#I find it so funny that both Herbert’s are so gay

[unfried-mouth-wheat]

Scenario: Herbert West’s assistant (Dan/Narrator) wakes up one night and asks “Would you still love me if I were a worm?”

Movie Herbert: What a stupid and completely unfounded question. I can’t believe you would interrupt my work for something so asinine. Leave, now.

Book Herbert: Yes, now go back to sleep.

[kaptainandy]

gay people be like

(original image under the cut)

(source)

[theconstitutionisgayculture]

Do you give recs? I'm looking for some woke-free medias to consume (books particularly, but it can be anything)

It's hard to give recs without knowing your taste, but I'll try. Necessarily, many of these will be older things, so sorry if that bothers you

Books:

The Lost Fleet series by Jack Campbell (sci-fi)

The Nightside series by Simon R Green (urban fantasy/detective noir)

The Deathstalker series by Simon R Green (there are gay side characters in a few of the books, but the books themselves aren't woke. Just good sci-fi/space opera)

Any Conan the Barbarian story written by Robert Howard or Robert Jordan (fantasy)

The Destroyermen series by Taylor Anderson (disclaimer I'm only up to book 4 out of 15 and the last book was published in 2020 so it may have gotten woke or started to suck later on, but right now it's pretty good and pretty pro-American. Alternate history action sci-fi)

The Dresden Files series by Jim Butcher (urban fantasy)

Any Dune book by Frank Herbert or Kevin J Anderson and Brian Herbert (sci-fi)

The Temeraire series by Naomi Novik (only read the first three out of nine so same disclaimer as Destroyermen. Alternate history fantasy. Napoleonic Wars with dragons)

The Sharpe series by Bernard Cornwell (also the excellent film adaptations of the books with Sean Bean if you can find them. Historical fiction. You follow Richard Sharpe through the ranks of the British army during the Napoleonic Wars)

The Lord of the Rings by JRR Tolkien (the grandfather of modern fantasy)

The collected works of HP Lovecraft (definitely not PC or woke. His cat makes an appearance in one of his stories. Horror)

The Hellbound Heart by Clive Barker (horror. Hellraiser was based on this novella. tentative rec because it's good, but there's a lot of mentioned sex and very liberal attitudes towards sex so I don't know if you'd consider that woke or not. The sex obsessed characters are the bad guys though)

Any of the pre-Disney "canon" Star Wars expanded universe books.

Any of the Star Trek books written by William Shatner (they're all a connected series though so read them in order)

If non-woke is your main criteria, I'd suggest giving the Witcher books by Andrzej Sapkowski a try. I personally hated the little bit of the first one I read, and I hate the Witcher series in general, but no one can argue that the Witcher is in any way woke, lol

Codex Alera series by Jim Butcher (fantasy)

Phantoms by Dean Koontz (also recommend the movie with a very young Ben Affleck, but if you rent it on Prime use headphones. Audio is all fucked up through a surround sound system. At least it was when I rented it a few years back. horror)

The Legend of Drizzt series (and the associated sub-series) by RA Salvatore (fantasy. I stopped reading at the Transitions series--books 20-22--because I personally didn't like them and the way they changed the characters and the setting, but YMMV. I'd highly recommend books 1-19 though. Great fantasy series in my favorite D&D setting, the Forgotten Realms)

The Giver by Lois Lowry (young adult book, but has a great message of individuality and anti-government)

Since you wanted books mostly I'll just breeze through movies, shows, comics and games with a few of my favorites:

Movies - Equilibrium, Lord of the Rings, pre-Disney Star Wars, Alien, Aliens, Predator, Predator 2, Hellraiser 1 + 2, Friday the 13th series, Halloween series, The Patriot, In the Mouth of Madness, Sonic the Hedgehog 1 + 2

Shows - Jericho, X-Files, Star Trek (OS, TNG and DS9 especially. Anything nu-Trek is easily skippable), Chernobyl, Avatar The Last Airbender, Lost (it's not confusing if you just pay attention!)

Anime - Fullmetal Alchemist (both series are good but Brotherhood follows the manga more closely), Death Note, Bungo Stray Dogs, Yowamushi Pedal, Ace of Diamond, Yuri on Ice (super gay but funny and heartwarming and not woke beyond the two male leads being stupidly in love with each other even if it's never mentioned explicitly), Street Fighter II V. Honestly most anime isn't woke at all, so just look around for things that seem interesting to you and you're probably good there

Comics - Batman: No Man's Land, Batman: Knightfall, Batman: Bruce Wayne Murderer/Fugitive, Batman: The Killing Joke, any Marvel Masterwork collection, any Dark Horse Alien or Predator or Alien vs Predator comic, Spawn. Special mention: Isom and the Rippaverse. The Rippaverse is a new shared comic universe created by Eric July, self-described anarcho-capitalist and contributor to The Blaze that's specifically designed from the ground up to not be woke and offer a customer first mentality. They promise that the various books they're planning on releasing will focus on story and characters, not politics or social justice crap. So far, only Isom #1 has come out, and I haven't gotten my copy yet, but most people who've read it seem to love it, and that one comic alone has already sold over 43,000 copies and made $3.7 million so early adopting is probably a safe bet.

Games - Metal Gear Solid series, Batman: Arkham series, Halo 1-3, Mass Effect Legendary Edition, Greedfall, Dishonored series, Edge of Eternity, Metro series, Mafia 1+2, Elden Ring. Pretty much any game before the mid-2010s is a safe bet for non-woke, so like anime, you should just look at older games you think you might like, or their remasters, and go from there.

So that's my list. It's by no means complete, and there's no real order to the recs, so just look them up and see what, if anything, appeals to you. If you, or anyone else, want more specific recommendations or an opinion on a certain title or series that I mentioned or even ones I didn't, feel free to ask. I'll help if I can. Mostly what I read and watch are sci-fi, fantasy, horror, and things like that. I don't really read typical bestsellers or westerns or comedies. So I might be much help with those genres.

[brooklynmuseum]

Closing out National Poetry Month, our Spring Interns paired some of their favorite poems with works from our collection. We hope you enjoy!

— Jeffrey Alexander Lopez, Curatorial Intern, American Art & Arts of the Americas

Image: Suzuki Harunobu (Japanese, 1724-1770). Page From Haru no Nishiki, 1771. Color woodblock print on paper. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Peter P. Pessutti, 83.190.1

from Citizen: “Some years there exists a wanting to escape...” [Excerpt] By Claudia Rankine 

/

I they he she we you turn only to discover the encounter

to be alien to this place.

Wait.

The patience is in the living. Time opens out to you.

The opening, between you and you, occupied, zoned for an encounter,

given the histories of you and you—

And always, who is this you?

The start of you, each day, a presence already—

Hey you—

/

— Halle Smith, Digital Collections Intern Catherine Green (American, born 1952). [Untitled] (West Indian Day Parade), 1991. Chromogenic photograph, sheet. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of the artist, 1991.58.2. © artist or artist's estate 

Ode to Enchanted Light by Pablo Neruda

Under the trees light has dropped from the top of the sky, light like a green latticework of branches, shining on every leaf, drifting down like clean white sand.

A cicada sends its sawing song high into the empty air.

The world is a glass overflowing with water.

Consuelo Kanaga’s black and white photograph captures a dazzling, yet fleeting moment from everyday life. Three textured glasses cast shadows whose patterns are almost kaleidoscopic in effect. We can imagine Kanaga passing by her kitchen table, as she is brought to a halt to take a closer look at, and ultimately to photograph, the simple beauty generated by the play of light and everyday objects. The close-up scale of this image emulates the singularizing framing techniques deployed by Surrealist photographers, who also took parts of everyday life and blew them up in the photographic frame, thereby encouraging their viewers to look at life around us from a different angle. It is a way of saying: Here, take a closer look. Viewing the world with wonder, along with the joy that this act brings, are encapsulated in Pablo Neruda’s poem Ode to Enchanted Light. The speaker observes the way light passes through trees and creates enchanting patterns. He not only observes, but feels the beauty in the simple details of life, from the way light falls from the sky, to the sheen of leaves, to the buzzing of cicadas. Approaching life through such a hopeful lens evokes a glass-half-full perspective. In fact, the speaker is so hopeful that he believes “The world is/a glass overflowing/with water.” I think Kanaga would have felt the same way. 

— Kirk Testa, Curatorial Intern, Photography Consuelo Kanaga (American, 1894-1978). [Untitled] (Glasses and Reflections). Gelatin silver photograph. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Wallace B. Putnam from the Estate of Consuelo Kanaga, 82.65.25

Easter Wings By George Herbert

Lord, who createdst man in wealth and store,

      Though foolishly he lost the same,

            Decaying more and more,

                  Till he became

                        Most poore:

                        With thee

                  O let me rise

            As larks, harmoniously,

      And sing this day thy victories:

Then shall the fall further the flight in me.

My tender age in sorrow did beginne

      And still with sicknesses and shame.

            Thou didst so punish sinne,

                  That I became

                        Most thinne.

                        With thee

                  Let me combine,

            And feel thy victorie:

         For, if I imp my wing on thine,

Affliction shall advance the flight in me.

Easter Wings by George Herbet and Martin Bach’s flower vase from the Brooklyn Museum’s Decorative Arts collection reveal the interrelationship between form and function. In Easter Wings, Herbert strategically varies the line length to create an image that enhances the meaning of the poem; when you turn the poem on its side, it resembles the wings of a bird, of which are symbolic of the atonement of Jesus Christ. In doing so, the author is not only telling us his message, but he is showing it visually as well. Similarly, the vase takes the visual form of its function. Its floral design amplifies the meaning of the object, as the vase is meant to hold flowers. In both instances, we see how aesthetic properties of a work echo the meaning and function of the work itself.

— Amy Zavecz Martin Bach (American, 1862-1921). Vase, ca. 1905. Opalescent glass. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mrs. Alfred Zoebisch, 59.143.16. Creative Commons-BY 

I am the Earth (Watashi wa chikyu) [Excerpt] by Kiyoko Nagase, Translated by Takako Lento

I am warm, moist soil  I am a single supple stalk  I draw my life  all the way up into corollas of wild berries on the roadside 

I am amazed at  a breast of water welling  to flow into the inlet of a muddy rice paddy  I am amazed at  myself being  hot steam blowing fire and sulfur up  from the bottom of the great ocean, deep indigo.  I am amazed at  the crimson blood flow  covering the earth’s surface in human shape;  I am amazed that it swells as the tides ebb and flow, and gushes out monthly under distant invisible gravity … I am the earth.  I live there, and I am the very same earth. 

In the four billionth year  I have come to know  the eternal cold moon, my other self, my hetero being,  then, for the first time, I am amazed that I am warm mud.

The vivid imagery conjured up by Kiyoko Nagase’s poem is beautifully visualized by Emmi Whitehorse’s painting. The emphasis on deep Earth tones and abstract corporeality in both the poem and the painting really creates an intense metaphysical link between the environment and the self.

— Amanda Raquel Dorval, Archives Intern Emmi Whitehorse (Navajo, born 1957). Fire Weed, 1998. Chalk, graphite, pastel and oil on paper mounted on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Hinrich Peiper and Dorothee Peiper-Riegraf in honor of Emmi Whitehorse, 2006.49. © artist or artist's estate

Seventh Circle of Earth by Ocean Vuong

On April 27, 2011, a gay couple, Michael Humphrey and Clayton Capshaw, was murdered by immolation in their home in Dallas, Texas.

Dallas Voice

                                          1

2

                                              3

                                       4

                                               5

     6

                                                                                            7

________________________________________________________

As if my finger, / tracing your collarbone / behind closed doors, / was enough / to erase myself. To forget / we built this house knowing / it won’t last. How / does anyone stop / regret / without cutting / off his hands? / Another torch

streams through / the kitchen window, / another errant dove. / It’s funny. I always knew / I’d be warmest beside / my man. / But don’t laugh. Understand me / when I say I burn best / when crowned / with your scent: that earth-sweat / & Old Spice I seek out each night / the days

refuse me. / Our faces blackening / in the photographs along the wall. / Don’t laugh. Just tell me the story / again, / of the sparrows who flew from falling Rome, / their blazed wings. / How ruin nested inside each thimbled throat / & made it sing

until the notes threaded to this / smoke rising / from your nostrils. Speak— / until your voice is nothing / but the crackle / of charred

bones. But don’t laugh / when these walls collapse / & only sparks / not sparrows / fly out. / When they come / to sift through these cinders—& pluck my tongue, / this fisted rose, / charcoaled & choked / from your gone

mouth. / Each black petal / blasted / with what’s left / of our laughter. / Laughter ashed / to air / to honey to baby / darling, / look. Look how happy we are / to be no one / & still

American.

Ocean Vuong’s “Seventh Circle of Earth” has persisted as one of the great, affective moments of poetry in my life since I first heard Pádraig Ó Toama’s gorgeous reading and discussion of it on his podcast, Poetry Unbound. I decided to pair Vuong’s poem with Mary Coble’s Untitled 2 (from Note To Self) because both works are urgently immersive into the violence and experience of LGBTQ people in the U.S., and for how each work uses text and physicality to address presence, pain, and erasure. Vuong’s poem is actually footnoted to a quote from a news article about a gay couple murdered in Texas. The page is thus blank, absent of text. The reader has to sink below the main stage, the accepted space of word and story, to find the voices of this couple and the depth of their story’s tenderness, eroticism, and utter devastation. Coble’s piece foils the structure and effect of Seventh Circle of Earth by taking what was subverted by Vuong—text and the narrative of violence—wholly to the surface. Her photograph captures her own legs tattooed without ink with the names of LGBTQ individuals victimized by hate crimes. I cannot help but think of Franz Kafka’s short story “In the Penal Colony,” in which prisoners’ “sentences'' are inscribed by the needle of a “punishment apparatus” directly onto their bodies. I was struck by how the curator’s note for this photograph describes Coble’s artistic endeavor here as “harrowing.” The needle in Kafka’s short story is indeed called “The Harrow”. The noun harrow is an agricultural tool that combs plowed soil to break up clumps of earth and uproot weeds and clear imperfections. The verb to harrow means to plague, and in the story’s original German the verb for “harrow”, eggen,  is also translated as “to torment”. Kafka and Coble conflate these definitions of “the harrow” in their respective works: they use a needled device, like the true noun definition, as an instrument of torment because of someone else’s idea of punishment and justice. Here, violence is brought to the surface, intimate in as much as we are brought right up to the artist’s skin and into the presence of her and her community’s pain. Together, one can see how each creator physicalizes their respective artistic space to tell the stories of LGBTQ people, of what is tender and harrowing, below the surface and written into the skin. 

— Talia Abrahams, Provenance Intern, IHCPP Mary Coble (American, born 1978). Untitled 2 (from Note to Self), 2005. Inkjet print. Brooklyn Museum, Gift of the artist, 2008.10. © artist or artist's estate 

To my daughter Kakuya   by Assata Shakur  

I have shabby dreams for you   of some vague freedom   I have never known.   Baby   I don't want you hungry or thirsty   or out in the cold.   and I don't want the frost   to kill your fruit   before it ripens.   I can see a sunny place  Life exploding green.   I can see your bright, bronze skin at ease with all the flowers   and the centipedes.   I can hear laughter,   not grown from ridicule   And words not prompted   by ego or greed or jealousy.   I see a world where hatred   has been replaced by love.   and ME replaced by WE   And I can see a world replaced                                       where you,   building and exploring,   strong and fulfilled,   will understand.   And go beyond my little shabby dreams. 

This poem is featured in Assata Shakur’s memoir, Assata: An Autobiography. It details her hope for a better world that  her daughter can grow up in. This poem is positioned in the book when Shakur is facing increasing prosecution as a result of her  activism and affiliations with the Black Panther Party and Black Liberation army. Being written more than 30 years after this picture  was taken, the poem summons me to think about the trauma that many Black women face and how much of that trauma gets passed  down to their children. The black and white photo of a mother and daughter provides a nice visual to the poem. “The image of a Black  mother and child sitting on their luggage reflects the little-discussed history of segregated transportation in the northern United States. Through the 1940s, Penn Station officials assigned Black travelers seats in Jim Crow cars on southbound trains” (Brooklyn Museum). The photograph of train passengers waiting outside of Manhattan’s Pennsylvania Station especially echoes the verse “I don’t want you  hungry or thirsty or out in the cold.” The overall optimistic tone of Shakur’s poem alters our relationship to the image as we imagine  the mother pictured above hoping for the exact same things

— Zaria W, Teen Programs intern Ruth Orkin (American, 1921-1985). Mother and Daughter at Penn Station, NYC, 1948. Gelatin silver photograph, sheet: 13 15/16 × 11 in. (35.4 × 27.9 cm). Brooklyn Museum, Gift of Mary Engel, 2011.22.3. © artist or artist's estate

Crunch.  By Kailyn Gibson 

I retch as a mass of sinew lies between my lips.  The sensation is unbearable.  Fortunately, the jar of flies has gone missing again. 

Slowly, surely, and yet never sure at all,  the quiet of buzzing rings through the in-between. 

It is a symphony wrought from blood and bone. 

Saliva drips from bleeding, hungry gums,  And the crunch of glass echoes the grinding of molars.

If I proffered a sanguine smile, would masticated shards look like teeth?  Would they gleam just as prettily?  

The flies ring,  and the rot calls. 

— Kailyn Gibson Edgar Degas (French, 1834-1917). Portrait of a Man (Portrait d'homme), ca. 1866. Oil on canvas. Brooklyn Museum, Museum Collection Fund, 21.112 

Excerpt from Autobiography of Red A novel in verse by Anne Carson

7. If Helen’s reasons arose out of some remark Stesichoros made either it was a strong remark about Helen’s sexual misconduct (not to say its unsavory aftermath the Fall of Troy) or it was not.

8. If it was a strong remark about Helen’s sexual misconduct (not to say its unsavory aftermath the Fall of Troy) either this remark was a lie or it was not.

9. If it was not a lie either we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way we are likely to arrive back at the beginning of the question of the blinding of Stesichoros or we are not.

10. If we are now in reverse and by continuing to reason in this way are likely to arrive back at the beginning of the question of the blinding of Stesichoros either we will go along without incident or we will meet Stesichoros on our way back.

11. If we meet Stesichoros on our way back either we will keep quiet or we will look him in the eye and ask him what he thinks of Helen.

12. If we look Stesichoros in the eye and ask him what he thinks of Helen either he will tell the truth or he will lie.

13. If Stesichoros lies either we will know at once that he is lying or we will be fooled because now that we are in reverse the whole landscape looks inside out.

This excerpt comes from Appendix C of Anne Carson’s Autobiography of Red, a novel in verse. A translator and classicist herself, Carson mixes fact with fiction in her unconventional retelling of the myth of Geryon and Hercules, beginning with a roundabout introduction to the poet Stesichoros. Autobiography presents a captivating example of recent Queer projects that take up Classical material as their basis. A fascination with the Classical past has pervaded our modern conception of sexual identity politics, down to the very etymology of the word “lesbian.” In this fascination, I see the same desire to capture Classical imagery as cultural heritage which has also pervaded American museums, albeit with significantly different aims. The fresco pictured above comes to mind, which passed through many collectors and was even purchased by the museum before anyone pegged it as a modern piece—not an original Roman fresco. John D. Cooney, a 20th century curator of our Egyptian, Classical, and Ancient Near Eastern Art collection, wrote that “the unclad and somewhat winsome charms of the lady [probably] diverted objective glances.” Both in the case of the fresco and Carson’s novel, the “unclad and somewhat winsome charms” of the Classical past shape and reshape our understanding of history.

— Kira Houston, Curatorial Intern, Egyptian, Classical, and Ancient Near Eastern Art Modern, in the style of the Roman Period. Part of a Fresco, early 19th century C.E. Clay, paint. Brooklyn Museum, Ella C. Woodward Memorial Fund, 11.30.

Late Fragment by Raymond Carver From A New Path to the Waterfall, Atlantic Monthly Press, 1989.

And did you get what you wanted from this life, even so? I did. And what did you want? To call myself beloved, to feel myself beloved on the earth.

— Shori Diedrick Brackens (American, born 1989). when no softness came, 2019. Cotton and acrylic yarn. Brooklyn Museum, Purchased with funds given by The LIFEWTR Fund at Frieze New York 2019, 2019.12. © artist or artist's estate

Jaguar By Francisco X. Alarcón

some say                                    dicen que ahora                  I'm now almost                           estoy casi extinto       extinct in this park                      por este parque    but the people                            pero la gente who say this                               que dice esto don't know                                 no sabe that by smelling                          que al oler   the orchids                                 las orquídeas in the trees                                 en los árboles they're sensing                          están percibiendo  the fragrance                             la fragancia of my chops                              de mis fauces  that by hearing                          que al oír the rumblingc                            el retumbo of the waterfalls                        de los saltos  

they're listening                         están escuchando          to my ancestors'                       el gran rugido   great roar                                  de mis ancestros

that by observing                      que al observar     the constellations                      las constelanciones     of the night sky                         del firmamento 

they're gazing                           están mirando at the star spots                       las motas de estrellas    on my fur                                  marcadas en mi piel that I am and                            que yo soy always will be                           y siempre seré the wild                                     el indomable

untamed                                  espíritu silvestre living spirit                               vivo de esta of this jungle                            jungla

While the author of the poem speaks about animals, their words can also speak on behalf of the erasure of indigenous peoples in South America. Much like the jaguar, indigenous traditions and culture are very important to life in South America. Despite their marginalization, Indigenous peoples throughout the Andes used coca leaves to help with the altitude. The use and cultivation of coca are criminalized throughout most of South America despite it being essential to indigenous cultures. This vessel was used to contain lime which would activate the coca leaves.  Much like the jaguar, indigenous traditions are also faced with endangerment despite being woven into the fabric that is Latin America. Through the opposite man and woman figures, the vessel shows the duality that is important to the Quimbaya people which is still relevant to Colombians today.

Aunque el autor del poema habla sobre los animales, sus palabras también comunican el sentimiento común de la supresión de los indígenas en Suramérica. Con la mención del jaguar, se puede entender en el poema que la cultura y las tradiciones de las personas que son indígenas son sumamente importantes para la vida en Sudamérica. A pesar de su marginación, los indígenas en Los Andes utilizan la hoja de coca para ayudar en la altura de las montañas. El uso y el cultivo de la hoja de coca fue criminalizado (penalizado) a través de Sudamérica, aunque su uso para los indígenas era vital y esencial para su cultura. Este recipiente que se utiliza contiene limón lo que activa la hoja de la coca. Similarmente al jaguar, las tradiciones de los indígenas siempre estaban en peligro aunque estuvieran entrelazadas en las telas de lo que sería Latinoamérica. A través del hombre opuesto y las figuras de mujeres, el recipiente muestra la dualidad de lo que es importante para las personas que son Quimbaya, algo que todavía hoy es relevante para los Colombianos.

— Jeffrey Alexander Lopez, Curatorial Intern, American Art & Arts of the Americas Quimbaya. Poporo (Lime Container), 1-600 C.E. Tumbaga. Brooklyn Museum, Alfred W. Jenkins Fund, 35.507. Creative Commons-BY 

[deadpoetsam]

Thoughts/theories on the boys:

Short in stature but big in personality, Scotty’s a fast-talking teenage entrepreneur from the Florida panhandle who dreams of making the Forbes 400 list one day. And by his side always, both in life and on the island, is his best friend Bo.

I think Scotty's a parallel to Toni, but I don't see any mention of anger issues in his description... maybe they have another "flaw" planned for his character. The big dreams make me feel like he'll get along with Kirin easier than Toni with Rachel. Also, I'm looking forward to seeing his friendship with Bo. Will they make him openly gay like Toni?

Bo is a soft-spoken, contemplative teenager, also from the Florida panhandle. He has a naively optimistic outlook on life, despite a difficult upbringing, and he’d gladly lie down in the street for his best friend Scotty. His loyalty knows almost no bounds.

I think that Bo is a parallel to Martha, and I'm really excited to see a male character with a softer personality!!! Also, interesting that they say that his loyalty knows no bounds, while that was mentioned for Toni in the promotion for the girls.

The opposite of his personable stepbrother Seth, Henry is an emo reclusive type who prefers to retreat into the safety of his noise-canceling headphones and dwell on the darkness in the world.

Henry's a parallel to Leah? an interesting choice, curious to see how the relationship between the stepbrothers works out. It would be interesting if they make him the one who figures things out (if any of the boys even figure stuff out?). He also sounds a bit like Nora...

Seth Novak, who is naturally funny, Ivy-League smart, and full of charisma. Though he doesn’t necessarily aspire to a leadership role, Seth’s steadiness and sense of humor win him the respect and loyalty of the others, except for his step-brother Henry who clearly has issues with him.

Seth seems a parallel to Shelby, the rich and successful white boy (with more issues than meets the eye I'm assuming). It'll be interesting to see the stepbrothers and their relationship (especially seeing as they are parallels to Leah and Shelby, but feel more like a parallel to Shelby and Toni in a platonic way). Although he does have some traits similar to Dot....

Josh Herbert, a talkative, hypochondriacal teenager from a wealthy family in San Diego. Unlike the rest of his athletic, tennis-playing family, Josh is an awkward, nervous type who takes a number of homeopathic supplements to handle his chronic stress.

I think that Josh is a parallel to Nora, and I just know I'll love this character. Very interested in his backstory! Especially since it seems like he'll be the odd one out in his family (like Rachel) and how that will affect his place in the group. He's talkative, which isn't like Nora, but it'll be fun to see the different take on an awkward and nervous character.

Rafael Garcia, a quiet, sensitive teenager who lives in Tijuana but attends high school in San Diego. Straddling two worlds has made it difficult to get a clear and certain sense of himself, so he gravitates toward people with stronger, more charismatic personalities than his own.

Rafael seems a parallel to Dot, especially looking at the "caught between two worlds" bit and also taking in account that Dot lost her sense of self while taking care of her dad. I don't think they'll have him take care of a parent, but that they'll instead find another backstory (but if they have him take care of a parent, it would be really cool to see the differences!). The lack of a clear and certain sense of himself and being sensitive also sounds a bit like Shelby...

Ivan Taylor, an activist and aspiring playwright with an impeccable fashion sense and a razor-sharp wit. But his words can be cutting, sometimes too deeply, which has cost him friends along the way.

I think that Ivan is a clear parallel to Fatin, and I'm excited to see what they'll give him as a backstory! Also the "cost him friends" makes me feel like there'll be a similar fall out as Leah with Fatin, but I'm also curious about what his backstory will entail.

Kirin O’Conner, a short-tempered lacrosse player who doesn’t have much patience for weakness. Among the castaways, he’s ready and willing to take the lead first, though his hot-headed approach might not appeal to everyone.

Kirin definitely seems like a parallel to Rachel, so I'm curious to see how that turns out. I hope they give him a similar backstory as her, it would be interesting to see a male character with ED. The hotheaded approach also sounds a bit like Toni...

[askamydaily]

This year -- put a Book on EVERY Bed

This year: put a Book on EVERY Bed

By “Ask Amy” advice columnist Amy Dickinson

10 December, 2020

Dear Readers: Every year at Christmastime, I delight in promoting a Book on Every Bed. I do so in memory of my mother, Jane, who raised her children to understand that if you have a book, you are never alone.

The idea originally came from historian David McCollough, who recounted the Christmas mornings of his youth, when the very first thing he woke up to was a wrapped book at the base of his bed, left there by Santa.

The most important part is what happens next: Family members reading together.

That’s it! That’s the whole idea!

Over the last ten years, working with my local literacy partner Children’s Reading Connection (childrensreadingconnection.org), this campaign has grown to include schools, libraries and bookstores, who have donated scores of books to families that might not have access to them. The goal – and our dream – is that families will experience the intimate and personal connection of diving into and sharing stories, the way my mother and I did throughout her life.

Over the years, important literacy advocates, such as the Librarian of Congress Carla Hayden and LeVar Burton, and bestselling children’s authors Brad Meltzer and Peter Reynolds, have endorsed and helped to spread the good word.

This year is different. So many of us are alone, hurting, and separated from family and familiar holiday routines.

All of us – not just children – need a good book on our beds.

I have broadened the scope to include specific recommendations for books spanning all ages. I’ve reached out to some of my favorite writers, literacy advocates, and independent booksellers across the country for their special picks.

Whether you purchase a book or share an old favorite, I hope you will be inspired to put A Book on Every Bed this year. It is not necessary to make a Christmas deadline – this idea is one to sustain people throughout what might shape up to be a very long winter.

Following are recommendations for all age groups.

Baby and Toddlers: From Brigid Hubberman, Children’s Reading Connection, Ithaca, NY (childrensreadingconnection.org):

“Words are the language of love for babies.  The best books for infants should be about the world they know. Parents should choose books to surround babies with an abundance of loving and delightful words.”

Baby Cakes, by Karma Wilson and Sam Williams

Haiku Baby, by Betsy E. Snyder

Shine Baby Shine, by Leslie Staub and Lori Nichols

Ages 3-5: From Lisa Swaze, Buffalo Street Books, Ithaca, NY (Buffalostreetbooks.com)

“If You Come to Earth,” by Sophie Blackall is one of my favorite picture books of 2020. This book is beautiful both visually and lyrically, and it will feel like a warm hug to any child or family who receives it.

“You Matter,” by Christian Robinson is a bright and elegant book that takes children on a journey around the world to make it clear that everyone matters, and perhaps more importantly, reassure them that they matter, no matter what they look like or where they are from.

Early Readers: From Sandra Dear, owner of The Little Boho Bookshop, in Bayonne, NJ (thelittlebohobookshop.com)

“The Suitcase,” by Chris Naylor-Ballesteros: This beautiful story about immigration, is full of heart and humanity as it teaches our littlest ones about hope, tolerance and kindness.

“Home in the Woods,” by Eliza Wheeler: This stunningly beautiful picture book has fast become a customer favorite. A story about starting over, of overcoming! A story of family, love and joy of being and growing together.

Middle Grade Readers: From Becky Anderson, co-owner of Anderson’s Bookshop, in Naperville, Illinois (andersonsbookshops.com):

“Ways to Make Sunshine,” by Renee Watson: Watson writes her own version of Ramona Quimby, one starring a Black girl and her family, in this start to a charming new middle grade series about spirit, kindness, and sunshine.  Ryan, a fourth grader, finds the positive in difficult situations and when trouble strikes. She is that character to love and bring in the sunshine!  Grades 3-6

Skunk and Badger by Amy Timberlake, illustrated by Jon Klassen: Winnie-the-Pooh and Frog and Toad meet in a fresh take on a classic odd-couple friendship.  Klassen’s illustrations add much to a story of an unlikely friendship that proves that opposites can see the good in one another. The first in a series.  Grades 3-7

“The Silver Arrow,” by Lev Grossman: Kate’s humdrum life is transformed when her eccentric Uncle Herbert brings her a colossal locomotive train, the Silver Arrow, as her eleventh birthday gift, leading her and her younger brother on a mysterious journey.  The train will remind readers of the Hogwart’s Express. A story that is environmentally aware and calls readers to action. Perfect for fans of Roald Dahl and The Chronicles of Narnia.  Grades 3-7

YA Readers: Danielle Kreger, Blue Bunny Books, Dedham, MA (bluebunnybooks.com):  "One of Us is Lying" by Karen M McManus: An edge of your seat mystery that takes place in Bayview High school during detention. Simon, a so-called "outcast," never makes it out of detention alive. What follows is a tale of twists and turns that has the reader questioning the reliability of the characters, and the secrets they keep.

"Burn" by Patrick Ness: A fast-paced young adult fantasy that begins with fifteen-year-old Sarah, who meets Kazimir – a dragon who has been hired to help on her family's farm. Still reeling from the death of her mother, Sarah finds herself feeling an intense and unusual connection with Kazimir. As the story unfolds secrets, dangers and Kazimir's true purpose are revealed.

"The New Kid" by Jerry Craft: A spot-on graphic novel about navigating a new school, new friends and identity. Jordan Banks is in seventh grade when he is sent to a rigorous private school and grapples with staying true to himself- his love for creating cartoons, how to maintain his old friends and how he fits in in a less than diverse new school. A totally lovable and relatable character!

Adult Non-fiction: From Alex George, the author, most recently, of The Paris Hours, founder and director of the Unbound Book Festival, and the owner of Skylark Bookshop, in Columbia, MO (skylarkbookshop.com)

“Wintering,” by Katherine May: This is a deeply personal, quietly beautiful book, written with grace and immense thoughtfulness. We all go through difficult times; by mulling over her responses to her own misfortunes, the author offers insight as to how we might think differently about low points in our lives. Instructive, inspiring, and ultimately profoundly hopeful.

“The Book of Delights,” by Ross Gay: This utterly charming book of micro-essays by Ross Gay, a beloved and renowned poet, is a perfect gift for – well, just about anyone. Gay set himself the challenge of finding one thing that delighted him each day for a year, and then writing about it. The result is a quirky, brilliant book that you can dip in and out of, always finding something to make you smile, and think. A guaranteed lifter of spirits.

“Intimations: Six Essays,” by Zadie Smith: I’ve always loved Zadie Smith’s nonfiction work, and this small but powerful book shows her talents at their finest. Written during the pandemic, these six pieces are sharp, and funny, and thought-provoking. Smith’s deeply personal reflections on this strangest of years is essential reading. If ever there was a book for these strange times, it’s this one.

Adult Fiction: Mark LaFramboise, Senior Book Buyer at Politics and Prose in Washington, DC (politics-prose.com)

“The Butterfly Lampshade,” by Aimee Bender: This is a beautiful story of mental illness, the bonds of sisterhood, and the liveliness of a child's imagination.  Francie is 8 years old when the book begins, the daughter of a single mom.  This is the story of her odyssey after her mother is committed to a mental hospital, and she is sent to be raised by an aunt and uncle.

“Luster,” by Raven Leilani: Edie, the young protagonist in Luster, Raven Leilani's debut novel, is daring, sexy, hilarious, super smart, and drop dead beautiful.  Her affair with a married man takes a turn for the strange when she meets and befriends the man's wife and daughter.  Edie is whip smart because Raven Leilani is whip smart and her voice propels this beguiling novel.

“What Are You Going Through,” by Sigrid Nunez: Sigrid Nunez writes so beautifully that plot feels irrelevant.  The writer's confidence and authority are apparent from the first page.  Ultimately, it's the story of a woman who is asked by an old college acquaintance to be with her when she takes her life, after a cancer diagnosis.  But, like her previous book The Friend (about a woman who inherits a large Great Dane), it doesn't matter what story she tells because her words bristle with life.

Elders: Gayle Shanks, Changing Hands Bookstore, in Tempe and Phoenix, AZ

(changinghands.com)

“Apeirogon,” by Colum McCann: Two fathers, one Palestinian and one Israeli have both lost their young daughters to violence but have decided that reconciliation, not revenge, is what they needed to seek. In the process, they became best friends. McCann describes the insanity and senseless violence bred in the Middle East, the Occupation under which the Palestinians are forced to live, but also the beauty of the country, the migration of birds, the many ways humans overcome adversity and find solace in the natural world and each other. In a series of 1001 fragments, McCann walks us through his imaginary polygon, the Apeirogon of the title, containing an infinite number of sides, an infinite number of gorgeous sentences, and ultimately an infinite number of ways to view the human condition.  

“All the Way to the Tigers,” by Mary Morris: Travel writer Mary Morris’ book, written in small chapters, was in some ways similar to reading Colum McCann's, Aperagon, also written in small bits (in his case 1001, in Mary's -- 112 chapters). Morris travels to India in search of the elusive Bengal tiger, but in so many ways she is searching for herself and her place in the world as she recovers from a serious ankle injury that leaves her debilitated but determined.  

In her short vignettes, she quotes Rilke, Wendell Berry, other writers she admires and reminds us how important it is to listen intently to others as in active listening we are rewarded with deeper understanding.

“The Chair Rocks,” by Ashton Applewhite: From childhood on, we’re barraged by messages that it’s sad to be old. That wrinkles are embarrassing, and old people useless. Author and activist Ashton Applewhite believed them too—until she realized where this prejudice comes from and the damage it does. Lively, funny, and deeply researched, This Chair Rocks traces Applewhite’s journey from apprehensive boomer to pro-aging radical, and in the process debunks myth after myth about late life. The book explains the roots of ageism—in history and in our own age denial. Whether you’re older or hoping to get there, this book will shake you by the shoulders, cheer you up, make you mad, and change the way you see the rest of your life. Age pride!  

[cult-of-kai]

Fuck Yeah, I Love Story Time!

Thoughts on episode 10, ‘Charles (Manson) in Charge’:

This episode’s title is funny because Scott Baio is a big Trump supporter.

Winter’s friends are little bitches, but it’s kind of interesting how Riley is both right and wrong. Kai most definitely has some major issues with women, but we have absolutely never seen him seek out female attention by traditional means. I’m not convinced that he’s not mostly gay. He said he likes pussy and he had sex with Meadow, but he seemed more into it with “beautiful” Detective Samuels. The “sodomite” was who he stopped to help in Judgment House and then referred to as a friend. It’s hard to say though, because Kai clearly uses sex for power rather than intimacy- hence his desire to fuck other world leaders’ wives. Anyway. Hi again, Bebe! If SCUM’s misandry wasn’t enough for you, now we learn that Bebe is also a Trump supporter because she thinks he will push female rage to heights that will finally topple the patriarchy. She sees Kai as an avatar for her to help facilitate that. Kai is absolutely desperate for a purpose- for something to make him special- and he latches onto the idea. So I was kind of right, in an anticlimactic way, about the cult leader being a woman in a pantsuit. It’s too bad for Bebe that Kai can’t and won’t follow instructions for shit.

Kai has a rally but it gets interrupted by protesters. Upset by the news coverage and the incumbent senator’s dismissal, he then details a truly monstrous plan to cast the protesters as dangerous radicals by framing them for the murders of a thousand pregnant women. I’d say “way to overreact, my guy” but there’s more going on here. I see shades of Antifa bullshit, but it’s also Kai’s take on Charles Manson’s Helter Skelter concept. He wants to start an apocalyptic gender war rather than an apocalyptic race war. Or so he says. Bebe’s original plan for him and Kai’s own self-serving plans are getting scrambled by his increasingly severe drug-induced paranoid schizophrenia, but there’s still signs of the old wily Kai. He *knows* the Feds are watching him, that there’s a betrayer in his ranks. If not for the noise in his head, he could probably figure it out. That’s what he’s trying to do in his dead parents’ room when he’s interrupted by hallucinations of Vincent’s corpse and young Charles Manson talking to him. Charlie tells him to “identify the Judas”, but subconsciously he already has.

I’ve seen quite a bit of confusion around the Interwebs as to why Evan is playing so many characters, which I don’t get. It’s obvious that Kai is a megalomaniac with a disordered mind who projects himself onto those he considers “great men”. This episode underlines that no fewer than four times by having him project his own followers onto Manson Family members. Speaking of which- between her cold implacability as Ally and her gleeful brutality as “Sexy Sadie”, I’m absolutely convinced that Sarah needs to play a major villain ASAP. Get on it, Murphy! 

For Winter, this episode is about facing the fallout from her past actions and finding no takers on her apologies. Ally isn’t interested. Beverly isn’t interested. And Kai? The scene where he has Winter cut his hair and shave his scruff is already a season favorite of mine. There’s the oddly bisected mirror from his last transformation. There’s the constant threat of the razor. There’s the sweet childhood haircut story juxtaposed with teenaged pillow-humping. There’s the promise of release and the springing of the trap. She pleads her innocence and tries to reason with him in a final scene that strongly echoes Vincent’s, complete with an offer to do pinky power. And then Kai kills Winter with his bare hands. Her death is arguably the great tragedy of his life, the loss of the “the only person in the world who really talks to me and knows me”, and he does it to himself. 

It’s pretty clear that the whole thing was a setup by Ally and Beverly. Their shared revenge is as terrible and harrowing as anything Kai has ever concocted, and they aren’t done yet. Remember how Ally was interviewed by the police and maybe the FBI after Sally Keffler and Meadow’s deaths? Senator Herbert Jackson mentions the Department of Justice. Speed Wagon is wearing a wire. And Beverly, though she’s been tested, is the unbreakable tiger Bebe Babbitt took her for. I’m not sure how it’s going to play out exactly, but Kai’s time as a free man is short and coming to an inexorable end.

This is, overall, my favorite episode since ‘Midwestern Assassin’. Now only the finale is left, and I’m spooked because last season’s is very probably my pick for the worst AHS episode ever. (That's an assessment I'm not alone in, BTW, as it's ranked dead last in IMDb ratings.) Please, ‘Cult’, please stick the landing.

[djrelentless]

“Circles And Old Habits”

December 19, 2013 at 5:11pm

I am finally back in Toronto. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind of events and emotions. I started December with one of my most ambitious endeavors to date. I put together an awards show to honor ten people from the community who either helped raise awareness or money in the fight against HIV/AIDS. I am happy to say that the POZ-TO Awards at Crews & Tangos were a success on World AIDS Day. It was amazing to see so many people come out from our diverse Gay Community to celebrate and help raise just under $1200 for Toronto's People With AIDS Foundation. What a way to close out the year!

Then it was the mad rush to get everything ready for probably one of the most important trips for myself and my husband, John.

Earlier this year I wrote about reconnecting with my family in Florida. I told you about not being in contact with my family for almost 24 years. I wrote about my strained relationship with my father and a Thanksgiving Dinner back in 1991 that would change the course of all our lives.

Well, after spending the better part of the spring, summer and fall of 2013 writing and calling my step-mother (Teresa), my uncle (Rudolph), my brothers (Anthony & Anton) I decided that I really wanted to go see them around Christmas. I had some gigs scheduled in New York City and Asbury Park. So, I booked a couple of cheap airline tickets to Tampa, Florida. I was taking my husband home for the holidays! Wow….I never thought I would be uttering that phrase in my life. This would be a trip back to two of my homes of the past. John had been to the New York area with me before, but going to a family reunion at my Uncle Rudolph's house in Florida was a big deal.

So, let's start with the trip to The Big Apple and New Jersey. Arriving in New York City felt like home. Seeing my friends like Marshall, Andrew, Adrian, Neil, Jermaine and Kale was a real nice way to start off. Tried to go to some of my old haunts like The Monster and The Hangar, but I'm afraid too much time has past. Both places were just the mere shells of themselves. I didn't recognize any of the small attendees (except for maybe a couple of die-hard regulars sprinkled here and there). Those places of old employment didn't feel like home anymore.

I called a few of my old friends but their lives seemed to have moved on in different directions. As I explained to my husband, the longer I stay away the further I am in most's memories. But oddly enough, a theme for our trip was starting in New York and New Jersey. And the theme was "Circles & Old Habits". From friends repeating old patterns in relationships to others not recognizing that they have addiction problems……some things never change.

Somehow, Asbury Park always seems to be the same. I guess it is because it is a little smaller than NYC. Spinning at Georgies Bar is always a treat. The reputation and legacy of DJ Relentless still holds up there. Unfortunately, the cold weather kept a lot folks in (and truthfully….I don't blame 'em). If I didn't have to be out, I wouldn't either. And no visit to Asbury Park is complete without the late night after the bar talk to catch up with David Hoffman. Him and Marshall White are probably my oldest friends (not meaning in age, but as in longest time knowing each other) in the Tri-State area.

So, then it was off to Atlantic City to fly out to Florida. To tell the truth, I was a little nervous. Talking to someone over the phone or through facebook is one thing, but seeing them face to face is another. Memories of the reasons I left Tampa came flooding back. And that insecure kid who so desperately wanted acceptance reared his head on the plane ride down. But as soon as I saw my Uncle Rudolph waiting for us at the airport, a sense of accomplishment rushed over me. The look in his eyes told me that I had done the right thing by coming home.

Finally, I could show my husband where I came from. The places I grew up and the food I always brag about. As we drove through the city, tons of memories that I had not thought about in years came back. Stories of my youth poured from my mouth. I'm sure John was sick of it by the second the day. And finally, I was going to find out what had happen over the past two decades in my family.

Me and the saviors of our family....Uncle Rudolph & Aunt Ruthie. These two are the ones who are trying keep everyone together.

First, I have to say that my Uncle Rudolph and my Aunt Ruth are the glue that holds what's left of my family together. I applaud them for putting "Family First" regardless what happens. After some of the things they shared with me, I don't know if I could do what they have done. My father's side of my family is a big bundle of "Circles & Old Habits". And the expression of "history repeating itself" is so fitting. My father, his mother, my Aunt Kathy and even the man who got me into DJ-ing (Uncle Herb) were not nice people. And the disfunction that they wallowed in has ruled the development of their off-spring. My brothers, Vaughn, Adrain, Anton, and Anthony are all following in my fathers foot-steps. All with kids too early in life, all consumed with sex and all making mistakes that are gonna haunt them later in life. Except for the kids, I am guilty of these things too. But fortunately, I stopped and changed my cycle. I have a different perspective about my life. In a way….I kinda feel like Uncle Rudolph's approach rubbed off on me. We both have the ability to see the bigger picture and what's important in life.

My Uncle Rudolph and Aunt Ruth invited everyone over to their house for a barbecue. They spend two days preparing all the food for that day. Chicken, beef ribs, pork ribs, potato salad, collard greens….hell, there was so much food I couldn't sample it all! Oh….and the best macaroni & cheese I've had in a long time! See my brothers, cousins (Tarkesha, Tula, Cookie and Cornell), nieces and nephews was such a treat. We laughed and reminisce all day. It was a shame that everyone didn't make it over at the same time. It would have been great to get a group photo. And John had such a great time meeting everyone. As a Canadian, John was really enjoying my family's accents and sensibilities. I think Aunt Ruth was his favorite. It was wonderful being respected and accepted. Too bad, Teresa (my step-mother) was not well enough to make over that day. So, we went to see her the next day.

But I guess the one brother that I was most disappointed with was Vaughn. He did not want to see me at all. I found out that his first born son is also gay. In some strange way he blames me. He treats his son exactly like my father treated me. He has nothing to do with him. I hope that he does not have the same fate as my father. I am a firm believer that God puts people and situations in your life to teach you how to love. It's just a shame that not everyone gets that lesson. Perhaps Vaughn thinks because I was so "out" about being gay so young that I set a bad example. But from my mother's side of the family, I was taught to just be me. That's all I can be. So, if that meant that I wanted o wear a wig and lip-sync songs for the family at Christmas….so be it. No one told me that I was wrong. My grandmother (Carrie-Mae) just let me be who I was and loved me unconditionally.

It was really heartbreaking to hear the demise of my Uncle Herbert. He went blind as a teenager, but was always talented in music. My Uncle Rudolph told me that he graduated from college with degrees in child psychology. I never knew that. I only knew him as a DJ and musician. It was terrible to know that he was robbed and beaten up so badly that he had to be put on life support. And basically it was my father's fault for leaving him alone with a stranger in the house. He was a brilliant man and he taught me so much about music. It's hard to believe that he is gone.

And the last disturbing thing to finally see the last mother figure in my life being mistreated my her sons. Teresa was a very important part of my life when I was trying to know my father back in the early 80's. She recognized that I was gay and tried to get him to accept it. I witnessed her taking mental and physical abuse from this man. I watched her get up and go to work to feed me, Adrian, Anton, Zuberi (my mother's other child) and Anthony while my father would lay around drinking some days. So, to see her not well and her own sons not making sure that she is comfortable and living better was just upsetting! This is what I meant about "Circles & Old Habits". My brothers are doing the same things my father did and don't even realize it. The disfunction continues with no end in sight. These lives are going round and round in circles.

Now, some would say…..why are you putting your family out there on "front street" like this? Well, I am hoping they read this and do something about it. I know that I am risking alienating myself all over again, but something also occurred to me while I was visiting. I am the oldest. After my Uncle Rudolph, I am the oldest male on my father's side of the family. It is my responsibility to step up to the plate and do what I can. I cannot be a father to my brothers. Too much time has past. Attitudes and habits have been formed. I can only set an example and lend my experiences to the fabric of what is our family.

Another interesting thing that my aunt and uncle shared with me was the last monarch of the family was gay also. My Great Uncle Luther was a closeted homosexual. So, it is so funny to me that some of the men in my family have issues with gay people. There are plenty of us in the family and have been for years.

So, I shall return to Tampa more often. There was a time that I was not interested in ever seeing Florida again. Now, I think I have to spend some more time there…..for my family and most importantly for me. Plus, I also found out that I have a couple of gay relatives who I think could benefit from having me around. I wanna make sure that they don't have to grow up with all the baggage that my father put on me. So, Uncle Jade and Aunt Johnny are gonna be a part of your lives.

The long weekend in Tampa seemed to have flown by. I did get to reconnect with my probably one of my longest running friends, Rossie. It's hard to believe that I met him back in the late 70's. It is great to know that some friends may come and go, but others are there for life. Hopefully, LaKiria & Ashley (girlfriends of my brothers) will be added to that list of life long friends.

So, we rushed backed to NYC for my last gig this trip. I was spinning at an East Village landmark, The Cock. I never really had a huge following in the East Village. I built my reputation on the Westside of Manhattan (Greenwich Village, Chelsea, Hell's Kitchen, Harlem). But thanks to another good friend, Shameless I think I am beginning to lay the foundation in other circles. New work relationships and new followings are being forged. I like it!

This trip really showed me that I made the right decisions in my life. I'm glad that I left Tampa when I did. That circle of disfunction had to be broken. I would not be the person I am today if I had not stepped out on faith and took a chance to change my life. And now I have a completely new life. I have continued to be blessed.