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sorryimananti-romantic · 1 year

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Aurora

strategist!yunho x spy!reader

falling in love with the enemy?au

genre and warnings: some fluff, loads of angst, slow burn, suggestive, manipulation, betrayal, lies lies lies, blood and violence warnings, swearing, human lab rats, mentions of self-harm (picking at old scars), lmk if i missed sth.

word count: 26.5k

synopsis: you're finally working at halaland's most prestigious research centre as a skilled cryptographer. reality is, you're a utopian spy trained by the crescents to uncover the suspicious activity in the medical research department. to get there, you must first become a part of jeong yunho's strategy team and win his favour. however, as you both get closer, the presence of secrets burden you both and you know you're up for eventual heartbreak when you fall in love. you dread when he'll learn who you truly are.

manager-nim: @eightmakesonebraincell (made sure i got my ass working on this and yeah couldn't have done this without her <3)

You didn’t know what you were expecting when you stepped within Halaland, legally, for the first time. One could argue about the legality of your admission into the country but as far as everyone was concerned, you were a Halaland native returning from Mist Island after training.

“The wind is not different. The land is the same. I wonder why we have so many differences?” You wondered out loud and Seonghwa shot you a warning look, making the others in the car squirm.

“No matter how much this place feels like home, remember what you are here for,” Seonghwa looked at all three of you as he said. Everyone nodded in synchrony. “As of this moment… we’re strangers and I’m just the poor Mr. Park who was unfortunate enough to be collecting young female researchers from around the continent. Now… I hope you all remember who you are?”

“Aurora,” you called your new name, the way it rolled off your lips feeling foreign even to you. “For the cryptography team.”

“And the strategy team if you’re lucky,” Seonghwa reminded you of the first step towards your ultimate goal and you gulped, nodding. While he talked to Byeol and Nami, you resorted to watching the apple farm pass by as you drew closer to the Capital.

If someone had asked you a few years ago- before the war with Utopia began- what profession you saw yourself in, you’d say teaching in a breath. Teaching maths. Your original dream, before Halaland announced war on your home and snatched everything from you- family, friends, and dreams.

It was ironic that you were now in the very land you hated to the core, as their researcher. As the notorious Halazia Research Center- home to the most dangerous weapons on the continent- came into view, you couldn’t help but wow at the endless array of towers and buildings that must make up half of the Capital. It looked plain enough for the horrors it had been producing for a decade now. You straightened and put on a practised smile before you stopped at the gate for identification.

Thankfully, none of you held your breath as they went through your tags and got a good look at you. Seonghwa said a few words to the guards and then they let you through, leading the car to the Security Office.

You got off and took a quick glance around at the grey structure and the signs in their native language before greeting the middle-aged man who you very well recognised.

“Ladies, it’s a pleasure to finally have you here,” he took off his hat and tipped his head in greeting and the three of you curtsied. “I am Dr. Eric Cho, co-director of Halazia. I hope your journey wasn’t too troublesome- I understand you had to travel through land due to the circumstances…”

“Not at all,” Byeol passed her trademark gummy smile, one that charmed not only men but women as well. “I always wanted to see what Utopia looked like. I have to admit it wasn’t much.”

Dr. Cho seemed to like that attitude and he laughed out loud. “I’m sure it’s got some hidden gems too.”

“We travelled around the border so they probably don’t have much to share about the sights,” Seonghwa dug out cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the doctor and you watched them light each other’s cigarettes, sharing a moment which made rage simmer in your throat but you tightened your smile- Seonghwa was only acting. “Shall I take them inside?”

Dr. Cho motioned for one of the officers to escort you inside the Security Office and you weren’t surprised by how thoroughly you were all checked- they didn’t spare one inch on your body, which made you feel a bit uncomfortable. When you were done and came outside, Dr. Cho scanned you.

“Are you the one who decrypted our code in the shortest time so far?”

“3 minutes and 28 seconds, Doctor,” you saluted. “Aurora Han at your service.”

“That’s a whole 2 minutes shorter than the previous record-holder,” his eyes twinkled and you passed a proud smile. “Do you know what can happen in 2 minutes?”

“The world can change in 2 seconds.”

“I like her,” Dr. Cho laughed. “Cryptography Department, is it?”

“Keep an eye on her,” Seonghwa nodded. “Puzzles are not the only thing she is good at.”

Before the doctor could ask more, Byeol and Nami were out and the five of you had lunch where the doctor briefed you about the ambitions of this research centre and what they were striving for. It was pretty well rehearsed and felt like something he had narrated multiple times so you just listened to every word and nodded like a schoolgirl. After that, you followed an officer to the Cryptography Department where you filled the paperwork so you could get a pass and start working from tomorrow.

“Shall I ask one of those guys to give you a tour of the department?” The officer asked, looking pretty tired.

“It’s alright, I’ll just find my way to the dorms, I think the fatigue is finally catching up,” you said and he bowed before leaving. You picked up your belongings and exited the office, taking a deep breath.

This was it.

After 3 years of training as a member of Crescent- a group of spies in Utopia that infiltrated into Halaland to find something, anything to win the goddamned war, you were finally here. As you walked along the corridors, peeking into the labs and memorising the path, you couldn’t help but feel both terror and a sense of accomplishment. You weren’t afraid, no. You were terrified of the fact that whatever you did here could turn the tide of the war.

You were looking at the picture of the alumni of the department, recalling their names in your head. You remembered what the Captain- the mastermind behind the Crescents- had said time and time again:

“The easiest way to get wherever you want is to get into your senior’s good graces. The easiest way to get caught, however, comes after that.”

You were staring holes at the picture of the person you wanted to approach first when someone cleared their throat behind you, making you nearly jump out of your skin.

“You seem to know them.”

You turned around with a hand on your heart, greeted by a tall figure in a uniform you very well recognised, the black outfit producing a striking contrast with the gold medals and red details. The Strategy Department.

“Of course I know them,” you managed to say as you took a careful step away. “Who doesn’t?”

He smiled, standing beside you. “Are you the new recruit?”

“I thought that was obvious,” you couldn’t help yourself and he grinned. You stifled a smile- he had quite a friendly face. “Do you work here too?”

“I work… around,” he said and you didn’t probe further. “I’m mostly on the field though. I bring data back. So… Miss?”

“Han. Han Aurora,” you told him and he nodded.

“Aurora,” he tested, a subtle raise of his brow as he scanned you and you licked your suddenly dry lips. “Do you need help finding the dorms? I reckon you’d want to get rid of your bags before you memorise every face on the frames in this hall.”

“Sadly, yes,” you replied. You could return his humour if that was what he wanted. He seemed to be pleased and offered to hold your bags but you insisted you were fine.

“Let me have my gentleman moment, please,” he laughed and you finally handed him your bags.

“I thought you’d have quite a bit of those moments on ‘the field’,” you commented as you walked beside him.

“Not really,” he shook his head. “I’m only a gentleman when I’m not on the field.”

You ooh-ed dramatically at that, making him grin. After walking to the third floor and taking a few turns, you finally arrived outside the rooms.

“Men on the left, women on right,” he pointed. “You could probably choose your own room there. We don’t have many women in this field.”

“Well, I’ll take my bag from here,” you smiled. “Thank you, Mr…?”

“Jeong Yunho, from the Strategy Department.”

—-------------------

The lab in the Cryptography Department was going to be your workplace and it was everything you had expected- a bit tense, occasional jokes to lighten the mood, some of them scribbling while the others typing endlessly into the computers. You weren’t surprised by the vibe.

However, you were surprised when Jeong Yunho from yesterday introduced himself as a member of the Cryptography Department.

“He’s everywhere, you’ll get used to it,” Dr. Takashi, your team leader, said dismissively.

“When you’re from the Strategy Department… you need to be everywhere,” Yunho explained with a grin.

“Sounds fun,” you made a face and began setting your things on the desk, glancing around. “So what are your contributions to the Cryptography Department, Mr. Jeong?”

“Call me Yunho,” he smiled. “I’ll admit, not much. It’s you guys who will be cracking all the codes. Meanwhile, you, Miss Aurora, will be reporting to Dr. Takashi there with all your findings at the end of the day, and if you’re good enough, who knows? You might be assigned to my team.”

“He’s just pulling your leg,” Kate, who sat nearest to your desk, rolled around in her chair and looked pointedly at Yunho. “He’s the Strategy Department’s ace. Anyone who comes under his wing either ends up losing it or begging to quit, because once you’re assigned to him? Your life gets harder.”

“Ah, is that why you’re purposely slacking off these days, Kate?” Yunho raised a brow in challenge and Kate pursed her lips guiltily.

You remembered every detail about Jeong Yunho from the files you had read on him. Skilled cryptographer though he was playing humble here, very skilled strategist and you supposed the title of ‘ace’ fit him since his contributions stretched across multiple departments, including the Medical Department- your end goal. You knew in your bones that this man was dangerous and you could not afford a single mistake around him, but the fact that he was so… relaxed? Cheerful? Quite a contrast to the otherwise tense environment in the lab.

It put you off guard, and you did not like it.

“Shall I… try then?” You asked, drawing their attention. “I’ve been told I’m not that bad a strategist.”

“Hmm, my team has grown smaller in number in the past few months,” Yunho considered. “I like that ambition. Dr. Cho had a lot to say about you, so if you prove yourself, I might personally put in a request for you to be on my team.”

“I’m suddenly not sure if I want that,” you laughed nervously and Kate snickered.

“Yunho, you’re scaring the new kid! Get out of here, it’s only her first day, don’t overwhelm her,” Kate practically pushed Yunho out of the cubicle, his laugh ringing in the lab and the others present smiling faintly as he passed by. You frowned a bit- it was only a few hours into your first day but it was already full of surprises.

The rest of the day passed by with you studying the codes that came in for the day- thankfully, Halaland hadn’t cracked Utopia’s code of communication yet. You, of course, knew exactly what it said, being one of the masterminds behind the code creation, however, you knew you were going to be treading on dangerous waters here. You remembered what the Captain had told you-

“It’s harder to pretend that you don’t know anything than to pretend you know something. So when you see our code, how will you blend in? If you don’t provide a meaningful contribution, they’re going to transfer you out of the Capital. That means you’re done for. However, if you crack the code entirely, that means you’ve studied similar codes, which means you might be acting as a spy. So what will you do?”

“Lay low for a while and then plant an idea in someone’s head,” you had replied. “When the person gets closer to cracking the code, I’ll step in and steal the spotlight. They might call me shameless for it but in the end, what will matter is that it would be me who eventually cracked the code.”

It was only a matter of ‘when’ now, and you would thankfully be getting that message through this very code soon, by the Captain himself. Before that, you were going to start putting your plan into action and build your background so that you coming to the solution wouldn’t seem out of the blue.

And that meant you had to trick the entire Cryptography Department. That was easy- they lived in their own heads.

But could you trick Jeong Yunho?

Later in your room, you changed into your nightgown and sat at your desk, peeking out of the window to see Dr. Cho conversing with some strangers. You shut your eyes, recalling the lesson you had learnt every day for the past two years-

“You’re my asset, Aurora,” the Captain said and your eyes widened in surprise- the man rarely ever complimented anyone on their skill, let alone call them their ‘asset’. “You’re everything I needed.”

“And what’s that?”

“An innocent face with a deadly brain and a frozen heart,” he patted your arm, looking down at the scar that ran down from your elbow- an ugly gash that was a sign that you were a survivor. “You’d make my perfect little spy. You’re my ace, Aurora.”

You picked at the scar as you told yourself what you were here for.

Revenge. Plain and simple. Revenge for the people you lost, the home they took from you, the families they broke.

All hail Utopia, you whispered to yourself as you met eyes with Dr. Cho through the window.

—----------------------

You let a few uneventful days pass by before you took your first step- which was to steer your colleagues further away from cracking Utopia’s code of communication by pointing them in a similar but totally opposite direction.

It was simple enough- creating notes from the past few attempts of the Cryptography Department, reading books and books of code and puzzles in your spare time which you would spend either in the lab or in the cafeteria, anywhere where you had eyes. You immersed yourself in codebreaking like your teammates but with your progress, you proved everyday that you were better than the others by a good margin.

It was to the point that even your colleagues like Kate, who had initially cared if you were eating well, stopped caring altogether- you could clearly handle yourself. However, as soon as they stopped, you made sure to slack on eating, to doze off while working or scratch your hair out in frustration when you came upon a dead end. That certainly prompted some of them to ask you to take a break, reminding you that a burdened mind would be no good here.

Yunho visited twice- once with confidential information that only Dr. Takashi had the privilege to hear, and the second time to ‘glance’ around, as he put it.

He fired two people that day.

You were standing by a window and recalling the events of that day when Yunho spotted you and joined.

“What are you looking at?”

“The sky’s clear,” you replied casually.

The sky is clear. No aircrafts. No smoke. No cries of the mourners filling the seemingly permanent darkness of the sky.

“I hope you weren’t too surprised by the events of that day,” he glanced at you and you wondered if he had read your mind. “You should have guessed by now that whenever I visit, I’m actually evaluating.”

“I’m… not exactly surprised, I expected that,” you laughed nervously, not meeting his eyes. “I’ve heard enough about you and your fellows from the Strategy Department. I’m just… wondering why Strategy holds the authority to do that. I thought the Head of Cryptography did that?”

“You’re right,” Yunho nodded. “But your Head of Department is far too busy for such meagre tasks. He lets us handle it. Why do you think we hold that authority?”

You looked at him this time. “Because every second is valuable, and you cannot afford to entertain people who’re not contributing?”

“Something along those lines, but to be exact, we cannot afford the people who waste our resources. We’re few in numbers but we need maximum output. And for that, we need people who do not slack, or who at least try. So my next question is, how much are you trying, Aurora?”

Your heart sank despite all the training you had done before arriving here. “I cannot be the judge of that.”

“Exactly. You said you’re not a bad strategist. I see potential in you, but so far I haven’t seen output, Aurora. So if you at least want to stay in the Cryptography Department, I’ll need to see something significant soon.”

Asshole, you thought. You cleared your throat. “I do have this notion that I'm entertaining. I won’t spill until I’m at least 51 percent sure, but I think it could turn the tide.”

“Is that so?” Yunho raised a curious brow.

“I’m just trying my best… Sir.”

Yunho laughed heartily at your sudden use of title and you almost glared daggers at him though his hearty laugh forced your lips to curve a bit. “I’m not pulling rank on you- that was not my intention. But… you keep working on that, okay? I’d like to hear what you’re thinking, even if you’re 49 percent sure.”

With that, he walked off and you watched his tall figure until he paused and turned, catching you staring at him.

“And Aurora?”

“Yes?”

“It’s Yunho for you,” he smiled, disappearing into the shadows. You found yourself stifling a smile at the man who could be both ice cold and warm as the sun.

Who could either unintentionally push you to success in this mission or destroy you if he learned of your true identity.

—---------------------

It was your first day off since you arrived at the facility, but you weren’t going to waste it roaming around. You had a number of tasks for today and you couldn’t risk getting caught.

You woke up at the crack of dawn and went out for your usual jog but to meet Seonghwa this time and exchange information. A few days ago you hid a letter behind one of the tires of his truck and you were going to get your answer today. You spotted Seonghwa and said hi.

“I hope you’ve adjusted well,” he asked, not daring to glance around. The people here may not have their eyes everywhere but they sure had ears.

“I’m managing,” you said with a short laugh. “Did you just get back?”

“No, I’m leaving,” Seonghwa said and you nodded slowly. “I think I’ll be on the road for a while this time.”

“I see… have a safe journey, and may the fates be with you,” you said- the farewell greeting of Mist Island. “And may you not have a problem with the tires. That one looks flat.”

“Yeah, I called someone to help me out with that,” Seonghwa scratched the back of his neck tiredly.

“Well, I’ll be resuming my jog now.”

“Go along, and good luck with whatever the hell you’re doing here,” Seonghwa laughed lightly. “If I get praised to have found you, I’ll assume you’ve succeeded.”

“Of course, I’ll make you proud,” you saluted sarcastically before going back to your jog and analysing the conversation you just had in your head.

You had talked in code- subtle hints on what to do. Seonghwa was going somewhere far but would be travelling through Utopia- the reason he said he’d be on the road for a while. You had pointed out the flat tire where you had sneaked in a note for him a few days earlier. He had answered your question- you were doing good and now you needed to play the cards right- you needed to proceed with the plan.

So later that day, you went to Dr. Takashi and asked him why everyone in the department was analysing Utopia’s code according to maths and logic, rather than language itself.

Dr. Takashi looked at you in confusion. “What exactly are you implying?”

“I’m saying,” you swallowed, pretending to gather your courage- you knew Dr. Takashi rarely bought anyone's bullshit. “Yes, codes are usually connected to maths. It’s some simple formula, some calculation. But what if Utopia’s code is a play on language itself? Utopian language? What if, for instance, this word-” you pointed at what seemed like a random scribble, “-what if this word is a made-up word from different words, or even languages?”

“I understand what you’re implying, but I’m sure someone has already entertained this possibility before you. What makes this time different?”

“If we can crack even one word…” you began. “We could decipher the entire code. We just need to focus on patterns and repetitions and check the similarities with Utopian vocabulary or other languages.”

Dr. Takashi thought for a moment, running a hand through his salt and pepper hair. He looked at you for a few moments and then picked up the phone. You raised a brow in confusion, watching him click 2 for the Strategy Department.

“It’s- it’s just a possibility I was wondering we could entertain- are you gonna fire me?”

“Relax,” Dr. Takashi chuckled and then cleared his throat when the line connected. “This is Dr. Takashi from Cryptograph. Could I have someone from Strategy? I think we might have something worth checking out.”

This time your surprise was a bit genuine- you hadn’t expected him to immediately ring the Strategy Department. You prayed Yunho would come- you had met another person from that department and he really wasn’t pleasant to be around.

But when Yunho entered, he had a knowing smile. “I knew it had something to do with the newcomer.”

“You’re quick,” Dr. Takashi commented. “You should hear her out.”

“51 percent sure?” Yunho asked and you nodded, the doctor looking between you two, lost. “Go ahead then. Surprise me.”

You showed your own framework and explained how with an approach that targeted repetitions and patterns in the Utopian language and worked on unjumbling it might work better and resultantly, shorten the workload. You explained that the focus should be on lingual patterns instead of mathematical ones. If you manage to crack some part of the code, you could at least make some sense of the whole message.

“That’s actually not such a bad idea. Why hasn't anyone entertained this possibility yet? It’s not a new approach as far as I know,” Yunho asked.

“A similar approach was suggested by someone a few days earlier, but they weren't sure just how to implement it. Aurora here, however, seems to have built her own code as a set of guidelines. Certainly makes work easier.”

“I wouldn’t call it ‘guidelines’...” you faltered but the two weren’t impressed by your lack of confidence.

“You built this code in how many days exactly?” Yunho asked, grabbing the document and checking it out.

“One day. 14 hours, to be exact.”

“And this is new? I haven’t seen something like this before, have you, Dr. Takashi?”

“I don’t think so either,” he peeked at the table. “I think you’re not meant to be here, Aurora.”

“What do you mean?” Your heart skipped a beat.

“I mean you should be creating instead of cracking,” Dr. Takashi was clearly impressed, glancing at Yunho as if to dare him to contradict his statement. Yunho, however, remained quiet until he had finished reading the code.

“I think I’ll have the team split into half- one of them can go with this approach while the other continue with their progress. I’ll have you manage that, Dr. Takashi. As for you, Aurora…” he glanced at you, face void of expressions. “Continue entertaining more possibilities- don’t waste time merging with a team unless you’re sure you’re onto something. And this time, I’ll have your ideas that you’re only about 40 percent sure as well.”

You nodded eagerly and he finally smiled. “Good work there.”

“Thank you,” you smiled and Yunho asked Dr. Takashi if he could have a word. You went back to your seat and watched the two talk in hushed voices, glancing at you. You pretended to get back to work, glad that you were the only one who could hear the thumping of your heart.

You’d done it. You had diverted the attention when they came close to actually cracking Utopia’s code. And you might just have landed a seat in the Strategy Department- you were pretty sure the two were discussing it, though you knew the type of person Jeong Yunho was, he would wait a good while and test you a lot more before ever giving you access to the facility’s perhaps most important department.

—-------------------

You stood outside the Medical Department- the largest building in the entire facility, and you sure felt like an outsider in front of the enormous doors. You showed the guard your permit and identification card and he let you in, handing you a pamphlet with a map and requesting that you follow the directions instead of roaming around.

You ignored that. You came to roam around.

You stood in the hallway, a stretch of white and gold leading to glass doors on either side of you, the one on the left for emergency (ICU) and handling outdoor patients (OPD). Most of the traffic was around there, but-

The Medical Research Department was on your right, a semi-restricted area that you needed to get access to. The one the Captain told you about. Your origin as a spy and your end goal.

The war was going to turn 10 this year. Halaland’s war hadn’t always been with Utopia- in fact, Utopia had once been Halaland’s strongest ally, until some political strife that was unknown even to the most trusted agents of Utopia caused Halaland to ‘unwillingly’ turn their weapons towards Utopia- which happened about 4 years ago.

The Captain had told you that the strife was born due to some disagreement in Medical Research. Utopia and Halaland had worked very closely there, and now it was your job now to see if it was just a coincidence that none of the Utopians made it back alive after being expelled when the two went against each other.

You wondered if the Captain was right. What could be in Medical Research? Drugs? Did they finally discover how to extend their life? Or some unexplainable discovery no one could ever begin to comprehend the notion of?

You waited until someone started going towards the right, following a middle-aged woman through the hallway until she turned towards a lab, leaving you alone in the corridor. You hid the map in your pocket and walked until you reached the sign with the layout of the building- Level 1 being the ground floor which contained labs for testing the official samples, Level 2 being the experimentation labs, and Level 3 being the restricted section. You knew all this from the information the Captain had gathered from ex-employees of this facility.

You also knew you could get access to Level 3- the restricted section- if you become a part of the strategy team. That wasn’t the end, though. Your priority was the basement that they called Level 0. The one that not even the residents of the Medical Department knew of.

The one that, if still in operation, might have something that could lead Utopia to salvation.

You heard someone come and you pretended to be lost, looking at them for help. It was a man about your age. “Looking for someone?”

“I’m wondering if I should give my blood sample here or in the OPD,” you let your voice shake nervously.

“Cryptography Department? You must be here for your monthly exam,” he asked and you nodded. “Well, you’ll have to go to the OPD for that, but if you’re already here, I’ll save you the trip, follow me.”

You thanked him, walking a few steps behind him and he asked if you had received the map or instructions before entering. You told him it was your first month here and the guard was too busy eating snacks to provide help. The man shook his head, telling you this wasn’t the first time someone had strayed here.

After giving your blood sample, you walked back to your department slowly, calculating the outcome of each move you could make from here on. There were a number of paths the Captain had sketched for you, but he had trusted you as long as you reached your goal with minimum damage. But no matter what, you had to win Jeong Yunho’s favour and get yourself in his strategy team if you wanted to get to Level 0.

And maybe it was time you showed Yunho just what you were made of.

You went straight back to your lab and started working on another code-cracking framework you had been building for the last two days. Once you were done, you analysed it with a few samples of Utopia’s code.

If anyone could actually figure it out (which you were sure no one in this lab would) it could break at least half of Utopia’s code language. For days, you had built everything for this exact moment. With your heart skipping beats to the point you had to sit down and shut your eyes for a few seconds, you got up and walked to your colleague Sam.

“Can I have a moment?”

He looked up, pushing his glasses up and his tousled washed-out hair away. “Sure. What’s the matter?”

You took a seat next to him. “You specialise in the structures of codes, right? I was wondering if this framework makes any sense to you- I thought an external opinion would be good because my brain’s a mess right now and I don’t want to dump this away without being sure.”

“Ah, let me see,” Sam started going through the document and you watched him look unimpressed until you pushed at the Utopian code’s samples you had been working on, which was when he detected the pattern and looked at you in surprise.

“Where did you get this?”

“The framework? I built this-”

“No, the samples,” he began, opening his drawer and pausing to check the date on your copy of samples before rushing through his drawers, creating a mess and then asking Kate to get two copies of the samples from all the dates you had already analysed. You pretended to be nervous but you were actually sweating visibly.

“Is everything… okay?”

“Yeah- yeah, everything is okay,” he nodded, his pitch uneven. “I just need to make sure you have the right samples.”

Kate arrived, looking intrigued and you both watched Sam double-checking everything and even calling the linguist in the room. You kept scratching at the skin around your fingernails until Sam finally took off his glasses and looked at you in disbelief.

“I think you’ve done it, Aurora. We’ve never been closer to cracking the entire code.”

You almost cried out in disbelief, looking around to see the rest with genuine smiles on their faces. Sam told you to follow him to Dr. Takashi’s office where the two of you briefed him on your progress and he immediately pulled the codes that had been intercepted today and let you work on it. You decrypted about 25 percent of the code.

“It makes sense,” Dr. Takashi studied it. “Unless we’re all gaslighting ourselves to believe it does. I think we should still get Strategy to see it- if they can get this to the engineers, they might be able to feed this format into their machines, which would make decryption a matter of mere seconds. We could win this war, Aurora, because you sit holed up in a corner with those stupid gummy bears and your codes, do you understand?”

This time, your tears of happiness were real, though not for the reason they thought.

I can win this war.

“I guess it’s a battle of who falls first- Aurora’s teeth or Utopia.”

“That’s a bad joke, Sam,” you rolled your eyes, laughing. “My teeth are perfectly intact. Gummy bears are harmless.”

“Says who?”

You turned to the familiar voice- Yunho, entering and looking just as surprised to see you. “Don’t tell me you called me because someone has cavities.”

You turned to Dr. Takashi- when did he call him? Or did someone else?

“Those gummy bears might have contributed to the decryption. Take a look at this, Yunho, and tell me what you make of it.”

Yunho looked sceptical as he glanced at you before sitting down. You gulped involuntarily as he analysed the document faster than even Dr. Takashi who was supposedly the expert here. He checked the decrypted sample.

“You broke the code?” He glanced at you.

“A bit of it, it seems?”

Yunho stared at you as if he had figured you out, scanning every bit of your face and your body language. When he finally got up, you almost sighed in relief. “I’ll get this to the Department. Aurora, follow me please.”

You gathered up the rest of the documents, arranging them as you followed Yunho who looked even taller in his uniform- perhaps he had just returned from the ‘field’. He turned as if he had felt you staring at him and smiled encouragingly, allowing you to fall in step with him.

“So what’s it about the gummy bears?”

“I may have a severe addiction, Sir.”

Yunho grinned at the way you formally put it. “And that addiction may have contributed to this outcome? If so, I might send a request to the government to send funds for… ‘snacks’.”

“Definitely,” you grinned but it fell when you felt another nervous cramp in your stomach. “Can you please tell me what to expect? I might fall down at this rate, I’m very nervous.”

“I’ll catch you if you fall,” Yunho said and your heart lurched at the way he so casually said that. “Well, Strategy is nothing like the Cryptography Department. I’m not saying your bunch is relaxed but everyone is always tense in our department. You’ll see what I mean- just try not to speak unless you’re spoken to, and try to… stick with me.”

You made an impressed face. “Thank you.”

“Thank me later,” Yunho said and you exited the building, the evening sun casting a golden glance and making Yunho’s skin glow beautifully.

“Try not to stare at anyone if you can help it,” Yunho caught you looking and you felt like you could disappear- so much for training to be subtle. Yunho always caught you looking at him and that did nothing but worsen your unnecessary want to keep looking at him.

“I don’t stare at just anyone! What do you take me for,” you almost mumbled. “You stare more than me.”

“That’s because I’m figuring you out.”

“Who says I’m not looking at you for that reason too?” You countered.

Yunho paused, stifling his smile. “Figuring people out is a part of my job, Aurora.”

Sure is.

“Figuring people out is a part of my personality,” you simply said.

“And would you say you have me figured out? With the amount of times I’ve caught you looking at me, I bet you have…”

“Are you…” you laughed. “Trying to flirt or something? And no I haven’t figured you out, you’re a hard nut to crack.”

The sound of Yunho’s laugh warmed your heart. “That wasn’t my intention, I’m just pointing it out!”

“Sure. Your ears are very red, by the way. You might want to do something about it before we enter your department.”

Yunho shook his head in amusement. “You… you’re really something, Aurora. Before we get in there, I’m offering you something- would you like to be a part of my team?”

You raised a brow. “Just like that?”

“I think I have figured you out enough to be able to make that decision,” he got serious. “Honestly, I almost did this a few days ago when you presented that framework. I found that it made things much easier. I think with your current findings… we’ll definitely have something.”

You considered for a moment, trying to figure out what the glint in his eyes meant. Was he actually impressed? Even if he was, which you supposed everyone was at this point, he definitely had some plans for you. You weren’t sure if you wanted to join his team or someone else’s in Strategy, but goodness, was he a breath of fresh air in this land that suffocated you to the core.

“Can I tell you my answer after we’re done for the day?” You asked and he nodded earnestly, motioning for you to follow him.

The first thing you noticed when you entered the department was the noise. There were people freaking out, to put it simply. Messages exchanged across the room, people rushing around with documents in their hands, superiors barking orders- a stark contrast to the comfortable silence of Cryptography. To reel you in from that mess, Yunho put a hand on your back to guide you across the hallway, leading you to the office upstairs.

“We’re meeting the supervisor. She’ll know what to do with you, and she might offer you something better as well. I know I would too, if I was her.”

“Well, that’s certainly relaxing,” you shivered and he grinned. “Let’s get it over with.”

With a knock, Yunho entered and bowed with you following suit. “This is Aurora from the Strategy Department.”

“Ah, the one you can’t shut up about?” The supervisor said- a very elegant middle-aged woman. You turned to Yunho who was yet again blushing from his ears. “I’m Dr. Angela Choi. It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”

“The pleasure’s mine,” you said and took a seat.

“What do we have now?” Dr. Choi asked.

Yunho handed you whatever files he had and urged you to go ahead and explain. You straightened and knowing now was the time you needed to impress the Strategy Department, you fell into explaining the background of your approach first, briefing her about whatever progress you had made up until now.

“That’s certainly one way to look at it- more plausible than what we had so far,” Dr. Choi studied your framework. “I like this. Even if it doesn’t work, the approach you’re taking is fresh. Perhaps because you’re young?” She laughed.

“Come on, you’re not too old yourself,” Yunho laughed along and you could sense they were comfortable with each other. “Aurora, she’s… quick. Intelligent.”

“Yes, I think someone like her shouldn’t be hiding in Cryptography,” Dr. Choi seated back, looking relaxed. “Perhaps she should join our department. Maybe with the computer scientists? They’ve been trying endlessly to make their decryption devices more efficient. They just don’t have the right data to feed in. I’ll hand them this data- it could change the course of this war. You understand that, Aurora?”

“I do, but,” you looked around. “I expected this conversation to be more… tense.”

“I understand. I must seem very laid back, huh?” Dr. Choi smiled. “I haven’t sat in my office in ten days. I was occupied at the field, at the heart of all operations. Strategists have to be able to work well under pressure.”

“Not just the strategists…” you sighed. “It’s just very different here than in Mist Island.”

“Ah, yes, Mist Island. They were losing the war, weren’t they, until they joined us?” She asked and you nodded. “Those who have more to lose, they break under the idea itself. We have a lot to lose too, yes, but we’ve been winning this war for years now. It’s only a matter of time until it ends.”

You were genuinely impressed by her confidence, even though it disgusted you to the core how little they cared about the losing side. Dr. Choi continued. “We’ve created a somewhat relaxed and peaceful environment so our cryptographers, engineers, doctors and nurses don’t feel burdened. We give them deadlines, yes, but we, the strategists, take all of their burden. We don’t want anyone else to break under pressure or we’ll lose. So, how well can you handle pressure, Aurora?”

You looked at Yunho whose smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. You wondered why. “I can handle it well, Doctor.”

“Very well. Consider my offer but if you want to stick to your current department, that’s alright too. Mr. Jeong, if you can escort her back?”

“Yes,” he got up and bowed and you followed him outside, navigating out of the hustle until you exited the department and Yunho exhaled like he could finally breathe.

“Care for a drink?”

“You must really want me to join your team,” you smiled and he shook his head in amusement.

“I’m just really thirsty, but I’m also wondering what’s on your mind.”

You accepted and he took you to the cafeteria, taking the window seats. You looked at him. “Halaland must have an ace up their sleeve. I’ve seen what the losing side looks like and this is far from it.”

“Perhaps,” Yunho’s tone was cryptic. “Isn’t it good to be on the winning side?”

“That’s debatable too, but that’s also the reason I’m here,” you told him. No lies there. “What does your team offer?”

“Field work. Assessing the situation and taking steps accordingly. Guiding the cryptographers and the other departments. We make the decisions that could save lives, but our decisions are not always in our favour. And most importantly, in war there’s sacrifice. You understand what I mean, don’t you?”

You nodded, eager. You were so close to your destination now. “I like that, but tell me… do you always scout people like this?”

That took Yunho by surprise and he laughed and you couldn’t help but join. “You’re the first. I’ve never had to practically beg someone to join my team. Usually the higher-ups make that decision for me and I only decide if I want to keep them.”

“You might change your mind later,” you shrugged.

“I won’t know until I work with you though,” he sipped his coffee, scanning you. “So? Do you like Dr. Choi’s offer more?”

“I’ll join your team,” you said and watched how he relaxed a bit. “I don’t want to be holed up with the machines. That’s not my forte.”

“Do you mind me asking… who trained you before you came here?”

Your heart skipped a beat as the face of the Captain flashed behind your eyes. But you had another name to give- another mentor who was just like you, a spy who made his place here. “Dr. Kang who, I believe, is in the Medical Research Department here?”

Yunho raised a brow at that, surprised. “Dr. Kang trained you? He must have trained you for the Strategy Department then. Why begin with Cryptography?”

“He wasn’t sure I could handle it,” you placed your cup on the table. “And he might be right. We’ve all lost something in this war, haven’t we?”

Yunho unconsciously glanced at what was visible of the scar on your arm and you caught that, tugging your sleeve down which took him out of his trance. So he had noticed. He cleared his throat, meeting eyes with you.

“We all have,” his voice was thick with emotion and you could tell he had lost something- or someone important too. “Well, let’s hope you can show Dr. Kang that you can handle more than he thinks.”

“Do you know Dr. Kang personally?” You asked, actually curious. There was no way-

“Kang Yeosang, right?” Yunho was smiling. “He’s an old friend. He got me here.”

Your heart sank. Yunho was Kang Yeosang’s old friend? Was he also a spy then? But… there was no way you could confirm that. And if he was not a spy for Utopia…

That meant he was more dangerous than you had thought.

“Wow… what a coincidence,” you exhaled. “Yeah, it’s been a while since I met Dr. Kang. I hope I can see him soon.”

“He’s quite busy these days. Very hard to run into him now,” Yunho finished his coffee. “But tell you what- next time I have business in Medical Research, you may tag along.”

“Sure.”

“Is there a reason you aren’t mentioning that you have medical experience as well?” Yunho asked and you sighed internally- he really was testing you at every point. You wondered why. “I mean… I looked at your resume before making the decision to offer you a spot in my team. But you haven’t told me anything about your previous experiences at all.”

“Does it matter?” You asked. “Everyone in Mist Island was trained to gain some medical experience. I don’t like to go into the details, but the one who found me insisted it be mentioned.”

“Is there a reason behind that? You don’t have to tell me exactly what, I just want to know if you’re okay with medical field work if we’re required to do so in the future.”

“Yes, there is a reason why I don’t like mentioning it,” you told him. “Dr. Kang knows my history. If you trust him… you can trust me, can’t you?”

The way Yunho did not immediately agree told you he must know something- either about you or his old friend. You cleared your throat. “I’m okay with medical field work. I’m not the best but I can certainly assess the situation and act quickly.”

“That’s good enough,” Yunho grabbed his things from the table and you started getting up as well. “I won’t pressure you to do anything you do not want to, so when I offer you an assignment, you don’t have to worry about me firing you if you do not accept it because you’re uncomfortable. I only fire people who are-”

“A burden, a waste of resources, yes, I know the drill,” you finished for him and he grinned, walking with you outside.

“Well then. Pack your stuff, and I’ll see you tomorrow in Room no. 8 of the Strategy Department. Sleep well, Aurora.”

He was about to go but you grabbed his arm lightly and he paused, turning in surprise. “I haven’t thanked you for your kind offer.”

“Thank me later,” he winked and ran off, making you wonder just how you were supposed to thank him ‘later’.

—----------------------

Yunho was nothing like the person you had come to know in the past month when he was working. If you thought you knew him, you were so wrong.

You weren’t sure what surprised you more- the switch of character or the fact that you misjudged him. Perhaps because it was your first time interacting with someone outside of work first. Perhaps you should have expected it-

No. He was different.

He was a natural leader, you were finding. He was respected and possibly even feared by the fresh recruits- your fellows from Cryptography weren’t wrong about him. He took charge of the room, barked orders, maintained punctuality down to the seconds and wanted results. Quick. And anyone who couldn’t deliver was given an earful in private.

He told you he would cut you some slack only on your first day, like he did with everyone. You were no longer ‘Yunho’ and ‘Aurora’. He was ‘Sir’ and you were ‘Miss Han’ which put a strict distance between you. He did not joke around while working at all. You learned that he was right when he said he had to be on his toes, had to make important decisions and choose what to keep and what to sacrifice.

It had been over a week now- you had shifted your dorms, the current room giving you the view of your former workplace but blocking the sun, which you didn’t mind. It was a bit more luxurious too and gave you better room for optimisation, but you had nothing much here anyway.

The emptier the better.

Yunho was the leader of your team- Team no. 8. He reported to Dr. Choi who reported to the Head of the Department. The decision-making usually fell to the higher-ups and the team leaders, and the working dynamics were good. You wondered if that was the reason Halaland was winning.

You wondered how Utopia was handling things- you missed home. You missed the smell of citrus in the air, back before the smell of smoke and blood became a norm. You missed the constantly cloudy but blue sky before it took on an eternal darkness- you were beginning to hate the sun here.

You missed your family who were no longer here, gone together in the dead of night, leaving you forlorn in this world. You missed the new family you had found among the Crescents- even though they insisted attachment would do you no good, the Captain himself had been like a big brother to you. Perhaps because all of you had bonded over mutual loss that you found yourselves unable to not depend on each other, not find comfort in each other. They were home, no matter where you went after that.

You didn’t realise how long you had been standing at the end of the corridor where the dorms were, at the only window in the building that faced west towards Utopia, scratching at the scar on your arm until you felt gentle fingers lace through your hand and place them softly on the window sill.

Again, you were surprised for many reasons as you looked up at the man who was always there when you least expected him, whose footsteps were so silent yet presence so filling, whose gaze was so warm even when he put distance between you. He stood next to you, his hands right next to yours as he looked outside.

“I’m curious what part of this view exactly is so captivating that you’ve been standing motionless for so long,” he commented, peeking out with an unimpressed face. “All I see is barren land and a boring sky.”

“That’s exactly what I needed,” you said, glad your voice didn’t crack, glancing at what you had done- you never let the scar heal. You were always picking at the long gash somewhere. A reminder, you told yourself, though you didn’t need to hurt yourself to be reminded. It already hurt enough. “I didn’t want to be distracted by a pretty view.”

“Makes sense,” he turned towards you, glancing at the bleeding scar again. “Does that hurt?”

You didn’t expect him to inquire directly about the topic you both had danced around since you met. “Not really.”

“Doesn’t look like it,” he tsk-ed. “Do you have a first-aid kit in your room?”

“No?”

“You should have,” he looked disappointed. “I’ll ask someone to give you one. If you’re going to the field, you should definitely have a kit with you at all times.”

“But I’m not… or am I?” You narrowed your eyes and he stifled a smile.

“I thought I’d ask you how your first week had been before offering you to join me,” he put his hands in the pockets of his black slacks. “Was it too much?”

“Not at all,” you glanced down again- it was starting to sting a little especially with the blood wanting to trail down-

“This won’t do,” Yunho sighed. “Come with me.”

“Where?”

“Just… stop questioning me for once and come with me,” he said and you thought you heard the tiniest bit of frustration in his voice so you followed him to the other end of the hall and realised he might be taking you to the men’s dorm. He unlocked the door to his room and you immediately felt like you were being hugged by him- the clean, almost aquatic scent of whatever product he used filled the room.

It was nice.

Yunho motioned to the couch and you glanced around before taking a seat- it looked as empty as your room, the only sign of living some clothes hanging around or food in the kitchen from where Yunho got his kit and came to sit beside you.

“I can do this-”

“Let me,” he insisted, looking at you for permission and when you nodded, he took your arm and examined it, drawing your sleeve up hesitantly until it was above the elbow. He dipped some cotton in alcohol and cleaned it, the sting drawing your focus and when you winced, Yunho shook his head.

“You should stop picking at your scar if you want to work in the field,” he began, his voice low and thick now that he was so close. “It would be a shame if it got infected. I want my members in top condition, you understand?”

“Yes, Sir,” you answered and he grinned.

“I told you, it’s just Yunho for you- when we’re not working,” he insisted and you nodded. “You can ask me now. I can see you have questions.”

“What exactly will we be doing?”

“I cannot tell you until we’re on the mission,” he finished cleaning. “But we might have to travel a bit and transfer confidential data.”

“I guess I’ll join? I have nothing better to do.”

“Ay, are you saying your time at the department is a waste?”

“I mean- yeah, I could keep working but this would be better-”

Yunho laughed, wrapping a bandage around your arm and you pouted when you realised he was back to being the goofy senior you had come to know in your duration here. “I know what you mean, you don’t have to explain yourself. You’ll learn a lot from the field but you should know that everything we see, everything we observe is strictly confidential. You understand that, don’t you?”

“I do, and that’s why I am working here,” you told him and he liked your answer.

“There,” he tied the bandage. “I don’t want to see you picking at your scar again. If you feel like doing that again… come find me and I’ll distract you, okay?”

“Come find me,” you quoted back with a scoff, surprising him. “When you’re the busiest person I know? I thought you were friendly with me just to get me on your team, and then suddenly there’s this distance between us and you’re ‘Sir’ and I’m ‘Miss Han’ and you keep ordering me around and pushing me-”

You stopped when you saw how he was smiling, head resting on his hand, elbow propped on his leg. “What?”

“Carry on,” he urged. “I’m enjoying this.”

“I’m not,” you sighed, your heart suddenly aching at the sight of him- you were getting really annoyed at the way he made you ramble and had you expecting more when in fact, you should be anywhere but here-

“Just say that you missed me, Aurora.”

“As if,” you scoffed. “Thank you for the help. I’m going,” you said and got up but he grabbed your wrist, making you sit right back and you gaped at him as he failed to hold his smile, the smile that changed his entire face and made his eyes curve-

“Well, I definitely missed this,” he said but his eyes changed as he locked them with yours. “You can find me anytime you want. If it’s too much, if anything’s bothering you, you can find me, okay? I won’t let you down.”

You raised a brow. “Do you offer this to everyone?”

“Maybe? Some of it?” He wondered out loud, indicating he might not have offered this to anyone at all, for that matter. “My point is… I know we all have scars, Aurora. Not all are physical. The physical scars? They hurt more here, don’t they?” He pointed at his heart. “You’re… a part of my team now. I want your wits gathered. I want you relaxed because you’ve seen how tense the rest of my team is. I think I can depend on you if you can depend on me- and when we go on this mission, I’d be glad if I’m right about this.”

“Just say that you missed me too,” you laughed and he joined, realising he was still holding your wrist, letting it go gently. “Okay. I’ll try to find you next time.”

“Good,” he nodded, satisfied. “...good.”

You realised he was spacing out as his eyes travelled all across your face. You stared right back- at his kind eyes, at his incredibly charming face, at the way his hair fell on his forehead and when his eyes met yours, he held your stare for a moment too long before clearing his throat.

“Well, I’ll brief you tomorrow about the mission so you still have time if you want to change your mind. Think it over tonight, okay?”

“Okay,” you finally got up, straightening your clothes. “Thank you… for everything.”

Yunho smiled at that and you left for your room, staring at the bandage until you fell asleep.

—---------------------

It was two days later that you found yourself on the road with Yunho, travelling in a military car escorted by soldiers. You two were the only ones facing each other in the backseats but Yunho was currently busy going through some documents and you recalled the conversation you just had with him in the office.

Your colleague Hani, who had field experience, had briefed you about the clauses in your contract- what to do in case you found yourself in a compromising situation or if your life was being threatened in exchange for information. You had a strict non-disclosure agreement already signed, but this was a fresh reminder that anything could go wrong.

And that your life had little to no value so you shouldn’t bother saving yourself by exchanging information. It was like this everywhere, but since it was the enemy you were now working for, you hated the idea of even getting a scratch for them, though the Captain had told you that you would be put in such a situation eventually. Today, you were going to play your part in a rehearsed skit. And today was all about your acting skills.

You touched the locket around your neck that Yunho had given you before leaving. He caught you tugging at it and you put it inside your uniform- all black with red details like Yunho’s. He cleared his throat. “Nervous?”

“A bit, but I’m fine,” you admitted. He was probably inquiring because the locket was your death sentence- a cyanide pill you could use only if all else failed. You recalled the moment when he had secured it around your neck himself and then put his hands on your shoulders, making you lock eyes with him.

“I’ll pray you never have to resort to a situation where you have to use this,” Yunho’s voice was firm. “If you’re in pain, you live through it. Think about your family, your friends, or whoever you’re fighting for. You make it back alive no matter how hard it is, you hear me?”

“Yes, sir.”

“But,” and this time, his voice was steel and gaze so harsh that you wondered if this was the same person who told you he could ask the government to provide funds for your gummy bear addiction. “If you think of betraying your team and someone loses their life because of you? I’d rather you have eaten the pill.”

Your heart sank dangerously and you recalled when the Captain had held you just like this and told you what fate you would meet if you ever betrayed them. You nodded firmly, once. “Of course.”

Immediately, his gaze softened and he patted your arm as he let go. “I know how hard it is to make a decision, especially when they have something on you. But the enemy, no matter how appealing their offer is, you do not give in, okay? If the pain really is too much to handle… I wish you’d live through it instead of opting for this solution.”

“I understand,” you nodded, pursing your lips. “I really do.”

Now, in the car with Yunho who scanned your face as if trying to figure out just what was going through your head, you decided to ask him. “What if we lose each other in the middle of the mission?”

“Glad you asked,” he sighed. “I’ll show you the points where we can gather as soon as we’re entering the town.

And when you did, he sat next to you, pointing at 5 random points that were chosen for today’s mission. He told you their strategy was to always have new points to gather at during every mission so nobody could snitch on them. When you finally reached Sector 1, Yunho made sure your bulletproof vest was secured under your uniform and you had no bugs on you- ‘protocol’, he called it, though you made sure he saw you scowl. You stopped at an old hospital that was now abandoned and got off, the harsh sun making you flinch and immediately wear your shades.

“This hospital used to be the heart of this town, before a bomb struck here,” Yunho told you and you nodded- you recalled that. It was a few years ago when Neverland managed to strike here and you always wondered how someone could be heartless enough to target a hospital.

It made sense later- Neverland, now Utopia’s ally but earlier the enemy, probably also got a whiff of whatever the hell was going on with Halaland’s Medical Research Departments. Innocent lives were lost but you hoped at least something had come out of it.

“I always wondered why anyone would target hospitals,” Yunho said out loud as if he had read your mind.

You cleared your throat. “Halaland targeted hospitals first. I hope you haven’t forgotten your history… Sir.”

Yunho glanced at you, eyes unreadable behind the shades. “Of course I remember. That’s why I said ‘anyone’. What do you think? Why would someone target the hospitals?”

A test, perhaps. You pretended to think. “Doctors… They’re the backbone of any war, and perhaps the most precious asset especially in war.”

Yunho nodded, satisfied. “It’s a low move. I don’t support that, but like I said, sometimes when you strategise, sacrifices must be made.”

“And what came out of sacrificing doctors?”

“That’s not for just anyone to know,” Yunho pointed to the backdoor and you followed him.

“So am I ‘just anyone’?”

“As am I,” he sighed. “I’ve only heard something did come out of it, and something valuable was lost when this hospital was targeted. Pretty sure they weren’t talking about the doctors or the patients.”

You wondered if he really did not know or was pretending. You spotted a shadow behind the door and Yunho confirmed it was the man you were supposed to meet. He led you inside and the man met both your eyes before handing Yunho an envelope- the contents inside you referred to as ‘the key’. He turned to you and you handed him your key. With a nod, you parted ways and exited the hospital.

“That’s about it,” Yunho exhaled in relief. “A simple exchange of information. No words spoken. The information is not for our eyes nor can we interpret it. We’re only couriers.”

“So was that man a spy then?” You asked. “Do you receive information from other lands?”

“I don’t know who that is,” Yunho admitted and you believed him. “But I reckon he must be. You wouldn’t make such a fuss for a local.”

You started driving back, pretending to be relieved that the mission was over when in fact, you were counting the minutes.

And then it happened- you heard the sound of a gunshot and you flinched even when you saw it coming. The soldier escorting you spoke in the radio to make sure everything was clear, but-

“We have a tail, Sir- 2 SUVs. We’re waiting for your orders.”

You looked at Yunho who dared to peek outside before calling in his radio, “Turn west. We’re taking Route no. 3. Provide cover-”

Another gunshot and this time you had to cover your ears and crouch down out of instinct as the windshield shattered. Yunho’s eyes were wide with horror as he took in the sight of the shot driver, the soldier frantically trying to steer the car while putting one hand on the wound on the driver’s chest. You straightened and looked at Yunho.

“I can either drive or provide medical attention- or fight back. What do you want me to do, Sir?”

“How good is your aim?”

You let the faintest hint of a smirk grow on your lips. “Good enough, Sir.”

With that, you dragged the driver’s body to the backseat with the soldier’s help who immediately put pressure on the wound and checked the pulse. Yunho crawled to the driving seat and you borrowed the soldier’s rifle and examined the situation- one of your escort cars was down and you only had one at your front and on your right now.

So you waited until you sighted the tail- a black SUV. You aimed for the tires and shot once, twice, hitting the mark on your second shot which gave the escort car behind you a chance to shoot at the passengers. You broke the rest of the windshield with the butt of your rifle to clear your view, surprising Yunho, and sat on the frame to take another shot, managing to break their windshield this time. They fell back and the escort cars provided cover. The soldier honked and the three of your cars picked speed, the one behind you shooting aggressively. It seemed to have worked and you lost your tail, managing to follow the designated route.

You slid back to your seat, turning to check if you could assist in any way but it was too late- the soldier looked grim as he met eyes with you.

“He was gone within a minute.”

You bit your lips, wondering if you could have saved him had you not been selfish and hesitant about practising medical attention on people anymore. You glanced at Yunho who was clenching his jaw. With a sigh, you rested on the seat as you calmed yourself down from the adrenaline and braced yourself for whatever was about to happen next.

The drive was pretty much silent until you reached the Research Centre, a medical team ready to take the people who lost their lives in the mission. You learned that two other soldiers had died. After paying your respects, you escorted Yunho to your department where the supervisor, Dr. Choi was waiting.

“I heard it went well,” she said and you raised a brow, glancing at Yunho who appeared tense.

“We lost three soldiers today.”

“But you have the key?” She asked, referring to what you had received from the supposed-spy.

Yunho didn’t say anything, just handed the key to the doctor and she didn’t open it. She looked at you. “Report.”

You swallowed. “We had no tail until after we left the hospital. About 800 metres on Route no.1, we received the tip from Escort Car no. 3 about the tail. As soon as Mr. Jeong ordered us to embark on Route no. 3, our driver was shot and we had to improvise. The soldier with us went on to provide medical attention to him while Mr. Jeong drove and I attacked. I managed to puncture their tire and shoot through their windshield which Escort Car no. 2 informed us, helped eliminate one of the 5 passengers in the black SUV without a plate. That’s when we lost them and continued our return.”

“I see. Anything you’d like to add to that, Mr. Jeong?”

“I’ll let you make the conclusion,” Yunho answered, looking like he could kill her. “I don’t know if it’s my position to say this but maybe you should take a look at who’s friend and who’s foe again. No one other than me knew our meeting point. Me and the person we were meeting.”

Dr. Choi shifted in her seat, looking amused. “You’re telling me that I should look into that person and you?”

Yunho shrugged. “I think you know exactly what I meant.”

You poked your tongue in your cheek as you looked back and forth between them. They were practically having a stare down and Dr. Choi finally nodded slowly. Yunho said he would take his leave now, leaving you alone with the supervisor who simply smiled.

“He gets like this when a mission doesn’t go smoothly.”

“I see,” you nodded slowly. So it had happened before. “Anything I should do, Dr. Choi?”

“Let’s see,” Dr. Choi opened the envelope and skimmed through the contents. “Not for now, no. You can take the rest of the day off. You did well.”

—-----------------------

Though your mission today had gone exactly the way you had wanted to- a successful exchange of information followed by an attack, staged by the Crescents just so you could prove you were indeed someone who could be trusted- a test, you realised now, from the Crescents as well- you still felt unsatisfied for a number of reasons.

Firstly, you had not expected the driver of your own car to get shot. You could very well have been hurt as well. You still felt guilty about not caring enough to provide medical assistance- the soldier, you were sure, only knew the basics. You could have saved him. You felt partially responsible for that loss.

You were also worried about just who in Crescents lost their lives in the mission today. You prayed it was no one you knew, but the thought that they were risking their lives like this upset you even when you had seen them go to more dangerous missions and not return. Now that you were a part of this, it stung more.

And then there was Yunho. His reaction to the dead soldier didn’t surprise you- you knew now that he was a compassionate soul no matter how stern and cold he might seem at times. But it was his behaviour with Dr. Choi that surprised you more- was it her nonchalance towards the lives lost that put him off or was it something else?

You had roamed around after getting the day off when it was already almost time for dinner. You met your teammates from Cryptography and checked their progress and they had a good laugh over how far you had come and if you’d last any longer. However, when you headed to your room, you spotted Yunho standing by the window you had met a few days earlier. Your heart tugged at the sight and you considered ignoring him and heading to your room but you wanted to know what was going through his mind right now.

You wanted to figure him out so bad that it was driving you a little crazy, and that was not good. Not in this field.

Cautiously, you walked to him and though he sensed you coming, he didn’t move until you stood next to him, hands on the sill right beside his, so near they could touch. You looked at the view.

“Not a very captivating view, is it?”

A trace of a smile danced on his lips though he maintained his composure. You stifled a sigh and dared to look at him- he looked so very tired and you wondered if he was exhausted due to the events of today or just tired of wearing his mask. Whatever it was, this was the first time you saw such emotions in his eyes.

“I know you offered to me that I could come find you whenever I felt like picking at my scar again,” you began, ignoring your subconscious that sounded a lot like the Captain cursing at you. “I thought I’d offer you the same. I should have offered it that day, but…”

“Thank you, Miss Han, but-”

“That’s Aurora for you-”

“-I’m not picking at my scars-”

“Scars of the heart,” you reminded him before he could tell you to bug off. He looked at you, hair a mess and over his eyes, still in his uniform with quite a few buttons undone and wondering just what your deal was. You gave him a tight-lipped smile. “Have you had dinner yet?”

When he didn’t respond, you tsk-ed. “Do you want to have some ramen? I’ve heard I make killer ramen.”

Yunho finally gave in and scoffed, urging you to lead the way, following you to your room and you almost shut the door behind you when you realised he was still waiting outside.

“Aren’t you coming in?”

“I thought you were going to take the ramen or whatever to the dining hall?”

“Just… come in. I have better snacks,” you told him.

He shook his head. “Of course you do.”

You asked him to make himself comfortable while you went into the kitchen and started cooking. Yunho took that as a sign to roam around in your space- empty walls just like his, the only sign of life the clothes on one chair-

And the unholy amount of the unhealthiest snacks he had ever seen lining the kitchen shelves. He sat on the two-seater table next to the kitchen, watching you cook. “Do you even eat normal food?”

You glared at him, not bothering to respond, focusing on the ramen while he rested his chin on his hand as he watched you until you settled down, scooping some ramen for him and cracking open two beers. You clicked your drinks and ate in silence. He was probably still sorting his thoughts, you reckoned.

It wasn’t until he was finished, drinking his second can of beer that he finally exhaled deeply. You didn’t push, just relaxed back as you swirled your can lazily.

“Thank you for the meal, Aurora. It’s very kind of you.”

“You sound way too formal, Yunho,” you sighed.

“And you sound like me, I’m realising,” he put his head in his hands as he laughed a little. “I must have sounded like this that day, huh?”

“Now you know,” you teased.

He sighed again. “I don’t know what went wrong today. It’s happened before and I’m not even surprised,” he admitted and you nodded. “I’m just… I should have known that no one would give two shits about the lives lost today. All they care about is getting their hands on whatever information can cause the most destruction.”

“‘In war there is sacrifice’,” you quoted him and he lifted his head to look at you.

“I know. But I’m human too.”

“I understand,” you said and he wasn’t surprised at your grim tone.

There were a few moments of silence as you both sorted your thoughts out. “It’s not your fault, about the driver. You couldn’t have saved him even if you wanted to- not with that wound.”

You looked at him- how could he know just what you were feeling when he himself was a mess?

“Neither was it your fault about the events of today,” you countered. “We’re simply couriers. It’s the higher-ups who gave us the orders, knowing the risks. They should feel responsible about the loss.”

“They never do,” Yunho clenched his eyes shut as if a memory pained him. You let him have a moment and he opened his eyes, locking them with yours.

“Listen, Aurora. What happened today should not have happened, but this was your first mission. I’m proud of how you handled it.”

Your heart sank in guilt but you nodded. “Thank you.”

“I do want to keep you as my teammate, but… it’s only getting uglier as the days pass. The higher-ups have stopped caring about the lives lost as long as they get what they want. If you do not want to do this at any point, you let me know, okay? I don’t want to take you to a mission and risk losing you because you didn’t have a clear head.”

“Why can’t you do the same?” You dared to ask and he looked confused. “You could stop going to these missions too. Clearly this has happened before, and you look distraught. You could hang back too, Yunho-”

“I can’t-”

“I’m sure there are other teams that could go-”

“I really can’t,” Yunho locked eyes with you and you paused.

He can’t?

“Why?” You asked and when he remained silent, you knew then.

You knew that he was bound. Just like you, or maybe worse. You were bound to the Crescents and even though they had good intentions, they had promised you hell if you backed off anytime during your stay here. But what was holding Yunho back?

“Then don’t bury it in,” you countered. “I don’t want to go on another mission with you if you don't have a clear head.”

“Look at you ordering me around, Aurora.”

You matched his glare and he ended up looking down, his smile widening. You shared a chuckle as well. “I’m just looking out for myself, Sir.”

“There you go,” he scoffed in amusement. You stared at him for a few moments before you got up and started clearing the table, coming back to pick the cans but Yunho caught your wrist, folding your sleeve up to examine your scar that was still healing from all the scratching you had done before Yunho had bandaged it for you two days ago.

“This better be healed by the end of the week,” he muttered, tracing the skin near the scar from the elbow all the way down.

“This will heal on its own,” you said. “But how do we heal the scars of our heart, Yunho?”

“I wouldn’t know that,” he barely whispered and it was the most broken you had heard him, or anyone, sound. Your heart ached deeply and with your free, now trembling hand, you touched the side of his face lightly as if to tell him that you didn’t either. That you understood it all too well. He kept staring up at you, his grip on your wrist loosening and you brought that hand up as well as you held his face, taking your time as you caressed the strands of his hair away from his face. You were positive your loud heart could be heard for miles but you didn’t care, not at that moment.

When you were done shifting some of his hair away from his forehead, you leaned down and kissed his forehead, the first time you had kissed someone in years, the first kiss of affection after the tragic event that took your family’s life. Yunho sighed deeply and when you drew back, you rested your forehead on the top of his head for a moment.

“I know something is eating you up and making you do things you do not want to, but,” you drew back, locking eyes with him. “I want you to know that I’m with you, beside you, wherever you go from here. You’re not alone, Yunho. Don’t lose yourself. You can get through this and I’m here for you whenever you need me, understand?”

There was wonder in his eyes. Wonder and an incredible sadness. He nodded slowly and you smiled slightly, patting his cheek before turning away and picking the cans up, going to throw them in the trash can. Yunho got up, straightening his clothes.

“I- I should get back now.”

You raised a brow at the stutter and noticed his flushed cheeks and ears. “Sure. See you tomorrow.”

Yunho nodded, unmoving for a good few moments before he awkwardly turned to go and almost reached the door when he turned again.

“I might be asking too much but can I have a pack of your gummy bears? I feel like I’ll need them tonight.”

The laugh that left you came from somewhere so deeply buried that even Yunho couldn’t help but join, smiling widely at the sound that filled the room. You nodded and brought him a packet, still recovering.

“You can stop now, you know,” he said, embarrassed.

“I just,” you sighed, chuckling again. “It was so out of the blue, it caught me off guard. I’m sorry.”

“You don’t look sorry, Aurora,” he countered and you laughed a bit harder, putting a hand over your mouth as you waved at him to leave already. He thanked you before leaving, saying he wouldn’t want a madman on his team and you went to your room, your laugh fading with each passing moment until it turned into an unknown feeling so overwhelming that you sat down on the floor, burying your head between your arms and crying silent tears.

—-----------------------

Something between you and Yunho had shifted ever since that night.

You were still Mr. Jeong and Miss Han during work hours, and he was still the same strict boss of your team, however, he had a hint of affection in his eyes whenever he looked at you. Maybe it was from the shared experience from that mission. Maybe it was the way you now knew you had secrets that you kept from each other, only allowing the other to know there was, in fact, something. Maybe it was something about that night when you shared a moment of vulnerability.

You didn’t know what exactly it was, but it was messing you up and that was not good. You remind yourself every night that you are a Crescent. You answer to the Captain. You’re on a mission, and your goal is to uncover what’s going on in the Medical Research Department through any means necessary.

Involving yourself with Yunho is only a risk, and yet… you couldn’t help but be selfish. You could justify it as a means to get to Medical Research as much as you wanted, but you knew deep down that there was another factor and you could not dismiss it. It didn’t matter, you supposed, as long as nothing was done about it, but Yunho’s words rang in your ears:

“But I’m human too.”

Those words tangled around you like a spider’s web that you couldn’t shake off. They haunted you at night when you tried to sleep. And they were following you like a shadow right now, on your way to meet Seonghwa in the darkest hour of the night, this time in the Cryptography Department’s cafeteria where you could always come up with the excuse of ‘missing the food’ if someone spotted you.

You sat at the far end of the room, waiting for Seonghwa to come as you opened a pack of gummy bears, already plagued by the memory of Yunho- you seemed to be associating a lot with him these days. Seonghwa entered, silent as a pin and settled across from you.

“I hope you’ve been doing well,” he asked.

“Thriving, really,” you muttered and he raised a brow at that attitude. You cleared your throat.

“All well at home?” You dared to ask.

“Seems so,” he was chewing gum rather loudly. “All well at yours?”

“Seems so.”

“How long till you can get to your goal?”

“If you don’t push some strings, maybe a while,” you thought out loud.

“We don’t have the luxury of time anymore, Aurora.”

You paused. Something had happened. “Then push some strings.”

He glared at you for a few moments before sighing. “Prepare yourself. You’ll be meeting your mentor soon.”

“Got it,” you got up, ready to leave.

“And Aurora?” He called.

“Yeah?”

“Keep your distance from the enemy, will you?”

For a moment, you wanted to scratch at his face and ask him who, exactly, was the enemy here. It was the same in Utopia, the same here- the higher-ups not caring for the lives lost as long as they could get something out of it. And what were they doing to contribute to the war other than add more fuel to the flame? You were starting to question who exactly you were working for. Of course, you were ultimately doing this for Utopia, but you wanted to gut the people who sent you here too. Not the Captain, no- he only trained you. The ones who controlled him, and the ones who controlled them.

The Captain- he only dared to question them once, and you remember seeing him at his lowest then when they took away something precious from him. You didn’t know what- you didn’t need to either. You could see it- everyone could. And it was the same here, with Yunho. He was just a puppet in this horrible, horrible game.

“I am,” you practically spat, knowing he must have spotted you hanging around with Yunho casually. “And you remember who the enemy is, will you?”

With that, you left the department, feeling like you were being choked and when you entered your department you paused-

Was someone following you?

You turned but there wasn’t a soul in sight. You didn’t dismiss it as just a feeling though. You could never be too careful around here.

Someone had seen you come from the Cryptography Department, which meant you were being watched. You scoffed to yourself as you went inside your room and resisted the urge to peek out of your window.

No more meetings with Seonghwa. You were on your own now.

—-------------------------

Things were getting tense at the department, to put it simply.

You were starting to wonder if it was simply because of the information you and Yunho had received that day which was somehow important enough to shift the power balance of the war, or if it was because Yunho had dared to question the higher-ups on their lack of regard for the sacrifices in this war.

You were positive it was the latter- especially with the way Yunho was starting to look so weary. Your seniors were also being harsher on your team, going as far as to cut down on your break hours. Yunho kept looking apologetic which made your suspicions stronger. Nothing seemed to cheer him up anymore.

You were staring at him from across the room, ignoring the pile of documents in front of you as you binged on your usual choice of snack, wondering if you should go ahead and ask just what was going on when a knock sounded and Dr. Choi entered, looking grim.

“Prepare for a group mission- we have to retrieve a person now, so make sure you gear up properly- 2 of you on the field while 3 of you stay back and monitor.”

Yunho looked as confused as the rest and when he got up to ask, Dr. Choi raised her hand. “I just got notified moments ago. Apparently they’re not pleased with what happened on your last mission, though I hardly believe that’s the reason. Just… get it over with and then we’ll speak.”

“Not pleased with what happened on our last mission,” Yunho repeated with a scoff. “All we did was follow orders and stick to protocol.”

You could see the slightest hint of pity in the doctor’s eyes before she sighed. “I know. I’m only obeying orders here too. You’ll be briefed on your way there. You have 20 minutes.”

With that, Dr. Choi exited and Yunho met your eyes. You pursed your lips, shrugging. It seemed like you had no choice. Stuffing the unfinished gummy bears in your pocket, you stood and went to him.

“You and me on the field. Who else are we taking?”

Yunho hesitated for a moment. “I’d rather you stick back as the monitor this time.”

You slumped, bored. “You know I can fight, Sir. Come on, make a decision.”

“I-” he hesitated again and your heart ached as he looked down. You wished you could ask him what the matter was. “I don’t want to see any of you get hurt if things go south.”

“Dr. Choi said two on the field, Yunho, in case you were thinking of going alone this time.”

Yunho raised a brow at the way you called his name and how you knew exactly what he was thinking. He gave in, nodding. “Fine, but you only cover me, okay? No offence.”

“Can’t promise, but okay,” you shrugged and he shook his head, getting up and calling Hani, Jongho and Chris- his most skilled. “You remember the drill, right?”

“Definitely,” Jongho grinned and Yunho seemed to relax a bit after seeing his teammates in better spirits than himself. He set the timer and all of you disappeared in the locker room, getting dressed in the uniform with bulletproof vests underneath. You checked your guns and were about to leave when a knock sounded on the door. You opened it expecting Hani but were surprised to see Yunho instead.

“Done?” He asked and you nodded. “Can I come inside?”

Your heart sank and you gave him some space to enter in the relatively tiny room. Yunho wasted no time, digging into his pocket and producing a bunch of bullets and placing them in your palm. “This could get me fired or worse, but I need you to take these in case things don’t look good. Hide them on yourself.”

You raised a brow, counting them- 5. “This isn’t official,” you said and he nodded. “And what makes you think I won’t snitch right now?”

The way Yunho simply smiled- almost smirked- told you that there was a reason he needed you on his team. “You can go ahead and do that if you want to.”

Something unspoken passed between you two as you stared at each other and you finally hid the bullets in your inside pocket, making him roll his eyes in amusement before he left. For extra measure, you stocked more on the daggers before following him outside.

You learned on your way that one of the doctors from Medical Research had gone missing a few days ago and was reported to have been sighted in the west in a cabin near the enemy lines. You suspected it was the Crescents again, and to confirm your suspicions you spotted Seonghwa on your way out who saluted mockingly when he met your eyes. You had not expected it to be this soon after your previous mission and you wondered if something had truly gone wrong this time.

During the half an hour drive after which you were to travel on foot, Hani set up the radios and Jongho and Chris prepared to defend the rest in case they were attacked. This time, there were no escorts, no military cars, no soldiers- nothing that would alert the enemy. After reaching the end of the road, you and Yunho stepped out and Hani checked your equipment once again.

“If I lose your signal, I’ll assume you’re in trouble and wait exactly 2 minutes before I send one of them to inspect,” Hani said and Yunho nodded in approval. “If you lose our signal, you should proceed with the mission and come back when you’re done- if we’re under attack, you’ll know- I’ll fire a signal. In that case…”

“In that case, we’ll abort the mission,” Yunho said and Hani shook her head.

“Dr. Choi specifically asked us to retrieve the doctor at all costs. You do know what they mean by that, don’t you?”

“I don’t care what she said,” Yunho countered. “I don’t think we can make it back if you all are under attack anyway.”

Hani pursed her lips, looking at you for help. “Knock some sense into him, will you, Aurora?”

You shrugged. “If you’re under attack, I can come and help. You, Sir, can carry on with your mission- or we could switch these roles.”

Yunho sighed in disbelief. “I can’t believe I’m the one being reminded of protocol.”

Hani grinned. “We all have our times, Yunho. Now get your ass on the field, both of you. I’m starting the clock.”

You whistled at the friendly banter. Yunho checked on his weapons one last time before motioning for you to follow him and you took a moment to run your eyes over the expanse- all dead trees and barren ground. If you squinted, you could see the faint silhouette of the marked border between Utopia and Halaland, with armed officials prowling in the area.

“Aurora?”

Home. So near yet so far away.

“You coming?” Yunho asked and you realised you were still staring in the direction of your homeland. You jogged to him, matching his pace when you fell in step with him, peeking at the map in his hands.

“Are you sure you have a clear head right now, Aurora?” Yunho asked.

“Yeah, sure, I was just… admiring the scenery.”

“Admiring the scenery?” Yunho scoffed, craning his neck to see just what about the scenery was so interesting.

“I was wondering,” you changed the topic. “Why send us to the field to retrieve a doctor? Why not the soldiers?”

“Aren’t we all soldiers, fighting for something?” Yunho mused and you narrowed your eyes at him. “Okay, they usually don’t send the soldiers so the other departments don’t get a whiff of what’s going on in Medical Research.”

“What exactly is going on there?” You asked, finding Yunho with a strange, knowing expression on his face. You gulped. “I’m assuming you know if they sent you?”

“I don’t know either,” he sighed deeply. “I just know there is something. I’ve heard it could help with winning the war. Only the higher-ups know. I’m nobody.”

“Well… that certainly sounds suspicious, but then again, there’s always some secret in every department, I suppose,” you let out a short laugh and he agreed. “So they’re afraid the doctor might snitch? Will they even let him live if we manage to get him back?”

“That is… a very good question. We might be taking him to death’s door if we retrieve him,” he clicked disappointingly. “But we don’t know anything, so we can’t assume and make these decisions. I think the Strategy Department, us, we’re trusted enough to retrieve him. We have the skills, and who would we snitch to anyway? Pretty sure they’d know if there was a spy among us.”

You shrugged and Yunho pointed in the distance, spotting a couple of cabins bordering the town. “That’s our destination. You ready?”

You nodded and walked in silence the rest of the way. When you reached the first cabin, you were about to go around the structure to inspect when Yunho grabbed your wrist.

“You’re only covering, remember?”

“That’s not how this works-”

“That’s an order,” he insisted, looking slightly amused that only confused you further and you rolled your eyes, snatching your wrist away with a pout that he chuckled at before taking the lead.

With guns out, you went around the first cabin and then inside, finding no signs of life. The second cabin was just as empty and you were inside it now, watching the third from the window when you spotted movement.

“Uh, Sir?” You called and he turned around. “I’m spotting movement in that cabin.”

Yunho urged you to follow him, asking you to go around and stand by the window so the target couldn’t escape- if it was indeed the target. You signalled your team about the cabin. Yunho motioned at you that he was going inside and you provided cover as he unlocked the door-

“No-”

You turned at the strangle of a voice that left Yunho who ran towards the man- the target- who had just swallowed something you were assuming must be a pill, and before you could help them or react, you spotted someone else in the next room and pointed your gun at them.

“Drop your weapons, right now-”

You paused when recognition flashed across the man’s face and your heart sank dangerously. Before you could signal one or the other, the man moved his aim from you to Yunho and prepared to shoot.

Maybe it was instinct or something else that possessed you to take the bullet for Yunho, you mused, as you wondered why the person you had once called friend and had trained with- spared you. Out of familiarity? Out of regard?

Burning pain overwhelmed every other sense in your body as the bullet lodged into your arm and Yunho was quick to shoot at the man, missing by an inch but probably grazing his leg given how he seethed before hiding. You clenched your eyes shut and opened them, forcing the cloud of pain away. “Save the target, I got him-”

“No, you’re hurt-”

“I said, save the target.”

Yunho frowned at your tone and you didn’t give him another option as you loaded your gun and started for the room the man had hid himself in- he was at a dead end- this room had no window or other means of exit. You spotted him standing in the corner, gun aimed at you.

“It’s been years-”

You shot at his leg before he could speak further, earning a howl from him. One glance at Yunho to confirm that you got this, you moved towards the man and pressed the muzzle against his forehead.

“What are you doing here? What did you do to the doctor?”

“I was saving him,” he spat on your boot and you clenched your jaw. “You know that.”

You glanced behind and got closer. “Did the Captain send you?”

The man scoffed. “And what if he did? Why are you here?”

“He got me here, in case you forgot,” you seethed. “And he got you in this mess. Remember that.”

“What are you gonna do, huh? Kill your old-”

You heard the familiar footsteps of Yunho and with your eyes closed shut as if that could undo everything you were about to do, you shot your old friend, his body going limp and falling with a thud against the wall. You finally opened your eyes, bending down to shut his eyes with trembling hands.

The footsteps grew closer and you felt a pair of hands on your shoulders. You didn’t care at that moment. You turned to him and said, “Call the team, please. I’ll stay here.”

Yunho nodded, giving you space and leaving the room. With glazed eyes, you placed a hand on your old friend’s cheek, noticing a silver glint around his neck and you dug out what was a necklace with his code name carved on it- KB. You smiled at that, recalling when he had showed you the necklace a few years ago, very proud of it. You searched his pockets but found nothing significant so you just slumped next to him, ignoring the pain in your arm until Yunho came again, having alerted the team.

With his dagger, he cut a piece of his shirt and tied it around your arm where you were still bleeding out. You only stared into the distance, your ears ringing with the sound of the gunshots. When he was done, he patted your arm again.

“Come on, they’re here.”

With a deep sigh, you got up and exited the room, noticing the doctor with foam around his mouth. “Cyanide pill?”

“Seems so,” he said. “I’ll tell you the details later, okay? You should get treated first.”

“Just tell me this was not a waste,” you turned to him, lips quivering. “Tell me all of this was not a waste.”

Pain flashed across his eyes but he nodded. “It was not, trust me. I cannot tell you right now,” he glanced behind him at his team approaching them and you understood. “But I have something. And it’s not for the higher-ups to hear. You understand?”

Somehow, the cloud of pain cleared then. You understood. You looked back at the doctor. “Mind if I check something?”

“Go ahead,” he said and you checked his neck for something similar to a chain. Yunho coughed and you looked at him- he patted his pocket in answer. You nodded and proceeded to check the room, taking anything you thought would prove significant while Jongho and Chris packed the bodies and loaded them in the car- protocol. Proof that you were not lying, though you were pretty sure one of them directly answered the higher-ups and it was not Yunho, which meant-

You almost ran outside and looked into the distance, running your eyes across the expanse and it was then you spotted the tiniest movement in the cabin in front of you.

Eyes. They had eyes and ears everywhere. Both the Crescents and Halaland’s own spies. The question though, was…

Just who had watched everything that had just happened?

—------------------------

You had a few scenarios of how you could get into the Medical Department- either infiltrate with your ‘spy skills’ and risk getting caught, or have Seonghwa pull some strings so you could go for something like an ‘inspection’, or the personal favourite- attack.

However, you never thought you’d get access simply because you got shot during a mission.

It was surprising because every department did have their own little emergency room with the basic first aid stuff. It was probably because you had to report, and what place better to report the death of the doctor than the very department he worked in?

“Let her get treated first,” Yunho insisted, “And then we’ll report.”

“We don’t have time to spare, Mr… Jeong, is it?” The middle-aged man with an arrogant look that had to be his staple shrugged. “Besides, it looks like a simple gunshot wound.”

You could feel that Yunho was mentally and physically reaching his limit as he tried to reason with who you recognised was the supervisor of the Medical Research Department- both the restricted and the secret one, the restricted being his cover for the public. You cleared your throat, wanting to get this over with. “I think we can report first- I can hold on for a while-”

“No,” Yunho said with a tone of finality and glared at you first before glaring at the supervisor. “My partner will be treated first and foremost. You, of all people, Dr. Kim, should understand that.”

Dr. Kim groaned before ordering the staff to escort you to the treatment room. You got stitched up after being administered painkillers and you had to stuff a few gummy bears in your mouth for the instant sugar rush or else you were positive you would have fainted. You were just being administered another IV when you heard a very familiar voice.

“I got this from here, thank you.”

You watched the nurses leave and a familiar blonde come closer, checking on your IV. You almost gasped and he stifled his smile as he checked your vitals.

“Not how I expected to see you but oh well,” he whispered and you grinned.

“Not how I planned to get here either,” you said. “It’s so good to see you, Yeosang.”

“Likewise, Aurora,” he smiled before glancing around. “Tell me what happened.”

You briefed him as quickly as you could, handing him the necklace that belonged to KB. He nodded grimly and when you told him about spotting someone who must have been watching you, he nodded in confirmation.

“It’s been a while since Yunho fell out of their good graces. I bet they’re making sure he doesn’t make more mistakes.”

“What did he do?” You asked.

“He tried digging into the secrets of the Research Department after the Utopians were expelled from this centre,” he revealed and you were genuinely impressed and confused. “He had many Utopian friends and some of them disappeared without a trace.”

“Are they messing him up on purpose?” You dared to ask. “First the attack on our previous mission, and now this…”

“That’s not how they mess you up,” Yeosang tsk-ed. “That’s just misfortune. Anyways, your report better match Yunho’s or you’ll be the one who might become their target. And Aurora?”

“Yeah?”

“Stay safe. Remember your motive. Don’t trust the enemy. And… we don’t have much time. You barely have a week before we sign Utopia for a loss it will never recover from.”

Your heart sank yet again and you nodded furiously, understanding the gravity of the situation now that you heard it from someone who worked in the secret lab himself. He was about to leave when you called him and mouthed ‘stay safe’.

Thankfully, Yunho gave his report in front of your team and all you had to do was follow up with your story, omitting the part where you knew the identity of the man you killed. After signing a few documents, you were allowed to leave and Yunho said he had someone to meet, asking Hani to make sure you go right to your room and rest.

Hani did just that, going as far as to help you take off your clothes so you could wash up while she cooked you some ramen, commenting on the lack of your healthy food choices. You smiled- she was such a mother not just to you but to everyone in your team. She did leave when dinner was ready and you had time to sort your thoughts out, enough time to recall what happened today.

You took a bullet for the enemy.

Could you call Yunho ‘the enemy’? Yunho, the person who cared with all his heart, the person who did serve the enemy, the one who would have taken a bullet for you too just because that is who he was. And Yeosang’s revelations had only confused you further about him- you should have just asked him if Yunho was the enemy.

But perhaps, he was just as confused as you were. Yunho had dared to dig into something so big. What stopped him? You understood that he was brilliant and after losing so many skilled Utopians, they couldn’t afford losing their own. But… what, exactly, made him stop? What did they have over him that was eating him alive because he could do nothing about it? The fact that these unsuccessful missions were simply misfortune (though one was staged) meant that they had something else over Yunho.

What could it be? A secret? Blackmail? Family?

You shut your eyes as you tried recalling his file that you had memorised, just like every other file on the employees of this department-

A knock sounded and you opened your eyes, wondering if your ears were still ringing. But when another knock sounded, this time louder, you got up and hesitantly opened the door-

To reveal Yunho.

“You look like a mess… Sir,” you scanned him- messy hair, buttons undone, uniform torn from where he had cut it earlier for you, smudges of dirt and possibly blood on his exposed skin. “What brings you here?”

“Just wanted to make sure Hani didn’t kill you on her way here,” he scoffed. “Can I… come in?”

You nodded and he stepped in, awkwardly glancing around and you urged him to take a seat. You offered him dinner but he refused and you wondered if you could insist but handed him a chocolate bar instead and he accepted it, asking you just what happened during the mission.

“I found these,” you put your hand under the sofa and extracted a few pages. “Not sure what they mean but they might make sense to you.”

Yunho finished eating and examined the papers. “Medical terms I’m not quite familiar with. What do you reckon they say?”

“I don’t know, all these terms seem foreign to me,” you admitted- it wasn’t the entire truth. “You have someone who could translate it for us?”

“I’ll think about it. Shall I take these then?”

“Go ahead,” you said and he folded them neatly before putting them in his pocket. “Did the doctor say something before he… died?”

Yunho sighed deeply, rubbing his face. “I asked him why he gave up on his life at the sight of me. It’s my uniform- he recognised it. He only said that he did not want to go back and that he would prefer death.”

“‘Prefer death’,” you repeated. “That’s… something must have happened?”

“Yeah, I don’t know anymore,” Yunho slumped back. “I’m not sure I can investigate either.”

“Why?” You dared ask.

Yunho looked at you. “Do you have something to lose, Aurora?” You shook your head and he smiled. “Then you are very lucky.”

“What will you lose?” Your voice was almost a whisper and he looked down.

“Four years ago when we declared war on Utopia,” he began, “I lost a lot of friends. Some moved. Some went missing. When I tried tracing them, I always found myself at the Medical Research Department. I asked myself- why would someone missing be there when they didn’t have any relationship with the Medical Department whatsoever?”

“Oh, goodness,” you sighed and he nodded.

“I still don’t know why exactly- what exactly is going down there. I don’t know who to trust. When they realised I was digging in, they drafted my brother into the army so they could hold that over me. And after the previous mission, they threatened to place him within the enemy lines, where the war and the bloodshed is the thickest. I suppose they’ll do that now.”

“That’s… inhumane,” you breathed. No matter if Yunho was the enemy, that was still inhumane- to hold family against you. “They’re controlling you.”

“They’re controlling everyone here,” Yunho scoffed. “You cannot trust anyone.”

You raised a brow and he looked at you as if having realised just what he said. He locked eyes with you until you asked the inevitable.

“Do you trust me?”

“I don’t know, Aurora,” his voice was low and he shifted towards you. “You clearly have secrets you keep to yourself. I don’t know why I’m here- maybe I’ve doomed myself tonight.”

His eyes were expectant and they tugged at your heart with their warmth and vulnerability and… trust. Trust without knowing who exactly you were.

And you realised how deeply done you were for him when you found yourself saying, “I trust you. With all of my heart.”

Yunho blinked as if he couldn’t believe what he had just heard. Stomach in knots, you leaned forward a bit as you locked eyes with him. “I trust your judgement. I trust your motives, and I wish I could share your burden because I do not like to see you like this. I wish I could be your strength… if you’d allow me to. And I have nothing to lose anyway. I could do this for you-”

Perhaps you had signed yourself for your doom, you wondered, as Yunho grabbed you by the wrist and pulled you, bringing you in for a kiss so urgent as if you were on stolen time. Stomach in pleasurable knots, you leaned forward into the kiss, running your hands through his hair and pushing them away as you kissed him better, tasting the longing and pain in the way his hands cupped your face so delicately, in the way they later traced the outlines of your body-

And made you hiss in pain when they accidentally touched the bandaged spot on your arm. Yunho immediately drew back with concern on his face and you laughed a little when he examined it.

“I’m okay, just… it took me more by surprise, I guess.”

Yunho licked his lips, eyes falling to yours as he caught his breath. He forced himself to look at you. “You shouldn’t have taken the bullet for me, Aurora. Do you know how much it pains me?”

“I know you would have done the same,” you said and he looked away as if he did not want to believe that. “I’m fine. I know what I was doing.”

“I’m sorry-”

“No,” you cupped his face this time, caressing it lovingly- you couldn’t bear the look in his eyes. “I would do that for you again,” you pecked his lips. “And again,” you kissed his cheek, trailing your lips up the side to plant another kiss on his temple. “And again,” you joined your forehead with his, his large hands going to hold your waist, making you feel so very safe as he buried his face in the crook of your neck, out of breath. You let him have his moment, caressing his head.

“What are we going to do, Aurora?”

“We’ll figure it out,” you kissed his head and he looked up at you. “I’ll make sure those bastards pay for what they did to you, you hear me? That’s a promise, Yunho. And I keep my promises.”

You sealed that promise with a kiss, so slow and sensual this time that it had you both wanting more. You unbuttoned Yunho’s uniform and tossed it on the floor, leaving him in a half-sleeve fitted shirt- oh, how beautiful he was. You traced his shoulders down to his arms and he snaked his hands up your waist, the sensation of his cold hands over your bare skin making you squirm a little which made him laugh, and then he was pulling you in for another kiss, this time as heated as it could be, tongues colliding and bodies rocking against each other in a rhythm that made you one.

You kissed each other for the longest time, affirmations and promises exchanged and then you lay in his arms, tired. You traced the multiple scars on his bare upper body, limbs tangled and breaths mingling as he fell asleep and you stifled in your tears, because-

Because this was love, in its pure and raw form. It took you so long to get here but you wouldn’t want to be anywhere else, with anyone else. You wondered if all that happened was so that you could be right here, in this moment, feeling so complete-

But still, with the guilt of the lies you had said, with the secrets you kept. He was going to find out, and he would hate you, perhaps with all of his heart. But…

You’d keep your promise.

You were going to make Halaland pay for not only what they did to your homeland but what they did to their own. How they broke their own.

You chanted it to yourself along with the beat of Yunho’s heart.

—-------------------

Yunho was right about his brother being drafted to the enemy lines this time. He hated that he was right, but he could do nothing about it-

Or so he thought, because something had indefinitely snapped inside of you. Your hatred for Halaland was not only because of the fact that they took away your home and family, but because they took away the families of the ones who laid their lives for the cause. What for, you wondered? Halaland couldn’t even protect its own. So now, you were hell-bent on doing something about it.

Each day, you pretended to be serving Halaland with utmost sincerity, urging Yunho to put on the same act. He tried his best and you prayed that it would mislead the superiors and whoever was watching. Every other night, you and Yunho gathered in either of your rooms to discuss whatever you found during the day- stealing from the database (Yunho was quite skilled) or picking information spontaneously (your forte). You’d match your findings but-

Whatever was going on in Medical Research was very, very serious if it was kept this confidential. You always found yourselves at a dead end- anyone you could contact was either still an employee or wiped off the map without a trace.

So each night, you held Yunho in your arms and assured him that you would make it right for him. You caressed his face and kissed his head in promise, and each night he would ask you why you were doing this for him, just like he asked you tonight.

“Call me ungrateful but I don’t understand why you’re doing this for me, Aurora,” he was tracing the outlines of your face with one finger while you rested in his lap with a thick bundle of files you had been going through since the evening- the information of all the Utopian employees in the Medical Department. “I’d really like to know what the other reason is. You can’t simply be doing this for me.”

“What do you think it is?” You asked absently, reading the data of the person Yunho had pointed out earlier- Song Mingi. One of his oldest friends here who used to oversee some business in Medical Research before he went missing without a trace. The one, Yunho had told you, who made him embark on this journey.

“I don’t know,” Yunho’s arm was a comfortable weight around you and his lips on the bare skin of your neck were welcome. “I’m not sure I want to find out.”

“You’re pretty insistent for someone who doesn’t want to find out,” you mumbled, frowning as you read Song’s supervisor’s name- Dr. Kim- the same doctor who took your reports in your previous missions. “Is it strange that every missing person is somehow connected to Dr. Kim of Research?”

Yunho stopped nuzzling into your neck to look at you and think. “He is the supervisor.”

“That file over there,” you pointed at a file on the floor. “It said that Dr. Kim became the supervisor after every Utopian was expelled. A promotion at such a sensitive time is rather strange, don’t you think, given how ‘saddened’ you all must have been having lost a valuable ally in the war.”

Yunho shifted under you, making you face him, limbs still tangled. “You’re saying the feud must have begun due to something that happened in Medical Research, right?”

“It’s a possibility we should consider,” you planted the seed, knowing very well that it was a fact. “The timing of it all is strange. Do you think we can have someone confirm this fact? Or at least give us a hint?”

“I could ask Dr. Kang, but I’m not sure where his loyalty stands now,” he faltered.

“I mean… if they still haven’t erased him off the map, probably with Halaland?” You said and Yunho chuckled.

“Not that part. We’re all answering to someone. I don’t know if he’s answering to the right person.”

“I think we can trust him,” you offered. “When he trained me, he always insisted I put my ‘moral values’ before any order, no matter who it came from. It always stuck with me.”

“I can see that,” Yunho smiled, caressing the nape of your neck. “It’s probably why I’m here too. You don’t give a shit about rules, do you?”

You shrugged and smiled when he looked a little proud. “I could say the same for you. Do you know how dangerous it is to dig into information again? Haven’t you learned anything from the last time you did it?”

“I can’t let you carry this burden alone, can I?” He asked and you pouted because you’ve had this conversation with him just about a dozen times and he always insisted he do the dirty work and risk getting caught even when he was the one who had something to lose now. Yunho pecked at your pouted lips. “I want you to come with me when I meet Dr. Kang. He could be of help, and if he’s not…”

“If he’s not, all you have to do is say the word and he won’t breathe any part of it to anyone else,” you promised, heart dipping with the lie and he chuckled at your confidence before he kissed you.

His kisses, you were finding, could be soft like feathers when he wanted them to be. And right now, that was it. And these moments always put some hesitancy when you tried returning the sentiments because with each night you spent together like this, you were certain you could never bear being apart from him, never bear if he ever looked at you with hatred in his eyes- when he would eventually find out the truth.

Yunho’s hand cupped your face and tilted it, his hold tighter near your neck. You kissed back, but-

“Why do I always feel like something is holding you back when you’re with me, Aurora?”

You bit your lips as you drew away, finding it incredibly hard to open your eyes and face him but you did.

“The only reason I hold back,” you told him, shifting in his lap so you could face him, “is because I am so, so afraid of losing you, Yunho. I’m so afraid that you’ll hate me one day.”

“I could never hate you,” his grip on your waist tightened and you looked down, not wanting him to see how vulnerable you were right now. If he pushed the right button, you would spill everything-

“Look at me, Aurora.”

You did and you couldn’t take the look in his eyes- you physically couldn’t, not when you wanted to tell him so much and risk wasting everything you’d built so far, so you kissed his lips with an urgency that told him to shut up for now and just kiss you back and make you feel good, and oh, did he return the sentiment.

“Don’t look at me like that again if you don’t want me to break,” you whispered in his ear.

“What about me, huh?” He stifled a pleasured groan when you rolled your hips on his lap. “Do you want to watch me break?”

You drew away and smiled and Yunho thought it was the most sadistic smile he had ever seen on anyone and it turned him on so bad. He picked you up effortlessly as he stood, making you scream a little and wrap your arms around his neck so you wouldn’t fall, laughing into his shoulder as he placed you on the table, hands on your thighs spreading them apart so he could fit between them as he looked down at you.

“You’re gonna be the death of me,” he said and then he was bringing you flush to his body and kissing you, rolling his hips along yours as you wrapped your legs around him. He wasted no time turning the kiss as heated and frantic as the movements of your body, his hands in your hair and one still on your thigh, thumb playing with the waistband of your shorts. You were lazily running your hands along his upper body and it was driving him crazy-

“Isn’t it about time we take it to bed?” You offered, looking at the clock. “It’s way past your bedtime, Yunho.”

He didn’t miss the suggestive glance and with another sensual kiss where he pulled at your lip, sending butterflies in your stomach, he let his fingers graze dangerously close to the skin between your thighs.

“Not before I have a taste of you right here.”

You shut your eyes in pleasure as warmth coursed through you at those words and you became lost in the bliss as he started trailing his lips down your body.

Taking it to bed could definitely wait.

—-----------------------

It took you both a few days to perfect the plan to meet Dr. Kang, and you were now wondering if Yunho was turning into you as he started setting the stage so the act could play out effortlessly, so that someone would come and tell him to go to Medical Research for some dealings or strategic planning. And you wondered why Yunho hadn’t done it earlier- he was so good at it that you were a little scared and had started to wonder if he wasn’t who he pretended to be.

Yunho laughed when you asked him that during your break when you two were alone in the cafeteria. “I obviously needed a partner, right?”

You shrugged, not buying it. “You’re doing just fine by yourself. I haven’t done anything.”

“You, Aurora, pointed me in the right direction,” he told you and you looked at him. “I’m simply preparing a ride so we can go there.”

And the ride was arranged in the matter of a few days when Dr. Choi herself assigned you and Yunho, the most skilled strategists in the department, to help sketch plans for the future course of the war and Halaland’s stance. Yunho asked Dr. Choi why they were doing the planning in the Medical Department- was it to plan the placement of medical camps? Dr. Choi answered that she believed so, but even she sounded unconvinced. So, together with Yunho, you were finally going to the Medical Research Department officially.

What you hadn’t expected was to be escorted to a storage room at the end of the Medical Research section and to be confronted by the same Dr. Kim who was pretty much in your blacklist now.

“Your seniors swear you’re the smartest of the bunch so I’m going to trust them and have you sign this non-disclosure agreement,” he began, keeping it simple. You and Yunho met eyes in confusion. “I’ll tell you the details after you have signed.”

When Yunho didn’t move, Dr. Kim scoffed. “Your old friend Kang swears you’re the best strategists, both of you, so I took his word for it. Want me to call him?”

“No, I think we’re good,” Yunho said. “I just need to look at the clauses before I sign. Can I have a moment?”

“Sure,” Dr. Kim relaxed back in his seat and Yunho tapped at your arm in question. You nodded- if Yeosang had really been the one who pulled the strings, you weren’t going to complain. In fact, even if he wasn’t, this was your chance to see just what was cooking here. Yunho seemed to understand that and you both read through the terms and signed.

“Very well,” Dr. Kim got up, taking the documents. “You’re being led to Level 0 of Medical Research- the lab only the selected few know about.”

Your heart sank in nervousness- this was it. Dr. Kim led you to the stairs and continued. “We’ve recently made a breakthrough and we think it’s about time that we get some input from the strategists. The war could end within days now, do you understand?”

Yunho looked as surprised as you had expected. Dr. Kim unlocked the door and immediately, you were hit with the stench of strong chemicals and cleaning alcohol. Dr. Kim asked you two to wait while he went inside a lab and you turned to Yunho.

“Listen to me- no matter what you see today, you do not react, understand?” You said, realising fully well that you were risking your identity. “Even if you see a familiar face or something inhumane, you play along and make the decisions they would like to hear. You cannot play the hero right now, okay?”

Yunho looked genuinely confused now but he understood that there was a high chance something immoral was going on here. “I’ll try.”

“You will, for your brother,” you whispered. “And I will too. For you.”

He squeezed your hand in assurance and before he could say anything else, Dr. Kim was back. “Follow me.”

—--------------------------

You two had just gotten back to your room from Level 0 of Medical Research, and you were staring at the walls as you tried to make sense of the horrors you had seen.

You were pretty sure it was as much of a blur to Yunho as it was for you- if you tried replaying it in your head, you recalled going inside and Dr. Kim explaining the background of how they got here, but then he led you inside and showed you-

A human experiment.

A man not much older than you, tied to the bed with steel chains as if he could break them apart. What was more surprising was that Dr. Kim confirmed he very well could. He was in a confined space and you watched through the glass.

“This seems to be our first successful prototype. Since a decade, we have been playing with the idea of a specialised human army- better strength, better skills. Quicker reflexes and better impulses. Utopia was our ally back then, and we usually discussed it as a fantasy until one of our doctors made a breakthrough in his research and created a drug he thought could do something similar.”

“So Utopia is doing the same as us?” You had asked casually, putting a hand on Yunho’s back and caressing once to assure him you were playing along.

“The whole reason Utopia and Halaland fell apart was disagreement on this- they have better morals, I’ll give them that,” Dr. Kim chuckled loudly and Yunho seemed visibly uncomfortable but passed a weak smile. “They changed sides. We continued to test our drugs, but we fell back- most of our skilled doctors had been Utopian. We lost many, hence the slow progress.”

“But now- you seem to have succeeded?” Yunho said.

“We’ve almost finished the testing period with this one,” he motioned at the man who seemed to be sleeping right now, looking very normal. “If the trial is successful, we’ll use the drug for others.”

“If you don’t mind me asking,” Yunho cleared his throat. “Where or who exactly are the others?”

Everything after that was a blur- Dr. Kim had revealed that there were only a few volunteers for this programme right now but they had a few Utopian employees and soldiers they had detained over the past few years. He had asked for strategic advice and you had set the trap for him- if, in case you lost the mission to expose them and they went ahead with their human army, you wanted them at the western front first- you knew Utopia would have something up their sleeve too- but Utopia would never stoop so low.

Yunho had done his best to play along. You two spent a few hours in that department, even met Dr. Kang who Dr. Kim claimed was one of the researchers for this programme and when you finally got to leave, Yunho followed you to your room.

You turned to him, still not believing what you had seen. “Is this real?”

“I don’t know anymore,” Yunho took a deep breath, hiding his face in his hands. “I’m surprised I didn’t throw up at Dr. Kim’s feet.”

“Glad you didn’t,” you muttered. “What are we going to do, Yunho?”

“I honestly don’t know anymore, Aurora. I now know why my brother is fighting at the enemy lines- so I have no choice but to participate in this… massacre. Massacre of lives is what this is, Aurora. It disgusts me how they’re handling humans there- aren’t they humans themselves?”

“They’re not,” you almost whispered.

“I don’t know how many unfortunate souls have been wasted because the trial failed. That drug is basically a human-control drug. It could cause so much destruction in the war. What’s the point of winning now, though?” He scoffed, shaking his head. “I understand now, why the doctor we went to retrieve didn’t want to go back- death is a better option than becoming a human lab rat.”

“Can’t we expose them?” You wondered out loud. “I don’t know- even to the enemy?” You looked at Yunho but the guarded look in his eyes- he had to think of his brother too. “I could do that, Yunho. I have nothing to lose- you can play along while I expose them and end this inhumanity-”

“You won’t do it alone,” Yunho shook his head furiously. “I won’t let you do it alone.”

“You have your brother, Yunho-”

“And you,” he turned to you and you almost cried, overwhelmed. “I can’t risk losing you too.”

“And I can’t risk losing you, either, please,” you joined your hands and rested your forehead against them. “Please let me do it alone.”

“What are you not telling me, Aurora?”

You looked at him, finding a knowing look in his eyes. You shook your head and he sighed. “You still can’t tell me?”

“Not yet,” you finally muttered and he nodded, planting a kiss on your forehead and you let the tears fall, realising this might be the last moment Yunho would look at you with such love.

“Why do you cry, love?”

You only hid your face in his lap and he held you as you cried silent tears, caressing your head through it all. When you stopped, he made you look at him as he wiped your face.

“I don’t know why you don’t believe me, I don’t know what you’ve done or at this point, who you are, but I know you’re not as bad as you make yourself to be,” he had the gentlest smile on his face as he ran a thumb over your lips, locking eyes with you. “And I could never hate you, because you’ve saved me so many times now. You don’t even know how.”

“I’m sorry,” you almost whispered and he shook his head, leaning in to kiss you deeply and you responded eagerly. When he broke back, he joined his forehead with yours.

“No matter where we go from here, I love you, Aurora. That’s the reason why I won’t let you do this alone, and I would hate it if you put yourself in a situation where you get hurt and I lose you forever, do you understand?”

You smiled at that, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him good and tight. “And I love you, Yunho. That is why I’ll still insist that I have to do it alone- because I can’t bear to lose more people.”

“This argument will never end at this rate,” Yunho laughed as he rocked you back and forth. You drew back, pushing his hair away.”

“I know one way it will,” you suggested and he immediately understood, attacking you with an urgent kiss, making you arch into it and soon, he was on top of you on the couch, taking off layer after layer of your clothes, of the mask you wore around him, until you were bare. Until you wished he would call your real name when he kissed every inch of your body and murmured sweet nothings. Until you broke in every way possible, wondering how you could ever recover from this.

You had to do this alone.

—---------------------------

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

When the Captain had said those words, you had wanted to tell him he was wrong. Yes, that was the loneliest period of your life, but even then you had a few people who were with you. You had simply nodded and let him believe his words were wrapping around your heart.

However, now that Yunho held Kang Yeosang at gunpoint and looked at you with absolute hatred in his eyes, you couldn’t help but think back to that moment. You could practically feel the Captain’s hands on your shoulders as he whispered it in your ears-

“You’re always alone. And you always will be.”

Before you knew it, you were pointing a gun at Yunho’s head too and Yeosang stopped struggling in his grasp as he looked at you in surprise.

“We don’t have to do this, Yunho,” you said and even though your tone was harsh, your voice still quivered a bit.

“We really don’t, Aurora,” he said, tightening his hold on Yeosang. “I don’t know who you are anymore or why you’re doing this, but I can’t let you take these people.”

Everything had gone horribly wrong tonight. Seonghwa had provided you with the big plan- a distraction that would give you and him enough time to vacate Level 0 with the people trapped in there. Yeosang and Dr. Seo Yuna- a Halaland native who strongly opposed the idea of human experiments- were on duty tonight so all they had to do was sneak you in and show you the emergency exit. It led to a restricted parking area where Seonghwa would be waiting with an ambulance-

An ambulance because the Medical Department would be set on fire tonight. Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were trained just like the other doctors in Level 0 on the evacuation process in case of an emergency. What the higher-ups wouldn’t expect would be everyone in Level 0 disappearing without a trace. Level 0 and all its data would turn to ashes tonight.

The plan was seamless, however, Yunho’s presence was something you didn’t expect and it caught you off guard when he arrived at the basement. He spotted you transferring his old friend, Song Mingi, on a stretcher and ran towards him, making you freeze momentarily as he examined his state.

“What happened?” Yunho asked you.

“Do you… recognise him?” You were going to play dumb for as long as you could.

“That’s Mingi- my old friend,” he sounded broken as he brushed the hair off Mingi’s face, finding him all ragged and pale. “What are you doing here, Aurora?”

You glanced around- Dr. Kang and Dr. Seo were not present. You turned to Yunho. “You can’t be here- I was assigned to help evacuate the members of Level 0 because of the fire. Nobody assigned you, as far as I know.”

“And who assigned you?” His gaze was hard and you bit your lips, about to make up an answer when you heard footsteps behind you and saw Yeosang appear from the tunnel, look at you both and take out his gun to point at Yunho, who scoffed in disbelief.

“I’m going to have to ask you to leave- you cannot be here,” Yeosang drew closer and for the first time, you couldn’t make a quick decision, only glanced back and forth like a confused child.

“Why is my presence such a big problem here?” Yunho straightened, gazing at both of his friends long and hard. “I’m authorised with access here, just like Aurora, am I not?”

Yeosang glanced at you and your reflexes kicked in- you knew that look. He was going to shoot Yunho. When his hand shifted on the trigger, you immediately grabbed a tray and threw it at Yeosang, making Yunho duck as he shot. Yeosang gaped at you and you ran towards him but he pointed his gun at you, making you raise your hands.

“Please, Yeosang, not him,” you begged. “He can help- just listen to me-”

“The Captain only allowed you to save his brother,” he whispered. “He said nothing about Yunho.”

You were about to protest when Yunho pushed you to the side- you didn’t even hear him coming this time. He was on Yeosang in a second, startling him and wrestling him until he was in his grasp and Yunho had him at gunpoint.

And so here you stood, pointing your gun at him. You caught your breath and shut your eyes when the tears started to sting. When you opened them, you spoke. “You have two choices, Yunho. You can either let me go and meet your brother at the same cabin the doctor died that day, or you can kill me right now and lose everything you love.”

“I’ve already lost everything I love,” his voice was strangled and you shook your head in denial.

“You can save your brother,” you pleaded. “Please.”

“Where are you taking them?” He asked.

“I can’t tell you that,” you shook your head, knowing what it would cost you if you told Yunho everything right now- not only your life but Yunho’s as well.

“Is this who you are, Aurora?” Yunho scoffed. “A true Halaland loyal?”

You didn’t respond though his words felt like a stab. “You have 10 seconds to make a decision.”

The sound of those seconds being ticked off echoed within all of you and at the 9th second when you were about to pull the trigger, Yunho let go of Yeosang and you exhaled in relief, but it died down when his eyes met yours, full of betrayal. Hatred. Confusion. And so, so much anger.

“It’s funny, now that I think about it,” Yunho pushed his hair back. “All those times we interacted. Your sole purpose was to use me to get here, wasn’t it?”

This time, the tears did leave your eyes. Yeosang shook his head and asked Yunho to exit the premises and go through the emergency exit unnoticed if he wanted to save his brother. Yunho passed you a sad smile before he left and you sank down to your knees, fisting the ends of your shirt and screaming your heart out. Yeosang patted your back once before muttering that you had already lost precious time.

You helped transport the members in a daze. When you set fire to the lab, you didn’t feel one ounce of regret. You told yourself you would set a similar fire some day and burn your feelings for Yunho as well.

But tonight? Tonight you would let them consume you and drive you mad. Only tonight.

So when you spotted the Captain in an abandoned building that you were going to use until you could go back to Utopia, the cracks of dawn illuminating the ruins, you didn’t bow like you would have. You ran to him instead and hit his chest with your fists repeatedly, crying and screaming, not caring who witnessed the moment. The Captain made no move to stop you, raising a hand to stop Seonghwa instead who was pulling out his gun. He let you have your moment until you were tired and rested your head against his shoulder, crying your heart out.

“Who broke you, Aurora? Who melted that ice-cold heart of yours?”

“I hate you for doing this to me,” you cried and he tsk-ed. “I won’t forgive you.”

“I told you, Aurora,” he held you by your shoulders and you looked at him- hair styled an odd way- half bleached and half natural. It made him look fiercer than ever. “I told you that you will always be alone in this field. It is your weakness that led you here. You can blame me all you want, but it’s on you.”

“Just tell me it’s over,” you said, feeling drained. “Tell me my job is done.”

“It is,” he nodded. “When we go back to Utopia… you’re a free bird if you choose to be.”

You looked beside you at Seonghwa and Yeosang, shaking your head. “I’m going to head inside first then.”

—----------------------

Yunho didn’t know what he was expecting when he broke into the cabin, but his brother laughing with someone else looking unscathed and free just wasn’t it.

He frowned in confusion. “Gunho?”

Gunho gasped audibly before rushing to hug his brother and Yunho almost cried in relief. Gunho looked at him. “You’re finally here!”

“Were you waiting for me?” Yunho scanned him, making sure he was okay.

“Of course I was,” he patted his arm, drawing back. “Wooyoung here was kind enough to get me- he won’t tell me who he is but apparently he holds the authority to discharge me from the army. I’m free now.”

“No way,” Yunho breathed, looking gratefully at Wooyoung who shook his head.

“I was simply doing my job.”

“Who assigned you?” Yunho dared to ask.

“I think you know that already,” Wooyoung winked, getting up and straightening his army uniform. “I’ll be taking my leave now. My last message for you is ‘don’t go back’. Oh, and I have something else-”

Wooyoung dug in his pocket and produced four bullets, placing them in Yunho’s extended palm. Yunho recognised the bullets- the one he’d given Aurora, but-

“There should be one more?”

“She kept one,” Wooyoung smiled knowingly.

Yunho sighed deeply. “Tell me where to find her- or someone who can give me answers.

Wooyoung considered for a moment- he had seen the way Aurora had nearly broken when she begged him to save someone she knew nothing about except the name. And the fact that this person was here and still looked sceptical…

Wooyoung took out a piece of paper and pencil and scribbled an address. “Seven days from now, you can find us here. I don’t know if Aurora will still be there by that time.”

“What do you mean?” Yunho asked.

“We’re going back home, Yunho,” Wooyoung smiled. “The war is ending soon. There will be no victory, simply a treaty.”

“Home?” Yunho couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Wooyoung simply saluted mockingly before exiting the cabin.

—---------------------

The past week, Yunho had replayed every moment since Aurora came into his life. Every single time he had seen her, had interacted with her or heard about her from someone else.

He realised he had been blind. The answer was so painfully obvious- Aurora wasn’t from Halaland at all. He was pretty sure her name wasn’t Aurora as well.

She was a spy, he knew. And now that he thought about it, she hadn’t really done much to hide it- at least not in front of him. From always staring towards the west, not at the setting sun but towards her homeland, to almost cracking Utopia’s code so easily- he wondered if she was the mastermind behind the code. The way she questioned every move Halaland made, the way she put a distance between them-

Every night, he held the four bullets in his hands and wondered why she kept the fifth one. It made him so, so restless.

And every night, Yunho always ended his train of thoughts with the same question every night-

Did she actually love him, or was all of it to get to Medical Research?

Was he simply a rung on the ladder to get to her goal? Or was he not meant to be part of the equation at all, a mistake on her part?

Yunho didn’t realise how long he simply stood in front of the cottage until someone creeped up behind him, patting his back and scaring him a little. It was Seonghwa- yet another surprise.

Just how many people in the Halazia Research Facility were spies? Were they only Utopians or were they from other nations as well?

“I almost killed you because I didn’t recognise you,” Seonghwa lit a cigarette, offering him one but Yunho declined. “So you’re finally here.”

“What do you mean ‘finally here’?” Yunho asked. “Were you expecting me?”

“We placed bets- don’t tell Aurora,” Seonghwa snickered. “Yeosang owes me 10 now.”

She was still here.

“Where is she?” Yunho gulped.

“Not so quick, mate,” Seonghwa scanned him. “You’ve been travelling quite a bit, haven’t you?”

“Have you been spying on me?” Yunho scoffed.

“Weren’t you looking for a place to keep your brother safe?” Seonghwa simply said. “Have you found one?”

“Not yet,” Yunho admitted.

“You could come with us, you know.”

Yunho considered that. “I don’t know who ‘us’ is. I can’t blindly follow you to god knows where.”

“Well then, I guess you should meet the Captain. He specifically asked me to bring you to him if you came. He’s quite interested in seeing the face of the person who broke his dear Aurora’s heart.”

Yunho raised a brow though his heart sank at his admission. “Where is she, Seonghwa?”

“Out on a mission- she’ll be back by dawn,” Seonghwa urged him to follow him inside and took him to a room where Yunho spotted a man with unique hair standing by the fire. Seonghwa knocked on the door and he turned.

“This is Jeong Yunho.”

“This is him?” the man scoffed as he came forward, a cane in his hand that Yunho wasn’t entirely sure was for mobility purposes. Probably a weapon. “I expected something else- I don’t know. I can’t believe this is the face that melted her frozen heart.”

“And who are you?” Yunho countered, watching Seonghwa take his leave. The man motioned for him to take a seat and Yunho did after a moment of hesitation. The man followed, sitting in front of him.

“They call me the Captain around here. Captain of the Crescents- a group of spies who were born for the sole purpose of taking revenge on Halaland after they betrayed us. Betrayed Utopia.”

Yunho let that sink in. “What revenge?”

“I think you know that already,” the Captain sighed. “Honestly, when I learned that Aurora had told you more than you should have known, considering you don’t have an ounce of Utopian blood in you, I was ready to kill both her and you. But, that brat…” he scoffed in amusement. “She got on her knees for you, Jeong. Do you have any idea what that means?”

Yunho looked blank so he continued. “Aurora is one of the best spies I’ve known in my life. I had to break her to make her bend. But you… what did you do? What sweet things did you mutter to turn my strongest spy into such a hopeless mess? All these years of training her into becoming a cold-hearted thinker and assassin, and she melts because apparently you looked, really looked at her with those eyes of yours.”

Yunho looked down, each word hammering a nail in his head. “If she had told me… I would have joined her. I was never in favour of Halaland’s unethical methods, and after I discovered what was really going on…”

“If she told you, you would have exposed her. She understood that, because she would have done the same. You’re only human, after all,” the Captain twirled the cane in his hands. “Why are you here today?”

“To get answers,” Yunho replied.

“You’ve got your answers now, haven’t you? Scoot off, then,” he relaxed back, glaring at Yunho.

“Who are you, really?” Yunho asked. “How come you knew about the Medical Research Department?”

The Captain’s smirk fell and he looked wistfully into the fire. “Because I’m one of the masterminds behind Level 0, and to this day, I regret being a part of it.”

Yunho was positive his heart actually dropped to his feet. “You’re a Utopian?”

“The only Utopian who escaped at the right time before they turned against us and stole our ideas,” the Captain looked at Yunho. “Kim Hongjoong, in flesh and blood.”

“Kim Hongjoong is dead,” Yunho couldn’t believe his ears. “We held a funeral for you.”

“A good cover up by Halaland, I’ll give them that,” he shrugged. “They needed to do that to take over and turn on Utopia- they’ve been on my tail ever since. I wasn’t sure if they had the brains to continue with the experimentation- testing on humans was never my idea either. It’s why I sent Aurora to finish this once and for all. We’ve met with your higher-ups and we’ve agreed to not expose their dirty deeds if they end this nonsensical war. The official end of the war will be announced soon.”

Yunho definitely felt something like a heavy burden lifted from his shoulders at the revelation. “And where are the members of Level 0?”

“The ones who were actually doing the dirty deeds will be secretly tried in court. The ones who were spies, like Yeosang… they’re going home. I understand you had a few friends there? Mingi, for instance? He was my closest junior- he’s in the next room if you wish to see him.”

Yunho nodded, letting all of this digest before he got up. “Thank you for what you did- I’m not sure I quite understand the gravity of it yet- it’s too much to process right now, but… thank you.”

“No need to thank me, I did what I had to,” Hongjoong looked at him, an unspoken agreement shared.

He needed to thank Aurora.

He needed to see Aurora.

Yunho spent the most part of the night with Mingi, catching up and confirming the facts, learning that the ‘lab rats’ were now being treated by the doctors and realising how brutally his people had treated even their own. His heart felt tight in his chest by the time he was done chatting with him and he went outside for some fresh air.

And a few minutes later, spotted two figures walking towards the cottage.

He could recognise you even from your silhouette, and he thought it was crazy that he did. He recognised the exact moment you saw him and paused for a mere fraction of a second before continuing to move like nothing had happened. He knew your mannerisms, he knew you inside out, and yet-

He knew nothing about you.

He didn’t even know your name.

This time when you met eyes, he waved awkwardly at you and you felt your heart sink again. You wanted to scream at him, shout at him, but you were far too tired. Your companion took leave, disappearing inside and you walked slowly but surely to Yunho.

“You’re here.”

Yunho passed a tight-lipped smile, wondering where to begin. He scanned you as you took off your mask and hat, looking-

Fatigued.

“Are you- have you been well?” Yunho asked, hating how he sounded.

You shrugged. “Did you meet your brother?”

“Yes. He’s safe now…” Yunho took a step forward but you backed away and he paused, muttering a ‘sorry’.

“Well, I guess that’s it, then?” You began, looking up and scanning him- you had no idea where he had been the past week but he looked the most weary. “You heard everything, I’m assuming?”

Yunho nodded. “I should have seen it earlier. You didn’t really hide it from me, did you?”

A faintest hint of a smile crawled to your lips. “You don’t always see what’s in front of your eyes, Yunho.”

Yunho’s heart tugged at the way you called his name. “What are we going to do, Aurora?”

You passed a weak smile. “I don’t know. All I know is that I’m going back. I cannot spend one day longer in this wicked, wicked land.”

Yunho felt the jab good and well. “I’m sorry for what it took from you.”

“Are you?” You sighed when hurt flashed across his eyes. “I’m not even mad at you, Yunho. I’m just… disappointed in myself. I’m disappointed that my love didn’t seem real enough- that you doubted my intentions so quickly.”

“And wouldn’t you have done the same?” Yunho challenged. “If I turned my back on you? Wouldn’t you have questioned every moment that we shared?”

“Maybe not-”

“You could have told me, Aurora,” Yunho almost yelled in frustration but clenched his eyes shut to reel himself in. “All you had to do was trust me. You didn’t trust me enough to tell me who you were. I keep calling you Aurora but that’s not even your name.”

You felt the very familiar sting in your eyes. “I had people to protect.”

“And so did I,” Yunho’s gaze was hard. “And I had you to protect. I would have laid my life down for you, if only you had allowed me to.”

You turned away, wiping your eyes. “I couldn’t allow that.”

“So we’re even then, aren’t we?” Yunho’s voice was also quivering and you dared to glance at him. “Please… look at me.”

You did and this time when he stepped towards you, you didn’t back away. He put his hands on your shoulders, rubbing them just like he used to. “Tell me your name.”

You passed him a sad smile as you told him your name, buried somewhere so deep inside you, uncalled for years. He said it twice, testing it on his lips. It felt right.

“Y/n,” he smiled widely and you laughed through the tears. “I want to know who that is. I want to learn about you again, if you’ll let me. If you forgive me for doubting you and for being an asshole-”

“No,” you shook your head furiously. “You gave me so much, Yunho, and I returned nothing in comparison. I would have lost myself there if it weren’t for your presence always grounding me, even when we were as good as strangers. I- you gave me love when I thought I’d never find it again, when it had become a foreign concept to me.”

“Do you love me still, y/n?” He asked, his eyes expectant.

“I do, you fool,” you laughed, finally earning the grin you so loved to see. “I hope you don’t hate me.”

“How could I?” Yunho’s hand shook slightly as he cupped your face and you leaned into his touch. His gaze was so strong as he caressed the angles of your face- you were positive your knees were actually turning weak and perhaps they were, that’s why his other hand travelled to your waist to bring you closer. “How could I hate you when you look at me like this? Like you could break me? Like you’d break in my touch too?”

He planted a kiss on your forehead, lingering there and you breathed in the scent of him- the scent that was your home now. Yunho didn’t waste any more time, leaning in and capturing your lips in a kiss that absolutely shattered you the way it was so cautious yet so, so demanding. You brought your arms to wrap around his neck, standing on your tiptoes with your body flush against him as you kissed back, deeper, making him loosen up with every movement until you were simply making out, exchanging all the feelings too deeply buried, all the words unspoken, all the apologies and the promises.

“I missed you so, so much, y/n,” Yunho breathed against your lips when you broke apart for breath, tugging at your lower lip with his teeth that made you dig your nails into his skin. He pecked your lips again. “You have no idea.”

“I do,” you kissed him. “I know all too well.”

Yunho drew apart, tucking your hair behind your ears as he gazed at you lovingly. “Take me with you this time, will you?”

“You want to come with me to Utopia?” You raised a brow.

“I mean… all my friends will be there,” he glanced back at the cottage and you understood who he meant. “Besides… I’m quite sick of Halaland too. Pretty sure they have a wanted poster back in the facility for me.”

You laughed at that. “Basically you want to come with me because you’re dead meat here.”

“I’m dead meat anywhere if I’m not with you-”

“Stop!” You put your hands over your ears, laughing as you ran away because his goofy side was back and he went after you, making you squeal.

Hongjoong and Seonghwa stood watching from the window upstairs. Hongjoong tsk-ed. “An absolutely disgusting sight, don’t you think?”

“Absolutely,” Seonghwa clinked his drink with Hongjoong’s and they both cursed under their breaths as they drank-

To love. To victory.

To going back home.

2K notes · View notes

cocoakrispis-blog · 29 days

Text

✭ 3. FAMILY THERAPY ✭

pairing ~ ellie williams x fem! reader

summary ~ we join (y/n) in her first family therapy session which goes fairly well for her, but she seems a little bit more focused on ellie and what she’s going through. (y/n) seems to be thinking about ellie a lot it’s almost like she’s even haunting her dreams.

warnings ~ homophobia, tones of a little bit of religious trauma, joel finally makes his appearance but he’s homophobic :(, lil bit nsfw, wet dreams, making out, masturbation

wc ~ 4.0k words

SERIES MASTERLIST

the next step for the true directions rehabilitation program was family therapy.

this was one of the steps that your were dreading the most.

there was still a lot of shame that lingered in your conscious at fully admitting that you were a homosexual. as well as a touch of embarrassment that your family and friends were able to figure it out before you.

you still got anxious saying the word, lesbian, quietly to yourself with no one else around.

you had no idea how you were going to face your parents the people who had raised you to be a perfect, good-mannered, respectful, and more than anything normal teenage girl and look them straight in the face to tell them you had ended up as anything but.

the guilt that kept you up at night was getting easier to deal with day by day but the announcement of family therapy made it come back in full force.

where had they went wrong?

where had you went wrong?

the two questions that kept you from getting one single good night of fully restful sleep.

it wasn’t hard to see that you and the girls weren’t looking forward to facing this next step.

in the morning it was much more quiet than usual and everyone ate their breakfast in silence.

getting ready for the main event was somewhat uncomfortable as well.

it was almost silent and everyone seemed to be in almost some sort of trance.

even ellie who didn’t have any trouble teasing you for small things like how you applied your lip gloss or the way you walked was completely silent.

it unsettled you.

you knew you would be overjoyed for finally catching a break from all of the teasing but for some reason it made you feel oddly sad and lonely.

everyone had became significantly more tense once maria had announced to them that their parents had actually arrived and were now waiting for them in the room that you would be using.

“they’re all waiting in that room for you guys go ahead and go chat with them a little bit while i prepare our lesson for today!” maria exclaimed quite cheerily.

everyone reluctantly nodded their head and slowly trickled into the room.

the first parent that you noticed was a burly looking cowboy with what you assumed was large ten gallon hat to complete the look.

his presence was quite misplaced in the pastel orange room, and it immediately drew your eyes to him.

it was obvious he didn’t belong here and you wondered how he had even found out about this place.

to your surprise ellie walked up to the man and as soon as he noticed her he pulled her into a tight embrace.

“hi there ellie.” you quietly heard the man’s thick southern accent whisper into the top of her head.

for the first time time since you had seen ellie you briefly saw her completely let her guard down and melt into the hug.

your heart squeezed and you unconsciously wished you could see her do that more often.

“hi joel.” ellie whispered back softer than you’d ever heard her speak.

your intense staring at the tender moment was soon interrupted by your own parents who you had completely forgotten were there to begin with.

“what’s got you so distracted (y/n) aren’t you happy to see us?” your dad joked and pulled you into a hug.

you were knocked out of your trance and immediately put fixed your face to appease your parents.

“of course i’m happy to see you guys!” you squeezed your dad before smiling at your mom and pulling her into a brief side hug.

after you chatted and caught up a bit more maria walked into the room to announce that you guys would be starting.

as you were finding your seats you finally looked around to observe everyone else’s parents.

dina was accompanied by her mom and what looked like her little sister.

dina and her mom and sister all looked extremely alike but it was obvious dina was the more laid back one of the three.

riley was in deep conversation with her mom and dad about what you assumed to be sports.

their relationship seemed to look quite healthy and normal and you couldn’t help but wonder why they would send her to this place.

cat only seemed to be with her very professional looking mother.

it was almost comical to see how alternative looking and cool cat looked next to her very serious and businesslike mom.

when you finished observing the room and everyone was officially settled and quiet maria began to speak again.

“well first i’d like to thank everyone for coming today your presence is very beneficial to our campers and is very helpful with their progress.

everyone clapped at the small welcoming before maria continued.

“so today in family therapy will be discussing our roots and really just opening up to get more comfortable with each other.” maria clapped. “why don’t you start riley.”

riley anxiously looked around the room before clearing her throat and beginning.

“well um hey to those who don’t know me my name is riley and i am a lesbian.” she glanced over the adults in the room for a reaction before continuing. “well my root is always playing softball growing up.”

“would you like to go more into detail about how deeply that affected you we are all here to listen and better understand eachother.” maria said gently.

riley nodded before going further in depth about her extreme love for sports and how girls that played it impacted her sexuality.

you somewhat zoned out as she kept talking since you had already heard all about this in group therapy and just allowed yourself to continue looking around the room.

all the other girls seemed to in the same predicament and you briefly made eye contact with dina and sent her a smile.

for the most part the rest of the session was a blur you were quite focused on putting together your root and making sure you didn’t ramble on and embarrass yourself.

eventually it was ellie’s turn and once maria said her name you were instantly thrown out of your own thoughts and you prepared yourself to listen intently.

there was long pause before ellie began talking and you couldn’t help but wonder what exactly was going on inside her head at that very moment.

she was usually so quick witted and smart it was quite unusual to see her in this almost timid state.

“i-i don’t have a root.” she mumbled quietly under her breath.

everyone shifted quite awkwardly at her response and you looked at maria to see how she would react.

maria’s smile briefly faltered before she corrected it and looked at ellie with an almost mocking look.

“what do you mean you don’t have a root ellie we all know you have one there really is no reason to be scared this is a safe space.” maria attempted to comfort the girl.

“no i really don’t have one.” ellie crossed her arms tightly to her chest before training her gaze onto the boring floor.

maria grimaced before pressing on.

“well since i know you do i’ll just say it and you can elaborate on it.” maria sighed quietly.

“ellie’s root is that her mother got married in pants.” maria announced to the group proudly.

you saw ellie’s dad give the woman a weird stare before training his hard gaze on ellie.

“is that right ellie?” joel mirrored ellie’s crossed arms and started to tap his foot impatiently.

you saw ellie hesitantly look up from the ground to glance at joel.

“n-no it’s not right i l-lied i don’t have a mom i’m adopted.” ellie mumbled quietly.

your fought back the urge to take in a large dramatic gasp and just settled for squeezing tightly on your skirt.

seeing ellie genuinely vulnerable and open was truly a sight to behold, and you were beyond shocked.

the lying was extremely obvious and you were honestly shocked maria even believed her fake root to begin with.

however everything that came after her admitting her lie was extremely surprising.

you felt your heart squeeze painfully at how sad ellie sounded when she admitted everything.

“ellie how exactly is this program supposed to help you if you’re going around here lying.” you clearly heard the strain in his voice.

ellie settled for not responding and silently stared at the floor with furrowed eyebrows.

“really ellie you have nothing to say for yourself?” he sighed at the unresponsive girl.

you watched as ellie bit her lip and shook her head solemnly.

“well if you’re not going to put in the effort to get better why am i even here trying to put the effort in to help you get better.” joel stated before rising from the couch without another word and walking out of the room.

as soon as he left you looked at ellie who looked completely shocked that he had left and watched as she scrambled out of the room to follow after him.

you turned around in your chair to see the two arguing outside but due to their distance you couldn’t hear any words. but from the frustrated facial expressions on both of their faces it was easy to assume the conversation is was not going well at all.

the scene made your heart feel almost indescribably sad.

it was obvious that the both of them were very close despite not being blood related but this situation had put an extreme strain on their relationship.

your shameless staring was interrupted by maria awkwardly clearing her throat and calling out your name.

“well um (y/n) it is now time for you to reveal your root.” maria said sternly.

you gulped quietly and shifted uncomfortable before announcing the root of your homosexuality that you had been going over in your head over and over again.

once you were finished the whole room burst into applause.

you heard murmurs of ‘who would have thought’ and ‘she’s so brave’ being whispered throughout the room.

maria even looked more than pleased with the biggest grin on her face.

you tried to smile back at her but you knew the only thing you really wanted to do right now was whip your head back around to see what had happened to ellie and her adoptive father joel.

soon after that the session of family therapy was finished and it was time for everyone to send their families on their way.

your mind could barely focus on giving a proper goodbye to your parents because ellie still hadn’t come back and all you wanted to do was know that she was okay.

the rest of the day went by in a blur and before you knew it it was free time.

usually you would spend your free time chatting it up with dina and riley but this time it felt like it was almost your duty to speak to and comfort ellie.

ellie was sat by herself over one of the small hills in front of the house smoking one of the cigarettes you still didn’t understand how she snuck in.

you mentally gave yourself a mini pep talk before waltzing over to ellie and taking a seat next to her.

as soon as you sat down next to her ellie scooted away from you.

“what am i contagious?” you gave her a confused look.

you expected her to give you back some kind of witty comeback but much to you dismay she very simply ended up rolling her eyes and promptly took another long drag of her cigarette.

you sighed softly at her lack of response and focused your attention on the notepad siting in your lap.

since there wasn’t much entertainment around here you would frequently make little cheers for your team to use whenever you would return back from camp.

your head unconsciously bopped up and down as you repeated the cheer over and over in your head while attempting to come up with the next line.

“what is that?” ellie finally decided to stop ignoring you and moved a little closer to look at the lines of cheer written on your notepad.

“i’m trying to make a cheer but i’m stuck right now.” you sighed in frustration.

ellie gave you a mildly interested look before asking you another question about your cheer. “well what do you have so far?”.

you smiled at her question before clearing our throat and chanting out what you had so far.

“5-6-7-8 God is good-“

ellie interrupted you to add onto the cheer.

“God is straight!’ she cheered out in fake enthusiasm.

you frowned once you realized ellie wasn’t actually taking you seriously.

“cheers aren’t supposed to be super duper smart and witty you know they’re just to make people feel hyped up and good.” you gave her an annoyed look.

“cheers make tiny girls in tiny skirts to little flips.” ellie took a drag out of her cigarette before continuing. “orgasms make people feel good.”

you felt your cheeks warm and you quickly looked away to hide your embarrassment.

ellie softly chuckled at the look on your face and shrugged her shoulders casually. “just trying to help you out.”

you rolled your eyes in response and you two sat in a comfortable silence for a little while.

“your dad- um i-i mean your joel didn’t stay very long.” you messed with the grass of the hilll while casually trying to bring up the topic of the absolute trainwreck of a family therapy.

“his old ass was probably just cranky from not having an afternoon nap.” ellie laughed at her own joke with little enthusiasm.

“i know for a fact that he’s just trying to do what’s best for you.” you gently tried to soothe her obvious discomfort.

“well aren’t you just the sweetest little thing.” ellie scoffed at your response and gave you an irritated look.

“this whole thing is bullshit (y/n) i don’t know why you can’t you see that, you are who you are the only way you get by in life is by not getting found out.” ellie ridiculed you harshly.

you tried your best not to take her words to heart and pressed on.

“well if you’re such an expert on how to do this whole thing the right way how did you end up here?” you questioned the freckle faced girl.

“i got caught.” she sighed before mumbling out her response quietly.

“how exactly did you get caught?” you asked her curiously.

ellie let out a breath before beginning her explanation.

“i uhh used to have this friend that was a girl and we spent just a little bit too much time together.” you clearly saw ellie struggle to keep her voice level while explaining.

“what did you and this friend get caught doing?” you followed up your previous question.

ellie gave you an unimpressed look and sighed in annoyance.

“what do you think?”

her question was left hanging in the air as you imagined ellie with another girl doing inherently naughty things.

you felt your stomach turn at the thought and quickly shook your head to make your mind think of something else.

“one day joel caught us together and he decided the best course of action would be to send me here.” she continued when you didn’t respond.

there was another pause before you ed your next question.

you briefly debated back and forth with yourself to ask it but ultimately decided if you didn’t ask now you probably wouldn’t find a time to ask later.

“where you in love with her?” you asked ellie softly.

ellie looked away from you and quickly stood up to avoid your gaze.

“does it even matter?” grumbled under her breath.

you panicked once you realized you may have gone to far and in a desperate attempt to get her to stay you very gently reached up and grabbed her wrist to hold her in place.

ellie quickly retracted her wrist and gave you a look you couldn’t identify.

“careful i could get you reported for that.” was the last thing she said before leaving you to your own thoughts.

that interaction was the last one you had with ellie until it was time for lights out and you and all the rest of the girls were getting ready for bed.

you were sharing the mirror with dina and ellie as you all did your own separate nighttime routines.

dina was wiping down her face, as you brushed your hair, and ellie washed her mouth.

you were pretty much off in your own little world as you brushed your hair but out of the corner of our eye ellie asked your interest.

for some reason the sight of the water dripping form ellie’s mouth was oddly intimate and you couldn’t help but gawk.

ellie noticed your obvious staring and gave you a smirk and a wink before going back to washing her mouth.

you felt your body warm because of ellie and hastily put up your brush before running out of the bathroom.

you distantly heard dina ask ellie what was wrong with you and ellie let out a laugh before you jumped into bed as fast as possible.

you had no idea how much you were affected by what ellie had done in the bathroom until it was a couple of hours later and you just couldn’t manage to fall asleep.

for some reason every time you closed your eyes all you could see was ellie staring at you with her beautiful green eyes with much more attention than she had ever given you in real life.

as soon as that image materialized you would always open your eyes as fast as possible to get the scene out of your head.

after a while you got tired of interrupting your sleep and tried to just keep your eyes closed to see if maybe something else would happen after you would see ellie.

your eyes were then closed and you were back into your dream world staring at ellie and her pale green eyes.

ellie stared at you softly before leaning in and pressing her soft lips against hers.

the kiss was one of the most gentle things you had ever felt and without thinking you leaned into the kiss to return it full force.

you felt ellie smile into the kiss and her arms wrapped around you to pull you in closer.

your hands found your way into her auburn hair and you tugged at it when she teasingly bit your lip to ask for entrance.

you opened your mouth to allow her tongue to enter your mouth and softly moaned when you felt her warm wet tongue caress you own.

you felt fireworks go off in your mind at the feeling and pulled her in even closer by her hair to deepen the kiss.

ellie moaned into the kiss and roughly began kissing you back in retaliation.

you felt ellie’s hand trail down to your bottoms and begin to toy with the edge of your panties.

your eyes shot open in a panic before she could get any further and you sat up in bed while panting to catch your breath.

what had just happened?

you had heard of wet dreams before but you only knew of boys experiencing it so you were utterly confused as to why you had just suffering from one.

your confusion was cut short by the feeling of your thighs unconsciously rubbing together to relieve the pressure between your thighs.

you quietly gasped when you looked down to see a wet patch on your little shorts leaking from your panties.

there was only a couple of times you had felt this intense unfamiliar feeling and it always had to do with when you were staring a little bit too long at one of your teammates in practice.

you assumed it was just being proud of them for completing a hard trick but as you sat here in your own wetness after having such a dirty dream you realized it was actually arousal.

your whole body turned warm once you realized you were turned on and there was no way you would be able to go back to sleep without taking care of it.

as silently as possible you got out of bed and headed into the bathroom to hopefully sort out what was going on inside your panties.

you didn’t even bother turning on the lights to stay as discreet as possible.

for a while you stared at yourself in the mirror of the dark bathroom in hope of maybe finding some answers.

when no answers came out of the darkness you sighed to yourself in realization of what you would really have to do.

you very slowly took off your sleeping shorts and panties in one motion and shivered once you felt the cold air on your dripping heat.

masturbation wasn’t something you were completely clueless to but you had never actually tried to do it yourself.

from the mandatory sex ed class you had taken you knew were everything was and just hoped you could actually make yourself feel good.

you very hesitantly brought your hand down to your pussy and gasped softly once you actually made contact with it.

it was an unfamiliar feeling but it felt good.

it was so wet and a warm you almost felt embarrassed what you got this way from a dream with ellie in it.

almost.

your middle finger trailed down to your clit and you bit your lip in concentration as you began to circle it in soft motions.

you felt your hole twitch at the feeling and you whined softly as you softly pinched your clit between two fingers.

your nipples harden underneath your thin sleep shirt and without thinking you reached up to grab at one of your boobs with your other hand.

when you fingers made contact with your hardened nipples you had to bite back a whine at how good the stimulation felt.

the fingers that were circling your clit sped up and your breathing began to get heavier as you tell a foreign feeling start to build up in your lower stomach.

you threw your head back when you felt your fingers apply the perfect pressure to your clit and accidentally squeezed your nipple harder than intended, resulting in a quiet moan.

before you were fully able to process what was happening you felt your clit twitch and your dripping hole squeeze impossibly tighter.

the feeling growing in your lower stomach snapped and you felt the feeling of your warm cum slide down your spent pussy.

it was so overwhelming you had to rip your hand from your tit to cover your mouth to prevent any sounds from leaking out.

you had never felt something so euphoric and it was difficult to keep silent about it.

after a coupled blissful seconds the feeling started to wear off and you hesitantly brought your fingers up to look at how soaked they were.

you felt embarrassment fill you when you realized you had just cum on your own fingers in the dark bathroom with thoughts of ellie on the forefront of your mind.

without saying another word you washed your hands, reclothed your bottom half despite the fact that they were still sticky with your slick and quietly left the bathroom.

even though you knew no one was awake to look at you you still kept your head down in shame all the way back to your bed.

much to your surprise as soon as you got into bed a wave of exhaustion washed over you which made it much easier for you to fall asleep this time around.

the last thoughts on your mind as you fell asleep being about how much better you could have felt if ellie had been the one helping you out in the bathroom.

a/n: damn (y/n) is kinda FREAKY! uhh so sorry this took so long to come out school came went and kicked my ass. it literally took me the whole wee to write this it’s how busy i was i really hope it was worth the wait. i already said this but this isn’t exactly supposed to be word for word bar for bar by the movie so i cut some stuff and changed it out if i felt like it wouldn’t work with the storyline i am trying to create. i had so much fun writing the joel part but it was os hard because i know that canon joel would never care if ellie liked kissing girls </3. anyways i really hope you guys enjoyed this chapter i will be pushing out the next chapter as soon as i can love you guys!!!

taglist: @st4r-b3rries @dollyvuu @lvlymicha @jellyfishrnice @machetegirl109 @smiths-fan--13 @elliewilliamssrealgf @ravyaryn @yuhgetintoonit @nelzooo @luvmily @dearestdolly444 @venuzasmuse @madislament @mochaluvsu @youfoundheavenn @boujieeprincesss @canellescandles

#ellie the last of us #ellie williams #ellie williams fanfiction #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams fanfic #ellie williams x female reader #ellie x fem reader #ellie x reader #ellie willams x reader #ellie williams tlou #ellie williams smut #joel and ellie #ellie x reader smut #dina tlou #dina #but im a cheerleader

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homeofthelonelywriter · 2 months

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Your lips | Pt. 4

(A/N) Aaaahhhh it's almost over. There will be an epilogue tho, so look out for that!

Pairing: Simon x fem!pregnant!Reader

Warning: mutual pining, medical stuff (nothing graphic), mention of scars, pregnancy, kissis, birth and everything it entails

Synopsis: Your water broke, but Simon's away on a training exercise. Will he make it back? And will the birth go smoothly?

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Epilogue

You almost pissed yourself as the door to your hospital room flew open. There was Simon, still in full gear, covered in sweat and panting as if he had just sprinted the entire way to the hospital. His eyes immediately found your form and…you waved.

“Are….aren’t you in…in labor?”

You tilted your head to the side, a soft smile on your face.

“I am. Why?”

He groaned, finally giving in and leaning onto his knees as he kept panting. Behind him, three shadows appeared in the doorway, peeking in around his form. You smiled and waved, knowing that these had to be his teammates. After a few moments of rest, Simon rose back to his full height and walked over to you. You were lying in a hospital bed, a few wires attached to you, but all in all, you looked happy and healthy.

As soon as Simon was close enough, he pulled his balaclava up over his mouth and pressed a kiss to your lips. Then, he turned around and motioned to the three men still standing in the doorway.

“Sorry, I brought company.”

You grin at him, waving the others to come in. First was an older man with a beard and a fishing hat. This had to be Captain Price. The next one was younger, about Simon’s age, with a Mohawk. Definitely Johnny. The last one had a darker complexion, and good lord was he handsome. Kyle, Simon always described him as the prettiest on the team. Not your type, but definitely pretty.

“Ma’am. I apologize for the intrusion, Simon was just worried and we wanted to make sure you were alright.”

You smile and wave of his concern, instead motioning to the couch and the chairs scattered around the room.

“Please, it’s okay. Sit down, stay for a bit.”

Then you turned to Simon.

“I packed a pair of sweatpants and a few shirts for you. They’re in the bag in the closet, if you want to change. A medical mask is also in there, probably more comfortable than the balaclava.”

Simon nodded and pressed a quick kiss against your forehead, before he walked to the closet and grabbed the bag, disappearing into the bathroom. Once inside, he quickly combed through what was in there, smiling when he found the grey sweats he knew you loved on him. He decided to take a quick shower, before changing. Twenty minutes later, he walked out to find you laughing along with his teammates.

“He did not!”

Price chuckled as he leaned back in his chair, nodding.

“Oh, he did.”

You were laughing so hard, you started crying. Simon immediately cleared his throat, a frown evident on his face as he sat down beside your legs.

“What were you talking about?”

Instinctively, you reached out to him, his hands automatically taking hold of yours. Your smile widened as his thumb started to stroke the back of your hand.

“Nothing, John was just telling me some stories about you.”

Simon groaned, glancing at his Captain, before he looked back at you.

“How embarrassed do I have to be?”

You shook your head.

“Not at all. But I have to get my stories from someone else since you don’t tell me any. Not that I’m complaining, to be honest, your friends here are amazing.”

Simon smiled underneath his mask and raised your hand to his lips, pressing a soft kiss to your knuckles.

“I’m glad you like ‘em. But…”

Simon drew the word out, turning to his teammates.

“…I’m gonna kick them out now.”

You started to complain, but before the words could leave your lips, a heavy contraction hit you, and your face screwed up in pain. Simon’s focus immediately landed back on you, his grip on your hand tightening as your grip tightened as well.

After a few moments, the pain started to subside again and you finally were able to take a breath. You peeked up at Simon, your lips pulling into a pained smile.

“It’s okay. I’m okay.”

Simon nodded, but the concern didn’t fully leave his face. Behind him, the other three got to their feet and slowly walked to the door, waving as they left. You quickly focused back on Simon, who still looked concerned, so you reached up and gently cradled his cheek, stroking along the scar on his cheekbone.

“Si, I’m okay.”

You lowered your hand and with a groan, pushed yourself over to the other side of the bed, making pace for Simon to crawl in. He did and turned so you could lie your head on his chest, his arm resting on your waist.

And that was how you spend the next hours. Relaxing with Simon by your side and working through contractions as they hit. After eleven hours, the doctor came in and finally told you it was time to start pushing. By that point, Simon had moved to a chair next to the bed, holding your hand as you curled up in pain.

“It’s okay, love. I’m here. I’m here my love. I’m here, I’m here.”

He kept repeating these words as he leaned over you, holding your hand and kissing your forehead, not caring about how sweaty you were. He stayed by your side, holding you, telling you how good you were doing, how wonderful you were. And when the first cry of your baby rang out and tears started to stream down your cheeks, he just closed his eyes, leaned his forehead against your shoulder, and started praying. Thanking whatever was above that you and the baby were safe.

And then they held her up for a moment, offering you and Simon a glance at the baby.

“It’s a girl.”

The nurse smiled at you two before she carefully put her on your chest, your arms immediately wrapping around her tiny body, covered by one of Simon’s hands.

“She’s beautiful.”

It came out as a whisper and you glanced up at Simon, not missing the few tears rolling down his cheeks. He chuckled and nodded.

“She is. But so are you.”

He pressed his lips to your forehead, a quiet sob escaping your lips at his words. After giving you a few moments to hold her, a nurse took her away to complete some checks. While they were doing that, the doctor helped you birth your placenta and finished you up, before she left. After an hour or so, you had your baby girl back in your arms, with Simon lying beside you, holding both of you.

A yawn escaped you as you lay there, Simon chuckled softly.

“Growing tired, love?”

You sleepily nodded your head and leaned against his shoulder, cuddling into him.

“Giver her here, I’ll put her in her bassinet and she’ll be right there when you wake up.”

Although you wanted to keep holding her, you knew he was right. So, with one last kiss on her tiny hands, you let him take her and place her in the little bed, right beside your bed. He stayed there for a few moments, making sure she was alright before he joined you back in bed.

You immediately cuddled against him, resting your head on his chest, before closing your eyes and drifting away. But before you could fall asleep completely, Simon carefully pressed his lips against your forehead, catching your attention. You hummed, letting him know that you were awake still.

“Thank you. I know she isn’t mine, but…I’ll treat her as if she is. I promise I’ll take good care of you two. I promise.”

Your eyes fluttered open and you smiled at him.

“I couldn’t imagine a better father.”

He smiled and pulled you even closer, letting himself drift off with you in his arms and his baby girl right next to him.

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Call of Duty - Masterlist

Master-Masterlist

Tags: @brinteylovesaliens @m3ntally-unstable @gingergirl06

Like what you're reading? Buy me a coffee!

#ghost #ghost x reader #ghost fanfiction #ghost cod #cod #cod fanfiction #cod x reader #simon ghost riley #simon ghost riley x reader #simon ghost riley fanfiction #simon riley #ghost simon riley #simon riley x reader #simon ghost x reader #fanfiction

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etherealising · 1 year

Text

chapter eight | to see a friend, to see a ghost

masterlist | ↢ previous chapter | next chapter ↣

pairing: carmen berzatto x fem!reader

summary: a secret you’ve been keeping from carmen finally comes to light.

wc: 8.9k

song inspo: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 (highly recommend to add to the heartbreak!)

If it was any later and the sky was any darker, you might have been startled by the figure waiting on your porch. But as you approached, arms occupied with bags full of decorations, you recognized that patch color jacket, and the baseball cap not doing nearly enough to disguise his features.

Stopping before your steps you just looked at the person for a minute, the man was obviously zoned out if he hadn’t already been alerted to your presence from the sound of your car arriving and now the slap of your boots against the pavement.

When you left that voicemail earlier, you hadn’t expected Carmy to take immediate action, it wasn’t like him. You also didn’t expect him to show up unannounced but maybe you should’ve waited before sending your address in that group text.

You made your way up the steps, the jingling keys in your hand finally drew the man’s attention, and the speed at which he flew off the chair situated on your porch was almost comical. Your eyes darted to his, taking in what you could see of his figure that wasn’t hidden behind his jacket or hat. He held two paper bags in one hand and the package you had been expecting in the other, sure the delivery driver just left it with him.

The silence stretched between the two of you. You could see Carmen begin to fidget in your peripheral vision; good he deserved to be uncomfortable for a minute or two.

Finally unlocking the door you pushed through, pausing to take your shoes off. The man behind you hesitated, not sure if he should move forward to follow behind you or not. He took a minute before stepping forward, your eyes meeting his as you stood between his only entrance.

“I don’t remember inviting you in,” it was harsh, but it was also the truth.

He stopped for a moment, cheeks flushing pink as he cleared his throat, “Can I uh, is it okay if I come in?”

It would have been easy to deny him access, leave him out here on your porch, or even allow him to squirm more. But you could hear Pete’s words playing in your mind as you thought of all the petty things you wanted to do at that moment.

You let out an exasperated sigh the constant back and forth between the two of you was finally catching up. You nodded before heading to your living room to drop the bags off on the couch, the open door an invitation for the man on your porch. The bags were safely deposited on your couch as you moved to head into your kitchen, stopping short as you spotted Carmy still standing in your foyer.

A chuckle escaped your lips at the awkward man. You made your way to him, stopping in front of him and taking the package from his hand and the two grocery bags. “You can leave your shoes and jacket out here.” You left him standing alone in the foyer, confident he would find his way to you eventually.

Carmen watched as you disappeared further into your house, the man quickly shedding his shoes and accessories, stopping at the mirror by the coat rack to tame his messy hat hair. He felt like a teenager all over again, fussing over how he would present himself to you. Carmy moved in the direction you had gone in, steps slowing as he tried to take in everything he could about your abode, from the decorations to the colors swatched on your walls. It all reminded him of things he missed out on with you, would you have gushed to him about the prospect of owning a home? Would you have asked his opinion on design choices?

The two of you had once gone to each other for everything, and because he was afraid of being completely vulnerable to his feelings for you, he felt like a stranger on the outside looking in.

He found you in the kitchen, eyes locked on the bottle of wine in your hands he brought with him, “You uh…talked about how much you loved it back in New York so I-I thought it might be nice to have it again.”

Your index finger traced the label of the bottle in your hand, memories of that weekend flooding through you, but that’s just what they were; memories. It was the present day now and no matter the itch you felt to let the red wine warm your mouth, drink enough of it to dull your senses, you wouldn’t allow yourself to.

“What are we doing Carmen?” The bottle of red was gently placed on your island as you looked at the man standing in the space just between your kitchen and living room.

Seeing him in a space that had been wholly your own felt a little weird, you didn’t want to think about the times you imagined what it would’ve been like to share such a space with him as you watched him stand in your house like he was meant to be there; like he belonged.

“I got your voicemail,” you leaned your elbows on the counter propping your head up as you listened. “This is me accepting your olive branch, I just…wanna make things right between us..” The explanation pulled a sigh from your lips, fingers tracing patterns into the marble island beneath you. You left the voicemail with the assumption that it would take Carmen a bit to get back to you, he had never been adamant about fixing your relationship before.

“You also have something I need,” Carmen watched as you raised your eyebrows, eyes leaving the spot you were tracing.

“And what would that be?” The scar between your eyebrows felt tight as your face pulled into a frown, your brain wandering to figure out what you could possibly have that Carmen would need.

Carmen sent a small smile your way, “Let’s cook and we’ll talk about it after.” You watched as the man joined you on the opposite side of your island reaching to remove the rest of the food from their bags.

The genuine laugh that bubbled out of your chest filled Carmy with warmth, “Do you always walk into people's houses and try and negotiate?”

Carmy did his best to control the warm fluttery feeling in his chest, the weeks without you were hard and the fact that your laugh could ease his full body ache was enough for him to realize just how much he wanted you as a constant in his life. “I didn’t think I’d make it this far.”

A silence lapsed between the two of you as you helped unpack the rest of the food. This whole situation felt like a bad idea, you definitely weren’t over Carmen’s stunt or the previous incidents where he let you down. But you had been skating through this year on borrowed time, and the time apart helped to calm your anger, you felt like you were in a much more level headed place to finally figure out what the hell this thing was between the two of you. And Pete’s words at lunch helped to give you a new perspective on the whole situation.

“What the hell are we even making?” Baking was your preferred form of cooking, so as you looked at all the ingredients laid out it was a bit confusing to piece the meal together.

The sound of your voice warmed Carmen’s senses, the silky tone danced through his ears buzzing against his brain. “Chicken Marsala.”

You nodded, declining a glass of wine with dinner was one thing, but now looking at the new bottle of Marsala that would be in your meal, you’d have to decline the whole dinner.

“That sounds so fucking delicious but I…I actually can’t eat it.”

Carmen stopped his ministrations with the ingredients, “No you’re good I uh I didn’t get anything you’re allergic to.” His eyes darted across the ingredients double checking that he hadn’t bought any compromising ingredients.

“Thank you, Carm, your consideration is thoughtful.” The extra measure made your heart rate speed up.

It was crazy really how the same man standing in your kitchen swearing up and down he didn’t buy any foods you were allergic to, could also be the same man who came across as uncaring.

“I appreciate the effort I do but…” Your heart felt like it was going to pound out of your chest. How could you admit to your best friend, the person who once knew you most, that almost a year ago you were staring at blank hospital walls as some doctor explained to both you and Natalie just how close to death you were? “Carmy I-”

The hand resting on your elbow helped to calm your breathing, it wasn’t like you weren’t ready to admit your overdose to Carmy, you were just worried about the aftermath. “Baby hey, you with me?” You felt the hand skate down your arm, Carmy’s thumb soothingly caressing your pulse point.

You turned to face Carmen searching his eyes, doing your best to memorize the way he looked at you, unsure if you’d ever be graced with this intimate gaze again. “Carmen I…I’ve been sober for 7 months.”

The silence in your kitchen was loud, You needed Carmy to say something to you, yell at you, call you a hypocrite for blowing up on him all those weeks ago when you had been the one lying to him this whole time. It would be easier if the blank wide-eyed look on his face morphed into one of disgust, hatred, hell any emotion would’ve been welcome. “You fuckin’ with me right?” The apprehension in his voice was the result of not knowing if he could bear to hear the idea that something so heinous could plague you.

The wobble of your bottom lip was enough, Carmen’s eyes skated across your face landing on the three prominent features that had been added to your appearance; the tiny scar on your upper lip, the one between your brows, and the jagged raised one stretching the length of your jaw.

The breath in your throat hitched as his finger slowly traced the long scar, the touch sent shivers through you. Your eyes watched him as he watched you, finger deliberately taking in the pattern on your jaw, his hand unconsciously moved to cup your face in the way he liked, forefinger pressed into your hidden tattoo as his thumb began caressing the corner of your lips.

“What the fuck happened to you, Baby?”

The shower you just finished was much needed, Carmy volunteering to pick up different ingredients while you relaxed before the two of you began this search for the truth. He didn’t say it but you knew he needed some time to internalize the small piece of truth you told him, to rationalize just how much you had gone through in your time apart.

You could hear Carmen shuffling around in your kitchen as you stepped out of the bathroom, steam following you out. Grabbing your moisturizer you moved to sit on the edge of your bed, mind racing to figure out what you were even doing putting yourself in this situation.

These past three weeks without Carmen felt needed, you were thankful for the time apart to focus on yourself and your wellbeing. But it always felt like there was a piece of you missing, it felt like that every time the two of you parted ways. The difference was instead of spending the time apart worrying over Carmy every minute you had finally put yourself first, and began living for yourself just like Tina had advised all those years ago.

And while a part of you wanted to continue this childish charade of ignoring Carmy, only showing up at the restaurant when Richie assured you he wouldn’t be there; you couldn’t. It took too much energy to live your life around Carmen’s especially since the two of you were so much more involved with each other than you had been in a while. Even without Pete’s words of advice, you could see the toll it was taking on the people around you. Natalie was too scared to even mention her brother for fear you’d have a meltdown. Richie’s anger for your situation souring his relationship with Carmen. And Carmen himself, he who had become a haggard sunken-in version of himself, the time apart affected him the worst his patience nowhere to be seen from the few times Richie had offhandedly mentioned him in your presence.

The two of you had been in each other's lives for longer than you could remember and you didn’t want to lose that friendship over your pride. During your time away from Carmen, you had come to the decision that you would be fine if all that was fated to be between you two was a friendship.

More recently you had decided that maybe it was for the best, maybe the two of you were never meant for anything more, anything good. Maybe it was naive to think you deserved anything good with all the hurt your selfish choices caused. Maybe it was best not to take any time and attention away from your recovery. This friendship was just a whole bunch of fucking ‘maybes’ recently.

But one could say that ‘friendship’ went out the window when the two of you crossed that blurred line a year ago.

You paused as your hand reached for the old crew neck you’d usually sleep in, as much as you loved the garment you couldn’t allow yourself to give Carmen any false hope about what would come from this. Walking into your closet you quickly grabbed your oversized ‘The Beef’ crew neck, slipping it over your head before stepping into your sleep shorts and a pair of fuzzy socks.

Exiting your bedroom you stopped by your record player, buying yourself time before you’d have to face Carmen and all the truth that would be exposed in this one conversation alone. You flicked through your vinyl selection before picking your favorite one, needing something comforting for everything that was bound to transpire.

You entered your kitchen seeing Carmy’s back at your stove sent an ache through you. The man cooking in your kitchen was a vision you had more than once, it was almost right, the only thing missing was the small figure you imagined standing in a chair next to Carmy watching from over his shoulder.

“Smells delicious Carm,” you sent a tired smile his way as he looked over his shoulder at you, eyes falling just above his own, no courage left in you to take in the look he was giving you. “What did you end up cooking?” Carmen’s eyes were stuck to you, your words falling on deaf ears, you fidgeted in your spot, the insecurity of being judged by the one person you didn’t think you could handle it from, weighed heavy on you.

Carmen cleared his throat as he watched you sink into yourself. He hadn’t meant to make you feel any type of way with his stare, he was just having a hard time coming to terms with the fact that things had been so bad for you and he had no idea because of his selfish inclinations. “It’s uh Chicken Alfredo, I thought it was safest.”

The air in the kitchen was tense, neither of you knowing how to be around the other at this moment, and you hadn’t even gotten down to the harsh truth of everything yet. “Can you…uh what do you mean you’re sober? I-I know what it means jus-I,” you watched as Carmy closed his eyes, a huff escaping him as he couldn’t articulate what he wanted to say. “Baby, help me understand. Please?”

You could hear the thickness in Carmy’s voice, the two of you watching each other with matching glazed stares. You stood frozen for a minute, your fight or flight instincts kicking in and it took everything in you not to leave the conversation as it was. A sigh escaped you before you nodded your head and hopped to sit on the island, fingers picking at the stray threads on your shorts.

Carmy turned the fire on the stove down before turning to lean against the counter next to your stove, the two of you now facing each other. The distance between you felt like it stretched on for miles, and maybe it did, the two of you didn’t know each other like you once used to. You and Carmy weren’t the same teenagers who shared everything, even the smiles you shared at this point in life held a different meaning.

You never knew where to start this story, was it better to ease the person in, or was it better to just rip the band-aid off all at once? “Now that I’m better I don’t think any reason was good enough for what I did to myself…what I did to the people I love. But uh, Mikey’s death was definitely a catalyst for everything.” You looked up to see Carmy watching you intensely, arms crossed over his chest, you can’t remember a time you’d ever seen him look so serious.

“I was alone, and maybe that’s just an excuse. We…we just buried Mikey, and I was scared to believe he was really gone, it didn’t feel right. I didn’t want it to be true.” You sucked in a deep breath trying to gather your thoughts. “I stayed in Chicago for a long time after that, your mom…gosh she was a mess and I understood why her grief was valid, but I…I just knew Nat couldn’t, didn’t deserve to fix things alone, so I just kept extending my stay.” The small sigh Carmen breathed was lost as you settled more and more into your explanation.

“An-And Richie was doing his fucking best to keep The Beef open but I could tell it was taking a toll on him. Tiff had filed for divorce just months ago and then he was dealing with Mikey’s passing. And I think, I thought if I just helped everyone get better I wouldn’t need to grieve, because I was surrounded by all the people I loved, and their wellbeing mattered most to me.” Carmen’s eyes stayed on your figure allowing your words to settle into him, it hurt knowing how much slack you had to pick up because he couldn’t bring himself to face the music.

Quiet sniffles came from where you sat atop the island. “Carm, you weren’t there…and I promise I’m not blaming you for the decisions I made, none of that is on you. But I just wanted my best friend, and I just needed to know you were okay. And when you weren’t at the funeral my mind went to the worst thoughts first. But then I…I just showed up in New York and you acted like your world wasn’t ending and then I just felt selfish because how was it that your brother just died and I was the one acting like I’d lost the person I looked up to most.” Carmy could feel his chest tighten, your words becoming less and less easy to swallow the more you spoke.

“And for a moment it was like the world stopped screaming like all I needed was your presence to assure me that everything would be okay,” a small sad smile rose to your lips as you thought about your time spent with Carmy in New York. “It-it was blissful and everything I wanted but I knew it was ending, we both knew it was ending you didn’t see a future with me.” You had to stop yourself, a sob sure to be ripped out if you didn’t give yourself a minute, “And I accepted your decision, it was for the best.”

You hugged your knees to your chest, barely beginning to scratch the surface of the worst of what you’d done. The new position provided you the comfort and protection you felt you needed. “I got back to Chicago, and I was only supposed to be here for a few more weeks but then…then I-I got sick and Rich-.” You clasped your hands over your mouth unsure if you could lay all your indiscretions on Carmy at once, unsure if you could mentally handle the toll the two confessions you desperately needed to make would take on you.

Rough palms enclosed your cheeks, moving your head so that you were face to face with Carmy. You could see the unshed tears in his doe-blue eyes, but other than that he didn’t seem to be affected. “Take your time, yeah?” He nodded his head waiting for you to nod along with him so you knew it was okay. The left side of his lips ticked up in a half smile, you let him lean in and place a delicate kiss on your forehead before he moved out of your space. “I’m here okay, I’ll listen for as long as you let me.”

Carmen was making this harder than it needed to be, how could you justify telling him one secret and not the other when he was being so understanding? Carmy made to move back to his original position, your grip on his hand stopping him, a quiet sigh escaping his lips at how fragile you looked. “Lemme turn off the stove okay?” You reluctantly let go of his hand, scared that at the loss of contact, he would take his chance to flee from you.

You watched as he turned the stove off, moving the food he had been cooking to the back burners, you felt bad that he had cooked for the two of you and neither of you would be enjoying it. He moved around the kitchen fear spiking in you as you thought for sure he was going to leave, to wipe his hands of you. He returned to you with a glass of water that he delicately placed in your hands before replacing your legs to their original position and taking his spot between them. Carmy’s finger tapped the glass in your hands “Drink up.” A small nod was your only response as you did as told you before setting the glass down beside you.

Carmy returned his hand to your grasp nodding to let you know he was ready to continue if you were, you took one last deep breath mind made up on how you would handle the rest of this conversation. “He uh Richie, he found me in the walk-in. You know that moment when you know something is wrong but you don’t know how you know. It was kind of like that, like Richie and I both knew I had done something wrong and Carmy,” your voice quivered as your eyes met his, the tears falling at a faster pace as he looked at you so earnestly, hanging onto every word you said. “I’m so sorry.”

Carmen’s brows furrowed, eyes widening as you collapsed against him incoherent apologies addressed to him spewing from your lips. His head came to rest atop of yours as you shoved your face into his chest your words turned to messy babbling as you tried to choke out words through your sobs. For all his social ineptitude Carmy knew there was something you weren’t telling him, something you weren’t being entirely honest about, and he wasn’t sure how it tied into your sobriety. But the way you were apologizing to him made him feel like he was partly responsible.

Your cries were beginning to grow in volume and Carmy was at a loss for what to do. He’d seen you cry before, hell he’d caused most of it but he couldn’t recognize you at this moment. The sobs that escaped you were echoing through the quietude of your house, you had never been an audible crier, usually a few tears escaping your eyes were the most Carmen had gotten. But these cries wracked your entire body, Carmy could feel them rattling his rib cage each sob breaking his exterior down more and more.

He wrapped his arms around you letting your tears soak his shirt, his tears beginning to run down his cheeks. The grip he had on you tightened ever so slightly as you sobbed your throat raw. Carmen needed to know what could’ve caused this reaction, he needed to know what you could ever have to apologize to him for. He felt you moving to get out of his grip, but he held you there as his tears dripped into the crown of your head, quickly wiping his eyes before he pulled back from you allowing you a fresh breath of oxygen.

“Carmy?” Your voice was scratchy as you played with his fingers avoiding any form of eye contact, you raised his knuckles to your lips kissing the ‘ou’ on his middle and ring finger. “Could you hold me for a little bit?” You raised your head to Carmy’s doing your best to send him a reassuring smile, to let him know everything would be okay.

Carmen frowned, he knew that smile anywhere. Even when you were so obviously going through something he couldn’t quite yet understand you would put his feelings before your own. He let out an exasperated sigh your need to put others well being before your own a habit he swore to himself he’d break.

The hand you kissed raised to your face, a light grip on your chin as his thumb caressed the space beneath your lower lip. Carmy leaned forward placing a soft lingering kiss on the scar between your eyebrows, “Let’s take a break yeah?” Carmy watched your body deflate.

He took a step back as you hopped off of the island, the two of you moving to your L-shaped couch. Carmy laid down opening his arms to hold you like the two of you had done hundreds of times while growing up. He knew the gesture would pull a smile out of you, a soft chuckle leaving him as you easily snuggled into him. Your face reverting to its home in his chest, his chin once again resting against the top of your head.

The light atmosphere was short-lived as you relaxed into Carmy, all of your words finally beginning to sink into him. He was happy for the intermission the time would help him to understand what you had told him thus far, to figure out how he could ever make up for the way he constantly held the door open and let you walk out of his life. The way he essentially cut you out of his life because he was afraid to admit to himself that what he felt for you for all these years wasn’t just lust and longing, but love.

Carmy’s fingers had been gently rubbing your scalp for the past forty-five minutes, the position the two of you were in reminiscent of a scene from New York when you visited. Now it was being translated in your own home, Carmy was laying on the couch one arm settled behind his head to prop it up, looking down on you to make sure you were okay. You were settled between his legs, your upper body pressed into his stomach as your head rested on his sternum.

“Baby?” Carmy did his best to whisper, not wanting to disturb you in case you had fallen asleep.

“Hmm?” Your response was so quiet it was easy to miss, Carmy was unsure if you had let out a quiet hum or if you were making noises in your sleep.

He stopped his ministrations on your scalp, his lips ticking up at the soft whine you let out “You asleep?” The question was followed by his fingertips resuming their massage.

“No, your heartbeat is just soothing.” You snuggled your face deeper into Carmen’s stomach, the movement raising goosebumps on his exposed arms. “Carm?” Your quiet voice drew his attention the apprehension clear on his features as he prepared himself for the words soon to leave your mouth. “There’s something that I need to tell you…something that you deserve to know. B-but I don’t think I can do it tonight. And I know that’s not fair to you but I think for my own sake I need to be in a better space mentally.” You shuffled around again turning to lie facedown, one of your cheeks rested against Carmy’s stomach so you could comfortably look up at him.

The confusion in his eyes was evident, whatever it was you couldn’t tell him was making him beyond nervous. It was hard because you had never kept a secret from him unless you absolutely needed to, and when you did it was never for anything more serious than a gift you were getting for him. But he knew he couldn’t force whatever truth you had to tell out of you, a part of him felt a bit relaxed, not knowing how much bad news he could take in the span of one night.

Carmy’s hand reached out palming the side of your face, thumb grazing back and forth in the space just beneath your eye, “You can share it with me when you’re ready m’kay? I’ll wait as long as you need me to.” He pushed a stray piece of hair behind your ear, watching as your eyes closed, a slight grimace on your face as you leaned into his palm more.

“You’re going to hate me, Carmen.” The words left your mouth with so much conviction all Carmy could do was frown, the idea of ever hating you would have never crossed his mind. He wanted to reassure you but lost his chance as you abruptly sat up, the movement caused him to sit up as well, the two of you only inches apart now facing each other. You forced a smile as your side relaxed on the couch, head propped against it as your eyes wandered around Carmy’s features. “Let’s just get through tonight and then we’ll worry about everything else.” You were exhausted. Carmy could tell by the way your blinking slowed, he wanted you to stop, to get some sleep, to put your needs before whatever made you feel like you owed him any explanation.

“Bab-,”

“I was in the hospital for a bit because I…I was sick. But after they discharged me I had been gone from my own life for so long I was so close to not having anything to return to. So I came home and forced the past month into a literal box in my closet, pretended none of it happened.” You were running on fumes at this point, with no regard for whether Carmy was even still listening to you, just this force within you driving you to finish the story.

“There was uh one thing that I couldn’t force myself to get rid of-,”

“The voicemail.” Your eyes shot to Carmy's, his silence easily making you forget he was even still here, that you were recounting these memories for a reason. You nodded eyes unfocused as you looked past him, would there ever be a time you could remember that part of your life without flinching every time you thought about it?

“It started slow, I was just getting back into the swing of things remembering what it was like to be alone after being in Chicago surrounded by people who actually cared about me. I would go out with my co-workers after a shift, drink just enough that I could get myself home, but not enough for anyone to worry about me.” A sardonic laugh left your lips, you were sure nobody would care about you, and you hardly had any strong ties to the West Coast.

“It helped…until it didn’t until I was drinking so much it was almost like my body was immune to the effects. But who needs their liver am I right?” The pinch to your thigh jolted you. Carmy wasn’t welcoming your self-deprecating jokes.

You raised your hands in defense, a humorless chuckle leaving you. “If I’m being honest, I don’t even remember getting that first prescription…not even the ones after it.”

“Wait,” Carmy moved so his feet were firmly planted on the floor, legs spread as he rested his elbows on his thighs. “What the fuck does a prescription have to do with this? Baby?” Carmy wasn’t stupid, he didn’t need you to spell it out for him but the sliver of hope in him was dwindling as the minutes of silence continued to tick by.

You shrugged, moving to sit crisscross applesauce staring blankly at Carmy’s side profile, one of his legs bouncing up and down. “You know they really should make those warnings bigger. About not mixing drugs and alcohol, the font is so tiny how cou-,”

“Stop!” You didn’t even flinch at the loud volume of Carmy’s voice, eyes following his figure as he flew up from the couch. The man was now pacing in front of you, one hand settled on his hip as the other furiously swiped across his forehead. “Why do you…do you…fuck!” The vein on his neck protruded with his frustration. “How do you just sit there and make fucking jokes about this shit Baby! Why the fuck is any of this funny to you?”

The urge to defend yourself was surging through you, in a way you knew Carmy’s reaction was valid. But it wasn’t like there was a handbook on the proper way to deal with your trauma, and you wouldn’t allow him to tell you right from wrong.

“What the fuck do you want from me, Carmen! I did it okay! I drank and I took the fucking drugs and when that shit stopped working on its own I thought hmm why the fuck not mix them because what the fuck could possibly be worse than living. In some fucked up way did I think it would help me understand Mikey? Maybe. It’s not like I fucking planned this shit! I didn’t plan to become addicted okay, that wasn’t supposed to happen I had a system…I had a fucking system.” It was like everything was becoming clearer the moment those last words left your mouth, you may not have planned the beginning, but as you thought back to what could’ve been your last moments you were almost certain some still sane part of you knew what you were doing.

Soft laughter left your lips as the pieces were starting to fit together in your head, the sound only growing in volume as you realized just how fucked up you were. Your eyes were unfocused as your gaze flew to Carmy, the whisper of ‘Baby’ lost in your internal revelation.

“I threw myself through that glass door, not on purpose I can’t even remember why the fuck I wanted to get outside so bad. But I-I remember swallowing those two extra pills and thinking what the fucks gonna happen to me huh, I’ve lasted this long.” Carmen couldn’t recognize you, the tears had started again but he was certain you couldn’t even tell, you looked possessed, your eyes flashing all around the room a wicked smile painted your lips as you spoke to no one in particular.

“Barely made it past the threshold before my body gave out, I wish I could remember, even if only for a second. What it felt like to have your body want something more than your brain did. But you know what the fuck happened Carmen?” Your eyes finally shot to his, you looked like a skittish animal ready to fight Carmy to the death if he encroached on your territory.

A sardonic laugh left your lips, your tongue swiping across them, the saltiness of your tears a shock to you. “I woke up and there Natalie was, right beside me. And you know my first thought wasn’t what happened to me or-or what the hell is Nat even doing here? I didn’t even pay her any attention the whole first two hours, and you wanna know what I was thinking Carmen?”

“Don’t.” The plea escaped his lips in a whisper your heart clenched at how desolate he looked.

“I laid in that hospital bed, and I looked at those stupid fucking fluorescent lights and I thought; Mikey got it right the first time, why couldn’t I.”

Carmen felt numb, like his whole body had been submerged in an ice bath and no matter how hard he fought to get out, it was like his body and mind were on two different wavelengths. He’d seen that stare before, in the eyes of his brother, the same way Mikey looked at Lee at Christmas dinner all those years ago was the same way you were looking at him now in your living room.

He wasn’t sure if there was a proper reaction to the truth you had just dropped. Mikey was dead, that made things easier, but here you were alive and well from what he could tell and he would have his time to mend things with you if that’s what he wanted. But he wasn’t sure he could stand in such proximity as you at that moment, wasn’t sure if he could even look at you. You had been the second closest person to Mikey, presumably knew he was doing drugs, knew he was spiraling out of control, and followed right after him.

Was there anything Carmy could have done to alter your path? Maybe if he had stayed by your side that night after Christmas you wouldn’t be standing here now talking to him about how badly you wanted to end it all.

Carmy drew in a sharp breath a small sob following it as he tried to control his emotions, he began taking small steps in your direction not sure of what he was going to do, but needing you to know his silence wasn’t because he was disgusted or disappointed in you; but in himself. How easy it would’ve been to keep in contact with you after high school graduation, how easy it would’ve been to just let himself love you and take care of you, be there for you. And as much as he wanted to believe you knowing how he felt would’ve changed much, he knew it was naïve, addiction was an illness and even if Carmen had fought harder to keep you in his life there’s no promise that he wouldn’t have been the one to find you floating in the space between life and death.

He slowly reached out to you, hands carefully grasping your cheeks in his eyes, committing your face to memory, mind racing with all the times he took being able to see it daily for granted. “Ba-baby, tell me you don’t mean that,” he waited, eyes rapidly flicking back and forth from yours. His grip on your face was just loose enough for you to send him the saddest smile he’d ever had the chance to see, “Please?” The broken whisper floated between the two of you before your head softly nodded up and down to confirm that indeed he was almost forced to live without you.

And this time it wasn’t his choice.

Carmy sat on the floor in front of your couch, back resting against it, head tipped back to rest on the cushion face pointed toward the ceiling. All he could hear were the soft breaths escaping you and his thudding heart in his ears. It took a while before you had finally calmed down, Carmy held you in his arms on the floor as the two of you cried. Your sounds lashing against his heart over and over again. He was exhausted, more than he usually was, the night far from what he hoped it would be. He was so overwhelmed by all that you had been willing to reveal to him, that the instinct to do something with his hands as you slept took over, the man dutifully cleaned your kitchen and stored the uneaten food away for you to eat at a later date.

And now here he was, back at your side finally coming to terms with everything he learned. Carmy felt like a fool he had prided himself on his friendship with you, always made it a big deal that you were his friend first, his friend by choice. But it had been almost 10 years since he decided to shut you out of his life with no reason, no explanation why and it was selfish of him. Selfish that he had so blindly pushed you away without a thought to how it would make you feel. Selfish of him to always expect your acceptance and open arms when it was convenient for him to re-enter your life.

He let out a small sigh raising his head from its position on the couch, eyes latching onto the dated picture atop your mantle, your cheesy smile staring back at him as Richie and Mikey surrounded you. His eyes poured over the picture, taking in how happy the three of you looked, and how simple everything was when the two of you were teenagers. A quiet humorless laugh escaped his lips as he reminisced, he was lying to himself if he thought your time as teens was simple, but compared to the lives the two of you were leading it sure as hell did feel that way.

Carmy allowed himself a moment longer to enjoy the happiness the picture exuded. He gave it one last glance before he adjusted his position on the floor, turning slightly so his side was leaned into the couch, eyes landing on your face as you slept. It felt like his heart was constantly breaking whenever he looked at your face, it was evident you’d been crying, the puffiness of your eyes easily giving it away. He reached his hand out, hesitating for just a second before he pushed the hair out of your face palm resting on your cheek as he began to softly stroke in back and forth. Since the first time he saw you this year, this was the most peaceful you had looked, he was glad that sleep had been able to bring you that sense of tranquility, but he wanted that for you always, to feel at peace on any given day and as he watched you back moving up and down to signify the breaths your were taking, he promised himself he’d provide that for you; even if it was only as friends.

“What am I gonna do with you, Baby?” The hoarse words left him in a sigh, a small smile making its way to his lips as he watched your nose scrunch up at the sound of his voice, eyelids slightly twitching.

He watched as you turned to lay on your side, lips brushing across his pulse point a small kiss now decorated his veins. “Still be my best friend?” Carmy laughed at your small voice taking up the space between the two of you. Your eyes slowly fluttered open, thankful that Carmy had figured out how to dim the lights in your living room. “Do you remember that promise we made the summer before seventh grade?” Your voice was scratchy from all the sobbing and borderline screaming from earlier.

Carmen nodded his head, a small smile raised on his lips, hand moving from your cheek to cup the back of your neck. “Of course, I do,” the smile only lasted for so long as he was forced to remember a promise he broke with no regard. “That we’d be best friends no matter what, even though we didn’t want each other’s cooties.” Carmy was happy to hear the sound of your melodious laughter, he spent so much time listening to your broken cries he was afraid he’d never know anything else.

“I’m sorry Carmen, I…I didn’t mean to blow up on you. I think telling you about my overdose…it helped me come to terms with it myself.” Your eyes were lidded, all the crying made them feel heavy, if Carmy wasn’t here in front of you right now you were sure you would’ve been dead asleep.

A small content sigh escaped you as Carmy’s thumb ran back and forth across the side of your neck, “You have nothing to apologize for we-I know I haven’t been a great friend to you these past years. And for that I’m sorry. I wish…I wish I could explain to you why I pushed you away but Baby,” Carmy paused heart thudding in his chest, the words were there, maybe not in the way one would expect but it was you; you would know what he meant even if he was speaking in another language.

“I uh I can’t even explain it to myself. But..I would like for us to be friends again if you’ll have me?” Carmy sent a tight-lipped smile your way, he couldn’t do it. He felt selfish for even thinking now was the time to propose the initial idea in his mind. Maybe it was an excuse, maybe not, but he didn’t think it would be fair to put you in that position. You had just told him such a harrowing truth about yourself and if his first instinct after hearing such was to ask to be more than friends it would feel insincere. Carmy wasn’t even sure you would want a relationship with him, you were sober, and recovering and Carmy wouldn’t allow himself to mess that up for you with his presence having been such a soul-sucking and negative thing in your life these past few years.

“I think that’s just what I need right now…a friend.” It was silent for a moment between the two of you, Carmy had prepared himself for the worst on the drive over, and although he could feel a lump forming in his throat and the ache in his chest, he forced a small smile on his lips upon hearing your words. “You kept it on there?” His eyes found yours confusion marring both of your features, at his silence your hand reached out delicately tracing the pendant settled against his signature white shirt.

Of all the times you’d seen Carmy you knew he still wore his chain, it was a part of him. You had caught glimpses of the gold peeking out from his shirt, but you would have never thought he wore the pendant you’d impulsively bought before leaving New York. You remember regretting having left the newly added accessory on his chain when you left his apartment, sure it made you seem like some desperate lover who had never even actually been a lover, just some girl too naive to see all the signs she was being given.

Your eyes flicked between Carmy’s waiting for his response, his cheeks tinting pink the longer you looked at him for an answer. The hand that wasn’t settled against your skin reached up to rub at the back of his neck. “I nev-I… uh never leave home without it.” The admission made your skin tingle, Carmy’s finger subconsciously tracing the lone letter you carried everywhere with you. “It uh, reminds me of you…of us.”

“There were forget-me-nots in the bouquet Willie made me,” you sent Carmy a small smile, although temporary, the sight of that bouquet filled you with happiness the short time you did spend with it. “Also I know you didn’t have shit to do with the flowers Willie put in that bouquet.” Carmy let out a small laugh face warming at the memory of old man Willie’s meddling.

Your thumb on the pendant began tracing the engraved letter, “This was like my form of a forget me not, something that was permanent, would never wilt with time…I just wanted you to have something to remember me by.” Carmen watched your lips stretch into a small smile, he knew what your words meant, but after learning about all you’d gone through it felt like your final words had a double meaning like if things had gone as you wished them to, this would be the only piece he had left of you.

A part of you felt shy sharing the reasoning behind gifting Carmy the pendant, the two of you were barely friends as it was and the flowers had been so personal to you, that you weren’t sure you wanted to let Carmy into that piece of your world even though he played a huge part in it without even knowing.

“Is that what they signify? Remembrance?” Carmen’s thumb ran back and forth across the scar on your jaw, tapping it twice to pull your attention to his.

You gave the pendant one last longing look, dropping it before your eyes finally locked on his, “Something like that.” You shrugged having to swallow the urge to confide in Carmen one last time tonight.

The two of you stayed like that with Carmy’s hand holding onto the side of your face, thumb trying to imprint the jaggedness of your scar to its memory. Your eyes became heavier the longer Carmy delicately stroked your face. The man made no move to wake you as you slowly began drifting back into the world of dreams, the same look of peacefulness he saw earlier had easily returned, the ghost of your past so evidently marked into your skin in the shape of your scars. He felt like he was able to finally release the breath he’d been holding in, his eyes skated across your face; a face he always considered to be a work of art, one he could never perfectly capture on paper.

As he watched you sleep Carmen came to terms with exactly what was left between the two of you now. For all intents and purposes the two of you were friends again, or at least on friendly terms, and as much as he tried to convince himself he would be happy to keep you in his life in whatever capacity you allowed; he knew that was a lie. But the only person he could really lay blame on was himself, you had been ready and waiting for him before he even realized he loved you and now that he was finally ready to take that next step with you there was no longer space in your heart for him.

Carmen watched you for a moment longer, thumb lingering against your scar before he finally had enough restraint to pull himself away. There was a part of him that would’ve stayed planted in that spot all night just to watch over you, make sure the moment he turned his back you wouldn’t suddenly disappear never to be gazed upon by him again. He quietly stood up, careful not to make too much noise and wake you, hand grabbing the blanket lying atop the head of your couch before he gently draped it across you.

He lingered in front of you every fiber in his body, willing him to stay there by your side, to be there when you woke up. But moments like that were no longer his to take; they never had been. Carmy let out a sorrowful sigh before he bent down to your level placing a soft kiss full of love and longing to the indentation between your eyebrows. What could have been, what never was would always stick with him but he would set his wants and needs to the side, and he would appreciate having another moment with you still in his life.

The two of you had seemed to come to an understanding now, and that’s all he could ask for. You said you needed a friend and that’s what he’d be; your needs were his needs.

a/n: in honor of turning twenty-three i present thee with the gift of suffering 🤪, anyway not sure how i feel about this chapter but we shall see. also i know it seems like everything between baby and carmy may have been resolved rather quick, but i feel like everything is very not obviously resolved. happy readings! 🤍

also: huge shoutout to @mr-robot-x for her impeccable song recs when it comes to this fic and the losers i write about. asleep by the smith’s heavily inspired this chapter. (which you would all know if you took my song inspo seriously 😐) just kidding but seriously it genuinely helped me get through this chapter! 🤍

#carmen berzatto x reader #carmy berzatto x reader #the bear x reader #the bear fic #carmen berzatto x you #carmen berzatto angst #carmy x you #carmy the bear #carmy x reader #all i ever knew only you ₊‧°𐐪♡𐑂°‧₊

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solecize · 5 months

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ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐅𝐀𝐑𝐌𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐒𝐄 | 𝐣𝐮𝐧𝐠𝐤𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐒𝐔𝐌𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐘. every summer on your grandpa's farm was real-life magic to your younger self, who left a piece of her heart in amber valley when the years went on and the town became nothing but a faint childhood memory. soon enough, you become rocked by his death and realize the dead end in your bustling city world. this leads to you making an abrupt decision. despite knowing nothing but designer purses and the corporate ladder, you uproot your entire life to take over your grandfather's old farm in the town you were desperately trying to remember - alongside a familiar face from your youth that permanently finds his way into your heart. 𝐏𝐀𝐈𝐑𝐈𝐍𝐆: jungkook/reader 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. inspired heavily by stardew valley, friends to lovers, childhood friends, cowboy jungkook, small town alternate universe, slice of life, grief, growing up, mutual pining, jungkook as a parental figure 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓. 9k 𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒. i don't even know what to say. i normally don't talk a lot and i'm mostly very unserious, but this is the last chapter of the farmouse and honestly, i'm super emotional about it. i'm really grateful for those of you who took the time to read and support this fic, every kind word has meant everything to me. i wrote this fic during a tough time when i needed warmth and joy, so i hope that this fic was able to bring even just a little bit of that for you while reading. (the writing of this chapter was quite literally delayed because my three year relationship ended midway through lol) this was also my first piece of writing in years and it's safe to say that i was able to fall in love with writing again because of this fic, so it'll always hold a special place in my heart. thank you times a hundred again <3

part ten: the midsummer festivalㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ previous. epilogue. masterlist

xxiv. the midsummer festival

squeezing through bodies in the stands, it took all of your focus to not drop the popcorn and drinks wedged in your arms. you should have asked someone to come with you, but you were in such a rush, not wanting to miss a thing. finally, you made it to your seat, plopping yourself in between jiwon and yoongi, and your eyes remained fixed on the lawn the entire time.

amber valley had the most beautiful days you’d ever laid eyes on and today was no exception. you weren’t sure if it was because of the natural charm in the sleepy town or a biased sense of nostalgia towards the countryside that you carried. the midsummer festival was held at the peak of the season, where humidity was as thick as honey and not a single cloud escaped being casted away from the cerulean of the sky. you had no choice but to throw on a tank top and shorts because anything else would feel like suffocation.

“i didn’t miss anything, did i?” you didn’t mean to scream, but there was no other way for your voice to beat the crowd amongst yourselves.

jiwon shook her head, her hair splaying from underneath the baseball hat that she so obviously stole from her brother. “no!”

the show-jumping competition was one of the newest additions to the fair and it proved to be one of the most popular. not only did the majority of the town come out to observe, but the fair also drew in an impressive number of visitors from elsewhere - some of which attended the fair specifically to watch the show-jumping.

“LETS GO KOOKIE!” screamed hoseok at the top of his lungs, holding up a customized poster board with a printed picture of jungkook and leo, depicting the words ‘go jungkook!’

yoongi groaned, “can you sit down? they haven’t even finished setting up for the jump-off yet.”

at this point in the competition, it was down to jungkook and another competitor, a man a few years younger named yesung. up until now, they both achieved the same score after the round performance and both cleared nearly perfect showings. the jump-off was a shortened course with tighter turns and higher jumps, intended to break the tie and determine the winner.

the crowd began cheering when jungkook and yesung reappeared, standing and waiting for instructions. you found jungkook adorable in his outfit, a dark green show jacket and breeches that emphasized his leg muscles. you had to catch yourself from staring too hard at his thighs because it seemed like yoongi caught you, waving a hand in front of your face with a snicker. you only glared at him.

it was mayor kim with the microphone, explaining the rules to the crowd. “and, to decide the order for performance, we have conducted a random draw. as a result, we will see. . .choi yesung go first!” he proclaimed, eliciting another round of cheers from the crowd.

from where you stood, you noticed jungkook naturally relax his shoulders. for that, you also breathed out a sigh of relief. he stepped away to where leo was, making way for yesung to complete his round.

when it was time to begin, everyone rose to their feet. from what you saw and heard of yesung, he was also a well-seasoned equestrian. he wasn’t as decorated as jungkook, but he had the advantage of winning the last show-jumping competition in the spring. you didn’t realize jungkook was out for vengeance, but he was indeed looking to reclaim his name.

every fraction of a second mattered in the jump-off round and so, your eyes were glued. the pressure was on and you watched yesung charge ahead. he decided to take some risky turns, likely to shave off time. the first one was executed perfectly and you nearly jumped at the second, challenging turn. it was not calculated well, as it resulted in a rail down at the penultimate fence.

“oh shit!” one of the boys yelped, watching the unfortunate accident.

yeung finished the course at a respectable, but flawed time. it was shame, since his speed and ability could have easily secured a victory. he knew it, too, judging by the disappointment in his eyes. you almost felt bad for him, if it wasn’t jungkook off to the side and gearing up for his turn.

now, it was jiwon screaming as loud as she could. “YOU CAN DO IT!” she screeched, cheering for her brother and you joined in.

already mounted on leo, jungkook looked up, right at your section. he gave a small wave and you all went wild - even mrs. oh, who brought her own sign to cheer him on. you guys weren’t the only ones, though, as it seemed that jungkook was a favourite amongst fans.

“jeon jungkook, jeon jungkook, jeon jungkook,” chanted the boys and you weren’t sure who started it, but you also began chanting, too.

he readied himself and at the sound of the horn, blasted off. the tensions were thicker, with the stakes at hand and the pressure on a seasoned competitor looking to re-establish himself. you couldn’t imagine the weight of the crowd under the beating of the july sun, considering the heat made you already down your water bottle by the first hour of the competition and were in half the clothing jungkook was in. between you and jiwon was a shared usb handheld fan, as the two of you silently took turns holding it - eyes too glued to the show and shouting jungkook’s name.

he was fast and sharp, yet every movement of his was so well thought out. at full force was a risky approach, but was so far bearing perfect results. you felt your heartbeat getting louder and louder, making your head pound with adrenaline. the last few seconds, the world became quiet and all you could focus on was jungkook. then, the eruption snapped you back into reality.

“LET’S GOOO!”

if someone was somehow not on their feet watching the final round of the show, they certainly were now, as jungkook zoomed to the end with no flaws and an incredible time. even you had to blink a few times, trying to see the time recorded clearly and realize your eyes were not deceiving you.

“there’s no way that’s not a record!” you heard jimin exclaim and you didn’t doubt him.

there was a hushed murmur over the crowd, as mayor kim stepped to the podium once more. tapping the microphone a few times, you and the rest of the crowd winced at the feedback that came with it. then, mayor kim spoke.

“ladies and gentlemen. . .” he begun, loud and clear.

jungkook was still catching his breath to the side, having yet to even take off his helmet. all eyes were peeled on mayor kim, as he took an extra pause for dramatics. if you weren’t also about to jump right out from your skin, you’d roll your eyes.

“. . we have a winner AND a record setting time. jeon jungkook, young man, please join me on this stage.”

no longer holding your breath, you roared along with your friends and the earth practically rumbled. jungkook’s smile was as bright as the day, as he whooped in response and raised his fist in the air. you were filled with nothing but joy.

before he stepped up onto the stage, jungkook displayed his integrity by walking towards yesung and enthusiastically shake the other man’s hand. yesung didn’t look too upset, more bewildered at the quality of performance that his opponent put on. they exchanged words, smiles reaching their eyes.

“that’s my brother!” screamed jiwon, as if no one knew the obvious.

jungkook then took mayor kim’s hand in one and attempted to balance his new, golden trophy with the other arm. in a split second, your friends, jiwon, and the oh family began filing out of the stands and you could hear hoseok yelling for you to follow. you widened your eyes, shuffling out of your seat as quickly as possible.

of course, jiwon was the fastest and made it to the lawn first. she squealed, as jungkook embraced her in a hug and spun her around. the cheers didn’t falter and only grew when namjoon and taehyung momentarily put jungkook on their shoulders.

you trailed behind everyone, nearly stumbling on your way down. you couldn’t see much, tiptoeing as far as you could. the chatter was still loud, but then the small crowd parted as you heard jungkook call out. it was your name. he was calling for you to come to the front.

“oooooh,” someone said, but you ignored it.

there was no doubt in your mind that your cheeks were a cherry red, but you refused to look anyone in the eye - even jungkook. you and your friends gathered around the podium with jungkook, as the event photographer asked you to move closer for a picture. everyone made way for you, as jungkook gestured for you to be the one on his right side, while jiwon and mrs. oh were on his left.

“congratulations,” you finally said, straining for your voice to be heard over the cheers. you still did not meet his eyes, finding yourself in a kind of shyness that was unknown to your normally headstrong personality.

that was something that came natural to jungkook, having an innate ability to bring out parts of you that you didn’t even know existed. before moving back to amber valley, you walked around with your chin up, thinking that you knew everything you needed to know.

now, at 25 years old, you knew harvesting soybeans and playing cards at the local pub with your new friends. you knew the smell of the ocean in the sweltering summer and you knew riding horses in sunflower fields at sundown. looking at jungkook, you knew what it was like to be slowly, but surely, swept off your feet. the realization creeped up on you, a sneaky little thing.

namjoon was the one holding onto leo, as your group huddled together for the picture. you instinctively hugged into jungkook’s touch, holding them in front of the camera.

jungkook spoke, right into your ear. “i’m so glad i was able to have this moment with you.”

that made you finally look up at his eyes and in that moment, a flash went off. this is when you also snapped out of your daze and despite his stare unwavering, you turned back to the photographer.

“oh, maybe we should take another -” you started, knowing that neither you or jungkook were looking in the camera, but he waved you off.

“no, no! this picture came out perfect,” the photographer winked at you and asked for everyone to disperse, before you could argue. something told you that you were going to see a picture of you and jungkook gazing into each other’s eyes on the front cover of the local newspaper.

he proceeded to take a few more solo pictures of jungkook with leo, followed by some shots with the mayor. jungkook was supposed to be kept busy, but he continued sneaking glances your way.

it was mrs. oh who gently tapped your shoulder. “now’s the time, honey. come to the store quick before he notices.”

beside her, sangwoo rolled his eyes. “he’s going to notice, he hasn’t taken his eyes off of her.”

regardless, you scrambled to follow behind mrs. oh. you weaved through the crowd, who all wanted to take a look at their champion in disbelief of the amazing time jungkook scored. the show began relatively early in the day, too, so the streets were only now becoming more and more full with the midsummer festival in full swing.

the roads were blocked off for pedestrian access only, as the fair was one of the busiest times of the year for amber valley. today was a day that drew crowds from outside of town, as the festival was an adored regional celebration and served as a tourist destination. you wouldn’t be surprised if you were told that the midsummer festival attracted the highest visitors of any other day in the year for the town.

carnival games, market booths and amusement rides were already set up since the morning and it was already getting tiresome to navigate through the festival goers. but, of course, you were trailing behind the force that was mrs. oh, who made way with ease with her commanding voice.

“time to get to work,” she sighed, pulling out a key from her pocket upon reaching the general store.

you said, “it’s a shame you can’t enjoy the festivities, mrs. oh.”

“oh, i don’t mind. i’ve lived in this town all my life, i’ve been here, there and everywhere when it comes to the fair,” she mused, unlocking the front door for the two of you. “business is business, the traffic the store will get is more important.”

a cool blanket enveloped your skin once you stepped in and you were never more grateful for the invention of air conditioning in your life. she was right, though, as you noticed some people nearby the store and already eyeing it.

“most businesses are closed today, but not us!” mrs. oh smiled, as she turned the sign by the window from ‘closed’ to ‘open.’

this is how you knew how much jungkook truly meant to mrs. oh. “jungkook is real lucky for you to open late just to watch him,” you said, examining the front counter and spotting a pair of jungkook’s work gloves.

“the store opens late every time he has a competition. sangwoo adores him and that young man and jiwon are family to us,” mrs. oh mused, seemingly lost in thought, before blinking back into the moment. “ah, don’t mind me. i almost forgot why you’re here, sweetie - the flowers are in the back room!”

you thanked mrs. oh, following the direction that she pointed towards. jimin called you corny for getting jungkook flowers for your first official date, but you thought it was fitting, given the competition. it was even better with the results of the show and you could only hope that jungkook liked the ones you picked out. you figured that men deserve to get a nice bouquet of flowers at least once, too.

the bundle of fresh sunflowers were actually your favourites, but that wasn’t important. you grabbed them from the backroom fridge, wrapped in cellophane and yellow paper. this was when you felt your phone vibrate in your pocket and your eyes widened, hoping it wasn’t jungkook just yet.

unfortunately, your hopes disappeared, but the text still put a smile on your face - just because it was him at the end of the day.

are you at the store? i saw you and mrs. oh lol i can be there in a few minutes.

you replied yes and came out to wait. the store already had its first customers within a few minutes of opening and mrs. oh was ringing them out. she met your eyes and winked, mouthing some encouraging words to you.

with the same smile on your lips, you mouthed a ‘thank you’ to her.

although you would have loved to loiter inside the store for the air conditioning, you were already bashful enough from everyone watching you and jungkook at the show and you would have rather met jungkook away from mrs. oh’s nosiness. she was lovely, but she appeared to be one of your and jungkook’s biggest fans and you didn’t want to act awkward, knowing that you were being watched.

the bouquet was hidden behind your back, as you patiently waited outdoors. you didn’t know what to expect out of your day, but the longer you waited for jungkook, you grew more and more nervous. it was odd, knowing that the anxiety pooling at the bottom of your stomach was because of your childhood best friend.

the thoughts were promptly swept away when you caught sight of jungkook approaching you. he changed clothes from his riding gear, sans his favourite dirty boots that remained on his feet, and was now wearing a plain white t-shirt and denim jeans. you always had to take a moment to admire the definition of his muscles and his sharp gaze that left you breathless, but you were distracted this time by the bundle of golden flowers in his grasp.

jungkook looked a little bit concerned at your expression, as you were stifling a laugh. you almost felt bad, but the sight was too funny for you to ignore.

“hey - uh, what?” he furrowed his eyebrows at you.

you revealed the identical bouquet from behind your laugh and he, too, looked dumbfounded. the wrapping and greenery differed from one another, but it was clear that the two of you picked your flowers from the same field by your houses. it was the same field the two of you rode on the past summer and played in as kids.

“congratulations again for first place,” was all you could manage to say, offering your flowers towards him.

jungkook finally broke out into a chuckle, shaking his head. “thank you. congratulations, for uh. . “

“for what? being jeon jungkook’s date to the fair?” you chided, as you took his flowers in your hands.

“shut up. am i not original or something?” jungkook asked. “like, come on, we got each other the same thing. i’m already failing at this date thing, aren’t i?” he joked.

you rolled your eyes and flicked his arms. “it’s been, like, five seconds.”

“ow!”

“we’re not just on a date today, jungkook. we’re on a mission to win some prizes,” you declared.

jungkook tilted his head slightly with a smile growing. “oh, are we?” he paused. “then, am i allowed to hold your hand during this mission?”

the idea startled you, but you didn’t shy away. nodding without a word, this was the signal for jungkook to pick up your free hand and interlock his fingers with yours. somehow, it wasn’t a moment that sent ringing sensations in your ears nor was it one in slow motion. it was familiar, almost, and felt. . . right. it felt natural, like it was coming home after a long day.

you leaned in to whisper in his ear, “and thank you for the flowers. you remembered my favourite.” you weren’t even sure how he knew, but you knew that jungkook would only give you a gift with a well-thought out meaning behind them.

this time, it was jungkook’s cheeks who reddened slightly. he didn’t say anything else, only squeezing your hand and leading the way.

***

jungkook was tired. you were tired of telling him to suck it up. you had gone two summers in a row without winning a single prize and you were determined to walk away from the fair with at least one thing. albeit, at this point, you ran out of tickets to play games and you knew jungkook had extra, since he received some from his parents, but your grandfather also gave him some. he was your last hope, as you begged him to use the last of his tickets to get you something.

“hoseok hyung told me these games are rigged. can’t we just go do bumper cars, bunny?” jungkook groaned, as the two of you walked away empty handed from balloon darts.

you pouted. “no. i just want one of those big charmander stuffies, i know you can win them!”

“why don’t you play the games?”

“because i’m bad at them, how do you think i lost all of my tickets so quickly?” you responded, crossing your arms over your chest.

jungkook grumbled more complaints under his breath, while you forcibly dragged him towards the ring toss booth.

“hey kids! giving the ‘ol ring toss a try?” beamed the booth attendant, who was the same every year.

you weren’t entirely sure what his name was, but you and jungkook collectively agreed on calling him “carnival man” and he recognized the two of you each time the festival was in town. though you were about four feet of fury at the time, you had quiet rage against carnival man. you were convinced he cheated you out of getting the xl sized penguin prize last year and you wanted revenge.

“kookie will do it!” you exclaimed, smugly pushing your best friend forward.

“yeah, whatever, kookie will do it,” jungkook rolled his eyes and handed over a single ticket to carnival man.

carnival man happily took the ticket from jungkook. “it’s nice to see you kids again. you’re always together, huh?”

“unfortunately,” the two of you said in unison, only for you two to shoot each other identical daggers.

at this, carnival man guffawed in amusement and gave jungkook his sets of rings.

here, jungkook did not win. in fact, he didn’t win you a single thing that summer and you didn’t speak to him for the following day because of it. only a day, though, since carnival man was right - the two of you were always together. you eventually gave in after the first day of silent treatment and showed up to jungkook’s house with your horse, marshmallow, and convinced him to join you by the sunflower fields. he had scoffed, called you stupid, and then without missing a beat, came outside to accompany you.

***

“kookie! and. . .bunny? is that you?”

carnival man was a lot older than you remembered, but you weren’t sure if it was just the tricks of time playing a game on you. it seemed like everything was so much more youthful and bright in your childhood memories. however, the brightness in carnival man’s smile didn’t falter and it only widened upon laying eyes on you and jungkook. then, his eyes trailed over to your clasped hands together and it widened even more.

“you remember me?” you gaped, as carnival man took your hand and shook it vigorously.

“of course i do! well, i remember the two of you, specifically,” he exclaimed. “i see jungkook here, but i’ll always remember how you two kids came around together every summer! you’re all grown up now!”

although lines of age creased his smile and streaks of grey contrasted against his black hair, seeing carnival man again made you feel like you were ten years old all over again. the fair seemed so much more larger than life and this moment was one of those moments that reminded you of why you loved summer so much.

jungkook smiled, “it’s nice to see you, mr. lee.” he appeared to be a bit shy, as the older man was fixated on the sight of you two holding hands.

it occurred to you that carnival man was never his real name and meeting him as mr. lee felt like a call to the reality in which you were now a grown up. you realized that jungkook continued to see mr. lee at the fair over the years without you and didn’t feel the same rush of nostalgia.

the only reason why jungkook couldn’t also shake mr. lee’s hand was the abundance of prizes nestled into his arms. the two of you left your sunflower bouquets at the general store - luckily, it was now busy with tourists wanting water bottles or sunscreen and the two of you avoided any gushing or questioning from mrs. oh - and thank god you did because you did not expect to be carrying around so many things. a mini teddy bear, a sheet of temporary tattoos, a t-shirt, some gift cards, and a larger kuromi plush toy that was double the size of your head.

thankfully, jungkook held onto everything without complaint and remarked that you had no business carrying anything so long as he was there. the funny part was that you two had barely visited all of the games and the only reason why you’d won so many prizes was because you two were competing at each one.

“and you know i refuse to lose,” jungkook said at the first game, which was a basketball shootout.

with the same competitive spirit, the two of you both did very well at each game and walked away with a prize from almost every one. it also probably helped that you were now adults with disposable income and could pay to participate in as many games as you wanted. jungkook had announced that he was ready to make up for his past failrures, never forgetting the summer that resulted in your silent treatment because of his inability to win you a prize. you didn't think that meant struggling to carry around your prizes within the first hour.

now, mr. lee began setting up the ring toss for the two of you. “so, you moved back to amber valley, young lady?”

“yes, sir. i’m running the family farm now,” you replied.

“congratulations, bunny. that’s some hard, honest work, my best wishes to you!” mr. lee said. “you know, i always thought you two had quite a special bond, even at a young age.”

jungkook avoided eye contact. “mr. lee, you’re kind,” he chuckled, nervously.

“i mean it! it fills my heart with joy to see you two here after all these years.” there was twinkle in mr. lee’s eyes as he spoke. “for some people, their universes are stitched together with unseen threads that will always lead them back to where they belong.”

it was your turn to squeeze jungkook’s hand and neither of you said anything more, only exchanging a look.

***

jungkook wouldn’t stop pouting and you weren’t sure what to do about it. it really wasn’t your fault, you couldn’t help the fact that, like most young girls, you got your growth spurt earlier than your male friend. you were a few inches taller than jungkook at this point and he was deflated to learn that you were tall enough for the rollercoaster, while he had yet to measure up.

“sorry kid. maybe next year,” the ride attendant gave jungkook a small smile.

you were disappointed, as well, as you and jungkook had waited nearly thirty minutes in line. all for jungkook to not be able to ride the coaster. you turned to him, who sighed.

he said, “it’s okay, bunny. you can go on without me.”

a part of you did want to get on the ride, especially after waiting for quite some time, but you didn’t hesitate to shake your head.

“no. i won’t go on without you,” you stressed, to which jungkook looked at you in shock.

he shook his head. “no, it’s okay. just go, we waited for so long.”

“i said i’m not going,” you said, standing your ground.

instead, you walked off from the front of the line, ignoring jungkook calling your name until he ran up to catch up to you.

“hey! what are you doing?”

“i said i’d go with you. if you’re not there, there’s no point,” you shrugged, as if it was no big deal. “we’ll go next time. hey, wanna go see carnival man and do ring toss?”

you didn’t wait for an answer, as you made a beeline for the ring toss booth. jungkook jogged up to you and you noticed that he was trying to hide the smile on his face.

***

“jungkook. . .this is the kid’s roller coaster.”

everyone else in the line was about half jungkook’s size, unless they were one of the parents giving the two of you a dirty look for getting on the kid’s coaster. there was no explicit rule that adults couldn’t ride the rollercoaster, but it was a very popular ride and jungkook had the privilege of cutting the line, as the two of you were given a free “fast lane” pass by mayor kim for being local small business owners. the fast lane pass was costly and the majority of fairgoers opted to wait in the long lines.

jungkook didn’t seem to care too much, though. “yeah, so what? you picked the giant swing and said the next ride was my choice.”

“you’re pissing off the kids,” you whispered in a lower voice, as the attendant let out the last party from the rollercoaster. you guys were up next. “i thought you would want to do the drop tower or something.”

“you promised me that we could go on the ride the last time we were here. remember, when i was too short?” he casually whistled.

“jungkook, that was, like, seventeen years ago.”

he continued, “and i wrote it for our summer bucket list! you may have never seen it, but i was dying to go on this ride.”

and that was how you found yourself crammed into a kid-sized rollercoaster at the very front with jungkook. with impeccable timing, it looked as though some of the boys were passing by. seokjin caught your eye first and tapped taehyung’s shoulder beside him, who then got namjoon’s attention.

“oh my god,” you groaned, watching the three of them wave wildly at you and jungkook.

on the other hand, jungkook found this hilarious. he waved back and you covered your blushing face with your hands. you were already embarrassed from the cut eye given to you by the parents in line, now this.

“have fun, lovebirds!” called namjoon, as seokjin and taehyung proceeded to take several pictures of you and jungkook from afar.

***

“my tooth hurts!” you whined, shoving your cotton candy into jungkook’s hands.

at seven years old, it was on the later side for you to lose your first tooth. you’d been wiggling it for weeks, but cried when jimin offered to rip it out of your mouth for you. this happened just a few moments ago, before jungkook yelled at him to go back to his mommy.

jungkook didn’t seem bothered and was actually pleased to double fist two sticks of cotton candy. “thanks bunny!” he ignored your complaints and happily continued snacking away.

this was the first year that you and jungkook were permitted to roam around without adult supervision - kind of. as long as you were in vicinity of ten year old hoseok, who was sitting on a bench and playing on his gameboy advance, the two of you were free to play together.

“this isn’t fair, i’m not allowed to eat anything,” you huffed. your grandfather warned you that any sort of sweet will just hurt and you were better off enjoying other parts of the festival.

“don’t tell my parents, they said i could only have one cotton candy,” jungkook said, as he observed your sad appearance. “why do you look like that?”

“like what?”

“you look sad. it’s ugly on you,” jungkook mindlessly commented and you flicked his arm. “ow!”

you glared at him. “don’t call me ugly!”

“i said looking sad is ugly on you. so, don’t be sad,” jungkook replied, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

when your expression didn’t change, jungkook sighed and looked over to where hoseok was sitting. the older boy’s eyes were glued to his screen and was now joined by jimin, who was cheering him on in whatever game he was playing. then, jungkook turned back to you.

“what?” you asked.

“wanna go watch the magician show?” he asked, grinning. “so you can stop being sad.”

your eyes widened, as you took your turn to look over your shoulder at hoseok. “your mom said to stay nearby! what if we get in trouble?”

“i dare you to come with me to the magician show,” jungkook countered, knowing that was the secret word that made you do just about anything. you hated the idea of losing dares to jungkook and had yet to do so.

you knew you were going to get an earful if you left hoseok’s sight, who was supposed to be watching over you. then, you remembered that, earlier that day, hoseok refused to let you play a level of mega man on his gameboy and decided you didn’t care if you got him in trouble.

“okay! let’s go!” your features suddenly brightened and you let jungkook take you by the wrist - not the hand because, ew, it was jungkook - towards the other end of the fairgrounds.

the cotton candy had already been consumed and jungkook tossed the paper sticks into the nearest trash can, as the two of you quietly giggled about your mischievous sneak-away.

***

unlike jungkook, jiwon had no trouble tracking down her sibling at any given moment, even with the large crowds gathered for the festival. she also didn’t seem to care that her brother was in the middle of a date, as you were the one to first notice that she was dragging sangwoo by the wrist in your direction.

“is something wrong, jiwon?” jungkook asked and there was a tinge of annoyance in his voice at the appearance of the younger girl. the two of you were engaged in somewhat of a flirtatious conversation and jiwon’s premise immediately killed jungook’s mood.

“hi y/n!” she greeted and then she turned to jungkook wearing a sickly sweet smile. “oppa, may i have ten bucks?”

“i gave you twenty bucks this morning,” he raised an eyebrow at her.

meanwhile, sangwoo was in awe of the amount of prizes in jungkook’s arms. “woah! you guys won all of those?” at this point, there was an addition of a frisbee and a stuffed octopus.

“i won most of them,” both you and jungkook said at the same time, resulting in a shared glare.

jiwon cleared her throat. “so. can i have ten bucks, please? we wanna get cotton candy!”

“what did you do with the first twenty bucks?”

“we went on the teacup ride! oh, and we got rice cakes and funnel cake and actual cake,” jiwon explained and went a little too fast, so you didn’t doubt that the kids did, in fact, consume all that sugar.

it seemed like jungkook also didn’t doubt it and while you knew he wanted to scold her, you were taken aback to find him letting go of your hand to reach for his wallet in his back pocket. he sighed and, as he was still carrying all of your prizes, merely held it out for jiwon to fish a twenty out of.

“only because today is the festival,” he warned and muttered a second part under his breath, “and only so you can leave us alone.”

you also had the same feeling that jiwon and sangwoo were not going anywhere without their ultimate goal, especially since the former seemed to have the same persistence that her brother had.

“thank you, i love you!” jiwon declared, handing the wallet back to her brother and planting an exaggerated kiss on his cheek. “thank you, thank you! we’ll leave you alone now!”

the pair scurried off together, as sangwoo also yelled out his thanks. they ran through the crowd together, giggling amongst themselves. when jungkook took your hand again, you were still lost in thought, watching the two purchase cotton candy from far away. sangwoo handed the first stick to jiwon and the two talked with one another, cheerily enjoying their treat.

“don’t get me wrong, making sure jiwon is eating healthy is important to me, but today’s the fair. it’s special for her and sangwoo like it was for us, might as well let her off the hook for today.” he noticed you watching them and followed your stare. “they’re cute, aren’t they?”

“they are. how long have they been that close?”

“since they were born, basically. they’re always with each other,” jungkook shook his head.

“do you think jiwon has a little crush?” you wondered aloud, as jiwon shoved sangwoo playfully for whatever joke he might have had made.

jungkook asked, “did you?”

he was referring to the two of you as kids, as it was clear that your shared wistful stares at jiwon and sangwoo were a product of looking back at your own childhoods. two best friends that stood by each other’s sides at all times and grew up together. you had to admit, you saw your and jungkook’s reflections when you looked at jiwon and sangwoo.

upon hearing the question, you rolled your eyes. “you wish, jeon jungkook.”

but, you weren’t entirely sure. adults joked that you and jungkook would grow up to marry each other, just from watching you two play chess or ride horses together. there was a magnetic force that naturally stuck the two of you together, from day one. you cared deeply for jungkook before you could have a comprehensive understanding of what it was like to have love for someone beyond your family.

“pretty sure i had a crush on you. that’s probably why i was devastated when you stopped coming to the valley,” he casually mentioned, but you turned to him in surprise.

“were you really?”

“yeah. you were my closest friend.”

“i’m sorry,” you said. “you were mine, too. i just thought you would forget about me, i guess. then, i don’t know - “

jungkook cut in, “- we grew up. that’s what happened, it’s okay.”

that was the reality of life. it was sad to look back on, but it was overshadowed by the incredible forces that brought you and jungkook back together. never, in a million years, would you have ever imagined standing in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again.

“ever since i came back, you became my closest friend again. even with all the weird stuff going on between us,” you admitted the last part with the roll of your eyes.

although you were just teasing, jungkook’s expression turned serious. “hey, i am sorry about that. but, honestly. . . “ he sighed. “like you said, we became close friends again. and so fast, too.”

“it got confusing, didn’t it?” you asked, looking at your feet. “when things seemed like it could be more, i kept trying to convince myself that, you know, this is just how we are. we’re friends, this is how we act and nothing more.”

“you read my mind. you really did,” jungkook said, looking at you with a surprised expression. “i think i always knew, though. from the moment i saw you again.”

you thought back to the first time you met jungkook again. you remembered how soft his hands were and how he managed to make you smile on one of the worst days of your life. that was just jungkook, though, and his way of bringing sunlight into your life, even when it was raining.

“i. . .i think i knew, too. but, i thought you just saw me as the little girl who used to play with you in your backyard.”

he shook his head. “i thought you had so much on your plate. and, well, i’ll admit, i’ve had trouble even considering a love life since becoming jiwon’s guardian. she’s always come first in my life before anything else.”

“i don’t blame you, i can’t imagine what the past few years have been like for you,” you said. “but, you were a tad bit stupid. let’s be real.”

jungkook snorted. “yeah, i know i was stupid. believe me, the last thing i wanted to do was fully push you away. my childhood best friend came back into my life and i had to confront that she was now a strong, beautiful and incredibly intelligent woman that i had feelings for.”

this was the first time that things were finally being said aloud and it was as if a thousand pounds was being lifted off of your shoulders. you were light, you were flying.

“but,” he continued. “i also had to confront that you were still my closest friend, the person who i can turn to when things go wrong. you were my friend who i laughed with and shared things with and i couldn’t lose that. i have the guys, but no one compares to how in sync we are.”

“i know what you mean. we complement each other in this crazy way. . .” you trailed off.

mr. lee spoke about destinies stitched together and things meant to be. holding jungkook’s hand felt meant to be in a way that it was just natural. so did laughing with him and making him dinner and letting him do things for you, simply because he didn’t want you to do it by yourself.

jungkook said, “do you see why i was afraid of this?” he gestured to the two of you holding hands. “if i fuck this up with you, i’ll lose both my girlfriend and my best friend. if i fuck this up with you, i’ll have let you down during a time where you just moved to a whole new town for a job with all these expectations that everyone has for you.”

“you don’t have to be afraid of those things,” you murmured, gently placing your free hand on his arm.

“i’m not. not anymore, when the what ifs and the idea of missing out on something good with you is even scarier.”

suddenly, you took a look around your surroundings. it obviously wasn’t planned, but the two of you were having quite the intimate conversation just across from the face painting booth and the craft stalls. you tugged jungkook into a random corner, where there was a lone chair in between walls.

“can you put the prizes down for a second?” you asked.

jungkook was confused. “huh?”

“can you put the prizes down so i can kiss you?” you commanded, giving him a pointed look.

then, he chuckled and without hesitation, placed your various trinkets down on the chair. you rolled your eyes with a smile and jungkook hooked a thumb on one of the belt loops of your jean shorts, using it to pull you closer. he leaned in, placing his other hand at the small of your back.

jungkook, too, smiled into the kiss and like everything else, it felt natural. it felt like home. you melted into his arms as you always do, softly kissing back.

although you could have stood there forever with him, lost in his touch, you had to pull away. “you scared of that?” you raised an eyebrow.

“shut up man,” jungkook said, but stole a quick peck from you before he let you go from his embrace.

you thought you would never stand in the middle of the amber valley midsummer festival with jeon jungkook ever again. the world worked in mysterious ways and you were proven wrong. more so, you weren’t just standing with jungkook. you were a woman standing in the middle of the town that built your hopes and dreams. you were standing in middle of the fair that never shook off its magic, even years later. you were standing with the man who made you realize that home wasn’t just a place.

***

it was safe to say that you freaked out when jungkook showed you what he stole from his dad’s tool box. you were so scared that jungkook had to beg you to not snitch on him and even threatened that he would tell your grandfather that you’d been making him help you complete your chores in the chicken coop.

“it’s just a pocket knife, bunny.”

“it’s sharp! you could hurt yourself!” you hissed, stepping a few feet away from him like he had mad cow disease.

jungkook sighed and ignored you, walking over to where your sitting spot was. this year, the midsummer festival fell on what was easily the hottest day of the summer. the heat wave was unlike any other you’d experienced so far and you were surprised that the fair was still going on. the two of you had completed just under ten minutes at the bouncy castle before you insisted you needed a break.

the two of you had found a random tree to sit under, as you split an ice cream float to beat the heat. this is when jungkook said he had “something cool” to show you.

you had no choice but to leave your grumbles under your breath, finding your place beside jungkook since the ice cream float was in his hand. “you’re hogging it all,” you complained and he handed it over to you.

“are you done freaking out?” he asked.

“what are you even gonna do with that?”

it was as if jungkook was waiting for you to ask the question. “this.” he clicked it open and turned behind him, to the lower part of the tree of which you were leaning on.

your eyes were wide, as jungkook began scratching away at the wood. the first letter you could make out was “J” and you nervously looked around your surroundings. it didn’t seem like anyone was paying attention to the two of you, occupied with the festivities or trying to not pass out from the sun.

jungkook completed a “K” and moved on to slowly carving out your initials. “so we remember today!”

“it’s gonna be there forever,” you sputtered. “my grandpa says that trees last forever if no one cuts them down. . .so, since our names are there, we’ll be best friends forever!”

a toothy grin stretched across jungkook’s face. “yeah! we are. we’re going to be best friends forever.”

***

considering jungkook’s victory earlier in the day, several people stopped to congratulate him throughout the afternoon. he was hard to miss and he was also just a generally well-known person around town.

that was precisely why you were scared shitless that someone was going to recognize either of you committing vandalism.

“you’re covering me, right?”

“i am, but can you hurry up?” you demanded through gritted teeth, trying to look over your shoulder to see if anyone was looking your way without looking suspicious.

from the unassuming eye, it looked like you and jungkook were merely engaged in conversation. . .but facing the tree. you were sat cross-legged, turned to the tree as if it was another person talking amongst yourselves. instead, you were trying to cover jungkook carving into the wood.

you shook your head. “i can’t believe our names are still on this.”

“we did say it would be forever,” jungkook reminded you and if he wasn’t holding a pocket knife in his hands, you would’ve shoved him over.

you always remembered that your and jungkook’s names lived on the bark of a random tree in town. there was no way you could forget the scolding the two of you received for defacing town property.

“what if they notice? we’re adults now, we could get charged for this,” you said.

“then we say it was always like this,” jungkook concluded and caught your eye. “what? what are they gonna do, tell my mom and your grandpa?”

at that, you did let out a laugh. “i can’t imagine what they’re thinking, watching us from up there.”

then, jungkook clicked his pocket knife close and scooted over on the grass, as he’d been blocking his work from your view the entire time. he made the initials deeper into the wood, ensuring that it wasn’t going anywhere, and added a heart around the letters. once depicting you and jungkook as friends “4ever,” it was now framed by the heart and shifted its meaning altogether.

“they likely made a bet about us getting together and the winner is probably rejoicing,” you suspected and jungkook nodded in agreement, snickering under his breath.

your hands grazed over the carved design and you thought back to the moment where the two of you first sat under the same tree.

jungkook said, “pretty good first date, huh? scammed some booths out of their prizes, pissed off the entirety of amber valley elementary and we vandalized town property.” he looked pleased with himself leaning against the tree and wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

with your legs stretched out and the crime completed, you were able to relax underneath the protection of the leafy branches. “mhm, definitely a first date that i’ll never forget,” you laughed, placing your head on jungkook’s chest.

the two of you bought an ice cream float for old times sake and jungkook brought it closer to you, so that you wouldn’t have to move. it seemed to be a constant - jungkook doing things for you just because. just because he didn’t want you to do it yourself. just because he wanted to do something for you.

“i have arms, you know,” you joked, but took a sip regardless.

he responded, unfazed, “i know.”

the smile the two of you shared confirmed your thoughts. whether you were kids and jungkook walked you home every time just because or you were adults and jungkook wanted to spend his whole day fixing your windows just because. that was just how he was always going to be for you.

“well, do you know that a first date implies that there’s going to be a second date?” you decided to be bold for once, as all your anxieties evaporated when you accepted that jungkook was both your best friend and a person you held feelings for - a coexistence that you realized was possible and even exciting.

jungkook scoffed. “second date? did you not see the tree, you’re stuck with me forever.” his joke resulted in you playfully hitting his chest.

“did you just curse me with some witchcraft on this tree or something?”

“rock hard, huh?” he asked, ignoring your accusation and was referring to you hitting his chest. “trust me, i know.” jungkook flexed his arm muscles and although he was kidding around, it was quite impressive and distracting.

“i’m totally objectifying you right now, by the way. i can admit that now, right?” you smirked. “‘cause i’ve been checking you out for months.”

at that, jungkook genuinely appeared to be a bit sheepish, his ears first turning pink like they always do. “drink your float, man,” he insisted, using it as a tool to shut you up. you nearly choked from holding in your laugh as you took another sip, which made him laugh, too.

you sat up slightly, but still mostly laying your body weight on your jungkook, only to crane your neck to see the letters carved onto the tree. the carving waited for you two for years to return. a part of you couldn’t believe that it was jungkook you were stealing kisses and blushing from.

“but, for real,” jungkook spoke, now also looking at his handy work. “a second date is nothing when the tree says you’re stuck with me. that means you’re my girl.”

he held your chin with his free hand so that you could look into his eyes as he declared the last part. jungkook’s gaze was warm and you now understood what it was like to feel butterflies in your stomach. it was always one of those things that you read about in books and couldn’t comprehend. you understood the moon and stars and you understood economics and science. this moment with jungkook was a pair of fresh eyes that opened your heart to a feeling of completeness that felt like it had always been there.

“wow, you’re not even going to ask me? this is the worst confession ever,” you managed to tease, your smile failing to fight the happiness spreading throughout your body.

jungkook retorted, “i saw it in your eyes, you were about to ask me first. i had to beat you to the punch, you know i hate letting you win things.”

“i think i won either way here,” you beamed, placing your head back onto jungkook’s chest. you could feel his heart beating loudly, but he didn’t seem to mind and planted a kiss on your forehead. jungkook wanted you to know how much this moment meant to him, too.

your first summer back in amber valley was nothing you expected. your grandfather’s last wishes for you were for you to discover nature and what it meant to make real connections with people. it was a head first journey that you embarked on, all by yourself. yet, months later, you found yourself surrounded by a family you found yourself and the beauty of a town that you thought was forever going to only live in your memories and dreams. you found belonging.

jungkook taught you that home wasn’t a place. home was the sunday market with friends. home was doing things you would have never imagined yourself doing, like salsa dancing and paddle boarding. home lived in watching your hard work bloom into something greater than yourself, with each harvest and each morning you spent feeding your animals. home was even a person - a horse-riding man who was unselfish at his core and loved breakfast for dinner.

you dreaded the end of the night, as it seemed like the midsummer festival was a blissful magic that you never wanted to end. you could have lived in this moment forever.

“goodnight, bunny. i’ll see you tomorrow,” jungkook said, as the two of you stood at the doorstep of the farmhouse. he leaned down and met you in a soft kiss, where he murmured a thank you against your lips for the perfect day you shared.

there, you realized that the magic didn’t have to end. there was always a tomorrow to look forward to when everyday was a new day to fall more and more in love with your best friend. the magic in the air didn’t even have to end when the last of the summer heat turned into the first chill of autumn, amidst the shifting hues of the leaves. the magic kept you warm throughout the winter and blossomed in the springtime.

for the first time in your life, you no longer had to walk away from jungkook come the rain of september. when you were younger, it seemed like the magic of amber valley only existed in the warmer months. summer was a special place in your heart and the memories of your youth, but home was something that stood by you through the changing seasons.

𝐓𝐀𝐆 𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓. @shellyyy177 @myseokjinji @teddybeartaetae @jalexad @sstrongstyle @wobblewobble822 @seokout @taiwan0618 @firelcrds @xwniazx

#jungkook fanfic #jungkook x reader #kpop fanfic #bts fanfic #bts scenarios #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts au #bts series #jungkook imagine #jungkook angst #jungkook fluff #jungkook scenario #jungkook x you #jungkook x oc #bts scenario #bts fluff #*** / the farmhouse.

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shelyue99 · 5 months

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An incomplete list of Lewis Nixon’s roles during the war. ( it’s incomplete because certainly there are more, the following are just what I get from reading Beyond Band of Brothers, the Biggest Brother and Parachute Infantry):

Nix's job titles during the war: Assistant platoon leader of Easy Company - 2d Battalion S-2 (Intelligence Officer)- 506th Regiment S-2 - 2d Battalion S-3 (Operation Officer)

• Briefed the men before the jump

• In Normandy, helped with bringing the TNT to Brécourt Manor to destroy the battery guns, brought the maps Dick found at Brécourt Manor to Utah Beach

• Brought back two Sherman tanks from Utah Beach to help Dick clear the areas and secure the causeway

• Brought up the 81mm mortars from battalion headquarters company to reinforce Easy in Holland

• Made way back to battalion and brought trucks to help with the withdrawal when Easy was pulling back from Nuenen

Though tightly squeezed and under heavy fire, Easy held its ground. The Germans did not enter Nuenen. As the sky drew dark, Winters, badly outnumbered, finally ordered his men to withdraw. A short distance west of the village, a line of American deuce-and-a-half trucks waited for them, as did Lewis Nixon. He had been with Easy when it ran into the Germans. Knowing Winters would need help, he made his way back to battalion and ordered up the trucks.

"Thought maybe you could use a ride," Nixon said to Winters as his friend approached.

• Checked roadblocks with Dick, when Dick checked one direction Nixon checked the other

• Made rounds and checked on men during the night while Dick did the same during the day

One main difference between the two was the hours they kept. Winters was an early riser. He loved getting up early and getting a start on the day. Nixon was a night owl. He did his best work in the afternoon and at night. When they were out on the line, this proved an ideal arrangement. Winters kept tabs on the men during the day; Nixon made the rounds at night. This kept company commanders on their toes because they never knew when one or the other would show up and expect a status report.

•Accompanied Dick on a battalion inspection tour, but because of the urine incident instead they drove to Nijmegen to look for hot showers

Updated: in Holland, Nixon briefed the men and assigned them reconnaissance patrol to confirm the Dutch Underground’s intelligence report, to see whether German troops had moved into the village of Volkel.

• In Bastogne, Nixon acted as a liaison between battalion and regiment to clear confusion and kept the 2d Battalion out of a lot of trouble.

It is difficult to comprehend the confusion that characterized our first night at Bastogne. No one seemed to know where our boundaries lay, nor did anyone understand our precise mission. Since Colonel Strayer remained at regimental headquarters, I ordered Captain Nixon to locate Colonel Sink's command post and to coordinate with Major Hester, the regimental operations officer, to ensure we had our orders correct. Over the next few weeks, Nixon made many trips back to regiment to keep us informed and to ensure we understood our orders and our boundaries with adjacent units. This system worked well and kept 2d Battalion out of a lot of trouble.

Nix's greatest contribution to the successful defense of Bastogne was serving as a liaison between battalion and regimental headquarters. No man contributed more to keeping the regiment together during the ensuing battle. Nixon performed exceeding well in interpreting regimental orders and coordinating operational support while I positioned myself close to the forward edge of the battle area.

To give you an idea how dedicated Nixon was to the 506th PIR, at Bastogne he had his name drawn from a hat in a lottery that would have given him a thirty-day leave to the United States. Nix refused the offer, saying he wanted to stay with the outfit on the line. How do you explain that kind of dedication? Such devotion is never discussed by the men, but it is never forgotten. At the time, the 506th PIR was very short of men and officers, especially good, proven officers.

The young German Winters captured wasn't the only one confused. Officers on the line were often uncertain about their responsibilities and instructions. Not the least of these befuddled men was Strayer himself.

After attending briefings at regimental or division HQ, Strayer would gather his battalion staff around him and fill them in. Unfortunately, Winters often found Strayer's information vague and confusing. He cast questioning glances at Nixon, who would respond by rolling his eyes. After these briefings, Nixon would walk back to regiment to meet with Major Hester for clarification.

"Strayer had no goddamn idea what he was supposed to do," Winters said sixty years later. "But there's more than one way of skinning a cat, and the system Nixon and I had worked. Nixon did a good job. He kept 2nd Battalion out of a lot of trouble."

• Bitching with Dick about the brass and the army

"You know what this is, don't you," Winters told Nixon after receiving the orders. "Taylor's finally back and now he has to show off for Eisenhower." "Yeah," Nixon replied. "He probably figures we've just been sitting on our asses back there in Bastogne, and now he expects us to go out and kick German butt."

Winters' awareness of Taylor's return was based on firsthand experience. Shortly after the commanding general's arrival, after the siege of Bastogne had been broken, Taylor had visited his men in the field.

While inspecting 2nd Battalion's front, he strode briskly along the line with Winters and the other officers trailing along behind. Finishing, he turned to Winters and said, "Watch those woods in front of you." Then he left. Winters' jaw dropped, then he turned to Nixon.

"'Watch those woods in front of you'? " he said. "What the hell did he think we've been doing while he was back in Washington?"

Now that the men were no longer living outside in the ice and snow, the army saw fit to ship them sixty-one hundred pairs of winter shoepacs, arctic socks, felt insoles and six thousand yards of white cloth, enough to make two thousand snowsuits.

"Oh my, how we could have used them six weeks ago at Bastogne," Winters said to Nixon as he looked at the stacks of cold-weather gear his men no longer needed.

"Guess we should be glad we got them at all," Nixon said wryly. "They could have shipped them to the Pacific."

• Accompanied and drove around with Dick on various occasions in Germany/Austria, including inspecting German surrendered troops, the weapons, the mess hall, etc.

• Being Dick’s close friend, confidant, companion,emotional support person, the one Dick could talk to and unburden himself

As different in temperament as Nixon and I were, he was the one man to whom I could talk. He provided an outlet that allowed me to unburden myself as a combat leader.

#lewis nixon #dick winters #winnix #band of brothers

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deathmetalunicorn1 · 11 months

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That was amazing! This will be my last request around Eri!Reader until you reopen your requests so I’m not spamming you! (Thank you so much for writing these, I get so excited whenever you post since your so amazing and talented!! 💞✨)

Part 14 After returning to Water 7 to heal from their battle (And happy to learn Franky is going to make them a Ship and join them) Garp the Fist comes in, and reveals to be Luffy’s Grandfather, but before he could continue beating the snot out of Luffy, Reader stops him (Garp is happy to finally meet his one and only Granddaughter Reader!)

However Garp ends up pissed when Luffy told him Spadam hit her, and wants to get his hands on him! (No one puts their hands on his Granddaughter!! NO ONE!!)

Though Reader calms Luffy and Garp down from wanting to go back/to Enies Lobby to beat Spadam up (Garp’s cackling after learing that his sweet Granddaughter hit Spadam in his ‘Royal Jewels’, as he’s very proud of her for doing that) and leaves the Straw Hats alone after telling Luffy about his dad Dragon (Not before promising to spend time with Reader and gives her one of his Rice Crackers)

For the next 3 days the Straw Hats and all of Water 7 had a huge party, with Reader playing around with Chimney and Gonbei in her bathing suit Franky gave her (Including little Arm Floats that look like Starfish/Kitties)

And with Nami’s help, Reader calls Ace to talk with him, and Ace was holding in his rage after hearing what his little sister went through (As she told him it was scary) and the fact she got slapped, but he started laughing when Luffy told him what Reader did to Spadam’s ‘Jewels’ (Whitebeard and his sons were doing the same thing as Ace, angry and furious, but proceeded to laugh hysterically after learning what Reader did to someone’s ‘Jewels’)

I love Whitebeard so much (He’s so protective and caring about those apart of his family) he’s just a giant softie

They all see not only Zoro, Luffy, Robin and Reader’s Bounties upgraded, but everyone get a Bounty themselves (And everyone screamed when Reader’s bounty Skyrocketed again at 320-350 Million)

Reader also comforts her Brother Sanji about his Wanted Poster by giving him one of her own drawings of him (It’s a kid drawing, but compared to Luffy, it’s 100x better than his art skills and she drew it out of love)

I’ll wait until next time to ask you for a Garp and Eri!Reader Special (They’re going to spend a whole day together!) it’s just pure. unadulterated. Fluff.

-It had been two days since you and your family arrived back from Enies Lobby, as many of you were severely injured, you were luckily, being the least injured, but after overworking your quirk, you were just as tired as the rest of them.

-You were so happy that Franky was a part of the crew and that Usopp was back, as you felt protective of your family, you never wanted any of them to leave- you never wanted to be apart from them.

-Franky was super nice to you as the others were slowly waking up, both him and Iceburg treating you to breakfast as you were the first to wake up.

-You were in awe, seeing Luffy still sleeping but also eating, unable to look away until Sanji and Nami yelled at him to wake up while Robin and Usopp were laughing lightly at the sight.

-A knock then came from the door before it burst open and Franky dropped his shoulder, wrapping his arms around you, shielding you from the debris.

-A large man then entered, a marine which made you clutch at Franky’s Hawaiian shirt, scared as everyone was quickly able to recognize this man, Monkey D. Garp!

-Luffy’s jaw was dropped, “Grandpa?!” everyone quickly turned in shock, hearing this, yelling in shock while your little hands came to your face in shock.

-Garp then made you gasp as he punched Luffy, sending him flying into a wall. Zoro and Sanji were stunned, ready for a fight, seeing that he was able to hurt Luffy.

-You pushed on Franky’s chest and you managed to slip out of his arms and you ran over as Garp stalked towards Luffy, cracking his knuckles, ready to discipline him before you ran in front of your brother.

-Your arms were spread and you had big fat tears in your eyes, “Please don’t hurt my big brother!” everything froze, seeing you protecting Luffy and Garp stammered, trying to tell you that he wasn’t going to hurt Luffy, just discipline him.

-The tears fell from your eyes and Garp instantly fell to his knees, hugging you close, “Grandpa’s so sorry little Y/N! I didn’t mean to make you cry!”

-You sniffled loudly as Luffy struggled to his feet, a bit dizzy, before you spoke, “You’re my grandpa?” Garp glared at Luffy, his eyes turning red, “You didn’t tell her about your one and only grandpa?!”

-You tugged on Garp’s shirt gently, not seeing him as someone so scary now, “I have two grandpas- you’re my second one!”

-Garp turned to stone in shock before crumbling into a sobbing pile while Robin picked you up, holding you up on her hip, he cried, lamenting that he wasn’t your first grandpa.

-He then shot up, looking completely fine, looking fired up, “So who was your first grandpa?!” he wanted to find out to take that title from whoever got to you first, no matter who it was.

-You beamed brightly, your arms lifting to the sky happily, “I’ve never seen him but I’ve talked to him with Big Brother Ace- he said his name is Whitebeard!”

-The flames around Garp seemed to increase, growing hotter as his eyes turned red, furious that his adorable granddaughter had been adopted by Whitebeard of all people and that you saw him as your first grandpa, while Garp was in second place!

-He could only imagine you (in cartoon form), in Whitebeard’s arms, laughing with him as he stood on the 1st place spot of a podium while Garp was on his knees in second place.

-Garp wasn’t going to deal with your crew at the moment, instead joining you all for a meal, you sitting on his knee as you held a cup of juice.

-Garp noticed the bandage on your head, “What caused this?” you lifted your hand to your head and Nami was the one to answer, “It was that marine, Spandam- he hit Y/N for trying to protect Robin.”

-Garp froze, turning white, hearing that a grown adult- a grown man, put his hands on a child, injuring you as he was quick to get fired up, “Where is the bas-basket case!” he caught himself, not wanting to swear in front of you.

-You didn’t know why he was calling Spandam a basket, before his face appeared in your head, and his mask did look a bit like a basket.

-Your family was also still furious at Spandam, glaring and voicing their own anger while you were eating a cookie Garp gave to you.

-Nami pointed at him, scolding him, “Oi! Don’t be giving her cookies for breakfast!” you flinched as Garp just beamed brightly, “It’s fine- it’s fine!” Sanji grabbed you, “It is not fine! She needs healthy food in the morning.” Garp pouted, wanting to spoil you.

-He then spoke again, “So where is Spandam?” a few grins appeared as Franky ruffled your hair gently, “Y/N here took care of him, with a well-placed headbutt to the family jewels!”

-Garp laughed loudly, finding it hysterical, before he ruffled your head, praising you before he stood, telling Luffy about Dragon, his dad and you had question marks floating around your head, as you didn’t know any dragons.

-Luffy told you that he would tell you all about his dad and Garp gave you a bag of cookies, “I have to leave now my little Y/N~ I’ll come back to spend some time with you.”

-You smiled up at him, holding your hand up to him, extending your pinkie finger, “Pinkie promise?” Usopp was the one to teach you about pinkie promises, and Garp as well as several others around, Usopp, Luffy, Franky, Iceberg, and Sanji, all collapsed to the ground, clutching at their chests at your cuteness.

-After Garp left and all the damage caused by Aqua Laguna was fixed, everyone celebrated! There was a huge party with drinking, eating lots of barbeque, and you got to run around with Chimney in the water, being a normal kid for one, wearing your starfish shaped water wings that Franky gave you over your wet suit.

-Franky was confused why you were wearing a wet suit as he was your lifeguard, letting you sit on his leg, asking you and you pulled your arms in close, looking down at your hands, “There’s…” you couldn’t speak, instead pulling your sleeve up, showing him the scars, at least some of them, on your arms.

-His eyes were wide, seeing his as he held your hand gently, before a hand on his head pulled him out of his shock, and you both saw Luffy there who kneeled down, seeing you showing Franky your scars, “Someone hurt Y/N- badly. We don’t know much, but all we know is that he will never touch her again.”

-You gave Luffy a small nod before you all decided to head to the ship for a private party, having a bath with Robin and Nami while the boys started up a barbeque.

-You ran out to Luffy, grabbing his hand, pulling him away from the fire, looking excited as Nami grinned, walking out with Ace’s DenDen Mushi, “Nami and I are gonna call Ace and grandpa!”

-You sat on Luffy’s lap while he continued to eat, not bothering you heard it ringing before you heard Ace, “Is this my most favorite little sister~?” you giggled warmly, “Hi Ace!”

-Aboard the Moby Dick, their own drinking party, because it was Wednesday, everything went quiet as most everyone huddled around Ace, hearing the voice of their adorable little sister and granddaughter.

-You and Ace talked about your most recent adventures, including where Robin was kidnapped and then you were taken too. Ace was furious, flames surrounding him as they all heard that Spandam hurt you- and Whitebeard was ready to call for an attack before Nami had to tell Ace that you took care of Spandam yourself, taking out his family jewels.

-It was silent on the other side, all their anger instantly leaving before you flinched back into Luffy’s arms, hearing the roar of laughter from the other side.

-Once Ace was able to breathe again, he spoke, “What else happened?” you beamed brightly, “I met another grandpa- his name is Garp!”

-Ace shivered deeply, recalling his own memories of Garp before he managed to force a smile, “Oh? And how was he?” you thought for a moment, “Kinda loud- and he cried when I told him that Whitebeard is my first grandpa, while he was my second.”

-Whitebeard beamed warmly, hearing that he was your first, but he couldn’t help but imagine Garp lamenting over the fact that he was the second.

-The following day, you woke up to loud shouting and you wandered out of your room, a little delirous as you wandered over, rubbing your eyes as you grabbed Zoro’s pants, “Why is everyone yelling?”

-He kneeled down, putting his hand on your head and your eyes went wide as everyone showed you their new bounties, your eyes immediately sparkling brightly.

-Robin then smiled, “Here Y/N- this one is yours.” You looked exited, taking it while Luffy was pouting lightly, seeing your 400,000,000 beri bounty while you were gawking, “So many zeros!”

-You quickly ran to put it up on your wall, showing the other bounties as well and you beamed, feeling proud of yourself.

-You then noticed Sanji looked sad when you came back out and you quickly found out why, because the marines didn’t have a good photo, so they used a crudely drawn one by Luffy instead and Sanji was upset because it didn’t look a thing like him!

-You quickly ran back to your room, coming out with your drawing materials Usopp had given you and you got to work, making a new bounty poster to make your big brother happy!

-It took you over an hour to draw, everyone who had seen you saw the focus on your face before you ran to Sanji, “I made it better!”

-You drew your own bounty poster, including ‘bounty’ being spelled wrong, and a children’s drawing in the middle, showing Sanji making food with hearts surrounding him.

-Sanji fell to his knees, tears streaming down his face as he held it up to the sky, overwhelmed with happiness before he cried into his elbow, thanking you warmly, making you beam before your smile grew as he put it on the fridge, “So I can see it every day!”

-You celebrated with your crew, having a big feast to celebrate the new bounties, unaware of the, literal, darkness on the horizon.

#one piece x reader #eri reader #luffy #zoro #nami #sanji #usopp #chopper #nico robin #franky

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thislovintime · 2 months

Photo

Photo 1 by Henry Diltz, photos 2 & 3 by Micky Dolenz (in screenshots from footage of his tour, Micky Dolenz Celebrates The Monkees).

Bringing back an article transcribed in 2023, since it ties in with the theme of these photos.

“Dolenz chewed a jaw-breaker and snapped pictures of Peter. Jones sat nearby and munched his lunch. Tork said he believes in doing anything ‘as long as you’re totally committed to what you’re doing.’ Is Peter committed to starring in a television series, making hit rock ‘n’ roll records and living in Hollywood? ‘Sometimes,’ he said, ‘but I’ve got my best men working on it.’ Peter gets up and goes to the diving board. He clowns a while, starting to dive, then stopping suddenly at the end of the board. Teen-age girls at the side of the pool cry out, ‘Oh, Peter.’ Finally, Peter dives. The girls applaud and sigh. He comes back to the side of the pool and digs his hand into a box with the words ‘Peace’ and ‘Love’ painted on the side. The box, called a ‘Super Survival Kit,’ is filled with things Monkees are fond of, like Plasticman and Tarzan comics, a bushy-headed figure with a sign that says ‘Stamp Out Haircuts’ and a feathered hat. Tork, resting up beside the pool, commented, ‘It’s not hard work.’ He added that he spends what little free time he has ‘balancing my checkbook.’ ‘ We’ve been accused of copying the Beatles,’ said Peter, ‘but we’re picking up on the same things.’ Referring to the Beatles’ new hit ‘Baby You’re A Rich Man,’ he said that it means anyone can make it big. Did he think two years ago when he was a folk-singer in New York City’s Greenwich Village that he would make the big-time in the pop music field or television? ‘Sure, although I didn’t believe it as firmly as I do now. Now I’m a believer,’ Peter said with a grin. One of the Monkees biggest hits was ‘I’m a Believer.’ Other hits have been ‘Last Train to Clarksville,’ ‘Stepping Stone’ and the currently popular ‘Words.’ A cha-cha came blaring over the loudspeaker at poolside. Peter glanced up. ‘That’s obscene,’ he remarked. A young girl in a blue bathing suit nervously stepped forward requesting an autograph. Peter signed: ‘Love, Peter Tork’ and drew a flower. ‘I dig flowers,’ he said. ‘I always put a flower after my autograph, because it’s more gentle that way. But that doesn’t make me a flower child or a hippie. No one can call himself a flower child. ‘I also wear beads all the time now, any beads, colorful beads,’ said Peter, who attended Carleton College in Northfield, Minn., from 1959 to 1963. Then he settled back in the deck chair to read a ‘Peanuts’ book — out loud.” - article by James Beaumont, The Des Moines Register, August 7, 1967 (x)

#Peter Tork #Micky Dolenz #<3 #Tork quotes #The Monkees #Monkees #Peter and Micky #screenshots #can you queue it

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fantasy-drawings-ra · 2 months

Text

Miscellaneous Sketches: Sorry if theses are still a bit messy I was rushing whilst taking a picture of some of the sketches I’ve made in July. And I forgot to erase the smudges on the side.

Image Descriptions:

First image is of is a front view from a head to shoulders style shot or Baizhu. With a slight tilt upward where he’s looking down at viewer and a gentle smile.

Second image is of Herlock Sholmes from head to waist. He is turned in a side profile to the left with his face in a 3/4 angle to the viewer. He has his right arm in a pointing up pose and his expression is a wink from his right eye whilst smiling at viewer.

Third image is of the new Zelda in Echoes of Wisdom. Where she’s carefully walking to our left with her head facing over her shoulder to the right. It’s another 3/4 angle. Where she’s clutching the tri-rod up with both hands and her little friend tri to our right. Her cape and hair are flowing to the right and she has a slightly guarded expression on her face. Full image of her walking. Fourth image is of Princess Zelda based on The Four Swords manga version of her. She is looking slightly down to our right with her hands clasped together to the front. Her eyes are tilted slightly down and she has a calm expression to her face. It’s a 3/4 angle and shot.

Fifth image is of my Oc Dante looking to our right with a slightly miffed/agitated look. His eyes and nose are a bit scrunched and he has a little pout on his lip. He has his head looking over his shoulder with his shoulders face to our left. 3/4 angle from head to shoulders.

Sixth image is of Vio also based on the Four Swords manga version. He is looking to the viewer with a guarded expression facing to the left. Head to shoulders 3/4 angled shot. He has his long hat flowing to the right.

Seventh image is of Professor Layton and Descole based on the famous Lagos and Kabru meme that I hope to redraw in digital after I finish the Herlock Sholmes piece that I’m working on at the moment. The first part of the image has Layton on the right facing the left with a neutral expression. It’s a side profile shot. Descole is on the left facing left but his eyes looking back to Layton. The way that he’s drawn is in a goofy funny sort of exaggerated style and big eyes with three big long eyelashes. The second half of the picture is of Descole in a normal style looking up with tears streaming down his face and eyes closed. To what Layton is supposed to say in the joke (along the lines of “I’m not going to call you a good brother. What you put me through was terrible!” He’s still facing to the left.

Eighth and final image is of Miles Morales Spider-man practice. Looking forward to our right in a 3/4 angle. With a gentle neutral expression and is shot from head to shoulders.

End image description.

Extra fun notes:

The Herlock drawing gave me a bit of trouble this was my third attempt in the month and my fourth attempt ever. I’m still not really satisfied with how it came out but I’m hoping I can fix it in digital.

I’m really excited about the new Zelda game Echoes of Wisdom. So much so that I remember drawing this the same day the first trailer came out. I was really happy with how it turned out. And I’m hoping to get to drawing it in digital hopefully before the game comes out in September. Funnily enough as I was writing the image descriptions the second trailer came out. ☺️

I drew the two four swords characters (Zelda and Vio) after reading through the manga again. Which the last time I did was back in 2013. It was really fun and really brought back memories. So I had to draw something for it. Maybe in the future I’ll hopefully find the time to sketch the rest of the cast.

For the Laios meme of Descole and Professor Layton. As I mentioned I’m hoping to fix it up in digital after the Herlock piece and if I can do another version of this joke with Descole at Bronev at the encouragement from my sibling.

End of Post.

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twstfanblog · 11 months

Text

*~250 Followers Fic~*

A/N: Ignore me taking so long to get this out. I love how the fall gives me hit after hit and they only get worse in the winter XD. But I've got plenty of WIPs in the pot to work with. Enjoy this fic though!

Edit: Had to redo some tags. A lot of them got deleted somehow

Warnings: They/She OC, minor vomiting scene.

Main Pairings: Polygamous OC dating 3 people- YuuxMalleus, YuuxAzul, YuuxAzul, Alluded to Trey/Jade, Leona/Ruggie

A series of videos were posted to all of Cater’s socials, his Magicam, his Twstr, and even his Thimble over the course of a single day. The increase in activity drew in his followers and peaking curiosity. The first video opened with Yuu, smiling in a nice blazer with the NRC logo over the right breast.

“Hello to the audience of Cay-Cay-Cutie! I am sure you recognize me from my cryptid appearances in the background of Cater’s videos, but I’ll introduce myself anyway. I’m Yuu and I’m stealing Cater’s socials to record and post Night Raven College’s first annual Spice Endurance Competition!”

They walk to the center of the mirror chamber, gesturing to the seven mirrors, "Each dorm will be taking part in this little contest. Points will be given for every person who finishes the challenge. We're looking for clean bowls!"

She steps to the side, allowing Grim to float into view. The cat monster smiled smugly as he sported a new grand bowtie with an emblem of NRC in the center, “Join me and my co-host, Grim, in seeing how each dorm manages the challenge! Who will win? Who will lose? Who’s gonna CRY!? Find out in the next series of videos!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The first video after the introduction simply had the four suits of a card deck and a rose as the title. Opening it showed Yuu, smiling as she walked through a lush rose garden with a stylized stamp of 'Heartslabyul' in the corner, “Welcome back, and thanks for clicking the video! I’m live on the scene at the Heartslabyul dorm, home of the great Cay-Cay himself.”

The camera swings around, showing the various dorm members waiting patiently at the tables for the ghosts to bring out the spicy dishes. At the main table, sitting beside Riddle was Cater. Catching Yuu finally arriving, he smiled and waved, “Yuu-Chan~! Over here sweetie, bring my fans!”

“Yeah, yeah We’re coming…” Grim mutters under his breath, missing Yuu briefly showing his pouting face to the camera before it moves back to Cater and the others.

“It’s Cay-Cay and crew! Lined up and ready for the Spice Endurance Challenge!” Cater puts on his persona, smiling and winking at the camera with a number of cute gestures and poses.

Trey smiles softly from his place on Riddle’s other side, muttering in good nature, “Do we not get names?”

Yuu instantly moves the camera away from Cater’s display, almost shoving it into Trey’s surprised face, “Why is that baking prodigy, Trey Clover, competing? Will such a handsome, talented, connected, single, man take home a victory for his dorm?”

The green-haired junior turned his face away from the camera, pulling his hat over his eyes trying to hide his blushing expression, “Stop…”

Deuce, the caring freshman he was, saw how embarrassed Trey was. He leaned on the table, nearly laying on it in an effort to shield Trey from view, “I’m Deuce Spade! I’m also competing to show how great Heartslabyul is!” After a few moments, his determined expression softens to a smile, waving briefly to the camera, “Hi mom! If you’re watching. I don’t know if you’re watching…Wait, did I tell my mom about Diamond-Senpai’s social media…medias?”

“Ok, enough of that.” Ace’s hand shoves Deuce’s head out of the way, pushing the other freshman directly onto the table to take up the space. With a cocky smirk, he pointed at himself with a thumb, “I’m Ace Trappola! And I’m gonna win this stupid little contest thought up by old Ramshackle, over here.”

“Both of you get off the table.”

Ace and Deuce scramble off the table, both of them trying to put space between them and their annoyed housewarden. Yuu angles the camera over, showing Riddle’s angered glare at the two freshmen. Seeing he was being filmed, he coughed into his fist, calming his temper, “Hello. I am Riddle Rosehearts, the current house-warden of Heartslabyul. I’m looking forward to this new school event.”

“Riddle Rosehearts, everyone. And, no, the stick has yet to be found in his ass.”

“Excuse you-”

Grim groaned, floating into view to hide Riddle’s reddening face, “Can we start already? I wanna eat grub, not re-meet all these losers…”

Cater forcibly moved the camera to view him again, a small pout on his face. Seeing the focus back on him, he smiled, “Now listen up cuties! Yuu-Chan and Grim-Chan will be back after we eat. Not gonna be that kinda content channel, sorry folks.”

Yuu poked their head from the bottom of the screen, smiling at the camera, “I see the ghosts bringing out the noods! Round one of the Spice Endurance Challenge, start!” Their expression blanks for a moment, “Oh, hang on…”

They take the camera back, pointing it toward Riddle and making the motion of signing the cross at him. Reaching forward and dipping their fingers into his cup of tea before flicking the liquid at him, “Ok, now we can start!”

Riddle looked at himself in confusion in the background, seeing the spots of tea on his uniform, “What did you just do?”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The video has a brief ad roll, coming back to Yuu struggling to not laugh, “Welcome back! Let’s see how they did!”

The camera moves in a sweep of the garden, showing a number of Heartslabyul students guzzling down their tea or eating heaping spoonfuls of whipped cream that had made their way to the tables. At the main table, Cater sat in his chair working on a second bowl of spicy noodles, even though it was clear the dish was too spicy for him to handle. Beside him was Riddle face down on the table, unmoving. Trey was nowhere in sight, but Ace and Deuce were both in the fountain, heads dunked under the water. Grim was the only other person at the table, slurping up Ace and Deuce’s unfinished bowls.

Yuu zoomed in on Grim’s happy face, “Be careful, Grim, you don’t wanna get spicy in your eyes.”

At Grim’s happy chirp, Yuu moved away to focus on Cater’s flushed face, “And, just as I’m sure he was, Cater has taken to the challenge with grace and style!”

Cater simply flashed a peace sign, smiling as he covered his mouth to finish off Riddle’s bowl. Chewing, he pointed toward Riddle.

“Oh right.” Yuu moves closer to Riddle, a hand moving into frame to press against the prone redhead’s neck, checking his pulse, “...Ok, he’s still alive, where’s Trey?”

“I’m back! Is he still out?” Trey rushed into the area, carrying two massive bowls of whipped cream. Placing them on the table, he lifted Riddle’s head haphazardly by the hair. The redhead was clearly out of it with his face coated in sweat and completely red with his mouth hanging open. Instead of trying to feed the chilled topping to Riddle, Trey simply put him face down into the first bowl, ignoring the hissing sound and steam escaping from the sides.

Turning around Yuu yelled toward Ace and Deuce, “Aye! Trey’s back! Stop drinking the fountain water!” They mutter under their breath, “You’re gonna get a fucking infection…”

Grim floated beside Yuu, slurping up the last of his noodles as he faced the camera, “And that’s Heartslabyul! My henchmen will be tallying up the losers left standing and then we’ll move on to the next dorm!”

“That’s right, Grim! At least we have one clear winner! Cater, say bye-bye!”

Cater settled beside Yuu, waving and winking at the camera, “Bye-bye chat! All your love helped me through this challenge so remember to like and follow to keep up with the other videos! #Hotey-Ate-Spicy #Spice-Endurance-Challenge #Not-Click-Bait!”

“On to the next dorm!”

Grim floated over Riddle, his face slowly morphing into a grimace of worry, “Is he breathing?”

“...”

Yuu looked over, seeing Trey trying to stop Ace and Deuce from fighting over the bowl of whipped cream, “Hey, Trey…Riddle might need medical attention.”

“Of course he does…”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next video had a series of emojis being A sunset, a lion, a wolf, and oddly enough a donut. The video starts with a simple text of 'Savanaclaw' that was animated to rip away. Yuu now stood in a new location with a number of rowdy students in the background.

“Secondary location~! We’re here in Savanaclaw, waiting in prep for the second round to start.”

“Queenie’s dorm really didn’t last long did they?” The camera cuts to the voice, Leona lazing in a lounge chair as he smugly smiles. The dorm leader a picture of calm and cool while the dorm continued in excited chaos around them.

“You know damn well, Riddle is getting milk injected into his bloodstream right now. Introduce yourself and pay your respects, you ass.”

The beastman simply growls, rolling his eyes, “If people don’t know who I am, then they aren’t worth the air to say my name.’ Jack’s torso manages to walk into view, arms crossed as he was clearly scolding his house-warden, “Senpai, you should introduce yourself, It’s only polite if you’re being interviewed.”

Leona huffs, locking eyes with Yuu before he gestures upward. The camera moves, showing Jack’s shocked face before his ears pin back in nervousness.

“Uh…”

“Go on runt, introduce yourself.” Leona laughs from off-screen, “It’s only polite after all.”

Jack seemed to be fighting himself, before sighing, “I’m Jack Howl…The contest sounded interesting so I wanted to test myself…”

Yuu quickly turned the camera toward themselves, smiling as they stated, “He has a bet with our firstie squad who could survive the challenge the longest.” They turn the camera back just in time to catch Jack’s embarrassed flush, the wolf beastman turning around to hide his face.

“Don’t say that! Like I would do something like this over such a stupid bet!”

Grim snickers, floating up beside Jack, “If it helps, Ace and Deuce couldn’t even finish their bowls.”

“Really?” Jack turns around, ears perked and tail wagging in mild excitement. But seeing Yuu was still filming him, he scoffed and turned back around, stomping away from them.

Yuu giggles, filming Grim floating in the air as he cackles at Jack’s reaction before they catch someone walking in the background.

“Excuse me, good sir, the fuck?”

Ruggie’s ears twitch, turning around with an uneasy-going grin. In his arms, he carried a number of large empty food containers, “Hey there buddy of mine. What ya need? I’m a little busy.”

“The fuck are you doing with a sales lady’s worth of Tupperware?”

Lifting the containers in his arms, Ruggie simply shrugged, “What? There’s probably gonna be leftovers. I’m just being responsible, can’t have perfectly good food going to waste.”

“Rug-ward, I’m begging you to have respect for yourself. Don’t eat other’s scraps.”

“Free food is free food, prefect, don’t know what to tell ya.”

Yuu turns the camera back to their face, an annoyed scowl clear, "That was Rug-ward Bucci the fifth, everyone. Taking self-respect to new lows."

"Ey!"

"Oi, when is this starting? I'm gonna leave if this takes any longer."

The camera moves back to Leona's lounging figure, "Leona." Yuu waited until the beastman was looking toward them, "Shut up."

The view just barely pulled away as Leona’s hand springs up, his middle finger held out proudly. Yuu blew the camera a kiss, winking coyly, “Leona Kingscholar. Sorry to the masses, he’s single.”

Off-screen, Ruggie shouts out in mild annoyance, “No, he’s not!”

“O-oh, fuck!” Yuu barely managed to stop her choking laugh, looking to the side in surprise. As Yuu giggled, Grim popped into view, a big grin on his face.

“Food’s here! Turn the camera off!”

“Grim! Hold on!” Yuu wrestles the camera from Grim’s paws, smiling while keeping Grim at a distance, “Welp, round two is about to start! Let’s wish our Savanaclaw contestants luck! Also, fuck Leona Kingscholar, that is all.” “Fuck off, prefect!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

After the ads, the video started again. Yuu was now shown under a table, the sounds of people yelling heard from under the cloth, “Yeah, I don’t know what I was expecting. The second someone started winning, everyone started fighting and that turned into a food fight. Which, if you’ve ever rubbed your eyes after cutting peppers, is a horrible idea…”

Hearing the sounds of the brawl ending, Yuu crawled out from under the table and showed the area. Broken plates and spilled noodles were everywhere, some Savanaclaw members were seen on the ground curled in on themselves as they squirmed in pain, no doubt in agony from stray spice sauce in their eyes.

Jack was seen, openly sweating with his ears pinned back, tongue out as he panted. His bowl was death-gripped in his hands, empty and somehow not shattered into pieces from Jack’s strength. His distressed expression morphs into a stern glare, shoving his bowl forward to show that it was empty.

Yuu’s gave a thumbs up, “Good job, Jack! Go take a cold shower, you are literally coated in sweat. It’s gross.”

They turn away just as Jack lets out a tired groan, head tipping back in a mock howl of agony. Instead, the camera catches Ruggie walking through the set-up tables. The hyena beastman dumped half-empty bowls into his waiting Tupperware containers. The 2nd year even taking time to slurp up a few stray noodles.

“Ruginald! My god! Stop it!”

He shrugged, glaring over to Yuu and making sure to harshly tip a bowl into a container, “Don’t you scold me! I don’t have to pay for lunch or dinner for like two weeks with all this!”

“Did you even compete!?”

Ruggie simply waved them away, once he knew there was no cash prize, the hyena had no reason to actually compete in the hellish contest. But, having access to free food was always good in his book.

Yuu groans, scanning the crowd before finally spotting the house-warden. Leona was back in his lounge chair, stretched out and eyes closed as contained chaos rang out around him. Yuu stood over him with the camera in his face, waiting for the 3rd year to acknowledge their presence.

Groaning, Leona cracked an eye open, “What…?”

“Your results, your royal highness.”

He clicks his tongue, reaching under his chair and pulling out an empty bowl.

“...Mother fucker, did you cheat!?”

Leona only smirked, closing his eye and putting the completely clean bowl back under his chair, “You stated we needed to show a cleared bowl to get the win. Maybe I liked it so much I licked it clean.”

Yuu reached over, managing to bypass Leona’s batting tail to flick the beastman on the ear, “Dirty fucking cheater. A point for you, I guess. Rather you just cheat instead of actually causing a riot like last time.”

Their scolding didn’t dampen Leona’s smirk. He only lifted his hand to show his middle finger to the camera.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The third post was titled with a coral branch, bubbles, an octopus, and weirdly enough, two eel emojis. The video opened seemingly underwater, fish swimming leisurely in the tinted lighting as cursive letters spell out 'Octavinelle' before fading. Smooth jazz played throughout the area, the camera movements suddenly smoother and showcasing the classy decor of the room.

The camera sweeps over other dorm members, sitting poised and ready in suits before the camera is brought over to a two-seated table. Azul sat across the table from Yuu, smiling and tilting his head in greeting while Yuu started speaking.

“Welcome back! I’m here in the opulent Mostro Lounge, with self-made man, Azul Ashengrotto. The owner of said lounge has been oh so kind as to allow us to host in his establishment during prime operation hours.”

Azul smiled, showing his teeth as he turned to Yuu, placing a hand over theirs, “Yes! But, as the house-warden of the house of benevolence, it was only right for me to allow my dear pearl to use my venue for their little contest.” He closes his eyes, bringing Yuu's hand to kiss their knuckles gently.

Yuu nods at Azul’s speech, though their eyes clearly state Azul was already toeing some kind of line with his teasing, “Well said, Azul. But that’s right folks! Our third location is under the sea in the Octavinelle dorm. Maybe the cool waters will ease the fiery spice challenge.”

“But, if it does prove too much,” Azul leans off to the side for a moment, grabbing a glass from a tray from an off-screen Floyd, “Try our newest drink to cool down. Ocean Lemon-Maid. Only at the Mostro Lounge for this week to celebrate Night Raven College’s first annual Spice Endurance Challenge.”

Yuu keeps smiling but strains to whisper, “Are you really using this to fucking advertise that damn drink…”

Azul smiles back at Yuu, fully turning to offer them the blue ombre drink, “Well, how about a free sample? Only for you though, my dear.”

“What, I can’t try it!?” Grim’s voice calls out from somewhere off-camera.

“No.” Azul didn’t even turn his head, eyes only flickering toward the camera in a brief annoyed glance.

Yuu leans closer to Azul, whispering coyly in his ear, “Let him have some.”

Azul visibly shivers on screen, placing the drink down before turning toward the camera with a mildly flushed face, “Cut the recording.” Without waiting for an affirmative, he turned back to Yuu, “No, I’m not letting him have any. You know Grim can’t hold a glass for more than 10 seconds.”

“Pwease~? Look at him, he’s wasting away!” Yuu rests their head against Azul’s shoulder, their arm reaching behind him to twirl his long strand of hair.

The two of them engage in a near-silent conversation, Yuu clearly sneaking in a few flirtatious comments if Azul’s flustered expression was anything to note.

Floyd groans, stepping into frame to cross his arms at the two of them, “Are you guys really gonna sit here and be gross until we start? You could have done this in Azul’s office and I wouldn’t have had to wear this dumb tie!”

Jade speaks from behind the camera, “Floyd, you’re supposed to wear your tie anyway. Just think of it as a favor Azul will have to owe you later.”

“I didn’t agree to that.”

“Yay! Azul, you’ll owe me a big favor later, okay?”

“I didn’t agree to that!?”

“Ah~! Babe, how benevolent of you.” Yuu cups Azul’s opposite cheek, pulling him closer to press a kiss to the cheek closest to them. Pulling away and smiling at the blueish blush creeping on his face, “What a kind and giving boyfriend I have. Makes me feel so lucky to be with you~.”

Azul only pushed his glasses up, a smile on his face while he tried to get his hearts under control, “Well…It only makes sense! I am truly the most generous person you know, my pearl. As your lover, it is a goal to ensure you have all your heart desires.”

“I know. Grim, you can try the drink.”

“Wha-” “YEAH!” Grim swoops into view, grabbing the glass cup with both of his paws before zipping away and cackling.

A few moments pass by before Azul turns to Yuu with an annoyed glare, “Really?”

“I’ll make sure to pay you back if he breaks the glass.”

Azul rolls his eyes, scoffing under his breath, “With what money?”

“I’ll pay you back the way we both like.”

The blue blush returns full force once Azul realizes just what Yuu was offering him.

Jade speaks up again, angling the camera slightly downward, “I’m not sure if Cater-San can use this in his video.”

“...” Azul snaps over to Jade, surprised expression changing into a glare, “Are you still filming!?”

The sound of glass breaking off-screen makes Azul groan before he stands, stomping off toward an apologizing Grim.

Yuu smiles, waving at the camera as Floyd shoves his face into their space. His sharp teeth on display as he smiles with his arms wrapped around Yuu’s shoulders. From the background, they could hear Azul scolding Grim and listing off a number of chores the cat monster would be forced to do just to make up for breaking a single glass. Jade soon angles the camera to allow himself to be in frame with his brother and Yuu.

"Guess that leaves me with these two! Jade and Floyd Leech. And if you think you know their family, no you don't."

“The ghosts shall be here soon.” Jade smiles, his own sharp teeth just barely shown, “Round Three will begin shortly.”

“Thank you for the transition point, Jade. Join us in a few moments to see if Octavinelle will sink or swim!”

“Hehehehe, Shrimpy’s got puns!”

~*~*~*~*~*~

“As you can see, things did not go well.” Yuu held the camera up, a hand patting Azul’s back. The Octo-Mer was hunched over, coughing wildly as he struggled, “At the very least no one’s-Op, spoke too soon. Jade’s on the floor…”

The camera moves, showing Jade face down on the ground. Floyd was shown pacing around the background rubbing at his own tongue with a cloth. In a furious motion, the Eel-Mer whining about the burning. The other Octavinelle students were in various states of distress, most of them all with the bright blue drink on their tables. Trey could also be seen in the background, giving out small baggies of what seemed to be whipped cream to those without the drink.

Yuu turns the camera back to their face, just in time for Azul to brace himself against their side, his other hand clutching onto a glass of lemonade.

“Remember! Ocean Lemon-Maid to cool your burning taste buds! Only at Mostro Lounge for a limited time!” With that, he turned away, chugging the iced juice until the glass was empty. Yuu watched him slam the glass on the table, jumping at the loud clank fearing it would break from the impact.

Azul takes a gasping breath and then looks at the glass still in his grasp, “That actually worked…?”

“Motherfu-I told you lemonade helps with spicy food, you asshole!”

“You tell me…a lot of things, my pearl.” Azul looks at the camera with a strained smile, knowing he had basically admitted to possibly false advertisement plus underestimating his beloved date-mate, “I’m simply pleasantly surprised that it was just as delicious and effective as you said it would be!”

Yuu huffs, walking away as Azul tries to call out to them, “Yeah, yeah. You’re lucky, you’re so cute, you sunshine punk.” Walking over to Trey, Yuu tugged at his sleeve, “Trey, is everybody okay at Heartslabyul?”

“Yeah.” Trey smiles, waving to the camera before focusing on Yuu, “Everyone’s calmed down or are resting, so I decided to make some more whipped cream and bring it to the other dorms to help out.”

Jade popped up, face beet red and slightly sweaty. He rested his cheek against his palm, leaning on his elbow on the floor, “Oh Trey-San, so dependable as always…”

“Hello, Jade.” Trey held out a baggy of whipped cream, smiling at Jade trying to appear in his normal state of suave. He instead jumped when Floyd ripped the baggie from his hands, shoving the plastic and all into his mouth, “F-Floyd! The plastic-!”

Jade simply waved off Trey’s worry, not even flinching as his brother tore apart the baggie and nearly ate the plastic, “It’s fine, he’s eaten worse.”

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next video was titled with a snake, a genie lamp, and a sun emoji. Opening from a bird’s eye view of the massive dorm as 'Scarabia' faded into frame only to be blown away as if it was made of sand. The camera flew around the area, showcasing the ornate landscaping then quickly landed beside a waiting Yuu and Grim, Kalim’s voice coming from behind the lens.

“Was that good? Using the carpet to get the whole dorm in shot was such a good idea, Jamil!”

Jamil walked past the frame, glancing over as he carried a tray of precut meats and vegetables to a hotpot set up away from the other tables. He set the tray on the table, walking over to slip an arm around Yuu's waist and pressing a kiss on their cheek before answering Kalim. “It was a simple idea. No need for the praise-"

Yuu reaches up, squishing Jamil’s cheeks in a single hand, smiling at the annoyed glance he gives them, "Shut up and take the compliment, you beautiful bastard."

Jamil keeps eye contact, clicking his tongue before pulling his face away. He doesn't stay away for long, tilting his head to rest against Yuu's, "Anyway. Here, Kalim. Since you can't participate, I took the liberty of making you a hotpot selection. The oil should be up to temp by now…"

Grim had floated over, mildly grappling with the house-warden before he had the camera in his paws telling them they needed to introduce themselves. Kalim's smiling face came into view, hands braced on his hips as he nearly shouted out, "I'm Kalim al Asim! And I'm super excited to see what the ghosts made! Jamil cooks for all of us all the time and he has a way better spice tolerance than most people. We're used to eating spicy food in Scarabia!"

The camera quickly turns to Jamil, the dark-eyed student raising an eyebrow before nodding his head, "Jamil Viper, vice warden of Scarabia." Jamil let a small smirk form on his face, pulling Yuu closer to speak to them directly, "This will be a very fun 'challenge', spicy food is basically a daily part of life in the Scalding Sands. Though…it'll be nice to be cooked for by someone else for once…"

Kalim frowned, turning to pout at Jamil, "Hey! I cooked just last week!"

"Kalim, I'm glad you're trying to learn to feed yourself, but a bag of warmed-up trail mix with half-melted cheese is not an actual meal."

The house-warden looks away, mumbling under his breath with a pout, "I'm proud of my girl dinners…"

"Yeah…about that." Yuu smiles sheepishly, hip bumping against Jamil’s teasingly, "I was pretty sure you guys would breeze through this challenge so~...I called in help from a guest chef!"

"...Guest chef…?"

Kalim perks up, waving to someone off-screen in the distance, "Lilia!? What are you doing here!?"

Jamil felt an intense sense of dread seeing the Diasomnia student for some reason, "What?"

Yuu grabs the camera, smiling wide as they bring it closer, "Time to put those scalding sands to the test! Who will win? Scarabia or Fae-powered spicy home cooking! Find out after the ads!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

Yuu's face was in frame as the video came back, "Ok, in hindsight, this could count as a war crime and I am very sorry."

All around, the Scarabia students were in deep distress. Many of them simply laying prone on the ground or face down on the tables. The only ones who still seemed able-bodied were the ones in front of untouched bowls of black and purple-tinted masses of "noodles". Lilia could be seen floating over the crowd, a pout on his face as he surveyed the students.

"Hmmm…maybe the milk I used for the sauce had gone bad? I don't know why all of you got so sick…"

The camera angles over to Kalim, the dorm leader looking at his classmates with a confused yet panicked expression, "I should…call someone, right?"

"Yeah…yeah, call the nurse…or a hazmat team, either or. Jamil…Jamil, baby, you ok?"

Jamil stood braced against a wall with an almost clawing grasp, an empty bowl marked with blacked sludge clutched in his other hand. The second year panted in a clearly distressed pattern, body slicked with sweat and shaking.

"...Babe, you did not have to actually finish the bowl. You would have gotten the win just from tasting it…"

The glare Jamil throws over his shoulder would have been vicious if it didn't look like an angry toddler on the verge of tears. Only to have his face pale and snap back toward the wall, a loud retching sound being heard before Yuu moved the camera away and set it on a table.

"OH! Okay, good God. Alright. Hold on, babe, I'm coming. Grim, go get Trey from Octavinelle!"

Yuu rushes over, the vomiting sounds only getting worse, Grim being seen floating in the opposite direction with a grossed out face before the video ends.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The next video had the emoji title of a crown, a bullseye, an apple, and a sparkle. The opening was the highest quality yet, showcasing the grand design of the dorm and even wilderness shots. Smooth transitions only showing this was a prepared film roll meant to only present the best the dorm had to offer. The opening ends with elegant lettering titled 'Pomefiore' before the image fades into Vil and Yuu sitting on a loveseat in the Pomefiore lounge.

"Welcome back, cuties. I'm here with Vil Shoenheit in the Pomefiore lounge for the next part of the Spice Endurance Challenge-"

"Why is this still going?"

"Hm?" Yuu blinks, tilting their head in false confusion while Vil looks at them with crossed arms, "...It's still going because we aren't done, Vil."

"You subjected all of Scarabia to what could only be classified as Chemical Warfare. That's plenty of reason to end this nonsensical little "event" you managed to strong-arm Crowley into approving."

"You know Vil, just because you can't eat seasoning past waving a salt shaker at your food, doesn't mean other people don't like it."

"Jamil has food poisoning, Yuu."

"He's fine."

"80% of Scarbia is in the infirmary."

"They're. Fiiiiiine…"

Vil sighed, rolling his eyes and flicking open a pocket mirror. As he checked over his lipstick, he muttered, "Just finish your mediocre intro. Neither you nor Cater have the funds to book me on film for long."

"Primadonna Bitch- anyway, Cuties! Vil here is actually very knowledgeable about food science and is kind enough to give us a crash course in the health benefits and downfalls of a spice-heavy diet.

" It's my pleasure, Yuu." Vil snaps the mirror closed, placing it in his sleeve with a fluid motion before looking toward the camera, "The compound found inside spicy foods known as "Capcaisin" has been shown in moderate amounts to increase metabolism, improve digestive health, and even extend lifespans in some cases. But the true downfall comes from excessive consumption of it. Leading to a number of issues involving extreme irritation of tissue both internal and external. It's also been shown to increase bad cholesterol in cases."

Vil turns to Yuu, smiling sweetly as he tilts his head in a clearly practiced movement, "Which is why I feel this challenge is not only foolish but dangerous for my dorm."

Yuu smiles back, copying Vil's head tilt in a mocking over-performed mirroring, " Don't worry Vil. One day you'll be able to handle spicy food like Salsa or Wheat Bread."

The dorm head looked one second away from poisoning his co-host, only to be interrupted by the voice behind the camera.

"Ah~! I'm so excited to see the level of spiciness we will be graced with today! It's always a pleasant treat to enjoy a food that has the power to physically impact the body."

"Oh, you like spicy food Rook?" Yuu had stood from the couch, leaving behind a calmed Vil, and grabbed the camera. Turning it around to show the bob-haired student, "May I introduce the hunter of beauty and love, Rook Hunt."

Rook smiled, closing his eyes as he gave a polite half bow, "Bonjour beautés! And to answer mon vieille amor, I indulge in spicy food if it is the culture of the area my family visits on our yearly vacation. The smell, the taste, the visuals! Spicy food is another form of beauty that I adore exploring. This challenge will be a test of mon skills!"

"Well, I'm glad someone," the camera swings back quickly, just barely showing Vil in focus before moving back to Rook's smiling face, "is excited for my fun, wholesome challenge!"

Vil speaks up from behind the camera, "Scarabia. Infirmary. Chemical Warfare."

The sound of the door clicking open pulls their attention to it. The camera focuses on a startled Epel, the first year not expecting to walk into being filmed. He tried to hide it, sheepishly brushing his hair with his fingers as he cleared his throat.

"The dining room is ready. Everyone who was approved to compete is waiting to start." He smiled gently at the camera, his practiced persona coming across as calm and pleasant.

Rook exclaims off-camera, moving toward the door and starting to wax poetic about the challenge. Holding the door open for Vil to walk through, the house-warden going to look over the event and make sure his dormmates weren't slacking in their table manners.

Once the two third years were out of the room, Yuu turned the camera toward Epel, “The myth, the legend. Epel Felmier, anything to say to the masses about your upcoming challenge?”

Epel walks beside them, looking in front of them. After checking that Vil and Rook weren’t looking at them, he turned to the camera. His serene expression changed to a wicked almost cocky smirk, the hint of a southern twang coming into his voice, “Those other losers are goin' fuckin' down-”

“Epel!”

The lavender-haired first-year snaps back into a “proper” look, “I didn’t do noth-ahem- I haven’t done anything!” He rushes forward, running to catch up with his upperclassmen.

Yuu moves the camera to their face, sticking out their tongue and winking before the video cuts.

~*~*~*~*~*~

The video comes back from the ad roll. Yuu is seen standing beside Vil as he gives out small glasses of chocolate milk. They lean closer to Vil, smiling as the third year looks at them from the corner of his eye, "Wow, that was boring as shit."

Vil stealthily elbows Yuu in the sternum, just enough to jostle her off of his person but not enough to hurt, "If by boring, you must mean civilized. Or maybe mannered. I'll even accept refined."

"That's what I said. Boring." Yuu walks the floor, showing the many unfinished bowls, "Most took one slurp of noodles and instantly forfeited. But, Vil made them sit and suffer through the spice until the buzzer rang since they made the choice to do the challenge. Some actually managed to finish though."

Yuu moves the camera toward Rook. The Florian smiling with a red face but mostly unfazed, taking small sips of his chilled milk.

"Was it good, Rook?"

"It was wondrous! The taste reminded me of a family-owned business ma famille visited at the edge of the Scalding Sands in my youth. I will admit, I believe this was spicier! All in all, beauté! 100 points from me!"

"I'm so glad!" The camera moves over to Epel, the first year hunched over with his hands gripping onto his knees as he panted, "How about you, Epel? Did you have fun?"

The shorter first year doesn't turn around, only lifting one of his arms to flip the bird.

"EPEL!"

Epel finally looks up, glaring over his shoulder at Vil. His face was bright red, sweat clearly dripping down his face. His shirt was unbuttoned, his tie undone and hanging limply around his neck. Shaking his head, he looked over to Grim, the cat monster lazily slurped up noodles from the unfinished bowls, "Time!?"

Grim huffed, eyes looking to the wall clock to his left. Chewing before he swallowed, "You're at 3 minutes."

"GAWD DAUMN’IT!"

"EPEL!"

Yuu chuckles, "Just take the milk, Epel." They shake their head as Epel waves Vil away, nonverbally telling the house-warden to leave him alone, “Epel, you’re suffering. Just drink the damn milk.”

“No!” The first-year groans at Vil’s glare, shaking his head as though it would shake the spice out of his mouth, “ ‘m nawt givin’ up til ah outlast those two bootlickers at least!”

“You’re drooling on the nice rug, Epel. Tap out before Vil makes us cut the cameras to beat your ass.”

“FUCK OFF BEFORE AH CREAM YAWR CORN!”

“Before you what my what!?” Yuu laughs, almost dropping the camera from their shaking. Their laughter only grew stronger seeing Vil’s figure walking into frame and covering the camera before the feed cuts.

~*~*~*~*~*~

This opening was the shortest so far. A black screen with bright blue lights lining out blocky text to spell 'Ignihyde' before the text enlarges. The text engulfs the screen, transitioning to show Yuu lounging on a futuristic couch with a giddy Ortho sitting on the armrest.

" Welcome back, Cuties! I'm here in the cutting-edge Ignihyde lounge with the darling of the underworld, Ortho Shroud."

Ortho waved happily, eyes closed to show the illusion of a smile, "Hello everyone! I'm happy I was asked to help host this segment. Ignihyde will do their best to win this challenge! We've had nights where we trained by eating spicy chips and candy. I believe the overall spice tolerance of the dorm increased by 18.7%!"

Yuu leans closer to Ortho, giving a stage whisper, "Is that high?"

Ortho leans just as close, eyes wide as he nodded softly, "Yes. Those are very good numbers."

"Well, you heard the numbers folks! Ignihyde could take the crown!"

"CROWN!?"

The camera wipes over to the shout. Huddled out of sight were most of the challengers. But seeing the camera focused on them, they began to scatter and shove at each other. Idia was the unlucky one left behind, even though he was the one who shouted.

He shied away from the lens, lips pressed together in a frown as he scrambled to pull his hood over his head, "Y-you…you said that the prize was a class credit…what am I supposed to do with some dumb IRL crown…?"

Ortho fell into view, thankfully shielding his brother from view and helping to calm his nerves, "Nii-San! Think about it though. If we had a physical crown, we could display it! It'll be a conversation starter for new students and a point of pride!"

Idia simply sulked harder, almost appearing to fold under an invisible weight as his back hunched farther, "I was gonna use that free credit to get out of gym for the semester…what am I gonna do now…?"

"Nii-San…"

Yuu smiled from their seat, standing up to grab the camera from Grim and walk closer to Idia, ignoring him trying to close his hoodie opening around his face, " C'mon, Idia! You may not have a free class credit, but you get a free crown~. Think of the cosplay potential!"

"..." Idia slowly perked up, mumbling under his breath, "There is…the King of the Soul Darks cosplay I've been wanting to try…having a crown already made would save time if I don't have to change it up too much…" With a frown and panic still clear on his face, Idia turns back to Yuu and nods, "Fine…"

"Great! You were going to do it anyway since you agreed to in the first place. A verbal contract is still a contract, Idia, and I'm not above dragging you through a whole legal process over it.."

"Geez! Why are you always so aggro to me!?" He scowls, turning to sulk as the tips of his hair flicker into a red hue, "I swear I thought you and Azul-Shi dating would nerf you both, it just buffed your worst stats instead. Not to mention all the debuff attacks you gained from getting Jamil-Shi and Malleus-Shi…"

Yuu laughs from behind the camera, shooing Idia away, "Yeah, yeah. Go cry about it at the table. The ghosts will be here soon."

Ortho floated behind Idia, brows downturn as he whined slightly, "Nii-San! You promised you'd do the event since you said it was too dangerous for me to do!" His expression perked up, tilting his head in a show of excitement, " But, if you really don't want to do it, I'll compete in your place!"

"No, Ortho." Idia shakes his head, taking his seat at the head of the table, "I normally don't mind making the proper upgrades for you to taste and eat food. But the level of spice that was advertised got me worried about the internal damage your wiring could take. I'm all for you having fun, but not at your own risk…"

"Ah…that's true…but if you really don't want to…"

Idia smiles, small and soft as he ruffles the flames on Ortho's head, "I'm fine. I'm upset the loot isn't gonna be as good as I thought. But loot is loot ya know? Plus, you did help me grind for this. It'd be a waste to let all your hard work go untested."

"Omg, y'all cute as fuck."

Ortho giggles, eyes closing in joy as Idia turns to the camera with a glare, "Do you mine? This is a family-only cut scene here…"

The sound of Grim yelling broke their moment, the cat monster yelling about seeing the familiar line of ghosts entering the pocket dimension.

Yuu angles the camera back to their face, smiling and throwing up a peace sign, "It's that time again, Cuties! Who will win? The Spice of Life or the Spawn of Hades? Find out after this commercial break!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

The camera cuts back to screaming.The whole of Ignihyde surrounded Idia as he struggled to slurp up the noodles in his bowl, face red and the color slowly spreading into his hair. The other dorm members all shouted encouragement, chanting out Idia’s name and let out a wild cheer when he swallowed the last of the noodles.

Yuu points to the bowl from out of frame, managing to yell over the cheering Ignihyde members, "You gotta drink the broth! The broth!"

Idia gives out a frustrated yell, but grabs onto the bowl and brings it to his face. The chant changed from his name to a simple 'Chug'. Yuu swings the camera around, showing the other dorm members in their various states of post-spice consumption. But closest in the crowd were Cater and Ortho, each cheering on either of Idia’s sides.

Before long, the sound of a bowl hitting the table made the crowd go wild. Ignihyde yelled and jumped around. A simple victory but one that the dorm would be sure to hold over anyone who brought up the challenge. At that point, they were the only dorm that managed to have everyone finish their bowls.

Yuu cheers, moving the camera to show her and Grim joining the hug that Ortho and Cater engulfed Idia in, " He did it! He finished the bowl of broth and all! The spawn of Hades beat the Spice of Life!!!"

The video ends on Idia’s teary smile, the house-warden smiling through the burning to give a peace sign.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Diasomnia was intimidating, even through the medium of film. Yuu only showed the large imposing castle against the dark sky, the silence of their boots crunching on dried dirt.

Opening the massive doors, Yuu is greeted by a few Diasomnia students, most of them jumping up and rushing to the dining room upon seeing them. Walking to the seemingly mile-long dining hall, Yuu quickly ran to the end of the table, "Malleus! I'm here!"

The Draconia heir looks up from the table, smiling brightly and opening his arms to accept their hug. Chuckling as Yuu makes themselves at home in his lap, "Child of man. I'm glad you've come. I was beginning to worry you had forgotten about me…"

Yuu coos, camera angled away but you could hear the over dramatic sounds of them pressing kisses to Malleus's face, "I could never forget you. You're too tall for that."

Pulling away, Yuu laughs, showing Malleus's pouting face before showing the camera a snoozing Silver, "Silver!"

Aurora eyes snap open, looking around in brief panic before he calms. Making eye contact, he eased back into his normal neutral expression, "Oh, Yuu. It's starting soon then?"

"Yep! You guys are the last dorm of the night so let's try to get this wrapped up nice and neat. Roll call boys!"

Silver nods, sitting up straighter in his chair, "I'm Silver…VanRouge. I'm not sure if I enjoy spicy food…but Lilia said this would be a good experience and excuse to find out."

The camera moves, Sebek nearly sending his chair to the floor from how fast he stood up, "Im Sebek Zigvolt! The only reason I'm doing this pitiful human challenge is to show the might of not only Diasomnia, but of Waka-Sama himself!"

Yuu moved closer, speaking in a stage whisper to Sebek's serious expression, "Hey Sebek, can you yell louder? I think the dead are still asleep."

Sebek's frown only grew deeper, clearly biting his tongue to not insult his employer's lover.

The camera moved to show Malleus, the horned fae still pouting and remaining silent.

"..." Yuu tilts their head, "Peligroso?"

"...Do you really only remember me because I'm tall?"

"Oh my God. Sebek hold this." The camera was shoved into Sebek's hands. The first-year fumbling and turned it off briefly. When the camera cuts back in, Yuu is on Malleus's lap. Yuu was asking Sebek to double-check check the camera was on again as Malleus happily hummed into Yuu's neck.

Yuu had to prompt him to look up and acknowledge the camera to introduce himself, "I am Malleus Draconia, heir of Briar Valley. I'm curious to see if the human concept of 'spicy' will even register to my pallet."

"Because you can breathe fire, you think you can't taste if food is spicy?" Yuu tilts their head in question, comfortably lounging in Malleus's hold, giggling when the fae responds by breathing a smoke ring at them.

The camera was forcibly moved, ruby eyes glittering in excitement, "Hello~! You saw me earlier today as a guest chef! I'm Lilia VanRouge. I'm so excited for this challenge!" He pouts, releasing his hold on the camera to float over Malleus and Yuu, "Though I am mildly upset. They wouldn't let me cook for our dorm like I did for Scarabia…"

"Well Lilia, you are competing. It'd be a conflict of interest." Not to mention his food would simply take out the whole dorm that he did Scarabia…

Silver shuddered briefly, thankful he didn't have to eat his father's idea of 'spicy food'. Once the phantom stomach pains had ended, he questioned Yuu, "Did you not come with Grim?"

"He stopped at the kitchen to see if he could get a bowl before the challenge started. He's done pretty well waiting at each challenge all day so this was to be expected…"

No more than 10 minutes had passed before Grim rushed into the room, crashing into Yuu's arms. He looked up with a panicked expression, "We gotta cancel."

"What?"

Jamil suddenly appeared, covering Grim's mouth and pulling him off Yuu's lap, "Don't mind him. He's just mad I didn't let him have any of the food."

Lilia perks up, smiling at the Scarabia student, "Oh Jamil! So good to see you up again. Feeling better I see?"

"Oh, I'm going to."

Yuu climbs off Malleus's lap, smiling nervously at Jamil’s calm expression, "Hey Jamil…babe

…were you…in the kitchen?"

"Yes. I decided to pay Lilia back for giving our dorm such a challenge. So I convinced the ghosts to let me be a guest chef."

"..." Yuu smiles to the camera, making eye contact with Sebek who seemed just as on edge as they were, "Riiiiight…Well! I guess I'm right to assume the ghosts- oh! There they are! Sebek, give Grim the camera and go sit."

Sebek mumbled briefly, stating that Yuu wasn't 'the boss of him' before handing the camera to a nervous Grim. Yuu realized why Grim was nervous. The food was hot, of course, but the smell was much different than the standard spicy noodles every other dorm had gotten. The scent was almost painful. Clear, bright orange flecks are seen in the steamy broth. A few students were already tearing up from the vapors alone, turning away to try to clear their eyes.

"..." Yuu whispers, standing beside a smiling Jamil, "Babe, what the fuck did you do?"

Jamil shrugged, looking at the camera with a serene smile, "Oh I just added some dried peppers that I had in the Scarabia kitchen that Kalim had imported. A few sauces from my personal stash. A few tablespoons of pure capcaisin."

"Jamil…" Yuu was struggling to not laugh, realizing the actual danger Jamil had just brought into the dorm, "Jamil, there's innocent people here."

He reaches over, his hand gripping onto Yuu's chin to keep them in place as he turns his head. Almost hissing out with a growl from his throat, "I don't care."

"Jamil." Their laughter was high, amused but on the edge of hysteria.

Silver looked into the bowl before him. Raising his hand as he followed his gut, "I'd like to forfeit."

The Scarbia student nodded, mildly disappointed one of his victims had the brain cells to drop out, "That'd be for the best."

Yuu looked to the camera, smiling through the worry, "If you're watching, pray for them!"

~*~*~*~*~*~

"You could have killed someone."

Jamil’s satisfied smile slid into an annoyed frown, raising an eyebrow in question, "What do you call what happened in Scarabia?"

"A miscalculation. This was just attempted manslaughter, again."

Grim floated over the 'remains' of Diasomnia. Silver doing his best to help Trey pass out baggies of whipped cream or casting cooling charms on the groaning students. Malleus sat at the head of the table, hands clasped tightly and face tense, but still pale. Sebek lay prone on the floor, eyes closed as if he was sleeping. The only hint that he had taken part in the challenge was that his face was beet red, almost glowing.

Lilia stood braced against a wall, taking deep and slow breaths. His jacket and vest were off, anything to keep his body cool. He looked over his shoulder, face carrying a decent blush from the heat, "What did you use?"

"Trade secret."

"Hmmp. I suppose. We really must cook together Jamil! I haven't had food with such a kick since I first had Scalding Sands cuisine! Though…next time maybe use a bit less of your 'trade secret'? It was so spicy I couldn't taste anything…"

Jamil smiles, shrugging and moving to leave the room, "Aw. Too bad. But, I guess we'll see if I have the time in my schedule." He stops at Yuu, pressing a kiss to their cheek and waving goodbye, "Later."

Shaking their head, they watch their boyfriend leave, "He really showed up, committed a crime, and said 'Later'." Their gaze turns to Malleus, the fae staring down at the table as though it would unlock untold secrets, "Malleus? You okay?"

The fae looks up, frowning before he tried to speak. Instead of words, all that came out of his open mouth was a ball of green fire. The flames thankfully stopped the moment he closed his mouth, though it left the table heavily scorched.

"O-oh! Oh, baby boy…was it spicy?" Yuu laughs at the pout Malleus sends their way. They walk over to nuzzle and press kisses to Malleus's cheeks, Grim turning away from them to film Sebek's still form.

Moments pass before Grim calls out, "Hey, is he breathing?"

…

Silver walks over, a finger placed under Sebek's nose to check his breathing.

…

"..." Silver breathes a sigh of relief, "He's breathing."

Yuu speaks up, "Okay, he needs a whole ass hospital…"

~*~*~*~*~*~

The final video opened with Yuu sitting in the Ramshackle lounge, the fireplace alight and casting the room in a warm glow as they stroked a sleeping Grim.

"Well, Cuties. We had a fun day. We saw some sights, heard some sounds, committed a few crimes. A successful prank if I do say so myself."

Yuu pauses smiling at the camera before they nod, "Yes. A prank. This was all a little joke that I now realize, I probably shouldn't have done. I forget sometimes that Night Raven boys are competitive, and vicious, and a little stupid." Their laughter momentarily disturbed Grim. The cat monster huffs on their lap until they quiet down.

Once they were sure Grim was peacefully sleeping, Yuu looked back to the camera, "But in all seriousness, I'm not taking responsibility for the various food crimes committed on film today. Like…Lilia was a mistake that I should have seen coming. I did not know Jamil was going to come in with the fucking chair at the last round…I hope the nurse isn't mad at me. She's a nice lady…"

They shrug, "Well, Cuties. That's all for today from me! This is Yuu signing off and let's hope you don't see me hosting a challenge again, because at this point I fear I will actually get someone killed with my cruel and unusual torture methods. Or as I like to call them, Funny Little Ha-Ha's."

Yuu smiles, waving as the video fades to black.

#twisted wonderland #twst #disney twst #twst wonderland #yuu oc #malleus x yuu #azul x yuu #jamil x yuu #twst heartslabyul #twst savanaclaw #twst octavinelle #twst scarabia #twst pomefiore #twst ignihyde #twst diasomnia

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rythasbrenelle · 16 days

Text

Prompt #3: Tempest

“Cutting it close there, traveler. Blizzard’s right on your heels, no?” The guard’s voice reverberated behind her metal faceplate. Locke didn’t miss the way she sized him up through the gap between faceplate and coif, icy blue eyes flicking up and down. Though her eyes lingered on his weapons, sympathy tinged her gaze as she appraised him, wet and half-frozen as he was.

“Inn?” he inquired through chattering teeth.

“First building on your left. I recommend you get a hot bath as soon as you can.” She motioned toward a nearby stone structure, tall by Locke’s reckoning but utterly dwarfed by the tower of stone, glass, and light looming over the settlement. Some sort of device, a long tube mounted upon the parapet, crowned the tower. A cannon, he supposed. “And welcome to the Observatorium.”

Locke sniffled, muttered his thanks, and marched past.

Closer to the inn, he spotted a familiar wagon set off to one side, wind and snow batting at its canvas roof. It seemed Sosonado had made it to safety. Good tidings, if only because it meant Locke would be paid. He hoped the chocobos who’d pulled the wagon were being kept somewhere warm.

Locke shoved the double doors open, a gust of air following him into the room and banging the doors against the stone before he pushed them shut again. The noise drew the nearest eyes to him, but not much more than that.

The common room, small though it was, was a whirlwind of activity. A varied throng of patrons — civilians, travelers, off-duty guards, and men and women wearing tall hats — crowded the hearth and spilled out from there, seated in the nearest chairs and leaning against the closest tables. They were absorbed in their own conversations, a mess of tangled chatter Locke wasted no time on unraveling.

“He loaded his firearm! ‘Six bullets,’ he told me. ‘One for every pair of these scoundrels.’ I know, I know! An impossible feat!” a voice, all rasp and gravel, recounted.

Locke glanced in the direction of the storyteller. At the center of the little audience, standing atop a round table and waving a mug about the size of his torso around as he told his tall tale, was Sosonado. Dark, spiky hair in disarray, drooping mustache and mutton chops matted together and wet with ale, but whole, happy, and thriving with his audience, captive as they were by the budding snowstorm.

Looks like he’s doing just fine. A job well done indeed.

“The gunslinger leapt from the wagon.” He hopped several Lalafell-sized strides, a pantomime of Locke’s own leap earlier that day, beer sloshing from his mug and onto one of his spectators. The unfortunate man’s yelp was drowned out by Sosonado’s impassioned narration. “Before his feet even touched the ground, bang! Two, nay, three Butchers slain with but a single single shot!”

Locke shook his head and squeezed past several of the onlookers, as well as a harried server balancing a pair of trays, to reach the bar. The bartender there looked no less vexed than the server, gesturing at Sosonado with slender, calloused fingers.

“A bell ago it was eight of those Blue Butchers. Before that, six,” she scoffed. “I reckon this gunslinger will have killed twenty of the wretches with an empty musketoon before the night’s— oh, dear, did you get caught out in the snow?”

Locke dropped onto a stool and almost sighed at the sudden sense of relief. Finally off his feet. “Yep. You sell baths? Hot, preferably.”

“Package deal with renting a bed, usually. I’m afraid all of those are spoken for, we’ve got quite the crowd on account of the storm coming, but we’ll get you a bit of privacy and a tub regardless. Free of charge.”

Locke nodded his appreciation. “And food?”

A smile flickered across the bartender’s round features. “Don’t get too greedy, food and drink will cost you. But I’m no swindler, they’ll be cheap enough. Nice blade like that, you can afford a bowl of stew or two here, yeah?”

She nodded toward the gold filigree handle of the gunblade peeking out from his shoulder. Locke spared it only a glance, noting the flecks of ice melting along its length. That probably warranted maintenance.

“Sure,” he grunted. “Bath first?”

“That seems wise,” she agreed. “Fiocant! Prepare a bath upstairs for Mr…”

“Teabrook.”

“Mr. Teabrook! And loan him some clothes, would you? Poor thing looks like an ice sprite fell into a vat of red dye! No offense.”

Locke wiped his nose against his sleeve. “That bad?”

“Pretty bad,” she admitted. She motioned as a server returned and traded their empty tray for custody of Locke. “Here he is. Fiocant will take care of you.” Fiocant was a raven-haired Elezen fellow with traces of a paunch beneath his tunic and enough height to have a tendency of looming. He acknowledged Locke with a small dip of his head. “If you’ll follow me.” Locke slid off of the stool and began to take a step, then he caught himself. Seki always said that one thing, didn’t he? His pro-verb? Good done to others is… uh, good. That didn’t sound quite right to Locke, but it made sense in a circular sort of way. So he dug through his new gil pouch and set the largest of the coins on the bar. “Thanks.” He hurried off before the bartender could reply, loping across the common room to catch up to Fiocant. A gust of frigid air met him as Fiocant pulled the doors open, reintroducing them both to the snowstorm outside.

“Wait, wait!” Heads turned, eyes following Sosonado’s wild gestures. They fell on Locke, more numerous and curious than before, and any reluctance to leave the warmth of the common room behind evaporated. “That’s him, that’s the gunslinger! Hey, mer—” Locke swung the doors shut and followed Fiocant up the stairs to the second story. He took them two at a time, his path made just a little easier by the Elezen’s larger feet and heavy boots. The journey took all of a tick, but he couldn't pass under Fiocant’s arm and into the room quickly enough.

He found himself in a set of conjoined rooms, each smaller than the common room below but furnished in its same plain, practical style. Fiocant stepped into the next room, and Locke left him to it, beelining instead to huddle before the nearby fireplace. He kicked off his boots, peeled off his socks and right glove, and shoved his digits forward, just shy of cooking them. Heat washed over them, and feeling crept back in, a dull ache to replace the numbness.

“The tub is in the other room,” Fiocant announced, filling the doorway with that looming physique of his. He removed a crystal from his pocket, hues of red glimmering beneath the surface and stepped forward to offer it to Locke. “Do you know how to use this?”

“Kinda,” he responded.

“Mm,” Fiocant hummed, his lips in a line. “Well, if you’ve forgotten, just apply a bit of will to it whenever you’d like to reheat your water, yes?”

He dropped the crystal into Locke’s waiting hand. It was warm to the touch, like a coin that had been left out in the sun. “And do enjoy your bath. There’s a change of clothes in the other room for you as well.”

Locke waited only long enough for Fiocant to step aside. Then he was off, scurrying through the adjacent chamber and into a little room large enough to hold a wooden tub, a bucket, and a clothing rack. He didn’t bother waiting for the door to finish shutting before he began to disrobe, casting aside layers of damp cloth and leather and his metal vambrace and spaulder. The room was a flurry of noise, wet thumps and ringing clangs and the splash of displaced water as he dropped into the tub, warmth washing over him from toe to jaw before he sank further into its embrace, letting it chase away the chill on his cheeks and in his ears. Only his left arm remained above the surface, its wooden exterior thrown over one side of the tub, fingers dangling limply.

It was with reluctance that he resurfaced for air. He combed his claws through his hair, pushing it out of his eyes, and shifted in the tub until he was as sprawled out as he could manage, heat and aches crawling across his body, weighing his limbs down. His gaze wandered, tracing the stonework before settling on the window.

Snow danced in the air outside, swaying to the hectic beat of the shutters and the baying of the wind. It was the first song he’d ever known, before even his mother’s lullabies. It was his constant companion in the forest and the mountains, his only company through the lonely years every Wood-warder experienced.

Locke sank lower into the water and let the storm’s song carry him off to sleep.

#FFxivWrite2024 #FFxivWrite #viera vagabond vibes #Locke's Trading Quest

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writerpey · 1 year

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Could i request a Thomas Shleby with a (1-3) gender neutral age regressor reader? If you want, maybe they could be a peaky blinder's sibling (not a Shelby, maybe Isaiah Jesus) and Tom wants to keep reader safe and take care of them while the boy does his jobs? I don't know how much of age regression they would understand due to the time period it is set in but also think at least Thomas or Polly would piece together the "why" and "when" reader regresses (especially since Thomas seems to be very aware of other's behavior and also maybe traumas since he can relate and/or is very good at reading people) so they kinda go along with it? It would be nice to see just some nice fluff and Tommy comforting reader while they wait for their brother and just enjoy themselves playing in his office maybe Tom putting them down for a nap so they don't get cranky when their sibling arrives

I hope it doesn't sound weird, since it's one of my first requests sorry!

hello my dear! so sorry that this has been sitting in my inbox for so. long. I’ve been working on it on and off for the past while! I hope u enjoy <3

Cg Tommy Shelby & Little!Reader - A Little Storytime

WC: 968

As Isaiah Jesus’ half-sibling, you were well aware of the ins and outs of the Peaky Blinders. The heists, protection, and even wars that they were responsible for in Birmingham’s streets were a part of daily life. It wasn’t hectic all the time, but the responsibility each member had was immense and came with more baggage than you had ever been interested in carrying.

Yet you did have responsibility, and it was in making sure your regression didn’t get in the way of your brother’s duties. As far as you knew, no one other than your brother knew about your age regression, or at least drew attention to your coping mechanism. You had an inkling that Polly and Thomas had an idea that something was going on. Disappearing for entire days or clinging to your brother when there were too many people around wasn’t necessarily the most unassuming of things.

All of these thoughts ended rather rapidly when Tommy took matters into his own hands. You were busy playing with Isaiah, sitting on the floor of the betting shop and flipping through a picture book. He sat across from you, his suit jacket and hat draped across one of the desks haphazardly. A day off for the shop, only Polly remained in her office, door closed and blinds pulled down. You were having a nice time, that is until Tommy barged into the shop, shouldering the wooden door open in anger.

“Isaiah!” He nearly shouted, causing both you and your brother to jump.

“Holy hell, Tommy! What is it?” Isaiah gasped, springing up to his feet as you curled into yourself. Tommy paid you no attention, sights set on Isaiah.

“You were due at the docks two hours ago. D’you want to be replaced?” Tommy’s cerulean eyes flashed.

Isaiah gulped, grabbing his jacket and putting his cap on. “No, sir.”

“What’re you waiting for, boy? Go on.” The older man motioned to the door.

“I- uh,” Isaiah offered you a hand and you took it, rising to your feet but refusing to lift your eyes from the floor. “I can’t leave them alone right now.”

Finally, Tommy looked at you. He cocked his head to the side, making a quick assessment. “Well, y’can’t bring ‘em with you. For fuck’s sake, go on, Isaiah.”

Isaiah gave your hand an apologetic squeeze and hurried past Tommy, giving you a last glance before shutting the door behind him.

Not only were you alone with Thomas Shelby, leader of the Peaky Blinders and one of the most intimidating men you had ever laid eyes on, but you were little and he was starting to encroach on your space. In fact, you began to tremble as he seemingly stomped over to you.

It was beyond a surprise when he pulled his cap off and crouched down in front of you, causing your eyes to look into his rather than at the floor.

“Did I frighten you?” He asked after a moment, voice low but strangely gentle. His cerulean eyes were so blue you felt as if you could fall right into them.

Little and honest, you nodded your head and wrung your hands together.

“We can’t have any of that, can we?” Tommy’s voice lilted, and so did your heart in your chest. “C’mon.” He offered you his hand and you shuffled on the spot before taking it.

You cast a stray look back at your book that was still on the floor, bottom lip jutting out slightly. You had really wanted to finish the story with Isaiah! Now you weren’t too sure what exactly it was that Dr. Dolittle was going to do.

Tommy, ever perceptive, picked your book up off the floor, losing the page you were on in the process. Your hand wilted in his grasp. What was he going to do with your lovely picture book that Isaiah had gifted you with?

A soft chuckle from Tommy had your shy gaze looking up at him in surprise. “You want to finish your book, yeah?”

You nodded again, unable to be brave enough to use your voice. He tugged you along, right towards his office — which you had never been inside before. There hadn’t been any need for you to, dealing more often than not with Polly when it came to gang business.

An exasperated, shaky noise slipped past your lips as he opened the door. “‘M I in t-trouble?”

The older man let go of your hand and sat himself down in his chair, in front of a large and meticulously clean desk. “Of course not. Come.” He ordered, though his tone was warmer than you expected.

You shuffled over to him hesitantly, and nearly yelped when he pulled you onto his lap. Your trembling lessened when he handed you your book.

“I lost your page. Y’gonna find it again?” He asked, watching you carefully as you frowned and started flipping through the book. You aah-ed in relief when you landed on the right page, Dr. Dolittle smiling brightly with his rosy cheeks and grey top hat. Already you felt yourself slipping further, feeling tiny in Tommy’s lap and protected by his arms around you.

“Here. I’ll read the words, and you can flip the pages.” He said casually, and began reading the words that you always skipped and didn’t even notice. The story started to come alive right in front of you, and the gentle, low rumbling of Tommy’s voice filled your little heart with everything you needed.

You didn’t even realize you were sleepy, that is until you awoke with your head tucked against Tommy’s chest and the way it softly rose and fell against your cheek. Perfectly comfortable, you snuggled back into him and entered a peaceful sleep, full of dreams of Tommy’s unexpected kindness.

#peaky blinders #peaky blinders fic #peaky blinders agere #cg tommy shelby #tommy shelby x reader #sfw agere #sfw agere fic

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thetargaryenbride · 2 years

Text

Nail To The Coffin - Chapter 4

Warnings: Drugs, curse words, a little bit of blood

Pairing: Steve Harrington x f!Byers!Reader

Word Count: 6K

A.N: So, I wanted to focus some more on Hopper and reader’s bond and create more development for it because I really do want to touch upone them being close and getting closer so I can eventually build a proper father-daughter bond. So this chapter is going to be more Hopper x “daughter” reader centric 🤘 I hope you enjoy it and as always, feel free to correct me or give ideas on things you think can be done better. Thank you 💜

Masterlist || Chapter 3 || Chapter 5

Hopper did not know how you had found your way to the quarry. He did not know what to say to you when you had asked what was going on. He wanted to go after you the moment you had run into the forest but at the same time, he knew he had to be the one to deliver the news to Joyce and Jonathan. So, he had entrusted Phil and Calvin to look for you as he got in his car and headed for the Byers's residence with dread filling his being.

He had to watch Joyce and Jonathan break down and crumble and it had hit him too hard… and too personal. Memories he had been trying to bury had returned full force.

No parent should ever lose a child, yes.

But the world was cruel.

“Oh, God… Y/N was at the quarry. Did she see this?” asked Jonathan suddenly and Hopper nodded solemnly.

“She came out of nowhere. Saw them taking the body out of the water. She, uhm…” he hesitated for a second as he looked down at his hands fiddling with his hat before back at the two. “She ran into the forest,” he finally revealed. Joyce shut her eyes tightly as if a punch was delivered to her gut and Jonathan’s hand went to rub his face in desperation.

“I should’ve stayed with her,” murmured the boy and Hopper shook his head.

“It’s not your fault. No one could’ve known that this would happen. I instructed a couple of my men to go look for her. She probably just wants to be alone for a while. I’m sure she’ll come home soon,” he tried to reassure them.

Moments later, he bid them goodbye, promising to meet them at the morgue in the morning before getting in his car and heading back home.

He definitely wasn’t looking forward to the coming of the next day.

After a short drive, he was finally back at his cabin and all he wanted was to just go to bed and forget everything for the next couple of hours.

But before he could even reach the stairs, he heard the shuffling of footsteps. He quickly drew out his gun and prepared to shoot, cautiously walking toward the source of the noise that was coming from the side of his house. He was just about to shout at the person to reveal themselves when he was greeted by a familiar silhouette, making him lower his gun.

You stumbled out of the forest, using the trees as support until there were no more trees you could hold onto, causing you to fall to the ground. The man immediately ran to your side and knelt down, turning you on your back.

“Kid…Hey, kid!” he tapped your cheeks as he tried to keep you conscious, noticing the violent twitching and shuddering of your body and your nosebleed. He cursed under his breath as he fumbled with unzipping and removing your jacket before folding it and placing it under your head as a cushion. Then he turned you on your side and anxiously waited for you to calm down and regain your breathing. After a minute or two you began stabilizing a bit but just as Hopper was about to hoist you up, your body convulsed, your hands flying to grasp at your stomach as you hurled. He gripped your shoulders and slightly lifted your upper body just in time as you threw up. You sputtered and coughed before your body finally went limp in Hopper’s arms and you let out a long exhale.

He picked you up and rushed inside, laying you on the sofa before he went to grab his phone and dialed Joyce. She was glad to hear you weren’t lost alone in the forest anymore and insisted on coming to pick you up.

“Yeah, I found her by my house. She stumbled out of the forest… Listen, I know you want to come pick her up but she’s definitely beyond exhausted. She’s passed out on the couch. There’s no need to move her around like a sack of potatoes. Let her rest. I’ll bring her to you tomorrow morning, ok?” he offered as he smoked his cigarette and suspiciously looked at your sleeping form. “Say… has she gotten any… episodes before?” he drawled out.

“Episodes? W-what do you mean by episodes?”

“I don’t know… panic attacks maybe?”

“No… Are you saying she got a panic attack?” asked the woman worriedly, her voice rising.

“It looked like it. She was shaking like crazy and had trouble breathing,” and threw up and said trembling looked more like a seizure than anything but he decided to omit that piece of information so as to not worry Joyce even more… for now at least. “She’s fine now.”

“I’m coming to p-pick her up!”

“Joyce, listen,” sighed the man. “She’s a wreck… and so are you. She can’t see you like this. It’s only going to throw her into another episode, ok? Make sure you rest and gather your strength so when she sees you tomorrow she doesn’t lose her shit again. She needs you to be strong. Don’t worry, I’ll look after her,” he tried to reason with her until she finally relented.

When he closed the phone he rubbed his throbbing temples before taking one last, long drag of his cigar and putting it out. He went back inside and slowly approached the chair he had thrown your jacket on. He took the piece of clothing and began searching the pockets. He let out a hum as he found them all empty.

Maybe it was just paranoia gnawing at him but he swore for a moment there he had been fully convinced that your condition was caused because you had ingested something. The trembling, the nosebleed, the vomiting, the shallow breathing were symptoms he was very familiar with. But maybe it was just a coincidence. Maybe it was just his imagination. He didn’t want to jump to conclusions without actual evidence.

“Let’s see what’s going on here,” he muttered as he crouched by the couch and inspected the scratch on your cheek. It wasn’t a big one but it wasn’t a small one. It had stopped bleeding by now but if you were to scratch it, it would start bleeding again. Then his eyes were drawn to your hands, resting on top of your stomach, which held multiple red, angry scratches, some of them with dried blood around, matching the scratch on your cheek.

He sighed as he tiredly stood up and went to grab his first aid kit, rummaging through it to take out the necessary tools. He poured some saline on a cotton ball and carefully cleaned your cuts before putting band-aids over them.

He put everything aside and made himself comfortable on the armchair. You looked at peace for now but still… he was definitely not sleeping tonight. He had to look after you because if something was to happen and he was not there to react immediately, he would never forgive himself.

….

“Seriously?” Hopper deadpanned as he entered his office, a mug of coffee in his hand, and saw you sitting on one chair while the other was occupied by a boy who looked quite beaten up and his distraught mother standing by his side. “What’s going on here?”

“This girl here beat up my son, Hopper! I request a punishment!” raised her voice the woman and the man shut his eyes as annoyance began creeping in.

“What do you want me to do exactly, Carol? Lock her up?” he asked and the woman huffed as she pointed at her son.

“She beat up my boy! She is a menace! I mean, look at his face!”

The boy glared at you and you folded your lips, trying to hide a victorious smile. Hopper noticed that and shot you a stern, humbling look. You shrank under his glare, nibbling on your lip as you gazed guiltily at the floor. You felt more guilty at the disappointment on his face than the fact that you had beaten up someone.

“She is just thirteen, ok? Kids fight. End of story,” he sighed as he moved to sit behind the desk and the woman huffed in irritation.

“Not all kids! Clearly, my son is the victim here. There’s a place for children like her.”

“You seriously want me to send a thirteen-year-old to a Juvenile Detention Center just because she punched your kid?” he looked incredulously at the woman. “She’s not a criminal.”

“Not yet!” she exclaimed in indignation before grabbing her son’s hand and making him stand up. “I’ll let her off with a warning this time but if she does something like that again, I will press charges!” she spat out as she glared at you before storming out of the room, her son sticking his tongue out at you as he was dragged away by her.

“Y/N-“ began the man after a couple of silence-filled minutes passed.

“I know,” you muttered.

“This is the third time,” he reminded you and you fiddled with your fingers, not daring to look at him.

“He started it. He and his friends began calling Jonathan all kinds of things. Then they began pushing him around and when he threatened to tell a teacher, this kid jumped him and started beating him,” you explained and Hopper drew a hand down his face in defeat.

“So you decided to add fuel to the fire and beat the shit outta him?” he inquired.

“I’m not gonna let anyone hurt my brother.”

“Yeah? And did you stop to think how your mom would feel if she finds out about all this? Or if you actually end up in a Juvie center?” he snapped and you bit your tongue.

The two of you sat in silence for a while as the chief drank his coffee and rubbed his chin deep in thought before his attention snapped back to you.

“All right, I’ve an idea,” he spoke out and you finally gathered the courage to look at him. “You wanna keep protecting your brother? Good. Do it. I’m not fond of bullies either. But if you’re gonna go against them, do it in a way that won’t leave evidence that they can use against you. Be smart about it.”

“How do I do that?” you muttered curiously and he let out a long, tired exhale.

“I’ll teach you some self-defense techniques. Ok? How to disarm your opponent, how to use their strength against them without actually turning them into a bloody pulp, that kinda stuff. I don’t know. I’m still thinking. But one thing I do know is that I don’t want to see your ass here again... Understood!?”

“Yes, sir!”

Your eyes cracked open and you immediately shut them again, the sunlight shining through the windows irritating you. If the light wasn’t enough, the sound of snoring invaded your ears.

Great. You were attacked on two fronts.

You let out a groan as you slowly sat up and noticed how the snoring came to an abrupt end.

“Kid?” came a familiar voice and you turned to look at the source.

“Hopper?” you mumbled as you saw him sprawled on an armchair not far away from you.

He rubbed his face as he tried to wake himself and you did the same. Neither of you seemed to be a morning person. He drowsily stood up and left your side for a minute before returning with a glass of water.

“Drink up,” he drawled as he passed it to you and you gladly took it, gulping the cool liquid thirstily.

“More,” you rasped out and he rolled his eyes before strolling back to the kitchen. You gulped down the other glass as if you were a plant that hasn’t been watered in days. “What happened?” you finally asked and he lifted a brow.

“I was hoping that you’d answer that question for me.”

“I just… remember running through the forest after…” you cut yourself off as memories from last night flooded your brain.

The drugs, the pain...

The body.

“I want to see my family.”

After you freshened up a bit, you and Hopper headed for the morgue. Your mother and brother were already there, anxiously waiting for you. The moment you saw them, you ran out of the car before Hopper could even park it. Your mother let out a sob as she opened her arms and you readily fell into her embrace. Jonathan hugged you both as you cried.

When you finally gathered some strength you headed inside. You did not let go of Jonathan’s hand even for a second as you spoke to a person who led you to a glassy hallway next to the room where a gurney with a sheet-covered body stood.

You knew what you would see when the doctor lifted the sheet. You thought you’d be ready but you weren’t. Your eyes twitched and watered as you bit the inside of your cheek before bolting out of the room and shutting the door with a deafening sound. You took a few shaky long breaths and wiped the tears before slowly walking over to where Hopper was sitting, sprawling down next to him.

You stayed there in silence for a couple of minutes before Jonathan joined you, just as pale as a sheet as you were.

“How’s your mom doing?” asked Hopper and the boy shook his head.

“I don’t know…”

“How long’s this stuff been going on? With the lights and, uh… Will and the thing in the wall?”

“You know about the monster?” you whispered and Hopper looked at you questioningly.

“Monster?”

“Well, what else could it be?” you muttered as you looked at your lap, stuffing your hands in your pockets.

“You know, she’s had anxiety problems… in the past,” said Jonathan after another minute of silence. “But this… I don’t know. I’m worried it could be… Ugh, I don’t know,” he sniffed and you harshly bumped your knee against his.

“Hey!... I saw it too, remember? Mom’s not going crazy or whatever. Neither am I.”

“I’m not saying that you are crazy… It’s just,” he sighed. “I don’t know…”

“If you say ‘I don’t know’ one more time I’ll fucking hit you,” you grumbled and he looked at the floor. Now it was Hopper who harshly bumped his knee against yours and shot you a scolding look, making you face away.

“We’ll be ok… We are tough,” let out Jonathan after a while and Hopper gave him a small smile.

“You are… you are.”

“Ma’am!” a shout broke through the silence, the three of you snapping to look at the source, seeing your mother hurriedly exiting the room with a man following hot on her tail. “Ma’am, I need you to sign!”

“I don’t- I don’t know what you think that thing is in there, but that is not my son!” she snapped as she waved her hands dismissively.

“Joyce, wait a second,” tried to intervene Hopper.

“No!” she exclaimed firmly before storming out of the building, Jonathan rushing after her.

The chief stared after them, lost, not knowing what to do, until you chuckled in disbelief.

“You know, there’s something fishy in this whole story.”

“What do you mean?” he asked and you shook your head, eyes staring intently at the door your mom and brother had just walked out of.

“Well, first thing first, why did these people return to the quarry all of a sudden when the place was already searched for Will? Why did they send a person to go patrol there of all places and he just happened to find a floating body? C’mon now, this is either one of the biggest coincidences ever or a set-up,” you rambled with a glare before looking up to meet Hopper’s thoughtful stare.

“Something’s not adding up here.”

“Hold on, hold on, hold on! You mean to tell me that you suspect Hawkins Lab, or-or whatever department they’re working for?” you asked incredulously and Hopper nodded.

He had decided to go to the police station and meet Gary there in order to ask him a couple of questions. The man had insisted you go to your mother and brother but you were adamant about sticking with him. Something was very off and if someone could decipher the craziness behind it all, it was Hopper. So you wanted to stay by his side and help as much as you could, otherwise, you would just go nuts.

He had begrudgingly agreed for you to come and on the way to the police station, he had told you all about his suspicions, how he and Calvin had gone to the library to search for information and how he believed that Will was at the wrong place at the wrong time and the people from the lab were trying to cover it all up.

It was a wild suspicion and you needed more information and evidence to confirm it but you thought it made enough sense. And maybe the monster you had seen had something to do with the lab too. Maybe it came from there because the lab coats fucked up and Will did happen to be at the wrong place at the wrong time and they were now trying to cover up their mistakes. Your head was swirling with multiple possibilities and scenarios and before you knew it, you were at the station, listening to Hopper talk to Gary.

“So, Gary, tell me about these troopers that brought in Will.”

“It was about six of ‘em, I’d say.”

“They’re all Staties?”

“Yes, sir.”

Hopper and you shared a look. Why in the world would the State deal with such a small-town case?

“Never seen that many troopers come with a body before,” continued retelling the man.

“They told you that they were gonna take care of the autopsy, huh?”

“Yeah. Claimed jurisdiction. Kicked me out. Well, it all seemed a bit over the top to me, considering…” he ceased as he briefly looked at you and you raised an eyebrow.

“Considering what?”

“Considering that this was Will Byers and not John F. Kennedy,” sighed the man and you squinted your eyes in suspicion, the three of you falling into silence for a minute before the television drew Hopper’s attention.

“Thanks for stopping by, Gary.”

“Sure thing,” nodded the man as he stood up, preparing to leave. “My condolences, kid,” he gave you a sympathetic look and you smiled briefly in thanks.

‘…let the people know that, uh, the troopers are on duty and you should be safe because we think this is just an isolated incident.’

‘State trooper David O’Brannon, thank you so much for your help.’

“Well, these jerks are suspicious as fuck,” you finally let out.

“Language,” drawled the man and you chuckled as you stood up.

“Are you thinking of going after this guy, old man?” you asked as you scanned the man on the TV and Hopper hummed in agreement. “Well then, I’m coming with you.”

“Absolutely not,” he snapped to look at you. “You need to be with your family, not running around playing cop.”

“If anyone has a right to run around and play cop in order to find out what in the world is going on with my brother, it’s me,” you countered firmly. “Let me come. If anything, it’s going to make you look more convincing… You are going undercover, right?”

“Yeah, I can’t really approach him as a cop. He’ll get suspicious.”

“Great! I’m going to pose as your daughter and we’re gonna come up with, I don’t know, some father-daughter bonding story or something. And just so you know, even if you refuse to let me come with you, I’m just gonna go out there on my own and conduct my own research on the matters,” you offered with a shrug and gave him a smug knowing smile. It was actually the truth you were saying. You could always just go back to the kids and continue the search with them.

He stared at you for a while before letting out a long, tired sigh. You knew that sigh very well – it meant he gave up.

“Alright, let’s go.”

“Yes!”

You didn’t know how Hopper was able to locate this guy but you were glad he managed to find him as quickly as he did. Hopper had thrown on some casual clothes and you two immediately rushed to the Hideaway bar and restaurant where you found the man under suspicion sitting at the corner of the bar and drinking as he watched TV.

“What do you wanna eat, kiddo?” asked Hopper as you plopped down on a seat close to the man.

“I’m feeling like a hamburger with fries! And some cola, please!” you gave him a short smile as you took a magazine out of your bag and began flipping through it.

Hopper had taken you to your home so you could quickly change clothes and grab another bag since you had left your other one somewhere in the forest last night. You cursed at your stupidity, thinking about your sketchbook, the walkman, the drugs, and most importantly your money being lost. You had to go back and look for it. Thankfully, you hadn’t wandered too much around the forest. You had gone in somewhat of a straight line from the quarry to Hopper’s house so you at least knew where to look for it. But now you had other concerns you had to deal with.

A plate was placed in front of you, making you snap your head up, finding Hopper nursing a glass of alcohol as he sat next to you.

“Thanks,” you smiled and put away the magazine as you grabbed the hamburger and took a bite. You had to admit that this wasn’t exactly part of your cover. You were actually starving. You focused on eating while Hopper focused on the game they were broadcasting as he drank and smoked.

“Aw, come on!” exclaimed O’Bannon in disappointment after some time, drawing your attention. Hopper finished his drink, taking a drag of his cigarette as he looked at the man and then at the barmaid.

“Another, please,” he requested. “And another for, uh, my friend here.”

“Oh, thanks, man. I appreciate it.”

“Yeah, that’s all right. We’re celebrating. My daughter has a birthday today,” grinned Hopper as he ruffled your hair and you huffed, smiling none the least.

“That’s great. Happy birthday to you,” smiled the man and you thanked him politely. “How old are you getting?”

“Eighteen,” you popped a fry in your mouth and he gave Hopper a knowing look.

“They grow up so fast, don’t they?”

“They sure as hell do. I can’t believe she’ll be graduating this year. It feels like yesterday when I was changing her diapers and watching her crawl and babble and now she’s almost in college,” laughed the man as he took another drag and you choked on your burger before swallowing.

“Ew, dad, that’s gross! Keep that to yourself, will ya?” you cringed and the other man chuckled.

“It’s all in good nature, kid. Parents are like that,” he commented as he grabbed a bottle of beer. “Cheers to you then,” he raised the bottle and clanked it against Hopper’s glass, the two of them taking a sip.

“You know, I recognize you,” said Hopper afterward. “Are you famous or somethin’?”

“Uh, you might have seen me on TV. I, uh… I found that Byers boy,” revealed the man.

“Aw, man, I heard about that. The whole school is talking about it. They found him at the quarry, right?” you asked with well-acted pity lacing your voice and the man nodded, folding his lips.

“It was a sad case, I gotta say.”

“So, you on that case or what?” asked Hopper.

“I just saw him on patrol, you know? Dumb luck,” commented the man offhandedly as he took another sip of his beer. He was lying. Your grip on the burger tightened as you bit down, thankful that there was something to occupy your hands otherwise you would’ve begun picking at your nails or skin by now.

“So that quarry, that’s, uh, state-run, where they found the boy, huh?”

“Yeah…”

“Yeah, well, that’s funny,” chuckled Hopper. “Cause, you know, I know for a fact that it’s run by the Sattler Company,” he raised his brows as he looked at the man who by now was beginning to get a bit uncomfortable. “Frank Sattler? Decent guy. Still got a couple of operational quarries up in Roane.”

“Is that right?”

“Yeah. That’s right… So, why are you lying to me, man,” he pressed as he kept staring at the man. You had finished your burger and fries by now, sipping on your coke silently as you leaned back against the chair to watch the two go back and forth.

“What’s your problem, bud?”

“I don’t have a problem. I’m just a concerned citizen,” responded Hopper emotionlessly and you bit back a groan. He wasn’t very convincing at all. You were sure the guy already knew that something was off here. He probably even already knew that he was talking to a cop and not a citizen.

“Yeah? Well, stick your nose someplace else. The kid is dead. End of story,” he bit out as he stood up, slapping money on the counter before taking his jacket and leaving. “Thanks for ruining the game, dick.”

Hopper only shook his head as he downed the last of his drink before following the guy out, with you hot on his tail. The moment O’Bannon had set foot outside, Hopper had grabbed him by the collar, dragging him to the far side of the building and away from prying eyes. You stood by to keep watch just in case while Hopper began mauling the poor man.

“Okay, let’s try this one more time,” he grit out as he grabbed the man by his throat to keep him upright. “Who told you to be out there? What were you doing out there?!” snapped Hopper and when the guy kept silent, he lifted his hand ready to punch him again.

“I don’t know! I don’t know!” wailed the trooper. “They just told me to call it in and not let anybody get too close!”

“Get close to what!?”

“The body.”

“Who do you work for?” he asked and you were really looking forward to finding out but your attention was drawn by a black car slowly driving by and stopping.

“Hey, Hopper,” you called out softly as you squinted your eyes to get a better look at who was inside.

“The NSA? Hawkins Lab?” he kept pressing.

“Hopper!” you raised your voice, making him look at you and then at where your gaze was focused, noticing the black car as well.

“Who is that?”

“You’re gonna get us all killed,” grunted the man.

“Who is that?” he insisted before releasing the man to run towards the car, reaching to take his pistol out. “Hey! Hey!”

The driver was quick to drive away. Meanwhile, the man pushed past you as he broke into a sprint. You shouted as you began running after him but he clumsily took out his gun and shot at you, making you duck. You tripped in your hurry to dodge the bullet and tumbled on the ground, grazing your knees, forearms, and hands on the asphalt. You were quick to stand up but by then the man had gotten in his car and you could only watch helplessly as he drove away. You kicked a rock angrily, watching it fly away and roll in the distance.

“Fuck!” you went to run a hand through your hair as frustration washed over you but stopped yourself because you noticed the blood and gravel on it. Then you felt Hopper’s hand on your shoulder.

“It’s ok, kid. That’s not the end. We’ll get to the bottom of this,” he reassured you and you shook your head.

“How exactly are we gonna do that? We were thinking about one thing but now it turns out that, what? The state is involved in this? The goddamn lab coats? CIA maybe? I don’t know what the hell is going on but I do know that it’s getting progressively worse and we are nowhere near to finding where my brother is, or who took him, or if he is even still a-alive!” you cried out as your foot hit the ground again and Hopper took a hold of your flailing arms and brought you in for a hug.

“We are getting to the bottom of this,” he accentuated each word firmly. “I don’t believe that Will is dead. And we are going to find him. But I need you to keep your composure, ok?” he asked and you let out a long breath, nodding before pulling away.

“I’m sorry for losing it.”

“It’s ok.”

“What are we gonna do now? Storm the lab or something?” you asked in confusion.

“First we’ll take care of those,” he pointed at your grazes and you hissed by just imagining how much it would sting when you apply alcohol on them. “Then we’re going back to the morgue. I want to check out this body,” he admitted and you bit your lip. You weren’t sure if you wanted to see the body up close. “Look, I’m not asking you to come with me. If anything, it would probably be for the best if-“

“I’m coming.”

“Hey, Patty!” greeted Hopper as he and you strolled into the building.

“Hey, uh, need something, Chief?”

“I’m afraid Y/N’s mother forgot her purse back in there. We’re just gonna go grab it and be outta here,” he explained and the woman nodded.

“Oh, go ahead, it’s fine,” she pointed before continuing her phone conversation and you rushed through the door and into the hallway where a State trooper was sitting on a chair, reading a book. He stood up in a hurry when he saw you enter, evidently panicked at your appearance.

“Hey, you can’t be here,” he went to stand in front of the door, eyes darting nervously between you two.

“Well, seeing as how it’s my brother’s body in there, I think I have every right to be here,” you sassed at him as you sent him a tight smile. “I want to see his body. I need to… come to terms with the fact that he’s actually dead. I hope you understand,” you tilted your head as the man looked at you suspiciously.

“Well, I’m truly sorry but I don’t have the authorization to let anyone in, even relatives. The place is closed and I’m simply guarding it,” stuttered out the man and you and Hopper shared a look.

“Okay,” smiled tightly the chief before punching the trooper straight in the face, rendering him unconscious.

“Wow… badass,” you commented before Hopper bent to take the key off the man’s belt and unlocked the door, the two of you storming into the room.

You scrunched up your face in disgust as you neared the morgue freezers and looked for the one tagged with your brother’s name. Hopper quickly opened the fridge and rolled out the gurney with the corpse, pulling the sheet down to reveal the upper part of the body. Your gut twisted painfully as you felt nausea hitting you at the sight of your little brother lying motionless. Your hand shook as it went to caress his face but the moment you touched his cheek, you froze.

The temperature was just… off. And so was the texture.

Hopper noticed your reaction and decided to press his hand against “Will’s” chest, eyebrows furrowing in confusion. He let out a sigh through his nose as he took a knife from his pocket.

“Let me,” you muttered as you stared at the body and you could feel him hesitating before handing you the knife.

You took a deep breath as you pressed the knife against your stomach, heart pounding loudly against your ribcage. You steadied your shaking hand and stabbed the body, dragging the knife in a straight line from the stomach to the chest. Your face morphed in disbelief, Hopper mirroring you, when no blood came out of the incision. You shoved your hand inside and you felt soft cotton engulf it. Some pieces popped out as you withdrew your limb and looked at Hopper in utter confusion. Then a smile graced your face.

“It’s not Will… It’s not Will!” you shouted out the first two words before remembering you had to be quiet. But your excitement was over the roof.

“And that’s great but it doesn’t make things any less complicated,” reminded you the man and you sobered up.

“Well, what do we do now?”

“I’m going to the lab,” he revealed and your eyes widened.

“Are you kidding me? You know, back then when I said “storm the lab” I didn’t actually mean it!”

“I see no other possibility here, kid,” he snapped. “Do you want to find your brother or not?” he asked and you tightened your lips in irritation as you gave in.

“Alright and if the lab does have something to do with all this what will you do if you get caught, hm?” you glared.

“That’s why I’m telling you and that’s why I want you to stay out here and not come with me. I need someone to be out here. I need someone I can trust if something happens and I disappear as well,” he explained his idea as he pocketed the knife and went to cover the body and close the freezer.

“I am… very flattered that you have such faith in me but I’m telling you, if you disappear too I wouldn’t be able to do anything to help you or Will! I’m seventeen! No one’s gonna take me seriously!” you whisper shouted and waved your hands categorically, making the man chuckle lightly.

“On the contrary, I’m sure you’ll come up with something. Otherwise, I wouldn’t have let you follow me into this mess. I would’ve locked you up in the station,” he admitted and you laughed.

“You wouldn’t have!” you exclaimed but your laughter died down when you saw him raise his eyebrows knowingly. “Ok, you totally would have,” you agreed snippily.

“I want you to go back home for now. We don’t know to what lengths these douchebags are ready to go to. Keep an eye on your mom and brother, ok?”

“Always,” you stated firmly and he ruffled your hair, giving you what seemed to be a proud smile, before the two of you stormed out of the place, each going to your respective locations.

You could only hope that nothing bad would happen to Hopper because you really had no idea how to deal with all of this on your own.

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