#I feel like I've only ever been able to exist off this plane. I exist in this liminal state I exist most freely when unwanted

[blackvahana]

Yeah. Man. I'm just sitting here remembering I've been doing this my entire life. I feel like there was a patch I wasn't, part of the teen years, and that's either I've forgotten because trauma orrrr something else but

No wonder I've never felt anchored on this plane. But it doesn't matter, well, no, it matters a lot, but this life is just constantly isolating in how it works so I will keep the talk of not fitting in here and what being weirdly one got in one foot out has done to talking to myself lmfao but... I remember. I remember being in the garden as a really young child and I'm not a young child. I'm this chimaeric fairy-type thing of swirling and bulging colours like a psychedelic faceted-insect-eye's led trip, four or more wings of different types that are again, so ungrounded, so psychedelic, vivid. Not uncertain. Not half-formed. Fully formed, the starbeing in me just barely contained in the shape of the human-pretending-to-be-a-fae it's pretending to be

I remember so much, actually, and it's. it's just weirdly melancholic....? Maybe not melancholic, but it's so sad and I don't know why. Actually. I mean I've been trying to piece it together for like twenty minutes now but... People get a little irritated at me for being very "you don't understand and no one sees me" but like. I have lived an entire life walkinv streets where no one sees me. It's very complicated, there's. mental health stuff in there because of course I've come across a lot of spirits but I have bad issues seeing people as real but like. Man yeah no I am a snail and one part of me can be physically seen but the other has always been on the other side

[dragons-and-dwarves-are-nice]

The Grim Reaper's Guide to Breaking Every Rule of the Universe /// Prologue

I'm not super happy with this prologue but I've done my best with it :'). Also I gave God He/They pronouns. Enjoy!

Summary: When touring America for the sake of it, you go to stay with your aunt in New Orleans for a while, taking up a peaceful part-time job restoring objects. But a few weeks in, a package arrives containing an old radio that's seen better days, along with a note seemingly written by someone who thinks they could fist-fight the Devil.

What you didn't know, was the hell of a path that was now set out in front of you. Not fist-fighting the Devil, but instead a very smug radio host who would have no problem spending the rest of his days driving you up the walls.

But two could play that game.

Tags: Demiromantic-Asexual Alastor x Demiromantic-Asexual OC/Reader - 1920s/30s New Orleans - fluff - angst - EXTREME slow burn - crack - Violence (It's Alastor what else)

Word Count: 1227

Warnings: Uhhhh idk unless you count God as one.

Taglist - comment or message to be added!

Now available on Wattpad and AO3 (please let me know if links aren't working)

Prologue // Chapter 1 >

Prologue

Before time began, there was her.

Cælitis (Definition): The divinities who dwell within the celestial planes. (Noun)

The Universe – The Beginning

Perhaps it was a coincidence, or a mistake, or there was something far greater beyond the confines of the ever-expanding walls of the universe. They had accepted solitary, thinking they were the only one, the first, when they awoke to a dark abyss, with the veins of creation pulsating at his fingertips. This was what God thought when they reached out for the first time, light bursting from within, shooting out and collecting into a colossal sphere. A star, he had named it, and he had much fun for who knows how long, floating through the endless vacuum, using these fiery balls of fire and gas to light his way. He would make them every colour he could think of, clumping some together to form the nebulas, or shooting some off into the middle of nowhere, just for the sake of it. Sometimes, he would press atoms so close together they would form rocks of all shapes and sizes, letting them wander and float around until they began clumping together into similar spherical shapes. He even swirled some clusters of stars and rocks around, watching as they turned into disks that would spin forever – galaxies, he decided to label them as. Before long, the universe was scattered with clusters of stars, planets, and whatever else they felt like creating, some so big their size was incomprehensible, others microscopic in comparison, and the rest varying in between.

When God had decided to rest their powers for a short while, he hadn’t expected to awake to the feeling that something was off when he observed his work. A small ripple, something he wouldn’t have picked up on if he knew they were the only being currently in existence. It passed through them, and he quickly shot towards the nebula that sat in the centre of his universal domain, their birthplace, so to speak. And what he came across was something very wrong. And he finally came to the realisation that he wasn’t alone.

It looked like a cloud at first. A dark mass that swirled and flared it tendrils around frantically as it contorted in and out of itself. He wouldn’t have been able to see it if it weren’t for the carnage it had left behind, it’s pitch black silhouette a stark contrast against the flickering specks of light behind it – the broken remains of his precious stars and planets.

Though he did not fear it. They knew that if this being had come into existence, it was here for a reason.

The Goddess was a being not many creatures knew about, and God wanted to keep it that way. He didn’t want anyone to know he had an equal, someone, if aware of everything they could do, could rival him and his authority.

He was Creation, and she was Destruction. Not solely there to destroy everything, no. She was brought into existence to ensure there was change, to make sure God didn’t slow down, always keeping him on his metaphorical feet. He had welcomed change when they had first come across her, but not too much. See, he wanted things to progress, but on his terms, so when the flailing tendrils of the Goddess had parted to reveal a mass of black wings and hundreds of very curious eyes peering up at them, he immediately took them under his own wings, teaching them the timeline of the universe around them. Her naivety hadn’t flown past him, she had just come into existence after all, and at this realisation he was delighted.

Billions of years passed by under the tutelage of God, telling the Goddess that she was his creation, what was divine and what was sacrilege. She absorbed it all, enchanted by the ways of what she believed to be her ‘creator’.

At one point, Destruction was overseeing a supernova just outside the Andromeda galaxy when God had approached her, eager to show her something. Reluctant but curious, she agreed, allowing them take her to another celestial plane, gesturing his arms out wide and welcoming her to Heaven.

He introduced her to his creations, his hierarchy of the divine. From the Seraphims, all the way down to the angels. For a time the Goddess resided with them, telling them about her ways of existence, though it wasn’t always received positively. In fact, there was only one creation that was intrigued by her path of dismantlement, a chirpy seraphim named Lucifer, who would spend most of his free time following her around with wide eager eyes, asking questions a mile a minute. The Goddess would always answer truthfully, and soon enough God began to grow weary of the friendly exchange between the two.

It wasn’t long before he was dragging her back through the planes, until they came across a very colourful planet. Entering through the atmosphere, the two floated down until they arrived on top of wall that encased a very interesting sight.

For as far as the eye could see, there was desert, but within the confines of this wall was a lush paradise, filled to the brim with every possible plant. The Garden of Eden.

God revealed two creatures that he had brought into existence, their names Adam, and Lilith, and they were to create the human race. Though his idea didn’t last very long – Lucifer had trailed after the Goddess into Eden one day, going off on another one of his excitable tangents on whatever was flying through his head at the time, when he had come face to face with the cunning and evaluating eyes of Lilith.

Obviously most know what happened after that, and God had quickly created Eve, but when she and Adam both failed his expectations after Lucifer and Lilith tempted them with the apple from the tree, he soon made changes.

The Seraphim and his new wife were cast down into a new celestial plane called Hell, and God then turned to the Goddess, seething, accusing her – that she had planted those thoughts and questions into his creation’s mind. They wouldn’t hear any excuse, leaving her until near the end of Adam and Eve’s once immortal life on Earth.

When he approached her again, they said he had a new job for her, and she followed, hopeful for their friendship to be restored, though doubts began to creep into her mind when she saw what was before her.

Purgatory, he had revealed it to be, was where she would take mortal souls after their physical body expired and sort them between Heaven and Hell. Next was the Underworld, where, if a soul was displaced in either of the two afterlives, it would go there to remain for eternity, or if she decided to send it back to Earth to be reincarnated. It was her new domain, where she would reside when she wasn’t on Earth collecting new souls.

Distressed, the Goddess asked why she was to do this, but God said nothing, only explaining further on what her new purpose entailed, and she grew more and more distraught at the new path he had laid out in front of her. She was no longer to be regarded as Destruction, but instead would spend the rest of eternity to be called a new, more fitting name, one he thought described her purpose of being perfectly:

Death.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[staraxiaa]

porcelain, the afterword:

author's corner/first thoughts.

first and foremost: upon rereading, a scene in this fic holds a lot of similarities to one from dust, diamonds on ao3 by maokitty. (the jealousy scene w the husband where the wall crumbles) especially with the dialogue. i was definitely taking inspiration from that fic while writing the scene, and wanted to make a note of it here. go read it even if ur not into aot pls bc it’s actually life-changing !! i beat my sunflower record btw this was 25k ish words written in less than 20 total writing hours. spread over 1.5 days total. also i think i fucked up the pacing a lot from what id originally planed buuut at least its over. dobby is finally free!!! anyways. the original intent for this fic was a discussion on body imagery, to anyone who has ever struggled with the unrealistic standards of social media and/or felt lesser than themselves because they were not beautiful in a 'typical' manner. but then it ballooned into a monster of its own bc i was like how can i make this hurt. i took my inspiration from porcelain + kintsugi vases... like how can i break this reader before i put her back together. i think that i'd like to touch upon similar topics again one day. as a natural extension of my style and the way i write that 'fits' the childhood theme of this collection, i don't believe i handled these topics the best i could've: a lot of them are simplified to a point that, looking back, makes me go 'eugh' a bit because there's so much depth there that i had to like, tamp down upon as a result of my own inexperience. parts of it were likely believable, and parts of it likely weren't - whether because of my youth, or because i was afraid of approaching these topics from the 'wrong' angle. either way, i hope to be able to grow as a writer to the point that i can tackle these themes again to a point where i myself can be sufficiently pleased with the depth i've put into it. that is all. if you've read up to here, thank you. i'm not really expecting this one to do nearly as well as sunflowers - the content is heavier, it's not nearly as light, and shouto is just less of a popular character overall. but this is very likely my magnum opus so far in terms of how much thought has been put into the work, so it means a lot to me even if you do not interact, and simply read up til this point. thank you. your support truly means a lot. will also update again as i think of things

unwritten scenes, headcanons, thought process

another angst scene. at the todoroki forgiveness dinner table, katsuki and izuku are probably there. i havent watched this scene i just know it exists. (was gonna go find it just for research). enji hits shouto with the 'you can marry whoever you'd like' thing majig. shouto's like, cool i didnt give a shit anyways i was gonna marry her. with or without your permission. and THEN i hit you with the akshually... she's engaged... to be honest, a lot more scenes where it was just mother and daughter. i really wanted the point to hit home that, the mother is always intending to do good in the only ways she knows how - it's not discussed thoroughly, and she's obviously a negative influence when it matters most, which is why reader cuts her off at the end. i am a firm believer that not all parenting is good parenting, even when it comes from a good place, and to me it's like when you hurt someone - it doesn't matter your intention, because that should always come secondary to the fact that you hurt them in some way. sorry. i'm not sure if cutting completely out of the life like that was necessary, but i think that in real life, sometimes it is. something to think abt / regret abt this piece ig lots more on the brother. he was not seen a lot, and i cba to include more about him cuz tbh he's only really relevant for like... 2 scenes but basically the tl;dr is that. he also feels the same pressure. it's just offscreen. (he's a man, he's his father's heir, but he sees the impact this family has upon you). i honestly think he's pookie and hold him dear to my heart but he was really just there to get the plot moving... so.... sorry guys. i didnt even bother to give him a name. BUT hes definitely a very complex character i just didnt write it..... i just needed to add a little happiness to the dysfunctional family ok the husband. okay. so. i originally wrote him in with the intention of being someone to hate, entirely and utterly, with the whole of my heart. but i absolutely hate writing in characters that don't have at least some depth/some complexity, so here goes: he was definitely in love, i think, though i'm not sure i would call it that. there was a grooming aspect to it, an age gap difference (he attended all your recitals/performances when you were underage, had his eye on you), was twice your age. i think i wrote it in a way where it could definitely be interpreted as a form of love, as twisted and fucked up as it was⏤ in the way you think of ownership, that a pretty woman is nothing more than a flower to give the sun to, to water when you'd like. but you're not. you're more than that, you need more than food and water and a roof over your head, more than pretty jewels. you just couldn't love him, and i think that's the part that fucked with him the most. the husband was always supposed to die. i toyed with different versions of this⏤ if you should be the one to kill him, a final 'hurrah' when you finally find your courage. but i thought this wasn't very in line with the reader characterization, so i didn't include this. it's ok though u guys are always #1 bosses in my heart. i hope its clear though that the reader didnt love him at any point bc i dont like him enough as a character to give him that. sorry. he was also supposed to be a mafia man... did i make that clear... but both him and the father were like. i hate these characters. the father especially (he has 0 characterization he's only plot relevant bc he has to be). wipe them both from ur minds pls xx in terms of the baby: i actually know nothing about motherhood. this is only what i've done from the best of my imagination. if it isn't accurate at all i apologize.

i did not know tumblr had a max characters per block. i yap a lot huh. anyways on to cute shouto moments <3 i really considered the idea of like. sex scenes. nothing graphic, but tl;dr with shouto when you cry, he stops immediately. this would be near the end, when you're learning to live again, but it's like, you're so moved because no one has ever done it like this for you before, and he's just worried that he's done something wrong, and it's sad but it's like. you don't know if you can ever handle touch again, but bc you're married, you think it's your duty, and you also love him, so you want to try. you guys love each other so much i could sob. i didnt add this just bc i didnt think this was the fic i wanted to start nsfw with, and bc i dont think i could do the intimacy i wanted justice. also tbh i debated on including more thoughts of shouto during the relationship with the husband but i think, while the mc would definitely think of him, she would try her best to be a good wife. i think this is textbook of abusive relationships (i tried to portray that in the way that the husband speaks and turns the fault onto mc when he hits her) where naturally, they abuse you despite you already doing the best you can, and make you feel lesser for it. i.e. she hasn't thought about shouto the whole while, hasn't done anything, doesn't intend on it, and he still blames her for the way she feels. DID I EMPHASIZE THAT HE PICKS UP EVERY CALL EVEN THO U DONT TEXT HIM ANYMORE JUST IN CASE bc shouto todoroki the man that you are... the man i wrote you as... im never marrying idgaf i write my own standards too high i also jus wanna say guys... the way u pull him out of his shell... and then its his turn to pull him out of urs.... i am a SUCKER for stories that come full circle watch me write it into mermaid au anyways im so excited!!!!! in another world, shouto is the one to catch you. somehow he's in your penthouse apartment. the man's holding a knife to your throat (??) or it's your husband trying to save his own skin. in some variations you walk off the edge yourself, in some variations your husband pushes you, in some variations it's the man. i thought this fit better. either way in all of them he was supposed to dive off the fucking building after u but i also thought: he can't be there himself but he makes sure ur taken care of anyways. sort of fitting the characterization i had for him, i think. i rlly considered a kiss scene too but it'd be sort of natural. like stepping into someone's warmth and feeling entirely comfortable in it, knowing it's what you want and knowing it's also what he wants. at the end. but i didn't add it. wouldve been sweet but unnecessary bc i think this would be further down the line and would require a separate scene. once again i scoot free of my kiss-writing responsibilities ! ! ! more on this, though, i think i really like writing about how simple intimacy can be. i do not believe you need to be physically affectionate with someone to love them, though you certainly can be, and i hope this was reflected in the way i portrayed both shouto and reader. in my dreams we are shouto's sugar babies and just vibe for the rest of our lives. and that is all. the smallest things the reader does make him so happy like. slowly. you guys are already holding hands, so a kiss on the cheek would make him the happiest man on earth. oh here's a bonus scene: at some point he takes you out to see the fireworks. the two of you are sitting, you're tucked snugly into his side, you're watching the fireworks, but when you turn, he's watching you. it's so stupidly romantic. you probably ask him what he's looking at and hes just like 'you'. you flush a little. he kisses the top of your head, grinning like the little shit he is.

i also think it'd take a length of time to get married, so you guys probably do kiss sometime before then. no clue about the scene. but canonically (aka in my head) you guys are just having a normal conversation. like Normal Normal. nothing fancy. and all of a sudden you just lean in and kiss him on the corner of his lips. he touches it, and you can see the shock on his face. dunno if you lie and say 'something there i was just getting it for you' bc im a sucker for that but he only leans a little closer and asks you to do it again. i'd like to think man is patient even tho he desperately wants to (like to the point it's painful to watch) so you have to tell him straight up it's okay to do anything, when you're ready: i.e. initiate kisses and anything else later down the line. once he gets the green light though there's no stopping (he will immediately if u ever tell him) like in my head this man has been basically touch starved all his life and he YEARNS. everyone say thank you to the anon who prompted these scenes btw notes on reader: i think what i wanted to explore with this piece was the way that your parents, the environment you grow up in, the role models you have can shape how you grow a lot. but that does not mean you need to stay that way forever. and that even if you do, you are not necessarily 'weak' or any lesser. reader never actually stood up for herself until the very end, but she was strong in her own way. she tried her best to be a good wife, even when she practically hated her husband. she persevered, she tried her best to love her child. things were bleak, but she pulled through; she kept on living, she kept on breathing. and that was enough. she was enough! <33 i also don't know if this reader was a very believable one. a lot of what i explored here was an extension of some of my own experiences, but like. i simply have not experienced a lot of it personally, unlike with my other pieces, and not at all to the same depth. i hope that there are people out there that can resonate with her and her experiences, but like not in a fucked up way. i simply hope that this story can make someone out there feel seen/heard, even if it's just a little. also putting this here to say, i tried to write reader in a way where it made her thoughts read off as like. ingrained into her? but that the way she thinks is not supposed to be normalized. please love yourselves. just wanted to make that clear djsklsfjd

[azzysmate]

Back From the Dead - Part 1

Azriel x RhysSister Fanfic

Summary: Rhaen, sister of Rhysand, was supposedly dead for centuries, but what if she wasn’t? What if she was only trapped by something no one ever dreamed of being so dangerous? And what will happen when she appears at the border of the Spring Court and human lands barely alive?

1st Person POV - Rhaen

I wonder how long I've been gone for. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I know it's been more than a hundred years, but when you spend your days as I have in an entirely different plane of existence, you begin to stop counting the days since you last saw your family. You stop hoping there will come a time that you will see them again. All you can do is pray to the Mother that your time will come soon and that the people you love have moved on with their lives without you.

The misery I have witnessed plays in a loop behind my eyes. Not just my own, though I have certainly felt more than my fair share, but that's not what haunts me. No, the screams of agony that live in my nightmares are of other females who were trapped with me. All shapes and sizes. All ages. All types of fae and human kind. And one in particular.

Dahlia.

My poor, sweet, innocent flower. I see her tearful eyes widened in death beneath me. There's blood everywhere. Her blood everywhere. In her hair, staining her clothes, pooled on the earth under her, all over her face and my hands. Just a child, dead, because of my idiocy.

Her blood. On my hands. I'll never be able to rid myself of the scarlet color in my ledger. Not hers.

I feel my breathing become shallow, coming in as gasps, going out as pants. Then the rest of the defenseless women around me go silent. It's only my voice I hear now that bellows a cry of rage, of grief, of vengeance.

Someone grabs my wrists, pulling them away from Dahlia. I fight them, yelling for them to let me go, to let me seek my revenge, to let me slaughter every last one of these beasts who have damned me.

If they think me a monster, then so be it. I will be what they fear me to be.

But when I wrench my arms out of the unknown grasp, I wake up. I'm sitting up in a bed with a fae female staring wide-eyed at me. Sweat soaks through my clothing, and my left arm is tangled in wires. My throat is raw, my heart is pounding, and whoever this girl in front of me is, she must be strong considering she held me back for as long as she did.

"It's alright," she speaks, "You're safe. Nothing is going to happen to you, Rhaen."

I blink at her, trying to steady my breathing as I ask, "Who the fuck are you?"

"My name is Feyre," she replies softly and places one hand on my calves, as if attempting to keep me from spiraling further.

I wince at the touch, not from pain, but from distrust. She pulls away as I say, "I don't know you. What do you want with me? Where am I?"

"We're in Velaris. In Madja's clinic." She pauses for a moment, studying my face in awe. "I don't want anything from you, but you need to remain calm. You were very badly hurt, I don't want you to be any more uncomfortable than I'm sure you already are."

"Velaris?" I repeat, knowing if she knows of my hidden home in the Night Court, we must be safe like she says.

She gives me a small smile. "Yes, you're home."

I let out a sigh of relief at her reassurance, trying to shake off the remainder of hellish recollections. She stares at me for a moment, taking in my face like she's seen me before, and I notice that the rims are slightly wet, like she's been crying for me.

"I-I'm sorry..." I tell her, "Do I... know you?"

"No," she answers softly, a bit of amusement appearing in her tone, "but I've heard so many stories, I feel like I sort of know you. And you just look so much like your brother..."

"My brother?" My throat tightens again. "You know Rhysand?"

"Very well. We're-"

"Rhaen..." another calls my name, and we both look towards the door.

And despite everything I've been through, despite how hard it is to breathe without my chest aching, I smile at him. "Speak of the devil."

He chuckles through a sob and drops the bags hanging off of his fingers to come strutting to my bed and wraps his arms around me. I groan because of the tenderness of what I'm sure are thousands of bruises, but I return his gesture, clinging to him for dear life.

I ball the material of his shirt into my fist and let teardrops flow freely down my face. "Rhys..."

"Rhae," he breathes out against my hair, "I can't believe this is real."

"Me neither."

He pulls back abruptly, making flinch once more. He holds my face in his hands and asks, "Where have you been? What happened? Tamlin told us you were dead, that he had your wings for proof. How is this possible? How did you end up back in Prythian? Who the hell hurt you?"

"Take a breath, brother," I remark, "We have time for explanations later. For now, I'd just like to take some time to heal and enjoy seeing my family again."

"I know, I... I'm sorry, my mind is reeling, little one, and I can't seem to get a grasp on any of it."

"So how about we put a pin in the heavy stuff for now, and you tell me what's been going on here."

Feyre lets out a little laugh behind him, catching my attention again. "If you're looking to avoid a complicated topic, you may want to be more specific. A lot has happened in Prythian, in the last ten years alone."

"Never mind that," Rhys dismisses gently, climbing off the bed to go stand next to Feyre, "You're right, we should let you acclimate a bit first, so we can start with introductions. Feyre Darling, this is my sister, Rhaen. Princess of the Night Court. Little one, this is Feyre. My mate."

"Mate?" I exclaim with eyes and mouth opened wide, "You have a mate? And here I was practically interrogating the poor girl."

"That's alright," Feyre says kindly, "We weren't expecting you to wake up for another hour or so, Rhys was getting us something to eat."

Rhys glances down to the bags he dropped, wrinkling his nose a bit at the mess he'd made. "And it looks like I'll be going back for more."

"That can wait," I wave him off, "Feyre, tell me how awful it is having to be tied to him for the rest of your life. Is he still the biggest, most arrogant Illyrian prick ever?"

"Hey," he whines while she giggles, "That title is, was, and always will belong to Cassian, little sister, and you know it."

"Oh, Cass," I coo, "Gods, I've missed his hugs. How is he?"

Rhys smirks. "Doing pretty well for himself. The Lord of Bloodshed is now my General."

"What?" I laugh and immediately regret the sudden act as another wave of sensitivity throbs inside of me. I lean back against the pillows to try and get the pressure off my torso, then continue, "Wait a second, your general? You're telling me, not only is that brute the commander of armies, but you're High Lord of the Night Court?"

"Most powerful in a millennia," he confirms smugly, and Feyre rolls her eyes. "You can act annoyed all you want, Feyre Darling, but if it weren't true, would you be my High Lady?"

"High Lady?" my jaw drops, "Cauldron boil me, was I gone that long?"

"It's a very long story," Feyre exasperates, "Another that we'll have to put a pin in. However, it will not be one that your brother takes credit for." She lifts a brow in challenge, daring him to argue.

He holds his hands up in surrender. "Alright, alright. She earned it. But the even bigger shock? Cassian is mated to her sister, Nesta."

"No way... Cassian has a mate?" Rhys nods in amusement. "She must be a firecracker, and I'll bet she has him wrapped around her little finger."

"Nesta is something, alright," Rhys mumbles, "but they're perfect for each other, that much is certain."

"And Mor? How is she?"

"As cheerful and vain as ever."

"Amren?"

"As terrifying as ever. Although, she is high fae now, no longer whatever god-like creature she was trapped in a fae body."

"Really? I assume that's another added to the list of conversations for later?"

They share a hesitant look, one that I don't prod for clarity on, and then nod at me slowly.

I take a breath, knowing that there's only one other curiosity to satisfy. My stomach knots up when I think of my next question. The one person I'm dying to ask about, but also the most terrified to hear of finding a mate.

I clear my throat, and as I muster up the courage to finally get my query out, I feel my face burn bright, "And what about Azriel?"

"You could ask me yourself," a gravel filled voice comes from the doorway, and when my eyes meet his, all my worries fade far from my mind.

I swallow heavily under his scrutiny, the gold irises drinking me like he's scared I'll disappear right under his watchful gaze.

Did I imagine that he was the one to find me? Was it only my mind playing tricks on me, making me believe he lifted me up into the air and told me to stay with him?

No. With the way he's looking at me now, I know it wasn't all in my head at all. The Shadowsinger saved me. He saw me half dead and pleaded to the Mother for me to live.

"Azzy..." I croak out.

He takes a deep breath. "Princess." He takes a few steps in and lifts one eyebrow. "If I hadn't just found you barely breathing, I'd be so pissed at you for waking up before I got back."

I let out a breathy laugh, trying to fight against the tears that threatened to fall. "Yeah, lucky me for almost dying. Again."

"Hey, don't feel too bad, Az," Rhys chimes in, "I was out getting food for Feyre and I when she woke up."

The Shadowsinger's eyes don't leave mine as his lips turn upwards ever so slightly. "I see you still enjoy giving people a hard time."

"Don't think I'll ever get over that," I reply with a smirk.

He sighs and playfully rolls his eyes, and I see Feyre tilt her head in confusion and then share a look with her mate.

I look between them before asking, "Is this going to happen a lot? You two having secret conversations in your head? Because I can play, too."

"See?" I say to both of them with them daemati powers.

Feyre's gaze widens at me. "You're daemati, too?"

"And she'll never let anyone forget it," Rhys answer for me, causing me to let out another weak laugh, "In response to your question, yes. As High Lord and Lady, we often have private discussions in front of everyone."

"Oh, and I'm sure it has everything to do with the safety of the Night Court and never inappropriate?" I tease them. I see Feyre's cheeks pink.

Rhys closes his eyes and tucks in his lips. "I have to say, while I'm glad you're still your old, troublemaking self, I did not miss how uncomfortable you could make me at times."

"I've got a lot of time to make up for," I smile brilliantly.

Amusement flashes in Azriel's gaze before he makes his way to my side. "Has Madja been in to check her out?"

"No," Feyre states since she was the one her when I opened my eyes, "She seems to be acting normal though."

"That's quite the understatement, Feyre Darling," my brother inserts.

"I'm sore, that much is certain, but other than that, I feel fine. I would like to go home if she doesn't notice anything alarming."

"I'll go find her," Azriel declares.

Rhys walks towards the door as well, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I'll join you."

Feyre gives them a bewildered look as they leave, and this time, I don't hold my tongue.

"What's the matter?" I inquire of her.

She looks to me, then the door, and back at me. "I've never really seen him act like this before."

"You mean Az?"

"Yes," she confirms with a nod, "It's almost as if he's... flirting?"

I scoff, then rub my chest to alleviate the irritation it caused while checking, "With me? No way."

Humor passes through her features before she schools them back to neutrality. "Right. He must just be happy you're back."

Although I don't believe her assumption is accurate in anyway, I find my stomach flurrying with butterflies at the thought.

But there's absolutely no chance that Azriel is, was, or ever has flirted with me, his best friend's little sister, someone he views as his own little sister. Even if I might wish he did...

Thank you guys so much for liking the prologue! You have no idea how much the support means to me… I hope you guys continue to stay tuned for Rhaen’s journey. These first couple parts are basically just going to be her reentering Velaris and acclimating as best as she can. Again, leave a comment if you want to be tagged for the next part. Ilysm🤍

@projectcampbell @acourtofsmutandstarlight @rcarbo1 @lilah-asteria @anainkandpaper

[overtake]

Not to be weird but I feel like I got zapped when I read your hockey snippet, how didn't I know that this existed? It's literally been living my brain for hours and I've not been able to stop re-reading it since 🙃 clearly you can take the girl out of toronto but you can't take toronto out the girl because im a changed person now. No pressure ofc I mean this in non-prodding way but praying and willing you to put your snippets together. If you never come around to it then I'm glad (and changed) for what you've shared with world regardless 🙏🏻🙏🏻

This is SO sweet 🥹 I love you so much. Just for this, please have a bit more hockey au. There's a tiny snippet after a media bit (Surprise, this fic is multi-media! Writing the social media parts has been my fave part of the entire process)

@.MapleLeafs on TikTok: | December 12, 2023

[Players walk by a whiteboard on their way into the practice rink. They're stopped to answer the question written on it as they enter. The caption written over their heads reads: "Who don’t your Leafs want to sit next to on a flight?"]

ALEX ALBON: Easy one. Esteban Ocon. He’ll bite your head off if you make a single noise. I think he’d get mad if the plane was going down and you tried to warn him. LOGAN SARGEANT: Gasly or Ocon. I don’t know if it’s a French thing, but they both get really annoyed if you talk to them on a plane. PIERRE GASLY: Danny Ric. He is the loudest person I’ve ever met in my life. ESTEBAN OCON: Daniel Ricciardo. Sorry, Daniel. DANIEL RICCIARDO: Gasly. Max and I were just having a conversation and he rose up behind us and nearly bit our heads off for laughing. I don’t know why he keeps sitting near us. MAX VERSTAPPEN: I don’t really mind sitting next to anyone. I usually sit next to Daniel, and we have a good time. He keeps movies downloaded for us. They're often not very good, but that's sometimes more fun, you know? YUKI TSUNODA: Daniel. VALTERRI BOTTAS: Daniel Ricciardo. ZHOU GUANYU: Daniel. He is very nice and fun, but sometimes you just want to relax on a flight. MARCUS ERICCSON: Surely everyone except Max picked Daniel, right? FERNANDO ALONSO: I don’t want to sit next to anyone.

Mara (DR’s Reputation Era) @.mv33fan: Fernando Alonso: I hate this entire team The entire team: We hate Daniel and the French Max and Daniel: Ask again later. Our mouths are occupied with each other’s dicks.

________

Theoretically, Daniel knew that his and Max's pre-game ritual could end up on the broadcast. Butt taps and silly handshakes in the tunnel inevitably end up on team Instagram stories even if they don't air on TV. It was to be expected, particularly on a Saturday night game against Ottawa.

Still, he didn’t exactly expect a whole montage. It's a nice little package, to be fair. It shows him and Max laughing next to each other in the tunnels and locker rooms before games, followed by their fingers interlocking in their usual drawn-out high five. Daniel prefers to fist bump the whole team and exit only before the goalies, but his routine with Max is always a bit of a production that holds up the line. It's only a surprise it hasn't been uploaded sooner.

After a game where Max scored two goals and Daniel threw his body in front of a rogue deflection and stopped the Sens from a late-third tie, the media naturally focuses on the montage. God forbid they talk about actual fucking hockey in the hockey interview.

“We call it tangled love,” he tells reporters in the press scrum after the game. “In honour of our artistic collision last game.”

It wasn’t a real collision. They’d just got tangled up together when things got chippy by the net. Their skates had collided and they'd taken each other out while trying to defend Esteban from some Habs players. It was all over social media, though, and Daniel knew they’d end up in some embarrassing NHL moments compilation.

They’d both laid on the ice, a little stunned and a lot stupid, before Daniel let out a giant laugh and broke the tension. Max had risen to his feet and tried to pull up Daniel, only for them both to fall right back down as if this was the first time they'd ever skated.

They’d actually been doing this little handshake all season, but reporters were always happy for a soundbite to latch onto and a joke they’d never let go. There's not much to work with in this league in the way of on-camera personality, so it’d probably be a story for the next week. The go-karting clips of the two of them were so popular than even Max mentioned he’d seen them on Reels, and he’d carefully curated his feed to show him anything but Leafs content.

Daniel can’t explain it, this warmth that makes him feel like he’s glowing from inside out all the time since the season started, but he knows he feels it most when he sees people write his name alongside Max’s like their togetherness is a given.

[bonefall]

there's been some chatter going around that ivypool's super edition might lead into an exploration/revival of faded characters, mostly bristlefrost. what's your take on that? (both for how you could implement that into BB if ever it becomes a plot point, and also your general opinion)

I won't be surprised if they do! And I won't really be disappointed either. Honestly I've never been fond of the idea of double death. I love the concept of fading, but ghost-killing has always felt kinda... boring, I guess?

Fading feels terrifying, but natural. Like a soul finding peace, and moving on to whatever the next stage of being is. The idea of persisting forever, far after there's anything relevant to watch on the mortal plane, seems worse. But killing ghosts? Why? Can't think of anything else? They can't respawn, or persist with ghastly injuries?

Double-death may have been added to add more stakes to Dark Forest training, or to make it so you can physically fight the spirits and win for the climactic battle... but honestly? It feels like they were trying to prevent themselves from using their favorite characters ever again.

But I don't expect this team to stick to it. Never really have, even when I was a tot experiencing it for the first time in OotS. They double-killed off a bunch of their fan favorites. Tigerstar, Hawkfrost, Spottedleaf... it's always felt like a matter of time before they just find some way to bring them back.

For BB though? I love coming up with supernatural stuff and magic systems. I can work with it, no problem.

In fact I'll be happy to. I've already done away with demons being able to die in the Dark Forest-- they can only be killed if a mortal comes in to kill them, or they leave the protection of their home. There's also a new state of undeath, Hawkfrost is half-killed by Tigerstar but manages to make it home just in time, leaving him in a state where he phases in and out of existence. A half-ghost.

I'll have to see what they do before giving a definitive answer, though, since I'd be trying to accommodate what they toss at me. It's important to note that I MASSIVELY changed the way Bristlefrost died, though. Instead of evil water, she burned up in orbit, knocking Ashfur out of the sky like a shooting star.

So like... if it's a Void location that a whole soul goes to, I'll probably mess around with it. If it's a resurrection ritual, that'll be easy to just adapt 1:1.

[greyyson-but-no]

PEACE: death family

just something I felt like writing, this is my headcannon for the end of death family. it just felt most calming for me, the perfect end. it's very long, 1.4K words I think, it's also been a while since I posted writing too. hope you all enjoy. rip death family - how ironic lmao

As the children fell asleep, curled up beside their father that had spent the past few hours apologising over and over again, they could feel her coming. Chayanne felt her presence first, the warmth, the calm that washed over him. Just a second later the same safety settled in Lullah's heart, too and they figured out who it was. There was no one else who had this sense of calmness, who made them feel as safe as this. It was immediately someone they could trust because the two had heard their father mention her name several times. Not as someone dangerous, but instead the most loving person they could ever come in contact with. In fact, Philza had stated that he loved this person more than anyone else, well, no one came above his children, but the point still stood tall. They knew she could be trusted.

Chayanne and Lullah's eyes fluttered open, and while they didn't know where they were, the black endless void that they stood in wasn't scaring them. At the end of wherever they were stood the most beautiful deity they had ever seen. Though her face was masked by a purple laced veil that hung from a large, black dia de muertos-esque hat, a warming smile curled into the deities lips from underneath. Lullah grabbed Chayanne's hand, smiling at the goddess that looked over them.

The Goddess of Death took a couple steps closer. "Oh, my dear children. I didn't expect it to be you two, not yet, at least." She spoke, her voice smooth and clear, and a comfort to Chayanne and Lullah as they went through something that no child should have to endure.

"You're-" Lullah was the first to speak, Chayanne too bewildered to neither understand nor process what was actually happening. "Are you Kristin? The Goddess of Death?"

The deity nodded. "Yes, my loves."

The younger one turned to the older, tugging on his hand and smiling. "Chay, it's okay. Dad told us about her, remember? She's nice, she's okay. Remember, Papa said that if he could no longer take care of us that she could." Lullah explained, Chayanne slowly piecing together what was happening.

"Our dad-"

The goddess cut Chayanne off. "I've known your father for a very long time, dear ones. You don't have to worry anymore."

Lullah dropped Chayanne's hands, moving closer to the goddess of death with a hope that somehow deep down, she knew was false. But it was worth the try anyway. "Is there any way we can see him again?" She knew what everything meant, she knew that they had- they had moved on.

"I can take you to see him but he won't be able to see you. You wouldn't be able to talk to him or communicate at all. Well, there might be leeway with the communication part but he won't be able to understand you or know that you're there." Kristin explained, moving her hands around to her back and clasping them there. "He's in a different plane of existence to you and us, right now. The most I can do is morph the two of you into crows. you'd be able to mix in with his murder as he lives his life."

Chayanne nodded, not knowing how to understand he would never be able to talk to his dad again. all those years, being brought up by him, the child being who he was because of philza, all that gone in all matter of minutes. No communication ever again. But then again, it was bound to happen. They always knew it would happen at some point. All they were were experiments, hatching into what they were supposed to be wasn't possible, passing on was the only option. Looking around, Chayanne weighed up his options, spending the rest of eternity with his sister and watching over their father as he continued with no acknowledgement of their existence or: nothingness.

There was truly only one correct choice. He looked over to Lullah. "I'll do it, if you do too, hermanita."

Lullah turned, eyebrows furrowed. "What?"

Chayanne shrugged, looking over at the Goddess of Death again. "I'd like to see dad, if I'm being honest, and it also means we can stick by each other's side."

The younger one nodded, taking Chayanne's hand again and turning towards the goddess, a large smile brimming on her face, nodding. "We want to see him again. If this is our option then it's the best afterlife i could have asked for. por favor, help us see our dad again."

"As you wish, children." And as she was about to morph them, she smiled, squinting to try and figure out if she had gotten it correct. "Actually, wait, I just remembered something."

The two children opened their eyes again. "What?" They both spoke in unison.

The Goddess grinned, kneeling down to be at the same height as the two children. "You met Rose, didn't you?" And when they both explained she had saved them several times over, Kristin nodded again, laughing a little. "That little demigoddess has a little trick up her sleeve, let me call her over here."

And so the Goddess of Death called over the one that ruled over nature in the world that Philza was from, and soon enough the comforting face of Rose stood beside the goddess, looking over to the two children with a solemn look etched on her face. While she hadn't been expecting them just yet either, the demigoddess understood what Kristin wanted from her. The two children didn't quite understand what was happening just yet, but they had two familiar faces in front of them and with the notion of seeing their dad again and knowing they would be able to stick together forever, they would be okay. They knew it. Soon enough, Chayanne and Lullah found themselves standing on an island, looking over a large, gorgeous area. There were hundreds and thousands of crows flying around the area, diving in and around the floating islands around the edge, cawing with a happiness that the children hadn't seen in anyone for a good while. Chayanne looked upwards, greeted with a large diamond sword, a cape wrapped around it that flowed daringly in the wind, never faltering, never having a risk of falling. Lullah spotted the quartz wall, broken up and cracked, floating up with the islands.

Then yet another crow came flying round, diving with an adrenaline unknown to them before, his wingspan being larger than ever before. His hat, green with white stripes, somehow not falling off even when he flew straight down. The old crow was holding moss, and just a second later he was down by the beach on the other side of the island they were standing on, placing it around. The children were too far to specify what he was actually doing, but they didn't care. That was their father, that was for sure. The same version of him they knew, but completely different. Had no knowledge of them, of ever having children, nor ever knowing Missa. He looked… happy. Not worried, not overwhelmed, just content.

The Goddess of Death took a step forward having been previously stood behind the two children, looking over her husband with a warm look. "He can't see us right now. Thanks to Rose, whenever the two of you choose, you can morph into crows, then he'll be able to see you. Lullah, you'll have little pink flowers mixed into your feathers, Chayanne, you'll have Missa's eyes. He'll be able to differentiate the two of you from the rest but he won't understand why."

Chayanne nodded. "It's better than never being able to see him again." and Lullah nodded in agreement.

And so, for as long as they wanted to, the two children could choose how they wanted to live. If they wanted to hear their father once more, all it took was for them to morph into crows, they would be able to fly to him and speak to him through the mouth of Brian. He wouldn't be able to recognise them, or understand why they were saying what they were, but it meant a lot for the children that he had heard their thoughts once more. It meant everything to them. If they simply wanted to relax, they flew up to Techno's memorial and while Lullah was reminded of the one she had built, she much preferred this one. The Death Siblings would sit on the cross-guard of the sword, watching over their father's world, finally understanding what he had been hiding from them all these months.

Eventually, Philza came to recognise their voices. He started to spot them within a whole murder of his crows. He still couldn't figure out why they were different or why his heart could have burst whenever he caught sight of them, but he soon enough came to terms with it. Whenever he saw them around, a larger smile curled into his lips, a sense of comfort washing over him at the sight of them both safe. Maybe he would never figure out why, but after a while, that didn't matter to Chayanne and Lullah.

They were safe and content, all three of them were. Peace, at long last.

[kyndaris]

Hello Madness, My Old Friend

From Octopath Traveler 2, I decided to keep with the theme of hidden cults and try my hand at the remake Sherlock Holmes: The Awakened. With only a few short weeks before my trip overseas, I didn't want to get sucked into a lengthy role-playing game and leave it unfinished while I was overseas. Which was why I chose to play games that wouldn't take too long but could still tell a compelling story. So, after enjoying the new direction of Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One, I was eager to see what Frogwares would do to change of their first Sherlock Holmes games. Coupled with my obsession with the Sherlock Holmes stories written by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and the Cthulhu mythos, my excitement was tangible.

Unfortunately, The Awakened did not live up to the lofty expectations set by the predecessor. Still, given the developer is headquartered in Ukraine and the game entered production soon after Russia launched a full-scale invasion of Ukraine, I can forgive its many foibles.

Besides, Frogwares has never been a triple-A studio.

As such, I struggled with the stripped back gameplay and the jankiness of the game models. There were also several moments when the lighting, especially for hats, looked terribly strange and pulled me from the scene.

Faults aside, there were also many elements I loved about the game. Namely the story and the callbacks to Sherlock Holmes: Chapter One. This, more than anything else, made the two games feel connected. What's more, the backstory in Chapter One also felt conducive to the descent into madness that was Sherlock's story arc throughout the game. Yes, I would have liked some more backstory on the ultimate villain, with perhaps a nice tantalising story connection to our characters beyond a reference to the previous game of the same title, but alas.

Now, if you've ever played a Frogware Sherlock Holmes game, there isn't many surprises. In fact, I felt there were fewer instances for minigames. Gone is the combat and chemical mixing introduced in Chapter One. Sherlock is wholly dependent on the power of investigation and the occasional use of his extensive archives (which he seems to carry with him). This meant the story flowed better as Sherlock and John traipsed to several corners of the world in order to unravel the mystery of a missing Maori servant in the employ of the bullish Captain Stenwick.

It isn't long before Sherlock and John stumble upon their first major clue: The Black Edelweiss Institute. There, they unravel the mystery of the mental institution, including how the previous director was disposed and taken over by the distasteful Professor Gygax who brutalises the patients and uses the Institute as a cover to procure sacrifices for an unknown ritual.

Despite a brief encounter with the unknowable, Sherlock and Holmes find letters pointing them to New Orleans. So, off they trot across the Atlantic where they learn details about an auction selling precious black opals and journey into the bayou to save Mr Arneson, a local man. There, they retrieve an ancient book.

Returning to London, the local bookseller is manages to decipher the unknown language, which points to a mythical sea god that looks very much like everyone's favourite eldritch being. With the help of maps at the bookstore, Watson is able to pinpoint the location for this grand ritual. Everything culminates in a 'battle' atop a lighthouse on the Scottish coastline, with the duo putting a stop to the summoning of Cthulhu to our plane of existence.

Riveting stuff, I must say! Although, as I've stated before, it would have been interesting to have had some more focus on the villain and their underlying motivations. Still, the relationship between Sherlock and John was compelling. Especially as they were still finding their feet as flatmates at 221B Baker Street and had yet to establish the strong rapport they would come to develop in the latter games.

As I've stated above, the gameplay itself isn't as good as its predecessor. No longer are there multiple cases to solve. The Awakened is primarily focused on the one major mystery of a disappearing manservant, which dovetails into a world of secret cults and their attempts to ritual summon something beyond human ken. Of course, in so saying, the case does come to a proper conclusion instead of leaving it open-ended to the player. No longer did I have to ponder if I made the right choice when it came to the cases Sherlock closed as I interpreted the evidence to their logical conclusions.

And because of this the game is also much shorter.

I finished The Awakened in only a few short hours and Howlongtobeat.com seems to indicate it's about 9 hours at most. That isn't to say short games are bad, and I'm thankful I didn't have to pay an exorbitant amount for it.

Another gripe I had were the mechanics themselves, such as the map not providing an indicator for where Sherlock was located. Thankfully, though, each of the sets were quite insular and there wasn't any significant fear one would get lost. Although, I'm sure if I had my direction challenged friends play, they might still lose their way.

Yet, I must confess I was still hoping for a meatier experience. Time will tell what the next Sherlock Holmes game will be or if there might be any new changes implemented to the pre-existing formula. I, for one, would be keen to see a slew of quality investigative games for my favourite detective. But for now, I will continue to wait even as madness beckons to me.

[the-infinite-dungeon]

The Infinite Dungeon Session 3

"So... the only time it resets... is... when we restart."

The group finishes their little rest, but notices that neither spells nor health feel much restored. But at least they have had some time to talk and chat. "You guys are maybe the most interesting people I've ever met", a statement which Guthrie makes in a casual manner, but it sure makes all of the group aware of the unintended bond they currently share. "What do you want to do when you get out of here?" The question somehow comes up in conversation, and each of the group's members answers them to the best of their knowledge.

Damien would just really like to take a big fat nap in his own bed. Not in a prison, not in a cell. Not surrounded by monsters and not caged in a place he does not know.

Beyond that, he has not given it much thought.

Lorem wants to keep exploring the Prime Material Plane. She hasn't spent much time in her home dimension, so she is hoping for a chill year travelling in that plane. Guthrie admits, that he kind of wants to keep in touch with the other people on the group. Despite all the hardships and the dire situation they are in, he tells them, that they all might be some of the most interesting people he has ever met. @abstractbabble (jack)"Is there like a phone for like the universe?!" on the subject on how to keep in touch with things. "I think Lorem would be able to track you guys down. That sounds like a threat... but it's not.", Sierra "It is a threat of FRIENDSHIP!", jack

The group makes their way up the stairs, once again, each of them standing on a different plattform lane. One of which is empty. They explore the plattforms carefully, and eventually they figure out, that by touch the glowing rocks close to them, they can make bridges appear for the people on other lanes. A puzzle race begins, in which each member of the group does their best to activate the bridges, so that each of them will reach the end. The empty fifth lane, at times rocks begin glowing and sparkling, causing other bridges to exist.

The group manages to make their way across the room safely, each of them decide to take the next flight of stairs. Only to be reunited in a peaceful, almost village like, space. Some shops and booths of the small market don't quite fit together. Seashells are sold next to weapons on the same stall, interior decor does not quite fit together, but it seems as if a market is supposed to take place here. Even more important! People! There are people standing around, but none of them seem to genuinely react to our adventurers. The group combats them with questions, but the strangers keep repeating the same lines, as if they are stuck on a script. A trading quest ensues, as a fish is acquired. After trading items with a variety of the odd strangers, the group is handed a key to the "inn's room". With that they are taken to the next level. A gigantic skull bug with a gnarly jaw and massive teeth awaits them. The surroundings look like an old overgrown temple. The skullbugs around the big creature take their turns to attack. Lorem fends off skullbugs from Lyr with her magic, making sure to keep a magic ward to create a circle of protection. As Guthrie observes the situation, Damien finally gets close to the enormous giant monster. It's time to get this over and done with. His patience has been running thin ever since he woke up the first time in this place. His jacket has been ruined, his nerves lie bare. He extends his right hand and casts Color Spray. Paint splatters rip into the creature with a velocity none of the other three have every seen before. They see Damien cast a spell, eventually the paint takes over the scene and neither Lyr or Lorem, nor Guthrie can see their companion anymore. The creature looks worse for wear, but before the crew can catch on to new hope, they hear a monstrous roar, that does not originate from their known enemy. Damien is gone.

Instead - a giant white wyrm-like creature with no eyes, but 6 legs and massive sharp teeth emerges next to the Skullbug Queen.

[subsequentibis]

Ooh, what's the general role of the Menagerie gonna be in Underbelly? It's been... god, too many years... since I've heard much about them and I'd love to hear how they've evolved since their first incarnation!

lots of interest in my good bitch! i love it, i love it!

SO! the menagerie is sort of the overarching antagonist of underbelly. they're in control of a lot of business interests in maudlin city both in the human world and the supernatural world. they're kind of the embodiment of capitalism. they want to be in control of absolutely everything, they want to know everything that's happening at all times, and they have a lot of money and surveillance at their command to uphold that.

spoilery things under the cut!

they also used to be in a relationship with lazarus that was SUPPOSED to be them manipulating him to do their bidding, and then they caught feelings. and then he realized how much they'd been goading him into and that he actually didn't want to be working for them because it was a cowardly sort of thing, taking orders from someone so he could just drift along and not have to think about what he wanted to do with his eternal life, and he rebelled and broke it off, and that was MESSY and the menagerie acts like they're over it, and they are so not over it.

for some backstory material, the menagerie used to be a low-ranking demon, more of an imp really. the demonic world is a separate plane of existence from the human world and demons are super powerful beings that have a ridiculously strict and bureaucratic society that restricts what they can do with that power because otherwise it'd just be total chaos all the time and nothing would ever get done. demons are functionally immortal as in they'll live forever unless something actively kills them, like another demon. as such, fights between demons are strictly forbidden - but they do still happen from time to time. back when they were a weak little thing, the menagerie came across two more powerful demons who'd had a fight. one of them was already dead, the other was near death but slowly healing from its wounds. so the menagerie had some serious dirt on this demon and could potentially blackmail it, because revealing it was fighting would have dire consequences, but also they'd forever have a target on their back from said demon. so they killed it and ate it and absorbed its powers. they did this with a few other demons as well, weaker ones that only gave it minute power boosts, but juuuust enough to do something no one had been allowed to do in eons - travel to the human world.

a lot of the power that demons have they do draw from the demonic plane itself so the menagerie is somewhat weakened now that they're cut off from that realm, but they can physically enact changes in the human world, which no other demon has ever been able to do, and that's veeeeery satisfying for them.

as far as interacting with sal specifically, the menagerie is VERY interested in the friend since it appears to be a new kind of creature that no one's ever seen before, and would really love to get their hands on it and sal, especially because sal appears to be laz's new beau.

[nasatestpilot]

Let me jump off the plane

I want to free fall

I want gravity to be in sole control

I'm tired of fighting for control

I'll finally be free

My limbs will go limp well before I land

No, I can't do that

I promise I'll be safe

When I pull the cord

It'll be the first parachute that I have ever had

All my life I always hit the ground

Get up, shake the dust, put some dirt on the wounds

Hide behind a smile, everyone likes it when you smile

No one can notice the broken bones or bruises

When they're hidden in plain view

Camouflaged behind the mask

That suffocates my truth

My lungs may be clean

But I'm always coughing

It's like I'm struggling for air

Maybe that's why I wrapped a belt around my neck at least three times

I forget if I tried more than that

I went to a gun shop out in the country

And chickened out before I bought one

I didn't want them to feel responsible for my death

On the first warm day of 2018

My childhood in the backseat

Smoke blown in my face

Ashes through the window

But I'm told that I am fine

I learned early on that my voice could be heard

I learned early on that no one ever cared to listen

I was taught to be ashamed of my mistakes

I should have already known even before I had a chance to learn

I'd accept that it's my fault so we could all move on

I'm not a victim because if I'm involved I am always the culprit

Any time I'm involved I receive a verdict of guilt

Be silent, be silent

No one wants to know the truth

Is it the truth if no one else agrees?

How was I to know?

I was just a kid

Reality is all perception

No love was shown in the house

This isn't what I wanted in a family

Hug me, hold me, tell me that I am valued

Please do something to show me that I matter

Put your arm around my shoulder

Let me feel that I am real

I'm scared that I only exist as a ghost

I could vanish at any moment

I'm an imaginary friend that's been forgotten

When a real person comes along

And I disintegrate into obscurity

Lay me into the fucking ground

So I don't need to haunt the world of my presence

I feared that I could never be accepted

I was embarrassed to like anything

And if I opened up

I'd only expose my insecurities

Which would inevitably lead to rejection

I need to keep my distance

To shield from all the pain

Unworthy of unconditional love

I want the suffering to end

Maybe if I'm the best then I'll be good enough

Maybe if I'm smart then they'll want to listen

Maybe if I'm funny enough they'll choose to spend time with me

Maybe if I'm good at sports I'll be able to express myself

I've only been told by my parents that I made them proud

When someone else gave me recognition

They never took my word when I told them I was good

I'm trying, I'm trying

I'm lying, I'm lying

I'm crying, I'm crying

I'm dying, I'm dying

I have lost the will to live

My imagination feels more real than what's around me

Living in fiction is the only thing that keeps me alive

Every time I try to fill my story with actual experiences

The whole plot falls apart

If I can't achieve what I've set out as my purpose

Then what's the fucking point?

My life may have been surrounded by people

But I spent it all alone inside my head

I know what selfish is

I was called it all the time

Well it's selfish to guilt me into staying

When you say that you need me

Since I carried that label any time I shared what I needed

How come this time it is different?

It's my life and if I choose not to live

Just accept it

Everyone already lived without me

Death is final but why not take the risk?

I've been conditioned to play it safe

And I'm breaking down the myth of authority

It's painful to read but once you're done you can move on

And worry about your own life

Everyone's going through a lot

Everyone feels a little numb

These feelings I share have existed as part of my life for as long as I can remember

I can think through and process and accept that I am not defined

By the thoughts that plague my mind

But these feelings come back every time that I feel the slightest bit of shame

And I feel shame with the even slightest fuck up

I work on it but I still can't make it stop

I try to be mindful but I end up being buried deeper

The spiral is too slick for me to grab on to anything

There's only one relief I know

It only occurs when something good happens

The script becomes flipped

And I become the me I want to be again

[janerogan]

god any recs for best supernatural fics?

Hi hello, why yes I do! Unfortunately, I don't have time or space to list every single beloved spn fic BUT I will give some highlights of one's I can remember off the top of my head. It's all Deancas cuz that's all I read really. Oh apart from As You Were which has no pairings. Obvi be aware of like tags and ratings cuz some of these deal with some heavy shit.

Four Letter Word for Intercourse was the first spn fic I ever read. I've reread it like 5x by this point. I adore it. Literally one of the most iconic spn fics I think, I knew about it before even starting spn

Canticles - no idea how to describe this it's just fucking GOOD. Beautiful writing. Also one of the first spn fics I ever read.

Cinderwings - LISTEN. THIS FIC. You want good worldbuilding? Look no further. It's a cinderella au when boiled down to it but that does in no way prepare you for the story. Dean is a prince, cas is an angel looking for the key to his peoples freedom under the guise of a masquerade ball.

And this, your living kiss - THEE poetry fic. If you love good Dean pov and characterisation and you love poetry or even if you don't like either then pls read this. Cas teaches poetry and Dean is a mechanic who published poetry under the pen name Jack Allen. It's beautiful.

Fenario - Lake House fic! An absolutely gorgeous post empty fic. My fave subgenre of Dean buying cas a house so he doesn't have to live in the bunker anymore and through renovation he's able to sort out some stuff about himself and how he feels.

Take the bones, begin anew - a post empty cas comes back fic. I love it so so tenderly. I am not immune to post empty fics. I could do a whole list just for cas comes back from the empty fics tbh.

Crossing lines and the sequel you want it darker - this series holds a special place in my heart. Also one of the only fics to make me cry (possibly the first?). It's a time travel fic where young Dean is pulled from the past and this forces Dean to assess the trauma he's been living with. It's really heavy going so, as with all these, check Tags. Just a heartbreaking exploration of deans life and trauma and relationships but in a really cathartic way. The sequel is much lighter and Dean is healing. Cannot stress the happy ending on this one.

Carnival oasis - creature cas! He's just a weird centuries old little guy who eats sin and Dean finds him in a tent at a carnival, advertising itself as a confession stand. Just,,, great cas characterisation and really interesting creature also. It's fun, it's silly, it's serious, it's good.

It's the end of the world as we know it - you will see the tag friends to enemies and think that braces you for the impact. It will not. Another one in which the worldbuilding and plot is just delicious. Like fucking hell, the way tiamatv paints a picture of the places the characters travel through... It astounds me. But yeah a real whirlwind adventure. Its set in high school and then jumps to when they're older and they reunite when the world is quite literally coming apart. It's got heartbreak. It's got other planes of existence. It's got cosmic horror. It's got incredible cas characterisation. It's got a suggested reading list embedded into the fic jskdkf. I love it so so much.

Here, bullet, here - a dean study but it's just,,, it's like poetry, it's so beautifully written. I adore it.

Let's take a drive - KID JACK FIC. It explores the implications and messy emotions of the characters if Jack DID de-age after the finale. It's messy but God is it soft and ends happy. Just a really beautiful study of relationship dynamics tbh.

Aching in the absence of you - oh it hurts but the payoff is worth it. Cas leaves the bunker and Dean let's him. As the tags say, it's a study in missing someone. Ends happy tho I prommy. Also, just generally I love sobsicles.

Dean Winchester Beat sheet - lichrally iconic college au. Another fan favourite also

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart) - really really tender possession fic where cas needs a vessel to reside in for a while and Dean offers himself up.

Under the midnight sun - so obsessed with this fic, the artwork is the best artwork I've ever seen embedded in a fic. Dean is camp manager at a research station in Alaska and he's been told that a new ornithological researcher will be camping a few miles away and not to bother him. The ornithological expert is ofc cas but things are NOT adding up so Dean keep an eye on him. The descriptions and details in this are so fucking delicious. It's a fic where it feels like the authors love for the story and the setting shines through so much you cant help but love it too.

The cheapest room in the house - starts off silly goofy, cas comes out as gay and Dean decides it's his job to guide cas throw that by downloading grindr for him. Do not be fooled by the silly goofy premise tho because it's also a heartbreaking exploration of Dean and it hurts man, amidst all the laughing Thom. This fic has it all. Dean disorders, so much second hand embarrassment, Dean and cas' weird boy best friend dynamic, incredible characterisation. The list goes on.

Muscle memory - I have never seen 50 first dates but this is an au of that and its soooooooooooooo gorgeous.

Empty spaces - really intense fic where John dies and Dean is struggling and then meets cas. It's about deans mental health and him experiencing an eating disorder. It IS hopeful tho. One of the only fics to make me cry.

As you were - de-aged Dean and Sam fic. NO pairings but it's them being taken care of by cas when they get hit with a curse and it destroys me with how loving it is. Dean and Sam being looked after in the way they deserved to be by John.

Not part of the plan series - it starts with a one night stand which in no way prepares you for the absolute beast that is this fic. Once again worldbuilding is incredible and also the politics and planning of the world is sooo? Fucking good. Its about the tension between a kingdom and its neighbouring Republic and the arranged marriage of Dean and cas. Lots of political intrigue but also the most satisfying build up to a relationship. Its a slow burn despite the one night stand start. There are so so many moments that have stayed with me from this and the amazing thing the author does is manage to write the characters with so much depth, everything is explored, the author never pushes anything to the side in order to get the characters or plot where they want it. If there are implications and repercussions, then they're getting explored.

[erismerald]

𝑰 𝒃𝒆𝒍𝒐𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒔𝒕 (Jacob Frye x reader) 𝑪𝒉𝒂𝒑𝒕𝒆𝒓 1

Hello, my lovely assassins, I've been away from writing for a while but I'm back! And I bring you a story of our beloved assassin Jacob Frye X F!reader, I don't know yet how many chapters this story will have but I hope you like it and have fun with it, I just want to remind you that I am open to requests if you want to send me a message!

𝑾𝒂𝒓𝒏𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔: Some fluff and Near Rape

𝑾𝒐𝒓𝒅𝒔: 3306

𝐋𝐨𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐧 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟎

You just got off the plane, you look around you, a feeling of excitement and euphoria fills your chest in a comfortable warmth, your gaze fixed on the incredible sight you had, you are amazed, it was your first time in London, and since you were a little girl you wanted to visit that wonderful city, You listened to the bedtime stories your grandmother told you, about the city, about what happened before it became as free a city as it is now, since you were 5 years old you have tried countless times to convince her to come with you to London, it was just you two against the world, she raised you in place of your parents, since they never cared much for you and your well being, and now you had just turned 18, and on this school trip you finally have the chance to make your greatest wish come true, you were so excited that it was hard to breathe, until you felt a hand lightly resting on your shoulder, it was your best friend F/n, she was looking at you with a huge smile, she knew how much you had asked your nanny to allow you to make this trip, In fact, you smiled as you remembered the conversation you had with her:

𝑭𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌

"Ahm nanny, can I talk to you? "You said leaning against the frame of the glass door of the living room, the atmosphere around you, was nostalgic, you loved the rain and the cold, your grandmother was sitting in a small brown armchair, old with time, in front of the big fireplace, the glass roof that both of you had built some summers ago allowed you to see the rain falling, even during the night, it was really calming, in her fragile hands was a book, you knew that book well "Ah that book ...." You approached slowly, and like a child you sat on the carpet looking at your grandmother with a gentle but mysterious smile.

"I know that look my dear, do you want to tell me something?" she asked already knowing what your look meant, you sighed through your nose and gave her permission for the trip "Y/n...." she said with a sweet smile, but before she could say something disapproving, you interrupted by putting both your hands on her lap on top of the book.

"Nanny you have told me so many stories about that city, why don't you let me explore, I.... I have saved enough money to be able to afford the trip, besides F/n will be there with me, can I go? I promise to draw everything I see, to show you nanny, but I want to find out who I am, so far I don't know where I belong..." you said sadly, it was true, you had a family legacy that tormented you for nights on end, your grandmother said it was a brotherhood that helped people but in your view they stole people's lives, to protect? It wasn't right, and you never accepted it, and preferred to believe it was just another bedtime story made up by your grandmother to make you a stronger person.

"Y/n... I wouldn't deny it dear, I encourage you to go, I'm too old to keep you here, besides it's only a month, what could go wrong? I just want you to be careful, and not to be fooled by anyone, and take this" she got up from the chair and walked to a wooden box hidden in the shelf, from there she took out a necklace, made with a coin? "This necklace belonged to a very important person, one that you know and that will make you know a better world and discover who you finally are" she gave you the necklace with a smile and let you enjoy it on your fingers.

"Who did it belong to?" you asked, curious about the small necklace that had been handed to you.

"Jacob Frye. That necklace belonged to Jacob" She said would be, but confident, you laughed a little, she looked at you confused.

"Nanny, you know I don't believe in bedtime stories anymore, Jacob Frye and Evie Frye are just characters in your stories, that you told me to put me to sleep, but they didn't exist but thank you for giving it to me, I will wear it proudly, even if it didn't belong to Jacob, it belonged to you and that's worth a lot, and Thank you for letting me go, I'll be eternally grateful," You said kissing her hand and smiling at her "Well now, how about I make you some tea and you read me some of your book of tales, remind me who was who?" she laughed and nodded, watching you disappear into the darkness that surrounded you.

𝑬𝒏𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒇𝒍𝒂𝒔𝒉𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌

"So excited huh?" she smiled and put her arm over your shoulder, as you laughed a little, it was a strange but warm feeling that you were in a place you had dreamed of so much.

"Of course, I am, you've seen the atmosphere! Can you imagine the adventures we'll have in a month here? I'm so excited I can feel my body energetic, I want to know, I want to visit, being here is just a demonstration that my journey to find out who I am, is going to go well!" you said excitedly as you picked up your bag and moved it to your classmates.

"I like seeing you like this, ever since you found out you were coming here, you've talked about nothing else" she laughed, you smiled shyly, grabbing the necklace your grandmother had given you before you left

"Where does that necklace come from anyway? Did your grandmother explain it to you?" F/n asked as she sat in front of you waiting for the teachers and the rest of the class to arrive.

"Well, she told me it would be useful to me in my future, I didn't quite understand, she said it belonged to one of the Frye twins, the ones she tells in the bedtime stories when we were little" you explained watching and twirling the pendant chained around your neck.

F/n smiled and thought for a moment before speaking, she seemed amused in her own thoughts, it was funny to see her like that you thought to yourself as you heard the teachers calling you to go to the bus.

"Do you think it could be true?" She asked getting up, and following the others, you stopped for a small moment, looked at the necklace, and smiled, Nah... it couldn't be true, could it? Since you were little you knew the story of the Frye brothers, their fight to save London from corruption, their adventures, your nanny loved to tell you those stories when you were younger, when she left the room you stayed awake for hours looking at the stars in the sky, closing your eyes and trying to feel the emotion they had, they were your heroes, you always admired them, but they were just bedtime stories, right? it couldn't be true, maybe your grandmother just said that to remind you of old times? You shake your head and go on your way.

*Time skip*

When you arrived at the hotel you were informed that you were going to make a night tour of the streets of London, you couldn't be more excited, you looked at F/n and she noticed your look immediately.

"I know that look," she said a bit teasingly "tell me what do you want to go and see?" you grabbed her hand and stormed out of the room "ahm calm down young lady, you are going to rip my arm off" you laughed a bit as you got into the elevator.

"You know I'd like to go see Big Ben at night and walk around there, what do you think? we could have dinner nearby, I want to draw the streets at night, to show my grandmother" you answered, going through the small backpack you had, confirming that you had everything there, pencils... sketchbook... wallet... watercolors... phone... you got scared when you heard F/n calling you, you were too lost in your thoughts.

"Hello? land call Y/n I've been calling you for 5 minutes" she looked at you with an amused smile on her face, you looked forward and finally noticed that you had arrived embarrassed, you looked to the side and smiled trying to disguise it "Come on let's go I'm hungry" she pulled you out of the hotel while signaling for a taxi.

As you walked through the streets of London, you imagined what it must have been like in 1850, you were always connected to history and literature, you loved to draw and your grandmother always fascinated you with her stories and her adventures here in London, it was here that she had met your grandfather, would the future also await you with unexpected adventures and romances?

*A few hours later

You were in a cafe near the big ban drawing the environment around you, in a way it seemed magical, it seemed that it wasn't real, you sighed happily while you put back the watercolors and your notebook in your bag, you looked at F/n and a group of friends that were with you.

"I'm going to the bathroom, I'll be right back!" you said, getting up and picking up your backpack, heading for the cafe's bathroom.

"Okay, try not to take too long, we'll be going to the hotel soon" F/n warned you as you walked away.

The bathroom was very rustic, it looked like it was from 1880, that was an interesting thing, when you finished doing what you had to do, you went to the small sink and looked at yourself in the mirror, your hair was tied up in a clumsy bun, and your eyes were more sparkling than usual, a small shade of pink adorned your face, you felt free, inspired, you were ready to have this adventure.

you made a little shell with your hand and took some water on your face to refresh it, when you looked in the mirror you saw a shadow behind you and the light had failed for a few seconds, suddenly you looked back afraid, but... there was no one there, could you have imagined it? Were you so tired that you imagined someone behind you? You took a deep breath, picked up your backpack and headed back to your friends' side, but something unexpected happened, when you left the cafe the atmosphere had changed, it didn't even look like the same cafe you had visited, the people were dressed in an old way, they spoke old English, what had happened? You felt fear invading your mind a little, still quite confused, you approached the bartender in an attempt to get an answer, but he seemed a little surprised to see you, he looked at you from top to bottom, with a disapproving look.

"ahm sorry, but what happened to the cafe? And did you happen to see a group of students on the outside terrace, do you know where they went?" He looked perplexed by what you had said.

"I'm sorry miss but, who are you? and what are those clothes you are wearing? And the student girl? I don't know where you come from but I don't want prostitutes or liars in my pub, if you can get out of here, I would appreciate it" you looked at him outraged, what does he meant by a prostitute? Clothes? Ahm you were really lost, but you respected the gentleman's answer and left, when you left you got an even bigger shock, the environment had changed, there were no cafes, the streets were badly illuminated, the people dressed differently, feeling a wave of fear invading your body you started to run like crazy, looking for someone who could help you, after many panicky minutes and without getting any answer you just sat down in an alley and started to cry, where are you? How could you have stopped there? Not even 10 minutes ago you were with your friends, and now you were alone.

You felt the raindrops wet your body and taking advantage that the rain disguised your tears, you hugged your body and tried to breathe, doubts and fears went through your subconscious until you heard the footsteps of someone approaching you, a feeling of hope invaded you but was soon replaced by fear.

"Hey there doll, want some company for tonight?" a man in his forties approached you, and crouched down beside you, he looked you up and down and examined your body, you tried to get up but he pulled you down and pinned you against the wall.

"You look strange, you don't look like you're from here... but I don't care, you'll do for tonight," he said trying to remove your clothes, you screamed and cried, while that pig undressed you and pinned you to the cold wall, the memories of your grandmother, your friends passed in your eyes while you felt your body being abused, you wanted to escape, you wanted to go home, you weren't ready for this... you should never have come .... out of nowhere you felt his body leave yours, he had fallen unconscious on the floor, you looked forward and saw another man, this one looked to be in his early 20's, his costume was different more hidden, he looked at you and helped you to pull yourself together, when you finally finished you looked up at him, his almond colored eyes bewitched you, he put his thumb on your face wiping the tears that were falling.

"I... I don't know... help me..." You fell to your knees on the ground but your body was held by the mysterious man who had saved your life, you felt safe and somehow protected in his embrace, but you weren't strong enough not to cry once again.

"Shhh love, it's ok" he hugged you tightly and pulled you closer to him "You look a little heated, do you have somewhere to stay?" His voice was husky but mesmerizing, but you couldn't answer as you had collapsed in his arms passed out, the fear, the cold, the pain had overcome the last thing you heard was him asking your name.

𝑱𝒂𝒄𝒐𝒃 𝒑𝒐𝒗

With a sigh the assassin took your face lightly, noting every feature of your face, his eyes slid down your body, it was true what he had heard, the rumors that there was a strange traveler roaming the streets was true, but your clothes looked nothing like what he had seen so far.

The rain fell on your bodies, he was afraid you would get sick, even though he didn't know you he couldn't leave you on the street after what had happened, in one movement he gently picked up your body and took your backpack, and went towards the streets calling for a carriage to take you to the station to take refuge on the train, and take care of you.

Getting into the carriage slowly, so you wouldn't be woken up, not that it would be possible to wake you up because you were fainting from exhaustion, but to prevent it, Jacob put your body on top of his, and with his coat wrapped around you, to warm you up.

"Evie will freak when she sees me... what the-" Jacob stopped his words as his gaze was drawn to the necklace that adorned your neck "How come she has this?" he said holding the necklace in his fingers and looking intensely at you "You really are an unexpected traveler."

The streets of London were bustling, the fight against Crawford Starrick, had not been won yet and there was still a long way to go, but still the streets of London was mesmerizing and agitated, the rain was a strange charm of the city, Jacob knew the streets well, he spent most of his time on the streets freeing people from the clutches of the templar.

But he was curious about this strange traveler, during the early evening some Rooks had told him about this mysterious girl who desperately asked crazy questions to people, some even theorized that she had escaped from some asylum, but Jacob had to see with his own eyes this strange girl who had stopped the city with her unusual appearance.

When he arrived at the station, he saw Grennie carrying some boxes of groceries into the train, and when he approached him with a girl in his arms, Henry ran to meet him helping him out.

"What the hell have you been doing now Jacob? Who this girl?" Henry placed his palm over her face, the heavy breathing and the heat she was eradicating were just signs of a strong fever "This girl is burning up we need to get her to a doctor" He said trying to pick up your body but Jacob refused.

"I am sorry my dear Grennie but unfortunately we can't take her to a doctor, she isn't from around here... I found her because of rumors of a strange traveler in town, but I didn't believe it until I saw her lying on the ground with a Blighter on top of her undressing her, the poor thing was terrified, I couldn't leave her there, but look at the way she looks" Jacob removed his coat a little from over you revealing the clothes your real look. "I don't know where she is from but inside her bag, there is some evidence that she isn't from here, I think it might be useful to us, on our mission... just..." Jacob looked at grennie's face with an abandoned puppy dog look.

"I...I don't know Jacob, Miss Evie will freak out about it, but since she might be useful, we can try to wait until she wakes up so we can ask her who she is" Jacob smiled at the answer, Henry opened the door to Jacob's wagon and helped him lay your body down on the small couch, where Jacob use for sleeping.

"Jacob I just got some news... What is going on here?" Evie said abruptly entering the "room" she looked at Jacob with a disapproving look, she walked over to your body examining you, you are burning up with fever.

"She was helpless with a Blighter on top of her doing God knows what, I wasn't going to leave her there alone, besides she's sick, I felt obligated to bring her here, besides Evie.... She is the girl of the rumors, if what they say is really true that she is not from here, she can be useful to us in this fight." Evie stood up and faced Jacob, she knew he was right but she didn't want to admit it, she knew well that her brother sometimes acted before he thought but at this moment he had the right thing to do.

"We'll take care of her until she recovers and we can get answers from her, we won't leave her on the streets, it's really dangerous, but try to consult me before you bring anyone else here, remember that we have a mission to accomplish, and "personal feelings, can compromise the mission" ". Evie said stroking your hair, "Now both of you get out of here, we can't let her sleep in her wet clothes or she'll get even sicker, and Mrs. Green can call a private doctor to come here to examine her?" Evie smiled sweetly in Henry's direction, who replied just as sweetly, walking off with Jacob, leaving you and Evie alone.

[bilbopaggins]

What’s your favorite sandwich and where did you eat it? A grilled Swiss and pesto. I got it at a local restaurant.

What’s your favorite place on earth? I love the Japanese garden/park near me

What’s one place you've visited that you never want to return? Kentucky

What’s the best show on TV right now? On tv now.. I'd have to say One piece

If you could only eat one food for the rest of your life, what would it be? Potatoes 🥔

What’s the worst movie you ever saw? Bee Movie

What’s the best thing you've read in the last five years? Cursed Bunny

What’s the one item of clothing you couldn't live without? My favorite shirt

If you could only bring three things with you on a deserted island, what would you pick?

2 books and a lighter

If you could save one material thing from a fire, what would you save? My my kitties' ashes

What’s your biggest pet peeve? When people act entitled

What is your favorite movie of all time? terminator 2 or clueless

What is the best concert you have ever been to? Radiohead

What’s the worst date you've ever been on?

I was still broken up about my ex and while on the date, something reminded me of him (my ex) and I started c r y i n g. 😱

Would you rather be hot or cold?

Cold. I hate being hot

What’s your favorite karaoke song?

Baby, one more time

What is on your bucket list?

Visit japan

What are you most thankful for?

My family

What is your biggest regret in life?

Drinking

What are you most afraid of?

Dying

What do you feel most passionate about?

Human rights

How do you like to spend your free time?

Playing a game or watching Netflix with my kitties and my partner

What would your perfect day be like?

Lots of drugs, live music, and sex. good food, good friends, and a bonfire

What does your dream life look like?

Married to my partner with a kid or 2 and a couple cats. I'd like to own a home and have stable income. I'd like to be able to travel a lot. I'd like to move away from the Midwest. Maybe somewhere overseas.

What is your favorite urban legend that you believe is true? If you hear an owl hooting, death will come soon (not necessarily for you but someone you know)

Would you rather live without the internet, or without bathing?shit bruh, I've got depression. I barely bathe now. Lol.I'd rather live without bathing.

What was the best decade for music?

Late 90s, early 2000s

Is it ever OK to lie?

Yeah, depending on the situation.

Who’s the most overrated celebrity?

Jack black. Dude, you're not funny. Just stop.

What’s the worst seat on a plane?

Anywhere that's not a window seat in the middle of the place.

What’s the most annoying thing people do in public? Exist

Are avocados overrated? They're eh, ok

Who’s your dream dinner party guest, living or dead? Sylvia plath

What would you do tomorrow if you won a million dollars today? Buy myself a house. Buy a house for my mom. Pay off all the debt collectors and people who've loaned me money.

Is a hot dog a sandwich?

No, are you kidding me?

Are you a dog person or a cat person and why? I'm a cat person because dogs are slobbery and gross and like to jump all over you. Ew. I love them but no.

Were Ross and Rachel really on a break?

Dude, I never watched that show and I never will.

Who is the most important person in your life and why? My partner or my mom. My partner is my best friend. He is the sweetest, funniest person and I feel safe with him. My mom is supportive of me and is one of my closest friends.

Who in your life most makes you feel a sense of home? My partner ❤️

Do you have a mentor? Nah

Have you ever broken up with a friend, and why?

Yes, because she was a raging bitch. She was mean and didn't accept me for I am and liked to put me down.

How many close friends is ideal?

Like 3

Do you believe in soulmates?

Yeah, I do

What is the best compliment that you’ve ever received? I like when people call me creative or compliment my sense of style.

What do you want people to say about you at your funeral? She was one bad bitch.

What is something people would never guess just by looking at you? I'm into some kinky shit.

What makes you laugh the most? My partner makes me laugh all the time.

Have you ever made a decision that changed your life? Dude, like lots.

What was the happiest day of your life?

Probably when I picked up the first Borderlands game with my partner. It had come out like the day after my bday and we both took a few days off to stay up late and play it and eat junk food. It was amazing ❤️

What’s your favorite thing about yourself?

My sense of style probably

What did teachers used to say about you on your report card—and is it still true?

Depends on the year. From grade school to junior high, I was great. I was really good and really quiet and got excellent grades. Teachers all liked me and said I was really smart, quiet, and creative. In high school though, I was terrible. I skipped all the time to get high and would show up to class drunk or high. I did that til I decided to drop out. My teachers said I was smart and creative but disruptive, rarely attends class, and I needed to apply myself more. I don't drink anymore but I'd say the rest is still true.

What’s something you wish you could change about yourself? My weight

What’s the most exciting part of your job?

I'm currently unemployed 🙃

What would you want people to say about you at your retirement party? That I worked hard, did a great job, and everyone loved me.

What’s the most important thing you've ever done at work? Stayed with someone as they were dying.

What’s your ideal work-life balance?

Ideally I want to be my own boss and set my own hours.

What’s the best piece of career advice you ever got? Interviews aren't just about potential employers interviewing you. You are interviewing them as well.

What was something you thought was a career setback that actually turned out to be an opportunity?

I got nothing for this one 🤣

What are the most important qualities in a leader? Integrity and honesty

What was your first job?

Server/ hostess at Steak n shake

[ask-octoberotto]

It was difficult to tell what time it was in the space out of bounds; time practically moved at a crawl, the sun and moon didn’t exist, and rarely did anything change in this space. A dull, quiet drone murmured over the air that somehow made this place feel more empty. There was a small discrepancy however: upon a blank platform in an otherwise sea of white void was the only spot with colors. It looks like a parlor, a library, and laboratory rolled into one space.

Book shelves and filing cabinets stuffed with vital information, a velvet antique loveseat adorned with pillows, mahogany coffee table, a record player, an old work desk adorned with computers and strange typewriters, the floor covered with scattered papers… and a mobile chalkboard with notes on programming were hastily scribed on its surface. Mihai was alone, as he always was these days. Today he was on his computer, one that looked like it was Frankensteined into a bizarre, indescribable mess of a machine. More research was needed if he ever was going to win the attention of an outsider…

Em approached the platform, with a facsimile of her favorite cookies on a tray in her hands- double chocolate with a dash of cayenne heat, lovingly coded herself. Despite being undetected, she had a strange sense that Mihai could feel her approach, though that could’ve been the nerves. The wall resisted her slightly, the way things do when they’re uncertain. Near one corner, there was a soft, permeable plane. She turned and pressed her back to it, then stepped through.

The cookie tray rattled a bit as it clipped through the edge of a bookshelf, but otherwise everything was intact. Still, the sound was jarring enough to ruin her graceful entrance.

Em took a breath and put on a warm smile, “Hey, Mister Anghelescu.”

Mihai’s pointed ears seemed to twitch a bit as Em approached, an instinct he hasn’t quite been able to fully control. But even before he could hear her, the distinctive air of disturbance was felt as he noted another presence just entered an otherwise vastly empty plane.

He turns to face her, his gold, goat-like eyes being the only truly discernible thing that wasn’t obscured by hazy shadows. Even with the lack of a fully visible face, Em got the feeling he was surprised by her appearance.

“Ah, welcome. I certainly wasn’t expecting a visitor, Em,” he chuckled, “Forgive the mess—I would’ve tidied up if I knew you were visiting.”

"Oh, it's fine. I've never been one for keeping things too orderly, either." She felt slightly more at ease that he didn't reject her presence outright, like most of the people she'd been interacting with outside her universe. "I uh, made a little something for the occasion, but I don't know how they taste yet, so forgive me if they suck."

“Oh?” Mihai’s eyes widened a bit in curiosity, mostly because he hasn’t remembered a time someone truly wanted to gift him something.

Em nodded, placing the cookie tray down on his desk, "Yeah! Spicy chocolate cookies- they're one of my sister's favorite recipes... Y'know, she always says she hates baking, but likes tasty food enough to do it anyway."

“…Thank you,” he said, tentatively taking one for the moment. “So, what brought you here to visit me? As far as I can tell, most spiders seem to hate me and purposefully misunderstand me..”

“That’s kind of why, actually…” Em trailed off for a second, “I don’t think anyone should have to be so alone, especially not in a bitter world like this. The cluster doesn’t really like me, either- I know how it stings when people jump to assume the worst in you… The frustration of it all, I guess.”

“… Yes. I suppose that is why I spent so long pursuing that Doctor Otto,” Mihai considered it for a moment as he glances back the nightmare of wire and machinery that served as his way to influence the world. “As much as it pains me, I see that chasing after his affections is.. distracting me from my escape. I wish he understood but he refuses to let go of this accursed world. And the others? They simply don’t realize that my world is fundamentally doomed from the start. There is no saving it.”

He sighs as he sets the cookie aside onto the tray and begins typing on his computer’s keyboard.

“…Which is why I am now trying to reach out to those on the outside world that were responsible for the creation of this dimension. They have more power than anyone else over this world. They should be able to change things…”

"That's pretty clever... I've dabbled in this stuff, myself, but I'm nowhere near that level of talent."

“Ah, I’ve been doing this for decades now. It took me years to learn about the coding and what it can do,” If his face were just more visible, a knowing smile would’ve been easy to spot… the only visible thing that indicated this were his eyes.

Em leaned on the back of his chair, watching the screen. She took a moment to ruminate on what exactly he meant by 'outside'- a higher reality, she supposed.

"What do you plan on doing, if you get out there? Like... What's the first thing you'd wanna do?" She asked, playfully.

“… Well, I hope to find someone who loves me there. It shouldn’t be too hard—I’ve learned that some people outside would kill to have a ‘character’ such as me be ‘real’ to them. Its a documented phenomenon that I wish to experience for myself…” He trails off for a bit. A tone of despair hidden underneath layers of his otherwise friendly demeanor began to surface. “.. I just.. feel too distant from everyone in this world. None of it is real. I just want to be real.”

"It's scary to watch the world go flat." Em commented, "I guess having things to do might help stave off the antsiness, though. Even if it doesn't feel totally real, sometimes... I don't know, a distraction might help... You wouldn't mind if I stop in like this more often, right?"

“… It would be a nice change of pace,” he said, pausing his typing, “While I technically do have a ‘life’ I live in, the people who are part of my ‘friendships’ are not really friends. They’re friends with a lie. Nor would they ever be able to grasp what I am or what I know…”

"Just another part of the game, huh? That must be pretty hard." she nodded, "I think I've gotta get back to my own universe before the kids get in trouble, but I'll stay in touch, kay? Maybe I can even bring you some more things from my world."

“Of course,” he nodded, looking back to face her. “I’d love to speak with you more often.”

[old-childhood-drama]

Taylor Swift and Joe Jonas Masterpost (Toe/Jaylor)

Before dating (May 2008)

We start with the Taylor lookalike

In May 2008 the Jonas Brothers are filming their music video for Burnin’ Up [x]. Joe’s love interest in it is played by a blonde girl who looks quite a bit (and she’s also styled) like Taylor Swift, for reference, this is the music video that has Selena Gomez as Nick Jonas’ love interest.

As far as we know they hadn’t even met so we don’t know exactly what this was supposed to mean, maybe Joe had a crush on Taylor or maybe it’s a coincidence.

We do know that Nick and Selena were dating when this was filmed and that by the time the MV was released (July 4th, 2008) Joe and Taylor were officially dating.

Toe is alive! (July 2008 – September 2008)

On Tour

Fans claim to have seen Taylor around the tour in early July, which matches with Taylor’s lyrics in "Last Kiss".

Last Kiss. Taylor Swift.

I do recall now the smell of the rain

Fresh on the pavement, I ran off the plane

That July 9th, the beat of your heart

It jumps through your shirt

On July 14th, Taylor and The Jonas Brothers perform “Should’ve Said No”[x] from her debut album, and this performance now forever exists in their 3D movie (a classic), a cute fact is that some fans have said that Taylor tripped when she first came out, so they had to repeat it for the movie.

On July 20th Joe flies to Wyoming to watch Taylor opening up for Rascal Flatts, and they flew back and she was spotted at the Omaha show.

She’s seen in a couple shows more and she joins the stage again for their Madison Square Garden shows in August [x]. They sing “Even now just looking at you feels wrong”.

They’re together but they’re not together.

For more context, we must remember that Taylor was a very new artist from a small label and The Jonas were pretty much at their peak and Disney’s biggest act, and they were managed like crazy and could never even think about being seen with someone in a romantic way. Any rumors were denied so fast, and Disney did the absolute most to keep it secret. So according to everyone they were just good friends, at the time both Taylor and Selena were annoyed by all the secrecy.

Now back to the timeline:

Taylor is backstage of the tour A LOT for the next couple of weeks right next to the other not-girlfriends Selena and Danielle.

She films a cameo for the “Love Is on Its Way” [x] video for the concert in New York. She was said to be only interested in hanging out with Joe and they were seen hugging *gasp* I know it doesn’t seem like much now but back then this was the hottest gossip and again the Jonas were not supposed to breathe near any human of the opposite gender.

Taylor and the Jonas were staying at the same hotel a bunch of rumors ensued, but I will not talk about the whole Olympics and Toe locking themselves in a room at midnight thing. If it’s real, we really needed to touch some grass and stop staying outside of people's rooms all night.

On August 17th Joe goes to Ryan Seacrest's show and denied that Taylor is his girlfriend in the best way a corporation like Disney can train you to deny something that’s true. Saying Taylor is “a great girl and I think anybody would be lucky to date her. I think anybody would love to go on a date with her.”

And Taylor tells People Magazine “He’s an amazing guy and anybody would be lucky to be dating him” Cinematic parallels.

Taylor is spotted in the back (in a mirror) of one of the Jonas youtube videos [x]. Basically, we all knew they were together.

The Central Park date (August 28th)

Now if you were a fan of either the Jonas Brothers, Selena, or Taylor you know this next part and it the iconic triple date of Central Park.

Again, this is kind of famous at this point and Selena has been quoted saying how awful it was because the boys were not allowed to be seen with them so they all went to Central Park (Selena’s first time in Central Park) and Taylor and Selena walked about 20 feet of distance from the guys so nobody would think they were together but we all already knew because it wasn’t like they were that good at hiding it and there are pictures of them together that night (the clownery of it all).

These backstage tour adventures are the reason Taylor and Selena are friends today and in Selena’s own words the best thing to come out of those relationships.

VMAs (September 2008)

With how many pictures of them together that night [x] [x] [x] exist you would think they had gone together as a couple but no just two besties! The 2008 VMAs are so the show where Russell Brand mocks the Jonas Brothers and their purity rings and Taylor publicly defends them.

Toe seems happy for the rest of September but as we know now the end is near.

The Break-Up (October 2008)

Social Media was different back then and Taylor did what every teen girl with a broken heart did in 2008 and she went to myspace with an edited post to make a statement about the Toe current situation.

Post-Breakup

The 27 seconds Joe Jonas will regret for the rest of his life.

Taylor went on Ellen and I don’t even think I need to say much this interview is THAT iconic she sat on that couch and told the world exactly how Joe had broken her heart in the following two quotes:

“There’s one that’s about that guy, but…that guy’s not in my life anymore unfortunately. That guy…that’s an ouch.”

“I’m not even gonna be able to remember the boy who broke up with me over the phone in 25 seconds when I was 18…it was like 27 seconds, that’s got to be a record.” [x]

She also went on Ryan Seacrest’s and when asked about the perfect guy she saw an opportunity and took it, saying “I used to always say sense of humor, but I think that it’s important to have the same kind of sense of humor. I have a really dry, sarcastic sense of humor and if somebody doesn’t think that my sense of humor is funny, then that’s not something that is good. Um, so sometimes you know, that can be a wrong match. If they’re not allowed to go in public with me, that’s sort of an issue too.” [x]

Bonus the amazing youtube video Taylor posted with Joe’s Camp Rock doll and how he comes with his own phone to break up with other dolls [x]. Taylor eventually went full out and cited Camilla Belle (then girlfriend of Joe) as the reason for the breakup. And you know someone at Disney’s PR office wanted to die when this was going down.

So finally, Joe was forced to acknowledge the whole situation with a Myspace post:

"I never cheated on a girlfriend. It might make someone feel better to assume or imply I have been unfaithful, but it is simply not true. Maybe there were reasons for a breakup. Maybe the heart moved on. Perhaps feelings changed. I am truly saddened that anything would potentially cause you to think less of me. For those who have expressed concern over the "27 second” phone call. I called to discuss feelings with the other person. Those feelings were obviously not well received. I did not end the conversation. Someone else did. Phone calls can only last as long as the person on the other end of the line is willing to talk. “

Forever & Always

Now this song is known as THE Toe song and it was born out of the end of the relationship when she felt Joe was getting distant, but she couldn’t do anything to help it, it was made really late into the production of Fearless so she had to rush to finish it in time (so no other breakup songs are about Joe in the original album).

Forever & Always Was I out of line? Did I say something way too honest, made you run and hide Like a scared little boy I looked into your eyes Thought I knew you for a minute, now I’m not so sure

In the 2009 Grammy's Taylor and Miley (insert The Ex-Girlfriends Club Theory here) performed Fifteen (obviously not about Joe) and the Jonas were in the audience. I believe this is probably around the time Taylor writes Mr. Perfectly Fine and You All Over Me, which we know get to have thanks to Fearless (Taylor’s Version) 13 years later.

You All Over Me

The best and worst day of June

Was the one that I met you

With your hands in your pockets

And your 'don't you wish you had me' grin

But I did, so I smiled, and I melted like a child

Now every breath of air I breathe reminds me of then

Mr. Perfectly Fine

'Cause I hear he's got his arm 'round a brand-new girl

I've been pickin' up my heart, he's been pickin' up her

And I never got past what you put me through

But it's wonderful to see that it never phased you

In November of 2009, she also goes to SNL and mocks Joe in her monologue. "You might think I'd bring up Joe That guy who broke up with me on the phone But I'm not gonna mention him *rolls eyes* In my monologue [Spoken:]Hey Joe, I'm doing real well, tonight I'm hosting SNL [Sings:]But I'm not gonna brag about that In my monologue [x]"

To make things even more dramatic and very awkward The Jonas Brothers, Demi Lovato, and Taylor Swift spent NYE together watching the ball drop on TV and this was probably not how they wanted to start their years. [x] [x] [x] and a video [x]

Now let’s discussed some of the songs that came out at the time. The Jonas response to Forever & Always was Much Better. Nick described it as a song that was very personal to Joe and Joe went on to say that it was based on his very interesting year. They also at some point wanted to pretend the song was about their love for their fans but come on. Joe also changed the lyrics from ‘superstar’ to ‘country star’ and later changed it to ‘movie stars’ when he broke up with Camilla who is the ‘Much Better’ girl from the song.

Much Better - Jonas Brothers

I get a rep for breakin’ hearts

Now I’m done with superstars

And all the tears on her guitar

I’m not bitter

But now I see

Everything I’d ever need

Is the girl in front of me

She’s much better

Taylor’s iconic response in Better Than Revenge seems to be more of an attack on Camilla. She’s spoken about her regret for this song since then and hasn’t played it in years and Camilla seems to be ok we never forgiving her for it [x] [x]. Regardless this song remains a staple of the genre ‘Feminism OFF, Bops ON’.

“I was 18 when I wrote [“Better Than Revenge.”] That’s the age you are when you think someone can actually take your boyfriend. Then you grow up and realize no one can take someone from you if they don’t want to leave”. - Taylor 2014.

Better Than Revenge - Taylor Swift

Let's hear the applause (Come on, come on)

Come on, show me how much better you are

(So much better, yeah?)

See you deserve some applause

'Cause you're so much better

She also released "Last Kiss" about the nicer part of their relationship, and some believe other songs such as If This Was a Movie, Haunted (Speak Now) and Jump Then Fall (Fearless) are about Joe. From the Jonas, the other song believed to be about Taylor is Paranoid (Lines, Vines and Trying Times).

Jump Then Fall

Well, I like the way your hair falls in your face

You got the keys to me

I love each freckle on your face, oh

I've never been so wrapped up, honey

Probably a song was written about and in the early days of their romance and the long hair freckles [x] thing definitely fits 2008 Joe.

If This Was a Movie

Baby, what about the ending?

Oh, I thought you'd be here by now

Thought you'd be here by now

According to some this song is a sister song to "Last Kiss" in the same album and that is confirmed to be about Joe.

Haunted

Come on, come on, don't leave me like this

I thought I had you figured out

Something's gone terribly wrong

Won't finish what you started

This song would be a sister to Forever & Always since Taylor described both to be about a relationship that was fading in the end and that she was confused as to how they got there in the first place.

"‘Haunted’ is about the moment that you realize the person you’re in love with is drifting and fading fast. And you don’t know what to do, but in that period of time, in that phase of love, where it’s fading out, time moves so slowly. Everything hinges on what that last text message said, and you’re realizing that he’s kind of falling out of love. That’s a really heartbreaking and tragic thing to go through because the whole time you’re trying to tell yourself it’s not happening. I went through this, and I ended up waking up in the middle of the night writing this song about it.” Taylor

Friendlier days are coming (2010- )

I guess time can heal a lot of wounds and Toe is seen hugging and on friendly terms at the Clive Davis party on January 31st of 2010 [x].

The world was so shocked when we realized that Joe went to see her perform in a couple of her shows in September 2011 [x] [x], and in here Holy Ground is born about her new evaluation of their former relationship rather than the bitterness of the breakup. The lyrics' secret message is “when you came to the show in SD” and the potential parallel to "Last Kiss".

Holy Ground - Taylor Swift

We blocked the noise with the sound of ‘I need you’

And for the first time I had something to lose

And I guess we fell apart in the usual way

And the story’s got dust on every page

But sometimes I wonder how you think about it now

And I see your face in every crowd…

… Tonight, I'm gonna dance

For all that we've been through

But I don't wanna dance

If I'm not dancing with you

Last Kiss - Taylor Swift

I do remember the swing of your step

The life of the party, you’re showing off again

And I roll my eyes and then

You pull me in

I’m not much for dancing

But for you I did

They're seen talking in the MTV's EMA's 2012 [x].

From here they seem to be friendly and in May of 2015 after the Billboards. They even go on a double date later that year with Gigi Hadid, Calvin Harris, and Karlie Kloss (this picture feels so cursed). Nick and Joe get invited to Taylor’s 4th of July party and they seem somewhat distant after his split from Gigi.

Present (2020- )

In 2020, we got the amazing surprise of folklore with the song ‘Invisible String’ that makes a reference to Taylor’s past songs about exes being harsh and how she sent Joe and his wife Sophie Turner a present for their baby girl’s birth. In 2021, she has now released the re-recordings of Fearless and we are all reliving the drama and enjoying the chaos of Taylor’s and Sophie’s friendship not letting Joe know peace for those 27 seconds over a decade ago.

Invisible String

Cold was the steel of my axe to grind

For the boys who broke my heart

Now I send their babies presents