#I dunno how the writers on here crank shit out in like

[astrolo-t]

come back😿

I'm trying <3

[slothgiirl]

shadowplay part 14

You’re going to miss LA. You think to yourself as you hoist your bag out the uber, considerably heavier than when you arrived a little under a week ago.

“I’ve got it love,” Alex grins, not waiting for your response, before taking the bag right out of your hands, clad in a jacket like the sun wasn’t shining high in the sky.

“I had it.”

“Yeah well,” he smiles, taking a moment to plant a kiss against your lips, “I’ve got it.”

You roll your eyes, leading the way into the airport, but can’t help the smile that grows on your lips. The warmth in your chest has nothing todo with the california sun, leaving you bubbly as fuck, the same way you’ve felt this whole week with Alex.

Even rock stars have to wait their turn to grab their tickets before having to go through the very unsexy security.  

Standing in line, the airports ac cranked up like crazy, you’re glad to be wearing one of Alex’s jackets. “ feel like a glorified coat hanger,” you tell him, “just here to keep your jacket from being ruined during the flight.”

Alex chuckles, “but you're much better company.”

“True,” you giggle, “can’t say the same for you though. It’s no fun getting tipsy while you're holding your own like a proper james bond.” Thinking back on the many drinking games you'd taken part of during the last week. Zack had been a surprising lightweight.

“Well-,”

Whatever he was about to say is lost. The sound of cameras clicking, a flash temporarily blinding your eyes. As a man urgently says, “Alex is this your new girlfriend!”

A camera clicks again.

“Alex! Look over here,” the man cries out.

You wish you had Alex's sunglass wearing habit, as you blink rapidly, trying to recover from the blinding flashes suddenly assaulting you.

One man becomes two becomes three. All jockeying for his attention. “Alex are you working on the new album!”

“Sweetheart, look over here!”

“Is she your new girlfriend!”

“When's the new album out!”

The people around you, who moments ago hadn't cared, look over, whispering under their breath. You don't know how celebrities like Kim Kardashian can deal with the media circus that surrounds their lives constantly you think as you try and ignore the flashes continuing to go off. Ignoring them like you would the pointed looks of your profs as you struggled to stay awake during seven in the morning lectures.

Alex, sensing your unease, slips his hand into yours, squeezing your hand in his tightly as he pulls you along up to the self check-ins.

It's easier to block them out when you're busy concentrating on printing your tickets.

“I swear my passport was just here,” you mutter. Your purse wasn't even that big. How could it have gotten lost.

Alex smirks, unable to help himself as he teases you, “should've given your passport to me love.”

You snort. “My passport picture should be kept between me and this unfortunate machine.” You had tried to bleach your hair blonde, but had only achieved a horrid orange color that you'd dyed back to black the next day.

You pull out the elusive passport, but Alex nabs it from your hands before you can scan it into the machine.

He looks down with a ridiculously sappy smile, “you look beautiful as ever.”

“Oh you're so full of shit,” you snipe back.

Alex chuckles, the machine finally printing your tickets, before leaning in and kissing you again, taking you bottom lip between his lips, for just a moment too long for such a public place.

You flush crimson, but can't make yourself look away from Alex; the man you've grown so fond of.

He'd never been this open and at ease of PDA back when you had been faking a relationship for his benefit. It makes you really wonder how his friends had bought it.

A crease forms between his brows, “don't mind the paps love. ‘s better if you just ignore ‘em.” There's a certain stiffness to his shoulders that hadn't been there moments ago too.

The paps bother him too. You're surprised he isn't used to it. Then again, he hadn't even spared them so much as a glance.

Understanding dawns on you, he was worried about how you'd react now that you'd both just decided to start dating. Alex doesn't want them to put you off.

You shake your head as you both make your way to TSA, Alex still holding your hand, keeping you close to him. “I was just thinking how I'd be a terrible paparazzi. They'd send me out to chase Britney Spears and I'd be like but what if she doesn't want to be bothered right now.”

He laughs as you step on the escalator up and leave the paps behind.

**

You're in the cab back from the airport as your phone buzzes, finally off from airplane mode. Ten different texts from your mum asking if you landed okay. All the work emails you put off in the states. And Sam sent you a million screenshots of you and Alex in the airport earlier with the text: i'm now celebrity adjacent and i WILL name drop.

You laugh, having expected nothing less from her.

“What,” Alex asks lazily, cigarette in hand, both the cabs windows down.

“Just Sam being Sam.” You reply.

He nods, becoming incredibly serious, too serious to be sincere, “she's your Matthew.”

“Well you're not wrong.” Sam was that close to you. “We're going house hunting tomorrow...later today. I hate jet lag.”

Alex grins. “Why don't you just move in with me,” he says simply, as though it's not a loaded question. As though it's really that easy.

Sending you through eighty five degrees of: you haven't told your parents, they're going to freak, you just started dating, too fast, you're parents were going to absolutely murder him because everyone in your family had been convinced you were going to die an old spinster by now.

“We just started dating,” you say instead.

Alex shoots you a puzzled look. “Technically it's been six months.”

“Stick to being clever in writing Alex,” you reply. “this has been on my to do list for a year now.” You have been saving up money and building credit for ages now.

“Okay so maybe it's been a week,” he shrugs, flicking the cigarette ash into the street, “but it feels like forever.”

You snort, your cheeks heating up all over again. You hadn't felt this happy with a man in ages. “Nice try but the answer’s still no.”

“Can I at least come with,” he pouts.

“No,” you laugh, “Sams going to want all the gossip as soon as I see her. Who else is going to tell her that Breanna really thinks rice crackers and peanut butter are a snack!”

“Don't be so hard on her.”

“You didn't have any either,” you counter. “I can understand someone eating healthy, I dunno if I've ever made a dress larger than a size 6, but I draw the line at trying to pretend kale chips taste good.”

“I hate peanut butter,” he answers, the laugh clear in his voice. “sticks to the roof of my mouth.”

“She also told me about this app that fakes plastic surgery for editing,” you add, “made me feel like an old woman. Only just discovered filters.” You really didn't use instagram for much more than following some writers and designers you admire.

“She hogged you all week,” Alex groans at the memory. Breanna telling you where to squat so her legs would look longer, her camera in your hands.

“It was fun. She's a hell of a hiker,” you admit. She'd been able to walk and talk easily, lugging around her camera with her, while the boys jammed out back at the cabin.

“Miles won't walk more than a block before whining. Ya sure I can’t go with you and Sam? I've gotten very used to having you around all the time”

“You can help me move in,” you tease.

“Oi!”

You lean in close to his ear, “promise I'll make it worth your time,” you practically purr, barely managing to keep from laughing.

Alex's cigarette falls out of his hand.

He turns to you fully, his hand cupping your cheek, a glint in his eye as the sun sets over London, “I'll hold you too it.”

You beat Alex to the bags, having learned by now that he wasn't about to let you pay. Which was for the best. But you could at the very least carry your own bag up the stairs to your flat.

“I've got it,” you shut him down, keeping a hand outstretched, so he doesn't just take the bag from your hand.

“Alright alright,” Alex laughs, following you up to your flat.

You were glad that he was staying. You had also gotten used to waking up to him every morning. To making out in bed first thing. Or lounging around on your phone as Alex tuned his guitar.  

It had been that way for a while if you were being honest with yourself.

Alex had carved out a place in your life long before he'd kissed you and told you he loved you.

Saying you had only been dating for a week meant nothing when you were already sure of the depth of your feelings for him.

“ ‘s it alright if I stay over,” Alex asks softly, leaning against the door while you search for your keys, looking just as hopeful and earnest as he had so long ago when drunk, when he'd tried to kiss you then.

You stick the key in the door, before turning to meet the warmth of his brown eyes, and kissing him for all the times you'd wanted to before: kissing him just because you can. You can't imagine ever being sick of the feel of his lips against yours. “Stay as long as you like.”

The door clicks open.

“All that's good,” Alex smiles, “I already ordered breakfast… ‘fink it's closer to lunch by now.”

“Oh thank god,” you reply, abandoning your bag next to the door and sinking into your sofa, stretching out all the kinks in your neck from having sat on a plane for the last nine hours. “I was just thinking how I was going to have to run to the grocery store.”

“We can go after.” Alex says, kicking off his shoes, and laying down next to you.

You giggle, scooting over as much as you can do there's room. Both of you are slight, so it's not hard to curl up on the sofa without feeling squished together. You relax against Alex, happy to waste your last hours of vacation with him.

[you-a-southpaw-doll]

Insomnia = New Negan Fic / General Update 6/16/2020

So...as usual (or at least usual for me since I have insomnia), it’s 6:30 am EST and I still can’t sleep, so what do I do? After reading several Negan x reader fics and John Winchester x reader fics (an assortment of one-shots and chaptered series) on AO3, creating a playlist on Spotify for my Another One Bites The Dust (AOBTD) Negan fic, and procrastinating on an idea I’ve been tossing ‘round in my head for a few days, I’m doing what any writer does: writing a new Negan one-shot. Maybe I’ll crank it all out in one go, and post it before hopefully falling asleep for a couple hours. Maybe I’ll crank some of it out and then fall asleep before waking up to finish it. I honestly dunno. But I am working on a new Negan x Leigh Sullivan (OFC) fic. 

I know I haven’t posted a new chapter for Lovin’ Him ~ A Negan!AU Chapter Series, but I haven’t been in a good mental place lately. (Depression sucks ass, y’all and COVID and everything else since I graduated college last month ain’t really helping). And I don’t need to make it worse by editing a story that I wrote at one of the lowest times for my mental health. BUT! Don’t worry, y’all, I will post another chapter when I can, as soon as my brain stops being a Dick. I’ll also be posting it on AO3 too ‘round that time. I have 40+ chapters written for it, but I need to re-edit them and be in a good headspace to do that. Sorry for leaving y’all hanging on that. 

As for Another One Bites The Dust (AOBTD), I’m thinking that the last chapter I have written for it (posted on AO3 but not on here yet) will be the last chapter of that particular story. I haven’t written for it in almost a year and a half, shit...maybe two years? I’m not sure. But, I do know that what I’ve gotten for it would be a satisfying, fluffy ending. If you’ve read the chapter on AO3, i’d love to hear your feedback. If not, no worries. I’ll be posting it on here soon ‘nough. :) 

Most importantly, I just wanted to take a moment to thank y’all for reading, liking, reblogging, and even commenting on the last few one-shots I’ve put out lately. It really means a lot and each time I get a notification, it helps make my days that much better. So, thank y’all! As always, if y’all would like to be tagged in any of my stories, whether it’s a chapter series or one-shots, please don’t hesitate to let me know. Send me an ask, anon or not, shoot me a private message, comment on one of my stories to let me know, it’s entirely up to y’all. Just let me know, and I’ll happily add ya. Oh and another thing, if you have an idea for a story that’d you’d like to see me write, send it my way and I’ll see what I can do. It can be for any of the characters I said I write for in a post a few days ago. I can’t promise that I’ll get to it immediately, but I’ll do my best to get to it at some point. We all know how life and writer’s block can be, right? Anyway, I suppose that’s ‘nough early mornin’ ramblings for now, but once again, thank y’all. Y’all are awesome! Stay awesome and stay safe out there! :) 

[eulerami]

I hope this isn't too out of line of me, but I would really like to tell you that I adore your writing. I've only read Bite the Bullet but I love the way you show people interacting with each other and the environment around them. I really, really adore it so far, and it makes me sad to see you say your writing sucks when it's so good! I understand how it feels, but I wanted to let you know that I think you have some really amazing writing to share and I hope you can see that too! 🌻

Awww man, I appreciate you taking the time to say this.

This is kind of a rant with no direction, but I’ve been debating saying something for a few weeks now anyway. I just feel like I should put this out there someplace.

It’s just been harder than expected for me. I went from a fandom where there were so many toxic people over the course of like, four or five years, just waiting in the woodwork at every turn for me to have even a smidgen of doubt. I had to defend my ass at every freaking turn, for who-the-fuck knows what, (misplaced passion?) pfft.

Folk really get off on you showing any kind of insecurity, seriously. It got to the point where they so greatly outnumbered the genuinely nice fans that I’ve just got this gut reaction for nothing less than perfection, with a hard-ass mentality to go with it, all the time. To the point where I still feel guilty doing doodles or more carefree things. (Like it’s corrupting the source material, somehow. Integrity, and all that.) I have to grit my teeth and post it anyway. I still find myself taking shit down.

In that pursuit I’ve sunk all my energy into improving my art and making comics. So, when I came back to writing, I’m finding it extremely hard to get the creativity flowing because it’s so nerve wracking. I’m inspired, frustratingly so, but it won’t come out. My hands just, nope, they freeze and I end up procrastinating.

I’m used to every detail, word, etc, being so intensely scrutinized, analyzed, or ridiculed with underhanded commentary or shitty attempts at “humor,” from “friends,” that it’s just. Ugh. Literally every fucking post, at one point. Anons. Messages. Whatever. I turned anon off, but then I got in my head, no…maybe it’s constructive, this is what being a professional is.

I grew up with people constantly putting me down and I fought through that to get where I am, so this is just more of the same thing, right? It’s not progress if there’s no opposition, right? People are always going to act like they give a damn but in reality they just can’t wait to watch you fuck up, right? It’s okay so long as you’re aware they’re like that at all times, right? Fuckin Autism-brain.

Boy was that fucking stupid, don’t do that to yourself. 

You improve too, years worth. Learn to paint. Learn to render. Learn typefacing, paneling, cinematography. Sink 12 hours at a time at the computer, learning everything you can with a burning passion. I have 400GB of space dedicated to PSD files. You emerge at the other end, overjoyed, ecstatic really, that you can make this with your own hands. You’re finally impressed with how it turned out–it looks amazing.

…Only for people to say, “I liked your older stuff better uwu. Dunno why, it was just fun.” Thanks! Fuck you!

When I was learning Zbrush, for example, the shitty comments were just, unreal. Like I’m learning, motherfuckers, let’s see you do fucking better. I was trying to learn how to sculpt the delicate ethnic nuances of different people, mostly indigenous people because I am really passionate about other cultures and making characters embody these features and histories.

It’s very important to me. Monolids here, broad cheekbones there–how often do you see 3D models on Artstation that aren’t 20-something white people? “Beautiful,” too, decked out to the nines with western-ideal supermodel builds and faces. I was trying to do something else. To make believable people.

Trying to find a new way to make Afro-Asiatic curly hair with Maya or Zbrush, without $10,000 in tools, etc. 

I get shitty, borderline fucking racist comments left and right, disguised as humor, that are so blatant I’m wondering if I’m the one making my shit look like caricatures to make people say this shit to begin with, and if I’m being more insulting than appreciative. It was stressful.

But you can’t flip the fuck out on these people, unless you want to be brought up to the fucking gallows and put on blast. When you’ve got a passion project you’ve spent 4 years on hanging in the balance, on your public image, and you’ve been “cancelled” already in the past, it’s a lot of pressure. It wasn’t worth it.

I’m a little bummed out my writing isn’t what it used to be. I used to be one hell of a writer in college, crank out pages at a time, but that’s what I get for focusing on comics so long. RP instilled bad habits too.

Recently with this fic, even though it was just meant to be fun, I’ve already had some folks saying ehhhhh stuff. It’s got me down, not gonna lie. I think I’m done trying to keep a tough face about it. It’s made it hard to write my third chapter. I’m stumbling through a couple hundred words at a time, if that.

The comments just keep coming back to me, in my head, every time I go to write.

I’m glad to hear you liked it though. It’s not my best, but I am enjoying the story. The feeling behind it, anyway, no matter how clunky, OOC, grammatically incorrect, repetitive, or whatever the delivery is.

It’s just, damnit man, lol—can’t the damn thing be out for 5 minutes before the critiques roll in? I can’t catch a break. Maybe I’m overly sensitive, but I’m so fucking frustrated. But, yeah. Thanks again for taking the time to say something, it’s nice to hear and kicks me in the ass a little to keep my chin up.

It’s just tough to do when it’s been so freaking long of just nonstop BS, and even when I’ve been away from it for over a year now, it’s still left some pretty bad habits and unhealthy work-ethic regarding art and writing.

I can hammer out art like you wouldn’t believe, in a professional manner, but damn did it come at the price of my own joy and creativity. I’m trying to get that back. It is coming back, slowly, in the form of a kinda roughly written fic. I know that as I write it more, it’ll get better, until I’m back where I was. Hopefully.

[redscullyrevival]

Gundam: Iron-Blooded Orphans

I’m preserving here all my liveblogging and commentary from twitter because this is the better space for keeping track of my self discussion. Yeah, no one cares, ANYWAYS

Gundam IBO Episodes 1-3

Gundam IBO: *puts main characters in a flashback in the first episode* Me: 

Ah yes, the political girl who understands nothing of the hard man life. Good old Gundam.     

I love Biscuit.

So far I'm a big fan of this shows policy on showing angry boys teeth.

Orga's hair is genius. No hats for dramatic flare, just that pointy bang. So good.

Millennial vs Boomer vibes, haha, love it.

Oh GOD Biscuit has sisters named Cookie and Cracker I am so happy.

I giggle every time I hear "Lieutenant Crank" because I am a idiot.

Did the Gundam nerds whine about Barbatos' tiny waist? Seems like a hill some would die on.

Surprisingly fine with Atra's crush on Mikazuki. It's cute! Not played weird or funky, so far. They seem like they'd get along really well actually - similar temperaments and background and all that.

Oh shit these kids are about to do a bad ain't they? Go get 'em.

I'd keep the accountant too - I don't wanna do any fuckin' math either.

Hate Beer-gut-Hitler-stache, when does some kid kill him? Soon hopefully.

His full name iS CRANK  Z E N T  

Political girl admires strong tiny boy for being coerced into dangerous life choices and options. Good old Gundam!

Mika isn't a victim so it's fine. This is fine. He is fine. They're all fine. Everything is fine. It's fine.

These poor babies. They're not gonna be okay. 

Thoughts:

This is gonna be a big old thing ain't it? I've seen enough Gundam to know this one is going to hurt and in all the ways other Gundam titles try to tragic but fail. I can see that from way out here in the boondocks.

Mikazuki is incredibly concerning and he and Orga are gonna probably tear each other a part. That's the shit thing about existing in a constant mode of survival. They don't have time for inner reflection and they don't know how do even do that. These babies are already slipping.

Which gives the less-than-palatable title a lot of weight. "Iron-Blooded Orphans" sounds cool I guess but mostly it's sad. What a sad thing to see from an outside perspective. It's strength for them, it's pride, I get that, but I don't think as the viewer I am meant to buy in. Or shit, lol, maybe I am but I'm just a reserved asshole. I like to think I'll be hurt less later if I point out I can see the plot trembles now but we all know that's not true.

Very interested to see what Kudelia grows to do in all this. She'll remain political and maybe teach the Orphans about talking about their feelings - I dunno. She'll do something, obviously, I just have no clear idea /what/ so far. Which is fair, only episode three.

The handsome kid with the earrings (don't remember his name, too scared to search it) is definitely bisexual though. That's facts. Sorry.

Looks like this series will forgo the expectation of some pilot screaming about peace while blowing absolutely everything up. Ending of the third episode is a bit on the nose with the thematic line IBO is choosing to walk but I dug it.

Lots to look forward to! Lots will change! I adore the cast which of course makes me very fearful lol. They're hardened kids, they're stuck in survival mode, I can connect with that. What's interesting is their bonds and comfort with each other.

It's safe to assume they're gonna see some wild shit but they will have each other (until they don't) and whose a sucker for found-family feelings? THIS BITCH. 

Gundam IBO episodes 4-7    

McGillis Fareed is a creep, you heard it here first folks. 

This guy is gonna have some wild backstory. He is the unmasked Char dude so. His hair bang is out to rival Orga's. 

~ CINEMATIC PARALLELS ~

I love Akihiro is literally the guy from Beserk. He is pulling an AU role. Good for him.

The children are out here trying to change space future. I love them.

Ohhhh. She is here to teach the lost boys to READ.

Yeah, Orga and Mika's relationship keeps them alive but it can't last. They're gonna get hurt my babies are gonna ndndndnnsn

It's a judging love, a push and shove ya know? They're great protagonists, very compelling. Their relationship is bueatiful in it's own way but a honest writer knows they can't maintain that status quo if the characters are to grow. Especially into adulthood.

Hello cute pigtailed woman doing her nails in space! How can this one show keep treating me so well? Haha! 

 *famous last words, probably*

Okay there is some background mechanic guy and I haven't caught his name yet but he is blonde and styling a swoop do over one eye and his voice actor is so friggin familiar even just the like few lines he has had so far. I'm going on a search wish me luck.

Ahh! Character's name is Yamagi and the voice actor is Soma Saito who was Twelve in Terror in Resonance!  Phew. Okay, back at it go time.

This power couple in the hat and shapely tummy scar, jeez. This show thrives on contrasting character designs but this one is, heh, this is new. Seems out of place almost. 

PS>> Handsome bisexual earring boy is KILLING IT. 

A+ pop into more scenes please thanks

It may be still too early to declare but I think Eugene is in the running to join my idiot son collection. He's got those expressive reactions that I just *clenches fist* that I just love so damn much.

lady pilots lady pilots lady pilots

I know ladies sitting at space computers in bikini tops isn't for any (good) reason but I need people to know that ladies in space would be hanging out in bikini tops for their own fantastic reasons and because I know this I shall accept events.

Idiot Son CONFIRMED

Atra x Kudelia WHEN?! Don't you let me down Mari Okada - I know what you're like!!!

Yamagi the cutie is gay. I'm filled with so much pride. *wipes tear*

These reckless bastard children are gonna be the death of me. 

 I adore how anyone with any kind of heart is moved by these kids. By their shared known history, by their current situation, their guts and their clever gambits.

There is such potential for wonderful storytelling when adult characters are made to stop and consider kids - not as lesser but as whole people in their own right.

Thoughts:

So McGillis Fareed is a creepo. Why do I think this? Well he didn’t bat an eye at accepting a child bride, I consider that a big friggin' tip off. Also, he exudes way too much effort.

I’m still early in the series so I may end up making a fool of myself surrounded by people who already know everything I don’t, but I’ll go ahead and try to explain my thinky thoughts anyhow.

I was only partially joking when I said CINEMATIC PARALLELS.

Pretty sure McGillis is being positioned against Orga and I say this because of their opposing character design and traits. McGillis consistently pulling on his bang was the tip off - hear me out!

The visual language of animation works differently than live action. Naturally by the medium what characters are bottom up designed to do are often times filled with more thematic intent than an actor forming characterization in collaboration with a director/a production. Plus, McGillis and Orga’s designs are intentional echos of one another within their stark differences, which is smart. This is a big cast that has varied character designs which have opposing tying traits (MORE ON THAT LATER) so their differences are what makes them similar.

I think these two leaders are more alike than what I’ve seen so far. I think the point is that Orga’s trials and struggle are more outright visible by his own choice whereas McGillis’ are hidden by him.

Orga never touches his wack hair even though he has a massive killer bang blocking his vision half the time. He isn’t seeking to change what lot he has been given in life and he isn’t trying to hide behind a fake persona. As orga states, “I am who I am.” A child.

McGillis constantly touches his hair while visibly contemplating. This guy is all calculated effort and performance. He isn’t who he presents himself as. Quite the adult.

Moving on to Orga and Mika and this show's brilliant use of opposing character designs: Jeepers Creepers, check out them Peepers edition.

Mika has big eyes. They're great. Because his eyes are so wide all the time it isn't shock we need to worry about with him. It's when he narrows his eyes. We saw this when he tried to choke out Gaelio (which, can I just say, noice).

You know who knows this better than anyone? Orga.

More and more we see Orga turning to Mika for approval, for motivation, for inspiration in his choices and push for whatever the hell it is Tekkadan is going to become. Orga has the smallest eyes of the cast, they're beady and cunning, even more so than McGillis (yikes). I think it's safe to say that Orga observes more than Mika, that Mika just watches things impassively as Orga ascertains what he assumes are Mika's wants.

And it's that type of thing where... The system works. Mika's wide, waiting, eyes keeps Orga on his toes. Keeps him thinking ahead, keeps him and everyone else relatively safe. But! But. There is a undercurrent of disproportion happening. I don't doubt these two love each other. I doubt that they understand their own dynamic. Any shift or change in this system and shit goes south very quickly. So naturally, I worry.

In lighter news OH MY GOD YAMAGI HUH?! Shy mechanic boy loves earring boy as much as I do - we are forever bonded in this way. He is my friend and I want only happiness for him. Ganbatte Yamgai, fuckin' get it boy.

Gundam IBO episodes 8-11

Yes, recap my idiot son Eugene's skills! If Akihiro is the guy from Berserk then Eugene is AU Makoto Tachibana from Iwatobi Swim Club, btw 

The nonchalant babes at the controls are my BFFs.

I love the bit the in opening that's right away during "with all your voice" where Mika and Orga turn pause turn pause turn - what a simple but effective emotional pull, right? gurgle

Oh, it's his harem. Yes. Naturally. Of course. I don't hate this. Am I broken?

ohmygod I think it's because Naze Turbine looks like Ryoji Kaji. I will never be free.

HahahHAHAHAAHAAHAHA! Babies in space! Planting those seeds! HAHAH PLANTING SEEDS okay calming down. What am I to make of the editing in this scene? We've got Atra grasping her Mika charm then we're cutting away to Kudelia I'm freaking out right now.

B-b-b-budget episode! My favorite kind! Play with those jump cuts, yeaaaah!

Naze has a sweet spot for kids and wacky found families. Loves it.

This guy is defiantly space Marlon Brando in The Godfather right? That's intentional right?

This is a really awkward dinner time conversation. :D

Party time! Have fun kids, be safe, you make me very nervous.

Drunk Orga!

*SOBS*

Yamagi is jealous oh no oh my sweet little man oh it's okay!

I need everyone to know I'm deeply emotional about this family of lost boys and their big day and everyone is dressing up and JESUSSS

For a dude with a hat fetish and a harem Naze Turbine is a pretty good father figure so far, huh? He best hope it stays that way. *Whispers* It really is Kaji all over again...

I haven't praised the Old Man yet but Nadi is best and I would kill for him.

Hey, psst, hey in the opening Gaelio bending up into frame while McGillis slyly looks on is some really high quality queerbaiting. Top notch stuff.

These two fuckers hate each other but they like don't care? I don't know. I hate them. I love them. They're stupid make them stop.

The accountant is now like some magical loving math grandpa to all these rowdy boys my heart is so full!

Norba Shino, my love, your insecurities are great and many. Boobs this, boobs that! ... He isn't wrong actually. 

Go team bisexual d i s a s t e r

I'm getting Takaki's back story, he is off to train in the simulator I DO NOT LIKE THIS 

Flustered Orga is just, well it's very good. It's great. It's so sweet I'll put in my tea so I can drink it and get warm fuzzies forever. 

Atra and Kudelia are so good together, they're another pair of characters with contrasting yet corresponding character designs that are just so fantastic!

DING DING DING figured out the editing of the baby scene and yes oh boy seeds were planted! Ecstatic. Don't be a coward show! 

Haha, yeah right.

...Maybe though. Maybe. I think the biggest problem would be Mika because he's, well he is him isn't he? 

Now Takaki is tagging along on patrol and I’m getting Akihiro’s backstory. Great. That’s not ominous.        

BEEP BEEP BEEP an Ahab Reactor duh doy oh jeez oh come on kids 

Thanks for the save Mika! HAHA I was worried. They got me. 

Yes, the set up for Akihiro's brother is lazy but whatever I'm invested. 

 "Come on, come on, come on!" lol this fork tongued pirate kinda looks like a human Momotaros. I'm digging this creep. 

TAKAKI NO!     

Azee is my wife. We're very happy. 

Friggin' Ein standing around muttering and holding Crank's pin like lolol do your job or something.

"All I want to do is kill those boys" like come on Ein no you don’t, just go do some fucking paper work. I'm sure you've been ignoring plenty. 

No. Nope. NOPE. Absolutely not.  

This show knows this isn't okay. It's showing us it isn't okay. Flowers in the Attic is over here touching hot tea pots, like??? McGillis is a creep and he has some junked up plan or scheme or whatever. Blerg. 

Pfft, McGillis is touching that hair bang all "A powerful piece that could shake up the regime" HUH HERR I wonder who?   

These kids are too good and too well adjusted - it's great. I mean, it's sometimes a bit much like in this instance with Akihiro and his bro, but that's also what makes it nice. What makes the show compelling. You trust these characters to trust each other at this point.   

Thoughts: 

The dominoes are setting up and we're getting to that point where almost all the pieces of mystery in the show's opening are all out on the table. Very exciting.

Can't wait to learn what the hell McGillis is up to. He is the exact kind of character I actually really like, because I'm the worst. The child bride is, you know, shitty but I don't think the show is (so far) trying to display it as anything but A Situation™

Frankly, the entire thing with Almiria is (so far!) a play on how these characters are still kind of kids in their own way. Obviously Almira, but McGillis and Gaelio are still at the whims of their own parents and forever will be at the beck and call of their "families".

Tekkadan are more overtly children but they're wiggling out from under another's thumb and carving a space to move around and have some self definition. McGillis is, I can guess, is going to try and do the same for himself (especially after his little chess speech).

McGillis' extreme acceptance of Almiria is partially gross and partially understandable. It's both. Because it is both! Being shitty to Almiria won't gain him any points and he is going to use her, his parents already predetermined that. Eeehhh. Wait and see I guess.

I adore the dynamics of this big cast of characters, the boys feel so real and I live to see them acknowledge one another's strengths and hopes and fears. ;_;

Like most Gundam properties (other than GWing, yeah I said it!) the female cast is a bit washy, a bit too reactionary towards an thus defined by the male ensamble but I don't dislike anyone.

There is a divide between the female characters and the male characters, they share the same physical space but their narratives are not aligned and that's okay but it is a little frustrating. I'm a patient soul and I love (and know) the Gundam franchise so I'm good but maaaan. I really want the ladies to get through on this one. I really want them to want things for themselves beyond being pulled by their boy peers. They don't need to fight. They don't need to yell. Who they are now is good, there is a good foundation. They just need a gear shift, especially in the realization that they're not just along for the ride. And I am mostly thinking of Atra at this point. I love her because she is easy to love but I also know that's through careful positioning and not due to anything inherent in her.  

We will end this bout how I think many of these will end; YELLING ABOUT YAMAGI.

Yamagi is a sweet boy who deserves the world! Norba Shino is a human disaster who (headcanon) is going through a lot of confusing emotional and hormonal stuff right now so please be strong Yamagi.

Gundam IBO episodes 12-14

I love Ms. Merribit. Anyone will tell you I'm a sucker for responsible ladies in pant suits. 

I love these Man Rodi the Brewers use. A good chuby boy in heels.

They made Mika's lunch TOGETHER.

TOGETHER.

My man Nadi knows what's up.

That's what I'm talkin' about! Mari Okada I trust you so much girl.

At some point Orga's tough guy smirk is going to be used in a way that pains and hurts me and I will probably die.

space battle space battle space battle I am a nerd space battle!

The ladies are covering for Akihiro. They want these brothers to reunite. *crying*

Masahiro's voice actor is giving an amazing performance.

Aw damn it.

Episode 13's opening is straight forward but rough: Norba's search crew find Brewer's human debris, passes them over, but those scared kids shoot which causes the Tekkadan kids to react and return fire. It's played straight as being it is what it is - a shit cycle of getting out.

The child solider/space rat stuff is, I feel, primarily used by the show to explore various forms of abusive fallout (which is why the Tekkadan kids fairly well adjusted existence is a little weird but deeply appreciated) and this quick moment punctuates Akihiro's goodbye.

A guest compliments Almiria, "She is like a doll!" 

She is, isn't she?

Kill me.

UH OH she has realized she is nine. 

Let me guess, McGillis is going to be a white knight oh yep here he comes. Great.     

I'm hitting pause and I'm going on a wild ass fuckin' tangent:

I feel younger kids having crushes on older people all depends on how it's handled by the older character, much as in life. Kids crush on adults. They do. That's not like weird or strange. What's important is how adults are made to handle those feelings (if known) and a story can go in so many different directions for so many different reasons and that's fine. That's storytelling. I shall judge all stories individually as they cross my path with whatever elements they have within them. That's how I do it.

So McGillis being charming and nice towards Alimaria is, again, fine and a little icky simultaneously. We know he is stuck. He is not out to ruffle any family plans. He is cucumbering this shit and being as smooth as possible alternative motive I don't know yet.

Alimaria is at the utmost disadvantage here. 

Within their specific scenario the only character we've seen consider her as a person who is also stuck in a hamster wheel of shitty parents is McGillis.

Obviously McGillis is a total shit-bird who is simply being nice because that's what is advantageous for HIM but the show is still (barely, mind you) straddling that line of "This Is Just A Situation™, we'll rip the Band-Aid Later"

McGillis is going to do something absolutely terrible to this girl and I am weary as fuck.

The series is being very manipulative with McGillis' actions here with Alimaria. He is being considerate but he is also stepping over a line.

McGillis is presented as being understanding and seems to genuinely care about Alimaria's feelings which makes him come off as, well, nice and princely. Which is undoubtedly what he wants. Which is what kind of makes him a monster, ya feel me? 

Eh, okay, incoherent late night ranting done. Back to sad boys and robots. 

THESE POOR SAD BOYS. 

This funeral is hitting me in my soft bits I can't deal

And it's followed up by Yamagi x Shino content just rub salt in my wounds JESUS 

UHHHH PARDON ME?!?!?!? I hate this episode! Deaths? Kisses? UGH. Mika is an dummy. He is full of dumb.  

They're making sure to show Atra sneezing though, as if someone mentioned her name explicitly which is just more weird ass editing choices I don't know how to take. What are you trying to tell me?! 

I'm stupid and a low life so I don't actually hate all love triangles. In fact I tend to rub angst all over my body so I can smell like disappointment and unresolved sexual tension but Mika is still a total dummy end of discussion. 

(ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧ ┻━┻        

NEW OPENING BITCHES!

MASKED PILOT MASKED PILOT I AM YELLING!

New opening has got it all! Just absolutely everything! We've got a masked pilot; we've got some new looking girl straight out of CLAMP's X/1999 or some shit; we've got sad boy's angry teeth; did I make this? Is this a dream?

Fumitan ain't gonna rat Kudelia out! At least... I don't want her to anyways.

Kudelia is straight up asking this lesbian about men I can't believe her.

Hehheh heeh heh hehe "Dort" hehe 

I adore the weirdness and chafing of Merribit and Orga's working relationship.

Oh my god guys, they're at Fantasy Costco! These girls are gonna clean these stinky boys and make that there ship sparkle. It's girly manifest destiny. 

"So no matter which planet you're on, the bossy ones are scums" - That's my idiot son Eugene who is actually one of the smarter of the idiot boys. 

I love the juxtaposition of these colony adults drinking the juice on the political Mars girl and her mighty teen protector warriors out to save them when it's really them asking lesbians for advice on men and trying to survive and crying when no one is looking. 

I'm serious, Orga is borderline terrified of Ms. Merribit. She's just another pair of waiting judging eyes for him and he doesn't know how to deal with her because she actually SAYS STUFF. 

Biscuit you be careful baby, watch your back. 

Loooooove the juxtaposition of these colony adults being super psyched to get blown up and these kids are like "Christ almighty, put that down!" 

Shino helping Yamagi escape (~˘▾˘)~ 

These boys are out here doing their job, doing their best, they're on their best behavior and they've been set up. My precious children! They've done nothing wrong, ever! 

"Maybe I'll change the way I talk, huh? ... No, I will not do that." Goddammit I love McGillis and I'm sooooooooooo mad about it.  

Thoughts:

We've had Snake-Man-Pirate suggest to Mika that he enjoys killing but we haven't really been given any evidence of that. I'm sticking to my self-made theory on Mika's eyes!

He has that big wide stare most of the time, Mika doesn't actually have much personal investment in most of what he does. He doesn't love killing, but he doesn't have any real opinion on it either way. It isn't like when he choked out Gaelio or, now, kissing Kudelia.

I'm full power launching myself into deep fannish space because that's how I media but like, I'm not crazy right? Mika's eyes are IMPORTANT. They're about all we're given in understanding him, which is wild for the main Gundam pilot protagonist. The emphasis on Mikazuki's eyes within his design and being the only markers the audience is given when it comes to inner choices is a big gambit. We're 14 episodes in and don't have much of a grasp on Mika and I think that's because he has never once self defined. He is the ultimate of the poor sad robot boys. Akihiro is struggling with his humanity and the label of his existence ("human debris") with all the characters starting to find space and time to turn inward and then there is Mika.   

I don't think he knows how to live life while not only trying to survive. So, what's going to boot his self defined existence online? Piloting Barbatos? Kissing girls? Familial love?    ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

McGillis being a masked pilot this late into the game with no charade about "Who can it BEeeeEEeE?!?" is my favorite thing. Haven't even seen him in an episode yet just a preview but oh, it's my favorite thing.

We'll end this short thoughts binge on the beauty that is Yamagi and why I am somewhat upset:

IBO has a very tight turn around of set up and follow through. There is (I'm assuming) a longer, slower set up with end game (probably tragic) follow through happening in concordance with the two episode story arc rhythm the series has going so far.

Quick simplified examples can be

Akihiro mentions his brother > we meet his brother > his brother chooses to die/save him > kids learn some on how to handle grief. 

Turbine has a harem > everyone accepts this > kids learn some on how to handle a found, self defined family.

The pattern is "If the kids meet a thing, that thing becomes possible."

We ain't seen no men loving men. We've not come across a viable example in the narrative of that being a option or choice or possibility. 

There are a lot of episodes left and this isn't like a make or break situation for me, but we are inching up on the set up stage being over with and if there is no example, no proof, of men being able to love men then...? I'm hesitant to invest.

I still will invest hook line and sinker, this is Gundam and damn that’s what I do 

BUT! 

That's also just so frustrating and sad as well as being, haha, believable. If there is no example encouraging Yamagi to approach Shino and no example for Shino to see acceptance then they're just gonna run out of time or figure their shit out too late.

Which is so very extremely stressful and masterfully manipulative how dare you I'm so impressed but mad and hurt and god I hope I'm wrong and off and have not tapped into this show's core of foreshadowing or whateverthehell.

Yamagi is a sweet boy who deserves the world and Norba Shino is a human disaster and I suffer for them.

[endowrites]

1, 3, 10, 11, 12, 13, 17, 25 for your writer ask meme! (feel no obligation to answer them all, there were just so many good questions!)

[Get to Know Your Author!]

1) is there a story you’re holding off on writing for some reason?

Probably my first novel project?? I’m honestly still terrified of not being a good enough writer to tackle it just in general. I talked it over with a critique partner a few months back and we both agreed that it would work better as a novelette or short story, so that’s definitely what I’m going to end up doing should I choose to pursue it further, but yeah. I dunno.

(For context, it was a story that took the red herring from the movie “Ex Machina”, where Domhnall Gleeson’s character cuts open his arm because he thinks he might be a robot, and actually ran with it. I really liked the idea, but my first draft was far too info-dumpy and I can’t stand that ;_;)

3) what order do you write in? front of book to back? chronological? favorite scenes first? something else?

I cannot write out of order. Not at all. It’s chronological or nothing for me. Part of it, I think, stems from the structure by which I operate just in general - the way I organize myself is very linear because my brain likes to go off on fractal-level tangents and I spiral down crazy rabbit holes that make me anxious and confused. I’ve got to keep things in order, and the best (and only, for the time being) way I’ve found to do that is to just stick with writing linearly. It sucks, because it means if I hit a snag it derails me for months sometimes, but I consider that a worthy consequence, considering the alternative.

10) write in silence or with background noise? with people or alone?

I write almost exclusively to the Skyrim Atmospheres track. I put it on repeat and just zone out for a few hours. I listened to it so much last year, in fact, that it was my number one played song on Spotify for 2017 and skewed all my damn listening stats. grumble grumble

As for writing around people - if I need to crank out some words and don’t have any serious blockage problems, I will typically go to Starbucks or something for a few hours because being around a bunch of faceless people actually helps me for some reason. But if I’m blocked, the only thing that works is locking myself in my apartment, taking my router, chucking it out the window, and forcing myself to suffer through it alone. 

11) what aspect of your writing do you think has most improved since you started writing?

Precision! I used to waffle on for thousands of words, saying in twenty pages what could have been said in two. Figuring out what needed to be said and what didn’t, as well as to what varying degrees each proverbial dial needed to be tweaked to, was a long, arduous, uphill battle that I’m still struggling with even now.

12) your weaknesses as an author

Plot. I can’t plot to save my damn life. I’m honestly a pantser - I tried outlining, but it didn’t work so well. Pantsing is fun in the moment, but the instant the first draft is done and I try to make something coherent out of it, it all just... crumbles. That, and I just don’t have many profound story ideas that are worthy of being written about, tbh. It’s why writing short stories and original fiction has been so difficult for me. 

Something that’s taken me a really long time to come to terms with is the fact that I just need to write, and not worry about originality or even coherence at first. I just need to write.

13) your strengths as an author

I’m honestly a terrible judge, but based on what I’ve gleaned from critique partners and beta readers over the years, my dialogue and sentence structure are pretty decent. Dialogue scenes are always the ones that I find easiest to write, and the fastest to write, so I guess that’s a good thing! It’s kinda meant that over the past few months, almost all of my writing projects have focused on conversation moreso than action, and also why my main Voltron fic right now is stuck because I was a ninny and wrote myself into a fight scene corner ._.

17) if you could give your fledgling author self any advice, what would it be?

Answered here!!

25) copy/paste a few sentences or a short paragraph that you’re particularly proud of

Oh man - there are a couple. I’ll limit myself to one from each of my main three WIPs right now.

Geartooth:

The castle is an open tomb, and Shiro is too friendly withthe dead to pull himself out.

Blonding (Final Draft):

The paperwork on Minato’s desk demanded diligence. The lists ofninja lining the book in his top drawer demanded understanding. The names inthe bingo book beneath it demanded blood. Those were emotions he was familiarwith, and they didn’t scare him in their familiarity.

But when he spun in his chair and looked out the otherdirection, the price of life lost its label. A village wasn’t another line in aspreadsheet. Children weren’t numbers.

He imagined Kushina, a bundle of blankets and warmth in herhands, cooing into the face of a baby that bore his face. There was no pricefor love. And yet here he was, the father to ten thousand children, and theyall seemed to look up at him like he knew the answers to every question.

Only a shadow could lead the shadowed.

‘You’ll do fine,’the portrait said again. Minato, for the life of him, hoped it was right.

Project Hubcap (my novel):

Gabriel narrowed her eyes. "You wouldn't dare."

"Oh, like you said you wouldn't dare touch myshit?" Marigold said, bending her knees and waving her hands back andforth like an off-duty circus performer. "'I wasn't touching anything,'"she mimicked, and Gabriel hissed. "'I was just looking around is all!Ignore the big blocky bulge in my back pocket; I'm just happy to seeyou!'"

"Alright, shut up!" Gabriel said. "You'vemade your point. Christ, you're even more of a bitch when you're drunk than youare normally."

"That's how it tends to work, sweetheart,"Marigold said, hiccoughing.

[fool-errant]

Ask a Writer

I got tagged by @rabbitkinder

1. How did you come up with your username and what does it mean?

Well my studio handle is Foolish Mortal - but someone’s been sitting on that username since dirt. So I went with fool-errant - like knight errant but stupider. The fool part is obvious - and errant means alternatively “straying from proper course or standards” and “traveling in search of adventure” - which I felt summed up thing pretty decent. My handle on FFnet and AO3 is NoCapes - cause I wanted to make sure thatif you looked up my website for art - you didn’t accidentally stumble on TF2 slash. That name comes from the fact I have a little Edna Mode figure sitting on my computer monitor that caught my eye at the time I was looking for a name. 

2. Which fanfic of yours has the most feedback? (bookmarks/favorites, follows/subscriptions, visitor hits, kudos)

Erm - well I only have ze one main fic online these day. My long suffering TF2 fic Smoke Gets in Your Eyes. Though even compared to the long lost junk I wrote in high school - its still got the most feedback.

3. What is your FFnNet/AO3 profile icon, and why did you choose it?

I’m not sure I ever got an icon on those accounts. I just never got aroundto it. 

4. Do you have any regular/favourite commenters?

I honestly love all commenters. I have a few regulars who became buds of mine that I love. Also anyone that ends up making something in reaction to my writing is special to me. 

5. Is there a fanfic that you keep going back to read again and again?

Not really. I’m a horrible person. I also have a mind that retains little details, so I am the sort that reads something once and can remember it clearly later. 

I DO have a few genre/ tropes I like to revisit reading wise. One is Lavellen/Cullen from Dragon Age. Another one I binge hit recently is anything about Finn from Star Wars needing and receiving hugs and people (mainly Poe) supporting him. And Princess Leia shows up to remind people to take care of themselves and Storm Pilot snuggles ever after.  

6. How many stories are you subscribed to? How many do you have bookmarked?

Uh...I’m honestly not sure. I squirrel away bookmarks and forget about them later. I have a couple in progress stories I subscribe to. 

7. Which AU do you find yourself writing the most?

I really don’t do AUs - unless you count the gag bit I wrote where Spy and FemSpy are the parents of Carmen Sandiego.  I tend to feel people are the products of their settings and removing them from that takes a lot of their traits away. Though that’s my opinion and I’m never going to tell anyone they can’t or shouldn’t go write and enjoy their own thing. 

8. How many people are subscribed and bookmarked to you in total? (you can view this on the stats page)

Welp on AO3: Bookmarks:74  Subscriptions:77

Here on Tumbles: 268

on FFnet - I can not make heads or tales of that one. Though I seem to have a couple of folks in South Africa reading - which is cool. 

9. Is there something you’d like to write about but are afraid of people judging you for it? (Feeling brave? If so, share it!)

.....*Maniacal laughter*  I deal with chronic depression and anxiety. So I have a very large list of things I WANT to do but don’t. A lot of it is due to the fear of judging - and a lot of “no one wants this - what is the point?”  

I had an original concept involving airship pirates - colonialism - and the main lead was a trans pan sexual in a setting that didn’t have words or play book for hat sort of thing. The story wasn’t ABOUT the fact the lead was the way they were, it was just aside thing. But I scrapped it cause I figured no one wanted it - it was stranger and I didn’t want people coming out of the woodwork telling me I didn’t have a right to do that or that I wrote the lead wrong.  

10. Is there anything you would like to be better at? Writing certain scenes or genres, replying to comments, updating better, etc.

I have long ago accepted my inability to porn well.  I’d love to be better with my updates. But as mentioned earlier I deal with depression - so my brain meats aren’t the most efficient at cranking out things in a timely manner.  Also replyingto comments/ social media shit. I am awful at. 

11. Do you write rarepairs or popular ships more often?

I guess Rarepairs...I suppose. 

12. How many stories have you posted on FFNet/AO3 to this day (finished and unfinished)?

Three/four - one large chapter monster and lots of little drabbles that sort of grew around it. 

13. How many stories do you have saved in/with your writing program?

*cough* Lots

14. Do you write down story ideas, or just keep them in your head?

...Depends on how long the story idea bugs me, how complicated the idea is and if I intend to do anything with it.  

15. Have you ever co-authored a story?

Not exactly. A bud of mine and me in high school triedto do that but gave up. Now a days I just co author smutty bits with someone else cause I am no good at those on my own.

16. How did you discover FFNet/AO3?

I knew about FF.net before the great PornPurge. I am not even sure HOW I found them. Probably just wandering the net as a young impressionable nerd. I also used to deal with webrings if you want to guess how old I am. 

AO3 I...think I heard about on tumblr, or I had a friend or two metion them tome when I started writing fic again seriously. 

17. Do you consider yourself to be a popular or famous author in your fandom(s) on FFNet/AO3?

No. I always end up baffled to find out people have read or remember anything I’d worked on. 

18. Do you have a nickname or fandom name for your readers?

Not really? What?

19. Was there an author who inspired or encouraged you to write?

Not to my knowledge - I think there was a quote about art that I picked up via Ted Naifeh about how you have to get through 1000 bad drawings to get to the good ones. That tends to stick in my mind about  writing or anything I’m trying my hand at. 

20. What writing advice would you give to a beginning author?

I don’t have much for writing - but creating things in general. When I started doing art in high school the forums I hung out on always had the reminder, “There will always be someone better than you. But you will always be better than someone else.” Write as things come to mind. You don’t have to write in sequential order - you can edit that later. Don’t worry if things come out rough and ugly in your first drafts, things can get polished later. Write what you want, not what you think others will want. Also to paraphrase Dr Suess - if you draw a monster with three heads, be sure to give it three toothbrushes. Keep details in mind when building a world/ scenario.

21. Do you plot out your stories, or do you just figure it out as you go?

I have a rough skeleton or shape I start with - when I start writing it all out things start getting filled in - or changed from the original plan cause something better came up. 

22. Have you ever gotten a bad comment on a story? If so, what did you do?

Occasionally I would get folks complaining about “the slow bits” where it’s just banter - or folks getting snotty about the lack of sex scenes, but generally nothing “bad” just antsy. 

23. Is there a certain type of scene that you have a hard time writing? (action, smut, etc..)

SMUT - I’m a poor little ace robot. My brain doesn’t quite know what to do with smut scenes. Where do hands go? What do they do? People do what? Don’t they know what comes out of those places? EVERYONE NEEDS TO WASH THEIR HANDS.  I don’t cut the scenes since I know it’s a thing people do- and it feels disingenuous to have violence in a story and then get all fiddly when sex shows up. So I have cucu help me out - and have lots of feedback from other folks as we muddle along. 

24. What story(s) are you working on now?

Still working on Smoke as I can and trying to flesh out an original concept, which is sort of a post apocalyptic noir,

25. Do you plan your next project(s) before you finish your current ongoing story(s)?

YEP 

26. Do you have a daily writing goal set for yourself?

Not DAILY - but I do try to make myself add 500 words to what I’m working on when I do sit down to write. 

27. Do you think you’ve improved as a writer since you first started?

Thankfully 

28. What is your favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

I dunno - I mean I don’t have much going on right now that’s eaten my time and attention as much as Smoke Gets in Your Eyes has. 

29. What is your least favorite story(s) that you’ve written?

Nothing that I’ve left out in public. I cleared out my old writing archives ages ago and I tend not to let myself look back. 

30. Where do you see yourself (as a writer) in 5 years?

I don’t actually know. I rarely consider myself a writer. I am an artist - I went to school for art and drawing. I just sort of accidentally picked writing back up. 

31. What is the easiest thing about writing?

Planning - Conceptualizing. The early stages when everything is still nebulous and nothing is forced into words. 

32. What is the hardest thing about writing?

Putting things into words. Also the whole “creating things to toss into the void” sensation.

33. Why do you write?

Because my brain sort of will keep daisy chaining ideas and building stories with or without my permission. So focusing on them - writing them and getting them out on paper for others to look at seems the only real solution.  Also cause my friends got sick of my being like “so hypothetically - if blah and blah happened - you think such and such would shake out of that?” 

I taaaag @fat-mabari @vkiera @prinxvariety

Cheers!

[catcatb0y]

Hahaha whoops. Yeah, I always talk about writing and my ao3, but I don't actually share it anywhere ^^; I've always been kinda reluctant to give it out to people. I have a sideblog where I posted a multichap fic I had been working on years ago.

I dunno. I've never really had any good experiences sharing my ao3, so I kinda just... stopped. Outside of like, specific recs and stuff.

BUT SAME AUGH

I feel so mid, myself, but every single fic I read I just think 'I could do this better (if I could just bring myself to write)' and I always feel so bad about it, but like...

Seriously, I can't tell you how many fics I've shared with my partner where I was just like 'I feel like I could do it better,' 'the execution was a bit odd,' 'it's a cute idea, but kind of underwhelming' like br uh

Why tf are my standards so fucking high??

I KNOW what it feels like to be a writer. I KNOW how incredibly tough it is to crank shit out. I KNOW that the only reason I'm even like... mid is because I have been writing for years.

Characterization is my fucking kryptonite I fucking swear. It doesn't help that my main fixation is mostly new fandom and a lot of people spend more time in fanon than canon.

So, like, ninety percent of the time, it's always just a little... off.

And I'm not better, bruh. I know that I am not even better?? Like everywhere I go, I see these stupid dumbasses- except for in fics that are literally about them.

What the fuck.

Also haha no, we get "two" days off a week, but working third shift that's just an evening we don't have to come in and then one full day.

If that, because, if there are any issues with the line, we have to come in Friday evening (into Saturday morning). Supposedly, it doesn't happen often, though, but the line fucked up last week and we had to come in (even though I have only been here a month lol). Guess I have bad luck.

To be fair, from the guy's perspective, I guess it came across as me asking to go home (instead of 'do you need anything before I go home?'), and he doesn't have the authority to send me home.

But at the same time... Bro... Even when the line was literally down and everyone was doing busywork, he STILL tried to get me to work longer. I had to tell him that my schedule got me off at seven thirty for him to let me go.

Uhh, you reblogged that "but Im tired" post like seven times back to back, you ok there bud??

Haha uhh... ^^; not really lmao.

I'll spare you the details, but I have been in an almost complete creative block since, like, February/March (which, like, lmao, depression always makes it hard to write, so I've sort of been dealing with writer's block since the start of 2019). My life picked up recently, which I thought would be good for my writing, but I'm just so fucking exhausted.

Before/during June, I was in a huge depressive slump, so I couldn't write anything through my sheer apathy. Now, I'm getting out of the house and working, but it's incredibly tough and horribly draining.

That's been my mood before all of this, but especially with working nowadays, I am just so fucking Tired.

[thebestplltheories]

PLL 7x15 In The Eye Abides The Heart - Thoughts (long, as per usual, sorry!)

- Not one answer, like I expected. But you know what’s weird... I still really liked the episode. That goes to show that PLL can still be entertaining 7 years later... if they pace the episode fast. Every scene was relevant. No wonder they did the 2 week break last week, after 714. If we had to wait 2 weeks now for the next episode... we’d go crazy. The plethora of answers from 714 lasted us, but this would never last us 2 weeks. Good planning Freeform. Not calling the episode bad! Because again, it was very entertaining. That was 42 minutes of fun! Genuinely, I appreciated every scene to be honest.

- I don’t understand the title. I was expecting Mona to sing the song again, or something like that!?

- Troain did an amazing job directing! Actually, even if I didn’t know that Troian directed this, I still would've left the episode thinking that it was a new director. It did feel very fresh; different to the usual. Troain clearly experimented with meaningful camera shots and my gosh did she play to the girls’ strengths. This was some of the best acting we’ve seen in a while. Shay, who I personally think is the weakest of the group, gave some of her best performances to date. 

- I haven’t seen anyone’s thoughts yet but I’m expecting that almost everyone is saying that that was Paige talking to Aria on FaceTime. We could clearly hear Lindsey’s voice coming through. The demeanour, expressions, intonation, voice... everything was Lindsey. Paige is probably in on AD’s game, which will make sense because we saw Paige’s exact hair (length and colour) coming off the person who gave Jenna the book at the end of 711. I’ll be quite mad if the producers got lazy by using Lindsey to film the FaceTime scenes, but it actually isn't Paige. If Lindsey acted in the FaceTime scenes, which I’m 95% sure she did, it should be her character, Paige, on the other end too. Lindsey shouldn’t be playing AD if she isn't AD/a helper.

- Paige and Ali’s scene brought a tear to my eye. All I could think about, the whole way through, was “Pig Skin”, “I own you now” and Ali threatening to expose Paige’s sexuality before Paige was ready to talk. Yet, Paige had completely forgiven Ali, which I thought was beautiful. It was an emotional nod to season 3A and I absolutely adored this character development on behalf of both of them.

- Marlene said that Ali verbalises her sexuality in 715. She started to, which was great, but I wanted a bit more. Just another line or two. 

- I’m loving how they’re handling the situation with Emison. I did find it odd however that Emily kept saying the decision was Ali’s. I don't know why Emily felt she had a smaller say. I’m glad she eventually realised her say is important too.

- Again, like I said above, I haven’t seen anyone’s comments yet, but I’m assuming most of us are theorising that Spencer’s twin was talking to Wren? Why would Spencer be arguing with Wren? She had a good cover up though - that Wren authorised Charlotte passes to visit Mona! But, the fact she told Ezra to keep it a secret that he saw her... it came across as exactly that; a cover up. The AD reveal may not be AD voluntarily revealing themselves like Charlotte did. Ezra may piece it together! “When I saw you with Wren at the airport” ... “I was never at the airport with Wren?” says Spencer. Bam, AD is revealed!

- We actually don't see Wren again until the finale, where we see him in a very surprising interaction with someone as part of the ultimate final twist (writer confirmed that). We’ll see him again with Spencer’s twin??

- That was a bit too short though. Wren should've had a few more lines, and one more scene. But I guess it was supposed to be short because he was talking (supposedly) with Spencer’s twin... if that scene went on any longer and we heard any of the conversation, we’d know too much too soon.

- Marco made a good point, that someone was trying to make it look like Archer is alive (by using his credit cards) yet now they’re making it look like he’s dead. He made a good point that maybe there’s more than one person pulling the strings here. 

- Spencer using Archer’s credit card... ahhhh we were right. 

- Marco will end his relationship with Spencer because he’ll feel like Spencer only got close to him so that she can destroy any evidence and also eavesdrop on the case. Which, isn't true. But it definitely looks that way. Spencer = sad, Toby = sad, Spoby comes back.

- I loved the absence of Toby and Caleb. Not a hater of them, but it was a breath of fresh air from the romance.

- “Can I go?” ... “I can’t stop you”. I dunno why, but I loved that. Marco is obeying the law and remaining professional whilst also showing his love for Spencer by letting her go prepare a defence so to speak.

- I didn’t like the ending! They were building up to a big dramatic Riverdale cliffhanger! (Literally, a Cliff Hanger... if you know what I mean.) I thought the note was hinting that Mary committed suicide, and the camera would pan over to a dramatic reveal. The directing was amazing... the feels!!! But, I was expecting one more scene before it faded out.

- Ezria scenes were great! I liked the argument about going vs staying. I could see Troain’s directing in that. She told them to crank up the heat. I saw sparks in Ezra and Aria’s eyes that we haven't seen in both of them in a while. There was genuine frustration at the situation from both of them.

- Aria betraying the girls was so cool. But, I wish they took it a step further like Aria actually doing something to physically hurt the girls rather than just give AD info. Writers, you have permission to break my heart. Test the friendship as much as possible. But, it’s not over. Maybe they’ll go there next week.

- Mona, Mona, Mona. Please, don't disappear on us like that again. 5 left... please be in all 5! And omg, her admiration of the game had me smiling. That was the best reaction. Whoever wrote the ep, good choice. Her loving the evilness in the game (”it’s brilliant, I wish I did it” etc) makes me question her current loyalties however...

- I wanted Spencer to find Mary. I didn’t like the constant teasing through the bottles (cool concept!) only to end up that she won’t find her this episode. 

- The Lucas and Charles story was cool. And it seems the girls are all suspecting what we fans are... that Lucas’ apartment is bugged with cameras and microphones everywhere. Cant wait to see where this story goes, particularly with the dollhouse reference in the comic.

- NEXT WEEK’S PROMO!! Episode looks amazing! Of course, promos always look better than the actual episode but... “that’s why you were tortured” says Lucas (or something like that). Watch that be extremely anticlimactic, we won’t find out AD’s motive or anything!

- Overall, 8/10! I did enjoy it. A few tiny tiny things I disagreed with, and an overall lack of answers. But, the fast pace of it did make it feel like a love-letter to the fans. It just doesn’t compare to the shit-storm that was season 6! This is good.

[phoenixwaller]

How to kill a writer’s mojo...

Press ‘J’ to skip the whiny rant. 

I’ve wavered on whether I wanted to say anything or not, and might delete this later once I’ve had some sleep. But... I kinda need to get it off my chest. 

Sometimes the nitpicky comments just get to me, especially when they’re aimed at the level of research. 

People might have noticed it’s been nearly 2 weeks since I updated Dreams, and my output on Shared Gravity is down too (though the 2 massive chapters kinda makes up for that). 

It’s tied together, cause while I’m getting nothing but good comments on Shared Gravity, people are nitpicking tiny details in Dreams and and other comments saying to research some other tiny detail that DOESN’T EVEN MATTER and...

Man, sometimes you look at a comment like that, especially after having your computer run like shit you have so many tabs open buried in research, and it just takes the wind from your sails. 

Like I KNOW I’m probably getting details wrong, but I haven’t been in ice skates in 30 years, ever since I realized that my balance is shit. Haven’t been on roller skates in that long for the same reason. 

But fuck I’m trying! I’ve got the wiki page for quad jumps bookmarked so I can see who was trying what when. I was trying to build these last couple fucking chapters to address the quad jump controversy of 2010. Because man does that EVER flow perfectly into the “You don’t need the quad to win” line from episode 4. 

I had Yuri invited to compete in the Japanese senior nationals though he was still a junior, because it seems to be a thing that the top 3 juniors are invited up in Japan. 

There’s another detail coming up I won’t add here because of a spoiler, but it was the most random little tidbit from RL figure skating history and I just have to include it because it’s so interesting. 

Meanwhile, in 2 weeks I’ve written 900 words in what should be a 4-5K word chapter. I should be able to crank out the writing portion in 2 days, tops, and that’s me writing leisurely. But every time I open it I get a sense of ‘why bother?’ 

And I know I should just ignore it and move on. In the end the number of nitpicky comments could fit on one hand, and there is so much love. But it’s hard. I try to pass it off, and I try to play nice because it’s not worth it getting riled up. 

Like I’m writing this for fun. It’s not a book I intend to sell.

Lately, it hasn’t been fun. 

I dunno, I’m gonna end the rant here and go sleep. Maybe I’ll actually be able to write when I wake up. 

I’m not abandoning, no way. But... I gotta pick up the pieces of my mojo before I’ll be able to crank like I had been. 

[runicmagitek]

For the fanfic meme! 16, 23, 24, 28, 31, 39, 40, 41, 45, 46

Thank you so so much. This really helped me take my mind off of things

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike? Ah man, a lot. I love my ships, but in comparison to a lot of people, I'm not that hardcore of a shipper. So in turn, I tend to dislike a lot of things that aren't popular and it's a rare thing for me to like something that is popular lol. First thing that comes to mind is Celes/Locke from FFVI. That ship didn't make sense to me when I first played it at 11/12 and it makes even less sense to me as an adult. I don't care for any ships with Cloud in VII. Same with Garnet/Zidane in IX. Geez, most of the ships in Dragon Age, too. Sigh... yeah :\ I'm just a non-canon/rarepair shipper forever.23. Name a fic you’ve written that you’re especially fond of & explain why you like it.May Death Find You Alive  I wrote it for @lunamanar  for her birthday and I dunno. I tried so damn hard to polish it super shiny, because I know she's so good at nitpicking the smallest things (which I love when she does that) and didn't want her to do that for a birthday gift. I'm just really proud of how it came out and contains a lot of elements I enjoy reading, so yeah. Lotsa feels for this one.24. What fic do you desperately need to rewrite or edit? I'm the Darkness, You're the Starlight  I went on hiatus because of cosplay shit, then I got stupid busy with work, on and off sick, then in general got stuck on a chapter I loathe and really need to rewrite from the ground up (I've already rewritten it 2-3 times). Everything else is done, but man, this one chapter... it kills me.28. If someone were to draw a piece of fanart for your story, which story would it be and what would the picture be of?:O I mean, anything and I'd be happy. I think what I'd love the most is the scene with Celes and Setzer at night on the Falcon under the northern lights from Darkness/Starlight. That's one of my favorite scenes in the whole story and I can see it so vividly in my head and I think I'd cry happily forever if someone decided to do fanart for that particular scene. 31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing? I'm really grateful that I've had numerous people say quite a few nice things to me about my writing, ranging from burning through my work to alleviate boredom to feeling less alone in topics/themes I explored to shamelessly reading smut in the presence of family and not caring.39. What is you greatest strength as a writer?I feel my characterization is my strongest. I have a lot of experience in acting and general theatre stuff, so one thing I always tried to tackle before memorizing lines was get a genuine feel for the character I was trying to portray. That's carried over into my creative writing. 40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing? Being concise. I know I can crank out words forever and easily ramble on and on about pointless shit. It's when I go into editing mode that I really take an axe to a lot of my writing to have it get to the point. But regardless, whenever I write, it's just... endless stuff. I wish I could stop that so it would be less editing.41. List and link to 5 fanfics you are currently reading.Oh man, I'm not reading a lot at the moment because I'm so damn busy, but here are the top 5 I'm the most damn excited about getting time to finally read:Everything and Nothing by @dvske  Amid the Wreckage by Revans_MaskI Will Call You Home: A Recounting of the Fifth Blight by AthenaTsetaheart in a headlock by andromeda3116 EVERYTHING EVER WRITTEN BY @pocketseizure I’m so behind and just want to binge all of the fics

45. What is your all time favourite fanfic? I love so many fics for so many different reasons. It's so difficult to just pick one and call it a day. I remember when I was younger, there was this Beatrix/Garnet post-canon story that went over the development of their relationship and that was my favorite back then. God, I wish I knew the name of it :( it was one of those fics that made me start shipping them and was just comfort food for lil queer me. As an adult, the one I keep thinking of is The Modern History of Zelda by rynling/pocketseizure. Everything about that fic excited me and in turn, makes me want to be a better writer. The worldbuilding is astounding, the magic is whimsical and gorgeous, the dialogue is witty, the build up in the relationship is amazing, and it's overall just damn solid. It warmed my heart and made me feel like a kid being told a magical bedtime story. I love it so much.46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?Hmmmm... maybe And I Will Follow You into the Dark  Even if you're not familiar with Transistor, it's a lot of genuine themes people deal with, myself included. I really wrote from my heart with this one (I mean, I try to with all of them, but some of them are harder hitting than others) so if someone was to read just one, this really sums up a lot of stuff in regards to what I write.