#I felt like it was more important to inform people right now of what happened with screenshots than make yet another essay abt how this suc | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

qlossytbh · 5 months ago

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𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐫𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐞 - 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐱 𝐛𝐚𝐮!𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬 you were in an accident and both you and spencer are figuring out how to deal with it.

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 angst, typical criminal minds content, reader gets beat up, physical violence, descriptions of physical injury’s, lots of freaking out, mild panic attack, angst + comfort, established relationship

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 2.5k

𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 this fic is inspired entirely on billie’s eilish’s the 30th. haven’t been posting but i’ve got a lot of almost finished drafts and requests im getting through atm

𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐜𝐞𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐢𝐝 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭 | 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐦𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭

Sometimes, Spencer hated his limitless memory.

Because of course, it worked wonders when he had to remember important dates, or endless facts that came remarkably handy in cases. Things no one else even considers remembering. Amazing for remembering favorite things of his favorite people, or remembering things they’d previously mentioned liking.

It was amazing until it found ways to haunt him.

He remembered when Morgan pulled to a stop, glancing up at the red light in front of him. He remembered when Penelope typed away aimlessly in the back of the car, reading out a few connections she found between this particular Unsub and the third and hopefully last victim. Everything was fine.

They almost had the case figured out. Hotch had called in, (exactly twenty-three minutes ago) informing them that that you and Emily had a lead on the whereabouts of the Unsub.

He remembered the tone in Morgan’s voice when he picked up the phone. “What?”

Both him and Penelope had glanced his way absentmindedly, not really thinking much of it.

“Do they know who yet?” He had asked, taking a sudden sharp turn towards the left. The pair watched as Morgan’s face fell, and his grip on the steering wheel had tightened. He remembered the look on Penelope’s face as she quickly glanced over at him, who probably looked equally as worried, if not more. Something hadn’t been sitting right, at all— he remembered from the second the day had started something inside him was telling him that.

“What’s going on?” Penelope's voice was shaky when she set her computer down to the side. Spencer just kept his eyes on Derek, narrowing them slightly at the subtle gulp in his throat and the way he nervously looked over at him. Not Penelope, him.

“Derek—“

He remembered when he told him that you had been hurt and how he was unable to think of anything else.

He looked forward towards the road, avoiding the way his co-worker and friend sat up in his seat, straining against his seatbelt as his chest turned to face him. “I don’t know exactly what happened, Hotch just told me she was ambushed and they’re now waiting on the ambulance.”

“Ambulance?” He could’ve sworn his heart dropped into the very pits of his stomach.

Penelope covered her mouth, tears already boring into them with a soft gasp that came from her mouth. “Is she okay?”

Derek’s mouth twisted into a straight line as he opened his mouth to speak and Spencer swore he had never felt as much panic course through him.

He didn’t usually freak out, but he swore his head just stopped working right there and then. All he was able to think about was getting to you. “They don’t know—“

“Drive.” Spencer told Derek. With a firm nod and no room for complaint, he stepped on the gas pedal, signaling on the sirens as he swerved through the streets.

Six minutes and thirty five point two seconds.

That's how long it took for them to get to the scene, where two ambulances and cop cars seemed displayed around the small suburban home. He felt time move as if it were in slow motion.

The car hadn’t even come to a stop and Spencer was already stumbling throughout the door, pushing his shaky legs towards the already chaotic scene.

Unbearable noises surrounded him— people clattering and shouting about, orders being thrown around aimlessly, sirens and bypassers stopping to gasp and gaunt at the scene.

Two officers were down on the floor, covered by a simple thin white cloth and he felt the nausea settle in. Just the thought of one of them being you made his knees grow weak and the bile quickly hike its way up his throat.

Before he could rush around in attempts to find you, his eyes landed on Hotch, hunched over a moving stretcher surrounded by about three, maybe even more, medics.

It all seemed visceral. An automatic response. Soon enough his legs were pushing him towards the stretcher that made its way towards the ambulance. “Hotch—“

He turned around, and allowed just enough space to reveal your absolutely destroyed form. Your eyes kept fluttering open and close, seemingly bothered by all the noise and light. Your breathing sounded strangled, covered by the oxygen mask you had on but the sound alone was something Spencer was sure would haunt him until the day he died.

He still remembered.

Spencer felt like he had been punched in the stomach. All he could do was push one of the medics aside and hunch over you as you fought against the universe itself to regain consciousness.

“Hey,” He cooed, voice tightening and nearly breaking in a cry. He cleared his throat and blinked through his tears, smiling down at you.

You couldn’t say a single word, but you mustered enough strength to lift your pinky, grazing it against his knuckles. Your face showed a much different reaction though, furrowing your brows in what seemed to be excruciating pain.

“She’s mostly unresponsive,” The medics informed. Spencer followed them alongside Hotch, until they got to the ambulance, clicking the stretcher upwards.

“Hey, listen to me,” He whispered, ducking down so he was closer to you. “I love you, okay?”

Your small fist grabbed the fabric of his shirt, not wanting him to leave your side, but it was hurting you too much to hold on. Your fist feebly fell and the medics somehow pushed him off and you were taken into the ambulance and he really didn’t know if that was the last time he’d see you.

He watched the doors slam shut, frozen completely in his place. He remembered watching the ambulance drive away and having to stop his legs from running after it. He remembered Hotch trying to grab his attention from the disappearing ambulance.

He remembered thinking non-stop but for the first time ever, wanting to stop it and not being able to.

Something so alarming started to awaken within him and he wasn’t really sure what to do with himself.

He spent thirteen hours and sixteen minutes in the hospital that night and next morning. Hotch and the others came by in turns to keep him company in the cold empty waiting room, but he didn’t budge.

The second to stay the most was Emily, given how she was also attacked at the scene but much less severely. She ended up with a few bruises and scratches— she silently wished it had been more.

Maybe then the damage on you would’ve been less.

He remembered sitting with Morgan and the others when the doctors came in, informing him that you had gone into hypovolemic shock and they needed to perform an emergency surgery to stop the internal bleeding that was causing your vitals to plummet.

Spencer even remembered, word by word and syllable by syllable that there was a high chance that you may not even wake up from the surgery due to how much trauma your body had received.

Three broken ribs, dozens, maybe hundreds, lacerations scattered across your arms and stomach, a ruptured spleen and a concussion. That wasn’t even including all the bits of physiological trauma you now had to attack once— and if— you woke up.

Spencer seriously felt his resolve to remain calm crumple the second the medics mentioned that the Unsub used a metal pole to beat you nearly to death.

He had asked for every detail and he remembered each one and how utterly hopeless they all made him feel. He cried, because he simply didn’t know what to do with himself. He didn’t know how to fix it, or how to help— he wasn’t even sure he could.

Because what if he had been there instead of Emily? What if he was able to stop it? What if more backup was sent in, what if when you had told him you felt off this morning when going into work he’d tell you to stay put and rest it off? What would’ve happened then?

What if he would’ve gone with Emily instead of you, what if you were actually lifeless when they had found you? What if you didn’t wake up? What if this meant he’d never get to hold you for a last time, and had to stick with the memory of seeing you bloody and bruised. What if you never actually—

“Reid,” Spencer looked up from his palms, which holstered themselves on his knees by his elbows. Emily smiled at him meekly. “She’s awake,”

Spencer looked around, blinking heavily and realizing he was in the same cold hospital waiting room he’s been in for the past day and a half.

He opened his mouth to speak, but realized it was incredibly dry. Too dry. He cleared out his throat with a firm cough and nodded, standing up feebly.

They walked down the quiet hallway, something so heavy hanging in the air. Just the patterning of his shoes and Emily’s heels bouncing off the walls along with the shuffling of their clothes. Spencer swore he wouldn’t be okay until he saw you but even then he didn’t think he’d be okay. How was any of this going to be okay?

Emily led him to a door and when they pushed it open, you were staring at the wall, seemingly in some kind of deep whirlwind of thoughts. A small knock offered by Emily caught your attention. You turned your head to the side, probably expecting another endless round of nurses. But to your surprise, there stood the one person you’d been wanting to see after this whole ordeal.

A broad yet tired smile made its way onto your face while laying back into the pillows. Spencer took you in, letting out a shaky breath. Your hair was disheveled, and your eyes looked tired. Soft and welcoming but hiding something so much deeper underneath that he’d have to be an idiot to not notice it.

There was a stitch on your forehead and the lash line of one of your eyes protruded a growing dark purple bruise. There were machines and cables and needles stuck beside and into you. And the more Spencer noticed, the more he wished he hadn’t.

“Hey,” Your voice was raspier than usual, small and steady, Spencer noticed this.

But then you smiled just like you used to before the accident and he couldn’t have found you any more beautiful.

“Hey,” He finally answered, walking up to the side of your bed. “How— How are you feeling?”

“I’ll give you guys some privacy.” Emily said, slipping past the door and leaving the two of you to your own accord.

“I’m okay,” You whispered, sounding so small and frail it nearly broke any ounce of self control he was mustering to avoid breaking into tears. “The pain meds are helping a bit,”

He gave you a silent understanding nod. His hand held onto the railing of your bed, not entirely knowing what to say or how to act. You watched him intently, noticing how he couldn’t really bring himself to look at you.

“Do you remember anything?” You turned to stare at the wall, trying to recall anything about the attack, but you unfortunately— some would argue fortunately— didn’t.

You shifted in your bed, scrunching your face in pain in the process, which Spencer noticed. Again. Of course he did.

Spencer looked down at you, dangerously entering territory where the back of his eyes burned, and his own mind bit at him, and he just didn’t know what to do with all the huge feelings that swarmed around inside him.

“Not really,” You muttered, scrunching your nose with a small huff. Spencer reached over, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear and letting his hand cup the side of your cheek.

“You really scared me,” You leaned into the touch of his palm.

“I’m sorry,” He shook his head before he even spoke, blinking rapidly to prevent any tears from falling.

“I’m just glad you’re okay.”

“I almost died,”

Okay, they were starting there. Great.

You had said it in barely above a whisper, staring at your lap and preventing Spencer from getting a look in your eyes. Your lips tugged into a frown. And Spencer said your name, trying to catch your attention.

Suddenly it all hit you. The gravity of it all. It came in stronger than a tidal wave, than a slap you didn’t even see coming. You felt the burning in your ribs, the rips and tears in your skin, the slight swell of your eye, the rattling of your own skull.

Spencer pulled out a chair and sat on it to level himself to your height. He reached out a hand and laced his fingers with yours.

It felt hard to breathe.

More silence.

“You okay?” You sucked in a sharp breath that came out as a little squeak, and suddenly you wanted to cry. Because you were tired of feeling so broken and feeling how every inch of your body hurt.

You shook your head and as soon as you did, a broken sob left your mouth. Your hands flew up quickly, attempting to hide the broken fragments of your gaze. Spencer heard every shard of the glass his heart had been made of around you shatter. He sat up, attempting to hold you from the side in any way he could, letting you cry out all the trauma you received in the past two days.

And you did cry it out, and your ribs burned, your head was pounding and you felt every ache and bruise in your body worsen. Seeing you like this hurt him more than any pain that had ever been inflicted on him.

Spencer pulled away from you once you had calmed down enough and brought one hand to the side of your face, leisurely dragging his thumb against your cheek bone and anywhere any stray tears fell.

“Dang it,” You sniffled, bringing the back of your palm up and rubbing your nose. “This is not how I wanted you to see me after my mini coma,”

Spencer knew you couldn’t keep serious for more than fifteen minutes at a time even if your life depended on it. He’d let you stall the situation this time however. He knows the two of you needed it.

“You look so pretty,” You smiled at his words, looking at him with so much gratitude and leaning into his palm, trying to find refuge in it.

“I bet I do,” You narrowed your eyes at him and he leaned forward pressing a kiss to your lips. You grabbed the wrist of the hand that held your face while he kissed you and gave it a small squeeze, hopefully letting him know how much you cared and appreciated him.

He pulled away, sitting back into the chair but intertwining his fingers with yours, reminding himself to always drag his fingers comfortingly across your knuckles and allow you to know he wasn’t ever leaving your side again.

“They had to change my IV needle,” You decided to stall for a bit. “The vein on my right arm wasn’t doing the job.”

“Really?” He knew that wasn’t entirely possible and that the doctors probably did an ass job at inserting it there in the first place, but he let you wonder on. “How’d that feel?”

“Im afraid of needles, but!-“ You shuffled a little bit around on your pillow for more comfort, huffing proudly. “I squeezed my eyes and tried thinking back on that book that talks about marxist criticism you read to me last week,”

He smiled warmly, bringing your hand over to him and kissing your wrist. “My brave girl,”

You let out a laugh, and he knew then he’d sleep a little better that night. He always did when you were by him.

“Hey Spence,”

“Yeah?”

“Can you stay?” You asked earnestly.

Spencer squeezed your hand. “Your pain meds are hitting you stronger than you thought if you think for a second that i’m leaving your side,”

You smiled. “I’m not going anywhere angel, I promise.”

The two of you basked in each other's silence. You closed your eyes and tried to alleviate the burning in your lungs as your breath shaked from the crying. Spencer just watched you, appreciating a while longer the small freckles and marks across your face.

“Spence,” He hummed, “I’m scared.”

He sighed heavily. Suddenly realizing that this wasn’t something easy to come. And he was too, because he almost lost the love of his life and he didn’t know what that information would do to him, much less to you.

For the first time, Spencer was out of smart answers and reasons why this would all be okay. It was hard for him to think he’d never feel this scared of loosing you again, and that idea haunted him.

“So am I,”

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mrpenguinpants · 2 years ago

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Low Battery Warning - Touch Starved HCs

— If he goes too long without you by his side, he starts to get irritable and too frustrating for anyone to deal with. For the sake of everyone, please remember to recharge your battery before leaving for extended periods of time.

— Tartaglia, Kaveh, Ayato, Alhaitham, and Dottore

Semi Part 2 For Dottore: Ttorschlusspanik [Masterlist]

I JUST WANT TO WRITE WHIPPED MEN OKAY? What do you mean I have to write a part 2 for two different fics??? I'm honestly surprised I managed to finish this. Also, ALHAITHAM NATION REJOICE, YOUR BOY IS HERE AND I CAN FINALLY MAKE A BANNER. I wasn't going to write him (I'm a kaveh stan) but now that he's here...

Tartaglia

While Tartaglia is the most favored to work with compared to the other Harbingers, that's only by a very slim margin. The closest you'll get to death is when the man gets bored and randomly picks someone to fight, but they usually make it out alive. Maybe a couple weeks in the medical bay and a few broken bones but they aren't dead for the most part. He's also the youngest and therefore the most easy-going even if he's a bit childish. He's a soldier first so he knows the pain of listening to someone verbally beat you down and not having the power to do anything back. But he's still a person at the end of the day and after so many people messing up and delaying his work, he's starting to get irritated. First, it was someone spilling tea onto important documents that he just finished signing, then the Fatui agents stationed near Jueyun Karst being defeated by some no-named treasure hoarders, and then finally being held hostage in his own office because the Liyue Qixing wouldn't leave him alone. God, he slumps over his desk, he just wants to go home and see you!

By the time he finally stumbles through the door, you're already passed out on the couch. He can't blame you, it's very late into the night and he would probably be more upset if you forced yourself to stay awake just to welcome him home. But he can still pout that he was taken away from you for so long, he didn't even get to see you all day. That's borderline torture. But he supposes he can forgive you since you look so cute bundled up in his red shirt. If he happens to take a picture or two that's for his knowledge and eyes only. So he easily scoops you up into his arms, taking a couple seconds to just stand there as he basks in the comfortable weight before he takes you to bed. Just for tonight. This will be the last time work takes him away from home for so long.

It lasts for two weeks. Usually, Childe could hold himself together, he's been away for far longer, but the fact that you're right there and he can't hold you is driving him insane. By the 14th day, Childe is ready to snap his pen in half and hurl it at the next person that comes through that cursed door. He doesn't though because it's usually Ekaterina, the only one that has the balls to talk to him right now, and she deserves far more than she's paid to deal with. But he's touch-deprived and tired. Even Zhongli with his infinite amount of patience advises him to sort himself out before inviting him out to lunch next time. He tried to deal with it on his own, this isn't the first time he's felt claustrophobic, but after the fifth Hilichurl camp he doesn't feel any better which only makes his mood sour further. He might even beat Scaramouche in how short-tempered he is right now. There's heavy air wherever he goes and whatever carefree persona he usually has on is thrown out the window.

It's Zhongli who clues you into how bad Childe's demeanor has gotten, the rascal looks horrible both physically and mentally. Despite the consultant and Childe being on friendly terms, you don't really know the man that well. But he doesn't seem like the type of person to lie so you thank him for the information and make your way to the Northland Bank. To be honest, you've been feeling the effects of not seeing Childe as often as you usually do. You know his work can get so hectic that it keeps him cooped up in his office but it's been a while since you've even seen that fluff of ginger hair. He usually doesn't want you near his work considering how it might put you in danger, but if he isn't taking care of himself then what kind of partner would you be if you didn't help?

Even outside the building, you can feel the effects of what Zhongli talked about. All the agents look like they're on their last legs, there's a gloomy atmosphere surrounding the building even though the sun shines brightly across Liyue harbor, and you can vaguely hear an annoyed Harbinger scolding someone. As soon as you set foot into the building Ekaterina nearly tackles you off your feet. Desperately thanking you for coming and looking at you as if you're the Tsaritsa herself.

As soon as Ekaterina says your name, Childe whips his head around at such a speed that you're afraid his head might fling off as his eyes lock onto yours. You know Childe wouldn't hurt you, never you, but he's looking at you like he's about to devour you and you're suddenly very glad you've never been on the receiving end of his anger. He shoves the papers in his hands into the agent's chest he was probably reprimanding and marches over to where you are.

"C-Childe?" "S-Sir?"

Ekaterina mirrors the wary call of his name until he's finally in front of you and without a word, throws his arms around you. You stumble a bit under his weight but you quickly circle your arms around his back and hold on tight so you don't trip over your own feet. You can only imagine what it looks like for Ekaterina to see her stiff boss suddenly deflate in your arms. A pleased groan escapes from him as he basically lifts you off your feet just so he can hug you closer to him. You almost feel like a child's teddy bear with your legs dangling in the air trapped in a crushing hug. You know that your relationship with Childe isn't a secret but you both don't show any displays of affection, you don't even really interact in public in general, so this is pretty open for the two of you. Well, for you at least. You don't even think Childe is registering anything around him except that you're here.

"Are you okay милый?" you whisper into his ear, nuzzling into the side of his head that's nestled into your shoulder. Your snezhnaya is a little rough around the edges but from how he seems to purr you think he enjoys it nonetheless. "Although I'm happy to see you too, don't you think we should move so we aren't blocking the main entrance?"

He sleepily blinks awake and slowly starts to acknowledge that you're both very much standing at the bank's entrance with everyone shamelessly staring. He frankly looks like he doesn't care, people have working legs, they can walk around you both. But he also doesn't want anyone to find another reason to take him away when he's very comfortable.

"If you need me, don't," is the clipped order that rings out through the bank. You know he's heavily censoring what he actually wants to say but from how everyone cowers away, they can probably tell what would happen if they disobey him. They all give him a nod and a salute before he's picking you up, cradles you into your arms, and swiftly walks upstairs. With a kick of his boot, the door slams shut and he sinks into his chair, you seated pretty on his lap.

"Please never leave me, I think I might die," he groans, re-wrapping his arms tight around your waist. You can only sigh fondly as you gently run your fingers through his hair, rubbing small circles into his scalp and he melts into goo. As if you would want to leave.

Kaveh

You know Kaveh is a bit...eccentric to say the least. He always says what's on his mind and most of the time his thoughts are things he should keep to himself. Even you're not totally immune to his blunt honesty despite the fact he tries to watch how he phrases things when directed to you. He doesn't want to accidentally hurt your feelings, regardless if you know he means no harm. It's rather cute that for someone who doesn't care about what others think of him, he's a bit insecure around you. He likes you, really likes you, and he often finds himself plotting out what he's going to say hours before your lunch date with him. But as soon as you greet him with that charming smile and a brief hug, he turns into putty and whatever flowery language he conjured in his mind is swept away. The confident architect that graduated with honors is reduced to a red-faced mess of stumbling words. It doesn't help that you find it adorable enough to press a chaste kiss to his red cheek and he swears that he's going to pass out from a heat stroke.

He's both extremely glad and terribly conflicted that your love language seems to be touch. He loves it when you brush your fingers through his hair but it always lulls him into sleep so he doesn't get any work done. He loves it when you hug him tightly but then he never wants to leave so he doesn't get any work done. He loves it when you cup his cheeks and pull him into a kiss but then he goes in for seconds, then thirds, and so on that he doesn't get any work done. If he went into alchemy rather than architecture he would dedicate his life work to studying why you have the touch of an Archon that compels him so. But he didn't and now that he's drowning in debt, he really needs to concentrate and finish his work before the deadline.

So now he has the painful task of trying to find an extremely polite way of asking you to leave him alone without you taking offense and breaking up with him. He would be devastated if he couldn't see your loving gaze on him again. But the situation is dire because as soon as he sees you, all he wants to do is curl up in bed with you in his arms. Preferably forever but he'll cross that bridge when he gets there. But every time he tries to bring it up it only takes one look from you for him to stutter and wave off his words. He tries to pep talk himself and every single time he claims that this will be the day that he, very politely, pushes you off, it ends with him melting into goo and waking up the next day with all his untouched work judging him from the table.

It gets to the point that he begins to air his grievances to Alhaitham of all people. To be fair, he doesn't expect the scribe to listen to a word he says and if he did, it would only be because Kaveh needed to pay his share of the rent. But he's pleasantly surprised when you pop up with a guilty smile and that Alhaitham explained his circumstances to you. He tries to clear up the situation, he has no idea what Alhaitham said specifically but it must have been put in the worst way possible, but you take his hands and he shuts up immediately. You give him a light giggle that melts his heart and you tell him to call for you once he's completed his work.

It was the worst decision he's ever made. Second to moving in with Alhaitham. Maybe his judgment of you being an angel was a lie and you were secretly the devil from how often his thoughts were plagued by you. He could draw a circle and think of your eyes. He knows that he's smitten in your presence but he didn't expect that to double when he's suddenly alone. His only motivation is that as soon as he's finished, he'll be able to see you again. But his mind and his work bleed together and he ends up drawing your face instead of buildings and pipes.

He ends up locking himself in his studio and slowly deforming into slime with how awful he's taking care of himself. Alhaitham has to pry him from the table only for Kaveh to flop in his arms that the scribe gives up and hauls the corpse over his shoulder and makes his way to your home. Kaveh still needs to pay his share of the rent so he's not allowed to die before then.

When you opened the door you weren't expecting Alhaitham at your doorstep with Kaveh over his shoulder. He doesn't seem to want to be in this situation either because it looks like he's two seconds away from throwing your boyfriend across the room. But he manages to reign everything in front of you and quickly explains Kaveh's situation, dumping said man into your arms, and telling you to fix it. You shoot him an apologetic smile that he waves off, it's not like it's your fault, before turning around and making his way back to his own home.

"Kaveh?" you whisper gently against his ear to not startle him. It only takes him a second to register your voice before he's perking up and beaming at you. He easily shifts positions so you're in his arms instead. Twirling you around and using the momentum to tuck an arm under your knees and smoothly picking you up, somehow supporting your entire weight in one arm while the other closes the door. Sometimes you forget that Kaveh is really strong despite his lean stature. He is a claymore user after all.

"Darling! What are you doing here?" Kaveh questions while he makes himself at home. If only your living space was big enough for him to store all his work otherwise he would have moved in with you by now.

"Alhaitham mentioned that your recent commission was taking up all your time and you weren't taking care of yourself. Are you alright?" you ask, wrapping your arms around his neck to steady yourself while Kaveh takes his shoes and coat off. In these types of moments, no matter what you do or say he'll refuse to let you out of his arms. If he has to live with one arm then he'll gladly do so just so long as his other hand is wrapped around you.

"Never better," he replies with a smile. He's obviously lying given the dark circles under his pretty red eyes but the soft look he sends you is enough to tell you that right now, he's never been more comfortable. It makes you a bit flustered to have such an intense gaze on you but Kaveh is always forward with his affections and this isn't any different. With you in his arms, there's nowhere for you to run to when he tilts your chin down and brushes his lips against yours.

"Be still for me..." he whispers, the vibrations of his voice tingling against your skin as both of your eyes slowly close. Only for the moment to shatter by loud knocks on your door. You both jerk apart and turn to the disturbance with varying expressions. You're a flustered mess while Kaveh scowls as if the door offended his entire life's work. He finally sets you down on your feet and gives you a quick peck on the cheek. Before marching to the door, flinging it open, and telling the man on the other side to shoo before slamming the door in his face. Unless the world is ending, don't knock.

Ayato

To say Ayato works hard is an understatement. There are several nights when he's glued to his desk rather than resting in bed. Such are the woes of him being forever dedicated to his duties as the Yashiro Commissioner. On days when there are big events and everything needs to be perfect, he's nearly inconsolable that Thoma weighs how much he can get away with if he knocks Ayato out with a frying pan. His pondering doesn't go far because even though Ayato looks like a corpse from the lack of sleep, he'd probably knock Thoma off his feet before the housekeeper could even raise his arms. Ayaka has better luck but she's only able to drag him away for a few minutes before he points in a random direction to divert her attention before disappearing as soon as she turns back. It's just something everyone is aware of and they try their best to support Lord Kamisato. But if it starts to look really bad, like Ayato might drop dead at any second, then you're called in. The last defense and their ace up the sleeve. Not to brag or anything but you have a spotless record and you intend to keep it that way.

It only takes one word from you to have the dignified and cunning Ayato turn into a scared rabbit. His name. None of the wary calls of Lord Kamisato, a dismissal of his titles, and certainly not your affectionate terms of endearment. It always brings the temperature of the room to zero and Ayaka has to double-check that her cyro vision didn't accidentally activate. Unlike Thoma and Ayaka, you're not soft on him and you set your foot down when it comes to his extremes. One of the many reasons he fell in love with you but it's coming back to bite him now. He hates seeing you unhappy, doing anything possible to wipe that frown off your face, but when it's him that's making you so displeased he can't help but look like a scolded puppy.

It doesn't take much for you to know that Ayato has overworked himself to the breaking point again. You understand his duties mean that he's going to be riddled with work but you're his partner first and foremost. You're there to care about Ayato, not the Yashiro Commissioner. And Ayato looks like he's falling apart at the seams. Heavy eye bags, pale complexion, and his body swaying back and forth before he catches himself from falling over. It pains your heart to see him like this and yet still push himself to keep going. So you take one, two, and three steps towards him to delicately take his hand in yours, rubbing soothing circles into his palm before intertwining your fingers together.

Unlike Thoma and Ayaka, he doesn't disappear as soon as you take your eyes off him. Just stands there and stares dopily at you while you issue orders to take over his work. God, you look so attractive when you're in control. It's been a while since he's seen anything but paper and ink but did you always look this beautiful? He's so glad he's going to marry you. Maybe he can force the elders to move the ceremony date up. Everyone in the room politely ignores the fact that Ayato is saying these thoughts out loud and how red your face has gotten.

He doesn't object when you pull him out of the room with you, blindly following you wherever you happen to lead him by the hand. As long as your hand is in his, he'll follow you to the ends of the earth if you'll allow it. It's a bit comical how the dignified Yashiro Commissioner recedes into himself and crumbles away into a love-sick man just by a simple touch. At much as it makes you feel a bit shy, it's nice to know that Ayato won't try and weasel his way out of your grasp and return to his work.

If anything he clings to you like an onikabuto on a tree. You have to waddle your way to the baths with an oversized blue-haired man refusing to let go and draping himself over your back. You know he's making this as hard as possible on purpose, just do you can dote and pamper him a bit longer before he succumbs to slumber and has to return to work. It dampens his mood thinking of the future but it's quickly ushered away by the warm water poured over his head. It's fitting that his vision is hydro because he fits himself into the space you provide as you begin to scrub his hair clean.

There's something meditative about having his hair washed by your hands that no one else can replicate. It's a luxury that he only receives when he works hard enough that his arms hang uselessly at his sides and his body slumps into itself. Soft and malleable, completely willing to bend and mold in whatever shape you wish. But your hands scrub through his hair gently, rubbing all the stress out of his body and never complaining. Right now there's nothing else that matters more than being here with you and you with him.

"I'm going to rinse your hair out. Close your eyes now," you softly say and he follows your instructions. The rush of warm water is soothing to his ears although it sparks something in his memory that momentarily takes him out of this romantic moment. He reaches blindly behind him to take your hand, rubbing circles into your palm to halt your actions.

"It's just occurred to me but aren't you supposed to be on a trip to Watatsumi island?" he opens his eyes to peer up at you, his long eyelashes tipped with water droplets reminding you of just how pretty Ayato is. It's almost a good enough distraction for you to forget why exactly you're here rather than speaking with Kokomi right now. Almost.

"I was but someone had to go and work himself to death again. You need to take better care of yourself Ayato. I don't want to see Thoma running across all of Inazuma just to drag me back because you can't seem to sit still for a few seconds," your frown deepens with each sentence. Your free hand that's not in his grasp is knocking against his forehead, albeit not hard enough to cause any actual pain. He only chuckles before pulling you into the water with him until you're sitting on the edge of the bathtub. His head lay comfortably against your thighs.

"Apologies." He's not sorry at all. "When you're not beside me I have to throw myself into my work or else I may go insane."

"Oh so now all of this is my fault," you huff exasperated but he can hear the undertones of how happy that sentence makes you. "Come on, you'll catch a cold if we stay here any longer."

"Mmm, indulge me," he mumbles into your skin, his eyes closing once again with a content smile on his face. He doesn't need to see to know that you have an equally fond expression.

"Oh, so now my lord wishes to relax?"

"Only because you're here."

Alhaitham

You know that your relationship with Alhaitham is unusual to onlookers. You're both polar opposites and yet somehow stumbled into a rather healthy and committed relationship. To others, Alhaitham is a talented and intelligent man. The perfect bachelor if it wasn't for his "extraordinary sense of individualism" that he doesn't pay attention to people around him. He's notorious for being hard to get along with that not even his handsome face is enough for people to sit around for too long. Meanwhile, there's you. A wandering traveler who takes work whenever anyone needs an extra pair of hands. You're a bit well-known for accepting any job that pays well regardless of how dangerous or weird it might be. But unlike Alhaitham, you're more than happy to make conversation and you're often seen conversing with scholars from every one of the Six Darshans.

To everyone's knowledge, it's you that's the clingy one. You always have a hand around his arm or throw yourself at him shamelessly. Everyone assumes that Alhaitham tolerates it because he never pushes you off but he doesn't reciprocate affection to the degree that you do. If only those nosy scholars could see him now. Your newest job has you traveling to the Chasm to help collect and study the newly opened area. While the Chasm is close to Sumeru, a series of mysterious accidents led the entire mine to be closed. With the Liyue Qizing gradually reopening the area there's a lot of ground to cover. Alhaitham doesn't care much for the details except that this means you'll be away from him for a few years rather than a few weeks. As soon as you told him the expected date you'll return his face instantly soured. It was so cute that you couldn't help but press kisses to the corners of his mouth until they lifted. But one thing led to another and you're now trapped underneath his strong figure for the past couple of hours with no signs of him letting go. Every day you're gone equates to one minute he gets to keep you here.

No matter how much Alhaitham wishes to make you stay, even going so far as to bribe you, you eventually gather your things, press one last kiss to his lips, and leave him in his too-quiet house. He doesn't want to admit it but as soon as he closes the door he already feels lonely. But he'll learn to cope and continue with his life. He's been through more challenging obstacles and made it through. It's only two years, 3 months, 14 minutes, and 58 seconds. Alhaitham sighs and leans against the door. He's not going to make it.

Everyone else is content to whisper behind their hands about how the scribe seems to be more hostile. While Alhaitham doesn't have the most friendly personality, he's still somewhat polite until someone gives him a reason to exit the conversation. But now Alhaitham can barely get two sentences in before insulting someone. He doesn't even mean to do it on purpose, it just slips out. A girl who happens to share your eye color is met with a backhanded compliment that she should eat more fish. A man whose skin color is just a shade lighter than yours is met with an irritated scowl before he could even say anything. It's only now that people start to miss your presence because anything is better than a walking warning sign.

It only takes a few weeks for him to crack. He's not usually this starved of attention but the knowledge that he won't see you for another two years has him itching at his wrists. While on the outside there doesn't seem to be any changes, he's perfectly calm and collected, but his facade breaks when he starts making rash decisions. When he heard that his senior Kaveh needed a place to stay due to his financial situation, he offered to live with him much to everyone and his own surprise. Even Kaveh suspiciously asks why Alhaitham is being so generous. He doesn't dignify it with a proper answer, only that he better get his situation fixed within the next two years or the scribe is kicking him out.

As the second year rolls past, it's Kaveh who brings up Alhaitham's sudden mood change. He seems...excited. Kaveh chalks it up to Alhaitham being happy that Kaveh is finally moving out but that'd be kind of low even for someone like Alhaitham. As someone who cares about the arts and romance, there's a certain care in how Alhaitham cleans the house. Every systematic movement is laced with a longing gaze. His wrists are rubbed raw that Kaveh has to physically step in or he might rub so hard he reaches the bone. But above all the dangerous aura around Alhaitham is replaced with something Kaveh can only describe as restless patience.

"Honey, I'm home!" your happy voice is accompanied by the loud slam of the door crashing against the wall. Kaveh is startled by a random stranger entering their house but mostly at the term of endearment. Alhaitham only lowers his book at your voice before going back to reading. A bit rude in Kaveh's opinion but he can see the small smile that Alhaitham tries to hide behind the pages of his book. It's not like you aren't a bit devious yourself. So you retaliate by plucking the book out of his hands, taking a quick glance at his page number before placing it on the desk.

"Welcome back. I assume your job went well?" Alhaitham sighs as you kick his legs apart, plop yourself down into his lap, and rest your head against his chest. If you weren't so enthralled by the masterpiece that was Alhaitham's physique, you would have laughed at how the blond-haired man seemed to stare owlishly at the scene. His eyes almost fall out of their heads when Alhaitham doesn't push you off, doesn't throw you over his shoulder, or even make the slightest hint of being irritated or embarrassed. He just places his hands around your waist, rests his chin on your head, and sends an icy glare to which the blond-haired man scoffs before excusing himself. It's not anything different from what he usually does to onlookers although this is you and you can tell just how weary he is. How deeply he relaxes in your hold as the tension melts from his shoulders. How his eyes search over your body for any injuries that you might have gotten. It does look like you got a bit roughed up during your stay at the Chasm. Your hair is cut shorter than he remembers, you've put on some muscle, and there are a few nicks and cuts running along parts of your skin that are visible. But none of that matters because you're here. You're finally here.

"Aww, Haitham did you miss me?" you tease only to quickly eat your words when he manuever's you sideways so he can pin your back against the couch. You're hit with a sense of deja vu back to two years ago when you were about to leave for this trip.

"The next time you take a commission that lasts longer than two weeks, I'm coming with you or you're not going at all," he grumbles as he tucks himself into the crook of your neck with no signs of leaving. You laugh now but he's dead serious.

Dottore

You aren't sure when it started but at some point, you've been labeled as "Dottore's Favourite". He always seems to be the slightest bit nicer if you happen to be there, his voice a smidge less aggressive, and a lot more touchy. He's a Doctor first so he doesn't want to be contaminated by whatever bacteria people have gathered. But with you, he always seems to have a hand on you. Either harshly pinching your cheeks like a child with a crazed grin whenever you mumble something he deems stupid or pulling your arm of out its socket as he yanks you through the hallways of his lab. You act almost as his shadow, permanently glued to his feet and forced to follow wherever he goes.

You wouldn't consider yourself exceptional at your job but you did know how to listen. Perhaps it was your blatant disregard for your lack of safety since your head was always in the clouds that let you do your job with a steady hand. You don't blame your college's, it's hard to work under so much stress. If you had to do quantum physics and whatever the hell smart people do with someone who could, and would, kill you on the spot if you couldn't tell him what 3567 x 438 was on the spot, you think you could have exploded and crumbled on the spot. But you were just the ditzy receptionist who twirled a pencil on her nose more than on a paper. The only thing you were required to do was make sure Dottore was never bothered and let him know if anyone important needed his attention.

You've seen the Regrator the most compared to the rest of the Harbingers. You don't know what a banker needs from a doctor but you're not about to ask. It's not your business and you aren't paid enough to care about what your boss does. Besides, for such a handsome face his presence creeps you out which is saying something considering there's a maniacal doctor that treats human lives like numbers on a stats page. But since you are his "receptionist" you have to make conversation with him. Most of your interaction extends to him asking if the Doctor is in and you politely saying that he's out. You both pointedly ignore the loud crashes and angry yelling from one of his segments behind the closed steel door.

Once again, you don't consider yourself exceptional at your job. You're just a lousy receptionist at a place that doesn't require it and who spends all their time spinning in the office chair than doing actual work. You're just as replaceable as any grunt in this hell hole. So when Tartaglia waltzes through the doors, blinking at you with his dead fish eyes, before nodding to himself and hauling you out of your chair you can only hope that Dottore manages to remember that he has a meeting with Pantalone at noon.

You're hardly gone for an hour. Tartaglia was just bored, bored enough to come to Dottore of all people, that he happened to spot you who looked equally as bored. He just roughed you up a little before he deemed you completely useless and a horrible fighter before sending you back on your way. Seriously, if he wanted a fight he should have just picked one of the skirmishers instead of a damn receptionist. Although you may have to reconsider your position because as soon as you walk back into the lab, a girl is throwing herself at you and demanding where you've been.

You don't get the chance to answer before she's hurriedly running down twisting hallways, down the stairs, and punching in codes so complicated it looked like she was trying to make music out of them. Whatever questions you have are ignored in favor of getting you somewhere as fast as possible. It begins to make sense when you're finally shoved into a room, the girl who dragged you all this way throwing herself onto her knees and begging for forgiveness for letting you wander off.

The lab is an absolute disaster. This isn't the organized chaos you're acquainted with but the aftermath of a manic episode you're familiar with. Glass shards dripping with fluorescent liquid, research notes torn apart that flutter around the room as faux snow, and one mad doctor in the middle.

"Where have you been?"

For someone who destroyed years worth of progress, he sounds oddly calm and collected. His deep voice is firm while he fiddles with a test tube of blue liquid, watching it slosh around before placing it onto a broken table. He barely pays any mind to the girl currently on her hands and knees, forehead pressed to the ground while she glares at you to say something.

"Out," is your reply. A casual shrug of your shoulders even though the Dottore's back is to you. He's not wearing his usual white coat. That's too bad, you think it looks kinda cool. Really goes with his bird aesthetic.

"Out...out you say. Out. Out. Out," he mumbles softly, each time he say's the word "out", he taps the test tube harder onto the table. The lull in conversation only makes the pressure of the room drop lower before the tension snaps and he hurls the test tube at the girl still on her knees. It's only thanks to your reflexes that you manage to grab the collar of her uniform and throw her back just as the test tube collides with the floor, the liquid melting away the concrete where her head was. You can only give her a nudge and a look towards the door for her to scramble to her feet and flee as far away as she can. The slam of the door behind her acting as the nail in the coffin as Dottore's body seems to slump in on itself.

"Where have you been?" he asks again, running a hand through his messy hair. He sounds and looks far more tired, his fingers twitching to reach out and hold you but his pride stopping him. So you push yourself and step forward into his space, reaching your hands out to cup his face and rubbing soothing circles into his porcelain skin. He doesn't lean into your touch but he doesn't push you away either.

"Getting tossed around by Tartaglia. He came by saying he was bored and I just so happened to be there," you say absentmindedly, twirling the long lock of blue hair that hangs off the sides of his mask. He responds by snatching your wrist, squeezing hard enough until your bones creak. "Were you worried? Did you think I ran away?"

He doesn't dignify your question with a response. Simply shrugging your hands off his face before he reaches up to pinch your cheeks, a familiar cackle vibrating from his chest.

"As if you would have anywhere to go."

———

[taglist] <- if you want to be added, please read this first.

@genshins1mpact @creatorofstars @xoneaboveallx @timmyitsmeeee @raingoesboomboom @duhsies @thegayrubberducky @openingssequence @onowie

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gotham-daydreams · 1 year ago

Text

Chapter 3 Sneak Peak/Teaser:

Some additions have been added for the sake of it, and may not appear in the actual post when Chapter 3 is up. However, they do serve as a little glimpse into how certain characters feel at the moment. Glimpses which aren't exactly shown in the final post either, at least not like they are here.

Regardless, I hope y'all like this little piece of what's to come!

-----

Tim felt his heart leap to his throat. No way, had he really...? No. No, he couldn't get his hopes up... but he just couldn't help himself. Could anyone really blame him? After all this time, he finally felt like he was getting close, but he couldn't be too sure. No, no. Not yet. Though right here, right now he would. He would confirm it, and make himself certain. There was no way around it. ... Yet his heart rate increased as his hands began to shake.

No way, he thought. No way.

[...] He had to be sure. He had to be certain. He couldn't afford to be wrong. Not this time around. Not over you.

[...]

He almost couldn't believe it, staring at the document where he had listed all of the information he gathered from his search.

... He had done it. He finally did it.

[...]

Tim just looked at his screen, still processing all that had happened, suddenly feeling unsure.

Should he just keep this to himself, so that he could go after you? The others didn't know yet… they didn't have to know yet, this was a golden opportunity. Should he really be giving this up?

Though of course he just had to run his mouth before thinking things over. Of course.

[...]

Maybe... this whole thing wasn't such a good idea after all. Not with how he went about things, not with how he acted and just spit out the most important thing he had found without thinking, just out of spite.

If only he had gone about it differently. Then maybe he'd be with you instead of him.

Somewhere in your heart, you knew it couldn't last forever — and as if hearing your worries, an abrupt knock echoed throughout the apartment.

If only you had listened to how your heart stopped.

[...]

You made your way to the door, and yet here — right at the foot of it, an odd feeling began to blossom in your chest. You couldn't make sense of it, but as you reached for the knob, you found yourself stopping. It didn't feel like a good idea to open the door, and though you couldn't figure out why, you just took a small breath and pushed the feeling to the side.

Clearly, you were having a weird night, but just to humor yourself you decided to 'comply' with whatever this feeling was, and check who was at the door by looking through the peephole instead.

It was only then did you understand.

[..]

Your heart leapt from your chest to your throat when more knocks came, basically pounding against the door. Fuck. They were getting impatient.

[...]

Your hands were sweaty, your heart was racing, and you could hardly stand still as you waited and waited.

Life in Gotham had always worked in mysterious ways, but this was too much too soon. Despite months having past, in the moment, it felt like it had been days since you had left. Like you had barely just gotten a taste of freedom, of love and appreciation — only for it to be stripped away from you. To be taken by the very people you once turned to for such things.

Perhaps even staying in the city was too close. Maybe you should've moved farther away when you still had the chance.

[...]

Oh god, you were really doing this.

Not wanting to waste any more time, you took a step forward and tried to take a breath. Trying to calm down your heart a bit as you gathered your composure, and acted as normally as you could manage.

Walking forward, you rounded the corner, and there he was in all of his tainted glory.

[...]

The way he looked at you made you feel uncomfortable to say the least, and his whole demeanor was nothing you had seen from him before. Not directed towards you anyway, and you couldn’t help but struggle trying to remember the last time he smiled at you in person, but maybe you had just gotten used to seeing his back turned to you one too many times. Maybe you had just grown too familiar seeing his smile in photographs and painted pictures, instead of real life.

[...]

Your heart felt heavy in your chest, and despite how you tried to ignore it, you could feel that something was wrong. Though you just chalked it up to how you aren't used to them talking with you, or smiling towards you or anything. Or you tried to anyway, but you were slowly beginning to doubt it.

[..] On any other occasion you'd try to let it go, but doing so didn't feel right. It felt stupid, and almost as if you'd put yourself in more danger by trying to, so for now you'd just keep it in mind. Even if nothing came of it, at least you were being cautious, right?

.. All you could do was just hope that this would end as quickly as it started. For both your sake and their's, but mostly for your own.

[...]

The absence of sirens in the air and occasional gunshots didn't sit right with you, and even the amount of people driving by wasn't as much as it'd usually be. The city didn't feel busy, let alone as alive as it would've been on any other night, and it bothered you. It was like some sort of silent evacuation was going on, or a lock down of some kind that not everyone was informed of. There were more whispers than there were shouts, and a kind of awkward peace instead of striking violence and chaos.

You couldn't believe it, was this Gotham's first real quiet night?

CRACK.

Perhaps you spoke too soon.

[..]

It was only then did you really take a look around, and notice how the people you passed by looked equally tense and nervous. An unsaid but shared feeling of tension and anxiety hung in the air, and now that you noticed it — you couldn't ignore it.

[...]

Small beads of sweat began to roll down your neck. Your hands felt clammy, and you tried to steady your breathing once you realized it was wavering. You tried to fix any outward reaction you noticed you were displaying before they could catch on, fiddling with your sleeves as you tried to reassure yourself.

You were going to be okay... right?

[..]

So, you tried to ignore how the pit in your stomach continued to grow with each second that passed. How each sound caused you to tense, and sometimes jump the smallest bit, but you tried to ignore that too.

... Seconds turned into minutes, and it was only now that you fully realized how long this short walk felt. The sidewalks stretched on, and the streets never seemed to end.

The longer time dragged on, the worse you felt. The more you wanted to get away and just shove them aside. You didn't want this, you thought you wouldn't see them again after leaving, because why would you think otherwise? After all that time of them treating you like you were never there? And now this?

Just this whole situation was giving off mixed signals, but the worst part about it? It made you feel like you should've given up sooner, and who knows? Maybe you should've.

[...]

At least now you were able to take a breather, even if it was only temporary. With someone familiar that you actually felt comfortable enough to be around. To talk with, and exist in their space.

Sure, you'd have to step back outside eventually, but for now? You didn't have to. Not until the order was ready, and you'd have to face them again. Though that wasn't now, was it? For now you could just... be.

To think you'd feel so grateful just to be able to breathe in your own space.

To think that they'd try to take that away from you too, but you wouldn't let them. You couldn't. Not freely or willingly anyway.

You had given them enough, why couldn't they understand that? Why did they suddenly want to have what you tried to give them so long ago? Haven't they realized that the opportunity has already past, and they're the ones that let it happen? Maybe. Maybe some of them do. Maybe some of them did. They were smart like that, after all. Some had to know. They had to.

But not this one. Otherwise he wouldn't be here.

#yandere batfam #platonic yandere batfam #yandere dc #gn reader #platonic yandere #yandere x gn reader #neglected reader #yandere tim drake #yandere dc x reader #yandere batfam x reader

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shiftinglea · 8 months ago

Text

Death doesn’t exist.

Interestingly, in order for me to accept that I was the creator of my life, I had to learn more about death. It was a missing puzzle piece that allowed me to remember that I am God and can manifest whatever I desire.

But before that, I was quite doubtful about my ability to create. I would persist and believe (or try to anyway), but underneath all that, I had this encompassing fear of failure. Fear that by the end of my life, I would still not have succeeded with my manifestations. Fear of dying in regret and disappointment for not experiencing the life I desire.

And I thank my soul for guiding me to the book “Home with God” by Neal Donald Walsch, which allowed me to remember that there is no death. This book is a dialogue between the author and The God (aka the source of everything). When I was reading that book, it didn’t feel like I was learning something new. It felt like remembering something I already knew.

And in this post, I’ll be sharing information about death from that dialogue. Obviously, it’s your choice to believe it. But I would recommend you not listen to your mind. Listen to your soul; it speaks to you through your feelings. Intuition. Allow yourself to FEEL the information I’m sharing. Do not use logic for that; it’s quite limiting. So here we go:

Learning about death allowed me to stop fearing dying in regret and disappointment, which then produced confidence in my manifesting abilities and feeling at total peace every single day. There is nothing to be afraid of. Why? Because death doesn’t exist, and this is what I mean by that:

When people speak of death, they mean the end of life. But your life never ends. It’s the physical body that dies, and then at that moment, you discover that you are still alive. You keep on existing just in a different form. Death is simply an experience of leaving 3D and entering another dimension. And what’s the most fascinating thing: it’s different for everyone, or the experience of it is more like. Same with your life in physical form: it’s different for everyone depending on your beliefs, perception, and assumptions. You choose the experience of your life (consciously or unconsciously). The same with death: you choose your own experience of it. But what’s the same for everyone is that “death” has 3 stages.

The first stage is the same for everyone. “In stage one, at the moment of your death, you will instantly experience that life has gone on. This will be the same for everyone. There could be a brief period of disorientation, as you come to realize that you are not with your body, but, instead, are now separate from it.” During this stage, you realize even though your body died, your life hasn’t ended. For most people, it will be the first time they realize that they aren’t their bodies. The body is something you have. It’s not what you are. And then you move into the next stage.

The second stage is where everyone’s experience is unique depending on their beliefs about what happens after death:

• If you believe in reincarnation, for instance, you may experience moments from previous lives of which you have no previous conscious memory.

• If you believe that you will be enfolded in the embracing arms of an unconditionally loving God, that will be your experience.

• If you believe in a Day of Judgment or a Time of Reckoning, followed by paradise or damnation for all eternity, you will experience being judged and the judgment will turn out exactly as you imagined it would.

• If you died thinking that you deserve heaven, you will immediately experience that, and if you think that you deserve hell, you will immediately experience that. Heaven will be exactly as you imagined it would be, as will hell. If you have no idea about the specifics of either, you will make them up right on the spot. Then, these places will be created for you that way, instantly. You may remain in these experiences as long as you wish.

What’s important to know is that there is no Hell. But you can create hell for yourself if you choose to or believe that’s what you deserve.

However, you won’t stay there for one moment longer than you choose to. The moment you decide that you are done experiencing it, it’s finished. The same with Heaven.

Everyone remembers in the 2nd stage that they create their reality: in the physical and spiritual. In the physical realm, our creations may be delayed. But in the spiritual realm, our manifestations are instant. So you can experience whatever you desire for however long you wish. You can relive your life again or create a new one and enjoy that life for however long you want, and it will feel as real as in 3D. So during the 2nd stage, souls remember that they create their experiences and it’s instant. When they are done experiencing their creations, they move to the 3rd stage.

During the 3rd stage, you experience Ultimate Reality, which is merging with the Essence (God/Creator of all). You are enveloped with the infinite source of love and peace. You become one with The Creator. This is where you came from. It’s pure void. You are a pure being.

Every aspect of itself, every “good” and “bad” trait the soul thought it had is being absorbed by the Creator. It melts all shame, pride, fears, every character trait and leaves the soul with a beautiful emptiness. Experiencing nothing but Oneness. “Now you are merged with this Light and you feel dissolved. This “melting” completes the change in your identity. You no longer identify yourself in any way or at any level with the separate aspect of being that you called “you” in your physical life.”

The most fascinating thing is that you can experience the merging with everything during your physical life. This is what the void is for. When you reach the void state, you merge with Oneness where creation is instant.

During the 3rd stage of death, you can stay merged with the Creator for as long as you desire. But you won’t stay there forever because that’s it’s not what you desire. Because if you stay forever in this pure bliss and ecstasy, you would stop identifying it as “bliss” and “ecstasy”. Because there is nothing else there. There is no opposite of that. So you will desire to recreate yourself anew and choose your next physical incarnation because that’s the only way for you to experience your own magnificence.

The purpose of death is to reestablish your identity and to help you remember who you really are: One with God, an infinite source of creation. The purpose of physical life is to experience this knowing.

I want to point out the importance of your system of beliefs because they shape your life and your death (during the 2nd stage). You are constantly creating your reality. In physical life and after that. Some people think different rules apply in death (or in life). But no, it’s the same rules, the only difference is that your creations are instant after death. But again, they can be instant in your physical realm if you choose to believe that you can create instantly. It’s all about your beliefs and assumptions.

For most people who aren’t into LOA and don’t know that that’s are creators of their reality, their “death” will be the moment of remembrance that they are indeed creators. That they never stopped creating and they will see it clearly. But they don’t have to wait until death to experience themselves as God and creators. You can do it in physical life. It’s always your choice. You shape your life in physical and your life in spiritual.

For me, knowing more about death allowed me to stop feeling anxious about whether I’ll manifest my dream life before I die. The fact is that I never die, I just change my form. Life is eternal. It’s the body that dies. But you are not your body. It’s something you have. It helps you to experience wonderful things that you have chosen to experience.

#loa tumblr #loassumption #void state #loa blog #neville goddard

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reflections-in-a-critical-eye · 3 months ago

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Are You Sure?! - Episode 7 Observations

9.5/10 ☆

Something clicked for me in the latest AYS?! episode. After years of following these two people and getting excited for any interaction or information regarding them, it was now perhaps the first time when watching them felt like not witnessing something special. Oh, I know how this sounds, but it's not what you think and I will explain.

When I say it didn't feel special I meant that nothing felt like a novelty. You know how shocked and excited we all became when Jimin called Jungkook during a birthday wlive? Or the collective metaphorical screaming on social media every time one would get close into the other one's space in some behind the scenes clip? That reaction for me was also a result of having to see that in a larger context in which jikook were not always the main focus.

Now with AYS?! and seven episodes in, I'm used to basically everything. The evening and morning routine, the soft talking, the flirting, the playfighting, the way they eat together. The nakedness and all the tattoos on display. I've developed a tolerance to it. And episode 7 really helped in cementing that. Yeah, they're half naked in a hot spring. Of course they are. They're brushing their teeth and do their morning skincare routine together. Of course they are. Jungkook buys the snacks and Jimin is in charge of feeding him. Of course. They laugh at the same things and everything is funny when they're together. Of course they do. They're playfighting again? Why would anyone be surprised at this point?

And I love that we got here. It's everything I wanted without ever thinking that it could be possible. It is extremely satisfying and fun to watch them. It has always been, but AYS?! was an open window into their lives together in a way that it hadn't happened before.

Sapporo is a special segment for many reasons. And as much as it's fun to see them have a good time, the impending military enlistment looms like a shadow over their trip. Jungkook is the one who seems intentional in talking about it in a way that makes light of the situation, while Jimin is more on the silent side.

But all this inevitably made me think of a downside. Because how am I suppose to go back to waiting for an aknowledged look while Jimin and Jungkook would sit at opposite ends in an interview setting? Or not doing a wlive together? Getting minimal interactions because there's 5 other people there? It would feel like something is not right. Jimin and Jungkook come in a package and they do everything together. They laugh and never get bored together. Jungkook cooks for Jimin while Jimin fills the exact needed space and purpose in that kitchen. Jimin can talk about learning to snowboard with Jungkook's friends and that conversation to remain between them and no one else. They can take showers together and then act like stupid boys in some endurance contest in the freezing water and it's their own thing and theirs only.

AYS?! Sapporo is bittersweet. For Jimin and Jungkook because as much fun they have, they know that their remaining time of freedom is getting to a close. Snow is beautiful there and they are together, but in a few weeks whatever sentiment that might evoke will be in the back of their minds when their reality will be completely different. That's why making those last minute memories together was so important. And they knew that and Jungkook felt the need to say it out loud. Like a constant reminder of how special those few days were.

And it's bittersweet for me too. While there's always the option of rewatching, who knows when such an opportunity (and privilege) will arise once again? Maybe never. Maybe AYS?! will be the first and last time to be able to take a peak through that window at their life...

#m thoughts #jikook #jikook travel show #jikook are you sure

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evelynpr · 2 months ago

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Genshin Official Relationships and Status

Something to take note off in character relationships is what their "official and known" relationships are. So, I decided to try to make a chart of one with the playable cast and some extras.

This is a draft though. If you have criticisms and comments, absolutely please do leave them because I don't think my interpretations of these government systems are that accurate.

Anyways, here they are! The higher the placement, the higher the authority. Distance does not apply, and the legend is in each of the pictures.

Mondstadt: That's a lotta knights

They can be split between the Church and Knights, but the Church is still under the Grand Master as far as I know.

Power is surprisingly concentrated to 1/2 individuals only for a nation of freedom...Mond you gotta work on that...

Jean, Diluc, Kaeya, and Lisa are arranged the way they are in reference to the Klee summer event where they passed on who was looking after Mond.

Diluc still retains his high position because he has so many high credentials and connections (The Darknight Hero, Mond's richest man, high status in an intelligence network), despite being the Ex-Cavalry Captain.

Rosaria is an official recognized nun, but her vigilante works are by her own accord, hence the colors.

I am not sure whatsoever where Jean and Barbara's father, the Cardinal, should really be placed, or if he even still holds the position.

Poor Noelle does so much more Mond, but is lowest in status...please just make her a knight already T__T

Liyue: Zhongli and his powerful lesbians

I really am not sure if Ningguang is who Liyue's closest "leader", but that is how I felt during most of Liyues events

I'm assuming that the adepti now have a lesser status in Liyue because of the shift in power to the humans during the archon quest

How high Beidou's status is is, completely informal. She's right beside Ningguang because they do find each other to be equal competitors in their own way.

Those directly connected to Zhongli are those I assumed to have taken direct orders from him, hence why Beidou and Keqing are not included although they do respect him as their archon (Keqing in her own way)

I feel like I'm missing people here, compared to Mond, so uh, help me out here-

Inazuma: They just had a civil war...woops

I am reallyyy unsure how to label Sangonomiya island's status. Are they under the shogun? Are they their own separate territory?

Otherwise, Inazuma is pretty straightforward with its 3 factions and families

Sumeru: The whole government was just overthrown

Are there like, genuinely so sages right now, or replacement Grand Sage??? Nahida you need to do something asap-

Scara doesn't exactly have equal status to Alhaitham as Acting Grand Sage, but I felt it was more important to show that Scara is working directly under Nahida

Speaking of which, the title "shadow" is used because it's the same role that Ei served to Makoto, which I find poetic. If there is an official or better title tho, I'd love to hear it.

Hopefully, as time passes, there will be more representatives from the desert with high status. Poor Candace is carrying the desert's status on her back-

Should I have included the Corps of Thirty even if there are no playable characters...?

Fontaine: Fancy Schmancy Titles

I honestly reallyyyy wished that Neuv and Wrio were on equal standing, but in the eyes of Fontaine, that probably just isn't true.

Even so, absolute do not underestimate how important Wrio's role is in Fontaine's justice system, because without the Fortress functioning as it is, so much of Fontaine's justice would fall apart.

Despite Furina's death penalty and retirement, I still believe she deserves the title of archon with the highest status. No matter what happens, she is still Fontaine's idol and savior. (Besides, if she wanted/needed anything, Neuv would give it to her.)

How high Navia, Clorinde, and Chevy's statuses are in relation to each other in reality is...not explicit?

Really, Clorinde is just another employee under Fontaine's justice system, and isn't a head in anyway, while Chevy and Navia are actual leaders. But, Clorinde is the best Champion Duelist, so does that make them cancel out...?

Anyways that's all from me! It's pretty interesting to me just how much of the cast are part of their respective nation's government, which only makes sense given the kind of ruckus the traveler causes. Have a good day!

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queenie-official · 4 months ago

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Part One Of Summer Love: ‘Camp Wookiee’

series masterlist celebration event camp logo

pairing: Modern!Anakin Skywalker x fem!reader

word count: 11.4k Next part

in hindsight, you probably should have been listening to what the camp director, Bail; was saying. in your defense no one else was, which you would later find out was because they've all heard the same speech, rules, and warnings a dozen times already.

you were busy scanning over all the faces on the screen- well the ones who had their cameras on anyway. each person you'd seen so far was shockingly attractive, a few people in particular caught your eye. A girl, Padme Amidala. A boy, Ben Kenobi. and lastly the executive director who was simply watching Bail speak to make sure it was done correctly, Qui-Gon Jinn.

the only thing that snapped you out of your admiration was the sound of your phone pinging, thankfully you were muted. glancing at your phone you saw the contact belonging to your best friend Honey and made the instant decision that she was far more important than what was happening on the Zoom call.

so you not so secretly reached for the mouse and clicked the camera button off, relaxing when you knew no one could see you anymore.

'how's the call going?' her first message read, followed by 'anyone cute on the staff 👀' making you snort.

you lean back in your chair while you type back 'i think it may be a requirement to be at least an 8/10 just to get hired’ you watch as three dots appear on the corner of the phone screen.

'well it's a good thing you're absolutely stunning 😚' you read when her message finally sent and you can't help but smile big. you loved this girl, she always knew what to say to make your day brighter even on an already sunny day.

you're about to text back when the Camp Director's words finally get your attention "And i think that's everything you'll need to know! now if you have any questions feel free to message me or Qui-gon Jinn privately. though i would like to remind you all, most of the basic information you need can be found directly on the Camps Website." shit you really should have been paying attention, they were supposed to went over the different roles that would be at the camp more in-depth during this call.

like hell you'd reach out to either of them privately and admit you weren't listening though, you bite your lower lip and slink back into your chair. "We look forward to welcoming you all to Camp Wookiee in person, see you in two weeks" Qui-Gon says right before ending the Zoom call leaving you staring at your computer screen blankly. fuck.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

in the end it was Honey who had helped you calm down from the freak out you had after the Zoom call, and two weeks went by faster than you thought it would.

you still had a day before you had to be at the camp but because of how far you lived you planned on leaving within the next couple of hours.

"i think you need to calm down" Honey says from where she's sat on your bed, she'd been watching you run around her and haphazardly chuck things into your suitcase that you knew you'd need based on the email that was sent out last week on what would be supplied for you at the camp.

"i'm calm" you rush out while running a hand through your hair, pushing down the slight panic you felt in your chest. man you really should have paid attention on that call.

"you're going to be fiiiine, i doubt they'll kick you out of the camp for something as small as not paying attention during a Zoom meeting- that wasn't even mandatory by the way" to her credit she makes some good points, however the zoom meeting was highly encouraged for newcomers and you fall in that category.

“it's not like they're going to quiz you y/n" you let out a groan at her words whilst shoving the last of the items you needed in your suitcase and zipping it up.

"i know, i know- i just don't want to seem irresponsible" you huff while plopping down on the bed next to her. "or embarrass myself because i probably missed a massive amount of information" definitely missed a massive amount of information more like- the call was an hour long…

"whatever they told you in the call they'll definitely go over again at the Camp, we've been over this." Honey reaches over and lightly pinches your arm making you laugh as you pull away. "and before you say 'we don't know that for sure' we do know that for sure because it's supposed to be a staff of forty and only fifteen of you were actually on the call" she raises a pointed brow and you let out a sigh knowing she's right.

"okay, i'll try my best to not panic the whole ride to the camp" you say with a half smile, standing up and stretching. "i should probably leave now if i wanna get there on time tomorrow" you mumble glancing at the time on your phone, 8:30 pm.

"are you sure you don't want me to drive you? i just don't think it's wise to be driving all night and then be exhausted for the actual first day there" she'd already offered at least ten times and you'd already declined what felt like a dozen more.

"i'm sure, worst case i'll be a little sleepy but it's not like i'll be taking care of the campers the first day. staff has to show up a week before to get more comfortable in their roles" you say confidently, it was the one piece of info you did learn from the Zoom call before you started drooling over how attractive each member of the staff was.

"mhm, well i'll carry your pillow for you" she said while making a kissy face at you jokingly.

"awww thanks, how generous of you to leave the heavy stuff for me to carry" you say with a roll of your eyes as you begin to lug your suitcase down the stairs.

"really? no thank you kiss" Honey feigns hurt before snatching your pillow off your bed and quickly catching up to you.

"all of my kisses are reserved for my future love" you joke, and Honey purposely bumps into you with her hip before you can get to the door making you sway ever so slightly.

"lame, no boy deserves your love- they all suck" fair point you had to admit, honestly you only signed up to work at the camp for the social interaction. the most you plan is to have a hallway crush on one of the staff members just to save you from boredom and then forget about said crush as soon as you return home in the fall.

you pop the trunk of your car while Honey locks up your shared house. she was going back home for the summer to visit family, not wanting to be left completely alone for months on end and become a statistic. her words, not yours.

"i guess this is goodbye" she says with a finality to it, putting on her best sad voice. you laugh as she throws the pillow she was holding in the trunk and closes it.

"you make it sound like i’m dying or leaving forever" the drama from this girl, it’s not like you’re much better though. she fake sniffles and places a hand on her forehead putting on her best damsel in distress performance.

"my love is going off to war and she jokes as if she isn't leaving me for two months" there’s a smile peaking through as she speaks and you can't help but laugh, throwing your arms around her in a hug.

"i love you so much, i don't know how i’m going to survive without you" you say half joking as you go along with her antics. truth be told, you really don't know how you're going to survive without her. you both spend just about every second of every day in each other's company and even when you aren't you message so much you might as well be hanging out in person anyway.

you checked the Camp's Website before you applied and know that they do have wifi for staff and the kids mostly in case of emergencies, but just because there is wifi doesn't mean it's good wifi. it's the middle of the woods after all, you'll be lucky if photos even go through.

you both pull apart with matching toothy grins on your faces. "text me when you get to the camp?" Honey asks and you nod knowing she just wants to make sure you get there safe.

"of course, text me when you get to your parent's house?" you watch her smile grow wider while opening the car door.

"always" she responds while you climb in and buckle. "see you in two months" she shouts once the door is closed, you roll the window down and she pokes her head and arms through so you can both share one last slightly awkward hug.

"see you in two months, don't forget me while i'm gone" you say with an exaggerated pout as she pulls out of the window, standing a few steps back from the car so you can pull out of the parking lot properly.

"how could i forget a face like that" you hear her say as you roll the window back up, blasting the air conditioner.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

the actual drive to Camp Wookiee wasn't too bad, you know excluding the fact you were up all night. but every negative has a positive, the positive of this being you managed to make it to the camp an hour before you needed to be.

turning onto the gravel road sent a chill up your back, a mix of excitement and nerves. the yawn that exited your mouth showing the exact opposite of that though and the closer you get to the end of the drive the more tired you realize you are. you make a mental note to take a nap once you've parked.

pushing down another yawn as you pull into the staff parking area you immediately do a double take and decide against a nap not even a minute later. there were five cars already parked side by side, and a group of people standing in front of one just chatting.

you only recognized one of them because he was on the Zoom call, Ben Kenobi at least that's who you think it was. It'd been two weeks so maybe you were mixing up names. either way, you avoid making accidental eye contact with any of them making sure to focus entirely on parking in a straight line.

now to sit in the car and pretend like you hadn't been seen or to get out and greet the four men? you ask yourself with your hand hovering over the keys, debating whether to turn off the engine.

you look at your side mirror taking in the three men you didn't recognize. all tall- one of them was bald, another with a blonde buzzcut and lastly a boy with curly sandy blonde hair, you couldn't see his face though.

he was turned completely towards the man who you were pretty sure was Ben. after weighing your options you decided staying inside the car seemed like the best option compared to meeting four men at once.

you'd rather run into four bears, after all you didn't know what kind of people they were and you certainly didn't want to find out by yourself. maybe when more staff got here you'd be braver, in the meantime you shift your hand from hovering over the keys to the volume knob. turning up the music ever so slightly to drown out any chatter you may hear and leaning back in the seat, unbuckling yourself just to be a little more comfortable.

you look out the windshield taking in the beauty of the forest, the green from the trees reflecting slightly onto your car thanks to the sun. it was serene but short-lived as you jump from someone knocking on your window.

"sorry didn't mean to startle you" Ben said carefully as you rolled down the window. "we saw you pull in and realized you must be the new girl" he said while pointing his thumb over his shoulder, clearly referring to the three men he was originally standing with.

"new girl… like singular?" you blink confused, wouldn't there be other new girls- oh no what if you were the only new girl and the rest of the new staff were all guys?? you felt a bubble of panic begin to brew in your stomach.

"well new worker in general, everyone else working this year are returning Staff from last year." well that's almost worse, at least if it was only guys you'd still have a chance to befriend people. the staff all already knowing each other meant they'd already formed their clicks leaving you to fight for a way in. so much for joining the camp for social interactions, looks like the most educated conversation you'll be having is with some 10-year-old about whatever cartoon they're into.

you press your lips into a thin line before forcing a small polite smile. "my name is y/n" you extend your hand to him and he shakes it with a somewhat firm grip.

"Ben Kenobi, don't suppose you want to come with us onto the actual campgrounds?" you knit your brows together in confusion, turning to the clock thinking your car might have fucked up again and given you the wrong time. Ben seems to read your mind though, letting out a soft laugh before speaking up. "you're not late if that's what you're wondering. Windu is one of the camp directors, he's been setting up since 7:00 o’clock this morning along with Jinn. as long as they're here we're allowed on campgrounds even before the official start time."

okay so maybe Honey’s gotten into your head with all of her true crime stories. you relax at his explanation, reaching over and turning off your engine. "yea i'd appreciate that because i have no clue where i’m supposed to go in all honesty." he nods, taking a step back so you can climb out of the car. it felt nice being able to finally stretch out your legs after the long drive.

"i'll introduce you to everyone. Come on, oh and you can leave your stuff in the car for now. you won't know which cabin to put it in until later anyway." you give a small hum of acknowledgment and lock the car behind you before following after him.

as soon as you came to a stop in front of everyone all eyes were on you, maybe it was the height differences but you honestly felt like a little kid. "this is Windu, one of the camp directors" Ben introduces and when he politely offers you his hand with a somewhat stern look you shake it.

"don't let him scare you, he's nicer than he looks. his face is just stuck like that" you turn your head to whoever made the jab; the boy with sandy blond hair. his eyes are a beautiful shade of blue and he wore a smug smile on his face- he was probably the prettiest boy you'd ever seen.

you want to laugh but aren't sure if it'd be appropriate considering the man he was making fun of was your boss, but when Windu just rolls his eyes with a sigh you get the idea that this is a normal occurrence around here.

"I'm Anakin" he introduces himself and sticks out his hand for you to shake, you shyly take it and his hand engulf yours. there was a confidence to him you noticed or maybe an arrogance but who were you to judge someone you just met?

"ignore him y/n, he's an idiot who'd probably turn up late if he hadn't carpooled with me" Ben interjects pulling your attention away from Anakin, your hands slipping from each other in the process.

"hey i'm never late" He denies but judging from the smile on his face and the lack of actual sincerity in his voice you could tell he didn't even believe himself.

"yes you are and the only times you're not is when i drive you" Ben says with a roll of his eyes and Anakin throws his hands up in defense. you can't help but smile, holding back a laugh as you watch the two interact. it was clear just how close the two were from how they bantered but the fact they carpooled together confirmed it for you.

"I'm Rex" the last man spoke up, he had a small smile on his face, one that seemed endearing like he too enjoyed watching Anakin and Ben's dynamic.

"like a T-Rex?" you ask jokingly, it felt like the natural thing to do. if they all could tease each other who's to say you can't either; when Anakin let out a snort followed by a few snickers which then morphed into genuine laughter when he saw Rex's disgruntled face you felt like you'd made the right choice.

Rex rolled his eyes but smiled after shoving Anakin away. "looks like you're gonna fit right in here y/n" he said while crossing his arms, and you couldn't help but beam.

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so much for fear of having to fight a way in, you'd spent the last hour just getting to know Ben, Anakin and Rex. Windu had to go back to actually helping prep with Jinn and Bail.

throughout the hour more people had shown up and made their introductions to you, and as it turns out everyone got along with each other. well in their own way, there was definitely some not-so-secret animosity between some people but they didn't let it interfere with the general welcoming feel of the whole camp.

eventually, the introductions stopped and the only reason you got anyone's name was because Ben whispered them over to you.

"good morning everyone!" the chatter throughout the room quickly died down as Qui-Gon Jinn's voice echoed throughout the Log Hall. "i'm going to make this brief since all of you have heard this speech before" you felt your stomach drop, right everyone working this year was returning staff besides you.

so much for Honey's 'remain calm because they'll go over it again for the people who didn't show up on the call' advice. despite the fear you couldn't wait to text Honey and say 'i told you my fears were valid' the second you got to the room you'd be staying in.

"Today is all about settling in, so don't get too worried that we're putting you to work immediately." he said with a smile and teasing tone. if only it had the calming effect he'd intended it to have.

"Mace Windu has posted all of the info about where you will be staying, who you'll be bunking with, and which cabins you'll be responsible for on the wall over there" He motions to where Windu is standing on the opposite end of the lodge and Windu waves back.

it was pretty clear that most of this speech was meant for you and you alone given the fact that everyone else was on their phones or having hushed conversations. it made your cheeks flush slightly but you were internally grateful.

"additional camp roles are next to your names on the roster as well, and remember campers will be arriving Monday morning next week. in the meantime relax, enjoy yourselves, get used to the environment and we will see you for dinner at 5:00" he finishes with a clap of his hands, and the room erupts into loud chatter again.

"i wonder who y/n will be partnered with, she's the outlier" Rex questioned out loud, you angle yourself in his direction and he begins to clarify himself. "we've had the same partners for the last two years." you quirk a brow wondering how that's going to work, with you here there was an odd number of counselors.

"they're putting us counselors in groups of three this year" Ben states, he seems to always manages to answer your unasked questions. "i asked Jinn a few weeks ago when i heard they were hiring a new staff member."

Anakin rolls his eyes from his seat beside you, why he chose to sit there instead of spacing out more like Rex and Ben did you weren't sure; but the small heat radiating from his thigh onto yours and the tickle of his skin every time his arm brushed against you kept you from wanting to voice the question out loud.

"of course you asked, honestly i don't get why you don't just apply for a position as Camp director yet" Anakin huffed and you bit back a smile.

"if i did that you'd be out of a ride, Camp directors arrive even earlier than counselors." he retorts.

"aww you really care about me" Anakin joked, putting a hand over his heart and laying it on thick. you couldn't help the giggle that bubbled out of you and could only wonder if this is how people felt when watching you and Honey interact with one another.

Anakin turned towards you looking happy just to have made you laugh. you could get used to his attention on you that's for sure, looks like you found that hallway crush for the summer.

"i think you're partnered up with Padme" Ben says effectively interrupting whatever moment you and Anakin were having. you remember that name, she was the girl you had admired on the Zoom call- natural beauty that's for sure.

you had a feeling you two would get along, what you didn't like however was the feeling you got when you noticed Anakin light up more than you thought humanly possible just at the mere mention of her name. shit.

"oh here he goes" Ben says as Anakin begins to rant about just how gorgeous and amazing Padme is, Anakin just continues like he didn't hear him say anything at all. "he's had a crush on her since his first year working at the camp" Ben says directly towards you, the information not news to Rex.

this just served as another reminder that you were the only new person working at the camp this year, what a shame too. you could get over it though, you'd only known Anakin for what? a little over an hour maybe. at the very least you two had a good connection so friends it was.

you hadn't noticed but you started to resign yourself from the conversation as Anakin went on and on about Padme making Ben and Rex tease him even more. voices blurred together and you found yourself completely tuning out the world around you- maybe this was going to be a little harder than you thought.

a tap on your shoulder tethered you back to reality, you turned completely to see who was trying to get your attention.

had she somehow gotten even prettier in person? Padme stood behind you with her long curly brunette hair pulled back into a ponytail to keep it out of her face and off her neck. she was wearing her camp Issued T-shirt already, it was cream-colored with the Camp Wookiee logo right in the middle.

"hey! I'm Padme" she says with a smile extending her hand. her smile was perfect and made you feel guilty somehow, how could you feel negative about someone who seemed as sweet as they were beautiful? you shake her hand whilst mirroring the same smile on her face.

"i'm y/n, it's nice to meet you" all you could think was that her and Anakin certainly would make the most stunning couple. if he had a crush on her since his first year did she just not realize or not care.

the latter made your heart flutter with hope which you quickly shoved down with disgust at just how quickly you managed to crush on him. Honey would be so disappointed in you or eat up every second of this, probably both knowing her.

"sorry if this is kind of random but i just checked the roster and saw that we were partnered up. well you, me and Jasmine but she's already headed to the cabin we'll be staying at and responsible for." she spoke with a sugar-sweet tone, not the kind that made you feel sick to the stomach; when she spoke it was genuine kindness not a single ounce of malice to be found. "i was going to head there now but figured you might want to walk with me since i'd be easier than finding it yourself. trust me the signposts can get confusing quickly."

"that would be amazing, thank you so much" you say while standing up. you hadn't noticed the silence coming from the three boys until Rex and Ben finally spoke up to say their goodbyes to you.

Anakin seemed a bit awestruck by Padme's presence alone, it was kind of funny to see. you give him a knowing look while simultaneously pushing down that nasty taste that began to cling to the back of your throat. he smiled thankfully not noticing any changes in your behavior and gave you a soft goodbye of his own.

"come on, i'll help you carry your stuff from your car." Padme said and began leading the way out of the hall.

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a groan of relief leaves your body as you finally plop down on the bed in the cabin. your spine burns with pain before melting into comfort as you relax all the muscles in your body.

the part of the cabin you were staying in wasn't super spacious but it was cozy, there were two bunk beds and to your surprise, Padme and Jasmine chose separate bunks. maybe they weren't close but you still figure they'd rather bunk together than with a stranger or maybe they both just wanted the top bunk and that's the actual reason they didn't choose the same one, you didn't bother asking.

you went with the bottom bunk of Padme's, you may not know either of the girls but at least she'd gone out of her way to help you find the cabin and explain how everything was going to work.

according to Padme, there are a bunch of different cabins all with different names. the one you'd be staying at was called Naboo, Anakin and Ben were at the Coruscant cabin, Rex was staying at the Alderaan cabin.

each cabin has the same layout; there's the staff cabin room where the counselors stay which is directly connected to the room where the campers will be staying because it's easier to supervise them that way. then there's a bathroom with multiple stalls and a shower room for everyone in the cabin to use. simple really but not like you needed anything fancy.

the staff cabin room itself has two dressers to be shared amongst whoever's staying there, you and Padme were sharing one and Jasmine had the other dresser too herself. you didn't mind, both you and Padme were pretty conscious about the space you took up so you both managed to fit everything you brought into one out of the two long drawers.

you turn your head to look over at Jasmine, she was beautiful. she had fine long black hair and hazel eyes that seemed to lean more green in the shitty cabin light. your joke with Honey about being at least an 8/10 to be hired was not really feeling like a joke anymore. speaking of Honey, you really should text her.

just as you're about to pull out your phone Padme walks back into the room; she'd left to use the bathroom after helping you settle in. you smile at her when you both make eye contact and she's quick to plop down on the edge of the bed next to you.

Maybe you were imagining it but there felt like a small tension in the air, not between you and Padme but between her and Jasmine. perhaps it was the way Jasmine furrowed her brows the second Padme entered the room or the way she turned to face the wall and focus extra hard on her phone but something was definitely off- lots of puzzle pieces you itched to put together.

"so y/n" she started and you sat up to make more room on the bed before she continued. she happily took up the silent offer, moving to sit properly in the middle so you guys could face each other criss-cross applesauce. "what brings you to Camp Wookiee?" ah so this is going to go the 21 questions route, sorry Honey looks like you're not getting updates anytime soon.

"i just thought it would be fun and a good way to meet new people" plus the pay at this camp in particular was extremely good but you weren't going to say that out loud.

"well good news the people here are great" you swear she mumbled 'some more than others' at the end of that.

"anybody you'd recommend i avoid?" you ask unable to brush it off.

"i-" you watch as her eyes briefly flutter over to Jasmine before she clears her throat and locks eyes with you again. "i'm not sure that's my place to say, but i can say you've done a pretty good job so far of choosing who to hang out with." that was genuine and so was that tension you sensed earlier.

"Anakin, Ben and Rex you mean?" she nods while leaning back onto her hands a bit, letting whatever negative thoughts she held towards the third person in the room roll off her shoulders.

you and Padme clicked pretty quickly after that, and throughout your talk you learned what you'd be in charge of once the campers arrived. you'd be partnered with Anakin and Rex at the arts and crafts center which you were a little bit more excited for than you'd care to admit. she was in charge of the zip line course this year along with Ben, the three camp directors deemed them both the most responsible which seemed to check out.

time seemed to fly talking with her, she had an easygoing air about her that made conversation flow naturally- what on earth could Jasmine have done to make someone like that not like her? weird.

you decided that you'd make it your mission to find out after you discovered she shared the same favorite dessert with you, followed by your favorite book. after all someone with as good a taste as that has to have a valid reason not to like another person.

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you both kept chatting while walking side by side to the Log Hall for dinner with Jasmine not far behind. when you enter the Hall you're flagged down by the boys almost immediately.

"you can go sit with them" Padme said after realizing where you were looking.

"you don't wanna sit with them?" you ask curiously as you both move into the food line.

"i don't mind it.." she trails off while grabbing an apple to put on her tray.

"but you'd rather not." you finish her sentence for her. "i thought you said they were good people?" she hands you a pudding cup with a reassuring smile when she reads the confusion and worry on your face.

"they are, i'd just prefer to spend my time with my friends" she says while pointing with her chin to a group of girls on the opposite side of the hall. "you're welcome to join me, i just figured you'd want to be with them." she shrugs her shoulders, the choice was up to you.

you go through the rest of the line stuck in an internal debate as your tray fills up. it's not that you didn't want to sit with the boys, just you really wanted to sit with Padme and maybe you'd get along well with her friends; but then again the boys clearly wanted you to sit with them.

already having to pick sides and you're not even a full day in yet, you had to fight off the urge to audibly sigh.

"any chance your friends would move tables?" the question tumbled out of your mouth before you could think twice. was it rude to ask that? too late now.

"maybe tomorrow" she offered, and you couldn't help but frown. it was a perfectly reasonable answer just not the one you were hoping for.

"no it's okay actually, i'll just sit with you guys." this time she frowned.

"y/n i promise i won't be offended if you wanna go sit with them instead of me" she said with a laugh half teasing half sincere.

"i knoooww, but i wanna sit with all of you guys" you grumble, ever the indecisive person and always the people pleaser.

"okay then how about the boys come sit with us" you raise a brow as she turns to them, waves and then points to her table. they get the idea and stand up with their trays, you feel a little guilty for having them move but they didn't seem to mind at all.

there's a bit of an awkwardness at first as both groups learn to navigate around each other. you notice pretty quickly how almost polar opposite the boys are from Padme's friends. her friends were as calm and easygoing as her, the boys were full of energy and teasing- well Ben and Rex seemed to be able to reign it in a lot more than Anakin. which to be fair they already had calmer vibes than him anyway.

"she's great right?" Anakin asked you quietly with a nudge of his elbow. he chose to sit next to you again, there was plenty of space for him on the bench to scooch down but it didn't seem like he was aware of that. more likely he was and simply put just didn't care. you raise a brow, "Padme" he added quickly before you could ask.

there's that taste again. you push it down, taking a scoop out of your pudding cup as you nod "yea she is, we get along well too" you answer honestly making sure to sound more enthusiastic than you felt.

the blinding smile he gives you at the confession makes you wish you'd chosen to just sit with the girls alone. pitiful. "what're you two whispering about?" Padme asks with a smile and a look in her eyes that you couldn't decipher.

"just about how great it's gonna be working in the crafts center together, Rex is going to hate us by the end of camp" Anakin answers for the both of you, the lie rolling off his tongue naturally.

"going to? who's to say i don't already" Rex says with a cross of his arms and Anakin rolls his eyes.

"hey what'd i do?" you frown and Rex smiles.

"the first thing you did was compare me to a T-Rex" he defends his prior statement.

"i did no such thing!" you say through a laugh.

he points at you accusingly before saying "like a T-Rex?" in a high-pitched tone mocking you, you can't even take offense because he sounds so unserious.

"i don't sound like that Rex" you snicker only for Anakin to cut in.

"you're right, you sound more like this" he says while pinching his nose to sound nasally and you punch him in the arm. "ow, she hit me!" he says in artificial pain acting like you truly wounded him as he rubs the spot you punched.

"i definitely don't sound like that" you huff and Padme backs you up.

"hmm i'm probably mixing it up with Rex's voice then" he says smugly and Rex kicks him from under the table, judging from the wince he lets out it must have truly hurt unlike your punch.

"no kicking" Ben chastises Rex and Anakin decides no one is safe as he mocks him in a nasally voice too. "oh real mature Anakin" Ben rolls his eyes but there's no real fire behind it as you all poke fun at each other for the rest of dinner.

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"do you have a crush on Anakin?" you whip your head towards Padme blinking rapidly confused and trying to process if you heard her correctly. she didn't repeat herself nor back down.

bold of her to ask that when the man she's talking about is not even five feet away; you had all split up heading in opposite directions towards your respective cabins. "no i don't have a crush on him, why?"

she purses her lips in thought "it seems like he likes you and vice versa" you laugh loud and abrupt, this time she's the one staring at you confused.

"wait you're serious?" you stop in your tracks but she continues walking. well that crushes your hopes of her knowing about his crush and just not reciprocating.

"you'd make a cute couple" she says with a shrug of her shoulders, the absolute irony.

"i just met him today" you say; speeding to catch up with her again. she just smiles and gives you that look she gave you in the log hall again. "i'm serious Padme!" you've grown more defensive than you needed to be.

"so am i" Unbelievable. This wasn't just ironic, it was cruel. you frown and resist the urge to roll your eyes at your own rotten luck.

"i'm too tired for this" half-truth. you were tired, you'd been up all night driving and managed to power through the day without truly resting. however you definitely were not going to be able to get to sleep once you did settle down, instead you'd be replaying every interaction from today in your head.

you did just that after changing into your pajamas and brushing your teeth; groaning softly into your pillow once you finally crashed onto your bed. Padme and Jasmine had their headphones on so you were thankfully in the clear.

the feeling of your phone vibrating next to your head was what pulled you from the self-inflicted torture of your spiraling mind. it took you a few minutes to motivate yourself to even lift your head, which felt ten times heavier than usual. probably due to exhaustion.

'don't tell me you died 😱' you can't help the grin that grows on your lips as you read Honey's message, and then you notice the notification wall of 15 other messages from her. oops. you turn onto your back and open your phone to respond.

'die and leave you alone in life? i would never' you type out quickly before reading through her other messages. 'just landed' followed by 'my parents decided to throw me a surprise party sos' and then a string of updates while the party happened.

most people would think Honey is a pretty social person based on how she is when she's with you, most people would be wrong. Honey has the social battery of a grape. she also requires at least a full day by herself in her room with hot chocolate and a book to recharge properly.

'my love has returned from war 🥹' you giggle not realizing how much you missed her until now and that's when you begin to feel homesick. Honey was your home as corny as that sounded. sisters in another life Platonic soulmates in this one; at least that's what you both always said.

'i've got so much to tell you abouutt' where to even start- i'd be easier to just send a voice message but you didn't feel comfortable enough to venture anywhere on your own yet and find somewhere to update her.

'i'm sat' from the beginning it is then.

you spent the next fifteen minutes just debriefing with her and when you finished she found the Instagram accounts of every person you mentioned.

'oh wow he is cute, no wonder you like him' she says after sending a post from Anakin's account. Ben was in the photo and it looked like it was Anakin's 19th birthday judging by the candles on the cake he was holding.

'i don't like him…' you defend but then remember who you're talking to and add 'yet- besides he likes someone else!!'

'someone who doesn't like him back' she sends back just as quickly and you stick your tongue out at her through the screen even though she can't see it.

'she never specified that, and either way i can't change the fact he likes her' you argue and Honey thankfully lets up.

''would it be weird if i followed Ben's account?' beautiful subject change Honey, you couldn't have done it better yourself.

'Ben really 😏?' you smile as you hit send liking being on the opposite end of the teasing.

'you're right too weird 😔' she replies and you two go back and forth for a while before finally calling it a night.

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the sunlight peeking through from the lack of blinds is what woke you up, but rather than opening up your eyes to start the day you just groaned and turned towards the wall; burrowing your face into your pillow hoping for even just a few more seconds of sleep.

there's a muffled giggle from behind you that reminds you there are two other people in the room with you. poking your head up and turning towards the sound you see Padme staring at you with an amused smile while she brushes her hair back into a ponytail. she gets it on the first try too, unfair. you have to rage quit at least three times before your ponytail is even remotely smooth enough to gaslight yourself into thinking it looks good.

"good news you don't have to be up for another hour" she says while looking at the built-in wall mirror, checking to make sure her hair looks good you guessed.

"well i'm up now" you rasp out and she laughs while you clear your throat, stretching out fully before sitting up and rubbing the crud out of your eyes.

"you're not a morning person are you?" she seems very entertained by the beast you wake up as. Honey once compared you to a bear coming out of hibernation when you woke up the first time you guys had a sleepover, you couldn't deny the accuracy.

"not really…" you trail off while fighting back a yawn. there's a small silence while Padme squirts sunscreen into her hands and begins to apply it on her face and arms. you take the moment to look around the room, Jasmine's bed is empty. evidently, you were the only non morning person here.

"do you want me to walk you to the crafts center?" you hum in thought at Padme's question while you clumsily stumble out of your bed.

"don't we have breakfast first?" you question while pulling out your clothes for the day, including your own Camp Wookiee Shirt.

"yea but it's probably a smart idea to figure out where you'll be heading to afterward" she answers, turning around to give you privacy while you change.

"won't i be able to walk with Rex or Anakin?" you ask, and she shrugs as you zip up your shorts and give her the okay to turn back around.

"Rex probably, Anakin no." you raise a brow and she hands you her sunscreen, before you can refuse her she gives you a look you’d only seen your mom give you when you weren’t listening. you don't bother arguing as she was not going to take no for an answer. "Anakin isn't a morning person either- he never shows up to breakfast. which is probably why he always steals Ben's lunch."

"and Ben lets him?" you snort and Padme nods.

"they grew up together, really close families. he sorta takes care of Anakin like an older brother i suppose." you smile at the thought of a young Ben taking care of an even younger Anakin.

"where's Jasmine gone? i haven't gotten the chance to speak to her at all." Padme doesn't bother to hide her sour expression, guess she trusts you enough now to let her true feelings show or she always did but didn’t want to do anything while Jasmine was in the room.

"Jasmine doesn't talk to anyone, she keeps to herself." you frown, Padme doesn't seem like the type of person to hate someone just because they're a loner- and if she was you didn't wanna be friends with someone like that.

"so what's exactly going on between you two anyway?" you needed to know if this friendship was going to continue.

"it's a long story, but let's just say Jasmine isn't a good person.. like at all and she's a liar who got caught pretty much instantly. and when she got confronted rather than owning up to her actions she got defensive." well now you were even more interested but she wasn't in the mood to get into details. you'd have to ask the boys about it at breakfast if you remembered, provided they didn't sit at the same table as Padme's friends.

"honestly i was shocked to find out she came back this year, i figured they hired you because she left" interesting, whatever she did must have happened just last summer then.

"does no one like her?" you don't mean to keep berating her with questions but couldn't resist the nagging curiosity.

"trust me when i say it'd be more surprising if anyone did like her" what the hell did this girl do to become the social piranha of an entire camp?

you push down the rest of your questions for now, letting there be a peaceful silence as you both exit the cabin.

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you both go on a stroll together before heading to breakfast. Padme took the time to show you around more of the Camp pointing out what each building was and where each path leads, it was still a little confusing but you at the very least wouldn't get lost if you ended up by yourself at some point.

Ben and Rex were sat at the table they initially sat at yesterday. they gave you a wave when you made eye contact and you smiled in return.

"i'm gonna sit with just the boys is that okay?" you ask while turning to Padme who's digging through the bin of fruit snacks looking for the purple pack instead of the blue. you don't blame her everyone knows the purple pack is superior.

"you don't have to run your decisions by me y/n" she teases and you nudge her with your elbow in response. "besides we sleep in the same cabin, you can't get rid of me that easily" she jokes.

"you're right, guess i'm stuck with you for the entirety of camp against my will" this time Padme nudges you causing you both to burst out laughing.

"i'll see you later y/n" she says and gives you a little wave as you split off in separate directions.

"well good morning, i'm surprised you're not tired of us yet" Rex says in greeting as you plop down next to Ben.

"mmm i'd say i'm bordering on just tolerating you guys at most" the banter was instinctive at this point.

"ah i see we're one in the same then" Ben chuckles then takes a big bite of hash. his plate was loaded compared to yours and Rex's, that's a lot considering how much you love to eat. it does however make more sense on why he doesn't seem to care about Anakin stealing his lunch.

"i know we have the rest of the week to ourselves before campers get here, so what exactly are we going to be doing at our jobs if there's no one to perform them for?" you wonder out loud for either of them to answer.

"nothing really, it's just the camp's way of allowing us to hang out and still get paid for it." you give Rex a 'are you serious?' look and he smiles "what? our Camp directors actually like us believe it or not. i'm sure if there were more newbies like you it would be us learning the jobs. but since it's almost always the same people every year this is what it's turned into."

"so this is like a retreat for you guys?" Rex finishes his last bite of food before responding.

"as much of a retreat as you can get with 100 gremlins running around" you nearly choke to death on your food. Ben rubs your back in support as you catch your breath while laughing. note to your future self don't eat around Rex, it's a dangerous game to play.

"drink some water y/n" Ben says in between laughs, him and Rex are both loud enough to garner the attention of the whole lunch room. you're not exactly a shy person but you can't help the heat in your cheeks or the way you slink down hiding your face behind the water bottle you drink out of with just about everyone's eyes on you as they try to decipher what happened.

thankfully it doesn't take long for them to lose interest and carry on in their individual conversations but you still fight the urge to kick both boys for embarrassing you like that.

"i hate both of you" they just smile with matching cheesy grins and you roll your eyes.

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the walk to the crafts center with Rex is just as good bad as you both kept fooling around to see who could make the other laugh harder. it doesn't die down even when you both see Anakin waiting out front of the lodge for you two with his arms crossed and an annoyed face.

Qui-Gon gave Rex the keys to open it because he was the more responsible one, but you had a feeling he'd have given it to you if he knew you a little better.

"what're you two on about?" Anakin grumbles as you both come to a stop in front of him, wiping tears from your eyes and stifling your laughter which only seemed to worsen his mood. he really wasn't a morning person wow.

"Rex just said something funny" you shrug; truth be told nothing you two had said within the last ten minutes made any sense but for some reason that made it all the more hilarious.

Anakin's brows creased and you bite your bottom lip when the urge to reach over and smooth it out with your thumb manifests out of nowhere. it was almost laughable. you let your fingers twitch at your sides instead.

Rex gets the door open with a creak which effectively pulls your attention away from the disgruntled boy in front of you.

the inside was plain, there were multiple picnic benches and some empty corkboards on the walls. you took note of the supply closet in the back and the cleaning supplies that rested beside the door.

"alright Jinn messaged me this morning and said that our only real job for this week is to clean and decorate this place for the campers." you give him a simple nod and walk toward the back of the room.

"does he prefer to be called Jinn or is that only allowed for people he's close with?" Rex takes a minute to consider your question like he'd never really thought about it before. you hand him the broom while you wait.

"i think he prefers Jinn but lets us decide what we're more comfortable with calling him" Anakin answers with a annoyed tone of voice after deciding Rex was taking to long.

"i'm gonna take the mop bucket out back to fill it with water from the hose" he says while turning his baseball cap around. you suddenly feel very warm, and it's not from the heat outside. you swallow before nodding and grabbing the container of Clorox wipes to clean off the dust from the tables.

as soon as Anakin exits the lodge Rex speaks up. "well he's in a pissy mood" you look at him incredulously.

"Padme told me he wasn't a morning person?" your voice is laced with uncertainty now unsure whether to believe that bit of info she'd given you.

"oh he's not, but it's also not usually this bad. then again i shouldn't be too shocked he's more emotional than a hormonal teenage girl" you deadpan at him and he immediately backtracks "not that i'm saying all teenage girls are emotional it's just-" he stops when he sees your lips twitch. "you're pulling my leg aren't you."

you break character instantly and burst out laughing "you should have seen the panic on your face oh my gosh" it's a laugh straight from your core one that makes Rex look like he may just smack you with the broom he's holding.

"okay seriously what am i missing? Rex is not that funny" Anakin huffs when he enters the lodge again, sounding like a pouty little kid who's not getting what they want.

"hey man she made herself laugh, i'm just an innocent victim" Rex defends while sweeping everything that was on the floor into a small pile.

"i was just messing with him" you smile; looking down as you continue the task you started.

"that i can get down with" he says with a smile letting the tension drop from his shoulders as he places the bucket down and goes to grab the mop.

you bite your tongue at the need to question what's going on with him and just finish wiping down each bench. you didn’t feel like you had the right anyway.

the three of you work together to finish cleaning the lodge. the clock on the wall showed it was now 11:00 am and lunch was at 12:00 pm so you had an hour to start working on decorations.

you all plop onto a shared bench and get to work. Anakin made a few star banners while you cut out and tapped a bunch of letters to the wall just below where the cork boards hung, they spelled out 'creativity' and 'imagination'. Rex was apparently the least creative out of the three of you so he was just busied himself with laying out all the crafts supplies so only the extra stuff was in the closet.

"if we finish all of this today, what do we do for the rest of the week?" you ask from the top of the stool you stood on. Anakin was behind you in case you fell while you hung up his banners.

he had offered to be the one to do the hanging but you insisted on being useful to which he replied 'oh yeah because you haven't been already' with the sassiest tone you'd ever heard from a man. to be fair Anakin was proving to be the leader of the sassy man apocalypse so you shouldn't have been shocked.

"we are gonna finish today, and that just means we get to chill for the rest of the week and test out projects for the kids to do" he answers and you see his hands flinch forward when the stool wobbles from you moving onto your tiptoes to get the height right for the banner. it shouldn't make your heart flutter the way it does after all he was quite literally just making sure you didn't bust your ass.

"wow Rex wasn't joking earlier then" you look down at him and there's that furrow in his brows again, it's gone when you blink making you think it was just your mind playing tricks on you.

"wait you didn't believe me?" the question comes from the opposite side of you as Rex seems to spawn out of nowhere. last you checked he was on the complete opposite side of the room organizing the construction paper by color and shade, who'd of guessed he was so particular about stuff like that.

"i was a little busy choking on my food to really process what you said" you rolled your eyes and he snorts nudging your leg with his shoulder which in turn makes the stool wobble and Anakin glare at him.

you ignore the way Rex and him have a wordless conversation and finish taping the last part of the banner.

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the rest of the day went by fast, which wasn't the least bit astonishing. what was however; to both you, Padme and just about every other staff member it seemed was seeing Anakin at Breakfast the next day.

he wasn't eating. he barely even looked conscious, but there he was directly across from Ben and Rex. he was half asleep fully leaning into the palm of his hand, the two boys watching him looked dumbfounded.

"am i hallucinating?" Padme pinches you and you yelp.

"doesn't seem like it" she says while you glare.

"i said hallucinating not dreaming" she throws a small pack of graham crackers at you and you both giggle.

"well if you're hallucinating so am i, and probably everyone else in here" she clapsback and gives you a weird smile that makes you wanna hide, it was like she saw right through you. you didn't think anyone other than Honey and your mom could do that.

"i'll see you later" there's a sparkle in her voice that you choose to ignore, waving goodbye and heading to the table the boys were sat at.

"are you even alive right now?" Anakin blinks awake at your question, rather than responding he scoots closer to you invading your personal space like he'd been doing since you first met the other day.

this boy clearly has something against there being any type of distance between two people when he sits next to them.

"i'd argue he thinks he's dreaming" Ben teases then snickers when he receives a kick under the table. you do your best to hide your confusion and focus on the food in front of you.

"how can you even eat right now?" Anakin mumbles from beside you.

"uhhh because it's 7 in the morning and i'm starving??" he makes a disgusted face that baffles you.

"the idea of eating this early is nauseating" he says through a yawn.

"that's because you're never awake this early" Rex snides. Anakin doesn't defend himself just grumbles incoherently, you think he might of mocked him but it was really hard to tell.

"you're disrupting the natural way of the world Anakin, next we'll find out there was a hurricane in Antarctica" you're about to comment on how that's not scientifically possible but then realize that's exactly why Ben said it.

"haha you're so very funny Kenobi" as much as Anakin was grumpy it was not nearly as bad as the grumpiness he greeted you and Rex with yesterday. not that you didn't believe Rex when he said he wasn't usually that bad but now that you were experiencing it yourself you understood a lot more.

"ooo Kenobi, we're using last names now. you must be pretty upset Skywalker' Ben teases, completely unafraid of the consequences he might have from teasing a sleep-ridden bear.

ah, you're seeing the whole hibernating bear thing now. poor Honey; if you'd known this is what she was dealing with in the morning you'd have started locking yourself in your room till you felt like a decent human being to confront the world.

after the bickering dies down there's a comfortable silence as everyone just enjoys their food, well besides Anakin who's more or less in his own world. it was nice and you let yours eyes travel around the room before landing on your cabin mate who's still not even given you so much as a greeting not to mention was sitting completely and utterly alone. there wasn’t even anyone sitting at the tables near by her.

"what's up with Jasmine?" the question startles the group. probably because to them it was out of nowhere, for you however it's been a burning topic just waiting to be discussed. "i've just noticed she doesn't talk much, and Padme said she lied or whatever but didn't tell me any actual details….i figured you guys might know" you cringe inwardly at yourself when they still don't say anything.

you shouldn't have asked, there was probably a good reason why Padme didn't want to get into details about what happened and now you've just ruined everyone's morning.

your internal monologue of despair was cut short by Rex. "she did some fucked up shit. mostly she spread a bunch of rumors around about people, and she lied about pretty much everything. it's honestly shocking the Directors didn't catch wind of anything." Well that's not good but it can't be that bad?

it very much was that bad. the biggest thing she did was out one of the older campers who felt so uncomfortable they left camp early. that was the turning point when everyone decided to confront her and she got defensive starting her lone wolf act.

Jada was the little girl's name and everyone loved her; she was apparently really sweet with short blonde hair paired with rosy cheeks and a subtle southern accent if you listened close enough.

her parents were super conservative so it's no wonder she'd feel uncomfortable with something like that floating around the camp. especially considering Parent week had been coming up at the time.

she also lied and spread rumors about several of the other girls at camp that were pretty damaging. one of the lesser rumors was about a girl she said was a slut who slept around with all of the guys on camp.

needless to say you understood everyone's opinions on her now, talk about violating on so many levels. how on earth was she still allowed to work here? everyone loved the camp directors and they didn't seem like people who would let something like that slide.

"Padme told me she was shocked that Jasmine even came back this year" you were shocked too now that you knew the extent of what had been done. "but how has no one complained about her directly to the directors?"

"we all sorta came to a unanimous decision to just pretend she doesn't exist." Ben answered while pushing his food around on his plate.

that didn't sit right with you, this is one of those times you speak up not stay silent. "why though?"

"well even though Jinn, Windu and Bail would believe us we'd still have to supply them with evidence for the big guys upstairs….which in turn would mean they'd have to contact everyone involved" he added that last part when he noticed it wasn't clicking in your head. it took a few moments before you let out a quiet oh.

Jada would have to be contacted. which would mean her parents would have to be contacted and since she's a minor they'd have to be told everything. so everyone was staying silent to protect her.

you felt a wave of newfound respect for every single person who worked here as well as a burning hatred for Jasmine. fuck her honestly. there was a long awkward lull in the conversation before it started back up again.

Rex was the one who managed to switch subjects. you ended up on the topic of how Ben and Padme were doing with the zip line course. to no one's surprise Padme was a natural at it, Ben said she got the hang of it after Windu explained it once whereas he had needed a few extra pointers. they also had to do a safety briefing then take a test to make sure they knew everything they would have to for the campers to be allowed on it.

talk about getting off easy on your end, a brief cleaning session followed by decorating a room hardly classified as work compared to what they had to do. not like you'd complain, this just meant you'd be spending the summer doing art. well that and looking after kids, you had a pretty natural affinity with children though so it wasn't a real worry on your end.

Your mom always said it was because you were as childish as them, you preferred carefree and whimsical but a win was a win.

╚═*.·:·.✧ ✦✧.·:·.*═╝

"that looks like shit" Rex is leaning over the table watching Anakin as he weaves bracelet strings together.

"you look like shit but i don't say anything" he quips, very obviously annoyed.

"did you even follow the directions?" Anakin ignores Rex at first but when he builds on the initial question with "because it doesn't look like you did" he gives him a deadly glare.

"i glanced at them and i got the basic idea" Rex looks ready to disagree with him and Anakin looks ready to shove every bead in the bowl next to him down his throat.

you don't say anything, holding your breath so you don't burst out laughing and end up the next target. although it's not like they could say anything about your bracelet as it actually looked like the picture, besides a few color changes.

"well look at yours! what even is that?" Anakin gestures to the bracelet if you could even call it that in Rex's hand, it looked like he hadn't even started.

"it's shit as well but at least i can admit that" He says pointedly and Anakin throws his half-finished attempt of a bracelet at him in response.

you can't hold it in any longer practically bursting into tears from how hard you laugh. both boy's heads snap toward you, Anakin wears a frown and Rex just looks stunned as if he'd forgotten you were there entirely.

"you two are utterly ridiculous" you wheeze and fight back snorting like a pig each time you gasp for air.

it's been like this all week as you guys experimented with different projects to do with the kids, getting to know each other way more in the process. the guys were pretty transparent from the beginning so it wasn't much of a shock when you discovered Anakin was in fact consistently childish and a bit moody but despite that he was extremely loyal and very kind.

he hides most of his real feelings with humor, your guess was he gets awkward when things get too serious so he keeps the mood light. and if that talk a few days ago at breakfast has anything to say it was safe to conclude he also resigns himself from conversations entirely when he's unsure what direction it will go.

Rex was generally a calm person, he could be serious when he needed to but prefers to joke around. which would explain why he always messes with Anakin so much. he's also extremely loyal and although he doesn't verbally express his emotions as much as Anakin does, he wears them all on his face.

Ben was the peacemaker but could be a shit stirrer too. As far as he was concerned Anakin was his brother and he had no problems arguing with anyone who said otherwise. overall the boys were all pretty similar but had their differences, it was nice to be a part of their group.

out of everyone you'd gotten the closest to Padme, sharing a room probably helped with that. but so did the fact you both shared similar interests, and even on the things you disagreed with you both still let the other gush as much as they wanted.

it was a nice little home away from home. you've kept Honey updated about everything any chance you got, but there was only so much you both could share from a distance and you couldn’t help but miss her badly. at the very least you could count on the fact camp would go by fast thanks to how fun it's been so far which meant you'd see Honey just as quickly.

that same thought made you feel a little glum but you never dwelled on it for too long, it was just the beginning after all and Campers would be arriving tomorrow morning.

Camp Wookiee T-shirt visual aid:

tag list: @anakinskwkler @anakinstwinklebunny @divineani

a/n: ITS HERE 🎉🎉🎉 everyone say thank you @munsondjarin who inspired me to write this fic 🤭

i can’t believe how much i actually wrote for just this one part, but it also makes sense considering im essentially just writing out the whole story and splitting it up by beginning, middle and end compared to a bunch of small individual chapters ✨

anyway i hope you all enjoy see you next week for Part 2 💋💋

have a good day Huns Xx <3

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pitchsidestories · 6 months ago

Text

searching for hope II Lucy Bronze x Reader

masterlist I word count: 3426

a/n: hi, it's inspired by this request here, we hope you like it despite the heavy topic.

warnings: career ending injury, sadness, but with a fluffy ending

Suddenly, the whole Estadi Johan Cruyff fell silent when they heard your scream echoing against the walls of the Barca femeni’s home. Everyone who saw you sink to the ground after a bad tackle from your opponent turned pale.

Yes, the tackle from the other player was bad, but what was more unnerving in their eyes was the way you hold on to your knee. This was always a bad sign and something people who followed women’s football grew all too familiar with over the past years. It sends a shiver down the spine of the home fans and your beloved teammates.

It has been an ordinary league game so far, it wasn’t an important one, your team was already leading with three goals and yet you found yourself laying on the pitch. The pain your body was in felt almost unbearable.

“Hey! Don’t move!”, Lucy yelled, looking deeply worried at you while she knelt beside you, taking a hand of yours in hers. Your girlfriend normally tried to keep your relationship as private as possible, but her concern for you threw the normal behaviour out of the window.

“Lucy?”, you mumbled, the tears streaming down your face made your vision turn blurry, but you would always recognize your lover’s voice.

“They’re getting the stretcher.”, Lucy informed you calmy, from the outside the English woman might still look like her professional, tough self, but inside she was falling apart. Seeing you in this state of agony broke her heart.

“Lucy, you need to let her go, the medics are taking care of her now.”, Alexia smiled empathetically at the older player.

“I’ll come and check on you later, okay?”, your girlfriend whispered into your ear before releasing her protective grip from you with a heavy heart.

Instead of speaking you just nodded, signalizing that you heard her, as the medical staff was taking you off the pitch. Even though you closed your eyes you could feel Lucys gaze lingering on you until you were inside the ambulance. The sound of clapping hands from your team and the fans warmed your heart.

“That was bad. She was white as a ghost.”, the defender whispered, the shock of your terrible injury was written all over her.

“Don’t think about it right now, focus on the game, Lucy.”, Keira responded.

“I’m focused.”, Lucy shrugged it off.

Looking at the time, she added:” It’s only ten more minutes anyway.”

Turned out, these were the longest ten minutes in her whole career.

She never felt more relieved when the referee blew the final whistle. As fast as the English woman could she packed her things to travel to your hospital bed.

“Hey, how are you?”, Lucy asked you still out of breath.

“It hurts so much, Lucy.”, you replied in an honest tone, you hated how you sounded, so weak, normally you were known to be a woman who could handle her pain.

“I know. But it will get better.“, Lucy promised as she sat down on the side of your bed.

Tears welled up in your eyes as you shook your head: “No, they said it might end my career…“

Lucy shook her head determinedly: “They can’t know that yet! We don’t even know what it is!“

“It’s my knee.“, you said, your voice choked with tears. You took a deep breath to gather yourself before you added: “Isn’t it weird? We already worried about your knee and here we are…“

If you were not as overwhelmed with the situation, you might have laughed about the irony. You girlfriends knee had been troubling her for some time now so you had prepared for the event that she would have to retire.

What you had failed to include in your plans was the fact that injuries could happen at any time and football careers could be cut short by them.

“We’re not at the point for this conversation yet.“, Lucy replied with stubborn hopefulness.

You sighed: “I know… but I have a bad feeling…“

Lucy took your hand in hers, squeezing encouragingly: “That doesn’t have to mean anything.“

It took days of different tests and scans until you finally had your diagnosis. You had been able to tell what would follow from the look on the doctors face before he even said a word.

It got too real too fast. You were suddenly faced with the fact that your life would never be the same again, the dream that you had spend years working so hard for turned to ash right in front of you on a random Tuesday afternoon.

“Luce, could you please leave me alone for a moment?“, you begged. There were no tears yet, just emptiness.

Your girlfriend rubbed circles on your healthy knee with her thumb: “Y/n, please…“

“We just got told that I can never play again. Go!“, you shouted at her.

Lucy only frowned at you: “We can find another doctor. There’s always a way.“

“Not right now. Leave!“, you instructed her once more, this time as collected as you were capable of.

Reluctantly she got up and left the room without another word.

Only then your tears began to fall and realization set in.

Outside of your hospital room, your teammates were impatiently waiting for any news.

“What did the doctor say, Lucy?“, Mapi asked as soon as English defender stepped out. The heads of the other players snapped up immediately.

Lucy looked at Fridolina, Aitana, Ingrid and Alexia and shook her head. “He pretty much told her that her career is over. She didn’t even have the surgery yet!“

Ingrid blinked down at the bouquet of lilies in her hands, her lip trembling: “And all we got her are her favourite flowers…“

“She’ll still appreciate them.”, your girlfriend reassured her with a sad smile on her lips.

“Yes, but we didn’t thought this could be a career ending injury-“, the team captain explained, but even she was at a loss for words, nothing what the midfielder could say felt appropriate, you weren’t that old yet, and the thought of you never playing for Barca Femeni again was terrible to her.

Alexia could feel a lump in her throat as she was thinking about you, normally you’d have so many years left in the beautiful game.

“Her scream will haunt me in my dreams, it was awful.”, Fridolina confessed, biting her lip.

“This will be a hard time for her.”, Aitana whispered, visibly moved by the news about your injury as the Swede hugged her.

“As well as for Lucia.”, Mapi predicted.

“I’m fine.”, Lucy tried to comfort her teammates with her reply.

“No, we’re here for you both.”, Alexia clarified.

Your teammates stayed true to their words, whenever one of you had a bad day, they made sure that someone was there for you or Lucy.

A day before the surgery your girlfriend made sure she was at home. The defender and you were laying on the sofa, her strong arms were wrapped around you, making you feel very safe and comforted despite the rising nervousness.

“Are you ready for it, love?”, Lucy asked you attentively.

“I am ready.”, you nodded, while she was running a hand through your open hair which you knew she loved a lot.

“Maybe things will change once it’s healed.”, the older woman thought out loud, her voice full of optimism.

“Yes, maybe. But you know what we need right now?”, you changed the subject to something more light-hearted.

Smiling your girlfriend watched you while you were making two cappuccinos for both of you, with a sprinkle of hot chocolate powder on top of it. The delicious scent filled your whole living room, mirroring the peaceful atmosphere of this afternoon.

“Did you perfect your latte art while I was in training.”, Lucy rose an eyebrow in amusement.

“Possible. Narla loved it because she got a lot of milk foam in the process.”, you winked at her laughing, as the dark-haired player took a few sips from the hot drink, closing her eyes with relish.

“At least it had something positive for one of us.”, the defender smirked, meanwhile the West Highland Terrier has been taking your place, so she received her daily dose of cuddles. You could never get tired of the sight of these two, which had a huge place in your heart.

“And you got a delicious cup of coffee at the end too.”, you reminded her. More serious you added:” Missed me at training?”

“Yeah. Everyone’s asking how you are.”, Lucy cleared her throat.

“I miss them too.“, you admitted. “They’re more than teammates, you know?“

Your girlfriend nodded slowly, in quiet understanding: “I know.“

“Of course you do. Sorry.“ Your gaze shifted towards the contents of your cup.

Lucys hand appeared on your healthy knee, rubbing light circles with her thumb. “No, I appreciate them for their support.“

You looked back and managed a slight smile: “Me too, them and you.“

The defender shrugged casually: “That’s the least thing I can do for you.“

Before you could assure her that she already did more than necessary, Narla jumped on your lap and started to lick your face.

Giggling, you pulled back: “Oh, apologies, Narla. You’re doing a great job too.“

You rewarded the little dog with some pets while Lucy laughed: “Don’t forget your biggest supporter.“

“Never,“

“I’m sure she will take good care of you after the surgery.“, Lucy joked.

You pushed any thought about the surgery away. For now, you just wanted to enjoy the calm afternoon with your two favourites.

You did not remember much about your surgery day until you woke up from anaesthesia. You were confused and tired and you heard people talking all around you. It took you a while to recognize the familiar voices.

“Luce, it’s going to be alright.“ That was Mariona.

“I can only hope so.“, you heard your girlfriend say, her voice was full of worry.

“She’s a fighter.“, Mapis voice promised in the darkness.

“She is.“

“See?“

You finally found the energy to open your eyes. Your teammates all stared back at you. Slowly blinking, you had to clear your throat. It felt disgustingly dry.

“Girls? Hi…“, you managed to say hoarsely.

Mapi smiled: “Hi.“

“Love, you’ve done it.“ Lucy carefully took your hand in hers, studying your face closely.

You frowned: “I didn’t do anything.“

“Yes, you did.“, Lucy remained stubborn.

“The doctors were working.“

You were too tired for an argument so you were grateful when Ingrid changed the subject: “How do you feel? Are you thirsty? We got water and some snacks for you.“

“I’m okay. Water sounds great right now…“, you replied truthfully and were immediately handed a glass of water by the Norwegian.

“Here you go.“

You took a sip. Your throat already felt so much better. “Thanks, Ingrid.“

“You’re welcome.“

“They didn’t say anything, right? If the surgery went well and stuff?“, Lucy interrupted. You just blinked at your girlfriend in confusion. Hadn't she just been watching you wake up?

“I’ve not spoken to them yet…“, you replied.

“That’s okay. I can do that for you. You need to rest now.“

It was only when your teammates had left and you had time to recover why Lucy was so nervous about the outcome of the surgery.

But both of your hopes were crushed several hours later in the same hospital room by a stern looking doctor. He confirmed that the recovery process would be hard and your injury would very likely end your professional career.

“Love?”, Lucy started gently.

“Yes?”, you looked up, still too shocked by the recent confirmation.

“Maybe we should let a second doctor check your knee.”, she suggested cautiously.

“Okay.”, you agreed, too exhausted to say anything more than that, while the defender kissed your hand lightly.

“Maybe there’s still a chance.”, your girlfriend more optimistically than she actually felt. But Lucy wanted to be strong for you even though the news saddened her almost as much as you.

It was after the third time you tried another doctor who was only repeating the diagnosis you heart right from the start that you exploded in front of her:” I had enough, Lucy. No more doctor visits because of it, I can’t do this anymore.”

You could see the shock on the English woman’s face. It was so unlike you to go after her like this.

“Maybe there is one out there that can fix your knee.”, your girlfriend mumbled, still too stunned about the way you reacted.

“Are you even listening to me?”, you yelled frustrated at her unshaken optimism despite the bad news.

“I am. But I’m not ready for you to end your career yet.”, Lucy declared stubbornly.

Her belief was something which ignited a little spark of hope inside you. Otherwise, you wouldn’t have said what you did next:” The recovery just begun, so maybe we should take it one step at a time.”

“Okay, fine.”, the defender agreed.

But rehab turned out to be physically and mentally tough for you and the people who loved you. On an especially hard day in the gym, you begged Mapi who was there as well to not call Lucy to pick you up. Simply because your girlfriend was already doing so much for you in everyday life.

“Why not? She can just pick you up.”, the Spaniard shrugged.

“No, she can’t see me like this.”, you frantically shook your head.

The face of your teammate softened. She paused for a moment before asking you.

“Do you really think she cares?”

“All she cares about is my comeback, Mapi. What if the doctors are right, do you think Luce would break up?”, it suddenly broke out of you, the fears which had a hold on you since the recovery started, were put into words for the first time. Before they only lived in your head.

“No. There’s no way.”, Mapi promptly answered without a second thought.

“Like whom am I when this ends?”, you continued, a sad smile appeared on your lips.

The defender stroke your back empathetically: “You’re still you. You’re more than a football player. Always remember that.”

The darkness you had felt earlier was feeling a little lighter through the kind words of your friend. It was like there was a light at the end of the tunnel, you could almost reach it with your hand.

You gently placed your hand on Mapis thigh and forced yourself to look at her: “We need to meet up for a coffee soon. I need to see something else than the gym…“

“Tell me when and where.“, your teammate replied, giving you an encouraging smile.

“I’ll.“, you said with genuine anticipation.

Excitedly, Mapi suggested: “I can bring Ingrid.“

“Sounds great.“

“We’re happy to distract you.“

You just smiled at the defender. Even though this phase of your life was not the easiest, the love and compassion you got from your teammates made it bearable.

When you got home, Lucy was already waiting for you impatiently. The expression on her face already told you everything, you needed to know. You suppressed a sigh.

“Mapi told me what you said to her earlier…“, Lucy began.

“Did she?“ It was more a statement than a question.

“Yes.“

“We were just talking.“, you tried your best to calm Lucys worries.

“You should have asked me to pick you up.“, Lucy insisted, anger mixing into her voice.

You had no energy to fight now. “It was fine. You already do so much, I don’t want to be a burden to you.“

Your girlfriend rolled her eyes: “Oh, please.“

“What?“

“Stop being like that. You know I want to help you.“

“I just told you that you’re already helping!“ You sighed with annoyance.

Lucys voice went quieter as she said: “Not in the important moments…“

“Luce…“ You bridged the gap between the two of you, unsure of what to do next.

“Just call me next time.“

“I’ll.“, you promised.

“Thanks.“

Carefully, you wrapped your arms around Lucy. She leaned into the hug, the crease between her eyebrows softening. You locked eyes with her: “I love you.“

Lucys lips moved in an attempt to reply but she was interrupted by a high-pitched whimper.

You both looked down to see Narla sitting at your feet.

“And you too of course, Narla.“, you laughed.

Lucys features finally relaxed: “Let me make you some dinner. Maybe that can save your day.“

“Yours definitely does.“, you grinned, only then realizing how hungry you were.

With a wink, your girlfriend pulled out of the hug: “I’ll make your fav.“

“Thank you.“ You kissed her cheek, full of gratefulness.

As promised, you met Mapi and Ingrid at a small café the next morning. You were chatting about your recovery and the latest team news. Ingrid was in the middle of explaining how Martas shoes had disappeared from the changing room when Mapi took a sip of coffee and started coughing.

Ingrid looked at her girlfriend in concern, stopping herself mid-setence.

“Oh my god. That coffee is awful, y/n. The one you make is so much better.“, Mapi grimaced.

“Mapi, be quiet!“, Ingrid told her girlfriend quickly. She looked around the café sheepishly in hopes that no one had heard her girlfriend slandering their coffee.

Mapi shrugged: “But it’s true.“

“Uhm thanks, I guess?”, you replied smiling amused at the Spaniards dramatics.

“She’s not wrong to be honest.”, the Norwegian admitted blushing.

“Actually, I’ve always dreamed about opening my own café, someday where Lucy could have her bar alongside.”, you confessed, your eyes looked dreamily at no one in particular.

Behind them you were daydreaming about it, you could see the welcoming, modern space, the coffee machine which everyone would spot at first sight when they entered the café, with cute different coffee cups, waiting to be filled. In the day it would serve all kinds of hot and iced drinks while in the evening your girlfriend would serve drinks.

“Oh my god, you should!”, Mapi clapped her hands excitedly. The defender was your ultimate hype woman since the injury.

“Yes, we’d never go anywhere else.”, Ingrid added grinning.

“Please! Everyone can be a coach or a pundit after retirement.”, her girlfriend basically begged you.

“I’ll think about it, okay?”, you asked them.

“Okay.”, the older woman nodded.

Step by step your daydream turned into reality over the upcoming months. As your body recovered from the big injury, the café came slowly together too. While your physical and mental wounds started to heal you felt more comfortable each day in your new role as former football player and current small business owner.

Obviously, it still hurt a little when you saw your girlfriend and teammates play, but on your private opening celebration with them you felt an inner calmness about it. You were ready for your next chapter which was still unwritten.

“Are you ready for your first customers?”, Lucy’s question took you back to the present.

“I’m ready.”, you answered, a nervous smile flitted across your face.

She pressed an encouraging kiss on your cheek, before remarking:” There they are.”

“Hi, come on in, girls.”, you waved at the entering guests cheerfully.

“Hi, this turned out so cute girls.”, Mapi noted with approval while taking everything in.

“Yes, this is so you, I love it.”, Ingrid marvelled at her surroundings.

“Thank you, I assume that you guys want two flat whites?”, hearing them praise your new project made your face lit up.

“Don’t you worry, later we’ll have some drinks to celebrate the opening properly.”, Lucy told her teammates with a cocky smile on her lips.

“We’ll stay for both. Coffee and drinks.”, the Spaniard responded happily.

“Perfect.”, you were just starting to make their coffees as slowly but surely the rest of your team was getting inside the café.

They tried to show you that their support didn’t stop because your football career has been cut short, it was still there and today you could feel it especially.

Late at night, your girlfriend and you had done the cleaning of the mess the celebration had caused. In the background slow music was playing and Lucy danced with you in the dim lit room, whispering into your ear:” I love this little life we created together.”

So did you, you searched for hope after the injury and you found it in the encouraging smiles of your friends and right here in the arms of the defender who you loved a little bit more with every passing day.

#lucy bronze #lucy bronze x reader #lucy bronze imagine #woso x reader #woso #woso fanfics #woso imagine #woso community #woso one shot #woso oneshot #barca femeni #woso angst #alexia putellas #mapi leon #ingrid engen

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nelkcats · 2 years ago

Text

Dad War

Danny Fenton became a father and he's not panicking at all (this is a lie)

Danny should have known that asking for an uneventful week was an exaggeration. He tempted fate by saying that "nothing bad could happen now that ghosts and humans lived in peace with each other"

Of course, it was right after saying that sentence that his daughter cousin appeared in front of him with her arm melted. Having gotten used to that particular scenario he steered her into his ecto-dejecto reserves, both of them panicked when this didn't solve anything.

With no more options, Danny took her to Far Frozen, surely the Yeti would have a better idea of what was happening to the girl.

Frostbite examined Ellie just like the first time but instead of scowling like Danny had expected he looked extremely pleased, almost satisfied.

"The time has finally come" Frostbite told him happily "you must let it happen, Great One"

"Do I have to let Ellie melt down!?" Danny yelled in concern, he never thought the Yeti had a sadistic streak in him. Ellie looked just as shaken by the information.

"Not like you're thinking" The Yeti noticed his mistake and decided to explain himself "she's not melting, she's stabilizing"

"If I'm stabilizing, why is my arm goo?" Ellie groaned, the sensation of melting never failed to be strange.

"That explanation is much simpler" Frostbite smiled "how old are you, little Phantom?"

"Uh" Ellie tried to assign herself an age, she aged much slower than the other halfas "16?"

"You didn't understand the question, I didn't mean how you look" Frostbite denied affectionately "how old do you consider yourself?"

“…5” Ellie muttered in embarrassment, even if her age was a bit older than that number, she felt much younger, like a child. She didn't count her early years, between Vlad and traveling the world she hadn't begun to think about it.

Even with all the knowledge stored in her head, she wanted to experience a childhood like other children, to make friends. Something that her adolescent appearance did not allow. As much as Ellie loved talking to Val, she was one of her only friends and unlike her, Val had a whole life to live.

"There is your explanation" The yeti pointed out "ghosts take the appearance of how they see themselves, your core takes into account your wishes and therefore you are reforming into a child"

Danny remembered when he first shifted into his ghost form and Frostbite explanation made sense, but his head reminded him of a very important detail.

"Wouldn't that be troublesome? A lot of people in Amity know you as my cousin” Danny pointed out worriedly. The secret of the halfas was still closely guarded.

"Well, there is a way to leave her appearance the same as it currently is, but that's up to her" Frostbite looked at the girl waiting for an answer.

"No" Ellie denied "I want it to happen, I also...I also want to have a childhood, like the others"

Ellie had always felt bitter about being the only halfa exploring the concept of death more than life; unlike Vlad and Danny who had lived fairly normal lives before their respective accidents, she had been robbed of the possibility.

She wanted to live too.

"It's settled then," Frostbite nodded "Now, this is just getting started and someone has to look after your core while you reform. Do you have any candidates in mind?"

"Danny, can you?" Ellie asked, taking the sleeve of his suit, she wouldn't have considered asking anyone else. Even if she didn't admit it, Ellie always saw him as her father.

"You don't even have to ask, I'll be here when you get back" Danny ruffled her hair with a smile.

"Thank you, dad" Ellie closed her eyes as she let herself be carried away by the sensation of her core. It was a little strange that what she thought would kill her was fulfilling her dreams.

Before the halfa could reply to the comment, Ellie melted, and the ectoplasm was quickly absorbed into her core.

Danny looked at the green stone in his hands with concern.

"How long do you think it will take her?" he asked the Yeti.

"A couple of hours" Frostbite sat down next to him "it's hard being a new parent isn't it? I still remember when my children were born"

Danny avoided mentioning that he had no idea about his children. He wondered if he had them in life or death.

"I- Ellie is my cousin," Danny tried to tell him, but his argument sounded weak.

"She doesn't seem to see you as such" The Yeti shrugged as he handed the boy a cup of tea, but the halfa refused to take it as long as he held the stone in his hands.

Frostbite snorted while setting the mug aside, a new parent, in fact.

"Uh, looks like it's time for me to leave my parents house, don't you think?" Danny tried to joke, even Jazz had her own house in another place.

He had temporarily tried it when he was balancing his college life with his spooky duties, living with Sam and Tucker was fun but in the end he came home.

"It seems so" The Yeti shrugged "congratulations, it's a girl"

Danny laughed as he held the stone closer to his chest. He had really become a father, hadn't he?

His core purred at the thought, while an invisible thread connected the two half-ghosts.

Being a parent didn't sound bad. Maybe it wasn't even as hard as people made it out to be.

───────────────

Danny regrets that last thought, he regrets it so much.

He just had to think that, didn't he?

As usual, he called Jazz to inform her of the day's events as he held the stone to his chest (Frostbite had told him it was safe to do so).

Jazz didn't seem too surprised by the news, on the contrary, she started recommending him books on parenting, so many books.

Danny tried to tell her that Ellie probably wouldn't be a difficult child, he got a 30-minute lecture on how she'd probably regress to the mental age of 5 or 6, and therefore he had to be prepared for it.

Deciding to listen to his older sister, Danny googled for advice.

Checking on wikihow how to take care of a child didn't work, Danny could attest to that.

The halfa sighed as he looked at the "I'll bring you some books tomorrow" message that Jazz had send him. Did he really have to read?

It couldn't be that hard, right? His parents took care of Jazz and she ended well!

Danny was ignoring Sam's voice in his head saying that "Jazz is the spiders georg of children and should not be counted"

Of course, Danny was also avoiding to look at the fact that his parents also took care of him and he kinda died. Ellie was already half dead so he couldn't fucked up that part.

He put his phone aside as he stared at the stone on his chest. It had been hours, was Ellie okay? Perhaps something had gone wrong?

He frowned wondering if he should call Frostbite when he noticed the glowing core. Before he knew it he had a 5-year-old girl crushing his stomach.

"Ouch," Danny groaned in pain "fatherhood hurts"

"Daddy! Daddy!" Ellie jumped on his stomach, she didn't seem to notice the change in title "Look! Look! Do you like my new look?"

Realizing that Jazz was right, Danny pretended to think for a few minutes, Ellie looked bummed out at his lack of response.

"Of course I love it!" Danny scooped her up into his arms as she giggled "you look perfect!"

Ellie chuckled as she ran off to Danny's room where she had kept his phone before the whole mess.

"I'll be back soon! I have to tell Val!" The girl ran off, probably forgetting that she could go through the ceiling and get to the room faster.

Danny gave her a thumbs up, as soon as Ellie disappeared down the stairs he lay back on the couch rubbing his stomach. His daughter had strength.

"We're definitely moving" he muttered, closing his eyes. Not in a million years would a girl with that much energy go unnoticed.

Danny checked his phone again and saw messages from Sam and Tucker. The halfa pouted, Jazz was a gossip.

───────────────

"Are you sure you have everything?" Tucker asked, checking a list on his PDA. No matter how many years passed, he still loved his technology and refused to throw it away.

"Definitely sure" Danny yawned as he loaded the boxes onto the GAV. Ellie was asleep in the passenger seat.

"Papers?" Tucker checked the list.

"Legal and illegal" Danny held up a folder "Thanks for that, by the way"

"You're welcome man" Tucker shrugged. He had created Ellie's papers a while back, but they had never been needed. Adapting the age was a surprise.

"Food? Money? Clothes?" Tucker recited the list, to Danny's nod he continued, "materials to put together the new portal?"

"Ready" Danny pointed to the box that said "danger", there were also the ectoplasm samples.

"I still think that's a stupid idea" Sam rolled her eyes "that thing killed you"

"Yes, but we need ectoplasm on a regular basis and well, building one was the easiest way to get it" the halfa shrugged. It still made him shudder to think about the accident but the portal was necessary "Besides, portals don't measure distance in the Realms, I can build one that's only a few feet from home"

Also, having Far Frozen close to them was always an advantage and the ghosts had promised not to invade the new town without his permission. He still couldn't believe he was moving to New Jersey.

"That's the only reason I'm letting you get away with it," Jazz snorted as she bent down to kiss her brother's forehead "Remember, we're just a phone call away"

"I know, I know, you don't need to move out as well" Danny shook his head amused, he felt that if he didn't stop them they would really try to " I never thought I would have to move"

"It's been so long since the accident" Sam remembered as she placed a hand on her hip "even though it seems like yesterday"

"It feels like it happened yesterday" Danny admitted while touching the scar on his hand. The memories of the electrocution were still fresh in his mind.

"By the way dude, are you sure to leave Vlad as her biological father?" Tucker winced at the document, he could see the reason but he didn't like it.

"Of course, that idiot must pay me child support" Danny smiled "eat the rich and all that"

Having an excuse to spend Vlad's money was always fun. And if his stupid biological sex could help that, he would use it. Danny was honestly relieved that his legal documents had been changed. He wondered if Vlad knew the real reason why he was never able to create a male clone.

"You could just ask us for money" Sam patted his shoulder "Tucker and I could support your poor ass"

Both had been very successful in their respective fields. Sam had graduated in law and was getting another degree as an Environment Protection Technician, she had changed a lot in a short time. On the other side, Tucker had created his own Technology & Security company, he was currently negotiating a deal with Wayne Enterprises.

Danny had a feeling that his friend wanted to use him to close a deal and had suggested the city as an option for that reason. Bludhaven wasn't far from Gotham after all.

"Just because I'm unemployed doesn't mean I'm poor" Danny pouted "I'll get a job in the new town before you know it"

"I hope so, your savings aren't going to stretch that long" Jazz sighed. Her brother's lack of planning never ceased to be worrisome "Oh, and don't forget to take off your blinder, you need to breathe"

Danny frowned at the comment but nodded. His ghost form was more comfortable because it suited his chosen gender, he wondered if he could change the human as well.

"Okay, I guess that's it" Tucker put the PDA away "remember not to drive like either of your parents, we don't want you to get a ticket so quickly"

"Nor that the weather news announces when you're going out" Sam smirked, she remembered when Lance Thunder started announcing when Jazz and Danny were learning to drive.

"That's impossible, you know I'm an excellent driver and therefore I'm not going to get a ticker" Danny stuck out his tongue at his best friend.

"Whatever you say Danny" Sam snorted "call us when you get there, and have a safe trip!"

His friends and sister said goodbye to him as he got on the GAV. He started driving away from home. It wasn't long before he passed the "Welcome to Amity Park" sign. The little ghost drawings around it made him smile.

Still, Danny was offended by the skepticism of his friends, he was sure that he was not going to get a ticket anytime soon.

───────────────

An officer was giving him a ticket.

Danny banged his head against the steering wheel of the vehicle as the police officer asked him the routine questions.

"Does this vehicle have a license?" The officer raised an eyebrow. Danny sighed as he handed over the GAV papers, he had licensed all of his parents' inventions long ago "Okay- wait, is this a SUV?"

"No, it's a GAV" Danny growled without further explanation, he was still annoyed by the situation. Clockwork was laughing at him from his damned tower, he was sure "Do you need anything else, officer...Grayson?"

Officer Grayson looked at the vehicle with doubt, the damn thing had more modifications than the Batmobile, he really hoped the boy wasn't some future villain.

He had so many questions to ask.

Before Dick could question him further or Danny risked murder on his first day in town, Ellie woke up from her nap.

"Daddy?" Ellie yawned looking at the driver's seat curiously "Are we there yet?"

All the halfa's anger melted away and his attitude took a complete turn.

"No honey, we got pulled over for speeding but we're in town now" Danny leaned down to brush her hair out of her face "you can go back to sleep"

"You're a bad driver" his daughter smirked, she wondered if driving skills were hereditary.

"Are you new in town?" Dick leaned in curiously, the girl reminded him of his own daughter.

Danny was about to tell him it was none of his business but Ellie answered first.

"¡Yes! We're moving" Ellie smiled "That's why we brought all the boxes, I'm going to enroll in a new school and dad is going to get a job"

"That sounds wonderful" Dick smiled softly as he handed Danny the ticket along with the GAV's papers "You should be more careful on the streets, I don't think there is anywhere that accepts 120 km/hr as a normal speed"

The halfa frowned, didn't the officer have a heart!? At least he could forgive a new neighbor for a silly mistake!

"Yeah, yeah, thanks" he murmured as he put the ticket in the glove compartment.

"Well, all seems to be in order" Dick straightened up "you can follow your way, enjoy Bludhaven!"

Danny hoped that he would never see him again.

When he arrived at his new house, the halfa carried Ellie to the couch and let her sleep, after which he began to unload the things from the GAV.

He wondered if he should start unpacking everything or just sleep. He felt tired at the thought of opening all those boxes and fell asleep on the couch with his daughter.

When he woke up it was night, Danny peeked out of the window as he heard a motorcycle park next door. Perhaps he could see his neighbors?

He gaped at the sight of fucking Officer Grayson reaching down to grab a little girl and carry her into his arms.

Wasn't it enough to be physically perfect and heartless, but he also had to be a good father? Damn everything!

It had to be a fucking joke

1K notes · View notes

animeomegas · 1 year ago

Text

The Quest for a Second Life - Part 7 - 50 Shades of Audacity (3)

KAKASHI X ALPHA!READER

Summary: The Autumn Company Party. It had been the centre of the storyline for reasons unknown, and now it was upon you. Whatever happened though, this was sure to be your last night in Kakashi's pocket universe, and a difficult decision was right around the corner. At least you had one final attempt to get your dick wet. GN!Dom!Alpha!Reader x Multiple

Word count: 10k

Warnings: N-sfw content, talks of collaring, alcohol consumption, Kakashi's abandonment issues. All alpha have dicks, fyi.

A/N: The final major part is done!!! Gosh, it's been such a journey and it's bittersweet to see it coming to an end. Happy holidays to everyone and I hope you enjoy this final part. @omeganronpa has a tough choice for the epilogue, which will be released on Christmas day :D Direct all arguments, begging and bribery here! May the best omega win! <3

Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7 - Epilogue

Despite your best attempts, you never did get an explanation of Kakashi’s strange behaviour during that phone call. Kakashi had remained tight-lipped in the face of every strategy you used to weasel the information out of him. You fully believed that, if you had been given the appropriate amount of time, you would have eventually extracted the information, but unfortunately, time had been something of a rarity over the last few weeks.

The Autumn Company Party had approached like a speeding train, and you had been forced against your will to do your job and aid in the planning. You had lost track of how many times the importance of the event had been explained to you at this point, mainly to justify your massive and ever-growing workload.

“Every important investor and stakeholder will be in attendance!” You didn’t care.

“The board of directors will be there!” You really didn’t care.

“This will be your debut as the CEO’s secretary, if you don’t make a good impression, you could be fired and blacklisted!” You especially didn’t care about that one. Don’t threaten people with a good time.

No, the part itself wasn’t something you particularly cared about. It was going to be a boring work party, like every other one you’d attended in your life, that would be partially saved by the fact that you got to be the one to design the menu with the catering company.

No, you cared about whatever the other ‘thing’ at the party would be. This was the climax of the story, and that was putting you on edge. Even James didn’t know what would happen, but she seemed completely convinced that something would.

And so, it was with a weird combination of foreboding, fatigue, and excitement that you were putting together the finishing touches of your outfit, ten minutes before Kakashi was scheduled to pick you up and take you to the party.

It felt weird, standing in a still unfamiliar flat, looking in an unfamiliar mirror, to see a done-up version of yourself that you didn’t recognise. Because really, that had been the only thing you had carried with you from your real life. You had always been you, in body and mind, even as reality melted and reformed around you.

And you still were you, of course, just a version of you that was wearing more expensive clothes, had styled hair, and donned with more jewellery than you normally would. It just made you feel strange.

You straightened, brushing down imaginary creases in your outfit, and pointed at your own reflection accusatorily. “Get over yourself. You’re wearing nice clothes, stop being dramatic.”

There, that should fix it. You were just nervous about the unknown ‘thing’ that would be happening tonight, and it was bleeding into everything else.

Your phone buzzed on your desk, almost certainly a text from Kakashi telling you that he was outside. With one final glance in the mirror, you left the flat, wondering vaguely if you’d be back to see it before the demo ended. If this party was indeed the climax of this story, then you might never return.

You gave the flat a little goodbye wave, just in case.

As you exited the building, the chill of the Autumn wind caught you off guard. You wrapped your arms around yourself, already regretting the decision not to bring a coat, and hurried towards the sleek, black car that was waiting for you.

Kakashi stepped out of the car as you approached and held open the door for you.

You grinned, “What a gentleman, thank you.”

“Of course.” He followed you back into the car and shut the door behind him, leaving you enclosed in the glorious warmth of Kakashi’s heated car and its heated seats. “You look beautiful.”

You knew it was a standard thing to say in a situation like this, but Kakashi just had a way of making compliments sound so genuine. Maybe because he wasn’t the type to keep his negative opinions to himself. Either way, you were flattered.

“Thanks, Kakashi, I appreciate that. And you paying for the outfit, of course.” You took a moment to study him, in turn. He was wearing a well tailored suit like he always was, but to match the celebratory feel, he’d gone for a dark green colour scheme as opposed to his usual monochrome. Although the lighting inside the car was dim, it was easy to see how well the colour suited him. “You’re looking incredibly handsome, yourself. What a pair we make.”

“A very attractive pair indeed,” Kakashi agreed, taking one of your hands in his. He gave it a squeeze, so you gave one back.

Silence fell, and for a moment, you focused on the way Kakashi’s thumb was rubbing on the back of your hand. This was the first time you’d been properly alone for a while now, and you found your mind drifting back to that weird phone call. You decided to ask him about it again now, seeing as he had nowhere to run.

“Kakashi—”

“I—”

You had both started to speak at once.

“Sorry, I didn’t—” You started to apologise.

“No, I’m sorry, what were you going to say?”

“Oh, it was nothing, you go first.”

Kakashi looked like he was going to argue, but he clearly decided against it and said what was on his mind.

“At the party, we can’t behave as we’d normally do at the office,” he said. “Our relationship isn’t compatible with our jobs, and while the people in my office are friendly and mostly discreet, stakeholders and board members have a track record for being less so.”

Kakashi looked guilty, so you gave his hand another squeeze to show that you didn’t hold this against him. It made sense that an important work party wasn’t the right place for making out, but you wondered if he thought that you thought he was ashamed of your relationship or something.

“I understand. Old, rich people are terrible at keeping their noses out of other people’s business.”

“That’s certainly putting it lightly,” Kakashi muttered. He seemed more frustrated that you’d expected for what was objectively a minor issue.

Granted, you had kind of been expecting some kind of action at this party, this being the climax of a porn universe narrative, but you’d live if it turned out that the ‘thing’ was something non-horny. Honestly, you’d be happy if you got through the night without any more spontaneous stripping.

“Hey, it’s only one night, right? We can manage.” Kakashi looked at you consideringly, before a small smile bloomed on his face.

“One night,” he repeated, voice soft. “I can do that.”

“We’re five minutes away, sir.”

You took a deep breath. No matter what this party threw at you, you could handle it!

…

Apparently, what this party was throwing at you was extreme boredom.

Admittedly, it wasn’t an entirely lost cause. The venue was dazzling and incredibly fancy, and you knew you’d never stepped foot in a hotel so expensive before. Walking through the front doors with Kakashi, dressed to perfection… well, it had felt a little like you were royalty. It was incredibly good for the old self-esteem.

Once you had actually entered the party though, it was a whole different story.

While your coworkers were quick to compliment you, which was lovely, it was clear that they were too on edge to be having fun. The music was quiet, which was better for talking and networking, but didn’t exactly encourage dancing. And whenever you did try to speak to new people, they wanted to ask about your professional qualifications and experiences working under Kakashi. The cherry on top of this awful cake was that the only alcohol offered was champagne, which wasn’t your favourite, nor did it numb the boredom of the party very well.

You had barely even seen Kakashi, bar a few quick flashes in passing as he schmoozed his way through the hall like a pro. His serious warning about not behaving like a couple seemed a bit dramatic now, seeing as you hadn’t even had the chance to make eye contact.

‘Are you sure it was just a warning, human?’

You jumped at James’ sudden interjection. You furtively glanced around you to make sure that none of your coworkers had noticed your seemingly out of place reaction. Thankfully, people seemed too busy to care.

‘What do you mean? What else could it have been?’

‘…’

‘James?’

‘Perhaps it was an explanation, human.’

‘An explanation? An explanation for what? Surely that means the same thing as a warning in this context.’

James didn’t respond. How bizarre. You didn’t much care for having a riddle added on top of your evening. Honestly, if it were just a boring party, you would have found someway to have fun, but you knew that some kind of event would be unfolding here, which was putting you on edge. Every second that ticked by completely normally felt like it was building to something big. And James’ riddles weren’t helping assuage the anxiety that sensation was creating.

Between the stress, the lack of alcohol, and the enforced networking, it was an exceptionally mid party, even if it was pretty.

The only saving grace was the buffet table, that you were slowly weaving your way back towards for probably the tenth time that night. This time, you decided to just remain lingering by the food in the hopes that it would stop people from asking questions about a degree you didn’t actually do.

You loaded up your plate was as much as you could and then found an empty section of wall to lean on. You popped one of the mac and cheese balls in your mouth and almost moaned at the flavour sensation that followed. They were heavenly, salty and creamy, and the breadcrumbs around the outside had just the right amount of crispiness. Like everything else on the buffet, it had an impressive depth of flavour. You weren’t ashamed to admit that having access to this catering company was on the pros column for staying in this world.

Consumed in your world of cheesy goodness, you almost didn’t notice when what you thought was a member of waitstaff leant against the wall next to you. He was carrying a tray of hors d’oeuvres, and you wondered if he was just taking a break or if you were somehow in his way.

“How are you holding up?” Hearing a familiar voice come from what you thought was a stranger had you doing a double take. You were met with Iruka’s charming grin. He was dressed in a standard black suit that obviously wasn’t tailored the way Kakashi’s were, but somehow, he pulled off the ‘slightly too big’ look with a level of a scampish charm.

What you had originally thought was a tray of hors d’oeuvres was in fact a plate that Iruka had stacked full of shot glasses, each one filled with a mini ramen. As he waited for your response, he grabbed one of the glasses and poured the ramen into his mouth with a satisfied hum.

Ah, you thought, amused, he’d wasted no time finding them.

“As well as can be,” you said, answering his original question. “How about you? Enjoying the food?”

Iruka, who was in the middle of eating a second ramen shot, paused for a second, his ears going slightly red. You snorted, averting your eyes for a second to allow him to finish the ramen shot in peace.

“Thanks,” he muttered, referring to your insistence that the catering team create a ramen hors d’oeuvre. “Makes this ridiculous party worth it.”

“No, thank you,” you countered, referring to his substantial help with the planning and paperwork for this event when your duties got a bit overwhelming. “I couldn’t have got everything finished without your help.”

“Too busy running around with Kakashi?” When you didn’t defend yourself, he rolled his eyes fondly. “You two are menaces. Actually, speaking of Kakashi, shouldn’t you be getting ready with him to go on stage about now?”

“What?” That was the first you’d heard about any obligation to go on stage. If this turned into a cheesy scene where you had to do something ridiculous like sing a duet with Kakashi, you were going to riot, possible retaliations from porn logic be damned. You did not sign up for High School Musical shenanigans. “Why would I have to go on stage?”

“Oh, you don’t know? Sorry, I thought Kakashi would have explained it to you.”

“Okay, fine, but he obviously didn’t, so could you please tell me why I have to go on stage?” Was this what James meant by the big ‘thing’ that would be happening at the Autumn Company Party?

“Of course.” Despite his positive response, Iruka then proceeded to eat another one of his ramen shots, and only after he was done, did he continue with the explanation. “Every year, Kakashi gives a speech around halfway through the party. Normal stuff, just summarising the last year, talking about new projects, thanking all the generation donators and stakeholders. The CIO of the company, Tsunade, stands by him for the speech, and for the first few years, his personal assistant stood behind him too. He hasn’t had one for a while, but now you’re here, you’ll need to stand behind him with Tsunade.”

You squinted your eyes suspiciously. “And I won’t have to speak?”

“Nope,” Iruka said, brightly. “You just have to stand there.”

Huh, that wasn’t so bad. It was slightly annoying that you were being taken away from the buffet table, but you would live.

‘You are being very brave, human.’

‘Thanks, James.’ Again, you had no idea if she didn’t know what the concept of sarcasm was, or she deployed it with skill on a never-before-seen scale. It was definitely either or, but which one, you would never know.

“Wait,” you said, suddenly remembering what Kakashi had told you about your interview with him. “Kakashi used to have a personal assistant? He said he didn’t want one because he worked better alone.”

Iruka hesitated. He looked left, then right, and when he saw that you were as alone as you could be, he leant in close and whispered.

“His old personal assistant is why he didn’t want a new one,” he explained. “At first, it didn’t seem like anything was wrong with him, but it turned out he had been placed there by the board to spy on Kakashi and relay information back. Kakashi fired him as soon as he found out, but he never accepted a personal assistant again, until the board forced him to hold interviews, and he hired you.”

“Seriously?” Iruka nodded, lips tight. “That’s crazy.” You wondered briefly how many of the people you were sitting with in the waiting room were plants from the board.

“We don’t talk about it, but everyone who was working there at the time this went down knows about it. That’s one of the reasons we were so surprised, not only when you were hired, but when you and Kakashi seemed to be having a personal relationship outside of work. I’m surprised he trusted you at all.”

Goodness. You leant against the wall as you considered what Iruka was saying. It was wild to think about how much resistance and betrayal Kakashi had faced from within his own company. You’d bet that they hadn’t been too happy when Kakashi turned 18 and decided he wanted to lead his company, and when they couldn’t take it from him, they kept tabs and put pressure on him as much as possible.

This information also contextualised your interview differently. Kakashi had claimed that he hired you because you were funny. You had theorised that you had awoken his submissive side, this being an erotica and all. And maybe both of those were true to some extent, but you now believed that it was far more likely that Kakashi had decided you were too rowdy, rude, and unprofessional to have been a plant from the board of directors.

It clicked his initial suspicions about your motivations into place, too. He hadn’t trusted your reasons for asking him to dinner, not at first. When you had demanded to spend time with him, you’d bet he was wandering if you were there to spy on him.

“Poor Kakashi…”

Iruka nodded solemnly, and then downed another ramen shot. You scanned the room while he did, hoping to catch Kakashi’s eye, wherever he was. It took you a moment, but then you found him, standing at the base of the stage, standing next to Tsunade. Ah fuck.

“I think I have to go, thanks for keeping me company, Iruka.”

Iruka waved his hand, “Good luck. I can look after your plate for you if you want—”

“No need.” You shoved the last handful of mac and cheese balls into your mouth, dumped the plate on the table, and then chewed furiously as you worked your way to the stage.

“There you are,” Tsunade said, two glasses of champagne in hand. She quickly downed them both and then shoved them into the hands of a poor waiter as he passed by. “Let’s get this over with.”

You tried to catch Kakashi’s eye, but he was too focused on walking to the stage. You and Tsunade followed after him, and you resolved to talk to him after the speech was finished.

Kakashi went up to the mic and you and Tsunade stood at his side, a few paces back. You spotted a few board members in the crowd, and you felt the urge to stick your tongue out at them. You just about managed to resist.

Kakashi used the knife against the champagne glass he was holding, and a sharp ting echoed through the microphone and around the room. The spotlight on the stage turned on, and suddenly you were bathed in a bright, white light. Everyone quieted and turned to face the stage.

The lights were hurting your eyes and making your skin feel hot, but at least your only job was to stand there and look pretty. You were good at that.

“Good evening, everyone,” Kakashi said, sounding effortlessly comfortable speaking in front of so many people. “Thank you all for coming tonight, and I hope you’ve been enjoying yourselves thus far.”

It was weird to hear him speak like this; he sounded very different when you two were alone. That was to be expected, you supposed, but it didn’t make it feel any less jarring.

“I won’t keep you long, but I thought it prudent to take a moment to thank everyone who has made this last year as successful as it was. To our staff, to our stake holders, and to our board members, I say thank you.” He raised his glass in a toast. “We would not have a company without you.”

This was an incredibly boring and generic speech. You had been sure that the ‘thing’ that was supposed to happen would happen now, but all that was happening was you struggling not to fall asleep in front of everyone.

“The past year has been a year of perfecting, of tweaking that which was already in place to make it perfect. Among other things, the building work on the new cafeteria was completed this year, and the debut of our first international branch went smoothly and successfully.”

Ugh, as Kakashi’s personal assistant, you knew all this stuff already. You just wanted to go back to the buffet, was that too much to ask?

“However, following the stage of perfection will always be a stage of change. We must now introduce new projects that will grow and be perfected over time, like the projects that came before them. And there is one major change that will take effect going forward.”

Confused whispers spread across the hall. You noticed a few members of the board looking specifically irritated, and you’d bet that Kakashi had not informed anyone in advance of whatever this big change was.

Even Tsunade was watching him warily from the corner of her eye.

“I’m resigning,” Kakashi announced, paired with his signature eye smile.

The room was silent enough that you could have heard a pin drop.

What?

Chaos erupted. People were shouting questions, making exclamations of disbelief, and loudly assuming this was a prank that wasn’t very funny.

Kakashi ignored the noise and leant back into the mic. “I nominate Tsunade as my successor.”

Tsunade sputtered, “Eh?! Like hell you are, brat!”

He had resigned. Kakashi had resigned as CEO of the company he had been a part of his entire life. James had said that whatever happened at the party would be a direct consequence of how you had acted in this demo. So, presumably, this was your fault, but how?

Our relationship isn’t compatible with our jobs, that’s what he’d said to you in the car. You had thought he was warning you to tone things down for the evening, but James had suggested that it wasn’t a warning, but an explanation. You hadn’t understood what she’d meant, but now you did. He was explaining to you, in his own way, why he was about to resign.

The strange phone call fit, too. He had mentioned thinking about the Autumn Company Party, and whatever was on his mind had made him seek your number for comfort, but he refused to tell what he was thinking about. He was likely thinking about whether he should resign.

While you put the pieces together, the room around you was still very much in a state of chaos. Kakashi, however looked completely calm. He put the microphone back in the stand, handed his champagne and knife to a raging Tsunade, and then turned to you.

You watched as he approached you. You could feel how wide your eyes were. You thought he was going to say something, but he got closer and closer until he was right in your personal space, where he looped an arm around your waist, pulled you tight against him, and kissed you.

He was kissing you. Kakashi was kissing you in front of his whole company. You had kissed Kakashi before, many times, but there was something about this kiss that overshadowed all the others. It took a moment for your brain to catch up to what was happening and remember to how to kiss, but you eventually found your footing.

Your lips and tongues danced together serenely, driving out the chaos of the background noise until you two were the only people that mattered. You could feel and taste the longing pouring out of Kakashi, begging you to understand him and stay by his side. You wound your hands around his neck to reassure him, and in return, he squeezed your waist affectionately.

You were quickly running out of air, but you didn’t want this moment to end.

Regardless of your wishes, however, the kiss did end. As Kakashi pulled away slowly, the bubble burst and the noise from the party came rushing back in. Questions were still being shouted, and while some people were displeased by Kakashi’s display, others cheered.

You felt like you were trapped in a daze. You half expected to topple over when Kakashi let go of you to lean back to the microphone.

“We have paid for the venue until 1am, so please enjoy the rest of the party. Goodnight!”

And with that, he grabbed you by the hand and pulled you through a stage door and out of the party. You let him, still completely stunned at what had just happened.

You walked out of the venue in silence, through a back exit for somewhat obvious reasons, and Kakashi’s car was already waiting for you both. You both slid into the warmth of the car, and the second the seatbelts were on, the car pulled away from the hotel and into the city. The bright lights filtered into the car as you drove, but the outside world had never felt so far away.

“Are you… okay?” Kakashi asked, voice nervous.

You wanted to answer him properly, really you did, but your mouth and brain weren’t quite in agreement yet, so the only thing that came out was, “I was going to fill the Tupperware in my bag with more mac and cheese bites.”

Kakashi blinked at you for a moment, before he sent you nervous smile. “I’ll order you some more, as many as you want, I promise.”

Through your embarrassment at you lacking filter, you nodded, and silence fell in the car again. Unlike the normal, comfortable silence that you shared with Kakashi, the awkwardness was palpable. You wanted to break it, but you didn’t quite know how, after everything that had just happened. When your phone buzzed, you grabbed for it desperately as an escape from the weird silence. It was a text from Kurenai.

‘Sorry for not warning you in advance what Kakashi was planning. I feel pretty guilty now, Asuma too. He says the apology is from him too.’

Right, so some people did know in advance. Honestly, you were a bit annoyed that no one had warned you. You were halfway through writing a slightly snarky text back, when she sent another message.

‘We were planning on telling you, but we had to focus on convincing Kakashi out of his idea to propose to you this evening.’

You immediately forgave them both, deleted the previous message, and instead thanked them profusely for saving you from a very awkward conversation. Oh, Kakashi.

Speaking of Kakashi, he was sitting awkwardly in his seat, staring out the window. His shoulders were incredibly tense. You couldn’t just leave him sitting there.

“So, are you really resigning?”

Kakashi swallowed heavily, “Yes… I was thinking about what you said, about having my own dreams, and I still don’t know what those dreams are yet, but I know they aren’t in that company, not anymore.”

You nodded slowly. Kakashi was watching your reaction like a hawk.

“I’m not going to leave completely, I don’t think I could,” he hastened to add. “I can’t abandon my father’s company completely, but… I need time.”

“I understand, Kakashi, it’s okay.”

“You do?” He sounded so vulnerable and lost. You undid your seatbelt and slid into the middle seat instead, before clicking the belt back on. From there, you were able to wrap your arms around Kakashi.

It was slightly awkward in the car, but you didn’t let that stop you. Kakashi fell into your arms gratefully and braced his head against your shoulder.

“I do, darling. You’ve been working your entire life at that company, Kakashi, you deserve a break. I’m already tired of working, so I can’t imagine how you feel. I’ll support whatever pathway you choose to take.”

Kakashi sagged onto you, breathing harshly and clinging onto you with desperate hands. You shushed him, and gently ran your fingers through his hair.

Poor Kakashi, you thought, holding him tightly. You could tell that he was so incredibly burnt out, but he hadn’t even noticed until someone had forced him to see that other choices existed. And once you had pulled the curtain back and showed him reality, he couldn’t bare to continue the way he had been for even a second longer.

Now that the shock had subsided, you were filled with pride for him. It wasn’t easy to leave something life-defining behind, even if you wanted to. But he had done it, and now you were going to be here to make sure he could handle the emotional backlash.

You pressed a kiss to Kakashi’s gravity-defying hair and gave him an affectionate nuzzle. If you chose this world, and your fictional family became real, you were dragging Kakashi into it.

“I want to do up my childhood home properly,” he said, pulling away and rubbing at his eyes. “I want to modernise it again, fill it with new photos and unrestrained laughter. I want to walk my dogs; I don’t want to hire a dog walker anymore. And…”

“And?” you pressed your forehead against his.

“And I hope you’ll be there with me. Because that’s one thing I do know. I love you, and I want you with me wherever I go.”

“Oh, Kakashi,” you cooed softly, pecking him on the lips. “I love you too, and I’ll follow you wherever you go, my darling.”

He sighed, relieved, “And you aren’t angry at me for not telling you that I was resigning?”

“Well, I wouldn’t say that. I would have appreciated a heads up, I won’t lie.”

“I’m sorry,” he said quietly. He dropped his head onto your shoulder. “Maybe… maybe you should punish me…”

It took a moment for his unexpected words to sink in, but when they did, heat rushed downwards.

Oh.

…

You had expected to end up at Kakashi’s penthouse, but his chauffeur had pulled up in front of your flat instead. It had given more credence to your theory that Kakashi preferred your flat to his. You didn’t mind, so you didn’t comment on it.

You could have done without the flat look Kakashi’s chauffeur had given you both when he said that he wouldn’t be needing a lift home until tomorrow though.

The warmth of your flat was a welcome change from the Autumn chill, but it was the hot, electric tension fizzling through air that really captured your attention. You both kicked off your shoes and put down your bags, but the second you were done, the tension snapped, and you slammed Kakashi against the door with your body, pressing your lips against his in an aggressive kiss.

Kakashi met your sudden kiss with no hesitation and just as much aggression. You could feel the clack of your teeth knocking together, but you couldn’t hear it over the door shaking in the frame. You sent a half-hearted apology to your neighbours for the kind of noises they were about to hear.

You kissed with urgency. Kakashi moaned into your mouth and his hands pawed at your waist. There weren’t any undertones of dominance or submissive yet, only passion. Your lips tangled with his as you pushed through the burning need for oxygen.

When you could hold out no longer, you pulled away and instead took the opportunity to nuzzle at Kakashi’s neck, inhaling his heady scent, and undo the buttons on Kakashi’s shirt.

“Your shirts still have too many buttons,” you panted against Kakashi’s skin. “I think we should burn them all.”

“If you want me naked, you just have to ask,” he said, chest heaving.

“Maybe I will.” You finished the last button, leaving Kakashi’s shirt to hang open. He was still wearing his tie and suit jacket, which framed the newly revealed sliver of skin. “Now that you’re not a big, fancy CEO, I can keep you as my naked butler.”

Kakashi snorted. “Of course, you’re into that.”

You pulled away from his neck and grinned, “How do you feel about cat ears?”

Kakashi didn’t seem to find your idea as amusing as you did. “You wish.”

You hummed in amusement, loosening his tie and throwing it behind you somewhere. His jacket quickly followed, crumpling on the ground at the base of the front door, leaving Kakashi in only his open shirt and trousers.

Kakashi, sensing the unfair differences in dress, attempted to liberate you from your shirt, but you caught both of his wrists in your hands and pinned them against the door.

“I can’t touch you? That’s hardly fair,” he pouted, playfully tugging at your restraint.

You slipped a knee in between his legs and ground it up against his crotch. Kakashi gave a hoarse gasp and folded forward slightly. “This isn’t supposed to be fair, Kakashi. Was it fair that you didn’t tell me of your resignation in advance? This is a punishment, darling.”

Kakashi growled lightly. You knew how much he loved to touch you, which is exactly why you denied him the honour. You growled back at him and to your delight, he immediately submitted, baring his neck. You nipped at the newly presented flesh, trying to keep yourself from getting too close to mating mark territory.

Maybe one day he would wear your mating mark, but today was not that day.

“Come on,” you said, pulling him forward by the belt. “I think it’s time we move to the bedroom before someone complains about the banging on the front door.”

“Do you have to tug me by my trousers?” Kakashi asked, although he didn’t do anything to stop you.

“Hmm, you’re right, this would be much easier with a lead, and a collar, of course.” You grinned at him with heavily lidded eyed. “Would you like me to get you your very own collar, ‘kashi?”

You were just testing the waters with that particular kink. It would be easy for him to write it off as a joke, like the cat ears, but if he liked it…

Kakashi’s pale skin lit up in a brilliant pink. Well, that answered that question.

“Figures. You’d look hot in a collar, puppy.”

“Shut up,” Kakashi mumbled weakly, still following you obediently.

On the way to the bedroom, Kakashi lost his shirt, his trousers, and his underwear, creating a trail of clothes to the bedroom like a strange R-rated version of Hansel and Gretel.

You entered your bedroom and flicked on the lights. Kakashi went to stand by the bed, seemingly waiting for your next instruction. Having a naked omega in your bedroom really was the best way to end a night.

Honestly, it was a shame you couldn’t have a naked Kakashi and naked Itachi here with you. That impossibility was far more tragic than your own untimely death.

“Now, what should I do for your punishment, Kakashi, hm?” you asked, tilting your head consideringly. “Should I replicate Makoto’s punishment? You seemed to enjoy that.”

You delicately rested your hands on his throat, teasing him with featherlight touches. Kakashi shuddered, and his eyes fluttered closed. You used both hands to complete the full collar effect around his neck, just as had been described in the Icha Icha book.

“It makes sense that you like collars, considering the amount of time you spend reading about Makoto wearing one. Is that why you like Icha Icha, Kakashi?”

“I told you, I read it for the story. It’s a masterpiece of—"

You gently applied a little more pressure to the sides of his neck and his weak argument went silent. You felt powerful watching him fold at your feet.

As much as asking him for his opinion on his punishment was a method of teasing him, you really did have to figure out what his punishment was going to be.

You hadn’t had much time to plan, and your flat was tragically empty of things like toys or bondage. You resolved to fix that if you ended up in this world, but that didn’t help you right now.

For anyone else, you might have considered just denying him pleasure while he pleasured you, but Kakashi was a service sub through and through. No, he wasn’t going to be allowed to touch you, but you weren’t going to touch him either. He needed to focus on his own pleasure, and just like that, the perfect idea sprang to mind.

“Get on the bed and present to me; I want to see that sopping hole of yours.”

You watched with rapt attention as Kakashi climbed onto your bed on all fours. He let his shoulders fall to the blanket and then, resting his weight on his shoulders, he reached behind him.

“That’s it,” you mumbled, almost drooling. “Show alpha that needy hole.”

Kakashi used his hands to bare his hole for you, holding it open for your scrutiny. And what pretty picture he made, just for you.

His hole was indeed sopping wet, glistening in the warm lighting as his fingers struggled to retain a grip on the slippery skin. His dick swung proudly downwards, framed by the A-line shape Kakashi had created with his thighs. It dribbled a few clear beads of precum onto your sheets, but the idea of having to grab a towel for your activities was quickly dismissed when you realised you couldn’t bare to take your eyes off your omega for even a second.

Kakashi’s muscles strained as he kept up the presenting position for you. Confidence practically oozed from every pore in his body, exemplified no better in the challenging grin he had on his face. Kakashi knew he was sexy, and he was willing to weaponize that against you as much as possible.

Once again, you were struck by how different he was from Itachi. Sex didn’t make Kakashi bashful, emotions did. Sex didn’t make him feel like a different person, it amplified his traits. Itachi had been the opposite in both.

Honestly, if an outsider had seen your two dimension choices, you wouldn’t have blamed them for assuming that two different people had been involved.

You sat on the edge of the bed and leant forward so that you face was eye height with his hole. It twitched under your scrutiny, and you couldn’t help but coo.

“What a pretty hole you have, omega.” You blew some cold air on it to watch it flinch. As it clenched, a drop of slick began to run down to his thighs. It was practically drooling for you, begging you to fill it with something.

Although the rest of Kakashi was very pretty indeed, his hole had to be one of his best features. Tragically, you hadn’t had much time to spend with it recently, with all the work you’d had to do. It was probably lonely without you, and that wouldn’t do.

Except… you studied it closely, noting the slight gape and softness that you didn’t expect. Maybe his hole hadn’t been as lonely as you’d thought, because he was far too stretched considering it had been more than a week.

Oh, you realised, smirking, big, bad, genius Kakashi had been touching himself. He had been lonely and horny as work kept you both apart, and he had decided to take matters into his own hands. You imagined him for a moment, splayed on the massive bed in his penthouse, one hand fucking himself and the other pressed over his mouth to keep himself from waking his dogs.

“Have you been lonely, Kakashi?” you asked, deciding to call him out on it.

“No?” You could hear the question in his voice; he didn’t know where you were going with this, and that made it sweeter.

“I only asked because, well,” -you paused for effect- “your hole is looking very ready right now. I wonder if perhaps you’ve been touching yourself without my permission.”

The pink flush crept down Kakashi’s back, and he turned to hide his face in your duvet; you’d caught him red handed.

“Ah, what a slutty puppy I have, hm?” Kakashi whined, and some more beads of pre cum splashed against the blanket. “Tell me, did you use a toy, or did you use your fingers?”

“Is that any of your business?”

“Kakashi…” you said, warning clear.

“…Fingers,” Kakashi said reluctantly, his voice muffled by your blanket. “I used my fingers.”

Perfect. “Show me.”

“What?”

“Show me how you fingered yourself, Kakashi. What position did you use? Show your alpha how you placated that slutty hole of yours.”

Hesitantly, Kakashi turned over so that he was laying on his back, legs splayed wide for your viewing pleasure. He then grabbed one of the decorative cushions and slotted it under his hips so that his hole was easier to reach. Kakashi held his lips between his teeth and brought a hand down so that his fingertips were resting on his hole.

“I did it like this…”

“I see,” you said, tilting your head at him. “And how many fingers did you use?”

“I started with one.”

You waved your hand at him to go ahead. “Show me how you did it.”

Kakashi slowly sunk his middle finger in, making an obscene squelching noise as he did. Clear fluid dripped out around his finger, and you were once again incredibly grateful for the immaculate horny imagery that the porn logic provided for you.

Idly, you wondered if he really had started with his middle finger, or if it was some kind of subtle ‘fuck you’. With Kakashi, you could never bee 100% sure.

He pumped the finger in a few times, obviously finding no resistance. His angry cock stood proudly, but Kakashi ignored it for the time being.

“But one finger didn’t satisfy you, did it? Your greedy hole needed more.”

Kakashi rolled his eyes but nodded, “I used two fingers next.” He didn’t need to be asked to show you this time, and his pointer finger soon joined his middle one.

Now he had two fingers, Kakashi picked up the pace and began periodically curling his fingers in search of that wonderful bundle of nerves. The wet noises increased, but Kakashi didn’t seem to be having much luck.

You watched as he got progressively more frustrated at his inability to find his prostate. He tried to hike his legs up further to get a better angle, but no luck. He tried switching hands, but it didn’t help at all. He even tried holding his breath at one point, just in case it had some kind of effect, but nothing.

His face scrunched up and he bared his teeth, but it wasn’t like his own body was going to somehow be intimidated into giving him what he wanted, so that didn’t work either.

You watched, baffled and slightly amused, as the wet patch underneath his hips grew larger and larger, completely soaking your decorative pillow, and yet Kakashi still couldn’t seem to get close to his orgasm.

For a moment, you wondered if something was wrong, before you realised what forces controlled the universe you were currently in. This was a punishment because Kakashi took an action without you. It only made narrative sense that he couldn’t find his own prostate and needed you to do it for him.

The lecherous grin that blossomed on your face would have likely scared more delicate omegas away.

You let him finger himself for almost ten minutes, at which point you could tell his hands were starting to cramp, and his face was bright red from exertion. His thighs were trembling, and he was sweating, but his release had escaped him the entire time.

You figured fifteen minutes of frustrating edging was enough punishment for now. You gently rested your hand on top on his, ceasing his frantic fingering. Carefully, you extracted his fingers with a wet plop. Kakashi whined, but you shushed him, putting his hand down on his stomach.

“It’s not going to happen on your own, darling, don’t you understand?” Kakashi peered up at you, panting. His eyes made it clear that he didn’t understand. “You need me to do it for you. I can make you feel so very good, but you need to learn to trust me. I know what you need, I can deliver what you need. You just” -you slipped two of your own fingers inside him- “need” -you pumped them slowly- “to trust” -you curled your fingers, immediately finding his swollen prostate with the power of porn logic- “me.” You pressed down on the bundle of nerves as hard as you could.

Kakashi gasped, his entire body lifting off the bed as he finally got a taste of the pleasure he had been desperately chasing. His cock was weeping, and you rolled his balls in your free hand, but stopped moving your fingers.

“Right there,” he panted, sounding close to tears. “Hit there again.”

You stared him down, pointedly not moving your fingers. “Why are you being punished, Kakashi?”

“What?!”

“Why are you being punished?” He glared at you, but you only raised an eyebrow at him, the same way he did to you so often when you first met.

“You’re playing this game now?” You refused to budge, and quickly, his desperation outweighed his pride. “Because I didn’t warn you that I was going to resign.”

“And why is that bad?”

Kakashi growled, “Because it concerned you and you deserved to know.”

“Apologise.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, voice desperate. He rocked his hips down on your fingers, muscles shaking. “I’m sorry, I won’t do it again, just please, get me off!”

It was hardly the most articulate or heartfelt of apologies, but you were happy to let it slide this time. You pumped your fingers in and out a few times and Kakashi relaxed. Now, you just had to curl your fingers just right, and— There!

You grinded your fingers into his prostate mercilessly. Kakashi’s eyes rolled backwards and the noise that escaped him was one of pure, toe curling, ecstasy.

“This feels better, doesn’t it, ‘kashi.” You didn’t phrase it as a question because you knew you were right. “That’s because I’m doing it. You’re so used to being the one in control, the one everyone comes to when they need help or advice, but deep down, you just want someone else to deal with everything, don’t you?”

Kakashi whined as you picked up the pace with your fingers. His prostate was so swollen that you caught it every time. When you used your other hand on his cock, his whine transitioned into an open-mouthed moan as Kakashi writhed on your bed.

You set a fast pace, but when you saw his balls tighten, you withdrew your hands completely. Kakashi thrashed in frustration, his swollen cock bobbing in the open air.

“Why’d you stop?” he asked, panting. His tongue was lolling out ever so slightly.

“Because you’re loose enough to take me now, Kakashi, why would I continue?” You maintained an innocent façade that Kakashi could obviously see through but couldn’t question. “Your punishment may be over, but my pleasure still outranks yours.”

Kakashi scoffed, but he was too far gone to successfully pretend that he was aching for your cock, so he remained quiet.

You decided it was time to strip. Your clothes were feeling a little tight in some key areas, and while the contrast between yours and Kakashi’s states of dress was sexy, you had had enough of wearing them.

Kakashi’s stare was red hot as it lingered on every piece of newly revealed skin, as your outfit was slowly shed. It was flattering how much pleasure he seemed to gain just from seeing you strip, and you couldn’t resist blowing him a little kiss as the final article of clothing fell to the floor. Like the utter dork he was, he mimed catching the kiss and then held that fist to his chest.

You crawled over him, giggling at his antics, as you settled in between his still splayed legs. You hummed, running your hands up and down his chest, your fingers catching on his pebbled nipples. “While this view is delectable, I was thinking about a slightly different position for the grand finale.”

“And what position would that be?”

With some difficultly, you pulled Kakashi up and slid yourself into his previous position, kicking the soaking cushion off the bed as you did. When you were finished, Kakashi was now the one hovering over you. You took advantage of your new position and stole a quick kiss from him.

“I think that it’s your turn to make me feel good,” you said, grabbing a hold of your cock and pumping it slowly. “How do you feel about riding me?”

You had a front row seat to the way Kakashi’s eyes dilated at your suggestion. He drew back, and his eyes flickered down to your dick. With obvious physical agreement, Kakashi straddled you, one knee either side of your hips, and replaced your hand with his own on your dick.

He sent you a sultry look, and then dragged the head of your dick back and forth against him, until the head caught of his loosened hole. Kakashi hovered there for a moment, until a drop of his slick ran down your dick.

“Tease me and I’ll edge you until you cry, Kakashi.”

He considered your challenge with a head tilt and eye smile. “If you say so.”

He slammed his hips down all at once, skin hitting skin with a wet slap. You choked at the sudden onslaught of sensations as his wet heat wrapped around you.

“Fuck, you are such a brat, you know that?”

“Me?” He put a hand against his chest in mock offence. “Never.” To emphasise his point, he drew his hips up until you almost slipped out, only to then drop his hips down all at once, again.

“Just get to it, pretty, before I go soft from boredom.” That was entirely a bluff, of course; you were incredibly hard and that wasn’t changing any time soon.

Kakashi did as you’d asked. At first, the pace of his hips was fast, but not particularly rhythmic. His thighs were incredibly muscular and had no trouble holding his weight as he bounced up and down, but you could tell that he had never done this before, so you settled your hands on his hips to help him.

“You don’t have to go all the way off every time,” you explained, holding him still. “Here, try moving your hips backwards and forwards for a bit, like you’re grinding.”

Kakashi tried what you were explaining, and you could tell immediately that it felt better for him, because his face screwed up in pleasure as his slid backwards and forwards on your hips, painting them with his slick.

From that point onwards, he alternated between powerful up and down riding, and sensual rocking. He seemed to delight in avoiding a noticeable pattern, so you could never quite predict when he was going to switch between them.

His gooey insides were your favourite place to be regardless, so you let him play how he wanted to. To retain some of your power, you took to plucking at his nipples whenever his pace flagged. While it was probably incredibly rude to compare two omegas’ nipples, you couldn’t help it. Itachi did have cuter nipples, it had to be said, but Kakashi had better pecs, so it evened out.

Again, you desperately wished James would tell you who created these drop dead gorgeous omegas, but extracting information from her was worse than pulling teeth.

As Kakashi continued to ride you, the squelching was so loud that you were certain that at least one of your neighbours was cursing you right now. Or maybe they were into it; it was a porn world.

The rhythmic slapping felt like a countdown to your impending orgasm, as something burning bubbled underneath your skin. You loved being more sensitive in porn worlds, but it did make it harder to last.

Kakashi was getting more desperate, too. Although his thighs were starting to slow from exertion, he was relentless in his riding. He moaned unabashedly as your knot started to inflate and catch on his rim.

Your instincts screamed at you to knot him. You felt delirious with pleasure, and you needed this pretty omega to take your seed. You needed to mark him, so that no one else, no clients, no colleagues, and no board members, would ever even consider touching him again.

You looked up at Kakashi as he hovered above you. His skin shined in the light, although it had nothing on the way his slick shined against your skin. “Good boy, you’re such a good boy, Kakashi, my good boy.”

Kakashi seized, and with a cry, he shot white ropes of cum all over your stomach and chest, while clear liquid forced its way past your dick and out into the open air. With each shot, Kakashi’s insides tensed and pulsed, and you couldn’t hold on any longer.

You came too, knot locking into place inside him, as you painted his insides white. You came so hard that you almost blacked out. You were more used to the increased number of cum shots now, but it still felt insanely good to ride the high of a good 50 seconds of orgasm.

Kakashi slowly fell forward, breathing harshly, until his face was resting beside yours. He was making a valiant effort to keep the majority of his weight off you, but that wasn’t what you wanted.

“Come here,” you said, tugging him down until his entire weight was resting on you. “That’s it, I’ve got you, you don’t need to worry about stuff like that, remember?”

Kakashi chuckled tiredly, “If you insist.”

You pressed a loving kiss to the side of his head, basking in the after glow as you both waited for your knot to deflate.

“Thank you,” Kakashi muttered, pressing a kiss against your shoulder.

“For what?”

“For staying with me.”

Guilt spiked inside your chest as you remembered the choice you were to have to make.

And of course, right at that moment, your vision faded out from the edges, dousing your vision in black. When light bled back in, Kakashi was nowhere to be seen. James was there instead, and you were back to standing in the middle of the library. You swallowed heavily as your final moments with Kakashi swelled up inside you as grief and longing.

You felt pretty rough.

“Welcome back, human,” James said, sounding quieter than normal. Her voice wasn’t really soft, but it was what you imagined she believed that soft was.

“Thanks, James.” Wow, even your voice sounded rough.

Like last time, James reached out to tap you on the head, but unlike the relief that had followed when your emotions were supressed, this time only made you feel worse as all the emotions from Itachi’s pocket dimension came flooding back in too. It made you feel like you were wearing a head several sizes too small.

You took a deep breath and tried to compartmentalise as much of what you were feeling as you could.

“I know you must be feeling overwhelmed, human alpha, but I must remind you that you will kill us both, along with many others, if you do not make a fast decision on which pocket dimension you wish to use the rest of your life energy in.” She straightened out both books in front of you on the library table. ‘Potions and Magic and Sex, Oh My!’ was on your right, while ’50 Shades of Audacity’ sat on your left.

“Fuck, James, how am I supposed to choose?” You slumped into one of the library chairs and put your head in your hands.

“I know this must be a difficult choice human. You performed remarkably in both worlds, and I am certain that both omegas love you dearly.” Ugh, that did not make you feel any better. “However, one of them will feel right in a way that the other doesn’t. Use your instincts, human, I trust that they will not steer you wrong.”

Your instincts? It felt like they were in a mess. You felt conflicting messages flood through you as your instincts screamed at you for even considering leaving either omega. But you had to leave one of them.

You closed your eyes and allowed your instinctual reaction to guide you. It was a mess in your head, but you didn’t have time to untangle anything.

“When you’re ready, put your hand on the book that you wish to enter.”

“James?” You opened your eyes and stared down at the weird Curator that had been guiding you all this time.

“Yes, human alpha?”

“Thank you for everything,” you said earnestly, sending her a smile. “I’m going to miss you.”

James seemed taken aback, but she eventually returned your smile. “I will miss you too, human. I will request to be the Curator to meet you here after your life energy is gone, so that I may escort you onwards.”

“Thanks James.” You kind of felt like crying, but you couldn’t delay this anymore. “I think I’m ready.”

Quickly, so that you couldn’t agonise over changing your mind, you slapped your hand down on world that you wanted, and everything went dark.

Next chapter

#the quest for a second life #kakashi #kakashi hatake #reader #reader insert #kakashi x reader #a/b/o #omegaverse #omega kakashi #sub kakashi #omega!kakashi #sub!kakashi #dom reader #alpha reader #alpha!reader #dom!reader #n-sfw

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lure-of-writing · 1 year ago

Text

Why can't we?

Authors Note: Oh My gosh guys, the love on part two was insane, truly thank you so much. It makes me so happy seeing all the comments and reposts it means the most to me. Part three is officially here and I am so excited for you to read it and I can't wait to see what you guys think about it. Without giving the ending away I would love to hear what you guys think about an alternative ending? Anyways if you have any request or ideas please send them in and again thank you all so much!

Summary: After leaving the night court you begin to find your place in your new life, that is until the night court comes to be directly in your home.

Word count: 4.0k

Warnings: Angst, arguing, (Let me know if I forgot any!)

Part one: Never been good enough

Part Two: Left in regret

Thesan was waiting for your arrival with the captain of the peregryn army in the common area of his home. They had been waiting no more for ten minutes until they heard the thundering of wings and watched as Kolos landed with you in his arms.

Kolos was second in command under his captain and a lifelong friend of yours. Having been raised alongside him you knew he would never pass judgment upon you and also provide the support you would undoubtedly need in the following weeks as you figured out how to put your life back together. You were born into the dawn court but had chosen to leave with the idea of being able to be used to your full potential as a spy and you did in fact find that in the night court but you had also never regretted a decision as much as you also loved the people you met and memories you made from that said decision.

“Y/n welcome back home to the dawn court, we have missed you sincerely.” Thesan the living embodiment of calm energy welcomed you with open arms and a warm hug. “I assume all went well?” you could tell that the question was directed at Kolos “Yes they didn’t try to stop us but I think y/n has something very important to tell the two of you.” Without another word Thesan took a seat in a chair and motioned for everyone to do the same. “Azriel…Azriel is my mate.” you watched with a baited breath for anyone to say anything and for a while no one did that was until your high lord spoke up. “And how do you feel about that?”

“Well considering that he's in love with Elain, not very great. But I am not going to force either of us to be in a relationship that the other does not want. He was only apologetic because we are mates. If we weren’t he would have never chosen me.” In the week that you had been residing back in your home court you had kept all this information to yourself, unwilling or maybe even unable to accept the cards you had been dealt but to finally tell someone other the Kolos felt like lifting a weight off your chest. Like it was a start in the right direction to leaving the past and starting anew.

“This is certainly unexpected information.” the captain spoke up “Yeah you’re telling me.” a breathy laugh fell from your lips as you glanced at your high lord waiting to see what he had to say. “I guess that means I can expect letters from Rhysand or maybe even a visit from the night court?” Thesan looked at you in question. “Oh no, I don’t think that will be happening. I made myself very clear to Azriel that I didn’t want to be his second choice or anything like that. If I haven’t been good enough for him in the almost five hundred years of knowing him then why would I suddenly be good enough now? I’m not interested in partaking in those mind games.”

“Very well. I support whatever decision you make. Always.” you bowed your head in appreciation to the kind ruler. For as long as you remember Thesan has always been kind to you, always let you do as you wish and have control over your own life. He never offered any input unless asked and always listened with compassion while allowing you to figure out your own life, the least you could do is serve in his court to at least restart to repay him for all the care and compassion he has shown you in life. “Thesan? If you would allow it, I would be honored to serve in your court again, it's the least I can do to repay the kindness you have shown me.” you could tell the captain was uneasy with your request and it made sense you had just come from the night court claiming Azriel as your mate and now wanted to serve in his lover's court. But truly you wanted nothing more than to leave behind the past and start building your new life in the dawn court. The court you were always supposed to be in. “It would be an honor to have you serve in my court.”

Surprisingly it had been almost six months after leaving before the night court reached out to set up a meeting with you and the high lord but upon your request it was denied. You had finally settled into a routine not only within the court but within your own life and you had no plans of having any member of letting the night court interrupt that. “So how many more times do you think that they are going to send a letter before they get the hit?” Kolos sat at the kitchen table and watched as you made the both of them breakfast. “Honestly I don’t know. It's one thing in Rhysand is sending them himself but it's another if Azriel is asking him to send them. You know how Illyrians are, too stubborn for their own good.” Kolos couldn’t help but laugh at your statement for it held nothing but truth. “I suppose you are not wrong but what happens if there is a high lords meeting? You will be expected to attend.” The food was set before him as you moved to take the seat next to him. You placed you head on your head and smiled at him “It's a good thing I have my own personal warrior to protect me”

During the first initial weeks you stayed in the court palace but soon after you moved into Kolos house. At first it was only because you would never pass up the opportunity to live with your friend, especially in the time of trying to move past your old life of the night court and what's a better idea then moving forwards with the support of a lifelong friend. As the six months came and went you found yourself becoming interested in Kolos and it was safe to say that the same could be said for him. The line that was becoming increasingly more blurred of friends and lovers had never been crossed but something told you that it would be very soon.

You were at the daily meeting with Thesan and all of his other trusted advisors including Kolos when the announcement was made. “Rhysand has requested a high lords meeting, he also asks that it be held here.” there it was, the final card that you knew Rhysand had to play. Unlike most courts, Thesan had two emissaries, one was an older male and the other was you. He handled the day and night court while you handled the summer, spring, autumn and winter court. Theo, your counterpart, could not handle the likes of Berons offspring but unlike him nothing brought you more joy then the verbal sparring match that was bound to happen while dealing with Eris. Being in charge of the seasonal courts meant you had no idea what was happening with the other ones. Didn’t know it was escalating to the point of a high lords meeting being called but you also knew that when it came to Rhysands brothers he would stop at nothing to help them.

You could feel everyone's eyes on you. Nobody knew the full reason as to why you had returned to the dawn court but your departure from the night court had piqued enough interest that the fae in the room were looking to you for the answer as to why Rhysand requested this meeting. You knew why but refused to acknowledge it. “And what exactly is the reason behind this meeting?” Kolos was quick to pull the attention away from yourself and onto him. “He wants to see how everyone is doing after the war and talk over next moves.” you watched as Thesan weighed his options. “Very well, the same rules apply as last time.”

The date of the meeting had been set for three months after the letter had been read, as it was to ensure each court would be able to attend despite their excuses. You had spent the morning getting ready trying to fight off the nerves of having to see your old family again when Kolos decided that he had enough of watching you fight the thoughts running loose in your head. Leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed he simply watched for a minute as you perfected your makeup. “You do know that if Azriel tries anything I will kick his ass.” startled you look through the mirror to meet his eyes. “You also do know that the last time there was a high lord meeting that he was able to get through the barriers? I mean you were there.” Kolos simply gave you a shrug and a sly smile before taking in your outfit. A beautiful dress adored your body, it was a soft blush orange color as if to mimic the color of the sunrise. The top of the dress was a v-neck that stopped just below the sternum with straps on the top that started on one side wrapped around your neck and connected to the other side as if to make an x on your chest. The sleeves see through and flowy while the bottom of your dress had two hip high slits on each side of your hips. The whole dress was stunning.

Kolos knew that the dress you picked out was nothing out of your usual attire but after seeing you in night court clothes for so long it was nothing short of breathtaking to see you in dawn court attire, and it didn’t help that your dress was fit for a queen. As much as he would love to sit here and drink in your beauty for as long as you would let him, Thesan wouldn’t be pleased if you were last to the meeting that was being hosted in his court mostly for the reason of your old personal matters. So without another word said he ushered you to the door and from there you winnowed to the court palace.

Ryhsand was fashionably late as always but of course not without letting his shadowsinger and general making sure it was safe first. You watched from afar as he appeared from thin air and assessed that it was safe for his high lord and lady. Soon after the inner circle appeared before your very eyes. You watched as they took their seats across from where you were sat at the side of Kolos. Thesan was in the middle and to the right of him was his captain and to his right was Kolos and at his side was you. It was a safe bet to make that they were surprised to see you on the side of warriors and not the side where the other important court members sat.

You felt as if Azriel tried to catch your eyes but you refused to give him that satisfaction so instead you focused on watching all those in the room except the night court. “I forgot to tell you that you look stunning by the way.” Kolos had leaned over to whisper into your ear and intern place himself just mere inches from your face. “I see what you’re playing at but thank you.” you whispered back as you felt Azriel stare weigh on your body. “I’m not playing at anything, I simply forgot to compliment you earlier and thought I should do it before the chaos ensues.”

From the moment Azriel arrived his eyes couldn’t leave your body. They assessed you from head to toe to make sure you were ok before taking in your outfit. The night court attire looked good on you but he hates to admit the dawn court was devastatingly beautiful. He took in every part of your exposed skin and wished he could keep the eyes of every male and female off of you so that nobody got the idea of approaching you.

Azriel knew that you were avoiding making eye contact with him and anyone else from the inner circle and he would be lying if he said it didn’t hurt but he also knew he was to blame. But nine months had passed since he seen you last and he wanted nothing more than to sit down and be able to explain everything, to beg for your forgiveness and make the mating bond work. In those first six months Azriel sent letter after letter along with Rhysand pleading for you to come back and just talk to him but eventually he realized you wouldn’t so he asked Rhysand to call this meeting in hopes that he would get a moment alone with you to tell you everything he needed to say.

What Azriel didn’t account for was for you to be seated directly next to the random man he saw when you had come back to the house of wind to collect your belongings. He also didn’t account for the said random man to put his face so close to yours that if you moved you would be kissing. Azriel watched as the man whispered something in your ear and you turned to face him with a light blush now coloring your cheeks and soft smile gracing your features and before he knew it he was in between the two of you.

“Don’t ever get that close to my mate again.” Azriels words were thinly veiled with a promise of a threat. “Who is to say that she is your mate shadowsinger? As far as I knew you were with the middle Archeron sister. What was her name again? Ella? No…it��s Elain right?” Kolos knew that he was dancing on the edge of a fine line when it came to upsetting Azriel but he also knew that he was a warrior in his own right and could also handle his own if it came down to a fight.

It was as if you had been watching everything happen in slow motion. From Kolos complimenting you to Azriel appearing right before you and now them bickering. Snapping out from the haze you were in you grabbed Azriels arm marched him back over to the night court and demanded that Rhysand winnow you to the river house.

“What the hell were you thinking?” you yelled at your so-called mate. Without another thought you stalked up to Azriel and started pushing an accusing finger into his chest. “What made you think you had the right to do that! In front of the other courts also? Are you out of your mind?” Azriel had nothing to say, he had never seen you this mad, not even when you were yelling at him about Elain. He could see the redness creep up your neck and slowly take over your face, he watched as the rage built behind your eyes. Backing away from him you turn to look at the rest of the group and spot Elain sitting in the corner holding nyx. The person who started this all. You leveled her a glare before turning your attention back to the man who decided to play hero when it wasn’t necessary.

“Do you really think I needed you to come to my rescue like some damsel in distress? I know that this might be new news to you but I am no such thing and have never needed your rescuing, especially not now. That man you decided to threaten was Kolos, my childhood best friend for your information since you seem to think he's some sort of threat to my life. He will never be someone I need saved from. You on the other hand, well the same can’t be said for you.”

“I know you don’t need me to save you but y/n, that man could have kissed you if he had leaned forward. Please try to see that from my point of view. He may be a childhood friend of yours but you are my mate and I can’t just allow another male around you like that.” If you weren’t mad before then now you were livid. How dare he talk about someone being close enough to kiss you when the whole inner circle knew that he and Elain were doing much worse. “Let's get one thing clear, Azriel, I may be your mate but I do not want this bond. I refuse to let myself fall into a relationship where I am only wanted because the bond makes you want me. So if I want another male to kiss me then that is my decision only, you will have no input.” Once again you were face to face with Azirel, anger radiating from your very body. “You want me to look at that situation from your point of view? Ok Azriel, then let's look at you and Elain from my point of view shall we? How about all those times when she purposefully pushed herself into you or the times when she would need “extra” help with something as simple as stretching or when you two would sit and whisper to each other at family dinners. You also could have kissed her if you happened to move any closer. Plus let's not act like you two are innocent, everyone here knows what you two did behind closed doors. Oh and one last thing Azirel you do not allow who gets to be around me. You never have and you never will.”

Through the mating bond Azriel could feel your resentment not only towards him but also the situation and it was the first time the spy master could truly say he was feeling panicked. Azriel knew he had made a grave mistake but he also knew that he would have never even looked in Elains direction if he knew about the mating bond. If only you could see that he would spend the rest of his life apologizing for the pain he caused you if you would let him close enough to do so. He just had to get you to understand how sorry he was.

Rhysand could see that the situation was escalating on your part and that Azriel needed a minute to think of how to approach you so he tried to step in and help. “Y/n I know that you are upset with Azriel, but I think you need to step back from the situation and take a moment to calm down.” Rhysand may be a high lord but the pure hostility coming from you could rival his own power and deep down he knew he made a mistake interjecting.

“I need to calm down Rhysand? That's hilarious coming from you, I mean I do remember you being willing to kill Tamlin with your own bare hands for what he did to feyre. But I need to calm down? Alright.” Turning back around to deal with Azriel you found him on his knees before you. “Y/n I know that I fucked up. I know that I should have realized sooner that you had feelings for me because that is my job as spymaster to be aware of the slightest things and I am sorry that I failed to see that, but you have to understand, if I had known about the bond I would have never even looked in Elains direction. I know I can’t control who's around you but you have to understand I just want to keep you safe. And I know that Elain and I aren’t innocent but I will spend the rest of eternity making it up to you, you just have to let me.”

For a second all you could do is stare down at Azriel and feel his sorrow through the bond. And for a second you wanted to forgive him but deep down you knew that this moment would be something you could never let go, never get past. You knew that Azirel could spend the next thousand years apologizing but some part of you would never be able to fully trust him. And the realization broke your heart but you knew you also owed it to yourself to never be treated this way no matter the circumstance. A heartbeat later you knew the choice you had to make.

“Azriel, get up.” He had never heard your voice so dejected before and he knew something was wrong. “ I do not care that you were with Elain. Did it make me happy? No. but you were also with her before I knew about the bond so I guess it doesn’t matter but what does matter is that up until that point I had spent hundreds of years showing you my love with no acknowledgement ever but suddenly this “wholesome” human girl appeared ,who was afraid of fae mind you, and you were infatuated with her as if she hung the moon and the stars. What I do care about is that if it weren’t for the bond we share you would have never considered picking me instead of her, would have never looked my way. I mean hell you forgot me on the battlefield because Elain needed you.”

The inner circle watched as you took a frustrated breath in while trying to collect your emotions and they held their breaths also while waiting for you to say something else. “I have wanted a mate for as long as I knew about their existence and as much as I want to have this with you Azriel I can’t. There will always be a piece of me that can’t let this go. You could spend forever apologizing but I will never be able to fully accept it, and neither of us deserve that. I deserve to never be anything but the only choice and you deserve to be with someone who doesn’t have an ounce of resentment in their heart towards you. So no, I can’t do this.”

“Why can’t you see that I am picking you! I want you! I want this bond, I want this relationship! If this is what you want and it's what I want, why can’t we make this work? I would rather have you and you be mad at me for the pain I’ve caused you then to not have you at all. I will grovel at your feet until you see that I want this, if that's what I have to. I will do anything. Please…please just let's at least try.” Azirel had never felt so many conflicting emotions at once. Anger, heartbreak, nerves. You name it he's experiencing it waiting for your response.

“I’m…. I am so sorry Azriel. I can’t. At least not right now. I need time to process and to heal. I need time away from you and this and the whole situation. I need to find the version of me that is not the one who would do anything for an ounce of your attention. I am not saying no for forever but for now I am and for however long else I need. I won’t do anything to the bond but please don’t send me your emotions. I need to sort mine out without trying to figure out yours also. I do not know how long it will take but maybe someday in the future we can try again.”

With the permission from Thesan, Kolos winnowed to the river house to make sure you were ok and to bring you back from the night court. What he wasn’t expecting to find was Azriel on his knees before pleading for your forgiveness. He watched from afar as you explained why the mating bond couldn’t be. He disregarded Azriels form as you turned away from him and walked towards himself. Kolos wasn’t sure how you knew he was there considering you never once looked away from Azriel until you walked away but without any words needed he took your hand and winnowed away back to the dawn court to begin your healing.

Taglist: @j-pendragonx , @piceous21 , @harrystylesfan2686 , @kemillyfreitas , @naturakaashi , @kalulakunundrum , @thelov3lybookworm , @marina468 , @feyres-fireheart , @thalia-as-blog , @blurredlamplight , @wallacewillow0773638 , @inkedaztec

#azriel acotar #acotar imagine #acotar x reader #acotar x you #azriel angst #azriel fanfic #azriel imagine #azriel one shot #azriel shadowsinger #azriel x reader #azriel x you

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lqveharrington · 15 days ago

Text

Silver Roses & Fallen Snow

11: The Manipulation (series masterlist)

summary: University finally began. You and Coriolanus fall into a routine that has you wondering if he’s really trying to gain your trust back or not.

pairing: young!coriolanus snow x fem!reader

includes: awkward silences, manipulation, mentions of death, death, mentions of murder, murder, gun use, shooting someone, paranoia cursing

wc: 3.5k+

a/n: so sorry for getting this out so late, i don’t even know if people still read this 😭🤷‍♀️

Coriolanus knew that convincing Adam Lovett to let him near you again during his wife’s death anniversary was borderline manipulative, but he had already spoken to Festus about it and offered his father a generous amount of money if he backed out of the arrangement, which they did. Not all that surprising.

His intentions weren’t to date you right off the bat, he wanted to slowly gain that trust back. Coriolanus wasn’t stupid. He knew you were going to get upset over the new arrangement, but how upset could you get when you still harbored feelings for him? At least he believed you did. That one boy he would see around you threw him for a loop. What was his name again? Flynn?

Luckily, University classes finally began and he knew you had more important things to worry about rather than his own plan and his treatment of your father. Besides, he wanted to get some more information before bothering you about the whole trust thing.

The routine you and Coriolanus fell into was the first thing that felt natural to the both of you in so long. It felt like comfort despite the painful tension. He would pick you up from the manor, walk you to and from your classes, and bring you back in time for dinner. It was like the beginning of a long dance you thought was over.

“What time are your classes done today?” Coriolanus fixed the cuffs he wore and adjusted the grip he had on his textbooks. His gaze drifted over to you, watching you fiddle with your mother’s necklace.

“Four. I have to stay behind and research for a paper I’ve been assigned way too early in the school year.” You murmur and meet his eyes. For a split second, you swore you saw the old person Coriolanus was. “Is Dr. Gaul keeping you late today?”

Coriolanus checked his watch as he began to slow his walk, eventually standing in front of your classroom. He tucked a stray piece of hair behind your hair, causing your cheeks to flare in embarrassment. “No, I’ll be done by the time you are. She’s only checking my paper today.”

“Okay.” You sigh softly and look at his collarbone for the nth time this week.

The necklace he wore seemingly teased you every chance it took. You didn’t know if you were ever getting it back, and just staring at it gave you a fresh wave of calmness. There were several times you hinted to him that you wanted it back, especially with whatever arrangement he and your father conjured up behind your back. But nothing ever happened.

Coriolanus raised his brows at your gaze. He knew what you wanted, but he would use it when the time came. For now, you could have your mother’s necklace and he could keep yours. “I’ll see you later, beautiful.”

“Later, Coryo.” You murmur and part from him, only to fall into step with none other than Clemensia Dovecote. From the corner of your eye, you saw her send Coriolanus a confused look before coming over to you. “Clemmie.”

Clemensia gave you a smile before messing with her skirt, huffing at the texture. “How is it a new school and we still get tacky uniforms like from the Academy?” The dark blue and black made her recoil as if the Academy red was the only thing she liked. “Honestly…”

“It’s a new look. We actually have skirts now.” You hold your own textbooks close to your chest before taking a seat in the theatre-like room. Almost every room in the University was as big as a theatre, yet only a few students could attend every year. What a waste of money.

“Not that much of a difference.” She muttered and took her seat beside you. She took a second to recompose herself before turning to face you, eyes sparkling in interest. “How are you and Coriolanus?”

You blink at the sudden question before reaching up for your necklace, “Uhm, I don’t know. We’re okay.”

“You don’t know?” She furrowed her brows in confusion and studied you with eyes like a hawk. Clemensia knew not to pry so much, but she was there when they got together and was the main reason they eventually got together. She deemed it was also her business.

“He’s been… It seems like he’s trying too hard to gain my trust again.” You murmur and lean back into the creaking chair. You loved him for so long it was hard to not trust him. He was yours for so long that the smallest things he could do now only irked you.

Clemensia frowned, “Is that not good?”

“Something’s off about it, and I’m not sure if I’m just being paranoid or if it’s just weird not to run back into his arms after everything we went through.” You say quietly as your heart wept in your chest. All you ever wanted was Coriolanus and when he broke that trust, it was hard to get back to normality without the painful tension you both felt every time.

“Or maybe he really wants to make things right.” She spoke slowly, getting your attention back from falling deep into your mind. “Maybe?”

“Maybe.” You sigh and stare at your hands.

Clemensia had implanted a thought in your head. It followed you around the entire day like a mind bomb. So maybe Coriolanus truly was trying to make things right. However, you couldn't help but feel like something was going on. It was like a small seed of doubt was planted in the back of your mind that kept repeating that he was doing something he wasn’t supposed to do. Like he was going to do everything but that moral he had stripped away from him as a child. The same morals you had to teach him before he discarded them because he got involved in the Hunger Games. Who knew if he even had those morals still. You didn’t have the energy to teach him something he might look over any day.

“How was your day?” Coriolanus asked as you exited the library with more books than you came in with. He took the books from your arms and held them, nodding when you sent him a thankful smile.

“It was good. I got most of my work done today.” You flex your hands. The same ones itching to intertwine them with the ones next to you. “How was Gaul?”

“Horrible as always.” He muttered under his breath, somewhat terrified of being heard by the stupid birds. Even in the Capitol, he didn’t feel as safe as before.

You sigh and mess with your necklace, “I don’t understand why you still put up with her, Coriolanus.”

“It was the only way for me to get out of the Districts.” He spoke with a defensive tone, eyes hardening at old memories resurfacing. “It was the only way for me to get back.”

Choosing to stay silent, you followed the concrete path down the University campus, still playing with your necklace. Coriolanus pursed his lips and mentally cursed himself. He hated when you got quiet on him, it was one thing you kept from your childhood. He wasn’t sure if it was your own defense mechanism or not.

“What are you doing later?” He held a hand out for you as you descended the stairs, your soft hand in his. For a quick moment in time, you both felt your hearts beat louder than usual. As fast as it arrived, it left when you pulled your hand away.

You cleared your throat and felt the heat creep up your neck. “Uhm, I might go down to the gym and box with Finn. I’m not sure though.”

“I thought you were done with that?” Coriolanus’ face hardened at the mention of the other male, his free hand clenching at his side. So that’s what his name is. Finn. Coriolanus would have to visit him later. Preferably when you weren’t present and he actually had a plan for what he would do.

“Just because school started doesn’t mean I have to stop working on my form. Besides, I need to talk to him about… You know.” You wave a hand around in the hope he would get what you were insinuating.

“Right.” Coriolanus nodded and adjusted the books in his hold. “How is that going?”

You look down at your shoes and open your mouth before closing them. There wasn’t much happening, and now that you were starting school, you couldn’t put all your time and effort into your plan to avenge Sejanus. “Well, it’s been… It’s been going.”

That’s when the idea hit Coriolanus. He could hit two birds with one stone. “Well, I think I have information for you. I just have to confirm it.”

“Really? Do you actually have plausible information for me?” You ask in disbelief, eyes wide in interest. You had stopped walking and squinted at him, looking for any kind of distrust in his eyes.

He tucks another loose strand of hair behind your ear, watching you instantly melt but conceal it was a straight face. “If I can confirm it.” And from your straight face, your eyes lit up, causing him to let a small smile slide.

“Coryo, that’s amazing! If you can confirm it, then hopefully all of this wouldn’t be for nothing.” You let out a breath of relief. You were thinking about your whole plan to find out what truly happened to Sejanus and how it seemed so wrong to do. Now that Coriolanus had information that could possibly help, you could push forward. “Make sure to come and tell me, alright?”

“Of course.”

You were at Finn’s bakery, patiently waiting for Coriolanus to come by. He told you to meet him there since he had another business to attend nearby. You told him it was completely fine as you had Finn to talk to, but he wasn’t at the bakery either.

So you sat alone with a small hot chocolate and a croissant, watching the people walking by the bakery’s windows. You imagined different stories for each person. How their lives were so much better than yours. They probably didn’t grieve for the loss of the tributes or complicated relationships.

Just as you checked the time one last time, the bell above the door rang and your eyes zeroed in on Coriolanus’ blue ones. You scanned his figure and noticed that his clothes were rumpled and sweat-coated his brows.

“Did you just come back from a run?” You hand him your handkerchief.

“No, but I did gather the information for you.” He sent you a tired smile as you found interest in what he had to say. “I know someone who aided in the murder of Sejanus.”

Your heart clenched, your fingers messing with your mother’s necklace. “Who?”

“You won’t like it, beautiful. You already know him better than Sejanus did.”

Your face fell and your heart sped up. There were only a few people who Sejanus spoke to in the Capitol, you and Coriolanus were his closest. So who would… No, it couldn’t be him…

“Phineas Miller helped Sejanus’ murder,” Coriolanus murmured.

At first, all you wanted to do was cry. You wanted to cry at how much Sejanus’ death impacted you and how Finn might be involved. You didn’t believe it. Finn was nothing but caring, he had Sejanus’ word, handwritten and everything. You needed physical proof, which was something Coriolanus didn’t have.

A week after you found out about how Finn could be involved in Sejanus’ murder, you and Coriolanus decided to look around the gym for any indication and information. You knew Finn spent most of his time at the gym, so it would make sense if he hid something away at the place.

It was already close to midnight when you arrived at the place and all the lights were shut off except for the lights outside. You and Coriolanus slipped inside the gym and before you could leave his side to check the office, he placed a gun in your hands.

Stunned, you look up at him. “Coriolanus—“

“Just in case, okay? I doubt you’ll have to use it.”

You purse your lips and nod, placing your fingers on the safety as he instructed. He left for the file cabinets by the boxing ring while you entered the main office with an off feeling.

It wasn’t right to do this to one of your friends, but you had to know if Coriolanus was right. Besides, you’ve done worse. When you couldn’t find anything, you sighed and let your hand hang.

You bounded from the office feeling slightly dejected. Sure, it was wrong to snoop, but it couldn’t hurt just to make sure everything seemed okay with Finn. “Coriolanus, I checked his office! I don’t think he’s— What are you doing?”

“Oh, thank god! Y/N, this man is crazy!” Finn shouted toward you, completely ignoring what the scene looked like.

Your eyes drifted to the ground, spotting Coriolanus blocking himself from the gun being pointed at him. Furrowing your brows, you raced to Coriolanus and pulled him back., frowning when he winced.

“What the fuck happened?” You asked and looked between the two of them, eyes wide in confusion and terror.

“He tried to shoot me!” Finn screamed like a lunatic, his own eyes crazed in fear and adrenaline. “He’s playing with your mind, Y/N!”

Your heart started to beat louder and louder, “Finn, Coriolanus didn’t have a gun. He gave the gun to me.”

“What? No! No, he tried to shoot me with this gun!” He waved the gun in front of your face, making you stumble backward. “Do you think I’m lying? Do you think I’m trying to shoot your boyfriend?”

“Kinda.” You step in front of Coriolanus and help him up. “Finn…”

“No no no, do you think I did this?” He threw his arms in the arm, pointing the gun at you and Coriolanus again. “I would never violate your trust or Sejanus’. Do you really think I helped plan his murder?”

Your eyes glanced around the gym, landing on a file of papers. “What’s that?”

Finn turned his head and scoffed, “Those are your records with the gym.”

“Can I see them?” You ask before taking them out of his hands. “Thank you…”

You opened the manila file and sirens instantly went off in your head. These weren’t just your files. These were every single thing you did and the letters you sent to Sejanus. Everything related to you was in a singular folder.

“When did you get these?” You hold up the letters, tears springing to your eyes. “These belonged to Sejanus! I sent them to him when he was in the districts?”

“That wasn’t in there before, I don’t know what those are.” Finn glared at Coriolanus, pointing the gun at him again. “You’re framing me!”

”I’m not the one with a gun and screaming like a lunatic, Miller.” Coriolanus spoke slowly, stepping in front of you. He knew Finn wouldn’t shoot, but you didn’t know that with how hard you were clutching the gun he gave you. “Why don’t you just put the gun down and explain where you got this stuff on Y/N.”

“That’s not my fucking shit!” He screamed at the both of you and waved the gun around again. “I don’t know how it got in your files, but believe me, I would never violate—“

“Did you help the people from the districts commit Sejanus’ murder?” You whisper out, hand shaking as Finn shouts again in protest. This was the most riled-up you saw him, and it didn’t help that he had a gun pointed toward Coriolanus. “Finn—“

“You’re letting him manipulate you!” He let out a crazed laugh. “You believe your boyfriend’s a fucking saint? For trying to help you out with the case? You couldn’t just wait to get back to him, is that it? Because I’ve seen more restless nights of you crying over that piece of shit.”

Coriolanus looked back at you and his eyes instantly hardened at the sight of your tears. “Miller, stop it.”

“Why should I? I’m the only one being sensible right now!” He held the gun steady. “You need to get the fuck away from her before she cries more tears over you. I know who you are.”

“And what am I?” Coriolanus stepped away from you and kept eye contact with Finn.

Finn held his gaze, keeping his gun trained to follow Coriolanus. “A manipulator who would do anything to get back on top again.” He could see the shift in Coriolanus’ demeanor as he said it, keeping his distance despite the advantage. “You cheated in the games. And from what I heard, you did such a good job in making sure the peacekeepers in District Twelve. And what exactly did you do to get sent straight back to the Capitol rather than a higher district, hm?”

You listened to him, glancing at Coriolanus with wet eyes. All you knew was that he did his job and Dr. Gaul wanted to see him work for the games again. And you also knew both boys had a temper, so if one of them got too riled up, it was going to end up being a mess.

“I received perfect scores on my aptitude tests.” Coriolanus shrugged. He could feel the heat from your stare, knowing he had to play his cards right. “The general informed the higher districts and word spread back to the Capitol.”

“Are you sure?” Finn stepped around the ring. “Because usually being promoted to the Capitol means doing something so extraordinary. Let’s say, oh I don’t know, sending someone to their death. Someone who was also a peacekeeper. Someone like your supposed best friend, Sejanus Plinth.”

Your heart broke at the mention of Sejanus. Finn accusing Coriolanus only made it worse. You knew Coriolanus and Sejanus were the closest of friends, his reasoning wasn’t adding up.

“You think I sent Sejanus off to his death? He was my best friend!” Coriolanus threw his hands in the air, his tone defensive. “But you probably knew I didn’t do it. You just needed someone to throw the blame on.”

“Excuse me?”

Coriolanus let his facade fall for the smallest of seconds, a smirk decorated his bruised face. “You know a lot more than you let Y/N know. You knew about Sejanus’ plans even before she did, and how exactly did you know?”

Your fingers tightened around the gun’s handle. Coriolanus didn’t tell you anything else about Finn’s story except that he might be involved in Sejanus’ death, and he sounded like he would explain his whole life story.

He gestured toward the files, “By intercepting the mail and copying each letter. And it isn’t hard to intercept the mail when you’re district, Phineas Miller. You knew people on the inside, which gave you everything you needed to stop Sejanus before he could ruin your chances in the Capitol. You shouldn’t even be in the Capitol without the proper paperwork.”

The silence that stretched between the three of you was thick, each pair of eyes darting across the room in light of the new information. Coriolanus had ended up right back in front of you, half his body covering your view of Finn; who looked like he was going to shoot Coriolanus at the first given chance.

“You know, you really shouldn’t have said that.” Finn let out a humorless laugh and put his hands in the air. “Here I thought you were a manipulator. I mean, you are. But you’re so much more than that. You’re just so possessive over what belongs to you. You like being in control. You’re a fucking tyrant and fucking crazy.”

Your eyes instantly caught the look in Finn’s eyes and the way his hand tightened on the trigger. “Coriolanus…”

“The only reason the Hunger Games exist is because of people like you. People who think torturing others is fun.” Finn shrugged and made eye contact with Coriolanus, his eyes burning with nothing other than rage. “Well, I’d like to think I’m doing this country a favor.”

Finn pointed the gun at Coriolanus.

The gun dropped to the floor and his body, Finn’s body, dropped onto the gym floor. Blood pooled underneath him as you stared wide-eyed at him.

Your body was shaking as Coriolanus held your face in his hands, speaking to you but none of it was coming through. Coriolanus himself was bleeding from Finn’s initial bullet, but it was a graze. He was more focused on you and how you would handle everything that just happened.

“Hey, I need you to listen, beautiful.” Coriolanus looked between your eyes and tried to find anything that would tell him you were listening. “It’s not your fault, okay? We need to go and let the peacekeepers handle this. Can you do that?”

You nod but your eyes are trained on Finn’s lifeless body. His death was in your hands.

What have you done?

taglist: @peterparkerluvvbot @nathaslosthershit @springholland @psychicpuppyarcade @whodis-26 @coconut-dreamz @slytherinholland @lacysversion @perks-of-being-jojo @itzmeme @noodlesketchbook @upsidedownjill @mizuki80 @unclecrunkle @tiaamberxx @bxtchopolis @starrynightstory @namelesslosers @lugiastark @dangelnleif @aemondsb1tch @witchsbitchestime @ace-spades-1 @ordinarylokix @kookie29 @secretsicanthideanymore @angelscrime @ms-longbeach @rosieleej @alpha-mommy69 @loklaufeysonssgodess @aoi-targaryen @imaginebeingmentallystable @sighsophiia @innercreationflower @cascadingbliss @edb954 @castellandiangelo @nowitsmissing @lookclosernow @httpfandxms @goobitagoobre @vxnilla-hxrddrugs @captainbabybear @becauseseaotters @mvdhvtterxx @moonisu @boredperson120 @kuroosbby001 @dcylight-fciry (comment to be added!)

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jarofstyles · 1 year ago

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Indigo- Cobalt

Hellooooo.. Here is part 3 to indigo! Hope you enjoy tattoorry.

Warnings- tattoos, mention of needles, blood, brief mention of vomit, anxiety, you're going to want to eat harry

Check out our Patreon!

WC- 2.9k

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Y/N felt dizzy.

It wasn’t the prospect of getting a tattoo that was making her so nervous- it was the fact that Harry’s thigh was pressed right up against hers, his body angled towards her as he sketched on his ipad drawing program. He’d said he prefers pencil and paper but it was easier for this type of session to do it there. Faster. She had no input other than the fact that he smelled really fucking good and his leg was warm against her own.

She had indulged some information to him. First and foremost, she wanted a sunflower. A dainty little sunflower with a bit of shading and a longer stem that would go down a bit and twist near her wrist. Her plans for one day having a floral sleeve with her favorite flowers and the birth month flowers of her family had been shared, but she wanted to start off relatively simple with the first one. See how her body reacted, her healing time, all while leaving room if she liked it and wanted to continue with the sleeve.

Harry had been endeared and slightly impressed. It was rare that he got new clients anymore, as most were fairly covered by the time they got to him. However when he did do new clients back in the start, most didn’t have the extensive research she had done, nor the plan. He was all for going for what felt right, but Y/N had been specific and practical in her planning and it made him feel even more fond. She had taken the time to research not only the safety, but the importance of listening to artists suggestions and double checking the work.

It’d been a while since he had done a floral piece, but he was up for it. Truthfully, Y/N could have told him she wanted a rose skull with an infinity symbol in the eye socket and he would have done it for her, but he was relieved it was something that was relatively easy to perfect.

The man knew that he was a perfectionist when it came to his work. Harry didn’t do sloppy- at least not in his work. He kept clean, crisp lines and smooth shading, he did his best to keep any blowout from happening as much as he could on his own end, and he educated each client on the likelihood of the colors they chose longevity and when they’d probably need it touched up. His tattoos were for the clients, sure, but it was also a representation of his work. He was lucky enough now to have his choice on taking clients- there were plenty he turned away or handed off to other artists he thought could better suit them. His hard work had bled into the success he had wanted, leaving him the ability to be picky.

Normally he wouldn’t want to do a first time client because, well… he really didn’t like doing them. First timers didn’t know what to expect the majority of the time, they didn’t know how to sit still, they would wince and move and complain far too much for Harry to feel at his best. He wasn’t judging them, but now that he had a choice he chose to keep to people who had at least one.

Y/N was the exception to the rule.

He felt honored that she would like his art on her, a bit of that primal satisfaction that it would be his too. No one else would have touched her with the needle, no one else had a shot at marking up her pretty, soft skin. It was a privilege, especially considering their origin.

“What do we think?” He murmured, showing her the second sketch with some of her notes. She hadn’t liked the thickness of the stem originally, and Harry had agreed it had been a bit too leafy so he had taken some off. “S’a bit thinner in the stem and I did a curve at the bottom so it’ll fit with the movement of your arm.”

“Moment of my arm?” She asked curiously, hitting him with a curious gaze. Harry had been extremely patient with her thus far and it made her nervous to ask for corrections, but he had told her that it was going to be on her forever and he needed it to be exactly what she wanted.

“Mhm. Where you’re putting it… The skin moves when you rotate your arm. S’why we don't usually put straight lines there, at least I don’t unless in specific situations. We want it to run smoothly regardless of which way your arm is positioned. So adding a bit of a curve in the stem would make it look straighter when you move it.” He showed the motion on his own arm so she could have an example.

“Oh. I never would have thought of that.” She blinked, watching as his arm moved. He had quite a few tattoos, some she had never been truly able to make out. Now being up so close, she had a front row seat to the anchor on his wrist and the cross on his hand, some of the little doodles that she had been so curious about. He seemed to have different styles of work and she liked that each one seemed to differ just a bit. “How many tattoos do you think you’ve done in your career?”

The question popped into her head out of nowhere but it still remained there. She was increasingly curious as to how he had gotten started, what he did and didn’t like doing. Pure thirst for the knowledge of what went through his head. He’d been a silent shadow most of the time she’d known him, so it was interesting to purely listen to him talk.

“Erm.. I’d say a couple hundred? There are some days I only work on one, some I do none, some days I can do three to four.” He paused, placing his apple pencil down, turning slightly to look at her. Their thighs pressed further together. “When I first started, I did a lot of flash sheets of shit that wasn’t my own. Think of, like, the pinterest stuff. Little hearts and stars, stuff on my mates, myself. They had me practice a ton when I was apprenticing but it made me good.” He brushed the hair out of his face. He really needed to find his hair clip. “Was frustrated at first, because I knew I could draw and stuff, but they were making me do those tiny things for basically no money- but, y’know, It’s harder than you’d think. Especially on someone who’s moving or someone who’s giggling with a bunch of their friends that they brought.”

“Is that why there was that sign out there?” Her face broke into a little grin, remembering the hand lettered sign before you went back to the rooms. ‘No children, No drinking, No plus threes’. “I find it hard to believe that people want to bring three people into the room with them.” That was inconsiderate. One? She could understand. That made sense if you were nervous. But multiple people just made it more crowded and loud. She’d rather be alone and deal with the experience being potentially awkward rather than make herself an inconvenient client.

His scoff took her by surprise, head tipping back in amusement. “Oh, they do. They did. Now it’s limited to one person in the room and you’ve got t’be over 18. Special allowances are made sometimes, but some of the places I worked at before starting my own place had no one enforcing or making those sorts of rules. It’s just unsafe. You’d be surprised how many drunk people come in demanding ink.” It was one of his least favorite clients. Drunk people tended to squirm and vomit, you know, besides getting a permanent image inked into the skin. That’s one thing he would never do again.

“Hm. Well it seems like you’re running a great place. I saw your stuff on instagram.” Her praise made him flush slightly, feeling a tiny bit shy as she continued. “And then the articles and awards you’ve got up front. It’s massively impressive. I’m surprised you’re tattooing me if I’m honest. She said up front I had virgin skin?” A head tilt at the end of her words reminded him of a puppy.

“Well, like I said. Special occasion.” He knocked his knee against hers in a playful attempt. “Just means no ink. Nothing nasty. I usually don’t do people with no ink because they can be twitchy and I can choose the pieces I do now. Usually I do more long and involved ones but, I’m more than happy to be doing yours.” His smile was a reassurance that he was more than happy to do it.

“Are you sure?” Y/N frowned slightly, suddenly feeling a little guilty. She didn’t want him to do a tattoo he didn’t want to do, or even more so do it on her just because he felt bad about the times before. “If you don’t want to do it, I’m happy to go to another artist in your shop-”

“No, I want to do it.” His voice was fast, interrupting hers without meaning to. It had rushed out without his permission, but the ugly twisting inside his gut had started at the mention of someone else doing this. She had wanted him, had planned on him, and if he was being honest? He was a bit selfish. His art was meant to go on people like Y/N. People who appreciated the art, who appreciated the skill. Add in his big fat crush, and it was not something he was going to pass up.

“O-Okay.” Y/N smiled, looking back down at her lap. His jeans were against her leg, and she couldn't stop thinking about how warm he was. How happy she was that he had chosen to sit with her on here instead of the armchair. A giddiness bubbled in her stomach as she felt his eyes on her, a hand coming down into her field of vision and gripping her knee. Her face felt hot, looking down at the fingers that curled over. It felt like she had been shocked at first, but moved into a warm glow.

Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god.

If she was any less strong, she would have squeaked. The large hand rested there, giving her leg a squeeze before he continued to speak.

“You ready to get some ink, then?”

—-------------

“You’ve had somethin’ to eat today, right?” Harry’s voice spoke to her as she sat in the red leather seat. His back was turned to her as he opened up a few drawers, grabbing what looked to be some sort of tape, vaseline, ink caps, different wrapped needles maybe? A blue liner sat over the tray, keeping it sanitary as he placed the supplies down. There was no reason to doubt he would be, but it only furthered her comfort.

“Yeah, I had a croissant and a pastry. Coffee too.” She peeped, hoping that would be good enough in his eyes.

With the way he turned in his chair, it wasn’t. “C’mon, babe. You’ve gotta eat better than that… but I can say m’glad you didn’t have a heavy meal a few minutes ago.” That would be a nightmare if she felt the need to spew. “Nothing with protein.. If you feel like you’re getting lightheaded, like you’re going to faint? Tell me immediately. This shouldn’t be too bad, all things considered, but there's no shame in taking a break.” He really didn’t mind it. That was much preferred over someone passing out on him.

“Okay. I’ll tell you.” Her eyes widened slightly but she avoided his eyes again, instead choosing to look at his hair. He’d found his hair clip when they’d walked in, saying something about having been looking for it for ages before gathering hair at the front of his face and clipping it back out of the way. He looked fucking adorable.

Tattoos, piercings and all, he looked adorable. Y/N had always thought he was handsome, hot, even, but his little smiles and concern for her had made her feel a little floaty and giggly and she needed to contain herself.

“Good girl.” His hand squeezed her leg again before turning around on the stool to finish unwrapping supplies.

If he heard her squeak, he didn’t let her know it.

They sat in a comfortable silence, the music hooked to his phone playing at a comfortable level as he did his thing. Y/N looked at his back, admiring the broad nature, his strong shoulders and how it strained slightly against his shirt. At this point, she was nearly positive she was just being extremely thirsty over the man who had always been a faraway object of desire- even if she had thought he hated her.

“Alright.” Harry returned, voice making Y/N jump slightly. “Sorry, sorry. I’ve got the stencil.” Holding it up, he let her take a look and smiled to himself as her eyes rounded and she smiled widely. It did that weird thing to his chest as she squirmed, sitting straighter as he approached with it. “Good? We can put it on in a moment. Just got t’prep you.”

“It’s so beautiful, Harry.” Her wispy voice nearly made him fall off his chair. He wished he wasn’t so weak, wished he wasn’t such a soft heart for her, that he could be a bit more suave, but when she spoke like that, looked at him like that, said his name like that? All he wanted to do was scream.

“M’glad you think so.” He replied gently, taking his seat. “Is it okay if I touch you? I need to adjust your arm.” Touching bare skin was a limit a surprising amount of people had- himself included. He usually preferred his bed partners keeping their hands to themselves, no matter how much they wanted to trace his ink. His actual partners, he enjoyed, but people didn’t have much of a sense of boundary sometimes.

“Yeah! Yeah, of course. You can do whatever you want to me.”

Dangerous fucking words, Harry thought. He couldn’t allow his thoughts to stray at the moment, so he decided to save that sweet tone and double meaning sentence to obsess over at a later time.

It didn’t take him too long, his fingers brushing over the skin as he shaved it to make sure the canvas was clear and prepped her for the stencil. Y/N was quiet, watching his concentration. He got a cute little thing between his brows as he focused on her, making sure the stencil was straight and where she wanted before laying it and pressing down.

When he peeled it away, she audibly gasped. “This is perfect.” Her voice went up in pitch. “It’s better than I imagined, H. Really. I love it.” Speaking like the ink was already in her skin, he flushed again as he placed the paper into the tray.

“You sure? Placement’s good?”

“Perfect. I like it right here.” She nodded, eyes not leaving the blue stain.

“Okay. We’re going to get started then, okay?” He pulled on a pair of fresh gloves, scooting himself and the station a bit closer to her. “We’re starting with the outlining, then we move to shading. It’s gonna be uncomfortable, mostly when I have to go over the lines again but we aren’t going to be too close to bone so It shouldn't be terrible.” He was doing his job now to mentally prepare her. “You can tell me if you need the bathroom or if you need to move at all. Everyone’s pain thresholds are different. Don’t feel embarrassed. I’m sure as hell not going to judge you.” His smile was reassuring as she looked a little nervous, but more so the excited type. It was easy to tell.

“I will tell you. Do you need me to stay quiet when you're tattooing? To keep focus? I don’t want to distract you.” Y/N questioned, big eyes looking at him with curiosity.

Anyone else? Anyone else in the entire world, he would tell them yes. He preferred a quiet environment to work, to get into the zone and truly concentrate. But there was no way in hell he was going to pass up an opportunity to hear her talk and babble. She had been so quiet around him before- rightfully so, considering she thought he would tell her to shut up- but he ached to just get a little bit closer. That yearning of his soft heart was pulsing, wishing to get to know her more. His brain was telling him to relax and be logical, but they both knew who would win out.

“Absolutely not, Sunflower. Chatter away.”

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classypauli · 9 months ago

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She’s the Man

Pairing: Jenna Ortega x fem Reader

A/N: Hi! So as some of you may know this is the last chapter. I was fighting the words and all the options of how this should end. Biggest thank you to all the people who read it and liked it, I appreciate every reblog and comment you guys are awesome and I love to talk to you! Hopefully, you’ll like it…Happy reading 🤍

Warning: gram mistakes, spelling errors

Word count: 2.6k

Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5

Chapter 6 - Epilogue

Mason was mad, no he was furious. The game started well, but now it was horrible. Your team lost 4:3 but he wasn´t even mad about it. He was more angry about your injury. It happened too fast and no one could expect it. The player who slid you down was sorry about it, and immediately apologized.

They don´t know what happened to you. After you fell on the ground you touched your knee, wincing a bit and then your head just fell. The paramedics said that you passed out. It was probably from dehydration. You barely drank that day. After the game, Mason, Hunter, and Georgie wanted to go to see you. You were in the hospital, still getting checked by doctors.

The boy noticed that Jenna wasn´t there throughout the game, which was strange. She was there always, even every practice. Your bond was strong. Mason was thinking that maybe she had something more important to do but at least, she should know what happened. That´s why before he wanted to go to see you, he went to a girl´s dorm.

„Hi“ she shot him a questionable look. Did you get him to persuade her to talk with you? She wasn´t in the mood right now. She felt sad and hopeless just thinking about you.

„Look if you came here to convince me-“

Mason cut her off with a rushed tone „Jenna she is in the hospital.“ In the hospital? Jenna´s heart skipped the beat. Who was in the hospital? Her thoughts went to Gideon and Emma, did something happen to them?

„Mason, what are you talking about? Who is in the hospital?“

The boy stopped, she didn´t know about it! Oh God, he completely forgot, if he says it to her and you find out what he did, you will end him. Now isn´t even the time to explain.

Y/N told him the truth before the game started, it was a lot to process, almost couldn´t believe you. You punched him in the shoulder for him wanting the proof of you being a girl. You were so believable but if he kept thinking about it, there was always something different about you.

„Charlie! One of the players tackled him to the ground- he passed out!“

Jenna´s body twitched. Her body moved on autopilot, taking her phone and keys, and running out of the dorm with Mason by her side. They came into the hospital and in the hallway, there was sitting a boy. Jenna looked better and realized he looked like Charlie- what?

The girl turned to Mason with an angry expression written on her face. „So that was your plan huh?!“ she turned around wanting to go away but he stopped her.

„Please you need to listen-“

„No, I won´t! I can´t believe you right now!“ Jenna wanted to continue but someone beat her up to it.

„Is there a problem?“ she turned around to answer but was met with a boy who looked almost exactly like Charlie. She could see a couple of small differences, like the shade of eye color or the shape of nose and lips, these were the most visible differences. This wasn´t Charlie, it just looked a lot like him.

„Who are you?“ Jenna asked the boy in front of her with confused eyebrows.

He looked at her, looking up and down at her then at Mason behind her. „I´m Charlie, who are you?“

Now she felt like she was dreaming. Her body got stuck and was trying to process the new information. Was he trying to make fun of her? Did she look that stupid?

„What are you-“

„Jenna he is telling the truth.“ Mason was heard from behind her, keeping her from running away from there.

„Oh so you are Jenna?“ the boy now looked at her with an angry expression on his face „Yeah I heard about you.“ He kept looking at her without blinking as if he was challenging her. He heard about her from who? She had too many questions.

„Babe!“ All three of them turned around to the voice. It was a girl who was running to them. Before anyone could say anything Charlie went to her and hugged her.

„I tried to come as soon as I could, the traffic was horrible.“ She breathed out and looked at Charlie „How´s Y/N? Is she okay?“ Charlie shook his head at his girlfriend „I don´t know yet, didn´t seen her since.“

Jenna scanned the girl, her blonde hair and voice was familiar to her, she saw her somewhere already. Oh. OH. Jenna´s eyes widen at the couple. Now the position in which they are standing is too familiar. Charlie looked exactly as you did from behind. Even the same names. She kept scanning the boy a little longer, you are family, there´s no way you would look that much alike, but that means...

„Well here is your patient.“ The doctor walked out of the room, opening the door for you. You came out with crutches under your armpits, looking down at where you were going. Your brother rushed to your side immediately, supporting you softly.

„Are you okay? Does it hurt? What happened doctor?“ he kept asking and you slowly rolled your eyes at him, it was so embarrassing like you were some kid who couldn´t take care of themself.

„Well, she has a torn meniscus in her knee. Thankfully it was not torn completely but she needs to be careful. If she won´t heal it fully and something like this happens again, it can have much worse consequences which can lead to operation.“ Charlie nodded at the doctor's words. They gave you pills and said that you need to rest for a couple of weeks, well that wasn´t the greatest news to you. It meant if you weren´t careful enough, you can´t play football anymore.

„Hey you okay?“ Y/N looked up at the Mason. „I was worried about you, the whole team was.“ He slowly led you to a couple of chairs that were there.

„Yeah.“ She looked down at her bandaged knee „It hurts a little but it will be okay.“ She smiled awkwardly with thin-lined lips. Y/N shot her gaze behind Mason´s shoulder. The girl´s body stopped. What is she doing here? Did Mason tell her? As if he could read your mind he looked at you.

„No, you don´t have to worry.“ The boy shook his head before he leaned into her slightly „But you should talk, I think there was a big misunderstanding between you two.“ He whispered and stood up to walk down the hallway „I´ll bring you guys some coffee!“

Y/N breathed out, and there it goes. She could already see Jenna slowly walking to her, when she was close enough she looked at the other girl.

Jenna kept scanning you, up and down. Now when you were sitting there, in the hospital, you looked so valuable. She now saw the true you, not the one you were claiming to be.

„Can I?“ she mentioned at the seat beside Y/N.

Y/N nodded as she was still looking at her injured knee. Her arms were crossed and her mind became empty. She was nervous around Jenna, she was nervous before but now, it was much worse and not that good stress. Y/N was afraid of what she would say, last time they saw each other Jenna told her she didn´t want to see her ever again and now she is sitting beside her. Who´s supposed to understand?

„I´m glad you´re okay, even though you could got out of the match without injury-“

„Jenna, what do you want?“

She looked at you with her soft brown eyes. Now she understands. She knows. At first, she was confused but now as she saw the original Charlie and that you looked almost the same, she knew.

But what haunts her are the words she told you. After she saw Charlie kissing the girl. It wasn´t you. Oh God, she told you she doesn´t want to see you ever again. You looked too broken, she felt ashamed of herself for jumping into conclusions so fast.

„Look...“ Y/N started „I- I understand that you don´t want to talk to me anymore... I mean... if someone lied to me our whole friendship I would be offended too...“ She bit her lip while looking down at her hands.

„I understand that you are disgusted by me being a girl- I mean of course you thought I was a guy and if you want we can completely forget about it-“

„Wait, what?“ Jenna was now confused. „Why would I be disgusted?“ she asked looking at you, the dots connected „You thought I didn´t want to see you because I found out you aren´t Charlie?“ the brown-eyed girl asked softly reaching for Y/N´s hand in her lap.

„Well, yeah... that was the reason, wasn´t it?“

„No!“ Jenna whispered and yelled at you, looking sadly at your side profile, while pushing some of the fallen hair behind your ear. „Oh my God, that would never be a reason! I don´t care about your gender...“

Y/N now looked at the girl beside her, confused by her words. „No? Then why? What was the reason?“

Jenna was embarrassed, the one she saw kissing the girl was him, it wasn´t you. She yelled at you the things she didn´t mean. The girl sighed now looking into her lap.

„That day I was in the cafeteria waiting for Emma...“ Her voice got quieter and you could barely hear her „And suddenly I heard someone calling his name, I thought it was you because you know-„ she motioned with her eyes at him and back at you „he kissed the girl who´s standing next to him- and- well I thought that was you! I was so sad it felt like someone ripped my heart out of my chest and now I feel so stupid- you wanted to talk to me and I got defensive and I didn´t even let you talk!“

Jenna was now so desperately explaining herself and her actions, motioning with her hands all around you as you only watched her with a small smile.

„Hey hey it´s okay... really I´m not mad.“ You pulled her closer to you, hugging her with one arm „I could never be mad at you.“ You whispered into her hair and she put her arms around you.

„I´m so glad that wasn´t you.“ a mumbled voice was heard from your torso, you laughed at her and she punched you slightly in your shoulder, pulling her face from your shaking chest „Don´t laugh! It wasn´t funny to me!“

„Okay, okay, sorry...“ you rubbed your shoulder „Don´t have to be aggressive, I have an injury if you forgot.“

„Oh please, I can see you´re absolutely fine.“ The brown-eyed girl teased you and stood up. Pulling you slowly by your arms up and handing you the crutches „Come on you patient.“

You pushed breath out of your lungs from the sudden move, keeping yourself up, wincing softly at the sudden movement with your knee „Y/N.“

Jenna looked questionable at you, waiting for explain „My name´s Y/N.“

The shorter girl smiled slowly, her dimples now visible on her face. Yeah, she knew there was something different about you. Was she expecting this? No. But now when she knows, everything makes sense.

Y/N... yeah, this name suits you a lot more. She likes it better.

Charlie said goodbye to your doctor and walked after you with his girlfriend. Jenna was the whole time by your side, making sure you won´t fall and injure yourself even more. Your brother was now smiling at the image in front of him. Mason met them at the entrance of the hospital, holding coffees in his hands, also smiling at the two of you, feeling happy that you were finally fine.

„Y/N“a muffled voice was heard.

„Y/N“ a little louder.

„Y/N!“ you now fully woke up as you got hit by a pillow right in the face. You sighed and turned to your roommate and her annoyed face. „Your phone has been ringing since forever!“ You let out a groan as you reach the table by your bed. The sudden brightness of your phone made you squint your eyes.

A couple of weeks went by and everything was back to normal... as it used to be. About your impersonating knew only a couple of people and explaining it to them was definitely hard, no one was expecting this, and it felt unbelievable. But everyone said the same thing, that there was always something about you that made you different.

After that, Y/N continued studying in the same school, but now as herself. She got a new roommate and everything was great. She slowly started to train again, but only really slightly. The taller girl felt a lot better and she felt like she was finally ready to run around the field again. Jenna of course felt otherwise.

Charlie: u up?

Charlie: heyyy

Charlie: don´t tell me u still asleep

3x missed calls from Charlie

Charlie: Jenna will ky

Charlie: not kiss

Y/N sit up in her bed and looked at the time with wide eyes, well shit, they overslept.

„Mikey get up! The class already started!“ She rushed to the bathroom and in the process slammed her little finger against the corner of the bed which made her curse under her breath. Her roommate, despite being too lazy to move, couldn´t let this opportunity slide so she let out a laugh at Y/N´s clumsiness.

She ran out and saw Mikey in the same position as before. „Oh you can´t be- Get up!“ uncovering her was clearly a good idea as she now stood up, hair covering her whole face.

They quickly changed and rushed to the class, the professor was already there and looked at them with a little shake of the head as they scanned their rumpled uniforms. Quickly finding seats at the back of the class, Y/N saw her brother on the way to her seat, laughing softly to himself, covering his face with his hands.

„This is so awkward...“ Mikey whispered harshly as she was trying to fix her tie. Both girls scanned the class and caught the brown eyes shooting them a scolding look. Y/N already knows what is waiting for her and she is not excited one bit.

Jenna, Charlie, Mason, and Emma were waiting outside of the class for the two girls. Jenna had crossed her arms at her chest and was leaning on her leg with unimpressed eyes. The other three were laughing quietly as Y/N slowly came to them, making a thin-lined smile.

„Guys...“

The reason behind today´s oversleeping was that yesterday she and Mikey were up almost all night. They wanted to study for the finals, saying that they could focus better at night. They in fact study but forgot to turn on the alarm because of how exhausted they were.

„Come here.“ Jenna pushed you to her by your tie, fixing your clothes as you only stood there as a big child, looking everywhere but in her brown eyes because of how scared you were of her.

„What did I tell you?“ the girl said as she still was rectifying your collar. When you kept quiet she looked up at you into your eyes. „Huh?“

You slowly looked down at your legs, still not into her eyes. „Don´t stay up for too long...“ you whispered. She touched your face and made you look at her. Despite her being a little bit mad at you, not really Jenna just wanted you to realize that staying up for too long isn´t good for you, she grabbed you carefully not to hurt you somehow.

You told her how you used to have a problem with sleep and sometimes stayed up even for a couple of days. Your bond with Jenna became a lot stronger, she was with you your whole recovery. Through your shared classes she was by your side, when you had free time she was with you, even on weekends you were sleeping in her dorm or the other way around.

Communication was something that wasn´t a problem in your relationship. It felt strange because you used to always feel like talking was your biggest problem but not with Jenna. She knew almost everything about you now and she didn´t even have to ask. You trusted her.

„And what did you do?“ she raised eyebrows at you.

„I know... I´m sorry we lost track of time.“

She breathed out and kissed your forehead, taking your hand while interlocking your fingers together, softly pulling you to your next class. The squad is still beside you, now smirking. You rolled your eyes at your brother as he made a kissy face to tease you.

Y/N was now walking out of her dorm room, bag around her shoulder. She was still part of the football team, it wasn´t weird to the other guys, they were glad they had Y/N on the team and were now much more protective over her.

„Y/N!“ She heard from the back, signalizing free team-mate. They were playing against each other. She pushed the ball behind her with her heel as Mason was running to her from the front trying to block and take the ball from her.

He couldn´t stop himself because of how fast he was running, making you fall onto the soft grass. All the boys started to yell at him he quickly stopped up and helped you on you up.

„Y/N I´m sorry! I couldn´t stop! Are you okay? Aren´t you hurt?“ he was asking as he was checking you from head to toe, looking for any sort of injury. You only laughed and shook your head at him saying that it was okay.

„Hey! What was that!“ Y/N and Mason turned to the tribune where the voice was heard from. The doe-eyed girl was standing there with her hands on her hips looking at them.

„I´m sorry! It won´t happen again!“ The girl nodded at his words now sitting down in her seat. Mason turned to you and smirked. „Overprotective girlfriend I see.“

Y/N smacked him on the shoulder, smiling at him „Shut up.“ She brushed her legs and looked at the girl, their eyes met, and smiled at each other. Jenna waved at her with one hand and then supported her head with both hands resting on her knees, still smiling at you.

It was like this every practice, as it used to be. She watches your every training and also every match, supports you, and motivates you. Even through your healing journey, she helped you with rest and recovery. Jenna was so cute, when you watched TV she supported your leg with some random pillow, making sure you weren´t hurt or uncomfortable, handing you everything you wanted. She was also feeding you... even though your hands were okay.

Now you were walking out of the practice, still wearing your jersey, bag in your hand. Jenna was waiting for you by the gateway of the field.

„Hey.“ She greeted you with a smile as she put her hands around your neck, slowly pecking your lips. „Ready to go?“ you nodded grabbing her with your free hand.

You got together after like a week of your injury. She didn´t think of you any differently and every time someone mentioned the incident you only laughed. This will be a funny story to tell your kids. And with Jenna by your side, you couldn´t be more excited.

„Any plans for today?“ You asked your girlfriend looking down at her.

„I was thinking that maybe we could hang out with the squad, they said they don´t have anything tomorrow.“ She looked up at you waiting for your answer. You caught her eyes and became mesmerized.

The simplest moments like this made you fall for her even deeper. Her big brown eyes stared up at yours, dimples by the sides of her red lips, brown hair decorating her face, and those freckles. In the golden rays of the sun shooting at her profile, she looked almost unbelievable. You couldn´t believe she was yours.

„Why are you looking at me like that?“ Jenna smiled at you in a teasing way, sparks started to form in her eyes.

„I just... I love you.“ You softly admitted to her. She now had small tears in her doe eyes as she was still gazing at you with dilated pupils as if you were the most beautiful thing she had ever seen.

„I love you too.“

• @poisonlove :) •

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