#I feel like you were scrolling through AO3 fanfiction anon

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

I genuinely despise this fanbase. It’s person after person defending Bill/Pete/Josh and woobifying them and going “H-H-HE DIDN’T DO ANYTHING WRONG!! HE’S JUST A LIL YAOI BOY🥺” You check the tag and it’s smut written about a character still in high school, people describing Bill like an angel just because they think he’s attractive, a proshipper, and then maybe a normal person. Some people here remind me of how some South Park fans treat Cartman

[mothdruid]

Within the past 72 hours the TGM fandom got a fire put under it's ass, for lack of a better term/phrase. Even though I'm not as active in the fandom anymore, it did make me want to talk about a few things. This isn't the first time that I've had to make a post similar to this, usually speaking about reblogs and keeping your fanfic writers feeling wanted within the fandom spaces, but today I'm going to talk more about fandom etiquette and my experiences in fandom spaces. So, if you want to hear my opinion on fandom etiquette, how I learned fandom etiquette, and my thoughts about the doxing situation that has happened, keep on reading.

My Fandom Experience.

The first fandom that I was ever a part of was The Hunger Games fandom in the 8th grade (if you don't include my anime fandoms). I was 12-13 at the time. This was when I was first introduced to Tumblr and being involved within a fandom online. At the time I was super young, barely even knew who I was as a person, let alone in a fandom space. All I did was reblog little gifsets and fawn over Josh Hutcherson. I remember getting my first hate anon, even though I didn't do anything that would generate that to even happen. Even when I was 12-13, I couldn't understand why anyone would send a hate anon. That was when I found out a friend of mine found my Tumblr and actually secretly hated me, so she sent me hate anons. Still, before I knew it was her I didn't understand.

Fandoms were a formative part of my childhood. I think that main one that helped form me though was the Supernatural (yeah, I know, eye roll), Naruto, and The Hobbit fandoms. I had made friends on Tumblr and Instagram through these fandoms. During these times was when I had first started consuming fanfiction. Specifically, destiel and thilbo fanfiction. This is how I started to find the things in fanfiction that I loved, and the things that I hated. Instead of sending hate to the writers for their thoughts and stories that I didn't agree with, I would back out of the story or just scroll past. Not only that, I also started to use the filters on AO3 constantly, ensuring that I was only reading the fics that I knew I'd enjoy. Also, I was careful to read warnings and tags prior to reading the fic. Never once did I blame the writer for something that I knew I didn't like and accidentally read or read for see what it was about.

After high school was when I started getting into fanfiction writing. I've written for a lot of fandoms during this time. The IT movies, Total Drama, Haikyuu, Attack on Titan, Marvel, Bridgerton, Top Gun: Maverick, and currently ASOIAF. As a writer I've never gotten hate, thankfully, but I have had a lot of friends that have. It's sad to see so many people who take the time to write, whether it's enjoyable or not, receive hate. As writers we are simply expressing our creativity for the things that we love. Since posting fanfiction on tumblr, I have experienced a lot of people pestering for new updates and when the next fic is, and so have a lot of other writers on here. Even though people only know us as a little icon and username, fanfiction writers are people. We have lives outside of writing fanfiction. Everyone also isn't the same type writer. One person may easily write multiple fics every week, some of us take longer, and some of us are even just passion writers (me lol).

The TGM fandom has been one of the most negative fandom experiences I've ever seen/had. It is full of some of the meanest people/anons I've ever seen. From writers being attacked for fic ideas, people being sent hate for something that the anon has full control over, and people constantly expecting new stories to read on the daily. Yes, I do know that other fandoms have these issues, but it seems to be almost a weekly, hell, even daily thing within this fandom. A lot of the issues that I see happen in this fandom are from people who don't understand fandom etiquette.

Fandom Etiquette.

If you had noticed there was a few things I put in bold above. These are key things that I learned during my time that attribute to fandom etiquette. So without further a do, I'll list out some fandom etiquette rules that I follow all the time.

Don't send hate anons to people

Block/unfollow people you don't like

If you don't like an idea or fic, don't read it

Read through all warnings and tags that the writer provided

Use AO3 filters

Don't blame the writer/creator for reading things they created that you actively know you don't like

Writers/Creators aren't "content farms"

There are people behind these blogs/usernames, treat them like someone you'd see on the street

Writers/Creators are expressing love/passion for something, don't hate them for doing that

If you see something fandom related that you don't like, scroll past it or ignore it

YOU CURATE YOUR OWN EXPERIENCE (ESPECIALLY ON TUMBLR)

The Doxing Situation.

For those who are unaware but decided to read this anyways, recently there was a writer (Mama Mayhem) on here who got doxed from another writer in the fandom. Mayhem has since lost her job due to the doxing. This was apparently from her breaking HIPAA by posting a picture into a private groupchat/discord. This picture was posted almost a half year ago. Meaning that the person who reported/doxed Mayhem had known about this picture for months and only recently decided to do something about it.

I'll start by saying that I also work in healthcare, and know many other people here who do. I understand that a HIPAA violation is 100% an offense that gets you fired. I'm not excusing the HIPAA violation if one did occur.

Some people have brought up the idea that maybe the person that reported the picture, and doxed Mayhem, was doing it out of the goodness of their heart. Due to the timeline of it all, that doesn't seem likely. I had a previous coworker get fired for HIPAA violations and it took a total of a week from the initial report for her to be gone.

The biggest thing I want to convey is that TWO WRONGS CAN HAPPEN AT THE SAME TIME. Yes, if Mayhem violated HIPAA, it is wrong. But at the same time, the person held onto this information for months only to use it out of spite, pettiness, and cruelty, is wrong.

My Thoughts.

Due to Mayhem being doxed, a lot of people have decided to leave this platform, take indefinite hiatuses, stop writing, or move to AO3 exclusively., and I don't blame them. I'll be honest, I'm thinking about moving to AO3 exclusively now. AO3 feels a lot more rewarding in my experience. I already only post my fics for ships to AO3, so why not just post everything on AO3 (which I usually do).

I think a lot of people have forgot what it feels like to feel shame in something they say or do. When I say this, it's directed towards people who send hate or do other malicious things in fandom spaces. Fandoms were never this clique-ish and mean. I think it has to do with the pandemic, meaning that a lot of people who would have never joined a fandom did because they weren't allowed to do anything outside of their house. So, those mean girls that made fun of fandom girlies (g/n) previously, joined the fandoms and decided started bullying the people within them.

This situation is super shitty and people are now scared. It makes complete sense, especially after seeing someone, that many of you were close to, be doxed. A lot of people are scared of it happening to them now. I don't think this fandom will be the same after this situation, but who knows, maybe everyone will just forget and move on. Either way, I think I'll be taking a step back from the TGM fandom. I'll still be here, but until further notice, I won't be posting any TGM fanfiction. Maybe a gifset/picture here and there, but I don't think this is a fandom I feel comfortable writing for anymore.

If you've read all of this, thank you.

[nerves-nebula]

I'm not sure how to word this but but I'm thinking of dabbling into reading some incest fanfiction but dont know how or where to start. I want to be respectful of it because I have never personally experienced it and also wanted to know your thoughts of reading it without the personal reference. Thank you, I really want to be respectful!

I'm thinking of dabbling into reading some incest fanfiction

me when i was like 10 years old scrolling ao3 lol

but to get to your actual question. um. i deadass don't know how to respond to this. like UHHH lol? sorry but huh? what? this is bizarre on so many levels.

you are at no point in time required to read fanfiction "respectfully." cuz when you read something it's in your mind you're not like. live bloggin this or something. like i think i might understand what you mean but it's so strange.

if you wanna "respectfully" read stories about incest why are you starting with fanfiction instead of like, i dunno, articles of people's real accounts of it. autobiographical books that deal with it. or even fictional books that deal with it. why are you asking for incest *fanfiction* specifically

what kind of fanfiction?? do you mean incest kink fanfic? i have to assume not because you're trying to be "respectful" which is. weird. but if you're looking through incest fanfic you're gonna get a lot of kink stuff.

incest fanfic about trauma/abuse? incest rape/recovery fic? what are we going for here. how dark do you want it to get.

im not gonna ref you incest fanfic out in the open like this. even i'm not that confident.

this feels like you're either a kid/someone who doesn't know what they're talking about, or this is the strangest bait ask i've ever gotten.

as for being respectful I really, REALLY don't think that's an issue. when writing you should try to be respectful, when talking about it you should try to be respectful too but that kind of depends. honestly it all depends. but i don't think *reading* respectfully is, like, something i've ever thought of. if you're intent is to learn or to go into a story with an open mind that's already respectful enough imo.

when i think of reading respectfully i think of not commenting mean shit just cuz the author didn't write the story you wanted to read. i think of pointing out the things you enjoyed or engaging in some analysis to let the author know you were paying attention.

if what you're getting at is that you want to *learn* about incest respectfully then i don't know why you'd start with fanfiction cuz even my favorite fanfics that deals with incest aren't, like, necessarily a good place to *learn* about it.

often fanfics that accurately depict some of the worst effects of incestuous abuse are also kinky sex fics that aren't necessarily seen as "respectful" to most people, but goddamn if they aren't accurate.

fanfic isnt a learning tool it's a story being told for a reason and. ok i think i'm getting off track this was just. so strange. no hate to you anon i'm just deeply confused by what you've written here.

[seriously-nobody]

I was gonna turn on anon but I decided against it, would it be okay if I actually asked you a question? Since I know you write reader insert fics yourself I thought you would maybe relate to what I’m feeling and if so I wanted to see how you deal with it. I absolutely love writing x reader fics, I get really attached to my favorite characters and I love pouring that love into writing form for myself and others to enjoy but sometimes I still feel embarrassed/ashamed/anxious about it and about how others might perceive it. I know there used to be a big stigma behind it and I got made fun of for it for a while and even now when I’ve gained enough confidence to start posting them to public places I still get a little worried that someone is sitting being the screen and thinking “wow this is cringe” especially because it’s most of the content I write and I don’t often write about ships or storylines like a lot of other people do. It’s a bit silly because so far most people have been nothing but nice to me but I still feel a little bit anxious about it especially as I keep writing more and more of them and wonder “oh man is this getting irritating for people”

I apologize for the slight vent, I just found it a little difficult to articulate the emotions in a more simple way. Have you ever felt like when you write fanfic? And if so what helps you kinda push through it and start accepting your writing more?

You don’t have to reply to this if you don’t want to or if it doesn’t really apply to you, and again I’m sorry for dumping a wall of text into your asks- I just got stuck in a little rut while writing my next chapter today and am having trouble getting out of it.

First off thank you so much for the question, I'm really glad u asked and were confident enough to send this without the anon on. Second I'm going to answer questions or comment on certain things as I read this, so here we go.

I don't really write for myself, I mostly write for the people who want to read it. I have a small audience but from the few people I have talked to, on here and from my ao3 page, they like it, so I write it for them.

The thing about the stigma is I still feel it. Not for x reader specifically but for fanfiction and fandom in general. But I just have kinda gotten used to it so I just kinda live in it now. I mean I keep my tumblr to myself and of course y'all on here, but that's it. I don't talk about my fics to people I don't trust not just because of the stigma but also because I write some batshit crazy stuff.

I'll tell you this, I don't think people r going to read something that they think they're not going to like. Especially if you label your works right the worst thing they're going to do is scroll away. (But if u do get a negative comment @ me and I'll find them :) ) Also I think my own work is cringe and I've just accepted that it is at this point so I'm kinda immune to someone telling me that I'm cringe or that what I do is cringe because I am and that's just how it be man. I am one with the cringe and the cringe is me. I've lived too long past my experation date to be worried about some default settings incel telling me my Haunted Mansion fanfiction or tumblr blog is cringe. Like uhm ya of course it's cringe? It's supposed to be?? (also it's my brand now that I'm the jester of cringe, thx to @spookyhollowart)

O dude, lemme tell u something, one shots r the best. You don't have to stick to a big storyline, relationship growth, or character arcs. Literally the best. I can't wait to do my one shots because most of them r short and I won't have to be looking back 6 chapters ago to what color some random ass dude was wearing or some bullshit like that, because I have to do now in my current fic.

Trust me the nice people scare me too. It's like WHO ARE YOU PEOPLE AND WHY R U BEING NICE TO ME??? AND WHY DO YOU LIKE WHAT I WRITE?? (U scare me a lot too btw)

O god no! It's not irritating at all! Quite the opposite, I absolutely love ur stuff, especially ur latest one, Soul Ties. Seriously looking forward to the next chapter, I'm super invested in how the reader acts, I very much relate.

Plz don't apologize this was awesome to read through and answer/comment on.

Man that's a big question, uh Ig I can say that for a long time it felt like a joke to myself that I was writing fanfiction. I was writing it seriously but it didn't feel serious/real to me. I'll say this, I accept the storyline and that I came up with it, but I don't accept the way I'm write it. Because I beat myself up for typos, bad flow, not good enough dialog, not enough descriptors, too many descriptors, too short chapters when I have writers block, not good enough, that kinda stuff.

I'm honestly just glad to have someone else writing hm stuff because I love this fandom so much and I love reading other people's work. I hope you get out of ur rut soon. Take ur time, there's no rush, and don't stress on it.

[nudebabitz]

Simone doesn't have horrible styling , go write your awful fics about Ben being gay and Lady Pennywise and stfu about Simone. And stay away from Kanthony. I will never forget you wrote a Siena X Anthony fic disguised as a Kanthony where Kate suffered till the end while Anthony fucked Siena and self monologued about it. You and your friends on twitter need to shut the fuck up about Kanthony and Simone Ashley, what do you gain out of being fake fans? It's so fucking clear you cannot stand either of them. Fuck off.

Hi! There's a lot to unpack here, so let's go point by point.

"Simone doesn't have horrible styling" Alright, so this is in reference to comments I made about her styling for the Vanity Fair Oscars party. For those of you who do not stalk my online presence looking for things to hate on, let me recap what I said; I said that Simone looked very good, I agreed with my friend/mutual who said that Simon is so hot that it distracts from the styling (which was disliked, which is an opinion, defined as "a view or judgment formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge"), and then some mutuals and I continued discussing her stylist, not her. It was our opinion that the styling left a lot to be desired, and we postulated that the stylist hadn't done their job (i.e. checking for fit issues, doing tests with her wearing the garment, getting it tailored/lined; all things a celebrity stylist does, fyi). That is, in summation, what happened. Whether or not Simone has "horrible styling" is an opinion. There is no need to attack me for my opinion on her stylist, whose entire job it is to ensure their client looks exceptional on the red carpet.

As for the rest of it--"awful fics" alright, that is your opinion. It is very easy to not be subjected to my "awful" fics! You can just... not click on them and not read them. Seriously. It is exceptionally easy to not click on them. In fact, if you want to make it even easier, please go off anon and tell me what you AO3 username is, and I can block you on there--then you won't ever have to deal with my fics again :)

Additionally, you have mistaken me for a friend's fic--one that's very good! But, then again, that's my opinion. I understand you might not share that opinion. That's fine! I urge you to stop clicking on links for works that you don't like. I promise, it is so simple and so easy to just not click on links. You have to simply not do an action--it doesn't get easier than that! I know your brain doesn't have any room left over to think about things like this because it uses its limited capacity to be a loser, so I am here for you <3 I really am <3

I do want to address the point of being a "fake fan" alksdjfaslk?? I am, simply put, flabbergasted. I was worried that the hundreds of thousands of words of fanfiction I wrote about those specific characters, along with the fact that I tweet about them basically everyday, and the fact that I think of AU ideas.... everywhere I go, would all amount to the fact that I, perhaps, am too much of a fan! Apparently, I am a fake one. Honestly, this is a bit of a relief, as I was worried that my behavior was cause for concern. But, I am in the clear, apparently! Thank you so much <3

I do sincerely advise you to block me on Twitter and tumblr if you feel the need to send ill-thought out, unintelligent, and illogical hate to people on their tumblr anons. You clearly came here from my Twitter, and seeing as the Oscars parties were on Sunday, and today is Tuesday, and I do tweet a lot, you had to have scrolled through my feed a fair amount to find any suggestion or hint of me saying anything at all! That... Well, I'd say that's fan behavior, but clearly, I know nothing about the parameters by which you measure fan behavior, so I'll say this-it is so easy to not click on my profile, not stalk my tweets, not open up a separate browser tab, not hit "send message," not slam together however many brain cells you have left to be able to put together a coherent enough thought to type out this message, not toggle "anon" option, and then not hit send. You could just... not do that. Again, I know this comes as a shock to you, seeing as you are so very stupid, but I am here to help those less intelligent than I! Call it goodwill or a public service, whatever you wish.

[okay-j-hannah]

Hii hannah!! It's me, the mysterious anon and I'm officially done with not just my exams but highschool! I got my results back few days ago and im surprised i almost got all As because during the last three exams I was literally reading will turner and lotr fanfictions more than my textbooks lmao 😭

And can I just say you're so so sweet and ilysm !!! tysm for accepting my request, can't wait to see how you are gonna write them! although, do remember to write it with your own pace, you don't have to feel obligated to finish it and post it asap (and this goes to all the requests you've gotten) we know you're a human being too with your own things in your daily life and ofc we acknowledge and respect that, that's the least we can do when you actually take time out of your life and accept to write our requests <333

I know I said it in the last ask I sent you but thank you so so much for accidently introducing me to will turner, remember how I fell down the rabbit hole? it seems i am still falling, but now in another rabbit hole named lord of the rings; yes I joined the lotr fandom! i was lookin for more orlando bloom movies and found out he played legolas and I started the series just for him lol,, really though the lotr universe is so beautiful!! ive always loved fantasy universes but was too lazy to actually start something classic like lotr but now that i've done it im feeling the hyperfixation literally running through my veins!! I ordered silmarillion and im like this close to ordering all the books in Tolkien legendarium even though im nearly broke lmao. and my bi ass is in love with everyone, especially the elves, came just for legolas but staying for all the tolkien elves and faramir, eowyn, sam and aragorn 😭 really though, I have barely read silmarillion yet i am in love with elves like ecthelion and glorfindel too 😭

i can't wait read more of your lotr work, so far, I've only read haldir fic (it was so cute!) and hobbit/doctor who one and im in love with that one!! i spend so much of my time thinking what if I were to accidently end up in my current hyperfixation universe. will I survive actually? Will I even be able to make eye contact with my comfort characters, or speak to them? unless somehow I get some kind of superpowers or immortality, i would likely die in the first fifteen minutes for sure haha. can't wait to read the second part of that story and how doctor fits into the story! Also mgime trope is actually so fun to read! after this one, I went to ao3 for more and im so in love with this trope im thinking about writing one myself! 

Just realising, It's funny thing, joining new fandom tbh ; i remember scrolling through your page in March and i had no idea who any of the lotr characters or potc characters were but now im in love with the lotr&potc universe and its all i can think about. do you mind, if i ask you how do you balance fandoms thing? you're in so many fandoms and i always wonder how you love them/give them time equally even after having so many other fandoms. in recent years I've joined many fandoms but every time I join a new one, i start loving the new one so much i  completely stop even thinking bout the old one. and it's incredibly silly i know but I feel like I'm betraying/cheating my old fandom and my comfort characters in a way by hyperfixating on whatever my current fandom is. 

Speaking of hyperfixations, also so so excited for David tennant in the 60th specials!! And donna n wilf!! I too will have to finish 13's episodes before November though. btw did you see the bts pictures of 15 and the new companion Ruby? It seems like we're gonna get good history episodes with the new doctor !! 

Oh also!! It's been officially a year since I started reading your fics! And today 29 May actually marks the day(technically night ig) I read the last parts of dying girl series. I still remember that day, I had finished watching stranger things' then new episodes, I was already crying because of The max and vecna episode and I decided to torture myself more by reading the series and cried more lmao.

Ahh cant believe its been a year, i remember being anxious to send you my request and all those asks and now I am actually talking to you! I am so glad I decided to check out your blog last May, one of the best decision ive made! If it werent for you, i probably would've never further watched doctor who, or started potc and lotr/hobbit series and just Tolkien's work tbh. Ik I've said it a lot of times but really though, thank you so much for introducing me to all these movies, shows, books and ofc, your writing. I've loved every single second I've spent on your blog and while watching these tv and movie series, idk how to exactly word this because english isn't my first language, but the time spent on your blog and while watching the shows/movies really is best time I've spent in my boring life, I've felt more alive doing that than I actually had while living my "life". 

Oh and I'm glad you had fun writing my domestic fic request! I would also love to read about the reader and doctors' in between adventures, hope you write about it and honestly, I'd love to read whatever you write, even if it isn't full fics, just random stuff like headcanons or draft ideas you had! And I would request bout it but I've already requested two fics and honestly, my brain feels too disconnected from the fic to give you ideas kinda stuff for the fic. I guess, its time to reread the series ; I hope I can get through it this time without crying though 😭

I still haven't finished watching all the potc movies, only two or three because I got into lotr, but more will turner content from you? So excited!! And yeah It is surprising that I haven't watched the movies because they are classic! but they actually came out before I was born/when I was really young so I didn't get to watch them at that time, plus movies, especially from outside my country weren't as accessible so my brain focused on what I had, the barbie and disney movies and tv cartoons.

Sometimes I honestly can't believe that all the movies/TV series I'm hyperfixating over came out so long ago and that I am watching and obsessing over them after like 15-20 years, that really is a lot of time! but tbh, I feel like this is how it was meant to be, yknow? I was meant to love these movies and characters rn, because maybe I needed them now more than I did back then. And as I said, I was barely a kid and didn't even speak English language, even if I did get to watch all the movies I don't think I'd even understand them lol. 

Oh and I too love the pen pal things we have going, it's fun, isn't it? Really sorry for replying months late though, i wanted to write earlier but I have executive dysfunction so it's really hard to do even the simplest of things😭 next time i'll try not to be months late lol.

I just realised I wrote a lot lol, Thank you for reading the whole rambling, I hope the whole thing doesn't seem too diorganised to read . And yeah, Bye! hope you have good day/night or whatever time of the day you're reading this at<333

Hello mysterious anon!

I think our trend will now be just randomly replying to each other every few months because 100% we both have busy lives.

I feel weirdly proud to have instigated some of your new fandom hyperfixations, I am so obsessed with too many. It is really hard to spread all my love/attention to so many.

I think I look at it like phases. I will always return to my old loves, but depending on my mood or phase in life I'm drawn to a certain fandom. I started rewatching Criminal Minds a while ago and got so reinvested in the show that I started writing a series with Spencer Reid {it's like 21k words right now and I haven't decided if I'm posting it or not}

And I started watching The Crown, so I've fully entered another time period phase and I want to watch all things Jane Austen. I read Sense and Sensibility recently because of it. I think I'm going to watch Little House on the Prairie for the time period drama. I might watch Poldark or Outlander or Vikings for the same reason.

I agree it's hard to move on to another fandom when you feel you're neglecting the others. I try to refresh my brain of my old favorites, like I remember the day I mixed up Death Eaters and Dementors and I felt so ashamed that I reread the whole Harry Potter series just to remind myself.

I guess I just do my best to acknowledge all of them and then be patient when I'm fixating on only one in particular. I find a balance when I'm writing fics about them because I'll rewatch something so I can get a feel for the characters before I write about them. But sometimes it is hard to write a request for a character that I am not currently obsessed with.

I'm glad you passed your classes and are hopefully moving on to bigger and better things {I know you are fandom wise}. I haven't been writing much the last year, but I do still check my activity frequently. We'll see what and when I'll decide to post next.

But for now, I wish you luck in life and hopefully the comfort you'll get from your new potc and lotr friends will get you through some of the tough times.

💜 Hannah

[greenhikingboots]

heyo!! I'm not sure if you've already answered this because I don't have Tumblr and I keep getting blocked by the log in wall whenever I scroll too far. But why did you delete your old AO3 account and works? Where you getting bullied 😰 I know the jonsa ship and Sansa specifically is well hated...

Hey, anon. I haven't answered that before, so I'll give it a go now. I think it's neat that you're interested. I haven't had any issues with bullying apart from a few random comments on AO3 that were less about Jonsa and more about my writing choices. Whoops. I tagged that fic as a fix but still let Rickon die? My bad. I didn't realize I was supposed to anticipate the preferences of that one specific reader and not do that. *eye roll* That's just one example, but despite my snarkiness about it right now that kind of stuff doesn't actually bother me too much. It is what it is. So anyway. I deleted my old account more because I wasn't satisfied with my work, wasn't finding fulfillment in writing as a hobby anymore, realized I cared more than I wanted to about kudos and comments -- yeah, that kind of stuff. But mostly I felt a lot of self-inflected pressure to post updates quickly. And so my speed became too much a measure of my sense of self-worth. Lame. I took a break for a while, but I'm back to writing now with a healthier mindset. (Though, let's be honest, I still want those damn kudos!) If you don't already know, my new AO3 name is GreenHikingBoots. Since I write for both Jonsa and Dramione, I wanted a name that wasn't fandom specific. And I like the color green and I do a lot of hiking IRL. So there you go. Oh, I should probably clarify that everything I have published under that new name, apart from my current Jonsa WIP called Inevitable, was previously published on my old account (though edits have been made). Most of that is Dramione, though. Also, that isn't to say every old fic has been re-published. Two of my more popular works -- For Better Dreams (Jonsa) and Between the Lines (Dramione) -- are still in my Google Doc and will hopefully get re-published in the future. I'm working my way through shorter fic ideas first. For what it's worth, compared to how I used to do it, I now have firmer plot plans and more detailed first drafts before I start publishing. And I give more author's notes warning that updates may take a while. And those factors go a long way in helping me maintain this hobby in an enjoyable way. Basically, these days, I'm into slow and steady wins the race. Oh, come to think of it! Here's another thing I should have said sooner: major shout out to the Jonsa fanfic writers who take their sweet time publishing updates and the readers who are understanding of that. I didn't see that as much in the Dramione fandom, but I think seeing it here helped relieve a lot of my anxieties. I think that's about all I got on the topic. I'm not going to say TL;DR. But a summation? I'll try. Here goes: Fandom and fanfiction writing is supposed to be fun, not feel like work! I took some time away because I hadn't internalized that. I've since developed some better habits and saw some good examples of people who had internized the message, and that helped. Now I'm back and enjoying writing more than before. Yay! Thanks anon. This turned into a really rewarding thing to write about. Hope you don't mind me getting all philosophical. ;)

[actualbird]

hello hi!!! first of all i must say i'm eternally grateful for stumbling upon your fics on ao3 in my early days of playing ToT (less than a month i guess, too lazy to check rn haha), this was such a blessing, i mean, your writing is outstanding, to me you're a type of writer every fandom needs - keen in observing the characters and putting them to life, giving them additional depth with such skill. whew. anyway you're a blessing.

secondly i was scrolling through your blog here reading all i could abt marius because yeah, he's my #1 boy. lately i've been struggling with my perception of myself gender-related, not gonna go into detail bc it's not that important, anyways a lot of self-doubt and answers i can't find. but then. your posts about marius, the mc and your thoughts on their gender and behaviour, ways of expressing themselves, etc etc. and it had helped me enormously, you know. i tried many pronouns, names, ways of expressing myself, nothing clicked as right until i've read your posts about how both of them wouldn't care too much and just go as they are, i mean, i don't exactly remember the actual quote but you wrote how marius asked the mc if she's okay with him calling her she and miss and if she'd prefer any other pronouns, and she said nah i'm ok with miss still. and then i was like oh god wow, this exactly. i mean i don't HAVE to pick any specific pronouns or change my clothing style or start or stop putting more or less makeup on (im feminine afab and to put it shortly i'm ok with any look, gnc or not lol) it's just like that! that simple. so i'm forever grateful for this revelation, for the fact that i started playing this game and eventually found you. ty 💜 (also i'm sorry for my words choosing and whatever, english is my second language and i don't care much about grammar or sounding properly lol, and maybe if my message was too personal and i've dumped a lot of unneeded things on you. i'm sorry in advance for that also, you can ignore this mess of a message haha)

hello, anon!!

first off, no need to ever apologize for english trouble bc mood.

second off, thank you so much for your kind words on my writing :(((

and third off, i'd like to preface this response by giving a meme thats basically how i looked like as i read this ask

no frigging joke. tears in my eyes. ive been having a bad day today and a bad night yesterday, in regards to my writing so reading this just....it means a lot to me.

im so so honored that my works helped you figure out this part of yourself. truly and absolutely, your gender and expression of it doesnt need a strict label or rules if you dont want that. it's anything you want it to be, whatever makes you feel most like yourself. since i wrote those hcs, ive got the right to tell u marius and mc are so so happy for you. and i am too.

im just.....very very positively baffled to receive this ask at all. emphasis on positive. like i said earlier, ive been having a bad time irt how i feel about my writing kdsjbfsjg. most of it boiled down to the fact that not only is everything i make just like, not good writing, but also that it's useless and amounts to nothing.

and then i get this ask.

and it's not the first one of its kind ive received.

off the top of my head, ive received a dm from somebody telling me that my fanfiction years ago had inspired them to pursue writing in college and they were just accepted for a masters degree in creative writing. ive gotten a comment on a fanfic that said the story gave them the courage to confess to their crush and them and that other person have been together ever since. ive gotten asks like this telling me that my works helped them feel seen irt to gender, mental illness, or just like...being a person.

theres no way i can prove all these things happened in real life. ive got the messages and comments archived in chat histories or on this blog or on my ao3 comments, but these are words online, and stories can always be made up.

but if they are true then...huh.

it makes me feel honored.

im probably never going to get to the point where i'll see myself as a good person or where i stop doubting what i create, but if what i make can result in things like this, then man, what i think doesnt fucking matter. im not good but what i make can maybe, just maybe, result in good.

all this i ramblingly type to say thank you. from the bottom of my heart, thank you for telling me this.

i hope you have a wonderful day and a kind new year ahead of you, anon :')

[emeraldhazeart]

it's time to spread some love ✨ if you recieved this ask you are someone's favourite content creator, now it's your turn to tell us about your favourite ones, and what you love more about their content. you can send this ask, anon or not, to someone else so they can share their favourite people too! 💛

I'm so sorry this has taken me so long to reply to. I really do appreciate it, anon ❤️ This honestly made me want to cry when I saw it. Thank you! 💕

Here are just a few of my favourite tumblr blogs. Please know that I love each and every one of you, and if I didn't mention you here it's only because I don't have the time or ability to list you all.

@durotoswrites - such a kind, sweet person and a fantastic author. I am amazed at the quality and consistency of your writing. Whenever someone makes a disparaging comment about fanfiction, I will point to your work as a counter argument. Plus, you're just so sweet and encouraging all the time, and you've gone out of your way to make me feel welcome in this little community. Thank you!

@dougs-inn - you popped into the comments of my very first Bokumono fanfic and left me such a sweet, encouraging message that it motivated me to keep creating Bokumono fancontent. I honestly thought when I posted that one shot that no one would read it, but you were so kind and positive. Your continued support and encouragement means so much to me, and I can only hope to one day repay all your kindness. Oh, and your writing leaves me awestruck!

@acustardduckling - it has been so much fun getting to know you and following your content. I adore your art and your OCs are all so unique and interesting. Plus, it feels so relatable to read the experiences of another UK Bokumono fan!

@queasycake - I have never before had anyone private message me to thank me for liking one of their posts. It was honestly so wholesome and heart-warming! The world needs more positivity and encouragement like this, so please, go give them a follow!

@love-bokumono-fics - a wonderful resource for discovering new fanfic writers. I love scrolling through their weekly posts of new content and jumping over to Ao3 to read stories by authors I never would have discovered otherwise.

@applesandelephants (hmm, not sure why I can't tag you, sorry) - one of the first people to follow me on Tumblr. This honestly meant so much to me, especially because I was so new and barely had any content to show. Your support was so encouraging and appreciated. Thank you. It always makes me smile when I see your name in my likes.

Again, thank you so much, and I'm sorry I can't list every single blog here.

[unanuvola]

alright so i read your lipstick fic with sonny and it was absolutely b e a u t i f u l! i was just wondering if you could write something similar but with that the reader ASKED him to put on the lipstick and how he might react? totally fine if you don’t want to! no pressure!

Hey Anon! Thank you so much for reading I see your true colors (and that's why I love you) and for writing this message. I'm glad you like it and I really hope that you'll like this new story too. I'm really sorry for taking so long to write it, but (finally) here it comes!

(gif: @rynewind)

When Sonny came out from his home studio, he found you spread on the sofa with your face hypnotized on your phone. He rolled his eyes and continued on to the kitchen, stretching his limbs and back. Now that he was an ADA and his poor ass was stuck to a chair most of the day, he realized that he desperately needed to do something for his body and maybe, if he was lucky, you could join him.

He drank some water, then he sat down thinking about all the possible sports you could accept to do and, speaking frankly, they could be counted on the fingers of one hand. Sonny still remembered when you two started dating and one day you said triumphantly that you paid an annual membership for a gym next home, but then you spent the entire year in his bed because 'you're ten thousand better than that boring cardio class'. The mere memory made his legs shaking. So, gym was cancelled.

Maybe some dance lessons could be the right answer, however a flashback hit Sonny hard like a slap on his face. Rafael invited the squad in a cosy Cuban restaurant for his birthday, obviously Sonny asked to him if could invite you because he desperately wanted to show his friends the wonderful girl he had started dating. The conditions were good for a perfect night and perhaps he could find the courage to bring you to his home for the first time, but then the cosy restaurant turned out to be a place where after midnight the owners moved the tables away and people could actually dance salsa with a band playing live in the background. After a few tries and your don't worries every time he stepped on your toes, he spent the rest of the night watching you dancing with Rafael. Obviously you didn't went to his place and Sonny had to settle for jerking off at the thought of a threesome with you and Barba. Sonny shook his head like to erase that disastrous night from his memory. Dance lessons were cancelled, too.

Then, like a miracle, he remembered that time where you asked him, smirking, "What do you think if I start yoga? Maybe if I become a little more flexible it'll be more fun doing you know what…". This idea was quickly abandoned just like Sonny's fantasies of your legs spread open while he was pounding you deep.

"Doll?"

"Mmh?"

"What do you think of signing up for a partner yoga class?" he asked, joining you in the living room.

You hummed vaguely, your eyes fixed on the phone and fingers fast scrolling on the screen. Sonny looked at you with a mix of resignation and amusement. No matter how long he has known you, he'll always be genuinely amazed at your hyperfixation on the most varied things.

When you two first met, you were obsessed with Rule & Method: special case unit, in which a young and inexperienced detective, between one case and another, fell in love with a sarcastic and grumpy Puerto Rican ada. At the first you were reluctant to open up with Sonny, but a night he invented you home, asking you if you wanted to catch up the new episode of Rule & Method and you didn't make him say it twice. As soon as the episode ended, you began to throw up all your excitement on him and he was so glad that you felt comfortable to share that part of you with him. Sonny still remembered the moment he confided you that he was @thisdetectivelovesthepuertoricanada on ao3, the surprise on your face, your sparkle eyes and your bright red cheeks. You were so beautiful and Sonny was getting so hard by all your praises on his fanfictions that he pulled you toward himself and started to kissed you passionately.

After that you passed from watching all the musicals starring Raúl Esparza to reading the erotic saga of Tiffany Reisz in just four days and now you're obsessed by two Italians guys, a singer and his guitarist, who kissed at the Sanremo song festival. Obviously Sonny knew all these informations because you told them as soon as you saw a gifset on that hellsite called Tumblr. From that moment you started to listen to their song at least ten thousand times a day and to complain because you couldn't read fanfictions about them because you didn't speak a single word of Italian.

Sonny sat on the sofa and put your head on his legs, starting to stroke your hair. You finally laid down your phone and your eyes met with his, a smile spread on your faces.

"I still don't get what you find attractive about these two…"

"I thought your standard in men was higher, babe. Two charming men fighting patriarchy in fancy clothes and a glam makeup, kissing in a worldwide broadcast. Yeah, what's attractive about this? Maybe you have to start following them on Instagram," you answered, with closed eyes, enjoying his fingers caressing your scalp, "Did you watch the video where the singer put a red lipstick on guitarist lips? Hot."

"I didn't know you had a thing for men wearing makeup. If I've known, I would have told you about my punk rock band in high school. Leather jacket, a lot of black pencil under my eyes and yes, even lipstick. I think my mom has some pictures somewhere, next Sunday I'll show you!"

At those words, you sat up and looked to Sonny, who didn't know what was going on, but he knew for sure that you were ready to ask him something. He could tell by the way your eyes was shining and by that cute and lovely pout on your lips. Oh, how he would like to kiss away that pout and make you feel with his hands how much he loved you.

"I have a tons of questions that I want to ask you about that period of your surprising life, but right now most important one is," you cleaned your throat, "you have no problem with wearing makeup on you beautiful face, right?" you asked, your hand on his cheeks while you were gently stroking his lips with your thumb.

Sonny's heart was about to explode. You couldn't understand how much he loved feeling your fingers on his skin, just a little touch like that could take him off to the seventh heaven. "Of course not!" he said, trying to hide his state of bliss.

As soon as he pronounced those few words, you popped right up on your feet and run to the bedroom, leaving your boyfriend clueless about what you'll want to do. The wait was short because after just a few minutes later you run back, also risking to slip on the floor. Sonny was ready to catch you and tell you for the nth time that running through the apartment with just your socks wasn't a good idea, but then he heard your laugh as you sat on his lap and things went back to normal.

"So doll, what are you up to?"

"This!" you exclaimed, waving in front of him a lipstick. With a loud pop, you remove the cap, "A rich dark burgundy lipstick perfect for your pale skin and beautiful blue eyes."

Sonny couldn't react to these compliments because you were already astride on him, trapping his legs between your thighs. First you passed the sleeve of your hoodie on his lips for drying them, then you began to apply it.

So cute, Sonny thought looking at you. A small frown among your eyebrows, eyes fixed on his mouth while gently beating your lips. He could spend hours looking at you concentrated on the things you loved just like when you go down on him and you're too focused on his pleasure that you even forget about your own satisfaction. Suddenly Sonny felt his pants tightened.

"Et voilà!"

"How am I looking?"

"Handsome, as usual."

"Thanks," and he launched himself, open mouthed, toward you.

"Easy babe! You don't want to ruin your makeup, right?" you asked. Sonny was about to answer, but you were already on your feet, in front of him, "Ah, about the yoga partner thing… Yes, I can give it a chance. In fact, it just so happens that I know some positions that I can't wait to teach you."

"The sun salutation?"

"No, I was talking about the doggy one and maybe you can also smear that lipstick on me."

Sonny was really satisfied with that answer. In no time, he scooped you and put you on his shoulder, your ass up in the air. A loud spank made you yelped in surprise.

"I think that tonight we'll have the time to do a little bit more than just that. Prepare yourself for revisiting the entire kamasutra." and with that Sonny closed the door of your bedroom.

Thanks for reading ♡

N/A:

the two Italians guy are Achille Lauro and Boss Doms and the gifs are here and here

Read Tiffany Reisz's books!

English isn't my first language, please forgive any mistakes.

[safflowerseason]

I just finished Veep. What a terrible ending! You’re one of the only Veep blogs still active. Can you rec others? I’ll have to read fic to make me feel better

hate what happened to Dan and Amy. But I really hate how Selina took down Tom James. It’s so insulting in the Me Too world. The show did not handle sexual assault well at all unless it’s Jonah and that was ruined too with Teddy coming back.

Anon, you’ve come to the right place to feel your feelings about Veep’s final season. Welcome!

I highly recommend @wecouldstillbegreat ’s blog as a wonderful and detailed archive for all things Veep (with a heavy emphasis on DanxAmy fare). It includes virtually all the discussion that’s taken place on Tumblr as well as content from the show’s press tours and other interviews with the cast and crew. Longer posts with critical analysis from Tumblr users are tagged with the keyword “analysis” (I think), so if you search that tag, you should be able to go through those types of posts really easily. But also you could just scroll through, read everything, and you’d get a really comprehensive and detailed history of all the conversation around the show :-) You would also see the main blogs that were producing Veep content while the show was airing. 

wecouldstillbegreat also reblogs links to Veep fanfiction, and there’s plenty more to be found on the AO3 Veep page if you haven’t already checked it out yet. 

Some other single-fandom Veep blogs that come to mind are @rhrsoulmates and @kingdannyegan, but they are much less active now. I’m sure there are others that I’m missing, but I didn’t become active on Tumblr until after the show ended, so my knowledge in this area is unfortunately quite limited.

As for me, I’m just trying to keep my little corner of the fandom going, mostly by ignoring S7 entirely and creating an intricate alternate universe where Dan and Amy had a kid and settled down into a twisted happily-ever-after. As long as there is an audience, I’ll be here writing critical analyses (and fanfiction) for anyone who wants to get their Veep fix.

Regarding Veep’s final season and the Mandel years of the show, sexism, sexual assault, and sex within politics has definitely been a big theme of the discussion here, since one of the biggest discernable shifts in the two different eras of the show is how Mandel approached these concepts vs. how Iannucci approached them. @thebookofmaev especially has written eloquently about this theme, both on her blog and in her fanfiction. In brief, Mandel’s handwaving of Teddy’s harassment of Jonah, his implication that all sexual harassment and abuse claims are tools by women to get at men, and the way he punished Amy the character are all deeply depressing shifts in the way that the show framed women, sex, and gender in politics.  

While I felt like it was a plausible ending for Tom and Selina to have one of them destroy the other politically, the way it happened was the complete opposite of compelling, considering the circumstances. On top of the unsettling MeToo reversal, the whole situation also leaves the audience with the impression that Tom’s relationship with Michelle is A-OK. 

Again, wecouldstillbegreat’s blog is a great place to find all the posts about those themes in one spot. May-September 2019 were also the peak months of the post-S7 Tumblr support group discussion, if you want to go though the archives on my blog. Other big topics of discussion on here include what happened to Dan’s character (*sigh*), and also how the show was changed by the Trump era of American politics.

Hopefully this is enough to get you started on a Veep/Tumblr rabbit hole. And of course, my inbox is always open if you want to chat 🌻 

[azookiex3]

Confidence [Lucifer&F!Reader]

Request: Anon - Hello! Can you write a Lucifer fic where the (F) reader has a gruesome scar on her face & her confidence/attitude is basically “take it or leave it” & this helps Lucifer with his own self image with his Devil face? It can be fluff, angst, smut, whatever you want.

AN: I need to write faster ^-^""". Hope you enjoy Anon! 

Description: Apparently, trying to find a boyfriend was much more difficult than becoming a model with your scarred up face. Who knew?

AO3 , Fanfiction Net , Wattpad

Rating: Teen

Warnings: Swearing 

-------------------------------------------------------------

Your phone alarm goes off.

"Time to get ready." You breath out. You stretch your arm to grab your phone off the little table next to you and turn the alarm off. You stretch out on your patio lounge chair, cracking a few bones in your back. You finish off the rest of your glass of wine and stand.

Walking inside of your penthouse you grab the stereo remote and play your favorite tone, "Confident" by Demi Lovato. After a quick trip to your kitchen to dispose of the glass in the dishwasher you walk into your bedroom and into the bathroom. After a quick shower to rid yourself of sunscreen smell you wrap a robe around yourself and start styling your hair. You then put some light makeup on and head to your walk-in closet.

You stand there, tapping your foot to the song as you look around at your clothes. 

You had faith in your blind date tonight. This was the first guy to take you somewhere expensive. You're hoping that means he'll have better class than just blatantly stare at your face the whole night. 

You've heard of the place that he's taking you to: a VIP bar named LUX. You've never been to it, mainly because a man who calls himself the "Devil" runs the place, and clearly anyone whose psycho enough to call themselves that has to have an awful establishment.

But the reviews you've seen have all been five stars, and after scrolling through the comments section for about an hour no one said anything bad about the place. 

They also all praised the owner.

You decide on a short, tight, red lace dress with half long sleeves. You pair it with black high heels and various black pieces of jewelry. You receive a text from your date saying he's arrived, and after spraying on some perfume as well as one final check in the mirror you head on down.

Please, be the one.

--------------------------------------------

He was not the one.

The poor guy tried his best, though. Making sure his eyesight was trained on the road and not your scarred/burned up side of face that was next to him. You gave him an hour and allowed him to buy one drink before you told him this wouldn't work out.

He even apologized. The gall, really.

"I'm surprised you let it last that long. Didn't look like fun at all." 

You raise your one brow up at the man who now sat next to you at the bar. Tall, dark, handsome, wore an expensive suit and a smile as he sipped his drink.

"It wasn't. Nothing new for me though." You say as you take another sip of your drink.

The man hums in response, then holds out one hand to you, "Pardon me, darling. Lucifer Morningstar."

Oh great. You politely shake his hand back, "Y/N L/N."

"Of course you are. The beautiful new upcoming model." His smile turns flirtatious.

You roll your eyes, "Please. Don't blatantly lie in your flirtations just to make me feel better."

Lucifer looks offended, "I'm not trying to make you feel better at all. You said this was a natural occurrence for you, shame really, and you look fine. Also, I never lie." 

"Never? That's hard to believe."

"For you humans, perhaps." He chuckles at the look on your face, "Right. The name doesn't lie, dear. I am the Devil."

"Uh huh." You turn back to rest your elbows on the bar and continue your drink. 

"Typical reaction." His smile dims slightly, "Do you not believe you're beautiful?"

"Of course I believe I'm beautiful." You look back at him offended, "Which is why I don't need you men to continue saying it like I don't know or believe in it."

"Oooh, feisty. Perfect." His flirtatious smile is back.

"So, why are you here Mr. Morningstar, if not to think you'd make me feel better?" You swirl your drink in the glass and study him.

"I thought I'd give you a better date." He gestures his body, "Myself!" 

What Lucifer Morningstar expected was the normal flushed face and glossy eyes that humans usually give him when he flashes his smile and eyes.

Instead, you laughed.

And laughed.

The Devil had never been more confused in his whole life, "Well, this is a new reaction to me." He mutters.

"You?" It takes a while, but you manage to speak again, "What makes you think I'd want to date you?"

"Uh, have you looked at me, darling?" He gestures to himself once more, "I'm beautiful, rich, have impeccable style, and confidence to match your own. Surely that's all the qualities you're looking for?"

You laugh again, "You? Confidence?" You continue to laugh.

Lucifer was getting annoyed now, "I'd very much like to know what's so funny!"

After calming down again you look him dead in the eyes, "I, in no way, see confidence in you Mr. Morningstar."

The Devil is speechless.

"You're clearly a man who hides behind the Devil facade to make people love and fear him. I see nothing 'Devil' about you." You get up from your seat and collect your purse, "Thanks for the laugh. Good night 'Mr. Morningstar'." You leave the dumbfounded man.

"See?" A few minutes after you left Mazikeen walks up from behind the bar to collect your empty glass. Lucifer still sat where he was and his eyes were still trained on the door you left from, "Even humans are starting to see how soft you've become."

The Devil looks to his demon bodyguard. She gives him a stank eye and smile before walking away. Lucifer looks back to the door.

"I am the Devil." He mutters quietly to himself. He then gets up and retreats to his penthouse for the rest of the night.

--------------------------------------------

You suppose one thing Mr. Morningstar got correct in his "Devil" play is that the Devil never leaves you alone when he finds you. 

Which is why you aren't too surprised to catch his figure behind the flashing cameras. 

"Mr. Morningstar." You nod a hello to him when your photo shoot finally finished. 

"Ms. L/N." He smiles at you and follows you to your changing room.

You sit down in front of your vanity and start taking off the accessories and wiping off the makeup, "So, this face of mine couldn't leave your mind, I take it?"

"Oh absolutely! Not in the way your thinking though." You watch him from the mirror come to stand behind you. He smiles at your reflection and leans in behind you, "I do hope you couldn't get my face out of your mind either, darling."

You weren't going to admit how the past few nights your dreams had been about him. You suppose his strong sex appeal is another thing he got right in his Devil act.

You raised an eyebrow in response to his reflection, and apparently that's all an answer he needed. His face became incredibly smug.

"Why are you here Mr. Morningstar?"

"To ask for your assistance Ms. L/N."

You look at his reflection quizzically, "With?"

"Confidence." 

Your eyebrow raises, "Why come to me?"

"Because clearly you must be a master at it if you think I, the Devil, lacks it."

You watch him carefully in the mirror for a moment. You see him fidget with his ring slightly and notice how his eyes looked away for a second when he asked. Asking for help with this clearly upsets him in some way.

You grab a napkin from your vanity and write down your address. You stand and face him while holding out the napkin, "Here's my address. Meet me there. I should be there within the hour."

He takes it and pulls on a flirtatious look, "If this is your kind of help I should definitely be a master at confidence."

You shake your head and look at him seriously, "If you seriously want my help with your confidence then meet me there and lose the flirtations." You cross the room and open the door, "Now please excuse me while I change."

--------------------------------------------

"I see you enjoy living the high life as well." Lucifer comments as you open the door to your penthouse.

"Figured I deserve it with the life I've had." You reply as you set your things down on your coffee table. You notice Lucifer staring at you with that unspoken question most people ask, "Go ahead."

"I don't much care how that happened to you, but more whoever did that has been punished." Lucifer looks genuine in his anger, and that makes you open up more to him.

"Yeah, I'm making sure they are." You head into your kitchen to pour yourself and Lucifer a glass of wine. You hand him his glass and continue, "Parents. They're low life dealers who used their 'accident' to pass around their drugs. Cops don't suspect a little girl." You take a sip of your wine while Lucifer just holds the glass and watches you, "I stupidly said how I wanted to be a model when I grow up, and they freaked. If I go so does their business. So," you gesture the left side of you scarred and burned face, "real life 'Two Faced' was made."

"Where are your parents now?" Lucifer's voice was tight, and you notice the grip on his glass tighten.

"Jail. Where I make sure they'll be for the rest of their lives."

"That's good enough for you?"

"Why wouldn't it be? I ruined their perfect little drug life business and made a name out of myself. That's 'punishment' enough, knowing their fucked up faced accident will have a better life than them."

"I see." Lucifer looks down at his glass and downs it to calm himself, "We happen to have something in common, my dear." He sets the glass down on your counter.

"Oh?"

"Yes...my Father gave me a scar of sorts. A new face to represent my unholy deeds."

"I don't see it."

"...I hide it."

"And that's your problem." You set your glass down and motion for him to follow you, "It took a long time for me to be comfortable with this new face. I've learned you need to push through and work with what you got to have a comfortable life."

You lead him through your bedroom and walk-in closet to the secret door behind some old clothes. You open the door and step into a tiny room of infinite mirrors.

"This helped me a lot." You say as you step inside the small space and spin around. "Anywhere I look I can't escape this face, this past of mine. I have to own it. I have to love it in order to live." You step out of the room and to the side, "Bring out your scars. Face them head on. You can't escape from them. Their your life. Own them."

Lucifer takes a deep breath in and out. He tugs on his suit jacket and cufflinks before entering the mirror world and closing the door. 

--------------------------------------------

Enough time passes for you to become hungry. You decide to start making dinner for yourself, and Lucifer, while you continue to wait. When you start making up plates is when he finally emerges.

"This is...more difficult than I thought." He says to you as he goes to stand on the other side of your kitchen island.

"No one can do it in one day." You turn around and hand him a plate of food, "But I already see a difference in you. Not quite the 'Devil' you claim to be, but a man taking the first step into his self consciousness."

He accepts the food and sits on a stool, "Not sure where I can put a room like that in my home."

"You don't have to. You're free to come over whenever to face it." You sit down next to him and give him a small smile, "I'd like to watch the progress, and hopefully see this 'Devil'."

"It's more hideous than I realized, darling. You'd become a melting pool of fears if you saw it."

"I have my own Devil, Lucifer." You take a bit of food, "I think I'd be fine."

"Hm." He starts eating his food, "We'll see about that."

--------------------------------------------

Months go by. Lucifer's visits to you and your mirror room become more regular as his time with the LAPD becomes less. His edge and sharpness returns. His cockiness and King nature return in full force. Detective Decker tells her partner to not come back until he's back to normal.

But this is his normal, he realizes. He's the Devil. Why would the Devil let a human woman change him into the man his Father desires?

He doesn't care. He enjoys his time with you more and more. He enjoys how you accept him, the bad and good mixed together.

Today's the sixth month he's been doing this experiment. He's currently standing in you mirror room. Devil face on. He smiles.

"Are you ready, darling?" He calls out.

"Yes, Lucifer. Show me your scars. Show me your confidence."

He exits the room. Devil still on along with the smile. It takes you a moment, but you smile back and wrap your arms around his neck. His arms wrap around your waist and he pulls you tight against him.

"Now there's the confidence I'm looking for in a man. I'd like that date now."

[onlyonewoman]

A little writer’s rant

I’ve been writing fan fics since May 2016 in three fandoms: Black Sails, Animal Kingdom and now recently Sons Of Anarchy on ao3. I love it. I really do and one of the reasons for that, is that I work professionally with writing in another area since many years but am currently longterm ill and unable to work since quite a long time.  Fan fiction made me discover the fun in writing again, after a long time of serious and very unhealthy stress, partly due to my work with writing professionally.  As a writer - or any kind of artist or creative worker - you’re doing A LOT of work in silence, alone and very often unpaid. You’re constantly reading, re-reading and editing your works, struggling with motivation, lack of inspiration and often lack of time. Money very rarely is a thing you can count on, even if you’re writing professionally, since we value culture work and journalism low, thinking the Internet somehow just makes the art and newspapers happen with some Googling, a blog, a good phone camera, one hell of an inspiration and lots of time having fun while imagining stories. It doesn’t. Trust me, it really doesn’t. It’s easy to critisize, especially if you don’t know how much work writing means. It’s even easier to critisize anonymously, not having to face the author. It’s so easy to take free art for granted - I sometimes fall in that trap too, then realising after a while how entitled it is of me to be irritated when I don’t get an update I want soon enough.  That’s when I sit down and remembers fucking 90′s when we still used Altavista, had limited Internet access paid by minute and neither Youtube, Ao3, Google, Facebook nor Tumblr was a thing and surfing on a phone was unheard of. Art isn’t produced differently when it comes to effort and inspiration, only because it’s easier to share, spread and get access to now, okay? And it’s definately not easier to make money on it, quite the opposite.  When I write fan fiction, I give myself a break from the stress of producing something creative professionally for a very uncertain pay. It’s a way to indulge myself, to have fun and explore things I normally don’t write about. It’s my way of being able to share things with others without having to put my face and name on it. Fan fic writing is pleasure based for me and a happy place and that’s why I never leave negative comments on others fics. But, isn’t that unhelpful, you might think? Isn’t it good to help authors getting better at what they’re doing? Isn’t that important in fanfics? To that, as a professional writer, I’d like to say: different types of writing, different reasons for writing, means different approaches to feedback.  I repeat: when I read a fic on ao3, I never, ever leave a negative comment because I don’t know who this person behind the account is. He/she might have fanfic writing as the thing making them through really bad days, a life crisis, loneliness, huge amount of stress or a shitty family situation. As a professional writer, I don’t feel it’s my place as a reader to point out things I personally don’t like with a story unless I’m asked to. If I come across a story I don’t like, I don’t comment because fanfic forums aren’t a fucking writers class with degrees and diplomas and I’m not paying shit to read all the amazing stories people across the world post there.  You have to understand this: if you’re not paying for the art you’re consuming, your demands on the artist simply must be different than the ones on something you’ve paid for.  To put it simple: people working for free without any demands on you, serving you something for free for you to enjoy and take part in entirely on your terms from your phone or computor without having to do anything but scroll through a list of search results, may not appreciate, be helped by or feel the slightest grateful for a comment declaring how much YOU think their work suck. I know I don’t. I feel sad, insecure, attacked and small when that happens because I’m only human. And one more thing: for you who left the comment declaring my first work in a new fandom wasn’t to your liking and that my very me-style out of character trademark and my way of describing the feelings of a character, suffering from severe PTSD, made you “really uncomfortable”, I have an advice: I once read a story called “My Husband’s Rules” in the Supernatural fandom - I’ve never even watched the series - and I got totally hooked and completely disgusted, confused, swept away, happy and just uncomfortable as hell.  You know what I did? I took my responsibility as a reader, knowing fully well that I read this on my own free will and that the increadibly uncomfortable feelings I got, probably wasn’t a case of the writer being sadistic, but me being very affected in a most unexpected way. I wrote a comment, telling the author that I’d been hooked on this story all night, that I cringed from some of it and that I was totally fucking amazed by how he/she managed to make me feel so much I hadn’t expected. I can tell you it was very much appreciated.  If my story simply wasn’t to your liking, that’s fine, but neither me nor anyone else on ao3 or other fanfic forums, are writing our stories for free only to get bashed because you feel uncomfortable and/or didn’t read the tags.  I still feel hurt by your comment, anon reader Kokin, because I’m only human and you were rude and hurtful. Maybe it wasn’t your intention and if it wasn’t, you can just respond to the answer I gave your comment and tell me that.  To others reading this, please remember how important it is to make sure that the fanfic author actually asks for criticism before you point out things you don’t like - and when you do that, do it nicely. Fanfiction is supposed to be fun and just a little kindness goes a very long way.