#I feel so bad for him too BC most people can't repeat it if someone says it out loud

[donuts4evry1]

Fo my friends who are children of Asian Immigrants born outside of that country:

I have a lot of Asian friends but they all only have one name as far as I know. However, children born in the third generation of my family have both an English name and Viet name (We're Canadian/US).

I'm just curious to see how widespread this practice is 🤔...

Bonus: Put your country of birth and what generation you're in in the tags :)!

I want to know for sure that this is not just something that happens in English speaking countries... Also I just wanna know if this is a generational thing or if my family just does something funny

[iz-star]

About Zayne's nightmares...

The most unrealistic thing about Zayne is that he's a functional working adult that seemingly has put his life together at 27 not because he's young or a prodigy but because he's said to have nightmares since he was 12?? Like... I feel like this theme might be a bit overlooked but just think about it deeply, having constant nightmares fucks your mind like really REALLY bad, I can genuinely say this by experience and also as someone who has had trouble to have a healthy sleeping schedule since I was at highschool (like, for example, right now, I should be sleeping instead of writing this...).

There was a time I would have nightmares almost everytime I went to sleep during a really hard time in my life. Of course, the topic about those nightmares was almost always the same, not like the nightmares repeated themselves but they always revolved about the same things that I was actually working in therapy at the moment. Back then I was jobless and medicated most part of the time, I was pretty dysfunctional.

I suppose that's why when I listened to "Fragmented Dreams" for the first time it was the time I said "Yeah, this is my man". I love how he's always nagging MC about sleeping early because I know by experience that not sleeping properly can mess up with your mind pretty bad, and probably he knows it too. It truly is a showcase of love how he worries about her sleep like that and it also showcases how strong minded he is for enduring too much stress and remind kind constantly.

I love how healthy he is. I like to think that he's overcome all the stressful stuff he's gone thru bc of his discipline and healthy life style, but realistically it would take him some more to deal with all of that.

Yes, all of the guys have been through some very rough stuff and they all need therapy, but my point with Zayne comes with the fact that not having a good sleeping schedule and on top of that having constant nightmares can mess up with your perception of reality and induce you a bad depression or other mental health issues. Everytime I remember Zayne's main story branch when they're trapped in Zayne's dream and MC leaves him alone and he starts listening to Willian, Georgie and his Mom so he has to remind himself "It's not real, it's not real" I deeply feel that and I just want to hug him so bad :(

I think I'd like to see a card where they explore the consecuences of their past in their psyche more deeply. I can't help remembering this post which was one of the first posts you unlock with Zayne:

It was there when I just knew that even if he looked quiet, he had a lot to say but didn't know how to express.

Another thing I'd like to highlight about this is that actually I love the emotional maturity that Zayne displays about dealing with such issues like nightmares, traumatic experiences and literally being exposed to see people dying 24/7 while being someone that feels a lot yet says little. He's dealt with this the best way he can, no wonder why he came to be quite serious and inexpressive or sarcastic. Not allowing himself to express other emotions than seriousness or sarcasm was like keeping himself in check so he wouldn't spill everything he feels and considering how stressing is his job already, it just makes sense, but that didn't mean Zayne didn't feel because he feels too much and too deeply and worries sick about ppl and especially about MC.

Of course, bottling up his emotions wasn't the best way to deal with them but he never used any unhealthy coping mechanism neither, like alcohol, for example (My teetotaler King ❤️) etc. Yeah, his workaholism isn't exactly healthy but not something toxic to his mind and relationships, and I've always had a feeling that he's a big foodie and addicted to sweets to give himself that boost of serotonine he needs so bad.

That's why he compares MC with sweets, being her his favorite dessert, bc she's brought all that serotonine to his life naturally and has helped him let go little by little. When he opened to her about losing Dulcie, I had a feeling that Zayne always wanted someone to listen to him but he didn't know how to ask for it and ppl around him was too afraid to even dare to suggest it. I think even in one of his anecdotes, it is said that sometimes Dr Noah wanted to tell him something but at the end ended up saying nothing.

The fact that Zayne bottled up his emotions didn't mean that he wouldn't willingly share them, he wanted to but wasn't used to it. With MC, he's slowy started to let it go and enjoy life more, allowing himself to be sad in front of her, to express his fears (about losing her) or to express his childish tantrums and indulge in his softest side. That's why also she's not only his favorite dessert but also his best painkiller ❤️

And just to finish, I've always thought this quote by Kafka fits him so well:

"Remember, you should sleep more than other people, for I sleep less than most. And I can’t think of a better place to store my unused share of universal sleep than in your beloved eyes."

[fryandleelasbigfling]

fuuuuck man, i can't stop thinking about amy's character development.

like amy's always been smart, albeit ditzy, but she operates largely on rebelling against what her parents want from her. she does not want to be a living uterus to make heirs and money for her shitty folks. she parties and sleeps around and generally still acts like a sorority girl because she values freedom.

and it's funny bc her parents introduce her to kif, but kif is a new way to keep amy grounded. kif isn't a one night stand, he tries to call her back and wants to get to know her. he wants to impress her family, and neither of them care that it doesn't work because he was brave enough to try. in fact, they can probably both bond over feeling like they're unfairly tethered to people who don't see them as individuals. he loves her and wants to commit to her, and she's flattered and realizes she loves him right back beyond just dating.

and amy is... not good with emotional literacy. she says things to insult people on accident a lot, and she doesn't usually seem willing to get very personal with the crew. and when kif dies in BWABB, her mom literally tells her to get over it mere days later, and then she copes by sleeping with zapp seemingly just to bring kif back in some way. so i think this is something else she internalized from her upbringing.

so i think when kif gets pregnant, obviously she's not ready to adjust to a life of responsibility, especially given how being a mother has been held over her head as basically a command for most of her life. but she wants to be with kif, and she's willing to adapt for him. and then she gets 20 years to prepare, and given this episode, i believe she spent those 20 years talking this over with kif, working out their relationship, learning to get her mind in order and eventually be a responsible parent. they had some real hurdles (and bad writing) but i think eventually, she felt ready to commit, especially after she earned her phd. she's financially secure enough to do pretty much whatever she wants after all, and having a family with kif is what she wants next in life.

i think this all made the "biological mother" thing so much harder for her. because leela has her own traumas, but it seems like she's naturally maternal, whereas i feel like amy had to really work for it. and she's worried that simply being exhausted is enough to make her a bad mom, and takes that out on leela, even though leela is also exhausted and far from perfect. i feel like in amy's eyes, leela has always been very capable and mature, even if they don't always get along, and i can see her worrying that the kids would innately bond with leela and amy wouldn't be enough. and given she outright acknowledges how terrible her parents are in this episode, and they reject the babies for being visibly mutant-alien, i can see her worrying she's repeating the cycle, and even though she's loving them as much as she can, she's only ever known parents who were harsh and critical, and being so openly loving is something she had to learn. (leela had to learn this too, but amy is too self-critical to realize that.)

so when amy says she loves those kids "more than [she] realized [she] could ever love anything"... i really believe that. i don't think amy knew how capable she was of expressing true love. i don't think she realized that she could commit to someone and not just fulfill her parents' degrading wishes for her. this isn't about her parents, this is about her and kif and the future they made with their love.

and by god, she's gonna be a good mother, and it'll be hard, but in the end, she's doing it because it feels good.

[isa-ghost]

My friend

I am gonna do it

WHAT ARE YOUR Q!PHIL HEADCANONS MY FRIEND

YESSSSSS

Here's Set 1 and Set 2

Now M O R E

He won't do it without prompting because he'll feel like an ass giving nobody else room to talk, but if someone got him on the topic of like. Exploration or flight or something, he could talk for hours. He's extremely knowledgeable and passionate about stuff like that, most times because he has centuries of experience

I don't want to diagnose cc!Phil or whatever bc I know he doesn't like when people do that, but to me his rp character is free reign. And as a psych major with ADHD who's focusing on the study of neurodivergent disorders: this man is hella ADHD coded. He's told too many personal stories that are relatable to me for me to be silent about it. I'm 🤝🏻 this crow man

In his case this isn't a nd trait but instead a crow one, but he experiences echolalia sometimes. Funny things or certain noises he hears just scratch an itch in his bird brain real good, he can't help but repeat it for a while

The way to Phil's heart is good food, fun to be around, and kicking ass. If you can tick those 3 things off for yourself, you're Phil Approved

He'll say he doesn't fall for peer pressure, and often times he's right. But on rare occasions someone like Fit or Etoiles can convince him to do smth he maybe wouldn't at first. It's easier to win him over when he's drunk

cc!Phil has talked abt how he gets a weird confidence boost when he's drunk as shit. That's real for q!Phil too. He could be staggering slurring speech drunk and still snipe something like 50 blocks away. It makes Fit and Etoiles want to kiss him about it

He has intentionally made almost his entire wardrobe varying shades of green, which he pairs with black, red & gold. He thinks it's funny to have a branded wardrobe like an anime character

Idr how canon dsmp is to q!Phil but he still has the friendship emerald charm hanging from his hat. Perhaps it's from the Antarctic Empire days instead. Idk, I just like the character design of Dangly Thing On Hat Brim too much to exclude it from his design in my head (I should rlly attempt to doodle my Phil beyond the random notebook ones I've done. Maybe I'll post those if asked idk)

Don't underestimate this man's ability to get dramatic. Tallulah ain't the only one in the family that can go hard

I wouldn't say he has a bad temper. He's very well-practiced at self-control. However, there are certain things that set him off so severely, he throws self-control out the window. Those things aren't worthy of him trying to be "the bigger person." They deserve their ass handed to them right here right now (see: The Codes pre-current lore).

In a similar vein, when the situation isn't one of those special Fuck This incidences, he still doesn't have a temper, but when he finally snaps, he SNAPS. Like on a The Polycule be like "mark me down as scared and horny" level of snap. When you get on the Angel of Death's last fucking nerve he let's you KNOW.

I'm self-projecting here: this fucking idiot man has a detrimental habit of insisting on handling stuff like anxiety alone. He hates when people see him without his composure. It's not even like an embarrassing thing, it's just very uncomfortable to him. So when a panic attack hits or he finally concedes and let's himself cry, it's alone. And sometimes that makes it worse. But even that doesn't make him change his mind. "Keep it together for the kids," right? :')

Having a stroke about thunderstorms is a reflex. Even on Quesadilla Island, the second he hears thunder he reaches for a trident like a dork.

He near-obsessively preens his wings because he doesn't want the Federation, or anyone else for that matter, getting ahold of his feathers when they shed. He doesn't know wtf they could do with those and he doesn't wanna find out.

And yet somehow Missa and Lullah both have a couple feathers that he's shed and he has no idea. Lullah wants to make a necklace out of them.

[tenyrasims]

Red Emoji OC Asks ❤️‍🩹

🐞, 🎸and ❤️ for Kiyoshi.

🥩, ❗️ for Aidan

and

🌹, 💔 and 🎈for Ashina

Pls 😎

Uh thats a lot 😂 ok, lets start~

🐞 - What does a perfect day look like for your oc? What do they do? Who do they see? ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Well you would actually guess hes the type to sleep in but hes not. He would get up at 5 a.m to go for a damn jog (cause he barely sleeps anyway bc of his nightmares) comes back, get breakfast with Daiki. Then it depends where Daiki would drag him. He also doesnt mind watching Daiki draw his paintings or learn for school ... even if hes looking more him than anything else😂 If it comes to him he would actually go play basketball with the boys before getting to training either dancing or taekwondo. At evening he can settle down if he got enough exercise and is satisfied if he can cuddle and watching a movie with him c: If hes tired he can get a real cutie 😊

🎸 - What’s your character’s music taste like? Do they have one or two artists they play on repeat or do they have a varied and eclectic collection of music? Do they like mainstream artists or prefer underground musicians? What genres do they enjoy? ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Pretty mixed he mostly listen to rock but is also into rap and RnB He always acts like the tough guy but pretty deep thinking. So he often listens to music which resembles his insides.

❤️ - Who is the most important person to your character? To what lengths would they go to protect this person? ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

Thats pretty obvious. Its Daiki for sure. He would go to hell and back to keep him safe. and he would be able to manage this easy and kick asses. 😂

🥩 - Does your oc have any coping mechanisms? Healthy or unhealthy?

Oh yea - mostly drugs any kind of. He smokes a lot and drinks too much if hes stressed.

❗️ - What was the scariest moment of your character’s life? Does it still affect them?

Oh yea there were a lot scarie moments of his life. But hes not the type to get scared from something. There was just one moment which is also part of their story where he nearly lost Ashina and this feeling shattered his whole world to the core.

🌹 - What does your oc find attractive in other people? Are these traits found in their friends and/or romantic partners? Are they found in themselves?

Ashina loves a challenge and she can't do anything with shy, submissive guys. That bores her pretty quick. She more the "I ruin bad boys" type of girl. The only who can mess with her temper is actually Aidan because he calms her down - and thats a trait she needs to find in someone which she actually dont know of that she need badly. Somewhere she can find peace. She need someone who can deal with her moods and personalities, is the same type of crazy without giving into her too quick. Someone who also take her on a leash if shes overdoing it. And yea all of this is Aidan.

💔 - Who has your character hurt most? Physically or emotionally? How did it feel? Do they regret it?

Uh yea, she hurted a lot of people in the past but the most? humm probably Aidan as she lied about that she slept with Kiyoshi in Dare to Love me as they broke up because all Aidan wanted was to protect her. She knew it would hit him hard because they are like brothers. She just got overboard there. And also ruined their friendship so they dont speak to eachother anymore. upsi ~

🎈 - What does your character do at parties? Are they a wallflower or a party animal? Do they go with friends or alone?

hmm depents if shes drinking or na :D but if yea - dancing on tables, getting wasted, she wouldnt mind going alone dont worry. But Aidan wont let her 😂 trust me he never would. He just knows her too good.

Thanks for the ask ♥

[muekyn]

shy!armin headcanons

a/n: ok so this was supposed to be shy!armin but i guess i just made him awkward??? so hope you like shy awkward armin fluff t/w: maybe slight suggestive at one point?

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

meeting armin was, interesting, to say the least. you met him at a mutual friend's house party. he seemed out of place, a nice young man surrounded by a bunch of sweaty, boozed up people. he simply stood to the side, awkwardly speaking now and again while your mutual friend, eren, shotgunned a 16 oz tallboy. the night for you two ended once eren got too drunk and needed to be taken care of by armin.

you would definitely say he was polite, kind, and thoughtful. it just seemed as though he had little to say.

armin was admittingly, very shy. and when he saw you it just made it ten times worse. he was stammering and tripping over his sentences, running out of things to talk about. the mere sight of you made him beyond flustered. his mind was like a broken record, repeating the thought "oh my god they're so cute and they're talking to me what do i do what do i say oh my god"

he hoped he would see you again, just to make up for last time. he made sure that next time he saw you, he had things to talk about, even if they led no where. he even looked up some conversation starters online.

ever since your first meetup he's been crushing hard!!! at first it was really bad, he could barely let a sentence out. but as time goes on armin realizes you mesh with his temperament, and is more willing to talk to you about practically anything.

fidgets with his fingers. usually is standing like the "had to do it to em" guy. he just doesn't know what to do with his hands

mumbles!! trails off of his sentences bc he isn't sure if what he's saying is interesting

if he has something to say in a group setting, he usually waits until people are done talking to speak. most of the time this causes him to wait a little too long, and the group has already moved on with their conversation. because of this, he can be especially quiet with large amounts of people.

you think he's quiet with friends? just wait until you see him interacting with a stranger. that boy can't hold a conversation. usually says a grand total of three sentences to somebody before he can't come up with anything else to say. he'll quickly shuffle away before there's an awkward silence.

he also has a hard time making prolonged eye contact. (especially with you!!) doesn't know how long and when to make eye contact, so he usually is looking away from people when he speaks.

the more you're around armin the more he comes out of his shell, especially when it's just the two of you. he's even confided in you that he wishes he had more confidence so he could do the things he wants. (*hint hint* you)

touch starved!! usually pulls away instantly the second he feels someone's skin touching his. however, if you accidentally touch him, he reciprocates the affection instantly. if you brush your hand against his, he'll brush his hand back with a playful smile on his face. if you lean into him, he'll place his hands on your shoulders and pull you in closer.

wants to buy you gifts but isn't sure if that would be overstepping his boundaries. he has bought a few things here and there to give to you when if you two start dating. he keeps them wrapped up nice and neat in his closet, hidden from anyone just in case they were to ask.

armin talks to you the most out of everyone. despite this he's still rather quiet, choosing to spend his free time with you by writing or doing work. occasionally he'll ask you for tips. he loves the creative energy you two bounce off of each other.

definitely has looked up "how to get a person to like you" and "how to know if someone likes you" on google after meeting you

has written out a script for what to say when he confesses feelings for you. he's revised it three or four times at this point. (though, in reality, he's probably just going to accidentally admit he likes you)

[kkami-writes]

ok I just really need to rant and I really don't have anyone to talk to rn and i'm just feeling really bleeeeeeh you know?

I have a group of new york friends (I live in cali) who I spend a lot of time with, we play games together, watch movies and all that stuff. we're even planning a group trip soon and I really want to meet them. We've known each other for years and we've done lots of secret santas and everything. There's one person (who i'll call S). We were close, we had a lot in common and we got along great. We shared struggles together and could talk easily with each other. He had revealed he had a crush on me. (this is in 2020 during covid) I'm a very touch heavy person and one of my love languages. Him living in new york would be really hard. but he's a nice guy and I have a lot of fun with him so I agreed to a 'date' so we had a valentines date over video call and discord. and while I like him, I just don't think I felt the same and again, I really did NOT want to do a long distance relationship. so I turned him down and things were okay for awhile. Then a couple weeks past and I had mentioned that I went on a date with someone (i did NOT enjoy the date btw) but it set him off and he needed some space. which I totally get and understand!!

so back to now I don't really remember what mended our friendship but we were close again and have been for a few years now. I consider him my best friend. out of everyone in our group I felt like I could be real with him with my depression and anxiety. not that I can't with the group but I just felt he always understood me the best, considering he deals with it too. For the last two years we've gotten closer, we'd send stuff to each other, we did buddy reads, like typical?? best friend things. But recently I have felt a little? smothered by him, constantly asking me if my anxiety was acting up or whatever and it's like i'm glad you care but like if I needed help I would go to you, you don't have to ask me everyday you know? and then I was getting worried that he was relying on ME to much. which of course, i'm glad to help but it felt so overwhelming sometimes because I can't help all that much besides give advice, and try to comfort him. and the point is that I wanted him to be able to reach out to other people but it felt like he was dumping it all on me and I was starting to not be able to help bc it felt like I was just repeating myself over and over again you know?

anyway I needed to ask him if he was having feelings for me again because I could start to tell. he had told me no and then I asked if he was lying and then he told me no. but then he didn't talk to me for a few days and in my head i'm like. ok so you lied to me. but a few days later he was back to normal and i'm like...so we're just?? gonna ignore that? okkkkkkk.

and then in chat I mentioned that I had given my number to a cute guy at the boba shop. (I wrote my name and number on a napkin, gave it to him and then ran away bc i'm a big baby). this had set him off because that is that last time I heard from him. the guy never even texted me back (which of course made me feel bad since i'm really insecure about my appearance right now). the thing that I hate the most is that he ghosted me. Our other mutual friend had to tell me that he's taking a break from our discord server. and it sucks. and then it brings me back to all the times we shared and it's like??? did you only do those things because you like me??? like I know you genuinely care about me but it's only because you like me. Like you can't??? respect the fact that I just don't like him like that and i'm trying to put myself out there? something I haven't done in THREE YEARS. I've been single since 2019 and for the first year or so I was happy bc I really needed to take a step back and focus on myself. and now i'm soooooo fucking lonely but it's hard to meet people. I don't have a license, I don't leave the house that often bc my friends all moved away my father is always out either with friends or at work (my parents are divorced and I see my mom rarely). and it's like the one time I put myself out there I get punished for it. and like I know he's going through a hard time I get that, he's been pretty bad lately but. does he even know how much he's hurt me by doing this too? like I get he needs space and like I get time heals all wounds blah blah but it's been a month and I have not heard from him since. He'll still join the discord but as long as i'm not there. and I avoid it too if he's already there. and it's just?? this week has been up and down and i've been feeling icky and god I just??? wish I could talk to him because he'd know what to say? How to cheer me up? and like I'd talk to my best best friend but she's dealing with so much right now that I hate putting more on her plate. She tells me I should hang out with our other friend Z but me and Z had not really a falling out but we didn't talk to each other for a long period of time after a friend situation but her and my best best friend still get together. but it's just??? awkward for me. I would like to be Z's friend again but it really feels like I don't know how to socialize anymore. I know I really need to expand my bubble but idk man.

and even if S gets over it and goes back to normal I don't know if we can??? have the same closeness as before because I can't keep doing this. like it's so unfair to me for you to come into my life ghost me. come back and ghost me again after we got REALLY close. like?? I don't wanna give you all of my heart if you're gonna give it back just because I don't feel romantically towards you?? I wouldn't mind being friends again of course but I'd keep him within a ten foot pole. I can't be emotional or real with him anymore. Just strictly whenever everyone else is in the discord playing games or watching movies.

honestly I've essentially lost a best friend.

this got...really long but I really don't have an outlet right now and yeah. sometimes I

[thestobingirlie]

some ppl do too much w making eddie v traditionally smart/knowledgeable or w having steve say that eddie is one of the smartest people he knows (as though steve's best friends are not robin and dustin). i have also seen ppl make steve say that eddie is the smartest person he knows which,,, okay. sure. we're all a little delusional sometimes ig. then use this as a springboard for him just not trying in school or w/e bc he doesn't care despite him clearly caring enough to repeat senior year three times instead of just getting his ged. this also works against what i find most appealing about eddie - like some ppl want him to be a bad boy played straight who is super smart and competent and i do not understand that. i like that eddie is a drug dealer that just can't graduate high school obsessed w his nerdy interests who is not cool and also not v competent outside of his specific interests, particularly in the intense survival situation he finds himself in. that's what makes eddie fun to me and it's also why any fics or aus that make him hyper successful/famous/competent/badass/etc never feel authentic to him as a character imo. they just rarely let the fact that he is a soft-hearted, nervous person at heart shine and that is what i like most about him. also ppl don't appreciate the way steddie defies expectation enough - like when it comes to dealing w the weird, scary world of the upside down you expect eddie to thrive and steve to flounder when steve is actually the borderline hypercompetent one in those situations, even at the very start. that's what makes the pairing fun and so few ppl appreciate that bc they just want to force them into overplayed archetypes.

oh it pisses me off when people try to make eddie scholarly. boy is on his third attempt of senior year. like, he’s clearly trying to pass, but he can’t. and that speaks to trouble with class more than eddie just not trying, or teachers purposely holding him back, which i’ve also seen in fics and just doesn’t really make sense to me. i feel like a drug dealer is the kinda student you would want to leave high school lmao

eddie is definitely not the smartest person steve’s knows, and that’s not a bad thing! no one has any trouble making steve out to be the biggest idiot alive, but for some reason people have a hard time making eddie seem dumb. like, i think i’ve mentioned this before but i saw one fic that said steve only passed high school because his dad paid the school or something? to try and make it seem like eddie was better in school and it’s so stupid! there’s nothing wrong with being bad at school, but so many people just can’t seem to accept that eddie is bad at school, and steve was slightly better, considering he passed the first time.

and yeah! eddie’s a pathetic loser, and i love that about him! he’s a 19/20 year old still in school, obsessed with d&d. people who take that loserness away from him ruin his character.

you would expect eddie to really find himself in a real life d&d game, become a badass, but instead he flounders. he can’t handle it. which is a fun contrast to our other geeky characters. and people that try to make eddie the saviour and steve the one that totally looks up to him, is weird. the fun of steddie is that eddie starts out expecting steve to be a douchebag, and yet he ends up as someone he wants to emulate and become. eddie finds out steve is the epitome of a hero, rather than an asshole jock. (and though i don’t doubt that eddie has traits that steve would love, he’s not gonna be really looking up to him as a genius. because that’s just not who eddie is)

(also, this is kinda irrelevant, but it made me think about kas!eddie, and how people always make him super badass and brutal, and i think it would be funny if he was just a failure at that too. like, not very good at fighting, just treats this shit like a d&d game. literally just a hinderance to vecna. not on purpose to help the others. he’s just shit at it lol)

[golbrocklovely]

From what I'm seeing of the fandom today, it's the twitter fans who are in the outlier on this one. Everywhere seems to disagree with them on this issue or at least don't seem to think it is an issue worthy of anger yet. Reddit, multiple discords, instagram, FB, here on tumblr etcetc. In fact all these locations just seem frustrated and annoyed by the twitter stans if I'm honest, none of them are being particularly nice about them. (I think the big issue people seem to have with them is they always seem to be stirring up drama alongside the tiktokers and the Twitter stans have claimed to speak for the whole fandom which seems to have riled a lot of people up)

i don't want to have to repeat myself but i will, just bc i don't want ppl to misconstrued what i think lol

again, i don't want snc collabing with joe rogan either, bc that seems to be where a lot of ppl's contention are with them. understandable. i feel the same. joe rogan can suck my nonexistent left nut. that being said, we can't control snc. they obviously went on his show over a year ago at this point bc it was a business decision. a business transaction so that they can reach a wider audience. and then on top of that, his daughter was a fan, and of course they weren't gonna shoot down a chance to meet a fan just bc her dad's an asshole.

i personally don't believe that snc agree with everything joe has said over the course of his career just bc they went on his show. miley cyrus went on his show once, and she's left leaning, so i highly doubt she agrees with any of his takes. i think some ppl are able to compartmentalize who he is vs what his job is. some just see him as an interviewer, which is most likely how snc see him. i'm not saying it makes it right. i'm just stating the obvious.

and i think that is also where the issue lies: a lot of fans want snc to do the right thing at all times, with no nuance. you're either doing the right thing or you're a bad person. and a lot of ppl, myself included in some regard, don't see their decisions as that. it isn't black and white, but some beg to differ. and that's where problems arise.

but again, in a perfect world, snc wouldn't collab with anyone problematic. i would love for that to be reality. but it isn't.

on top of that, the twitter fandom has an issue of constantly calling snc out, or making a mountain out of a molehill, over things that aren't important. they are the boy that cried wolf for a lot of fans outside of that space. and as someone that is online and follows and pay attention to a lot of ppl that do have the loudest voices, it's hard to take their opinions seriously when every other week they find something else to complain about.

most of which, as of recently, has been about k and m and how they're annoying. or snc are annoying for not "telling us" or confirming they're dating the girls. and it's just like… who cares.

and i know, pot meet kettle. i know i'm one to talk. but i at least do it on a site where snc aren't at. and i know it's not meant to be taken seriously. and on top of that, i know i don't know the whole picture, and i'm not owed it either. but some of these fans, loud voice or not, take it too far. and it ruins the vibes. and that's why a lot of ppl are sick of it.

[dearweirdme]

“I'm still holding out hope that's it's all pr, but if it's not, then I'm just upset at the FS. I just wish kpop would stop doing it with how homophobic they are”

you didn’t comment on this part of anons ask so i’m not sure how you feel about it but i just wanted to give my opinion bc this ask rubbed me the wrong way.

to start because i don’t want to get misconstrued, kpop definitely does do fan service and baiting (i’m not saying queer baiting because real ppl cannot queer bait). and while imo it’s up to the fan to realize they’re being baited (not in every situation bc some ppl are good at manipulation)- especially in todays climate - and fan service isn’t always bad as long as the idols aren’t intentionally trying to trick you into thinking they’re together, it’s still definitely annoying and irritating because so many of these straight idols end up being homophobic but are participating in fan service and baiting. and of course the companies and kpop world root for baiting and fanservice but then turn around and be homophobic and not even allow idols to come out. a lot of korea in general too of course. then you have the straight fans who love the idea of their idols being gay for each other but then are homophobic and unsupportive of gay ppl irl.

so yes i definitely agree with the last sentence of anons message BUT calling taekook fanservice/baiting just rubbed me the wrong way. now don’t get me wrong i’m not saying they aren’t together but in this case let’s just hypothetically assume taennie gets confirmed tomorrow and taekook ends up not being real, that does not mean taekook was all fanservice/baiting and they’re bad for doing it. if we’re simply looking at it from a taekook isn’t real perspective (bc i know most here believes they are but just for this hypothetical in response to what anon was saying. i know i’m repeating myself a lot but i just want to make sure you get I’m not actually denying taekook) taekook have never done anything to suggest they’re together. looking at tae’s support of lgbt+ artists and hints that you take as him confirming he is or hints or videos you take as confirming taekook is real are simply how you took things in your own perspective. they’ve never done explicit baiting or fan service. they’re close and showing how close they are isn’t wrong and they aren’t at fault for what fans assume. it’s also not like taehyung has not said to “get out of your imagination” before - you cant say they tricked you purposely. what i’m trying to say is if taekook ends up being fake it is not the fault of taekook you assumed they were. yes idols often do stuff like that but taekook never have.

i hope anon and you get what i mean !!

Hi anon!

Thank you for your input. I don't think I'll agree on everything you've said, but let me cut up your ask in smaller sections a bit to discuss. I'm probably going to rant a little.

you didn’t comment on this part of anons ask so i’m not sure how you feel about it but i just wanted to give my opinion bc this ask rubbed me the wrong way.

Yeah, I try not to invalidate anyone's feelings. If someone's upset they can't really help it, even if the reason behind it might be based on bias/misinformation/whatever. I try to ease peoples mind by explaining pr-tactics, bodylanguage etc... more tangible stuff. And it's very complicated matter. There's fanservice, skinship, real connections... all those are mixed together and all of them can co-exist. I was confused about the differences between those at first as well. South Korea being very different from my own culture made this really hard to disect. So I understand why fans are confused about this. Especially with SK being homophobic and shipping between members being... normal. A lot of Kpop's standards are weird to me (being from Europe). I have a big problem with the constant mentions of dieting for instance. Young girls are so impressive and having your idols mention being on a diet so often seems wrong to me. The obvious homophobia is a big NONO. Idols not being able to date in general.... not great although maybe it does at first give them more privacy, but the backlash they get when they do get caught dating, wow! So yeah, not everything is great imo. I am very much aware though that cultures differ, and things that are weird to me are normal to them (the enlisting for instance, I've seen many fans angry at the SK govenment for having idols enlist... and it is very sad.... but then again, most of us do not live in a country that is always in a tense situation with their neighboring country, so we don't know what that feels like). I think SK is slowly catching up, but change takes time... and for a whole culture to change even more time.

to start because i don’t want to get misconstrued, kpop definitely does do fan service and baiting (i’m not saying queer baiting because real ppl cannot queer bait). and while imo it’s up to the fan to realize they’re being baited (not in every situation bc some ppl are good at manipulation)- especially in todays climate - and fan service isn’t always bad as long as the idols aren’t intentionally trying to trick you into thinking they’re together, it’s still definitely annoying and irritating because so many of these straight idols end up being homophobic but are participating in fan service and baiting. and of course the companies and kpop world root for baiting and fanservice but then turn around and be homophobic and not even allow idols to come out. a lot of korea in general too of course. then you have the straight fans who love the idea of their idols being gay for each other but then are homophobic and unsupportive of gay ppl irl.

There being fanservice in Kpop is not debatable. There is, plain and simple. I feel anyone who has been a fan for an extended time is aware of this. I feel most of army who aren't in an actual shipping part of fandom are real quick to point to every single act of intimacy as fanservice. The way I see it is that they make use of fanservice and skinship a lot to justify physical interactions between members. The over the top grand moments are fan service and the more subtle moments they are able to classify as skinship (which is way more normal in SK than in my country for instance). Fanservice isn't bad. Most bands and artists do fanservice, some just do it more naturally than others. Fans should know that not everything an artist does is his/her/their natural behavior... not everything is spontaneous. Artists go through media training and probably also through training to make them appeal to fans more. I use Jk's flirting in lives as an example of learned behavior, because to me those flirty comments (although hilarious) seem prepared/learned. I do think for younger fans this is hard to understand at first though. You don't want to think of your idol as someone who 'tricks' you with their learned pr-behavior. You want to feel connected on a personal level, so you ignore the business side of things. It's happening now too. I'm calling out certain pr-tactics (which is normal for any artist) and yet I get hate for it. Artists always (!) come with a portion of business, they aren't able to do what they do without it. I’m not sure fanservice is supposed to look ‘queer’, I often feel the intent initially (in kpop) was to make it look obvious that it’s fanservice, but some artists just have such great chemistry that it’s easy for fans to start believing it. And once that seed has been planted, it’s hard to get rid of. But having a ‘ship’ alive and thriving isn’t actually bad for business, so labels probably don’t mind much (and might even encourage). It keeps the ships alive, but there will always be enough of army to immediately call "Fanservice" to 'defend' their artists.

so yes i definitely agree with the last sentence of anons message BUT calling taekook fanservice/baiting just rubbed me the wrong way. now don’t get me wrong i’m not saying they aren’t together but in this case let’s just hypothetically assume taennie gets confirmed tomorrow and taekook ends up not being real, that does not mean taekook was all fanservice/baiting and they’re bad for doing it. if we’re simply looking at it from a taekook isn’t real perspective (bc i know most here believes they are but just for this hypothetical in response to what anon was saying. i know i’m repeating myself a lot but i just want to make sure you get I’m not actually denying taekook) taekook have never done anything to suggest they’re together. looking at tae’s support of lgbt+ artists and hints that you take as him confirming he is or hints or videos you take as confirming taekook is real are simply how you took things in your own perspective.

I think you are trying to say that Tae and Jk have never done anything to blatantly state that they are together. They have not been obvious about it, so us interpreting situations would have been us interpreting things wronly and therefore we are to blame for misunderstanding (did I understand you correctly). I do agree that they haven't intentionally been obvious about it. I feel very strongly that they do not intent to out themselves and that they even try to protect their relationship from being outed. There have been many moments that I feel their feelings were obvious, but we weren't supposed to pick up on those. In general, because at times they might have felt a bit more bolder, I think they want us to think they are really close friends. I do also feel though, that Tae and Jk have done fanservice (so maybe we disagree on this a bit). I think things can be both. Jk sitting on Tae's lap during the Las Vegas show to me was both fanservice and them wanting to. It’s like getting to do a part of your job that you really really enjoy. From a business perspective it would also be weird to never have Taekook do fanservice together, because they are obviously close, they are in the top physically affectionate members, and all members do fanservice on occasion. I think these things can co-exist. I feel fanservice comes so easy for Tae and Jk though, they just melt into each other. The way their bodies operate around each other is so lovely to see. Can we be mad about them doing fanservice? No, it's part of their jobs. Can we be mad at fanservice in general? Honestly, it would make fandoms lives so much easier if they were to tone that down a lot. Because it is confusing and it makes fandoms argue amongst themselves. Labels make use of that, because an argueing fandam means it’s very much alive.

they’ve never done explicit baiting or fan service.

I agree on the baiting, disagree on the fanservice. Fanservice is part of the job though, while baiting I would classify to a more personal level.

they’re close and showing how close they are isn’t wrong and they aren’t at fault for what fans assume. it’s also not like taehyung has not said to “get out of your imagination” before - you cant say they tricked you purposely. what i’m trying to say is if taekook ends up being fake it is not the fault of taekook you assumed they were. yes idols often do stuff like that but taekook never have.

Absolutely, they should definitely be able to express their closeness how they want. It's wrong to assume intimate behavior between men can't be romantic, but it's also wrong to assume intimate behavior between two men automatically makes them queer. My believe in Taekook stems from all things combined, the frequency of intimate behavoir, the body language, patterns in behavior, clues about queerness, the way I feel they were being hidden.

I don't know if my answer is satisfying, or comprehensable even... it's difficult matter and I feel I’ve just been babbling here 🙈.

[rivalsforlife]

I finished the new persona 5 tactica game and its dlc in 7 days which is faster than most people with their priorities in order, so I am ahead of all of my friends and therefore am going to dump all my spoilery opinions here.

The gameplay was fun (I played on easy mode because I am a baby) and I liked making triangles. that was definitely the most satisfying part of the game when I could make triangles and wipe out every enemy on the board at once. I felt like a god. I liked seeing these characters again, I like them, I like getting little insights into their lives.

I can't say that the story was """objectively""" bad but it did a lot of things that just kind of irritated me / felt sloppy / holy shit this is some of the worst Women Writing in a franchise I wouldn't say has particularly stellar Women Writing.

To begin with, I will list off my predictions going into this game based off of trailers:

-This is obviously taking place inside this toshiro guy's brain and/or he's the one who is causing all of this.

-all the villains are going to be Evil People In His Life

-first boss Marie is going to be his wife/fiancee, but it's some kind of political marriage type deal. second boss is going to be some kind of mentor/boss. probably run into a character that is going to be his teacher at some point when the school arc hits

-erina is based on a real person in his life as well who was involved in whatever sort of rebellion toshiro did outside of all this.

This is practically exactly what happens in the game, with the exception that I got the second boss's identity wrong (he's the father, which in hindsight I should've guessed from the start - instead I guessed as soon as Toshiro brought up that his father arranged his marriage).

It might be my fault for watching the trailers before playing but in my defense this game is extremely predictable. Like I said, I guessed the second boss's identity before he even showed up in the game. I think it became pretty apparent this was toshiro's fault early into the game.

uh what else. first kingdom I didn't love much because it felt very repetitive and like it went on for too long. as I wrote in discord after finishing it:

toshiro and erina are both fine but a lot of it is like. extremely predictable and blatant about it. like I could guess marie's whole deal from the trailers so it's a lot of "yeah we know. yeah we know" and it feels weird how the phantom thieves haven't yet at all guessed that toshiro is the cause of this when it feels like that's deefinitely how they're going to end up. a lot of the early segments felt repetitive (toshiro "oh no we should run away why would we risk getting hurt" erina "but we have to stand up for what is right!" toshiro "!" repeat endlessly until close to the end of the kingdom). and I definitely did not enjoy marie as a villain, she's so cartoonishly evil that it just kind of got to the point of exhaustion. comparing her as a first-game villain to someone like kamoshida for example, both are horrible people, but seeing kamoshida in real life and his actions in real life and how it was affecting everyone, despite him being fairly one-dimensional as a villain, made him an extremely hateable but very effective villain. I did not feel any of that for marie I was just sick of her. I'm hoping the game steps it up a bit moving forward bc I think the "not seeing the villains in reality aside from a few brief glimpses" thing might be rough on that aspect

I played the DLC after the first kingdom, which was a mistake because they have the same credits as the full game meaning I got spoiled on Yuki being related to him somehow. I thought she was a sister, maybe, until the moment toshiro brought up that his mom was dead, and then it was pretty obvious but it took the game FOREVER to actually state this.

Yuki's writing is where I really started to lose it because her character trait is Mother. There's nothing else. I actually laughed a bit when she jumped in front of that beam to protect toshiro because literally where else could it possibly be going. at this time I declared her "the most fridged persona character ever". this was, perhaps, naive.

THIRD KINGDOM. the introduction of eri natsuhara who dragged erina down with her. we have now completed the "bitch wife - mother - manic pixie dream girl" trifecta of shitty female character writing tropes. And I don't think it would bother me quite so much if they didn't go for all three in the same game and none of those three seemed to have any amount of motivation outside of toshiro.

Like again I'm not going to claim that persona has ever had stellar female character writing, but they typically at least manage to have the characters have some amount of traits outside of whatever guy they're associated with...? They have some characters I really like (Futaba, Yukari, Mitsuru as examples off the top of my head) and most at least have some part of their character arc as an individual one.

I guess the closest I could compare Eri's whole thing to is Aigis, but Aigis at least had a good part of her character arc independent, tying into the overall "meaning of life" theme, trying to figure out her own purpose and soul and ending up on "wanting to protect the protagonist" isn't bad because the game is about friends giving you the meaning of life. aigis contributes a lot thematically and I think her character arc makes sense. at least in my view.

I did not see any reason for Eri to be the supportive character to Toshiro's whole deal, but she's like "I'm going to help you achieve your dreams!!" when her own dreams and goals took a hard sideline in the plot. We know basically nothing about what Eri's done in the presumably decades between the high school events and the events of this game. The game really tried pushing the "sometimes, if you fight back... people get hurt!" but it was much more of an emphasis on "toshiro is sad that eri got hurt" and much less "how is Eri actually suffering from this other than in hospital wearing bandages". we know she lost her will to fight but the girl literally just got hit by a train so who can blame her for that, we don't know how or why she regained it, I especially don't like that she made the whole thing about "I'll catch up to you one day!". Did she get to graduate? What's her career like? What's the extent of her injuries and how do they impact her day-to-day life? We know Toshiro got shunned by everyone but did Eri have her social circle decimated as well, especially since Toshiro apparently never talked to her again??

It's like the focus on Eri's injuries was a) she lost her will to fight :( b) Toshiro is sad about it and they won't be able to fight together anymore :( and not the things about how it's impacted her life outside of Toshiro. I think that would've been nice to see more.

And the thing I especially didn't like about how they wrote Eri is that her character dragged down Erina, who was pretty good throughout the first arc, fell kinda into the background in the second arc, and then in arc 3 just got pretty much merged with Eri and suddenly her sole purpose was to protect Toshiro's heart -- nothing about the people she was trying to protect in the first arc or really anything other than a few allusions to an ongoing identity crisis over not being a real person. I will admit that her turning into a Persona was the first time I was genuinely caught off guard in this game.

(Sidenote: It was so obvious throughout the third arc that the ruler would be Shadow-ish Toshiro that the red herring they were pulling with nakabachi was completely insufferable.)

Anyways I get that this wasn't an Erina Game it's a Toshiro Game but it's just the combination of a bunch of weird writing decisions that really got to me in this case and at a certain point it was like doing a bingo for "shitty women writing". Eri is both the Inspiration For Toshiro's Rebellious Spirit who also Sees His Potential and Wants To Help Him Achieve His Dreams and then is later The Poor Defenseless Victim And Her Being Hurt Causes Toshiro To Lose His Way But Still Inspires Him To Be Better, and she's also The Woman Who Broke His Heart And Spirit And Is The Cause Of His Suffering But He Doesn't Regret The Time They Spent Together... it's just a weird checklist and it got tiring for me. I don't mind some of these things if it wasn't also in conjunction with Yuki's sole personality being Mother and Marie's sole personality being Bitch Wife Only Marrying Me For My Status.

idk maybe I'll feel better about it as time passes but at a certain point it was like my god are we really still doing this.

anyways what else. the DLC! I enjoyed the DLC overall. I really liked Guernica and Luca's whole thing. I think it was mostly held back by the fact that neither Akechi or Sumire were their normal selves and you couldn't fully allude to their Problems. Akechi kind of did nothing even if bullying him was fun. Sumire got a few good moments. I found it especially weird that Akechi didn't pick up on anything being up with "Kasumi", especially when at one point Luca literally calls her "Kasumi" in front of everyone, and especially when he should have picked up on something being weird when Sumire was talking about her sister since to the best of my knowledge japanese doesn't have an age-neutral "sister" word so she would have been saying "younger sister" when she meant "older sister". but I'd be interested in checking the original out to see if they got away with it some other way.

(I do find Akechi's one weird "let me guess, you're a god" comment extremely funny though. Is it meant to imply he's dealt with gods before this because I don't think he should have. I think Akechi got too much knowledge of how persona games work for a second.)

I really think Akechi could've been an interesting addition to the main game considering the plot is centered around the guy who is rumored to be becoming prime minister after Shido, but I figured out pretty quick that they couldn't put him in here because he would just have too much knowledge about the current political state and would be able to deduce at least most of the second arc very quickly. at least half this game apparently operates on idiot plot or in one memorable case "yeah I thought something was off but apparently decided not to say anything about it until now". so back to purgatory with you, akechi.

oh one last thing. in the main story. why the fuck were the phantom thieves there?? I get how the whole thing got constructed for toshiro but there was no reason for the thieves to get called into this, because the god wouldn't want them there and (unlike the dlc) toshiro wouldn't have called for them, unless maybe it was subconscious, but they really don't even attempt at giving a half-assed explanation so I am still completely lost on that.

anyways overall like I said I had fun but a lot of this felt sloppy. sometimes I feel bad about my writing skills but then I remember how incredibly unsubtle persona is and feel better about myself. I really wish erina could have driven the plot on her own right and not just for toshiro's sake. that's kind of the part I feel bitterest about at this point.

[lynsburner]

BESTIE BESTIE BESTIE DID YOU SEE THE VID OF ANDY SINGING UNKNOWN ON STAGE????

https://twitter.com/hozier/status/1666156710816251927?s=46&t=LSoyIXqT91OLGNpISabobw

“you know the distance never made a difference to me” THE FIRST THING I THOUGHT OF WAS YOUR FIC 😭 this song is sooooo andy/lovely core im obsessed!! i can’t wait for it to come out, A) bc it sounds amazing already, and B) bc im so excited to hear your thoughts on it!!!

Oh... bestie... you might not like my answer for this one because I am absolutely begging him to put this one bACK IN THE VAULT (or whatever it is. Sorry I have too much Taylor on my mind after going to the eras tour twice now. And for the last time, I swear.)

Is it a bad song? Absolutely fucking not. It's gorgeous. But it hits a little too close to home for me.

So... I am about to tell a silly story. Picture this. It is late September. I am SEATED to see Carly Rae Jepsen at Radio City. I check twitter (yes I am on the hoz side of twitter. Not under this name, though lol). People are freaking out about a tik tok he made. I had only seen a small clip posted of him jamming on a guitar so I think nothing of it.

The curtain goes up. Carly comes on. I am having the most fun two hours of my life because how can't you when you get to hear the best opening number for an album ever made, sax and all? She ends with Cut to the Feeling, one of the most joyous songs ever made! I am on a happiness high! Nothing can ruin my night!

And then I am sitting at the bus stop and I check tik tok and realize it was a full song! A full song about a long-distance relationship! And I start SOBBING!!!! Because guess what? That song is SAD!

So I go from absolutely forgetting every bad thing that had ever happened to me to full-on crying about a failed relationship I was still not over!!! In the middle of 5th Avenue, no less!!!!

Idk if you've heard the full thing, but it is DEPRESSING! It's basically the opposite of Francesca (or the "I'd do it all over again" motif) ! He literally sings "And there are some people, love, who are better unknown" like??? Imagine thinking you're better off never someone than knowing them at all! (which, I know is my interpretation, and I can very much be wrong but that's what it's giving to me!) I can imagine! I was still in that mindset! Especially since this one was about a long-distance relationship! It hit me too fucking hard!!! I have literally ignored every live performance I've come across of it on social media since because it makes me absolutely sob!!! I wish I was joking!

Anyway, a hilarious bookend to this: the day he announced in that Instagram Q&A the date Unknown was officially being released? Guess who I was seeing in concert that night? That's right! Carly Rae FUCKING Jepsen!!!!! *Insert the "If I had a nickel" meme here*

But yeah, he got the real long-distance thing down to a fucking t, especially with the second verse, "Funny how true colors shine in darkness and in secrecy. If there were scarlet flags, they washed out in thе mind of me" because yeah, you can forgive a lot of shit when the person isn't physically in front of you! Also, "Where a blinding light shonе on you every night Either side of my sleep" to me is just a fancy little way of saying face time/late night calls lol. (Again, I could be wrong, but still!)

But (I am sorry for repeating "But"... BUT!) he also confirmed it's from circle 9, which is treachery! Which... well I am not defining a successful relationship as treachery, I'm sorry! Judas is in that circle! And I did too many years in Catholic school to know what that guy fucking did!

Anyway, unlike me and my ex (and whoever the fuck Hoz is singing about, may they have their peace and never have to hear this one randomly in a store or some shit), Andrew and Lovely are definitely on better terms in my mind and are absolutely thriving <3 As I said before, love those crazy kids! They're in their own universe probably looking at rings as we speak! Or face-timing since he's out on the road! Good for them!

This is also not an insult to long-distance relationships in general. I loved that shit. It was wonderful! The guy, though? He sucks! And I am still doing some reflecting on that (which I am sure will continue once I force myself to listen to Unknown in a non tik tok way!)

Lovely Anon, I know this is not the answer you expected, but hopefully, it makes you chuckle! Or at least gets you to listen to the greatest album ever made: Emotion, by Carly Rae Jepsen!

PS: thank you for that other ask because I have been putting "no plan" back into my rotation of songs and oh boy I forgot how fucking good it was!!!!!

PPS: I hope this didn't come off as too, "Uhm, actually!" because that was not my intent! The opening, out of context, is absolutely Lovely and Andrew coded! But the rest? Oh, she has words for him!!!!!

[brick-a-doodle-do]

Rambling up ahead, with some things that might bother some people? Just mentioning experimenting on non-humans and death—you've been warned......

All of this takes place mostly in the second story, but there's info that's important for the first one bc it exists even in the first....

So what I wanted to ramble about was that there's this really bad hidden experiment lab that no-one knows of. Heroes and villains are both being kidnapped, and they're responsible for the dragons disappearing.

Not only that, they know of the prophecy and purposely tried to stop it by getting rid of the dragons and spreading lies that they're super weak since once they're too far removed from being pure dragon, their bodies can't handle their own magic and thus, are easily mistaken as not having any magic at all.

That's why dragons are discriminated against...they have a tough body but they can't handle the magic power of a dragon and can't even move it around. It was easy to lie to the world and also use something (or someone 👀) powerful to wipe their original memories of dragons.

This massive underground group operates out in the open with something else as their disguise (I can't tell you who it is or it'll spoil way too much), but they also abhor mixed races. Some are fine and accepted, but not all of them. Vara actually hides that he's a mixed race because he's scared of what will happen and for food reason...there's a reason Voidshire returns in book 2...

He actually comes back with very good intentions. He doesn't wish to hurt anyone and just wants to find and save Vara, then get to the root of the truth and even find out about his own dad. The problem is that the cover these people use made it extremely easy to pin him as simply a returning villain rather than a savior...and thus the most powerful villain is back in action, but with even greater power than before.

These people capture and experiment on mixed breeds because they want to discover magic to prevent the end of the world that's described in the prophecy. It's also to test medicines, tools, and new magic on them...see how durable the race is, and if they could be dangerous. They've begun to suspect that the one noted in the text managed to come into being despite them wiping out the dragons and it makes them work even harder. They are also the ones that wanted to make use of a dragon's power because they were jealous, wishing for that strength for themselves. So they caught every strange mixed race because they were scared it could be the one in the prophecy.

Sadly for these people the person who decides the fate of their world has been tossed to hell and back several times now, and is out to get them. They stole his hero after all...he'll stop at nothing to get him back home. They had two outcomes in the prophecy and they're scared of the one where the choice is "destroys the world themselves" before or after the world disaster

So then here's how Ezephr comes into play...

Those same people were the ones who raised Ezephr so horribly. They wished to create a weapon to combat the upcoming world disaster or even the prophesized hero. The problem was they forgot to account for insanity and the lack of using anything to keep the subject under their control. After Ezephr took out every single person in that one incredibly major lab, they started putting things on their "tools" to be sure they always had control. No need to have a repeat where they can't stop the thing...but now they're mindless and only follow orders, exactly how they like it.

Point is, Ezephr was their greatest creation and achievement. They started trying to replicate him over the years, which is where some of the villains that seem to weirdly stick together come from. As mentioned, they put controls in place even when somewhat releasing them into the world to see what happens. The difference was Ezephr having a mind of his own that desired to never feel so much pain again.

Angels get their power from their greatest desires. It manifests somewhere from 13 to 17, but he got his at 12 bc of how desperately he desired it. The power overruled the laws of the world itself and formed in him early...which also left weaknesses in his defense. Still, this power was what allowed him to actually be much stronger than Irzayn/Voidshire for the entire story. He's just not really classified as a villain and more so as a worldwide threat.

Except what wasn't mentioned was that they did once try to put something in him to control him...the problem was them underestimating his anger towards them and how his power would prevent it from working. It had been too weak and let him think on his own from the beginning, which was the only reason this all happened. But that tiny bit of control leaves him loyal enough that if the main base is attacked...he'll feel a strong desire to protect it.

He won't even know why though. In fact, in the final fight with Irza, he's asked why he's doing this. Ezephr only shrugs and tells them he has no clue...he was just compelled to do so. At this point he's already kinda aware it's because he's being half controlled, but it takes a bit before he's able to lash out at one of the important people in that evil association.

This was actually when Irza defeats Ezephr for the first time, and not because the angel let him win, but by using his own strength and going toe-to-toe with him. This is where they should be glad that Irza is tied to Vara and his mom so strongly bc he will have the power to crush the earth with shadow of he really wished. The problem? He's got two people shouting at him not to get hurt, don't glare at people, don't start fights, don't be rude, eat your food, go to sleep...they take care of him and are the only reason he's redeemable.

If the two sunshines in his life weren't grounding him and pulling him out of the darkness of his own power he would be the same as Ezephr...well not as sadistic but there'd be no saving him. With them, he gets ripped to safety and shown there's at least two people that care about him despite the world hating him.

Which really makes me want to talk about his dad, actually. Mainly bc that guy was a very strong dragon gifted with vampiric power and is still alive throughout the entire story, just...gone. But the best part? The guy doesn't even know Irza exists. He doesn't know he has a child.

He left Maya (Irza's mom) to keep her safe but had no clue she was pregnant when he did. So...ok I can't hold it anymore! There's a fight between Irza and his dad where neither of them know who the other is at all!!!!!

Tbf it was a misunderstanding and had some mind control involved, but still! It makes my brain spaz excitedly bc that would be such a violent fight...both are way too strong for their own good and it would mostly be a tie, but only because Irza has experience at that point. If he wasn't used to using his defensive powers for attacks, he would have lost instantly. His dad is fully attack based while Irza is a support. This also means his dad's physically stronger too.

If they punched a dial, his dad would be at least ten points above Irza. Also I can't say much more than that without it spoiling but I thought that would be fun to know about the guy...oh! His dad's name is actually Akeraanzeh Heron (he used Maya's last name and got rid of his). Nicknamed Aker.

Family list bc I rambled too much:

Akeraanzeh Heron—dad (pronounced [ache-err-on-zuh])

Maya Heron—mom (pronounced [may-uh])

Irzayn Heron—son (pronounced [err-zane])

I probably have a lot more to say that I just forgot so...questions?

Just to have fun—I sent this 4/03/23 at 11:00pm exactly, which is 1am for you

5 DAYS that's pretty good for a splurge :D not even one reminder from you :3c

okay yes you heard them!!! talk of death n stuff. gore. idk. just beware under the cut ✨

YOO guided evolution much ?? im sorry i had to use up my complimentary fanfic reference

ooh ooh who is THEY ????? and damn what do they have against dragons :(( ik it has to do with the prophecy (probably) but i totally forgot what the prophecy was,,,

and OOh i see. so very strong but it's too strong for them to comprehend? how does irza manage it then?

i like spoilers. give me the spoilers. i won't spoil them to anyone else. GIVE ME THE SPOILERS 3D.

and also what are some of the more normalized mixed races?? have you gone that far yet ????

YOO and by returning do you mean when he teams up w quickvine? or a different occasion?

oop nvm my question has been answered asjsfjd soo something happens to vara then???? 👀👀👀

mm love him cleaning up his life :D

oh damn never mind sorry irza u can't have peace :'D

woww testing on humans, assholes frrrr ,,,, i see. well i can kind of see their angle but also. ?????????? god damn,,,, do they like fully keep them prisoner? what's the treatment like?

OHH i see why irza wants to find vara now. and YEAHH they absolutely messed with the wrong person, if you touch vara you're gonna get irza immeditely. vaza my beloved <3

is the world disaster a separate thing, and is it inevitable or something that can be prevented? (not including irza doing it himself)

EZEEEEE MY BELOVED !!!!! SOME EZEPHR LORE I'M GETTING EXTRA COMFY FOR THIS >:333

YOOO okay i see. ah yes we all know how trying to create a weapon always goes SO well /sar ,,,, have they never seen a movie before?? smh

well i mean yeah if something i was trying to achieve was accomplished i would try to recreate it. are they doing it just to have multiple weapons like eze or just because they want to perfect the person? and how does original eze react to this?? does he know about it??

and are the clones not "real" people like eze is? i see you mention that but like how real are these clones? are they like ai/robots or smth different? ALSO what does happen when they're released into the world? if technically they're like eze, then what's stopping them from just. destroying things? and also i beg the question of why these people don't do confined experiments that only consists of a few subjects rather than the entire world? and their plan. it's to create something that'll stop the prophecy from coming true right?

also if eze killed everyone how did they regain their staff? dumb question but i like all the random details :D

OOH the uhh powers/deepest desire thing!! you mentioned he got it because of how badly he desired it!!!! does that link to a possible god(s) in this universe?? or just a lucky manifestation ?

i see. he's a doomsday device. doomsday as a person >:)

what even was his power???? just the power of being op?? 😭

wow omg eze is such a FJGDJSGDSFK guy. poor man doesn't know why he's a literal ticking bomb, he just is trusting his gut fgjdfsd i can't tell if that's sad or not :'(

i am holding back my urges to compare him to minecraft youtubers so i will refrain. anyway i kinda feel bad for him, literally he's awful but now that i know more than just "he had a bad past" it's just. makin me feel empathetic for him 🙏

OOH GO IRZA GO!!! confidence my guy ✨✨

SDVKFFDSFDJADFSFJESFJAFAKFDSFAGFSJEFKGKAMMMVFSMFKMASKDOEWKAVFMBRA (that's my response to that paragraph)

i love him. seeee he's not a total monster he still listens to the people he lovesssss. vaza. get out of here MOM, vaza only matters :D (i will become a toxic vaza shipper /j)

but also at the same time it shows that ezephr has no one there to ground him, just himself, which has literally already been corrupted and he can't really pull himself out of it. there's no one there to give him the sweet relief of relaxing for the day :(

OOOO IRZA DAD IRZA DAD!!!

MMM irza got daddy issues then????? eeee and would irza's dad ever want to meet him if given the chance?

SFGDFJSG WHAT DON'T DROP THAT CASUALLY ?!?!? A FIGHT?? daddy issues victim vs daddy issues victim enforcer-ish except neither of them know that. i love it.

LOVE 👏 IT 👏

AND I LOVE THE FACT THAT U TRIED TO KEEP THAT A SECRET BUT COMPLETLEY FAILED LMFAOOO

MIND CONTROL YOO?? :000

and mm i wonder if there are any moments in that scene where they see any similarities? not just like power-wise or looks or anything like that, like certain habits/traits that irza may have inhabited from him that make him wonder,,,,,

and MMM a candidant for defeating irza. nice. gotta love those :D

dndvdfjs STRONG man.

and ooh a pronunciation guide,,, i had irza's name right lets goo >:)

all of my questions are scattered in this post so yehh!! thank you for all this info >;3

[privacyredux]

76oz

somewhere sometime in the sky

it's been a long time. val and i said i love you and while, maybe it was a bit fast? im not sure. i've heard conflicting information. regardless, it feels so nice. i get that immediately after it's normal to be in this like heightened lovey dovey state for a minute and that part doesn't really last forever, but it's fun for while we have it. i'm not always the best at accepting compliments and that kind of appreciation piled on me, but it feels really nice coming from her. i believe most of it. maybe all of it. you know, it's hard to accept things sometimes, but im really enjoying the feeling of it all.

i have tour to leave for and im gonna miss the whole event thing, which kind of sucks, but it's nice that everyone will be out there too even if it's not exactly the same place. i know some of my friends will stop by and i hope maybe some others too. i was gonna wait to float that suggestion until it's closer to the date. and val will come and hang out for a bit after that. we can explore europe a little bit and it'll be really nice. i invited whitney to come out to work if she wanted, but i think she's probably not going to. i hope she's still going to come for the us tour but i guess i'll see.

there was a whole thing with max and her and the other day or well, max and her feelings about what he was doing. i'm not sure i'm totally on board with her current approach to things, but i guess it's not my business. i just don't want to see her lose control over her boundaries until they're practically non-existent. like, i hope im wrong. i really do, but addiction is shit to deal with and as much as im sure max doesn't want to cause anything bad for whitney, i'm just worried it'll happen anyway. it's really not in my control though. it's one of those things that i just have to try to remember to support people. i can't control how things are handled. it just feels like there's already been some deceit on his part and i don't want it to be seen as something that just rolls off her back. whatever.

this morning started with me going over to get whitney bc she was upset about everything and taking her to breakfast with me, val, and eric and for now it all to feel like what happened is cleaned up just seems weird. i just have to deal with not knowing what goes on between other people and accepting that the people i care about are adults who can make the best choices for themselves. it's just hard.

there are plenty of ways ive fucked up in my life and i don't want anyone to repeat them or suffer the consequences of them as a bystander either. i wish it was somehow possible to just like pass on the experience to someone else without them having to live through it themselves, but the reality of that would probably be some kind of fucked up black mirror shit i haven't even begun to imagine the consequences of. i dunno. i really hope that when ive spoken about it i don't seem like i hate max or think he's a terrible person or something. i just think he's capable of doing terrible things in the same way anyone can, especially with the kind of burden he's dealing with currently. maybe both he and whitney think i hate him. i don't.

having val around for it was helpful though. not just for the compassion and support for me, but just for the distraction too. even just writing this she was sharing something that she'd written about me.

like, it makes me feel like the grinch sometimes with my heart growing bigger and bigger bc it really does make me feel good and special. i feel like there's so many things i wanna do for myself and for my friends and it can be hard to figure out how to go about it right. and there are definitely times i can be down on myself about how ineffective certain things are or if im being too much or whatever else. it's just nice to have someone who is always looking to build me up bc as hard as i try not to, i'm always going to have a talent for tearing myself down

there's also a whole thing with sabrina... which i guess i won't get into yet bc she's said it's really just a joke just a bit. i'm not sure, but i think ive said more than enough.

lo que siento - cuco

love this - cosmo jarvis

something right (daytrotter session) - microwave

she made me a couple playlists if that's not obvious heh

[night-faye]

Wukong has ZERO CHILL he is going to roast Macky into melting all that ice on him 😂 but ow, bud 😭 yes, we do indeed wonder if Wukong is throwing shade back. Could Macky have said something about Wukong screwing back to the Monk? You might be wondering "anon why are you so fixated on lines repeating" it's what they DO. Some are narrative parallels, some are Season 4 that makes you go "oh so this is why you said all that earlier that pretty much didn't show up in S3" it was coming :)

"I couldn't care less about what the LBD wants." Ugh, my guy. You know it's pointless trying to tell people that, but thanks. I will chew on every one of those lines. Also. BRO WHERE IS YOUR CHILL. Sorry I know you're a frozen salmon right now, but "the Samadhi Fire is my last hope" also Macky: *LITERALLY BREAKS THE RINGS* sir. SIR. my brother in mammal, you are quite sincerely on a ticking timer before the ice consumes you back into the grave. WHAT were you thinking??? I don't think he's thinking at all. that noggin of his is too shaken up and he's swapping plans on the fly as soon as he hears the rings are with MK. my guy, they were going to do the ritual later anyway, or well, they already started, but were you allergic to waiting to ask politely for someone to use the fire on you? eh tbf, it was better they didn't rip the fire out of Mei to put into Wukong so. can't say it's THAT bad he forced them to finish it without Wukong.

Very optimistic take on Wukong's expressions there! Could be, but he doesn't inspire much hope in that lol. I think it was him feeling guilt about keeping secrets and leaving MK back in S2. And maybe some secret ShadowPeach past that *gets dragged off stage* *claws back onto stage* Ep 10!! Parallels my beloved, *reaches out for you* Him AND Mei I- *screams over the ocean flooding on me* SPECIAL. You will know the scene when you hear it. and see it.

"Don't get in my way, kid. I don't have time for you. I'm just here for the Samadhi fire, then, I'm done with you all." 😔😔😔 it's ok, let him think the fandom even cares about the fact he seriously wants nothing to do with this or interact with the Gang on purpose ever again and has decided hunting down MK is not as fun as it was in the first two seasons. Speaking of, he technically did neither as they came to his play and he was looking at the sky in his intro, as if waiting for Wukong to show up before MK popped up instead. he was even backing up to leave.

actually new thing because our friend Macaroni really isn't right in the head. he was in a mech and all trying to take the rings? when he just destroyed the fakes thinking they were real? and would've what, left it at that until that light shone from the altar? we know he doesn't want to bring em to LBD, unless if that was a moment of weakness/confession because of Wukong, and decided "ok maybe she's my last chance if I give them to her" because HE sure can't use them alone if he removes them from the altar. so WHAT CHANGED to make him force them to finish the ritual? unless if it was another test for MK and he was not impressed with the power. "So THIS was the Monkey King's great plan?" It wasn't actually, but how curious that you think so. "How do you still not see that he has no idea what he's doing." some villains drop false statements to complain about society that the hero denies bc they were biased extremists all along. other villains drop truths based in backstory that gets confirmed by Wukong and everybody else there, including the story and it's not meant to be bashing, but rather a character trait and flaw that also has a reason and its okay, it will get better. I'm 0.0 like that meme of slow head turn wide eyes at Macky's final emotional break. he's FULLY lost it here, amazing. this is the most vicious he's ever been oof. gotta also love his shadow shark moves and YES you caught that stressed twitch in his eyebrows!! he's walking pretty slow and heavy, bc of the weight of everything with battling emotions and decisions or bc of the weight of the ice? 🤔

It is so late at night I have no thoughts to articulate, so take this

Thought I will say this bit: I took it as he knew they were fake?

Like, the way he splays them open, stares at them, and then goes "Hm" as he narrows his eyes. and then when Wukong starts talking he glances back at him and raises an eyebrow, almost like "I know him too well, and he seems way too confident for these to be the real rings"

And then of course Wukong digs in the LBD dagger, which gets Mackaroni angry, so him breaking the rings wasn't so much meant To Break The Rings, but more. They were what were in his hands when Wukong started mocking him about LBD, so he broke them to take out his frustration. both at Wukong and at the entire shit situation he's in

and then Ne'zha going "they were fake?" and wukong owning up to it is just icing on the confirmation cake at that point

[mifhortunach]

wrt lrb, just bc i felt weird leaving my thoughts all in the tags of that other post, this goes on for ages, sorry—

anyway, agree w op wholeheartedly! there’s no argument being made, there’s no apocryphal stuff being 'corrected'; it’s a run through of the guys life. as w most biogs, unless it’s something you’re already into, you won’t get too much out of it necessarily, but it’s a breeze to read, and it really really does have his voice. i did genuinely like it a lot!

that said, still managed to make me feel the same way i often do with these things. the stuff that’s being elided & eluded is much more juicy than anything that really gets put down lmao— kaylan seems to have a tendency to like, imply or state that he felt a way about something, but then refuse to actually get into that at all? eg, he says that he spent a lot of time by himself as a kid, and much much later says that he kinda projected parental/paternal roles[1] on a couple of guys who managed them (as the turtles) or worked with him (zappa) etc//, but beyond that it's not a text that explores that really - imo at least

as op says that you get a good idea of what he’s like — “smart, a bit obnoxious” etc — which is true!! it reads like you’re literally talking to the guy. but, i also kinda began to run into the idea that he’s not necessarily the most emotionally self-aware (or wasnt), and that he’s probs a lot moodier (or at least used to be) than he’s really talking about.

(eg; the repetition of ‘i was confused’ throughout, esp wrt some of his relationships, or the vague references to points of depression; tho tbf! those are very career focused, lol.) (throughout he also repeats, “i was an asshole.” or “what a jerk!”, which feels very like.. a little, bruh-off-y, like acknowledging so that you can move on, but i ended up reading in one interview/review where he was basically like, ‘yeah, i hadn’t gone thru those diaries since then, and all those refrains are sincere! id forgotten what a dickhead i was’—idk, interesting)

dude also cried a fair bit

i actually ended up reading it in part bc i ran into old forum threads about it, which themselves mentioned how he talks about volman - or more accurately he **doesnt** talk about volman - despite the working together for the majority of the last 50yrs (i was kinda expecting him to be mentioned less actually, given how down they were about it, lol). it is funny how he’s almost always there on the periphery, or literally working with the guy!, but beyond the relatively objective there’s not too much mention. i do think that people often romanticise that aspect of being in a band: the intense relationships & dyke drama of it all, (where’s that insane ed robinson quote when you need it….)[^2] forgetting that ultimately a lot of the time that all ends up being boiled away to coworkerdom[^3] ( :/ )

enjoyable read tho!! will leave you impressed with how many marriages he managed to get through, as well as the sheer amount of name-dropping, but i can’t help but look forward to when someone puts out something more cutting in like 20yrs, or if the diaries ever get published posthumously 🤷‍♀️

---------------

gets mentioned in this interview too ↩︎ 

ed bnl has the wildest quote about stevie p, in an interview i can't find (around the time of the divorce, lol), basically saying that 'you've not in a band, you just wouldnt get it'

seems a little chilly between them ngl, not /bad/ necessarily but yk - from the forums: (x) (x) - there's also a bit in the 90s where kaylan moves out of california, & mentions that volman's wife supposedly rang him & basically was like, 'dude's not happy with you', so idk

4. just including this bc i've been calling them, 'the litigious turtles' in my head all week, but check out the fuckin copyright page on it, omfg