#I fear I may never stop talking about this photo

[wandaslittleweirdo]

this was so yummy of her

[fallingsatellive]

“It’s obviously valid to be bugkin but you also can’t just expect people to get over it when they have a genuine fear!”

I’m afraid of dogs.

Dogs put me extremely on edge. I avoid them while outside and if one’s in a room with me I’ll try to leave or else start to panic. Especially medium-sized and larger breeds. Mere images of dogs may not give me a panic attack, I will admit that, it's not a phobia. But if you want to talk hypocrisy, if you're opening up that discussion:

Hey dog therians, dog otherhearted folks and clinical cynanthropes, what if everywhere you went, the unspoken attitude of the alterhuman community was—

Don’t post dog photos or talk about being a dog in the main alterhuman tags. Don’t talk about your shifts, your instincts, or your kind in the main tags. If you’re a CZ, don’t talk so openly about your biological reality. It’s extremely triggering for people with cynophobia. The idea of physically being or becoming a dog grosses them out to briefly think about, so try not to discuss your literal existence. If you must, at least trigger tag yourself with #tw dogs or #tw dog mention so people can stay safe by censoring things that will hurt their mental health. It’s okay if you’re dogkin but in my DNI I'm going to write something like, don’t follow me if your blog hosts too many graphic close-up images of dogs doing dog things, even if you censor them. Don’t add dog photos to open posts in the alterhuman tags, you have no idea who might be sent into a panic attack by images of yourself so you should play it safe and only put them on your own posts. And stop being so offended by people who comment on posts about pet dogs or dog facts saying they want to bleach their eyes or kill it with fire, they can’t help having a phobia.

Not great, is it? Fortunately, and I do genuinely mean that, this is a sentiment you will only see once, on this post, completely satirically. Except it’s just a real sentiment for bug therians/hearted and other invertebrate alterhumans. Of course what I said was satire. But if it pissed you off when you thought it might not be, please, contemplate on that reaction, really spend some time on it.

Also, if you're wondering what I mean by "other invertebrate alterhumans", (and I'm sorry for how heated I got when I was writing this part last night even after editing it down)

You know I’m a bug zoanthrope too, not just a bird? And see above if you're wondering why I never said shit about it, just said I was a centipede therian and even then said I was just questioning and didn't really talk much about it. Am I allowed to talk about it without tagging it #tw body horror, even though I obviously don’t fucking find my own body to be horror? Can I talk about it without tagging it #tw bugs like just the very thing that I am needs to be censored for people's well-being? I'm sorry if I come across judgmental. Offline I constantly interact with people saying they’re a nature lover but centipedes are the only thing on Earth that they still hate. And I have to come online knowing that any of those people could be bloggers in the alterhuman tags and it’s my responsibility to tiptoe around them. “Because centipedes are scary and disgusting.” Because I’m scary and disgusting. My brain is not capable of hearing a difference and I can’t change that. It is so much my reality that it's the same emotional mix of anger and anxiety and hurt that would be (has been, lol) triggered by someone ranting about how much they hate Jews or trans people to me.

[santanasaintmendes]

make tacos, not war

part4! to the cosmic girl records 

¡cosmic girl records!

summary: tacos, tequila, beaches, the mexican grand prix, beefing with charles and getting roasted by the grid, anything else? 

olliebearman x reader & platonic!grid x reader 

fc!: gorgeous girls on pinterest all credits go to their rightful owners!

disclaimer!: there are sensitive and offensive jokes used below so do not interact if you are not ok with those things! If there is anything that i have included that is seriously inappropriate and harmful to people contact me and let me know so i can do my best to make sure everyone is happy!

a/n: AHHHHHHH! Thank you so much to everyone who has supported the ¡cosmic girl records! so far it seriously makes my day to see all the likes and reblogs.

warnings!: talking about addiction to alcohol (the 2019 rookies call y/n an alcoholic), joking about death, y/n calls checo mr taco man, swearing, offensive jokes, british slander i’m sorry 😞, stealing of best friends, the knife emoji?

word count!: 1.6k

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, lilymhe, charles_leclerc, georgerussell64 and 4,472,382 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: siesta, fiesta, tequila and repeat! 

tagged olliebearman

view 23,392 comments 

 bestie1: while i rot away in my pj’s watching friends smh 😔

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: I LITERALLY ASKED IF U WANTED TO COME TOO????

|

 bestie1: oh yeah 

user1: SHE’S SO PRETTY TF?? 

 user2: the third pic 😍

|

 user3: the first pic 😍

|

 user4: the second pic 😍 

 olliebearman: the first pic: moments before disaster 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: don’t expose me like that???

|

 user9: hittin’ the man with the triple question mark, shit’s about to get real

|

 olliebearman: she fell into the water.

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: OPEN THE DOOR 

|

 user12: GIRL WHAT

|

 olliebearman: NO STOP TRYING TO BREAK DOWN THE FRONT DOOR YOU PSYCHO

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: that’s fine. your windows open

|

 olliebearman: WHAT 

|

 user5: is he still alive 

|

 user6: he may be dead i fear 

 unfortunatelyy/n: update: oliver james bearman is no longer a problem in today’s society 😄

|

 landonorris: damn hittin him with the full government name is cold 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: shut up what do you know 

|

 landonorris: more than you that’s for sure 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHY CAN’T U JUST LEAVE ME IN PEACE 

|

 landonorris: if i remember correctly, YOU were the one who wanted to be friends 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: I WAS 5. i was young, dumb and foolish, i didn’t know what i wanted 😔

|

 landonorris: @georgerussell64 @alex_albon 

|

 georgerussell64: hmm, i smell a liar 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: tf u sniffing around for mf 

|

 alex_albon: damn so aggressive 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: shut up your girlfriend’s cheating on you with me 

|  alex_albon: 🥲

|

 user7: alex’s smiling through the pain fr 

user8: the 2019 rookie’s goal this year: make y/n suffer 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 schecoperez: i approve, nice photos 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: thank you mr taco man 

|

 user9: MR TACO MAN HELP

|

 user10: okay now i’m convinced they’re besties 

 liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user11: I could use a glass of tequila right about now 

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, georgerussell64, alexandrasaintmleux and 6,382,493 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: tequila, tamales, a boy, what more could a girl want?

tagged olliebearman

view 93,392 comments 

 user1: did ollie so dirty in the third pic 😭

|

 user2: that’s what happens when u cross y/n 😭

 olliebearman: i take it you’re still mad at me?

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: yes ❤️🔪

|

 user7: NOT THE KNIFE EMOJI 

 carlossainz55: remind me again to never offend you in any way 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: @olliebearman watch and learn 

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 olliebearman: ok 😔

|

 landonorris: yeah ollie 😒

|

 olliebearman: why are you attacking me too 😭

|

 landonorris: idk it’s fun 

|

 olliebearman: wow. 

user3: we love savage y/n, may she reign forever 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 landonorris: y/n confirmed alcoholic  

|

 georgerussell64: y/n confirmed clown 

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 alex_albon: y/n confirmed delusional girl 

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 charles_leclerc: y/n confirmed idiot 

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 user8: damn 😭

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 unfortunatelyy/n: DAMN WHAT DID I DO TO YA’LL 

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 charles_leclerc: live. 

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 alex_albon: steal my girlfriend.

|

 georgerussell64: take my phone charger WITHOUT my permission

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 landonorris: @charles_leclerc what he said

|

unfortunatelyy/n: . . . I-

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 landonorris: absolutely speechless, completely baffled, rendered loquacious 

|

 user5: i didn’t realise lando had that many words in his vocabulary 

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 georgerussell64: okay pop off shakespeare i see u 👀

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU ALL ESPECIALLY YOU @charles_leclerc

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 charles_leclerc: it’s okay we all hate you too! 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: i don’t usually swear but you charles marc herve percival leclerc are one little shit 

|

 charles_leclerc: DIE. 

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 user6: oof his ego took a hit with the full name 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: after you, ladies first 😌

|

 charles_leclerc: @olliebearman come and get your girlfriend she’s escaped her cage 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: HEY THAT’S NOT FAIR @alexandrasaintmleux I’M ABOUT TO MURDER YOUR BOYFRIEND COME AND GET HIM BEFORE I DO

|

 user4: HELP GUYS THE KIDS ARE FIGHTING 

|

 olliebearman: @alexandrasaintmleux gf/bf duty calls 😔

|

 alexandrasaintmleux: 😔

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, lewishamilton, alexandrasaintmleux, carmenmmundt and 3,382,382 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: ready for this weekend! 

tagged olliebearman

view 18,372 comments

 olliebearman: thank you for the nice photos this time 🥰

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: you’re welcome peasant 

|

 olliebearman: i can never win around here 

|

 user3: poor ollie 😔

user4: THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE IS KILLING ME 

user1: guys we’ve officially lost her to ferrari 😔

 landonorris: traitor. 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: excuse me child

|

 landonorris: don’t play dumb, you abandoned mclaren and here i was thinking we were best friends 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: WHY DO YOU KEEP ATTACKING ME IN MY OWN INSTA COMMENTS FACE ME LIKE A MAN 

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 landonorris: don’t change the subject

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 user2: bro took a hit on his ego with that one 

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 landonorris: i’m calling in the reinforcements @charles_leclerc @georgerussell64 @alex_albon

| 

 unfortunatelyy/n: STOP 🛑✋

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 georgerussell64: she can’t even admit it 

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 alex_albon: shame on you 

|

 charles_leclerc: why’d u call me i literally drive for ferrari

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 landonorris: cuz u roast her the best

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 unfortunatelyy/n: u guys suck

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 charles_leclerc: he’s not wrong 

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 unfortunatelyy/n: I HATE YOU 

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 charles_leclerc: the feeling is mutual 

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 landonorris: you not only betrayed me but the other idiots too

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 alex_albon: i speak for all williams fans when i say FOR SHAME 

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 georgerussell64: FOR SHAMEEEEEE

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 lilymhe: 🤨 whatchu hatin on my wifey for @alex_albon @georgerussell64

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 carmenmmundt: yeah? 🤨

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 alex_albon: @georgerussell64 help what do we do

|

 georgerussell64: if anyone asks, i’ve left the country.

|

 user5: GEORGE HELP 

|

 alex_albon: how could you abandon me like that 

|

 user6: such a fake friend fr 

liked by landonorris, olliebearman, oscarpiastri, georgerussell64, alex_albon, lilymhe and 6,829,200 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: cheat meal!

tagged olliebearman

view 38,292 comments 

user1: she’s never beating the alcoholic allegations im afraid 😔

 user2: WHY DOES THE FOOD LOOK SO GOOD, I’M BOOKING A FLIGHT TO MEXICO RN

|

 user3: get zambrero?

|

 user2: STFU IT’S NOT THE SAME 

 landonorris: caught in 4k 📸

|

 olliebearman: @unfortunatelyy/n YOU DIDN’T TELL ME YOU WERE GOING TO POST IT ON YOUR INSTA 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: darling, every photo i take is for my insta 

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 user4: oo that gave me the chills “darling”

|

 user5: WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO HER OLLIE SHE’S BRITISH NOW 

|

 user6: y/n now: 🤓🇬🇧

|

 ferrari: @olliebearman pick up the phone 

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 olliebearman: NO. 

|

 user7: RUN OLLIE RUNNNN 

user8: god bless y/n for these photos may she reign forever 🙏

liked by unfortunatelyy/n 

user9: smh, guys we’ve lost y/n to the tequila, only god can help her now 

user10: get yourself someone who looks at you the way ollie looks at that bowl of food 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

georgerussell64: why would you expose ollie like that, let my guy have his cheat meal without the entire internet coming after him 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: woah what happened to you 

|

 georgerussell64: im afraid to ask what you mean 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: who knew george russell would vouch for MY BOYFRIEND 

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 georgerussell64: well it’s better than pushing him into the barriers every weekend 

|

 olliebearman 😰

 user11: i have an odd itching feeling that the 2019 rookies still hate ollie for dating their younger sister 

|

 user12: ya think 

liked by olliebearman, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, carlossainz55, lewishamilton, francisca.cgomes and 5,382,493 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: i cant. it’s race day. 

view 38,492 comments 

 landonorris: wow. exposing me like that. i hope u die alone 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: doing it for the plot 🤷‍♀️

|

 user7: AMEN SISTER 🙏🗣️

user1: poor lando, what was the tea tho 👀

user7: y/n’s got her priorities set straight 

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user2: SPILL THE TEA LANDOOOOOOO 

 carlossainz55: what is tea 

|

 olliebearman: it’s a drink??

|

 olliebearman: oh.

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: it’s okay i still love you 

|

 olliebearman: ok 😔

 charles_leclerc: SPILL THE TEA Y/N 🗣️

|

 carlossainz55: 🗣️🗣️

|

 maxvertappen1: 🗣️🗣️🗣️

|

 georgerussell64: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

|

 schecoperez: 🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️🗣️

|

 landonorris: IF YOU TELL THEM YOU DIE 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: threatening me in my own comments, who do u think you are? |

 landonorris: . . .  your best friend . . . ? 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: nah, oscar’s my best friend now 

|

 landonorris: @oscarpiastri ?

|  oscarpiastri: @unfortunatelyy/n: YOU WEREN’T SUPPOSED TO TELL HIM

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: whoops 🫢

|  landonorris: i see how it is 😔

 user4: still waiting to know what the tea is 

|

 landonorris: YOU’LL NEVER KNOW 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: hm, we’ll see 👀

|

 landonorris:😰

user5: oscar and y/n best friends confirmed 👍

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

 user6: the y/n i know would spill the tea 👀

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: 👀

|

 user6: HELP Y/N 

liked by olliebearman, landonorris, charles_leclerc, lilymhe, alexandrasaintmleux, francisca.cgomes and 8,382,859 others 

unfortunatelyy/n: love you to the moon and back a million times, always and forever, congratulations my love 🐻❤️

olliebearman: love you to the moon and back 🌙💞

liked by unfortunatelyy/n

user1: LOVE YOU TO THE MOON AND BACK? MY LOVE??? ARE U KIDDING ME 😭😭

user2: it’s the onions. it’s the onions. it’s the onions

user3: im not crying you are 

user4: homeboy’s turning 1 

user5: i can’t wait for lando to pop up in the comments it’s like whenever y/n posts he’s summoned or sum shit like that

user6: ah yes, young love 

user8: OMG I’M CRYINGGGG AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

landonorris: @olliebearman u know, orange would look better on you, there’s a free seat available here at  mclaren 👀

|

 oscarpiastri: i thought you said we were okay 

|

 user9: why do they sound like an old couple tf 😭😭

|

 landonorris: i say a lot of things i don’t mean, traitor 😤

|

 oscarpiastri: you’re acting like a child 

|

 landonorris: no you are!

|

 oscarpiastri: says the guy who just used an exclamation mark in an insta comment 

|

 landonorris: its official. i’m going to dive bomb you off the track next week 

|

 oscarpiastri: what? after your DNF? cuz i don’t think that’s possible 

|

 user8: DAYUM 

|  unfortunatelyy/n: ooooooh he got u there @landonorris 

|

 landonorris: I HATE YOU, YOU STOLE MY BEST FRIEND 

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: i can’t have stolen him if he was my friend first 

|

 landonorris: wHaT. 

|

 oscarpiastri: ah yes, the magic of childhood friends 

|

 user7: HELP WHAT ARE THEY TALKING ABOUT 

|

 landonorris: but she’s american and you’re australian. . . right?

|

 unfortunatelyy/n: mhm sure 

|

 olliebearman: 😦

|

 landonorris: 😦

taglist time!: @ilivbullyingjeongin

a/n: thank you for reading if you got to the end! I hope it made you laugh, have a great day xx

[petew21-blog]

Let's run some tests

"Won't let her get away this time" I said to my new reflection

My girlfriend of two years decided to split up right before I was ready to propose to her. All that cause she was working as a veterinary nurse with this guy, Dr. Omar. She said she didn't cheat, but she said she fell in love like never before. I couldn't let her get away. She was the best woman I ever met. I had to do everything to get her back

Maybe it was luck, maybe a trickster god, but I do owe him. I woke up as Omar the next day that Alisha moved out. I was shocked, everyone would be.

He was not a bad looking guy. But in my previous body I was a bit... how do I say this. Well, maybe slighty against some minorities. So even thought it was meant for me as a blessing, I was having a hard time at first, waking up with a different skin tone. So what a guy from Nebraska like me might not have a great mind set

That changed when I discovered I could be grateful for the body I was now in. Slight hairs over the chest, veins popping out everywhere. Damn, chicks are gonna dig this. Especially Alisha. If my balding head and belly fat was the thing that made her not love me, than so be it. I am improved now.

As I proceeded in my examination, revealing a very nice surprise in the boxers. A message from my ex-girlfriend popped on the screen. "Hey, wanna meet later. I am at the beach now, but I am up for dinner or sth."

"Hey, sure. The beach sounds better tho" I sent to her. She rewarded me with a photo in her swimming suit, revealing the beautiful body I already knew

I took a photo of myself in a vest with a sthetoscope. Even if she won't like it I may keep the photo for myslef. The chicks love animals and they love doctor. Man, being an animal doctor must be like a lottery for them

Another message popped up on the screen. It was my old body. He wanted to meet up and talk about what happened. Great. Right on time

I met him at the edge of the town. He was nervously stepping around the car. He then approached me, being scared what might happen to him in my body. I stayed confident. He can't hurt me now. I don't have to do anything. I threatened him, that if he was gonna say anything to anyone, I will find. Not that anyone would believe him. I was almost ready to leave, but then he stopped me

"If you won't fix this, I will reveal everything I did in my body that will ruin your career and drive Alisha away from you"

Fuck. Maybe he does have advantage after all. Or maybe not

"Ok, stay here, I'll go get my phone and we can discuss how to revert this. Ok?" he agreed with me and stayed at his car.

What he didn't expect was that I prepared a dart gun with anesthaethic and shot the dart at him. He screamed in pain, cursed at me, while I just laughed. He stumbled and fell on the ground, still trying to get up

I got over him, enjoying how he was trying to fight the effects.

"Sorry, for that. I might have given you a higher dose. I gotta get used to being a doctor now haha. But before I do anything else to you know this. NO ONE! IS GONNA GET BETWEEN ME AND ALISHA! SHE IS MINE!!!"

The fear in his eyes remained even as his body's heart failed. Atleast he won't bother us anymore. Now, gotta fix everything before my date tonight with Alisha. I am lucky that I already know her and know what to say in advance. I am so excited!

Story submitted in inbox: Would you do a story with an man swapping bodies with the hunky doctor currently dating his ex girlfriend?

[ynscrazylife]

Hi Jess! I have a request similar to the paternal BAU fics you’ve done about if they were your parents, but can I please request a ‘Spencer as your big brother’ type list - idk what the sitch would be that he would end up being your guardian for but it probably made him extra protective and brotherly and yeah I would love that a lot thanks Jess!!!

spencer being your big brother (spencer reid x little sibling!reader)

i couldn’t really think of how to fit in spencer being your guardian so i’m sorry it’s not in here!

In the BAU’s eyes, Spencer is a total nerd. He’s a kid. The youngest of the group. To you, however, he’s your hero. You adore him and you look up to him for guidance on just about everything. Yes, sometimes his never-ending spewing of facts can be a bit annoying, but mostly you appreciate his wisdom and how much he seems to know about everything. It’s useful whenever you have a problem or some issue and you don’t know what to do.

The team is still shocked when one day, you waltz right into their headquarters and go right up to your big brother. Usually the most attentive one, Spencer drops everything in the moment to make sure you’re alright.

“Who is this kid??” — Derek, probably.

Spencer proudly introduces you as his little sibling, the light of his life, as well as the most important person in his life.

JJ and Garcia absolutely adore you. The rest are soon to follow, with Hotch and Derek in particular also taking a liking to you (especially Derek since Spencer’s already like his younger brother).

Even though he enjoys having you hang out with the team, Spencer otherwise prefers to keep you away from his work. He doesn’t often divulge the details of anything really that he does.

Of course, the BAU gets you to tell them stories about Spencer and show you old photos, which you’re more than happy to do.

Spencer is not happy when he finds out and that’s when the BAU sees his stern side. He very much adopts a stern parent persona, his hands on his hips, a disappointing frown, the whole thing. He has an authoritative voice that the BAU’s never heard before that immediately gets you into line.

“Why have you never talked like that on missions?” — Hotch

Even when he does have to get firm, he never stays angry with you. It’s impossible for him. He never wants to upset you, either.

If you ever have an issue, Spencer’s the one to go to. He’s a great listener and he will ask if you’re looking to rant or if you’re looking for advice/a solution.

He will protect you from anything and everything. When it comes to you, he forgets all about his fears.

Even if he is away for work, he makes sure you know that you can always call him. He will always pick up your phone call, no matter the time or day. He hates when he’s stuck in meetings or is away from his phone, because he always wants to be around in case you need him.

If you ever decide to be in a relationship with someone, Spencer’s your number #1 supporter. He will, however, go to Derek to ask for advice on how to be intimidating. He will scare your partner and make sure that they know you’re not to be messed with or left heartbroken.

And if you end up heartbroken, Spencer’s there with boxes of chocolate and his shoulder to cry on (if you don’t stop crying, he’ll call Garcia or Penelope in a panic).

Spencer’s a great tutor!! If you ever need any help in that area, he is patient and thorough. It’s very important to him that you understand the process and he is very in tune to however you learn best. There are no dumb questions.

You’ll often receive random texts from Spencer if he ever needs to rant about something that he’s interested in.

You are the first person he goes to whenever he wants to announce something! He wants you to hear any good news he has first.

Spencer may be your big brother, but he’s also your best friend. He’ll listen to any gossip you wanna share, he’ll go on Target runs with you, he’s up for pretty much anything.

But that means that you also have to be willing to go to the bookstore with him. That man can spend hours going through the shelves.

He’s a very fun and kind brother. He takes his role very seriously.

[atticssmellgood]

‘Cause You’re Not Home (You’re Never Home)

Alex Turner x GN!reader(no specific pronouns used)

Summary: He’s been acting distant lately

Word count: 2.1k

Contains: Angst, hurt/comfort, cursing

A/N: This is a request from forever ago that I just now got an idea for. I may or may not have shed a few tears while writing it🥰 this is my first time writing angst in a romantic setting be nice please🙏

(Title is from Bratty B by Best Coast)

Tossing and turning never seemed to quell the pit of anxiety that was continuing to build little by little each night. Nor did it make the bed feel any less cold and empty as you laid in it.

It was easy enough for the first couple weeks to accept Alex’s behavior as apart of his job. Hell, you knew exactly what you were getting into when you married someone in the music industry. But as days and nights stretched by and you saw your husband less and less, something deep in you stirred. A sense of loneliness, maybe? Or perhaps it was insecurity, fear that he had gotten tired of you.

Either way, it kept your mind racing and your eyes wide open.

You sat up in bed, running a frustrated hand through your hair as you stared at the adjacent wall.

Your gaze turned to land on the phone resting atop the bedside table, charging.

Maybe he sent a text?

That sliver of hope escapes you as the phone screen lights up and displays nothing but the time, alongside a picture of you smiling as Alex pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You stare at the photo until the screen goes black, shrouding you in darkness once more.

Something aches in your chest as you glance at his side of the bed. The lack of him leaving you feeling cold.

But the feeling is quickly replaced by surprise as you hear the front door to the house open, the floorboards creaking under Alex’s familiar steps.

After a moment of contemplation, you find yourself quietly exiting the bedroom and making your way downstairs. You stop when you reach the bottom and see a very disheveled Alex.

His slight swaying indicates an air of inebriation, and his eyes convey a sort of mental exhaustion too heavy to hide.

“Love…?” You speak, breaking the settled silence like throwing something into still water.

His head immediately jerks up, surprise flickering across his features before being blanketed by a stoic expression. He turns away.

“You’re up late.” His voice is blank. It’s more of an observation or a statement rather than any sort of question.

The anxiety you feel is replaced by a sort of angry sadness. The two mixed together made for a nauseating combination.

“Where have you been?” You’re a little firm in your words, approaching to stand beside him. He smells of alcohol and doesn’t meet your eyes.

“Out. The studio session ran late.”

You feel your emotions bubble up at that. He didn’t even try to come up with something convincing.

“Don’t lie. You smell like alcohol, you’re swaying…” You cross your arms. “And I sincerely doubt that they would keep you until three in the morning, Alex.”

Alex clenched his jaw, his eyes finally turning to meet yours. What was found in them was unsettling. Ugly.

“Why are you so concerned about where I’ve been?” He snapped “I’m home. That’s the only thing that matters.”

You were taken aback for a moment before your frustration built.

“You have no right to talk to me like that. I’m just trying to figure out why the hell you’ve been coming home so late for the past couple weeks.”

Alex sneered, running a stressed hand through his already tousled hair. “God, can you leave me alone for five seconds??”

Your jaw clenched. “You’ve barely talked to me in days.”

“I know. It’s been bliss without your constant nagging.”

“What the hell is wrong with you?”

You shoot the question at him, your anger only growing.

Then, it was almost like something in him gave way as he sneered.

“Me? What’s wrong with me??” He laughed, but there was no humor or lightheartedness to be found as he turned to face you fully, pointing at your chest.

“You don’t know shit. All you do is cling to me every second of every fucking day, and you expect me to not want a little space???” He scoffed.

You can feel a small fracture in your chest as he berates you, your anger diminishing ever so slightly.

…have you really been too clingy?

You shrink into yourself a little, swallowing as you avert your gaze to the bouquet of flowers he had gotten you last month sporadically.

You put them in a vase on the kitchen counter, but now their once vibrant colors were pushed out to make way for the darker ones that came with death.

Alex continued to ramble on at you.

“I’m gone for one hour and I look on my phone to see a dozen missed calls from you. Can you not just fucking trust me for once? Is it really that hard?”

You feel your anger come back at full force when he says that, the rage bubbling up before you could suppress it.

“I’m just worried about you!” Your voice raises, and that’s what sets everything in motion.

“You’re treating me like a goddamn child!”

“Well maybe I wouldn’t if you weren’t acting like one!”

“Maybe if you stopped hovering over me I wouldn’t need to be so distant!”

The yelling between the two of you continued, only growing louder until Alex said something that made both of you stop.

“God, I can’t believe I married you!”

The room fell eerily silent after that.

Alex’s face was one of shock, as if he had only overheard the argument you were having rather than participated in it.

His words eventually processed, and you felt your heart drop. Your anger dissipated, leaving only a harsh pain in your chest.

Your fears weren’t supposed to come true. They were supposed to be silly, insignificant things that were only the result of insecurities or passing anxious thoughts.

The wedding ring on your finger suddenly felt like it weighed ten tons as you stared at each other.

The one who breaks the silence is Alex, stepping forward a little, reaching over but stopping just short, as if he were scared he’d get burned.

“Love, I didn’t mean…”

“It’s alright.” You murmur, swallowing. It was far from alright.

The tension was so thick it almost anchored time in its place.

You wanted to be anywhere but here, with Alex staring at him silently. Like he was begging for something.

“…I think I should get some sleep.” You don’t look at him. “I have to get up for work in the morning.”

————

Those were the last words you had spoken to him in the past several hours.

Alex was close to ripping his hair out because of his own stupidity, his mind and body filled with nothing but pure guilt as he thought about his words.

The look on your face was still fresh in his mind, plaguing him with a certain clarity he wish he could erase.

What was wrong with him?

The issue wasn’t you. It was never you. It never would be you.

His old habits had come back to haunt him after they wrapped up the tour. Right before this whole ordeal started.

The adrenaline had worn off, leaving Alex with nothing but a shell of himself.

A costume with nothing underneath.

The persona he projected to everyone else was something he’d grown used to. And yet it wasn’t him.

He hated himself for it.

Hated the fears and insecurities he harbored.

Hated that he didn’t feel like the man he was underneath all the leather and hair gel was enough.

Not for anyone.

And especially not for you.

Drinking was something he fell back on. He was too scared to admit to you this growing pit of emptiness he felt every time he looked in the mirror. Too scared of your reaction.

It hadn’t been his intention to push you away and shut you out, but he had done so regardless, inadvertently proving himself right.

You were too good for him.

But maybe this was the eye-opener he needed in order to mend the rift between the two of you. The little shove to make him realize that he was the one damaging things.

And that’s what led to the moment you were at now.

Work had been horrible that day, and it was even worse when the scene from the night before was replaying in your head on a constant loop.

But you weren’t expecting the smell of food to greet you as you walked in the door.

Only when you realized someone else might be in the house did you look up to see who it could’ve been.

Alex stood in the middle of the room, rather stiffly, holding a bouquet of your favorite flowers in one hand while the other held what looked like a vinyl record.

You close the door behind you and Alex’s throat bobbed as he swallowed.

You’re not sure what to say, and it’s silent until he tentatively makes his way to you, his footsteps the only sound.

He holds out the flowers to you as he stops and you take them after a small moment of hesitation.

He hands you the record as well. A special edition of your favorite album.

You look down at the gifts in your hands, your expression softening to an almost sad state. You look up to speak, but Alex beats you to it.

“I’m so sorry.” His voice is soft and gentle. A direct contrast to the anger it held last night.

He averts his eyes a little, gathering his words before looking back into your eyes.

“I know a few gifts isn’t going to make what I did or what I said go away, but…” he clenches his jaw in nervousness, but he does his best to look right at you as he speaks.

“None of those words I said last night were true. I was drunk, and angry at myself, and being a complete and utter asshole.”

“I didn’t mean to shut you out, or make it seem like I didn’t care about you. I just…”

Alex let out a shaky breath, finally letting his real feelings slip.

“I’m so afraid that I’m not enough.” He looked away finally, his voice wavering.

“That what’s underneath this rockstar persona I’ve created for myself isn’t what you want.”

“I’ve been avoiding you because I-…I’m so utterly terrified you’re going to get tired of me. Get bored of what I really am rather than the mask I wear on stage.”

He didn’t realize when tears started to pool in his waterline.

“I know I’m not good enough for you, but please know that I love you more than anything and…”

Alex trailed off, words stuck in his throat as his eyes fluttered. A few tears dripped from his lashes. He couldn’t bear to look at you.

The last thing he expected was for two warm hands to cup his face, thumbs wiping at his teary eyes.

There was silence. He didn’t dare look up.

“Alex.” Your voice was softer than it had ever been

“Look at me.”

He took a small breath, sniffling slightly as he finally gained the courage.

When his gaze met yours, he was sure he was going to be met with a look of disgust or hatred. Maybe even a laugh at the stupidity of his insecurities.

Instead, all he saw was gentle understanding.

You stroked his cheeks with your thumbs, the presents once in your hands now lying on the floor next to your feet.

You took a moment to gather your words, looking into the chocolate brown eyes you loved so much. The same ones that were now filled with tears and searching your own for some sort of answer to his confession.

You took a deep breath.

“Alex..” you tilted your head, holding his gaze.

“I fell in love with you.” Your voice was firm but still covered in a tenderness you could only ever muster when it came to him. “Not some silly costume you put on for a concert.”

“My Alex is the only one I’ll ever need, and he will always be enough.”

Alex’s heart ached as he let your words sink in.

Tears began to fall faster as the entire month’s worth of pent up emotion came spilling out.

Without another word, he pulled you into his arms tight, burying his face in your hair and holding you as if you’d suddenly disappear.

Somehow, you were willing to forgive him for hurting you. For saying awful things when you had done nothing but care for him.

Somehow, you seemed to love him for what he hid deep down. What he was afraid to show anyone else.

And somehow…

He believed every word you spoke.

[fxrmuladaydreams]

Hey!!

Could I request "My attention is always undivided for you" and "It's real this time. Not a fleeting love." With Oscar please??

!! oscar weekend requests are now closed !!

note: i only did the first one, i hope that’s okay

His job was demanding, of course you knew that going into this relationship. You knew he’d be off traveling the world, having to spend time away from you, but you knew he was following his dream, and you would never try to stop him from doing it.

You will admit, you were a little nervous at first that him being busy would drive a wedge in your relationship. You feared it would make you feel lonelier than you felt when you were single, that you may resent him for constantly leaving you.

That didn’t happen, thankfully. He always made sure to bring you to any races you could attend, and to keep in contact with you while he was away. You’ve spent many nights falling asleep while video chatting with each other, and waking up with the computer battery drained completely.

You cherished the time you got to spend together, whether that be at a grand prix or at home in between races. He always made sure to spend as much time with you as possible, taking you out on dates, or just staying in and watching a movie together.

You sit with him at your dining room table, two plates with scraps of food between you. You quietly admire him while he talks to you about his time in Japan. He tries not to talk too much about racing while with you, never wanting you to feel overshadowed by his career. Instead he talks about all the food he ate and the beautiful cherry blossom trees that were blooming.

You love the way his smile reaches his eyes when he talks about what he enjoyed. You see a little bit of hair has fallen into his face as he’s talking, the brown waves almost always unkempt. You reach out to softly brush it back.

He can feel himself blush as your fingers run through his hair. He quickly tries to shake the flush from his face away, giving you a soft smile.

“So, what happened here while I was gone?”

You hum. “Not much, just after you left I-”

Your words are cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. You look down at where it rests on the table to see Lando’s name and photo, letting you know he’s the one calling.

“Aren’t you going to answer that?” You ask him.

He makes a face then picks his phone up off the table, presses a few buttons then puts it back down.

“There, airplane mode. You were saying?”

“Don’t you think you should call him back? What if it was important?” You look down at the phone.

“Nothing is more important to me than this right here. My attention is always undivided for you.” He reaches out and takes your hand in his, lifting it up to press a soft kiss to it. “Now please tell me what I missed while I was away.”

[the-last-f2p]

Yandere promts day 13

13."You want to know why you’re not allowed to leave? it’s for your safety”

Featuring: The astral express trio!~

TW: Stalking, March is very touchy and you don't like it, implied kidnapping and chains

Ever since you officially joined the Nameless, things have gone downhill. Of course you didn't assume the path of the trailblaze was going to be all sunshine and rainbows ,despite what March may protray it as, but whenever you were out with this semi-chaotic trio it seemed that there was something you weren't understanding.

A goal you didn't share perhaps?

Though that's a little bit too outlandish. Maybe if you started attending the 'Y/N protection team' meetings that are held every week after you've gone to sleep you'd be more in the know?

Of course you didn't have the time to think too hard about that with March glued to your side taking a bit too many photos at once to just be for the memories. And Stelle just silently listening to your conversations and trying to remember the names of those she deemed had wronged you. (Whatever that meant)

You think Dan Heng is never near you though, if you turn around and look for long enough you'll find him trailing a couple of feet behind you....

Stop thinking go to sleep. You try to keep that one mantra flowing through your head but, the pair of golden eyes watching you is making it extremely harder then it should be. And the pink and blue eyes and the just plain blue ones.

COULD THEY JUST STOP WATCHING YOU??

That's it. Tommorow you're leaving. For fucking ever, you fear if you don't they will do something to you. What it is is unkown to you.

"What do you mean you're leaving?!" March 7th screamed at you, shocked. You're one of the three pillars holding up her life! Alongside photography and food.

"That's riddiculous," Dan Heng added on not even looking up from the paper he was reading, which was probably a bill to replace all the glass things Stelle broke in the past week.

"But like why?" Stelle asks, though she's one of the more quiet she's also one of the least reasonable.

"I just.. Think it's best for us to part ways." You say awkwardly you don't really want to talk with them more than you had to.

"You're not leaving." Dan Heng stated matter of factly. God damn do you find them all difficult.

"Huh, what.? Why?" You meant it as some form of rhetorical question or something smart but it indirectly sounded genuine.

"You want to know why you’re not allowed to leave?" Stelle repeats etching closer to you.

"It’s for your safety!” March throws an arm around your shoulder and smiles.

And then you felt something hit your head with a shit ton of force.. It'll be okay the trio just thinks that you need to re-think your decision, with chains.

[nightmare-dreamt]

Hello!! May I request a monster high x Fem!reader, who's a new student. She ran into some students, and she looks like a human, so everyone thought she was a normie, but she turns out to be a monster with powers. She can turn into a human form or a monster form, so shes still the same person, but she can change her looks, she can change her looks to a human or her monster form.

But she's also

🥀DROP

💋DEAD

❤️‍🔥GORGEOUS

When everyone though she was a normie some actually though she was the best looking normie they've seen before, but obviously chosenot to say and wouldn't admit it. But when they found out she was a monster, (half monster half normie) when she turns into her monster form she's even more beautiful🥹💕

Everyone's jaw would probably drop🤭

Monster high x beautiful half normie and half monster Fem!reader.

Can it be a oneshot please?🥺 If you want it to be a headcannon or something, that's also fine, but can you also include the characters such as the Frankie and the ghouls, and the guys too, like heath, Holt and etc in the oneshot/headcanon.

Sorry this looks long, it's probably cause of how much I wrote-

Anyways thanks and have a good day/night!!

Monster High Request:

Frankie:

Human Form: When the two of you first met, it was when you and your human friends were trying to save their monster friend Holt. The two of you got along really well and shared similar ideas when it came to saving their friend.

When her eyes landed on your form, her heart stopped unlike the way it usually does and now butterflies were in her stomach making her feet heavier than before. You were like a god/goddess in her eyes and she didn't know what to do. When you felt eyes on your back, you turned meeting her gaze which led to her blushing profusely and popping her hand off to cover her face.

Monster Form: You tried your hardest to hide your monster form, afraid of what everyone might have thought but it was bound to be revealed sooner or later. You slipped up one day when transforming late at night and assuming everyone was sleeping, but a photo was taken and soon spreaded around about your true identity.

When she saw the picture a clear confusion was on their face, but then admiration and adoration took over and their heart began beating faster. Frankle thinks both of your forms are super cool and they're fine with you being in either one. They make sure to help figure out who took your picture and spreaded it, refusing to stand this hatred against you and your monster identity.

Draculaura:

Human Form: You met the vampire from Frankie who introduced you to their friends wanting all of you to get along and become great friends as well. At first, you were afraid, never having met a vampire before, but when you got to know the pink vampire your fear faded away. You got along with her well and always had sleepovers together, laughing and enjoying your time with each other.

It was hard for her since she thought her feelings were for Clawd, but when the two of you began hanging out more and more new found feelings began to form. She's gone through the pros and cons of dating both of you, but everything seemed evened out besides the fact that you're a human…

Monster form: She saw the photo and didn't believe it, unsure if the photo was even real, totally believing that you were full human without a single scent of monster in you. Her skin grew darker with a blush when seeing your gorgeous looks on your monster form as well making her choice now even more difficult.

Clawdeen:

Human Form: When the two of you met, it was strange. The two of you didn't talk much besides when one of the others were around and helped start the conversations. The two of you were basically mutals that had the same friends.

You weren't that close with her until the group went to Paris and she had you model one of her outfits. In the moment, when she saw your form in one of her outsides shining in the moonlight, her mind went blank with only you in her thoughts. She couldn't help but think how good you looked with the moon shining onto your skin and the outfit that fit your body perfectly, hitting everything correctly just like how she had planned.

Monster Form: When her eyes landed on the picture, the same thing from Paris occurred with your mind going blank and only you in her thoughts. She then felt anger knowing someone took your picture without your permission and revealed your secret that was clearly hidden for a reason. She was quick to come and comfort you making sure that everything was alright. (She won't admit it, but she also went to see your monster form in person and you looked even more exquisite in person)

Clawd:

Human Form: You met the werewolf from his sister and his crush, which wasn't a great idea because now he was facing one of the greatest choices of his life. For the past month, he's been seeing Draculaura, but when you showed up his heart and mind haven't been the same and he liked it. His feelings for the vampire were still there but he now also had feelings for you as well.

Monster Form: You had shown him and when you did his eyes widened instantly seeing your glowing complexion and soon the air felt like it was taken out of him. You made him nervous and he didn't know what to do, making things even worse for his relationship as you also started getting closer with the vampire. He knew deep down that he had to do the right thing, but something else held him down.

Holt:

Human Form: You met him when trying to save his counterpart from the other humans who thought all monsters were bad, which wasn't true at all. You were shocked when seeing him going through the same thing you were. When attending monster high, the first thing you did was look for him and show him your form wanting to show him that having two sides wasn't always bad.

Monster Form: When he saw that you were just like him, his heart fluttered knowing he wasn't alone in this world of being human and monster. You became great friends with him spending most of your time at monster high with him talking about the strange things the two of you have done with your abilities. When news about your transromation became known, he stood up for you making sure no one treated you the way they treated him for being human and monster.

-

A/n - Sorry I couldn't do all of the characters. this was already over two pages and would have been more. If you want I can do a part 2 with more characters :)

[sharpth1ng]

Since the photo of the pope on Stu’s fridge has been discovered I’ve seen a lot of takes about how Stu would definitely have religious guilt and would have more issues with his feelings for Billy. I want to be clear I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that take, it’s definitely something to explore if it interests you but it also flattens the breadth of responses to a religious upbringing and religious trauma. There are so many ways a person might respond to that kind of experience and it doesn’t just stop with internalized guilt.

What about the people who just kind of never fall in line? They’re punished for it over and over but it doesn’t make the religion make sense to them. And maybe they learn over time hide their disbelief, they learn to be quiet at church and hide their same sex partners but the moment they’re 18 they are gone.

What about the people who believed when they were young and have had an experience to change that? Maybe they saw religion used to justify the mistreatment of a sibling or a friend, and they thought “if there is a god, they wouldn’t think this is right”.

What about the ones that swing hard in the opposite direction? The ones so angry with the beliefs instilled in them that they do almost anything they can to enrage their religious family? They may not even be doing this intentionally, but teenage rebellion is teenage rebellion, and if your family is catholic then Catholicism might be what you rebel against. What better way to rebel against the anti gay religion than to kiss another boy? Do you know how many queer pagans and Satanists I know who have a history of religious trauma?

Have you ever felt so mistreated by someone or something, so deeply wronged, that almost anything they disapprove of becomes enticing? I definitely have.

And here’s the thing with Stu, he might have a religious family but he sure does talk about sex a lot. Unabashedly too. He spends the night at his girlfriends house, and she confirms that they have sex. He fills his house with people, feeds them booze, and kills a bunch of them. This isn’t giving me the picture of a fearful catholic son.

Before I saw the pope picture I had already been writing Stu’s family as conservative and religious. He definitely grew up with the idea that sex is a sin and gay sex is even worse. But he’s not a guy that likes authority. He likes sensory pleasure and chaos, and at least some of that is a rejection of his upbringing. Dude watches slasher movies and raunchy comedies like clerks. He fucks and he talks openly about it. He gets drunk and he directs his best friend to go take his girlfriends virginity in his parents bed.

He’s rebelling.

To me? Yeah he might have been the kind of kid who had religious fears and guilts when he was younger. He’s definitely been baptized and his family probably still makes him go to church sometimes. But he’s not isolated. It’s the mid 90s and he has access to more media than kids did ever before. He’s had access to alternative view points, narratives that contradict the ones instilled in him when he was young.

And the 90s are a time characterized by a loud rejection of convention. Grunge rocker Kurt Cobain wears dresses, the riot grrl movement is in full swing, and people are getting really into modern forms of paganism. It’s popular to reject your parents beliefs.

There’s an interview with Neve Campbell where she talks about how she thinks Billy and Stu were partly motivated by the rage of being unable to be themselves in Woodsboro and I think that works really well here. What better what to say a fuck you to your religious parents than to have buttsex with a pretty dude and kill a bunch of people?

Again, this is just the way I see the character. There’s nothing wrong with different interpretations and fandom would be boring if we all saw these characters in the exact same way. But yeah just an alternative way to look at it.

[psychelis-new]

pick a pile: "Love guidance"

[TW: PILES MAY HIDE TRIGGERS FOR SOME OF YOU, ONLY READ IF YOU'RE IN A GOOD PLACE AND FEEL IT'S FINE TO]

take a breath and choose the photo or number that calls you the most to read some suggestions or infos on what is about to come in your love life or what you may still need to heal in order to receive your love blessings and dreams. for singles, taken and into situationships (adapt to your case).

don’t take the reading too seriously. only take what resonates with you and leave the rest. if you're not called by any pile, let this reading slid as it may not hold messages for you. if you're called by more than one pile, there may be messages in each of those piles. remember that is a general reading and some things may not resonate with you. energies can change and readings are based on present ones (as you read); you're always in charge of your life and of your decisions.

(photos found on unsplash)

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pile 1

I think most of you may already be in a relationship or something. Lot of plans about the future, lot of imagining how things will be and turn out (okay, some of you may just love to daydream about love). But there's a need to talk about things. You may tend to always look at the best side, the half filled glass, but it's not that the empty side doesn't exist. You probably need to be more grounded when it comes to love, a bit more practical. I didn't want to write it at first but now that I see the reason behind hearing it after one line, and well... you seem a bit naive at times, or tend to avoid (for any trigger) to see the negative part. This is something that, especially on the long run, may turn out to be toxic and make you unaware of what is really going on inside of you and the relationship itself. It feels like you dream about the perfect relationship, the one we find in movies and books and imagine it will be easily so with the right person... tbh, in reality, it's not so easy to realize. You need to put in effort, you need to find compromises, you need to realize also what is going wrong with the other, you need to stop and sit and talk things out. Problems never solve on their own, nor the other person can always read your mind (and probably you cannot always read theirs correctly either... and that's normal). Maybe you think your friends or people you apparently know, seem to have a perfect relationship (whatever you consider it to be) but honestly, you don't really know what goes on behind closed doors. What is the effort they put in to keep it all together. Sure, some relationships may have less bumps than others, as if they were written in the stars, but it's not that they have no problems ever. Especially if the people involved isn't entirely healed or willing to talk things out without wearing any mask. So yeah, your suggestion is to try and be a bit more grounded and realistic, to look inside and try to check what are the things you may be able to compromise on and what not (it's okay if you don't want to back up on specific subjects, stand your ground always and don't fear the other leaving you -if they do, it wasn't your person after all), and find ways to really balance this dream relationship with some more practicality. Your relationship is a good one (if you're in one), but again, do not pretend things are better than how they feel inside of you. Sometimes we need to build love with our hands, decide to keep it and choose it everyday (even on bad days), and to work together towards a common goal. It just doesn't always fall on us and stay perfect and immaculated forever with no effort from our side.

If your problem is the opposite, i.e. that you worry about the negative side of your relationship more than the positive, please again, talk things out with your person. You are a team now, you work together and you can work things out. It's not all on you as it's not all on them. Joys are doubled and problems are divided by two. You can reach your dream relationship, but again, have no fear of ruining things by talking and speaking your truth and worries. You're in a team for a reason, which is to not have to deal with stuff alone but to have someone you trust and that supports you by your side. And even if you're not a team yet, try to not focus on what may go wrong, but enjoy the process a bit more and be positive.

song: true love | soja

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pile 2

I think you may have undergone some kind of trauma related to love. It could be from a toxic environment you were in while growing up or a past love/friendship that didn't end too well. I think you may now still be (even just unconsciously) be a bit closed off to love, scared of commitment or of intimacy (emotional and physical) or just feel not good enough to receive love, to be loved as you'd like to. There's a blockage about receiving, no matter how hard you actually in your heart you need and want to feel loved and are searching for love. You unconscious mind is sending you signals that are telling you "It's not safe" and keeping you in this same but known and safe mold (I'm channeling the song "Churches and Serial Killers" by Emery atm and I think it's so perfect cause it talks about different problems y'all may have. It may be triggering for some so only check the lyrics if you want/feel like). I think you may not have had a safe place for yourself, people used to invade your space, like enter your room with no permission: you ended up having no privacy of sort, no freedom, as if you were not to be trusted or "unable" to do things on your own, and this made you realize you are basically not allowed to have what others have cause you miss something compared to them. I'm so sorry pile 2, control issues from others are hard to deal with, but it wasn't on you. It's their triggers moving onto you (which ofc, doesn't make it any better for you at the end of the day... just do not feel guilty, please: you have no reason to. You are very trustable and enough, very enough, to have what any other person has and even more). You also may fear not being enough to be loved back, you may compare to others again and feel like they're better. You may even try to find compromises or be okay with "easy" loves. But it's probably all caused by this pain you bring inside of you, very likely a childhood/teen pain (not necessarily, again: it may just be a past toxic relationship). I can se you cry pile 2 and I am so sorry. Again, please, be aware you have nothing wrong in you. Talk and stand your ground, let your needs be heard and met by everyone around you and create boundaries to save your own personal space. You can do that, it's not too late. And you can be loved as you want, if not by your closest ones, by the people that is coming in for you and for you alone. Look inside, be kind with yourself and give to yourself first. It's time to do this. Learn what it is that is blocking you and the reasons behind this blockage (if you cannot do it alone, ask for help and support). What it is that is sending you off track, somehow. Appreciate all you are really, not what another one's trigger wants you to be. Validate yourself. Let love in, and be demanding too (you can! Do not settle for easy things). I think for some a loving message from your Guides (or maybe a potential love interest for a few) is coming in soon. Let them help you. If you need to take a pause, just do that. Follow your guts, you will get out of this and find your people and special person (if you want romantic love too).

song: churches and serial killers | emery; so sick | ne-yo (it's funny cause while preparing the page for the reading, I had written "songs" for your pile and in the end I channeled a song for you as for everyone else but you also had the other popping up in your reading... lucky ones, heh)

- ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ - ’ -

pile 3

Pile 3 is there something you are avoiding to think about or realize? I don't know why but I really cannot find a way to read you. It feels like you're hiding something... Love feels like light, like enlightment, like hope... but, you always turn it outside probably. What about you? I think it's time to heal your heart first. I don't know there's something I cannot quite get with you... maybe you can't either. Confusion, darkness... You have so many dreams involving love, not just with your partner (current or future), but also different types of love. But something is hindering you from realizing you deserve to get it back too. Be brave, what is blocking you? There is something inside probably that doesn't let you see the light, that doesn't let you experience fully the love you feel and want to give away, and the love you want to receive. It may be self worth. Start to look at things from a different point of view. Why do you feel you are not worthy? What makes you feel so? Is it something that happened with someone or maybe when you were little? Stop for a moment. Loves feels far from you atm, someting you are afraid you won't experience so easily or at all. Is it so? Darling, this is not true. Maybe you got turned down too many times, maybe you felt like giving away too much and receiving not enough... maybe there are a lot of past experiences that made you feel like this, so unworthy. But you're not unworthy. I think you are just tired atm. You need to give yourself a break, and start loving yourself first. Go out, enjoy the nature, go for a walk, listen to the birds singing, bask in the sun... just do anything you want to remind yourself of your worth. Appreciate yourself. Just get away from the problem for a while. I'm not saying to pretend it doesn't exist, but to give yourself a break, to find your balance again, to regain control over your emotions. Sometimes moving our focus on something else helps us clearing our mind, so when we're back on a problem, we can look at it with more clarity. So try to cure your own heart. Give love to yourself now. And learn how you want to be loved. How you need to be loved. Love will come in your life, you won't be staying alone for all your life. It will come the moment you'll be ready for it, you'll be feeling good enough to not push it away, not even involuntarily. The moment you won't sabotage yourself and your dream type love. Love is not far, love is inside of you. Go back to it. And it'll reach you from the outside too. Sooner than you think. But now, give yourself a break and go easy on you. Your message is pretty direct here: take some time for yourself, to realize your worth and lovability, and then go after your dreams. And be bold in your dreams. My solar plexus is hurting: if it's a problem about being seen and judged by others, about self worth/self esteem (as mentioned) please, realize that people don't judge you. They just judge themselves through you most of the times or judge you in fear of being judged themselves. You're just a trigger, or someone to be envied. It's their problem, not yours. Find yourself and be yourself [ps. some of you: your lover is waiting to meet you, but please first focus on you to get ready].

song: the 7th sense | ntc, ntc u

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pile 4

Patience. Meditate and breathe. These are the first messages for you. I think you want a love that is stable and pure, that is growing and feels like home. Something that is calm and not stormy, despite you don't disdain passion. But that's not the storm we're talking about: I think you've been through a lot emotionally and now you want some peace of mind, a safe place, a home. Something to count on and long lasting. I think you may need to take a pause indeed. I kinda had to stop your reading in order to clear my mind and it's something I don't like doing cause it takes me away from your energy and I need to get back to it again. Maybe that's a sign that you too sometimes feel disconnected from yourself and need to find your way back to yourself. Maybe right now your heart is filled with doubts and insecurities, pain too. But trust me that clarity will hit you at the right moment. What you're going through now is only a test, something to check how ready you actually are for what you actually want and need. Your Guides are very protective of you (and probably of what's in store for you too). Trust them and their guidance. And don't be scared to talk with them or ask them to send you signals, they're willing to help you anytime you need. They're there for you. I think you still have problems in finding your way out from your issues and insecurities, your way out of your own mind. You have buildt this cage and it keeps you in, it kinda self sabotages you into not seeing how close you are to what you actually want, how deserving you are. Fears are blocking your happiness. Honestly it can be different types of fears, related to you or your self worth, but in a different way than it was for pile 2. You close off from yourself too. From who you are and how you feel. You cage yourself in and don't want others to be in, cause you're scared of having judged your feelings wrong or of not being loved or... Idk, I'm just very tired with you. It's a very heavy energy. What is going on, dear? Are you scared of your own feelings? Of not being able to properly name them or feeling them correctly? Of realizing that what you want, the love you want, isn't actually the love you deserve or that you cannot get it from the person you want? Okay, darling, breathe a minute and follow me. If any of these resonate, I want you to stop, calm down and answer these other questions: would it be a problem? And why? Again, stay calm. Do not panic. There's nothing to worry about. Not even finding out the answers to these questions: it's not something you should worry cause you're only trying to know yourself and you can talk with yourself at any time, also through your fears and triggers, as a best friend would with you. We're also talking about future things, very likely (for most of you at least). I think you are letting yourself wonder into stuff that is not yet here (and that you cannot very much directly control). Take it day by day, focus on your dreams and desires. If something is supposed to happen, it will. Do not rush things, do not fear running out of time. You've got plenty. Take a breath, darling. You don't have to make decisions now. It will come that day, but you can take your time and do not stress about it now. Focus on healing your fears, on being with you, present in yourself and get out of your cage sometimes. It's okay. It's all good. Focus on the now to make your future. Baby steps before flying away.

song: the silence | manchester orchestra

[queer-codedhero]

Tips to Support an Autistic Little!! 🧸🍼

as an caregiver of a little with autism and hyper sensitivity here are some things I have learned to support them for anyone who maybe a new caregiver or just want tips for your autistic baby 💕☁️

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

Always remember your littles special interests! My little has a special interest of snakes! I love to buy them snake stuffies in order to make them happy and encourage them. I also send photos of snakes when saying hi or the help them be happy during hard times. If your little has a special interest to a TV show I recommend watching it (or some of it) in order to make references or do impressions of the characters. I attempt to remember facts about their interests. If they know them I can get excited to hear them talk about their favorite snakes! I recommend trying to understand their interest in order to support their interests 💕🐍

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

2. A lot of autistic littles may not enjoy dress up like other littles! Always try to find clothes they feel comfortable in. My little doesn’t like clothes with multiple textures and loves pjs! I always ask if they’d prefer to change into a onesie rather than their day outfit even if they like it. I also cut off the tags on my littles clothes to insure that it doesn’t bother her skin. After bathes I recommend asking your little if they’d like you to warm up their towel and clothes so they are warm a safe putting them on 🎀💕

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

3. when you go out in public a little may feel nervous and not like noises. Remember their brain feels small and they’re a lot of stimulation. Many littles love theme parks like Disney but autistic littles may find big places more stressful than fun. I have found that littles love going on adventures away from the noise and stress! Always offer your little to hold your hand if they may feel overwhelmed or are in public areas. Attempt to find quiet alternative to fun activities like a picnic in a flower field rather than a park. Always give your little comfort in knowing if they are over stimulated you are ok with finding something better suited for them.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

4. Encouraging stimming! When your little stims it allows them to regulate their emotions and body. Stimming takes many form and you should always allow your little to stim without fear of judgement. Stims can be verbal, tactile, oral and so much more! Some littles benefit from fidget toys when stimming others jump and flap their hands. Try to recognize the stims that they do when happy vs upset. If a little flaps their arms when playing that is a positive stim however if they flap their arms when someone is loud or yelling that is negative! Unsure they are safe to stim negative and positive but always try to communicate if their are negative stims!

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

5. Littles with autism will likely have self destructive tendencies. Whether they are or are not intentional depend on the little. These behaviors should never be met with aggression or “the silent treatment” punishing a little (or anyone for that matter) is a boarder-line abusive attitude. These behaviors are not “attention seeking” these behaviors are often uncontrollable, scary and painful. When a little tells you or show you any injury from these behaviors, immediately check the severity. Often times you will be able to clean and care for it without a doctor, however in rare cases you will need professional help. If you find that their wound is too deep and is bleeding none stop go to an ER for help. If this is not a case. Comfort the little and don’t pry for information and instead tell them you care for them and that this is scary for you as well. Tell them you are happy they came to you so you can help and encourage them to tell you next time they feel this way. Ask your little if they cleaned it then show them how to clean it. Then bandage or put a bandaid on it. (Unless the cut in moist or bleeding, in this case give it air) Give your little more care until they feel better! Always give them cuddles (if they like) and give them all your care and help. Avoid using words that may trigger them such as self harm or injury. Instead use boo-boo or no-no spot. Also attempt to give your little none dangerous activities to help their need for these repetitive and dangerous activities. Try to find artistic expression such as drawing injuries or cutting paper. If your little finds cutting paper helpful perhaps add red paper underneath. If your little needs a way to feel the same pain you can try ice or rubber band snapping. To represent the feeling of having marks on them they can be offered to draw on themselves with markers. If the act of scratching or biting is uncontrollable, offer them a paci or teether. You can also use bandages to cover the areas they may harm to protect their skin. It may help to hold their hands to avoid scratching when stressed.

＊*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚　　˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊

-ˏ͛⑅　‧̥̥͙‧̥̥ ̥ ̮ ̥ ⊹ ‧̫‧ ⊹ ̥ ̮ ̥ ‧̥̥‧̥̥͙　⑅ˏ͛-

[canirove]

Friends, lovers… and an orange | Chapter 9

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Masterlist

"Morning, Adele."

"Good morning, Jacob" she said as walked into the kitchen.

"Did you sleep well?"

"I actually did, yes. You?"

"I slept alone, so I did not sleep as well as you did" he sighed. "Morning, Mason."

"Morning, guys" he yawned.

"Good morning, Mase" Adele smiled as he sat down next to her and poured himself some coffee. 

"Why are you laughing?"

"Me? I'm not laughing, bro" Jacob said. 

"You are laughing."

"I… Ok, I am. But it's just that… Guys, you don't have to pretend in front of me."

"Pretend what?" Adele asked.

"That you didn't shag last night" Jacob chuckled.

"That we did what?" she said, Mason almost choking with his coffee.

"Oh, c'mon. I saw you go upstairs together, neither of you came back to the party, you Adele stayed for the night, and today you've woken up at the same time."

"I stayed because of Jourdan" she said.

"And waking up at the same time is just a coincidence" Mason added.

"Sure, bro. Sure" Jacob laughed. "But I also saw the photos."

"The photos? What photos?" Adele asked.

"The ones of you two making out on the balcony. They look steamy even if it was dark."

"There are… photos?"

"Yep. Look" Jacob said, showing them his phone.

"You gotta be kidding me" Adele muttered as she scrolled down. The photos were blurry due to the darkness and the distance, but you could see it was them. And if you didn't know what was really happening, it definitely looked like they were kissing, her hand cupping Mason's face, his forehead resting on hers. And then when they had sat down on a big chair to just talk about whatever crossed their minds, cuddling to not get too cold, it also looked as if they had kept kissing. 

"I can't believe it. I can't fucking believe it!" Mason said, standing up and starting to pace around the kitchen.

"How… How did they manage to get these photos? We were at the back of the house, you can't see that from the street" Adele said, checking them again.

"The neighbours' house."

"Isn't that empty?" Jacob asked.

"It is. But I guess they rented it for the night or something. Fuck!" Mason said, running his hands through his hair and making Adele fear he may try and pull it out. "They invaded my privacy. Our privacy. I can't fucking believe they went that far just to get some blurry photos!"

"Mase…" Adele said, also getting up from her chair. "It's ok, relax."

"No, it isn't ok, Addie. They were already crossing many lines when they were following us everywhere and harassing you, but this? This?"

"Mase, it's ok" she repeated, taking a step closer to where he was standing.

"It isn't, Adele! We should feel and be safe in our homes, and we can't anymore. We can't!" he cried.

"Oh, Mase" she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck and hugged him.  

"We aren't safe anymore. You aren't" he sobbed on her shoulder, hugging her back. 

"It's ok" she whispered while caressing the back of his head and trying to comfort him.

"I… I think I'll leave you two alone" Jacob said behind them.

"It's ok, Mase. Let it all out" Adele whispered again, Mason's body shaking against hers while he cried. She had never seen him like this, so angry and sad at the same time. So vulnerable. 

"I'm sorry, Addie" he said after a while.

"What for? This is just water, it'll dry" she chuckled, looking at her shoulder.

"That too" he said with a little smile. "But I'm sorry about getting you into this mess."

"You seriously need to stop apologizing for that."

"It is the truth, tho…"

"Shh" she said, putting a finger on his lips and then quickly moving it away, the sensation of having them on her skin making her feel something she couldn't quite understand. "Anyway, why don't we go get ourselves some breakfast, uh? Maybe some chocolate donuts?" 

"I'm sure there are even more paparazzis than last night waiting for us outside. Leaving the house will be almost impossible" Mason sighed. 

"Maybe we can help" Jourdan said, making both Adele and Mason jump. "Sorry" she smiled. "But I think I know how you can leave the house and not have the paps following you."

━━━━━━❃━━━━━━

"Best donuts ever" Mason said, giving one a huge bite.

"Best donuts ever" Adele smiled. "I still can't believe Jourdan's plan worked, tho."

"Neither do I, to be honest. Faking to be us? Amazing" he chuckled. 

That had been her brilliant idea. She and Mason's friend, the one she had spent the night with, would leave the house in Mason's car. He would wear a hat so no one could properly see his face, and Jourdan would also cover hers, acting as if they were Mason and Adele trying to go unnoticed and not give the paparazzis the photos they wanted. Then the real Mason and Adele would be leaving the house in his friend's car a couple of minutes later, going in the opposite direction and hoping that the photographers would not pay too much attention to them since they would be thinking they had already left.

"What matters is that it worked and that we've been able to have a nice and quiet breakfast."

"Yeah. Cheers to them" Mason said, lifting what was left of his donut before eating it, making Adele laugh.

"Is that your mum?" she asked when his phone pinged. They had called her and Elizabeth to ask for advice regarding the photos, and they had promised to call back after talking with some people they knew.

"I wish" he sighed.

"Your agency, then?"

"Yeah" he said as his phone pinged again.

"Shouldn't you reply? Check what they want?"

"I know what they want. But there is nothing I can do about it."

"Why?"

"Because it's about the Valentine's Day campaign, Addie. Today is the last day to send the photos, and I still haven't sent them yours."

"Oh… I see" she said, playing with her coffee cup. "Which brand did you say it was for?"

"The one that has you looking at me in just my underwear wherever you go" Mason chuckled.

"I still have nightmares with those photos" she teased him. "Will you lose the contract with them if you don't send them the photo?"

"It's very likely, yes."

"Then send them one."

"What?"

"Send them a photo with me. The one Alex took of us this Christmas, for example" Adele said.

It was Christmas morning and they all were wearing their matching pyjamas, a tradition Toni and Elizabeth had started when they were two young models who would spend the holidays away from their families. Adele's dad had told a really bad joke, and both her and Mason were laughing, him grabbing her arm and resting his head on her shoulder like he always did when he laughed. It was a candid photo, and it had become one of her favourites of them together. Sharing it and having everyone seeing it felt odd, but she couldn't stand seeing Mason look so miserable or having him lose an important contract because of her. 

"Addie… are you sure?" 

"I am. 100%. Send it to them."

"What made you change your mind?" he asked while scrolling on his phone to find the photo.

"Uh?"

"I'm pretty sure that twenty four hours ago you would have said no if I had asked again. Was it because you found out about the brand it was for?" he smirked as he lifted his eyes from his phone. 

"I don't know what you mean."

"I think you've changed your mind because you don't want to miss seeing me in my underwear every time you are out and about and see a bus" Mason said, his smirk getting bigger.

"Whatever" Adele replied, crossing her arms over her chest.

"Addie, you are blushing."

"Shut up!" 

"Your face is so red…" he laughed.

"If you keep making fun of me, I'll say no to sending the photo."

"Ok, ok. I'm sorry" he said as he went back to his phone, the smirk still on his face. "But if you want to see me in my underwear, you just have to ask."

"Mason!" Adele said, now definitely feeling her cheeks on fire.

"It was just a joke, relax" he laughed. Though there was something on the way he had looked at her when he had said it, that made her not believe him. At least not completely. "Thank you for this, Addie. It means a lot."

"I know, that's why I'm doing it. So don't ruin it, ok?"

"Ok" Mason smiled, that dimple of his showing and making Adele blush a bit more, her stomach doing something funny. Though it probably was just that she had eaten too many donuts, right? Nothing else.

[loveephia]

some of the HQ boys with a girlfriend that's afraid of heights. (kuroo, oikawa, iwaizumi, and hinata.)

background: you and him went to shibuya tower for a date, and once you reached the 45th floor, you started to cry due to the view above tokyo. unbeknownst to him, the one that set up the date, you were deathly afraid of heights.

content: (🦷) tooth-rotting fluff, a sprinkle of angst, them comforting you, kuroo is.. kuroo, mini plot twist in oikawa's, knight-in-shining-armor iwaizumi, can be imagined in timeskip, you and hinata are very cute, based off of real-life events.

⚠ warning/s: reader has a panic attack.

KUROO TETSURŌ

on the elevator up the tower, he goes to you and is all like, "you sure you aren't scared?" with his taunting lil smirk because bro can see right through you

you give him a nod and put on your bravest face

you get off the elevator and everything is going well!!

ti'll you see the windows surrounding you with tokyo's city lights below.

the closer you step to the windows, the more you start to feel uneasy, your breathing shortening every second

you can't help but tear up from the panic

kuroo sees this and hushes you, pressing your face against his chest so that you don't have to see anymore of the view through the windows

"see? i knew you weren't okay with this." kuroo mumbles, patting your head gently to calm you down

you explain that you didn't want to let him down on your date because of your irrational fear

he reassures you that it's not irrational and you both make a mental note to communicate properly next time

"let's go to gift shop. there might be some cute plushies that you'd like." he winks at you, and you nod happily

TŌRU OIKAWA

due to popular belief, this bastard is scared with you.

BRO'S WHINING TO GET OFF THE ELEVATOR AS SOON AS IT STOPS

now it's you that has to calm him down.

"didn't he set up this date..?" you thought

once he gets used to it, he asks you to take pictures of him

and damn it does he look good in every angle.

the pictures are a bit shaky because though he's alright now, you still aren't

"y/n, y/n! let's go to that photo booth over there!" he exclaims enthusiastically, as if he wasn't just absolutely terrified a few minutes ago

you're here trying not to cry while this dumbass is prancing around, enjoying his time here

he notices your stumbling figure, your head hung low, and a gloomy aura from you overall

he asks what's wrong, and you look up at him with tears threatening to fall from the corner of your pretty eyes

his face morphs to one of shock as he pulls you in for a comforting and warm hug

"i'm sorry, y/n.. i didn't know that you were scared of heights." he apologizes, and you can feel the sincerity in his tone as he rubs the back of your hand reassuringly

it's safe to say that you both got down from the tower and vowed never to go there again.

IWAIZUMI HAJIME

he already knew at some point that you had a fear of heights

the way your face showed a tiny hint of distress when he said that you'd be going to shibuya tower was his "i knew it." moment

as expected, you're crouching around uncomfortably, trying to avoid looking at the windows

iwaizumi finds it a bit cute at first

but he realizes it's serious when he sees your glassy eyes

protective mode: ON.

he lets you ring an arm around his bicep (which he may have flexed) and hide your face into his shoulder

GOSH HE FEELS LIKE YOUR KNIGHT IN SHINING ARMOR RN

"don't be scared, i'm here." he says

EHKEDHSKDHSKSH THAT GAVE YOU BUTTERFLIES

YOU ALMOST FORGOT ABOUT THE FACT THAT YOU'RE HUNDRES OF METERS UP IN THE AIR BECAUSE OF IWAIZUMI'S CHARMING-NESS (????)

SHŌYŌ HINATA

bro's always talking about how he wants to fly, but when he's up a few hundred meters, suddenly his legs are jelly.

LIKE.

PICK A STRUGGLE. WE CAN'T BOTH BE WIMPS⁉️⁉️

so here you both are, clutching onto each other for dear life, trying to find places to take pictures at

hinata's trying to make this date fun by shifting his attention to something oTHER THAN THE VIEW BELOW.

but one look at your troubled face, and he opts to get you on the ground as soon as possible

once you're both finally down from shibuya tower, you burry yourself into hinata's shoulder and mumble, "can we never do that again?"

hinata smiles gleefully, seeing you in a lighter mood than before, "yeah, never again."

"promise?" you hold out your pinky finger

and hinata links his with yours, "promise!"

© lowercase intended | loveephia

[shiningmystic]

What makes YOU beautiful! PAC

I hope life has been treating you all well enough. The song from one direction popped into my head when I sat down and asked spirit what I should pull. This wasn’t really planned but I’m happy to deliver a message for some who needs it. What is it in the world that makes you beautiful? We need to know beauty can be dark and light, and acceptance of what is and what can be done is what we have the power to always do.

If you can visualize, close your eyes and imagine these cards in your mind (if the picture is not to your likening I provided others photos of what the cards are). See if one is dark and heavy or light and rising towards your heart. You can choose either or and if all of them feel as if they have significance go ahead and take these messages to remind you of your beauty.

Pile 1:

Butterfly ☆🦋 ☆

❀ ╰☆╮ ◓ ◒ ◐ ╰☼╮ ❀

The beauty you hold is from your wild spirit, I also think from the wings of a butterfly you may have a delicate beauty and energy to you. Others may call this a free spirit and I see wings upon you for you are always in the clouds. You enjoy your own company and see the beauty in the littlest things. Though I see you as a free spirit I see you also walking your own path alone. With the wings, you see things from a higher perspective than most, looking to the bright side of things. You understand peoples woes because you have been through them or have seen through others lives how hard it can be. There is wisdom here and never leaving things unsaid, but knowing when to back off from a situation if it gets to hot. I can see you try and help people see things in a new ways, but that lands you in difficult places. You hold open your heart for the people you love for one day they may see what you have seen and you hold space for them as anyone should. You are a creative spirit who cannot be stopped whatever art you do whether it be spoken word, or through painting, fashion, sports you speak with it in your own unique way. You catch on to things quickly and you desire to expand your knowledge and your fun. You know you are meant for great things and that hope within you will lead you in the right direction. Just because you were alone that does not make you unworthy of a room full of people who love you and admire you. You bring fun into people lives even when you feel like you’re not doing anything different than what you usually do. I see effortless love being spread by you even if you don’t see that you are talked about in a beautiful light by others; I see they do. There is advisement to not push people away and and to never lose that spark within you even though I doubt you will ever lose it from what you have survived through and still you shine somehow. It is a beautiful thing that you hold and shine into others lives. You brighten this world up that is what makes you beautiful.

Pile 2:

Loon ✧ 🪽 ✧

𖦹 ๑ ໑ ❦ ︎✹✧✦✷ 𖦹 ๑ ໑

I see a pile two, what makes you beautiful is that you are a healer. Naturally, you have this need to give to the people you love and to others even undeserving but you still try and that is beautiful. There is this fear that you give too much or too little and so the balance is hard to pin down. Spirit wants to tell you that you give so much beauty and so much kindness to the ones who need it that you may unintentionally be the best medicine everyone needs. Your faith in spirit and yourself are powerful and majestic even when you may doubt. The stars shine within you and you are so willing to share that stardust. You try your best to stay emotionally balanced within most situations that require it. You know that many people need that energy, you are an emotionally mature person who can have spare time and room for other souls. You see the hope and beauty of people working together as one and your knowledge and wisdom guide others in the right direction. Please believe in yourself spirit says believe that even if you may give too much or too little that you are doing your best and that is always always enough. Throughout pile one and pile two I can see this glowing light within your bodies, expanding around, touching the people around you. Even though pile one gives off a different energy and gives others a different energy, you give off a soft and understanding hand to the souls who need it most. Your energy is specifically very healing very wise and very giving. Right now, I see you getting nudges from spirit to find solitude and to give yourself the energy you give to others. You are beautiful never doubt that because it fills me up with so much hope to see people like you out there.

Pile 3:

Your favorite animal ✷

𑁍 ❅ ❃ ⪩o⪨ ❃ ❅ 𑁍

Pile three your energy is as deep as the ocean. You hold many many things within you, but what I can clearly see is that you hold the pain. You see the horrors of reality, and understand that they are not meant to be repeated. So you understand the emotions and the pain that have been caused by others , and you seek peace within the world. I can see this in a rage/flame that burns within you, but then I see tears falling upon this fire and creating steam rising up into the air. You hold the good and the bad the light and the dark, and there is some thing so deeply beautiful about you it cannot be put into words. Spirit says to not be afraid of what you feel but to redirect it in the best way you can. I see you seeking peace, but as you do you teach others about pain and about release. I know you are a rule breaker you are someone who goes against the tide even if you don’t want to. You seek answers where others don’t you look at the things that people look away from. You know the importance of seeing the darkness/the shadow, but there is advisement to not fall prey to this pain but admittedly that will always be difficult. You are so beautiful for holding such space for such heavy energies because others cannot hold this. You have the capacity to, even on days you feel like you can’t. Do not burden yourself all the time with every tragedy that is brought to your attention but to use that deep pain to move forward a new grateful wave for what you have, and to love your anger and power for it is a tool that serves you well. That is what you are Aphrodite, rising from the sea foam, the cupbearer letting your cup overflow. Think of your favorite animal and think of all the wonderful qualities that it holds spirit is saying that you hold these qualities as well. Hold your head up high for you are a warrior a person of many talents and many gifts, share them and share your opinion it is powerful.

Pile 4:

White Bison ☯︎ 🦬 ☯︎

✼୫ ૪ ໒ 𐂴 ໒ ૪ ୫ ✼

Pile four you provide an energy of stability and out of all four piles. You are the most grounded giver but provider and I’m not saying you give it freely but even to yourself. Though I see you struggle with creativity at times and to make certain decisions that are sudden or offhanded when you make a choice you stick to it and that is something a lot of people need. You know that actions speak louder than words , and that sometimes words cannot describe what needs to be said, for you provide a stable sense of hope, knowing that not all things will come with sudden action so you are very wise like other piles. With every step, you are grateful and with every choice you consider the other carefully especially when it comes to others and your likely hood. You are a sight for sore eyes for a person who has met great hardship, you will not abandon the ones you have committed to, loyal people like you are so precious I just want to hide you away and keep you safe. I hear all for one and one for all, you take full responsibility for whatever you do and provide such a great foundation for people to thrive and grow off of. From your stability you give a certain type of love that many desire or even need. Though, you may feel burdened by the world or other people at times you still take it on anyway and move forward with these people step-by-step making sure you choose with integrity. Some people may call you stubborn but I call it persistence; even when something feels scary you continue to try something new. You do take time to think and learn, and though this may frustrate you, there is a beauty to it that others cannot understand. Continue being yourself for you are an important piece of the puzzle that is spirit. You have a bright future ahead of you. Continue moving forward and you will find love and peace ahead from your gorgeous energy.

★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★☆ ★

Thank you for giving us your beautiful energy you beautiful people. I cannot convey the magnetism and beauty you all hold and I’ll make a part two to touch upon other energies that are gorgeous but for now I have done what I felt was right. Have a lovely summer 🥰 keep shining ❤️

Decks I Used:

Spirit of the animals Oracle by Jody Bergsma

[http-drabbles]

soulmate, soulmate where are you? 2

1.3k words of absolute crushing angst, it's 7am and i woke up to write. shall i be evil and let this be the final part? mayhaps.

warnings: s/h and making jungkook sad (:W)

fuck fuck fuck.

skimming every question and typing out my answer feels a lot like betrayal. name, age, country of residence, when my soulmate mark appeared, contact details, translator needed, agreeing to a declaration that if my soulmate mark was found to be fraudulent i could face a fine or jail time. i tick the box by his name, attach a photo of my mark and send the form off. the confirmation email is too cheery it makes my jaw ache at how i grind my teeth.

i don't want to talk about the circumstances that lead me to fill out that form, to apply for a loan that covers travel cost and a hotel for this. the woman who helped me fill out the form was again all too cheery, wishing me a good luck and all i could do was smile so fucking limply back at her while noticing lipstick smudged against her teeth.

a month passes and i'm gleeful, maybe it's a network error and my form never submitted. i'm free and can tell the loan company to cancel my plan, i don't go on social media to see what jungkook is up to and in those weeks the nightmare is over and i embrace my loneliness.

the email arrives at 16:21. heathrow to seoul, a contact at hybe will meet me at the airport. id needed. date of when i'm expected to actually meet jungkook, with a disclaimer that it may change due to fluctuating schedule. the tiger lily tingles, and i almost see the petals opening ready to accept him.

"don't get your hopes up, i can always email them back to get out of this."

i don't. of course i don't because i'm standing in a Costa in London Fucking Heathrow next to the hybe contact who is analysing their croissants like it's the key to end all misery. i wished i could look at croissants with that much intensity.

she asked once to see my soulmate mark, gave it a one second glance over and then typed something down in her phone, i wondered how many people she's flown with to Korea. more than ten i would bet. i don't ask, i'm not conversational but when we're waiting in the queue holding out boarding passes i blurt to her.

"i haven't flown before. i've got a fear of it i think."

she passes me a sleeping tablet and i bump her number from ten to a solid fifteen.

korea is pretty, face practically smushed against the taxi window i take in every single detail i can. there's an over-abundance of signs, low hanging wires and roads so tiny it's a miracle a car can pass through them. i don't take photos, i rely on my brain to remember and then forget.

hybe is anything but pretty, more like a grey lump of concrete and glass. i sign two more documents and the translator informs me that in two days time i will be meeting jungkook, but not officially meeting. more like my arm will be stuck through a gap and our soulmate marks will touch, i will have to wear a mitt because some people had become a little too excited and scratchy. my mark is thoroughly inspected this time, deemed official and not a tattoo i'm driven over to my hotel.

i don't unpack, staring at the forms in my hand which are a mix of korean and english i almost laugh. traitor. stupid traitor.

over the next two days i come to two big conclusions, one kimchi is too sour but the rice cakes should be considered a universal delicacy and two, is it too late to back out?

is it too late to back out? i'm in the taxi, i consider clawing the windows for escape but i decide that digging my fingers into my belly helps ease my nerves. can i back out? hybe is cold, the ac is too strong and there's other girls in the room i'm lead into. shy smiles as i plop myself in the back. we are called alphabetically. is it possible to back out? there's four of us left now, i didn't bother counting us as a whole. i can't stop digging my nails into my stomach.

i can't back out. my name is called and somehow my body removes the hand from my belly and i walk myself over to the room. there's a row of grey screen partitions that divide the room, a small slither in the middle presumably where my arm will go. it hits me jungkook is on the other side and i bite my bottom lip hard to avoid laughing. tugging my sleeve up a staff member puts the mitt on securely, another verbal warning to not do anything harmful to the artist.

artist and not his name.

i sit down on the chair, staring into that small space to catch a sight of him but there's nothing. i don't mind a fine, or jail time. i hope it's not real. deliberately slowly i raise my arm, putting it through the gap with my tiger lily facing upwards. the air shifts around my arm and i feel him. warm as his tiger lily presses against mine.

at first nothing, and i almost let out the loudest sigh of relief and then it is everything. in the mitt my fingers jerk, i pull away like i've been electrocuted clutching my arm but it's energy, pure energy. thrum. drum. drum.

he's tearing the partitions apart and i stagger back, nearly falling over the chair to get away from him. frantic korean, something more reassuring from a staff member and then he pokes his head through. beaming smile, he's so happy to see me and i guess i'm somewhere between absolutely mortified and in complete shock. his sleeve is rolled up and i notice his tiger lily has fully blossomed, a quick glance down at mine and i realise mine is the same.

he speaks again, approaching me like he wants to hug me but seeing that i'm backing away like a rabid animal he slows, contains himself and glances at the translator and back at me.

"hello. i'm jungkook. it's nice to meet you finally." oh god. too much. he's too kind and his cologne has infiltrated my nostrils and i'm so glad the mitt is still on because i'd be clawing at my nose to stop smelling it.

"s-sorry.. can't." i give the staff member who brought me in here the universal look of, 'get-me-the-fuck-out-of-here-now.' i am ignored.

"sorry?" he tilts his head in pure confusion, he looks worried. i hate him for it. "don't be sorry. it's okay. i'm happy."

i glance around the room and notice i'm being recorded, i don't know what sets me off more. he's too close, the camera, him, why is he so close? he touches my shoulder to comfort me and i jerk away, i can't stop looking at the camera and the other staff members who are beaming at us.

"i'm sorry," my eyes lock with his, "i don't want you." he doesn't understand and i glance at the translator.

she looks sad and very softly tells him what i've said, he doesn't seem to believe her because he presses his fingers against the tiger lily and shakes his head.

"us. this is us." he's struggling to speak himself and i can see him remembering. he's really looking at my arm now, clearer. the burns, the cuts. all the times i've tried to prune that cancerous flower from my arm. almost physically wounded he takes a step back.

"i'm sorry, i don't want this." the translator repeats my words and all he does is nod.

he nods and i leave.