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writingonsaturn · 3 years ago

Text

Better Unsaid

a/n okay this has been all over the place!! it was originally going to be a blurb and darker and closer to smutty (so keep your eyes out for that??? lol), but then I made it softer and the concept got away from me and it got soooo much longer than expected lmao and i still dont love where it ended so maybe part 2?? i have the idea i just dont know lol

summary: Reader is a princess and Anakin has been her guard during the most public season for the past two years (not the most logical thing but just go with it lol, it gets explained better in the fic) and after a near death experience the two are conveniently forced into a....

ONE BED TROPE ONE BED TROPE *cough cough* ONE BED TROPE WITH ONE PERSON HAVING TO WAKE UP THE OTHER BC THEYRE HAVING A NIGHTMARE,, :)))))))

His smugness is the only thing about him I can consider ‘ugly’. And because I am so desperate to not have feeling for Anakin, the Jedi who has been assigned to protect me through coronation season (which lasts for most of winter), for the last two coronation seasons, I hold onto my distaste for that side of him. Which is why I suppress my laugh as he waits for my reaction with that confident smile.

“Come on, that was funny.”

Rolling my eyes, I let myself sit on my bed. I can’t tell if he’s actually funny or if my evening has been so boring that his sense of humor has started to become appealing to me due to comparison. In short, the suitor I was forced to spend an entire evening with lacked personality so much I’m starting to find Anakin funny.

“You’re much more entertaining than this evening’s suitor.”

Anakin’s expression shifts slightly, his assured grin dropping slightly. “Another miss?”

“You have no idea.” I relax slightly, taking a moment to be glad that I completed my father’s request and now I can just enjoy the time I have with Anakin. “I know my father’s desperate to make sure my marriage is useful for our people and that he worries about this selection process because he always thought my mother would be here to help, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t rush it so much. It feels like all he wants me for is to marry me off in exchange of finance or weaponry or something diplomatic.”

“You’re more than that.” His response is so soft I think I might have missed it if I needed it less. I curse myself for feeling so validated by him. His words shouldn’t mean anything to me. After all, he could easily just be saying that because agreeing with my father will just make me more unpleasant to be around.

I smile politely while avoiding his eyes. I keep my hands on either side of me, fighting the urge to fidget. “Thank you, Anakin.” My words sound weak in my own ears, so I’m sure he notices my shift in mood. “I’m tired today, I think I’m going to go to bed early.” Normally, I’d be able to shrug off these kinds of things, but the beginning of Coronation Season makes me irritable. The anniversary of my mother’s death hits me harder each year.

“Y/n.” My name comes out so velvety I can’t find it in myself to interrupt him. “You are more than someone meant to be used as some kind of royal currency, and I mean that as more than just a...friend.”

I let his last word linger. We’ve tried so many titles that never seem to fit right. He’s the chosen one, one of the most powerful Jedi to exist, and the Jedi assigned to protect me each Coronation Season because that’s when my mother was assassinated. He’s my guard, but we’ve spent too many nights laughing together and talking about everything and anything. And I guess now he’s my friend, even though sometimes when he looks at me in a certain way or sits too close to me or reaches for my hand to guide me somewhere I can’t breathe right.

“Anakin, you know I love when you’re here, even though sometimes you drive me insane. And I appreciate your kindness, but your words can’t change the truth. That’s how my father sees me and he’s not exactly wrong. I’m not a son, I haven’t been raised to lead an army or lead much, and--”

“I’ve seen you in meeting after meeting, convention after convention. I’ve witnessed the way you handle real problems and I know how you care about your people. You’d make a great leader, you don’t need a husband to be valuable.”

My chest swells, feelings I never let myself think about mixing with thoughts of Anakin that I’ve spent so long trying to avoid. “That settles it, you’re my favorite person.”

He grins, the look warm enough to melt the odd lump in my throat. I fight down a smile as he steps forward. “And I wasn’t before?”

“I take it back--your head’s big enough without the additional praise.”

Rolling my eyes, I lean back slightly in order to recreate the distance he so easily destroyed. “And I thought you had finally warmed up to me, princess.”

The use of my title makes me skeptical. The last time Anakin used it was when he was trying to ease me so that I’d walk around the palace garden so he had an excuse to do the same. It was beyond late and I was half asleep, but he had os much energy he was desperate and just needed to do one more thing. I felt bad that his schedule revolved so heavily around mine (and when he softens his eyes and says please, I’m left incapable of saying the word ‘no’) so I agreed.

“What do you want?”

Anakin dramatically clutches a hand over his heart. He throws his head back slightly as if he’s just taken a fatal blow. “When did you turn so cynical? I’ve been back for three days and I’m starting to believe you’re a different person now.”

Yeah...he’s definitely getting ready to ask for something that’s more trouble than it’s worth. Then again, everything with him seems to be worth it in some capacity. Even if it’s just that one smile he gets when he’s truly content and doesn’t think anyone’s looking.

“Mhm,” I mumble, still fighting a grin, “so you’re not going to ask me anything?”

His lips part slightly as he exhales. I watch the way his eyes narrow at my victorious expression. “I don’t have anything to ask of you, but I do have a small request. A request so small you won’t have to do anything but say yes.”

Suspicious. Too easy. “You’re unbelievable.”

“You just said I was your favorite person. Remember that.”

I’m too tired for his coyness. I’d rather him make his ridiculous request now so that I can be in bed within the hour. Though I can’t pretend I don’t normally feel better after letting him drag me along on whatever ‘adventure’ he just needed to complete while also not letting me out of his sight. I used to tell him that I wouldn’t tell anyone if I wasn’t under supervision for an hour or two a day, but he dismissed the idea immediately. That’s been the cornerstone of everything.

“What is it?”

He sighs once, tilting his head slightly. The way his eyes soften tells me he’s already won at least half the battle. “They still haven’t caught the attempted--” Anakin pauses, something behind his eyes darkening. I know what he’s remembering. Last night, an assassin had gotten closer than they ever had. I had almost been shot in the garden, Anakin had barely pushed me to the ground in time. A fact he’s been beating himself up for since, especially considering that no one has been able to find my attempted killer yet. “They were so close to you. They were within palace limits and they disappeared like they never existed. Who’s to say they don’t work here and are waiting for the next moment you’re exposed? Who’s to say they aren’t here tonight, waiting for me to retire for the night?”

I didn’t realize how my near death experience had been so personal to him. He, like everyone else, was beyond frantic after it happened. But my father put an end to verbal worry before it could truly begin. He said the best thing we could do was act like everything was fine as the assailant was searched for. Anakin hadn’t been particularly cheery after my father instructed the guards to focus their search on known enemies instead of prioritizing venting the staff closest to me. I comforted him as best as I could, but he didn’t feel like speaking about it and I had to worry about the suitor meeting my father wouldn’t let me cancel.

“Anakin, you’re right next door to me.” I have to fight the urge to reach for him. “I was fine because of you, and I will be fine because of you.”

He sighs once, his expression not easing. “And if the person is silent? The attacker could easily work in the palace, but no one wanted to direct the search inwards.” His words are more strained than I’ve ever heard them be. “I think it’d be smart for me to stay in here. I know you’ve refused having a guard stay in your room or outside your door, but...” Anakin sighs. “Your safety would be more assured.”

Him staying in my room? The only line I’ve ever been allowed to draw, and I’m actually considering letting that go. If he seemed even slightly less sad, I wouldn’t even consider it. It’s not a good idea. I’m already too attached to him. “Anakin--”

“I’d feel more assured.”

Damn him. Stupid, extremely sweet Anakin who makes saying no to him impossible. I stretch my arm forward, letting my hand squeezes his forearm gently. “There’s no reason to not feel assured.” He doesn’t ease, the cloudiness behind his eyes remains stubborn. “You’re still worried.” No reaction, the haze that’s taken him isn’t letting go. “Fine--but tell no one or my father is going to take to posting guards at my door every night.”

...I guess there are worse ways to spend a night. Which is kind of a problem since I’m trying to...enjoy Anakin less. Ugh, I even sound dumb in my head. “I promise, princess.”

Ugh, he’s adorable. “You’re intolerable.” I stand from he foot of my bed and pull back the covers on my bed. He doesn’t reply, something dark still playing for him. I watch him move to face the door. Wait--is he doing what I think he’s doing? “No, you’re not going to stand there all night. You need sleep.” He has the audacity to give me an annoyed look. “I already didn’t want to do this so now you have to listen to my conditions.”

He raises an eyebrow, his lips pressing together oddly. He’s trying to gauge something from my expression, perhaps he’s looking for buttons to press to get his way. I guess I look as stubborn as I feel because instead of arguing he just sits on the floor. What? I watch him cautiously, trying to figure out if this is some weird argument trick.

“What are you doing?”

“What you asked.”

And just like that I’ve put myself in a position that I will no doubt regret terribly the second common sense returns to me. There’s no way to deny that Anakin and I are closer than we probably should be. We’ve felt like friends first since the day we first met. I can’t think of any reason to not offer to let him sleep in my bed except those stupid budding feelings I refuse to label.

It’s not like I actually like him. I can’t--I’m going to be married to some nobleman and he’s prohibited from ever forming attachments. I’m not even sure if we’re allowed to be friends. Having actual feelings for him would be so, so pointless. It would just lead to heartache and the ruining of the one genuine relationship I have. I’m just a tiny bit confused right now because he’s objectively really attractive and he’s always there for me. Always there to make a joke after a particularly rough meeting. Always there to offer me a supportive smile. Always there to humble me when I teeter on acting like my father.

Anyone’s heart would flutter at that, so it doesn’t mean anything. And if it does, I need to squash any budding feelings now before I mess things up. Which is why I should keep him at arm’s length until I get it together. But is that fair to him? And what if doing that is making things worse? What if it’s just reinforcing the idea of having feelings?

This is ridiculous. I’m going to get over this if it kills me. It’s just a bed and it’s only sleeping. I’m meant to be able to lead an entire union and I can’t sleep next to someone and act normal?” “You don’t have to sleep on the floor.”

The second the words leave my mouth I regret it all. What’s wrong with me? Did I seriously think I’d be okay?

I hear his soft exhale, “I’ll be fine. I’ve slept in worse places than on your marble floor.”

His voice sounds so weighted I can’t help but feel bad for not noticing that he’s still bothered. Whether he’s upset about his near miss or the fact that my father didn’t take his advice, I don’t know. But something’s wrong. The easy thing to do would be to just let him sleep it off. The smart thing to do would be to leave him alone until tomorrow.

I think of all the times that I’ve been upset and Anakin had refused to let me go to sleep angry or sad or overwhelmed. “I know, but it’s really not a big deal. It’s not like we don’t know each other. I mean, last Coronation Season you buttoned me into more gowns than my handmaid. And I owe you for saving me from one of the worst suitors I’ve ever had.”

“I’m starting to think we need to develop some kind of signal.”

The tiny bit of lightness that’s returned to his voice makes all of my internal struggle feel worth it. “You always seem to know.”

“That’s because when you’re reaching your limit, that one line appears between your eyebrows.”

I didn’t realize I had such a tell. I try to remember the way that the suitor drawled on and on about how amazing he was and how he couldn’t wait for the day he had a bride to bear his children and plan (tedious) social events. My hand moves to my forehead, trying to feel the crease Anakin mentioned. Can everyone tell when I’m growing tired? Am I that transparent?

Anakin’s slight laugh steals my attention. He’s facing me again, his elbow holding his head up on the foot of my bed. “What are you doing?”

“I don’t--I don’t think i get a crease between my eyebrows when I’m irritated.”

I hear him stand. I don’t realize he’s approaching me until he’s so close I could touch him without even needing. to stretch. “No, when you’re irritated you raise your eyebrows slightly, because that’s when you’re at your most sarcastic.”

“Really?”

The corner of his mouth tugs upwards. “Just like that.” I force myself to keep my expression blank. “When you’re reaching your limit, your eyebrows crease here.” His finger taps the space between my brows so gently I almost don’t realize what he’s doing. “And when you’re trying not to laugh--which is often, because you refuse to admit that I’m funny--you press your lips together in a way that forms a dimple here.” The knuckle of his pointer finger brushes against the bottom of my cheek.

I bite my tongue to fight the warmth spreading across my face. “I didn’t realize i was so transparent.”

“I can’t always tell what you’re thinking.”

“I’ll take it.” Maybe if I was less tired, I’d argue a little more. “You know you’re not that difficult to read either.”

“Really?”

“Yes, I can tell when you’re just being stubborn for the sake of it. I can see it in your eyes and you’re doing it right now.”

His expression harshens slightly before softening. “Y/n--”

“I’m not wrong.”

He sighs once, stepping back. I watch him pace around my bed before taking a seat on the edge of my other side of the bed. “Are you happy now?”

“Happy that I won? Absolutely.”

Anakin halfheartedly glares at me. “Careful, add a crown and a robe that trails down a throne and I’d feel like I was speaking to your father.”

“Careful, another side comment like that and I’ll ‘accidentally’ kick you off the bed in the middle of the night.”

“Not if I kick you off the bed first.”

I trace a thoughtless pattern on the fabric of my bedsheets. “What are you? Twelve?”

“I’m older than you.”

“Barely.” I continue the thoughtless pattern tracing as I fight the sleep from my eyes. “Your comebacks are usually more creative than that.”

He exhales, relaxing slightly as he rests his back against a pillow. “I’m tired, like you claimed to be.” His eyes flutter slightly, a bit of his exhaustion showing. “Go to sleep.”

I should. I’m too old to think I can put off a tomorrow I don’t want by just staying up. This is stupid. I’m too old to think I can put off the anniversary of my mother’s death by going to bed. She had been taken from us on castle grounds, killed by a revolutionist who viewed my mother as a class traitor. I still remember the way she slumped to the ground, her blood staining the snow beneath her. I remember the way the guards were so busy chasing her killer no one thought to keep me away from the body.

“Y/n?”

I scratch the back of my arm in hopes of banishing my thoughts. “Yes?”

“You’re being quiet.”

“You said to go to sleep, that tends to be a quiet thing.”

I can feel his eyes on me. “Since when do you listen to me?” Not trusting myself to actually reply, I only offer him a hum of acknowledgement. “I know you’re not half asleep.”

Folding my hands on my lap, I avoid his gaze. “It’s tomorrow.”

I don’t know why I trust him to understand my vague response, but I do. His silence stretches over us like a thin blanket on a cold night. Maybe he doesn’t understand what I’m implying. I can always correct him tomorrow, when my eyelids are no longer as heavy as my heart. The more seconds that pass in total silence, the more I think that maybe he’s fallen asleep.

I wouldn’t be surprised, Anakin has seemed tired recently, like some additional weight he won’t share with anyone has been thrust onto his shoulders. A small part of me rolls in guilt. I need to be a better friend, just because I’m suddenly a little too aware of him doesn’t mean I can shrug him off and ignore him.

My hand almost flinches away from the feeling of something surprisingly warm touching my pinky. When I realize that it’s just Anakin and that the contact was probably accidental, I force myself to ease. It’s not like we’ve never touched before, I don’t understand why I’m making it weird. Sitting in my bed in the dark doesn’t change anything. His hand turns slightly, pressing into mine a little more assuredly. Biting my tongue, I turn my hand slightly, exposing my palm. And just like that, our fingers intertwine.

“She would have been proud of you.” His voice comes out so low I barely register the words.

The words shouldn’t mean much to me--he never knew my mother and has no way to know what she wanted me to be.--and yet I find comfort in them. I smile, turning my head towards him. “You didn’t even know her.”

He rolls his eyes slightly, relaxing further before squeezing my hand once. “Who wouldn’t be proud of you? You’re kind and smart and decent to be around when you’re not telling me what to do.”

My heart swells in my chest so much I’m surprised it doesn’t burst. Could he be cuter? “Yeah...now I’m sure you’re my favorite person.”

“Now you’re sure?”

The smugness in his voice has me rolling my eyes. “Don’t make me regret saying that.”

“Maybe in the morning,” he says easily, “now go to sleep. There’s nothing worse than escorting you from meeting to meeting while you’re tired.”

“I’m not that bad.” Even in this darkness, I can make out the way he raises an eyebrow. “Shut up--I’m going to sleep, but not because of you.”

He lets out a slight huff. “You’re impossible.”

The desire to respond to his comment is not enough for me to win the fight against the weight of my eyelids. The moment my eyes shut, I feel powerless to anything that isn’t sleep. I let myself fall into a weightless sleep, my only tether being the Anakin’s fingers around mine.

A distant noise yanks me from my sleep. I’m too drowsy to do anything but register the sound. I hear another similar...whine? cry? I can’t tell and I’m too asleep to figure it out. I almost fall asleep again, but a third distressed sound keeps me from it. I wipe my eyes lazily with the back of my hand as I try to sit up.

Squinting, I make out a figure on my bed. It takes me a moment to remember Anakin and how I fell asleep. Our hands are still together and no light is peering through my window so it can’t be that long since I fell asleep. Another disgruntled sound carries itself throughout the room. I shift slightly, leaning over Anakin cautiously.

Golden brown curls are beginning to stick to his forehead and his eyebrows are drawn together sharply. He’s having a nightmare. I shift even further forward before cautiously placing a hand on his shoulder before squeezing him gently.

“Anakin,” I whisper, “it’s not--it’s not real.” His eyebrows draw together even more harshly. I shake him a little more stubbornly. “Anakin, wake up--you’re having a ni--”

My forearm is grabbed so suddenly I barely register it before I feel my back shoved into my mattress. I blink twice. His dark eyes are frantic and the look on his face is far from the gentle, easygoing expression I’m used to. He’s breathing deeply, his chest rising and falling from above me. I swallow a slight panic and something I don’t understand as I try to keep my eyes on his face and my thoughts away from how close he is. Anakin pries his fingers from my forearm one by one until only his palm is touching me.

“Y/n, I--”

“It’s okay.” Honestly, I’m more worried about his uneven breathing than the way he grabbed me. I can’t imagine everything he’s been through or how justified his nightmares are. Anakin moves his hand away from me. I don’t sit up until he’s off of me and sitting with his back against my headboard. “It’s okay--I just--you were having a nightmare and I thought I should wake you.” He doesn’t react. I turn my body further, keeping my back straight. Anakin doesn’t move, and the longer he stays still, the more I feel like I should say something else. “Do you want talk about it? Or do--do you want to talk about something else? Or go to sleep? Or get some water? Or--” The far off look behind his eyes silences me. I scoot forward slightly. “You’re okay, Anakin, I promise.”

His head turns at that, his eyes searching mine for something I don’t understand. “I thought...” He cuts himself off by swallowing once.

I shift a little more, trying to find anything normal in his expression. “Thought what?”

Anakin’s hand is on my arm so quickly I don’t even register his movement. I let his fingers press into my skin. He’s holding onto me like I’m a figment of a dream and he’s beginning to wake up. “I thought I’d failed.” He exhales, the sound heavy. “Failed you and that you’d--I thought I had lost you.”

A lump rises in my throat, thick and unmoving. Cautiously, I place my hand over the one still gripping my shoulder like a lifeline. “You didn’t. Nothing happened, it was just a dream.”

His gaze falls to the ground before he repeats the last of my words. “Just a dream.” There’s a hollowness to his voice I don’t understand.

I exhale, carefully running my thumb over his knuckles. “Yes.” He doesn’t say anything but his expression hardens again. I let us sit there like that for a long minute. “I promise.”

“You can’t promise things like that.”

I sigh, unsure of where to go from here. “Bad dreams are only bad dreams.” He doesn’t reply. “I think you should try to get some more sleep.”

Anakin is unresponsive. I shift back, but before I can transition from almost being on top of him to just sitting next to him, he pulls on my arm to keep in place. “I don’t know what I’d do if something happened to you.”

“Nothing’s going to happen to me.”

“You almost died today, y/n. I was right there and if I had been a second later--”

“But you weren’t.” He doesn’t ease. “You were there and I was fine. Don’t torment yourself over what could have been. You’ll drive yourself crazy.”

“If anything ever happened to y--”

“It’s not going to,” I whisper, ignoring the way his hold on my arm tightens even further, “Especially this time a year when I have a pretty good gau--”

He tilts his head slightly, eyebrows drawing together and a ghost of a smile on his lips. “Pretty good? Really?”

“Someone needs to watch your ego, chosen one.” This time when he tries for a smile, the look has some strength behind it. Relief pools in my stomach. “Now get some sleep, tomorrow’s a busy day and when you’re sleepy you’re beyond irritable.”

Anakin lets me pull away enough to lay down, but he doesn’t follow. Not for a long second. When he does, his movements are impossibly rigid. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as carefully as I can manage.

“Y/n?”

I regret turning my head immediately. I didn’t realize how close he was. It would take no effort from me to make our lips meet. Wait--why am I thinking of that? I’m not allowed to think of stuff like that...especially not about him.

“Yes?”

He lets out a breath before moving his hand. I don’t understand his hesitation until I feel his hand cupping my cheek gently. “What if next time I’m not enough? What if next time I lose you because I’m not strong enough?”

I never thought my death would be such a personal thing to him. Sure, I knew that we had some kind of bond, some kind of friendship, and that my death would bring sadness. But I never imagined I’d matter enough to him that thoughts of my death would be frightening enough to slip into his subconscious and become a thing of nightmares.

“You are enough. Nothing is going to happen to me and if it does it’s not going to be because of you.” Anakin’s lips press together in a way that implies serious uncertainty. His thumb brushes across my cheek so unexpectedly I almost ask him what he’s doing. The intensity behind his eyes is enough to burn me. “Was your dream really that bad?”

He lets out an uncertain breath as his eyebrows draw together. I don’t miss the way his jaw clenches. “It’s more than the dream. I...y/n, princess,” he tacts on, a hint of humor returning to him, “you’re more than a mission to me.”

The admission is so soft I can’t help but smile. “I know, Anakin, we’re--”

“You’re more than a friend to me.” I don’t know if my blood freezes in my veins or if my lungs don’t contract when they should or if my heart literally skips a beat, but I know something in me completely stops at his words. “I--”

“Don’t say it.” I don’t know how I managed to cut him off so sharply and I’m a little disappointed when I do, but it’s the right thing to do. Thought of the code that’s so important to him have clouded half the immense shock and joy swelling in my chest. “What you’re trying to say...I um, I want to say the same.” I try to drop my gaze but he tilts my head up slightly with his hand. “But we shouldn’t, you know that.”

"You want to us to pretend that nothing’s different? You want me to escort you from meetings with one suitor to the next every Coronation Season until you’re married off?”

“No, I’m not saying that. The point is that I’m not saying anything.” His eyebrows draw together in uncertainty. “Isn’t it enough for now, for both of us to just know? If we say it...that could mean bad things for you. And I don’t want to be a bad thing for you.”

“You could never be.”

It’d be so easy to believe him. To believe him and to let him say what I never imagined I’d be able to hear and damn the consequences of tomorrow. “Can we just refrain from verbally saying anything until you’re sure?”

“I’m sure right now. I’ve been sure since the first time we ever walked in the garden together. The night after the first Coronation Ball I escorted you to.”

I remember that night well. The way he hadn’t scolded me for needing air or taking off my uncomfortably high heels to walk in the grass. “If you mean it, you won’t say it yet. I refuse to get in the way of what you’re meant for.”

His thumb runs my cheek entirely, stopping at the corner of my mouth. “Are you capable of not disagreeing with me?”

Rolling my eyes slightly, I place my hand over his. “Probably not.”

Anakin exhales, his playful irritation clear in the sound. “You’re impossible when you’re tired.”

“I am not tired.”

“I can see the sleep in your eyes.”

“I can see it in yours too.”

He pauses, eyebrows drawn together cautiously. “I’ll go to sleep if you do.”

He must be more tired than I thought if he’s compromising with me so quickly. “Deal.”

Neither of us close our eyes for a long second, we just watch each other with wide eyes. It still doesn’t feel like he’s eased, but he’s come back to me so much more than he was earlier. I’ll make sure to check how he’s feeling in the morning. The first morning after we’ve...I don’t know.

I’m trying really hard not to get excited because anything that’s been not said could be taken back so easily. That’s the point--but it’s hard not to let my heart get ahead of my rationality. I’ll just take the good for what it is for now and tomorrow we can figure out the rest. Even though he’s not allowed to form attachments and my father really wants to marry me off to foreign royalty.

Tomorrow. This can begin to be solved tomorrow. My eyes shut and I let myself roll fully onto my back. The second I’m comfortably settled, I feel Anakin shift against the bed. I’m too tired to open my eyes until I feel a weight placed against my chest.

I open my eyes on instinct, less surprised than I should be when I see Anakin’s head resting against my chest. Before I can speak, I feel his arm rest against my side. “Anakin,” I breathe, my hand moving to smooth his hair out of his face the way I’ve wanted to for so long. “What did we just talk about?”

“You said not to say anything,” he mumbles comfortably, “I’m not saying anything.” ...It is kind of the ideal compromise. Especially since I’m too tired to find reason and he feels so warm. “I can feel you overthinking. Go back to smoothing my hair before I have to rise and stand at your door so that your handmaid comes to wake you. Something tells me she’d be glad for the excuse to get rid of me.”

That might be the most dramatic thing I’ve ever heard him say. Selma is the most patient woman in the palace. “Selma would never report anything involving me, I can’t believe you don’t like her. She’s the sweetest woman I’ve ever met.”

“She’s the one that doesn’t like me,” he says, “she always watches me like she’s trying to figure out if I’m planning on stealing you away.”

Too tired to fight my smile, I go back to smoothing his hair out with my fingers. After a moment, he lets out an exhale that relaxes his entire body. “Goodnight, princess.”

“Goodnight.” The word is barely a mumble as I feel sleep tug against me for the second time tonight.

It’s strange, but my excitement doesn’t diminish my tiredness, it just makes the prospect of rest feel so much fuller. Safer. Because there’s so much to sort out and grieve but it’s okay, because we have the time and everything feels okay because Anakin is here, right beneath my fingertips.

#anakin skywalker #anakin #anakin skywalker x reader #anakin x reader #anakin x you #anakin skywalker imagine #anakin skywalker x you #anakin skywalker x y/n #star wars #star wars x reader #star wars imagine #star wars imagines #star wars fic

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achliegh · 4 years ago

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Trail of Breadcrumbs: Part 1

Okay y’all, I haven't written fics in years and all of them were TRASH (lol). So I’m here to see if I've improved and because I have so many fic ideas in my head that I don’t know what to do with. If you have ideas and nowhere to put them, send them my way (except for fluff I get way too uncomfortable to write that shit).

CW: Smut, cringe fluff moments (because you can’t help but be a little fluffy with these himbos), Trash writing, hand on throat but no choking

All characters belong to @lumosinlove

Finn was just chilling on the couch all stretched out with his ankles crossed as he read A Tell Tale Heart (he had never actually finished an Edgar Allen Poe book and he was determined), freshly showered from their early morning weight training with his glasses perched on his forehead because he was rubbing his eyes and forgot he pushed them up there, subconsciously pulling the book closer to his face. He could hear the shower running, not knowing which if not both his boys were in there. He sighed and yawned a little as Logan walked past the couch to grab his hat off the coffee table.

“Where are you headed?” Finn reached for Logan after setting his book still open on his chest and wrapped an arm around his waist. Lo laughed and turned around with Finn's hand landing on his ass.

“I told you I had to babysit for Celeste and Dumo today Ding-Dong, don’t act like you didn’t whine for a half hour about it because we don’t get to read tonight” Leo and Finn had been taking turns reading a chapter a night out loud of The Lord of The Rings to Logan and they were all really into it by now.

“Breaking the reading streak is punishable, just so you know”

“I hope that's a promise” Lo snorted and gave Finn a chaste kiss as Leo decided to make his grand entrance in only his boxers. Water dripped from his hair down his toned chest that was flushed from his hot shower as he smiled sweetly at his boys and came to stand next to Logan.

“Tell Katie I say Bonjour when you get there!” Leo leaned down for a kiss of his own and right as their lips touched Finn pinched Logan's ass making him jump and knocking his and Leo's teeth together. Making them both pull away as Finn laughed, Logan rubbing his lips and Leo running his tongue over his teeth.

“I guess that's my queue to leave” Logan shot a half hearted glare at Finn and swatted his arm away in the most dramatic of fashions. “Bye guys, love you, don’t have too much fun without me!” he walked towards the door and shoved his hat on his head then after he slipped his shoes on turned around and blew kisses to his boys as he walked out the door.

Leo was suddenly straddling Finn, smiling, he looked him in the eyes and did the infamous Head Tilt. Suddenly, Leo was on his back and Finn’s glasses fell onto his nose and they laughed as Leo set his book and glasses on the table next to the couch as Finn started kissing around the waistband of his underwear.

“Waited for Lo to leave?”

“I didn’t want to but you know he wouldn’t have left and we would have gotten an earful from Dumo- Fuck! Finn just like that” Leo threaded his fingers through his soft auburn hair as Finn sucked him all down in one go after leaving a hickey on his hip. Leo rolled his hips and tugged on Finn's hair just like he knew he liked it. “How long did Lo say he was gonna be gone tonight” Leo was watching Finn intensely as he was pulling off leisurely swirling his tongue on the head of his cock drawing shivers from him. He gave one last long suck on the head and pulled off with a pop while panting, he loves watching Leo fall apart under him and smiles.

“About 2 hours, just while Dumo and Celeste are at dinner” he spoke calmly and nonchalantly as if he wasn’t jacking Leo off with slow tugs with a twist. He lowered his head to lick the slit wanting to taste the bead of precum starting to dribble out. Leo moans and tugs Finns hair hard enough to pull the boy up to have their lips mean in a clash of teeth and tongue, he wraps the hand not in the red locks around the back of the freckles boys neck as Finn keeps pulling hitching breaths and soft pleases from the boy under him.

Leo pulls away and starts kissing Finn's cheek to his ear and basically purrs into his ear. “Finn I want you to fuck me until he comes home~” he sucks on the spot behind Finn’s ear and he tilts his head to the side to allow Leo more of his neck and shivers when He licks from the base of his throat back up the his ear and nibbles on his lobe. “Does that sound like something you want~ if not I can always go and have fun with myself.. mmm fishy” Leo pulls away to look Finn in the eyes and see the soft amber eyes with pupils blown wide and dark with lust.

“As if I would say no” He playfully rolls his eyes as Leo laughs and stands up pulling his shirt off and tossing it on the floor. “Let’s leave a path to the bedroom like breadcrumbs in depressing kids stories” he’s taking off his sweats and underwear leaving them in a perfect like to the bedroom and Leo shakes his head as he also takes off his boxers finally and hangs them on the doorknob then beckons the older boy with a nod of his head into the room.

Next thing he know he’s being tackled on that bed and they are both laughing as they roll a little ending up with Leo’s head hanging off the side of the bed and Finn kissing his neck still chuckling as he fumbles for the 3/4th empty bottle of lube and yells to their Alexa, “Alexa add Lube to the Shopping list” and snorts when she answers as he sits on his heels in between the younger boys legs and smiles at him. “You’re so pretty Peanut” he leans forward and kisses his forehead.

“Sap” Sunshine boy flicks Finn's forehead but can’t stop the smitten smile that lights up his face.

“You’re hanging out with Loops to much if you’re starting to call me a sap”

“What can I say it’s nice to be around someone as mature as I am” he laughs as Finn makes an offended sound and playfully smacks his thigh. “Are we gonna fuck or just laugh at each other while our dicks are out?”

“It’s not so different from every other day in the locker room”

“We haven’t fucked in the locker room-“

“Yet” Finn laughs and adds some lube on his fingers and warms it up by rubbing it between his fingers as he bends down to kiss Leo’s inner thighs smiling into the kisses as he looks up at Leo. “Ready Peanut?”

Smiling as a blush covers his cheeks, blue eyes meet brown. He nods and Finn gently pushes past Leo’s tight ring of muscle as the younger boy sigh in relief and he reaches down to grab behind his knees and pulls his legs up. Finn praises the higher power for his sexy flexible boyfriend that has given him so many ideas in the very moment. He starts pumping his finger in and out of Leo getting more and more turned on by the sounds the Younger boy is making, Leo is normally vocal but Finn can tell he’s putting on a show for him.

“Another, add another! Please Finn I need more!” Leo is moving his hips but since it’s been a while since they have last done anything Finn is a little hesitant to add another so quickly with how tight Leo is. Murmuring hold on babe and be patient, He watched his finger sinking in and pulling out of Leo so many times he probably could have got off on just that but he took a couple deep breaths and added his second finger. “Yes! That feels so good, uh.” Leo’s voice pitched up at the end as Finn curled his fingers finding his prostate, he started moving his fingers faster just grazing that spot every time. He started a rhythm of moving in and out fast and deep for three thrusts and slowing down to curl his fingers to press his prostate on the fourth. Leo had his head thrown back over the side of the bed panting and not forming sentences properly as Finn fucked him with his fingers, he brought his hands up from his knees to his ankles and pulled his legs open as wide as they could so his hands were next to his shoulders and toes touching the bed above his hands and he felt Finn stop and lifted his head to look at him. “What? Why did you stop” he blinked a couple of times and realised his boyfriend was staring at his legs with a face that was just pure awe.

“WHY HAVEN'T YOU EVER DONE THAT BEFORE, holy shit I’m gonna cum just looking at you!” Finn, with a face and chest now as red as his eyebrows, reached his hand down to grip the base of his cock willing himself not to cum at the sight of a disheveled Leo with his fingers in him and his legs stretched so nearly over his shoulders. Fucking goalies man. “ I fucking love my life” he dove in for a heated and sloppy kiss as he added another finger into Leo and pumping quickly because he needed to be in him soon or he would cumbust. ;)

Leo kissed back with a burning passion and arched his back as Finn pounded his fingers in him. When Finn pulled away to pull his fingers out and lube himself up Leo let his head fall back again with a dopey smile on his face.

“Ready my little nutter butter baby” Finn smiles and lines himself up gripping one hand on Leo’s strong thigh and one hand on himself. He looks up to Leo who is biting his lip smiling with his dimples on display and Finns heart did a dumb little flip.

“Ready when you are” Leo winks and his body hums in anticipation and then pleasure as Finn presses forward into him slowly while kissing Leo’s chest leaving small hickeys as he goes. Finn watches Leo’s face open up and his mouth open as he bottoms out. Leo’s moving his hips up to meet Finn and they both sigh. The older boy starts moving slow and Steady but snaps his hips forward causing the younger boy to lose the grip on his leg that Finn had his hand on and pulls it through his own hair tugging on it lightly as an obscene moan falls from him. The pace picks up as Finn moves his free hand around Leo’s neck to just hold not choke because Leo likes to be held but not choked. The hand on his thigh is a bruising grip and the hand on his neck is keeping Leo from flying off the side of the bed.

“I knew the trail of clothes would lead to something good~” Logan was standing in the doorway to the bedroom looking at his boys with dark eyes and a smirk. He locks eyes with Leo and strides over to squat down next to him and be face to face.

“Dites-moi à quel point il ressent mon soleil ~”

To be continued….

#leo knut #logan tremblay #finn o'hara #oknutzy #lumosinlove #coast to coast #sweater weather

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59writes · 3 years ago

Text

THE DRAW (PART ONE)

(PART TWO)

if you’re reading this as like an actual fic: first of all I’m sorry. how did you end up here. it’s most definitely 2 am go to bed. this fic was literally made because of a fucking uquiz about “ what kpop boy are you enemies to lovers with”

second of all, ignore any chess mistakes. idk I know legit fuckall about chess, my brother just always bitches about it whenever I want to stop playing because I just have my king left or smth like that because I know I’ve lost. mf reads chess books.

like look: I UNDERSTAND the game and how it works, and the idea that you have to think ahead and plan. but I’m adhd as shit and there’s no such thing as time or planning. ergo, I suck. like I SUCK. I feel like if I applied myself I’d be great but fuck that. I’m a bad chess player and y’all gotta deal.

third: I mention League Of Legends at one point. I’m so cringe yes shut up ok but I’ve been special interest-ing League for several months now and I need to let you know that Josh, y/n, and Jeonghan play a mean jungler/adc/support combo (respectively). I have so many more headcanons typed in my draft or whatever but I know nobody wants to see it so

anyways pls enjoy this train wreck of a fic lol

If you had known playing chess would have led to this bullshit, you never would have started playing in the first place.

You wouldn’t have worked your ass off, wouldn’t have pored through strategy books and watched live-streamed games, wouldn’t have competed for months to become an official grandmaster. Absolutely not. None of that hard work and pride deserved to be wasted on Yoon Jeonghan.

Thanks to your exceptional academics and study habits, as well as your headlining pursuits in chess, private schools crawled to your front door and begged for you to give them money just so they could brag about having you as arm candy. You didn’t care. It was free scholarships, a chance to leave your tiny town, a chance to start anew with people just like you. If you were lucky, they wouldn’t know your fame status, or would be used to the junk by now. Some would probably be even more popular than you.

So you grabbed a paper, scribbled a signature on, and packed your bags.

You had picked an academy for the arts, as logic games apparently counted as one. They figured they could do something with your whimsical essay writing as well, submit you in scholastic contests. It didn’t matter. You were free, and there to play some goddamn chess.

They had a hardcore club there, meeting daily on weekdays and occasionally for casual play on the weekends. Everyone there was excellent, all clever players with quick logic and a competitive edge that you hadn’t seen in a while. It was refreshing, but still not enough of a challenge.

You swept the floor with your classmates, and rose to the top of the club’s rankings within a week.

Of course you lost games here and there, as everyone did, but for the most part any game you began was imbalanced from the beginning. Your opponent could at best only defend themselves, only able to pick off pawns or bait bishops that inevitably ended in a brutal checkmate.

You were top of the class, and for once it took some effort. You felt like you’d earned something, and you were actually interacting with serious chess players who wanted to learn, not fawn over your work. They played fair and every game was fun.

That was until the blond bitch came in.

He sauntered into the class about a month after you’d hit the top of the leaderboard, long blond hair tied back in a neat and slick ponytail. You barely noticed, immersed in a game with another boy, Joshua. You studied the board as your opponent looked up, grinning wildly.

“Jeonghan!” He called out, waving at the other boy.

Jeonghan’s ponytail whipped across his shoulder as he turned, matching Josh’s smile with a killer beam of his own and jogging over.

“‘Shua!” He chirped, playfully wrapping an arm around Joshua’s neck, strangling him while his other hand smooshed Josh’s hair around.

You watched them wrestle for a second before clearing your throat. “Josh, your move.”

“Aw shit.” Josh says, wrestling Jeonghan’s arm away from his shoulder. “Back to the ass kicking.”

You grin. “If you hadn’t made that dumb move literally third turn in-“

“Hey! We are NOT talking about that!”

You snort and glance at Jeonghan, who’s gone quiet, studying the board. He crouches down and whispers in Josh’s ear, both of them scanning the board. Josh finally nods, pushing one of his pawns forward.

“What was that about, Hong?” You ask, capturing said pawn with a neat L from your knight.

“Nothing.” He replies sweetly, while Jeonghan smirks.

“Sure it wasn’t.”

Josh doesn’t reply. The rest of the game is tensely quiet, interrupted only by Jeonghan murmuring into Joshua’s ear every few minutes, a devil on his shoulder.

But it was fine, you were ahead by a few pieces, your bishops slowly inching towards a checkmate. The next move was it, the game in the bag.

And then your queen is gone.

Jeonghan takes the liberty of removing it from the board with a proud smile while Joshua cackles.

The game doesn’t last much longer, soon the both of you down to just pawns and your king, and then just the kings. A draw.

And let’s be honest here: Joshua kinda sucks at chess.

Josh counted it as a victory, though, hitting Jeonghan with a high five that echoed around the classroom like a firecracker. The boys talked briefly while you set up the board again for the next duo and packed your bag, ready to head to your dorm for a much-needed nap.

You wave to Joshua and turn to go, only making it a few steps before someone grabs your wrist. You whip around, ready to tell them off, only to be met with Jeonghan interrupting whatever swear you were about to say with a sharp smile.

“I’m playing you on Monday.”

He lets go of your wrist and turns around, resuming his talk with Josh as if nothing happened.

Rubbing your wrists ruefully, you headed home.

•••

Of course, his bullshit didn’t stop there.

You did, in fact, play him on Monday. He had you cornered within five minutes.

The next time, in four.

He gathered a crowd a few games in. Every time you’d meet his gaze he’d smirk, eyes brimming with some sort of superiority that made you furious, always endlessly cool and calm. He’d flick his hair over his shoulder every so often, even stopping to talk to spectators while you puzzled over the board, trying to hide your stress.

You were second place by Wednesday.

•••

“You cheated.”

Jeonghan just raises a brow.

“Put the rook back.” You growl, firm.

“Sorry?” He ignores your request, instead poking at one of your previously captured pawns he has resting on the table next to him. “Can you move? I’ve almost got checkmate.”

“My rook, Yoon.” You hold out your hand. “Give it back, or put it back yourself. H6.”

“I really don’t know what you’re talking about. Do you resign? If we were using a timer you’d have been disqualified sometime last week.”

It’s taking every ounce of self control to not slap the living shit out of the smug bastard. “Jeonghan, if you don’t-“

“How’s the game going here?” The chess club leader had made her way to your table, grinning widely upon seeing her favorite students.

Jeonghan smiles kindly at her while you curl in on yourself, trying not to explode. “It’s fine, Ms. Lee. Almost done with this one.”

“Are you missing a piece? Looks like the black rook-“

“Must have fallen off the table.” Jeonghan chirps, ducking under the table and returning with the piece in hand. He sets it with the rest of his captured black army, sending a thumbs up at Ms. Lee. “Thanks for noticing, we don’t need to lose any more pieces.” It’s an innocent sentence, but it makes you turn a boiling red. Lose a piece, my ass.

“Well played, both of you.” She replies, patting Jeonghan on the head fondly before walking off. The blond rolls his eyes, ducking his head so Ms. Lee can’t see.

“Jeonghan, you asshole.” You hiss as soon as Ms. Lee is out of earshot. “I saw you take it out of your pocket, you lying-“

“If you’re not moving, I’m going to.” Jeonghan replies, moving his bishop forward to capture your queen. “Checkmate. Good game.”

You can only gape as he grabs your hand to shake it and walks off, approaching Joshua.

That was when you really knew you hated him.

•••

You studied his games from then on, partially to learn, partially to gather evidence. If he was cheating this consistently with other players, you could definitely get him kicked out of the club and subsequently your life once competition season started, as well as learn and potentially steal his strategies.

Infuriatingly, though, every single game he played besides the hellish ones with you were completely fair. No pieces being slipped into his thin hands when nobody was looking, no clock taps that discreetly took a few seconds from his opponent’s timer. Even with Josh, who he was best buddies with: not even a joking steal or a prank of any kind.

It was just with you.

Every single game you played together, he managed to do something to piss you off, if not blatantly cheat. If it was one of the days you had spectators, his harassment would come in the form of heavy looks and obnoxious “I’m waiting”-esque moves: tapping his nails on the desk, raising a brow, checking his watch.

And if you were alone, you basically had to glue your pieces down to the board to stop them from slipping their way into his pockets. It was obvious when he did it, too, always sending you a smile, too innocent.

It was infuriatingly adorable how proud he was of his nasty behavior. And he was focused too: none of his other opponents got the thought and effort he put into outwitting you and attempting to steal things without you noticing. As much as you hated him, you had to admire it.

Which is why it was so hard to finally draw a line and refuse to play with him anymore.

Though he shrugged when you put your foot down, his dark eyes watched you the rest of that club session. Every time you caught him, he held your gaze for a moment before looking away and resuming cheerfully animated conversation with his opponent.

God, how was he so easily likeable?

He respected your decision, though, and didn’t even attempt to talk to you. It was genuinely polar and strange, and it made you lost in thought as the months passed.

You almost missed the absence of anger, as stupid as it was. School had always been boring and simple, and chess with Jeonghan was the only thing to have made you frustrated in a long time, to have truly challenged you in a long time.

Even when you buckled down on trying to get him out of your head, he seemed to follow- being friends with Joshua (and honestly most of the other club members) almost always devolved into chats about the club and “why aren’t you playing Jeonghan anymore?”. Josh often suggested playing video games with the two of them, and you had to refuse (although playing League with Josh was so fun).

It was lonely.

Stupid Jeonghan.

•••

Finally, tournament season started.

Following (what was apparently) club tradition, the entire team dyed their hair between practices. You settled with a simple streak of blue that was stolen from Josh (he went completely teal, the madman).

The next day, Jeonghan came to practice with his blond ponytail gone, replaced by a dark brown undercut, hair bluntly chopped to end around his jaw.

Unfortunately, it suited him.

He saved a blond spot for a bit of Josh’s blue, however, and Josh dyed it for him in the middle of the clubroom, laughing the whole time. They’d planned it, clearly, as you were pretty sure Josh didn’t just carry around dye in his backpack.

Which means he knew you two would match when he did your hair.

It was confirmed by an apologetic shrug when you cornered him while he threw away the dye-stained gloves.

“Give him a chance, please y/n?”

“Hong Jisoo. You know how I feel about that dumbass-“

“y/n-“

“Why are you so insistent on having us talk again? He’s a two-faced-“

“y/n, you’d like him. He’s funny, and genuinely nice. I don’t know why he was acting like that with you, but that was almost three months ago. Give him a chance.”

“You should be glad I like you, you stupid fucking rat.”

Josh laughs as you walk away, fuming.

Unfortunately, you did like that stupid fucking rat, and so when he offered dinner after an out-of-state tournament (he pinky swore he’d pay) you finally gave in.

Jeonghan coming?

lol yea

that ok?

not rlly

I’ll give him a chance tho

:D thank u

you owe me

I’m buying ur food :(

josh we r literally getting fast food

you owe me

lol k >:)

#x reader #kpop x reader #svt #svt x reader #yoon jeonghan #Jeonghan #Hong Jisoo #joshua #chess!au #not even joking lol

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kari-a-la-tari · 4 years ago

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The (Unneccessary) Lore of the WG Spanish Dubs

Aka me being like this meme for an entire post

OKAY so a couple of weeks ago I had just learned that there existed a Spanish version of Wordgirl called “La Chica Supersabia” which is honestly super cool cause who doesn’t wanna hear their show in a different language?

But alas, this ended up taking me into a much deeper rabbit hole than I was expecting and it’s honestly pretty interesting so I thought I’d share it with y’all!

DISCLAIMER: I am not an expert by any means nor do I intend to come off as one, this is simply an elaborate essay of what I’ve found through my informal research. I will also be translating anything in Spanish to the best of my extent, so I apologize if I mess up a bit with the wording since it’s not my native language.

So then *places a baseball cap with glued lightbulb on my head* let’s get started shall we?

Okay so first things first, there are a couple of select episodes of La Chica Supersabia (I’ll use LCS from here on) available on the internet. The most reliable source that I’ve found is on an old Facebook account here where a fan would upload LCS episodes based on when they aired. However, the only episodes available are a select few from season one.

Now this got my mind thinking “Hey, what if there’s more episodes?” So naturally, I started scoundering on Google (like the rat I am) to see if there was indeed more. And according to this one site there are only two seasons of LCS that were dubbed.

Translation: In Latin America, the first season premiered on Discovery Kids August 3, 2009, while the second season premiered on the same channel January 11, 2010, being the only two seasons issued. (Source)

However, later on I discovered that there was some mislead in that info because someone else found a Spanish episode that was from season 3, which doesn’t make sense because why would there be another season available when it clearly says that they technically shouldn’t exist? (Btw I tried finding it myself cause I did see that episode before but for some reason now I can’t find it dhdvvdbdvd 😭)

At first I thought maybe this is just some info added from a fan. After all, that statement was posted on a Spanish Wikipedia page so it is possible. So I began looking for other articles that talked about the Spanish dubs, but they all said the same thing. Well, until I came up with this site that said two very intriguing things:

Translation: The series actually had 3 seasons and is dubbed in Caracas, Venezuela. On May 2012 the series stopped running on daytime hours and was removed from the programming one year later, on June 17, 2012. It is unknowns if it will be aired by another channel or come back to the Discovery Kids programming, besides only the two first seasons were dubbed in Spanish. (Source)

I was a little bit confused here with the wording because it still didn’t confirm my original questions; if anything it left me with more. But then I read the next section below which got me completely off track.

Translation: The series received negative critics and complains on behalf of parents of families in Latin America that claimed that it wasn’t appropriate for the objective public of Discovery Kids. Without doubt in the U.S. the series had been well received and even won an Emmy award for Jack D. Ferraiola, writer and coproductor of the series together with the creator of the same show, Dorothea Gillim, who declared the following in respective to the series: (Source)

Now this one took me by a whirlwind: WTH why was this version hated by people in Latin America while it’s adored by everyone in the U.S.?? And I watched some episodes of LCS and while the dubbing is pretty funny (lol) there wasn’t anything inappropriate about it. For the most part they stuck on script with the original episode they had to dub.

So I dove even deeper...

And o h m y g o d there is an answer to this.

Translation: The program premiered in Latin America on August 2009 on the Discover Kids channel, aiming at pre schoolers. Although the channel gave a lot of promotion for the show during the final months of 2009 and the majority of 2010, at the end of the year they decided to change the programming to nighttime hours because the show received a lot of critics from parents saying that the show was too “violent” and that it encouraged kids to lie to their parents (due to the obvious fact that Becky had to give an excuse everytime she had to leave to turn into WordGirl and save the day), and they complained constantly on the message boards now deleted of the channel. The program was eliminated completely on June 2012, without doubt, PBS maintained the Spanish dubs so that they would use for SAP (Second Audio Program) in the U.S. in a different studio (Dubbing House in Mexico and later Lorry Post in Miami, FL), but the program no longer returned to Discovery Kids until August 2014. (Source)

And DUDE no y’all this was just a complete hilarious yet ridiculous slap to the face. I mean..what the, why was that the reasoning as to why it was hated so much? Just cause of some literal PG kid friendly cartoon violence? And what do parents mean when they say it teaches them to lie to their parents?? I mean with all due respect, who was Discovery Kids target audience they had in mind vs. what it actually was? Because if there actual audience was very very young kids, they okay sure I can understand the need to point fingers at them in that sense. But if it was for slightly older kids (8-10 years old), then I think that parents can probably show kids at that age the reasoning behind why Becky lied in the show (not to mention that most kids at that age can understand what’s going on for the most part).

“Now is this actually true?” some of you may ask, which is understandable since this is coming from a wiki page. Well, I think it’s about time I put another disclaimer: sadly for the most part, the majority of these sources that I’ve attached have broken links when it comes to their references. And the ones that aren’t broken don’t mention anything about the topics that have been discussed here. But there are some smaller sources I’ve found here (look at the last three comments) and here that do indeed confirm that the show was canceled due to the force of parents.

However, the current grey area I’m in still is on the Spanish dubbing listing. See, I originally thought that there were three different dubbings according to this one post below (M&M Studios, Dubbing House and Lorry Post). I even thought I cracked it since according to this chart below the rest of the seasons were under the Dubbing House studios! However, it turns out that one of the studios Lorry Post doesn’t actually exist. Like nothing related to dubbing came up at all when I searched it up.

Translation: Dubbing Studio 1 - M&M Studios (Seasons 1-2). Dubbing Studio 2 - Dubbing House (Seasons 3-8). Dubbing Studio 3 - Lorry Post (Season 8 - final episodes). (Source)

And then that’s when I took a harder look at this website and realized that it’s part of a Spanish Wiki page called “Propuestas de Fans de Doblaje” (Fan Proposals for Dubs). *insert facepalm emoji* And just...I honestly feel so dumb that I didn’t notice that detail when I did my initial research cause that would’ve saved me a lot of time 😤. Anywho so that explains the Lorry Post mystery, but then lies the other question: do the other dubs exist?

Well, this is where I draw the line. See, on that same wikipage, it mentions that LCS had completely different voice actors for each of the dubbings. The first dub (M&M) is from Venezuela and after looking at the VA’s, they can be traced back to LCS. But after looking at the VA’s for the second dub (Dubbing House) in Mexico, there is nothing related to them and LCS or WG. Not even on movie databases.

“Now are you gonna give up on this idea?” you may ask. And the answer is......

No.

Why? Well, it’s mainly because there is a compellingly set of evidence that proves that the first two dubs do actually exist, which is...

youtube

THIS VIDEO, which shows that there were not one, but two variations of the LCS Spanish theme song. The first one is the Spanish version, and the second one that plays is the Venezuela version. And if you can remember, there were 2 dubbings of LCS; one located in Mexico (Dubbing House) and another In Venezuela (M&M Studios)!

Anywhosole, that is where I conclude this elaborate essay of mine. There are still a couple of loose strings here and there that I wanna check out myself but I’ve already tired myself out with this essay. I hoped you liked seeing me lose my mind speculate on the LCS episodes! This was honestly pretty fun ngl, maybe I’ll try doing this again in the future if something else interesting pops up! If you have anything you wanna add or maybe point out something that I may have forgotten, please by all means bring it up!

#warning: I have already lost my sanity over this entire essay /hj #my discord peeps have already been exposed to a good part of this already a heh heh #but I have learned some new things so this is more of an updated version for those who wanna see me lose my mind ��#AGAIN #wordgirl #word girl #wordgirl lore #theorizing cap time!!

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xueyangs-pinky-finger · 4 years ago

Note

Mutual pining fics are soo good for wangxian because of all the meaningful stares and touches and gestures in cql 😪

Oh, I love BuzzFeed Unsolved!!! Even though I'm a scaredy cat and horror and true crime freak me out. Have you checked out Watcher, Ryan and Shane's new channel? They get up to more shenanigans there! They have this series called Puppet History which I LOVEEEE. If you watched Buzzfeed's Ruining History with Shane, this is like that but with more tomfoolery 😂

I once read a BuzzFeed Unsolved x The Untamed fic... Here it is, in case you're interested. It's a short one-shot but it was fun! https://archiveofourown(.)org/works/27241906

What are other fandoms (if any) that you like crossed over with The Untamed? like AUs or characters meeting or any type of crossovers!

Do you write fanfic? Is there any fandom activity that you wish you could do? Like art or music covers or fic, etc? I wish I could find the motivation these days to make piano covers of the Untamed soundtrack music!

- 🎵🦄

i definitely did not see anything and i definitely did not call it 🙈

very true~

omg same lol. i don’t do horror and true crime’s even worse in some ways... but i watch bun for the ~humor~ i am subscribed to watcher but i haven’t seen all of their videos... i’ve been enjoying the too many spirits series!! i haven’t seen much puppet history but i’ve gotta change that 😪

ah thanks, that was fun! i appreciate how they included wen ning’s canonical inability to not cause a ruckus lmao. & i’m always open to recommendations :)

hmm, idk bc i haven’t delved into that side of the fandom much yet... i will say i’ve got some ideas for crack vids/incorrect quotes that i’m excited about, lol. and i still stand by my earlier post about rly wanting a xuexiao good place au :// & i think it’s pretty fun when ppl make fanart and fics featuring tgcf characters, bc i love all of them~ i also rly wish there was a xue yang sour candy (blackpink & lady gaga) fmv, ha.

i used to write fics for a different fandom and then when i had to reread them to edit or write the next chapter i would cringe so much ahjdka. i used to fancy myself a good writer but that’s probably not true. & i don’t rly get the urge to write these days? even when i get an idea occasionally (*cough*xuexiao good place au*cough*), i’m just like ‘... can someone else do it? 😩’ lmao. i never planned my fics out or anything, i’d just get an idea, write it, and then edit it without rly adding or cutting out much. i always sucked at deleting my writing or rewriting something once it’d already been written~ ppl who write these incredible novel-length and quality fics that require so much thought and preparation... ugh, i’m just in awe of them!!

honestly it’d be cool to do anything, lol... write fics, sing, draw, play an instrument, make gfx, make rly smart thought-provoking posts, rly funny posts, know another language and be able to translate... but i guess we can’t all do everything (unless ur fricking,,, wang yibo or ten). ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ i’m just happy i’m finally making good gifs, that’s probably... my biggest achievement of the year ahjdks. (though i still struggle with the coloring every time 😩) i’m also currently working on a dumb fanvid and just teaching myself as i go, so if that turns out it’ll be cool to have that format to work with too~ & i’d like to learn how to make nice gif gfx but i just have no idea where to start rn...

ah that’d be so cool! the ost’s soooo nice ugh. wuji instrumental and yeben are god-tier (and during my rewatch i’ve noticed yeben’s used in like all the most emotionally devastating scenes lmao truuu)~

do you write fics? have you gotten into mxtx’s other works at all?

#mdzsnetcc #love you pooja lol 💜✨

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kweebtrash · 5 years ago

Text

Cupid’s Chokehold(M)

Messy Chapter 12

Pairing(s): OC X Johnny

Genre: College AU, Fuckboy AU, Smut, fluff

Summary: Fuckboys are basically good for one thing. You hit it and quit it- except when his voice draws you in, his body keeps you there, and dumb ass feelings linger making things particularly messy.

Warnings: slight anxiety/panic attack, overthinking and nervousness, talks about therapy and medication,

Features: unprotected sex, car sex, creampie, oral(giving/receiving), swallowing, classroom sex, little bit of bondage, rough/cute sex, general biting and hair pulling.

Word Count: 13.2k

A/N: Well my beautiful angel babies, it’s here, The final chapter. i’m a little emotional writing it because i know so many people enjoy it and it’s made me a lot of friends. i hope you guys like it. it’s a bit shorter than normal and not as angsty (LOL). thanks for being there with me and keeping up with all the updates and loving the characters as much as I do. Some things are left a bit open ended and aren’t delved into just because this was already following the course of a few months and I wanted to focus on JnEri instead of Eri’s other relationships at this moment. I hope you guys stay with me in my future endeavors and thanks for being so supportive. I love my nctzens! Also, i’m so nervous that this reads terribly and i really hope no one is disappointed.

Messy Masterlist Buy me a Ko-Fi Other Stories

Johnny’s POV

They shoved me away harshly, so much so that I slipped out of them. Their breath was increasing into a hyperventilating state and all they could do was shake their hands to try and direct the panic somewhere else. "Eri! Eri! What's wrong?!" I grabbed onto their shoulders but they slapped my hands away.

"Don't! Don't touch me!" Suddenly my cheek was blazoned with red as they hit me. "Don't say that to me ever!"

"What the fuck?! What do you mean?!"

"You don't love me! Don't you dare fucking play games with me you asshole!"

"Games? I'm not playing games! I mean it! I've been in love with you for months now! I was just too chicken shit to say it...and this is why…" My heart felt like it was crushed into pieces at their rejection. It was what I feared the most, well that and not being able to get my shit together or put the burden of my mental incapabilities on them. I felt tears prickling at my eyes and swallowed hard, trying not to unravel before them.

"You said I would never be your girlfriend!"

"I LIED DAMNIT! I lied because I was scared! I lied because I didn't want you to know how I felt! It was a lie!"

"And you're lying now!!"

"I am not! Fuck, Eri!! I'm in love with you!! I. Love. You. You fucking idiot!!"

"You're the idiot!!" They screamed back. They were the one to cry first; big, rushed tears.

"Why do you think I'm lying?!"

"Because!!!" They hiccuped. "My ex girlfriend never loved me and the only other person that did, I broke his heart. I've never had love or accepted it. How could someone love me?"

"I love you because your gorgeous. You're talented. You're there for me. You make me laugh. You make me irritated. You the best cuddler. You listen to me. You never judged me. You want to protect me. You've taught me so much. You've been there for me. I love you because you're you."

"P-please…" Their voice lowered to the softest of whimpers. "Please don't say that, Johnny. Please don't. Don't hurt me. Please don't hurt me."

I cupped their face in my hands and pressed gentle kisses to their lips. "Baby, I wouldn't dream of it. I'm right here. Right here… I'm not leaving."

They clutched onto my sweatshirt tightly, their little hands trembling. "I don't want to hurt. I've been through so much. I'll fucking crumble, Johnny."

"Eri, I'm right there with you. You know that. I'm down on my knees and desperate for something good in my life. You're that something."

"No no no. No I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not." They shook their head and I felt like they were just speaking nonsense now.

"Eri… look at me." They shook their head harder and I tilted their chin up so their eyes could meet mine. "I'm not joking. I'm in love with you." Another round of tears burst forth and they shoved their head into my chest. I held them tight, rubbing their back and trying to get them to try and breathe a little better. "Ssh baby...sshhhh." After a few mostly silent moments of their breath evening out and their sniffles dissipating, they finally spoke out in a whisper.

"I love you too."

I froze then. What? Did they just-? After all of that that was how they felt? I held them at arms length and looked at them, confused. "You-? You-?"

They scrubbed the tears away from their cheeks and exhaled a shaky breath. "I never thought I could or I would. I never thought you would. I fell for you faster than I ever had before. I've wanted you for so long and thought you were still a fuckboy who didn't want a relationship and just wanted to fuck around. You stupid bastard, I hate you for making me fall in love with you. I'm so scared…"

"Me too. I've never had a relationship where I've been in love before. I don't know what to do, I just...feel it."

"So...what do we do?" They asked.

"Do you want to make it "official"?"

We both sat awkwardly and in silence for a moment. Eri clasped their hands in their lap while I bounced my leg nervously. "Like...you're my boyfriend now?"

"Yeah. That."

"Oh."

I pushed my hair back then twiddled my thumbs. Jesus, fuck, why were they taking so long? What did it take to get them to say yes? Or no. Fuck, what if they said no? They wouldn't, would they? Oh god.

Suddenly they kissed me, catching me off guard. They wrapped their arms around my neck and sighed softly. "You're my boyfriend."

"About damn time." I chuckled and grabbed onto them, showering them in kisses and hugs.

"Stop being so lovey dovey! It's gross!" They giggled.

"Yeah right! You like it."

"I do. Also, I don't celebrate Valentine's day, just so you know."

"Thank God. I normally just deal with Jae's birthday so I don't have time for it but since Quinn will distract him maybe you could sit on my lap while I'm inside you and watch horror movies?"

"Hmmm, we haven't done that in awhile. I want that. Give me that. And pizza."

"You got it." I smiled and gave them another kiss. "My girlfriend."

"Speaking of being inside me...you were still hard that whole time."

"Yyyeeaaahhhhhh don't remind me. It takes forever to go down sometimes." I shoved my face in their chest to hide my awkwardness and embarrassment.

"Well….we should celebrate right? Maybe we could-?" Their hand slipped between us to rub at my erection and grip it slightly. “You know...”consummate the relationship” or whatever the fuck they say.”

"You don't have to tell me twice." I was so glad to get rid of all the tension and fear, everything that was holding me back from ever confessing. Here I was with my girlfriend, about to make love to them even if it was in the back of my shitty car. It didn’t matter because I was with them and I always would be. I laid them back down and wrapped their legs around my waist before plunging back inside. It was perfect now, everything was perfect. The way they felt around me, the way I felt inside them, this moment, and being with them. I never wanted to let them go. I fucked them slower, like I had been before with no protests. It was still a bit strange to grasp the concept of making love as I had never said that in reference to any of my hookups, but of course this was different. Eri wasn’t just a hookup anymore. They were the love of my life. Even our kisses were slower and the sensation of their tongue flowing over mine flowed straight to my cock. They let out a little gasp when I adjusted my hips to roll into them. "Good?" I panted.

They nodded and dug their fingernails into my lower back, hiking their legs up higher. "There...hmm!"

It was so cute to hear how good I was making them feel. I nudged my lips beneath their jaw and give it a small bites as I moved faster. "You feel so damn good, Eri." I whispered in their ear.

Their legs tightened around me and our hands suddenly came together squeezing tight as we didn't want to let go. With my other free hand I shifted it into the minimal space between us to give well deserved attention to their clit. Eri arched as their walls clamped down around me tight. When they did that my body would go insane. That tightness engulfing me made me a mess and I wanted to cum so bad. They seemed close too as they were now rolling their hips to collide with my own and get there faster. Their hand burrowed into my hair, seizing a fistfull as I felt their cum envelop me. I braced myself against the door chasing after their orgasm with heavy pants and groans. My mind was mush now, my hips snapping harder, and body finally sweltering in the cold air. I felt my cock swell and I remembered that they were going to swallow.

Suddenly, there was a flash of light and a loud honk that scared the shit out of me. I had no idea why that ended up triggering my cum to release, maybe the sudden movement or the fact that Eri would ease up on their suffocating tightness but thick ropes of cum painted their insides. I couldn't help by throw my head back and let out the deepest moan. Even if it was a mistake that feeling was so fucking amazing. "Johnny!!!" They yelled, snapping me out of my bliss. "You idiot! I told you not to!!"

"I was about to pull out! It was an accident!" I wiped away the fog from the window and saw that Jae and Quinn we're now approaching. "Fuck! It's them! They're here!"

"Oh Jesus, great! How the fuck am I supposed to clean this up? Do you have any napkins or something??" I pulled out slowly and just pulled up my underwear and sweats not caring about the uncomfortable wetness. Besides it definitely wasn't as bad as what I made Eri deal with.

"No, I don't think so. I'm sorry. Just like...maybe stay still and it won't come out?"

"Great. Wonderful. I swear to god Johnny I'm gonna kill you."

Yes, yes I know." I shoved my hoodie down lower to try and cover my slowly disappearing hard on so Jae wouldn't see it. He knocked on the window and I opened the door, getting out to open the hood of my car. I turned back towards Eri as they shimmied down their dress slowly, trying as much as possible not to move as they clenched their thighs tight. "We'll be out of here in no time and then you can shower, I promise."

"Just tell Jae to hurry the fuck up." They hissed.

"I will!....I love you." I said as a goodbye.

I could tell that made them smile at least.

Eri's POV

He was stupid and amazing and perfect. I hated him and loved him at the same time for making me feel a plethora of ooey gooey lovey dovey gushy feelings. Even if he had disobeyed my orders, his cum inside me felt oddly comforting. I never really told him outright that I liked it. I didn't want him to get used to it and play the dangerous line of creating a hellspawn. As I tried to stay as still as a statue Quinn jumped in the car. "Move your legs!" They said. "I'm gonna sit down."

"I can't," I grumbled.

"What? Why?"

"He came inside me…"

"ERI!!"

"I KNOW! I DONT WANT IT IN THERE BUT IT IS AND HE DOESNT HAVE TISSUES SO IM SUFFERING OK?!"

"Jesus Christ. You guys really fucked in the back of his car?"

"Yeah...and...I have to tell you something."

Their eyes narrowed in suspicion. "What?"

"I um...kinda, sorta, maybe have a boyfriend now."

"FINALLY!!" Quinn, and outside, Jae, yelled. I assumed Johnny had told his best friend as they were hooking up the jumper cables. "Took you idiots long enough! I'm still gonna murder him."

"Please don't. He's good, I promise. He's not as bad as he seems. We really care about each other. He said he loved me first."

"Oh, shit. I never expected that." They sighed. "Fine. But if he so much as has ONE fuck up I'm burying him 20 feet underground."

"Uh, it's 6 feet." I corrected.

"Not the way I'm planning it." Quinn shuffled through their handbag and pulled out a pack of tissues. "See if there's enough to clean up."

"Hopeful fucking ly. That dude cums like a super soaker." I shifted my dress up and carefully sat up. "Well don't look."

"I'm not! That's weird!" With enough space now to sit, they plopped down beside me as I tended to this irritating mess.

Johnny got back into the car and turned on the engine and I was grateful to hear it roar to life. "Thank fuck! Alright babe, we're going home!"

"Yeah, thank fuck! Don't ever take me to this place again in the winter. I'm not about getting stranded!"

"Good job, lover boy." Quinn quipped.

"Yeah, yeah. Shut it half pint. And get out of my car. We're gonna leave."

"Johnny be nice before I throw this jizz tissue at you."

"Oh god, please don't." He cringed.

Quinn scrunched their face in disgust and stepped out. "I'll leave you guys to it and meet you back at the house later on."

"You got it."

"And please, for the love of God, do not fuck on the couch."

"It was one time!" Johnny and I said in unison.

Quinn slammed the door shut as Jae closed the hood and tapped it. "You're good to go bro!"

Johnny waved at him and Jae tossed his jumper cables in his trunk before he and Quinn got in the car and drove off. I switched from the backseat to up front, tossing the tissues on the ground (because where the hell else was I supposed to put them), and settled in. Johnny held my hand as he drove off. The heat was finally on and at last I wasn't freezing anymore. In fact I was happier than I had ever been in a very long time.

Being with Johnny had its ups and downs. We weren't perfect and had some kinks to work through but it was still enjoyable. Our first big argument came when I told him he needed therapy to work through his PTSD and anxiety. He had refused each time i brought it up and it put a strain on us. I wanted him to at least get some sort of help. I couldn’t be his therapy or spend our entire relationship trying to fix him. When he finally agreed to go i was so happy and gave him all of the encouragement that he needed. He even started a medication treatment and it seemed to be working for the most part. But it also changed him to a point where a distancing wedge was placed between us.

It started one night when my limbs were wrapped around him and our lips were in a flurry of never ending kisses. He was thrusting in me, vigorously at first but it had slowed down to an awkward pace that I wasn’t sure how to keep up with. Then he stopped completely.

“What’s wrong?” I whispered before I tried to kiss him again.

He snapped his head back and sighed. “I’m sorry i just...i’m not into it anymore.”

Whoa, whoa, whoa. My Johnny, practically a nymphomaniac, wasn’t into sex anymore? My mind instantly panicked. We had been fucking so much since we had become an official couple that maybe he had gotten tired of me. Shit, was I getting boring? Was I not doing things he liked? My heart was pounding incredibly fast and I struggled to say a few words. “O-oh...is it something I did?”

He pulled out and laid beside me, folding his forearm over his eyes. “No, it’s not you. I just-” He shrugged. “I don’t know.”

I pulled the covers over me and closed my legs. “Um...is it stress, you think? You’re graduating in two months.”

“Maybe. Can I just sleep here?”

“Of course.” I said softly. I wasn’t sure what to make of this or if i should press him further. It could have been something in passing. I mean, there were plenty of times were I started masturbating and then just didn’t feel it anymore. I hoped that was the case and not that he wasn’t attracted to me or something. Our time laying together was filled with an uncomfortable silence. I rolled onto my side and tried to distract myself with my phone as silent tears spilled down my face.

Weeks had passed by since we touched each other. Not having sex wasn’t the end of the world, of course. I still loved him unconditionally and wouldnt leave him for something so trivial. But there was still a part of me that even craved our makeout and grinding sessions on the couch while some movie or tv show played in the background. Those were rare now but there was one night where I was a bit lucky. He had initiated it which made me excited that I was still attractive to him. Even though that seemed like such a stupid thing to worry about, I couldnt help it. Sure, we had cuddled, held hands, and did some minor kissing throughout this dry spell but when he was buried inside me it always made me feel giddy and warm, like a lovestruck idiot.

With his lips on me and getting rougher by the second, I pushed him down onto the couch and crawled on top of him, barely breaking our connection. He groaned softly and made a break to grab two handfuls of my ass and push me forward to grind on him. I took the hint and worked my hips over the center of his jeans eagerly. I parted from his sinful lips and buried my face against his neck to deeply kiss and nip at the skin there. I wanted to show him how much I needed him and how he made me an eager mess. I shoved my hands under his shirt and rubbed my hand over the soft hair on his stomach, swallowing back my squeal of delight. It always drove me insane to feel the dips of his abs and the trail of hair that lead to his cock. My hand was starting to follow that path when he whispered my name.

"U-uh, Eri."

I nipped at his ear and panted. "Yes, daddy?"

"Eri, I think-"

I kissed him again and smirked. "Don't think, just fuck." My lips made their way down his torso to the waistband of his jeans that I was trying to pry open.

"E-eri, um...hold on…"

"Oh yeah you're right," I giggled. "If we're on the couch Quinn and Jae will whine. But...we might have time for juuuusssttt a little fun." I started to unbutton his pants but he grabbed my hands roughly.

"Eri stop!"

I squeaked in surprise and stared at him wide-eyed. He shoved me away and sat up, adjusting his clothes and avoiding eye contact. I didn't know he had wanted me to stop. I didn't think he had even said stop before then. Oh god, I just traumatized him even more. "I-im sorry! Did you say stop before? Oh god, you did, didn't you? Johnny!"

"No I hadn't said anything before then. But maybe take a fucking hint next time."

"I..I mean I thought we were okay...that you were okay." I said softly as I covered my face with my hands and hid away from him, feeling like I was a total monster. He scooted closer to me on the couch and hugged me from behind.

"No, I'm sorry.” He sighed and kissed my temple. “It's me. It's just me. I'm just still irritated at the fact that I can't do it. It just won't happen."

I turned towards his chest and buried my face in it. "I don't want to hurt you like that, Johnny. Please, I never-"

He kissed my forehead then my lips. "I promise you a thousand percent it wasn't you. My head is still just...a mess."

I set my hand in his and rested my head against his shoulder. "Are you talking about it in therapy?"

"Yeah...we have been for the past couple of sessions. It's a lot and I don't like it." He confessed.

"Do you think maybe that's why you don't want to have sex? Like bringing up all those emotions, especially with all the stuff with Rixi...maybe it's just making it harder?" I should've seen this ahead of time. I mean, I'm his fucking girlfriend and if I hadn't been so selfish I would be able to tell what was actually wrong. instead i was worrying about my appearance and his attraction to me. I wanted to kick myself.

"Potentially. I'm still not sure. I know you've been wanting to for weeks and I keep ruining stuff."

"No, you're not ruining anything. I'm being a selfish brat. I seriously can't believe that it didn’t cross my mind that you would be talking about it in therapy and it would affect how you felt. Like how stupid am I? Of course that would happen???" I groaned in frustration. "I'm not being a good girlfriend…"

"You're being a great girlfriend, babe. We just gotta work through some stuff together, you know? You're always there for me and I promise I'll get better." I ran my fingers over the lines on his palm and sniffled just a bit. I still felt guilty, way too guilty for not stopping, for not thinking past my own needs, for taking his love for granted. It made my stomach churn. I felt Johnny press his lips to the top of my head again and enclose my hand in his. "Want to cuddle, maybe?"

I laughed and smiled a bit. He had definitely turned into the bigger cuddler after we had become official. "You're a big baby, you know that?"

"I am not! You're just comfy and so soft i cant help it. Come on, pllleeeaaasseee?"

I wiped at my eyes and stood up. "Fine, lets go." I dragged him along to my room. The problem was I forgot that I had my binder spread out on my bed as I had been organizing my kpop photocards before he had arrived. I was too embarrassed to let him see and rushed over to gather the cards and shove them haphazardly into the binder. I tossed it on my desk, hoping that he didn't really pay attention to what it was but when I turned around he had a card between his index and middle finger. "You dropped your Sehun card." He snorted.

I snatched it quickly and held it to my chest. "Shut up." I growled.

"So that's why you're dating me, huh? You wanna live out your idol fantasy?" He joked, but the words stung.

"No...that's why I never talk about it with you. That's the last thing I wanted you or anyone else to think. I didn't go after anyone just because of their race. I don't want to be seen as that type of person because I know plenty of people that do. I never wanted you to feel like I was fetishizing you. I get enough of that in my own community."

"Babe, it's not that serious. It's ok."

"It is serious to me...I know a girl that specifically sleeps with Asian guys because of kpop. I get that people have a "preference" but I think "preferences" about race are just an excuse."

"I mean I don't really see race…" He said quietly.

"You should. It'll help you understand the problems I go through and even what your people go through in America. It's not a bad thing; it's an educational thing." I sighed. "Anyway, the point is that-"

"You can talk to me about kpop or Korean shit or whatever you want. I don't see you as a fetishizer or anything like that. And I certainly don't give a fuck about what your race is. I mean I do in the sense that it's important to you but if you were something else but still had your personality and I fell in love with you it would be all the same to me." He ruffled my hair which made me shove him away gently. "Besides you tell me about your hair stuff all the time even though I don't exactly get it I think it's interesting."

I put my photocard on my desk and avoided looking at him. "I'm sorry. It's just something I think about a lot…"

"Well don't. Fuck what anyone says." He pulled me into my bed and laid down, keeping me close. "Wanna hear something funny?"

I knew he was trying to lighten the mood and make me not feel as shitty. I agreed to hear him out, gently running my fingers through his hair like he loved so much. "Ok, shoot."

"I wanted to be an idol when I was younger."

"Oh my god, really?!" I asked, totally shocked.

"Yup. I even started training for a bit; going back and forth between America and Korea. But it started to get super annoying. It was like I wasn't getting anywhere. Then I started to think I would never debut. Like I'd be stuck training for like 10 years and join one of those ridiculous groups with like 40 members or some shit and I wouldn't get to showcase any of my talents. They would underestimate my singing and slap some autotune on it even though I personally don't think I need it. Or I would get all of like...2 lines in a song or something like that."

"Yeah...a few of my favorites are like that and I hate it."

"I'm sure I wouldn't even be able to play the piano or dj anymore and I would just be the "English member" that could do all the interviews. Plus I'd be away from my mom for so long that I started to hate that too. So I basically quit and attended college here for what I really wanted to do and just did music on the side. I didn't want to lose my passion for it anymore."

"I have no idea what you would be like as an idol. I feel like everyone would screenshot you being a giant meme and you would trip on everything. Oh and of course allll the fangirls would talk about your cute butt and your nice arms."

"I bet you do that to your biases." He teased.

"....this isn't about me right now."

"I think I would like all the girls fawning over me. Not the crazy ones but like the ones that like put all the hearts all over my pictures and make nice fansites. And I would have to read all the fanfiction people write and laugh my ass off."

"Don't do that! That's like every writers worst nightmare!" I exclaimed.

"And you would know how exactly?"

"......again this isn't about me."

He snorted and shifted to lay on his back. "I should have expected nothing else."

"Shut up!! This is why I didn't tell you anything!" I covered my face and rolled away from him but he instantly spooned me and squeezed me to him.

"You always call me a dork but you're the real dork here." He kissed my cheek playfully before resting his head on my shoulder. I held his hand that was around my waist and exhaled softly.

"Let's just never leave bed or think about bad shit anymore."

"Sounds like a deal. I like it. Then I wouldn't have to think about all this old trauma."

"I know. You should keep going to therapy though. I'm glad you're doing that at least. I'm proud of you." I leaned back into his warmth and kissed his cheek.

"I know. I'll keep doing it. It's just a pain in the ass and these meds are fucking with me. It's so hard to get used to them."

"Trust me. I was the same way when I first started. But I changed and adjusted them all the time. It takes awhile to find your cocktail. When I got on one of my meds it skyrocketed my sex drive and now I'm a hoe so." I joked and laughed a bit.

"Wait, was it low before?" He asked.

I shrugged. "I would say it was average for the most part. But after my girlfriend I didn't have sex with anyone except Jungwoo and that was only once. Then Quinn started convincing me to do hookups and stuff and with the meds I changed to it just worked out I guess."

"Huh…"

"What?"

"Nothing...just interesting is all. Do some meds lower your labido or something?"

"Some do." I said. "It can affect appetite, sleep, thoughts of suicide. It just depends. That's why you adjust and work through some different kinds. It takes some time, so don't worry about it now."

"Fuck, you're so smart. That makes total sense."

"Not smart, just have experience." I shifted around so I could lay my head on his chest and bury myself into him. "Let's sleep for a bit. Clear your head so we don't have to talk about heavy stuff anymore."

He hummed in agreement and pulled the covers over us but I probably fell asleep faster than he did.. Sleeping to forget was always our favorite past time but it seemed a little less worse when I had him by my side.

He had been busy for a bit with all his meetings with his adviser, preparing for his finals, and making sure that he was ready to go for his graduation. We weren't able to see each other that often. Even his texts were more sporadic and though I missed him so fucking much this was an important milestone in his life. I only had a year left myself and I knew he would be there for me when my time came to graduate. I would often cuddle with his shirts while I slept just to feel like I had him close by. He had told me how he liked to sleep with the little rilakkuma keychain he had gotten months ago because it reminded him of me. We had similar feeling in wanting to keep each other close and it made me so so happy.

What also made me happy was that his portfolio show was coming up. Everyone would be able to see all the work and effort he had done as a photographer throughout his school career. It was one of the most important nights for him. I had been so excited and waiting for this for awhile now. He would still be busy in the gallery but at least I could be by his side and feel him close to me. I did myself up, making sure I wore a cute dress and my makeup was a bit more subtle than usual. I stuffed my hair into a more sleek bun and tried my damnedest to walk in some black heels I had laying around. When I arrived at the art building, the gallery show was going on full swing and I could see professors and head of departments looking at all the students works. I stepped into the space, immediately grabbing a free glass of champagne and a cheese cube they had on the refreshment table. With the cheese gone and champagne downed I click clacked my way through the wooden floor space looking for my boyfriend.

I found him caught up in a conversation that I didn't want to interrupt. I stood back, close to a wall but not disturbing any of the art pieces. My eyes wandered over his frame taking in the burgundy button up shirt and the tight fitting black dress pants that he wore. Dress pants were literally made for his ass and I found myself biting into my lower lip as I stared longer and longer. Even his thighs seemed to stretch out the fabric and I couldn't help but remember how good he looked when we got dressed up for the quince. I was already getting flustered, like an idiot, over someone that was already mine but he looked so good I couldn't help it. While I was still staring I noticed his legs starting to move towards me and instantly looked up.

"Hey, beautiful." He leaned down and gave me a kiss. I held onto his shoulders already melting at the smell of his woodsy cologne.

"Hey yourself. You look so good. And you smell good and-"

"Should I squirt you with a water bottle, horndog?" He chuckled.

My face flushed with embarrassment. "What?! No! I just...you look nice is all. I was admiring your handsomeness."

"And my ass, right?"

"I can't help that you have the cutest little butt ever, ok?" I pouted and crossed my arms a bit. "Who were you talking to?"

"Oh, him? He's the head of my department. He was telling me about some interning opportunities because he really likes my work. I think I'm gonna check them out."

"Whoa, really? Johnny, that's awesome!"

He smiled, bright and perfect as usual. "Yeah, I'm super fucking stoked. I'm gonna stop by his office next week to get more info and start applying but I'm hype as all hell."

I gave him another kiss and hugged him. "I hope you get one. This will be really good for you."

"Yeah. Who knows? Maybe we can work for the same magazine. You write and I take pictures."

"Oh yeah? Then you can come with me all over Europe to all the cool metal festivals."

He put his arm around my waist and took me away from my place by the wall. "I wouldn't mind that. I like traveling. Do you wanna see my stuff?"

"Of course! You never really showed me your work except from the pictures on your Instagram. I've been excited for this all day."

His cheeks turned a bit rosy and he clammed up for a moment as we walked to the far end of the gallery where his pieces were. When I looked up at the mounted pictures I took a step back. My breath practically ceased and my throat closed up. What the hell should I even say?

"Are they bad…?" He asked softly.

I was looking at myself. Dozens of pictures of myself in different settings. I had even recognized the picture he took of me on the night of his birthday party- the one where he had told me I was beautiful. I was crying, I was laughing, I was smoking, drinking, dancing, playing guitar. All these personal moments that he was now a part of and I never even knew it. I felt a lot of things, some that caught me off guard even. I felt a bit mad that he never warned me he was taking them. I felt embarrassed and shy for being captured so rawly. But I also felt honored that he would want to take pictures of me and display them for his final gallery. He had taken a chance with these pictures of me and showed it to the people who would judge him and sign off on his graduation. He had made me so vital to his career already and here I was absolutely speechless. All I could do was squeeze his hand tightly as a few tears slid down my cheeks.

"Eri, are you ok?"

"Why me?" I finally said.

"Because you're my muse. You're the realest person I know and I hate synthesized photos. I like capturing the reality of the world and what better way to do it then with the person who basically has had as much hurt and lost as I have." I didn't want anyone else to see me cry so I turned myself inwards towards his chest as more tears fell down my face. "Why are you crying?"

"Because I never expected this...I never expected anyone to love me this much…"

"Well I do. And I don't regret submitting these for my final show. I chose these for a reason."

"Were you ever gonna tell me?"

"I had planned to but everything got into the way and it turned out being a surprise. So...surprise, yaaayyy." He tried to make the air between us lighter though I was still a hot mess. When I stayed quiet he let out a small sigh. "You hate it."

"I don't. It's just a shock to me, that's all. I feel like I'm responsible if they don't accept you or give you good notes on your gallery."

"Don't feel that way. I did what I did and like I said I don't regret it. Not one bit. I want to spend my career still photographing things that I love. You're one of those things."

"When did you start being less of a fuckboy?" I chuckled and sniffled as I wiped my eyes gently so I wouldn't smear my eyeliner.

"When I foun out that I wasnt invincible and someone made me feel like I was nothing. You made me realize I was worthy. And then I fell in love." He stared off at the pictures and I couldn't believe how confidently he was saying those words to me. Months ago he had been afraid to even tell me that he loved me. Now he could say things that made my heart want to pop out of my chest like an old school cartoon.

"You're really something else, Johnny Suh, you know that?"

"So I've been told." He rubbed my back gently before stepping away from me a bit. "Do you mind if I mingle a bit more? I want to do it before I want to kill myself from all the socializing."

"Yeah," I laughed. "Go ahead. It'll give me a chance to walk around and see how lame these other photographers are."

"Eri, don't be like that. Some of them are my friends. I appreciate you liking my stuff though." He kissed the back of my hand before heading off towards the gallery entrance. I took a few pictures of Johnny's work and sent them to Quinn before I started walking around. The show went on much later than I expected and I stayed the whole time just to keep up my support but my feet were absolutely killing me. Beauty is pain, that's for sure. I found a spare chair to occupy and plopped down to give my feet a rest. There weren't many people left and Johnny was helping to clean up and collect his photos to put back into his portfolio. He met me at the chair and extended a hand to me. "Ready to go?"

"Mhm." I took his hand and stood up slowly. "My feet are killing me. Why were heels even invented?"

"You don't have to wear heels if you don't want to. I hate them anyway. I like you extra short for me."

"Yeah I know, jerk. At this rate you're gonna have to carry me to the car." I hobbled behind him as he started walking out of the gallery space with my hand in his.

"I will, just let me put my portfolio in the art space. It's just down the hall."

I nodded and clutched onto his arm, walking beside him as we talked about the show a bit. The art space was an older classroom with a large wooden structure with different slots for students to house their work. When we went in the room was pitch black and Johnny turned on the light briefly to set his portfolio case into his slot. When he came back to my side I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. "What's that for?" He chuckled.

"Because I'm a gooey, proud, happy mess for my man."

"And you say I'm a big baby." He set his hands on my hips and gave me another kiss which morphed into a us not separating for awhile. I held onto him tighter, pressing my chest against his as he moved me back towards a spare table that hadn't been occupied. "O-oh. Sorry." He whispered against my lips.

I shook my head and pulled him down to resume our heated kiss, begging for more. My hands were exploring every inch of his torso and gripping at his shirt as I whimpered against his lips. His fingers were clawing at the zipper of my dress, pulling it down and yanking the top part off my shoulders. He made quick work of my strapless bra, tossing it aside as his lips wrapped around my nipple, kneading as he sucked and groaned around the tender area. His other hand didn't devoid me of attention either. He had managed to trap my other nipple between his index and middle fingers, adding pressure as he groped and kneaded as well. It felt so so good even within the short amount of time. It was mostly because i hadn't seen this side of him in almost two months. My body instantly snapped to craving to be beneath him but my mind reeled it back instantly. What if it was just his small bursts that would start eager but fizzle out right after? I couldn't take that much teasing, as horrible as it sounded, but i knew he also shouldn't try and force himself to have sex just to make me happy

"H-hey, Johnny. You don't have to…" I swallowed back a small groan and tried to steady my breath. "We really shouldn't, e-e-especially if you're not ready. Please, i just can't take-"

"Mhm, do you want me to stop?" He spoke. His puppy dog eyes had shifted into something more devious but i couldn't be sure.

I set my hands on his shoulders to try and keep him at bay. "It's ok. We don't have to. I know you've been trying to work up your sexual appetite more but i dont think rushing through it like this is the answer. So maybe we should-"

"I want you."

I sighed. "I want you too, love, but if we go any further, it could be dangerous and I don't want that on either of our conscience. Lets just-"

"Not on my conscience. I want you."

He was starting to get a little too stubborn for my liking. "Johnny, we can have sex when you're ready. I'm not rushing this and you can't-"

"Eri, you dont fucking understand!" He cupped my face suddenly before chuckling. "I talked to my doctor about it and one of the side effects of my meds was a lower labido, like you had said, so i told him we had to fucking fix that. I got on a booster to go along with it and... well...i really really want to fuck you."

Oh.

Ohhh…

"So you're...ok? I mean to like do stuff? Do you think you really are? If you want to stop mid way again then that's fine! I just want to-"

"Eri, i am going to fuck you now and when im done, we're gonna go home and im gonna cook you pancakes and let you rest for a bit before i ruin you entirely, got it?"

I instantly felt that sentence go straight to my clit in the most agonizing feeling. I had been waiting weeks to hear him say something like this and now that it was happening, I was already a mess and surprised that he wasn't scraping me off the floor yet. I pulled his hands away from my face and leaned in to bury myself in his neck. "Yes daddy."

"I made my princess wait long enough i think." He grabbed a hold of the back of my thighs and lifted me onto the table. He didn't waste any more time in pulling down my panties and spreading my legs apart. He inhaled sharply when he finally saw me, staring for just a moment. I was confused, even a bit self conscious, but that went away the moment he dedicated minutes on end to kissing every inch of my legs and moving up towards my thighs. It had been a little 0-100 but with the way we had been craving each other, neither of us wanted to stop even if we were out in the open. He bit at my inner thighs, making me wince but desire the feeling more and more. He wrapped his strong arms around them and kept me as close as possible to his face as he sucked deeper and harder on the sensitive skin. He was trying to leave behind imprints of his teeth and bruises that would make me ache for days after. I knew he loved my thighs but with his lips being so close to where i wanted him to be the most he had me wiggling my hips in earnest. He disappeared completely under my dress so i only saw the form of his head beneath the fabric.

I could hear a soft grumble as his tongue parted my folds and swept up towards my clit. His fingers dug into my hips as mine scratched into the wood beneath me. His lips wrapped around my clit hungrily, deeply sucking until the blood rushed south and made me throb. He switched his tactics as soon as i arched slightly and let out a breathy moan, just to spite me, i was sure. He always liked to tease me, especially when he had practiced so much and found out what i liked most. The tip of his tongue was now creating lazy patterns between my inner lips and circling around my entrance, not daring to go any further just yet. My toes squeaked against the inner soles of my heels as they curled hard. I didn’t want to make any sounds and draw attention to the room though I was sure we were the only ones left in the building at this point. I breathed out his name in a soft beg as my need became more and more dire. “Please don’t tease me, Johnny. Please don’t…”

I felt his chuckle vibrate against my inner lips. “Sorry, I’m just so used to torturing you like this. Do you want me to make you cum like this first?”

“Y-yes! Make me cum however many times you want, pleasepleaseplease.”

“Damn...my princess really is needy.”

I wanted to kick him with the edge of my shoe for being a little shit but decided to behave. His tongue blessed me by plunging in finally, that warmth trailing through the beginnings of my walls and making more and more moans want to surface. He moved his hand from my hip to swipe his thumb over my clit. They were small strokes at a gentle speed to not take away from the magic of his tongue. He buried himself deeper, faster, hungrier to the point where he himself was making small growls against me. I pulled my dress up further on my waist to grab onto a fistfull of hair, careful not to pull him towards me. He had gotten used to me pulling his hair while he was down there but pulling him closer was a no go and stirred too many bad feelings for him. There were plenty of times where I had to remind myself to be cautious as it had been something I was so used to in the past. But a rough tug to jerk his head was enough for him to yank me to the edge of the table and and groan like a wolf in heat. He parted from me to grab a hold of my ankles and set my feet on the table leaving me to be splayed out for him. With such easy access his fingers were able to force their way in, two at first, and dig through my need.

While his tongue made long licks from the top of my entrance to my clit his fingers pushed and pulled in an incessant beat. I rolled my hips with him, plunging his fingers further and his face to be buried against me. A third finger slipped in to stretch me and i gripped onto his wrist as he nudged at a spot deep within me. My nails were creating marks into his skin and I could feel the pulse of his veins beneath my fingertips. “Here?” He asked simply. I nodded furiously and bit into my bottom lip. It was getting harder to stay quiet even if my moans and squeaks weren’t loud to begin with. With his idle hand he spread apart my lips to flicker his tongue directly on my clit. I clamped down around his fingers as my first orgasm hit me in a sudden wave. He kept his fingers inside me but slowed his licks until he stopped completely. He pulled away from me, wiping his face with the back of his hand before pulling his fingers out. He then grabbed onto my shoulder and pulled me so I sat up and tapped his cum covered fingers against my lips. I instantly opened my mouth and accepted them, sucking lewdly to get my taste off.

I fumbled with the buttons on his shirt as I tried to get it open to feel his muscles underneath. He worked with my fingers to free them and tugged off his shirt, pulling his fingers from my mouth to get it off completely. I licked my lips as I grabbed at his belt next, tugging it open and going for the fly of his pants. He shook his head and snatched it from the belt loops before grabbing my hands. He set them behind my back and wrapped the leather around my wrists, pulling it tightly and locking it into the buckle. I didn’t even pout, only latched my legs around his thighs to pull him closer. He shoved down his pants and underwear, palming himself for a bit before plunging into me. Both of us stopped, panting softly and realizing how perfect we felt when we were connected. It had been months since we started our celibacy spell and now that it was over it seemed so surreal.

“Holy-’

“Fuck.” I finished for him.

We looked at each other and kind of laughed before he cupped my face and kissed me hard. “You asshole, i love you so much.”

“M-me too. So fucking much…”

He buried his face in my neck then and pressed his hand onto my lower back. His hips pulled away and snapped harshly, filling me with a thunderous burst of pleasure. I needed that rawness and passion that he gave me every time we got lost in each other. He thrusted over and over, making the table shake beneath me. I rocked my hips fast to meet him, my mind making me blurt out whatever begs and pleads that popped into my train of thought. I wished I could touch him, that little bastard and his kinky ideas. I taught him too much. He kissed his way up my neck and nipped at my ear. I felt his warm breath against my lobe as he whispered, “Bite me.” He didn’t have to tell me twice. I dove towards his collarbone, latching onto the thin skin and sinking my teeth in. He hissed and snapped his hips harder while i sucked deeply and pulled a colorful hickey to the surface.

He pounded faster getting more relentless in feeling my walls wrapped around him. My legs were trembling and struggling to keep their hold around him. I swallowed hard and pressed my forehead to his. "J-johnny…" I had no idea what I wanted to say but I felt the urge to beg for him.

He licked my lips and added a small nibble to the bottom one. "I want to bend you over this fucking table."

"Then do it. Make me yours."

"You're already mine." He yanked my hips off the table top and forced my torso down onto it, making my dress pool around my ankles. "You're usually on all fours on your bed. I haven't fucked you over a table or counter in a minute." He grabbed onto the loose end of the belt and tugged my arms back roughly. His other hand forced my hips back as he reentered me, ramming my hip bone into the edge of the table. I winced and gasped deeply as my legs almost gave out then and there. He used the hold on my arms as leverage to get the best angle and plow straight towards my stomach. His foot kicked my feet apart more and I could hear his satisfied chuckle behind me.

Johnny pressed himself close to my back and nudged his lips against me, signaling me to face him. His tongue pried open my lips, giving me no time to adjust to the thick invasion. We exchanged moans and suckled at each other until I felt my arms start to tingle. Pain was shooting up my forearms and I could hardly feel my fingers. "J-Joh…" He cut me off by filling my mouth again. I shook my head and tried to pull away. "Too tight!"

"What? You mean you're too tight?"

"Belt. The belt. It hurts. Take it off." I whimpered.

"Oh! Fuck, shit, okay! Hold on." He pulled away from me and untied the belt from my wrists, finally setting me free. I shook out the numb feeling and held onto my wrists that were bright red and starting to fade to purple. "Are you ok? I'm so sorry." He rubbed his hands over my arms, helping to get the feeling back as well.

"Yeah, I'll be fine. It just hurts a bit. That's all.”

“I’m so sorry...” He whispered.

I took his arms and wrapped them around my waist, leaning back into his shoulder a bit. “I’m okay. Promise. Please keep going.”

“I don’t want to hurt you again. Should I...keep you bent over?”

I giggled. He could always turn into a soft dom at the drop of a hat. “Yes, keep me bent over. I want it like that.”

He nodded and kissed my neck gently. He morphed our hands together and planted them on the table, pressing me back into a bent position. My fingers clenched around his when i felt him thrust and my eyes fluttered shut. Each grind, thrust, and roll of hi hips dug deeper into me, resurfacing my quivering thighs and months of need. Johnny left blazoned trails of stinging bites down my spine as his blunt nails dug into the palm of my hand. My favorite little growls rang in my ear and i slammed myself back against him, wanting to hear more. our bodies were harshly slapping together now, echoing in the big room, repeating the sounds of skin on skin, rough contact with wood, and the table squeaking back little by little. The sounds were lost on us entirely. Even our pants and moans seemed to disappear as we vanished into a void of each other. Nothing was more important to me then his satisfaction and i knew he felt the same. We were chasing each other incessantly, begging for release until i broke first, practically crumbling beneath his heavy body. The table prevented me from falling onto my weakened legs and of course i couldn’t move being trapped between it and Johnny. I heard my orgasm each time he pounded into me, sloppier than the last and trembling with anticipation. I wiggled myself back against him and gave him a warning so he could pull out.

He finally let me go and braced himself on the table, dribbles of sweat from from his temple down to his chin. I worked myself down to my knees in front of him, giving him doe eyes as i popped my tongue out for him. He took the back of my head in his hand and urged me forward until his cock pushed past my lips and suffocated my mouth in a thick tightness. I squeezed my eyes shut and let him control his thrusting, keeping a hold on his thighs in case it got to be too much. He was holding back his want to obliterate my throat for the sake of me not killing him after but i let him go a little faster, gaining a tighter grip against my skull. Johnny tossed his head back and i watched as his chest heaved and fingers wrap tighter around the edge of the table. He bit down on his lip so hard I was sure he made it bleed as splatters of his cum coated my tongue and slid down my throat. It was never the most pleasant feeling for me, the rare times I did this for him, but i behaved and swallowed it all, even waiting until the last drop. He pulled out slowly and looked down at me and i hoped i didn’t have a look of suffering on my face.

“Y-You okay?” He stuttered.

I nodded and swallowed down the rest of it before gasping for air a bit. Johnny hooked his arms under mine and lifted me up. I wrapped my arms around him and laid my head on his chest, begging for his comfort. He held me tight and rubbed my back gently as we both came down from the intensity. “Can i get pancakes now?” I murmured.

He chuckled and kissed the top of my head. “Of course, princess. Let’s just...clean up and get dressed.” I pulled away reluctantly and he cocked his head to the side before swiping his thumb across my chin. “Ah...missed some.” I took his thumb in my mouth and sucked off his taste, lapping just a bit at the tip of his finger. He landed a hard smack against my ass. “You better stop that, you little shit. I don’t need to walk around campus with another boner!”

I giggled and turned away from him to pick up my discarded under wear and dress. As i bent over I felt his fingers between my thighs gathering up my own cum and making me shoot up instantly. “HEY!”

He smirked and popped his finger out his mouth. “Just a little payback.”

I hit his shoulder with my bra and we both laughed before getting completely dressed. He held me around my waist as we walked over to my car. He had carpooled with a few other students that were in the show to help each other set up so I was able to take him home and have him all to myself. “I’ll text Quinn to see if they’re spending the night with Jae so maybe i can watch you cook naked.” I joked.

“Honestly, I make a mess in the kitchen and i have to concentrate on not burning stuff. Burnt dick will not be on the menu tonight.”

“Your butt would still look cute. Maybe if you just wear the apron and that’s it. Like in those cheesy pornos. Easy access.”

“Excuse me, access for what?!”

I licked my lips and smirked. “Oh...nothing in particular.”

“Eri, you’re not putting anything in my ass.” He stated firmly.

“Yet.”

Though our sex life was back on track and Johnny was much more satisfied with his medication, we were still having trouble seeing each other. His graduation was tomorrow and just a few days ago i had to snap him out of a night terror. His anxiety was high and even though he had applied for those internships he still was hit with the “what exactly do I do with my life after college?” Art careers were harder to find a job to jump into and I felt his pain on so many levels. I tried to assure him that he was good enough to get those internships and he wouldn’t have to worry so much. He had calmed down since then and I was grateful but we had to zoom around to make sure everything was perfect for his big day. However, he sprung something on me that I hadn’t thought would happen so soon.

“So i’m going to pick up my mom from the airport and then tomorrow we’ll do the graduation thing. After that we’ll all go to dinner.” Johnny said as he put on his leather jacket.

“Wait...you mean i-i’m gonna meet your mom?” I sucked in a harsh breath and almost choked. We had only been fully dating for three months (not including fucking around since august) and now I was going to meet his mom, the most important person in his life? I wasn’t ready. I wasn’t ready at all. “Johnny, she’s going to hate me. Oh my god why didn’t you tell me?!”

“Relax! She’s not going to hate you! You’ll be fine. I need both my ladies there for me. I’m excited for y’all to meet.”

“What if I fuck up? What if she hates the way I look? Does she know I’m not Korean? Does she know i’m not white?! Does she know that I’m younger than you? Does she know anything about me?!”

“First of all my mom wont care about any of those things. I know her.” He grabbed onto my shoulders and gave me a little shake. "Eri! Trust me. It's going to be ok. I'll be there the whole time." He kissed my forehead in reassurance. "I'll be back, ok? I just have to pick her up, maybe get some food and drop her off at the hotel. I can sneak over a little later and I can maybe take your mind off things?" He said coyly.

I rolled my eyes and hit his shoulder. "Get out and go see your mom, idiot." I gave him a peck on the lips then let him leave, waiting until the door closed to run to Quinn's room. "I have a problem and I'm gonna die."

"What? What's going on?" They set down their phone and watched as I flopped face down onto their bed.

"Johnny's mom is coming for his graduation and I have to meet her!!"

"Holy fuckity fuck fuck fuck. Shit. Oof. Ok, um...that's like... astronomically huge."

"I KNOW AND IM NOT READY!!" I cried into their pillow. "I have no idea why I didn’t think she would show up. Of course she would show up! He’s her only son! He says everything is going to be ok but like...I don't really know how she is. What if she's super traditional? I know she's lived in America for decades but she could still hate that Johnny isn't with some lightskinned, non tattooed, Korean business lady that went to Harvard or something. She's going to hate me and I don't want her too because she's important to Johnny. I want her to like me."

"Eri, you're beautiful the way you are. You shouldn't be ashamed of that. If Johnny wanted to date some light skinned Korean business Harvard lady then he would have. But he chose you because you're what he wants. Don't beat yourself up like that. He will defend you if she's really prejudice against that."

"He probably would but still…" Quinn sat down beside me and I shifted so I could lay my head on their lap. "I don't know how to be like proper or good enough to make parents like me."

"Just act like me because I'm a perfect angel."

"Quinn."

"Ok, ok. Just...try not to curse. Try to talk about your goals or accomplishments you've done. Maybe gas up Johnny a little? Mom's always love hearing about when their babies are like amazing or whatever. Maybe don't be on your phone so much? And when Johnny's there he can probably guide the conversation more so you’re not completely making a fool of yourself."

"That sounds good…" I said softly. It didn't fully ease my anxiety but it did give me some good ideas to go off of. "Should I wear a dress and some heels or something?"

"Eri you're gonna break your ankles if you wear heels."

"I did good when i went to his gallery show! Mostly. My feet were killing me after but I survived. I have some wedges and I think I have a normal black dress somewhere. Oh god, how should I do my hair. Maybe I'll straighten it. Should I do a bun again? What hairstyle says "Hello Ms. Suh. I'm not a terrible person"?".

"Ok, how's this? You pick out all the dresses you have that aren't slutty and then we can look up some hair ideas later. Then I can tell you what looks best. Also, Jae and I will at least be there for the ceremony so it won’t be completely terrible. We can at least help you not hyperventilate.”

“Yeah, i guess so. I just didn’t really think this would happen so soon in our official relationship. I met my ex girlfriends parents and they were kind of racist and unwelcoming so what if Johnny’s mom is the same?”

Quinn sighed. “If she is like that maybe Johnny will talk her down or something. I know he would want you two to get along but I don’t think it will be bad. Don’t worry too much or you’ll just make your head explode. Now go try and find your dresses and we can see what we’re working with.”

“Okay,” I grumbled and got up from the bed. “But what if she doesn’t like black? I don’t know if I have colored dresses. His suit is dark grey, black wouldn’t be bad, right?”

“ERI! Shut up and go get your dresses!!”

I whined and went to my room flipping through my closet for the few dresses I had. That one had a low neckline, that one was super short, that one had cutouts, that one had bat wings, the other had an open back. Fuck. The dress I had worn to the gallery was already dirty and way too casual and the rest I had were skater dresses. I needed something more formal. “Quinn!!!” I called out.

They stomped over to my room with their hands on their hips. “What now?”

“It’s official. I have to go shopping.”

“Shit, it’s serious now.”

I wanted to throw myself on the floor. I hated trying on clothes. I got all sweaty and then sad when shit wouldn’t fit over my thighs or my ass and formal dresses were the worst to shop for. I got lucky with the dress I wore at the quince. My mom got that for me and it suited me well but now that I was on my own I was doomed. “What am I going to do? If i don’t find something tonight then i’m literally not going to make a good impression and she’s gonna think i’m a slut. I mean i am but i don’t want her to think that.”

“Put your shoes on. I think i have an idea of what might work for you. Come on."

Shopping was serious business but I managed to find a black dress with capped sleeves that was simple enough for me to look innocent. It took forever to find anything that wasn't a sweetheart neckline, strapless, or backless. I was tired and barely got any sleep that night as nerves got the best of me. Only a few hours separated me from my greatest fear and I had no idea how to calm myself.

When the morning came, I drove myself, Quinn and Jae to the auditorium. Johnny was already waiting there with his mom and I met him outside the front doors, ready to vomit. I tried to focus on how cute he looked in his cap and gown that was way too short for him. She was standing beside him, also shorter than I expected for someone who birthed a giant. She was fussing over Johnny and giving him tons of kisses and licking her thumb to wipe away whatever smudges she thought was on his face. When he saw me he took me in his arms and held me close before introducing me to his mother.

"Mom, this is Eri, my girlfriend. Eri, this is my mom."

I smiled and waved at her, softly saying it was nice to meet her. I swore her demeanor changed as she looked me up and down, making my nausea even worse. Her attention shifted as Johnny introduced Jae and Quinn, then we were off to sit at the boring like four hour long ceremony. I wanted to try and be good and attentive but I was slowly falling asleep, especially since Johnny would be called to walk across the stage more so towards the end. Every once in awhile my eyes would fall closed and Quinn would jab my side so I could stay awake. I was suffering to say the least. Johnny was texting me a bit as we both sat in boredom and I made sure his texts were PG just in case his mom looked over. Finally when he walked across the stage she was all smiles and claps, taking pictures and videos even though it lasted all but thirty seconds. It kind of made me chuckle. She was just as extra as my mom was when I graduated high school.

When the ceremony finished, Johnny spoke with a few of his friends who had also graduated, making the four of us awkwardly wait to take pictures together. I was reminded how much I fucking hated graduations. I needed a vodka and redbull asap. The pictures were taken, a steady rotation of Johnny, Quinn and I, Johnny and Jae, me and Johnny, Johnny and his mom, until the point that I was going crazy. I was also mega hungry and would've preferred to be at the restaurant right now. I tried my best to put on a proper face and not show my irritation but damn if it wasn't hard.

"Instead of dinner, were just going to do lunch. Is that ok?" Johnny's question snapped me out of my funk. The prospect of food was enough to get me excited until I realized we would be spending quality time with his mother. I looked back at Quinn as I was terrified but they just gave me the thumbs up and mouthed that I could do it. No I couldn't. I was going stir crazy as Johnny lead me and his mom to his car as Quinn used mine to head back to the apartment. I clutched at his hand tightly as he was driving, making our palms sweat. He looked over at me, giving me a look that said "calm the fuck down." Easy for him to say.

We got to the restaurant and took forever to get a table as dozens of other graduates had also picked this spot to eat. But as we were waiting for our food, he lead the conversation while I stared at my lap, occasionally sipping my soda.

"So Eri," the question made my head snap up and a lump appear in my throat. "What do you study?" She asked.

"I do music journalism. I want to write columns for magazines and interview bands and things like that. It'll give me the opportunity to travel too."

"Ahh, you're just like Johnny then. Always wanting to go somewhere and explore."

I finally smiled for the first time today. "Yeah, I think we have similar goals and stuff. Ideally, we would like to work for the same magazine. Hopefully we can make that come true but it will most likely be hard."

"So you have goals together then. That's at least better than the brats he dated in high school."

"Mom!" Johnny winced. "You can't count that! I had no idea what I wanted to do back then!"

"Oh I know exactly what you wanted to do," she scolded. "Sneak out the house and go hang out with those stupid skateboard friends of yours! And that hair! You would never let me cut it! With your heavy metal bands and what not!" She scoffed and said something else in Korean that made Johnny shove his hands into his face.

I giggled and took another sip of soda. "I still haven't seen those long hair pictures. Johnny won't show them to me!"

"Oh." She gave Johnny a shady look as she pulled out her phone. "Don't worry. I have them on Facebook."

He sighed and leaned into me. "She's excited because she's finally good at Facebook. Also, I hate you completely."

I took the back of his hand and kissed it. "I think it's cute! Hush!" Ms. Suh grabbed my attention and shoved her phone into my hand as she had pulled up the picture. I practically slammed it face down onto the table and pursed my lips trying so hard not to say that he looked fucking ridiculous. "Please don't ever ever grow your hair out that long again."

"Ughhh, shut up. I don't think it looked that bad."

"I always wanted to chase him around with scissors! Especially when he had that ponytail. I wanted to chop it right off." She said.

"I don't blame you. I like his hair now. I think it looks really cute." I smiled a bit as I tucked his hair behind his ear.

"He could use a haircut still. But he's always handsome."

"That's for sure." I took his hand in mine and gave it a squeeze.

"Alright, well you two can be gushy gushy. I'm going to use the bathroom." He rolled his eyes and scooted back from the chair, retreating to the bathrooms at the back of the restaurant. I watched him leave before turning back to face Ms. Suh.

"You're not the type of girl he usually goes for. Hes never liked the hair and the tattoos and all that." She stated flatly.

"Well...there's a first time for everything. He seems to like the way I look a lot." I tried to bite my tongue as much as I could so I wouldn't fuck up royally.

"Hmm…" She sipped her water and glared at me. "And what exactly do you want with my son?"

"A relationship, clearly." I sighed internally and clenched my fist around the fabric across my lap. "What I mean is I love Johnny a lot. More than I ever loved someone before and I was really scared to be in a relationship with him because I've been hurt before. But he's been there for me through a lot of rough things that has happened this school year and I've done the same for him. Now I can't imagine myself being without him really. I care about him a lot and I think I've tried to protect him from things that couldn't be helped but I never wanted him to be scared when he's with me. I know I don't look conventional, and I don't even act conventional. I'm not quiet, I don't hold my tongue, I'm not soft and I stand up for what I believe in. I will never be a lightskinned Korean business woman who went to Harvard or whatever you expected him to be with. I'm not sorry to be myself and Johnny loves me just the way I am."

"I can see that." She interrupted. "Eri, I don't care how you look. I know you've been nervous all day. It's written all over your face. But I can tell by the way he smiles that he loves you. Also, when he came to visit me before he told me everything about you and the feelings he's had. I just want you to make him happy. That's all I ask."

I felt tears prickling at my waterline and I tried to laugh it off though I was slowly unraveling into a mess. I dabbed at my tears ducts with the knuckle of my index finger and exhaled deeply. "I thought you would hate me and I didn't want that because I know how important you are to Johnny."

"No, I'm not a hateful person. You seem respectful and I know you were tense because you wanted to impress me. There's nothing to impress. I wish we could have spent more time getting to know each other but I was only here for the ceremony. Maybe you could come visit Chicago with him soon?"

I sat up straight and beamed happily. "I'd really love that. Like a lot."

Johnny returned then, looking at the two of us. "Well I'm glad you two didn't kill each other."

"Johnny, hush! Eri and I were having a nice conversation." Ms. Suh whacked her son's hand.

"Wait really?" He looked over at me and questioned the tears that were still watering my eyes. "What did you say?"

"That I just want Eri to continue to make you happy is all. And maybe she can come to Chicago with you next time."

Johnny smiled from ear to ear. "I would totally love that. I told you you had nothing to worry about, babe!"

"Yeah well...I couldn't help it. This means a lot to you, to the both of you. And it means a lot to me too." I entwined our fingers again and relaxed at last.

"I just have one question." Johnny and I both looked at his mom. "When am I getting grandkids?"

I had stood up waiting for Johnny to come back to my place after dropping his mom off at the airport for her return flight. I took off my dress and got a hot shower in before pulling on some basketball shorts and a hoodie he had left a while ago. I had cleared out a dresser drawer for him to put some clothes on the nights he stood over and had to get to work or class the next day. It was all becoming very domestic. I was curled up in my bed when I heard the door open. I had left it unlocked for him and he quickly came into my room, flopping down beside me.

"How was your mom?" I asked.

"Oh a crying mess as usual. But I told her I'll try and go back home once I find out stuff about those internships I applied for."

"Speaking of which, have you heard back from any yet?"

He pulled his phone out of his pocket and opened his email app. "I have to check. I haven't been able to really look at my phone since the ceremony."

I stretched out my limbs, letting out a big yawn. "Anything?"

He sat up quickly and grabbed my hand tightly. "Eri."

"What?! What?! What's wrong?!"

"I got in! I fucking got in!"

"What?! You got an internship?! Is it the one you wanted?!"

"Yes! Fuck! Holy fuck!!" He pulled me into his arms and squeezed me tight. "I'm so damn happy, you don't even know."

"I'm so proud of you, baby. This is gonna be awesome for you." I cupped his face in my hands and kissed him over and over between smiles. "When do you start?"

"I've got a couple weeks. I have to sell my car then find a place to live and then get a new car down there in the meantime." He said as if his explanation was perfectly normal.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. What do you mean sell your car and find a place? Isn't your internship here?"

"What? No!” He laughed. “Babe, I'm moving to California."

#johnny #Johnny Fanfic #JOHNNY SMUT #johnny suh #johnny seo #NCT #nct 127 fanfic #johnny nct #nct 127 fanfiction #NCT 127 #nct smut #johnny fanfiction #johnny suh fanfic #johnny suh smut #johnny suh fanfiction #nct johnny

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yaminerua · 4 years ago

Text

pretty sure at this point it’s my digestive system that’s fucked but what exactly it is that’s messing it up I have no honest to god clue

it’s almost a year I’ve been dealing with this constant pain now, with random intermittent periods where it was less noticeable and allowed me to just do things and even very brief days where it didn’t seem to be there at all and I cannot for the life of me figure out why it was less on those days because it doesn’t SEEM to be specific foods.

I would have the same foods one day and be ok and the same foods another day and have the pain and not want to have to move much.

It’s ok in the mornings it seems. Like I wake up and I’m ok and then I eat and it almost immediately starts up but it’s not the upper stomach? Like it doesn’t feel like it’s reacting to something I’m immediately eating. It’s like.. further along and lower down which was why I thought it was my bladder at first but it doesn’t seem to be. And it doesn’t seem to be the other organs around there either cos those got checked in a scan when they were testing me for a previous pain lmfao

Anyways it’s a pain for the rest of the day until later at night for whatever random reason and then it’ll settle a bit. I have no trouble sleeping since it’s usually ‘gone’ by then.

But that pisses me off because it’s like. I still can’t identify what’s making it happen. Because again. Sometimes it’s not as bad and other times it’s awful even if I eat the exact same thing. Trying to cut things out or identify a specific trigger for it doesn’t seem to work because it just. It just seems completely random.

For whatever reason it has plagued me for almost a whole year from about March or April last year. With only a period of half of October where it randomly let up a bit and let me have semi-functional days and then just decided to come back full swing in November.

I’ve spent a chunk of last year trying to explain things to my doctor to try to figure out what the hell it is. Trying to find patterns, describing the feeling and where and when it happens and trying all the shit they give me. They thought it was IBS because I didn’t have other symptoms that would suggest other things, but none of the medications for IBS worked and even IBS symptoms didn’t seem that relatable either. I can’t even find a description for my exact experience online because it seems so specific.

It’s like.... before this, I spent the whole of 2019 with a pain in my left side that seemed to just. Not want to go away no matter what. And then February last year I was like ‘fuck it maybe I just need fibre’ so I gradually increased fibre and.... side pain vanished. And for almost a month I was feeling finally back to normal. Like aha! I have defeated you, mystery pain

and then bam! A new pain in a new location that was somehow worse than the previous one. And it’s been relentless ever since.

My brain loves to worst-case-scenario everything. But I have to remind myself that when they were investigating the side pain I had some scans and that showed nothing. And besides I have literally no other ‘worrying’ symptoms. Just this dumb pain

It’s significantly been impacting my ability to physically help out in the house and since my granny requires a lot of care and getting up to make sure she’s ok on her feet or needing assistance and stuff, on top of the usual washing up and cooking needs and stuff it’s just really got in the way of things that were manageable enough before.

Which has meant that while I lie down willing my pain to subside enough to let me get up and do things, my dad has had so much pressure on him and I feel awful for not being more readily able to take some of the weight off his shoulders again... Which just makes me worry about him being overworked and my brain reeeeeally likes going down catastrophe thought paths like a choose your own adventure of worst case scenarios until you end up with ‘he’s gonna die, I can’t make money, I don’t know how to function as an independent adult and I’ll lose the house and end up dead in the street’

so that’s fun

It’ll be a whole year of fighting this pain soon... a whole year of getting nowhere with it and having no idea still what to do about it and I’m just.....

praying that it’ll magically vanish on its own like the side pain did.... even tho im almost certain it was my active decision to take more fibre that made that go away. and I’m worried if i drop that then the side pain might return. And sometimes I wonder if changing my diet, even tho I did it gradually, somehow brought about this different pain instead. So it’s like. Do I just have to accept having one mystery pain no matter what?

Anyway.... it’s really slowed me down a lot over the last year and I’m hoping it’ll eventually be resolved. But in the mean time it means that sometimes I take longer to get new content made because sitting to draw is too much sometimes

So I guess I’ll just have to wait and see what happens with this... See if there are any other things I can try.

If this ends up being something like ‘lol you’re just really stressed and it’ll get better when you’re not stressed anymore’ i might as well just give up because

lol

life isn’t stopping the stress flow any time soon

would be nice if my dad’s 10 year long attempt to make some money in his business would finally pay off and help us not feel like we’re one bad day away from losing everything but hey ho the last time I lived without constant scary tension I wasn’t even double digits in age yet so I don’t even know if I’ll know HOW to relax even if things change for the better

anyway sorry for the rant

im just so tired

#nerua rants #lots of negative stuff and complaining about body pains #im so very fed up with my body being a mystery nuisance #it was easier when it was just my stupid joints giving me trouble

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nagichi-boop · 5 years ago

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hiiii can i have a matchup? im tiny (4’10) and i’ve been told that i have pretty innocent and cute looking face so im really not that intimidating. i’m super girly and i love wearing dresses and going all out with my appearance. i’m an intp. i can be a bit of an “extroverted introvert”— i’m approachable and i like to talk to certain people, but i prefer to stay out of other’s business and keep to myself. - 🥺

i tend to be very quiet around people that i’m not necessarily good friends with, but once i start to warm up to you, i can be really sarcastic (to the point that it annoys people), childish, and open with my thoughts. i’m a fairly confident person most of the time so i make a lot of dumb jokes about how pretty i am lol. but even with my confidence, i tend to get suddenly overwhelmed and anxious around big crowds. (2/?)

i’m a math nerd; i actually enjoy it and do well on the subject. i’m a professional procrastinator (which isn’t something to brag abt but i have to say im pretty good at it lol). i absolutely love music and it’s a topic that always gets me excited. talk about music with me and i’ll never shut up. my headphones are always on me and i can’t go a day w/o it. i can play the ukulele and i’m trying to learn piano. (3/?)

i’m pretty good at art, but a lot of the times it’s really difficult for me to find motivation to draw and im not very confident in my abilities. i love to sing, and i have a habit of softly singing/humming. in the grocery store, outside, in my room. anywhere. as much as i hate to admit it, im a super cuddly person and cant sleep without hugging something. i really really love hugs and affection but i’m too shy to ask for it. sorry this is long oops T_T ignore the emoji on the first one (4/4)

♡♡♡

Hey! Tysm for your request!

Let's get right into it, shall we?

I'd ship you with...

Kuroo Tetsurou!

• Kuroo was drawn to the fact that, at face value, you look like you'd be total opposites. You wear femanine clothing, he is very masculine. You are short, he is tall. You look innocent, he is...well, less so.

• He found you to be someone very easy to talk to, and even if you were shy to begin with, he was able to get you to open up. (After all, he is best friends with a very introverted person.)

• When you first made a sarcastic joke, Kuroo was really caught off guard - to the point where he started to catch feelings for you. You were no longer just this cutesy shy girl, you were someone with depth and complexity. As someone who loves to tease people, he also found comfort in knowing you like sarcastic jokes.

• Similarly, he likes your jokes about your appearance because he also loves to boast about himself. He just hopes that these jokes don't come from a dark place because he wants you to be confident in your appearance.

• He started just coming up to you and talking. People would get kind of startled because, compared to him, you look tiny, but Kuroo would simply laugh it off and then whisk you away.

• Once again, Kuroo is used to dealing with people who get anxious around crowds, so he usually takes you to quieter places to talk. Plus, it means he gets to keep you all to himself. Even though you weren't dating yet, he enjoys any time he gets to spend with you.

• He was low-key denying his own feelings for you because he didn't want to ruin the friendship he has with you. Kenma, as observant as always, has clued into the fact that you also seem to have feelings for him, so he bluntly tells Kuroo to get his confession to you over and done with. He thinks your friendship is strong enough that, even if you turn him down, you'd remain friends.

• Even though he is normally very confident, he was nervous when he tried to confess to you. He avoided eye contact and put his arm behind his neck. After meandering around the question for so long, he finally asked you out. You happily said "yes" to his confession.

• You both made as many excuses as you could to see each other, even if it only let you see each other briefly. Kenma had the idea for Kuroo to ask you to be his study partner since you seemed to be really good at maths and it would mean you could hang out more.

• You two are the biggest power couple ever and Kuroo likes to make everyone aware of it, especially his team. You're also a really funny duo when it comes to joking around. You always seem to be able to bounce off of one another really well, and dating only made your bond stronger.

• He loves your more artistic side. When you first sang in front of him, he had to hide his face because of how much he was blushing. When you asked him what was wrong, he very quickly deflected and tried to focus your attention onto something else.

• He comes over to just chill with you and sing. You play an instrument and sing while Kuroo taps on his legs and sings a lower harmony with you. He also doesn't mind just chilling while listening to music.

• He always asks for your music recommendations, partially because he wants to see your face light up and he loves how passionate you are about it. The two of you often share earbuds and listen to your music.

• He also loves your drawings. He thinks you're amazingly talented and he wishes you would show off your work more, but he also understands that you may not be motivated to draw all of the time and you may be anxious to share your work because of how you feel about your art. He appreciates your honesty and openess with him. He finds it endearing that even you have things you aren't confident about as he has his weak points, too.

• Kuroo is down for a good cuddle. In fact, he is someone who is surprising touchy. It started off as him just wrapping his arm around your shoulder, but he now also loves to cuddle you, give you a little smooch on the forehead, hold your hand - whatever it is you want or are comfortable with him doing. (He doesn't want to overstep any bounds, so before he tries anything new, he asks you first.)

• You don't have to ask for him to cuddle you - he somehow manages to pick up on when you really want to hug and he does it. He even sometimes puts his arm around you without even realising it.

• He bought you a big plushie of his so that you could cuddle it to help you sleep. You love to nestle your face into it because it smells like him and that puts you at ease.

I hope you like this matchup! Sorry if it's a bit long. I wanted to add as much detail as possible since you gave me such an in depth description to work with.

#haikyuu!!#haikyuu x reader #haikyuu matchups #kuroo tetsurō #kuroo x reader #nagichi matchups

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rexcaliburechoes · 5 years ago

Photo

You know that game idea I was kicking around for a bit? And I ended up writing like. A bunch of paragraphs for it? Yeah, that one.

Well, I made some mock designs for it.

As it goes, I know 0 about character design and I am not very good at posing and proportions, as well as the fact that this is all a WIP and will probably never go anywhere. Good? Good.

Warning, this is pretty damn long because I discuss some potential character interactions and the designs because I need to talk about it lmao (obligatory readmore because I talk too much lmao)

Viola

Viola’s the odd one out of the three because I he just kind of popped into my brain one day and I went “sure let’s roll with that” simply because I was throwing around ideas for the rest of the String Quartet as it were (Violin, Viola, Cello, and Bass). The other two I sat myself down and said “I’m doing this today okay” and then I did it but he’s weird because he just naturally occurred as it were.

I’ve imagined him as something of a moody teen. He’s also kind of defensive and prickly and a bit angsty. He’s sweet under that outer shell of thorns, though. He has something of a inferiority complex to Violin, since as far as I am aware, violas don’t usually get solos in classical orchestra (though I could be 100% wrong and I’m admitting that bc I don’t remember much of symphony orchestra. Actually I remember a lot of symphony, but not enough, sadly).

Violin teases him a lot, but she makes it known that she doesn’t mean any of the joking barbs she throws at Viola. She knows he’s important in his own right, but still the jokes can hurt, so he’s distant from her. He wants the spotlight too, but he’s also a little afraid of it because what if he makes himself a laughingstock when he finally gets his solo? Poor thing.

Design-wise, I think he’d wear probably a dark red hoodie with white trim, or something. Idk. Yes, he wears skinny jeans (in black, probably), and no, I don’t know why I drew him with cuffed pant legs. He’s a Converse kind of guy, I think, and his hair is is a bleach blond. No clue if his hair has any other color in it.

He doesn’t wear his hood up all the time though. When he’s particularly moody, he’ll probably pull it over his head (I imagine his default sprite is him with his hood up because I think he won’t be that open to the player just yet) and close the strings, but otherwise, his hood is up enough because he wants to or it’s down because he wants to.

Imagine though, if the player gets enough “bond points” with him, his default will change to him having his hood down because he’s more comfy with the player, in general (and maybe the player like seeing his face idk) and that’s a barrier broken. Imagine Viola being a cuddlebug with the player because they’re so warm and it feels nice to be around them. Imagine Viola smiling more instead of looking grumpy. Imagine Viola finally opening up and learning that he is worthy of being a string instrument and he is loved and cherished for who he is and that he doesn’t need to be better than Violin to have worth because he is is own person, and that’s what matters.

Imagine him mending fences with Violin in a sidequest. Violin stops teasing him so much (but since she’s like a sister to him, of course she’s going to annoy him- it’s what siblings do) and Viola being more open to her and showing her that warmth he too has.

Gameplay-wise, since he’s a member of the Strings family, he would have a higher ATK stat with lower DEF and HP as a tradeoff. However, he’s more beefy than Violin, who probably is The Glass Tank to the entire String family. Maybe Stradivarius is the Most Glass Tankiest out of all of the Strings. I dunno.

Guitar

Okay, so I’m not gonna lie, Guitar is my favorite design out of the three here. I don’t know if I wanted him to be bishounen or ikemen but since I can’t draw ikemen at freaking all, I went the bishounen route. but I think he’s still more handsome than pretty, so maybe he’s already ikemen?

So, I imagine Guitar as more of a mellow guy. He’s nice, maybe unremarkable, but that’s what’s great about him. He’s definitely handsome though, and he knows it. He’s most definitely a flirt. He takes pride in his appearance, but isn’t vain. Out of the Guitar brothers, he’s probably the most “chill” one. He’s also “cool” because… yknow. Guitars are cool. I’m gonna be honest, I didn’t really didn’t know what else to put for his character, so I might add or change things as I see fit in the future.

Design-wise, I wanted him to be pretty. In fact, the first thing I had in my mind was a white button-down and a vest. What I did not foresee, however, was how much of a pain in the ass drawing a collar was. I forgot how much I hated drawing collared men’s shirts lol. I actually wanted one side to be untucked, giving him like… a roguish?? Sexy??? Vibe. But I decided against it because it didn’t look good At All.

The vest was also a “should I or should I not” thing. Maybe it was because I really liked how I drew the shirt. i was worried that he’d look too formal, but I don’t think he looks too formal after it was finished. The coat slung over his shoulder was a “cool” booster lol. He never wears it, just like he’ll never button the top button of his shirt.

His color palate would probably be tans. White shirt, tan vest. Probably black pants, and the jacket is a wildcard. No clue what color it would be. His hair is probably a sandy brown and shiny. It looks very soft and it very much is. Most of the guitar players I see have long hair and/or a beard, so maybe he’ll have a little stubble? Dunno.

Imagine the player getting enough “bond points” with Guitar and him actually meaning what he says because initially he wanted to tease the player a bit or that was just a way he jokes around but now… he cares for their well-being deeply. Imagine Guitar being goofy and an utter prankster like his brother Electric Guitar. Imagine him being a bad influence to the younger/more impressionable instruments and getting all of them in trouble with the player because he too is cheery and bright but he’s just more well known for being mellow and romantic and smooth and he just keeps up with that image because he’s worried that others view him as strange or they would abandon him because he’s a popular hobby instrument but sometimes hobbies don’t pan out well and he’s been left in some attic alone and unplayed and abandoned only to be sold again to another person.

Imagine him worrying over his brothers because they’re doing something dumb and he has to bail them out. Imagine in a sidequest, he loses his cool and goes absolutely feral because his brothers are in mortal danger when he initially had more of a distant relationship to them.

Gameplay-wise, I imagine him to be a little more like the Brass family (of which I have yet to actually do anything for)- more beef in exchange for ATK. But since he’s from the Strings, he naturally has higher ATK and has more skills associated with the Strings family.

Violin

Okay. I have played violin for over 7 years guys. I haven’t played in an orchestra for a while though so my inf might be outdated or something because I’ve not been in an orchestral environment for two years.

So I’ve imagined Violin to be something of a drama queen? That’s too strong of a word for it, but I can’t think of anything else. Dramatic, perhaps, suits her better. She’s certainly formal and definitely haughty and “cultured” but she’s as cultured my file directory (aka not at all). Well, that’s a lie. She certainly has class. She likes attention but she’s not an attention whore and also she doesn’t have that much of an ego. She takes her job very seriously, too, and is a perfectionist. Perhaps she’s more like Viola than she lets on…

She appreciates the “little guy” as it were and is not one of those “ohime-sama” characters. Yes, there’s a stylistic difference between a fiddle and a violin (bluegrass/country vs classical and jazz), but in the body and neck of the actual instrument, as well as the range, there is very little to no difference. The main differences are the strings (fiddles typically use steel strings for a brighter sound compared to violins which use synthetic or traditional gut strings) and the bridge (flatter for string crossing/chords and rounded for single note playing).

I’m getting ahead of myself. I imagine Violin parties hard in addition to simply being all wound up and “classy”. Like, she’s probably the one doing karaoke and shots and in general being Wild while also being her typical Responsible, Classic, Dramatic self. She’s also quite sweet and is a hopeless romantic, but she has something of a short fuse and can get really scary when she wants to be. She’s probably Disaster Bi.

Design-wise, my first thought was concert blacks. Seriously. Whenever you hear “violin”, please tell me that you, too, hear someone in an elegant black dress, absurdly beautiful and pristine? Just me? Okay. She has beautiful brown hair that’s wavy and silky and soft and maybe it’s magic but it changes color slightly in the light when you see it at a different angle.

Imagine the player getting enough “bond points” with her and she finally starts to let her hair down. Imagine she invites the player to a karaoke bar or simply to a small party/gathering she and a few other instruments have planned because she wants to have fun. Imagine she sets up a drinking game that includes Spin The Bottle or 7 Minutes In Heaven or something because she can be fun and she’s not just uptight and known for being for the nobility. Maybe she’s insecure about how others see her because she’s been seen always as a tightly wound person and she too can have fun and be wild and free and happy and not a stick in the mud. Maybe she’s a perfectionist because that’s what’s been drilled into her from her creation because she’s usually a sign of nobility and nobles have to be perfect and she must be perfect to charm crowds of people and she’s only beautiful because she’s perfect but she’s beautiful even with her imperfections and her quirks and she doesn’t need to be Wild to prove that she can be fun and that’s okay.

Imagine her and Viola making up in a sidequest. She knows that she teases him and pokes fun at him a lot but she really doesn’t mean it. She knows that he’s an important instrument in orchestras and she tells him that yes he is needed and is important and yes, she’ll stop poking fun at him because she realises that her comments actually do hurt and she doesn’t want him to feel unloved. But she’ll still annoy him because that’s what big sisters do but she’ll stay away from those kinds of jokes because she doesn’t mean it and it’s mean so she’ll stop.

Gameplay-wise, she’s definitely on the more glass canon side of things. She has excellent ATK, but her DEF and HP are kinda… shit. I’d pair her with other String instruments that have higher DEF and HP to help balance out her flaws or even put her on a team with Percussion or Brass or even have her with a Woodwind to help with healing and she’ll do the damage necessary.

#rex rambles #rex can't draw #rex can't write #that game that rex keeps developing #rip the readmore went away... Sorry;;;#violin #viola #guitar

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stop-breaking-my-heart-telltale · 5 years ago

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I want to make a big post in regards to the survey I put out yesterday and talk about the future of this blog, as well as talk about [with you], my other writings and future posts.

This post is massive, but I want to be thorough about everything I put in the survey and the responses it got.

Before I start, I just want to say another thank you to everyone who has been supportive of me and this blog, and to everyone who took the time to take the survey and leave me feedback.

Except for the 3 people [which I’m not even convinced is 3 separate people tbh] who answered NO on every single question and the proceeded to write paragraphs about how my blog and writings are awful. I’m convinced this is the anon[s] who has actively sent me hate for the past few months based on the style the paragraphs were written. I know it’s you, hate anon[s], and your answers and votes have been completely scrapped.

Anyway, with that out of the way, I do want to add that the survey will be up for the rest of the week in case anyone still wants to take it. I’ll check it every night and close it after this Sunday.

Let’s get into this.

I want to start by prefacing that I understand this is MY blog and I can post whatever I want.

If I wanted to do character nights every night of the week or spend an entire day posting the same picture of Omar with stew on his face with the caption “Omar’s daily skincare routine”, then I could.

I won’t, but I could.

That being said, while there are things that I want to do or have thought about doing, I don’t want to do them if no one wants it. It would be a waste of time to do it anyway and then have no one read or appreciate it. That’s a big reason for this- to get a feel for what I want to do but also know what you want to see.

This was the first thing I wanted to confirm everyone was on board with. I LOVE doing these character and ship nights and I want to keep doing them every weekend! I get so many great responses [hell, most nights I get more responses than I can answer in a single night!] and have a blast talking about them!

So, you can imagine how happy I was to see that 92% of the answers were YES. The 8% who said NO included the 3 hate responses, but also 2 random NO’s that I was curious about. When I made the survey, I thought about adding a WHY after every question but didn’t because I wanted it to be quick.

We’ll continue to do character nights every Saturday and ship nights every Sunday.

We’ve only got three more Ericson kids to do for the character nights, and then we’ll spread out and do some characters from the other seasons. One thing that popped up frequently in the final response at the end of the survey was more attention to the other seasons, which is exciting! S4 may be my favorite season of the series, but that doesn’t mean I don’t love the other seasons and it’s characters.

I mean, c’mon, it’d be a SIN to not have a Lee night, right?

We still have plenty of ships to get through for s4, but when we eventually get through all of those, I’ll draw in other ships from the other games.

This one is important to me.

As far as my list of projects and future posts go, this one is the oldest. I’ve collected one-shots and multi-chapter fics and put them on my TBR list since ep2 was released.

Initially, I thought I was going to read all of them, then make a master list of my favorites with little mini-reviews. And then my list grew past 40 fics. Every time I would look at it, I’d say, “That’s a lot, I do it later lol.”

And then I got fed up and said, “Y’know what? Why am I making this harder for myself? Just take it 3-5 fics at a time and give them the focus and appreciation they deserve!”

So I did.

And if felt good to finally do it.

If any of you out there within this community haven’t ever written fanfiction, maybe you don’t like to and you’d rather just read it or you don’t have any ideas or whatever the reason may be, then you might not know [or fully understand] this:

Writing is hard.

It’s fun and worth it, but it is so damn hard.

And writer’s need to be appreciated for all the hard work and time they put into these stories.

This isn’t me calling out people for reading and not reviewing. Everyone has their reason for not reviewing a fic: They didn’t like it, they don’t know what to say, they loved it but can’t express how much they love it, they don’t think about it, they left kudos or likes and that’s enough- whatever! It’s all valid.

You as the reader don’t have to review things.

I’m just saying that reviews, when given by those who are comfortable doing so, are appreciated, are a great way to boost a writer’s confidence in their work, and let the writer know that they’re creating something good.

As a writer myself, reviews are something I cherish. I don’t care if it’s a review that says “Love it!” or “Can’t wait for more!” or if it’s a long paragraph. ALL of it is important to me. Every kudos or like is important to me.

As a writer, I know that one review can make or break your spirit for writing.

I am more than comfortable leaving long reviews, both on the story itself and on these posts I’ve started creating. I want these writers to know that they are so damn talented and we appreciate them and their work.

The mindset I go into when reading and reviewing these stories is “As a writer, what’s a review that I could only ever DREAM of receiving? What’s a review that would make me want to keep writing and better myself?”

Then I do my best to give them that review that they deserve.

Because you never know. What if this review inspires one of these writers and then they write the most beautiful story this fandom’s ever seen?

What if this writer was having a shitty day, or week, or month, and this review made them feel better?

What if this writer felt they weren’t good enough and was on the edge of never writing another story despite their talent and this review made them rethink that decision?

And if I have a chance at giving them that review? I’m going to take it.

It’s worth it.

THIS is the kind of positivity I want to share on this blog.

Even if I have to do it 3 stories at a time, I will continue to make these appreciation posts, and based on the 92% of YES’s on the survey, you guys want more of them which I’m grateful.

Much like the fanfic appreciation posts, this one has been on my mind for a long time.

Like most of you, I’ve spent years plaything these games and watching Clementine grow. Seeing her story come to its conclusion [after the very real possibility that it wouldn’t] was emotional on every level, and it continues to be emotional every time I replay the series.

If there’s one thing that I LOVE to discuss and read about, it’s how different everyone’s Clementine is.

None of them are the same. Sure, there are things about her that we can’t change [her race and sexuality] but as far as parts of her personality, how she interacts with others, who she falls in love with, and how she raises AJ is in our hands and how we want to shape her.

Even when we’re not playing as her our choices affect her character.

I’ve wanted to sit down and replay the entire series all over again, focus on Clementine, take even more notes, and then write a post of how MY Clementine grew throughout the series.

Like I said, ALL of our Clementine’s are different. I want to make this post and then see how different YOUR Clementine is compared to mine.

I want you to read the post and say “Wait, what? That’s not what my Clementine felt or did, she [blank]” because think of the possibilities for discussion that would open up?

Honestly, I could spend hours talking about Clementine and the effects my choices had on her.

So, yes, this is one that I will be doing. It won’t be done right away since I’m waiting for the Definitive series to release so that I can play that version. Not only that, but it’s not like I can beat the whole thing in a couple hours. This post will take weeks to prepare and I truly can’t wait.

I’m super excited about this one! And based on the 95% of people who said YES, y’all are excited, too!

This one was the most, um.... “controversial”?

That might be the right word, haha. That makes it sound TOO serious.

I actually added a [+other characters] to this question because I was trying to get across that I wanted to do character studies in general with Louis as an example, whether it be an analysis post OR a character study one-shot, like what I did with Mitch and [gross feelings].

However, I’m dumb and was in a hurry, so I slapped down Louis’ name and that point was COMPLETELY lost when I posted this question and that’s 100% my fault.

I should’ve worded it: Would you be interested in character STORIES/STUDIES of Louis AND the other Ericson kids?

I guess I could go on there NOW and fix is but................ would it matter?

I got a few comments about this one, each with the same worry about it. I won’t directly mention it here, but I want you to know that I’ve read through them carefully and I completely understand where you’re coming from.

What I can share is basically summed up in this one sentence [which I hope this person doesn’t mind me using]: “I think your ship posts and fanfics are better for the blog because Character studies I feel like crosses over into some other blogs and it might ruin what they have going for them since you kind of do everything?”

Fair enough.

However, I still want to do them, just... a little differently.

The more and more I thought about it, I think it might be fun to do more stories like [gross feelings] where it’s character-centric, told from only their POV, and delves into their feelings towards a certain topic.

[gross feelings]: Mitch-centric, focuses on his views of romance, how conflicted he is upon realizing he has feelings for James, and how Clementine and Louis’ relationship impacted his views.

It’s not a character study in the sense that I’m sitting down and writing down every single thing I know about him with my observations and theories about his character. It’s a story that dives into his mind.

For Louis, what if I wrote a fic based in the week after Marlon’s death and they’re preparing for the delta? Completely his POV and focuses on his conflicting feelings on Marlon, AJ, and Clementine? It’d still be a character study but within an actual story.

Or after Clementine comes back on the brink of death and missing a leg?

Or, hell, if I want to make myself sad, I could do one based on when he loses his tongue.

That’s more along the lines I was thinking and just worded it badly in the question I put out. In my head, it made sense so I get where those comments were coming from. Y’all are gonna have to give me feedback on if you think that’s a better direction because I think it is.

This one I thought could be fun.

In case you don’t know, another thing that I love to discuss is changes I [and everyone else] would make to certain seasons to improve the overall story.

For example, I don’t like the Stranger in s1 and think Jolene should’ve been the one to kidnap Clementine.

That’s a huge change to the story and opens up a shit ton of possibilities.

This is something that I think could be an entertaining thing to write and read and discuss. Again, this won’t be done for a very long time, since I’ll have to wait until the Definitive series releases and then do the posts between each season as I finish them, which will take a while.

Also!

One comment that was left was “What if we have season nights?” like we so with characters and ships. I think that is a wonderful idea! Not only would we be able to talk about the things we love, but we’d also get to share our different ideas for what could’ve improved the season!

Hell, maybe we could have a season WEEKEND. Since there’s a lot to talk about with each season, a night might not be enough. Maybe instead of doing a character/ship that weekend, we dedicate both days to Season 1/2/3/4?

It could be fun!

I’m still iffy on this one, but I was surprised to see such a high amount of people answer YES.

I’ve always thought about live streaming the final season, but I still don’t have a full grasp of how Mixer works [I play on xbox so I have to stream that way and Mixer is their way of doing it, I guess] nor do I own a headset or microphone to talk to you guys through. I could always do a silent stream, but really, where’s the fun in that??

Then again, do y’all really want to hear my cringy voice...? haha

It’s something that I want to do, though.

I even went into the gaming section at Walmart yesterday to look at their headsets and just “.......What does any of this mean??”

Sometimes I feel like an old lady who can’t quite grasp technology.

Then again, I had a lot on my mind yesterday and that might’ve distracted me. Needless to say, I did not buy a headset.

I want to do it, but I’m iffy still. That sums it up.

I was nervous about asking this one.

And I almost cried when I saw 95% of people said YES.

Most of the negative thoughts that I’ve had lately are related to my writing. Like I mentioned above, writing is hard. I love it so much but holy shit, sometimes it fucks me up.

I’ve gotten pretty good at sitting myself down, forcing all the negativity out of my mind, and just writing. I’ve done a lot of other things to help with writing and most of them have worked. It’s just been these past few weeks that I’ve relapsed into that negativity and self-doubt.

I guess I just needed to know that this is something that you guys still wanted, and now I know.

Now, I promised at the beginning of this that I would talk about [with you].

It’s been a long time since it’s been updated. I promised the final chapter a while ago and then I dealt with personal issues that prevented me from doing so. Then, when I went to finish it, I did.

And it was shit.

It was rushed and not everything I wanted it to be. I was writing it just to get it done, and that’s not what I’m about. I want to write something because I love it, not because I feel obligated to.

I want to finish [with you], but I want to finish it the right way and it took me a long time to come to this conclusion.

Here’s the part where I let you in on a secret:

I haven’t just been rewriting Chapter 6.

I’ve been rewriting the whole thing.

Chapters 1-3 have been revised with extra scenes, better grammar, and better flow into each other. Chapter’s 4-5 are currently being reworked, and Chapter 6 is being written.

Not only that, but I’ve split up these long-ass chapters so that they’re easier and less overwhelming to read through.

I can already hear it: “CJ?? Post chapter 6 first??? then go back a revise?? it’s been six months??? why do you hate us??????????”

Going back and “fixing” Chapters 1-5 have done nothing but improve Chapter 6 and the overall story. I’m sorry that it’s been so long that a lot have given up on it, but if I’m going to finish this, I’m going to finish it so that I’m proud of it.

When the final chapter is finished, I’ll be “re-posting” the entire story on AO3, FF.net, Wattpad, and here. And what I mean by that is I’ll go in, edit the chapters and replace them with the new ones, as well as split them into their proper parts, and release the ending. I won’t take down or delete the stories because I want to keep the reviews they currently have.

I’m just telling you this because right now, you’ll see this:

Chapters: 5/6

And when it’s finished, you’ll see something like this:

Chapters: 10/10 [or something, I don’t know the exact number yet]

That’s where [with you] stands.

Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me and this story. I hope you love it when it’s finished.

I added this in as an opportunity to tell me what you wanted to see from me or suggest prompts for future stories.

I’ve looked over all of them and tucked them away in my prompt folder.

I added this as a “final thoughts” section where you could suggest other things or say something that’s on your mind.

Again, I’ve looked over all of these several times and took them into consideration.

I also want to express a huge thank you for the amount of support I received while reading through them.

I hate to get mushy-gushy here at the end of this long post [and kudos to you if you actually made it this far holy shit], but I love you all.

Except you, hate anon[s]. Still iffy on you.

Seriously, you guys make running this blog, writing fics, and replaying these games worth it. I can’t express how much y’all have helped me and I’m happy to still be here. Yeah, Clementine’s story is over but that doesn’t mean I’m over it and I’m happy to have so many people here who I can talk about this with.

Thank you. ❤️

#asks #twdg fanfic appreciation #[with you]#[with you] update #twdg #twdg clementine #twdg louis #twdg mitch #twdg omar #twdg aj #twdg lee #this is long #but important #thank you

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ghost-town-story · 5 years ago

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Alright my friends are bastards who made a bet on this, but it’s ramble time about OG story and the rewrite. Let’s goooooooooo

Ok so I think the best place to start out with is with the characters. So I’ll recap the character bios from when I reread this shit, then go into how they’d change for the rewrite.

OG Kiddos: They’re all ~13 here Melody: Protag. Basically my self insert lel. Secret princess of another world. For reasons, she was brought to this world as a kid and adopted by a random family (oh wait it’s my fam). For (basically) plot reasons, said family dies and she’s being foster/adopted by her nameless foster mom. Magic powers are shapeshifting, elemental, and some dumb thing that’s never relevant Finn: Named and modeled after my crush at the time, also Melody’s crush (and eventual boyfriend/husband lol). Magic powers are shapeshifting and Jake’s stupid magic powers Jared: I’ve posted about Astral Jared a lot. Just imagine that, but way shittier bc this is the dawn of his creation lol. Will’s twin. Magic powers are elemental, time powers (that are rarely mentioned), and some weird shit that boils down to, he’s a seer and also way overpowered lol Will: Jared’s twin. Again, just take whatever I’ve mentioned for Astral Will, and make it shitty bc he’s a baby. Magic powers are he’s a werewolf, a telepath, and for a hot minute he had what was basically the opposite of Jared’s OP power. That got dropped I think before the story transferred from paper to computer tho, bc it was never used/never fit with his character Jake: Mel’s foster brother who turns out to actually be her real brother, through a series of coincidences. Same thing happened with him when he was a baby, due to time fuckery he’s now the same age as Mel, and he was raised in a Spanish-speaking home so he’s fluent. Magic powers…. please. they’re so stupid. Don’t ask me to elaborate

And now the rewrite boissss Melody: From another world, but doesn’t realize it. Thinks she was abandoned as a toddler (she kinda was). Her foster mom ends up adopting her, and she takes on the role of “big sister” for any other kids they end up fostering. Magic powers would be elemental and shapeshifter (rip dumb irrelevant thing) Finn: The quiet, stoic one. Best friends with Mel since childhood, ends up with a crush on her and has no idea how to handle it other than “Turn it off!” (sorry i had to lel). Magic powers would be shapeshifting again. Trash powers are going in the gotdamned trash Jared: ehehehe let’s just take Astral Jared and take away the trauma and we have this lil dumbass lol. Very much a dumbass, very oblivious, 10/10 would try to shake some brains into his head. Magic powers would be elemental and seer, taking away the weird connotations with his seer powers. Depending on plot, I might also bring back the time manipulation, but that’s still unknown Will: Again, take Astral Will and take away the trauma, and he’s a sassy lil shit. 10/10 would be the one shaking Jared’s dumb ass. Still a werewolf, still a telepath. His magic is easy yo. Important note: All the above kiddos would be around 15. I cannot write them at 13 bc I cannot write 13-year-olds without intense shame Jake: Pequeno bebe. Similar case to Mel, abandoned as a baby, but the family that found him quietly took him in and raised him as their own. Due to plot reasons that have yet to be figured out, he ends up in the foster system and with Mel. Very quiet and shy, but with a ferocious temper once raised. Also hella gay panic at Jared. He’s significantly younger than the others, by at least a grade or two, so around 12/13 I think. I also have no clue yet what his magic powers are gonna be, since trash ones are trashed. Ryder: Mel and Jake’s dad. He’s had a name since the OG sequel, but he’s being added here so I can refer to him easier Cassiopeia: Mel and Jake’s mom. Also being named for ease of reference later

Alrighty, that’s enough of that. Now onto the stories!

Original plot: It was trash. But I’ll summarize the trash as best as I can.

So basically, mysterious voice tells Mel and Finn to go on an adventure (who the voice is, I honestly don’t remember). So, being absolutely idiotic, wannabe heroic 13-year-olds, they say “Sure!” and off they go!

Meanwhile, Jared and Will get kidnapped by Ryder as bait to draw Mel in. Why? Because he is a colossal dick. Also he needs Mel for something (I don’t quite remember what. Besides a giant “fuck you!” to Cassie). So off they go to another world.

Mel learns Ryder has Jared and Will, also learns he’s her real father, yaddah yaddah, goes off to confront him with Finn in tow. They don’t.... He ultimately gets away, yay victory, kiddos go home, Jake has more than a few throwaway lines. That’s... about it tbh

Now keep in mind for the rewrite, I don’t have everything quite planned out. But here we goooooooo

Jake has been with Mel and her foster mom for at most, three ish months by this point, bc we gon start approximately first day of school ish. Therefore, Jake finally meets Will and Jared, and as kids are stupid and stupidly vicious, there’s some teasing him. Jake has amber eyes and a birthmark on his face. Kids are mean.

One of them calls him a werewolf, and of course Will intervenes, and because he’s a sassy lil shit, the following interaction happens:

Jake ducked out from under the boy’s arm. “I can handle myself!” he hissed.

“Oh, I don’t doubt it. But those kids were pissing me off. After all,” and his easy grin shifted into something more... predatory, “they wouldn’t know a real werewolf if one bit them in the ass.”

Sassy dumbass.

So at some point soon thereafter (probably for like a week or so), Jake notices this dude hanging around the school every afternoon when they get out. But when he points him out to anybody, the guy just disappears before anybody else notices him.

But Jake sees him. And his familiar amber eyes and birthmark.

So maybe one afternoon Jake slips away from Mel, or he ducks out of the house one Saturday to go back, to see if he can find the guy and see wtf is up.

And so Ryder takes Jake with him. Kidnapping? Coercion? fuck if i know yet!

Mel has gone full on mama bird/big sister on Jake, so when he disappears, she starts to worry almost immediately. When he’s still not found for ages, it only gets worse. Finally, she drags Finn and Jared and Will out to the school to help her search, because maybe there’s something magical going on, but also she has to find Jake.

They don’t find Jake, but they do find a portal. So with a little preparation, these idiotic wannabe heroic kids jump through said portal to see about rescuing Jake.

(how do they know they’ll find Jake through the portal? Maybe they don’t. Or maybe Jared’s seer powers have told him something. shhh this isn’t well planned out)

What happening to Jake as this goes on? Good question

Mel and Co end up running into somebody else who is also seemingly stalking the same place as them. Turns out, yo, it’s Cassie!

“What are you doing here?”

Melody refused to back down under the woman’s glare. “I’m looking for my brother.”

“Your brother is not here.”

“Yes he is here, and I’m going to get him back!” Melody snapped.

“I made sure he was safe. There is no way he can be here.”

Melody had a realization. “I don’t care about what brother I may have had once upon a time,” she hissed. “He was lost to me the second my parents abandoned me. I’m here for Jake.”

To her surprise, the woman’s face twisted with worry. “Jake?” She turned to the castle. “Oh Ryder, what have you done?”

*meanwhile, elsewhere*

Ryder: Dammit Cassie, not everything is my fault!

And that’s about all I have thus far lol

#writing #shitposting #ramble ramble #the og story #worldbuilding

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resbang-bookclub · 5 years ago

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AMA Transcript: Wild Hunt

Next up is @addude to talk about her Resbang, Wild Hunt! Here’s some of what went down:

Q: Asking how you came up with the plot seems like a good place to start. What was your process?

ADdude: Well, I tried to do something with the theme of out of the woods. I tried to think of something that might be scary and comes out of the woods. So, I thought okay werewolf but then remembered that Free was the last one and that got me sad. So I decide let's do a wedding and a fairy king coming to ruin things and he came out of the forest. That was literally my train of thought. I don't know why, but I always imagine weddings going wrong. I've been to several weddings, none go as planned.

Q: I love the running joke about the pool whether Spirit would interfere with the wedding or not. Plot-wise, it felt like the fun times, the calm before the storm lol, but it also felt so in-character. How did you manage to keep everyone in character?

ADdude: I did love that joke. At one point I worried I was overdoing it, but I figured at that point, go through it. I think in the end Spirit did the right thing, so it worked out. Keeping everyone in character was a little hard. I mean this story took place a number of years after the end of the manga and people have changed in that time. Kid is Lord Death and he and Liz are married and have kids. Black Star and Tsubaki are raising Angela and... Black Star is Black Star, he doesn't change that much. I think the key is to having a good idea of who the character is at their cores and building on that.

Q: I love how you balanced not only a large cast of characters, but your OC’s on top of that. How did you manage juggling everyone and their backstories? Did you ever get frustrated or confused or have to backtrack?

ADdude: I start with the main characters and spin from that. Kami and Nene are getting married so they take a lot of focus. They are going through a lot of course, so yeah. Maka is getting a new stepmom so I touched on that, she knows they love each other so she's okay. Her biggest worry is that she doesn't have the right gift. Everyone else is their reactions, like with Spirit having to accept his Ex is getting married and everyone’s reactions to everything. As for keeping track, I made a short outline to keep track of everything important and I fill in the gaps as I go, then try to touch on the side characters. Though yeah, I had to check back every once in a while to make sure I wasn’t getting something wrong. Since I'm doing the story from last Resbang, I had to reread the past stories to make sure everything was in line.

Q: Was writing this sequel easier than writing your last Resbang?

ADdude: Maybe harder, cause yeah I had to go back and make sure I kept everything in the same canon. At the start of this story is talking to Nene about how she meet Kami. I had an idea of how it went but went back and noticed I changed some things when retelling the story. I honestly forgot that Nene actually punched Kami. Makes more sense in context. They were in the middle of a battlefield and Nene thought she was an enemy.

Q: Speaking of Nene, I just love her lol. She's so cute and strong and loves Kami so much. Where do you draw inspiration for your Soul Eater OC’s? They all have such detailed backstories and each has their own distinct personality.

ADdude: Actually Nene came from another series, she was a minor character in another anime called Is this a zombie. I built a lot on that character, she was very minor so there wasn't much there to start with. But I saw a lot of potential. And Kami came from a joke I made with Soul Dwelling on tumblr, about how Kami was the opposite of Spirit. He was super protective about Maka and Kami was just waiting for grandkids. Both Kami and Nene are an example of just no one stopping me. I got an idea and it just started growing and eventually I had to fully fledged characters. Like yeah, I got a whole story of how they met in battle and how fell in love. Kami's history got even more crazy cause yeah the idea has been around a lot longer for me.

Q: Where did you get the inspiration to make Eu write everything down instead of verbally communicating? That’s so unique and makes her intriguing.

ADdude: Eu is another character from Is this a zombie. Again, that came out from a joke. Eu can fight with a scythe like Maka and I joked that because of that Kami adopted her. Then I actually wrote it, finding a way for it to be canon in both series. The notepad thing is her thing, she has a lot of magic that she can't control. It’s so strong that if she speak it will make her words come into reality so writing it down is the only way for her to communicate. Oddly enough, her armor was to keep her powers in check and was made by Nene in canon. When I found that out I started to connect things and that’s where I eventually got the idea for Kami and Nene to meet and fall in love.

Q: I know a lot of Soul Eater fans have their own ideas of how Maka's mom acts or is, just because she wasn't seen at all in canon. How did you go about characterizing her?

ADdude: I started an RP blog for Kami years back. It started with that joke. There were a bunch of RPers back then who shipped Soma and I thought of a joke of Kami showing up and asking when she was gonna get grandchildren. At some point the joke kept going and had to get serious and slowly I developed a long and strange back story about her life. I just did my best not to contradict canon. Just little by little, she grew as a character.

Q: Where did you get the idea to make Excalibur related to Maka and Kami? I busted out laughing when I read that, poor Maka!

ADdude: It started with Kami being one of the few people who could deal with him. Then I noticed Maka had a soul with wings and how Excalibur gave wings to his user. I eventually connected the things. In one my previous stories I touched more on the relationship with Kami and Excalibur. And I thought, yeah okay he's her ancestor, let’s give him family. And yeah. Maka is a pretty accepting person but... yeah she does everything she can to not think [about] how he could have kids with a person. Just like, try not to think of how that would work. And yeah, in canon Excalibur did hook up with a woman. That HAPPENED!

Q: With so much backstory and characters to balance, what’s your editing process? Did any plot points or scenes not make the final cut?

ADdude: Yeah, some things. I mean, I did want to touch on other people. Like what you brought up about Patty now calling herself the duchess of death, it didn't add to the overall story but I want to touch on the others. Marie had a kid and she's retired. She wants to help Kami but everyone insists she stay behind because she's earned her retirement and they trust her to watch the children. There was a lot of other stuff I wanted to add in about others but [it got] cut out. Like Anya from Soul Eater was actually inspired to go to DWMA because she met Kami and I was going to have her at the wedding but cut her out cause it slowed down the story. I also had a whole other plot that the fairy king was actually working for someone else but cut that off since it would have doubled the story.

Q: It would've doubled the word count??! Dang that sounds interesting, can you give us a summary of what that would've been like, or are you planning to save it for writing later in the future?

ADdude: In the last resbang story I had it that Kami had a history with Arthurian mythology along with Excalibur himself. Kami sorta dated the witch Morgan le Fey. Didn't end well. In fact, due to weird circumstances Morgan was actually the witch that Kami and Spirit killed to make him a death scythe. But a witch of such power and legendary status had tricks. Like Voldemort before her she split her soul, but she survived until Asura woke up the remains of her soul. Then Kami and Co killed her for good. The thing is that Morgan had a fairy teacher and that one would have been behind The Fairy King in this story, coming for revenge for her student. The Fairy King leads an army of shadow monsters, but this person would have been a whole lot scarier and worse. I think I might save them for next year’s Resbang though.

Q: How did you handle the deadlines for check-ins and posting?

ADdude: I tried to pace myself. I tend to write a lot naturally so it helps just to work little by little working my way up to the word count. Luckily for me I was sometimes sick in bed so I got ahead of one of the deadlines and just kept at it. I tend to get sick in winter so that bought some time to work with.

Q: What was your favorite scene to write? And least favorite?

ADdude: I honestly had a lot of fun with Maka and her new family. Just her and Eu and Excalibur trying to figure what gift to get. Soul finally getting fed up and telling her to get anything because her mom would always love it. The end scene with everyone together as a family moment was just nice to give them a nice moment like that. My least favorite would have to be the thing right before the wedding. I do love this character and I hated writing Kami breaking down, knowing she wouldn't get the wedding with the woman she loved.

Q: Congrats on finishing your Resbang! How are you feeling about it overall?

ADdude: Overall I'm happy with what I wrote and that I gave my character a happy ending. What can I say, I love happy endings.

Q: I don't know anything about the "Is this a zombie?" series but i loveeeeeee how you're exercising your artistic freedom and doing a crossover no one else has or would ever consider. I do want to hear more about what exactly inspired you to put these two series together -- was it something as simple as both Maka and Eu having scythes as weapons?

ADdude: So, yeah, it started simply I was watching Is this a zombie and made a dumb joke that Kami was going to adopt Eu because she had a scythe. A lot of stuff I do is just because no one stops me, not even me. But there were connections in both series that pushed that along. Like, how both series deal with death and evil. And both have an arrogant loud mouth that is pretty short. Yes, I’m talking about Black Star and Haruna. Then of course there were the weapons. Meisters had their own weapon and the magical garment girls had weapons too, and they didn’t transform but also seemed to be alive. I thought up the idea that the magical garment girl weapons were somehow based on the demon weapons in soul eater.

Q: Also, why the pairing of Nene and Maka's mom as opposed to another pairing?

ADdude: Yeah, again another joke that took on a life of its own. The joke was that Kami had a thing for red heads and big boobs. Because Spirit was a red head and he himself was a big boob. Then I went past the joke and it kinda made sense. From what we got in canon, Nene had been the strongest warrior and a glimpse to the pass showed her being devoted and serious to her duty. Now she was far more relaxed and didn’t seem to have any real desire to fight anymore. That reminded me of Kami, how she was one the best meisters but seemed to quit to travel around. I started putting a history for them together, they were fighting together standing alone in their fights, so [there was] a lot of mirroring. Until it clicked that maybe they could have something more than just a friendship. And it worked, they were two warriors who’d been through a lot and developed feelings. It worked, so I kept at it.

Q: It sounds like you really like character development and writing characters with a lot of "potential" (that is, not a lot is mentioned about them in canon and much is left up to the audience to speculate). I know you had a fave scene to write but did you have a fave CHARACTER that you enjoyed writing as well, such as a quirk or fact or backstory that you thought up and gave them?

ADdude: Isn’t that what fanfiction is for? Like to fill in gaps the author never got around to… filling. We didn’t know a lot of Nene so I started to put in stuff for the gaps. As a writer my favorite thing is when characters develop, I literally scream when characters regress for no reason or just do stupid stuff for plot. Maka and family were fun to write because none of them have a lot of family normally. I got to explore a little what they would do in a family setting. It always felt weird when I made Excalibur serious and trying to keep in character. But, yeah, he was angry, so I had an excuse. Spirit was fun. He’s usually so goofy and here he had some serious moments dealing with letting go. I tried to stay in character and yeah, he would be upset and a bit hurt but would try to let the person he loved move on. I liked adding some growth to him. Hell, I’m pretty sure everyone had some growth in this story. Crona is calmer now off the moon from my last story. Maka and Soul are comfy as a couple and pretty much family. Kami pushing through her issues that she got from her nasty break up with Spirit. Liz is a responsible mom and helping everyone out. Black Star is being a dad, sort of. But yeah, development for all.

Q: I'm kind of curious as to where in canon it says that Excalibur hooked up with a woman LMAO... or maybe I saw it myself and just erased it from memory...

ADdude: Okay, that might have been a bit of a stretch. We saw him in bed with a woman in one of his stories. So, you have to take that with a grain of salt. Then again, it’s canon that the Arthur stuff was true and he was different back then. So who’s to say what’s true. But yeah, I’m taking that as true.

Q: What do you think you'll write about next?

ADdude: I’m still trying to edit my own book, so progress is slow. I’ve somehow got like four Star Vs the Forces of Evil stories going along with other fanfics of various fandoms. And I am working on a Soul Eater Abridged series as its writer and several voices and editor. Working on episode two. And I’m writing Thanos snap fics, like what it would happen if the snap affected other worlds and yeah the Soul Eater world is on the chopping block list. I do have some idea for how I want to continue this Resbang story, maybe for next year. I don’t have everything ready, but maybe Maka has her own family in the near future.

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Thanks to addude for stopping in! Stay tuned for one final transcript tomorrow!

#wild hunt #ama transcripts #addude

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