#I fucking paid eight dollars for this

[xenk64]

"Vices"

[victory-cookies]

why is beef jerky 8 dollars

[the-trans-dragon]

Every time I buy toothpaste the tube is smaller and I hate it!!! Give me fucking the toothpaste!!!

[inkskinned]

the thing about some men is that they want you to remember, at all times, that you are underneath them. that with one word or look or "joke", you will stay beneath them. that even "exceptions" to the rule are not true exceptions - the commonly cited statistic that one in eight men believe they could win against serena williams.

women's gymnastics is often not seen as real gymnastics. whatever the fuck non-euclidian horrors rhythmic gymnasts are capable of, it's often tamped down as being not a sport. some of the most dominant athletes in the world are women. nobody watches women's soccer. despite years of dancing and being built like a fucking brick, men always assume they're faster and stronger than i am. you wouldn't like what happens when they are incorrect. once while drunk at a guy's house i won a held-plank challenge by a solid minute. the party was over after that - he became exceedingly violent.

what i mean is that you can be perfect, and they still think you're ... lacking, somehow. i hope you understand i'm trying to express a neutral statement when i say: taylor swift was the possibly the most patriarchy-palatable, straight-down-the-line woman we could churn out. she is white, conventionally attractive, usually pretty mild in personality. say what you will about her (and you should, she's a billionaire, she can handle it), but a few things seem to be true about her: 1. she can write a damn catchy song, and 2. the eras tour truly was a massive commercial success and was also genuinely an impressive feat of human athleticism and performance.

i don't know if she deserves the title of "woman of the year," i'm not debating that in this post. what i am saying is that she was named Woman of The Year, and then an untalented man got onstage at the golden globes and made fun of her for attending her boyfriend's football games. what i am saying is that this woman altered local economies - and her dating life is still being made into a "harmless" punchline. the camera panned, greedy, over to her downing a full glass of champagne. congratulations taylor! you are woman of the year! but you are a woman. even her.

fuck, man. write better material.

a guy gets onstage at a college graduation and despite the fact like half the crowd is made up of women, he spends a significant proportion of it warning these people - who spent possibly hundreds of thousands of dollars on their education - that they were lied to. that the "real" meaning of femininity is motherhood. that they shouldn't rest on the laurels of that education-they-paid-for but instead throw it away to kneel at a man's heel. imagine that. sweating in your godawful polyester gown (that you also had to pay for!), fresh out of 4 years of pushing yourself ever-harder: and some guy you've never met - who knows nothing about you - he reminds you this "win" is a pyrrhic one at best. you really shouldn't consider yourself that extraordinary. you're still a woman, even after years of study.

god forbid you are not a pretty woman, but if you are pretty, you must be dumb. god forbid you are not ablebodied or white or cis or straight or good at swallowing. you must be beneath a man, or else they are not a man. the equation for masculinity seems to just be: that which is not a woman or womanly (god forbid). anything "feminine" is thereby anathema. to engage in "feminine" things such as therapy, getting a hug from a friend, or crying - it is giving up ones manhood. therefore women need to be put in their place to ensure that masculinity is protected.

this is something i have struggled to explain to terfs - they are not doing the work of feminism, but rather the patriarchy. by asserting that women and men must be (on some secret level) oppositional and in conflict, they also assume that being a woman is akin to being another species. but bigotry does not stem from observational truths or clarity - that is what makes it bigotry. there was nothing in my childhood that made me fundamentally different from my brother. we are treated differently nonetheless. to assert there is some biological drive that enforces my gender role is to assert that women have a gendered role. men do not see women as equal to them not because of biological reality - but instead because the core tenant of the patriarchy is that women aren't full, realized people.

we are told from a very young age to excuse misbehavior as a single man's choice - not all men. it is not all men, just that one guy. all women are gold-digging bitches who belong in the kitchen - but if a man is mean, bigoted, or violent to you, it's just that particular guy, and that means nothing about men-as-a-whole. it is only one guy who got mad when you gently rejected him. it is only one guy who warns her this trophy is heavy, are you sure you can hold it? it is only one guy who smashes her face into the cake. it is only one guy talking into a mic about hating our bodily autonomy.

i have just found that they often wait until the moment we actually seem to be upstaging them. you sit in a meeting where you're presenting your own findings and he says get me a coffee? or you run to the end of the marathon and are about to finish first and he pushes your kids out in front of you. you win the chess game and they make some comment akin to well, you're ugly away. we can be the billionaire and get the dream life and finally fucking do it and yet! still! they have this strange, visceral urge to say well actually, if you think you're so great -

it's not one just one guy. it's one in eight.

[ms-demeanor]

While I was out of town my boss pretty clearly got in a fight with one of my coworkers about overtime and billable hours and that has led to him being a petty little pissbaby about "complying with california law" by having us fill out time sheets because boss was utterly incapable of finding the middle ground between "you must track every second of your time in order to be paid for it" and "the technicians who make $60k a year are salaried and therefore are not entitled to overtime."

"Salaried employees can be non-exempt and therefore earn overtime if working for more than 8 hours a day but also are in a position where they can be trusted to take a few extra minutes at lunch or may stay after closing time occasionally without requiring overtime" doesn't seem like a very fine needle to thread but he is absolutely incapable of threading it.

For *years and years* now he has used himself as an example of the right way to be "on time." He's told us about going to his job as a kid and getting there five minutes early every day just to prove to his boss that he really wanted the work.

Anyway, I just got a lecture on how I'm not supposed to clock in even a minute before my start time, nor am I to cut my lunch short, nor am I to stay late to finish things up; he wants me in here for eight hours a day *exactly* and is now so hell-bent on micromanaging everyone's start and end times that he was late to a client meeting earlier because he was looking over time sheets.

Sir, you have played stupid games and you have won stupid prizes. You should have just paid the techs their fucking overtime.

He's being so petulant about this and it's so fucking funny. None of us feel bad for you bro. You are wage theft georg and the spiders have come home to roost. It is very much worth the potential few dollars of time I'll lose each week to see you tie yourself up in knots about whether I stayed two minutes late on wednesday to answer a customer's question.

[heartsofminds]

i'm calling just to hear you scream - part i

"She’s tried to be positive. She’s tried to be kind. She’s trying to be the peacekeeper, but all of that falls out the window when her brother is bitching out everything that fucking blinks and breathes and Richie has slung a sledgehammer into the wrong wall that needed to be knocked down." or Natalie gets fed the fuck up and hires a hospitality attorney before everything else turns to shit. 

a/n: i couldn't help myself at all and had to bite by trying my hand at writing for carmy! what can i say? i love men with trauma that need to be cuddled like newborns! please enjoy the beginning of enemies to lovers to enemies back to lovers fic with a workaholic chef and an overly empathetic attorney. angst is my brand! i hope you enjoy!

Being the peacekeeper of your family is never something anyone ever sets out to be. 

One day you’re normal and live blissfully with the rose-colored lenses of naivety tinting life shades of bashful blush and magnetic magenta. The next day you’re diffusing a spitfire scarlett dispute between your anxiety-ridden mother and impulsively crude older brother while simultaneously taming the balloon of battered blue tears your baby brother sheds who observes from the corner; scared yet somehow unaware of the emotions sucking the oxygen out of everyone. 

At first, it feels good. It feels nice to be appreciated and turned to in moments of darkness. Helpfulness defines your livelihood and gives you the nameplate of the gold star child who can never do any wrong and always finds a solution. But then you realize that is what you ever really are, and you’re both hated for your inability to let things sour and for always having an answer despite uncertainty plaguing every course of action. 

Being the peacekeeper of your family is both a Medal of Honor, worn with pride and graciousness, yet a bullet wound wielded by shame and agony. The tenderness and hurt push on it until you can hardly stand it; half expecting pus to be seeping out in pale yellow heaps because the pain feels so real. 

There are no exit wounds. There are no breaks. There is no humanity or personal identity or room for self-discovery. 

A peacemaker is all you will be and all you will ever accomplish, and you’ll never say it out loud but it’s fucking exhausting. 

Being the peacemaker is something Natalie Berzatto never fucking asked for, yet here she is, playing project manager to her haywire (and sometimes freakishly obsessive) baby brother’s blind-eyed throw of a dart that manifested itself in asking Uncle Jimmy for an eight hundred thousand dollar loan with the promise to have it completely paid back within eight months. 

She’s not one to rain on a parade, but it’s hard to keep marching when your entire life has been putting out the fires of overly ambitious business ventures during unmedicated fits of mania. She had seen it with their dad, with their mom, and with Mikey. Carmen is the last needle needed to complete the fucked up haystack that engulfs their family. 

She’s tried to be positive. She’s tried to be kind. She’s trying to be the peacekeeper, but all of that falls out the window when her brother is bitching out everything that fucking blinks and breathes and Richie has slung a sledgehammer into the wrong wall that needed to be knocked down. 

Natalie has never thought of looking into Botox until now; when her face is set in a permanent scowl and her resting heart rate nears triple digits. Pete had been telling her for the past three weeks that she was doing amazing; that this was an impossible task to complete stress-free, and that the stress was “good” because it meant that she cared. 

Sometimes she doesn’t realize that not everyone has a mom who drives the fucking car through the den during Christmas Eve dinner nor does everyone have a mom who moves all the furniture to the backyard before having to leave for their oldest brother’s high school graduation. Not everyone has an older brother who blows his head off and doesn’t leave a note and not everyone has a younger brother who would lose his head if it wasn’t attached to his body and had his mouth that was spewing hurtful insults by the dozen.

Stress does not mean that you care. Stress means that your eyes are staring at the fucking Sun trying to see where the other shoe is getting ready to drop because there’s always another disappointment and always another phone call to make to the pharmacy for more SSRIs. 

Needless to say, Richie calling Neil “lard ass” on an antagonizing loop after he had pointed out the wrong wall was being destroyed was the last straw. Well, that and the fact she found a new patch of white hairs colonizing on her hairline the other morning. Constant shouted insults, gray hairs popping up overnight, and the colossal secret of a new infant making its arrival into the chaos in October weigh heavy on her. And she absolutely cannot afford to lose her cool and become the kind of bitchy and mean she knows that she’s capable of. 

Your phone number sits inside the LED-lit text thread of a friend she had known in high school. Becca was the older sister of Claire Cantor whom her little brother may have or may have not had a pathetic crush on years ago when he was in high school. 

She feels kind of grimy doing what she is; offering up information about Carmy to Becca to give to Claire who apparently thought her baby brother was the bee's knees (which, if she saw the way he was acting right now, Natalie knows she would run the other way). She doesn’t even think Carmen has the capability to think of anything outside of the restaurant and the menu and how royally fucked they all are. 

She can feel the dull ache of guilt in her chest that comes with knowing how unlikely anything is to come from this, and how wrong she is for pretending like her telling Becca where he grocery shops or if he has a girlfriend or if he was currently looking for someone to date would somehow tether Claire to a world where her and Carmen are a “thing” (because apparently “boyfriend and girlfriend” is too permanent of a word for Chicagoan twenty-somethings to use). 

But she’s doing it for the sake of everyone else! It can’t possibly be as gross and low-lived as she feels it is. 

Becca Cantor is insufferable and can only be taken in small doses, but she’s also a big wig junior partner at one of the most lucrative law firms in Chicago. Natalie hates blowing smoke up people’s asses who don’t deserve it (and in Becca’s case certainly don’t need it), but she desperately needs help and knows that she needs to figure something out before she fucks herself in such a deep hole that she couldn’t attempt to unfuck herself if she tried. 

Your official title is “junior associate” and you had been working at Becca’s firm following your graduation from Northwestern’s Pritzker School of Law a couple of years prior. Becca had said you were amazing; freakishly smart, funny, and hardworking. She also mentioned that you were the best kind of junior associate; the ones that know when to shut the fuck up and when to get the fuck out of the way. The addition added before the text conversation ended was how you were looking to get your foot into the hospitality legal field, and how you were willing to do anything concerning that for free fucking ninety-nine if it meant you would have some experience. 

Natalie sits with her lower lip worried between her teeth and her hands one tick shy of shaking. Her heart beats erratically despite lounging on her couch with the lights off and a re-run of That 70’s Show playing softly in the background. She makes a mental note to bring up the high resting heart rate at her next OB appointment. 

It’s because she’s pregnant. Yes. It has to be because she’s pregnant. 

She shouldn’t be nervous. It would be absolutely ridiculous to be nervous. She’s not nervous. 

She already ran the idea past Sydney and she agreed that they absolutely needed a lawyer in their back pocket. With all of the tax records fucked beyond belief, new workers being hired who actually knew their worth and wouldn’t tolerate not having an actual employement contract, and the lack of permits under their belt currently, a lawyer wouldn’t hurt if getting one turned out to not be as helpful as anticipated. Besides, Becca had said you were doing it for them pro bono which in turn meant free fucking nintey-nine. 

But Natalie had lied to Carmen about how much some fluted cocktail glasses cost to ensure that they purchased the cheaper ones so that she could run the numbers and figure out a way to put you on the payroll. Pro bono or not, you’re doing them a huge favor and part of her can’t put the peacekeeping to rest. 

Her fingers type and untype a novel of characters. She can’t seem to relax her mind enough to articulate what exactly she wants to say. She has one shot to not scare you off and not lose her mind in a fit of fiery rage and not have everything turn to shit and it be her fault. She has to be perfect. 

Fuck. She is nervous. 

Hi! This is Natalie Berzatto. I’m one of Becca Cantor’s friends and she referred me to you. I’m working on opening a restaurant and would like for you to swing by and discuss some things about it if you’re open to that! Please let me know. I’m looking forward to hearing back from you soon! 

Nat’s finger hits the blue “send” arrow in the rounded box of her phone screen the same time she pushes a gag to the back of her throat. She used to work at a marketing firm for Christ’s sake. Cold contacting people isn’t anything new and she’s usually not one to shy away from reaching out to anyone in her personal life first. But she can’t help the fact that she’s never been able to swallow the artificial bubble gummy niceness of reaching out to a complete stranger for the first time. She feels stupid and knows that she sounds even stupider but tries not to think about it. 

Besides, keeping everything together is never easy and she knows that she would be selfish for letting her discomfort prevent her from doing what she knows is best. 

Her breath is stuck in her chest as she eyes the open text thread to an unsaved number; her blue text message staring at her menacingly and breeding contempt as the seconds pass. She gasps loudly whenever she sees the gray bubbles pop up beneath it. Pete pokes his head into the living room with a tea towel in his hand and one of the ceramic plates they had eaten dinner on in the other. His eyes wear concern but he knows better than to confront his wife. Natalie was anything but sugary sweet when she was stressed and the influx of hormones as of late have not been helping. 

You see the message as soon as Natalie sends it. The unknown “312” number finds its way into your notifications and your eyes read over the words in a frenzy. You know that you’re intelligent. You graduated from law school for fuck’s sake, but for some reason you absolutely cannot comprehend the text you’re reading. 

Firstly, you were sure Becca hated your fucking guts. She was a junior partner that everyone hated being assigned to because she pushed all her work onto the associates and nothing ever seemed to be good enough for her. Part of the reason you had to take work home tonight was because she sent you an email with enough passive-aggressive undertone to know that these edits needed to be done now; never mind the fact that the time she took to type out the seven and a half page report about the original report probably took up so much time that she could’ve done the task herself. But yet you replied kindly and have been working through your brain fog and finger cramps since arriving home at six in the evening five hours ago. 

Secondly, hospitality litigation was absolutely above your pay grade. You had taken one elective course on it during your 2L year and did a two-week internship before the start of 3L simply because one of your friends wanted to go on vacation and needed to find someone to cover for them. You know jack shit about hospitality law and you don’t even know why Becca Cantor, of all fucking people, would be so willing to recommend you when she couldn’t care less if you lived or died. 

But of course, you can’t say no. You can never say no, and if this Natalie person was desperate enough to reach out to you via text at 11 PM on a Wednesday, she definitely needed help and needed it now. Besides, you would tell her that you do not need to be paid and if whatever she needs proves to be way too advanced for you, you can always help her find an attorney that knows what they’re doing.

Right? 

It definitely doesn’t mean that you’ll pull an all-nighter and research every aspect of hospitality law in Illinois that you can get your hands on. . .Or look up every department dealing with food and management regulations in the state. . .Or try and look at precedent cases. Your firm gave you unlimited access to West Law. Might as well use it for something slightly more interesting than trusts, estates, and contracts. 

You’re unusually pensive for something you know you would love to do. The ongoing battle as of late has been the dispute between seeking joy and wading in practicality; happiness or falsified peace? 

You rub your eyes with a roughness that would make your optometrist cringe. You know that staring at your computer screen five hours after your contracted work hours ended was the culprit for your dry eyes, but the hours you need are not going to bill themselves. Getting up to get your eyedrops will have to wait.

Replying to Natalie cannot. 

Your fingers type and untype; the feeling of texting back an unknown number foreign and unnerving. 

Thanks so much for reaching out and thinking of me! I would love to. What dates and times work for you, and where would it be best for us to meet? 

The text stares at you on your phone screen. Why do you sound so. . . corporate? Boring? Infantile.

She could probably tell you don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about at all. The feeling of defeat rises in your throat but you ignore it and hit send instead. You’re trying to be better about that; letting your fear of uncertainty keep you from taking action. You’ve come to realize that the hard part isn’t doing the thing. It’s actually sitting in the aftermath of the “thing” and waiting for the rest of the world to catch up. 

You bite your lip so hard it begins to bleed and throbs with each pulse of watery blood that fills your mouth. The gentle suck you give it to stop the bleeding makes it partially numb. 

Fuck you, Becca. Fuck you, Becca. Fuck you, Becca. 

Natalie chirps when your text illuminates her screen. She gasps and sits up; startling Pete who had settled next to her after finishing the dishes. Her eyes curl up in the same way her lips do. 

Fucking finally. 

The world no longer feels like it’ll fall apart.

[paradiseprincesss]

heheheh request for my baby girl jackson 🎀 jackson hires a call girl because he’s lonely one night and wants to feel alive. however, neither of them expected to get attached and despite him trying to convince her that he’s bad for her (he literally confesses that he’s a killer) he keeps on calling her up again. he loves her but he doesn’t want to be with her, she loves him but she hates how she feels for him type of shit. then when one night he calls her, she’s blocked him anddddddd i’ll leave the ending up to you!

bonus points for angsty.

song - die for you by the weeknd

i would die for you | jackson rippner

yes yes yes, anything for you my looooove! thank you for the wonderful ideas ily.

summary: jackson falls in love with you, a call girl, but he knows that this is bound to end in disaster. you feel the same way, so you two try to keep it strictly sex. however, one thing leads to another and feelings get involved.

warnings: smut, p in v, kissing, swearing, sex work, in general just smut and mature themes, mdni 18+ only

word count: 3.7k

masterlist

jackson reached over to his bedside drawer, rummaging for his wallet as he caught his breath. his hands grabbed at his wallet, and he pulled out ten, crisp, one hundred dollar bills, handing it over to you. pulling up the duvet to cover your bare chest, you offer him a half-hearted smile as you take the cash from him.

"you only owe me eight hundred." you inform him, counting the bills carefully.

"yeah well, you're worth more than that." he says shrugging as he put his pyjama pants on and got up to shower. "thank you for tonight."

"you're welcome, i guess." you say quietly, watching him disappear into his bathroom as you hear his shower running.

you sigh with frustration and get up to get dressed as you collect your things, along with the thousand dollars you'd just made in one hour.

perks of being a call girl, i guess.

you and jackson had an arrangement, but you both knew it was much more than that. it started when one night, he had stumbled across an escorting service's website because he was feeling a little...lonely, though he'd never admit that. he put in a request for their top girl, and that's how he had met you. jackson was stunned when you showed up to his house for the first time — he wasn't expecting someone so beautiful and classy to be working in a business like that.

obviously, the sex was good — great, actually — for both parties. typically, you would go sleep with whoever was paying you, and you'd just act it up. you know, fake it 'till you make it. however, there was no need to fake with jackson rippner. the way he fucked you was delicious. his thick cock had you screaming and moaning for more, clawing at his back and shoulders; marking him up as he left love bites all down your neck and collarbone.

at first, yes, it really was just strictly sex. however, after maybe the third time you guys had hooked up, it was clear this was crossing the threshold of "just transactional."

there was undeniable chemistry between the two of you, and neither of you could deny it. the way he looked at you with his pale, icy, blue eyes as he fucked you sensually, and the way you moaned his name as he made you cum.

yeah, it was definitely more than just fucking, but both of you pretended not to notice it.

you did your part by taking his money and hurriedly leaving out his door as soon as he paid you, and he did his due diligence by...well, that was the problem — he wasn't. he continued to overpay you on a regular basis, compliment you in ways that seemed a little too intimate and personal, and fucked you in a way he hadn't even fucked his previous girlfriends.

don't get me wrong; he knew that he shouldn't have been doing this, but somehow he got flustered and couldn't help himself every time you came around.

he knew about your profession, but you didn't know about his. that's why it would never work — i mean, you were a hooker of all things, and he was a killer for hire.

not exactly a match made in heaven.

as you were about to leave, you thought twice about it. the sudden urge to talk to him about how you felt wasn't going away. so, hesitantly, you sit back down on the edge of his bed in the clothes you came to his house in, and scrolled mindlessly through your phone as you waited for him to finish his shower.

"oh, i thought you left." you heard his voice say as the bathroom door opened, causing you to turn around in slight embarrassment.

"sorry, um..." you say sheepishly, eyes glued to him as water dripped down his chest and a towel hung around his waistline (god, it was so hot).

"is something wrong?" he asked inquisitively, raising a brow at you as you got lost in those impossibly blue eyes of his.

"okay, um," you take a deep breath in, "correct me if i'm wrong, but sometimes i feel like we're — god, this is so embarrassing — um, i feel like there's something here. like, between us."

you feel your face burn as you finally brought up the topic you've been dying to talk to him about, and he sighs as he looks at you with an expression that you couldn't quite read.

"look," he says, coming to sit beside you, "i'm gonna be honest with you - i know that there's something between us, but if feelings are going to get in the way of our arrangement, we can just stop."

"i didn't say we should stop," you correct him, "i just...you know, wanted to see if i was just making it all up in my head? i don't know."

"you're not," he says, shaking his head, "but i think we both know it's wrong."

the conversation suddenly got very serious, very fast. you weren't really sure what to say to this. was he telling you that he had feelings for you? did he not want to see you anymore because you said something? as the thoughts and questions were compiling up in your brain, he brought you back to reality as he spoke to you softly.

"i'm just gonna straight up tell you that i've sorta developed feelings for you," he sighed, "but i think for both of our sakes, we should stop this. as much i don't want to, i really think we should."

"wait, what?" you say, frowning, "like, stop our um, arrangement?"

"i pay you to play pretend," he explained, "i pay you to pretend to want me, but in all actuality, i've started to develop fucking feelings and an...attachment to this fantasy. to the idea of you being mine or some shit."

it was almost scary how level-headed he could be in a moment like this. you wanted to tell him to shut up and just kiss him already, but it seemed that for him, his logic was taking the reigns right now.

"...i just told you i felt the same way?" you say with confusion, and he looks at you, taking in every word you were saying as if he was trying to detect any signs of dishonesty coming from you.

"i'd be saying shit like that too if i was getting paid." he said coldly, suddenly putting his walls up which hurt you a little.

"jackson," you say softly, "it's not about the money."

he doesn't say anything, but he stares at you in a way that makes you want to look away; he was so intimidating.

"maybe at first it was," you ramble on, "but for the last three months, i haven't cared about the money i just— i care about you. i don't know what else to say."

your confession had him speechless along with yourself, as you didn't expect to be telling your client you had basically fallen in love with him tonight.

"i'm no good for you," he says quietly, "i'm only going to hurt you."

"that's just what you think—"

"no, it's not. it's a fact." he cuts you off with a stern tone.

"do you love me?" you suddenly ask, feeling bold as the adrenaline rushed through your veins, but you regretted it as soon as the words left your mouth.

who asks their client that?!

"do i love you?" he asks with a scoff, "what kind of question is that?"

"a yes or no question." you say matter of factly, deciding to finally push the boundaries of whatever this was.

"i..." he tried to get his words out, but he couldn't. he couldn't say that he didn't love you, as much as he tried, because he did love you. "fuck, i��� yeah."

you tried to ignore the way your heart started to beat uncontrollably as he said "yeah," and you bit your lip whilst thinking up a response. but before you could muster up the courage to say anything back, he started to talk again.

"don't tell me you don't fucking feel the same—"

"i do!" you say defensively, "of fucking course i do, jackson!"

"but that doesn't mean things can work between us."

"why not?"

"because—"

"because what, jackson?!"

"because i kill people for a living, okay? how the fuck do you think i can afford to pay you thousands of dollars a week?" he exclaimed back as his jaw clenched out of frustration.

that shut you up — you weren't expecting him to confess his love and the fact that he assassinates people for a living to you all at once. you couldn't find the right words to say, as you felt like any and everything you could say would just frustrate him even further.

"i'm gonna go," you say in a whisper, rushing to get up as he sighed from behind you, "maybe i'll see you around."

that night, you went home in silence. there wasn't a lot to say - shit hit the fan in a matter of seconds. the two of you just basically told each other that you'd fallen in love, but that it wasn't ever going to work because of external factors...

like the fact that he killed people for a living and you had sex with strangers to pay the bills.

you two didn't see each other for almost a week, but one warm, summer night on a friday, your phone started to go off. looking down at the caller id, you felt your heart start to race — jackson was calling.

hesitantly, you answer the call. "hello?" you say, wondering as to why he would be calling you not even a week after saying you and him had to "end."

"hey," he replies casually, "can we talk?"

how typical, you thought to yourself. "i thought you didn't want to talk," you say quietly, "you said yourself that this isn't going to work."

"yeah well, i say shit i don't mean all the time." he says cooly, and you rolled your eyes at his response. "come on, babydoll. i know you're thinking of me, too."

"don't play with my feelings," you scoff, "don't tell me you love me then tell me you don't want to be with me, then call me up again."

"first of all, i said we can't be together because of my job, not because i don't care about you," he corrects you, "and i just wanna talk about us. i've been thinking—"

"you said you're no good for me," you interrupt him, "don't send me mixed signals cause—"

"don't fucking start with that," he says, cutting you off in return, "you know i'm not the type to call about shit like this, or really talk about it, either."

"if you're going to be rude, i'm hanging up." you say, but he laughs softly on the other end of the line.

"relax, babydoll," he says softly, "come over, i just wanna talk, s'all. i'll pay you good, too."

"i am not fucking you." you scoff.

"for your time. god, calm down." he says, and you swore you could hear him roll his eyes over the phone.

"you don't need to do that," you sigh, "i'll come over in a bit, kay?"

"nine thirty?" he asks softly, and you agree before hanging up.

when nine thirty rolled around, you were dressed to kill — not literally unlike some people. just because you weren't going to fuck him doesn't mean you couldn't dress the part.

you pulled up outside of his home and you made your way to his doorstep; your high heels clicking on the pavement below you. he'd answered his door within seconds after you'd knocked, and he drank your appearance in.

"fuck, you look sexy," he said, biting his lip for a mere second, "come in."

"hello to you too, jackson." you say with a half smile as you playfully rolled your eyes, following him inside.

the moment you two were alone inside of his house, your hands were all over each other. of course, this wasn't supposed to happen — you were supposed to be "talking," but it seemed that neither of you wanted to face your feelings.

so, sex was the alternative. neither of you had to talk about your feelings or face the truth, and in the end, he got to cum and you got paid. it was a win win...kind of.

and this is how it continued for weeks. he'd call you up even though he swore that "this was the last time" every single time you two fucked, and he promised he was done with you and you promised you were done with him. he was in too deep, he knew he loved you, and you were too far gone — you knew you loved him, too.

he didn't know why he kept denying himself of being with you, and you didn't know why you allowed him to continue to drag the both of you down together. it was an awful thing, really. however, the cycle was never ending until one night, you decided you were through with it.

you decided your heart had gone through enough with him. this was supposed to be your job — you should have never let him string you along like this when you were falling in love. of course, you knew he felt the same way but you also knew he would never act on his feelings — he was too cold for that.

right?

so, you blocked him. you blocked his number and gave him radio silence, not bothering to give any explanation or second chances.

jackson hadn’t even realized you’d blocked him until his calls were not going through to your number, and his texts had turned green. he couldn’t believe you — the audacity!

of course, jackson was, well, jackson, and in typical stalker fashion, he had his ways of knowing absolutely everything about you, down to your exact address.

you were currently on your way home from seeing a client, and as you parked on your driveway, you noticed that the living room lights seemed to be on in your home. that's strange, you thought to yourself, i swear i turned off all the lights before i left.

you unlocked your front door, quietly making your way into your living room before letting out a shrill scream. you placed your hand right over your heart in surprise, "what the fuck," you huffed, "what are you doing in my house?"

jackson looked up at you from your couch with a smirk; he was always so cocky. "did you really think you could just block me, babydoll?" he cooed, getting up to approach you.

as much as you wanted to tell him off for literally breaking into your home, you also knew what he did for a living now. so, you figured maybe it was best not to argue with a potential serial assassin killer — he was trained in getting away with murder, after all.

"i can't keep doing this with you," you say softly, watching him as he towered over you, "i-i know you can, but i can't. it's just— i can't continue with you knowing that i, er, you know..."

"what, babydoll?" he says with a smirk, "come on, you can say it."

"knowing i, ugh, love you."

your words make him smile, and he places a hand on your cheek. "awe," he coos, "do you love me, babydoll? you just can't stop yourself from feeling this way about me? is that it?"

"jackson," you whined, but he pulled you in by your neck, "don't—"

"busy day, huh?" he says lowly, "how many guys did you see today?"

"ow," you whisper, "j-just one, we didn't even kiss—"

his grip on your neck became a little tighter, and he smirked down at you while your hands reached for his in an attempt to get him to let go. "well," he says softly, "consider that the last time you'll ever go out with another guy. fuck your job — you're mine."

gently, he lets go of your neck and decides to grab you by your waist instead, pulling your body flush against his. "what are you talking about?" you ask, resting your hands on his chest.

"can't you see what you do to me?" he whispered against your lips, giving you a gentle kiss before pulling away, "you wan't my love? fine by me, i'll give it to you, babydoll. but i don't share, and i'm never going to let you go."

the silence was eerie and the air was thick was tension, but you decided to throw caution to the wind that night.

"then don't." you whisper, and jackson instantly pulls you into a hungry kiss.

the two of you continue like this for a good while, making out against every wall in your damn house while stumbling up the stairs and desperately trying to get to your bedroom. between sloppy, heated kisses, and hands roaming over each others bodies, you finally make it to your bed (and what a miracle it was was). you straddled him on your bed as you push him onto the mattress softly.

he chuckles lowly, watching you throw your top off and revealing the gorgeous, hidden lace underneath. no matter how many times he'd seen this, he could never get tired of it — ever. his hands reached up to paw at your breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze.

"you're my girl," he sighs, "gonna show you off every fucking day, take you with me everywhere i go, every time i have a...job to do."

you giggle and help him take his suit jacket off, and unbutton his shirt along with slipping off his tie. once the two of you were fully undressed, just in your undergarments, he flipped you over so that your back was pressed into the mattress.

"say you fucking love me — say it." he growls, slipping your panties off in a rush.

"i do," you whimper, "i love you, jackson."

"good fucking girl," he groans, freeing his cock as the pre cum leaked from his pink tip, "who do you belong to?"

as he lined his cock up with your drooling entrance, you sighed, "you, i belong to you."

"that's right, babydoll." he tells you, finally pushing himself into you.

your back instinctively arches at the feeling of his fat cock filling you up fully, and even though he's fucked you on countless occasions, he always stretched your cunt out perfectly. your dripping hole was wrapped around his cock and he didn't wait a single second before setting a soft but deep pace.

"fuck, baby," he groaned, "look at how well you take my cock. it's like you were made to be my little whore."

his degrading (but also, really hot?!) words had you clenching down on him, causing both of you to let out choked moans. "you like it, don't you?" he asked, "you love being mine."

"yes!" you wailed out, "m-mhm! i love it, jackson, i love you!"

"i know you do," he cooed as he continued to push deeper and deeper into your cunt, "don't worry, babydoll, i love you too."

you whine as he continued to fuck you into oblivion, his hands coming to wrap around your leg as he hooked it over his shoulder. the new angle was mind-blowing in every way. so deep, so pleasurably painful.

you were already about to cum — but he didn't show any signs of stopping. "please," you breathlessly moan, "s-so close, ohmygod—"

"already?" he teases, "oh, babydoll. you needed to be fucked by me, didn't you? go on, show me how good my cock makes you feel."

you panted and moaned his name over and over again, and your eyes rolled back into your head. with your eyes closed, you couldn't see it — but he had the biggest, cockiest grin on his face as he watched you lose yourself from the way he was fucking you.

you couldn't find it in yourself to formulate any words as his cock drilled you senselessly, and all you could offer was broken, choked moans and breathily spoken pleas of his name. jackson was high off the way you were reacting to his very touch — he'd never seen you like this before.

usually, you two would have pretty rough sex, but this was something else. sure, it was rough but there was something else lingering in the air; love, perhaps?

yes — love.

"shit," he breathily spoke, "m'gonna cum inside- fuuuck."

as you were busy coming undone on his thick cock, he felt himself slowly tip over the edge, coming closer and closer to his own release. after a few more lazy thrusts, he was pouring himself into you with a low groan.

he pulled out after he was sure he'd filled your pussy up with every last drop of himself, and you could feel his cum dripping out of your spent cunt. he bit his lip at the sight of it — his sticky, warm fluids seeping out of your pretty pussy, mixing with your arousal. it was sending jackson into overdrive.

as he laid down beside you, he watched you closely as you crawled over and snuggled into his side. with a gentle sigh, he wrapped his arm around you tightly, holding you against him tenderly for once. jackson wasn't one to be very loving, like, at all. however, he couldn't deny that with you, he couldn't stop himself.

neither of you could take the pain of going without each other forever, and both of you knew you'd never find someone better because you were right for each other.

the silence in your bedroom was peaceful — not a word was said but all the love was there. neither of you had to say anything aloud for it to be understood.

and though it took some time for jackson to be able to articulate the feelings he was going through, once he did, there was no stopping him. you could never change his mind now — you were his, and he was yours. jackson would kill for you.

you could even say that he would die for you, too.

@girlinterrupted505 @ciriceimpera @jordyn-yeager @thevelvetvampyre @galactict3a

@xanaxiii @nocturnest @bloodandglitter207 @humbuginmybones 

@oceanstem @futurefamousdeadmusician @jonathancraneslittlepet @dolleyednymphette @kpopgirlbtssvt 

@ll4n4 @ilovetoxicfictionalmen @the-buddy-things @ellebelleshelby @wiseyouthinfluencer 

@aprilsfrog05 @minedofmoria @strangeobsessed @5tud10-54r4h @franzine-xii

@stsrfujid

[lostintransist]

This Bunny Bites - Part 3

I managed to post part 4 before part 3 so that has been fixed now and updated. Enjoy!

When you finally settle into bed the clock on your nightstand reads four AM. It had been a relatively quiet night after Johnny and company left, only a few spilled drinks and one guy who got way too into the fact he could touch the girls. You would always be grateful that the owner paid for a cleaning service to come in every morning and deep clean the building instead of making you girls do any of the cleaning. You had a gig once that made you clean after all the clients had gone. It took one puddle of cum in the bathroom for you to leave and never come back to that job.

You set your alarm for one PM and drift off to sleep listening to the rain sounds from your phone.

When you wake you shuffle out of your room into the small kitchen of your condo, flicking on the coffee machine. You sit tweak the blinds in the living room just enough to let in some light and sit on the couch staring into nothingness. Once the sound of running water stops you stand and shuffle to the the kitchen. After adding just the right amount of creamer you head back to your room. You adjust the curtains in here too until you can see but not be blinded.

Placing your coffee on the bedside table you grab your phone and fire off a text to your best friend.

‘Guess who showed up at the club last night?’

‘Was it Satan?’ Cara’s reply comes right through.

‘Nope, worse.’

‘Worse than Satan, but your father is dead so…your grandpa??’

You laugh out loud at the grandpa comment, your mother’s father happened to be the sweetest old man two lived hours away from you in a nursing home.

‘My brother.’

The ringing of your phone doesn’t shock you. You slid it open and answered Cara’s call.

“Bitch what the fuck did you just text me? Your BROTHER came to the club last night? The brother that abandoned you to the scum-eating, walnut fucking, monster of a sperm donor?” Cara must not have been at work if she was using her favorite insults.

“Yep, that’s the one. He was there in a group and didn’t recognize me when I came by to get orders.” You slurp a sip of coffee, feeling Cara flinch across the line at the noise.

“God, what did you do?” she stressed the last word.

“I kicked him and his friends out, obviously. He acted all shocked when I told him to get the fuck out, claimed he hadn’t done anything. Took me full naming him and calling myself his baby sister before he recognized me.”

Cara doesn’t interrupt but adds whispered commentary through the whole tale.

“I have never seen a human go so pale before Cara. I almost laughed, but I kept it together. Told him to get out or get thrown out and then one of his friends stood up, threw some money on the table, and basically forced my brother out the door. The two other friends he was with also dropped some money on the table and followed him out. The weird thing though is that when I totaled up what they had left on the table it was eight hundred dollars.”

“Eight,” Cara choked on air. “They left you eight hundred dollars for kicking them out?”

You shrug despite knowing she can’t see you, “I don’t know man, that’s just it. I can’t think of any good reason they would leave such a big tip!”

Cara whistled, “Damn, that means your what a month closer to your goal of quitting right? My best friend going to become a world-famous author one of these days.”

You smile at her undying support. She had gotten out of dancing after her business degree had landed her a nice six-figure paying job. You pulled down more than that but with most of it in cash, you had to be careful with depositing your money into any bank account.

“Yeah, yeah, yeah. I doubt I will make much money off of writing which is why I need to have enough money so between the rentals and my savings I never have to dance for work or do anything I don’t want to again.” Your dream was to get out, maybe move to the south of France, or Austria, and live out the rest of your days in peace.

“You know I will buy all of your books as soon as they are published,” Cara reminded you.

“I know, I love you too.”

“Good, now I have to get back to work. You free for brunch on Sunday?”

“I will have to check my calendar so text me?”

“Can do doll, love you!”

“Bye,” you hang up feeling more cheerful than before the chat.

You finish your coffee, sifting through your feelings about your brother’s abrupt return, and hope he doesn’t show up again.

Part 2 | Part 4

Masterlist

[strniohoeee]

Labyrinth

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female reader

Synopsis: A numb and addicted y/n can’t seem to understand why her life suddenly feels different. She’s done nothing but move around in her adult years, so why is it now that she feels she can’t pack up and leave anytime soon?

Warnings⚠️: I haven’t written in over a month, so I’m super rusty this might be shitty! Cigarette smoking and mentions, mentions of addiction, mentions of alcohol. I don’t condone smoking or drinking (underage).🖤

Song for imagine: Cigarettes and Coffee- Otis Redding

Its early in the morning

About a quarter ‘til three

I’m sittin here talking with my baby

Over cigarettes and coffee

I was never one to deal with stress easily which led me to deal with it in the worst ways possible. Drinking, smoking, quitting jobs on the spot and even packing up and leaving places…..I know stupid and risky, but I never had that anchor in my life to tell me everything was going to be okay.

If I felt stressed and useless my things were packed and I was on the road to a new state. I think I was on state number 7 in about a year and a half. Who the fuck in their right mind handles stress this way? That was the million dollar question, and I had the answer…. I wasn’t in my right mind…not in the past, not in the present and undoubtedly not in the future.

After my last breakdown I landed in California precisely in Los Angeles, the city of angels. Where all your dreams and aspirations could come true. It just felt like lost paradise to me, but it’s the longest state I’ve ever stood in. For some reason I couldn’t find the power in me to leave when I got stressed. It was as if I had some unforeseen future here….a future of happiness and hope?

But the stress still gnawed at me. Will I ever have a career, will I ever be truly happy, will my parents be proud of me?How am I going to pay for next month's rent?How am I going to pay for next week's groceries?

It was a constant battle and I never severely suffered because I always found a way, but once all that was taken care of the immediate panic started again about how will I be able to do it all in the following weeks.

I started smoking constantly and it was weird because I wasn’t a smoker but I knew I should drink a little less. I only lit a cigarette when the stress was so bad I refused to drink anymore. Not like smoking was any better ruining my lungs rather than my liver….

But the problem was it went from one to two a day to five and on really bad days even up to eight. It was a bad crutch I simply couldn’t pull away from. They were my training wheels and I was so scared that once I let go I’d crash and burn.

I had an addiction and I had no one around me to slap me out of it. Of course I still spoke to my parents, but I just lied about it. I mean there’s truly no one to blame but myself, however all that regret left my mind once a lighter was in my hand and I took a long drag while the cool night breeze brushed against my skin.

I was lucky enough to have found a job almost instantly. It was a cute little coffee shop that had a small selection of books. It was a peaceful and slow paced job. We only really needed two to three people working. So I’d open at 8am and waited for the next girl to clock in at about 11am.

It was a fun job that paid the bills and my horrendous cigarette addiction. I had found a decent studio apartment nearby. But I was always convinced that this would be snatched from under my feet and I should never get comfortable. As you can expect this led to my extreme stress and anxiety.

I didn’t necessarily have friends here, I mean yes I was cool with my coworkers and boss; but we weren’t friends. It was more of a hi, bye situation. It didn’t bother me much. I was always a loner. I never really found people who got me, so I stayed with the only person who did…me.

On my days off I spent a lot of time walking around flea markets, heading into other cafes and even writing. I’d always hoped that one day I’d be a writer. My mind was always running and I figured someone out there might actually relate to and enjoy the words I’d write on a piece of paper.

Today I was actually working a small shift from 8am to 1pm. I was staring blankly at my reflection in the bathroom. Scrubbing my hands and gargling mouthwash. It was 11am and I was coming back from my break.

Spitting the mouthwash into the sink I closed the cap and stuffed the travel size bottle into my purse. Inhaling deeply I looked at myself once again.

“You have got to stop smoking” I replied in a mumble

Slipping my hand blindly into my purse I pulled out my perfume; spritzing myself before shutting the light and heading into the break room to place my purse back.

Slipping my apron on my coworker walked in, clocking in the back as she offered me a smile

“Good morning Y/N” she said as she walked towards me to place her things down

“Good morning K” I stated as I offered a smile back and began to make my way to clock back in

I wasn’t sure why her name was K, it was all over her employee paperwork. She was here before me, so I felt I had no right to ask her for her real name. But it was interesting for someone to just drop the rest of their name and solely go by a singular letter.

After punching back in I walked to the front, not a surprise it was dead. The only people lingering around were the 8am-9am crew. Sighing deeply I decided to clean up a bit.

It was about 12pm now and I was watching the clock anxiously waiting to clock out and run free. Usually I worked 8-4 and sometimes even 8-6. I had a whole day ahead of me and two days off might I add. I felt pretty invincible

Drinking from my water cup the door chimed signaling a customer. Placing the cup down I began to turn around.

“Hi welcome to Mugs” I stated as I turned around

Immediately I was intrigued. I have never seen someone as interesting before. I mean it is LA, so I have seen some interesting stuff; but no he looked different…. And for some reason I couldn’t really look away

Placing his vision glasses on top of his head he squinted his eyes to read the menu. My eyebrow raising.

“You know glasses are meant for you to see things” I said logging into the register as I looked up at him

“I’m sorry?” He said looking at me

“You um…. You put your glasses on your head and then squinted to read” I said pointing above me at the board

“Oh… well these are just blue light glasses. I genuinely can’t really see” he said in an awkward way

“Ohhh well uhh want me to read the menu to you?” I asked laughing a bit

“Oh no it’s fine, I’m not really a coffee drinker” he stated looking at our pastry display

“You do realize you’re in a Coffee shop?” I said jokingly

His mouth opened a bit and then he squinted his eyes

“I am now seeing how ridiculous I look” he said chuckling and shaking his head

“No judgment here” I said sticking my hands up in defense

“I won’t waste your time any more! Can I have a chocolate chip cookie and that bottle of Pepsi” he said pointing behind me at the small fridge

“One Pepsi and one cookie, coming right up” I said checking him out on the screen

Grabbing the cookie and bottle of soda I placed it on the counter and slid it towards him.

“You can tap or insert your card whenever you’re ready” I stated clicking some buttons on my screen

“I’m uhh actually paying cash” he said fishing in his wallet

“Woahhh cash in this century?” I said giggling and fixing the system

“Yeahh I carry a little bit of cash and little bit of card” he said shrugging his shoulders

“A little bit of card….hmm…that’s funny” I said giggling a bit at him

“Well you know what I mean” he says playfully rolling his eyes

“I’m just messing with you” I said shaking my head

Smiling he handed the cash over and grabbed his items

“Keep the change” he said waving with his hand and nodding his head

Walking out the door I couldn’t seem to understand why I had a stupid smile on my face. Putting the cash in the till and placing the change in our tip jar.

Turning around I was met with my two coworkers staring at me with a smirk on their face. I’d never been the spotlight of attention and I’ve never gotten anything other than a good morning from either of them. So my face dropped and I got self conscious

“What?” I said a bit scared as I straightened my posture

“He was totally into you” K stated as she placed the rack of cookies down

“Was not! We were just making friendly conversations” I said opening the pastry shelf and putting some cookies in

“No no I agree with K we’ve had a lot of guys come in here, but this is the first time I’ve seen a guy like utter more than two words to you and he was totally geeking out” Delilah stated

“Totally! That kid was blushing like crazyyy” K stated as she grabbed the now empty tray and began to walk back towards the kitchen

“Guys come on! It was just friendly banter” I said shutting the pastry door

“Delilah knows her shit too, that’s how Danny and I got together” K stated from the kitchen

“Shut up! No way” I said rolling my eyes

“Sure did! As soon as we had an interaction K told me he’d be back for my number, and that was three years ago” K replied

“You just got lucky this was nothing but mere coincidence” I replied back to them

“You’ll see girl” Delilah stated as she began to make herself a coffee

Playfully rolling my eyes I checked the clock, I had about 10 minutes till my shift was over. I decided to make myself a drink.

As I made my iced latte I began to wonder. I didn’t really have many interactions with guys, but I think I’d know if someone was flirting with me.

It just felt like a friendly banter with an awkwardly shy….nerdy guy. Laughing to myself I finished making my drink.

“Alright girls I’m going to clock out now” I stated as I walked to the back

Punching out and grabbing my things I slid my apron off and grabbed my drink. Heading towards the front of the cafe

I waved bye to the girls as I took a sip.

“Have a good day girls” I said as I walked out

I had the whole day ahead of me and I didn’t even know what I wanted to do. My job was near a pier where I could always sit down and watch people.

Before heading to the pier I decided to stop for some food. Heading into a small restaurant I sat down. Taking my book out of my purse I began to write. I hadn’t written in two weeks and it felt wrong.

Ghosting my hand over the paper, my mind just kept going blank. I couldn’t form a proper sentence and my mind began to race again. Thinking back on that boy I began to think about my love life.

Honestly I didn’t really have one, I was more of a hopeless romantic. Often watching rom coms and rolling my eyes at how unrealistic that love was. I’m sure it was tangible, but I was just a sour puss.

I longed for a relationship like that to always know you’ll have someone there for you loving you unconditionally. To be with someone through sickness and in health. I was only 22, but it seemed to me that everyone around me already had that amazing soulmate. I was very clearly late to the game and I wasn’t sure if I’d ever find someone to love. I wasn’t even sure I was lovable myself.

Then again I never put myself out there, but times have changed. It's not that easy. Guys have become so shitty and all they care about it sex. But it’s like what about getting to know the person deep down.

Not once has a guy ever asked me my dreams and aspirations, where do I see myself in five years? What are my biggest goals in life? What’s my biggest fear….. I lost all hope for love by the time I was 18.

Reading romantic stories and watching these shows and movies definitely added salt to the wound.

I hadn’t realized how much I was writing till my hand began to cramp. Looking up I realized it was no longer daytime.

“Shit” I muttered under my breath

Slamming my book shut I paid my bill and began to gather my things. Walking out of the restaurant I stepped out onto the golden street. It was about 5:45 and I really couldn’t understand how that much time had passed.

I think that’s why I enjoy writing the most, I’m so far gone in my own world it’s like I’m frozen and the world around me continues to move.

Walking towards the pier it was surprisingly empty at this time. Breathing in the salty air I sat down on a bench. Watching the ocean I let the breeze blow through my hair.

Digging in my purse I pulled out my pack of American Spirits. Sighing deeply I pulled a cigarette out. As soon as I grabbed my lighter all the regret washed away from me.

Placing the white object in between my lips I flicked the lighter a few times before a glowing flame appeared before me. Guarding the flame from the wind I brought it closer.

Inhaling as I lit the cigarette all my worries washed away. This was only my second cigarette of the day and I somehow felt accomplished.

Kicking the gravel underneath me I took a long drag, exhaling I got up. Walking over to the edge of the pier I decided to sit down allowing my legs to hang off the edge.

I wasn’t 100% sure I could do this, but it’s worth a shot I thought to myself. Leaning my chin on the railing I took another drag as I stared into the sunset.

Life was so beautiful and I wasn’t sure why I was so sad and numb all the time. I took a lot for granted and I hated it.

I really needed to stop smoking.

“You know those things will kill you” I heard from behind me

My brows began to furrow as I took a drag

“I’m sorry?” I said annoyed as I looked behind me, blowing the smoke out through my nose as my face dropped

“You shouldn’t smoke” he said again with a cheeky smile on his face

Meeting eyes with the same guy from the cafe made my heart skip a beat and my throat go dry.

“Squinting your eyes is also bad for you” I said putting the cigarette out

“Won’t kill me though” he said shrugging his shoulders

“You never know” I said shrugging my shoulders and standing up

His eyes followed me as I got up and it was only then did I feel super self conscious about this whole situation. My embarrassment turned a bit into anger.

“Anyways you drink Pepsi, so that for sure will kill you” I said as I dusted my pants off

“Guess we’ll both be dead then” he replied

“Wow you’re super blunt” I said scoffing

“Sorry! I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come off rude. I was just playfully teasing” he said looking nervous

Looking at him for a split second and I sniffed and then rolled my eyes

“It’s fine. It’s a bad habit anyways” I replied shrugging my shoulders

“We all have bad habits we’re not proud of” he said in a whisper

“Are you uhh following me?” I asked him cocking an eyebrow

“What? No oh my god no! I was just walking and I thought you looked super familiar” he replied putting his hands up in defense

“I’m just teasing you” I said giggling

“I’m Matt” he replied placing his hand out for me to shake

“I’m Y/N” I stated as I shook his hand

“It’s nice to formally meet you” he said awkwardly

“Yeah” I replied awkwardly

“I’ll uh… ill let you go on about your business. Maybe I’ll see you around” He said

“Well you know where to find me” I said smiling at him

Opening my bag I was digging around for my phone before successfully pulling it out.

“Right, well have a good evening” he said and waved shyly

“I’ll see you round Matt” I replied

Going our separate ways I looked down at my phone, 6:55pm…. Sighing, I walked back to my car close to the cafe and drove home.

Shuffling up the stairs I pushed my apartment door open after unlocking it. Making note that I must call the maintenance guy because that door needs some WD40 badly.

Locking the door I turned my lights on. Today just felt strange like I couldn’t put my finger in exactly what the fuck was going on.

Walking over to my patio I opened the sliding door and stepped out. Taking in the evening breeze my mind just went blank.

Stepping back inside I grabbed my purse, grabbing my lighter I shuffled my hand around my purse to feel for my pack of cigarettes. But my brows furrowed when I didn’t feel the square container.

Walking over towards the light I opened my bag more and looked inside. An annoyed feeling washed over me as I couldn’t find the box. I mean honestly good because I did not need anymore.

Still searching as if the box was going to magically appear. I groaned soon realizing I must’ve left them on the bench and they are for a fact long gone by now.

Throwing my lighter back into my purse I groaned and sat on my couch. The one time I desperately need a cigarette I fucking left it on the pier.

I cut that night short with a 80s movie marathon and left over pizza as a midnight snack.

remembering that tomorrow I had to stop into the cafe to pick up my paycheck. We’re living in a very digital world right now and my job still does paper checks….

Groaning at that I decided to call it a night….

The End

Okayyy IVE BEEN GONE FOR SOOO FUCKING LONG. And I’m sooo sorry it’s just life has been so crazy since March! However this was the end of part 1….stay tuned for more🥺🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[amnevitahwritesstuff]

The Pretty Woman AU no one asked for.

Fandom: A Court of Thorns and Roses

Pairing: Feyre/Rhysand

Rating: Explicit

Triggers: Prostitution, Older Man/Younger Woman

Chapters: 1, 3, 4 (WIP)

AO3 Link

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Chapter Two: If I Had a Little Money

The morning brings with it confusion. 

It took Feyre a few moments to realize where she was when she woke up. She knew almost immediately that this wasn’t her bed. For starters, her bed wasn’t nearly so comfortable. So where…?

She saw white sheets. Pretty cream wallpaper. And a floor to ceiling window that showed off a dazzling city skyline. 

It all came rushing back then. 

She had…! And then she…! And he had…!

She felt dizzy. 

It almost didn’t feel real. Like the events of the night before had happened to someone else. 

To Vivian. 

Vivian had been confident. Vivian has been sexy. Vivian had been enthusiastically willing to jump into bed with a stranger and get paid for it. 

Feyre finally spied her purse, carefully laid out on the bedside table, and snatched it up to look inside. There, nestled safely where she’d stowed it the night before, was all the money she had earned. She counted it to be sure and, yep, all eight-thousand dollars was accounted for. She would be able to pay her landlord. Buy groceries. Maybe even have a nice buffer for when her sister inevitably didn’t show up to pay her half of the rent next month. 

She…she needed to go to the bank. She needed to get this deposited and safely out of her hands as quickly as possible. Knowing her luck, she would get mugged on her way home. No. Better to get it locked up in a vault somewhere. 

It didn’t take long for her to gather her meager belongings. Her purse. Her ratty converse. Her hoop earrings that she didn’t even remember taking off (had she taken them off? She must have…). And then tip toeing to the bedroom door looking for the exit. 

The man from the night before (Rhys, her brain reminded her helpfully) stood with his back to her, quietly speaking on the phone, as he leaned on the kitchen island. 

“No that won’t work. I have something I need to take care of first.”

Shit. 

How was she supposed to get out of here? Didn’t people usually just expect prostitutes to…walk out? She had the money. He’d gotten what he wanted…right? This transaction was over and now it was time for her to make like a banana and split. 

So then why did she feel so awkward about the idea of walking out without saying goodbye?

Clearly she wasn’t as cut out for this sex worker thing as she thought. 

Too late, Rhys had turned and noticed her. He smiled at her warmly, as if she were a beloved guest instead of his late-night booty call. 

Fuck. 

“Listen, I’ll check back with you soon,” he said quickly into his phone. “Just move the meeting up.” Then he ended the call and tossed the (very expensive looking) phone onto the counter while his eyes zeroed in on her. 

“Umm…hi.” Feyre wanted to smack herself. She sounded like an awkward teenager. 

You are an awkward teenager, a traitorous voice in her head replied. 

“Going so soon?” 

“Well…yeah…” she trailed off meaningfully. They were done…weren’t they? He had only paid for the night after all. And he couldn’t meaningfully argue it still was what with all the morning sunshine streaming in through the giant hotel windows. 

“Do you have somewhere to be?” 

“I…umm…I mean, I should probably go to the bank…”

He stared at her then. In the morning light, she really could almost be convinced his eyes were purple…they were just so…blue. Like a night sky just after the last rays of sun had sunk beneath the horizon. 

“What if…what if I bought you out for the rest of the week?”

Feyre blinked. 

She opened her mouth. Then she closed it. Then she opened it again. This was the part where she told him ‘no thank you’ and got the fuck out of dodge. She had her money. Nearly ten grand of it. She wouldn’t have to worry about bills for at least a few months. 

And yet all she managed to get out was, “I think I need to sit down.”

She sat on the floor. 

Rhys suddenly looked a little panicked. 

“Are you feeling alright?! Do you need anything?!”

Strangely, this actually made her feel a little better. If he was being awkward about this too, then it actually put them on somewhat more equal footing. 

“I’m fine,” she began. “I just…why?”

“Why what?”

“Why me? Why an entire week? That’s…that’s a lot of money.”

Rhys shrugged. “I can afford it.” 

She thought of the eight-thousand dollars burning a hole in her purse. Yeah. She just bet he could. 

“But…you’re…you,” she argued, waving at his expensive suit and model-ready cheekbones like this explained everything. “You could have anyone. For free.”

He cocked his head at her curiously. Almost amused. 

“Could I have you for free?”

“Well…no,” Feyre admitted. What she didn’t tell him was that he probably could…if she wasn’t so fucking desperate and poor. 

He shrugged, as if he had expected that. “Then you can have the money and I can have your company. Besides,” he added with what could only be described as a sly smile. “I’m here on business for the week. You need money. I need someone pretty on my arm for all the work functions I’ll be forced to attend. Everyone wins.” 

“So you don’t just want me for…you know…” her cheeks darkened, much to her horror. This man’s hand had been inside of her and yet she couldn’t even say the word ‘sex’ to him out loud? God, what did he even see in her?

He grinned and crouched down to her level. “I wouldn’t say no…but I’ll leave that up to you. No, you just be your charming little self and you’ll more than earn your keep.” 

She didn’t know what to say to that. Her? Charming? Had he hit his head last night? 

Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth, she thought. 

“Okay.”

Rhys looked beyond thrilled by this answer, though she couldn’t imagine why. 

“Now,” he said genially, reaching forward to tuck a stray hair behind her ear. Feyre tried not to shiver. “What do you say about us getting you some new clothes?”

• $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ •

There were things she needed to take care of first. 

Like calling into work. 

“Hey Gabe…” she began, already dreading this conversation. “A family emergency came up and I’m going to need to take the rest of the week off.”

She wasn’t about to tell him the truth, that she actually needed to spend the week at a millionaire’s beck and call to make ten times her monthly income. She was sure that wouldn’t have gone over well, so family emergency it was. 

“Fey, honey, really?” She frowned. She hated that nickname. “We’re slammed over here. We need you!”

“I’m sorry, but it’s an emergency. There’s nothing I can do,” Feyre said firmly. And then, because she was a pushover, “I’ll make up the hours next week.”

“But we need you now.”

“Well,” she said, frustrated, “I have an emergency now. You’re just going to have to deal.”

“I can’t believe you would do this to us,” Gabe scoffed, laying on the guilt trip. 

“I’ve never taken time off before,” she pointed out. And it was true. She hadn’t. Not once in the three years that she had worked for him. Not even when she’s gotten the plague and had run a fever so high her sisters had nearly sent her to the hospital. “And I’m not asking.” 

Her boss grumbled some more about ‘staffing shortages’ and ‘peak hours’ but she knew she had him. He may bitch and moan about how much she was ‘letting the team down’ but he wouldn’t dare fire her over this. She was too good of a worker to risk losing. 

Once she made her excuses and disconnected the call, she wandered back out into the living area to find Rhys lounging on one of the couches (the same one he’d fingered her on), typing away on his phone. She sat down next to him. 

“So…” she said. “I…still need to go to the bank. To deposit all this.” She gestured to her purse. 

“I’ll have someone drive you,” Rhys said, still typing something on his phone. “What bank do you use?” 

“Umm…Bank of America?” Feyre said automatically, taken aback by the question. 

“And your account and routing numbers?”

She stared. 

“…Why do you need those?” She asked suspiciously. 

“So I can wire you your money.” He said simply. 

“…Oh.” 

“How does twenty grand sound?”

Feyre nearly swallowed her tongue. 

• $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ •

Later, after she got herself back under control, he gave her a card. 

A black card. 

Feyre may have been poor, but even she knew what a black AmEx card was. She held it gingerly, the way one would a live grenade. 

“Do I have a budget?” She had asked. 

Rhys had just laughed. 

So here she was an hour later, card in hand, standing outside a boutique she’d been ushered to by Rhys’s chauffeur and a personal shopper named Claire. 

“Is there any particular style we’re going for?” She had asked her in the car and Feyre had only been able to stare at her blankly. The only ‘style’ she had ever been known to exhibit was ‘cheap’ and ‘my father bought this for me in middle school and somehow I still fit into it’. Style was for people who had disposable income. And she was definitely not one of those people. 

Or, she thought dazedly, maybe she was now?

As they entered the boutique, Claire took charge like a general rallying her troops. Immediately, half a dozen impeccably dressed saleswomen appeared to do her bidding. One of them spied the black card in Feyre’s hand and the look in her eyes could only be described as predatory. 

Feyre gulped. 

The next several hours were a whirlwind of Feyre trying on a bevy of beautiful designer clothes (with price tags that gave her heart palpitations) while Claire barked orders to everyone who would listen. Occasionally Feyre found herself trying something on she thought looked perfectly fine only for the other woman to shake her head in frustration. 

“No, not that one. It’s too last season.” 

She had no idea what that even meant but at this point Feyre had grown rather scared of this woman so she had dutifully taken the outfit off in favor of the next. 

The only time she had found herself putting her foot down was when Claire had tried to veto a leather jacket she had liked. 

“No,” Feyre said quickly, clutching the jacket to her chest. “I’d like to keep this one.”

Claire just seemed confused. “It doesn’t really fit with the aesthetic we’re going for.” 

“That’s fine.”

Everything else that had been approved and then ferried off (to be packed up and sent to the hotel she later found out) had followed the pattern of being very…sophisticated. Gorgeous beaded ballgowns, crisp white blouses, cinched pencil skirts, red bottomed heels, all of it seemed tailored to an image of a woman Claire seemed to think Rhys needed at his side. And Feyre was fine with that. She certainly had no idea what kind of woman Rhys needed on his arm. 

But this jacket was also the first thing that seemed…her. The real her. And if she got anything out of this strange business arrangement she’d like it to be something that she could actually wear again after this was all over. 

Claire shrugged. 

“Alright.”

She directed someone to take the jacket so it could be added to the pile of approved clothes and then Feyre was back to being shoved into another extravagant dress. 

She sighed. 

Finally, when all was said and done, Feyre found herself to be the owner of a dozen new outfits, various accessories, far too many shoes, and all the while wondering how on earth she was expected to wear all of this in a single week. 

When the total was read out, she tried very hard not to have a heart attack then and there. Wincing, she handed over Rhys’s black card and watched the saleswoman swipe it with a bit too much relish. 

At least someone was enjoying themselves. 

• $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ • $ •

Her last errand was the most important of all. 

“Here, Miss?” The chauffeur confirmed a little skeptically as he pulled up in front of her run down apartment complex. 

“Yep. This is it. I promise I’ll only be gone for a second.” Then she was climbing out of the car and sprinting into her apartment as quickly as possible. 

Thankfully, her landlord’s door was conveniently near the front exit. She banged on it a few times and was soon rewarded with a rumpled look middle aged man poking his head out. 

“Feyre,” he said her name the way one would to a misbehaving child. “You here with my money?”

“Actually,” she smiled, pulling out a stack of bills. “I am.”

[jennycalendar]

ok i texted people it has to be a post now everyone has to know that this happened. to me today. i am on my first day post-finals and as anyone who has been around for a minute knows i have had to literally claw at absolutely everything to get myself through the last eight months with job + classes happening at the same time as adjusting to a move AND adjusting to a really fucked up life realization that i realized only through deliberately putting myself in the torment nexus to "see what would happen" (the answer is that it's Bad). so today already has been this place of -- i am doing literally anything i want today, and what i want is to not clean the house and play video games and order in. and so i ordered from this indian place i love (wonderful) and added on a whim a slice of chocolate cake, and paid $6 for that slice of chocolate cake, which i felt was a solid price considering that this was a slice of cake i had really really enjoyed when trying it for the first time at a work event. and my "really really enjoyed" is A Lot because i get Super Emotional about dessert, just generally. closed my eyes mid work lunch and had a meditative moment with that cake.

ANYWAY. the place charged me the appropriate price of six american dollars for that slice of chocolate cake and instead of a slice of chocolate cake sent me . A Whole Fucking Cake. i got A Whole Fucking Cake. that i know i love. that i can have for an extremely late breakfast and probably also leftover dessert stretching far into the future. was literally thinking wistfully to myself that i'm a little tired of ice cream. this is the most loving kiss from the universe that i've ever received. i am losing it a little. called my father with my voice shaking like this cake , cost me , six dollars,

[sleepyburito]

fto rewrite incorrect quotes

rewriting one of my comfort mcrp's and I made these as well:

Inspired by @leaf-in-a-flower-garden to share these

Dragon Slayers

Blake: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Bryan: “Struggle with depression” would seem to imply that I am bad at being depressed when I am, in fact, very proficient at being depressed.

Mori: Seek always accuses me of having a favourite but that’s not true. Mori: I love Blake and all the not-Blakes equally.

*Bryan teaching Blake to drive and taking Davis along for the ride* Bryan: That's a pothole. To the left! Blake: Take it back now y'all *Drives into pothole* Davis, sticking their face into the front over the center console: Cha Cha real smooth. Blake: I don't think that's how the song goes. Bryan, crying and gripping the handle: Please just take me home. Blake: Country Roads. Davis: To the place. Blake and Davis in unison: I Belong! Bryan, crying harder: What the fuck?

Bryan: Viper, I need some advice. Viper: You need advice from ME? Bryan: Yeah, frightening, isn't it?

Mario: Blake has no survival skills, her need to win has replaced them. Bryan: That can't be true! Mario: Watch this. Mario: Hey Blake, race you to the bottom of the stairs! Blake: *Throws herself out a window*

Blake: What did you order this morning? Davis: What do you mean? Blake: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food

Viper: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this? Bryan: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Colin: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Seek: ...What???

Mori: I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses. Colin: The big five licenses? Mori: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

Blake: What the fuck? People actually tell their crushes they like them?? Mario: What the hell do you do? Blake: I die? What kinda question…

Blake: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED! Blake: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY! Bryan: Blake just threw a tantrum about a chair. Bryan: I just won Blake Tantrum Bingo.

Mori, trying to comfort Mania: What's the problem? Anxiety? Low self-esteem? Obsessive thoughts of random arson? I've been there.

Viper, on the phone: Uh. . Hey, Mario, i uh, I’ve been stabbed. Bryan: WHAT? WHERE ARE YOU? Viper: Wait- You aren’t Mario. Sorry- I didn’t mean to call you- Bryan: NO, WHERE ARE YOU? IM COMING THERE. IM NOT GOING TO LEAVE SOMEONE ALONE THATS BEEN STABBED.

Mori: Ask me anything. Go ahead, I'll give you a straight answer. Blake: Why are we so fucking awesome? Mori: That's the best fucking question anybody's ever asked.

Divinus Magia 

Mario, to Inmo: One universe, nine planets, seven seas, seven continents, and I had the unfortunate luck of meeting you. Blake: Hey, that’s not very nice- Inmo: There are only eight planets, you uncultured swine! Blake, forgetting about Mario: VIVA LA PLUTO, FUCK YOU!

Lara: Who would you kill out of the four of us, Mario? Mario: David, easily. David, laughing: What the fuck, man. Mario: Well, Furan would be too easy. He’d probably be into it. Furan, now standing in the doorway: What the fuck, man!?

Brandon: I’ve invited you here because I crave the deadliest game... David, nodding: Knife Monopoly. Brandon: I was actually going to play Russian roulette, but now I'm really interested in whatever knife Monopoly is.

Furan: What do you do for a living? Ritchie: I exist against my will.

Ritchie: I failed my safety training course today. Blake: Why, what happened? Ritchie: Well one of the questions was "In case of a fire, what steps would you take?" Blake: And? Ritchie: Well apparently "FUCKING LARGE ONES" isn't an acceptable answer.

David: Yo! I heard you like reptiles, got any fun facts? Blake: If a dragon eats your dad, they become your new dad.

Lucas: What do you want for breakfast, Blake? Blake: Gay Cheerios. Lucas: I TOLD YOU TO STOP CALLING FRUIT LOOPS THAT!!

Devin: My level of gay has reached “sighing deeply whenever anything extremely heterosexual happens near me”.

Lucas: Someone care to explain why we have 6 dogs in our guild hall? Inmo: They're golden retrievers, dude. They retrieve gold. I did this for us.

Devin: Why are you smiling? Brandon: What? I can’t just be happy? David: Ritchie tripped and fell in the parking lot.

Blake: Can I have a private talk with you? Furan: Okay, as long as it’s not about tampons because I just don’t understand them.

Kit: Not to be nsfw but I want someone to hold me while I sleep.

Devin, sleep deprived: Why's it called an oven when you of in the cold food and you of out hot eat the food? Ritchie: ...What???

Inmo: Blake, say aluminum again. It's the entire source of my serotonin during these trying times. Blake: *sigh* Only for you, buddy. Alyoouminnieeum. Blake: Self-care is suppressing all your trauma until it comes back and hits you in the face with the force of 7 very large trucks.

[koiyan-hades-kid-with-a-system]

Camp/Underworld Quotes #6

Koiyan, making exotic wines and meads: Be the wine experimenter they said. It'll be fun they said.

Cory, helping them bottle the wines: Wtf is a star fruit?

Koiyan, done with their pale white ass not knowing 90% of the exotic fruits they know: Questions later, bottling now.

-

Dionysus, seeing Koiyan make wines with ease: ...Are you sure you're not my child?

Koiyan, making rice wine on the roof: It's just the Vietnamese in me.

-

Other kids, getting wasted easily, looking at Koiyan: How come you're not a Dionysus kid and not drunk at this point?

Koiyan, been drinking since she was 2 years old: Experience

Other kids: How?

Koiyan: Vietnam has no legal drinking age. Kids start drinking usually at 10-12 there. My mortal step-father did.

-

Cory: Why rice wine?

Koiyan, taste testing the rice wine: It's what my area of Vietnam is known for.

-

Koiyan: When I die I want Cory to lower me into my grave so they can let me down one last time.

-

Zagreus: I'm gonna get my pilot's license. I've already got a driver's license and a cosmetology license, that's two of the big five licenses.

Koiyan: The big five licenses?

Zagreus: Driver's license, cosmetology license, pilot's license, fishing license, and… license to kill! I can't wait to get that one.

-

Zagreus, helping Thanatos dispose the bodies Koiyan made: You stole my Adamant Rail for this.

Koiyan: The alters wanted violence and Ares told us to help with the war.

-

Zagreus: What state do you live in?

Thanatos: Constant anxiety.

Cory: Denial.

Koiyan: Perfection.

Cyrilla, pointing to all of the camp: NEW YORK! WE'RE ALL IN NEW YORK LONG ISLAND.

-

Koiyan: I’ve become a bread crumb dealer to four crows at the lake. They pay me with a bit of everything. Like shiny things, fabric, or pens. But recently they paid me with a 20 dollar bill they found somewhere. So I decided to buy them some more expensive bread. They loved it. So they understand what to do. Give me money. I’ve probably racked up about 200 dollars at this point. Is it morally wrong though, I mean. They’re the ones who steal the money from others. Or perhaps they just have a big pile laying somewhere. Should I keep on doing this?

Cory: You sound like the start of a Batman villain.

Koiyan, now being flocked by crows: More like the crazy bird lady from Home Alone 2

-

Koiyan: I think you're still suffering the effects of your party last night.

Nico: All I drank was Redbull!

Koiyan: How many?

Nico: Eighteen.

Koiyan: I'm getting Will-

-

Cyrilla: Whose turn is it to give the pep-talk before capture the flag?

Koiyan: *sighing* Zagreus.

Zagreus, now hanging around camp and is now a camp counselor: Fuck shit up out there, but don’t die.

Cory: *wiping away a tear* So inspirational.

-

Cyrilla: *is hugging Koiyan*

Thanatos: Hey! It's my turn to hug Koiyan!

Thanatos: *grabs Koiyan*

Zagreus: *kicking down the door* What do you mean, "yOuR tUrN"? We agreed now is my time slot!

Cyrilla: No, It's still my turn!

Koiyan: *suffocating* Guys, I love you, but just because I'm the smallest doesn't mean you can be hugging me constantly!

Thanatos: But we need the moral support!

Cyrilla: And you're small! Which is cute!

Zagreus: If I don't hug you right now I think the depression will kick in and my body will stop functioning.

Koiyan: *close to tears* Well- I, I guess.

-

Koiyan, at the slightest provocation: I came into this earth screaming and covered in someone else's blood and and I'm not afraid to leave the same way.

Zagreus, knowing its her cycle: Want chocolate?

Koiyan, about to cry: Yes please.

-

Koiyan: *Plays Slender: The Eight Pages*

*Jumpscare*

Koiyan, the only Asian in the group: *Jumps back* OH SHIT, IT'S A WHITE GUY!!!

Cyrilla: Do you mean me?

Koiyan: Not this time

-

Koiyan, to Cory: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Cory: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Koiyan: You just told me you're pregnant.

Thanatos: Congratulations Cory, you're glowing!

Cyrilla: Who's the unlucky guy?

Koiyan: Estoy rodeado de idiotas (I am surrounded by idiots)

-

Cory: Where's Zagreus?

Koiyan: Don't worry, I'll find them.

Koiyan, shouting: Thanatos sucks!

Zagreus, distantly: Thanatos is the best person ever! Fuck you!

Koiyan: Found them.

Thanatos, tearing up: Babe...

[thelightsandtheroses]

Call It What You Want: Chapter 2 - let me put my lips to something

Pairing: Frankie Morales x female reader (she’s Tom Davis’ half-sister, however there are no physical descriptions)

Summary: Tom Davis’ younger half-sister never expected to move back to Florida, but eight months after her brother’s untimely death and in the wake of her, in hindsight, ill-advised marriage ending, here she is. Frankie Morales is trying to get it together after his relapse on returning to Florida led to the breakdown of his relationship. His priorities now are finding his own place so he doesn’t need to sleep on Pope’s couch, maintaining sobriety, spending more time with his daughter and getting his pilot’s licence back. So when the two of them end up sharing an apartment, it seems like the ideal solution. However, things are never that simple, are they?

Chapter Warnings: Minors DNI (18+ only), language, discussions of drug abuse and addiction, allusions to a previously abusive relationship (not detailed or specified), discussions of death, PTSD.

Notes – thanks for your patience with this one. The chapter title is from Eat Your Young by Hozier.

Word Count: 4.8 k

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Frankie

Frankie curls his hands around the paper cup, his feet tapping the floor.  He’s been thinking about flying again.

It’s been more than nine months since he flew last and he’s not even sure if he should count Colombia. If the helicopter crashes and everything turns to shit, are those miles you want to log?

If he’d just been firmer, if he’d realised Tom was lost in dollar bills and they were all heading the same way. He was the one who’d been to flight school, he knew the weight was a problem.

He could have stopped it.

He could have been slower to the trigger; he could have done it all differently.

No.

No, this was spiralling. This isn’t healthy. Frankie straightens in his chair, takes a deep breath.

If he was more like Will, he’d probably know exactly what number NA meeting this was now. Whatever number it is, it’s too many.

The meeting finally draws to a close. Finally!

Frankie is not sharing today. He has, in the past, but it’s been carefully selected. Frankie offers a creative reimagining of his relapse that removes all criminal liability from the events of the past year, to protect the people he has left. Besides, how would he even start to explain what had happened to anyone who wasn’t there?

It’s frustrating sometimes. He hears people share about terrible childhoods and difficult upbringings and all these things that somehow don’t legitimatise addiction but explain it.

Frankie Morales grew up with loving, if a little stifling, parents and no deep dark childhood trauma. He supposes the army is where it all started to change.

What a fucking cliche.

Maybe you can never really come back from who they make you. He thinks of Will’s paid speeches, of the way he just owns the fact they’ve been trained to manipulate, assess, take your emotions out of the equation. They don’t die though; they just get locked away and weigh heavier and heavier.

Frankie understands how the meetings help him overall, why they’re important but sometimes they don’t work. Sometimes all they do is make him feel like he shouldn’t be there, or they pull his weaknesses out in front of him like teeth with pliers. It’s bloody, painful, unnecessary. Every one of his ghosts will sit in the room with him on those days, silently judging.

Frankie takes a deep breath, shuts his eyes, and tries to pay attention to the rest of the meeting.

Frankie pushes Gaby on the swing further, waving at Santiago as he approaches.

The meeting this morning was rough, but Frankie’s already feeling better. He has his daughter with him gleefully smiling and laughing in the playground. He has one of his best friends back, things are starting to look up. He’s making it through this.

Santiago walks over, slaps his hand on Frankie’s back. “Oh, I see how it is,” he jokes, casting his eye around the playground which is filled with the usual crowd of mothers and possibly nannies. Like Frankie can tell the difference.  “Hey princesa,” he adds, smiling at Gabby who beams up at him.

“She chose the park,“ Frankie says. 

Santi smirks before asking, ”How’s the apartment working out?”

“It’s good. Glad to have my own bed again, fuck I’m too old to crash on sofas.”

“Tell me about it. Are you getting on okay with Tom’s sister?”

“She has a name.”

“Hey, I like her! Look, Frankie, Molly says she asked questions about what went down with Tom, before she moved out of there so just - be aware of that, okay?”

Rain and storms and too much fucking weight on the helicopter flash through Frankie’s mind. He shouldn’t have listened to Tom; he should have been assertive. That’s always been his problem though, that’s what his dad says, he goes along with the crowd. At school, in the army, with Santi and Tom?

Frankie digs his hands into his pockets. “She hasn’t mentioned shi - anything about it to me, barely mentions Tom actually. I get the sense they weren’t close.”

“Sounds about right. You ever hear Tom talk about her?” Santi scoffs. “Families.”

Frankie looks at his daughter. He thinks of Melissa, how they prioritise Gaby. It hurts, the life he could have had with them and the ideas that died with his relationship. They’re still close to friends though, they look after Gaby. Frankie let both of them down but neither of them have given up on him.

He thinks about what Santi’s just said.  Tom barely ever mentioned his sister, barely ever seemed to even talk to you. It’s weird.

He pushes Gabby on the swing, listens to her happy squeals.

“Can we grab a coffee?” Santi asks, “I’m fu - freaking exhausted.”

“Sure,” Frankie says. He seems to remember the bookstore and coffee shop you work in is a short walk from the park and without thinking about why, he suggests that particular coffee shop rather than the Starbucks down the road. It’s better to support small businesses anyway, right?

It’s different watching you to work to seeing how you are at home. You’re wearing a loose black t-shirt, with a band logo Frankie vaguely recognises but can’t quite place.

When you see the three of them, you smile widely. Frankie’s introduced Gabby to you once when Melissa dropped her off at the apartment. Frankie thinks that she wanted to just verify the apartment was as she hoped, and that she could see Frankie was making the right moves.

He’s trying.

The day after that visit she had texted Frankie to say he could have Gabby overnight there next week if he wanted. He’d spent the rest of his shift beaming and wouldn’t tell anyone why.

You smile at Frankie and Santiago when they walk up to the counter.

Frankie lifts Gabby out of her stroller, balances her on his hip so she can see the counter. Her tiny hands clutch around Frankie’s shoulder and she reaches for Frankie’s cheek.

“Hey guys, and good morning, Gabby,” you say as Gabby giggles and then buries herself in Frankie’s shoulder.

“How’s the bookstore and coffee world?” Santi asks, that wry smile Frankie recognises all too well on his face. His voice is honeyed, his whole face has lit up in a way that Frankie’s watched so many girls fall into blushing giggles over. Frankie’s never quite been able to do that; it’s not that he’s necessarily had issues attracting women, and God that feels arrogant to think, it’s more that of his group of friends, well it’s hard to compete with them sometimes.

“Same as ever,” you say breezily, “Where’d you end up then, the park or the zoo?”

“Gabby chose the park.”

“Atta girl. So, what can I get you?”

“An Americano and then another Americano with one extra shot of coffee, right Frankie, and a-” Santi looks over at Gabby and then Frankie expectantly.

“She’s not even two, Santi, she’s not drinking coffee.”

“Hey, I’ve seen how much coffee you drink, I’m surprised that’s not genetically built into her.“

Frankie laughs, but his hairs stand up on his neck. He’s thought about it a lot already - what if his daughter inherits his addictive personality, how can he do that to her.

“Babycino?” you ask suddenly, breaking him out of his reverie, “I’m guessing she’s too young for hot chocolate?“

“Yeah, yeah, that would be great, thanks.”

“No problem, give me two minutes.”

You turn away and start making the drinks as Santi reaches for Gabby’s hand, smiling at her widely.

“You settling in okay?” Santi asks you as Frankie tries to distract Gabby from the cakes in the display.

“Yeah, things have been good,” you say cheerfully, handing the first coffee to Frankie. “I’m taking it you’re the extra shot, Frankie?”

Frankie nods.

“How much do I owe you?” Frankie asks, placing his cup down so he can reach for his wallet cautiously as Gaby squeezes around his neck. He doesn’t want to disturb her too much, doesn’t want to show how awkward this position is for him.

“It’s fine.”

“No, no, I can -” He can’t take advantage of his roommate like this.

“Eh, roommate and friend discount,” you say casually, handing Santiago his takeaway cup of coffee and Frankie a small cup of steamed milk for Gabby; this must be the babycino, Frankie thinks.

“What about her?” Santiago asks, pointing at Gabby who grins widely from Frankie’s arms.

“Oh, like I could charge her anything,” you reply, smiling back at Gabby and then meeting Frankie’s eyes. “You’ve got a special kid there, Frankie.”

“Don’t I know it,” he replies, kissing Gabby’s forehead. “Say thank you for your - I can’t call this a babycino, seriously. Drink, can you say thank you for your drink, honey?”

His daughter giggles and says her version of thank you. Frankie watches how it makes you smile, how he’s noticed when you it’s genuine, you scrunch your nose.

“We’ve got some new books in that she might enjoy,” you say, “If you want to get any of them, let me know and I can use my staff discount.”

“You’re not offering me a book discount?” Santiago asks.

“I just gave you a free coffee! You can afford to pay full price so I can keep my job. Gabby is too young to have an income.”

“That’s not fair,“ Santiago says.

“Life isn’t,” you say lightly, winking at Frankie and then moving on the next customer.

There’s something about you. It draws him in, makes him want to ask more, know more about you. You seem so light around him, Benny and the others and Frankie knows there’s more to you than that. He can see it.

That’s the thing - you can always see it in others, those matching scars and insecurities. It’s a honing beacon, it’s as visible in a stranger’s eyes sometimes as if you are wearing the same football team shirts. We’re the same, it says.

You’re not though. He knows who he is. Frankie is failure and disappointment and regret, all handily tied together in faded t-shirts and too long hair.

Frankie is why your brother is dead.

Frankie is why the mission failed. Santi needed a pilot, one who would stand up and see if the helicopter was too heavy and not back down, who wouldn’t shoot first.

He can be your friend though, surely?

Santi doesn’t say anything to Frankie until the three of them have left the shop, Gabby clutching a brand new book in her stroller while Frankie pushes her with one hand and drinks coffee with the other.

“You’re in trouble, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Frankie asks, suddenly panicked.

“You like her.”

“I live with her, Pope, it helps to like her.”

“Nah, you know what I mean.” Santi stops and touches Frankie’s arm. “Be careful, hermano, please.”

You

Work has been quieter than usual. You spend your days, idly rearranging book displays and experimenting with the coffee grind and tamping, try and perfect your latte art. Making a good cup of coffee is an art; you must get the grind right, then tamp it with just enough pressure. Steaming milk’s the same; it needs to be the right quality, the right amount of air let in, the right swirling vacuum as the process goes on.

You like the routine now. You like talking to customers and reminding yourself of why you loved books in the first place. Academia taught you a lot, skills you use every day and you’re proud of but overanalysing texts sometimes can make you forget why you loved books in the first place. And yes, perhaps you wish more people were actually buying books in the store, but you’re spending your day surrounded by things you love and that’s a luxury.

And oh, you used to love reading. It was the escape from your parents arguing, from a childhood where you felt like an only lonely child because Tom was older and resented you and didn’t want a sister. At least that’s what you’d assumed over the years.

This new life you’re building in Florida; a new job, new and old friends? It feels right, comfortable even.

So, you don’t even notice when Ella starts trying to set you up with the coffee guy.

And when he asks you out one day, you’re so surprised that he would ask you out, that you find yourself saying yes without even thinking about it.

On paper, he’s everything you would look for surely. He’s passionate about coffee, he’s mentioned books he’s reading idly in conversation, he has a good smile and amazing biceps. So, why not say yes? This is part of building your new life, right?

That’s how you find yourself now, walking back into your apartment after what can only be described as an utter disaster, or at least a complete disappointment.

If this is what dating makes you feel like after a divorce, you don’t want any of it.  Your anxiety has run rampant over the last few hours, along with a deepening and worrying sense that the problem is you.

You’re the one who hadn’t felt the connection after all. You’re the one who held back, who just couldn’t bring up the right feelings like a defective clock.

“Hey,” Frankie says, looking up from the sofa as you walk in. You hadn’t anticipated this - you remembered Benny saying that him and Frankie were hanging out tonight which is why you thought you could get away with just sneaking in and had even scheduled this date for tonight. Crap. This makes it even more humiliating.

“How was Benny?” you ask mildly, shrugging your jacket off and hanging it up.

“Yeah, it was uh-” Frankie pauses, “it was good. He’s training for Friday’s fight, are you coming to that?”

“Yeah, think so.” You walk over closer to the sofa.

Frankie’s staring at you. “Oh god, do I - I look stupid, don’t I?” You self-consciously pull the edge of your dress down, wishing that you’d worn something else instead.

“Not at all,” he says, voice low.

“Thanks,” you say as you walk into the kitchen, “drink?”

“Please. So, how’d it go?” Frankie asks. “I take it you didn’t get dressed up like that just to go hang out with your friends.”

“Hey, I could have.”

Frankie holds his hands up. “No judgement here, sweetheart.”

“It was a date,” you confess finally, “I don’t know. It’s weird. I haven’t had to do small talk for years, I don’t know if I like it.”

“I get that.”

It’s easy with your friends; Danny has known you for a long time, Ella is Ella, Benny and Will just get you and there’s no pressure with either of them, you haven’t known Santiago as well but he’s always consistent. As for Frankie, living with him has been surprisingly easy. He’s calm and even and kind - you like living with him now. It feels more natural than living with your ex-husband ever did.

It strikes you that now you count all four of your brother’s former team as your friends - they were your brother’s first, but now, now you wonder if they might be a little bit yours too.

“So other than the small talk, how’d it go?”

“I don’t know,” you confess, “Hey, how long were you and Melissa together again? I kind of remember her vaguely from Tom’s birthdays and barbecues when I was here.” You hope Frankie will take your oh so subtle subject change without argument.

“Five and a half years. What about you?”

“Me and Melissa?” you joke, causing him to roll his eyes dramatically.

“Ha-ha, you know what I mean. I seem to remember he was always around - it was a long time, right?”

“Ten years, married for nine of them.”

“What?” Frankie looks at you almost in surprise. “That’s longer than I thought.”

You shrug and take a sip of your drink. “My date sucked,” you say after a moment.

“Why?”

“I don’t know.  I think there might be something wrong with me?”

“What did that asshole say? What was his name again? Want me to go beat him up?” Frankie asks, a crooked smile on his lips that really shouldn’t be so attractive.

“He didn’t do anything, Frankie, it’s me. I - I should have felt something, right, I mean he was literally gorgeous, right? I should have wanted him.”

When Frankie doesn’t reply, you glare at him and jab his shoulder until he shrugs.

“What are you saying?”

“That I should have wanted to rip his clothes off, but I didn’t though.” This is humiliating. “I mean, shouldn’t there have been butterflies, or even just good old-fashioned lust, or something? Right, there should have been something there? I just felt like we were going through the motions. There was no - I didn’t feel any chemistry.”

Frankie doesn’t reply for a moment and you take the time to really look at him instead. Sometimes when you look at Frankie, you wonder how he’s still single because he’s a good-looking man. In the time you’ve lived the apartment, he’s never been on a date. He hangs out with Santiago, Benny and Will and he does go out to other places, but you’ve never seen him go on a date or bring anyone back. Thankfully. You’re not entirely sure how you would feel about that.

“Look, maybe he just wasn’t your type,” Frankie says after a moment. “You’re being hard on yourself.”

“He was into coffee and he had perfect arms. We liked the same bands. How the hell was he not my type? What is my type but that?”

“Everyone likes Fleetwood Mac.”

“No, they don’t.”

“It was the wrong guy, that’s all. You’ve been single for a while and is this your first date since the break-up, right?”

You nod. “I couldn’t really date at Molly’s and I thought I should wait a while anyway.”

“Exactly so maybe you’ve just got to, I don’t know, see what works, let things flow a bit? When you know, you know. Did you even like him before the date?“

You think about it for a moment and shrug. Ella had encouraged you and if you were honest, you’d just wanted to prove that you were over Nate, over the trauma of that marriage, that this was the new you. Maybe Frankie’s on to something. You should have fancied the guy, but you hadn’t.

Reassurance flushes through your body. You’re not broken, you’re not.

“I don’t think I did fancy him. I thought I should, but no.”

“Yeah, so it would be a shit date. Next time, date a guy you really like, or something. Oh man, look I am really bad at this sort of talk.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Can we pretend I am?” he asks, nudging your arm as you both laugh. “Can we pretend so we never have to discuss this again because I am so out of many comfort zones right now.”

“It’s practice for when Gabby dates.”

“No, because that’s not happening. I’m going to do the whole cliched, polishing my gun on a porch thing, and she’s not gonna date until she’s at least thirty. Plus, if you think I could be intimidating, you should see Mel. Like, no-one has a chance in hell.”

“Uh-huh, sure, Frankie.”

“Dammit.”

You laugh and Frankie shakes his head. ”Hey, I’ve got an episode of our show saved if you want to watch it?”

“Absolutely.”

He presses buttons on the TV remote, sets up the streaming platform and you lean back against the sofa, exhale and finally feel relaxed.

Frankie has an arm over the side of the sofa you’re sitting and before he presses play, he looks over at you.

“I’m glad we did this,” he says, “that we got this apartment. I like living here.”

You feel it then, the slight tightness in your stomach, the unsettled butterflies flitting around.

Oh.

Oh.

This is going to be a disaster.

After your realisation about Frankie, everything feels different. It’s like the world has just shifted slightly off axis but only you know. Frankie is thankfully oblivious and so the next morning, things continue in the steady routine you’ve both formed.

You drop the milk back from your spoon into your cereal bowl as you notice Frankie join you in the kitchen.

“Coffee?” he asks.

“My hero,” you reply, pushing your empty mug towards him for a refill.

He laughs. It’s almost self-deprecating; the way he looks away when you compliment him.

You notice the way his T-shirt rises as he grabs a mug from the top cabinet, you notice the line of hair on his stomach right down to the grey sweatpants he’s wearing.

You can’t do this. You quickly try and remind yourself of all of his annoying habits; he never remembers to leave the toilet seat down, he smokes which is a horrible habit.

He hands you a cup of coffee, made just how you like it. He is not helping you at all.

“Are you working today?”

“Yep, hopefully people will actually come in and want to buy some books today. I had like three people yesterday who asked for recommendations, so I spent time with them, I curated a list.”

“Curated?”

“I curated, Frankie, I curated a perfect list. You know what they did?”

Frankie winces. “I have a nasty feeling.”

“They said they’d order online, Frankie, online!”

“Heathens, monsters, the lot of them.”

“I thought academia was evil when I was in grad school, but this is just sick.”

“So, what happens with that?” Frankie asks, “Weren’t you partway through when you left?”

“I was,” you sigh, looking away from Frankie and taking a large gulp of your coffee. “It’s difficult. I burned a few bridges by leaving like I did, without notice and in the middle of the semester. I mean I was TAing and - I can reapply here, try and find a suitable supervisor, but I don’t know. If I’m honest, I have no idea what to do right now, I like where I’m working at the moment. I’m not even sure who I was doing the PHD for by the time I left. I love literature, but I don’t know if I was still in love with it when I left - am I even making sense, Frankie?”

Frankie nods. “Perfect sense.” For a moment he looks haunted. You get the sense that there are a thousand things in his mind at that mind, swirling behind those deep brown eyes. He looks haunted sometimes, there’s more to him then you know. It doesn’t surprise you because you remember seeing the same thing in Tom over the years.

 He checks his phone and curses. “Sorry, hon, I gotta go to work, see you later?”

“Yeah, see you later.”

You watch him make his way to the bathroom. Oh, you’re screwed.

Apart from the quiet hum of traffic in the distance, all you can hear is the evening birdsong and the start of crickets chirping. You’re sitting on the small balcony of your apartment, a half-drunk glass of wine on the table next to your book.

In New York, there was always so much noise, so much activity. When you moved there it felt overwhelming at first, then comforting somehow.

You prefer this though.

The sliding door opens and you turn to see Frankie behind you, a bottle of beer in his hand.

“Hey, you mind?” He indicates to the empty metal chair opposite you and you shake your head.

He sighs loudly as he exhales, stretches his legs out.

“Long day?”

“The longest,” he says, “Work was flat out and oh- I need this weekend.”

“Hey, some of us have to still work tomorrow.”

“I’m sorry,” he says, an apologetic smile on his face as he scrunches up his shoulders. He’s wearing a beaten old t-shirt with a faded logo you can’t quite make out and grey sweats. Frankie removes his hat for a moment, revealing unruly curls that he sweeps back before replacing his hat.

“What’s the story with the hat?” you ask, your curiosity finally getting the best of you.

“Why’s there gotta be a story?”

“There’s always a story, like -” you pull at the familiar necklace around your neck. “This was a graduation present from my Mom and I wear it every day.”

“Cute. I don’t know. I guess I got used to wearing a hat after I joined the army. You have the buzz cut and it gets cold, and then I don’t know - I guess it just feels like me now.”

“I get that.”

“Yeah?”

“It’s cute. I mean, your hair is cute without it -”

“You think my hair’s cute?” Frankie looks up at you, his expression almost childlike with wonder but all you can think is how you’ve definitely ruined everything now.

You stand up and immediately grab your wine glass before moving back inside to the safety of the kitchen.

You down the wine and rest both your hands against the edge of the counter, try and take deep breaths.

In for four, hold for four, out for four.

“Hey, hey,” Frankie says from behind you. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

“You didn’t. You didn’t do anything, I should say sorry.”

“Why the hell would you say sorry?”

“I don’t make things awkward.”

“’S not awkward,” Frankie says in a low voice, gently turning you around to face him. “We’re good, right?”

You nod tentatively.

“So you think my hair’s cute, huh?” he teases.

You shake your head and look down, mumbling his name as you place your hand on his shoulder. You notice Frankie’s hand is still on your waist.

“Don’t tease me,” you say.

“I’m not teasing,” Frankie murmurs, “I’m surprised.”

“Why? You’re a good-looking guy.”

“Oh yeah?” He doesn’t quite sound like he believes it.

“You are.”

He leans in closer to you, his other hand framing your waist now. “You’re beautiful, you know? And smart. I’ve gotta wonder what the hell would you want with me?”

“Frankie,” you say gently, running your hands down in his arms in an effort to reassure him. Is this happening? Is this actually happening?

You can feel the butterflies, feel that warmth of desire and want in your body. You haven’t felt this in years, hadn’t remembered how intoxicating it was to long for someone. Frankie was right, when you know, you know.

Without thinking, you close your eyes and lean in.

“Mmm, this - this is a bad idea, right?” he asks, lips dangerously close to your neck.

“The worst,” you mumble.

He smells like sandalwood shower gel, there’s a hint of tobacco on his clothes and the sharp smell of mint trying to cut through as he moves, his lips just inches from your own.

“We shouldn’t do this.”

“Nope.”

“It’ll make things complicated.” His fingers lightly trace your collarbone to your shoulder and he leans in closer. You swear you can almost feel the heat radiating from his body.

“I’m used to complicated,” you say gently before you meet his lips.

It’s bold, for you, you never initiate, never make the first move normally. It’s only he’s there and you need him.

It’s been months since you were last kissed.

He gently pushes you against the counter, lifts you so you’re sitting on it while never breaking the kiss, deepening it as you open your mouths.

He tastes like hope and promises and new beginnings.

You wrap your legs around his hips, wanting him closer.

“You’re so goddamn pretty,” he says, trailing kisses down your neck to your throat.

“You’re - oh, fuck,” you groan.

“Yeah?” his voice is teasing, lighter than you’ve heard it since you’ve moved in.

“What do we do now?”

Frankie smiles at you, his smile lighter than you’ve ever seen it. “Well, what do you wanna do?”

“I can think of some things.”

“Oh yeah?” He kisses you again, skims his hands down your arm and moves even closer against you. He’s so warm, so solid against you. “Well, we better get started, huh?”

[like-rain-or-confetti]

Henchreader waking them up.

Ah, back again are we? Feeling an itch of Deja Vu? Last time your boss woke you up but the void ---Vannie--- reckons payback is in order. ...A bad idea you say? Tough shit. Go get that dollar dollar babe.

The Riddler: He was asleep hunched over his work desk. His face on the cold and unforgiving surface. He's a frighteningly light sleeper so you figured the usual tactic of the door opening would wake him. It did not. If that failed surely saying his name will wake him. It did not. This was unprecedented. Was he dead? You stared at his back. It moved softly up and down. Okay, so he was still breathing. You immediately wanted to cry. Working for the Riddler was brutal but waking him? That's a death wish.Yet it was also a death wish if he woke up and found out you let him sleep. He has cameras everywhere. 'Shit' You mouthed to yourself. There was no escaping this one. You scanned his surroundings for anything he might use as a weapon. You found one wrench. Okay, doable. Not the worst. You'd have to be quick. You leaned forward and quickly blew on his head. The Riddler shot up, grabbing the first thing he could see- a wrench- and you immediately covered your head and dropped to the floor."It's me!" You yelped. He looked down at the floor at the 'thud' your knees made against the wooden floor. "Oh...it's you." He grimaced. You waved frantically at him.

Scarecrow: Perhaps your boss being asleep was the most peaceful you had ever seen him. Even that didn't make sense as even asleep he lacked expression. Lips and eyes shut tightly. You had to play this carefully and furthermore right. Your hand hovered over his bare back and tapped his back. Groggily, Jonathan's eyes opened, squinting at you. "Hey boss..." You said carefully. "It's seven thirty." He groaned slightly. "I slept in.""You...slept in?" You repeated. "What time do you usually wake up-" "Five thirty. Six if I'm feeling particularly fatigued." He replied before pushing himself up. You'd never understand Jonathan Crane.

Two-Face: You drew the short straw. "Motherfucker." You grumbled. "Go ahead." One of the henchmen cackled. That led you to now. "Um...boss?" You called. You heard a groan. "What the fuck now?" He ground out. "Sorry but you said you wanted to start early? It's half eight." You explained. There was another grumble. "Who are you?" "(Y/N), sir." You replied. "Thanks kid." Harvey responded, sitting up and revealing his bare torso as he stretched. Something told you that he would have rented very different had it been someone else.

Black Mask: You swung the door open. As predicted, Roman was not alone in his bed. He rarely is. He lay in the middle of his white bed. You tried not to eye his bare chest and stomach. He's your boss! It was amusing to see how he had starfished his limbs out. On either side of him were two very naked women. The sheets covered the two, protecting their modesty and keeping them warm...or at least you hoped. You sighed. You didn't get paid enough and probably won't have a job in the next ten minutes...or a life. He could kill you for this. You cleated your throat. "Wakey wakey!" Your voice rang out. Groans rumbled in response as the three stirred. "Sorry boss, I really hate to do this but...well Cobblepot's men are crossing into our territory." You said quickly. "What the fuck did you just say?" Roman sat up and you immediately covered your eyes. "Penguin, boss. He's intruding on our territory." "That bird-brained freak!" Roman ground out, practically pushing the two women out of his way and almost out the bed all together. Both completely forgotten. If you hadn't covered your eyes, you'd have seen much more of Roman Sionis and those two women.

Penguin: Honestly? He isn't bad to wake up. You knocked on the door first and received a groan. "Oz? Boss?" You peeked your head in. Oswald had crashed on his couch, one hand behind his head, the other on his stomach, his legs crossed by the ankles. "Sorry to interrupt boss, but it's past eleven." Oswald groaned again. "Uh huh, gotta get up." He groaned to himself, sitting up. "Want some coffee?" You offered. "Yeah, that'd be great, sweetheart." Penguin muttered as he rubbed his eyes.

[tiktaalic]

I bought a $5 latte and left a $3 tip and she said 8 ounces right? And I said yeah 8 ounces then got my cup and it was the smallest cup in the entire world and I went I can’t believe I paid eight dollars for this. But I am polite so i did not say this I smiled and drove away. And then it was the worst drivnk I’ve ever had and I had to abandon it after like 5 sips. The point is when I’m in my ice soup week next month I’ll be going FUCK why did I pay 8 dollars for the w worst smallest drink in the world two weeks ago. Purchase with immediate regret. Purchase I will regret in the future. I spent large chunks of money this month that I am able to justify by I Need My Car To Live and Piercings Arw Forever but this EIGHT. dollars for a thimble sized drink I hated. Will haunt me