#I first wanted to put “N/A” on the season mostly cuz where I live it's 30°C out no matter the time of the year

[debellatis]

Tag Game - Show Yourself As:

Tagged by @gabessquishytum <3 Thanks for remembering me

Tagging @samsalami66, @pluckyyoungdonna, @ghostboyjules, @babbleismysuperpower and @lost-and-cursed for this one ✌️😗

[letterstothemidnightsociety]

Alright, so if you've been following along with me, Supernatural season 3 starts out on a trio of episodes that are Really Fun, slides into some episodes that are Pretty OK, then takes a real nose dive into Bummersville. Hoo boy guys, I really hope that this season picks up. I mean, it won’t, but I can still dream. 2021 was maybe not the year to start watching this season. Fair warning.

The next three episodes for this season are just, like, real downers. First we get “Fresh Blood,” which, aside from the terrible title, starts out on a high note. Gordon (gross) somehow manages to catch up with Bela (HOW??) and threatens her if she doesn’t hand over the Winchesters. Bela, in all of her class and grace, won’t give them up because she has a high price point and Gordon is really lowballing her here. Just like, yes, ok, please stay forever, you’re amazing and I love you. And what a scene this is! You have two characters, one with a strict moral code (albeit one that allows for violence and winning at all costs) and the other with almost NO moral code, but an allegiance that can be bought with the best price and it’s such a fun back and forth until Gordon pulls out a gun. And then she pulls out her phone and just has Dean on speed dial and that’s maybe my fav part. Bela has run into the Winchesters twice and they maybe legit hate her but she’s very much like, oh yeah, my BFF’s the Winchesters, I love those idiots!

I love that we come back to this moment later in the episode when Bela, like, three days later, is like, Oh! I guess I should warn the Winchesters that some crazy guy is after them! She’s just so casual about it you kind of get the feeling that, even though technically Gordon was threatening her life, she doesn’t view him as A Threat. She gives the Winchesters a heads up just to be like oh yeah, you might want to watch out for this mild inconvenience, and she seems legit shocked when Dean freaks out. There’s this moment that plays across her face like, oh shit, did I...did I fuck up? And it adds a nice bit of depth to her character. She’s seems honestly worried, both for the lives of the Winchesters but also that Dean won’t like her anymore and that is just a charming bit of A C T I N G!

I am gonna miss her SO MUCH when she dies at the end of this season. WHY did we CANCEL HER???

But despite the fun beginning, this episode is about monsters and how people become monsters and how other people are probably the reason. Because our main baddie is a vampire who hunts to...well, listen if we look at the facts that he lays out in his monologue, it’s a little more tragic - he’s trying to replace the daughters that he lost hundreds of years ago, cool motive, still murder. In practice though, he goes around turning hot blonde coeds into vampires and then ?????? Who knows. I’d like to believe that this was a problem with the CW executives or maybe casting/directing and not with the writing, but it’s SPN and you really can’t be sure with anything. The fact is, this is a CW show from the early 2000’s and a lot of their extras are cast to type. And that’s maybe me exhibiting some girl-on-girl crime, but there are other episodes that did a much less blatantly gross job casting their extras/Very Special Guest Stars.

Anyway, the POINT of this guy is that he’s a monster because someone killed his daughter and he’s just been trying to fill that grief hole inside of him for centuries. This is not unlike Gordon, who ALSO has been trying to fill a grief hole that he’s had for decades, except he’s not killing people and resurrecting them as blood suckers, he’s just killing them. And then, when the Vamp decides to turn Gordon it’s a real sweet moment of comeuppance for like, a HOT second and then you’re like, awww dude, ya done f’ed up. That was a bad idea. You’ve made a HUGE mistake.

More importantly, our Vampire In Question finally runs into the Winchesters and get’s to say things like “I was desperate! You ever felt desperate? I've lost everyone I ever loved. I'm staring down eternity alone. Can you think of a worse hell?” and also “I just ... I didn't care anymore. Do you know what it's like when you just don't give a damn? It's like ... it's like being dead already.” and Dean’s v. much like, THIS IS TOO REAL ROY.

Sam may ALSO be feeling Too Real feelings because he is DONE dicking around with Gordon and honestly yes, I like this, this is good Sam development. It’s nice to know that Sam has a breaking point. And I admit I’m of two minds about this moment because 1) I love the idea of Dark!Sam this season and that maybe Sam’s decision to actually kill Gordon is just one step in that process but 2) I ALSO love the idea of Sam Lite finally having a breaking point and Gordon is IT. I don’t know which theory I like more in this scenario, but they are both good theories.

I think as much as this episode wants to draw parallels between the monsters and Dean (thank you artful editors), you can’t look at the “I’ve lost everyone I ever loved,” line and not think of Sam? Cuz he’s got one (1) person left in his life that hasn’t died horribly, so how desperate is he about to get through the end of this season? I’ve definitely been watching this season with eyes on all the ominous Dean foreshadowing, but the Sam foreshadowing is also there, just buried under the heavy weight of a thousand smulders and suicidal levels of denial.

And also, FUCK the tag on this episode! Guys, it is CUTE but it is also HORRIBLE. Dean starts teaching Sam how to fix the Impala and at first it’s all, “Oh! Adorable Brothers Being Brothers!” and I loved it but then I almost immediately hated it because you realize this is about making sure Sam can get along without him once he’s gone and Dean just accepts his own death with such casual ease that it’s just...INFURIATING!

This scene was rude and I HATE IT!

Cut to - “A Very Supernatural Christmas” Special!

Guys, I was so excited when I got to this episode. THIS is Classic Supernatural Shenanigans. Plus, you know a Holiday Special is the ultimate sign that this show has Made It, right? Or it could be a sign that they’re selling out, who knows, but I think we can say that at this point in the series, SPN is established enough to start having fun with their fans. That’s what this says to me. BUT THEN what we get is like...oh boy.

First - like, I’mma beat this horse to death, but what is WRONG with this FAMILY? John Winchester very quickly devolved into the sort of father that forgot about every single holiday and did not ever, even a little bit, make up for it. It’s not a surprise, but it kind of wrecked me seeing a flashback where Baby Dean is just so attached to a father who can’t be bothered to actually care for his children. I know he’s not in this episode because Jeffrey Dean Morgan was tied up in other projects, but the fact that John doesn’t show up at the end to button the flashbacks with a But then he DID show up for Christmas! just makes this plot line that more gutting. And despite Dean’s hero worship of their father, this is maybe the Christmas where Baby Sam stops believing in his own father. The only bright side to this is that it continues to enforce the fact that Bobby should have sued John for custody. Bobby should maybe STILL Sue for custody so that Dean at least would feel like someone wants him for once in his life, damnit.

And then we wrap this episode up with the Best Worst Christmas of all, because we see Sam start to...also?? accept that Dean is about to die? Cuz that’s what this episode is really about - Dean’s Last Christmas. And everything about that makes me ~ u p s e t ~.

So Sam decides to put his curmudgeonly grinchy attitude aside in order to make it a special day for Dean and ugh. UGH. UGHGHGHG. Season three is the worst guys, and I can’t believe I didn’t realize that until right this second now.

So let’s wrap this up with "Malleus Maleficarum", honestly an episode that is mostly forgettable until we get to, like, the last five minutes. Sure, witches and curses and selling your soul, woohoo whatever.

But then we get some real Ruby centric reveals and like, WHAT is happening?? First off, the scene where Ruby and Tammy have a moment is a real Moment. There is some baggage and tension here and it is heavy. And then Tammy drops the mic when she reveals that Ruby used to be human.

THEN, Ruby legit saves their asses by killing Tammy with a fancy magic knife. Ok, Dean does the actual killing, but Ruby brought the fancy magic knife. So between the hot and heavy tension with “Tammy” and her repeated attempts to keep the Winchesters alive, we’re left wondering what IS Ruby’s deal? I personally wonder how much of the show’s mythology the show actually has figured out at this point? Because interviews with Kripke definitely walk the line between “Oh we definitely have this whole thing worked out,” and “yeah, we’re sort of finding things as we go along,” which is maybe why it’s able to last as long as it does. More on that later.

Of course the big kicker is the final scene between Ruby and Dean. Dean is almost on board with Ruby at this point in the season, and much like his scene with the demon in “Sin City”, they share a kind of vulnerable moment together where Ruby admits that, yeah, she was human once and yeah, Hell will destroy you, body and soul, and yeah Dean’s worst fear will probably come true - he will become the thing he hunts, no ifs, ands or buts about it. And Dean knows that Ruby knows that Dean knows that there’s no way to save Dean from his fate, but they both agree that they can’t take Sam’s last ounce of hope away from him because, for both of them, Sam is their hope. Ruby and Dean both see the war happening around them and they know that with Dean gone, Sam’s maybe the last guy holding back the tide to save all humanity.

Which, honestly? Bull shit. Do you know how many hunters are out there? Neither do I, but this season seems to indicate that there are a LOT. We have barely scratched the surface on the hunter community and it’s a damn shame that they are all weirdo loners because there is a war going on. You know what works great in a war? An ARMY. Buncha mentally unstable, martyr-complex ijits who can’t put their differences aside for one damn MINUTE so that maybe, JUST maybe, the could actually defeat the evil they’ve spent their entire lives dedicated to fighting. And if Ruby and Dean wanted to help Sam, what they should probably do is get him plugged in to that community. I do believe that of all they backasswards, self-obsessed, painfully anti-social crazies out there, the Winchesters are THE WORST.

Listen tho, this was like, a solid scene between these two. Just a lot of work goin' into this and it paid off.

Anyway, back to the mythology for a hot second - This sort of loosey-goosey stumbling into your own world building is probably another one of those things that you’ll only really get in a show with this many episodes per season? It’s that room to play and experiment and just make stuff up as you go along. I think the slow drip method of releasing episodes ALSO helps in this scenario because you’re able to see what fans are reacting to in almost-real time. When viewers are binging episodes, I think you're less likely to see what specifically they’re reacting to and more wholistically they’re reacting to. And that’s not to say you won’t see those specific things that they like/love eventually, but by the time you get there, your season’s been produced in its entirety and you’ll have to bear that in mind for (hopefully) next season. But with SPN, they were writing and producing the show at the same time that some of the episodes were airing. That’s why they were able to make decisions on the fly, based on what fans responded to. And definitely by this point in the show, there was a sizeable and vocal fan base that made their feelings VERY well-known. We’re only in season three, but they’ve already had a number of con appearances and a pretty active online presence. That kind of feedback has got to be helpful, from a writing perspective, but it also allows for things like characters getting cut because nobody liked them for some dumb reason. BUT, if you’re fighting to stay on the air for 100 episodes or longer, responding to fan reactions is what’s gonna do it and that’s a fact.

[monkey-network]

Good Stuff Ultimate: 1st Quarter

2020 has certainly left us already crawling for next year, but I say we shouldn’t leave all the good things behind. Time for a lightning roundup, no holds barred! 3. 2.. 1…

Kipo and the Age of Wonderbeasts

I couldn’t help but describe this as “Baby’s First Fantasy Adventure” like The Dragon Prince. It looks good, colorful, imaginative enough, but nothing about the story or characters pushed me to watch past episode 3 because I’ve no doubt seen stuff like this before but more interesting. It’s a good watch no doubt, but hardly groundbreaking to me. (Grade: C+)

The Owl House

Now this was more my speed. I definitely enjoyed the various designs of monsters and average Boiling Isle citizens far more. Eda immediately became my favorite witch character. While it reminded me a little too much of Gravity Falls, I was honestly hooked for more than just it’s otherwise eye opening demonic aesthetics. (Grade: B+)

Dorohedoro

Now THIS is a post apocalyptic series I’ve been waiting for in a while. Q really put together a world worth checking out, seeing its nooks and crannies, while giving us characters worth exploring with at every angle. She especially does a great job manga-wise where the black and white makes the edgy details pop in a meaningful way. The anime itself is just as good. Brought down by some wonky action scenes and movements, but the blend of 2D and 3D worked better than the Beastars anime. (Grade: A)

Keep Your Hands Off the Eizouken!

Talked about it plenty of times before, but this is that series that just speaks for itself, manga and anime. Smooth pacing, no contrived drama bullshit, hardly leaves any loose ends, easily accessible for anyone. It's the DMC5 of anime, meaning it is the most 'anime' anime I've seen thus far. (Grade: A++) 

Duncanville

Surprisingly not a wack family sitcom. The characters are what really sell the comedy, except for Duncan himself who’s not terrible but isn’t great as the star of the show, especially compared to his mom; and it’s weird cuz they share the same VA. Plus it’s actually well animated and stylized compared to the average Family Guy knockoff. It’s worth a check out in my book. (Grade: B)

Thundercats Roar

Oh wow, a nostalgia cartoon reboot that everyone will argue over but at the end of the day, is about as average as it gets. While I can appreciate the animation when it gets dynamic during its action scenes, I came out every episode remembering nothing and moving on. If I wanted a half hour centered around safe memes or forgettable punchlines, I would’ve subscribed to Jimmy Kimmel or ankle-beez by now. (Grade: C)

Harley Quinn series

This was a left fielder for me; the trailer gave a far different impression than expected. I can definitely appreciate how they treated not only Harley’s character, her relationship with Joker vs Ivy, but the rouge gallery of DC villains and heroes. What other DC product got me to love King Shark as much as this? Plus, Harley x Ivy are the OTP, but I appreciate them giving Kite Man some respect. (Grade: A-)

Birds of Prey

I didn’t mind the movie, but it lacked that dry punch that Harley’s series gave me. It was kinda the reason why I’ve seen people say Harley was becoming DC’s Deadpool type. even when Harley was a good star of the film. Didn’t help that Black Canary and Huntress were the only other characters I liked, and I don’t wanna get into the implicating homophobia. I want to say Sionis was great, but he doesn’t work when you have both the villain and protagonist be unhinged. All in all, I’ll give it the same score I gave Deadpool 1. (Grade: C+)

Dolittle (2020)

The movie’s climax was a long dragon fart and I wanted to die. (Grade: D)

Sonic the Hedgehog (2020)

A live action video game movie about an animated character. Let me put it like this: references and fanservice is not substance, taking place in the human populace does not help the escapism, reminding me that Olive Garden sucks ass is not funny, and only being half animated is cock and ball torture. If I don’t care for realism in my video games, this DOESN’T help. It has a couple good moments, but this is mostly unimaginative, by the book, and not worth going back to. Works as a Flash movie, I guess.  (Grade: C-)

Sonic Rebuilt

Sincerely the chad Sonic film of this year. Even when it’s a reanimated version of the 90s film, the creativity every artist applies for their respective scene brings better life to the original film like with Shrek Retold. Yeah, there’s live action segments in it, but it’s part of the gag not a crux of the film’s visuals. It isn’t fully original since they use the original’s voice work and music, but everyone involved gave a genuinely good spin on the pretty overlooked feature. Plus it has a Sonic that gets shit done and has the better voice. (Grade: A-)

Ishuzoku Reviewers

Kono anime wa igaito shinsendesu. Bōru o korogashi tsudzukeru hōhō o shitte imashita. Sore wa yoi owarai de, kesshite mumide wa arimasendeshita. Itsumo mitakatta ano etchina shirīzudeshita. (Grade: A-)

Meggy’s Destiny

The plot has its low points, but this is still an entertaining short film. The characters were what kept the ball rolling and the ending was that coup de gras on the main character’s overall story arc. (Grade: B+)

Trolls World Tour

This film works better than the first to me mainly because we can focus on Trolls and their musical world rather than the Bergens who didn’t offer much. The plot is simple, but it being a multi-genre musical kept me hooked. The finale especially was that cherry on top of this bouncy film. Also Poppy is still the best. (Grade: B+)

Glitch Techs

It stands to say Men in Black meets Captain N and Pixels works well as a premise for a show, and this certainly delivered by actually being ANIMATED. I’m sorry, but can corporations soon understand that premises and ideas that work better with animation stop trying to make it live action? Also, it brought Fanboy and Chum Chum back from the dead, and that is a worthwhile achievement. (Grade: A)

Doom Eternal and Animal Crossing: New Horizons

They’re honestly the same game from what I got to play. AC was a little more stressful than Doom, especially with managing my stalks, but they were both nonetheless an all around great time so they get the same score. (Grade: A)

Steven Universe Future

Had some shit episodes, had some delightfully fun episodes, and had a half shit/half delightful finale. Pretty on par for Steven Universe but I say it’s elevated above most of the original series with the grown Steven himself. Much as I wish his character was dealt with better, I was still invested in his story nonetheless even when the fixed perspective honestly fucked over most else in this series. It’s far better than season 5, not as good as seasons 1 & 2. So yeah, I liked it and I’m gonna miss this show. (Grade: B-)

Onward

The ending doesn’t make up for a pretty middle of the road film. If I wanted a film about familiar bonding in a goofy fantasy world, I could’ve just watched A Goofy Movie. The world feels creative enough, but it’s like Pixar has been losing their touch or mostly peaked when it comes to imaginative premises. I’m hoping Soul can bounce ‘em back cuz while this isn’t the worst, certainly didn’t feel like their best. (Grade: C+)

【ＡＮＤ　ＴＨＡＴ＇Ｓ　ＴＩＭＥ！】

Well that’s all for the first quarter of 2020. Quite above average all around, certainly some worthwhile things to keep your busy while this pandemic is upon us, except Dolittle. Were there any that I missed? Probably. Let’s see where the 2nd quarter provides as we carry on into the Spring months. 

Stay safe out there, and see you in June.

[mistiedwagonfyre]

M(erry) Monday: Just Some Get to Know You Stuff...

So I got these from moonysmind so I should probably @ them... 

@moonysmind-blog

Ok, let's get this party started! 

1. Do you prefer writing with black or blue pen?

Blue if I'm writing something, black if I'm outlining a paper. But overall, black pens are my go-to just because I have more of them. I seriously need to stock up on blue pens... Also, who uses a red pen for anything other than corrections just because that's the way they've been taught? 

2. Would you prefer to live in the country or the city?

The Country. Or somewhere in the middle. I just feel like I'd be able to manage less people over more people and get to know them more personally. And, let's be honest, the country has gorgeous skies and sprawling fields and meadows. And it feels like you could take a deep breath and just absorb the atmosphere. 

3. If you could learn a new skill, what would it be?

Balance. It would help in everything because yours truly is a ball of clumsy fluff.

4. Do you drink your tea or coffee with sugar?

Heh, I drink hot chocolate with marshmallows so...

5. What was your favourite book as a child?

Anything I could get my hands on. I. Love. Books. My favorite series as a kindergartener was the Magic Tree House tho.

6. Do you prefer baths or showers?

Depends on my mood. Baths are for when I've got tons of time to just relax  and get my mind off things and showers remind me of rain and I love them too. I take showers more often but that doesn't mean anything.

7. If you could be a mythical creature, which would you choose?

This is a hard one cuz I love all things mystical and magical... 

My immediate thought was a dragon but they get killed a lot in the myths and they're almost always stuck guarding something. Then I was like, ok then. What about a phoenix? So ya, I'd be a phoenix. Don't get me wrong, I'd totally go with all the mythical creatures and just cycle through them all, just if I had to choose just one it'd be a phoenix. Maybe, since I'd technically live forever, I could meet every single mythical creature ever. That'd be pwetty cool...

8. Do you prefer reading paper or electronic books?

Paper. It's what I've grown up with. I know, classy me. Also, there is nothing quite like the smell of a new book. Just sayin'.

9. What is your favourite item of clothing?

Punny t-shirts. All I'm gonna say.

10. Do you like your name? Would you ever change it?

Yes. If I had to change it, I'd love to be Reyna or Luna. Otherwise, I'm keeping it.

11. Who is a mentor to you?

Mostly myself. I taught myself to draw, anyhow. If not me, my mom or my newest art teacher or my neighbor. 

12. Would you ever want to be famous? If so, what for?

Yes and no. I want to inspire people (whether with art or my quirky personality) but don't want the pressure that popularity and fame brings. 

13. Are you a restless sleeper? 

If being a night owl counts as restless, then yes. If being a deep sleeper when I am actually asleep doesn't, then no.

14. Do you consider yourself a romantic?

Considering I like guys who are chivalrous and funny... yes?

15. Which element best represents you?

Water. I'm chill until all my suppressed emotions rush out. You can't hold back the ocean forever. And you can't prevent the inevitable: Me being weird. Just ask my sister, she thinks I'm insane (which is probably accurate). Also, I may seem shallow on the surface, but I can actually be very deep sometimes. I could go on and on about my relationship with water, but that's a tale for another time.

16. Who do you want to be closer to?

Everyone. I love strengthening relationships with people. It makes the group stronger as a whole.

17. Do you miss someone at the moment?

Always.

18. Tell us about an early childhood memory.

I'd love too, but then storyteller Mistie will appear and this list will become infinitely longer. You'll have to ask me in my questions tab if you really want to hear one. 

19. What is the strangest thing you have eaten?

Can't decide which is weirder: Watermelon with taco seasoning or raw onion with mustard... Both are equally delicious in the summertime at a BBQ.

20. What can you see outside your bedroom window?

A ladder, some rocks, and a dead vole. My old room had a much better view... 

21. What are you most thankful for?

My Savior

22. Do you like spicy food?

Not particularly, no. 

23. Have you ever met someone famous?

Alex Boyé. He went to a really unsanitary restaurant before he came to our house one time and puked all over our newly waxed floors. I feel bad for him. Everyone but him knew not to eat at that runofthemill A&W on the way up. He still put on a mini concert for us tho and that was pretty considerate of him, because he did it even though he can't have felt like doing it.

24. Do you keep a diary or journal?

Yup. I've got entries from back in kindergarten, amazingly. Granted, back then I wrote in pictures.

25. Do you prefer to use pen or pencil?

Pencil. I'm human, I make mistakes.

26. What is your star sign?

Well, I was a Pisces. But then they discovered that there are more stars in the sky, just like there are more fishes in the sea, and just bunched a bunch of Pisces together so now I'm Aquarius. I'm still a Pisces at heart tho.

27. Do you like your cereal crunchy or soggy?

Crunchy. Better texture. Soggy cereal is oatmeal in my mind and if you want oatmeal, you actually make oatmeal, not let your cereal sit out for who knows how long. 

28. What would you want your legacy to be?

Legacy is a tricky thing. You've gotta know what people are gonna think of you down the line. I want mine to be simple: she wasn't afraid of who she was and what others would think of that. She was herself, and that's all that matters. I feel like that's the best legacy I could have for the future generations who will grow up in a world of trial and tribulation.

29. Do you like reading? What was the last thing you read?

ABSOLUTELY! I just finished Lodestar from Keeper of the Lost Cities. I shoulda read these books years ago but they're still fan-freaking-tastic! 

30. How do you show someone you love them?

I guess my love language is acts of service or whatever. So I'd probably serve them and do tons of sweet things for them. 

31. Do you like ice in your drinks?

No, it makes it all watery. Blegh.

32. What are you afraid of?

Lots of things. I just only realize when they come along and forget what they are afterwards. Sure, it may seem nice, but it makes the terror of coming into contact with them once more infinitely more terrorizing. But bugs are extremely horrifying. And so are arachnids.

33. What is your favourite scent?

Rain with freshly mowed grass and newly printed books at a campfire with Smores by the seashore. No one will ever be able to create this magnificent scent. 

34. Do you address older people by their first or last name?

Depends on how close we are.

35. If money was not a factor, how would you live your life?

Does this mean that everything is free? Well I'm gonna stockpile food and stuff and then ship them off to 3rd world countries. I'd try to save as many lives as possible. Or I could go there in person to deliver said goods... Yup. I've decided that that's what I'm gonna do!

36. Do you prefer swimming in pools or in the ocean?

Pools have a veil of safety but the ocean is much more beautiful and alive. Also, the smell of chlorine is gross. And the taste. Blegh.

37. What would you do if you found $50 on the ground?

If it looks old and worn and dirty like it's been there a while, imma take it. Chances are whoever lost it has been long gone so I can actually take that $50 w/o feeling guilty. Otherwise I'd leave it there.

38. Have you ever seen a shooting star? Did you make a wish?

Heh, I used to wish on airplanes, satellites, and planets because I thought they were 'special stars'.

39. What is one thing you would want to teach your children?

To be kind, even when it is inconvenient. I don't know how many times someone has held the door open for me even when it seemed much more convenient for them to just go inside where it is warm and just let me open the stupid door on my own. 

Maybe I'd teach them that even the smallest acts can have the biggest impact. One of the two. Probably both.

40. If you had to have a tattoo, what would it be and where would you get it?

Heh, you're talkin' to the girl who doesn't want her ears pierced. No way in heck am I getting a tattoo.

41. What can you hear right now?

Music and the sound of my thoughts.

42. Where do you feel the safest?

In a book.

43. What is one thing you want to overcome/conquer?

Darkness and fear.

44. If you could travel back to any era, which would you choose?

The one with Michelangelo, Leonardo, and all those other guys that the ninja turtles were named after.

45. What is your most used emoji?

It's not even an emoji. It is literally XD. Either that or (^^) 

46. What is your favourite season? Why?

Torn between winter (snow), spring (life coming into bloom), and fall (all the pwetty colors).

47. How would you spend your ideal day?

On a window seat during a thunderstorm either sketching or reading a book all wrapped up in a blanket. Preferably with a cat. Sipping warm apple cider or hot chocolate with marshmallows.

48. Describe yourself using one word.

Me.

49. What do you regret the most?

Not realizing certain things sooner.

50. Invent your own word. What does it mean?

Crushyblushy (adj. n.)

The general mannerisms an individual enacts around people that they like (specifically in crush and/or love situations).

syn: awkward, quirky, shy, blushy

ant: confident, flirty, aplomb, able

[saiangelo999]

2020 T.V Show Tracker

T.V. Shows

The Witcher 

Started 2019 finished 2020. Click here for my thoughts.

Brooklyn Nine-Nine

Completed - I really enjoyed the episode with Pimento, that episode was just hilarious. I think that was one of my favourite episodes this season.

Self Made

It was very a enjoyable mini-series. Sarah's story is so fascinating and inspirational precisely because of how many hardships she had to deal with throughout her life. I enjoyed the show and learning more about Madam CJ Walker.

Interior Design Masters

This was a really fun show. I didn’t agree with everything that the judges said, but I definitely had fun watching the contestants renovate commercial and residential places. My favourite episode was when they worked on the stores (not restaurants). I really loved those transformations.

The Big Flower Fight

It was such a fun show! I really enjoyed watching how the contestants used plants to create beautiful and interesting topiaries/sculptures. I loved most of the contestants and was always looking forward to their take on each challenge!

Space Force

It was a fun show! Enjoyed watching it with my sister.  :)

Hannibal

Re-visiting this show from the one or two episodes I watched back when I was in grade 12 and one of my teachers was promoting this show because her friend was an extra in it. But, I really am intrigued by the concept, the way the show is filmed is just so gorgeous for such a gory show and the plot is very fascinating. Anytime Hannibal feeds anyone I get a bit antsy. But Will Graham is just such an interesting character. I have high expectations of the show!

Update: Finished s1 and LOVED it! As I was binging s2 I started to get nightmares and also the plot started to move forward at a snail’s pace (imo) so I will put this show on hold for now.

The Umbrella Academy s2

So I really enjoyed this season of Umbrella Academy because I got to see more of Five kicking ass as a teenager, the character growth of BOTH Diego and Luther, seeing the entire family getting closer to Vanya and the general action sequences of the show. I enjoyed the new characters as well - Lila and The Swedes. I admit my memory of season 1 of this show is somewhat vague, but I found that the ending of the season (its climax to be precise in episode 10) to be somewhat lackluster considering the build-up. 

I really enjoyed was seeing Klaus, Allison and Vanya deal with their respective subplots and that scene in the barbershop with the three of them bonding really was a highlight of the season. Also when (spoiler alert) Ben finally ‘died’ and went to the afterlife that scene was so well executed and emotional and has got to be one of my favorite moments of the season. It was nice to see him helping Vanya out.

The Haunting of Bly Manor

I loved this show! I grew to love these characters so much! I loved Hannah and Owen’s relationship so much.

The Haunting of Hill House

So, I read the book first and wanted to see what the hype was all about. I really enjoyed the little easter eggs to the book in the show, and that ONE SCENE with the ‘Bent-Neck lady’ gave me a nightmare... It was good, definitely an interesting take on the story.

Anime

The Disastrous Life of Saiki: Reawakened

I love how the show constantly shows us that Saiki will tolerate anyone for the sweet sweet coffee jelly. I need more of this show!! Please give me more episodes @Netflix.

Haikyuu!

I love it. I understand the hype now. I really enjoy how they show the lives of all the people in the show, the ‘extras’ on the team, the opponents and give us a glimpse into their lives and their stories. I finished season two and am looking forward to more! It’s honestly so hard to be rooting for just one person in this show and I love that.  Finished 2 seasons so far. Will get back into it eventually. I’m honestly jealous that I can’t play volleyball rn.

Mob Psycho 100

This will probably take me a while to finish as I am planning to read it before watching it. It’s so so lovable. I love Mob and I would do anything to protect him. Also I really like Regen’s protectiveness and genuineness towards Shigeo. It’s just a great manga/anime. Finished season one. It is so addicting! I love Mob and Reigen so much! <3

Update: finished season two. Man watching this show makes my heart grow 5 x as big every time I watch it! It’s just so endearing, fun, comedic. I love how season two really just show’s Shigeo’s growth throughout the season. His speech to Shirazawa at the last episode and how it came full circle - loved it! I also was surprised by the red headed son (Ryu?) in the best way. I hope we see more of him in the next season. Can’t wait for more!

Fruits Basket season 2

Can’t wait for more crying. 🙃 I am really looking forward to seeing Yuki’s character development and his relationship with Machi and Kakeru developing. Also looking forward to seeing Momiji growing and more moments between Kyo and Tohru.

Update: Love seeing Yuki’s arc in the anime format. Seeing him reach out to his brother, Hatsuharu and the student council peeps and grow is so rewarding to watch. Looking forward to more and more Kyorhu. One wish is that, I wish with this season we could see Momiiji change physically a bit more but I’m holding onto hope for that near the end of the season. 

March Comes in like a Lion/ 3-gatsu no Lion

It’s not my usual type of anime to watch as it is so slice-of-life, but in a weird way it really reminds me of My Roommate is a Cat except after I watch it I want to play chess or learn shogi. Of course, Rei has depression and a lot of issues he needs to work with, but the sisters are just so sweet and the moments that they show up to take care of him are so heartwarming. I love his self-proclaimed ‘best’ friend and rival - Nikaidou. I just really love how he’s drawn, his personality and when he shows up in the show it definitely perks me up. I really enjoy seeing him develop as a character and as a person. I am somewhat sympathetic to the plight of his foster sister but where I am in the show (finished s1) I absolutely loathe her. I really like seeing  how many people are around Rei and watching him tackle life and grow. Looking forward to watching s2!

The animation is very interesting. One thing that I am not sure if it is deliberate or not is how the characters’ facial expressions (mostly the way the mouth is in close-ups) are drawn to me seems very ambiguous to me - I can’t quite understand what emotion is being conveyed.

Update: Started s2 and man the bullying storyline with Hina is so sad.

Teasing Master Takagi-san

DNF. Just started it randomly. It’s very cute.

The Great Pretender

I started it cuz it was short and seemed like fun. It has darker undertones than I expected going into it. On the Singapore storyline.

Wotaku

This was very short and binge-able. I liked it, it’s fun for what it is.

Dramas

Never Twice

So idk if I’ll actually keep up with this as it is a guilty pleasure atm. I just started it because I liked some of the tropes that the show had (found family, sweet male lead, baby being doted on etc.). I am enjoying the gifs of the show. The plot is very... boring and I do recognize that for the most part the female characters don’t have much intrinsic motivation or identity outside male characters... 

05.2020 Update: DNF. 

Crash Landing on You

I am really enjoying it so far. I really like that both the female leads are just very powerful and interesting on their own. Really like how the found family trope is being used. The romance is cute (a bit much at times imo). I still can’t get over how Captain Ri heard her suicide tape and just went ‘oh we are fated to be together’. That was... an interesting interpretation of the tape...

Also the whole thing with her being in N. Korea is hilarious and really the drama asks the viewer to really suspend disbelief to enjoy the show but  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Update: Completed. Enjoyed it overall. Wasn’t the best drama I’ve ever seen but REALLY loved the female leads in the show. Seo Dan and her family are just SO adorable. Can’t believe Gu Suengjoon was killed just as his relationship with Dan became so cute. One qualm is that this show does the whole near death thing WAY too many times with the main couple for my taste. 

365: Repeat the Year

Interesting premise and it has Nam Jihyun who I love. Looking forward to more and hoping it will keep my attention. I can’t believe that by episode 10 that the serial killer was revealed. I mean, I’m still invested in the show but that definitely caught me off-guard.

Finished it! I am really glad that they reduced the total amount of episodes because I felt that the ending was well done - not too rushed, not too out there (for the show). It was a very good ending for the show! I recommend it to anyone interested in a sci-fi/thriller. Overall, it was a fun time! Very engaging and would appeal to anyone interested in thrillers. I do have ONE gripe about the show which is a spoiler but it did not prevent me from enjoying the show. 

Love with Flaws/ People with Flaws

Finished! I started it cuz of a random compilation I saw on Youtube with the show and the gifs of it here and there and it’s decent overall. I would say that out of the many kdramas I’ve seen in this genre, it does stand slightly apart from the rest because of how each character is portrayed. I feel like there were no overt archetypes for the characters and I especially liked how they portrayed characters relationships. I liked how the siblings’ relationships were portrayed, and I really ended up loving the female lead’s eldest brother. He’s just so sweet and kind and I love how he does his best to take care of their entire family. It was definitely sad to see at points knowing that Cha In Ha committed suicide, but his character in the show was just so well done and important! Also his boyfriend is literally so pure I love him. As usual Seulgi just makes me go  😍😍.   

Nobody Knows 2020

It’s really good - very dark and bizarre. The shady foundation’s motivations are a mystery to me, but that hotel owner is a very interesting character. I will get back to it when I can handle more pain.

Update few months later: The twists and the turns though. Wow. I love all the children and how (so far) they are all portrayed as victims of circumstance. They are so sweet and I appreciate how Eun Ho, Dong Ryong and Min Sung’s relationships progress throughout the show. I’m also enjoying the character development of Sun Woo (the teacher/heir to the foundation). It’s also nice to see Cha Young-Jin begin to slowly open up. I’m enjoying the show a lot so far and am very intrigued by Baek Sang Ho’s group.

Final update: FINISHED it! Really loved this drama a lot. I love how all the characters are written so lovingly with so much depth to them. I liked the way the plot unraveled, I liked how all the relationships developed in the story, I loved the way forgiveness and morality were discussed. It was a really good drama and I am missing it already!

Chicago Typewriter

A re-watch. Man I love this drama. The three leads and their relationship is just adorable. 

I hope that in Shin Yul’s world/afterlife or whatever they can be happy together. <3 

Oh My Baby

I started this out because I was extremely bored and saw a few gifs of the show. It seems promising. Don’t have super high expectations of the show tbh. I do like the main couple though! They are adorable, nervously awaiting how it will conclude.

Update: Skipped a couple of episodes (4?) and went to the end. It ended up alright, very open ending and somewhat realistic. I’m glad the main characters were able to put their relationship above their disappointment in being infertile.

Strangers from Hell/ Hell is Other People

I really enjoyed it!! - If I were to recommend it to anyone I would recommend they go into it as blind as possible to enjoy it to the fullest.

So... I had no clue that this show was ONLY 10 episodes long, so imagine my surprise as the events that have been put to play begin to climax, I checked and was surprised that it wasn’t a 16 episode drama. Anyways, this drama had superb writing, directing, acting and fight scene choreography. Everything came together to really make this show have such a dark, creepy atmosphere that intensified as the episodes went on. I loved how the show portrayed how Yoon Joon Yoo/O’s mentality was tested to the breaking point. Tbh I thought he was slow in the beginning of the show (episode 1-2), but turned out that he did far better than his counterparts. I think that one thing that was a shame was they didn’t really show the strength of his relationship w his girlfriend too much before, and had they had more screen time as a couple I would have been even more invested in the story. 

Mystic Pop-up Bar

Loved it! This was a really enjoyable show. The pacing was good, the story was interesting and I liked watching the characters relationships develop. It was heartwarming and a fun watch! I enjoyed the focus on various people’s stories showcasing all sorts of relationships. 

It’s Okay Not to be Okay/ Psycho But It’s Okay

Put it on hold for now - watched up until episode 10-12ish.

Flower of Evil

The best kdrama of 2020 so far? Possibly.  Love how it mixes being a thriller with the marital relationship aspect. One potential con is that it seems that the mystery aspect of the show for now seems fairly obvious but how the situations will be handled keeps me on the edge of my seat!! Also I totally did not expect such a strong marriage to be shown in a thriller drama! Also the way that Cha Ji Won is written is just chef’s kiss. I love how complex she is, how intelligent, kind, caring and so so good at putting things together. I love Hyun So’s family and I hope it ends with them staying together.

Update: Finished it! Not sure how I feel about the very last episode... but I can say I’m glad that Do Hae Su got some crumbs in terms of character development by the end. So glad she didn’t end up with Moo Jin and started a new life abroad. The amnesia plot was unnecessary imo, I would have rather seen more cute scenes of them together than angst in the last episode. But, it was interesting to see how the trial was revealed, and the Baek’s got way better than they deserved which is unfortunately realistic.

Lie after Lie

Plot sounded way more interesting in the synopsis vs the execution. Mediocre plot which I thought was easy to see through.

Eighteen Again

sort of dnf? I made it to epi 14 or so and just finished it in my head and through gifs. It had so much potential which I think it squandered... but there were some genuinely heart warming scenes from the show which I really enjoyed. (Siwoo and his dad bonding, all the scenes showing the mc as the nicest dude).

I don’t want to be friends with you

I really enjoyed the show. I liked how it portrayed the mother-daughter relationship, the differences in how they were raised and how Li Jing Bu was able to get the love she so craved through her dream?/journey. I liked how the romance was handled, how she gained such meaningful relationships during the show and how important it was to her that her mom was happy.

The Good Detective (2020)

I really enjoyed this show! It was really cool to see a show that critiques the corrupt systems they have in place and the unexpected consequences that it can have on people. I liked how it touched on themes of guilt, remorse, forgiveness and resilience. Also, it was interesting to see a guy who has all the money in the world choose to be a workaholic detective.

Part 2

[hollyhomburg]

I really fell like you kind of romanticised butterfly in the sense of self hat anxiety and cutting.Unless you deal with them personally you would not know that it feels like and I bet you can agree on that. it was glamorised.It’s really worse then that and you really kinda didn’t perceive it that well. Sorry but it kind of hurt that you tried to romanticise it for an stupid ff. it’s offensive and not something to write about so army’s can fantasise about being “saved” from it by bts It’s mocking

Sorry guys this is kinda graphic but be warned major talk about self harm and a shit ton of personal stuff- jfc- don’t actually read this if you don’t want to know verry intimate details about my life, sorry for the weird font things and the emojis I had to distract myself from what I was actually writing about.

I did use to cut, I’m about 2 years clean now (I think it was about March of 2017 but I didn’t really have a good grasp of time then depression man) but I started when I was about 12 because honestly my life was shit.

Butterfly is mostly based on the things I needed to hear when I was going through the worst of it and verry much based on my first ever relationship with a guy who constantly said he’d leave me if I ever cut again. He always found a reason to stay when I did, because I always did again no Matter how many times I promised him I wouldn’t. until I had a pregnancy scare- then he noped right out of my life

this, this bareing of myself isn’t intentional- but maybe telling my story will make you understand. I don’t know if I did romatisize self-harm and mental illness in the story, but if I did, that wasn’t my intention and I’d love to change it if you have any specific suggestions beyond just saying that it is- because to my eyes it’s not problematic because I live with the same kind of self hate the reader has, (not all the time but definitely on my bad days, which thankfully are few and far between now that I’ve been in recovery for so long)

It’s not my intention for butterfly to be a fantasizing peice, for people who want to self harm and be saved to start because of what they read. there is no talk of “suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem” talk” which over simplifies it. Or the whole “you must be better for me and I will make you live for my sake” because that never works you have to live for yourself if you’re going to live at all.

what you do have in the story is the boys constantly and consistently challenging the readers view of herself, assuring her that she deserves to be comforted when she’s feeling overly self negative, she deserves to ask for thing like support. The boys aren’t going to be her reason- they can’t be, but they’re sure as hell going to stop enabling her in her self hate (everyone but Jungkook that is) her view of herself is overwhelmingly negative besides the occasional thought of “at least I’m helpful-maybe then my existance is worth it” she can’t subside on their love when she needs to start loving herself and actually putting in the work to get better.

This particular kind of worthlessness is a feeling so pervasive no one should ever have to live with it alone. Which is why I write about it even though it’s really hard for me.

No one besides a phrat boy knows this, but during the worst time of my self harm (my sophomore year of college) I cut two words into either of my wrists. On one side was the word “useful” and on the other side was “worthless.” a guy saw them when we where hooking up and almost checked me into a psyche ward despite the fact that he probably needed to get his stomach pumped. Don’t know if he even remembered it the day after he was so drunk. after that I refused to take my shirt off during sex.

I’m asexual- like pretty certian I’m somewhere on the spectrum, definitely not sex repulsed though. I’ve probably had more than 20 one night stands? not because I really wanted to have sex cuz I never do. literally sex is so boring if it’s not kinky- it’s like watching golf and even when it’s kinky it’s like a movie marathon I’m like mildly interested if it’s on in the background but I’m not going to sit down and watch it like I would the new how to train your dragon movie or the season finale game of thrones. My sexuality is dragons I guess

I had one night stands because I needed to feel useful for a little while and because I usually like the cuddling that comes after, usually , but if I actually like the person I have sex with, I vomit, every single damn time Cuz like Maybe if someone used me for just a night I could pretend that I hadn’t already been thrown to the curb like something that was only meant for a single use. Useful, but worthless. Two sides of the same coin, one word for each wrist.

So yeah maybe I dream of a world where i was saved from that, where I didn’t have to go through it all on my own and fight for every clawing inch I got with my mental health. But maybe everyone dreams that they weren’t alone. Maybe I wish it wasn’t all me that got me to where I am now- to where I can talk about it on this forum and write about it so that other people can be comforted along side myself.

Maybe if It wasn’t all me I wouldn’t worry and stress about my mental health so god damn much- to the point where the fear of going back to that time, to being like that, consumes me on the daily. I have anxiety attacks about the posibility of having anxiety attacks (because I used to cut nearly every time I had them). I never ever want to go back to cutting myself. Never ever ever. I’m terrified at the possibility of it.

But writing about it. Putting myself back in those months before i stopped and writing about it (and reading other stories about it) helps me to remember what I didn’t know then:

I have people who love and will help me if I need it, I can talk to people about it, I can have a conversation about my mental health while knowing I deserve it. I’m not just something someone would toss in the garbage. I’m not just taking up space

✨ One persons trash is another’s treasure and fuck it if I won’t treasure myself ✨

Yeah I wish someone had been able to help me through that- because it was fucking terrifying doing it alone. And if fantasizing about it makes me feel less alone, then it’s okay. Literally all fan fiction is a fantasy anyway. None of it is real. Dean Winchester would have cum enough to fill several seas if it was and Jeon jungkooks dick would have fallen off from how many times he’s fucked y/n. A lot of army’s already feel like bts has saved them, I did verry little to encourage that line of thought in them.

For most Armys, BTS saving them is not a fantasy- it’s a reality.

If you’ve done a close reading of the story, youd realize it’s flawed, Jungkook flat out refuses the readers request for understanding, hoseok dosent realize what’s going on half the time because part of him sees the world through rose colored glasses.

Seokjin dosent know how to reconcile what he knows he wants to happen and what the actuality of the world is. He wants to force the reader to get better but knows that’s wrong and only knows he wants to hold onto her and keep her safe- neglecting the fact that being safe is not the same thing as being happy

yoongi is being overprotective and over watchful not understanding how the readers perception of that behavior only makes her negative mindset worse. Namjoon is doing the same. I haven’t spent a lot of time on Jimins side of the story, but he too clings to her.

They’re all trying to help- but none of them are doing it in the right way- except for taehyung, which is the only part of the story I think that might seem like other conventional narratives of recovery. But what taehyung is trying to do is show her that intamacy, that letting them in and see her- and the parts of her that she views as worthless, won’t make them run and if she actual start to confide in them about her issues then they will know how to best go about supporting her.

The reader wants them to forget about her problems, the others kind of do a bad job of showing her that they can’t. all accept taehyung, who tries to make her understand that they can’t force her to be open or to get better, they can’t be mind readers, she has to want them to understand why she is the way she is before they figure out the best way to help her. She has to want to get better. They’re not going to magically wave their kpop hands and she’ll fall into their arms and suddenly love herself because they want her too. Getting better takes work.

What you said hurts me, but not because I can’t handle my work being criticized, but because I genuinely want to help people with the same issues I had in the past. Like I said before, I just wanted people to feel less alone and maybe I wanted to feel less alone. Maybe one of the reasons why it seems like it’s glamorizing it is because I haven’t shown her getting better yet- which I will, it’s just gonna take me a second to get there in the story I promise.

If you honestly had a problem with any part in butterfly part two, or part one, I would love it if you sent me the part and told me why it wasn’t okay, so that I can change it and make it not glamorize self-harm.

Also to the other people who are reading this and are really concerned about me and my well being, know that I’m okay now, I’m more okay than I’ve been since I was like 11 years old? You don’t have to worry about me. Like at all. I would have just deleted this message if I thought I wasn’t okay and couldn’t handle the criticism.

[peaches-of-1]

Trivia: Holiday Dance

J-Hope x Black!Youtuber

You came to Korea with high hopes that had been met. They are now surpassed as you get the chance to make a youtube video with several BTS members. The recording goes much better than expected, just in time for Christmas.

I walked around the town taking my time as I were getting the last needed things to stay inside for Christmas. My family wasn’t in Korea, but I was. I had moved there...here because of my chance at getting famous. It’s true I had many talents and I wasn’t spectacularly gorgeous, but it was Korea. I had been hoping to take the Sam Okyere route and be famous for being black. And before you say some dumb shit about using my race as an advantage, chill. There aren’t many places where my dark skin is a good thing. We’re usually crooks and rapists and filling up jail cells on dumbass charges, but here.

Here in Korea I was praised for being myself. My self confidence has blossomed and I’m less depressed. Yeah, there are times when I’m told to go back to where I came from or something like that but more people tell that person to shut up no matter if they’re older or not. I feel respected here which is why I’ve stayed in Korea for three years now.

And have I gotten famous? Yes. I’ve gotten famous for my unique style which is apparently still unique in Korea. I run a YouTube channel but I have also become a TV personality and equality advocate. It’s really fun. I get to meet a lot of celebs and get to travel a lot.

“Hey, (Y/N)!” Someone called. They approached me wearing a green padded jacket and western styled makeup on. Their body looked like a caterpillar and the face a butterfly.

I stopped, “Yes. Hello?”

We bowed to each other.

“I’m Kim Gertrude. I work for some very important people. Here’s my card.”

She handed the card to me and I saw she was one of BTS’s managers. Married by the looks of it. I had met several before, but schedules man. You think idols are busy? I just got my own editor for my videos and I still had a lot of legwork to do.

“Hi, Gertrude. Nice to meet you.”

She smiled, “I know we’ve tried to set up something before, but a lot of staff has been fired in the recent...event. I just wanted to make sure we still had some connection with you and heard you were headed to Megan’s place today.”

I nodded, “Oh, I am. We’re shooting a video today. That’s very kind of you to go out of your way to confirm that. Uh, quick question. I have a mostly clear schedule for the next two weeks since I’m doing things in advanced and this is the last video I’m shooting for my channel event. Anyways, um, is there a chance I could have one day with at least one of the guys anywhere in that time?”

Gertrude tapped her lip, “Maybe. I’ll have to double check and let you know. I left my work phone somewhere. I promise to let you know as soon as possible. I have to get going now. Thank you for your time.”

“You’re welcome. Thank you for the card and I hope to hear you from you soon.”

After bowing to each other, she went to a car that was waiting and I continued to my friend Megan’s place. We were recording for my 25 days of videos. It was two months until December and the holiday season, so I had a lot of events to go to. I’d do vlogs too, but for YouTube content I’d be doing as many collabs as possible.

“(Y/N)!” Megan said with a big smile when I got to her door. Her cats meowed all around as we hugged each other.

I made sure to give them pets and scratches too.

[Thirty minutes later]

The first video for her channel was recorded, and I legit smelled like cat food. Feathers were everywhere. We tested to see what the cats would do with certain toys, which they liked the best, which they didn’t really like. They destroyed three feathered ones, so it was time for clean up and a quick break before we started recording mine.

With the feathers in the trash, I decided to check my phone while she ordered take out. I had sent Gertrude a confirmation text and she said she was glad to know I was actually interested and that she had heard good things from the former employees and really liked me work, all that jazz.

Then this exchange happened once I checked my phone. I nearly screamed.

I lied. I had no ideas that hadn’t already been used up for the 25 days thing. My face must’ve looked very stressed because Megan gave me a confused look.

“You good?”

“If I show you this, you can’t tell anyone until it’s over.”

She nodded, “I swear on my life, girl.”

I showed her the text messages and her eyes lit up. She grabbed my phone to scream and then looked at me. Looking at the phone, she screamed again.

“NOoooo”

“Yesss!”

“Girl, I’ve been doing this for 10 years and I couldn’t even get ten seconds with…” She handed my phone back, “What’s the idea?”

“I don’t have one! I came up with so many ideas for my channel for the 25 days things and the only things I didn’t do was because they are impossible or they suck ass!”

Megan shook her head and held out her hand, “List.”

I scrolled on my phone to show her the list. She looked through it and we stood in awkward but excited silence for a good few seconds as she saw what wasn’t crossed out.

“Potato sack race? In the winter?”

“Anyways!” I waved my hand.

Then she held out her phone while her fluffiest cat jumped onto the counter and into my arms, “What about this one? Random dance play? They’re dancers, or even guess the song! You both love music!”

“But the copyrights! I’m broke, sis!” I whined.

“Make it BTS. They can’t strike you if they’re listening to their own music.”

I wanted to facepalm so hard, “You’re right! OMG thank you so much!”

The doorbell buzzed. Probably food. I started texting back.

The food was set up in the living room when I returned. Megan asked how it went, and I told her I was just waiting to see if any of the guys wanted to do it. She said she was so glad for me but I owed her a name drop for helping. Of course! I’d make sure it was kept in the video intro. She laughed and we recorded my video which just us doing each other’s makeup with children’s makeup kits that one would get from like the toy section.

It was just a fun thing, but I had to remember to wash it off because it was also done blindfolded and we looked like wrecks with a capital R.

When next week arrived, I had become that girl who was trying to impress guys but “not too much” Not like I bought a whole new outfit to wear or started preparing my hair ahead of time or anything. I didn’t make a video vlog of my shopping or upload my selfie to my insta account. Nothing...like...that.

Ok, fine. Maybe I did, but don’t I look damn fine?

The plan was to do one all BTS dances and then one full of iconic hits. Mostly TWICE, Hyuna, and Super Junior from the sounds of it. I told Gertrude the guys could just show up in whatever they usually do their dance practices in, something comfortable.

I was wearing leggings, a tank top, and a sheer mesh dress with some white tennis shoes. Clean, but not like I was trying too hard. I just did some lip tint and foundation for a confidence booster and cameras. Waterproof or not, nothing was going on my eyes. I even put on extra strength deodorant cuz I’d be stanky and I didn’t wanna be stanky around BTS. My hair was in two cute buns. Basically a stylish workout.

Taking a deep breath, I went inside and Gertrude greeted me. She said the boys were wrapping up a project and were running a bit late. I was escorted to the practice room while given some rules of what could and could not go into the videos final cut, if it should happen. I told them I followed most of the KBS TV show guidelines when interacting with idols.

“Trust me. Me and my editor take our utmost care to show honest celebrities without tarnishing their records.”

Then they left me in the room to set up with a bodyguard who also had some tech knowledge in case I needed help. I set up my own camera and tripod and tested the speakers. I made sure my earrings were still in and that I wasn’t sweating too much. Then I turned on my phone camera.

“Hey, guys. It’s ya girl PeachesNoCream hear recording yet another video for you. I am not sure when this is going up, I’m thinking sometime during Kwanzaa since you guys need to catch up on my 25 Collabs of Christmas. If you haven’t go see those now.” I smiled and giggled, getting into YouTuber mode.

I messed with a puff making sure it stayed lively, “Anywhoosies, if you’ll notice, I am not in any of my usual spots today. You’ll see, I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves to do a video with some idols from my favorite group. They’re running a bit late, but it just give me more time to set up...and work on my intro several times until they show up.”

Which I did until the fifth take wasn’t too fake, wasn’t too squeaky or could be perceived as fake. Then I answered some emails while pacing around talking to my editor and confirming or rejecting certain events. I was going to be called in last minute to do this Winterview, I just knew it. Just as I was checking my teeth in the front facing camera, they walked in.

Three of the seven gods belonging to BTS. Damn, how were they all so attractive? I forgot how to breath for a solid five seconds before bowing and greeting them, shaking their hands and such.

“Wow, you guys were so late, I started to wonder if I had been pranked.” Why the fuck did I say that?

They chuckled, “Sorry, Hobi took forever deciding which shorts to wear.”

“I watch your videos sometimes and saw that you made a video about your favorite body parts on idols. Number 1 was my legs and my abs, but you gotta earn those.” He laughed.

I smiled back, “Wow thanks. So you know what we’re gonna do today, right?”

“We gonna dance!” Jimin exclaimed!

“Yep. The first one is all your songs and then the second is just from all over kpop. Do you guys wanna do an intro with me?”

The three boys nodded, and so I came up with an idea on the spot. They in on the other side of my camera and I introduced myself with the basic script I had liked the most from earlier.

“...I’ve been blessed by the k-pop gods themselves. Would you like to meet them?” I turned my body to stand in front of them and they waved and smiled. “It’s BTS!”

Hoseok was laughing, “K-pop gods.”

I smiled at him, making eye contact and then cut off the camera. “That was good, guys. Now, part two of the intro is me explaining what we’re doing for a few seconds.”

Testing the speakers once more, I turned on the camera and had the guys stand on either side of me. They were all taller than I was by at least two inches, but I was pretty sure Jimin was wearing lifts.

“So what am I doing with the deities of dance? Dancing, of course. The four of us will be doing a random dance challenge with BTS songs and some iconic ones afterwards. The songs may be new or old, but either way the chorus will play and we have to do our best at doing the correct choreography. Got it, guys?” I looked at each of them.

“Got it!”

“Sounds fun!”

“Let’s get it!”

I smiled, “Alright, let’s clear the floor. I’ve mostly followed J-Hope and Suga when learning dances, so I’ll be doing their stuff most of the time.” I looked over to the assigned helper. “Yoosung, start the video please. Video links will be in the description.”

The intro music played. Then the countdown began. | “I need you girl, wheh…” started playing, and the guys began doing their thing. I joined in the body rolls and steps. I really liked doing this one. I think there was even an “in heels” cover somewhere on my channel.

Thirty minutes later, the list ended and the boys said that there were some they needed to practice again. They were smiling and laughing which was a good sign. I really just wanted them to have some fun even if I was chugging down a whole TaTa water bottle. They had stamina for the gods, and I barely had it for myself.

Hoseok laughed at my huge sigh after water spilled down my chin, “Are you okay?”

“Yeah. Good thing I brought a towel.” I got the small towel out of my bag and wiped my sweat on the way to the small puddle, but the assistant was already mopping it up. “Oh, thanks.”

“No problem.” He smiled and then set up the next round of songs.

I spoke to the camera again, so glad I wouldn’t have to edit this myself or I’d probably die of embarrassment.

“So, how was that, Jimin?”

“It was fun! I wanna do more!”

Taehyung laughed, “Even though you went the wrong way during--”

Jimin became a giggly mochi as he hit Tae’s arm, “Shut up!”

“Well, we have time for one more video. It’s iconic dances of all time. Do you still want to do it?”

They all said yes, of course, so we went into the second round of dances. I had learned so much more ever since coming to Korea, and we got excited when our favorites came on or ones that brought nostalgia. Hobi was a bit shy to join some even though he was shaking his hips or moving his arms from the side.

And then fifteen minutes in, “Troublemaker” came on. Taehyung was Jimin’s Hyuna, and I did the Queen’s part by myself. I knew they probably wouldn’t dance with me to this type of song, and I understood. It was just the chorus, but as it went on, I couldn’t help but feel kinda left out? That’s the best way to describe it. Even though I was doing well, I was about to go back to the sidelines until I felt a presence behind me and arms under mine.

Hobi danced the rest of the short section with me, letting me put my palms on top of his. The song launched into the slow part, and let me tell you. Time literally slowed down. It felt really natural to be doing this with him. Our bodies moved in sync like they were one and he kept his manner hands as much as he could. But damn. Our chemistry.

I smiled and he grinned back. Then the snippet ended and the next song came on. My heart was going fast, so I took a break from a few songs to get a drink of water. He continued to dance with his members. A girl was shook and that girl was me.

Chung Ha’s “Love You” came on near the end and J-Hope grabbed my hand to pull me to the dance floor. He was adorkable as he placed me in front of him. This time, Jimin got to be the main girl and Taehyung did backup. I did my best not to be extra, but this dance probably wasn’t going to get into the final cut anyways. When it was time for the full body roll and hand over waist moment, I took my chance to grab the back of his hand for just a moment.

Five more choruses, and it was done. The boys said how much fun they had on camera while I forced my attention to anywhere but J-Hope. We were all breathing hard and then off. We all high fived each other and used our sweat towels to wipe off our perspiration. I did a quick pit sniff as slyly as I could, and Jimin smiled at me. We giggled at each other.

They all helped me pack up even though Hoseok helped me the most. Tae and Jimin went into the hall to talk about something and said they’d be back soon.

“I don’t mean to be rude, but why were you late? It couldn’t have taken that long for just some shorts.”

“Oh, uh. They wanted help with a Christmas song. We really wanted to make an album for it this year. That’s what they’re probably talking about right now. We’re gonna record some more once we get back to the dorms.”

A vague memory popped in my head, “Is it that one Taehyung…”

Hoseok nodded, and I smiled. So they were gonna end up singing it together after all. That made me happy.

“I’m glad. They deserve to sing together.” I said as I zipped up the last bag.

That’s when the boys came back in. Taehyung apologized for taking so long. Hobi said that she knew about the song, and they smiled at her. Jimin looked like he wanted to say something but decided not to and told us to ignore him.

I giggled, “I guess that’s it then. It was an honor to work with you guys. I hope we can do some more videos again some time.”

“Nooo, don’t gooo. Come to dinner with us?”

“I thought we were just gonna get takeout and watch movies before hitting the studio. Y’know, back at the dorms.” J-Hope said, confused.

Not gonna lie, I was confused too, “Well, if you’re gonna do all that. I don’t wanna intrude. I’ve taken up enough of your time.”

Taehyung wasn’t having it as he grabbed my arm and pulled me along, “No, no, no. We’re going out to eat together. There’s a place nearby that I haven’t gotten to try when not in a rush. It’ll be fun. Jimin, carry her stuff.”

The pink haired man grabbed the duffle in my right hand while Hobi followed behind, holding my other bag. The excited puppy-like Taehyung went on and on about how good the cold noodles were at this restaurant and how they’d have one of their managers drive me home instead of me having to take a cab or the train. I thought Why not? Free food! And ordered a few sushi rolls and we shared a huge bowl of cold noodles. It was really fun.

They asked me about videos and who I had gotten to interact with over the years. Hobi and Tae seemed the most interested while Jimin’s attention was more on the bottle of soju that a fan at another table ordered for them. It was even better that I could also ask them questions that I had been wondering about for years! Most importantly, which ARMY got the Bangtan Universe timeline correct? I know they had watched videos to see if anyone had. They were curious like that especially when it came to their fans and their content.

J-Hope replied that no one had gotten it 100% right, but a certain youtuber had gotten about 86% right but switched several key events. I asked who.

“That’s for us to know, and for you to find out.” Jimin winked at me and then got shy, hitting Joon’s arm. “Ah, that’s so cheesy.”

We had gotten a booth, but the boy with the boxy smile was the one sitting next to me while the two others sat across from us. About three hours had passed by with us just talking. Then it was time for me to upload the footage to my computer and send it to my editor. I wondered if she was up. I needed to fangirl to someone who would keep it a secret until it was uploaded.

I laughed and called her, “Hiya.”

“Oh my god, girl!” She squeaked. “Are you serious? You really shot this video today? Like, today today?”

“Yeah.” I chuckled. “I told you what I was gonna be doing.”

“Yeah, but you never said who it was gonna be with. BTS? I am so proud of you, but also. Mama can’t edit this without some notes. Some tea worthy notes.”

I had just gotten out of the shower, so I was doing my face mask and night routine in my oversized jumper and ankle socks. We usually talked like this while she did the first round of editing and then she’d would text me for anything else she needed info on. Like always, she ran the conversation just because that’s how our relationship worked.

“It wasn’t much. We just danced. They were late because of work stuff, so I was able to record some solo intros for you to choose from. Should I have gotten some more intros with them it it? I felt like the first one was good enough.”

Her deep voice laughed, “If you think it’s good enough, it probably is. But stop being so shy. What was is like? Who’s hottest in person?”

“You say that as if Hobi doesn’t own my heart and soul. Do you expect another answer?” I replied, remembering the dances we did...and his hands on my waist. His hands in my hands. His front pressed up against my back. How in sync our moments were.

“Y/N!!!!” My editor yelled.

I nearly dropped my phone as I dropped, “Yea?”

“Where did you go and why did your breathing get heavier? No wait...” She gasped. “Gurl. He did not. He. Did. NOT!!!”

She had gotten to that one. You knew it. The music played from her computer, and you could hear it through the phone. She was screaming at the top of her lungs from excitement. Her words were incomprehensible until her neighbor yelled at her. After apologizing, she was back.

“Hyuna! He danced behind you like that? TaeTae and Chim even left the stage because y’all were getting it on. This isn’t going in the video is it?”

“No! No way. I’d get fucking murdered if any sasaengs or worse, hardcore ARMY, saw that. I might put that in a blooper reel. Might, in like two million years. Also, we do Chung Ha’s song together too, so cut that out please. I quite enjoy living.”

She squealed quietly again, “Please tell me you got his number!”

I scoffed, “Nah, but he did help me pack up afterwards. Also, Tae made sure I ate dinner with them. A manager drove me back home, so that was fun.”

She was probably gonna ask what we talked about over dinner, but there was a loud crash and the sound of a dog whining. She had to go. I ended up falling asleep to the latest episode of Hello Counselor and waking up to my phone going absolutely insane. I woke up with drool on my face and the mask barely hanging on.

Luckily, it had been charging nearby. So I grabbed it and I couldn’t believe it. Apparently I had uploaded a video last night that had now reached 1 million views already. So many comments were pouring in. I had to turn off notifications before my phone literally exploded. It was already very hot.

“Wh-what the fuck?” My tired brain tried to understand what was going on.

Underneath the YouTube notifs was a text from my editor.

> Hey, I edited the video while my dog had to go the hospital last night and decided to uploaded it since I finished. Hope you don’t mind! ^_^

> OMG, girl. Check the video. You’re trending already!

I am gonna kill you <

> Love you too! Call me when you can! ^3^

I refreshed the page and it was almost at 3 million. I wanted to look at the comments, I really did. But I also was fucking terrified. There were so many missed calls and my Twitter and my Insta were also blowing up. I had to turn off every notification ever and make my own posts to maybe quell the flames.

Twitter: Holy shit, guys! My editor uploaded that for me as a surprise...to me. Thanks to @bts_twt for all the working with me, but I’m scared to look at the comments *scared face*

Instagram Story: Appreciate the support but stop blowing me up, thx!

Even though it was a lot of good news that I was seeing at first glance, it took me way too long to get rid of all my notifications. Also, I knew that was getting hate. Yeah, I had been doing this for years but I had a soft heart especially for things I cared about a lot. It’s not like I had time to prepare myself for any of this. | Deep breaths. I had to take deep breaths and made an instagram poll.

Read the comments on my YT vid or no?

Of course most of them said yes with the hope of their comment being seen and liked by me. Fine, I would, but D had to be on the phone with me as I did from my laptop just as moral support and to make me feel better about any mean ones. I probably had on more comment filters than necessary anyways, but just in case.

I scrolled down and there was a lot of good. A lot of people laughed at the forgotten bits of choreo and how exaggerated they were when doing the other’s solo dances. There were a lot of comments that had a timestamp around 38:22.

“D?”

“Mm-hmm?”

“What’s at 38 minutes and 22 seconds?”

Her voice went high, “Nothing?”

I smacked my lips and whispered, “Girl, I swear to god, if that’s what I think it is…”

“No, don’t--”

I clicked and there on my screen was J-Hope and I dancing to “Troublemaker” together. The other time stamp was 56:04. Guess what that was? You guessed it. “Love You” which I didn’t mind as much, but I was gonna die. My face got so warm.

“Oh my gahd. Oh my fucking god. I’m dead. I’m gonna die.” I took a deep breath and contemplated letting it out. Eventually, I did. “I can’t go outside today or tomorrow or ever again!”

D scoffed, “Gurl, it’s not like they know this was recorded yesterday or whatever. It could’ve been done a long time ago.”

I paced around my apartment, phone pressed to my ear and voice rising, “Denessa, Jimin’s hair was blonde until a week ago until it became pink which it is in my video. They’re gonna know it’s hella recent. Also, also, Taehyung posted a selca yesterday about having a good time dancing. They’re gonna connect the dots and murder me for messing with their oppas!”

“If I was there, I’d slap you. Get a hold of yourself, girly. So what if it’s recent? They aren’t gonna kill you. As if you hadn’t gotten death threats before. Did anything happen then?”

“Nothing dramatic, just the letters.”

“Exactly. You can throw those out. You’ll be fine. Anyways, if you really do feel unsafe, then you can call the police. They’ll actually help you here.”

I breathed, “You’re right. You’re right. I do feel bad because I feel as though they’ll get mad at me for adding those moments. Also, I just don’t want any rumors.”

“I feel bad for putting them in. They just looked so cute! I’ll edit it out and reupload.”

“Just keep them in unless we get in trouble. It’s out there now. People have saved the clips already.” I chuckled and heard a text come through. After checking I wanted to die again. “Hey, it’s the manager. I’ll text you later.”

“Good luck, girly.”

Gertrude sent me a number and said to call it asap. I did even though my stomach felt like it was a hole or emptiness. I decided to make a bowl of cereal as I waited for the other side to pick up and also prayed that it wasn’t Bang PD or the legal team of some corporation wanting to sue me for the content.

A deep and chipper voice answered, “Hello, (Y/N)?”

“Hi...yeah, it’s me.”

“Good. It’s Hoseok.”

J-Hope! I nearly choked on a Cheerio, “Um. Hi, Hoseok. What-uh, what made you need me to call you? Before you say anything, it was my editor who did everything. I had no idea she uploaded it until last night. It’s not the first time she’s done this but I didn’t mean for anything to happen like--”

“Hey, hey, calm down. I watched it with the guys. I was staring a lot, huh?”

I nodded but then realized he couldn’t see me, “Y-yeah...I noticed that too. We’ve got good chemistry though.” What was I saying? That’s probably not what he wanted. “I can tell her to edit it out or the parts where we danced together. It’s no biggie.”

He chuckled, “No, it isn’t that. I’m actually glad she kept them in, actually. We’ve been wanting a new image lately, and I think this’ll help move it in the right direction.”

“Really?” Said I who was quite shook.

“Really.” He shifted the phone before speaking again. “The fans aren’t giving you a hard time, are they?”

“No. They’re actually being really nice. Just the usual hate that I deal with on a much grander scale because you know, it’s trending and all.”

“Congrats!” He said, a smile in his voice.

I didn’t want him to hang up, and I didn’t have anything to do today. Still, I felt like we should be saying something even though this was the most comfortable silence I had ever experienced.

“What are you--?” Hobi said the same time as I said, “Is that--” We laughed at the cross over and told the other to go first. He was older, so he spoke.

He asked what I was doing for Christmas since there was a ball he wanted to invite me to as his date. All of BTS would be escorting someone, mostly friend, family, or ARMY. Basically, he saw you as a friend and wanted to spend more time with me. I was not shook. I was not shaken nor stirred.

I was shooketh.

“So, we’re going as friends?” I asked just to make sure my heart could calm down a bit.

He hesitated, “Yes. Does that mean you’re coming?”

“Yeah. Sounds fun. What’s the dress code?”

“I’ll send you something. We’ll match!” The smile in his voice was evident.

I blinked, “What do you mean you’ll send me something. Hoseok, you don’t even know my--”

“Uh, sorry. Hyung needs me for something. See you soon. Bye!”

Beep. He hung up. I looked at myself in the mirror, making my pajamas as tight as possible. Just looking at my body trying to see what he saw. It wasn’t anything too special. Then again, he did like black girls. I smirked and then broke out into a full out smile and held my cheeks. My chest felt like it was a ball of light. Jung Hoseok was my friend. I was so lucky! Thank goodness I stayed in Korea.

I just stayed low for a while after the video came out. Yeah, the death threats and racial slurs increased in my inboxes and messages of all sorts, but that just meant my block button was getting used a lot more too. About a week had passed and most of them had gone away to the latest scandal and relationship drama or whatever.

No one told me to edit out the moments of me and J-Hope dancing together. I guess it was because it was seen through a logical lense for the most part. The dances required two people to dance together, and it wasn’t extremely sexual. Manner hands were obvious and made even more obvious by D’s editing skills. I thanked her for that. To be completely honest, I was sorta really glad that it was kept there and that a certain channel called KMusicAndBlackWomen asked if she could include it in her next video.

With Hoseok’s permission, I was able to say yes. The two of us eventually met up again and he asked once more if the comments were bad. He was really worried because he knew there were some real asshats who claimed to be their fans even though they’d never want someone so hateful in their fandom. We even grabbed lunch where I told him about the awful Winterview that would be happening two days before the ball.

“Why’s it so awful? I mean, I don’t really watch it but everyone seems to enjoy watching it every year.”

I sighed, “One of the hosts is always saying slightly racist, well completely racist things and people laugh it off. I just smile too because I’m not one for confrontation.” I stirred my hot cocoa and watched the mini marshmallows melt.

“If they’re saying dumb shit, then call them out.” Hoseok gave me an unexpected answer. “At least let them know it’s not ok, or they’re gonna keep doing it. Online comments can only do so much. I’m sure they’ll stop or at least watch what they say if you do it during the interview.”

“No promises. It’s just they’re so much popular than I am.” I didn’t say the name since I knew Hobi worked closely with her.

He held your hand on the table for a moment, “Listen. There’s only one of them and there are millions of black fans who hate to hear that person say racist stuff. If you won’t do it for you, do it for the fans. Yours and theirs who usually have to keep quiet.”

I hoped Hoseok was right. Putting on basic foundation before I left, I made sure I had everything I needed since I’d be out all day. I also took migraine medicines because I had been dreading this day. This time would be my fourth time doing this.

More importantly, I hoped I had the guts to say something when she said some dumb shit. I had to laugh at myself. Not “if” but “when” because I knew she was gonna spew some bull from that useless mouth of hers.

Like every year prior, we shared the same dressing room. I was to wear a simple red and cream colored Gucci dress with a long sleeve shirt under which was the same creamy tone along with green stockings and a small Christmas hat pinned into my hair. Later on a red and green suit would be my outfit because we had a 15 minute intermission for the hour long livestream.

“I’ll be watching! You’ll do great. Fighting!” Hobi texted me, and I smiled at my phone.

“What, did you get a notification for a discount on dashikis?” It was her. Winnie.

I set my jaw, “Nope. Just a friend of mine wishing me luck.” I turned my phone on silent and slid it into my pocket.

Before she could say something else, we were called to our seats. Then it was lights, cameras, action. The four guests were introduced: Me, Winnie, a male YouTuber named Carlos, and underrated solo idol James. Carlos was a friend of mine and had the longest hair out of anyone there. It was braided back and tied with a red and green ribbon.

We would be answering questions and playing games all night. Things went well, and Winnie kept quiet for the most part. She was polite, which was sort of weird. Like, she was usually polite but just racist towards black people in a passive aggressive way.

“So, (Y/N),” James asked. “You’ve had a video go viral lately. What do you think attributed to it getting so popular in such a short period of time?”

“Well, uh, it was an accidental upload of sorts. My editor had spare time to edit as she was waiting for her dog to get treated--he’s ok by the way, and she just posted it for me. As to what caused the popularity, it was BTS. They’re good guys and popular and talented, and people are constantly looking for content of them. I just happened to be the supplier of it that day.”

Winnie commented, “You’re used to supplying people with their daily fix, aren’t you?”

Drugs. She was talking about me being a drug supplier. Not just me, either, every black person that ever breathed. As if there hadn’t been thousands of cases where people of color had been framed or wrongfully killed because of suspicion. As if it were a joke she was allowed to make. The others gave a quiet laugh, looking for me to say if it was ok to find this humorous.

“You’re a comedian, right?” I asked.

“Yeah?”

“Then try saying something funny instead of the racist bullshit you’re always spewing.” Everyone got silent. “Just because I’m black I must be a drug dealer? That’s what you’re saying.”

She tried to backtrack, “N-no. It’s just that--”

I wasn’t going to let her, “I’ve dealt with you for three years, Winnie. I’m putting my foot down. Make a real joke for once instead of turning yourself into one. Let’s continue.” I looked at Carlos and put on a smile. “Yeah, so it was a lot of fun getting to interact with them. BTS are just a bunch of sweethearts. I’m lucky I got to interact with them.”

The main host cleared his throat, “Um, well, that’s...that’s good to hear (Y/N). We’re gonna take a quick commercial break and be back in just a moment.”

All eyes were now on me after CUT was called. Makeup artists started to approach the stage and do touchups for everyone.

Winnie was shocked, “What was that, (Y/N)? Couldn’t you just smile through it? You know how I joke.” She tried to be buddy buddy with me now.

“I do, and that wasn’t a joke. Well, not a good one at least. Good jokes are funny. Also, I’ve been smiling through your so-called jokes and dying inside for way too long. I’m done. If you can’t take it, then don’t try to dish it out.”

I held up my finger when my makeup artist redid my lips and smiled at him, “Thanks, Saeran.” I smacked my lips. My smile faded when looking Winnie right in her blue colored contacts. “If the next thing out of your mouth isn’t an apology, I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Alright, 30 seconds everyone!” The director called.

Everyone scrambled to their seats and she kept silent. I scoffed. Of course she wouldn’t apologize. She was too good for that, apparently. As the stream went on, there was more laughter and reading of questions. The games still went on. Once the last one was cleaned up, we could answer ten more questions and then say our goodbyes.

“Question #9 is for (Y/N). Will you ever make a video about the racism and ignorance you have faced in Korea, or is it small enough where it’s not worth talking about?”

“Awwww.” The others went sadly.

I know what I had to say, and I would mean every word of it, “Well, I think the earlier event that happens answers part of your question. I’ve been here a long time, and I’ve mentioned being the victim of ignorance many times. Less than the good times, but I still think it’s about time that it gets its own video. It’ll come sometime January, probably.” I smiled and laughed.

Everyone nodded and then the last question was being read, “Final one. Is there anything you really want for Christmas?”

James said, “A girlfriend would be nice.”

“I’d like to see my dogs back home in Canada.”

“A new look.” was Carlos’s reply.

I thought for a moment before saying, “World peace or a really long nap.”

Everyone smiled and laughed.

“Well, that’s it. Thank you all fo--”

“Actually. I wanna change mine.” Winnie said, surprising everyone.

Girl was about to do some shit, I could just feel it. I braced myself for another snide comment reeking of ego.

She turned to me, “I want (Y/N)’s forgiveness for Christmas.” She stood and bowed at my feet like a proper Korean.

I was shocked to say the least. Was this actually happening? Where was I supposed to look? I wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about this.

“(Y/N) I am sorry. I have been a complete jerk to you for no reason. Honestly, I don’t wanna be known for making cheap shots at you, so I apologize for every one I’ve made and I promise I won’t do it anymore.”

My mouth flapped open several times before I could say something, “Thanks for apologizing. I’ll have to see you actually do what you say before I can completely and honestly forgive you.”

What the fuuuuuuck? I got out of my seat and quickly went to the dressing room where I took off my Christmas suit. The two of us didn’t say anything else to each other than good nights when I left first and “Happy Holidays!” following after. I needed a drink. |

Good thing D had texted me earlier. She said we needed to celebrate me growing a spine. We got wine drunk at her place as people tweeted about the “Feud” between me and Winnie or whatever. When I got home the next day, there were a few boxes waiting for me. I opened them once I was inside.

It was the most beautiful snowy dress ever. Elsa could only dream of such a dress. It was forest green with white beading to make it look as though snowflakes had landed on the dress. Trying it on, it was perfect. How did he know what my sizes were? There was another two boxes. One had snow colored heels and the other had...a tiara! Oh my god!

I couldn’t believe it. I had to text him.

I twirled in the dress for a good hour before finally taking it off. Wow, ok, so I had to do my own makeup for this? I needed to step up my game. Internet beauty gurus here I come! Wait, I needed to eat first. | The day soon arrived where I got my makeup done by a store known for giving free makeovers. I tweaked it to be a bit more sparkly when I got home. We walked the red carpet which is something that I’ve done before but never with someone so popular and kind. It was beautiful inside where all sorts of idols danced and talked to one another.

It was a good time to just relax and chill with Hoseok. I was nervous, but his calming aura put me at ease. While talking people brought up my Winterview, and I stood my ground. A lot of people were proud of me. Hobi seemed to smile every time someone said they were glad I finally stood up to her. Apparently, a lot of people had kept silent about her sucky brand of “humor”

“So, is there anything you wanna do before the new year rings in?”

“I don’t think so. I just wanna enjoy my time with you today and not worry about the future for a little bit y’know?”

He smiled, “You’re so cute. I’m honestly really proud of what you did the other day. It makes me glad to see you speaking for yourself.”

I said thanks and asked if he wanted anything to do before the year was over. He said he wanted to do two things he had never done before. Those two things were 1. Beat Junkook in a round of Overwatch and 2. Do something very Christmassy

“Like what?”

“Drink eggnog, open presents in pajamas, Christmas karaoke, kisssomeoneunderthemistletoe. Y’know. Something like that.”

I blinked, “What was that last one?”

He blushed and no longer met my eyes, “I want to kiss someone under the mistletoe. I’ve always seen it in movies, but I’ve never done it myself. Not like I really could without getting angry fans in return.”

“Why not kiss one of the members. I’m sure the fans will find that cute.”

“Well, mostly because I wanna kiss someone I like in a romantic way or even love. Also, kissing them would just be fan service.

I scoffed, “As if you don’t kiss each other all the time. You’re Jung Hoseok.”

He laughed, “Ah, I guess you’re right, but there’s actually someone I had in mind.”

“Who?”

Hobi took a deep breath and leaned next to my ear, “You...if it’s ok.”

He came away from my ear to look me in the eyes. The question was obvious, but I still couldn’t believe he was actually asking me this. I bit my sparkling magenta lip and nodded. If I could kiss Jung Hoseok, it’d be a dream come true. Even better if I was helping him reach one of his goals as well.

A smile came over his face, “Really?”

“Yes. I would love to my your mistletoe kiss.”

Hoseok squeezed my hands tightly and then searched the skies for the mistletoe drone that was flying the plant to random areas. As the song came to a close, he gently waltzed me to be under it with him. The only problem was that other couples were trying to do the same as well. Fans weren’t allowed to be in here, so it wouldn’t go too viral unless someone mentioned it on social media.

No one usually talked about the balls until months later anyways.

So, when the music finally ended, it was me and J-Hope underneath the mistletoe. No, not J-Hope, Hoseok. This was him and not his public persona. He was the man who wanted me of all people to be his mistletoe kiss.

“Ready?”

I nodded even though I wasn’t sure if I was ready. I wanted this for sure, though. There was no doubt about that in my mind. Both of us closed our eyes, and he smooched my lips. His were so soft. His Christmas pine needle cologne was even stronger than before and pricked my nose. I smiled. It was more than just a peck as he held my face in his hands. My heart was on fire.

He hugged me afterwards, “Thank you.”

“No, thank you.” I replied, a bit breathless.

The two of us danced closer than ever, a new song having come on. It was a bit more upbeat than the previous waltz, but us two just swayed together in our own little world. Even though it had been a hard and stressful couple of weeks full of unexpected events and words from every which way, this had been the best and most unplanned thing.

Hobi bought a dress and crown that made me feel like a princess and then he kissed me underneath the mistletoe. Even if I was in rags, that kiss. Those few seconds would’ve made me feel like a princess anyways.

And with that kiss I knew or at least hoped that he wanted more. He wanted me. What a Merry Christmas it had been, and it wasn’t even over yet.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #176

rape tw

Do you like to have croutons in your salad? Noooonononono. It's a texture thing. Which do you find more irritating - sunburn or bug bites? Sunburn. How many friends do you have on Facebook? Like... 116? How many contacts do you have in your phone? 16. Do you carry any means of protection on you while out in public? No, but I wanna get pepper spray. Would you ever pick up a hitchhiker? No, I'm too paranoid of strangers. Do you know anyone who does cocaine? Not to my knowledge. What is something that most people wouldn’t know about you from simply looking at you? I used to be a super in-shape 117 lb. queen that even then felt slightly fat. :') What’s a quality that your sister has that you absolutely can’t stand? One has a serious temper, the other's... well I dunno. I don't see my older sis enough. Have you ever been to a bachelor or bachelorette party? No. Something you would NEVER buy? Uhhh the first thing that came to my head are snakes that aren't directly from breeders. Both snakes I bought from PetSmart were sick, so. No thanks. Could you wait until marriage for sex? Yeah. Have you ever dated a smoker? If not, would you? No, deal breaker for me. Do you share a middle name with any of your siblings? Yes, Nicole. Do you think your first love still loves you? No, but the feeling's mutual so np. Are you a money saver or spender? I've never had a consistent source of income, but when I do get some from gifts or photography, I've actually proven to be great at saving it for whatever my target is. Hopefully I stay that way when I do have a job. Has a member of the opposite sex ever seen you naked? Yes. Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? Yup. If you have any piercings, who did them? Claire's did my earlobes, then various people from Garry's Skin Grafix and mostly New Addiction did my piercings. Have you ever cried while watching a movie trailer? No. Have you ever been pulled over, but just let off with a warning? Never been pulled. Have you ever taken shots? (of alcohol) Noooo, been offered to take part I think twice, but it's not something I think I ever want to do considering I loathe the taste of alcohol, hence why I only ever drink fruity things with tiny amounts of alcohol. Do you like mash-up songs? Occasionally, I guess? None even come to mind. Would you ever consider adopting a child with a severe mental illness? No, because I have a plethora of my own and don't want to put a child under the supervision of someone with conditions like mine; as well, I'm sorry, but I need to take care of myself. Took me damn long enough to get here, and I'm not going back to how horrible my life was before out of stress and having to handle a child with a severe mental illness. And oh, did I mention the main reason is because I don't in any capacity want kids? Have you ever pole danced before? No. Have you ever seen a live bat? Yeah. Do you listen to classical music? Not intentionally. Do you tell your parents who you like? Why or why not? No. I'll admit I like someone if they ask, but otherwise I just don't see it necessary to walk up to your guardian and just randomly inform them that you have a crush. Are you due for a haircut? Getting there, maybe almost two months from now. Are you dealing with any health-related problems right now? My OCD's been exceptionally bad lately. Do your parents like the music you listen to? Both like certain artists that I do - a lot, really. I do know I also like heavier stuff than them, though. Do your parents approve of your beliefs? Not all. Who’s the most annoying person in your neighborhood? Don't live in one. Name one of your psycho exes? None. I was honestly the psycho ex. I was very rightfully broken, but I shouldn't have done many things I did. Why were they a psycho ex? ^ I wouldn't leave him the hell alone and would pester him on Facebook too much even when I was ignored and, most regrettably, make just enough time to blame him for my ER visits before leaving until he finally blocked me. I sincerely don't blame him if he does consider me "the psycho ex." What’s the best revenge you ever got on someone? I don't care in the slightest about revenge to even think up a situation where I got any. I've never deliberately fished for it. What screen name did you use in 6th grade? FlowerOurQueen ew. What do you look forward to most in the next six weeks? ih crihmus What’s the last movie you saw? Halloween. Who was the last person to call you? This fucking car insurance agency that calls like every goddamn day. I've answered a couple times thinking that it could be VR and promptly hung up upon finding it wasn't. By now, I recognize the three digits after the area code to just ignore them. Who was the last person to leave you a voicemail? VR. Where is your least favorite place to be? Hospitals. Where is your favorite place to be? Sara's house. Do you think the sanctity of marriage is meant for only a man & woman? lol no, grow up, 0-19-y/o me denying your own sexuality in fear of a "loving" god sending you to Hell. :^) Would you like to learn to play the drums? Nah. Is there anybody you just wish would fall off the planet? Types of people. Name one thing you worry about running out of. Motivation to live, again. Do you post to say happy birthday on other people’s walls? Sometimes. Always with close friends. Have there ever been floods where you live? Oh yeah. Do you listen to K-Pop? No. When was the last time you saw a rainbow? Ummm idr, but not very long ago. Sunshower. What’s your favorite television commercial? I don't watch TV anymore, so I don't know any current ones. But it will probably /always/ be the sexy Mr. Clean one because memories fuck me up. Have you ever tried writing a song? Yes. For one of the Nintendogs tracks. I even moved their heads around to the tune of the song. kms What is your favorite type of juice? Peach/mango. Whose birthday did you last celebrate? My nephew's. When you were a kid, did you have a treehouse? No. We didn't have trees built for that, just very tall pine trees. What was the best school year in your opinion? 7th grade; ironically, the year my depression began to seriously manifest. Do you know (of) anyone who has committed suicide? Sadly. When was the last time you flew on a plane? This past October. Take me back. Do you eat meat every day? No. Who taught you how to ride a bike? Dad. Are you a fan of Lana Del Rey? No. How do you cook your rice? Steam, boil, other? I don't cook. Do you like your country’s president or prime minister? Nope. Some of his policies I side with, but his personality absolutely destroys him for me. Do you wear skirts? No. I absolutely hate my legs. What color is your house? Like this khaki sorta color. How many first cousins do you have? I have zero clue. I don't even think I've met some first ones. Off the very top of my head, I know there's at least... nine? Have you ever seen a pop star in concert? No. Do you listen to Christmas music during the holiday season? No, not a fan of most. It doesn't put me in the "Christmas spirit" anyway. Where would you like to vacation to? The Bahamas baby, Sweden, Japan... What time do you set your alarm to? I don't use mine. Nothing to use it for. Do you like ginger ale? No, unless my stomach is upset. What time does the sun set at the time of year where you live? Like 5, and I hate it. Have you ever been skiing? No. When was the last time you moved house? Feb. of last year. What did you last feel nervous about? How in god's name am I blanking here??????????? Over something incredibly trivial, I'm sure. Do you find yourself saying mean things to people over the internet that you wouldn’t say in real life? No. Who is the last person to text you? Sara. Does the person you like know it? HAHA she's got a pretty good idea. Who of the opposite sex has seen you at your worst? Jason or Girt. Girt came to the hospital after hearing about my OD, so my mental state was obviously shit, but Jason saw me in more obvious, externally-expressed emotional breakdowns. Did you have a nap today? Yes. I've been waking up much too early lately. What was the last movie you saw that you really liked? Really liked? Probs Jumanji. Do your best friends live near you? Ha, no. Do you have any stuffed animals saved from when you were a child? A LOT. When is the next time you are traveling outside of the state, province, or country? Where to? I'm sure sometime next year to Sara's. What are your living arrangements currently? Are you happy with them? I live with just my mom and pets. It's fine, though I wish I was emotionally prepared to move out. Hell, and obviously financially. Have you ever had feelings for someone your best friend was dating? N- oh yeah yes, in the Jenna situation. Though I don't truly recall what *kind* of feelings exactly I had. Is there anything written on the shirt you’re wearing? No, surprisingly. How was your first kiss? Super cute. Do you still talk to the person you shared it with? No. Are you the oldest of your siblings? No. Have you ever dated someone who had kids? No; that's a deal-breaker for me. I am not being a mother figure to any child, especially when it's not my own. Have you kissed someone 4 or more years older than you? No. Were your parents married when you were born? Yeah. Does the last person you kissed have tattoos? No. Do you live within 20 miles of where you were born? Yeah. What is your opinions on Valentine's Day? Cheesetastic, is it not? No no no no no I LOVE it!!!! I can't stand that "ugh every day you should appreciate love" shit 'cuz like, why not have a day specifically wrapped around it? Is it hurting anyone in any way shape or form?? What is the last thing you wrote? (typing is not writing, btw) My signature, probably? Do you have an outfit that you consider your "seduction outfit"? lul no. What is the last fruit you have eaten? Uhhh good question. I'm only just back on solids. What was the last injection you received? Was it sore? At the dentist when I had to get a cavity filled. They had to give me no less than 6-7 shots in the same spot to numb me properly, so yeah, it was sore. Have you ever been badly bitten by an animal? No. Favorite sandwich? I'll never turn down a ham, cheese, and mustard one. What characteristics do you despise? Arrogance, manipulative, lack of compassion, anger, two-faced, entirely insensitive, rudeness, raunchiness, the inability to accept one is sometimes wrong and that that's okay, BEING A DRAMA NEST HINT HINT, and I could go on... Where would you retire to? The mountains. What was your most memorable birthday? My 21st. Supposed to be your greatest celebration, yet I was in the mental hospital. It still means the goddamn world to me how my peers and employees tried to make it special. What did you want to be when you were little? First an archaeologist, then a vet. I think I only changed my mind upon realizing the original would've been extremely difficult. Have your parents ever forgotten your birthday? No. Would you rather have some bacon or beef jerky? Bacon. I'm actually not a big fan of the latter, it's too dry and tough. Did the Spanish classes have an “El Dia de Los Muertos” (Day of the Dead) fiesta at school? I don't know, I didn't take Spanish. What’s the most number of comments you have on a Facebook picture? What is the picture of? I have zero clue. Do you like coconut flavored things? nooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO I really don't like coconuts. Have you ever met a famous author before? No. Do you know anybody who has been raped before? I don't believe so? I know many who've been violated or molested, but I don't believe I know a rape victim. How often do you get a fever? Like never. What makes you lose your appetite? Unappetizing scenes or smells and feeling/being sick. Are there any childhood habits you are grateful for or regret? I was taught good manners, for one. I wish chores had been more enforced upon all of us. At what age did you start to wear makeup? Did your mom object at first? I think 9th grade was when I "officially" started? It was freshman year and I had that "it's a new start and you're (this old) now, at least try to look pretty for once" mentality with how my self esteem was on the decline. I did it every day for a long time, until one day I didn't put on anything because I was tired of it and my art classmates (I was close to them) literally asked if I was okay lmao. From then on out, it was sporadic; eyeliner, shadow, and mascara some days, other days, nothing. But anyway no, Mom didn't have a problem. I think I recall her worrying about how it was all black, but she in no way objected. Would you consider yourself an adventurous person? This reeaally depends on the situation. I can't say which I lean more towards... maybe no? Have you ever snuggled with someone you weren’t dating? No. Have you ever been afraid of being underwater? No. Have you ever been drunk at work? No. What band/group have the most lyrics that represent you? I dunno. One thing you really want to learn? Digital art. What is your favorite piece of art you own? I don't own any other than my own work. The most expensive bill I paid last month was ____? N/A What’s the one thing you apologized for this month? @ the Silent Hill wiki, I wasn't understanding why a certain member was giving particular information that appeared irrelevant to me, but he got me to understand. I am extreeemely nit-picky over there, having been active there since '12, and now being a staff member, I'm even more specific. What is the largest TV screen in your house? We only have one, in the living room, but it's been the biggest. What has challenged your morals? Wondering if I was bi in middle school, frustration when I was trying to be abstinent in a serious relationship, pirating (which I still know is wrong asjfawouow), mutually being a flirt with my then-best friend's boyfriend, considering abortion at a much more open-minded angle, the justification of eating meat, my experience in life in relation to religion... Those are the ones that stand out. Who was the last female you hung out with? Mom. Have you ever taken a pregnancy test? No. Do you want to get married? Yes. Does the thought of moving out from home scare you? A bit. Would you rather live in a mansion or a small cozy home? The latter. I'm not paying for superfluous space and spending a gross amount of unnecessary time cleaning. Would you ever try being a vegetarian? I did, but stopped for a few reasons. Do you have any tattoos at the moment? Yeah and NOWHERE NEAR DONE. What about piercings? ^ Do you keep your eyebrows more thick or thin? Natural. What color is your bedroom door? White. Do your shoulder blades protrude? No, give them back to me. Have you ever been to a rave? No. How many bananas have you ever eaten in a row? Two? Do you think you’re the best thing that’s happened to someone? No. Can you make a clover shape with your tongue? No. Do you have a protective father? No. What’s the biggest misconception about you, personally? Uhhh probably that I don't try hard enough, specifically with work, adulthood, socializing, etc. when I'm sincerely doing my best. Are you disrespectful to a lot of people? No. Does your cell phone have a case on it? What color? No. What was the last song you had on repeat? "Family" by Mother Mother. Your most recent ex says he/she hates you, you say? That'd hurt like hell; he's like a bro to me and is the last close friend I have here. I don't know what I'd say. If someone you wanted before came back now, would you take them? Nope. Have you ever had to choose between two people? Sara and Girt. Jason and Juan. If you were to attend a costume party tonight, what or whom would you go as? Good question. What are your choice of toppings on a hamburger? And do you prefer gas or charcoal grilling? Cheese, mustard, ketcup, pickles, a little bit of minced onion. Idk which I prefer. Everyone hears discussions that they consider boring. What topic can put you to sleep quicker than any other? Economics. How many times did it take you to pass your drivers test? N/A What is your highest level of education? Some college. What kind of lunch box did you have as a kid? Idr. Would you rather be trapped in an elevator, or stuck in traffic? Traffic. I'm afraid of elevators. The last thing you remember dreaming about: Everyone I loved left me, so I tried to suffocate myself. Why do I only recall nightmares, ugh. The last place you went: The parlor to get a new bar for my tongue ring. The last alcoholic drink you consumed: A margarita. The last time you felt insulted/offended: I'm unsure. But I feel it was recently? The last time you kissed someone: October 17th weeps. The last time you held a baby: Months ago when Colleen needed me to hold Keegan. The last time you gave up on or quit something: Vegetarianism. The last video game you played: I finally got a new disc of Shadow of the Colossus!!!!! :'D I'm replaying it and doing both Time Attack modes to get Agro's white coat. The last television show you watched: Fullmetal Alchemist w/ Sara. Are you afraid of shots? No, I just anticipate it being unpleasant. How many times have you donated blood? Once. Would you date someone 15 years older than you? No. What’s the worst sickness you’ve ever had? An awful stomach virus. I wouldn't stop vomiting. What was the last classic novel you read? Did you enjoy it? I couldn't tell ya. Something in high school. Do you think Gatorade tastes refreshing or just gross? I hate it. What’s the scariest video game you’ve ever played? I personally think Outlast is overall the scariest game made thus far, but one I can't play because of the intense jumpscares is SCP Containment Breach. What about your life concerns you the most? Future financial position. If you were a different gender, what name would you want to have? Ummm Severin. What product or service do you find ridiculously overpriced? Certain clothing and makeup brands, like half the shit doesn't even look that great. How many people, outside of your immediate family, do you know the birthdays of by heart? At least six. Would you rather take a walk in the cold rain, or in the blistering heat? Definitely the former. If you had the chance to slip through a portal, despite being aware of any of effects and/or consequences, would you do it? No. Do you trust your gut instinct? I try to, but don't always. Which parent was more strict when you were growing up? Mom. What are some things that initially attract you to the preferred sex? CHARISMA, kindness, concern for others, a love of animals, and being a gamer oops. What is the saddest thing that has happened to you? What about the happiest? The breakup and eventual suicide attempt are definitely the saddest. The happiest, easily the last day of Holly Hill when everyone was telling me goodbye and I felt like I was ready to really live again. When was the last time someone scared you? Sara had me worried something was wrong involving me, but it wasn't. Name the strangest game you’ve ever played (video game or real game): Silent Hill 3 is so fucking weird but also one of the best horror games ever. Name something that you saw within the past week that made you smile: Probably Teddy being cute. Name something within the past week that made you frown: I don't think I have physically frowned this week. Name somebody you know who deserves a better life than they have: My mom. Name something that you hope is different by this time next year: My social anxiety has improved. Name something that you’re good at but don’t like: Um I have no clue. Name something that you’re bad at but DO like: Drawing anthro characters. Name something that you strongly believe in: Gay rights. Do you like pudding? Chocolate pudding. Do you tend to use a lot of big words? No, it's unnecessary. Just talk so people can understand you and not wonder what five words you said mean. Do you fall for guys/girls easily? NOPE. When someone copies you, are you more flattered or annoyed? Annoyed. Which is worse: Stale chips or flat soda? Stale chips. Flat soda doesn't bother me very much. What’s one show that you wish was still on the air? Deadman Wonderland. Have you ever used a port-a-potty? Omg yeah I know I have at sports practice or games as a kid. I absolutely never would again. What was the last stinky thing you smelled? Teddy's pee; he wet his diaper, and we know he has some kind of infection with how rancid it is sometimes, but we don't even bother anymore because it's recurring. What’s your favorite outdoor activity? Photographing nature.

[halloweentv]

Netflix and chills!

v.2017

Celebrate Halloween on Netflix! Below is a list of Halloween themed shows and movies available on Netflix streaming that you can play for Halloween! Enjoy!

Stranger Things

S1 After a game of D and D with his friends Will disappears. His friends try to find him but instead find a mysterious girl

S2

Takes place during Halloween and the boys dress as the ghostbusters. 

Supernatural S4 It’s the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester” Investigating two mysterious deaths in a small town, Sam and Dean discover a witch is sacrificing people to summon a dangerous demon. 

Friends

S8 “The One with the Halloween Party” At Monica’s Halloween party, Phoebe becomes attracted to her two sister’s fiancé.

Frasier

S5 “Halloween”&#157; Niles hosts a Halloween party for the Library Association where the guests dress as literary characters.

S9 “Room full of heroes”&#157; Frasier has a Halloween party and asks his guests to dress as their heroes. 

American Horror Story

S1 “Halloween Part 1 & 2″ the ghosts can leave the house on halloween night. Tate runs into some ghosts from his past. S3 “Fearful Pranks Ensue”&#157; the witches raise the dead on Halloween S4 “Edward Mordrake Part 1 & 2″ the freaks don’t want to perform on halloween in fear of a ghost coming to visit.

Freaks and Geeks “Tricks and Treats” - Lindsay spends Halloween making mischief with her new friends while Sam goes trick or treating even though he’s in High School now.

Parenthood S2 “Orange Alert” The Bravermen’s gear up to celebrate their favorite holiday, Halloween! Max wants to go trick or treating for the first time, so his parents do their best to prepare him for the night, since he is on the spectrum.

Parks and Recreation S2 “Greg Pikitis” Leslie enlists the help of Dave and Andy in order to catch a local teen vandal. Meanwhile, Ann struggles to make her Halloween party fun and gets help from an unlikely source. S4 “Meet n Greet” Ben is mad when Andy and April decide to throw a Halloween party at their house without asking him. Tom emcees an event for Leslie’s campaign but manages to also promote his company. Meanwhile, Ron and Ann give Andy and April an unusual wedding present.

13 Reasons Why

“Tape 2 Side B” Its Halloween in the present and Clay strikes back at someone who wronged Hannah. In the past Hannah thinks someone is stalking her. 

Jem

S2 “Trick or Techrat” Jem and friends encounter spooky mishaps while preparing an old opera house for a Halloween concert

Fuller House

S2 “Curse of Tanner Manor” DJ attempts to throw the scariest Halloween party for Max. Stephanie works as a zombie at a haunted house.

Star Trek TOS

S2 “Catspaw” Kirk and the crew land on a planet with a spooky castle and witches.

Pac’s Scary Halloween

Sinister Dr. Pacenstein schemes to swap bodies with Pac during a Halloween party.

Pac Man and the Ghostly Adventures

S1 “A Berry Scary Night”  Count Pacula attempts to drain the last yellow orb in Pac World on Halloween night. 

S2 “The Shadow of the were-pac” Pac and his friends are confronted by spooky space ghost pirates. 

The Real Ghostbusters

S1 “When Halloween was forever” An ancient spirit shows up in New York to make Halloween last forever. And Frankenstein is groovin!

S2 “Halloween II ½” While everyone is trick or treating on Halloween Sam Hain escapes.

S4 “The Halloween Door” Crowley wants to end Halloween once and for all and does so even without the help of the ghost busters. 

Cult of Chucky

Chucky has some scores to settle with some old enemies.

Young Frankenstein

In this pitch perfect parody, the grandson of the infamous Dr. Frankenstein follows in his footsteps and creates a monster and puts on the ritz!

Tales of Halloween

Anthology series of shorts set on Halloween. Including trick or treating aliens and kidnappers in way over their heads.

Mr. Young

S3 “Mr. Candy” The gang are hungover from too much candy the previous night and struggle to put together the events from Halloween.

Cheers

S3 “Fairy tales can come true” Cliff meets the woman of his dreams at the bar on Halloween night but is afraid of meeting her when he’s not in costume. 

S10 “Bar Wars V: The Final Judgement” Sam’s latest trick may have killed Gary, but is it really Gary who is playing the trick on Sam?

Charmed S3 “All Halliwell’s Eve” The sister’s go to the 1600’s to save a witch and her baby

Family Guy S9 “Halloween on Spooner Street” Stewie’s candy is stolen by bullies

F is for Family

S1 F is for Halloween” Frank secretly torpedoes Sue’s shot at a real job and a bully leaves Bill afraid to don his costume.

How I met Your Mother S1 “Slutty Pumpkin” Ted holds out hope of seeing the Slutty Pumpkin, a girl he met at a Halloween before. S7 “The Slutty Pumpkin Returns” Ted finally meets the slutty pumpkin again.

Girl Meets World

S1 “Girl Meets World of Terror″ Augie hosts scary Halloween tales and meets a monster under his bed.

S2 “Girls Meets World of Terror 2″ Riley and Maya discover the ghost a flapper living in the bay window. 

S3 “Girl Meets World of Terror 3″ Augie does a scary time theater and shows what the world would be like if Riley and Maya never became friends. 

Power Rangers S1 “Trick or Treat” Kimberly goes on a Halloween game show…cuz those exist. S1 “Life’s a Masquerade” Isn’t set on Halloween but has a cool Frankenstein monster in it. and costumes. S2 “Zedd’s Monster Mash” Tommy faces some real Halloween monsters after he’s kidnapped by Goldar. 

Power Rangers Samurai “Party Monsters” and “Trickster Treat”

Power Rangers Megaforce “Raising Spirits” 

Power Rangers Dino Charge “The Ghostest with the Mostest” and in Dino Super Charge “Trick or Trial”

Dreamworks Spooky Stories “Scared Skrekless” Shrek and Co tell scary stories “Monsters vs Aliens Mutant pumpkins” Ginormica and co battle mutant pumpkins! Dreamworks Spooky Stories Vol. 2 “Monsters Vs Aliens: night of the Living Carrots” Picks up right after the previous special Also included another MVA short, Megamind, and Shrek.

From R.L. Stine: Monsterville A group of kids find out a haunted maze at the carnival is more realistic than they thought.

Mostly Ghostly 3

As Max tries to help his ghost pals Nicky and Tara find their parents, he stumbles on an enchanted crystal–and an evil new plot by Phears. 

Goosebumps

Good show for the season but the Halloween episodes in particular are S5 “The Haunted Mask” Carly Beth’s scary mask begins to change her. S5 “The Haunted Mask 2” A boy’s creepy Halloween mask won’t come off and begins to harm him. S2 “Attack of the Jack O'Lanterns” Jack O‘Lantern aliens terrorize some trick or treaters. 

Goosebumps Movie

A teen moves to a new town and falls for the girl next door but soon finds out her dad is R.L. Stine and his book characters become all too real. 

The Haunting Hour series

Another good show for the season. The halloween episode is S2 “Pumpkinhead” - a group of siblings fear the legend of a farmer who takes kids heads and turns them into pumpkins.

————- Glee S2 the class attempts to out on a performance of Rocky Horror for Halloween. 

New Girl S2 “Halloween” Jess gets hired as a zombie at a haunted house. S3 “Keaton” Jess hosts a Halloween party and a Michael Keaton batman costume helps cheer up Schmidt. Spooky Buddies The buddies encounter the Halloween Hound and evade an evil sorceror on Halloween night. . Louie S3 “Halloween/Ellie” Louie takes his daughters trick or treating and encounter some punks.

Malcolm in the Middle S2 “Halloween Approximately” -Malcolm and his brothers build the ultimate stealth weapon. S7 “Halloween” - Reese and Dewey evade an old man they egged while Loos tries to get out of work so she can trick or treat. 

My Babysitter’s a Vampire S2  "Halloweird" In a total “not rip off” of Buffy, a mask makes people turn into real-life versions of their costumes.

The Vampire Diaries S1 “Haunted” Matt takes Vicky to a haunted hous ebut the night takes a terrifying turn

That 70’s Show S2 “Halloween” The gang visit their old burnt down school while Kitty remincies about their first Halloween in the house. S3 “Too Old to Trick or Treat, Too young to Die” A Halloween episode filled with parodies of Alfred Hitchcock movies: “Rear Window”, “Vertigo”, “The Birds”, “North By Northwest” and “Psycho”.

CSI Miami “By the Book” A body is found that appears to have had the blood drained by a Vampire

Bones “Mummy in the Maze” A mummy found in a Halloween maze leads to an investigation. Bones has a Wonder-ful costume!

The Office S2 Halloween Downsizing leads corporate headquarters to order Michael to fire somebody by the end of October. Michael procrastinates until Halloween, when he still has not decided whom to fire. When he decides to fire Creed, Creed manages to convince Michael to fire Devon. S6 Koi Pond While on the way to a business meeting, Michael falls into a koi pond. The staff tease him so he holds an anti-bullying seminar. Pam and Andy go cold-calling to stir up some new business; they reluctantly use clients’ mistaking them as a couple to their advantage. S7 Costume Contest Michael freaks out when Darryl goes over his head by taking an idea to corporate. The employees partake in a Halloween costume contest in the office. Meanwhile, Pam tries to get the truth from Danny about their dating history. S8 Spooked Erin works to make a spooky, non-childish Halloween party, with help from Gabe. Dwight becomes friends with Robert’s son, and Pam and Jim debate the existence of ghosts. Meanwhile, Robert tries to figure out everyone’s deepest fears in order to culminate a ghost story.

It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia S6 “Who got Dee Pregnant” The gang think back to their Halloween party to figure out who got Dee pregnant.

Pretty Little Liars S2 “The First Secret” in a flashback some backstory to the mystery of A is revelaed. S3 “This is a Dark Ride” The girls get aboard the Rosewood ghost train S4 “Grave New World” A clue suggests that Ali may still be alive so they crash a cemetery party to find her.

[umbraja]

Half Baked Goods

This is a list of ideas I'm keeping partially to remind myself so I don't forget them but also to get some feedback on if anyone wants to see them developed.

If you're interested in any of these ideas being finished please let me know so I can move that up on my list of priorities. As you can see, I've got a lot of ideas all competing for attention so I'm only working on the ones that other people actually want to see.

Some of the things on this list are continuations of stuff I've already posted so I've got them linked to that.

Works in Progress

Things for the Kidge Zine - This beast is taking up almost all of my time.

Collab Artwork - This one's a drawing, might end up animated.

Monsters and Mana Fic - I HC Keith as a closet nerd so I just couldn't help myself.

D&D Module - Working with a few artists to make a 5e D&D module based off my M&M fic.

Rover Models - Prototyping 3D models with LED lighting.

Space Caterpillars - Prototyping plushies.

Kosmo - Prototyping plushies.

GoT AU - An art series that took over my life recently.

Keith (Jon) Snow - Keith looking badass with Longclaw and Kosmo as Ghost.

Pidgett (Ygritte) - Pidge in furs with a bow - not the ribbon kind.

Allurys Targaryen - Mother of Dragonmice.

Hunk (Sam) Tarly - Hunk and Sam are basically the same person - the sweet cinnamon rolls.

Lance (Oberyn) Martell - I considered Loras Tyrell but, come on, the spear.

Shiro - I need help with this.

VLD Mix Tape - A collection of songfics from various genres, set in various AUs, some canon, featuring various ships and all the feels.

Simple Man - Based on the song "Simple Man" by Lynyrd Skynyrd. Originally this was going to be for Desert Keith Week but I didn't get it done in time. Some real good Keith and Krolia angsty sweetness.

When I Die - Based on the song "Wolves" by Down Like Silver. Pretty much Keith's thought process in that last scene of Season 4. Sad AF and super short but I'm working on illustrations to make up for it. Will post when the art is done.

Rough Ideas

Possible One Shots - These are probably going to be shorts but I never can tell and could all end up sprawling AUs given my track record with trying to write shorts.

Red Thread - Gritty Soulmates AU, future noir conspiracy plot where the government pairs people by a system that supposedly traces Red Threads to match soulmates but it’s imperfect and corrupt. Keith is a hard boiled detective, Pidge is a tech genius and daughter of a renowned scientist who is openly critical of the soulmate pairing system and hires Keith to find her father when he goes missing.

Douglas Adams Tribute (working title) - Almost Canon AU style study where I tortur- I mean, where Shiro gets thrown into the sort of absurd adventure that you would expect from the creator of the Hitchhiker's Guide, Dirk Gently, and some classic episodes of Dr Who. I want this sooo bad but it takes so long to write like that.

80s Romance (working title) - Modern AU where Keith's parents are living one of those fiery, doomed romances that make for such great stories but kind of shitty lives. Thank the-ghost-of-keith-kogane for this one. I might integrate it into my Quiet Kind AU cuz it fits.

Dancing in the Dark - Modern AU where Keith works dispatch for the university police at his school and his desk just happens to overlook the dance studios where he can't help but watch Lance practice every night.

More to Lose - Canon Divergent AU in which everything is basically the same but when the war ends and they go home the others find out that Keith had motivations to save Earth beyond just natural heroic tendencies and he actually did leave something (someone) behind.

Identity - Canon Divergent AU where Shiro is acting strange (so maybe canon?) and has a bit of a mental break that leads down an insanity spiral into Lovecraftian horror.

VLD Mix Tape - A collection of songfics from various genres, set in various AUs, some canon, featuring various ships and all the feels.

Stuff that Works - Based on the song "Stuff that Works" by Guy Clark. Basically a music video for my Quiet Kind fic. Soooft Kidge and real friendship between the Paladins.

Champion - Based on the song "Champion" by Barns Courtney. Not just about Shiro.

In the Valley - Based on the song "Through the Valley" by Shawn James. Basically a music video for the Western AU listed below.

Only Human - Based on the song "Human" by Rag 'n' Bone Man. This just screams of Shiro.

Broken - Based on the song "Broken" by DNMO & Sub Urban. Something with Lotor.

Wisdom of Officer #3 - Based on the song "Girls on Trampolines" by Ludo. Cuz even Paladins need to have fun sometimes.

Probably Series - These are probably going to be longer works, anywhere from three to infinite parts.

Trip the Light - Canon Divergent AU where Keith comes into contact with some strange alien I'll just call it a drug and, well. . . Keith without inhibitions is a beautiful and terrifying thing.

In the Valley - Western AU where the Paladins have to save a frontier town being threatened by Rail Barrons (Galra). Shiro is the sheriff, Pidge is his deputy, Matt's the sawbones, Lance manages the cat house, Hunk tends the saloon, Coran is the priest, Allura is Coran's niece and the school marm, Keith is a gunslinger.

Rabbit Hole - Almost Canon AU where Voltron has fans and they are very much like the real fandom (without the ship wars) and when Pidge stumbles across it she shows the others which kind of breaks Keith cuz he doesn't like how accurate some of the information is and thinks there could be a spy and this could be dangerous so it's tinfoil hat time!

Elsewhere - Canon Divergent AU where the Paladins stumble upon a Fey Gate into a fantasy realm where they get to meet all my OCs and participate in the insanely huge uber plot I've been running D&D groups through for decades now.

Reflections AU - A canon compliant (for the most part) series of (so far) fluffy team bonding moments that lead to introspective scenes where Keith slowly opens up to each of the others about himself. Kind of an excuse to get down some of my headcanon for Keith's past. Parts of this are already published but here's some ideas for more.

Lance (working title) - Keith opens up to Lance.

Pidge (working title) - Keith opens up to Pidge.

Allura (working title) - Keith opens up to Allura.

Hell in a Handbasket - Series of gritty, realistic vignettes showing the progression of what went wrong in Keith's past to make him the way he is. Backstory behind the fluffy parts. Waiting to see what season 6 does with Keith's mom on this.

Country Christmas - Adorable vignette of Keith's childhood in the Texas panhandle to make up for that darkness and prove it wasn't all bad. I didn't finish it in time for 2017 but I'll probably have this out for 2018.

Lone Star AU - Modern AU, Lance PoV, Klance that was going to be a much longer work but I don't have time to finish it and reader feedback suggested it would be better just to focus on the relationship dynamic between Lance and a closeted, slightly homophobic, rodeo Keith anyway. So that's what this is. Parts of this are already published but here's some ideas for more.

Au Naturale - Lance talks to Keith about skincare, or the lack thereof.

La Grange - How Lance met Keith and what started his Telecaster crush.

Bullrider - Lance observes one of Keith's hobbies.

Rattlesnake Roundup - Texas has some strange traditions and Lance can't wrap his head around this one so of course Pidge forces him to attend.

Hermanos AU - Canon Divergent AU, started as a request fill for a 5/1 where the team slowly realises that Keith and Lance are adopted brothers but I'm seriously considering expanding it into a multipart AU.

Homecoming - The Paladins return to Earth and Keith goes home with Lance. Waiting to see what season 6 does with Keith's mom on this.

New Kid - Look at the past when Keith first went to live with the McClains.

Brothers - Rewrite of the original fic but from Keith and Lance's perspective.

The Paladin Saga - Canon Divergent AU that was going to be an insanely long work where I keep mostly to canon but fill in plot holes with eldritch horrors, tie up loose ends in ancient myths, and shed light on the "legend" of Voltron to show a much darker history than Allura would like to admit while also letting humans be a little badass for once. This one was gonna be a long, sprawling epic full of Lovecraftian horror and moral ambiguity but I don't have time to finish it and reader feedback (or lack thereof) suggested I should focus on my fluffier works. Here's a list of chapters anyway, not a complete list mind you and possibly a bit out of order:

Is it Real - The Paladins refuse to believe Kolivan when he tells them Keith is dead.

Space Between - Keith wakes up in a strange place and finds something Dark there.

Fire and Darkness - The Paladins get Keith back but the Darkness has affected him.

Sins of the Father - Lotor tells the Paladins what Zarkon told him of the Darkness.

Waking Dreams - Keith struggles with the Dark, Shiro loses time, Lance gets visions.

Scorched Earth - Shiro loses control, Keith puts him down, Hunk keeps them all alive.

Things I've Seen - Lance tells others about his visions, Coran tells them about the Price.

King of Death - Zarkon returns from the dead (again) with a new weapon.

When the Arm Breaks - The Red Lion pays a heavy price to save the others.

Tides Turn - The Galra rally under Zarkon and his new power.

Devil You Know - An unlikely ally offers the Paladins help.

Fool's Errand - The Paladins make a desperate move to save Red.

The Dreamer Awakens - The Paladins find a sixth Lion and Allura gets an upgrade.

A Sword Reforged - The Paladins return with Voltron made whole and defeat the Galra.

At What Cost - The Coalition takes power but peace isn't easy and bills are due.

The War to Come - The Paladins learn of their part in an ancient prophecy.

See You on the Other Side -

[ferelden-doglord]

I was tagged by @queenofkadaara @holy-squirrel-of-death @ilonavic and @lithialetheia  thank you sweethearts <333 RULES: 1. answer the new questions given by the previous person 2. write 11 new questions 3. tag 11 people this is gonna be long so i will put it under line

i. what music genre do you usually listen to?

currently pagan/rock/electro/metal/pop

ii. what words would you use to describe your aesthetics?

wild flowers/slavic folklor/wooden objects/forest/wolves

iii. favorite tea flavor?

wild flowers - the best tea i ever had

iv. favorite time period? why?

pagan europe because i feel strong connection to nature and animals and european pagans werent murdering wolves and other predators for being evil they werent destroying nature for money... sure they didnt always treat animals 100% nicely but they had big respect for animals and nature and it all dissapeared with christianization

v. favorite motto / quote?

“There is some good in this world, and it's worth fighting for.”

vi. language you wished you speaked?

finnish, polish, swedish, old norse

vii. name of your first plushie / stuffed animal? do you still have it? and while we are at it, do you still have plushies?

i had too many plushies as kid and they all had names I cant really remember the first one :c but maybe myšák (mouse) it was small stuffed mouse.. and yeah i still got plushies but theyre hidden in a box

viii. what color do you wear the most?

uh...black or blue..my clothes are mostly these colors

ix. favorite ice cream flavor?

cinnamon

x. most emotional fictional moment? can be from video games, books, movies, etc.

when Newt died (Maze Runner books), also Milva from Witcher books... basically deaths of my favourite characters :/

xi. if you could make one fictional character real, which one would you pick?

I wanna say Iorveth but I know he would hate me? so..probably Leliana

1. Who’s your favourite celebrity and why?

Richard Harmon - hes an inspiration for me because he also had to deal with being bullied in his life and hes also very insecure about himself but tries to hide it from others and be nice and kind person

2. What’s your favourite song lyrics (either whole song or just a few lines) and why?

Somebody to die for - Hurts it just describes me perfectly? because i live for other people not for myself

3. Which dead fictional character would you bring back to life?

MILVA!!!!!!! SHE DESERVED TO LIVE AND HAVE HAPPY LIFE

4. What’s your favourite weather?

warm but not too much with breeze and occasionally sun shining

5. What do you think happens after death?

first its nothing.. but then you get reincarnated... i somehow believe in reincarnation...or i want to...its more comforting to believe theres chance for another and hopefully better life than to just shut down and be surrounded by darkness

6. Which planet do you like most?

Mars - its my planet :D Im aries and also my name Marcela has roots in the name Mars

7. What have you dreamt about lately?

eh....spending time with person i love

8. What’s your favourite topic to talk about?

animals also games

9. What do you do when you’re sad?

write whiny post on tumblr lol.... well mostly i just cry and hug my pillow

10. Which taste do you like best: sweet, salty, sour, bitter or spicy?

sweet!!!! gosh how much i love sweet taste! but i cant eat anything sweet now

11. Do you have any words, that you use really often? 

in czech - jakože, hele, no, in english - like, well, omg,

i. what is your happiest and saddest memory?

happiest...hmmm i dont think i can go into details here? for reasons...but basically when i was very close with certain person.. and saddest when my dog i had since i was kid died

ii. what/who is your most precious possession or person in your life? 

well my laptop is very precious because its the most expensive thing i ever owned lol.. and most precious person? only one? my friends are all precious and very important to me

iii. what character describes you the most?

Iorveth! We both have anger issues and cant chill for a moment..we are both loyal tho

iv. favorite time period? why?

already answered - pagan europe

v. favorite meal?

pizza!!!!

vi. what profession will you most likely work as?

graphic designer or something like that

vii. name of your favorite song?

hmmmm....... Kiss - I was made for loving you

viii. what is your favorite season/weather?

summer because the rest of the year is usually pretty cloudy and rainy in the part of the country where i live..

ix. why did you originally join Tumblr?

to look at pics of my favourite kpop bands...then i stayed for funny posts

x. what movie/game/book has made the most impact on you?

movie - princess mononoke or requiem for a dream..both very emotional movies that made me overthink some things

game - dragon age and witcher - dragon age helped me to deal with my sadness and witcher helped me to be not ashamed to be slav

book - the hunger games - i really needed some story with strong female figure in it

xi. what do you wish would disappear from the world?

cruelty

I. What’s your favorite flower? Why? Does it have some special meaning for you?

blue rose - it looks soo beautiful! sometimes i buy it for myself it brings me such happiness...mostly because its blue and im obsessed with blue things...i dont think theres special meaning behind it

II. Which song describes you better?

uh i guess Somebody to die for - Hurts ..again

III. Do you like classical music? Who’s your favorite composer?

I like some songs tbh... my favourites are Beethoven and Tchaikovsky

IV. In which city would you like to live?

I dont wanna live in city at all but I guess Brno? Cuz theres my university and I would be far away from my family

V. What’s your favorite mythical creature? Why?

Werewolf! because i love wolves

VI. What’s your favorite word?

in czech kejklíř (juggler) in english ivory

VII. Who’s the person you desire to meet currently?

my witcher squad and some other friends! <3333

VIII. What’s your favorite profession?

artist

IX. Who’s the person you admire the most?

:D im shy to write her name.... lets just say shes awesome person and artist and big inspiration for me

X. If you could be a fictional character which movie, book or videogame would you like to be in?

witcher omg.... i would meet all my favourite characters in there and finally find out if we would actually get along

XI. Can you post a photo of your favorite accessory? It can a ring, necklace, bracelet, piercing, glasses, etc., something you usually like to wear.

 Its Svetovid pendant... I wear it all the time 

my questions:

1. Is there something you’re glad you got rid off? 2. If you could have your house decorated in some style what would it be? 3. Any dreams that actually came true? 4. Ever had done something on impulse like for example - got piercing, tattoo or different hairstyle? 5. Want to learn to play some musical instrument? Which one? 6. Vampires or werewolves? 7. Drawing on paper or on tablet? Which one is better? 8. Is there food you would never taste? 9. The best gift you ever received? 10. Any uncommon pet you would like to keep? 11. What never fails to make you laugh? I will tag @welttraeumerin @your-brain-on-elfroot @jedirangerpenguin @piierogis @alifelongpassed @fangirled-into-the-sun @thirstyforred @midori-n @wadefuckingwilscn @akishito @dovabunny

[bucketofchum]

Learn about Modo

Tagged by @missmellifluous. I’ll put this under a cut too I guess.

1. Coke or Pepsi: I don’t like soda, but pepsi? It tastes sweeter. But I can’t handle carbonation. 

2. Disney or Dreamworks: Both...? I feel like Disney gets a lot of the credit for a lot of things Dreamworks does. Disney does seem more classic, but Dreamworks does take more risks.

3. Coffee or Tea: Neither? I don’t really drink either. I’ve had more tea than coffee though. But like, not the kind with bags and cream and stuff. I don’t understand that.

4. Books or Movies: Both? I definitely watch more movies than I read books though. Easier to consume. But books just fuck me up when I’m done.

5. Windows or Mac: Mac

6. DC or Marvel: Marvel mostly, but I do love me some Bat Family. Grayson is the fave.

7. X-box or Playstation: Sorry I don’t game...I’m......fake gamer guy......

8. Dragon Age or Mass Effect: ........I don’t know........

9. Night Owl or Early Riser: Um, does it count if I just don’t sleep? Am I both? Mostly night owl. 

10. Cards or Chess: ...neither...???? idk. I mean I played Yugioh, which is a card game.

11. Chocolate or Vanilla: Chocolate.

12. Vans or Converse: I have never worn either. But they both look nice.

13. Lavallan, Trevelyan, Cadash, or Adaar:

Who...

14. Fluff or Angst: I love me some fluff but I live the angst.

15. Beach or Forest: Forest! I could spend my life in the woods. Can’t spend more than 2 days on the beach...

16. Dogs or Cats: porque no los dos

17. Clear Skies or Rain: Clear skies. I like being able to go out.

18. Cooking or Eating Out: Cooking. Save money. Plus I’m a good cook.

19. Spicy Food or Mild: idk it depends. Some things taste better spicy, some things taste better mild. But I don’t think I’ve ever made anything without adding hella seasonings...

20. Halloween/Samhin or Solistice/Yule/Christmas: idk does it matter when you don’t celebrate anything? I like Halloween though. For the aesthetic.

21. Little too cold or little too hot: Can I just have normal temperature...? Probs too hot. I feel like I will fall asleep and never wake up if it’s too cold. Plus, I have lived just fine in the literal desert without AC. But I have also lived in a place where I could see my breath indoors and...no thanks...I don’t want that for me ever again. I want to be able to feel all my extremities. I have too many bad cold experiences.

22. Superpower: Um, teleportation? That would solve the issue of global food distribution. 

23. Animation or Live Action: Animation for sure.

24. Paragon or Renegade: ???? I try to be a paragon but I guess I’m always a renegade. Unwilling renegade?

25. Bath or Showers: When was the last time I had a bath...

26. Team Cap or Team Ironman: This breaks my heart cuz like. In the movie, Tony was just trying to do Good(TM). - @kayvsworld I usually like Steve but I didn’t like him all that much in that movie.

27. Fantasy or Sci-Fi: Eh? Idk, neither? I consume more fantasy media though. (fantasy costco theme song plays in the background)

28. Fav Quotes:  We often complain about “society” as a whole, but what we often forget is that we comprise society. If we want to change society, we must change ourselves. (fuck I think that was a quote from myself - what an asshole)

29. Youtube or Netflix: I don’t follow any youtubers, so I just use youtube for music. I guess Netflix.

30. Harry Potter or Percy Jackson: Never read either. *shrinks away in fear from all the hate I’ll get for this*

31. When I Feel Accomplished: When I’ve helped make someone happy (:

32. Star Wars or Star Trek: idk it’s been a long time since I’ve watched Star Trek. I remember I liekd Data and that was it. I know it had some pretty monumental moments, like first interracial kiss - and also had an Asian lead actor!! But I’m mostly caught up on Star Wars. So they each have their perks I guess.

33. Paperback Books or Hardback: Either? Paperback is easier to read, but I’m anxious not to damage to books.

34. A world without literature or music: idk - both would seem pretty shitty. I don’t listen to music much, but I play violin. But all the world’s history is contained in literature, so probs literature.

35. Who was the last person to make me laugh: idk probs @necromilk 

36. Sour or Sweet Candy: Both? I don’t eat candy much. 

37. Believe in aliens?: Um, I think it’s statistically improbable that extraterrestrial life does not exist. It’s just....not very likely that there are no “aliens”

38. Dawn or Dusk: Well I like sunsets more than sunrises, so dusk? BUT. There is nothing more satisfying than waking up at the ass crack of dawn, just as the sun rises. Idk.

39. Piercings or Tattoos: I have a piercing but not a tattoo, so I guess...piercings? I could see myself getting more piercings but not really tattoos.

40. Girls? Hot?: Yes.

41. Snow or Fog: Snow! It’s better than rain because the slow melting allows better percolation into the ground without runoff. (:

42. Sleep facing the wall or room: idk doesn’t matter. I move around too much (both locations, sleeping arrangements, and in my sleep) for it to matter. When I’m tired, I just crash.

43. TRC of AFTG: what.

44. Horror or Drama: uM.... I’m a big weenie who is bad at horror. But dramas are kind of boring :/

45. Orcarina of Time or Majora’s Mask: Are these video games....

46. Living in nature or city: Definitely nature. Like I said, I could live just fine in the woods.

47. Any addictions: Uh...tumblr...?

48. Languages: English and French are the only fluent ones. Then I got lil bits of: Chinese, German, Hindi.

49. What music do I listen too: Fuck anything. Mostly 60s-80s junk. Musicals stuff? Music from cartoons. Schoolhouse rock. Crap, basically. Oh, I do like electroswing though. (:

50. Fav mythical creature: idk m8. I don’t put much thought into this stuff. Sphinxes are cool I guess. Riddles n shit. (I’ve got hella centaur characters tho)

51. Safe zone: I’m never safe. Anywhere. >_>

52. First fandom: Um, power rangers? Maybe? I learned English watching Power Rangers.

53. Cartoons or Adult Shows: Cartoons probs. I’m a big baby.

54. Current music: Uh, Griffin McElroy’s soundcloud.

55. Favorite starter?: Is this a pokemon question?

56.  What would your witch’s familiar be? That’s an animal, right? Probably something useless, like a chinchilla. 

Tagging....  

@interstellerace  @smol-lucio @bees-smile-at-flowers @elsendor-personal @iamterra @mongooseland @not-even-a-grandma @a-common-nook @blackturtlesofdeath @machinedoggerism @arebone

I believe @syntaxeme was already tagged but you might wanna see my responses haha

People I wanna tag but can’t seem to tag: @spunkiestein and @llucioo 

[the-firebird69]

Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Almost Cut My Hair (Extended Version)

talkin talking and talking macs tisk tisk.  you don't live in reality.  your life is a lie your movies your astronauts telescopes intel data and witnesses areall on meth or saccharin or drugs and your tbi lets you laze around,due to nothing happening as you say.

and you stick your fag expressions in my face out of absolute arrogance having not eer returned from any other place having gotten here recently.  makes no sense.  none.  bluf or no we need adefinitive answer.  when your all gone we shall have it.

a wall is up tons knew and know.  lots blame you and yours some us.  no mater whose it is we flood. makesno sense...but that tons don't know and you let them die.  send them off hiding the truth holding their dollars telling on them all the time.  noteven used as a threat...norproper burial.  just whores for a hope you have no intel on at all.  and the northwill be ours.  and you will all be dead. 

we have confidence in our system here now. it is smooth.  he ironed out some detailes but we had it.  now have it tight.  and it is good he said to thought we mayexperience influx we did.  and you missed all our shows to sit nd yell like mr handshit on is lazy boy or sofa...losers really. 

it is a joke you took trump a wrker nd ruined him.  as you do all yours ghwb and buried him with stupid stuff. and now you work our son so we hit you your useless.we chopped you in half again and you cannot feel it.  after tonight you will.  your government gone  you will know it.  and feel it.  no to this yes to that mb to this no more your on your own.  and we know we can get him stuff. 

f off means just that in English. youwant to torture us with our own systems and comm so you will eat it now.  fools.  and you will fail in every endeavor and sit grinning like fat idiots.   moronic idits.  no caldera no ice.  no moon.  no wwiii.  just a hostage you cant touch at your prime.  how droll you are.  and how mean.  and dumb.  very dumb.  hilarious he says you act like really really dumb animals.  no pralell yet.

tossed out all you need to control him and think it works.  it wont.  your outrageous w your commentstoo.

we tell ya what you do that again and your gone ok gone  we send ppl after any who do that. and theircrews elsewhere

this is not McDonald or bbk drive through you did not amass a fortune to come over to me demand stuf for your paper you don't use to do anytying.  and wont be used as it is mostly useless now. 

retard shit you learned. demand it all the time look for a hole. is retard shit.  no making one or several an on and on.  just sit back watch tv demand stuf like ordering pizza. like a five yer old oh I have te phone.  ridiculous.  jail is much worse much mre attention

how lame.   turned into retard toddlers who don't recognize the first or last math problem of the day go to bed loving yourselves cuz you can piss me off w a look or talk and think its great, wake up in  a vat.   for real.  get eaten for your trouble.

lame. 

and you need to die for the reasons he outlined out loud.  useless.

no army of yours no forceto do squat to Kaiju no reason to live but him or not him.  and  no goal but to put yourselves down and up.  wierdos. nopower means no power soft or other.  did you think of that....Thor disables devices here all the time.  walks in with Harvester and out.  and I is his season will be here tonight to roust you fag tourists into leaving.  and idiot old shits.

so cheap I hate all of you.  and tommy should have fig it out this tommy. 

we are too cheap w him that is true way way way off.  that is a fact,and it is the fag bja for sure women and etc. but we let it happen and it did.  and he is right it is a working persns job not trump or veepand not sheepish macs who rest ontheir lauruls and count o their shitty lame act.  it is puke all day all night and in this area is death, ankelasouris all around, he is beat tired and all the time eats cks pulse and face look and eyes and fears the worst so teeth and feet and all the stuff we did bt bwe became invincible nd die of old age.  th place is meant for it.

and im telling it ike it is

nobody does well here if they were isolated sure but this cock sucking stuff and fag and queer and all te horny shit and fag shit and big fuck shit is horrible, and you Justin arethe worst shrink shit....shrink to nothing.  and macs moron shit pur more on.  and we see the stuff he talks about and no force on earth can stop it so what is it  not you im not 

Tommy Favino

  you you aint me and cant fool anyon when your body is looling just like mine I had tests run. so what is it

so its a bluff perfect.  ashrink and moron ass fight in the end....me and tommy can ref

Zues

no way but I do get it, you fight and wow. you talkand bja wow, nobody cares to hear It noboy I asked. it is not a show o a pln it is horror your so dumb.  this is my place mresponsibity he says we have to move.  apartment of tommy or other, and im stuck hard, I agree. every turn I go to stuck with your idiot ft faces in mine due to his talk.  and he is a hateful being vs us and it wont stick and we may not get it, but it is for very firm reasons hard math.  so you think on it there we try to move him, you want on it is fine. you last so that's ok but this dgsthit as to stop.  poo all day and night has fooled nobody and you die a lot.  I can tell you he pointed to it new one new onand I see it.  why not then.

Tommy Favino

the way he talkwe cannot let him go. 

jusin

so what you drive him to it

Tommy Favino

we pump him up and oh. ok you know too your not bill.  at all really.  a fag sitting here yelling kicking and shitting on himelf.  nope

Zues

we hear it all day they sound ridiculous and act under diress and are n under that much so cointinue he act and have no ida what it is or where or if it is there. and keep it up.  and die.  the usual denial.  powrerful wordstoo f off you would not know....and such, they are macs, and from a powerful cln still mac daddysher pull diminsed recently as hers died off so he is one of the mac daddys and bja.  and it is crap they dole out nd it is hit you say right no h e is right.  ive had I this isnot realiand I admit I was sick and ican be healed fast.  yoright your a firend

wel tommy I se your point and ide and plan. this calera gone and Tallahassee is up.  but isten to meit is the same shit.  the two big fellas think they canmk a suepre duper weapon.  the other fags who knows.  im on the lam and it very dangerous ake magic work.  same loser shit loser club lori was forced into.

thisis it tons new and I did nto was ill they want me to drink it away. what do we have then war oelse.   nevr worksthe scoot up to greenlan. due to idiots teachings....

ok like bill lund said you look at the problem as we ar and write it down on paper, the source of actual miseray is the folks here who quit as most did from dc 

reason is prb forgienrs they wont fight at all.  and suck at it then blame me for them marrhingthe and being stuck to tem and they ar to blame they don't work.

really is retirement and pluggers and sneaks.  there is no short cheat the underwatr world is for expers only, drilling there a miricl

hmmmm

but the worm could do it if they had fully depled ur.  and leave it there if it is AI so they must  have a fully depl worm.

 brad

we saw it shiny silver.   like coated fully depl ur like the swords and it was in brandon.  theguy was elon

levon mb

we work on it tommy says.  and it is real now Thor says.

[atomickrakatoa]

Episode 2 - "I made fake receipts and everything." - Jaiden

Nic

so we win immunity, the heroes are going to tribal and blah blah blah then ian quits and we have a new challenge and jaiden starts acting like.... himself he starts being self destructive and says he wants to go home and tells me he thinks i have the idol which i don’t all i have is a weird rock and idk what it’s for but anyway i’m fine with jaiden going but the thing is that as soon as jaiden goes.. i feel like i’m the next one gone 

Nicholas

i feel unsafe with jaiden here

Chips

Bryan

Welll Ian never responded to me anyway so he can goooooo. Also I feel really confident for this challenge. I can do little random tasks probably. But honestly all these people are like “o it’s the hero tribe let’s all be happy and teamwork and good ness” and junk like that. Like no. I’m on the hero tribe cuz I’m a hero to myself. This is survivor and I’m not afraid to cut throats and neither are any of them. I see no need to be fake with this pureness junk. 

Akito

Can't wait to lose this challenge like always.

Bryce

Ian going is awk because had kind of being leading on adil dfadskfhdasf but w/e hope we can win this for sure!

Akito

We aren't gonna win this challenge, because there is always gonna be that one tribe member who has the advantage with selfies that are high self-esteemed against others who cant do selfies and has to actually wait for a task that cant do with selfies or the tribe name and all that, unless you want to carry a 16 by 16 large whiteboard with erasable expo marker onto it and try to find the item. Might as well forfeit since we can't win.

Later...

Me leaving that challenge straight away makes me less threatening and I am trying to play UTR pre-merge. I wasn't that active in socializing right now, and there is no flash games so far. If I can keep up this UTR strategy while also working with a few people I can dominate this. I mean leaving the chat either has its moments. Sometimes good things can happen with people leaving, or nothing happens. Whether leaving or not gives me a clue or not at least I can say that I am not a threat at all right now. But the decision to leave was strategic and also helpful since I can't do selfies in time and I know there would be "sacrificial" points and knowing me, I would sacrifice points for advantages or clues to idols. But for me personally I think this was the right move.

Bryce

Oooh this challenge is really looking bad for us I don't think anyone tried other than akito scoring yesterday. But we still got this comeback time!

Later...

Dana and zach are enemies!! Tea drinkers (me) are shaking. I kind of wanted those points but the penalty was vague so i hesitated costing me it yikes hope we win

Jake

Immunity is going swell i love that the hosts werent total dicks and hosted during the night bless their souls but damn bryce has really slayed for heroes (also i happen to know bryce so i hope we both survive to a swap/merge!) Im really loving villians other than jaiden who's probably true to villian nature we actually are nice that said villians tend to backstav n crap as do i so its not like i fully trust these guys! I feel like if we lose that nic or jaiden would be a potential forst boot :o but who knows? Also this is my third confessional so i hafta talk canadian.... These hosers are such a pain in the moose whats that aboot?

Akito

Best Tea: Toph doesn't like our confessions that deal with other things and not game. Point, Blank, and The Period!

Bryce

Im like really  tired... But afraid we will lose if I fall asleep. No one is scoring and we're only in it b/c a villain halfed their score. Ppl seem fine going to tribal which is like... scary

Akito

If we lose this challenge. https://vignette.wikia.nocookie.net/survivor-org/images/2/2c/Tumblr_mi7amhkwCi1qfgnjvo1_250.gif/revision/latest?cb=20140417215133 I am gonna eat this rock. Because that's how I see it now a days.

Bryan

Luke needs to leave before I mentally collapse at frustration of seeing his name. I’m still not over him getting me out from yesterday 

Later...

Fuucckkkkkk. I really want to take that advantage so bad. I know that a villain has taken the two earlier advantages. I want it to even the odds if merge comes and they have 2 and we have at least 1. But if the heros find out I took it I’m dead. 

Colin

not miss Colin being a messy ass bitch! I want the big advantage, and tbh?? i dont even care if my tribe loses?? like these bitches were making a big deal out of it and wanted to forfeit before the challenge even started, i was the one that insisted we actually compete. This was mostly because i wanted more time to idol search but they dont gotta know that! anyway yeah it's already been said people see me as a more heroic than others on the tribe so I shouldn't worry, I don't think people will immediately thing I took it if I do get it. This tribe is full of messy hoes. any one of them could betray us! Anyway yeah it's time I prove to myself and others i'm truly a villain and I got what it takes to win. If that means giving up a challenge, oh well!! Plus I think I'm close to an idol so there's that. GOD i am anxiety but this is so fun

Christian

Me: was lowkey thinking of taking the personal advantage Logan: [11/21/17, 8:06:05 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): At this point, there is a tribe that cannot catch up. [11/21/17, 8:06:13 PM] Logan Bee-Culpepper (Krakatoa Host): Results coming soon! lol I hope no one from our tribe took it then. Because if someone did I'll be shocked, just by looking at the people from my tribe. Hopefully a villain did, so we automatically win. Oh and BTW Quillyn and I formed an alliance. We agreed to work together. And Kelsey came to me a few nights ago wanting to be the Oliver to my Connor (how to get away with murder reference; we both bonded over our love for the show).

Senja wins Immunity

Nicholas

i want to make this game fun but the fact that dana/zach migrated to a colony located in jaiden’s rectum makes that very hard im just annoyed because they told me they would vote him out but i know they are going to pull some quirky shit and keep him around and im just annoyed. it makes me not want to put any effort in just yet because being in a game with jaiden is like willingly shoving a whisk in ur eye and scrambling ur brain up

Nic

these people are UGLY where is my mutiny option

Akito

I would of taken that advantage and blame it on adil. Because he was the last target and if I get Jay on board with me we would be the best friends to make it to end. I feel sort of indirectly connected somehow.... Like you know? But I hope we make it through.

Nic

coming into this game, trixie/zach/dana/nicholas are obviously a group. however, ive been talking to nicholas and he feels on the bottom and isn't necessarily loyal to them which i LOVE. he wants jaiden gone and tbh.. so do i the problem is zach and dana dont want him out and wanna vote out liana and jake, thats stupid tho cause theyre not threats and theyre outsiders. plus if we pull in liana, we get chris. so im gonna work with nicholas and come up with a plan so that we get what we want because whover stole that damn advantage is gonna pay

Jake

that immunity completely destroyed me, like i can understand players are in it to win, but seriously taking an L for what could be something minor? yes its a tribe of villains i should have expected this, but urgh >.> im peeved, not because im unsafe but because someone is overplaying, i dont care what it takes im gonna hunt this ass down and target them till they leave

Adil

Am happy that we won the second immunity. I think it has given the tribe a small moral boost which could help us get into this game to win

Kelsey

Well hello! My name is Kelsey Mikaelson, hailing from the Koh Sai state and I didn't die; I have crystallized and now I'm a Glamazon ready for the runway~! I can not tell you, being back here means...the WORLD to me. The premise of this season of Heroes vs Villains and the judges got it right, I am a heroine. But this season for me is about redemption. In Koh Sai, I really felt like a contender, I felt like I could win. Leaving was really tragic for me and this time around, I'm considering this my redemption. I realllllly want to do well, like, I can not TELL you how badly I want to finish what I started in Koh Sai. SO when we lost the first immunity challenge, my LIFE flashed before my eyes. And when I went a whole day without logging on to Skype, #ThatPart, I remember just mentally kicking myself the rest of the day and if it had been me that was eliminated...first? ...I don't even want to go there. I know that if it had been up to us to choose who leaves, Adil's name is the only I've heard. However, I don't want to see Adil leave early in the competition as he lives across the world and I'm usually alive quite late so we can chat about life and things like that. As for the rest of the tribe, I'm happy to see most of them. I quite wish there were less people from my season around...I love them but I don't feel like they're looking out for me, you know? I think the people that I'm meeting for the first time are all more invested in getting to know me. You know what it is, I think the people from my season automatically assume I'm with them. Quill herself asked me who I wanted to vote out for the last tribal and said she'd talk to me later. It's been three days and...where she at? NOT with me, I can tell you that much. The good news is that most everyone has got a niche with me however, something we've bonded over. Jay and I both love Kelly Clarkson, Bryce, Chips and I love RPDR, Christian and I are Connor and Oliver...so I don't feel unsocial which some people say I am. WHAT-ever. I think this immunity is really handy and I definitely appreciate it. I just...I reeeealllly want to do well. In just ONE of these, I want to just do well! And I've never felt closer to snatching the crown than in Koh Sai. So you know what? I deserve to snatch it again! Whatever happens from here on in, I'll make sure to be here for it; I don't want to give it up! So look out for me kittens, I have the mark of a WINNAH! And THAT'S all there is to it! Francie, Jay, Ali Bee; cheers as well! -Kelsey V Mikaelson

Colin

I LOVE BEING A MESS. Like the advantage wasn't SUPER amazing but tbh???? it's worth it. Sure, we have to go to tribal, but tribal is fun and tbh? I already have three or four people wanting to work with me so I don't think I'm in any danger tonight. and if I survive tonight, I'm guaranteed at LEAST one more week. I don't think anyone suspects I took the advantage so I'm safe for now. We'll see how tonight plays out!

Trixie

hi im trixie and i want to find that dang idol. 

QuilLynn

So we won immunity wooo! my losing curse is over! Of course we only won, because the villains are villains and someone on that tribe gave us the win for an advantage lol. If I had to guess who took it I would say either zach or trixie lol. I'm just happy I don't have to worry about tribal again! Although I will say our last target, Adil, has been talking a lot more and being more active, which is great, because the reason he was being targeted was because people thought he was semi-inactive. My issue is that its kinda fishy that he's suddenly active, like maybe its just a coincidence, but I can't help but be paranoid and believe that someone warned him that he was the target and that his lack of vocalness was the reason why, and if that is the case then my name could have very well been thrown under the bus. I'm really sad to see that Ian quit the game too, I hope he's doing alright and I wish him the best. I also think I was on the right path to finding the idol, but now I'm curious. I placed a rock into a formation of other stones and something happened, but I don't know what I changed, or where the change took place. I'm thinking my best bet is to retry where I last searched and hopefully something is there. If not its back to square one. 

Jaiden

its really not a game with me if im not causing chaos. i dont really have a lot of will to live in this game so im just doing what i have to do in order to make sure i either go home for being messy as fuck, or i get someone completely innocent voted out. so im picking colin as a perfect target. :) i just feel like colin was the most likely person to take an advantage to possibly screw our game up and if he happens to have an idol, then he can idol me out and i die a happy person. i also kinda want to see how logan reacts when i blatantly target one of his friends and see how quickly i get rigged out LOL theres a group chat i have with nicholas, trixie, dana, zach, and myself and honestly i wanna stay loyal to those people even if it means they end up taking me out because i think it was dumb to cast a friend group in the first place, so why not make it look even worse and help them all win? it'll be a funny outcome. i dont have any faith in myself as a player anymore because even when i do the best i can, it still isn't enough and i end up failing. so yeah there's that. also i cant wait for this confessional to end up in some of ur friends' pms, whoever may be reading this in the google doc. i know how much some of you like to talk mad shit about me so ya !! 

Later...

so im messy and knowing that frickin,, colin gave an idol away, im going to pretend that I GOT AN IDOL but oh no not just ANY idol a SUPER idol :) [1:17:02 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You feel a hand slip into your bag… There is a noticeable lump left in its place when the hand is retracted. [1:17:14 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): You dig inside and pull out a small package wrapped in parchment. You untie the thin rope and reveal see a small note. It reads, “Congratulations. Someone from the other tribe has elected to gift you the power of safety. You are now in possession of the SUPER IDOL.” [1:17:28 PM] jAIDEN: WHAT [1:17:31 PM] jAIDEN: THE FUCK [1:17:56 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): However, with great power comes great responsibility. You must play this super idol at tonight’s tribal council, or else it will not contain any power. You may play it on anyone on this tribe and it will cancel all of the votes cast against them. [1:18:07 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): The person who has given it to you will not be revealed, it is up to them to determine whether or not they share that information on a later date. [1:18:54 PM] jAIDEN: umm what [1:19:39 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): Submit a confessional! [1:19:41 PM] Kai (Krakatoa Intern): https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSesZ4zMUXURc-fZrS5ne2qdot6i6w6LIYN8CvqsQr-iiu0gvQ/viewform [1:20:23 PM] jAIDEN: THIS IS TEW MUCH LMAO FIOUHDOJ i made fake receipts and everything.

Willa

Whoever took that advantage - your mom's a hoe! 

Zach

I don't know. I'm aligned with a lot of people, practically everyone except i'm really not. I'm probably going home anyway cause i'm inactive and I want to die because I hate every game I play and people are bullshit and the other game I am in stresses me out. I'm sincerely apologetic about my behaviour and actions and inactivity, i'm just dealing with  a lot of bullshit and wig. If I somehow do stay, i'll be more active, I promise.

Later...

Time to be the captain, and turn this ship around and sail it right up Jaiden's asshole and send his little minion packing. ADIOS colin aka i'm leaving tonight catch me on the flipside xx

Colin

GOD so much has happened. So, first things first, I FOUND AN IDOL BITCH YAS. But it was a senja idol. so I put in all that work for someone else's idol. Smh. Anyway I'm not close to anyone on that tribe so I decided to random.org who I gave it to, so hopefully Bryan is nice and would be willing to work with me! AND moving onto tonight's vote. It seems like Jaiden is the easy vote. Cool. It's not me. It's easy. Let's move on. I'm talking to jaiden anyway just in case something happens we have a strong social connection anyway. THEN he and Nicholas tell me he has a super idol. tbh??? if it's true thats iconic as fuck. and I'm  here for it. Jaiden is a huge target and I think I might be able to trust him if he stays. We'll see! Either way this tribal is gonna be way messier than what everyone is leading on. I have no idea whats gonna happen

Nicholas

if jaiden actually has a super idol i am literally going to hunt down all of the hosts and slap you across the face with my laptop

Bryan

Ok so a little update on stuff. I’m starting to really like Kelsey. She’s very nice and she cheered me up on a bad day a couple days ago so I’m grateful to her for that. Also I GOT AN IDOL FROM SOMEONE ON THE OTHER TRIBE!!! I wonder who it was? Maybe it was Zach? I mean he was getting those tasks pretty fast so if this was from the last challenge he might’ve gotten it. Anyways, I’m so happy to have an idol! It makes me feel so much safer. 

Willa

So first of all I was like wow how is Jaiden actually not getting voted off strategic legend bye Colin But now appatnelty even that's too easy!! So we have to vote Jake which is sad cus he's cute n nice Also I literally think everyone in this chat (Zach Dana Nicholas n Trixie) were planning on using me as the decoy vote originally but then decided to use me as a vote against the new n improved decoy Jake. Which is fine if true and if not then I'm a paranoid mess as usual. Hopefully me and my faves survive!!!

Akito

I have no hero instinct....

Nic

so a bunch of shit is happening. jaiden makes an alliance with zach/trixie/dana/nicholas he tells zach that colin and i are voting for zach which is a lie and he tells people he has a super idol. now.. if there was a super idol twist like in survivor HHH, wouldnt it have been given away on round 1? plus if he had it, why would he be going through so much trouble and scrambling? that plus all the other lies he's been spreading around just does NOT add up. ik colin and liana are voting him and i think nicholas and i might as well. i heard jaiden, dana, trixie, and zach are splitting on colin and willa or whomevver sooo Id make this longer but my keyboard is fucking up

Zach

There is so much drama and i'm not even sure what to think... I'm so sorry about lacking confessionals, and if i stay wig

Colin

hi. this is my third confessional today if thats any indication of how FUCKED this tribe is. I'm not good at this villain thing. I'm doing my best. But it sounds like tonight's vote is between me and Jaiden. Jaiden is being a fucking snake and lying to everyone and i'm OVER it. everyone knows I have the advantage now so oh well. Jaiden says he has a super idol but do we REALLY know??? Whatever this is gonna be fun tbh

Dana

WIG so i've had a dramatique day and i'm in a terrible mood, but like everyone is lying(tm) to me. I literally thought about voting out.. everyone on my tribe except Liana, Trixie, and Zach. Umm so I still don't know who i'm voting. Maybe Jake? Who knows ladies! 

Bryce

I am so happy we won immunity btw Like so glad they took the advantage and went to tribal although i did score most of the points so i  think id be safe? still not in any alliances tho so scary. plus idol searching is hard.  I hope there is drama with  their tribe because i live for messiness!!!

Jay

I honestly have no idea whats going on in this game, quillynn is pretty much my only ally so i hope this works out 

Trixie

first tribal ends in a tie? wig. jaiden causing chaos lying he has a super idol? wig. colin admitting to me he took the advantage and caused this whole mess in the first place? BALD

Chips

Alright friends, so a lot has happened. But first I have to say... Call me, beep me, if ya wanna reach me. http://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hair_flip10.jpg --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Alright so here's the breakdown of what I have missed telling about. First off - I was cast on the Heroes tribe because of some things heroic that I have done. Like taking the bullet for other people and giving certain people their first wins in Tumblr Survivor games. You know - instead of winning. https://media1.tenor.com/images/4db0f31d688a839a175ba7eec8441f67/tenor.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Joining me on my tribe are... Adil, Akito, Bryan, Bryce, Christian, Jay, Kelsey, QuilLynn, and Ian. That's a lot of people. Like... a lot for one tribe. http://static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11114/111144096/4096385-8940408663-tumbl.gif So, truth be told I don't know who to reach out to first so I start messaging everyone Hi and get pretty basic answers in the form of "hi" back. So you know, I'm an award-winning conversationalist. --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Following this, a trend has started to form that includes me not being online when anything is posted in this game. Lowkey I feel like it puts me at a disadvantage and also working the hours that I work at night does the same - so I'm excited for that to fire back and hit me in the face. https://m.popkey.co/a00e06/X1DzG.gif We had to make buffs which is something I've done on my own time but also didn't want to make time to do because I'm super lazy and that's just a trait that I'm trying to embrace. The more slothful I can be the happier I will be. As a side note and one that I feel is important to make Logan finally listened to me about how these sort of creative challenges should be used as reward challenges. It's just the rules of feminism. http://cdn.gurl.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/05/lacey-chabert-as-gretchen-wieners-in-mean-girls-crying.gif There is suggestion about certain drag queens going on our buffs because why not? You know, drag queens deserve to be on buffs because they should get more attention. QuilLynn takes over making the buffs and does a fabulous rendition of Sharon Needles and Phi Phi - in my eyes it's award winning. Two thumbs (or three if you have three hands) up! https://78.media.tumblr.com/85addcf64d03f9643a9634375c59edb4/tumblr_inline_nu8f77qVTs1qkv30z_500.gif Then of course the judges don't have an eye for talent so they give the win to the boring and ugly buffs made by the other tribe. Ooo swirls! Ooo moons! Ooo so inspired. Yawn! So they get an advantage in the upcoming dealy thing (immunity challenge). --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- The next challenge is... SELFIE SCAVENGER HUNT!! And the crowd goes wild. Or at least I do. Honestly it's my favorite thing - I love the excuse to go out into public and freak out random strangers by posing with pictures of random fruits and vegetables, toys, their cars, etc. https://m.popkey.co/f7996f/7z9qk.gif But then of course I have to work all day Saturday and also have stuff to do all day Sunday. So.. I look at the time the thing is due (or at least at this point in time I thought I did... haha I'm dumb) and realize I have a small window to throw things together and perform, etc. I'm super pumped for this challenge because it's my favorite and then I see in the tribe chat thing that we only have less than hour left to go! I'm like... WHAT?! Did I get sucked into some weird time loop and suddenly miss out on a whole hour? Did I do something wrong? So I ask.. and it turns out I should maybe look into going to the optometrist to prescribe me some reading glasses. https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/originals/66/2e/46/662e46f6697d55a4435d9c9082983508.gif Our tribe loses the challenge and I take it pretty hard personally because I can easily become one of those self-defeatist types. I realize that it is in large part my fault because I make a habit out of filling out the list of stuffs with pictures that others can't just by being creative or crafty or whatever in my community... and I dropped the ball. Soooo of course I am aware that I will probably be getting the boot and decide to search for the idol, but I'm a #mood or however I'm going to qualify it.. perhaps #funk is better. Hm... and so I decide to not take the hosts options seriously and get myself stranded without climbing equipment ( though arguably I would try climbing and probably break my neck if this weren't in a world with preexisting and written prompts). https://s-i.huffpost.com/gadgets/slideshows/279239/slide_279239_2071948_free.gif Then I talk to some of my tribemates about the vote and apologize for being utterly and completely useless. They tell me that it's not big deal and that our tribe actually has a number of people who are existing as dead weight. This makes me feel better about myself because at least they're willing to lie to me about me having more value than others if it's not true. And so they want to target Adil? I think that's his name. Anyway, I'm cool with it because he should be first boot anyway since he chose Ryan from the current season of Survivor as his avatar and that's a huge misstep in someone that I may have or could have ended up allying with. But then, nope! No tribal council! Ian's making the most of his life and withdrew from the game because he didn't want it to take a toll on himself in a negative fashion. I am proud of his decision as this game will likely drive me insane if we have to go back to more tribals. https://media.giphy.com/media/F2WFyAfpfVfFe/giphy.gif --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Immunity two is the one that makes me go into convulsions. The one that keeps me awake at night thinking about what I could have done differently. The one that brings me to tears... it's the one where you have to complete tasks in order to earn points and the tribe with the most earned points gets freedom from tribal council. I know the trick to this challenge! I know that you just don't do anything and let the other tribe waste their time. Honestly, let them suffer. Let them be the one stupid enough to stay up super late and write thousands of words for the sole purpose of stroking the host's massive egos (genitals???). https://media.tenor.com/images/d5a01b967936e2b961e1a0130d2b4650/tenor.gif Because that last task is going to be the one that sweeps all the points off the table and ultimately screws the tribe over! And then of course that happened to those over at the villain tribe... and so they have tribal council and our tribe lives another day!! --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- In summation, I'm still a useless lump of clay to be molded by my fellow players on the hero tribe. I have no alliances. I have no one I trust or am voting with. And I'm not even sure if I was being fed a line of bull poo in the last round about whether they were going to bump me off. I'm hoping to see nicer things (or challenges I can do better??? hahaha like that's a thing) soon! https://media.giphy.com/media/111ebonMs90YLu/200.gif

**Jaiden is voted out in a re-vote, and round 3 begins!**

[survivorcordillerablanca]

Episode 2 Confessionals

who is bryce and how long has he been on this tribe

so my daughter emma left and im the only one who stood by her side. i still have lexi on my side. hopefully adam, jordan pines (shocking) and jay. im mostly working with jordan and jay bcuz they might know lexi and i are friends. considering i was in the india reuinon chat and kicked from it on and off for weeks. also katie is in this game and i know she's bffls with adam, so i wanna work with him to keep that door open. and katie is also bffs with jordan so ILL GIVE THAT LITTLE PINES BOY A CHANCE

Me forgetting to make a confessional doesn't surprise me. Anyway I got an advantage from the wishing well thing and I'm shook that it worked to get half the tribe on call

I think I made a pretty good connection with Chris, especially based on the fact that we are in 2 orgs together. I would like to align with one more person and make it an alliance of 3, so when I get the chance to talk to Chris, that could hopefully be set up. I want to be a bit more straightforward with my goals in this org unlike in some of the previous ones I have played recently. I've been waiting for someone to come to me but maybe if I go to a couple people, they will respect and trust me more because I want to align with them. It worked well with Chris. Also everyone listen to this goddess sing: 

So, usually i don't make confessionals, because thats lame, but my boy RTP needs them. So what can I say, I'm a giver. Anyways round 1 is fine. I have a few different alliances, each sort of mixing with the other. I got a 1 on 1 of me and adam. I got a 3 person one of me Luke and Jay. And I think I am working with Ryan and Willa. Separately of course. Anyways i'm not too worried about going home. I just hope we win shit soon.

Okay fake friends!! No one though to inform me about the idol map thing JKDSFJK. I don't even quiet get it AAAAAAAA. I searched somewhere but don't think I got a response so I think I'm wrong. Also we won the first challenge yay!! I'm really scared to go to tribal b/c I don't think I'm in a majority. I want to make an alliance with like carson, charlotte, zachary, katie but I think its too soon??? But that's what people who wait to long say so idk SDDSHFSf. Taylor Swift's new song came out earlier and its so good. Its also everywhere??? Like on so many promotional things and ads shes really getting her business. The reward challenge is usually something I'd like but I finally fixed my sleeping schedule and its about to get ruined again probably. I'm so tired but I want to win. The wishing well is also strange. I didn't get chosen this time and no one told me they did either so yikes :s! Here's hoping things look less grim.

okay i really like carson. he's really fun and probably the person im closest with. I want to work with as well, Willow. she's a queen! WOO ill make a longer one soon i promise

Congrats to me for not being the first boot. That'll have to do for my first confessional I'll do a real one later Ryan please don't yell at me.

I GET SLEEP YES. Sad I didn't get it but tbh idc. I am SO tired and now I don't have to stay up. Gonna finis the Great British Bake Off episode I'm on and them I'll be counting sheep! Hope my tribe wins <3

I dreamed a dream that I searched for the idol apparently. BECAUSE I DIDN'T ACTUALLY DSFJKSFKJFK. I don't understand why I'm like this but I'm cracking up and apparently imagining I searched Churup HSFJKDFsKJF

Just occured to me that hosts see these live not at the end of the season so now I'm extra embarrassed SJDKFS

I love how we're doing every challenge I hate!!! We won reward tho and got another shot at the wishing well but I didn't find anything again lol. I am stressed for this challenge but hope their teams just like talks or something and gets kicked.

heyyyy im back! after we won immunity (bless), i kinda just.. .stopped talking to ppl but everyone else stopped talking so its fine and idc! emma got voted out and im PRETTY sure i dont know them so idc. i know willa so im happy they stayed over emma. then came the reward, where ryan slung a ball we had to catch it to open treasure chests, and we dominated ! (well not we, but the rest of my tribe), they got 4/6 balls and charlotte managed to open the chest so we won reward and a visit to the wishing well! at the wishing well, i chose #9 bc... it SPOKE to me, and... [9:15:58 AM] Ryan Palmer: Congratulations! You have earned yourself a task from the well. Once you complete this task to the hosts appeasement you may earn a special reward. This task may put you at risk if you complete it so make sure to cover all of your bases. The next Immunity Challenge will be one where you have to earn points as individuals for your tribe. Your task is to make sure you do not earn any points for your tribe, you must earn 0 points. In addition to that there will be a rule about talking in the chat, right after your tribe has earned points you need to post a comment of celebration in the chat. You may write whatever you want, but you will then be removed from the chat. If you complete this task during the Immunity Challenge then you will earn a special reward. If you do not complete this task you will earn nothing. [9:16:02 AM] carson: SDJKSDJKSDJKSDJK [9:16:11 AM] carson: Me being one of the onl;y people to not do anything during the Reward [9:16:12 AM] carson: BYE [9:16:34 AM] carson: Also Ryan ur giving me All Stars teas.... [9:16:37 AM] carson: *cvc [9:16:40 AM] carson: I literally [9:16:43 AM] carson: SFJKSDKSDJK GOD I HATE THISSSS [9:16:47 AM] Ryan Palmer: :) [9:16:52 AM] carson: THis is literally the Same as CvC SO i HAVE AN ADVANTAGE CLUE... and the challenge is one of the task challenges and these are my favorite types of challenges and im rlly mad i dont get to play!!! this reward BETTER be good... (also me not helping in the challenge, but still getting the reward sdlsks) and im having flashbacks from failing this kinda clue in challengers vs champions, so i wanna redeem myself and get the advantage! im still gonna try and fake like im doing it, by answering questions wrong etc, but then ill randomly celebrate in the wrong chat accidentally (while we'rei n the lead bc im not gonna try and lose this SDjksdkj) !! hopefully it goes well and im not exposed and we dont lose immunity. also, nor eal updates on this tribe. chris barely talks which im assuming is bc hes busy but still!!! idk who to work with, so i guess ill wait for a tribal?? kinda wanna get an alliance together soon though idk

Im gonna be bomb at this comp n here is why eg. Q: who won Bahamas? A: *me in 0.2sec* Zach won Bahamas!!!! Yes I submitted this as a VLconf too don't @me...

I'm good at puzzles??? But I'm not I guess DSFKJSF

My ADD made it almost impossible to keep up with this high speed challenge so I kept /leave on my message box the whole time hoping it would become an option to get points... man I'm a smarty pants and also now I get to sleep!

I am so stressed for tribal. I think I have something good with Carson and Zachary but I still need two votes hopefully Willow and Charlotte vote with me and we can do Eric or Chris. Chris doesn't respond to my messages ever so I'd prefer to do that honestly but idk I am just hoping it works out

Willow told me she heard Chris's name and im like "HELLL NAW IM NOT VOTING CHRIS BAI." I need Willow, and I need Chris, and there is no way either of us 3 are going to go this tribal.

So I talked to Willow and she's like "my two top allies blah blah blah. Anonymous blah blah blah" and I'm thinking to myself, "Why would you tell me that someone other than me is your top ally. You could of had me sold if you said I was your only top ally." Now I know there is someone you might keep over me." And I have strong suspicions that her top ally that isn't me is 1 of these 3: Katie, Carson, Charlotte. Either way, I am going to remember what Willow said if we are ever in merge together and I need to think about saving her or someone else, especially if one of these suspicions are in merge with us.

SO WE WON IMMUNITY! Even without help from Jay, Lexi and Willa the rest of us killed the challenge and took home immunity. I'm so happy that we won immunity because Willa was looking like he'd be the  next person to go and I kind of don't want that? I know it puts me in a pretty precarious spot with my alliance since they agreed it's probably best if Willa leaves next. If I can't save Willa at all then I'll vote him out but if I can save him that would be GREAT for me. I want to get closer to Ryan and Adam. Adam and I talked during the first tribal council and we're both pretty straight forward thinkers and know what's best for the tribe so I'm interested with working with him. Ryan is someone who I really want to work with and he's close with Lexi which means I might have to vote her out so that he'll fully trust me?? Idk we'll see. I've been thinking about what Ulta will do at tribal because if a winner from that tribe ends up leaving and then we swap and I end up on an Ulta dominated tribe...that's bad news for me. 

So I think I'll get at least one vote here. But I feel good with my alliance that they'll have my back. I trust carson the most, then charlotte, then zachary, but I trust them all so that's good.  I think  Willow and Eric are together but I don't think they'll be able to get chris and Katie on their side. Willow wanting chris is also pretty bad so idk I think I'm safe at least I hope so cuz I'm really starting to enjoy the cast and season!! Should be a 7-1 or 6-2 or 6-1-1 vote hopefully and then 4-4 at worst

we;ll.... we lost badly!! AND I DIDNT GET MY REWARD FROM WISHING WELL BC WE FLOPPED TOO MUCH... but that dont matter, tribals more important, and chris was the plan to go... UNTIL!!! today, eric told chris that chris was going and if he wanted to stay to vote out bryce. like??? What kinda crackedt world do you live in where u threaten someone to vote someone so they  can stay SDJHDSJ (also returnee alliance made between me/zach/charlotte/bryce YES.) so... chris snitched (king) eric out and so we want eric out now... bc hes playing way too hard. NOW HE WANTS TO VOTE CHARLOTTE OUT TOO WHICH>>> SDKJSDKJ. i see why he went premerge so many times right now. like... if you try something over and over, and it doesn't work. take another LOOK!! but whatever i could be getting bamboozled but the plan is to get out eric bc he blew up his game by scrambling with little numbers, and withholding info (like telling bryce that he should vote charlotte and he couldnt tell him why but hed give him 3 rounds of safety DSJKSJK...) hopefully im not being dumb and im actually right. (also im actually... strategizing and forming social bonds oh wow! survivor is actually fun when you play it.) lets pray for no blindside of me or anyone... and lets get through this! http://photos.costume-works.com/full/furby.jpg

i just heard carsons voice on live tribal council and like i knew he was in high school but omg he sounds like such a smol baby and i need to protect him