#I feel like I'm constantly sleep deprived lmao

[clinicallyinsanedumpsterrabbit]

Yeah I'm joining the Bill has paws and wears gloves club, along with my own very little silly headcannon

His paws, and a lot of his powers, are blue because he takes after his mom, Scaline. I'm pretty sure the fandom has agreed she was the blue one and the mom, but I am also an idiot.

And that's another reason he wears the gloves! Because his paws kinda look like his dead mom! Yippie!

Also have a bonus silly with spring, I wanted to draw Bill in pain.

Spring doesn't mind carrying him around, but will not be treated like a horse

Happy crinkle, I'm eating all the sweets of everyone who reads this sentence, I cannot be stopped, I am approaching rapidly.

[mercymaker]

i just want to sleep and rest and not have all this tummy pain

[amourningcrow]

some thoughts on the lucanis romance. caution! spoilers

you know, i've seen a lot of people complaining about how lucanis's romance is somewhat lacking and i agree, at least a little - i can't say i enjoy the scene where you lock in his romance (could have been a banter) and i honestly didn't get that it was supposed to be a 'i'm scared of wanting you' kind of romance until the end where he actually said that (i was constantly sleep deprived while playing though, so maybe that one's on me) - but i don't really think more scenes were really necessary. i loved the last one and the one in the middle was also pretty good, even though i didn't like how scripted it was.

what i really, really miss in this are the party banters. you know, like the one with alistair and wynne, where she teases him about checking out the warden?

imagine for a moment: davrin and lucanis

'they're fine.'

'i- what?'

'they're fine. you keep staring at their legs, but the venatori barely even graced them. you can stop checking every time they climb up a rock or bend to pick something up.'

'of course! i was checking on their injury! that damn venatori, nearly got them, huh?'

... (awkward silence)

'right.'

oooor maybe taash and lucanis?

'you're not being subtle, you know'

'excuse me?'

'saw you sneaking in with rook's favourite food yesterday.'

'so? i make everyone's favourite every once in a while.'

'not in the middle of the night just after they tell you, you don't'

... (stony silence)

'yeah'

ooooor i dunno, harding and lucanis?

'lucanis?'

'hmmm?'

'it would be okay, you know. if you liked someone and told them how you feel. hypothetically.'

'what? what are you talking about?'

'nothing. i just... thought someone should tell you.'

'mierda, harding, there's no one like that. so this is completely irrelevant.'

'hmhm, sure. but in theory, if there was... i'm pretty sure they like you, too. and you both deserve to be happy.'

i'm obviously not a writer, but i really think some stuff like that would have helped to set up the romance more. i tried so desperately to look through the game and find something, and maybe i just haven't discovered it yet! but the few banters i did find were all after the relationship was officially established. i don't know. i'm really disappointed because i think the potential was there, it could have been such a sweet, angsty slow-burn but they just.. didn't set it up right? the yearning™ feeds on other people seeing exactly what is going on and rolling their eyes at the idiots involved not getting on with it (/getting it on lmao). maybe something like that was planned but they had to cut it because all the companions had to get their 'making it official' chat at the same time? and pretty late in the game, too. that would sort of explain why his relationship with neve was more fleshed out as well. idk. that and my added frustration that i can't really roleplay my rook the way i want (in my roleplaying game) probably means i'll just have to write some stuff myself. and wait for someone to search through the audio files so i can get my grubby raccoon hands on all the banter i didn't hear yet 🤞

[theoutcastedartist]

Hello! My friends and I discovered your Shadow Light AU tonight and I just have to tell you that we are INSTANTLY obsessed with this! We love it so much!! I personally have been screaming about how tired Sonic looks (my poor boy) and what is the significance of the 17??? 👀👀👀

I don't know if you still plan on returning to this AU, but we'll be very happy if you do! (I saw the asks where you said you'd gotten into LMK which, valid. Me and a few of my friends love LMK too!) Anyway, I hope you have a wonderful day!

(Also your art style is absolutely AMAZING. Tails looks absolutely adorable and I love the way you draw Sonic!!)

hello! Sorry it took so long to FINALLY answer this XD

Haven't really checked my inbox in a minute imma be real. But I'm very glad to hear you and your friends have been liking the AU (despite it having been in an indefinite hiatus lmaooo) the AU **MIGHT** be coming back if my current returned interest in sonic stays for long enough. If I do decide to bring it back I'll make a post officially announcing it.

and yeah my AU boom!sonic is a very sleep deprived little guy.

The significance of "17", if I remember correctly (it's been a minute since I've thought of the more intricate details of this AU) for sonic is that he was Dr. Thorndyke's 17th (and last) attempt at Project Light (who is a scientific experiment created with the goal of harnessing the powers of one of the Halves of Solaris, known as Iblis the Flame)

Project Shadow on the other hand, is the one and only of himself (the ultimate lifeform) whose original creation under Gerald Robotnik was, like Project Light, meant to harness the powers of one of the two halves of Solaris, his being Mephiles the dark.

The Bio lizard and the Chaos clones were part of a failed abandoned project of trying to harness the God powers of recreating Chaos themselves.

Iblis and Mephiles are some of the gods the Ancients worshipped before the collapse of their old civilization, the two are quite literally halves of a bigger God (Solaris, who does not have a design in the AU yet).

It's important to remember in this AU that despite the two being created within the same facility/on ARK, they are not related by blood at all.

Shadow still retains his black arms DNA (with a twist) and was created by Gerald and his team,

Sonic's DNA is that of one of the preserved remains of one of the royal children from the collapse of the Ancients, and he was created by Thorndyke and his team

(and he and Gerald had very... Clashing views on the ethics/morals of how they treated their respective creations.)

Dr. Thorndyke was not a nice man, from the few interactions shadow and maria had with him. He was a very secretive man when it came to any version of Project Light. They didn't even meet our Project Light - ver. 17 (who we all know as Sonic) until 3 years before shit hit the fan - to say the least.

Shadow, while being in stasis for 50 yrs had his memories slightly tampered with, while he remembers most of ARK, he does not remember sonic (but feels unusually drawn to him for some unexplainable reason) and Sonic had been accidentally sent 50yrs into the future instead, but unlike shadow he has lost all of his memories on ARK - poor blue couldn't even remember his own name (dubbed 'Little Light' by Maria) and was largely mute until he met Tails and Co. His name "Sonic" technically came from Eggman, constantly referring to him as a "SuperSONIC nuisance" lmao

But yeah thanks for sending this ask! Even if it's been a minute ToT

[banner-on-vacation]

After the events of Age Of Ultron, Bruce Banner managed to transform back into a human- scared shitless and afraid of what The Avengers (and himself) would become. The man still commandeered a Quinjet, but with an active mind, Hulk not in control. In the height of the moment, Bruce needed to leave, where to?

The Bahamas, baby!

Banner currently resides in a safe house right on the outskirts of a prestigious beach resort, buried in research. When he's not spiraling into madness, Bruce is either drowning in fruity bar drinks, walking the vast beach, learning how to surf (and failing continuously), or feeling oddly homesick of Avengers Tower.

[ collage made by yours truly! ]

Mod, RP Info, & Bruce's Bio Under Cut

Hey there! Welcome to the blog, y'all can call me Randy :) I'm twenty and use he/him pronouns, and I'm soooo normal about Marvel.

What This Blog Is About

I am filled with brainworms and a desire to have Bruce Banner interact with some fun fellows! I am aware of the shitpost potential this blog gives me, and I am going to use it to the best of my ability.. while also sprinkling some good angst. Feel free to reach out and interact, whether it just be a question, or you're intrigued and want to roleplay! Feel free, I promise I don't bite >:) OCs as well as crossovers are welcomed (and of course, Marvel characters).

DNI

Pretty easy, I'd like to keep this 18+ since there's the potential of drunken posts and possible NSFW themes! Other than that, absolutely no bigotry of any kind is allowed, and proshippers please find other blogs to interact with!

Tags

#[ bar rambles ]- Bruce just speaking

#[ seagull calls ]- Bruce answering asks

#[ headache and a half ] - Bruce interacting with blogs!

#[ walking along the beach ] - Roleplays, open ones as well as responses

[Will Be Added To When I Remember More Lmao]

Other Blogs I Write For

@quicksilver-in-the-cosmos

@shields-suspicious-intern

Name: Bruce Banner

The Man, Without The Beast

Age: Currently 28

Gender & Pronouns: Cisman, He/Him

Sexuality: Gay In Denial

Home Universe: 616

Relationships: He's out of contact with pretty much all the Avengers by this point, too anxious to call or text- much less fly over to see them in person. And yet misses them dearly. No longer in contact with his parents either, far past that- although he thinks about his parents' deaths often, the brief flicks of memories.

Current Appearance: Banner constantly has a 5 o'clock shadow, although he tries to keep his face tidy. His eyes are sunken from a constant state of sleep deprivation, hair usually a state of disaster. He tends to wear Hawaiian shirts and various shades of khaki pants.

[thalwhore]

Homesick

Once again writing for skyrim followers lmao, been rotating this idea in my mind since I picked Gore up in Rashiids save. Inspired by the fact that Gore is around his brother, Ja'Rojaros age!

The lad belongs to @goredev and you should absolutely go download him👀

"Blood, if somethings bothering you, you know you can tell me, right?"

The constant tossing and turning of the Pahmar was growing irritating, constantly in Gore's sightlines and paired with the rustling of the fabric.

Rashiid sighs, sitting up in his bedroll. "Just restless is all, this one is sorry if he has disturbed you."

"Hey, I'm supposed to be on watch anyway, you're hardly disturbing much- well, maybe the bugs nearby."

The khajiit huffs a laugh at the comment, shifting over to make room in the (admittedly quite small for him) bedroll as Gore takes a seat beside him.

"So, what is it? I'd like to think I know your usual restlessness well enough, and this? Its nothing like that, blood."

"I am that transparent? It is a good thing this one has no interest in subterfuge, or in card games, for that matter."

There's a silence between them as Rashiid mulls over his thoughts, the campfire crackling nearby as his tail gently thumps on the dirt.

"It is...rather embarrassing, this one must admit. I...I miss my brother."

"That's nothin to be embarrassed about, he's your blood. And from the way you've talked to me about him, you two sound close." Gore responds, leaning on the Khajiits large shoulder, basking in the warmth. "I think you might be homesick too, from the looks of things. You look at the caravans leaving like a kicked puppy- or, kitten, I guess?"

"It is family this one misses more than anything." He laments. "The caravans are their own families, and this one misses his- Mother, Father, brother, sister. Even our distant relatives who came to visit." Rashiid recalls. "Our home was always full of life and noise, a crying kitten, a drunk aunt, the purring of my siblings in their sleep. Now...the wilds of Skyrim do not have the same feeling to them."

Gore turns to look at him, having to raise his head just to lock eyes. "We can start staying at inns if you'd like? We make plenty on the road, 10 gold a night is hardly much for some comfort and peace of mind."

"No- I would not deprive you of the wilds, this one does not mind, truly-"

"Nonsense! Besides, I'd be lying if I said I enjoyed getting rained on most nights- or waking up to a spider in my lap, or a snail leaking goop into our packs, or-"

"Alright, alright. Your point has been made."

Gore can't help but chuckle at him. "Is that really what's been bothering you? That it's too quiet outside?"

"It is part of it, yes."

"What's the other part?"

Rashiid balls the bedroll in his fists, the mood suddenly a lot less light.

"This one misses sleeping beside his brother. Rojaro was never very brave, so he would always sneak away from his bed during the night and join me- it chased the nightmares away, he said." The Khajiit sighs at the memory. "Eventually we just shared the bed all the time. He was like a very long stuffed animal, and Rashiid...it just feels wrong, to not have him here. It feels as if with my arms free, I am no longer able to protect him."

Gore looks down in thought, brows furrowing.

"It is stupid, this one knows. Like I said, y-"

"I could start sleeping with you."

Rashiid looks bewildered, taken aback by the statement.

"Not like that- you dirty cat!" Gore jokes, playfully slapping his arm. "I mean like you and your brother did. Its hardly new for grown men to sleep together for warmth, and I...I trust you, blood. I know it's not really been that long, but I know you'd never do anythin bad to me in a position like that."

"You...you are really offering such a thing?"

"Why not? If it helps you sleep at night, I'm all for it. And we're going to start sleeping at inns anyway, so it's not like I'll need to stand guard anymore."

"I...this one would like that, if you are sure about it?"

"I'm positive. Besides, who would pass up a free, fur blanket that hugs back?"

"Do not push it."

[emerson-grimes-apologist]

Some messy Tarantula Crew headcanons/thoughts I posted on Discord but will also post here:

THADE --doesn't have a natural sense of what colors go well together and which ones clash, and also just really loves all colors, so he used to dress really gaudily, until people bullied him about it. now he just wears black and white. --always looks 2 minutes away from dying. this is just how he looks normally.

LILLIAN --i don't really have anything interesting to say about her lmao. like i love her, i love feral women, i like to draw her and put her in situations, but i don't really have any headcanons off the top of my head RED MARY --the crew calls her red --smokes and has a gravelly smoker's voice (which was also probably caused by the smoke of all the fires she sets) --her personality is a pain to develop, let me tell you. i keep feeling like she's too similar to my version of skin-taker (not being outright hateful and just killing bc she enjoys it and doesn't see it as wrong) BOAR --this was inspired by how the wiki used to say that the hogs crew's captain (who is possibly supposed to be the same guy as boar) was twice as tall as the other puppets. i headcanon him to be between 6'10" and 7' tall. maybe taller... --a very wholesome guy. but don't mistake his kindness for weakness, and don't mistake his optimism for stupidity --was a proper sailor before joining the crew. possibly a merchant sailor or a whaler. he's the most knowledgeable about nautical stuff. SCHOT --he got caught by the navy at some point in his past. the scars on his face are from the earl of wax's clawed torture glove. (my interp of him has 5 scars across the whole width of his face and not just his eyes) --he was a high-ranking member of the red-handed jacks (green gregory's crew, and also the most feared pirate crew of the time), which is why earl came after him so hard. earl was also the one to target and kill his wife. --he's blind in one eye (from earl torturing him), so when he shoots, he doesn't have to close one eye, so it seems as though he's just staring into the soul of whoever he's shooting DR. MORT --he doesn't have eyelids so he just constantly stares at people. --he's immune to sleep deprivation because he used to have a very demanding career as both a head surgeon at candle cove's hospital and a main contributor in cc's medical academia. like he can sleep for 3 hours and feel well-rested. --unsophisticated frenchman representation. he owns like 3 outfits total, smells musty 24/7, and is banned from the kitchen because one time he thought lemons and oranges were interchangeable in recipes CONEA --i have nothing really interesting to say about him tbh. i wish i was less bored by him, but he's just kinda... there. --he has long luxurious hair and it makes him look like a male model. TALAPIO --i mentioned this before, but i hc her to have been just a normal (but weirdly big) spider before she got light magic. her previous owner was a light magician who gave her their powers on their deathbed. --she's another one of those characters who i definitely think has potential but i'm weirdly not that invested in. i should think about her more. it's pretty interesting, to think what it would have been like to go from having a bug's intelligence to being smarter than any human... BONUS! THE UNNAMED COOK --her name is gwen and she's a no-bullshit old welsh lady --that's it. i only think about her like, once a year.

[drabbles-mc]

I do not know if you are still during the dirty headcannons (or when they even started because I just ran across the one you did for Gilly and completely blacked out) but I would love to see what your little gremlin brain can some up with for Y for Miguel or EZ. Whomever, really. I know I am not going to be ready, but I will welcome it either way. I love you.

the way that there is never really an end date to any ask game i reblog because i'll always reply no matter how late you send it 😂 plus let's be real @darqchilddaydreamz let that shit sit and collect some interest before she came bursting into my inbox with that so we're all on this journey together now lmao

thoughts under the cut for: Y - Yes, Master (what kinds of names are used during sex? do they like being called master / mistress, daddy, etc…? what names do they call their partner?)

perhaps someone should take my laptop and entire tumblr account away from me because the actual first thing that popped into my head when i read this in regards to Miguel was that that man should be happy that i call him anything let alone something he prefers 😂😂 but that's a me problem. just because i deem him unfuckable doesn't mean that he is lmao

but! on a more serious note. i do think that Miguel is the kind of guy who is very into the whole "Sir" thing. he's on that power trip constantly and we both know that it won't end just because he's in the bedroom. and while in my head he doesn't use any petnames for his girl that are particularly out of the ordinary, i do think that the tone in which he says those pet names are really what sets the whole mood. i think that a majority of the time they aren't really said with affection as much as they are said like a taunt. that's the game he's looking to play. nine times out of ten he wants someone to stroke his ego and if you want to do that by calling him Sir then he won't say no.

howeverrrrr that one other time out of ten????? i think that the right woman would most definitely be able to flip that dynamic on its head. a man with a complex like the one he's got??? the second someone is able to get him into submission mode it is game over. you could taunt and coo and call him baby as patronizingly as you want but if you had him in the right headspace for it he'd still be falling over himself to do whatever it is that you want. as he should be. 😌

Ezekiel on the other hand??? look. we all know. we all know I'm a mess and I'm biased about this man and i simply cannot be stopped. we all know this. but. in terms of things that i haven't already written or blown your dms up about...i have had....a thought or two in my time...

thoughts like i knooow this man has slipped up and called his girl "mommy" without meaning to before. that man has all that trauma and all those repressed feelings. he is a posterchild for it. and the first time it happens he doesn't mean to but once he says it, it's not like he can just take it back. he doesn't mean to say it and he definitely doesn't expect it to be something that feels good after the initial three seconds of panic after he said it. but he did and it does and then it's something that he now knows about himself.

and it's never an accident after that. it's not a constant though either. it happens when he feels like everything is falling apart or out of control and he needs to feel like he's the one being taken care of for once instead of being the one taking care of people. and he's soft and he's needy and he's never really let go of control like that before.

ANYWAY. if you ever find yourself wondering what's going on in the recesses of my little gremlin brain. there's a tiny little slice of it for you. 😂 we out here sleep-deprived and full of thots 😂😂

Dirty Headcanon Game

[chimchiri]

Important question! (For me anyway) How did you figure out your design for Harrow? Specifically facial features and, I guess, body type/shape etc. I adore your Harrow and Nona so much and I just wanna know your thoughts about their appearance cause you draw them so beautifully and just nice. It's nice.

You can info-dump if you want, I wouldn't mind, it's pretty helpful for my brain actually.

Anon you're so sweet but you're making me embarrassed since I'm actually somewhat insecure about my Harrow lmao. For one I think she's very basic (though I also think that fits her) but I also sometimes struggle to draw her consistently and how I imagine her in my head. But let me actually answer your question! Some details in random order:

Even during the first read it stuck to me how Gideon described her face as narrow and pointy, so I like to accentuate her cheekbones. And while reading Nona I found it curious how she's described to be have a beautiful body/face in the eyes of others - which made me think she's probably a lot more feminine and pretty than she was initially described by Gideon.

Her whole demeanor, slow movement, and intimidating nature just come across in a feminine way. Something that's always in the back of my mind when I doodle her. She reminds me of a cheetah in a way - not a lot of movement, careful planning and observation, still incredibly intimidating. And then the final strike comes swiftly and in one brutal attack. (Honestly girl is just one mean and insecure kitten)

I also love a high hairline/big forehead for her. No reference for that, I just like the visual of it and how it fits together!

Her hair has been described in so many different ways. And while I love a buzz cut on her, I always adored how GtN described her hair stuck to her forehead and neck. Meaning that it's probably a bit longer late in the book. I always imagined her having rather stubborn (not to say cute) cowlicks? Wavy hair? I love to think her hair is a wavy mess when longer hehe

As for her body, I only see her as a weak stick (which is why I can't take the Nova AU serious). For one, the Ninth clearly don't have resources for a balanced diet. And in addition, Harrow again and again showed no desire for food other than it being a necessity to survive. She simply doesn't value a tasty meal (unlike Gideon). I can't quite remember if it was explicitly written but if not, I definitely see her as a person to forget to eat regularly - especially when she's in an obsessive learning streak. She's also probably constantly dehydrated and doesn't feel thirsty usually.

Lastly - she's chronically sleep-deprived so of course she needs either an angry or tired look lmao

[blockgamepirate]

I hate to say it but I think I might just drop QSMP for good regardless of what happens with the changes

Since I stopped keeping up with QSMP I've just been so much happier and I've had so much more time and energy for other things and been able to sleep better and keep a more normal sleep schedule (I mean sometimes I'm still up late, such as right now lol, but it's not constantly so, and not quite as late)

Like it just takes so much time and so much effort to keep up with livestreamed series like this, even when you're not even trying to watch absolutely everyone. I had the same struggles with DSMP at its peak (although at least on DSMP the events were usually at a slightly Europe-friendlier time so I wasn't losing quite as much sleep over it)

(I'm in Eastern European Time so I'm an hour ahead of even the French and two hours ahead of the Brits; if I watched anyone but morning crew (and sometimes even they keep going past my bedtime) it was sleep deprivation hours for me)

I mean I know that's mostly my own fault for getting so fixated and not being able to stop watching streams when I'm supposed to go to sleep but yknow, sometimes you gotta recognise that something is just not working for you and maybe it's better to just avoid it rather than expecting your own reactions to change, especially since I know I'm a natural nightowl anyway

I feel so much better now and I've gotten so much more done, I feel like I've just kicked an addiction or something lmao

I really did love the concept and the characters and the storylines and especially the multilingual stuff... but I'm only now realising just how bad it really was for me. I mean I knew it was bad but I think I was kind of in denial because I didn't wanna quit

[urproblematicfav-arsonk]

(Different anon, CW for discussion of rape)

Stella raped Stolas, willingly and on purpose. While I have zero disagreements that she is also a victim of the arranged marriage and all the culture surrounding all that, some of your points (which were mostly good points, I feel the need to preface this with the fact that you and I are very much in agreement about what Stolas has done wrong) seemed to suggest, at least to me, that she causes less harm to Stolas that she does to her. Like when you bring up how Stolas yells at her and how that's not okay, I think it's really important to acknowledge that she is his abuser, and he is reacting to her active abuse of him. She throws and breaks things, she constantly berates him in front of their daughter, she plotted his literal murder in front of her too, she bragged about raping him at the "still not divorced" party, she physically assaults him, she downplays his emotions and his trauma, and so on. That's just what we see on-screen. I don't think it's abusive for Stolas to have a strong reaction to that.

All of your other points, totally agree with. And it's very possible that I've misinterpreted your thoughts/words regarding Stella (I am basing this ask off a single post of yours, while sleep deprived, so I acknowledge that I may have missed or misinterpreted something). As a victim of domestic abuse, I just felt the need to share my thoughts about their dynamic. And if we disagree that's okay too!

Either way, thank you for your points regarding Stolas and Octavia. You're the only other person I've seen who even touches on that, and it was oddly refreshing. I had similar thoughts but always felt brushed aside when I said something in a discord server about it. 100+ people there and not one seemed to agree about it

I love that you need to preface ranting about Stella with me being right about Stolas lmao.

Anyway, put this off because I was already really tired and worked up over the previous anon I got about this at 5am, and then life stuff was STRESSING ME THE FUCK OUT, and then I went on a collectively 40 hour bus trip to Ohio. Got busy, and didn't care enough about this lmao.

But I'm back now. And eating cheesecake so I'm in a mood to rant without being agitated.

I'm not a Stella "apologist" in the sense that I think she did nothing wrong. But I do think she was robbed as a character (and subsequently Georgina Leahy, who was completely fucking wasted as an actor)

I'm not saying what Stella does isn't abuse or rape. But Stella being a rapist, doesn't make Stolas NOT a rapist lmao. And also, the sentiment that Stella is this evil, awful bad bad WOMAN who causes all the problems, unlike pure baby Stolas is both basically canon and also what 90% of the fandom believes in.

And I'm a fucking contrarian and also unlike Viv, actually believe in Inside Of Every Demon Is A Rainbow, and that everyone deserves empathy and the chance to be better.

One of the big problems with Hazbin/Helluva as a concept, is that it doesn't believe in that.

Characters like Stella, or Valentino, or any character that does something worse than a misdemeanor are immediately, both by the text and fandom, completely written off as Broken and Unredeemable.

Genuinely, what does this scene say? What am I, the audience supposed to take away from this, what bit of valuable character development am I learning from this view of Stella?

It's that she's been like this from the start. She was always bad. There's no point helping her, or wanting her to get better. You see, she was like.......that, even when she was a kid! So really its her fault she's like this.

Stella and Stolas are both products of a patriarchal, sexist society where rape and abuse is expected. They were both set up to fail. That were both groomed to think behaving like this is normal and fine.

There's a way to make Stella a villian and an antagonist without it just reeking of misogyny. She doesn't feel like a well rounded character, with goals and thoughts. She's just a Horrible Woman who makes Man sad. And with the added problem of Stolas participating in sex trafficking, abusing his daughter, and just his all around classisim and racisim, it makes it seem like Stella is only bad because she's mean and not because those things are bad.

HH/HB has a SERIOUS problem with framing abuse(usually sexual??) as Fine and Okay as long as the person doing it is One Of The Good Ones. Val isn't sad or sympathetic, he's scary, so when he's sexually violent it's not only expected, but the most groundbreakingly evil thing he could do and we should kill him and remove him from the story immediately. Angel is sad, and we like him, so his sexual violence is okay because he didn't mean it like that, he's just making a mistake, it's a story about growing after all.

Same goes for Stella and Stolas.

As for Stella being the "abuser", I don't necessarily disagree. But abuse is complicated and especially when dealing with something like marriage or close relationships in general, it can get messy on strict titles like that. People rarely ever stay in one neat box of The Bad One, and The Good One. They can be terrible to each other at the same time, and both suck for it.

We don't really know a whole lot about their past together, however its a patriarchy, and Stolas is the patriarch. No matter what, he has automatic superiorly over her. He's educated, he's a prince, he has the grimoire. Stella was more or less given to him. At the very least, at the start it was probably closer to a mutual abuse/rape situation where neither of them wanted it but Stolas had a duty and Stella was required to participate.

I don't think Stolas' outbursts against her put him in the wrong because he isn't being nice enough about being traumatized. But with everything else happening, it feels hollow and like poor writing. The narrative is just hyper focusing on how much Stolas is suffering because of this society, and then immediately writing Stella off as evil because she evil with no awareness. It's boring. It's dumb. It's disappointing.

Stella exists as a character to make Stolas seem more pathetic and relatable, she's barely even a person. You see his shitty behavior and go "well, look at his wife and everything, of course he's kinda weird sometimes. it's not his fault."

And I think Stolas yelling at Stella is less about their abuse to each other, and how doing that in front of Octavia is bad for her. This divorce is already hard on her, and having to deal with that kind of household sucks. They could keep the fighting under wraps more.

I'm like, a harcore Valangel redemption arc believer, where they can move on from the abuse and mess of their relationship and find a way to reconcile and be civil. And I think Stella and Stolas could've had that too.

They could realize how its less about how much they hate each other, and more the expectations and trauma forced onto them since they were babies. They could bond over how much they don't want Octavia to be another cycle of that. Stella's murder attempt could be about her trying to secure her station in life, keep her image in public, make sure she has the power to give her daughter a slightly better life. Stella could face how fucking awful she is, and find a way to show that she wants to change but she feels trapped. Stolas doesn't want to be there, Stella doesn't want to be there, let them bitches work together. Fuck it, make the public divorce a scam to make one of them look better so it goes faster.

I'm not even actually anti Stolas, I actually liked him for most of the show until shit started really falling apart recently. I just want a timeline where the writing in this show isn't awful and all the characters have real, nuanced arcs. It's just so boring and stupid.

[thestobingirlie]

i was randomly assaulted by the tiktok rockstar eddie au for the first time in months and it was about how when eddie can't sleep he wakes steve up (by pinching his nose which i dislike greatly considering oxygen deprivation is another fucking seizure trigger) so steve will nap w him the next day. and the thing is sleep (and esp sleep deprivation) is literally one of the biggest triggers for epilepsy/seizures. like it can not only trigger seizures but also make them longer and more intense. not to mention i'm like 60% sure steve's neurological issues have been connected to sleep/sleep-walking post seizure explicitly in this series. i have epilepsy and consistently across multiple doctors the number one thing they've said to me is to make sure i have a consistent sleep schedule and get enough sleep. there is no way if steve has been receiving treatment for a long time he and eddie would not be aware of this. i will just never understand how ppl can make eddie that much of a dick in these fics.

oh my god, that au is sickening lmao

the fact that eddie is just outright abusing steve and it’s played for laughs? dude is causing seizures, mocking steve for his behaviour post brain damage, broadcasting steve’s very personal business, and constantly filming him to the point that steve (in the au!!!) says he feels like he lives in the truman show. i mean, what??

who even are these people?

get steve outta there!!! don’t do that to my girl. why are all of the other characters just watching this play out? save him!

[fadingreveries]

Bridgerton S1E4: "An Affair of Honour" | Thoughts

❝ Daphne receives a stunning gift from Prince Friedrich but soon courts scandal at a ball. Eloise searches for clues to Lady Whistledown's identity. ❞

After nearly an eternity of procrastinating between school and work... I finally get the chance to watch Bridgerton. I’m so looking forward to watching the new season and keep seeing spoilers all over the internet. When will it be my turn to be fangirling over Kanthony and Polin? 😩 It might be a while at the rate I’m watching these episodes…

Find my reactions to other episodes of Bridgerton here and to episodes from other TV shows here! 🐝

LMAO Violet Bridgerton is me when I’m hungry and don’t want to make it obvious

Oh, to be a girl having a prince tell me I'm perfection... can't relate

Dang, someone seems to be taking out his anger too much on the punching bag… 👀

Me remembering that we will have to wait at least a year before season 4:

Me when the dentist and hygienists pressure me to get braces or invisalign every single time I have an appointment knowing dang I do not have $8000 just sitting in my pocket that I would rather use to pay student loans:

Side note: some of these gif reactions are more relatable to me than everyone else, but a girl's gotta rant one way or another and why not have it here on Tumblr with Bridgerton gifs 😪

I live for stolen glances across the room, especially in slow-burn romance but I get the feeling Simon and Daphne's story doesn't necessarily follow this

Daphne, your thirstiness is showing 🤔 The second the sleeves get pushed up and the arm veins pop out, miss ma'am's jaw hits the ground like she isn't right beside the prince of Prussia

Not Simon jealously staring at Daphne and the prince thinking "tHaT sHoUlD bE mE, hOlDiNg YoUr HaNd"

Another side note, can we talk about how shy and smiley Benedict is? The fact that he scrunches up his face and closes his eyes just cringing about the critique he gave is actually kind of adorable

I like that Violet and Lady Danbury are basically the ones pushing Simon and Daphne to realize their feelings for each other... mothers know best in their case

I've recently started reading The Duke and I and I think I can start to see the differences between the show and the book. For starters, I don't remember Simon breaking off the agreement between him and Daphne making them fight? I thought it was something they continued in the book, even letting Anthony know the whole thing was a ruse for their own benefits. Second, I don't remember there being a prince in the book? Were these just added to the show to add more tension?

PLEASE not Mama Bridgerton downing her entire champagne flute just begging Simon to pop his head into the ballroom to save Daphne

HAHAHA omg I'm so sleep-deprived that I seriously thought Violet was the opera singer beside Anthony's side chick

Excuse me Polin, I saw that lingering gaze... 👀

"I aM mArRyInG tHe PrInCe" oh is that why you twirled away from him every single chance he tried to propose or is that playing hard to get? 🤔

Okay unpopular opinion, but am I the only one who would accept Prince Friedrich's proposal? Like sweet, kind, wants to start a family, showers you with compliments. I feel like he would not be hard to love and you wouldn't have to constantly second-guess yourself, your values and what you want out of life with him

I don't remember them fighting like this with their kiss in the gardens?

Now Anthony bursting into the scene and landing a nice right-hook on Simon... that I remember very well. Hehe.

Simon is so hot-cold?? 😠 that kind of drives me nuts! you tell her you're not friends, the next you're taking it back. you apologize for kissing her, the next you're making out alone with her and groping her bum. you make her fall in love with you, then you tell her you can't ever marry knowing dang well she's ruined if people saw them kissing alone with no chaperone?? it just irritates me when people don't know what they want and at the expense of toying with others' feelings

I don't blame Anthony for being so overprotective and challenging Simon to a duel. I feel like if I were an older sibling in that era and someone refused to take responsibility for what they and my sibling engaged in, I'd be seething too

I've been spoiled already about the big reveal with Penelope in season 2, but I honestly can't help but feel for her? like imagine seeing the very real possibility that your childhood love gets married off to someone distant in your family and you have to pretend that you're okay the entire time just because you feel you're not good enough? but I will say the way she spat out that she isn't a pretty bridgerton was a little harsh

Anthony I love you, but I don't like how you coddle Daphne like she isn't her own woman

"Good God. Did someone die?" oh Colin, thank you for breaking the tension with your comic relief

These two rakes are so laughable, like please... reduce the context to a simple sentence... they are willing to die over a make-out session

The thing that annoys me is that Simon was willing to kiss Daphne and be seen privately with her in the garden while groping her everywhere, yet he still won't take responsibility for that after finding out that someone's seen them and Daphne's reputation will be ruined? like if he's saying he couldn't marry her, then don't kiss her in the first place?? I just don't get it

Um... what was that ending? I literally have no words. didn't realize you could put a stop to two rakes' pride by just announcing you'll marry one rake? confused

[madisonrooney]

two and a half months later and still making myself sick thinking about the legends ceremony /pos. dont see that ending any time soon. anyways.

see like. OBVIOUSLY i knew it was gonna take a toll on me but god...i didn't think it'd be this bad. but i think i'm starting to understand WHY it ended up being so much more intense than i expected.

for one thing, it's the only time ive seen miley and she wasnt like...the only reason i was there. ive seen her in concert twice and went to the launch event for her converse line. she was the main event at all three of those events. i went to the voice 9 times, and no, shes not the only attraction there, but she was the entire reason i went. had she not been a coach, i wouldnt have gone. the whole experience was fun dont get me wrong. i enjoyed the performers, the other coaches, etc. but its still an exhausting process that i wouldnt have gone through if not for her. not to mention shes present p much the entire time.

but in THIS case, its during d23, one of the biggest events of every 2 years of my life since 2013. and at the very END of it. they were like. hey. so you just had three overwhelming, exciting days full of your fandoms (PLUS d23 day at disneyland which was new) lets cap it all off with THIS. not to mention there were other legends i was excited to see too. and mileys part beginning and ending within like ten minutes was admittedly expected, but it still made it all the more difficult to process and wrap my head around.

they also WERENT GOING IN ANY SPECIFIC ORDER SO EVERY TIME SOMEONE WAS DONE I HAD TO MENTALLY PREPARE MYSELF. tbh im glad she was in the middle tho. having her at the beginning wouldve been overwhelming to start and had she been at the end i wouldve been like..stumbling out of the building lmao. the person who got awarded right after her was someone i didnt care too much about so i just got to black out for a bit. i almost needed to go in the hallway to cool down.

but like god. i fully dissociated during the best of both worlds performance like had to remind myself where i was, what i was doing, etc. likely at least partially due to my usual brain fog + sleep deprivation of d23 which almost always brings on dissociation, but also the surreal experience of hearing that song sung in that big of a venue...but also not by miley. (not that lainey wilson wasnt good, i just had to like...wrap my head around that yknow.)

i also ofc had the scare of getting my tix revoked. even once they said i was fine i was constantly paranoid something would happen and i wouldnt get to go. not even in that regard, bc i trusted that they fixed the problem, but that i would get sick or like SOMETHING would happen. and not getting to go wouldve like. destroyed me. in the weeks leading up to it i was literally knocking on wood constantly. like even at work. i was so panicked. i laugh a bit at it looking back but also like this is normal behavior coming from me lmao

i also thought it wouldnt overwhelm me as much as it did given that id seen her 12 times before, which is like...a lot to see this big of a celebrity. and 9 of those times were in a small lowkey setting for 3+ hours. so i thought "oh ive been normal around her before ill be ok :)" not thinking that had been 6+ years ago. the first 12 times i saw her were within just over 4 years, then 6 years went by without me seeing her at all, so that feeling in my brain of just seeing her casually was mostly gone. not to mention how much has happened in the last 6 years, namely quarantine.

i also had never seen her within the context of hannah before. not that she doesnt mean the world to me as herself, but hannah is really what saved me to begin with. so theres that.

anyway. if anything im glad its been more intense than expected bc im actually getting to feel something which i feel like ive been without for a while. and what im feeling is intense love for my favorite person, more intense than ive felt in years, so yah. it feels good.

[globodamorte]

I'm kinda pissed off.

(lmao had to put it under a cut bc it got LONG)

didne sleep well like usual woke up with my neck hurting and my mom screaming calling for me like and when I asked what she wanted she just said "come.downstairs and help me call your sibling" and like.ok IG God fucking damn I'm in pain ok call the sibling let's go downstairs idk what she wants and she was like "just help me. clean your room. clean the cats litter. just Do something..." and she started fuckin. telling my cousin how much she hates that we don't do things the exact moment she asks us. and how "wrongly" she raised us..while I'm fucking sleep deprived and in pain and generally exhausted. constantly.

and I'm trying my best but I can't say that bc I don't "DO" anything and therefore I basically "DON'T HAVE THE RIGHT" to be exhausted and if I'm in pain that's MY fault for being a sedentary fat bitch bc again I don't "DO" anything. and I KNOW she's upset about my weight bc she's said so before one time she got pissed and yelled at me and just HAD to mention how I'm just getting fatter at home without doing anything with my life. it doesn't even matter to her that I lost 5kg in a month all of a sudden if her old jeans can't fit me then I'm still too fat IG.

I'm in so much pain and every little thing is so fucking difficult for me and I'm so exhausted all the time and I can't mention it bc to her (or anyone for that matter) bc I'm "lazy". she decided I'm "not as depressed anymore so why am I being like this?". like I'm already stopped doing the thing my ent doctor asked bc it's just. too many things and I keep forgetting at the end of the day. I WANT to do it. but it's HARD. EVERYTHING IS SO HARD. but things CAN'T be hard for me bc I'm "intelligent and smart (<- had good grades in fucking. grade and middle school I guess)" I'm TRYING. but it doesn't matter to them. bc to them I'm not. to them I'm being lazy.

like idk i feel like it's so dishonest to compare me to a non (or let's be real, less) traumatized version of myself. like bitch yeah sure I was 10 and got good grades. I still dealt with bullying from my own "friends" and self image issues I couldn't tell my parents about. I had to hear sexist comments about my body when I was , FUCKING 10, and not being able to do anything about it bc the solution was just to exist differently I guess.

like ofc I understand that they can't see inside my head to fully understand but they don't even partially understand and I'm terrified of trying to explain. I'm trying my best. I really am. some days my best will be making food for everyone. some days my best will be showering and doing my skincare. some days it will be brushing my teeth at least once. and yeah some days it'll be nothing. but when I think about the way they see me I start feeling crazy "am I really trying? did I manage to trick myself? am I actually fine and just pretended so hard that now I think I'm actually ill"

i don't even know anymore. I'm exhausted.

it literally does not matter to them. if I stay out all day and come back and say I'm tired they be like "but you don't do anything" I realized it's almost an automated response from them (at least from my younger sibling it is) there was one time I did do a lot of things at home. in front of this sibling. and when I just sat down and went "oof I'm tired" they were like "but you didn't do anything" and I realized. it literally doesn't matter if I do or don't do anything they WILL say the same thing.

no matter what I do it really will never be enough for them. they just want me to magically not be mentally ill anymore. they will never say this, but what they want from me is basically that. I just need to stop "moping around", lose weight, get a job (which I do NOT feel capable of doing it maintaining), and be happy. easy right? it's not like I have a good reason to be like this (,they're the reason,) they dont want ME. they want the version of me inside their heads that honestly I don't. think ever existed. bc if I try going back to pinpoint the moment 'everything went wrong' I'll just keep going back forever bc there's no moment like that. I guess I just took longer to break but the thing is. now I'm broken.

[sw1mmingfoolz]

🍌 bananas 4 u - lee felix 🍌

requested? Y/N

genre: domestic fluff (they're baking together and having a ball), once again me getting overly poetic about little situations

content warnings: like one mildly dirty joke that kinda implies reader is an afab anatomy haver (but can be interpreted differently if you so choose, i have explained this poorly lol)

pairing: felix x reader

wc: 1.7k

a/n: my mouth n head still hurt from dental anaesthetic lol today was a busy day :') i baked banana bread and was inspired as always so i again wrote something insanely gooey and oddly poetic. is it the best thing i've ever written? no, but it is warm n fuzzy, and that's what i'm going for rn with my sore mouth and sleep deprived disposition lmao 😌 feedback is always very appreciated and encouraged, it keeps us writing after all! all the love 💞💞

Felix had to know you weren’t annoyed with him.

Cancelled plans were common; he was a busy guy after all. You didn’t really tend to see them as commitments anymore anyway - just ideas for ways you could spend the time together should he end up actually having any to spare. When he walked into the dimly lit living room and saw you curled up watching TV—enthralled face illuminated by harsh artificial light glaring from the screen—and saw the understanding look in your eyes when you eventually did look up at him with a sincere smile, he had to know that you got it, and it didn’t bother you in the slightest.

So why had he apologised like, twenty times already?

You asked yourself the question silently, mulling it over, tossing it around in your brain as he dropped another apology into the collection you kept a relatively noncommittal count of in the back of your mind. You asked yourself again as he set to washing his hands, to decorating the countertops with bags and tubs, to washing the few dishes in the sink and scrubbing down the stovetop to make a tidy working area. And you asked yourself again as he preheated the oven the way his phone told him to, focused as he pulled butter from the fridge and checked the ingredients list once more.

“Aren’t you tired?” You finally managed to ask after what felt like a lifetime of perplexed observation, quirking an eyebrow at him as he finally stopped his rapid prepping and stood in front of you to hold your gaze.

“Kinda,” he shrugged, planting a ghost of a kiss on your nose with curved up lips. “But I promised we’d try this banana bread recipe today, and I feel horrible for constantly letting you down.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that it doesn’t bother me?” You chuckled, returning his nose kiss before going to wash your own hands. You’d protest, and reassure him, and insist you could wait for another day; but you knew he’d be unrelenting as ever as he pulled the food scales from a cupboard next to the oven and checked how clean they were against the overhead light. “I knew what I was getting into when I agreed to date an idol, y’know.”

“Still,” he pouted, face impossibly cute as he again stopped simply to look at you while he spoke. “I don’t want you to feel ignored, or like I don’t care, or like I don’t want to spend time with you.”

“Lee Felix, do not make me kiss your nose again,” you spoke with faux warning in your voice, eyebrows raised pointedly. He grinned, feigning fear.

“Yeah, that would be terrible,” he snorted, rolling his eyes, to which you could only think to respond by peppering his face in tiny kisses. The giggles he let out with every peck were so sonorous they felt like a soft caress to your eardrums, sounds you were sure could only come from angels themselves. Perhaps if you looked hard enough you’d find wings scattering trails of feathers as soft as his smile, and as dazzling as the glint in his eyes. You kept his face cupped in your hands as you finished your barrage, eyes boring into his with a palpable seriousness.

“I love what we have, regardless of how many plans we end up cancelling. We always make new ones, and they end up being my fondest memories, so please. Don’t beat yourself up over it when I don’t even mind.”

“Okayyyy,” he drawled, pouting once more in a silent request for yet another kiss, which you happily accepted. “I’m really in the mood to bake now, though. You don’t have to join if you’re too tired.” You looked at the time on the oven display beaming lazily at you, by now past midnight, and shrugged.

“We’re here now, might as well.” He looked so overjoyed at your participation that he looked about ready to burst, swelling your heart to feel quite the same. You took his phone to scan the recipe he’d sent you a few days ago (with accompanying insistence you make it together) and surveyed the countertops to make sure nothing was missing before starting to make small talk about his day as you both assumed roles without needing to discuss them.

You began melting butter in a Pyrex jug and beating an egg in a cup while Felix set about mashing the bananas you’d spent so long ripening with overdramatic tenses of his arm muscles whenever he caught you looking, chuckling at your unabashed awe every time. He was the same while mixing, jostling you slightly as you weighed out dry ingredients and screeching when you threw a small handful of flour into his hair and face in retaliation. Baking with him always went this way, airy laughs and lighthearted tomfoolery alighting your kitchen with a weighted atmosphere of warmth and light, aptly settling alongside indulgent aromas of whatever you’d decided to attempt that week. Your entire apartment was forever alive with a buzzing, jubilant kind of love, still budding and beginning to bloom akin to the freshest, most fragrant blooms of spring, and that was undisputedly concentrated in your kitchen a lot of the time.

He shook the flour you’d so meticulously dusted him with at you, a fine snow tickling your skin and erupting peals of unbridled laughter from deep within your lungs. It caused him to join in just as vivaciously, stomachs aching as you strained to keep the baking session somewhat on track, trembling hands and shaking shoulders sending specks of sugar across the counter to join the mess he’d already made. You knew when all was said and done a lot of the tidying up would probably be left to you tomorrow, though you couldn’t find it in you to care when you were having so much fun.

“Do you think this is too much?” You asked, showing him the bag of macadamia nuts in your hand. He hummed, more focused on stirring everything together as it thickened enough to give him a decent forearm workout, and shook his head distractedly.

“Nah, there aren’t that many,” he responded after a second, to which you poured the entire contents of the bag in at his reassurance. He blinked, stunned, at the small yet significant pile they formed on the top of his expertly blended mixture, the reality of what he’d implicitly told you to do setting in as his body again began to shiver with tired waves of laughter. “Maybe there were more than I thought.”

“At least we both like them,” you responded with a snort, watching them slowly disappear as Felix began moving his arm again. You followed them with walnut halves, causing him to yelp in surprise, head shaking as he continued stirring resignedly.

“You were supposed to cut those up,” his overdone sigh was sardonic, but his impish grin betrayed his admittedly weak act of irritation. “And that’s so many nuts.”

“I mean, we’re making two loaves, so maybe they’ll spread out?” You shrugged, lining long tins with paper liners and gesturing for him to start pouring as you held the sides rigid. “It smells good. Besides, if it’s too much for you, that means more for me.”

“I never said it was too much,” he derided, focusing the best he could on dividing the mixture evenly. “I can out-nut you any day of the week baby.”

“biologically speaking? I beg to differ,” you responded instantly, great effort going into keeping your voice steady as you earned the shocked, wide-eyed look you’d both expected and desired. The atmosphere continued to wind down, but lively laughter remained a constant as you continued throwing things into the bowl.

The tins went into the oven, its small encapsulating warmth a mini imitation of the bubble you and Felix had expertly crafted for yourselves, where time seemed to stand still and glances and giggles seemed to say more than words ever could. He set a timer on his phone, taking the opportunity he saw in finally having free hands to pull you into his arms and wrap them tightly around you. You smiled as you pressed a kiss to his forehead, both of you beaming between each other, eyes twinkling with unadulterated adoration. Minutes were flying by in throes as you switched continuously between clinging to one another as if every kiss would be the last, talking about every random thing that came to mind and peering impatiently into the small glowing window you never strayed very far from.

As always, the vaguely consistent sickly sweet smell surrounded you in your joy, sugar teasing at the tips of your tongues as they darted out to wet the lips you so diligently kept against one anothers’ at every moment that allowed it. Your stomach yearned for the bread to finish baking already, yet by comparison your heart already felt so full. It thrummed happily in its bony cage like a bird in song, calling out to Felix’s and waiting for its equally resonant reply. Call and response, soft and trusting, connected so inherently within the space you crafted for yourselves in time to simply be with one another; to exist in love, and to feel sure the melodies would not silence any time soon.

You helped each other tidy up as cracks began to form in the hardening surface of the baked goods, rinsing dishes to be washed properly in the afternoon when you would muster the energy and countertops once again being wiped clean. After storing away the remaining butter he took your hand in his, face soft as he pulled you flush to him and began swaying with you to nothing but the faint buzzing of the dazzling light coming from the fridge and the tap dripping idly in the corner. You smirked as you rested your head on his chest, searching for that songbird, searching for its exuberance.

“We’re doing this trope now?” You hummed contentedly, frankly too comfortable in the easygoing happiness to mock all too much. He chuckled into a kiss to your head, twirling with a languid flair.

“We’ve covered so many of them already, why not tick some more boxes?” He grinned, holding you just a little tighter. His phone’s timer would go off soon, and you’d break from the bubble just a little to finish the job, but for now you allowed yourself to revel in heady delight as you danced to the tunes your entwined hearts passionately sang.