#I dunno don't you think it's nice to see what your worst is. Like knowing that your still doing at least somewhat alright

[torchstelechos]

It must be nice to know what eldritch creature you would turn into if the world was just right and you had no help, like it must be kind of reassuring to know you'd still have your thumbs at least, in this way Siffrin is winning at life in other ways not so much

[amymbona]

So I kinda had this au idea for sex therapist!Patrick but who specialises in treating people who find it hard to cum. But he's got this warm/confident/empathetic vibe, like what he loves most about his job is helping the men and women who come to him for guidance; who trust him to touch and tease their bodies, to just look at them and know what it takes to make them finally feel good. I dunno, I can just see Patrick putting his sex god powers towards helping and healing ❤️

THE GASP I JUST GASPED

Poor you :((( You're so ashamed of yourself, thinking all of the mistakes come from your side, that your body is just broken in some way, that you're the reason why none of your sexual partners were satisfied. And it breaks your heart honestly, 'cause you're afraid you won't be able to find a long term partner just because of this simple reason. You're aware sex is important in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be only your partners who remain unsatisfied - usually under the impression that you're not turned on enough by them to actually cum - but mainly yourself, unable to cum despite your raging arousal. And the worst thing is, you still don't know whether the mistake is really in you, or if you've just only been fucked by shitty men.

It takes a lot of courage for you to make an appointment at the Zweig clinic, as you're incredibly creeped out by the idea of opening yourself like that to some stranger. He sounds friendly on the phone, offering you a bunch of dates to choose from and just tells you not to worry, come in some comfy clothes, have a good breakfast in the morning, and that he will help you.

When you actually first step in, you're surprised to find a pretty domestic looking place. There's no waiting room, only a small corridor with one chair. It seems that doctor Zweig either has very little clients, or just manages to split them into so many appointments that they never overlap. You sit on the chair, one leg nervously bouncing as you wait for the door to open, really nervous what he will be like.

Doctor Zweig doesn't let you wait for long, his curly head peeking out of the door - "Welcome, it's so nice to meet you!" - and simply from the sight of his handsome face, you feel like you could cum. He's by far the most gorgeous man you have ever set your eye on, and suddenly you're almost sure why he is so successful.

He invites you in, insisting you call him Patrick and asks your name, then offers you a place to sit. "Would you like anything? A glass of water? Tea, coffee?" You leave the comfy looking sofa for him and plop down in a vintage looking arm chair as he goes to fetch you a glass of water. Soon, he returns with a smile and leisurely sits down, shooting one more smile in your direction.

You do the basic introduction when you tell him your name and age and then obviously the reason why you came. Patrick doesn't ask for your personal details at first, instead opting to tell you something about himself too. You learn he is nearing his thirties and has a fair share of sexual experience, that his biggest hobby is tennis and some other facts he considers important for you two to warm up.

For the whole time, you're struggling to keep your eyes off of him, drinking in the sight of his face. He's genuinely so handsome, like a god damn model, like he should be on the cover of some magazine. His eyes are so rich, shining at you like two expensive diamonds, and yet incredibly warm, compliment by a casual smile on his face. The curls on top of his head bounce lightly as he nods in response to your slurred words, patiently waiting for you to fully explain yourself. He allows you all the time you need, stating you're his only customer for today and so there's no need to rush. Your comfort, he says, is his priority.

Then, the personal questions begins. How many sexual partners have you had, all the positions you ever had sex in, which one usually makes you cum and do you ever come? Have you ever squirted? Does penetration work? So many questions that have you a blushing, sweating mess, almost making you want to cry. But Patrick is so sweet and kind, saying that it's completely natural, that nobody is judging you and you can talk to him as if he's just an old friend. This time, nothing serious happens and you two only make another appointment for next week, allowing you all the time in the world. When you're leaving, he asks whether you're feeling, in any way, aroused, stating it's important to know the effect he himself has on you. He gives you a homework as well, to come up with all the things that turn you on.

The next time you come in, you're wearing a pretty floral dress, as you're more afraid of him seeing you than really touching you. This way, if you two proceed to anything like that, it could all be hidden. Again, Patrick greets you with the usual smile, making your heart warm up, and invites you in. He sits you on the sofa, positioning himself next to you, and listens as you list all the things that excited you the most.

"I'm gonna touch you a bit, okay?" Patrick proposes and you nod, knowing that's the whole purpose of this predicament, so you can't really refuse.

He goes really slowly on you, so slowly and cautiously, that is actually leaves you surprised. First, his hand finds yours and he intertwines your fingers, inspecting the rings on your fingers and then the bracelets on your wrists. He kisses you on the cheek and throws one arm around you shoulders, easing you into his chest. He's so warm and smells good, it makes your head spin.

Then, Patrick finally kisses you on the lips, just lightly smooching the cherry taste of your lip stick, tasting you. He lets you kiss him back, allowing you to set the pace and intensity, engaging in your first make out session. His palm finds a place on your knee, just where your dress ends, but he doesn't dare slide under the fabric yet. Instead, his fingers lightly rub your knee and squeeze it.

When you begin responding more hungrily, your nose bumping into his messily, he pulls away. In front of him sits a cute, blushing girl, her pupils blown wide as she's unable to believe she's been kissed like that. Seriously, nobody has ever kissed you better than Patrick just did. And it's only the first kiss you two have shared. If he's supposed to fix your body in the most intimate ways, you can't even imagine what it would feel like when he proceeds further.

"I want you to set a pace. And a boundary. Okay? Don't just kiss me because you feel like you have to," he tells you, still massaging your knee gently, while he runs the fingers of his free hand through your hair. "Think of it as a real sexual experience, because it is. As if I was your boyfriend, doing all this with you."

You nod again, suddenly feeling shy of your actions. The sudden need you have for him. "Can I kiss you again?"

He lets you. He lets you kiss him and crawl onto his lap, to run your hands over his shoulder and tangle in the curls on the back of his neck. He allows you to touch him just as you please, discovering his body in your own way. When you hands keep roaming over his chest for too long, Patrick gently directs them to the top button of his shirt. "If you want to."

You take your time, slowly undoing the buttons on Patrick's shirt one by one, allowing for your palms to feel his skin. He's ripped muscles tight even when he sits so relaxed under you - probably the result of frequent tennis playing - and not so hairy either. All in all, he's warm and nice to touch.

Patrick notices the little falter of your breath as you stare at his body, and the gentle raise of your own chest, each and every breath passing through your mouth. The lipstick is a bit smeared from the messy intensity of your kisses and so he reaches up to wipe away the bit that remains on your chin, his touch gentle.

"You're so beautiful, Y/N," he whispers with full honesty, unable to tear his eyes off of your face. It's natural for Patrick to develop a bit of a relationship with his clients, his magic wouldn't work otherwise, but with you - such a pretty girl on his lap - he genuinely means it.

"Patrick," you sigh, lips parting as his finger slides over them.

"I want to make you feel good," he states in determination, his eyes glowing as he looks at you. "Will you let me?"

You let him. With his help, you sit with your back facing him, between his spread legs. Before your back could come to rest against his chest he stops you, and slowly slips down the straps of your dress. Shivers run down your spine at the gentle touch of his fingertips, feeling the softness of your skin. You have such a beautiful body, and he has only seen so little so far.

The top of your dress pools around your hips as he pulls you into his chest and his hands settle on your waist. There you rest, settled into the warmth of Patrick's body, eyes wide as you stare ahead, wondering if he can see your breasts over your shoulder. And you'd be really nervous if he could.

"I'm gonna touch," his whisper reaches your ear, the slow movements giving you time to reject his advances. But you don't.

Patrick's palms cup your breasts delicately, earning a small sigh from your pink lips, your own gaze slipping to see how good they fit in his hands. Almost as if he was made to holds them. He feels the weight in his hands before lightly squeezing, one more sound from your lips following. There, as you rest, Patrick begins gently kneading your breasts, squeezing the muscles and letting you get adjusted to the unusual intrusion.

The moment Patrick senses the ease in your posture, your shoulders slouching just barely and your head falling on his shoulder, he decides to proceed. Both of his thumbs roll over nipples, the touch so light but thoroughly felt. It makes you shudder and moan, the high pitched sound filling the room of his office.

No man has ever paid a generous amount of attention to your breasts, finding them just pretty to stare at in your low cut tops, but never enough to fondle or fully touch them. A kiss here and a violent tug on your nipple there, but that was all.

"Do you like it?" Patrick asks, his lips ghosting the shell of your ear.

"Yes," you nod.

"Woman's nipples are as sensitive as her clitoris, at most times, but many people fail to notice that," Patrick continues talking while still teasing your nipples delicately, earning a small sigh from your pink lips. This is, honestly, better that any soft of a dirty talk. Simply being told how exactly your body works while it's being touched at the most sensitive spots. That's thousand times better. "It's crucial that they are stimulated too, as it adds to the sexual experience and makes the whole act much more enjoyable."

"I-" you attempt to speak, but all that leaves your mouth are small gasps and moans. "I haven't really... No one ever pays attention."

But Patrick is. All his focus is glued to your sensitive, pink, pretty nipples and how the feel under his fingers. By all your reactions, he's well aware that it's making you feel good, better than just good. "That's okay, sweetheart, I am. Do you know a woman can orgasm purely as a result of nipple stimulation?"

Of course you don't know that. With all the attention your breasts have ever received, you barely know how they work. "N-no."

"I want you to know. To make you feel it. Will you let me?" he's determined. He wants to make you cum, not by fucking or fingering you. But simply by playing with your beautiful breasts and whispering sweet words into your ear, have you lay and pant against his chest, too shy to actually face him. He wants you exactly the way you are, that's how your first proper orgasm should be.

"Please."

That word is like a switch turned on for Patrick, stopping him from holding back. His lips mouth your neck, trace the path down your throat while his hand keep kneading your breasts, listening to your delicate moans that follow each time he deliberately brushes his fingers over your nipples. You're a perfect little patent, but you're also much more than that. A wonderful young woman with shattered sex appeal who's begging to be put back together, to be given the lacking confidence and shown how much fun sex can really be. You're all he needs for his work and he's all you need for your life.

Perhaps a part two? :3

[totallyjustabunchofhocuspocus]

i'm amazed by the energy that antibucktommy people bring to this show like one of the most beloved characters and one of the biggest storylines in the very first season wasn't bobby and the fact that he murdered 148 people including his wife and children and is trying to rebuild his life. it's almost like this show has been saying since the beginning that people can grow and be better and maybe we should give them the space to do that.

anyway buck and tommy were really cute this episode. and there's something so teenage giddiness about them hiding behind a couch for a fake surprise party and flirting that just makes me so happy for the sheer queerness of the experience for buck

This is honestly why I stopped interacting with a lot of segments of fandom over the summer and started curating my fyp and tumblr follows a little more intensely. All of the characters have done horrible things (some more recently than others), things that are usually regarded as unforgivable. Bobby's story is the big one, but Hen's cheating storyline, Athena's many and varied abuses of power as a cop, Chim's really pretty sus relationship with Tatiana, Eddie's fight club era and his treatment of the women he gets into relationships with, Buck manipulating Taylor (like, kind of a lot)...like they've all done terrible things and we have watched them come back from it and learn and grow and change, and love them for it.

I think a lot of it stems from the fact that the horrible things they did were not done to our faves (I'd argue the fandom didn't know Karen well enough during the cheating storyline to not feel inclined to forgive Hen for it) and the fact that the racism and sexism displayed by Tommy at first are such lightning rod issues anyway (as well they should be). And, yes, let's be real, the majority of it is what I'll kindly call disappointment that we got Bi!Buck after all this time, but not Buddie. And that's fair (to an extent...there's NO excuse for the kind of harrassment we saw over the last few months).

But the vitriol displayed towards BuckTommy and the people that ship them is just really outsized in my opinion. The show is going out of their way to show us that Tommy is good to Buck (and friends with Eddie), and that they are enjoying each other. Whether or not it leads to Buddie, don't we WANT Buck to have a good relationship for his first as a queer man? Everyone talks about representation being SO important--we have an extremely masculine characater (who has canonically been presented as a playboy/heartthrob type) discovering a new facet of his sexuality when he's nearly in his mid-thirties, and exploring that facet with a love interest that is EQUALLY as masculine. This storyline is important! It's breaking a lot of new ground and doing it in a really nicely done way.

And in regards to Tommy...I dunno, maybe it's because I've grown up in an environment that pretty much BREEDS men like BeginsEra!Tommy. Yes, they have a choice not to be the way they are--but unless you live in it, it's hard to understand how hard making that choice, or even recognizing that you DO have a choice, really is. I think it's also important to show a character who didn't remain a piece of trash human, and was able to accept that they were wrong and CHANGE. If the only way you can ever be defined is by what you were at your very worst, what is even the fucking point of changing? No one owes you forgiveness, even after you do the work to change...but nor do you deserve to be punished forever.

I dunno, I just wanna enjoy my weewoo show and I'm tired of people harshing my buzz (heh, see what I did there?) I still ship Buddie. I ship BuckTommy. Most of all I ship Buck/Happiness and I am eager to see if he finally gets some that lasts.

[basilpaste]

Stress Relief

(This fic talks a lot about death and panic attacks! Stay safe!)

this takes place directly after On Command! Read that first for context.)

You feel Loop's eyes on you the moment you're back. Burning into you like sunlight caught in a magnifying glass.

Your heart stutters in your chest as you struggle to catch your breath. That's a downside to doing things like this, then! Just because you loop doesn't mean your brain gets the memo. You force yourself to your feet, hand on your chest as you breathe deeply. You're okay! It's better than dying. Better than having to run for a tear and the sleepless dreams they bring.

Okay. Okay! You can learn to recover faster if you do it more! If you do it more! Who knows if you'll need to! But it's nice to have the option.

You still feel kind of shaken, but you'll put on a brave face. The worst of it is over.

You go through the motions, following the pattern as always. You think maybe Sif realizes something is wrong! But if they do they don't tell you. A part of you wonders if they think you'll tell them yourself. Would you have? Before this started?

… You don't think you want to answer that.

By the time you make it back to the favor tree, you're feeling a lot better! It helps that you're trained to stay calm under stress, but you also had plenty of time to cool down! So you're okay. And if you're not now, you will be! You'll be alright.

You shuffle over to your usual place on the roots and offer Loop a wave, "Hi, Elle!"

They. Don't say anything. They just look at you. None of the usual preamble. Loop just looks at you, eyes clouded over with more emotion than you've ever seen in them. They grip their arm so tight that you can see it leaving indents in their skin.

"Um." You look away from them.

"Fighter." They say after a long time. "You looped back."

"I… did, yes."

"Without a tear."

You suddenly envy Sif's ability to hide his face under a hat and cloak. You feel almost painfully exposed like this, with Loop's eyes boring into you. Their gaze stings.

"Without a tear." You agree finally.

And then they look mad. They look genuinely, aggressively, mad at you.

"What in the name of the stars do you think you're doing?!" They shout, jabbing a finger towards you accusatorially.

Despite yourself, you jerk back.

Wasn't it obvious? You kinda thought it was obvious! This was… a good thing! A way to loop without having to find tears or die!

"I figured… that if I can loop based on my emotions, it's for a reason, right?" You stare at the ground between the two of you, "If I can do that, it means I can use it!"

"So— so what, then! What! You. What did you even do, Fighter?!" They sputter.

You dig your nails into your palms, "… I mean. You saw, didn't you?"

"I saw! Oh, yes, I did see!" They shoot you a glare, "I don't understand, though! So! Walk me through it, Fighter! What. Did. You. Do?"

"It's emotions, right? Um. Not always. But… sometimes. If I feel bad enough or guilty enough. Like— like I can't go on."

They know this. They know this! You had an entire theory-crafting session where you learned this! There's something in the emotions, the feeling like things are over, that can make you loop!

They know this.

They haven't said anything.

"So I figured I could. Use that, maybe? If I felt, I dunno, hopeless enough. I thought I could make myself loop back." You shrug loosely, "… and I could."

"Why." Their voice shakes with it.

"It's better than dying!" You say quickly, "Better than dying! And it can be quicker than finding a tear. Less risk of worrying everyone!!"

"Why do you care? It's not like they'll remember! You'll just be looping back anyway!" Loop's voice travels up, becoming something high and sharp.

"It matters!" You counter.

"Does it?"

"It does!" You fold your arms over your chest, "It doesn't matter if they don't remember! Because I do! I don't want to see their horrified faces as I die or fling myself into a tear! Not ever again!"

You take a deep breath. You shouldn't shout.

"… Why do you care." You ask.

It's a terrible thing for you to ask. Cruel and mean and aggressive. You're mean, Isabeau. In this moment, you're mean.

"Hah!" They spit the laugh out like venom. "That's a funny question, Fighter. Because it has the same exact answer!! BECAUSE YOU WILL REMEMBER!!!"

They. Yelled at you.

Actually yelled at you, genuinely shouted. Have they ever done that before? They've raised their voice a few times, sure, but none of it was actually yelling. They look… scared.

"It's a better option." You tell them. You believe this. You have to.

"It's not!" They argue, "It really, really, isn't!"

"Why not?"

"Because — because I don't want you to!!" Loop shouts.

And then they still. They look away from you, trying to collect themself, "I mean. Because you shouldn't have to."

"I shouldn't have to do any of this." You say quietly, "It's a bad situation, right? And I shouldn't have to do this at all. But I'm here, and I can't get out if I don't try, Elle. And that means doing new things."

"Fighter." Their voice wavers. "You… understand what this will do to you, right? If you do this to yourself? It's. Dragging yourself to your lowest just to loop, it can't possibly be good in the long run."

You do your best to smile, your teeth clack together harshly. "Well!! I'll just have to make sure I don't have to loop again, right?"

"No." They shake their head once, firm, "I need for you to tell me that you understand. Or else I will not let you do this."

"You're not really able to do much in the House." You say.

And it's mean. Of course it is. But you need to have this out! So none of your friends see you hurt! You don't want to force yourself to loop like that, but it's better.

Loop brings their hand up to their face, flashing the hand sign they taught you. Their eyes narrow on you, sharp and dangerous. Like a dagger.

[I will yell in your mind until you're too distracted to continue. I will not let you do this unless you tell me that you understand.]

You're not stupid. Not like everyone assumes you are. Of course you understand. But it doesn't matter if you feel bad! As long as you protect your friends, as long as you keep your family safe! If you ruin your own mind trying to save them from this, that's okay! And if it's not it will be!

You'll make it okay!!!

"So?" Loop asks, aloud this time.

They couldn't stop you, you don't think.

And isn't it kinda nice? To feel all those things instead of choking them down? To just freehand something instead of following all the steps? If you never feel any emotion other than good ones it's bad! Like — what was that comparison you all made — eating your favorite food all the time!

Feeling bad can. Be good. This is easier than dying.

"I understand." You say eventually, "I know what might happen to me. But. I'm going to keep it in my back pocket. Just in case."

Elle looks impossibly sad. "Sunlight…"

You don't think either of you want to continue this conversation.

"..." They breathe out, putting on a smile, "What can I do for you on this wonderful new loop?"

[lightningant]

I've never seen characterizations of Tom and Harry the way yours is. I love how neurotic and messed up they both are -- they're *SO CUTE* too. <3 <3 <3

Tom is just so exhausted and cynical and Harry is a manic catastrophe with sooo many crossed wires and they're HILARIOUS. XD

And just so well written, I cannot tell you how distracted I was for at least a week after I read what you had for your fic -- I truly, truly admire your narration and dialogue and characterizations (I already said that but PLEASE I LOVE THEM SO **BAD** >O< ) Soooo funny and well made.

They're realistic! Tom and Harry are so messy and also normal people at the end of the day who make mistakes and aren't super cool all the time (really, they're utter dorks, and you TOTALLY show thatt) but also they're competent and scary and stubborn and you just have suchh a nice blend of their facets and I JUST....aghhh, I love itt.

Also I ADORE your designs -- I love how Tom is so sickly and neat (you said it best "Victorian child with tuberculosis" LMAO), and Harry is so IDK, he's just a Guy but in the most wonderful way -- I'm not actually good with words :,))))

I just love your art style in general, it's like, realistic yknow. You don't get rid of normal people "imperfections", they're a part of the design or enhance them -- I don't think the word imperfections is right, I just mean like, you don't exclude non-conventionally attractive aspects of bodies or facial expressions??? Idk, I'm trying here, I really am. Just, just, just I like it a lot and I wanna be like that toooooo >.<

IIIIIIII dunno if I have accurately gotten anything across or even given an actual good compliment in this entire thing but anyways you're very cool and awesome and also PLEASE forget that I said they were Babygirl I've never used that word before in my LIFEE and don't know if that was right at all -- if it was nevermind I meant it all and am so cool -- ANYWAYS bye :,)

I don't think I've succeeded in lessening my embarrassment but uhhhhh, I hope I've at least articulated myself better :,)))

Askbomb swag. Thank you, this message was so sweet :) I shall try to match energies.

One of the things I love most is that the kind of person who puts up pretensions is, innately, trying to hide something about themselves they find sub-par. Tom isn't just a scary and incredibly powerful domineering sigma male who is a master manipulator, he is a person who is actively attempting to turn himself into that man, and in my fic he is still a teenager and still tripping his way through that mental image he has of himself. The two worst ages to ever be are 15 and 20; fifteen, when you are ready to shed childhood but don't know what maturity looks like just yet, and 20, when you are ready to become your own person and achieve adulthood, picking your way across existence-defining beliefs. And his only friend for the past like, 7 months? has been his 16-year-old self who has the single-minded objective of looking cool and mature to his adult self. A hell of his own making.

Harry is also 20. He is one of those 'unusually mature for his age' kids and he has an inflated sense of his own righteousness and capability, despite being the actual one with the emotional range of a teaspoon (he just knows to keep it himself). There is no way Harry would detect he is having a manic fit, especially if he is having one that is triggered by his arrested feelings on Sirius. It's incredibly fun writing him perform this extremely risky and reality-altering plan and his plan was "idk, kill him?" and picking shit up off the ground whenever he sees it, the DADA position included. our hero.

Beautiful tragic terminally ill gothic prince / fit jock is really a match made in heaven aesthetically. Cannot get enough of it

Thank you for art compliment too ^_^ I used to lean more to anime fandoms so Harry Potter really let me stretch my legs on more 'normal people' facial features like big noses and soft chins and I'm glad it's clear how much fun I'm having doing that. Yay! Though one of the compliments I've always gotten that I've always been proud of is how distinct the way I draw expressions is.

No no...you're right. Tom is absolutely a babygirl. And Harry...well he was certainly Ginny's babygirl, and I'm sure a part of him is really itching to have someone put their hand on the small of his back 😔

[crookedkryptonitebeliever]

Best and worst of both worlds (part 12)

Tw: injury, yandere and monty just being a creep

the University option was 60% wben the votes were 20, idk y suddenly u guys decided to favour 5 blocks away from ur house too

Damn from what i seen theres like distinct team monty and team Yves, ngl as writer i am biased towards Yves he my favourite

Part 13

You told him that you need to go to class.

Montgomery frowned. "If ya' say so." He shifted his gears and began driving away.

You looked at the scenery around you. This place is definitely not somewhere you visited before, you see a few buses driving by. But none of which you recognize.

"You free during the weekends?" He asked.

You said no.

Montgomery pouted. "Well, when are you free?"

You shrugged and said being a university student is demanding.

He sighed dejectedly. "What do I know, I only have a high school diploma. Wasn't one for the books, I'd rather git' out there and make me some cash."

You stayed silent.

"You ain't built for that, it really ain't for the faint hearted. So you gotta stay in school and try your hardest, sweetheart. Follow your dreams of becoming... whatever you wanted to be."

You nodded in acknowledgement. But Montgomery kept talking.

"I came to the city 'cause I heard I can make it big there. I didn't really have a plan, I was hopin' I'd make big bucks and start my own business." He switched his blinker on as he readies himself to make a turn.

"It was totally harder than I thought. I moved from city to city, was broke in every single one and I had to live out of my car if I wanted to eat. The people, all of 'em were mean as hell no matter where I go. They're nothin' like the people back home."

Curiosity gets the best of you and you asked why didn't he just return to base.

He laughed. "I didn't wanna hear an 'I told you so' from my family. I had to fight to get out of that damn farm. I can't imagine the humiliation if I come back home, tail between my legs, empty handed."

The air between you became quiet after that.

"So... what are ya' studying?"

You tried your best to explain your degree and the profession that you're hoping to work as. Montgomery hummed in response.

"I dunno much about that. But it sure sounds stressful and too brainy for me. You're such a smart kid."

You said thanks.

"A little lackin' in the brawn department though. That's why you need me to protect ya'." He grinned. "We sure are such a great match! When I get that business idea of mine up and runnin', you're gonna be handling the books. I'll be handlin' the shop- the physical part. We're gonna be swimmin' in riches, in no time!"

You didn't respond to that, making his excited laughter die down quickly.

"...Or you could just choose what'cha wanna do. Fine by me, I'll fund it the best I can." Montgomery is starting to look uncomfortable, it seems like he's trying to make some conversation with you. But you didn't want to give him any more of your attention.

The rest of the ride went by smoothly.

__

"Sixth period, I guess." He stopped in front of the entrance. You wonder if he's confused as to why he barely sees anyone around now.

You looked at the time. It's 11:45AM. The bus is coming in 5 minutes.

"Here." He shoved something into your hands. "Treat yourself to something nice." You uncrumpled it to reveal two $20 bills.

You thanked him and pulled the handle of the door.

"Wait! I want your number!" He got out of his car and ran up to you.

You said that you don't remember and you don't have your phone with you.

"You don't remember your own phone number?" He stared in disbelief.

You said that with the advancement of technology, no one needs to remember any phone numbers. It's all stored in the smartphone.

He scratched the back of his neck. "Well, I think you should memorize at least a couple of em'. What are ya' gonna do when your phone breaks, huh? You're gonna be doomed!"

Yeah. Like how you are right now.

You tried to end the conversation by agreeing and saying bye.

"I have an idea." You yelped as he grabbed you by the wrist. He pulled out a pen and uncapped it, Montgomery wrote a string of numbers on your arm.

You can only watch as he decorated your entire forearm in horror. How are you going to explain this to Yves?

"There, that's my number."

You pulled your arm away and told him that you're going to be late for class.

"Don't forget to call me!" He hollered as you move far, far away from him.

__

Finally, $40 richer, 100% more disturbed, 200% sweatier, you reached your house. 20 minutes late.

You dragged yourself onto the porch and struck your arm repeatedly against the door. Panting with your tongue out like a dog.

You wiped the sweat off your brow as the door opened. Thinking it's one of your housemates, you tried walking past them, only to be grabbed by the shoulders.

"(Name)!"

You looked up and saw Yves with the most haunting expression you've ever seen on his beautiful yet bruised face. Half it was still concealed by his hair. There was a mix of worry, sadness, anger and relief. It was an expression that guarantees you're in trouble.

You stared at him for a few seconds, his dilated pupil never left yours. You felt like you were on a court trial during those 20 seconds, Yves seemingly scrutinizing every aspect of your soul.

You burst into tears, sobbing loudly and pathetically. You didn't know where to start, you had so many unmet needs at the moment.

You're roasting in your own skin and sunburnt, you don't even have a wink of sleep, you feel violated by Montgomery, your stomach hurts from eating the greasy fast food, your muscles are aching from that epinephrine shot, you have a headache, you don't like how your clothes stuck to your body and Yves is mad at you.

One of the needs was immediately met when he pulled you into a hug.

"I'm not upset at you." He whispered, pressing kisses on your head. You cried harder and sunk into him deeper.

Of course, he knew what happened, where you went and what Montgomery did. All of it was caught on surveillance cameras and they're easy to hack into. He heard the conversations between you and him, Montgomery should upgrade his phone, it didn't even put up a fight when he tried accessing it remotely.

All because he didn't predict that you would be anaphylactic to your new medicine. If you knew he's virtually everywhere and watching your every move, Yves would have immediately intercepted before you could even put a foot down on the floor.

Yves let you wet his clothes until you calmed down enough for him to pull you into the house, where it is much cooler and dimmer. Your nosy housemates were peeking from the hallway, but this time Yves wasn't acting so nice. He shot them all a death glare, which made them promptly retreat into their rooms.

He closes the door and leads you to the sofa. Where he allowed you to let your emotions out on his chest, while sitting on his lap.

A hand stroking the back of your head, another pulling you close to him. Yves placed his lips on your forehead as snot drips down your nose and onto Yves. He doesn't mind your sweat or skin flakes.

Yves does appreciate that Montgomery was there at the right time. When you started to rub your eyes excessively, Yves was already on the highway, doing 120 miles per hour on an 80 limit. He knows something is wrong.

Unfortunately, though, he was too late and Montgomery already drove off with you. So he had to do a detour and tailgate him instead.

He did all the calculations and thought of all the possible outcomes in his head. And... to his dismay, the best one was to let everything that happened to you happen. Yves lets go and allows Montgomery to be the hero for today for the sake of your life.

But you were never in any real danger. Yves was following closely behind this entire time. Of course, you're definitely going to be uncomfortable. However, he knows you're not stupid, he could not slip a single "coincidence" that will allow him to save you from Montgomery. It's going to be too implausible to happen given that Yves is still a relatively "normal" person in your eyes.

You hiccupped in his chest, apologizing over and over again. Yves assured you that you did nothing wrong. He reached for his bag, taking out a packet of wet wipes and dry facial tissues.

He began cleaning you with the damp towel. Yves did not flinch when you coughed right into his face and had thick, opaque mucus land on his eyelashes. He continued wiping away the snot and tears while letting a glob of green rest on his eye.

If you had lingered at the university longer, Yves would have 'coincidentally' bumped and picked you up instead. Under the guise of him searching for you because he arrived early at your place to find the front door unlocked, your bag in your room and your phone on the table. Very unusual behavior of you.

But he underestimated your desperation to catch the next bus. You have broken his records, that was the fastest you ever ran since middle school and he has the data to back it up.

Now that you're slowly relaxing, Yves removed the goop from his eye using another wet wipe. His long eyelashes clumped together from the moisture. He continued by drying you using the facial tissues, which includes drying the sweat from your back and to your rear. Who gives a damn if Yves has his hands up your shirt and down your pants, it's Yves. You trust him.

You didn't pay enough attention to wonder why he brought some aloe gel today out of all days. Yves snapped the lid open and applied a pea sized amount on his fingertips. Yves spread it evenly on your now peeling skin, you let your shoulders sag as the gel soothes the burning pain.

Montgomery proved himself useful, twice. First, by saving your life. Second, by helping Yves look much more appealing to you. Doesn't his feather-like touches feel nice? It's nothing like that brute's talons.

Yves only wished that he had half a brain to feed you something appropriate and not an artery-blocking lump of fat and sugar. Four, of them plus two grease saturated hash browns, to be precise. God, Montgomery is spineless, he should have stopped you or at least found a way to make you eat slower.

You fell limp onto him as he skillfully massaged your scalp with his fingers. Your eyes rolled back into your head as the tingles travel down your spine, causing you to forget about the soreness you've been experiencing.

Yves had a look of disdain when he caught a glimpse of Montgomery's phone number written on your arm in pen ink. He doesn't know when to quit, does he?

You never once stopped to wonder how he knew to prepare a pack of ice wrapped in a towel even before you came back. He brought the chilly item to your neck, cooling down one of your crucial points.

Yves continued massaging your head to relieve you of any tension. He ticked off his mental checklists on your needs, another thing is going to be off his list very soon.

He watches your eyelids droop until your eyes are fully closed. Now draped across his lap, you're starting to snore and drift into slumberland.

He sighed. Caressing your tender leg as you sleep.

"You are such a troublemaker." He quietly hissed. Scooping you into his strong arms.

Yves carried you into your room, where he lowered you onto your bed. He didn't put the blanket on you, because you will overheat, wake up and panic again.

He went out and retrieved his bag. Yves took out his portable fan and placed it near you, so the moving air could cool you down further. If you weren't so bashful and considerate, he would have installed a portable air conditioning unit in your room already. But he knows you will find the gesture too extravagant and start to spiral out of control with your self depreciation.

He closed the curtains, turned off the lights. The only thing illuminating the otherwise dark room are the holes in your curtains and his laptop screen.

Yves took a seat, put on his reading glasses and began typing away. One hand keying in the information, the other holding the wretched medication that hospitalized you.

[liquidluckandstuff]

which character would u love to give a bottle of liquid luck and what would u want their goal to be

Ok I have two ideas one Tomarrymort and one Dadmort and i'll do that dadmort one.

Harry ends up with a bottle of Liquid Luck. How does he get it? We don't know. That's not part of the focus right now. He is at the Dursleys and having the absolute worst time. Sure he is leaving in a few days but he can't stand another minute there.

Besides, Dumbledore promised him he wouldn't have to stay there very long and he wasn't sure how well he could trust his word anymore.

Anyway, Harry drinks the potion (he doesn't even know what it is. He just knows that it is supposed to help him somehow) and suddenly has the desire to go for a walk. He just leaves and no one stops him. Not his relatives, not the order, no one.

He walks long and far enough that someone ends up seeing him on the side of the road and offers him a ride. Harry takes it and ends up having a nice conversation with a stranger. "Where ya headed," they ask. "This way, I think. I'm pretty sure something amazing is going to happen," replied Harry sounding drugged as fuck. The stranger doesn't care. They are high as a kite too.

They drop Harry off in the middle of some old muggle town that is pretty far off from anywhere of note. Harry gets out and waves them off cheerfully.

Then he goes and grabs a coffee from some bakery so he can sit outside and wait. That's all he does. He just waits. Someone left a book behind that ends up being something Harry is interested in so he isn't bored.

An hour or two later, a shadow appears in front of him. The man doesn't look familiar, but Harry gives him a kind smile anyway.

"Hello," Harry says kindly. "Are you waiting for someone too?"

"You're not supposed to be here," the stranger says bewildered.

"I'm not supposed to be anywhere," Harry shrugs. "But here I am."

"Why are you here," the stranger snaps with narrowed eyes. "Where are your guardians?"

"I dunno. Off somewhere having dinner I think. They are probably celebrating my disappearance. Do you want some," Harry says as he offers the man a piece of his cookie. "The woman at the shop gave it to me, but it's too sweet for me."

"I-" the stranger looked down at the cookie and shakes his head. There was something strange going on, but Harry was too happy to notice. Whatever potion he took, it made him feel like he was walking on air. "No, thank you."

"Suit yourself," Harry shrugs before turning back to his book, and then shouting in protest as it was suddenly snatched from his hands. "Hey!"

"You shouldn't be here," the man snaps dragging Harry up by his arm.

"I can go where I want. There isn't anyone left to give a shit and stop me." While he said it, the happy feeling that kept him moving faded away and in its place his resentment bubbled up. "Leave me alone."

Harry pulled his arm away and turned to walk away but was stopped by the stranger pulling the collar of his shirt.

"Wha-Hey STOP what are you doing?"

"Of all the stupid idiotic things to do. They let you just wander off? Have they taught you nothing? What happened to Dumbledore's great protection? Why aren't you being trained? Why are you just out here--" The man hissed is parseltongue, not that Harry knew.

He responded in the same language, "Dumbledore? What about Dumbledore?"

"You speak?"

"What do you mean I speak,"Harry mocked. "We've been speaking this whole time. Let go!"

But the stranger pulled him in closer. Harry didn't have a chance to fight back before he was apparated away.

[howlingday]

TAURUS TEACHES:

HOW TO BE COOL!

Adam: Hey, hey, dude! Welcome back to another class in coolness! I see you've done your homework~.

Ruby: (Dressed like 90s cool stereotype) Yeh.

Adam: You're looking slick, man! Real cool! Awesome job! A plus for sure! How we feelin', mah man~?

Ruby: Cool~!

Adam: Sick! Today, we're gonna talk about talking. You've got the look, but you talk with a certain lack of confidence. Ya feel me? Quiet like, and like a Signal student like. Ya feel me?

Ruby: (Whines)

Adam: That's what I'm talking about, man! Speak up! How old are you?!

Ruby: I'm 43!

Adam: See, that's not- Holy shit, you're 43?

Ruby: Yeh.

Adam: That's no way for a person of your age to be talking.

Ruby: Well, that's why I'm here, I guess.

Adam: Exactly right, Rube! You're at the right place! Adam Taurus will get you sorted out! First, I want you to project. With your voice.

Ruby: Like- Right now? Here? On the street?

Adam: No better place! Say something loudly, immediately!

Ruby: Well, wh-what should I say?

Adam: The COOLEST thing you can think of!

Ruby: I- I CALL MY DAD OFTEN~!

Nora: (Distant) Oh, that's nice~! I should call my dad~!

Adam: Man, that's not cool! Hm... The projection was right, but the subject matter's lacking. Calling your dad isn't that cool.

Ruby: (Gasps)

Adam: Now, without shouting it, tell me something cool.

Ruby: Hm... I have NO credit card debt~!

Adam: No.

Ruby: Um... I cut drinking coffee because it's too acidic, so now I'm more of a tea gal~.

Adam: No!

Ruby: My apartment is spotless!

Adam: ...I think you're fundamentally misunderstanding what it is "cool". To be cool is to be a bit BAD! Be a RULE-BREAKER! Being RUDE, IRRESPONSIBLE, PUNCHING, KICKING, HAVING SEX, AND EATING BUGS! ARE YOU SURE YOU'RE UP FOR THIS~?!

Ruby: I AM! I AM~!

Adam: Alright! That's what I wanna hear! But you need to start small... Say the worst swear you know!

Ruby: Like, now? Right on the street?

Adam: YES, HERE ON THE STREET!

Ruby: Hm... Heck.

Adam: I'm sure you know worse words than heck.

Ruby: Frick?

Adam: You're not even trying.

Ruby: It's impolite.

Adam: Exactly. Say a swear.

Ruby: Um... Uh, hell?

Adam: ...Okay~! (Nods) Now we're talkin'! Keep goin'~!

Ruby: (Hums) Shit!

Adam: Yeah... Yeah, that's cool~!

Ruby: (Giggles) FUCK!

Adam: WHOA~! YEAH~! Can you use it in a sentence~?!

Ruby: I... fuck... pussy!

Adam: ...That's amazing. Okay, I think that's enough to warm us up. Now, project again, big and loud, and say the coolest, baddest, wickedest thing you can think of!

Ruby: (Chuckles) Okay~!

Ruby: [Censorship is the suppression of speech, public communication, or other information. This may be done on the basis that such material is considered objectionable, harmful, sensitive, or "inconvenient".] FATHER- [General censorship occurs in a variety of different media, including speech, books, music, films, and other arts, the press, radio, television, and the Internet for a variety of claimed reasons including national security, to control obscenity, pornography, and hate speech, to protect children or other vulnerable groups, to promote or restrict political or religious views, and to prevent slander and libel.] ATLAS ACADEMY~!

Adam: ...

Adam: I- Oh my god. Oh my- Oh my god, you can't say that!

Nora: DO YOU TALK TO YOUR DAD LIKE THAT?!

Ruby: No! No! I-I was just-

Adam: No, no, no. Absolutely not. That's not cool at all.

Ruby: I- I'm sorry~!

Adam: I dunno. That's just... (Takes off mask) You don't really think that, do you?

Ruby: Of course not!

Adam: Okay. (Sighs) God... I'm just- It's my fault, really. I'm the instructor, I could've... I dunno. But that's a failing grade for today. Definitely a fucking F- for sure!

Ruby: Should we... meet tomorrow?

Adam: We definitely should, but we need to leave this part of town immediately. Walk the other way. I'll message you. (Leaves)

Nora: YEAH, GET THE HELL OUT OF HERE! (Launches grenades at Ruby)

Ruby: (Screaming as she flees)

Nora: SOOOO! RUUUDE!

[echantedtoon]

Ok. So I figured I'd do a part 2 of this now. These are just my opinions on who'd be the best parents out of all the Lower Moons but I'm gonna switch up the order from Worst dads/Moms to Best dads/moms. No real order other than that though. If you disagree with any of these then that's perfectly fine.

However I will absolutely NOT include Rui for VERY OBVIOUS reasons.

KAMANUE/MUKAGO/WAKURABA/ROKURO:

-Honestly not much is known about these four other than they were killed during Enmu 's introduction. However I don't think any would be good parents considering how cowardly and selfish they came off during the limited time they were around.

0/10 Only because of limited info and selfishness shown

UBUME:

-(A lower moon from one of the OVA Kny mangas for those who don't know who she is.) Dunno much about her but like Nakime gives the childfree impression.

0/10 again mostly due to limited info

SUSAMARU:

-Has no idea how to parent or what to do with a baby.

-Is more of the 'Fun Aunt' than the actual mom. She gets bored easily and just hands them over to you before skedaddling.

-Similar to Douma, you have to do all of the parenting because Susamaru will just let her children run wild letting them do whatever they want. However unlike Douma, she won't actively take care of them other than making sure they don't die.

2/10 Better than the first ones but has no real interest being a parent

YAHABA:

-Mans a neat freak. So once he hears about having a child expect him to keep away five feet when you get morning sickness.

-He will begrudgingly bring you foods you're craving, things you need, etc but don't expect him to go anywhere near you when you're sick or when baby's born. The germophobe.

-Will legit not go ANYWHERE near the baby until they're about ten due to kids being messy monsters. Only time he touches them is when he insists on bath time. Bath time is pretty much mandatory for him and insists that the baby gets two baths a day and one during the middle of the night....You have to put your foot down on this.

-Wont let anyone harm them but still doesn't touch them until they are old enough to not be caked on in dirt. Strict dad even when they're a teenager. Very strict rules especially when it comes to hygiene an training.

4/10 Not the worst definitely but is too strict

HAIROU:

-(Another Lower Moon from the OVA Kny mangas. Actually know about him since I have the book he's in.) Complicated relationship. REALLY BIG complicated relationship.

-Doesn't hate the kid but doesn't legit know what to do with a baby. You gotta reassure this man. Will keep his distance. Will help you by getting things you need and doing things you ask and making sure you're ok but will still keep his distance even when the kiddos born.

-Will keep his distance and help you with a few things at first but slowly starts to get closer. Holding them always ends with him staring down with mixed feelings. Legit not sure what to do or feel.

-When his kid gets older he'll start teaching them how to use guns and be proud of them for wanting to learn with him. It becomes a comfortable bonding time with them even if it gives you a heart attack every time you see him trying to have them aim a rifle that's WAY to big for them.

-Takes them on hunting trips a lot and shows them how to successfully hunt deer and other animals.

-Teaches them all about different kinds of guns and starts giving them some of his to start their own collection...You safely put them away until they're actually old enough to use them.

-Sometimes you'll walk in to Hairou cleaning his guns while his kiddo is asleep on his shoulders wearing his hat. He acts like it's not even happening.

-Gets his kid a wolf pup as a pet giving you another heart attack.

6/10 He has no idea what to do most of the time but he's trying his best to be there.

ENMU:

-Actually surprisingly doesn't react other than a casual response when you first tell him- "Enmu, I'm pregnant." "That's nice, Honey. Do you want udon for dinner tonight?"

-It legit catches you so off guard that you have to confirm he heard you right and that he wasn't just assuming it was a joke. He knows. He's known a full week even before you found out. How? No one knows how. It's a mystery to this day.

-Is surprising very attentive and happy about the entire thing but is just so casual about it it's surprising. He also is deadass prepared for everything but you're so weirded out by just how calm and casual he is about EVERYTHING. It's always "Do you want water? I think the baby wants water." Or "Do you think the nursery would be better in black and white or greys? Those are neutral colors since we don't know what we're getting." Or "I got you your favorite food! Don't wanna neglect my beautiful wife now.~" You quickly get used to it.

-This initial personality doesn't change a bit. The other Kizuki are horrified Enmu reproduced with Akaza even apologizing to you.

-However with a lot of the moons you'll have to do all the responsible parenting. Enmu sees his spawn as something that can do no wrong and unless it's talking back to you or Muzan, will not punish them. In fact he'll probably encourage his spawns to cause trouble, wreck havoc, hurt their foes, etc. Over spoiling them but puts his foot down if that attitude is directed at Mommy or to Muzan. Those are big nos.

-Outside of that he surprisingly is very invested in their raising. Rocking them to sleep, bed time stories, research for educational toys- It surprises even Muzan how invested he's become in not only his wife but future spawns.

7/10 Well prepared and very invested but the heavy duty parenting will have to be on your shoulders.

KYOGAI:

-Faints when you first tell him he's about to be a father. Lands on his drums and accidentally teleports you both into different rooms on impact.

-Despite the comical first impression, he's very interested in this. Scared out of his mind at first though. Has to ask you over and over for a month if you're SURE You're expecting and it's not a mistake or badly planned prank...He stopped asking after you death glared at him after throwing up due to morning sickness for the hundredth time in a row.

-This man is scared but in a sweet way. Always asking if you need anything, if you're hurting, if he should go steal more pillows from the nearby town. If demons could have heart attacks he would. He tries to keep you isolated in one room of the mansion only he could get to after he got the fear of slayers and other demons possibly coming after you. You had to put your foot down about the ridiculousness of that idea. He's just very worried about you and wants to keep you both safe.

-Def tries harder to get back into the twelve Kizuki when the baby comes into the picture. Gotta be strong enough to protect you both.

-Mellows out somewhat as the months go by. Still anxious about things and sets up a nursery in the back of the mansion in case intruders enter.

-He likes to sit down and read his stories to the baby and possibly tap his drums. You know the baby probably can't hear him before their born but he's so cute when he does it that you don't tell him.

-Faints again when baby's born. Luckily this time he doesn't randomly teleport you both.

-Will be absolutely smitten with his little one. Carries them around the mansion in one hand when you need a break. If baby cries he just easily teleports to their room and tends to them. Still worried about them so expect him to randomly teleport in and out of the nursery at least ten times a day and night to check on them. Sometimes just randomly takes them with him everywhere even if they're fine or sleeping.

-He's also a very good husband to you. Pulls your hair back when you get sick. Gets you food. Likes teleporting you around if you're too tired to walk. After baby's born he will dote on you as you recover. If you ever need a break he's perfectly fine with taking care of his child as you relax.

-He doesn't want his baby to go through what he did so as they grow expect him to encourage his child to do whatever they want (within reason) and be whatever they want to be when they grow up.

-He's very supportive. Baby wants to be a tailor? He randomly steals fabric and sewing needles. His child shows a hobby in fishing? They're given an old fishing pole he found in the mansion. He overheard them talking about a necklace they're interested in? He steals it the very next night and gives it to them.

-Very good parenting. Tells them they can talk to him about anything and everything. Gives them space and privacy when they need/want it. Puts his foot down if they've done something bad. Gives advice. Tells them that it's ok to fail at something and they'll get it with practice.

-Was well educated as a human, so expect your child to be taught to read, write, etc at an early age. Your child will be smarter than most children their age thanks to Sensai Kyogai.

-He doesn't tell them about him being a demon and what they do until they're a teenager and can better understand. He wants them to have a normal childhood. So for a long time your child just thinks his dad has a skin condition or something making him look weird.

9/10 Not perfect but he's a very good father.

[sweetandsavageautistic]

(CW: Cringe, puzzle pieces, Autism Moms, potential sensory eyesore, ableism possibly, like one sex joke)

Welcome back to me harshly criticizing graphic design choices that people make about autism where I find pictures of shirts and whatnot and I tear into them like a lion tearing into its prey. Let's get into it.

In the words of @rebmasel on TikTok: "Ka-chow."

First up the only appropriate way to do this review is in the style of Dr. Seuss.

I do not like the puzzle piece, for it disturbs my fucking peace.

The color purple is real nice, but the message here I would think twice.

No tacky colors, so that's good. I don't hate it, though I feel I should.

Final Score: 4 out of 10. I'd rather not see this again.

I know the first line's kinda cheating, but I couldn't really think of any other fitting rhyme.

Next up is this:

This is already miles better than most of what I've seen.

The colors aren't tacky, they're actually kinda nice.

You have two wolves inside of you, both of them are gay and autistic. /ref

Autism Acceptance, that's a win.

Infinity symbol instead of puzzle piece, fuck yes.

Only criticism is that it's kind of a cheesy message, but not the worst.

Final Score: 9.5 out of 10. I'd wear it.

And then the quality drops here.

Puzzle piece means you lost points.

"Autism Mom." You can say it's difficult to raise an autistic child, but you're not a goddamn superhero.

How dare you use Rosie the Riveter for this. The disrespect. /hj

The military font is tacky.

I don't like seeing blue associated with autism, but at least it's not an abominable shade of blue.

Final Score: 1 out of 10. Get it out of my sight.

Speaking of lions that I mentioned earlier:

I'm already liking the absence of puzzle pieces.

Autism Acceptance is a yes.

When a lioness has children, she stops making love to the lion. The lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous he EATS the children. You'd think this would upset the lioness; far from it. They make love again like the children never existed. I find that idea terrifying. /q

Not a fan of the colors, they're too dark for my taste.

The message feels cheesy.

Final Score: 7.5 out of 10. I dunno if I'd wear it, but it's not the worst design I've seen. The effort and care are present.

This feels like a roller coaster because it went downhill again.

"Share your friends." As someone with PDA, to quote Hamlet, Act 3, Scene 3, Line 87; "No." /hj

Autism Awareness. Once again, I am very aware of my existence but sometimes I wish I wasn't; there are days where I'd like to be both perceived and NOT perceived.

The blue isn't tacky, thank God.

I hate the quote because it gives the message that autism is nothing but a burden.

Also there's a bit too much going on with it, all of the decals and shit.

I don't see any puzzle pieces, so thank God.

Final Score: 2 out of 10. I do not recommend.

This is a bit different.

There's just way too much going on in this. Absolute eyesore.

Return of the Tacky Elementary School Colors, except they dragged orange into it this time.

So many puzzle pieces.

Why is everyone trying to fight autism? It's just minding its business.

I'm pretty sure that that's going to be a signal to mean kids to bully your kid. Like, even if there's more understanding of autism, there are still asshole crotch goblins.

I haven't "done" autism, but I am curious as to whether or not autism is good in bed. /j

Final Score: 1 out of 10. No thanks, I'll pass.

Let's end part 2 on a high note.

Simple design, but colorful and pretty easy on the eyes.

And the colors aren't patronizing.

No puzzle pieces.

Acknowledgement of the intersectionality of autism and sexuality.

No cheesy message; just a funky design about autism and gayness. Not all autism shirts have to be serious or UwU or motivating, so it's always a nice change of pace.

Final Score: 11 out of 10. As an asexual biromantic autistic, I'd wear this.

[candyskiez]

I've said it before and I've said it again: the way people treat people who were raped was just as traumatizing to me as being raped itself, if not more. Teaching people that this horrible event defines them and is a Sensitive Subject that can never be brought up and can never be shown in anything and is "too much" does an impact, shockingly. Seeing everyone attack sa survivors and accuse them of lying and having everyone think you're just trying to ruin someone's life does a number on you. Having no autonomy whatsoever over what legal forces do about it does a number on you. I'd argue that everyone suddenly finding out about me being raped because I finally worked up the courage to tell someone and she snitched and it completely blowing up my personal life was just as traumatizing to me as being assaulted, lol. It gave me way more trust issues and I can't talk about my trauma with my friends anymore 👍. No one ever asked what someone Did to me when I tell them I was emotionally abused, though I don't doubt that it happens, but my mom asked "with WHAT" when I told her my grandma raped me. Which, by the way, is a really fucked up way to respond to someone confessing they got raped and if you do it they're allowed to kill you. I don't care if you're confused. If they say they were raped, they were raped.

When you say you were raped, everyone becomes so so suspicious of every word you say. Everyone practically grades you on whether or not your circumstance was Enough to be considered rape or if you're being honest. Because people are so deadset on rape being completely divorced from any other kind of crime, like it's not just another form of violence. So if you say "this person raped me" they hear "so you think this person is Satan and Pure Evil. But they're nice to ME, so clearly you're lying!"

Just because someone's nice to you doesn't mean they aren't fully capable of doing something absolutely horrible to someone else. You making rape into some mythical thing that only happens in one set extreme circumstance and can never happen to anyone else isn't helping and is in fact actually hurting people. My rapist is apparently very nice to most people. I don't think she was attracted to me in the slightest. She saw me getting into a situation where she believed I was putting myself at risk of assault or being preyed upon, so she "showed me" what would happen if I didn't stop. It had nothing to do with attraction. I explain why she did it because you need to understand that by deciding only a very specific type of person with a specific motive could do something, you predispose yourself to not believing victims of people outside of that specific image. Kill the image of what a rapist looks like in your head. Kill the image of what a "good victim" looks like in your head. I was incredibly unstable and unpleasant after being assaulted because I'd just gotten fucking assaulted and was in denial of it. I'm still trying to become a better person. Often the sweet nice person is the rapist and the "weird crazy person" is being abused.

It's also important to know motives for rape because. Surprise surprise, you are not immune to being a rapist. You are not immune to traumatizing someone via sex. You are not immune to abusing someone sexually. Rapists don't wake up and go "time to traumatize a child!" and pretending they do actively harms victims. People didn't believe me because they couldn't conceive of someone as kind as my grandma raping me, even though she abused me on a daily basis. You need to be aware of people's boundaries and mental states during sex. Including if you're submissive, btw.

This is getting into a tangent, sorry. Is this a vent? This might be a vent. I dunno. You can reblog this if you want, but keep in mind this was written when I was kind of emotional so it might not be the most polished or account for Every Single Way it can be misinterpreted. Think before you argue, please. I probably do not mean the worst thing you can think of.

[frikatilhi]

may i ask some nice, sweet bojere in these trying times? sad bojere bitch peak rn :((

You may! Except I don't know if I can deliver anything more than more sadness.

I went to my ideas file, and there was this snippet I had to get out of my system the day the Perfect Date interview came out. It's a conversation between them during karaoke night.

Several warnings: they are only friends; I even briefly mention Jere's relationship situation; it's not edited; it's just this little dialogue-only stream of consciousness... thing.

But I guess here it is anyway.

"Was it too much? When I kiss you?"

"No, are you kidding? Everyone loved it!"

"But for you, it is okei?"

"Yeah, sure."

"Okei."

"Does it ever weird you out though? How much they love it?"

"Sometimes. When someone mention the fanfictions about us."

"I know, right? Have you ever looked?"

"No. But my friends sometimes tell me."

"Those four fuckers, too."

"It’s... weird, yes. But also… kinda nice."

"Nice? Them imagining us… you know?"

"They see the love."

"Huh. I guess."

"Is it hard for you? Because… you know."

"Because of what I am?"

"Yes. Does it bother that they write you gay?"

"Well. Can’t really blame them, can I? I mean, they are not wrong."

"Yes, but. They don’t know. It is maybe not nice when they speculate."

"It’s sometimes scary. I’m not ready yet. Dunno when I’ll be."

"They want best for you. They cheer you. You know?"

"I guess. Sometimes I do feel like I’m disappointing everyone. Those fans that want me to be. And those who don’t."

"You not disappoint me. Or your friends. Is that not most important?"

"Yeah. Well."

"I know."

"What about you? Does it bother you?"

"They can think what they want. I hold a flag at the gig and they scream and be happy. Everybody win."

"And, what about her, she doesn’t mind…?"

"Are you kidding? She is the worst of them. Probably would invite you for threesome if I say yes."

"Ha ha. Like I would dare."

"Too bad."

"Stop."

"Do you ever wonder? If we meet and both are single."

"You’re not, so it doesn’t matter. You’re also straight."

"I don’t know. I don’t think I care, that much."

"Huh."

"You are beautiful man, Bojan. I see you."

"Ok, we need to change the subject."

"Point is, I love our friendship. It shine the light in my life. Is it wonder that fans see it? People just want to be happy. They see happy people, they like it."

"Yeah. It’s still a bit weird."

"You are weird. I am weird. Everyone is weird."

"So, weird is good?"

"Yes, of course! And not everything need to be so serious."

"You have that right. So let them imagine me railing you in Tavastia showers as much as they want."

"Oooh no no no no no, it is me! Who is doing you."

"Haha, sure, right. Keep telling yourself that. It is not me they call their babygirl."

"And it is not me who always cry a lot in stories."

"Wait, how do you know? You said you haven’t read them?"

"Maybe I read a little."

"Oh no."

"Oh yes."

"Oh look, is it my turn to sing already?"

[biocrafthero]

Some rambles about. Whatever I guess lmao just lost in thought

Stars, they don't tell you how you feel it clawing at you. It's in your guts and against your ribs and at the back of your throat. It tastes like metal and makes you feel sick—it makes you feel hungry. It's hands around your throat and teeth in your mouth. It's your hands around someone's throat and your teeth at their flesh. You feel it in your mouth and it tastes like blood. It's hunger and drive, it's a want that feels like an absolutely insatiable need. There's a bottomless pit in your stomach and you feel hungry. It covers your mouth and hands and it feels like words and sinew.

They don't tell you how you begin to see yourself as a wolf and the more you see that the more everyone around you looks like a rabbit. You pray the next person that gets close to you is something that can handle you because the stars know that if it's a rabbit it'll feel so nice to have in your jaws. It's always tempting to bite down when it is. Sharp teeth into soft flesh, the taste of iron and texture of muscle. It always stains. Everyone can see it on your skin and you know, you know it's there! But you hide it anyways because keeping up the appearance of normalcy is the best way to survive. To be a wolf is to be unacceptable in the most basic sense of the word.

It's nothing but hunger. It bubbles up from inside like how it feels to hold back tears or bile. Your teeth will always feel to big for your mouth, your mouth too small for your teeth. Stars, stars, stars!! You don't know why you are this way but you also do! It's the worst feeling. You begin to crave it because you live in it for so long and when you're trying to get better it feels worse. It shouldn't be normal to feel like this but when it's your normal it's hard to have a frame of reference for anything else.

You want to find prey sometimes; you want to hunt and stalk and go for the kill. It's in your nature and you can deny it all you want but it's there. Your words are always too small to describe something so big—it seems to be a theme with you, never having enough. Selfishness is something you've grown accustomed to.

The worst is when you're clean, when you're not covered in blood anymore. You let it dry and you wash it away and you start anew. It feels good, and you know it's good for you too, but then you start to dream about it. You hunt in your dreams and it feels natural, it feels good. You don't feel awful for it even when your dreams feel like reality because part of you know this is who you are and it kind of sucks but it also makes sense to you.

The sensations always feel real; I had a dream where I held on so tight to someone and refused to let go, something I hadn't done in what feels like a year or two, and it felt good to be like that. I had another dream where I felt absolute devotion to someone and I knew that rotten feeling all too well and I liked it. You have these dreams and you wake up feeling disgusted with yourself, almost betrayed by how nice it felt in your own head.

Of course, that's just dreaming. Daydreaming is something else entirely, but I think my thoughts on that can be easily assumed based on what I've already said.

I dunno, I just needed to get this out of my system. Cloaking it in metaphor is just how I process it a bit better, it makes the pills easier to swallow.

[angie-long-legs]

25. What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done to someone?

Spill the Tea ☕️

"Uh, killed 'em? Don't get much worse than that!"

In the gritty foundations of his soul, Angel knew this wasn't the right answer. That there was one thing that he would truly never forgive himself for, no matter how long he waited in his eternal punishment to feel the burden of it lift. Of course, Hell wasn't a place where your sins were to be forgotten - more so a place where your sins thrived, and your shameful mistakes weighed heavy on you, unrelenting, for the rest of all time.

"I mean... I guess I did some more... personal shit than just whackin' mobsters.

"I... hurt a friend a' mine. A good friend. Best friend I eva' had, actually. Knew eachotha' since before we could walk or talk or anythin' - she was the neighbours kid, and on our street, everybody knew everybody.

"We grew up togetha', always togetha'. She was... sweet. Quiet, but real goofy once ya got ta know her. Too nice fa her own good. Her mom and dad were neva' around, so when my dad was bein' an asshole I'd camp out at hers, waitin' out the storm, ya know? Or when her parents skipped town fa more than a few nights, she'd come ta mine and my mom would cook a big family dinner so she'd have somethin' ta eat.

"Everyone thought we'd wind up togetha'. My dad was always sayin', "Anthony, yer gonna marry that girl one day!". Told me I was a lucky guy ta have it all come so easily ta me.

"But, uh... gettin' olda', realisin' I was different... I was scared. 'Specially when I started foolin' around with guys, sneakin' out an' gettin' high with fellas way too old fa me. By the time I was eighteen an' had neva' went steady with a girl, my dad was... y'know. Makin' comments, sayin' he ain't havin' a fa.g unda' his roof, threatenin' ta kick me out... I was terrified a' gettin' found out. And... I ain't proud a' how I handled it.

"This girl, my best friend... well, she was inta me - everyone knew it. I, uh, tried ta ignore it, fa the most part. Acted like it wasn't happenin', like I didn't know. Then, one day, I'd had this crazy fight with my dad, I went ta go see her, and... she told me she loved me. And... I dunno, I was a mess, and- and I told her I loved her too. And I did, just... not in the way she wanted. I thought- I thought maybe I would if I just... tried to. Also, I wanted my dad off my back - and he was, like a fuckin' shot. Neva' seen him more proud a' me than when I told him we were goin' together, and I did a lot a' fucked up shit fa that man.

"Think we made it about three or four months before it all went tits up - not that it wasn't doomed from the get-go. I was... fuck, I was shitty. Never wanted ta be around her afta' we started seein' eachother, I felt... pissed every time she tried ta be romantic or whateva'. Like I'd lost a fuckin' friend. And I was still messin' around with guys, tellin' myself I'd quit it and be a good partner or some other bullshit that'd neva' happen. Worst part was she was fuckin' good ta me, the whole time, she was tryin' ta get me ta open up, but... I mean, what was I supposed tell her? That I was a closet queer, a junkie? Even the shit with my family, I dunno how much she actually knew... I couldn't tell her nothin' real.

"Eventually, I got caught out. I'll spare ya the details, but it wasn't pretty. She left and... I never saw her again. Never knew where she went, what happened ta her. But she ain't down here far as I can tell, so I like ta think she made somethin' of herself. Lived a good life. She was smart - a good kid like her, ain't no doubt in my mind she landed on her feet.

"But... yeah, I broke her fuckin' heart. I was selfish, I took advantage of her feelins fa me. I lost the only friend I ever trusted, and if I could change one thing I did up top, ain't no contest. I'd pick that every goddamn time."

[starlitangels]

Good Boy Audios Incorrect Quotes (Part 2)

Faithful: Don't bottle up negative emotions. It's bad for your health

Albus: I know, that's why I bottle up all my emotions, both negative and positive. So it all cancels out!

Faithful: *exchanges concerned look with Devlin* T-that's... not how it works.

•••

Odin: You know, when I first met you, I did not like you

Ulysses: I'm aware of that

Odin: But then we spent more time together

Ulysses: Uh-huh.......?

Odin: It did not get better

•••

The Guardian: You know, one of the reasons I live 914 miles from civilization is that I’m kind of allergic to other people’s drama

•••

Albus, after getting a hold of the cursed sword: Due to personal reasons I will be going completely off the f^&*ing rails

•••

Just a Head!Pandora: Can't you try and see things from my perspective?

Odin: Okay *sits on the floor*

Pandora: Listen here, you little sh!+—

•••

Albus: I've slept so little I can now officially smell colors

Devlin: How are you still alive?

Albus: That's a question I ask myself every day

•••

Odin: I have the right to remain silent!

Pandora: Yes, you have the right to remain silent

Pandora: What you Lack is the Capacity

Odin:

Odin:

Odin:

•••

Albus: Love is a weakness and an evolutionary mistake

Devlin: You're... literally making a Valentine's Day card for the sister right now

Albus: *points hot glue gun at him threateningly* You're on thin f*^&ing ice, Vinny

•••

Ulysses: You're stupid

Odin: That's it?

Ulysses: Give it time. It'll eat at you

*Later*

Odin: Am I stupid?

Pandora: Yeah, a little

Odin: Damn him

•••

The Guardian: I've never been in a snowball fight before. I don't know the rules

Zed: What?

The Guardian: Like, is there a point system or is it to the death?

Zed: WHAT?!

(also Albus and Faithful)

•••

Devlin: I am telling you, go to a healer!

Albus: I'm sorry, is this OUR stab wound? Stay out of it

Devlin: Fine. I'm calling the sister

Albus: Wait no—

•••

Fenrir: What do you think Odin will do for a distraction?

Pandora: I dunno. Probably, like, make a noise. Throw a rock. That's what I would do.

Ulysses: Probably

*building explodes, triggering several alarms*

Pandora: ... ... ... Or he could... do that...

•••

Albus: Dating tip! Hold the door for your date. Rip the door off its hinges. Then use the door as a weapon to fight off other suitors. Establish your dominance—

Devlin: I’m beginning to see why you’re still single

Faithful: No, no. Let him finish

•••

Yargwynn: I need you

Paradise: For?

Yargwynn: Ever

•••

Albus: Is four a lot?

Devlin: Depends on the context

Devlin: Dollars? No

Devlin: Murders? Yes

•••

Paradise: I am at a loss for words!

Yargwynn, narrating: Despite being at a loss for words, my paradise continued to lecture me for 25 minutes

•••

Devlin: Albus, did you do something stupid?

Albus, covered in blood: I think we both know the answer to that

•••

Paradise: I made you a friendship bracelet!

Kalamos: I'm not really a jewelry person...

Paradise: You don't have to wear it if you don't wa--

Kalamos: No. I'm wearing it forever. Back off!

•••

Odin: Ulysses sent me a Get Better Soon card

Tyr: That's nice

Odin: I'm not sick. He just thinks I can do better

•••

Yargwynn: I win

Paradise: I have you pinned to the ground

Yargwynn: I know

Paradise:

(also Albus and Faithful hopefully)

•••

Albus: I may not be your cup of tea but I am your tenth shot of tequila

•••

Yargwynn: Do you think when butterflies are in love they get humans in their stomach?

Paradise: Yargwynn. Darling. Honey. Love of my life. What the F^&* ?!

•••

Makkaro, provoking the Guardian: This is either the best idea I've ever had, or the worst. Stay tuned!

•••

Yargwynn: Alright now, everyone, pay attention. I have an announcement to make and I only have a minute

Paradise: Why, are you in a hurry?

Yargwynn: No. I was referring to all of your relatively short attention spans

•••

Pandora: How long are we gonna stand here and just let him do that?

Odin: Just... give me a minute. This is the most fun I've had in years

Ulysses: *pushing a door that clearly says 'Pull'*

[candied-boys]

@stardazzler thank you so much for coming out of hiding to ask about Luke 😭 he's my bestest boi everrrrr

So I'll give you a summary of everything I can recall from the "My fiancee has turned into a kid and she's got me wrapped around her finger" event below the cut

So Luke walks in on a kid facing off with chevalier in a staring contest when suddenly she bursts out in tears.

Luke: "wtf bro? Whadya do to the kid?"

Chev: nothing. Hmph.

Luke: who are you and where'd you come from anyway?

Emma: I'm emma! And I dunno. I just woke up in the palace? Maybe this is a dream.

Luke: huh.. yeah a dream. Okay I can buy that. The fact that you look just like my gf and have the same name definitely has dream written all over it...

Luke: So what did the big meanie do, bb? What's wrong?

Emma: the book!

Luke: Book? What book?

Emma: I wanna see the book...

Chev: hands over book and walks away with a big hrmph.

Insert Clavis and Jin!!!

Clavis: is that Luke's secret love child?!

Jin: oh!!! Can we call him papa Luke now? I wanna be papa Jin 😎

Luke: oh fml.... Not these two... They are the absolute worst influence a kid could ever have!!!! Mr pranks and mr only-eats-candy. Oh no. They are not getting within an inch of this kid!!!

Luke: you see those two, bb emma?

Emma: yeah?

Luke: take a good look cuz if you ever see guys like that, RUN. got it?

Emma: Run. Got it. 🫡🫡🫡

Jin + clavis: 😰😰😰😰😰😰😰🤡🤡🤡🤡🤡😢😢😢😢😢😢🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠🫠

(Safely) Back at Luke's room...

Luke: so what's this book about anyway? *Reads cover* ECONOMICS?!?!

Emma: Will you read it to me 😍😍😍

Luke: wouldn't you rather I read you a nice story about a bear that loves honey or something??

Emma: no i wanna read that one!!!

Luke: why....

Emma: because it looks cool 😎

Luke: hoooboyyyy... Okay then...

Luke: so you see, you have to use the country's finances wisely. You can't just spend the money as you like.

Emma: oh!!! 😍😍😍😍 Why not?

Luke: well you see... I love honey. So I would spend all the money on building lots of shops that sell honey. What would happen then?

Emma: the city would be a mess of honey!! 😍😍😍

Luke: Yeah!!! Heaven for me, but what about the people who don't like honey? How would they feel?

Emma: oh I think they wouldn't like it 🥺

Luke: yup, that's why you have to think carefully about how to make everyone happy when spending money for the kingdom

Emma: wow you sure are smart, mister!! Like a Prince!!!! 😍😍😍😍

Mmmm i forget exactly what happens here but maybe he's like cuz I am a prince :p

Emma: OMG A REAL PRINCE?! LIKE THE KIND IN FAIRY TAILS!!!!

Luke: yup

Emma: I KNOW ALL ABOUT BEING A PRINCE 😍 THEY GO TO PARTIES!!!!!!!!!

Luke: oh yeah?

Emma: yeah yeah!!! And dance!!! And wear fancy clothes!!!!!!! 😍😍😍😍 I wanna go to a party and get dressed up!!!!!!!!

Luke: maybe when you're a bit bigger

Emma: like this big *stands on tippy toes*

Luke: more like this big *holds hand out to gf Emma's real height*

Emma: :((((((( I'll never be that tall

Luke: sure you will someday

Nokto: *pops in*

Luke: oh thank god it's only Nokto... He's not great with kids but at least he's no harm 😮‍💨

Nokto: yeah we gotta go buddy. Also what's with the brat?

Luke: dunno. She just showed up so I'm keeping her safe from the two troublemakers

Nokto: right then 🫤 welp, party isn't gonna wait for us. Let's go

Emma: A PARTYYY?!?!!! I WNANNA GOOOOO TOOOO 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💗💗💗

Luke: sorry bb, but you're missing the one thing you need in order to go to a party...

Emma: an invitation? 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Luke: yeah... An invitation 😢😢

Emma: 😥😥😥😥😥

Luke: hey emma, I gotta go to work now, but if you're a real good girl and stay right here, I'll do your hair up all pretty like you're going to a party, okay?

Emma: REALLY?! you promise, mister? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

Luke: promise, and maybe I'll even be able to get you an invite to the next party.

Emma: 😍😍😍😍😍 okay I'll be a good girl and stay right here and read this book!!! *Climbs back on bed and looks at book in fascination*

Luke: there is absolutely no way she understands a word of that.. but oh well 乁⁠(⁠ ⁠•⁠_⁠•⁠ ⁠)⁠ㄏ as long as she's entertained. Gotta ask the maids to keep an eye on her while I'm out tho...

Luke: *walking down the hall to the party* Leyla... :(

Nokto: you ok bud?

Luke: :/ meh

After Party.... Luke returns to his room to find EMMA IS MISSING!!!!!!!

*insert panicked Luke who finds emma in the kitchen with the two troublemakers*

Luke: *about to rawr at his brothers*

Emma: *sniffle sniffle* 😭😭😭

Clavis and Jin: Don't cry!!! We can make another batch!!! *Absolute panic* 😱😱😱😱😱😱

Luke: !!!!! 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 *Picks up emma and huggles her* the fuck?!?! What did you do to her!!!????

Clavis and Jin: NOTHING 😰😰😰😰😰 WE SWEAR!!!!

Luke: THEN WHY IS SHE CRYING?!!!!! 😡😡😡😡😡😡😡

Emma: the cookies 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Luke: the cookies? What cookies bb? 😰😰

Emma: the cookies didn't turn out well!!!

Luke: we can get you more cookies bb. Anything you want!! Please don't cry 🥺🥺

Emma: noooo not the same!

Luke: 😰😰😰😰😡😡😡😡

Emma: because I wanted to make the cookies for you 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

Luke: 😳😳😳😳🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹

Clavis and Jin: told you we didn't do anything wrong 😮‍💨😮‍💨 we were just trying to help the kid out 🙄🙄🙄

Later when Emma falls asleep after the maids give her a nice bath 🫧

Luke: Hey Jin, is it wrong to forget or is it a good thing?

Jin: I think it means you're growing up. You're moving forward, so naturally things in the past get farther away. It's not a bad thing, just a fact of life.

Luke: I guess you're right... I feel bad that I thought of Emma first when I saw her and not Leyla... I guess that means I'm not trapped in the past anymore, but still...

I think it basically ends here and picks up in the epilogue, which I will translate tomorrow

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗