#eltingville confessions

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

I think people baby Jerry a bit too much. Like yes, he is the most morally correct and nicest of the group but that doesn’t mean we wasn’t a part of the group! He’s said some CRAZY stuff in the comic and also participated in the fights that broke out between them. He’s not some smol autistic bean who does no wrong, he’s a freak too!

Justice for my boy Jerry✊😔

[axeltr342]

Eltingville confession anons cowards in a nutshell

Over time the posts from that blog became more and more toxic, even when the author supposedly """ensures""" that it doesn't end up that way, but they obviously didn't care about that with their last post:

This take is very condescending towards both the fandom and Evan Dorkin, is genuinely concerning how butthurt you can be over people just having fun and expressing interests for the things they like.

Can we agree that the reason behind this take is really stupid? The fandom knows what Evan himself states: what he says are just possibilities. It is genuinely ridiculous to think that people being interested about what Evan has to say about a topic is somehow being a "gotcha seeker" or being "short on imagination".

Also can we talk about how every time people like this talk about this topic they always try to larp they are a better fan? Why are you so confident in saying that Evan doesn't like being asked by fans even tho he already stated multiple times that he likes it? How much of an idiot you have to be in order to call other people "lazy fans" for having an interest while the only thing you do is complain?

This may seem like a "man yell out at cloud" moment, but this is part of a bigger concern which is the little to no care from the blog's author and how they even break their own rules.

Like I said before, they don't even try to ensure that the confessions follow their own rules, even when the people behind them don't even sugarcoat the toxic intentions behind said takes.

As a result, the blog tends to casually bring a "safe space" for people to post and normalize toxic behavior and fantasies.

If you really want to make an anonymous blog something entertaining and interesting, then don't make it a safe place for cowards to throw their takes without any consequence just for the sake of content and attention.

[glitterystarfishcomputer]

so sorry for saying this guys but I feel like pete is the type of guy to call goth women mommies and blatantly fetishize them

[theeltingvilleconfessors]

i need pete NOW...... why can't he be real......

I feel like i know who you are

I agree with you anon but that's mostly cause it's REALLY hard to find people into extreme horror and all that gorey weird shit. Im a big personality people person. People who are just friggin weird. Also staten island is close enough to new england area to where it puts a little smile on my face

[r0yalgrimmartz]

I'm sorry to my mainly yugioh(GX) moots but I need to get this out of my system. Might he one and done thing but the fixation is crippling,,,

She's such a horrible mean BITCH. But I love her...

Basically you know the drill, rich popular, bully mean girl type. Except she might be hanging on by a thread with her uhhh less than favourable tendencies. She's selfish, knows all the gossip thanks to her two "friends", has all the black mail, at throats with Bill on the daily and probably gives him wedgies and shoves him into lockers😐 Then again Bill once tried putting thumb tacs on her seat...only for Taylor notice and later try shoving them in his mouth.

I'd like to think if the pilot did get picked up...and Taylor was in the show, her and Bill would join evil forces and team up once. ONCE. Then go back to being repulsed by one another.

((This isn't my regular art style I'm just trying to mimic Welcome to Eltingville's pilot art style))

- EDIT -

AND ANOTHER THING

Taylor probably gave the eltingville club guys brownies once...left them outside of Bill's home and ran off, faking it as some "love confession thing"...of course the boys ate some...there was laxatives in the brownies. Brownies laced with laxatives. Half an hour later was a war zone for the toilet.

Taylor still laughs at that to this day.

[probably-a-plant-thing]

Axel is an idiot, good on u for blocking. I never interacted with him and he randomly contacted me over discord to call me disgusting and saying no one likes me bcs of the things I reblogged (normal fanart) this guy is 21, im a young teen. Idk how he got my tumblr either lol

Jeez. I'm sorry ya had to deal with that.

Honest to God I think my confession must've hit a personal nerve. Like he was one of the "lazy fans" I was talking about... strange.. anyway. I'll admit I was trying to start a fire in the fandom but more of one in the line of starting general discussion. I didn't expect a callout post that dumb lmao.

The fact he connected me from >:]c is so insane. Like cool, I did do that on purpose, but the most I wanted were some silly hate anons I could laugh at.

Tbh Axel was projecting on me pretty hard in the responses. Calling me a superfan or someone "wanting to make a change" was wild bro. Like... yeah. I'm so clearly a big eltingville fan, I draw them all the time n have them all over my blog.. Also the 12 y/o admitted to being his friend!? Like wild. Imagine literally admitting to the wack shit I insinuated!

And I can tell they're a child because they unironically think groomer = pedo. I never called Axel a pedo. I went "Ok groomer" after he dodged my question on why a 21 y/o man is friends with a 12 y/o. (Bonus points for his friend to imply my partners victim status didnt count because he was on my side. Such an ally)

Hope he gets help but clearly he shouldn't be in this small a fandom if that's how he's gonna behave. Not to mention he plays victim. Like bro, ya think it occurred to him that I simply didn't know he existed? And never would have if someone didn't send me it?

Whatever. I hope I live in his head rent free, it's the least I deserve.

[therealfroggymagician]

Guys.. I have a confession to make...

This is my ao3... and I updated my stupid gay people fic

[adultswim2021]

Welcome to Eltingville: “Bring Me the Head of Boba Fett” | February 26, 2002 - 4:00 AM | Special

Lots of personal baggage to unpack on this one, so please forgive what will surely read as a personal blog post:

Welcome to Eltingville was the first of Adult Swim’s “failed pilots” which aired as a special. It’s failed in the sense that it didn’t get picked up, presumably for being too expensive. It originally aired as a stealth premiere at 4:00AM on Monday night/Tuesday morning, I’m assuming to fulfill a contractual agreement. It had a “for real” advertised premiere on March 3rd, which is what you’ll find cited on various web sources.

It’s time I confess something here: I didn’t like this show the first time around. The early 2000s was a time when “nerd” culture was being clumsily embraced as a novelty. People suddenly started gravitating towards movies and shows about nerds, all usually portrayed in a cutesy and toothless way. Yes, I was too blinded by my own shunning of this trend to realize that this show was the antithesis of that. And yes, I was unfamiliar with the original comics that these were based on, which probably would have blown my mind if I was aware of them in the 90s. Hell, I would have shunned a Dan Pussey cartoon if I weren’t already in love with Dan Clowes comics.

Was it all overblown in my own head? Well, I can only come up with two examples to illustrate my distaste for “nerds stuff”, so yes, it probably was. First, Super Nerds, which was a 2000 pilot staring Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn as two nerds who worked at a comic book store. I was sold on it by a friend as being the best sitcom he’d ever seen in his life. I also loved Patton Oswalt and Brian Posehn. But good lord, did I hate that show, a lot. The more mainstream example is the Comedy Central show Beat the Geeks, a trivia game show where normal people compete against experts (or geeks) in certain fields (usually popular culture related). The promos showed the geeks in question strutting around and ironically looking cool and triumphant. These promos were so profoundly unfunny to me that I found it insane and offensive when the whole “geek” angle seemed to hook other members of my family. “there’s this game show where guys have to compete... against GEEKS! haw haw!” I can still hear my dad’s voice echo in my head. I still hate it!

I also didn’t relate to traditionally geeky things, like superhero comics, science fiction/fantasy, etc. I hated all of that stuff, and I still mostly do (did I go through a multiple year phase in my early 30s where I tried to force myself to like super hero comics? Yes! I did! It didn’t particularly take). I am absolutely a comedy nerd, though, which is a much MUCH lonelier pursuit.

Hell, the comedy nerd isn’t even an archetype on TV shows; Freaks and Geeks came fairly close, but those guys also liked sci-fi and role-playing games and stuff. Square Pegs also had a comedy nerd character. There was that episode of Undeclared where Martin Starr is boring the rest of the cast by trying to explain that Freddy Got Fingered was an intelligent anti-comedy (the closest I’ve ever seen myself be portrayed on screen). All of these shows lasted one season, making the comedy nerd character the most potent poison since (NOTE TO SELF: google FAMOUS FICTIONAL POISONS, please pick a cool non-nerdy one [leave note-to-self in write-up if coming up with one is impossible {will come off as intentional meta-humor (everyone will love this)}]).

Welcome to Eltingville is about four friends who have created The Eltingville Comc Book, Science-Fiction, Fantasy, Horror, and Role-Playing Club. They’ve presumably been together for a long time when this episode starts, and we see the dynamics of the club right away, the main thing being the constant petty bickering that quickly becomes violent and destructive. They’re all gigantic jerks who presumably only hang with each other because nobody else will. The main conflict of this show has to do with Bill, the Stan of the group, and Josh, the Cartman, who eventually come to blows over a rare Boba Fett doll-- I mean, figure. The first half of the show is a pretty good introduction to the would-be-series, with the guys playing a D&D style role-playing game and then getting into a full-fledged fist-fight over a VHS compilation of nude scenes that turns out to be a recording of the Hair Bear Bunch. The second half is an adaptation of the comic story “Bring Me The Head of Boba Fett”. Had I thought of it I might have read the entire run of Eltingville Club comics before reviewing this. Unfortunately it was a bit of an afterthought so I just read the first two stories, including the Boba Fett one. For the record, I own the Eltingville book, and definitely read and loved the two-issue series that serves as the ending of the Eltingville comics. It’s all those comics in the middle I still need to get to.

The show is very funny and it looks beautiful. According to the few interviews that I’ve found regarding the show (including a page of text found in the Eltingville book, which precedes a section showing off some of the character design sheets), there really wasn’t much reason given for the show not getting picked up. The show definitely looked better than anything else on Adult Swim, so the whole “too expensive” thing seems like as good an assumption as any. Apparently Dorkin spread himself too thin working on this, attempting to design/draw every little thing seen on screen. I actually wondered that while watching the show, because his art style is faithfully preserved here, which is great! The episode ends the same way the comic story does, with Bill & Josh in a trivia-off, competing over the buying rights for a 12 inch Boba Fett action figure at their local comic shop. With every rewatch of this show I confront one basic thing about myself, and it’s how much of the trivia I’ve picked up since the last rewatch. Bill & Josh’s trivia-off is a flurry of questions regarding all kinds of geek garbage, and the few years between viewings of this results in me knowing a few more answers. But, I have the internet, and can usually get hold of a movie or TV show or comic book almost instantly. It’s important to not lose sight that these kids (especially in the comics) are either high-school or college-aged and they learned all of this shit in an era when the internet wasn’t as ubiquitous as it is today. The original comic is set firmly in 1994, and when there’s a dispute over a question Josh runs home to get a large Godzilla reference book to prove that he’s correct. This changed in the pilot to Josh losing on a technicality with a slip-of-the-tongue; attributing a famous catchphrase to a fellow club-member who had adopted it for himself (the comic actually SEEMS to set this up, but doesn’t go in that direction at all, which is weird when you read it AFTER watching this special. I think that means the cartoon improved on that idea).

Wikipedia makes no mention of this stealth broadcast. It would SEEM to make more sense that it aired Monday morning following late night Sunday, but Adult Swim ended at 1AM back in these days, making early Monday morning still technically “out of bounds”. In fact, I very nearly “corrected” the air date to reflect this, but a quick google search for “Welcome to Eltingville” + “4AM” yielded this message board thread where we can see in real time that early Tuesday morning is indeed correct. So, if you’re ever arguing over a 12 inch Boba Fett feel free to uses this trivia in your trivia off.

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

ykno I was going to say "pete should've been at the gay club" but now im remembering his behavior and paraphilias and....... maybe it was for the best. maybe it wasn't. maybe it would've saved him and we would see pete dinunzo with a golden earring and a cockring necklace. maybe he should've been at the therapists office instead. what am I even saying anymore. just execute me via lethal injection

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

for some reason I can see them becoming bronies . Like at first they hate MLP because it’s ’girly shit’ but then they hate watch it (because of course they do) and now they’re like the most unbearable bronies fighting little girls for MLP figures 😭😭

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

my best friend just told me that i look like bill dickey and i just. i quit forever. dont @ me im wailing and sobbing all night tonight. i feel violated

[denubra]

This is so real dude, the person who said this, you are a real one

I need to smoke a blunt with the northwest comix collective crew. Getting high with them would probably be the funniest shit ever.

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

*I take my breath* I NEED BILL DICKEY EPILOGUE BOTS AND FANFIC!!! PEOPLE PLEASE, I’M LOOKING FOR IT BUT IT’S RARE OR A LITTLE BIT… I KNOW, HE IS UGLY AND DISGUSTING!!! BUT I LOVE HIM (you like him, it depends on the people). IF YOU DO THAT, YOU ARE AN ANGEL OR A GOD!!!

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

i miss talking here about how much i love Rodney😭

i dont know what happend to me that i asked evan too abt my selfship and if he could date someone like "me"

I NEED RODNEY CRABBEEEEEE

(His name sounds like crab)

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

I'm literally mad at literal 20+ year olds making smut fics about the characters "But they're 18!!" SHUT UP THEY'RE STILL A TEENAGER. PLUS THERES LITERALLY THE EPILOGUE VERSIONS OF THEM. WHY MAKE SMUT FICS ABOUT THE 18 YEAR OLD VERSIONS??? These fucking weirdos genuinely gross me out so bad

[eltingvilleclubconfession]

Jerry’s vocal stim is “bee-dee bee-dee bee-dee” and ppl fail to realize that…. Jerry ur so special to me in both ways