#I feel like I haven't been called anymore more than cute in months

[kanmom51]

Chapter 3 in the making

Traveling together to "film a show" was big (yes, this was to film a show, but we all know it was mainly to spend much needed time together, and if we didn't, let's be honest that we did, but if we didn't, then JK literally confirmed this for us in episode 1 of AYS). But back in 2023 when a public Jikook was a scarcity, left us with more question marks than anything else as to how this will actually be coming to fruition.

Enlisting together was HUGE. Like H U G E. Them being the only ones to do so not only within BTS but the first and only idols to do so. A choice made by the two of them. To do this together. With each other. Not with anyone else.

Are You Sure?! Do we need any words here? Like really? Because AYS was as loud as F$@&. No, seriously, idk what you want to call it, a soft launch, a smack in the noggin, whatever you do, it was quite clear to those who have eyes and a brain. With or without knowing who JM and JK are, their history, their culture. Louder to those who do know them.

Since their enlistment and even through Muse and AYS we got practically nothing from the two. Oh, we did have a couple of interesting pics from their basic training and graduation, a few pics from the unit, a shit ton of signatures, some more interesting than others (joint messages, pretty decorations...) and a few nice messages, but mostly silence from the two. This stood out even more so in comparison to the almost barrage we've been getting from NJ and Tae, both enlisted only a day before Jikook.

And then came December. With less than 6 months to go.

JK going live from his new place. Dare I say their new place? It's not like we haven't talked about this over the past 18 months. Speculating, wondering. But man (figure of speech y'all), these last couple of months, they are sure making me feel like what we saw as leaning to the delusional side or more so wishful thinking, ain't no delusion or wish, but more so a very possible reality to come.

But let's get back on track.

So, December gave us:

"We spend our free time together", "we sing together", "we sing while we shower daily together", not to mention JK's btw remark about seeking privacy away from others "to sing".

Then came JM in January with their "conversations before going bed" about "what kind of image we want to show" and "what kind of lives we will live moving forward".

And February rolls in and we think that we will be back to their silent treatment, but JK comes to us with a heartfelt message (they really feel the end and want out). But nothing prepared us for Hobi's birthday live and once again those two with their "we share a room" and "we have stories to tell, but not sure how much we actually can..." that won't scare us off, lol.

Funny how every single hysterical claim made by those who were hit so very hard by their joint enlistment has been shut down by the two of them by now!!

Anyway, do we see a pattern here? Can we call this a pattern? Is there more to come? Well, obviously there is post military service, but seeing as to how they have been in the past couple of months, I'm thinking that we will be getting more even before that.

I'm guessing that conclusion isn't a far fetched one, seeing what we got last night.

And OMG, that was another HUGE loud af Jikook statement.

Ribbon on right: "I love you 🖤"

Ribbon on left: "BTS Park Jimin and Jeon Jungkook".

Yes, a statement.

I stand by that.

Because even if you don't think it's anymore than a cute thing, just another thing that Jikook do together, then you are not seeing the cultural context here.

So, several content producers/directors that were Hybe employees (directors of I am still, AYS and JM's production diary amongst others) have left the company to open their own company (Idk too much about the company they opened, but my guess is that they will continue working with Hybe as contractors rather than employees, but also allowing them to work with other companies and create their own content, including producing a new boy band). And they posted the congratulation they have received.

From Hobi.

Hoshi and Woonhoo of Seventeen.

Each sending a separate wreath.

Zico

And there are wreaths they received from more than one sender. Joint wreaths. But this was from companies (joint ceos), or business partners. Not two separate idols or people.

Now, if you don't see what's huge here, let me show you the K side of this to maybe get some perspective (although, let's be honest, you don't need to be on the K side to see this is a couple thing).

Yes, I wonder the same thing!!!

There is more.

So much more.

The K side of things is literally going mad. Good mad.

And there is a reason they are.

This is most definitley not something friends, as close as they might be, would do. Not friends, not multimillionaire friends. They most definitley can afford two wreaths. And that's one of the points here.

Once again.

This was a choice.

Not to send separate congratulative wreaths. They sure can afford to do so. Even if they aren't on vacation at the moment and are in the base. Seriously, two young men closing in on their 30s, independently financially sufficient and so much more.

Yeah, this most definitley was a statement.

And the frenzy K Jikookers are in at this very moment is well enough proof to that.

Btw, haven't been to the dark side, don't know just how crazy and rabid the cult and antiis are going, but my guess would be...

Anyways, sitting here smile plastered on my face, I'm kind of starting to think, that this is maybe, just maybe, going to become our new normal. Jikook doing couplie things, openly, proudly, unapologetically.

And if this is them even before they are discharged...

What a great time this is going to be.

[disneyprincemuke]

oscar's girl * ls2

logan never thought he would meet the girl that broke oscar’s heart

pairings: logan sargeant x fem!reader

word count: 4.2k

notes: guys ive been writing this since 10pm girl it's mf 4am now please sue me i'm sorry this was a long wind up im sorry but dont worry i will be writing a part two HELL YEAHHHH

(logan's girl) // |(f1 masterlist)

oscar and logan, logan and oscar. that's how it's been since they had run into each other during a karting weekend in the uk a couple of years ago. oscar had approached him with a toothy grin and a packet of candy after seeing logan walk around by himself for weekends at a time.

maintaining the friendship isn't the easiest of feats: logan lives in south florida, while oscar lives on the opposite side of the globe in melbourne. they don't see each other for very long, and very often in a year. but, it always feels like no time has passed when they get together after months of separation.

but being apart for the majority of the year means the window they've got to keep an ongoing conversation is small. but their string of texts has always come in consistently every day, responses from the other flooding in the early hours of the morning and sometimes in the dead of the night.

that was, until, logan woke up one warm thursday morning to an empty and dry phone. he brushed it off, taking it that oscar just had a long day at school. perhaps too much had happened in the day to simply text at the end of the day. so he went to school as he usually did with his best friend in the back of his mind.

but one day turned into two, and suddenly he hadn't heard from oscar in almost a week.

logan had sent one follow-up text. a simple 'hey' to nudge oscar into a response. which did help, because him and oscar surprisingly texted for a short thirty-minute window before the australian called it quits on their conversation to get some sleep for the next school day.

until oscar goes radio silent again for the next three days. so, he goes to the one other person in oscar's life that he knows personally.

"hey mum," logan starts, walking into the kitchen hesitantly. he's been dancing around the idea of asking his mum for help to see if oscar's even still alive and has not been replaced by some clone that's somehow less chatty than the one he said goodbye to at the airport four months ago.

"yeah, baby?" his mother stands up from her prior hunched-over position at the fridge to smile at him. she opens her arms as he approaches her hesitantly, fiddling with his thumbs. "what's wrong?"

he hums, second-guessing his decision to bring his mother into the situation. perhaps oscar just no longer wants to be friends with him anymore? but if that were the case, oscar definitely would have said something to his face and he's just been quiet. "um, it's just oscar," he starts softly, dropping his gaze to his feet, "can you ask his mum if he's alright?"

"of course," she smiles, letting go of him. she walks around the kitchen counter to find her phone. "why, did something happen to him recently? break another wrist?"

logan shakes his head, pressing his lips together. "no, we haven't been talking as much as we used to. i'm just worried that something might have happened to him."

a blush creeps up his cheeks when his mother's lips pout as she tries to hide her smile. "aw, logan! that's very cute of you. and very thoughtful," she teases as she starts to type on her phone. "i'm texting his mum right now. you hang tight and i'll tell you when she gets up to text me, okay?"

"okay."

he tries not to linger around his mum's circle of personal space for very long, afraid to let on that he's more concerned than he should be for the status of his friendship. to combat the anxiety of potentially losing one of his best friends, he locks himself in his room and plays video games all afternoon.

he had been in the middle of a game in call of duty when his phone started to ring. he glances at from his position on his bed and perks up with oscar's picture taking over the screen of his phone.

he immediately pauses the game, tossing the controller to the side of his bed. he slides his finger across the screen to pick up the call and oscar, visibly tired, pops up on his screen with a small smile.

"hey! my mum just got off the phone with your mum," oscar whispers with a smile. "said you missed me, mate?"

"no, i was just concerned cause you've been off the grid for a while," logan scoffs with an eye roll. "i never said i missed you."

"well, i'm sorry for disappearing on you, mate," oscar drops his gaze and a small smile creeps up on his face. in the dim orange lighting of his bedroom in melbourne, logan can almost make out the redness coming through on oscar's cheeks. "there's a reason for that. it's not because i don't wanna be friends anymore. i've just been a little... preoccupied."

logan tilts his head. he rolls over to his stomach and holds the phone up to his face. "what do you mean? more preoccupied than usual?"

"yeah," oscar giggles. "i uh... i've got-" he clears his throat, the slight embarrassment getting the better of him. he lifts his eyes from his thighs and moves the phone slightly further away. "i got a girlfriend."

logan furrows his eyebrows, throwing his head back slightly in shock. "what?"

"yeah," oscar repeats with a hint of a giggle in his response. "i've been seeing her for a while. do you mind if i tell you about her a little bit?"

"really?" logan smiles, squinting an eye. truthfully, he's finding it a little bit hard to believe that oscar's suddenly got a girlfriend. they're literally always on the phone with one another, texting and updating one another on things that they've got no idea about in their day-to-day lives.

not once has oscar come up to him about a girl before, much less developing a crush on somebody. "this is a bit sudden, isn't it? like, where did this girl come from?"

"she's new," oscar smiles. "so, do you wanna know about her or not?"

"alright, fire away, lover boy."

they talk - no, oscar talks - for the next hour about the girl that's recently enrolled into his private school. all logan can do is giggle and smile with oscar at how their relationship had gone down.

even after oscar has hung up, logan still doesn't really know much about the girl he's spent the better part of the past hour talking about. oscar simply refers to her as 'my girl'.

the next time oscar and logan reunite in the uk is at the end of the year. their mothers made an effort to get flights close to one another, letting them run into each other at the mcdonald's in the airport unknowingly while getting food before heading to the hotel.

"dude!" logan cheers, smacking oscar on the shoulder roughly.

"huh?" the smaller boy ahead of him looks up from his phone, turning his head to be greeted by a familiar pair of green eyes. he immediately locks his phone and slips it into his back pocket as realisation slowly dawns on him. "logan!"

"too busy texting on your phone to even notice i was behind you the entire time," logan scoffs jokingly as a hand comes up to pat him on the shoulder.

oscar presses his lips together as a blush creeps up on his cheeks. "sorry. i was texting my girl!"

"my girl this, my girl that," logan rolls his eyes with a smile. "did she not come along with you?"

"no, mate. she's off for a holiday with her family," oscar shrugs, biting down on his lip.

for the rest of the trip, logan will often catch Oscar cheesing at his phone. it doesn't matter when or where: they could be in their hotel room watching a movie, on the track waiting for the race to start, or while they're having a casual chat before they go to bed.

one question haunts logan for the rest of their stay in the uk: who is this girl?

though, it seems that logan is never destined to meet this girl that his best friend spent an entire year gushing about. because at three in the morning on a random saturday in may, his phone buzzes with oscar's picture taking over his entire screen again.

"we broke up."

logan would stay up all morning with oscar that day, letting oscar choke back on tears for the next thirty minutes about the girl that simply packed her bags and moved halfway across the world from him. they would never speak of this day again, even after they both relocated to the uk together to start their junior career.

oscar never speaks of the girl he once devoted his entire self to, but logan often finds himself thinking of her whereabouts and how their relationship had changed oscar.

oscar never uttered the phrase ‘my girl’ when he started dating his long-time girlfriend, lily zneimer. now that they’re in f1 together, logan has at least gotten to know this girlfriend.

he is very well aware that she exists: he’s talked to and touched lily. but the question still lingers in the back of his mind about the unnamed girl, even years later.

the thought of her pops up randomly in his mind as he approaches the paddocks for his sophomore year in the sport. that was prompted by the sight of oscar also making his way into the paddocks slightly ahead of him.

“mate, i heard you’ve got a special guest in your side of the garage today,” oscar teases, stepping away from logan as he reaches out to tap his card into the reader.

“what? who told you that?” logan scoffs, passing through the gantries as he throws his head back in disbelief. “ugh, alex needs to shut his trap. i bet he told lando then lando told you.”

“no, your mum told my mum,” oscar laughs. he nudges his friend with his shoulder. “why? are you shy?”

“piss off.” logan giggles as he drops his head, shaking his head as he bites back a smile. “i’ll see you later, mate.”

“oh, i’ll see you later alright. i’ve got to see who’s making you blush like that,” the australian giggles, shoving him in the direction of the williams racing home.

logan chases his shoulder, managing to land a soft smack before he completely walks away. sure, logan had been seeing somebody for a while, and this weekend was the one he had singled out for you to come out and watch his race.

you were scheduled to come in about thirty minutes for now, about twenty minutes before he is supposed to disappear from the garage for an interview panel.

and he’s excited. this is his first time having his personal guest, who isn’t his mother or brother, in his side of the garage. sure, getting halfsies of alex’s girlfriend from the garage next to him is still something, but it’s just not the same.

so, he tries to pass the next thirty minutes as well as he can. and he does everything: he terrorises his team in the garage, then james sitting his office, then alex in his driver’s room.

still ten minutes left on the clock.

kinda early, but i’m here! :)

logan almost jumps out of his skin at the notification that pops up along with your name. he swallows back the excited scream as he runs down the stairs, pushing himself past alex and his girlfriend who were gathered downstairs with james.

logan swings the glass doors open, slumping his shoulders and feeling a wave of happiness in his chest when he sees you standing shyly by the stairs.

you look very cozy: wrapped in a dark puffer jacket and your bag barely hanging onto your shoulder. he almost wants to disappear with you into his driver’s room and cuddle all day. to hell with his commitments, even if it means fighting off his pr officer.

“hey, you!” logan beams, perking up as he jogs down the few steps to where you were. “you should have texted me when you reached the paddocks. i could have picked you up.”

immediately, he bends down to take your bag into his hands and then he pulls you in for a warm hug. “thanks for making it out this weekend.”

“of course. how can i decline a chance to watch you in your element?” you smile, leaning back slightly and wrapping your arms around him. “thank you for reserving a pass for me.”

“absolutely!” logan cheers, pulling away. “let me bring you inside and introduce you to the team. you don’t mind, right?”

“it’s my pleasure,” you smile.

he puts a hand on your back as he guides you up the racing home, pushing the door open and beckons for you to walk in before him.

“ah, lily, you were right! it’s neither his brother nor his mum that’s making a special appearance this weekend!” alex booms from deep inside the hospitality, throwing his arms in the air. “mr american man got a girlfriend over the winter break?”

“shut up, mate,” logan scowls, moving his hand up to hold your shoulder protecticely. “but, yes. this is… my girlfriend.”

he shyly looks down at you, catching your eye as you glance up at him. you’ve only recently gotten into a relationship with logan; fresh, only six weeks into the title.

“oh, it’s so nice to meet you,” lily steps away from alex’s grasp and holds a hand out to you, “i’m lily. welcome to the paddocks.”

“hi, i’m (y/n). it's so nice to finally meet you,” you smile, taking her hand. “and alex! logan talks about you guys really often. i’m a big fan.”

“oh, logan talks about me,” alex teases in a laugh, also extending his hand out to you. “good things only, i hope.”

“hey, i told you not to tell him that,” logan says through his teeth, giving you a warning stare with wide eyes.

“it’s my first time meeting him, babe,” you laugh to logan, taking his hand in yours to shake.

"oh, can i tell you about logan's antics last year in the paddocks?" alex asks you excitedly, hopping one step toward you.

"or," lily laughs, wrapping her arms around her boyfriend to steer him away from you, "let's let her settle down with logan. you can terrorise her after the day has ended, alex."

"aw, but i've got lists of embarrassing things about him," alex sighs with a frown, though he lets lily guide him away from the new couple. he cranes his neck and grins at you. "i will see you later! i'll prepare a list!"

"so we're avoiding him later," logan smiles at you, now guiding you towards the steps that would lead you to some privacy. "have you run into anyone yet? have you seen liam yet?"

you shake your head. "not yet. but i hope you'll bring me to him so that i can get to say hi? i haven't seen him since we bumped into them at disneyland in december."

"yeah, i know. he's been asking about you." he opens the door to his driver's room to let you in. "so, i've got to run for a bit. i've got an interview panel. it really shouldn't take too long. i'm sorry."

"sorry? what are you sorry for?" you giggle, taking a seat in the corner of the room. your eyes scan the small room, taking note of the endless shirts riddled with williams' logo hung in the corner.

"i don't wanna just leave you here by yourself," logan slumps his shoulders with a frown, resting his hands on his knees as he bends over to meet your eyes. "i feel bad."

"oh, i'll be okay." you wave off his concern and lean in, pressing a chase kiss to his lips. "just text me when you're done. i'll go downstairs and find lily and get to know her better."

"that's a good idea! you guys should really go around the paddocks. there's a concert somewhere too, make the best out of my pass, okay?" logan smiles, his hand cupping your chin. he brushes his thumb over your cheek as he towers over you. "text me if you get lost."

"i won't get lost," you smile, standing up from the seat. "i actually haven't had my coffee yet. do you know anywhere i can get a cup of coffee?"

"oh, lily should know where," logan hums, tapping his bottom lip as he heads for his door. "let me get her for you."

"logan." the firmness in your voice stops logan in his tracks, turning around with curious eyes. "i can find lily on my own. i'll be okay - i'll see you later."

"are you sure? i just feel bad that i'll leave you all by yourself," logan whispers, leaning in to kiss your cheek. "i'll miss you."

"i'll miss you too. but you've got a job to do," you giggle, walking out of his room with your hands wrapped around his arm. "i won't disappear. i'll meet you wherever when you're done. just text me."

"fine."

so logan goes and does his media commitments with alex in tow. and lily clearly had the same idea as you, meeting you at the front doors as alex walked away with logan.

"logan mentioned you were looking for coffee?" lily beams, quickly finding herself by your side as she leads you around the paddocks. "i know the best racing home to get a good cup of, but we might have to sneak in."

"sneak in?" you tilt your head. "is that even allowed?"

"yeah, carmen will get us in! mercedes has got the best cup of coffee to offer around here," lily giggles. "and, you should meet the rest of the girls. what are you going to do for the rest of the evening while the boys are out doing their jobs?"

"i suppose you're right," you shrug with a small smile. "but it's my first time here. should i really be caught sneaking into another team's home?"

"ah, you're with me," lily smiles. "i've got you."

so you actually get your cup of coffee in the back of the mercedes' racing home, now finding yourself huddled together with carmen and lily. they had asked you how you had come to meet logan, especially after the driver had spent most of it behind closed doors and rarely showed himself to the cameras.

it was a pretty simple story. you had been on vacation in new york with a group of your friends, minding your business in the corner of a crowded bar. truthfully, you didn't even want to be there, but it was your best friend's birthday trip. you couldn't say no even if you insisted.

logan had caught sight of you pretending to drink shots your friends were handing you towards the end of the night. eventually, you wound up with about six filled shot glasses hiding behind you, desperately hidden from your friend's prying eyes.

he thought it was funny, and had offered to finish them for you. in exchange for a promise that they were not laced with poison.

you had hit it off, and logan asked you out on a date. while you were unfortunately flying off to another state in a week, he had taken up the challenge and took you out on a date the very next night in the heart of new york city.

the rest is history, as they say.

"does logan actually ever say no to free alcohol?" carmen jokes, blowing into her cup of hot coffee. "wait! there's a concert happening not too far from here. do you guys know who's performing?"

"it should be on the race's instagram page," lily sighs, swiftly taking her phone out of her pocket. "but aren't the guys finishing up their interviews by now?"

"it's a long weekend. would they really notice if we weren't here for one break that they have?" carmen points out knowingly with a smile. "and we've got to show her," carmen gestures towards you, "around. is this your first race weekend?"

you nod shyly, taking a sip from your coffee. "but it's okay, really! don't go out of the way for me."

"that's silly." lily runs a hand through her hair and sighs, resting a hand on her hip. "okay, so, let's meet the guys near the pit building. when they're called in for their driver's briefing, we make a run for the concert area, okay?"

"that sounds like a much better compromise." carmen turns to you with a playful smile. "we will teach you how to make the most out of logan's race pass. you're going to have so much fun with us."

"after the concert, we'll head upstairs to the viewing pen and get a couple of drinks," lily smiles. she glances down at her phone. "oh, seems like they're already done. you guys wanna head there together?"

"sure!"

you start backpedalling from your position, ready to follow the two veteran paddock enjoyers. that seemed like a good idea until your back collides with something - someone - and suddenly you've got mildly hot coffee all over your top.

this is the one time you regret unzipping your jacket to let a bit of the cold in.

"i'm so sorry."

"it's fine," you say with a soft whine, turning around before being flashed by a bright orange jacket and a pair of brown eyes. "it's..." you tilt your head. "do i know you from somewhere?"

the shape of his polite smile and the way his brown eyes look into you are all very familiar. but you just can't quite place a finger on it.

perhaps it's because he looks a lot different from the last time you saw him. you were a wee fourteen-year-old the last time you had seen him before you were forced to pack your bags and move away because of your dad's job.

but, as a kid, you generally did a lot of moving around because of that said job. now you're just trying to single him out by geographic location from the many friends you've made and lost contact with over the years.

"(y/n)?" oscar's eyebrows shoot up, your name coated thickly with an australian accent as his hand lingers on your shoulder.

"oh, you two know each other?" lily excitedly asks, looking between the two younger individuals.

who seem to be very caught up in their unexpected reunion. you'd be shocked too if the girl you had thought was the love of your life shows up at your big boy job with your colleagues' girlfriends with a mercerdes coffee cup in hand.

"yeah, we uh," oscar takes a step away from you and puts his hands in the pockets of his team jacket, "we used to go to school together. in melbourne."

"right," you sigh in relief, finally being able to place him in a particular timeline of your life. you finally remember him: oscar piastri, the school heartthrob with a charming smile and friendly eyes. he had even asked you to be his girlfriend at some point, dating for the better part of a year before you had to leave melbourne with your family. "oscar, right? i'm sorry, my memory's a little bit hazy."

"no, yeah," oscar agrees, scanning you head to toe. "it's been... how long has it been since we last saw each other?"

"very long. it's been years since i left melbourne." you lower your cup and readjust your jacket, trying to hide the prominent wet patch of coffee at the collar of your inner shirt.

but the longer you stare at him, the more the memories come rushing back to the time you spent with the best friend you had made in melbourne for those years. you can vividly remember oscar picking you out in pe to be his teammate, sneaking out of homeroom to grab a juice pack together right down the hall.

you had completely forgotten the tears you shed that day you had to leave melbourne. you swore that you would keep in contact with the warmest brown eyes your eyes have ever seen, but you had simply gotten too busy settling into the new environment that had been thrown at you.

before you knew it, you had dropped your phone into the lake when you were out with your friends and you lost oscar's phone number. you never found a way to reconnect with him, and eventually, he had joined the long list of friends that you had forgotten about.

"i," oscar laughs, "what are you doing here in the paddocks? are you friends with them?"

"no," you straighten your back with a polite smile, "i'm with somebody - logan."

and oscar's never wanted to ever tear apart the paddocks' walls with his own hands before. what do you mean his girl is here with his best friend?

[secretlyanimmortal]

Yan! Classmate

> tiny note: would swearing count as a warning? it's prtty light too > ~ ms. Chari

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> Remember your first day in middle school? First impressions to new classmates are important! People always said that you give respect to be respected so you waved to your new classmates with a smile. But didn't you know you've sealed your fate the day you walked into that classroom?

> You were so sweet to everyone! Giving free notes you had, sharing stories to relate to people, and even talking to the quiet kids during break so they wouldn't feel left out! > That's at least how you've met him, scribbling on his notebook with stanzas and counting the syllables to his poems. You helped him find a friend group too, joining the literature club, and even making hangouts for you and his friends. > You've even helped in his homeworks and quizzes and he grew in popularity. The school basically knew you guys as a duo till high school. The tight-knit friend duo. > Yeah, but it's high school- what do you think was gonna happen? purely platonic???

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> "Just a friend"? Yeah right! Have you seen how his voice is more gentle when you're near? or how his eyes look at you softer than any other person he's met? You were cute too > It all changed when this one guy- wait how did he get your details? did you like this stranger? he isn't even from our school! why would you even interact with a weirdo-

> He's being distant from you, weird. Hey, at least he has a friend group he talks to, right? Even the teachers were asking you where your best friend was at this point, maybe he's just having a hard day. or week, or month.

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> You felt eyes staring directly into your soul, maybe you did something wrong? Seen after seen message- you felt incomplete without your buddy. > No worries! you have many friends- why are they ignoring you too- what's with the whispering when you walk? the peering eyes and the scowls on their faces when you smile past- this is getting too out of hand > One day, you were chatting with the guy that got your number, when your best friend classmate texted you. > Heyo dudez! whats up? > is it true? > wahts tru? > that you've been sharing school secrets to another school? > wtf NO!!!! whu would sy that??? > nothing, it's just that ur probably gonna get reported next week to the principal > wait who said that i was sharing anything?

> Hello??? dude.... is that why everyone is ignoring me?

> ??? hellO??!?!??#

｡ﾟ•┈꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱┈• ｡ﾟ

> Turns out, you've been the perfect victim to be framed of sharing private school information since you've been talking to that guy from another school. > You beg the principal, showing all of your messages even, yet they didn't believe you. Who would be this good at knowing how you chat? Why would anyone want you to be suspended anyways? > Great, now you're forced into your room, crying with your knees to your chest. Your parents didn't even care anymore- they just said you were grounded (they didn't even take your phone). > It's fine, you can talk to- wait why was he ignoring your calls? maybe he was having a festival at his school or a- > Oh he blocked you... > Well- now your alone. Stuck in your room for two weeks, your social life and battery completely destroyed, and your reputation ruined. > DING! > Yo are ya doing okay? heard u were suspended. > I can stay with u if you're not doing okay, u can vent to me

꒰ა ♡ ໒꒱ > hhhhhhhgggggg should i even make a prt 2 for this? i haven't finished prt 2 for my yan!rival yet > rlly sry every1!!! im too busy Q-Q > ty for reading!! > ms. Chari out!

[hearts4golbach]

Busy. (Jake Webber x Fem!Reader.)

warning: smut

-

"jake?" I called from the living room. he was in the kitchen making food. "can we go out tonight? we haven't been on a date in like 2 months. I miss you."

"uh, I can't tonight, babe." he explained, "me and johnnie are working."

"yeah, that's all you've been fucking doing." I mutter under my breath.

"what?" Jake says a little louder.

"nothing." I said with an annoyed tone.

he walks into the room and wraps his arms around me, kissing my cheek. "tell me what's bothering you."

I pushed his arms off and stood up. "you don't have time for me anymore and it's honestly annoying as fuck." I knew I should be considerate because he's working, but I also had a right to be mad.

i walked away before he could answer, shutting the bathroom door to take a shower.

10 minutes later, jake knocked on the door. "I'm going to head out, can I come in?"

"okay." I mumbled.

he walked in and I peaked out of the curtain. "yeah?"

he placed a kiss on my lips. "I'll be home later."

I frowned. "I'm sure you will."

he texted johnnie, saying he was on his way before exiting the bathroom.

-

I sat on the couch for 3 hours watching 'Sonic Underground' because that show is fire as fuck and always made me feel better.

my limbs were spread out all over the couch as I drank diet coke. I was giggling at the show whenever I heard the front door open.

"honey, I'm home!" Jake called jokingly. he was more chipper than he was earlier.

"I'm in the living room." I answered, not bothering to match his energy.

he walked in, carrying food in one hand and flowers in the other.

"oh, cute. did johnnie get you flowers?" I teased.

he rolled his eyes and handed them to me. "they're for you."

"thank you, baby." I gave him a sad smile.

"whatcha watching?"

"sonic." he handed me one box. it was my favorite take out. "awe, jake."

"this is our late little date. I promise, I'll take you out soon." he smiled and began to dig into his own food.

I was still quite angry at him, though. he sensed that.

"if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, I will." he offered.

I felt my cheeks heat up. "I don't think I should say the first thing that came to mind."

jake smirked before pulling me in for a kiss. I think he got the hint. he kissed me deeply, moving his hands up to cup my face.

"I'm sorry I've been such a dick lately, I've been so caught up with work and johnnie."

"it's okay, you can make it up to me now."

he pulled me into his lap. "I intend to." he groaned softly as I grinded my hips against him.

"I want you, jake." I pleaded, holding back a moan from the friction.

"then take me."

I began to take off his shirt and pants, planning to fuck him right here on the couch.

he took of my clothes as well, tossing them somewhere in the living room. we were both left in our underwear.

"you're already so hard." I whispered in his ear.

"you have that effect on me." he began to kiss my neck, trailing down to my covered chest. his hands snaked around my back, unclipping my bra.

he cupped my tit with one hand while the other was on my hip, grinding me down onto him. "fuck, jake." I moaned softly.

"you're so perfect." he said, smashing his lips onto mine.

he quickly pulled off my underwear, leaving me naked on top of him. I palmed his length through his boxers, feeling his cock twitch under my touch.

"fuck-" he whimpered, pulling down his boxers. his dick sprang up. "are you okay with this?" Jake breathed out, his eyes trailing up my body.

I nodded eagerly. he grabbed my hips and positioned himself at my entrance. I slowly took his length, making him let out a needy moan.

"shh." I placed a gentle kiss on his lips. "these walls are thin, the neighbors will hear."

"I don't care." he pants, beginning to thrust in and out at a slow pace. he looked at me with desire and need in his eyes. "you feel so fucking good."

"you're so good, jake." I placed my hands on his chest. I wasn't a very verbal person while we fucked, but I wanted to change that.

"oh, fuck." Jake gasped, throwing his head back as I picked up the pace.

he looked back at me, watching as I bounced on his hard length. "oh my-" I moaned. "faster, jake."

without hesitation, he sped up the pace. his hips met mine with a primal rhythm. the sound of it filled the room. he groaned into my neck, going at it harder.

"just like that." I breathed, placing my hands on his shoulders for more stability.

"you're so fucking tight." he grunted, digging his fingers into my hips as he pushed deeper. "I'm so close."

he continuously hit my g spot, making me lose control. I moaned incoherent swears as his cock throbbed inside of me. "you're driving me crazy." I managed to utter.

"I know." he said with a smirk. he gripped my hair, pulling my head back as he began to leave dark hickeys on my neck.

"shit," I breathed. "I'm close."

"cum with me, babe." he grabbed my ass.

my body tensed with his final thrust, pushing deep inside as he shot his seed. he cried out in pleasure, kissing me lazily.

"how could I ever be mad at you." i say, trying to catch my breath.

[lcvrboys]

i sleep so i can see you (i hate to wait so long)

ੈ✩‧₊ chapter 3: sam likes girls?

view it on ao3 previous chapter

image credit: @bratjosh <3

pairing: josh washington x sam giddings, emily davis x sam giddings

synopsis: The first time Sam has a proper interaction with the twins' older brother, she's on the ground. When Sam is in the tenth grade, he's the reason she gets called to the principal's office. She's got her phone beside her pillow at full volume at all times and he's why. She realises that she'll be making excuses for him all her life. Josh and Sam in the years leading up to the prank. Or, all the boys people Samantha Giddings has ever had a crush on.

word count: 4.6k

a/n: hiiii guys !!!! sorry not a lot of jossam in this chapter; this is something for the samily girlies... i wanted to try something a little different and kind of build more on sam and her inner thoughts and feelings. but don't worry, LOTS more jossam to come in the next chapters :) :) we haven't even got to the good parts yet ! this one was loosely inspired by a headcanon written by @queenofbaws! she has sooo many cute jossam oneshots that i LOVE. thank you so much for all the support on this, i hope you all love reading it as much as i loved writing it <3

Sam figures that she likes shopping with Emily - it’s more fun than shopping with her mother, (who only takes her shopping once every six months when her clothes at home no longer fit her) that’s for sure. She was surprised that Emily had even asked her in the first place instead of Jess, who was usually her go-to whenever she felt like spending money; but Sam was glad to have a reason to finally use what she had saved up from her job at the animal shelter. 

She receives the phone call Friday afternoon after she gets home from swim practice. Sam rushes to her room to pick up her phone, because despite knowing her since middle school, she still can’t tell whether Emily likes her or not. When she answers, Sam pretends to be preoccupied and picks at her nails, even though Em can’t even see her. 

“We’re going out tomorrow,” she says. “I need to buy something for the dance and I don’t trust anybody else’s opinion.” 

Sam’s been talking to a guy for a while now - his name’s Elliot and he’s on the swim team and the track team like herself. While he’s sweet and patient and doesn’t mind that she’s rejected him more times than she can remember, there’s still something in her brain that tells her she shouldn’t be with him. When they had first started talking, he had asked her to go to the movies once after school. 

“I can't,” she said. “I need to visit a friend in the hospital.” 

What she likes about him is that he’s understanding and patient. He had asked her again the week after. 

“I can’t,” Sam said again. “I have swimming and track after school every other day.” 

He had joined the track team to see her more often, which she had rolled her eyes at. If it was Josh, she would’ve secretly thought it was endearing. There’s no reason why she should be thinking about Josh this much; she hasn’t spoken to him in ages. There’s no real reason why she shouldn’t reject Elliot anymore - she doubts Josh even thinks about her, and she figures she needs to get over him at some point.  So she had accepted Elliot’s invitation to the school dance in two months, and she realises that she wouldn’t mind going dress shopping. 

It makes her glad to know that Em thinks so highly of her, that she actually cares what Sam thinks. She’s also excited to feel like a normal teenage girl - something she always forgets to do amongst all her duties. It’s been back and forth from her mother and father’s houses every few days and she hasn’t had time for herself since god knows when. 

“Do you like this?” Em runs her hand down the train of a navy blue dress and cranes her neck in the mirror. Sam’s conscious of the fact that Emily is significantly cooler than her, with her glossy black hair and her perfect manicure. And it’s obvious, from how natural she looks in the dress. 

“It’s gorgeous ,” Sam gushes, eyeing the glittering beads. She takes a look at the tag - $2,000 - that’s worth more than probably all of the clothes in her closet.

“No. It’s disgusting,” she resolves, and crosses her arms over her chest. 

“What? Em, it looks beautiful!” 

“Not the dress. It’s me.” Emily rolls her eyes and begins undoing the back. “I need to be perfect .” 

Sam can’t believe that she doesn’t consider herself perfect . When she thinks of her, perfect is all she can see. Sam’s seen the tests that litter her desk - Emily’s a genius - she doesn’t think that her GPA has dropped below a 4.0 ever since high school started. And she’s drop dead gorgeous too (and it wasn’t a matter of personal opinion either, because all the guys in their grade seemed to think so as well). 

Emily unloops the dress from her shoes and stuffs it into the hands of the store attendant. She’s only in her bra with the curtain open, but she seems so confident in her body that she doesn’t even care that there are other people around them. Sam blushes and her head reflexively turns away like it’s being pulled to the side by a string. 

“Wait,” Em calls to the store attendant, who’s half running back to her the moment she hears the younger girl’s voice. Emily’s looking Sam up and down with a hand on her hip, and her insecurities suddenly feel glaringly obvious. “This might look good on you , though.” 

Sam instantly wraps her arms around her body. “No, today is for you !” But Emily doesn’t listen, and she’s pushing her into the change room, and stuffing the dress into her arms. 

“Turn around,” Em says, and her cold hands on her back makes a shiver run up her spine. When she laces up the back of the dress up for her, the tips of her nails graze her bare skin and it makes Sam’s hairs stand on end. Emily stands close beside her, their faces next to each other so that they can both have a look in the mirror. Sam can feel the warmth of her cheek on hers, despite them not physically touching. 

“You’re really pretty, you know,” Emily says, running a hand through her hair. 

A memory of Josh pops up in her head against her will - the two of them on the porch at Mike’s birthday last year. “ You’re like, the most amazing girl I know, ” he says, and she feels like her heart has expanded the size of an elephant. She can feel her cheeks burn red and she can’t tell whether it’s because of Emily or the memory. 

It’s crazy, but she thinks that she actually agrees with Em, because the blue looks nice on her skin and it makes her realise that maybe she actually is pretty. Sam doesn’t recognise the girl staring back at her, but she’s convinced it’s not the same one who’s grown man shoulders from four days of swim practice a week. 

“Are you joking?” 

Emily looks at her like she’s got another eye growing in the middle of her forehead. “Don’t lie to me right now bitch, you know you’re pretty.” She’s standing close to her now, her face right up beside her so they’re both looking at her in the mirror. She can feel the warmth of her cheek burning against hers. With one of her hands, she pulls Sam’s hair into a low ponytail, and with the other she pulls two strands out. 

“Do your hair like this, okay?” She uses her finger to tilt Sam’s head to the side so they can look at the hair with the dress. Her hands graze the back of her neck and goosebumps run up her arms. When she spends time with Emily, Sam’s always self-conscious of being perceived. It’s much like the way she feels when she has a crush. “And wear drop earrings. You’ll look hot. ” 

That’s how she feels when she spends time with Emily – she feels hot , and cool , and everything that a teenage girl is meant to be. She’s turning sixteen soon, but in her head she’s still an awkward twelve year old - although she can’t be that awkward if she’s here with Em. 

Sam feels her phone buzz and there’s two texts: one from Hannah - hows the dress hunt going? and another from Elliot - What you doing today Sam? 

She snaps a quick pic and texts it back to her: Would love to get this dress if it wasn’t like a billion dollars :( She ignores the other. 

Emily sees her take a photo and she pulls out her phone. “Hold on, I need one of us too.”  

That night when she gets home, there’s a photo of her biting her tongue into a smirk while Em kisses her on the cheek posted on @emdavisxo. It’s amassed 200 likes and it hasn’t even been an hour yet. It makes her blush when she notices that Em’s chosen that one. It’s funny - she has to pinch herself when she thinks about the fact that she went out with Emily today. Their relationship is immortalised on her Instagram account, and it makes her feel like she’s special to Em - she doesn’t even have an Instagram post up of her and Jess. She thinks, maybe it wouldn’t be bad if she liked girls - maybe it wouldn’t be bad if she liked Em . But before that thought materialises, she scrolls through the likes to check whether there’s one from @joshwashington.

Since their shopping trip, Sam sees Emily more times in a week than she has ever seen her since middle school started. Em texts her during classes that they don’t share and sits with her in the classes that they do share, doodling pictures on Sam’s notes and swapping jackets (because they’re the exact same size!). After school, they hang around the mall and sip smoothies and Sam tells her about her parents’ messy marriage and Emily tells her about her love/hate relationship with her mother (she loves to hate her). It feels different, intimate and tender, not like her other friendships with girls. 

“Since when were you and Em so close?” Hannah asks, and she doesn’t know what to say. Jess is in the same boat, because she’s blowing up Emily’s phone every day, trying to figure out why she feels like she’s intruding whenever she hangs out with Sam and Em in a group. 

She’s eager to please, responding to each of Em’s texts immediately and never missing a FaceTime from her. She’s scared for the moment that her friendship (relationship?) will inevitably fall apart when one of them gets a boyfriend. But in the meantime, they share beds like children and swap clothes and Emily sends her i love you ! at the end of every night and she’s not sure if she means love or love . 

It seems all her thoughts are consumed with Em, because she’s beginning to send Elliot one word responses and it almost doesn’t hurt when she sees Josh walking around with a girl at school.

During spring break Em takes her on rides in her Lexus and they play loud music and pretend that they’re famous, honking at boys on the side of the road and sticking their tongues out when they call back to them. They shop down Rodeo, and despite being able to buy out a whole store with her dad’s credit card, she stuffs clothes in her bag and flirts with security guards to get away. It’s exhilarating being friends with her, like a drug with an endless high. Friends - maybe more. She doesn’t know. She’s never loved a girl before, but this is coming close to it. 

Sam doesn’t tell anyone that it’s her sixteenth birthday, but the twins know anyway. Hannah and Beth invite her for a sleepover, pretending like they have no idea, but surprise her with balloons and streamers strewn around the living room. They’re not doing much, just a girls night at the Washingtons’, but Sam’s heart still swells at the gesture. Emily and Jess make her a chocolate cake in the shape of a heart and We Love You Sam in bright red frosting, and they eat it together on the living room floor with plastic spoons. Something about the fact that Emily wrote her the words We Love You is flattering. She can’t tell whether she loves Emily too , or it’s just the fact that she’s so in awe of her that she doesn’t seem real. 

It’s the end of spring break, and Josh is nowhere to be seen. She didn’t expect him to come - obviously - it’s not a big party or anything anyway, just the girls sitting around and watching movies. Josh has an on-and-off girlfriend now – “I think they’ve been together the entire spring break,” Hannah says – a pretty girl named Liz who he’s always on the phone arguing with. He’s been with lots of girls, she’s sure, so Sam doesn’t know why this bristles her so much. 

They exchange texts every now and again; though not enough to constitute conversation - sometimes he sends her trailers to new horror movies he thinks they should see, and she sends him silly Instagram posts she imagines him chuckling at. Sam notices that whenever she texts him first, it’s with bated breath, only finding herself exhaling when he responds. It was nothing, though, she assured herself. Conversations between friends, if anything. When the conversations thin out to maybe a couple texts every few weeks, she realises it’s probably best to let it go. 

These days, she prefers to ignore him rather than get her heart riled up. They haven’t spoken in person lately. She can’t speak to him, not able to return his witty banter like she once used to. Sam can’t tell what’s between them, what’s wrong with them, why she hasn’t been able to talk to him properly since she got suspended last year for claiming his cigarettes were her’s. Sometimes when she feels her affections growing stronger for him, she piles over the feelings with overexertion. She’s been bouldering to take off the stress. 

The other day during her track meet, she saw him sitting on the bleachers and smoking a cigarette. His girlfriend, presumably, was next to him, arms crossed over her chest, each finger decorated with dark red nails. She’s so cool, in an effortless way, with a sheet of long dark hair down her back, so long that she could sit on it, and a cigarette in her own hand too. Josh is different now - he’s elusive and aloof and every time she sees him it’s like he’s on a completely different planet. Sam immediately runs a self-conscious down her shirt to smooth it out - she was comparably not cool, in her track team t-shirt and baggy shorts. He raised a hand to wave at her. Sam kept running. 

They’d run into each other at the Washington house last week - she was on her way out while he had just arrived home. 

“Sam-my!” he calls, raising a hand to high five her. He seems reinvigorated from the last time she saw him; his eyes are brighter and he’s got a wide smile plastered on his face. “I haven’t seen you in ages.” 

She doesn’t know why, but she ducks under his hand, mentioning something under her breath about needing to wake up early for track tomorrow. 

On the other hand, she can’t tell whether randomly thinking about a girl all the time means you have a crush on them. But she finds herself thinking about Emily every now and then, wondering what she’s doing and whether she’s thinking about the late nights they spent during spring break together. Sam doesn’t think she knows how to separate platonic love from romantic love. Actually, she doesn’t even know if there’s a difference. But whenever Em passes her by in the hallways and blows her a kiss or squeezes her on the arm, or sends her a snap of her outfit of the day, it makes her heartbeat quicken. Attention from Emily is different- it makes you feel special and chosen , like you’re the coolest girl in the world . Nonetheless, whether crush or not, she's glad because it puts Josh out of her head for a while. 

Jess sneaks a bottle of her mother’s red wine in her handbag, so they drink themselves to giggles - sans Sam, of course, who only has a couple, making sure they’re all being safe and tucking them into bed at the end of the night. By one in the morning, all the girls are tangled in each other in front of the TV, Jess and Emily sharing the couch and the twins and Sam on the pull-out mattress. Emily’s on her phone while Jess and the twins are fast asleep. Sam clears out the empty pizza boxes and glass bottles and makes her way to the kitchen, being sure to sweep the crumbs off the floor before she gets to bed. 

She’s cleaning up the kitchen counter and Emily drops a big black Saks bag in front of her. “I didn’t get to give you your birthday present.” 

Sam laughs. “Aw, Em, you shouldn’t have.” 

She sifts through the tissue paper and then, in protective plastic, she sees it- the navy blue satin of the dress she tried on. It's like there are magnets behind her lips, sticking her hands to her mouth. It’s the most expensive gift she’s ever received - and probably the most beautiful one too. Sam has to run her hands over the fabric once more to confirm to herself that it’s real. 

A twinge of guilt echoes through her stomach. She’s not like the other girls in the Hills, in the sense that she can’t so simply drop two thousand dollars on a dress for a friend’s birthday. She’s not like the other girls who can just get their father’s driver to pick her up from school instead of having to walk to the bus stop. It’s times like these that she feels so alien to the twins, Emily and Jess. “Emily. I can’t take this.” 

“It was nothing. It’s your birthday .” Em picks at her nails and shrugs. Sam’s suddenly aware of how the Tiffany bracelet that hangs off her wrist glints in the light. Sam doesn’t say anything. 

“ God, Sam. It’s a token for how much I care about you, or whatever, okay?” 

It’s something about this sentence that makes hot tears well up in her eyes. Sam reflexively wraps her arms around Emily’s shoulders and squeezes her tight. “You’re crazy . Thank you Em, seriously.” 

Emily only pushes her off softly and laughs. “Don’t be dramatic.” 

Sam sits up on the barstool beside her and crosses one leg over the other. Em’s phone is lying face down on the counter, but it buzzes every few seconds so that the vibrations are like a steady drum. She looks annoyed, and puts her phone on silent before stuffing it into her pocket. 

“Okay, miss popular,” Sam jokes, kicking her foot lightly. 

Em rolls her eyes. “ Ugh . Please. High school boys are losers.” 

“So you’re going to the dance alone, then?” Sam figures she would much rather spend time dancing with Emily all night than standing around in awkward silence with Elliot. 

“I don’t know, that Mike guy from French is kinda cute.” She pulls out her phone and opens up his account. There’s not much, just a mirror selfie of him shirtless and a picture with some friends by the pool. Sam doesn’t know what everyone sees in him - Em could do so much better. “He’s such a whore though. Anyways, what about your boy toy?”

Sam shuffles in her seat and pulls her legs up close to her so that she’s hugging her knees. “If I tell you, will you promise not to judge me?” 

“Bitch. Have you met me?”

She hesitates, for a bit. 

“ Sam ! Come on, you have to tell me now.” 

Sam takes a deep breath. She’s still a little woozy from the alcohol, but whatever’s left of it in her system gives her the courage to say things that she would never usually admit. “I don’t even think I like Elliot that much.” 

“Oh my god, you tease ,” Emily slaps her jokingly. “Okay, so who were you talking about when we played Never Have I Ever?”

Earlier that night, her only finger down in Never Have I Ever was for Hannah’s question - never have I ever loved a guy before. Typical Hannah, the hopeless romantic. Sam didn’t mean to, but her finger went down reflexively. She still loved Josh, despite every moment they spent not talking – the feelings were still there, no matter how hard she tried to separate herself from them. Jess and Em started teasing her about Elliot, but the twins, all the wiser, raised their eyebrows at her.

Hannah corners her in her bedroom that night, when she’s grabbing her stuff. “Tell me you don’t love my brother.” 

Sam stops what she’s doing and looks at her, mouth agape. She’s come to realise that she’s never had this conversation with her before. “ Well- -” 

“There is no chance the guy you love is Elliot, you don’t even know his favourite colour!” 

She’s worried that Hannah would be annoyed, but she’s looking at Sam with the biggest smile on her face.

“ Han !” Sam groans, and covers her face with her pillow. “It’s not like that. Not anymore. It was like, ages ago. He has a girlfriend now anyway.” 

Hannah rolls her eyes and smacks her on the head with a pillow. “He only got a girlfriend because he was getting over you, dummy!” 

When she says that, Sam feels like her heart has frozen up and then been smashed to a million pieces. It feels like pins and needles have covered every surface of her body, crept up her spine and into her head. “He liked me?” 

Right now she’s not thinking about Emily, but thinking of him. 

“I thought you knew !” 

Sam stuffs her face in the pillow and groans. “Oh my god , I’m such an idiot.”

“Stop. For real? I knew it.” When she tells Em that it’s Josh, her hands fly to her face and she gasps. “You guys always act so weird whenever you hang out.” 

“And you know what’s even more insane?” Sam giggles and closes her eyes, tilting her head back. “I haven’t even kissed anyone yet.” 

“Sam! No way.” 

“Like I have no idea — how do you know your teeth aren’t gonna clash or anything?” She feels a little stupid, but it makes her happy to tell someone. Sam’s been pretending to Jess and Em that she kissed someone back at summer camp when she was fourteen for the last two years. 

Emily raises her eyebrows, and looks down at her lips, then back at her eyes. Of course, she’s probably thinking about how childish it is that she’s sixteen and never been kissed. Em’s probably kissed tons of guys, in the back of cars or in bedrooms at parties, things that Sam could never have the courage to do. Sam braces herself for the reaction - she’s always thinking about what Emily’s thinking, thinking about whether she’s judging her secretly or not. What she said next is the last thing that Sam expected. 

“Let me show you, okay?” 

Sam is at a loss for words. It’s like her heart beat has stopped and steadied to a slow, agonising pace that makes her feel like she’s submerged under water. She’s trying to formulate something, but Em quickly adds —

“But don’t get all lezzy up on me bitch.” The word makes her grimace. Her breathing is all that her brain can focus on. “I’m just showing you how it is.” 

She doesn’t want to confront whatever feelings might be there for Emily. It’s all muddled up in her head, and bringing another person into the equation would only make it worse. She can’t even make sense of her feelings for Josh or Elliot. But her pull is so strong that it makes her entire body feel like it’s on fire. 

“Okay, show me,” she says quietly.

It’s slow and soft and the world seems quiet, like it’s stopped to make time for this moment. They lock eyes before Emily leans in and drags Sam’s hair out of her face. Her lips are sweet with the taste of alcohol and lip gloss, and it’s like flowers have bloomed out of her heart and up her throat. When she pulls away it’s abrupt and Emily’s looking into her eyes like it was the funniest thing to have ever occurred. 

“Oh my god , Sam!” Emily’s giggling and tossing her hair back. “I can’t believe we just did that.” 

After Emily kisses her, there’s nothing else she can think about. It takes her everything not to grab her face and do it again. She’s not sure if she likes Emily or if she likes kissing, but she finds herself replaying the memory over and over in her head until it’s burned into her brain. 

She gets a phone call a couple of days later, it’s nine o’clock at night, and she’s getting ready to go to bed. Sam picks up the phone and sets it down on the table as she changes into her pyjamas. 

“Hey, Sam,” Emily’s voice crackles through the phone and she feels her heart quicken. 

“Hey Em,” she tried to appear nonchalant and occupied. “What’s up?” 

“I just wanted to say… I’m seeing Mike now.” 

It’s like the universe doesn’t want Sam to win. Like love isn’t in the cards for her, like it’s never been, not for girls like her who have to pick up the pieces of shattered hearts all around her and stick them back together.  

“Oh… Oh, okay. Wow, um- that’s great Em!” She tries her best to sound enthusiastic for her friend. Yes, her friend - that’s what she was. 

“No hard feelings, right Sam?” she says. “I just … Like, I don’t like girls like that. I just wanted to see what it was like… You get it, right?” 

It feels like somebody has shot her a million times. 

“Oh, um, yeah- No, totally, I was thinking the same thing.” 

“Yeah, we were so drunk the other night, right?”

Sam tries to bite back the sting of rejection. “Mm, yeah, soo drunk.” 

The sound of her fan hums in the background. It drags out the pause between their conversation even longer.

“Anyways, um. We’re still getting ready together at Hannah’s on Friday, right?”

“Yeah, I’ll see you there!” It takes all of her to infuse enthusiasm into her words so that Em can’t hear her voice cracking. 

“Okay, well… I’ll talk to you later.” Another long pause. “Love you, Sam.” 

She hangs up. 

How do you tell someone that you’re heartbroken, without there never being a relationship in the first place? She can’t confide in anyone – nobody knows about her and Emily except Emily, and she can’t bring herself to verbalise anything that happened. It’s like their time together was sacred, and bringing it to light will only destroy it. Sam needs Hannah. She FaceTimes her, and then calls her, and then calls her again and no answer. She wants the ground to swallow her whole, she wants the walls to close in on her and give her a hug and tell her it’s going to be alright. 

Her phone begins to buzz and she quickly picks it up, wiping the tears from her face with the back of her hand. “Han?” 

“Sam?” It’s not Hannah, but Josh. “Sorry, Han’s in the shower. I hope you don’t mind that I picked up, I just, uh, thought it was important because you called a few times.” 

He looks at her closely, and his face morphs into concern. “Oh shit, Sam?! Are you okay? Why are you crying?” 

She can’t say anything, just stuffs her face into her arm. “No, no, I’m fine. It’s fine. Just tell Hannah I need her.” 

“Fuck, Sam,” his eyebrows are furrowed, and he runs a hand through his hair. “I’m coming over there, okay?”  

That night, Josh picks her up and they sit in the theatre room at the Washington Estate, watching old horror movies all night. Hannah and Beth bracket her and the three of them share the one heated blanket and snacks, but they go up to bed after midnight. Josh doesn’t leave her side once, except to move into the empty space that Hannah had left when she goes up to her bedroom. She doesn’t want to talk, and he doesn’t ask questions, but the twins find them the next morning tangled in each other, Josh with an arm around her and Sam sleeping in his lap. It's like no matter how much the universe wants to separate them, they'll always find their way back to each other, like there's an invisible elastic tying them together, snapping back into place when it stretches too far. 

[greenbergwrites]

This isn’t really a question but I just wanted to let you know that you made me fall in love with reading again. A few years ago you gave book rec for Kiki Clark and I gave it shot cause it was free lol and omg. I went from reading 2 or 3 full length five a year to like 200 books and getting involved in such wonderful communities too! Idk i was just thinking today about comfort authors and books i constantly reread (mine is the kincade pack books, like every 6 months lol) and i never would have found them without you. i hope you are doing well and continue to share you writing with the internet, and if you have anymore book recs i wouldn’t complain

;_; <3

This was such a nice message to wake up to this morning, thank you for it, genuinely. I know I can get a little obsessive when I'm really into something so I try not to annoy the masses but it's HARD when something gets me hype

I haven't read any new books in the past couple of months, I've been neck-deep into 9-1-1 fic since probably August, BUT I do have this page set up to showcase what I own physical copies of

Some of them are not very well-written but I found them compelling in one way or another. Compelling enough that I read them more than once, hence why I have the physical copy.

Some specific recs for stuff I really liked:

If you want fluff: Stella Starling's books, but I especially love the Semper Fi duology and the last book in the Delicious series, Promise, is one I think about a lot. It does feature characters from another book series but it shouldn't be too confusing, I think. It's all contemporary romance, but it's so cute, too <3

If you want something similar to the Kincaid Pack series: the Wolves of Kismet by Sam Burns is one of my favorites and they also have another series with WM Fawkes called Wolf Moon Rising.

If you want fluffy dark romance: Onley James, but specifically her Necessary Evils series. It has two different spin-off series, Jericho's Boys and The Watch. A new book just came out for the JB series which I haven't read yet but I'm looking forward to and the Watch series has a book coming out next month.

The Temptation series by Ella Frank, but listen to me: I URGE you to experience this one through the audiobooks. The narrator is amazing.

Another audiobook I love: the Quarterback by Mackenzie Blair. You can actually only find this one on audiobook anymore, but I do have this as a physical book, too, because my dad somehow found it available somewhere? idek how he achieved that but it's a great book and the guy who narrates this book is one of my favorites. I'll try just about anything if he's the one reading it.

Cole McCade is another author I think you should check out. Their prose is flowery and purple sometimes, but their characters are unique and interesting and very engaging. Criminal Intentions is a detective series, so the plot is heavy, but CM did write an AU of the characters where one owns a bakery and it's like a nice warm hug on a winter day. It's called Bitter + Sweet, I don't have time to link all the stuff I'm talking about, but I will link that.

OH. And last rec before I have to go back to work: Robin Moray!! They have an Omegaverse alien book which I love, a pack series of which the fourth one is my all-time favorite and the only one I usually reread, and under the name RJ Moray, they write the His Boy Next Door and Collar For His Brat series which is a long-running kink-focused series which I love.

And if you have any questions about any specific book on my shelf, feel free to ask! I love rambling about the stuff I read

[number1mingyustan]

The Storm☾ ✹

exbf!taehyun x fem!reader

Warnings: kissing, cursing, marking, explicit smut, fingering (f.), squirting, scratching, unprotected sex (missionary), multiple orgasms, infidelity, toxic relationships

Summary: Surely there's a rainbow after every storm, right?

Word Count: 2.5k

_______________________________________________

Taehyun leans against the door frame with a frown. His arms are crossed and you can see the tired in his eyes. He's only wearing a pair of grey sweatpants and a black wifebeater, making his muscles more prominent due to the lack of fabric covering him. "I really don't understand why you came here," he sighs.

The rain taps against the window heavily. It's dark outside the heavy rain is resounding through his apartment. The air in the room is thick and drawing breath out of you each passing moment.

"I had nowhere else to go," You say.

That's a bullshit lie and he can see right through it. He knows you all too well.

There's a moment of silence before he sighs again. "Whatever you say Y/n." He turns around to fully walk out the door. "I'm sleeping on the couch."

"You're not gonna sleep in here?" You ask.

He turns back around and runs a hand through his silver hair. "No, I'm not. You're sleeping in here and I'm gonna take the couch."

"But this is your bed."

"I know that Y/n."

"So why are you choosing to sleep in the couch when your bed is right here?" You question.

"You know it's a bad idea, the two of us in the same bed. Let's just spare ourselves from making things messy, okay?"

It was a bad idea just for you to come here. You knew that, but of course it didn't stop you.

The past six months haven't been easy for you. He knows this, considering this is far from your first visit back to his place since you two finally called it quits all those months ago.

It took you two and a half weeks to end up back here after you broke up. You were gone before the sun came up because the guilt started eating away at you, but still found yourself coming back every few weeks.

He's like a drug.

Something you need to feel better, even if the high only lasts for a little while. Something that you get addicted to easily, you crave it more and more the longer you don't have it and require higher doses to retrieve the same feeling it once gave you.

Something that slowly eats away at your body and kills you the more you go back to it.

But like any other addict, you couldn't stop yourself from coming back.

It's been about two months since you last showed up at his door. This time you took an uber here in the middle of the night while it was pouring outside. Told him they were fuming the entire apartment for bugs and you had nowhere to go. It was mostly true... aside from the having nowhere to go part.

However this time, he wasn't as inviting toward you. Circumstances have changed.

Your ex boyfriend has a new girlfriend.

She's nice and she's pretty and she loves baking treats for him. She works at a bakery and that's how they met a short time ago. She's cute and pure hearted, but she's boring. All in all, she's better for him than you are by a mile.

As much as Taehyun knows you, you know him too.

They won't last, you're sure of it. She's a nice girl yeah, but she's not you. You always put up a fight and never back down. You don't make things easy for him and while it may piss him off, he craves it.

It's part of what made your relationship so toxic, but it's also a large part of what created the spark between you.

No matter how much he liked her, she would never fully satisfy him the way he craved. She was too nice, she just agreed with and giggled at everything he said. There was no resistance and push back from her. Things were easy with her, too easy.

It was something he may have needed to fill the time, but Kang Taehyun has never been a simple person. They've only been going out for 2 months but you know he's already bored of her.

"Baby..."

"Don't call me that. You and I aren't together anymore," he snaps.

"You didn't mind it last time I came over."

"Last time you came over I didn't have a girlfriend."

"Now that's a bullshit reason if I ever heard one. You won't sleep with me because you don't trust yourself enough, not because you actually give a shit about that whore."

He darts over to where you're sitting on his bed and grabs your chin firmly, forcing you to look him in the eyes. You hold your breath and tense up. "Don't talk about her like that. You don't know her or my relationship."

"I know you though." You grit.

He releases your chin with a scoff. "Let's not forget where you are. You're in my apartment wearing my clothes, I could make you put your wet clothes back on and kick you out right now if I wanted to. Stop playing with fire."

"You and I both know that won't happen," You challenge.

He doesn't bother entertaining you anymore and he shuts the bedroom door and leaves. It pisses him off that you're right. He knows he can't kick you out and that he doesn't trust himself enough to be alone with you because he's still in love with you.

Sort of.

It's complicated.

Everything with you is complicated. The 3 years you spent with each other reflects nothing but bad habits and bad decisions. He's hurt you and you’ve hurt him back too many times. Things were never easy with you the way they are with her.

You sigh and tuck yourself under the covers of his bed.

It’s easy to reminisce on the good times and forget about the bad ones. You can’t help yourself, romanticizing what once was and never will be again. It’s easier to think about the good things and not how he cheated on you multiple times.

It’s easier to not think about the time that you gave him the silent treatment for two weeks straight after you found him texting other girls yet you still let him fuck you.

You still romanticize the happy days and God forbid you think about all the time you spent crying and apologizing to him when he was the one in the wrong.

Its pathetic really, that you still find yourself running back to him after all the shit he did to you and has moved on. You can't help yourself, you're an addict. It's partially his fault that you're like this, he made you this way.

___________

It’s 4:28 am when Taehyun finds himself standing outside the door of his own bedroom. He knows he shouldn’t be standing here right now, but he’s like a moth drawn to a flame.

There are a million thoughts racing through his mind right now, most of them about how he shouldn't be doing this right now. You're part of his past, a bad part of it. He's got a good future, a promising one with a sweet girl that he actually likes. She's so good to him and she's not you. But that's the problem, she's not you. He's spent so much time hurting you and hurting himself that he can't pull himself out of his old habits.

He's got something good going for him right now, but you just keep popping up. Once you get in his head, you never leave and he can never just let go. That's not how things are with you.

He turns the doorknob slowly and steps inside. He closes the door behind him and walks over to your sleeping frame. His knee dips into the bed and he pushes your hair out of your face to get a good look at you.

You scrunch your nose when he does so and he finds himself smiling at your antics. "Wake up," he says.

You groan, stirring in your sleep a bit. He shakes you lightly and repeats himself. "Y/n wake up."

He pushes the covers down off your body. You whine and open your eyes slowly. You're still processing your surroundings as you start coming into your senses. "W-What?"

"C'mere," He sits down on the bed and pulls you onto his lap you're straddling him.

Your thighs are parted on either side of his and you wipe your eyes. "Tae?"

"Shhh," He hushes you and presses his lips to yours.

It's raining harder now outside. Loud crashes of thunder echo through the air and flashes of lighting illuminate the room through the curtains.

Like second nature, you find yourself kissing him back without hesitation. His hands grips your waist softly, holding you steadily in his lap as he kisses you.

You melt like butter under his touch, moving against him with ease. You're so used to him, you really don't know if you'll ever be able to stop yourself from coming back.

It's bad, it's so bad. But everything about him is so familiar that you can't accept any change that cuts him out. He'll always have your heart, no matter what.

His fingers trail along the dress shirt you're borrowing from him. He undoes the buttons slowly before sliding the fabric off your shoulders and onto the floor.

He lifts you up off his lap without breaking the kiss and lays you down on the bed. His lips trail from your down to your neck where he begins sucking on your skin. He mumbles, "Mine... always mine" as he leaves dark hickies along your skin.

You let out a soft moan when his fingers dip into your panties. His finger circles your clit and he smirks against your skin as he feels his fingers start to grow damp.

Your eyes fall shut and you let out small gasps as he toys with your clit. "Tae... need more" you plead.

You didn't have to tell him, he was well aware. He lifts his head so he can get a better look at you before he pulls your panties off and pushes a finger into your soaked cunt.

"Shit..." You gasp.

He licks his lips as he watches you. He draws his finger in and out of you before adding another. He watches as your face contorts in pleasure as you soak his digits.

He curls his fingers inside of you, causing you to let out a loud moan. It only encourages him to continue his ministrations faster. He'll never get tired of this. Watching you is always a beautiful sight to see.

"C'mon pretty girl... you know what I want from you," he breathes out.

You squeeze your eyes tighter and not in agreement. You're a moaning mess beneath him, falling apart with just his fingers. His fingers thrust into you faster, drawing you closer and closer to the high you're chasing.

He curls his fingers again, making you curse out and arch your back up off the bed. His fingers press against the one spot that does it for you every time.

The loud thunder crashes again outside and the rain seems to be hitting against the window even harder.

You finally reach your high, crying out his name and pushing your hips into his fingers. Your whole body shudders and he pulls his fingers out swiftly and watches as the rush of fluid soaks his bed.

He looks down at you, a smirk plastered on his face so wide that you can see even in the dark. "That's my girl.." he compliments.

You're panting beneath him, hardly able to open your eyes fully. The lightning flashes again, illuminating his entire frame above you. There's a weary look of lust in his eyes.

He rids himself of his clothes and hovers above you. His breath fans against your lips and you feel the tip of his cock press against your entrance. He's extremely hard and throbbing against you.

Desire.

It's a concept that makes you sick when you lack self control. People desire what they can't have and it's often that they would be better off without it. Knowing this of course only makes the desire grown, feeling more like a need than a want.

That's where irreversible damage is done.

He pushes the tip of he length into you, filling you up slowly. He watches your face as it contorts, accommodating to his length. It's been so long since you found yourself under him, but he fits you like a mold.

You're wet enough that he has no trouble filling you up. He's fully inside of you, cock nuzzled between your walls like a home. You always take him so well, like you were truly made for each other.

You both moan out when he draws his hips back and pushes back into you with more force. It's so intimate, having him those close to you after this long.

"Fuck-mmph" you curse out.

His holds himself up on his arms, defined biceps bulging from his skin as he fucks you full force. You always liked it rough. He didn't even have to ask, he knows you so well.

He places your legs on his shoulders, shifting the angle he's fucking you at to drill into you harder and deeper. It's an inexplicable pleasure that has your toes curling and your nails digging into his back.

The wind picks up pace, escalating the storm taking place outside. The loud thunder continues to crash and the hard raindrops pour down against the windows.

Neither of you are going to last much longer, it feels too good. His cock brushes against your sweet spot with precision, leaving you moaning pornographically beneath him. Your cunt tightens around him as he drills you into another mind-blowing orgasm.

It draws his orgasm out of him. He fucks you through it sloppily, hips moving erratically without any sense of rhythm as both your highs course through your bodies.

He fills you up like always, pumping his cum inside of you as your body spasms and twitches. He breathes heavily and pulls out slowly. The two of your cringe at the loss of warmth and he falls onto the bed next to you. The two of you are tucked under the covers once again.

The room falls silent for what feels like a lifetime. The post-sex clarity has started to hit and you both realize how much to just fucked up. The rain isn't as heavy anymore and the thunder is no longer resounding and filling the space. It's dark again with no lightning glowing through the windows.

The storm outside settles down as the guilt starts to settle in. It's still raining out, but your heart tightens with regret almost immediately. It's like the feeling of a relapse from being clean. You know he feels it too, the guilt.

The two of you lay there in complete silence, facing away from each other in the bed. There's no way you can look at him, not after it's all settled in.

There's nothing left to do but lay there with the gut-wrenching feeling churning in both your insides and hope a rainbow appears after the storm.

_______________________________________________

© number1mingyustan - Do not repost without permission.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AiTA for not wanting my friends at my booth anymore?

I (29 F) have been trying to get started as an artist at our local conventions. So I found a few friends willing to booth share so we could split the table cost. I always put the down payment on the table for cons in full.

The first year was really hard. People haven't shown as much interest in my fandom merch as I had thought they would (prints/keychains/etc).

They (25) make bags by hand (non fandom related). They're cute items, but people don't show as much interest in them.

The first year we boothed together they were late to the con, and to when the vendor hall opened, and to when I had set times I needed a break from the booth, and wasn't answering their phone. When they have been on booth duty, they spend all their time on their phone and don't talk to attendees unless people ask them questions.

I had a convo abt how disappointed I was with the lack of communication and them being late months after the con. They said they'd work on it and I tried to make it clear that this was my booth (since it's my money we're gambling with). I didn't mind renting out space on it. I had already promised them they'd have space at the table this year, so I didn't push the issue further, but I made it clear if we were to keep being friends I couldn't be in a position where I relied on them professionally. They said they understood, but we had been drinking when talking abt it.

This year, they were late to set up again. They brought people not involved with the booth to sit with us without asking me. So there was four people and my partner didn't feel comfortable being the fifth even though though my partner was the one that helped with set up the day prior. They were an hr late to dinner plans with us that night with 0 notice for an important phone call (their partner found out abt the DBZ guy dying. That was the importaht call) They didn't show up today until 2 hrs after open today with no notice of what was going on (they're rooming with 2 other people that have my # and were at the booth day 1) supposedly due to a migraine, but I know they drink hard after con closes. They have been there when I needed a break and responded when I asked where they were, they've had matching cosplays with me all con and it's all things I'm into. I can see they genuinely tried compared to last year.

Then my partner thought they heard them complaining about me while I was on lunch break today. (I only got food for my family/SO during the 2 hrs their half of the booth people was MIA. I assumed they were getting their own food in that time. Since yesterday they had food before showing up and didn't want lunch). And I had included them in my paid cosplay shoot without asking for them to chip in.

I spent way more money on the table this year literally the day we drove up to the con (long story, but point is I locked in the space, they weren't involved in getting table space this year) It's turned out better than before against all odds. I broke even day 2 not including their sales.

Then they were talking abt how next year they want more table space to take commissions and bring more stuff and be "more involved" with the table. I don't want that. It's like they don't remember agreeing it was my table at the end of last year.

I'm known for being flat/blunt when I'm upset. And at this point it's gone passed inexpeirience to just not thinking abt this as work.

Last year we agreed they'd give me $50 or what sales they made and this year it looks like they won't sell enough to make it to the $50. If I don't take their cut, I know my SO will be frustrated with me for being a push over and them for not following through on our agreement.

Idk how to firmly establish the boundary that it's my table and I don't want them having any more space/control over it without them saying I'm the asshole. I think it would be shitty to do that after demanding all their sales, but idk when to bring it up. It's also their birthday week this week.

I don't mind renting space, but at this point they don't understand that's what they are doing and I'm kind of done. This is our 2nd year doing this convention together, but my 4th table. My partner's furious with them abt the whole thing. I just want the freedom of making choices with my booth without being disappointed by people who say they care about it, then act like working the booth isn't a job.

AITA? Is there a way to not have them less involved with the booth next year without coming off as an asshole?

What are these acronyms?

[imightgetbetter]

smells like you

surprise! she's back! i had this idea and a very slow day at work so i am writing and working and having a grand ole time. i love this concept and it makes my heart feel so warm and tingly. also, i really want to get back into writing on my week off so i'd love some concepts if you all want to chat about matty and the band and literally anything. i just want to write. i haven't been online posting in a while and tumblr loves to silence me so if you could reblog and share it, i would love you forever and ever. i love you all. thanks for being the best in my two months off.

“My pillow smells like you,” he says quietly, his voice low as the moonlight pours in through the windows beside the bedside table. “I don’t even know how that’s possible because you didn’t sleep on my pillow last night.”

“I switched the pillows when I made the bed this morning,” you say, a soft smile pulling at the corners of your lips. It’s mid-afternoon, and the time difference from London to Los Angeles killing you slowly, but there was no way around it, not with a dinner meeting and publishing meetings all morning the following day. You pushed the flight out until you couldn’t possibly push it anymore, not wanting to leave London and your friends, and arguably more importantly, Matty, who’s been living in your apartment for nearly a month, at this point in time. “I figured you’d go back there after you dropped me off.”

“It’s close to the studio,” Matty argues, shrugging his shoulders and leaning further into the plush, white pillow. It’s not close to the studio. It’s actually further from the studio than the apartment that he shares with the guys, right now, while they’re making the album. Matty refused to leave for more than twelve hours at a time though, claiming that he couldn’t get a ‘proper night’s sleep’ there, saying it was ‘too drafty’ or ‘too busy.’

Not that you minded all that much. It was always nicer to have him around. “Hm, is it?”

“Shut up, Sally.”

“I’m this close to breaking up with you over the phone,” you tease, leaning back against the headrest of the backseat in the uber. “I hate when you call me Sally.”

“No, you don’t, darling. If you actually hated it, I would know, and I wouldn’t call you that. You get that cute little smile every time I call you that. That’s how I know you’re lying.”

You roll your eyes, trying desperately to push the smile away that’s aching your cheeks. He does it so naturally, you wonder how you went all those years ignoring your feelings, ignoring him. Having him around in such a different capacity now, it’s hard to imagine what it would ever be like to go back to before, knowing what you know, feeling what you have felt. You say that to him, that you wouldn’t know what you’d do without him, and he always argues that you’d go back to doing the same thing as before.

That’s the problem, though, isn’t it, that you simply couldn’t live with yourself knowing what you have now and having to go back to before. It simply wouldn’t be what you want. You’d be living in misery.

“Fine,” you smirk, turning your head and looking out the window. All the major corporate headquarters line the drive and you find yourself in amazement at the sight. All through your time at university, it never occurred to you that one day this would be your life, in so many ways – seeing it this way, for work, and seeing it through Matty’s eyes, through tour.

“How are you so beautiful?”

Matty’s words pull you out of your daydream. “What?”

“You’re so beautiful. I don’t know how I got so lucky.”

“Stop,” you say, brushing your hair behind your ear and haphazardly hiding behind your hands, the blush on your cheeks complimented by the heat outside. “I miss you.”

“It’s only been,” Matty pauses to check the time, “sixteen hours and thirteen minutes. How could you miss me?”

“You have to stop counting how long we’ve been apart,” you laugh, shaking your head. He’s done this a few times now, usually when you leave, and it always makes your heart twist. He doesn’t give you butterflies, you’ve found, the anxious feeling when you don’t know how someone feels or what they’re going to say next. Instead, you feel it in your heart, every word, every profession of love, you feel it deep in your chest, your heart moving with his sentiments. “It makes it worse, Matty.”

“I count because then it doesn’t seem so tough to be without you, again. Sixteen hours doesn’t seem so bad when I used to go months and months without seeing you. It’s a manageable feat.”

“You make it impossible to write love stories, you know.”

“How is that?”

“Because! How am I supposed to create a fictional love interest for a character when you are there writing the damn script?”

“You make it easy, darling.”

“How so?”

“I just tell you all the things on my mind. I don’t hesitate with you. I know I’m safe to share all my thoughts and you’ll keep them close to you. I don’t have to worry.”

There it is. Always generous with his thoughts and emotions. Matty never ceases to say things that make your heart clench up in your chest. It’s a feeling that’s new, untouched. It’s not something you’ve felt before and you’re uncovering more about it every day – the way it makes your chest feel like your ribs are closing in, but it doesn’t hurt, the way you feel tingling all through your nerves when you touch him, the way you crave kiss after kiss, never having enough. Each thing you experience with Matty is brand new, something you never thought would happen, a pleasant surprise.

“I love you,” you say, dreadfully looking at the hotel rearing in your vision. “I am almost at the hotel, I have to go soon. I need to freshen up before I have this dinner.”

“And I can’t see?”

“Matty!”

“It’s been too many hours since I’ve seen you naked, darling. You can’t blame a man when you look like that. Have you seen yourself in the mirror lately?”

You shake your head. He’s always like this, from the moment you two got together in your tiny New York apartment, he has been unable to keep his hands away from you. Not that you mind all that much, but the incessant reminders are beginning to sound endearing. “I will call you from the hotel room, okay?”

“Do I get to see?” Matty quirks his eyebrows upwards and smiles at you.

“You’re a child.”

“I would like to see, darling. I’m nothing but a man. A simple, simple man.”

You can’t hide the smile when you look at him, the tight-lipped smile and dreamy eyes only sharing half the smirk you know you would be getting if you were standing in front of him. He’s insatiable, and very hard to say no to. “Fine. Once I get into my hotel room, I will call you.”

“I love you, Sally.”

“I love you, too.”

“I love you, what?”

“I love you, you pain in my ass.” Matty laughs, and it’s the sweetest sound you’ve ever heard. “I’ll call you in a few. I miss you.”

“I miss you more, darling. Hurry back, will you?”

[thetomorrowshow]

Whumptober Day 16 - Necrosis

title: knowledge of good and evil

fandom: hermitcraft smp

this is a continuation of day 12: starvation :))

~

“Can you feel this?”

“No.”

“You’re sure? It doesn’t hurt?”

Cleo sighs, something angry—something resigned in their tone. “No, Joe. Nothing.”

They aren’t right. They aren’t right, and it’s all your fault.

Cleo’s older than you, but she isn’t, but she is. She always knows right, and you should’ve listened to her because that’s what she likes.

You shouldn’t have made her eat the apple.

You shouldn’t have made her help you, all the way back when she was so young.

But in the intervening years, Cleo’s become the best friend you’ve ever had, and you just can’t make yourself let go of them.

You’re a loner, as far as the Summer Court goes—even among the most benevolent of fae, humans are rarely more than a cute lower lifeform—and an outcast among the Winter Court, but you haven't cared much about that in years.

They called you unnatural. Wrong. More human than fae.

You aren't. You're far too fae for the humans.

You can pinpoint where this all started. When the human child came to help you, and you shapeshifted to match her age. Which isn't to say you were an adult at that time, but you weren't a youngling, either. It had been . . . easier, to appeal to the child.

After that, it had been fun. Your family is solitary—and most of your family are Winters, anyhow, so you tend to be the only one hanging around in the summer—and it had become routine to play with the child. You told yourself, at first, that it was a favor in return for setting you free.

It was really just friendship.

You don’t know if Cleo will ever believe that again. Will they ever realize that they mean more to you than anyone or anything that you’ve ever met? That you’ve sacrificed every bit of social standing you might have had, just to keep their friendship?

But you lost them.

You lost them when they trusted you, you lost them in that awful labyrinth—some other creature had set it up, a strong Summer nymph, one that has always sneered at you during feasts—and you lost yourself there, too, and it took too many days to find them.

Long enough that Cleo’s clothes were rotting, her ribs stark through holes in her shirt, her feet bloodied and dirty, shoes entirely gone.

She was essentially dead. She should have been dead.

They must have drunk something. They must have found a stream of sorts along the way and drunk without even thinking of the implications, without doing anything to test the water.

She had long stopped carrying charms against the fae, after all.

It was the only option. Didn’t they see? You had to give her the apple. Held beyond death as she was, it was easy to sway the hold of the magic on her, let it give way to your magic.

The problem now is that Cleo is firmly, unshakably in the fae realm—and they still aren’t quite alive.

They don’t have a heartbeat anymore, even though she moves like she always has. She can run, and jump, and her fingers haven’t lost any of their sculptor’s dexterity. Their mind is still theirs, sharper than ever.

She doesn’t feel pain, though. You keep touching, anxiously, the sores that don’t seem to fade from their body, and they don’t react any further than to raise an irritated eyebrow.

Her skin is taken with the greyish pallor of death, her eyes dull and shadowed. Their fingernails are black, mold creeping under them. It was cruel of the nymph to keep them alive, crueler still that you now hold the power sustaining them.

“How long were we in there?” Cleo asks eventually, and you almost breathe a sigh of relief at a question you can most certainly answer.

“A month,” you say. Cleo slumps—but their voice is more cheerful than you expect.

“Cool. Means that my friends and family are still alive, I guess.”

“Do you want to go back to them?” you offer, your hind legs shifting halfway to horse legs at the thought.

“I . . . can I?”

You hesitate. “You can visit,” you say eventually. The way you do.

Cleo nods. “But I’m a part of . . . here, now.”

“I am so sorry, Cleo—I tried, I really—”

“I know,” Cleo cuts you off, her voice sounding more tired than ever. “You explained. Without any of your haikus or anything.”

You’d been as straightforward as possible. You didn’t want her to think that you might have been trying to hide something.

“Will I always be—?”

Cleo picks at their skin and it flakes away, grey flakes taking to the air.

You nod.

“I have some stuff going to keep you whole,” you say. “But you’re free to do what you want. I don’t—I don’t control you.”

“What am I?”

You click your tongue, contemplating. “You’re Cleo,” you say, first and foremost. “I mean, you aren’t necessarily fae, even if you’re on your way to becoming one. If I could make a humble suggestion, I’d say that you’ve got the potential to be a banshee. You aren’t, not yet.”

“But I’m not human.”

“. . . No.”

She gestures to herself. “Will I always be like this?”

“It’s more . . . metaphorical-like, you know? This is a transition stage. You aren’t . . . human, anymore. You aren’t fae. But your human skin is shedding, you might say.”

“Rotting.”

Cleo sniffs, turns away fully—but not before you catch the glimmer of a tear in their eye. You would give anything to be able to wipe it away.

Rotting.

She isn’t wrong. Cleo the human died in the labyrinth.

Rot, however, is a kind of life. Cleo might not see it yet, but you know they will. One day, they’ll find beauty in death and rebirth.

You hope they’ll forgive you by then.

You know you don’t deserve it.

[respondedinkind]

Quick (long) update.

|| I know I haven't been around in a hot minute, thought I'd give a quick update.

Sorry for vanishing like this, life has been a little wild recently; I started therapy a few weeks ago, next to me finding joy in a new game where I slipped into the fandom (rather hard lol) and realized that I am, right now, much happier with doing art and creating fics rather than RPing.

This might sound a little odd to some - but the thing is, my brain simply doesnt hold enough energy to do *all* the creative things I want to do. For example: RPing is incredibly fun but also *incredibly exhausting*, and whenever I put a lot of time into RPing, I am literally unable to do art or write fics. It's taking so much of my creative-energy-meter that it's empty quick, leaving me with being frustrated as I don't really get to create anymore.

So I decided to pursue creating art as well as writing fics for now, which means I basically vanished from RP tumblr in return. I know this might be frustrating to some - especially my writing partners - and I want to apologize for that, for said frustration I might have caused.

But it is what it is, and I am not going to change much about it anytime soon. I am actually feeling rather happy about being able to do art, write fics, and *not* worry about writing replies and possibly making partners wait. It's a sort-of-pressure that I've taken off of my own shoulders...

Which is needed right now as I, as mentioned, also started therapy. It's going to be a journey, and I was just diagnosed with general anxiety as well as depression (which could actually be a 'double-depression' on top of it, means it is a chronic depression as well as an 'episodic depression'). It feels... incredibly relieving, in a way, to finally have an official diagnosis and to know that yes, something IS going on with me, I am not just crazy in my head and/or lazy. However, the whole therapy-thing is only going to get harder from here on and I am already working on things that have been talked about, think about them in my head, work with what I have realized about myself and try to handle it.

I do have a whole diagnose-session going on in August for ADHD / Autism as well, which will *also* require a good chunk of my energy. So yeah, things are happening.

Long story short: I decided to put my priorities elsewhere for now, for my own mental health's sake, and my happiness. Reducing stress was *needed*, especially since I am only going to be more stressed while working on me, on my diagnosis, and on all the problems I finally want to be able to figure out and address, possibly solve. ---Something also happened in my private life a couple of months ago that basically, let's call it 'triggered', my sudden energy to finally ask for help after trying to handle everything for literal decades. So yeah. It's been a yeah so far lol.

I want to thank each and every single one of you for having been with me, RPed great stories, formed companionships over weeks and months; I won't delete this blog nor do I plan to 'archive it'. I'll just leave it like this and maybe, who knows, I will return to it (and my other blogs) at some point. I just don't want to put stress on me as in 'I will come back in x day / months', I'll just see where life takes me and when I find the energy to be here again, I will.

I love Khan, love Stephen, love Bones. I haven't lost my love for them, my attention is just elsewhere. (Including that cute game I have been playing, falling in love with some characters...)

I wish you all the best, sending you lots of vibes, happy thoughts, my eternal gratitude and some strength for whatever you need to deal with in your life. Remember that you are loved, that your thoughts are valid, that you are worth it. ♥

-waves-

PS: I do miss you, the people I formed friendships with. I miss you, our RPs, our conversations. In case we have been interacting much on here, but not actually exchanged other ways of staying connected besides tumblr - discord, for example - you are absolutely allowed to hit me up and I'll give you my discord. ♥

[chen-chen-chen-again-chen]

Friends! Hello, hi, hola! It's Wednesday and I'm here! I am finally, after several ice ages, slowly dipping my toes back into the world of My Good Egg, Good morning, good night, good morning AKA the SnowBaz kidnapping meet ugly/cute that turned into a dumb horny rom com.

Here's a snippet from Chapter 4 that I am honestly not sure will make it into the finished fic, but it's fun! Some info redacted for spoilers (if you haven't read Chapter 3):

“Does Simon know things?” Crowley, does Simon know the way that Baz has been lusting after him? Or how Baz has been - mooning over him? Which is more embarrassing?   “No, not necessarily. But he’s the easiest one for me to know, maybe because [REDACTED]. Like right now I know he’s still kind of hungry and he wishes we’d ordered more lime beef, and he’s worried you won’t want to have sex with him anymore because he used to be a disembodied chaos entity that was swallowing up all the magic in the world.”  “That’s-”  “I know you still want to have sex with him,” Winifred says, her gaze withering.

More musings about being back in this world behind the cut, but hello and thank you tags to folks who have tagged me in the past few weeks! (Months? Year?) @shemakesmeforget @ic3-que3n @bookish-bogwitch @nightimedreamersworld @j-nipper-95 @larkral @cutestkilla @aristocratic-otter @confused-bi-queer @imagineacoolusername @thewesterndoor

Y'all, past year has been... wild. It has been a journey. I looked back at this update post from October and then sort of laughed wildly, like, "Oh Baby Chen of the past, oh you sweet summer child."

But! I have finally been able to soften and ease myself back into this kind of writing. My Good Egg (as I call Good morning &c) has always been in the back of my mind, and I have felt so much shame and guilt about leaving that story hanging (see this post that feels like it was written in a different lifetime about why I don't usually post WIPs).

I facilitated a writers' circle yesterday and it was the most intensely fulfilling and joyful thing I have done in a very, very long time. And seeing the writers there, some of whom were sharing their work for the first time, being so fucking brave and honest and intimate and funny and revelatory and generous and so human, paying such loving attention to the world - it has helped me in this process of re-learning how to be brave with my own writing, again.

So here is a secret to tricking My Big Sad Brain. Instead of setting out with the goal "I am going to finish this fic," I am instead telling myself, "What if I just continue this process and see where it goes? What if I just try to get a little bit further than I was before? What if I just play with this silly little story, because it's fun and it gives me joy? What if I try to work out the questions through the story instead of trying to answer them?"

And that is helping, a lot. So as always a BIG THANK YOU to everyone who has touched this story in any way. Your kindness and lack of judgement and infinite patience is such a balm. I know that there are many who would say "You never need to finish it! Your health is more important!" or "Take as much time as you need!" And I am so, so grateful for that. I am so excited to share the rest of this story with you in the future.

Thank you. I love you all. ❤️❤️❤️

[missyblogs]

Saw folks doing selfship templates sooo hopping on the bandwagon with these two! unaltered OG can be found here! This expands on the aesthetic version I'm working on for my About Me because I have many Thoughts about these two that I haven't had the spoons to draw for and one tiny little box won't explain why they "both" cook ( the answer is Sporty does it more bc he cooks healthier, but Sophia brings the entire town to the yard on mac n cheese Mondays )

- The relationship not only comes very close to not happening but Sportacus also comes dangerously close to losing a friend for good. He was trying to be respectful, to keep a friendly distance because he wasn't sure Sophia felt the same way and didn't want to assume, but his plan to bite back his feelings for the sake of keeping her close backfired spectacularly when she took this as an implicit sign of rejection Note: he did not ever say no and they did not discuss dating. It was a topic neither of them broached. A + communication here, absolutely stellar /sarcastic - As an ADHDer with poorly treated symptoms, Sophia is unable to mask and is well aware that her heart is glued to her sleeve. She'll never be content with friendship but for at least the first two months she thinks she can pretend, for his sake. She can quietly fall apart when she thinks no one is looking. Cue Stephanie's 3rd try at an appreciation party and the realization that... the artist knows a lot about this guy that most people don't, but she actually can't be in the same room with him anymore. Not for something she helped plan so intricately, not for something made with a love that is eating her alive, not for something about him. If she hears him call her "friend" one more time she will Simply Die - Sophia has been rejected before. Publicly. Multiple Times. She would rather unceremoniously cut people out of her life than set herself up for that again and is fully prepared to do exactly that. - This goes about as well as expected with Sportacus, who is devastated at the thought of the person he adores more than anything else just,, not being in his life anymore... so when she starts avoiding him after the final time that he confirms "you are my friend", he takes it pretty hard - Robbie is LIVING for this... at first. He has no idea what brought on the change but he could have never dreamed that the thorn in his side could become such a soggy wet cat on main and he is soaking up his nemesis's misery, reveling in that delicious humiliation. He doesn't even NEED a Rotten Plan TM - He's not so excited, however, when his best friend stops sleeping, stops laughing, stops singing. She won't eat his cake anymore and he hasn't seen such a dark hopeless look in her eyes in years. She's hurting and he doesn't like THAT one bit - Stephanie to the rescue! She knows exactly what's up and cutely sets the pair up for a talk without telling the town storyteller - This is the first and one of the only times Sportacus sees Sophia angry and he is stunned. He had known something was off but he could never have imagined how he came across to her or how deeply she felt about him or just how much he hurt her without even knowing. - "We are NOT friends. I can't pretend, not when I've loved you my whole life" ( A slight exaggeration considering that she has known him three months, but it gets the point across that she's never been normal about him and suddenly he realizes exactly how bad the both of them have been at communicating. Oops ) - The rest of their relationship goes pretty smoothly up until Robbie connects the dots. Sophia has to get her scissors out again for a different person this time but that may or may not be an infodump for a different template >. > - Realistically she knows that Sportacus is not the type either of her exes were but you get lied to enough you learn not to trust people - He doesn't take it personally. He is pretty horrified when he hears the way she was treated before she moved across the pond though and it convinces him to take a closer look at his policy of trying to befriend people unconditionally. This also convinces him to strengthen his boundaries with the town and start teaching the kids about consent and the importance of ✨ honest conversation ✨ lest they also find themselves shrugging off being poisoned and smiling politely at being pressured into remote controlled shoes... or ghosted by their zing

[stevesxyellowxsweater]

Home

Pairing: genderless!reader x Eddie Munson

cw: none just a cute bit of fluff for a Monday afternoon... oh and shirtless Eddie

summary: Things haven't been going well with yours and Eddie's friendship since you got your new boyfriend. But when you need him, he's there.

author notes: Very short and sweet. Wrote this for a friend a while back when she was having a bad day. It's not as detailed as I'd like but there are possibilities for rewrite or a more detailed part two

Something wasn't right. You and Eddie have been good friends since you were eleven years old. But things had changed when you started dating a bass player from another band. You hadn't noticed the look of betrayal in his eyes when you first brought ‘Ace’ (as Eddie called him), to a Corroded Coffin gig and introduced them to each other. Eddie was less than impressed by the guy who looked almost like James Hetfield of Metallica, but with shorter hair. 

You'd hardly spoken since then, though you'd been so close for so long the introduction of a boyfriend seemed to break you apart. Hellfire was awkward, he didn't wait around for you after. Corroded Coffin gigs and practices he never even bothered to tell you where they'd be. He'd pulled away and you had no real idea why, but what you were certain about was that you missed him. 

You'd spent weeks trying to quell the sadness inside you that you felt from Eddie pulling away, even started sitting at a different table at lunch to give him the space he so clearly needed. It had been almost three months, and you were hardly talking. Every day you'd wish you could talk to him, you'd look at him from across the lunch hall wishing that he'd come and give you the hug you so desperately desired.

You couldn't take it anymore, it was Thursday  night. You couldn't help but feel a rising panic of anxiety inside you, you'd been holding in the tears all day and you just needed him to hold you. To tell you it would be ok, that everything would turn out right. You knew Eddie, and you knew that he'd not push you for what was bothering you, he never did not until you were ready to talk. It was one of the things you loved most about him, he always waited until you were ready there was never any pressure.

Standing at the door to his trailer, you knocked gently. Your heart pounding heavily, you felt almost like you couldn't breathe. The door opened and you were ready to pounce, but it was Wayne so you held yourself back. Looking at him you smiled weakly. “I'm just off to work, It's good to see you though.” He said before stepping onto the trailer so you could go inside. “Eddie, visitor!” It was too late to turn back now, he knew you were here.

“I'll be right out.” There was his voice, his beautiful soothing voice. You stood, picking at your nail beds trying to calm yourself down until he stepped out of his room. Shirtless, hair wet and being dried off with a towel in his hand. “Hey…” he said gently the moment he saw you. You stared at him for a moment, it felt like the longest moment in eternity before you rushed over and buried your head in his chest.

Eddie had dropped the towel as you ran over, he held you close and kissed you on the head as he pulled you back into his life. “It's okay princess, I got you.” He whispered. “I got you.” He whispered as he squeezed you gently, not planning to let you go for the night. You closed your eyes as you took in his scent, something was so calming about it you couldn't describe it. But what you were sure of right now, was that you were home.

[writing-far-too-badly]

FFF 226: Love by Any Other Name

AN: I immediately thought about the fact that some things are different when you refer to them differently, like how a relationship changes as it's defined.

Irene,

I know it's only been a few weeks since we started seeing each other, but I can't keep you out of my head. Every time that we see each other, I feel like I fall just a little bit harder for you. I know letters are kind of old fashioned, but I think that they're kind of cute!

Best,

Girlfriend,

Wow, it's wild to be able to open a letter like that! It feels like it was just yesterday when we started dating! I feel a little weird opening the letter with just girlfriend, but it's still so exciting that I couldn't make myself say anything else.

Yours,

Iri,

Happy one year! I love that I've gotten to spend the last three hundred and sixty five years with you. I'm looking forward to the next three hundred and sixty five, and every one after those.

Love,

Love,

I can't believe that this time next month we'll be married. When you asked me to marry you, I felt the floor drop out from beneath my feet. I had been about to ask you the same thing! It is nice how similar our taste in rings is, at least. If I ever get bored of mine, I guess I can just borrow yours.

All my love,

Dearest,

It feels strange to write you a letter when we're just a few feet away, but I couldn't help myself when I saw how cute you looked while sleeping this morning. It's the first day of our honeymoon, and I'm so glad that we decided to not schedule anything at all. I don't think I could pay attention to any plays or musicals knowing that my wife was sitting next to me.

XOXO,

Wife,

It's hard to believe that we've been married for three years now. At this point, I calculated, we've been married for more than half of the time that we've known each other. I can't wait for when that becomes half of our life.

All my love,

Irene,

It's been a while since I wrote you any letters, and that's on me. I hadn't realized how much you liked them, and I'm sorry that it took meeting with Dr. Franklyn for you to tell me. I want to make this work, but I don't know how to do it alone. I suppose Dr. Franklyn would tell me that I can't do it alone, and that's why we're a partnership.

Yours,

Iri,

I just realized that I haven't called you Iri in, well, honestly, I don't remember how long. When did we stop using pet names?

Love,

Irene,

I can't do this any longer. I feel like I wake up to a stranger every morning. I need some space. I will continue to write, but I need to be somewhere that I don't have to see you every day.

Still choosing you,

Irene,

I don't know. I just don't know anymore.

Yours,

Irene,

I guess this is goodbye.

Best,

@flashfictionfridayofficial

[grismavessel]

Heyyyy Jules, it's been busy so I haven't been on Tumblr a lot so return art! Killer into for Axe killer Gris

You *rattles you like a maraca* I have ideas i have ideas to go with an axe killer gris hehehe

So what goes REALLY WELL with a crazy axe man? A crazy forest/wild man

I thought of, you know, the woodsman and the big bad wolf go hand in hand and are usually enemies, but what if they were lovers instead heheh and I also pictured that one princess Mononoke scene, Gris threatening to off Ingo and all Ingo could do is admire Gris.

So, thought process and au ramble time + art: (sorry I wrote a lot :3)

Gris is a crazy, deranged axe murder in this au (haven't come up with a name), they're in the forest and wilds and will terrorize any outsiders that come near them because they're very bitter about other people and wants their space.

So for Ingo, train man enthusiast, to fall for this villain, he'd also need to be chucked into a wood chipper and look extra ragged and hobo-ish with a dash more angst :3

I'd imagine this version of Ingo, 'Hunter' Ingo I'm calling him, would've had his head hit just a little harder when he gets eeby deebied. So on top of having no memories, the injury basically wipes his memory. Also he isn't found by any pearl clan members but by wild pokemon (I was thinking either Sneaslers or Zoroarks but I can't really decide what fits better), so Ingo creates new memories and thinks he's just a weird looking wild pokemon. He was always that and needs to rehabilitate himself so he can be a contributing member of the pack.

He does get separated from his pack one day and finds an abandoned camp with some various items such as a mirror and a broken festival mask. He sees the mirror and immediately recoils because he hasn't seen his face in months and had no memory of what it looked like. When he does see his reflection, he doesn't like it because he can feel something in the back of his mind wanting to come out and break free, long lost memory just itching to come out but it hurts his head. So he dawns the mask to prevent anymore bad feelings coming back.

He's in rough shape, he's stronger and faster but he's very reclusive and nonverbal.

They way Ingo and Gris would meet in this au would be just somewhere out in the wilds. Gris is hunting for food and spots Ingo, but they can't keep up with him. It isn't until Ingo pounces on Gris that they realize Ingo was the one hunting them. They scuffle and eventually Gris's mask falls off.

Ingo sees and has a tarzan moment where he realizes that he's not a pokemon and the reason why he feels so different than his pack was because he's actually human, and Gris is the first human he's seen since he woke up in the icelands.

The two go their seperate ways and retreat because neither one wants to be dinner.

They run into one another again and again, but hostility lessens each time. One because Gris sees that Ingo's very off, he's not civilized at all, and two Ingo wants to know more about being human and so far Gris is the closest one for miles.

The 'trying to kill each other for food' stops at some point and they forge a friendship. They hang out and exchange food. Gris would teach him manners and how to talk (I'd still think Ingo would be very quiet, but when he does speak it scares Gris half to death because of the seer volume he has).

At some point Ingo decides that he can no longer live with his pack and moves in with Gris. Together they form the local legend of the Axe Man and The Hunter.

Neither one is doing well (cough cough i would draw a proper aze murder gris n ingo but I'm not feeling blood atm (maybe for Halloween >:D)), but they fit comfort in one another still because they are in love and can be cute and deranged together because I said so <3<3<3