#I feel like I'm so behind people younger then me have such amazing skills and mine just suck

[secondbeatsongs]

Hello, you said in some tags in a poll that Speed Racer (2008) is your favorite film. If you’re okay with it, I’d really like to hear more about why you love it. I love the Wachowskis’ work (they’re among my favorite directors), but I kinda ended up bouncing off Speed Racer (2008). So, hearing that it had a real impact on someone makes me very curious why. I’m not interested in criticizing your opinion or arguing with you, I’d just really like to know why you love it in the hopes I might be able to enjoy that movie more in the future.

oh god this is from seven months ago, I'm so sorry - but I do love almost everything about Speed Racer (2008) and I still think about it nearly every day.

I love that it's so bright and colorful and absurd. I love that it's an anime in live action form. and I love that at its heart, it is a story about love.

it's about the mistakes people make out of love, and the consequences of that. it's about the way children grow to understand why the adults around them make the choices they do, and maybe choose to do the same things. it's about taking risks for the people you love, and the pain of failing to change the world, because everything is capitalism and everything hurts.

(and it's also about being transgender btw. like, that's one of the main things about it - it is very much a movie about being transgender)

what if your father's choices hurt your older brother, and your older brother's choices hurt you, and now it's you and your younger brother staring down a future where you're going to end up hurting him by making the same choice?

and then...what if you can escape that? what if the broken parts put themselves back together, and the hope doesn't run out, and you're not alone with the things that haunt you? what then?

and now you're at the end and mistakes were still made, people were still hurt, but everyone's grown and changed and they're different now. and they've figured out that maybe, just maybe, you can change the world by doing something you love, by creating art and beauty and making people feel things.

maybe you really can defeat capitalism by driving a car really fast. and even if everyone thinks you can't...don't you have to try anyway? shouldn't you fight with the skills you have, the only way you know how?

what if it works?

and I'm not even gonna get into most of the Racer X stuff (because I want people to go watch this movie, and most folks probably won't be spoiled for it), but his whole deal is just...everything. I love him.

(if there's a guy from Speed Racer that I want to put in a jar and shake every so often, or maybe wrap in a blanket so he can have a nice nap, it's Racer X. he's a great character. prime blorbo material)

anyway I've been rotating this movie in my head ever since I saw it for the first time, and I think I've seen it...seven? times now? and I still cry at the final race, and I still get blown away by the intro sequence.

(the beginning of the movie is genuinely one of the best things I've ever seen - it does an amazing job of introducing you to the world and the story of the characters, and gets you emotionally invested in it right from the start. it's fantastic filmmaking)

also like. story stuff aside, from a technical standpoint, the movie is a masterpiece. it's the type of thing that people hated when it first came out, but when you look at it now and see how it was made, how it intentionally looks bizarre and cartoonish, plastic and surreal, you can see the exact vision the Wachowskis were going for, and it's brilliant.

the way they did the visual effects, the way they made the outdoor scenes feel so detailed, the way the driving and the tracks work - they put so much thought into that, and the behind-the-scenes vids show how cool their process was.

also uhhh cars go vroom, crash into each other, flip upside down, explode, maybe have bees and hammers in them sometimes?

(the above is me complimenting the unhinged vibe of the races themselves, which I love very much)

anyway I could make other full posts about the script of the film and how much I love it, or the cool side characters, or the fanfic potential of the amazing world of the film, or how I can prove that it's set in 1991...but I guess if anyone wants those rants, they'll just have to watch the film and then come talk to me. :)

(please. please come talk to me about Speed Racer.)

so, yeah! I kinda lost my mind there and made this post way longer than I intended, but I do feel strongly affected by this movie, and I hope this has helped explain why.

[seeminglydark]

Idk if this means anything to you but I'm a comic artist who's had a hard time doing art for a few years. The first four was because of life hardship and lack of time/chronic pain, but now lately I've had time but a mental block. I'm creeping up on 30 and felt bad about myself for "missing out" on my opportunity to be a comic artist. It was really validating to see you post about being 41 (correct me if I'm wrong) especially since you have such wonderful comics that I've been following for a while now. It makes me feel less like I'm wasting my time putting my things in order when I "should" be drawing.

Hopefully this doesn't come across as offensive or anything. It was just comforting and validating. Anyway, big fan! Love your characters a whole lot and hope you have a good day!

Dear Anon

I am 41 years old. I have wanted to make comics my entire life. before my dad got sick, and my childhood kinda fell apart, all i did was draw. after that, i used the stories in my head to cope. life moved on. i was convinced not to accept a partial scholarship to an art school in California. life got hard. i worked at a hotel, and after i escaped an abusive relationship at 22 i hitchhiked/bused far far away to start over. i tried to make comics again, but i had to survive, and so i got another job doing the only thing i knew how to do, hotels. and i worked. and worked. and life got harder and times got heavier and i didn't get time to draw and i worked double hours, 15 to 17 hours a day. and i went four years without drawing a single thing.

i kept working myself into the ground. i was 29 now. i picked up a pen again and drew a red haired boy. he had a hard life and no love and no friends. his problems were on the outside, for everyone to see. he ran away but his problems went with him.

i was 32. surely i was too old now. my time to be an artist was gone. i had no school. no hope. i was so far behind the younger gen i saw online. i cried. all the time. i wrote stories in my email drafts while i worked shifts. i stayed up late trying to learn how to draw again. i cried some more. the boy grew. i called him Fiach. worthy. a raven. later i renamed him Avery. he was like a bird, he had wings, he was my hope. i started writing some friends for him. the people i wished i had around me.

i started finding time and space. i got a new job, something where i was lucky enough to set my own hours. for the first time i had a partner who believed in me. things were hard. but i was drawing now. and that helped.

i went on a road trip and i started drawing pages of an unnamed story on 6 by 8 paper in a sketchbook. i drew 20 of them. 'what could i call this?' i thought. Nothing Seems as Dark...no says my partner. Seemingly Dark. he made me a logo. i was 35. i bought an ipad, i cant do this on paper, its too much story i have too much to say. so i learned how to draw digitally by tracing my own trad art pages.

I spoke to my dad for the last time on June 17th, fathers day that year. he said 'you're good. i'm proud. and you're gonna do amazing things. none of this is your fault. and we will speak again soon.' i didn't know id never hear his voice again. he died a week later.

i turned 36. i kept trying. i'm old, i don't understand the internet. how can i share this?

i stumbled across Lore Olympus. i was introduced to webcomics. id read comics online before but the thought never occurred to me. i opened an account on Tapas. and then i stared at it. what if no one likes it. what if its bad. my art isn't good. i should wait til i'm better. but will i ever really be better? or will i always believe that tomorrow is better? do it now. if even one person gets something out of this story, this story about a boy who is you, a boy who looking for hope, a boy who might make it, then that is enough isn't it.

June 17th 2018 i launched Seemingly Dark.

SD's five year anniversary is in a week. 0ver 700 pages. leaps and bounds in progress with my skills. a printed comic under my belt as of monday. i was always a storyteller. but i was always an artist too.

I am 41 years old, dear anon. I did not truly embark on this journey til i was 35. life got in the way. even now, chronic illness gets in the way. but its worth it. its never ever too late. i believe in you the way my dad believed in me. i reset my life again and again. but I was always an artist. and if thats who you are, and who you want to be, even if things dont go the way you wished they could, you're an artist too.

im 41 years old. i speak about my age, even though i often feel too old to belong in spaces, cuz really, in this case age is just a number. take care of yourself. do what you need to do. and little by little, when your able, carve out your space until it becomes more of a habit. sometimes i think about all the years i lost not drawing or creating. but there's a lot of factors that make me believe had i made my story then, it wouldn't be the story it is now, i needed to live a bit. i needed to find myself. i know this was long, but i just wanted you to see i also had to put my life in order, and getting notes like this reminds me it wasnt at all a waste. im glad i could offer you some comfort. thats honestly the best compliment i could ever receive.

TL;dR I was 35 when i sat down and seriously started making comics, because life always got in the way and so did my confidence. i always feared being too old. im 41 now, still going strong.

[imsailorpluto]

So I've finally finished Bloodhounds (+ ahjussi collection)

...and I have no idea where to start and what to say and how to feel.

No, wait, please hear me out.

It was b l o o d y and at parts a very difficult watch, as it has lots of explicit fighting scenes, which look extremely realistic and cruel. So cruel that I had to close my eyes and not watch, I even skipped many & i'm not sorry. However, there are also parts so heartwarming that it makes you forget about all the crimes and gore for a moment. So, it's up to you to decide if it's worth the struggle. Since the violence could be a bit too much for many, let's just say I do and don't recommend this one at the same time. Personally, one of things I greatly enjoyed is the subtle comic tone of Gun-woo's and Woo-jin's interactions with each other and their characters which represent people doing sports professionally so well, the purity of their hearts and lack of malice in everything they do, since they truly do live for the sports. Then there are two absolutely powerful and skillful young women, Hyeong-ju and Da-min, playing such important roles in the entire series, each of them individually contributing so much to the entire plan of bringing the bad guys down and saving what could still be saved. And also, one of the most enjoyable parts were definitely the bonds that came out of these newly formed friendships. Younger acting crew did an amazing job. In comparison to the older and experienced ahjussi crew (I'll get to them in a bit), they've got some serious talent. It must have been a huge undertake for both Woo Do-hwan and Lee Sang-yi to live up to the expectations of the entire team behind this drama. And they did it. They absolutelly slayed.

If you still haven't watched this drama, trust me when I say these two cinnamon rolls will instantly win your heart right at the beginning of the first episode. They're like the most perfect two besties you'd want to be besties with too. And yeah, you'll suffer thru all the horrors just to see them win the biggest battle of their lives. Gosh, every time I tried typing something coherent about them it just ended up being lots of crying shaking throwing up. They're the best, ok? And this is best I can do. ╥﹏╥

And while our marine boys scratched so many itches around this platform, I have to mention the absolute gentlemen that starred in this series and swept me off my feet *deepest sigh ever*

So many great actors took part in Bloodhounds, it's hard to believe my own eyes at times. Whoever was in charge of the casting did a killer job. I couldn't even take the bad guys seriously because they're freakishly handsome. Well, at least not until Kim Myung-gil brutally ended my favourite ahjussi trio damn you ep 6

What started as an obsession over two young marine guys and their bromance ended up as a hole in my heart over downfall of three middle aged criminals men and a will to trade all the money and gold bars for their lives. And more importantly, a huge appreciation for Korean actors over the age of 40.

No, let's be real. They're handsome and talented and great at their job and deserve all the love and support. With that in mind... here's a tiny screenshot dump because it would be a shame not to post it:

And I want to be normal about them and move on in peace but *internal screams* I've already mentioned Lee Hae-young in one of my earlier posts, addressing my obsession with the character he portrays, the sushi restaurant owner Hwang Yang-jung. And I know many people are obsessed with him too. But no one is speaking up. Which is silly. And tbh I really thought there would be more gifs of him and other men but...there's close to none? Can we talk about how fine this man is? How fine this whole ahjussi crew is? Can we... can we just acknowledge they sliced us all in tiniest pieces possible and burned us all till we turned into charcoal? Can we make a mess of kdrama side of tumblr by excessively posting about them? Pretty please?

It's true, I came for the boys, but stayed for these men. I'm not even joking when I say kdrama has me in a chokehold again, but this time for a whole new reason. Dropping everything just to watch series and movies these guys took part in sounds like the best idea at the moment. I even forgot about the new releases I started watching, which makes me laugh at myself, but... it is what it is. At some point, a girl just has to obsess over her favourite ahjussi, and that's okay.

[mackeydoodledoo]

Chapter 4: Life in District 7

Pairing: Lamina x (Fem!Mentor)Reader

Summary: You began living life in 7 after Lamina finds you. The both of you continuing on growing, a continue developing feelings for one another. However, Lamina continues to deal with her PTSD from the Hunger Games...

Warnings: Social Anxiety, Swearing, New Life adjustment

Key: Italics = Thoughts, +*+ = Time Skip, Bold/Italics = Flashback

Theme: True Colors - Justin Timberlake/Anna Kendrick

A/n: None

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

*Y/n's POV* You walk back into the house to search for Lamina.

"What do you want?" She asks

"I was just... Letting you know that your father and I are heading down to the market," You say, "And... I nearly forgot that my mother packed me some baked goods before I left. Mostly baked them for you of course..."

Lamina doesn't answer as she coddles her brother. You awkwardly leave them on her nightstand and briskly walk out of her room.

*Lamina's POV* When you hear the front door close, you out your brother back into his crib for a nap. Walking back into your room, you walk up to the settled basket on your nightstand. You move the cloth covering the baked goods and reach for one... Slowly bringing it to your mouth, savoring its taste...

"Also, how did you get these done so fast?" You ask, biting into a treat

"Well, when your mother is pretty much a culinary artist, and her only daughter is in the infirmary, she stress bakes," She answers, "Hence, why I have so much food right now."

"So you're an only child?" You ask, highlighting Y/n's only-child status

She nods, "Father died when I was a little kid, and mother never remarried. So, when you told you had a younger brother, I got a little jealous."

"You? A capitol citizen jealous of a girl from the district?" You chuckle

"Yeah," You say, straight faced, "I've always wanted to know what it felt like to have at least one other sibling. But, guess I'll never know."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have assumed that you basically could have everything you wanted," You say, tucking hair behind your ear

"It's okay," She says, "We're from opposite upbringings. Technically, I could have everything I wanted. But, I chose to go at it my own way."

"Not really when you're spilling personal information like this," You say, "My mother died giving birth to my little brother. We're kinda alike in a way."

"If... If it were up to me, I would switch places with you; you mentoring me, and I'd be the one going into the arena," She confesses

"You'd die?" You ask

She nods.

"Well, maybe in another life we would meet under different circumstances," You say

You think back to that specific night and sigh...

I've missed her ma's baking...

*Y/n's POV* Lamina's father brings you into the market. You weren't sure what you were expecting other than lumber sales, but you were taken aback with all types of lumber that was around.

"So you all don't just cut down trees huh?" You ask

"Of course not," Lamina's father explains, "Of course, that is our main schtick. But, we managed to find little hobbies to utilize some creative skill in our district."

As you gaze around, you see people carving utensils, figurines... Even instruments...

You were amazed.

"Set it up here kid," He gestures to an empty table

You set his stuff down as you see eyes set upon you form everywhere...

"Don't mind them," He tells you, "Once you're here for about a year, they'll stop seein' you funny."

"Hope so..." You sigh, "So, how does this go?"

"Watch and learn," He says

You watch as a couple comes walking up to the table. However, began to look at you oddly.

"She's my apprentice," Lamina's father averts their unpleasant gaze

He goes onto explaining the products you and him had brought.

+*+

You return with Lamina's father after a day in the market.

"I'm assuming that you don't have a place to stay?" He asks

"No I don't sir," You say

"We have a spare room, you're more than welcome to stay with us for as long as you need," He says

"You're too kind," You chuckle

You follow him to the spare room, which you happened to pass by Lamina's room; she sits in her bed, reading a book of sorts.

She's kinda cute when she reads...

Your eyes drift to her nightstand... Basket open... You couldn't tell how much she had consumed.

"What do you want?" She asks

"Nothing," You say, quickly making your way into the spare room

You take in the surroundings; way smaller than what you were used to back living with your mother. But, you weren't going to complain.

You settle yourself into the small room...

+*+

Screaming...

Your legs burst out into a run and you nearly slide past Lamina's doorway, but caught yourself on the doorframe.

"Hey hey what's wrong?!" You ask, panting

"N-nothing, I'm fine," Lamina attempts to compose herself

"You're clearly not fine," You say

*Lamina's POV* You viciously wipe away your tears.

"I'm fine Y/n, now get out!" You say, pinching the bridge of your nose, trying to hide your tears

You let out a sigh and turn your back towards Y/n, slowly drifting off to sleep...

+*+

You wake up to the birds chirping outside. As you sit up in bed, you look over to the door and see Y/n, knees pressed against her chest, using her arm as a pillow; sleeping uncomfortably against the wall.

Was she there... All night?...

You were falling even harder... But, you weren't sure how to tell her that...

You get up from your bed and make your way towards Y/n. You gently shake her, and her eyes flutter open.

"Come on," You whisper

She begrudgingly stands but almost collapses from the pain in her back and legs. You keep her upright as you begin to motion towards your bed.

"I.. I thought you were going to take me back to bed, in the spare..." She yawns

"Too far..." You say

You gently lay her down along your bed, tucking her in like you would to your brother.

"Thanks for... Staying with me," You say, brushing some loose strands of her hair

"Always," She replies under her breath

You couldn't help but crack a small smile...

"You're so dumb sometimes," You say under your breath

You stand up and make your way out of the room, making your way down to the kitchen.

"Mornin' kiddo," Your pops greets you

You could easily tell that he was already cooking up breakfast.

"Mornin' pops," You greet back, walking up to his side

"You uh... Slept okay?" He asks

"Yeah, why?" You ask

"Well, you would often wake up two to three times a night," He points out

He was right, you normally would. Ever since coming home from the 10th games, you've lost a great amount of sleep.

*Y/n's POV* You walk down the stairs and see Lamina's family at the table.

"Ahh, good morning Y/n," Lamina's father greets you

"Morning," You reply

"You slept okay?" He asks

You nod.

"Lamina finish up, we have to get you ready for the reaping," He tells her

Both you and Lamina drop whatever the both of you held... You nearly forgot about the 11th Hunger Games...

"Uhh..." You break the horrifying silence, "I don't know if you know about this but... Lamina is exempt from any future hunger games."

"Exempt?" He asks

"Basically she has no obligations to put her name into further reapings for the rest of her life," You say, "When the Dean chose us for mentorship, he had us read up on the hunger games rules. And according to the rules, every victor, despite still being of the reaping age; Lamina being sixteen, she does not have to participate

Lamina attempts to stop tears from rolling down her face. Lamina's father gently grasps your hands and gets onto his knees; profusely thanking you for the information.

+*+

Instead of accompanying Lamina's father to the market like the last few months, you accompanied Lamina to the forest.

"What did you bring me out here for?" You ask, "Don't you... Have... Friends... Around here?"

"They're all at the reaping..." She explains

"Oh..." You sigh

Lamina stops and presses her hand on your shoulder and hides the both of you in a hollow stump. The both of you watch a pair of peacekeepers walk by.

"Why are we hiding from them? You don't need to go to the reapings," You whisper

"They probably wouldn't care if I'm a victor," She whispers back, "They'll probably throw me in the reaping anyway."

The both of you slowly crawl out form the makeshift hiding spot and continue your way through the woods.

+*+

The both of you find a part of the forest that you're far enough from the peacekeeper population, but not far enough to be past the border from 7.

You watch as Lamina strgetically finds stable branches, unnoticeable cracks and scales the seemingly smooth tree. She turns and looks down at you.

"Are you coming or what?" She asks

"Y-yeah, hang on," You clear your throat

You attempt to match where her hands grabbed and where she placed her feet. You look up and see her already halfway up the tree.

What the hell?!... Wow...

You watch her pull off to the side somewhere far up the tree. In which you attempt to climb faster.

"How do you make this..." You strain, "Look... So easy?!..."

You let out a yelp as your foot loses its footing. Your hands claw at the bark, attempting to grab at anything. However, you stopped... You look up and see Lamina grasping at your arm. You regain your footing and your other hand grabs at the tree's surface as you carefully catch up to Lamina.

"How do I make tree-climbing look so easy?" She jumps back to your question, "Been climbing trees all my life."

"Yeah... Makes sense," You sigh, trying to let your thrumming heart calm down

When you do, you begin to take in the scenery before you... Mountain ranges for miles... Rivers connecting to lakes here and there... You were able to see everything.

"If only... This were in the Capitol," You sigh

"I didn't think I'd live through the games," Lamina comments, "I... Also never got to thank you..."

You look at her, "For what?"

"Bringing me home," She says, looking back at you, "When they announced me the victor, I was surprised that you lived up to your promise."

"Please, there was only so much I could do behind a computer screen," You chuckle

"Well, your last bit of advice really pushed me through the moment when the tributes from 4 were double-teaming me," Lamina says, "I think it was something like... 'If they try to kill you, kill them first.' Kind od thing... That was what was going through my head when I was fighting them..."

You were surprised on how well Lamina remembered that line... Because it was word-for-word. Even though it came out of your mouth, you didn't remember how you said it....

You felt Lamina's pinky brush against yours. You look down at it, then back up at her.

"Thank you, Y/n," Lamina smiles

"Always," You smile back

Lamina scoots closer to you, enough to rest her head upon your shoulder; the both of you gazing out on the beautiful 7 forestry whilst avoiding the horrific reality of the world you both reside in.

+*+

It was a slow process on adapting to the culture in 7. However, you were surprised on how everyone was being so kind towards you; despite being from the Capitol.

"I bet everyone is beginning to tolerate me is because I got you home," You joke

"It is not that Y/n," Lamina says, "Okay that is one factor, but you don't flaunt your wealth nor do you think lowly of us."

"Well, after I announced to my mother that I was moving, she isn't giving me any ounce of support," You say

"What?!" She asks, "I thought you had a good relationship with your mother."

"Oh, trust me, I do," You say, "I did tell her that I wanted to make a new life. So, any ties I would have with the capitol, other than her, are severed."

*Lamina's POV* "So..." You say, "You're now going to be seen as a lowly person?"

"It's better than being brainwashed into believing what the capitol is doing to the districts are right and filthy rich people should be praised like... These gods... That they were in control over everything, even in the districts." She says

"You said 'they'," You point out

"Y-yeah... I guess I did," She chuckles, "I just... Felt.. So... Out of place there... I.. I... Always felt. Different compared to the traditional capitol families. That, my life wasn't in the capitol. That. It could be... Somewhere out here."

"Well, I'm glad you chose 7," You say

"I thought you weren't happy to see me when I arrived," Y/n chuckles

"I wasn't," You confess, "But, after having you around here for awhile now, I don't think I'd let you go back to the Capitol."

"Then that should be easy for you," She smiles, "I wouldn't want to be anywhere else."

+*+

You wake up with a scream, cold sweat and tears streaming down your face. Y/n rushes over.

"Hey," She yawns, but obviously concerned, "You okay?!.."

You nod, "Just another nightmare..."

You let out a sniffle, wiping your tears.

"Same one?..." She asks, having a good guess of what it is

You nod again.

You watch her sit next to the door, the usual night after night.

"Actually... Will you... Hold me?..." You ask

Her eyes search you for certainty... In which you easily show to her that you were, indeed certain, and watch her get up and make her way to your bed, carefully getting underneath the covers with you. Almost immediately you cling to her; causing her to twitch.

"Is this... Too much?..." You ask, noting how she twitched in your embrace

"No," She says, slowly relaxing her arms, "Not at all."

You immediately settle yourself in her embrace and slowly rest your eyes, listening to her heartbeat .

Chapter 5

[darkdragon768]

alright

Had a class with a new teacher today so we had to introduce ourselves (yet again). Everyone was talking about how much they've already done, like studied, traveled and exercised, despite being younger than me, and their amazing hobbies like sports, hanging with friends, reading books. In the break they were telling funny drunk stories they had with friends and at parties.

And you know how that made me feel? I never had (true) friends because I'm boring as all hell and childish. I don't smoke, I don't drink and I don't do drugs. I don't like famous media like shows/movies or books, famous franchises like hp (ew), star wars/trek, or any sort of anime or manga. All I care about are childish video games. Oh and video games are so bad! So bad for you in every way!

...

I also feel like I can't make friends anymore cuz peeps around my age are just more interested in more mature stuff like relationships, independence- oh yea that's another thing. Everyone is already having their own apartment and is maybe sharing that with their joyfriend too. It feels like everyone is so much more advanced than me... I'm still at my parents house, hiding in my comfort zone, not having any huge responsibilities.

I feel like a 10 year old stuck in the body of a 23 year old who has to act as a neurotypical, stereotypical 30 year old adult, who can act and behave like their age. (Everybody is saying older peeps don't know what's up either but still)

I'm also not happy with my future. I can't see myself as a daycare worker anymore. Yea sure, that one internship year was fun but I didn't have to do all that "behind the scene" tasks, like talk with parents, come up with funny activities or trips, contact helping centers, etc. etc.

I don't know what I want to be. I don't want to have a job solely to have a job and make money to survive. I want to do something where I can use and show my strength and skills, and maybe even be happy and excited to go to work. But to look for something like that I first have to actually know what my true skills are, and what I will enjoy doing for 50 years. I just don't know...

IT? Bio lab assistant? Garbage woman? Living of the little money the state offers for people who can't/won't work (anymore)?

I just don't know anymore...

[normal-looking-male]

Not people making art of Barten Of Ganban!! Hypocrisy out the wazoo, yeah, yeah, but just. Really? The most soulless and effortless """game""" on the market? The one without an ounce of personality or originality?? The one with THOSE designs that wouldn't pass for some YouTube Kids knockoff shit???

Rant incoming.

It's so unfair how these incredibly skilled artists and writers seem to have way more passion and care for these miserable """characters""" than the developers of the game. It's nothing new that 70% of the actual story and characters is carried by fandom in an indie project. We've seen it with Nive Fights Fat Reddy's, Nello Heighbour, Pendy, and now Bobby Blaytime especially. Fainbow Rriends from way back when already felt like one of the lazier examples of that kind of bait. But this... This is irrationally upsetting.

It's genuinely touching how fandoms can form around the things you least expect. Just talking about something, analysing it, sharing it with others is a precious experience, it is a form of art. But all of it feels so thoroughly wasted on things like this, where maybe two or three people behind the original project had any love for it, and the community survives on just those crumbs of love for it, doing most of the legwork. Fans end up making so much good, amazing stuff even, with so much heart and character in it, they may as well just take full ownership of the media, because they clearly care more about it than the actual people behind it.

But the reason they could make it was because they were offered this barebones foundation. One with just enough shits given for the gears to turn in people's brains, and get them to pump out storytelling and content for the developers. I struggle to find an example outside of gaming, but Uneven Stiverse reads to me like a similar situation as well, where the community literally made up several "AU's" with far better stories and themes than the showrunner halfway in, while the breadcrumbs of "lore" they were tossed to theorise about were quickly and hastily finished after skimming some quirkier fan-theories.

Projects like this just have no worth without the people that care. Obviously, if nobody is there for any story, nobody will know about that story, but a good... Thing. Just thing. Movie, book, podcast, show, game, legend, that thing can stand on its own, if it has something to say, if it has a heart, if it's used as a vessel to speak by the person who made it, and who genuinely cares about it as something more than just a quick cashgrab, using an impressionable and exciteable fanbase, ravenous for more content.

Barten Of Ganban is worthless. It does not deserve any positive or negative attention. There is no care or love put into it. It has nothing to bring to this world. I sincerely hope it's forgotten by the people that were unfortunate enough to give a damn about it, and that they can find better ways to pour their creative hearts out.

Side Note: I feel like people attribute all the "bad" parts of a fandom to just the younger fans getting too excited and therefore "cringe", but sometimes we need to stop and take a hard look at the media we so furiously want to "protect" from children. See if it's actually geared towards general audiences, or just kids. I don't think it's a bad thing that kids like horror or cute'ify it. Horror is just a genre, some people like it, some don't. Coraline is very much a horror movie made for kids, and I'm happy for everyone that fell in love with it, and everyone that figured out the genre wasn't for them, and everyone that tried to adjust it to cater more to their preferences in media. Even if those preferneces are far away from horror, and lean more towards. I dunno, romance and comedy.

Hell, teens and adults can engage with spooks in a similar way, too. People should be able to have fun, and engage with the things they like without being mocked and bullied for it. But I do wish they got to engage more with projects that actually have some heart behind them. Otherwise it's just another forgettable piece of content, that attracts the attention of the least "weathered" demographic online. A demographic that's easy to exploit, making merch for parents to waste their money on, spinning mysteries upon mysteries and vague shit upon vague shit to keep people talking about it. And just because some adults also fell for it doesn't mean it was ever geared towards them.

[starstofillmydream]

How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!

Thank you so much for the tag DJ @dystopicjumpsuit 🥹 I love, love, love reading your works so much! You're so talented and bring such light to the fandom. (I'm super behind on my reblogs and comments because of school, so now that I'm graduating this weekend, I'll have the time to go through my drafts and give them the appreciation they deserve! Apologies for that 😅)

Every new release of The Bad Batch on Wednesdays was the highlight of my week. For S2 and S3 in particular, I had a routine: I went to my 9:00 a.m. class, glanced at the clock every so often because time wasn't passing fast enough, ran to my car parked in my college's parking garage after class, and watched the newest episode in my car. In the privacy of my car, I could be vocal about my reactions to certain scenes (lots of "what the fucks" because there were always surprises 😂) and get excited about the plot/action. TBB made me so excited to be a part of a fandom that was as enthusiastic about the clones as me—I'm the eldest daughter in my house with two younger brothers, only one of which who likes Star Wars, but he's not the person to go to if I wanted to gush about the clones 😅

One of the reasons why I latched onto the clones so much when I first watched TCW back in 2022 was their humanity. They didn't have any special powers like the Jedi or the Sith that were unattainable—although they are highly trained soldiers with skills superior to those of regular human beings, they are just like any one of us. Their humanity matches ours. They all interact with the world uniquely, process emotions uniquely, develop their personalities uniquely, and have an admirably strong sense of camaraderie with one another. Seeing them grow as the full human beings they are from TCW S1 to TBB S3 has been an amazing journey, and I'm so proud of them. How can you not be?

The creation of Clone Force 99 extrapolated upon Dave Filoni's original vision for the clones in TCW: In Revenge of the Sith, we only know the clones has people with the same face who coldly killed the Jedi without question. As members of Star Wars' audience, they made enemies with us because they killed the heroes. In TCW, we understand more that they were truly cogs in a machine, victims of circumstance. They tried so hard to distinguish themselves as individuals, and being a soldier made them feel fulfilled (for the most part...an exception would be Cut Lawquane 😅). From the regular clones' individuality established in TCW, TBB further deviated from the regular clones' template and showed us all that it's good to be different and that, despite physical differences, the clones are all brothers at heart and have a strong moral compass embedded in the essence of their characters. They just want to do the right thing, and I think that's why fans are so attached to them. You can't always find that exemplary of a man in real life! 😂

Being able to recognize, analyze, and enjoy these nuances in both TCW and TBB has given me the privilege of making so many friends on this site! I love to come on here and see what my friends are saying about the clones, and the conversations being had about Star Wars media are so interesting and engaging. Plus, everyone is so wickedly talented, from the writing to the fanart and everything in between. I'm so grateful for the community I've been able to share with everyone. Thank you all so much for a wonderful experience and wonderful friendship, and I can't wait to see what's in store in the future of the clones' stories!

I'll tag some people who've made my experience particularly amazing and enjoyable, and that I interact with in some capacity almost daily. Love you guys! 🥰

@wings-and-beskar @enigmaticexplorer @rexxdjarin @ulchabhangorm @starqueensthings @sleepingsun501 @baba-fett @thebomb-diggity

And a special thanks to @meme-force-99 ! Your posts make me smile so much and your entire writing team is incredible!

Before TBB Ends...Regardless of HOW it Ends...I've Got to Say Something...

In 2021, TBB was released, and over the last few years, it's grown to mean a lot to me. Not just the stories, the storytelling, the characters whom we've fallen in love with and hope to see more of someday, whose stories we've learned important lessons from, but how it profoundly affected my life.

And it is something I am incredibly grateful for.

Regardless of how the show ends, if it's something I'm going to love or be totally heartbroken over and hate, I'm so glad it happened and went on this journey.

For one, it gave me the plug to start writing. Writing was always a dream of mine but it wasn't until I discovered fanfiction, because of TBB, that I actually realized it. I had this idea of writing and thought I'd never really be able to accomplish that. The show enabled me to move past that and I've been able to be enflamed by my love for writing. It brings me so much happiness. No other show pushed me to write like this one.

Secondly, my writing has allowed me to touch and interact with people. I can't tell you how much it means to me and how thrilled I am to hear and learn my work has touched you in some way. I'm humbled by your words and taking the time to actually read and appreciate what I've written.

Thirdly, I've gone on so many adventures, crazy amazing adventures because of what other brilliant minds I met through the show have written. There are SO many great stories that just hit me so.....I was touched by your stories that you wouldn't have written if you hadn't watched the show!

Lastly, but CERTAINLY not the least, I have made SO many friends and writing buddies because of this show. It has connected me to so many cool people that I otherwise may never have found. I've grown really close with some of you, while others, though we may not be friends per say, I hope we can someday. In the meantime, I will admire your work from here. You guys mean so much to me and I can't even begin to express how wonderful it's been getting to know you over the past few years. The fun experiences we've shared, the theories, the stories, all of it. I am not putting this as well as it was in my head so please forgive that.

This includes but isn't limited to: @eclec-tech @photogirl894 @apocalyp-tech-a @lizartgurl @jedipoodoo @arctrooper69 @carolinetano7567 @trapezequeen @ghostofskywalker @masterjedilenaaa @ladysongmaster @moonstrider9904 @klmwrites @techs-stitches @ovaa-bi-bia @frostycatblr-fandom-files @imabeautifulbutterfly @sverdgeir @oceansssblue @marvel-starwarsfangirl @jedi-hawkins

How about you? What are you guys grateful for? Reblog and share what TBB meant to you!

Copy and paste the red as your header and let's see how many people we can get so share their stories!

I will end with no other quote than this!

"With love comes loss; it's part of the deal. Sometimes it hurts, but in the end, it's all worth it. There's no greater gift than love."

[anicequietplace]

.

[lutawolf]

Between Us Episode 4 Commentary and Review

For those that haven't read my other reviews. They can be found here. It's right underneath the UWMA reviews. In previous posts, I talk about how Win is possessive but not jealous. There is a difference, and I explain that here. Let me say that for those who are new to me. I am a kinkster, and I write from a kinkster perspective. This is, of course, artwork so it can be viewed differently by other people. However, I will say that kinksters don't hold some of the negative connotations that most view in vanilla relationships. So yes, my perspective tends to be vastly different.

Let's begin! I'm super excited while also nervous. WinTeam have amazing communication skills except for when they don't. I love this brother dynamic so much.

Honestly, this is exactly how my siblings and I act. Grown up? What the fuck is that when a sibling is around?! Well apparently, Win. 🤣🤣🤣 Gamer Bro gives me only child vibes more than the oldest. Win is more like the oldest. Ahh, there is the big brother coming out. It's in there just well hidden.

Is anybody else thinking about a certain Daddy scene? No, just me? 👀

T-Rex, if you haven't figured it out yet, you are an idiot. There has got to be something behind those fierce eyebrows. Apparently not. Congratulations, you've won the white crayon award. As in, he is not the brightest crayon in the box.

Awww, baby bro. You can be anything you want cause Win will make sure of it. They are cute, but damn is sunshine happy. Damn your younger brother knows more about love than you. You might know sex buddy, but you don't know intimacy. Listen to tiny bro. HAHAHA! Okay, sunshine is perceptive. I love it! And omg, the acting!! The way Win suddenly looks like he has been gobsmacked.

The alphabet gang. Um, was he expecting him to come? I thought we all knew he wouldn't. Oh, but he did come, and you guys owe your buddy an apology. There are so many side couples, though. Damn.

A locker full of drinks. That's more romantic than most guys actually get. I like it. Then, back to the group project. Bee is like bitches get out. Bee got one thing on his mind and it's a certain Prince. His crush is so obviouse.

Back to Team. Then to Win. Then back to Team. I'm getting whiplash, guys. Oh no, nightmares again. Win you might be upset now, but not for long. Sure enough, not for long.

Tell us how you really feel Win. They already have sides of the bed. I love it. Ugh, I'm gutted. Look at that gentle touch and the arms open. He's asking. It's completely up to Team, but he's asking because he know Team needs it but won't ask. The soft smiles from them both. One is looking forward to holding the other, and the other is looking forward to finally having a good night's sleep. They both found comfort in each other. For different reasons, but they've found it.

Win like, I'll be your wife, husband, and daddy, but I'll be damned if I'm your mom. FYI, for an amazing read about why the intimate verbiage from Team to Win is so important, check out @notfreetoday and @ellaspore posts. Both can be found on the Coconuts Mafia side blog.

Look how soft Win is when he is with his brothers and Team. Not just anyone gets this side of him. Not even his close friends. That should tell you that Win has long since chosen Team even if he himself hadn't completely realized it. Team is me after a night of drinking. Crawl on the floor and totally excited about food. Now notice that Team brings up his mom and Pharm cooking for him, and that smile never leaves Win's face. Jealousy is not there.

Win is doing everything he can to extend the time he has with Team. That smile never left his face because the time he does have with him is precious to him. Team is just as into the time they have together. Look at him talking about a movie tonight. He himself extended their time.

Win is having to work hard to get Team on the back of that bike. Team isn't an adrenaline junkie; he knows too much the consequences of that. He likes steady and steadfast. He craves security. Hai used the magic words, though. He said, "Trust me and come on." See how easily Team gives in. He is a brat through and through. He isn't happy about it, but he respects his Dom so fine. "Please drive slow, though."

Win won because he got those arms securely wrapped around him. OMG, I love the casual touches. The arm over the shoulder. The natural intimacy. The way Team says Hia and gently pulls on the back of his shirt. I know that a lot of people are thinking of this as whining, but please note that a lot of Doms like to be addressed. That's what you do when you put the name or title first. It's hard to explain. Think of it as a letter, how you address a letter. To whom it may concern or the name. It's addressing, showing respect before just going into dialogue. Now, from my understanding of some kinksters on here, that is not as prevalent everywhere as it is where I am from. I do feel that is actually what Team is doing here with Win, though. A reminder of, yes, I recognize that you and I have a more intimate tie than most.

Yes, Win he digested all his breakfast. A lot of energy was put into holding onto you on that bike. Ahhhh, look at that naturalness again. Team just grabs Win's hand without issue, and Win naturally lets him.

Team is such a foodie. Don't stop him Win, for a foodie like Win it's an act of love. HAHA, you are all equal, huh? Team, you're an idiot. Why would Win care about how girls think of him. Win sets him straight, though, letting him know it doesn't matter what girls think of him. Yesssssss, and he fed him the shrimp. Look how happy Team is. Sharing food with a foodie is the ultimate act of love. Guys, I'm telling you. Food is its own love language. It engages the senses and creates a connection. When words are hard to use, it's an easy way to express oneself.

"I thought you wanted to go grocery shopping. Why aren't you buying anything." 🤣🤣🤣 He just wanted time with you, Team.

Looks are subjective girls!!! Please stop knocking yourself down. Yes, Phreuk, come cheer. Oh, look at that gentle hand to Menow's back. Ahhhh, so cute. I love all the little detailed touches!!!! I adore Phreuk. They are cute. I'm dying. That was smooth, dude. Don't even ask, just tell. Wait, who was arguing with me that Phreuk doesn't have it in him to be Dom???? Did you see that move. I am cackling. So cute!

Here comes the possessiveness. Win isn't jealous of who Team is on the phone with. He is possessive of their time together. This is his time. Then he sees that Team is looking up movies, and they are back on track. I'm dying over the product placement of Iqiyi while I'm watching iqiyi.

I love Win's "The audacity of this Bitch" face. 🤣🤣🤣 Even I'm laughing at you Win. Yeah, you are still cool but maybe not right now.

Team is totally taking advantage of this, and I love him for it. Team is having fun, but you can tell he cares for Win. He changes the channel and easily agrees to keep it to himself. Then Win flashes back to talking to his little brother, and we get this beautiful sequence of love and adoration.

Thank you, Ray of Sunshine! Again, with the casual touches and shared joy.

Ha! Win got Team back on the bike. Win wants to know if Team is used to the bike yet. Team brings up girls again, and Win is not understanding. See you guys, Team IS jealous. He is not secure in the knowledge that Win is his. Now, he could recognize this as a negative emotion and push those feelings down. The healthiest thing to do, though, is exactly what he is doing. Bringing them out into the open to be addressed. He isn't starting a fight, and he isn't accusing Win of anything. He is telling him what everyone says. Win says, "How can he help what other people think?" This isn't an unhealthy conversation. It's a healthy one because emotions are not getting bottled up.

T-Rex, are you trying to die.

Conversations goes right back to where it was with a lot of misunderstandings cleared up. See, intense but not unhealthy. They both walked away from that conversation happy.

The sub trio!!! Each of them teasing why having their own secrets. Run Pharm Run!

Dom trio!!! Look at you calling people out, Win. HAHAHAHA! Love Deans response. Oh, you wanna bring someone extra. 🤣🤣🤣 I love the fact that all of them went for kids from the same friend group!

Ohhh, they got questions about Team. Back off, you can't stop Win. Good, you told him you trust him. I really like that despite Dean being Win's bestie, he is a good guy. He cares about doing the right thing and being a good person. He isn't gonna just side with Win because he is his friend.

"That's how our relationship started." "You started that way but how are you going to end?" "I don't know, but whatever we have right now it is already good." Ugh, how is Team gonna take that. He doesn't look so happy. He missed win saying it wasn't just about the sex and basically admitting he is head over heels.

When in doubt, head to your bestie. Ahh, what is love question. Team says that everything Pharm is describing can be attributed to friendships as well. Including theirs. Pharms says yes, but there are no feelings of possessiveness. 👀👀👀 Oh gee, who could have said something similar. 👀👀👀 hmmmmm. "Because you want to possess him." 👀👀👀

That face of Win's. Dead. But notice how Win waits until he is acknowledged. He doesn't but in to interrupt Teams time with Pharm. He can tell they are having a conversation. When he is acknowledged, he moves towards team, telling him, "Let's go home." Team agreeing but not moving fast enough so Win grabs him by the hand to take him away. I'm sure there will be some of you that think this is jealousy and you are wrong. It's possessiveness. Notice how Win tells Pharm that Dean will be out in a few minutes and how Pharm is smiling because he knows that this is Win being possessive. Win knows Pharm is Dean's. It's just that now it's his time with Team, and he is possessive of his alone time. Remember, Win isn't used to having something that is ALL his. And he doesn't desire to keep Team all to himself but be damned if he doesn't savor those moments when he does get him all to himself.

Win is gone. Gone.

We know why you like the bike Win. You ain't fooling, nobody.

OMG, this was such a good episode. And the side story!! So cute!!! I don't care that it was a promotion. It was adorable. Hope you guys enjoyed it as well 💜💜💜 As always, this is dedicated to my amazing followers and the Coconuts Mafia.

[blazingmoltres]

Yeah!! It’s mainly in pokemas that we really see his love of teaching younger trainers and seeing the younger generations grow. Like, there’s so many moments where Blue seems to be proud of the younger generation, wanting to see them get stronger as he passes on his knowledge and lessons.

(Putting under a read more incase you don’t wanna read the quotes and my probably nonsensical rambling Lol)

Random conversation (Sygna Suit)

"You're another Trainer I'm focused on beating, <player>. Just like Red."

"I admit, I consider you a rival."

"It's a little scary to watch you get stronger and stronger, but it's also kind of exciting."

"More strong Trainers means more worthwhile battles—which is a plus, of course—but there's more to it than that."

"Maybe I'm just happy to watch you grow and mature as a person, too."

"I managed to find a new goal here, too."

"Y'know how we've met a lot of up-and-coming Trainers here on Pasio who all admire us?"

"I feel like it might be our duty to watch over them."

"Don't get me wrong, though. I'm still gonna get way stronger, too!"

Friendship story 1:

"C'mon, <player>! Don't tell me you're tired already!"

"You can't be the best if that's the best you can do!"

"Though...I gotta admit, it IS impressive that you finished this amount of practice."

"I always knew you had potential!"

"After all, you're the only one going through this much of my training!"

"Even my Trainers back at Viridian Gym couldn't handle this much, so you should be proud of yourself!"

(Praise him for being a good teacher.): "Heh. Of course I'm awesome!"

(Grin proudly.): "Hey, shouldn't you be thanking me?"

"Well... I say that, but I'm still learning how to be a better mentor."

"At the very least, I know I'm better at this stuff than Red is! He'd be too quiet!"

"That's why I'm glad you came to me, anyway!"

"Just you wait and see–I'm gonna beat Red someday. I've never given up on that."

"But y'know what?"

"If I teach a Trainer everything I know, and they end up beating Red..."

"I think I'd still be happy about that–almost as if I had done it myself!"

"I've started feeling that way as I watched how much you've grown here on Pasio

"Which is why... Uh..."

"I know I'm tough on you, but I hope you keep coming back to me for your training!"

"As rivals, let's see who can take down Red first!"

Friendship Story 2:

"Y'know, it's really amazing that you did so well in a battle against Red."

"But don't get too comfortable, or you'll start to fall behind."

"Trust me...I speak from experience."

"Remember, there's always something you can improve to get even stronger. That's really important."

"Honestly, though, I really am glad that you put up a good fight against Red."

"The fact that you battled toe-to-toe with him isn't just because I'm your mentor. That was all you!"

"You can't just take what you've been taught at face value. It's also important to find a way to use it that works for you!"

"So be proud of yourself! That's a mentality all the strongest Trainers have!"

(Blue lines like this make me sob loudly)

I can’t really see Blue as a professor, As he doesn’t seem to express an interest in things like pokemon biology, Blue’s a people person me thinks. One of the few lines I’ve seen him talk about the Pokemon Professor career is-

Chat After Completing Friendship Story 1:

"Gramps has a lot of experience teaching..."

"In fact, I hear he was a decent Trainer himself back in the day! I should ask him for a few pointers."

"Pokémon Professors are good at explaining stuff, so that's definitely a skill worth learning!"

He focuses on wanting to learn training  tis from Prof. Oak and learning the explaining skills that Professors have. So it just furthers my feeling that Blue would prefer something battle oriented to teach younger trainers battle skills. Most of his other quotes don’t include anything about pokemon research from what I know of. Even in the mainline games it seems like Blue was only completing the Dex to one up Red, atleast that’s how I saw it.

(I’m not saying Blue hates pokemon research, its just never seemed like a priority for him)

(I’m actually adding this after I wrote this whole thing, I finally figured out where the quote I was thinking of in my previous tags, Pokemon Evolutions: The Challanger.

Agatha: Since you’re the grandson of that old coot, I thought you’d be completing the Pokedex.

Blue: Don’t you compare me with that Old Man!

So my point still stands that I feel Blue would stray from a research oriented role, +Blue didn’t even complete the Pokedex and didn’t even seem to want to.)

Elite 4 Blue is a really good HC I haven’t considered before seeing your post, I think a lot of trainers look up to the Elite 4 if I’m not mistaken. So I think it would be a good fit. I personally also like Teacher Blue, but I will be rotating Elite 4 Blue in my brain.

Anyways, About Professor Red, While its probably more headcannon rather then based on anything, I just feel fits with his personality. It allows him to explore and catch more pokemon, two things that are part of the core values of the pokemon games, so I assume as a protagonist, he’d enjoy that. +being a professor doesn’t mean he has to give up battling. It’s just his main goal becomes learning more about Pokemon. Idk, I just think he’s an absolute nerd who loves pokemon.

Though, personally- I actually don’t think Red would be a good mentor. The Neo-champion event felt very situational as Red’s main thing was teaching them how to have fun in battles, even with a loss, I feel like his mentoring style would be limited (You can’t just beat up kids to solve every problem). And now that Blue learned what he did wrong, I think he’d be a more rounded mentor.

(Tbh I have my own gripes with NeoChamp Event but not gonna say anything)

Uhm yeah, if you read this- hopefully my rambling wasn't too nonsensical and just uhhh

I believe in Elite 4 Blue and Professor Red supremacy.

YES we see blue as a great teacher during that one event in pokemas but he teaches A LOT about battling and how its okay to lose and all of that, and in pokespe his title is trainer and hes very skilled at making them ready for battles so he’d be much better at. that

literally red is a huge nerd when it comes to pokemon, and we know that from pokemas hes an insanely good teacher, ending up with his trainers winning (i think?) well rounded trainers, and in pokespe hes seen to be very interested in filling out the pokedex for the sake of learning about them (again i think)

im very guilty of combining all of the verses tbh…

also idk how to tag the user so i hope this post finds them

[magicsunwheel]

Why You're F#cking Amazing

Pick-a-Card

How to play: pick one of the photos below using your intuition. You can close your eyes and meditate for a bit or just take a few grounding breaths while thinking of the topic. Feeling drawn to more than one is fine! You might have messages in more than one pile

Pile 1 (x) Pile 2 (x) Pile 3 (x)

My pile numbers always go from left to right, then down to the text row (if applicable)

Pile 1

Cards: The High Priestess, Five of Swords, Seven of Pentacles, The Moon Rx, Five of Rods, Ace of Pentacles

You are so intuitive! You're either very in touch with your divine feminine or are working your way there right now. Something about you is severe in the most beautiful way. You can take things seriously when they need to and the way you command a room with just your presence is unmatched. Maybe you're also a tarot reader or involved in spirituality/divination in some way. Maybe you really like Pick-a-Cards.

Something beautiful about you is that you never give up on a fight, especially when you know the end is worth it. Your ambition is strong and you will fight for what you love and what you want. You are not weak-willed by any means.

This also makes you so unique! You work so hard and put so much labor into your love even if you know it will take a long time to come to fruition. The times that you feel discouraged by a lack of results are few and far between. If for some reason you do find yourself wistfully hoping for faster results or an easier path, you can easily remind yourself of why you started in the first place.

You might have moments where you think of yourself as sneaky or like you're hiding a part of yourself from others, like your true self would be too much for them. I'm here to tell you that your intensity is exactly what make you such a beautiful person! You thrive in competition and in adversity. It gives you a chance to show off your quick thinking and survival skills. Others look at you with envy of how you can make an opportunity out of seemingly nothing!

If you need help improving your self-love, Spirit says to stop comparing yourself to others! You are amazing and beautiful and unique all on your own! Throwing yourself into the fray to compete against others who are nothing like you will only fim your inner shine. And you really do shine! When I asked for a card about why you are beautiful, nearly half the damn deck flew out!

Sprit loves you and I love you so please take care of yourself and keep making those amazing opportunities to improve your physical surroundings. (I feel like you have a very clean room/home)

Pile 2

Cards: Nine of Rods, the World, King of Cups, Three of Rods, Ace of Rods, Two of Cups

Ahh the Loona pile!

Similar to Pile 1, but much more fiery! You are resilient! Taking time to collect yourself before pushing forward with a renewed sense of energy and purpose is such an amazing and useful trait. You maybe aren't as commanding of a presence but you have such an inner strength that no one can deny.

You got the World for the reason why you're beautiful! Maybe it's related to physically being very beautiful and possibly exotic-looking. You might have very specific features associated with a certain area of the world that stand out where you live. You also have such a wonderful understanding of the world and where it's currently at. Things can seem negative or like hope is lost but you still seek out the beauty and share it with others. You see opportunity where others do not and feel a sense of peace and connectedness with all of humanity. Wow!

Your uniqueness shines in your emotionality and compassion. You might be a natural born leader who makes sure to understand all under your rule. You lead with kindness and, most importantly, by example. You don't have any desire to use you position for ill-gotten gains. Power to you does not corrupt, it solely provides a tool for you to do good in the world and really make a difference in the lives of others, whether it's on a large or small scale. You are probably the kind of person who makes sure to give money to those who need it when you pass a begging mother and her children, or buying a homeless man a bottle of water on a hot day.

Your card for why you think you are not perfect actually came out quite positive. Maybe you don't have a very low self esteem, but I can see a few possible scenarios here. You might be constantly planning in your head, waiting and watching for the next move to take but never actually getting to the action part. Maybe you're planning for your future and have so much planned out that you're excited for, but haven't made the practical plans on how to actually get there. This could make you feel bad about yourself especially on days where you're reminded of others moving ahead in their lives while you're still planning. Visualisation is very important in manifesting your desired reality! If you are moving slower than others around you, remember that it is okay to not be where "everyone else" is. Life is not a race or a competition. Taking your time to get to where you need to be when you need to be there reminds me of the story of the tortoise and the hare. Quick does not necessarily mean better.

You can improve your self-love by creating! Using your creativity and passion to make something! Create art, whether it's physical/digital art, music, writing, inventing, anything that uses those creative muscles of yours. It doesn't have to be good! Just creating something will help burn up that excess energy you have that's trying to rush you somewhere. Self-expression this way can be a wonderful hobby even if you don't consider yourself as a creative person.

Your kindness really shines through. You care so deeply about the people around you and your spiritual team cares just as deeply about you. You are loved and watched over and protected by Spirit. Others around you also see your sparkle and appreciate and admire you, even if they don't show it. Know you are beautiful and amazing and bringing a light into this world that needs to be here.

Pile 3

Cards: Six of Rods, the Hierophant, Four of Rods, Six of Cups, Ten of Swords, the Hermit Rx

Damn, who are y'all!? You've got some mighty power and pull in this world. Maybe you're a public figure or have some kind of platform, like a social media with many followers. You could also be well-recognized within your field of study/work. Whoever you are, people see you and look up to you. They celebrate you and how amazing you are! Spirit loves this about you and you really shine in the spotlight. Your achievements deserve all this pomp and celebration!

You are naturally authoritative. People listen when you speak and take your words to heart. You might also be a religious person or someone who enjoys organization and the comfort of hierarchy. People will willingly follow you wherever you lead them because they trust you with all their hearts. "A merciful ruler" (lol) You hold your position with grace and dignity befitting a king or queen.

You are unique in ways the public recognizes, but we knew that already! You might be someone who likes to entertain and you throw the greatest parties and get-togethers. Maybe you've planned a wedding and everyone had such an amazing time! You know how to relax and have fun when the time for celebrating arrives. You can out down your guard and bit and let loose. Not many people with such responsibility can let go of the reigns like that, but you don't seem to hold on to control too tightly.

Your past might be a source of anxiety for you. Maybe you're worried that what you've done when you were younger will catch up to you and ruin what you've got going on now, but it's important to remember that the past is the past. It cannot be undone or wished away. Taking time to accept what happened and recognizing that you've moved on to bigger and better things is important here. Whatever happened, take time to heal your childhood wounds and forgive past actions.

Ending this cycle will bring much more self-love to your life. Old habits and patterns being out to rest is the way forward. It might be a painful ending and something you don't necessarily look forward to, but it is something that needs to happen to clear out old energy and welcome in everything new. You can't expect to move on if you're still repeating old actions or ways of thinking. It's time to set these things to rest and evolve. Leave behind what no longer serves you.

Your understanding of yourself knows no bounds. You've taken the time to inquisit yourself and learn all of the shadows that lie there. Self-reflection might be a favored pastime for you. Through this knowledge of yourself you are able to see truths that many struggle to see all their lives. Your light can cut through the fog if bullshit and see the true source of something. Use this knowledge of yourself to become the best version of yourself that you can be! I know you're already on your way there and it's amazing to see! Spirit is so proud of you and loves you so much!

[sapnapsimper420]

SBI Sibling Headcanons

❥︎ genre // fluff

❥︎ main character(s) // Phil, Wilbur, Techno, Tommy, Tubbo, Ranboo

❥︎ warnings // n/a

❥︎ reader pronouns // they/them

Phil

You're his younger sibling

And you once got introduced to his stream LONG ago

Since then you've been aunt/uncle/etc to the chat

Once went live from his computer and met the rest of SBI

Absolute chaos, he compares you to Wilbur a lot

And tbf you and Wilbur get along GREAT

You and Tommy and Techno also get along well

Phil will occasionally bring up a childhood story involving you on stream or in a video and immediately gets a call from you, telling a story about him as revenge

You and Kristin team up against him often

"Wow Phil if only you had listened to Kristin's idea of not having taco bell for dinner, what a shame you're feeling ill right now"

Wilbur

You appear one time in the background of his stream accidentally and his entire chat jumped on it

So he has you appear again when he next streams and is like "yeah this is Y/N, we're not dating, they're my sibling. Stop being weird"

Protective of you but not OVERLY protective

However when people started sending you hate through Instagram or Twitter he lost it

Just going off on stream like "hey don't do this <3"

Has definitely taught you guitar and just been the most patient teacher

Brags about you on stream if you allow it

"Y/N is learning guitar and they're amazing at it and I'm so proud of them"

Techno

Nobody knows you're siblings except for SBI

You two started streaming/making videos around the same time because you were like "hey if you're nervous I'll do it too!"

"No, chat, I don't know anything about this Y/N person. Are they a potato farmer?"

Both of you find great humour in pretending you don't know the other

And then the shipping starts and you both reveal that you're siblings to stop that train in its tracks

After that things stay the same aside from more nosy people in both of your channels

Tommy

Tommy has grown more allowing of his family being involved in his channel, but he's still hesitant about you appearing during stream

That didn't stop you of course

You just open his door one day with food in hand and conk him on the back of the head for forgetting to eat before he started streaming

"I'm doing lore!" "Lore can wait!"

Chat immediately adores the dynamic

And from that point Tommy is okay with you appearing every so often

Even does a stream about teaching you how to play Minecraft, which a few other streamers drop in on just to tease you (jokingly) about your lack of skill

Tubbo

You help Tubbo behind the scenes often

"Yeah chat my sibling Y/N helped me with this setup! Doesn't it look cool?!"

He's always dragging you into his chaos from the background until one day you launch a pillow at him during a stream and that's how you get fully introduced

"Y/N killed me." "You deserved it!"

Fans call you, Lani, and Tubbo the Bee-o, or Bee Trio

You aren't in streams or videos often but you're there enough that the fans know you

Ranboo

Ranboo is adamant about being secretive about his personal life

He starts streaming and you follow in his footsteps, gaining your fame by yourself

Ranboo mentions you once, once, and it's speculations galore

Finally one day you start a stream, Ranboo sitting next to you in his mask and glasses getup and you in a similar fashion

"You're all little bitches. Ranboo and I are siblings."

Stream ends not too long after that

And now that the cat's out the bag, there is no wall between you and Ranboo anymore. Both of you enjoy making sibling content

[actuallysaiyan]

My Personal Love Story: Jiraiya

Request: "She/ her. I'm an ISTP, born on the Pisces-Aries cusp, my venus sign is Taurus. I'm also an obsessive overthinker and very uncomfortable in my own skin. For my love language I like giving gifts and providing acts of service but in return, I secretly enjoy receiving affection through physical touch, which may be weird since i'm really private and reserved and too shy to initiate anything. I love travelling experiencing other cultures an trying new food. I need to go somewhere new a few times a year, it's one of the joys of my life because it is in my travels that I get to let go for a bit and just enjoy the moment and maybe consider doing something stupid because you can get away with it in a place you may not return to for a while (not too crazy though im a responsible adult haha). For a date, I'd prefer it to be really casual and relaxed coz it can be really uncomfortable for me to be meeting new people. You know, anxiety. lol idk if it helps but I have a dark sense of humor. For the character I'd like it to be a younger Jiraiya (so we'd be closer in age) because having a sense of humor is very important to me. He's just seems friendly and easy going i feel like he'd make me feel at ease. It can have a bit of smut 😅"

Your Song: I Melt With You- Modern English Headcanons:

Jiraiya was so taken aback by you at first. You met when you were both still teenagers, and you thought he was a little too inappropriate and rude. He grew on you over time as he matured(mostly...hahah) and he became a man. The next time you saw him was after the war, and you were the one to be taken aback.

It was a slow romance, Jiraiya wanted to make sure you felt comfortable. He was still recovering from some of his own problems and he had his own hopes and dreams, but he never forgot about you.

One night, he invited you out for dinner. You were surprised at how nervous you were about going on a date with Jiraiya. The whole night, Jiraiya had you laughing and smiling. You were so amazed at how much he had changed. You were starting to develop a crush on him.

Then as you continued to see one another, Jiraiya just made it official with you. He didn’t want to be with anyone else and he was ready to end his bachelor life if it meant he got to spend the rest of his life with you.

You and Jiraiya travel together as he tries to complete his quest. You’re always so blown away at the beauty of all the different cultures in this beautiful world. Jiraiya always picks out one souvenir from each place you go to so that you can bring it home.

When you’re both in Konoha, you live in a small house together. You have some wonderful memories in that house and you and Jiraiya love to make the most of it. He often will spend time writing his books as you relax and edit some of his manuscripts. This is a hobby you both enjoy while you’re both home.

Your sex life has never been better. Jiraiya knows exactly what he’s doing to you and he is very skilled at pleasing you. He is a very attentive lover and he knows all the special spots on your body to caress or bite. He always praises you so much and he very much enjoys making you feel good.

Lots of cuddles. Jiraiya loves having you fall asleep on his chest while you’re both taking a nap. He wraps himself around you, holding you close. He’ll place soft kisses to your forehead as he thanks whatever higher power is out there that let him have you in the first place.

Jiraiya is so proud of you. Anything you do, you know you will have your own personal cheerleader. Jiraiya will do anything to make you so happy, so he is very supportive of all your hobbies. He loves seeing you succeed as he recognizes how talented and wonderful you are.

Jiraiya also loves publicly showing you off. He thinks he’s so lucky to have you as his partner, and you are the sexiest person in his eyes. In public, he’s going to parade you around a little, but just know that it comes from a place of true love. He’s crazy about you.

Your First Kiss/First Time:

He unlocks the door to his apartment and lets you in. You are a little surprised that it’s this clean. You were expecting it to be a bit more like a guy’s place, but Jiraiya is someone who does enjoy having a clean space to be able to live comfortably.

“Thanks for coming with me tonight. I’m really enjoying our time together.” He says as he shuts the door behind him.

“I’m enjoying our time together too, Jiraiya.” You reply as he walks over to you. He slowly guides you towards the wall and you have your back pressed up against it.

His fingers tilt your head forward, as he looks deeply into your eyes. You can see so much emotion from this one look, and you swear you see a look of love and admiration in his eyes. Jiraiya leans in and captures your lips in a very sweet but passionate kiss.

You moan softly as you realize what’s happening. You lean in to kiss him back, your tongue teasings his lips. Jiraiya’s hands run from your shoulders down to your hips. You pull away to breathe, but it doesn’t take long for Jiraiya to kiss you once more.

His hands cup your ass as you feel him pull you up. Your legs wrap around him instinctively, as you feel yourself grow aroused. Your tongues fight for dominance as Jiraiya begins squeezing your ass.

“Jiraiya,” You whine breathlessly. Jiraiya smirks as he studies your plump red lips. You can feel his erection grinding up against you.

“I need you,” His voice is gruff and low as he confesses how he feels. You swallow hard, your heart beating so fast in your chest right now.

“I need you too,” you tell him. He just groans as he realizes what you’ve just said. He pulls you from the wall and carries you to the bedroom. When your back hits the mattress, you squeal in surprise. Jiraiya eyes you up and down.

“I love seeing you on my bed like this, you look so damn amazing.” He’s so aroused right now, he can’t think straight.

“Why don’t you join me?” You ask him in a teasing tone. His eyes light up at this and within seconds he’s next to you on the bed.

His lips connect to your neck, sucking and nipping while his hands make busy work with your shirt. You groan his name as he sucks on your sweet spot, making your pussy clench around nothing.

“You smell so fucking good, baby. I can’t wait to taste you.” Jiraiya says as he tosses your shirt to the ground. When he sees your breasts in that sexy bra of yours, Jiraiya goes absolutely feral.

You were in for a good night.

[treasure-hwa]

as stubborn as you

pairing: seonghwa x female reader

genre: fluff, comedy, a tentative of enemies to lovers

synopsis: it's been a long way since they were kids and best friends. They consider themselves arch-enemies, but are they really?

word count: 4528

author's note: I took TOO LONG to write this one, I know! But it’s here and it’s here on this precious star’s birthday!!! I hope you all enjoy reading this. By the way, yes, I changed the story from “pocky challenge” to “pepero challenge”.

taglist: @winterviolet1 @multidreams-and-desires @ateezinmymind @devil-mp3 @little-precious-baby @hwaddict @trinityhasjams @hwa-luvs because when I did my little survey on what should I write, you voted for Hwa <3 @suni-ho

The doorbell rang and, from the bathroom, you heard your brother yelling for you to get the door. You rolled your eyes and took a deep breath, preparing yourself to see that boy's face and try not to punch it. As you opened the door, a body crashed on yours and you didn't even need to see the face to see who it was.

— Wooyoung!

— Babe!

He kissed your cheek and moved away so the other boys could greet you too, but the last one barely looked at you, he seemed displeased to see you there, as if you didn't have the right to be at your own house. It was enough to see him at school, but in your house too?

Who is he, the reader must be asking. He was Park Seonghwa, your arch-enemy. How does one become an arch-enemy? Easy. Park Seonghwa was incredibly annoying and too perfect at everything he did, which was a lot. Class president, student council, volleyball and soccer player and dancer. To top it all, unfortunately, he was your younger brother's best friend and a member of your friend group, so you saw each other too often.

Didn't Yeosang, your brother, know how much you disliked his friend? You both were constantly picking on each other, everything the other said was a reason to eye rolls and scoffs. Quite annoying and immature of you two, the group friend thought, even if they were used by that now.

— Hi, guys, — Yeosang came out of the bathroom, sat on the couch beside Hongjoong and looked at you and his older friend on the door. — Are you two gonna spend the whole afternoon there?

Seonghwa smirked and let out the first teasing of the day:

— I know I’m a very important person, but you don’t need to wait for me to get in and sit to do the same.

You breathed deeply and pushed the door close, almost slamming it.

— Anyways… what are we doing today?

— I brought my new dancing game! — Yunho exclaimed and took the game out of his backpack. — Who wants to play it?

Everybody raised their hands and started asking if they could dance to certain songs, and to your surprise, Seonghwa said the same song you did, and it only fueled him to win over you, because that was one of his favorite songs, he had to be better. Everybody was shocked that you two had at least one thing in common.

— You dance? Since when? I thought your motor coordination was super bad — Seonghwa teased, raising an eyebrow.

— For your information, yes, I do dance and I am very good at it, thank you.

— Up for a challenge?

You two glared at each other, if you were a cartoon, there would be fire on your eyes. Most of the time, your group friend would hate your competitiveness, but it could be fun right now, so they rushed you to get up and Yunho put on the dance game.

It was a girl group song, in which you knew he was amazing at dancing, just as perfect as he was on all the other things he did, but even knowing that, you had to do better, so both put heart and soul on the performance, moving bodies exactly like the figure on the TV was doing.

By the end of the dance, you were panting, sweating and collapsed on the floor. Wooyoung quickly jumped over Seonghwa's body to sit behind you and put your head on his lap, complimenting your dance skills.

— Was it worth it? Did you have fun? — Jongho asked, looking at you, not amused at all.

— Of course… it was. I was… better — Seonghwa spoke between inhaling and exhaling air.

— You weren’t! I was!

— Ha! As if! I am the best.

— Listen here, Park...

— Here we go again. 

— Mom, mom!

— In the backyard!

Seven-year-old you had just arrived from school, your dad went to pick you up, while your mother went to pick your younger brother from his school. You ran to the backyard just to be greeted with a tight hug from a slightly smaller boy, that was not Yeosang, still in his school uniform.

— Noona!

— Wooyoung! — You laughed and hugged your brother’s best friend back. — I’ll play with you and Yeosang in a second, okay?

He nodded and went back to the other boy playing ball. You went to your mother and told her:

— Mom, I need to do a project in a group with two boys.

— Really? And are they your friends?

— No. — You pouted. — I don’t know them well.

— There is no problem, sweetheart, ask them for their phone numbers and I’ll call their parents to invite them over so you can work on the project. Does that sound good?

— Yes, mom, thanks!

Then, you ran towards the two six-year-old boys running, playing a weird kind of two-people tag.

In the same week, your mother called the boys' parents and scheduled a day for them to come to your house. When they arrived, you smiled big and welcomed them, they were Hongjoong and Seonghwa.

After some minutes of talking, you noticed Hongjoong talked more and had a nice colorful backpack, which he proudly showed saying his mom had painted it for him. Excited, you told him he should be the group leader since he looked confident in everything. Seonghwa was quieter, but heard and looked at everything attentively, so he agreed with you. Even if he was older, Hongjoong sounded more suited for the position.

When you were doing the project, colouring and writing, a loud voice and quick footsteps were heard, coming closer to the living room, where the three of you were. The voice owner was Wooyoung, who came to play with Yeosang again, however he changed his path to see you first and didn't like seeing another guy so close to you, looking at what you were writing and speaking quietly to not disturb anyone.

— Noona! Who is he?

— Oh, hi, Woo! They are my friends, Hongjoong — you pointed to the boy across you with the mullet, — and Seonghwa — you pointed to the boy beside you, wearing a red hoodie. — We are doing school stuff.

The boys waved to the younger one.

— I didn't know you had a brother — Seonghwa said.

— I do, but it isn't him, Woo is my brother's best friend. I can introduce you to Yeosang later.

And you did when it was break time. Your mother prepared snacks for the five kids and called all of you to sit at the dinner table, where your friends met your brother and they instantly clicked, though Yeosang was a little shy around strangers.

— Wooyoung! Don’t make a mess — you warned him and cleaned his cheek.

— Sorry~

Seonghwa and Wooyoung weren't the best of the friends right from the start and they still had little fights over the years, but you never understood them. Their friendship definitely grew though.

That was the beginning of the group, when you and Seonghwa were super friends. The others just came along the way.

The restaurant table was large enough for the nine of you, having a booth around its three sides, however Wooyoung insisted on coming closer to you, which didn’t make you uncomfortable at all. You had discussed it before, your feelings hadn't changed since you were little kids, you would always be best friends, you would be his noona and he would be your dongsaeng. The flirt and teasing was just for comedy. He was just a super sweet person who had to give love to who he loved the most, and you accepted his love because it was him.

— Wooyoung, we can't just drown ourselves in this gigantic glass of soda! You are crazy if you think I'm swallowing all this in seconds.

— You are just a coward.

— Hey, that's no way to talk to your noona! — You took the glass out of his hand, then held his face.

— Oh, shut up — he rolled his eyes fondly.

— Make me.

The moment was broken by an annoyed voice:

— Why don’t you two just get a freaking room? We don’t want to see your flirting.

You scoffed and diverted your eyes from Wooyoung, who was now grinning, and placed them on Seonghwa, who was sitting at the extremity of the booth, sipping his soda and looking out of the big window.

— Are you jealous, Seonghwa?

— Huh, you wish!

— Never in a million years. — You threw a saggy french fry on him, and the boy gave you a murderous look, ready to throw it back on you, but everybody stopped you two before things could get violent and you all were banned from the restaurant.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

— I just can't stand him!

— Yet, you talk about him every time you get the chance — Yeosang spoke nonchalantly, keeping his eyes on his video-game.

— But I'm complaining about his behavior.

— You just hate that he is better than you in certain things — he mumbled back.

You inhaled deeply, remembering how your scores on that dance game were always close to his, but never better.

— It's not that… he just annoys me.

Yeosang was right, but you would never agree outloud. When you were thirteen, Seonghwa started being the best student of the class, the best boy of the school, the most talented, everybody loved him. You were just there, beside him, even if you were a great student too, nobody really paid attention to you.

It came a time where not even Seonghwa would pay attention to you. He would hang out with his new friends, with Hongjoong, with the group, but only when you weren’t with them. He talked to you just the bare minimum and it hurted that it seemed like the “fame”  he had in school got to his head. Seonghwa wasn’t the same quiet boy you had met when you were seven, so you decided to not be the excited girl you were back then with him.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

— But seriously, when will Wooyoung just ask her out? It's getting annoying how he never makes a real move.

Hongjoong paid attention to what his friend was talking even if he was choosing new clothes, but the boy didn't believe what he had just heard.

— What are you even talking about, Seonghwa? You know he doesn't like her like that. They are just super close friends.

— I don't know, something on those two just doesn't smell good.

— Yeah, that's your jealousy, because he is still her friend, but you are not. Now, let's go, I'll try this one.

Jealousy? Pff, please! The boy thought while he followed Hongjoong to the fitting room. Why would he be jealous? Just because you chose Wooyoung over him? It was no big deal, Wooyoung was your friend before he had showed up in your life. Sure it annoyed him when you all were younger that you kept meeting up with Wooyoung, when Wooyoung wasn’t present in the group because he was watching a movie with you, when Wooyoung was always hugging you out of nowhere... he may have distanced himself that time.

But it wasn’t jealousy, he convinced himself. Not now. He had nothing to be jealousy of if he didn’t even like you.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

Two weeks later, now at Jongho's house, you had a full studying day. While you, Hongjoong and Seonghwa were in the last year of high school, Yeosang, Yunho, Wooyoung, San and Mingi were in their second year and Jongho was alone in first year. He saw it as an opportunity to nag his hyungs and noona to help him. Needless to say, no one resisted him that long.

The studying session, however, was messy. Snacks crumbles were all over the place, covering books and the floor, San even dropped his chocolate milk on the table. You had a break time to eat something real, so Jongho and Yunho poured soda on glasses and everybody made their own sandwiches to their own likes. Later, you ate ice cream and had to hear a long discussion about mint choco ice cream between San and Hongjoong. You were about to scream, but Seonghwa took a napkin and pressed it against San’s mouth, saying “shut up! I don’t wanna hear any more words”. It worked.

After the studying was over, it was clean time. While you liked everything clean, you hated cleaning, so of course you didn't volunteer yourself. But, through a rock, paper, scissors game, it was decided that you and Seonghwa would do the dishes and clean the living room while Yeosang, Yunho and Hongjoong went to get real dinner. The others went to lay in the backyard and "breath fresh air since the weather is so nice".

— Do you think it is a good idea to let them together? They hate each other. — Yunho commented while Hongjoong started his old car.

— They really don't — Hongjoong answered. Yeosang agreed.

While that, you and Seonghwa were washing plates and throwing knives at each other. Not literally though. Not yet.

— Why are you so bad at rock, paper, scissors? — He teased. — You hate cleaning, should have done better.

— Me?! You were the one who played late and still lost! What did you even do that?

— Well, because I…

You didn’t let him finish, because your head was almost exploding, so you threw drops of water on his face, which soon expressed pure shock. Quickly, he wetted his hands and did the same to you.

— Are you a child?!

— Are you made of sugar?

So a water war started, leaving you both with humid hair and wet faces. It only ended because you slipped on droplets of water on the floor and he caught you before you could hit your head on the counter behind you. When he pulled you forward, you collided with his chest and was at a loss for words for some seconds.

— Are you alright?

You nodded slowly and got away from him when you heard the boys were coming back inside.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

When your birthday came, you were excited and welcomed all the boys and a few girl friends, who couldn't understand why you disliked Seonghwa that much. The boy was perfect and so nice with everyone. You would always roll your eyes with that. Anyways, they all gave you gifts and enjoyed the small party, one of them hoping to see a certain friend of yours. You would play cupid someday. 

Wooyoung entered your house jumping on you as always, kissing your cheek and screaming "happy birthday!". He was a cutie, but, one day, you would lose your hearing. Seonghwa came last and gave you a square shaped gift, not hugging you, just shaking your hand and offering a pause on the rivalry.

— It's your birthday, you should be happy and be better than me at least today.

You smiled, thanked him, but still squeezed his hand until he was saying sorry.

— Come on in, try not to be a pain in the ass. I know sometimes you can’t control it.

— You are it! Ah, nice outfit by the way.

You chuckled and rolled your eyes, taking his gift to your room, you would open all of them later. When you came back to your party, you saw one of your girl friends talking to Seonghwa and… laughing hard? What was wrong with her? He wasn’t even funny.

— Planning his murder again? — Hongjoong bumped his shoulder with yours, following your eyes to Seonghwa.

— What? No! I mean, yes. All the time.

— You can’t fool me, stop lying.

— I’m not lying. He’s here just because he is part of the group.

— You know… he has been talking to me about you.

— Has he? What did he say? — you answered eagerly.

The boy laughed and shook his head.

— I think he doesn’t like how Wooyoung is so close to you.

— Well, it sounds like a him problem — you mumbled. — We are just friends.

While you changed the topic and diverted your attention from the other boy, Seonghwa had excused himself from your friend and went to take a glass of soda. Yeosang followed his friend and asked if he had brought a gift.

— Of course I did. We may be arch-enemies, but it’s her birthday. I know how to be decent.

— And what did you give her? I hope it’s not a bomb.

— It isn’t. — He gave a small smile, but hid it behind his glass.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

When you were alone in your room, you opened the gifts you had received. They were all very nice, you loved them all, but Seonghwa’s probably got deeper to your heart. It was simple, nothing fancy, but held memories of when you were little kids.

— Hwa! You came!

— Of course I did! Is Wooyoung here? — He peeked inside your house. — It’s quiet.

— He is not. — You laughed. — Yeosang went to his house, so today is just me and you. And my mom, but me and you! Hongjoong couldn’t come, he had guitar lessons.

The boy nodded and widened his eyes before speaking again:

— My mom made cookies for us. I-I helped her. — He smiled and handed you a pretty pink container with chocolate cookies inside.

— Really?! That’s so cool! Thank you, Hwa.

That day, you sat around the living room center table, ate the delicious cookies that he insisted on not telling you the recipe, with crayons, colored pencils and paper scattered around you while you two drew and painted several things. You ended up drawing the two of you plus Hongjoong, to symbolize the best friends group formed two years ago in school, but, when you exchanged drawings at the end of the day, you noticed he had drawn only you and him eating cookies and hearts and flowers. It was pretty, so you kissed his cheek before he entered his car.

So, yes, when you saw the same pink container with the same special cookies — you have always loved them, but Seonghwa never told you the recipe — and the drawing you had made years ago inside the gift wrapping, your heart might have clenched and your eyes stung with tears. You kind of missed the old times.

★━━━━━━✩━━━━━━★

Joining the boys that night was an idiot choice. You realized that the moment Mingi suggested playing Truth or Dare. Why did he even suggest that? Everybody agreed excitedly, so it was a dead end, at least it wasn't like they would order you to kiss any of them.

But you were wrong. You were so wrong.

As the bottle spun and stopped at you and Yeosang, you knew he would have no mercy. He asked the question and, for some unknown reason, you answered dare. Maybe you would like to see what he had in mind.

Not good things, you concluded after he said "do the pepero game with Seonghwa". You and the boy choked on your own saliva, looking away for a moment. San took the candy out of its package and offered it to his friend.

— Seonghwa? No way. Step aside, I can do this for you — Wooyoung suggested, winking to you, making you smirk playfully.

— No. I’ll do it — the eldest spoke up, making your eyes widen.

Seonghwa took the chocolate stick from San's hand and placed one of the ends between his perfect teeth. Rolling your eyes, but sweating on the inside, you got closer and refused to touch him in any way, which he approved. You put the pepero in your mouth and when San said “start!”, both your and Seonghwa’s mouths got closer, going forward on the stick.

Nobody thought you two would really do it, they actually expected you to poke each other’s eyes with the candy at the moment Yeosang set the dare. But you loved a challenge, so maybe that was why you two were not stopping.  Seonghwa’s hand went to the side of your neck, thumb placed gently on your jaw, and, surprisingly, you said nothing, just kept getting closer and closer, dangerously close.

— Will they… — Jongho started, but did not finish as an impossible scene was happening in front of his eyes. — They are....

The dark chocolate pepero disappeared inside your mouths as they were glued together, sharing a rather steamy kiss. Your hands were entangled in his gray hair and your mind could only think “his hair is soft, his tongue is soft, his lips too and they are so skillful”.

You kept going until Yunho came back from the bathroom and yelled at surprise. At that moment, your minds seemed to clear from some kind of hypnosis and you pushed each other far. You exclaimed “who wants more soda?” and ran to the kitchen, while Seonghwa rested his back on the couch behind him and wiped his mouth with his shirt.

Yeosang went after his sister and the other six boys glared at Seonghwa with a confused look, demanding an explanation. In the kitchen, you downed glasses of water as if they were vodka shots.

— What are you doing?

— Taking his disgusting taste out of my mouth.

Your brother took your shoulders and turned you to him, looking deep in your eyes.

— Stop lying to yourself — he whisper-yelled to your face. — You like him, it’s okay!

— I don’t! It was just…

From the living room, you heard Mingi shouting:

— I can’t believe you really did the Pepero challenge with her! Isn't her your rival or something like that?

— Yes, of course. And? — Seonghwa answered, trying to sound nonchalant while fixing the strands you messed.

— Dude, you just kissed her instead of stopping eating the candy. You’re not rivals. — Yunho slapped his shoulder, as if he was comforting the friend.

— We are! I didn’t even like their kiss that much.

You couldn’t contain yourself, so you shouted back for him to listen:

— Oh, yes, Park Seonghwa, sure you didn’t like my kiss, but maybe you should tell that to your tongue. That was disgusting!

An ovation was heard from the boys and Seonghwa stomped to the kitchen, meeting you in the middle of the way.

— Disgusting, you say now, but your tongue sure didn’t mind when it joined mine. And your hands! They… They were all over my hair! — His fingers pushed his hair back and, once again, you thought how soft it was. — Stop staring!

After shaking your head, you noticed a faint blush on his cheeks and his eyes were restless, searching a safe spot to look at.

— But you held my neck first! You’re not any better.

— Do you two want a little… private time to discuss your feelings? — Yeosang tried, holding a laugh in, because, yes, it was very funny how you and Seonghwa tried to deny your feelings, when he knew this mutual hate was nothing more than masked desire bullshit.

— No! — both shouted together.

Before you run up the stairs to your bedroom, you stuttered and attacked:

— Your… your breath stink!

His eyes widened and of course he could not let you have the last word, let alone those words, so, yes, he followed you, shouting “it doesn’t!”. Your brother laughed at the way the boy’s cheeks were even redder and went back to the living room, offering to watch a movie to his other friends.

Seonghwa arrived at your room before you could close the door and held it with his foot.

— Go away, freak.

— No! Take it back.

— Take what back, Seonghwa? — you sighed, getting tired from the situation.

— My breath doesn’t stink. Take that back.

— I’ll need to check again.

All your movements ceased when you realized what you had said. The boy was still processing if he heard correctly. You left your spot by the door and threw yourself on the bed.

— Did you really say what I think you did?

— Depends. — Your voice came out muffled by the pillow. — What do you think you heard?

As the mattress dipped with additional weight, you shut your eyes, not wanting to look at him. You had basically confessed, right? Slowly, you sat up and kept your stare at your fingers, playing with them if they were the most interesting thing you had ever seen.

— I’m so-

— What are you waiting for then? Kiss me again and check it.

Your eyes widened and you turned your whole body to him. Seonghwa didn’t want to waste any more time, so he cupped a side of your face and leaned in to get your lips with his. The boy’s mouth was moving with yours slowly, tasting it the best he could and his breath definitely didn’t stink.

Going past the shock, your hands went up to his hair once again, caressing his nape and slightly pulling him closer to you, because it was the best kiss you have ever had — among three: your first one, the one that happened earlier that night and the present one —, but still wasn’t enough. Seonghwa’s kisses had plenty of the feelings that your first kiss with your pre-adolescence crush lacked, and you were already addicted. Call it whatever, but you secretly hoped he would kiss you forever.

This desire, however, couldn’t be fulfilled, because air was a thing and apparently you had to get it, but the kiss sure left you feeling on cloud nine.

— So… — he said low, his breath fanning over your wet lips. — Does my breath stink?

— Yeah… no. You’re free of this.

You opened your eyes slowly only to be met with a pair of big, round, shining eyes. The shining eyes you would always notice when you were kids.

— Hey, uhm… I know we are arch-enemies, but… — The boy scratched his neck, looking away from you. — What if we were arch-enemies with benefits?

You wanted to laugh and tease him, but the offer was interesting, so you asked more information about the concept.

— Like… we can hug, kiss, talk, maybe hang out together, but we still tease and compete with each other?

Reader must now be laughing at how silly the boy was, but he looked 100% serious and you gave it a thought before agreeing.

— If I get to kiss and tease you, it’s okay for me.

He chuckled and pulled you to another kiss, that didn’t last because you two were giggling and smiling too much.

— Can we hang out together soon? Just the two of us, I mean. — He caressed your cheek, noticing how it was warm.

— Like a date?

He stumbled on his own words, but nodded.

— Like a date.

— You are so whipped for me, Seonghwa.

— Shut up!

[dolliedarlin]

⏤l o v e s t r u c k 

s u m m a r y : you have a quirk called 'animate' and it's very emotions-based, meaning that if you feel a very strong emotion, you're able to animate things and however strong that emotion is, the stronger it is the things you animate. Also, the pupil of your eyes can change shape or colour in accordance - red for anger and blue for saddness. In battle this is useful for animating weapons and such, however, when you fall in love...it's usefulness isn't always straightforward.

a / n : this is my first time writing for bnha characters so i'm really sorry for any inaccuracies in personalities. also, i, unfortunately, have only been able to think of this imgaine concerning bakugou and todoroki. even so, please enjoy the read!

w a r n i n g s : profanity by the obvious culprit

k a t s u k i  b a k u g o u  

❥ it happened when you saw his passion and drive during practice...

❥ You always held a deep admiration for people who knew what they wanted and fought for it no matter what. Those were your parents, pro heroes who fought for the greater good as well as each other, and you, so you wanted to be like them and make them proud.

❥ Not only that but you were also a fanatic about LOVE.

❥ Your parents may have only had you as their only child but the insurmountable amount of love they had for each other would give birth to over a hundred children.

❥ You wouldn't have minded having younger siblings but you knew that your parents, being pro heroes themselves, were already risking too much with having their relationship public as well as their status as parents.

❥ By hearing them always gushing over how wonderful it feels to be in love and to be loved back as well as seeing how they act around each other - still a pair of love-struck teenagers in love - you were eager to meet the love of your life and fight for him

❥ During training or instances when you have to fight, it's that want to love and be loved that also fuels the power behind your animations. This power has only strengthened the instant you found the person you were destined to stand with forever.

❥ Bakugou Katsuki.

❥ The moment you took the time to look at him, really look at him and understand who he was was during tests and hero training.

❥ He's a skilled fighter with passion and drive. Admittedly, he's as explosive as his quirk and as rude as rude can get but you saw through that every time his eyes narrowed into a focused stare whenever he was fighting or studying.

❥ It really shows through how passionate he is about becoming the number one hero and you found yourself falling hard for him every time you saw the fire behind his eyes.

❥ It was just so attractive; your little heart couldn't take it!

❥ The time you really fell for him was during the final exams.  Yes, he was stubborn but only because he was so determined. Yes, it was a struggle and they almost lost all home but he never gave up. He was the perfect one for you.

❥ Although you were worried and scared for them at the time, your heart skipped many beats and you soon found those hearts being animated around you as you watched on, worried but falling deeply in love.

❥ You know very well that he can protect himself but your love for him encouraged you to protect him at all costs, especially when you saw him in such a vulnerable state. He was never like that so you swore to yourself that you had to get stronger so that he'd never have to be in such a state again.

❥ Not only that but you had to get stronger for yourself as well as Bakugou.

❥ You wanted to protect him but also be worthy enough to stand by his side.

❥ It became easier to train after having fallen for Katsuki, actually. Now that you had someone in mind to push you forward, someone to visualise being by your side through tough times the way he would be there for you as well, only helped you grow stronger and stronger.

❥ Over time, it became obvious to everyone, even Bakugou how deeply in love you were with him. Not a day goes by without you losing your focus during class only to stare at your ash-blonde classmate with animated hearts floating around your head and hearts in your eyes.

❥ Because of that, you found your grades slipping and even though you asked super nicely, even offering a shoulder massage, Bakugou refused to tutor you.

❥ "Now get out of my way heart eyes!" he snapped at you as he shoved you to the side

❥ "But darling~" you whined, "how can I ever hope to become the perfect wife for you if I don't have a good enough education?"

❥ "HEY! Who said I would ever be marrying you?! And Stop Calling Me That!"

❥ "Oh! Would you prefer 'honey', instead? Or 'sweetheart'? Or 'love of my life'?" by now he was a blushing mess but he still had a snarl on his face. The pink in his cheeks was a win for you though so even if he continued to refuse, you wouldn't mind.

❥ "I don't prefer any of those shit names! Now Leave Me Alone!"

❥ "Fine," you grumble with a whimper and he almost felt guilty at the sad look that crossed your delicate features, "I'll just ask Midoriya-kun for help instead-"

❥ "My room! Bring your shit! 6 pm! Don't be late!"

❥ "Oh Darling~ I knew you wouldn't say no to me~"

❥ It was amusing really, to everyone except you and Bakugou, to see your interactions with each other. You were too in love to notice anyone's teasing whilst Bakugou kept being pushed over the edge by his supposed 'friends'.

❥ "Friends my ass," he grumbled as they whispered behind him about how hilarious it was to watch you pinning for him.

❥ It wasn't funny! It was serious! You were serious about him and he knows it, you said it yourself.

❥ "Stop overdoing it dumbass," he glares down at your exhausted, panting form. It seems as though you were doing extra training atop his tutoring sessions.

❥ "but..." you looked up at him with a tired smile, "I can't be the perfect wife until I'm strong enough to stand beside you..."

❥ He didn't know what to say except for, "I'd rather have a wife that can cook and have good grades at school than a dead one from fatigue," he helps you up and takes you back to the dorms. He didn't know why the hell he said that but you didn't say anything so he assumed you just didn't hear him in your worn state.

❥ After that day, however, you insisted on cooking every day and finally got your grades up. You almost beat him in scores, actually. It was surprising but it proved how serious you were about your love for him. He almost became soft for you.

❥ "Stop doing so much heart eyes," he growled as he saw you making breakfast in the early morning.

❥ "But I need to become a good wife for you, Darling~" you chirped happily as you poured him some apple juice, "and to do that I have to be a good cook - just like you said!"

❥ "Tch! How are you so sure you'll stay interested? You'll find someone else eventually," Bakugou always saying nonsense thoughtlessly whenever he was around you and it was beginning to get on his nerves. He didn't care about this shit, so why in the hell was he saying it to you?

❥ "Nonsense," you huffed adorably, hands on your waist as you turned to him with a frown after lowering the heat on your heart-shaped cinnamon pancakes, "you're the love of my life, there's no one else on this earth that I would ever want except you Katsuki," you flashed him a close-eyed smile, "You're my one and only, Darling~"

❥ He begins to shout out of habit before turning away so you don't see his blush, "Shut up with that bullshit! Your dumb pancakes are gonna burn!" you didn't see his face did you?

❥  In your perspective, you still had a long way to go before you could ever reach Bakugou's standards and finally stand by his side when in actuality you had unknowingly made him want to stand beside you by just being yourself.

s h o t o  t o d o r o k i

❥ it happened when you saw him smiling for the first time...

❥ The moment you first met Todoroki, you were determined to make him your friend.

❥ No matter how many times he had pushed you away, you were never deterred, in fact, it only fueled your determination in befriending him.

❥ It hurt you to see someone so closed off and without a clue as to how amazing it felt to feel loved and return that love, whether it be romantic or platonic.

❥ You wanted Todoroki to feel that beautiful feeling as well.

❥ All your life, you always had a very loving home with many younger siblings that you adore taking care of. Despite the occasional tantrums that they would act out, they were still the sweetest kids in your eyes and you would do anything for them

❥ Obviously, growing up in such a warm environment made you a very compassionate and empathetic person, even your quirk stemmed off of that which proved to be an advantage in your journey to becoming a hero

❥ The more emotional you were - regardless of if you were extremely happy or angry - that became your source of power in battles, meaning that the things you animated became all the more powerful on the field. The more you wanted to save someone from evil, the stronger you were.

❥ That was the obvious advantage but...that wasn't the case for when you wanted to be subtle about feeling intense emotions like...

❥ falling in love

❥ You didn't expect it with Todoroki, however.

❥ At the end of the day, he was your dear friend through and through. It took a lot of hard work and persistence for him to finally put his trust in you and return your friendship

❥ You didn't want to sabotage all that hard work. He was just beginning to reciprocate your friendly gestures, gestures that you would almost cry over each time because it felt like such a big step for him.

❥ It made you feel such pride when you saw him lose the cold look in his eyes and finally relax when talking with others and engaging in friendly activities

❥ Admittedly, Todoroki was still blunt and clueless to some things but he had all the time in the world to work on that. Having already taken the first step himself, the momentum for his exploration in emotions and opening up to others had begun and you're sure everything will just fall into place after that.

❥ Of course, he still needed some assistance so you had been helping him understand certain emotions and why people would feel a certain way under different circumstances.

❥ It was honestly the cutest thing and you were beyond happy to help satiate his curious mind on various topics he never had a straight answer for.

❥ EXCEPT for studies...he was better than you in that regard most definitely- yep! He's the one that needs to help you if that were the case.

❥ "I don't understand how you could get such a simple question wrong, (Y/N)..." he mused, genuinely dumbfounded at how horribly you failed at answering the practice question.

❥ "Please just help me, Todoroki-kun," you whined, flushing in shame at how horrible you were at English.

❥ "I apologise," he gives a soft bow of his head as you smile and wave off his apology before... "but I really am curious, even a little bit concerned for you,"

❥ "Just help me!"

❥ Not only did you need help in studies, you needed help with hero training. So you trained together. The two of you were dedicated students and always provided great input on ways of improving technique and approaches towards attacks. You made a perfect oblivious pair.

❥ The time your feelings decided to show was when the two of you had just finished sparing and it had been your turn to pay for an icy treat as a reward for such hard work. After making a short stop at the convenience store, you were now on your way back to the dorms happily chatting with ice creams in hand.

❥ "Is it weird to want to become closer to someone..." Todoroki stares at his icicle curiously, "someone that's close to you and is always there for you?" he feels a warmth in his cheeks that he's always having to suppress around you, it was never easy but he always succeeded.

❥ All he had to do was just think about you being in danger and being unable to help. That set his flustered state back to normal right away despite the sinking feeling he felt in his heart.

❥ "It's normal to feel that way," you assure, taking another taste of your ice cream, "there's no shame in that and it's definitely not weird,"

❥ "Oh," you flash him another reassuring glance as his lips tug up into a soft smile, "I'm glad,"

❥ That was when it happened.

❥ The setting sun had framed his smiling figure with a soft glow and you were instantly the victim of his content disposition. You knew he was handsome but...he looked all the more ethereal when he was smiling - smiling in the sunlight.

❥ The glow made his hair look like freshly fallen snow beside polished rubies as his eyes, one grey and one a paralysing blue captured the twinkling essence of the sunshine perfectly. His chiseled jaw cast a shadow across his neck, further defining his proportioned features as his angular nose gave him the desired picture-perfect side profile.

❥ If he didn't resemble the embodiment of perfection then and there, you don't know what did.

❥ As you stood dumbfounded, Todoroki had turned around, having walked several steps ahead of you and was stunned into his own silence.

❥ There you stood, a meter or so behind him with animated red hearts floating around your head, your stare was fixed solely on him as you let your coned ice cream gradually melt under the heated gaze of the sun; it's stickiness attempting to glue your fingers together.

❥ This wasn't the first time he had seen your animate quirk illustrate your emotions. He remembers you explaining that whenever you felt a strong emotion, whether it be happy or sad, you would lose control of your quirk and it would animate whatever it was that you were feeling.

❥ One time, you had ranked really low on an English test and a raincloud animated itself above you before it proceeded to soak you in rain. That day he had let you borrow his blazer to avoid Mineta's perverted staring and offered his tutelage on the subject.

❥ This is new. He wonders what strong emotion you were feeling. Hearts...what did hearts represent? Love...right?

❥ He looks around before his eyes landed on your icecream. Did you love your ice cream so much that you didn't want to eat it and just let it melt in your hand? He frowns. No, that can't be it.

❥ Could it be him?

❥ "(Y/N)..."

❥ if only he smiled more...-no!

❥"(Y/N)?"

❥ That would mean more people would see his soft handsome features and you can't have that! You are the first person he showed that side of himself to so you should be the only one allowed to ever witness it again-right? Or is that too selfish-?

❥ "(Y/N)?!" thankfully, Todoroki was able to successfully snap you out of your daze.

❥ "O-Oh! Sorry Todoroki-kun," you blushed in apology, looking to the side in embarrassment, only to squeal in shock horror when you notice the hearts floating around you. Shouting nonsense in between constant 'I'm sorry's, you waved the hearts away, "I-I'm really truly s-sor-"

❥ If it weren't for Todoroki taking your free hand in his own and tugging you back along the way to the dorms once more, you would have uttered your hundredth apology but, instead, you were left a stuttering and blushing mess, your animated hearts making their comeback floating around your head.

❥ As soon as you're right next to him, he lets go of your hand and pulls you closer by the waist. By now the hearts have begun to float around him and, although you were embarrassed beyond belief with your gaze fixed to the floor, Todoroki smiled even wider before leaning down to gently kiss your temple

❥ "Now, I know you weren't lying to me," this caught your attention albeit you were still a flustered mess of a person, "this feeling is so normal the other person feels the same way too, right?"

❥ You didn't know how to respond to that. Smile or faint from too much blood rushing to your head?

❥ How about both?

n a v i . | bnha mlist

[eveenstar]

𝑩𝒂𝒍𝒍𝒂𝒅 𝒐𝒇 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝑺𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒔 [𝑨 𝑨𝒓𝒎𝒊𝒕𝒂𝒈𝒆 𝑯𝒖𝒙 𝒙 𝑹𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓 𝒙 𝑲𝒚𝒍𝒐 𝑹𝒆𝒏 𝑭𝒂𝒏𝒇𝒊𝒄𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 || 𝑭𝒓𝒐𝒛𝒆𝒏 𝑨𝑼]

||➸𝐂𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐈𝐈: 𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐊𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐨𝐟 𝐀𝐥𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐚𝐚𝐧||

Summary:  After your sister's coronation, you hoped destiny had bigger plans for you. With the arrival of the king of Alderaan, you finally feel like your life will turn into a fairytale after so many years of being isolated. Maybe you shouldn've have been so hopeful. But not everyone gets a happy ending, and maybe the answers you seek are right down the hallway.

Tags/Warnings: Angst.

Author's Note: Hello! Well, here's chapter 2 as promised. Kinda didn't like the ending, took me 3 takes. I also left a easter egg somewhere in this chapter, wanna see who'll notice it :)) Feedback is much appreciated ♡ Hope y'all enjoy!

Taglist: @girl-next-door-writes

The ball room has never been so colorful like before, and you were certain you had never felt so many eyes laid on you like shadows in the dark. Like they were waiting for one single wrong move from you, a false step, so to say.

Your feet almost slid across the floor as you searched for your grandfather Palpatine in the crowd, he was nowhere to be seen. So many unfamiliar faces and no one to recognize, but again, you had no friends.

"Hello."

You turned around and met the brown eyes of your sister, Rey, who was staring at you with a relaxed smile.

"Oh, hello me?" You stupidly looked around in a brisk, "Uh, hi. You look beautiful! Is that mother's dress?"

An astonishing scarlet dress with a V neckline, you wouldn't say it was adequate for the coronation, but she looked amazing in it. Rey's new crown fit her head perfectly, you swore it was your father's crown but the newly red crystal on it made you doubt a little. What kind of crystal was that, anyway?

"I can say the same about you." Rey sweetly smiled and looked to the huge crowd dancing around the large gala room. She never looked at you for too long, you guessed it was merely because...well, you actually had no idea.

"Your Majesty, the duke of Alzakan."

"Alsakan! Duke of Alsakan! Ahem," You stared at Rey, and given to you two being sisters, you could sense how tense she'd gotten when a taller man approached her and overly exaggerated bowed down. You don't remember hearing about this duke's arrival, even if he made it seem like he was the brightest star of the room.

The queen gave him a polite nod.

"Your Majesty, as your most profitable trading partner, it is an honor to finally meet the true queen of Naboo." The man gently kissed Rey's hand, but even if it was just a respectful greeting, you didn't blame her for being tense. This duke had the energy of a child that ate too much sugar.

Behind Rey, you coughed by accident and it caught their attention as you saw both heads turn to you with brows furrowed. You got your perfect princess posture back and offered them a apologetic smile and a wave.

Rey put herself in front of you as a way of ending this embarassing moment and distract the duke as she offered her hand for a shake.

"I must say the same about you, Duke Pryde. My grandfather spoke very highly of you." This surely boosted Pryde's ego as he smug smirked to his guards behind him, "I hope our trade routes will remain as sucessful as they were with my parents."

"Well, I, uh." Their conversation faded to background noise as you tried to distance yourself from the spotlight and pretend this never happened, maybe if you slowly backed off nobody would notice the younger princess slinding off somewhere.

You felt too many eyes on you, even if your eyes were certain nobody was watching you. You did not plan on disappointing anyone, at least, not at your sister's coronation party. Full of grace, you looked to the crowd and surroundings, and your eyes paused on a strange symbol on the far away wall just to your right. It was a sixteen-rayed symbol inscribed within a hexagon, denoting an explosive force pushing against attempts to contain it.

You were quite sure you'd seen this symbol before, somewhere. Your eyes only focused on the sigil as you tried your hardest to search your memories for it. But, the closer you got to it, an invisible force pushed it further from your grasp. Just like sand slips through your fingers when you attempt to hold it.

In fact, you do not remember your childhood, nor your early teenage years. Not a single thing. You just remember the feelings after something traumatic had happened; the loneliness, the pain, the anger and more loneliness. Sometimes, as of right now, your mind didn't feel like your own, nor did your memories. They felt like they belonged to someone else. Someone who was not you.

Tu'iea eyes deceive tu, isar nenx jostas savimi

The whispers in the walls. There they were again. They always came from the walls, but you only say that because you hate to admit that they sound right next to you.

"(Y/N)?"

You loudly gasped as you turned around in a fright, your eyes met Rey's once more. She was frowning, and with a slight worried look painted on her eyes. Oh, you hoped nobody heard it.

"Is everything alright?"

You quickly washed off your scared face and laughed to ease the situation you were currently stuck in, hoping she wouldn't do any questions about it. Or mention it by any case.

"Dear stars, yes, I'm quite alright, thank you. It was probably just some bug."

She nodded, and only when she moved away from you that you realized Rey was holding your hand in a way of calling for your attention. Before moving to her side, you glanced an eye to the wall where the symbol was, but it wasn't there.

"This party looks so alive." Rey commented besides you, her eyes were as bright as stars in the sky as she watched the people dance like there was no worries in the whole galaxy.

"Maybe we could keep the gates open." You suggested, your heart full of hope. "Your queen now, Palpatine can't control us anymore. We can bring life back into the palace!"

"We can't just change things without thinking, (Y/N)."

"But why not? It can be like before. I don't understand." You softly grabbed her hands and stared into her eyes, "This party doesn't have to be the only one. We can have plenty of more!"

"That's right," She replied, and your smile stretched further, "You don't understand. You never will. Things will never be like before."

And just like that, you felt your heart shatter into millions of pieces, like somebody just pulled your heart out of your chest and stabbed it right in front of you. Even if you and Rey weren't close, she had never spoken to you that way. No, something changed about her.

Upon realizing her mistake, Rey let go of your hands and smiled, but a strange one. A forced smile.

"Forgive me, I...Excuse me."

Not even giving you the chance to apologize, you watched Rey disappear behind some group of horned beings, which you didn't even try to remember what they were before you heard another voice behind you.

"Princess (Y/N), we meet again." Kylo Ren, that voice was impossible to forget. "I was just about to meet the queen, did something happen?"

"Oh, no, she had to...to talk to some duke of Alzakan." You looked back at with, forcing the same smile Rey had just pulled ten seconds ago.

"You look upset." His coal eyes were analyzing you once more, as if he was trying to read your inner thoughts. His eyes were like black holes, you quote internally, so easy to get lost in. They held so many emotions within. Your mother used to tell you that your eyes are mirrors to your soul, and you believe it, most of the time. You wonder what kind of soul Kylo Ren had.

"I'm sorry, do you want to get some air?"

The king silently nodded and gave you the front lead to the palace private gardens, your most favorite place to wander around and be in contact with nature, since you weren't allowed to leave the palace's grounds.

The echoes of the enchanting gala sounds began to fade in the background at each step you took farther from it. The shiny walls were replaced by glass ones, the only barrier between you and the actual garden. It was ethereal at moonlight, a complete breathtaking view. If you were to choose a place to spend all of eternity, this garden would be the chosen one.

Saturn Gardens.

The name you remember choosing for them when you were a child. Which doesn't make a lot of sense since it's only one garden, but hey, who cares right? Saturn was a funny name, you had a slight feeling it belonged to a name of something you were deeply fond of, but you couldn't quite grasp what it was. Nonetheless, you were thankful you choose a good name for them.

Yvir always told you how heavenly you looked at moonlight, and you're sure of it. This place is almost magical, so peaceful and silent even when there's a party happening just on the end of the hallway. You remember falling asleep here a few times, either it was reading or painting. You were quite a multi-talent person thanks to growing up bored and isolated on a huge palace, so you've gained a few skills here and there. This place was your big centre of inspiration.

You felt free here, from all responsabilities and troubles of life.

You discreetly glanced a curious eye to Kylo, who was walking besides you and attentively exploring the garden with his eyes only. In your mind, you wondered if he had a safe place too. A place where he felt free of everything, where he could relax without troubles, or where he felt inspired. Maybe everyone has something like that, you're not sure.

"Truth be told, I have no idea why my grandfather ordered the gates to be closed, or why most staff was fired." You sighed while your fingers gently passed through some book pages laying there on the pale blue glass table. Kylo looked over to you with an intrigued gaze. "Or why my sister shut me out. It was always me and myself."

So distracted by your thoughts, you barely noticed Kylo taking your hand from the book and hold it. His hands felt warm, surprisingly, as you had imagined that they were cold as ice. In difference to yours, his hands were also far larger. It caused a small smile across your lips.

"I spent most of my childhood lonely too." He admitted, his eyes never leaving your hands. "My parents were either ignoring me or too busy to hear me."

You remember the stories about them, but you didn't want to cross the line and ask him. This conversation you and the king of Alderaan were currently having was something that already cross rule number three; never mention his parents. So this caught you off guard.

Probably noticing your tense posture, Kylo's eyes shifted to yours; they held such a curious yet comforting gaze, as if this was his attempt to say "it's okay" without actually saying those two words. The moon behind him made him seem like an angel.

"I know how you feel." He assured you calmly. You were so lost in his eyes, so lost in the way they stared at you. "You can talk to me."

If you could preserve this moment, you would. You'd keep it close to your heart and protect it from all darkness in the galaxy. The mighty and mysterious Kylo Ren, former prince and now king of Alderaan, just opened his heart to you and pronounced those five words that you had never been told before.

You hoped this wasn't a dream. It'd break your soul if it was.

"Do you dance?" Upon your sudden question, Kylo raised an eyebrow. You got up from your seat and twirled around, loving the way your dress moved. "Will you dance with me?"

Even if his lips didn't move, his eyes expressed all the emotions you needed. They were like a calm ocean, or the rising sun in a early morning.

"My lady," He politely offered you his hand, once more. "It would be my pleasure."

You smiled, the most genuine smile you'd had in a long time. Your heart was filled with joy and excitement, hopefully it wouldn't jump out of your chest by the way it was beating so fast. Faster than the way you rushed to the coronation. You never felt like this for someone, no, and definitely not for him.

His moves were calculated, but so tender-hearted and light. He twirled you around again and kept you close to his chest, one hand on your waist and another one guiding your other hand. At this point, you weren't even worried about making the wrong turn or stepping your foot on his. No, no, it was like your body was no longer your own, but knew perfectly which steps to take and you were glad for that.

In your mind, you imagined dancing like this with Kylo in the middle of a royal ballroom, but it was only you two. With or without music, it didn't matter, you and Kylo were too busy staring at each other's eyes to notice any background sound.

You had no idea how long you two had been dancing, but it ended so quickly.

"May I ask you something?" He asked in a strange, low voice.

"Of course, anything." You stepped a bit away from him once the dance came to an end.

Kylo traced lines alongside your hand, back and forth, and another hand came to meet your cheek as he slowly caressed it.

"Will you marry me?"

Oh dear stars.

Everything stopped around you, at least that's what you felt. You didn't even know what to say or do. Maybe, just maybe, the universe was finally showing you your destiny. That you were worthy of something just like Rey is.

The king of Alderaan had just asked you to marry him, and there was only one answer available to your heart.

You laughed and smile, nodding in happiness, "Yes!"

The ballroom was still full, everybody seemed to be having a great time just like you. Palpatine was nowhere to be seen, but Rey was seen talking to Duke Pryde and some others you assumed were also trading partners. Poor thing, a part of you felt guilty she had to spend her party talking to them. She didn't look happy. But maybe the news you're about to give her will make it up. That's what you hoped for.

Moving through the crowd as you held Kylo's hand had already got you lots of side-eyes and surprised gasps and whispers. This will entertain them for a very long time, and you didn't even try to hide your smile. Why would you? You're the most happy person in this room right now, and you were not going to hide your emotions again.

"Rey! I mean, your Majesty, may I speak to you, please?"

She nodded, excusing herself from the boring companies, and followed you to a more empty space of the room.

"I, I mean, we'd like to ask for your blessing on," You and Kylo looked at each other for a brief moment, "on our marriage!"

Rey almost chocked on her drink and quickly put it down on a table.

"Ma,Marriage?" You nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm quite confused here."

"Well, I know it's a bit of a sudden, and we haven't planned the ceremony, but it could happen here! Just like mother and father's wedding." You chuckled innocently at the thought of it.

"If Your Majesty doesn't mind it, of course." At this comment, that you didn't spare a thought, Rey furrowed her brows at Kylo in a angry stance and dismissed him completely.

"We could invite everyone in the kingdom! We could get so many songs to play and the decoration, oh I'll need to talk with Yvir." You put your hands on your hips, going through a mental list of preparatives for the wedding. You couldn't wait to tell Yvir.

"(Y/N)-"

"Oh stars, I hope you don't mind if Kylo stays here until the wedding! I'll need a few days to plan everything-"

"Absolutely not! (Y/N)!"

You stopped, her loud voice kicking all thoughts you previously had. Kylo, next to you, stared at her with indifference, like this somehow didn't even surprise him.

Rey inhaled calmly, "With all due respect, your Majesty, but my sister can't marry a man she just met."

"What? You can't decide that for me, Rey. I'm an adult, just like you." You crossed your arms, eyebrows furrowed just like hers. Your sister's expression turned to a more uncomfortable one, and you had no idea why this was making her be like that.

"(Y/N), you're too young to know about love."

"And I suppose you know instead? All you ever did was shut everyone out. You shut me out."

All the eyes in the room were now on you three, this time not even a single whisper was heard. Even more silent than the gardens. Rey shifted uncomfortably on her feet, moving her fingers repeatedly, a panicked gaze on her eyes.

"(Y/N)-"

"Just why, why do you do this? Why did you shut me out? What are you so afraid of?" Unlikely and unexpected, you screamed at her, only to regret it the moment that sentence left your mouth. But it was too late.

"That's enough, (Y/N)!"

A rash strong blow sent Kylo flying across the room. Hadn't it been for Kylo placing himself as a shield in front of you, you knew that was intended for you.

"That's the force." Somebody said.

"She's a Jedi!"