#I dunno maybe it’s just me but it feels like that sort of community is a lot more rare nowadays
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I hope this is a safe place to admit I do really miss the good old days when September 1st was Hogwarts day and Artemis Fowl day was like the fandom equivalent of saying Happy Hanukkah
#nuance#please#september 1st#fandom#y’all I haven’t had that feeling of general fandom community since the boopocalypse#I know that was in April—#but still.#but before then it had been a long while#I dunno maybe it’s just me but it feels like that sort of community is a lot more rare nowadays#like the communal feeling used to always be an undercurrent#but now you gotta reach for it#or maybe I’m just nostalgic and see it that way now#but I dunno#something’s different#I wanna go back to forums#and anime blingees#reject TikTok#embrace tradition#oh who am I kidding it’s not nostalgia#it’s that one post about how the whole internet feels curated because the ‘content’ feels like most people want internet attention#I mean to be fair most people on tumblr are here for the chill#but it’s like I want the best of both worlds? I want that big crazy community vibe with the chillness and vibe of tumblr now I guess#probably does not help that I’m in a lot of small fandoms#blegh blegh blegh#I’m old and sad and nothing’s good/j#I should go to a convention soon haha maybe that will cure me
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Trying to find progressive masculine community is so exhausting.
I've flipped through local men's groups, trying to find places to explore masculinity in a chill, progressive setting. First of all, they mostly seem to be modelled after AA, and like, my gender isn't a debilitating addiction, it's part of my identity actually, but also, the invite and description of the event have maybe a short paragraph tops actually waving vaguely in the direction of what the purpose of the group is, and then ten to twenty paragraphs breaking down the rules. One spent longer talking about the hand signals he would use to direct conversation than he did describing what the conversation would be about. Another had a full paragraph explaining that if the group thought you were evading what they thought your "real" problem was, they'd probably "call you to take accountability". Like...I don't even know who these people are yet and they're already letting me know that they view it as their right, no, their duty, to bully me into seeing things their way. Like, this is in the invite.
...and this warning is there instead of any sort of breakdown of like, I dunno. Whether you should be a feminist to show up. Whether it was a safe space for queer men. What the hell they wanted to talk about. Joining a men's space is on some level inherently submitting yourself to the authority of the leaders of that group, and you don't usually get a particularly clear breakdown of what the values and goals of those leaders are, because on some level the answer is always going to be "whatever I want"
And like, unfortunately you do need to filter men to build a men's space. You do need to remove or chastise men who act in ways that are toxic or disruptive or misogynistic. If you don't things turn into an MRA chapter pretty quick. But the sort of emergency powers that leadership takes on as a result of that...just kind of naturally end up reproducing masculine heirarchies.
MensLib, the only online community of progressive dudes talking about masculinity that I'm aware of, is...on Reddit. So there is a moderator system. In theory, a moderator is there to...moderate. This is a space where people are going to be talking, and mods are there to make sure things don't get too toxic or off topic.
The issue is that, on some level, that is technically a leadership position. In a sub trying to rehabilitate masculinity. So you've got a bunch of folks who view themselves as the leaders of this bastion of goodness standing against the depredations of the misogynistic internet, guiding the hapless smooth-brain neophytes towards The True Way.
In practice, this looks like 95 percent of the posts submitted for the subreddit being rejected. That isn't hyperbole. On average, the sub has about one new post per day. Almost all posts directly relating a personal experience are deleted immediately, in favour of articles written about masculinity in traditional media publications, which are considered more trustworthy than the sus lived experiences of the guys in the sub. The post I wrote here about the effect of purity culture on male sexual shame that's sitting at about 15K notes was based on a 10K word post I wrote for Reddit that was deleted because "I didn't cite any sources to prove that there is a link between purity culture and male sexual shame, or that my experience was anything more than anecdotal". I get comments deleted on a regular basis, and after paragraphs of protesting in modmail that my comments are both fully in line with feminism and not against the rules, the mods have just finally told me that the rules don't actually drive their actions as a team. They delete anything they feel leads the conversation in a direction they personally feel is unproductive. The rule cited at the time of deletion is really just the broad category of why they decided to hit the button that says nobody is allowed to read what I wrote.
The issue is kind of twofold. First of all, progressive men do not trust other men. A good dude knows that he, individually, is a good person, but literally any other man external to him is on thin ice. Do you really want to tie your wagon to that guy? Do you trust him, really? How do you tell the difference between a guy criticizing an article because it's factually incorrect and criticising it because a woman wrote it? Probably best to play it safe and delete it. Weight of the odds, he's probably a misogynist, right? This is the internet.
And thats the other half of it. If you view yourself as part of the leadership of The Good Guys, and you're getting hatemail from incels and facists all day, you get to the point where most of the time people challenge your authority it's because they're a terrible person. It is very, very easy to get to the point where someone challenging you is seen as evidence that they are a bad person. And now someone is challenging you (and therefore bad), in an environment where you are in charge, and you have a "make your opponent disappear" button.
I know. A Reddit mod was rude to me and now I'm butthurt. It's petty and stupid. I'm just feeling like there's nowhere else to really go, and I'm pretty despondent that literally every space I've seen that even looks like it might be for progressive men has the same deeply hierarchical structure and constant status-oriented squabbling as patriarchal spaces.
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okok so idk it’s nothing special really but i don’t think i’ve ever actually read something like that and i've been sort of searching for it for some time because i personally struggle with it and well, it’s annoying 👼 but anyway, my request is a one shot or even just a shorter blurb, whatever you feel okay with where H and the reader get into a fight for the first time really, they were always solving their problems by communication and always managed to not get into proper fights. but well it can’t last forever, right? so they get into actually heated fight and harry properly raises his voice at her and there the whole thing is, Y/N is sort of hypersensitive and whenever someone screams at her or even just scolds her, she cries and she can’t stop it nor control it, thinks it’s pathetic and is always ashamed or crying like a baby and not being able to scream back or remain calm. so she tears up and she’s telling him to ignore it and starts apologizing for acting like that and he sort of doesn’t know what to do because he’s really worked up and doesn’t think straight but he also feels extremely guilty. so maybe he like tries to go away and escape this but shortly comes back to comfort her or something like that? i dunno if it’s something you’d be up to writing, it’s totally fine if you don’t feel like it but yup, there goes my a bit of an angsty request!
“You are so fucking ridiculous. I can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
“Like what? Rightfully curious? Justly upset?”
“No…hysterical.”
You rear back, lashes fluttering as you stare at the aggravated British man across from you. “Wow. That’s what I am, huh? Hysterical?”
“Yes,” he says simply, unphased by the line he just crossed. “Yes, you’re being hysterical. And I can’t talk to a hysterical woman.”
You can feel the pressure against your chest as your throat begins to burn from the tears you know are coming.
But you straighten your shoulders and feign indifference. “Maybe I wouldn’t be so hysterical if you would just talk to me.”
“There’s nothing to talk about,” he seethes for a second time. “We had lunch. That was it.”
“And I said that’s fine, but you didn’t have to lie about it—”
“I didn’t fucking lie, I—” His hands find his hair, fingers yanking at the roots as his teeth grit together. “For fuck’s sake. I don’t need to explain my choices to you—”
“Oh, yes you fucking do,” you argue, taking a step closer. “If you want to be in this relationship, you need to communicate with me—”
“I did fucking communicate. I told you I was going to lunch—”
“With Alex. You did not mention Samantha—”
“So fucking what? What does it matter if she was there?”
Your jaw just about drops. “It matters because she was a huge part of your past, and having lunch with her makes me think—”
“Makes you think what, huh?” he suddenly bellows as he moves closer to you as well. “What? That I was gonna fuck her right there on the table?”
There’s a fire in his eyes you’ve never seen before. A rage in his voice, in his stance, in his expression that you’re unfamiliar with.
This Harry…is not your Harry.
Your Harry would calmly explain the miscommunication and then ask if you wanted to bake some brownies together.
This Harry looks like he wants to walk out of your life.
And into hers.
“You think I went there to cheat on you?” he continues, taking another step. And with each additional step, his volume rises. “Think I went there to beg her to take me back? To embarrass you? To throw all the progress you and I have made away?”
“Har…” you murmur, hands raising as if to tame him.
Or perhaps to keep him away.
He doesn’t notice. Nor does he notice the subtle shake in your request as he continues stalking toward you.
“Is that what you’re so fucking afraid of? You don’t trust me?” he just about shouts. “What? I need to be more communicative, but you don’t have to fucking trust me? What kind of fucking relationship is that—”
You don’t know how it happened. Don’t know when the tears that had been crawling up your throat slipped from your eyes and began pouring down your cheeks. You don’t know why you’ve suddenly been reduced to a puddle of quivering breaths and anxious glances but suddenly, that’s all you know.
Harry slows to a stop, focus flicking across your face as if assessing you. “What…what’s happening—”
You swallow a hiccup and quickly wave your hand through the air, as if to dismiss his comment. “Nothing. Nothing, sorry—fuck. Sorry, I’m fine, I’m—”
“Why are you…crying?” he asks, lowering his voice back to his normal register as takes one more step.
You roll your eyes, annoyed with yourself as you swipe your knuckles across your wet cheeks and huff, “I just…I cry when I’m…listen, I’m fine. I just…I know you didn’t go there to…cheat, I just—”
“Your hands are shaking,” he interrupts, rather matter-of-factly, his eyes downcast toward your arms.
You glance down as well. “Yeah, that…happens. Look, I didn’t mean to make you mad—”
“Why are your hands shaking?”
You swallow again. “’Cause…I don’t do well. With confrontation.”
He looks back up. “Oh.”
“Yeah. I don’t know. Childhood trauma, I guess. I just…I cry,” you admit, rather sheepishly as you once again try to dry the tears still dancing down your chin. “But I’m fine. Sorry. I wasn’t…I know I shouldn’t’ve—”
“Did I make you cry?” he asks now, eyebrows raised.
Again, you wave him away. “No. No, not…not you. I just…when people yell at me, I—”
“Was I yelling at you?”
Your expression softens at the absolute confusion on his face. “I mean…I don’t think you meant to, but…you did get pretty loud.”
He leans back, almost as if you’d slapped him. “Firefly, I didn’t…I didn’t realize. I…I just…I don’t know…”
“I know,” you offer gently, attempting to reach for him but he’s quick to pull himself back, terrified to have you close. “Har. Don’t do that, it’s fine—”
“I yelled at you,” he mumbles, like he can’t believe it. “I don’t…we don’t yell.”
“I know, but you were…you were angry—”
“Are you defending me?” he interrupts, seemingly aghast. “Firefly, I fucking yelled at you. I scared you, I made you cry. That’s not something to defend—”
“I always cry,” you retort, smiling to lighten the mood but are instead met with a frown. “Harry, it’s fine. Look…I shouldn’t have gotten so upset about the lunch, I just…look people talk. Twitter talks, I thought…they seemed pretty sure it was a different kind of lunch, so…I assumed. And I’m sorry.”
He studies you for a moment, eyes flicking between yours before he sighs and takes a hesitant step forward.
He takes your face between his hands and swipes his thumbs through the tears. “Believe me, you have nothing…to worry about. Samantha was and still is the biggest bitch I’ve ever met. I was supposed to meet Alex. But he fucking set up the lunch with her because she asked him to.”
“Oh,” you whisper, now feeling a tad guilty. “Damn, yeah. She is a bitch.”
“Yeah. I mean, more power to her but…like a text would have sufficed, you know? I can just as easily tell her to fuck off over the phone.”
You smirk. “I do trust you. I promise I do. I shouldn’t have assumed, I just…I would hate losing you.”
“God, Firefly, you would never,” he breathes, dipping down to press his forehead to yours as his eyes flutter shut. “Never fucking lose me. It would kill me if you left. You are it for me, do you understand? You are it. I’m never fucking letting you go. I’d lock you in my basement before I let you go.”
You laugh and playfully swat at his chest. “Ha. Ha.”
He smiles and leans back to see you once more. “Please believe me. She means nothing to me. Hell, even Alex means nothing to me now. Just you. Only you. Always.”
You take hold of his wrists and squeeze, heart bursting with adoration for the beautiful man before you. “I believe you.”
“And I promise never…to raise my voice at you again.”
“Hey, listen…I don’t mind a good yelling match as long as I get a few hits in.”
“Oh, is that right?”
“That’s right.”
He grins and surges forward to kiss you.
Hard.
“Good. Now…let’s go make some brownies.”
Thank you so much for the request, I hope it could somewhat fulfill your expectations! It was so fun to write, I’m so grateful you sent it 😭💞
~ Other Harry Blurbs
~ Full Masterlist
#harry#harry styles#harry edward styles#harry styles imagine#harry styles blurb#harry styles fanfiction#harry styles request#harry styles x reader#harry styles x you#harry styles fan#harry styles angst#harry styles fluff#harry styles x y/n#angst#blurb#request
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Harvey smut !! I don’t have a plot have a idea for it buuut if could give it some plot that leads into smut
Fem!reader
Stress Is Bad For Your Health: Harvey x Fem!Reader (Smut)
Hope everyone is doing well ~ 💚
Art Cred: @mimipippin
Word Count: 4,314
Third POV
You somehow always find yourself here after a long day. You sit at the bar, never drinking much, but trying to soak in some of the relaxed ambience of the saloon, hoping it'll somehow melt off some of the stress. You didn't assume being a farmer would be easy, but that wasn't it. It was being a farmer, helping the community, rebuilding the community center, mining, fighting off beasts. Really the list went on and on. It was overwhelming. You sipped your drink.
As you lowered your mug you could see the familiar green coat in your peripherals as you were joined at the bar.
"Hard day?"
You looked over now. Harvey always had this cute sort of charm to him in your opinion. Like he was just a little bit nervous to be around you. You sighed, running a hand down your face.
"Clint wanted some iron samples from the mine today. I don't think I've ever seen that many bats in my life."
His expression became one that was more concerned.
"Are you hurt at all?"
"No, I'm alright. Just stressed I guess."
You said, sipping your drink.
Harvey didn't seem convinced, watching you as you did.
"Stress can be bad for your health, Y/n. It impacts your immune system and makes it easier to contract illness. Not to mention the long term affects"
"I know, I know. Don't worry about me, Harvey. I'll be fine."
"Have you tried anything to relieve the stress?"
"I tried a few things. None of them really stuck."
Which was true. No matter what you tried, nothing really helped you relax, even this. Harvey hummed a bit, trying to think for a moment. He wanted to help you, the same way you've done so much to help the community.
"What have you tried?"
"I dunno, yoga, meditating, going to the bath house. And this."
"Well, I can say looking for relief at the bottom of a bottle won't do you much good."
You caught his quick glance towards Pam, who sat across the bar on her third mug of beer. You had no intentions of becoming a drunk, but you could see why that'd be a concern for him.
"I'm not. Trust me, Harvey, I have no interest in drinking myself stupid."
He seemed to relax a bit at that, though still thinking on your behalf.
"Surely there's something that'll help you relax."
You shrugged. You were used to it, not that that was a good thing. His face went a bit red as a thought dawned on him.
Both of you were painfully aware of the tension you had, but it was something neither of you could possibly find a way to address without making things weird. And now, he was considering breaching that barrier between the comfortable tension where no one needed to say anything, and the certainty that you had feelings for each other but all the unknown that comes with that.
"I apologize if this is an invasive question, but have you considered, uh, finding someone to assist you with your stress relief."
You looked at him for a moment, puzzled, like you might not have been following what he said. He continued quickly, more flustered now.
"I just mean, in the sense of, suggesting it as another option that may help you. Plenty of people seek intimacy as a form of stress relief or regulation."
You blushed now too. You hadn't considered getting the stressed fucked out of you, but you also weren't really the one night stand type of person. And with how small Pelican Town was, you didn't think sleeping around would be the best idea anyway. You looked at Harvey, who looked nervous enough to fall off his bar stool. You decided to try and lighten the mood. Or maybe just tease him. Either would be ideal.
"Is this an offer, doctor?"
He blushed harder if that was at all possible. He stammered out quickly.
"I- Well, I wouldn't- Not necessarily."
You raised a brow, an amused smile creeping onto your face. You sort of liked that idea, letting Harvey try and help you relieve your stress.
"Well, if I were to try this method of stress relief, who better to put myself into the hands of than the trusted town doctor?"
You smiled, leaning on the counter and tipping your head. He took a moment, analyzing all the thousands of ways this could be wrong versus how incredibly beautiful he thought you were and how he wouldn't want to give you off to someone else for this. He was looking away as he spoke, too nervous to look at you.
"If.. you believe it'd be in your best interest, I don't see any issue with.. ah, assisting you with your stress problems."
You put the money for your drink down on the bar and extended a hand to him.
"Shall we then?"
"Now?"
"I don't see why not. As long as you don't bite as much as the bats tried to."
You winked. Despite being mildly concerned about that comment, he did take your hand. You left together, making the walk out to the farm. The walk was quiet. He was thinking about all the ways this could go. The last thing he wanted was to disappoint you, especially when this was, or so he kept telling himself, for your health. He wondered if this would effect his chances with you, in a positive or negative way. On one hand, it was an opportunity to get closer to one another on an emotional and physical level, but on the other, to skip over so many of the usually relationship steps and get right to sex wasn't the kind of thing that had a good track record of leading to long term partnerships. He didn't want this to be a one night stand or some kind of friends with benefits thing. He wanted to care for you, cherish you, hold you in his arms after a long day at work and kiss your forehead before blissfully drifting off to sleep. He wanted to see you sleepily stumble from the bedroom in the morning and join him for coffee in the kitchen before you both began your day. He wanted to take you somewhere lovely on some sunny day, take your hands in his, and give you a mermaid pendant. He wanted to be the only person you'd come to for stress relief.
Soon you both arrived at the farm. You opened the front door, going inside and kicking off your boots. He followed suit, taking his shoes off at the door. You turned to him.
"You alright if we head to my room?"
Yes, the plan was to have sex, but you still felt the need to ease him into this. He was usually nervous, so you'd imagine now being no different. He nodded. So, while still holding his hand, you led him back to your bedroom. It wasn't anything too fancy or special. Truthfully, aside from sleeping you didn't spend much time there. You turned on a small lamp near the bed, which illuminated the room with a dim, warm, yellowish glow. You sat on the edge of the bed, having now let go of Harvey's hand.
"Is there any particular way you'd like to proceed?"
He asked. He was really a bit lost on what you wanted from him. He wanted to do good for you. You pat the bed beside you, urging him to also sit.
"I figured we could just feel it out as we go."
He sat beside you, though wasn't looking at you just yet. He was steeling his nerves. You admired the doctor for a moment. Gently, you reached over to cup his cheek and turn his face towards you. He looked at you now, waiting for you to make the next move. You figured you'd be leading this for the most part, but were surprised when he reached for you, placing a hand on the small of your back, simply touching you. He was cute. You leaned in, kissing him softly. It didn't take him more than a moment to adjust and return the gesture. As you suspected, he didn't fight for control, though he didn't fully surrender to you either, doing fairly well at matching you. His hand wandered down, resting on your hip as you deepened the kiss. From his cheek, you trailed your hand down his chest. You'd imagined what he may look like beneath the button up and the jacket. So many layers. Left too much to the imagination. You began your attempt to push off his jacket. He pulled back slightly.
"Allow me. This is for you after all. It wouldn't be right for me to make you do all the work."
His voice was slightly hushed. You blushed hard at that. It was a new side of him. Still caring, yes, but it was more... sure. He took off his jacket, setting it on the foot of the bed. You watched as he loosened his tie, sighing a bit as he did. You were practically in awe. He looked back at you, looking you over a bit.
"If... we are to continue this direction, would you like some assistance undressing, y/n?"
You nodded, maybe a little too quickly. The idea of Harvey undressing you was just too good to pass up. You'd love to feel what those precise doctor's hands felt like brushing against your skin. He moved to be standing in front of you, slipping his hands under your shirt. He wasn't much of a tease, taking it off of you gently but with little ceremony. He set your shirt nicely off to the side before looking at you. There was a bit of a glaze over his eyes. You could only describe it as a look of want. Need.
"Will you be taking off your shirt as well, doctor?"
You teased, breaking him out of his little daze. He nodded, pulling his tie off fully.
"Yes, of course."
He went to work unbuttoning his shirt, looking down as he did. You watched it slowly open up, discarding your bra while you did. You weren't sure what exactly you expected him to look like, but you felt a soft smile creep onto your face. He was him. There was no secret six pack, he didn't look thinner or bigger than he did normally. It almost felt like you knew this is what he was going to look like, and you liked that. He still felt like himself and that was who you loved.
Once he'd set his shirt off to the side, he looked back at you. He pursed his lips, thinking for a moment. He leaned down, speaking softly.
"Could you raise your hips for me? It will be easier for me to help you undress if you do."
You did, biting the inside of your lip just a little bit. His hands were gentle, unbuttoning your pants and sliding them down to the point where you could just kick them off. He seemed to contemplate going and grabbing them to put with the rest of the clothing, but decided to redirect his attention to you. You, and how absolutely stunning you were sitting before him, mostly naked. He swallowed hard.
"How... exactly would you like me to, ah, assist with your stress problems?"
He knew he had a few ideas on what he'd like to do for you and what he'd like to do to you, but now was about you and what you wanted. You thought for a moment.
"Well, doctor-"
"Harvey."
He corrected you, much to your surprise. He blushed as he explained himself.
"Doctor is what my patients call me. People that only know me professionally, not like this. If we continue.. I'd prefer you use my name."
Your heart melted a little bit.
"Of course."
You continued, correcting yourself this time, using a softer tone as opposed to the teasing one you had intended on using.
"Well, Harvey, I think what would help me destress the most would be seeing the rest of you and deciding from there."
If you didn't know any better, you would have thought you saw his glasses fog up, just a little bit. He unbuckled his belt, looking down as he did. It seemed to be how he avoided looking at you. He set his belt aside, soon followed by his pants. You looked him over with almost a hungry sort of expression. You couldn't find the words to describe how you wanted this soft spoken, nervous man to carnally destroy you.
He sat beside you now. You put a hand on his thigh, leaning closer to him. He looked at you, a softness in his eyes that you couldn't quite place. Regardless, you kissed him. He didn't hesitate in kissing you back, wrapping an arm back around you, placing a firm hand on your hip, pulling you closer.
He deepened the kiss this time, getting more excited than nervous now. You liked that. You wanted him to take more initiative with this. You let him lead, almost curious how far this bold streak would take him. He broke the kiss, mostly to catch his breath. You spoke, out of breath.
"I want you on top of me, Harvey."
It wouldn't relieve much stress if you had to do all the work. His face flushed red, and he took a moment to find his voice, nodding first.
"I can do that. Would you like to lay down then?"
You gave him one more peck on the lips before moving to lay back comfortably in your bed. You sprawled yourself out in the most "casual-sexy" way you could manage without putting too much effort in, mostly to tease him. He moved to hold himself up over you, looking down at you.
"If this is the way you'd like to proceed, I should ask if you have the proper... protection."
Right. You almost forgot about that. You couldn't actually think of a reason you would have bought condoms recently, considering your dry spell. It's not like you'd been expecting this tonight. You thought for a moment.
"Does the clinic have plan B?"
He went a bit wide eyed at the implications of that.
"W-we do, but are you sure you want to depend on that?"
You half shrugged.
"I'm alright with it if you are."
He weighed his options for a moment. On one hand, it was risky for multiple reasons, he knew that, but on the other hand, you looked so incredibly enticing beneath him and here you were, essentially asking him to fill you with himself. You were getting inside his head and fogging his better judgement. He nodded.
"Only if you promise to come to me if anything happens afterwards."
Whether that be side effects of the medication or otherwise, he wanted you healthy and taken care of.
You smiled, pulling him down to kiss you. He was so sweet. It's why you think you were so okay with all of this. It was Harvey. He'd never hurt you, he'd always treat you so preciously. While still supporting himself with one hand, his other moved to your waist, moving up and down aimlessly. You let your hands run down his chest, feeling him up a little. A little more curiously, you let one hand wander down further towards his boxers. You smiled slightly against his lips as his breath hitched. You were glad to know you got him excited like this.
He broke the kiss, looking down at you with lidded eyes, a needy expression. It definitely did something for you. His gaze trailed down, as far as it could from his current position.
"May I?"
He asked, a slight roughness to his voice you'd never heard before. It shot through your body and straight between your legs. You nodded, not even completely sure what he was asking to do to you. Then again, you'd let him do just about anything to you as long as he kept looking at you like that.
His hand moved down, fingertips slipping into the front of your panties. You bit your lip, anticipating his touch. He started slowly, brushing against your clit with his middle finger, rubbing at an almost teasing pace. Slow circles one direction, then the other, he'd pause, just for a moment, before pressing a little harder than before and rubbing up and down, a little faster. You started to squirm beneath him, which seemed to be what he wanted as he smiled, ever so slightly.
"I suppose I should ask."
He started, not relenting on his touches.
"If I were to get you to orgasm like this, clitorally that is, it would be a fairly satisfying, but short lived experience. If I were to bring you to a vaginal orgasm, it would be longer lasting, and more intense. However, if you were to finish this way first, it would ideally let your body relax, as well as produce enough slickness to make a vaginal orgasm much easier to achieve."
You gave him a pleading expression, wanting him to get to the point. He seemed to understand.
"All of that to say, Y/n, would you like to experience both tonight, or would you prefer we get to the good part now?"
With the fact that he had continued gently torturing your clit through all of that, you truthfully gathered very little of what he said. What you did gather, was he wanted to get you off, and then fuck you into getting off again, which you weren't necessarily against at the moment. You whined softly as you responded.
"Do whatever you want to me as long as you please stop teasing."
He smiled some at that, though blushing.
"Anything you say, dear."
He said softly, beginning to move a little faster with his hand, though not so fast as to be uncomfortable. You were going to have to ask him where he learned how to do this, because fuck was he good at it. He leaned down, kissing your lips. Perfectly timed, as you arched your back, pressing yourself into his hand, moaning into his lips as he worked you through it, slowing until you relaxed beneath him. He pulled away, letting you catch your breath. He moved back, working on getting your now wet panties off and put to the side. He admired you laying there, flushed red, panting, glistening. A beautiful sight, all for him.
As you came down off your high, you looked over at him. He was hesitating slightly, pursing his lips, sort of messed with the edge of his boxers.
"Something wrong?"
You asked, catching his attention.
"No, nothing is wrong. Apologies, I was just a little distracted."
You weren't completely sure you believed that. You didn't have much time to look into it more though, because you were promptly distracted by him pulling his boxers off. You felt a slight chill wash over your body, mostly in anticipation. It'd been a minute since you'd had anyone, or anything really, inside of you like this. He wasn't an intimidating size by any means though he might have been slightly girthier than you would have said you were used to. You could imagine how good he'd feel filling you up, how nicely he'd stretch you. Thankfully, you didn't have to just imagine for long.
He set his boxers aside, adjusting his glasses slightly. He moved his hand back between your legs, pushing a finger in carefully. You bit your lips as he rocked it inside of you for a moment before going and adding a second. He almost looked lost in thought, staring down at his hand between your legs, watching his fingers disappear inside of you with such ease. Soon, he added a third finger and you started to get impatient. You didn't want to wait any longer. With the hand not prepping you, he gently rubbed your thigh.
It was tempting for him to continue like this. He wanted to see you there, in pure bliss, as much as he could tonight. He didn't know if he'd get you like this again. Tonight wasn't about his desires though, it was about you and getting you to relax. He pulled his fingers out, adjusting so he could spread your legs a little more and place himself in between them. You could feel him pressed against you.
"Are you ready?"
He asked in a gentle tone. You nodded quickly, too eager for him to fill you up. He took a deep breath, adjusting, and slowly starting to press into you. You let your head fall back, eyes closing. You let yourself get lost in the feeling, focusing on how he felt as he started to push inside of you. At the same time, you felt his hand grab yours, making an attempt to lace your fingers with his. You held onto him. He was so sweet, even like this. He stopped. You looked up at him now, seeing that his own eyes were closed. He was taking a moment to relish in the feeling of you around him. Warm, soft, and so incredibly good. His chest rose and fell like he had just finished a marathon. It was a sight to behold. When his eyes opened, he looked down at you, gently squeezing your hand.
"Still alright?"
He asked, out of breath already. You nodded. He nodded in return. He leaned down slightly, bringing your hand up to him so he could kiss your knuckles. He places a few, soft kisses there. It almost distracted you from the way his hips began to slowly rock. He let your hand back down, adjusting to pull your hips more so into his lap. He was trying to get a very particular angle, guiding one of you legs up over his shoulder.
"There we go."
He said in a near whisper, giving a more precise thrust now, causing you to gasp, gripping the blanket beneath you. He had to have done this before. Recently. This couldn't be the same socially nervous doctor you knew. He was still his sweet self, but he knew too well how to work your body, maybe more than even you did. Either way, he must've liked the reaction you gave because he did it again, finding his pace gradually. You moaned beneath him, which only encouraged him on. When you looked at his face, it was an expression of focus mixed with need, desperation.
His pace gradually increased until you felt you were going to lose yourself. Just as it started to get to being too much, he'd slow, causing you to whine beneath him. This happened at least 3 times. You couldn't tell if he was doing it on purpose or not. By that third time, you looked up at him.
"Harvey, please-"
He nodded, seeming to understand your plea as he kept his faster speed. You felt your orgasm start to bubble up inside of you before finally, finally, bursting through your body in a way you couldn't remember feeling. Your body tensed, twitching, your hips trying to fuck themselves down onto him more than just what he was doing as he worked you through it. Right as you began to feel your senses start to calm down, you felt him bottom out, holding there, groaning quietly. You could feel the warm feeling inside of you as he came. He was quite the sight like that. Blushy, sweaty, and completely caught up in pleasure. He lowered your leg, readjusting before carefully pulling out.
He took a second to breathe. Then he looked at your face.
"Stay here. Do you have tissues somewhere? Or, um, maybe a washcloth?"
You gestured to the door that led to the bathroom. He stood up, going that direction to find something to clean you both up with. He took that time to think about what just happened. Not only did he get to be intimate with the woman he was in love with, but he came inside of you. Which, granted, was something he'd have to deal with later. Even so, he felt like he was lighter than air. He came back with a wash cloth, slightly damp with warm water. He cleaned you up, as well as himself.
"Would you like any assistance getting into pajamas?"
He asked. You looked up at him, tired and honestly a little clingy at the moment.
"Harvey, just come here and lay down."
He seemed a little surprised, though did as you asked. He pulled the blanket back so you could at least be beneath it. You got comfortable and moved to be close to him, snuggling against him. He slowly wrapped his arms around you, like you were fragile or maybe as if you'd disappear like some dream if he held you too tight. You felt his chin rest on the top of your head. You closed your eyes, taking a moment to just think.
You were laying here, naked, wrapped in Harvey's arms, listening to the sound of his breathing. You felt calm. Tomorrow, you'd probably be a little embarrassed. Tomorrow, you'd have to talk about it, figure out what this meant for your relationship. You hoped this wasn't just a one time thing. You'd like to do more with him. You'd like to be in an actual relationship. You felt his hand move, gently rubbing your back. You decided to focus on that for now. For now, you were cozy and comfortably pressed up against Harvey's chest, and that's all that mattered.
You felt him press a soft kiss to the top of your head.
Whatever happened tomorrow, you were sure it would be okay.
#stardew valley fanfiction#fanfic#smut#stardew valley#stardew harvey#sdv harvey#harvey x farmer#sdv harvey smut#no proofreading we die like men
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Felix: What?
Destino: You heard me. How long?
Felix: ...
Destino: ...
Felix: Since the evolution party. Four years ago.
Destino: You're shitting me.
Felix: It's true.
Destino: So, you fell for me when I was intoxicated. Glad to know my best friend can pick out my best traits.
Felix: It really ain’t like that. I fell for ya because ya can be funny, thoughtful when ya want ta be and ya pretty damn good-lookin’. I know who ya really are and I find that ta be what I look for in a partner. I’ve not asked yet because I know Mirage left ya in a bad place last time and I know ya didn’t want ta rush into a new relationship anytime soon. I only make a move when I see there’s interest and ya didn’t seem interested, so I haven’t gone for it.
Destino: …
Felix: I’ve gotta know if ya would consider it though.
Destino: Right now?
Felix: Yeah. If we’re layin’ everythin’ out in the open, I wanna know. I don’t wanna pursue something that ain’t gonna happen.
Destino: …
Felix: …
Felix: …
Destino: …
Felix: Thank you for tellin’ me. I’m glad ta actually hear how ya feel about it. And I promise ya not hide anythin’ from ya from now on.
Destino: You better not. I don’t want to have to demote you to friend status.
Felix: Serious, I will be. Don’t ya worry pal.
Destino: …
Felix: …
Destino: Ha, it’s funny really. You’re the ghost therapist here and I’m the one telling you to be honest and communicate. Perhaps you could learn a thing or two from me about how to communicate with another. I’m clearly excelling at it. Maybe if the whole Prime of the Underdark thing doesn’t work out, that’s what I could do next. Be a therapist.
Felix: Des, ya are the least qualified Pokémon ta do somethin’ like that.
Destino: Tauros-shit. It’d be easy. Listen to someone rant about their experiences and then say how awful they are and how they can change.
Felix: Hahaha, it’s far more complicated than that. Besides, ya barely talk ya anyone about how ya feel.
Destino: I talk about myself all the time.
Felix: Ya know what I mean. About how ya actually feel.
Destino: You think I’m just going to suddenly lay my whole life out in the open for these surface Pokémon? If those random Pokémon that keep following me around could just leave me be, I think I’d be enjoying myself a lot more up here. Why would I ever want to talk to them about private matters if they have nothing to offer?
Felix: I dunno about that.
Destino: One of them ate me. One trapped me in a bubble full of liquid and tried to drown me. One of them shaved off a good chunk of my fur and left me looking ridiculous. They clearly have so much to give.
Felix: Didn’t ya say an arbok told ya ta talk with me? That seems like good advice that he gave ya.
Destino: Considering how weird he was, I wouldn’t be surprised if that was some sort of hallucination caused by one of those Pokémon to get me to like them. The things Pokémon do to make me get on their side. I am an incredibly charming Pokémon so it’s not surprising they would use whatever methods they could to make me like them. The curse of being the most charismatic Pokémon alive.
Felix: Ya gotta admit that ya did provoke those other Pokémon though. That’s why they went through with what they did.
Destino: Are you condoning their actions?
Felix: No, but that’s why I said about pickin’ ya targets when wantin’ ta insult someone.
Destino: And it was good advice. However, have you considered that continuing to push until they react is hilarious?
Felix: There’s a part of me that wants ta hit ya when ya have the urge ta say somethin’ stupid.
Destino: You wouldn’t do that. You love me too much.
Felix: I’ve given ya fuel, haven’t I?
Destino: Perhaps.
Felix: Fuck.
Destino: Hahahaha.
…
Felix: Of course it does. Alright, night Des.
Destino: Night Felix.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*Seems like that beauty sleep may not be happening after all.*
#pokemon ask blog#pokemon#pokemon oc#pokemon askblog#ask blog#ask the royal absol#destino the absol#pokeask#ask#Felix the gengar#pokeask community#absol#pokemon absol#pokemon gengar#gengar#there’s maybe one or two more story parts after this#then we can go back to that whole ask blog thing.#story tag
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for: @jasipereo, who told me i should what: in the burning maze, apparently they fly off together after jason dies and nothing happens at all. this is the nothing. wc: 1700
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Piper had grown out her hair since Leo saw her last. He touched the ends of it, feeling the familiar softness between his fingers.
“Did you get taller?” she asked, voice strained from having cried so much. He didn’t see her expression; she was sitting in front of him on Festus, facing only the white sky.
“I dunno,” he said, because he didn’t. Time was strange in that other place. To him, he’d been gone for only a moment. As if he hadn’t been lost at all.
She leaned backwards. Without having to ask, Leo let the internal heat from his body migrate to her. They were just below plane altitude, maybe four or five miles in the air. It was cold, but he wouldn’t let her be.
Had Piper not been there, Leo would have pried the casket open and crawled inside to lie beside him. He was sure of it. The instinct was nonsensical, even desperate, and still it pulled him like water down a drain. He wanted to see him again. He wanted to see him with his eyes closed, as though he were only asleep. And Jason had always been a peaceful sleeper.
Back then, Piper’s iron grip on his forearm had anchored him. Maybe she felt the urge, too. Maybe they could have all fit inside. There, they could have dreamt as one, having found peace in a place where nothing could tear them apart. Together again.
“You did,” she replied. “Get taller, I mean. Just a little.”
*
Piper had a room in her grandpa’s ranch house that she hadn’t used since she was eleven. Leo inspected the off-white lace curtains, the stuffed animals on the bookshelves. She had a pink CD player and a Hello Kitty pillowcase. It was strange to be confronted with the idea that she had lived a life before him.
He helped her unpack what little she brought with her. Downstairs, Leo heard Coach’s booming timbre, comforting in its own way. He and Mellie would stay in the guest room with Chuck, leaving Leo to fend for himself in the den.
“What’re you gonna do now?” asked Piper, folding shirts and sorting them in a dresser.
Leo laid on her carpet, eyeing the glow-in-the-dark stars stuck on the ceiling. “Calypso wants to enroll in school. I tried telling her secondary education was a shithole, but she wanted to experience it herself. As for me, I’m never going back. S’one of the conditions I made for living at the Waystation.”
Piper paused in her folding. Then she started up again on a pile of sweaters. She lingered on a blue one that read: Edgarton Day and Boarding School.
“I’m starting Tahlequah High next week,” she said.
“I’ll be sure to make your grad party, beauty queen.”
He figured. Piper liked school enough; he knew she never missed an assignment at Wilderness. Meanwhile, Leo turned every packet he got into paper planes, letting them ride the Nevada gust out his dormitory window.
“If you’re not finishing school,” she continued, “what’ll you do? Help Hemithea and Josephine?”
“That’s sorta the plan.” Leo rubbed his eyes. The stars were too old to hold any glow. “I guess… I guess I just want something to keep busy. Maybe teach shop for the kids for however long. After that, I don’t know. Being in one place too long… I’m not real good at that.”
“So no camp?”
He couldn’t help but laugh. “No, no camp. You?”
“No,” Piper said, then laughed along with him.
He knew she didn’t mean she hated either camp, their friends, or their community—they only needed distance, measured and in moderation. Jason was everywhere, after all. His lifeblood was camp legacy. In a way, that was what had taken him from them. The gods had owed Jason ten times over and this was how he was repaid. There was nothing for Leo there, least of all loyalty. It seemed Piper felt the same, even if only mirroring an inch of his resentment.
They ate dinner. Tristan still had some lost pallor, but his charisma was hard to chip at, especially when his daughter needed him. Toothless Chuck gummed around a piece of squash while the rest of them ate a meal cooked by a friend of the family. People had been in and out of the house all day; their fridge was stocked for the entire week. The McLeans had roots here. They were loved and welcomed. Leo and Piper had stayed inside her room like homebodies until the visitors had all left.
While Mellie put Chuck down for bed, Tristan and Coach cleared the table and washed the dishes. Piper told Leo that they’d probably go out on the porch and smoke some of her grandad’s tobacco pipes once they were done, a vice her dad failed to keep secret from her.
Snickering, they imagined Coach hacking a lung while ambling upstairs to her grandpa’s study. Her grandfather kept books on topics that ranged from Indigenous history to psychology to science fiction. Aside from the collection, there was a desk with a swivel chair and a large claw-footed single-seater sofa in the corner of the room, just by the window.
Leo grabbed a book off the shelf just for the fun of it and plopped down on the sofa. The words swam around on the pages. Even if he could read it, he doubted he could parse analytical biochemistry jargon.
“I used to come up here when Grandpa was doing his lesson plans,” said Piper. Tom McLean was a structural biology professor. “I’d beg for him to play with me, but he’d just say, ‘My love, you cannot have what you want the instant you desire it.’ I liked that. Not even then was it easy for people to say no to me. He was the only one.”
Looking out the window, Leo saw the shine of Festus’s wings in the darkness. The dragon was hunkered down in the yard, closest to sleep as automatons could get.
“I’ll leave in the morning,” Leo said. He rested his gaze on the horizon, which bled into the night. “Calypso’s waiting for me.”
“I know.” Piper came over to him, gently pulling the textbook away from his grasp. It forced him to look at her.
A beat passed. “I’m sorry, Piper. About Jason.”
She smiled wryly, placing Clinical Biochemistry: Techniques and Instrumentation onto the side table. She asked, “Why are you saying sorry to me?”
He wasn’t sure what she meant by that. She stood over him, the moonlight from outside overlaying her skin like a filter, the image of an aching spector. Her face was unreadable, but tonight her eyes were one color. It was borrowed, and it was the color of his own heart: Electric blue, as vibrant as the sky once a storm had cleared. Jason.
Still standing, she raised a hand, placing it over his arm in an innocuous touch. “You loved him, too,” she said. Leo’s hackles rose, but it was true and—now that Jason was dead—harmless. “Leo, we weren’t together anymore. I broke up with him. After you died, I couldn’t… I couldn’t work it out. Work us out. Because without you, it was like… Like the lights had gone out.”
His hand grabbed her wrist, wanting to rip it away, but he couldn’t. “Wait. I-I don’t want to hear this,” he said.
If only she had never brought it up. Mellie had told him earlier in the day, with Chuck on her hip and wearing a worried frown. Piper and Jason had split some months ago. They never explained further than what they had told everyone.
“I thought,” she kept going, “that if you had come back, maybe Jason and I could have—with you… But we never got a chance.”
“Piper,” he said firmly, getting up from the seat to grab her shoulders. “You have to stop.”
“It isn’t fair. Don’t you think it isn’t fair?” Jason’s eyes watched him shake.
“I’m leaving tomorrow, at dawn. I’m moving to Indiana. I’ll come for birthdays, special days. We’ll see each other at reunions. I’ll Iris you—every day if you want! It’ll be good. Like we always were. Like we were before everything. Don’t do this, Piper.”
“You can’t stay,” she whispered. “I know because it happened to me, too. It hurt to be with him because you weren’t there. And I know what you see when you look at me. What color are my eyes, Leo? Whose are they? He used to see yours.”
It had to happen, just once, even if never again for the rest of their lives. It wasn’t even their first kiss, which had happened a lifetime ago, on some forgettable rooftop in a place that never loved them. He shivered a little as her hands came up to his neck. There was salt in his mouth from her tears. Piper made small noises, gasping in increments when they could bear parting. They tumbled back to a bookshelf, hard edges jutting against Leo’s spine.
It was important that he was the one to speak first. Not because he didn’t trust her not to compel him, but to prove that he knew she wouldn’t. Not for this.
“I’ll leave in the morning,” repeated Leo, thumb rolling down her jaw. “That’s hours away.”
*
Leo got up before the sun did. Oklahoma mornings were crisp and new, almost impossibly so. The fog in the distance cleared around the McLean property, grass dewing with small beads of fresh water. Standing on the porch now, Leo knew this could be a good home, one filled with love.
Tristan McLean saw him come out of Piper’s room. He didn’t react much, only telling him to be safe on his journey back. He’d also shaken his hand like a real man and said, “She’s stronger than I’d ever hoped.”
“Stronger than me,” Leo replied, smiling.
Seeing him, Festus crooned in happy creaks, shaking out his stiffness. As Leo took off, he saw the curtains in Piper’s window move, almost nothing. Just in case, he brought up his hand to wave goodbye.
#liper#jasipereo#valgrace#rrverse#heroes of olympus#hoo#fic#piper mclean#leo valdez#jason grace#< HAUNTING THE NARRATIVE YAYYYY
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okay here me out! Hybrid au where reader is recruited into 141 and they’re all hybrids, like price is dragon, ghost a wraith, gaz a crow harpy, and last but not least soap is a werewolf. It’s pretty much common knowledge that wolves and vamps don’t mix, so when reader and soap first meet they despise each other, hate each other fr. Reader calls soap a dog, puppy, mongrel or mutt and soap calls reader a leech, bloodsucker and wtv. Now all this bickering leads to somewhere spicy, maybe all that hatred was actually sexual tension 🤷🏻♀️ heated and rough sexual tension to be exact. Alright thank u for listening in<3333
Sorry this one took so long friend! This is really similar to an AU that's out there for CoD and I wanted to be sure it was alright with that artist to write something with their concept. But without further ado, enjoy!~
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It was common knowledge within the hybrid community the bad blood (no pun intended) between vampires and werewolves. So when Price made the decision to add you to the team, you and Soap were immediately in an understanding. While yes, in front of higher ups things were kept professional, everyone could practically feel the tension in the room when you were both in there.
Yet nobody could quite tell just what kind of tension it was. See, it was very clear that, due to being the species you were, there was something negative between you and the Scottish sergeant. However it was also blatantly obvious that the two of you did hold some sort of strange fondness for the other.
"Nice work today leech," Soap chuckled, passing you after a mission debriefing. You rolled your eyes so hard anyone who saw you would probably think they'd roll back into your head. You set your gun back in it's locker, slamming the door.
The mission hadn't exactly gone...poorly. The job got done at the end of the day, but there were quite a few screws that went loose. The fact that they were by your hands didn't help the matter by any means.
"You got something to say mutt?" You growled, crossing your arms defiantly. Your day hadn't exactly been the best and you knew Soap knew this. You weren't exactly in the mood for the lapdog's "cutesy little pet names" as Price affectionately called it. You swore that dragon was delusional.
Much to your irritation, Soap was quick to get in your personal space. He had his arms above yours, all but pinning you to the lockers behind you. "I dunno, mate, do you?" Now you knew good and well that "mutt" was Soap's least favorite little nickname you'd given him, so his actions weren't a surprise.
What was a surprise however, was the fact that you could smell the pheromones on him. Being this close to you was turning him on, making you quirk an eyebrow. "Maybe I do puppy," you smirked, reaching down and boldly palming his erection. "You first."
Soap inhaled sharply, growling lowly as you touched him. His clawed hands came forward, swiftly pinning your free hand to the metal of the locker. He juts his knee up, making it and his thigh rub up against your sex.
It's your turn to blush, hand moving more intentionally now to make him harder. You let out a soft whine when he starts to rock himself back and forth, stimulating you. Bodies are moving on their own now, pure instinct driving the interaction.
You're not sure when you ended up kissing him, or when the two of you stripped from the waist down. But here it was, Johnny "Soap" MacTavish, the werewolf that drove you absolutely insane, was helping hold you up as he fucked you against the lockers. You had your arms locked around his neck, nails scratching at the base of his ears as you praised him with soft moans of "good boy," over and over.
"So good," he groaned, claws digging slightly into the soft flesh of your ass as he fucked you roughly. A particularly sensitive spot gets brushed by the head of his cock and it has you letting out a keen of pleasure. Combined with the tugging of his knot against your hole, you knew you wouldn't be lasting long.
It was so rough, raw, and hot, the two of you nearly forgot where you were. Each of you was lost in a haze of pleasure, your noises quiet save for the slapping of skin and slight shuddering metal. You drew yourself closer the more you inched towards your climax to nip at his neck, barely nicking the skin to lap at his blood.
"Close dove, I'm close," Soap growls, his previous rhythm lost to the urges and instinct to breed you as his knot slipped inside you. The extra insertion and attempts to keep yourself from completion meant you could only nod dumbly as a sign you were fine with him coming inside you. With a howl that he muffled against your shoulder, he finished, the two of you locking together where you ended and he began. You weren't far behind, head smacking slightly into the metal as you came, drawing your own blood as you tried to keep yourself quiet.
You and the sergeant panted heavily as you came down from your respective highs. The brunette's tail was wagging ever so slightly behind him and you couldn't help but chuckle. There was a lightness in your chest that you couldn't place, but it was certainly nice to not feel at your teammate's throat for once.
"While the show was appreciated," came a voice that seemed to materialize from the shadows. Ghost appears to your right, body shifting out of his Wraith form as he leans against the locker room door frame. "Next time, maybe pick somewhere a little more secluded to work out your anger issues eh?" Both you and Soap couldn't help but flush in embarrassment.
"Sorry L.T."
#bat writes#anon reqs#cod x reader#cod smut#johnny soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#soap mactavish smut#johnny soap mactavish smut
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Stolen Child: A Much Needed Screaming Fit
Okay, so, as I said earlier - I'm fine. The story's fine. I'm not angry at anyone about anything or shouting at or accusing anyone of anything or any of that sort of thing that I might come across as somehow because I'm shouting and only sort of semi-coherently. I'm just shouting because I need to shout.
Basically, I've been feeling increasingly just…tired and tense? The temperature spike this weekend did not help at all, since I am not a heat person and it narfs my sleep. And my brain finally phrased last month as "I didn't have a single day off in August because every time I wasn't at work I was some stripe of not-feeling-well", at which point the rest of my mind and body went "YES EXACTLY!" and doubled down on the exhaustion and anxiety. I also have another routine medical appointment next Tuesday and something going on with my hand that looks kinda like ringworm, but doesn't act like ringworm (and how would I have picked up ringworm there?), which I will need to make another appointment for. Which means I really need to have a good, old fashioned, overstimulated three-year-old level melt down about something I care about, but that is not ultimately important to the universe and then go…I dunno. Maybe eat some ice cream and take a nap. Definitely with the napping.
Since Stolen Child is kinda the Big Craft Community Craft Thing right now and ranting about it could, conceivably, generate some useful dialogue which always results in Happy Brain Chemicals (useful right now!), we're going with that one. So if you feel like reading through the flailing mental health fail rant and giving advice, observations, feedback, or just patting me on the head and saying "Don't forget to breathe, dear. Air is important", go right on ahead. If you don't, eh. Not your job. Feel free to keep scrolling.
And now! Here we go! Ready, set - MELT DOWN!
This right here? Is a great comment. It's a lovely comment. I love informative comments like this! There's only one problem with it:
I SERIOUSLY NEEDED THIS INFO BACK WHEN I WAS PLANNING THE ORIGINAL STORY!
See, back in 2017, when I was first plotting this whole thing, my plan was to have him wind up…not heir. I seriously think he'd be happier doing like Tom and Henry and living at Downton, but running a clock shop somewhere and letting Mary run the estate and George be the heir. Thing is, I didn't know that was possible just like that. I hadn't made any of my UK fan-friends at the time (heck, I don't think I had this account yet?). As I have mentioned a million times, I fail at research, although I have been slowly getting a bit better with help. So at the time I thought that an Earl's son became the heir, no questions asked, and no options unless they abdicated which was fully what I intended on having Thomas do after a bit of trying and getting a headache and having him and Mary both unintentionally-but-avoidably stomp all over each other's toes. Then I started rewatching (didn't make it through season one because I have officially hit the 'can't really watch things on my own' stage) and was immediately reminded that Matthew didn't have a choice but to be heir. Oh! Oops! Guess Thomas can't abdicate! Which is how we wound up with the current draft.
And this comment.
Now, I have no reason to disbelieve the statement that they don't need to recognize Thomas, but I can't think of why my UK friends wouldn't have pointed it out at some point, except that I did always call it the Thomas-as-Heir fic which could have lead to the concept that heir was my desired end game. Or perhaps it was one of those things that just didn't get questioned because subconsciously they thought it was my desired end game. Or maybe something else perfectly logical! I mean, there are reasons it could have happened, but my brain is not braining good right now, so. Point being, I didn't know and I'm still not sure and this firmly falls outside of my 'things I can comfortably research'. If it were modern, sure! But history?
Seriously, my researching lessons in school extended to 'go to the library and read a book' and stopped. There was nothing about how to gauge how trustworthy the book was, or if there was, I didn't learn it because I moved through three school districts (five if you count college and uni) and wasn't in the right district at the right time. Given how obvious it is that there are a lot of history books out there that straight up lie (and I don't just mean the school texts. I've tried to teach myself history in recent years and wound up straight up calling bull shit on several books), this leads to massive trust issues. I asked at my local library if they had a research librarian on staff and bless his heart, the fellow I was talking to didn't even know what that was. There's another library nearby that is bigger, but I keep forgetting that it's part of our library system now and honestly I don't even know how to drive there and don't like driving in that area anyway and I'm not even sure the busses will take me there in a reasonable manner given public transport in this area. I know I've heard of a couple other tricks over the years that I've carefully noted down in places I've forgotten about so that I could reference them later.
…yeah.
And if it is true (which I have every reason to believe it is), what then? I've already set up the entire story to have Thomas be recognized as heir! I mean, I could put it on hold and rewrite the ending. There are a couple of scenes that would be easy, but others would be straight up impossible. I'd also have to lose at least three scenes that I've been looking forward to sharing and that people would love, and I don't know what I'd replace them with, and I'd have to rewrite the dinner scene (*straight up cries at the thought*), and I am a slow writer, so I have no idea when it would be done! I kinda hate the idea of telling everyone "We're going to be a chapter a week!" and then three chapters later going "Haha, just kidding! Indefinite hiatus while I fix the entire plot!" Especially since right now reader comments are definitely my primary 'happy chemical' source and I need that! On the other hand, I really, really love the idea of this being a one shot and not having to figure out what happens next! But it might not get done for another ten years if I try that!
If I do stick with him as heir, it seems like people would know that not recognizing him was an option, so I'd still need to do some rewriting to explain why he winds up heir! And why would he? The only thing I can come up with given my current setting is Cora pitching an ever loving (dignified, restrained) fit over the idea of not acknowledging him and he and Robert just going "OKAY OKAY WE YIELD!" which will still take some rewriting, but a lot less (I think I can keep the rewrites ahead of the posting schedule for the most part maybe?), and will still leave me figuring out where we go from here, but might work as a decent compromise?
Either way, I have to figure out what I'm doing before I post next week's chapter! And all my brain wants to do is melt into a puddle of goo for a month! The idea of trying to research or plot or anything like that just makes me want to sit in the shower and cry! I WANT A MONTH'S VACATION FROM LIFE, DAMN IT ALL!
Edit: I now have an appointment to have my hand looked at this Wednesday.
#downton abbey#downton abbey fanfiction#thomas barrow#fanfiction#writing#historical information#revisions ahoy#no spoons left#not even a spork#help please#i need someone to think for me#stolen child#thomas-as-heir fic
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“What about angels?” Dean turns his gaze to Cas over the rim of his beer bottle.
“What about them?” Cas answers, his gaze unwavering as ever as it meets Dean’s steadily from his spot in the chair next to Dean.
“Do they have any, y’know?” Dean gestures vaguely in the air with the hand that isn’t holding his beer.
Cas sighs. “No, Dean, I don’t know.”
Dean suspects that isn’t actually true. Cas has been good at reading Dean like an open book and to filth equally and simultaneously practically since the moment they met and he has never had any qualms about stating Dean’s unspoken truths if he felt it was necessary, no matter how Dean felt about it. So he certainly would be able to follow the thought process Dean had followed to jump from their previous topic to this one. But sometimes Cas just liked to fuck with Dean, and other times he liked to force Dean to communicate clearly, despite them both being on the same page and knowing it.
“Mating rituals.” Dean supplies because it becomes clear that whether Cas knew what he meant or not, he wasn’t going to offer anything further to this conversation unless Dean started it.
“You’re asking about angel mating rituals?” Cas asks with enough surprise that Dean briefly thinks that maybe he really didn’t know.
“Well,” Dean shrugs and takes a long draw of his beer. “Yeah.”
Cas’s gaze turns curious as it pierces into Dean, and he looks like he would love to probe around in Dean’s head for some sort of explanation. “Angels don’t—“
“Wait!” Dean cuts him off before he gets a chance to answer. “I want to guess.” He swirls the remaining half of the beer around in his bottle while he thinks before snapping a finger and pointing it at Cas. “I bet you’re like peacocks! You fluff your feathers up all big and do some dorky dance.”
The look on Cas’s face is priceless— somewhere between shocked and incredulous and Dean wants to commit it to memory forever. “No, Dean.”
“Damn.” Dean mumbles, reclining in his seat. “What about a nest? Do you build nests for your mates? Not with like twigs and shit, obviously, but— I dunno, pillows or blankets or something?”
“I believe that’s called a pillow fort.” Cas supplies dryly.
“I’ll take that as a no, then.” Dean taps a finger along the edge of his beer bottle, the condensation cool against his fingertip. “Find a shiny rock and gift that to them? Or like, a pretty piece of glass or something?”
Cas’s expression has turned long-suffering. “Are you going to compare me to every feathered creature you know?”
“Yeah,” Dean doesn’t even try to hide his own self-satisfied amusement. “If you give me long enough.”
Dean tries to think of anything that he can actually picture Cas doing. Because yeah, Cas likes shiny rocks and pretty glass as much as anybody does just because they’re nice to look at, but he doesn’t seem overly affected by them. And yeah, when he naps, he’s been known to find the softest and coziest blanket to curl up with, but that’s just smart. Dean has never seen Cas’s wings, so that’s a fifty-fifty shot, he supposes, but he’s also never seen Cas dance and can’t even picture it in his head.
“Well, allow me to spare us a long— though very enlightening, I’m sure— conversation.” Cas’s glare is unimpressed but it slides right off Dean while barely even drawing his attention. “Angels don’t have mating rituals because angels don’t mate.”
That stops all of Dean’s thoughts short. He turns his gaze back to Cas, surprised to find that Cas has turned to stare absently at one of the bookshelves in the room.
“They don’t?” Dean asks after the silence stretches thin between them.
“No.” Cas answers. And though his response is firm, it’s not mean or cold. “Angels don’t know love, Dean. At least, not romantic love. The only sort of love an angel is meant to feel is the sort of holy love for our father and his creations. The idea of romance doesn’t exist in heaven or to angels at all. There’s no need for mating rituals when mating isn’t something that would ever occur to or appeal to an angel.”
Dean thinks about this for a long time, the rim of his beer bottle pressed against his lower lip but he doesn’t take a sip.
In general, Dean has no problem believing that angels don’t love. In general, angels are selfish dicks and he can’t imagine any of them caring about anything other than themselves. In general, angels would never put someone before themselves in a way that’s required for both platonic and romantic love. But in more specific terms—
Well there is one angel who wears a trench coat and a tie that matches his eyes. There’s an angel who fell from heaven for the love of humanity. There’s an angel who has bled for love, died for love, given up everything that love is supposed to mean to an angel and completely rewritten the definition. There is an angel that has spent the better part of a decade looking at Dean in a way that he doesn’t look at anyone else, making Dean’s toes curl in his boots with the intensity of it.
“But…” the gears are turning as Dean tries to refocus his gaze on Cas. Cas isn’t looking directly at him, but Dean knows that Cas is watching him in his periphery, gauging Dean’s reaction without looking like he’s putting a significant amount of weight into it. “That’s not true.”
“Dean, I am quite certain that I know more about angels than you do.” Cas remarks.
Dean doesn’t rise to the bite of the comment. “But you love.” He says instead.
“Of course, I love humanity and the Earth very much.” Cas answers reasonably.
“Yeah,” Dean says. “I know.” And then, “but I mean romantically.”
“Dean—“
“Don’t you?” Dean challenges.
Cas doesn’t answer the question directly. “I am not a very good angel.”
“You’re the only good one.” Dean replies quickly and easily, with every ounce of sincerity he has.
Because Cas is the only good Angel. Cas is the only one who gets it, who cares, who actually wants what’s best for the world.
Cas is also the only one who can make Dean’s stomach squirm the way it does whenever he’s at Dean’s side. He’s the only one who makes Dean feel safe, the only one Dean trusts. He’s the only one Dean would ever trust or picture a future with. He’s the only one who makes Dean’s fingertips tremble, his heart stumble, his throat dry.
Granted, he’s the only person who does any of that for Dean, Angel or not.
“You think too highly of me.” Cas says before sipping his own beer that he had been nursing for the majority of the conversation.
“You’re avoiding the question.” Dean hedges.
Because— yeah, okay, Dean isn’t stupid. He sees his own feelings reflected in Cas’s eyes when Cas looks at him. He understands what it means when Cas steps closer to him, or gives up an entire goddamn army for him. Dean can be slow on the uptake with emotional shit, but he’s not that slow. And it probably helps that he sees it so clearly because he feels it so clearly in his own heart.
He knows the yearning, the longing, the desire. He knows all the fantasies of the happy-ever-after, all the filthier fantasies that fill up the days in between. He knows what it’s like to want to cling to Cas, to desperately plead with him to never leave Dean’s side. He knows the agony of their separation as acutely as possible. He gets it.
And he also knows why this has never happened, why neither of them have ever crossed that line, even though they’ve never even dared to hint at its existence before. Because he knows that what they would have— that would be forever. It would be ruinous in the most beautiful way, burning down everything around them and blazing a path to eternity. And for so many goddamn years, forever and eternity were in danger. For so many years, a future of any goddamn length was in danger.
What would be the point of starting something meant to last forever when forever didn’t exist? It hurt like enough of a bitch every time Dean lost Cas and he didn’t know if that was the last time he’d ever see him. If he’d lost his forever then, too, instead of just his best friend— well, what the hell reason would he have had to keep fighting? It was self preservation in its barest form, the knowledge that they could only keep going if they kept apart. Because that would keep them fighting, keep them determined to reach the day where forever was finally secured and they could fall into each other without reservations.
And, well, Dean hadn’t killed Chuck, but he had taken the bastard off the board so forever was well and truly theirs if they wanted it.
And Dean wanted it.
He wanted it so bad he almost didn’t know how to have it.
Cas is staring back at Dean now, seeming to go through the same mental calculations that Dean is going through. Dean just hopes that Cas has any idea how to reach out and grab the one thing they both want.
Cas takes a breath, sets his beer down.
“Yes.” He answers simply. “I do.”
Dean swallows against a dry throat. “So?” He prompts. “What’s your big game plan? You get to make up any mating ritual you want.”
“You know,” Cas says offhandedly. “If I tell you my big ‘game plan’, as you call it, you will have to give me feedback on it. How else am I meant to know if it would work?”
Dean licks his bottom lip. “I’m being trusted to approve the first ever angel mating ritual?” He aims for lighthearted, even though he can feel his pulse in his fingertips. “Lay it on me.”
“Well,” Cas doesn’t sound as nervous as Dean feels, even though he knows that he doesn’t really have any reason to feel that way. “I was thinking that I would start with the classic spark— maybe have multiple, raining down.”
Dean chokes on half of a disbelieving laugh.
“Then I would spend about, oh, over a decade at his side, always coming when he called and leaving when he got sick of me. I would try very, very hard to navigate his boundaries and I would be unsuccessful.” Cas’s smile is wry. “I would betray him a time or two.”
“Keep him guessing.” Dean says, the smile clear in his voice.
“Exactly.” Cas is smiling more genuinely now. “I would probably die for him a few times, too. Maybe even accidentally start a family with him.”
Dean has set his own beer down now. “You gotta add in some, like, intense eye contact, or something.”
“And no personal space.” Cas agrees with a nod.
Dean laughs outright now, the nerves draining completely from his body. He had no idea the conversation would steer this way when he had asked what he assumed was an innocent enough question, but he’s glad that it did. Because if he’d had time to prepare for this conversation, time to anticipate it, he knows that he would’ve chickened out. Just like he has so many times in the past.
When his laughter dies down, Cas says “well?”
“What can I say, man?” Dean leans onto the armrest of his chair, putting himself closer to Cas. “It would work on me.”
“Oh, would it?” Cas asks as he, too, leans into the barely there space that’s separating them.
“Hell yeah.” Dean murmurs, reaching across to wrap a hand around Cas’s tie. “Would have me all weak-kneed and giggling.”
Cas starts to say something back but Dean honestly doesn’t give a shit what, so he tugs on the tie and draws Cas to him, pressing a far overdue kiss to his lips. Cas, as always, meets him in the middle, a hand gently encircling Dean’s wrist as he kisses him back with ten years of pent of adoration.
One kiss turns into two, turns into seven before they finally settle back into their respective seats.
“First angel mating ritual in history,” Dean says around a satisfied smile. “And you were successful.”
“Yes, I’ll be sure to tell the other angels in case any of them have a free decade to spend seducing one of the most frustratingly stubborn men on earth.” Cas replies in a way that is full of endearment instead of the frustration he mentioned.
Dean just laughs and kisses him again.
#I can’t explain this#the idea just wouldn’t leave me alone#so I had to type it up so it would go away#destiel#deancas#spn#supernatural#ficlet
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yea.... 😭😭😭
now my logical followup is rewatching rogue one for the first time since seeing it (multiple times) in theaters i believe? Will i cry a lot, which i am always prone to do w/media & things but all the more so lately, it seems
#several times & getting a bit extra weepy for the end as the obvious zone for that lol. no guarantee but like yep ummm Arrrrghhhh#also paying attention to jyn the protagonist b/c like. i was never here as a Star Wars Enjoyer but those who were seemed to have those like#mixed/tepid reactions. v limited / inconclusive & i think Overall it was fairly well received but i mean i neither Know nor really Care lol#Eye liked it & probably would've liked it even more if there was Less star wars in there lmfao. but it's a bold december major release#and i know it's like immediate [original star wars movie] prequel. and star wars. so i can't begrudge it much lol but eh could pare it down#anyways & w/andor i could truly forget entire major star wars elements so that's a win. while still being obviously like Scifi World.#i'm also not saying ''finally. a series for strwrs haters lmfao'' either. it's great & like Technically star wars. echo tells me the#showrunner ''doesn't care about star wars'' (positive) like Ah that does explain things / come through. there's just no like; distinct#drive to like tie it in to other materials one way or another & that serves it well; i have no desire to frame it within my love for strwrs#seeing as i don't have that. but Anyways i do remember there were always specific complaints abt jyn the rogue one protagonist? i think#maybe i recall someone saying her motivation was confusing or smthing and beyond that i'm just not certain abt what wasn't working for ppl#b/c rewatching it i'm like. i mean i never expect to Love a protag or anything but i do also like her lol. and wuh oh the difference in#perspective? Might be an [im autistic; for one] thing lol. like i can only guess at and try to reverse engineer other Interpretations; as#always; especially like ''how would an allistic person view things? i really often learn i have no goddamn idea'' but like. idk maybe i#am missing what i'm missing but i feel like her motivation is established Enough? changes her mind abt things b/c of her dad? the one thing#she can care about besides implicit scrapping around in survival mode prior to these events? but again maybe im missing what im missing lol#but the other part of it is just like. maybe she comes off as awkward lmfao. like she's Sort Of Withholding but not in a cool steely way;#especially past the beginning when she's probably not Trying to be closed off; but is just somewhat naturally that way as a person by now#but now also her earnest / Relatively open mode is also not like; bold and Strong in an intense way or i suppose charismatic; b/c she's#again just got the natural wariness going on / isn't going to be like that? and maybe that blend comes off as ''worst of both worlds'' to#people but for me i'm like yeah that's regular; understandable; familiar; even fun like sure yep. but Because that's my reaction it's like#well maybe for a central character that Is confusing or offputting to people b/c. well you know. just like real life?#and otherwise ppl talking about ''well how could we be invested in these characters enough'' like i also dunno what to tell you lol#maybe that's a Hurdle if you're here b/c you love star wars. since these are all basically OCs in this Standalone Movie i suppose#and/or maybe it's like; they didn't have the interactions people expect or interpret as [get invested] stuff? didn't share a ton with the#audience through backstory? but again i'm like....that works great for me lol? we get their personalities; everyone bonding over like Okay#here we go operating together / parallel on the same mission; comrade. even if ppl aren't having warm conversations. like ofc i Get That.#when ppl are like Ayyy at the pilots they ofc can't communicate with. that's still a social moment. they're still besties b/c of this.#anyways ofc no universal objective interpretations/experiences; there's just also ones that might tend to apparently need explaining vs the#ones that tend to apparently go without saying. also this film v correct for Comrades(tm) deuteragonists. forgot the elevator shot & 😭😭😭
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Atlas: So your boss had you work through your break? Bee…
Taryn: It’s fiiine, I ate my granola bar in between sorting books.
Atlas: You know that isn’t a healthy place to be at, right?
Taryn: Yeah, but it pays decently.
Atlas: Are you like the sole provider of your house…?
Taryn: Oh no! I’m not sure if Kai mentioned it, but our parents are in Selvadorada taking care of my grandma. She’s really sick and well, we made this arrangement. They take care of a majority of rent and Kai and I take care of utilities and the rest.
Atlas: Ah, I see. I’m sorry to hear about your grandma.
Taryn: I appreciate it. She’s a kind woman, she used to make me champurrado on Christmas and it was the best.
Atlas: That’s really sweet. I’ve always wondered what that tastes like. Growing up, Toni was adamant on us not meeting our grandparents, so we never got to experience anything. Is it just fancy hot chocolate?
Taryn: I mean it has chocolate, but the consistency and flavor is a bit different.
Atlas: Huh… Want to make some later on tonight?
Taryn: Sure! I was actually wondering, you seemed a bit eager to skip out on that party.
Atlas: Do you still feel bad? Don’t! Besides Dan couldn’t even type out a proper response which tells me they’re having a great time… Without me.
Taryn: So you did want to go.
Atlas: No! No.
Atlas: I didn’t want to see Frances. That’s the honest answer.
Taryn: OH, I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize things were bad.
Atlas: Nah, I’m sorry, I didn’t want to sour the evening.
Taryn: Atlas, you don’t have to pretend around me. What’s on your mind?
Atlas: Frances and I… We have our differences. Sometimes it feels like the things that matter to me aren’t important to her and that’s fine, I guess.
Taryn: And this is in regards to?
Atlas: Toni. She feels like I have something to prove.
Taryn: But you do.
Atlas: Taryn-
Taryn: And you know you shouldn’t.
Atlas: But-
Taryn: So the question is, why?
Atlas: I think it’s the satisfaction of beating an impossible challenge. God, I sound like I’m into being humiliated or something.
Taryn: He isn’t worth it but you already know that. My job also isn’t worth it, I’m aware but people often do things that we know aren’t good for us. As for Frances, she isn’t your enemy, but I think maybe the two of you need to find common ground in how you both communicate.
Atlas: [ begins to attempt to speak before falling silent again ]
Taryn: What?
Atlas: Nothing, I’m just glad to be here with you. Thank you. [ bewp ] Your glasses keep slipping down your face.
Taryn: I know, I need to get them fixed- Wait, don’t change the subject. You have something to say.
Atlas: I dunno what you’re talking about.
Taryn: Atlas the bike-
Atlas: Wha- Fuck!
Taryn: I- We should head back.
Atlas: Yeah, of course.
#there's like so much on my mind after writing this i might talk about it in a separate post IDK YET#i personally feel like#this is the first actual moment that they both see each other because before there were moments in the past but i felt like#atlas was truly being the person in which he always presents himself which is a completely fabricated/polished version#so to be able to show up in a way that he rarely does (even around friends) is such a big deal to the point where he almost considered#telling taryn the one secret he's so ashamed to share GAH#GAHHH#IMMA SHUT UP NOW LMAOOOOO#tessellate#sims 4 story#tessellate: atlas#tessellate: taryn
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whatever you write is probably going to take me straight out but i love the way your fics do that to me, so "laughing while kissing" for the soft prompts please and thank you 🤗
-@buckactuallys
Soundtrack to this one. Soft prompts! Finished ones!
“Chimney’s doing another round of s’mores, you want one?”
Buck half turns from his spot at the edge of the tide. It was hot enough earlier that the cool bite of the ocean around his ankles still feels good as they creep closer to midnight than evening. “Nah, I had like eight of them with the kids.”
Eddie does a little hop over the foamy surf to stand beside him, and then licks his marshmallowy fingers clean. “Suit yourself.”
Another wave comes in and Eddie does his little hop over it again, except they really are at the very edge of the water so there's not really much foam to avoid. Buck squints at him a little, but he's unable to help the fond smile yanking his mouth around.
"What… are you doing?"
"Huh? Oh…" Eddie looks down at his feet and lets out a sort of bashful laugh. "Uh, we came to the coast to visit Pepa when we were kids - like little kids, I don't know if I was even five yet - and, uh…" Eddie looks at him, also sort of squinting and smiling. "I had it in my head that if the very edge of a wave touched me I'd get eaten by an alligator."
"W- why?" Buck gets out past a laugh. Eddie shoves him gently.
"I dunno, I was four. Made sense at the time. I think I maybe thought California was in Florida."
Buck laughs again, and when the next wave comes and they both hop over it he laughs harder, hands on his knees as Eddie chuckles beside him. He hasn’t bothered to straighten up when Eddie speaks again.
“Not in a bonfire mood?”
Buck looks out at the moon’s reflection cutting a path all the way to the distant islands that are just visible on this clear, bright night. “Just nice to be in a different ocean for a bit.”
Eddie hums, and kicks a little wet sand at him. “Now who thinks he’s in Florida? Same ocean, Buck, we’re two hours from home.”
“You know what I mean.” He waves a hand in a sweeping gesture. “It’s… vacation ocean.”
Eddie’s smiling in a way that seems to have trapped the words in his mouth, and Buck has to look back out at the waves or the full moon will give away the burning in his cheeks. “Yeah,” Eddie says eventually. “I know what you mean.”
Buck thinks he does. Eddie is the responsible one, of the two of them, level headed and no nonsense and calm, so it's been a little delightful to watch him throw himself into this camping trip with reckless abandon. He’d challenged the firefighters among them in a swimming race out to the floating platforms just offshore, begged alongside the kids to go walk down the beach to the little burger joint for ice cream, and charged around the woods with them after dinner, playing right along in their game of hunting for a spaceship full of aliens that might want to make friends, blinking their flashlights and throwing their laughter up into the sky in attempts to communicate.
Buck had spent the week before the trip feeling kind of sad about getting dumped, and feeling kind of guilty for not feeling more sad, and feeling a little… something, about how relieved Eddie had looked when he’d told him things with Marisol had also fizzled out. He’d liked Natalia, a lot. She was cool, and beautiful, and thought he was too, and she knew so little about him and his life that she felt like a safe place to exist without context for a while. It’s all a little dreamy, though, in hindsight, and Buck thinks he’d maybe tricked himself into finding a new method of running away from his own life disguised as grabbing on to a new one.
Vacation ocean. Maybe that’s what this is, too, another escape. Except Eddie is here, standing next to him and real as anything.
Buck feels like he’s got all the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle floating around in his head, and has just started in on the edges when Eddie says “Hello, earth to Buck.”
“Oh, sorry, were you saying something?” Buck takes a step further into the water, back to the waves despite any good advice about ocean safety. Eddie’s watching out for him, he’ll be ok.
“No, not really.”
“Did you ever find them?” Buck is wet up to his mid calves now.
“Who?”
“The friendly aliens.”
Eddie’s face scrunches into a grin. “Uh huh. Turns out they like s’mores too. And look a lot like Maddie and Jee-Yun.”
Buck breathes out laughter, and Eddie steps closer to him. “I didn’t text Bobby this morning.”
“Well, he was like five feet away. Drew short straw, had to set up his tent next to you and your rhinoceros snores.”
Buck takes another step back, and Eddie takes another step forward. They’re wet to the knees, now. “I mean… I was less surprised today. When I woke up.”
Eddie’s expression almost looks neutral, Buck can only see the smile because he might know this man’s face better than his own. “Yeah?”
“Mmhm.”
Eddie nods. “That’s good. You’ve seemed a little… something.”
“Before now, or this weekend?”
Eddie tilts his head, in a move so like Buck himself it makes him smile. “Both. In different ways.”
Buck takes another half step back, water licking at his thighs. “I think things were a little dull before. I think things are a little bright now. Letting my eyes adjust.”
Eddie nods again, thoughtful, and just a hair nervous. “Hope you like the view.”
Buck grins with half his mouth, biting his cheek with the other. “Mmhm.”
They’re quiet for a moment, the gentle roar of waves around them, a distant happy shout drifting over from the campground. Eddie takes the half step to close the distance. “Buck,” he sighs. “I have bad news.”
“What?” He frowns, and his stomach flip flops just a little. He’d like to think he knows Eddie well enough that he hadn’t misread the situation, but he’s been known to be an idiot about these kinds of things before.
“Unfortunately…” Eddie tilts his head forward, very close to Buck’s own, and says “There were also evil aliens and I did get possessed by one,” before shoving him backwards into the sea.
Buck goes down laughing, and comes up spluttering. Eddie is giggling as he moves sideways in the surf to escape revenge, but he’s not trying all that hard and Buck’s lunge takes him off his feet. They roll around in the water, a lot colder now that it's not just their ankles submerged, and end up in a kind of breathless tangled together kneeling situation, rocked by the current as it comes and goes.
“You piece of shit,” Buck says, fully grinning, and Eddie roars with laughter. “We’re gonna get our tents soaking wet.”
“So we change in yours and you come to mine,” Eddie says, a little scared and a little brave.
Buck splashes him, and Eddie laughs, and then Buck kisses him, and Eddie laughs into that too, the sound a little disbelieving and a lot giddy. Buck pushes forward into it and Eddie falls back till he’s sitting and they’re both almost underwater, so Buck pulls him back up again and Eddie chases the kiss, and they’re both laughing into it now, puffs of air passed back and forth between them.
“This is-“ Buck speaks the words mostly into Eddie’s mouth, shaking a little from the giggling and the cold and the everything else. “I can come to your tent?”
“Yeah, Buck.”
“And this is- it’s vacation ocean?”
Eddie pulls back, just a tiny bit, and puts his hand on Buck’s face, fingers already a little pruny. “It’s the same ocean as always, Buck.”
“I can… come home, after?”
“You can come home forever,” Eddie says, and kisses him again. It’s not a very successful kiss, what with Buck nodding into it and Eddie smiling too much to work his mouth at all, but Buck is putting it in the top five kisses of his life anyway. “Come on, let's go get dry.” Eddie stands up out of the water, and then pulls Buck to shore.
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Thank you! So here I am to infodump, full of gratitude, and you can post this if you want no problem it's just a bunch of scattered ideas so yeah. Feel free to chuck suggestions at me too! I really don't know what to do with these... building blocks just yet.
Akatani Mikumo is Midoriya Hisashi.
Toshinori gets sandwiches by the Midoriya couple and it turns into an OT3 but that's much later down the line.
Hisashi is a journalist, keeps getting into everybody's business and Knows™ more than he frankly should.
Hisashi is a Cryptid™. But of a different energy from his son who is all lightning-in-a-bottle jittery On The Verge Of Throwing Hands feral sort of cryptid, Hisashi is mostly of this... supernaturally unflappable blank-faced chill entity.
Who keeps spooking people bc No Footstep sounds.
And might possibly be partially mute or just ridiculously soft-spoken bc when he tries to speak at normal volumehis fire-breathing quirk goes ballistic.
Might or might not have bloodline relations to AFO. Origins ambiguous, Inko just literally plucked the (then) teen off a back alley like he was a stray cat.
Also might or might not have more than one quirk, see the probable AFO connection.
Izuku got his mumbling thing from Hisashi.
A cryptid man who seems normal enough except a little off-kilter, like two inches to the left of what's a “normal” man? Weirdo but nobody can pinpoint how or why. That's the sort of vibe I want with this Hisashi.
And some Wack™ backstory lore I came up w for Hisashi, I dunno what I'll do w it but:
Cw: mention of infant murder, bc I'm Me™ and I was thinking about Yotsumegami (it's my favorite game) and how my version of Hisashi would tie in with it.
Yanno how in Yotsumegami “unwanted children” (children with disabilities, the younger of a twin pair or every sibling except the eldest in triplets or higher, etc) would be killed (it's a real historical practice in Japan, mabiki, they called it) or something like that? Would be kinda fun if an offshoot of that variety existed in the BnHA world, even if it's not outright child murder kids would be abandoned, especially in the chaos of the Dawn of Quirks. People who were scared of quirked people would abandon their quirked child, quirkist folk abandoned their quirkless children, it's chaos.
It would be more prominent during the initial chaos, though I guess laws and stuff would've been passed later on to prevent it or at least cut down the numbers— and the practice fizzled out but there's still a few remote rural villages who accept “unwanted” children.
One such secret community could be like, giving the surname “Akatani” (red valley, for the red of spider lilies used in mabiki in times past) to the children that were discarded at their metaphorical door. Do they still practice mabiki? Debatable. But it's like a giant secret orphanage with questionable, cult-like mentalities.
Akatani Hisashi was one of those until he miraculously escaped and tried to survive in the outside world.
Or maybe he didn't have the Akatani surname at first bc nobody in the remote village had any surname but once he got out he might've created the surname as a way to hm, not quite honor but carry his origins into his new life.
(maybe Yoichi was almost mabiki'd too, like I said I'm still not entirely sure where I'm going with this)
So Izuku gets to grow up w two parents who care a great deal for him. Maybe they move away, resulting in Izuku not having to deal w Bakugou in his childhood. Maybe Izuku makes friends with some other future 1-A classmate.
The Commission keeps trying to track down this one rogue “vigilante reporter” whose name is unknown. And they keep failing because Hisashi (along with his son and excessive gaggle of... comrades? followers? does the Midoriya family accidentally create an organization of rabid info gatherers?) is a certified cryptid.
Izuku has his hands in so many pots. He's a lot more nosey than in canon probably?
Endeavor had better be prepared bc his entire way of life is about to go up in smoke
I don't know why but I just have this very strong feeling that Stain doesn't like Hisashi for one reason or another.
I... wouldn't be entirely opposed to the AU just chucking Bakugou out the window so that he's not in 1-A (or in UA at all, fuck that pomeranian) and instead is replaced by another loud blond...
Fucking Monoma, LMAO.
A lot of the AU is just ?????? for now and most of it is Hisashi backstory but hnnnnng I want to do something with these jigsaw pieces I just don't know what
Also I'll be sending in Hisashi's design in a non-anon ask but could you append it to this ask's answer instead? Thanks!
I adore everything about this!?!?!
Also I didn't get another ask, anon or not, so Tumblr might have eaten it
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Dunno if you watched SK8 the Infinity, but one important conflict is literally the protagonist Reki becoming extremly insecure and unmotivated in skating after seeing how his new friend Langa (a snowboarder) who has barely started skating is a prodigy and so much better at it than him, who has been skating since he was a child.
Langa is naturally talented at skating while Reki works hard and still cannot measure up to someone who just started, which makes him consider quit skating altogether and leads him to distance himself from Langa because of insecurity and jealousy.
Those type of scenarios just pull at the heartstrings, you know?? Like there is nothing worse than working hard and still feeling inferior to the people around you, which DOES make for juicy angsty scenarios :)(
No but literally those are the kinds of plots where you kinda immerse yourself in the grief and it can be empowering to see your underdog recover, but also GOD is that shit so depressing and hits close to home, for real the kind of plots I soak up and throw pity parties for myself for lol
You know I've been pretty open about it but like, every so often I get compliments on my writing that are very sweet, but ultimately I do have to acknowledge like 😅 I AM basically a self taught high school drop out. So especially when I personally start writing about these sorts of stories "lol what if Reader is a depressed fucking loser absolutely struggling through the mediocre machinations of life and has Strong Hot Person come save them" like. You know where that's coming from lmao 😂 extremely unsettle but I figure what I write is usually relatable enough that it's like why the fuck not be a little personal sometimes
God though I had initially considered that when I was talking about like the Spiderverse You vs YouTwo ideas, initially considered making YouTwo drastically superior to you, but the route I've decided on is, you're on equal footing and there are certain things you each do better than the other but, seeing them be better than you at anything is salt in your wounds since you're feeling replaced.
I also like obviously have mentioned it several times but like. Living with Damian Wayne specifically would be absolute awful for this scenario, especially if you make your yandere mean or whatever. Like you could be minding your own goddamn business doing your favorite hobby and have this snot nosed fucking 10 year old (this one, the nasty one, before he gets tamed down, potentially by you?) and he's just like "that's not how you're supposed to do it" and physically takes it out of your hands, does it for you, and explains to you what you were doing wrong the entire time
Like imagine platonic yandere Damian who can't communicate his feelings for shit and is still deep in his Little Hellion Phase so you think he's just constantly insulting you and trying to show how much better and smarter than you he is when in reality he's just like. Very Poorly being like, "oh, a chance to show my sibling how cool and smart I am, and then I can teach them and they'll like me :) and they like to learn new things so I should teach them as much as I know and they can feel smart too :)" and on your end you're thinking he's an egotistical MEAN little kid who's making you extremely insecure and feel worthless and stupid and maybe sometimes often he's, not always using the best language with you because he wasn't really raised with kindness. "Why would you think THAT'S how you do it?" With a tone like youre a fucking idiot, "I don't understand what you're not seeing, I've been doing this for years and I'm an actual child"
like genuinely it's all of those "someone else one upping you" ideas but WORSE because you can't leave this fucking house and he's TEN. Youve got a fucking TEN YEAR OLD physically and mentally one upping you CONSTANTLY with the mental abilities of like a fucking adult man. I feel like the entire family being trained in violence, you'd think they would understand having like a physical fight and have probably had many themselves, but the second YOU lose your temper and put a hand on any of THEM, SACRILEGE. Damian couldve been saying the cuntiest things to your face and the SECOND you swing on him, just absolutely lose your shit, suckerpunch that brat in his face, give him a literal black eye that he didn't block because he didn't expect his beloved sibling to hit him, Bruce is UP YOUR ASS about, "you know better than this! That's your brother!!" like straight up, I think messing with one of the Robins or members of his family is the fastest way to have yandere Bruce lose patience with you and do something less loving. Takes away privileges, grounds you, makes you do labor around the house or labor for him in the cave or Damian, forces you to apologize and also acknowledge "that my brother just wanted what was best for me 🙄"
He's the kind of overbearing calculating shit where he waits until everyone is at the family dinner table and he casually pauses in between spoonfuls of soup, "so I see sister has been sneaking out of the house. You didn't do a very good job of washing the cigarette smoke out of your jacket" ousting you in a double whammy combo for sneaking out without permission AND smoking, and of course you're responding something like "you little PRICK!!" and now Bruce is standing up, jabbing a finger towards the stairs as he demands you go to your room with the unspoken threat that's he's coming up there to speak to you about this after everyone eats
Like legit living in that house would be a nightmare because everyone is gifted and everyone's doing somersaulting backflips and it's like. Lmao my knees pop when I stand up :) you're all like insanely gifted in your fields and I'm like. Normal. Some would say a simple minded burnout, even. Like. Lmao. Imagine a scenario where you're still independent and doing your own thing bur Bruce is, you know yandere mode and keeping tabs on you, and he's constantly trying to like, nudge you towards better opportunities. You're in costume on a rooftop and suddenly he's asking you about your schooling. You're working a shitty day job and one day the in universe equivalent sends you am email "based on your qualifications, this employer is interested in your resume" and its a super well paying WayneTech job that you. Turn down because you'd either fail the drug test and don't think you're good enough lmao. Bruce just tearing his hair out as he decides "ok fine I'll make your life better by force" and just starts buying your apartment building and where you work or some shit so he can improve your quality of life from the outside
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new Maverick headcanon that after the layton mission Iceman and Slider stay out on deployment whilst Maverick teaches at Top Gun. Without Goose, without friends he gets lonely so he starts going to church. Not because he's religious, not because he wants to repent his sins (though the guilt still weighs heavy) but because he wants to feel apart of a community. And he's straight up honest about it. When the old ladies start asking him about bible verses he just says 'I don't know any', and surprisingly they respect that. Maybe they see the dog tags and dark circles but someone will bring him frozen meals and some of the families invite him for dinner. He holds their hands and says Amen and that's enough for some reason. He's never had to do so little to be accepted.
Maybe six months down the line Ice gets shore leave long enough to come through Miramar. He arrives in town late on a saturday, with no way to find Maverick, no cell or address, he heads down to the base early on Sunday morning to find someone who knows.
"He'll be in Church," the gateman says. Ice's eyes nearly pop out of his head. Hesitantly he begins the drive to the only church in town, wondering what sort of religious nut Maverick's become. By the time he gets there the sermon must be over, but the guard was right. Maverick's there, sitting quietly with his hands shoved in his leather jacket to fight off the chill.
His boots echo painfully across the building's walls. He slides into the pew and watches the look of surprise spread across Maverick's face.
"Ice," he whispers.
"Hey Maverick. What are you doing here?"
Maverick gives him a look. "What are you doing here?"
"Looking for you." He gives him a look, now your turn.
"I like it. It's nice to be apart of something."
He smiles gently. "Mav, your in the Navy. Your already apart of something."
"I know. I don't believe in it. Carol does, I know she believes that Goose is up there watching out for all of us. And I feel him when the sun hits the horizon and there's a glare on my canopy. I dunno. I they just accepted me. They were happy to have me. It doesn't feel like that in the Navy. They invite me round for dinner and stuff."
Ice watches him thoughtfully. "That's nice."
On their way out, a sign for donations catches Ice's eye and he digs for his wallet fumbling with the coin pocket. He wants a way to say thank you to these people for looking after his wingman when a plaque catches his eye.
Thank you for the generous donation of $700 from Lt. Pete Mitchell in memory of Lt. Nick Bradshaw.
He feeds a hand full of notes into the acrylic box.
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I'm really starting to enjoy the stage of DID recovery I'm at. It's got a funkiness to it that I don't see others talk about all that much, where it's like... kinda hard to pinpoint what state my system is in at any point in time, but not distressingly so? And also not in a dissociative way like before. It's like, I'm able to feel all these bits of me flowing in and out of my consciousness and sense of identity and I lack any sort of solid definition of what this version of me wants to be or what my destination is. I'm just kinda going with the flow now instead of trying to steer us in any particular direction.
It's definitely a lot less stressful than it used to be and it feels like my brain has calmed down pretty significantly. It's less noisy in my head and I'm now realizing some of that was because there were parts of me who felt like they couldn't be heard before now don't feel the need to scream and bang on the walls to be noticed. And because we're less dissociated from each other, we can more immediately share thoughts and feelings instead of having to manually pass those things around to each other.
I've still got that ADHD buzz, but I'm now realizing the way I described it as being "50 trains of thoughts all at once" or "having 50 tabs open and all of them are playing different audio" no longer feels like it properly describes my experiences anymore. It's more like... I have a game running and that's the main thing I'm focusing on, but I also have a youtube video guide for something I'm trying to do in the game, while I'm also got notepad open to take notes, and another window open to crosscheck information. And maybe a couple random tabs open that are completely unrelated. Still got a lot of tabs and windows up, but they're more aligned to the same or similar purpose.
I do still have the different parts and alters and we still have new (as in unknown or undocumented) parts showing up pretty much daily, but they tend to get caught up to speed fairly quickly and even the ones who are very split off from the rest of the system don't feel as scary to handle (and feel less scared themselves) since we have such a strong support network and various other tools and resources at our disposal. I still feel like we're generally different and separate parts, but we also blend and fuse and influence each other in ways that feel a lot more fluid. Instead of having to purposefully communicate things with each other every time it's now a lot more instant and the hard barriers between each of us feel more and more arbitrary as the days go on. Kinda like looking at a map? Where you see the borders on the map, but at the end of the day you remove all of that and the landscape tells a different story and shows how all those "countries" are actually connected and one giant landmass. And those borders are still important to understand how they're there and why they exist, but it's not the whole story and can actually distract you from the bigger picture.
I dunno, I know I'm definitely in a transitional period of my healing and that's why things feel so vague and nebulous but I'm not complaining. If anything I'm pretty excited for what's to come.
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