#I expected to be much more bruised than I am honestly

[mydnyt02]

How I ate a donut at work the other day ‘cause I don’t like eating food with my hands at work and I didn’t want to get sticky

[ourceliumnetwork]

feeling a lot more stable about everything, i decided to forego keeping a bandaid on because my fucking skin cannot take the adhesives for that long omg itches so bad around them

I have a plan in place to replace the bandaids should i require not needing to see my elbow again about it, but i also wanted to see for myself how bad it was.

BOY HOWDY do I bruise purty. That shit is dark where it's not already going greenyellow. looks like I put a sharpie in a chokehold and barely managed to wrangle it into submission like damn.

[lovecla]

IF YOU LOVE ME, LET ME KNOW | jack hughes.

00.3. how was your first night together?

➴ warnings: nsfw, rough sex, oral sex (f. receiving), use of the word slut, bit of humiliation, dacryphilia, subspace kinda?, protected sex, nipple sucking, curse words, aftercare, cockwarming, dirty talk.

➴ word count: 2.2k

➴ author’s note: i have nothing to say for myself… also, this is the first straight smut I write in YEARS. so pls bear with me… also2, im highly aware that jack is probably a cutie pie during sex (and dw!! we’ll get there eventually) but something abt this jack… makes me dizzy. hope u all enjoy!!

—♡

LEAVING the party with this man— you still didn’t even know his name— was probably the best decision you had ever made, after auditioning for that one show that changed your life back when you were thirteen.

The pretty boy drove you to his actual house and rested his hand on your thigh the entire ride. You could feel yourself getting wetter and wetter with the thought of letting a man, who you barely even knew, fuck you senseless.

Maybe Grace was right and you did have a little bit of a thing for humiliation.

Although nothing compared to when he opened the door of his huge house for you, and kissed you before he had even closed it properly. His kiss was bruising and angry, his hands gripping your waist with just the right amount of strength and you could swear you were melting in his arms.

“Fuck,” you moaned, sitting on his lap. “What’s your name?”

He laughed, eyes red and mouth swollen. “You don’t know who I am?”

“No?” You raised your eyebrow, smirking.

“I’m Jack Hughes.” He said, looking bothered by the fact that you didn’t know who he was.

“Hi, Jack Hughes,” you said, rocking your hips against his. “I’m Sophia.”

“Oh, I know who you are, baby,” he tucked a strand of hair behind your ear. “That concert Nico went to? I was there too.”

Now that surprised you.

“Cat got your tongue, baby?” He was the one smirking now. You rolled your eyes.

“Less yapping and more fucking. I’m starting to think you’re full of shit.”

You barely had time to finish breathing after your sentence before he grabbed you by your waist, and lifted you, forcing you to wrap your legs around his waist.

He somehow managed to climb up the stairs while holding you and hell if that didn’t make you wetter. You could feel your panties sticky and glued to your intimate part, and honestly there wasn’t anything that you wanted more than to remove them.

He placed you in the bed, gentler than you’d expect him to, and you watched as he removed his suit, his toned abs making you clench around nothing. He pushed his somewhat long hair back before getting his hands on you again.

“Let’s get this monstrosity out of you,” he growled before almost ripping the jersey out of you. You laid on the bed now wearing just your bra and your mini-skirt. “Much better.”

You turned around, deciding that he deserved a show. Removing your bra, you actually moaned when you felt the cold air hit your hard nipples. You fought the need of touching them, and went straight to removing your skirt and panties, not letting yourself feel shy or embarrassed.

You felt Jack’s hands on you, turning you around and getting you on your knees. He looked at you like a predator and from just one look at his pants, you could tell that that man was packed.

“Here’s what you’re gonna do, baby,” he whispered, blue eyes staring down at you. “You’re gonna sit that sweet, needy cunt on my face, and I’m gonna eat you out until you’re coming. Then,” he stepped closer, not breaking eye contact. “I’m gonna fuck you fast and rough. That’s how I like it. And with that slutty face of yours,” he scoffed, eyes full of lust and desire. “I’m guessing that’s how you like it too.”

You bit your lips, nodding with your head, because you didn’t trust yourself enough to do anything besides moaning.

He removed the rest of his clothes and, yay, you were right, but also— fuck. You were right. His cock was big and thick and looked like it would reach your stomach and rearrange your organs.

Just how you liked it.

He laid on the bed and grabbed your hips, making you sit on his face, and when the tip of his tongue met your aching clit, you swear you saw stars.

You were holding yourself on the headboard, not wanting to hurt him. He looked like a great guy, and didn’t deserve to die because he suffocated during sex.

But it looked like he had other plans.

“I think I told you to sit your cunt on my face, didn’t I?”

“Yes, but—”

“Do as I fucking say.” Even though he said it, he was the one who grabbed your thighs and pulled you down, making your pussy cover his entire mouth.

Your moans were probably heard from across the street, but you didn’t care. It had been way too long since your last time and this? This was heaven. Jack was a fucking munch. The way he licked your clit and fucked his tongue inside you? Yeah, he knew what he was doing.

“J-Jack, fuck,” you heard yourself saying, eyes starting to feel wet and mind going all blank. “God, what the fuck.”

The wet noises could be heard whenever your moans came out softly, and his hands on your thighs only made it all better, because you knew it would bruise. You knew it would leave a mark there and it felt so good to know that this was the man marking you up.

You looked down by accident and you came right on the spot when you made eye contact with the man underneath you; it should have been embarrassing to look at him eating you out but it wasn’t anything like that. You felt owned and desired. You felt whole.

He removed his lips from your pussy, not before licking it a few times, and turned you around, him on top of you. He moved so he could grab the condom from the bedside table— fuckboy move, totally— and you watched as he put it on.

He kissed you one more time while he inserted himself on you, not really giving you the time to adjust. You felt your hole burning, and it felt good. You were so wet that the squelching sounds were almost embarrassing, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He was hitting you on the right spots.

“Fuck, you’re tight,” he murmured, slamming into you with force. “Pussy so ‘fuckin tight for me. Holy shit.”

“Harder, p-please,” you heard yourself saying and you saw how his bright, blue eyes were changing into a dark, ocean color. You saw danger in them.

“You’re still speaking so I guess I’m not doing my job the right way, huh?” He said, taking almost all of his cock out just to slam it back into you with strength.

Your mind was going to a very strange place where you couldn’t really think straight and even though that should be scary, you felt nothing but… free.

The pleasure was so fucking good and your pussy had never felt so satisfied, as corny as it sounded. He had his lips on your right nipple, sucking and biting, his right hand rubbing your clit fast and precise, while his dick slammed into you with the right amount of pressure.

You could feel the tension building up inside of you and you knew you were going to come again, and soon, but when you tried to say something, warn him, it felt like you had grabbed a stick of glue and glued your mouth shut.

But it was too much, your legs were trembling and your eyes were wet, tears cascading down your face. You knew your face was red and probably slutty like Jack had said but it didn’t matter.

“Poor slut can’t even talk, mhm?” You heard Jack mock you, and fuck if it didn’t make you clench your hole around his dick. “You liked being called that, didn't you? Little slut. My brainless, stupid slut.”

His hand started to move faster on your clit and you tried to close your legs, out of pure instinct.

“None of that, sweetheart,” he whispered in your ear, still fucking you rough and hard. “Keep those pretty, little legs open for me. Isn’t that what you’re here for? Letting me, a guy who you barely know, fuck you senseless.”

You were fully crying now, holding onto him with so much force, secretly thankful that he was a Hockey player and probably used to all the roughness.

“I-I’m gonna,” you mumbled, not even thinking straight.

“You’re gonna come on my cock, sweetheart? Yeah? Gonna make a mess for me and wet my bed sheets even more?”

You felt yourself nodding, biting your lips when you felt yourself coming. Jack was still fucking you, searching for his own release. He lifted himself just enough to grab you by your waist and slam himself into you, over and over again.

Your tits went up and down and your eyes went to the back of your head.

“Fuck, I’m gonna fill you up now, baby. C’mon, sweetheart, I’m gonna come, fuck.” Jack cursed, thrusting into you one last time, before coming inside the condom.

All you could hear were your sniffles and his breathing. Your legs were still shaking and your body felt the same way it did whenever you had a fever.

You could hear Jack moving, but you only acted when you felt himself removing his dick. “N-No. Please, stay. Just… for a bit?” You sounded fragile, almost insecure, and you hated it. It wasn’t anything like you, at all. You had guys and girls throwing themselves at you everyday— not that it mattered, you never took interest in any of them— so you shouldn’t act like a needy… slut.

But your fucked up brain couldn’t handle the thought of Jack leaving you. So, you did what you could. Begged.

You heard him chuckling and before your brain could tell you that he was laughing at your request, you felt him moving you both around and, without removing his cock from you, he managed to lay on the bed and let you on top of his, your head on the crock of his neck, your intimate parts still connected.

You sighed, content and full, feeling even better when he put the duvet on top of you both, making you snuggle even closer. He chuckled again.

“Feeling very cozy in there, right, sweetheart?” He mumbled, and you smiled, even if he couldn’t see. He smelled like sandalwood and something else, something that didn’t smell like a cologne or anything like that— just him.

You didn’t know how much time had passed, you probably snoozed after a minute or two, but you woke up startled, feeling empty because he had just removed himself from you. You whined.

“We need to clean you up, c’mon,” he said, rising from the bed and taking you with him. He didn’t seem to care that you were both naked and you looked like you had seen better days— your makeup was all smudged and your eyeliner was long gone. But you felt so freaking good. “I need you to pee. I’ll wait for you outside if you want.”

You looked at the man in front of you, who looked nothing like the cocky guy who hit on you not even three hours ago. He looked soft and gentle, and you were all here for it.

“That’d be great, thank you,” you said softly, and he kissed you on the forehead, before leaving and closing the door behind him. You looked at your reflection in the big ass mirror in front of you and sighed, smiling. You looked fucked but damn. You felt like you had just hit the jackpot.

And maybe you had.

You peed and cleaned yourself, trying to remove the remains of your makeup with wet paper. It didn’t do much, but it was better than going out there looking like Chucky’s bride.

You opened the bathroom door, feeling cold once again. Now that your body temperature was going back to normal, you felt cold walking around naked.

Jack was standing in the middle of the room, wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and nothing else.

It should be illegal for someone to look this good after rearranging my organs.

“I picked some of my clothes for you. You won’t be sleeping in my bed with Nico’s ugly jersey,” he raised his brow, looking truly upset with Nico’s shirt.

You smiled. “It’s fine. I’m not going to spend the night. That is against the rules of a one night stand.”

It felt stupid to say shit like that, but it was true. Now that the sex drive was going away, you regained some of your senses and confidence and you knew that being a clingy bitch wouldn’t get you anything.

“I mean, I can sleep in my guest room if sleeping with me makes you uncomfortable, but there’s no way in hell I’m letting you go back to your house alone at one in the fucking morning.”

“I know how to take care of myself, Hughes,” you heard yourself saying and you wanted to slap yourself. Where did the attitude even come from anyway? “Besides, I’ll just get an Uber.”

“The fuck you will,” he laughed— he actually laughed. You couldn’t believe it. “Lay down. With how hard I fucked you, you should be like Aurora from Sleeping Beauty anytime now.”

You suppress a giggle, giving in. So easy. “You’re annoying as fuck.”

“Funny, you didn't say that when I was eating your pussy.” He shrugged and climbed on the right side of his bed.

Your face went all shades of red.

“Come on, Sophia. Think about your poor consequences tomorrow.”

You rolled your eyes and climbed on his king sized bed. He wrapped his hands around your waist and you put your head in his chest, and listened to his heartbeat until you fell asleep.

He was right. You could manage the consequences tomorrow.

[precure1ove]

Raison d’être

summary : meaning ; “ A reason for existing “  bickering like a married couple with ace

character : ace trappola

warnings : established relationship, aged up, bickering, insults, typical married couple, slight angst, y'all love each other trust, dialogue heavy?

a/n : i saw a tiktok about old married couples arguing and i just imagined ace having that type of relationship so thats how this fic was written

“ move, you're on my side of the couch “

Ace doesn’t even blink at your words, his eyes finding the show he’s watching much more entertaining than coming face to face with that awful frown he’s sure you have on right now. He shifts on the couch, as if looking for something.

An exasperated sigh escapes your mouth, you already know what he's planning, since you both have said the same sentence about a gazillion times already.

Ace turns back, feigned shock present on his face, “ oh no babe.. it seems I can't find your name on this specific spot on the couch! “, he lifts a hand up to ruffle his hair, acting bashful that opposes the mischievous gleam you know too well.

“Perhaps next time “-oh boy here it comes- “you should've sat down here first.” Perhaps now it's best to call up your old friends and complain as to why they allowed you to even set eyes on this man and believe him to be a good partner for the future. 

Again. For the 100th time.

So you follow their wonderful and thoughtful advice and go to whack Ace harshly his head, a harsh ‘OW’ following behind it, Ace scowls up at you, caressing the bruised spot while shuffling away from your spot, mumbling ill mouthed words and something along the lines of ‘could've asked nicely…’

‘ Score to me ‘ you think to yourself, settling comfortably in the victor's spot, your eyes drawn to the tv still playing on in the background, “ what are we watching?”

“Don't you mean what am I watching?” Despite the bitterness he felt after losing and you're cheating, he rests an arm on his cheek and goes into a lengthy ramble about the show, something about a Victorian boy making a contract with a demon. 

arguing in a shop aisle

As people scutter, they all watch curiously and awkwardly at the sight of you and Ace having a heated argument in the middle of the treats aisle, thoughts of ‘ it may be the end for them ‘ and’ I hope they can make it work ‘ pass by .

“ Ace, I am not getting the limited edition basketball treats just because you have that slim chance of getting your favourite player. Just get the regular ones which we agreed on !”

 You point an accusing finger at him, holding onto the original box of the treats you usually get, Ace looks back at you horrified and (rightfully he may add) offended at your words.

 Clutching the limited box in his arms.

 “ How can you even say such a thing?! It's not all about my favourite- which I know is in here- but have you read the flavour, it's cherry duh? The best thing in the world! “

He exclaims like it was a known fact -taunting you to retort back- a typical push and pull situation you both engage in. Your hands clench against the box, it was so Ace to always be whisked away by over the top advertising, honestly you expected more from him especially by how blunt he can be.

 His one working brain cell must have been taken over by all the stupid ones.

“We have a specific budget since we're saving to finally visit friends abroad and you want to throw all that away so i can listen to you groan about not getting the card you want and cherries?” You huff, shoving the regular box into the shopping cart, storming off to the checkout, not before adding on a “pay for it yourself”.

Ace watched your figure grow distant, frustration meddling with his head alongside guilt. You two have both been looking forward to that trip, he looks back at the shelf where the limited boxes were, face cringing up at the price as he places the box back. 

Trudging along aisles, a constant 'ignore that, ignore that' repeats in his mind at the many limited items, passing by the checkout area after (disappointingly) not finding you there, Ace has a grim thought of what if you did finally leave him, his legs seem to move quicker at that.

Memorising the way to where you parked the car, Ace sighs in relief to see you sitting in there on your phone. You leaving.. What a ridiculous thought, you and his mind must be teaming up against him to let him think that. 

Noticing Ace opening the car door, a slight acknowledgement that he isn't carrying the limited edition treats, a small smile welcomes itself on your face at that. The silence was also welcomed for a few seconds until Ace goes into a tangent of you leaving him and how it wasn't very romantic of you to do that.

The smile now replaced by a frown as you start the car, replying back with your own retorts.

"take an extra jacket, it's cold out." "Okay, mom."

You stare at Ace sternly, he calls this look ‘are you fucking serious’, one of his many favourite expressions you have. You both stood in the hallway, shoes and coats surrounding you while outside snow floated cautiously outside, the heated but stupid argument you might have soon would melt any ice.

“On second thought maybe you shouldn't take an extra jacket, you finally shut up when you're sick.”

You held back the extra jacket close to your chest, the prospect of Ace being quiet is a reward itself for all the years you’ve put up(read; been in a relationship) with him. “ Now you're sounding like my brother, going through the family tree quickly aren't you” Ace looks at you mischievously, wrapping a scarf around your neck while you straighten out his collar.

It’s the little moments that happen in between every insult, moments like these which remind you both that each still cares about each other.

“You’re brother huh? Maybe I should've gone with him, sounds like a smart guy.” You retort, an impish grin on your face as you pass the jacket to him, Ace rolls his eyes, zipping up the jacket, snorting at your word.

“Yeah right, we both know you hate him and I can't argue with you for that- remember at our wedding when he insulted me, you had a full on go at him for that!”

A look of adoration was shown on his face, quickly replaced by a gloved finger jabbing against your cheeks, “you were so cute back then now you're just mean,” he pouts.

Wafting his finger away, you sneer up at him “Pot calling the kettle black, i can't believe i actually thought you were pleasant to be around.” Shuffling on your boots, the two of you retreat out into the cold, hands meeting halfway as if it was natural.

“Excuse you, I am still pleasant to be around, otherwise you wouldn't have stuck around for 7 years.” He waves your conjoined hands in the air, winking at you coyly.

You sigh, immune to his antics by now (though others would disagree), Ace has always used the marriage card as an advantage in arguments or casual conversations, however, it was nice he still kept count.

“You trapped me with stupidly charming vows, how was i supposed to say no."

"So you still think I'm charming?"

"I hate you." (I love you)

"I hate you too." (I love you too)

likes and reblogs appreciated !

masterlist⠀ — ⠀ request here

[mingtinysworld]

i am also on a dom! jongho kick and i would DIE to read a fic with mean dom jongho 🥹 maybe with impact/pain play or shibari !!

Bound

Pairing: Choi Jongho x fem!reader

Genre: smut, bdsm

Word count: 2.5k

Summary: you’re wanting to venture into more intense things with Jongho, and he delivers the best possible experience for you

Warnings: mdni, dom!jongho, sub!reader, shibari (or bondage I really don’t know the difference I’m sorry lol), impact play (use of wooden paddle), oral (f receiving), pet names (love, sweetheart, baby, princess), use of ‘painslut��� once

A/n: thank you so much for this request, anon! It’s been in my drafts for months now, so I’m sorry it took so long. This was my first time writing something this intense, so I hope I did it justice. I really really hope you like it, thank you for reading. If you like it, please comment and reblog, love you! - jules<3

“Are you sure sweetheart?”

You confirm your surety with a firm nod.

A week ago, you had expressed an interest in experimenting further with you and Jongho’s sex life. Jongho was hesitant at first, worried about how you would react to something that is not vanilla.

You insist that you want to try more things, something more intense than what you are used to. Jongho’s biggest fear is to do anything to hurt you, but looking at your pleading eyes makes him realize that he can never say no to you.

“Ok baby, we can try something intense. We have to go over some things first though, ok?” You nod excitedly.

“First of all, tell me what your limits are. Are you ok with being bound, like your arms or legs tied up?” You take a moment to think. The thought of being tied up and being at Jongho’s mercy makes your heart race, and you voice a quiet yes.

“Are you ok with being gagged or blindfolded?”

“I-I’m not sure? Maybe?” It’s clear he wants a definite answer from you. “Um actually, no. I don’t feel ok with that.” You answer honestly.

“That’s ok baby, it’s important to tell me what you like and don’t like so that I don’t make you uncomfortable.” Jongho sounds so professional, like he’s done this interview dozens of times. “Are you ok with me inflicting pain? That would be stuff like spanking, or using tools such as a paddle or flogger, or nipple clamps.”

Your face goes red at the mention of nipple clamps, and you blink rapidly. “Nipple clamps sound nice. And I would be ok with all those other things.”

“Good job baby, you’re doing so good. Thank you for being honest with me.” The praise runs through you like fire and you almost feel like purring at the satisfaction of it.

“Are you familiar with using the light system? Green for ok, yellow for slow down, and red for full hard stop.” He asks.

“Yeah, I know it.” You answer confidently, feeling happy at knowing something.

“Perfect, baby. I think I know just what to do with you. I’ll make you feel so so good.” With every word, Jongho gets closer to you on the couch. He runs his hands up and down your arms, raising goosebumps all over. You open your lips a bit, expecting him to kiss you, but he quietly whispers against your lips.

“How about using some rope, tying you up all nice and snug for me.” His breath mingles with your own, creating a heated atmosphere. “And then I can use a smooth paddle to make your pretty skin all bruised.”

A moan escapes your mouth at Jongho’s words and he smirks a bit. “You like the sound of that?” He asks smugly, knowing the answer already.

“Yeah, I want you to do all that to me.” You say breathily, wanting to kiss him so badly.

“And can I call you names? Ones that aren’t so nice.” His breath feels warm on your face, and you feel almost dizzy from his proximity. “Would you like that?”

You feel about ready to burst from the anticipation. With a frustrated growl you pull him closer. “Jongho you can do anything to me and I would love it. Please just fuck me.”

Jongho chuckles at your impatience and finally his lips are on yours. He kisses you with a hungry desire, hinting at all the dirty things he wants to do to you. You return his fervor just as intensely, needing to feel every inch of him.

Jongho pulls away for a split second and you immediately whine at the loss.

“Hold on baby, slow down,” he says breathlessly. “Let’s go to the bedroom first.” You nod in agreement, and can’t help but feel a tiny bit embarrassed at your desperation. Pink covers the tips of your ears, and Jongho being the attentive boyfriend that he is, immediately notices.

“Baby are you embarrassed?” He asks curiously.

“No I just, I just, feel so…” you stumble through your words trying to get your feelings across. “I just want you so bad.”

At your admission, Jongho’s gaze darkens, and he looks like he’s ready to devour you. “Get on the bed sweetheart.”

You don’t think twice about obeying him. You turn around and crawl to the top of the bed, brimming with anticipation. Jongho takes out a few items from a big black box, the contents of which are unknown to you until he pulls out a thick, white cotton rope.

The sight of it has you breathing faster, knowing that soon enough the material is going to be tied around you. Jongho steps closer to you and you have to stop your thighs from clenching together. He notices and gives you a knowing smirk.

“Patience baby,” he says in a saccharine voice. He slowly lifts up your shirt, making eye contact that scorches your insides. Once the material is off you, he instructs you to lift your arms up.

As you do, he takes the rope behind you and drapes it across the top of your chest. He expertly ties a knot and tests the tightness of it.

“Does that feel good? Not too tight?” He asks, wanting to make sure you feel good.

“It’s perfect,” you voice out.

He gives you a soft kiss and continues tying the rope around the bottom of your breasts, making your breath hitch at the contact. You can feel your heart pounding and you’re sure Jongho can feel it as he runs his hand across your flushed skin.

“You’re so beautiful my love,” he speaks reverently, in a hushed tone, like you’re something to be worshipped. “And fuck, you’re all mine.”

A quiet whimper escapes you and Jongho delights in hearing you. He continues with the rope, and he loops around so that he can tie both of your hands behind you. The rope feels foreign against your skin, but you’re certainly getting used to this feeling of restraint.

Jongho ties the final knot and gives you a sweet, promising kiss.

“There you go love, what are you gonna do now?” He gives you a teasing smile, fully aware that you can’t do much with your hands being useless behind you. You give him a big pout.

“Jonghooo don’t be mean.”

“Oh sweetheart, this isn’t me being mean. I promise.” With that, he attaches his lips onto your neck, making you gasp. He drags his tongue across your sensitive skin, making heat prickle along your spine. He bites down a bit which makes you yelp in surprise and that elates Jongho.

He leaves deep purple marks which you know will stay there long after he’s done with you. You squirm in place, longing to have your hands on him, but the restraint holds you back.

“Jongho please~” you whine in impatience.

He clicks his tongue in annoyance and fixes you with a glare. “Are you not planning on being a good girl today?”

You swallow hard and shake your head. “N-no I’ll be a good girl, I will.”

“Good girls don’t speak out of line, and most importantly, good girls don’t beg for attention.”

“I’m sorry sir,” you apologize with a quiet voice, hanging your head. At the title ‘sir’, Jongho is filled with domination and a surge of arousal.

“God, baby, you’re so beautiful,” he tilts your chin up, showing off your pretty eyes. “Be good for me and I will give you everything you’ve ever wanted.”

You give him a nod and he captures your lips in a heated kiss. His hands run over your bare shoulders, leaving you anticipating for more. “You taste so good my love,” he growls. He straddles your form, and you can feel his full weight pressing you down, making your brain go fuzzy.

He’s like a weighted blanket, melting away all your thoughts and only letting your body do the talking. Your hips attempt to move, but he holds you down easily.

“Nuh uh baby, let me do all the work,” he says in a low voice. He grinds his hips into yours, and you gasp at the sensation, feeling his erection pressing into you. Jongho smirks at that, continuing his rhythm.

“F-fuck Jongho,” you gasp out.

He gives you a small smile, loving the way you’re reacting to him. “I love seeing you under me, so small and obedient.”

You can’t help but moan at that, nodding your head as to agree with him. He leaves lingering kisses along your neck, nipping in some places, giving you a mix of pain and pleasure.

Your breath leaves you in soft sighs as Jongho’s tongue teases a sensitive spot. “You’re behaving so well love,” he praises. “Do you want more?”

You desperately nod, eyes widening in excitement. That makes Jongho chuckle and he moves off your lap to move down to your center. He leaves a soft kiss on your navel, making your skin tingle.

Jongho takes his time worshippping your thighs, leaving soft but messy kisses. “I love your body, it’s so soft,” he sucks a mark into the inside of your thigh. “So beautiful, and all mine to take.”

With that, he lowers his face, making contact with your core. You inhale sharply, the feeling of his tongue roaming around your insides too much to handle.

“God, you taste so good baby,” Jongho moans into your pussy. Your cheeks flame in embarrassment, but you feel another surge of arousal. You can hear how wet you are, which is making you even more unbearably needy.

“F-feels so good oh my god,” you whine out. You want to hold on to Jongho’s luscious locks so badly, but your bound hands are completely useless behind you. So you settle for moving your hips against his face, his nose catching on your clit deliciously.

Jongho can’t help but feel proud at the way you’re writhing under him, rutting your hips against his face. Jongho feels intoxicated, with the way you taste, feeling like he’s getting drunk. “Fuck baby, are you gonna cum for me?”

You feel so awfully close to your release. You can only let out a hum of acknowledgement as your legs start to shake. With a few more laps of his tongue you come undone, locking in Jongho’s head with your legs.

“Good girl, there you go,” Jongho soothes with a warm touch to your stomach. “Did that feel good?”

“So, so good,” you say almost deliriously, head rushing from your intense orgasm.

Jongho lets out an amused chuckle at your expression. “That good huh?” Then his face takes on a bit of a serious look. “How’s the rope feeling? Anything sore or tingly?” He inquires.

“No, it’s perfect Jongho,” you say in a breathy tone.

At your words, Jongho’s gaze darkens. “Perfect, baby. Shall we move on?” He asks with a barely contained smirk.

“Yeah…”

Jongho takes you by the waist, maneuvering your body so that his back rests against the headboard, and your body is draped against his lap, ass facing him.

Your hands are still bound behind your back, and you nervously fidget with your fingers. You’re about to complain from the lack of touch when you flinch from a cold material pressed against the back of your thigh.

You whimper from the feel of it, closing your eyes and letting yourself take in the sensation. It’s so cold against your skin, almost as if it was placed in the fridge prior.

“This is the paddle I was talking about baby.” He drags the wooden object up and down your leg. “I think you’re gonna feel so good baby.” He whispers.

The first strike takes you by complete surprise, and you let out a loud yelp. It burns, but it’s also so good. “F-fuck.”

“Good?” Jongho questions.

“Mmhm.” Words can’t seem to come to you, so you settle for a hum.

He circles the paddle around the skin between your thigh and cheek and he strikes again, slightly harder. You’re prepared this time around, controlling your sounds by biting your lip. Jongho takes a warm hand to your skin, caressing and soothing the delicious sting.

“How does it feel princess? Tell me,” he urges.

You take a moment to string words together, your brain feeling like mush. “It h-hurts so good.” This makes Jongho smile big.

“Color?” He asks, awaiting your answer before continuing further.

“G-green,” you answer, making him nod in approval.

“Aren’t you a little painslut?” The degrading words make your cheeks heat up, making your pussy throb in arousal. You just groan in response, head spinning.

He switches to your other cheek now, smacking your already bruising skin. “You’re gonna look so beautiful after this my love.” Jongho’s eyes have a sadistic gleam to them, enjoying the pain he’s inflicting upon you.

Your eyes fill up with tears as you feel the continuous strikes against you, and your nose turns runny, creating a humiliating stream of snot down your face. “Oh my god!” You exclaim thickly.

A particular hard hit makes you sob, turning your breaths uneven and ragged. Jongho takes a finger and places it against your clit, making your body jolt in surprise.

“I want you to cum for me one more time baby,” he demands.

Between the stimulation of your bud and the nonstop smacks you can’t help but break. You cum with a guttural moan, body convulsing as Jongho draws out your high.

“There you go, love, let go,” He shushes you gently, calming you down. “Breathe, just like that.”

As soon as the hits from the paddle stop, your body sags down heavily, entirely spent. Jongho lays you down gently, moving to undo all the knots from the rope. He takes great care in caressing your red wrists and chest, sending pleasant shivers down your body.

“I’m so so proud of you baby,” he praises, having gotten rid of the rope now. He gets the soothing cream from the bedside table, applying it gently, making you wince slightly. “I’m sorry, I know it’s not the most comfortable feeling.”

Your body feels like jello, as if you have zero control of your limbs. “Hug.” With that single word, Jongho’s heart is filled with so much adoration and love for you. He picks you up with a tender hold, arms wrapping your body.

“You did so unbelievably well princess. Did you enjoy it?” He asks, wanting to know if you enjoyed it as much as he did.

“Jongho, this was probably one of the best things that has ever happened to me.” You say with a soft chuckle. “I felt so safe submitting to you.”

He beams hearing you say that, making him smile in relief, now that he’s sure you enjoyed it all. “I’m so happy that you liked it baby, thank you for trusting me.”

“Now get some sleep, you deserve it my love.”

[diejager]

who's the cruelest yandere out of the cod men in your opinion 😵‍💫 i wanna say price, but i'm interested in your own view!! ☄️🫣

Hmmmm I, honestly, never put much thought to who’s the cruelest of the bunch, but I am inclined to agree with you.

We all know Price, he’s an authoritative figure, he’s a Captain after all. With the rank and power of a captain, plus how successful his missions are, I’d say he’s also very respected. And we all know how respectable people hide dark secrets, no?? Price can be nice, but he can be as mean and cruel as he’s nice. He can be really cruel if he wants to, he doesn’t have a clean slate either, not with that stunt he pulled in MW1.

In my opinion, if given the opportunity (either as a yandere or simple a dark character) he’d be down right cruel, he’s a captain, he gets what he wants and what he wishes. With rank comes power, and with that, not much can stop him. He can still be sweet and soft, as any man, but he doesn’t shy from degrading and spanking. He might actually enjoy spanking, with a bit - a lot - of rope and handcuffs, it lets him have a lot more of control over you.

I’d put König somewhere behind Price tbh, he’s higher in ranking and power than Price, but he doesn’t do much about it, since PMC’s work differently than the military. I will say, however, that he can be rough and mean, cruel in a possessive way to show you who you belong to and who owns you. Bullying and possessiveness has a link in psychology (or so I’m told), and that just adds to the fire that makes König mean and imposing.

He’d definitely use his height and weight against you, pinning and degrading you in the cruelest way he can, a bully of some sort, but one just for you. König’s a dark man, as well, keeps his secret as close to his heart as he keeps his face hidden under his veil. He’s real physical, being bullied means that no one really wanted to be associated with him for fear of receiving the same treatment, so he grew up as a lonely kid. Which fuelled his possessiveness and jealousy. He’s extremely touch starved, it makes him like the thought of owning and belonging to someone physically and mentally.

Soap is third on the list, since he’s a bit more reckless and rowdy. He likes having his way, with how headstrong and boisterous he is, it’s at least expected that he likes getting what he wants. He’s not exactly cruel in a hitting or verbal way. He’s more of a “push over the limit” kind of cruel. He forgets your limit with how enthusiastic he is and it goes from nice to mean.

He’s not necessarily doing it on purpose, he’s just too enthusiastic! He’s a giver, but might give too much. And too much of good becomes bad. He’s a tad bit rough, beard burns and bruises, but he truly means no harm. He loves physically, kisses and hugs, hard hugs but only to show how much he loves you. Even as a darker character, he might be slightly more violent and degrading, but remember, he’s still headstrong and honest in the remake.

I put Ghost farther down cuz, well, he’s lived in a toxic household with an abusive father. He knows what it is to be hit, to be thrown around and to be berated for something he was innocent of. So while he is cruel to others, blunt and brutal with his words, he won’t raise a hand or his voice against you. It’s true that some of those that were abused grow up to become a cruel, callous and cold person, but that’s why he joined the military. It helps him control his sudden bursts of anger rather than taking it out on someone he cares about.

Even as a yandere or a morally grey character, if he learns to love someone, he’s not going to act out abusively. He knows what a toxic environment does to a person. He’s a soft carer, showing that he cares by memorizing your habits, your preferences, your little kinks and anything that makes you quirky. He might be a bit rough and mean, but he’d specify that he means none of it. After care is really, really important.

Lastly, Gaz, meh bby. Couldn’t do wrong in my mind. He’s precious and adorable. He’s dependable and likes to be praised and appreciated. I find it hard to imagine Gaz as someone cruel and demeaning. He likes being acknowledge for the things he’s done well, being given kisses and loving words. He’s a soft lover, he cares and gives a lot, but he loves being told how good he is.

We see how compassionate he is when he was first introduced in MW1, he doubts and hesitates, but always wants to help do good. He might have a slightly grey moral compas, but it’s extremely light when compared to Price and Ghost. He wants to help and means good, might be the reason he joined the military. Being strong and reliable to the person he cares about, to love you with all he can give. He’s not mean or degrading, unless you ask him to play the part, he won’t.

[wonuwrites]

Seventeen Most To Least Likely To:

protect you from yourself

2.0 from this ask xo from @sharonxdevi

warnings: fluffy, angsty, some cursing, some food talk in Wonwoo's, stressed out Cheol + Jeonghan + kwannie :( , slight suggestive maybe if you squint, also I wrote basically a novel for Minghao's part. If you hate that, then go away bc we love Minghao here.

p.s I wrote most of this at 2 am after chugging 2 redbulls. It's gonna be chaotic as fuck and i'm not sorry whatsoever

listening to this banger of an album

M O S T

-> Minghao

Out of all of the members in Seventeen, I feel like Minghao always has an eye out for you and is always conscious of you.

I mean, if you need an example on how he'd be: look at how he babies friggin Vernon lmao.

He would do a lot of little things, like when you were being a passenger princess, because you would be. He would do this if there were bumps in road or whatever.

He also would always be holding your hand when walking and would walk by the road.

He'd peel your orange just so you wouldn't hurt yourself with a knife by accident.

Potentially might blow on food so you wouldn't burn your mouth lmaooo.

I don't think he would nag you like others would because he knew you were your own person and could do whatever they pleased.

However, he would always show how much he wanted to protect you.

You were his special person after all.

If you fell in front of him, he'd run to you and help you up. If you were laughing he might giggle as well and remind you to be more careful.

If you managed to get hurt and he was not around he would first make sure you weren't dying. Then he would just try to calm you down if you were anxious and just be there.

honestly, 100/10 type a guy. He's a walking green flag.

-> Dino

Honestly, maknae means nothing. Lee Chan is one of the more responsible members of Seventeen.

I mean in Nana Tour he was manager of money.

Just like being the manager, he would be the manager of your life?

He would constantly make sure you were okay and that any "obstacles" would not be in your way AT ALL.

He would be by your side constantly when you were out just to make sure you were safe and comfortable.

He'd be a bit more naggy than Minghao but that was just because he was nervous and was trying to convey that he was worried about you.

If you ever fell or ran into anything in front of him, I could see him either shocked if you were seriously hurt or laugh hysterically if you were fine and laughing as well.

However, if you got hurt when he was not near by, he would get so sad he wasn't able to be your prince in shining armor and protect you.

-> S. Coups

tbh you would stress him the fuck out lmfaoo.

He would try to hide it in front of you because he didn't want you to feel guilty for it. You couldn't help you were prone to accidents!

With being a leader of 12 other people, having you to watch after to was pretty much a given.

However, because of being leader he wouldn't be able to watch you as often as Minghao or Chan could which is why he is a bit lower.

Believe me, he would 100000% be number one if he didn't already have the other 12 to worry about.

When he realized you were more of a clutz then Mingyu he'd want to wrap you in bubble wrap and keep an eye on you 25/8.

Unfortunately, (or fortunately) you were a brat and would tease him often with "nOt NeEdInG hIs HeLp" it and that might trigger his brat taming kink lmfao.

If you were to fall or run into idk a wall he would just sigh and rub his temples LMFAO. I can see him being like "are you sure about that, sweetheart? Boom. a bruise. Let me just take care of you."

tbh he'd probably also sulk if he found out you got hurt and he wasn't there to prevent it. It would not be his fault but expect flowers, your favorite take out, one of his jackets, and him to be at your door asap.

-> Seungkwan

You also would stress him the fuck out.

Unlike Cheol tho, he would show you and admit he was stressed out.

Not to make you feel guilty but that was the way he was communicating why we would nag/being over protective.

End of the day, he wanted you to be safe and not hurt at all.

If he ever made you feel bad by his nagging, he would apologize and try to calm it down but he couldn't help it. He was worried as hell about you.

If you ever tripped or got hurt in front of him, he would just sigh and rub his temple LOL.

ngl he might even side eye you because he warned you.

You might apologize for it even though it was an accident which would make him apologize and then make sure you were okay.

If you were hurt when he was not around, he would feel sick. He wouldn't show you this side but he might get teary eyed until he knew if you were okay.

bc like I said... end of the day he wants you to be safe.

-> Woozi

Look bestie's been lifting weights for a few different reasons

one being, to be able to help you with things so you wouldn't strain yourself.

Like do you need to lift a box or something? He's got you babe

Need a door opened? Jihoon's got you pookie.

He wouldn't vocalize that he was doing anything to protect you, he just would.. do it

anyway where was I? Oh yeah

so Jihoon would always try to be there for you and would try to do things for you so you could be safe.

However, if you tripped or hurt yourself infront of him, he would be flabbergasted and by your side within seconds to make sure you are okay.

If you got injured when he was not with you, I can see him being a bit more logical then other members and would make sure you were okay and try his best to not make you feel foolish. it might be hard tho.

-> Jeonghan

Sooo, basically similarly to Seungcheol and Seungkwan you would stress him the fuck out.

However, he would try to play it off and act like he wasn't that bothered.

Believe me tho, he was.

He'd show his stress not in front of you tho.

He would sigh if he heard something crash in the other room with you shouting "I'm okay Hannie, I swear."

Ngl he might ask if you were dumb as a joke to try to tease you.

He'd tease you a lot actually.

He'd say shit like "Gotta do this because SOMEBODY will prob break an ankle or something and we can't have that."

If you got hurt in front of him, I can see him either laugh or go "Aigoooo~ my baby."

If you ever got hurt when he was not around, expect clingy domestic Jeonghan to nurse you back to health and nag you to be more careful.

He'd feel sick if you were ever hurt to an extreme and he wasn't there to protect you.

-> Joshua

first things first, he would like to say he was a gentleman to you.

yet if you were to fall he would laugh LMAO

not to be malicious but more like "what the fuck?"

You were so interesting to him and your coordination or er lack of coordination skills was so fascinating to him.

Like how could you be standing next to him then on the floor within 5 seconds?! there was no obstacles. wtf Y/N?!

If you were to get injured in front of him, like I said he'd laugh but if it was serious. He would quickly be godsent gentleman mode and would take care of you to best of his abilities.

If you got hurt when he was not nearby, he would make sure you were okay mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, etc. Once he knew you were okay he'd prob make a cheeky comment just to make you laugh.

"Sometimes I feel like the floor gets more action than me? Fall on me next time baby?"

-> Wonwoo

No I didn't forget about Wonu I swear, I think he's toward the bottom and let me explain LOL

So, he would act like he was the best at protecting and would kinda act like Minghao, Seungcheol and/or Jeonghan.

He'd be a bit of a nagger kinda like Seunkwan ngl.

"Y/N, you need to be more careful. Kneecaps are important." "You need to take care of yourself." "Energy drinks aren't the only type of food you need to be healthy." etc.

However, if y'all were around Mingyu he was donezo and exposed.

Gyu would just be like "Hyung, you're one to talk."

Gyu would expose this poor man and would honestly protect you from his naggings.

However, if you fell in front of them after, Mingyu would realize Wonu was right in his nagging and you were a lost cause /lh LOL

If you ever were hurt in front of him, expect princess treatment. He would make sure you were okay.

If you were hurt when he was away, he would be one of the members that would drop everything and go straight to you. He would def be one of the more emotional members if you were hurt.

-> Vernon

tbh Joshua 2.0 LMAO

he'd laugh his ass off if you managed to trip over air in front of him.

Only time he wouldn't laugh on spot is if you accidentally banged your hip into a corner of the counter or something.

If anything, Hansol would just Hansol ya know?

Just a little "oh shit, you good?"

He'd do his best to help you not be so accident prone but after awhile, he just kinda realized it was bound to happen.

He still would try to help.

If you got hurt when he was not there, he would send you memes or something to lift up your spirits.

-> DK

Joshua 3.0.

He would fall to the ground laughing with you if you had tripped over air or whatever.

He would do his best to protect you from yourself but he also would try not to focus on your accident prone ways because he wouldn't want you to be embarrassed or feel bad about yourself.

Everyone has talents and yours is tripping over nothing or running into a corner every once in awhile.

Honestly, I could see him rate your accidents if he knew you were fine and just embarrassed LOL.

Like you would trip over your new puppy or something and he would be like "oooo i give that a 8 out of 10 LOL.

If you were ever hurt in front of him like actually, he would be soft and just make sure you were okay.

He might kiss it better? :')

If you were hurt when he was not near you, I could see him being similar to Wonwoo where he'd get emotional and just want to make sure you were okay.

He would call you as soon as possible and if he heard you rate your injury, he might scoff a bit but still laugh at your humor.

-> Hoshi

look, it's not that he doesn't want to protect you. he does.

A Tiger always needs to protect his Tigress ya know? I'm not sorry but pls still read my content LOLOLOL

Anyway, he would be similar to Joshua, DK, and Hansol where he'd laugh if you fell.

Most of the time, he knew you were not hurt.

Sometimes, he might compliment your spills and it might give him inspiration for a dance move.

Honestly tho, he is one of the more accident prone members too. Here's a comp I found if you don't believe me.

He'd joke, "we could be roomies if we both get hurt so it wouldn't be too bad." LOL

Jokes aside, if you ever did actually get hurt around Soonyoung he would baby you like no tomorrow. He might get a little emotional but that was because he didn't like to see his partner in pain whatsoever.

If you ever got hurt and he was away on schedules, he would be even more emotional. He'd blame himself. Even if logically it was not his fault, he would still feel awful he wasn't there to protect you.

-> Jun

He's a bit in his own world most of the time from what I've seen.

He still would try his best to protect you and make sure you were okay though.

I feel like maybe you would have to protect him more??

Or at least attempt too?

idk I feel like you both are so soft for each other that if one of you fell, the other would join the other person on the floor so you didn't feel alone.

If you were to fall or get hurt in front of him I can see him buffer a bit and then ask you what he should do.

He just didn't want to make situation worse.

If you were hurt and he was not there, he would be there as soon as he could just to make sure you were okay.

He'd NEVER nag you to be more careful. He just would want you to be okay.

L E A S T

-> Mingyu

Look he's too tall for his own good and sometimes his own limbs make him accident prone as well.

He really would try the best he could to protect you because well let's be real, out of all of Seventeen he would be the biggest simp.

However I can see him trying to help you up and falling in the process :(

There would be a lot of laughs though.

So much laughter.

Even if both of yall were a mess and occasionally accident prone, at least y'all could be that way together.

You both don't take that much serious and there would be other areas where Mingyu could show his "protective" and "dominant" side.

trust me he would too LOL.

If you ever got hurt in front of him, he would automatically go house husband and would wipe your wounds and carry you around like a princess.

shirt optional tbh

If you ever were hurt when he was away on schedules, he would be worried thoughout the duration of the schedule. If Seungcheol was there, he would tell him just to go check on you because he knew he was not fully there unless he knew his baby was okay :((((

ahhh hope this was okay <33

[holybibly]

My precious bunnies, I am happy to announce that I am finally back home. My holiday was more exhausting than relaxing, and frankly, once I was home in my soft bed with lots of fluffy pillows and soft silk pyjamas, I realised that I don't want to travel for a while.

My plan for the autumn is to be a pillow princess, no more travelling. Now I will have much more time to pamper and spoil you. So expect my full-length works soon.

I have also realised that I am a completely unsuitable person to travel and leave my home. Honestly, I dream of spending my days in fluffy blankets and being taken care of, and I am not very social. As a result, I came home covered in bruises that had appeared in a completely incomprehensible way, tired and exhausted from the summer heat.

Special thanks to my bunnies @starhwahwa and @softwsan who spent the whole journey with me, making it more comfortable and attractive. It's incredibly nice when someone cares so much for you, despite the thousands of miles between you.

Anyway, welcome to all the new bunnies in our kingdom and I hope you had a good summer. And I can say that the countdown to my favourite time of year has officially begun, bunnies.

Your one and only - and most beloved - bunny queen 💗💗💗

[tldix]

started with Trouble

pt. 2

pairing: joelmillerXf!reader

warnings: this one’s SAD yall, angsty asf. a bit of fluff, some implied anxiety, 2 mc deaths (not joel or reader), some mentions of depression. (as always lmk if i missed anything)

a/n: chapter 2 is here!!! again i am SO sorry for having such a heartbreaking chapter in store, i promise things do get better. only happy endings here. speaking of i have actually no idea how many parts this will be (im thinking anywhere from 6-10) i appreciate all the love, feedback, & support i got on the first chapter. i hope i can live up to all your expectations 🫶🏼🫶🏼

it was warm, it was honestly disheartening. your grandfather was sick, joel & tess started staying at your place. their apartment almost long forgotten, every book joel ever seen you pick up he brought over. most of their things took up the space in the spare room available. they traded shifts with you to watch after your grandpa so you could get some sleep. joel & tess decided it was best if they did most of the trades now, so you’d be allowed more time with your grandpa. this went on for weeks, playing chess with your grandfather, making sure he had his coffee, polishing any piece of jewelry either of you still owned. doing anything possible to keep your mind busy. joel noticed, he just didn’t know what to say. today was the day, you were finally seeing a doctor. it took a lot of charm & more ration cards than you’d care to ever admit but you felt the familiar sting at tears in your eyes as you approached the run down building. tears you’d never let shed anywhere but the bathroom floor of the moldy apartment

as you slowly walked your grandpa up the steps, he stumbles back. a fit of coughing catching you off guard, you quickly find your place at his side. guiding him the rest of the way, slowly entering the makeshift doctors office? could you really even call it that? there were 6 chairs lining the walls, a broken coffee table in the middle. your eyes scanned the room, a group of men a little older than you, bloody & bruised huddled close together. a kid in the corner, no older than 6. his eyes were bloodshot & from where you were sitting he looked like he was burning up. you took a seat, right beside your grandpa. you waited for seemingly hours. finally the doctor called his name

“alright grandpa cmon, i got you”

you say as you carefully help him up,holding his arm as you follow him into the exam room. the room was cold, a bitter cold. one that shook you right to your bones, the doctor asks for his symptoms, how long the pains been going on. you noticed a look the doctor & your grandpa shared. you find your brow furrowing but just as soon as the doctor noticed the gaze vanished as fast as it appeared. maybe you imagined it. after hearing his answers you chose it was best to tune it out. as the doctor examined your grandpa, his only responses were a exhausted nod & a few sympathetic glances your way. you hated doctors, even in the real world you’d have to be drug to one kicking & screaming. you weren’t happy to be here, you didn’t like pity. you especially didn’t like pity if it was coming from a 5’9 ‘doctor’ who seemed to clean for a world like this

you find yourself fidgeting with the hem of your shirt, the doctor steps in front of you. lightly tapping on your shoulder to get your attention

“can i speak with you outside for a moment?”

you stuttered, you didn’t expect him to pull you to the side. if anything was wrong wouldn’t he just tell grandpa? regardless you found your feet hitting the floor, trudging out of the room. you hear the sound of a door softly closing as you whip around, the doctors eyes hold so much sadness. so much pity, it makes you nauseous.

“maam, after my exam it’s come to my attention that your grandpas matter cannot be treated. i’m so sorry”

tears stinging your eyes again, you glance up praying for any sign of joking or maybe even dishonesty. that couldn’t be right, he was fine.

“um i’m sorry what? he uh he just started getting sick. it’s just a cough, he’s got no energy. maybe a virus?”

the doctor, Ben you’ve learned after reading his tag informs you

“i’m sorry maam. i wish it was, it appears your grandpa has symptoms of late stages of lung cancer. there’s nothing we can do from here but try our best to make him as comfortable as possible. if you need anything, stop by anytime”

your world shattered, there was no way. how could this be? the words cancer & no other way kept bouncing around in your mind. consuming you. you felt your knees buckle, the sobs came over you like a tide bringing you out to sea. your knees pressed into the worn concrete.

“ma’am, are you alright?”

ben, now kneeling down. placing a gentle hand on your shoulder. you quickly wipe your eyes, you find yourself nodding your head as you ask

“does he know?”

the doctor nods, not fully meeting your eyes.

“your grandpas been here before, a few months back. he voiced his concerns, he was an avid smoker & lung cancer runs in your genes.”

you tried to find comfort in his words but all you felt was misery, did he really know all this time? is that why he was so reluctant on coming here? coming back? you pushed open the door, eyes rimmed red

“trouble honey don’t cry, it’s alright. oh sweetheart i’m so sorry”

you quickly enveloped your grandpa in a hug, the doctor offers an apologetical nod before turning to find his next patient. you hesitantly walked your grandpa home, you made sure he got in his recliner. bringing him over a bottle of water & heating up a can of soup Joel had found last run.

“i’ll find medicine grandpa. you’ll get better, i’ll start going back out with joel & tess. i’ll find a cure”

your grandpas takes the soup carefully, sighing as he says

“ain’t no need for allat’ trouble. i’ve made my peace. i had a good life. there ain’t no cure out there for this”

the tears rim your eyes again, you plop down in the stool you drug over to sit beside your grandpa. you pick up his spoon & slowly start feeding him the soup; you know there’s no use in arguing with him. it’s clear he has his mind made up. as the night goes on you find yourself trying your hardest to tidy up. anything to distract yourself from the thoughts that threatened to consume you, you walk back to your seat. glancing over at your sleeping grandpa, you hesitantly pick up the copy of pride & prejudice joel brought over. opening it to the page you marked with a big maple leaf. after your eyes skimmed the same paragraph 6 times, you found yourself drifting off. your grandpas soft voice cut through right before the sleep sunk in.

“trouble, you awake hun?”

you quickly placed the book back down, quickly looking towards your grandpa. the sight your met with damn near breaks your heart, his dog tags. his most prized possession (besides you) hangs off the ends of his fingers.

“grandpa what are you doing?”

the tears are back, prickling & fighting for their way down.

“i’m givin you somethin to remember me by, cmon you used to play with em all the time growing up”

you carefully placed them in your hands, flipping them over letting the warm metal settle

“now trouble, when things get bad you get out of here. you don’t stick around. there’s gotta be more out there, a better life for you. one i couldn’t give you”

your grandpas eyes hold such a deep sadness, you weren’t sure how you’d ever missed it

“grandpa, i can’t just leave. you gave me the best life possible. you took care of me when no one else did. don’t say that”

he chuckles, wiping his own teary eyes

“you were my second chance at being the dad i never got to be, my biggest blessing in life. i’m so proud of you kid. just remember everythin i taught ya. things will work out fine”

you engulfed your grandpa in a hug, letting the tears fall as he tries to sooth you. eventually you find yourself scooting the couch as close as possible to him, wrapping your hand in his. as he was sure you drifted off to sleep he muttered

“i love you trouble, don’t accept no life you don’t deserve”

by morning; when you woke. your grandpa was cold, hand loosely holding yours.

-

the next morning, when joel & tess got back he was over the moon to announce the new found meds. well, the meds he traded most of his goods & a few ration cards for. he was practically beaming, over the last few months joel & your grandpa grew extremely close. bonding over how your grandpa was in the marines & how tommy spent some time in the army. your grandpa adored tess, said she was your sister in another life. it’s been a long time; a really long time before joel felt so… happy?

as he stumbles up your steps, tess not far behind he’s not expecting to be met with the corner. his heart drops to his stomach, the dirt around his eyes must surely be playing tricks on him. they were gone 2 days. only 2 days. what the hell happened.

tess steps infront of joel, pushing in the house to see the recliner empty. she trudged through until she found you; weeping in the corner of the moldy bathroom. joel was at a loss for words, how did this happen? wasn’t it just a cold? he rubs a hand through his hair as he takes in the scene, everything was so out of place. why was the couch half way across the room? why was the kitchen even darker than usual? why did that god for saken recliner have to be empty.

he wished he had answers, he wished he could find anything to say. just something that could measure up to the gap that was left behind, joel took in his surroundings. checking through the pieces of paper on your grandpas magazine stand mindlessly, his heart stops. a letter. addressed to joel. in seemingly your grandpas hand writing.

he glances around before hesitantly opening it, his eyes start to water as he begins to read. he couldn’t cry here. you needed him.

Joel,

weird getting a letter from a dead guy right? okay, yeah you’re right maybe it’s not the best time for my old man jokes. i know you have questions; i know you want answers so that’s what this is for. i know it ain’t like sitting in the living room, sharing some whiskey while we play chess but this is gotta do. has too.

lung cancer. that’s what the doc told me, said it was even more common now that the fuckin’ world ended. just my luck, survive them damn creeps just to be taken by something so stupid. who gets cancer after the world ends? in a world like this, things like cancer don’t cross your mind. i wish it had; maybe there would’ve been something i could’ve done sooner.

as far as my girl, trouble. please look out for her joel, i know it’s a lot to ask. i know you really can’t trust nobody no more but i trust you. i hate myself for bein such a coward. once i found out, i didnt know how to even say it. don’t think i wanted too. i dont wanna leave my little girl. promises are useless, you once told me this once & i agreed with you. but this, what im asking of you isn’t useless. call it my dying wish

get outta Boston, grab whatever gear i got & go. take trouble & tess away from here. (all those sewer shifts payed off. check the floorboards in the bathroom) FEDRAS only getting worse & it’s just a matter of time before them fireflies try to start shit here too. find a good life, a life you could all be happy. you’re a good man joel. don’t let this world break you.

love, grandpa.

-

a month had passed, joel mentioned the letter. you decided you’d read it when you needed too, thanking him but keeping it as short. in the front pocket of his pack, he kept it close wrapped around tinfoil so nothing would ever harm it. he took your grandpas last wish seriously. you were cold now, the light that once bounced in your eyes seemed to have vanished. joel returned back to his gruffness, keeping his eyes trained on you every second. a few more jobs, that’s all he had to do so you all could leave boston. tess & him drew up maps, planned as much as they could with you but ultimately decided they could figure it out. you were distant, tess was worried

“you think she’s okay”

tess finds herself asking joel, he decided to move his mattress into the living room. giving it to you & him taking the couch, he hardly slept. always keeping watch over you.

joel grunts as he slides the last few things in his pack, you only had 2 runs left. one for a battery & one for ammo.

“she’ll be helluva lot better once we’re outta here”

he grunts out, tess nods quietly. letting her eyes linger over your face. she notices the way the you grab at the dog tags while you slept, clinging to them like your life depended on it.

-

on the way to this trade, you seemed off. you always seemed off to joel these days, not that he’d ever mention it to you or even admit he noticed it but this was different. forgetting your jacket was the first tell. stumbling on some old rubble was the second. joel watched as you rubbed your shoulders trying to maintain any warmth your body produced. he hesitated, but ultimately without saying a word slides off his pack. taking off his jacket & handing it to you

you raise your eyebrows, the shock written clear as day over your face

“what’s this for?”

joel sighs

“you’re shivering. just take it”

you stare at the jacket for a beat before deciding to pull it over your shoulders. warmth spreading rapidly through that has absolutely nothing to do with the jacket.

the following night, after a successful run gaining their ammo it was called to celebrate. joel seen the light slowly returning to your eyes, you saw your grandpa in everything. you decided it was your reason to keep going, because he wanted you too. tess scored another bottle of whiskey, which was starting to be suspicious to joel. did she have a liquor supplier all this time & he was just oblivious? maybe distracted was the right word. he shrugged it off, quickly deciding if he did indeed know about the liquor distribution it probably wouldn’t have worked out in his favor.

you plop down on the couch, taking joels jacket off & sliding it onto the couch he’s been residing on. you plop down to your old smelly mattress, tess takes a seat beside you as joel finds himself settling into the worn couch.

an idea pops in your head, the led zeppelin cassette joel managed to get you still sat unplayed. after all the chaos with the runs & the death of your grandpa you didn’t feel as if you deserved even a smidge of joy. given the 3 shots you downed, you quickly had a change of heart. you skipped up & found your way over to the cassette player smiling

tess took notice of the way joel’s eyes lingered on you; following you like you were a special plate of china & the world around you was a bull. tess leans over, catching joel off guard as she whispers

“you’ve got it bad, don’t ya?”

despite the irritation, joel can’t help the faint smile tugging at his lips when tess averts her gaze back to you.

-

the last run, joel was estatic. well estatic in a joel grumpy miller way. you had all your supplies packed away. your grandpas dog tags hanging around your neck, the black bandana you found layering overtop of them. tess seemed happier, i mean joel & tess had plans to leave the QZ for months but never acted on it. they both silently agreed they couldn’t leave you behind. wouldn’t do it. so as heartbreaking as it was, when joel read the letter from your grandpa he made up his mind. it was now or never.

as things seem to go, especially since you appeared in joel’s life things were headed south. yep, this trade was going so far south he didn’t know how to handle it; not south in the ways you’d expect. everyone was safe, well everyone but Marlene & her crew. they got attacked. right before you all arrived, she was begging. pleading. if you deliver the kid, you’d get a full car. not just some rinky dink battery you were taking a 50/50 chance on. sounded easy enough. things weren’t ever “easy” anymore though. tess seemed to be right on board, joel reluctantly agreed but you didn’t seem okay with it at all. who brings a kid into this world? did she have anyone looking after her? it’s obvious she seemed pretty cared for but was this a set up? you tried to push down these thoughts, she really is just a kid after all. what’s the worst that could happen?

marlene speaks up, seemingly trying to speak only to tess

“she’s not cargo, she’s important. you just have to get her to the safe house”

you find yourself crossing your arms, the hesitance apparent on your face as you ask

“what’s so important about one kid?”

marlene visibly is getting annoyed, you can’t really tell if it’s that or the fact she has a bullet wound in her gut

“that’s none of your business trouble”

you pushed off the wall, heading out the door & finding a shaded spot near the concrete walls. you pull an apple out of your bag, cutting it in 2 as you snack on it. 5 minutes later, joel’s the first one out the door. grunting & muttering to himself, tess steps out with the girl

joel is immediately skeptical, you’re openly annoyed

“we don’t do babysitting”

he gruffs out in the direction of tess & the girl, ellie.

“especially for teenagers”

you add. regardless of how you feel, you accept the job. joel doesn’t hesitate after hearing your agreement, knowing it’s the best chance of getting out of the QZ they had.

-

from the moment you met ellie, it was clear as day you’d bump heads. ellie’s sarcasm & rebellious nature annoyed you to no end. maybe it’s because you’re used to being the sharpest tongue of the group, always quick with a witty comeback. but this girl? she was like sarcasms final boss.

ellie grins widely, glancing around at life outside the compound.

“so who’s the grumpy old man & the bossy lady?”

you deadpan, eyeing ellie as you say

“don’t matter. im the one wholl leave your ass behind if you don’t shut it”

ellie snickers, finding her steps falling back to match tess

“oh i like her”

tess snickers to herself, letting her head drop to her feet. ellie smiles brightly, maybe things would be more interesting than she initially thought.

-

3 days pass as they make the trek, they have to move through a subway station. it’s not ideal. even in the slightest, everyone knows that but seemingly ellie. you know she’s just a kid, she never had a life outside of this. she doesn’t know what runners & clickers even are really. this is what makes you the angriest, they send this girl to school. teaching her things that were deemed “necessary” but to you, everything she learned was bullshit. why wouldn’t you teach kids about this type of thing? why did they need to know about photosynthesis but not how to shoot a rifle. you shook your head in disbelief but found yourself never uttering a word about it. you’d probably get looked at like you were crazy. who in their right mind would willingly give a 14 year old a gun? yeah, maybe you were officially losing it.

in the subway; you stay behind ellie. joel leads, you make sure she ducks down when she should, turning off her flashlight so it wouldn’t draw the attention of any runners. it was ridiculous, like teaching a toddler to walk. did no one care about this girls safety? joel made quick work of every runner around, deciding it’d be easier to sneak around the clickers than just running into a losing battle. the nod & barely audible grunt he gave you was enough to know this was the plan.

everyone picked up on it, well. besides ellie of course, she charged a clicker. head on, stabbing it in the neck multiple times. 2 more clickers made their way quickly to the group, joel took one down as the other tried desperately to gnaw on tess. you scuffled up, ran over & threw tess your knife. she stabbed it, letting it go limp on her body. as you pull it away you find yourself spinning around to ellie

“do you ever listen? no. you’re reckless kid, & one day it’s gunna get you killed”

ellie chuckles

“yeah well maybe i’ve picked that up from you”

joel leans against the wall, hearing the entire argument he decides to speak up. trying his absolute hardest to hide the smallest smirk falling on his face.

“she’s got a point trouble. kids just a smaller version of you”

both you & ellie glare at him, shouting in unison

“shut up, joel”

-

fuck. that’s all you could think when the FEDRA officers stopped you. they grabbed tess aggressively, pulling her to her knees as they check her. making sure she’s not infected, the bulkier officer throws ellie to the ground.

“hey she’s a kid, get the fuck off her”

struggling under the officers weighted grip you try to break away. he pushes you harder, enforcing you to the ground.

“check em”

one of the officers says, an officer joel recognized as a man he often made deals with. a man who warned joel before they left that FEDRA wasn’t playing around, they were taking curfew seriously since they got word of a potential firefly attack.

nick, the officer joel recognizes speaks in the radio

“got 4 here. breaking curfew. armed”

you hold your breath, feeling the familiar sting of the scanner as it shoots through your neck. green. they move to joel, you glance at him seeing the fear in his eyes. why was he so scared? he was always fearless. green. at the last second, as the last officer moves to scans ellie he hears another officer cut through the radio

“kill em”

joel acted before he thought, he quickly took down nick. slashing at his throat before you pounced on the bulkier officer. tess quickly sprung into action helping you take the man down. as you back peddled & stood your face dropped. tess was holding the scanner, only it was red. infected. your hand slaps over your mouth, joel looks at ellie furiously as he quickly grabs his rifle

ellie looks panicked

“wait wait. it’s old. it’s 3 weeks old. it’s healed see”

she raised up the arm of her long sleeve, showing a scar over the bite. could it really be healed? sure there was rumors there were some potential immune out there. you never personally met anyone so you just chalked it up to some urban legend people started to find peace in this bat shit world.

you quickly find yourself standing infront of ellie, almost instinctively. joel hesitantly lowers his weapon as he meets your eyes. you try to signal everything was okay, if it wasn’t it’d be on you. the look joel gave you, was one you hadn’t seen in a long long time. the look of lucifer you called it, he straps up his weapons as he quickly makes his way away from the scene before you.

you jog up to him

“don’t worry joel. it looked healed. maybe she really is immune. she’s just a kid”

joel grunts, not meeting your eyes as he says

“kids can turn too. dont mean shit”

you roll your eyes, sighing as you find yourself back in step with tess. ellie lingering not far behind. she knew you’d find out, she really wanted to tell you but what did that matter now? the truth was out. joel hated her even more, tess seemed so hesitant with her but you? she couldn’t wrap her head around why you ran in front of her. she assumed you & joel were together, if not then extremely close. why would you jump infront of a gun, the man you seemingly loved was holding just to protect some random girl you met only days ago.

as you find your way into an abandoned warehouse; joel turns to tess

“are you sure this is a good idea?”

tess sighs, fighting back her own fears. biting them back, deciding she’d rather choke on them than voice them. she knows the girl can’t handle anymore doubt.

“yes joel, we need a car.”

ellie is sitting on the ground, a few feet from you as she digs out a nicely wrapped sandwich. you look at her in disbelief as she slowly snacks on it, you shake your head turning your attention back to tess & joel

“i mean it tess. if she so much as twitches”

ellie well being ellie, starts twitching. earning her a glare from tess but a quite chuckle from you. joel turns to you, glaring disapprovingly. he could barely handle one of you, let alone 2. he was in a world of trouble

-

tess. that seemed to be the only word your mind would spin around. it wasn’t supposed to be like this. tess was supposed to be here through the end. you were supposed to find a new beginning together. your bestfriend. you feel ellie tugging you towards joel as tess stands before you. she smiles at you, a smile you’d commit to memory. a smile you’d never let your mind forget, as she admits she is indeed infected. how could this happen? there’s no way tess, the only other person in the world you trusted other than joel could die. you’ve already lost too much. she mouths.

“i love you, stay outta trouble for me”

the tears brimming your eyes can’t even begin to explain the rage you feel. the hurt & the misery. tess couldn’t be gone. no. that’s impossible. just yesterday she was helping you braid your hair. the day before she was picking nuts with ellie, teaching her which ones she could eat & which ones would make her deathly sick.

every impossible thing, or seemingly impossible thing your mind wandered too you couldn’t help but admit they didn’t happen. your grandpa died. leaving you alone. you left boston qz. you took in a 14 year old girl to smuggle. tess died.

your minds spinning, you’re running on rage. as the light at the end of the tunnel blares through you make quick work on climbing up to it. breathing in the fresh air, letting the tears fall

joel stays back with ellie, avoiding every question. keeping his eyes trained on your back. he’s hurting, tess was his partner. his bestfriend. but you? god he can’t imagine how you feel. loss after loss. heartache after heartache. he lets his mind slip to how he felt the night he lost sarah, could you be feeling that bad? joel promised himself he’d never let you turn into the type of person he was. a vengeance hungry, rage driven man.

ellie starts her questioning early, like who was tess to joel. who was she to you. he reluctantly answered the first few

“tess was my friend, was troubles best friend. knew her real long time.”

joel decides to keep it short, give ellie enough information to keep her satisfied but nothing was ever enough with this girl

“how long did you know tess?”

joel sighs, becoming quickly fed up. he doesn’t know why he thought he could do this. talk about her like he wasn’t still processing everything that just happened.

“look, kid. we’re setting some rules. rule 1. don’t bring up tess. ever. let’s keep our histories to ourselves. 2. don’t tell anyone about your uh. condition. people out there won’t think twice’ they’ll think you’re crazy or you’re lyin’. rule 3. do what i say, when i say it. no arguing bout it.”

joel looks to ellie, seeing if she’s taking any of this in or just downplaying it

“ellie.you taking this seriously? repeat it back to me.”

ellie sighs as he kicks a rock, she looks up to see you crouching down fishing out your water bottle as the top of the tunnel.

“do what you say, when you say it”

-

joel half expected you to turn cold like you did when you lost your grandfather, seeing you still laughing with ellie or teasing him made his heart swell. he knew you both missed tess, he also knew that there was an unspoken agreement between you two about not mentioning tess. you learned you liked coping with your grief privately. crying to yourself while you were on watch while joel pretended to sleep. he wanted to comfort you, let you comfort him. he wanted you to know he was there, literally right there & he’d stop the world if you asked him too. he ultimately understood, he didn’t pry. he’s no stranger to loss, over the years he just got better at dealing with it.

as the weeks pass on, you & joel both realize ellie’s lack of discipline was a major problem, she confirmed your suspicions that she grew up without her parents. she never really had any idea of authority other than teachers or marlene. no shocker there you thought as you strapped up your boots.

during the journey ellie finds herself constantly wandering off, finding any & everything about the outer world interesting. at first you found it endearing, that was until it often more times than not resulted with ellie in some sort of trouble. once being “quick sand” like mud, the next her being swarmed by runners as she climbed up a tree. ellie always seemed to get out just in the nick of time, it didn’t ease any of your anxieties though. as you drag her away from the sunflower field back to the makeshift camp you & joel put together you turn to her. scolding

“do you have a death wish? or are you just stupid?”

ellie chuckles, finding the scolding more amusing then fearful

“relax mom, i was just looking around”

you freeze, you know ellie’s teasing. even though you can’t deny you wouldn’t mind having such a bad ass kid, ellie was talented. she was smart & witty & super fucking cool. you couldn’t deny it, hell even joel wouldn’t deny it. you find yourself muttering

“don’t call me that”

as you briskly walk away, ellie laughs lightly as joel just grunts. he notices the way your shoulders tensed. the way you were like a deer in headlights, he couldn’t imagined he’d act any differently if roles were reversed. he decided against following you; taking back to his back of skinning a rabbit.

-

one night by the fire, after you finally convinced joel to sleep you found yourself missing your grandfather & tess. you always missed them but tonight was different. you let your mind wander to the “what if they were still here”. you know your grandpa would’ve insisted on playing chess everytime you made camp, you knew tess would find some way to make the situation seem safer. she had such a good way of just making everything feel okay, even if she was intimidating as shit.

you kept seeing flickers of silver in the moon light, you knew ellie wasn’t asleep. her breaths weren’t gentle & she was squirming too much. you glance over to her

“something on your mind kiddo?”

ellie hesitates before she sits up, pulling out the switchblade into your view as she sighs

“someone gave me this. before they, ya know”

you find yourself nodding, understanding the weight of loss. if anyone did; it was you.

“i get it. i carry my grandpas dog tags everywhere it’s stupid but-“

ellie cuts you off almost immediately, not even letting you utter the last words of your sentence. you look up to her shaking her head profusely

“it ain’t stupid”

-

joel finds himself stuck between your fiery personality & ellie’s stubbornness more often times than not. he doesn’t say much, letting the excitement or the argument die out on its own. a few times he’s had to intervene, reminding you of the task at hand. the fireflies. getting the car. maybe finding tommy? he hasn’t brought this up to you yet. he tells himself it’s the fear of you declining but he knows you’d be more than happy too, maybe he need to swallow the truth. what if tommy’s no longer out there waiting for him? the last time he heard from tommy, was from the radio months ago. he knew tommy was apart of some firefly group out west but that’s all the information he knew about it. he hated the fireflies, almost as much as he hated FEDRA. both groups seemed to be good at one thing, ripping is family from him.

as the day moves on, he can’t help but let his thoughts move to you. it’s been so long since he felt any sort of attraction. he tried so desperately hard to shove these feelings down, bury them so deep that they’d never resurface. after losing tess, it just pushed you both closer. he realized he was moving his sleeping bag closer to yours & ellies, he noticed the way he sacrificed anything possible just for you two to have more. food, water, sleep. it didn’t matter to joel, the only thing that did was the hope that maybe. just maybe, you’d eventually feel something for him.

joel watches you with ellie, seeing the way your eyes light up as she sketches any & everything you suggest. the way you smile to yourself as your do ellie’s hair, the way you read a chapter of frankenstein to her every night. he loved listening to your endless bickering. he knew ellie adored you, even if she refused to actually tell you

“you’re good with her, lot better than you think”

did he really just say that out loud? since when did joel speak his mind about any sort of feelings?

you shake your head, averting your gaze past the fire to where ellie lays with her back turned. a small smile graces your face & joel swears his heart grows 3 times the size

“she hates me cowboy”

joel chuckles, half for hearing the word cowboy leaving your mouth after months of just calling him joel or miller. he couldn’t be happier; the other half for how oblivious you are too the seemingly perfect match you & ellie made.

“she’s just like you. that’s why yall clash”

you shake your head, quickly standing & finding your way to your sleeping bag. leaving joel to stand on watch, he loved being on watch. knowing for 100% certain he could protect you & ellie made him content. every bristle of leaves his gaze darted around the forest. in all actuality he knows, you made sure they went so far out that there was no way any things lived out here.

“maybe a fucking bear or two though”

ellie muttered behind you; you stifled a laugh. as joel replayed this memory he’s started by ellie quickly plopping down in front of the fire before joel

“so you & trouble, huh? that’s so bad ass”

joel grunts

“ain’t like that”

ellie chuckles

“sure it’s not”

-

[new-revenant]

Alright! Time to share all of what I have of the 4th chapter. It’s not much, but hey, it’s something. Here is the Ao3 link to the other 3 chapters. And unfortunately, the story is on indefinite hiatus because I just. Couldn’t do it ha, got overwhelmed and majorly burnt out. Anyhow, hope you enjoy what I do have. 872 words.

Edit: Opps! Forgot to tag you haha @bianca-hooks123

When Danny woke up, he was surprised at how refreshed he felt. He really hasn’t a good night’s sleep in a while, huh. His body didn’t ache, his left arm finally felt normal, and the bruises he had were gone. If not for still being trapped in his ghost form, he would’ve been having the time of his life!

As he sat up, Danny noticed that his tray of food was unfortunately gone. But, he now had a new tray of food, breakfast edition! It still had the same mix of human and Tamaranean on it, which was nice. His water bottle was refilled, accompanied by a cup of strawberry milk right next to it.

Danny quickly set out to eat all of the food, like eating the dry cereal and then drinking the entirety of the milk right after, as God intended. He didn’t eat as fast as he did last night-er, before he fell asleep. He honestly had no idea what time it was, and couldn’t see a clock nearby. A clock.

Clockwork.

Danny had to stop eating for a moment, trying to calm down the rage that was beginning to simmer. It’ll all be fine, everything back home would be fine, he just needs to pass whatever this test is and punch Clockwork in the face, then he’d be good to go. But what about this universe? Would he be able to go back here? Would he need to? Would he want to?

Danny shook his head, “No time to worry about that,” he muttered to himself, “Just eat your food, and read this note you just noticed was here.”

Danny picked up the note that he must’ve missed because he was too focused on the food. It was not written in English, or had any letters he was familiar with, and he was pretty sure spoken English here was the same as it was in his universe. It was most likely in one of the written languages of Tamaraneans, since everyone-expect Batman-thought he was a Tamaranean.

Danny flipped the note around, hoping for an English translation. The back of the note had more writing, but it was still in Tamaranean. Well that sucked. Now he has to find someone to read the note, and considering the note’s in Tamaranean, it was probably from either Starfire or Nightwing, maybe saying that they were off doing stuff. Even if Danny couldn’t read it, he did have a half-decent intuition!

With a sigh, Danny put the note back down and decided to finish his breakfast. It was so good, definitely better than anything his parents cooked for him. Who would definitely be okay if Nocturn was to be believed. Wait, was Nocturn telling the truth? Danny shook his head again, he had to believe Nocturn, for the sake of his own sanity.

Once Danny finished his food, he got out of the bed, and looked around the infirmary. He noticed three things; one, there was a clock in here and showed that it was 3 o’clock-whether it was AM or PM he didn’t know, two, someone else was in infirmary, and three, there was a box right in front of his bed.

First things first, the person in the bed was someone he hasn’t seen yet, with white, giant wings on their back. They looked they were in pain and was hooked up to something. They were already awake and was looking over at Danny.

“Ah, hello there kid,” they said with a small wave, “I’m Hawkgirl, glad you’re feeling better. Heard you weren’t in such a good state when you came in here.”

“Well, this is the infirmary,” Danny joked, “But I think I just used up too much energy.”

“Didn’t you also fall hundreds of feet from the sky?”

“Wow news spreads fast here huh? I healed pretty quickly from that though.”

“If you count being asleep for two days fast, then yes, you have.”

“I’m sorry, I’ve been asleep for how many days?” Danny couldn’t believe it, two days? That means he’s already been gone for…two minutes back home so he probably didn’t need to worry about that.

“You’ve been asleep for two days,” Hawkgirl’s voice held a pinch of sadness as she spoke, “I wish I could convert Earth days to Tamaranean days, but I don’t know the conversion rate. Starfire might, but she’s on-world right now.”

“It’s okay. Also do you um, know how to read this?” Danny showed her his note, “I can’t read.”

Hawkgirl inhaled sharply, with Danny already knowing what she was going to say and he groaned.

“Yeah yeah you don’t know either, it’s fine,” Danny pinched the bridge of his nose, “Uh, newtopicnewtopic…how are you doing? Got injured in a fight?”

“Unfortunately, yes, I have,” Hawkgirl sighed, “This strange, ghost-like creature managed to mess up some of my internal-“

“Wait a minute, er-sorry for interrupting you but did you say ghost? Like the see-through dead guys?”

“I’m unsure, Batman is looking into it. Oh, and he left that box of clothes for you not too long ago.”

“Ah, that’s what the box was for. Well, I’m going to wander around this spaceship-thing until I find a place to change.”

[yandere-romanticaa]

To the anon who was asking abt sex! Here’s my two cents based off of experience..

1. Cockwarming is not like,,, pleasurable. Like when I read fics abt it and the reader is all squirmy and whatever it really doesn’t make sense. If the guy isn’t moving then it doesn’t really feel like anything, and it gets a little uncomfortable after a few minutes of no movement. It’s kinda like using a tampon. I definitely think that the pleasure derived from this is more mental than physical. Only the guy really gets anything physical out of it.

This kind applies to vibrators too. Like internal vibrators are not crazy stimulating but it is enough to make you distracted. But to each their own I suppose.

2. Sex in general. Internal stimulation (P in V) is good, and if I had to describe it I would say it feels like a bruise repeatedly. It’s hard to describe. Like it hurts but not in an ‘ow’ way, it feels good. Definitely a feeling that gets the legs shaking after repeated thrusting against that spot.

BUT, I cant finish without stimulation to my clit. It’s definitely different for everybody, but in my case I need clitorial stimulation or else it just feels like I’m on the edge the whole time (which, by the way, is a very unsatisfying feeling).

And thrusting it all in like in one go isn’t possible, remember that your vagina is one giant muscle, and when you stretch a muscle to hard and fast it strains and it doesn’t feel good. Foreplay is very helpful bc it loosens you up first, but even then you can’t force it in at one go. You kinda gotta start with the tip first and use short movements to slowly fit the whole thing in.

AND YES!!! THE STRETCH HURTS!!!! If you aren’t prepared properly or your partner just shoves it in it feels like your skin is being stretched (like a rubber band being stretched so much that it’s about to snap) and it’s a sharp pain and you could tear. SO FOREPLAY MATTERS!!!!

3. Cervix stuff… 😭😭😭 Guys. You can NOT thrust into the cervix. These fics are LYING TO YOU!!! It’s literally like trying to thrust through bone, the cervix is hard and even inserting thin items like a Q tip fucking HURTS. Unless it’s like monster fucking with ovipositors then it’s just straight unrealistic. A díck can NOT push through.

Some women find it painful even when their cervix is just thrusted against. (It doesn’t hurt for me so I don’t mind but majority of all the gals I’ve spoken to DONT like it. One of my friends even threw up during sex one time from the pain.)

4. Mind break. Not a real thing. Sorry. After so many rounds, no matter how high your drive is, the sex just starts to feel uncomfortable. Don’t push yourself past that point, listen to your body and know your limits. Because once it feels uncomfortable it kinda starts to hurt. This applies for the guys too. It just stops feeling good after a while and you leave that sort of lust-haze and become very lucid (post-nut clarity LMAOOO), which also makes you feel the discomfort even more.

So yeah, mind break via sex just isn’t a thing because your body literally has a limit. Overstimulation is real but your body has limits for that too. Like after so many orgasms I can’t touch my clit or it feels like a sharp pain. (Again, everyone is different but that’s just me)

And yeah. That’s all I can rlly think of.

This was an interesting read!!!!! I think that smut may or may not have poisoned my brain a little bit so this felt like a breath of fresh air. Of course, one should never take smut too seriously as it is primarily for entertainment, but it really does feel like things can mess you up if you're an inexperienced pookie such as myself!

Truth be told, sex scares me. Like, a lot.

I am in my early 20's and there is this societal expectation that I need a boyfriend. I also live in a fairly conservative country which honestly doesn't help me at all. And it's low key expected from couples to just go at a few months into the relationship, sometimes even after a few weeks depending on the person. That's how most of my friends/acquaintances did it anyway.

Just the thought of a man seeing me so naked and vulnerable like that, it brings tears to my eyes. It legit scares me so much. Buddy, if you see me in my birthday suit you are NOT going anywhere LMAO, you'll have to marry me, I'm sorry -

I've been called an uptight and boring prude for having this kind of mentality and I get it. But I can't help it, I just can't. I don't think I'll ever be able to have that kind of physical connection with anyone unless I know them inside and out 😓 I'm too scared and too insecure for my own good... I also have a few stretch marks on my stomach, which I really hate, I really do. I don't think I could handle the humiliation of another person ever seeing them.

[piratefishmama]

Crossing The Line | Part 4

“What the fuck is that?” Was Robins immediate question as Steve donned a pair of sunglasses and a cap just before disembarking the plane.

“My disguise.”

“Your disguise?”

“Yeah, y’know. Fans an stuff.”

“...Steve. Steven. I’m always here to keep you humble, you know this, so I say this with an immense amount of—”

“Robin do you remember the JFK incident? Not the president don’t be a shit, I mean the airport and you know it.” The JFK incident being a single fan who got ONE photo of him walking through the terminal and boom, paparazzi everywhere, it was as though they’d just emerged from the walls.

‘What are you doing in New York?’

‘Are you visiting anyone special this Christmas?’

‘When are you releasing new music?’

‘Will you be attending any events here in the city?’

‘Who are you wearing right now?’

‘STEVE SIGN MY TI—’

It was always chaos. “Yeah yeah you got to sign an impressive set of double D’s, woe is you. I can see your moles Steve, that isn’t going to fool anyone with eyes.” Sure his signature head of hair was covered but the moles were as good a sign as any when it came to eagle eyed Airport celeb spotters.

“Sign an impressive— my ass was grabbed more times than I could count! I had hand sized bruises Robin!” He bruised like a peach and people in crowds were grabby. “I lost my favourite sunglasses.” The cheap pair he’d grabbed from the gas station after his first real paycheque cleared. “These cover my hair and my eyes, I can’t cover anything else.” He didn’t have the resources to pull a full face of SFX to hide himself.

“Aww poor baby, okay. At least put this on.” She pulled the scarf from her neck and wrapped it around his, it wouldn’t do much, but it’d cover the vampire bite moles he’d shown off on one of his early album covers.

“Great I look like a twenty-ten hipster.” It wasn’t even scarf weather. “All I need is a bullshit moustache.”

“Better than the local weirdo at a kids playground.”

“Oh my god, is that Steve Harrington?!”

“Shit.”

“Rest in pieces, sis”

“Robin get back here!”

There was a subtle art in getting away from paparazzi and fans alike, an art cultivated from being chased by them since he was nine. It involved fake plants, bathrooms, and Robins impressive gallery of ‘fake fan photos’. All it took was a photo whizzed over the internet through Robins ‘fan’ account, an account which used one of their regular makeup girls photos as a cover (agreed to, of course) to act as a ‘fan’ of Steve Harrington.

“How come nobody TOLD ME Steve Harrington was going to be flying out of Indy today?!” Captioned above a photo from two years prior that Robin took from a distance at that very airport for that very reason.

It took all of five minutes for the hoard to dispel, hurrying as fast as they could to as far as the airport staff would allow them to go, but Robin and Steve were once again free to get their asses out of that airport and into an Uber before anyone else could spot them.

“Okay, battle plan. I got us a twin room at the—"

“Don’t say Conrad.”

“What’s wrong with the Conrad?”

“It’s… bougee. It’s like the only five star in Indy, he already probably thinks I’m the worst, a nice four star would be fine, and a twin room? Robin how the hell am I supposed to woo a guy and bring him back to the hotel if we’re sharing a room?”

“First of all, I think you’re super overestimating your level of game right now to think that you’d just be able to go from wooing to the hotel room in one sweep this guy seems like highkey mom’s basement dwelling virgin, dude probably scampers, second, we don’t even know if he enjoys the male form, and third... honestly I’m expecting you to strike out so we can have a sleepover with facemasks and chocolates. But fine, fine, what hotel would you like?” Robin passed him her phone with the booking app already loaded.

“Your faith in me is truly what gets me through my days, Robin.” He was choosing to ignore the panic inducing idea of what if he isn’t even into guys?!

“I aim to please.”

“What about an apartment? See there’s one here, two double bedrooms, four star rating, we can book now and grab the keys at reception.”

“Fine, fine, you’re making all the food though, since you’ve robbed me of my five star room service.”

“I’m cool with that.” A few buttons pressed, details auto filled, booking complete. Indianapolis, here they come!

Part 6

[isthe-protag-cluelesstho]

Okay, probably not a hot take, but imma scribble about it anyway,

I honestly think Cale Hetinuse/Kim Rok Soo has chronic pain/fatigue.

Like, everybody loves the whole coughing up blood/wet meow meow thing he's always doing, but personally? People who are that nonchalant about Shit Happening To Their Body, are typically people who are waaaaay too used to Fucked Up Shit Happening To Their Body,

It's just a head canon, but as someone who is chronically in pain, I absolutely do some of the stupid shit CH/KRS does, like carrying stuff I should NOT be carrying, or continuing to Do Things even when I should be sitting and resting. I also know several people who (like me) can be experiencing level 4-5 pain and not show a hint on their face/through their actions besides maaaaybe moving a bit slower/stretching more

And we know KRS has been on his own since he was itty bitty... And then he grew up in a world hell bent on killing everyone. I can't help but think that a tiny child with no one to help him with the general cuts/bruises/little hurts of childhood would 1) have zero frame of reference for what "okay" actually looks like 2) probably has never really received medical care beyond emergency assistance (which does jack for chronic conditions) and 3) has NEVER really had someone in his life long enough for them to catch his way of coping with pain (my very close friends can hear when I'm hurting/tired, everyone else only notices if I am visibly incapacitated)

So, Kim Rok Soo ends up in a world/body that "technically" hasn't experienced his life, HOWEVER fibromyalgia and PTSD are like goddamn pb&j. It's a condition that is deeply tied to a body's stress response. And what does Cale say once he has the Heart? "I feel BETTER"

And that just speaks to me of a person who is so used to pain, that it no longer really registers... I had daily headaches for 7 years, it wasn't until I moved and got a new primary that I found out that more than 4 headaches in a month was considered a concern... I got on some migraine meds and actually stopped having that daily headache, something id just accepted as "how my body works" gone,

I personally don't consider pain at a 1-2 as particularly bothersome, it's more like a general annoyance. Onces it's up to 6-7 it's hard for me to move, and yet I often will still do so, despite the pain. It's only at 9-10 so I stop moving entirely and focus on just weathering it. Usually when that happens, I sleep so much after as my body tries to recover.

And when I read Cale, so casually continuing forward, despite the work he takes on himself, after the constant planning and prepping and ass kicking, all I see is a person who has lived so long with his body's suffering that it's just background noise. Yeah, he coughed up some blood, but the pain is back to "normal" so how can he raise a fuss? He killed 3 monsters with a dislocated shoulder that one time, this? This is easy. And despite claiming his body is weak, he refuses to truly accept the help and rest he needs because (like I used to) Cale thinks "this is just how my body works"

Sometimes, I cannot remember how I lived prior to my pain. Sometimes, I cannot imagine a world where I do not spend half the night attempting to force my muscles to relax, so I can actually sleep. I cannot imagine a world where I am able to do everything I want in a day and not collapse at the end. And I see so much of myself in how Cale continues to move despite the weight of the ancient powers, the expectations of the gods and his own personal hopes. He seems like a character doomed to continue walking, his bones broken but refusing the care because whats the point if everything still hurts the same way in the end?

Anyway, Raon should invent a cure for chronic illness and force Cale into a year long sabbatical

[legitalicat]

Out of Time

Chapter 2 - "Through the Gardens"

AN: Thank you all so much for the love on chapter 1! It truly was unexpected but I'm so grateful. I hope as the story continues, the love for it does as well! This dedication has been removed.

If you love this header go check out zaldritzosrose for more amazing work! She is tagged on the series masterlist and on my welcome post!

Find the series Master list here!

Summary: From her room, through the gardens, to the Dragon Pit, their route was always the same. Aemond and Y/N walked that path so much when they were younger it was a wonderful there wasn't a permanent foot path burnt into the earth. Between two dragons, everything burns with a deep intensity.

TW: mentions of being forcefully drugged/intoxicated, talks of injury, near palpable grief, reader is AFAB, romantic/sexual tension, first person POV, Aemond giving Ser Erryk the biggest crisis of his life for approximately five seconds

Pairings: Aemond Targaryen x Velaryon!Reader, talks of Jacaerys Velaryon x Velaryon!Reader, ghost of a thought of Aegon Targaryen ii x Velaryon!Reader.

Word Count: 2.8 k

The Grand Maester and his younger assistant both seemed relieved with what they found. They said my ribs were cracked but were mostly healed at this point. My lip would heal in a few days. There was no evidence of my captors violating me, which caused mother to let out a sigh of relief. I had at one point had a broken wrist but it had been long since healed. The rest of the bruises and any cuts were superficial, the more extreme wounds now being pink scars.

“And her memory?” she asked the men.

“It is highly possible she was kept drunk or under some form of intoxication these last years. If that is the case, she may regain memories but I do not feel comfortable guaranteeing such a thing,” the Grand Maester said to her. I appreciated his honesty as I imagined sitting in his seat, telling the Queen the opposite of what she would want to hear.

When she dismissed them, we sat in front of my fireplace together. There were so many things I wanted to convey, but my brain couldn’t form the words. There was nothing adequate I could say or do to ease her mind, so I just sat with her in silence and watched the flames dance.

The flames seemed redder than normal with a slight shimmer to them. It was something I was certain I had never seen before but the shimmer mesmerized me. In my mind I could see it, having captured the flames in a small vial. There was a glow to the vial as the red shimmery substance flowed along every part of the glass. I imagined it tasting smoky but comfortable and pleasant, leaving me feeling warm as I drift to sleep.

I couldn’t tell you where these thoughts were coming from. All I knew is it felt simultaneously too real to just be my imagination and too ridiculous to be real.

“I think grandsire’s crown suits you,” I commented, smiling over at her. She had been so concerned over her place for years that actually seeing her with the golden crown resting on her head granted me a happiness I had never expected.

She smiled back at me. “It weighs heavily on my head at times,” she told me honestly. “Yet I am grateful it came as it was supposed to.”

Mother didn’t have to explain to me further what she meant. Though I had doubted Aegon’s desire to take the Throne, Otto Hightower was a conniving man. It would’ve been far too easy for him to succeed if Alicent hadn’t put a stop to his plans. I imagine he had planned for Aegon to wear the Conqueror’s Crown, to make people think he was more deserving.

Imagining Aegon adorning the Conqueror’s Crown caused my cheeks to heat up. He was very handsome and always had been. When I was little, I thought Aegon hung the moon and stars, and I followed him around like a lovesick puppy dog. Before I had more of an understanding of what Jace and I were, before Aemond made it clear how he wanted me, I thought Aegon was my future. In fact, he almost was.

I distinctly remember my mother approaching me before she had Joffrey. Jace and I were only seven and were becoming increasingly aware of our place in the world. One of us would be heir once she took the Throne, a decision she allowed us to make. She told me she wanted to suggest a marriage between Aegon and I if I were okay with it, which even at seven I knew would be best for our family. It was a no brainer for me. Even so, it did not come to fruition as Alicent adamantly refused.

“I think I shall go see Vhaela,” I told her, standing slowly. As long as I moved slowly, my ribs did not hurt so much.

“I have assigned Ser Erryk to watch over you, he shall accompany you,” she told me, standing herself.

Just as I was about to protest, I bit my lip and held my tongue when I saw her face. Fear could be seen on her every feature. I wondered if she now felt uneasy as I would be out of her sight for the first time all afternoon. Could she be worried I would disappear again?

“Okay, mama,” I said with a small smile. I hugged her as tightly as I could, wishing I could fix all the holes in her heart my disappearance caused.

After a moment, I pulled away and gave her a small smile before leaving my room. I nodded to Ser Erryk in a greeting as I shut the door behind me.

“Good afternoon, princess,” he said as he smiled. “Where would you like to go?”

I was about to tell him my desired destination when a voice called out to me. I turned to see Aemond quickly approaching which caused my heart to rapidly beat.

He was as perfect as he had always been. His silver hair went to his mid back just as it had for years. He wore a black leather doublet with long sleeves and matching pants with black boots. He wore his eye patch over his left eye, despite how much I had always wished he would allow himself to wander free without it. He looked simple and elegant without being boring.

“Princess,” he said as he slowed to a stop in front of me.

“Prince Aemond,” I said to him, giving him a slight nod of my head. Desperately I tried to steady my heart and slow my mind.

Jace never made me so nervous. I knew him the way one knows their favorite book. Every thought, feeling, or action could be anticipated. With Aemond, I never actually had any idea of what he could possibly be thinking. He kept his feelings and thoughts close to him, not wanting anyone to know him ever.

In fact, it wasn’t until he kissed me the first time that I ever understood his words of marrying me were rooted in feelings for me. I could remember it as clear as though it happened mere hours ago. The way I was sitting in the window of the library, reading the personal journals of Rhaenys Targaryen, when he approached me with a singular red tulip in hand. The way he looked at me as he presented it, telling me it was the only flower worthy of my beauty. What I remembered most was the way his lips felt on mine, the way it made the world go quiet if only for a moment and caused my pulse to somehow quicken yet disappear all at once.

He smiled brightly at me. It was unusual for him to smile but it was a sight that always made my heart try to beat out of my chest. It was something he had always saved only for me. When we were children, when Aegon, Jace, and Luke separated themselves from us because we did not yet have dragons, he gave me sanctuary. He made me feel better than anyone else could.

“Did you find comfort in your bath, byka zaldrīzes?” he asked me, taking my hand in his and pressing it to his lips.

“I did, issa mīsio,” I told him trying to hide my smile.

My protector. It is what I have called him for as long as I could remember. He earned the nickname when I was four and he removed a spider from my room. Luke had alwayss believed that it was something I should’ve reserved only for Jace. Yet he never understood that while Jace would fight for me, Aemond would kill for me.

“Leave us,” he instructed Ser Erryk.

“But the Queen-“ my guard said quickly. He was rather panicked at the idea of leaving me against my mother’s wishes.

“Should understand there is nobody better suited to keep the Princess safe than I am,” Aemond said firmly.

The demanding tone to his voice left no room for further debate. He had always made sure that those around us knew that everyone in the world was insignificant when compared to him in regards to keeping me safe. It didn’t matter if it was his mother, the guards, or even the Gods themselves. He would strike down anyone or anything that dared to threaten me.

I could see that there was an internal debate in his head. Which should he fear more, his Queen or Aemond? Aemond acted more frequently out of anger than Mother did.

“Mother has always trusted that Aemond is a capable swordsman and knows I am safe in his company. If anything is said I will speak to her. Thank you, Ser, for your dedication,” I told him, smiling at him. He nodded quietly and walked away, knowing I would take all responsibility and feeling ease from that.

Aemond offered his arm to me. I linked mine in his without a second thought. The year I spent here before my disappearance, this is how we walked anywhere. Arm in arm, like we were a singular entity. He would escort me everywhere, never once being late and always ready for some form of contact. I would be with him every moment I wasn’t with my grandsire.

Many ladies in the court once asked me how long it would be until we were married. I assured them that there was no possibility in that happening, but they were convinced. They said that not even their own husbands doted on them the way Aemond would dote on me. But they were always so ridiculous sounding I never gave them any mind.

We had always considered ourselves just children in a game. We were better, smarter, more talented than other players. Never did something so trivial as the gossip at courts ever stop us. But now I wonder if maybe we should’ve stopped.

“You look beautiful in that color, Y/N,” he told me as we began walking towards the gardens. This was our route every time. From my chambers, through the gardens, past the training yard, then to the Dragon Pit.

“Why am I the only one you speak to with such affection?” I asked him, raising an eyebrow. I tried to ignore the people we passed by who stopped to stare at me.

“Yet you do not respond with even half as much,” he said to me as he pulled me closer into his side. He seemed to also be aware of everyone staring.

“What is the purpose of this, Aem?” I asked him. “No longer are we children playing a game. We cannot continue as though we are only friends.”

“But we are friends,” he pointed out as we stepped out into the gardens where nobody seemed to exist.

This was one place in the Red Keep I always felt I belonged. Surrounded by flowers of brilliant blues, reds, pinks, and yellows dotting the otherwise green landscape here. The pink peonies were always very beloved by Alicent. The yellow hydrangeas were Mother’s favorite. Helaena always preferred looking for the bugs that inhabited the ground, so much so I had once destroyed the stores of garden soil they used to kill the bugs. They stopped using it when they realized It was me.

“You are in love with me,” I reminded him. Aemond chuckled at my words as he picked a purple hyacinth and put it in my hair beside the flower Mother had stuck there earlier.

“And if I remember correctly, our last night together was spent with you telling me the names of our no less than four children and all of their dragons,” he said with a smirk.

He spoke as though it were the simplest thing in the world. As though he and I were able to marry for love rather than duty. His words ignored the fact I was to marry Jace and become his queen, that my place in this world was to support my twin. It had been decided a long time ago.

“We were fooling ourselves thinking we could ever be together,” I whispered as I stopped walking. Though the knot in my throat that formed as I spoke those words made my voice sound weak and unsure.

“You are fooling yourself if you truly believe that you love Jacaerys enough to toss aside what you and I share.”

I let out a huff of annoyance. He was always so sure that he was right. He spoke so absolutely that almost anyone would believe him.

“And you think I love you enough to toss aside my duty?” I asked him.

There wasn’t enough time for me to process what he did before I was in the position. A look to make sure we were truly alone and then I was pulled into an alcove we had discovered long ago, hidden behind bushes that nobody ever looked twice at. It was small and dark, but always held room for the two of us.

“You scream my name in our nights together. You tell me over and over how you love me as you cum around me. You begged for us to go away, find someone to marry us in Valyrian tradition before you could be forced to marry him,” he whispered in my ear. “You cannot act as though you do not love me enough. Time has changed many things, but I can assure you that our love for one another is not one of them.”

“Aemond,” I whispered cautiously when he ran his fingers over the low neckline of my dress. “That was all before I was betrothed formally.”

“I wish for you to be my wife. Do not expect me to give up on that so easily,” he told me.

My heart was pounding so hard against my chest I was sure he could hear it. Maybe my mother had a point. Time had been so cruel, ripping me away from everyone I knew and loved. Maybe I should allow myself some time to play the game the way I wish to.

And Aemond was electrifying in all of the right ways. He was irresistibly handsome, almost intoxicatingly so. There was something about him that assured every bone in my body that no harm would come to me as long as I was with him.

Further than that, I loved him. Put aside the promise of safety that he had always provided and I still loved him. I had known it when he would stay with me all night as I prayed to every god in the world that my egg would finally hatch. I had known it when he pulled me out of bed to come with him the night he claimed Vhagar because I was the only one he wanted to share the moment with. When he lost his eye during the resulting fight with my brothers and cousins, I had cried for the rest of the night because I had failed to protect him the way he always protected me. And when grandsire sent for me to join him at the Red Keep, I jumped at the opportunity simply because I would be with Aemond. I loved Aemond with my entire being.

“I am still betrothed to Jace. Your desire to marry me does not change that,” I whispered even though it broke my heart.

“You can! You think I don’t remember that your mother has always given you a choice? That you got to choose whether she named you heir or Jacaerys? You have a choice, more than anyone else ever has,” he all but shouted.

There was not a doubt in my mind that he would back off if I told him I did not want him. If I made it clear that my reasons for denying him were more about how I felt rather than about duty, he wouldn’t question it for a second. My wants and desires were placed above his in regards to us. It was one of the many ways I was certain he loved me.

While I couldn’t lie to him that I did not want him, I also couldn’t decide anything without speaking to Jace. He deserved that.

“I will speak to Jace. Only after will I decide anything,” I said.

Only after several moments of silence did my words have any sway in him. It seemed that promise was enough for him as he pressed a small kiss to my forehead before exiting the alcove, gesturing me to follow. And while it may have been a better idea to leave his company, there wasn’t anything I could do to avoid taking his arm in mine and walking with him.

[seikkoi]

ᴅᴇᴠᴏᴛɪᴏɴ. | tony stark x f!reader

18+ minors dni

tw: nsfw, mild dubcon elements, rough sex, drunk sex, degradation, edging, choking, bruising, possessive behavior

word count: 3,108

pairing: tony x female reader

part two | part three

“No, what?” His hand around your throat isn’t tight enough for you to not respond, and you know what he’s asking for regardless. “No, sir, I’m sorry.” Tony’s hand tightens once the words leave you, eliciting a gasp from your lips. You hear him suck in a breath at the words, his face so dangerously close to yours. “I expect your devotion. That doesn’t end when you leave this office, am I understood?”

The music and lights almost seem more intoxicating than the alcohol swirling in your glass. The clear liquid has all the physical attributes of water, with none of the hydrating effects, leaving your throat dry as you laugh at whoever’s throwing jokes at you. You can’t tell if the guy’s actually funny or if you’ve just had that much to drink.

At this point, neither matters. You’re seated at the bar for some event your boss, Tony Stark, dragged you along to that turned into a raving afterparty. It honestly started quite tame, with speeches and awards, but now it was a few steps away from a club. It’s still not too wild, the venue large enough for you to sit comfortably on the leather barstool without anyone feeling the need to push past you. You’d dressed under the expectation of sitting through hours of boredom, a long black dress too tight and heels too high for standing amongst the growing crowd. 

Had it been any worse, you would have already found Tony to make a swift exit. Instead, he ends up being the one to find  you . Only a few hours had passed, yet you managed to cross the bridge over from tipsy to drunk. Drunk enough to not care that the world-class comedian you’ve been entertaining has his hand on your thigh. 

Or to notice the look on Tony’s face as he makes his way towards you. You’re laughing while your glass comes back to your lip, noticing Tony only when he speaks, suddenly next to you.

“Dying to know what’s so funny here.” There’s nothing casual in his voice, stern with eyes trained on the man beside you. 

The stranger's hand on your thigh is brought to your attention at the feeling of its departure. You can’t quite make out Tony’s expression, but you know it isn't good. Tony’s hand rests in his suit pockets, with relaxed shoulders not matching the sternness in his voice. It’s enough to unease the touchy stranger who clears his throat, glancing a last look at you before turning away.   

It’s then that Tony turns back to you, and you immediately want to go back to 5 seconds ago when he wouldn’t spare you a glance. His eyes are dark, angry staring into you. 

“How much have you had to drink?” His tone is the same one he gave the stranger, making you recoil even more. Especially since you don’t have an accurate answer.

“Only a few.” You chuckle, an attempt to diffuse tension and a product of the alcohol. “Why, is there a problem, sir?” 

Tony takes the now-empty drink from your hand, setting it on the counter. As you start to protest, his hand is already in yours, pulling you from the bar. 

You can’t get much of a word out, between the thumping music and speed in Tony’s stride. Before you know it, the noise is behind you as you exit the doors into the cool night air. Tony’s hand remains in yours until you grace the sidewalk. His hands dive into suit pockets, presumably looking for his phone to call Happy.

The air is slightly sobering, making you aware of the fact that what just happened was completely out of left field. But you're too drunk to figure out a reason. You’d worked at Stark Industries as their CFO for long enough to regard Tony as more than a simple coworker. You were still his employee, eager to help him in any way possible. A good day at work was any day that you actually felt useful to him. He had a habit of not delegating enough, and you had to make it clear more than once that you were there for him, to make his life easier. There may have been a playful gesture here or there, but you knew enough of his personality to know he was that way with  everyone . You knew enough about how he saw you to know he had no right to be upset at the idea of you letting your hair down. More than that, you’d always tried to be respectful to him. Despite his insistence that his first name was fine, you couldn’t suppress the need to show respect by calling him Mr. Stark or sir. 

A word doesn’t pass between the two of you- not during the brief wait for Happy or the ride back. Tony spends the entire journey either on his phone or staring out the window. He doesn’t explain nor spare another look your way. The longer he ignored you, the worse you felt. Even though you had no idea what you were guilty of.

The ride does little for sobering you up, stepping out in front of the tower still dazed. You walk in with him, his focus still on that stupid phone. You give an eyeroll that he doesn’t notice, walking into the elevator. You’re starting to think this sudden episode had nothing to do with you all. Maybe there was a work emergency?

At the soft close of the elevator doors, Tony stands beside you, fingers typing away. You can feel irritation rising. You've been waiting for an explanation that he was taking too long to give. 

“I’ve never known you to be one to leave a party early, sir.” You lean back against the wall, listening to the quiet hum. 

He doesn’t respond or even move his head. It was probably the drink's fault, but the silent treatment act now really began to annoy you. 

“Care to give me any explanation for you dragging me out of there like a child?” The words are harsher now, hopefully showing how fed up you were becoming.

“You were acting like one.” He speaks without moving, with a low tone and his own annoyance. 

“Excuse me?” You push yourself off the wall to stand next to him again. 

His eyes still don’t move from that stupid cell phone, and doesn't he grant you a response.

“Forgive me for forgetting about work for one night and having a few drinks.”, you scoff, voice raising. 

“A few is an understatement.” His volume stays the same, but you can tell it’s taking all of his strength not to shout back. That’s not what flips you to anger, it’s his audacity.

“Who the hell are you to be counting my drinks? I’m my own person outside of working for yo-” You’re cut off by him suddenly pocketing his phone, turning, and stepping towards you. You step backward towards the wall, expecting him to leave some distance between you two. He doesn’t, forcing you the short distance back to the elevator wall until you two are only about a foot apart. 

It’s then that he grants you a look, and just like before at the venue, you want to go back to before you saw the anger in his eyes. 

“And who the hell are you to act like that?” His gaze is unbreaking and ice-cold, only inches away from your face. It extinguishes any fire you had built up towards him for his attitude.

“Act like what?” It’s a genuine question- the shameful guilt you had earlier in the car returning. You can’t look away from him, despite how badly you want to push him aside and call him crazy.

“That guy at the bar had his hand halfway up your dress and you were too drunk to even fucking notice.” It's harsh but a hint of concern breaks through.

Caught off guard, you don’t have a response for that, let alone any explanation. You stay quiet under this gaze.

“You should be  thanking  me. That venue was packed. Do you know what could have happened to you if  I  didn’t notice?”

You stutter for a second, stuttering on words that don’t take for. You felt genuinely terrible now- between the fact that Tony had to be concerned for your safety, and the fact that you got that drunk. It hadn’t felt like a lot at the moment, but it definitely did later on. Even now, there’s that familiar swimming feeling hanging out the back of your brain. To make matters worse, you fully snapped at Tony about it, your boss. 

“I’m sorry,” you say quietly, body softening.

To your surprise, Tony closes what little distance remained between you two, bringing his face close to you. He braces an arm above you on the wall, almost to make sure you don’t think about moving. 

“The way you just went off about it? No, I don’t think so. Is that your idea of having fun? Getting shit-faced and letting anyone do what they want to you?” His words feel like acid, bitter and burning. Tears start to sting in the corners of your eyes. There’s no concern this time- just disappointment and rage. You almost think it’d be better if he simply yelled.

“I don’t-”

“You like it, don’t you? Having men touch you wherever they want?” He keeps his eyes trained on yours, meaning every word. As he speaks, the elevator dings, signaling that you've reached the offices.

The boldness of his words leaves you speechless, shocked at his accusation. 

“No, Mr. Stark, that’s not the case I just-” You can’t handle the look he’s giving you any longer, tears about to fall. You turn your head down when you speak, eyes fixated on your heels.

“You just  what ?” With his free hand, he roughly grasps the side of your face, placing his thumb under your chin and fingers through your hair to force your gaze upward. “You’re just that stupid?”

“No, no, I just had too many, I’m sorry,” Words pour out like a quiet stream. Tony’s forceful hand on your face ignited something else besides guilt or fear. Maybe it was the alcohol, but you wanted his forgiveness more than anything- for him to not see you this way. Behind Tony, the elevator closes as he keeps you against the wall. You didn’t dream of moving, anyway.

“Do you think it’s acceptable to act like that when you’re with me? Do you think I want to see other men put their hands on you?” 

“No,” you say softly, letting your eyes close.

His hand shifts, moving his fingers and thumb to your throat with just enough pressure to make you open your eyes in surprise. You wish only then that you were sober because maybe you’d be more scared instead of worked up.

“No, what?” 

His hand around your throat isn’t tight enough for you to not respond, and you know what he’s asking for regardless.

“No, sir, I’m sorry.”

Tony’s hand tightens once the words leave you, eliciting a gasp from your lips. You hear him suck in a breath at the words, his face so dangerously close to yours.

“I expect your  devotion . That doesn’t end when you leave this office, am I understood?” He draws out  devotion  like it’s not a request. The pressure on your throat, the guilt, the embarrassment, and the arousal you’re trying to ignore all come to head, forcing a tear down your cheek.

You can’t answer, as he allows too few breaths, and small gasps continue to fall from your lips. Your mind is in a million places. You want to push him off, beg for his forgiveness and cross those last few inches of distance so you could kiss him- all in the same moment. You manage to move your head slightly up and down, conveying your answer.

“I don’t think you do.” He leans forward, pressing his body against yours. You can feel his slow, heavy breaths against your gasping lips. It feels like electricity, sending goosebumps across your body. 

Before you know it, your lungs refill with air as Tony drops his hands to your waist, turning you and pushing you against the wall. It’s a sudden movement, having to extend your arms to keep from hitting your head. You attempt to straighten and turn back before Tony’s hand is pushing you into the wall. He presses into you, his body weight stopping any more attempts to move. You feel the hard member constrained by his soft suit pants against your back, pinned.

In the next second, you hear the clink of metal from Tony’s belt. You try to move again, fear working its way back up. Tony’s quick to push you fully against the wall, leaving your arms at your sides. The thud of his belt hitting the floor reverberates off the elevator walls. 

“This is what you need, isn’t it?” Tony growls while his rough hands pull your dress above your waist. He runs calloused palms over your ass, with harsh squeezes that you’re sure will leave a bruise. 

“This is what you need me to do to you?”, he doesn’t bother with your panties, tearing them and letting the ruined garment fall to the floor. Another tear flows down your cheek- whether it's from pleasure or pain, you don’t know.

You don’t resist as he pulls your arms behind your back, holding your wrists in one hand. With the other, Tony gently runs his fingers across your now exposed folds, contrasting his earlier behavior. The soft touch when you were already so worked up pulls a quiet moan from your lips. He continues his motions, touching you slowly and steadily but purposely avoiding where you needed him most. You almost hate yourself for how good he felt, how wet you were before he even touched you. The sweetness of his fingers while simultaneously keeping you pinned to the wall made you want to piss him off all over again if it meant touching you like this.

“Look how easy it is to get you like this,” He pushes two fingers into your soaking entrance, the sudden presence causing you to writhe against his restraint. He’s quick to tighten his hold, adding two more soon-to-be bruises to your wrists. The roughness returns, as he roughly pushes his fingers to your depths, only to withdraw and repeat with the same vigor. The warmth in your core is quickly built up, only making a bigger mess on his hand. 

“You just need to be used, huh?” Tony removes his fingers, an aching emptiness that he doesn’t leave you with for long. You’re mind is fixated on the pleasure, gasping against the wall as you feel the tip of his cock at your entrance. Reacting to the unexpected pressure, you try to move away again in vain. Tony’s grip keeps you in place as he sinks his cock into you without warning.

A long groan escapes Tony as he bottoms out, with his free hand holding your hip in a vice grip. He wastes no time, pulling the length of his cock before slamming it back into you again. The force leaves your mouth agape, eyes shut in a new mixture of pleasure and pain. With every rough thrust into your cunt, you cry out once he reaches your limit. He drives you into the wall with force, more of his low moans filling the air. The sound of Tony’s hips crashing into you and the wetness between you two echoes in the elevator. The fabric of his suit pants is a painful friction, making your skin feel raw. There’s nothing sweet or caring in the way he takes you- it’s clear that it’s a reminder to never fuck up like this again. 

“Do you understand now?” His violent thrusts continue, voice wavering from his own ecstasy of how good you were taking his cock. “You are mine and mine  alone .” 

“Y-yes, I understan-” , you managed to choke out.

You cry out again, a broken string of pleas and moans as he picks up his pace. Your wrists strain against the force, deepening the bruises. The aching pressure built up in your core is already becoming too much when Tony drops the hand at your wrists to reach between your legs.

Tony's fingers muse over your clit, rubbing in hard, wide circles with his thumb. His cock continues to fill every inch of your walls, fucking you with newfound vigor. You reach a hand back, aiming to slow his hips to give you any kind of respite. Instead, you find yourself simply grabbing the fabric at his waist, having no effect on his pace. The added sensation on your clit nearly sends you over again, shuddering at his touch. 

“God, Tony,” , you plea. Your head starts to spin, the knot in your stomach on overdrive. “Fuck, I’m going t-” A long, shaky moan leaves you, legs turning to liquid. 

Tony slows at your admission, an act that almost pulls another tear from you as you were so, so close. 

“Not yet.” The cold tone he uses does very little to help. 

Tony can’t resist you for long, however. Before long, he turns from rough and unyielding to slow and passionate. Hard thrusts turn into deep, careful strokes. The hand between your legs dances teasingly along slick folds. You hear his groans increase, intercut with soft praises and sighs of your name. It all tilts along the thin line of too much and not enough. 

You think you might pass out when he grabs the palm you’ve been holding at his waist, drawing soft circles over your hand while he earns another tear from you. You felt insanely desperate, lacking the focus to plead with him to just give you what you need. There was little you wouldn’t do for it at this point. If devotion was what he wanted, this was an effective way of getting it.

“Please, I can’t-” your cry is quickly interrupted, with Tony at the end of his own pleasure snapping his hips back into your cunt and flicking his fingers over your long-neglected clit.

It doesn’t take long, your body yearning for release for what felt like days. Tony brings his head to your ear, muttering about how good you were for him and how much you were his. That ends up being the final straw- your body tenses and shakes around his cock, with sobbing gasps as Tony curses and continues to thrust into you. He’s not long behind you, burying himself inside of you with a final rough push. 

Slow, shaky breaths from you both emerge until he withdraws, pulling your dress back down. When you turn, he’s already putting his belt back on, staring at you with a lustful look in his eyes as if he didn’t already fuck you. You’re silent, rubbing one hand across a sore throat.

Tony steps towards you, cupping a hand under your face before giving you a long, passionate kiss that has you aching again. When he finally pulls away, your lips are swollen.

“Glad to see you understand."

[my-illness-and-me]

Dear Friend,

I’ve been meaning to write this for a while now. It’s hard to put into words what it feels like to live inside a body that won’t let you forget it, even for a moment. Chronic pain is something I don’t talk about often, mostly because it feels invisible to everyone else. I can move through the day, smile through conversations, and still—beneath it all—there's this constant hum, like a shadow that never leaves.

It’s not the kind of pain that screams. That kind of pain gets attention, a solution. No, this pain is quieter. It lingers. Sometimes it feels like an ache in my bones, sometimes a stabbing sensation out of nowhere. There are days it’s almost bearable, like background noise I’ve learned to ignore, and then there are days where it’s all I can hear.

What’s hardest to explain is how exhausting it is. Pain doesn’t just hurt. It drains you. It’s like trying to live your life while carrying something heavy, all the time, with no chance to set it down. And there’s no telling when it will get worse, or better, or stay exactly the same. It makes planning things difficult, even simple things. Sometimes, I cancel plans because I can’t move the way I need to, or I’m so tired from managing the pain that I can’t imagine sitting through a conversation.

I know it can seem like I’m distant or distracted. I don’t want you to think I don’t care or that I’m not present, but honestly, there are times when being in my body takes up so much of my attention, there’s nothing left to give. It’s hard to explain this to people who haven’t experienced it. Pain becomes a part of your life, but not in a way that you can see. If I could show it, like a bruise or a broken bone, maybe it would make more sense.

What makes it harder is the silence. Chronic pain isn’t something people talk about much, and sometimes I feel like if I bring it up, I’m being dramatic or asking for sympathy. But really, I’m just trying to be honest with myself and with you. It’s not about wanting pity. It’s about trying to make sense of this life, to explain why some days I’m not as present, or why I seem like I’m carrying something unseen. Because I am.

I’ve learned to adapt in ways I didn’t think were possible. I’ve learned to listen to my body, to accept that some days will be harder than others. I’ve learned that healing isn’t always a cure, but sometimes just a way of coping better. But it’s also lonely, in a way I didn’t expect. When the world keeps moving around you, and you’re trying to keep up through this fog of pain, it feels isolating.

I want you to know that even if I don’t always talk about it, it’s there. And when I cancel plans or go quiet for a bit, it’s not you—it’s this thing that has become part of my life. I’m doing my best, and some days are better than others. But I appreciate your patience, your understanding, more than I can say.

Thank you for being there, even when I can’t always explain what’s going on inside me.

With love, Aaron