#I forgot to eat both the breakfast I packed and also my lunch

[sweetdispatch]

Why are you doing this to yourself? - Q. Hughes

pairing: Quinn Hughes x girlfriend!reader

summary: Quinn's girlfriend relapsed to her old habits after his comment

warning: mentions of cheating, mentions of eating disorder, mentions of throwing up, mentions of sex (nothing graphic), swearing, angst, hurt/comfort

words: 2.4k

note: my first ever published fic!! I used a name instead of Y/N because i don't feel comfortable writing without names so sorry for that. Also, english is not my first language so apologies if there's gonna be any mistakes. I'm proud of this piece and I hope you'll enjoy reading🤍

if you are struggling with eating disorder, please talk to somebody, your family, friends or even to me, you are not alone in this!❤️‍🩹

masterlist

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Zara never had been in a healthy relationship. Since high school times, all her boyfriends were abusive towards her. As a teenager, she got into  love-hate relationship with food. Always blaming herself and her look for not being good enough to have a partner. When she had been multiple times cheated on, she truly believed that’s because she’s fat and unattractive. The truth was that she was looking normal, like every teenage girl but her low self confidence let her believe that she’s the problem. Zara was skipping meals and when she ate something, she felt guilty and was forcing herself to throw up. When she graduated high school, she came back on right tracks. Yes, she still was struggling and had episodes of skipping meals but it got way better than it was back then.

When Zara met Quinn, she was impressed by how well spoken he is and very respectful towards her. She truly started to believe that she deserves to be loved. He was always giving her compliments and her confidence was growing. She never told him about how shitty exes she had and her problems with eating. She didn’t wanted a pity party from him. She truly believed that she’s a new person thanks to him. After a year of dating, Quinn had been named a new captain of the Vancouver Canucks. Zara was more than happy for him because she knew how hardworking person he is. Although she didn’t expected him to ask her to move into his apartment.

“Honey, I was just thinking that maybe you would like to move in to me? You already spent most of the time here and your work is closer from my place than yours. Plus with me having a new role in club, our schedules might go crazy and I want to spent every free minute with you”. Quinn casually said when they were laying on the couch watching a movie.

“It’s a huge step in our relationship Quinny… but I’m ready for it. I would love to move into your place”. Zara said and kissed his cheek.

Next week, the couple was packing Zara’s things from her place to later put them in Quinn’s apartment. Most of the things were already in his place but they still had to pick up the rest. They life living together was like a honeymoon until Quinn got into fixation about healthy food. He was always cooking for both of them and tried to keep balanced diet. Zara started having flashbacks to her life from high school, when she was trying to keep being super healthy but she said nothing to Quinn. One day, she haven’t ate breakfast because she was running late and later, completely forgot about lunch. On her way back to their apartment, she decided to buy pizza for dinner because she wasn’t in a mood for cooking. Zara ate the whole thing on one sitting finishing projects for work. When Quinn came home after the game, he saw the box. He thought she left him some of the pizza but it was just an empty box.

“Wow, you must been really hungry that you ate whole pizza and haven’t even left ma piece”. He joked, hoverer her face fell down when she realized that she ate an entire pizza this afternoon.

“Yeah, I haven’t got time in the morning to eat breakfast and later forgot to go and grab a lunch.” Zara admitted to him ashamed.

“Honey, we talk about it. You have to eat healthy”. Although Quinn meant eating three meals per day but she interpreted this otherwise.

“I know, I’m sorry”. She went to hug him and started asking him about today’s game just to change the topic.

He haven’t missed the way her face fell when he joked but decided not to mention this. Next days were hard for Zara. She had all time in her head Quinn’s words. Every evening when she was getting ready to take shower, she was looking on her body in mirror’s reflection. She started to see how her thighs got bigger and how her stomach wasn’t perfectly flat. She started to wear baggy clothes to cover her body from the world. She was also pushing Quinn away when he wanted to have sex with her. He saw those changes but he thought that she’s just overworked and tired. He haven’t asked anything but tried to be supportive as much as he could.

When Quinn had to left her for a roadie, Zara completely lost it. No one was there to make sure she’s eating proper meals. She started skipping breakfast. On lunch, she was only eating salads. When she was at home, she haven't cooked dinner. She thought that’s the best for her to started looking more attractive for Quinn.

After a week, Quinn came back home and decided to buy them takeout food from their favorite Italian place. He knew, she probably haven’t ate dinner and was waiting for him to eat together. When Quinn stepped into their place, he met unfamiliar cold. Zara wasn’t there to kiss and hug him like she was always doing when he was back from roadie. He saw her sitting in living room and watching a movie.

“Hi honey. I hope you are hungry because I bought us carbonara from the Italian place you love”. He said and kissed her forehead.

“Actually, I’m not hungry babe but feel free to eat yours. I’ll just eat it tomorrow”. She said.

“Okay. Have you ate dinner already?” He asked concerned.

“Well no, but…”

“Then take your pretty ass to the table because you have to eat”. Quinn said surprised at her words.

“I’m really not hungry Quinn”. She started getting irritated at him.

“I’m not playing with you Zara. You either gonna eat with me or I’m gonna force you to do it”. He said firmly.

Knowing that she’s in a lost position, she gave up and went to sit with him at the dinner table. She ate half of her portion and excused herself to the bathroom. In that moment, she was delighted that the bathroom is far from the living room and Quinn couldn’t hear her. Feeling the guilt of eating pasta, she forced herself to throw up. After she was done, she brushed her teeth and came back.

“I can’t eat anymore Quinny. I’ll pack the pasta and bring it to work with me for lunch". She said, knowing that she’s gonna throw the pasta to the trash the minute she leave the apartment for work tomorrow.

“Yeah, sure. What about bath together and just laying in our bed. I’m so tired”. He proposed.

“Sounds like a plan babe.” She went and kissed him.

Two days later, when Quinn and Zara were making out, he started to pull up her hoodie. She stopped him. Quinn finally decided to confront her. He was done with her not wanting to be intimate with him. He also saw that she wasn’t eating breakfast at home, always excusing herself with running late.

“What’s happening with you lately?” He asked in the nicest way he could.

“I don’t know about what you are talking about”.

“Cut the bullshit. I know you are skipping breakfast. I am not dumb not to see you always acting, like you are late and not eating breakfast when we both know it’s a lie. Also, I don’t know what I did wrong to you, but you always push me away when I try to have sex with you. So tell me, what’s happening”. He started getting mad at her with every minute.

“Quinn, I’m telling you, nothing is happening”. She was too ashamed to admit to him her problems and decided to lie.

“Fucking hell Zara. I know you for almost two years. We live together. I know you like the back of my hand. I know that something is wrong with you. You know that I’m here for you to listen and help”. He tried so hard not to yell at her.

“I’m not gonna stand here and listen to you accusations. Everything is fine!” She screamed the last sentence and left, feeling guilt for not telling him truth.

After the argument, both of them were giving each other cold shoulder. She stopped eating at all, even the salads for lunch. He wanted so hard to find out what’s going on with her but after her reaction, he decided not to push her and wait until she tell him.

Couple days later, he accidently walked into the bathroom when she was taking shower. When he saw her, Quinn thought he’s gonna cry. Her ribs was visible through her skin. She looked so skinny that it started to terrify him. He left and went to their bedroom thinking how he should ask her about it without getting into another argument.

“Hey, can we talk?” He asked unsure of her reaction.

“Sure, What’s up?”

“I saw you in the shower”.

“Oh”. That’s all she could say.

“Look, I know something is happening with you and I don’t want to push you but your body looks unhealthy. Why are you doing this to yourself?” He said not knowing where the conversation will take him. She sat quietly for couple minutes before she spoke to him.

“Can you promise me that you won’t get mad at me when I tell you?” She haven’t been looking at him, she kept her eyes on her hands.

“I promise honey”. He saw that she was playing with her nails and decided to replace it with his hand.

“I have a weird relationship with food. I’ve been struggling with it since high school. Every guy I’ve dated cheated one me and I thought it’s my fault. I started eating super healthy but when I saw it’s not getting me anywhere, I decided to skip meals. When I ate something, I felt guilty about it and forced myself to throw up. After graduation, it got better. Sure, I had episodes of skipping meals when I was triggered but it was getting better”. She said with her tears rolling down her face.

“Oh honey, I’m so sorry to hear that”. He hugged her tightly and started to smoothing her hair. After couple of minutes, he decided to ask.

“What was your trigger this time?”

“I don’t think you want to know”. Zara didn’t wanted to make him feel guilty.

“I want to know”. He said softly.

“Remember when you get back home the other day and saw the empty box of pizza?” He nodded.

“This was my trigger. When you pointed out that I ate the whole pizza and said that I have to eat healthy. I felt that you’ll find me unattractive and will cheat on me like others”. She said completely ignoring his presence. He signed, mad at himself for even saying that.

“Zara, I’m so fucking sorry for making you feel this way. It was never my intention. I was just joking but I see now how hurtful it was for you. Please forgive me”. He said with voice full of guilt.

“It’s okay Quinny, you didn’t know”.

“It’s not okay. God, I made you feel bad and I’ll never forgive myself for that”. After couple seconds, Quinn asked again.

“When I brought the pasta after I got back home from roadie and forced you to eat with me, did you… Did you throw up when you excused yourself to the bathroom?” He asked not sure if he’s ready to hear the answer. When Zara haven’t said anything, he knew how big damage he had done.

He hugged her tightly and kissed her forehead. She was crying into his shoulder when he was whispering apologies into her ear.

The next morning, Quinn made breakfast for both of them. When she saw the plate, he was fast to explain.

“I know you struggle now but I want you to eat something. I’m not gonna be forcing the full meal into you and you don’t have to eat all of it. At least try. Step by step”. She felt the love and respect in his voice and decided to bite a little bit of the toast. Before she left, he gave her paper bag.

“I’ve made you lunch. Again, I’m not forcing you but at least eat the granola bar. I love you.” He kissed her cheek.

“Thank you Quinny. Love you too.” She said and gave him a kiss.

Quinn started reading books about eating disorder and was learning everything to know how to help her and not make her feel even worst. He wanted to be the best boyfriend to her knowing that he’s responsible for her relapse into old habits. When he had time, he was preparing her favorite dishes. He made one cupboard in the kitchen with her favorite snacks. Never pushed her to eat full meals but wanted her to eat something.

When Quinn had to leave her for roadie for the first time since she told him about her relationship with food, he was scared. He didn’t wanted her to skip meals while he’s gone but he also knew that he can’t ask her directly if she ate. He decided to face time her every time he knew she was supposed to eat breakfast, lunch or dinner just to check up on her and see if she’s eating at that time.

Two weeks later, Quinn came back home and could smell a steak. He was surprised because he haven’t saw Zara in the kitchen for the past two months. The minute he entered the room she said.

“I thought you might be hungry. I’ve cooked you steak with fries”. She said and went to hug him.

“What about you honey?”

“I already ate dinner”.

“Zara”. He said knowing that she’s lying.

“I’m joking. I’ve made myself pasta with pesto”.

“Good that you have jokes on you but please, let’s not joke about it”. He said firmly.

“I’m sorry Quinny”. After seeing his reaction, she felt bad for even joking about this.

“Hey! Don’t be puffy, it’s fine. I just want to be sure you’re fed and healthy”.

“Ay, ay captain. Now let’s eat before it gets cold”. She grabbed his hand and went to the table with him. After they ate dinner, he said.

“It was delicious honey. I’m so happy you’re back on right tracks. I’m proud of you and I mean it”.

“I don’t know if I would make it without your support. Thank you for everything. I love you”. She went to kiss him but he deepened the kiss.

“Quinn I have to do the dishes, can it wait?” She asked.

“Oh hell no. I haven’t had my time with you for two months and I want to show you how much I love you and how much I adore your body. I want to make sure my girl knows that she’s gorgeous”

He lifted her up and carried her to the bedroom where they had fun all night long.

[amaiwrites]

MHA GIRLS AS YOUR CLASSMATE

What it would be like to be classmates with the 1-A girls!

mha girls x gn!reader hcs! (can be read as platonic or romantic) ochako, momo, jiro, mina, tsuyu and hagakure

OCHAKO URARAKA, who passes you little notes everyday. It could be a question like “wanna hang out after school?” or just a cute drawing, but you often see a little folded paper on your desk. 

It’s the middle of class and you just noticed something on your desk. a folded paper with a tiny pink heart drawn on top. You look over to Ochako, who’s too busy writing down notes about the lesson to notice you smiling at her.

You open the paper, reading the content inside. “hey, wanna hang out after school? :D” is written in black ink. you take your pencil and write on her note “ofc <3” and slide it back to her. 

Ochako reads the note, smiling over at you before going back to her notes. 

MOMO YAOYOROZU, who helps you study. If you space off in class, she’ll let you copy off her notes. She even invites you to her dorm for study dates, because she “has fun helping you with your academics.”

“Y/n?”

You snap out of your thoughts, looking over at Momo. “Yeah?”

“You haven’t written down any notes.” You look at Momo’s paper with half of the page already filled— then at yours, which is empty. 

“Here, you can copy off mine, but pay more attention next time!” Momo tilts her notebook towards you slightly, and you thank her for helping and start writing.

Momo tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “We can also study at my dorm later, if you want.”

You nod your head in agreement, making Momo smile. 

KYOKA JIRO, who gives you her airpod in a boring class so you can both listen to music. She’ll usually play loud rock music but sometimes you’ll convince her to turn it down so she can at least try to focus. 

You let out a sigh, only loud enough for you, and Jiro, to hear. She looks over at you, then digs through her bag and pulls out her airpods case. You take an airpod from her and she puts on her “punk rock” playlist.

You take a few minutes to not pay attention to Mr. Aizawa, lightly tapping your feet to the rhythm of the music. After one or two songs, you turn to face Jiro. 

“Hey, maybe we should try to pay attention a little bit, that looks like some stuff we should know…”

Jiro shrugs. “Yeah, you’re right.” she turns her music down some, giving you a thumbs up before she starts writing. 

MINA ASHIDO, who is always talking to you during class. It doesn’t bother you at all, but Aizawa often has to interrupt his teaching to tell her to pay attention. Due to all of her talking she doesn’t get the best grades, but you try your best to help her!

“Hey Y/n? Me and the squad are gonna be hanging out in my room if you wanna come! It’ll be fun!” Mina whisper shouts, a grin on her face.

“I’ll be there!” You whisper back, already excited to be there to see the bakusquad shenanigans.

“Oh, did you hear that-“ 

“Mina, stop talking in my class, or i will send you to detention.” Aizawa clears his throat and goes back to his lesson. Mina grabs your arm and has a displeased look on her face.

“i’ll tell you later..” She says, and then she tries to focus on the lesson. You can clearly see that she’s confused.  

“I could help you later if you want.” You offer, and Mina wraps you up in a hug.

“I love you Y/n thank you!!” she exclaims not in a whisper voice and you quickly shush her. Luckily Aizawa didn’t hear anything.

TSUYU ASUI, who is always giving you little snacks and packing your lunch for you. Sometimes she’ll even bring delicious homemade food!

Your stomach grumbles and you look around to see if anyone noticed— but they didn’t. You forgot to eat breakfast and it’s the class before lunch, so you’re starving. You stare at the clock, willing it to go faster. 

“Y/n? Are you hungry, kero? I made chocolate cookies if you want some.” Your eyes light up at Tsu’s words and you eagerly nod your head. 

Tsu hands you a cookie and you take a bite of it immediately. “Mmm!” you whisper because you‘re not really supposed to be eating in class, “These are so good, thank you!”

“im glad you like them, kero.” Tsu says, taking a bite of her cookie as well.

TORU HAGAKURE, who always lets you borrow her school supplies. Pencils, highlighters, erasers, anything you need!

“Okay class, take out your pencil and notebook. You’re gonna need them for this assignment.” Mr. Aizawa says. You pull out your notebook but after searching for two minutes, you realize that you have no pencil.

Hagakure taps you on the shoulder. “Y/n? Here, take this.” She holds out a sky blue pencil with little clouds on the sides.

“Thanks!” You say, “You’re really awesome for letting me use your school supplies, Hagakure. I owe you one!”

You can’t see Hagakure’s expression, but she sounds like she’s flustered. “O-oh, it’s no problem! I’m happy to help.”

i reposted this from my old account but i improved the writing a lot lol

taglist ✧ @sara4uuu (open, ask to be added!)

[mooki3-bear]

Who wants the drama (babydaddy!Chris sturniolo x black!fem!reader

Summary: A look into the morning with Chris as the father of your child

Warnings: None

“Chris, what are you doing here so early? It’s not your week,” you say as you open the door in nothing but a bonnet, plaid pajama pants, and a fresh love sweatshirt, to see your daughter's father.

“Why do I need an excuse to come and see my favorite girls” He leans in to kiss you on the cheek. As you push his face away with an eye roll you hear your three-year-old running around the corner. 

“Hi Babygirl” Chris exclaims as your daughter, Isa, runs into his arms. “You spending the night” your sweet, curly-haired, girl asks him.

“No, I'm sorry honey! Mommy doesn’t let me do the anymore” With that comment, you hit him on the arm as you make your way into the kitchen.

You and Chris decided to co-parent a year ago after a particularly bad falling out about how each of you wanted to raise Isa. You also just had different goals in life that just didn’t meet each other's so you decided to call it quits and just live separately. Besides all of the disagreements, you both still find a way to get along and raise a beautiful little girl.

Chris follows you into the kitchen with Isa in his arms. As he sets her at the table for breakfast he notices a big bouquet lying on the counter.  “Where’d you get these from, Trader Joe’s,” he says with a giggle.

“No, you fool. I got them from…someone”  You say, putting eggs on your daughter's plate. 

Chris’s smile instantly falls from his face as you look at the big smile that just appeared on yours. “What do you mean? Like, you went on a date with someone” he says as he circles the counter to stand next to you. 

“Why do I have to go on a date to get flowers? Maybe he gave them to me just for fun”

“He? What the hell do you mean he”

“Chris! Don’t curse in front of my child” You whisper, waving a spatula in his face. You both turn to see Isa staring at you both, eggs stuffed in her mouth.

You both mentally agree to go into the guest room to argue while she finishes eating.

“What’s his name”

“None of your business Christopher”

“Does Isa know about him?” he said, crossing his arms with furrowed eyebrows.

“No Chris! I went on one date with him and I'm not just gonna let her around anybody” Chris lets out a sigh as he sits himself on the bed.

“It’s been a year man. I need to get some too”

“What makes you think I'm getting anything” You quirk your eyebrow at the boy as he sits up on the bed.

“I'm serious y/n! I haven’t been with anyone since we broke up” he explains as he walks closer. He looks deeply into your eyes, waiting for a response from you. You by instinct put your hand on his arms as you lean in closer to him, inches away from his face.

“Aww…that sounds like a huge you issue” With that being said, you walk away to go get Isa ready for daycare.

After what felt like an hour, Chris follows you to meet you in the kitchen.

“I can take her today,” He says as he notices you packing the rest of Isa’s lunch. “You don’t have to do that Chris,” You say as you put the glittery lunch box into her purple backpack.

“Of course I can! I didn’t get my license for nothing” he states, standing proudly.

You roll your eyes as you shove her backpack into his hands, before bending down to tie Isa’s shoes.

“Have a good day princess! Make sure daddy walks you in ok” Isa nods her head as she gives you a kiss on the cheek.

“Aw damn, I forgot something,” Chris says as he pretends to look around.

“What is it” Before you can say anything else Chris sneakily gives you a quick kiss on the cheek before grabbing Isa and running out the door, the little girl giggling in his arms.

You yell Chris's name with a giggle before running behind him to see him putting Isa snug in her car seat.

Watching him, you couldn't help but think that there is no one else you would rather have to be your baby daddy.

[kcalsforhim]

˖⋆࿐໋ sunday 8th of december

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today i woke up nice and comfortable in my bed,, i had been tossing and turning all night long kinda sleeping weirdly... so when i woke up this morning i decided to go downstairs and have breakfast.. psst.. i didnt have the best food day, but my weekends are always my worst food days so im not even going to hate myself anymore atp

breakfast : 4 chevape, a dot of mustard, a small babybowl of pumpkin soup, and 1 lotus cookie.

cals : 177

this time i had my breakfast actually warm.. the soup was nice and rich and creamy, it had just the right flavours and i like this way more than i did the soup out of the pack i had last month during soup diet week (which failed LMFAO). happy with my accomplishment of one lotus.. then my 4 chevape was good, there were only 4 left which meant i really couldnt overfill my plate either way

then i went back upstairs after i had this, it was good and it actually left me feeling ok. when i got myself ready to go to work i brought the lunch my mom packed with me.

lunch : a serving of pumpkin soup , chicken in one container, and in the other container some chicken and pasta. both of these portions were also satisfyingly small

cals : 321

the soup was lovely as i had described earlier, the chicken in the container came out of a pot of like.. chorba my parents were having today that i will not eat even if my life depended on it lmfaoooo. the chicken was okay, it was the only thing that was warm hahaha

then the pasta and chicken in the second container were better, i liked that it was slightly spicy ? i didnt have those.. green circle vegetables.. i dont like the texture of that thing so i threw it away

drinks : monster zero sugar ultra rosa, hot chocolate, but i only let the machine dispense 20% of the milk

cals : 52

mark gave me that monster, i chose the hot chocolate of my own accord... i watched as the milk from our coffee machine pooled down near the drain... i actually gave mark a hot chocolate but with the milk since he doesnt care, and there was a very visible difference.. what i drank was essentially water and chocolate powder, with basically a splash of milk.

work was going fine until one person just... idk threw me off and ruined my entire day ? basically i was ready to crash out at annnny second. the more the minutes ticked by, the more stressed and overwhelmed i was getting. i was actually reflecting how ive been thinking of quitting my job for a whiiile now, but since ill be going to a 40hrs a week internship, i need my weekend rest before i explode. so after my shift ended i wrote my manager a note and stuck it on the POS screen

"sorry i forgot to count the flowers... also, ill be dropping by tommorow, ill only have 5 minutes of your time" ... and well yeah tommorow im putting in my 2 weeks notice. or however.. whatvever. im quitting my job lol. went home after this crying LMFAO im so stressed

dinner : 1 tortilla thing, its very thin, a small layer of cream cheese, ketchup, 2 salami slices, that in a tosti toaster thing. then 1 apple, and some honey... idk what the chunks are probably some kind of nuts...

cals : 334

the original plan was to come home and eat 6 packs of kinder bueno making 12 kinder bueno's in total.. however i decided to ask my mom to make me something instead. she was very considerate of how i eat and my portioning, and we came up with something healthy and nourishing that would make me feel better rather than me being an idiot and binging on lots and lots of chocolate.. i did infact feel better and i know this was not needed, i couldve gone to bed, but this happens all the time after work and i just need to accept that my job like, actually stresses me out after close to the point where it makes me cry and makes me want to binge. the portion is kind of big but.. it couldve been worse. idk. tommorow im omad'ing

total steps : 6.3 k total cals : 884

i found this song while posting on my insta about my oc's and i needed a song to go with it... this is so cute !!! and so catchy, i love it ~

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[pbandjesse]

I am very tired today. I also am just having trouble hearing people. I feel like I am hearing them but not understanding. I don't know what's up. Not fun.

Last night when I got home James wanted me to try their garlic bread. Which was very good but I was not hungry so I didn't eat much. I was just so tired. I washed my hair and felt a little better. And fell asleep pretty quickly. I was just so beat.

I did not feel much better when I woke up. I just wanted to keep sleeping. I gave myself an extra 15 minutes and would get up and tried to feel fine.

Jsmss left while I was doing my makeup. They packed me lots of snacks and things today. And I had hoped that it would perk me up.

The drive into camp was fine. It wasn't as cold today but it was still cold.

I spent the first half hour I was there eating breakfast and working on my beading project. But soon I needed to go set up my program for the feild trip today.

I was frustrated when I went over to the eyrie and could not find my program box. It was in the closet. Why! Annoying. Whatever. I went to arts and crafts and set that up and turned on a space heater that did not do much. And went back to the office.

Sarah, Celia, and Eliza were there. We chatted and I kept working on my beading. I was not feeling very social. I wanted to save my energy for our field trip. Because it was going to go very quick and crazy. 4 groups of 23 2nd graders. 25 minute rotations. Wild.

And of course the group was late. So we had to cut the first program. Not shocked. Me and Celia were talking before they got there and we were both very worried about skipping a program. Because then everyone is missing a different one. And so someone won't do my craft and another won't see the animals. And it just makes us both a little stressed.

But we did our best to make it the best quick feildtirp we could!!

And they were lovely children. Good listeners. Just so sweet. And for being such a quick turn around we got through a bunch of stuff I would normally do in the bee program. They didn't all finish their crafts but their teacher said they could finish once they got back to school. That made me feel better too.

Elizabeth came up to watch the program. Which always makes me nervous but I think I did a good job. My tape dispensers are all broken so I would be standing there with tape and scissors and just put a ton of pieces on the edge of the table so people could just come and grab it.

In the last half hour Elizabeth came up to ask me to put together a bag of supplies for the group who didn't get to do the project. I am glad they will get to do it. So while I put that together and made an example Elizabeth would do the tape cutting and was like. We are getting you new dispensers. Amazing. That will make things a lot easier.

It would take me a while to clean up the art building. Putting my markers away. And sweeping. I returned the box to the eyrie and then to the lodge. I volunteered to clean the bathrooms because I had sweeping and putting away the chairs. So I collected all the trash (accidently upended the trash bag s d had to pick up all the paper towels) and sprayed everything with cleaning product and cleaned it up nice. I checked in with Bonnie and she said she would mop. Amazing. Hate doing the floors.

I had not gotten to eat lunch. During the 15 minute break we had in the middle of the trip I did run and eat a few mouthfuls of pasta salad. But I needed to eat for real.

I had my veggie hot dog and kept working on my beads. And would slowly start to feel better.

Me and Heather would go over my schedule I had made and she pointed out a few issues. Firstly I forgot about tipis. Just completely not on the schedule. Oops. And apparently we don't do canoes in the afternoon! Interesting. But at least for now I have something to fix. That's one of the things I want to do tomorrow. Continue to work on this schedule. And I want to work on the organizing of the attic. We will see how that goes.

I started coughing again this afternoon. Which was uncomfortable. I tried drinking more water but it didn't help much. I was excited to go home.

But first I had to go to the Dutch market.

I said goodbye to everyone. And drove to the market. I got some fancy soaps. One is a vanilla peppermint and the other is spiced chai. I got a ton of baked goods for us to have over the week. And I got me and James pretzels. I had to come back for those because they were in the oven still so once I got them they were super fresh. Amazing. It was nice walking around and seeing all the stuff. It was a fun stop.

I got stuck in some traffic on the way home but that was fine. It wasn't horrible. And I would be home around 5.

When I got inside James was there and I was happy to see them. They had gotten pizza dough ingredients in the bread machine for dinner later. And they went to get on their computer to do their podcast. And after I did a little cleaning of my fish tanks I went to work on my studio.

I made 6 more horses for the holiday market this weekend. They need finishing work but at least they are seen and stuffed. My hands still hurt from the cuts I got at ceramics. So I wasn't having the bestest time but it's fine. I'm glad I got them to that point. I'll finish those tomorrow.

I took a bath. Watched a video. James put an extra kettle of hot water in the tub for me. And now we are all in bed. Jess sent us a list of things we can go see in NYC next weekend when we go to do Christmas stuff. We highlighted a few things I would for sure like to see. I'm excited to go to New York with my favorite people. It's been forever since I've been there. And I think it's going to be a lot of fun.

I am very ready to sleep. I hope tomorrow is a productive day. And I feel better.

Sleep well everyone. Take care of eachother! Goodnight!

[40sandfabulousaf]

大家好! ML has seen me order tom yum goong at a stall near the office several times. As the office grew chilly during the rainy season, she was keen to give this beloved dish a try and she loved it. Between sips of spicy, tangy broth and bites of fresh prawns, fish, oyster mushrooms, onions, tomatoes and rice she kept saying hen hao chi (very delicious). MI also tried it that day and finished everything. There was a lot of food so I was stuffed when MI came to my desk offering dessert of blueberries. I only had belly room for a few but that's better than nothing! Tom yum goong will probably be 1 of my go-to dishes during this chilly weather. It's fiery, it sets my mouth on fire, it keeps me warm and it tastes amazing.

There was a gathering over a heavy dinner on Friday, so CY and I had a lighter lunch. We'd planned on having cut vegetables with hummus and ajitsuke tamago, but CY forgot to bring the cucumber, so she texted MI to help buy some. MI came with cucumber and 2 large packs of salad! We shared 1 pack and saved the other for next week. There was only 1 other time I'd had hummus, just before the covid pandemic. It's YUM! Since I'm looking for more ways to eat legumes and lentils to support the Palestinians in Gaza, I'll buy more hummus soon and find some ways to consume it more often.

Onto Friday's dinner, I grossly overate. 12 of us gathered at KY's favourite restaurant. They serve 1 of the most comforting double-boiled chicken soups with fish maw, red dates and tree ear mushrooms. Their steamed marble goby was remarkably fresh and tender and the tofu with mushrooms was a hit; ML had seconds because it was so yummy. We had such insane quantities of food that I skipped both first and second breakfasts the next day to reduce the bloating. At a time when thousands of people around the world struggle to put food on the table, I acknowledge my privilege.

Pa and I have revisited the Japanese restaurant which serves moderately healthy and delicious hotpot several times. It was Mummy's turn to visit. Instead of a hotpot each, we shared 1. I added salmon, a portion of veggies and udon, as well as spinach in sesame dressing to share since her appetite is smaller. Mummy adores hotpot so she loved everything, finished all her food and declared that she wants to revisit! I'm okay with that since I like vegetables and this restaurant serves generous portions. This high fibre meal was extremely filling; I had a light dinner of 2 ajitsuke tamago (ramen eggs) and a potato bun with hummus because it was all I could stomach.

It's Saturday. The weekend is once more upon us. It's been a long week and I'm very tired. We have an upcoming presentation to a client next week so it's been hectic. Apart from exercise, I just want to rest and catch up on sleep. I don't feel like talking or socialising much during this busy period. FL texted to catch up over lunch this week but I couldn't manage it. He was nice enough to wait till January, which I appreciated. Next year, CY wants to eat healthy with me on some days so I'll have to find a way to include high fibre lunches with her. Oh well, chuan dao qiao tou zi ran zhi (once the boat reaches the start of the bridge, the bridge will straighten). I'll see what I can do. 下次见!

[laurenetuttle]

Rhine River Cruise Day 3 (December 16th, 2024)

Today was a lovely day! Unfortunately, neither Liz nor I slept all that well last night. I slept for a couple of hours, but once the unisom wore off, I was kept waking up. I’m kept going back to sleep and then waking up and I’m pretty sure I was wide awake by 5:30 AM. Liz slept for a total of maybe three hours last night. That wind up actually getting out of bed around eight in the morning and getting ready for the day and having breakfast in the hotel. I I forgot to include in my blog post from yesterday that I straightened my hair with an adapter at the end of it. And the adapter got stuck in the plug in the bathroom. And I ended up having to ask for hotel maintenance to bring their pliers to pull it out of the wall. Super embarrassing. Did not stick the adapter back in the wall after that. After breakfast, we finished packing up all of our stuff and left it outside of our room. The hotel Porter came to pick up our stuff and store it for the day until we were going to leave for Basel. 

There were five of us from the group that signed up for the Mount Titlis tour. A giant bus came to pick the five of us up with our tour guide to drive us about 40 minutes to Engelberg. This means angel city. It was a stunning drive through the Swiss countryside over to the base of the mountain. Landscape is still just so green and it’s green all the way up the mountain until the snow line. It was absolutely fascinating. Once we got to the base in the mountain, we were already passed the snow line. I was a little bit worried about it being very cold at the top of 10,000 feet. So we had brought all of the layers. We hopped out of the bus and we hopped onto our first gondola ride. We rode the gondola about 2/3 of the mountain and then switched into something called a rotair. Which was a spinning gondola. This spun 360° very slowly so that it didn’t matter what side of the gondola you were on you could see views of every direction. We then made it to 10,000 feet and it was an absolutely stunning day. The guide kept saying how lucky we were to visit on a day like that. We could see 4 miles in each direction and there were no clouds. It was absolutely beautiful to be at a very high mountain in the middle of the Swiss Alps. It’s also a ski resort. So we saw lots of skiers and snowboarders. We also saw some paragliders, which was really fascinating. We went outside and took a lot of pictures. It wasn’t nearly as cold as I thought it was going to be. Particularly because we were standing in the sun and there wasn’t much wind. I ended up having to takeoff one of my four layers. We then walked over to the highest suspension bridge in Europe. And we crossed this see-through bottom suspension bridge 150 feet to the other side and then back. It actually wasn’t as scary as I thought it was going to be. but it did do a lot of swinging back-and-forth when people were walking really fast. We got lots of fun pictures and enjoyed the stunning views. After that, we then headed inside for lunch and had a beautiful view of the Swiss Alps while we were eating. Both Liz and I had goulash for lunch. Unfortunately, I managed to get it on my scarf and my sweatshirt. So the end of my sweatshirt is a little orange. And I tried to wash my sweatshirt in the sink when I got to the boat today. We will see if the stain comes out. After lunch, we walked into a cave drilled into the middle of an ancient glacier. That was pretty neat. They also had some ice sculptures in the cave as well. We then walked to the souvenir shop and then headed back down the mountain. We then took the 40 minute bus ride back through the countryside to Lucerne to pick up the rest of the people from Viking, who were going to be on our boat that did not join us for the tour today. We made sure that our luggage made it onto the bus and took a bathroom break, but then we headed out for Basel. I really enjoyed our time in Lucerne. Switzerland is very beautiful. There are lots of random Christmas trees out in public and random places and almost every business has an advent wreath. Everybody here is very nice. And a lot of people speak English, which was helpful. The Christmas markets are not super grand at least in Lucerne. But it’s still a very beautiful country. I would definitely love to come back.

The bus ride took us about an hour and a half to get from Lucerne to our ship in Basel. We got to the ship at around 5 PM. Because we got here so late we didn’t have time to explore the city or the Christmas markets here at all. But that’s OK cause we’re going to see so many great Christmas markets on this trip. Once we checked in, we got our luggage and unpacked in our room. We then had a safety drill. We also learned about that amenities on board and a port for tomorrow. We then headed into the restaurant for a lovely dinner. We sat with the most interesting couple at dinner. It was an older gentleman in his 60s from Australia and his 28 year-old Australian girlfriend. He owns some sort of billboard advertising business in Australia and is into a lot of different business adventures. It was quite the interesting dinner conversation. And I tried to beat and feta quinoa salad. We also had a spinach, ricotta ravioli. And dessert was a plum cake. Dinner ended up taking about two hours. During dinner the boat also went through the first lock so that was cool to watch. We are now in our room getting ready for bed. Both of us are exhausted after the full day today and not having had much sleep last night. Tomorrow will be another full day. Our excursion tomorrow will be about eight hours. But we’re both very excited.

[takeeachdayonebookatatime]

Why did you elbow me? 154

Achilles Castle part 56

Kate: pov the boys dropped me off at home afterwards, Castle is still up in his room writing he asks if I had a good time, I mention Greg was kinda being an ass but other than that it was okay. A waiter dropped a stack of plates and I flinched. I'm so tired, after helping Castle into bed I climb in and get comfortable. The boys ended up giving Greg the black licorice.

Kate: pov Oh crap i forgot i have a pulmonary check up with my lung Dr tomorrow. In the morning I shower and get dressed. I'm wearing a Gray t-shirt and black pants. I take my pills and grab some pre-made oatmeal from the fridge and quickly eat it. My appointment isn't until my lunch break, Castle Is still sleeping.

Ryan: pov I quietly get out of bed and get ready for work Jenny is very hormonal and wants to shower with me, I agree since it's early. While she gets herself and Sarah Grace ready for the day I quickly make a breakfast burrito type thing which tastes amazing.

Esposito: pov Lanie's phone is ringing. She has a dead body, we quickly shower together and get dressed before we leave. The both of us have a bagel and orange juice. Last night was amazing. I had no idea Lanie could do that stuff with her hands.

Kate: pov Lanie got a dead body this morning possible suicide, the boys are helping her by looking into the guys life since the family wants answers. I'm doing paperwork and making phone calls. On the way to my appointment I pick, up a smoothie. As I'm singing in at the Dr's office the receptionist mentions that my Dr is out sick and I have a fill in Dr. In the waiting room, which is packed, a little boy comes up to me and asks if I have asthma too. Actually, I don't. Something bad happened to me and my lung collapsed which means it wasn't working right so i'm here for a check up. The kid goes back to what he is watching on his device and the mother says sorry about that, It's okay.

Tracy: pov if you don't mind me asking how did your lung collapse, Kate says I was shot in the heart/chest at my Captain's funeral bullet nicked my inferior pulmonary vein and ventricle. I went into cardiac arrest 2 twice; I had a Tension pneumothorax on my left side requiring a chest tube to be inserted. She mentions they did an emergency thoracotomy on her, to gain access to the area. The trauma resulted in her going into vfib causing her to go into cardiac arrest during emergency surgery on her heart. They had to use the internal paddles and manual heart massages. Oh my, was there any lasting effects from your shooting. I know you probably have physical and emotional scars.

Kate: pov yes I have a heart condition and PTSD. Tracy tells me how her son was born with asthma. A few minutes later her name and mine is being called by 2 nurses. The nurse named Erin has me stand on the scale to be weighed, she then takes me to an exam room and checks my vitals and asks me how I've been feeling.

Erin: pov so Kate have you had an shortness of breath or trouble breathing while doing normal things or running, no okay that is great the Dr should be in shortly to check you over. You're also getting some tests done today.

Kate: pov a few minutes a young looking Dr walks in the room and introduces himself as Dr Fenton. He opens my folder so we can go over a few things. He says I understand from your medical records that you had some chest trauma in the past causing you to develop a heart condition, during your trauma you had a collapsed lung. Yes I was shot at my Captain's funeral. The bullet nicked my left inferior pulmonary vein causing Tension pneumothorax on the left side of my chest requiring a chest tube to be inserted. The Bullet also grazed my left ventricle causing me to bleed into my heart causing a cardiac tampon. They had to do an emergency thoracotomy on me, to gain access to the area and save my life. The trauma resulted in me going into ventricular fibrillation causing me to then go into cardiac arrest again during my emergency heart surgery. They had to use the internal paddles and manual heart massages to bring me back.

Dr Fenton: pov Kate i’m going to listen to your heart and lungs. Everything sounds good with your lungs, are you having any shortness of breath or other symptoms. No only when you have a heart episode or a PTSD episode. Okay that is fine, actually normal, we have to be careful because shortness of breath could be a severe side effect of your heart condition. Okay I'm going to need you to breathe into this so I can check your lung function. Everything seems okay with your lungs, how are you sleeping at night, not the best. Okay any trouble breathing at night, no. Okay that's good to hear, I want you to get a sleep study just to be on the safe side. Your weight is on the low side but not a big concern, since you have a lot of dietary restrictions. You're scheduled for an ultrasound of your left lung /pulmonary vein today.

Nurse Erin: pov if you come this way Kate I can take you to the room the technician is doing the ultrasound in. Shirt and bra come off, I can give you a gown to cover up with.

Kate: pov The technician is a guy named Lance. He is new here, the cold gel is squirted on my chest by Erin the nurse. Lance moves the wand over my lung and pulmonary vein. I have scar tissue from my shooting and my surgery. Next is the treadmill. I have to run on the treadmill for a few minutes while being monitored.

Nurse Erin: pov so far everything looks good with your lungs, Dr Fenton is looking over your ultrasound right now you should have the results in a few minutes.

Dr Fenton: pov back in the exam room I tell Kate her lungs look good, she has some scar tissue on her pulmonary vein which may need to be removed down the line. Do you need a refill on your inhaler? no, you're good. Okay see you in a few months. To be continued. …….

[thatsjaicafoodblog]

My Common Table: Saturday’s Feast!

What It Looks Like To Be Hungry In College Life..... Clinician’s Life.

I am Jaica, but my friends call me Jeks. I’m an Optometry Clinician, meaning I’m in my 5th year in Optometry. 6 day class in a week is a usual life among all of us. My life’s cycle goes: online classes - activities - due dates - working on our thesis - looking for patients - case revalida. Repeat! Quite draining right? I need to have my energy every single day, and by saying ENERGY, I mean FOOD. 

Let me share my food diary today. 

On the 20th day of May, Saturday. I woke up 6 am in the morning with a heavy feeling. No energy dong clinician’s duties. I just want to lay on my bed with my blanket on. Who wants to go to school on Saturdays? I guess, I’m not the only one. 

This is an instant coffee, most of the time, I prefer to make my own coffee. I would like my coffee to be strong and not too sweet. Just like me! ;) 

With a heavy heart, I decided to proceed and starts my day. I’m not really a coffee lover, I didn’t drink coffee at all, not until I met my boyfriend. Our usual bonding when we’re both free is driving to Tanay, Rizal to have coffee adventure. 

The Not-So-Healthy College Students Breakfast Meal Starter Pack  

Together with my coffee, I prepared my own breakfast. It’s a long day today, so I need to have my rice breakfast. I had my Tender Juicy hotdog boiled first. I learned this from my mom, to remove the excess red coloring from the hotdog. Honestly, this brand used to me by favorite but lately the taste is starting to change and I don’t like it. I also had my small piece of chicken from yesterday. To add flavor to my overall breakfast, I had my UFC banana catsup. I prefer tomato catsup more than banana because I don’t like my catsup to be sweet but I had no choice :P 

AFTER 3-HOURS DUTY WITH MY 3 PATIENTS. I finally got back to my condo. 

At the corner of this street is my go-to eatery. A budget meal indeed! 

Before I went up to my unit, I decided to have my lunch here. I really don’t know what is the store’s name neither the owner. I just call him “Kuya” whenever I eat here. 

“Pa order po isang menudo po with siomai rice, add po ako ng mountain dew”

For my lunch, I had siomai rice with chili garlic, menudo with 4 pcs of potatos and a mountain dew. I don’t recall the break down of prices but I paid 90 pesos. Not bad. But I must say the taste was also “not bad”. The food was cheap and intended to cater students in a tight budget, construction workers, tricycle drivers etc. I know this because most of the time, these are the people that I’m eating with. 

I went up to my unit and decided to sleep before doing my school works and pending case revalidas. I set up my alarm to 3:30 pm, to get started with my agenda. 

Surprise! not a tub of fish or meat. An Ice cream combination of Double Dutch and Rocky Road

I don’t know with you guys, but personally, I have my comfort food. Whenever I feel stress and feel happy. Ice cream saves the day! and to lighten up the day. I ate an ice cream that I bought a week ago. Since I am the only one living here, as of today, you can’t expect me to finish this 1.3 L. Or can I? 

What’s your favorite flavor of Ice cream? - Me, I must say that anything with nuts. I obsessed with nuts. I prefer my chocolates and ice cream to have nuts because I personally believed that, If I eat these without nuts, IT’S BORING AND NOT FULFILLING AT ALL. 

Ice cream is cheaper than therapy. 

After an hour of doing my works. Refrigerator was my friend again. I don’t know who owned this but I think one of my cousin left here this yesterday and I’m glad she did! 

Another Target Unlocked. From The Baked Sushi Factory - Salmon x Scallops

This is the first time I have tasted baked sushi with scallops and it was delicious. Also the dried seaweeds (violet packaging) I often eat the other brand with green packaging, I forgot the name of it. Everything were perfectly balanced. I don’t always eat baked sushi because this is so expensive, especially for me that I have budget allowance. So I only get that chance to eat this when my cousin ordered one or we have special occasion. 

With the help of my tripod and phone camera timer. I got these shots. Thanks Self. <3

Today seems a feast for me. It’s Saturday. I think I deserve this. 

Speaking of Saturday, in our family every now and then we practice unplanned family dinner or lunch. Since I am the only niece here in Manila, I was not able to join them with our family dinner. And aside from having dinner, they also celebrated the send off party of my eldest cousin before going to London. She already got her visa approved! 

Since I was not present in their celebration, my auntie decided to just send me foods from the restaurant through lalamove so that i can also experienced their dinner. 

DEAN & DELUCA  - King Crab Pasta and New York Burger and Fries

I was so happy with my last meal for today. The moment I tasted the pasta, it felt really good because it was tomato based and family knows me as someone who likes the pasta to be sour and not sweet. The bread also compliments to the taste of the pasta. This is the first time to eat Dean & Deluca and I must say this pasta was real good. The burger and fries seem normal to me, nothing special or am i being biased because burger is really not appetizing for me. But still, I finished them all because the prices were also real good. This 2 meals cost them 1,460.00 and that is closer to my 1 week allowance. But the pasta was good so I think it’s worth it. 

It was a day full of blessings. Others may say that I eat too much, but who cares. I can afford it and not wasting any food. Eating healthy meals such as carbs, proteins, veggies and fruits make my day. It helps me function properly and think wisely throughout the day, especially during tight schedules. 

Today was really a great day for me. I am so thankful that I am able to afford and eat these foods. I am also grateful to my family for letting me taste these foods by giving me allowance every week. 

If you have a chance, always share your blessings. 

[no-droids]

Home

gif credit: @javier-pena

Part Eighteen of the Rough Day Series

Rating: Explicit

Word Count: 19.5K

Warnings: SMUT, religion kink (maybe?), squirting, consensual stalking/pursuing, canon-typical violence, mention of underage drinking, uhh I believe that’s it but as always, let me know if I’ve forgotten anything please!

A/N: Hey yall!!!  So I know this chapter has been a long time coming and though I’m not completely satisfied with it, I hope it brings a little happiness to you for an hour or two while you read!  School has been kicking my ass and I’ve been in a bit of an emotional slump recently, but I pulled a few all-nighters to post this on time and it’s finally finished!  Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and sent me encouraging words over the past month or so, I hope you enjoy the end of the Sanctuary arc💕

Also like last time, part 2 of my collaboration with @followwhereshegoes will be posted after the chapter!!  As a reminder, sweet girl is a reader insert and every imagining of her will be different—this is Lisa’s interpretation of her and her artwork is absolutely gorgeous, so please go give her a follow!

Day 5–11:13am:

You zone out again in the early morning, but that happens a lot.  Din always keeps you up so late, all the time, and without any caf here, the rising sun just makes your eyes droop instead of flutter brighter and wider.  You helped a bunch of younglings find their way into their robes when it was still dark out, tying sashes and fitting masks while holding back your yawns.  The walk into Nariss is close to three hours, probably more with all these tiny little legs, and you almost forget to change into your new digs before everyone grabs breakfast.

Even though your ragtag entourage leaves for Nariss just as soon as everyone finishes eating, you don’t reach the city until nearly lunchtime.  Mostly because the kids walk about as fast as the elderly holy women chaperoning the trip.  You and Naydee lag behind the group, forcing yourself to meander slow as fuck when you nearly sprinted this same exact path just a few days ago.  On the way there, you listen to children of all sorts sing happily as they walk, chatter about their excitement for the parade, complain about wearing the fabric mask they made themselves, and more than once, somebody takes a tumble onto the ground and is left in teary sniffles and dirt stained clothes.  Likely for this reason, the robes are designed to be two pieces—a long tunic with a hood and a separate pants portion to prevent tripping instead of a draping skirt, but the smallest ones are clumsy and find a way to fall anyways.

It’s a colorful bunch—a chaotic rainbow of babies running around, and you share easy conversation with your new friend about the plans for the day until she asks something that makes you nearly trip and join the dirty robe club.

“Sister Drya said your family is meeting you in the city,” she tells you, ignoring your immediate subtle toe stub and the awkward shuffle you have to do to make up for it.  “There’s going to be lots of people downtown, I’m worried it might be hard for them to find you.”

Your heart thuds in your chest and you feel a bit short of breath at being abruptly confronted with the need to lie, but at the same time, you kind of love it.  Having a secret, hiding the truth from others, and just the reminder that you’re almost guaranteed to see Din and the baby before midnight pours warmth and tingles through your tummy.  Everything together is a hit of spice, filling you with a kind of excitement that used to be foreign to you.  Having fun, experiencing new things isn’t quite over yet, but home is calling and you miss it with every fiber of your being.

“I don’t think so,” you eventually respond, hoping she can see your kind smile and the sentiment it carries even as light, shimmery fabric wraps right around your mouth.  “If I disappear, you’ll know why.”

Naydee’s eyes crinkle in the corners to match yours.  “Hopefully you’ll be able to see the fireworks first,” she nudges you, her skin glowing against the pale cream fabric she has wrapped around her own mouth and the hood laying delicately over her braids.  “They start at eight.”

The fireworks, you almost forgot.  You know what?  Today is a good day.  You hear yourself think the full sentence multiple times, and the words put a spring in your step after every single one.  The road gradually becomes wider and filled with more travelers, and you feel safe in the back.  Like some kind of sheepdog bringing up the rear of this migrating cluster of children, making sure none of them drift off by themselves and start eating grass or something.

Surprisingly, the kids manage to be relatively patient and well-behaved once they’re in line at the gates.  The Sisters shuffle them along one by one as everyone moves up slowly, taking even longer to get into the city than it did a few days ago.  The entrance is packed already—so many people visiting for the festival, and they’re all dressed in costumes or robes of sorts, or at least a mask.  Most are beautifully crafted, but some manage to look slightly scary even with the soft springtime color schemes.  It’s a completely different world, a different life for each person as you pass them by.  Your stomach is starting to growl by the time you finally make it to the front, and luckily the guards just let the kids through without any ceremony.  Just you and the rest of the caretakers in light robes need to hold still for the retinal scan, matching each other perfectly except for differing shades of fabric, skin, and eye color.  Once the gates open for you and you step through, though… it’s… Maker.

Extravagant, magnificent are both words.  Floral is another.

It’s like they hung up bouquets wherever they could think to fit them, and this is just the edge of the city.  As the group moves through the streets and closer to downtown, it becomes more and more overwhelming.  The air itself is a warm fragrance wafting all around you, sunshiney and breezy and perfect, flowers of all kinds lining the modern buildings and archways like they were planted there from the very beginning and it just took this long to bloom between the cracks in the concrete.  You wish you had names for all of them so you could list them—the only thing you can offer is the color and vague descriptions of the ones that stick out to you.  Tiny yellow ones that are so small, they need to be bunched all together in massive quantities to even resemble normal flowers.  Up overhead, elaborate arrangements of enormous blue and purple and pink ones, wrapping around each other and hanging down from rooftops.  Some don’t even have petals, it’s like they’re big green cups that are big enough to hold things inside them.  You’re fascinated by every single one, wanting to stop and smell them all individually but needing to keep up with the large group and not allow any stragglers to be left behind, including yourself.

About an hour later, when you’re almost in the middle of the city and there are people everywhere, it’s time to eat lunch.  There isn’t much to it because of how expensive it is, and you’d normally feel bad for accepting the small meal each one of the children gets, but you donated all of your credits to the Keja and left absolutely zero for yourself.  Good intentions, terrible idea.  Still, you pull your mask down and snack on some deliciously fried food, trying not to eye anyone else’s platter after you finish yours.  It’s so good and it’s gone in an instant; you couldn’t even say what exactly it was besides which stall you got it at.  Whether it’s just the brilliant atmosphere or if the food on this moon is really just that good, you’re not really sure, but you’re still slightly hungry afterwards with no extra money to sneak a snack.

Soon after, the kids all line up to get their faces painted, or whatever portion of their face is visible behind the cloth masks and hoods they’ve got on, and music blares from at least four different directions and none of the songs are even in the same language.  Depending on the part of town, it seems like the celebrations are all different.  It makes sense, considering most if not all of these individuals were victims of the Empire’s wrath, spread far and wide across the galaxy.  Here, they’re free, and they want everyone to know it.  Spring festivals of some sort are likely common for most cultures, at least those from planets with seasons, not like Arvala-7 where it was arid and hot year-round, and you’re assuming there are multiple things being celebrated today depending on which street you live on.  There’s chanting in different tongues, dancing and drums, outfits and masks from different cultures every single time you look.

At some point, the children spot a crowded street with flowery rails set up all along them, and you stand behind the tiny heads while everyone waits for the parade to begin.  You think your heart has just been beating slightly faster than normal all day today, but when you finally hear the sound of sirens blaring in the distance and cheers begin to pour out from the gathered crowd, it kicks up and you feel like you’re just as wide eyed at the spectacle as the waist-high babies all huddled together up against the railing.

A flurry of people and things pass in slow succession.  First, New Republic officers with their blaring holobikes, bright orange as always.  Then come large groups of people walking behind banners in languages you can’t read, some of them waving, some of them making different sounds and songs.  Bands marching in formation, dancers in dresses and masks and gorgeous flowers in their hair like crowns, and then brilliant hovering vehicles decorated in bright colors and festive depictions.  The craftsmanship and cultural significance is stunning to witness, it’s so insanely loud, there’s so much going on, and yet…

Through it all, you think of Din.  No matter the faces, the sights you see.  There’s someone juggling.  There’s either a very tall man and woman walking together or they’re both on stilts.  There are enormous balloons being led through the air, people are riding atop an assortment of animals you’ve never seen before, there are traditional costumes and spectacular stunts being performed.  Stalls with games and prizes line the stretches of concrete on the cross streets, people are laughing and celebrating and drinking in equal parts, everything is so lively and festive and fun, and yet, though it all, you think of Din.  Him and the baby, they’re always in the forefront of your mind, occupying your thoughts and making your tummy stir more and more as the time passes like the parade in front of you.  You don’t think this environment would ever be his favorite, and in some far away galaxy, perhaps if you lived other lives together and called a beautiful moon exactly like this home, then you might have to drag him out to see all the with you and the kid every year.  You’d have to bat your eyelashes and kiss his cheek and snuggle up to him all nice and pretty like, and he’d probably grumble and complain about it while wrapping his arms around you—all the people and the noise, sweet girl—but he’d go.  For you, he’d go.

Your thoughts suddenly stop short and you blink for a second.  Why… Why was that scene so vivid?  So wistful?  You used to preoccupy yourself with fantasies about Din all the time, back before you even knew him as Din.  But in every single one, it was sexual and likely came from a place of boredom, a lack of external stimulation.  Here you are amidst bustling surroundings, and you’re daydreaming about domesticity with him.  Why?  You want to travel the galaxy, right?  You want to see things you’ve never seen before, right?

For some reason, you think of the floor, and you miss it.

***

Day 5—5:04pm:

It’s late afternoon at this point and nobody can find the teens.

More people have made their way into the city and it’s starting to get extremely fucking crowded, especially where you are downtown, and the handful of them must’ve slipped away with all the excitement happening and how difficult it is to keep the young ones together now that the parade is over.  You don’t know how long they’ve been gone—one second they were walking around just slightly detached from the rest of you, you assumed because the boisterous younglings fucked with their cool vibe, and then the next Naydee is gasping out to you that they’re gone.

“Sister Drya is going to kill me,” she hisses, her dark eyebrows furrowed in self-admonishment and stress.  So many fucking people here, you know her pain.  “I was supposed to be chaperoning them, they were just here—”

She shakes her head under the loose, cream-colored hood, groaning and then speeding up her gait to catch up with the woman in charge, but you decide to grab her wrist before she can relay the bad news.  

“I can go find them,” you offer, speaking as low as you can with the blaring noise surrounding you.  “Before anyone knows they’re missing.  Is there a way to convince everybody to stay in one spot for a little while?  You won’t get in trouble, but I need to know how to find you again.”

Naydee’s eyes widen in surprise, and even though it’s likely a bit out of character for you, you have a feeling it’ll be a deceptively easy task.  Even with the masses right now and how atrociously big this city is, you already have a general idea of where they’re likely to be.  Besides, you’re not even sure your absence will be noticed if Naydee is the only one who figured out the teens were gone—the other Sisters can thrive without you while missing anyone else would be noticeable, and you owe your new friend a thousand favors for helping you out these past few days.  The least you can do is save her from the scolding of one of the scariest old ladies you've ever met.

“Be as quick as you can,” she finally agrees.  It’s a lot of trust to put into you, but you’ve had experience in reading the most unreadable man in the entire galaxy, some teenagers shouldn’t pose too much of a problem.  “If you’re not back in thirty minutes or somebody notices, I’ll have to say something.”

You nod, silently breaking away from the group without another word.  You think you can hear her announce to everyone that it might be best to eat dinner now to skip any long lines later—smart—but you’re out of their hearing range and line of sight almost immediately.

***

Day 5–5:17pm:

“Really?”  You raise an eyebrow since they won’t be able to see the way your mouth is twisted up underneath your mask, crossing your arms and tapping your foot against the ground to further illustrate just how not fucking impressed you are.

Seven teenagers freeze, and slowly—depending on how much bravery they can individually muster—they turn around on their stools to face you.  The atmosphere in the tavern is bustling and cheery, booze being passed around a large crowd that laughs and mingles, but your vibe is stone cold and quiet.  The contrast doesn’t feel wrong on you like it normally would; the negative and disapproving energy you’re emitting makes you feel powerful, untouchable, armored and strong.

“How did you find us so fast?”  One of the twin boys squeaks out behind a light blue robe, sounding worried.

“Had a hunch,” you grumble, glaring sternly at each of them in turn.  Your tone is dry, your voice sits lower in your throat when you’re pissed off.  All you had to do was look for the closest bar that doesn’t have any orange jumpsuits poking around waiting to card underage younglings, it wasn’t that difficult.  “You’re not exactly unpredictable.”

“Are you gonna rat us out?”  The other twin asks you, in a voice that’s oddly deep compared to his brother.

“I should,” you snap, quickly reaching out to push their drinks away.  “I should let Sister Drya rain down her holy fury on your asses, got good people all twisted up over you for nothing and I’m missing dinn—”

You don’t know why, but you suddenly cut yourself off and jerk upright, spinning around.

The sounds of glasses clinking and boisterous voices fill the bar, but they seem to fade out for a second.  Your eyes fly around the crowded space, your heart lodged in your throat and looking for anything reflective.  Every flash you see is a false alarm—belt buckle, wristwatch, cocktail shaker—

He’s here… isn’t he?

Only, there’s nothing.  Nothing is out of place, nothing jumps out at you the way you’re assuming it will.  You’re braced taut and ready to bolt at the first sign of a chase, but it never comes.

It’s so… unexpected, this feeling.  It’s not like you’re being hunted anymore, but instead, you’re the hunter.  You’re feeling the weight of him from this far away and it’s like he’s calling for you to come find him, teasing the wild adrenaline rush you get from just feeling his presence, as if he absolutely knows it happens.  Whispering soft in your ear and then vanishing the second you’re able to turn around, like he’s here but he’s not.  Playing with you from so far away.

This… this is a taunt.  

The whole thing at the inn was leagues below this, that was rudimentary.  Teasing, getting even, having fun with each other, whatever you want to call that, that’s what it was.  This is scarily sophisticated.  Fluid and practiced and the best kind of frightening, stark and dangerous compared to the carefree and upbeat setting surrounding you.  You’re not making it up, it’s not just you being paranoid.  You know him with your eyes closed.  You know he’s here somewhere watching you, just like you know the starlight that streaks across the pitch black horizon of hyperspace.  Not because you can see it, not really, not directly.  But because by it, even in the vastest and darkest and emptiest of voids, you’re suddenly able to see everything else.

“You okay, Nerida?”

The volume gradually comes back up and you blink, suddenly remembering where you are, who else is with you.  The chatter becomes slightly louder than it seemed before.

“Yeah,” you eventually say, slightly airy while continuing to stare emptily at the crowded room.  He’s not here, you don’t think, not anymore at least.  But you’re not stupid, you know what this means.  You’re already caught, there’s nothing you can conceivably do that will delay the reunion for the next—you look down and pull the loose sleeve up to check your communicator—seven fucking hours, there’s no way.  He’ll pull back and follow you, keep up with you from a distance and then snatch you away right when you let your guard down.  You at least need to get the kids back to their guardians before that can happen, though.

“Let’s go,” you quietly tell the group of foundlings, grabbing elbows and hauling them out of their stools.  “Naydee was the only one who knew that you were gone when I left.  Here’s to hoping she managed to keep it that way.”

***

Day 5–5:32pm:

Against all odds, you’re able to rally the wayward teens and successfully lead them through shoulders that are beginning to move closer together as the crowd grows and grows.  You stay towards the back and don’t look behind you once—not only do you not want to give the younglings an unnecessary reason to become paranoid or to question your actions, but you can still feel Din lingering.  Moving like a shadow, probably fitting in perfectly with the masked festival-goers, nothing drawing any attention to him with all the spectacular sights and noise occurring.

Soon you return to the same spot from before, and you and the teenagers seamlessly integrate yourselves back into the rest of the group without anyone noticing a thing is out of place.  When you move to stand beside her, Naydee’s bone-deep sigh of relief is palpable even behind the concealing fabric; she squeezes your hand incredibly tight in a silent gesture of thanks, and then pulls something from the deep pockets of her robe and passes it to you sneakily.  A purple fruit.  She must’ve saved it for you.

Maker, fuck yes.  It’s not much but it’s more dinner than any of the seven troublemakers get, but Naydee quietly assures you they’ll be able to eat something once they return to the Keja around midnight, just not the tasty expensive treats they’re selling at the vendors.  As the sun goes down, you try not to stain your pretty fabric a deep maroon as you chomp and feel your lips start to curl upwards.  It sounds so fucking stupid when you put it like this, but you keep going back to Din and revelling in knowing that he’s so close, like you’re just mentally checking in on him.  You don’t get the sensation by thinking, though—more like you just focus really hard on your heart and feel him there just a second afterwards.

Is that how pure, stupid, shameless love feels when you’re completely entrenched in it?  It’s not like it’s surrounding you, it’s not suffocating you or making you float.  It’s just a thing.  Like… a thing inside your chest, a physical thing you can search for and find, something you can point to on your body and say it’s right here, this is where my love for him lives.  Right at the bottom of your heart, right where it curves and beats strong when other hearts meet flat at sharp angles.  You do it over and over again, reconfirming its existence every single time.  You don’t know what else you’d call it.  Love is the only word.  To love, to know.  To hold in the heart.

Soon, you start to notice that people are slowly moving around your stationary group.  You look up and watch the crowd begin to walk, some of them giving soft smiles to the cute children as they pass by, but all of them following the same unspoken direction.

“Where is everyone going?”  You ask Naydee, standing on your tiptoes to watch the crowd migrate like a giant system, an organism or mechanism of thousands (or tens of thousands?) of smaller moving parts all traveling in tandem.  It’s fascinating—you’ve been to crowded places, you know what it looks like when a lot of people are packed into one area, but you’ve never seen what it looks like when they all move together.  They would normally be bumping into each other, slipping in between, fighting and never really getting anywhere, interacting individually and thinking separately.  Now they’re progressing in one single direction, so many with the same mindset and understanding of what comes next.  A second parade, almost, with New Republic officers directing the flow of pedestrians as they pass.

“The eastern part of the city!”  Naydee yells over the noise and points, and beyond her extended finger, you can barely see the light of a dusky body of water in the distance beyond the buildings.  “The fireworks are going to go off over the bay, but it takes awhile to get there!”

“Is…”  You blink for a second, suddenly caught off guard, trying to think back to the holomap the concierge pulled up at the front desk of the inn.  Surely you would’ve noticed it, but your sudden childlike hope makes you ask anyway.  “Is it part of an ocean?”

Naydee shakes her head.  “A really big lake!”

Your shoulders drop just the slightest bit in disappointment but still, you ache to see it.  You can’t even imagine—the fireworks are likely going to reflect across the water, giving everyone double the view.  And luckily, after all the children and caretakers are individually accounted for, you start to behind the slow-moving crowd towards the docks you know lie beyond.  

Naydee scurries ahead to keep the kids together, ushering them forward and preventing any drunk passer-bys from accidentally stepping on them, and you quietly bring up the very rear of the entourage.  You take the time to observe more than anything, walk in the back and experience instead of trailblaze.  So many people, so many stories to be told, so many differences and diversity around you.  Your face is partially concealed and you don’t move your head too much, just your eyes.  They flick around to take in everything, the crowd thinning little by little as you make it out of the confined space downtown.  You’re able to make out full bodies and outfits again instead of just heads and shoulders, allowing you to breathe just a bit easier under your mask.

And then at one point—and it’s almost a little startling because it happens all at once—the organizers must decide that the sun has officially gone down, because the lights come on.  All of a sudden, paper lanterns and bulbs flicker into existence all around you and the world decides it wants to glow, glint and twinkle from the inside out.  They’re everywhere, draping across rooftops and tangled around street signs and stuffed into the flower bouquets overhead, raining soft colors down on everything.  You’re in complete awe, trying to keep walking but also needing to look at as much as fucking possible in the suddenly luminescent city.  It’s so colorful, so vernal and warm and you feel like you’re… Like when you took a shower on the Crest for the first time and spent a few happy moments just playing with the water and soap for your own enjoyment, it’s as if all the brilliant rainbow of colors the bubbles would make under the fluorescent light decided to surround you at the same time.  You’re inside stained glass, blinking at the flowers and wondering if Din can even smell the air or if it’s filtered, processed and reduced to nothing under the helmet.

And that’s when you see him.

But with the way your chest rapidly constricts and you can count your heart beats as they pound, blaring white noise through your ears and adrenaline through your veins, it’s like he's just allowing it to happen.  You immediately understand that you don’t have fucking anything the second your eyes land on him; this isn’t a heads up that you caught wind of early, it’s not a gift or an advantage you’ve incidentally gained over him that you should be thankful for.  Being able to see him directly like this, being able to make out all these fucking details from this far away…  This just feels like you’re being informed of the endgame right before it comes.  If you were anyone else, if you were a real bounty and this was a real hunt, his armor glinting and reflecting the lanterns overhead would feel like a knife you're about to be on the wrong side of.

You have a decision to make, very quickly.  Either keep in this same direction, head straight towards him and just pretend like you are who you’re dressed as, a random caretaker for a bunch of rowdy foundlings during a spring festival on Nariss, or disappear.  Drop back, move through the crowd and use the distance you have between you right now as your only hope of getting away in time.  Neither one gives you a particular advantage—your chances of being caught have already skyrocketed exponentially just being able to see the reflection in his armor, the hovering shield at his side with big black eyes… staring directly at you.

You almost trip over your pantlegs, gasping.  Baby.  He beams at you and you think he calls out through the passing crowd, his tiny arms extending out, and your chest feels like you’re pulling organs as if they were muscles, cramping up and seizing with emotion.  You want to run to them even though you’re meant to be running from them, call out over the noise and wave even though you’re not supposed to.  You want to hold the kid again, squish his little forehead with kisses, walk around with Din’s hand pressed against your lower back and see the fireworks with him.

Your hands clutch at the draping fabric covering your chest, pulling and twisting it uncertainly.  What do you do, what do you do?

No matter what, you know it’s over.  Keep your head down and try to move past him, or break away from your group and try to escape—both are different paths that lead to the same result.  What’s the point of running when he’s the one chasing you?  The heart-pounding thrill is the only reason you’re even considering it, but his body stands so tall amongst the crowd, not moving while people ebb and flow like a river passing around him.

Except then you can hear his voice repeat the last thing he said to you in person as if he says it directly into the comm in your ear.  When you do see me… try to outrun.

You should run—run, it’s better than just hoping he doesn’t see you when you already know he does.

Unless…

Out of a trillion different possibilities, you soon realize that there is exactly one situation in which this could turn out in your favor.  You can immediately picture the scenario in your mind, but there’s just too many variables to conceivably rely on getting them all right.  This maybe has a… two percent chance of working?  Maybe?  Everything would have to go perfectly, just fucking flawlessly, but what other choice do you have?  Two percent is better than whatever odds you’re dealing with now.

You walk silently behind the group of foundlings as you approach closer and closer, keeping your head purposefully down as they skip and giggle and dance ahead.  He knows you’re here—he has to know, you’re counting on him knowing.  Walk right in front of him, pretend like you don’t see, make sure you keep left.  Keep left, keep left, keep your head down, keep your head down—

A leather glove suddenly catches hold of your wrist hard enough to tug you backwards.

Your gasp is audible over the sound of the crowd and you spin around, jerking your head up to look at him in fear.  Your heart slams as the beskar reflects your mask and hood back at you—you’re terrified and it shows, you can see it in your eyes.

You quickly try to yank your hand away, even as your index finger stretches up towards the communicator around his wrist.

“Miss Nerida?”  A child’s voice cries, and then small hands grab at you from behind as you bury the urge to actually fight him.  Your instincts are demanding you attack when his grip is this strong, but you just whine and struggle, slapping weakly at him with your free hand and feeling more of the younglings begin to pull at you, their high pitched voices calling more and more attention to the scene.

Your gaze flicks to the side, suddenly landing on a pair of New Republic officers helping direct the thousands of moving bodies from the closest street corner.  They’re looking at you, pointing and beginning to speak into their own comm units.  Din’s helmet snaps sideways to follow your gaze, and then he’s immediately dropping your wrist and stepping back, retreating as quickly as he caught you.  Though you don’t want to—though you don’t want to give yourself away even more, you want to pretend fully that he was a complete stranger and the children were right to try to help you get away—your eyes fall to your son in the hovering crib by his side and you feel yourself crumble just a bit.

Just a few more hours, kid.  A few more hours.

Children pull you away while your pursuers both disappear into the crowd, and you quickly turn to soothe the tiny babies instead of chasing after the one you miss so terribly.

“I’m alright,” you tell them, scooting them up and encouraging them to continue walking.  Blend in, blend in, don’t let anybody think anything is wrong.  “Come on, we’re fine, come on, we have to catch up.”

They take your lead as soon as one of the caretakers turns around and sees the small group crowding around you.  You think she asks what happened, but you just tell her a man mistook you for someone else and nothing more comes of it.  She’s able to settle the chaos better than you are, and by the time you’re continuing to travel forwards once more like nothing happened, the communicator suddenly flicks on in your ear.

“What did you do?”  He breathes out, his footsteps moving fast through his voice.  He’s traveling much quicker than you expected—is he still being followed?  The officers are gone from your sight, they might be going after him right now, weaving between bodies and calling out to the perpetually vanishing glint of armor as he navigates his way out of danger.

You look down at the comm on your wrist and your heart nearly soars with victory.  It worked.  It worked.  You just have to outlast a bit longer, don’t draw any extra attention to it—he’s preoccupied and he certainly doesn’t sound happy, but you hope that’ll be enough to make him slip.  Use his frustration to your advantage, let him think the only thing you were successful at was momentarily escaping him.

“The cops weren’t part of the plan,” you admit quietly, keeping your head down as your loose hood billows in the twilight breeze.  “Don’t get caught.”

There’s a few moments of just his breathing, his footsteps, and the noise floor humming through the comm, before he finally responds.  “You look beautiful.”

You stare unseeingly down at the concrete under your feet, still feeling your hand tingle from where he caught you.  The line abruptly mutes on his end and you just keep moving forward, onward, wanting to look back but knowing he’s already long gone.

***

Day 5–5:24pm:

Din is fucking furious.

He had you.  You were right there, right in front of him, and even if he hadn’t been subtly trailing you all day, seeing the red footsteps get covered and flicker out of existence just a few moments after you make them, he would’ve recognized you anywhere.  In black and white, in the fading light, with your face covered, children calling you by a different name and attaching themselves to you like they’ve known you forever—doesn’t matter, he would’ve known you.  Your eyes have always given you away, always so expressive and starry and soft, but able to see right through solid steel whenever you look at him.

But then you slipped from his grasp, and then more guards pushed him further and further away from you.  They must all be in constant communication, because every single jumpsuit he sees immediately spots him and starts following.  It’s fucking exhausting, and he thinks of you the whole time.

He waits in a dark alley with the kid and taps the side of the helmet a few times to bring up the time on his comm, but then relaxes just slightly when he sees the hour.  It’s earlier than he thought it was, he’ll be able to find you again.

Though, something tugs at him while he’s looking at the clock ticking away in front of his eyes, counting down each second that passes.  There was… a moment.  Back in the square, when he was holding onto you again, when you were looking directly into his once more—everything in his helmet— 

No, he shakes his head while the kid looks up at him curiously, it can’t be.  It was just a split second, it was gone so fast.

But he can’t get rid of it.  Though there’s no explanation, he thinks the display screen flickered.  The sky behind you looked different for a single frame, your footsteps weren’t bright red and visible anymore, your eyes weren’t grey and he stopped wondering what shade of fabric you and your friend decided to choose for you to wear.  It was silvery, he’s almost certain.  Like his armor, it only reflected the color of everything around it.

Color.  Everywhere.  Bursting for a blink of an eye, and then gone just as quick, before he could actually figure out what it really meant.

***

Day 5–6:59pm:

This water is quiet here, but it sparkles.

It doesn’t ever really get truly dark thanks to the enormous hanging moon and ringed gas giant dancing with Sanctuary II, constantly reflecting light back onto the surface and reacting with some of the trace chemicals up above the atmosphere, and you think the sky just might be the prettiest you’ve ever seen it.  Must have something to do with the equinox, the glimmering angles of light being played with by celestial bodies in this stunning system, but it’s a dream.  The Maker apparently couldn’t decide which colors he wanted tonight so he just splashed all of them together all at once, let them run and blend like ink in the gentle water below, like the various people who call this moon home.

That view in front of you, coupled with all the flowers and lanterns lining the streets behind you, and you’ve lost track of time the exact same way you hoped Din would.  You think you’ve stood for about an hour or so in this one spot, half-listening to excited chatter from the babies, mostly just gazing across the stretch of water and being able to just barely spot the docks in the distance, but it feels like it’s only been minutes.

You check your watch—the fireworks should be starting any second now.  You don’t know what to expect, just that in your experience, explosions tend to be loud.  You've decided you’re not going to plug your ears, though.  Tummy twisting with nerves and another inexplicable feeling you can’t quite put your finger on, you resolve to experience the unknown exactly the way it’s meant to be.  Fully, without worry or fear.

Then, lacking any warning or ceremony whatsoever, a single flare launches silent and high from one of the small boats skimming the bay, and the crowd seems to hold its collective breath as the dim light disappears into thin air for a split second, before—

It’s… quite possibly the most dazzling thing you think you’ve ever seen.  So shamelessly decorative just for the sake of it, not serving any other practical purpose besides celebration and visual spectacle, and you’ll probably never know another extravagance like it.  You grew up with dust pelting against tired eyes, you never thought they’d get to reflect such gorgeous bursts of color back up at the sky, glassy and childlike amongst a group of equally wide-eyed children.

As expected, a deafening boom follows closely behind the singular display, but just witnessing it is incredible enough to make you forget to brace yourself for the sound and you jump almost violently in response.  There comes a loud cheer from the people standing around you, a few delighted gasps and children who decide now is the best time to start crying, but then more flares begin to launch from the boats and the subsequent show will sear itself into your memory to replay over and over again.

Still, you think the endless sky and dark water below would have to light on fire to stop him from coming to mind.

Din.

You click the comm on, continuing to stare in stunned awe but wanting nothing more than to hear his voice right now, feel his hand rest on your lower back and the kid’s three fingers squeezing one of yours while the stars rain down from above.  You’re only continuing to run from him because it’s expected of you, that’s the reason you’re here, but it’s becoming harder and harder to argue with yourself.  “Do you always see in black and white?”

It takes him just a few seconds to respond, but he always does.  “Only when I’m tracking someone.”

The loud booms can be heard over the earpiece, happening maybe a second after they crack and sparkle above you.  You can’t tell if the latency is due to the electronics or if he’s just that far away from the source of the sound itself, but… you don’t think he is.  He feels close again, like he could just walk up right next to you any second, or maybe that’s just how he always feels now.

“Does that mean you haven’t seen the sky here?”  You ask after a moment.  This whole time, everything has been grey for him?

“I saw it,” Din murmurs, and even though it’s quiet and explosions are thundering loud enough to deafen more sensitive ears, his quiet voice somehow breaks through it all.  “When you left the Crest, I saw it behind you.”

For some reason, you suddenly feel like crying.  Whether it’s the way he phrases it or the sentiment in the words, you’re close to tears without even knowing why, looking up at the sky illuminating spectacularly.  He says it like he wasn’t the one who parked on this moon and told you to go on without him.  “Can you… turn it off for just a second?”

He takes a second, before clarifying for you.  “I turn it off and I lose your footprints.”

So that was the ultimatum.  He doesn’t want to turn it off until you’re back with him again.  Does he not understand?  Does he not know what you know?  Maybe you just happened to feel it first, this overwhelming physical sensation inside you whenever you think about him.  It’s like the exact opposite of a hole in your chest.  And it’s so odd, so counterintuitive.  Being comforted in his absence, feeling him with you when he isn’t.  Falling in love in the dark, knowing him without ever seeing him.

“You never needed them,” you say, reaching up to pull your mask down under your jaw and chin for a moment, wanting to freely breathe the freshwater and flowers while stars explode and fracture across the sky.  It’s a truth you’re acknowledging, something you’ll carry with you, something you fundamentally own at this point.  “You’d find me without the helmet.  And I’d find you.”

The fireworks continue to bleed into the water beneath them, multicolor splashes rippling into existence and disappearing just as quick.  You could’ve never imagined a more colorful, magnificent landscape—besides your waterfall on Naboo, of course.  That was a pure product of nature though, a place hidden away and untouched by people, completely sacred.  Light refracting against mist, natural glass that would shatter under your weight.  This is a celebration of life and family.  Loud in a different way, affecting you in a different way, but just as wonderful and touching.  A cultivated paradise, designed to be beautiful and safe only because they wanted it to be.

“Think so?”  He asks softly.  He sounds so deep and warm, but… a little distant.  You’re able to hear it in his words.  You don’t know why, though.  Doesn’t he believe you?  Perhaps… perhaps this isn’t The Way.  Perhaps this is part of a completely different oath, one where knowing and loving somebody isn’t the same thing as looking at their face, not at all.  Where you can have them exist entirely separate from each other, because this is love.  This is real, enduring, bone-deep love, and you haven’t ever seen his face, so how would he explain that?  How would the Mandalorians reconcile that?  You bear the mark of the mudhorn, you’ve moved through time and space with him, you’re a mother to his son, and you’ve never seen his face.  It defies both the Mandalorian oath and traditional understandings of love, or it meets them right in the middle, depending on how you look at it.

“I know so.”  For the first time, you think you might sound more confident and certain than he does.  Maybe he doesn’t fully get it yet, but then you suppose he’ll just have to trust you.  “Will you look at the sky?”

“I see it,” Din tells you, but you know he doesn’t.  Not the way you want him to.  And stars, you just want so many things for him, don’t you?  The sky, fresh air, water, light, food, rest.  You want him to see the galaxy the way you do—have a new appreciation for the gifts that are given just because you’re alive to experience them.  All the physics and mathematics aligned perfectly for it to happen—all the chemistry, the systems, the dynamics that dictate the universe, they all got together and crafted a world where you, him, and the kid all exist together at the same time.  You want him to know the significance of that.

“With color?”  You ask, knowing his answer before he seems to.

“I…”  Din wants to argue, or at least say it again.  He can’t or he’ll lose you, he already told you he doesn’t want to turn the setting off.  It’s such an unnecessary conflict, but you want to respect it so much that you’re willing to give up things of your own to make it happen.

“How do I fix it then?”  You whisper, so desperately wanting this one thing for him, this one grandeur to behold.  How do you fix this problem?  How do you convince him to look with you?  You’d offer to just go and find him instead of continuing to run away for the next few hours, but you know the show will be over soon and you don’t have much time left.  “Do you want me to come look for you?  It’ll be too late by then, you’re too far away.  Look at the sky.”

It’s silent for a moment—truly silent, even though colorful bombs are going off above the bay.  You don’t know why you’ve attached yourself to this so strongly, but it’s almost devastating when you don’t get a response.  You look away from the spectacle for the first time in an eternity, gazing unseeingly into the crowd of onlookers with a sudden sadness taking hold of you.  He won’t look, he’s too stubborn, he holds onto things too tightly.

But then, a flurry of flares start launching in rapid succession from the distant boats, screaming and crying on their way up and then igniting into showers of light, and the abrupt increase in activity manages to catch your attention once again.  This must be the end, they saved the best for last.  Every corner of the horizon flashes and sparks, and you’re mesmerized at how bright it is, how many colors they’ve managed to fit into one single frame.

“It’s beautiful,” comes his voice, and the smile that you break into feels just right for the brilliance of the view above you.  Maker, it is, isn’t it?  Now you can hear it—he sounds like he’s looking at it too, with color, in all its breathtaking glory, and you feel like you’re flying.  Like he picked you up and let you watch up close, like you can feel his armor under your fingers right now as he carries you through the sky.

It swells up inside you, a rising wave similar to the ones you can see in the distance, and you know you probably shouldn’t say it because it’s not in your best interest to say it right now, but you have to say it anyways.  It’s an unknowable compulsion, a need to connect and communicate directly with him but for your sake, not presently, not at this exact moment in time.

Luckily, you mute your comm just in time and simply give the words to him from very far away.

“Hurry up,” you say, sending the sentiment into the sky with all your love, and the conflicting hope that he won’t take the advice until a bit later on.  “Come and find me.”

***

Day 5–7:37pm:

After the fireworks are over, people start to drift off in separate directions, clearing the traffic and congestion from the streets around you.  Someone puts their hand on your shoulder and you blink a few times, spinning around and almost stepping on a bunch of tiny little feet by accident.

Stars, that’s a lot of children.  They’re all crowded around Naydee, who pats a few heads and almost buckles under the younglings clinging to her leg.

“Figured you would be long gone by now,” she grins at you from behind her mask, and you’re reminded to pull yours up over your face just from looking at her.  “It’s late—we’re going back to the Keja.”

“Oh, shit,” you breathe in surprise, but the noise of the gradually dispersing crowd manages to cover it up.  At least from younger, more easily distracted ears, but you think Naydee hears you.  Her dark eyes roll good-naturedly, looking happy but exhausted from the long day.  You’re going to have to say goodbye now.

“What happened to your family?”  She asks after a moment, and you think she’s being careful with the way she says it, likely because family is a difficult topic to navigate in general around some of the children hanging on her and begging for her attention.  “Have you been in touch with them?  If not, I’m sure you can come back with us.  It’ll be late by the time we get there, but at least you’ll be safe.”

You open your mouth to automatically decline her offer, knowing Din is still in the crowded city looking for you and wanting to stay where there’s lots of people.

But then… well, he would expect you to do that, wouldn’t he?

There’s more people here.  More danger, but better places to hide.  It’s the obvious choice, it’s the one that makes the most logical sense.  But you’d also be completely alone and you’re assuming the only reason he hasn’t snatched you up yet—which you know he could’ve done multiple times by now, is likely because you’re with a group of innocent foundlings, moody teenagers, and very stern older women.  He probably doesn’t realize you’ve told them about him and the kid, though you were slightly vague on the details.

It’s also a little over three hours to get back, but you’re banking on it being closer to four with how whiney and tired some of the small voices sound, others sounding like they’re an enormous sugar rush contained into a tiny little capsule.  Would he have the gall to try and get you right from under their noses?  Will he even know you left the city, or will he assume you made the smartest decision possible and simply account for it ahead of time?  No, you're overthinking it, just make a decision and stick with it.

“There’s also free food,” Naydee shrugs while you’re still considering, but… well, that settles that.  Almost three days of friendship and she already knows exactly how to win you over in the end.  Sustenance for your empty tummy, an escort the entire way there, and heavily guarded walls beyond.  Din will have to get creative in response—you flaunted your imagination for days, coming up with dozens of evasion tactics to outlast him, but this one just seems… incredibly practical.  Exploiting a weakness of his—isolating it, having it be reinforced by precedent, and then taking advantage of it.  You bet he’ll catch on, but still, it’ll make it more difficult for him, and you’re grasping at straws to hang on just a little longer.

“I…”  Quick, come up with something.  You clear your throat.  “The city is too crowded, I haven’t been able to find them.  I could just… tell them where I’m headed and see if they can find me along the way?”

Naydee smiles and nods.  “Sounds perfect.”

Yet, the entire walk back… you keep thinking you’re going to feel Din trailing behind you, waiting to feel the nerves twist in your tummy and your palms to sweat, but you don’t.  You keep glancing over your shoulder and then down at your wrist, needing to talk yourself out of addressing him through the comm to let him know exactly what the plan is.  You like maintaining a sense of secrecy from the new characters you’ve met on your adventures—Naydee, Karga, Peli—almost everyone you’ve been introduced to, you found a way to find a subtle enjoyment in hiding certain things from them.  But with Din, you don’t have any walls.  They crumbled nearly a full year ago when he silently pushed a cauterizer in your hand and took his armor off for you, and you’ve felt the inexplicable need to bare yourself to him in return ever since.  It would be to your extreme detriment to do it now, but you still have to fight the urge.

Even if you don’t feel him following, you still find yourself acting like he is.  Constantly turning back to double check the road behind you, drifting off in the middle of shallow, distant conversations with tiny foundlings who can’t tell the difference, keeping towards the middle of the pack this time to avoid being picked off towards the back.  The belltower at the orphanage is loud and will ring for quite a distance, so your timing has to be utterly pristine for this to all work out.  You eye your comm the entire way there, trying to stall just the right amount to avoid any realizations or fall into any traps he may be setting for you.

You eventually leave the city walls far behind you, and now you have no clue where he is.  You lost him, and maybe that’s why you feel your heart beat insanely fast the whole time.  He could be anywhere now.  Behind you, adjacent, parallel—you can’t decide where to look, but it keeps you wide awake and focused while the group tiredly travels back to the temple.

***

Day 5–11:32pm:

You can see it in the distance, the brick buildings slowly coming into view.  One might think your stress would have worked itself out by now, been brought back to a manageable level after four hours of walking, but you’ve been on red alert for the past hour or so.  Any movement or rustle that doesn’t come from the sleepy children or exhausted caretakers, you’re on top of it, snapping your attention to the offending tree or animal and not being able to relax even after affirming it’s just nature, it’s not shiny metal bounding after you in the darkness, ready to take you down.

The infants are all likely snoozing away in the nursery, and the Sister who volunteered to stay behind and look after them comes to greet the group at the gate as you approach.  Like always, two Brothers open the iron bars to allow you inside, and you feel the anxiety dig its claws into your tummy.  If Din is going to get you, this is the very last moment to do it.  These walls are guarded and you’re nervous for him, you’re nervous for yourself—you’re just fucking nervous.  Jumpy and worried, not being able to pinpoint him anymore and feeling all the more anxious because of it.

It doesn’t feel right.  Nothing feels right about this, but you can’t figure out specifically what’s wrong.  This was the exact plan, this was a way for you to just survive these last few hours and yet, it doesn’t feel right that you actually succeeded in doing so.  It doesn’t make sense that he’d allow you to return all the way here, especially when he was close enough to touch you earlier.  Din has had so much time to snatch you up, so many opportunities to lure you away, confront you—anything to catch you, and he hasn’t done it yet.  Why?  Either you truly did escape and he has no idea where you are, which doesn’t feel right, or he’s choosing not to get you for whatever reason, which also doesn’t feel right.  What’s he waiting for?  You can’t have won.  It was all too fucking easy, you’re expecting to see him around every single corner because he should be there, he shouldn’t have allowed this to happen.

When someone gently touches your elbow, you’re so on edge that you nearly whip around in surprise.

“Sorry!”  Naydee immediately apologizes, taking her hand back to lift her hood and remove the mask covering her face.  “Didn’t mean to scare you!  I was just going to say that the commissary is still open,” she offers, and you watch the small group of hungry teenagers break off from the group to make their way there.  “It’s going to take awhile to get the children ready for bed, so we’ll be in the dormitories if you need to sleep.  Otherwise, I’m not sure I’ll see you again.”

You stare at her and blink a few times, trying to readjust your focus.  She’s your new friend, she just said this was likely the last time you’ll see each other, but you can’t stop thinking about Din.  Imagine he’s hours away in the city right now, still looking for you.  You’re trying to evaluate your priorities here, but you truthfully never expected to get this far.  Inside the gates, surrounded by brick buildings and silent guards.  You know your way around here, you know hiding spots, you know how to outlast—it’s incredibly advantageous for you to be inside these walls.  What is he doing?

Shaking your head to clear your thoughts, you give Naydee a quick hug and she happily accepts it.  “I’m sure we’ll meet again at some point.”

She smiles and nods, pulling back and letting a couple grumpy foundlings catch her robes and yank on them impatiently.  The loud group eventually disappears into the dorms, and the door shutting behind them cuts off the tired crying and chatty voices determined to stay awake, leaving you in silence that feels slightly unfamiliar after going without it for so long.

Fuck, you just need to breathe.  As soon as the dead quiet grips the air around you, you realize you need to relax.  You’re way too fucking wound up; you want to bolt at the smallest thing and the sudden silence of being alone multiplies it to the point where you have to remind yourself of its importance.  Breathe.  Focus.  There’s about fifteen minutes before the bells ring, fifteen more minutes and the chase will be all over.

Can you eat?  You thought you’d want to, but you think you’re too fucking antsy.  You can’t stay here alone, that’s for sure, but you also don’t want to be around all the children right now.  The commissary will have a handful of people wandering around, teens snacking and maybe a Brother or two standing guard.  It’s the best place to wait the clock out, so you make your way there.  The gentle breeze billows around your loose robes, your pantlegs swishing as you walk.

A few minutes later, you’ve got a plate of food in front of you but your mask is still up, and you’re just sitting there.  Towards the back of the large room, sitting by yourself at one of the tables and staring down at your communicator.  Five minutes.  You have five fucking minutes left before he finds you.  Can you feel him?  Is he closing in?

You sit up a bit straighter, taking a deep breath.  Focus on that feeling from earlier.  The presence in your chest, the weight that didn’t used to be there months ago—focus on that feeling and branch it outwards.  Can you feel him?

Something catches your eye.

Or no… it doesn’t, does it?  Nothing is out of place here, nothing is visibly wrong or amiss.  The only thing that’s changed from all the times before is how dark it is through the windows, and how there are only a few kids in here grabbing a midnight snack instead of being packed like usual.  Nothing else.

But there’s… there’s an acolyte in the far corner, standing guard with his back to the wall.  It’s not his presence that gives you pause—you expected him to be here, there’s always been at least one present whenever you’ve sat down to eat.  He doesn’t look any different from the rest of the Brothers you’ve passed by this evening or the days before—tall, silent, dark brown robes, hooded and mysterious—so why do you suddenly feel yourself break out into a cold sweat as soon as your eyes land on him?

Bubbling laughter and chatter echoes through the large room from one of the tables near the entrance—seven teenagers stuffing their faces with food and sharing animated conversation with each other now that it’s late and they’re alone—but your stomach twists and your fingers start to tremble as you slowly rise from your seat in the back.  You want to keep your head down and be casual but it’s impossible, you desperately need to keep looking at that silent guard in particular and your heart kicks up in your chest—

—and then it wrenches sideways when you’re carefully backing away from the table and the offending acolyte takes a single step forwards.

Run.  Everything in you screams for you to run, and it’s rarely done that before, but you can’t.  Not yet, you don’t want to draw attention, and the logical part of your mind rages against your gut instinct to haul ass.  He’s here—of course he is, the thought screams through your veins as you try to weave quickly in between tables, feeling light on your toes and readying yourself to run as soon as you can.  The dark figure seems to find a careful pace behind you, staying just far enough behind and walking in perfect silence, and you have so many fucking questions but you can’t even think a single thing beyond run away, run away.  Where’s the kid?  How did he get those robes?  Did he actually take his helmet off just to get to you in a room where anyone could confront him?

Your feet propel you forward as soon as you make it out of the door, you break out into a sprint—just flat out bolting because you know how fucking fast he is and you need as big a headstart as you can get.

You race down the stairs and through the courtyard, the beautiful surroundings contrasting drastically with the way you’re running for your fucking life through them.  It’s not beautiful to you right now; you feel clumsy and physically unable to move fast enough no matter how quick you go, your eyes are wide and every nerve is on fire and you can’t even tell if he’s behind you anymore with how silently he moves, but you just trust that he is and keep barreling forward.  Your breath puffs against the clinging fabric of your mask as you keep sprinting, willing your legs to pump faster.  Get to the belltower at least, get to where you have the smallest chance of being caught by the people who guard this place.

As soon as you allow yourself to even conceive the possibility, two Brothers in dark hooded robes suddenly turn the corner a little ways in front of you and your reaction time is perfect—you jerk to a halt and take a single step forward as soon as they spot you.  Since your momentum already committed you to it, you just have to walk, keep your head down, move directly past them and hope Din disappeared from behind you in time.

Step, step, step—keep going, control your breathing, you’re okay, you’re allowed to be up late tonight and they shouldn’t stop you.  Walk right by…  Stars, you feel their silent stares as you casually pass, and it just feels so cold and analytical compared to the kind of danger Din is gives off when dressed in the exact same clothing.  He’s hard and tangible and an unrelenting force, where they just feel like ghosts that haunt this place.  The threat they present is impersonal and detached, but the terror currently chasing after you is so real that he can read your mind.

You wipe the sweat from your brow as soon as you turn the corner, and your feet are already starting to speed up on their own knowing you’re out of their sight.  Run, get to the belltower before Din does, you can see it standing tall about a hundred feet away.  The stairs leading to the door come closer and closer, but you hear something behind you and it propels you faster.  It’s like you can feel him right at your heels even though you haven’t seen him, snapping at your ankles even though your footsteps are the only ones you can hear anymore.

You scramble up the stairs and close the door behind you, spinning around and facing it even as you slowly retreat backwards into the moonlit tower, trying to stay quiet.  Breathing through your nose, eyes shifting around the enclosed space, continuing to back up and away from the door.  Where is he?  There are so many windows that allow you to look outside, but why can’t you spot his movement through them?  Wasn’t he right behind you?

Behind you.

There’s no reason or logic at all to it; you just react.  Spinning around and throwing a mean punch.

Din jerks back just in time to miss it, twisting and dodging at the very last second to avoid your next few hits—but… things seem to slow down, even if they’re happening so fast.  The moonlight cascades through the dozens of windows lining the circular walls and it shines just enough to reveal small glimpses of him.  With every aggressive strike from you, you see something else—you see a flash of his chin when you try to uppercut, you aim for his chest and you see a bit of his jaw.  When you go for his jaw, he steps sideways and catches your wrist, and you see the bend of his nose catch the light this time.

But then it’s like he finally figures out that you’re actually fighting him, and now he’s coming for you.  Trained and ruthless, not weighed down by any armor and lightning quick, launching perfectly aimed attacks that you’re only able to avoid from reaction and muscle memory alone.  You block or move whenever he strikes, you attack whenever you see an opening, you sidestep at the same time he does—

Until you land a spin kick directly to the center of his chest and snap your leg to shove him back, your heel smashing into that soft spot right above his stomach with dead precision and brute force.  He exhales sharply and takes a few more steps back to steady himself while you pause to catch your breath.

Din abruptly comes back and you fall into it with him again, keeping a sharp rhythm with each other that’s faster, harder, and way more real than any sparring match you’ve ever shared.  The hours and days in hyperspace you spent practicing with him are but a fraction of what he’s throwing at you right now, the combinations so rapid and blurred that you just have to trust your knowledge of him and his movement through the dark.

But then, your downfall.  Bells begin ringing an earsplittingly familiar melody above you, and it shatters your concentration—you falter just as he grabs you and sweeps your feet out, and though you know how to get out of that, you’re not quick enough on the jump nor counterswing to prevent it.  He takes you to the ground, hard, and then your wrists are being pinned together above your head and your mask is being tugged down.

Din’s mouth on yours makes you want to cry.

The whole thing is like coming home.  You spent a week surrounded by strangers and having them call you by a name not given to you, fending for yourself, and now here he is.  Someone who knows who you really are, someone that wants to care for you.  Tears come to your eyes even as they're pressed tightly shut, and Din kisses you like he’s never known anything else.  His mouth fits to yours as if the Maker made your lips before ever considering the rest of you, his bare hand clutching your jaw and forcing you to open for him, letting him lick deep inside after going so many days without it.  It might feel dominant and overwhelming if it happened to any other person, but through it, you can also taste his desperation and weakness, how soft he is even when he’s squeezing your jaw and squishing your wrists together too tightly.

Rigid steel that bends only for your touch.

He pulls back and your heart throbs at how moonlight continues to bathe just the smallest glimpses of him under the hood—never the full thing, never the whole face, but enough.  The quiet light that brushes the arch of his nose, how it bathes the hard line of his jaw so that you can barely see his scruff when he turns his head the right way.  His eyes are hidden in near darkness but there’s the faintest glimmer where they should be, and it’s the closest you’ve ever been to looking at him without the helmet.  You can see him, you can see shadows of his chin, his neck—dear stars, his fucking neck.  You’re pinned and paralyzed under him and the ringing bells, yet you feel like you just might float if he wasn’t holding you so tight to the floor.

“Where’s the baby?”  You finally lift your chin and ask, needing to raise your voice over the melody clanging loud throughout the tower.

“Making friends,” Din pants back down at you, and… stars, then you just start giggling.  Adrenaline turning into pure joy, imagining the kid wreaking havoc with all the other babies in the nursery right now.  It feels more light and airy than anything your body should know.

“What are you so happy about?” He asks, swallowing and then continuing on with the same quick gasps.  “You lost, I caught you in time.”

“Did you?”  You drop your head to the brick floor and ask, biting your lip as he stares back down at you.  Suddenly—

—Bong—

Din holds utterly still over you while you take a quick breath and wait for the next eleven bells… 

…but then break into a slow grin up at him when nothing but utter silence follows.

There’s a moment.  Just a single moment where the cogs turn rapidly under that shadowy hood, one where the faint reflection of light in his eyes flickers down to the communicator on your wrist that says midnight and back to you, one that solidifies the longer it takes for another bell to ring.  It’s not going to.

One o’clock.

You think he puts it together.  The one moment he was never able to figure you out—when you tried reprogramming the comms just a few days ago.  The one trick up your sleeve that you resigned to throw away and almost forget about because the circumstances for pulling it off were never realistic.  Fuck with the electronics and set the clock back just one hour—all you’d need to do is reset his communicator, the timecode is synced together.  He told you before that it’s connected to his helmet, but all the buttons still work.  Rapid, panicky thinking and a wild surge of bravery in the face of certain downfall is the only reason you were able to pull it off, and you’re perfectly willing to admit you just got lucky… especially when he’s still holding dead still over you.

But then Din moves so suddenly.  You can’t account for it because there’s no build-up whatsoever—it’s so fast, you yelp while he grabs your knees and throws them both to one side.  You flop over sideways and large hands reach up under the draping length of your tunic to yank your pants down over the curve of your ass, before he’s fitting his palm up between your legs and pushing two thick fingers inside you.

Your head thunks back against brick with how unexpected and merciless it is, but his other hand is grabbing your jaw and twisting, forcing you to look up, stare right into the dark shadow under the loose cowl.  The whole thing is too overwhelming—you’re trying to keep quiet but your breathing feels like thunder crashing inside this tall, echoing chamber.  He’s touched you so many times, he knows exactly how to do it by now, but it feels like so much more than that.  Probably because you can see the way Din’s mouth silently falls open as he feels you, stretching his fingers up and hooking them tight inside.  You can tell when he closes his eyes, the smallest glint slowly disappearing into nothingness while the hand around your jaw blindly moves up.  It catches your chin and lips, and then two fingers push over the bottom edge of your teeth to slip into your mouth.

Your entire leg twitches and jerks while you lay sideways on the ground and open up for him, your neck twisted at a sharp angle to keep your eyes on him and his fingers in your mouth, giving you something to bite to stop making noise.  Din makes room for himself inside you two different ways, and you just choke on his fingers and try to stay quiet, praying he’ll go deeper.

But then you’re not expecting his whole fucking arm to start moving the way it does—oh fuck, what is that?  First you just feel jostled and displaced, but then suddenly a wicked, deep, burning pleasure starts to roar through you, radiating outwards from the rapid motion of just two fingers inside you.  It’s not in and out, it’s up and down so hard and quick against your g-spot that your eyes cross and your hands go numb.

You think you grab at him, clutch onto his arm or chest and open your mouth to moan at the new and overwhelming sensation, but his hand pushes up against your chin and closes it for you, the bend of his fingers caught hard between your teeth but you don’t think he cares.

“Quiet,” Din hisses the word down at you while his arm continues to work, your toes starting to curl as the feeling overwhelms you.  Fuck, what is happening, what is happening?  It’s like he’s just shoving unfamiliar sensation at you so forcefully that you can’t even think straight anymore, not even ten seconds in.  You can only feel the pleasure, fire blurring hot and shapeless through your entire body as your eyes clamp shut, his fingers isolating that perfect spot and stimulating it directly, relentlessly.

Something dull and white hot presses up tight against all the muscles you have down there and you’re almost afraid of how strong it is.  You gasp and choke and he has to take his fingers out of your mouth and just clamp down around your entire jaw, sealing the whole thing shut with his large hand.  And then Din’s fingers leave your pussy too—and stars, you should be embarrassed by how desperately it clamps around nothing for as long as it does.  He’s not even inside you anymore but your body is on such a delay from the hot, twisting pleasure, and he doesn’t put them back in until your muscles are finished spasming.

Everything comes back full force as soon as he starts moving again.  Noise starts to come from your throat, humming in your vocal cords to deal with the arcing, swirling build, and so Din just moves his hand there instead.  He finds where it’s vibrating from your neck and he pushes up against it, trapping the sound right at the source.  He’s fucking perfect at it for some reason… how many times must he have done this to know how to cut noise out without stopping airflow?  You clutch at his wrist and silently mouth his name, feeling his arm work between your legs—faster, faster, harder, pushing you higher, higher—

Din pulls his fingers out again and this time, one of your thighs suddenly feels warm and wet while you spasm and you hear him growl out a ragged, “Fuck yes.”  Everything is sparks zapping through you long after his touch is gone, you cry out but it’s all trapped under Din’s expert grip.  His fingers soon push back inside you and you dig your nails into his forearm, your sounds muffled and quiet enough to hear his raspy groan.  

“Let me see it again,” Din breathes, his arm starting to work up and down once more, and you don’t even know what he’s talking about anymore.  What does he want to see?  You losing your mind again?  Being reduced to an utter mess in front of his shadowy but unobstructed gaze just because you managed to pull one over on him?

Fucking… apparently.  It’s what happens, after all.  You’ve never seen him like this before; whenever he’s worked up and taking it out on you, there was always something in it for him, too.  He’d hammer into you and rock your world until his eventually shattered, and then you’d both lay exhausted afterwards, equally affected and satisfied.  This isn’t like that—this is just cruel, targeted retribution on his behalf, coaxing the molten pleasure out of you with his fingers and keeping his other hand locked around your throat.  You blink helplessly up at him, your vision starting to blur by the time he leans down to whisper to you.

“I missed you, sweet girl.  Did you miss me?”  It’s so soft and quiet compared to the strength and relentlessness of his movements.  You can’t speak even if you wanted to, but when he finally pulls away to yank his hand out and you feel all your muscles automatically flex outwards and push against the sudden emptiness inside you, his voice groans long and satisfied while your thighs get wet again  “Yeah you did,” he breathes, pushing your shaky legs to the brick with his hand and watching you struggle through the aftershocks.

Did you just cum?  You don’t even know, that’s how fucked up you are right now.  The whole thing felt like an orgasm from the very beginning, just a boiling hot tornado ripping through every single cell in your body, never really having a peak.  If you didn’t cum, then why do you feel so weak?  You feel heavy, your limbs don’t work properly, and you barely even register Din pulling at the fabric of his own robes until he fits himself up against your entrance.

When you do realize it, though… your body burns with it, wrecked already but wanting him to take what he wants from you.

“Oh, plea—” you gasp but you don’t even have enough time to get the full sentence out.  He’s already pushing his hips forward, pressing you tight into the ground and opening you up after what feels like a fucking eternity without him.  It’s the hottest, slickest welcome you could give him, you hear it in the whispered curse his lips brush up under your ear, the wet noises your body makes that get louder the longer you hold the moan in your throat and bury your head into his shoulder.  He throbs thick and perfect inside your tight, spasming cunt, stretching you and smacking the rough ground near your head with how fucking good it is to be back, finally, finally—

Your hands grab uselessly at his chest while you try to acclimate, try to breathe while you’re blind with sensation.  It’s so fitting for him, isn’t it?  That your reunion should be just as physically debilitating as it is mentally.  Din’s voice scrapes on a groan like he’s dragging it across the brick ground as quiet as he can, catching when you clamp down on him and shuddering when you clamp down harder.  That’s just it—you don’t ever loosen, you just keep tightening and tightening around him, threatening to break and cum again.

This feels different from before, though.  It’s deep, purposefully so.  His hand reaches up to push the fabric of your hood back, lifting himself up over your body and wanting to start as deep as he can.  You feel him in a place you’d never be able to reach and that’s just the beginning—that’s before he starts thrusting into you, hitting a dull sensation at the apex of each movement so hard that it becomes sharp.  His hips don’t make practically any sound smacking into you because they don’t really smack, they just rock downwards and fuck you into the floor without needing to pull out really at all.  You know he’s just trying to keep it as quiet as possible, but what he lacks in speed and agility he makes up in power.

You don’t even realize you’re making too much noise until a palm wraps tight around your mouth and the room gets a little emptier.  Din keeps you all to himself on the floor, silencing as much as he’s working you up, smothering as much as he’s freeing you.  There’s no easing up, no dragging it out, no gradual build or climb—it’s just there all of a sudden, pleasure and pain pummeling you all at once, engulfing you in flames.

You reach up to grab at the loose fabric of the hood over his face, catching a fistful of it before his hand suddenly snatches your shaky wrist and pins it back to the ground.

Maker, you forgot—oh, you completely forgot about how many people could find you right now if they ever decided to look in the right place.  You’re not in hyperspace; your body is rocking against rough brick, you’re probably going to have a lump on the back of your head from how terrible you are at trying to map out heaven while holding still.  He’s pinned down what he can with one hand; your fingers are the only things that can move besides how tight you can curl your toes, but you feel your moans turn into words against his palm.  They garble indistinctly and you’re not really even sure what you’re saying, but Din decides it’s worth hearing.

“Shh,” he whispers, slowly lifting his hand from your mouth.  “Shh, tell me—”

“W-wanna look,” you hear yourself whimper, trying your best to keep quiet but wanting to scream it while he fucks you hard and slow on the ground, “—I wanna see, I wanna look at you—”

“Fuck,” Din gasps, and though his grip tightens on your wrist and you know he can’t do it right this second, the words seem like they shatter something inside him, “Keep—oh fuck, please, k-keep saying…”

“I want to marry you,” you nearly whine for him, feeling his hips kick up rapidly and start hammering in and out, in and out, in and—“I want to see your face, I wanna be yours, I don’t want anyone else to know you the way I-I—”

You think he drops his head into your neck to muffle his own sounds.  Though they start out rough and quiet and indiscernible, but they gradually become louder as he repeats himself over and over again, growling and fucking you rough.  You only catch it on the peak, when he pulls his mouth away from your skin and gasps them raggedly one last time.

“—ve you—I l-love y—”

He kisses you to stop himself.  But it’s not really a kiss, it’s more desperate than that.  Though it’s beautiful, it’s beautiful in a different light.  It’s not rejoicing at having you back with him once again; it’s a last prayer begging you to stay by his side forever.  He loves you.  He gives it everything—it feels even more concrete and simple than taking the hood off him and revealing his face would.  You told you that you'd know him without ever seeing him, and you did.  You picked him out and found him when absolutely nothing was giving him away, and this feels like a manifestation of that.  Even if you’re not in a place where he can show you his face, his beautiful brown eyes, something still feels like it changes.  He loves you.  You gasp into his mouth and his tongue sinks deep into yours, tenacious and brave and unyielding.  

When you finally cum, you almost bite him on accident.  

Everything surges hot and molten while he pulls back and keeps fucking you through it, and you can’t tell where you’re touching him anymore, just that his skin is blazing hot under your hand and he feels like everything the armor isn’t.  He loves you.  You’re looking into his eyes right now.  You can’t see any of the details, not really, but the moonlight flickers like silent stars moving through dark depths, staring right back at you and giving you an anchor for the euphoria rocketing through you.  He loves you.  Your nails dig in sharp and slowly drag downwards, scratching hard red lines into whatever thick muscle that is—

The back of his neck, making his hips stutter and when he cums for you, he does bite.

You lift your head just in time to feel his teeth catch your chin instead of your mouth, and his entire body shakes while you keep dragging your nails down the side of his neck and his throat.  Din fucking lives for it, he releases you and arches into the pain and owns your marks like he wishes you made them deeper, stretching his neck and lifting his chin into the moonlight and—

Maker.  You can see it, with direct light, you can see more of it than ever before.  You can see his soft lips and white teeth gritting the sound of your name as quietly as he can, the dark facial hair dusting across the lower half of his face.  A fucking gorgeous jawline and throat extended long over you, flexing hard with his cock pulsing inside you.  You can just barely see the bottom of his nose from under the brown hood, the dark curls brushing up under his ears.

Stars, you still never see his eyes, the fabric of his hood acts like a blindfold draped over them, but you think you cum again.  Even if it’s on accident, it’s mean—Din tries to keep from squishing you and his hand pushes down hard against your lower tummy while he shoves his hips deep one last time, and you cum while staring at half of his face in the moonlight.  Completely lovestruck.

How can he be this beautiful when you’ve only seen fractions of him?  You have everything but the eyes now, everything but the most mysterious thing about him, the reflection into his deepest self, but you feel like you’re hypnotized by every single feature you do see.  His tongue coming out to wet his lips, the vein pulling under his sharp jaw—he’s gorgeous, he’s gorgeous, and your body agrees.  It shakes and shudders under him and eventually, Din finishes and you keep looking as his chin slowly lowers, face disappearing into the shadow once more.

Stars.  He’s so handsome and no one has ever told him, fucking dreamy and the biggest grump you’ve ever met.  Without being able to see him, you already want to reach your hands out and touch him, drag your nails through his scruff and force him to extend outwards into the moonlight again for you.  Whenever he does end up showing you his face, you know right fucking now that you’ll never be able to look away.  For the rest of your life, you’ll be staring at him, apologizing blankly for your rudeness but not feeling sorry at all.

Din leans down and gives you a slow, gentle kiss, finally relaxing into a slouch and breathing hard with the effort it took to shatter you with pleasure.

“The kid is with the other foundlings,” he whispers against your lips.  “You… you’ll have to go get him, I need to grab my armor.”

You squeeze around his cock, pulling at the fabric of his robes and ignoring him for just a second.  He fucked you in robes belonging to one of the guards and nobody has mentioned it, you need to say something.  “Where did you get this?”

“I found it,” he tells you after a moment, kissing up under your jaw.  Oh fucking Maker, he feels so good and perfect inside you, shoulders so broad and crowding you on the floor, and his lips are plush and hot, brushing and fitting your skin like it’s just an extension of his own.  “Some guy was wearing it.”

It takes you a second.

“Mando,” you suddenly gasp in quiet horror, pushing at his chest and trying your best to detach his mouth from your throat.  It’s so much more difficult than it needs to be, but you eventually succeed.  “What did you do to him?  Where is he?”

He lifts his neck up just the tiniest bit, turning his face towards yours under the hood and holding still for way too fucking long.  He’s too close to see the expression he’s making, but you know the tone of his silence.  He’s in trouble and he knows it before you do.

“Ma—”

“They’re in a closet,” he admits at the very same time, completely monotone.

You don’t know which word to emphasize.  A fucking closet?  They’re?  Plural?  Instead of stressing any particular word, you decide not to do it at all and it ends up just coming out in the same exact blank tone as him.  “They're in a closet.”

“Inside the Temple,” Din continues on when you lay still as a statue underneath him.  His head slowly dips down once more, pushing his hips against you just the slightest bit to make you remember the cock still inside you instead.  Your eyelashes flutter with it—fuck, focus—“I didn’t know there’d be more than two.”  He kisses your neck so gently.  “It was an accident.”

You don’t say anything at all, your mouth pinching down at the corners because it should but your heartbeat galloping with how… fucking sexy he is.  You shouldn’t encourage this, this horrible behavior just to get close enough to catch you, but your curiosity overtakes you and you ask a question you’ve asked yourself before.  “Did they put up a fight?”

“Mm,” he whispers noncommittally, rocking his hips down once more.  “You did.”  Your nails dig into his chest, making him falter just slightly before slowly kissing your neck again.  “Did so good.  Fought hard, outsmarted me.  Pretty fucking girl.”

And then your eyes pop open as you feel it.  His cock suddenly beginning to harden once again inside you, twitching and gradually gaining a thicker shape, and for a moment, you actually fucking consider it.  He’s the only one in this galaxy that could not only ruin you on these sacred grounds, but then coax you into doing it more than once—stars, are you actually considering it?

“We can’t,” you automatically tell him, but it’s fucking pitiful.  Zero effort, absolutely no umph behind it, leaving it entirely up to him and how much he wants it.  Your logic reminds you that the kid is probably wreaking havoc in the nursery and there are tied up guards in the fucking temple that could be discovered any second.  You shouldn’t have even let him fuck you here in the first place, but…  “Mando, we can’t—”

His mouth opens against the crook of your neck and his tongue brushes velvet hot on your skin, tasting the glistening sweat there and not moving his broad figure a single inch over you besides getting closer, deeper.  Your nails dig into his collarbone, aiming for reason one last time.  It’s apparent that you’d be better off rephrasing, knowing the challenging streak in him and how much telling him what to do doesn't help.

“It’s not a good idea,” you attempt instead, breathless and trying not to move under his mouth and lazy hips.  “Not smart.  Bad idea to fuck again.”

Din’s body stops moving, even though he keeps getting harder.  His jaw opens and then his teeth scrape softly against your flesh, making you tilt your neck back and gasp.

“Later,” he lifts his head to state aloud, committing it to truth now that it’s been spoken and heard by another person.  “Later, I’ll fuck you on the ship, in our bed, when I can get you naked and have your taste in my mouth.”

Tingles rock through your body and you squeeze around his cock just as he pulls it out and tucks it back into his pants.  Your lungs quiver when you inhale—it’s shaky, but it reminds you of how long it’s been since you’ve been able to breathe correctly.

“Later,” you finally agree, combing your fingers through your hair and glad you have this hood to cover your freshly fucked dishevelment.  He came inside you and you don’t want to be leaking and getting your nice pretty robes all wet and stained, but then of course, without any prompting, Din quickly scoots back on his knees and drops his head down to take care of it for you.

***

Commotion.

After Din helped you clean up the way he sometimes likes and then disappeared to change back into his armor, you put your mask and hood back on and tried to look as casual as possible walking to the nursery.  Your knees wobbled slightly and you couldn’t stop smiling under the mask the entire walk there, but when you arrived, you just saw a dim room with sleeping infants—not what you were expecting.  Soon, however, you hear it: down the hall, distant and coming from the dormitories, you hear a loud commotion.

Fuck, you’re nearly wincing with every step you take now, and not because you’re sore.  Well, you… are, a little bit, but in a great way.  No, you’re just dreading the ridiculous shinanigans you already know are well underway, wondering if Din actually dropped the kid off in the dorms from the beginning or if he somehow migrated his way there to cause trouble.

When you walk inside, the first thing you see is a handful of crying and shouting toddlers, and while you can’t immediately spot your favorite floppy-eared monster, you don’t have to see him to know he’s probably standing tiny directly in the middle of this tense showdown.  Automatically, you’re taking a few steps forward to rescue him, but then you stop as soon as you see what the other babies are so mad about.  A large piece of chocolate leftover from the festival levitating just beyond their pitiful little reaches.

Hm.  Who could possibly be responsible for using demon powers to steal snacks and hold them hostage from a sizeable group of hostile children.  A mystery that may never be solved.

It makes you take a second.  The sheer… the… stars, you can’t even think straight—how fucking typical it is just hits you right in the chest, sends your heart into orbit.  Of course.  Of course this is what he’s gotten himself into without immediate supervision, of course this is the shipwreck you’d walk into, and you’re holding back a chuckle before making a single move to intervene.  In the midst of everything, you can hear adults approaching distantly from behind you.

“—don’t know where it came from, I was helping the younglings into bed when I heard the ruckus and I—”

The voices gradually grow louder, and you snatch the floating piece of candy out of thin air and whip around right before Sister Drya and Naydee walk in.  Their hushed, concerned conversation is cut to an abrupt end, and you clear your throat as they take you in, standing in front of chaos central continuing to go off behind you.  Do you… look as freshly disheveled as you are?  You’re not supposed to be here, you know, but hopefully the only strange thing is your presence itself and not anything concerning your appearance.

“Nerida,” the older lady suddenly announces, the name alone holding so much expectation, and the younglings missing their candy have now turned their ire towards you and the crinkly food wrapper hidden in your fist.  “What is the meaning of this?”

“Ah, yeah,” you stand up a little straighter, letting the chocolate casually fall out of your grip behind you, and a stampede of feet suddenly kick up to recover it.  It’s fine, nobody will know, it’s fine.  “It’s just…”  Your head tips behind you to the cause of the uproar, feeling a bit sheepish yet so incredibly fond.  “My… kid.”

Sister Drya stares at you for a few seconds, before tipping sideways and staring at the culprit.  “That is your child?”

You turn around just in time to see him, now abandoned by the angry mob of children, finally notice you.  All of a sudden, his pitch black eyes light up something bright and sunshiney, and you just start beaming in return.  What an adorable little creature, apple of your eye and pain of your ass.

“Yep,” you sigh, dropping into a squat and watching him barrel towards you, catching him right before he can trip over his brown potato sack and scooping him up into your arms.  “Hiya, bug,” you murmur with a grin, lifting back up and plopping him in his favorite spot in the universe—your left hip.  “You making friends?”

He giggles and it’s like sparkles and bubbles fill the room instead, wrapping tiny arms around the largest surface area he can get and clinging.  He laughs with a tiny open mouth, bless him, clearly not understanding the sarcasm, and suddenly your eyes feel just the slightest bit wet.  No, you’re not crying, don’t be fucking ridiculous, but you missed him like hell and he’s just the cutest fucking thing—why do you feel like crying?

“Sorry about that,” you apologize to the two women while slowly turning around, brushing your thumb over one of his cheeks and smiling as it squishes.  “He’s… uh.  Not great at sharing.  We’ll work on it.”

Takes after his dad, you purposefully leave out, just a different kind of sharing.  Din hasn’t shown you his full face yet and the kid performs magic tricks to taunt a roomful of children a fraction of his age for a single piece of chocolate, completely different kind of sharing.

Sister Drya says something in response, but when you look up to address her, all you see is Din standing silently behind her and Naydee, slowly dropping his hand from his helmet to his side.  They don’t seem to notice he’s there and you automatically try your best to pay attention to the Sister speaking to you, but your eyes get caught on the silver reflecting in the dim light beyond.  Fuck, he’s a presence.  An immediate distraction, taking all your focus with a single glimpse.  Seeing him fully armored again, staring at you from the silent shadows behind everything… you melt a little bit, knowing that you’ve seen more of what’s underneath than anyone.  Your shoulders settle and your entire body burns warm, wobbly like the air around a fire, and one of the kid’s hands leaves you to reach out towards his dad.

You watch the metallic helmet tilt sideways after a moment, saying everything without saying anything.  Come on, make up an excuse, let’s get out of here.

Looking at him in the quiet shadows, you’re reminded once again about how much you love him, how much softness you have inside you for a man so hard, so guarded.  And, for the first time, a voice in your head finishes a poem you didn’t realize you were writing, adding its own verse and bringing everything back around to the beginning.  He loves you, too.  How much he lets his guard down for you, the way he’s revealed more of his face to you than not.  You love each other.  You’re family.

So, all at once, you decide to mess with him, because that’s what family does best.

“Don’t be shy, come say hello,” you suddenly urge his silent figure, taking a step forward and speaking directly to him.  “Sister Drya, Naydee, I’d like to introduce you to my—”

It’s remarkable, you see it happen in front of you.  Like he has powers of his own, Din just literally fucking disappears.  Like magic, he’s nowhere to be found within a blink of an eye.  You know he’s capable of it; he’s done it plenty of times during the chase just to fuck with your head, but you’re staring straight at him when it happens this time and it might just be the funniest fucking thing you’ve ever seen him do.

Sister Drya and Naydee both turn around to an empty hallway bathed in shadows and you laugh.  A deep, shameless, loud belly laugh.  Where the fuck did he go so quick?  You were staring straight at him and you have no fucking clue.  He’s just out, and you’re left alone with his child and the unspoken understanding that he’ll just catch up with you later.

You’re giggling even as you shake your head and give the women your genuine thanks for keeping you and feeding you these past few days, grabbing your backpack with all your belongings and eventually using three green fingers to wave goodbye to them.  The very first thing Din says when he seamlessly joins you outside the Keja later is, “That wasn’t funny,” which just makes you laugh harder.

***

About a half hour has passed, and you’re walking along a dirt road, cradling a very happy baby in your arms and giving the grown man next to you an incredibly hard time.

“You’re unbelievable,” you mutter, your back twinging slightly at the way you’re leaning about as sideways as you can get without falling over.  You think you’re basically just the hypotenuse between the ground and Din, who easily supports almost your entire weight with your backpack slung around his far shoulder and readily allows you to rest against him.

“They’re fine,” he grumbles in response, squeezing you tight to his side.  You just have to focus on moving your feet; it’s like he’s practically carrying your upper-half anyways.  “I gave them the night off.”

“You stuffed them in a closet,” you hiss, feeling his shoulder shrug under your cheek.

“I gave them the robe back,” he says, not really defending himself and more just throwing it out there to see if it helps any.  “I’m sure someone’s found them by now, they’re fine.”

Your eyes suddenly go wide, absolutely mortified at the thought.  “Wait.  What do you mean you gave the robe back?”

He shrugs once more, apparently not seeing the problem yet.  “I borrowed it, so I gave it back after I put my armor back on.”

If you could plant your feet on the dirt road and screech to a halt, you would, but all your weight is already resting on him and you’re working solely off his forward movement.  You just hope your tone holds the same amount of shocked disapproval your body language would’ve conveyed if you weren’t so completely attached to his hip like a parasite he adores.

“You fucked me wearing it, though.”  Your voice is strangely flat, so fucking confused and horrified by the mental image of him just tossing the soiled garments haphazardly somewhere in the temple behind you, or even worse, leaving them somewhere respectful, and Din soon stops in the middle of the deserted road.

“Oh,” is all he says, emotionless and blank through the modulator.  Did he not even consider this?

“I had to promise them I was a virgin just to sleep there, you know,” you admit, and you can tell that’s brand new information to him with how still he goes as you continue to lean against him.  You’re getting the feeling that he probably knows a lot more about your experiences on this moon than you think he does, but can tell that this is brand new information to him.  “And you locked three of their holy men in a closet, chased me across the temple grounds, fucked me in one of their robes, and then.  You gave it.  Back.”

Din stays perfectly silent for quite some time.  You can never go back to that place, you know this for a fact.  You’re banned forever now, it’s what you deserve.

Never one to be outdone but not actually having anything to say for himself, Din suddenly decides to just scoop you into his arms and boost up into the sky without a single word like an actual fucking maniac.

You squeal and damn near drop the baby because of it, but he cinches you tight to his chest and refuses to loosen with your struggle.  Eventually, after you realize he’s completely locked you in and you won’t fall to your death with this poor innocent child in your arms, you glance over the shiny pauldron on his shoulder and watch the kid’s crib disappear by the abandoned road as Din takes you higher and higher.

The crib—he forgot the crib—

“D-Din,” you stammer out through the whistling air, stiff as a board.  Stars, you have such a different sense of adventure than him; an explorer and a daredevil, one who gets a thrill from discovering the existence of the edge of a cliff and one who’ll take a running dive off of it without thinking twice.  He’s hit with blaster fire some days, he faces down death completely fearless like it owes him one every single time, and you’re stiff as a fucking board while he carries you through the sky.  It’s stunning up here, it’s exciting and wonderful, but you’re so scared that you can barely even look.  He’s giving you the most fantastical view, everything your budding adventurous streak could ever ask for, and your terror is crushing.  It would be different if you could hold on, but you’re responsible for not letting the baby slip through your arms and you just have to trust that he won’t let you slip through his.

You raise your voice.  “Din?!”

“I won’t drop you,” he automatically reassures, and well you sure as fuck hope not, but there’s something else.

“What about the crib?”  You call out over the wind whipping, tucking the baby tight to your chest and settling your hands over his ears to avoid them flapping and whacking you repeatedly in the chin.

“We’ll come back for it,” he responds, just as easily.  Maker, you wish decision-making came that easy to you, that commitment and choice should be so simple as to just fly away from things on the ground and promise out loud to come back for them.  You know he will, but still, his spontaneity shocks you after spending the past week thinking every decision through meticulously, and you’re taken aback by the casualness of it all while soaring through the sky, committing such spectacular feats without a single thought beyond it.

Soon—incredibly soon, which honestly kind of blows your mind—you spot Nariss glowing in the distance and then you’re flying overtop of the city, slowly dropping altitude in the middle of a quiet little side street.

Din carefully allows your feet to settle on the ground before letting go, but you still stumble a bit stupidly after flying so high without any sort of safety measure besides him, prioritizing the steadiness of the baby in your arms instead of your feet underneath you.  His gloves catch at your clumsy body and pull you along with him without another word, leading you out of the quiet alley and into the middle of a beautiful, luminescent street.

What’s he doing?  He seems slightly hurried, and you’re clueless but you go with it, clamoring along behind him to wherever he’s leading you.

Though, you suddenly remember one of the very last things you told him last night right before he steps up in front of a vendor.

“Caf,” Din grunts, sliding a few credits towards the man standing behind the counter. “The… biggest one you have.”

Okay, well.  You could just about fucking cry.

“Y’sure?” The vendor asks skeptically, jerking his head at the large thermos behind him.  He’s balding, wearing a white outfit with his eyes scrunched up and forehead sweaty, likely working all day.  “It ain’t fresh.  Closin’ up soon, was just about to trash it and go home.”

The helmet turns to gauge your response to the news, the sharp angles and contours looking so sleek and dangerous as they reflect the colorful lamplights, but just filling you with comfort beyond anything in the entire galaxy.  He’ll take that armor off for you tonight and you’ll sleep next to him.  He’ll call you by your given name, or the fond name he’s given you, and you’ll cuddle your baby on a metal floor in hyperspace with him, and all will be well.  Even if he needs to leave again soon—even if you don’t get to go with him, you’ll always have these small eternities with each other, and that’s more enough for you now.

You’re completely zoned out while staring at him, and Din turns back to the vendor before you can even remember the conflict he was attempting to defer to you.

“Yeah, just empty the whole thing in there for her,” he mutters, and you want to marry him.  It’s been a long week, and in your haze and delight of being with him in this gorgeous setting, your brain turns to cavewoman mush.  Big man, makes me happy.  Strong man, loves me, knows me.  Provider, makes me feel good, protector, loves me.

Din hands you the large cup of steaming caffeine, clueless to your grunted inner monologue but knowing better than to reach out and grab the kid from your other arm.  You’re just fine like this, hands full, the little frog snuggled up against your side and blinking up at your face instead of any of the shiny or glowing things around you.  When you look down at him, you can see the world through his eyes—quite literally, they’re reflective and gigantic—and his father’s hand quickly finds its preferred spot on your lower back.

“Try to drink it quick,” Din advises you gruffly, pulling you snug into his side and sloshing the big cupful of piping hot liquid in your hand.

“It’s a thousand degrees,” you protest, trying to balance your three favorite things in the universe all begging for your direct attention at once.  “It has to cool down.”

He gives a dismissive hm in response, and you frown even as your heart soars with how tightly he’s gripping you, how little leeway you have to even move without him.  Part of you is so thrilled at being reunited with him that you consider snarking something back at him, excitement making you brave.  He could probably chug boiling hot liquid in thirty seconds and doesn’t see the point in letting it sit any longer, and you could make some stupid joke about filtering it through his helmet or having a built in bendy straw but you decide to keep it to yourself.

So then you just stand there together, under stringed lights and flowers everywhere, and he waits.  Holding you glued to his side, completely silent and clearly just waiting for your caf to stop steaming so threateningly in your hand so you can drink it.  For some reason, the fact that he’s wanted by the New Republic doesn’t really register at this second—you’re not looking for cops, though he may be.  You’re just lost in this beautiful, fancy city that’s on the edge of finally quieting down after a long day, and you’d like to see more of it with him next to you.

“Well, do you wanna just…”  You ask, tilting your head around at all the vendors.  “Shop around for a bit?”

“Shop… around,” Din repeats slowly, sounding the words out like they’re not common Basic.  Admittedly, they do sit a bit awkward in his voice when put together like that, describing a phenomena he’s likely never even considered a thing before, but it’s so fucking pretty here and you’d like to show him something this time instead of the other way around.

“Yeah, like,” you shrug a shoulder, tipping your head in a random direction.  Anywhere, you’ll go literally anywhere with him, the three of you can go explore.  “Just wander around, and look at all the pretty things.”

From where you’re standing right now, you can already see glittering crystals and jewels being sold at the tent across the street, there’s a booth dedicated entirely to floral arrangements and crowns next to it, you can hear a distant quartet playing melodically in the distance and a couple is being painted by an artist on the corner.  Bars are in full swing at this point, as if they weren’t all day, and even though the merchandise is all different, the multicolored tents look slightly similar when they’re underlit with multicolored lights.  It’s less slightly lively than it was in the daytime, but also… more beautiful, in a sense.  Muted, softer, more romantic.

“I don’t have any more credits,” Din admits casually, finally turning to look around at everything.  You get the feeling that he’s just now seeing it, even after spending the entire day here.  “That stale caf was the last of it.”

Money well fucking spent, you can assure him of that.

“It’s okay,” you tell him automatically, gently bumping your hip into his.  “We don’t need credits, we can just look.”

So that’s what you do.  Even though it’s completely not his fucking style, for the next hour or so, you just walk around downtown with him and sip your caf, looking at anything and everything new and experiencing it with him.  At first, you think he’s just entertaining you, following you while you discover new streets and attractions, but then he points out different things and you know he's looking, too.  There are large animals harnessed up and pulling carts for people to ride, there's an enormous spinning wheel set up in the distance, its colorful lights flickering out as soon as you ask what the fuck that is and why anyone would ever get inside one.

You eventually end up finishing your caf around the time he’s leading you back through a quiet, abandoned alleyway, and you hand him the empty cup to throw away in one of the trash cans on the corner.  The conversation has faded to a comfortable quiet and you don’t really need to ask—you go willingly, not requiring anything beyond his hands on you and the baby dozing in your arms.

“Come on, sweet girl,” he murmurs, gently sweeping you up into his.  You sigh, glad he’s giving you a moment to prepare yourself this time, holding the sleeping kid securely to your chest and resting your head on his shoulder.  “Let’s go home.”

After you’re comfortable, Din rockets up from the ground and climbs high up into the canvas sky.  He disappears with you and the baby into the pastel clouds above, making it back to the Razor Crest in probably about an hour, maybe less.  You and the baby do nothing more than climb into the comfy floor blankets while Din starts up the engines, and you think you’re dozing off together by the time he makes the pit stop to collect the crib and the jump into hyperspace.

You think he might shower?  You’re not sure—you just know he moves up behind you in bed at one point without any armor, burying his face in your hair while you cuddle the sleepy kid to your chest.  It’s dark in the hull, Din’s palms are bare and warm as they slide around the front of your body and he breathes you in, and there isn’t a single place that can touch you here, not a single place you’d rather be.

Home.

***

@followwhereshegoes​ Thank you for the stunning artwork! 💕To anyone interested in possibly doing an art collab in the future, please message me!!

[akanewcrld]

1A GIRLS AS YOUR DESKMATE

notes: what it would be like to share a desk with them!! 

characters: ochako uraraka, momo yaoyorozu, kyoka jiro, mina ashido, tsuyu asui, toru hagakure 

warnings: mentions of food in tsus!!

word count: 0.8k

OCHAKO URARAKA, who passes you little notes everyday. it could be a question like “wanna hang out after school?” or just a cute drawing, but you often see a little folded paper with a heart on your desk. 

your eyes look down to find a white paper folded, with a tiny heart drawn on top. you look over to ochako, who is too busy writing down notes about the lesson to notice. 

you open the paper, reading the content inside. “hey, wanna hang out after school? :D” you take your pencil and write on her note “ofc <3” and slide it back to her. 

ochako reads the note, smiling over at you before going back to writing the notes. 

MOMO YAOYOROZU, who helps you study. if you space off in class, she will let you copy off her notes. she invites you to her dorm to help you learn everything you need to for that next test, but sometimes you’ll just hang out. 

“y/n?” you snap out of your thoughts, looking over at momo. you ask her what she needs. 

“you haven’t written down any notes.” you look at momo’s paper with half of the page already filled, then at yours, which is empty. 

“here, you can copy off mine, but pay more attention next time, y/n.” momo tilts her notebook towards you slightly, continuing to write. 

“we can also study at my dorm later, if you want.” momo tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. you nod your head in agreement, making momo smile. 

KYOKA JIRO, who gives you her airpod in a boring class so you can both listen to music. she’ll usually play loud music but sometimes you’ll convince her to turn it down so she can at least try to focus. 

you let out a sigh, only loud enough for you to hear, and jiro. she looks over at you, pulling out her airpods. she holds one out to you that you take and she starts to play music. 

you take a few minutes to not pay attention to the class, lightly tapping your feet to the rhythm of the music. once one or two songs end you turn to jiro. 

“hey, maybe we should try to pay attention a little bit, that looks like stuff we should probably know.” jiro frowns, but it’s not like you want to pay attention either. 

“yeah, you’re right.” she turns her music down some, giving you a thumbs up before she starts writing. 

MINA ASHIDO, who is always talking to you during class. it doesn’t bother you much, but aizawa often has to interrupt his teaching to tell her to pay attention. due to all of her talking, she doesn’t get the best grades, but you try your best to help her!

“hey y/n? me and the squad are gonna be hanging in my room if you wanna come! it will be fun.” mina whisper shouts. 

“sure, i will.” you smile at mina, turning back to your notes. 

“oh, did you hear that-“ 

“mina, stop talking in my class, or i will send you to detention.” aizawa clears his throat, going back to his lesson. 

“i’ll tell you later..” mina tries to focus on the lesson, visibly confused. 

“i could help you later if you want.” mina nods in agreement. 

TSUYU ASUI, who is always giving you little snacks and sometimes packs your lunch for you. sometimes she’ll even bring homemade food, which tastes very good. 

your stomach grumbles quietly. you forgot to eat breakfast and it’s the class before lunch. you stare at the clock, willing it to go faster. 

“y/n, are you hungry, kero? i made some homemade cookies if you want one.” your eyes light up at tsu’s words and you eagerly nod your head. 

tsu hands you a cookie which you take a bite of. “mmm!” you whisper, taking another bite. tsu puts her cookies away. 

“im glad you like them, kero.” 

TORU HAGAKURE, who always lets you borrow her school supplies. pencils, highlighters, erasers, anything you need. 

“alright class, take out you pencil and notebook. you’re gonna need it.” your teacher says. you grab your notebook from your bag, searching for a pencil as well. 

hagakure taps you on the shoulder. “y/n? here, take this.” she gives you a pencil which you accept. “thanks hagakure!” you smile at her. 

“do you need a highlighter too? fee free to use mine.” hagakure has a few highlighters lined up on the desk in the middle of you and her. 

“you’re really awesome for letting me use your school supplies hagakure, thanks.” you tell her at the end of class

“o-oh, it’s nothing. just trying to help out a friend.”

[linawritesfanficandmore]

Why the Hell Red-Haired Shanks is Here?:

Summary:

Perona and Zoro were shocked at seeing Shanks in the castle. Then they learn about two major secrets. (Zoro and Mihawk have a father-son moment about love too)

Notes:

Okay okay firstly last two days I was searching on source material which means fanart and headcanons and fanfics so I kinda lost myself and forgot to write but here we start ready go

////

Perona had been on Kuraigana Island for more than two months, and she had generally gotten used to her new life. Even if it was very difficult at first… Zoro and Mihawk were both uncute and at times rude, but for the most part, they were nice to her. Although Zoro was still lost from time to time, his body gradually got used to the castle. In this way, Perona had stopped following him constantly.

They even had a certain routine. Mihawk and Zoro were going to training before breakfast before Perona woke up. Meanwhile, if Perona woke up, she was making breakfast for them and herself, and if not, Mihawk would prepare and wake her up. Then there were the first wine hours of the day with Mihawk. They were doing this mostly to torture Zoro. Mihawk was forcing Zoro to cook their lunches. While teaching him how to eat a healthy diet in this way, he was also educating him in other areas as well, although she didn't quite understand why. Then they were going to training again. Perona was following them in order not to be alone. When they were done with the day, Perona was tending to Zoro's injuries that day, sometimes helping Mihawk with dinner. They ate their dinner together as they did every meal. Sometimes they were talking and sometimes it was quiet, which was pretty annoying, but as she said, she got used to it.

But Perona was for some reason very restless today. All-day long she had felt as if there was a stranger in the castle. But neither she nor her ghosts could see anything. So she tried to calm herself down and sleep, but she couldn't. So she decided to wake up Zoro, but he was already awake and he was aware of the situation. Seeing Perona, they agreed without speaking and decided to search the castle. Without waking Mihawk because a newly awakened Mihawk was not a good Mihawk.

***

But there was something they didn't know. Mihawk was already awake. On top of that, he knew very well what the awkward situation was, because it was in his routine, too. Red-Haired Shanks… The truth was that Mihawk and Shanks were mates and were seeing each other every few months. Sometimes more often, sometimes less. This time it was Shanks who visited.

“For a sun-loving man like you, it must have bothered you to stay in the shadows all day, Red-Haired.” “Hawk-eyes… WHAT THE HELL?! Why are the Pirate Hunter Zoro and a strange pink flying girl in your castle?!” “It just happened. Roronoa will be training under me for two years, but I'm not sure about Perona." “Are you training Zoro? Are you?!" “He is a passionate man. It is so hard to find.” “Two years huh? So that's what Luffy decided…” “Did you know that they were a pack?” “Huh? Luffy formed a pack? I told him not to though. Take me as an example…” “Your student… No, your son will follow a different route than you, but of course, the pack complicates things. During his first weeks here, he suffered from separation sickness, apart from his wounds.” “Separation sickness is really hard… Even I had a hard time getting used to it…” “Me too…” “So?” "So what?" “What are you thinking about them? Will you tell them? I mean I could easily hide but…” “I am not thinking anything about them besides one of them being my student and the other one being a noisy woman. And I will tell them. As much as I want it to stay hidden they will be here a quite long time and it would be unfair to you. Unless you…” “Omegas are more intuitive than Alphas.” "Yes…" “And I feel that those two will be important to you. So it's okay. You can say both things.” "Are you sure?" "Yes." “And…” "And what?" “What were you doing?” “Oh… I was with Marco.” “Phoenix?” “Yeah.” “How is he?” “He is in ruins. What do you expect but if anyone can get through this, it's him. I have known him for a long time. He will be okay.” “Hmm… You are worrying about Straw-hat right?” “How can I not? His brother…” “Don't worry. He is strong and not stupid as I thought. Besides I could tell you if anything bad happened. Zoro would feel it.” “Yeah… Whatever… Now I've come all the way, won't you call me to bed?” "Aren't you old?" "Hey! You are older than me and I wasn't talking about that geez. just sleep. Together!”

Mihawk grinned slightly. Unlike himself, his mate loved skin contact.

“Well, come here. Tomorrow will be a long day.” “Horray!”

So the two of them fell asleep beautifully. While hugging each other…

*** Perona and Zoro had not slept all night, searching the castle. They looked everywhere except Mihawk's sleeping room. That's why they fell asleep in a corner of the dining room in the morning from exhaustion. Mihawk was of course aware of this. Before he woke up his mate, he got up and made breakfast. Then he decided to wake the children.

“Roronoa, Noisy-woman! Wake up!”

Both woke up startled.

“W-what?” “What is the smell?” “Breakfast is ready. Change your clothes and come to the table.” “But what about training?” “Today is special. We'll make up for it later. We have a guest. Now go.”

He decided to wake his mate after they were both gone, but when he went to the room he saw Shanks already changing.

"Do you need help?" “Hahaha, Hawk-eyes. Don't underestimate me for being one-armed, but you're right. Sometimes I think it's easier for me to fight than to change." “Whatever. The kids are awake and breakfast is ready.” "You call them kids? I see I see...

He saw Mihawk rolling his eyes so he laughed once again.

I'll be there in five minutes." “Okay.”

So he went back to the dining room. Zoro and Perona had already taken their place.

“First of all, I believe that you will behave properly in front of our guest today. Secondly, you cannot tell anyone about his presence here or what you will learn later. Know what I mean?" “Who is he?” “You will see Perona.” “Okay.” “Whatever. I don't care about your lover.” “Ahhh… You are really troublesome.” “Huh? What do you call me?!” “I call you what you are.”

Perona was used to the two of them bickering. Just like Mihawk got used to their bickering, or Zoro got used to the other two. Such was their dynamic. Differences… That's why she started to drink orange juice without messing with them, but she sprayed it on Zoro with the person who came in.

“WHAT THE FUCK?! WANNA DIE?!”

Zoro shouted and picked Perona up. Perona was still staring at the person who had come, ignoring him. Zoro then turned to where she was looking and, as soon as he saw, dropped Perona to the ground.

“Oh… today is already painful.” “Hahaha, Hawk-eyes you got quite a company here!”

Mihawk sent him death glares. Zoro and Perona were still staring in surprise.

“Sit down. Let me introduce you."

They both sat down as if fascinated.

“This is my mate Red-Hai-“

Mihawk was already tired enough.

“RED-HAIRED SHANKS?!!” “RED-HAIRED SHANKS?!!”

They both shouted at the same time.

“Yo! How is it going pals? okay okay. I take it over from here. As you can see we are mates.” “So you are…” “An omega. Bravo Pirate Hunter.” “And you are mate with him?” “Yes, Pinky-chan. We are mates for… How many years now Hawk-eyes?” “Nearly 18.” “You are old!” “Your Moria is way older than us!” “Yeah but he looks like it. You don't!” “I am not old. I am just 37!” “As I said, old.” “Don't mess with them, Red-Hair. You can't." "Ah…"

Shanks sighed. He was right. So they started to have breakfast. After a while Zoro:

“Did Luffy know?” “Oh. Yeah, he knew it. But only me being an omega. Not about Dracule.” “So he was looking up-“ “It is a no. Because when we met he still wasn't presented.” “Oh…” “Yeah… But I taught him quite a few lessons. Although he seems to ignore one of the most important.” “He said you saved his life.” “Yeah… He is important to me.” “He didn't let anyone talk bad about you. We met Buggy-“ “You met Buggy! We have our conflicts.” “Yeah. He seems to hate you.” “He kinda does. Hahaha! So Zoro… How is Luffy?” “Keep going… Not at his best but… He will be okay. He will come back much stronger than before. We all will. Then everybody will know the name of Straw Hats.” “You trust your captain that much?” “Luffy is the only man that I will take order.” “He really found a good crewmate.” “We all are. We are a strong pack." “Hmm… Good then. Nothing to worry about.” “Yeah…”

After this conversation, their breakfast continued in silence, but the two young people saw the love between them very well. Mihawk was passing Shanks' favorite things from his plate to his. Shanks was smiling at him too. Perona didn't know whether to find it cute or disgusting. Zoro was confused. After breakfast, he had decided to clear his confusion.

“Psst. Perona!”

Zoro called out in a whisper. Likewise with Perona:

“What, uncute?” “Can you stall the Red-Hair?” “Are you kidding? Please tell me it is a joke. You do realize he's an emperor, right?" “Yes.” “What do I get in this?” “I will let you dress me for the whole week.” “Month.” “No.” “Then no.” “Offf… Okay.” “Yes!”

Then she flew to Shanks:

“Shanks-san! Can we talk for two minutes? You know I'm stuck in this big dark nasty castle with two wild alphas and as an omega-"

While Perona was distracting Shanks, Zoro had gone to Mihawk.

"Can we talk?" “We talk in training.” "No. It's a bit… Special…”

Mihawk glanced at the people behind and said:

“Okay. Come with me.”

Together they went to one of the rooms of the castle. Mihawk poured himself a glass of wine. As much as Zoro wanted to, Mihawk had strict rules.

“Now talk.” “I wanted to know… You and him… I mean…” “I met him at the execution of Gold Roger. There was a rivalry between us. I even learned that he was an omega a few years later. Don't ask how. Actually, being a mate was not in our plan. We were both drunk. We regretted it the next day. At least for a while. We both wanted it, we just ignored it. Being mate made that clear, and we've been together ever since.” “To mate with your opponent…” “It is not as difficult as it looks.” “There is someone in my crew that I see as my rival. An omega…” "Cook?" “Yeah…” “So?” “I don't know what I am feeling about him. He helped me…” “He helped you?” “Do you remember my wounds when I first came here?” "Yes." “I needed a recovery rut after that. He… He helped me…” “He probably likes you.” “WHAT?! How do you know that?!” “You said he helped you. Not everyone would do that.” “Yes but we all helped our captain during his recovery heat as a pack. I am his pack. Is not it the same?” “Did you all help your captain sexually?” “No. He is not a sexual person. I think he is on the asexual spectrum.” “Interesting. How about you? Did he help you sexually?”

With the question, Zoro blushed. Mihawk got his answer.

“You can go now Roronoa. It's a day off. We will start your training again tomorrow.” "But I didn't get my answer." “You will figure it out.” “But-” “Go! I wanna day with my mate.” “Okay… Thanks…” “You are welcome.”

Shanks entered just after Zoro left.

“Young love?” “Oh… He doesn’t even realize.” “Well, you know… We didn't either.” “What Perona asked?” “About that. I heard that you forbade Zoro from using suppressants." “Yes. He should learn haki without any distractions.” “The poor girl must be dying of pheromones. If you're going to do that, Perona shouldn't be using suppressants either." "Both would be hard to control and alpha-" “No no no. Don't give me that lecture. Alphas this alphas that. She didn't even have one nest. You know how important nests are.” “I only have nest for you.” “Well if you let her stay here then you will have a nest for her too and off suppressants.” “But-” “No, but Dracule.” “Okay. What should I do?" “It depends on how Pinky-chan wants to spend her heat. If she wants to spend them with someone, you will take her to the nearest island. Then you will get her back. Did you understand?" "Yes." “Same for Zoro.” "But…" “Zoro also has a right to have his ruts painless. Besides, they're not together yet." “Okay.” “I will visit more often.” “It would be nice to see you more.” “Yeah. You guys need it. Now you will come to nest with me.” “Really? Right now?” “Right now!”

So the two lovers went to their rooms.

*** “Have I stalled enough?” "Yes." “What did you talk about?” “None of your business.” “You are really annoying. Anyway, I can't still believe they are mates. When I saw him I thought ‘Why the Hell Red-Haired Shanks is Here?’.” “Yeah. me too. But it kinda makes sense.” “Oh totally. I wonder if I will meet my mate like them.” “You will and if somebody breaks your heart I will cut them.” “Oh… You know you are sometimes cute but in a bad way.” “Whatever. Let's prepare dinner for them." “Yeah. For love!” “Disgusting.” “You are the one. Go get a shower before everything.” “No.” “Oh, You will. We have a month and I will make sure you get your shower too.” “It wasn't our deal.” “It was. Go now.”

Even though Zoro grumbled, he did as he was told. These two years were going to be very interesting.

Related Fic

Part 1 of Goth Fam

[helioshellion]

Hi im only halfway through chapter 2 of phantasmagoria and it might be the most difficult thing ive ever read, from the top theres been a lump in my throat that i couldnt swallow down , watching kiryu work himself down to the bone and then even harder than that just for haruka to have something anything ... like its so genuinely heart wrenching he reminds me of my own dad and its ... so so hard to be alive... this is also a bit funny but a lot of people admit to making kiryu drag his starved body around during the games but this guy didnt eat breakfast and forgot to pack lunch and he still has enough energy to get fired. Youve crafted the perfect dual protagonist sequel to y0 , between majima’s million yen that hes determined to squander and kiryu scraping together his pennies ... majimas utter lack of purpose or direction and kiryus singleminded determination ... perfectly balanced. Just thank you for writing it you are so talented

This is legit so. Sweet and kind and I’ve put so much. Care into phanto and I’m glad people are enjoying it. I wanted to put a large focus on their parallels, simultaneous events that are opposites yet all the same. And of course I put a focus on Kiryu as a extremely low income father and what that can do to both him and his kid (Guy who was raised in low income household) and show Kiryu at his barest, fresh out of prison and the Tojo clan.

Basically thank you so much!! I love phanto so much and I hope you enjoy the rest of the read.

[jupitersmiles]

haikyuu boys as

little things i think they’d do with you

a/n: this is pure chaos and was built off of a single intrusive thought that has extended into something bigger (yeah it was the one about screaming HAGASH) i love all of these. and yes, one of tadashis was inspired off of strawberry mentos !!

also this is my first time making one of these and im not too confident with it so if you have any feed-back for the kitchen, let me know !!

KARASUNO

─ kōshi sugawara

◟ gives up his seat on the bus for you <3 

◟ lets you ramble on for hours. you’re rambling and sometimes you hesitate because you’re scared you’re talking too much, but he just smiles at you and tells you “go on, im listening.”

◟ plays the tambourine for you during karaoke, occasionally joining in to sing the lyrics with you

◟ buys you lunch when you don’t have one

( bonus: if you forgot yours, he’ll share his with you. he does not care if you say no, hes sharing and thats it. he’d also bring you lunch if you were in a different club/place as him, if possible )

─ asahi azumane

◟ he !!! he plays with your hair when you get anxious !!!

◟ also absent-mindedly fiddles with your hand/fingers :,)

◟ he likes to compare hand sizes with you

◟ lets you sleep on his shoulder on the bus !!

( bonus: one time, after practice, he and you sat beside eachother on the bus. you were both exhausted, and before you knew it, your head was on his shoulder, and his head was atop of yours. sugawara took a photo of it and teased asahi for it HAHA asahi still asked for it and made it his background on his phone )

◟ sometimes you catch him staring at you and he just quietly mutters, “can i kiss you?”

◟ sometimes the both of you wake up at dawn just to scream at the sunrise. when he’s frustrated and doesnt know what to do or how to express it, he just goes to his roof top and just... screams. the both of you thought of it as therapeutic and honestly, it felt rejuvenating

─ yū nishinoya

◟ SCREAMS song lyrics with you

◟ the type to go on 7-eleven runs at 1am to get slushies and go on spontaneous road trips to the city with you

◟ also the type to run over to your house when its pouring rain and you’re sad. he’ll stand outside and wait for you to unlock the door for him.

( bonus: one time he and you got into an argument-- it was over something dumb, and it spiraled out of control. to apologize to you, he ran over to your house, held a boom-box up, and started playing stupid romance music whilst screaming “im sorry” and, “i love you” at the top of his lungs. you ended up forgiving him LMAOIASU )

◟ makes you laugh at 2:30 in the morning because you were feeling anxious </3

─ tobio kageyama

◟ teases you for small things but ends up apologizing a million times when you act upset

◟ gets really annoyed when he has to untangle his headphones so he has you untangle them for him

he’s baffled by how easily you disentangle them. appreciates it way more than he should, its gotten to the point where he just wordlessly hands them to you and waits HAGJHSA

◟ bashfully holds your hand

hes so awkward about it sometimes :(( he tries to reach for your hand, hesitates, goes for it again......

◟ gives you blunt compliments all of the time LMAO

─ kei tsukishima

◟ rests his head on top of yours just to make fun of your height

◟ pokes fun at you when you’re mad at a videogame

◟ he covers your eyes and gives you forehead kisses

he’s kind of embarrassed to let you see him do it directly LMAO

◟ he holds your hand in crowded places because he’s scared of losing you to the mass of bodies he wont admit to this even though you know it

◟ sometimes he claims he doesnt know what you’re talking about just to watch you struggle to explain it even further. he always knows what you’re talking about, he just thinks its cute when you’re a bit exasperated and pouty

─ tadashi yamaguchi

◟ always scared to kiss you because he doesnt want to fuck it up

◟ takes you out for ice cream at ungodly hours of the night because you asked. he’s always tired in the morning, but he doesn’t mind

◟ he likes to eat your favorite candy so when you kiss, it tastes like them

◟ takes you to on silly and cute dates !! 

◟ stands on the edge of the sidewalk so you’re not in danger 

◟ gives you giggly kisses !!

FUKURŌDANI

─ kōtarō bokuto

◟ absent-minded touches <33 he doesnt mean to startle you, but he just wants to feel you there beside him. whether it be brushing his hand against yours, holding your hand, playing with your fingers... baby just loves to know you’re right there beside him

◟ stays up late until you fall asleep because he just wants to talk to you

◟ reciprocates your rambles !! when you get going on a topic, he will happily listen and/or provide his own opinions

◟ will talk to you about animals for hours

◟ takes you to the zoo specifically to pet the goats 

◟ holds your hand on rollercoasters, especially if and when he gets scared of the tall drops

◟ spontaneous facetime calls at any hour !! 

◟ lets you ride in the shopping cart and he pushes you around, vice versa !! 

he’s crashed into things more times than you can remember, but neither of you mind !! the employees, however....

─ keiji akaashi

◟ insists on buying you that one thing you loved even if you say you dont want or need it that much 

◟ HE READS !! YOU !! TO !! SLEEP !!

◟ answers your 4am calls and listens to you when you’ve had a nightmare :(

◟ takes you on picnic dates. he’ll pick you up and he’s already packed snacks and lunches !! 

◟ gives you wrist kisses <3

INARIZAKI 

─ astumu miya

◟ plays footsies with you while on a date LMAOSHAK

◟ looking at you with suppressed laughter when hearing a reference to a private joke. one of you always ends up busting out with laughter whilst others remain confused as to what was so funny

◟ watches movies with you, even if he doesn't like them

◟ plays games with you COMPETITIVELY. sometimes he shoves you to get an advantage when hes losing like the cheater he is

◟ has playful arguments with you about board game rules. he often says that you “rigged the game” because you were winning, or vice versa. 

you always accuse him back, though, given he has tried to make you fail numerous times

◟ he takes you on late night drives all of the time. sometimes, the two of you will park on the side of the road, headlights on and the radio playing your favorite song. he’ll drag you out of the car and dances with you, albeit sloppily, but the both of you are laughing and having fun :,)

─ osamu miya

◟ makes you homemade breakfast, lunch, or dinner

◟ he slow dances with you in the kitchen when its way too early in the morning. you’re both just lazily swaying back and forth, but it doesnt make it any less special

◟ has you taste test food for him <3 

◟ loves to cook with you. sometimes in the morning when he wakes up after you, he’ll find you in the kitchen, bed head and all, making something for breakfast. he wordlessly joins you, slack in his own pajamas, and you both exchange sleepy “good mornings” and tired smiles as you work your way in the kitchen

BONUS

─ takanobu aone

◟ wordlessly ties your shoes for you when he notices they’re untied

◟ loves to listen to you ramble. he isnt much of a talker, but when he hears you going on about something you love, see’s the way you’re glowing with passion... he swears he falls even more in love every time

◟ COMPARES HAND SIZES ALL. OF. THE. TIME. SOMETIMES HE DOESNT EVEN MEAN TO BUT IT BRINGS HIM SO MUCH JOY

◟ also loves to absent-mindedly hold your hand <3

[pillow-anime-talk]

genshin month ; third day.

synopsis: You and your fiancé started spending less and less time together.

# tags: scenario; current relationship; romance; mild angst; also fluff; sfw with suggestive ending

includes: female reader ft. albedo & sucrose {genshin impact}

author’s note: it’s time for some fucking angst but with happy end, friends.

You packed a delicious-looking breakfast into a special bamboo box, and then wrapped both the beautifully scented bento and the paper bag with chocolate cookies in a much larger piece of colorful fabric to make it all more convenient to carry. A proud smile graced your face as you turned to greet Albedo, whose footsteps you heard in the distance.

“Hello, darling.” You greeted him warmly and then felt a sweet kiss in the middle of your hot forehead. “Breakfast is on the table, and here, I packed your dinner. Please, eat it later, okay?” You added softly, touching his delicate skin on his cheek by your left hand, and the man nodded gently, after a while, however, nestling your body into his slightly larger and warmer. “Huh? Something happened?”

“Well... I know, I promised you that today we will spend some time together and go for a walk, but I will have to stay longer at work.” He confessed hesitantly, and you sighed under your breath.

“After all, you are our Chief Alchemist, I’m not really surprised. Has Jean commissioned you to do something important?” Curious, you asked, and he shook his head, which made you a bit confused. So you raised an eyebrow, gesturing for him to answer you truthfully.

“Sucrose asked me to help her with alchemy, so I’ll stay with her a little longer to help her master some of the things.” He admitted calmly, and your expression becomes blank. Ah, right. You could have figured out that the reason for all of this is your fiance’s helper, Sucrose.

You moved away from his body, then sighed; nevertheless, a weak smile appeared on your face. Not very honest, but Albedo didn’t seem to notice it.

“It’s okay, love. Let’s go eat our breakfast. I made your favorite vegetable and mushroom omelets.”

{ ･ﾟ✧ }

Hours after Albedo left the house, you realized that you forgot to add a thermos with coffee to his large bento. You decided to quickly fix your mistake and prepared his favorite, strong drink. You also took some fresh fruit and packed it in a small cloth bag. On its front there was a beautiful bouquet that you had embroidered yourself a few days earlier.

Even though you were confused by the behavior of your lover, you couldn’t stop worrying about him. He was the most important person for you, he was your beloved second half, he was also the best human you have ever met, so you wanted to repay him for looking after you and making sure that nothing bad would ever happen to you. Albedo cared for you as best he could and you appreciated it like nothing else in the world. However, for a long time you have had the impression that this care and interest in you begins and ends in your shared home, where no one is looking, where no one is allowed to enter.

Your weekly walks around the city were a thing of the past, and you didn’t want to ask for them every time. Your ‘family’ lunches were no longer shared lunches, because you ate them alone while the twenty-two-years-old was in his lab or carrying out his missions. Your tenderness was limited to kisses on the forehead, and you missed kisses on the mouth, on the nose, on other parts of the body. Not to mention about long baths together or time spent in bed (not necessarily reading books, but something... more intimate).

Nevertheless, you weren’t particularly angry, maybe a bit disappointed, but you didn’t feel angry with your partner. The only thing you could feel at that time was your concern about whether Albedo takes care of himself and takes care of his daily menu or the right amount of water consumed throughout the whole day.

The road to the place where the young man’s laboratory was located took you less than twenty minutes. Along the way, you greeted the inhabitants of Mondstadt, who, seeing you, wished you a nice day and asked you to greet, quoting their words, ‘The Great Captain’. At the sound of their joyfull voices you smiled slightly, nodding your head and promising you would do it. And as soon as you got to the right place, you quietly entered the building. You wanted to say ‘Good afternoon’ to your loved one and green-haired teenager, but instead you almost felt that the bag of products falling out of your hands.

You knew Albedo cherished you and would never cheat on you, but it hurt to see him leaning forward next to Sucrose. It seemed that his lips were about to touch her cheek or temple, and it hurt as badly as any other form of cheating. He had so much fun with her and their alchemy, so many topics to talk about, from work to missions they were given, and you? All you two could talk about was only... Yeah, was what?

“Umm... Albedo?” Your peaceful voice spread over the fairly large room, and two people next to the wooden table looked up at your standing figure. “I forgot to pack your coffee in the morning... I’ll put it here and I won’t disturb you two anymore. Don’t overstraining yourselves, okay?” Your faint smile covered a broken voice and trembling lips. “Good luck with your work and study. Do your best.”

You quickly put the silvery thermos and colorful fruit on the dark cabinet, and just as quickly left the room. Albedo, seeing your figure disappearing, apologized to his assistant, and she nodded. But before the blonde alchemist left the room, Sucrose grabbed him by the black sleeve of his clothes and laughed shyly.

“Mr. Albedo, I don’t think I need any extra lessons today, though. We can arrange a different date. Will it be okay?” Her girlish voice reached his ears, and he mechanically agreed, breathing blissfully. “Thank you. Please keep Mrs. Y/N company tonight. I think she misses you really much.”

The knight wanted to answer, but instead he ran after you, catching you up almost at the exit of the brick building. He took your sad face slowly between his all, long fingers and you frowned.

“Why are you leaving? You’re always welcome here, darling.”

“I just don’t want to disturb you two, Albedo. I don’t fit here.” You admitted finely, and your gaze shifted to the mahogany panels under your feet. “Sometimes I wonder why you are with me. I don’t even understand alchemy, you can’t talk to me about it. You should... Maybe you should be with Sucrose? Or with another woman who shares your hobbies...?” You asked tenderly, and he opened his eyes wider, pulling your body into a warm embrace.

“I never thought of leaving you for someone else, dearest. Why are you talking about this at all? What happened?”

Your eyes met his deep blue orbs again, and you shrugged timidly.

“Currently, Sucrose is closer to you than I am. I thought you were bored with me. Moreover – I don’t thi...”

A precious kiss on your blueberry-tasting lips silenced your thoughts and at the same time caused a tiny blush on your both cheeks and ear tips.

“Sucrose is my successor, it’s true. But, my love. You are my future wife and you’re definitely more important to me than she is. Please don’t ever think that I will leave you for someone else. You are the best thing... no, you’re the best person that enter to my life and I love you very, very much. Also... Sucrose always asks about you and says she wants to be like you. Like someone who know how to cook or bake, sew clothes and plushies, make beautiful hairstyles like the ones on my head. She admires you as someone admires their mother. Sometimes I have the feeling that she would rather be your apprentice than mine.” He laughed cutely, and you looked at him in big surprise. After a short while, however, you nodded, resting your head on his smooth neck. “... I know I’ve been neglecting you lately and I’m ashamed of it, but now I promise to make it up to you. Therefore, let’s go home and tomorrow we’ll go for a walk to the lake or for a picnic.”

“Huh? But your job? Extra-curricular activities...? And what about...”

“Don’t think about anything. We’re done now so let’s go, dear. I have to show you how different you are from other people when it comes to my feelings.” Suddenly his mouth was right next to your left ear, and warm breath wrapped around your face. “And I don’t promise you’ll fall asleep tonight.”

“... A-Albedo!”

previous day ; aether ♡ next day ; keqing

[sn3ka]

Shouta Aizawa (alpha) x GN!Reader (omega)

So I'm like actually really nervous posting this since this is my first fanfic and my anxiety keeps tell me its horrible but I still wanna share!!!! Its mostly just like filler? Fluff? At the end it mentions the readers 'heat' so soft lewd but I wanted to post this first to see if it was even worth it to continue working on it

Also there is like multiple ways to spell his name and my brain can't handle it--

I also didn't give the reader a quirk and I couldn't decide what Aizawa should smell like so you get to pick I guess lol

I guess I'll take suggestions/requests??? But I do have a right to reject any I don't feel comfortable doing (I'm also very busy)

__________

You were a teacher aid at UA and mostly was in Aizawa's class, you did occasionally help with teaching but you were mostly there to help any students having troubles understanding the work and you offered tutoring after school hours mostly in the dormitory lounge area but occasionally at cafes with students that were more shy about getting help.

Aizawa's demeanor clashed with yours, he was stern and reserved, while you were usually 'perky' though you were relaxed. There were times when even you gave a death glare that definitely made everyone shut up and pay attention, luckily you didn't have to use it often.

Shota was secretly proud of your progress as a teacher aid since at first you were very timid and would get nervous when a student needed help which made you subconsciously give off a slightly sour smell even with the scent blockers you were taking he could still get a small whiff of your anxiousness.

He wouldn't admit that he liked being in your presence and liked your sweet scent that you released when you were content/proud with yourself but to the other teachers they could see his slight favoritism towards you when having a teacher aid (mainly because he only let a few teacher aids assist before stating whether he would accept them or not and you were the only one he accepted, of course no one had told you this)

He also seemed to be softer around you which Yamada Hizashi (Present Mic) noticed almost immediately and would tease him about when they were alone

It had been a normal day basically a routine, you get up, take a shower and get dressed, have a quick breakfast, take your scent blockers and then leave your complex after checking you had everything while you lock your door and ride your bike to work.

Once you got at UA and confirmed you were a employee with a small badge you were let in and you quickly lock up your bike heading into the school going to the staff room and sat down before you realized that you had forgotten to pack lunch, you involuntarily let out a small whine very softly only Aizawa looking up from his desk giving you a raised eyebrow

You blush a bit realizing what you did and laugh it off and started to help grade assignments for class. You left notes on some papers of encouragement and some helpful feedback for when someone got a answer wrong.

You weren't quite done with grading while you heard someone calling your name and you look up seeing Aizawa "Y/N it is almost time for class" you nod smiling and trying to push down your urge to breathe in his lovely scent as you get up grabbing all the papers that have graded and also the ones you haven't

Shota say you picking up your papers and sighed to himself as his alpha desperately wanted to take them from you and to show his strength

"I'm ready Aizawa-sama!" You smiled brightly at him before he starts to walk to the class and you follow closely behind, he wanted to tell you that you could call him with a more friendly tone but decided not to

You both had desks by each other and you waved to what students who were already filling the classroom shortly after you two walked in. You decided to take the upgraded papers from Shota's desk and focus on them while he taught class and let Iida make sure the class stayed focus while he went into his sleeping back laying down. You always giggled to yourself whenever you say him do that but switched your attentions back to your grading silently as the classroom was filled with small chatter.

You didn't notice that it was lunch until you saw students leaving and that Shota was sitting in his chair now calling to you

"Hey Y/N"......"Y/N?"

"H-huh? Oh sorry I was focused heheh what do you need Aizawa-sama?"

He grunted a soft displeased noise as he ,secretly wishing you paid that much attention to him, said "take a break already its lunch" it took you a few minutes to process what he said and you just shyly look away and nod softly

"Sorry I guess I got caught up didn't I?..." before he could respond your stomach growled and you were immediately flustered while he just stared at you thinking about how cute your were and how he couldn't wait to make you his omega

You both had a small understanding of each other about appreciating the quiet. He shot you a glance "aren't you gonna get your food?" He had pulled a snack out of one of his desk drawers "ah... I uh....." he waited patiently for your response as he suddenly smelled a soft scent of distress which his alpha immediately wanted to jump to you and calm you down with purrs but Shoto resisted the urge as you quietly mumbled "I forgot to pack it...." he thought to himself about offering some of his snacks as his alpha wanted to prove himself by providing for you

You smiled as you mostly went back to your normal scent "its okay though heheh I'm not that hungry anyway so I'm just gonna get something from a vending machine" you explained while you got up and left the classroom but Aizawa had noticed that you were off all day and that you probably took more than your normal scent blockers but decided not to think about it while he ate his snack

You where really hoping no one had smelled your pre-heat at the moment and your mind rushed wanting to make a nest back at yourself home but you knew even if you did that it would feel like it was missing something...... it would feel uncompleted unless you had something that Aizawa had scented, being embarrassed by your own thoughts of wanting to have your long term crush finally scent you and gave you some much needed love. You decided to let your omega have a small victory by getting a sweet snack from the vending machine

Walking back you saw you were getting some strange looks and you were confused until a particular cocky student tried to flirt with you and thats when you realized oh shit they could smell it

You were surprised that they could smell it even with your scent blockers but you immediately BOOKED IT to the classroom quickly eating your snack as you ran in

Shoto was surprised to see you rush into the classroom but kept his poker face but soon realized that you were distressed by the overwhelming sour scent. He began to walk to you but not before you hid under his desk and let out a distressed chirp, his alpha was screaming at him and he increased his own scent in the classroom to hide yours and calm you at the same time

Crouching down he gave you a headpat calming you down "sorry just I am uh...." you don't think you could look at your crush while you were getting the courage to tell him that you were in preheat

You let out a surprised chirp when you saw him lean in and you immediately wanted to kiss him but you blushed when he leaned towards your scent gland (on your neck) and sniffed it you subconsciously moved your neck so he would get more access to it shutting your eyes nervously biting down on your lip

"You are close to your heat aren't you?" It was hard to control himself and keep his calm demeanor while your sweeter than normal scent filled his nose all the while his alpha wanting to help you with those needs thinking to himself no wonder you were off al day

You nod softly and looked at him to see what kind of face he had and you couldn't lie that you had been happy to see a small tint of blush on his cheeks

"I forgot to keep track sigh I only realized because I was getting stares from some of the stronger alpha students"

He immediately wantedto bring you home so you could nest and be protected but then realizedit might be too far away...."How close is your home?"

You mumbled quietly "not that close" which wasn't a complete lie it wasn't the closest place to the school but it was closer than most teachers

Aizawa had to think to himself, would you be okay at his place? Did he even have enough nesting materials? While he was pondering he never stopped head patting you forgetting about how close you two were until you couldn't control yourself from your encouraging omega saying go for it so you shamelessly moved your head into his chest clutching his shirt tightly hoping he wouldn't be repulsed by you and which how could he? You were just so cute but he still froze up for a split second by the sudden contact before wrapping his arms around you patting your back now instead and released comfort pheromones all the while you just breathed in his irresponsible scent (more so than before)

He practically whispered into your ear "I'll bring you to my home and keep you safe Y/N"

_________

I hope you enjoyed!!! If not I'm sorry???