#I found the bag of doll stuff that I tossed in my paint bag from the doll shelf (i forgot to put the stuff in the doll box and threw it in

[physicalturian]

[18+] Salvaged Love - Hanma Shuji x F!Reader - Part 6

[The plot of this work follows previous works in this series] [She/Her pronouns used for the reader, no physical description; Everyone +18] [Varied POV/chapter]

Words : 15 902

Playlist : link

Archiveofourown

Art that inspired : Link 1 - Link 2

Warnings : Reader-Insert // Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con // Canon-Typical Violence // Graphic Description // Graphic Description of Corpses // Dubious Ethics // Explicit Language // Blood and Injury // Violence // Torture // Dubious content

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To expect a silent ride as I got inside Rindou’s car was foolish.

The moment we arrived, he slid into his seat and handed me a pack of wipes, “You’re not getting in looking like that, take it off.” He nodded towards the bloody apron that I had long since forgotten I was wearing. The mere sight of it had me feeling slightly disgusted, so I was fast to clean myself up and untie it from the back, letting it drop to the ground. Barely a second passed and the man had something new to interject, “I didn’t say to toss it like a cum sock, are you dumb? It’s great quality, you know, some stuff butchers use and shit.” He started rummaging through the glove compartment then pulled out an empty, wrinkled plastic bag, handing it to me in a rush.

“Hold it open, please.” I said as I folded the apron with difficulty. The texture was not the easiest to bend and even less to grasp with all the blood that had tainted it, but I managed to do so, and shoved it inside the plastic bag Rindou was holding. Once done, he tied it closed and plopped it in my lap, “If it leaks, you pay for cleaning.” He commented.

I huffed a short laugh, “Not with how much money you all probably have.”

“It’s out of principle–” He started, ready to explain something I definitely did not care much about.

I nodded dramatically, putting on my seatbelt. “Of course, yeah, you’re full of those, aren’t you? Principles. I’m sure you’re also big on values.” I looked up at him with a mischievous, if not mocking smile as he stared at me in disbelief for a moment before laughing. Silently, I was relieved he found amusement in my words, but the relief did not last long when I saw on the car’s display screen a message that read rather simply:

Q-tip ☠️: OK.

It did not take much to understand this was Hanma, the dryness in his text pattern giving him away. Rindou huffed at the notification before starting the car. My own phone vibrated as well and I was fast to look at the incoming messages.

H.: If they lay a hand on you, I’m gonna need you to cut it.

H.: Can’t believe my doll can’t say no to losers.

H.: If I had a say in this, I’d do them a “Ran”.

I’m sure he was laughing to himself at that. I knew what he meant, there was no need for an over-complicated explanation: kidnap, drug and torture. Although the latter never truly did happen.

H.: But.

H.: You decided to go there with them.

H.: Out of your own free will.

H.: Whatever happens, happens.

It was much more ominous than necessary, I was only getting a few drinks with them. Did I not need to show everyone I was not as insane as they painted me to be? He should be thanking me for helping him–

You’re trying to make him jealous, there is no thanking you.

Facing straight ahead, I ignored her. It was easy to do when I could focus on Hanma’s new texts.

H.: I’ll be home late but I better have you conscious

H.: Not passed out drunk

H.: If you’re drunk you won’t remember to keep track of the shit I gotta beat them up for

That’s new, I thought, reading his messages over and over again. Some emotion was clearly showing a lot more than usual here and it was such a rare sight, but a sight that I still longed for nonetheless. 

Or did I? 

Did I really crave it at this very moment when it was completely uncalled for? Was it better to have it when it was not needed rather than not having it at all? I did not know.

He replied.

H.: Text every hour.

That simple text felt off-putting. It was strange to see him act almost caringly, and yet I smiled. No matter how thrown-off I was right now, there was something in my body that was screaming, fighting for more of whatever this was—as if I had already lost any chance of getting him to show me affection and I was now craving it again.

Again?

I feared losing him. Why? These emotions were rooted in nothing, he hadn’t shown me anything but devotion all this time.

So why did I have such a fear?

I typed back.

Not thinking for more than a second, I sent it. “There is a lot of catching up to do with them, you know, after years of being treated like a pariah. Your act is cute though, unsure it’ll make up for all we went through.” Reading it over again, my eyes widened and only one thought crossed my mind: what the hell did I just say?

Quickly, I typed back.

Me: I don’t know why I said that

Me: Haha

Me: I’ll be careful

I pondered over my options for a second, weighing the pros and cons of adding to the already weird thread the rest of the rambles in my mind. The debate did not last long.

Me: But it’s

Me: Cute

Me: When you’re worried

Me: It’ll be okay, I’m just trying to fix my fuck-up so you don’t get more hate

Me: Not that I’m your knight in shining armor or anything

Me: But I’m not going to just do nothing

Me: What I’m saying is

Me: I’ll be fine.

With a quick glance at Rindou, whose eyes were fixed on the road, I replied once more to Hanma who had kept awfully silent since the beginning of my constant messaging.

Me: They’ve got nothing on you

Me: You are the only one for me.

H.: [image]

An audible gasp escaped my lips as I saw the photo he had sent me. Something inside me lit up at the sight, a mix of nostalgia and something much deeper, much stronger. It made a grin slowly creep on my face. Back then, I hardly would have believed it, had anyone told me I would be giddy at the sight of a dead hooker on the ground. And yet, something else was boiling inside me.

Then his text had it all blow up.

H.: You think I’m jealous?

There was a name to that feeling.

Ire.

Ire upon seeing her, because even dead, I couldn’t help but wonder how far he had gone. With his touches, his kisses, his words, his lies, all to try to get her to give him any sort of information. Those actions were reserved for me, only me, not her. Not anyone else.

Me: Glad she’s dead

The words were dry and yet, his interest was piqued.

H.: Yeah?

I started typing instantly but had to stop. I could not put it into words without sounding crazy, so I looked up at Rindou and hesitated a moment before asking him, “Say, how do I tell him that wherever that bitch touched him is foul, and dirty, and I need to touch him, feel him and make him understand that she was shit and–”

Rindou cut me off by holding up a hand towards me, a sign for me to stop. His eyes were wide from the little I had already told him, and for a split second I regretted saying anything. He shook his head, “How about… hello? Fuck, woman, you’re insane.” He sighed, a short pause before another louder sigh, “Let me think.” His eyes focused back on the road, a side glance thrown my way beforehand.

I decided he needed to know more about the situation and resumed, “I think he’s trying to make me jealous, which is working, except that I thought we were past that—the whole ‘whore pictures being sent while we’re both doing something different’, you know?” I took a deep breath and looked down at my phone once more, no new messages from Hanma.

“Yeah… uh? I don’t know, if that was me I’d wanna hear like… shit, I don’t know, both of you are insane anyway!” He then batted his eyes at me, clearly joking, “Let Poe possess you or whatever, let your heart speak or something.” He said the last part in a higher tone, mockingly, but who was he imitating? I had no idea.

Giving him a curt nod, I added a dry smile, “You’re useless, thank you for nothing.” With that, I let my fingers type anything that came to mind at this point.

Me: I have lots of thoughts on all the ways I’ll fuck you to get rid of HER

Me: can’t imagine what you did to get her to speak

Me: but I'll fuck it out of you

A beat.

He was typing once more. I had stepped out of my comfort zone, out of all of the boundaries of what I believed I was allowed to tell him. It had my heart beating so fast, I started feeling the tiniest bit dizzy. Maybe even nauseous. My body was colder than usual, I was nervous of his answer. Fearful, even.

H.: Haha

H.: Yeah?

H.: My girl’s possessive?

H.: But you’re not in charge.

H.: We’ll see when you get home

H.: And frankly? It’s too down bad of you to be jealous of a dead girl.

H.: Glad my doll’s still mine. It’s fun, you know? This little thing you’re doing.

Me: I’ll return the favor. We’ll see how much fun you have as the night goes on, Shuji

Me: 😛

Then I put the phone away. He had decided to make me jealous on purpose, sure. But now I wished he’d feel what I felt. He needed to understand me. I could regret fucking around. I could. Or I could not.

Looking up at Rindou, I grinned, “All good now, he’s cool with us getting a drink.”

The younger brother shrugged, “I very much doubt he is but I couldn’t care less—what I care about is knowing this, were you sexting that fucker right next to me?” Hearing his words, I froze and turned around to look at the road with an overly dramatic pout as I shook my head slowly, “Nah. Nah, I wouldn’t do that.”

He burst out laughing, “Get help, for real.”

“Oh, I’m sorry, you can all text your women during a meeting, but I can’t send fun stuff to my man while you’re driving?” I scoffed, a genuine smile on my lips at the light banter I was having with him. For all the time I had known him, and most of the executives, it was one of the rare times I had fun with any of them. Grabbing his phone, I skipped some songs and put the volume louder, “Fake ass.” I commented jokingly.

For a moment, I could ignore her in the backseat. It was much easier like this, music blasting and someone to push any thoughts of her away. But she never truly left.

Relief coursed through my body when, after about fifteen minutes, Rindou pulled up the car in front of a fancy-looking place. He handed his keys to a valet and gestured for me to follow, grinning like an asshole, “What, never saw a valet? There’s no way I’m taking hours trying to park this baby.” He tilted his head to the side in a condescending manner. It made me click my tongue against my teeth as I gave him a deadpan look. He pursed his lips, “Come on, don’t give me that look, you’ll get used to the fancy stuff.”

“I’d rather not get used to valets, it’s too snobbish for my taste.” I said, joining him as he stopped in front of the glass door of a well-renovated building. Just by the sight of it, I knew that shit was elitist, but those places knew how to handle things. The bodyguard would probably send away anyone not dressed suitably enough for the high exclusivity of the place, or people that were certainly in immense debt from showing off more money than they really had. But here? He did not check me for anything, no name, no weapon—nothing.

I watched his eyes linger only barely on Rindou, which was enough to show he had recognized him. If not by his tattoo, there were surely more things to identify him, with what people would have gathered from gossiping. For just a short moment, I debated making myself small so I would not be stopped, but there was no time for that, I was part of Bonten as much as anyone.

With my chin held high, I entered the place and immediately felt the change in the air as people seemed to be all too aware of us—no, not us, I reminded myself. Just Rindou. 

I wondered.

People must have recognized his status from the tattoo, which in the long-run would not work enough for me because, realistically, what could I do? Lift my shirt every time I enter a place to show I was an executive? No. I could do better, I needed something to be known for.

A reputation would help.

Another man we walked past gave me a once over and stopped at my face—no, not my face, the side of it. It was just for a few seconds, but I was too conscious of myself in this place to miss it.

The earring.

His earring.

Even now, alone, without him here, I was simply his.

I liked it. I loved him. But there was this sense of self that I was losing in the process of only being acknowledged as The Reaper’s girl. My fingers grazed the jewelry gently, slowly, so delicately I held back a chuckle at how it contrasted all that had happened earlier. 

What had happened earlier? What happened today? I couldn’t remember it all, only some flashes of a memory, but it seemed that I had left a man on the floor. It was all fuzzy and very blurry. I knew Koko and Rindou had been there with me, but what would it look like if I started asking them for help to clear up my mind?

As I followed Rindou further in the dark room, we reached an area further in the back that had a nice round table, on one side a crescent-shaped bench split in two and on the other two beautiful chairs with soft cushions and armrests.

“Look what my brother dragged in, the crazy bitch!” Ran exclaimed, his arms resting on the back of the bench seats. His words broke me out of my daydreaming, Rindou spoke before I could, “Listen, I don’t like the bitch much, but she has potential.” He pushed me forward, presenting me like a gift, almost making my leg hit the table, “Don’t you? Tell ‘em what you did, it was super fun, right?” He then moved around the table to sit by Sanzu’s side with a huff and his huge asshole smile. I stood in front of them feeling hopeless and put on the spot, Ran to the right, Sanzu in the middle and Rindou, who had just joined in on the left.

My mouth felt dry, so dry that no words came out and I had a hard time swallowing—for some reason, this entire situation felt like I was being bullied by the mean girls in high school, which I could not let slide. I did not remember much of what I had done, but I could fake it, so I straightened my back and huffed a laugh, “Bring some refreshments,” I said with a mocking tone, “I’m not the jester that’s going to give you entertainment, so I’ll sit down, we’ll get some drinks, and then we will talk, good?” It was only as I pulled up a chair, not wanting to sit next to them, that I noticed how few people were around us; we were much further back than the escorts and rich men at the very front.

Simply calling it a ‘VIP section’ was embarrassing given the look of the place, even more so knowing there was no delimited area that would make one believe so. It was just an unspoken rule of sorts. People seemed to know not to sit in the back, nor to look over here either. Only a few of them dared to steal furtive glances our way as they would pretend to reach for something in their bags or their coat pockets, or even as they would call for the waiters. A few seconds was all they allowed themselves to gaze over.

Finally, as I sat, I caught Ran’s gaze and rolled my eyes before he could speak, “Should you fear for your drink? Yes, but only if you can’t let go of the past—no, because, you know, I am a changed woman.” I paused, leaning on the table, “We’ve both grown, you and I, is it that hard to–”

Ran was still pissed off. Granted, his anger was founded, but it was more than a year ago now, how petty could he be? He interrupted me and huffed, “I’ll keep an eye out anyway.”

With a heavy sigh, I ran a hand over my face, “Well, I won’t do shit to your drink, but it’s your call!” I then looked at Rindou and clasped my hands in front of me, “Drinks then! Let your paranoid brother get his own drink himself, I will show good faith and let you order for me.” I gave him a short smile, which fell rapidly when the younger brother mimicked my position and leaned on the table himself, fist against his cheek, “You’re paying then?”

I had little to no energy to feel called out or embarrassed. These men were loaded, of course I had no intent to pay. They knew that and I knew that, but they were also dicks and the only way to pay them back in the same coin was to play to their weaknesses. I smirked, “Oh, need mommy to get your stuff? Wanna get spoiled?” I asked mockingly, a fake pout on my lips as I pleaded, for more theatrics. It had Sanzu laughing as he watched the scene unfolding in front of him.

The Haitanis were not talking, so I continued. This time, I gestured like I was going to tell them a secret, my hand half covering my mouth as if I was whispering into their ears but everyone could hear. It was all for fun. At least I was having fun, “Rin, you should have told me it was hard financially, but I’m feeling generous.” To make it even more believable, I reached out for my wallet only to have Rindou shove my hand back inside the bag, “That’s not how it’s fucking done.” He sighed, glancing at the two other men.

The three men got their wallets out and then tossed their cards onto the plate in the middle of the table—so this was what it was used for? I was convinced it was for cocaine. I was not going to join them on their little wealth show-off, although it made sense for them not to openly debate who would pay. Relying on chance and the innocent hand of the waiter was much more logical.

Unbothered by their paying off my share, I gasped jokingly, “Here I thought chivalry was dead!” with a short pause, I resumed, “I will take whatever drink, as long as it’s not roofied.” I winked at Ran who mumbled something under his breath. I was probably pushing the joke too far, but I had no idea what to talk about with them, maybe I was just panicking.

Rin raised his hand to call the waiter over, which made me realize I would have been stupid enough to think they would have gone to the bar to order and grab their orders. This did not look like just any random bar, and if some would have found it polite for the people inviting you to get your drinks, they did not do those things. They did diplomacy at certain times, but they also mainly did demonstrations of status—their reputation allowed them a great many things, amidst them some freedoms which they did not take. I was certain they could be the worst people if they wanted to, but had an amount of decency that kept them somewhat humble.

Surely, if someone rubbed them the wrong way they would make themselves heard, but until then, they would just be treated like royalty in silence.

As we watched the waiter walk away with our order in mind, Rindou was the first to talk, “So, Ran, how many old hags are gonna be drooling over your ass at that gay ball?”

Ran raised a brow, “Is it gay ‘cause Koko’s throwing it or…” He joked, making everyone but myself laugh. I hadn’t yet got accustomed to their humor and I was starting to understand it was as low as it could get. I even found myself wishing I could have made this up, just to spare me the disappointment of finding out that no matter their status in the world, men would remain just that: men.

“I would think his looks are too eclectic for old women.” I commented, getting Sanzu to hum as he took his drink from the tray the waiter brought. As he put the glass down, he nodded at me, “You’d be surprised—no, cause I’m also surprised, have you seen the man?”

I gave Ran a good look, taking a sip from my own drink, shrugging, “Objectively, he isn’t shabby, you know? Now, here,” I tapped my head with my index finger, hinting at his personality, “is where it gets ugly.” It had him seething, it was quite enjoyable to see. What would he do? Throw a fight in public? I grinned and added, “But hey, they wouldn’t find out for one night, right?” Ran’s lack of laughter at my unsavory comment made the two other men laugh even more, they were thriving on his misery, at least to some extent.

The short-haired man leaned back in his seat, glass in hand as he raised it towards me, “It has to do with my charm, my charisma, maybe even my poise.” He gave me a side glance, his eyes traveling over my form only slightly before meeting my eyes again, his finger raised from the glass to point at me, “Not that you would know much about any of this.”

I took offense.

“Arrogance and being born with a silver spoon in your mouth must play in your favor with wealthy grandmas, right?” I then shook my head, clenching my jaw in annoyance only slightly as I theatrically thought hard before smiling, “No, wait, wait, it’s on the tip of my tongue, there’s a word that…” I stuck my tongue out, muttering inarticulately before exclaiming, “Ah, yes! Privilege! That’s what best describes you.” And it was what lost me points with Rindou too, pointing fingers at his brother meant pointing fingers at him. I hardly knew anything about their past, but I knew they were born from wealth, whatever happened afterwards must have been the byproduct of their greed and need to rebel.

Clasping my lips together, I drank some more and raised my brows, looking around, “So do we have some games here or is it just gossiping like bitter old people?”

Rin’s smile grew, “Both.”

I was not stupid enough to not realize the tension I had brought, but there was no apologizing to be done, they did not care for such things. Instead, I hummed while thinking, “Blackjack? Poker?” I was starting to grow bored, but I needed to get along with them. They shouldn’t be too bad, I could prove to them I was still socially apt—I needed to show Hanma I could have fun without him while he was around having fun with whores for show.

Sanzu downed the rest of his drink and nodded before raising a hand to call for someone. A beautiful woman hurried to the table and leaned in, I could read on his lips “Bring some fun.” She then nodded and walked away as fast as she came—my eyes trailed on her for a moment, not even attempting to gauge how stressed she must be. She hid it well, not one misstep, not one mistake, she spoke to someone in the back who disappeared before coming out with a small table.

The pink-haired man nudged my foot, “You into girls too?” he said with a huge smile.

“I’m taken, does it really matter?” I said with a sigh, wincing when he nudged me harder, “Yeah, it matters! Everyone needs to know if you’re into pu–” There was no need for his vulgarity, really, but they were too close as friends to not be comfortable speaking with each other like that. With ‘providers’ or ‘clients’ they would be eloquent, not here though. “She is very cute, but I was watching mostly in awe at how she was dealing with you both.”

Leaning back in his seat, Sanzu gave me a pitying look, his arms draping on the back of the cushions, “It’s insane how badly that fucker got inside your head, everyone’s in the wrong but him, right?” He stated, a growing smile on his lips. I frowned for a second, my hand gripping my thigh in anger but I did not break eye contact, instead, I hummed, “I can easily recall all the crazy shit I was put through because of–”

“Because of him, really. Thought you’d know by now. Every errand you were ever sent on went through him first, part of some whatever elaborate fucking scheme, I’d imagine. Mikey always lets it happen ‘cause your man’s not as unimportant as he wants everyone to believe.” He continued, nodding at the waitress that came by, placing a beautiful ornate tray with white powder on it before bowing and getting out of the way once more. Sanzu raised a finger, gesturing that he needed a moment before he could go on. He used one of the cards in the middle of the table to draw four perfect lines on the tray before sniffing one; he then pushed the tray over to Rindou as he resumed, “Mikey’s had enough though, he doesn't like the fucker having him by the balls much. The Reaper’s pet project’s gonna have to come to an end, he should be reminded that you’re Bonten’s, not his.” He brushed off some leftovers from under his nose and grinned at me.

I could feel myself growing angrier and yet part of me could not believe he was lying, instead it felt all too real. I couldn't help but slightly fear what they would do more, other than breaking Hanma and I apart. I would not let it happen. I would not let them continue on that stupid topic.

The tray had passed by Ran, who then handed it to me with boredom in his eyes as I grabbed it with bitterness, unsure why I did what I did. After telling Shiho time and time again not to touch that shit, I brought the tray to my face and blocked one of my nostrils, snorting the rail Sanzu had prepared. I handed him back the tray and glared, “Always these talks about belonging, Bonten, The Reaper, the streets—it’s all the same, isn’t it? I don’t have much choice where the fuck I end up. It almost feels like this sense of independence is fake.” I scoffed, holding back a smile when the three men seemed slightly surprised not by my words, I was aware, but by the fact I had indeed taken them up on their offer.

“If my custody’s going to change, I say we should have one last fun night before it all goes to shit, yeah?” I grabbed their cards between my fingers and shook my head, tutting, “No more drinks, mixing’s bad.” Waiters finally brought a fully set poker table over, which I thanked them for as one of them stayed behind. He placed himself behind the table where the dealer’s spot would be. I gave him a strange look then faced back the other men at the table, “One great, entertaining, not-stereotypical rich people game of poker, then I have plans for us.” I said with a grin. I was all too bold with my words and my attitude right now, I almost reminded myself of Shiho, but it did not matter.

Rindou nodded, “Oh yeah, I’m in, the bar’s high though. Better make it count.”

“If Rin’s in, I’m in.” Ran rolled his eyes but couldn’t hide the stupid smile on his lips upon seeing his brother this excited for this. They were a pair, a duo meant for drama and insanity. Sanzu’s smile widened, “I’m all for—huh, shit how did she put it…” He seemed to think for a while, dragging his words before pulling his phone out and looking at something, “Teenaged girlies night out?” He said in a confused tone, most likely quoting something Shiho told him. A loud snort escaped my nose as I barked a laugh, “Definitely that!” I exclaimed.

The three men gave me a judgmental look that I ignored as the dealer handed us our cards and I couldn’t help the smile on my lips at the thought of Shiho. Frankly, it was all too stereotypical to play poker on a night out, boring too, but if I had to go through that to have free reign on what to do next, then I would.

The Haitani brothers were more the gaslighting type, reacting too much or too little on purpose, which was the goal, but they also seemed to give each other looks to help one another. Sanzu however was good at this. He kept a deadpan, straight face. I played the first-time-playing card, which was a lie, but it sure was fun to see them all very confident in their games when they ‘knew’ what I had, from my ‘reactions’ that gave away everything.

It took way too long for one game however, long enough for the effect of the initial high to wane off. Long enough for Sanzu and Ran to fold, while Rindou and I stared at each other, trying to guess one another’s next move while debating what to do next at the same time.

Raise or fold? Raise… or fold.

“Raise.” I said, adding half my chips and giving Rindou a tight smile.

He seemed taken aback by my action which, in all fairness, I understood since I also surprised myself by doing that. I was not one to play poker in the first place, even less with these very specific men, not that they were that bad as people but they were not my friends. I do recall playing one time with Shiho. I think we had other people with us, but I don't recall anyone that really struck me as important and so it was quite quickly erased from my memory. 

I even started doubting my memory. Sometimes I would remember things that I was certain happened—except that they didn't. I suppose I had to blame that on my very vivid dreams, those dreams that I have been having for quite a while now, the very ones that seemed so real, horrific, traumatizing. 

But now was not the time to think back on those, I had in front of me a Haitani brother sweating, panicked, out of his wits. I really enjoyed the sight. 

I knew who else would enjoy the sight, Shiho—if she was here, she would have been laughing her ass off at the sight of the brother in front of me. I only played poker a few times with her but I knew she was good at it, or at least she is good at leading people on, meaning that I'm sure she would have won against those three men. 

But she was not here.

I was. 

I was the one who was forced to work with these three men. In some way, I was happy that she was not here because it meant she was safely tucked away, not forced to partake in this show-off of a lifestyle. In all honesty, I never really wondered if I would ever get used to this, but I think it should not be too hard to start to like luxury. I deserved it. I had worked my part so I deserved that, the money, the fancy restaurants, everything—even better: they owed it to me for ruining my life. 

Maybe I couldn't really say that they ruined my life because I couldn’t really blame them for all of this; after all, it all started with Hanma, and I wanted to thank him for coming into my life because he made me happy. So maybe they just owed me for traumatizing me and for making me kill people—ah, and also for ruining any chances I had at being a good person? 

I paused my train of thought.

Or maybe they didn't owe me anything… maybe I enjoyed this way too much for it to be a punishment, to be something I regretted.

Enjoyed it? 

I did.

I did enjoy this.

I enjoyed having them look at me annoyedly. I enjoyed them making me think I was not worth anything, because if they thought that, it only pushed me to go further and further—it only pushed me to break the limits, to show them what I could do, to show them I can be like them.

I could be worse than them.

Yeah, I could be worse than them, but even then, being worse than them would be the moment they would consider me as merely an equal. Which was funny, I suppose. That even if I was smarter, or more than them on any level, I would only be considered at best an equal. Never better. So I will become smarter, I will become more efficient, I will become something that Mikey can rely on, because the moment he relied on me, I would be worth something. 

The pieces were coming together.

It was not the time for me to be thinking about this. It had only been a few seconds since I was lost in thought, but I was still gauging the situation. Losing or winning did not matter, what did matter was seeing Rindou pissed off. What also mattered was seeing all these men turn angry upon losing against someone who had barely played this game, even better, to know that they had lost to a woman.

The expressions that would adorn their faces would be so beautiful.

Rindou looked at me and smiled as he said, “Raise.”

He was quite fast to collect himself, but so was I. He could be bluffing, I believed he was, and I trusted the cards I had in hand. Rindou shook his head, “No, not raise. All in.” The look on his face was the one of a maniac, nothing like even the one Sanzu would often bear, and I would have been scared of losing, potentially, had Rindou not been acting.

I could be wrong. He could be bluffing, but I only had one option, so I followed my gut. Mimicking him, I pushed my chips forward at the center of the table and held his gaze before giving him a small smile, “All in it is!”

His eyes widened, had he expected me to fold? Let me laugh. All that was now left was to show our cards and I did so with pride and arrogance—Rindou’s hand was nothing like mine, he had lost.

Wrapping my arms around the chips, I gave him a short bow, “Thank you for this very entertaining game, I would assume everything will be taken care of and I won’t need to do shit, yes?” I asked, addressing the men around the table, dealer included. The men I knew personally seemed bothered, because of course, had Rindou won, they would have been ecstatic. Instead, I earned some eye rolls and disdain.

Rindou stood up and grabbed his vest, looking back at me with a short grin as he said, “Well then! Let’s go? I think our girl had some plans—but hey, since you just received your first big money, you’re going to pay for your plans, okay?”

The dealer left with everything, some people helping him carry it all as we stood up. I heard Sanzu mutter something to Ran and turned around to see he had bent to the tray once more for more rails of coke. Catching me glancing at them, they raised a brow and pointed at the tray, then at me.

Did I want more? The effects I felt had long since dissipated, but…

Do you really want to anger him? He told you specifically not to do those things.

Why did it matter? He should be mad, I wanted him mad, filled with so much pent-up anger that he would need an outlet for it all, and I would be that for him.

A short nod is what I gave them before leaning in and sniffing a badly done line. I felt a hand on my head as I did so. A gentle ruffle from the hand that remained on top of my head as I straightened my back, then I heard Rindou say, “Good girl, see, you can have fun.”

Quickly, I slapped his hand away and gave him a side glance, “Yeah, don’t do that. Thank you.”

“I have plans, if any of you care.” I said once we were outside the club and ready for the night to continue. Ran sighed loudly, “Why do you think we’re outside? Just talk.”

Excited, I grinned and pointed at the four of us in a circle, “We are going to have a challenge, each other—”

“You’re the most challenged, Rin, you won, what’s next?” Ran said, taking a drag from his cigarette, the hint of a smirk in the corner of his lips. His brother did not hold back when punching him, both of them laughing in the aftermath while Ran finished smoking and stepping on the butt he had dropped on the ground. “Rin-rin, you’re dead.” He laughed, blood trickling from his nose.

Sanzu stepping between them was enough to deter both brothers who laughed even more upon having to be stopped. Somehow, their laughter was contagious and I found myself holding back a smile as I continued, “We’re going to have to find more coke—or any drugs for that matter, the organic way, okay?” They seemed confused, so I gestured for them to wait a moment as I found a better way to express myself. I started pointing my fingers one by one as I said, “You all have a reputation, we are going to be lowkey tonight, without going to people or selling spots you know. We are going to have to get our hands on something.”

They seemed intrigued, so I continued, “So we will call each other, cameras on, once we get the goods. The first one to get their hands on something wins.”

Sanzu chuckled, “Yeah? And what’s the prize?”

Shushing him, I added, “Wait, wait. Rule also is you only have a 5-block radius, we know this area is super fancy so you’re bound to find some shit.” I paused and smiled, “The prize is… huh, it’s–”

Rin wrapped an arm around my shoulders, “I think it’s fun enough like this, if a prize is needed we’ll claim it, don’t you worry.”

“Okay?” I slid away from his grasp and gestured for them to pull out their phones, “Rindou, can you create a group chat real quick? It’ll be better for when we do find it—you’re fast, damn.” I muttered the last part under my breath when I received the notification of the new conversation that had popped on my screen.

“Alright, we split, bye.” I quickly said before walking away not fast enough to look suspicious, but fast enough to feel embarrassed about it, at least to some extent. The neighborhood was familiar, the moment we turned into the street in Rindou’s car I had recognized it, so I rushed to a place where I was sure to find sellers. It felt wrong to be back at that place after all this time—ever since that Halloween I hadn’t returned here.

The almost rape that had happened by that asshole of a cope, or the weird moment I had had at the time with Hanma in the alley, both seemed to be valid reasons to avoid this place. I suppose also when the cops brought me to the hospital thinking Shuusuke was my boyfriend and that I cared. Maybe that was one of the turning points.

All of these seemed good enough to argue my lack of return here.

What ultimately tossed these to the side for now was my need to show off and to belong. So, with a newfound confidence, I straightened my back and stepped inside the building only to get stopped by security. Taking a deep breath, I gave the man a slow once-over and met him dead in the eyes, “Not to flash you or anything, but–” I was about to show him my tattoo when a hand interrupted me and Ran’s voice rang, “She’s with me.”

The guard let us pass and I almost stomped away from Ran, had it not been for him grabbing my arm. “Come on, crazy frog, you were speeding down that path so fast I almost didn’t catch you. You don’t have to run like that.” He said with a smirk.

“I do believe this is a competition,” I snatched my arm from his hand, “Thank you for helping me get in, you really, really didn’t have to.”

He raised both his hands in fake defense and laughed, “Shit, you’re mad, I wonder what that’ll look like—you know, if when you’re desperate you drug people, then if you’re mad, what? You’ll kill ‘em?”

“I would have laughed, I swear, I just missed the cue.” I stated with a straight expression.

He stared me dead in the eyes, silent, the music blasting in the background being the sole thing we could hear. Then he huffed a laugh. Small, but noticeable. I matched it then looked around, maybe proud that he had let me in a little after all the time I’d spent trying to get back on his semi-good side.

“You can un-leech yourself from me now, I’ll do my thing, you do yours–” I started before two guys stood up from the bar and made their way towards us. Had my mind not been ringing an alarm bell upon seeing their faces, I would have been laughing at how comical they looked, one walking much faster than the other while the calmer one tried to hold him back. But why did they seem familiar? My entourage was rather limited, and I hardly could imagine I knew anyone from work that would hang around these parts.

Work—it was about work, the dots were connecting, but not fast enough. The angrier man tried to swing at me, only for Ran to grab his arm and knee it at the elbow. Before he could scream in pain, Ran covered the man’s mouth. Two security guards were instantly at our side, grabbing the second man and following the Haitani brother as he dragged his struggling victim out of sight.

I couldn’t hear anything of what these two strangers were saying, but Ran met my gaze and gestured for me to follow him. I don’t know why, but I did it without a second thought, maybe because my mind was still scanning for any flash of remembrance about these two men. As we crossed the main room to reach a back one, I was lost in thought.

Work—two men, why would they be angry? Why would they be here? Nothing specific happened at this date ever, it was not an anniversary of anything. No, something must have happened at some point. Work… here… last time these two places were connected, I was here with–

Me! I’m sure you’re coming to the conclusion fast enough.

Closing my eyes for a moment to compose myself, I followed Ran through the crowd, ignoring her. Halloween night? Dread filled me in an instant. That night, it had been Rai, her boyfriend Kei, Shiho who had long since slipped away and met Sanzu for the very first time—I was there too, and a random man that had so little impact on the night, I had forgotten about him. I couldn’t picture his face, I had barely glanced at him. This was not the moment for that, I needed to remember if it was him.

Not enough time was allowed for me to think further than that as Ran grabbed my arm and dragged me inside a room, grumbling something under his breath before slamming the door shut and letting out a loud sigh. “Usually I’d let our men take care of two shit-stirrers like you, but this is deeper than that—you are tied to her, right?” He said, pointing at me, a huge grin on his face.

“I didn’t do shit, don’t point fingers at me.” I stated in annoyance while all too aware that one of these men was familiar.

The angry one seemed ticked off by my words as he laughed maniacally, his hand reaching for the gun at his waist before his friend stopped him. I did not have my gun, and Ran seemed unreactive or not scared enough to care, so I thanked the man, “Keep your friend in check, I have no idea what he is talking about.”

“Oh yeah, of course, of course you don’t—yes you fucking do! Shuusuke, Kei, you know them! I don’t have enough proof yet, but you’re the one responsible for all of it!”

And maybe I shouldn’t have spoken the following thoughts out loud, maybe I should have kept my mouth shut, but I did not. Instead I shook my head, “Credit where credit goes, I sure took care of officer Hansuke, but Kei was not my dutiful work.”

Before a silence could settle I gasped, “You’re Aoto! I think Rai mentioned you somehow at some point too, she said you would easily get angry but hmm—he has a good heart, very reliable.” I said. Ran looked at me strangely for a second and not any longer, if anything he was giving me the floor to deal with the situation so I did. I looked around the room, trying to find any weapon and I wondered why there were close to none. It seemed stupid, but when I walked past the men, for some reason I knew Aoto would not grab me. He didn’t, he seemed too confused. His composure had long since dissolved, perhaps since the moment he had seen me enter the club.

Rummaging through the desk in the room, I kept talking, “But the big fella I don’t know—not that it matters, I think my question is why are you both here?” There it is.

Aoto replied, “For payback.”

Without thinking, I clicked my tongue against my teeth and gave them both a grimace as I closed the drawers and shook my head, “Now that’s a bit silly, don’t you think Ran?” I asked, watching his bored expression lock on my face as he blinked slowly before leaning against one of the shelves and crossing his arms. Giving me a smirk, he mimicked zipping his mouth shut, tilting his head to the side before extending his hand forward in a welcoming manner, as if to tell me to do this on my own, to do as I pleased.

Was he lazy or did he trust me?

Was it a test or was I finally being valued?

“Ouchie, now that is bad for both of you. I usually confer with someone before acting, but if it’s just me—I’ll give you my two cents, okay?” I asked lightly.

Aoto, who was still standing, suddenly rushed towards me, “I don’t fucking care, you killed them both–” Sharp. Not enough. It did the trick, though. One, two, three droplets on the floor and it wasn’t stopping. I could feel the blood dripping down the scissors and onto my fingers. As I tried to shove them further inside his stomach, my fingers felt around the wound and my eyes widened.

“What if I did this?” I breathed out. From the corner of my eyes, I could see Ran keeping the taller man back from coming towards me and even within the few seconds of our gazes locking, I hoped he had understood I was thanking him. If I did not have to worry about the other one, I could do whatever with Aoto. And I did—pulling the scissors out, I shoved my fingers inside the two holes and pressed hard, making him grimace as he bent over in pain, screaming, swearing and grunting.

It was so fascinating to see how I could make him feel more pain than sharp metal inside his body.

Humming, I waited a few seconds then leaned over to his ear and asked, “When’s payback starting?” Before he could react, I had pulled back and kneed him in the nose, “From what I understand, you’re a loose string, Mister Aoto—and I don’t like that much, I cut my loose strings.”

He let out a pained scoff, “We’re close to getting the camera feed back from the hospital, you’re going down–”

Swift, rough. Efficient.

The closed pair of scissors entered from under his chin and came out from his open mouth as blood poured in a steady stream from it, eyes wide in horror.

“Not to mansplain or anything, but you already told me all that I needed to know, so why would I keep you alive? That was a big mistake on your part and…” I tossed the scissors on the floor before pushing him down. He fell with a mute thud as his friend was still being held back, Ran’s hand clasped on his mouth. “And I think we can blame this on your being hysterical, you know? You came for me, all angry, you let your emotions take control, that was embarrassing—your friend tried to keep you in check, but…” I continued with a tense smile to the tall man that was pleading with his eyes. My gaze flickered from the body on the floor to the weapon, to my bloody hands—what have I done?

Suddenly, I was speaking more, “But your friend should die too, he saw too much and you know how it goes—the more witnesses, the more they might have this hero complex and want to take justice in their own hands.” I paused and grabbed the scissors back from the floor, “We don’t want that.” Seeing the stains on the floor, I felt sorry for whoever would have to clean this up later, but I was quick to focus back on the restrained man in the room.

“Picture me giving you a big speech, I don’t really want to do that right now. Plus, who knows, maybe you’re bugged–” 

The man interrupted me in a soft tone, “Thank you.”

I stopped dead in my tracks and glanced at Ran in confusion. He shrugged in response.

“Aoto would come here every night, hoping he would see you again or the other girls that were there with you–” He choked on some tears and gave me a huge smile, “You ruined him, you know? I lost him that night—when you sent Shuusuke to the hospital.” 

Interrupting him in return, I gripped his jaw tight, “I did not do that, I accompanied him there. Get your facts straight,” Laughing, I dug my fingers further inside his cheeks and never unlocked my gaze from his, “And it was well deserved too. Seems like those who enforce the law are the most unresponsive to it, don’t you think?”

I took a few steps back and put the back of my hand on my forehead dramatically, “No, please stop!” Then met his gaze, “So he continued.”

“No to racism!” I mimicked someone holding a sign then met his gaze, “And yet they’re so fucking keen on beating up people a different skin tone than them!”

About to continue my point, I stopped and watched as Ran snapped the man’s neck without thinking much about it and dropped him on the floor, giving me a weirded out look, “That was embarrassing to watch, maybe don’t do theatrics like that. What would you do if the last thing you saw was a bitch giving you the whole ‘all cops are bad’ speech?”

Slowly, Ran sat down and I followed his movements by sliding into one of the seats myself, letting out a long sigh. “You’re right.”

He smiled proudly and I immediately added, “Which I will only say this one time—the moment he mentioned Shiho and Rai, I guess I took it personally and–”

Our phones rang at the same time, cutting me off in my rant that I realized was not aimed at the right person. If I had to talk about this with someone it would be Shiho or Hanma, why was I trying to talk about my feelings to Ran Haitani out of everyone in this world? I let out a scoff and grabbed my phone, pulling myself together just from that.

“Ah, so he renamed the group chat—Team Rindou?”

Ran laughed loudly as he exclaimed, “Yeah, fucker was fast to get his hands on some shit—not just any good stuff.” He trailed off, zooming on the picture Rindou had sent in the groupchat, a woman in his lap as he dangled a little pack of powder in front of the camera. The picture that followed was with all the other different drugs on a table, probably a party he had managed to get invited to—no, it was not just any party.

“Dude, he for real is in the main room. That’s the table of this place, that’s–” I stood up and opened the door to see him in the corner of the room with a few girls around him, “I guess we all had the same idea.” I muttered under my breath.

A text popped on the screen as Sanzu told us he was on his way here since he was not going to stay in the streets if the game was over. It was getting late, so I was confused as to why he was not just going back home, but I followed along as Ran pushed me out of the room, his hand on my lower back. I quickly shoved it away, feeling the touch so foreign on my body that it made me feel unsafe. Jokingly, I said, “Get your dirty hands off me.” 

To which he countered, “Look at your own hands then say that again, yeah?”

“You don’t like my aesthetic?” I asked comically.

He gave me a weird look, “Just go wash your hands and keep your mouth shut, it’s insane how much you talk for jack shit.”

With a roll of my eyes, I left his side and got to the bathroom where a few women were already queuing. Waiting at the end of the line, I felt the warm air coming from behind—from the alleyway where so much had happened almost two years ago. I held back from looking that way, knowing it would not help with my current state but when I heard my name being called, I could not help but look over at the open door. 

The sound was repeated.

Almost like a whisper.

Not a whisper, no… a pained moan.

Don’t go looking for it. Shit, I was exhausted.

“Are you waiting too?” I heard someone ask, bringing me back from my lost thoughts.

Nodding, I quickly stepped ahead, noticing the queue was gone, and entered the bathroom.

The light was too bright, and the dull buzzing of the music did not help one bit with the growing headache I now realized I had. Blinking slowly, I watched my reflection and squinted to see what was on my face—I leaned over a bit and noticed a few droplets of blood on my forehead. Making a grossed-out expression, I dunked my hands under the water and scrubbed them clean before doing the same on my face. I couldn’t be more grateful for the other women in the restroom that were chatting loud enough to drown out any upcoming thoughts. 

It was almost nostalgic.

Like that fateful night, the one where everything started to go downhill. Were there any signs that I was going to go this far for him? So far that all I could do now was live for him? I chuckled to myself, daydreaming as I pictured our time in this bathroom with Shiho and the girls.

The girls, Aiko and Rai were more closed off to all of this, but they were trying to have fun. Rai was the one who was trying to pretty herself up for that cop, she wanted to flirt more and have him as hers. Shiho had tried her best to hype her up, but with the little confidence Rai had, I’m not sure it–

Are you done?

I huffed a laugh, I was not even allowed to remember the good times. She would make sure of that.

I said, are you done?

Turning around to look at Rai, I rolled my eyes, “Why is it that the moment I’m alone you talk to me? I said get the fuck out of my head!” I went to push her, expecting her to disappear but as I did, and felt my hands hitting shoulders, her face changed into that of a stranger who was in shock—I immediately stepped back and apologized, “Shit, sorry. No, I didn’t mean it, I–”

“Damn, I just needed to use the sink, girl, you’ve been at it for 10 minutes?!” She exclaimed, shoving me aside in annoyance as she went about her life. Mumbling another apology, I rushed out of the room after drying my hands and shook my head, in disbelief of what I had done. To try to forget about whatever happened, I pushed my way to where I found the three men sitting. Sanzu scooted to the side a bit to make some room for me to sit between him and Rindou, patting the seat, with Ran sat next to his brother. The scarred man had his arms on the back of the couch spread wide, imposingly, sending the message he would not be bothered tonight and that no one should come by. They looked cozy like this, almost as if they were winding down in a big group hug on this couch and they were, for some reason, inviting me in. 

“What did you do with the girl you were hooking up with, Rindou?” I asked, leaning back and getting grounded in the surroundings, starting the conversation somehow.

“She’s not dead, that’s for sure.” He said, making everyone laugh, then added, “All good things come to an end, unfortunately, I gave her my number, she had to go home.” He moved his phone towards me and mumbled something about needing us all to take a quick pic. Once we did, he sighed dramatically, his head hitting the back of the seat with a breathy laugh. Looking at his phone, Sanzu let out a dry laugh and pushed the device in my hands, showing me a text that read ‘Where are you, I’m picking her up.’ He then proceeded to type while talking, “Looks like you’re past curfew, little girl.”

“It’s whatever.” I sounded exactly as he had put it, like a child. Throwing a tantrum and pissed off at Hanma. Before any of them could speak, I was outraged and let my head hit the back of the seat and fit into the crook of Sanzu’s arm too; looking at the dangling light on the ceiling, I ran my hands through my hair and let out a long sigh, “I don’t want to see him after he tried to make me jealous like that—with a hooker?!”

Ran was the first to speak, “Ain’t that your shit, though? Both messed up with weird ways of flirting.”

I scoffed, “I just don’t get it, is he insecure or something cause I keep receiving weird advances and–”

Rindou tilted his head to the side to try to give me a weirded out look, “Are you saying ‘God, everybody wants me, it’s so hard’?”

My face heated up for a moment. Ran had wanted me. Rindou kept being flirtatious, for a while I thought even Koko could be into me too—was I being… “Yeah, you’re delusional.” Ran stated.

“Fact of the matter is, no one wants you. No one wants him either. I’m sure none of us have any idea why you are both so possessive over each other.” Sanzu explained, both brothers nodding along. Rindou was close to adding something that his brother did not like, receiving a half-slap, half-hit in the stomach to silence him. Humming, I took in their words but was not sure I agreed fully, although if they all thought it, they couldn’t be wrong.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and was starting to get lulled to sleep by the loud music of the club, “Hookers flirt with him, women turn on the streets to look at him–”

Ran interrupted me, “Hookers liking him says a lot about you, if you ask me.”

“Remind me real quick what’s the name of your girl—you know, the one that works in–” Rindou started.

Ran hit him again, grabbing his shirt this time as he stood up and pulled him along, “Get her name out of your mouth Rin, this is nobody’s business.”

His brother grabbed his hand and got it off him, smirking as he shrugged, “I’m saying, it's a bit hypocritical to tell off Crazy here when you’re seeing a hooker yourself.”

“And the tattoos are a sure way to get people to look at him, he also looks too tall for this country. Man’s a freak. Don’t think you gotta worry about people looking for that reason.” Sanzu added, finally letting go of his phone. I managed to get a glimpse of Shiho’s face on the contact photo. It took me a few seconds to take in their words properly, that’s when I huffed, not as much in offense as it was in the feeling of being called out. “And you’re almost as tall as him Ran, I’m saying…”

“Yeah, well, stay safe, I won’t come for you.” Ran said, throwing me a side glance before sitting back down.

“You stay safe, I am not into you.” I said, holding back from making incest jokes or talking about his height or tendencies since the two latter were in line with Hanma’s, or close to.

Hands clasping together brought our attention as Rindou stood up and grinned, “Beautiful! Friendships are blooming, we love to see it, but the big bad wolf is coming.” His eyes flicked with little discretion to his left as if to show us what he was talking about, we all leaned over and glanced, noticing Hanma making his way through the crowd, almost disinterestedly.

Almost was the key word since he seemed so determined, a determination fueled by anger or frustration, I was familiar with it. The cool he was portraying was just a mask. My heartbeat sped up as I made sure to stay seated and ignore his arrival, looking back at Rindou, “If I’m not at the Gala tomorrow, it’s ‘cause I’m dead, alright?”

“Dead by choking? Choking too hard on his–” He stopped dead in his tracks when Hanma hovered right behind him and made him stand aside. The younger Haitani did not stick around and rolled his eyes, bidding us farewell as he walked away from us. Ran was quick to try to follow, but Hanma stopped him, a hand on his chest as he moved in front of him, “You ever send shit like this to me again, you’re a dead Haitani.”

Ran smirked, “What, you didn’t like it? Thought this was your shit, dead body pics exchange and all. You really didn’t like it? Which part—was it that they were men?” He pulled out his phone and looked through the pictures that I couldn’t see, zooming on some before showing Hanma again, “Or that there is a huge smile on her face? Oh no, I get it!” He called my name, catching my attention then asked, “How fun was it to kill that man? With me?”

My eyes widened, locking on Hanma’s apologetically. I felt ashamed. As if I had cheated on him.

He had told him? When? The dots were connecting slowly—he had shared pictures of the entire thing with Hanma, it would explain his anger that should not have been so big for the little amount of texts I had sent him. Instinctively, I moved to Hanma’s side and tried to pry him away from Ran. I did not say anything because whatever I had to say would not help the situation. I had felt good killing the man because it was a useful thing to do, I had taken care of a loose end. I had quite some freedom doing so, but I couldn’t tell them I painfully wanted to kill the second man too, that Ran snapped his neck instead of letting me do it and I was almost… pissed that he took that from me.

“It was just a job, Shuji.” I whispered to him, hoping he would believe me. “It so happened he was there too.” I added.

Hanma smiled at Ran, “Have you checked on your girl recently?”

Ran’s face dropped.

“You know, while you were out with mine. I had some free time while waiting for her to return—which, mind you, she failed to do.” The latter part was for me. But I could only focus on the fact that he had gone to see Ran’s girl instead of directly coming to me. What had he done to her? For me? A message was sent to Ran, clearly, but there was one for me too in there. Ran’s was that he needed to stay in his lane, but it made no sense—nothing bad had happened, no flirting, nothing weird, it had been a job. A surprise one, one that was nowhere near planned, but that was needed nonetheless.

And if the issue was that I had enjoyed killing someone without him… I smiled to myself, had this been his way of spending time with me until now? His way of flirting—had he misinterpreted Ran’s motives as similar to his? My hand slid into Hanma’s, holding it tightly, I felt it being returned and became giddy.

With half a laugh of anger, half in disbelief, Ran grabbed Hanma’s collar and brought his face close, “You’re bluffing.”

Hanma then whispered what I assumed was her address then drawled, “So now, the question is not: is he bluffing? But… what has he done?” He then patted Ran’s shocked face condescendingly and sighed contently, “Which you’ll find out once you go there, so go, go!”

With ire on his face, Ran walked past Hanma only to be stopped dead in his tracks by him, “Oh, and remember!” Hanma said sweetly, “Don’t fuck with me again—not with her.”

Ran shrugged off the other’s hand in disbelief, eyeing the man with hatred, “You’re insane, I really can’t ever deal with your shit.” Then sped off.

With both the Haitanis gone, all that remained was Sanzu alongside Hanma and I.

Both men stared at each other in silence, an unspoken battle seemed to be happening or an argument of some sort, but there was no explanation at all. Only clenched jaws and tempers. I was unsure if they were not speaking due to the loud music or for other reasons, but it did not last—Hanma slightly leaned in, a semblance of a nod or a bow; I thought he would bid him farewell, but instead he locked eyes with Sanzu once more, “Next time you give her crack, you’re a dead man, pink eye.”

“Your insults are as low as she’ll be by the end of this freak show of a relationship you both have. Get out of my club, Stockholm piece of shit–”

“Big of you when your girl’s part of the competition of how low it’s gonna really get–” Before Hanma could even attempt to finish his taunt that was lost on me, Sanzu got up and had a knife against Hanma’s throat. I did not hold back the gasp that escaped my lips, nor the way my arms pulled the taller man out of the blade’s way while mumbling, “Enough, enough, we’re leaving.”

“What? No ‘this isn’t you, stop this Shuji!’” He mocked in a higher pitch voice, a slight smirk on his lips.

Meeting his eyes without any fear, I stated, “This is you, and this is him. I am aware, but I’d rather avoid bloodshed tonight. After all, we all gotta look stunning tomorrow, right?” I said in a lighter tone, looking over to placate Sanzu who was putting away the switchblade with a grumble as his eyes scanned the room. He then looked back at me, “Yeah, that reminds me, Shiho told me to tell you she’s huh—she’s going as…” He pulled up his phone and read out loud, “Slutty chic femme fatale trophy wife?” Turning the words into a question rather than a statement.

Nodding with a smile I said, “Did she say color coded?”

“Yeah, pink coded she said.”

“Noted! Tell her I’ll surprise her tomorrow night, see you both then!” I smiled while pushing Hanma away from him. This control I had over him only lasted until we were out of sight, that’s when he gripped my wrist tightly and led me through the crowd outside to his car. The feeling of the summer air and the quiet of the night felt so soothing when compared to the warmth of the club, but the calm could only last so long.

I was pressed with my back against the side of the car, a slender hand gripping my jaw tight to raise my head and meet his dead eyes, “Simple instructions, so fucking simple and you can’t even follow them?”

“Basic respect and you can’t even provide it?” I spat back, feeling the blood pumping through my veins in excitement. He seemed taken aback, so I continued, “Hookers here, hookers there, fair enough, you do that. Then I’m allowed to fuck around too, right? Or is only one of us allowed to play with the other’s insecurities?”

He did not respond. Instead he opened the door of the passenger seat and told me to get in, which I did only because I wanted to go home. 

The ride was painfully silent. No teasing, no jokes, not one glance stolen towards my person. I had nothing to be blamed for, if by acting like him I would have him mad at me, then he should best understand how I was feeling.

“Is this a love quarrel? Or are you just mad that I returned the favor? Only the favor was not to your taste, so now it’s my problem?” I was petty, I realized that. This was not proper communication, but I wanted him to speak to me, whatever it was. I could not stand the silence. Not from him. Not when he always had good comebacks, no matter the situation.

“I just thought we were past you acting like a douche and spending time with hookers—I get it, you need to get info, but I also know they’re putting their hands on you and that’s something only I’m allowed to do, you know?” I explained rapidly, trying to meet his gaze. His hands did not move from the steering wheel, his eyes never left the road, it’s as if he wasn’t hearing me.

“It was a coincidence that I had to kill these people with Ran, you know that. You don’t get to be mad at me for that. The job’s the job, Shuji. Do you not wish for me to be a part of Bonten?” A huff was all I received. No smile, no glances, a huff.

“Sulk all you want, you’re not allowed to be insecure. I get that you can’t choose how you feel because the brain is all sorts of things and logical isn’t part of it—but like—have you seen me?!” Far from me the idea of feeling ugly, this was not the point. This was deeper, “No one wants this, me, not when it has your fingerprints all over it. It’s used and broken, it’s shaped just for you, Shuji. No one is even glancing my way, alright?” He did not answer once more. Of course. He was having his tantrum on the side, and while maybe my communication was dreadful at the moment, I thought I was still making sense.

He remained silent even as he parked in front of the house.

Opening my door, he let me get out of the car and handed me the keys. I raised a brow in confusion at the chivalrous act of opening the car door for me and at the lack of comprehension of why he was handing me the keys.

Hesitantly, I unlocked the door and waited for him to follow me, but he remained at the entrance, his eyes defiant and gaze distant. 

“What are you waiting for, Shuji? I don’t understand what you’re doing.” I stated, getting more pissed off by the second with his little act as I took the keys from the keyhole.

“You tell me. You’re the one acting out, testing me. If you wanna be in control, take it. Cause you’re tryna understand shit that’s not there, psychoanalyzing me like a shrink.” He pointed towards the car with his thumb over his shoulder, “There is no insecurity. I just know better than you do, doll.” He took a step closer to now stand right in front of me, our chests touching, “But you’re so smart, you know stuff, right? You don’t need to be told shit, independent and all. So, order me around. See how it feels. Since you’re such a strong woman–”

I grabbed his necktie and pulled him down to my height, “Is this because of the drugs or cause I didn’t text every hour? Because I’m not unconscious, so that’s something I respected.” I explained, pulling him inside with me before shutting the door and locking it behind us, “Tell me you’re not mad I hung out with them and that you’re not jealous. Maybe I’ll trust you’re not insecure then.” Slowly I started undoing his vest, watching as his eyes darted to my lips then my hands, not stopping them as he smirked down at me.

“And, yeah, I’m a strong woman. I am. They didn’t do shit to me. It was even fun.” I leaned into his ear and breathed out, sliding my hand under his vest to take it off, leaving him with his shirt and tie, “I humiliated them at poker, you would have been proud of the looks I put on their faces.” Perhaps I pushed him too much since his hands slipped to my hips, holding me to the spot as he pulled me against him and pressed the side of his face to mine, whispering back, “Talking about other men to me is not a way to get me hard, try another technique, it’s embarrassing. Maybe you should let me take the lead.” He mocked.

The humiliation I felt sent electricity coursing through my body as its temperature rose a few degrees, it felt good. Something caught in my throat, he had thrown me off guard but I was determined now. I didn’t mean to take control in the first place, he knew that, but he had given me the reins for some reason. And my pride couldn’t take not doing it justice, not showing I could do just that. I pulled him with me then switched places and pushed him to the couch before taking off his tie and gesturing for him to hand me his wrists.

“In your dreams, doll. I don’t get tied–”

Interrupting him, I went to get his wrists, using the tie to bring them to me but as I did that, he gripped the fabric back and pulled me closer to him, his nose brushing against mine, “I said I don’t get tied. Do that again and you’re–”

So I did just that.

Smirking at him, I tried to wrap it around his hands, making him scoff as he grabbed my wrists and dragged himself off the couch before forcing me on my back. He was half straddling me, balancing himself with one knee on the couch and a foot on the floor, “So that’s what this is.” He said in realization, grinning like a maniac, “Glad she’s dead, she says.” He mocked my words of earlier, a tone much higher than he would usually have if speaking normally, “I’ll fuck her out of you, she says.” He continued.

“Yet here she is, like a bunny caught by a wolf, shivering in anticipation, begging to be fucked.”

“How am I begging? Maybe I poked the bear one too many times, but I’m not a bunny. I am in no danger actually, so I’m not really a prey at all.” I stated, reaching for the buttons of his shirt to finish undressing him as he stared me dead in the eyes. This was threading fine lines, the man was keen on metaphors and I was ignoring them.

Gently, his hand wrapped around my throat, stilling me in my actions as his thumb pressed against the center of my neck dangerously, his lips grazing my cheek, “Of course. Not begging.” His nose brushed against my skin as his lips reached my ear, “Crying out for attention, hating how a hooker had my hands for one night. Hating how it threw you back to the beginning of all of this and for just a moment, you were back to being nothing to me.”

His words struck a chord.

“Cause your head’s a funny place. But who else would give me what I want?” Tilting my head back gently, his hand squeezed my throat perfectly, the blood starting to rush to my head as I looked him in the eyes, “Who else would be gripping my hand like this, wordlessly begging for me to choke her harder? Hm?” He asked sweetly, so sweet that I knew he was mocking me. He squeezed hard enough to have me gasping, digging my nails in his skin as I tried to tap his forearm, at which he immediately stopped.

“That’s exactly what you want, good, hard sex—but you were a complete bitch tonight.” His harsh words did not match with how delicately he took off my shirt, how he exposed my body to his observing eyes. Standing up, he got rid of all that covered my lower half then helped my legs over his shoulders, raising me from the couch so he could see my most embarrassing angle from up close. It seemed more intimate than ever, I tried to push his face away and said, “What are you doing?!”

He shoved my hand to the side and ran his tongue between my legs, “What you don’t want. Cause sadly, doll, you can’t always get what you want.” He pouted, sticking his tongue out wide theatrically before resuming what he was doing with passion. The way he was eating me out felt so good and familiar and yet strange. He would so rarely do this, how could my body crave it and my mind abhor it? The gentleness of his touch, how tender his hold was on my thighs, how soft his gaze was meeting my annoyed one—it was all unfamiliar and unsettling. 

“Bite me.” I gritted through my teeth, trying to guide his head to my inner thigh and his intentions towards the right mood. He laughed between my legs and slowly looked up with a pleading look, “Did I hear you right? Are you telling me what to do? I thought we both understood I knew better–”

Gripping a fistful of his hair, I tilted his head to the side. Before I could say anything, he unhooked my hand and scoffed dryly before getting up and sighing, “You’re a fucking pain tonight—my doll wants attention, but nothing is good enough, it seems.” I heard him opening a drawer, but did not move from my spot on the couch. I only listened. “Which makes you wonder, should she have the choice of what she’s getting tonight?” He grabbed something, then slowly stepped back towards me, “The answer’s no.”

A zipping sound. Then I felt him grab my hands as he dragged me off the couch and to my knees, bringing my wrists behind my back and tying them with cable ties. “As I was fucking saying…” He tilted my head back with his index finger, looking at my exposed body then brushing my hair back, “It’s going to be so fucking soft tonight, you’re going to be begging for me to forgive your little act out there. You know I have to teach you manners, right?”

I hated that he wanted to make this gentle, it was insane, it was boring. I couldn’t help but be curious of what it would be like—normal sex—and how long he would hold on before growing impatient with it all. So I smirked, “The floor isn’t very comfortable, your little ‘acting normal’ gig is starting off on the wrong foot.” With that he laughed and helped me to my feet before guiding me upstairs and pushing me to the bed, forcing me on my back by grabbing my ankles tight. It was much more thrilling like that, the roughness, the force—so I laughed giddily.

He was taken by surprise and rolled his eyes, a ghost of a smile on his lips before he took off his shirt, “Glad this makes you laugh, ‘least one of us gotta.” He stated as he knelt at the end of the bed and grabbed my foot, kissing my ankle while holding the other down when I tried to kick him away. His touches were sweet, loving, he had closed his eyes in the moment as he left a trail of kisses up my leg, making me gasp and hold back a giggle at the strange gesture. His hand was stroking my skin and was following the path his lips did, higher and higher, so slowly that I tried to reach for his face only to be reminded my hands were tied behind my back. “No hurry, really. Take your time.” I said dryly, letting my head lull back when he gently, playfully, dug his teeth in my skin to tease.

“I’m planning on it.” He said, looking up at me, “I could lose you at any point now–” he paused and brought my knees around his face as he kissed one of them, his cold hands making the hairs stand all over my body at the temperature clash, “You’re making the choice of going out there, with assholes that can’t comprehend this—you.” His kisses reached the lower part of my stomach, he held my legs and hooked them around his waist as he trailed his tongue up and reached my breast, “They wouldn’t think twice if the choice was their life or yours.”

The words caught in my throat, I had no witty comeback, just confusion. Why did he care about them? About what could happen to me, when he had been the one to bring me to this lifestyle. It was only now that I was growing my own wings that he was growing hesitant, wary. “They’re not your friends, they don’t give a shit, you have to understand that.” His hands slid up from my knees to under my back as he dragged me against him, closer, before letting his hands roam even higher. It was almost as if he was hugging me, his lips warm against my chest, his breath the sole contrast to the boiling anger that was building in my body.

Why was he trying to tear me down?

Did he not wish for me to be a part of this? After all we went through to have me recognized as a semblance of something?

Nothing seemed right for him, why was he acting like this?

“Because you’re mine. I brought you into this, and now, no matter what, they won’t see you as anything. Do the same to them.” He breathed against my skin, it felt childish. Like he was having a tantrum, and part of me liked it; his possessiveness, his jealousy of others, my heart almost reached for his for how protective he was. But the stronger part of me felt… grossed out.

Calling out his name, I shook my head, “It’s always like this, ‘no, doll, don’t go with them. Doll, don’t make friends. Doll, don’t do this.’” I mimicked. I couldn’t push him away, so instead I rolled my eyes before closing them, “Do you hear yourself? You brought me in this fucking mess, Shuji. Now that you don’t have full control over what happens, you’re trying to put me in a cage?” His head, which was almost resting between my breasts, lifted up to meet my face above me. He looked right through me and sorrow seemed to adorn his gaze. It didn’t make sense.

“Don’t act like you care, Shuji. That’s not what this is, not what we are.”

The confusion did not lessen when his lips met mine softly, his fingers gently trailing down my stomach. Before I realized it, I felt them enter me and moaned in surprise, he smiled against my lips. “Don’t I?” Care. He pecked my lips again, “Isn’t it?” What this is. Then the kiss deepened, I don’t know why I kissed him back, this was wrong. This—this was not how we showed our love, this was unfair. My heart was beating fast, begging for more of this tenderness but my brain could feel how strange this all was.

“You don’t realize the shit I did for you,” He sighed between our kisses before freeing his cock, out of breath, as his free hand held my cheek while the other guided himself inside me, “I brought you in this ‘cause–” We both grunted at the new sensation, how good he felt but how unwelcomed it all was, it did not feel like him. It did not feel like me. “We made each other—and time won’t do us apart, I can promise you that.” It did not feel like a justification of his actions, but I couldn’t think of anything to say to him. It all felt so intimate and vulnerable, I had never seen him like this, and yet it did not feel like he was talking to me.

Our breaths were merging into one as his lips kept grazing mine at each trust, each of the moans escaping was another show of how our bodies were made for one another, as he put it, but my mind… my mind was somewhere else. 

Closing my eyes to try to enjoy this stranger fucking me, my mouth started forming words, “Don’t you think it’s too late for that?” Why had I said that? Was it because in my mind I was already detached from him? Or was it because the damage he had done to me was not something that could be fixed?

His thrusts quickened, both his hands holding my head still as his forehead rested against mine, “Then I’ll try again—I don’t fucking care how many times—I have to try.” He stuttered between breaths, I felt myself smiling while blinking tears away. I didn’t know why I was crying, nor why I was smiling but his words were somehow comforting.

“Always so determined, Shuji.” I breathed out, hooking my legs behind his as I felt myself getting closer and closer. He chuckled, “You know me better than anyone, babe.” His thrusts stopped, his cock still inside me as he shivered a breath of relief before reaching a hand between us, gently rubbing circles to help me finish. An action he had never done before. I was sure my wrists were irritated from how much I was struggling against the zip ties behind my back, probably digging into my skin. My back arched against him, this was too unfamiliar. I muttered some pleas, telling him I was close like a mantra; I wasn’t even sure he knew what I was saying, but he laughed softly, “There’s my girl, come on, you know you want to give into it—shit, I can feel your grip on my dick, come on, give it to me–” He let out a shaky breath as his thumb played skillfully with my clit. Lazily, he resumed thrusting inside me.

I shook my head, “No, no, don’t—I don’t want to—this isn’t good.” I whined, trying to hold back from cumming. My breathing was uneven and the moans escaping my lips were exactly what he wanted to hear, from the growing smile I could catch on his face while my vision was fading to white. “Shu, I don’t–” the pleading only drove him to make me reach my climax, which I did with a loud whine of relief. He pulled out and used his shirt to wipe me clean before grabbing a blade from a drawer and helping me to the side, cutting the zip tie to free my wrists.

Immediately, I sat up and gave him a strange look, “What’s next, are you going to bring me water now? What the fuck was that?”

“You complain so much, and for what? You didn’t enjoy it, I told you it was a punishment, didn’t I?” Suddenly, all the intimacy from earlier was gone. He was not meeting my eyes, instead he was looking around the wardrobe for fresh clothes, grabbing some for me too. “I picked out your dress for tomorrow, this is a big event so you can’t slut out like your girl wants you to.” He explained dryly, not liking Shiho’s description of her outfit. He was not answering my question of earlier, he was not clearing up my confusion of who was this man that just fucked me because it was not the Hanma Shuji I knew.

“Dressing up your doll, are you?” I whispered, standing up on wobbly legs, only for him to hold me by the bicep as he looked down at me with mischief, a particular look I had not seen yet on him. One that was not something I should have been wary of, in theory, which is exactly why I feared it, “Something like that. Can’t let my girl look debauched—that’s just for me.” He scoffed.

I chuckled, slowly recognizing him again, but still a little shaken.

“Well, can I at least see the dress?” I asked, trying to look inside the wardrobe. He moved in front of me as he tossed our clothes on the bed and held me with one hand on my hip, the other tilting my chin up, “Yeah, of course. Tomorrow. I told the girl your measurements,” He looked down at my chest and pressed a finger on my tattoo, “said we needed to see this, and it had to be elegant.” His nose brushed against mine, his lips were complete ghosts on my mouth, “The rest is up to her, she made the dress you ruined that night at the cemetery—do you recall, little Alice?”

Feeling nostalgia from that time, I genuinely smiled and pecked his lips, remembering the thrill of that night, “That was kind of cringe, you were more of a Cheshire Cat than a Mad Hatter—still are.” I said playfully.

He kissed me in annoyance, “You said that last time, but we don’t fuck cats here, babe.” He joked, making me laugh as I pushed him playfully, “You know that’s not what I meant.”

“Do I?” He asked with a smirk, walking back and letting go of me as he grabbed our clothes and was ready to shower, “Come, I’m not staying awake any longer. Tomorrow’s gonna be… eventful.” He trailed off, suspiciously so. Following him, I took a look at his back tattoo and placed my hand on it, slowly trailing it all over, “Shibata’s going to be everywhere, aren’t they?”

“Yeah, odds are they’re gonna try to ambush us or something.” He explained offhandedly.

I sighed, “Can we kill them if they come for us? What’s the agreement between Bonten and Shibata?” I knew I shouldn’t have asked, because he didn’t want me like that. He hated how analytical I was now, facing all of these problems. He hated that I was now just like him, so I quickly added, “Just so I don’t mess up! I feel like they might come for me—you know, because you’re important to Bonten.” I smiled softly, my hands sliding around to hold him from behind as they rested on his stomach.

He unhooked them and turned around, looking at me unbothered, “You stick to me. If they gotta die, I’ll do it. It’s that simple.”

I held back from telling him it was stupid, that I should be able to hold my own ground and roam around without him, but debating that was useless. I would just leave his side at some point, he might not realize it, or he might; if he did, he would come looking for me all angry and—I felt myself smiling stupidly, making him raise a brow, “What’s funny?”

“You’re right, I should stay by your side.” Should, not will do.

I added, “It’s safer.” But what does safe even mean with all the criminals surrounding us?

I smiled and nipped at his jaw, “Like Bonnie and Clyde, criminal couple–”

He pushed my face and rolled his eyes, “Ain’t that worse than Alice and the Mad Hatter? Come on, get in.”

I laughed at that but my mind was not really in the moment. While we showered, I was just thinking of the odds that I would come across a Shibata.

And how bad it would be if they were triggered enough by some things, as to come for me.

And how easy it would be to kill them, with the right incentives.

I simply had to find the right occasion, because neither Mikey nor Hanma needed to know I wanted to kill. All they needed was a justification.

I could make something up.

As we got in bed, I whispered in the dark to Hanma, “Tomorrow’s going to be fun, I’m sure of it.”

[To be continued]

[bunnyb34r]

I don't get how Prince Charming had a hard time finding Cinderella based off her shoe I mean just look at her shoe vs that of the average maiden!

Why do the Wreck it Ralph princesses have such huge feet compared to barbie? 😭

[bontenten]

Ours

Pairing: Osamu x f!reader, Atsumu x f!reader

Tags/Warnings: noncon, infidelity, pregnancy/forced abortion, knife stuff, gore, body horror, snuff, wound, necro-stuff, abuse, yandere, angst

Osamu stares at your pregnant belly; a round barrier that’s keeping you away from him. He knows you don’t even want it. Otherwise why would you come crying to his onigiri shop crying tonight. It’s obviously because you tried to go to a clinic, but who in their right mind would try to abort the baby of famous athlete Miya Atsumu? 

Atsumu gagged them all with money, tied their hands together with even more promises. There’s nothing for you to do but stay put and birth the child. It took everything for you to find a time with no bodyguards to slip away. If it weren’t for the excuse that you wanted to shop for baby clothes, Atsumu would never have allowed you to even step foot outside the house.

“Please help me,” you sob, taking a step closer to the one who looks almost identical to your fiance. “There’s no one else but you.”

You look pathetic, makeup smudged and messy. Osamu smugly looks down at you. “Only now you finally realize?” He grips your jaw and forces you to look at him, fingers squeezing your cheeks and making your lips pucker. “I told you before, didn’t I? Atsumu’s a crazy bastard, but I would take care of you. All he wants is to use you as a breeding cow, his little cocksleeve. That’s all you’ll ever be to him. Shallow, gold-digging bitch, you reap what you sow.”

“Shh-shhamoo, ‘Samu” you slur between your teeth, “shorrry.” Sorry. You regret it now. You probably shouldn’t have turned Osamu down in the first place for Atsumu. Maybe you really were blinded by Atsumu’s reputation and prestige...and his money. He could give you what Osamu could not at the time and the simple life working tirelessly, saving and making ends meet wasn’t how you wanted to live. But really, you shouldn’t have ever gotten yourself involved with the twins.

“Sorry? SORRY?! You say?” Slap. Osamu yanks you back up with a fistful of your hair. “You hurt me. I loved you and gave you my heart, but you...you broke me. And now you’re just going to sweep it all under the rug with ‘sorry’?”

“Sorry, I really am ‘Samu,” you sob, wincing from the sharp pain shooting through your scalp. “I’m not asking for forgiveness. Please help me, I’m begging you. I know only you can save me now.”

The tight grip on your hair relents and Osamu wipes the messy trail of smudged makeup from beneath your eye. He smiles almost gently, “That’s right, only I can protect you. Stupid, took you too long.”

Osamu’s kisses are deceptively soft. Another reason you left Osamu for Atsumu is also this. Osamu made you feel like you were dangled over deep waters with no safety net. You couldn’t tell what was on his mind, he hid his thoughts much better than Atsumu. Atsumu was more straightforward and that gave you security. But right now, only Osamu can give you safety and protection. Even though you know it’s not right, the time and the person, you can’t help but respond back

Your hands thread through his grey locks as bodies come closer until Osamu feels your pregnancy pressed against him. He pulls away abruptly and stares. You follow his eyes to your belly and the unmistakable growing biology within it beyond the skin and flesh.

“You want to get rid of it, right?” Osamu mutters, palming the protrusion.

“Yes...but—” 

“Shut up,” he snaps, stalking to the kitchen quickly. You find him back a moment later with a knife in his hand, sharpened tip pointed at you. “You asked me to help, I’m going to help you.”

“What are you doing?” you ask hesitantly, unsure and frightened. With the blade pointed at your throat you have no choice but to back up as Osamu comes closer to you. You feel the edge of the table at your hip, another step and your stumble, falling back onto the table surface. 

Osamu loosens the tie on his apron and stands between your legs, forcing them apart. You hear some buckling noises and strain your head to see his length fully erect. His hands travel to your waist to pull your skirt and panties down. Your hand stops him in their tracks. Your widened eyes are alarmed at what Osamu really wants.

“Not this! Please, not this ‘Samu,” you argue, trying to pull his hand away from tearing the clothing from you.

Osamu deftly slices the knife across the back of your hand, drawing out a thin line of red. The pain has your hand flinching away, letting Osamu pull the skirt down, exposing the naked skin of your belly, and pussy folds below it. “Gonna fuck this bastard out of you,” he mutters, stuffing himself into your hole.

You scream, legs kicking out wildly as you feel the thick intrusion sheath itself into you fully. You can feel the tip pushing through your tight muscles, getting closer and closer to your womb.

“Fuck,” Osamu groans. “If I didn’t see your pregnant belly, I would’ve thought you were a little virgin. You’re so fucking tight.”

“No! Please I’m begging you, stop!”

“You begged me to help you get rid of the little bastard.” He hammers into you even harder, assaulting your cervix, the one that’s plugged like a gate.

At some point, your wails are lost when the cries become increasingly lewd. You can’t help the moans that slip out of your mouth each time Osamu pushes into you. Each draw and thrust sends waves of pleasure throughout your whole body. The bliss is almost enough for you to forget that you didn’t have your current burden, the pregnancy, that fetus. It’s kinda a pathetic state for you, being fucked on a table of the restaurant belonging to your fiance’s twin? And enjoying it?

This thing within you...if only it weren’t Atsumu’s but Osamu’s instead. It was a mistake all along.

The pain comes swift and overwhelming, an agonizing hell when you register the three inches of blade buried above your pubic bone, carving its way horizontally across. Your flesh parts like gauze, the skin splitting open sideways, the yellow paddings of your fat and the red that floods over. 

Osamu pulls out the knife as he buries himself deeply into you, shooting his seed into the sealed-off womb. Your body shudders as the pain signals run havoc in your brain and the orgasm washes through beyond the pain. Your head tosses from side to side as empty screams fall from your throat. Shock takes over your body as more and more blood comes pouring out from your womb along with the fountain of amniotic fluids.

Osamu isn’t so much as bothered by the amount of red and clear pooling behind you and dripping onto the wood floor. He sticks his finger through the laceration and fingers through your guts, pushing the intestine aside until he finds the tear in the womb.

“Found it!” Osamu delightfully shoves his hand in, grabbing at the mass of dividing flesh and umbilical cord sustaining it. The mound is more difficult to remove than Osamu thinks, he tugs and tugs. It takes the muscles of his whole arm, the same ones carrying rice bags daily, to successfully detach placenta stuck to your womb.

The blood spurts in a flood, filling your belly cavity, painting Osamu’s shirt crimson. Your blood splatters across his legs and drips down his cock.

Osamu has never seen a full placenta like this in its glory. He has heard of people who have cooked it before. It’s the nature of a chef to be intrigued by ingredients of a rare and bizarre nature. But not today.

He drops the mounds on the floor, worse than food scraps. He clambers to the top of the table, knees straddling your body.

“I did it,” he tells your open yet empty eyes, looking for his thank you.  He reaches his stained hand and caresses your faded cheek, smearing red across your skin. “I got it out for you.” He kisses your cold lips. 

You don’t respond.

“‘Tsumu and I are genetically identical,” he tells your body. “You know what that means? That means the same cell that created that, I have it too.There’s no difference in biology, between his and mine.”

Osamu's hand wraps around his cock and pumps the length, the slick of blood squelching around him.

“But you didn’t want his version, huh? You wanted mine right? “ He chuckles and positions his cock against the gaping hole where your womb begins to deflate.

Your residual warmth still wraps around him, the yellow fats squishy and soft. Osamu wraps your gash around him, thrusting straight into your womb. 

“Could’ve been with me, could’ve been...ours.”

Each thrust propels your body back and forth, tugged along his movements like an empty doll that's chewed and clawed broken. Fallen apart by seams, insides spilling out, completely drained. Only to be filled with Osamu’s seed, that you’ll never have a chance to foster.

[speechlessxx]

A Year (Steve Rogers x Reader)

Summary: Steve realizes he doesn’t belong in the past.

Warnings: I’m undoing Steve’s Endgame ending (I didn’t like it I’m sorry not sorry), hurt feelings, angst, also the Quantum Realm stuff is confusing so in this a week in the past is a year in present-day. Time travel is confusing.

Word Count: 3.3k 

Feedback is appreciated and I hope you enjoy!

“I think we need to quit while we’re ahead,” Steve told you. You were shocked. You opened your mouth to speak – to object – but you quickly shut it.

The team had just come back from the time heist. You stayed behind. Your older brother, Tony, told you it was a safety precaution. If anything looks out of the ordinary, you pull them all back. They were flashed away, and in a minute, they were back.

They all had grins on their faces, each team retrieved their designated stones. But Clint had a somber expression on his face as he fell to a knee. The thud had everyone’s head snapping to his direction as the cheery atmosphere quickly decimated. “Clint, where’s Nat?” Bruce asked his smile quickly fading. But Clint didn’t need to answer. Natasha’s absence made it clear. She was gone.

“Is this about Natasha?” You finally asked. Your head was spinning. He shook his head. You withdrew your hands from Steve’s and looked up at him with teary eyes. “Steve? Why?”

His jaw clenched as he looked away from you. He couldn’t look you in the eyes. “I… I think it’s better if we ended it, (Y/N).” His voice broke at the end as he choked back his own tears. He had a speech. He had it planned in his head. But it all went out the window when you stared up at him with those glossy eyes.

Steve thought you’d argue. You were good at arguing. You had a talent for it. He prepared himself for your outburst – in fact, he wanted you to yell at him. But you just nodded. “Goodbye, Steve,” you whispered before walking out the door and leaving the Avengers Compound – and Steve – for good. As soon as you were completely alone, your hand fell to your womb as you cried even harder.

Steve believed he was doing the right thing. In his and Tony’s separate mission to get the Tesseract and extra Pym Particles, he saw her. Peggy Carter, his first love, was mere feet away – a glass window stood between them. And Steve felt awful about the longing feeling that crept into his chest.

He had once imagined a future with Peggy. It was all ripped away from him when he nosedived into the ice.

He was thrust into a new, modern world. Boiled food items weren’t the only thing on the menu, the internet made everything accessible (not that he understood it all that much), gas prices were higher. He was displaced, but Steve adapted. He clung onto what he knew best – being a soldier.

He met you months after the first Avengers team up. Tony Stark’s little sister. You were all the Brainiac that your brother was but less arrogant (though you were just as snarky). Tony invited the team – though Thor was a bit preoccupied in the other worlds – back to New York for a charity gala. Steve saw you for the first time in a navy-blue gown with a sweetheart neckline. He eyed you for hours until Natasha accidentally (it was not) pushed him into you. His face had turned beet red as he profusely apologized. After that, you two spent the entire evening together and quickly became inseparable (much to Tony’s dismay, but he liked the idea of you with a good man… he’d never admit that though).

Everything he imagined he’d have with Peggy, he saw it with you. He had your future together so vividly outlined and painted in his mind. It was a true masterpiece.

But then he saw Peggy again. And it only felt right.

A year had passed since Tony’s death – a year since Natasha’s. A year since Steve took the stones and returned them. The plan was for him to return, too, but all that came back was a long letter attached to the shield. You were told that he returned to the past, but you knew what it meant. He returned to her. Bucky offered to give you the letter – “Steve’s farewell address” as Sam called it – but you refused. You didn’t need another goodbye. You told yourself if Steve was happy, then you’re happy.

-=+=-

But Steve wasn’t happy.

The first day he knocked on Peggy’s door and she opened it with a shocked expression. “Steve,” she gasped, wrapping her arms around him, “you came back.” They shared their long overdue dance, but something felt off. She didn’t fit in his arms the way you did. He felt as if he was jamming the wrong puzzle pieces together. But Steve told himself that he made his decision. He’d have to stick with it.

“I’m married, Steve,” Peggy admitted to him. “The dance is nice and all, but … you don’t belong here.” She shook his head at him. She looked deep into Steve’s eyes with a frown. “There’s someone else out there for you, but … it’s not me.” Peggy released herself from his arms and shut off the record player.

He spent a week in the past, keeping his head low. Peggy and her husband offered to let him stay with them for the time being. Steve didn’t know why he stayed in the past for as long as he did.

Perhaps he was looking for a reason to stay, but deep-down Steve knew. He didn’t want to return to the present knowing he had hurt you. He was wrong for doubting the love he had for you. When Peggy had told him there’s someone else out there for you, his mind instantly went to you and your teary eyes. The last time he saw you, you were crying because of him.

He just knew he had to right his wrongs.

-=+=-

“Nathaniel,” you said sternly as you tried to feed your baby his bottle. The pot on the stove started to release some smoke. “Bucky, little help?”

Bucky laughed as he took the infant from your arms, allowing you to refocus on cooking. “Okay, little man, you heard your mama… Say ahhh.” It took a few moments, but Nathaniel finally obliged and opened his mouth. Bucky fed him and then soon began to burp him.

“Oh, he’s so big!” A voice called out. “Look at you! (Y/N), he’s gonna be a future lady killer.” Sam emerged with gift bags in hand. Nathaniel grew excited upon seeing him. Sam cooed at the baby that rested in Bucky’s arms for a few moments before walking up to you. He gave you a friendly peck on the cheek and giving you a tight hug. “And Happy Birthday to you, (Y/N).”

Hours later, your guests started arriving at the Stark Tower. (Tony had left it to you as a parting gift after he and Pepper moved into their cabin. “It’s as much yours as it is mine,” Tony told you. “I mean we share the last name.”). The party was intimate. Your closest friends – the ones who’ve been with you every step of your pregnancy – were the only invitees.

You cooed at your baby in your arms. His eyelids grew heavy as he curled deeper into your arms. You smiled before putting him in his crib. You stared at him, admiring your creation, although your heart did ache. He looked so much like his father.

You grew teary eyed once again. You bit your lip to stop the sob. “C’mon, (Y/N), there are guests downstairs,” you told yourself. “Pull yourself together.”

“Hey, doll,” a soft voice whispered. You turned to meet Bucky’s soft eyes.

“Sorry,” you muttered, wiping away your tears. “Hormonal.”

“C’mere,” Bucky motioned for you and you walked over to him. He knew it was more than just hormones. He engulfed you in his arms, rocking you both side to side slightly.

After Steve’s departure, you and Bucky found solace in one another. Bucky thought it was an unlikely friendship – he did kill your parents after all. But you found comfort in the once super assassin despite his misdeeds to your family. (To you, it wasn’t Bucky who killed them). Although Bucky didn’t agree, you felt as if you were both tossed aside by the same man.

You didn’t even get the chance to tell Steve you were pregnant. You didn’t tell anyone. Bucky was the first person you told. You begged him to keep it to himself. You were hellbent on going through it alone, but Bucky was the one who rallied everyone behind you. Pepper, Sam, Clint, Bruce, Wanda – he made sure you weren’t alone.

After you gathered yourself, you returned to the small get together. You chatted amongst your guests for a while before Wanda excitedly clapped, “okay! Presents time!” Everyone took turns giving your gifts. You told them they didn’t need to, but everyone insisted.

“Best for last!” Bucky called out. He stood up from your side, sifting through the mess of wrapping paper to find his gift. “Aha!” He called out, triumphantly lifting a neatly wrapped box.

“Hello?” A voice called out from the elevator entrance. You felt the color drain from your face, instantly recognizing it. Everyone else frowned as they turned towards hallway and out emerged, Steven Grant Rogers.

“Steve?” Sam said in disbelief.

Bucky’s eyes glanced from you to his friend. You were shaken. It was as clear as day. You sat stiff and tense in middle of the couch, your wide eyes were trained to the floor and your jaw was so clenched he was afraid you’d break your teeth.

“What – it’s great to see you,” Pepper greeted, similarly shocked.

“Likewise,” Steve nodded. You felt your heart thudding against your sternum as your ears grew hot. “Everyone… It’s great to see you all.” He licked his lips nervously as he walked into the heart of the party, the living room. “Happy Birthday, (Y/N)…”

Attention quickly shifted to you. Your hands had clenched into fists and were shaking. Everyone knew what was coming. You had kept it all in for a year… It was bound to come out.

They were expecting rage, but all you said was a quiet, “get out.”

“(Y/N) – “ Steve began.

“GET THE FUCK OUT.” You finally snapped. Everyone winced. There was the rage they were waiting for. A year of bottling it all up had you finally exploding. You quickly stood up and stomped over to Steve. You grabbed his arms and began to pull him towards the elevators, but the super soldier didn’t budge. “Get the fuck out of my home, Steven.”

“(Y/N), please – “

“No! You don’t get to come back, Steve!” You screamed, your tears running down your face. “You left. Remember? You broke up with me and then you left. You went back to Margaret freaking Carter. My brother died saving the universe and you left!” You pointed at Bucky. “Remember him? Your pal, your buddy, your Bucky,” Steve winced at your harshness. “You fought so hard to get him back. You fought against my brother to save him. And you ditched him like you ditched me. I don’t want to know why you’re back. I don’t care. Get the fuck out of my home, Steve. You son of a – “Your anger quickly diminished as soon as you heard it. It was faint. The thick walls of the tower muffled it, but you heard it. “Oh, god, Nathaniel.” You rushed back up the stairs.

It was as if he had sensed your anger because he surely couldn’t have heard your yells through the walls. You took him in your arms as you began to coddle him, shushing and cooing at him to ease him. “I’m sorry, baby,” you whispered, tears still falling. “Mama’s sorry.”

Steve wanted to follow you. He was confused. Nathaniel? He took two steps before both Sam and Bucky stopped him. They shook their heads, silently telling him it wasn’t the best idea. “I – I …” Steve stuttered but nothing came out. “I’m sorry, Buck. Sam.” He finally said. “I’m sorry to all of you. I shouldn’t have left the way I did especially after Tony… I’m sorry Pepper.”

“I’ve made my peace with it,” Pepper smiled sadly.

“We all got over you leaving, eventually,” Sam said.

Bucky pointed up the stairs. “But she hasn’t…”

“Everything happened so fast, Steve… One minute you loved her, the next you told her you wanted to end things. Then, her brother dies. On top of everything, she was pregnant… She put on a brave face for us,” Bucky sighed. “She told herself she’d survive for her baby and that’s what she did… But man, she struggles daily…”

“She was pregnant?” Steve asked. Why didn’t you tell him?

“And you come back on her birthday of all days?” Sam scoffed.

“I have a kid?”

“No,” Bucky shook his head. “She has a son. You can’t waltz back in here after a year and have your old life back, Steve. It may have been – what a week? – for you, it’s been a year for us.”

“But I’m back… for good. I swear,” Steve said. “I… I don’t belong in the past. I never did. I belong here. I just want to talk to her.”

Sam and Bucky shared a look. Sam nodded but Bucky stayed still. He looked back at his oldest friend with a glum expression. “If she wants you out, you leave. Got it?”

“Buck – “

“I mean it. You weren’t here for a year, but I was. I was the one who held her when she broke down. I was the one who force fed her when she refused to eat. I was the one who got her out of bed. I was the one who was there when they delivered her baby. You weren’t there for her for a year.” Bucky snapped. “So, if she wants you out, you leave. No ifs, ands or buts. Got it?”

“I do,” Steve nodded. “I do.”

-=+=-

Steve wasn’t sure which room it was, but then he heard, “it’s okay, baby… Mama’s here.” He followed your voice to a dimly lit room – the only light was a crescent moon lamp that was hung on the wall. He leaned against the doorframe of the room, admiring the nursery.

The walls were painted a light, sky blue. There was a white wooden crib and a matching wooden shelf. (They were housewarming presents from Clint’s family). The room was very neat for a nursery. The toys were tucked away in crates and everything was organized.

He watched you as you bounced your baby. You softly whispered sweet nothings to his ear, lulling him to sleep. Steve felt a pang in his chest. It dawned on him that he missed a year of this. Soon, the baby was fast asleep, and you placed him back in the crib.

You stared at him again. You always did. An 18-hour labor brought you this miracle, so, of course, you would admire him. He was never fussy, never too difficult. (You liked to think karma gifted Nathaniel’s calm temperament to you because of all the shit you had to go through). He looked so much like Steve. Except your eyes. He got your eyes.

“Come look,” you whispered. You knew he was in the room. You could always feel when Steve was nearby. Steve detached himself from his position, eager to get a glimpse of your child.

“He’s beautiful,” Steve muttered in absolute awe.

“Nathaniel Anthony Stark,” you said, softly. “He was 8.6 pounds. 18-hour labor. Healthy pregnancy.”

“I’m glad.”

You sniffled but quickly wiped away your tears. “The pushing part, though… God, I hated you.” Steve frowned and glanced at you. You looked back at him. The same teary look you had given him when he broke up with you. “I never talked about you after you left, but when the labor pains kicked in, god,” you chuckled, “I cursed you out so much. I wish Bucky recorded it.”

Steve smiled a bit. “I’m glad he was there for you.”

“I think he felt responsible,” you shrugged. “His best friend knocked up his girlfriend, broke up with her, then chased an old flame.”

“I’m sorry,” Steve sighed. “Can we talk somewhere else?” You nodded and led him into the hallway.

“I’m sorry for yelling at you,” you said as soon as the door was shut. “I… I just saw you and the rage – I should’ve controlled myself.”

“I deserved it,” Steve assured you. “You deserved a decent explanation and I couldn’t give you that.”

“I didn’t give you much of a choice… I just left,” you shrugged. “But I know how you get. If you made up your mind, it’s a done deal. No use in arguing.”

“I was conflicted,” Steve admitted. “When Tony and I went back, I saw her, and I reminisced. I remembered everything I wanted with her…” Your face fell. “I went back with the intention of staying there.”

“I think I’ve changed my mind. I don’t want an explanation.”

“No, please,” Steve begged. “Please, (Y/N).” You bit your lip and sighed before nodding. “I made a mistake. I knew it when Peggy and I were dancing.”

You smiled at that. “You finally got your dance with her.” You remembered the story. You remembered how your heart broke for Steve when he first told you.

“I did,” Steve nodded. “But it didn’t feel right.” You frowned at that. “Peggy and I aren’t meant to be. I know that now. We don’t… we don’t fit. Her life went on without me. Time moved on. And I moved on, too… with you. I remembered a time when I wanted a future with Peggy, but I can’t envision it. Not anymore.

“But when I think of the future with you… I see a wraparound porch and a sweet home by the lake. I see Christmas trees decorated every year and Thanksgiving dinners. I see a ring around your finger – a simple diamond. You weren’t like Tony… you were never really into flashy things. I see a family,” he gestured towards the nursery. “I want all of that with you.”

“My life has been on a standstill ever since you left,” you confessed. “I can’t bring myself to move on. I couldn’t. I saw a future with you and only you. And then you were gone, I didn’t want a future anymore. But I had Nathaniel. I had to keep going if not for me, then for him.” You looked at Steve with those same teary eyes.

“You broke me, Steve. I can’t even explain how it felt. I woke up every day and I felt like I was in hell. I can’t… I can’t go through that again. I won’t.”

“Then, don’t…” Steve said. He reached for you and you let him hold you in his arms. “I’m sorry. I’m so incredibly sorry. Words can’t describe my regret. I swear to you, on my life, I will never abandon you again. I’m here for good. And I’ll never leave.”

“You shouldn’t promise that,” you shook your head. “Something will always – “

“You’re my present and you’re my future.” Steve promised. “You don’t have to forgive me yet, but I want to make it up to you and Nathaniel if you’ll let me?”

You looked at Steve before sighing. “Okay,” you nodded. “Okay, Steve.”

“I love you.” He blurted out. His eyes widened in realization. “You don’t have to say it back… Not yet. But, it’s the truth… I love you and I’ll love you until I die and even after then.” You smiled at him softly before nodding.

“Okay, Steve.”

You wanted to say it back. It only felt natural to do so. But you restrained yourself. You wanted to heal the relationship with Steve first.

(But soon enough, after several long months, and many of Steve’s I love you’s only to be met with an “Okay Steve”… You were able to return those three words).

[brideofcthulhu10]

How would the Lost boys react to having a motherly type of s/o?

OH MY GOD I DIDN'T KNOW TUMBLR POSTED THIS UNFINISHED! UGH STUPID APP! Okay, redo!

Cuuute. The boys could certainly use a motherly touch around, even Max had said that when he wanted to turn Lucy. For this I am gonna be writing a female s/o, if you ever want otherwise always be sure to specify ahead of time otherwise DM me and I’ll be sure to correct it. I love the idea one behind the scenes with the boys, after the late night partying and wild blood orgies. I mean, let's be realistic here- those guys probably smell like cigarettes and ass. That cave is no doubt absolutely filthy as hell, and I don’t think they’ve cleaned up a day of their afterlife. 

Lost Boys with a Motherly Fem!S/O

David

Now David isn’t exactly the type to be told what to do in almost any scenario. Well, almost. But even then he still prefers the majority of the control. It’s going to be a challenge to get anything done with him. Any sort of lectures or advice tend to fall on deaf ears simply because he and the boys have taken care of themselves for so long. Your best method of choice? STEALTH

I’m serious, you gotta be sneaky with this boy. He’ll wake up to you cleaning the hotel because you had assumed it was still daylight, or sweeping around when they go on hunts. Don’t fuck with the cobwebs, its an aesthetically pleasing decoration! Frankly, he’s just a brat who doesn’t like change. It’s gotten to the point however, where he can’t exactly stop you so he just decides to be a butt about it. Take-out trash litter the hotel lobby, he’ll even leave out half-full open containers and try to get some real maggots up in there. Not if you have anything to say about it! Sometimes he wonders how you can keep it as clean as you do.

You have no idea how absolutely rank a pack of teenage vampires can be. Especially with unwashed clothes. Seriously, David and Paul’s boots could make rats gag, the stank of unwashed vamp toes is gnarly. That can be a bit of a fight. Well someone has to get all those bloodstains out! What do you think they just vanished the next day? None of the boys want clean clothes, especially David. According to them you can't be badass vampires and have fresh pants. He’ll even hide his jacket from you on laundry day. How is he supposed to instill fear in the hearts of mortals when his jacket smells like FUCKING LAVENDER?

God help you if you try to make him bathe. The only way he’d concede is if you really went all out. Play to his ego, its the best way to get him to cooperate. After all, what man doesn’t want to be a king for a day. Especially one such as David. Once you finally, FINALLY get him in, then it's a fight to get him out. He’ll let off soft grunts when you massage shampoo through his scalp, leaning his head back with low, grumbling moans. Sometimes he’ll have you join him, even if you aren’t undressed. Yeah, he doesn’t care if you have your clothes on, time to get in. It's hotter when he sees your shirt tightly clinging to your bodice, although he'll huff that you had a bra underneath. If you try to peel off the soggy articles he won't let you. After all, if you got to strip him down, he gets to do the same to you. He'll take his time, and keep in mind the water isn't about to be clean for much longer.

Despite his protests, and he’d never admit it to the rest of the pack, but he really does love having someone caring for him. Being spoiled by his lover has some advantages, especially after a stressful day. Just laying back, having you rub his shoulders for a good minute, maybe suggesting he come over to your apartment and let you cook him a real meal for once. Sure you’ll be telling him how he needs to be more careful when he goes on hunts, but he can handle that much. You’re his precious doll, if it means a few lectures from you then he’ll put up with it. 

Dwayne

Dwayne is kind of the silent brother bear of the group so it’s a relief when he has someone who wants to take care of him. It makes him chuckle when you fret over him. Honey, he can fly, he’s not going to fall off the roof. Even if he did, it wouldn’t kill him! He’s lost count how many times you subtly, or not so subtly, toss around the subject of a helmet when he rides around. You’ll even try using persuasive ideas such as having it custom painted, maybe adding some spikes- anything just wear a stupid helmet! Again, he reminds you the threat of cracking his head open wasn’t exactly that daunting

When you’re on a cleaning spree he tends to stay out of your way. Granted he tried to help once, but you immediately shooed him out. You got it, just go sit down and quit futzing with stuff. On laundry day he’s a bit stubborn, but as long as you don’t wash his leather jacket, he’ll be fine. Seriously, do not touch his jacket. He cannot stress enough how bad it is to try and use water and soap to clean a leather jacket. NO. No touchy! So he’ll just sit in his underwear (personally I think it’d be boxer briefs) on the couch clinging to his jacket while you go off to the laundromat a few blocks over. Eventually you bought him lounge pajama pants for when you do laundry trips. At first he didn’t want to but… well they have a badass puma on them. It’d be rude to not wear it if you went through all that trouble to get that for him.

Unlike the other three, Dwayne doesn’t need much bribery to get in the tub. DO you have ANY IDEA the last time he had a god damn shower? He misses it, he doesn’t exactly like smelling like parfum de cul (kudos to any of you who know what that means ;) ). Oh just watch him sink into the tub as you massage his luxurious mess of dark hair, you swear sometimes he audibly purrs when you do. Its one of the few times Dwayne will let himself be completely vulnerable. He won’t necessarily force you to join him, but he would certainly love it you have your cute butt nestled between his legs where he could lather you up. But, I mean, that’s entirely up to you to refuse your ripped, completely naked boyfriend eyeing you up.

When he gets injured or sick, which you never expected that he could, you immediately go into hyperdrive. While he’d rather be out riding with the guys, he can’t help but love being pampered by his princess who always treats him like a king. You’ll shove him into Star’s old bed and demand he stay put, wiping his forehead down with a cold cloth. One would assume that someone with no body heat left would get a fever. Actually, it makes it worse. He won’t DIE from any illness, but it sure does suck when he gets them. Usually a few feedings will heal him up within a day, so you’ve started smuggling bags from blood drives and keeping them in a little cooler for him. Granted you only get him A or B blood, but he still appreciates all the effort you go to just for him. 

Paul

Paul loves it up until you make him do things he doesn’t want to. Typical guy. He DIED in a freaking bath tub, why the hell would you want to put him back in one?! It would take either a serious amount of strength or bribing to get him into one.

“It doesn't even have holy water Paul, just normal, plain, stupid water! You smell like a rat’s ass, will you please just get in?”

“I’d rather smell like ass!”

Yes, he may even try to bolt out of the room buck naked. Fuck you, try to catch him now! Did you hide his clothes?!

Your best bet is to play to his most vulnerable side: horny. Sure he refuses to get in the bath on his own, but add you naked covered in bubbles and it just became the best place to be. The blonde won’t even sulk when you’re sudsing up his hair because you’re too distracted to notice he’s about to cop a feel. He’ll just laugh like an idiot when you get mad, after all you put him in here in the first place. There will probably be tub sex, because dammit he deserves something for being such a good boy. Surprisingly he actually loves it when you use the hair dryer on him. It feels amazing, he doesn’t exactly get warm anymore so the sensation of heat rushing through freshly cleaned hair is just incredible

Paul is not a fan of laundry day, just like David. Again, you gotta chase him down. He’ll tease you the whole time though. 

“Babe if you wanted to just rip my clothes off me all you had to do was ask.”

You only leave him in his underwear because he doesn’t have anything else to change into. You never realized how much of a pain in the ass white pants were until you met him. Why the hell did he even have white pants in the first place? They show every damn stain! Paul will probably come with you to the laundromat. Its three in the morning, who cares if someone sees him in his boxers? Big deal! He’d even offer to go nude. You managed to find a pair of pajama pants and a band t-shirt he could wear on laundry day because this ass refuses to buy any other clothes. 

Paul thinks it’s absolutely adorable the way you dote on him. It’s a pain in the butt, but nothing is better than the tiny notes you leave for him when you go out. Or when you surprise the coven with a bunch of tupperware dishes full of real home cooked meals. Yeah being ragged on half the day is never fun but he knows that the only reason you do that is you care so much for him. You almost died when you thought he’d been killed, it was fair you got a bit over protective after. Besides, you were still his ride or die baby who did anything for him. Hell, last Valentine’s day you even went all around Santa Carla until you found someone who made him a mother fuckin Gene Simmons teddy bear, with the tongue out and everything. Paul loves you, nags and all

Marko

Probably one of the only boys to be a bit more cooperative when it comes to mothering him. After all, he’s the one being spoiled. It’s precious when you fret over him on a hunt out, warning him to avoid any hunters, fly safe, please don’t jump off any bridges. He’ll just hug you tight and assure you he’s gonna be fine. Yeah you’ll go one about how he should have a helmet when riding or raising concern when he tries something of questionable origin from the boardwalk vendors. But most of the time he just kind of tunes you out and smiles until you’re done.

He’s a sneaky boy, you oughta know that by now. You want him to take a bath? Only if you join him. You want to brush his hair out? Sure he’ll sit still… for ten kisses. Laundry day? Fine but he gets to come with. It’s hard not to laugh at him crouched up on the top of a dryer with his knees to his chest in only his underwear watching you throw in his pants and socks. He can’t help but grin when you throw him a side eye because of the stains all over his white shirt. Sheesh, him and Paul with the white clothes.  Again, please please PLEASE don’t wash his jacket. You will ruin it. He doesn’t care if you bombard it with air freshener until his sorry ass smells like Hawaiian Breeze, but do not ever wash it

It’s adorable the lengths you’ll go to for him. Last year when he told you they were just gonna have some hot wings and beers for Thanksgiving you flipped. Next thing they know you had them come over to your apartment as soon as the sun went down to a full spread. Paul actually ended up hugging you too. It looked like something out of a catalog. Two fatass turkeys filled to the brim with homemade stuffing, easily four pounds of mashed potatoes, gravy, bread rolls, the whole fucking thing! And veggies. Nasty. Sure the corn on the cob was bitchin, but asparagus? NO. Yeah you made Marko put some on his plate and half the time he just kept pushing his peas around until Paul flung one at him. Then it was a silent veggie war. After that they pretty much came over for any holiday. He’d be all over you just gushing over how happy he is that you went through so much hard work for him, for them. Even Max did fuckall besides what he had to, the guy wanted to toot his own horn about dad of the year but sucked ass at it. 

They start coming over so often that you bought black out curtains for every window in your house. Even during the day they could sleep in your guest room without fear of the sun. Well, the guys could. You had him tucked into your own room, still sleeping with his feet to the headboard for that upside down sense and his arms tightly pressed to his chest. He absolutely loves how much you care for him, especially after so many decades of being a filthy biker boy who feasted on the living. Even his vampirism didn’t send you away. You’d even keep a mini fridge in your room stocked with blood bags in case he craved a midday snack. Sometimes he’d awaken to you sleeping beside him and just savor those quiet moments with his baby. Maybe for Christmas this year he’d offer you the best gift he could think of. Who needs a wedding ring when you can offer an eternity with your angel instead? 

[bluezey]

Play Date

Ian dresses up and does girly things with his little sister Judy, but wants to keep it secret because he’s afraid of what would happen if someone found out.  So of course the inevitable happens when Judy invites a friend over for a play date.

I wanted to write a story about Ian dealing with Judy bringing a friend over for a play date, but I didn’t know how to end it.  I saw some stuff by @tepiski and I figured something out.  So, thanks!

EDIT:  a nice person informed me that I used the wrong wordings in some places, so I made a few corrections.  My apologies, like Ian, I’m still learning.

Barley skidded his van to a stop outside of New Mushroomton Elementary School, excited more than ever to pick up little Judy.  Judy has been telling Barley all week about her new friend she made at school, a faun named Saria.  After talking to Laurel and Colt, and convincing Saria’s parents, Barley and Judy got a play date set for that afternoon.  Shortly after the bell rang, Judy raced up to the van and hopped inside as soon as Barley opened the side door to the back.

“Where’s your friend?” Barley asked.

“She’s right behind you,” Judy replied.

Barley turned and looked down at a little faun girl.  The faun had the bottom half of a sheep, and short curly black hair to match her curly black wool.  She wore a sherbet orange hoodie and wire frame glasses.  She had a friendly smile, but looked a little shy.  “Judy?” she called out.

Judy waved.  “Right here, Saria!  I told you my brother’s van was cool!”

Saria perked up a bit when she realized she was at the right van.  “Oh, good. “  She then looked up at Barley, and kind of grew sheepish again when noticing the size of him.

Barley just smiled.  “Don’t be scared, milady,” he introduced himself in his boisterous acting tone.  “Tis I, Barley of Lightfoot, and my mighty steed, Guinevere the Second!”

Saria laughed as she climbed into the back of the van, with Barley’s help.  “You’re right, Judy, your brother is funny,” Saria commented, settling into the back of the van with her elftaur friend.

Barley chuckled as he closed the door and hopped into the driver’s seat.  The ride home was short, thanks in part to Barley’s partly reckless driving.  Barley asked a few questions to get to know Saria.  Her favorite color is orange, her favorite school subject is reading, she likes ice cream, flowers and, of course, Pretty Pretty Centaurs.  Barley was also sure to ask if they have homework, but decided they didn’t have to start on it right away since it’s the weekend. Besides, he didn’t like math either.

Guinevere the Second pulled into the driveway, and Judy hopped out the second Barley opened the side door.  Judy saw they parked right next to an old red sedan and immediately squealed with delight. “Ian’s home!” she cheered as she raced up to the front walk.

Saria looked up at Barley as she followed him up to the door.  “Who’s Ian?”

“Judy didn’t tell you?” Barley asked.  “Judy has another brother.”

“Oh,” Saria replied.  “Sorry, I forgot his name.”

Barley smiled, seeing Saria growing sheepish again.  “You’re gonna like Ian.”

Judy burst into the front door and immediately started looking for Ian.  The college elf Ian was sitting at the dining room table, going over his chemistry notes and textbook while sipping a fresh cup of coffee.  “Ian!” Judy slammed herself into a side hug, almost knocking Ian out of his chair as he made a mess over his notes with his highlighter.

“Oh!  Judy.”  Ian chuckled to himself as he stood up to fix his notes and some toppled pieces of Barley’s role playing game occupying the rest of the table.

“Are you home for the weekend?” Judy asked after letting go of her hug.

“Uh, yeah?” Ian replied, not sure how else to respond to that.  He’s here, and college is about an hour away.  It’s obvious he’s staying over for the weekend.  But Judy’s just a kid.

“Yo, Iandore!” Barley called out as he strolled into the dining room.

“Hey, Barley.”  Ian looked down at the little faun girl hiding a little behind Barley’s leg.  “And who’s this little girl?” he asked with a friendly smile.

“This is Saria,” Judy introduced.  “She’s my friend from school.  She’s here for a play date.”

“Is that so?” Ian saw the shyness of Saria, but noticed her trying to overcome it by stepping out from behind Barley.  Still, her face showed how unsure she was of this new person.  Being nice, Ian simply held out his hand.  “Hi, I’m Ian.”

Saria smiled, then took his hand with a gentle handshake.  “I’m Saria.”

“Good to meet you,” Ian replied.  “I like your name.”

Judy’s excited smile turned to a disappointed frown as she saw Ian sit back down and return to his studies.  “Oh. You don’t have time to play, do you?” she pouted.

“Judy,” Barley tried to warn her.

“No, it’s okay,” Ian replied, reaching for his coffee mug.  “Just give me a few minutes, I can take a break to play.”  Ian took a sip of coffee, now knowing he’s gonna need the caffeine for both a play date and a study session.

Judy leaped with joy. “Great!  Saria can meet Iandelle!”

Ian immediately spat out his coffee all over Barley’s board game.  Barley held out his arm, trying to stop much of the sprayed coffee and spit from getting on the figurines.

Saria looked curious. “Who’s Iandelle?”

“I, uh… uhh…” Ian quickly turned to stuttering and sweating before he finally gave up and quickly exited to his and Barley’s bedroom down the hall.

A short pause passed before Saria innocently pointed out, “Ian forgot his books.”

---

“Ian?” Barley opened the bedroom door just far enough so he could peer in, before stepping inside. He looked across the room at Ian sitting on his bed, his back facing towards Barley, hunched over and clinging to his sides so tightly it left folds in his Willowdale College hoodie.  Barley closed the door behind him and started making his way across the room.  “Ian?”

Ian looked over his shoulder.  “Oh, hey.” He turned back for a second, before looking back again.  “Where’s Judy and…?”

“Saria?” Barley asked.

“Yeah,” Ian replied.

“They’re playing in Judy’s room,” Barley replied, pointing upstairs.  Barley made his way to Ian’s bed and sat down beside him.  Ian scooted away a bit, he hunched back over, squeezed his sides, his leg shaking with stress and his skin pale and clammy.  Ian obviously knew why Barley was here, and it wasn’t making the situation any better.  Barley waited a minute, before finally breaking the tension with a, “Soo…”

“I can’t dress up like ‘Iandelle,’” Ian replied, defeated but firmly.

“Why not?” Barley asked. “You’ve dressed up plenty of times.”

“Just for Judy,” Ian stressed, standing up from the bed.  He turned to Barley, wide eyed in panic.  “I can’t do it for�� I mean… I…”

Barley just sat there, waiting for Ian to get it all out.  It’s not like Ian had a choice.  He was between his bed, with Barley sitting on it, and his closet, where he hides those few dresses that he wears when he plays with Judy so she can have someone to do ‘girly things’ with.  He felt trapped.  It was causing him to breathe shallowly before he finally released it, ranting to Barley.  “How am I going to deal with Saria when she goes home to her parents?  What if she tells of Judy’s big brother who likes to spend time in a dress?  That he likes to spend time with his little sister in lace and stockings, and playing with princess dolls, and having tea parties, and getting their hair and nails done?”

“You guys paint your nails?” Barley asked.

Ian paused, before nervously shoving his hands under his arms.  “N-No?”

Barley raised an eyebrow at Ian.

“I… I take it off before I go back to college, okay?”  Ian leaned back against the closet door and slid down to sitting, his knees bent and feet on the floor, so the legs of his jeans rode up and revealed some of the white stockings he was wearing under his jeans and sneakers.  “What if Saria’s parents start telling others about me?  What if those people tell those people?  What if word gets back to the school?  What if word gets back to college?”

“You haven’t met any transgender people at college?” Barley asked curiously.

“…. One.” Ian admitted. “I think.  I don’t know, but… there’s this one guy cyclops, and… I think he might- I mean he may have been assigned as female at birth… I may be wrong.  And maybe I am wrong, and he really is a guy.  I…”  Ian closed his eyes tight and grit his teeth, growing frustrated with this argument.

“… Okay.” Barley replied.

Ian opened his eyes.  “What?”

“Okay.”  Barley stood up from the bed.  “You made your point.”

Ian watched as Barley stood and walked back to the door.  He looked down, defeated and mad at himself.  “I know Judy loves playing with ‘Iandelle.’”

Barley looked over his shoulder, and gave a comforting smile.  “I know.”  With that, Barley walked out of the door, closing it behind him.

---

A week passed, and Ian was on his way home from college for the weekend.  He usually visited when he didn’t have much homework to do, and he had a lot of homework to do.  But he couldn’t help it.  He felt bad for how he ended it with Barley, with Judy.  And it was a bad first impression with Saria.  He didn’t know how he was going to handle it if Judy asked for Iandelle again, but he just had to go home.

Ian pulled into the driveway beside Guinevere the Second.  He took out his bookbag, his suitcase, and his laundry bag full of dirty clothes.  He went inside, but surprisingly, it was quiet in the house.  “Hello?” he called out.  No response.  He was curious, but he thought he’d get started on his homework while he had free time. Ian started a pot of coffee and let it brew as he put his suitcase and bookbag in his bedroom and tossed his load of laundry into the washer.  He returned to the kitchen and poured a cup of coffee for his studies.

As Ian made his way to the bedroom, he thought he heard laughter in the backyard.  It made him pause for a moment, then curious when he heard the laughter was two little girls and Barley.  He knew there was nothing unusual about that, but he thought he’d at least check in on them before he closed himself off in his bedroom.

Ian approached the sliding glass window and took a look outside.  Their backyard had an in ground pool, currently tarped over for the fall, a small playset complete with a slide and swing, and a big oak tree in the corner. Saria was climbing the tree, jostling the branches so more leaves could fall, and Judy was racing through the yard, laughing as her hooves kicked up the leaves as she ran through the small piles of them scattered around the yard.  Barley was chasing after Judy, trying to keep up with her newfound speed beginning to grow on her.  Judy was dressed in a Princess Kenna tunic, and Barley was dressed in his usual warrior outfit… and a brown skirt.  A skirt that was far too short for him, so he had to wear his cargo shorts underneath, but that’s clearly a brown miniskirt!

Ian couldn’t help but smile. Judy was having the time of her life, Saria was having fun, and Barley did look a little silly with his big body in such a tiny, wide skirt, but Barley looked like he didn’t care. Barley used all of his energy to catch up to Judy, tackle her and drag her into a pile of leaves with a big flurry of autumn colors flying into the air around them.  Ian gave a laugh before leaving the scene, going back to his room.

Hours passed with Ian secluded in his room, at his desk, between writing an essay and looking up collegiate sources online for said essay.  Just as he was two pages and a cup of coffee in, Ian’s focus was distracted a bit by laughter in the house, then again a half hour later as Barley entered the bedroom.

“See ya later, Saria! Goodbye, Mrs. Morrow!” Barley closed the door behind him as he saw Ian at his desk.  “Hey!  You’re home!”

“Yeah, and I’m kinda busy here,” he said, motioning to his computer, “so…”

“Oh, got it.”  Barley threw himself on his bed, picked a random Quests of Yore book off his nightstand and began reading.

Ian went back to work, but not before looking back at Barley, legs casually crossed while still in that miniskirt.  “You know, you didn’t have to do that.”

“I know,” Barley replied, not looking up from his book.

Ian shook his head with a smile before going back to work.

---

A few weeks passed, with Saria visiting the Lightfoot house three times for a play date.  Ian wasn’t home, but Barley was, and dressed in his mini skirt at least twice for the occasion.  Laurel came home early the second time, and shared a laugh with Barley when she realized what was happening.  After that, Barley began to dress up in his mini skirt just for Judy once in a while.

One Friday afternoon, Saria was dropped off at the Lightfoot house for a play date, and she and Judy waited at the brothers’ bedroom door for Barley to get dressed.  “Come on, Barley!” Judy pouted.

“Just a minute!” Barley shouted from the other side of the door.  A moment passed before Barley came out, in a bold display, donning his warrior garb and mini skirt.  The girls cheered, but Barley held out his hand to shush them.  “Ah ah ah, we have one more joining us…”  Barley stepped aside.

A hesitant moment passed before Ian stepped shyly out of their bedroom, wearing his white princess dress with pink lace and frills.  His head was lowered a bit, but a smile formed over his blushing blue face when Judy hugged him tight.  “Iandelle!”

Saria looked up at Ian in complete confusion.  “You’re Iandelle?”

“…. uh…. yes?” Ian muttered.

Saria smiled.  “I like your dress.”

“Uh, thanks,” Ian replied, a little more audibly, but still sheepish.

“Let’s play makeover!” Judy chimed.

Barley replied, “Uh, Saria’s mom says no makeup.  How about tea party?”

Saria gasped.  “With real cookies?”

“Mom?” Barley called out.

“Two cookies per tea party guest,” Laurel called back from the kitchen.

The girls jumped up and down and cheered, while the boys tried to calm them down.  “Okay, you girls go upstairs and set the table.  We’ll get the cookies,” Ian said.  The girls ran upstairs, squealing excitedly, as the boys in dresses made their way to the kitchen.

“Nice of you to join us, Princess Iandelle,” Barley told Ian.

Ian smiled to his brother. “Why thank you… Barlia.”

“That’s Lady Barlia,” Barley declared as he grabbed Ian and held him down for a noogie.

Ian struggled as he protested, “Watch the dress!”

[angst-fairygodmother]

Break My Heart Right: Worth the Wait (Luba x Reader)

A/N: I was going to do more friendship, but I’m a hopeless romantic, or something.  Word Count: 1853 Content Warning: Swearing, vague references to sex work,  Cross-posted to AO3 Taglist: @heroics-and-heartbreak (let me know if you want to be added)

Luba had asked for time, and you were willing to give it, though you weren’t actually sure what it was time for. You stopped going on dates, awful or otherwise, and were surprised to find that you didn’t miss them, much preferring the nights like tonight where you stopped for takeout to bring home to your and Luba’s apartment, quietly sharing a meal together after your workday was done and before his began.

“Y/N,” he said, greeting you warmly as the door swung shut behind you. “I am so glad you’re home.”

You narrowed your eyes in playful suspicion as he took the food from you and set it on the counter. 

“That sounds like you want something from me,” you accused, receiving an appalled gasp in response.

“I would never,” he pouted. “Although…”

You quirked an eyebrow in response to his pleading look, mossy eyes round and soft and threatening to melt you into a puddle right there on the living room floor.

“I know you just got home and you are probably exhausted buuut there’s a couple gentlemen coming in tonight who are the kind of important that got the whole place shut down exclusively for them.”

“The club or…?”

Luba shook his head. “And.”

You let out a low whistle. To have the kind of pull to get Rhonna to shut down both her businesses (“inherited” from Maksim) for a night took a lot of dough, or power. Your stomach twisted nervously, for Luba’s safety and everyone else involved’s.

“We’re supposed to pull out all the stops. So some of the girls and I were hoping...we could get a true artist to help us get ready?”

You sighed, knowing you couldn’t say no to him (or to the very large stack of cash you’d get from Rhonna for your work). 

“I’ll go grab my kit. You do something about dinner,” you conceded before dramatically blowing a kiss to the takeout, leaning back to keep it in your view as you headed for your room. “Farewell, sweet ramen. You would have been delicious.”

~

Arriving at Foreign Dreams, one of the bouncers stopped you at the door, a massive meaty hand bumping your chest as he held it out.

“Sorry, private party, no entry tonight,” he said, tone and expression indicating he didn’t care enough to actually be sorry.

Luba shot him a surprisingly venomous sneer. “They’re with me,” he snapped, “here in a professional capacity.”

To emphasize his point, you gently shook the small of the bags in your hand, brushes rattling together. The guard continued to stare, unmoved. Luba scoffed, tossing his whole head as he rolled his eyes, reaching back to grab your wrist and pull you past, with or without permission. 

“Y/N!” Nyssa, one of Luba’s newer coworkers, cried, rushing over to greet you. “Oh I am so glad you came! A couple of us had a pool over whether Luba could actually convince you to. Everyone’s going to be so glad, except Tanya and Kanwal since they lost the bet. Now we can really go all out! What are you doing standing out there?”

Under the weight of Luba’s irritation and Nyssa’s incessant babbling, the bouncer relented, allowing you to pass. You muttered a sarcastic thank you as you passed him. 

“Do you think you’ll have time to help all of us? There’s so much left to do. Most of us are in such an unfinished state, and Luba’s not even started!” Nyssa chattered on. 

At the sound of his name, the man in question pouted, wrapping his arms around your waist, pulling you close.

“Y/N is mine,” he said petulantly.

The words sent a shiver down your spine and you hoped neither of them noticed the way you flushed under the club’s icy blue lights.

“There’s plenty of me to go around,” you joked, trying to keep your voice light. “I’ll get you all dolled up in no time.”

“Oh I am so glad you said that!” Nyssa beamed, leading the way toward the back where everyone was getting ready. 

“‘So glad!’” Luba mocked softly in your ear, breath tickling you. 

You shook your head, silently laughing at him as you followed the girl in and looked for a good place to set up. 

Tanya greeted you with a hug. “Did you at least make him beg?” she joked. 

“Nah,” you replied, nudging her. “But only because I like all of you so much.”

You looked around the room, taking in everyone in varying degrees of undress and disarray.

“Alright, what have I got to work with?” you asked loudly, planting your hands on your hips as you called their attention.

~

You stood over Luba, carefully applying his signature silver-white eyelashes, one hair at a time. For all that the others liked to tease, his was actually the easiest look to perfect, and strangely soothing after rushing about for them all. 

“I meant what I said, you know,” he said, almost too casually. “Unless something’s changed?”

You swallowed heavily, thankful that endless practice let you keep your hands steady. 

“You know it hasn’t,” you answered, voice barely above a whisper. “But…”

“You’ve always been here, and I can’t imagine life without you,” he admitted softly. “I guess I just never thought about what that meant.”

“Is this really the best time to be talking about this?”

Your heart pounded rapidly as if it were trying to burst out of your chest and escape. But as much as you wanted to hear what he was saying, what it meant for you both, you didn’t want to do it while surrounded by people and trying to manage seven makeups, three body paints, and somehow more hairstyles than there were people in the room. Just as you placed his last lash, you caught sight of something that made your blood boil.

“Markus, I swear to god,” you called across the room, “if you scratch at your face and make me have to reapply those rhinestones again, I will break your fuckin’ fingers!”

The man in question dropped his hand to his side, whining that it was too itchy to resist.

“It shouldn’t itch at all,” you mused. “You might be having a reaction of some sort, I’ll be right over.”

You glanced apologetically at Luba and he made a shooing gesture with his hands. “We’ll talk later.”

~

You were packing up, finally done, alone in the back room, when arms wrapped around your middle. Instinctively, you jammed an elbow backward, feeling it strike followed by a pained groan. Whipping around, you found Luba, doubled over and clutching his stomach. You babbled out an apology, guiding him to sit as he struggled to regain his breath. 

“Are you alright?” you asked sheepishly.

“Oh sure,” he wheezed. “Just a little damage to my pride.”

“Good. That ego needed a little paring down.”

He pouted at you. You answered the expression with a smirk before growing serious again.

“What the hell were you thinking, sneaking up on me like that? You’re lucky all my needles were already packed or you might have lost an eye!” you snapped.

“I didn’t think you’d freak out. You don’t usually complain when I hug you.” 

“I usually also know you’re there. Or at least can pretty well guess from the fact that we’re at home, not in public where it could be anyone.”

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said apologetically. “This isn’t going well.”

Watching him reach up to run his hands through his hair and then freeze, not knowing what to do instead so that he didn’t mess up his look, you could feel the frustration radiating off him. You took his hands in your own, lacing your fingers together. 

“I’m guessing ‘this’ is the conversation you were trying to have with me earlier?” you asked, raising an eyebrow.

He looked at your hands, then back up at you. No matter how many times you had seen it, there was something disconcerting about his fathomless green eyes framed by those long, ethereal lashes.

“Y/N,” he breathed. “I haven’t been able to stop thinking about it since you said you…”

“Loved you?” you finished when he seemed unable to say it. 

The vulnerable, almost fearful look he gave you in response squeezed your heart. Gently, you removed one hand from his so that you could pull over a chair, sitting across from him with your knees bumping. 

“Luba,” you said, twisting your hands to stroke your thumb over his knuckles. “It’s alright. You don’t have to say anything you’re not ready for.”

“I...I want…” he growled, still so frustrated with himself, finally sighing. “I don’t know how to do this.”

“There isn’t a how, babe. Unfortunately. You just...say stuff, and hope it comes out right?” you grimaced. 

“I need you, Y/N,” he said after a long pause. “And I don’t know what that means, but it scares me. I can’t lose you.”

“I can’t promise that I’m never going to leave, or that things won’t ever change. But I’m here right now, and not planning to go anywhere. Is that...enough?”

He leaned forward, letting go of your hand to frame your face with his long, graceful fingers.

“Yes,” he murmured, moments before he pressed his lips to yours.

His mouth was soft, slightly sticky from the gloss he was wearing, and those long lashes tickled against your cheeks as his eyes fluttered shut. You weren’t sure which of you was melting more into the other’s touch as you wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him closer until he perched in your lap. He nipped at your lip, tugging it gently between his teeth and you cracked your jaw with a soft moan, opening up and allowing him to slip his tongue into your mouth to twine with yours. His actions had no technique to speak of, focused on emotion and connection rather than doing what was expected or “right”, even though you knew if he wanted to he could have made it a flawless one, and you thought you might explode. He slowly ran his fingers down your throat, across your collarbone, down your torso, exploring and raising a trail of fire where he passed.

All too soon for your liking, you were forced to separate as Rhonna called his name from the next room. He flushed prettily as he pulled back, staring down at you, the intensity in his eyes doing nothing to calm the heat at your core. You reached up, using the pad of your thumb to brush a smear of glitter and pinkish tint from the corner of his smirking mouth. 

“We’ll pick this up at home?” he asked in a tone that you would have called shy if you didn’t know him better.

“I can’t wait,” you answered, stealing another quick kiss before letting go so he could get to work, your heart soaring as he turned back to blow you another and wink before he disappeared through the beaded curtain that marked the boundary of the semi-private space.

[running-on-fanfiction]

Noah Centineo - House warming gift.

It was something that was suppose to be welcoming. Something that shows that you two were cared for. Yet, what happens when the gift itself was unwelcoming? 

“Hey babe! I got those paint samples for the bedroom.” Noah shouted, head down playing with the color tiles in hand. 

When he walked into the living room where you were, a grin was spread on his face. 

“I really thing this orange would look AMAZING in the bedroom.” He giggled, as he tossed the ugly color on the couch. “What are you doing?”

The look on his face was half amused and half ready to make fun of you. You were in the middle of trying to hind the doll size clown behind a pot full of plants.

“I love your mother, I really do, but why did she give us this thing!” You whined getting up off the floor and into your new husbands arms. 

Noah, chuckled as he wrapped his arms around you. He placed a long kiss to your forehead before looking over at the creepy doll. It looked old, with a creepy smile that was painting on dolls in the 50s. The clothes were dull dark colors that made you feel a little unease. It looked like something from a horror movie. Noah, himself wasn’t sure why his mother gave it to you two.

“We could always burn it.” He joked, pulling away to grab the doll. 

“Have you not seen a horror movie?!” You gasped. “Yes, let’s burn the creepy clown, and later tonight when we climb in bed, we’ll be visited by the none burn clown in the corner of the room. 

Noah, gave you a weird look, trying hard to not laugh. 

“Babe, I love you but I think you might need to lay off the horror movies.” 

You gave him a look before looking back at this tiring hard to think of what you were going to do with it. You love Noah’s mom, with time she felt more like your mom then Noah’s. However, this just made it more odd, that she gave you this clown as a gift. Her wedding gift was way better, and way less creepy.

Noah, grabbed the doll, then placed a kiss on your forehead. “I’ll be back.” 

“Where are you going?” You asked folding your arms, as you stared at your husband with wondering eyes. 

“To see mom. I’ll bring Mexican home for dinner.” He yelled, shooting you a cheeky wink. 

Noah, threw the doll in the trunk, before climbing into the car. There was no way he was driving with that thing next to him. 

Your-in-laws didn’t leave to far from your new home. In fact they were only about three blocks away. So, it didn’t take long for Noah to come back. 

It had been about half an hour since he left the house. Yet, the sunset was just about half way down. A smile was plaster on your husband’s face as he held the bags of food up, kicking the door closed with his foot. You noticed that he didn’t have the doll, which made your head spin with questions. 

You watched Noah, pull stuff out of the bag, and place them on the counter. He then turned to grab plates, forks, and whatever else he thought you needed. You were waiting for him to say what happened, but it didn’t seem like he was going to. 

“So?” You asked, popping a Jalapeno in your mouth. With his back still to you, he began to tell you what happened. 

“So basically she got it as a gift from my aunt who thought it was cute. Mom found it creepy and she wanted to see if maybe she was overreaction, since she’s not a fan of clowns. So s-”

“She gave it to us to see what we thought.” 

“Yup!” He laughed. 

“So, where is it now?” 

Noah, shrugged, smiling at you. “I dropped it off at some charity box for sick kids or something like that.” 

“Noah Centineo, giving sick kids nightmares. That’s really nice of you.” You sassed. 

“I know, I’m so cool.” He joked, throwing a bean at you. 

-Julianne

[red-and-blue-sewer-circus-arc]

Rufo the Clown: Audience pt. 2 (revised)

Warnings: voyeurism, possessive behavior, blood, gore, rough explicit smut

“Just like that. Keep facing the closet for me”

Was he fucking with him? Earl made it a point not to look at another mans junk but even he couldn’t help but stare when Rufo pulled his out. His dick was the same shade of white as his face and arms! Earl watched Rufo crawled on the bed behind Miss 504 like it was the most natural thing in the world and slap her on the ass. Rufo pulled her panties up between her cheeks and spanked her again. This time he hit her harder and she gave another little yelp of pain.

“You HAVE been waiting for me, haven't you?”

504 looked over her shoulder at him.

“Of course I have Rufo. Now please. I want you so bad.”

She pushed her ass back against him, her voice was thick with lust and Earl was surprised she wasn’t panting like a bitch in heat. Rufo chuckled. That stupid cocky grin was still planted on his face as he lined up and pulled her back on his cock.

“Careful what you wish for doll.”

Earl watched the expression on 504's face change. She bit her lip while Rufo pushed inside her and when he grabbed her by the hips and started thrusting, her mouth dropped open in a little o of pleasure. There had been a few nights where Earl had jacked off to the thought of her making that face for him.

“Rufo!”

Rufo reached down and grabbed a handful of her hair. He lifted her upper body off the bed until it was flush against his chest and wrapped his arms around her. He pulled and squeezed her tits while he kissed a trail down her neck to her shoulder.

“I love it when you say my name like that.”

Rufo stared down Earl’s hiding spot and sank his teeth into her shoulder. 504 grit her teeth, but when blood started to run past his red painted lips and drip down her breast, she screamed in pain. Rufo didn't stop thrusting as he bit down again and left another set of teeth marks on her body. This time it was his name she cried.

Earl shifted his position in the closet and cursed under his breath. It was barely audible to him, but he noticed the clowns body tense. Rufo pulled his bloody lips from her skin and frowned inside his clown smile. He bared his teeth in anger and slammed her face back down into the mattress, holding her down while he pounded into her.

“You know what I would do to you if I found out you were fucking around on me?!”

He moved his hand from her hip only long enough to slap her ass again before he resumed the harsh pace of his thrusts. 504 gripped the blankets so tight Earl could see her knuckles turn white.

“Only you Rufo… you’re the only one who gets to fuck me!”

That seemed to please the clown. His smirk returned and he changed the angle of his hip to move with her instead of against her. Soon she was moaning louder than Earl thought a quiet girl like her could. Rufo pulled her head up and gave Earl a good look at her face as she came. The manic clown behind her laughed and let her body drop to the bed. He grabbed his cock, now covered in her cream, and gave it a few hard jerks before thick streams of cum shot out and covered her back. Rufo groaned and leaned his head back to try and catch his breath while 504 rolled over and smiled up at him.

“Rufo, I'm going to have to shower again.”

Rufo looked down at her, a sadistic smile planted on his face as he tucked himself back into his slacks.

“Sorry Doll. You know I just can't resist performing in front of an audience.”

Earl barely had time to stand up straight as Rufo flew across the room and threw open the closet door. Earl came out swinging. He put every ounce of weight he had behind a punch meant to knock out the clown, but Rufo ducked at the last minute and grabbed him by the wrist. 504 screamed as Earl’s forward momentum was used against him and Rufo swung him against the wall. His considerable weight busted through the plaster, leaving an impressive hole. Earl felt the tendons in his wrist snap but the adrenaline coursing through his system did wonders for the pain. He tried to stand up and throw a punch with his one remaining arm, but Rufo was too fast for him. Earl didn’t know where the knife came from, he didn't even see it until he was pinned to the wall with the long blade wedged between the bones in his forearm. Earl opened his mouth to bellow his rage and hurt but slim fingers wrapped around his face with bruising force and cut off any noise he would have made. He tried to lunge forward in one last rush but he was held down with impossible strength. He should have been able to overpower the slim man, nobody was that strong, but Rufo held him still without even breaking a sweat.

Earl’s eyes went wide as he finally got a good look at the clown face. The pattern had been carved from his skin deep enough to stick a fingertip in. Earl could make out the twisted knots of scars hidden just underneath the colored patches of skin. Skin, not face paint.

Rufo stared at him with eyes that seemed to glow with insanity from deep in their sockets. When he spoke, his voice sounded like dry, dead leaves rustling in the wind. Heat radiated off his body and Earl gagged against the stench of death.

“Early Early Early. I thought we had an understanding.”

Rufo casually reached out and Earl thought he was going to brush his hair back from his sweaty forehead. Instead, he felt the hot finger of the clown push behind his eyeball and pop it out of the socket. Rufo gripped they eye and pulled until all of the connective tissue snapped and the organ came free. Earl screamed but the vice like grip on his mouth muffled the noise. Rufo glanced at the eye before he crushed it and tossed the gooey remains to the side.

“Now that the cats out of the bag so to speak, I'm going to ask you one more time. Have you been fucking our friend Earl here behind my back?”

Earl could see 504 with his one remaining watery eye. She had been watching the whole thing, one hand covered her mouth and the other arm held across her breasts like he hadn’t already seen everything she had and then some. He silently pleaded with her to do anything, say anything to save him. She moved her hand from her mouth and grabbed the little decorative pillow beside her. It was almost comical the way she threw the pillow at the clowns head. The look of surprise on the clowns face before he turned to glare at her was even better. Earl almost felt like laughing.

“Of course I haven’t! I didn’t even know he was in there! I wouldn’t have done that stuff with you if I knew. That creep saw... everything.”

Her face burned red with embarrassment and she looked away from both of them. So much for mercy.

“I believe you babydoll, but a man comes home from work and finds some rube in his closet he’s entitled to ask a few fucking questions.”

Rufo turned his attention back to Earl, the grip on his face tightened as he leaned closer.

“Your turn now Early. I’m going to let you go and you’re not going to scream. You’re going to explain to me just what you were doing in that closet and you better make it damn good.”

Rufo moved his hand and Earl stammered.

“I was...look pal. You don’t know what she's like when you’re gone. Parading her ass all around in those skimpy outfits. She’s been begging me for attention. If anyones to blame here, it's her.”

Earl ignored the look of indignation on her face as he wet his dry lips.

“Honest man. You gotta believe me.”

Rufo looked him up and down then reached into the pocket of his uniform and pulled out the sweat stained stolen panties. He waved them in front of Earl’s face.

“Final answer Early?”

Earl took a shaky breath and licked his lips again as hope died. In that moment he knew he wasn't going to make it out in one piece.

“Earl. It’s just Earl. They put the E on my uniform because Earl C is the groundskeeper.”

Rufo shrugged and reached into Earl’s mouth. His bloody fingers wrapped around his tounge and he pulled. The muscle stretched a lot further than Earl would have guessed before it tore free. Earl thrashed his head from side to side but couldn’t shake the clowns hold. Blood spurted out of his mouth and hit the clown in the face, but Rufo simply smiled and tossed the tongue down beside the remains of his eye.

“Unfortunately for you, Earl, I could hear your heavy breathing as soon as I walked through the front door. I wonder what you would have done to my girl if I hadn't shown up?”

Earl tried to scream when Rufo pulled the knife out of his arm, but only succeeded in choking on his own blood. Rufo grabbed him by the back of the neck and pulled him away from the wall.

“You're a bad man Earl, and bad men have to be punished. Oh, I almost forgot.”

Rufo chuckled and ripped Earl’s nametag from his uniform. He tossed it to the woman on the bed.

“Wouldn’t want to make identifying the body too easy for them. Pack your bags doll, I think it’s time we relocated.”

Rufo kept a tight grip on the back of Earl’s neck as he steered him towards the bedroom door. Earl only had a moment to wonder what was in store for him before Rufo changed course and flung him towards the large bay windows that covered the far wall of the bedroom. He let loose a gargled scream as his weight carried him through the windows and over the balcony in a crash of shattered glass. Earl fell five stories, head first, while the clown laughed. His last conscious effort was to put up his hands as the sidewalk rushed up to meet him.

[kurtzyoufunkylittledruggy]

Bad Habits: Part 4

Pairing: (Kurtz x OC) (Malachai x OC)

Word Count: 975+

Warnings: none (I think)

A/N: none

3rd person point of view

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

   As the days passed, Emma and Jughead got the official official news that the drive in would be closing. Emma helped her brother hand out flyers for closing night. Around school. Around town. Anywhere they could. Emma had given Kurtz and his friends flyers one of the nights they were there. Emma also slipped one to her new found friend, Ella. Ella and Emma had found comfort in one another. Both outcast at school who had more in common than they originally thought. They ate lunch together and when looking over their schedules, realized they shared many classes.

   The morning before the closing of the drive in Emma packed all her stuff up. Emma had been panicking all day. As Emma and Jughead walked into the projector room she finally asked.

   "Jug, what are we gonna do?" Emma asked softly. He hugged her tightly and sighed.

   "I'm gonna figure it out. Don't worry." He whispered. She nodded. She trusted him. She had to.

   As people started to roll in Emma went and met Ben at the concession stand. As things slowed for the night Emma sighed and leaned over the counter so she could watch the movie. Anything with James Dean was her favorite. She rested her chin in her palm and smiled longingly. A tap on the counter snapped Emma from her daze.

   "Sorry! W-What can I- Kurtz!" Emma said happily. Kurtz chuckled and nudged his fingers under her chin.

   "Hey doll. How much longer until you can take off?" He asked. Emma flushed and glanced back at Ben.

   "Go. It's fine." Ben said. Emma smiled and thanked him softly before taking off. Emma took his hand and they ran to his car. On the way there, Emma saw Ella from the corner of her eye. Emma spun and smiled.

   "Hey you!" Ella said, hugging Emma tightly. The girls giggled and smiled.

   "Hey, who are you here with?" Emma asked. Ella stumbled over her words.

   "My uh- boyfriend and some of his friends." Ella said. Emma nodded and smiled.

   "Alright, well. I'll let you get back to them. I'll see you at school." Emma said. Ella smiled and glanced at Kurtz. Both of them recognized each other from the business their respective gangs did with each other. Kurtz wrapped his arm around Emma's shoulder and pulled her into his side.

   "How do you know her?" He asked. She glanced up at him.

   "Oh. Just a friend from school." She said. He nodded and they climbed up into his truck with his friends. They greeted Emma and went back to the movie. Emma leaned into Kurtz, his arm wrapping around her shoulder. His fingers gently played with her hair, making her smile.

   As the credits rolled Emma sighed happily.

   "I love James Dean." She said softly. Kurtz smirked and twirled her hair around his finger.

   "Why doesn't that surprise me?" He teased. Emma scoffed.

   "Rude." She whispered sleepily, nuzzling into his side. He smiled and rested his head against hers.

   "Where are you staying after tonight, sunshine?" He asked. Emma lifted her head from his shoulder and shrugged.

   "I'm uh not really sure. My brother probably found a place for us." Emma said. He scanned her face and took her phone, typing his address into it.

   "Well, if something goes wrong here's my address. You can always crash at my place, I can drive you to school in the morning. I don't mind." He said. She smiled and hugged him tightly.

   "Thank you." She whispered. He squeezed her waist softly.

   "It's not a problem, sunshine." He said. She smiled and kissed his cheek softly. He chuckled and ran his hand down her back. For the first time he took note of her uniform. It was bright and very her. She looked ridiculously out of place with him and his friends.

   Once the credits stopped Kurtz took her hand and walked her back to the projector room. He gently took her chin and tilted her head up.

   "Hey, remember what I said." He whispered. She smiled and nodded.

   "I will. I'll see you later. Promise you'll still hang out with me now that the drive in is closed?" She asked. He chuckled and linked his pinky with hers.

   "Yeah. I promise, sunshine." He said. She smiled sweetly and hugged him quickly before going into the projector room.

   Jughead was up all night. Watching movie after movie while Emma tried to get some sleep before they had to leave at the crack of dawn.

   As the final piece of film was swallowed through the project, Jughead sighed. He got up, silently packing his things before he woke his sister.

   "Hey, it's time to go." He whispered. Her eyes fluttered open and she nodded. The siblings gathered their things and left the small building. Jughead tossed Emma a can of spray paint and she smirked. Both of them tagged the wall. Standing back and smiling. Jughead wrapped his arm around her neck and she wrapped her arms around his torso.

   "We'll be okay." He whispered against the top of her head. She nodded and hiked her bag onto her shoulder.

   "They'll tear that booth down, too. Raze the whole place. Send it to the junkyard. And us with it." Their dad said.

   "Yeah...Maybe they'll save it. All the pieces. Store it in the town hall attic, and rebuild it in a hundred years. Wonder who the hell we were." Jughead said, pulling Emma into his side. Their dad chuckled and looked between the two of his kids.

   "So where are you two gonna live now?" He asked.

   "We'll figure it out, dad." Jughead said. Emma smiled softly.

   "We always do." She said. And they left, Emma taking one last look at her dad as the roar of motorcycles filled the air.

~

~

~

[avengerofyourheart]

Leave This Town Pt 11 (Mechanic!Bucky AU)

Characters: reader, Bucky, Tony Stark, Steve (mentioned)

Summary: After leaving the small town life behind, you’ve worked hard to make your dreams come true. When something unexpected brings you home, you’re brought back to the place where everything changed. Timing is everything and now there just might be a second chance with the man you left behind.

Song Inspiration: Angela by The Lumineers

Warnings: Fluff, small cliffhanger? oops.

Word Count: 3.6k

Tags are at bottom (TAG LIST IS CLOSED I’M SORRY)

**This fic is for @bionic-buckyb ‘s 5K AU Writing Challenge**

A/N: Oof. This part was a bit of a struggle with a lot going on in my work and personal life. Thank you for your understanding when I needed to extend my usual posting deadline. I really hope you enjoy this part and I love any feedback you have to share! I love you all!!! <3

<<<Part 10   Part 11   Part 12>>> 

Leave This Town Masterlist

Full Masterlist

_____________________________________________________

Previously:

“Hi. You made it,” you said with a laugh, beaming.

“I did,” he said with a chuckle. “Made good time, too. Just couldn’t wait any longer to get to you,” he admitted, capturing your lips in another kiss.

Breaking apart, you finally took in the vehicle that had brought him here with a wide smile. “Is that what I think it is?”

He smirked then, turning towards the car but keeping an arm around your waist. “Yup. The Impala.”

__________

“It’s….it’s incredible. I can’t believe you finished it! I didn’t see it at the shop when I was there, though,” you inquired, still in disbelief that you were finally holding Bucky in your arms here in the City of Angels.

“Well,” he began with a quirked eyebrow, “It still wasn’t much to look at for a long time, but once I decided to come out here, I knew I wanted to arrive in style,” he grinned, squeezing you tighter to his side.

“And you’ve succeeded. You did all this yourself in 6 weeks?” you asked, reaching a hand out to caress the shiny black paint of the hood.

“No, not alone. And it took longer than that. I did finally have the time to work on it slowly once I had help, but I spent the past month showing Pete how to rebuild an engine and this was the perfect way to do that. I found a good parts dealer and once it was drivable, I took it to a place a few hours away and did the paint job myself. They only charged me for materials,” he declared proudly with a smile.

“It’s amazing. You’re amazing,” you stated, turning back toward him and raising a hand to thread your fingers in his chestnut strands. “I’ve missed you so much.”

His only response was to pull you close and capture your lips with his, pulling your body flush against his. You were lost in each other once again before you remembered your possible audience and reluctantly took a step back.

You cleared your throat with a smile and turned back toward the Impala. Leaning down to glance into the car’s black leather interior, your gaze lingered on the back seat that held so many memories. You straightened up then and grasped Bucky’s hand in yours. “We’ll have to take it for a ride. Later,” you said, wiggling your eyebrows, which made him laugh. His throaty chuckle was one of your favorite sounds in the world.

“Absolutely,” he replied with a grin. Bucky dropped your hand then, walking around and popping the trunk. He retrieved his duffle bag and, to your surprise, his guitar nestled in a hard black case. He noticed your reaction upon seeing the instrument and smirked. “You seemed to enjoy my last private performance,” he whispered and pecked a kiss to your lips.

You felt heat rise to your face at the memory and a familiar warmth in your belly began to flare. “I’m ready for an encore,” you answered coyly before leading him up the front step and into the house.

Bucky set his things in the living room and you gave him a short tour of the first floor, ending in the kitchen. Bucky offered to help finish the meal, but you assured him it was all under control. You told him he could take a seat at the table, but after sitting in the car for so many hours, he preferred to remain standing as he leaned against the counter and watched you. Feeling his eyes on you was plenty distracting, but he also happened to be wearing those jeans that hugged his thighs and backside perfectly along with a dark grey t-shirt that accentuated his muscular chest and arms.

A few finishing touches and you finally put all the food on the table with Bucky taking a seat across from you. He dove in, complimenting your cooking and grateful for a meal that didn’t come from a drive-thru. Not even fifteen minutes into dinner, though, you found that food was no longer your primary desire. Brushing your bare foot against his calf and then higher up past his knee, you noticed that Bucky had stopped eating and set down his fork.

You held his gaze and smirked at his reaction, stormy-grey eyes now merely a sliver with their color hidden by lust-blown pupils. He then quickly pushed his chair away from the table to stand as you did the same. Bucky tossed you over his shoulder, a squeal escaping your lips as he bounded up the stairs two at a time and easily found the bedroom down the hall.

Bouncing lightly as your back hit the mattress, you wasted no time to rid yourselves of restrictive clothing and grasped for one another, seeking skin against skin. Each touch felt brand new as you joined together, restoring what time and distance had separated over the torturous months apart.

Afterward as you settled into each others’ arms to rest, you inhaled deeply to calm your breathing. A hint of salty air touched your nose from the breeze slipping through the balcony door that was open a inch. Feeling whole once again with Bucky in your arms, you sighed contentedly and fell into a deep, blissful sleep.

________________

Brightness grew behind your lids bringing you slowly to consciousness before your lashes fluttered open. Gathering the sheet around you and glancing to the side, your foggy brain registered that Bucky was nowhere in sight. The sheets where he previously lay were cool and your brow furrowed in confusion until you took a deep breath and a delicious smell invaded your senses. Ripping the sheet free from the bed, you wrapped it around yourself and followed the scent downstairs to the kitchen.

Bucky stood at the stove wearing only a pair of sweatpants slung low on his hips, his sculpted torso bare and glorious. The smell of pancakes made you salivate almost as much as the delicious man before you.

“What’s all this?” you asked in a raspy voice, finally announcing your presence.

“Good morning,” Bucky replied as he turned your way with a smile. “You made dinner last night so I thought I’d return the favor. Had to rummage through cupboards for a bit, but I found everything.” He closed the distance between you with spatula in hand, pressing a fiery and passionate kiss upon your lips. His free hand wandered underneath the sheet, seeking the supple flesh underneath.

“Mmm,” you groaned against his mouth. “I’ll definitely need those carbs if we’re gonna go another round,” you smirked, shoving him playfully.

“If?”

“When,” you said with a wink, then settling in a chair at the table while you watched him putter around your kitchen. It was a sight you could definitely get used to.

“So besides carb-loading and ‘another round’, what else is happening today?” he asked, sliding a few pancakes onto a large plate.

“Well, I was thinking maybe we could hit the beach later and then take a drive up the coast. We could do some of the tourist-y stuff, if you want. Rodeo Drive, Grauman’s Chinese Theatre with the Hollywood Walk of Fame, hike up to the Hollywood sign…I’ve done most of that stuff but tend to avoid those areas now because of traffic,” you answered with a shrug.

“I’m okay with whatever, as long as it’s with you,” Bucky smiled, pecking another kiss on your lips before setting down the plate and a bottle of maple syrup on the table. “The beach and a drive sounds good to me. Although, I didn’t bring any swim trunks. In fact, I’m not sure I own any…”

You snorted. “I figured as much, so I bought a few for you. Pick the ones you like and I’ll return the others,” you said, spearing a few pancakes and putting them on your own plate before grabbing the syrup.

“Thanks, doll.”

“You’re welcome,” you answered through a mouthful of fluffy pancakes.

He chuckled at that, then digging into his own plate. “So how does the premiere thing work tomorrow?”

You held up a finger as you struggled to chew and swallow a large bite of pancake, then clearing your throat. “Mm. Well, I have a wardrobe team coming in the morning. They’ll have a few suits for you to try on and they can make any small alterations. I gave them rough sizing for you, but without measurements it’s more of a challenge. I’ve already picked out a dress, so it’s just jewelry and shoes I’ll need to choose. We’ll start getting ready in the late afternoon, but have a few hours to ourselves if there’s something you want to do,” you finished, stuffing another heavenly bite of pancake in your mouth.

Bucky nodded, dragging a forkful of pancake through the pool of syrup on his plate. “Sounds good.”

You were distracted then. A drop of syrup fell from a bite an inch from your mouth with the sticky substance hitting your bare skin and disappearing underneath the sheet that covered you. “Damn,” you muttered, reaching for a napkin. “Now I’m all sticky.”

Bucky watched you as you pulled the sheet lower and failed to clean the drip. “I can think of a better way to clean that off,” he responded in a low voice, dragging his tongue across his bottom lip.

You paused in movement and held his gaze, a smile stretching across your face as you shared the same thought. Pancakes forgotten, you leapt from the table with Bucky at your heels, barely pausing to grab the bottle of maple syrup. You squealed as he grabbed a handful of your sheet and you spun out of his grasp, running the last few steps without a stitch of clothing on as you headed for the bedroom.

______________

After your sticky, sensual adventures that late morning, you shared a shower and then got dressed for the beach. Bucky settled on a pair of dark blue board shorts that hit him just above the knee, but still thankfully accentuated his assets. You slipped on your swimsuit followed by a cover-up and grabbed towels, umbrella, sunscreen, a hat, and a few snacks before packing it all into the Impala.

The engine growled to life and you clapped your hands in glee, sliding in next to Bucky with his arm around you.

“It’s gorgeous, Bucky. Really. You did an amazing job restoring it,” you praised him, placing a hand on his thigh.

“Thank you,” he smiled gratefully with those laugh lines by his eyes making an appearance. You loved them even more when you knew you were the cause of them. “So where to?”

You directed him out of your neighborhood and onto the freeway heading toward a more secluded beach about ten minutes away that you had discovered a while back. Parking, you slipped off your sandals and linked your hand with Bucky’s as you strolled through the sand toward the water.

Dropping the towels and bags in the sand, you had set up a beach umbrella and laid down with your face in the shade while Bucky went into the water. It wasn’t long before a very wet Bucky shook his damp hair in your face and you jumped to your feet to retaliate. You spent the rest of the afternoon chasing each other in the waves and splashing one another until you were both exhausted and soaked. The pair of you settled back on the towels as you made out lazily on the sand with hands wandering occasionally.

Eventually, the snacks were gone and you were both starving, so you gathered everything and crawled back into the Impala. Bucky drove under your direction to a casual sandwich shop a few miles away. You ate outside, watching the sun slip below the ocean until the sky was painted with pinks and oranges.

Darkness began to fall as Bucky drove up the coast with you by his side. He pulled over into a secluded, scenic overlook and killed the engine. Far from the city, you were finally able to see the stars begin to twinkle in the velvety sky, so you and Bucky got out and sat on the car’s trunk, laying on the back window wrapped in each other’s arms. Bucky shared the constellations he knew and pointed out visible planets at this time of year. He always loved space and was in awe of astronauts who had been there, the true heroes of our time according to him.

A shiver ran through you as the breeze picked up and Bucky pulled you closer, rubbing a hand over the goose bumped flesh of your arm with his lips finding yours. The kiss progressed until you hopped off the car and Bucky was holding the rear door open for you, climbing onto the familiar back seat. A little less head room with an actual roof, but you managed to recreate that sweaty goodbye over two years ago that had inexplicably led to this moment.

Each goodbye since then, no matter how impermanent, you had learned to appreciate each moment you spent together. You didn’t want to waste one second, one touch, one word. Which possibly prompted your unexpected confession in the back of the ’67 Chevy under the stars.

“I love you, Bucky.”

Your words hung in the air a short moment and you raised your head off his chest where it had been resting to meet his eyes. Perhaps you had expected shock or disbelief, but you only found the same expression of love most likely mirrored on your own face.

“I love you, too, Y/N,” he admitted, grasping the back of your head gently to capture your lips in a kiss to seal those first words of love into that perfect moment.

_____________

The next morning, you were woken at 8am by a ring of the doorbell. Having neglected to set an alarm, you cringed at the sight of your morning hair and bags under your eyes in the mirror before rushing down the stairs, but at least it offered the miracle team a challenge. You let the team in and they brought garment bags, boxes full of shoes, and other accessories. They set up in the living room and you scampered back upstairs to gently wake Bucky, who was still sound asleep, with kisses and mild tickling. He grumbled and whined a bit, but eventually, you convinced him to lumber down the stairs and got him to try on some suits with the promise of some alone time soon.

You went into the kitchen and made some fruity kale smoothies for everyone, careful of any allergies or dietary issues. Presenting a glass of the frosty liquid to each person, you then tried on and selected a pair of shoes and jewelry for the premiere. The two tailors working on Bucky’s suit complained that they didn’t know your boyfriend’s shoulders were so wide or his thighs so thick, which just made you laugh as the long-haired brunet blushed at their comments.  

An hour and a half later, you waved goodbye to the wardrobe team and thanked them for being willing to work so last minute. Both yours and Bucky’s outfits were laid out on the couch, pressed and ready for you to change into in a few hours.

Upon asking Bucky if there’s anything he wanted to do in the meantime, he simply answered that he wanted to stay in and watch a movie, which was perfectly fine with you. Bucky whipped up a simple lunch and you ate in the TV room while the movie played. It was a perfect, quiet afternoon in anticipation of the craziness to come later that night.

You were roused once again by the doorbell, having drifted off some time during the movie. Crawling off the couch slothfully, you then pulled Bucky up by his hands and stretched.

“The cavalry is here. Time to make us pretty,” you teased, pecking a kiss on his lips before leading him downstairs by the hand.

Hair and makeup had arrived along with one member of the wardrobe team to help you both dress. The whole process took about two hours involving Spanx, double-stick tape, and a lot more primping than you cared to do on a regular basis. With your hair and makeup flawless and strapped into an expensive dress that hugged you just right, you hardly recognized yourself in the full-length mirror. On nights like these, you weren’t actually yourself, but more like someone playing a part. It was all for show but you got to be a real life princess for the evening.

Utterly distracted by your own transformation, you looked up in surprise to see Bucky fully dressed and looking devastatingly handsome. His long, chestnut strands were slicked back into a small bun with a small amount of stubble on his chiseled jaw. The slate grey suit tapered gracefully from his wide muscular shoulders down to his trim waist with a crisp white shirt and tie underneath. Pants with a clean pleat down each leg were tailored perfectly, causing you to let out a low whistle and rotate your hand with one finger out so he would give you a stunning 360 degree view.

“Not bad, huh? They tried to make me shave, but…”

“Good. I’d fight for that stubble, too,” you grinned, biting your lip as a wave of lust pulsed through you. “You look incredible, Mr. Barnes,” you said as you stepped toward him, ignoring the protests of the woman still hemming a section of your dress.

“God, you look gorgeous in that dress,” Bucky stated with love in his eyes, wrapping his arms around your waist and kissing you gently. “I can’t wait to rip it off you later,” he added with a lustful whisper.

“Hey, no ripping. It’s a rental,” you spoke sternly. “But I can’t wait to get my hands under that suit either,” you said with a wink and then stepping back into place to have your hem repaired.

Fifteen minutes later, you had fixed your lipstick a few times after being unable to stop kissing your hunky boyfriend, but you were officially ready. You grabbed your clutch purse with the essentials and slid into the back of the chauffeured car that Tony had sent. Bucky wanted to drive, but you told him that parking was just too insane. He laughed at the fact that you had to slouch in your seat and avoid bending at the waist to prevent wrinkles. You swatted at his arm with a chuckle of your own, or as much as you could in your tight dress.

Your driver took you to the back entrance as per instructions, but you could see the madness of the red carpet with cars and people wrapped around the block. You thanked the driver and he handed you a card with the number to call when you were ready to leave. Looping your arm in Bucky’s, you both took a deep breath and approached the door where a security guard asked for your name and checked IDs. He opened the door with a nod and you stepped into the venue with another man directing you down the hall and into a reception room.

Bucky’s eyes grew wide to see the high-ceilinged room with crystal chandeliers and gilded doorways. Theaters like this were built specifically for these kind of premieres with an area for cocktails and canapés beforehand. Guests were dressed in their finest, sparkling and shining in every shade of gown for women and handsome men in suits from every designer. You noticed Bucky had stiffened slightly with a clench of his jaw, nervous to be in such an unfamiliar setting.

You gave his arm a squeeze and drew his attention to you until he met your gaze. “Hey. It’s not as intimidating as it looks. Tonight is a celebration and it should be for fun. If it’s not, you tell me and we can go, okay?” you offered.

He focused on you alone and took a deep breath, allowing himself to smile again. “I’m okay. But thank you. I love you,” he said quietly, carefully pecking a kiss to your painted lips without smudging them.

“I love you, too. Thank you for this. For coming all this way and supporting me, you have no idea what it means to me,” you assured him with a smile.

“I wouldn’t miss it for the world,” he replied.

“There you are, Y/N,” a voice spoke loudly as you saw a familiar face approaching.

“Hi, Tony,” you replied as he pulled you in for a loose hug and a peck on the cheek.

“You look ravishing, Y/N. Vastly different from the usual ‘haggard writer’ look I see through Skype while you’re begging me for a deadline extension,” he teased, smirking with a wink behind a pair of tinted glasses.

You rolled your eyes slightly, “Yes, well, we can’t all look as perfect as you at all times, Tony.”

“Seriously, though, you look lovely. And this must be the handsome distraction and the reason why I couldn’t get my writer to focus for half the year,” Tony joked as he turned his attention to Bucky.

“He’s kidding, Bucky,” you assured him when you saw your boyfriend blanch at your agent’s words. “I can distract myself from writing all by myself. Tony Stark, this is Bucky Barnes. Bucky, this is my agent, Tony,” you said in introduction as the two men shook hands.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Stark,” he said respectfully.

“Please, just call me Tony. And it seems you were a means of inspiration as well, so I guess I’ll forgive you. I have to go schmooze some more, but just a heads up, Rogers at 12 o’clock,” Tony leaned in to whisper those last few words before he walked away with a nod.

Your eyes flew wide and within seconds, you discovered the man’s perfectly styled dirty-blond hair and a pair of bright blue eyes met yours from across the room. He smiled and raised a hand in greeting before making his way toward you.

“Is that Steve Rogers?” Bucky asked with a tone of admiration in his voice. “Looks like he’s headed this way. Are you two close friends?”

“Um…” you hesitated, watching Steve’s progress across the room as he continued to shake hands and greet people along the way. “About that. There’s something I should probably tell you…”

_______________

Part 12>>>  

________________________________________________________

Aaahh!!! I know, sorry about that cliffhanger but it had to be done! Still planning on just one more part to go and I do hope I can have it done for next Monday, but no guarantees. I’m actually headed on vacation for the whole week and while I hope I can do some writing, I’m not sure right now. I love each and every one of you and your love for this series! It’s become quite the monster to write but I’ve loved every minute of it. Any feedback is appreciated and thank you so much for reading. :) 

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[neganandblake]

I think I liked you better when you didn't have a knife in your hand, Peaches... Chapter 15 - Personal Space

When Blake finds herself sold out to the Saviours by her abusive fiancé, she realises that she's certainly not on her own anymore and finds an unlikely friend in Negan. And Negan does NOT like men who beat their girlfriends, one tiny bit…. 

Chapter 15 - Personal space

Blake had slept badly, tossing and turning all night…..unable to get David's words out of her head.

The names he had called her….there was obviously a reason for these. Maybe she was as useless as he suggested. And maybe she did look as shit as he accused her of looking.

Blake was blonde and tall, and as far as the male of the species went, she had never had any trouble finding guys. She had long legs and round hips and her breasts were average size.

She had of course, back in the 'real' world, always supplemented these things with tight jeans, high heels, push up bras.

She had loved make-up and was never seen out without at least two coats of mascara and some lip-gloss…but those days were now gone…

Perhaps she had let herself go slightly…perhaps she wasn't as pretty as she once was…perhaps David was right….the way Negan's wives went around with perfectly polished red-painted fingernails, short black dresses and high heels….they were of course more attractive than her…

But she had never realised just how bad she must look….if that was the kind of things what her own fiancé labelled her as being….

Blake had woken fairly early…just as the sun was coming up…

And being unable to drift off again she had dragged herself up and headed into the shower…spending about thirty minutes bathing under the cool water…cleaning every inch of her….cleansing herself of David's horrible words.

But every time she realised how much he hurt her…Blake felt guilty…so ashamed of herself for thinking these things.

He only criticised her because he loved her. Because he was trying to keep her safe.

That was the only reason…right?

Blake had hurried back to her room and gotten dressed in a fresh pair of indigo jeans, her brown boots and a pale blue blouse, which she tucked neatly into her pants.

She missed carrying a gun or knife and found, that as she slipped a large brown belt around her waist, it felt empty without the addition of a weapon.

She again pondered on Negan's wives….on whether any of them had needed to carry a gun….if all they did was lounge around painting their toenails and reading old magazines?

But she cursed herself.

These women were probably hurting as much as she was…as scared as she was…and whether they had ever carried a gun wasn't important…it was whether they now felt safe, that was.

It hadn't been long after that, that Blake, bored of her room had wandered the corridors, heading down towards the main dining area….hoping to once again catch a glimpse of David….try to reason with him….to apologise…

She had seen a couple of faces she recognised along the way down the winding hallways.…a couple of them men who usually surrounded Negan, carrying guns…before she found herself once again in the large communal dining room.

Blake stared up at the far end of the room, expecting to see the usual large pots full of food…but today it was just a single female Saviour stood behind a table, dishing out small bags of crackers and pieces of watermelon to the small line of people.

Blake not really being fussed with eating…her stomach still doing backflips at the thought of her run in with David….instead turned, making to head back out into the small courtyard she had ventured into yesterday.

But before she could do so, she heard a sharp whistle from across the far side of the room…drawing her attention immediately.

She turned her heard towards the sound….her eyes falling on the tall and imposing figure of Negan…just standing there…Dwight at his side…staring over at her…his face fixed and unreadable.

Blake gave a sudden gulp, her breath catching slightly and her heart dropping.

Fuck.

Did he know?

Had Eugene told him?

Her heart pounded, going a hundred miles an hour.

But the feeling only lasted for a brief moment, as a smile suddenly crept across Negan's long features as he began to stroll towards her, swinging his barbed-wire covered baseball bat from his hand as he went.

"Well hey there, hot stuff," growled Negan, his tongue poking out from between his line of straight white teeth. "Don' you look just finger-lickin' fuckin' good this mornin'?"

Blake pursed her lips, catching her breath slightly, and approached him too, crossing the room towards him , folding her arms across herself a little defensively.

Negan looked her up and down, sucking on his lip and arching his back, taking her in.

"That supposed to be some sort of compliment?" she swiped, shooting him a bemused frown and coming to stop just a foot or two away from the tall, dark-haired Saviour.

But that space between them was obviously far too much for Negan, who took an extra step towards her, until he was a mere breath away from Blake, gazing down into her eyes.

At his closeness, Blake felt her breath momentarily catch in her throat…but this was for a completely different reason than before.

From here, she could see every laughter line that littered his face….smell his musky scent…that seemed to make her heart race just that little bit faster…

But she tutted, shifting her gaze from his.

"You mind invading my personal space just a little bit more?" she muttered in a sarcastic tone, pressing her hand to his leather-clad chest suddenly and giving him a gentle shove away from her.

But that only seemed to excite Negan more.

The tall, intimidating man bounced on the balls of his feet, giving a happy chuckle, staring down at her through dark eyelashes.

"Well, my oh my, aren't you a snappy lil' thing today," he commented flashing her his set of white teeth. "Not a mornin' person, huh?"

Blake pursed her lips, shooting him a look, but didn't answer…even when Negan leaned into her once again.

"Don' worry, 'cause neither am I," he muttered in a husky tone. "Maybe someday we can do each other a favour and keep each other up all night, and then sleep all day instead….get over all this pent up crankiness we've obviously both been feelin'."

Blake narrowed her eyes at him, gazing up into his long face as he continued.

"Although I am not adverse to a bit of mornin' fun-time, if you catch my drift…"

He waggled his eyebrows at her, which only caused Blake to give him another sighing shove away from her.

"What do you want, Negan?" she murmured in a unimpressed voice, removing her hand from his taut chest.

But the tall dark-haired Saviour just chuckled once again, staring down at her.

Right now Blake felt like he was seeing right through to her soul. His dark, chocolate eyes full of something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

Negan shrugged his curved shoulders easily.

"I just wondered if you wanted to take a walk with me, Doll-face," he said eyeing her. "Unless you have anything better you think we could be doing?"

Yet again, he stared at her goadingly, leaning in towards her once more, but this time, he reached his hand up….brushing a loose strand of caramel hair back over Blake's shoulder neatly.

At this, Blake didn't flinch…but she did instead shoot the Saviour a dark scowl….which he, of course, instantly caught.

He backed up suddenly, grinning and raising his hands in defeat.

"Alright, alright, I get it, Peaches," he murmured, laughing. "Personal space, an' all that jazz."

Blake shook her head.

"We walking then or what?" she said, just a little snappily. Unamused by his irritating manner this morning, and giving him a gesturing nod.

Negan's lips curved up into another sudden grin.

"Well yes, Ma'am," he said with an admiring smirk before falling into step with her, leading her across the large room…Dwight following behind them meekly.

It was odd that in Negan's presence this morning, Blake found herself slightly relived to be with him. Despite how dangerous he was deemed to be, he had a way of making her feel oddly at ease….more than David did lately anyway.

A moment or two passed of comfortable silence, before Negan spoke again, leading her through a wide door and outside into a large, grey lot Blake hadn't been out in before.

The sky this morning was drizzly and grey, and Blake looked up, grimacing, as raindrop's fell down the back of her collar uncomfortably.

Out here were two or three trucks, currently being loaded up by several burly Saviours, barely any of whom did Blake recognise, bar Dwight, and the tall moustachioed man Simon.

"So a little birdy tells me you're good with a knife," said Negan after a second, suddenly stopping and turning to face Blake, lifting Lucille up and onto his shoulder casually.

Blake looked up at him, coming to a halt herself, and gazing around the lot.

"I'm here aren't I?" she said shaking her head and pursing her lips.

Blake would never consider herself 'good' with a knife, but she could handle herself as well as she needed to out there. And that was always important.

Negan ran his tongue over his white teeth for a moment before dragging his free hand down his long, bearded chin and letting out a faux-sigh.

"Well if I was to give you 'said'-knife," he muttered, his eyes lingering on her. "You gonna promise me you're not gonna slice me in two? Coz I don' think Lucille would appreciate that very much."

He readjusted his grip on his large and imposing baseball bat across his shoulder, raising his eyebrows intimidatingly.

But this only caused Blake to tilt her head, shooting him a frown. "Why would you give me a knife?" she said in a bemused tone, wrinkling her nose.

But Negan just smiled at her.

"Well how the fuck else are you gonna kill those dead fucks out on our run?" he said arching his back as he spoke, before shouting for Dwight, who immediately came running.

Blake stared up at this man….

He was so confusing to her….

"Run?" she said frowning.

Was he seriously letting her leave this place?

Negan held out his hand in Dwight's direction, and Blake could only watch, as the blonde man passed his leader a large knife in a brown-leather pouch.

"So, Doll-face" said Negan, turning back to her once again, his face looking slightly unreadable, his chocolate eyes locking with hers. "You think I can trust you?"

And with that, he held the knife out towards her.

Blake gave a sudden gulp, her gaze fixed on his.

Would she kill him?

Could she kill him?

She wasn't sure anymore…

Almost every instinct she had, told her to run…to get out of there….kill and Negan and get as far away as she could…

But there was one tiny part of her that didn't want to leave his side…not ever.

But Blake shook herself.

Could she kill him if the opportunity reared its head? She could try…for Rick…for Spencer….for Olivia, for Glen, and for Abraham…she would try….she had to try.

Blake slowly nodded, taking the blade from Negan's grasp.

Perhaps with Negan gone…all this would get easier….

Maybe she and David could leave…be together properly again….maybe they could go back to how it was long ago….before the hurtful comments and the bruises.

But she was torn as she stared up at the brown-eyed Saviour.

Did she actually want to kill him?

Negan finally pulled his dark-eyes away from hers and moved over to a nearby truck, just as two of his men (Dwight included) piled into the open back.

Negan pulled open the door to the cab and held it open.

"You're car-poolin' with me, Buttercup," he said lifting his chin and gesturing up towards the passenger's seat.

But Blake gave a bemused smirk, taking a step towards him.

Of course she would be riding shotgun to Negan. Why should have even doubted that for second? Even now with her ability to stab him at any second, the leader of the Saviours still had no fear…

And that, to her, was what made him what he was…..this indescribable, powerful man who had led his people so far to undeniable heights.

Blake chewed on her lip for the slightest of seconds before eyeing him carefully.

But Negan just gazed back at her lazily.

"You gonna make me wait all day, Doll?" he asked her cocking his head back in her direction smirking. "Don't make me ask twice..."

The smirk was a gesture which Blake soon returned, rolling her eyes, before hopping straight up into the cab, placing one foot on the high pedestal leading up there.

She almost for a second expected him to grab her ass as she slid by him, but he obviously refrained. Which she was, of course, grateful for.

But that didn't stop her from shooting him a look as she took a seat and he shut the door on her gently, giving her a chuckle in return and dragging his hand down over his long face, sighing to himself.

Balke placed her knife carefully down beside her and gazed about.

Inside the truck, the cab itself was old and shabby and smelled of stale cigarette smoke….but Blake had smelled worse in this brave, new world….and this only served as a reminder as the truck her uncle used to drive when Blake was just a kid…all tan interior with ripped leather seats. It almost made her smile.

It was no more than a minute later, that Negan joined her, hoping up into the driver's seat of the truck with long legged strides.

He flashed her another grin as Blake leant against the passenger window with her elbow, running her fingers through her caramel blonde hair looking back at him.

He was just so strange to her…so, so different from David….and yet why did Blake's stomach seem to do an automatic backflip every time he looked at her…..or made a smart comment….or in fact did anything in her vicinity.

But Blake chocked this down to nerves. Or course she was nervous of this guy who spent his entire life intimidating others by carrying around a baseball bat he used to bludgeon innocent people to death with.

"So where are we going?" she said, as Negan switched on the engine.

The truck manged to tick over twice before finally bursting into life.

The dark-haired Saviour patted the wheel and tossed Lucille down onto the seat in between them.

"A couple of my men found a store about thirty miles north of here, with what they think could contain a nice little haul. So I just thought we could go out and take a look," Negan uttered as he stepped on the gas slowly and drove the truck from the lot and over towards the now-open gate at the far end of the fence. "Stretch our legs a bit."

Blake worried at her lips with her teeth, looking over at him.

"So why invite me?" she said tilting her head slightly. "You wouldn't let me come with you yesterday."

But Negan just smiled. "Well today is a brand new day, Doll-face," he uttered in a husky tone

But that didn't reveal Negan's MO to Blake.

Why exactly had he changed his mind? She didn't doubt he had something up his sleeve.

She narrowed her eyes in his direction, thinking for a moment.

"So do you invite your wives on runs too?" she asked a little scathingly as they exited the looming back gates of The Sanctuary. "Or am I supposed to feel special?"

But Negan didn't looked back at her, he merely gave a hearty laugh, his eyes on the road ahead.

"You gettin' jealous, Peaches?" he said in a bemused tone. "Because like I said, there is always an open spot for you, if you've changed you mind."

But Blake scoffed, staring out of the window beside her, feeling her face suddenly reddening- for no apparent reason.

"Well, I have David…so…." she murmured in a forced tone, trailing off and giving another pained gulp.

And she was right. She did have David. He was everything to her.

But even so….after last night, it pained her to even utter his name.

"Oh that's right," Negan scoffed. "David, David, David..."

Blake paled suddenly, for Negan's tone had become almost cold at the mention of her fiancé.

She prayed that Eugene had kept his word.

"Well ol' Davey-boy might be your knight in shinin' fuckin' armour, Doll," he remarked, his long fingers sliding their way down the steering wheel as he turned the corner. "But don' think I haven't noticed you ain't wearing a pretty little engagement ring on your finger, as a fuckin' queen like you should be."

At this, Blake almost instantly gulped, her eyes moving down to her own hands suddenly.

It had been four long years since David had proposed to Blake.

He had gone to Blake's Mom to ask permission…and her Mom, unbeknownst to Balke had given him Blake's Grandma's ring to use, passed down from her ownMom long ago. And when he had got down on one knee at dinner in the nice part of town one raining night in April, Blake had been over the moon the moment she had clapped eyes on it. Recognising it instantly.

It had fitted her perfectly and Blake had never felt so utterly loved.

But times had been hard for David…and one day, not long after they had gotten engaged, David had offered to get the ring cleaned for Blake while she was at work…but when she had come home later that night, he had told her he had instead pawned the ring to get some cash for a bachelor party he needed to go to in Cancun…..

But of course, he had insisted he would get it back for her, he had promised….as soon as the cheque from his new sculptural piece came through he would buy it back from the pawn shop…no harm done.….

….but that day….that day never seemed to come…..with excuse after excuse later….

And by the time the world had gone to hell…Blake knew that the ring was probably long gone…

She gulped as she thought about it…her other hand reaching for her ring finger gently.

"I uh…I lost it," she lied…feeling hurt and defensive about the subject.

It was not something Blake liked to dwell over…and even now, she felt herself getting irritable at Negan's incessant nosiness.

"What about your wives, huh?" she said in a hurt tone. "You give all of them diamonds?"

But Negan didn't reply.

In fact, he didn't say another word for a good ten minutes, as the rain began to beat down onto the windscreen...heavy and unrelenting…

The sky had darkened and even through the rain, Blake could see black storm clouds forming overhead.

But after years out there…out in the open with little to no shelter…Blake didn't mind a bit of rain.

She remembered back to the times when she would complain to Laura, her colleague, about having to walk from the bus stop to

the office-building in the rain, in case her high heels got ruined.

Right now she would long for far-off worries such as that…and how silly and trivial they all now seemed.

Life was just not the same any more. She wasn't the same person.

None of them were.

"You enjoy your pizza last night?" asked Negan suddenly after ten long minutes had passed, breaking Blake from her thoughts.

Blake looked over at him, shaking herself, before staring down into her lap.

"Yeah…" she lied, brushing imaginary fluff from her pants. "…it was great."

She had, in fact, only managed a bite or two before David's outburst had sent the whole thing flying across the room and onto the wall and floor.

Blake had been forced to bin most of it, crying on the floor in heap, cleaning the wall as best as she could through her tears.

But Negan seemed satisfied enough with this answer.

But she had in fact never known him to be so quiet.

The silence however, was not an uncomfortable one….which relieved Blake immensely.

Although the silence did give her more time to dwell on David and what had happened…the painful thought alone, making her nervous.

"Well like I said," muttered Negan glancing her way for a slight second. "Whatever you want…you can have, buttercup. You're a queen. And royalty like you deserves whatever she wants…whenever she fuckin' wants it."

This monologue of Negan's, only served to make Blake gulp….and looked over at Negan sadly. Wishing she could tell him exactly what happened. Just wanting someone to talk to.

But Blake didn't get a chance, for with that, Negan leant across and pushed a small cassette into a black tape player in the centre of the truck's console, before Blake could utter a reply.

Suddenly an upbeat song started playing over the stereo. A happy tune that Blake had never heard before. With lyrics talking about an 'easy street'.

Negan turned up the volume, looking over at her and revealing his line of straight, white teeth in a smile.

"My favourite song," he commented with a wide grin, before turning back to the road.

Blake stared at him for a long moment…long after he had looked away, frowning…

….before finally, before she could stop herself letting out a small laugh….and shaking her head…..before finally turning back to the rainy track ahead of them…

…her fingers drumming along the beat of the song, against the leather-clad knife at her side...

........................................

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[fallen029]

Cleansing

Lisanna liked many things about Bickslow. So many that she even had a list. A few of those items included the following.

Number one: He was fun.

And he was. Completely and utterly. Most everything they did had some sort of a twinge to it that made it a game. They could just be going to the market to buy something and he'd turn it into a race or something.

He just loved those sorts of things. He lived for the here and now. Considering all she had been through, she tried hard to ascribe to that life as well.

Which brought her to her next point.

Number two: He was easygoing.

Literally nothing bothered him. Not really. Not the way she still wasn't completely over Natsu. Or that her siblings were completely overbearing. Then there was the fact that she herself was that way as well. It was her first relationship, after all, the one she was forging with him. So she was clingy in many ways and unsure of herself, of their relationship. It was all new to her. But he was patient and kind and…well…

Number three: He was fiercely protective.

Of his babies, of course. Not her. Err…well…maybe her. She wasn't too sure yet. A situation hadn't arisen where he'd need to prove himself on that front, but hey, she figured if one did pop up, he wouldn't fail to impress her.

Oh, that was the next one.

Number four: He always managed to awe her.

He just did. In battle, he was beyond stellar. He and his babies could manage anything. Now, she didn't put him up there with, like, Mirajane or anything. No, she put no one on her big sister's level. But he was pretty dang close.

But in other ways, he was just as humbling.

Like how even though he played hard with the Thunder Legion, he was actually really sweet. Not that he wasn't pretty dang malicious at time (his maniacal cackle was one of the fixtures of his personality that she could do without), because he was. But she'd seen him before, helping Asuka with her coloring or offering to walk Ever home from the guild when it was super late out and he didn't want her to be alone.

He was kind. And engaging. If not downright charming. You just had to dig a little deeper with him.

That was all.

All of those things and more went into why Lisanna liked being with the seith so. However, that didn't mean that he wasn't without his faults.

There was only one, though, that day that she was focused on.

"You cannot be serious. Bickslow-"

"I don't see what the problem is," he said as he peeked over at her from the couch, where he was painting one of his babies. She'd come over about an hour ago to hangout and, eventually, got up to go to the bathroom.

Only to find it in its usual state of disarray.

"I mean," he went on as he went back to painting Pappa's new body (he and Pippi had had an unfortunate run in. Literally.) "So what? There's some stains and old clothes and all around the sink it practically black. I mean, sheesh. Didn't know you were such a priss."

"Bickslow," she hissed, turning to glare at him. "We just cleaned this last time I was here. Which, by the way, was only a month ago. Remember? I bought you all those cleaning supplies?"

"Yes, Lisanna," he said, making a face. It had been torture. "I remember it well. But you're forgetting something."

"What?"

"I'm a man. And I need my space. I didn't want to girl up my bathroom just so you could take a piss. I mean, please."

She blinked. Then she headed over to the couch and flicked the back of his head.

"Hey!" he complained as all his captured souls took to snickering. "It's not funny, babies."

"It's really not," Lisanna agreed, glaring at him. "I mean, honestly, Bickslow? You can't even pick up your clothes a little?"

"I just told you, I don't want-"

"I'm not trying to…girl up your apartment," she complained. "I mean, if I was, for one, a lot more would be changing around here than just you wiping up the piss stains off the floor from when you're drunk and can't aim."

"I resent the drunk remark. How do you know that I just didn't wanna piss on the floor? Huh? Huh? Yeah, Lisanna. Think about that one."

"No, Bickslow," she responded, almost embittered at that point. "I don't want to think about it. At all. I just want you to stop doing it. You're a big boy. You-"

"Hey, kid." He stood then, still holding his paint brush and Pappa's prospected body in his hands. Turning to face her, he said, "I'm a man, alright? And this is my place. Not yours. So if you don't like it-"

"Then I'll leave," she finished for him, turning to walk away. "Let me get my shoes."

"Lissy," he complained. Sure, he was going to threaten her with it, but the idea of her actually walking out that day hadn't crossed his mind.

"Lissy," the dolls whined. They had waited all day to play with Lisanna. They didn't want her going nowhere!

"Just…fine," he groaned as she continued on the front door. "Let me fix up Pappa, huh? And then we can…clean."

Lisanna was annoyed with him then though, he could tell. Just like that, just from one exchange, his sweet, innocent Lissy had turned into the she-devil's little sister and, unfortunately for him, he was caught in her crosshairs.

"Fine," she said, turning to look back at him then. "But we're not just picking up the bathroom this time."

"H-Huh?"

"This whole place is disgusting, Bickslow."

"Disgusting is-"

"You have rotting plates of food in your bedroom, beer bottles littering around, and I know for a fact that the most of the clothes that are all over the floor you don't even wear anymore."

"So?"

"So," she went on as he only frowned. "We're going to give your apartment a good cleaning. A cleansing, if you will, of all the bad things you have in here."

"Like you want me to take laxatives or something?"

"What?"

"What?"

They just stared at one another for a moment before Lisanna shook her head.

"I want you to clean all of this stuff out of here, Bickslow," she told him then. "That's the only way I'm going to keep coming over here."

"Well…" He was defeated. "Me and the babies like you lots. And we definitely want you to keep coming over. But…"

"But what?" Her arms were over her chest then and her eyebrow was raised just so. "Bickslow?"

"Well… We kinda like the apartment like this. It's ours. Shouldn't we have a say in how it gets cleaned?"

"That's the problem, Bickslow. It's not," she told him. "It's not getting cleaned at all! You don't even feel the need to take out the trash hardly."

"Hey, in my defense, most off the trash never makes it in the can anyhow."

"Bickslow-"

"It's so boring though, Lissy," he complained to her before going to set Pappa's new body on the coffee table along with the brush, next to the paint bottles and his discarded sallet. "Cleaning is. And tedious. I mean, if I took the time out to clean, then I would lose hours that I could spend doing better stuff."

"If you just cleaned it all now," she told him, "and then continued to keep it clean, it wouldn't be that much. You just can't let it get to this state again. That's all. This? This is atrocious. And that bathroom is horrid."

"Don't use complex words on me, kid," he grumbled. "Because I can just as easily use them back on you."

Groaning then, Lisanna took a few steps over to him, reaching up to take his face in her hands.

"Just help me clean up this once," she said. "And then we can talk about figuring something else out, alright?"

He didn't wanna…but…Lisanna…

It took forever. She actually made him scrub out the sink and the toilet as she went around his apartment, tossing out old clothes and trash. She even tackled most of the dishes, but some were so gross she threw those away too.

And the babies, well, they were mostly just happy that there was so much activity going on in the apartment. It meant that they got to flying around, going from in the bathroom where Papa was complaining and off to see what Lissy was doing. She didn't seem too thrilled to be purging the apartment of all its junk either. Which Bickslow tried a few times to use to his advantage, asking her if they were both miserable, how about they just give up? Eh?

But no. Lisanna was inexorable when it came to his pleas for mercy. She made him do everything. She wanted the place spotless.

"Maybe, Bickslow," she'd say whenever he'd gripe, "you'll think of all the hard work that you had to put in today and try and keep the apartment a tad more tidy next time, hmmm?"

Bleh. She made him wanna vomit. In fact, the only reason he didn't was because he was sure that she'd only make him clean it right back up.

She was one tough cookie.

The day slowly ebbed into early evening and then into night. She literally killed his entire day. For what? A clean apartment? It was crazy!

He was busy vacuuming when she departed, calling out to him that she'd be back with dinner. He'd been so good, she declared, that she would go pick them up something. Half of his babies, the little traitors, went along with her. It was Pappa and Peppe, of course. They were such suck ups.

"Not us though," he spoke to his other dolls, Pippi, Poppo, and Puppu. "We're loyal to each other. Aren't we?"

It took Lisanna forever to return. In fact, they were finished vacuuming and had moved on to the next tasked she'd assigned them before departing, which was folding the clean clothes that she'd taken downstairs earlier to the laundry room of his apartment building to wash.

"Bickslow," he heard her call as she entered, using her key to get back in. He was starting to regret ever giving her that thing. "We're back."

"Papa!" His two dolls that had gone off with her came floating in to his bedroom, excited to be reunited. He only greeted them joyfully, figuring it not best to point out that they had willingly left him.

"Okay, so I have food," he heard Lisanna say from the other room. "And we can eat it in a minute, but I also have something even more important than that."

Intrigued, Bickslow headed out of the bedroom, babies following.

"More important than food, you say? I call bullshit."

He found her in the kitchen, a bag with some takeout boxes in them on the counter. What was in her hand though caught his attention.

"Candles? Candles are more important than food? Babe," he sighed with an air of disillusionment. "I think we've lost base somewhere-"

"They're not just candles, Bickslow," she said, carrying the candles over to him. There were two of them, one deep blue and the other a dark purple, both skinny and protracted, their wicks long as well. "They're special."

"Meaning?"

"I went out looking for some of that…sage stuff," she said as he took one of the candles in his hand, sniffing at it. "You know, so that we could really cleanse the place."

He blinked. Then he stared hard at her. "You really believe in that shit, babe?"

"Well, no, but…I mean, what could it hurt? We cleaned this place out. I thought that now we could get rid of some of the bad vibes around here."

"What bad vibes?"

She gave him look. "Just do this with me. Huh? It'll help you."

"How will this help me?"

"It just will," she said before reaching out to take the candle back from him and head over to the living room. "Get me a lighter. And hit the lights."

So they sat there in the darkness, her quickly going to set the candles down on the coffee table, in the center of it, before sitting on one side of it. With a sigh, Bickslow took to sitting on the other, his babies floating around in interest.

"So it here a chant or something?" he asked. "Or-"

"Shut up."

"What? Why is that such an odd question?"

She rolled her eyes before reaching a hand over the table, waiting for him to set the lighter in it. He only reached into the pocket of his jeans and pulled out his cigarettes.

"Bickslow-"

"If I got smell these nasty candles, I'm at least having a smoke."

"And that's another thing I'm getting you," she complained as he lit up before giving her the lighter. "An ash tray. Seriously, Bickslow, it's not cute that you leave cigarette butts in the sink and stuff. It's nasty."

"Meh."

"Either that or I'll make you stop smoking."

He gave her a look in the darkness. "You just think that you're in charge here, don't you, kid?"

"You tell me," she said as she gestured around at the clean apartment. The babies snickered as their papa only took to taking a deep drag.

"So anyhow," he grumbled then as Lisanna sat on her knees, catching the wick of the blue candle with her lighter.

"Anyhow," Lisanna agreed, glancing over at him. "This candle is supposed to represent…um…"

"Lisanna," he warned.

"Well, the woman selling them was talking so fast," she complained. "And she made it all sound so convincing and good."

"Great. So you blew money that could have gone to something great," he grumbled, blowing his smoke away from her. "Like a ping pong table."

"Where in this apartment would you possibly fit a-"

"I would get rid of the bed, Lisanna," he grumbled. "And put it there. And we could sleep in sleeping bags."

She blinked. Then she shook her head. "You're beyond saving."

"I never asked to be saved in the first place!"

"Okay, okay," she complained then as the scent of the candle hit her. It was actually rather stinky. "Let's just take a breath. And let the bad feelings out."

"I'm not-"

"That's it. Let it all out."

That time he blew his smoke straight at her. "The only bad spirit here right now is you."

"Bickslow."

"Papa," the babies complained. He only looked off though.

"You're changin' everything," he grumbled. "And now your candle's all smelly. I don't like it."

"I'm trying to make you better, Bickslow," she told him. "I'm doing all of this for you. Don't you like this? You have to. I mean, we're sitting on the freshly vacuumed carpet and there's no trash scattered around and we don't have to worry about sitting on a broke beer bottle or something. There's no way that you don't."

"Well…fine. I'll stop just tossing beer bottles around all willy-nilly, but-"

"And yeah, this candle does stink, fine, but doesn't this place smell better than it did before? You have to admit that it does."

"I don't have to admit nothin'."

"Bickslow."

"You're just… You change everything! Constantly."

"I do not. I-"

"You went and got rid of my old microwave last month, without askin'."

"And I got you a new one. You-"

"You keep deciding for me when to do everything. When I need to throw out old boxers, when I should change toothbrushes, when to-"

"I'm just trying to take care of you. I-"

"Well, knock it off! You're fucking smothering me," he grumbled. "And if I didn't love you so much, I wouldn't put up with it."

Lisanna stared at him then, there in the darkness, over the flame of that stupid candle before saying, "Fine, Bickslow."

"Lisanna-"

"So what, Bickslow? I'm a bad person for caring about you? For wanting you to take care of yourself?"

"I-"

"Then I won't anymore. Live in a pigsty. Wear boxers with holes in them. And keep using the same damn toothbrush after it fell in the toilet, which, by the way, is why I made you get a new one." She got to her feet. "But I'm not going to sit here and let you make me look like the bad guy for caring about you. If that makes me a bad girlfriend, fine. I'm a bad girlfriend. Sorry I gave a damn."

Growling, he jumped up then, shifting his smoke to his right hand before saying, "Did you not just hear me, kid? I said that I fucking love you, alright? Do you not get that? I just… Sometimes you treat me like I'm the kid or something. And I'm not. You can't just-"

"I wouldn't have to treat you like one, Bickslow, if you didn't acted like one. I mean, gosh, how many times have I had to go down there and smooth things out with your landlord because you forgot to pay the rent for, oh, two months?"

"I was fine before you, Lisanna, and-"

"Because Evergreen and Freed were constantly looking out for you. Well guess what? Even they're tired of it. But I'm trying to take their place. And you can hate me for it, Bickslow, but-"

"How many times do I have to say it, kid? I fucking love you, alright? So stop trying to play like I'm the one in the wrong here."

"You are, Bickslow. You-"

"I'm happy, Lisanna, that you wanna help me out with shit. But-"

"There is no but," she told him. "There just is. You blow things off. Everything's a joke to you. And because of that, you don't get business done. You go on jobs, rake in jewels, and then just blow them on stupid things."

"Stupid? Name me one stupid thing in this apartment."

She blinked. "Bickslow, you have, like, five broken movie lacrima's laying around."

"Yeah, Lisanna, because I got them on the cheap and am gonna flip 'em."

"Do you now how to repair a lacrima?"

"W-Well-"

"You have three foot statue of a dragon in the bedroom. What the hell is that for?"

"Ambiance!"

She turned from him that time. "I'm done. Have fun mucking up your clean apartment again. I'll see you at the guildhall tomorrow. Because I am so done coming here to hangout."

"Papa," the babies whined at him. He was driving Lisanna out and that was not okay. "Papa!"

More growling. Then, "What…What do you want me to do? You want me to like everything that you do? Because I don't. I-"

"I want you to grow up, Bickslow."

"I am grown. You don't know what the hell it even means to be grown, over there living with your brother and sister. You just play adult. I am a damn adult."

She didn't even turn around. Just went into the kitchen to get her half of the food in there. "Okay. That's great. Have fun, Mr. Adult, all alone."

"You're not being fair."

"That's fine. I'm not fair. Okay. See you tomorrow-"

"Fine! Fucking fine!" He had a back up lighter, just for such occasions, and pulled it form his pocket as well. Lighting the other candle he said, "Be gone, whatever the hell we're trying to run out!"

"Bickslow," she hissed as she came back into the living room. "I told you that there was no chanting."

"I can chant if I wanna! It's my apartment. I'll bless it however I wanna bless it."

"You-"

"Lisanna!" His babies launched themselves at her then, crashing against her.

"Hey," she complained. "Stop-"

"Don't go," they whined. "Lissy."

"I-"

"I'mma go get your sister," Bickslow said then. "Maybe she'll know how to summon a demon."

"Summon a- Bickslow, that's not what we're doing!"

"Well, we have to have one here before we can force it out, don't we?"

"Are you joking?"

"I don't know, kid," he groaned as he only went to crash down on the couch. And he hated it so much because even though he was upset with the whole situation, he had to admit, it was nice to sit on the couch without worrying about sitting on anything or it reeking of old clothes. "I mean, what's involved in summoning a demon anyhow? Satanic stuff? 'cause I'm really not in the mood for that today."

It took a moment, but slowly, Lisanna went to sit down on the couch with him, there in the darkness, each staring at the burning candles on the table.

"I guess," Lisanna said slowly as she handed him the food to let him peek inside the box to check what she'd gotten. "That we both make some stupid decisions."

"No," he sighed. "Your candles are… Nah, you're right. They smell like shit and I don't feel like any of my negative feelings dissipating."

Lisanna sighed as the babies came over to the couch to join them. "I just thought that it'd be cute. Kinda like… I dunno. Never mind."

He took a puff on his smoke before glancing down at her. "It was cute, kid. Real cute. I… I mean, hey, think of this. How do negative things go away?"

"Bickslow, shut up. It was stupid and-"

"You gotta get 'em out somehow," he said before elbowing her gently. "And we got 'em all out now, didn't we?"

"I don't-"

"Of course we did," he said. "We got every last one of 'em out and now we're fine. I mean, I'm not even upset anymore. Are you?"

"No," she whispered.

"Me neither." But he was. A little. Annoyed at least. But…if it made Lisanna feel better… "So see? Your little candles were great! Smelly, but great."

She leaned against him then, resting her head against his arm. "Do you really hate that I made you clean up?"

"I don't…like it, no, but I do have to say that it looks better in here."

"I'm gonna buy you a hamper, see? And you can put your dirty clothes in it. Then-" She stopped herself before sighing. "Never mind."

"What?"

"I forgot."

"Forgot what?"

"That you don't like it when I try and make you do things."

He blew smoke out slowly then. "We got pretty fucked tonight, kid. We were supposed to go out, remember? Then Pappa had to get a new body and you looked in the bathroom and…"

"And tomorrow you're training and then the day after you're leaving for a job," she finished for him. "So I just ruined our day together. Great."

"That's not what I meant. You didn't do nothing. You… You're right, Lisanna," he said then. "I act like a little punk most the time about shit. And Freed and Ever are tired of cleaning up my shit. You know, Freed and I, when we first moved out of the guys dormitory, we lived together."

"Really?" She frowned, glancing up at him. "I didn't know that."

"Oh, it didn't last that long," he said before taking another drag. "Not at all. He's real…anal about shit."

"Bickslow." Lisanna sent him a look. "That's rude."

"No," he grumbled. "I don't mean… He's organized. You know? And I'm…not. And he used to get so mad about the stupidest stuff. Like me leaving my shit everywhere. It'd make him crazy! We got into to a lot of arguments about it. Ever used to have to break us up until finally…I had to move out. Me and the babies. Went back to the dormitory for awhile before we found this place. It's small, so I figured I'd be able to keep it somewhat clean but… I guess I'm not real motivated, you know? To pick up? Ever don't come over because of it, but who needs her? And whenever Freed and I hangout, it has to be at his place, but that's fine. He always has tons of food and beer and shit. Not that I'm allowed to drink or eat much. He keeps it for Laxus."

He snickered then, but it was soft. Sad.

"But see? They love me, huh? Freed and Evergreen, they do. But even they get tired of me. I'm real immature, aren't I?"

"N-No, you just-"

"Don't lie to me, Lissy. I know that I am."

"Well…I am too."

"Completely."

"Bickslow," she complained.

"We both are," he said with a sigh. "Maybe that's how come we're so good for one another, huh? You're mature in ways that I'm not, and I am in ways that you can't be."

"What do you mean?"

"You, like, know how to keep things in order. When bills need to be paid, how to budget money. You give me that. And I know what it's like to live alone. To not have my brother and sister breathing down my neck the whole time. I know what it's like to not have someone there for me. I know what it's like to have to grow up real fast, all alone. So maybe…maybe we complete each other."

She blinked. Then she giggled and nuzzled up against him. "You're so corny. You can't even help it, can you?"

Another puff. Then, with a sigh, he said, "I…I'll try harder. For you. For me. At keeping this place clean. And myself in check. And if you buy me a hamper…I'll use it. Really. I-"

"No, you won't," she sighed. "You'll throw clothes all around it, but I'll be shocked if more than two articles make it in there."

"Well, I'll try at least," he told her.

"He'll try," the babies pleaded with her. They really didn't want her going nowhere. "Lissy."

"I know," she told the babies with a giggle. "And I will too. To not…smother you so much."

He nodded then before saying, "You should go get some forks. For our dinner."

As she stood, his babies followed. And when she returned to him, she had two beers as well.

"We're really something, ain't we, kid?"

"I don't think there's anyone else that would take us."

"Good," he said as she sat down next to him once more. "Don't want no one else to want you. You're mine. And I'm sorry that sometimes I make you feel like you're not."

Lisanna only glanced up at him before smiling slightly. "Well, we do have one thing right. I mean, even Mira doesn't get a candlelight dinner that often."

He snickered again, but that time, it was real. And it was just for her.

"Yeah, well, next time let's bypass these things and get some normal candles, huh?" he laughed. "What? I gotta go with you now to the market? Make sure that you don't get swindled?"

"Shuddup," she told him as he only cackled, the babies reading their tones then as good ones and giggling as well. "Me, Pappa, and Peppe were just trying to help out. That's all."

"And what is this then anyhow?" he continued. "Them going places without me?"

"Maybe they just love me."

"Oh, no, there's no maybe. They do love you," he agreed, the laughter stopping as he glanced down at her again. "They love you lots."

"I love them lots."

"And they don't ever want you to feel unwelcome here again," he continued. "So… We'll clean up from now on."

"Thank you," she whispered, smiling. "I'll help too."

He took another puff of his cigarette. "So when are you getting me this ashtray?"

"Soon," she assured him. Making a face, she said, "I can't believe you don't have one."

"I ain't got a lot of things, kid."

"Except for a statue of a dragon."

"For ambiance!"

It was her turn to giggle and his to smile.

Oh! That was another thing she wanted to add on.

Number five: No matter what, no matter what sort of fight they'd just gone through, he could always make her laugh. Always.

And at the end of the day, that made all the strikes against him irrelevant.

[statusreview]

A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse)

I was surprised how many questions I got about the little dollhouse sneak peeks I’ve shared on IG stories over the last few weeks as I fixed this up with the kids. And then I polled you guys to see if you wanted a post about it, and 91% of you voted yes, so here it is!

You can read more about how these came to be on this podcast from a few weeks back, but the gist is that the kids really wanted super detailed dollhouses to fix up, and we got two of them secondhand on Facebook marketplace to “renovate” together.

This little makeover was lots of fun for us all, since the kids were at the wheel picking all the colors and helping me paint and glue and arrange stuff, and although this technically lives in our son’s room, both kids definitely had a hand in making it over (we have another one that lives in our daughter’s room that we’re also working on together – which you can see below on the left of the photo). The lesson: even tiny houses take a village to fix up.

The quick pic I snapped below shows what this one looked like when we got it (I barely remembered to snap the before photo, hence that dash of white paint on the facade since we had already started painting).

Our son was adamant that he wanted it to be white with light blue shutters and gold trim along the peak (this is the gold I used – be sure to shake this thoroughly for the best coverage). The kid knew what he wanted and was unwavering. Ha! So his vision came to fruition thanks to a whole lot of painting.

We just used simple craft paint from Michael’s and we all pitched in (we had the entire interior and exterior to do). The kids could easily do things like the floor, walls, and exterior house color and I helped with the more detailed jobs, like the trim (I just used a small craft brush). Also we made up a song as we went, which went a little something like this: “Ahh, don’t get paint on the roof! Go slow! Whew! We can do this! Ahhhh, avoid the roof!” Catchy, eh? If you’re super worried you can cover it with plastic and tape it off, but our song seemed to work for the most part.

Oh and that decorative trim around the peak came with the dollhouse, it just broke off and I re-glued it back on with wood glue (this glue works great – I just taped them in place while they dried so I didn’t have to stand there holding them for an hour).

I loved getting to reuse some things we’ve had for ages (way back from our daughter’s first dollhouse), like those topiaries that you see on the front porch. The funny thing is that I found those in the wedding aisle at Michael’s 6 years ago, and they’re actually meant to be place cards (there’s a small wire loop at the top to stick name cards in). Cute miniature things are EVERYWHERE if you look close enough.

As for the “greenery” in the window boxes above, I just bought this small faux plant “mat” from Michael’s (don’t forget your 50% off coupons – they saved me so much money when I was grabbing the acrylic paint, craft glue, and the little faux green mat).

Here’s a Burger-for-scale shot for ya. He was VERY INTO trying to help, but sadly dogs can’t paint very well. Oh and we have since fixed the steps, so I’ll have to share a little update video on Instagram stories about how we did it. Super simple – you just slice thin craft wood (like this) with an exacto knife to make the steps, glue them into place with wood glue, and paint them to match. Truly so easy! Like 10,000% easier than building a human-sized staircase ;)

This is where this dollhouse lives, right in the corner of our son’s room. For those who listened to the podcast about “Operation Acquire Two Dollhouses”, you may remember that I thought this was a much smaller dollhouse (like shoebox sized) and was shocked when it was almost as big as his extra high dresser – and then we picked up the one for our daughter… and… well… it was massive. Ha! But they LOVE them, so I guess it all worked out. Even if dollhouses now make up 8% of our actual house’s contents now.

As for how we fixed things up inside, this is what we started with. All the furniture in each house was collected over two bulk purchases on Facebook Marketplace (we spent around $30 total for enough furniture to fill TWO houses!). This before shot of the back of the house and the furniture isn’t completely congruent with the next after shot since I took this photo on Christmas Eve, and then the kids came down on Christmas morning and had all sorts of furniture swaps and rearranging parties.

But you get the general gist that the floors were wood, the walls were sort of a cream-white color and a lot of the furniture was wood, deep red, green and cream, etc. Once again our tiny homeowner knew exactly what he wanted for the inside: white walls and light blue floors – just like the shutters and trim (this is the exact blue color we used by the way).

We all got to work painting those (again, just with craft paint from Michael’s) and once the floor & walls were dry we had some fun painting the beds gold, adding a pink top to the table and two of the chairs – whatever the kids wanted – we did! And the funny thing is that they both said the sink and the fridge had to be pink like the stove at the pink house! You know I didn’t argue with that ;)

The little pillows were things our daughter already had from a small doll she had gotten ages ago, and even the “bedding” on the two beds were cloth bags I had saved in our gift wrapping closet (one is from Kendra Scott jewelry and it’s the perfect “sleeping bag” size and the other is a plain blue cloth bag that something else came in).

There were a few special purchases that we made with the kids. They had an Amazon gift card and some Christmas money to spend, so after a loooooooong deliberation they decided that two plates of pancakes (you can see those on the right of the photo above) and a little gingerbread making kit (seen below) were the best things to buy, along with this set of pots & pans (you can see them in the photo above on the fridge). They’ve never been so excited to check the mail every day until they arrived.

Oh and that little candlestick has real wax candles! It came with one of the sets of old dollhouse furniture we bought secondhand – and you might remember those round wire chairs from our daughter’s first dollhouse too (originally they were little decorative chairs meant as shelf decor from West Elm years ago).

You know it super bugs me that I took all these photos like a day before I fixed those stairs, right? #TypeA

Along with DIYing the greenery in the window boxes, I also made a few house plants from scratch. It was really simple and fun, I just took small clippings from the same faux green mat thing I bought for the window boxes, and I glued them into various small things that look like pots. One was a wood bead (see that one on the top of the toilet in the picture below?) and one was a small white flowerpot I found at the craft store.

I also used a clear bead + a brown flat button to make the little plant you see in the photo below. Just glue the bead and the button together and it looks like a little glass vase sitting on a brown coaster – and then add the small clipping to the bead with another small dab of glue.

Another fun added touch is to dump some colorful beads or large sequins into the bath tub and the sink to create some “fake water.” I found some blue ones a little later on, but already had these pink sequin things from a jewelry kit we had around the house, so I tossed them in and the kids had a lot of fun “bathing” their little dolls and teddy bears in ’em. Much better than them putting real water in their tub and sink ;)

You can see it a little better in this photo below, along with my homemade potted plant.

The kids also especially like “interactive” additions to their houses, like the rocking horse & rocking chair, which both get a lot of use from their little figures. Our daughter’s house also has a Christmas tree and some tiny fake wrapped presents to go around the base of it – and they LOVE that too. Anything they can weave a story around seems to be a real hit – and stuff that moves like drawers that come out and chests that open add excitement-factor too (they also love that the toilet cover goes up and down).

So that rounds out the tour of House #1 for ya. We hope to eventually share our larger and more detailed renovation of the bigger house for our daughter’s room someday. She wants electricity and all that good stuff, so it might take a while, but hopefully I’ll be back with all the details in the next year or two. You never know how long these whole-house renos are gonna take ;)

Also dollhouses are not just for girls. So many little guys who come over to play run right up to them and LOVE it.

Psst – To check out how to make a much less detailed dollhouse for younger kids, here’s how we built one, and how we decorated it. And to hear more of the story about how we came across these two dollhouses that we’re fixing up now, you can tune into this podcast (all the details are in the first 10 minutes or so).

*This post contains affiliate links*

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A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse) published first on https://ssmattress.tumblr.com/

[billydmacklin]

A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse)

I was surprised how many questions I got about the little dollhouse sneak peeks I’ve shared on IG stories over the last few weeks as I fixed this up with the kids. And then I polled you guys to see if you wanted a post about it, and 91% of you voted yes, so here it is!

You can read more about how these came to be on this podcast from a few weeks back, but the gist is that the kids really wanted super detailed dollhouses to fix up, and we got two of them secondhand on Facebook marketplace to “renovate” together.

This little makeover was lots of fun for us all, since the kids were at the wheel picking all the colors and helping me paint and glue and arrange stuff, and although this technically lives in our son’s room, both kids definitely had a hand in making it over (we have another one that lives in our daughter’s room that we’re also working on together – which you can see below on the left of the photo). The lesson: even tiny houses take a village to fix up.

The quick pic I snapped below shows what this one looked like when we got it (I barely remembered to snap the before photo, hence that dash of white paint on the facade since we had already started painting).

Our son was adamant that he wanted it to be white with light blue shutters and gold trim along the peak (this is the gold I used – be sure to shake this thoroughly for the best coverage). The kid knew what he wanted and was unwavering. Ha! So his vision came to fruition thanks to a whole lot of painting.

We just used simple craft paint from Michael’s and we all pitched in (we had the entire interior and exterior to do). The kids could easily do things like the floor, walls, and exterior house color and I helped with the more detailed jobs, like the trim (I just used a small craft brush). Also we made up a song as we went, which went a little something like this: “Ahh, don’t get paint on the roof! Go slow! Whew! We can do this! Ahhhh, avoid the roof!” Catchy, eh? If you’re super worried you can cover it with plastic and tape it off, but our song seemed to work for the most part.

Oh and that decorative trim around the peak came with the dollhouse, it just broke off and I re-glued it back on with wood glue (this glue works great – I just taped them in place while they dried so I didn’t have to stand there holding them for an hour).

I loved getting to reuse some things we’ve had for ages (way back from our daughter’s first dollhouse), like those topiaries that you see on the front porch. The funny thing is that I found those in the wedding aisle at Michael’s 6 years ago, and they’re actually meant to be place cards (there’s a small wire loop at the top to stick name cards in). Cute miniature things are EVERYWHERE if you look close enough.

As for the “greenery” in the window boxes above, I just bought this small faux plant “mat” from Michael’s (don’t forget your 50% off coupons – they saved me so much money when I was grabbing the acrylic paint, craft glue, and the little faux green mat).

Here’s a Burger-for-scale shot for ya. He was VERY INTO trying to help, but sadly dogs can’t paint very well. Oh and we have since fixed the steps, so I’ll have to share a little update video on Instagram stories about how we did it. Super simple – you just slice thin craft wood (like this) with an exacto knife to make the steps, glue them into place with wood glue, and paint them to match. Truly so easy! Like 10,000% easier than building a human-sized staircase ;)

This is where this dollhouse lives, right in the corner of our son’s room. For those who listened to the podcast about “Operation Acquire Two Dollhouses”, you may remember that I thought this was a much smaller dollhouse (like shoebox sized) and was shocked when it was almost as big as his extra high dresser – and then we picked up the one for our daughter… and… well… it was massive. Ha! But they LOVE them, so I guess it all worked out. Even if dollhouses now make up 8% of our actual house’s contents now.

As for how we fixed things up inside, this is what we started with. All the furniture in each house was collected over two bulk purchases on Facebook Marketplace (we spent around $30 total for enough furniture to fill TWO houses!). This before shot of the back of the house and the furniture isn’t completely congruent with the next after shot since I took this photo on Christmas Eve, and then the kids came down on Christmas morning and had all sorts of furniture swaps and rearranging parties.

But you get the general gist that the floors were wood, the walls were sort of a cream-white color and a lot of the furniture was wood, deep red, green and cream, etc. Once again our tiny homeowner knew exactly what he wanted for the inside: white walls and light blue floors – just like the shutters and trim (this is the exact blue color we used by the way).

We all got to work painting those (again, just with craft paint from Michael’s) and once the floor & walls were dry we had some fun painting the beds gold, adding a pink top to the table and two of the chairs – whatever the kids wanted – we did! And the funny thing is that they both said the sink and the fridge had to be pink like the stove at the pink house! You know I didn’t argue with that ;)

The little pillows were things our daughter already had from a small doll she had gotten ages ago, and even the “bedding” on the two beds were cloth bags I had saved in our gift wrapping closet (one is from Kendra Scott jewelry and it’s the perfect “sleeping bag” size and the other is a plain blue cloth bag that something else came in).

There were a few special purchases that we made with the kids. They had an Amazon gift card and some Christmas money to spend, so after a loooooooong deliberation they decided that two plates of pancakes (you can see those on the right of the photo above) and a little gingerbread making kit (seen below) were the best things to buy, along with this set of pots & pans (you can see them in the photo above on the fridge). They’ve never been so excited to check the mail every day until they arrived.

Oh and that little candlestick has real wax candles! It came with one of the sets of old dollhouse furniture we bought secondhand – and you might remember those round wire chairs from our daughter’s first dollhouse too (originally they were little decorative chairs meant as shelf decor from West Elm years ago).

You know it super bugs me that I took all these photos like a day before I fixed those stairs, right? #TypeA

Along with DIYing the greenery in the window boxes, I also made a few house plants from scratch. It was really simple and fun, I just took small clippings from the same faux green mat thing I bought for the window boxes, and I glued them into various small things that look like pots. One was a wood bead (see that one on the top of the toilet in the picture below?) and one was a small white flowerpot I found at the craft store.

I also used a clear bead + a brown flat button to make the little plant you see in the photo below. Just glue the bead and the button together and it looks like a little glass vase sitting on a brown coaster – and then add the small clipping to the bead with another small dab of glue.

Another fun added touch is to dump some colorful beads or large sequins into the bath tub and the sink to create some “fake water.” I found some blue ones a little later on, but already had these pink sequin things from a jewelry kit we had around the house, so I tossed them in and the kids had a lot of fun “bathing” their little dolls and teddy bears in ’em. Much better than them putting real water in their tub and sink ;)

You can see it a little better in this photo below, along with my homemade potted plant.

The kids also especially like “interactive” additions to their houses, like the rocking horse & rocking chair, which both get a lot of use from their little figures. Our daughter’s house also has a Christmas tree and some tiny fake wrapped presents to go around the base of it – and they LOVE that too. Anything they can weave a story around seems to be a real hit – and stuff that moves like drawers that come out and chests that open add excitement-factor too (they also love that the toilet cover goes up and down).

So that rounds out the tour of House #1 for ya. We hope to eventually share our larger and more detailed renovation of the bigger house for our daughter’s room someday. She wants electricity and all that good stuff, so it might take a while, but hopefully I’ll be back with all the details in the next year or two. You never know how long these whole-house renos are gonna take ;)

Also dollhouses are not just for girls. So many little guys who come over to play run right up to them and LOVE it.

Psst – To check out how to make a much less detailed dollhouse for younger kids, here’s how we built one, and how we decorated it. And to hear more of the story about how we came across these two dollhouses that we’re fixing up now, you can tune into this podcast (all the details are in the first 10 minutes or so).

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse) appeared first on Young House Love.

A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse) published first on https://carpetgurus.tumblr.com/

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A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse) http://bit.ly/2Ryn9x0

I was surprised how many questions I got about the little dollhouse sneak peeks I’ve shared on IG stories over the last few weeks as I fixed this up with the kids. And then I polled you guys to see if you wanted a post about it, and 91% of you voted yes, so here it is!

You can read more about how these came to be on this podcast from a few weeks back, but the gist is that the kids really wanted super detailed dollhouses to fix up, and we got two of them secondhand on Facebook marketplace to “renovate” together.

This little makeover was lots of fun for us all, since the kids were at the wheel picking all the colors and helping me paint and glue and arrange stuff, and although this technically lives in our son’s room, both kids definitely had a hand in making it over (we have another one that lives in our daughter’s room that we’re also working on together – which you can see below on the left of the photo). The lesson: even tiny houses take a village to fix up.

The quick pic I snapped below shows what this one looked like when we got it (I barely remembered to snap the before photo, hence that dash of white paint on the facade since we had already started painting).

Our son was adamant that he wanted it to be white with light blue shutters and gold trim along the peak (this is the gold I used – be sure to shake this thoroughly for the best coverage). The kid knew what he wanted and was unwavering. Ha! So his vision came to fruition thanks to a whole lot of painting.

We just used simple craft paint from Michael’s and we all pitched in (we had the entire interior and exterior to do). The kids could easily do things like the floor, walls, and exterior house color and I helped with the more detailed jobs, like the trim (I just used a small craft brush). Also we made up a song as we went, which went a little something like this: “Ahh, don’t get paint on the roof! Go slow! Whew! We can do this! Ahhhh, avoid the roof!” Catchy, eh? If you’re super worried you can cover it with plastic and tape it off, but our song seemed to work for the most part.

Oh and that decorative trim around the peak came with the dollhouse, it just broke off and I re-glued it back on with wood glue (this glue works great – I just taped them in place while they dried so I didn’t have to stand there holding them for an hour).

I loved getting to reuse some things we’ve had for ages (way back from our daughter’s first dollhouse), like those topiaries that you see on the front porch. The funny thing is that I found those in the wedding aisle at Michael’s 6 years ago, and they’re actually meant to be place cards (there’s a small wire loop at the top to stick name cards in). Cute miniature things are EVERYWHERE if you look close enough.

As for the “greenery” in the window boxes above, I just bought this small faux plant “mat” from Michael’s (don’t forget your 50% off coupons – they saved me so much money when I was grabbing the acrylic paint, craft glue, and the little faux green mat).

Here’s a Burger-for-scale shot for ya. He was VERY INTO trying to help, but sadly dogs can’t paint very well. Oh and we have since fixed the steps, so I’ll have to share a little update video on Instagram stories about how we did it. Super simple – you just slice thin craft wood (like this) with an exacto knife to make the steps, glue them into place with wood glue, and paint them to match. Truly so easy! Like 10,000% easier than building a human-sized staircase ;)

This is where this dollhouse lives, right in the corner of our son’s room. For those who listened to the podcast about “Operation Acquire Two Dollhouses”, you may remember that I thought this was a much smaller dollhouse (like shoebox sized) and was shocked when it was almost as big as his extra high dresser – and then we picked up the one for our daughter… and… well… it was massive. Ha! But they LOVE them, so I guess it all worked out. Even if dollhouses now make up 8% of our actual house’s contents now.

As for how we fixed things up inside, this is what we started with. All the furniture in each house was collected over two bulk purchases on Facebook Marketplace (we spent around $30 total for enough furniture to fill TWO houses!). This before shot of the back of the house and the furniture isn’t completely congruent with the next after shot since I took this photo on Christmas Eve, and then the kids came down on Christmas morning and had all sorts of furniture swaps and rearranging parties.

But you get the general gist that the floors were wood, the walls were sort of a cream-white color and a lot of the furniture was wood, deep red, green and cream, etc. Once again our tiny homeowner knew exactly what he wanted for the inside: white walls and light blue floors – just like the shutters and trim (this is the exact blue color we used by the way).

We all got to work painting those (again, just with craft paint from Michael’s) and once the floor & walls were dry we had some fun painting the beds gold, adding a pink top to the table and two of the chairs – whatever the kids wanted – we did! And the funny thing is that they both said the sink and the fridge had to be pink like the stove at the pink house! You know I didn’t argue with that ;)

The little pillows were things our daughter already had from a small doll she had gotten ages ago, and even the “bedding” on the two beds were cloth bags I had saved in our gift wrapping closet (one is from Kendra Scott jewelry and it’s the perfect “sleeping bag” size and the other is a plain blue cloth bag that something else came in).

There were a few special purchases that we made with the kids. They had an Amazon gift card and some Christmas money to spend, so after a loooooooong deliberation they decided that two plates of pancakes (you can see those on the right of the photo above) and a little gingerbread making kit (seen below) were the best things to buy, along with this set of pots & pans (you can see them in the photo above on the fridge). They’ve never been so excited to check the mail every day until they arrived.

Oh and that little candlestick has real wax candles! It came with one of the sets of old dollhouse furniture we bought secondhand – and you might remember those round wire chairs from our daughter’s first dollhouse too (originally they were little decorative chairs meant as shelf decor from West Elm years ago).

You know it super bugs me that I took all these photos like a day before I fixed those stairs, right? #TypeA

Along with DIYing the greenery in the window boxes, I also made a few house plants from scratch. It was really simple and fun, I just took small clippings from the same faux green mat thing I bought for the window boxes, and I glued them into various small things that look like pots. One was a wood bead (see that one on the top of the toilet in the picture below?) and one was a small white flowerpot I found at the craft store.

I also used a clear bead + a brown flat button to make the little plant you see in the photo below. Just glue the bead and the button together and it looks like a little glass vase sitting on a brown coaster – and then add the small clipping to the bead with another small dab of glue.

Another fun added touch is to dump some colorful beads or large sequins into the bath tub and the sink to create some “fake water.” I found some blue ones a little later on, but already had these pink sequin things from a jewelry kit we had around the house, so I tossed them in and the kids had a lot of fun “bathing” their little dolls and teddy bears in ’em. Much better than them putting real water in their tub and sink ;)

You can see it a little better in this photo below, along with my homemade potted plant.

The kids also especially like “interactive” additions to their houses, like the rocking horse & rocking chair, which both get a lot of use from their little figures. Our daughter’s house also has a Christmas tree and some tiny fake wrapped presents to go around the base of it – and they LOVE that too. Anything they can weave a story around seems to be a real hit – and stuff that moves like drawers that come out and chests that open add excitement-factor too (they also love that the toilet cover goes up and down).

So that rounds out the tour of House #1 for ya. We hope to eventually share our larger and more detailed renovation of the bigger house for our daughter’s room someday. She wants electricity and all that good stuff, so it might take a while, but hopefully I’ll be back with all the details in the next year or two. You never know how long these whole-house renos are gonna take ;)

Also dollhouses are not just for girls. So many little guys who come over to play run right up to them and LOVE it.

Psst – To check out how to make a much less detailed dollhouse for younger kids, here’s how we built one, and how we decorated it. And to hear more of the story about how we came across these two dollhouses that we’re fixing up now, you can tune into this podcast (all the details are in the first 10 minutes or so).

*This post contains affiliate links*

The post A Tiny House Makeover (Ok, It’s A Dollhouse) appeared first on Young House Love.