#I feel all the joy I used to have for life slowly being ripped away from me

[allthegoodusernamesaretakenagain]

hi guys, quentin is still in my thoughts but i am currently depressed because i am in one of the most toxic work environments everrrrr so please bare with me (ao3 writers curse coming for me i do fear)

[aluciahaz]

Uhhhh could you possibly write an Alastor x Male! Reader? I uh got options because I didn't know if it was okay or not

Fluff- it could be like a date night yknow, Alastor and the reader are dancing together? (The others surprised about it but yknow, go Al?)

Smut- sub Alastor IF YOU WANT! It could have something to do with his ears being sensitive or they could be doing something while doing the radio show OR BOTH-

Whatever you are comfortable with doing idm idm. I just wanted to give ideas yknow

all of these are such good ideas!!! i went with the ears one but i might snatch some of these for latter pieces ❤️ tysm for requesting!

little bambi

—alastor x m!reader ( but it’s not that specific other than the use of the word cock like once sorry 😭)

—includes : sensitive ears, crying,

alastor was never one to like being touched.

of course, he enjoyed invading other people’s personal space, parading his presence of control and eerieness to people in his life, but he hated it when others did the same.

it showed that he wasn’t the one in power. that people were so unafraid of him that they’d just lay a hand on him without a second thought. that privilege was only reserved for special people.

so, of course, it took ages for you to be able to touch him in any sort of way.

and is the reason why, just now, after years into your relationship, you discover an incredibly interesting thing about alastor.

“ngh…mm,” his eyes shut in bliss without realizing, sighing in peace as your fingers scratch the back of his ears, running beneath the tufts of hair at where they started.

the static in the bedroom significantly got louder.

the two of you sit in nearly perfect silence, if not for the crescendo of humming electricity reverberating.

“…can i keep going?” you ask, noticing his stiff disposition and frozen smile. he didn’t like being caught off guard. hated it, in fact.

but you were special.

“yes… you may,” alastor hesitantly says, as though still testing the waters on whether he liked it or not. his ears worked on their own, unfortunately being one of the things he couldn’t manipulate all the time.

they showed his true emotions, just like how his eyes were a window into his dead heart. when you saw them pin back to his head, twitching in anticipation, you don’t wait to comply to his unconscious needs, petting the top of his head slowly.

his static almost sounds like a purr, and he tilts his head forward, now embracing this moment. you chuckle before gently tugging his ears back to make him look at you, only to get a very different reaction from what you expected.

“AH—!” a guttural moan ran away from his once-closed-mouth smile, his mouth agape for a brief second before digging his teeth into his bottom lip, trying to silence his unbecoming noises.

however, even with his attempts to seem less affected by your touch, it didn’t take any time at all to have him beneath you, as he was quite responsive to you with your hands on his ears. alastor just couldn’t get enough. how was he supposed to resist such an incredible feeling?

usually, he was a bit more chatty, biting at you with sharp words and sarcasm. but now, all he could do was squirm and lay his head down, trying to hide his noises behind the back of his hand. which, of course, you pull away, shaking your head in disapproval. “your voice is your pride and joy, is it not? why hide it?”

his ears go flush back onto his head as listens to you, setting his arms aside as you run your fingers down the base of his ears, and soon, time passes with haste.

it seems like it’s only been seconds when alastor lets out a weak wail from the feeling of being slowly filled with your cock, yet by looking at the analog clock on the wall, you can tell it’s almost been 30 minutes. at this point, you’d expect a snide comment from your talkative lover, yet all he could do was cry out in pleasure, his claws ripping the bed below him.

“f-faster, come on—ah!” he gasps as a particularly sharp thrust catches him off guard, cutting his demands short as he tumbles into a rush of moans as you comply with his request.

you could practically hear the moment he lets his dignity shut off, the static suddenly disappearing with no warning as you pet his ears once more, feeling them twitch underneath your fingers.

his mind seemed to be spinning, looping like a channel on repeat. you could tell by how his eyes seemed to fall into this blissful rapture, glazed over and unfocused. by how his words seemed to jumble together like a poorly written script, his usually composed voice sounding more like an amateur on air.

“you’re so beautiful,” you murmur, lifting one of your hands off his ear to brush the mess of hair out of his face, meeting his lovely crimson eyes which seemed to shine like diamonds underneath the dim lamplight.

they only seem to glisten more as you say so, a small whimper slipping off his tongue before he shuts them, a tear rolling down his rosy cheek as he cries out for you without words, but you understand his unbridled desire, picking up your pace to be gifted a loud sob of satisfaction in return.

“i—think, think i’m close,” he breathes out harshly in contrast to his usually smooth voice, his whole body trembling underneath yours. “keep—keep doing th—ah! ffu—,” he’s demanding, yet so sweet. you can’t help but listen.

and with a somewhat distorted moan, he’s sent over the edge as you dig your fingers roughly into the bottom of his ears, making him shudder and tense up with a broken cry.

you look down at the beautiful mess below you, proud of your work. the tears that had dried on his face shined like polish, and the static that usually crackled in the air was gone. it was just the two of you, and as you go and kiss him, he finds that your lips make him feel a bit more sane, grounding him in the moment.

one he’ll never forget.

tags: @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @mvskedxrtist @drlucichen @luciferspetduck

[inubaki]

Taking What’s His

-Chapter 2

-warning for Adams x Lucifer smut-

-commissioned art by @sir-tater-of-the-tot and story by @libby-for-life! A gift for myself. -the bonus comic picture that tater made inspired by this. It’s so good, I still have to add it. Please check them out!!

Not gonna lie. I’m spoiling myself a bit.

—-

"W-what...what do you mean no?" Lucifer stuttered out, not quite believing what he was hearing. Adam looked down at him with an unreadable expression before shrugging, as if indifferent.

"I said what I said. We're done. It was fun while it lasted but you had to know that this was never permanent, right?" Lucifer could only stare at Adam with wide eyes, refusing to let the tears fall. "I mean, you're just a side piece."

Side piece...that's what Lucifer was reduced to? But...wasn't he being good? Doing everything Adam wanted? Why he was throwing him away?! He could fix it!

"I can fix it, Adam! Please!" Lucifer begged, falling to his knees. "Just tell me what I did—"

"You can't fix it, dumbass." Adam said with a roll of his eyes. "Look, my new wife will be back soon and I don't want her to see...this." He gestured towards Lucifer's whole body with a grimace making him flinch. "Just go." And Adam walked away, leaving Lucifer to cry by himself.

This couldn't be happening! Lucifer...was being replaced?! By a new wife?! A deep throated growl left Lucifer's throat, his once blue eyes bleeding into red permanently. His claws got larger as he clawed the ground in anger and his sharp teeth grinded together as they got larger and sharper.

His horns ripped out of his skin, blood pouring down as they grew into full height. His wings were the only thing left of his angelic appearance, though even that was mixed with red feathers amongst the blue. Lucifer didn't care though. He was far too angry. At Adam for leaving but most at this new...human who has come into the picture.

Who did she think she was?

He turned towards the direction of voices. Times to see what the fuss was all about. 

Lucifer spied on them for days, his anger and bitterness growing by the day. It was his new wife, Eve, that was in the way...Lucifer glared at her coldly. What if she was getting what Lucifer had? What if she was getting that pleasure that should have only been reserved for him? His teeth grinded together in his anger once more. He hadn't seen his reflection in a while so he hadn't noticed that his teeth were now dangerously sharp.

She needed to leave. Now. Tricking her was easy. He simply gave her the fruit and told her that she would know so many things with it. The same deal he had once been so eager to dazzle Adam with, he now used to entrap. Unlike Adam, Eve greedily ate the whole thing and Lucifer watched as she slowly realized what she had done.

Lucifer slipped away, knowing that Adam would no longer be with her and that the Archangel could swoop in and take her place.

He should have thought it out better. Should have come up with a different plan because then Heaven got involved making everything so much harder.

The Elders had said, "For your disobedience and your reckless behavior, you will be banished to the darkness you created." Lucifer's eyes widened. That meant...he would never see Adam again. He would never again get that feeling he craved with the First Man. He couldn't let that happen.

XxX

Adam stood amongst the host of angels, the radiant light of their wings creating a halo effect around him, yet he felt an unsettling tension within. He had hoped that the scene unfolding before him would evoke a sense of inspiration or, at the very least, a familiar indifference. However, everything felt different this time.

Before him stood Lucifer, once the embodiment of purity and celestial brilliance, now marred and twisted beyond recognition. In Adam's memory, he could easily bring to mind the angel who had once soared through the heavens, filled with joy and light. But now, Lucifer was neither the angel he once was nor the devil Adam had come to associate him with. Instead, he lingered in a shadowy limbo, exuding an aura of bitterness and resentment. The familiar spark of mischief in his eyes had been replaced with a cold, piercing glare, one that seemed to hold a weighty accusation. 

Lucifer didn't cry or plead as he once had, desperate for understanding or forgiveness. Instead, he stood there, a bitter smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth, gazing at Adam with a look that was almost akin to betrayal. The air between them felt thick and charged, as if the very atmosphere knew the history they shared—both beautiful and tragic.

Eve, standing beside Adam, was a stark contrast to the chaos swirling around them. She cast wary glances at Lucifer, her expression a mixture of concern and confusion. It was almost unsettling to witness her normally composed demeanor disrupted; Lilith, too, was visibly shaken, her usually confident posture faltering. The sight of Lucifer seemed to rattle her, sending ripples of discomfort through her strong exterior.

In that moment, Adam should have felt safe, surrounded by his kin and sheltered by their divine presence. Yet, an unsettling feeling gnawed at him, an awareness that the fragile peace they had once known was slipping through their fingers. The bond that had once unified them now felt brittle, threatened by the weight of betrayal and the remnants of a friendship that had transformed into something dark and complicated.

The atmosphere was thick with tension as the celestial beings observed the unfolding drama, their ethereal forms shimmering with anticipation. Lucifer, the Morning Star, was surrounded by an aura of chaos, his presence a stark contrast to the serene beauty of Eden. His gaze fell upon Adam, who was now acutely aware of the weight of temptation and sin lingering in the air, a testament to the treacherous legacy left by his fallen counterpart. Unlike the fateful narrative of old, Adam had never succumbed to the allure of the forbidden apple this time; Eve had not whispered sweet seductions into his ear, and the fragile balance of their existence remained unshattered—at least for the moment.

Yet, as Adam stood there, drenched in sweat and anxiety, an undeniable foreboding crept upon him. Every instinct screamed that upheaval was imminent. He clung to the hope that the tempestuous storm brewing around him would soon pass, that Lucifer’s wrath would not destroy the fragile peace they still held. He envisioned a future where Lucifer and Lilith would tumble from grace, where Eve would be cast out into the unknown, and Eden would return to its idyllic state, untouched and pure.

Unbeknownst to Adam, the winds of fate were shifting. When Lucifer learned of Adam's unexpected freedom from corruption—a purity that eluded even the mightiest of temptations—his reaction was perplexing. The scowl on his face, once a mask of all-consuming rage, began to fracture. Beneath the anger lay a glimmer of something deeper: a poignant sadness mingled with self-realization, all made raw by a primal instinct that clawed at his very being. 

Just then, the ground beneath them shuddered ominously, morphing into a quicksand of molten despair that threatened to engulf them all. In a heart-stopping instant, Lucifer lunged forward, seizing Lilith with fierce desperation before launching himself at Adam. He pushed Lilith away, sending her tumbling toward Eve, as he gripped Adam with a relentless death grip. The spears of judgment that flew toward him held no terror; he cared not for their piercing intent in this moment of primal urgency.

As the blazing earth caved in beneath their feet, it was as if all of Hell had opened up to swallow them whole, drawing them down into a maelstrom of chaos and sorrow. The air was filled with the cacophony of their struggles, the fierce clashing of intentions, and the chilling echoes of lost hope. The last thing that reverberated in the minds of those left above was the haunting sound of Lucifer’s laughter—sobbing and maniacal, it echoed through the chaos, a haunting reminder of despair, resilience, and the thin line between salvation and ruin.

—-

———

My birthday is tomorrow! And these came just in time! There will be a last chapter and I hope you all enjoyed it. Prevs:

Next:

[thedarkestrivernymph]

Caught

Yandere!Demon x Gn!HauntedReader

warnings: mentions of bullying, sleep paralysis, mentions of hallucinations, paranoia, drugging, attempted kidnapping, attempted murder, murder, gore, death

©Copyright -2024-thedarkestrivernymph - All Rights Reserved

Slender gnarly hands slithered over your exposed skin, curling around your throat, squeezing so tightly that black spots floated around your vision.

You were being chocked.

A silent scream was caged in your throat, while your eyes ripped wide open and death was awaiting you, and you couldn't do a single thing other than stare into two large orbs of never ending black depth.

This was your final moment, the last seconds on earth, you had to do something, anything or else you were going to die—

Or were you?

Hiccuping and gasping you awoke to your sheets drenched in sweat, trembling all over with the sensations of needles pricking your limps, all of them heavy and uncomfortable.

You were always a weird kid, since childhood to be precise. You see things that are not there, feel things that shouldn't be able to be felt and hear whispers in the dead of night. You know of things that you should not know of, things that no one else has discovered yet.

Groaning you drag yourself up, swinging one leg over the other, ascending to your numb feet, barely catching yourself before you fall down again. It's horrible, each morning you awake to a body exhausted and aged, as if you were never granted rest.

Another day of your boring job, simmering away in an office, an occupation you loathe, with coworkers regarding you with the same disturbed glances and hushed whispers that have haunted you your whole life.

Perhaps you may feel strongly, stronger than any other person in the room, but they can sense it, the air of animosity around you. That cursed energy emitting from you.

Maybe that's why every single man you were interested in, killed himself after the very first date.

The hours in the office rolled around painstakingly slowly, yet somehow the seconds faded into minutes and then into hours. You were used to the lingering judgement around you, that none of your colleagues meant it when they smiled at you waving you goodbye as you finished for the day, yet what you weren't used to was for him.

He, your office crush, to approach you.

“Good work today.” he mentioned casually, dropping praises onto you as if you were a golden hen instead of the mascot for all things depressing. You knew what they whispered behind your back, how unbearably edgy you were.

“Uh, Thanks.” you sputtered overwhelmed by the sudden attention, which wasn't unwelcomed by any means but definitely alarming. Alarming in that sense that you now feared for this man’s life.

“Would you like to join us? We’re going out to eat at the new Italian. Might be fun.” he offered lightheartedly with the same picture perfect smile that you fell for.

Instead of joy, you felt your fear now unfolding infront of your very eyes. You just couldn't allow him to also commit the same mistake as all the others. So you flashed him an anxious smile, acting as if you were oh-so busy, apologizing profusely and thanking him.

Yet he was more stubborn than you initially assumed.

“It's really not that expensive if that's what you're worried about! And the food is great. Besides I think it wouldn't be so bad if you opened up more, would make you certainly more popular among our colleagues!” he exclaimed energetically, overly confident, with such a glimmer in his eyes as if he knew, knew about those gnarly fingers that kept trying to choke you. You shook your head at yourself, you were succumbing to paranoia again, this had to stop besides he was right though, you needed to at least try to make this better for you, and it wasn't a date anyways.

So it was win-win, right?

That's at least what you had hoped for. And yet it turned out yo be a disaster. Their burning gazes never leaving you, so penetrating with unfiltered judgement bordering on almost hatred, you couldn't stand it.

Admittedly as the night progressed and you after you managed to pull yourself together after a mini meltdown in the bathroom did things starten to loosen up, well your colleagues certainly did through the help of alcohol. So you started to be drowned in the mass of boisterous laughter and messy gossiping, making you finally stop sticking out like a sore thumb.

Perfect that's what he wanted.

While everyone was too occupied, it was easy to watch you in silence, face a perfect facade, he knew you, that knew the moment you staggered, blinking slowly.

“Hey—everything okay?” asked one of your colleagues who was intimidated by you, yes, but not heartless enough to not notice the odd way your eyes moved, pupils dilating and shrinking, while you felt fuzzy all over, as if you were the one that chugged two beers instead of her.

Before you could even answer, your colleague who had been so kind to invite you jumped up in concern. Worry lacing his tone as he suddenly laid his palm flat against your forehead, startling you with the sudden intimate gesture.

“Are you sick? I wouldn't have suggested you join us if I knew you were sick.” he muttered seemingly more to himself than you, while all you could do was watch in silence, your voice refusing to work no matter how hard you tried.

From then on it was all a blur, you heard all of the noise at once, everything overwhelming and overly stimulating your senses as a arm was draped over your waist, squeezing your midrift slightly as the restaurant faded into nothingness.

There was something like a breeze softly tickling your nape, no, it was someone breathing down your back—it was him, you made out, the colleague who was guiding you to his car.

“Don't worry.” you felt something wet against your neck, body so numb you were uncertain how you were even able to walk. “I will be gentle.” he breathed into your ear, reminding you of same haunting voices that whispered into your ear every night.

You didn't even understand what was happening, his words failing to properly register into your mind, as he dragged you into his car, placing you in the passenger seat like a ragdoll while you couldn't even keep your head upright.

There was only this silent scream deeply plunged in your chest, some sort of instinctive panic, that tried to wake your body up, but nothing, you could only sit there trying to fight off sleep as the engine started.

“Took some time.” he groaned, starting to laugh. It wasn't a laugh you ever heard from him before. That laugh was unhinged, squeaky and something you would hear from a killer in a horror movie.

“Y’know how hard it was to get my fingers on that drug? Phew! Took ages to be discreet! But it worked! God it worked!” he laughed, his tone starting to sound like nails scratching against those green boards you saw in school.

“Fuck—you’re a real weirdo but so hot, god! No one would miss you anyways—easy. And you're just so dumb too! You didn't even think twice about trusting me—or well you didn't have another choice with how drugged you are right now!” you felt your chest tighten, thoughts muddled yet one was clear, concreted in the forefront of your mind—that you had to find a way to escape.

And that opportunity presented itself to you so swiftly, so brashly and so painfully you regretted wishing for it.

You couldn't even make out what occurred, only the sudden flickering of lights, something indescribably loud ringing in your ears, making you want to claw your eardrums out and before you realized it the car tumbled over and crashed.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in Breathe out—

For a moment there was only this ringing, similar to that of a buzzing of a phone, before you glanced over at what remained of you colleague; a pulp of red, raw flesh.

You gagged, but before you could lose yourself in a sea of despair you felt slender, gnarly, icy cold fingers caress your cheek.

“You're mine, human.”

it was an omnipresent voice, words not uttered but received by you nevertheless.

Cursed with the gift of knowing things others couldn't, you were also cursed with living with the owner of those gnarly fingers that gently wrapped around your throat squeezing so tightly until peace crept inside every nook and cranny of your brain, lulling your eyes back into your skull.

[devildom-moss]

hello !! happy anniversary to ur blog and so sorry again for not reading ur rules for the flash requests post 💔

may i request sfw + 12 w solomon. just him pining for reader. like doesn't even have to include dialogue w/mc, i just wanna see him being so horrendously down bad for them hehe thank you 🫶🏻

Thank you, and no worries! I hope you don't mind headcanons with this one. Now, did I get too invested in this request? I think so. It's almost double the intended length. Do I regret that? Not in the slightest. I hope you enjoy it!!

1 year anniversary flash request event - SFW

(Solomon x gn!MC)

Prompt 12 – Your choice: Pining

Pining!Solomon, whose hands tremble when you hug him as he slowly brings his arms up to try to hug you back. For his entire life, he had never needed to be held by anyone – not in the way that he needs you. When he’s in your arms, he almost can’t believe it. It feels too good to be true, like some cruel setup designed to bring him a moment of pure joy before ripping you from his grasp. So, his hands tremble with uncertainty and love and hope that he can never speak of. Solomon will snap himself out of his fear, and when he does, his hands will grip your back and pull you in. He never knows when to let go – or rather, he never wants to. If only he could keep you in his arms for a second longer. If only he could hold you every day. If only your warmth would linger on his skin forever.

Pining!Solomon, who will never give up sitting with his legs spread apart now that he knows the feeling of your warmth pressed against him when he refused to give you the space. He knows it’s rude, but he would do anything to keep that prolonged contact. He needs it. Politeness be damned. What does politeness know of the comfort he gets from the physical proof that you are right by his side?

Pining!Solomon, who traces the spines of his books, mapping your name through the topography of every curve or scratch as he waits for you to arrive for your study sessions with him. When you’re running late, your name exists on the spine of every book on his desk. You’ll live on them forever. Now, he can scarcely scan through his personal library without feeling your presence.

Pining!Solomon, who reviews your last sent message when he hasn’t seen you all day. His fingers hover over the screen as he contemplates reaching out. But is one day too soon? He scans his mind for any believable excuse to contact you.

Pining!Solomon, whose mouth is a reflection of his mind, always wandering in your direction. Whether he’s chatting with the demons or angels or in a conference with the Sorcerers’ Society. He can’t resist asking about your well-being or your daily life (the parts of it that he isn’t involved in). He brags about his adorable, talented apprentice to the Sorcerers’ Society and even random demons and witches he’s acquainted with. However, he’s always careful not to brag too much – less someone try to harm you or steal you right from under his watchful eye. If anyone so much as considered it, Solomon would see red until his anger was soothed by disproportionate aggression or the comfort of your voice and touch.

Pining!Solomon, whose body follows after you whenever you pull away. When you break off a kiss, he leans into you, chasing the feeling of your lips on him again. When you let go of his hand, he reaches forward, ever so slightly, trying to recapture your touch. When you let go during a hug, he inches just a bit closer. When you walk ahead of him, he picks up his pace to catch you. When your bonds strengthen with the others, his heart aches, trying to crawl its way back to you.

Pining!Solomon, who doesn’t know how to be alone anymore. His mind has your face and voice memorized. When you aren’t around, sometimes he imagines you calling him from the other room – that if he sat up and walked in there right now, he’d see your precious face, smiling at him. He’ll use technology and magic to preserve these memories with routine frequency – in case the worst should ever happen.

Pining!Solomon, who has never known fear like this. His entire life could collapse in on itself, making him an emotional black hole, from a simple shift in your existence. That is the magnetic strength of his love for you. No change in your presence goes unnoticed. If you got hurt. . . if you died. . . he would pull all realms into his pain.

But, also, Pining!Solomon, who has never known peace like this. If anything could wash over the wreckage of a garden that Solomon has cultivated himself – sick with rot and death that poisons instead of fertilizing, that smells of chemicals and rust, where only the toxic and wretched could bloom – and make it divine, it would be your presence. It would be your laugh when Asmo has pranked Solomon, and the witty sorcerer was none the wiser. It would be the way you danced along to music with Solomon in the kitchen as you prepared dinner – if for no other reason than pointless joy, then to distract him from his desire to help with the cooking. It would be the way you rolled your eyes when Solomon caused you trouble, because your annoyance couldn’t overcome your affection for him. It would be your warmth and the gentle sound of your breathing as you slumped against Solomon’s shoulder – when he longed to trace his fingers along your beloved form, but the fear of waking you stilled his hands. It would be the trusting, understanding smile on your face, when Solomon couldn’t express his feelings in anything more than a whispered “I love you” – even when you needed his praise shouted to the sky for all to understand.

A/N: this will be the last request for the 1 year event - SFW request day. I still have 3 more SFW requests in my inbox though.

Requests are now closed. I will be working on the NSFW requests tomorrow. Don't worry, if you got your flash request in (or if you're waiting on requests from the previous round of general requests), I'll still be working on those. This was a lot of fun so far, so thank you all for participating with me.

[doodlemcnoodlee]

Uh, I might have gotten to hyper focussed on The dark Side of the Moon lol

Anyways enjoy, this is the longest fanfic I’ve written! Very fun :D

The Dark side of the moon had always been something to be hidden like he was a disgrace among men, never worth the slightest whisper of his name beside the venomous words of Luna when he even bothered being awake during Luna's few break from watching over Earth, when their body became tired after slaving away to make sure their orbit was intact and Earth's tilt was just right, he wasn't worth having a name of his very own or even an identity beside “Luna's dark side” always destined to face away from their planet until the very end.

He would never get to share the joy that sparks in the their core as Luna watches over Earth’s inhabitants go about their day, he'd never get to feel the love they Earthlings so willingly give back to their moon for watching over them all those years, thanking the Moon full heartily for stabilizing their seas and for keeping them safe as they dance under the moon filled sky, many Earthlings have loved Luna for billions of years and well continue loving him for billions more, while Earth and him never get the same respect, Earth can keep Luna (for the most part anyways) in the dark of the Earthlings true, statistic nature, but it's him who has to hear Earth's soft whimpers long after Luna has fallen asleep, all while not being able to do a dame thing about it.

He can only slowly orbit as he listen to their planet weep and cry in pain after so many years of abuse, Earth's illusion of grander and endless self-worth being stripped away as soon as the others rest, when there's no one left to judge him for his tears as they could never understand the sharp, piercing pain Earth feels on a never ending basis, his body becoming numb to the pain as the wars continue on and as his very own materials being use to rip apart his surface pice by pice from the selfish men thinking of their own wellbeing instead of the Earthling they so mercilessly killed.

No other planet could begin to understand how it feels, not even Mars who had an Earthling base be set up on his surface, as it's only one compared to billions.

And none of them knew how it felt to be nothing more then a secret side of someone else, forced to watch as other's live the life you always wanted, to be loved and cherish by few but with their love being stronger then hundreds others, being able to feel their planets arms around you, as you rest on their chest, his soft voice lolling you into deep sleep, with no care in the world other then the vibration you feel as they speak to quietly into the night.

Instead he was delegated to being a bystanders in his own body, forced to listen as Earth kisses Luna's face and whispers how much he loves his 'only' moon, being completely unaware of another just waiting to be heard, as he scream for anyone to notice him just for once! Is that really so much to ask for? He just wants to be hear, just wants to be loved much like Luna is, as said moon begin to make friends other than Earth, he wishes for nothing more then to be able to experience the same life as Luna has, as he gets to talk with the other moons and joke around with the rocky planet or when their surface burns, hot at Earth’s teasing Luna about his 'small' crush on Titan, he wishes more than anything to experience the same things! To go through the small yet meaningful experience of being alive, being able to live instead of being trapped in a body he barely even consider his own, he wishes to be something more then a shadow in someone else's life forever delegated to be hidden away, never to be seen by anyone.

———————————————————————

It was like any other night as he drifted slowly around Earth, looking up at shining stars, littering the sky around them, it was probably the only benefits of being awake, instead of trapped in Luna's mind, he could watch them for hours on end, never getting bored of the same old sight, it was truly beautiful after seeing nothingness for so many orbits, up until Luna decided to give up control again, and he was grateful for any change he gets even if it’s mostly for his other side's benefit. He didn't care, as long as he got to see the stars again.

"Luna? Are you still up?" Their planet asked as he looked up at them, rubbing gently at his eyes. He could feel their body grow tense as he felt Earth's eyes stay focused on them, never looking away even for a second.

"I know you're awake Luna, there's no point in pretending you're not." Earth continues letting out a small huff of air as his natural satellite remains silent.

His throat grew tight as panic set in, their planet had never noticed him move during the night before, why now?! Was the change in tides that noticeable as he went off their usual path? "Ugh! Luna, come on! Why are you ignoring me?!" The worry begin to turn into frustrated as the moon refused to answer him, his voice growing louder as he spoke, he could feel the Earth moving closer to them, his core ached with worry, Earth was never meant to find out about him, Luna made sure of that and would be furious if his secret got out, he needed to wake Luna up and fast! But before he could, a warm hand grab harshly onto his arm, unintentionally burning him after so many years of no celestial contact, "please Luna just talk to me! It's fine if you're upset! But we both promise to tell each other our issues instead of bottling them up!" He could hear the desperation in their planet's voice as the moon remained quiet, only after touching 'Luna' could Earth feel the moon's body begin to shake as fear developed his core, he didn't know what to do! What could he do? Luna wasn't waking up and their planet wouldn't let them escape now.

"..."

Silence filled the air as neither spoke, Earth's grip only grew tighter as worry over took any anger he might have had, a quite "Luna?" Escaped his lips, barely audible in the cold night sky, there was no other sound around them beside the soft snores of Mars near by, "are you okay?" He finished, his planet's voice was soft and loving, like nothing he had ever done heard before, at lest not directed at him, his body only shook more as emotion started to swell in his stomach, bagging to be free but instead coming out as small tears dripping down his face, unsure how to act after so long of being relegated into the shadows. "Oh MY GOD, LUNA!" Earth shouted barely being able to catch the small moon before his knees gave out completely, slowly lowering both of them to the floor as Earth hugged the celestial being as it cries rippled through it's body holding tightly onto his planet's hoodie as his tears wet the soft fabric "shh it's okay, everything is going to be okay" Earth now whispered gently in his ear, tucking their silver hair behind it as he did, the planet's other hand rubbing the small circles onto his back, trying desperately to calm the small moon now holding onto him for dear life.

“I-I-I'm not L-Luna!" The small moon cried out digging his face deeper into the planet's hoodie, he could feel Earth's hands stop its rubbing motion and his breathing growing thin against his ear as he pulled away. He could only let out another loud cry as he feared for what's to come, why did he have to say anything? He could have just stayed quiet and let the Earth sing him to sleep just like he heard their planet do too Luna all those times before!

"Uhhh, w-what?" He could hear the confusion in Earth's voice as he spoke. Feeling the tears wetting his hoodie from the small Moon crying harder into his chest, their fingers griping harshly onto the fabric still refusing to let go, Earth cleared his throat with a cough before he tried speaking again "what do you mean? Bring his other hand originally in his hair down to wrap the small moon into a warm hug, he couldn’t help but lean into it no matter how overstimulated it was for him.

"I-I- " the small moon began before a small hiccup interrupted him "I...I-I'm n-no-not Lu-na" his voice was rough after so many years of not speaking to anyone but Luna, making his vocal cords striated and hard to use. "I-I'm h-h-is d-da-ark s-side" even after he finish Earth didn't push him away like he had feared, didn't yell and scream at him like Luna made him believe after so many years to listening to Luna's mind making up every possible out come of Earth finding out about him. Instead the habitual planet arm tighten around him, letting him cry into his chest as he resumed rubbing small circles into his back.

Earth didn't let the silence continue for long before as countless questions began to pop up in his mind "If you're Luna's dark side how come I never heard of you before" their planet asked trying to keep his voice a levelled and quiet as possible as to not scare the small moon again, "how come this is the first time I've meet you?"

"Be-because L-lu-Luna didn't want you too, neither of us did..." he answered, his voice thick as he spoke, turning his head slightly to breath in the cold space 'air' filling his lungs with the fresh air, his brain relax as he stoped suffocating himself with Earth's hoodie.

Earth's brows lowered as he looked down on the small satellite in his lap, listening to their soft breath as they start to calm down, "Why didn't you want to meet me?" He asked, letting the small moon take their time to answer as he continued to rub his back gently.

"Luna didn't want you to hate us for being wired, because we sheared a body, he didn't want me to scare you by randomly showing up one day" his mouth felt dry as he spoke, his voice wavering as he finished, he could feel Earth's warm hands move gently to underneath his chin as he lifted his head to look straight into the moon's eyes.

"Oh, Moonlight, I could never hate you, either of you!" Earth said his eyes were soft and loving just like his voice, making the smaller's core melt like sweet honey in hot tea, as their planet's hands move again to cup either side of the moon's face wiping away any remaining tears off his cheeks, "And how could I ever be scared of such a cute face!" Earth's caring voice made him want to cry all over again as relief floods to his core, all the guilt and hatred he felt being lifted off his shoulders, shoving his face into Earth hoodie, before small tears escaped his closed eyes as HIS planet returned to rub his back gently as the shock of the moon's sudden movement wore off, instead Earth quietly hummed to his satellite, a smile etched into his face, as he looked up at the stars above them, his mind wondering as he thought about his moons, "do you have a name? Earth asked before he was able to stop himself "like Luna" he continued his core aches at the moon freezing in his arms.

A quiet "No." was his only answer as the moon fingers traced down the planet's hoodie, enjoying the soft fabric against his skin and the short distraction from the sinking feeling settling in his stomach, he never like thinking about his lack of a name.

“Would you like one?" Earth asked his voice filled with sorrow, as he tried to comfort the small moon in his arms.

“Y-y-you'd do that for me!" His eyes sparkled in the sun's light looking up at the planet, his hands gripping onto hoodie.

“Of course! but now to find the perfect name…" Earth said, his face became neutral as he lend back making the moon prop himself up on his arms, as Earth let his head fall back in deep thought, letting out a small hum, his mind wonder over all the name the Earthlings have called his little moons over the billions of years they've roamed his surface, but none stuck out as he mouthed each one, until he remembered the perfect choice, the Ancient Greek equivalent of Luna's own name, meaning Light, brightness and gleam and while the small moon doesn't shine in the Earthling sky like Luna dose, he eyes sure as hell do! almost bright then the stars around them.

“I got it!” The small moon's face lit up as Earth spoke hanging on every word that comes out of him mouth, "you shall be called Selene! A name only for the most worthy of Moon!" Earth boated dramatically his head up into the air, crossing one arm around his chest and another resting onto Selene's shoulder almost like he was crowning the moon with a highly esteemed title (and it was in Selene's mind at lest) only stoping his dramatic performance as a poorly muffled laugh filed the air from the small moon, a smile evident in his face, Selene looked away after meeting the planet’s gazes, slightly embarrassed by Earth seeing them laugh so openly, his core never felt so full…

Earth couldn’t help the small smile from reaching own face, he never knew just how much of himself was missing before he met Selene, any upset he felt at the two moons for hiding Selene for so long, were almost forgiven the moment he saw the moon’s face light up with joy as he laughed at Earth’s performance, probably the first time in a very long time (Earth’s core ached at the thought but that was a issue for another Lunar orbit) instead he kept quiet enjoying the moon’s presence before his impulse kicked in, leaning down to press a soft kiss onto Selene’s forehead making the moon freeze in place, Earth wrapped his arms around the moon, pulling him close as Selene melted into his chest, a world wind of a day began to eat away at his remaining energy, slowly getting lolled to sleep as he felt Earth chest softly rise and fall, the planet running his fingers throw Selene’s hair, said moon let his eyes close, drifting off into a dreamless sleep.

[readychilledwine]

Death of Peace of Mind pt 3

Summary - We all believe Eris has a cabin in the woods where he hides his mate, but what if she wasn't there willingly?

Warnings - NSFW, somnophilia, almost sub vibes from Eris, implied Azris, implied affair

A/N - So, this is coming to a halfway point 🫣 how do we want Rhysand to react? Anger? Joy? Let me know. I have that part open to adjustment. Ps of you see errors, no you don't 💜 P.s.s. sex between her and Eris might get REALLY freaky in one of the last parts 👀👀 is there a line? Let me know.

Double pss?..... did you peep the masterlist? Seren is giving Hecate vibes, and I'm lowkey excited to bring that to life

Series Masterlist Prologue Part 1 Part 2

Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 (aka the end)

Eris couldn't stop tracing every muscle in her back as she slept on her stomach next to him. He had missed this, missed her. He knew he had countless things to apologize for. He knew he had 1000 things to say to her, but he wanted to start with the obvious when she woke up.

He wanted to start with how deeply he loved her, and how sorry he was he let her leave that night. He had a feeling Spring had been plotting something, as did Beron, but his father had told him to ignore it, that his wife, his beautiful mate, would be fine. 

It had been calculated revenge by an angry High Lord, insulted that his own eldest son had been passed over due to laws every court had signed regarding mating bonds. 

Seren had waited before agreeing to marriage and mateship as her father weighed the consequences. He remembered the old Lord of Night's gentle words to her as if they had etched themselves permanently into his memory, "I couldn't break her heart, look at these beautiful eyes and tell me to try to deny her this." 

And Eris could deny her nothing. 3 of his hounds were hers, his food was hers if she asked for it, the blankets if she was too cold, his soul if she wanted to rip it from his very being. Eris was hopeless in love with Seren, and it was his greatest burden and his greatest joy. She was the ultimate weapon against the heir. Had he not beaten Tamlin's side out of the male years ago, Eris would have murdered him in his sleep.

Seren was Eris's weakness, as well as his mother. Two females he had watched his father beat, torture, and harm into false submission. Tamlin's weakness was also his mother. The female beaten, tortured, and damn near killed into true submission. Tamlin had given their location away to save his mother, and Eris used that. Forcing Tamlin into a bargain knowing some day he would need to protect Lucien with the young male's incredibly and increasingly dumb actions.

Eris chuckled as he ran a finger down the bridge of her perfect nose and she scrunched it, wiggling it slightly. He moved to be on top of her, not pressing his body weight in and began kissing down her spine, smirking as she shivered. He licked his way back up, moving her hair to bite her pointed ear, and moving the sheets off the lower half of her naked body. He knew she wouldn't care, the two of them had fucked like rabbits before her faked death, crossing lines the two of them had never imagined they'd find pleasure in, this one was his favorite though. 

He grabbed his pillow, propping her hips up while she continued to sleep and entered her soaking core slowly. He grabbed the headboard and her right hip in his hand, calming himself to have some control as she moaned his name softly and wiggled back on him in her sleep. He began thrusting, slowly. Biting his lip to hold back a groan at the feeling of her velvety walls welcoming him in. 

Seren's mouth parted slightly, her breath picking up with each increasing hard movement brushing her inner nerves. She panted his name again with a whine, causing him to smirk with greedful satisfaction that even after years of forgetting him, of forgetting this, her mind still knew only he could do this to her. 

He finally leaned down to her, kissing the base of her neck before biting her shoulder and picking up speed. Her pants were now full moans, and he felt her waking up through the bond, body fully alert of the pleasureful intrusion and responding by squeezing his cock as if to pull him in further. "That's it dove, wake up for me." 

He kissed the side of her mouth, smiling as those star flecked eyes. "Good girl." He buried his head in her neck, continuing those long heavy drags inside of her and hitting those hidden nerves. 

Seren was in heaven. The comforting weight of Eris pressing into her, the feeling of his hard cock filling every inch, his warmth hugging her. It almost made her heart ache, knowing some magic had been strong enough to make her forget this. Eris whimpered in her ear as her walls twitched, a tight band coiling and threatening to snap inside of both of them. "Take what you need baby," she whispered to him. "I am yours. All yours." That was his undoing, his thrusts became harder, faster, aiming at her gspot over and over until she saw electricity behind her eyes, until her magic slowly started to pour out of her. His name was now a prayer on her lips, falling from them over and over as his movements became sloppily and his growls became moans of her name carving into her skin. "Cum inside me, Eris. Need you to fill me, baby." 

And as they both knew, Eris could deny her nothing, he fell over the edge with a loud groan, hand instantly finding her clit and circling it to rip her over with him. The lightning was no longer behind her eyes as she came screaming his name. Outside, Seren had changed the bright beautiful daylight soaking the Autumn court in a soft pink and orange glow to a heavy rainfall within seconds. 

Eris panted above her, another whimper falling as her walls squeezed his sensitive cock, milking him for every drop. She shifted herself to kiss him deeply, pumping love, comfort, and her own pleasure down their bond to bring him to overstimulation. He collapsed above her, hugging her tightly. "I love you," he began those one thousand words. "I'm so fucking sorry Seren."

Cinnamon, Sage, and Nutmeg stood guard around Seren as she cooked for herself and Eris. Sage had taken station to her right, Meg to her left, and Cinnamon sat happily, tongue lulled to the side between her legs, keeping watch on the door. Toast sat away from her, waiting for her father patiently as she seemingly threw glares towards Seren. Eris had left 2 other hounds, Fennel and Hops, who had taken post on the couch near the window. Seren carefully stepped over Sage, reaching for the 3 spare steaks she had purchased from the market under a glamor and began to slice it into 12 equal parts. She heard the door open and the pattering of soft paws in the room. Cinnamon, Sage, and Meg moved running to greet the owner of that scent of bonfire and warm apples. "Smells so in here good, dove. What'd you make me?"

Seren smiled as Eris moved to her, holding her waist and kissing her temple. "Steak with rosemary and butter, potatoes, mixed veggies, and there's Cinnamon sticky bread in the oven." 

Eris groaned in joy, head falling back with a smile. "Did our children get steak as well?" Seren nodded. "You spoil them. Feeding them high grade cuts." He lifted the bag she had in the sink and smiled shaking his head. "No wonder they all love you more than me. Except for Toast."

"Dig the knife in deeper, Eris," Seren threw a glance to the direct Toast was in, only to find her glued to Eris's side. "I purchased an extra chicken's foot for her." 

She felt his love hit her instantly through their bond. Toast was his baby, his first of the mythical long lived hounds that he had trained. She would always be particularly close to Eris, hating the female who stole her spot in bed regardless of how many extra snacks Seren brought home to her.

But that had never stopped the Night Court female from trying. 

"We should discuss the matter of Rhysand and how you want to handle this, Seren." She shook her head, motioning towards the bowls and setting them down in front of each hound with a kiss on their noses. "I know you are afraid, I am too, but Lucien is there now, and he will be able to see the enchantment that was used on you."

Seren paused, halfway bent over to the largest male hound, Linden. "How?" 

Eris sighed. "Amarantha ripped his eye out. Helion and Thesan had Nuan construct a replacement, it was enchanted to be able to see through spell and magic work."

Seren shook her head. "So, we are still denying it then?"

Eris nodded. "Until the wheel breaks," he phrased it carefully, eyes darting towards the window, "we will not speak of it." 

She nodded. "How is Lucien?" 

"Don't avoid the topic, dove." 

Seren handed him Toast's bowl, ensuring the girl saw her put the extra foot in just for her, before washing her hands. "We start with Azriel, not Rhysand."

Eris felt his blood instantly cool at the mention of his mate's former lover. "Why?"

Seren looked at him, a brow raised. "I could smell him on you, Eris. The scent of cedar and Mist mixed with yours isn't one I'll soon forget. I may not have remembered him, but I knew that scent."

Eris's face flushed. "It was only a few times."

"A few?" Seren moved and kissed him gently. "Was it good?" Her husband nodded. "Would you do it again?" He nodded again, smiling at her teasing grin. "Can I join?" Eris stiffened, his face falling. She rose a brow challenging him and the sudden possessiveness that was becoming clear in their relationship. 

"No," he said firmly. "Not until I've had my fill of you first." 

Weeks later, Seren felt like she was going to throw up. Eris held her tight as they walked through the dark stone halls towards the room she knew he stayed in.

"Almost there, dove," he comforted her, pulling the hood over her head a little more. "We are being watched."

She knew that already. She knew the second Eris winnowed into the Court of Nightmares with an undetectable other person and 3 hounds, Azriel would be there, and they had been planning on it. She just hadn't been planning on this overwhelming dread setting in from stepping back into this cursed place.

Eris entered the doorway to his normal room quickly, pulling her in and shutting it before growling and shoving her behind him.

"Remove the hood," a cold dark familiar voice made her eyes close and every ounce of fear melt from her body. "Now." A pin could be heard dropping when she did and looked up at the blue siphoned male. Eris caught Azriel as he stumbled back, whispering words of comfort to him as he sat the male down on the chair. 

"How? We.. her body. Her." Eris visibly flinched at the unneeded reminder of how "her" body had been found. "Eris-"

The heir shook his head. "I do not know, Azriel. All I know is she was adopted by a family in Autumn. She had no memory of who she was or what happened. I gave her space hoping it would wear off, it never did. I just figured out how to break it."

"Does Rhysand-"

"No," she whispered softly. "I was hoping you would bring him here."

Azriel nodded, taking a few deep stilling breaths. "Does your father know?"

Eris shook his head. "And if all goes well, he won't until it's too late. Never again." "Never again," he agreed softly. Azriel moved to her, raising his hands to her face. She sent him a wave of calm, stopping the trembling and letting him do what he needed. 

His soft touches started with stroking her cheeks, fingers gently sweeping her eyelashes. Then he traced her nose, gently tapping it like he had when she was no more than a little girl begging for affection from him, Rhysand, and Cassian. He then moved to holding a long piece of her silky raven hair, rememorizing the slight shades of blues and purples that hid in it. Both of his hands finally rested on her shoulders before ripping her to his chest, tears freely falling as he buried himself in her scent of moon flower and vanilla beans. "I missed you."

Seren sighed into his body, eyes shutting softly as she allowed him to scent her, ensuring he took a small piece of her home to Rhysand. "I missed you too, Azzie."

Eris took deep breaths, calming the protective rage that the simple sign of love and affection between his mate and another male brought him. 

The two of them were holding eye contact, a silent conversation Eris wasn't privy to being had between his mate and her first crush. “Rhys is shopping for gifts for Starfall at the Rainbow today,” scarred thumbs ran along high cheekbones. “Perhaps you two should find our moon a dress. He should be heading that way in an hour or so. I could alert him to… activity in the Palace of Thread and Jewels.” 

Seren nodded. “You and Cassian may need to be with him.”

“We've never left his side,” Azriel said softly. “And we'll never leave yours again either.” 

Eris smiled as Seren lead him through the streets of Velaris, a wide smile on her face highlighting those dimples. “Almost there,” she whispered. “They have my favorite dresses. I have missed them so much, Darling.” 

Eris smiled, kissing her hand as a shadow alerted them Rhys, Cassian, and Azriel would be there soon. “I know, dove.” They paused in front of the shop, Seren's eyes wide as they took in the nude illusion gown in the window. “Go, my love.”  

The dressmaker dropped her tools the second they entered, dark brown eyes wide as she took in the princess of the Night Court. “Princess Seren,” her voice was shaking as Seren looked closer at the gown. Admiring the gem placements that formed emerald leaves. “I- would you like to try that on, dear?”

“Please,” Seren nodded eagerly. “I already know I like it and want it, but I still like my dresses tight despite Autumn standards.” 

That's how Eris found himself, a glass of deep red wine in his hands as he sat in the private dressing room. He waited patiently as the seamstress kept his mate in that closed off room, pinning the much too large dress tight along every Mother Blessed curve of her body.

He scented them before he heard them. The familiar scent of leather and weaponry oil that followed Illyrians like a second skin. “Rhysand. Hounds,” he greeted calmly. “To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit?”

He heard Rhysand chuckle darkly. “I believe I should be asking you that, Eris. Why are you in my court unannounced and unwelcomed?” 

Eris shrugged. “You demanded I attended your damned Starfall Celebrations. My date needed a dress.” A growl tore through Rhysand. The same growl that always did when he imagined someone else standing in his sister's place. “You should sit, Rhys.” Eris warned as the soft click of heels was heard on the hardwood flooring. 

The genuineness of the warning had the High Lord obeying, taking a spot next to the Autumn heir and studying that emotionless mask for any sign of a Crack. 

Cassian was the first to break, dropping the bottle of wine he was reading the second she entered the room. 

And Rhysand? All he could do was sit there in silence, staring in shock as the seamstress moved her to the pedestal. 

“So lovely on you, dear,” the female stepped back, bowing her head to her High Lord. “I will allow you all to speak. Please ring for me with questions and a decision.”

The drag of the door and click of the handle was a match.

And it was Seren, misting the broken wine glass and spilled bitter beverage away that was the bomb. 

[locaboa99]

PaperHat Wip

(505 is tortured, read at your own discretion)

The bear roared in pain at the first spill of the acid sprayed onto him. The concuction sizzled as it moved quickly in deteriorating the fur and running down to the skin and bone in a matter of seconds. Once it reached the muscle underneath, it started to spread slowly in its parameter. The sensation burned 505, who roared in anguished as it seeped down. He flailed his arm around, trying to cease the pain but to no avail in helping.

The men that surrounded his cage laughed, watching 505 try to get away from his own deteriorating arm. He would hit the bars with a clang every now and then and wail for help that wasn't coming.

"No!"

Flug found a way to rip himself away from the goon holding him down. He pushed forward to reach for the bottle of acid at the hands of the enemy but was suddenly tackled back down by the same man. Gasping in pain, he tried to struggle only to have the man place his knee on his neck.

"Enough Gilligan, pick him up." The Commanders voice boomed.

He inhaled immediately, blinking the white spots from his vision as he was forced back onto his feet. The man known as Gilligan kept a hold of his wrists behind his back, and the other kept a good hold on the metallic collar on his neck.

"Now, Doctor, I have a preposition for you."

He aimed the spray bottle back at the cage to 505. Flugs eyes widened in fear as he tried to push forward once more. He could hear Demencia in her own cage trying to escape. Even when her mouth was covered, he could hear her muffled screams.

"Don't hurt him!" Flug pleaded. "505 is innocent and has nothing to do with any of this!"

505 had gone quiet with silent sobs as he shook in pain, trying to claw the floor of his cage. Flug kept his eyes attentively on his creation-his son - trying to think of anything that he could use to heal him quickly before anything spread to any vitals.

The Commander kept his arm extended, aiming at 505. His eyes never wavered from the scientist as he tsk'd in disappointment.

"Oh, but Dr.Flug, he has everything to do since you created him with the wretched elderitch beings' blood." he spat out, snapping his eyes to look at Blackhat, who stood in his own special cage behind the scientist.

Flug shook as his stomach churned. He could feel himself sweating as his heart ran a mile away from him.

No one other than Blackhat himself knew the truth about 505's creation. It had taken so many sleepless nights and much back and forth to get the biochemicals to bond with the elderitch's DNA. It was a risk, but the end results ended with an indestructible failure that Flug would rather die than get rid of.

505 was the closest thing to a son Flug will ever have in his life.

To know that someone had constructed some form of concoction that truly hurt his boy was a nightmare to realize.

"-and because he is of blood of Blackhat, he must be destroyed." the Commanders voice got lower as he sprayed once more for 505's wounded arm.

Flugs heart jumped to his throat in pure panic as 505 yowl in agony as he threw himself around the cage. The man once more started to howl in sadistic enjoyment. The Commanders eyes glinted with pure joy as he watched the scientist struggle to get closer.

"Stop! He is innocent-he's harmless! He would never hurt anyone -" he sprayed once more, "N-NO 505!!"

The Commander was enjoying the chaos he was causing. He took delight in the screams of the bear, the laughter of his men, and over all the stricken pain in the doctors voice as he pleaded for him to cease.

Flug watched through teary eyes as 505 tried to scratch his arm off, wanting the torment to end. His dark blue blood squirted out and matted with his light fur through the process. His eyes looked feral with shed tears as he roared his lungs out.

Demencia covered her face, watching in silent horror as her own tears streamed down.

Blackhat kept his face devoid of any emotion as he watched the suffering bear and his struggling scientists. His hands tightened around the bar handles at every plea he heard Flug give as the Commander kept spraying on the same spot.

After a while, 505's right arm plopped to the floor with a thud, and immediately, so did the bear who heaved trying to catch his breath.

"P-please, I'll do anything. Just please leave him alone." he sobbed out, watching his son stop fighting the deterioration as that still continued onto his upper part of his arm. If he didn't act quickly it would be too late.

"Hmm...Anything, Doctor?" Commander made a wave with his hand, which was some form of sign to Gilligan to let him go and threw him to the floor.

"Y-yes! Just leave him alone!" He stood up looking at the man in front of him.

"Take the bag off."

"W-what!-

The moment of hesitation was all the Commander needed to maneuver the bottle and aim for 505s left leg next.

Another loud shriek erupted from 505 as he continued with his thrashing in his small cage. Flugs heart squeezed in guilt.

"Stop stop I'll do it!!"

And so the bag was off and between his trembling hands.

Everyone stared. No one but the wailing bear made a peep.

One of the men finally broke the silence by whistling loud enough to break the spell before he burst out in a bout of laughter and pointed at Flugs face.

"Oh my God,he is fucking adorable, ha!"

Flug swallowed as he kept his golden eyes on the Commander, who couldn't look away from him either.

"N-now leave 505 alone." he demanded.

The Commander gave the bottle to the closest goon as he walked close to him. He raised a hand to grab a freckled cheek and squeeze. "Huh?"

Flug didn't make any sudden movement as that hand raised to grab his disheveled curly brown hair. He let the man be distracted with him if it meant he would stop.

As if enraptured with pulling the coils and watching them spring back up through his fingers, the Commander started to mumbled. "You are younger than I thought, Doctor.."

Flug ignored him as he looked at the bottle and then at 505. The bear was heaving as he laid on the far corner away from his dismembered arms, now only muscle and bone. His eyes hazy with new tears looking tired of fighting the inevitable. Fur matted and dirtied with his own blood and sweat.

Flugs stomach dropped at the sight of the extended leg that was affected. He had aimed under the knee cap, and it was deteriorating faster than the arm.

It didn't look like 505 would last any longer..

"Just let me work on him, and I won't run."

The hand around his hair stilled. Grey cold eyes snapped down at him.

Flug swallowed as he clenched his first to prepare himself for his next words.

"I-I will do anything,j-just let me heal 505."

The Commander hmmm'd in contemplation before grabbing a huge amount of hair and putting force to push Flug down.

Flug hissed in pain, trying to pull himself free.

"Kneel." he commanded.

There were small snickers around them as he was forced down onto his knees. He was forced to look up at the burly man who looked down at him with an unreadable look.

Blackhat growled in the background.

"Now," he smirked down at the younger man, "Pledge yourself to me Dr.Flug."

"Don't you FUCKING DARE FLUG!!" Blackhat roared in anger.

Flug stayed quiet as he stared at the Commander. The light fixtures behind him make it hard to see his face.

"FLUG!!" Blackhat growled, making him jump. He tried to turn to look at his boss, but the hand holding his hair pulled him back to face up.

His mouth quivered knowing what would happen if he did.

Pledging himself to anyone else other than his boss would null his soul binding contract with him and could possibly kill him.

The Commander cocked his head to the side as he waited patiently.

"I-I-I..."

The small, painful whine snapped his attention back to his bear. His eyes started to tear up at the sight of his creation - his son, his 505, slumped on the corner looking worse by the second. His little yellow flower seem to be paling and wilting as one by one the petals started to fall around his snout.

His son watched him with tired eyes and still tried to give a reasuring smile to his terrified father. He was still looking out for Flug while he himself slowly died.

"I p-pledge myself to you Commander-

"FLUG YOU IMBECILE!!!"

Demencia was taken out of her cage by her hair. The giant woman held her dangling in the air as the lizard mutant curses of pain were muffled.

The giant muscular woman holding her snickered. "Now by default she is ours to Blackie!"

They all hollered as she yanked harder, watching the mutant try to escape her. They stared with hungry eyes.

Blackhat trashed.

Flug kept his eyes down as his now ex-boss cursed him out until he was electrocuted. They kept laughing louder at the loud shriek. The elderitch snarled, trying to get back up, which seemed futile as they kept tasing him for entertainment.

"Aw look at him, it's like he cares AHAHA!"

Flug turned, only to be held up in the air by Gilligan once more. His hands seem to roam up under Flugs shirt.

"Take them to the quarters and drop the bear and the demon down to the basement together." The Commander shouted.

One of the scruffy men pushing Blackhats cage hollered at the demon.

"Who would have thought that the great Blackhat was such a dog! A bitch of a babe and a cute twink! Ha you wouldn't mind if we share'em do yah pal?"

The only response was a growl as he tried to move. Any success ended with him only getting electrocuted once more.

[haithamsbb]

all good things come to an end

wanderer x fem! reader oneshot

warnings: angst, major character death (you), illness

summary: you and wanderer promised to always be there for eachother, to stay by eachother forever, but all good things come to an end, and soon you develop an incurable illness and scara is bound to lose you

“No.. please.. don’t leave me..” A broken sob comes deep from within the puppet. “No..no.. please…” He claws at his chest, trying to stop the feeling of being suffocated inside.

“Im sorry.. I really am..”, you coughed out. Every breath you took was one step closer to your inevitable death, and you knew it. “Please.. after I’m gone, find someone new.. someone better…”, you smiled weakly at Scara and your eyes slowly closed, no longer reflecting the stars of the sky. “I could never.. find someone new.. nobody- nobody is better than you..” Wanderer sobbed over your body that once was the cause for his joy, now the cause of his pain and suffering.

“Why.. why must everyone betray me?”, he asked himself. Wanderer slowly rose to his feet and picked you up gently, he carried you in bridal style all the way back to your home, and set you, his beloved girlfriend, down in the grass. He reached in his pocket, and pulled out the ring that fit just right on your finger, the one he was supposed to give tonight, before your untimely death.

“I love you, Scara!”, you said as he twirled you around the garden. “I love you too, my little dove.”, he replied.

“Scara?”, you mumbled. “Yes, darling?” “I love you, please don’t ever leave..” “I’ll never leave you here my little dove”, he replied.

“Please.. don’t leave…. My love? My darling? Dove?”, Wanderer sobbed out in the once lively home.

When you discovered that you had the illness, Scara did everything in his power to keep you relaxed and did all the work in the house for you. Mopping the floors, cooking, cleaning, anything that required you to use physical strength, he would supply for you.

“Scara..?”, you asked. It was a cold night, and Scara was holding you close, as if afraid you would slip away in the dark. “Mmm”, he replied. “I love you.. don’t forget that..”, you whispered. As you fell asleep he cradled you in his arms, whispering sweet nothings to you.

“No.. why… please- please come back..”, Wanderer sobbed into the pillow that once smelled like you, hands digging into the bedsheets to find something- anything he could hold on to, to comfort himself with.

After hours, Wanderer slowly rose from the bed and walked over to your desk. The desk you always spent sleepless nights at, writing on a piece of paper you wouldn’t show him. He ripped open the drawers and found a letter addressed to him. Thinking that nothing else could hurt him now, he opened it.

To my love, Scaramouche

First off, if you are reading this, I must be gone already. I love you more than anything in the world. I hope after my passing, you will have found someone new who can love you better than me. I promise I won’t be mad when you find another, I’ll always be waiting for you up here. Scaramouche, Wanderer, Kunikuzushi, no matter who you are, or what you look like, I will always find you in another life. I’ll love you for eternity and I hope you know this. There’s also something I’ve been meaning to tell you. I saw the ring in the bedside drawer, and if it was meant for me, my answer would be yes. I love you so much, thank you for making me the happiest girl alive.

Your dove, Y/n

As Scaramouche read the letter, he didn’t realize he was crying until he felt wetness dripping down his face.

“Why- why are you.. still so precious to me- even after death?”, he choked out. “WHY CAN’T I FORGET YOU?”, he let out an anguished scream because he knew that he would never mean those words. He loves you too much, too much to bear.

As he walked through the busy streets of Sumeru City, someone bumps into him. “Tch.. you foolish mortal. Watch where you’re going.” “A-ah I’m sorry good sir, I wasn’t paying attention..” Scaramouche freezes when he hears the familiar voice. No.. it’s can’t be.. “Y-y/n?”

i- okay this angst sucked but scara nghhh - amber

[sebastian-queen]

That was a million years ago

So, here we are once more. Almost 7 years and a liftetime later. I haven't been on tumblr in forever and I haven't been missing it either. BUT... I have been slowly falling in love with watching tv shows again and my current obsession is 'the rookie' and the pairing of Lucy Chen & Tim Bradford. And there's a lot I need to get of my chest and I need to have a place to put things.. This might be it...

I haven't watched 6x05 or 6x06 but saw enough for this to come through.

It feels like her heart has been ripped out of her chest, the moment he walks away. Half of her wants to run after him, scream that it's not his choice to make alone, but her feet won't give. She just stands there, unable to move, she feels lightheaded before she realizes she had forgotten to breath. She blinks through her tears until the only thing she sees is his faint frame in the distance, that's when she finally lets herself go completely and starts sobbing uncontrollably. The only person she thought would always be by her side, who would stand his ground next to her, just left her and she's not sure she's ever going to be okay after this.   ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's a week before she manages to look him in the eye again and mutter a silent 'hello' when he greets her from across the hall. She feels like all eyes are on her and she hates it. She hates that the job that used to give her so much solace and joy is just a stiff reminder of the one person she wants most in the world but can't have.  So, it's to no surprise to her that she eventually finds herself in Grey's office. 

'I need to transfer to a different station' and even she hears the emotional turmoil in her voice 'it's time.'  

'Lucy. I don't' 

'Sir, please. This is hard for me. This station is my family, but it just hurts too much to be here, to be around him' she all but whispers the last part as her eyes catch the person she's talking about. 

Grey just stands there watching her and it's as if he can already see that she's made up her mind because as much as he probably wants to, he doesn't stop her, or tries to change her mind and for once she appreciates it more than she's able to put into words. "I'll put in the papers" he says. 

'Sir' She says, tears staining her eyes but she's quick to push them away 'it has been an honor working here. This place will always have a special place in my heart.'  

It's another three agonizing days before she gets pulled into Grey's office again. Three agonizing days of longing looks quiet hellos and a whole lot of silent tears.  

"Lucy, I just heard back from the Hollywood division. They are thrilled to have a rock star officer as you on their team' she hears hem say the words and the emotion is written on his face 'if you still want to go.'  

'I do. I need this, sir.' 

'Then I guess this is your last shift at Mid-Wilshire. We sure as hell are going to miss you around here' and before she can say anything else she feels herself engulfed in the biggest hugs she has ever gotten from her sergeant and for once she lets herself ease into it completely. It's awkward but also very comforting at the same time. 

'Thank you for everything, Sir.'  

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not until she's clocked out that day that the reality and finality of it all hits her all at once. She doesn't know why but she finds herself walking towards his desk. He looks at her a little bewildered and he opens his mouth to speak but she hushes him 'Please don't say anything, just listen' and he nods. 'It has been an honor being part of your life, Tim. I hope you get everything you ever hoped for, and more. But for me, this is it. I need this.' She points between the two of them 'to not hurt so much. And the only way for me to do that is to leave.' 

She sees the confusion on his face when she drops her badge and gun on his desk 'You are simultaneously the best and worst thing that ever happened to me, Tim. And I love you, I will probably always love you, but this is destroying me, and I can't do it anymore.' 

He is gripping her hand and before she manages to protest, he pushes her into an empty interrogation room 'What do you mean? What are you saying, Lucy?' 

She gulps back the lump in her throat 'I just finished my last shift. I'm not coming back tomorrow' she all but whispers. 

What? You can't just leave' he pleads, and she can see the turmoil written all over his face. For the first time in a month she lets herself look, really look, at him and she sees the bags under his eyes, the wrinkles on his forehead that are a little more prominent than they were before, and she can see his big, beautiful eyes filled with tears. 'It's done, Tim.'  

'Lucy' he manages to choke out but she's already out the door. She can't do this again, it's done. He was the one who broke her heart and when she eventually walks through the front door of the Mid- Wilshire department, she brings herself to look back one last time to the station and the person she left half of her heart with.  

Yeah, it's completely and utterly clear that Lucy Chen will never be the same again.  

---------------------------------------------------------------------------

So yeah, there you have it.. I just needed a place to put it and this was it..

[theoriginalkittyromero-blog]

FLEETING THOUGHTS

It was about time something happened, upon pain and destruction, coursing inside my head. Is there a reason? Maybe. No. Definitely. Do I remember? Clear as day. Maybe it all started when I was 11. Maybe it started with my birth. I wouldn't know. That is, what I can't remember. Analysing it, I think something triggered it. Maybe my narcissistic mother, or that man that stole the one thing that every woman keeps holy. Virginity is something we deem closest to us. But what does it mean? The first kiss? The first hug? The first time drinking something alcoholic? There is always a first time. For everything. Only, if we realy know and cherish this, we know to worship life itself. But what if that chance gets taken from you? What I wish to tell is, that there may be a first time, but most times it is with the wrong people, some times the wrong time or even with the wrong feelings. Things get taken from you, from me, from all of us. We tend to hang onto these things, but then, at some point, it is nothing anymore. We forget why we hang on, we forget what that feeling was, what the people that were with us felt or how they looked. Life is by all means not short. You can see and feel it when standing in line to buy something, when we wait for something and even when we can't fall asleep because something keeps us up. On other occasions it is way too fast. When you feel comfortable, when you enjoy the time you are spending with someone you like or doing something you love. Now... My life tends to be very slow. The feeling of having lost the joy of life, kreeps onto me. Doctors call it Depression, Family calls it a phase. But I know, deep down, that I am analysing way too much. I tend to overthink, not fast as others but slowly. Boring myself with it to the point of me trying to do anything to break my mind away from thoughts. Playing guitarre, listening to music until I become deaf, drawing, reading, binge watching shows and movies. The pleasure doesn't lay within any of those things, at least not anymore. It lays with a person dead already. someone, nobody will be able to replace. Someone, some call mother, Father or any other Family member. Maybe even a dog or cat. The crushing feeling, of having lost that someone, makes my heart heavy without me noticing. Now, sometimes I find joy again and life is better. But everybody leaves at some point and everybody has someone else, where life seems faster. Is it what we wish for though? Life to be fast? We say we want to cherish moments, say we don't want them to end. But what if that hug felt a little too crushing? what if... The list is endless, seeming to not be able to stand on it's own. All what if's can be answered though. The only problem, is that everybody answers them differently. That is something good, realy. But I don't want a hundred answers. I want the one answer that tells me, why I feel empty without that someone, why I can't understand my own feelings sometimes. why I don't know what to write and still, my fingers keep typing. Is that your magic? Did you give me something new to make my life faster? My pulse rushes when thinking about you. My heart pounds again. I thought it was dead since so many took and took. Never giving anything back at all. So selfish, so miserable. Like they didn't have anything else to do, other than make me more miserable. Confusing me more, ripping parts out until I am left empty like that one roll of toilet paper during Corona. Or when everybody send Sunflower Oil to the Ukraine. How selfish. To not think about others but to still want to stand in a light. I am not a good person. Not a good living being. And still... I crave you. I feel drawn in. But sometimes, you lure and on other times, you push away. I try not to feel again but you make me feel and I cherish the pounding of my heart once more...

[bella-goths-wife]

I have your back

Faith x reader x father lost boys

Tw- gore, murder, mentions of religion, sexism

You waited patiently outside the church for faith. You had promised her an opportunity to get out of the house for a while and grab some ice cream. All she had to do was sneak away from her father long enough to have fun, which was becoming increasingly hard these days as he started to get suspicious of her constant nausea and sick bugs.

You sat on the steps and waited for her while your head filled with thoughts of James. You rarely thought about him these days since the incident four month’s ago.

When it first happened, you were broken. You didn’t remember a life before James and his protection. It was the first time you were vulnerable around faith, she made you feel safe emotionally while you protected her physically.

She dragged you out of your depressive episode kicking and screaming. She was there through the lack of hygiene and the constant crying that caused your eyes to look puffy and red. She would make you meals when you refused to eat and would stay with you until you finished every bite. She was your saving grace throughout it all.

Your head rushed with a warm feeling at the thought of the help she had given you. This was the feeling you were used to. It would always come about whenever faith was near. She filled your head and comforted you through your unimaginable pain.

You decided to wait longer than expected, thinking she must be caught up.

You had no idea what scene you would walk into next.

———————————————————————

“I’m feeling quite ill father” faith lies while her fathers back was turned “I think I should walk home”

Her father simply huffed out a laugh which caused faith to freeze in her tracks and turn slowly, keeping her eyes trained on her fathers back in fear. That laugh was never a sound of joy.

“Tell me faith” he says calmly with his back still turned “when did you become such an insolent child?”

“W-what do you mean father” faith squeaks out in fear as he mind goes to you waiting at the entrance, would you save her?

“Well child” faiths father turns around slowly while clutching his cross in his hand tightly “you have been lying to me”

“W-what” faith decides that lying is the only way out of this “I would never”

“But you have” her father yells “repeatedly you have lied to me, your sudden sicknesses were all sinful lies”

Faith just looks down and prepares herself mentally for a beating. Her finger subconsciously rubbing the burn scar on her leg from the hot spoon he had pushed on her a few weeks ago.

“No matter” he signs out calmly before walking towards her “you will overcome this teenage rebellion, I have found you a suitable husband from the congregation”

“What” faith says shocked “who?”

“Johnathan baker is to be your husband come summer” her father says as he looks her up and down and gives her a raised brow as to see what she would do “you will bear him strong boys and you will make up for the abominations you have caused, starting with being born as the weaker sex”

“But father” faith protests “Johnathan is forty five and I’m eighteen”

“Your point girl?” Her father said condescendingly with a raised brow

Faith lowered her head and channeled the courage you had brought into her the last six months of her life. She raised her head with a determined look and brought her eyes to her fathers.

“I won’t do it” faith spits out “I will not marry that man”

“You will shut up and do as your told girl” her father grasped her shoulders and shouted in her face “you ripped your mother open and killed her the day you were born, you will give me a healthy grandson to make up for this atrocity”

“I will not!” Faith yelled back, hurt by her mothers death being spat into her face “you can’t make me, I’m eighteen now you can’t control me anymore”

Her father brings his hand back and hits faith across her face. She falls to the ground and holds her face in pain as her father looked at her with disgust

“I knew this would happen eventually” he sighs out “you make friends with a heathen and you start acting like her, don’t think I don’t know about that little she devil you spend your time with”

Faiths breath hitched at the mention of you, how much did he know?

“You will not see her again” her father continued “you will marry Johnathan and have his children, if you really feel unable to go on without her we’ll get you another pet, perhaps a cat”

Faith felt anger ignite in her blood as he insulted you. You were an angel not a heathen, you were more than a mere animal you were her everything.

Faiths father had his back turned to her while she slowly got up and slowly approached. He continued his rant while she felt her sharp cross digging into the skin of her neck. It was once her mothers and the end was always sharpened, she had guessed it was for her mother to protect herself from what her father had called “dark spirits”. Her brothers had carried similar weapons but she never knew why, he always said it was for his job.

She grasped her cross in her hands and felt her fear slowly leave as she approached.

“If you go near that devils child, I’ll have her stabbed through the heart before you can even blink” her father threatened and faiths blood boiled.

She slowly raised the cross into her hands and brought it down into her fathers turned back. He falls down and scrambled to fight but faith was too quick. She got on top of her father and brought the sharp cross down again and again until his angelic white clothes turned into a devilish red.

Her father gasped out as faith continued to stab, only stopping when he heard his dying mutters.

“Vampires” he muttered out with his dying breath “she’s a vampire”

“I don’t care” faith whispers out as she gives the final blow to the heart before looking down at her work and bloodied hands.

She felt a scream rip away out of her throat at her actions as she covered her eyes with her hands which caused blood to cover her face.

———————————————————————

You ran in at the sound of faiths scream and took in the sight in front of you. Everything was covered in blood as faiths cherished cross laid in the chest of her father. Faith was sat in the floor hysterically switching between crying and laughing.

You got to her and grasped her shoulders in your hands and shook her gently and she only laughed harder.

“Faith” you called out “faith, honey what happened?”

“Your a vampire” she laughed out in your face and your blood ran cold

“No I’m not” you decided honesty would be the only way to get her to calm down “the men who look after me are, what happened faith?”

“He wanted me to marry Johnathan” she switched back to crying in your arms “I’m gonna go to jail, oh god what have I done”

“Faith I’m gonna sort this” you reassured “but you have to snap out of this”

You tried to reason with her but she was out of it so you walked her to the confessional booth and blocked the view of the body while you thought of a solution. Only four people could handle this.

“I’m gonna call my dad faith” you explained to her “they’re gonna help me cover this up, but I have to leave to go to the phone booth”

“No no” faith cried out as she held you close “don’t leave me, please”

“I’ll be right back honey” you reassured calmly “I can’t get the body out by myself, they’re gonna help me”

“They’ll eat me!” Faith cries out with fear

“I won’t let them touch you” you brought your forehead to hers in comfort “I promise”

Faith nodded her head and you headed out to the phone booth to call maxs shop, you knew him and David were having a meeting tonight. You locked the church doors to make sure no one came across faith and the murder.

———————————————————————

As the boys finished cleaning up the mess and burning the body, you sat with faith, who was now in clean clothes, and held her to comfort her. The boys looked at the scene with pity, all except David who saw this as an annoyance.

The boys approached you and Faith quivered in your arms in fear but you gave her a reassuring squeeze as you looked at them with determination

“What now?” Marko asks while looking at your traumatised friend “she got family?”

“Only a brother who lives in another state” you answered “and I wouldn’t let her go with him anyway, the guys an asshole who would beat her like their dad”

“So where’s she gonna go?” Paul asks as he stares at you in oblivion while you turn a pleading look to David

“Please David” you begged “please let her stay with us, she can stay in my room and you won’t even notice her”

“Absolutely not” David says strictly, he doesn’t want an outsider in his home who could take you away from him “she’s not welcome”

“Please David” you pleaded “she has no where else to go”

“Not my problem” David stated “she’s an outsider, your our kid and I won’t have an outsider living with you under our roof”

“She could help us” you cried out in an attempt to reason with him

“How so?” He said sarcastically “unless she’s gonna let us feed from her, she has no worth to us”

Faith went further into your arms at the mention of feeding and you tightened your grip as an idea popped into your head.

“We’ll bring you food” you reason as David pulls a confused look “we’re eighteen year old girls. We can lure parties to the cave with the promise of fun and you can eat them”

David pulls a disgusted look at your suggestion and all the boys follow with protective glances as their sharp nails protruded outwards at the thought of older perverts touching their little girl.

“I will not have my daughter prostituting herself” David yells out in disgust

“I would never sleep with them!” You defended your offer “think of it as takeout, we bring the food to you”

The boys calmed themselves down and considered your offer. After several minutes passed as they communicated through their minds, they shared a look.

“We accept this on the condition that you don’t put yourselves in danger and that the girl doesn’t disturb us” Dwayne agreed calmly while David huffed.

You nodded as the boys went back to cleaning up. Faith turned to look at you.

“Thank you” she whispers gratefully as you bring a hand to her cheek and give her temple a kiss as your fathers had done to comfort you, faith blushed as the action meant more to her.

“I have you back, you have mine right?” You chuckled out as you held her in a meaningful embrace.

The two of you made your way back to the cave and that night the two of you slipped under the covers of your bed and she held you tighter than she had ever held anyone in her life.

She didn’t regret the murder. She would do it all again as long as she could stay in your arms forever.

Hope you enjoyed

Love ya ❤️

[shade-pup-cub]

What happens when the freed Fierce Deity gets the Fierce Deity Mask placed on his face? This...

Content warning: its a fight, there's gonna be blood and injuries... enemy death too.

~~~

"Dad, behind you!!"

He didn't have time to do anything but turn around. Ghirahim had reappeared, mask in hand. Dametrius sucked in a gasp as the mask was pressed onto his face. The pain was excruciating as he screamed. He fought against the mask, trying to pry it from his face to no avail. He tried to keep his mind out of the mask and put distance between himself and his family.

Collapsing to the ground he let out another scream and his wings burst from his back. The mask was trying to seal him away again, vibrating in place as he withstood it for as long as he could. Every time it got a hold on him, his wings would return to bloody stumps. His body itself would fade into a translucent image as he would get pulled in and out of the mask.

Dametrius ripped at the edges of the mask, nails digging into his skin. He could feel the power from within, his own power. He had to detach from it or else it would be two of the same deities stuck in the cursed mask.

In a clear moment he made a split second decision. He let out a whistle. He could have wept in joy if he heard the galloping hooves of his horse, Magni. The giant of a horse nosed his shoulder. He whispered to him to take the Hylian women and baby to the Hero of Time’s era and protect them. Watching the horse trot over, kneel and Time help them onto his back, Dametrius felt his anxiety drop.

The voice inside the mask echoed in his ears and he was back to the struggle. He couldn’t hear or see anything outside of what the mask wanted him to see and hear. Dametrius brought his fire into his hands and tried to burn the mask off, resulting in nothing. He was running out of options, out of time.

Then it all stopped.

He was no longer in pain, not fighting the mask, he could hear and see again, but there was a problem. He wasn’t him, not the him he was. He rose from the ground to his feet, calm and dangerous. He wasn’t banished to the mask, it was worse. He was wearing the mask. Turning around at the sound of someone talking, he saw eleven people standing and one person laying on the ground. He knew their names, but didn’t know why.

The one on the ground stood and walked towards him. “Behold!” Ghirahim shouted as he stood a few feet in front of the Fierce Deity. “The greatest warrior to ever live! Two of the same people, controlled by one body.” He bowed to the deity. “I give myself to you as a loyal servant, Uni.”

The mask knew the role Ghirahim had originally with the mask and it would not allow such a being to hold power by him. When the Demon Lord stood, Fierce had a hand around his throat, effectively stunning him. “You do not deserve life.” The words came out slowly and threateningly. He lifted Ghirahim off the ground, wrenched the diamond from his chest and shattered it in his hand. He felt no remorse for letting the body in his grip fall to the stone ground.

“Fierce?” His head slowly turned.

“You.”

Hylia had stepped into his sight. “Brother, I need you to remove the mask.”

“No.” He growled angrily. “You left.”

“Left when?”

“You left. You left me to die! Now I will have my revenge.” His sword materialized in his hand. He took long strides towards her, but was stopped when his other three sisters raised weapons. He smiled, rolled his shoulder’s out and popped his neck. “Give me your best.”

Farore didn’t even hint towards her intentions as she lit Fierce up with lightning. It threw him into the nearest wall, a dust cloud concealing him.

Fierce, unmarked, stood with his sword in front of him. His sister raced forward to engage in the fight against him. He swiped Nayru away first, dodged Farore and blocked Din. All three swung at him and he spun his swords to divert all three at once. Din recovered first, but he used his free hand to punch her away.

No energy was wasted as he dodged one swing of a sword, ducked under a spear, took hold of one wrist, flinging Farore away. Nayru caught the smaller sister and tossed her towards Fierce. He received a kick to the shoulder. He used the momentum he had from the kick to turn and smash his hilt into the side of Din’s face, knocking her out. He tossed Nayru through the air to land in the nearest tower.

That left him and Farore at the moment. They went hit for hit, neither gaining any ground. She raised her hand to strike him with lightning, but he was faster than her. He used his metal bracer to force the lightning back to her, causing her to explode backwards.

Din had made it back into the fight, spear nearly making contact. He pivoted away and she followed with all her strength. She locked the spear in the opening of his Helix blade, kicked his hip and forced the sword out of his hands. He caught her next attack, hands on the golden shaft. With one arm he shattered the shaft of the spear. It was now a fist fight. Din always loved a good hand to hand combat. Only thing was, he was twice his normal strength due to the mask that matched his face. She landed face first on the ground.

Fierce grabbed Din by her foot and began dragging her off to the tower Nayru was still in to have it collapse on both of them, but green magic wrapped around his arms and torso. He turned around to see the Hero of the Wild using Zonai magic to hold him. He flexed to try and break free.

Din hollered at Fierce to turn around. When he did, she already had her sword sinking into the flesh below his ribcage and coming out the other side.

The magic fell from when Wild screamed for him. Fierce was still his father, mask on or not.

One swift hit to the face and Din was dazed. Fierce gripped the hilt of the blade inside him and pulled it out. He pierced the ground with the tip of the sword, held a hand over the fresh wound and straightened up on his feet.

Farore was small enough to run past and drag their blade across the back of one of his knees, dropping him to a knee. Nayru joined and kicked him center sternum. He fell backwards and slid to where his cloak was still discarded on the ground. He slid a hand inside it and pulled a large crossbow out and attached it to his metal gauntlet.

The arrows he had preloaded were doused in a plant seed oil that would kill a Hylian, but only leave a goddess unconscious for a short time. Three arrows later there were three downed goddesses.

[rainrain-dontgoaway]

I normally like to take a day or two to compose my thoughts, but after that 2 hour season finale, this is my raw unfiltered opinion.

We’re all the moments the best they could have chosen? No. Did I wish Gabriel didn’t have to die? Absolutely. Did the loss of Gabriel take a little bit away from the wedding? In my opinion, yes.

BUT, as something who has been there (losing a parent). As someone who has had to navigate that loss so close to a milestone event, and having to chose path A(postponing) or path B(getting married) I’m glad Carlos chose B.

Grief is an all consuming feeling. Doesn’t matter if it’s sudden, or happens slowly over time. Losing a loved one, losing a parent, will never be easy. Every milestone is hard. Every emotion is heightened. The future you thought you’d have, being ripped away is something that can take you years to get through. BUT the only way past grief is through it.

And grief changes as the years go by. It’s been a decade for me, and my grief is still just as present at it was the day I lost my mom. It’s just different. It changes, and it takes a back seat in your life. It’s never far from my mind, but it’s not in the passenger seat changing the radio station to every sad song ever written anymore.

I guess my point is, although Lone Star killing off Gabriel felt cheap, or felt unnecessary. There are now so many avenues Lone Star can take in season 5. And I hope they give us a grieving family. I want more of Carlos’ sisters. I want to see TK not only taking care of Carlos but also Andrea. I just want this family, to grow together, and get through their grief. Because as cheesy as it sounds, death does have the ability to bring people closer together.

PS. It was robbery to not include Enzo and Jonah. Honestly, if we deserved anything it was to see TK’s other family at that wedding.

Edit: I want to point out something because I feel like I’ve been seeing it pop up a lot. It is possible to be simultaneously grieving and having the best night of your life. Grief does not mean you can no longer experience the joy. The joy just might look a little different, but I think Carlos and TK deciding that they still wanted to get married was right for them.

Double edit: Cause I remember yet another detail that broke me. When Carlos asked Andrea how she was holding up, and she smiled and said “I’m good” Ugh, my bleeding heart. That statement is so important because although she just lost her life partner, the man who she wanted to grow old with way too early in life, in that moment, she is good and she’s enjoying this happy celebration, she’s happy to see her son get his happily ever after, and she’s happy to gain yet another son in the process.

But I also want to believe that Andrea was not blind to how dangerous her husbands job was. She’s probably had that fear their entire marriage, and at one point or another probably had to brace herself for that phone call. Witnessing it was heartbreaking. But I have to imagine that Andrea at some point in her life had to remind herself that Gabriel’s death could happen, and she would need to be prepared on how to handle it. Not saying that makes the grief easier, I just think it’s something to think about.

[thegraphitepencils]

So. We think the big inexplicable system shifts making us so dissociated are mainly because we’re getting a new, more permanent host.

I (Riley) had a call with our talk therapist and tried to work it out more. And, basically, our current “core crew” in the system are alters who formed to deal with a life we no longer live. And it’s been very difficult for us to figure who should take up majority fronting time considering that. I, personally, especially, have a very hard time being alone. And we’re spending most of our time alone right now. It’s been slowly consuming me, I think.

We’ve been cycling through co-hosts every month or two for a while now, the brain constantly creating new alters to temporarily help me cope until they get burnt out. It’s been hard. Harder still for our “original,” who has suddenly come back after being dormant half our life, and is trying to figure out who all these many many strangers living in her body are.

So, I need to stop being the emotional core of our system. At least for a while. So our emotional core can not be an anxious depressed grieving abandoned borderline who is currently lacking any true joy for life. So we can internally stabilize and stop splitting new alters every other week.

I think it was last Sunday, we started noticing a new presence. He’s forming very very slowly, not a sudden split like the rest of our new ones lately. Like this presence is taking his time observing our life in order to form best for it. To step into this life feeling like it’s actually his, instead of a random one he needs to temporarily nurture for us.

I’m definitely still gonna be around. So is Vic, and everyone else. We’re just gradually moving towards… not being the defaults in the body anymore. Not fronting all the time and being depressed about it because our external life doesn’t match our internal experiences and emotional needs.

I’m getting waves of fear off and on about it. One of my biggest phobias is losing control. It makes my bpd and ocd go wild. A year ago I couldn’t even leave front on purpose because I would utterly freak the fuck out about it—what’s gonna happen if I’m not there to control everything we do, what if everyone loves my systemmates more and forgets all about me?

I’m trying to self-soothe. Remember how much my friends uniquely love me, how much safer and happier I feel when I give up some control on my own terms, how I’m not going to lose myself just because I’m losing the host role.

It’s very difficult. Especially since New Guy is still so… vague and nebulous. I don’t know him because he doesn’t know himself yet. It’s terrifying. But I think the brain is introducing him this slowly because it wants to give me time to get used to the changes, so it’s not like having autonomy ripped away from me in one fell swoop.

As scary as it is, it’s like the brain is telling me “it’s okay, you’ve done so well but you can rest now, and everyone will still be here when you wake back up. You don’t have to fight this battle alone anymore.”

And I have to admit, that is very comforting to hear after all the shit I’ve been through.

I can just front to hang out with my friends, yap online, go to therapy, read good books… and then go back inside to be with my fiancé and my twin sister and my little brother. The four of us don’t have to be constantly managing the external world ourselves anymore.

We can just breathe.

(I guess. I’m still going to fret and worry and hyperventilate a bit because that’s just who I am. But I think New Guy is going to be a good friend and work with me and love me for all my messiness. I’m getting that vibe from him.)

[stardust-in-my-mind-blog]

this one is going to hurt

the thing about pulling diamonds out of your body

is first you have to be willing to use the knife

grasp the jeweled hilt and stab it without mercy

into the sweet smooth surface of your own soft skin

the heart is a muscle in the body that looks like

a blood angry fist wrapped in the body's darkness

caged in bone gilded by stardust and misery

the wings of your lungs on either side

breathing oxygen into the rivers of locks and chambers

four dimensions of heaven and shades of hell

do you remember how this kingdom used to have music?

life used to bloom here in gardens and laughter

but now the ruins echo with the wails of every ghost

you created of my nesting and nurturing efforts

the swan has succumbed finally to her desperate mourning

her feathers alight in holy fire and she becomes a wrathful sun

there is nothing that will truly satisfy me but creating

your equal in the suffering your immaturity caused me

you told me to be grateful for the gifts as you dismissed

slowly with unconscious manipulation my vitality

every day I created a routine to lead me to some kind

of personal or professional victory outside the domestic

but you thwarted every fucking thing I tried to do

with your reliable inconsistency and disruptive authority

but a true leader doesn't destroy his kingdom

by raping the earth mercilessly of her resources

blaming her for her dwindling ability to nurture

telling her the way she thinks is the reason she is wilting

the outside of my world may have become more bleak

but within my notebooks I still lived in full color

my children still feel loved and safe and trust me

and I conquered every false dogma you tried to make me

accept and internalize as a truth even rotten to you

and those are rooted in your own fucking filth

and your internal barren landscape you refuse to acknowledge

your insecurity and self-loathing that you refuse to see

you may have destroyed part of me but I know how to die well

I protected everything important to me because I knew

once I built my strength and escaped your constant sabotage

I would revive and release everything that doesn't belong to me

I don't give a shit about money or status or hierarchies

I go to the forest and talk wisdom with the trees

the gardens are dead and neglected and full of rabbit skeletons

I hate everything that once brought me so much joy

you even devalued my mothering as a way of taking advantage of you

while you built a successful business on my willingness

to stay home with every sick kid and make every meal

you never learned how to cook in six years which is basic survival

the house is full of trash because that's too much responsibility

to take your own fucking trash to the place of refuse

but never seemed to have a problem discarding me

you never learned how to manage the money

or discipline yourself to not spend it when you craved novelty

which is just an excuse to run away from yourself

distract yourself from every well crafted delusion

your family has performed for thousands of years

I was sent as a reckoning when all I wanted

all I ever fucking wanted was to be loved

you used my energy to inspire a mask you ripped off

after I had your son to keep me trapped

overwhelmed and neglected in a world that felt so

much like the home from childhood I burned to the ground

you made me re-experience every fucking nightmare

I've always had the unlucky experience of being part of

your indifference to my emotions and the way you blamed me

for my reactions when your disrespect was so illogical

and so horrifically emotionally immature that I didn't

understand that I was raising twin sons just one in an adult body

do you know what it's like to gentle mother your partner?

you lose all passion and desire for life

you go through the motions and beg for someone to change

back to the illusion they created to convince your heart

they wanted to take you home and keep you

build something with you with promises and dreams

that ended up being empty and confusing

I was so confused for so long and willing as ever

to take full responsibility and change where I could

while you sat on your therapist's throne and fixed

everyone else's problems and blamed me for how

I brought up how you were hurting me

I'd sob and cry and you'd look at me with loathing

I'd tell you the harm your justified control caused me

and you'd tell me I just wanted to blame everyone else

for my problems and issues I didn't want to fix

you told me I was selfish for wanting support

you'd tell me what I said meant nothing

and after hearing it so much I internalized it

and then be angry at myself for being so folled

so I'd watch beautiful stories and draw in my journals

I'd tell you that I documented your patterns and you'd scoff

the difference between gaslighters and liars is how

a liar will own up when he's caught but a abuser

will make you question your intentions for making a choice

I hold you in contempt for everything you did to me

I see you and I know you and if I didn't have self control

I'd tell the entire fucking world what you've done

but that won't help my son

everyone son deserves a chance to be proud of his father

and you are a good father to him and he thrives

but what you do with your relationship with him will

no longer by my problem to maintain when I'm gone

but it's also true a good father doesn't hurt the mother

so it's my responsibility to find anything to grasp to

and find a way to pull myself back together and leave

and I am back together and I am leaving

I've been slowly formulating a plan in my isolation

building things with tiny bleeding steps

my fucking god I was devestated

I have been civil and respectful where I can be

limiting and containing the rage at this injustice

I will get the fuck out of here

I have been getting the fuck out of here

and nothing you do is going to stop me

I will finally have space to think

I will finally have just my responsibilities

I will finally have something that you can't destroy

and I will use all this wounding inside of me to craft

something someone can cling to when they are

fighting their own storms of life

how fucking dare you do this to me

I learned everything I could and gave it to wisdom

and I try not to revel in other people's suffering but

I'll enjoy seeing your future and how it plays out

from the distance I am creating with every cut of this dagger

fuck you and the bitch you were born to

I deserved better and I'll give it to myself

and be grateful for our son

but never to you