#I feel like I dont even do anything in therapy but its very very noticable when I dont have it

[homicidal-lingonberry]

this isnt funny AT ALL but its so funny. I typed "what if I kill myself bc there are no jobs" into indeed and it said there were no matches. and then it was like "you might like this job working sales at a garbage collection company that pays 50 cents more than minimum wage and only offers 18 hours per week!"

also btw this is after missing several therapy sessions (due to the holidays and my therapist being sick + her baby having appointments) I finally get to chat with her today just for my assessment to be due and so we did that and then I lost the other 30 mins of my appointment bc the assessment has to be approved first. splendid timing.

if Ive been venty as hell on here lately just remember Ive gone like. 4x longer without therapy than usual and Im being so fucking cool and brave right now.

[faegutz]

Hmmmm cuz I have a headache rn, what about the 141( + Konig and Los vaqueros) helping a gn reader with a migrane?

migraines and how they help ☆ pairing: 141 + los vaqueros + konig × gn! reader

authors note: i barely have migraines but when i do it hurts so much. Im gonna be honest and say im not too proud of these and i had no idea what to write sometimes- But hope you feel better soon anon and i hope you enjoy! :)

tags: migraine, hurt comfort?, domestic, probably ooc, medicine mentions, soft cod men

"CAPTAIN JOHN PRICE"

- dad mode activated !

- has a whole cabinet specifically full of medicine, some thermometers, etc.

- gives you some aspirin and water

- the type to make you go to bed and nap and will refuse to let you get out of bed or do anything yourself

- just tell him what you need and he'll get it!! no need to get up

- will lay down with you and caress your face, occassionaly giving you soft kisses on the forehead

- will always take care of you when you dont feel good and make sure you feel better before he stops

"Let me take care of you,"

"SIMON GHOST RILEY"

- kinda confused on how hes supposed to help you but hes trying okay

- will go to the store and get you something that will help you with the pain

- hes never really taken care of someone before so hes a little awkward

- he wants you to lay down and get some rest but he also doesnt want to baby you

- so he just kinda stands there while you do your thing, watching and waiting in case you need his help with anything

- if you ask him to lay down with you, he will and he'll make sure to hold you close

- "It's okay, love,"

"JOHN SOAP MACTAVISH"

- i feel like he gets sick maybe once a year so he has no clue how to even help with a migraine

- will stand in the medicine aisle at the store, staring at every single thing thats on the shelf and having no clue what to grab

- doesnt want to call you and bother you because youre in pain, so he ends up asking someone else in the aisle what the hell youre supposed to get for a migraine

- gets home about 5 minutes later than he should because he took so long just standing in the store with a confused look on his face

- will make you soup or something warm because that usually helped him when he was sick or in pain

- he almost started a fire because he forgot he was even making you food since he was more distracted by worrying over you and making sure you were comfortable !! how fun

- "Uh, the soup is burnt.."

"KYLE GAZ GARRICK"

- he definitely gets sick often, and hes almost an expert on how to help you

- makes sure you drink water regularly and occasionally take an aspirin

- most of the migraines hes ever gotten was because he was stressed

- so he practically gives you a therapy session and asks you what gave you the headache and if you were stressed

- lets you just talk it out if you were stressed

- keeps a close eye on you and makes sure you drink enough water and that you eat

- "Tell me whats been bothering you,"

"ALEJANDRO VARGAS"

- immediately notices that youre in pain when he sees you wince or squint your eyes

- is ready with pain medication and some water

- he offers to give you a back massage and hes very skilled with his hands so it feels amazing

- he makes sure to close all the blinds or curtains so its darker inside so the pain is less for you

- whispers in your ear about how much he loves you just so you feel relaxed and comfortable

- gives you kisses on the top of your head and soothingly rubs your back in circles

- "Te amo mucho,"

"RODOLFO RUDY PARRA"

- out of all the characters on this list, I have a feeling he would definitely be the best caretaker for you

- makes sure you get sleep and drink water, will literally hold you down if he has to

- he holds you against his chest while you sleep, staying by your side the whole time

- will cook meals for you and basically do everything for you

- suggests turning on some soothing noises or guided meditation sounds on the TV that will help you relax

- he also will brush your hair/do your hair for you if you find it relaxing

- "Solo relájate, cariño."

"KONIG"

- ohh hes so sorry that youre in pain and he tries his best to comfort you in any way he can

- hes not sure what to do himself but if you ask anything of him he will get right on it

- frequently asks if youre comfortable or if you need him to do anything

- it almost gets annoying, but he just wants to make sure youre taken care of and that you feel better soon

- he has no clue how to cook most things so he does the next best thing and goes to the store and buys all your favorite snacks for you

- "Do you need anything else, meine liebe?"

[the-s1lly-corner]

WOoOoOoO SPOOKY SEASON REQUIRES SPOOKY STUFF

Anyways

I would love to request an Child ghost!reader and the gang, basically child reader got murdered when they were using the VR and their soul got stuck into the game.

Their soul being so GORY AND DISTORTED, like an arm is missing, one eye is like hanging out and their head has an hole. Reader can get invisible like a ghost and move things with only their mind, and they are very quiet and just observes, rarely get mad or anything, but when they snap (for example: Because of jax's pranks) they start throwing things around dim the lights and scream, and lets put like, Reader's screams are like LOUD as hell, basically like an ghost tantrum.

So basically Child reader is just an sad messed up lil goof who needs comfort and therapy.

Sorry if its long, i love love love your blog btw!

-🌹

TADC cast x ghost!child!reader (platonic + light found family) !

going to take a different approach to writing this one, since i feel bad about being selective of cast/multi characters today, so! rather than having divided segments like usual, its going to be a group thing! hope thats alright! going to be the last request of this batch them imma make something to eat rq for dinner then get back to writing YAHOO!

when you joined the digital circus, you were already very obviously different from the rest of the gang. even if your gore was toned down thanks to your body being digitized; the programming seemed to struggle with altering your body into something unique... strange... it also seems your body is fighting back against the programming of the world, seemingly trying to restore itself. The effect makes you almost look like you're glitching, or even abstracting

Caine doesnt immediately pick up on your presence, i feel like its in his programming to be aware when a new member joins the circus, but for some reason he didnt notice you until he saw you, or someone brings you up to him

It was Ragatha, who was trying to get answers from him. Who's kid was this? Is it really fair to let a kid be stuck here? Obviously she knew Caine couldnt do anything about it now that you were here, nor did he have any hand in you putting on the headset.

Except... you correct them and say you didn't put on any headset, you were trapped in it.

Of course you're trapped, just like the rest of us, Jax says

None of them immediately believe you try to tell them you're a ghost. Except of course, Kinger, who reasons that that's why you look the way you do; and Gangle, who in my opinion probably finds interest in the supernatural.. or maybe that's just me projecting onto her. Who knows. But the point still stands, almost everyone doesn't believe you.

Not long after, Jax accidentally ropes you into prank that was originally intended for Zooble, I dont think Jax would go as far as to bully a child.... well... actually no, he seems like the type to bully kids on roblox.

The prank wasnt planned for you, you were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. You open a door, and are immediately greeted with a fake snake lunging out at you. You scream, more so out of surprise and fear than anger. It does turn into anger when Jax laughs at you, still finding some kind of joy from the prank getting at least someone. Your scream rises, causing nearly everyone to cover their ears, the rest were not there in the room but would come rushing to see what the hell was going on

I think it would be that instance as well as a few other; namely ones where you became invisible and started removing one of Zooble's limbs after they (unintentionally) said something a little too mean to you. The idea of you being a ghost was further cemented when both Gangle and Ragatha watched you literally phase through a wall. But hey at least someone (Jax) starts laying off of you when it becomes clear you weren't lying

There's mixed feelings, a lot negative. I mean, you're just a kid and you're. Well, a ghost. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to come to the conclusion that something happened to you. Whether or not you remember the details of your death when you became a ghost, or after joining the digital world, is all up to you

Caine, as mentioned before in posts where the reader is a child, tries to be a father figure. He's not the best, since he's programmed to be a ring master, but he definitely tries his best. I like to think he tries to read you bedtime stories when the digital world simulates 'night'

Pomni, who I totally didn't forget, tries to overcome her fear of you and your ghostly powers, ultimately becoming sympathetic you and your situation. Not only was your life cut short, but you were trapped here too, you didn't even get to roam the world in the afterlife. Interactions with her are awkward but there's an effort to try to bring you some form of comfort

Jax, after he stops pulling jokes on you cant deny that he doesnt find you creepy. I think, though, he would ask you if you want to help him scare some of the other members. Whether you be offended by the concept or not is also up to you, since I'm not sure if you wanted the reader to be sensitive regarding their current predicament or not

Ragatha goes into full big sister mode, even before it's confirmed that you're a ghost. Sure, she's a little put off by your ganky and gorey looks, but her heart aches for you. Similar to Caine she tries to do general child care activities with you, perhaps if you let her, she would do your hair and make you dresses

Kinger will take a while to warm up to you, but I think after some time would start to open up to you, usually it's best to interact with him when he's already in a calmer state. He already gives me dad vibes that I cant pin down... but he would tell you stories of his past (in house) adventures and some funny stuff that has happened over his time in the digital world

Zooble is going to need a moment to get over the invisible dismemberment thing... as well as Zooble being Zooble and needing some time to warm up to people in general... Not much to be said, yet...

Gangle would offer to lend you some art supplies... kids like arts and crafts stuff, right? Thats her logic, at least, and if it means you have an outlet for your emotions then that would be great!

Overall you now have a funky found family, so hey, at least things aren't totally... terrible.. Unfortunately with them stuck in the digital world they can't do much to get you justice, if you let them know you were murdered. But rest assured if your killer somehow gets trapped in there with them and you recognize them, they have your back

[ariestrxsh]

im a minor but i wanted to share this with someone.

i genuinely am so scared for myself i have major depression and my parents dont care. i physically cannot take care of myself and when i tell my parents that. they say im only lazy. i tell my psychologist and my therapist but my mom always makes me the bad person i just want the best for myself thats why i always share my stuff with them. on june of last year i attempted suicide and when my mom found out she said it should've been her trying to die cause no one does anything around the house. i cried because no one acknowledges my suffering. i self harm and my mom and dad say its stupid but dont do anything to help me at all. i just want to die so bad and they dont care what i go through.

Hi. :) That's really heavy. That's a lot to deal with as a kid. You know, I had a similar experience as a teen. I was very heavily into self-harm, and I had a lot of suicidal ideations. It was hard for me to get out of bed somedays. My parents thought I was lazy and whenever we had family therapy sessions, my mom was always the victim and no one was in as much emotional turmoil as she was. So I understand a lot about what you're going through.

Adults forget what it feels like to be a teenager. Childhood was so vibrant and lifelike, and now that you've been here for a while, the world has lost its color a bit, and you have a lot of the responsibility of being an adult without the freedoms. It's just fucking hard. When your parents forget what it feels like to be a teenager, it causes a rift in understanding where everything you do just appears to be 'lazy.' That has nothing to do with you, and it has everything to do with their own beliefs about their ability to parent and their own relationship with their inner child. I know that it's hard, but try not to take your parents words and actions towards you personally. It isn't about you! Even if they think it is.

I know that this is a lot easier said than done, but I want you to try out a little experiment when you feel like the really big emotions are taking over. Try taking a step back from yourself and watch the emotion play out, almost like the emotion that's happening is a cloud slowly passing by overhead and you're laying in the grass watching it. Name the emotion when it happens. Is it anger? Is it sadness? Give it a name and listen to what it has to say to you. When you separate yourself from the emotion and the thoughts and beliefs that come with the emotion, notice the stillness in its place, that part of you deep down inside that can't be shaken, bothered, or swayed. Some call it your consciousness, some call it your soul or spirit, it's like a wise, quiet stillness that exists within you, and the more time you spend with that part of yourself, I think the more you will feel at peace and the more you'll be able to separate yourself from other people's bullshit, and you won't have to absorb it so much.

I know this was kind of all over the place, but the moral of the story is, is that in the same way you are stuck in a pattern of depression and self-harm, your parents are stuck in their own pattern, and it has nothing to do with you. You can't change the way other people relate to the world around them, but you can change the way you relate to the things others say about you or think of you if you find the right tools.

As for the self-harm, you'll quit when you're ready to. No one can make you. And once you find better ways to cope with everything, you'll find healthier vices. The world is a better place with you in it. And the next time you feel like it's not, take a few deep breaths and connect to that part of you that doesn't think, doesn't feel, doesn't dwell, and just exists.

💖

[king-bastion]

15 and 9 are incredibly similar

i very rarely post but i haven't seen anyone else talking about it so im gonna do it.

the 9th and 15th doctor are super similar and im kinda down for it. with this new series labeled season one its interesting to see Russell T Davies basically redo series one.

i dont mean to say hes reusing concepts or being unoriginal but a lot of the episodes from series one have a loose equivalent in season one to give a few examples space babies = the worlds end(new companions very first trip is to a far off future to a space station) the devils chord = the unquiet dead(new companions second trip is to the past, there is a famous historical figure there that saves the day instead of the doctor)

basically all the episodes besides the two parter aliens of London and world war three have a episode that thematically rhymes with it. again not to say any of the episodes recycle anything, just that if you boil it down to just the story beats a lot of them follow the same journey.

like i said just loose connections like that where a lot of 9 and 15 stories line up and thats not even bringing the doctor himself into the equation.

but bringing how the doctor acts into the view brings even more similarities they are both obviously gay(rogue and jack(dont tell me 9 and jack were not clearly into each other, i wont hear it)) where as most other doctors tend to fall in the attracted to woman area.

but beyond that 9 and 15 are the only ones who tend to physically express anger. 10-14 all yell and stomp around, sometimes they use weapons and threats and sometimes they follow through with them. but only 9 and 15 have punched a wall out of anger, not hitting the wall to accomplish anything or scare anyone but just because they are mad and they need an outlet for that anger.

this post is already getting long so quick wrap up of small similarities i noticed without sourcing it are, both 9 and 15 are actually good at dancing. both will bring up big threats but actually be unable to follow through with them where i feel other doctors will reluctantly give into violence. 9 and 15 have kind of a similar look when it comes to outfits while 9 only had his signature look 15 changes frequently but the majority of those outfits are leather jackets, not overcoats or tweed or hoodies but leather jackets.

then their the matter of the companion being a 18 year old blond girl whos mom is shown a lot and has a want to go back in time to see a parental figure.

and lastly the single story thread connecting all the episodes with badwolf and susan twist, both those threads lead back to a godlike entity.

anyway to wrap this up i think its interesting that season 1 and series 1 are the same enough to directly compare the two doctors as they go through basically the same story beats and that comparison to show that 15, the "healthiest" doctor, the one who claims to have been through therapy and is more open and vulnerable then any other doctor. is the most like 9, the most unhealthy of the doctors straight out the time war packed with trauma.

ether 9 was really good at masking or 15 might not be as healthy as he claims

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for not wearing long sleeves? tw // self harm

recently i (20nb) had a particularly bad week and relapsed. i dont do anything that leads to any major injury but it does leave visible marks on my wrists.

after a few days i kind of forgot about them? i dont care about people seeing them all that much (obviously i do tend to wear longer sleeves to hide them, but theyre a part of me just like any other temporary scar. i dont bring them up ever i just let them exist. all this to say if i wear short sleeves its not the end of the world for me) and im in the middle of art school finals right now so hiding my scars is not my priority lol

recently i went out with my family (my mom [49f], my sister [16f] and my brother [14m] if it matters) to get haircuts. the haircuts are by a family friend (63m), and he is well aware of my mental health issues. once i got in the car, i realized that i put on a short sleeved shirt today. we werent exactly gonna go out and do stuff other than haircuts and burger king, so i thought it would be fine. the scars, at this point, have faded to nothing more than faint red lines and are barely noticeable.

long story short, my mom saw them and dragged me out to the car after our haircuts were done. once we got to the car she laid it in on me. she yelled at me, asking me things like "how dare you do that to yourself again", "how dare you show them off to [haircut guy]", "why did you think that wearing short sleeves was even remotely a good idea?". i tried to explain it was an accident, but she pointed to the scars and asked me how "that" was an accident.

i will admit that i didnt have a good answer for that and stayed silent. my mom didnt like that and accused me of everything from earlier again, and then marched inside for my siblings, saying she wasnt done with me.

im now back at my dorms after a very silent car ride. ive already texted my dad (49m) about the situation, who is backing me up, so hopefully the argument will resolve here, but judging from my moms visceral reaction, i feel like an asshole. the intent wasnt to "show them off", but i should have worn longer sleeves to hide them and make sure that i didnt freak out my mom. shes autistic and cant control her emotions very well (she hasnt gotten therapy for it) and she might have been stressed since ive had issues with sh for 7 years now and i was 4 months clean before i relapsed (and she mightve thought that i broke free of the habit).

... though as far as im aware, neither my mom nor my haircutter have had issues with sh in the past, and my haircutter didnt notice my scars.

sorry for long post; aita?

What are these acronyms?

[wulfums]

Based on the last post, it of Course isnt just Whatwulf helping Allan. Whatwulf struggles with constantly fearing things and others and being worried.

He can always ask Allan if he's mad at him. Allan makes a point to never be annoyed no matter how many times Whatwulf asks. He knows that WW feeling like this isnt really based on like...anything. He feels like this all the time with Everyone. But Allan has noticed Whatwulf has been asking a lot less lately. He notices small things like that and it makes him smile when he does. Little things like that let him know Whatwulf is doing better and feeling good.

Allan does genuinely get annoyed with Whatwulf's memory issues occasionally, and early on in the relationship has said some rude things (and even Now, if he's having a really bad day, and Whatwulf forgot somth important, he might get snippy. But he tries not to.). But he always reminds himself that Whatwulf isnt doing this because hes lazy. Hes not doing it because he doesnt care. This is just how his brain works. Its one of the things WW is most insecure about so when Allan does get annoyed about it, it hurts Whatwulf a lot. I feel like Allan realizes and apologizes right away, and they talk about it later. And he really means it. He makes sure his apologies mean something. Sometimes if its too hard to say, he will leave Whatwulf a little note (With Whatwulfs fav candy taped to it.) apologizing. It means a lot and reassures Whatwulf that Allan wasnt mad at him, and WW didnt do anything wrong.

Allan helps Whatwulf with some things relating to this. He's in charge of refilling Whatwulf's medications. He goes to the same pharmacy for himself, so taking this one thing off of Whatwulf's plate will help him focus on remembering other things. He reminds Whatwulf to write down money things in a ledger to keep track of budget. He encourages him to leave post it notes around. They have a whiteboard in the apartment so Whatwulf can remember what chores hes done today or whose turn it is to do something.

They do have fights sometimes and arguments. Everyone does. Sometimes it is one of them being insensitive or snippy abt the other's ND issues. I think the first couple of times it was rough because Whatwulf convinces himself "Well, guess its all over. I fucked this up." and Allan is the kind of person to hold onto a grudge and bring it up at random during arguments.

So Whatwulf brought Allan into one of his therapy sessions to talk about this specifically. It was just one session, since this was a therapist not a relationship counseler.

So they just always remember....they can always talk these things out. And the more they do it, the easier it gets. Now, they're able to both stop themselves before snapping. Whatwulf will use his DBT skills and Allan will do some grounding excersizes before they continue doing the stressful thing.

One of the biggest things is that Whatwulf never has to assume Allan isnt being honest. He is. Always. Hes just like that. He feels relaxed around him for that reason. Both of them say what they mean and its so freeing. They dont have to follow NT Society Rules around each other. Theyve established their own "house rules" that absolutely work perfect for them.

One of the biggest moments for them was related to Whatwulf's PTSD. Sometimes, Whatwulf struggles with showers due to PTSD. The water just...feels like hands (I Will Not Elaborate, IYKYK) and it makes it hard. Allan offers to stand guard at the bathroom door until Whatwulf is done. They were also waiting for pizza. While Whatwulf was in the shower, he heard the doorbell ring. He wasn't done yet and took a bit more time. He expected Allan to have gone to grab the pizza- he hates when it gets cold. But no, Allan was right there. Exactly where he said he would be. Guarding Whatwulf. That was a very emotional pizza night.

[rev-xce]

YESSSS i love it when ppl make sig a petty little bitch!! if those blocked broadcasts are anything to go off of, sig can absolutely be kind of a dick when he wants to be!! i also kinda feel like her hehe funny guy persona kinda stems from the fact that (i personally) think his biggest fear is being alone. like, she’s the one who comes up with the slugcat messenger idea so they can still communicate when the comms go down, and plus when sig gets mad at suns and ghosts them he manages to do it for like, two messages before she caves and replies again. suns admits to some absolutely insane shit (they didn’t give spearmaster the mark LITERALLY so sig and moon wouldn’t notice what suns was doing BECAUSE THEY KNEW THEY SHOULD HIDE IT!! AND STILL DID IT!!) and yet sig STILL talks to them and tries to be a good friend. my girl cannot lose one of the last people she can still communicate with and it shows lmaooo

anyways these r just my silly head canons and i love sig so so much so sorry for rambling like a crazy person im ur askbox

AUUUGHAHHH HIII ITS ALWAYS SUCH A JOY TO SPOT U IN MY INBOX YO

You totally have it spot on with my Sig characterisation!! Bro's just a lonely lil guy,,,, he's so upset with Pebbles for giving up so easily and causing the rest of the group to crack as well :((

CANON SIG IS SO GENIUS LIKE BOOM MIND BLOWN WITH HOW HE WAS TRYNA FIGURE A DIFF MSG ROUTE OUT

SUNS THE LOVABLE BASTARD💥💥💥💥💥 ur so BIG BRAIN FOR THE REASONING OF SPEARMASTER NOT HAVING THE MARK WOAH

I NEVER THOUGHT ABT IT LIKE THAT LIKE IT MAKES SENSE SUNS IS A BASTARD FRFR( also nsh's therapy sessions with them on comms lmao)

Also Ik my au Sig is a dude but ur headcanons of Sig is making me daydream abt female Sig like she would go so hard in a dress im so tempted to draw her in a dress(genuinely might do it)

DONT EVEN APOLOGISE FOR BEING IN MY ASKBOX IM VERY HAPPY TO SEE YOU, KEEP BEING CRAZY HELL YEA

[thesnailkiwi]

3, 4, 11, 16, 18, 20, 23, 24, 26, 46, 56, 73, and 74 for the fic writer ask game? (you don't have to answer all of them these are just the ones i find interesting)

alright alright yes yes

dont worry i love asks

3)Describe the creative process of writing a chapter/fic.

It depends on the story and what is happening. Usually, i type out a short summary of the whole story, decide where the best places to split it are, and write it in parts. Other times i just wing it and hope it sounds good.

4) Where do you find inspiration for new ideas?

Everywhere. Other fics, poems, songs, phrases, scenes. Even items. I especially love the ones from my dreams. Inspiration is everywhere- you just have to look into the simplest things in a different way than you see them.

11)Link your three favorite fics right now.

Time to expose myself! Also, this is the hardest decision I'll ever make.

I also want to mention a few others if you dont mind

Featherweight- DoctorSiren

Poisoned Rats in a Pot of Grain- TheYesterdayShow

Maybe the World Isn't so Wide- MsDizzyDahlia

16) How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Share one of them?

Oh. oh no. let me get my google docs and notes app out.

22

This one is actually one that I got from a dream.

Cc!Grian goes on a camping trip and hikes up a mountain alone because he can't sleep. He finds a piano that turns out to be magic and he plinks it. It turns him more and more into his character each day. The next day he goes to find it and it's gone. He runs away to try and hide it but his friends file a missing report. They find him a week later alone in a cave. During that time, he get visited by watchers and is shocked bc he made them up but they're real. They try to kill him because him turning is a "glitch" but he gets away.

After they find him, grian refuses to tell them anything. He has to stay home and go to therapy bc man's traumatized. He stays with Timmy.

One night during dinner, his character takes over. Timmy panicks and calls Scott and mumbo over. Grian puffs out his wings and Jimmy realizes what's happening. They're able to calm him down and cc!grian takes back over. 

They have to figure out how to save him before it's too late and he turns fully into his character. 

Mumbo is doing research and finds smth about it. They have to find a real eye of ender.

They return to the spot where the piano used to be and dig to find the eye. They do, and they save him. But not without a fight first because c!grian is very argumentative.

18)Do you title your fics before, during, or after the writing process? How do you come up with titles?

After. There are exceptions, but almost always after. I think of key words and phrases from (or that describe) the story. Or I just make random stuff up that sounds cool.

20) Have you noticed any patterns in your fics? Words/expressions that appear a lot, themes, common settings, etc?

Yes. Lots of melodrama, passing out, self-worth problems, and flower husbands.

Joking aside, definitely. I love it when characters pass out on their enemy and get carried. Idk why, its just funny and sets up for a lot of humiliation. I also love not-actually-unrequited-feelings. I'm not sure about what specific words/phrases, but i know that they are definitely there. Themes usually include things like live life to the fullest, appreciate what you have until its too late, and that things are never as they seem.

23) Best writing advice for other writers?

My best writing advice is be you and write what you want to write.

Admittedly, I havent updated my biggest fic i have in over 3 months. It just wasn't fun to write anymore and my motivation went *fart noise*. Yes, okay, I've gotten comments, but I'm also happy and want to write a different ship at the moment. It also helps with the feeling of being obligated to have deadlines and one-up yourself every chapter. Sure, those things are great, but you should enjoy writing and what you produce, not find it annoying and tiring.

There are other things, like grammar, POV, and formatting, but we won't go into those.

24) Worst writing advice anyone ever gave you?

OOO YOU'RE ABOUT TO HEAR SOME ABSOLUTE BS

Alright, so, when I first started writing, I watched some youtube vids on stuff like good writing, plot, and stuff like that.

The lady in the video. Ugh. alright, so she ofc was hating on fanfiction, and said "It's always wiser to make your own stories and characters" or something like that. Bish, have you seen the ao3, fanfiction.net, and wattpad community??? She then went on to go and say the opposite of what i said above. That you should always listen to your readers and shiz and that you, the author, should always make them happy even if it hurts.

She also was like "don't use tags like 'yes,' bob growled' because its improper and growling is an act, not a tone of voice." No, it is actually correct writing.

She also was deprecating young authors telling them that they suck.

26) Which of your fics would you call your wildest ride?

Uhhh, what's your definition of wild?

A fallen angel spreads its wings, wishing to fly away- storywise can be counted as crack personally. it makes no damn sense anymore.

My superhero AU- this is going to get crazy. you have no idea. the sheer emotions and attachment i have to this one. I will make you cry.

46) How would you describe your style? (Character/emotion/action-driven, etc)

My style is both character driven and emotion driven. I have this weird thing where if I'm writing, I can like, BE the character or smth. I get to know what they would do, think, and feel, and then mix it with some of my own before it gets out of hand. It happens when reading, too.

There is a downside, such as what happens to them physically i can feel, but it makes it easier to drive the story. I give it bulletpoints of what i want to happen, and it will get it there eventually.

(I have a fun story that came with this one time, but I'll tell it at a later date)

56) What’s something about your writing that you pride yourself on?

Yes yes yes. I pride myself on the sheer amount of ideas I get daily. I get like 2 ideas daily. Yeah, it sucks that I cant write them all, but at least i have a variety. If you ever want a story idea, I have SO MANY

73) What do you think makes your writing stand out from other works?

Honestly, I don't know. I feel like that is for you guys to decide.

As a reader, it's easier to pick out things and decide what is different and what is the same. When writing, I criticize myself so much, like "thats basic" or "thats repetitive". Yet people still read it, so I must be doing something right.

74) You’ve posted a fic anonymously. How would someone be able to guess that you’d written it?

My writing style, themes, ships, and overdramatic feelings.

My style is kind of a mix of rambling and story telling. Also the question from earlier about key words, phrases, and stuff like that describes it all. I love amplifying feelings, and of course, making my characters go through hell and then dragging them back out.

[mo0l]

playing through p5 royal for the first time and its quite bizarre how both great and mid all the new content manages to be,,, its overall positive enough to say its the definitive version and yet a lot of the new content is kinda lazy and shouldve been left out/reworked, not to mention it makes the game even easier than it already was but because of said easiness in the original, this almost isnt a bad thing cuz it just lets you go power crazy with getting overpowered which is kind of a step up from the original just being a bit unsatisfying with its amount of difficulty?

but then like phone conversations at the end of social links, about 80% of them add nothing of substance or even anything aesthetically fun and feel out of place and should just have not been put in the game, but at the same time the ones that do add are very welcomed

kasumi (so far no spoils pls) is rly bland personality wise and only gets weird specific quirks that feel too disconnected to rly give her a coherent vibe? which is both kind of an interesting design but also just devolves into every conversation being like "wow that was great senpai" with ren just saying a variation on "youre great kasumi :)" and idk it feels lazy to not have her have some noticeable flaw shes trying to work on like everyone else BUT shes also like the best romance option cuz of the sheer amount of 1 on 1 time her and joker get in the main story specifically no less, dr maruki is so far a fantastic character too with consistently some of the best philosophy the game brings up, literally questioning the existence and effectiveness of therapy, not to a meaningful political degree obvs but in the context of a dumb fun jrpg power fantasy adventure its super satisfying

and a lot of the new music is absolutely stellar,,, new op and battle theme are both weaker than the previous ones tho,,, theyre still pretty good mind you they just dont live up to the same standard and the fact that they take the spotlight away from the others feels a bit unnecessary and poor in design judgement, having both openings cycle the main menu wouldve been easy enough and take over would work perfectly as the regular battle theme with last surprise being the ambush theme (i mean it literally has 'surprise' in the title it feels like the way it shoulda been) but omg then dr. marukis theme absolutely fucks?? new mementos themes woulda been better if each one was less of a variation on the same thing but just more variety in general helps a lot there,,,, and holy fuck no more what ifs,,,, literally a vocals song that is just relegated to a hangout social spot??? lmao?? not even most of the time you go there either dkdhdjd and its like one of the best new tracks,,,, this is what i mean by everything being generally better but sloppily so,,,, just needed a lot of fat trimmed and some minor reworks im excited to get to the new palace i think thats really gonna decide whether this is better than the original or not for me

[gabapentinblues]

journal 1.22.2025 tw; ed, sh, si, substances

my depression is reaching a point beyond what i can handle and i just feel suicidal and alone. very alone. im so tired of just continuing fir everyone elses sake and just feeling like no one notices or cares or can feel what im going through. i feel so completely alone in this.

ive been shutting down, i havent been able to write anything. i remember when i wanted to fight this and document my journey and now i just feel apathetic to all of it. i feel like ive lost the point to everything and no one will ever be able to help me. i cant help myself.

i thought that i was doing better, i hadnt been cutting myself but i just did. i cant take any of this anymore i really just want to die and for all of this to be over.

i cried almost nonstop after i left work yesterday. i put in my two weeks which makes me feel like a failure and a disappointment. today i still feel just as awful but i dont even have tears to cry which is worse.

i woke up and instantly knew i didnt wanna go to group therapy so i called and said i'd go to the nighttime meeting instead, but now its less than an hour before and i have fresh cuts on my leg and i cant go anywhere.

i havent been able to stop eating all day. im gaining so much weight and i dont feel like i'll ever be able to fix it. i dont feel like i'll ever be able to fix any of this mess.

i've been so depressed and detached i dont even remember the last time i made a journal entry. i feel completely empty inside and im terrified to be alone but i am and i will be and theres nothing i can do about it.

i hope i can get skinny again, thats the only thing that makes me want to stay alive is leaning into starving all of this weight off of me. other than that i just want to not exist, to fast forward through all the days and see if theres ever one where i feel better.

i'm going to have to be moved out next friday. which feels like an impossibly long amount of time. but maybe its something i can look forward to instead of feeling nothing but dread towards the present moment. i have no idea how im going to get through this.

really just need this all to end.

i did mushrooms on sunday and it barely made a dent in my depression, i feel like my brain is truly broken.

[sleepatterns]

we really dont know what to do. we’ve been trying to understand why exactly we are like this, but the bigger struggle is trying to figure out how to fix that. long ass fucking rant below. i think we’ve said this before but wow writing things does help us process our emotions and feel slightly better

the not doing well alone thing has been gradually getting worse over a few years. the isolation we endured living with our grandparents really fucked us up a lot. years before we left we started noticing a decrease in how long we could handle being alone after we started being allowed to go more places, and especially after we could drive. after we left it got so much fucking worse at a much quicker pace. we have absolutely no fucking clue what to do about it. especially with how hard it makes it to sleep. we start to feel so restless and panicked. it fills us with such a huge amount of dread and anxiety and paranoia, its so difficult for us to handle in many ways. typically in texas we either stay awake until it feels literally impossible to keep our eyes open or get max to front. he seems to be able to handle it better, is actually able to go to sleep, and is the main person who fronts when in texas at this point. however right before we left texas he seemed to be struggling more with that too. mostly because of delusions.

speaking of delusions, we are very hesitant to call them that. we aren’t exactly sure what else to call it, though. if there is a better term for whatever the hell we are experiencing i would love to know it. whatever it is, thats been getting worse too. part of the reason we are hesitant to call it delusions is because we are aware they happen. not necessarily in the moment, however there are times where we think “this has happened before and it wasnt real and logically this could not be possible” but it still FEELS like it is, despite any attempt at reasoning to ourselves that its not. sometimes it makes us wonder we are even actually a system or if thats just another result of whats causing the delusions or whatever the fuck they are. i supposed there could be more constant delusions that we are unaware of, tho im not sure. they do seem to be worse when we are by ourselves, which does not help our fear of being alone at all.

thinking about this more further convinces us that we probably need to be medicated or at the very least get more intensive therapy (honestly probably both). another slight issue though is that there are a few of us who do not want to be medicated and it is very hard to convince then that it would probably help.

our therapist did say it was expected that we would develop new trauma responses and maybe get worse in some ways as we are now in a place that allows us to properly process the trauma, and we are no longer in survival mode constantly. but holy shit we did not expect this.

its really difficult to not be hard on ourselves about all of this. every time we open up about anything the thought “youre just making excuses for your behavior” slaps us in the face and makes us feel awful because that is absolutely not what we are trying to do. our goal is hoping that our perspective is more understood by whoever we are talking to, and that they are aware that we are aware that we are kinda fucked up and are actively trying to figure out how to unfuck ourselves (albeit, pretty fucking slowly and with varied results).

its also hard for us to overcome trust issues with stuff, such as believing that what people are saying is actually what they mean. thanks for that, grandma. despite KNOWING that whatever the person is saying may be truthful, well meaning, positive, or whatever our brain never fails to try and twist it to be like “wow they just basically said they hate you and never wanna see you again”. its something we are very aware of and try to ignore but its so hard to not have those thoughts

our grandparents should rot in hell we would probably be less miserable if it wasnt for those fuckers. it feels like we are constantly paying for the mistakes of others and are trying to fix something that we dont fully understand or know how to fix

[melissawebb-avocado]

1: Name

Milinda

2: Age

24

3: 3 Fears

Losing everyone, being alone, people seeing me for how i see my self

4: 3 things I love

My daughter, my husband, my sister

5: 4 turns on

Fatherly, back rubs, asking about my day, takes charge

6: 4 turns off

Dosent listen, trys to take without asking, yelling, procrastinating

7: My best friend

Brianna my sister

8: Sexual orientation

Straight

9: My best first date

Went to make pottery and then to dinner and an arcade

10: How tall am I

5"9

11: What do I miss

My home in chandler

12: What time were I born

2 pm

13: Favorite color

Teal

14: Do I have a crush

My husband

15: Favorite quote

"Most of us are gifted with the

ability to see the monsters hidden

within another, but are unable

to see past them.

It takes a special kind of person

to see the light inside of every

living being."

- Lynette Simeone

16: Favorite place

Oceanside beach

17: Favorite food

Sushi

18: Do I use sarcasm

Yes but only with those im close with

19: What am I listening to right now

Always AJR but the trolls 3 music

20: First thing I notice in new person

How they mingle with new people or stick with the person they know ignoring new people

21: Shoe size

11

22: Eye color

Hazel

23: Hair color

Brown, waiting to dye mt hair a copper red brown

24: Favorite style of clothing

Graphic t and baggy jeans

25: Ever done a prank call?

Yes.

27: Meaning behind my URL

Its my first ever book i wrote in middle school

28: Favorite movie

Howls moving castle

29: Favorite song

AJR object in motion

30: Favorite band

AJR

31: How I feel right now

Depressed

32: Someone I love

My daughter

33: My current relationship status

Married 💍

34: My relationship with my parents

BFF with my MIL and FIL call them every other day. Talk to my mom whenever i can. Forgave my dad but wont ever forget.

35: Favorite holiday

The days before Christmas

36: Tattoos and piercing i have

C section scar

37: Tattoos and piercing i want

None

38: The reason I joined Tumblr

To find more fans aboit the series i loved

39: Do I and my last ex hate each other?

I dont talk to any of them.

40: Do I ever get "good morning" or "good night" texts?

No because we say it to each other when we go to bed together

41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted?

My husband?

42: When did I last hold hands?

Last night

43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning?

Im a stay at home mom so i wake up and thats it.

44: Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?

Yesterday

45: Where am I right now?

Siting on the couch watching my daughter play

46: If I were drunk & can't stand, who's taking care of me?

My husband but my sister is taking me to him.

47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?

LOUD

48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad?

i live with my husband now

49. Am excited for anything?

To get pregnant with my 2nd kid in summer!

50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?

My husband

51: How often do I wear a fake smile?

Not as much anymore. I used to be very good at hiding my emotions no one knew but after years of therapy my face is easy to read.

52: When was the last time I hugged someone?

Last night

53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?

I hope it would be my daughter. But i would probably cry since i dont feel pretty anymore since ive gained weight after birth.

54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?

Nope. All the people i used to trust that were toxic i dont talk to or give them anything from me anymore.

55: What is something I disliked about today?

My husband is working and theres no wifi

56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?

My old therapist.

57: What do I think about most?

The future, where im not stressed about bills, healthcare, or living somewhere i dont. Planing my future home.

58: What's my strangest talent?

Imagination

59: Do I have any strange phobias?

Speaking in public

60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

Behind!!!!

61: What was the last lie I told?

Im fine

62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?

Phone

63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?

Ghosts are real. I beilve there is other life in the universe but they look like you and me. Not movie aliens.

64: Do I believe in magic?

No

65: Do I believe in luck?

Yes. Sometimes you just wake up with a good start and it keeps pulling you forward.

66: What's the weather like right now

It snowed yesterday

67: What was the last book I've read?

The last olympian percy jackson

68: Do I like the smell of gasoline?

No

69: Do I have any nicknames?

Mina

70: What was the worst injury I've ever had?

Tore my esophagus from throwing up so much for months

71: Do I spend money or save it?

Spend on temu

72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue?

No

73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me?

My daughters strawberry baby blanket

74: Favorite animal?

Axolotal

75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM?

Watching tik tok

76: What do I think is Satan's last name is?

Hellboy

77: What's a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?

Trolls 3 better place

78: How can you win my heart?

Random acts of kindness

79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone?

The hardest thing she did was survive and she lived through it all.

80: What is my favorite word?

Cascade

81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr

Basbardbin, moringmark, buggachat,

82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

Just a reminder that by the time your child is 18, they will already have spent 93% of the time they will spend with you in their lifetime. So go on that adventure, because you can always get your money back, but you'll never get those years back.

83: Do I have any relatives in jail?

No

84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what's even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power?

Read peoples minds

85: What would be a question I'd be hesitate to tell the truth on?

86: What is my current desktop picture?

Me and my daughter in the sand at the beach

87: Had sex?

Uh yeah.

88: Bought condoms?

Nope

89: Gotten pregnant?

Yep

90: Failed a class?

Nope

91: Kissed a boy?

Yepppp

92: Kissed a girl?

Nope

93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?

Yep, my husband

94: Had job?

Yep. 5 jobs

95: Left the house without my wallet?

Yeah util i atached my keys and my wallet together

96: Bullied someone on the internet?

No

97: Had sex in public?

In a car parked on the side of the street.

98: Played on a sports team?

Soccer, volleyball, swimteam, softball

99: Smoked weed?

No

100: Did drugs?

No

101: Smoked cigarettes?

No

102: Drank alcohol?

No

103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan?

No

104: Been overweight?

Still am.

105: Been underweight?

No

106: Been to a wedding?

Yes, mine and my best friends and SIL

107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight?

Yep

108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight?

Yep, just watched avatar 1 and 2

109: Been outside my home country?

Mexico.

110: Gotten my heart broken?

Yep

111: Been to a professional sports game?

collage games?

112: Broken a bone?

Broke my radias of my wrist riding my bike

113: Cut myself?

Tried to. Kept to scratching.

114: Been to prom?

No

115: Been in airplane?

Yes. Terrified

116: Fly by helicopter?

No

117: What concerts have I been to?

None

118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex?

No

119: Learned another language?

No

120: Wore make up?

Try to at least.

121: Lost my virginity before I was 18?

Nope

122: Had oral sex?

Yes

123: Dyed my hair?

Not yet

124: Voted in a presidential election?

No

125: Rode in an ambulance?

No

126: Had a surgery?

Yes, c section

127: Met someone famous?

President uchdorf

128: Stalked someone on a social network?

My exs and their girlfriends

129: Peed outside?

Yep, road trips

130: Been fishing?

Yep with my dad. Hoping to have a better experience one day

131: Helped with charity?

In high school and middle school. Worked for toys for tots.

132: Been rejected by a crush?

Yeah. High school asked a boy out to go bowling.

133: Broken a mirror?

No

134: What do I want for birthday?

Dnd table or 3d printer.

[ankhisms]

also just thinking about things in my life rambling dw im fine

again im fine im taking care of myself and going to be seeing a dear friend later which im looking forward to but anyway i kind of had the realization that its very difficult for me to identify when ive been triggered w something related to trauma and abuse because im so used to just going numb and dissociating as a kind of survival response and like immediately making myself smaller and in many cases blocking all of my feelings and senses out and not really being present in my body/not being the one in control and like in the case of my abuser and even with my parents if something theyve done has hurt me or if theyre getting mad at me for something i immediately have always made myself small and done like the kind of fawn response again for survival where my parents and abuser and other adults in my life demanded that i apologize for them hurting me and then gaslighting etc etc but anyway. realized i had seen something that was triggering with abuse/trauma flashbacks and obsessive spiraling and only was able to identify it once i had kind of forced myself to take a shower and ground myself and im like. at a point where i have a LOT of issues with the psych structures the usa has and have my own past of being forcibly institutionalized and abused while in a psych ward so i do NOT want to go back to that along with having some bad therapy experiences. but ive been able to like identify that i think i could benefit from some sort of therapy in the future even with my various criticisms of the psych institutions and i mean i dont really have the money to get therapy right now but im glad that im like. seeing these patterns within myself that ive gained from being abused and traumatized for the majority of my life and am recognizing these things and wanting to go okay. thats something ive done to try and protect myself and to survive. but its not helping me and i want to be able to change and get better even if thats not a linear path. i want to feel more aware of myself and my body and to be able to notice how im feeling rather than automatically shutting myself off and defaulting to not taking any emotional or physical space and not asking for anything/needing anything/wanting anything because thats not healthy for me and its also not healthy or fair to the people in my life who love me and want to do things with me and for me. anyway again im fine and i just got triggered w my parents bullshit and stuff i just kind of needed to get my thoughts out. thank u if you read this ily

[fraener]

9/15/23

each day i get a little closer to happiness and freedom again and notice by looking back how unhappy ive been. my hearts been reaching for anything lately, ive felt stagnant in my relationship and in a lot of ways unseen...i think ive been incredibly bored and lonely for a long time now. this was one of the worst years ive had in a while for so many reasons, but ive been wondering the last few days why on earth i saw fit to let myself get so isolated. i felt at the time i was making every effort to prevent that but i felt crushed by the weight of being treated poorly by people i used to spend time with and just sort of feeling closed off from h. been nearly a year and i still feel closed off. it becomes more pronounced when were out but he often seemingly ruefully squirrels himself away in a corner and watches me talk to other people but doesnt try and participate himself. theres that arrogant kind of shyness that i hate so much again. the expectation that the only kind of social interaction worth keeping up is if someone goes out of their way to engage with you and keeps doing so even if you arent engaging with them. im especially gregarious in most situations so i normally dont notice when people are treating me that way, but i dont like seeing it so close to home. we had a tiff recently because i started hanging out with o again where h actually did hurt me a little and it broke my heart. it took so much to get under his shell enough for him to admit why he was treating me so poorly and it really came to light hed benefit a lot from therapy i think. ive been having a not affair with my coworker where weve been spending sort of questionable time together, feels like romance but we dont ever touch. last time we went out really felt like a date which was nice but hes married so on some level we arent able to enjoy each others company too much. its been scratching an itch for me to have a lot of similarity and humor with someone again, and to learn new things about someone and argue with someone and play. last night he wasnt there at the show but i had such an incredible time talking with everyone and it scratched the very same itch...k came for a visit and i re-met some people from p's birthday party that i really enjoyed talking to. my heart felt so full seeing everyone and there felt like so much possibility before me. it felt like i was coming home to a village after being gone a long time. i dont want to go back where i was this year, i wanna go home to the dark pews and puppeteers and string instruments and laughter and stolen glances and what little magic this place has to offer. what a terrible year it was! i think ill start going to the honky tonk again and spending a lot more time with s and p and j. i really think the big thing missing for me was going to shows with people i like and just being in big group merriment in general. not sure how much longer things will go on with h, he hasnt been kissing me lately and i cant tell if its because i told him i needed space or because of something else. hes been kind of touchy though and the thing where each of you are being sarcastic is being taken seriously because theres something not being talked about under there is starting to happen a lot. i cant tell how much more lonely ill be if we break up. might be the same but probably much worse. i love h but i feel like i dont know where he is and feels very far away, and maybe has felt that way the whole time. i think i thought wed get along better by now. schools starting up again in one week so ill see what happens i guess. i feel ready for change though, in a much bigger and more settled way than i have all year. whatever comes will come and that will be that.

[conanssummerchild]

finallly analising this jdskdjsksj

okay so to start off, the song summer child is pretty much about a person who is hurting, who's struggling but people dont notice, just to summarise it very very quickly. there is so much more to the song tho, and i'll get into that now.

and disclaimer in case i make someone mad, im not saying that mike fits every word of the song, this isnt even rlly an analisis, more of like a silly thing i decided to make so no one come for me 😭 i am interested in hearing ur opinions tho

so anyway, conan starts the song with the lyrics

so with that first line hes saying smth like you see beauty even when there is none, or even when no one else does and in s1 yk how mike is tho only one who wants el to stick around, yeah. also when theyre getting bullied by troy and he says to dustin that he thinks its cool, like he has a superpower like the x men or smth (cant quite remember it)

anyway i dont have much to say abt line two but with all the shit they went thru with the upside down, its hard to imagine he wouldnt be at least a little afraid of the dark at night (also when i was little i was rlly scared of the dark and i kin mike so what i say goes /j)

(TW SELF HARM) i rlly cant say much abt the next line without turning this into projection central, but what i take from this line is conan talking abt self harm, i rlly dont know if this could b interpreted any other way tho? anyway its not that i think mike hurts himself, and there is no evidence in the show claiming he does (at least none that i know of, if there is tell me so i can project harder) but one time back when i got sent to therapy (and refused to talk to my therapist abt anything but mike wheeler) she tried to get deep w me and told me that a lot of people self harmed because they bottled up their feelings so much that in the end that was the only release they could get or theyd like explode, smth abt ppl who felt too much too big. ngl i dont rlly remember but honestly thats so mike wheeler if u ask me (what my therapist said)

ok so this is what i meant when i said not everything fit exactly, bcs while i dont think ted is a good father, i also dont think hes 'mean' in the way i think conan means it

green = byler. mindblowing ik /s

anyway the last two lines i feel like are less abt someone specifically running through sprinklers on their street and more about how when u were younger things were more simple and imo an important part of mikes arc is how he tries to make himself grow up faster, only to later mourn the better days that he lost and it was his fault, and if u ask me this part of his arc has to do with neurodivergency and maski- [GUNSHOTS]

ok and so we get to the part that made me start to think mike was summer child coded, mikes whole little pretense game he has going on, hiding parts of himself he feels arent good enough for people to see, how people have ignored and dismissed his feelings so many times to the point that he just gives up on trying to talk about them, how he struggles with his depression (yes i am a therapist i can officially diagnose him /j) but still puts so much time and effort into helping other people, he's selfless to a fault, to the point that hes hurting himself more than anything else.

how theres always a part of him in the dark, never quite revealed to the audience, portraying how he never fully reveals it to his friends.

so once again i'll mention how ppl have always dismissed and ignored mikes concerns and struggles to the point where he starts to just keep it to himself, and acts angry or grumpy when rlly there is so much more brewing under the surface he just doesnt think he deserves for someone to care, or even just directly thinks they dont care anyway

and ive tried to stay mostly partial so far and not bring up will or mikes sexuality, but in the end i think him being gay is an important part of his arc and definitely present in his struggles and the second to last line makes me think of will being shown to be like mikes sun (his heart ;)) and how hes keeping up a pretense about the way he really feels both about will and el to everyone but himself (no i dont think hes clueless ._.)

so this is actually the part that made me make the original post bcs hello?? the first three lines, did conan just literally write this song about mike wheeler?? mikes self sacrificial nature is something that comes up repeatedly, whether you want to acknowledge it or not. that boy would do anything for his friends, and im not even gonna get into the cliff scene bcs we'd be here all night. but like i was saying, the rest of the lines reference how mike sees the beauty in things others dont, EXCEPT when it comes to himself.

yeah, when it comes to himself he won't see the best parts of himself, only the bad, its up to a bystander (will?? the audience? mikes self concious, or is that too far-fetched?) to quietly observe the way hes falling apart

anyway slay that was bad and long and also excuse any spelling mistakes and incoherency its like 1 in the morning where i live so im analising mike wheeler, as any sane person would. once again, this isnt a proper analisis just something i pulled out of my ass so idk

@apocalyptic-byler no pressure to read this nonsense but u said youd b interested and i said id tag u so here it is lol

Mike Wheeler is so very summer child coded. There, I said it.