#I find both groups p insufferable too

[acesammy]

Started posting my art to twt again but I forgot that spn twt feels like a PVP enabled zone to me

[houserautha]

These Destined Ends

Part Seventeen

Summary: Jessica fulfilled the wishes of the Bene Gesserits to produce a daughter. You’re now burdened with the task of not only marrying the na-Baron, but also bearing his child — the Kwisatz Haderach. Will you take your fate into your own hands? Or will it always belong to those who control you?

Pairings: Feyd-Rautha x F!Reader

Warnings: angst, depictions of violence, breeding/pregnancy kink, oral sex f receiving, some good ole p in v

Word Count: 3.5k

A/N: I’m baaack (for now). My plan for this part was for Feyd and reader to fight/argue more but I love them too much and I just couldn’t do it

It takes a tremendous effort not to look at Feyd. You can only imagine the expression on his face, the depth of hurt in his dark eyes. Even the image in your head is enough to plant a seed of despair, spiraling through you like crushing vines.

“What baby?” Feyd asks again. His voice has taken on a steely undertone, perceptible only to you. You’ve heard a plethora of emotions running like currents in his voice, disguised by years of training and practice, but this one guts you the most. There’s a single layer of vulnerability.

Of questioning hurt.

You inhale and force yourself to say, “Our baby.”

There’s no way to know how he will react. You’ve seen every side of him — the lover, the monster, the soldier — and you’ve examined each with a careful eye, peering into the mouth of his being and inspecting its teeth. But no amount of familiarity can prepare you for his calloused hand encircling your wrist and tugging you to face him.

“Say it again.”

Tears burn your eyes. “Our baby.” And suddenly it comes tumbling out, all of it. “I’m pregnant. I haven’t known long. I-I was going to tell you after you healed because I knew you would fret over me. You have to understand.”

Your explanation hastens as he stares back at you blankly. You would’ve preferred him to lash out at you, hit you, call you any number of insufferable names. But this…

“You didn’t tell me,” he says. He’s mastered his voice enough that it feels like the prick of a blade under your ribs, waiting to push in.

“You couldn’t afford to think about me,” you tell him, “you needed to focus on your health.”

There’s a flicker there, in his expression. “It is not solely your decision to make. The child is both of ours. You should’ve told me.”

“Feyd —”

“Enough.” Feyd releases his grip. “I’ve heard enough.

“Feyd, please —”

His jaw feathers with suppressed emotion. Feyd whirls on the heel of his boot and storms off, leaving a wake of silence. You watch his retreating form, sorrow clenching in your chest like a fist. Only once he’s disappeared around the corner and you’re sure he won’t return, do you lash around to confront Chani.

“Why did you do that?”

“Do what?” A lazy smile unfurls on her face. “I assumed you told him already.”

“Fuck you.”

“Again?” Chani asks.

No one dares stop you as you dress for battle in your stillsuit. Chani better pray to her gods that you don’t find her alone in the battle field, you can’t promise not to take out your anger. The public argument between you two simmers as the group gathers, reviewing the attack. A familiar movement in the corner of your eye distracts you, and surprise grips you in response.

“What are you doing?” You breathe out, ashamed to admit how relieved you felt, however fleeting.

“Did you think I’d let you go out alone?”

Feyd avoids your gaze, keeps his own focused on Stilgar as the bearded man explains his plan. Your husband is so heartbreakingly beautiful. You commit his profile to memory, the essence of him — wrath and death, the god of war, but also the softer side of him that only you’ve seen. Before, on Giedi Prime, you didn’t know the pain of losing him, of seeing him bleeding out in the sands of Arrakis.

The memory flashes in your mind. The level of desperation in your voice is frankly pathetic, but you wouldn’t allow it for anyone else. “You have to forgive me, Feyd. I thought —”

“Save it.” His gaze slides, finally, to you. You might imagine the softness that forms there when he looks at you. “We’ll talk later.”

Your legs are cramping. You’ve laid on this fucking sand dune for what seems like a small eternity now, covered in a mesh blanket to disguise yourself. Feyd rests next to you. The Fremen are buried in the sand for ambush. You don’t know why you would want to help the Harkonnen, but they were insistent upon you being removed from the initial attack.

Your decision to move your leg is forgotten at the droll sound of a ship in the distance, a dark shape in the sky that grows exponentially larger. Feyd stiffens next to you.

“Rabban might be on that ship,” you say as loud as you dare.

Feyd’s mouth forms a firm line. “I hope he is.”

It strikes you that you’re quite grateful to be on the side of the Fremen as they launch their ambush, bodies upon bodies emerging from the sands like desert wraiths and immediately killing every foot soldier. You and Feyd launch from your hiding spot once the ship opens fire — Feyd to join the fighting on the ground, you aiming the blasgun given to you. You follow him with your eyes as he moves through the bloodshed like it’s a well-choreographed dance, both graceful and gruesome, his blades glinting.

Shot after shot you take out as many Harkonnens as you can, trying not to think about how you might know them. You focus, instead, on the fact that they would do anything to erase the life growing inside your womb, the promise of unity.

The Messiah.

From your vantage point the ambush looks to be waning when a figure disembarks from the ship. The last time you saw him, you’d tried to kill him.

The feeling hadn’t gone away.

Feyd kicks in the knee of a fellow Harkonnen, who drops to the ground. In a fluid movement he removes the helmet and slits their throat, then regards his brother. There’s no doubting that Rabban recognizes his brother, even in a stillsuit, recognizes the man he trained and fought with.

Every instinct in you is yelling at you to tumble down the dune to join the fight, but the rumble of a sandworm hums beneath your feet and you know that you don’t have time. Already the Fremen are retreating. Almost all of the Harkonnen soldiers have been cut down except for the spare few who stayed behind with Rabban. The ship whirs to life. You can’t tell if the brothers exchange any words before the ship lifts back into the air and Feyd is clamoring back to you, his face paler than normal beneath his protective helmet.

You know not to question him about it until later but when you return to the sietch, the ambush team rejoices in their triumph. You’re jostled back and forth and away from Feyd. “The Messiah paved our way to victory!” Stilgar exclaimes, dirt and blood smearing his face.

A roar of approval echoes him and you smile weakly at the Fremen patting you on the back and reaching out to touch your abdomen. An actual growl over your shoulder wards them off, though, Feyd appearing in your peripheral.

“Y/N!” Jessica emerges from the festivities, expression concerned. “Are you alright?” Her attention drops to your stomach.

Irritation has you grinding your molars together as you bite out, “I’m fine.”

“Where were you?” Feyd levels this question to your mother.

Jessica says, “I was doing my duty. Here.”

“You say you have the interest of the Fremen at heart but you make yourself conveniently scarce whenever the opportunity arises to prove it.”

You suppress a smirk. While healing, he missed most of your mother’s Bene Gesserit propaganda. It pleases you that he sees through her bullshit right off the bat. Even if he doesn’t completely understand it, or your participation in it, Feyd knows that Jessica is not as genuine as she says.

“Do you doubt me?” She asks him.

Feyd’s silence is response enough. A flicker of irritation crosses Jessica’s face.

“You need to speak to them,” she says to you, “tell them that you foresaw this victory. That with our help, with the support of the Messiah, they will succeed in this war. That today is just a taste.”

Feyd cuts his gaze to you. Well, he knows your participation now.

“No,” you tell her.

Jessica has the good sense to look taken aback. “No?”

“I am tired. And I wish to reunite with my husband. You speak to them.” You grab Feyd’s hand despite knowing that the contact is unwanted, dragging him away from the crowd and your mother’s palpable anger. For your sake he clings to you until you’re out of sight, then wrenches his hand away.

“I have not forgotten what you done,” he snarls.

You double check to ensure that no one is around to overhear what undoubtedly will become an argument. “I know.”

Soft to his unyielding fury.

“Tell me everything.”

Unable to look at him, you find a spot on the wall past him, regret burrowing into your heart. “I-I’ve known for roughly three months now. I didn’t know if he would survive the crash.”

“He?” A single word.

“Yes.” For the first time in his presence, you let your fingers drift to your abdomen. Feyd’s hands twitch but otherwise he’s motionless. “It’s…a boy. He’s strong. I can feel it.”

Feyd wavers slightly, the news leeching from the reservoir of his anger. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I told you, I knew you would never give yourself the time to heal if you knew.”

“It’s my duty to protect you. My privilege. And all this time, not knowing—” Feyd cuts off abruptly, a spasm of pain crossing his expression. “I thought we told each other everything. No more games.”

Your heart pangs. “I wasn’t playing a game, Feyd. I wanted to protect you. I had to watch you nearly die in front of me. I can’t lose you.” You blame the pregnancy hormones for the tears that spring to your eyes, the emotions thick in your throat. “Please don’t hate me.”

“Nothing you do can make me hate you,” Feyd murmurs after a heartbeat. He steps closer, his thumb swiping over your cheeks, your tears. He seems to be wrestling for what to say next and finally whispers, “You’re pregnant.”

“I am,” you say, laughing, nearly delirious.

A moment passes in which he stares at you in disbelief, before he loops his arms around your waist and picks you up off your feet. A smile graces your face, buried in his neck, as he whirls you in a circle and sets you back down with a rarely-heard laugh — clear and deep.

“A son,” he breathes. Realization encroaches his delight. “What does this mean? For us? For…him?”

Sorrow eclipses your own happiness, however brief. You keep it close to your heart, a memory for later, when it will be scarce. “The Fremen have been condition by the Bene Gesserit to believe our child is their Messiah.”

“Isn’t he?”

“Yes.” You cringe. “And no.”

“Explain.”

“As you know, we’ve been bred for generations to produce the Kwisatz Haderach. But according to the Fremen, to what the Bene Gesserits said, the mother must also be Bene Gesserit. And I am…not.”

“But they believe you are.”

Guilt punctures you like a blade to your lung, slipping between your ribs and expelling all of your breath. “Yes, they do. It’s all by my mother’s design. She wants the control.”

Feyd’s brow furrows. “Against my family?”

“The person in control of Arrakis is in control of the whole universe,” you say, “she wants to orchestrate everything from behind the scenes.”

To say it out loud devastates you, how you and Feyd have been only pawns in a scheme much larger than the both of you. And now your child.

Power drove your family apart.

“What do we do?” Feyd asks.

“I don’t know,” you reply honestly.

Feyd’s attention drifts to where the sietch is still celebrating their victory. “These people have been oppressed for too long. We can’t allow it to continue.”

“We need their allegiance, though,” you tell him. “We won’t win this war without them.”

“Wouldn’t we just be falling right into the Bene Gesserits hands? Lending ourselves and our son to them? Enslaving them?”

“I want justice for them as much as you.”

The slightest of exhales from Feyd. “What’s your plan?” When you look away without a reply, he reaches out to take your hand. “We’ll figure it out. But we don’t have much time.”

“Y/N.”

You turn to face your mother, wreathed in yellow fabric. The intensity of her blue-on-blue eyes is frightening. You haven’t dared to look into any reflective surface to see if yours possesses the same hue but, judging by the tint in Feyd’s, you probably look the same.

A visible sign of the way your life has transitioned.

“We aren’t done,” you say to her flatly.

“It can wait.”

Feyd bristles. “She said we weren’t done.”

Jessica lazily assess your husband. It incites a flare of anger in you; no one has ever looked at Feyd-Rautha before with such indifference. He simply did not command it. Out of the corner of your eye you peek at him. Shutters have drawn down on his face, making him entirely unreadable. The slightest of muscles jumping under his eye tells you of the turmoil beneath the surface of his composure.

“You think you own her?” Jessica asks. “Just because you’re wed? Need I remind you that it was by my design.”

Feyd snarls, “No one owns her.”

“You belong to centuries of Bene Gesserit design,” your mother reminds you, “this is your destiny.”

“It’s the destiny that you’ve manipulated,” you snap back. “What will they do when they find out that I’m not a witch? That everything is a lie?”

“It’s not my fault that you failed to live up to your potential,” Jessica shot back.

It hits you like a slap to the face.

“I suggest that you take your leave,” Feyd says into the stunned silence. He steps forward, half shielding you with his body.

Jessica’s upper lip curls. “The failed heir to the Baroncy. A weapon, but nothing more. Except perhaps a sire. Congratulations.”

“Enticing us into an argument isn’t going to make us give in to your demands,” you say. “I refuse to take part in your indoctrination anymore.”

“Fine. Tell them it’s a lie. They’ll kill you before you can say another word.”

Feyd curses under his breath. You both know that she’s right, that the link of your son is the only thing keeping you alive. It’s a tremulous relationship between you and the Fremen, one that not even the victory today could completely reconcile. You hate that Jessica still has such a firm hold over you. Over Feyd. Your son.

At your sides, your hands tremble with suppressed rage. “This isn’t over.”

“Isn’t it?” Jessica’s lips curl into a smile.

You lay side by side later that night, mulling over the events that had unfolded. The darkness obscures your husband but his presence beside you is solid, unyielding. Safe.

“He saw me today. Rabban.”

“Do you think they’ll come for you?” You ask.

His silence stretches on for quite some time before he answers. “Perhaps. I’m not sure whether I want them to or not. Probably not.”

“Why wouldn’t they? Surely they thought that you — we — died in the crash.”

“That’s just it,” Feyd says, “Rabban undoubtedly reported our deaths and, by admitting he’s wrong, will suffer for it. I suspect that he’s fuming right now actually.”

“Hopefully long enough for us to figure out our next step,” you murmur in reply.

The cot that you both have squeezed onto rustles as Feyd turns on his side. You can just barely make out his face, the shape of his shoulder. His hand moves to your abdomen, where it hovers before finally landing. His palm is warm on your skin, alighting a fire inside of you. No matter how many times you touch your entire being reacts to him, surging up to meet him. And there, as weak as a fluttering pulse, your baby, too small for Feyd to notice rejoicing in his closeness.

“Our next step is just to take them one at a time.” His eyes glisten in the darkness. “I do not want to miss out on these moments because I am worried about a future that is not promised.”

Feyd dips down, presses a kiss to your navel. You can’t help but sigh in response, hips rising, eager to feel his lips elsewhere. He chuckles, deep and rumbling, fingers dancing over the waistband of your pants. “We have conceived a child. Some would argue that our obligation to one another is finished.”

“And what would you argue?”

He pretends to pause, to consider this. “I would tell them that I must be cold in the ground to miss an opportunity to fuck my wife.”

A laugh escapes you as he masterfully removes the barrier of cloth between you, relying on touch to guide him down your body. Hips still wriggling, Feyd quells your impatience with his tongue. He slides through your folds like he’s savoring the experience, like he might never taste you again, tracing over your entrance but denying you the admittance. You buck up in frustration.

“Patience, jewel,” he murmurs against you, “I want to relish touching my pregnant wife for the first time.”

Your cunt clenches at this. You’re forced to squeeze your eyes, as the sight of him between your legs is almost too much to bear. Your whole life you have been chasing home and now, here, you have found it in him, in his ruinous touch. You were his, marked before by the band on your finger and now the child in your womb, not a sign of ownership but belonging.

“Such a good, perfect wife,” he says as he pleases you, a mixture of his fingers and his mouth. “Taking my seed so well and giving me a son. I cannot wait to see you grow with him in your belly, my child. Our child.”

He withdraws long enough to stroke himself, clearly aroused at the thought. Your thighs press together, slicked by his mouth and your own arousal, but Feyd pushes them apart with one hand while pumping himself with the other. In a single, fluid movement, he then pushes his cock into you with decisive force. You bite down on your lip to keep from crying out as he fills you completely, stretching your walls.

Feyd draws back and thrusts into you, over and over, building in ferocity. You bury your fingers into the cot to anchor yourself. Stars burst across your vision.

He speaks through each panted breath as if he might perish if he does not say the words. “I have given my heart to you, my soul, and in return you have given yourself to me. To my son.” There’s a hitch in his voice. Feyd presses his body to yours as he drives into you, holding you close. “You have given me the ultimate gift.”

Tears splatter on your chest. You realize with a lurching heart that he is crying, overcome with his emotions. You hold on to him just as tightly — there are no words fitting for this confession. Instead you pour yourself into him, into the push and pull of your bodies. And when you come together, crashing into your release, there is no distinction between you or him; you are only one. One breathing, pulsing being, utterly entwined.

Afterwards, when you have kissed the tears off his cheeks and he’s thoroughly cleaned you, Feyd curls up beside your abdomen. Adrift in your post-orgasm bliss, you’ve nearly succumbed to sleep when he says:

“I see him.”

Drowsy, you ask, “Who?”

“Our son.” This piques your interest, leading you to squint into the dark at him. Feyd, sensing your confusion, elaborates, “I see him in my dreams. Nightmares. I didn’t understand at first but now I know that it’s him.”

“Really?” Your voice is soft.

Feyd nods. His finger trails up the curve of your belly, not quite shaped by your pregnancy. “He looks like you and I’m so…I’m so proud of him.” There’s an edge of sadness in his voice now. “Even though, in my nightmares, he —”

You wait for him to continue but he does not. Feyd shudders against you, wrought with whatever pain the poison-induced dreams leave.

Feyd finally whispers, “Do you think we can change our fate? What’s been laid out for us?”

“I like to think so,” you say with honesty. Every instinct in you is raging at whatever has unraveled your husband so, but you know that the matter must be delicate. You don’t want to press.

“But what if we can’t?”

You ghost your fingers over his head, desperate to comfort him. The words unnerve you but you don’t dare let him know that you’re frightened by the same thing.

“I will love you until the very end of it,” you breathe, “that is all I can say for sure.”

Feyd replies, full of fear and regret, “I know.”

Taglist:

@moonsoulk @heartarianagran @torchbearerkyle @unicoreads @mamawiggers1980 @jovialeggsbailiffsoul @harkonnin @avidreader73 @unicorntrooper @beebeechaos @kamcrazy123 @wo-ming-bai @m-indkiller @kpopnstarwars @dacreshoney @stopeatread @the-na-baroness @therealslimshady-1 @unnisumi @aoi-targaryen @psychoffin @lauratang @austinswhitewolf @bloodyziggy

[kitorin]

what a time.

contents. 2.084k words, hurt no comfort, gaslighting, angst, doubting reality, really toxic in general, middle and high school au, unestablished relationship, nudity (kind of??)

Annoying.

If someone were to ask you about Michael Kaiser, that's how you'd answer.

Other valid adjectives were insufferable, irritating and infuriating. And honorable mentions went to vexing and exasperating.

He's always been that way, talkative and you'd daresay even clingy, from the day you first met him, in the middle of class amidst chaos and excitement.

"Hey."

"Hello?" Entering high school was already scary enough, you certainly did not want to deal with your social awkwardness and an unfairly tall blond man you've never spoken to before.

Despite starting it, he didn't continue the conversation, cerulean, unreadable eyes only staring. It was unsettling, and was beginning to make you a bit worried.

His lips curved into a mischievous smirk, before walking away.

Needless to say, he was weird.

That odd interaction from him, was the initiation of whatever peculiar relationship the two of you had.

"How do you like your coffee? You seem like someone who likes it really dark" He turned around during math class randomly just to ask you.

"May I squish your cheeks?" A bizarre request which you didn't even answer to since you were too shocked to respond.

"I shall not let you people ruin their innocence." A peculiar announcement after realizing you didn't understand sexual jokes.

You weren't exactly close friends. You didn't text each other outside of school or sit with each other every single class. Not once have you ever hung out outside of school.

Yet he still lingered on the boundaries of friends and lovers.

It's a vivid memory, hard to forget. You and your classmates were lined up against a wall, waiting for a teacher.

"Hey y/n." Your teeth bite your lip nervously at the inevitable conversation that was going to occur.

"Yes-?" Kaiser barely gave you an opportunity to respond, as you're now pressed up against the wall, long arms trapping you.

He didn't say anything. Only maintaining eye contact with you, sapphire boring into your soul. You don't say anything either, as the rest of the class swoons over this dramatic gesture.

The awkward atmosphere remains, and the first instinct you had was to slap him. Out of surprise he cupped his cheek, but still laughed joyfully. It wasn't necessarily hateful strike but rather a flustered one.

But even then he came crawling back to annoy you.

"I hate him." You tell your friend after another period of dealing with Michael's clinginess. This time, he was asking you what you'd do with a million dollars ("Go to Japan, theoretically that'd be the best because of currency conversion rates.") and started an argument about whether a million dollars was truly a lot or not with the surrounding classmates.

"Why's he so obsessed with you? It's been like this since forever." Given that your friend was also in the same class as both you and Kaiser they witnessed his behavior first hand. "He's so weird."

You hum with agreement as you watch him run off to Ness and the rest of his friend group.

It's been years, years of his clingy attention and affection towards you (or as your friend labelled it, 'obsession').

Years, yet you still find yourself pondering why, why act like this, why you? Why were you receiving this treatment? He wasn't this nice to people unless they were close friends, typically he'd rudely dismiss others. You had better things to worry about, such as the transition to university and what you were planning to do with your future, yet the question of why remained strong in your mind.

It's not like this behavior made things any easier for you. In fact it was only amplifying your confusion.

It's stuffy inside the fitness lab, with the constant slam of weights and chattering (of your PE classmates). Nothing particularly exciting happened in here, all you did was workout whilst gazing into the glass panel, which exposed the contents of the cycling room. Gazing wasn't even the right word, you were zoning out, paying no attention to the world around you.

That was, until you noticed someone exposing their stomach inside the cycling room, with someone else reaching out for their abs. Of course it had to be Kaiser.

The event pulled you out of your daze, the boy with Kaiser having an embarrassed and flustered expression, while yours was pure shock. You did not want to see that. Nor needed to.

As if the situation wasn't weird enough, Kaiser pushes the boy aside, all while maintaining eye contact. As per usual, his aquamarine eyes still evoked that unsettling emotion within you.

And then. His hand grasps the rim of his jacket and shirt, slowly lifting up.

You're quick to realize what his intentions were, and immediately cover your eyes, to save yourself from embarrassment and discomfort.

It's been hours since then. Difficult ones.

You're now in bed, and supposed to be sleeping soon, but the curiosity and panic of your thoughts won't permit that.

Something's clearly wrong. Michael Kaiser's antics were always burnt into your mind due to how memorable they were, but never before had they consistently replayed.

Now you're the odd one. Why couldn't you stop thinking about the incident in the fitness lab?

Why would he do that?

What if, you didn't look away-?

You face plant into your pillow, disgusted at the possibility of wanting to see underneath.

What is wrong with you. You hate him. A lot.

But no matter how long you spend rambling about how annoying he was and your loathing for him, it wasn't legitimate or spiteful hate. It's not the kind of 'hate' you experience because of the harsh education system or any of the bullying that occurred here. It was more, more like...

You can't put your finger on it. And that's another thing you really do hate. The difficulty of fully comprehending and understanding Michael Kaiser's actions and intentions.

That, genuinely frustrates you.

An attempt is made to stabilize your breathing and to quell the violent pounding of your heart, and it fails. Badly.

And you're back to the incident in the fitness lab, almost dying of curiosity of what the hell was going on in Kaiser's head.

As a response your face burns, the warm sensation causing you to bury your face in the pillow, as if it'd eradicate this new emotion of yours.

There's no point in avoiding it now, but as you slowly realize what may be going on, a mix of dread, embarrassment, and surprise churn inside of your stomach.

You, like Michael Kaiser, the Kaiser who had been obsessing over you ever since the start of middle school...?

And as if the universe was transpiring against your confusion and denial, you began to recall moments with him.

The small ones, where he'd ask about your younger siblings with great interest, as well as wish for their success of getting into classes for the academically gifted. Or how he'd try to convince you to play first person shooter games with him and Ness (you declined due to not having the right devices for video games).

The grander ones too. Like the tense kabedon (he was probably feeling great about himself as you panicked during those few moments), or that one time outside of English.

The half exposed corridor engulfed with cold wind, as the open hallway provided the (always) beautiful view. The coast was on display, waves of ultramarine and navy regularly swallowing the sand, with dots of boats bobbing up and down with the currents. The rest of the view was adorned with the residency nearby, clouds decorating the sky and the sun shying away behind said clouds.

It felt great, as you hurried to English. It was easy to feel at peace, with the wind caressing your hair and face, the cool sensation juxtaposing the warmth of your uniform.

But that tranquility was soon disturbed, as you heard Kaiser yell, shamelessly, as if he didn't care about anyone else hearing.

"y/n l/n, I love you !"

The claim had flustered you so much that your legs ended up walking as fast as possible, wanting to avoid being caught blushing and stuttering. A cheeky giggle followed his bold exclamation.

It's his fault. Not yours, you simply tried to exist normally, go to school normally, and be educated normally. It's his fault, not yours, he's the one who's been spending his time on you.

You've calmed down. At least that's what you've convinced yourself, but your heart still beats ever so intensely.

Maybe it wouldn't be too bad to reciprocate his affection?

Sure love was foreign to you, but after all the endearment from him, it was only proof of how good you are together, right?

The idea of giving into liking someone was uncomfortable, in fact it was almost horrifying.

But isn't that the point? Vulnerability is scary but the risks of love are supposed to be fruitful and worth the effort.

"Look, are you sure you meant something to him?"

Kira, an old friend asked, skeptical of what you told him. This year you had gotten closer, and decided it was a smart move to tell him, given that they were both on the soccer team which could've helped. But your prediction was sadly incorrect.

"Of course I do, I just don't know what happened to him recently and wanted to ask, but I won't ever get a moment with him alone."

With apprehension and timidity strangling you, you found it difficult to approach him without letting others know of the conflicting emotions within you. Frustratingly, Kaiser was never alone.

"But are you sure?"

His doubt only tightened the anxiety suffocating you. Why wouldn't an old friend of yours believe you?

"Of course-"

"Are you really sure though, you're overreacting, it's not like you were in love."

"B-" But he said he loved me. Obviously, it was a while ago, but the all the interactions between you two weren't mere fragments of your imagination.

"Look, you must be going crazy, you're remembering stuff wrong. And I'm sorry, but the other day he told Isagi that you were all his."

You weren't sure whether to feel heartbroken at the possibility of you being simply delusional, or the last part of his statement.

But there's no way you were crazy, nothing was wrong with you. You could accept a one sided crush, but this?

You didn't make anything up. You know that really well, but the chance that you're simply just mentally deranged scares you. Because, what if Kira's right? That meant all that time with him weren't real, that you're only someone in the background, remaining unloved.

You ignore that thought. At least try to. Because you couldn't have imagined that sort of attention from another anyways, and you deserved to have your story heard, and not to start struggling to understand reality properly.

You feel like a fool. A pathetic one.

Because no matter how hard you clung onto those heart warming memories, it didn't change the bitter coldness of your current reality. It's not like you were trying to force reciprocation, you just wanted one thing. Closure.

It didn't even take long. Years of you and Kaiser seemed to disappear, without explanation, and it was his fault.

The swooning and fangirling over you two dissolved to shocked "Kaiser's spoken to you before??"s and your friendship dissipated into nothingness; mere classmates who never talk.

It hurt. All of it did. The death of your relationship with him, and how no one seemed to remember. The fact that you went from a significant part of his school life to a background character. While you were in pain, he was living life as if he'd never met you.

Before you knew it everything had changed.

The begging for school help and academic compliments became unnecessary insults and shit talk of calling you a bitch for having high standards for your grades.

Hours of badminton and admiration of your skill harshly converted to dismissal of your presence and abilities.

Playful declarations of you being his soulmate turned into him inflicting huge discomfort with his insensitive words.

The passionate "I love you" had disintegrated into nothing, turned into ashes of mere acquaintances and distant classmates.

The unserious "I hate him" had become a genuine one, real hate blossoming within your soul and hurt forever blemishing your heart, as you watch him remain completely unscathed, grinning ear to ear as if nothing happened.

© kitorin : do not repost, plagiarize, change, or translate

[bazthefirstborn]

could u do jealous scaramouche? 😭

like male reader was being around childe too much and being slightly touchy so he got jealous, then reader finds out and makes it up to him by fucking him?<3

OMG HI ANON !!!! yes I would be delighted hehe :D ily and your brain sm omloml skfjwadflj keyboard smash

JEALOUS SCARA X GN!READER

MDNI you know the drill

Scaramouche wouldn't call himself... possessive. He was, in a way, but he wasn't direct about it. He wanted everyone to know what was his, but not in a "grrrr nobody touches my s/o mine" way, just like a "I belong to them and only them" way. He now wears the collar you got for him around on the daily, it's a beautiful red silk, with an o-ring in the front and a cute little golden bell. If Y/N didn't know any better, they'd think it was just a choker that went with his outfit, because, well, his hat literally jingled. But both of them knew that was not the case.

Y/N had to attend a Harbinger debrief meeting, (Harbinger reader <333) because it was to decide how a group of soldiers would carry on. These soldiers were working under Childe, who managed to rope Y/N in with his charming words. Scaramouche hated this. They were always sat together, because they were teammates now, They went out to lunches, they had outings to the Fatui outposts together, and even the soldiers under their command thought they were together. There was only so much Scara could do. He couldn't just go kill off the whole hoard of the soldiers. He tried that once, and he was almost discharged. He didn't know what else to do, so he followed them to a dinner that Childe and Y/N had planned.

About half an hour into the insufferable dinner (for Scara at least) Childe, sitting on the opposite side of the table as Y/N, touched their hand. Their hand. Scara was furious. How DARE he touch his love's hand??? Who does he think he is???

Scara decided to walk up to the table and say, "Y/N. We need to go."

Smirking, like they knew exactly what was happening, they said "Of course, darling. We have so much to do at home."

"Can I at least walk you out, Comrade?" Childe asked, who, apparently, had picked up on nothing that was happening.

"I've got it. Thank you, Tartaglia." Scara sneered.

He grabbed Y/N's hand and got them out of there as fast as he could. He was grumpy the whole way home, refusing to look at his partner.

As they stepped inside, Scaramouche was about to turn and leave, when:

"Scara, what's wrong?"

"Nothing." He was clearly upset, it was written all over his face.

"Was it Childe? We're just work partners, baby, you have nothing to worry about."

He broke down crying, laying over the couch. "He just... *sniff* He was flirting with you- and I- do you like him more than *sniff* me?"

"Scaramouche! I could never! Childe and I are just friends, I promise." Y/N said, sliding next to Scara on the couch, their legs intertwining with his. "I love you so so so much, Kuni... I could never leave you, especially not for someone like him."

They gave him a peck, but Scaramouche held onto their neck and pulled them in for another kiss, whining when he felt their tongue against his. When they pulled back, he immediately chased their lips, but they opted to kiss his neck instead. He moaned, clearly needy, and sat in their lap.

"Scara... are you sure?" They asked, concern etched on their face.

"Fuck! Yes! Please, daddy, make me yours!

That did it. They flipped Scaramouche so he was laying on his back, and took his shorts off. Staring in between his legs, Scaramouche turned beet red.

"My, my, Kuni~ Your panties are soaked! Were you this needy for me all day~"

"Yes, yes! I need you so bad, please!"

They couldn't resist when he asked so nicely, pulling his panties off his legs and diving straight into his core. They started by giving slow kitten licks to his clit, humming when he started grinding on their face. "Now, now, baby, don't get greedy on me." He whined, pushing their head into his pussy, now glistening with his slick and Y/N's spit.

"Please, Daddy, fuck me with your tongue~ I need it so bad- AHN!" He moaned when they let their tongue push through his folds and into his hole. "God, please! I need it!"

Y/N hummed again, sending waves of pleasure through his cute little cunt. They pulled their mouth away from Scara's hole, and he whined, trying to hold their hair. "Don't be bratty, baby boy. Take what I give you, slut." Y/N said, pushing their cock (or strap, whatever) into his hole, barely getting the head in before he screamed. "Shit! PLease, daddy! Please fill me up!"

They decided to oblige him, slowly sliding in. "Fuck, baby, you're so tight- shit!" When their hips met his, they both moaned, Y/N giving Scara a minute to adjust. They waited for that little noise and-

"Y- you can move, daddy."

With that, they slowly took their cock out to the head, and slammed it back in. "Fuck! Daddy please! Fuck me hard!" His voice kept getting higher and higher, and, as Y/N started pounding into him, he shrieked. "Daddy! I'm- ahg! I'm so cl- close!" They went into overdrive, pounding into Scara with their free hand rubbing his clit. "Shit! You feel so good, baby~ I'm close too."

"Yes! Cum with me daddy! I want you to fill me up~"

And with a cry, Scara squirted all over Y/N's cock. Y/N didn't even notice, only focusing on their own high. They kept pounding, Scaramouche wriggling around in oversensitivity. With a few more thrusts, Scara came again, clenching hard on Y/N's cock. This forced Y/N to cum inside Scara, with both of their cum falling down around Y/N's cock, still inside their little boyfiend's cunt.

They were both breathing heavy before Y/N was getting up, but Scaamouche stopped them. "Daddy... Stay. Please."

"Okay, love, I'm here."

They laid there, Y/N still inside Scara, and were about to fall asleep when:

"...Y/N?"

"Yes, baby?"

"I... love you. So much."

"I love you too darling."

the end

end note: this got so fluffy at the end baz w/ emotions???? weird

[youwerenevermeanttofeelalone]

Payback | Dean Winchester

✦ pairing — Dean Winchester x female!Plus Size Reader

✦ word count — 2.2k

✦ request — I was wondering if you could do a dean winchester imagine that is like the reader is like young and has been with the boys since she was 18 and now she’s like around 21 or 22. She lives at the bunker with them and helps with research. So, basically she’s fallen in love with dean and has been in love with him for years. She never says anything because she watches him go after all these skinny girls and thinks she will never be good enough since she’s big and doesn’t think he’d ever like her. Then one day she basically just reaches a breaking point and it comes out to dean, and after some angst they get together. Then maybe some fluff or smut?

✦ warnings — angst, age gap (reader is in her twenties while Dean is in his forties), reader is kinda insecure at times, language, mentions of past sexual partners, mentions of a past ilegal relationship, a twinge of jealousy, suggestive stuff, some fluff.

════════════════════════

You heard laughs on the other side of the bar, right under the Bud Light neon sign. Unable to stop yourself, you looked that way.

A small friend group had erupted in laughter. There was a tall guy in the middle of two redheads — you couldn’t see very well, but you could tell he had caught you staring.

So you deviated your eyes to the right, where the bartender served one of your companions another beer. A couple of beers in fact. Dean was talking to a woman, undoubtedly charming her as he rested his elbow on the bar and leaned in to whisper in her ear.

You couldn’t look any longer, you would be sick if you did. He should’ve been doing that to you.

Realistically, you were probably twice her size or more, but you still could dream.

That was the problem, truly — you only could dream. Dean would quit hunting before even considering seeing you as a potential conquest. By this point, you should have been used to it.

Your eyes went back to the friend group from earlier. The tall guy held your gaze for a moment — you couldn’t figure out his eye color, or what his eyes showed under the uneven light, but you damn well could see he was handsome.

Not wanting to give him the wrong impression, you turned to your side and picked up your jacket.

Maybe you should also start to pay attention to the men who were actually interested.

But they weren’t Dean Winchester.

Comparing every man you met to him was a reflex, just like comparing yourself to the women he picked up at bars.

The Bunker was eerie every hour of the day, but there was something especially uncanny about an empty Bunker in the middle of the night. Devastatingly so.

Turning on the lights as you made your way towards the library, you made a beeline towards the kitchen. You weren’t in the mood for drinking anymore or for food, but you knew you needed to drink water.

Taking refugee in the library, you looked around a few news sites to see if you found something. It wasn’t difficult to find something shady or weird going on, but filtering out conspiracy theories was a pain in the ass.

Eventually, you found just what you were hoping you would. Dean and Sam rarely took you with them for hunts, but perhaps you could convince them this time to at least let you watch from the car.

Sam came home a little later, tipsy enough to be in a good mood. You told him about the case you had found, he said he would check it out in the morning and wished you a goodnight.

Dean didn’t come home. Why would he when he could have literally anybody he wanted?

You didn’t get any sleep. You had hoped that listening to an audiobook would lull you, but like most things, it wasn’t enough to even entertain you.

You were sick of this, of being into somebody who would never be into you. And who the fuck loses sleep for somebody who doesn’t see them as anything more than a sibling? You, apparently.

You needed coffee and a hug, but coffee by itself would have to do.

To your luck, Dean was already in the kitchen when you entered. His hair was wet which meant he was, thankfully, fresh out of the shower.

Instead of greeting you, he asked, “Where’s Sammy?”

You shrugged. “I haven’t seen him since last night.”

“He took the car.”

You didn’t even know Sam had brought the car home the night before. “He must have found the case interesting.”

“There’s a case?”

“Kind of. It’s not too far away from here,” you explained, “but I wasn’t sure it was something up our alley. I guess Sam thought it was.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because you weren’t here.” You could tell your answer offended him. Good.

“You should have called.”

“Babying you isn’t my job, Dean.”

“Funny you say that when babysitting you isn’t mine and yet...”

“Can you stop treating me like a fucking child for two seconds?”

“Stop acting like one and I might.”

“God, you’re fucking insufferable. I can’t believe I’m in love with you!”

You didn’t know whose eyes were wider, if his or yours.

“Shit,” you muttered under your breath.

He tried to be nonchalant, but Dean couldn’t even move. “Sweetheart, come on. It’s okay.”

You effusively shook your head. “It’s isn’t.”

“You’re overreacting.”

“No, you don’t get to tell me what to do or how to fucking react.” You were yelling now. Why were you yelling over this?

“I— well, I don’t know what to say.” He stuttered. “I mean, you are a kid. I could be your dad who had a kid at a young age, okay? This is fucking crazy.”

“You weren’t supposed to know. It’s humiliating.”

“I’m not going to give you shit about it.”

“No, you are. And then you’re gonna go and fuck somebody who’s actually hot and interesting and you’re gonna make me feel worse.”

“Hey, you’re interesting.”

“I’m not. And even then, you don’t go for them because they’re interesting, do you?”

“What do you want me to say?”

You wanted him to say that you were attractive too, that he would go for you in a heartbeat.

“Nothing.”

Both of you remained silent then. He had many chances to make it right, to have enough pity for you to at least apologize for not realizing you were in love with him sooner.

“ I’m gonna go,” you announced, having decided that this wasn’t worth it. The humiliation hurt, but his reaction stung.

He reached over and stopped you. “Wait, wait, wait.”

“What now?” Your voice broke and your lip trembled. Not now, you thought. But now it was.

“Don’t cry.”

“I can’t help it.”

He hugged you to his chest. “I hate seeing you cry.”

His arms were tightly wrapped around you, a hand on the back of your head and the other on your upper back.

“You’re making me feel even more stupid,” you admitted through tears.

Dean sighed heavily. His hand twitched against your clothed skin as he tried to keep himself from rubbing his face. “You know, maybe you need a break.”

“Are you really trying to get rid of me already?”

He didn’t deny it. So you pushed him off you and stormed out. You couldn’t even get a fucking consolation hug.

════════════════════════

You liked to think you were doing a good job avoiding him. It wasn’t like he spent that much time at home either way.

Expecting him to care had been too much, it seemed. You hadn’t wanted him to beg, or even fantasized about him chasing after you — you just wanted him to care, to at least told you he would forget about it or pretend you hadn’t said anything.

Sam entered the library, feigning interest in the stack of books you had piled on the table two nights ago.

He stalled, opening the one on top as though he hadn’t seen it before.

You shuffled in your seat. Waiting for whatever he would say.

He cleared his throat so you’d look up. You did.

“Dean and I are going out for a drink or two. Want to come?”

“No, I’m gonna watch something on my laptop and go to bed early.”

Sam gave you a worried look. “Well, if you need anything...”

“Have fun.”

Maybe Dean had been right, maybe you needed a break, and maybe —just maybe— this wasn’t the place you were meant to be at.

But you wanted to be there, and you wanted him. It fucking sucked that you would never get what you wanted just because you weren’t thin.

Story of your life.

You stayed in the library longer than you planned and eventually your tv marathon was held there. You had everything you needed and the chairs were comfortable enough.

Your laptop rested on the other side of the table as you leaned onto said table with your forearms and laid your head on your arm.

A knock on the thick door startled you. Looking up, you found green eyes.

“Did I scare you?”

You pressed the space bar to pause your show. “I wasn’t expecting you guys to come back early.”

“Sammy left with somebody so he’s not coming home tonight.”

You hummed, unsure as to what you were supposed to say. Should you say that you were happy for Sam? Should you ask why he hadn’t left with somebody too?

Dean spoke before you could come up with something. “Can we, uh, talk?”

Seeing you nod, Dean approached the table. He didn’t sit down, forcing you to crane your neck.

“I’ll find somewhere else to live,” you assured him.

He frowned, looking down as he searched for your now shifty eyes. “You’re leaving?”

“Isn’t that what you wanted to talk about?”

“No.” He rubbed his palm against his forehead. “I don’t want things to be awkward between us.”

You twisted your mouth. “It’s a little late for that.”

He hurriedly said, “I don’t want you to leave. You’re part of the family.”

“I think I deserve space to move on.”

A groan slipped past his throat and lips, rumbling in his chest. He was growing desperate. “Look... I’m trying to be the responsible adult here because God knows you won’t be.”

“So now I’m an adult?”

“It was never my intention to treat you like a child. I just wanted to put some distance between us.”

“You could have said so.” You didn’t think you would need to state the obvious to somebody as smart as Dean.

“I didn’t want things to be weird or to give the impression that I could take advantage of you if you were too close. I would never do that.”

Not proud enough to pretend you knew what he was talking about, you admitted, “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”

“You’re pretty,” he blurted. “Really fucking pretty and interesting and so attractive that’s kinda unfair. And you’re also too young.”

“Dean.”

“Mmmh?”

“Kiss me.”

“Weren’t you listening to me?”

“Just kiss me,” you insisted. “We’ll forget about it if it doesn’t feel right.”

Dean took the chair beside yours out and pulled it to the side. His eyes didn’t meet yours as he leaned in, but they did when his nose brushed yours.

He softly placed his lips on top of yours. You saw his eyes screw shut before you closed yours. It was short and sweet, and when he parted from you, you feared you would have to go back to hide the way you felt about him.

Grabbing you by the waist, Dean made you stand up. He wrapped an arm around you while you rested your hands on his sides as a reflex.

He kissed you again, hard. So hard he unintentionally pushed you against the table. His tongue tasted of whiskey and those bacon-flavored chips you had never had the heart to tell him weren’t that good.

You brought a hand up to the back of his neck, kissing him deeply.

Dean took advantage of the fact that he had you trapped between the table and his body to caress yours. He started with your back and dragged his hands down to your ass.

His hands traveled to your torso, where he could surely feel your belly up, fingers toying with the hem of your black t-shirt.

You stopped his fingers from lifting your top and pulled away from the kiss. “Wait.”

“Having second thoughts?” he breathlessly asked.

“I’m not what you’re used to,” you explained through ragged breathing. “At all.”

”Really?”

You nodded, ashamed. One thing was him knowing how big you were and other was him seeing it for himself.

“Don’t take this the wrong way...”

“That’s a great way to let me know you’re about to insult me.” Fuck. You were getting defensive again — what a way to kill the mood.

“I’m not!” he defended himself. “I was going to point out that you’ve been around for a relatively short amount of time to know what I’m used to.”

“I’ve never seen you with a fat person before.”

“And I’ve never seen you with somebody older than you before.”

Was he playing dumb? “Of course you have.”

“Huh? When?”

“That guy in Texas was well in his thirties. And I dated somebody in their twenties when I was 16, I’m not too proud of that one, but—“

He interrupted you. “Nevermind. Shut up.” Dean kissed you again, bringing you flush against him.

You smiled against his mouth. “Is somebody jealous?”

“Maybe.”

“Good. Serves you right.”

“You’re evil.” He bit down your bottom lip and pulled on it.

“It’s just payback, I promise.”

Dean snorted. “Can’t say I don’t deserve it.”

You remained silent, allowing him to dissipate the tension. You would let him do whatever he wanted, regardless of the outcome, but you were too scared to say it.

You didn’t have to.

“Hey.” He cupped your face. “We don’t have to do anything you’re not comfortable with,” he assured you. His voice was uncharacteristically soft. “We can take our time.”

[mooniefics]

— first impressions

pairing : zeke jaeger / fem reader / reiner braun

word count : 7.5k

tags : sorta fluff (i can’t help myself i love reiner), eventual smut, threesome (f/m/m), situational humiliation, one night stand, spitroasting, drunk + unsafe sex

warnings : nsfw, mild sexual coercion

summary : a chance meeting between you and reiner leaves you enjoying an evening with the warriors upon their much anticipated return from the war. but doing your new friends a favor leads to a night you'll never forget.

— originally posted 12 / 22 / 20 on ao3 —

"reiner! is that really you?!"

you stood quickly from your place at the booth, unable to stop yourself from scrambling up to the small group of soldiers, who were all looking down at you with a mixture of confusion and amusment.

"you didn't tell us you had a girlfriend back home, braun." the dark-haired woman to his right teased, earning a crossed frown from your friend.

"not my girlfriend." he muttered, ignoring their chuckles as he turned his attention back to you, "i haven't changed that much in a few months, have i?"

you sighed, a relieved grin breaking out across your face as he opened his arms to you, gratefully accepting his invitation and squeezing him tight, face pressing into his shoulder. the scent of gunpowder that usually clung to him in his uniform was absent on his civilian clothes, replaced instead with the pleasant smell of fresh linen. "a few months? felt more like a whole year to me."

you stayed cognizant of the people behind him, now exchanging curious glances at the sight of their comrade's affection, the woman who'd initially teased him whispering something to the stern looking man by her side that made his expression crack into a small grin. he pulled away from you after a moment, a soft smile warming his usually sullen features, which dampened at a hand being placed on his shoulder.

"would you care to introduce us, reiner?" a low voice asked, the speaker stepping to reiner's side to get a good look at you.

you instantly recognized the man, face flushing with embarrassment as you scrambled to find your words. "c-captain jaeger! i apologize for interrupting your evening, p-please forgive-"

"nonsense." he said, holding out his hand for you to shake, "and no need for the formalities, feel free to call me zeke."

you clasped your hands gratefully around his, shaking vibrantly much to his amusement. you exchanged names with the remaining three, the tired looking but jovial woman, pieck, insisting that you join them on their night out. seeing as you had already planned to be at the old bar for the rest of the night by yourself, you had no qualms with inviting them all to fill the remaining seats of the booth you'd been occupying before they entered.

"pock here isn't much of a talker," she said after everyone got themselves situated, poking the cheek of the man she'd been whispering to earlier, "he's a little shy, but don't hold it against him."

"i thought i told you not to call me that.." he grumbled in reply, smacking away her hand and earning a small round of laughter from everyone at the table. the freshest face among them, colt, flagged down the barmaiden that was milling about the tavern floor, ordering a beer for everyone at the table with a kind smile.

"this'll be the only one for me tonight." you told him across the table after the woman had sauntered away, "i kinda didn't budget to be drinking more than one beer tonight anyways.."

"don't worry about it." you turned at reiner's voice beside you, gaze flitting down to see him thumbing through the bills in his wallet, "i'll pay for you tonight. my treat."

"nice to see that you know how to treat a lady." zeke quipped with a grin from his place on your left, earning another unreadable frown from reiner, but you could see the flush creeping up on his cheeks as a result of the implication.

before he could dismiss his friend, the barmaiden had returned, toting six mugs filled to the brim with beer on her serving platter. everyone murmured their thanks as she passed them around the table, her eyes lingered on colt before she slipped away to attend to another awaiting party.

"look at you, colt! haven't even been here for thirty minutes and you've already got the ladies swooning." pieck drawled, taking a long sip from her mug with a smile on her lips as she watched the young man stammer out an excuse.

you couldn't help but laugh along at the display, taking a generous drink of your own as you watched the conversation pick up around you. pieck seemed to be more than comfortable with everyone at the table, fueling the majority of the discussion with her playful words. porco, as she'd said, didn't seem to be much of a talker, but nodded along to what the others said, contributing a brief input when he saw fit and staying silent for the rest of the time. colt wasn't naive, but he was easy to tease, the perfect target for little jabs here and there from around the table that drew irritated, flustered protests from him and made everyone laugh.

the dynamic that had intrigued you the most was that between zeke and reiner. they didn't speak directly to the other often, mostly relaying remarks through their responses to the others, but when they did, there seemed to be an odd sort of tension between them. not exactly rivals, but not exactly friends either. they were on the same team, but there was a clear disconnect between them despite that. you felt every slight shift that reiner made when zeke addressed him, debating on whether you should request to move from your place between them for your sake or stay as a buffer for reiner's.

everyone was on their third glass—the only exception being reiner, who was nearly through his fourth—definitely loosened up though not quite drunk yet, but before you could put much thought into how you'd go about doing that, porco spoke to you for the first time. "so, how do you even know reiner?"

"oh! i'd also like to know too!" pieck piped up between sips, downing the rest of her mug in one go and resting her chin in her hands. everyone's attention had turned to you in an instant, intently waiting for your response, making your posture stiffen as you twisted your hands in your lap.

"well, it was a few years ago, when the war with the mid-east had just started ramping up." you began, tensing up the slightest bit when you felt your hand brush reiner's under the table, "i was working at the produce shop down on kaiser lane, and one day reiner came by with his mother on one of her grocery visits, she had always spoken to me about him when i was counting up her total. i asked her if this was son she was always talking about, and she said yes and introduced us. reiner looked tired," pieck giggled at that. "so i tried to hurry it up a little for his sake, and then she paid and they both went on their way. later that day i came here, and i saw him sitting alone at the counter, so i decided to sit down next to him and see if he could put up with my insufferable small talk for a little while. we ended up talking all night, and we've been great friends since then."

"well, isn't that the sweetest thing," pieck smiled warmly at you from across the table, balancing her head on one hand so could pensively drum her fingers across the wood, "if i didn't know any better, i'd say you two made a lovely couple!"

"pieck, would you stop bothering reiner." porco chided, waving a hand at your friend, "just look at him, he looks like he's one more girlfriend comment away from popping a blood vessel."

reiner grumbled out a low 'fuck you', gulping down the rest of his beer and flagging down the barmaiden as the rest of the warriors shared a hearty laugh at his expense. you yourself were similarly blushing at their constant assertions of something more between the two of you. it's not as if you hadn't mulled the idea over in your head many times before on all the previous outings you'd been on together, and the few times the two of you had gotten drunk enough to fool around a bit before one of you came to your senses and excused yourself for the night.

there were some days where you were glad you kept a modest distance between yourselves, and there were others where you wanted to do nothing more than throw all caution to the window and just enjoy one irresponsible night of doing whatever came to mind, no doubts or worries or responsibilities to get in the way, politics and the war be damned. you started to shake away those unnecessary thoughts, but zeke did a much better job of distracting you when his arm fell around your shoulders, giving you a friendly squeeze as he spoke.

"i see that even in good company, my colleagues' manners still aren't up to par," he said, directing his words at you but talking loud enough for anyone to hear, "allow me to apologize on their behalf."

"oh hush, zeke, you're the worst out of all of us!" pieck argued through her laughter, playfully kicking his shin under the table, "you're only playing nice because she's here."

her words didn't draw his attention away from your face, gleaming grey eyes intently drinking in the emotions passing over your flushed features. you laughed nervously, turning away to face the rest of the table, sneaking a glance at reiner as the barmaiden swept by to clean up the empty glasses and replace them with filled mugs. he had an irritated frown drawn across his lips, worry lines creasing his face as he gulped down half of his mug in seconds.

"look's like you're finally not the one overdoing it, huh colt?" you heard pieck whisper into the young man's ear, snickering at him when he turned away from her and huffed.

just glancing around at them all made you forget that everyone of them were living on borrowed time, that in less than a month they would most likely be shipped out on their next assignment to defend marley against any one of the neighboring nations that were just waiting to pounce at the slightest slip up. aside from reiner, they all seemed to be forgetting that fact as well in favor of just enjoying this night while it was still young.

another banter-filled hour passed, your table not noticing how the bar had been steadily emptying as closing time drew near. zeke had kept his grasp around you for the entire time, much to reiner's dismay, which was evident on his face each time you tried to coax him back into the conversation, always faltering each time zeke peered over you to repeat your question to him with a thinly veiled haughtiness. reiner had gone through more beer than anyone at the table, his flushed face and low-lidded gaze along with his slurring words letting you know just how drunk he'd really become. but aside from his borderline unpleasant exchanges with your friend, zeke was incredibly charismatic, almost overbearingly so, your own intoxication making it easy for you give in to his infectious energy and laugh along with him and everyone else at the table.

sure, you were worried about reiner, but he knew that you would always be friends at the end of the day, and you had to make a good impression on these newly introduced people who were so kind as to invite you in on one of their rare leisurely getaways from the military barracks. so you let yourself lean into zeke's side, relishing in the warmth that you'd been craving for so long—a warmth that the alcohol only made you want more and more—the break in your routine that you'd been searching for in an evening alone turning into a night that you were sure you wouldn't forget for a long time. they didn't even seem to care that you weren't an honorary marleyan, or even that you were a lowly blue-collar worker that made a measly sum at her meaningless job on a forgettable street corner.

but alas, the blissfully ignorant fun of the table's atmosphere was dampened by the arrival of the barmaiden with your table's tab, setting it down in front of colt with a coy smile as she gathered up the rest of your empty glasses and disappeared into the back of the tavern.

"aw colt, you never made your move!" pieck chided, giggling as she dug into the pocket of her skirt to reach for her wallet just as everyone else around the table was doing.

"reiner.. are you okay?" you gently nudged his arm, looking over with concern at the sight of him. his elbow was propped on the table, forehead resting in the heel of his palm as he stared down at his lap, mouth drawn into a slight frown.

"shit, he's loaded." porco commented snarkily.

"we can't let magath see him like this!" colt said nervously, looking around at his colleagues, waiting for one of them to come up with a plan to deal with this new issue.

you glanced from colt to reiner, then up at zeke, turning back to everyone as you made an offer. "well.. i have a guest room at my house, he could stay there for the night if it makes things any easier for you all."

"oh, you're an angel!" pieck sighed, reaching across the table and clasping your hands in hers, "and if the commander asks, i could say that he decided to stay with his family!!"

"sharp as always, pieck." zeke chimed from beside you, "though, i don't think it'd be fair to make her watch him all by herself, so i think it'd be best if i help her out with him for the evening, just to be sure he doesn't cause her any trouble."

he met eyes with pieck, and for a moment you thought you saw the briefest flash of realization cross her features, the slightest smirk perking up at her lips before her face relaxed back into its natural smile and she nodded at him. "great idea." she said, tugging at porco and colt's sleeves, "i'll deal with these two, and i'll tell the commander that you had a change of heart as well. reiner, hand me your wallet if you can't count the bills."

"i've got it." he grunted, fumbling with his wallet for a few moments before slamming a fistful of bills down in front of her.

"thank you very much!" she sang happily, getting all the money in order and putting her own small tip for the barmaiden before she slapped colt's arm a few times, prompting him to start scooting out of the booth.

zeke finally retracted his arm to begin leaving the booth, standing out on the floor and offering his hand out to you. you flushed, taking it and allowing him to help you to your feet. everyone got themselves situated, stepping out of the bar and saying their goodbyes, pieck, colt, and porco turning to make their way back to the barracks, zeke slinging reiner's arm over his shoulder and following you along as you gave directions on how to get to your home.

there wasn't many words exchanged between the three of you on your short walk, only having some small talk with zeke between the bouts of comfortable silence hanging around you in the warm night air. you arrived home within minutes, wrestling the key into the old lock and holding open the door for zeke to help reiner in.

"i can walk myself, jaeger." he muttered while kicking his shoes off, earning a low chuckle from the older man.

"then why aren't you doing it right now?"

he didn't get a response as you directed them to your bedroom, hoping to settle him down as soon as you could in the hopes of him being able to get enough rest to sleep off the worst parts of his hangover. while zeke assisted him, you scampered over to the guest bedroom to get it ready for your other, less intoxicated guest. but as you opened the door to the bedroom, you were mortified at the sight of your mess upon looking into the room. in the moment of wanting to do something nice for your friends, you'd completely forget about how you'd basically turned your spare room into more of a storage closet.

looking around to try and think about where to get started, hopefully make it look like you didn't completely neglect this room for the past few months before zeke finished putting his friend to bed, you felt a hand on your shoulder, stiffening in surprise as you slowly turned to look at him.

"i-i'm really sorry, i totally wasn't expecting guests tonight, and i promise i've been meaning to move everything to the basement-"

"don't worry about it, really." he stopped you before you could continue to profusely apologize, offering you another one of those warm smiles that made your knees feel weak, "let me help you, it's the least i could do after you opened your home to a couple of irresponsible soldiers." to your surprise, he brushed past you, picking up one of the many boxes that had accumulated on the bed and floor over the months. "you said you had a basement, right? would you mind showing me where it is exactly?"

unable to find your words, you pointed halfheartedly to the door at the end of the hall, watching him carry one of the few boxes that had left you panting by the time you'd transported them across the house with ease, not even having to set it down to open the door and begin descending the steps. his quick return up the steps finally spurred you into action, hauling another box into your arms and repeating his path of depositing it down in your basement and returning to your room to grab another, making sure to take it slow on your way down the steps from how heavy the alcohol made your limbs feel.

within a few minutes, you both had everything squared away. you let yourself take a seat on the now empty bed, breathing out a sigh of relief and wiping the sweat that had begun to bead around your forehead with the back of your hand, watching as he settled down next to you. "sheesh, you made all that heavy lifting look so easy! and thank you again, for doing such a generous favor for me."

"there's no need to thank me." he replied earnestly, a hand settling on your thigh, making you suppress a small flinch, "you have a lovely home, do you really live all on your own?"

you tried to laugh off the warmth of his hand on your skin through your long skirt. "y-yeah, it's just been me for a while. sometimes friends come over for the night, but for the most part, it's just me."

zeke hummed pensively, grey eyes shining with something dangerous as he gazed down at you. "makes sense that someone such as yourself hasn't found anybody qualified enough to settle down with," he grinned at your flustered expression, openly appreciating the way your eyes widened and you breathed out a soft, indecisive 'thank you', "though, i was so sure that you and reiner had something between you.."

"n-no! it's not like that." the words spilled out of your mouth before you could even think about them, the desire to answer him overriding any clear thought that might cut through your intoxicated embarrassment, "i'm sure s-soldiers such as him and yourself don't really have time to play around with people l-like me."

you mentally slapped yourself for coming to such a conclusion, let alone allowing it to actually exit your brain and be heard by the most esteemed guest you'd probably ever have the honor of hosting.

"oh?" he peered curiously at you, thumb rubbing a slow stroke over your leg, face seeming much closer than it was a few blinks ago, "and what exactly is that supposed to mean?" you knew just how intentional his word choice was, practically setting up a verbal trap for you to fall into, but how could you not take the bait when it was marley's strongest warrior dangling it before you?

"i-i-i'm sorry, s-sir— zeke!"

you scrambled to correct yourself, looking any place except his face and wanting to do nothing more than hide away somewhere where neither him nor reiner could find you to sober yourself up before you could humiliate yourself any further. but you felt the desperation that was now gripping your pounding heart start to squeeze like a vice around it when a rough hand found your chin, gently turning your head to face him again.

"again with the apologies.. what am i going to do with you?"

your bottom lip quivered, more frantic sorries threatening to spill out, but stopped by the lack of air that you were able to take in from his proximity. you hadn't even realized you were holding your breath until you felt a tight ache seize your chest, exhaling an alarmed breath as you stared up into the glinting grey irises studying your face, mirroring their actions at the tavern but containing all of the hunger he'd been hiding in front of his comrades. the hand of your thigh slid up your leg just an inch, zeke breathing out a chuckle at the feeling of you tensing under his touch.

"if you must know," his face was so close that you could even see the pale freckles dotting across his sharp cheekbones and the bridge of his nose, the shadowed contour of his face looking even deeper in the dim light of the guest room, parted lips exhaling a warm breath that fanned across your face, the scent of alcohol still evident as he slowly spoke, "a soldier such as myself can make plenty of time to play around with someone like you."

you couldn't barely contain your awe, drawing in another shaky, shallow breath at the feeling of his lips brushing across your own, just daring you to indulge in his offer. you could barely form a cohesive thought before your brain forced a new topic into your conscious, confusion and shock and abrupt desire drowning out all the rationality that you were so desperately grasping for in this moment.

you'd just met this man tonight, it didn't matter that you'd known of his grand legacy even from when you were a young girl or felt like you'd gotten to know him quite a bit in that short amount of time, you'd only shaken his hand and drank with him and sat face-to-face with him for the first time just a few hours ago. not to mention how the person you were truly familiar with, the one who wasn't nearly a decade your senior, the one you had really been yearning for was just down the hall in your bed, only two shut doors and a few thin walls away from this spectacle. but, zeke was right in front of you, and he was offering out an opportunity that was impossible to refuse—an offer that you really, really didn't want to refuse.

so you didn't. you gave in to the sinful temptation of his warmth, his skin, his soft touches with calloused, work-roughened hands, the knowledge that this kiss was only just the beginning of something unforgettable.

in contrast to his hands, his lips were soft, ridiculously soft as they pressed over yours, the fingers at your chin unfurling to cup the length of your jaw. you leaned into his touch, earning a pleased grunt from him when your trembling hand found his hair, slowly carding through it as you focused on maintaining the easy rhythm of his kiss. you stifled a small sound when the hand on your leg smoothed up to your inner thigh, not pressing any further, just gently stroking and giving the occasional squeeze to the pliant flesh through your skirt.

you could feel the light flutter in your chest heavy and knot into something familiar, twisting deep in your stomach as he sucked at your bottom lip, nipping at it before his attention wandered across your cheek, the hand at your jaw tilting your head up to expose more of your neck to his eager mouth. faint kisses gave way to teasing bites and licks, drawing a soft whimper as he sucked with the intent to bruise where your shoulder met your neck. he seemed to appreciate the way your grasp in his hair tightened, the hand on your thigh traveling across your waist to find the knotted string holding up your skirt.

the progression of his actions felt natural, but almost too fast at the same time, your hand giving an apprehensive tug to his hair when you felt the waistline of your skirt go slack with the undoing of its lacing. he groaned lowly at the sensation, spurring you to do it again when his teeth grazed over the forming redness just right. you could feel the haze of arousal fogged your mind already, all rationale dissipating under the influence of the alcohol and the hands that were now roaming your body, searching for a moment for the top button of your shirt before they began to messily undo those as well. each brush of his fingers across your bare skin sent goosebumps across the expanse of your chest, making quick work of your blouse as he pushed it over your shoulders, guiding your arms out of the sleeves before tossing it aside in favor of working on the clasp of your bra, never pulling away from his place at your neck for more than a moment before returning the bruising attention of his mouth back over the flushed skin.

you breathed out a weak whimper at the feeling of his thumb and forefinger taking one of your nipples between them, bra forgotten somewhere on the floor with your shirt, baring the entirety of your naked torso to him. he could feel how you squirmed when another hand smoothed down your stomach, slipping beneath your skirt's waistline and settling just between your legs, only a sheer barrier provided by your thin underwear, the arousal threatening to soak through the fabric leaving it clinging to every fold. he hummed appreciatively at the welcome surprise, drawing more stifled sounds out of you when his fingers slowly stroked over your clothed cunt.

"all this just for me?" he murmured lowly in your ear, thumb pressing down on your clit, rubbing slow circles over the sensitive nub.

his touch was electrifying, almost overwhelmingly good as you arched into it, the hand at your breast now groping at the supple flesh, palm offering a much-needed friction over your nipple. you finally registered his teasing question, barely managing a disoriented 'mhm' and a small nod, unable to think of anything else besides your heartbeat pounding loud enough that you though he might be able to hear, and the fingers prodded at you and teasing your body as they pleased.

your half-lidded gaze drifted to the door, blinking away the fogginess when you realized it wasn't actually properly shut. you opened your mouth to try and murmur out your observation, but the words in your head spilled out as an incoherent moan, feeling his mouth detach from your bruised neck before he urged you down onto the mattress. but the sight of him standing above you, tugging off his shirt and revealing the impressively toned physique of his stomach and chest, made you forget the ajar door behind him entirely. your hands moved without a second thought, pushing your skirt and underwear down your legs as far as you could, kicking them the rest of the way off as he began to unbuckle his belt.

you couldn't help the way your eyes widened when he shoved down his pants and underwear in one go, unable to choose between focusing your gaze on the smug smirk drawing across his lips or his achingly hard cock, already looking like more than you could handle even at a distance. he plucked his glasses off his face, setting them on the bedside table before he moved over you in bed, your hands tugging him down into a kiss and earning a low chuckle against your lips.

"eager little thing, aren't you?" he only pulled away for a moment to speak, knuckles dragging down the swell of your breast and curving down your waist. your legs spread in anticipation, back arching off the bed when his fingers finally trailed down between your thighs to smooth a finger down your pussy. "and so, so wet."

you squeaked at the intrusion of two thick fingers pumping into you, sliding in easily with a soft, wet sound. the rhythm of your lips faltered, whimpering as his tongue slid between your teeth, tangling with yours, mouth greedily swallowing every desperate sound you made for him. you were grateful for how he was muffling you, just barely remembering that there was another presence in your house besides you and zeke that you had to worry about, heat sparking up your spine at the feeling of his fingers curling just right inside you.

the thought of reiner finding you in here with the captain of his squad, so pathetically obedient and practically dripping from just his fingers, was horrifying and unnervingly thrilling all at once. would he be angry with you? why would he be? what did he even consider you as?

you couldn't dwell on that thought for too long, hips bucking and toes curling when his thumb rubbed firm circles over your clit, wordlessly begging for more. he seemed to be just as impatient as you were in the face of your desperation, pulling away from your lips and removing his touch from between your legs, rolling himself onto his back and tugging you on top of him in one swift motion. you flush even deeper as you watched him drink in the sight of your naked figure, large hands finding your hips, pupils blown wide enough to nearly swallow up the silvery grey of his irises as he eased you down so his cock was just at your aching cunt, offering a sliver of mercy by allowing you to seat yourself onto him as fast or slow as you'd like.

just the first few inches had you whimpering, hands settling on his chest to steady yourself, teeth worrying the skin of your bottom lip, trying to contain the borderline humiliating sounds that were making him grin so smugly up at you. you could feel tears pricking your eyes by the time you finally sank all the way down, deep, shaky breaths giving away your lack of composure even more so than the way the thighs on either side of him tremble, or the nails now digging into the toned muscles of his shoulders. he gave you just a moment of respite, letting you get used to the feeling of something so big before his grip on your hips fastened, fingers sinking into the soft flesh as he began to guide you up and down on his cock.

the low groan your motion earned from him was enough to make your already pounding heart race even faster, heat echoing through you in a way that made it impossible to silence the heated whines that were spilling out of you. the bed squeaked in protest beneath you, but you could care less as you quickened the pace he'd started you at all on your own, admiring the flush that had darkened over his handsome features and the parted lips breathing out low curses and appraising groans.

his eyes fell shut, head falling back before he forced it back up, gaze wandering across your face, then your body, then flitting elsewhere for the briefest moment before they returned to you, hips now thrusting up with even more vigor to meet your own. you moaned openly, struggling out a meaningless string of pleas, the ache beginning to burn in your legs drowned out when he reached out to rub tight, fast circles around your clit. he was grinning now, licking his lips before he spoke in a knowing slur, "you're gonna cum soon, aren't you?"

"yes, f-fuck yes..!" it took you a moment to find your words, embarrassed by how fast he'd managed to work you up to this point but unable to be dishonest in your current position.

his motions didn't falter in the slightest, only seeming to grow more and more urgent as you quivered and whined, bouncing yourself up and down on his cock like it was the last time you'll ever get the chance to do it. and while that's likely the case, you don't care to think about it, too wrapped up in the way you could feel that pressure that had been welling in your stomach finally reach a breaking point, stammered curses devolving into breathless cries as you came hard around him.

you could feel the movement of his hips slow significantly, still rocking up into you to let you ride out your high but not nearly enough for him to push himself over the edge along with you. but you're grateful for his mercy, knowing that if he'd continued at the pace he was going you probably wouldn't be able to walk the next morning. so you took it as a testament to his goodwill, falling forward onto his chest in a whimpering heap, trying to steady your breathing and calm your heart rate, remaining seated on his still hard cock.

you felt a strong arm wrap around your waist, the other resting across your shoulder so he could settle his hand on the back of your head, fingers working their way into your hair and gently carding through it. the attention was comforting, unexpected but definitely comforting as you pressed your face into the crook of his neck, still too hazy off of your post-orgasm bliss to have any shame about wanting to be close to his warmth. you didn't think about whether he was expecting you to get him off at some point, or if he was just content letting you rest on top of him like this, but you soon found that he had a much different answer—or rather, a question—that didn't at all take you into consideration.

"so, reiner, are you just going to stand there and watch all night?"

there was confusion for a brief moment, then a horrifying realization that made an ice-cold fear prick under your spine, blood draining from your face as you felt the fine hairs on the back of your neck raise, completely frozen at the knowledge that the worst of the night you had imagined had come true. zeke's hand didn't stop its slow petting across your head, arm fastening around your body, seemingly in preparation for you to start squirming or fighting to get away. but you couldn't move an inch, not even enough to turn your head and risk a glance at your friend who was apparently right at the door.

"well?" his voice rumbled low in his chest once more, dripping with arrogance, entirely absent of any shame, just tempting him to step past the unseen boundary that had kept him there for however long he'd been watching, "i know, i know, you haven't your fair share all night. it's just so, sohard to let go once you finally get your hands on her. you should know all about that feeling, right?"

"fuck you."

you felt a warm curl in your stomach at the sound of his voice, breathing short and fast as your heart skipped anxiously, but mentally almost enjoying the fact that he was feeling something for you, even if it was some sort of possessive envy. the sound of his heavy, uneven footsteps making their way towards the bed.

he clearly still sounded drunk—who wouldn't be after so many beers in one sitting—and that was probably why he didn't hesitate at all to start tugging his clothes off, the ruffle of fabric and clinking metal of a belt being unbuckled finally snapping out of your compliant state, shaky arms trying to push yourself in bed. zeke allowed you to sit up, hands dropping to your thighs as your foggy gaze wandered from his face over to reiner at the bedside, heartbeat nearly drowning out the other sounds in the room as it drummed loudly in your ears.

"you don't mind, do you?" zeke called your attention back to him, gently stroking up and down your thigh just as he had been when you'd first accepted his offer.

your mouth had gone dry, leaving you struggling to get enough saliva back for your tongue not to stick to the roof of your mouth, feeling the heat of arousal flickering back to life when his cock twitched inside of you. did you mind? well you definitely minded the humiliation, the anxiety taut within your chest that made each breath an effort, the fact that you had no idea what was going on or would happen next. but did you mind enough to force yourself off of him, to struggle to collect your clothes from the ground and stagger out of the room with shaky legs that you weren't sure were capable of doing even that right now? did you really want this?

but it seemed that the choice had already been made in both of their minds, your answer—or lack thereof— speaking for your choice in the matter as zeke's hands lifted you up off of his lap, enough for him to slip out from under you. the sudden emptiness after being so full made you whimper, falling back down onto your calves in the middle of the bed and staring down at zeke's cock, slick with your arousal and still aching to be tended to.

the sinking weight of reiner clambering onto the bed behind you made you exhale a shaky breath, still in disbelief as his hand settled on your cheek, turning your head to face over his shoulder to press his lips onto yours. his kiss was messy but familiar, his low moan making you shiver alongside the feeling of zeke's stare wandering across the display before him. your exchange didn't last long before he pulled away, gazing at you with an unreadable look in his golden eyes for a moment, hand moving to the back of your head to push you down onto your hands and knees.

you obediently complied, met with the sight of zeke's cock once more, peering up to meet his gaze, features showing a mixture of eager expectancy and relaxed pride, just knowing that you were willing to do whatever he asked of you. and he relished in the changes your expressions went through in the next few seconds, the way your eyes widened when reiner's hands grasped your soft hips, how you swallowed thickly to try and get enough saliva down your tongue to get your mouth ready, and finally your mouth falling open and face twisting when reiner eased himself entirely into you in one solid thrust, finding little resistance from how soaked you were. you whimpered out a shaky curse, fists bunching up the sheets under you as he picked up a steady rhythm from behind you, zeke's fingers tangling into your hair and guiding onto your parted lips onto his awaiting cock.

he groaned out at the wet heat of your mouth engulfing him, tongue laving up over the underside of his length as you did your best to take as much of him in as possible without gagging. you wanted to be ashamed of how much you were enjoying the feeling of being entirely overwhelming, fuller than you'd ever felt in your entire life, but you'd be lying to yourself if you said that you'd made a mistake by giving in to the lustful temptations. you could feel your eyes water as zeke hit the back of your throat, your teary gaze and muffled moans against him only seeming to enthrall him further. reiner's hands felt up your waist, one reaching down your front to pinch and roll a nipple between his fingers, driving more stifled sounds and shaky breaths through your nose out of you.

you felt yourself squeezing around his cock, earning yourself a few low, muttered curses as he began to pound even faster into you, evidently approaching his limit just as fast as you are. the hand in your hair was guiding you up and down on the cock in your mouth, the tip of your nose just brushing zeke's stomach each time you surged forward with the momentum of the thrusts from behind you. it was all far too much in the best way possible, vision going hazy at the edges from the lack of proper air you could get into your lungs, insides aching from overusing alongside the tight knotting deep in your gut that was threatening to send you over the edge.

it was zeke that came first, heat pooling over your tongue and spilling down your throat, nearly too much for you to swallow as you tried not to choke. but he kept himself in your mouth and his hand firmly grasping your hair, if not to feel the hum of your desperate whines across your skin then to admire your pathetic expression, half-lidded eyes barely able to hold themselves open enough to stare back at him as you came hard for the second time that night. you could hear reiner give a generous groan of your name, thrusting as deep as he could go just a few times more, having enough sense to not cum inside you, pulling out and making a sticky mess of your trembling thighs.

only after you'd blinked away the glossiness in your eyes did zeke pull himself out of your mouth with a wet pop, holding your head up to appreciate the way your mouth still hung open to gasp in much needed gulps of air, tears and saliva dripping down your chin, halfhearted whimpers still escaping you as you trembled.

"you have good taste, reiner." zeke said, releasing your hair and letting you rest your cheek down against the mattress under you, grabbing his glasses off the side table and putting them back onto his face.

you watched as he stepped off the bed, picking out his clothes from the messy array of garments strewn about on the floor and tugging them on. he fished a handkerchief out of the the pocket of his pants, tossing it at reiner's side and glancing over your body, offering you a lazy smile when he caught your gaze.

"clean her up," he instructed, reaching out to give one last soft touch down your back, "and don't give her anymore trouble, alright? i expect to see you bright and early tomorrow."

you assumed that reiner nodded, since zeke turned without another word and exited the bedroom, making sure to shut the door behind him. for a moment, there was uneasy silence, only occupied by your breaths and the faint sound of zeke pulling on his boots somewhere in the living room and leaving out the front door. you gave a low hiss at the feeling of the fabric smoothing down the backs of your thighs, skin far too sensitive for your liking and legs aching uncomfortably.

you lifted your head up enough to wipe your chin with the back of your hand, eyes and limbs heavy with the desire to sleep. there were no words exchanged as he helped you move to lay down on your back, his face just as tired as he'd looked at the bar, but there was something else weighing down his expression as you took his face in your hands, staring up at him with a soft look of concern.

and though he still said nothing, he kissed you, so much gentler than he'd ever kissed you, with a tenderness that made you want savor this brief moment for as long as you could. but he eventually pulled away, and the brief worry that he might leave just as his captain had minutes before, but he rested down beside you with a low sigh. he didn't protest when you curled into the warmth of his body, head finding a comfortable place on his chest, not even bothering to try and venture out onto the floor to turn off the lamp before you settled down and let your eyes fall shut.

it was easy to fall asleep after he wrapped his arms around you, firm chest rising and falling with steady breaths, heart slow in your ear. you didn't think about the fact that you'd probably wake up alone in the morning, or that walking properly would be a monumental task on its own without even considering going to work to stay on your feet for the entire day—just appreciated this night while he couldn't slip away from you like all the other times before.

[luxekook]

chapter five.

⇥ pairing: ot7 x reader

⇥ genre: college au with fluff, smut & angst

⇥ summary: a series in which the reader meets (and falls for) seven members of the Beta Tau Sigma (BTS) fraternity

⇥ word count: 3.9k

⇥ warnings: 18+, cursing, general chaotic energy, poly relationships, switch!reader and sub!jk, nipple piercings, taehyung being a brat, mentions of violence, light construction site smut (hehe), annoying texts from seokjin

© luxekook. please do not repost, modify, edit or translate.

characters | prologue | one | two | three | four | five | six | seven | eight | nine

Chapter Five

Taehyung’s Room, BTS House - 11:57pm

“Well, shit, JK. Looks like the party started without us.”

An hour ago, I would have shoved Jimin off of me and shimmied out of Yoongi’s hold. But, now? I definitely am in too deep to back down from Taehyung.

“Hmm,” I make a show of pushing my hips slightly against Yoongi’s as I turn to face Taehyung and Jungkook more fully, “Yes, it did. And you know why? Because you weren’t invited.”

Yoongi chuckles into my neck as my words detonate and land on Taehyung, who gapes in disbelief. “Don’t piss her off, Tae," I feel Yoongi's grin against my neck before he places a quick kiss behind my ear.

“Yeah, Tae,” I taunt, “Don’t piss me off.”

“We leave for ten minutes. Ten! And she’s already got you like this?” Taehyung stomps over to his bed and sits in a huff, "Can I at least get a kiss, too?”

"Oh, I don't think so," I purr, "You see, only good boys get kisses." Turning to Jungkook, I smile wickedly when I'm met with the cutest wide-eyed stare complete with bottom lip sucked behind his two front teeth.

"Jungkookie," I shake Jimin and Yoongi off me and slowly turn to face the youngest, "Have you been a good boy?"

He nods frantically and gulps when my hand slips up his black t-shirt. "I'm so happy to hear that."

"D-do I get a kiss, noona?" He asks in the tiniest voice imaginable.

"Oh, this is ridiculous!" Kim Taehyung rages from his four-poster bed, "Jungkook was just thirsting over you in the hallway!"

"Shut the fuck up, Kim," Jungkook growls, muscles bunching under my touch. I bite back a grin over how the boy’s duality really jumps out when he’s provoked.

"Hmm, is that so, Kookie?" My hand glides into his hair at the nape of his neck to pull his gaze back to mine, "Tell me what you said, and I might still let you have a kiss."

"What?" Taehyung cries.

"At this rate, she's not going to touch Taehyungie for 84 years." I hear Hoseok say, snickering. Seokjin's squeaky laughter and Jimin's high-pitched giggles ensue. I’m also almost certain I hear Yoongi let out a low chuckle.

"Tell me," I order Jungkook, who immediately caves like a house of cards during an earthquake.

"I j-just said that you were cute-”

"Bullshit!"

Jungkook shoots a livid glare over my shoulder at the blue-haired boy, "And, I said that I wanted to p-play with your nipple piercings… That I bet they make you look even prettier, noona. I'm sorry."

"Oh, baby," I say, stroking his reddened cheeks, "You know what? I think I just might let you."

"Really?" Jungkook looks like his birthday had arrived early.

"Really!?" Taehyung sounds like his birthday had been cancelled indefinitely.

"Really," I confirm, whipping off my hoodie. The various curses and groans reach my ears as I toss the hoodie right at Taehyung's slack-jawed face.

"Fuck, baby,” Seokjin hisses a breath through his teeth, "You weren't wearing a bra this whole time?"

"Huh?" I glance down only to be greeted by my bare skin, "Oh, shit."

"You came here. To this house. Without a bra?" A commanding voice sounds from the doorway, "Oh, babygirl, that's a dangerous move."

I face Namjoon, with my hands on my hips, nipples shamelessly pointed straight at him, "Dangerous? For me or for you?"

He cracks a slow smile, "Both." God, he looks to die for tonight - black cargo-pants, tight black t-shirt, black boots. My eyes latch onto the silver chain clasped around his neck and wonder if he’d let me pull him closer with it.

An impatient hand tugs on mine. "N-noona, will you still let me touch you?" Jungkook diverts my attention from the depths of Namjoon's dark eyes.

"Of course, Kookie," I link my fingers through his and turn to address the problematic king on the bed, "Taehyung, move over."

A flicker of hope sparks in Tae’s eyes as he immediately shifts to make room. I make my way over to the bed, dragging Jungkook with me.

"Jungkook, sit with your back against the headboard," I turn to Taehyung, "You, no touching."

"But-!"

"You're lucky I'm even letting you stay," I shoot him a glance, inwardly cursing at how tempting he looks sprawled out and gazing hungrily at me. Why did he have to be so insufferable?

Shifting to look at the boy practically bouncing on the bed with anticipation, I smile, "Can I sit on your lap, Jungkook?”

"Fuck yes," he breathes out, tongue darting to wet his lower lip.

A completely diabolical and sadistic idea pops into my brain. I slowly walk to the foot of the bed. The room quiets as I lean forward and climb on the bed. On all fours, I slowly crawl towards Jungkook, holding eye-contact.

He swallows hard, eyes darting every so often to my chest. Finally, I settle onto his lap and smile victoriously at the thick bulge I feel there.

“So unfair," Jungkook sighs, tilting his head back with his eyes squeezed shut, "You make me so hard, (y/n)-noona.”

“Yeah, I noticed,” the corners of my mouth quirk into a small smile, “Now, do you want to play with me? Or should I ask someone else?"

Jungkook’s mouth latches onto my left nipple and sucks. His hand moves up my back and then eases around my body to cup my other breast in his hold. I jolt as he pinches my nipple without warning, a surge of pleasure swells from deep within me.

“Mmm, Jungkook,” I hum and grind my hips down onto his, craving more friction. His tongue swirls around my piercing, and my breath catches.

"Fuck," I hear one of the boys choke out.

My eyes shoot open in search of the source and widen once I find it. Namjoon’s head is thrown back as Jimin kisses and sucks on his neck. Namjoon’s eyes remain heatedly on me as he murmurs, “Such a good boy.” Jimin and I both shiver as Namjoon’s words drip like honey off his tongue.

“Now, Jiminie,” Namjoon latches a hand through Jimin’s pink hair and tugs him away from his neck. The younger boy pouts. Namjoon ignores him, continuing, “Why don’t we show (y/n) how Kook likes to be kissed?”

At the mention of his name, Jungkook ceases his worshipping and whines, “Hyung, that’s not fair!”

“Not fair?” Taehyung’s indignant cry is immediate, “You just had (y/n)’s nipple in your mouth,  and you think this is unfair?” I look over at the irate boy, who looks thoroughly wrecked despite not having even been touched. His light blue hair is a mess, red bandana long since removed. One ring-adorned hand is pressed solidly over the bulge in his jeans. The other is thrashing wildly in the air as he articulates his point.

“Taehyung,” Namjoon growls, “Enough.”

Taehyung wisely shuts up.

A timid knock breaks the tense silence. “Hey, Pres?” A hesitant voice calls through the solid wood, “We have a situation downstairs.”

“God-fucking-damnit,” Namjoon curses and turns to me, "(y/n), baby, I have to go deal with this."

I shrug and reach for my discarded sweatshirt next to Taehyung, "I should get going anyway. My friends are probably waiting for me."

"But Noona!" Jungkook's grip tightens on my hips as I tug on my top, "When will we get to see you again?"

"Jungkook, honey, this campus is only so big. Besides, you all have my SnapChat." I cock my head, "How did you get that by the way?"

"Well, would you look at the time!" Jin lurches to his feet, "I need to go get ready for bed."

“Kim Seokjin, I swear to god," I shimmy off of a pouting Jungkook, "If you step one toe out that door, I will burn your plushie collection."

"Yah," he exclaims, "How do you know that I even have plushies?"

I shoot him a deadpan expression and point to one of the many pictures of Seokjin on Tae's walls. This particular Polaroid displays a sleeping Jin amongst a plethora of plushies that all seem to be the same alpaca of some sort.

"Taehyungie, you little shit!” Jin sprints to the photo and tears it from the wall. Shoving the picture in the culprit's face, Jin rants, "When did you take this? Why did you take this?"

"Last week," Tae answers and shrugs, looking thoroughly unapologetic, "I thought you looked cute."

Jin huffs, "Well, that's a given.” He turns to me, “Please leave my babies out of this.”

“Don't worry, big boy," I grin up at his handsome face, "I'll just think of something else… something much, much worse."

He purses his full lips in a mock-pout. I melt. "Aw, you're so cute." I reach up and squish his cheeks together.

"Don't fall for it, (y/n)!" Hoseok yells, spurring yet another argument amongst the boys.

“Honestly,” I shake my head in bewilderment, “How do y’all even successfully date?”

“I ask myself that every damn day,” Min Yoongi smiles up at me from the floor.

Before I can respond, another knock sounds at the door. “Come on, baby,” Namjoon reaches a hand out towards me, “I’ll walk you down.”

I accept his hand and stare as it completely envelops my own. Namjoon sees my attention and gives my hand a quick squeeze.

“Alright,” I call over my shoulder to the rest of the group, “I’ll see y’all around, I guess?”

I’m faced with six grown-ass babies with varying degrees of puppy-dog eyes.

“Remember to think about what we said, noona!” Jimin begs, “Consider going out with us, okay?”

“I’m not likely going to forget that seven dudes asked me to date them,” I smile wickedly, “That only happens to me occasionally.”

With that, I walk out the door with Namjoon and revel in the chaos I left behind me.

“Occasionally?” Hoseok cries.

“I’m going to do some recon. These rivals must be eliminated.” Yoongi seethes.

“Noona wouldn’t pick another group over us, right?” Jungkook pauses, “Oh my god, she would.”

Namjoon slams the door behind us and laughs, “You’re such an instigator.”

“You right,” I nod.

Namjoon and I trail down the hallway after the jittery pledge who had interrupted us. Descending the staircase, I survey the crowd below and fail to notice anything that would qualify as a ‘situation’.

Namjoon seems to agree. “Eric, if you dragged me down here for no reason, getting an infraction will be the least of your worries…”

Eric the pledge gulps, “Pres, I swear, they’re outside.” His gaze shifts to me for a split second before returning to Namjoon, “They said they aren’t leaving until they speak to one of you. Alone.”

I huff, “I can take a hint, Eric. This is obviously ‘frat business’ or whatever.” Namjoon hides a smile behind his hand at my use of air quotes, and I do not appreciate him finding my annoyance humorous. I shoot him a murderous stare before locating Luna and Jenni from across the room.

“Bye, Joon,” I salute him and turn to head towards my friends. I barely make it one step before his hand catches my wrist.

His mouth brushes my ear as he says softly, “I’ll see you tomorrow, baby.” He gives my hand a squeeze and then disappears into the crowd with Eric.

Goddamnit. I had forgotten about volunteering. These boys are slowly but surely infiltrating my life, and I’m not at all sure on how I feel about it. My feet drag across the room until I reach my friends.

“Ready to go?” Luna questions, linking her arm through mine.

“Ready to be interrogated?” Jenni smiles evilly, assessing the mess that I am.

“Yes and no,” I groan, pulling them both outside. Starting our trek home, I field questions from both my friends. Somewhere far behind us, a girl shrieks something about being lettered, and I thank the stars that someone else has drama besides me…

(Y/n) & Luna’s Apartment – 8:45am

The infuriating sound of my phone vibrating with a number of incoming texts jolts me awake. Who the fuck dares to wake me up before my alarm? I grab my phone from its resting position on my nearby nightstand and almost fall out of my bed in the process.

“I’ll kill him,” I mutter darkly as I read the name displayed across my screen. It radiates an offensive mix of terrible grammar and narcissism.  

Worldwide Handsome 3 New Messages

“This better be fucking good.” My fingers angrily swipe at the notification, opening the messages. I knew exactly who these messages were from. When did that bastard even get to my phone and add his contact information? How did he bypass my password? What kind of sorcery?

Worldwide Handsome 8:45am: “You up, beautiful?” 8:45am: “We’re picking you up in 20!!” 8:46am: “Wear something cute!!!! ;)”

(Y/N) 8:46am: “…Did you say WE???” 8:46am: Also, when and how the fuckity fuck did you get into my phone?” 8:47am: “ACTUALLY, NO – HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY ADDRESS?”

Worldwide Handsome 8:47am: “A magician never reveals his secrets.”

(Y/N) 8:48am: “You are NOT a magician, you dweeb.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:48am: “Abracadabra, bish.”

(Y/N) 8:49am: “I can’t stand you.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:50am: “15 minutes!!!”

(Y/N) 8:50am: “15 minutes until I strangle you with my bare hands!!!”

Worldwide Handsome 8:53am: “Strangle? Sounds kinky… I’m into it.” 8:55am: “I’m bringing you coffee. What kind do you want?”

(Y/N) 8:55am: “Did I say strangle? I meant *hug you tightly and shower you with praise*!!!” 8:56am: “The largest size possible, please! Black.” 8:56am: “I’ll pay you back.”

Worldwide Handsome 8:56am: “That’s more like it!!” 8:56am: “And don’t even think about it… Papa Seokjin provides all.” 8:57am: “See you in 10.”

Egad! I spring out of bed and get dressed at the speed of light, grabbing the nearest t-shirt and pair of jeans. Shoving my feet into my trusty work-boots, I stumble into the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

‘Man, I look rough today’ is the first thought that pops into my brain as I look in the mirror; but I quickly correct that bad thought with: ‘Bitch, you look fine. Stop hating.’

Ever since I learned about cognitive restructuring in my Behavioral Psychology class, I have been attempting to practice it in my own life. The process of challenging my negative thoughts has been so fucking hard, but it’s definitely helped my self-esteem and stress.

Throwing my hair into a messy bun, I hear my phone buzz. Shit, that must be Seokjin. Who even knew why that fucker had decided to come along to volunteering with Namjoon and me. I wasn’t going to turn down an extra set of hands though… For volunteering purposes, of course.

Six subsequent buzzes demand my attention.

Worldwide Handsome 9:08am: “We’re here.” 9:09am: “Get your sweet ass out here.” 9:09am: “You better not have fallen back asleep…” 9:09am: “Don’t make me come in there!” 9:10am: “If you aren’t down here in 30 seconds, I’m drinking your coffee.” 9:10am: “(Y/N).” 9:10am: “THAT’S IT. SAY GOODBYE TO YOUR COFFEE.”

That last text has my ass in high gear as I book it down the steps and out the front door. Barely remembering to lock it behind me, I come to an abrupt halt as I come face to face with an all-too-put-together-for-9am Seokjin.

He leans against Namjoon’s infuriatingly gorgeous black Tesla looking like he’s about to shoot a cover for Men’s Health – Construction Edition. My eyes narrow in on the large coffee cup in his hand and narrow further when he slowly brings it up to his full lips.

“I wouldn’t do that,” I warn.

He sips it.

“You’ve just declared war,” I announce and stride over to him. Attempting to pull the coffee out of his palm and failing, I decide to take drastic measures.

Slowly rising to my toes, I act as if I’m going to kiss his cheek; but at the last second, I turn and bite his earlobe.

“What the fuck!” Seokjin yells way too loudly for the peaceful early morning. Victoriously, I grab my coffee, back away from him, and take a giant sip. 

Yes, that sweet, sweet caffeine…

Seokjin rubs his ear and laughs slightly, “Babe, you’re really fucking scary before coffee.”

I nod in affirmation.

“Come on,” he gestures to his car and opens the passenger door for me, “Namjoon will have my ass on a platter if I take too much of your attention, and I know you’ll be heartbroken by the loss of such perfection.”

“You’re insufferable,” I reply, fighting a smile and losing.

“I know,” he grins and leans over the open car-door between us to kiss me. “Morning,” he murmurs in greeting against my lips.

I smile and kiss him again in reply. And then I remember my coffee.

Seokjin pouts at the loss of my lips as I take a cherished sip of the best part of my morning.

As I slide into the front seat, I hear him muttering about how he never should have bought that coffee. Grinning to myself, I buckle my seatbelt and look around the Tesla. Namjoon smiles at me from the driver’s seat, and I automatically swoon under the power of his dimples.

“Buckled?” he asks, as he adjusts the mirrors and flicks on the Bluetooth radio. The distinct sound of Kendrick Lamar fills the air. I nod and watch as he puts the car in drive, his muscles flexing.

His right hand extends across the console to rest on my left thigh and gives it a quick squeeze. I’m thoroughly distracted as I fixate on the hand that has now taken up residence on my leg.

“Hi, noona!” A chorus of two cries from the backseat. My body jolts.

“Ah! Stop, I could’ve dropped my coffee!” I steady my drink before turning to investigate the backseat that I had mistakenly (READ: tragically) thought would be empty. Taehyung and Jimin grin back at me from the seats beside Jin.

“Well, why didn’t you just bring everyone,” I drawl, raising an eyebrow at Namjoon, who just sighs in defeat.

“I mean… I kind of did,” he aims a glare through the rearview mirror, “I’m taking these losers, and Jungkook, Hobi and Yoongi are meeting us there. They refused to miss spending ‘quality time’ with you.”

“I’m going to kill someone,” I mutter under my breath, “Probably Taehyung.”

“At least wait until we exit the vehicle, please,” Namjoon chuckles, “I just got new seats.”

Habitat Worksite – 9:25am

When we finally arrive at the worksite, we step out of the car and head over to where Eddie is currently handing out tasks to different volunteers. I smile at a few familiar faces I see as we draw closer.

“(Y/n)-doll!” Eddie booms and walks over to greet us, “Came here with this one, did ya? And who are these boys?” He gestures towards my harem.

“Yes, sir,” Namjoon grins, quite unbothered by Eddie’s papa bear act, “A couple that carpools together stays together. Go green!”

I shake my head at his idiocy as Eddie splutters to come up with a response. “Don’t listen to him, Eddie. He’s full of shit. We are all just friends. Now, what can we help with today?”

“Yes,” Eddie clears his throat, shooting Namjoon dark look, “(y/n), I need you out front to help me orient a group of volunteers scheduled for one of those work retreat days…”

Fuck. The last group that I helped orient was a nightmare. They were supposedly here for a day of service and team-building, but all they did was fuck around and fuck up the siding. The men in the group refused to listen to my instructions on how to properly do things.

According to their mouthy ringleader, the fact that I had a pair of tits and a vagina made me incapable of knowing the tiniest bit of information about construction, whereas their dicks apparently came with an encyclopedia of knowledge on the subject.

I had almost decked him in the face, but I settled for placing a nice call to his place of employment later that day with an unsavory report on his behavior.

Eddie notices my glowering face and quickly looks away, “Namjoon, I need you to help out Matt and Paul inside to mix and pour some cement. The rest of you can follow me.”

The boys all give varying answers of agreement.

“Grab some gloves and glasses, you two. (Y/n), meet me back out front. Namjoon, Matt and Paul are already inside. They’ll show you the ropes.”

With that, Eddie beelines away from us before I can protest my assigned role. Seokjin, Jimin and Taehyung trail sadly behind him, shooting jealous glances over their shoulders at Namjoon.

Namjoon ignores them and eyes my homicidal expression. He cautiously asks, “What’s wrong?”

“The goddamn patriarchy is what’s wrong, Kim,” I grit out through my clenched teeth and stalk towards the supply trailer.

“Well, I can’t argue with that,” he trails after me, “My mom says that toxic masculinity always ruins the party.”

“God, I love her,” My mood elevates instantly, “Please marry me so I can be her daughter-in-law.”

He laughs, looking through the bin of gloves for a pair large enough for him while handing me a smaller pair. “Where’s my ring?”

“You already have like seven rings. Pull an Ariana and give some away,” I hand him a pair of protective glasses, keeping one for myself. “Anyway, please don’t forget that you’re my ride and leave without me.”

“Forget? Babe, you’ve taken up permanent residence in my mind since Tae pointed you out last semester.”

“Oh, stop,” I dismiss him, waving the pair of gloves in his direction.

He suddenly steps into me. The my small of my back hits the edge of the makeshift work desk latched to the trailer wall. “You know, I’ve noticed you really don’t take some of our compliments seriously...” He looms over me, lips pressed to my throat, “I guess I'm gonna have to change that.”

Namjoon scoops me off the floor by my waist and balances my ass on the edge of the desk. My arms circle his shoulders on instinct and his grip tightens on my hips. When he glances down at me, he lets out a rough breath which sounds like I’m torturing him.

He kisses me, his tongue playing with mine, twining around it, enticing mine to follow. Gravity tries to drag me down off the desk and our mouths separate. Namjoon hoists me up higher with a firm hand on the back of my thigh.

His mouth slams back over mine, and I swear the way he kisses can be felt all the way down to my bones. His wide palm curves around my waist, pulling me further into him. “Damn," he pants, resting his forehead on mine.

BANG. A knock sounds from outside the trailer, “You better not be up to no good in there, you two!” Eddie’s rumbling voice jolts us apart and my head snaps against the wall of the trailer.

A series of obscenities pours from my mouth as I grasp the back of my head. “You good?” Namjoon asks as he lifts me off the desk and back onto the floor.

“I’ll live… barely,” I lament.

He just shakes his head in amusement, “So dramatic, babe. Come on, let’s go do some service.”

a/n: a slight cliffhanger (but not really, hehe); also i didn’t have a beta read over this chapter bc i wanted to post ASAP so plz be kind if there are mistakes UWU

taglist: @catsandstrawberries @h5naaa @meowmeowyoongles @leftflowerprunedonut @rjsmochii @athletes-of-god @karissassirak @cage7241 @weallhavesecretsinthebestway @cvbachacbitch @honeyspillings @valiantcollectorofsandwiches @fivesecondsofsarang @oii-f-eli-x2​ @joonsroses​ @theevilyouknow @jooniescupcakes @expensive-grl @i-dont-even-know-fck @doingmybestalltheftime @elraeee @fangirling-all-the-way-tbh @laced-brds @aokay1010 @breeeeh17 @lpayne612 @peachyharmoney @rilakoya @chulchuchi @tabula-rasa0 @guccishookv @nomimits7 @i-like-puppy-mg @s-noir @anna-sorel @im-a-space-child @yeontanismypresident @drowning-in-oxygen @team-wang-puppy @lvvegood @anongirl007 @may114 @r-e-d-i-s-h @unatempesta-dipensieri @dragon-rider-with-a-book @blueberrygeniejam @wondrsblog @heterophobez @vi-hoshi @kirbykook @queen-of-astrology–roses @blu-butterfly69 @katemwatson @kawaiikpoplover268 @amsteramyy @sami4life @a-feeling-of-euphoria @the-jackals @bubbletae7 @platinum-grenade @bunnyboyenthusiast @brightly-byun @oofmeintheheadpls @sadboibts @lidda @goldenwidow3 @t-mel19 @lmkjimin @psiphidragon @jeon-joker @sathom013 @lustremyg @ggsmashgg @justyouraveragerandomblog @shadowstark @our-little-meow-meow @baby-hobii @toddsgirl27 @mythicalmeep @asifetch7 @kassandravictoria @eltrain80 @briannasthings @briannasthings @quotedcryptid @bumblekey93 @ohmwreckr @beach-bitch-bitch-beach @softchimmee @noonaduck @kookoo-kachoo

[goshawk]

ok. here goes. needed to collect my thoughts some more from last night but the same cautions apply

each year the nights around new years/my birthday since they’re p close i reflect on what’s happened. i started doing so in middle school and it’s something i’ve tried to keep up. introspect a little

transferring really fucked me up. i keep thinking that i want more academics and more options and a bigger pond to be a fish in but i 1) definitely have some sort of academic trauma that’s fed into learned helplessness 2) can’t regulate what is enough academics and what isnt because i do love learning and im a stupid academic type 3) fucking suck at socializing why the hell did i think i could go to such a large school 4) left a school where there were people i knew from hs and would actually connect with 5) left my best friend/roommate who i was maybe in love with for way too long and will never tell her but god i dont even want a relationship ill take any emotional intimacy.

transferring really isn’t my biggest gripe. it’s just the most significant thing that’s happened to me this year and encapsulates a lot of what’s fucked up.

i want friendship and studying together and giggling in my room and texting something funny and i could be a really good friend if i could just get my head out of my ass and say something interesting and relatable for once. im in a limbo where i think i’m interesting and don’t really want to change myself but dont think that others find me interesting at least at first interaction so where does that leave me.

i’ve driven myself away from one of my formerly close friends a while ago now. she got really, really high and mighty during 2020 protests and also getting into harvard gave her an ego boost she probably needed but also made her insufferable for some time. and seeing her as a freshman now (took a gap yr) and having a thicket of friends and going out is just. how the fuck did you do that. are you the same person i knew and sat in the locker room with. did i only like you then because we were both fucked up and is it fair for me to hate that you’ve moved on. do you recognize me. and im not stupid enough to claim that im not jealous but i hate what that’s made me and i hate that it keeps driving a wedge. i think about texting her sometimes, mostly when i see that she’s the only one of my friends still up at stupid hours, but then i think about what a fucking failure she was when i needed emotional support re: summer 2020 and how i offered that at the drop of a hat through the entirety of high school. literally where were you when i needed you. what would i even get from her now i hate it i hate it but im so lonely

but that’s a little too far back for 2021. i ended the year prior to last by maybe sending myself into an anxiety (panic?) attack for the first time. not doing great on that front this year. i transferred and incurred all that shit listed above. my health has in fact decided to get worse, especially these last two weeks. the only positive is the volunteer work i do with the raptors but honestly, does that really offset everything else?

i want it to. i want it to so badly and i want that to be how i meet other students and friends and socialize because you meet friends through common interests but im an econ major in a group of bio students and im not taking the same classes. god i dont know how to speak to people. my grades are worse and i love school less and my health is definitely fucking worse but lets face it. i’m from a family that has plenty disposable income and im a minority but not the most oppressed by any measure and im a woman in the best time to live as one and im not straight but my experience is limited to a person who came out as a trans man and i should not be as fucked up as i am. i think i have some complex about not spending money on myself bc i dont think it’s the best use of money. i appreciate what im given and i think its less of a money thing and more of a do i deserve good things complex

no clue how to write a conclusion in an essay and no clue how to write one here. happy new year folks

[s1utspeare]

Get To Know Me!

@foxofninetales tagged me in this ask game and since I LOVE HER i will now be doing it (i mean i’d do it anyway but now it will be filled with love for FOX i am not accepting CRITICISM ON THIS POINT)

Part I

name: Brigid! I’m named after the Irish goddess of like, poetry, healing, smithcraft, and protection, or the Irish saint (they’re both pretty similar it’s just whether or not you’re talking about Celtic religion or Catholicism). She’s very cool, and I think it’s a very fitting name for who I turned out to be!

pronouns: she/her

star sign: i’m an insufferable theatre kid of course I’m a Leo

height: 5'8″ babeeeyyy (172 cm). I’m not short like, at all, but all of my family members are over six foot, so I’m like. tiny in comparison. they all make fun of me all the time for it :(

time: 8:49pm! A delightful time of evening!!! 

birthday: July 31st, same day as Harry Potter lol.

nationality: american :P

fave bands/groups/solo artists: hnnnngggghhhh why would u ask me this I don’t KNOW jk i just have a lot uhhhhh all time faves would be Bastille and Mumford and Sons, but I’m SUPER into kpop right now, so my top groups are BTS, Stray Kids, and One OK Rock (who are technically jpop but I really like their stuff). I also am a Broadway BITCH (hello, theatre kid) so before this year all of my Spotify library was basically just show tunes. 

song stuck in your head: Get Away by VeriVery. I think they’re a pretty new group? idk i saw them on one of those tumblr promotional things and checked out the music video which is like??? really interesting conceptually? so I’ve just been listening to the song for a while lol. 

last movie you watched: Train to Busan! I’m gearing up to write a dmbj zombie apocalypse AU and so I was like “this is a popular zombie film! I’ll watch it for inspiration! :)” holy shit. holy shit i was so wrong. It’s one of the most viscerally affecting films I think I’ve ever seen, I was like. On the verge of an anxiety attack the entire time but in like the best possible way?? it’s a mastery of character introduction and action/horror and I cried for like the last ten minutes straight. SO affecting. I do NOT RECOMMEND IT if u are already made anxious by zombie apocalypse scenarios, blood, violence, and a Lot of Death. 

last show you binged: hmmm uh like I’m currently watching Mystic Nine but at like a normal pace, so the last show I probably binge watched was maybeeee The Uncanny Counter on Netflix? HIGHLY recommend that one, I made @cross-d-a watch it and I’m living for her liveblog reactions lmao. Idk most of my free time has been spent writing the past few months which. After months of only having the energy to watch shows is kind of really invigorating? the things u can do when u fix ur health I’ll tell you what

when you created your blog: in 2012 asldighalsdkfjladskjga i came on here to like burdge’s pjo fanart :)

the last thing you googled: "is it bad not to have an air cap on your tire” ALSDIGHALKDFJLADFJA FUCK ME (i learned that it’s not necessarily bad but it can get dirt and stuff built up in there so I went to the store after work today and replaced it)

other blogs: everything is here bc i am too lazy to create a sideblog! so sorry to everyone who does not follow me for cdrama content bc this is all I am now. 

why i chose my url: cause it’s my ao3 username and i wanted people to be able to find me more easily on tumblr! :) the long answer is because i love shakespeare and also i think that slut is a really funny word and concept for me especially because i am one of the most sexless people u will ever meet in ur life so slutspeare is like. an aggressively ace joke that only I think is funny. 

how many people are you following: 588

how many followers do you have: ah just over 200?!??!!? which is like. a lot for me. I think it was like 75 up until like last year omg 

average hours of sleep: my sleep app says I average around eight! which is very good for me! I do have to get enough sleep consistently or I will Have A Bad Time so my sleep schedule is pretty good and luckily I don’t have the Insomnia depression I have the Sleep Lots one which I am glad for bc idk what I’d do if I couldn’t Be Unconscious regularly. Die probably. 

lucky numbers: I don’t think I have lucky numbers?? my favorite number is 21 for no reason other than the vibes alone. 

instruments: i’ve played the piano for uhhhh.... eighteen years now? and I can play the ukulele and am surprisingly good with the recorder since I’ve had to play it in Multiple Theatre Performances. I was also an honor choir singer back in high school so I’ve done a lot of select ensemble stuff which was super fun! 

what i'm currently wearing: a Life Is Good long-sleeved t-shirt that says “Not All Who Wander Are Lost” that I got in a military surplus store like a million years ago and red Adidas athletic shorts that I found at the thrift store a couple weeks back

dream job: playwright! I just wanna be a playwright! playwriting is like drugs i literally go nuts for it

dream trip: I don’t know??? I don’t really like traveling tbh aslidhalkfdj umm I do want to see the grand canyon sometime before I die tho so maybe a road trip down there? I definitely like traveling solo so I’d probably just hang out with myself and drive and go to whatever places I want and see dumb tourist attractions and sing loudly in the car

fave food: CURRY i know i said eggs the last time it asked me this but I miss my local Indian restaurant I want to eat literal Platefuls of tikka masala at 12pm at the Indian buffet after my physics class again :(

top three fictional universe you'd like to live in: hmmm i don’t know, actually! probably one where I have Powers and could do Cool Hand Motions and make Lights Appear. If I were anywhere with like. An Actual World-Dooming problem tho I would not be helpful at all. I would just die. Besides, I already live in fictional universes half the time, I’m a writer! 

Part II

last song: Basquiat by Pentagon! The music video is like. Very whumpy. So if you’re into that... the song’s also a bop

last stream: i don't watch streams very often, I just watch clips from them, cause those usually just give the best parts lol 

currently reading: mmmmmbbbaaaaahhhhh literally nothing? I’m trying to get caught up on the backlog of dmbj fic I haven’t gotten around to so Binding by @vishcount is next on that list! oh I guess I’m also reading Johnny Tremain with my kids (one of them SPOILED THE END and I forgot how it ended and now I’m big sad). 

currently watching: Mystic Niiiiinnnneeeeee! love those gay history bitches. everyone in that show is so funny. I just finished the Fuba Side Plot tho and now we’re back to Politics so i’m like >:( someone give zhang baby rishan a hug (and then i write angst about him what is wrong with me)

what is antipoetry to you: antipoetry??? what the heck is antipoetry hold on... uhhhh that’s just poetry. who came up with this term. i guess like lyrical fiction would be the technical correct definition but idk I consider anything to be poetry! like that’s the whole point! poetry is poetry is poetry as long as it’s focused on intensity and emotions it’s poetry! a haiku? poetry. the random one-lined mess of words on my phone? poetry. a literal drawing of a cardinal with the word “bird” written next to it? poetry. idk I’ve been trying to teach my kids that there are no wrong ways to write creatively; if you’re expressing yourself and making emotions, then you’re writing! also like half of my work could be considered antipoetry lmao. I love emotionally supercharging the mundane.

currently craving: i have noooo ideaaaasssss i’m literally just vibing. uh. water? ok i took care of that one my water bottle was right next to me. 

AH IF YOU READ THIS MUCH THANK YOU???? i love u 

uhhhh no pressure tags for @xia-xueyi, @nope4ever, @bookjoyworm, @elletromil, and @gaiahenshin, as well as anyone else who would like to give the full-rundown on themselves! :D

[magpiemorality]

Roceit or analogical 8 -xaime

8: dancing at a masquerade

Why not both? 

AO3

***

The theme of Homecoming was Masquerade. Roman had been going on and on about how romantic and mysterious and sexy it was going to be, as though they weren’t still going to be the same sweaty, awkward teenagers in the same sweaty, cold gym hall, wearing clothes they’d spent too much money on and masks that didn’t remotely hide who anyone was. 

Virgil had his doubts about it, okay? “I can’t believe you convinced me to go to this...” He grumbled as he finished buttoning up his blue suit jacket. His formal shoes were a little uncomfortable but he had to admit the mask was pretty fun, covering almost all of his face apart from the bottom left quarter in a Phantom of the Opera style that he’d made himself. 

In all fairness the the mask thing had been a stroke of genius. They had a pretty good year group for getting on board with gimmicks- growing up on too many Hollywood teen movies would do that- so instead of all giving up and barely trying it seemed the mystery of who would be wearing what mask had lured them all in. Virgil didn’t even know what Roman would be wearing yet, although he would find out soon enough when it came time to leave. 

“You are so excited, don’t try and deny it!” Roman snorted, finishing his makeup at his vanity. So apparently his would reveal a bit more than Virgil’s, it seemed. “Besides, this is your chance to dance with whoever you want to and no one will know. Isn’t that cool?!”

Ugh. “Sure, cool...” Virgil sighed. He only really wanted to dance with one person, and he wasn’t sure they were even going. Logan had a thing about frivolity, and school dances were just peak frivolous, really. He didn’t need to wonder who Roman was hoping to dance with; he’d been listening to his friend catalogue everything about Devon, Logan’s Valedictorian rival, in order to be sure he’d recognise him even with a mask, for almost a month. It would be creepy if he didn’t have insider knowledge (kept carefully from Roman) that Devon was not opposed to this attention whatsoever. Still a bit creepy though, but Roman fancied himself in love, so he was past caring. 

The gym didn’t look half bad when they arrived an hour later. It was strung with big draping cloth that brought the height of the ceiling down and transformed the space into something a lot more magical than they’d expected. Roman nearly squealed at the sight, his eyes glinting in excitement through his own venetian style mask which- as Virgil had guessed- had a little extra space around the eyes for him to show his makeup off. 

The photobooth queue was rammed, so they slipped past and over to the drinks bar to get some soda punch, for that tooth-rotting sugar high that was so sorely needed for nights like this. Some blessed student had apparently argued for snacks and food to be served too, because there were hot dogs and various other party foods on the table next to the drinks. Virgil had two; Roman’s ‘Get Ready Schedule’ hadn’t included dinner. 

Even the music was good, a fun mix of old classical music and well mixed tunes. No DJ in sight, so probably Spotify coming through there, and really, Virgil thought, the planning committee deserved an award for this one. 

“I can’t see him yet, do you think he’s here? Should I go look? Maybe we should dance...” Roman muttered, craning his head this way and that to look for Devon. 

“Dance to this? I wouldn’t know how to dance to this if my life depended on it,” Virgil replied, downing the second hot dog and speaking as he chewed. Carefully! He wasn’t an animal. Roman still wrinkled his nose at the display and held his hands out, pulling his friend onto the dancefloor. Oh right- he’d done some kind of old fashioned musical over summer break and probably did know what he was doing. 

“So you just glide and then step and step and- no, ow, but close I guess-”

The time flew by as the two friends larked about to the music. Roman tried his best but Virgil was hard to teach, and the sugar was already kicking in and making them both giggle when someone stopped next to them to cut in. Roman’s eyes went wide when he heard the voice. 

“May I steal your teacher away, my friend?” Devon asked, the gold silk of his mask shining under the lights. It only covered the top half of his face and his perfectly white teeth glinted as he smiled and Roman nearly flat out fainted as he was pulled away. 

They did make a great couple, Virgil thought to himself. He sat at a nearby table, contenting himself with people watching. Devon was the right height to complement Roman’s equally long legs, gliding them in a simple but graceful waltz around and even attempting a spin at one stage that ended with them pressed a lot closer than before. Virgil knew he’d be hearing all about what they looked like they were enthusiastically discussing for the next week at least. 

“Is this seat taken?” He jumped, not expecting the interruption near his ear. “My apologies, I did not realise I would startle you.”

Logan. He had come. Virgil gulped and shook his head. “No, no that’s fine. Um, it’s not taken, feel free. I’m just watching uh, the people. Not like, in a creepy way? I just- my friend is dancing with his crush and I wanted to get out of the way and it’s just the two of us-”

“I understand,” Logan nodded. His mask looked to be one of those old Guy Fawkes masks with the mouth cut out, a simple enough effort but pretty striking among the throng of glitter and sequins and bright colours. “So, Phantom, what do you think then?”

“Huh? Oh, me. Phantom. Um, I think it’s pretty cool actually. It looks pretty great for the school gym, you know? Give the committee a raise, I might actually come to the next one too.” 

“Absolutely. I’m only here because my friend P- my friend is on that committee. He was very dedicated to making the ah, ‘aesthetic’? Is that the right word?” At Virgil’s nod Logan continued. “But I do find myself charmed by it. Maybe I’ll come back.” 

“You should!” Virgil blurted, like the lovesick moron he was. “I mean, then I won’t have to be the kid watching everyone by myself again, you know?” 

Logan’s head tilted as he looked closely at him, and Virgil squirmed under the attention, wondering if his identity was being figured out. “Would you like to dance, Phantom?” Wasn’t the next words he’d expected from his neighbour. 

Somehow Virgil nodded mutely, taking the proffered hand and standing up with Logan to perform a sort of box-step sway at the edge of the dancers while the music played. At some stage the music changed to the more familiar chart hits, but they just kept on swaying, deep in a discussion about NASA while across the room Roman and Devon were engrossed in the music, making up their own routines and shouting along to the songs they recognised with everyone else. 

Roman was going to be insufferable after how well the night had turned out, but Virgil couldn’t bring himself to care, not with this payoff. 

Worth it. 

[blondeblackwidow]

Poe and the reader getting stranded on a small deserted planet for a few days and they’re all domestic, and everyone back at base is surprised when they get back. Please? Your Poe pieces have been so cute!

Rumors and Lies ( Poe x Reader)

GIF CREDIT: @winterswake

prompt:  Poe and the reader getting stranded on a small deserted planet for a few days and they’re all domestic, and everyone back at base is surprised when they get back. Please? Your Poe pieces have been so cute!

a/n: this was literally so fun to write I got so carried away. Thanks for the request Anon, I hope it was worth the wait!

tw: implied smut

wc: 1749 

“Are you happy now, Dameron?!” You shouted, looking at the flaming rubble of the ship.

“How is this my fault?” He threw his hands in the air. 

“You HAD to try your fancy flying tricks.” 

“We had FOUR TIEs on our tail, what would you like me to do?!” 

“You’re insufferable!”

“You’re ungrateful, we’d be dead right now if it wasn’t for me.”

“OH PLEASE.” You rolled your eyes. Poe grunted, looking around for things to fix the ship, while you tried to hotwire the comm units to send out a beacon. Night came fast, and luckily for you, there was an abandoned farmhouse nearby. It looked as if it’s owners had deserted once the First Order set up a base on the moons orbiting this unfortunate planet.

“This will have to do.” Poe only nodded in agreement, and set down the bags of supplies from the ships. You cleared the house, and eventually settled in what looks like a sitting room. You sat on opposite ends of a couch that seemed untouched by the rest of the dust that settled on the house. You two ate MRE’s in silence. But in true Poe fashion, he broke the silence first.“Who do you think lived here?” He asked, looking around. You were a spy, a damn good one at that, and you had gotten used to using people’s things as clues into their lives.

  “Well by the amount of land out back, probably a farmer, no idea what.” You shrugged. “It was a male farmer though, presumably human by the size and shape of those gloves.” You gestured to the gloves on the small end table, Poe handed them to you, and you examined the left one. “He was married, there’s wear marks for a ring.” You got up and wandered around the room, all personal things like pictures and keepsakes were gone, but there was enough to piece together a life. “They had a young baby.” You picked up small socks, and a bottle that were left on a shelf. Poe watched in awe as you pieced together a life from the smallest of details. 

“You’re pretty good at this.” He smiled. 

“I have to be, bad storytellers in this profession get killed.” You shrugged. 

“So what’s your story, actually?” He put his feet up on a small footrest and leaned back. You could only laugh. Only Poe could be stuck on a deserted planet with no reinforcements and make himself comfortable. 

“My parents were some dignitaries from Alderaan, they were off world when it exploded.” You had always wondered about how different your life would be if the Empire haven’t blown your homeworld into ash and stardust. “They were childhood friends of the General. They did their best to protect me, but eventually, at 16, we were separated. From then on I had to lie, scam, and cheat my way to survive. Alderaan’s survivors wanted to form a New Alderaan on some planet, they wanted my parents to lead them, but they couldn’t find any trace of them. I think the First Order took them out, I’ll never know.” You shrugged. 

“Commander of the Resistance’s covert forces…” Poe snickered. “And Princess of Alderaan.” He laughed, and you threw the farmers glove at him. 

“Oh can it!” You laughed

“Whatever you say, Princess.” You wanted to correct the incorrectness of the nickname, but it sounded so sweet from his lips, your stomach did flips just thinking about it. Before you could even retort, there was a knock at the door. You both froze. 

Glancing out the window, you saw it was First Order patrols. “So much for a scrambled beacon.” You mumbled, you grabbed Poe’s hand, and dragged him to the door. “Act like you love me. And follow my lead.” Poe furrowed his brows and before he could think about it, you swung open the door to meet the visors of stormtroopers. 

“Hello!” You greeted cheerfully. “Is there anything I can do for you, Gentlemen?” You had taken on a different pattern of speech, and Poe wrapped his arm around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek. “Oh please, honey, we have guests. Sorry, my husband can get a little handsy. We were just in the middle of a very heated..” 

“No need for details ma’am.” The trooper held up a gloved hand. “We were wondering if you knew anything about the ship crashed about a mile from here.”

“Oh no, I did hear a very large crash though, I hope whoever was flying it is alright.” You smiled, and interlaced your hand in Poe’s free hand, clutching it, as if you were sick with worry. 

“Would you mind if we searched your home?” Your stomach dropped. 

“No matter at all.” You gestured them inside, and as soon as they passed, you pressed a very deep kiss to Poe’s lips. The lead trooper turned around to look at you two for guidance. He cleared his throat and waited for you to separate. “So sorry, like I said, very handsy.” 

  “There’s a closed door at the end of the hall, we can’t get it open and need your help.” He said grimly, all your supplies were in there, it would blow your cover in a heartbeat. 

“Oh, I suppose.” You said, and began to walk down the hall. “You will be quiet though, and leave the light off will you?” The trooper tilted his head. “We welcomed a baby boy last month and I just got him to sleep.” They stood, staring at you, you had your hands folded, to hide the fact they were shaking. 

“That’s alright ma’am.” He went to turn around. “I’ll escort my squad out.” 

“Oh thank you all.” You smiled genuinely. “Have a safe evening gentlemen.” You latched the door behind them, and let out a huge sigh of relief. Poe was leaned up against a wall. 

“That was a risk.” He said, he almost looked like he was frowning. 

“Yes it was, but it paid off.” You giggled. “Husband.” You imitate your voice from before. Poe only half laughed, and you couldn’t understand why, until he walked over to you and shoved you against the latched door, and pressed his lips against yours. You kissed him back eagerly. You always had a thing for him, but you were committed to the resistance, you weren’t there to have a boyfriend. He tugged at your blouse and you let him pull it over your head. You two didn’t speak in words all night. 

-

The next morning, you were half expecting things to go back to normal. You woke up, head buried in his chest, legs tangled in each others embrace. He was sleeping soundly, and you just laid there, watching the sun peak through the blinders.

Eventually, you had to figure out a way of getting a hold of the general. You untangled yourself slowly, and grabbed your bag, making for the kitchen. You started to pull anything with wires apart to rig your comm unit to encrypt for real this time. You were so engrossed in your project that you didn’t even hear Poe come in. He came up behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist and pressed a kiss to your cheek. 

“Mornin’ Princess.” He mumbled. 

“Morning Poe.” You smiled, and turned around to face him. He had put his trousers on but not his shirt, and you knew that wasn’t an accident. 

“What are you working on?” He asked. 

“Comm unit.” You shrugged. “Gotta get a message for someone to come get us.” You picked it up. “I’ve almost got it.” Poe took it from your hands. 

“How about we send the message later?” He smirked. “I kinda liked last night.” 

“As much as I would love to stay and have crazy amounts of sex all day, we have jobs Poe.” You shake your head and reached for the comm, and he held it out of your reach.

  “Who said anything about sex?” He stared you down. “I meant I liked us, just being together, pretending we had a life outside of this war.” You blinked. “Okay and yes the sex was great too but outside of that.” You laughed. 

“Fine. But we send that message tonight.” You rolled your eyes and he came in closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips. 

“Thank you, wife.” He winked and you rolled your eyes again. 

“Anytime, husband.” You laughed, and so did he. 

-

  Back on base, you got back to training a group of rookies who had chosen Covert Ops as their specialty. You were currently in the middle of sparring with a tall, fairly muscular man. You lesson for today was about overpowering your odds. You moved through your opponent, and he handed on his flat back on the ground, knocking the wind out of him. 

You look up to see Poe, head to toe in orange, he had mentioned earlier that he had a training flight. You offered your trainee your hand, and helped him up. “Everyone go get something to eat, and rest, we’ll meet back here in an hour.” You weren’t even looking at your class, you were lost in a pair of brown eyes. “You’re dismissed.” You walked over to Poe.

“It was pretty impressive to watch ya know. I could’ve waited.” He was smirking. You wanted to punch him and make out with him all at once. 

“What do you want, Dameron?” You tried to maintain your professionalism, you were aware that your students were still listening.

“General needs us in Command.” He smiled, and handed you a holopad.

“Another one?” You grumbled. “Where to this time?”

  “Canto Bight, we need to pose as some rich couple to extract some information from some people at the casino.” He winked. “We leave tomorrow morning, wife.” And with that, you turned around to walk to command for the official briefing. You watched as your training classes jaws hit the ground. 

“Poe Dameron you did not!” You laughed and ran after him, only half mad.

Rumors floated around on base that you two were secretly married on that planet. They were ridiculous, and you told people that you didn’t pay them any mind because you knew the truth, but if you were honest, you just liked the warm feeling you got in your gut when people referred to Poe as yours. 

Even if you got an occasional pointed glance from a new recruit or two.

[star-wars-multishippers]

Get to Know Me(me) - The Members of SW Multishippers!

This was an event hosted on the Discord server to do a sort of re-introduction of both old and new joiners to the server. Everyone who wanted to participate filled out the survey below to share a little about themselves and about their faves in fandom.

Survey (for anyone who wants to join in below in the comments):

Who Am I? - Name, username on other sites, mini bio if you'd like Where do I fit into the SW fandom? - Prequels, Sequels, EU, etc. What do you do? Fic, art, lurking and reblogging? My Top Faves - 2 or 3 max please! My Own Stuff - 1 or 2 max please!

MBlair

Who am I?

MBlair both on Discord and on AO3, maggzblair on Tumblr (MBlair, maggzblair)

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

Mostly lurker/reblogger/occasional writer, mostly Original Trilogy and Sequel trilogy.

Fics I Love to Rec

Of Queens, Knights, and Pawns (and associated fics) by chancecraz

Hand of Fate by sweetestcondition

My Fics I Love to Rec

Reyuxmas 2019

A Wonderful Winter on Hoth

I’ll Love You ‘Til the Suns Burn Out

feckyeslife

Who Am I?

Feckyeslife#2003 on Discord, firelord65 on AO3

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I'm pretty solidly a Sequels fan, but I have a special place in my heart for the Prequels. I'm a fic writer who dabbles mostly in canon universe AUs, what ifs, that sort of stuff. Primarily my fics have Rey with a tendency to focus on the First Order characters and plots.

My Top Faves

A classic Reylo fic from an old friend - Beneath the Facade. It technically has a prologue fic before it in the series, but this piece was the one that I really enjoyed way back in the EARLY days of Reylo.

Because I'm an insufferable Reylux fan, I have to rec at least one. This piece by @every-day-is-star-wars-day  a oneshot that ever so masterfully crushes my heart every time - Thread

My one Original Trilogy rec, this is a beast of a long fic but so, so good - Dark Times

My Own Stuff

Reylux, medieval AU - La Vita Primus - is the first in a small series of this AU

Reylo, TROS Fix-It - Oh but it's a dark future, my star. Oh but it's a soft morning for us soon.

apple-au

Who Am I?

Call me apple. she/her/hers. I’m gold_pen_leaps on dreamwidth, ao3, and pillowfort. @gold_pen_leaps@tenforward.social on mastodon. I am doing my best to boycott tumblr, but I've been known to use a tumblr link embed on pf from time to time. (gold_pen_leaps (DW), gold_pen_leaps (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I’m mainly into the Sequels and the Mandalorian. I joined the server for Hux/Kylo/Rey and all the combinations of the characters in my ot3. I can edit better than I can write. Sometimes I comment on fics.

My Top Faves

A Dance of Titans by @lucidlucy is a really long reylux fic. The delicious slowburn makes all the flavors combine in an amazing way. Love how they battle the main villain!

My Own Stuff

I helped give feedback on the second part of a series. Does that count? This is knight_of_dance's fic. It's really cool to see writers' takes on Modern AU, and this one has influenced my ideas of what sort of kinks those characters have. :smirk: Switch Up

Mizz

Who Am I?

 hi! tho im much more...a lurker around here im mizz (she/they/he). im badarmada on tumblr, badwrong-gimme on pillowfort, gimmemrss on twitter, badwrongprincess on ao3 (i have so many usernames XD, ive got a dreamwidth, wordpress, and art insta too if youre interested lol)

(@badarmada, gimmemrss (twitter), badwrongprincess (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

i liked the prequels as a kid (still do kinda), rouge one, i do like clone wars tho i havent finished it and the sequels (well tfa and tros tho only one of them is good imo) i reblog stuff mostly and read fanfic, tho i write some stuff too. finn is my fav and pretty much my center character (ie the one i focus on the most) and i like most finn ships (favs being finnhux, finnlo, finnrey)

My Top Faves

the things we do for love by glare is an unfinished finnlohux fanfic that i love a lot

worlds are built for two by synergenic (Losseflame). this is a poefinn fic from finns pov

My Own Stuff

um...im still working on this fic -(Be More Chill, Hux) very slowly this year has been super hard on me writing wise and ive been drawing ocs and for another fandom mostly but I will finish this one day!

Arsanimo - Marion

Who Am I?

Hi, I’m Arsanimo, self taught artist and nerd from Germany that’s mostly lurking. You can find me with this username on tumblr, twitter and instagram. I draw mostly Reylo at the moment. ( @arsanimo, Arsanimo (Twitter), Arsanimo (IG))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

I‘m in my thirties and an OT fan since birth, because my dad was obsessed with Star Wars and we watched it a lot as kids - they are the go to christmas movies in our family. Even as a very small kid I loved Vader. I didn’t like the ST quite as much when it came out in cinemas but still watched them multiple times. I’m much more fond of them now. But my love for Star Wars really got renewed with the ST. I really liked TFA and TLJ a lot. Not a great fan of TROS though, but to each their own. I recently started watching TCW, if you haven’t go watch it! The Mandalorian is also great and feels more like the OT for me, which I love. Oh, and R1 was awesome, I loved that one! Solo also was good. I think I will be a lifelong fan because it’s such a rich universe and everybody can pick a favorite. I’m also good at ignoring the parts I don’t like, lol. But I‘m mostly exhausted about all the drama on social media, so at the moment I take a bit of a break from social media and only post from time to time. And I’m of the firm believe to ship and let ship and if the art and fics are good, you can also find me enjoying ships outside of Reylo (honestly, some Kylux art out there, woah... and Finnrey is always so tender but Stormpilot has two hot guys in it... and don’t get me started about Finnrose! You probably get the gist)

My Top Faves

It’s hard to name so few, there are so many good artists out there. But Winter of Her (Twitter) has some outstanding art in her own style. Than I really like the style of Khallion (Twitter), check her out.

My Own Stuff

And last but not least two pieces of mine that turned out pretty good

https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1275789997426311173?s=21

https://twitter.com/arsanimo/status/1258757927910989825?s=21

Knight_Of_Cookies

Who am I?

Allo allo, I go by many names but many know me as cookies here. Lol I'm from the US and I've been a lifelong A+, gold star , nerd my whole life. I love writing among 5 million other hobbies. I am on Tumblr and A03. (@knight-of-cookies, Knight_of_Cookies (AO3))

Where do I fit into the SW fandom?

It all started with the prequels which I fell in love with and even wrote my first fan fic on. (I dragged it from fanfic.net to A03 for my own form of personal torture) I dropped out of star wars until I was in Japan and a close group of friends got me to watch Roque One and play a star wars based table top role playing game, which dumped me back into this fandom hardcore. I fell in love with the sequel trilogy and now I'm stuck forever. Lol

I have been writing on A03 for around 2 years now for star wars and it's been the most productive and progressive work I've ever done thanks to ya'll.

Also, hey, I created this multishippers discord, because multishipping rocks and everyone should do it. :P I know I've never active enough but I love this space and the people in it! My fav part about multishipping is how I'm always discovering yet another ship that is awesome. It never ends. ^^

My top favs - (of things no one should be surprised by)

Beastie by @feckyeswriting. It spawned a written series(multiple actually)

Glutton by Witchoil. Just very good dark and wonderful kinky smut. Always go back to this one.

In the house that skywalker built by @aicosu. This story got me into Reylux in a way I'll never recover from.

My own stuff

Nothing but Themselves - This is my favorite beast of a story I've ever written and it will be beautiful when I finish it. One day. Lol

Tanzaku - One of my most polished pieces thanks to the Reylo Anthology. My best combo of: insert culture nerding here and captive Ben as personal tropes.

[arandomgirl23]

Misadventures of A Random Girl - Diary - Chapter 1.1 - Drama

03.03.2020

Do you ever have someone that you just can't hold a conversation with? Like, no matter how hard you try to be calm and reasonable, you still end up yelling at each other? I think we all have someone like that. I do too.

There are some things I can talk to her about, but there are some topics that just don't dare be touched, lest I light an explosion.

It's funny though. It's for this exact reason that children have two parents. Either one parent doesn't know about what you want to talk about, or the other parent is really sensitive of a topic, but there are some topics that you can go to one parent about, and some topics to talk to the other about. It's important to know what you can speak calmly with one parent about, and what is best not to talk to them about.

It's actually pretty surprising how much just choosing a topic for discussion wisely can affect your relationships. And this goes far beyond parents. This affects friends, acquaintances, superiors, you name it.

This brings me to a funny experience I had a few years ago, though I would not have called it funny back then.

This was almost three years ago; I had recently moved overseas, and I had little social experience due to the fact that I had been home schooled almost my whole life except for six months when I was seven (I have some experiences I will talk about from then as well). The town I moved to was quite small compared to the big city I was used to, and because I was the only American that was living there, I became very popular, very quickly (to give you an idea, it took about 3 weeks - 1 month for the whole city (≈ 80,000 people) to know who I was, having seen me for the first time). So, I started at the school I would be studying at for the next ≈1.25 years, and naturally, because I was from the US, and I was so popular, most of the girls wanted to be friends with me, and everyone wanted to know more about my life in America (to the point where I was cornered with people asking me questions). I remember, the question I got the most was, "Say something in English!!" :D  

So, as I was trying to fit in more with the collective, I tried to find out more about what everyone was interested in. I quickly learned that anime was something very popular, that probably 50% of teens were into (the other 50% was into makeup or being cool : | ). I had heard of anime at the time, but because there was a language barrier, (and I honestly had no idea if the anime they were talking about was the same anime I knew lol) I was hesitant to get into it (and then go, "Hey everyone, I watch aNiMe!!!", like what if I got it wrong lol :D).

This brings me back to the friend thing.  At the time, I had two BFFs. One was into "anime" (at this time I still had no clue what people were talking about :D), the other was into making Likee and TikTok videos. She got me into that, and I honestly enjoyed it, but I was still DYING to know what that "anime" was :D. So, I asked my friend that was into anime. . . . . . DUHHH.

Lol

I figured out that, yes indeed, it was the same anime  I knew.

...

So what was stopping me?

.

Nothing.

So I watched it.

* clapping * * clapping * * clapping * * clapping * * clapping ** clapping *

.

So, yeah, everything was fine. I got really into anime, the anime friend of mine was happy because we had something to be weird about together lol.

But if that was it, then I wouldn't be talking about this now, would I? :D

Well, I quickly learned that the other friend I had absolutely HATED anime, like, she just couldn't even stand the SIGHT of it, I'm serious. = > =    But, somehow, she was friends with these other girls in my class, and there was no problem, even though they were really into anime and all that. It FASCINATED me, I really wanted to know what was going on, because she really seemed to have a problem with the friend of mine that was into anime.

Fun fact (that is actually really important): These two BFFs of mine had the same name.

Let's call them L1 (into anime) and L2 (into Likee and TikTok)

I had also recently became friends with two other girls, let's call one of them T, and the other S.

One day, I was eating in the cafeteria with L2, and I got a text on Instagram from T, and she was telling me things about L2, and giving me reasons why I shouldn't be friends with her. I was really confused = > = (naturally) and, having little social experience, I showed the text message to L2, like, wut do I do with this ....  She took the phone from me and started writing to T. The conversation went approximately like this:

L2: What is your problem? Why can't you just leave me alone? Now you have to go and try to manipulate R(me)?!

T: This has nothing to do with you! I wasn't talking to you!

.....

...

..

.

I don't remember the rest of the conversation that well, but I know that L2 showed a side of herself that made me think to believe T, not to mention I could tell that something had happened before I moved there, + I didn't have much social experience (had this happened now, I would have known not to get involved in their drama lol), so I wanted to figure out what happened before I moved (and deep down inside I think I really wanted to get involved with their drama because I had never been involved in drama before, I only realized this after I was in deep and regretted getting involved). So I found T alone with L1, and I asked them about it.

In short, if I don't say it like they did, and bluntly give you a synopsis of what they told me, they told me L2 was a backstabbing b***h that I shouldn't be friends with, because she would just stab me in the back like she did them.

Having little social experience (I swear I think I'm going to die just from typing this :D) I went to L2 and was basically like, "HeY, L1 and T told me that you're a bAcKsTaBbInG b***H! Is this true :DDDDD"

Of course this didn't end well.

In the end I ended up sparking a match where there was gasoline ...

It wasn't good.

I'll give you a summary of what happened before I came there (of course there's always the chance that all this was a lie that they came up with to make fun of me and get me to leave and go back to America, but I don't really know so we'll leave that theory of mine alone lol :D). I also want you to know that this information was all gathered from gossip, rumor and me piecing things together and coming to my own conclusions, so I can't prove any of it. I have no material evidence at all. I'll give a short summary and then explain further.

L2 has some bad character traits, like jealousy. S really likes to manipulate people, and found L2 as a nice target, since she could take already existing gasoline and matches (drama) between L2 and L1, T, and light an explosion, after which she could just watch them burn from the sidelines. This is really what it seems like, because she wasn't really on anyone's side, she would participate in gossip on both sides.

Before I met anyone, L2, L1, and T knew each other. They all went to dance classes together, and they were the bestest of friends. Then a new girl joined the dance class. Let's call her A. A became pretty popular (I still don't know why), so everyone wanted to be friends with her. She wanted to be friends with L1 and T, but she couldn't care less about L2 (I'm guessing the popularity got to her head, it happens to the best of us). Naturally, because L2 wanted to be friends with her, L2 became very jealous. L2 ended up following the three of them around, but was pretty much left out, making her even more jealous.

Finally, she just turned on L1 and T, "Well if you won't pay attention to me, I won't be friends with you anymore!". Basically she played tit for tat. (Let me remind you that they were pretty young, so this is expected behavior). The gamble was that she would throw their relationship out the window, hoping for them to pick it up, and come back to her with apologies. This, however, did not happen. Instead they just thought of her as jealous and tried to disconnect themselves from her. But, due to the fact that they were young = > = ... they did this with many mean words which did quite the opposite.

You see, mean words cause this effect -- I call it "The Very Last Word Effect" lol

It works like this :D

L1 and T: Your a backstabber! You mean! We don't want to associate ourselves with you! ;P

L2: Well you're meaner! You don't want to be friends with me!

L1 and T: Like it's not your fault that you have and insufferable attitude!

L2: Well you're ugly and mean! I had a friend that was just like you! I hate her!

L1  and T: * insert mean things *

L2: * insert meaner things *

L1 and T: ...

L2: ...

...

..

.

I think you get the idea. Once someone says something like that and the "The Very Last Word Effect" starts, it becomes a competition for saying the last word. Thus, L1 and T did not disconnect themselves from L2 at all. And they became a weird sort of frenemies. They all quit dance classes at some point, but the drama stayed. And then it started about anime. L2 decided that she hated anime, and L1 decided that she didn't like L2 at all because of that. And then T decided that she couldn't decide if she wanted to be friends with L1 or L2, so she was constantly stirring things up with her involvment.

But get this- THEY ALL WALKED AROUND THE SCHOOL TOGETHER ALL DAY LONG LAUGHING AND CHATTING, such that an outsider who had no clue what was going on would think that they were best friends.

This is where S comes in. Somewhere along in here, S became friends with this hopeless trio. She lit matches here and there, and sparks started flying. Sometime around here is also where I came into the picture. My position with anime really made L2 feel helpless, like maybe I would leave her too. Knowing that L1, T, and S + another friend group that I haven't even started talking about yet were all against her, and afraid that I would leave her, she pulled THAT SAME CARD that she pulled so many years ago. She made up a reason for me not to be friends with her.

She told me, in short, that I had to choose. L1 and T or her.

I didn't want to choose. They were all my friends. I thought it would be wrong of me to choose friends. It IS wrong to choose friends.

But she insisted. She gave me a bunch of reasons to choose her. "I defend you from your bullies!" she said. I don't remember all of them, but I know there were a lot.

I kept repeating, "I don't want to choose!".

And then she started saying things, like, "See, it's all that horrible anime! You started watching that anime and now all you want to do is hang out with L1!" she said.

"I had a friend like that! She stabbed me in the back like that! I don't talk to her anymore!" she said.

That was ... kinda the last straw for me. What she said made me really upset. I started saying mean things, calling her names and a bunch of other stuff. The argument really heated up. I started recording everything. Finally, I just ended the conversation and left with L1 and T to go home.

____________________________________________________________

In Part 2:

I got sick soon after, and then I started hearing from my friends that L2 had been talking behind my back about me with S and that other friend group ...

____________________________________________________________

AN: I hope you enjoy this story. This is just part 1. I originally planned to have it in just one part, but I really want to post something, and this is getting pretty long :D

These are all my personal experiences that  I wanted to write down someplace ^^

____________________________________________________________

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by @arandomgirl23

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[strikearose]

IT’S ALL ABOUT CONNECTIONS (SASUNARU) (P. 2)

I hope you guys are safe. Here’s the second part of that silly !YoutubeSasuNaru story. Please feel free to give me your impressions <3 Summary :  Sasuke has had that massive crush on a youtuber for years when Rasengan randomly starts going to his class… You can also read it on ff.net and ao3. Part 1 (clic), Part 2 (clic), Part 3 (clic)

9:27.

Sasuke shook his head, annoyed at himself. There was nothing to be done : all hope of being able to concentrate again on what Mr. Sarutobi was telling had definitely vanished almost half an hour ago, when a certain blond head had finally made his noteworthy arrival. His last bit of coherent notes somehow proved it : the tip of his pen had dramatically crashed onto the sheet of paper, leaving a huge blotch of blue ink on top of it.

But no matter how much he was struggling, his onyx eyes were literally hypnotized by the psychedelic motif of the one Kiba who had called out (with way too much familiarity to his liking) ‘Hey Naruto, here !’.

No one in the auditorium had seemed the least surprised to see Rasengan bursting out in their class like that.

No one had made the slightest remark about this unusual interruption.

And worse than that - no one had flinched (or even giggled) at the sight of that awful washed out t-shirt.

The class had resumed straight-away as if nothing had happened for everyone, except for Sasuke, who couldn’t take his eyes off the curious pair only located a few rows away.

Kiba Inuzuka and Naruto.

Naruto.

It must have been his real name as he immediately turned towards the insufferable brown-haired boy before settling down beside him, a big grin on both of their faces.

So Rasengan’s real name was Naruto.

Naruto.

A strange name, but one that rolled almost pleasantly on the tongue.

Na-ru-to.

A name that months of search online had not been able to find.

Damn it - was it really like that? Rasengan just showed up one morning in the middle of their class and the teacher, without even batting an eyelid, let him sit next to… Kiba ?

… Just like that?

Kiba Inuzuka was dissipated, noisy and frankly dumb. If Rasengan really had just joined their class, wouldn’t it have been more appropriate to have him sit next to someone more serious? Someone who could at least explain to him what this class was all about? Someone reliable, rigorous.

Well - someone like him, for instance.

Tss - why did things never turn out like in a damn manga?

**

The next two days confirmed what Sasuke had understood. 'Naruto’ had really joined them in the middle of October. Incidentally, it had came to his knowledge that the blonde had previously taken a distance learning course.

Unfortunately, the black-haired man had not yet found a way to get in direct contact with the newcomer - even though, judging by the familiarity with which his classmates were already addressing him, it didn’t seem like that much of a challenge. Naruto seemed to be one of those people who didn’t need to be integrated: all he had to do was to jump into someone’s conversation after hearing them talk about music or a tv-show - and that was it, he was one of them. He didn’t care if he was interfering something or being intrusive - and no one seemed to mind: everyone welcomed his companionship with open arms.

In less than a week, Rasengan had become the complete idol of Konohamaru Sarutobi (who was trying in to follow him wherever he went), he had also managed to make the shy Hinata come out of her shell for a bit, and - more incredibly !, her cousin even seemed to tolerate his presence in class. And God knew how hard it was to be tolerated by Neji Hyuuga.

In short - it had taken Naruto less than a week to truly became one of them. It wasn’t just Inuzuka now - no, even that would have been too easy in comparison -, Rasengan was always surrounded by people.

Whether it was in class, during break time, in the cafeteria, at the washrooms, and even on the way to the subway, Rasengan was never alone. It was as if fate has decided to take away from Sasuke any possibility to talk to him.

His happy-go-lucky attitude, the honesty gleaming if his eyes, that damn smile that never seemed to leave him, even his laugh seemed to be contagious. There was something in Naruto, as in Rasengan, that you couldn’t help but notice, that made you wanting to be closer to him.

And just like Shino, who had mysteriously started to hand out more and more band stickers, Sasuke Uchiha had started to spend more and more time in the cafeteria, a place that Naruto and his clique seemed to be particularly fond of. It was their headquarters to him, Inuzuka, Nara, Sakura and many others.

And it was there that their very first interaction took place.

For once, Sasuke wasn’t even listening to their conversation: the hot drink machine had just been replaced and he was just trying to order a coffee.

« Yeah, you may not know it but it’s been six years since Mister Naruto has gone into that Youtube thing. »

The black-haired man’s sixth sense leapt up and, now paying way more attention to the conversation, pressed whatever first button within his reach.

« Ah, you say that, Kiba, but I might have a fan here ! »

Boom, boom.

It seemed to Sasuke that all eyes in the room had just laid on him - as if his moment to enter the stage had finally arrived.

But no: no one - literally no one - not even that harpy Ino or even Sakura were paying the slightest attention to him.

Everyone was watching Naruto.

« Pffft if it’s true, I’ll pay you lunch - Kiba giggled and turned towards the other tables of the cafeteria - Hey people, a star is among us! Does anyone recognize him? »

The entire cafeteria turned towards the blond videomaker who, not in the slightest embarrassed, had even stood up with a big grin on his face.

Sasuke hesitated for a moment before daring to do the same and looked at Rasengan.

A few seconds passed without a single voice being heard.

« Come on, nobody? - Kiba laughed - Ino dear? Saku darling? »

The two young women rolled their eyes before the nickname but ultimately shook their heads.

« Mr. Hatake perhaps? »

The teacher, who had come inside to get a snack, scratched his cheek before answering in the negative too. His knowledge in terms of videos were of a completely different kind.

With a triumphal grin, Kiba’s eyes wandered over all the students facing them, one by one, before stopping on the only one who hadn’t reacted yet.. - the opportunity was way too good.

« Well now, Sasuke? I think you’re his last hope. »

That was it.

His moment had finally arrived.

All eyes, including Rasengan’s, instantly laid upon him. They were hung upon his every word.

But Sasuke, once again, had just drowned into the silent contemplation of the blonde. But that time - it wasn’t about those blue, blue eyes, it was because of beautifully tanned skin.

They were now near the end of October, but it was as if he had just come back from vacation. It was almost indecent.

Luckily for him, the group had no idea of what was really going inside his head. They’ve all known Sasuke for most of their teenage years so the reason why he was looking at Naruto up and down was only because of that perfect opportunity to grow his momentum.

He was such a smart ass.

« Mhh no, I never saw your face before. »

Boom, boom.

Sasuke cursed himself for being such a coward, but there was no way he could make such a confession in front of the others - and certainly not in front of that stupid Inuzuka.

The group laughed as they saw Naruto’s sulky face.

« Hey ! - the student with the tousled blond hair tried in vain to defend himself - you can laugh all ya want! In the meantime, my channel is really growing ya know. I almost have four hundred thousand subscribers. That’s near half a million! »

The laughter doubled in intensity. Defeated, Naruto finally sat down with a sigh.

« You won’t say the same in a few months, you’ll see! »

The coffee machine made a jingling sound behind Sasuke, still under the shock of what had just happened, he took the cup of disgusting green tea and promptly left the cafeteria. He tried his best to keep a steady walk.

He still couldn’t believe it : he had just talked to Rasengan.

And it hadn’t went that bad.

**

Their first real discussion only happened few days later. And once again, Sasuke couldn’t have predict it.

When he had arrived at the uni, he’d been displeased to see a herd of students clustered in front of the bulletin board. It could only mean one thing: the results of the mid-term exams were in.

Oh.

His overall average had increased by half a point since his last semester - not so bad. And unsurprisingly, he was once again valedictorian, although the Nara was getting closer and closer to him.

He was seriously going to be wary of him.

His onyx gaze moved up on the list - just in case…

Found it.

Naruto. Uzumaki Naruto.

The name right after his.

For an overall average of nine…-

« Ninety-nine, a voice suddenly came from behind him and he jumped. SHIT! I was almost there. »

With frowned brows, Naruto took a good second to notice the presence of the model student.

« Oh, hey Sasuke! »

He had greeted him casually, a thousand miles away from suspecting what the dark-haired young man felt when he heard his name come out of his lips.

« I’m not passing, but I’m reaaally close to it. That should do it for the semester !, smiled the blonde, rubbing the back of his neck. What 'bout ya? »

That was it.

It was time to find something cool to respond to, something biting, intriguing. Something that came out of the ordinary. But without overdoing it.

…

In the end, Sasuke had to bring himself to state his result flatly.

«  Seventeen zero three.

- Oh shit, Naruto’s mouth opened wide. You’re actually pretty smart!

- …Yeah. »

Once again, Sasuke mentally cursed himself. It was really the only thing he could find.

However, Naruto didn’t seem to mind and the Uchiha’s overconfidence even made him chuckle.

Needless to say, after that Sasuke was on cloud nine the entire day.

**

Ting.

Sasuke took another sip of tomato juice before lowering his word processor window to open his web browser. He had this annoying habit of always leaving a facebook tab open, just in case.

Shino Aburame invites you to the following event…

Shino Aburame?

Uchiha arched an eyebrow, puzzled - he didn’t even know how that guy had ended up in his friends list. He clicked on the notification and almost choked when he saw what it was all about:

Shino Aburame invites you to the following event: Radioactive Worms concert on November 5th 8:30pm - Coffee Rokudaime.

…

Thanks, but no thanks.

The mouse pointer was about to click on the “Ignore” button on its’ own initiative when a crucial piece of information suddenly jumped out at him: 13 of your contacts are interested.

Well.

Before refusing for good, he could at least do a quick check.

A satisfied smile stretched his lips as he recognized among those names that of Kiba Inuzuka - a first.

Because if ’Naruto Uzumaki’ was nowhere to be find on Facebook, Sasuke knew at least where to find him in town: always in company of that loser.

**

Sasuke was late, fashionably late - the concert had already started for at least fifteen minutes. Suigetsu, who was dragging his feet behind him, cursed as soon as the first notes of music reached their ears. Well, to his defense, Sasuke had left him little choice - he had come to fetch his old fencing buddy at home, claiming a sudden urge to go for a drink and insisted on not going to the bar that was just in his street, choosing instead to make him walk three kilometers.

And the least that could be said was that Radioactive Worms was a very appropriate name.

Sasuke promised Suigetsu to buy him a drink as they soon as they could reach the counter. He somewhat felt quite sorry for the silver-haired young man, knowing how much he liked electro music, but - hey, he really needed an alibi.

There was no way he could look like a geek with no social life when he’d run into the entire Uzumaki gang -no.

Sacrifices had to be made.

And the gang really couldn’t get unnoticed : Kiba, Konohamaru and Lee (what the hell was Lee Rock doing here?), glued to the front of the stage, were already doing some weird kind of pogo dancing.

Sasuke squinted his eyes - there was no trace of the characteristic blonde hair he was looking for.

« Woh Sasuke, I can’t believe it! Is that Rasengan at the bar? »

This news had the effect of a bomb for Sasuke who promptly followed Suigetsu’s finger… to see Naruto ordering a mug of beer. The dark-haired young man took a deep breath before he walked with a decided step towards the videomaker, without even taking the time to answer his friend. He had finally managed to get rid of the dimwits, it was now or never!

« Oh, hey Sasuke! - Naruto was finally the one who started the discussion when he sensed a presence behind him - I didn’t know you were a fan of metal! »

'I didn’t either’, he failed to retort in time, while Suigetsu (who obviously felt obliged to follow him) was looking at him in awe.

The Hozuki was one of the few people who knew about Sasuke’s special appeal… to the blond guy’s videos. In fact, he’d had that bad habit of teasing him about so-called crush for a really long time. It happened so much that the upset Uchiha had swore never to confide in him again.

Suigetsu was therefore too shocked to learn that Sasuke knew freaking Rasengan to realize that he’d been shamelessly used.

« Yeah… - Sasuke cleared his throat, still uncomfortable in his company. You’re not with the others?

- Well, I’ll join them - the azure eyes looked at his friends and he laughed heartily when he saw them form a scramble - but first, I’m enjoying the happy-hour: half a pint for barely three dollars, can you believe it? »

Naruto finally seemed to notice the presence of Suigetsu who had been staring at him for a good thirty seconds.

« You two should hurry and order now! There’s only two minutes left - Naruto took a long sip before continuing - I’ll finish mine quickly to take another one in time!

- Oh cool, replied Sasuke distractedly as he couldn’t take his eyes off the beer-soaked lips of his interlocutor. »

The dark-haired man tried his best to ignore his friend’s mocking look when he obeyed the blond’s recommendations and ordered a pint for himself. Suigetsu knew how much the brunette hated beer, he was more the type to order only expensive cocktails.

Well - now he really had to get rid of him too.

Sasuke’s prayers were answered when a vaguely familiar face appeared, almost providentially.

« Suig, he raised his head to follow his friend’s gaze. Isn’t it Karin ?

- Oh, Suigetsu leapt up to his feet. I’ll be right back. »

'Liar,’ thought Sasuke, noticing that his fencing companion had taken the time do disappear with his own mug.

Well, at least Suigetsu had been taking cared of.

« His girlfriend?, asked a surprised Naruto as he looked at the pair in the distance, talking with animation.

- Or his ex, I don’t know. It’s hard to follow.

- Pfff! - the blonde snorted and took another sip - Girls…

- Yeah… »

Sasuke felt like slapping himself. Girls, yeah - as if he knew that sort of things.

Fortunately, Naruto didn’t seem to notice his discomfort and he started to list with great passion the reasons why he preferred beer to any other alcohol.

« And what’s more… Well - without beer… There wouldn’t be beer-pong!, he concluded proudly. »

If the brunette had been listening to his interlocutor’s account with an almost religious attention until then - for fuck’s sake, he was having a drink with Rasengan! - the latter point made him raise an eyebrow.

It was completely stupid.

All you had to do was replace the beer with vodka in the cups.

For a long had he been drinking?

Well - Sasuke chose not to share that last thought with the blond guy. To be fair, he wouldn’t have had the time anyway: Kiba Inuzuka had just arrived at their level and slapped Naruto in the back.

« What are you waiting for ?, the student was out of breath: his cheeks were red and he oozed of transpiration. »

Sasuke wrinkled his nose but once again wisely refrained himself from making a comment.

« I’m coming! Let me finish my drink and… -

- Nah, too late - his friend cut him off. I’m tired, let me rest for a bit… »

The gifted dancer was about to slump on the seat left vacant by Suigetsu when Naruto put his arm forward to block his way.

He looked at his friend up and down :

« Sorry, Kiba, it’s hotties only. »

…

Needless to say, Sasuke was over the moon.

Unfortunately, it was just a joke and Kiba ended up joining them.

**

The next morning, Sasuke woke up with an awful headache. It wasn’t caused by any alcohol abuse (Kiba and Naruto had fought to finish his beer), but by the performance of Radioactive Worms.

Holy crap - Shino.

The latter had ended up shirtless on stage while Naruto had dragged him into what turned out to be their first pogo-dance to the both of them.

The young man stretched out his hand on his bedside table to retrieve his cell phone. It was blinking: a facebook notification.

Menma Namikaze would like to add you to his list of friends.

Rightfully, Sasuke was about to decline the invitation when his pulse quickened: that damn smile - he was just getting to know it too well.

Click.

Sasuke Uchiha now had the honor of counting Rasengan among his Facebook contacts. And in order to celebrate it, he logically began to analyze every single piece of information available.

Menma Namikaze (what the hell was that fake name) had nearly eight hundred friends, was from Uzushio and had entered Konoha as his 'current city’ two weeks earlier. He was born on October 10th and his profile was full of selfies and embarrassing stuff.

But it was his profile picture, in particular, that caught Sasuke’s attention: sunglasses, a straw hat, longer hair, a luscious tan and a cocktail glass in his hand : Kiba’s comment summed it up nicely - ’god, you’re such a poser’ - although the ocean in the background was absolutely breathtaking, the only thing that Sasuke could focus on was the stunning smile on his new contact’s face.

As well as the fact that he was shirtless.

’why’s your name menma now’ - Sasuke was scrolling through the various messages under the publication (almost all of them were trying to make fun of the blond’s selfie) when he stopped on this one.

Excellent question.

Fortunately, Kiba had the perfect answer:

’mister naruto is afraid his fans could find his account’

’yeah, he’s got a big head now that’s what the hat’s for!’

…

Ah.

**

Ting.

That new notification wasn’t from Naruto, but from Rasengan. He had just uploaded a new video and Sasuke, like the dutiful fan he was, closed his spreadsheet to put Youtube in full screen.

« Heyyyy everyone! »

It was much less personal than 'Sasuke’.

« I made that promise long ago, so let’s get back to this cult game! Let’s see if Kyuubi will come first in the agility race this time. »

What the.

Nintendogs.

A video about Nintendogs.

A forty-minute video about Nintendogs.

As strange as it may seem, it was precisely for this kind of thing that Sasuke had started following the video maker. It was impossible to predict what he had in mind and what he was about to do or say. Deep down, as long as Rasengan kept making him laugh, telling crappy jokes and yelling stupidly whenever something took him by surprise, Sasuke didn’t care about what was the video. Rasengan wasn’t necessarily there to please his fans, he was there to have fun.

The first time he had came across his channel, about five years ago, it was by pure chance: Sasuke wanted to buy an indie game that nobody had taken the time to test so he had clicked on the first horrendous orange thumbnail he had seen. At that time, Rasengan wasn’t doing any face-cam and Sasuke would have closed the page if the idiot making the video hadn’t started screaming from the first second. The sound was really saturated, he must have lost some of his hearing that day, but at least the video was in his language.

So he had stayed. And without realizing it - he had started commenting out loud on what the video maker was doing. Criticizing him for not paying enough attention to the the npc, advising him to save before getting into new fights.

Yelling at him to be more careful and to stop rushing into the heap like an fucking moron.

A few days later, he had returned to the then-two thousand subscribers’ page with to see if he had made progress in the story.

The following days, too. But not for the same game.

Still - it had taken him almost two years of weekly visits to subscribe.

Months after, Rasengan had finally agreed to show his face to the camera to celebrate his 10,000 subscribers - and all the comments in that video were still to that day about how cute he looked.

And that was when Sasuke had mysteriously became a very regular viewer.

In the end, the forty minutes of the video went by way too quickly.

[nerdsies]

Impossible

requested by @there-goes-my-sanity

Ship: Albert x reader

Era: modern, college AU

Warnings: language, mild angst

Word Count: 1293

Prompt: #92 — “For some reason, I’m attracted to you”

spacing is weird cuz i wrote it on google docs and then c/p here i’m sorry

I fold my arms. Don’t let him get to you. “You can’t just saunter into a room like you own the place, make an off-handed suggestion, and expect everyone to drop everything and listen to you.”

“Can’t I?” Albert leans closer, hands pressed against the table. “Because it looks like I just did, and everything worked out just fine for me.”

“You’re impossible.” I slam my fist against the table to emphasize my point and storm out of the room.

“Hey,” says Finch, turning as I march by him. “Why so...you?”

“Ask him.” I jerk my thumb in the direction of their shared dorm bedroom. “I can’t believe the university stuck you with him for another year.”

“He’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad?” I echo. “Are you insane? Do you have any idea what he just did?”

“I’m sure you’ll tell me,” says Finch monotonously, rolling his eyes.

I take a deep breath to calm down. Albert has yet to emerge from the room, and I figure I have about a minute until I have to see his stupid face again. “So I’m in the middle of study group, right? And we’re working on this impossible problem and we’ve been going at it for, like, twenty minutes and we’re finally getting to the answer, and that jackass—” I gesture to the door “—waltzes in and starts hitting on my study group! And of course, because he’s got perfect hair and sparkling eyes and a dazzling smile, they all immediately forget about the question and giggle and chat and get lost in the fact that his eyes are the colour of a goddamn ocean during sunrise and how his stupid smirk makes you feel like the only person who matters and—”

“Damn.” Finch raises an eyebrow. “You’re laying on those compliments pretty thick.”

“Excuse me?”

“Sparkling eyes? Ocean during sunrise?”

“Don’t forget the perfect hair and dazzling smile,” says Albert, leaning against the threshold and smirking.

“Fuck off, both of you.” I grab my bag from their couch. “Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the library to study. I’m not sure either of you know, but I didn’t have a great study session today.”

“That’s too bad.” Albert pouts mockingly. “Guess you’ll have to drop out. The campus would be so much nicer without you bitterly sulking around every corner.”

“I’m much more preferable compared to your insufferable ass appearing out of nowhere and acting like you’re some kind of gift from God.”

“Dweeb.”

“Dickhead.”

“Bitch.”

“Asshole.”

“Okay!” Finch raises his hands. “Jesus Christ, you guys. It’s been two years. Can’t you just get along?”

“We’ll get along when Hell freezes over,” says Albert.

“Tell your roommate to be an entirely different person, and then we’ll talk,” I tell Finch.

“Bye, (y/n),” says Finch pointedly, pushing me out of the dorm.

I turn to give Albert one last death-glare before I go. He reciprocates with a tasteful gesture, but I catch a glimpse of something else on his face as Finch shuts the door.

Minutes turned to hours as I study, and by the time I tune back into my surroundings, one of the student workers is telling everyone the library is closing in 10 minutes. I pack up my laptop and notes and plethora of papers, pull on my jacket, and head for the exit. It’s dark outside, a half-moon glowing in the sky and the dim lamps fluttering along the walls. I know books romanticize campus at night, but it’s absolutely terrifying and I’m at least 80% sure that I’m going to get mugged walking back to my dorm.

I pull out my phone and text Finch.

Lost track of time @ library. Hella dark. Knight in shining armour?

Your knight’s on his way.

I send a smiley face and slip my hands into my pockets. I rock back and forth on the balls of my feet as I watch people pass; none of them look particularly threatening but I need to keep my wits about me.

“Alright,” says an annoyed voice, “let’s go.”

I turn to see none other than Albert DaSilva, aka the last person I want to see, walking towards me.

I look around. “Are you talking to me?”

“Duh.”

“You’ve got to be joking.” I cross my arms. “I told Finch to come and get me.”

“No, you asked for a knight in shining armour. Apparently, that means me.”

“In your dreams,” I say. “I don’t trust you to walk me to my dorm and get me there in one piece.”

“A wise decision, really.” He grins. “Unfortunately, Finch is annoyingly insistent. C’mon, the faster we get you home, the faster we can forget this ever happened.”

I sigh and follow Albert as he walks off. We walk in silence for awhile, but I don’t really like it. I’m not used to him being so...quiet.

“Hey, God? It’s me. If you’re up there, feel free to just...smite me. Right now. Lightning is best, but I’m not picky.”

“You’re so dramatic,” says Albert.

“You’re so annoying,” I retort.

“You’re so pathetic. You can’t even find any clever insults.”

“Clever insults?” I laugh dryly. “You want a clever insult, you damned and luxurious mountain goat? You scurvy politician, you damned doorkeeper to every custrel that comes inquiring, you cream-faced loon? Where got’st thou that goose look?”

Albert has the nerve to laugh. “I love it when you talk Shakespearean to me.”

I roll my eyes. “Yeah. Whatever.”

“C’mon, princess. Hit me with some more.”

“Stop talking.” We’ve finally reached my dorm, and I search my bag for my key. “Thanks for the escort, Albert. You can go.”

“Without making sure you’re safely inside? Absolutely not.”

I groan. “Alright, out with it.”

“Out with what?”

“You’re even more of a douchebag as of late than you used to be, and I didn’t think that was possible. So, out with it. What’s new?”

“Nothing,” he says, but I can tell he’s lying.

“Tell me what’s going on,” I demand. “I won’t judge...at least, not a lot. C’mon, it’s driving me crazy. Just tell me the truth.”

“You want the truth?” Albert crosses his arms and leans against the brick wall. “I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s ridiculous. Since I met you last year, I’ve seen you as competition. Somebody to fight and beat and fight again. But lately I keep thinking about you even when I’m not trying to one-up you. I keep wanting to sit with you in the dining hall. I want to study with you in the library. I actually want to listen when you talk about whatever stupid thing it is that you’re obsessed with. For some reason, I’m attracted to you, and it’s driving me absolutely fucking crazy, ‘cause I’m absolutely fucking crazy about you.”

My hand is frozen, my key half-turned in the lock.

“Anyway, don’t worry about it.” Albert runs a hand through his hair. “I’m working on getting you out of my head.”

“You, uh…” I clear my throat. “You don’t have to do that.”

Albert raises an eyebrow. “Oh yeah?”

I shrug. “I mean...I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t been thinking about you in a non-competitive way, too.”

He smirks. “Is that so?”

I roll my eyes. “You’re impossible.”

“Impossibly irresistible, it seems.” His eyes sparkle as he reaches out and tucks a strand of hair behind my ear. “Goodnight, (y/n). I’ll see you tomorrow.” He leans down and kisses my cheek softly before giving me a wink and pulling up his hood, walking off into the night.

“Goodnight,” I manage, once my vocal cords remember to work. I open the door to my dorm and shut it behind me, leaning against the strong wood.

“You look happy,” says my roommate. “Cute date?”

I can’t help but smile. “Something like that.”

[rockinthebeastmode]

Firestarter IV

A/N: Finishing this up took all night—not sure why as it’s nothing to write home about. Side note, I was worried writing the final scenes wouldn’t knock the word count above 2K and lo and behold, it’s almost 3K instead 😂 I hope you enjoy! it’s only downhill from here

Firestarter I   Firestarter II   Firestarter III

You can find Sleep here: I  II  III

You can find the rest of my fics here.

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Let me know if you want to be added/removed from the tag list and if I missed anyone :)

Firestarter IV

I need to be myself… I can’t be no one else

Finn reached and turned the music up before returning his attention to a cloudy mirror on the wall. He irritably adjusted his hair, squinting in the firelight.

He was due to pick Rae up in ten minutes—given she could sneak out successfully. He didn’t doubt her abilities but his stomach twisted with nerves. He was completely bricking it.

He’d spent the day getting ready, washing his bike and polishing his spare helmet—as if Rae could notice these tiny differences. He didn’t want her to be put off of him in any way; he wanted to impress her so much.

Finn was counting the days (or hours, really) he had with her and Archie and Chop. He wanted to make the most of his freedom, spend as much time with sound, cool people before he was locked up. He wanted to put his past behind him but it continued to hold a vice grip over him.

His scorched house almost mocked him as it stood, its remains like a beacon of sin. He saw his mother around every corner, unable to shake the thought of her and that day and the bullshit he was stuck in now.

He shook his head, his brows furrowing as he closed his eyes and tried to clear his mind. He didn’t need to be getting himself worked up on a night like this. Tonight was all about him, his mates, the bonfire, and Rae.

***

Finn slowed as he approached Rae’s house, keeping close to the street. He noticed only a couple lights were on, one coming from Rae’s bedroom. Her silhouette passed the window and the light went off. He waited with baited breath for her to exit the house. He bit his cheek as the seconds ticked on until she came out of the darkness, barely visible if not for the laces of her converse and her pale skin showing above her top.

He forced his eyes off of her chest, both grinning as she reached him and said, ‘Hiya,’ breathlessly. He offered his spare helmet, swallowing hard as she climbed on behind him and he took off a moment later.

Finn’s stomach fluttered with butterflies as Rae’s hands clasped on his stomach. He breathed deep and blinked to focus on the road. When they passed the town limits, he sped up, her arms tightening around him.

“She’s gonna make me crash,” he mused, biting back a grin.

He could hear and see the party as they approached, music blasting and lights scattered and strung up. The fire site was piled high and ready to be lit.

He parked between Archie and Chop’s cars and tried not to pout as Rae let go of him and gracefully dismounted the bike. He stood hastily to help Rae take off her helmet, her tongue sticking out at him as she fixed her hair and adjusted her clothes. He couldn’t help giving her a once over, his staring shortly interrupted by Chop.

“Finny! You’re just in time,” he crowed, throwing an arm around his shoulders, “Need you to do the honors.” He nodded to the fire site, a gap-toothed grin stretching across his face.

Finn breathed an anxious laugh, stepping from Chop’s hold towards the site. He knelt beside it, biting his lip as he held a lighter to the kindling. He watched the flames grow, keeping close to the powerful warmth before taking a deep breath and a step back. He felt Rae’s arm link with his and Archie’s hand gripping his shoulder securely and they stood together to watch the fire rise and build.

The song changing on the speakers broke their reverie, Finn and Rae exchanging disgusted looks at the sound. She asked Chop where the music was and a moment later, she was dragging Finn by his flannel, Archie and Chop laughing behind them.

She let go of him when they reached the stereo but he stayed close, their arms brushing as she flipped through CDs. He had a feeling she’d take the piss out of any of his choices so he leaned in to whisper in her ear.

“What’re you drinking, girl?”

She tensed at his breath on her neck but smiled and turned to him, their faces close.

“Dunno...whatever you’re drinking,” she said, biting her lip at his answering smirk.

“Vodka?”

She nodded and he backed up a step, holding her gaze before turning towards the booze.

As he walked through all the people, he watched the fire, it’s size rivaling all bonfires from years past. He reckoned it wasn’t smart or good for a bunch of teenagers to hold a huge party with fire and alcohol but no one had stopped them yet.

He reached the drinks and pursed his lips as he looked for an untouched bottle of vodka. Archie’s hand came from the side and plucked one near the back, holding it out to him.

Finn clapped a hand to his shoulder as he took it, giving him a smile before gesturing to the party.

“So far, so good, eh?” Archie snorted and pointed at him.

“Don’t fucking jinx it.” His eyes left Finn to something behind him and he turned to see a few more cars pulling up and parking. Archie groaned and shook his head at the sight, Finn swallowing hard.

“And the drugs have arrived,” Archie droned, rolling his eyes.

They watched the group approach the fire and Finn recognized Stacey to the side, Macca’s arm around her neck. He frowned when he spotted Simmy with them, he and Macca locked in conversation. He opened his mouth to say something to Archie when someone moved and Kendo was revealed, Finn stiffening and lowering his head. Archie grabbed his shoulder, starting to push him away.

“You’d better move on, Finn, y’know Kendo’s on it lately...think business has been off.”

Finn nodded, his stomach dropping as he realized Kendo was most likely Simmy’s boss—and fuck if he was gonna do anything to help that motherfucker.

He left Archie’s side, making a beeline for Rae with the vodka clenched in his fist.

She was bent at the waist changing the CD when he reached her and he felt his mouth water at her skirt pulled tight over her arse. She stood and turned around, a swing to her hips as the music restarted. Their eyes met and hers lit up when he raised the vodka bottle and shook it with a crooked grin.

Finn opened the bottle and took a long swig, grimacing with a grunt as he handed it to Rae. He watched her throat as she swallowed, his gaze running over her. Rae sighed roughly as she lowered the bottle and closed it, sharing a smile with Finn. He waved a hand at the stereo, his brows waggling.

“Decent choice in tunes,” he offered, Rae giving him a smug look.

“It’s too bad all the reggae’s gone missing,” she teased, Finn barking a laugh.

“I’m sure you had nothing to do with that,” he retorted, his smile widening as she shrugged, her lips curling into a smirk.

His face dropped when he glanced behind them, seeing Simmy and Kendo standing nearby. He reached forward and ran a hand over Rae’s, slightly entwining their fingers.

“Wanna go for a walk?”

*** “Leave off, Chopper.”

“C’mon, Finn, everyone knows—“

“We’re not shagging!”

What was so fucking hard to understand about he and Stacey being just mates?

Chop raised a brow and Finn briefly considered hitting him when Archie rushed over, grabbing his arm.

“Barney just saw Stacey and Kendo head off into the woods,” he explained quickly.

“She can handle herself,” Finn scoffed, Archie shaking his head before he’d finished.

“He put something in her drink.”

Archie and Chop stood alone a second later, Finn going towards the trees at a sprint. He tried tuning out the loud music behind him, listening for anything amiss ahead of him. He thought he heard a high pitched moan, followed by shushing and he sped up, his eyes scanning the darkness.

Finn came up on a clearing, the moonlight making two forms barely visible. He recognized Kendo’s insufferable grin, Stacey slumped against him, pale and shivering in only her skirt and bra.

He saw red, his vision tunneling to see his hands pulling Stacey to the side and landing a solid punch to the side of Kendo’s head with a sickening crack, his body dropping to the side. He fell to his knees, gathering him up by the collar and holding him face to face.

“The fuck, Nelson—“

“It’s real easy taking advantage of a girl, innit?” Finn’s teeth gritted as he leaned in further, “Get the fuck outta here before I curl you up.”

As much as Finn wanted to beat the absolute shit out of him, Stacey’s shaking form kept him in line and he shook out his hand as Kendo scurried away, hand over his bloodied and swollen cheek.

“Finn?”

He tried to calm his hammering heartbeat as he went to her, shrugging off his jacket, throwing it around her and pulling her close. She continued to shake with repressed sobs, slowly giving in and breaking down as Finn ran a hand through her tousled hair.

His eyes squeezed shut and she cried into his neck quietly before pulling away, trying to smile despite her dazed and frightened state.

“How’d you know?”

“Best mate powers,” he whispered, tapping the side of his head and grinning as she sobbed a laugh. He wiped a final tear away, his hand holding her cheek and looking her face over.

“Y’alright?”

Stacey remained quiet as they met eyes, her brow lowering as she stared. He licked his lips and her eyes followed the movement. Finn felt breathless as she leaned closer and whispered into the silence.

“I am now.”

***

Finn kept his hold on Rae’s hand as they walked, aimlessly following a worn path on the forest floor. He glanced over at her as they reached a small pond and started around it.

“I’m glad you came...I would’ve been gutted if you couldn’t,” he began, his ears burning lightly at his admission. Rae squeezed his hand and they shared a smile.

“Me too,” she replied, “S’pose hanging with you beats reading.”

“Oh, y’mean those little books all over your room? Romance novels, aren’t they?” Finn leaned into her, wiggling his brows.

Rae smacked his arm, a blush darkening her cheeks and he laughed, stopping them and pulling her closer.

“Should read one to me sometime,” he said smoothly, Rae narrowing her eyes at him with a reluctant smile.

“You’re such a prick--”

Finn dropped the bottle and leaned in, pressing his lips to hers. Her surprised hum vibrated against him before she grasped his shirt in her fist and pulled him closer. His hand went to her cheek and held her face to his, the kiss deepening. When Rae’s tongue ran over his bottom lip, he forced himself to pull away, both catching their breath. She laughed and bit back a smirk.

“It’s about time y’did that,” she murmured, Finn’s brows raising with a slow grin.

“That was just to shut you up,” he said, his grin widening as she scoffed and rolled her eyes.

He kissed her again, his hand moving from her cheek to her hair, his fingers running through and holding the back of her neck. His tongue swiped along her lips and her lips parted, her hands squeezing his arms before moving to his shoulders.

“What was that one for?” she asked as she pulled away slightly. He smirked against her mouth.

“Because I wanted to,” he said, his hands moving to her hips, “D’ya think we should head back?” Rae half shrugged, a cheeky smile slowly forming.

“We could...or—“ she stopped, her hands lightly pushing his chest. He grinned as he stumbled back a step into a tree, Rae’s arms encircling his neck.

***

When they returned from the woods, the party had calmed down from its initial hype and there was the scent of spliff and booze everywhere they turned. Rae and Finn went towards the rest of the gang at the other end of the site when Simmy stepped in front of Finn, stopping him in his tracks. Rae looked between them curiously and he waved her ahead.

“I’ll catch up with you,” he said quickly, forcing a smile and biting his cheek as she nodded and walked away. Simmy grasped his shoulder, his fingers tightening as Finn scowled at him.

“You make a decision, Nelson?” he asked bluntly, his brow furrowing when Finn shook his head. He tried to backtrack when Simmy’s eyes flashed.

“Give me a couple more days, mate...got some shit to handle, you know how it is,” he appeased, clearing his throat at Simmy’s visible scepticism.

“Two days. I’ll ring you.”

With that, he stalked away toward his mates and Finn shook his head, a low groan emerging from his throat before he walked to the gang, taking a shot as he went.

As he reached them, Chop and Izzy bounced away to several dancing couples next to the fire, Chloe following and tugging Archie along with her. He exchanged amused glances with Rae as he handed her the bottle, the warmth of the alcohol and Rae’s smile running through his body. She choked slightly when his hand went to her waist, his fingers tickling her side.

“Fancy a dance?”

Her eyes narrowed and her lips pursed like he was joking but he remained steady-eyed, a smile playing on his lips. Her lips flattened and she nodded, letting Finn take the bottle from her grip and lower it to the ground. He led them towards the side of the crowd and settled his hands on her hips, biting his lip as her hands went to his shoulders and ran up to his hair and the nape of his neck. He pulled her close, inhaling sharply as their chests met. They swayed to the beat, their eyes low but continually rising to meet. His face and ears burned from her touch, her fingers slowly running along his neck. They grew closer and he felt her lips against his cheek, his eyes closing. They shot open when he heard a familiar sniggering behind them, Stacey’s voice slicing into him.

“You’re not gonna introduce me, Finn?”

“Wasn’t planning to, no,” he replied dryly, his eyes shifting from Rae’s to glance at them.

He shuffled them further away as Stacey laughed scornfully, Rae looking at him questioningly. He lightly cleared his throat, his ears burning anew.

“Stacey, don’t—“ Macca sighed, stopping short when she threw him a thunderous glare.

“Shut up,” she snapped before turning to Rae with a saccharine smirk, “I’d be careful, love. Nelson moves on fast.” Her mouth opened to speak again and Finn cut her off.

“Fuck off,” he almost growled, glaring severely and continuing to move. Rae began to pull away.

“D’ya reckon he mentioned having one off with me last week?” Stacey asked Macca loudly, scrunching her nose.

People dancing nearby started to look over and she grinned as Rae stepped back from him fully and started to walk away swiftly.

Finn barely spared the two a glance, a frustrated groan escaping him before he took off after Rae.

“Rae, wait,” he called out, huffing as she continued walking away, “I’m sorry, it didn’t mean anything—“

She stopped and whipped around, Finn suddenly right in front of her. He reached out and she crossed her arms.

“Who is she?” she asked lowly, an irritated twist to her mouth. Finn shook his head and bit his lip.

“She’s just a friend.”

“A friend you fucked,” she pointed out, Finn grimacing at the barbs in her tone.

“We used to go out…” She started to walk away again and he grabbed her hand and pulled her back. “We grew up together, Rae, but we’re not together anymore,” he pleaded, entwining their fingers though she continued to frown at him, “You have to believe me.”

“Why should I?” she spat, her eyes shining in the moonlight. He stared into her eyes, moving as close as he dared.

“You know me,” he paused and Rae sighed, looking to the side, “You know the real me.”

She stepped away, attempting to distance herself from his intense gaze.

“The real you? I don’t know you at all,” she replied, her lips flattening, “And you don’t know me.”

“I wanna know you.”

She shook her head and started to turn back towards the party when he rushed forward and kissed her. She stiffened but responded after a moment, her hands gripping his biceps.

“You’re a dickhead,” she whispered against his lips, her eyes fluttering open. Finn wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed their foreheads together.

“You’re the dickhead.”

Thanks for reading! As a lil bonus, here’s a sneak peek from the first part of Night Shift 😏

Rae blew out a sigh as she closed her front door, falling back against it and closing her eyes. What a night.

Not bad overall, which was surprising. She’d expected to be miserably bored the entire time but the bloke who came in towards the end redeemed the night.

Finn...who the fuck was he?

Stamford wasn’t exactly a metropolis so she wondered how she’d never crossed paths with him before. She guessed he was around her age but he did have a bit of a young face...underneath all the blood.

She half hoped she’d see him again, to have a second chance to riddle him out. His injuries were concerning but he didn’t seem dangerous...more like he held his own.

And the money…

Rae didn’t plan on keeping it. She didn’t feel deserving of it, given her immediate rudeness. Not to mention the coffee switch. She smirked, the thought of Finn laying wide awake at 6am countering his cheek.

“Chloe?”

Silence met her call and she couldn’t help but frown as she dropped her bag to the side and shuffled deeper into the flat.