#I drew all of these on my iPad and that made me realize just how much I HATE drawing on my iPad

[all-my-ocs-are-evil]

Guess who got dragged into another fandom 👀

At first it was just fanart. Then all of a sudden I was reading multiple fics a day and thinking up aus and hcs

Anyways here are some doodles.

[saintobio]

daddy’s little devils.

when dealing with not only one, but two mini versions of your husband is a type of chaos you never saw coming. but with him by your side, there’s nothing else in life you could’ve ever wished for.

pairings. ryōmen sukuna, fem!reader genre. domestic fluff, slice of life, explicit smut cw. dilf!sukuna, profanity, explicit smut, mommy/daddy kink, breeding kink, fellatio, spitting, unprotected, creampie, 18+ notes. 4.5k. just bcos i had to write dilf!sukuna version of this fic. enjoy >:D i was smiling throughout writing this! reblogs are highly appreciated!

Sukuna as a husband was unexpectedly romantic. Despite his cold and indifferent demeanor towards others, sometimes bordering on snarky and arrogant, he displayed a surprisingly soft side when it came to you. A really, really soft and incredibly clingy side, one where he always wants you by his side and becomes grumpy the moment you leave him alone for even a few minutes, claiming and whining about how you no longer love him. That was a hidden facet of his personality that no one else knew, a side that made him appear submissive to his wife rather than the other way around. 

But to be honest, you loved that about him. You absolutely, with all your heart and soul, adored that about him. 

However, Sukuna as a father was quite the mischief-maker. And having to deal with three versions of him in your life certainly didn’t make things any easier. 

“Ryomen Sukuna… your sons,” you exclaimed, your voice tinged with exhaustion as you burst through the front door, “are a menace.”

Your husband was lounging on the sofa when you came home, an iPad in hand, watching as you kicked off your shoes and juggled with your bag and the twins’ belongings.

“Hey, baby,” he regarded you with a bemused expression. “What did they do this time?”

You didn’t even know where to begin. In all honesty, the question should have been: what did they not do?

“Ugh! My head hurts.” As soon as you released the bags onto the floor, you sank onto the couch, frustration evident in your visage as you ran a hand through your hair. “Raiden stabbed a classmate in the back with a crayon,” you recounted in disbelief, “And Ryuji drew your ‘tattoos’ all over himself with the teacher’s marker.”

Right on cue, the two little devils—his twin boys, his exact carbon copies—barreled into the house like the troublemakers they were.  

“Papaaa!” the twins chorused, leaping into their father’s lap the moment they saw him. 

Sukuna’s smirk blossomed into a grin, clearly amused and somewhat proud of his mini-me’s. “Aww, look at my little tattoo artist!” He applauded with amusement as he carried one twin on his lap. “That’s awesome, Ryuji!” Then, he turned to Raiden, who awaited his praise as well. “And Raiden, Mama said you stabbed someone? I bet your classmate was being a jerk, huh? Good job!”

The twins and their father bonded over the mischief, with Sukuna ridiculously acting as an instigator rather than reprimanding them. Just when you thought things couldn’t get worse. Was he actually entertained with this whole ordeal?  Jesus. You shot Sukuna a glare, finding the situation far from amusing. And as soon as he caught sight of your serious expression, his face softened into an apologetic stance, silently mouthing the word, ‘sorry’.

“Ryo, stop monkeying around,” you stated firmly, crossing your arms. “They’re causing trouble, and you do realize I had to endure a lecture about their unacceptable behavior, right?”

Only when he noticed the genuine concern in your voice did he shift his tone slightly, though you could see a hint of playfulness remaining. With your husband clearing his throat and adjusting in his seat, it seemed like he was merely putting on a show of being a ‘strict dad’ in front of you, while secretly shooting winks at his sons as if to say he was just playing around.

“Alright, alright,” he began putting on an act, addressing his twins, “You two are grounded. Go to your rooms. Now.”

Instead of showing any fear, the twins giggled as they dashed out of the living room without a care in the world—their tiny footsteps echoing all over the house as they ran recklessly. They didn’t even listen when you shouted at them to be careful. And now you couldn’t help but cross your arms, clearly dissatisfied with how your husband handled the situation in jest.

“Baby, come on,” he coaxed, drawing you closer and enveloping you in his strong embrace. You could feel his chin resting on your shoulder as he placed a kiss on your cheek. “I understand your frustration. They’re naughty when they want to be. But you have to admit, they’re showing some… initiative.”

Raising an eyebrow, you watched as he struggled to suppress a laugh at his own words. “Initiative? They’re supposed to be learning how to share and play nice, not how to terrorize their classmates!”

“Right, right. Of course,” he murmured, attempting to ease the tension with a gentle massage on your shoulders. “I understand. I’ll have a talk with them, mommy. Let’s not get angry now.”

The dilemma here was your desire to maintain the facade of a strict mom, to avoid the embarrassment of picking up your kids from daycare for causing yet another trouble. You loathed the judgmental stares from other parents, the silent accusation that you and your husband weren’t disciplining your children properly. It was as if they viewed you as terrible parents. Like you didn’t raise your kids right. 

At first, their opinions didn’t bother you; after all, they knew nothing about your family beyond the PTA meetings you’ve had to attend. But time and time again, after having to offer countless apologies to the parents of your sons’ classmates and the teachers who had to deal with them, their scrutiny was starting to get into your head—that perhaps you weren’t as strict as you thought. Perhaps you were too lenient. Perhaps you needed to assert your authority over your children so they’d learn to listen to you.

Yet, despite your resolve, you couldn’t resist the charm of your twins. They were just too adorable for their own good. And, well, their dad wasn’t exactly lacking in the charm department either.

With a sigh, you leaned against his chest. “I just want them to grow up to be good, not little terrors.”

Sukuna tenderly lifted your chin, planting a soft, affectionate kiss on your lips. “I promise, they’ll turn out great. Let’s not be too hard on them.”

~~

You had to acknowledge Sukuna’s efforts and give credit where it’s due. After he had promised to ‘talk’ to the kids, you did notice a marked improvement in their behavior since then. You and your husband used to take turns picking up the twins from daycare, but recently, he had insisted on doing it more frequently than you, saying that as his latest project had been completed, he now had more available time to pick up the twins after work.

You suspected the real reason behind his request was to alleviate your stress from constantly dealing with your sons’ antics. Knowing him, Sukuna also wanted to gauge the current atmosphere at the school by having conversations with the teachers and other parents to ensure there were no issues like bullying or other serious matters. 

With that solution in place, Raiden and Ryuji became much less of a handful, and the main reason being the reward system that Sukuna had implemented for the kids, where he promised to buy them expensive toys if they earned stars for good behavior each week.

So that was how it went for the next two weeks. No calls from distressed teachers, no calls from concerned parents. In fact, the twins eagerly showed you their progress and proudly displayed the stars on their hands each time they received them. You couldn’t help but swell with pride at their accomplishments, because as small as they were to some people, they were huge achievements for you and your husband as their supportive parents. 

At least, you could relax for now. With the twins having toned down their mischievous shenanigans, your mind was more at ease. To be fair, they might seem like little devils wherever they went, but when they were peacefully sleeping like they were now on the couch, they appeared as absolute angels in your eyes. 

The living room was bathed in a dim light, with the glow of the TV screen illuminating their cute, little faces as they snuggled up together on the couch, in their peaceful slumber sandwiched between you and your husband. They had dozed off before the movie ended, and now, with the credits rolling, your family movie night concluded earlier than expected.

“My precious babies,” you cooed in a hushed voice, gently stroking Ryuji’s cheek and planting a kiss on Raiden’s nose. Their eyes, their brows, their nose, their lips—every detail was taken from their father, and nothing from you. But you didn’t mind, because you knew just how strikingly handsome they would be when they grow up. “Looks like our little troublemakers couldn’t make it to the end of the movie.” 

Sukuna chuckled softly and glanced down at his sleeping sons with a fond smile. In holding his family close, he could feel that blissful warmth flooding his heart at the sigh of his wife and his kids snuggled together. “They’re tired today. Didn’t even last an hour into watching Megamind.” 

You smiled, carefully rising from the couch so as not to disturb the sleeping twins. The moment you caught your husband’s eye, you gestured for him to lift Raiden into his arms. “Let’s get them to bed.”

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded, scooping up Raiden, while you lifted Ryuji, and together you carried your kids to their room. 

After tucking each twin into bed and giving them a final kiss on the forehead, you motioned for your husband to quietly exit the room with you. He was still adjusting the AC for their comfort before following you out close behind. The lights in their room now completely switched off. 

“They’re out like a light,” Sukuna whispered as both of you made your way towards the master bedroom. 

You stifled a yawn, stretching your arms. “Finally, some peace and quiet.” 

“Nuh-uh,” countered your husband, who was now grinning mischievously as he stopped in his tracks and grabbed you by the waist. “Not so soon, wife.” 

Before you knew it, you were pressed against the wall, a mere few inches outside your bedroom’s door, caged between your husband’s toned arms as he looked down at you like a lion looking at its prey. His animalistic gaze never failed to send you into an orbit of weakness, like always. “H-Hey.” 

A teasing smirk then appeared on his handsome face. “You know, babe, now that the boys are asleep, we could really make good use of this time.” 

“Really, now?” You held back a chuckle, cheeks heating up from the wanton desire on your husband’s eyes. As you crossed your arms and leaned against the wall, you didn’t realize that such action only caused him to go even crazier than he already was. 

“Dammit.” His eyes danced in lust as he stared at your cleavage when you crossed your arms. He had good self-control, too. That was… until he couldn’t resist it anymore. He had to have his hand squeeze one breast gently, fondling the rounded mass like they were his personal stress balls. “Are you ovulating, honey? They look huge.” 

You weren’t sure as it had been while since you tracked it, but your breasts did feel heavier lately. And sore, too, because he was kneading them. “Hmm. I might be expecting my period soon.” 

Very playfully, Sukuna leaned forward to trail kisses along your neck, his warm breath tickling your skin as he spoke, “What do you say we add another one to the bunch?” was his whispered suggestion, “A little girl, maybe? I know a few positions.” 

“Are you serious?” You raised an eyebrow, trying to suppress a laugh. “With these two little devils wreaking havoc, you still want to add more chaos to the mix?” 

His finger was already looping around the strap of your nightgown, pulling it down with a salacious upward curve of his lips. “You know you love the chaos, babe.” You could feel his hands moving to grab a handful of your buttocks, squeezing your bum eagerly. “Plus, imagine all the mischief our little girl could get up to.” 

You couldn’t help it either—the desire, the tension. Not to mention, your husband was looking undeniably hot right now, with the muscles on his chest pressing against yours, making you want nothing but to see him shirtless again. Those toned abs, those muscular arms. God. His lips were also soft and sweet when he pulled you into an open-mouthed kiss 

“You are,” you mumbled in between kisses, breathing heavily against his mouth, “very naughty, mister.” 

You felt him smirking through your kiss before he grabbed your thighs, and lifted you up so you could wrap them around his waist. The kissing, the very intense kissing, with his tongue rolling against yours and you moaning against his mouth, was already as erotic as it could get. When was the last time you two had sex? Last week? You couldn’t remember which specific day it was, but you did recall it being only a quick one in the shower. This time, it definitely wouldn’t be a quickie as he seemed to have plans in giving you a sleepless night. 

Sukuna carefully placed you down in your king-sized bed, pulling his shirt off and once again crawling above you to hungrily meet your lips with his. And did you mention he was a good multitasker?  As he nibbled on your lower lip, breathing you in like you were an addicting drug he couldn’t get enough off, his fingers were also rubbing your clothed entrance, pulling your underwear to the side to touch your moist cunt. 

“Mhmm—!”

Two fingers entered you without warning, and he pulled away from the kiss to look at the face you were making as he used his digits to find your sweet spot. “You’re so fuckin’ hot, Y/N.” 

You arched your back, spreading your legs wide open to give him full access to your core. The moment he was able to reach your g-spot, you could feel your lower abdomen coiling from the intense wave of pleasure that was coursing through your body. “Nghh—yes, daddy. That’s it!” 

A few more pumps, hard and fast, had you gasping for air like a fish out of the ocean. He seemed to have loved the sight too, as he kept his dark, sultry eyes fixed on you while he fingered you like there was no tomorrow. “You’re one hot mama, aren’t you?” he asked, withdrawing his fingers and sucking on them to taste your slick. “Can I fuck your mouth, baby?”

“‘Mmkay,” you answered, pulling yourself up to help him rid himself of his pajamas. The sight of his bulge—his big, angry bulge—made you all the more excited. You had seen him many times before and knew just how huge his member could grow when aroused, but it still didn’t change the fact that seeing his fully erect cock surprised you every single time. Because it was thick, it was long, it was meaty, it was veiny. “Gosh, lovey. You’re huge.” 

He obviously liked hearing that. Not only did you inflate his ego, it also made him desire you even more as he positioned his shaft on your face, pulling your hair into a ponytail. “Open your mouth.” 

Like a good girl, you did as told. And your eyes went wide as he forced his cock inside, thrusting balls deep in and out of your mouth. He was doing it roughly to the point where your eyes pooled with tears because your gag reflex kept on fighting back. You couldn’t even taste him properly because your saliva was coating his entire length, but you couldn’t stop yourself from smiling in satisfaction as you watched your husband throw his head back from the utmost pleasure of being inside your mouth. 

“Ah, fuck. Fuck.” He cussed multiple times, jostling his hips before pulling his member out. “Your mouth’s so warm.” 

For a moment, you replaced your mouth with your hand, an elbow propped on the other as you stroked his girthy length. You jacked him off at the pace you knew he preferred, and placed your tongue flat on the swollen pink head like it was a lollipop. You were kissing the tip with your eyes staring back at him, ultimately driving him into insanity. “Like that, daddy?” 

“Fuck yes,” he grunted, his vulgar thoughts now consuming his actions as he grabbed your chin up, only to then spit in your mouth. “I’m gonna get you pregnant tonight,” he declared in a deep, raspy voice, “Gonna fill up that pretty little pussy with my cum.” 

Damn, he’s serious about it? 

As embarrassing as it may sound, you could feel your pussy clenching from his lewd words. “You want a baby girl for real?” 

Your husband lowered himself down to meet your level, undressing you impatiently like a rabid dog who was ready to bite its victim. And in your naked glory, he then spread your legs apart and rubbed his shaft in between your labia. “I do,” he said, puppy eyes hoping for you to say yes, “I want a baby girl, please. Please. Please.” 

Could you even resist this man? 

You gave him an answer by nodding, holding your smile by biting your lower lip as you watched your silly husband reach through the nightstand in search of the lube. Because he was too crazed with excitement, a couple packs of unused condoms fell out of the drawer as he grabbed the strawberry-colored tube. 

“Take it easy. Jeez,” you teased. 

“You’re driving me nuts here.” 

You decided to tease him even more by touching yourself, your fingers doing circular motions on your clit as your husband coated his entire length with the water-based lube. The smell of artificial strawberry permeated through the air, and with it being your favorite scent, you felt more stimulated than ever. “Mmm. I want you inside me now, lovey.” 

“What mommy wants, mommy gets,” he joked, manhandling both your legs into placing it above his shoulders and putting you into his favorite position. The classic missionary. “Ah, shit.” He buried his member agonizingly slow. “Why… are… you so damn tight tonight?” 

Maybe because you were clenching around his cock, squeezing his angry member with your velvet walls and giving him that extra good grip he always went absolutely wild for. “A-Aah! Y-You love it.” 

“Fuck, yeah.” He began thrusting now. Using his thumb to spread your slit apart, he delighted in seeing his cock go in and out of your entrance, watching the full length be swallowed by your cavern entirely. And he was going from slow and sensual, to rough and fast in less than a minute. 

He was just far too deep inside. Now, you were losing hold on your sanity as with every jostle of your body, your insides were also reacting more and more violently with your knees and thighs shaking. The skin slapping sounds were bouncing across the room, and you were hoping, praying, that your soundproof walls worked well enough not to wake your innocent twins. Because at this rate, you were going to squirt all over their father. It had been sometime since you felt the need to pee during intercourse, but that also speaks of just how intense Sukuna was plowing his hardened cock inside of you. 

“D-Daddy, I… I’m…” 

He attached his mouth on your right tit, playing his tongue around the nipple. “Mhm… You’re so sexy, mommy.” 

Two little boys. And your husband still won’t stop until he gets his little girl. 

Your mind was a whirlwind that night. The events that followed became such a blur because your pleasure overpowered your ability to think straight. All you could remember was Sukuna releasing his warm load into your womb after chasing his climax, and immediately after, he had your body twisted around and positioned into what he refers ‘the undefeated’ doggy style. 

Gosh, he was telling the truth when he said he was going to fuck you all night with no breaks in between. 

Because now, you were on all fours, being pounded from behind as you had your hands gripping the sheets each time he propelled his body forward. He was shoving his cock from behind like it was his day job, already familiar with the perfect angle and depth in which he had to rut you in. With his hands holding your hips in place, he raised one leg on the mattress, and the other knee still intact, to fuck you senseless. 

“Mmm—Aah! Haah!” 

The deeper he penetrated you, the lower your upper body went. You were now in a position with your chest down low, and your ass up high so that he could see your hole in a much, much better view. “You think you can take ‘nother round after this, babe?” he asked, breathless as he reached forward to squeeze your tit. “I don’t wanna push your limits.” 

“I-I don’t t-think I c-can…”

You could hear his deep chuckle despite your frenzied state, and soon enough, he was increasing the speed of his thrusts once more, cursing and moaning while doing so, before shooting thick ropes of seed inside your cunt. 

He collapsed next to you right after that, while you were completely limp in labored breaths as you lay beside him. The feeling of his semen dripping out of your pussy had you reaching for your husband’s arm, pointing towards the box of tissue with your half-lidded eyes. You were too sore to move. 

Sukuna immediately got the cue. “I got it,” he said, pecking your lips before doing the task of wiping the mess on your body. And as soon as he was able to clean you off, he quickly went back beside you, pulling you into a sweet, husbandly embrace. “Good night, beautiful.” 

You hummed in your drowsy state, his chest becoming the perfect pillow for your head to sleep on. “Night, night, handsome.” 

~~

Good lord was his body sore. 

But was that the greatest fucking sex he has ever had? Hell yes. It was so good that he even dreamed of it. 

As the morning sun streamed through the curtains, the aftermath of your passionate night was evident in the tousled sheets and sleepy smiles that you both had that morning. He still had you in his arms, your body secured around his as he pressed his lips into your temple. 

“Good morning, my love.” 

You stirred awake, blinking sleepily as you stretched beneath the warmth of the covers. He could tell you were still groggy from last night’s events, and he was a hundred percent certain that you were also too sore to walk. “Morning, lovey.” 

But before he could savor the domestic moment with you, the bedroom door burst open, and a fully awakened Raiden and Ryuji came in with their energy back at 100%. Oh, boy. Sukuna just had to forget locking the door last night. 

Raiden, in his polka pjs, was jumping up and down excitedly. “Mama! Papa! Wake up!” 

He was joined by his twin brother, Ryuji, who was in his striped pajamas, skipping around the room. “We want pancakes, pwease!” 

Sukuna could feel you stiffening next to him, and he saw the look of panic in your eyes upon realizing that you were very much naked under the sheets. So, hastily and frantically, your beloved husband pulled the duvet, covering your chest from being exposed and hoping to conceal any tell-tale marks. 

“Shh! Keep it down, boys,” he reprimanded the twins, “Mama and Papa are still sleeping.”

The stubborn Ryuji placed his hands on his hips. “But you’re awake, Papa!” 

On the other hand, Raiden, who climbed the king-sized bed, was pointing towards his mother. “Mama, what’s on your shoulder?” 

At the sight of the marks, Sukuna’s eyes widened in alarm and his cheeks were limned with a crimson hue. His mind raced for a plausible explanation because those exact bruises on your shoulder were, in fact, hickeys. So before you could speak, he took it upon himself to handle the matter. “That... It’s, uh, a battle wound.” He mentally kicked himself for such a ridiculous lie. “Mama’s very brave, you see. She fought off a giant mosquito last night.”

You stifled a laugh, burying your face into the pillow for a moment, and later deciding to play along. “That’s right,” you agreed, nodding seriously. “Mama’s a warrior.”

Raiden and Ryuji, however, were too smart for this as the twins exchanged skeptical glances, clearly not buying their parents' explanation. And with Raiden being the more vocal one, he pointed it out first. “But why does it look like a bunch of tiny kisses?”

Sukuna struggled now, and while he was still thinking of another excuse, you finally stepped in to try and save the day. 

And thank the heavens, you handled it a lot more casually than he did. “It’s a secret,” you said, smiling at your kids, “Mama and Papa have a secret game they play sometimes. Right, Papa?”

Your husband quickly joined in on your little antic. “That’s right, it’s a secret game! But it’s only for grown-ups,” he clarified to the curious twins, who were clearly intrigued by this mysterious ‘game’. “You two aren’t old enough to play yet.”

The twins exchanged curious glances, their skepticism giving way to fascination. “Okay,” Raiden said slowly, still pondering the explanation. Ryuji just shrugged, accepting it more readily. 

Only then did Sukuna breathe a silent sigh of relief as he was grateful for your quick thinking. But with children like these two, the interrogation was clearly far from over because Ryuji decided to make things even more complicated when he picked up an unused packet of condom on the floor, its bright red color attracting his interest. “Mama, is this candy?” asked your son, pointing to the strawberry logo, “Can I have it?” 

“No, sweetheart, that’s not candy,” you softly spoke. The composure in your voice was outstanding. Sukuna should definitely learn a thing or two from you. “Give it to Mama.” 

And while you dealt with the other twin, Raiden jumped out of bed and tugged at his father’s arm persistently. “Papa, pancakes!” he demanded, throwing a tantrum as he chanted. “Pancakes! Pancakes! We want pancakes!” 

“Okay, okay!” The father sighed inwardly, shooting you a look for help as if he was their slave for the day. All you could do was chuckle and mouth ‘you got this’ back to him. Well, he didn’t have much of a choice, did he? “Coming right up, you little monsters.” 

“Yayy!” 

“Woohoo!” 

You, barely handling the noise at six in the morning, groaned playfully next to your husband. “See? Having another kid isn’t as easy as you think,” you told him, “We can barely handle these two.” 

Sukuna displayed a grin, running a hand through his hair as he looked at his wife and your little ones. “Boys, do you want a baby sister? Yes or yes?” 

Raiden and Ryuji, in unison, answered giddily. “Yes! We want a baby sister!” 

A look of defeat clouded your eyes, while your husband laughed and kissed your forehead. “You heard them, love,” he reminded, softly, “I want my baby girl soon.” 

He knew that, despite your playful protest, having a daughter was a shared desire. “Fine.” 

So in swift movements, your husband slipped into his pants beneath the covers, then got out of bed to scoop up the twins in his arms. “Alright, breakfast time you two!” he announced, heading towards the door with his sons cheering together. And just before leaving, he cast one last tender smile in your direction. 

“I love you, Y/N. Chaos and all.” 

[love---mandy]

Alright so I was looking at all the Katakuri art I’ve done over the years, and I’ve realized just how much I haven’t shown on here. A lot of it is cause I feel like these don’t warrant their own post, or I would put them in my story on Instagram and would promptly forget about them. They range from silly sketches, to complete self indulgence so there’s a lot of my artist sona in these. I’ll also be adding a bit of context to what was goin on when I drew them.

First up is a silly one, I drew this around the same time as my last self indulgent Yamato, it was just him on his own at first, and then Katakuri joined in.

This one is also on the newer side, I was thinking about which characters I would want to serve me at a Hooters, and they were among the ones chosen, most of the characters aren’t from One Piece so I leave them out of this post.

I tried to do a Mer-May Katakuri, like 3ish years ago, but I didn’t like it, I think he only made it onto Twitter at the time. The right one is really old, it’s from when I first got my iPad like 4 years ago. I was just playin around with a modern AU type thing, but wasn’t sure how to include his scars so I guess I just left them out???

Just a random thing of his mouth ripping, I think this was a Goretober concept but I simply do not remember

A varsity jacket design that I wanna make real but don’t even know where to start.

So I really do like this one, if y’all remember the cup noodle commercials where they’re all in highschool there’s a frame in the Zoro one where you can see Katakuri in the background so of course I had to draw us going to school together.

And that’s all I can fit in one post so I’ll be making a part 2.

[rosypenguins]

Hello again. I’m back with another delusional prediction: his entire fucking backstory lets do this! (I want to see how much I can get right before S2 drops.) (And I also realize I talk a lot about Drew’s backstory anyways, so might as well just outline all my thoughts here!)

Obviously, we know Drew’s parents are rich. It’s the thing he brags about constantly. So I imagine his parents have jobs that keep them away from home often. (Either they have to work long hours, or they have to travel.) I also imagine Drew’s an only-child, because… like, he lacks basic communication skills and his empathy’s terrible. All of this points to someone who grew up relatively alone.

So, with Drew’s parents just gone for most of his life, Drew was probably left under the care of nannies they’d hire, and honestly, I feel like Drew probably wouldn’t really want to interact with any of these people. He feels like the kind of kid who just locked himself away in his room and went on his iPad. (YOU CANNOT TELL ME DREW WASN’T AN IPAD KID I WILL NOT BELIEVE YOU-)

So these nannies pretty much made sure he got to school, ate, and went to bed. They didn’t actually engage with him much beyond that. (Unless like he was actively acting up or something.) And if they tried, Drew would probably be a little brat and leave. (Also I imagine that he’d only have the same nanny for a few weeks to a few months before his parents hired someone else.)

When Drew’s parents were around, they were pretty neglectful. They wouldn’t really engage unless Drew actively made an effort. (Which was rare at best.) They were very professional, and emotionally distant. Drew was always shut down whenever he was upset, and he was likely either yelled at or ignored whenever he cried. I like to imagine he’s parents probably have more traditional values, such as men always having to be strong and whatnot. It was considered weakness to cry, or display any strong emotions really. (I’m pretty sure it’s confirmed that Drew has a toxic masculinity mindset, which would explain a lot about his behavior, and how he instinctively resorts to anger to express his emotions.)

Drew was always told he had to be strong, and he wasn’t supposed to cry. And eventually, he stopped crying, because he knew it wouldn’t get him anything, and it’d only be a sign of weakness: something he was supposed to be.

Hell, the only real way Drew could even tell that his parents cared about him was how they’d buy him stuff. They’d buy him anything he wanted, they just never gave him their time. (Which is why he’s always buying stuff for his friends because it’s all he knows how to do.)

I don’t think Drew really understood why his parents were never around, at least for a while. He probably just assumed they didn’t want him or something. Or he wasn’t worth more than their time was.

Needless to say, I think Drew was a pretty problematic child in Elementary school. I imagine he’d be pretty defiant of authority, and pretty argumentative too. (All just lashing out because of the lack of attention he receives at home.) (Also in an attempt to gain control over something.)

But Drew eventually mellowed out, and just accepted how his life was. And I’m just gonna mention here too, Drew definitely has an insecure attachment style. Without a consistent parental figure giving him attention, and with how little he had control over in his early life, I feel like he’d developed a disorganized attachment style. (Being a combination of avoidant and anxious. He wants to keep people close, but he’s also terrified of someone else leaving him so he’d rather just keep his distance sometimes.) (He needs therapy BAD.)

Anyways, I feel when Drew was around 12 or so, his parents probably figured he’d be old enough to take care of himself, which at this point Drew just does not care anymore. He locks himself away in his room anyways, what difference would it make? His parents just gave him his own card so he could buy himself anything he needed. (This basically left Drew home alone for a majority of his life. He’d sometimes catch them late at night after work or early before work, or sometimes not at all because they’re traveling meaning he’d be alone for several days at a time.)

And I definitely feel Drew resents his parents for having him and never being around for him, but he tells himself it made him independent, and it gave him realistic expectation of what the worlds like. (In reality all his parents gave him is attachment issues, abandonment issues, and a shit-ton of cash.)

Anyways, as stated before Drew probably gained a reputation for being a problematic child in Elementary school, and maintained this reputation even when he started mellowing out and focusing more in school. So Middle School became his ‘fresh start’. (WHICH IS WHY HE TOLD JAKE THAT IN EPISODE 9-)

As per his parents demand, Drew enrolled in Honors courses. (That was probably one of the only things they really cared about honestly: his grades.) And he started building a better reputation for himself, making friends with cooler students and picking on others to make him feel better about himself.

But these friends he had were all based around being cool. Drew had to fit with them, and if he slipped up he’d probably be no better than the people he bullied. (Middle School’s a lawless land.)

And from the Comic Episode it’s sort of implied Drew didn’t go to Middle School with Henry or Liam, so I’m gonna assume they met sometime in High School.

And I think a reason Drew became friends with these two absolute losers is because they weren’t really all that cool. They’re just two goofballs, so Drew probably didn’t have to worry about being cool around them. (Same goes for why he hangs out with Jake, too.) He’s friends with them all because he’s not really too concerned about appearing cool. He can slip up now and then and know it won’t result in anything. And they make him look cooler by comparison-

(I also like the idea that Drew dropped the Honors classes he’d been taking sometime in Sophomore or Junior year just to be with his friends. I like to think he had to argue with his parents for a while just so they’d let him.)

My final note is on Jake. Drew- Drew has a crush on him. That’s simply canon. (Trust me guys it’s gonna be confirmed in S2 I promise-) So he gets really possessive and controlling because he doesn’t want Jake to leave like everyone else in his life did. He doesn’t want Jake to abandon him, so he will do anything in his power to prevent that.

So that’s all I got for the backstory. Now to talk about the affects.

So because Drew’s parents were never around, he probably had this complex he isn’t really worth much. Otherwise, why wouldn’t they find more time for him? And because he never really felt love as a child, he struggles to find worth in himself. He’s unable to find happiness in himself because he was never taught how to love himself. (And it’s hard to love yourself if you feel like no one loves you.) So his only source of happiness is his friends. (I’ve done a separate post about this topic but essentially Drew is co-dependent because they’re his only escape from his loneliness and self-hatred.)

And as another way to cope with his problems, Drew brags about his possessions and picks on others constantly. It’s a way to make himself to look better than others. To make himself seem like someone worthwhile.

And because Drew cannot love himself, he finds ways to be wanted. To be needed, to be worth something.

Which is why he spends thousands on his friends. Not only is it the only way he knows how to show his love, it’s also how he knows he’s needed. If he can buy his friends anything they want, why would they ever leave him? They’d have no reason to.

It’s why he kinda lets Zoey walk all over him in their relationship. It’s why he so casually buys Jake a laptop and a literal Switch. It’s all so they still need him. And all he wants in exchange is their care.

So when Zoey cheats and Jake lies, it crumbles his very worldview. He thought they needed him. He thought they cared. But to him, it was all a lie. And it all circles back to him feeling worthless and useless all over again.

TDLR: Drew’s parents neglected him for a majority of Drew’s life and he desperately needs therapy because of it. And he has depression probably. And at least like 5 of his problems could’ve been solved with a hug and simple reassurance.

[americaswritings]

Chocolates

Warnings: period talk

Summary: You're on your period and Neil offers you a little comfort when he sees you're having a bad day.

Words: 2.2k

Pairing: Neil Melendez x Doctor!reader

A/N: It's ridiculous how much time I wasted searching for a gif and still ending up unsatisfied. But for some reason when I search for gifs on tumblr for my writing I just get reaction memes these days. It's so annoying! Anyway, this was requested. I hope you like it and it's the way you imagined :) I really want to write more again, because it felt so good to just sit down and start typing, but life is so busy at the moment and both my physical and mental health aren't so great too! Hopefully it will all get better soon :)

You should have known it would be ‘one of those days’ when you walked into work with a belly ache, but you didn’t think much of it, hoping if you just ignored it the pain would eventually go away.

Only it didn’t. Instead it got worse, spreading into your lower back and making it hard to keep standing. All you wanted to do was sit or lie down and not move anymore, perhaps even curl over until the pain faded.

But you were on shift, the ER was buzzing and the hospital was understaffed. Sighing you grabbed the next patient’s file, scanning it quickly as you made your way over to where he was seated. Too late you realized someone was crossing your way and you bumped right into them, startling at the unexpected contact.

“Sorry!” You took a step back and glanced up at the man dressed in the blue scrubs, relieved but also a little nervous to find it was Neil Melendez. The two of you got along well, so well that it made you hope he would eventually ask you out.

But he hadn’t yet and you didn’t have the heart to do it yourself, fearing the humiliation of a rejection since you would have to keep working together.

Neil teased you and he flirted with you, but that didn’t have to mean anything. He was naturally charming. Still you hoped for the moment to come, your heart always losing its steady rhythm for a second when you laid eyes on him.

“It’s nothing.” He smiled at you and you tried to reciprocate it, but a sharp pain in your belly made your face twist in pain instead. “Well, I should get going”, you said once the pain had ebbed a little, but you didn’t make it far as Neil held you back by your elbow.

“You okay?” His brows were knitted and he watched you with a frown, his eyes darting over your face before he locked eyes with you again. You drew in a breath, tensing a little at the proximity and trying to ignore your galloping heart.

“Yeah, I’m fine”, you brushed it off, this time managing a smile. You saw Neil slightly narrow his eyes at you, but before he could say anything else you offered him a nod and hurried away.

-

You had never looked so much forward to your break, the imagination of finally sitting down and eating a meal keeping you going for the rest of the morning. But just as you handed over your last patient’s file, planning to head to the cafeteria, a voice called you back.

It was Dr. Lim. She was marching over to you and you could tell from her face she wanted something from you.

Not now.

“What is it?”, you asked, once she came to stand beside you, not hiding your frustration. The other doctor looked at you surprised, before holding an iPad out to you. “The imaging and report from Mr. Wellington’s CT just came in.”

You let your eyes flicker over it, not finding anything worth this fuss. “And?”, you asked, sounding as impatient as you felt to get held back. “That’s what I thought too”, Audrey continued unbothered, “but then I found this.” She used her fingers to zoom in on it.

“See this shadow?”

You squinted your eyes. “Could be anything.” “Right, but it looks like a small tumour. I already ran a biopsy. The results should be in soon.”

You glanced up at her, waiting for her to come to the point. When she didn’t say more you sighed. “So? Why are you showing me this?”

“Okay-“, Audrey snapped the iPad’ case shut, handing it over to the nurse’s desk, “Someone’s in a mood today!”

You winced under her glare, regretting how harsh you had sounded. It wasn’t her fault you were having a bad day and she didn’t deserve your attitude. “Sorry.”

You closed your eyes and took a deep inhale, trying to push away your annoyance. You really didn’t want to argue with Audrey today. Especially not over something stupid like this.

“It’s just-” You opened your eyes again, gesturing at the busy ER. “-My back is killing me and I have the worst cramps and I just want to lay down and suffer in silence.”

You let out a chuckle at your dramatic words and the way they came out as if they had been at the tip of your tongue only waiting to slip out, which probably wasn’t far from the truth, and Audrey offered you a sympathetic smile. “That time of the month?”

You nodded, surprised that you didn’t feel embarrassed to talk about it with her. Audrey always seemed so strong and unbothered and you couldn’t imagine her whining over a stupid period. But she seemed to know exactly what you were talking about.

“The mood swings are the worst for me. You might know I’m not the most patient person out there-”, you grinned, thinking of the many incidents she had proven what a short temper she coud have, “but during that time? You really don’t want to pick a fight with me then!”

You laughed. It was just too easy to imagine. “I bet Melendez and Andrews have made that mistake.” Audrey’s face lit up. “Oh, trust me they have!” She shook her head, smiling. “And they learn from it.”

“As they should”, you nodded, “at least they don’t have to attempt 12-hour shifts while it feels like their insides get twisted inside-out.”

Audrey laid her hand on your lower arm, squeezing lightly. “Ibuprofen’s your best friend. And if you ever need to take a break and lay down just tell me.”

You felt a lump forming in your throat and you had to will back your tears. Damn hormones! “Thank you.” You hoped she could hear how sincere you were, the thought of having an escape providing you with relief strong enough to give you a little energy back.

“We women have to stick together.” Audrey squeezed your arm again, before retreating and you looked after her for a moment, grateful to have a friend in her.

-

When you had finally made it to the cafeteria, your pager had gone off right as it had been your turn to order. “You can’t be serious”, you muttered as you pulled it out and read it. “Hey, are you going to order or what?”, you heard someone ask behind you, but without another word you took off, praying you would make it to your patient in time.

Luckily you had. But afterwards you had been pulled right into another case and before you knew it, it had grown dark outside and your stomach was growling at you.

The cafeteria was long closed and so you got a chocolate bar from the vending machine, promising yourself to get real food once you were off the clock.

The ER had quietened down as it often did at the end of your shift and since you had never taken your break you allowed yourself a moment to take a breath in the resident’s lounge.

Although you weren’t a resident anymore you still liked to come here. Perhaps it was the closeness to Neil’s office or the quiet it provided at the end of the day when the residents had all gone home. There was no one who could tell you off as you curled up on the sofa.

The chocolate tasted heavily in your mouth and you devoured it until the last crumb. “You look like you just fell in love.”

“Huh?” You glanced up, to find Neil at the door, casually entering the room and coming to stand in front of you.

He gestured towards the wrapper you had placed on the table. “The chocolate.”

Oh. You let out a chuckle as you realized you had stared at it longingly while you had contemplated whether it was reasonable to get up and get another one or if it wasn’t worth the effort it would take to search for a vending machine.

“That was probably the best chocolate I’ve ever had”, you declared and Neil chuckled. “Your standards are very low then.” You tried to look offended but failed. “Don’t speak ill of the vending machines. They are real life savers. And it’s been a tough day.”

You said it lightly, but you saw Neil’s jaw twitch at the last part. “What happened?”

He walked over to where you were sitting and you shuffled to the side to make space for him. He leaned against the armrest, his body angled towards yours. “Nothing I-”

But suddenly tears were clouding your eyes as all the emotions you had bottled up threatened to spill over. “Damn it!” You wiped at your eyes before the tears could spill, feeling your cheeks heat up in embarrassment.

You didn’t need to look at Neil’s face to see the worry on it.

“Sorry”, you let out an embarrassed chuckle and Neil smiled at you softly. “I’m usually not this emotional. It’s been a long day that’s all.”

“You have had longer ones and didn’t bat an eye.” It wasn’t an accusation, only genuine confusion on Neil’s part and your heart swelled at the hidden compliment and how much he cared to understand you.

“Yeah”, you muttered, closing your eyes as another cramp hit you. When you opened them again you hoped your face hadn’t betrayed you and given away your discomfort, but the disadvantage at working so closely together was that Neil could read you by now.

Before he could make any wild guesses, you decided to just tell him the truth.

You didn’t have to be embarrassed about it, shouldn’t feel that way, yet it was easier said than done. You didn’t want him to think you couldn’t take the hardships of the job, that you were weak or dramatic. But even as you thought it you knew Neil would never think that of you.

Or anyone.

He wasn’t like that, wasn’t intimidated by strong willed women or the reality of what it was like to be one.

Taking a long inhale and an even longer exhale you looked up at him. “I got my period this morning and I’ve been in pain all day.” Now that you had gotten the words out you suddenly had the urge to let it all out.

“And my back is like- so bad. But the cramps are the worst. And I snapped at Audrey. And then again at Glassman. And I almost bawled my eyes out when my patient made it out of surgery and his wife came to see him. And this-”, you gestured at yourself, “is the first break I have gotten all day and I don’t think I’m ever gonna stand up again.”

You stared at Neil in shock for a moment as you realized what had just happened, but then you let out a laugh. “Wow and that just came out like one long sentence!”

Neil chuckled in amusement. “That seems like a really crappy day”, he agreed and you nodded in relief that he seemed to take it serious. “Right? I mean, there are worse things, obviously, but still-” You clutched your belly again, letting out a hiss of pain.

When you looked back up Neil had shifted closer to you, his frown back in place. “Why didn’t you call in sick?”

“Really?” You shook your head, amused and a little frustrated. “I can’t just call in sick every month.”

“It’s this bad every month?”

You nodded. “Most of the time, yeah. Sometimes it’s better, other’s it’s worse. But that’s just how it is.”

Neil face twisted, clearly displeased with what you had said or the situation, perhaps both. “It shouldn’t be like that”, he said then and you looked at him for a moment, taking in his sincerity. “I mean, yeah”, you agreed after a moment. “What, you want to change the whole system now?”

Neil’s mouth curled up in the hint of a smile. “Not tonight, no. I have better plans.”

Your face fell a little as you felt a hint of disappointment at his words. Maybe he was just hanging out with friends or visiting his sister you tried to reason. But the thought of him having plans with another woman gnawed at you.

“Really? What could be better than that?”, you asked teasingly and he tipped his head towards you. “Someone needs to show you what real chocolate tastes like.”

Oh. Your hope arose so strongly you almost forgot to breathe for a moment. “And my sofa is even more comfortable than this one.” He patted the couch you were seated on, not breaking eye contact once.

You still looked at him in shock, unable to form words as you processed his. “You’re baiting me with chocolate?”, you asked once the shock had faded a little, cautious not to put too much weight into his words and Neil grinned. “I do give great massages too. I cook. And I have a big movie collection to distract you from, you know, the pain and all that.”

You smiled widely at him. “Now that wins me over”, you stated, although the thought of spending time alone with Neil was already enough. But it didn’t make his promises less appealing. And it made you feel warm inside to know how much he cared and that he had put so much thought into what he could do to make you feel better.

“Great.” He stood up. “So it’s a date?” For the first time he sounded nervous and it made your heart flutter to know it was because of you. That this, whatever it was between you, mattered to him too.

“It’s a date.”

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[notyourjaem]

— CHERRY BLOSSOMS & 7/11 ☆ CSB

summary: soobin is on a break from tour, so you both escape to japan for a few days.

pairing: idol!soobin x gn!reader

genre: fluff

word count: 1.6k

warnings: ehhh none. they are just tooth numbingly sweet.

authors note: can you tell that I’m reeeeeally pushing the soobin sweetheart boyfriend agenda lol. this was kind of inspired by his japan vlog, and I added my own twist with some of my own knowledge of Japan. this reminded me that my Japanese isn’t going to study itself, and soobin if you see this and think you’re slacking, I’m probably slacking harder.

quick links: masterlist | taglist | send a request

–

“I think I’m going to do some things on my iPad. Maybe draw.” You spoke, reaching for your bag that you set onto the floor.

“I might read.” Soobin answered. “I bought a new book a few days ago to read on this flight.”

Soobin was on a break from tour right now, and you both decided it was a perfect time to take a trip to Japan for a few days for some alone time.

The flight wasn’t very long; only two and a half hours. It was roughly an hour in, both you and Soobin keeping yourselves occupied. you were listening to music and doodling on your iPad while soobin was reading his book.

You drew a cute little doodle of Soobin’s hedgehog, Odi as well as a bunny with a carrot. Smiling to yourself at how cute it was, you turned to show Soobin, but realized that he was fast asleep.

His arms were crossed in his lap and his head tilted to the side. You always thought it was cute how his nose sometimes whistled when he was asleep.

“Soob.” You quietly spoke, picking up his book and bookmarking the spot he left off on.

He hummed without opening his eyes, and shifted in the seat.

“You almost lost your spot in your book.” That made him open his eyes, and pick it up.

“I got so tired all of a sudden.” Soobin laughed at himself. “I didn’t sleep good last night. I was too excited.”

“I don’t think I’ve ever slept on a plane.” You answered. “It’s hard for me to get comfortable.”

Soobin tousled his blonde hair, fixing his glasses on the bridge of his nose. He leaned over to look at your iPad. “What are you drawing?”

“Just random things. Look I was going to show you this, but you were asleep.” You pointed to the doodles of Odi and the little bunny.

Soobin’s smile was so big. “Aw, you drew my Odi! I miss him.”

He swiped through your other drawings. One of a plant, two cats, but then he stopped on one that was a cartoonish drawing of a boy with blonde hair.

“Is that supposed to be me?” Soobin questioned.

“Yes.” You responded, smirking. “You weren’t supposed to see that one.”

Soobin was smiling. “No no no it’s cute. You’re cute.” He kissed your temple, making you giggle.

It wasn’t long after that, the plane arrived, and you both got off, and found your bags.

“Should we get a taxi or take the train?” Soobin asked you as you walked away from baggage claim.

“A taxi will be too expensive from the airport. we can just buy train tickets.” You answered, making him nod; his blonde hair bouncing as he did so.

“Plus, it will give you a chance to practice your Japanese.”

A blush formed on Soobin’s cheeks. “Hey, don’t do that to me. That makes me so nervous.”

“Soobin, you are a lot better at Japanese than you claim you are. I’ve seen your notebook.” You we’re right, Soobin was pretty good at learning Japanese. He always carried his flash cards with him, and you helped him study any chance you got.

You both bought your train tickets, and within an hour or so, you finally arrived at your hotel room.

The second you both walked into the room, you immediately took off your shoes and coats, and relaxed onto the bed.

You moved closer to Soobin, nuzzling into him; making him giggle. “Are you tired?”

You nodded, and Soobins hands smoothed over your hair. “We can take a nap if you want. We’ll just have a chill night tonight while we plan the next couple of days.”

“Okay.” You answered, your eyes already closed as Soobin pulled you closer to him. At this point he was becoming your human body pillow. Soobin always smelled so good; like a mix of vanilla and fresh laundry. Pretty soon you were both fast asleep.

Within about two hours later, you both woke back up. You took a shower while Soobin watched an anime on the television, and then once you were finished; Soobin took a shower. Soobin took longer showers, so by the time he was out, your hair was already blowdried and you were in your hotel robe sitting on the bed doing your make up.

“You don’t need makeup.” Soobin spoke cutely to you. You looked up at him, he was wearing nothing but a pair of grey sweatpants while drying off his damp hair with a crisp white towel. “You always look nice.”

“Soob, you don’t have to say that. I just like to wear some of it.” He sat near you on the bed, picking up some of your products and examining them.

“This is cute.” He had a peachy toned eyeshadow palette in his hand.

“I’ll wear it.” You smiled at him watching you. “I’m almost done, then I just have to get dressed.”

Soobin was still looking at your makeup products, then looked at his phone for the time. “It’s like 7pm. If you want we could just walk around and go to the convenience store.”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” You answered, putting your makeup away.

“There’s a 7-11 like ten minutes away that we can walk to.”

You stood up from the bed to get dressed. “I’m gonna change. What are you wearing?”

Soobin looked up from his phone at you. “Im just going to wear these.” He rubbed his sweat-pant clad thighs. “And like a hoodie or something. Don’t forget about a coat, it’s cold outside.”

You smiled at him before going through your suitcase to find clothes. “Soobin, I know.”

You threw on a simple outfit of some jeans and a sweatshirt.

You both were standing in front of the mirror, and you spritzed some perfume on.

“We look cute.” Soobin spoke, looking at you through the mirror.

You smiled. “I know, I want to kiss you all over.”You turned to face him, standing on your toes to kiss him. “You ready to go?”

Soobin nodded, his fluffy hair bouncing. “Let me get my scarf and my bag.”

Soobin grabbed his bag before wrapping his scarf around his neck, then both of you headed out of the hotel and onto the street.

“The 7-11 is this way.” Soobin spoke, grabbing your hand and starting to walk in that direction. You had to admit that Soobin looked so cute all bundled up in the cold.

“The streets look so cool.” You spoke out loud to yourself, looking around.

“I know. It has a Japan vibe.” Soobin answered.

“Soobin, that’s where we are!” You laughed, making him smile.

“Oh, you know what I mean.” He couldn’t help but laugh at himself too.

You eventually came to an intersection, and stopped for the okay to cross the street.

You were standing next to Soobin, still holding his hand, and felt a chill.

“I’m kind of cold.” You said quietly.

Soobin looked down at you. “Your coats not even zipped all of the way!” He let go of your hand, zipping your coat up. “No wonder you’re cold.”

You eventually crossed the street, and entered the 7-11 shortly after. Soobin opened the door for you and let you walk in ahead of him.

“Do you want ramen?” Soobin asked you.

“Ooh yes please.” You answered, making him smile. “I want natto too.”

You found the ramen section, picking out flavors that you think you’d enjoy.

Both of you strayed off on your own for a little bit, but eventually Soobin found you with some things in your hands.

“Did you find anything good?” He held out his hand basket to you to put your things in.

“Yes!” The excitement was prevalent in your voice. “cheddar aerial chips, natto, and some hand rolls.” You placed each item in the basket as you named it.

“Those chips sound good.” Soobin added.

“Oh my gosh I could eat the whole bag. Which I’ve definitely done before. I can’t ever find them at home.” You noticed he had picked out a few things. “What do you have?”

“I know you like the pocari sweat in the can.” He pointed to it in his basket. “and I found apple hi chews.” He had about eight sticks of them.

You laughed. “Soob, I know that’s your favorite flavor but I hope you left some for somebody else.”

He laughed, smiling. “Hey, I did.”

You guys soon checked out your items, and went to sit down in front of the window to enjoy your snacks.

“I kind of panicked when she asked if I wanted a bag or not” Soobin said as he sat down next to you.

“But you did great.” You opened up your hand roll, wrapping the nori seaweed around it. “Want a bite?”

Soobin nodded, leaning in to take a bite.

“It’s good.” He grabbed the two bowls of ramen. “I’ll go put hot water in these.”

He came back, setting both bowls down for the noodles to soften. You opened your can of pocari sweat, taking a sip.

“It’s just superior in the can.” You commented, making Soobin laugh.

“So what do you want to do tomorrow?” You asked Soobin, opening up your styrofoam container of natto.

“I want to find a bookstore hopefully, and maybe we can go to the countryside. like maybe shirakawa.” Soobin answered.

“Yeah we can do that. I wanted to see the cherry blossoms. I think they should have bloomed in some places. I know it’s kind of touristy and it will probably be so busy, but we can take some cute pictures.”

Soobin peeled the lid off of his ramen. “Yeah, probably, but we can figure it out.”

“Yeah, I’m so excited for these next few days.”

–

tags: @dearlyjoonie @mhasimp666

[the-sky-queen]

March version drawn by @estellardreams

With my tumblrversary (and new sona design 👀) coming tomorrow, I thought it would be fun to look back at all the different versions of my sona throughout the years!

July 2023 version

December 2023 Version

March 2024 Version

Closeups and breakdown under the cut! :D

Version 1! This was the original drawing of my sona that I made for a story I was writing with my friends wherein we ourselves were the main characters. This drawing has the same straight cut bangs that I had back then. I designed the dress to be simple and not overly flashy. It's supposed to be white with gold borders. Then we have the wings, which have always been my favorite part of my sona, the gold feather necklace, and the gold band hidden under my bangs which was supposed to act as a crown. I also hid my hands behind my back because I didn't want to draw them. XD This design was supposed to mimic my irl appearance and it did fairly good job! The only thing missing is my glasses from back then.

Version 2! This one was an updated take on the first version. My art style had changed a bit, so I wanted to draw a better looking picture of my sona. Other than the art style, not much has changed here. The design is still essentially exactly the same. My hair got longer though.

Version [????] I didn't include these in the history pic because I forgot them, but these were two iterations that I did in between version 2 and 3 for thumbnails on my YT channel. They're both once again trying to be an accurate representation off my irl appearance (though once again my glasses weren't included. The first one was an attempt at a chibi art style which I never did again. The second one sat unfinished in my sketchbook for a while before my cousin visited one day and offered to help me color it. We took a picture of it on her ipad and then traced and colored it in whatever drawing program she was using. I played around a bit with the shirt, making it a white into black gradient and brought back in the feather motif because I've always liked feathers. This one stayed my profile pic on yt for a long time.

Version 3! Massive skip in time and drawing style here! This one was designed specifically so I could have an updated sona for when I joined tumblr. (I planned getting my account for months before I finally worked up enough courage to actually do it.) Once again, I wanted this sona to be an accurate representation of what I look like irl. Though THIS time I'd finally gotten contacts so the lack of glasses finally made sense! I'd also gotten a new style of bangs so I incorporated that into the design as well. I brought back the feather as a necklace because I've always liked it. Though for whatever reason I got rid of the wings???? Why. Why did I do that. I love them so much! I shortened the length of my hair back to something closer to version 1 as well. And fun fact about this one! By this point I'd gotten decently good at drawing Sonic characters, so I used my knowledge of how to draw them to draw this version of my sona. XD I wasn't concerned anymore about drawing in a realistic way and leaned into a more cartoony artystyle.

Version 4! honestly, this one was just me wanting to do a Christmas version of my sona. XD Gave myself a cozy Christmas sweater and a Santa hat! I also took my favorite golden feather and tucked it behind my ear. I honestly really like how it looks! (I also messed up the shade of brown for my hair, but oh well.)

Version 5!! Estelle drew this for me and I still love it so much!!!!! I didn't request this of her, she just drew it! I mentioned in a post that I needed a new icon since it was MARCH and I was still using my Christmas pic. XD Next thing I know Estelle is kicking down my door asking me if I wanted her to draw me a new icon. I made sure to specifically request that she include my wings since I'd finally realized how dumb it was that I'd taken them out. But other than that, I let Estelle do what she wanted and I'm SO happy with how it came out!! I really wish I'd used this one for longer, but then April Fools came along and I hopped on the pointing Sonic icon bandwagon. XD But anyway, I'm still very happy and thankful to Estelle for drawing this for me. :D

Annnnnd that catches us up to the present! What will the new version look like? You'll have to wait for tomorrow. :D

[mbti-notes]

Anon wrote: Hello, I came across this page and I very much enjoy it and love it here.          

I will keep it short. I just want to share this little problem of mine. First of all, I am a 19 old INFJ (not very sure about it but its for another post). I am an overthinker, who worries about the smallest things. ‘What will this person think if I do this’ ‘what will this person feel if I said that’, so I am very cautious and careful about my actions and think a lot before doing anything. I have just come to realize that I feel guilty even about the smallest things, even for things that happened a long time ago, I just remember them and I feel a tinge of sadness thinking about them. I will share some of them here.

I remember somewhere in primary school between grade 1 to 3, I had an assignment to make skeletons from paper and pins. My mother did the assignment for me, and I think that she took time and effort to make it. Once I presented it and was done, I had this urge to destroy it and I acted on my impulse. Immediately after I felt really bad. I knew that it was going to be thrown nevertheless, but being destroyed like that  I felt I was undermining my mother’s effort and it was not the best feelings, I know it is a bit dramatic but I was little at that time.

Another incident, a long time ago too, my sister drew a girl and then out of fun I drew ribs on the girl, like she was skeleton then I felt bad and said why did I do that. Although my sister didn’t mind it much.  

Again, when I was around 9, my sister and I wanted to watch Frozen (separately), and we searched the net to find a website to watch, she searched in her iPad and I gave mine to our father to search for me. After a long time, my father came to me excited that he found and downloaded the movie for me but not in English in our mother language and I complained that I wanted it in English, then my sister said that she found a website in English, and I decided to watch with her. I felt really bad because my father wanted to find me something, but I didn’t take what he gave me. This incident really makes me feel bad till now when I think about it haha.     

This is trivial and doesn’t involve me, but I felt a little bad. We bought a PlayStation and me and my sister made two accounts for ourselves and had password on them. One time we saw that the gear was misplaced and the PlayStation open, but no one played it. We realized that my brother came when we weren’t around and wanted to play, but he didn’t know the password and wasn’t able to play and went. I felt a little bad for him and thought if we didn’t put password on the accounts.                                                                     

I don't know if this is normal or if I am an overthinker. Maybe this is the reason why I am careful before doing something now. If this is a problem what are some tips to self-improve in this situation.

-----------------------

Feelings and emotions are necessary for learning and growth. The key is to extract the right lessons from them and then you can lay them to rest in a healthy way (i.e. establish resolution or closure). If a situation continues to plague you, it means you haven't learned the right lesson from it or haven't learned it well enough yet. Guilt is meant to teach you important lessons about how to make better moral decisions. The situations you described all had problematic moral elements to them. Have you learned the right moral lessons from your past?

That being said, there is another important point to address. One of the major development pitfalls for INFJs is excessive or irrational guilt. Usually, it is due to wildly unrealistic thinking (unhealthy Ni) and/or taking on far more moral responsibility than is reasonable for one person to shoulder (unhealthy Fe). When INFJs aren't able to make sense of their guilt, it is easy for them to fall into Ti loop, which might manifest as rumination or "overthinking". These errors in cognition can be addressed through function development, see past INFJ posts.

[jandoesart]

My Art Progression.

I've been drawing for a long time at this point. I started trying to actually get good at around 13 and I'm 18(soon to be 19) now. It has been 6 years and I've made a lot of progress from where I started. I thought I'd make a post showcasing a piece that I made every year from 2018 forward since a lot of the time we see other people's art at the stage they are in and think that we'll never get to that level not really realizing all the years of work that went into them getting to that level. I still have a lot to learn but I think looking back can help us better appreciate how far we've come. I definitely recommend looking back through old art every now and again, especially when you're feeling down about your skills. It will sort of help remind you of how much you've learned and improved. And if you're just starting and don't have art to look back at yet, just remember that if you stick with it, in the future you'll be able to look back at the art you're doing now and see how much your art has changed and developed :D

2018

Please excuse the poor image quality. I remember this was really the start of my journey. I was at my aunt's house and she saw me drawing in this little notebook. I guess she was impressed because the next day she gave me a sketchbook and a couple of pencils. I decided to improve from there.

2019

I started drawing on my phone a lot this year. I remember being really proud of this drawing.

2020

2020 was a bit hectic. With COVID coming about at the end of the school year, I was home a lot more and did A LOT of drawing. I would often time log into the Zoom meetings for class and just draw the entire time. I got my first art tablet and laptop this year and it was very exciting. I think that that helped me in my art as well.

2021

2021 was very similar art wise. I drew this for one of my friends. I think they liked it.

2022

I got my Ipad at the very end of 2021 so that how almost all my finished art in 2022 was made.

2023

That basically brings us to now. as you can see, a lot of improvement has happened through the years and I hope to continue improving in the future. :)

[xmassamurai]

Infromation and warnings post

I feel the need to share some thoughts and important information in this post. If you don't want to read about my thoughts and feelings, go straight to the Information block.

If you don’t like my art just scroll it or block me. You don’t need to text me about it.

Thoughts and Feelings

Warning: voluminous text with some thoughts.

I have abandoned my art blog again and it’s mentally difficult for me to come back to it, so I won’t do it.

My art block started in 2020, but I stubbornly tried to continue drawing with hope that I could force myself to overcome it. At the beginning of 2022, I drew my last picture and couldn’t bring myself to draw anything else. Before my birthday that year, I decided to announce that I was no longer publishing my work.

In my creative journey I made several mistakes. Two of them were large:

1. I started making money as a graphic designer and it led to a burnout.

2. I expected a greater response from the audience, but I didn’t get it because  I really don't know how to work with an audience.

Now I have changed my approach. I no longer work and will never work in the creative field. My job position is connected with  data analysis.

I want to express my endless gratitude to my sister, who brought drawing back into my life. One day she brought me her iPad and offered me to draw. Before this I had never drawn on an iPad; I had always used Wacom graphics tablets. The drawing process turned out to be like meditation for me. I would draw sketches, not finish them, and then abandon them. Sometimes I simply covered the canvas with different brushes.

After working day, my sister and me started playing Mortal Kombat, and when I was tired she gave me the iPad, then she continued to play. And we talked a lot. One day she said: ‘For some reason I like it when you draw.’ And it was very enjoyable. Perhaps she always thought so, but did not voice it. These words seemed to resurrect me. My sister didn't care how long I drew, she just loved sitting next to me and seeing what I was drawing on her iPad. This relieved the nervous tension that I had earned from the wrong attitude towards the audience. I was always afraid of losing the public's interest because I draw slowly. My friends said that I should draw as often as possible, even if it turns out badly, and post it on the blog to increase the activity of subscribers. This approach was very toxic for me. And furthermore I don't know how to draw something actual. Sometimes I become hyper fixated on something and can only draw that.

My sister didn’t care  exactly what I  was drawing. She looked at my crooked sketches as if they were a miracle. She was delighted that I could make some semblance of people  through lines. While we played Mortal Kombat, we inevitably created (almost always without plot justification) pairings, so pairings with the characters of which my sister and I played after work began to appear on my canvases.

One day my mom accidentally saw one of these pictures drawn while playing Mortal Kombat. She said: ‘What beautiful faces they have’. I was embarrassed, but I was pleased. My mom usually didn't give my fandom shipping pictures high marks. Then I decided to create a server on Discord and invited my sister and best friend there. There I started posting all my pictures. I post everything that comes out of one drawing session, even if it only lasted 5 minutes, and they post reactions. There is nothing else on the server. I realized that I need these reactions, I am delighted when they stage some unusual reactions and I am delighted that these reactions are always there. This completely satisfied my need to get feedback from the audience. I have almost gotten rid of the traumas that I inflicted on myself in the past. I am eternally grateful to my sister and my best friend for these reactions.

I myself  began to like the pictures that I completed. And one day I decided that I could post on my Tumblr blog those pictures that seemed good enough to me on the Discord server, and leave space for creative chaos on Discord. Processes and abandoned work will remain there. As well as originals that for certain reasons I don’t want to publish on the Internet and some local jokes and art that only my sister and I or my friend understand.

So I'm restarting my blog. My art will sometimes appear here. They will not appear here regularly. As I complete some works and if they seem suitable for publication, I will post them here.

Information

I do not exclude that sometimes there will be text posts on free topics. These may be my thoughts or incorrect quotes. I will continue to reblog.

Sometimes captions for art may be in Russian. It is my native language. I don't speak English well, but I'm trying to improve it.

This blog will contain pairings that have no plot justification. Please don't comment that this is weird or wrong. I like them and most likely they came here because my sister and I came up with them together for some reason.

Here are a few Mortal Kombat pairings that I ship (maybe I will add it in the future, or maybe create a separate post):

Kuai x Hanzo (in mk1 too)

Baraka x Kabal

Kitana x Jade

Fujin x Rain

Frost x Erron

Shiva x Sindel

Erron x Kano

Johnny x Kenshi

Bi Han x Tomas

Mortal Kombat warnings and headcanon

[thisisafuckingassessment]

POST 28

4.1 Technical choices The student shows their use of digital media and the technical choices they made in the execution of their work. 

For my personal project I've decided to design and sew a lounge set. First I wasn't really thinking through, I just wanted to start and make it, but I realized it requires more planning and designing than this. I asked my artist friend to create the design that I'll eventually print on the fabric. He drew it by hand with sharpers and I needed to digitalize it. I used Adobe Illustrator to vectorize the shapes and I also used this software to create a pattern out of it. I did know that with Illustrator I can make the pattern, but I didn't know how so I learned it from some tutorials on the internet. This design is not finalized, because I am now thinking of drawing the shapes on an iPad again, because I am not fully satisfied with the vectorized result. There are some 'bugs' in the pattern and I think it would be nicer if I would draw it again. But regarding the repetition of the shapes this seems to be a good medium to use. To design the shirt and the pants I decided to use Clo 3D, because this is a software is literally designed for this reason. I saw on the website, that it is possible to create something I planned. I can design the shirt and the pants, I can use my own design for the fabric, I can model it on an avatar that can be the same size as me. I already know how to use different 3D softwares, for example Rhino, Solidworks, PTC Creo, Keyshot, and I knew that although it is possible to create clothing in them they are not designed for it so it would be very difficult. I downloaded Clo and first I just tried it, how the interface works and it is very similar to all the other 3D softwares I already know. Then I started to figure out how to create the pattern and the shape of the clothes in the software, how to change the fabric, how to sew it together, how to add buttons etc. I've spent quite a long time with it, because first I like to try to figure it by myself and then if it's not working I find a tutorial video of it where they explain step by step. I decided to use this digital medium to support my analog process. It saves me from making mistakes, during the pattern creation. I can see exactly how much fabric I need so it also saves me money. I can also export the pattern which is already the size I need and I can print it and cut the fabric around it. This software helps me to visualize it, so I can see how it is exactly going to look like and if I like it or need to change some things on it. There are more designs for the print on the fabric and a lot of color combinations and once it is all modeled in the software it is very easy to change the color or the print, so I am able to see all the combinations and it makes my job easer to choose the best one.

[taikk0]

old art dump!?1!11?!! [part 1]

yeah I really wanted to post these at some point but they're so fcuking ugly they don't deserve to be posted out in the open for all to see 💀💀

like if I were to ever post these one by one I think my dignity would take a huge blow, and that's coming from someone with a massive crater in their chest where their ribcage once was because all their self-respect got absolutely THWACKED out of their body the moment they started simping for the krang. SPOILER ALERT I'm that someone

anyways they're all under the cut peer at your own risk

I know I already posted this here on my improvement post but fun fact: this was the very first fanart I made this year getting back into Rise

also yes there will be commentary, I will always feel the need to explain myself when it comes to things I would greatly want to apologize for 🧍‍‍♂️

WHY DID I DRAW THEM SO HORRIBLY DEFORMED WHO DROPPED THEM RAPH OVER HERE LOOKING LIKE MEGAMIND AND LEOS BUILT LIKE A PIATTOS CHIP

I literally do not remember the context of this at all. not sure if it was a continuation of something, but if it was I can't find the rest of it

don't know how to draw the turtles???? MEME REDRAW BABY

character development is finally realizing Mikey isn't a literal circle lIKE????? WHY IS HE SO BOILED EGG

this was also in my "I have no idea how to properly color" phase, which explains why it's so monotonous compared to the colors I tend to choose now. Everything just looks so murky.... like dirty paint water.....

the mystic door symbol thing doesn't mean anything, I think past Michael just wanted to fill in the space

mikyomix name reveal real?? jk it's always been out, I just haven't mentioned it here, anywho yes hi it's me a Michael

might redraw this soon actually, who knows

this was the very first time I ever actually drew Donnie right, where he didn't make me nauseous just by looking at him, and IT WAS FROM THIS WEIRD SPECIFIC ANGLE FROM SOME REASON. If I ever drew him in a way that looked good it was almost always THIS angle, especially in doodles, it was never ever Donnie actually facing front, it was just him with this weird slouch and his back turned slightly.

am I using too many of whatever "," is, listen I almost flunked English I can't punctuate for crud but I'm trying my best over here ok

(side note: the file name is called "dunkin donuts"???)

this was never supposed to see the light of day, but I think this would be considered fanart of a fanart?? I saw taytei 's species swap au on pinterest before I knew who they were and decided "yk what?? yeah I'll steal it but only for me because I'm bored"

which brings me to the next few drawings

LOOKING AT THESE SENT SHIVERS DOWN MY SPINE AND MY DINNER UP MY THROAT I DON'T LIKE THEM

we're moving on I don't like looking at these they're gross 💀

I made a joke about Donnie giving Leo his own tablet because he kept stealing it based on a very old drawing back in 2019 and it led to the idea of Leo turning into an Ipad kid, crusty screen and Ipad case in all its glory

if it wasn't obvious the background is a png of McDonald's because of course they're at McDonald's

ok, this is gonna sound so stereotypically ADHD of me but listen it makes sense lemme explain

so basically, I had a silly thought in my head that I've had for a long while about Donnie being British for no reason with no explanation as to why, it's not a headcanon it's just a funny thought I like to think about (so maybe it's an AU idk)

and I was binging Jack Whitehall (who was British) and it got to the part where he went on a schpiel on Robert Pattinson where he was talking about what it was like to go to school with him and there was this one section where he talks about being in school theatre with him.

and I thought.... "man wouldn't it be funny if that was the disaster twins..." and everything spiraled from there.

I made up this whole Yokai school they would have gone to if they didn't live in the sewers. Donnie is the head of the drama club, he always plays and casts himself as the main character in his own productions that he himself directs because he's just that good at his job. Leo joins the drama club and shows Donnie up, making him a little bit jealous. Leo is only let in because of the club members vouching for him, Which then leads to Donnie treating him poorly and casting him as a tree (SEE WERE COMING FULL CIRCLE) this obviously upsets Leo and ends up giving him more of a reason to become the center of attention, What was supposed to be a drag ended up helping Leo more than harming his chances of ruining Donnie's plans.

Everything then spirals into a competitive back and forth as to who is the better actor. It stops being about who gets to play which part and more about who comes out of this feud alive with a prestigious acting role tied to their name.

That was everything I thought about at the time though I just thought "HAHA DISASTER TWINS HIJINX" and that was it

someone send me that Donnie toy with the big head and maybe I will start writing fanfiction/JJJJJ

I had this idea of Donnie adopting a dog from Todd because it had an attitude and then the dog ended up being just as smart as him helping him solve equations and stuff and eventually it became his lab partner

yeah that paired up with the RotTMNT drama club thing I sound like I have a very weird brain we're moving on

I have to admit this because I really didn't wanna post this without a heads up but yes this is inspired by that one drawing made by h*bermen right before I even knew about what they did and I feel guilty about this one sometimes just by the sheer fact that it's even loosely associated to them :/

I have nothing to say about this one other than I suck at rendering

this drawing of the boys fighting over their childhood blankie was supposed to be a bit of a concept for a comic I wanted to make but never got around to even writing it out,

the gist of it was that the lair was starting to get a bit messy with the things they've hoarded over the last couple of years, so the turtles+splinter decided to clean everything up, managing what to throw away and what to keep

they come across a blanket that they used to have as kids (which was the same blanket from the flashback in hidden city's most wanted) The individual turtles are hesitant at first and decline wanting to keep it, but overtime they start to realize just how much they want their childhood blanket back. They start making excuses and stealing the blanket from one another, insisting that they needed it for something important, which was very much not the case.

soon everything ramps up to the point where their methods of trying to take ownership of the blanket start getting wilder and wilder and hijinx ensues, not long before everyone overtly starts fighting over it like their life depended on it at the climax of the episode.

I didn't really have a plan yet as to how it was going to end, but if I were to make something up on the spot I'd say either:

A.) it's revealed that the blanket was actually splinter's old bath towel that he doesn't use anymore, the turtles are disgusted by this and stop fighting over it. That is until the twist at the end where one of the turtles comes back for it and takes the towel for themselves when no one is around. gross.

B.) Mikey stops the fight before it gets too serious, calling him and his brothers out for acting like savages over a blanket. Soon everyone realizes that the blanket isn't important, the blanket may be of great significance to them, but their memories together will always be more important, and they can't let a simple piece of cloth tear them apart.

and then after everyone else has left and made up, turns out that it was actually Mikey's plan all along to have them stop fighting to keep the blanket for himself.

this is more of a doodle but I had to bring this one up because it's just funny to me

basically, I was drawing Leo and I had two separate layers, I drew Leo photogenically on the layer above with the deranged Leo invisible underneath, and after some time I completely forgot what I drew on the layer below and made it visible again

yeah you can imagine my soul leaving my body

white-eyed Raph freaks me out,,, where did the yellow go,,,,

"I'M SENSITIVE LEO"

this is the only non-turtle drawing in this whole post I think

okay, a bit of a backstory on this one, this was my very first actually finished RotTMNT animation. It was for a trend on TikTok not too long ago where artists would be drawing a character and the character would move to let the artist continue drawing them

This one animation has single-handedly given me so much clout, like holy crap it's literally at 5M views now and it scares me a little 😭😭

for anyone wondering, its this one

YES I AM AWARE OF HOW CRINGE IT IS LEAVE ME ALONE IM NOT THE SAME PERSON I WAS BACK IN MAY

or whatever month it was, I have no idea what 5-5 is supposed to mean I can't read tiktok dates

not rise related but oh my word I absolutely do not have an actual art style 💀

donnie gets trolled

very eyestrainy. this is a WIP screenshot from an animation meme I never finished

I still have the Krita file btw, so maybe one day ill get to show u guys the full soon if I ever get around to finishing it

I have no idea why I formatted this the way I did, but I'm assuming this was most likely a doodle right on top of the animation meme I mentioned earlier and I just didn't bother cropping it

yeah idk why I drew them with really big eyes

he's sleep-deprived and done with everything he's about to go apeshit

also, weird brush

when I tell you guys I was SO READY to see Leo die in the movie before any information on it came out

vine reference in 2022 baby

I'll have you guys know this was completely by accident

Anyways that's as much as I could fit in one post!! I have a bit more but ehhh maybe sometime later

these are all in the order I made them in, which explains why it kind of gets better the more you scroll, so I hope your eyeballs have been cleansed even slightly by the newer ones jfdsjfkI

I have no idea how to end this post uh like and subscribe

[basiccortez]

Hi! If your requests are open could you do a coco x reader where he tells you he loves you for the first time xx

A/N: I am super sorry this is so late!!! I honestly have no reason why this took so long to get around to. But I am so sorry. I have actually been looking into writing to a bigger crowd, i.e. being a gender neutral author. This is my first time writing with a gender neutral character, so please please please, give me feedback on it and ways that I can make my writing better and more inviting to all readers!!

pairing: Coco x Gender!Neutral reader.

warnings: fluffy shit

He wasn't sure when it first hit him. Was it when you didn't put up with his mother's shit? When you held him after he killed his mother? The fact that you didn't run when seeing what he could do. Or was it when you took in Leti as your own? Doing whatever was possible to make her feel welcome in your home, helping her with school, and even putting forth enough money to help her buy her own car. Or was it when he was hit with a Molotov cocktail and was blinded in one eye? Spending the night by his bed, holding his hand and praying to whatever God was out there that he was going to be okay. Or was it when he was on his last life, and no one, not even the club wanted to deal with him? When he had disappeared for a month and not even his daughter knew where he was. He had shown back up on your doorstep, looking worse for ware, and listened to you as you went in on him about the drugs, running away from the club and getting help, and stealing Leti's iPad, car and college money.

Coco was surprised when you walked into the guest bedroom the next morning after he came stumbling to your door. You looked as beautiful as ever, but also mad as hell.

"I'm sorry-"

"Shut the fuck up." You responded.

"Babe-"

"No, Johnny. Where the hell have you been? Do you know how worried we have been? Me, Leti, even fucking Gilly. Your daughter thought you died. And I actually believed it!" You yelled at him. Coco winced at the sound of your voice.

"I'm sorry. I thought, I thought I could keep things away. The demons and everything. It started with the oxy they gave me after surgery, and just went from there. I'm sorry, I never meant for it to get this bad. I broke the promise."

You looked at the ground and then back up at your boyfriend, "You need to get clean. If I have to take up extra shifts and the hospital I will. Coco, I will spend every cent to make sure you get yourself back together. You get clean here, or I ship your ass of one of those celebrity rehab centers Doctor Drew works at." You said and Coco nodded, "You not only let me down Coco, but you let your daughter down too. You're gonna have to work hard to win that trust back."

Coco took your words to heart, and he did start working hard. And like promised, you never left him alone. You were by his side at 2 AM when he thought bugs were crawling all over his skin. Or in the heat of the day, when he wanted to go for a walk and ended up vomiting in your rose bush. You never left his side. Coco could see past your tough exterior, and saw that your heart was breaking watching the person you care for tear his body apart.

By the third month, Coco finally felt normal. He had replaced his heroine habit for tending to succulents. You and Leti had grown annoyed that your guest room was filled with small green plants, but both agreed it was better than crack. Coco had apologized to his daughter, and agreed to get a job to help her pay for school. He had also reached out to the club, explaining to Bishop what had happened. He knew what could happen, intravenous drug use was against the rules. But Bishop, desperate to fill his table after Steve and Taza, let it go, but still made sure that he was clean.

The last thing he had to do was apologize to you. It wasn't that he hadn't told you he was sorry or how grateful he was, but he knew you deserved more. He wanted to give you more and he was going to do that. He had cleaned the house, done laundry and even decided to get a haircut, knowing how much you loved when his hair was shorter. Coco had gotten Leti to keep you busy, and take you out to for a 'treat yourself' day.

"Thank you, Leti." You said as you dropped Leti off at her friends house, "I can't remember the last time I had a day to myself. I was really needing that back massage."

"I should be thanking you, and everything you did for my dad. I haven't seen him that happy or healthy in months. You really did work your magic."

You smiled to yourself and nodded, "Im just happy you got your dad back."

"I am too. I'll see you later." Leti said and kissed your cheek before heading into her friends house.

You sighed as you sat in front of your house, never knowing what you're about to walk into. You trusted Coco, and trusted that he was staying clean, but you never know. You said a silent prayer, and got out of the car to go inside.

Your breath caught in your throat as you opened the door to bushels of white roses and candles surrounded the living room. The house looked spotless and the vomit stain in the couch had been cleaned.

"What did you do?" You asked your boyfriend.

"I uh. . . I cleaned, and Gaby helped me. I wanted to apologize. For everything. I've been a shit father and an even shittier boyfriend to you. I didn't realize how fucked up I had gotten. I promised you that I wouldn't be like my mother, and I did exactly that. Baby, I never want to be that man again, I love you."

"You love me?" You asked, tears in your eyes, "Johnny, you've never said that."

"I was waiting for the right time. I love you, mi alma." Coco said, grabbing your waist and wiping away fallen tears. He caressed your cheek softly before placing a soft kiss on your lips, the first time he's kissed you in months.

"I love you too, Coco."

[crackerqueen-ineedsleep]

in like august or something i sent lorel a very rambly ask about blogverse. well im doing it again because it was such a big thing in my life and i loved it so much.

it is i, roleplayer of bv!shandy/shando, bv!digi/mercury, and the very first lorelcest ship kid; oleander. There's more, but those were the ones i remember clearly. to this day i regret deactivating those blogs, mostly due to all the lost memories. it brought me so much joy. looking back, it was definitely my hyperfixation at the time.

the summer of 2020 (holy shit almost 3 years ago) and i think early into the start of online school, i watched from the sidelines as blogverse grew. every day i watched my little people in the screen. I wasnt much younger but i was still a cringe little tumblr kid having a shit time in school. and then i realized that i could just join. i didnt need permission or anything, i could just make a blog from the get-go and become one of them.

and thats how blogverse shandy was born. my very first tumblr blog, and the one that made me stay. (actually, idk which of them was the first)

i'm still pissed at myself for clearing out my google drive because i used to still have the shitty pictures i drew on my computer of them, due to the fact my ipad was broken at the time. those shitty little pictures were what kept me interested in art (they didnt make me better, i was trash through and through, but they're what sparked my interest and led me to get better). i treasure the old fanart i find in their tags when i go through the ruins of blogverse.

They didn't really have a fleshed out personality or backstory. they were "weird and quirky" one moment, then straight up violent the next. this was mostly because i had no prior experience at actually fleshing out characters. though, i think their "wild card"ness somehow became their personality in the end. i was still some cringe little kid who thought i was a genius at writing because i had this little guy in my computer who lived in a void and had a cat and atattchment issues.

but holy shit i loved them. i used to think about them like a real flesh and blood person. i'd spend long nights roleplaying with others and long days talking to myself about my plans for them and then totally abandoning them moments later. i drew them poorly and decided i was a master of character design. they felt like a part of me.

i had no idea how tumblr worked but it was so much fun. bv digi, bv shandy, and oleander were 3 separate blogs because i didn't even know side blogs were a thing. bv shandy was deactivated several times due to minor issues that could've been fixed with the press of a button.

then came oleander, who i kind of had an idea for. they were a snotty little motherfricker who i absolutely adored being. it started as a joke and then it wasnt a joke anymore and they were a fully fledged character. i got bored quick though, and their blog went inactive soon. i hate their design to this day, and in the morning i'll probably redraw them.

there was also bv digi, whose entire personality was being a little weirdo who kidnapped ship kids at random just be-fucking-cause. they might've actually been the first blog i dont remember. anyway, they had the normalest design and the least art. i loved them with my whole fucking soul.

they made no sense and were generally shitty but that was the best thing to ever happen to me i think. bv introduced me to tumblr where i'd meet so many amazing people and see so many hilarious and sometimes eye-opening posts. it got me into art, writing, and roleplay, my 3 biggest hobbies to this day. it was a hyperfixation i leaned on to cope with the mild distress that just came with being alive and a dumb kid in 2020. my very first 'real' blog was made after bv's fall, and i met one of my longest mutuals bc she wrote a lorelcest fic.

I think back on it as the good old days, nostalgic even. Blogverse was my pride and joy, what i'd go do after a day of suffering in school or do when i retreated to my room. When it died so did my hyperfixation, but now looking back it meant so fucking much to me and was arguably my strongest interest and maybe even coping mechanism.

sure, it deprived me of sleep and sometimes food because i was so caught up with it, but it made me happy. all's well that ends well, right?

and i still am a dumb kid (Older Edition, yay), but even when i'm a dumb adult i'll never forget blogverse. BV was my pride and joy that summer. Thank you for being its accidental ringleader, and i know its wacky to say, but without bv i would be a different person.

:]

KSDJEKFKEKC AAAAAAAAAAAAA-

BICH U GONNA GET ME ALL TOUCHY AND FEELY

I'm so surprised yet happy that there's still at least one person that remembers BV! It was a lot of work to run so many blogs but I'm happy to know that it was worth it. BV means a lot to me aswell :)

[the-a-word-2214]

A.L.F.

summary: the A.L.F. are on the move and stumble upon a lost girl on their way to finding Okja. Inspired by the events of the movie Okja.

pairing: Jay x reader

word count: 1,543

warnings: language, fluff, possibly sensitive subjects, mentions of kidnapping and neglect, mentions of medical equipment

soundtrack: Annie’s Song- John Denver

The grime under your fingernails had started to become unbearable. The gnawing feeling of the zip ties around your wrists was enough for you to want to scream.

There should be a village coming to look for you, but alas, no one was coming. Your own father had sold you in exchange for the last bit of food that he could find at the market. So here you were, alone and dirty thirty days later in the deepest of basements. In Korea. You were beyond dirty, your once colorful blue hair now faded as your roots peaked through.

Your ribs were now showing, you’d dropped about ten pounds in the span of a month. To say you were exhausted would be an understatement. Just as you went to poke at the stale bread that was left on the dingy floor, a commotion could be heard upstairs. Murmuring and screams of pain sounded as a smoke bomb was dropped next to the door of the basement.

A “thunk” knocked against the door as it was broken open with a hefty shove. Five mysterious figures in masks surrounded you as you cowered towards the wall. They took off their ski masks as an authorative figure bent down to be eye level with you. The tight suit pants intrigued you as you looked over his figure.

His kind and inviting eyes mystified you as he gave you the smallest of smiles. “We are the Animal Liberation Front, we’re here to save you.” His voice came out hushed and gentle as he sliced the zip ties around your wrists with a knife. He handed the knife back to a girl with red hair before he scooped you up and carried you away.

The next few moments were a blur as you drifted in and out of consciousness. Your thoughts wavering as you tried to understand what was happening. Your blood pressure dropped rapidly as they fed an IV through a bag and hooked it up to your arm. The hands that once held you before now cradled your head as he lead your eyes up to his.

“It’s going to be alright. I’ve got you.” You heard him say just before you drifted off into the blackness of your subconscious.

———————————————————

You awoke to a pounding headache and a new sensitivity to light. The room around you was unfamiliar, a hotel room. The same five bodies from before were surrounding you, their appearances all different from one another.

The kind man from before was next to your bedside, his warm hand over yours. “My name is Jay. This is Red, Blonde, Silver, and K.” He pointed to each individual as he spoke.

“You’re the Animal Liberation Front.” Yes. That was it. Your memory, although a little foggy, hung onto the words that he said before you drifted into unconsciousness.

A hint of a smile plays at Jay’s lips as he gives you a confirming nod. “Yes, that’s correct. And you are (Y/N) (L/N). You lived with your father before you were kidnapped, is that correct?”

Tears swelled in your eyes as you looked towards the floor. “That’s not right, h-he sold me. He sent me to Korea in exchange for food.” Your voice wavered as you uttered the words that you denied in your mind every day.

Silver and Red looked to the ground after hearing your story. It was unfathomable that a father could do that to his only child. It was your reality though, and you could only grow from it.

“We’re really sorry, (Y/N). Although, we have a proposition for you. Show her Jay.” This was the first time that you’d heard blonde speak, he was evidently Australian.

Jay shows you images of past missions on an iPad. The sight of them reclaiming helpless animals makes your heart beat twice as fast. You’re snapped back to reality when Jay stops speaking. “Hm? Yes?”

A soft chuckle passes his lips as he hands the iPad back to K. “We want you to join us. We stop animal abusing corporations like Mirando along with many others. Our credo is set in stone and our mission is clear; save the planet, one animal at a time. So, what do you say? We will only begin your initiation if you agree.”

Before he can get another word out, you’re agreeing. “Yes, I’ll do it. I want to join you.” This was new, exciting, enticing. Their cause was noble, no one could deny that.

That was all it took, suddenly Jay was pulling you into a hug, the smell of his strong cologne intoxicating. You slightly chuckled before pulling away, the kind gesture made you realize how touch starved you were.

———————————————————

That leads me to your current predicament, shaky hands gripped the edge of a skyscraper as you dangled over the ledge. Blonde and Jay had their hands outstretched to you, they slowly began pulling you up. It was beyond terrifying but apparently that’s what it took to initiate someone into the A.L.F.

Your breaths were heavy and fervent as you stood atop the ledge and walked into the hotel room where you all were staying. The suit-clad man was who you clang to first, his intelligent mind and calm demeanor drew you in like a magnet. He was your boss first and foremost, secondly, he was your friend. An ally to turn to when things went wrong.

This newfound love made your heart swell with joy as you wrapped your arms tighter around Jay.

Your affection was interrupted just as a group known as the Black Chalk infiltrated the room, tear gas was misted into the air as batons were swung left and right, hitting your teammates.

“No!” You cried as you reached out for them just as a blow hit the back of your head. Your vision blurred once more as you grabbed onto Jay’s hand. He grabbed onto it, intertwining your fingers as he is struck down as well.

With the last bit of strength that he has, he pulls you towards him and dashes out. A limp to his step but he is able to run away nonetheless. With you in his arms like you once were all those years ago, he takes off down the street until he reaches a waiting truck to take you both to safety.

You catch glimpses of your team in handcuffs as the door slides down. With bated breath, you slink down the wall. Your eyes drift to the gaping wound on Jay’s stomach, blood begins to pool at the site. His eyes drift closed as you catch his head in your arms, moving him to your lap.

You let out an inhuman sound, a horrid sob. “K! We need help now!” You screech at him as he immediately gets on the phone with what you assume is a medic. You look down to the man that you’re so desperately in love with and stroke his hair away from his face.

“Don’t you dare leave me, Jay. I need you. I love you.” You press a gentle kiss to his slick forehead.

———————————————————

You never leave his side as the medic works, she makes quick work of an IV and begins to also work in a blood transfusion while she orders you to put pressure on the wound. All you can do is nod as you heed her commands.

Once she finishes, she checks his vitals before K drops her off and you drive to another hotel room. It’s as if the constant places that you called home kept constantly changing. Hotel room after hotel room, it was always what you woke up in.

The A.L.F. was a gratifying yet tiring job. One of the rewards of it was meeting and having Jay by your side. He made even your darkest day brighter, while also being a constant reminder of your team’s main goal.

You and K help your superior into the hotel room, your friend leaves the two of you alone for some privacy.

Your movements are careful as you ease him onto the bed. His eyes are as calm as usual, they hold a sense of nervousness for once though.

“I heard you.” He mutters as he looks at your hands, the nail polish on your nails chipped and worn down.

“Hm? Heard me when?”

“In the truck, I heard what you said. You told me that you loved me, that you needed me.” His lips curl upwards as his eyebrow quirks up.

You can’t help the blush that makes an appearance on your cheeks. “I did say that. You’re right.”

“Well, did you mean it? I have to know. You know how I feel about you, Blue.” The nickname rolls off his tongue with ease. An affectionate gesture recalling the color of your hair. His voice wavers as he reaches his hand out to touch yours, brushing his fingers lightly against the top of your hand.

You look to his hand and take it, enveloping it in your own. “Yes, I do.”

He smiles even wider and pulls you into a soft kiss. Your lips brushing against each other’s clumsily before you both become sure of yourselves.

This was the start of something beautiful, you just knew it was.

[momentomorrie]

This week marks the 1 year anniversary of when I, in a fit of anger, very unexpectedly drew my first cartoon. I'd never done anything like it before, but it was fun and expressive and I've got over a hundred now, a lot of them with these two characters, so I'm seeing where it takes me. I thought it would be fun to recreate my first one in the style I draw in now to mark the occasion. It was initially #iPad (using #adobefresco), and I did this on watercolor paper with #crowquil, #brushpen, and #inkwash, all analog. It's fun to see how it has changed. One day at the store I was pissed about the state of the world and this arrived in my brain. I thought about how so much of the dialogue emerging in the last few years was hateful, false, and destructive and thought "I wonder if they will lay on their deathbed and look back at what they did with the chances they had and how they will feel about what they did. Will some of them realize in their final moments they made the world a worse place for basically everyone on it before it's too late and they just fuckin die?"...and boom, a fully formed cartoon popped into my head. In case the messaging was too subtle I decided to call the guy "Momento Morrie". #momentomorrie #momentomori #cartoon #kurzclub https://instagr.am/p/CeJgJgpOpF6/