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wildmoonflower · 5 years

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Love in the World of Death

Avengers Apocalypse AU

Pairing: Steve x Reader

Summary:

Zombie Apocalypse AU, where Y/N saves an Avenger from jaws of death and joins their group, finding more than just her brother

Warnings: Gore, injuries, mentions of death and rape, some swearing, minor fluff and some smut (slightly dom!Steve x reader) at the end

A/N: This is my piece for #wxntersoldiers writing challenge with Apocalypse AU. Thank You for letting me join and congrats again on the milestone, Sweetpie

PS: I'm sorry, but I'm a slow-burn writer, I can't help myself and write under 10k words…

With a wet squelch, an arrow pierced through the skull of the undead man in front of you, watching as his body crumbled on the ground, slight twitches raking it’s body. Death of one of their own diverted the attention of three others from young redhead, whose foot was stuck in a net of roots, sticking out of the forest ground, leaving her vulnerable, armed with a small army knife.

Hooking the bow on her back, Y/N drew out her machete, sound attracting another undead from other woman, leaving just one creeper staggering to her. 'Why do I do this to myself?' Y/N growled under her breath, taking a quick step towards the closest creeper, beheading him with a swift slash, kicking to the left, hitting hideous dead woman in the knee, sick pop making her topple to the ground. Her head landed on a big rock, now soft-half rotten flesh caving in, almost exploding, her body not moving anymore. The sight made Y/N shudder, even after a week, when dead bodies flooded the streets, she couldn't help the horror creep in her body at bloody sight. Y/N's breath hitched in her throat as last two undead divided, almost as if planned, closing in on her from both sides.

Movements of those two were faster, bodies looking too normal, probably recently turned. Dead man on Y/N's right charged at her, teeth clattering as he reached for her arm. Cutting down, machete severed the arm from the body, injury ignored as undead man continued his attack, body-slamming into hers. Dead weight was crushing Y/N's body, she was struggling to keep deadly jaws away from her shoulder where they tried to reach to chunk the flesh out and infect yet another victim. In the peripheals, second undead came closer, in Y/N's desperate eyes, almost victorious look on it’s pale face as it suddenly stopped, body twitching as a knife was stuck in it’s neck. Jabbing her heels into the ground, Y/N arched, body on top of her falling over her head, giving her enough time to turn around and stab in it’s head. Shuffle behind her made her body turn around, rolling to side as undead woman’s body fell crouched down, using the opportunity to grab the knife and twist upwards, this time grazing the spine and hitting the brain, body going limp next to her.

Y/N didn’t allow herself the breather her body demanded, pushing herself up to look at the woman, still half-laying on the ground, dead body next to her forgotten as she watched you with big eyes, worry etched in face, pretty even beneath the layer of dirt on it.

"You okay?" Both women asked simultaneously. Chuckling, Y/N took a step closer and stopped as red head eyed the machete in her hands. "I won’t hurt you. Can I take a look at your foot?" Y/N sheated her weapon back in her hip holster and yanked the knife out the body, holding it with handle towards her, kneeling in front of her.

"I got stuck when these things appeared. And it won’t budge." She said, slightly pulling her foot up, only to hiss from the pain, rough wood scratching her skin. "Don’t do that, you will hurt yourself. I will get it out. "Y/N said and pulled out machete, to which red head pulled her own knife, hand trembling. "I’m gonna cut the roots off, not your leg, don’t worry." Y/N held her hands up and looked into tired eyes. "If I wanted you dead or hurt, I would let them do that for me, don’t you think?" The argument seemed to put other woman more at ease as she lowered her weapon and looked away as her savior slashed at the wood, careful to hit the main root holding the net together. After a few minutes of hacking, the wood gave up and released it’s hold. Pulling the net apart, woman slowly pulled her foot out and rolled away, picking up small bag Y/N failed to notice in hazy fight.

“Thank you," she breathed nervously, freed now she kept the distance again. "I’m Wanda." She smiled and after a second, she reached with her hand. Grabbing it, Y/N nodded her head, "Y/N. Nice to meet a living soul. I don’t mean to pry but why are you out here alone?" Y/N asked, taking a step back to collect her own bag, which she threw away as she charged to save the trapped woman. "I was separated from my group, we were on a supply run." She answered hesitantly. "I tried to go back to our camp but I panicked with those things behind me and now I’m lost." She said, Voice hesitant but honest. "Why are you alone? Did something happen to your group?" She inquired, taking in Y/N’s dirty and tired look.

"I didn’t have one. I travel alone." Y/N answered, and kneeled down again, pulling out bandage and a small red-tinted bottle from her bag, motioning for Wanda to tuck up the jeans she had on. "Is there anything special around your camp? Weird looking tree, rock, anything? I can take you there." Y/N offered, patting her foot with disinfectant, supporting her not to fall as she started to hop around from pain. "I worked in forestry, I know my way around these woods."

"Explaines the bow." She hissed behind gritted teeth. "It was slightly uphill, a small clearing, there was a half-moon shaped rock to the west. And a tree-house, there is a small tree-house, with blankets inside."

Nodding her head, Y/N knew the place she described. "I know where that is. You strayed quite far from the place. It is a day away if we go now."

They were lucky, Wanda’s injury was not too bad to hinder from walking. It was nice to have a normal company, even as a lone wolf, spending a whole week alone after shit hit the fan, Y/N found the presence of Wanda nice, calming even. Pretty red head was not chatter-box either, silence between two woman was peaceful as they trecked through the green vegetation.

"If I can, why do you use bow? Isn’t crossbow stronger?" Wanda broke the silence as they took a break, taking a small gulps of precious liquid. Y/N chuckled, shaking her head, "It is. But it also have slow-ass reload. This is enough to pierce in the head. And it’s not mine bow, it belongs to my brother. Archery is his weird hobby, well, my too." Y/N’s voice faded, lump in the throat clogging it. She wasn’t aware of her brother’s fate, as she wasn’t in the city when the outbreak started.

"I’m sorry, I didn’t meant to-" Wanda started to apologize, Y/N waving her hand stopped her, she couldn’t trust her voice not to break. "We should find a tree on which we can sleep. It’s not safe to walk in the dark forest, we can continue after dawn."

It didn’t took long to find the right tree, with it’s branches high enough not to be reachable from the ground and thick enough to hold the weight. Using the rope, Y/N tied their bodies to the trunk, not the most comfortable sleeping position but better than falling down in the middle of sleeping.

The forest was restless as night came, rustling of leaves beneath the animal feets much louder in eerie silence of night. Wanda was not asleep, Y/N could feel her body occasionally twitch at the louder sounds, she could hear her soft mumbles which sounded like a prayers, fear and nervousness was apparent. Hesitantly, Y/N reached next to her, gripping her small hand, steel grip she received back was reassuring to both and soon, their bodies relaxed, using one anothers warmth.

Morning came too fast and too slow at the same time, as gold-pink color shined on Y/N’s face, waking her up with a groan. Her body was stiff, neck painfully crooked as she was leaning on Wanda, who stirred awake too, groaning too as she stretched her hands in front her.

"Don’t move too much, or you will be upside down soon." Y/N chipped in too late as with a loud sqeal, Wanda slid to the side, rope stopping her fall as she dangled around, looking as very clumsy bat in her oversized black sweater. The sight made Y/N burst out laughing, painful cramp shooting in her side as she propped herself, catching Wanda’s flailing arm and pulled her up, face red with all the blood, panting from her squeaking. As soon as she saw Y/n’s face she snorted, another round of laugh vibrating around them. It was an alien feeling, laughing after such a long time. "Ready to go down?" Y/N untied the rope and threw down their bags, listening if their little outburst attracted some unwanted attention. The forest around them was calm, morning lights covering everything in red, pink and orange with golden undertone. It was beautiful sight, unfit to the world that was there.

The scenery was getting more and more familiar, even Wanda was looking around more and more often. It was good to know they were near as water was quickly disappearing, early fall was still somewhat warm, even with sweaters and jackets tied around their hips. "You know, you can stay with us. We are normal group, I swear." Wanda panted, she grabbed Y/N’s hand as she stopped to breathe, eyes honest. She could see Y/N’s hesitation, she gave off the feeling of a lone wolf, more open to idea of solitude surrounded by fauna and flora than to hang around with a group. But she had to ask, some pull in Wanda telling her to ask, make her think about it. The woman in front of her was silent, calm and more than capable of taking care of herself but the aura of sadness was breaking her heart. "Just give us a chance, we won’t force you if you will want to leave." Wanda smiled as Y/N slowly nodded, glad that she was willing to try. Silent woman grew to her, not only because she saved her, but her whole demeanor was somewhat familiar, she couldn’t put her finger on it, her mind was restless and stressed ever since the horrors filled the streets of every big city.

Another half an hour of walking, Y/N broke the silence, her voice even more quiet. "I joined a small group, on the second day of outbreak. It was pure chaos and it didn’t felt right, the people around felt…wrong. But I was desperate, afraid" She looked at the red head next to her, her features hardening. "My hunch was right, the biggest pieces of human shit gathered. In a time without any law and order, they thrived. I tried to warn others who seemed normal, didn’t listen. I woke up to gunshots, they were shooting men and children, forced themselves on women. I was sleeping on the tree, saved my life when infected came. After that, I strained from any possible human interaction." Y/N’s eyes were ice cold, knuckles white from the grip, drops of blood falling on the ground from the punctures from her nails on her palms.

"Then why save me?" Wanda asked, earning incredulous look. "I’m no monster to ignore a single woman armed with knife only about to get eaten by some creepers. And you also helped me, even though your knife-throwing skill could use some improvement." Y/N added and jumped aside to dodge Wanda’s clumsy kick on her bums. "We should arrive in less than ten minutes." Y/N lowered her voice, recognized the area they were in. Forest around was quiet, bad feeling settled in Y/N’s stomach. Turning around, she noticed Wanda stopped, holding her leg while crouching. "Wanda?" She asked, kneeling beside her, blood freezing as Wanda looked up, suddenly, she could feel the presence of other person, just a few steps away from them. Her hand itched towards the gun, hidden on her hip beneath the shirt she wore as a deep voice growled from behind.

"Don’t move. Hands up and step away from her." Y/N froze, shooting furious betrayed look at shocked Wanda, who limped next to her, shielding her with her own small body. "Steve, stop it! She is fine!" Another male voice sounded, little bit more to the left of Y/N, she could see dark outline of a big man, pointing a gun at her head. "You don’t know that, Wanda. Step away from her." "Yes, I do, Bucky! She saved my life yesterday!" Wanda spit, her voice strong and unwavering, followed by silence that left Y/N uncomfortable, who still didn’t turn around. She didn’t survive this long alone just to be shot in the head like that. "Wanda, just go to them." Y/N said, using her elbow to prod small woman towards the bodiless voice behind her back.

"What weapons do you have on yourself?" Man to the left asked, taking a step closer. Circling the shoulder, Y/N moved the bow on her back. "Bow, machete on the hip and gun in the hip holster." She answered through gritted teeth, she felt that they were not going to kill her but to give away all her weapons was still against her taste. "Hand them over." "Hell no."

"Y/N, please, I swear, we won’t hurt you, they will give them back." Wanda came in front of her again, eyes pleading. Her body was slightly shaking, giving up her weapons meant letting herself be completely unguarded, even with her fighting skills, two large men was too much to handle. "Don’t shoot." She muttered, her hand slowly made a big circle to her hip, showing exactly what she was doing. Man behind stepped in front of her, quickly grabbing sheated machete and gun in the holster. He eyed the bow on her back as she handed him the quiver, earning a huge scowl. "Not giving you that." Y/N’s voice was resolute, she stood strong against the man who towered above her, she was right about their height and muscles, she looked almost tiny, even with her taller form. "Are you done?" Wanda hissed at the man, Steve, and grabbed Y/N by her forearm, "and I just told her you guys were normal." Her anger was tid-bit funny, it made Y/N’s lips twitch despite the not-so-pleasant situation. "You said you will give us a chance. Do you want to leave?" Wanda asked worriedly, to which Y/N laughed, with a very sardonic laugh. "Doesn’t seem I’m welcomed, Wanda." Looking to her left, men were deep in conversation, glancing at her now and then. It gave her chance to look at them, now that they were not standing behind her. Both were tall, strong-build, one sporting a light stubble and hair down to the shoulder, other one with a few weeks old beard and bit longer hair that fell in his eyes. Both were covered in dirt and showed same weariness as Wanda.

Noticing she watched them as a hawk, the one with darker blond hair, Steve, stepped closer: "Sorry for the rough handling but we can never be too sure." He said, now that he was barking orders, his voice was nice, but it didn’t make Y/N drop her guard. "Look," he sighed, brushing his hair out of his face, "we can go to our camp but I wanna check you up for weapons myself. There is not lot of us, I won’t allow another loss." His eyes were telling the truth, he believed what he told. Y/N was hesitant, did she really want to risk seeing people possibly die again? But the soft hand on her shoulder, Wanda’s warm hand, reminded her of the nights she wished to feel presence of others, not just rustles of animals around her.

Y/N closed her eyes, sighing. "Fine." She rised her hands slightly, right next to her head and parted her legs, nodding at tall man to do his thing. His touched surprised Y/N, it was firm and yet, somewhat gentle as he patted her clothed arms and waist. When the pat on her thighs wasn’t coming, Y/N opened her eyes, surprised to see a pink hue on his face as he hesitated, a snort coming from other man. "Just get to it, Stevie, she doesn’t bite." He teased his friend and Wanda giggled, faking it as a cough when Y/N looked at her with creased brows. Fast few taps landed on her hips, thighs and calves and Steve quickly stepped back, nodding his head at other man, Bucky. "Let’s go to the camp." He huffed, "Sorry, doll, I will give this back later." He swung her weapons under his arm. "I’m James, but call me Bucky." His demeanor was puzzling, as his speech went from guarded to relaxed and back again, his eyes still guarded. He pulled the bag off Wanda’s back and gently shoved her gently to the right direction, asking her about her leg. Y/N stood there, unsure of what to do, jumping a little as a hand brushed her shoulder, it was Steve taking her bag from her. "I’m Steve, nice to meet you. Sorry again for this." Y/N brushed him off, following the forms of Wanda and Bucky. "You said it yourself, one can’t be too sure anymore. But I expect to get my bow back tomorrow." Y/N answered and turned around again, looking at the blond man, "I’m Y/N."

Y/N was right, the camp was not even ten minutes away. There were other people, creating a circle around Wanda, even though Y/N didn’t know them, she get the feeling they were close, more than just bunch of friends. They were a family, a man with goatee cupped her face while a pale man, who looked really nervous kneeled beside her, checking her scratched foot. "And who is this?" A dark-skinned man came to Y/N and Steve, curiously checking her out, same wariness in his eyes.

"Sam. Another survivor, Y/N, she saved Wanda." Steve introduced the silent woman beside him as others came closer. Looking at them, Y/N silently thanked Bucky that he took her weapons, she knew her resting bitch-face was not exactly putting people at ease. "What about others? Tony?" Steve asked and goatee-man shook his head, shadow passed his face.

"Legolas and Red are still not back, they do not answer their walkie-talkie. Last contact was yesterday before the sunset, they were still looking for Wanda." "Where exactly did you went for the supply run?" Y/N asked suddenly, looking at Wanda but before she could open her mouth, Tony interrupted, crossing his arms on his chest. "Why? It won’t help if another person gets lost in the forest and bow will not save you, Merida."

"First of all, a headshot is still headshot, even with bow. And second, I worked as a ranger, I know my way around these-" Y/N snapped back and stiffed as a voice from behind the group shouted, her mouth opened in shock. "We found a couple of footprints and bunch of dead bodies. Two sets of footprints left the place, one must have been Wanda’s." A very familiar man appeared between the trees, red head woman right beside him. "What are doing?" He asked as his eyes fell on the newest addition to the group, stopping in his tracks, same shocked expression on his face. "Y/N/N?" He whispered, taking a step back. A strange nasal noise, something between laugh and sob, escaped Y/N’s mouth, who took running towards her most important person in the world. "Clint." Y/N whispered as Clint hugged her, kissing the top of her head. She used to hate that but now, she just clung to him, to her brother she thought dead. A warm, small hand landed on her shoulder, peeping to her right, Natasha stood there, smiling, her eyes suspiciously shiny. Y/N tried to move towards her, finding it impossible to move.

"Clint," Y/N tapped his side, man not moving, even tightening his embrace. "Clint, I can’t breathe." Y/N gasped as he let go of her. She was immediately hugged by smaller woman, who squeezed her even more. "Nat." Y/N hugged back, so glad for her privilege of doing so, she knew Nat was not touchy-feely person, let alone a hugger.

"When the hugging party is over, can someone explain? Is Legolas and Katniss together ‘together’ or what?" Tony broke shocked silence, ignoring the jab in his rib by a blond woman next to him. Clearing his throat, Clint waved his hand to Y/N and Nat: "Guys, this is Y/N, my younger sister. Yes, that introvert sister who likes animals more than people-OW!" He exclaimed as Y/N kicked him in the back of his knee, making him tumble down.

"I’m not giving you back your bow, asshole." Y/N crossed her arms across her chest, people around them chuckling at stupid interaction. "Well, now we have another weirdo in this group. You will fit in this group of misfits. I’m Tony, Stark." Tony stepped up and finally introduced himself and others. Strawberry blond woman was his wife, Pepper Potts, who smiled at you kindly. Other unknown was Bruce Banner, nervous looking man who was currently disinfecting Wanda’s ankle, and Sam Wilson, the pleasant of the trio, Bucky Barnes being the careful and broody one and Steve Rogers, the polite one, if you are not seen as a threat.

Night came sooner than Y/N expected. Getting Wanda to her group, fighting with Bucky and Steve for her weapons and finding out her brother was alive took a lot of energy from her and she found herself doing something she never did before: nodding off among relatively unknown people. Sure, now that Clint was there, she remembered his stories with his cop buddies, his patrols with Nat and Sam, the constant war between Bucky and Sam and Steve, being the proper police captain, trying to make them stop and immediately being sassed by Tony, who worked as forensic scientist, often accompanied by Bruce, medical examiner. From their late-night calls, she knew them but meeting them in person, her social insecurities tended to make her seem cold, uninterested while her insides were in turmoil. And yet, sitting in the circle around the fire, she felt calm. For the rest of the day, Clint followed her like a puppy, her assuring falling on deaf ears (I’m sorry). Clint was always protective of Y/N, even after teaching her fight and shoot.

"Where have you been when this all started, Y/N?" Nat asked, question silencing the conversations around. Sudden silence made her nervous and shifted her weight on the log she sat on. "At the farm, I was getting ready for work. I had no idea what was happening, when a family of three banged on the door, their kid was bitten. I should have known something was wrong, Kiki was going crazy outside." Y/N answered, her stomach churning at the memory of a married couple and their small daughter, who laid in father’s arms, unconscious, blood soaking through pink dress with cloudy pattern, ripped on her side with hideous bite mark. "Who is Kiki?" Tony asked as he sat on the ground, disassembled gun in front of him.

"Y/N’s favorite sheep." Clint answered, watching the crackling fire. His voice was dull, distant. He already knew the horrors his sister have witnessed, while others seen her face unchanging, he could see the pale color on her face, her hands now clenched in fists non-stop. Y/N was strong, he knew that but more she tried to put distance between her and reality, more affected she became, guilt and pain consuming her from within, never sharing her worries and thoughts, hiding them behind sarcasm and coldness.

"They were in shock, couldn’t tell me what happened. I went for a first aid kit when kid changed. Her father had his head right next to her, I just heard the screams when I came around. Father changed quickly and the woman just sat there, looking at them and screamed. I couldn’t move her." Y/N balled her hands, wanting nothing more than to push them in her eyes, to try pushing the images out of her head with brute force. "I only grabbed the bow by the back door and my backpack and got out. I didn’t even notice when other infected got close to the house, suddenly, they were there. And so I ran." She finished, silence was deafening as they processed what they heard.

Looking across the fire, Steve was watching Y/N. He could read between the line and her expressions, her seemingly expressionless face was same as Bucky’s when he didn’t want to talk about his time in Iraq, beneath the surface boiled pain, insecurity and self-loathing. The woman in front of him was tough, her stubbornness and spunk rivaled those war veterans he met and yet, there was something vulnerable about her. The way she let others talk, how she kept her eyes trailed down on the ground and small gestures towards Clint and Nat to assure them, both acting like her older siblings. She’s been hurt, she has seen things that made her wary of others.

"How does night watch work here? Two people are on lookout whole night or do you rotate after few hours?" Y/N asked as she reached into her bag, pulling out a bag of beef jerky, passing it around, punching Clint in the ribs when he hogged almost half to himself. "One person is enough, they wake next lookout after few hours. Every night different lookout." Clint said with his mouth full which earned him a scolding look from Steve and a laugh from Bucky when he choked on a water which sprayed out of his nose. Y/N and Nat shook their heads, occasional piggy-manners no longer made them react, only Y/N smacked his back a few times, eliciting a moan of pain from Clint.

"In that case, I can take first half of the night." Several people opened their mouth to oppose when Nat scowled, forcing a silence to fall. "Let her, she wouldn’t fall asleep for a few hours either way."

"But I want my quiver back." She looked at Bucky who rolled his eyes and reached behind him, throwing her weapons carefully. "I think this is the cue to hit the night, all of you." Pepper stood up and silenced Tony who seemed not ready to do so.

Sleeping arrangements were not most comfortable. Beds for men consisted of layered up clothes in a circle around the fire, Wanda and Pepper getting only two rolled-up sleeping mats and climbed the small tree-house. All supplies they had now consisted of what they found on their escape from the city or what they had on them.

Y/N sat by the fire, poking burning logs with a stick. It took a while for everyone to lay down, they were noisy, conversations were dying down and flaring up again, just to be shushed by the people next to them, occasional groans and giggles escaping. Y/N was surprised, despite the situation they were in, ‘Avengers’, how Clint jokingly called them, referring the time when they relentlessly chased and destroyed biggest drug cartel called Hydra, behaved like a kids on a school trip, not like most feared and efficient police team in state. Tranquility finally fell when Y/N stood up and looked around. The clearing where group was camping was in a good spot, an uneven circle was blocked from south by big rocks, making it impossible to go on them without making ruckus or breaking a leg between the gaps in the rocks. Eastern and western side was a clean space, trees growing sparsely, Y/N would see and hear anyone or anything, would they try to sneak up on them, dry leaves littering the soil preventing of doing so. That left her with north, trees growing bit thicker, giving her a good spot to perch herself, easily looking over the sleeping group, tree-house and the darkness that lurked outside the warm light of the campfire. Stepping softly between sleeping bodies, Y/N bent down to pick up her bottle when a hand gripped her wrist. A strange strangled sight slipped past her lips as her knees buckled, her face now close to Steve’s, his shocked eyes almost shining in the shadows.

"What the Hell are you doing?" Y/N hissed, her heart beating somewhere in her throat, face slightly pink, which she hoped will passed unnoticed sue lack of light. She thought he was asleep already, as his eyes were closed, breath steady and face still. She couldn’t help but notice tall man that have sat opposite of her. When he was not scowling at her with gun in his hand, his face was handsome. But the attraction went beyond that as she saw him interact with others, the way he joked with Bucky and Sam for one minute and the other he was serious captain, the leader that had no intention of losing anymore of his people. He was pulling her eyes to him, his serious face while planning what to do next, his kind face when he talked to Pepper or Wanda when the fear or nervousness got the best of them, even his embarrassed face when Nat whispered something to him, his face turning pink.

"Sorry." Steve whispered, his thumb unconsciously stroking the soft skin inside of Y/N’s wrist soothingly, she could feel the warmth spread on her cheeks and ears, hoping the darkness around them is enough to hide it. "Just wanted to say to wake me up when it’s time to switch. It’s my turn today." Somehow, Y/N doubted it was his turn, eyeing the dark circles under his eyes that seemed almost inked on the skin. Y/N nodded her head, ignoring the wrinkles forming on his forehead on dodgy answer and stood up. She felt his curious eyes on her back as she went up to the tree and began climbing quickly as a squirrel, soon sitting on a thick branch, one leg bend in the knee, back pressed against the rough bark, scratchy feeling putting her on ease.

Night was dragging on but Y/N didn’t mind. It gave her time, time to think of what happened, what could possibly happen next, forcing her thoughts not to go apeshit negative. Forest was calm, fortunately, no living beings appeared, just occasional ruffles of leaves from small animals disturbed the peace of silence. To keep anything bigger away, Y/N had to keep the fire burning. She was surprised she hadn’t waken up anybody as she shuffled around them, pushing wooden locks around the pit to make criss-cross pattern to keep fire burning as long as she could.

Drowsiness finally took over when the sky began to show first signs of dawn. Running her hand down tired face, Y/N climbed down, her muscles quickly turning stiff. Yelping in surprise when a heavy hand landed on her shoulder, she whipped her body around, swinging her fist in drilled instinct. Her eyes widened at the sight of Steve, who had a strict look on his face, but she couldn’t stop the punch as it connected. Thankfully, not with his face but a palm of his hand, as he caught her hand and pressed her in the tree with his weight, stopping her knee from shooting towards the place where sun doesn’t shine.

"Can you stop sneaking up on me?" Pinned woman snapped, ignoring the knot forming in her stomach. He was closer to her than any man for a long time and her reaction towards him scared her. His stupidly handsome face was close to hers, he was towering above her even when he was bending down a little, the look in his eyes almost… feral. He smelt… like a man, obviously but the smell of dirt, sweat and a hint of leather made Y/N’s hair stand on the back of her neck and her mouth dry.-

"I said to wake me when it’s time. That was three hours ago." Steve said, his voice low, his hand still gripping hers as he raised them above her head, breath hitching in her throat.

‘Pull yourself together.’ Y/N reprimanded herself as she blinked fast, trying very hard not to look down. "I was not that tired yet and it’s calm either way. And I was on my way to wake you up now." Y/N retorted and tried to push him away discreetly but it was like trying to push again the wall.

"There is a reason we set some rules, if we all start to ignore them, chaos will take over and that usually means people get hurt." Steve answered, either ignoring or not noticing Y/N’s growing tension. "Okay, I’m sorry." Y/N lowered her gaze, the authority and reason in Steve’s voice too strong to ignore. Heat flooded Y/N’s cheeks as his hand raised her head up to him. "I didn’t hear you, Y/N." His eyes were of that dark blue color and the way he said her name made Y/N panic.

"I said I’m sorry. Can I go sleep now?" She squeezed out of herself, looking in those damn eyes that were so darn hypnotizing. Her high-pitched squeak snapped Steve of his trance and he felt his face turn pink. His hand let go of hers and stepped back from her, giving her chance to slip past him from little cage he put her in. It has been a while since he let himself slip, Barton’s younger sister did things to him he hadn’t felt for a long time, her strong manners hiding her vulnerable, kind soul made him want to strip that façade down. ‘Calm down, Rogers, it’s Clint’s younger sister. Stop it or you will get an arrow in the eye.’ He coughed and looked at the smaller woman, who seemed to wait for just one word to bail. She noticed, she felt that side of him just now, her eyes appearing bigger as they looked everywhere but not in his eyes. "Of course, sorry for making you wait. Sleep tight, Barton." ‘So suddenly it’s Barton. Very smooth, Rogers.’ Steve said, forcing his sight from her flushed face, looking around the camp, his heart skipping a beat when he noticed a smirk on Natasha’s seemingly sleeping face.

Muttering quick good night, Y/N almost sprinted towards her sleeping bag she hogged to herself. Her legs felt like a jelly, even trembled like one. The place where Steve’s hand gripped her wrist was on fire and still was nothing compared to the feeling in her stomach and southern regions. Y/N seldomly reacted so strongly to close proximity of men but the warmth, the smell and the dominance that lurked behind that calm face made her breathless, her heart beating so hard even snoring Clint must’ve heard it.

In her hurry to lay down the sleeping bag between Nat and Clint, Y/N failed to notice a smirk on Nat’s face, her green eyes slightly open, mischievous spark hidden in the light of sunrise, closely watching her friend laying down while other stood guard by the same tree, blue eyes watching her every move.

A series of giggles pulled Y/N slowly out of her sleep, her ears registered a single shushing sound, followed by more, louder giggles. She was hot, no, she was almost swimming in sweat and her body was heavy, she couldn’t move her arms and legs. She started to wiggle, her attempt to shake free met with only more laughter. A light erupted from behind her closed eyes, making her wince and open her eyes, just a small gap. There were two sets of boots just in front of her, one boot moved back and somebody kneeled next to her. It was Steve, his face was bright from the sunlight that shone on his face, amused look on his face as his hand softly pushed the hair out of Y/N’s eyes.

"You okay there, Barton? Do you need help?" He asked, smiling at sleepy, dumb-founded face. "What?" She asked, her voice raspy and dull, trying to wake up. "Why can’t I-?" She wiggled again and looked around, her eyes widening at the comical sight she and Clint offered. Sometime after she fell asleep, Clint rolled from his pile of clothes and on top of her, his body sprawled, pushing her body down into her sleeping mat. His leg was thrown over hers, trapping Y/N in her sleeping bag, cutting off any cool morning air that could reach her, slowly raising temperature causing her to sweat profusely. "Clint." Y/N groaned, wiggling one hand free and patted backwards, hitting his side, his groan made people around them burst into an open laugh, Y/N’s face burned at the image they must have made. "Clinton, get off me, you prick," she doubled her effort but dead weight of her brother was too much.

She turned to Steve, her face once again burning. ‘Number of times I have blushed in front of this man…’ She sighed in defeat and looked up, not noticing how his breath hitched: "Can you get him off, please? I’m hot." ‘Yes, you are.’ Steve’s brain was boiling. His eyes was glued on the woman in front of him, helplessly lying on the ground with pleading eyes, making his thoughts crazy with indecent thoughts while his Neanderthal side of brain wanted to throw Clint away. ‘It’s her brother, Rogers, stop being an idiot.’ He growled at himself and forced his hands to roll Clint away, calmly. God, what that woman was doing to him. He hasn’t felt that way about a woman since Peggy and that being long time ago, his patience was thin, almost non-existant, just the manners his Ma tought him and respect towards Clint’s friendship hold him back from what Tony called aggressive courting. So his smile was visibly forced as he grabbed Y/N by her hands and stood her up, the muscles tensing as he caught her smell, subtle sweet scent of mint and soil and sweat.

"Whaaa…" Clint whined on the ground, covering his eyes in the crook of his inner elbow. Crouching down next to him, Nat ripped the mat from underneath him, nudging him in the side with her foot. "Get up, Clint, we will not pack your things while you snore and bother Y/N." She nudged again, smirking at the whining sound Clint eluded. "Y/N slept too and you are not kicking her." He complained as he threw his stuff around like a pouting kid, earning a slap on the head from passing-by Bucky.

"She had a night-watch, birdbrain. What’s your excuse again?" Tony sassed him, pushing his little tinkering set in his bag. "My heart and soul was with her all night long." "Heart and soul my ass." Clint rubbed his head, "I want my coffee." Muttering under his breath, he noticed Y/N still standing, with absent-minded face. "Earth to Y/N, sit your ass down and start packing." "What? Oh, yea, sure." Y/N flinched and started packing, wiping the lack of sleep from her eyes. "Clint, how did you get out of the city?" She asked. Army and law enforcement were usually called in first to the very epicenter and with the number of bodies, littering the neighborhood streets, it must have been a Hell on Earth.

Stopping for a minute, Clint‘s eyes glazed over, getting lost in the past. "We got out because of Rogers and Stark. Even whole police department and army couldn’t stop the infected, they changed too fast. We were almost instantly overwhelmed but as soon as most of the civilians got out, Steve ordered to fall back. Thanks to Stark and his cameras, he got us out of the city without meeting some huge resistance." He rolled Y/N’s mat bit more aggressive, punching it to make it slip in it’s cover. "We still lost a lots of our people. Hill, Fury, whole Alpha and Omega team, we saw them get down and up again." His voice was strained, hands balled into fists, knuckled turning white from the tight grip. Without missing a heartbeat, Y/N pulls Clint to her side, ignoring the stare she felt from Nat or whoever was behind and pressed her cheek on top of his head. She knew Fury too but he was not as much of a father figure to her as he was to Clint. "Nat and I tried to get to him and Hill but…"

"Clint. It’s okay. Do you know what Fury would say on that, risking your life carelessly?” "It would be a stupid-ass decision." Clint’s voice intertwined with other, Nat kneeling next to Y/N, the light in her eyes dull, eyes rimmed red. She positioned her body the way that nobody but Y/N and Clint saw her hand squeezing Y/N’s for a second, sending a quick thought for her friends. They both took a second to collect themselves, Clint cracking his knuckles as Nat checked her gun.

After a short peptalk from Steve and some less serious quirks from Tony about their next moves, group was on the move again. If the situation wouldn’t be so grave, it would be almost funny to Y/N: Avengers were certainly not good at sticking together. Soon, Tony and Bruce fell behind the group, both arguing about the virus or whatever caused the outbreak, throwing around words like: patient zero and incubation period. Wanda stuck to Bucky and Sam, who were leading the group, bickering above the map they both held, occasional shoulder push followed with a hiss or a certain finger raised. Clint and Nat disappeared somewhere but nobody worried that much, both could track and Nat would make sure Clint wouldn’t do anything too stupid.

That left Y/N and Steve, walking in silence. Y/N felt the eyes burying in her back as she walked a few steps ahead of tall Captain, trying her hardest not to quicken her steps. Short hair on the back of her neck stood, the feeling of being watched like a prey was making her nervous and yet, everytime she glanced back, his face was calm and collected, sometimes starting a pointless little talk about weather, their next best possible camp or if she is not tired or thirsty. He was getting under her skin, not even a full day after he pointed his gun at her, low-key threating to shoot her. She felt the pull, that morning when he surprised her by the tree, or when he helped her get Clint off of her.

Y/N’s mind wondered to the latter, remembering how Steve picked her up, his hands firm on her hip and other hand on the small of her back. Sure, she was sleepy but there was undeniably possessive aura around him for a second, his sky blue eyes turned stormy blue with supressed emotion Y/N couldn’t quite put her finger on. The sound around them seemed to stop when his stare shifted from her eyes to her lips, leaving her breathless. And suddenly he let go, Bucky passing by slapping Clint’s head brought her back, knees wobbly, her mind desperately trying to think of something else than the raw need she saw flashing through Captain’s eyes, the need she felt in her lower stomach.

“Don’t!” Y/N thought, shaking her head, “This is no time for stupid crushes. Concentrate on the situation you are in, stupid.” She berated herself and with a final tap on her cheek, that turned little harsher than she wanted, she pushed intruding thoughts and deep blue eyes out of her mind.

**Few days later**

"Okay, people, you know the drill. Stick together, keep low. Grab everything you deem necessary and we will meet here in two hours sharp.” Steve ordered to the people around him standing in pairs, Nat with Clint and Y/N with him.

Situation got desperate when Pepper fell ill and basic anti-inflammatory pills had no effect, driving Tony almost crazy. It took Bruce and Rogers almost two hours to dissuade him from going to city by himself, Bruce wrote bunch of possible meds for others to find, also adding quickly disappearing water to the list, due to high temperatures and no rain, only small pond nearby that was way too murky and muddy to be safe to drink from.

Mood got considerably worse, laughter and chatter reduced to almost nothing as Pepper coughed and somewhat distant, almost cold stare Y/N were giving to Steve did not go unnoticed. Her mind was focused on surviving and helping the group. So when Rogers asked for volunteers to the most possibly a death trip to the city, she didn’t hesitate to raise her hand, earning a scowl from Rogers, Nat and Clint Y/N ignored. Even Bucky and Sam were against the idea but were shot down with her reasoning. After all, she alone, even with help of Tony, wouldn’t be able to defend the camp if infected were to attack.

And so now, Y/N was kneeling down next to Rogers, Nat and Clint, city streets still littered with shredded, rotting bodies literally around the corner. Theoretically, their mission was simple. Find the nearest pharmacy, look for useful medicines, the best while not crossing path with no undead monsters. Practically… it was already doomed to be harder as street before them was already occupied with death on legs.

“What now?” Nat asked, her face rid of any emotion, unlike Clint and Rogers who gritted their teeth at the sight of occasional dead cop walking around. “We could take them on, there is not that many of them,“ Clint suggested, “even without using any firearms.“

“That’s dumb idea.“ Y/N shook her head, interrupting blonde Captain. “We don’t know how they behave. What if half of the bodies that lies there are just in some dormant state, waiting for the sound to wake up? And how many can be inside of the stores and houses? We could easily go from ten freaks to hundred freaks.“

Steve raised his hand to silence everyone. “We don’t really have much of a choice. We need to get past this street and then split up to cover more ground.“ “Or, Clint and Nat can take first backalley and distract some of them. There should be fire escape ladder to the roof and avoid fight and give us enough space to get to the other side. You could check the shop nearby, it has that small overpriced pharmacy inside.” Y/N pointed towards the small backalley. It’s entrance was half-ass barricaded with debris and junk, it would offer a good hindrance to undead and no problem to jump over for Clint and Natasha. “We could go towards residential area and scan some smaller shops for first-aid kits.” With a slight hesitation, Y/N looked at Steve, giving him a chance to voice his opinion.

“Shouldn’t we check the big mall right in front of us too?” He asked, with slightest sarcasm in the voice. “Where do you think most of the people went when the panic started? And how many of them died inside?” Y/N raised her brow, “that place must be a graveyard and I’m not risking that something will bite my ankle.”

“That’s fair.” He nodded, all snark gone, “okay, we have a plan. We meet just outside the city in an hour. If we are not here, wait for twenty minutes and then go back to camp.” He noticed three mouths opening, ready to backtalk. “That’s an order! We are not losing any more people!” He snapped, something dark flashing behind his blue eyes, shutting everyone up effectively, younger Barton and Nat visibly irritated.

Things went relatively well. Other two crossed over the barricade quickly, just a few undead trying to follow but too slow to actually keep up. Quickly signing they’re okay from afar, it was time for Y/N and Rogers to go, blowing into a full sprint while trying to not make a noise and Y/N found out she was not really that fast as she thought as she tried to keep up with Steve, losing quite miserably. They were lucky, they crossed path with freaks only once but with kinda terrifying speed, Steve got rid of them, his knife stabbing fast, his irritation clear when he snapped a neck of one of the approaching undead. There was not much to do for Y/N only to keep up, hissing warning when some staggering corpse got too close. When two finally stopped, rows of houses spread before them. Tugging Y/N aside, Steve jumped over the short fence, slowly stalking over to the first house, front garden surprisingly clean, no dead bodies in sight, what couldn’t be said about the neighbour’s garden, three bodies lying there, rotting in the hot sun.

Inside of the house was not pristine clean anymore, blood spills and marks covering the walls, bloody footprints leading towards the back alerted Y/N and Steve into a fighting stance once more just as a thump and a moan from the kitchen sounded, painfully loud in almost soundless world. Sneaking towards the sound, another gruesome sight waited for them. As if the scene from Evil Dead franchise, a corpse half laid-half sat by the counter one hand cuffed to the lower cupboard, a meat cleaver covered in dried blood was next to it, forgotten when death claimed another victim, other hand half-sawn off, sickly green skin covered by festering bite marks. Almost every part of the lower body was gone as another undead monster crouched down munching on the dead meat, oblivious to two new possible victims. With pained expression, Y/N quickly grabbed feeding monster by the back of the shirt and yanked sideways, her military knife striking the skull quickly, killing the abomination. Sitting back on her heels, Y/N turned her head towards shocked Steve, inhaling, she opened her mouth but screeched instead when cold, wet hand clutched her shoulder.

Poorly balanced position Y/N was in caused her legs to buckle, her back slamming with a disgusting splotch into messy, bloody remains of now alive corpse’s lower stomach, twitching hand tangling in Y/N’s loose hair, using it to pull itself towards her, teeth clatting in desperate need to spread the infection. "Y/N!" Steve shouted and rushed to her side, young woman struggling from being bit, pushing both hands in creeper's face, panic clogging her throat from screaming. A strong muscular hand sneaked around her middle and yanked backwards, her back slamming into sturdy chest as Steve stabbed undead, it's hold releasing instantly. Backing a few steps back and falling down, Y/N landed in Steve's lap, panic and shock still overpowering her senses, making her squirm and try to get away.

"Shhh, it's okay. Y/N," Steve cooed, dropping his knife and put his hand at Y/N's forehead, turning her face to side and push it under his chin, "Y/N, look at me doll. You are alright. Listen to my heartbeat." His words slowly pushed through the haze in Y/N's mind as he felt her hold her breath, ear pushed in his chest and hand scrunching the shirt on his left arm. After agonizingly slow minute, Y/N looked up, her Y/E/C eyes boring in his blue ones. "You okay?" Steve asked, cupping her cheek in gentliest way possible. For a second, Steve thought he saw her eyes flicker to his lips but before he could react, Y/N pushed herself up. "Yeah," Y/N cringed at her raspy voice, "thank you. I didn't expect it to be still alive." She wobbled a little and ignored how Steve jumped up and reached for her, her eyes glued at his front. The front of his grey shirt was drenched in dark blood, now she realised her back was soaking wet and her hair felt dirty from being touched by undead's rotting skin. "We should find some new shirts for us and quickly search this place. We don't have much time." Nodding his head, Steve picked up both knives and carefully headed upstairs, tapping the handle on a few doors, waiting to hear a growl or other sign of 'life'. They were lucky, no other infected was inside and some spare clothes were thrown around the bedroom, as if previous residents tried to pack in hurry, unsure what to pack. "Did I do something?" Steve asked as he took off his shirt, his back turned to Y/N, who followed his lead and quickly discarded her ruined shirt, catching her out of guard with sudden question.

"Sorry?" She asked turning around, catching a glimpse of muscular back disappearing under new black shirt that was a size too small. Distracted by the sight, she didn't notice when Steve turned around and stepped closer, his calloused hand under her chin snapped her back. Once again, the feeling of being trapped seized in as she noticed his blue eyes darkening, like a mouse looking in cobra’s eyes, hypnotized, tiny voice, voice of reason, telling her to step back or push him away, silenced by gray haze that seeped in her brain. Steve's face was stern and yet soft, dominant aura around him told her he will not accept lies or simple distraction, his blue eyes burrowing in her soul, baring her to him.

His voice was octave lower, sending shivers creeping up her back. "You keep your distance from me. You barely look me in the eyes. And I know you feel something too." He took a step closer and now he was impossibly close and brought his hand on Y/N's throat, his thumb caressing her pulse, from his fingertips, what felt like electric pulses quickened her heartbeat and blood rushed in her cheeks. "So," he bent down a little, their faces on the same level, "what is going through that head of yours, Barton?"

You couldn't do it, you couldn't lie anymore, not when deep in his eyes, you saw lust, need, but also something very fragile and soft. "I'm afraid." Y/N answered, her voice coming out as a soft whisper. "I'm afraid to lose any more people." Her whole body shuddered when Steve's eyes softened and his thumb stroked the soft skin of her cheek. "Creating a bond, caring about another person in this kind world, it's like waiting for something inevitably wrong to happen, to either me, or you or anybody else. I already worry about Clint and Nat and everybody back at the camp. I can't-" Y/N voice broke and she took a step back, wiping away unshed tears with the back of her hand. "This is not time and place to discuss this. We should move on."

Opening the door to the bathroom, Steve looks back at Y/N, his face set with determination. “When we get back, we will continue.” Not waiting for any response, his demeanor changed into one of a Captain and went inside, the creaking of cabinet doors was only thing Y/N heard. Taking a deep breath, Y/N fell on her knees beside the bed, lifting the covers to look beneath it. She couldn’t help the small victory smirk when she heard an irritated sigh from bathroom as she reached for bright red first aid-kit, put on the stack of books. YN smiled softly as she opened the kit, revealing brand new packages of band aids, bandages, some antiseptic wipes, hermetically sealed and among the basic painkillers, a pills of Tramadol, one of Bruce’s top choices. It was hard to believe they hit the mark at first try but Y/N knew better than to ponder about if’s and when’s.

“Got something.” She called and proudly shown her treasure to Steve, who carried more bandages, one bottle of Advil and Hydrogen Peroxide. “It’s a good start but we still have time to look for more. Let’s hope Nat and Clint had better luck.” Y/N stuck the kit in her backpack.

“We still have half an hour left. If we hurry, we can cover bigger part of the neighborhood.” Steve took Y/N’s bag unconsciously, slinging it over his shoulder, handing her his empty bag, making Y/N roll her eyes and blush slightly at the same time. Rolling because it made her feel underestimated again, latter for the ‘gentlemanliness’, the softness Y/N was not shown that often.

Luck was once again on their side as those few freaks that roamed the street didn’t notice them and some of the houses were almost untouched, clearly abandoned in haste as the first one. Leaving the last house, Y/N and Steve both carried some canned food, more bottled water, bandages and disinfectants. As much they were calmer now they had what they wanted, they still had to go back and Y/N’s mind was occupied with thought of Clint and Nat, worried about them, even thought they were more than capable of taking care of themselves. They were like a siblings to her, well, Clint literally and mere thought of losing either of them made her stomach churn painfully.

“We have all we need. I’m sure Barton and Romanoff also found something useful.” Steve looked around, taking in the area around, assessing the best way to go back without drawing the attention to them. They were quite far from ‘rendezvous point’ and he worried about Y/N, woman beside him growing more and more nervous, checking her watch every two minutes, her muscles twitching the second they stopped moving. He didn’t want her here, out in the open in danger zone, not after what happened in the first house, the possessiveness he didn’t know he had in himself growing stronger each minute.

"Hey, they are okay. They will either wait for us the or back in the camp." Steve clasped his hand on Y/N's shoulder, trying his best to give her reassuring smile. Nodding her head, Y/N flashed a clearly fake smile and gripped the door handle, creaking the door slightly open, more than ready to make sure of Clint's safety with her own eyes.

"Dammit!" Y/N hissed peeping outside, seeing the number of freaks multiplied a bit, some now staggering around the lawn and front porch and as if that wasn't enough, sun was slowly setting down, casting the street in deep shades of orange and red, adding to the horror atmosphere. "We can't fight through all of them, we will have to outrun them." She mumbled as she closed the door again, feeling Steve's broad chest almost flush against her back as he peeked through the small window next to her, his hot breath fanning over the nape of her neck.

"We are much faster than them, even jogging should do the trick. We can't tire ourselves in the long run right at the beginning." He whispered in her ear and Y/N couldn't help but shudder at the feeling. Ever since she confessed her worries, spilling her fears and vulnerabilities to Steve, Y/N reacted to his presence, always aware of his closeness, aware how much closer he was keeping to her, supporting hand on the small of her back, his eyes trailing her movements, watching her like a hawk, ready to lend a helping hand.

‘Focus, Y/N. First, get back to camp alive,’ Y/N stopped her rampaging thoughts, ‘he wants to talk later, you can panic then.’ She shook her head slightly and strapped the bag on her back tightly also around her stomach and chest, leaving her hands free for defense.

"Let's get this over with." Y/N clenched her jaw, readying herself for a long run, Steve nodding his head, raising three fingers in short countdown. "Three." Exhaling, Y/N gripped the door handle again, slowly pushing it down. "Two." Steve gave Y/N one last look with determined face. "One." Y/N really hated this new world.

***********

"You are back!" Tony exclaimed, hastily getting up, barreling towards his friend, almost sending Bruce flying, who sat next to Pepper, who looked more was passed out than conscious, only her blinking eyes showing her struggle. Abruptly stopping, Tony looked at the coming group, raising his eyebrow: “Do I want to know what happened?”

Run back was not fun by any means, especially for Y/N. Just as Steve predicted, outrunning the staggering monsters was easy but the anxiety Y/N was feeling worsened with each step, reaching it’s peak when two arrived at the meeting point and Clint and Nat was nowhere to be seen, making Y/N sprint forward, only to yelp in surprise as Clint Natasha jumped from behind the big tree, knife in hand, her foot quickly stretching forward. Shock and fright causing Y/N’s reaction to slow, her own foot tripping over Nat’s, sending her down on the dirt, face-planting in small puddle, maybe only one in the whole forest which was rustling with dryness.

All sounds of life around them seemed to cease as Y/N slowly get up on her four limps, mud and water covering her whole face. Dripping down her neck and staining the new shirt, Y/N turned her head around, her eyes almost dead when they landed on shocked faces of her three companions, who just stood there almost motionless, only Clint’s shoulders showing a slight shaking which turned into full-blown snorting when his sister opened her mouth, pieces of mud and clamps of grass rolling out.

At this point, Y/N felt dead inside as she stood in the middle of the dark camp with dried up mud on her face, counting how many times she made a fool out of herself ever since she met the blue-eyed captain. In the corner of her eye, she noticed Bucky and Sam almost crying from laughter, discreetly sending them middle finger which even worsened the situation.

"I'm going to wash myself." Y/N muttered, turning to grinning Wanda, who handed her her spare shirt. BY the time they got back, sun has set and the forest around them was dark and mysterious but the need to clean up was stronger. Looking over her shoulder, Steve was crouching next to Tony, Bruce and Pepper, taking out found medicine, Clint and Nat handing out the bottles of water they found. "I'll holler if something happens." "Holler if you need help washing your back." Sam whistled after her and laughed at Y/N's face, both completely oblivious to Steve's clenched jaw and hard eyes, drilling a hole in his friends head.

Pond was not even two minutes walk away, area around secured with strings with attached pieces of cans, softly clanging in the breeze. Being this dirty, even slightly murky water felt divine, it's coldness refreshing Y/N's mind but reminding her just how tired and tense her body is, after all the running and her close encounter with death. Y/N shuddered remembering and abandoned washing the shirt, straight diving into the pond, scrubbing roughly at her skin, groaning at the memory of unnaturally cold and soft hand gripping the nape of her neck. A snap of a twig brought Y/N's mind back to reality as she turned and crouched down until the surface of the water reached just under her clavicles. "Wanda?" Y/N called out, squinting in the darkness that surrounded her.

"Sorry, it's me. I came to check on you, you are gone for a long time." Steve stepped from behind the tree, his eyes trained up on the outline of the moon. "I heard a splash then you groaned, I got worried."

"No, I just remembered that first house." Y/N trudged slowly towards him, still keeping everything hidden even if he were to look. Silence stretched between and despite the warm breeze, cool water started to seep in Y/N's bones, feeling goosebumps erupt all over her body, shaking like a leaf. " Can you turn around or go back behind the tree? I kinda wanna, you know...." Y/N's clanking teeth didn't escape Steve's attention as he quickly turned and mutter a quiet apology. Splashing behind him was tempting him to take a peek, the image of Y/N in the water reminded him of the stories his Ma told him when he was little, of women born in the water, nymphs, beautiful creatures that bathed in the light of the moon, taking their beauty and power from it's soft glow. That is how Y/N looked there, her wet hair plastered to her face, pale shine on her skin making her look out of this world.

Clenching his jaw, Steve shift his feet, discreetly trying to ease the slightly tightening pants, the sound of the fabric brushing against the skin painfully loud in the forest stillness. Focusing on his breath, Steve failed to notice Y/N trudging towards him, wet washed clothes hanging on her hand. "You look horrible. I think you need a good sleep without being on a watch tonight." Y/N stood beside him, her big eyes, glossy from exhaustion trained on him.

"Yeah," Steve cough, looking down on slightly smaller woman, "we both need that. It was a long day."

"Mmmhm, but I'm glad we found what we needed. We did good." Y/N smiled at the image she saw before exiting the camp: Pepper swallowing the pills with some newfound strength, Tony kissing her temple, holding the bottle to her lips as Bruce nearby started sorting out all the pills and medicines. Raising her eyes to Steve's, Y/N gave him the brightest smile, tired lines on her face and dark circles beneath her eyes seemingly disappearing: "We will make it. We will survive this together. Everything-"

She doesn't get to tell him everything will be okay as she got spun around and lifted in the air, her back suddenly pressed against the bark of a tree, Steve's lips pressed tightly in hers, making her moan in surprise. Guttural sound allowed Steve to lick her lower lip and slip inside, gently proding at her tongue. His hand were on her thighs and one muscular thigh between her legs, keeping her boisted up. With a wet squelch, Y/N's clothes fell on the dusty ground as she wrapped her arm around his neck, other one cupping his bearded cheek, feeling of cold water forgotten as now her skin was flaming hot with each swirl of Steve's tongue, making her shudder stronger and stronger, whimper leaving her lips as Steve pressed his body tighter to hers, trapping her between him and the tree as his hand left her hips and grabbed her own hands, raising them above her head, locking them in his one big palm.

"Steve-" Y/N gasped in Steve's mouth, gulping at the air as his lips traveled south, peppering her chin and throat with kisses and gentle bites, his hand squeezing her side, his thumb caressing the skin on her hip bone, sending molten lava in her Y/N's stomach.

"Steve." This time Y/N's voice was stronger as she wiggled her hips in attempt to snap him out of his mission to explore her body, but the movement only made her aware of the situation in his pants, blood rushed to Y/N's face furiously. "Steve,stop." She whispered in Steve's ears, her voice purposely low and hoarse.

That did the trick as he froze, slowly looking up, his eyes rid of almost all the blue, pupils blown in big black orbs with all the emotions seeping through. "We wanted to talk, Rogers. Calm down, I'm not going anywhere." Y/N breathed in his ear, feeling the shiver run through his body, power she had over this man made Y/N bite her lip. " We have all the time now to talk. I'm not going to run anymore." She slipped her hand out of his grip and cupped his cheek again, her thumb on his lower lip. "Let me down." Almost immediately, Steve lowered her down, sliding along with her as Y/N's legs gave out, her back still pressed into the bark of the tree but still basically sitting in Steve's lap.

"Sorry." He murmured, his warm breath fanning Y/N's face. "I just can't- the pull I feel towards you. I'm sorry for rushing this." His eyes, still clouded and yet so sincere made Y/N lean over and press a kiss in the corner of his mouth. "Shh, it's okay. I didn't make it exactly easy for you, did I?" Y/N laughed out quietly. "We Bartons are horrible at these feelings things." She nuzzled her nose to his.

"I can leave right now if I make you uncomfortable." Steve tried to get up, only to be dragged back down by Y/N who looked in panic.

"No! I'm sorry, it just- just give me a minute to collect my thoughts." She said, vulnerability taking over her features, making Steve kiss her forehead and then both eyelids.

"What you said back in the house, about losing people you care about-I understand that." Steve squeezed Y/N's side. "I too, don't want to feel it again but feeling nothing and then blame myself later, I don't want that too. That pain, those feelings makes us alive, they are what differentiate us from them. I like you. I know it's early but I do."

Y/N lips trembled and tears pooled in her eyes. "You can't promise me you will be alright. We don't know what will be in three days. I already care too much, I'm afraid. I don't want to lose you." Y/N pressed herself against Steve's chest, her words proof just how much she really cares. "I like you too."

Kissing the top of Y/N's head, he muttered to himself, "To live is to suffer," and smiled as he felt Y/N's hand sneak around his middle, finishing the thought: "To survive is to find some meaning to the suffering."

It would be a lie to say Y/N wasn't afraid, or nervous, tense. In her life, seven new people appeared who took place in her heart, which, with Clint and Nat already there, felt too full at the time. Love in the world of death is risky and painful, leaving you both vulnerable and strong, protective and forgiving. But love is worth of all the pain and you just have to find the right people to accept it.

The End

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