finding their way in your slit again. He collects your wetness and brings it to your mouth. You open up for him and taste yourself on him, your tongue dancing around his fingers. You moan onto his fingers before he pushes you back down onto his cock again. He leans forward again, this time his fingers meeting your entrance, sliding into you to the knuckle. He fingers you fast and rough, the sounds of your wetness turning him on even more.

"I can't take it any longer I need to be inside you now," Tom demands, standing up on the bed as you pull off of his cock. "Get on your hands and knees." You do as he says, positioning yourself on the edge of the bed. He gets on his knees, his face in line with your dripping pussy. He buries his face in it, tongue licking it's way through your folds, making you gasp and scream with pleasure.

"Fuck!" You moan, burying your face into his duvet. "Tom, it feels so fucking good!" As you're gasping into the pillow, Tom gets up from his knees and lines the head of his cock up with your entrance, slapping his head against your soaked folds. You bite your lip and push your hips back against him, begging to feel the fullness of his cock inside you. 

Tom teases you with his cock, holding your hips in place, making you wait and beg for him to give you what you want. "You want more?" All you can muster is a moan as you push against him harder. He slides the head inside you, slowly opening up your entrance. "So fucking tight."

"Oh, fuuuck!" You cry out, mouth hanging open as he slides another inch inside. He slides in until he's halfway in and you can feel yourself stretching around him, the heat of your tight walls adjusting to his size. "Tom, please," you hiss. "More, please." Tom adheres to your begs, sliding in the rest of his cock with a quick, hard stroke, balls slapping against you. "Ah, fuck, Tom!" You moan, gasps and hisses falling from your mouth. You try to form a sentence, tell him you love it, tell him it feels fucking amazing, tell him his cock is bringing you the most pleasure you've ever felt, but all you can muster is garbled moans and cries.

Tom starts pumping in and out of you, faster and faster, his hips slapping against yours. You can feel his cock throbbing inside you, his rhythm steady and consistent as he fills you up. Tom grabs you by the hair and pulls you up, your bodies flush against each other. He buries his face in your neck, licking and sucking on the mark he already left on you, the skin still sensitive from the earlier assault. Tom's hand travels down to your now easily accessible clit, his index and middle finger rubbing in circles in time with the rhythm of his thrusts. "You're so fucking wet... dripping down my cock," Tom grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell, your pussy was made for me."

Tom pulls out of you and spins you around then pushes you back on the bed. He crawls between your legs and lifts them onto his shoulders, centering his cock with your entrancing and sliding his entire length back into with a resounding thrust. "Fuck!" You cry out, grabbing hold of his arms, feeling the veins that wrap around his muscles under the soft skin. Tom immediately picks the pace back up, the bed squeaking and shaking from the ferocity of his fucking.

"Play with yourself, I wanna see you touch your clit while I'm fucking you," Tom orders. Your hand flies down to your clit, fingers toying with yourself. It feels even better with him inside you, every thrust sending a shockwave to your core.

You throw your head back, letting your body succumb to the pleasure. "Tom! Fuck I can't...," you trail off. You try to warn Tom that he's getting you close, bringing you closer to the edge with every thrust, but the pleasure has left you unable to form words. Tom brings your legs down from his shoulders and wraps them around his waist. Tom lays his body across yours, bare skin rubbing against bare skin, gliding over the other from sweat. Tom wraps one arm behind your head, bringing your face together, lips meeting as he buries his cock deep inside you, the head rubbing against your sweet spot as he slowly grinds his hips against yours, hitting that spot deep inside you over and over. "Tom!" You moan into his mouth. You feel the pressure building in your stomach each time he buries himself deeper. You grab his hand from your waist and push it to your clit, begging him to give you your release. Tom gets the memo and starts to rub your clit in circles with the rough pad of his thumb.

"Such a dirty girl for me," he moans into your mouth. You feel your body start to convulse. You grab on to his shoulders, your walls closing in around him. Tom picks up the pace of his thrusting, burying his cock as deep inside you as he can, working on your clit harder, collecting your wetness on his fingers to use on your clit.

"Tom," you gasp. "Fuck, don't stop!" Your hips buck and your legs shake, Tom hitting your sweet spot as you feel the pressure release. The pleasure washes over you, your mouth hanging open as guttural moans escape your mouth. You close your eyes, stars swirling around your vision as you feel your orgasm reaching it's peak. Tom knows what he's doing to you and he's loving every second, feeling your walls tighten on his cock, feeling your body shake in his hands as he pushes you over the point of no return. You buck your hips onto his cock, riding out the waves of your orgasm as you start coming down.

Tom gives you a few more thrusts before he grunts in your ear, his thrusts becoming short and hard as his body tenses up. He lets out a final groan before his pulsing cock begins to spurt his ribbons of cum inside you, holding your hips steady as he realizes inside you. "Fuck!" He grunts through gritted teeth. "Fucking hell," he moans, pumping inside you, his spent cock throbbing and twitching, fucking the cum out of you, letting it drip from your opening. Tom's mouth meets yours again, tongues intertwining as you pant and moan into each other's mouths, hardly able to move from how spent the both of you are.

Breathing heavy, the air hot and sticky, Tom is the first to break the post-orgasm silence. "I can't even remember the last time I came that hard," he smiles, breaking out into a laugh.

You bury your head into your hands, hiding your face from him. "So we really did that, huh?" You peek out through your fingers to see him flash that cheeky grin at you. You start laughing and shaking your head. "Such a dork."

"A dork who made you cum harder than you ever have before," he teases, leaving one final kiss to your neck. You roll your eyes at that, even though it was the truth.

Tom gets up from the bed to grab a towel from the bathroom. He turns on the shower before coming back, placing a towel beside you. "So," he starts. "Again tomorrow?"

"Obviously," you giggle, flashing him a devilish smile. Oh boy, what had you gotten yourself into?

Taglist: @hollanddolanfangirl​ @quaksvn​ @fandom-phaser​ @hollands-osterfield​ @evanssgi​ @happytsholland​ @lu-morningstar​ @ilivefortomhholland​ @quaksonhehe​ @ninjassassin13​ @softholand​ 

[profmori]

;Daiharu au 💴🌸💎

Summary : Haru Kato overworked himself as usual and Daisuke is trying to take care of him.

Note : yeh! first tumblr fic, let's get it ✨😗✌️

Haru sometimes hated his job.

Or rather he hated his strong sense of justice, which made him constantly push his boundaries to do what was right. Most of the first division members usually shied out when he asked them for help, and no way in the world he could go to Daisuke Kambe for the same.

Everyone tells him to lay off multiple times but he doesn't needs them to take care of him, damn it.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

Haru fell back in his chair, making the rusty old thing creek in protest. Everyone turned around to witness his loud and grumpy arrival, probably testing the waters before making a move. He paid them little to no attention, knowing he'll lash out otherwise.

The board gave him a hard time, the first division gave him a hard time, Daisuke blew him off like nothing and then Cho-san yelled at him --- Haru straight up wasn't having the best day. Now the last thing he needed was more people pestering him.

Luck, however, wasn't on his side.

The phone on his table starting ringing the moment Haru got comfortable in his chair, the loud sound made the headache double up a few notches. Haru tsked and picked up the receiver, putting it against his ear.

“yes?”

“Oh my god!” the lady at the other end screamed. “Pleass hurry there has been a robbery at my store, everything is wrecked.”

Haru tried to hide his sigh. “Please stay calm and tell me your address. Don't be alone in the house, as it might be dangerous and don't touch anything until help arrives.”

The lady hurried up with details as much as she could while simultaneously sobbing into the speaker, somewhere in the distance was a dog barking at her. Haru kept down the receiver and turned to Kamie, holding up the slip of paper with the address on it.

“There has been a robbery, can you go and see to it?” Haru asked, waiting patiently as the other completed typing on his computer. Kamie looked up with a guilt ridden smile, rubbing the back of his neck as he fumbled for an answer.

“You see, I've been dead tired after all the cardio you put me through---”

“Nevermind.” Haru cut in,“I'll take care of it myself.”

Haru stood up rather fast, making his head go blank for a solid second. He managed to hold himself up just before he could fall forward, the sudden movement causing the table to shake with impact and catch everyone's attention.

“Are you okay?” Mahoro asked, her hand stopped midway with a candy between her fingers. The pink haired officer gave him a worried look. “Would you liked this limited addition candy?”

“I'll pass.” Haru waved his hand and went out of the office lounge, momentarily leaned against the wall to regain his left over energy --- only god knew how worse the robbery was going to be, he needed to get every bit of patience and energy to deal with it.

Once sure that he wasn't going to collapse, Haru shrugged on his jacket and went to the crime scene.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

“Ah Kambe-san.” Kamie called out as Daisuke entered the room, the millionaire gave him a nod and went over to his desk. The inspector pulled Daisuke down to talk quietly into his ear.

“Is there a problem?” Daisuke asked, his voice even like it always have been. Kamie felt himself shiver at the calculated coldness in his eyes, he has to shake his head to get back on his tongue.

“Did something happen with Haru and you?”

Daisuke stared at him for a long moment, eyebrows lightly scrunched in concentration. Then he simply shook his head in denial, making Kamie sigh in confusion. He was well aware of Haru's habits of pushing himself too far, but there was no way you could stop him from doing so.

“Could you please go and check on him then?” Kamie asked with a requested smile, pressing his hands in a prayer position and ducked his head. “I'm afraid he might pass out or something.”

“Okay.” Daisuke said and straightened up, fixing his suit as he exited the lounge for second time this day. “HEUSC track Haru Kato's location.”

“The location has been found.”

Daisuke got in his car and glanced over to the screen, a map displayed in front of him with a green dot blinking inside a cafe. He got the car in ignition and put it on the road the moment it's engine roared.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

“Ehhh . . . what do you mean it wasn't a robbery?”

The woman in front of him laughed in embarrassment, a blush spread across her pale cheeks. Beside her, in a vile grip was a child yelling at her to let go, probably the culprit of the robbery. She bowed to Haru while winding up apologies, forcing the kid down with a hand pressed on his head.

“S-Sorry inspector, my son and his friends created a ruckus before I opened the cafe. I panicked and thought it was a robbery.”

“Are you sure everyone in safe here?” Haru asked; Except for the kid obviously, he thought but knew better than to voice it, his mouthy self already got him in trouble multiple times, he didn't want anything more.

“Yes inspector, our apologies for the inconvenience.” She said again and forced the son to say sorry as well, which Haru just accepted with a laugh. He then nodded to the lady and made his way out of the cafe, yawning as he started walking back to the office, his body however was screaming for him to rest.

Haru stopped as a sleek black car pulled up next to him, a colour and design he was all to familiar with now. The door opened with a smooth motion, inside seated was Daisuke with his usual bored expression, the one that seriously ticked him off.

“Oi Kambe, what are you doing here?”

“I was told to pick you up.” He replied monotonously,“Please get in the car before the traffic rolls up.”

Haru didn't want to be anywhere near Daisuke right now but he found himself rushing over inside the car and sighing once he was able to shut himself in the silent atmosphere. He may not admit out loud but Daisuke's car was more comfortable than his bed --- soft seats, warmth and his rich perfume. Haru instantly felt like he was going to fall asleep, and that would have been embarrassing.

“So what makes you come here?” he decided to ask instead.

“I was told to pick you up.”

“And you agreed?”

“Yes.” Haru didn't expect him to say anything more to so he just let it drop, but Daisuke cleared his throat and continued. “And I owed you an apology.”

Haru was in no mood for having that conversation so he just shrugged it off and let his eyes stay fixed outside the window, looking at nothing in particular. Daisuke waited for an answer before he decided better than to question him further.

“Are you tired?” Daisuke asked as he killed the engine and Haru shook his head, hurrying out of the car before he could seriously fall asleep. He shut the door to cut off any further complaints, making his way back to the office and hopefully avoiding Daisuke any further. Thankfully, the conversation never came up again, not until the shutting time atleast.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

“Haru are you sure you're staying back?”

“Yeah I need to write the report for today.”

“Okayy, bye!” everyone cheered as the hurried out of the office, glad that the day was finally over. Haru watched them leave, wincing when the door shut loudly after the departing crowd.

He let his head fall on the table and groaned. The cursor blink on the empty sheet of the word document, waiting to be worked on; problem was Haru's lack of motivation, he couldn't even lay it off with the board monitoring him and finding all the ways to pick more mistakes on him. It would he easier on their pockets if they could cut more of pay --- and with the deadline for his rent, a pay cut was the last thing he needed right now.

So with the last bit of energy left in him, Haru rolled his sleeved his sleeves up and got to work.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

Daisuke stared at the empty cup holder and realized that he left his wallet in the office, he killed the engine and got off the car. The last bit of left workers nodded as they moved past him, rushing out to go back home. He wasn't half surprised to find Haru bend over his computer and typing sluggishly, his eye bags reached on the floor and casted a dark edge to his golden eyes.

“Kamie? . . . no Kambe." He mumbled his words,"What are you doing here?"

“I left my wallet.”

Haru nodded and went back to typing, taking a sip out of coffee which was most likely cold by now. As Daisuke crossed him, he could see Haru shivering in his seat and having trouble to get a better grip of his coffee. He watched him struggle.

“You need to rest.” Daisuke said.

“As if the guy who threw up off the bridge would care.” Haru replied and then his words turned quiet. “Nobody cares.”

“huh?”

Haru send him a simple shrug and got to work again, mumbling as he typed, backspacing more and actually writing something. Daisuke then turned his head and spoke into the ear piece.

“HEUSC type the report for the incident today.”

“Command in processor. Estimate completion time in 10 minutes.”

“Let's go--- Haru!” Daisuke grabbed him just in time, saving him from hitting his head on the table edge. Haru groaned and fell against Daisuke's torso, eyes barely open and sweat pooled over his eyebrows; despite the obvious temperature rise, he was shivering. “Come with me.”

“I'm fine!” he said, words mingled into each other. “Just a little bit---”

“You just passed out.” Daisuke removed his glove and pressed his hand against Haru's forehead, feeling it burning under his cool skin. Haru straightened himself up, pressing a firm hand against Daisuke's torso too keep him at the arm length.

“I said I'm fine.” he said,“If I don't complete this by today, they'll probably fire me. Unlike you some people are limited on their resources Kambe.”

“I told HEUSC to do it for you.” He replied,“For now just come with me.”

“Why? Give me a reason.”

“To apologize.” He said without missing a beat .

“What for?”

“For everything.” Daisuke said.

Haru could only stare. He wanted to say no and deal with himself, since Daisuke also did the same. The last thing he wanted was to become a burden on someone who refused his help.

He was a burden.

Denial almost went past his mouth but stopped when Daisuke reached out and grabbed his hand, his fingers cold against Haru's wrist. The millionaire's face was stoic as ever but his words were soft.

“Haru . . come with me.”

Seemed like he wasn't getting anywhere with denial tonight.

. . . . 💴🌸💎

continues part two

[justapotatonow]

Sunshine boy ch.4

Summary: Lucas and Y/n have been best friends for a long time, so what will happen when there's trouble in paradise and a new person enters their lives.

Masterlist

Your week couldn't go by faster. You were eagerly awaiting Saturday when you could finally hang out with Jungwoo again. It was currently Thursday and Lucas had texted you if you two could meet up today. You agreed because you hated fighting with him and you wanted to make things right again.

You noticed Lucas waiting outside of your last class for the day. He was looking as handsome as ever even if he was only in a simple hoodie and jeans. The walk to the car was silent but once you got to the coffee shop Lucas picked out, you guys started talking more and you didn't want to ruin the atmosphere by mentioning that Jungwoo works here.

"Soo I noticed you've been hanging out with that guy a lot recently, something serious?"

"Uh, well I don't know I mean he is really cute and we text a lot. We're actually going on a date on Saturday." you said blushing slightly.

"Really? I don't know what you see in him he's not even that handsome. Compared to me of course." he said, not knowing that you were talking about two different guys. Ever since Lucas saw you with Jaehyun walking out of class together, laughing and giving each other compliments, he's assumed that Jaehyun was your new 'boyfriend'. Lucas also noticed that you've been sitting next to Jaehyun in classes. But what he doesn't understand, is that you and Jaehyun became friends and since he was the only one in your class who doesn't talk about the next party you should "absolutely go to" or about his latest hook up, he was the best choice to sit next to.

"Oh my god, are you jealous? That's adorable."

"Shut up" he said jokingly, but he wished you would talk like that about him, deep down he knew that it would never happen.

You sighed. "I missed you a lot. Like, I'm gonna get corny about it a lot."

He laughed, a sound you haven't heard in a while. "Fine by me honey."

Just a few meters away Jungwoo was watching the scene and feeling a little jealous, even though he knew that he had no right to feel like that. I mean you weren't his girlfriend. Not yet anyway. He smiled dreamily at the thought.

"Also, is that my hoodie?" Lucas' voice interrupted Jungwoos thoughts, and he glanced at your oversized hoodie.

"Uhh, maybe? I can give it back if you need it"

"Nah it's fine, you look better in it anyway" you smiled at him and giggled. A few minutes later you walked out of the cafe laughing together, which left a bitter taste in Jungwoos mouth.

Later that evening Jungwoo returned to the apartment his parents were renting for him while he studied to take over the family business once his parents aren't able to do that.

"Hey Jungwoo, how was work?" Jaehyun asked. He also lived in the apartment because both their families were close and they trusted their sons to live together and not cause any chaos in the remarkably large and expensive apartment.

"It was fine I guess. Is there anything to eat? I'm starving."

"First of all, yes there's takeout in the fridge and second of all, what's wrong? You seem down."

"Lucas and Y/n were in the cafe today," he said, grabbing the food from the fridge. "they were laughing and she was wearing his sweater and i-" he sighed " I know its wrong for me to feel jealous, they're just friends and she's not even my girlfriend."

"Dude there's nothing wrong with feeling jealous. You just need to know that she really likes you. And she told me that she'd never date a guy like

Lucas."

"Really?"

"Yeah. And you have the opportunity to plan the perfect date for Saturday. So, what did you have in mind?"

"Well, I thought about going to dinner and then to go see a movie?"

"You fool. It should be special, not just dInNeR aNd a mOvIe, what are you? A basic bitch? No, you should take her to dance class or something. She used to dance when she was younger."

"How do you even know tha-" Jaehyun shushed him "Don't question my methods. Then you're gonna take her to dinner and afterwards, you'll go stargazing. I already checked the weather, it's supposed to be perfect for stargazing"

"You really planned this out didn't you?"

"Obviously. My best friend is going on a date! How often does that happen?" he added with a laugh "but seriously, you both like each other, and I'm not gonna let you mess it up because you're shit at planning dates."

"Thanks, Jaehyun. I appreciate it."

"No problem" he smiled "but just so you know, the guys and I are gonna spy on you two." he quickly said and rushed into his room, giggling like a schoolgirl.

"juNG JAEHYUN GET BACK HERE!"

The next day Jungwoo was getting ready for his shift at the cafe when suddenly his phone rang. He saw his mums face pop up on the screen and he contemplated whether he should pick up or not.

"Hello mum"

"Hello Jungwoo, how's the apartment? Isn't it great? Jaehyuns father found it."

"The apartment is very nice. Thank you."

"Well, that is fantastic. I wanted to invite you to dinner this Sunday. Jaehyun can come too of course. Unless you have someone else to bring,,?" Jungwoo has heard this question ever since he was a teenager. He was never the one for dating. He's never even had a real girlfriend before. But he's had enough of his parents pestering him about a girlfriend.

"Actually, yes I do want to bring someone."

"Another friend of yours? You know I've always liked Johnny." Yeah. For his parents' money.

"No mum I want to bring my girlfriend."

"Oh? Well wow, I'm excited to meet her." The shock in his mother's voice was evident.

"She's looking forward to it as well. Now goodbye mother I have,, classes to attend. I'll see you on Sunday."

"Very well, I'll see you and your girlfriend then."

This is bad. Really bad. Why did he tell her he had a girlfriend? He didn't have any female friends to pretend to be his girlfriend. I mean except for Y/n.

"What's got you so worked up?" Jaehyun asked.

"Well, my mother just invited us to dinner on Sunday."

"Oh, that's not so bad is it."

"Yep. But I kinda uh I kinda told her I had a girlfriend.."

"whY"

"I don't knOW"

"Well good luck finding one in two days"

"I mean unless I ask Y/n..."

"Dude do you know how weird that is? 'Hi yeah I know we just had our first date but come meet my paRENTS'".

"Oh cmon I can try."

"Sure. But Ten still has his Halloween wig, so if Y/n says n- bitch oW" Jaehyun shouted as he was hit with a pillow.

"It'll work. You'll see."

"Yeah sure. Now go or you'll be late for your shift."

"Shit you're right. See you later!" he said running out the door.

[words-writ-in-starlight]

hi, it's the adhd anon again. according to the dsm-v, i think i have it, which is weird bc i've never seen myself as having more trouble than others. (my grades are better than almost anyone else in my grade.) (although that might just be bc i'm interested in what's being taught - when something's not interesting or too hard, i have a pretty hard time doing it.) anyway, if it's not too much trouble, what does feel like to stim/hyperfixtate for you? (i'm so sorry to bother you in advance)

Hey, dude, welcome back!  So, okay, first things first: the stereotype of someone with ADHD automatically doing terribly in school is based heavily on the original diagnostic criteria, which categorized ADHD strictly in terms of “young hyperactive white boy who has violent outbursts and/or disciplinary problems and Just Doesn’t Do Well in academics.”  And there are people who manifest ADHD like that, it’s a stereotype with roots in reality--a lot of people with ADHD either consistently struggle with academics or eventually reach a point where their previous focusing techniques fail them.

However.

I left high school for college two years early, and if I hadn’t, I would probably been valedictorian of the graduating class, because I had a GPA well above 4.0 due to my general habit of doing extra credit whenever it was offered.  In college, I had a reputation for turning in beautifully complete lab reports and essays five pages over the minimum requirement.  I got high honors on my thesis, graduated magna cum laude, and finished a pre-medical major in half the recommended time period.  When I was a kid, the phrase “savant syndrome” got thrown around a lot, to give you some context.

On the other hand, I manifest a lot of those stereotypical ADHD symptoms: I’m loud, I interrupt people a lot, I have erratic and overwhelming mood swings that I struggle to control, I fidget incessantly and can’t stand silence, I have a tendency to get destructive when I’m angry, I have managed to seriously injure myself because I couldn’t resist a stupid impulse more than once, and if we’re all being honest, I would never have graduated high school at all, because I was on the brink of expulsion for getting into fights during class periods.  

It’s easy to feel like “I never really struggled academically” is somehow a counterargument to any and all symptoms of ADHD that you might manifest, but it’s really not.  (Heck, sometimes ADHD is even helpful--I finished my thesis a full week before anyone else and had time to fix my citations, mostly because my ADHD responds well to pressure and that crunch time hyperfocus Had My Back.)  It might take time for you to come to terms with this idea, and that’s okay!  But try to at least consider it.

All that being said, I am actually gonna answer your question, I just got distracted because the amount of time I spent making the statement “I’m faking having ADHD because I did well in school” is mindblowing and I have a Thing about it.  Forgive my ramble.

Stimming: I’m going to answer this first because the answer is going to be the most useless.  The ways I stim tend to be vocal/auditory stuff (I talk a lot when I’m alone, I sing and play music when I’m doing menial tasks, if I’m really anxious I’ll hum a single note until I calm down) or tactile stuff (sometimes destructive things like scratching my arms, sometimes neutral stuff like tapping my fingers in specific patterns or rubbing my palms over my jeans or the leather of a jacket or something).  It’s mostly things that ‘pass’ for neurotypical with very few exceptions, because I trained myself out of a lot of my ‘non-passing’ stims (rocking back and forth, knocking into walls, hand-flapping, that sort of thing) really young.  As for what it feels like to stim, it’s just...good.  It’s sort of like the brain equivalent of running your hand the right way along velvet, and discovering that you’ve been rubbing it backwards all along.  Or like the equivalent of stepping into a cool shower on a really hot day--it’s not that it’s miserable outside the shower, it’s just that the shower is extremely good.  I have a playlist of music that, for whatever reason, hits the right combination of voice and rhythm and notes and words to make my brain suddenly get calm, and it’s not necessarily my favorite music or a cohesive collection of tunes or anything (featuring Six Shooter by Coyote Kisses and also Human by Rag’n’Bone Man, which have nothing in common), but it’s Good.

Hyperfocus: You didn’t actually mention this, but I think it’s worth mentioning because it’s one of the hallmarks of ADHD.  It bears more than a passing resemblance to the concept of “flow”, but turned up to 11.  Hyperfocus is the state of being so overwhelmingly tuned in to the thing you’re currently doing that everything else falls away--which is fine, unless you’re one of us folks who can hyperfocus ourselves right through meal times.  It’s inexorable, it’s all-consuming, and it can feel pretty fucking great, which is why it’s important to be careful and find a way to hydrate yourself.  The primary difference between hyperfocus and flow is that hyperfocus is generally involuntary and does not necessarily tune you into something you planned or wanted to pay attention to.  If you ever see me publish a fic that includes a note about “I didn’t mean to write this but it’s 2 AM so here”, that’s code for “please validate me, I’ve been hyperfocused on this for two or three hours and I failed to do a lot of important things as a result.”  The other thing about hyperfocus is that afterwards, the drop coming off it is a real bitch.  It leaves me feeling hollowed out, exhausted, and kind of pettily disinterested in anything that would usually hold my attention.  Being hyperfocused is like being a machine designed to do one thing and one thing only and doing that thing feels incredible; coming off hyperfocus is like being an overtired toddler.

Hyperfixation: Hyperfixations are the ADHD equivalent of a special interest, aka: that thing you’ve been struggling not to pester every single person you know about, every single second of every single day of the past two and a half weeks.  Were you around, dear anon, when this blog was Only Animorphs, All The Time, and if you didn’t give a shit about morphin’ teens you just had to sit down, shut up, and learn some stuff, or else unfollow me?  That’s what hyperfixating looks like.  Sometimes it’s useful stuff--do you know how unbelievably useful having a hyperfixation on triage techniques is to me?  I crushed my triage training, I owned that shit, I wrote a whole chapter of my thesis on it.  Other times, it’s...well, Animorphs.  Or the American Revolution.  Or X-Men.  Or dinosaurs.  Some random shit like that.  Learning about hyperfixations, talking about them, is generally pure unadulterated joy.  On the other hand--oh, God, listen, I know how annoying I am, but I cannot stop myself.  I know I haven’t talked about anything but Animorphs in three weeks, I know I’ve made forty-five TAZ posts today, whatever you’re about to complain about, I already know, okay, I am aware, and there is nothing more painful than to have a fucking out-of-body experience watching yourself rattle on about a hyperfixation while the other person obviously gets bored in front of you.  And then you try to keep your mouth shut and it physically hurts not to talk about the thing.  It’s hard to describe what it ‘feels’ like except that ADHD brains are magpies at their core and hyperfixations are the shiny, shiny objects your brain wants to take home.

Anyway, I’m not sure how useful ANY of this has been, but like.  After a certain point, you kind of have to trust yourself enough to decide, once and for all, whether you really, truly believe you’re faking a neurological disorder for the attention.  If the answer is no, then great!  You have sussed out your symptoms and can start managing them accordingly, whether that’s some helpful apps on your phone or medication or something in between.  If the answer is yes, then you probably need some therapy, and your therapist will be able to help you get to a point where you feel able to trust yourself.

Go with the neurodivergent gods, my dude.

[redditnosleep]

My Student Submitted The Most Disturbing "Living History" Project I've Ever Seen

by gretelcat

One of my least favorite parts about being a middle school history teacher is the bullshit “Living History” assignments we give at the end of every school year. Kids are supposed to sit with their grandparents and video tape, voice record, or transcribe their oldest memories for posterity (and for an easy way to bring up their GPA).

I have been doing this for seventeen years, and when I collected the projects this time around, I assumed they would be as dull, if not duller than usual. This had not been a particularly bright class.

So I went home, poured myself a glass of wine, and prepared for a long night of “I only owned two pairs of pants when I was your age” and “My brother got beat with a newspaper for hitting a baseball into a neighbor’s yard.” And of course, these projects were peppered with innocent, old-person comments that were so horribly sexist and racist you just had to laugh.

Now, I had a girl in my class whom I will call Olivia. She was pudgy, quiet, and proved herself a consistent B student. I expected her project to be as unremarkable as her, and perhaps that’s why I was so profoundly disturbed by what I witnessed that night.

Olivia had submitted two discs for some reason, so I began with the one marked “interview.” My screen hiccupped twice before a grainy image of a living room came into view. The place was a hoarder’s hell. Olivia was curled up in an armchair clutching a notebook and looking like a scared animal. Across from her sat a man with a somber countenance, smoking a cigarette and staring at her expectantly.

“Go ahead,” a woman’s voice whispered from behind the camera. Olivia’s owlish eyes flashed towards the screen, then back to the man.

“I am here with my Great Uncle Stephen,” she began almost inaudibly. “He is going to tell us about his oldest memories from being in the army.”

Great Uncle Stephen looked like he’d rather be in a goddamn trench at the moment, but he waited patiently for the questions to begin.

Not surprisingly, Olivia read verbatim from the suggested questions sheet I had handed out to the students. He answered her curtly. Once or twice I heard her mother whisper “speak up, Olivia” from behind the camera. Typical, boring shit.

So I was intrigued when Olivia set down the notebook and asked, “Did you like being in the army?”

That was totally off-script. Great Uncle Stephen emitted a chain smoker’s wheeze. “Nope. Glad to get out of my town though.”

“Where did you go?”

“Balkans.”

“Uh-huh,” she said. I doubted she knew what the Balkans were, and my suspicion was confirmed when she asked, “Was Baukiss very different from here?”

“Yes.”

Mom cleared her throat from behind the camera, perhaps encouraging Great Uncle Stephen to be a little more forthcoming.

But Olivia seemed genuinely interested. “Uncle Stephen,” she asked, “what is your very worst memory from the army?”

The old man crushed his cigarette in the ashtray and then slowly lifted himself out of his chair. “I’ll be back,” he mumbled. The camera cut off.

When the screen flashed back on, everything was the same except Great Uncle Stephen had several pieces of paper in plastic sleeves laid atop all the crap sitting on his coffee table. One, he held in his hand.

“I was a kid when I enlisted,” he said, looking at Olivia. “Your brother’s age,” he told her. Olivia nodded. “I never saw combat. Both of my deployments were to cities in Eastern Europe that had been destroyed by civil wars. Everything was a mess. I felt like a janitor for fuck’s sa-”

“Ahem!” Mom coughed.

Great Uncle Stephen sighed and looked at his paper. “My unit was assigned to a school that had been obliterated by all the violence. Broken windows, caved in rooms – and for some reason, the part that got to me the most was that the school had been like this for years before we got there. No one had lifted a finger to fix it. I saw kids walk by it on their way to go beg for money or whatever shit they did-”

The camera dipped towards the floor as I heard Mom whisper harshly at Great Uncle Stephen. I couldn’t make out what she was saying, but it wasn’t hard to imagine.

“Do you want to hear this goddamn story or not?” I heard him bark in response. “Then you better let me tell it how I want.”

“Mom,” Olivia chimed. “Please stop interrupting.”

“Are you presenting this in front of the class?”

“No, Mom, we’re just handing it in to the teacher.”

“I’m sure he’s heard the word shit before,” Great Uncle Stephen contributed helpfully. I wasn’t a “he” as a matter of fact, but other than that the statement was accurate.

The camera was lifted and after a couple of blurry focus adjustments, the shot was the same as before.

“Ahh I’m talking too much anyway,” he grumbled. He lifted the piece of paper in his hand close to his face. “In the basement, I found this letter. I didn’t know what it said but I had a buddy of mine translate it. So I’m gonna read it now. And then I’ll tell you what I saw in that basement.”

A chill ran down my spine. Mom zoomed in to Great Uncle Stephen and his letter. His palsied hands trembled as he held up the paper. This is what he read:

Dear Sir,

I never loved my country. So many of these skirmishes are born from patriotism, a power struggle for the shards of a once-great empire, but I do not care what name my home has on a map. This fighting is senseless and I stay as far away from it as I can.

It was not these attacks and disorganized violence that took the lives of my wife and child. It was illness. Mercifully, it happened quickly for the baby. Nadja suffered for longer. I watched in horror knowing I could do nothing for them. My only solace is that I was there for them every step of the way. I stopped going to work one day, and no one came after me. I doubt they noticed I was gone. Since the school was simply across a field, visible from my window, it would have been easy to go for a few hours each day and come home quickly to care for them. But what was the point? All I did was clean floors. I was as useless to the world as I was to my family.

I tried to take Nadja to the hospital, but the journey was too long and taxing. I brought her home and she died that night.

After Nadja and the baby were gone… well, I don’t remember much. I didn’t leave my hovel, barely ate and slept, thought many times of taking my own life. Tempting though it was, I felt paralyzed by my own helplessness.

The one thing that kept me sane was my radio. I never turned it off once. Even though I didn’t listen to the words being said – in fact, the channel I got the clearest was in English (I think) which I don’t speak a lick of. But the voices, the music, and the true knowledge that life existed beyond this violent city sustained me.

I have no idea how long passed before I saw the light of day again. I was dizzy from hunger, so finding food was my priority. My radio came with me, of course. Since I first holed myself up, it has gone everywhere with me. It talks to me as I sleep and as I wake. I don’t know what it’s saying, but I know I would die without it.

Once I had some water and food, it occurred to me that the only thing left to do was go back to work. So I did. The following morning, I simply returned to the school where I was a janitor and got back to work.

Nobody made a big deal out of it. Like I said, Nadja had been sick for a long time, and those who worked at the school knew it. I appreciate that no one had pestered me to come back to work during the hardest days of my life. The teachers never said much to me, but we smiled at each other in the halls and that mutual respect was perhaps the reason I decided to come back at all.

The place had gone to the dogs without me, so I simply grabbed my broom and rags from my closet and set to cleaning. Everyone is grateful to have me back, I know. And the best part is that nobody minds my radio. I bring it with me everywhere and keep the volume low enough not to disrupt the students. No one has ever complained. In fact, I suspect they like it.

The schoolhouse is not very big, but does require a lot of maintenance. The floors are always sticky and stained, so I spend most of my time mopping. Kids make messes – I guess that’s why I’m still in business. Sometimes I have to move things around to make sure I get every spot on the floor beautiful and clean, but I take pride in that.

And the repairs! The school always needs tune-ups here and there, and I am happy to help. Some days I’m reconstructing a desk that broke as I whistle along with the radio, other times I handle more serious, structural issues. Days when I have work like this, I feel truly instrumental, like a cog in a larger machine. How could this school survive without me? It took me a long time, but I once again feel that I have purpose.

There is a larder behind the school that is full of preserved food. In lieu of payment, I am allowed to take as much food as I need. That arrangement is fine – what would I do with money anyway? I used to bring the food back to my home, just one field away from the school, but when I started sleeping in the basement no one seemed to notice. This school is special to me and I cannot leave it unguarded.

When I am besieged with memories of my wife and baby, I turn up the volume on the radio to drown out such thoughts. It works for me every time.

Except this morning.

Because this morning, I woke up to dead silence.

I frantically examined the radio to see what had happened. I honestly cannot tell you how many days in a row I have been using it. Did it simply live out its life and die naturally? I have spent the entire day trying to fix it. Most of this time, I have been crying. I am losing my mind without it.

I have given myself until sundown. If I cannot fix it by then, I am going to take my life. I am writing this because the sunlight is starting to die and I know what my fate shall be.

I have thought about taking one last walk through the halls of my school, saying goodbye to the students and teachers. I know I will be missed. But I cannot bring myself to leave this room. I cannot go anywhere knowing that my radio is dead in here.

There are no more tears in me. It feels now like I can’t catch my breath. I vomited what little food I had in my stomach and I am growing dizzy again, like I did after Nadja died. I am not long for this world.

But before I take my life, I have closed the door to this room and stuck a chair beneath the handle. It is the only room in the basement and has a small casement that lets in just enough light for me to see what I am doing. If anyone is kind enough to come looking for me, they should not be met with this gruesome sight. Perhaps they will see the door is blocked, smell my rotting body, and simply forget I ever existed.

But I have placed both my radio and this note outside the door. Kind sir, if you are reading this, I have one humble request: please fix it. Save my radio. It did not deserve to die in its sleep and I am ashamed that I cannot revive it.

Now I am ready to join Nadja and little Ludmilla in heaven. I hope this school can find another janitor who loves and cares for it the way I do.

The hour is now. Do not forget my radio.

Stanislav

When Mom zoomed back out, Olivia had tears in her eyes. “Thank you for sharing, Uncle Stephen,” Mom said, her voice choked. “I think we have enough.”

“Wait!” Olivia chirped. “He said there’s more. What did you find?”

Before Great Uncle Stephen could open his mouth, the image disappeared. My jaw dropped. Was that it? What did Great Uncle Stephen see?

I promptly remembered that there was a second disc. This one was unmarked, but I hoped it contained the rest of the interview.

There was no video, only audio. The voice that started up was Olivia’s.

“Hi Miss Gerrity. I’m sorry about my mom, but she refused to record the rest of what my uncle was saying. But I asked him to continue and secretly recorded the story as a voice memo on my phone. I remember you said earlier this year that history is written by the people who win wars.” She sucked in a breath and commenced crying. “But everyone’s history is important, even if they are sad, pathetic people and even if they never won a single thing in their life. I haven’t slept through the night since I finished this project, but you have to hear what my uncle has to say.”

There were tears in my eyes, too. The sincerity of her words was beautiful. I was also flattered that she had remembered some trite phrase I threw around because it was what my history teachers said to me.

Before I got too sappy over it, the audio began again.

“Fine,” came Mom’s frustrated voice. “If you want to hear the rest of the story, fine, but this is not appropriate for a school project.”

“Let me finish,” Great Uncle Stephen snapped. “If it’s too much for you, help yourself to a snack in the kitchen. But Olivia wants to know what happened.”

I heard her mother mumble something and walk away. Olivia and her uncle were alone. I imagined her looking at him expectantly.

“So did you find the radio? Or did it get ruined when the school got blown up?”

He rasped and I heard the distinct click of a lighter. “That letter,” he began slowly, “had a date on it.”

“What date?” she inquired hungrily.

“It was dated two weeks before we started rebuilding the school.”

“Didn’t you say the school had been destroyed like two years ago?”

“Yes,” replied Great Uncle Stephen. “It had been.”

There was silence as I felt goosebumps on my arms. The images that came to my mind were almost too overwhelming to express, but Great Uncle Stephen put them into words effortlessly. Clearly he had spent his whole life thinking about it.

“This man, this Stanislav, went to a vandalized, falling apart schoolhouse and cleaned up blood and rubble like it was spilled drinks and dust. He smiled at dead bodies in the hallway and believed they were smiling back at him because they liked his radio. He moved around corpses so he could sweep the ground under them. The roof was half collapsed, so when it rained, he must’ve gotten soaking wet but was so oblivious that he didn’t even feel a thing.” I could hear Olivia crying steadily. “I found the larder he was talking about. It was all pickled, preserved food that probably tasted like shit. Most of the stuff was moldy.”

“Did – did you see the dead body?”

“Yes. Hanging from the ceiling, but still amazingly… lifelike. He wasn’t rotting away. This hadn’t happened years ago.”

“Did he look peaceful?” she asked, a chord of desperation in her voice.

“Couldn’t tell you. The smell was rank, and his face was blue and his eyes were bulging. Like this.” I imagined him demonstrating.

“And the radio?” Olivia wept.

I heard Great Uncle Stephen take a long drag of his cigarette. “It was there, alright. And it was still on.”

[ranger-of-estel]

I've relayed some fandom experiences to a friend who watches Legends but doesn't really engage in fandom, and she jokingly came up with this prompt. Now I'm more curious than anything to see it executed. Snart & Carter (yes, as in S1 Kendra's soulmate) being in character but, I quote, "super besties". Idek. Only requirement is that you can't have Snart kill Carter and turn it in an only Snart adventure. If this is too extra to write, no offense taken. It's a very silly prompt.

So, funnily enough this one is actually semi-serious? It’s short (and partly written in the ER, cause hey, had to pass the time somehow), but I think completely canon-compliant. Of course “super besties” might be a stretch (Carter just died to early to build relationships with anyone but I feel like I don’t totally miss the mark.

              The team has been on the ship justover a week. Leonard Snart finds them more irritating by the day; exceptperhaps for Sara Lance, who has proven adept at cards. Still, for the most parthe keeps to himself when they are not actively on a mission. He gets restlessthough, and with nothing to do, and a supercomputer at his disposal, he decidesto plan a heist.

              Needless to say he is surprisedwhen another team member approaches him. “Blueprints? Planning a job?”Carter asks, stopping next to the smaller table in the galley.

              “No,” he drawls, lookingup at the other man. “I just enjoy the artwork”

              “Hey,” the man almostglares. There is no reason to be so short.”

              “And there is no reason foryou to be sticking your nose in my business” he retorts.

              “Well that’s easier said thandone when you’ve taken up the entire table.” Carter looks over the papers.“Isn’t this the museum back in Central City?” he asks.

              “If it is?” Leonard isfighting the urge to shoot the usually reserved man.

              “I could help,” heshrugs.

              “How?” Leonard drawls outthe word, leaning back in his seat to watch the younger man.

              “As it happens, I have someexperience as a thief from a previous life.” he looks from the blueprintback to Leonard. “I’ve also worked as a night-guard somewhere with similarsecurity”

              “Alright, let’s see whatyou’ve got.” Leonard motions to a seat across from his.

              “Shouldn’t you be pesteringthe barista with your undying love for her or something?” Leonard looksover at the man in his doorway, head tilted.

              “Kendra will remember who sheis in time, but for now she wants space.“ he shrugs, lifting a couplebeers. "And I recall a conversation about stealing an emerald.”

              Leonard shakes his head, “Idoubt your soulmate would approve of such actions.”

              "Of course not. Even in thetime when I was a thief.” he chuckles, “She was the detective whocaught me in the end. Subconsciously remembering my patterns, allowing her tocut me off.” He tosses Leonard a beer, then leans against the wall with hisown. “I miss it sometimes, the thrill of the chase.”

              Leonard sighs, “Alright;” hegives the other man a hard look, “But if you want on the crew you have to proveyour worth my time.”

              “That shouldn’t be a problem,”Carter shrugs, lifting the bottle to his lips. “Try me.”

               Whenthey find out about the dagger Len sees an opportunity, but ends up withRaymond on his team instead. And before the night is over whatever tenuousfriendship has begun between himself and the supposed hawk-god is put to a verysudden ending. Shame, he’d actually started to think Carter wasn’t as uselessas he’d looked. That maybe he and Mick could find an extra crew member for theduration of this ridiculous venture. But then, luck and fortune had never beenon his side; and as the night had proven Carter was apparently more like Mickin this lifetime. “Better luck next time,”