#I feel this so fucking hard
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Note
Polyfrag culture is having to fight for your life trying to correct misinfo about polyfragmentation from those who think it’s just being a large system and not about the structure.
.
#polyfrag culture is#c did#cdd#cdid#complex dissociative disorder#complex dissociative identity disorder#did#dissociative identity disorder#polyfrag#polyfrag system#polyfragmented#polyfragmented system#polyfragmented did#i feel this so fucking hard#❓
43 notes
·
View notes
Text
she's singing in another room and my dog is asleep at my feet. my grandma asked me why i haven't found a man yet and i laughed. oh, you know. i like my house clean.
my girlfriend is also my man is also "my partner" if i'm in a professional setting. yesterday we went to a ren faire and a man mimed at me - you're together? and at my delighted nod, his baffled, you're gay? made me laugh. a woman with rainbow hair said i love the two of you together. you're both so beautiful it's absurd.
my dad introduced my partner as my "..... friend. or whatever" the other day. he knows we're dating. in the same way, i was never able to get my sister's husband to stop saying that's gay like it's 2008. he still uses the word fa***t, and my sister's defense of him has always been well, he's just kidding.
my lover and i dance to old music in a tiny kitchen. we judge new music together and take food critique very seriously. we watch love is blind before we fall asleep and agree that if they had a queer season, it would be bloody but also make for excellent tv. of fucking course queer people would know someone for only 2 weeks and agree to get married. what are you saying.
at a bar with friends, a man puts his hand on my wrist. got a boyfriend? and yes, i do have a boyfriend, she's amazing. i am texting her while i wander around a gas station named after geese. i am visiting a swing state for a wedding. in the candy aisle i overhear: she's actually like a lesbian it's disgusting. two teenage girls with packaged sandwiches in their hands, giggling. no literally, like. i'm not, like. okay with her being there while we're all, like, naked and changing.
my girlfriend and i tailgate, drink gin and cider out of cups. from the frat group beside us, a man corrects himself with one of his friends: bro, i mean, nonbinary entity, and it makes everyone around him laugh, myself included. he razzes his friend the same way i would have killed for at 19 years old - like nothing happened, he continues: you apply sunscreen like an alien. he does a little sassy (and fairly accurate) dance interpretation of the motion. his friend is laughing so hard they're crying.
i am lucky, i live in a safe neighborhood in a safe state. my masc passenger princess comes up from DC. i drive her for an hour to where all the leaves are a violent arrangement of color. we walk along the trails, letting autumn into our blood. in this part of the state, there's a lot of pickup trucks and trump signs. when we chastely kiss before getting into the car, i accidentally make eye contact with a woman holding her child's wrist. she looks disgusted. she looks fucking pissed.
two hours later my girl and i are eating dinner on a patio, soaking in the last warmth of new england sun before the chill of winter sets in. we are giggling and trying to talk through plastic vampire teeth. at another table, i see a young woman sit up straighter. i watch her watch us. she blushes and takes her partner's hand from across the table. shy, like the taste of evening has just become something deeper.
it's worth it for this moment, i think. my lover is still humming the same song she's been singing for four days straight and i don't want to kill her for it. her guitar is beside my bed. her toothbrush is in my bathroom. in a few moments i will make us lunch. we are lucky enough to have found each other. it is lucky enough to be in love.
#writeblr#wlw#i often think about like.....#being happy in a gay relationship is sometimes so odd#bc u can forget how stupid ppl are.#bc ur so USED to being gay. and u forget other people GENUINELY ARE homophobic#so it's like. girl pardon?????#but also there are moments where it's like. ohhh the kids are alright#like watching someone razz someone else.... so fucking wholesome#“lemme get this bitche's pronouns before i make gentle fun of them” .... i would have KILLED for that.#THAT is how u know ur accepted#not just tolerated#..... when ppl are like. sure ur nonbinary congrats but WHAT is this fucking sunscreen application#ps idk if "razz'' is a real word but someone asked what it means -#i've always heard it as being a term for 'gentle & friendly teasing'' which like#i personally notice more from my guy friends but is like - when a person isn't#LIKE ACTUALLY teasing u (it's nothing personal/mean) they're just laughing w/you about something#my friends often put on a little voice and call me an anemic little bitch#like 'ooooo the anemic little bitch is cold??? does she need a mouse blanket#bc she's SOOOO SMALL AND ANEMIC???''#and it doesn't hurt my feelings (it makes me laugh very hard) bc 1. i actually called MYSELF that first#and 2. i'm not sensitive about it!!!#a proper razz is when you are ALSO in on the joke - i ALSO think it's funny#for some people i personally find that when they razz u it's when they love u -#they've noticed something genuine about u and love u enough that u know they're not being mean#this is cultural and personality based of course but i'm hispanic#if someone isn't making fun of me it means they hate me . obviously.
18K notes
·
View notes
Text
MWAH!
#if you're cold they're cold. Let them in#project sekai#pjsk#prsk#emu otori#proseka#tsukasa tenma#nene kusanagi#rui kamishiro#wxs#wonderlands x showtime#scopophobia#monitoring goes hard. had to get this outof my system#congrats deco27 for releasing a new song that sounds like a new song[TRAIN PASSES OVERHEAD]#Well my most esteemed oomfs have agreed with me so idc. his discography has been looking up since hao though. i like hao. ^_^#Hi everynyan i got my fucking wisdom teeth out last week i AUUUUGH. FUUUUUCK. MY LIFE#Its fjne. Its fine its whatever. Tch. Tch.#I;m feeling the end of semester crunch something crazy i also have a cosplay to make in less than 2 months i havent started#emunene revstar art keeps me going#I NEED TO POST STUFF TO BSKY FIRST BC I WRITE THE ALT TEXT THERE AND THEN GO OH FUCK I DIDNT PUT IT ON TMBLR OT TWT. And u cant fucking#edit alt text onto stupid tweets because that app fucking sucks. GOD DAMNIT
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
zero respect when people get all "oh nooooo i sure hope this post doesn't get a zillion noootes teehee, stop reblogging I can't have this be what people remember me for 🥺🤭" all coy and shit when the option to disable reblogs is right there. strangle that post in its crib to prove you're not a poser.
#i stand behind this so fucking hard and op was right to say it#i hope this post gets a billion notes so that all those losers see it and feel ashamed
10K notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d2e3fb8b4d85d9c12076bbf05ce7ee88/7a1348344c9e8025-25/s540x810/68618bf0a42fb12e0046ea56b550a852bdaf65bf.jpg)
You're sacred and they're starved And there you are to tear apart
#sam winchester the boy you are……#idk if i want cry my eyes out about him or squeeze him so hard-#rewatching spn finally feel like home again after 10 fucking years#sam winchester#supernatural#spn fanart#spnfandom#my art🌟
4K notes
·
View notes
Text
i think its so funny when people take the way donnie acts at face value even though its a horrible lie because he's a horrible liar, while understanding leo is bullshitting very well despite him actually being GOOD at bullshitting. many such cases
#personal#rottmnt#although tbf its probably because with leo its unpacked more thoroughly in the movie#donnie is not a morally ambiguous emotionally unavailable bad boy. he is very sensitive actually#he's a little crybaby /aff#and like this isnt hidden. he isnt SECRETLY sensitive or secretly caring its very out in the open actually#he's not hiding it well AT ALL AND THEY ALL KNOW IT LMAOOOOOOOO#i think donnie's perception of himself is somewhat earnest and somewhat. not? he DEFINITELY thinks he's more evil than he actually is#BGHFHDHGJFHG#i think what causes him to lash out and struggle to communicate is his inability to articulate his feelings#they are just too big for him. like its the exact opposite of robotic#he cant force himself to give a fuck but when he DOES its too much#so he yells and lashes out or he shuts down completely#honestly i think the perception of him being too sensitive being a problem makes way more sense than the perception of him being 'robotic'#when it comes to struggles in how his family sees him at least#even in little ways you can see him take it pretty personally when he's insulted#he struggles to blow things off#and i think it would also explain his tendency to like. visibly calm himself down when he gets upset? its a thing he does a lot in the show#he desperately wants to destroy that perception of him because he's trying so hard to close himself off#he doesn't want to be the sensitive one that cant take anything. it especially works in line with his shell#it was a big inspiration for canary continuity tbh. donnie should struggle with being the sensitive one in fic more#mikey is more empathetic and he's more emotional but donnie's quicker to feel offended or take things personally#BACKED UP HEAVILY BY CANON#that 'you can be honest with me! no hard feelings' - 'he's lyinggggggg'#like he's not upset with them babying him as much as he is with them genuinely finding it frustrating that he can fall behind like that#and just cannot take shit like that. so he tries to pull back and not seem as affected as he is#theyre a very cuddly family but mind you they can be actually mean to each other like that!!
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
on a completely separate note; shizun luo binghe with a disciple shen yuan who fell into the abyss??? *thinks about LBH canonically stealing SQQ's corpse for 5 years* he'd hallucinate i think. like, like visual and audial hallucinations.
Keeps thinking he's seeing SQQ in the corner of his eyes, or wandering between the trees, amongst a group of disciples. Thinks he hears him calling for him, but its just the wind or another disciple.
Gets Xiu Ya reforged but patently fucking refuses to make a sword mound. Because his disciple Is Not Dead :))) There was No Body. He's Not Dead. And If You keep Insisting That He Is, He's Gonna Skewer You :). He's holding onto Xiu Ya so he can return his most favored disciple's sword when he returns. It's on his hip right next to Zheng Yang where it's supposed to be.
Also this motherfucker?? does not sleep btw. He has the image of SQQ, wide eyed and hysterical and standing at the mouth of the abyss burned into his fucking eyelids. Can't use the dreamscape to escape it either because he keeps trying to save him and either he does and it's an incredibly cruel trick to wake up to, or he doesn't and he gets his heart broken in several different pieces again.
There is no convincing this man that Shen Qingqiu is dead. Absolutely nothing at all. He is buried so deep in denial that moles would be jealous of how deep he is. He keeps making tea for two in the bamboo house only to remember that it's just him. SQQ's fans are hiding everywhere, little reminders of his presence. He goes to wake up SQQ on the mornings he sleeps in-- only to find the room empty.
#svsss#luo binghe#svsss au#scum villain#scum villian self saving system#shen yuan#shen qingqiu#disciple shen yuan#lbh. visibly exhausted and with twitchy eyes: im fine :) | everyone else: ho no the fuck you ARENT.#SQQ was hysterical not because he found out LBH was half-demon but bc he was having a long-awaited mental breakdown over his autonomy :)#or (limited) lack thereof. he was having a sudden onset crisis of mortality and was handling at quite literally the WORST time. oops#im thinking very hard that LBH would never push his disciple into the abyss especially with no system to force him to. so SQQ either#had to goad him into it (failing always) or throw himself in. he ended up doing it himself but not before some very impressive hysterics.#BUT ALSO. IF THIS HAD BEEN WHERE SQQ WAS THE HALF-HEAVENLY DEMON INSTEAD IT WOULD'VE BEEN SO GREAT.#and by great i mean horribly angsty bc SQQ is NOT doing too hot and has. in very SY-like fashion. convinced himself that LBH will kill him#when he finds out he's a demon. so when it comes out i have this mental image of him lunging at LBH and LBH flinches back. but SQQ wraps hi#hands around the blade of Zheng Yang and yanks it up so the tip of the blade is digging into his chest where is heart is. LBH can't yank th#sword away without risking slicing into SQQ's hands. SQQ's hair has fallen out of its tail/bun and is now messily spilling down his#back and its NO helping the kinda deranged look he has going on. he's visibly shaking and his eyes keep flittering away and back at LBH's#face. SQQ is looking at the messages from the system warning him that he has to go into the abyss or punishment will occur. he's like.#rambling though. talking about how shizun doesn't *like* unclean things and there is nothing more unclean than a demon. like he is#INSISTING. LBH can't?? get a fucking word in. actually. SY isn't listening that much either anyways. too overwhelmed with the system and#the amount of stress he's under and his crumbling mental state and the innate and primal desire to live even when he's standing in front of#his own executioner. it all ends with him sitting on the ground at the lip of the abyss with his hair falling in his face. he looks so#unkempt and fallen apart and so distinctly *non-Shen Qingqiu* that LBH feels physically ill over it. tears are streaming down SQQ's face#and despite everything he is smiling. its not a nice smile. its a very frayed falling apart at the seams about to crack smile.#he tells shizun not to worry about staining his blade with this disciple's filthy blood because this disciple will take care of it himself.#and then he falls into the abyss before luo binghe can so much as grab him. the only reason LBh doesn't literally jump in after him is bc#he was numb with shock and the abyss was already closed before he could feel his legs again :]
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
if you havent read my wife's gf fanfic WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!
(no sound)
#gravity falls#billford#gf theseus' guide#bill cipher#stanley pines#stanford pines#mabel pines#dipper pines#m.png#love having secret spoiler knowledge so i know whats on mabels sweater#4 hard years of learning storyboarding in college and the first animatic i make in the YEARS since i graduated....... is for a gf fic#who would have seen this coming... not me.... but then who would have thought my wife was a FUCKING GENIUS#if ur still not sold. my brother in laws review of the fic is 'it feels like im watching an episode of gravity falls'#and i gotta agree. the tone and characters are fucking nailed the whole way through#and chapter 7 makes me cry 👍
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
a redraw of the first drawing i posted here to celebrate the fact that ive been in tumblr for more than a whole year posting my shit and havent deleted my blog in panic yippee \:D/ (mushy rant in tags)
#i realised too late that it has been more than a fuking year (august 9)#and for context: ive had 3 different intagram art accounts and i deleted all 3 of them a few months before creating them. anxiety amiright#here it has been so different bc people are so nice??? it has been a pretty plesant experience here w all of u really#im so glad to have found myself in such a wonderful part of the fandom and amazing mutuals that i never talk to bc im shit w texting#the atention has been overwhelming ngl. i have over 2000 followers which. holy fuck???#it doesnt feel like a real number and for my own sake im nnot gonna treat it as one#like i apreciate the support and ppl liking what i do but im not here to make number go big yk? im here to connect w other humans#and yall have been amazing humans ^^ thank u for all the wonderful tags and comments and the support overall#it has been so cool sharing my art and finding other artist whom i respect oh so very much. some of them even follow me back wtf#i hope to continue being here for as long as i can and keep growing as an artist and sharing that process with other without fear#also my amy redesign actually goes so hard idk why i forgot about it nxnfbcncb#sth#sonic fanart#sonic#amy rose#nov.aart#nov.junk
2K notes
·
View notes
Text
friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
7K notes
·
View notes
Text
"in my arms lies eternity"
you too, dear reader, can make veilguard into an elgarook enemies to lovers story if you think hard enough 😌
#(based on the kiss by gustav klimt ofc)#my art#dragon age#dragon age the veilguard#elgarook#elgar'nan#rook#faolan de riva#this is my first ship art literally EVER so i'm feeling shy but im literally on fucking tumblr rn so idk why i care#anyway this started as a corruption au months ago... but after the game i've fixated so hard on this that i'm not sure it's an au anymore#what can i say- i love a good corruption arc. and doomed gays. and i also love elves. especially evil ones
940 notes
·
View notes
Text
going insane thinking about the harrow and palamedes friendship. harrow, who has never met another necromancer her age forming a bizarro 3D chess rivalry while pal worries about her safety at every possible turn. harrow, who is up to her eyebrows in paranoia and secrecy, trusting the sixth house with gideon unconscious and hurt, letting them into the ninth house quarters unsupervised. if “i cannot conceive of a universe without you in it” is goth for i love you, “death first to vultures and scavengers” has got to be goth for i love you (platonic). pal’s first reaction when harrow comes into his bubble in the river is to scoop her up in a hug, and at this point she doesn’t remember anything about him because cutting out all her memories of gideon is impossible without cutting out memories of the sixth, but she still makes him a skelehand to inhabit anyway. when harrow’s memories are finally whole, she tells dulcinea she couldn’t face pal knowing that his pen pal girlfriend died on her account, but the next time she “faces” him, palamades’s soul is in someone else’s body and harrow’s body is full of nona’s soul. he spends six months protecting and caring for harrow’s body (and nona obv), believing in the possibility of bringing her back to it the same way cam believed in him. “god, do you know i miss harrow terribly.” and by the time harrow comes back to her body at the very end of ntn, pal is gone forever, fully pauled. the last time harrow and palamades see each other as their complete selves is in canaan house, alive and unlyctored. two of the smartest and loneliest people in the solar system meet each other in the worst of circumstances and spend the rest of the story dancing around each other as fragments of themselves, trying to care about each other in the interim but never fully meeting like they did the first time. a friendship made almost entirely of missing the other person. “do you know i miss harrow terribly.” god. i need to lie down
#behold: a block of text i do not feel like putting paragraph breaks in#i am so fucking crushed that they try so hard to take care of each other in different ways but never see each other ever again#he gave her a lift you off the floor hug in the bubble and she didnt even know why.#the thing that made him miss harrow was ‘look at me like you’ve worked out how to kill me’ bc he knows scowling is her display of affection#she couldn’t even REMEMBER him in htn but she helped camilla find his soul and put him back together anyway#is this anything. am i sounding as insane as i feel#tlt#harrowhark nonagesimus#palamedes sextus#katie don’t look#ntn spoilers#htn spoilers#gtn spoilers
5K notes
·
View notes
Text
MIC Drop (Steve Aoki Remix) — BTS, 2017
#bts#btsgif#btsedit#dailybts#usersky#annietrack#userines#*#*mv#i thought about it long and hard and decided i dont give a fuck#so this is my symbolic first post of the year#2025 will be the year of me posting whatever tf i want<3#anyway this was one of those things i tried to gif in the past but felt like i couldnt get right but now im skilled enough that i can#i tried making it back when i was giffing all their mvs but im glad i didnt post it back then#i feel like im finally getting to a point where i feel unwavering confidence in my gifs like i know these look good
831 notes
·
View notes
Text
i will never have this attitude to anything else in any part of life but i did not down monster and coffee and sit in my university library all night and experience rollercoaster level anxiety on the countdown to last submissions just so people can write their essays with chatgpt
#ramble#i know i keep saying it but god forbid you fucking try. god forbid you make an effort with anything in your life#what happened to the frantic typing and no spellchecking because you've got 40 minutes left and the bibliography isn't done#what happened to scribbling the conclusion as the teacher was literally walking around the room collecting papers#i hated every minute of it but submitting my dissertation was the greatest day of my life at the time. bc i worked so fucking hard#i hate 'suffer like i suffered' in EVERYTHING else except for this. sometimes shit is hard work. if you want a skill you fucking work#i am going to assume if you use generative ai that you don't care. and i don't fucking trust you#and i don't care about anything that you couldn't be bothered to make yourself#fun fact: if i hadn't started tattooing i would've done a masters and been a lecturer!#and i'm glad i didn't because honestly idk if i'm above screaming at teenagers for things like this#i feel the same way about ai 'art' because like. you didn't earn it. you didn't try#writing is hard and drawing is hard but you learn so much!!! and i hate that people can't see that the point is the process of it all#the love is in the labour
507 notes
·
View notes
Text
I was planning on practicing drawing Soap's face (for the billionth time) and it turned into this silly little comic
#call of duty modern warfare 2#cod mw2#cod soap#cod ghost#cod gaz#john soap mactavish#simon ghost riley#kyle gaz garrick#cod fanart#call of duty fanart#call of duty modern warfare#fun fact this is my 200th post!#soap i love you but your face is so hard to fucking drawwwww#i feel like i never get his likeness right... and when i do feel like it i hate how it looks 2 days later#anyway. this was supposed to be a break from the other comic#leave it to me to make a comic as a break from a different more detailed comic rip
672 notes
·
View notes
Text
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/be3437c4acfc1a079bdcd63c74b5342b/89012a26246f0a79-d6/s540x810/9a52b1476d99a87d3c2e90e9e555d1c19ceb3d19.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/7d7e1709887d75f0ab8431a1fe02955b/89012a26246f0a79-fd/s540x810/f3113c7a38e31ac4161ce4b1264a1371ad00f253.jpg)
![Tumblr media](https://64.media.tumblr.com/d887e92c2971da1f294e42daa555ec08/89012a26246f0a79-4d/s540x810/1d7d88ddffa81b03f0332aac9b7ac17cbf75c6f1.jpg)
Why do they do this
#i hate hate hate HATE when people do this#asking you if you have a crush when you actuslly do and squeeing about it? cute and fun#but when i say ‘i dont like anyone here’ i mean ‘i dont like anyone here’ in THAT way#and its like. wh. they cant believe#that i dont like a single man from a group#like. yeah?? just bc People Exist doesnt mean im gonna crush on someone 100%??#why is it SO HARD FOR THEM TO BELIEVEEE UGHHH#i dont consider myself asexual but if someone does this again i might reconsider 😭#look lady my boyfriends are skeletons and robots. do you see any skeletons/robots in the group#no? thrn its 1% chance i Crush on someone#sorry its just so annoying when people do it orz#i dont like using the word bc it feels cring but p. normie behavior jjfrnjrfj#aka doodles#i trll them i dont like anyone but theyre like BUT WHOS YOUR TOP PICK#and take thst as yu trying ot hide your crush#fucking. no. i just dont#ok rant done jjffjvfnvf#something something heteronormative too much focus on romance thngy
419 notes
·
View notes