#I draw her in grey because that's the colour of her morals

[datamodel-of-disaster]

I want to draw but I can't, brain uncooperative. So, have some random sketches and practice drawings of one of my Tron OCs.

Meet... Zuri.

Name: Zuri. Pronounced "Zoo-ree", not "Shure". Likes: Knowing secrets. The sound of the rain. Finding the point where fascination becomes fear. Dislikes: Thoughts that linger. The sense of having forgotten something. Observing her own data structure. Described in a song: Ready To Go by Hurts Notable quote: "I swear I will unrender your mouth if you don't shut it."

If you're interested to get to know her, check out my story The Five Stages of Rectification.

[beetlejuicyy]

criston cole is such a female-experience coded character and it is exactly why he is hated so much hear me out

his whole character is built around the idea that rhaenyra seduced him, had taken his dignity and made him feel like her whore. his vow and his duty are close enough to the idea of women's purity and value. you were sullied, you have to marry the man that devalued you, otherwise you are spoiled and unworthy.

on top of that, his identity as a knight, as kingsguard means he is submissive. he is not seen having a lot of opinions or plans to how things are done, the big guys in the council decide and he has to obey to their orders.

on top of that, when he does act at last, it's portrayed in the form of scheming, behind the backs of people, and it's mostly attributed to his sentimental nature, to his inability to think straight, be logical because of his personal feelings. that's how women have been portrayed for centuries.

another thing that makes his character harder to grasp is the choice to have the same actor play the pre-timeskip and past-timeskip criston. 20 years have passed and yet people see him as the same person who refused to be rhaenyra's whore but now he is hypocritical because he is alicent's whore. 20 years have passed and, even if you can't see it on his face, he's bound to have changed too.

in his relationship with alicent he doesn't talk as much. he is obedient, she's the one in charge. she gets to say when and how things happen, he is just at her service.

his entire character is build up to revolve around rhenyra, like women's lives are supposed to revolve around men. if he refuses to acknowledge his status in his youth he is no longer allowed to later (after 20 years mind you) find some sort of comfort in another master. it's like saying "if you say you hate the system why take part in it"?

his pent up rage and hatred is evil, because what happened to him was behind closed doors where no one saw or heard of it. because if they knew of it he would lose everything, exactly the way women have often refrained from talking about their condition in fear of being villainized themselves. in the meantime, the one in power will keep their dignity and spotless reputation like rhaenyra is not even held accountable for having bastards pushed forward as heirs, not to mention the fling she had with criston.

this rant is in no way trying to portray criston cole as a saint or a good guy or trying to justify his behaviour. this is actually the problem with hotd, the effort to draw a line between the good guys and bad guys. have it be either balck or white. it's not, it can't be. you either have complex, morally grey characters with flaws and mistakes or you go watch marvel or something. even there villains are more humanized than in this petty effort of righteousness.

LE: thank you everyone who mentioned the aspect of criston being a man of colour from dorne and the power dynamic between a royal and a lower born who fought his way into the world! this rant was written in a rush and while i couldn't express the latter as eloquently as most of you in the tags/comments, i completely overlooked the former. i love looking through everyone's tags and comments and seeing your takes. as @jazzyclarinet pointed out in the comments, seeing criston's character in this light does not erase or diminish the injustice other women in the story experience.

on another note, i feel like part of the blame is on the way hbo marketed the season with the pressure to pick a side. however, i think what we've been lacking as a society in the post covid years is actual unbiased analysis of art. swallowing up content without any question and making said content a personality trait is harmful. as i said, i don't like criston as a character, but i can make these points about him simply because i watch the show critically and i don't blindly defend a character while trashing another.

[tired-reader-writer]

Since I'm stuck unable to draw for now, I'm gonna focus my restless energy on AU headcanons instead bc clearly that's the logical thing to do:

The clan has a bunch of healers, yeah? They have a roster of teams and stuff and they have a scheduled structured sort of thing for patrolling the villages within Shapur's family lands to offer healing services. The duration kinda varies depending on how far a particular group is travelling.

Teen!Isfan was part of those teams, not sure if he continued to participate in the tradition as he grew older, as his duties as heir sort of took up more of his time, but by the time Shapur has to leave for Sindhura he is not part of it anymore.

However, Arslan still very much is!

What this tradition does is that it helps build a good relationship between the clan and the local folk, as well as between the ruling family and the civilians and the clan as Shapur clearly approves of it and his two children actively participate in this.

After Arslan is deemed strong and well enough to walk long distances again post-Ecbatana, he asks to be given permission to get back to work again. His brother agrees hesitantly, but not before being scolded by Farangis for hovering too much, lol.

It was agreed that Arslan's group (him, his milk brother, a couple other healers, plus Elam who was curious) would journey to only the villages closest to the castle though, for concern of his health.

Elam thought Arslan would ride a horse, he's kinda surprised he's gonna walk throughout the entire trip, even if it's only for close villages.

(the ones venturing beyond Shapur's family lands, they'd ride, or maybe they'd just ride a cart)

Arslan just says “ah well it's been like this always, we can hitchhike a ride on some wagon or something if I get tired”

He wears smth like his #2 outfit from the design sheet for stuff like this

It's also a good opportunity to gather rumors and information

So that's one part of it

Remember how I mentioned the villages building fortified walls?

For the project to start, Isfan and village chiefs/representatives would probably have to stamp out the details together, dunno where, maybe in the castle, maybe in one of the villages, unclear still

Arslan also travels round the villages for this as well, to see how things are coming along, to boost morale, as Isfan's representative. He rides a horse this time around. He also wears the family colour, smth like his design #1 from the sheet.

Kazai kinda occupies a steward-like role in the castle? He's surprisingly good at managing the household staff. He knows how to take care of a household (even if the castle is larger in scale than what he's used to), to care for gardens and livestock, to organize people, to prepare a feast, and to entertain.

Arslan was encouraged to pursue his interests and hobbies in this AU, while there's a loose set of expectations to live up to as a son of a noble household even if not by birth, he's not in so rigid a station as a Crown Prince or even heir to these lands, he's pretty much given more freedom here than in canon. He's in a grey area between two cultures, and so receives education from both. He mostly learns what would enable him to eventually take Kazai's role as a pseudo-steward kind of figure, to maintain the castle and inventory and stuff. Mostly background work but hey, both uncle and nephew enjoy it.

I guess that sort of leading the household staff, maintaining the castle, preparing feasts, that sort of stuff would normally be taken care of by the lady of the household with the aid of stewards, but there's no lady and... Kazai is the lord's spouse so yeah.

Eihon... dunno where exactly to put her yet, maybe she lives outside the castle in the clan village, maybe she is called to live in the castle so that she can teach Isfan and later Arslan, I still don't know. She is a village chief, though.

Isfan learns the art of healing under Eihon, and some sort of craft, because the clan values craftsmanship and creation. He was encouraged to learn something, as sort of a hobby.

Kazai likes to take his kids (the 22-trio, Ranna, Arslan) out on roadtrips of sorts to nearby woods to teach them how to navigate forests and mountains and how to survive in the wilds if need be.

Kazai is very good at teaching, and often displays this pure-hearted, childlike elation at watching his disciples fumble for a solution to a problem together, heads gathered and cooperating.

Pretty sure Farangis is being taught with the aim of her eventually becoming clan chief? or at least the chief of the healers.

Not sure what role Gieve occupies. Courier definitely, info gatherer, errand boy LMAO

Ranna currently lives in the village, not in the castle, though she and Arslan are close friends.

Kubard, Merlaine, and Irina and ber entourage arrive at Gorgan just as they're beginning to build fortified walls?

Man I really want Merlaine to meet Arslan. I need to make it happen.

I don't know how to end this.

So uh, here, have this... thing.

[theteapotofdoom]

Hello, Miss Teapot! Idk if you remember me, but I was the John chan anon from way back when (still miss him so much🥺), and I finally got a tumblr of my own! I saw that you're a fan of Lackadaisy, which I'm about to start reading! What are some of the things you like most about the comic?

JOHN CHAN ANON!!!! So good to see you :D

I'm glad that you made your own account, I hope that you're having fun here on Tumblr!!! (and I still miss our best boy too .......)

I'm a HUGE fan of Lackadaisy! It's a wonderful webcomic that has been deserving hype and attention for a decade and I'm so glad the pilot is doing numbers on youtube! And super happy that you decided to read it, you're gonna have so much fun!

It's going to sound like a cop-out, but I honestly love EVERYTHING about Lackadaisy. It's hard for me to tell if I just watched at such a formative age that it shaped my taste for the rest of my life OR if it just so happens to check all the boxes for me.

First of all, I love the art. Tracy Butler is an incredibly talented artist, she absolutely slays every page of the comic. The scenery, the characters, the atmosphere ... it always hits! I think she worked as an animator for a long time and you can really tell because the characters are all incredibly expressive and all have very unique and distinctive designs. And you can really see her art getting better and better as the story continues through the years. The first few pages are already really good, but when you compare them to her most recent chapters it almost pales in comparison! She actually did a lot of very fun art tutorials on Tumblr where she explains her creative process and how she designs characters. I used a lot of these to learn how to draw when I was younger, and even if you don't want to get into art there are still very fun to look at. My personal favourite is this one about how to draw expressions. But they're all very good so here's a link to the list. Honestly, I just recommend checking out both the official website and the official Tumblr, because Tracy shares A LOT of behind-the-scenes content and answers a lot of fan questions, and also just posts a lot of little side comics with the characters that have nothing to do with the main story.

And like I said, the comics simply check all the boxes for me. I love the period, like a lot of people, I have a huge fascination for the 1920's both aesthetically and historically. I also love gangster stories with a bunch of chaotic morally grey characters. The scenery, the costumes, the atmosphere, the music ... I love it!

The characters are by far one of the biggest strengths of the comic (with, you know, everything else!). It hits that perfect spot of "characters first appearing bigger than life and stereotypical but slowly showing more cracks and nuances". The characters are full of well-known tropes that really work: the crazy one, the shy one, the big muscle guy, the femme fatale, the cold calculating killer and his chaotic sidekicks ... they are colourful and bigger than life and it's highly entertaining! But in some ways, these tropes are masks that they were to stay alive in this crazy world. And like I said, as the story goes you get to see little cracks forming and you learn more about who they really are deep down.

And also, you know, I just really like cats and this is a fun story about crazy cats with guns :)

I'm sorry if this was a whole lot of rambling, I'm just really emotionally attached to this webcomic and I'm happy to see it getting so much attention :D

[cocktailjjrs]

TR 263

I wake up to this. TR 263 spoilers.

Honestly at this point I don’t completely blame Mikey.

He grew up to be the way he is (minus the Dark Impulse, we still don’t know the story behind it or it isn’t explicitly stated what caused it) because no one ever told him otherwise.

No one ever comes into this world knowing the rules by which humans’ function. No one by birth knows how to speak any language or has a sense of good or bad. Babies learn it from their environment and what they are taught. Like if a baby is taught alphabets in wrong order, he won’t know that till he meets other kids or if he was taught the name of colours wrong, he won’t know that.

Similarly, a kid won’t know it’s “wrong” to beat up others for no reason till he is told so (or scolded for that)

I’m not saying one should be good or bad or right or wrong, because that’s subjective to each person respectively. Not everything in this world can be divided into while and black, there are many grey areas we are dealing here. But there are a few morals this world works by, like one person should not kill other or beat them to death for no reason.

Mama Sano loved her son, she even called him her angel, she adored him – so much that she let his some of his morally questionable activities slide.

The way I see it here, Mikey casually telling his mom that he beat up some kids and her response is not of shock or disappointment but a smile and a praise of how strong he is. He met his mom only once a week – he looked forward to those small interactions, she seemed to talk about his father most (Mikey seemed to be just as interested) and he had his father as an idol to look up to and a mom’s praises to gain, and he got those by being a delinquent.

He grew up learning it’s okay to beat up others – that makes him strong; he grew up thinking crying was for week – so he never expressed himself in front of others; he grew up hating whoever showed any kind of weakness and only loved strong guys. He grew up with a tunnel vision.

I think by this time Black Dragons were formed long back, Shin being ten years elder, meaning here he was 16-17 (or maybe even 18 – as Mikey was 7-8, I think). He saw his brother running around with his biker’s gang, getting into fights and all and thought it was cool.

No wounder his Moral compass isn’t actually aligned with most. (Yes, “Most” because it’s humans who decided what these morals should be, Nature did not)

I think here his mom telling him that “he was not strong because he didn’t cry” was actually a bit late of her, the damage had been done – a mindset had been created, it’s not easy to change one’s views of world so easily.

His face looks like someone told him what he was calling Up all this time was actually Down (does that makes sense?)

You know, when in fanfics there are the character losing their shit over the looming parenthood and that they are going to mess up bad with the whole thing. This one could come close to what they fear.

There are still many things we don’t know about Mikey. Like the origin of his Dark Impulse (we don’t even know when it actually started). He is a complex character, there are layers to him that we are going to find out in the upcoming chapters, for which I can’t wait.

P.S. I am still doubtful about the whole Sanzu scar thing. A manga panel is something that is drawn very carefully and to the last detail, Wakui not drawing blood on Mikey’s hands in his POV while his hands being completely covered in blood in Senju’s are contradictory; so, we still don’t have a complete picture of what actually went down that day. We will have to wait for Sanzu’s POV for that.

While this chapter answered a few questions, it also added another bunch of them. Next chap will be of founding members, we know most about it so i hope dont just get a callback chapter. It also makes me wounder what happens to Sanzu in such a short amount of time.

Coz here, we see he has started to idolize Mikey, whatever the story behind those scars, here we see him proud that Mikey was able to beat up high schoolers.

A week is a long time to wait to have answers to soooo many questions (half of which may even take months)

What did you thought of this chap?

Toodles!

[paynnincorporated]

Kitt (”redesign”) & Wyldfyr! Notes under the cut!

Decided to draw Kitt because she’s a character with a lot of potential for fleshing out too! Anyway, quick “redesign” notes for her:

She’s Asian (Wonn surname is just an opportunity ripe for the taking), and I gave her a racing jacket + boots to suit her BG as a Down City citizen better. I get what the creators were going for with the green-ish colours, they’re supposedly to complement Wyldfyr’s reds and oranges, hence I kept it but added some desaturated greens to tone it down a tad. As an independent/solo racer, I think one of the defining features for Kitt’s outfit should be that she definitely doesn’t want to join the Dragon Flares, hence the spunk green. I love it when character design choices serve a purpose, and here is Kitt, defying every expectation for her to dress like the Dragon Flares.

Anyway, in my “rewrite” of DB, I’ve made the inter city level prejudice/discrimination the main theme, instead of dragon species inequality and abuse (weird zootopia vibes, I’m not a fan). I’ve explored it quite thoroughly in my writing of the Paynn fam, but these doodles are in the perspective of Down City resident Kitt herself. As a racer, she very much looks up to various renown Down City racers like Zulay Paynn etc. And I think this is a decent way to at least bring up dead women characters in the show and make their deaths less of a fridging and more impactful/with more weight on the story.

Besides this, this Kitt’s slightly older than Artha, maybe 20+ ish by the time canon timeline hits, simply because she’s the more experienced racer. So in my rewrite she takes up a mentor/big sister role rather than love interest. In my thoughts about Moordryd getting into races... I think I like the thought that he’s more experienced than Artha, but has also not been around for too long (maybe newly adult). The beef he has with the Dragon Eyes is better explained in my other lore/story rewrites for the Paynn Family but yeh! No one in Down City likes Sun City business mogul Word Paynn... for the major tragedy that is Zulay’s death. More on that here .

TLDR Kitt’s the pro at navigating Down City and its society, Moordryd’s morals are less grey than canon (He’s still bratty, but cheating grates on his nerves and so does every evil errand his father sends him on. This eventually leads to their relationship blowing up and coming round for a resolution in the face of Armeggadon’s war). Idk who even reads any of this anyway but woo! making art and writing for the void!!!!! I’m having fun, and that should be enough, but ooft. My artist self esteem gets hit often lol :’D I love the potential in these characters and the world they inhabit.... so much story telling potential........

[bertolts]

Maddie, I think you've finally done it. I think you've converted me to the Dramione side. Do you have any suggestions for fics?

OwO Oh boy do I. I have so many suggestions but I’ll just link a few that I’ve read and reread. I tend to lean toward angsty romance fics so I’m unsure if I have any fluffy fics. Unsure of what exactly you’re more into but these are some of my faves:

The Rights and Wrongs series by @lovesbitca8 : An excellent series focusing on Hermione’s and then Draco’s POV in a 2 part story of their post-war relationship. It’s filled with intense pining, angst, sexual tension, and slowburn. Part 1 is ‘The Right Thing To Do’ and Part 2 is “All The Wrong Things” Part 3 is a ‘Voldemort Wins’ AU set in the same universe. This part ‘The Auction’ is currently WIP and is quite dark so I’d recommend checking the tags before proceeding. Hermione is captured and sold into the service of Death Eaters. “But despite the horrors of Voldemort’s new world, help - and hope - seem to arise from the most unlikely of places.” There’s also a few ficlets/oneshots in this series. (Part 1 & 2 Complete - Part 3 ‘The Auction’ In-Progress)

Wait and Hope by @mightbewriting : Is a fic I love so much I just finished rereading it for the third time this past weekend. It’s a memory loss fic. Hermione loses that past 7 years of her memory and finds herself married to Draco Malfoy. It’s a bitter sweet and angsty fic about Hermione relearning her own life and relationships. Some of the chapters really punch you in the gut. I’m tearing up just thinking about it. (Complete)

Shattered Oaths by @ JustAlongTheMirrorOfErised : Just picked this up this past weekend. “There have always been whispers of old magic in the woods. Some say that you could make a promise to an ancient creature for whatever your heart desires. What the stories never told her is that all magic comes with a price. Hermione could never have known that the oath she broke as a child would threaten to destroy everything that she worked for and everyone that she loves.It all started with the being who spoke to her with words forged from liquid silver. Destiny is just as fickle as it is inevitable.” It’s a Fae AU and it is a delicious slow burn. Draco is a Fae and Hermione essentially stole his magic. together they have to try and restore the imbalance she created before they die or WORSE! It’s the type of trickster dangerous Fae lore too. The whole ‘power in a name’ type of magic(In-Progress)

Bittersweet and Strange by @ UndiscoveredQueen19 : “ Trapped to share the same cursed fate in a world ruled by Voldemort, Draco and Hermione find that their differences are what make them similar and that their flaws are what make them whole. Dramione AU with a Beauty and the Beast twist.” Draco is cursed, Hermione is a desperate order fighter, and the two get bound together and locked inside a manor. Very much angst and fluff. (Complete)

Isolation by @ bexchan : This fic has somehow become a staple to the Dramione community. This takes place post-Half Blood Prince. “ Ron and Harry are Horcrux hunting and Hermione has been left at Hogwarts to help the Order make it safe for the other students. Draco is forced by Snape to stay in Hogwarts for his own protection, but he can't leave the room he is given; Granger's room. Hermione is the only student trusted with this information, so her and Malfoy share the small space, and Draco tries to avoid insanity as he becomes increasingly isolated with only the Mudblood for company. Something's going to give.” Read this one awhile ago. I think I’m due for a reread because I don’t remember all of the details. (Complete)

Never In Heart by @ In_Dreams :  “ Hermione Granger had never anticipated that Draco Malfoy would be her best friend, a decade after the war. She'd also never meant to wind up trapped in a marriage pact, borne of one late night with too much wine. But as his thirtieth birthday draws near, time will either seek to push them together or drive them apart.” This is heavy on the pining and is definitely a Friends to Lovers fic. It’s uber sweet but can get a bit heart-achey at times cause they’re idiots in love. I think this is also the shortest rec I’ve put on this list... (Complete)

Splash of Colour by @ kyonomiko : Here’s a fun short fic rec. This one’s 3 chapters and just recently finished updating. Hermione accidentally has a spell cast on her that makes her see the entire world in a different colour of the rainbow every day. But for some reason Draco is a different colour from everyone else. I thought it was pretty cute. (Complete)

Literally anything and everything that @senlinyu has ever written. Literally all of it. I’ve read every fic they’ve put on AO3. Manacled, All You Want, Love & Other Misfortunes, The Creature Anthology, etc. These works tend to lean towards darker themes, heavy smut or both. They also write a lot of creature fics which is my absolute favourite kind of AU. Sometimes the Omegaverse is traipsed into *coughs shamefully* I blame reylo tumblr for exposing me to that. Love & Other Misfortunes is a Veela!Draco vic and also the first Dramione fic I ever read. I fell in love with it. Manacled is my favourite fic I’ve ever read. Like out of any fandom. It’s so tragic and has what I consider the best portrayal of a morally grey Hermione that I’ve ever seen. However it is VERY dark and can be very triggering so please be careful and check the tags before even attempting to read it.

There are literally hundreds of one shots that I’ve read. Most of the soulmate oneshots are lovely and I’ve gone through the ‘Pining Draco Malfoy’ tag one too many times now. Also the ‘Veela Draco Malfoy’ tag.

I think I’ll cut myself off here. I definitely also recommend going through that list of Dramione fics I just recently reblogged as well. They have a lot of fics on there that are great and I intend to check out some of the ones I haven’t read yet. I really should start utilizing the bookmarks feature on AO3... That would’ve been a lot easier T^T But I had a lot of fun just gushing about some of my favourite fics. Dramione has been such a massive fixation these past 7-8 months.

[multifandom-worlds]

Lucien prompt : please come home

Thank you for the prompt! You didn't specify your pronouns so I used she/her. I hope that's alright. Feel free to let me know and I can easily change the pronouns. I wasn't sure if you wanted angst or fluff so I did angst.

--------------------------------------------------------

Genre: Angst

Rating: SFW

Word Count: 1061

Prompt: "Please, just come home"

"Please, just come home."

I have done many morally reprehensible things in my time. The blood of many stains my hands a red only I can see. I am not a good man, try as I might. I always find my way back to her, she said I would, afterall.

I stand before the door to my apartment, a home I share with my butterfly, my little fool. She doesn't know. She doesn't know the amount of lives that have been snuffed out on my word or by my own hand. Each day, the weight of my past weighs heavy on my mind and heart, threatening to spill from my mouth in a tidal wave, leaving no survivors in its wake. What would she do when she finds out the man I am? Turn me over to the Special Task Force, I wouldn't hold it against her.

A sigh slips from my lips, the cold touch of metal in my palm drawing me from my thoughts into the bleak, colourless world around me. I look down, the keys to my apartment in my hand, poised and ready to unlock the door, to enter into my home where my partner waits eagerly for me to return. Waits for me to tell her stories from the lab, although the lab was not where I was today.

My hand falls short, unable to put the key in the lock. I turn on my heels, walking down the hallway towards the front doors of my building, resigning myself to walking the streets of Loveland well into the early hours of the morning, only to return to my home when my partner is away. It's not that I don't love her - on the contrary, I love her with nearly every fibre of my very being. It's because of the love I have for her that I cannot face her.

Stepping out onto the sidewalk, the cool breeze kisses my cheeks. I close my eyes, learning against the hard brick, focusing my thoughts.

Am I doing the right thing?

Yes, yes I am doing the right thing, she cannot know what it is I've done today. Opening my eyes, I push off from the wall, turning left and walking towards the centre of the city, hands curled into fists shoved in the pockets of my coat. I could feel eyes on me but I refused to turn around, afraid of who's eyes I would meet once I did.

Walking towards the city centre, usually filled with such beauty and colour, now stands in shades of grey, looming over me, judging me. My phone rings, a sharp contrast to the silent road. Pulling it from my pocket, my little fool's name shines bright. Why, butterfly? Why are you calling me?

With a heavy heart, I press the decline button, the screen turning dark, the only thing I see is the reflection of a man I hardly know. I study that reflection for a brief moment before returning my phone to my pocket. The ding of an incoming message comes moments later.

"Where are you? Why didn't you come inside?"

So it was her I felt, watching as I left. I was hoping I could sneak off, undetected into the world but I knew, deep down that was impossible. There's no escaping her, she's stuck in my heart forever.

Leaving the message unread, I place the phone back in my pocket, continuing my aimless wandering of the city. Forgive me please, honey. I'm trying to spare you the heartbreak. I was never meant to fall for you but here you are, the colour of my life, the only one who's able to make me feel things I thought had long since died.

"Lucien!"

I stopped dead in my tracks, my entire body stiffening - I knew that voice. I calm my frantic heart before opening my mouth to utter words I never wanted too.

"Go home, Lucien isn't around."

"That's bullshit!" She calls back, anger dripping from her words. She has never spoken back to me before.

I turn, masking my expression, just like I do every day, a careful display chosen to keep suspicions away. Before me she stands, shoes untied and no coat, her bare arms exposed to the cold.

"I told you, go home. You don't know who you're talking to" I state, matter of factly. She does not waiver but stands her ground.

"I know exactly who I'm talking to. Black Swan agent, Ares." Her eyes glare daggers into me, testing for a weak spot.

How did she know? How long has she known? I take a step towards her, the colour coming back to the world around us. The wind blows cold, a shiver crawls its way up my spine.

"That's not all I know, Ares. I know how many evolvers you've killed. I also know, Ares is not who you are."

"You know nothing, butterfly." I fought the urge to reach for her, to pull her close to me, and warm her with my body heat.

"Don't "butterfly" me, Lucien! You don't get to use that name anymore. You lied to me!" She screams, tears threatening to spill from her beautiful eyes.

This is what you wanted, right, Lucien? You wanted her to hate you, to despise you. So why do her words cut so deep? Why does seeing her crying break every defense I have carefully constructed over the years? How do I respond?

Her soft sobs break through, pulling my thoughts back to reality. "Please Luci..please just come home"

For the first time in as long as I can remember, I was speechless. Standing there, the cold overtaking us, she wraps her arms around herself, trying to keep herself warm as we stare at each other.

Come on Lucien. You need to do something. You're going to lose her for good.

"I..I guess not. I'll have my stuff out by the morning.." she whispers, so quiet I barely heard it myself. She turns on her heels, facing our home before she walks away from me. I reach out for her arm but she slips away from me, my feet rooted to the ground.

I never knew how hard it would be to watch her walk away from me. The colour drains from the world the further she moves away.

"Butterfly…?"

[where-theres-smoak-2]

This might just be me, but I felt like Alina's charcoal gray/black running away outfit was very similar to Young Aleksander's black/gray soldier's uniform. The long outer layer with pants definitely invoked a similar feeling. Also, I noticed Young Aleks also had a cut on his forehead similar to Alina's. His was right above his right eye. And even before the LP, I noticed Alina had tiny braids in her semi-loose hair like Young Aleks rocked. That was a very noticeable detail in his longer hair.

I can definitely see where you are coming from. I do think it is interesting that after Alina wears the black Kefta we see her alot in those darker colours. Excluding the gold kefta (although it did have black detailing) we see her in dark clothing. In these scenes after she has runaway she has that dark grey coat and the black clothes under it. I agree that I do think they have similar vibes to Young Aleks' soldier uniform with the long coat and trousers. Also Alina is wearing a belt which appears similar to Aleks' you can see the buckle better in this slightly better quality picture:

I like that she has that black clothing but then over the top is the grey coat, its darkness, something uniquely linked to Aleks, but mixed with a bit of light for Alina, maybe it could also be a hint that she will go down a morally grey path later. For some reason it also makes me think of her light grey dressing gown that she wore during darklina's first kiss and the war room scene in ep 4. As I think you have pointed out in the past she also wears that black cloak over a dark purple dress in the finale when she and co board the ship at the end.

Again the darker colours is an interesting costume choice, especially when the colour black is so linked to Aleks. It's hard not to think of them as a pair when you see Alina in that colour. Of course her wearing this black cloak makes sense within the story as I am pretty sure its the cloak Aleks gives her at the end of ep 7, its a good cloak and its cold so on one hand of course she would keep it, but I think in the book, if I remember rightly, M*l buys them new clothing and they must have got the dress from somewhere so you could argue that they could have traded that cloak for another cloak or supplies, especially as it must remind her of Aleks. But its also possible I am thinking way too much about it.

Also like you mentioned there are the braids. We actually see Alina with these braids quite often, particularly after she gets to the little palace. We see her with them at her demonstration:

Also she has them during the fountain scene as well:

But the other thing I noticed is that she also has little braids in her updo look for the winter fete in episode 5 so she has them in both darklina kiss scenes:

And yes I am using this as an excuse to post pretty darklina pics. What is also interesting is that during the scenes where she is with M*l post LP she has her hair completely loose. So I do think that the braids and the dark colours are suppose to draw a link between darklina. It is definitely a similarity between the two them. Also, I think this might be something you've pointed out before, but it could be significant that there are several occasions mostly in ep 5,7 and 8 where Alina has her hair up when with Aleks, but loose with M*l, which again is interesting because typically it was married women who wore their hair up. That coupled with the scene in the war room where they are in their nightclothes and the scene where Alina is helping Aleks into his Kefta and there seems to be alot of domestic/marriage/husband and wife vibes when it comes to darklina. Again interesting choice considering one of them is supposedly the villain of the story. But as I said before I could just be looking way too much into it.

[aperfecttimeforscreaming]

10 reasons why a poorly adjusted adult Dib is a Valid headcanon

1. Dib is/was a neglected child

Dib doesn’t have a parent that he can lean on and go talk to for advice, his father is frequently out of the picture and doesn’t give a shit about the thing that Dib cares about. Dib is actively encouraged by his neglectful father to give up on it, actually. I believe this would make Dibs stubborn streak really bitter and spiteful. Most people reading this are LGBTQ+, I assume I don’t need to explain how a fucked up an isolated upbringing, or being unable to be yourself around a parent, hurts you in the long run. 

2. Dib is bullied for the things he is passionate about, and being bullied heavily colours your perception of other people 

The world of Invader Zim is not kind, Dib is frequently harassed by his classmates/superiors/family for his outbursts/lectures/overall investigator shtick. 

Now you might say “but, Screaming, wouldn’t Dib learn to tone it down as he got older?” and YEAH. Probably! But does that mean that he would just forgive all the people that made his life horrible before that point? Or who socially ostracized him for the things he’d done in the past? No. No one is under any  obligation to forgive anyone who hurt them, and I think Dib wouldn’t even try to forgive someone he saw as intellectually inferior 

3. Dib is a selfish rich kid

Dib is selfish. He wants to be the protector of earth- but he doesn’t do it for earths sake. He’s clearly doing it as a cry for attention/ a reason to eventually be vindicated for being spit on by his own kind.  I don’t think he would have genuine empathy for other people. If he did have it, it’d have to be something he had to work really hard at. However, I don’t see Dib putting much effort into understanding other humans. 

Dib is rich (probably). This one being more of a headcanon- in the series Dib wants for no material object, he wastes technology on his explorations like it’s something he can just pick up from the dollar store, his father is a world renowned scientist with access to crazy technology and the ears of world leaders. I think he’d feel entitled to one or two things 

4. Gaz is not her brothers keeper. 

She’s not responsible for his mental health, she’s not responsible for keeping him in line and “normal”. Most of the time she doesn’t want a damn thing to do with him. If we’re going by the standards of the IZ tv show, the only times that Gaz interfered with Dibs paranormal investigations were when Professor M. Was also involved. Either she wanted to see her dad and Dibs antics were getting in the way (forcing her to intervene), or she was directly ordered by their dad to keep Dib out of trouble.  Sure, you could argue that she would beat the shit out of Dib for doing something she didn’t like- but that wouldn’t “fix” the mind of a very stubborn person. It might even make them dig their heels in even deeper out of spite and bitterness as a “fuck you I’m right you’re wrong” 

Furthermore, as Gaz gets older she’s going to have her own life to worry about and might stop tolerating the way Prof. M uses her as a middle man to deal with his “poor insane son”. She’s under no obligation to fix any of the phases Dibs life might go through. If Dib was unpleasant enough, and Gaz had the resources to leave, I think she might just bail on him. 

5. Dib is arrogant 

He's gonna do what he thinks is the best course of action unless you physically stop him from doing so. He comes from a place of thinking that he is right, the opinion of anyone else is secondary. Dib will do “what needs to be done” for “the greater good”. Whatever he thinks that “good” is. He wants to play the white knight at any cost. He cannot be in the wrong, or that bravado towards being righteous in the end crumbles. I think Dib would subscribe to a “the ends justify the means” mentality

6. Dib would harm another person to get what he wanted

In a room with a moose, Dib debates letting himself die just to take his entire class down with him. In the unaired episode “return of Keef”, he co-operates with Zim in an attempt to make Keef explode, because he thinks Keef is irritating. Dib used Gaz to test out an ancient spell book, cursed Gaz to only taste pork, and then only helped fix the problem when threatened with physical violence. This could be the kind of thinking that gets worse over time as more people mock his attempts to save and protect them. Why care about people that don’t even give a shit if they live or die?  Dib is a smart fringe personality in his world, and the otherness that he feels for that could lead to a sociopathic way of thinking if things went bad enough 

7. Dib does not care about other peoples personal space

Dib hides cameras in Zims house. Dib ran right past the front gate at NASA Place, Dib chased a baby big foot up a radio tower. Dib bullied Zim physically on the playground using his known weaknesses against him. Dib would do anything to get the evidence he needed to prove what he wanted to prove, and that would get him in trouble. Repeatedly

8. Antisocial tendencies (like spending countless hours fused to a chair, or most of your young adult life spent hunched over a desk at a computer screen) make it difficult to smoothly socially integrate, and the world of Invader Zim is fuckin' mean

You know the world he comes from is mean. However, assuming Dib did find community somewhere, who’s to say they would agree with him? Or like him? Maybe one of them would cause problems for him that were bad enough he’d have to leave. I’ve always found that the IZ portrayal of earth to be like this funny cynical parody of a dystopian police state america. If we’re going by “what can go wrong will go wrong”, Dibs social integration wouldn’t get easier without a bunch of effort on Dibs part. Maybe Dib would have to pretend to be somebody unlike himself just to get by in his day to day adult life. If we see Dibs country of residence as a police state, the world Dib grows up in would encroach heavily on his personal privacy, and that might make him even stranger via paranoia 

9. Sadistic tendencies towards anything paranormal (obsessed with the act of dominating and exposing the unknown)

Dib is a fucking jerk to Zim (rightfully so), but Dib is a dick to pretty much every supernatural thing he comes across. Either out of an excess of enthusiasm, or using a supernatural being to further his own plans, or from an invasion of privacy, or being an irritant to the entity he’s dealing with. He LIKES to be mean to them.  He  wishes to have mastery over knowing how they work. (maybe it’s more fair to say Dib is a voyeur?)  

This is more headcanon than anything, but I don’t think it’s a stretch to say he might also want to control the paranormal for his own purposes. If Dib could say- catch a ghost in a jar so he could show it to everyone, he’d do it. If he could trick a werewolf into transforming on stage in front of a large audience? He’d do that.

10. Dib is created to be Zims equal

Dib is as “evil” as Zim is and vice versa. Neither of them is good, or pure, or morally justified. It’s a nice little grey dynamic. Both characters think they’re entirely in the right when they act. That they often aren’t in the right is fun because then you get to write/draw/ think about how they’d react to the consequences. Dib could still totally be a hero in his own mind, despite setting an apartment block on fire to flush out a coven of litches.

The reverse of this is also true, Zim can do nice things, and occasionally be good as Dib can be good. I figure the Zim/Dib dynamic changes for everyones interpretations at least somewhat. Having Zims terrible actions rub off on Dib as their battles escalate is a really fun way to go about exploring their relationship 

11. I like the it

There is no right or wrong way to enjoy a cartoon character! Live to make yourself happy in fandom! If you ever thought you needed permission to create rancid content, I’m sorry you felt pressured not to do it. 

You want to make a serial killer Dib?? You want to make a basement dwelling depressed zit covered Dib?? You want to make a Dib who struggles with his trauma through substance abuse?? Go HAM!! 

[chaoticspacefam]

🖊🖊 for Ni'kasi and an oc of your choice 👀

Thanks for the ask, Pinky! apparently my brain has decided “gush” means “throw lots of random fun facts at everyone” today so here we go! Here’s your favourite tomato gal! :3

-She and Saarai were always twins and I’d always intended for them to be close, and the bare-bones basic premise of how I wanted their relationship to work was “Saarai is the brawn and Kas is the brains”. While this is still true, it did evolve ever so slightly in that Saarai is now also the (more reliable) moral compass. Kas isn’t particularly Dark-sided, but she’s not Light-sided either, she’s inherited a lot more of mom’s “I will do what I have to to get a job done even if that means I have to kill a bitch” attitude XD

-When I first came up with the idea for the twins, Kas’s name was originally going to be “Jen” which is the High Sith word for “hidden, or in shadow” (”Saarai” is the High Sith word for “Truth”, for reference ;) ) ; so their names joined together would have meant “Hidden Truth”. I don’t remember where Ni’kasi came from because it isn’t an “actual” Sith word nor does it have particular meaning (though I might try to make one up, we’ll see :P), but the very first time I went to write down solid bios for them I ended up writing “Ni’kasi” instead of “Jen” for her and it’s stuck ever since then.

-Initially, Kas’s colour pallette was a lot lighter, which you can see in all of her screenshots up till now (cause I forgot to change her when I changed the design earlier this year oops :’D) and also in this art piece I ordered of her last year, here:

(art is by @/cerculor on deviantART)

and the twins were very darn near close to being identical, but I decided that I actually rather liked their dad’s more purple-ish skintone earlier this year and that it was a shame neither of the twins looked a bit more like him, so I changed Kas up a bit and gave her dad’s skintone, jaw spurs and eye colour. She’s got mom’s red-tinted hair and (mostly) mom’s ridge/browstalk structure though :D

-Great with her own kids and direct blood relatives (e.g. nieces, nephews, grandchildren), but kinda iffy with other, random children. She won’t hurt them but she’s very much D’leah’s child in that respect, she’s very “Sith-y”, and liable to be abrasive, unsympathetic and so on. Generally not the sort of presence you’d want around your kids... there will definitely be tears hahahaha

-The scar on her eye was originally going to be caused by D’leah in the same fight that she gets Saarai’s nose, when Ni’kasi got between them to try and break up the scuffle, but I retconned that instead when I re-thought some stuff about that so now she gets it from the Inquisitors after they figure out who killed Ty’s dad and come after them.

-This is also how Kas ends up in the slave pens, after they kill D’leah they throw Ni’kasi into slavery (which is a bit of plot armour/oversight on the Inquisitors part, I admit but shhh XD) and figure y’know “she’s never gonna get out of there again”. A lot can happen, and be forgotten, in 60 odd years tho so eventually they do throw her back into the Academy much to Kas’s surprise.

-She has a lot more scars other than the one on her eye, just that most of them are on her back, or the back of her neck, so you generally can’t see them (I haven’t drawn a scar ref for her yet, it is also on the to-do list lol)

And we random-rolled Aria for this one, so more Tiny Sith nonsense!

(art is by @/ocellifera on deviantART)

-Aria’s hairstyle and general appearance actually came about because it was based on my second-favourite “portrait” choice for the PC in KOTOR II. She wasn’t how I saw my version of the Exile looking, but I really liked the design (including the little blonde fringe streak) so I decided I wanted to do something with it! <3

-We don’t get to see it much because usually when I draw her she’s back with the Sith and fully into the “Dark side” portion of her story and therefore her eyes are amber, but here you go, a nice glimpse of Aria’s natural eye colour! As mentioned on Myla’s ask, she has heterochromia as well, though her grey is “lighter” than Myla’s as she inherited the grey from dad and the brown from mom (yes I know technically it doesn’t work like that but basically I couldn’t decide which one I liked better so instead of agonising over the choice I went “one of each, problem solved” XD)

-Aria was actually the very first SWTOR-era OC I made, very closely followed by her dad, Roan, and then Vano, then her mom when I worked on her backstory, and followed by everyone else haha. I created her for an RP on an RP site that got a couple of posts in and then died/my partner ghosted me for whatever reason (I’ve never found out nor does it matter really), I was disappointed because I really liked Aria and didn’t get to “do much” with her, so I recycled her when another RP popped up, used that to build her backstory and prompt me to start the Subterfugeverse and then threw her into the Zephyrverse AU RP with my buddy k-christine once she got back in touch and we started RPing again :D -Aria gave me the most trouble (other than maybeee Saarai) in terms of finally nailing down what her sexuality was. I had no idea what she’d be at all when I first made her, other than I knew this binch wasn’t straight hahaha. So first, I defaulted her to bi, but then that didn’t seem to fit her much (I didn’t know pansexuality was a thing at the time), then during my self-projection phase I considered leaving her as just a lesbian but she wasn’t happy with that either and eventually I figured out pan is a thing and she started jumping up and down and screaming HELLO YEAH THAT ONE!! at me. The only thing that was for sure obvious to me was that she’s demiromantic, because while she can get around and doesn’t care who with (insert “will fuck anything (humanoid) with a pulse” joke here), the romantic feelings often attached to that for other people take a long time to develop for Aria.

[a-froger-epic]

NASTALLY'S ❇️Q U E E N❇️ FIC

📝 = (semi-)regular updates

❓= will update eventually

🧊 = on ice

✅ = complete

Freddie Mercury/Roger Taylor

Froger - Love & Sex (18+):

Dawn of Aquarius [the epic] ✅ - Roger and Freddie meet in 1969 and change each other's lives. (romance, sexual awakening, coming of age, YA drama, period-typical homophobia, family drama, realism)

Good Company ✅ - collab with @quirkysubject The Queen boys accidentally on purpose watch porn together. (friends to... still friends but with interesting wanking habits, internalised homophobia, pining, humour)

Dreams of Tomorrow 📝- collab with @tikiniki A mad, medieval fantasy adventure with the Queen boys. (troubadour AU, adventure, fantasy, friendship, magic, origin stories, vikings, battles, a donkey called Tootsie)

Dawn of the Living Dead ❓ - It's the zombie apocalypse in 1971. (horror, dark comedy, blood & gore, insanity, friendship)

The Miracle ❓ - A slightly different take on the A/B/O trope. (mpreg, friends to lovers, kid!fic, parenthood, emotional realism, discrimination)

the eye of the beholder ✅ - Roger buys a video camera. (established relationship, script format, humour, light-hearted)

Time Waits for No One ✅ - collab with @bisexualroger Freddie and Roger's relationship through the years. (Christmas themed, sad, life has no happy endings, grief, acceptance, breakup, lovers to friends, death)

Sehnsucht 🧊 - Roger visits Freddie in Munich. They have a past. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, pining, friendship, life has no happy endings, hurt/comfort, but mostly hurt)

Froger - Love:

A Kind of Magical Adventure (and the Spider from Mars) ❓ - collab with @plainxte​ The Doctor Who/Queen crossover nobody asked for! (friends to lovers, there was only one bed, fluffy Christmas space adventure)

The Only Exception ✅ - On a night out, something is rekindled between Roger and Freddie. (drug use, pining, past relationship, the one that got away, some humour)

Foxey ✅ - Freddie gives Roger an impromptu lapdance. (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, fluff, humour, established relationship)

Secret ✅ - Brian is a good secret keeper. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, handholding, angst and fluff, mostly fluff)

I put a spell on you (because you’re mine) ✅ - A Halloween special. (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, breakup, angst, humour)

Incidentally Homosexual  ✅ - Roger wants to talk to Freddie about the Kinsey scale and sexuality.  (Dawn of Aquarius missing scene, internalised homophobia, pure fluff, soft boyfriends)

It’s Grim Up North (But There’s Light Up Ahead) ✅ - collab with @pumpkinlilyao3​ One time Roger saves Freddie, and one time Freddie saves Roger. (Friends to lovers, violence, slurs, angst, happy ending)

Promise ✅ - Roger and Freddie prepare for a special event in 2015. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, Freddie lives, growing old together, pure fluff)

Tootsie’s Story ✅ - How Roger rescued a donkey. (Dreams of Tomorrow prequel, fantasy, adventure, troubadour AU, established relationship)

Ooh Love, ooh Loverboy… ✅ - Freddie through Roger's eyes. (established relationship, internal monologue, tooth-rotting fluff)

Romantic Drabbles ❓ - A mixed bag of Froger romance.

Froger - Porn Without Plot (18+):

A is for Amsterdam ✅ - Roger and Freddie walk into a sex shop. (Established relationship, bdsm, sex toys, dom!Roger, sub! Freddie, a bit of fluff and humour too)

B is for Bound ✅ - There's something Freddie would like to do. (Established relationship, bdsm, non-con play, dom!Roger, sub!Freddie)

C is for Control ✅ - There's something Roger would like to do. (Established relationship, mild bdsm dynamics, switching, top!Freddie, fluff)

D is for Discipline ✅ - Freddie turns a game into something a little more serious. (Spanking, bdsm, power dynamics, subspace, referenced cheating, guilt, dom drop)

Right until the ends of the Earth ✅ - Romantic piano sex. (Inspired by Dawn of Aquarius, mild bdsm dynamics, romance)

Tight Squeeze  ✅ - collab with @bambirexwrites fem!Queen; Regina and Freddie go shopping for shorts. Regina has some trouble fitting into them. Freddie helps her feel better. (Established relationship, body worship, semi-public sex)

One Fine Morning  ✅ - Freddie is trapped between two primal urges. (Established relationship, mild omorashi, morning sex)

Smutty Drabbles ❓- A mixed bag of Froger sexytimes.

Froger - Gen/shippy Gen:

Good Times (Better Times) ✅ - How Freddie met Roger, a Dawn of Aquarius prequel. (internal monologue, the Kensington pub, art student Freddie)

that special brew ✅ - That time Freddie accidentally drank marrijuana tea. (humour, Roger being a very sweet friend, light-hearted)

a joke nobody tells ✅ - Newly formed Queen dynamics or: not even Roger knows what is going on in Freddie's head. (group dynamics, insecurities, fear of failure, hurt/comfort)

Ghosts ✅ - Freddie’s arrival in Australia awakens some memories he would rather forget. (angst, referenced past sexual assault, friendship, hurt/comfort)

Including Love ✅ - Freddie and Roger love each other. But perhaps, not in that way. Or do they? (Roger-centric, character study, period-typical attitudes, male friendship, bromance)

Freddie Mercury

that which is good ❓ - Freddie meets Kenny. Two gay men struggling to find themselves, find comfort in each other’s friendship. (Angst, internalised homophobia, male friendship, hurt/comfort) 

Moments ❓ - A collection of moments in Freddie’s life. (Vignettes, angst, fluff, death, life, everything)

with my trust like a child ❓ - collab with @aboutnothingness A look at several of Freddie’s birthdays throughout his life (Hurt/no comfort, hurt/comfort, internal monologue, implied underage, heavy angst)

The God Abandons Antony [Freddie Mercury/Joe Fanelli] 🧊 - collab with @freddieofhearts​ On tour in the US, Freddie meets somebody new. (Internal monologue, angst, euphoria, new love, romance, cheating)

Rapture and Solace ✅ - 1991. (Internal monologue, fear of death, terminal illness, acceptance, background Jimercury)

to the bone (18+) ✅ - A police officer lets Freddie off the hook, in exchange for a favour. (Period-typical homophobia, abuse of power, sexual assault, hurt/no comfort)

Ménage à Deux  ✅ - An exploration of Freddie’s friendship with Barbara Valentin. (Dubcon, recreational drug use)

Naughty ✅ - Freddie's mind wanders while he poses nude for a life drawing class. (Internal monologue, some humour, internalised homophobia)

Don’t You (Walk Away) [Freddie Mercury/Winnie Kirchberger] ✅ - After a fight with Winnie, Freddie contemplates his life in Munich. (Hurt/No Comfort, toxic relationships, angst)

Freddie Love ❓ - Freddie-centric drabble collection.

Freddie Mercury/Brian May

As it Began ✅ - Freddie goes to write his dissertation at Brian's house. (Smile Era, boys with a crush, friendship, first kiss, angst, hurt/comfort)

Blacklight in Zero Gravity (18+)  ❓ - It's 2029, Freddie Mercury is working as a stripper and one night, the mysterious Brian May walks into his life. (Modern AU, sex & drugs, pining, humour, angst, fluff, romance, morally grey characters, smut)

Click! ✅ - Freddie meets a guy he just can’t get off his mind at work. (Modern AU, photographer!Freddie, model!Brian, social media, humour, meet cute)

the sun and moon and stars are you ✅ - Freddie and Brian are expecting, and getting ready for a Halloween party. (trans!Freddie AU, pregnancy, humour, fluff)

The Sound of Your Fear ✅ - Brian and Freddie stay in a very creepy hotel. (Ghost story, terror, haunted house, platonic/pre-slash Maycury)

Dreams of Tomorrow (18+) [Maycury, Froger, Joger] 📝 - collab with @tikiniki​ A mad, medieval fantasy adventure with the Queen boys. (troubadour AU, adventure, fantasy, friendship, magic, origin stories, vikings, battles, a donkey called Tootsie)

Freddie Mercury/Jim Hutton

Maybe I’m Amazed ✅ - Freddie is upset about an argument with Jim, who surprises him. (Angst, hurt/comfort, romance and fluff)

Interlude ✅ - Freddie has a great time at his 39th birthday party - for the most part. (Angst, non-consentual drug use, hopeful ending)

Sticks and Stones ✅ - Freddie reads a headline she wishes she hadn’t seen. (Fem!Jimercury, body image, fluff, happy ending)

Other Ships

Dawn of the Living Dead (18+) [Poly!Queen & Froger] ❓ - It's the zombie apocalypse in 1971. (horror, dark comedy, blood & gore, insanity, friendship, smut)

Kneel Down by Your Side and Pray [Maylor & Johnica] 🧊 - collab with @quirkysubject @tikiniki and @plainxte In a dystopian world where slavery is the norm, four young men struggle with their circumstances. (Dystopian AU, violence, blood & gore, sexual abuse, angst, friendship, hurt/no comfort, pining)

Sacrifice (18+) [Maylor] ✅ - Roger is being sacrificed to the God of Fertility. (Fantasy AU, humour, Monty Python-esque, technically non-con but not angsty, satire)

Colour Me Surprised [Joger] ✅ - Roger helps John with his make-up. (Yearning, gay panic)

a bona cackle [OMC/OMC, background Froger] ✅ - Dawn of Aquarius spin-off ficlet. A phone conversation in Polari. (Period-typical attitudes, queer history)

Gen

and the rest is history ✅ - The day John Deacon auditioned for Queen. 

lazing on a sunny afternoon  ✅ - A short, sweet fem!Queen ficlet.

The Sound and the Fury ✅ - collab with @quirkysubject​ Roger is struggling when the past catches up with him. Brian is a good friend. (hurt/comfort, friendship, angst)

Not Like Other Groups ✅ - Queen escape from an angry gang of skinheads by means of a car chase. (humour, friendship, action)

Maple Leaves ✅ - John struggles with Freddie’s illness. (heavy angst, death, grief)

Non-Fiction

Interview With A Queen “Groupie” - I interviewed a lady who knew the Queen boys back when she was at Ealing Art School. Yes, really.

[gingus-doon]

Mishima for the character ask!

thank u for asking about one of my faves 😭😭💕

what i like about him

- THERE'S SO MUCH TO LIKE! first of all, he's very caring and that's just so endearing!! stg he would adopt like at least half of the cast unofficially had they not been in a death game / simulation– and his eccentricity makes him so much more interesting, as well! he's such a down to earth guy who's very sociable and nice but he's also pretty weird sjdbsn. the way he stands, his appearance, the way he throws (apparently) to his weird laugh. then there's also that scene where keiji told him he made the air smell like oil paint (WHICH SOUNDED LIKE SOME KIND OF JOKEY INSULT NGL) and mishima is like SO PLEASED about it??? AND IN REKO'S FONDNESS EVENT (1st i think) WHERE SHE JUST BERATES HIM BUT THEN MISHIMA'S LIKE "ACTUALLY THIS MAKES ME WANT TO BEFRIEND YOU MORE" SKFKSDN

i also just love his humility!! it's so funny sometimes, like when nao gives him that godawful bathing suit aND HE JUST AGREES TO WEAR IT FOR THE SAKE OF HER FEELINGS?? his willingness to work with people, as well, like how he didn't suggest gin take his cape off and how he literally took the time to draw on some shoes just for the sake of alice's safety. and then in that same fondness event, HE PROCEEDS TO BE ASSERTIVE IN THE KINDEST POSSIBLE MANNER LMAO. not to mention the selflessness in his sacrifice for nao?? like he's just too good and considerate and odd, we have to stan

—

what i don't like about him

- OOF there's not much for me to say for this part tbh KDKSDN. ignoring no-smoking signs is pretty bad akdjsj. i could say hypocrisy, as mishima also judged alice by his appearance, but i find that a very human flaw so it makes me like him more actually haha.

perhaps one thing that i actually was Spooked by was the existence in tragedy ending of ytts. it's really jarring and a little disturbing to see mishima so caught up in this own survival that his allies drop from his mind entirely (even nao!) but i can't really fault him for that since it is, again, a very human trait and it gives him depth. it's just spooky to see the juxtaposition of him caring so much to not even having them in mind, esp if you get one of the other endings first.

—

favourite scene

- there are sooo many good ones, it's hard to choose, but one of the ones i always think of is that leaf fondness event with gin!! i love mishima's consideration for gin's feelings (as mentioned before) and really, it's just so stupid and wholesome. like you'd think he'd would be smarter than to go back and forth like that but nope, gin's the one who comes in with the common sense akhsjdnns.

—

favourite line

- off the top of my head (as all these answers have been ekfhs) I LOVE HOW HE RESPONDS TO KANNA'S INQUIRY WITH "I'm eternally young, so I wouldn't know." LIKE THAT'S LITERALLY THE SMOOTHEST QUESTION DODGE EVER. WHAT A G LMFAO

—

favourite outfit

- ik he doesn't change outfits in the game but what if his default outfit was a dress shirt and a suit sjfhsjdn. i can't imagine him in casual clothes help 😭 i also considered turtlenecks but actually i think that would be kai's thing

—

otp

- of course keishima 😔😔 i could just go on about how perfect they are for each other for hours lmao. keiji is also the only person i ship with mishima?? like kaishima is ok i guess but it just doesn't hit the serotonin like keishima 👊 shunshima is alright too but i think i'd prefer it platonically

—

brotp

- my bias towards the characters is absolutely being exposed because it's not nao, but instead shin and hinako– reko too!!

though it's less of a brotp and more of me thinking that mishima would be a father figure to them AKDHSDJFJ. for an actual brotp in terms of friendship rather than mentorship, i think kai and q-taro would be really good friends with mishima and would b more like peers than pupils to him sjfhdj

—

headcannon

- i just think it'd be neat if mishima was one of those kinds of teachers who had an array of colourful and playful ties with a wide variety of dress shirt colours :> also maybe fun socks

—

unpopular opinion

- i'm really not exactly sure! the popular opinion on mishima seems to be that he's awesome, which i agree with lolol. and i haven't seen any content for him which i disagree with in particular (i think) so i don't really have any opinions to go against lol.

if i had to say something, though, i guess it'd be that he's not perfect ? as evidenced by the smoking thing (kazumi mishima is now a morally grey character because he ignores no smoking signs lmao) and the existence in tragedy ending, and any other subtle lapses in a flawless image. though, i don't think mishima is trying to keep up a flawless image so much as a moral one around children! he seems okay to discuss or touch on his deeper feelings in conversation in order to connect with people, and i think that's very neat

and i don't blame people for perceiving him as flawless, i often also struggle to grasp at whatever his more serious character flaws would be! especially since i usually write him with keiji, and keiji is... The Most Flawed so mishima comes off as an even better person in comparison.

—

a wish

- i don't think i have any wishes for mishima's character in the main game? like i don't expect him to come back to life or anything ajdhksn. SO, my wish is that nankidai will double up on the fondness events so that we'll see mishima from other people's perspective!! LIKE I AM SERIOUSLY HOPING FOR THIS SO HARD I NEED TO SEE KEIJI AND MISHIMA INTERACT MORE (and other ppl as well SKRHJSNS)

—

an oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen

- i know this would like, definitely not happen because there's absolutely no good reason at ALL for this to happen, but it'd break my heart if there was a twist pulled like woaahhh mishima's actually a bad guy wjdhd. that goes against the whole message of "don't judge a book by its cover" that his character conveys 😭😭 honestly i probably wouldn't even think about evil mishima if it wasn't for that ai thing in chap 2. THAT WAS SO FUCKED UP, WHEN I REPLAYED YTTD AFTER PLAYING YTTS I WAS JUST LIKE "HOW DARE YOU DESECRATE THE MEMORY OF KAZUMI MISHIMA LIKE THAT YOU BASTARDS"

—

5 words to describe him

- funky uncle with misleading appearance !

—

my nickname for him

- i don't really have one haha. i just call him mishima– though sometimes i do like to use full names for the characters so i will just be out here typing "kazumi mishima" in its entirety sjdbns.

i have hc nicknames for what other people would call him though! other people being keiji JSFHS. "kazu" or "mishi"

[pi-cat000]

MSA time travel idea (part 37)

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, Vivi POV, 8, 9, 10, Lewis POV, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, Lance POV 18, 19, Lewis POV 2, 21 , 22, Vivi POV 2, 24, 25  Lewis POV 3,  Mystery POV , Vivi POV 3, 29, Lewis POV 4, 31, ViVi POV 4 , 33, 34, Lewis POV 5, Mystery POV 2

Part 38: here

.

Lewis POV

To Lewis, it feels like blinking. Arthur’s workshop breaks apart, splintering into pieces which disintergate around him. The body snatcher, still clutching his shirt, still grinning, dissolves, flaking away. Darkness swallows up the scene leaving only an impression of poisonous green imprinted into his mind.  

When he opens his eyes, it is too pale moonlight and cool blues, greys and browns. He is standing in a clearing of loose rock and packed dirt. Vivi is standing several feet away surveying a grove of bent-looking trees. The bright blue of her sweater and skirt stands out against the muted background. Relieved, he tries to call out a greeting and maybe ask if she is okay but finds the action hard, bordering on impossible. 

He can’t talk. He can’t move either. 

“Are you sure about this one. It says to keep out.” 

Arthur’s voice, loud if slightly muffled, sounds like it is being filtered through a closed door. Vivi turns and hits him with a wide smile. 

“So have half the other places we’ve visited,” she answers, drawing Lewis’s attention to the numinous ‘keep out’ signs hammed into the ground between them. Where are they? Is what he wants to say. 

“Yeah, and I remember getting chased through a forest by a bunch of machete-wielding, red-cloaked wackos,” he finds himself asking instead in a voice suspiciously close to Arthur’s.   

Vivi walks a little way into the trees, disappearing, and-without his impute- Lewis’s attention drifts to examine the entrance to the foreboding cave looming over him. It is far too dark to see into.  He can feel himself breathe and shuffle with apprehension, though Lewis has never been one to fidget. 

“Sometimes, there’s a good reason for the keep out signs.” 

“I’m sure that was a one-off.” 

Lewis’s view quickly shifts, moving, reacting to the comment. And… he finds himself looking into a very familiar face. His own face. Stunned, Lewis stares at the second Lewis who wears an expression of amusement and concern, mouth curled into a loose smile. It's like looking in an uncanny mirror. 

Oh.  His own hand, other-Lewis's hand, lands on his, Arthur's, shoulder, giving a reaffirming pat. 

This is a memory. He is reliving a memory from Arthur’s point of view. That’s why everything feels disconnected and fuzzy around the edges. When tries to concentrate on areas outside Arthur’s line of focus the scene blurs. 

This is what that body snatcher had promised him… a look into Arthur's memories. 

It feels like he's stuck in some sort of hyper-real, virtual reality without any input controls. His ability to hear is muffled, and his sense of touch is muted, almost non-existent, so there is a distinct disconnection between himself and the scene. Despite this distance, it feels invasive. He’s not sure what he ought to have expected upon agreeing to see Arthur’s memories, but this isn't it. Lewis tries to shake his sudden discomfort and guilt, focusing instead on the other-Lewis as he talks. 

 Memory-Lewis looks pretty relaxed despite the disconcerting environment, commenting “If this has you really worried we can always wait out here while Vivi takes her supernatural readings.”

“No." Arthur sighs, waving away the concern, "It’s fine. Probably best not to let Vivi go spelunking with only Mystery as back up.”

“Just stick behind me. I’m sure this will be just as boring as all the other caves we’ve walked through.” 

There is an air of familiarity to their words, like traversing creepy caves is an everyday occurrence. Confused, Lewis searches his recent memories but comes up with nothing resembling this exchange. 

The group of three, having finished their light banter, start into the cave with Vivi in the lead. They talk like they’ve been planning this trip for ages.   Only, no, that can’t be right because Lewis can’t remember ever visiting a place like this with Arthur and Vivi. The cave, now lit with the flickering firelight of the torch Vivi's uncovered, is distinct enough that he would surely remember it.

How was this one of Arthur's memories if Lewis doesn't remember taking part in it? Is it even real or is this another lie? 

Vivi and the other-memory-Lewis walk down the sloping stone tunnel with Arthur quick to position himself between the two of them, so Lewis has a good view of the back of Vivi’s head. Mystery appears at Vivi’s feet, sniffing around, all dog-like. Lewis vaguely remembers Mystery conversing with the body snatcher before turning into a giant fox and biting his arm.  Details of the confrontation are a little fuzzy, Lewis being too preoccupied with his worry for Arthur at the time. This Mystery is acting normal. Arthur barely spares the dog a glance with his vision glued into Vivi. Occasionally, Arthur’s attention wanders over to the cave's uneven walls, examining shadows which waver in the firelight. 

“Maybe there’ll be an actual ghost this time and not a dude playing dress-up?” The other-Lewis comments from behind him. 

 “One can only hope,” Vivi’s voice echoes about and Arthur shudders at her volume, peering into a particularly dark crack in the wall before adding in a half-whisper, “Ah. Objection. A dude in a sheet is plenty scary, thanks. No need for anything else.”

Thankfully, the other-Lewis seems to be picking up on how nervous Arthur is because he attempts to lighten the mood. “Like weird-scary or scary-scary?”

Arthur glances over his shoulder, retorting, “Both.” The interaction is friendly and familiar, no trace of stiffness.  It is easy to imagine that, had they decided to travel around and follow Vivi’s original plans to investigate supernatural locations, then this is what it would have been like. he ease of the interplay, lacking any form of tension, is one that Lewis misses. He wants it back.

The lighter mood doesn’t last long because Arthur spots something moving along the cave walls. An elongated shadow appears and is gone quicker than Arthur can blink. Lewis’s sense of nostalgic longing turns to apprehension and fear. So caught up in enjoying watching Arthur interact with other-memory-Lewis, he had forgotten what this was. A fake memory or illusion designed to mess with him. 

Barely noticeable is a sinister shadow of a recognisable green colour. Arthur doesn't notice it, attention drifting. Lewis begins to study each stone surface around the small group. That thing is here. In the walls. In the floor. Watching and waiting…

“Let’s split up,” Vivi’s announces when the group arrives at a split in the larger tunnel. 

 “What? No way!” Lewis hears Arthur object to which he mentally agrees. Splitting up is definitely a bad idea… Other-memory-Lewis doesn’t appear to share his mindset, unbothered by the location, nodding along with Vivi like an idiot. 

  “Splitting up is a terrible idea. When has splitting up ever worked well for anyone?” Arthur continues. 

 Yes. Listen to Arthur! Even if this is some twisted illusion, Lewis still doesn’t want to see any of them hurt.  

 “If we split up, we’ll cover more ground and get through the cave system faster.” Vivi points out. 

 They’re not listening. 

 “Just remember to take lots of photos. Here have my spare EMF meter.”

 He watches Vivi and other-Lewis pass equipment between them. Arthur groans aloud, rubbing his eyes in frustrated exasperation. His friend is nervous, but not nervous enough to insist on them all sticking together. Lewis watched silently, worry mounting. 

 “Lewis. You go with Arthur. He’ll need the moral support more than I will.”

 “Hey,” Arthur mutters a half-hearted protest. 

 “I’ll take Mystery down that tunnel. Let’s meet up in, say, an hour and report our findings.”

 Mystery. Vivi’s mention of her not-quite-a-dog has Lewis’s attention drifting around. Surely, the dog would stop them from splitting up. In all the chaos and in between getting stabbed, Lewis is sure Mystery had been on their side. Even if the result had been less than ideal. They should stick together with Mystery so the dog could protect them all from whatever danger was lurking in the walls.

 Alas, Mystery seems oblivious, following Vivi as she walks off towards one of the tunnels.  No. What he wouldn’t give to be able to interact and warn the trio. 

Vivi pauses, glancing back.  “Oh, and if it gets too maze-like come back here, so you don’t get lost,” A familiar playful note colours her voice as she takes a light jab at his poor sense of direction, “And don’t fall down any holes.” 

 “We’ll be fine,” Other-Lewis reassures, amused while  Lewis stews in his worry, annoyed at his counterparts carelessness. Idiot. He’s pulled from his worry by the odd experience of getting caught in a headlock when Arthur is too slow to avoid his other-Lewis.  Lewis knows he’s above average height, but it’s a very different experience seeing and feeling it from Arthur’s perspective.

 Vivi snorts, waving, “See you boys in an hour.” She disappears into the dark, the blue of her shirt fading. 

 “You okay there Arthur?” 

 Arthur glances up at the other-Lewis, batting away his arms. 

 “Yeah. Come on. Let’s go poke around a dark, damp, tunnel some more.”

  Lewis might have found the sarcastic comment amusing if he weren’t so busy freaking out, trying to work out which of them the body snatcher will target first. Silently, Lewis watches, wishing he could smack the other-Lewis over the head. Arthur is obviously nervous, this cave is creepy as hell, and he doesn’t appear to care. 

 The trip down the tunnel becomes an expedition of heightening tension. A rope being slowly pulled to its breaking point. Every time the other-Lewis stumbles on a bit of uneven rock has him holding his non-existent breath. The low flickering light does nothing for the ominous atmosphere, causing Arthur to stumble as well, bumping into Lewis several times. Doom presses down on then. It reminds Lewis of a horror movie, in which he is stuck waiting for something terrible to happen. 

 They come to the end of the tunnel without interruption. A narrow stone walkway juts out ahead, ending in a sharp drop. The light of the torch reflects off the mossy walls and spike-covered ceiling and Arthur eyes the pointy stone formations with apprehension.  This is dangerous, Lewis thinks as Arthur shivers. 

 Other-Lewis confidently walks out ahead, leaving his friend to follow at a more cautious pace. If it were up to him he would be grabbing Arthur and dragging him out of this creepy cave system post hast. Sure, this cavern is impressive, but what about self-preservation?   

 It does not take long for the worse to happen. Distracted by the impressive scenery, Arthur trips and brushes up against the cave wall.  When Lewis sees Arthur’s arm start to turn green, everything rings with an overpowering déjà vu. This time, Mystery doesn’t jump in to immediately rip the infected limb free.

 “Hey, Arthur! Come check out this view!” Other-Lewis calls from where he looks to be attempting to peer down into the steep drop. Arthur lunches forward, arm outstretched and aiming for other-Lewis’s unprotected back. 

 “Lew..!” 

 His name is chocked off, so his counterpart doesn’t have time to turn around and brace himself. Lewis is treated to the somewhat horrifying sight of his own shocked expression as he disappears over the edge of the stone platform. He hears the other-Lewis yell, which echoes in the stone chamber, and then he only hears Arthur’s harder breathing. The sound is no longer muffled but distinct and sharp, taking over the memory. 

 Had…had he just watched himself die??

 The next sequence is also disturbingly familiar. White teeth. Bone snapping. Blood droplets spinning in the air. Unlike his own recent experience, Arthur doesn’t immediately blank out, so Lewis is treated to the phantom sting of pain, filtering through the bond. 

“Ah Shit.” He hears Arthur uncharacteristically say in contrast to the nightmare going on around him. Was that the body snatcher?? The scenery blurs and distorts so he no longer has a clear view.  

This couldn’t be real…This wasn’t a real memory because he definitely wasn’t dead. He'll wake up in the hospital, and Arthur and Vivi would be fine. They would work everything out. 

The cave dissolves, breaking apart and fading. 

....

Lewis blinks and opens his eyes to darkness. Complete and utter black presses in from all angles. The memory…or illusion because there was no way that had been a real memory… is finished. For a moment Lewis can’t think, brain stalling as he tries to process what he’s just witnessed. 

It couldn’t have been a real memory. But, if that where the case, then why show it to him? Too upset him?? Well, it has succeeded. Poor Arthur, he had probably been terrified. At least when Lewis had had his own arm bitten off, he had, sort of, understood that Mystery was trying to save him. Arthur and other-Lewis were taken completely off guard. He can’t image what they might have been thinking. Nothing good. Slowly he clenches his fist, drawing it into his chest, clutching it tightly.  When he looks down, he can see his hands and torso, giving off a faint lilac glow. It’s his own arm, whole and attached. There is solid ground beneath his feet, though, when he looks down, all he sees is the same bank darkness.  Lewis glances around in helplessly. Stuck in this empty void, all he can do is feel frustrated and trapped.  

Where is he?

 His vision blurs, and he blinks again. 

...

 Reopening his eyes, Lewis struggles to focus on an off-white ceiling lit by warm natural light. He is lying horizontally on a soft surface. For one brief moment, Lewis thinks he’s made it back to the real waking world. No more nightmare fake-memory. That overhead definitely looks like a hospital ceiling and he seems to be in a bed. 

 When he tries to move, he is faced with a familiar disconnection and lack of control. He still can’t quite feel his limbs or talk. 

 /Arthur./ 

 The voice seems to pull Arthur fully awake and his vision finally focuses, landing on Mystery who leaps nimbly into a vacant chair positioned adjacent to the bed. A curtain blocks out most of the room to his left and a window lets in fading sunlight on the right.

 Lewis is right about this being a hospital. The space is sparse, tilled with grey and white vinyl, consisting of a single bed, and two empty chairs, one with a blue denim jacket slung over the backrest. Bright red eyes catch the light of the fading sun, causing Arthur to flinch slightly under their unnerving intensity. At first, Lewis thinks there is something wrong with the memory when darkness tugs at its edges but quickly realises that it’s because Arthur is too drowsy to properly focus. 

 /You are awake./ The sentence is said with relief, sounding distorted to Lewis who is again relegated to watching from the sidelines. 

 “You’re talking?” Arthur mutters to himself. 

 /…Yes…/

“Oh…” 

 Mystery is silent and Arthur’s attention drifts away to examine the ceiling, vision continuing to dim. If Mystery waits any longer, Arthur is going to fall right back asleep. Lewis wishes he could ask the dog questions. He has so, so many questions about everything that has happened over the last 24 hours. 

 But no…he can’t as he is once again the silent observer. 

 /You do not remember either…/ Mystery’s voice is softer, reserved, almost as if speaking to himself. 

 “Remember...” Arthur repeats, blinking up at the ceiling so Lewis can’t see Mystery’s expression when he asks gently, /What is the last you remember, Arthur? /

“A cave… I think?”

 /Nothing else?/

 “Vivi and Lewis were there...” Arthur winces. Even with the sound muffled Lewis can hear Arthur’s confusion as he clings to consciousness. Mystery lets out a long breath, shuffling back, jumping from chair to the floor.

 /Go back to sleep Arthur. / Mystery, now out of sight, commands softly. The sound fades and Lewis is left alone in the dark, the memory finished. 

...

Once again, he blinks, and he is back in the empty space …still clutching his arm. Lewis glances around, mind churning. What had been the point of that memory? Maybe, it was supposed to mess with his head, tricking him into thinking he had awakened back in the hospital, giving him relief then snatching it away.   He doesn’t get the chance to properly contemplate the ramifications of the scene because the next memory starts suddenly with a lot of panicked movement and activity. 

....

 Instead of drifting back to consciousness slowly, Arthur snaps awake, lunching himself upright, arm outstretched like he's trying to grab something. Lewis’s perspective spins as he tries to reorientate himself within the new memory. Sunlight is streaming through the window, making the white walls and floor unbearably bright. Arthur apparently thinks so too because his vision distorts as his eyes water. 

 “Whoa! Arthur, you’re awake!” Vivi’s startled voice draws Arthur’s attention. His friend’s gaze snaps to her and he blinks rapidly.

 “Vivi…what…ugh...” Arthur groans, doubling over, gripping his bandaged shoulder. Even Lewis can feel a phantom sting of pain, captured faintly in the memory. It is a harsh reminder that this is his future as Lewis might also be faced with a missing limb upon wakening. Perhaps, foreshadowing Lewis’s future is the purpose of this particular fake-memory. 

“Where am I? What is this?”

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re in the hospital,” Vivi reassures and Lewis examines the darkened under her eyes and her gaunt features like she hasn’t been eating properly. The room is the same hospital room from the last fake-memory only it is now daytime. There is also a book, lying discarded, face down on the floor. Vivi had probably dropped it upon Arthur's sudden awakening. 

 “Mystery…Mystery was here…he was…ouch….” Arthur’s grip tightens on his shoulder. For several seconds the scene blurs and distorts as Arthur tries to control his breathing, panting heavily. 

"Why does everything hurt?"

“You shouldn’t be moving around so much…” Vivi answers gently, voice soft and careful. Arthur reaches pull at the bandages on his shoulder to which Vivi immediately grasps his…Arthur’s…hand. Lewis momentary struggles to separate the two, thrown by the affection the action inspires in him. 

“Hey, stop that.”

“My arms gone…” Arthur breathes, shivering, shifting his grip to squeeze Vivi’s hand, staring at her with wide eyes. Her expression radiates concern.

“I can’t remember anything.” Arthur stammers, growing more panicked.

 “The doctor said that’s normal for recent trauma suffers,” Vivi placates, returning the squeeze “…here, I’ll call the nurse now. They should probably be the ones to explain this…Also...I'll text Uncle Lance as well...he'll want to know you're awake...”

 “Trauma?” Arthur interrupts dumbly, looking from Vivi, who reaches for bed’s call remote and then her phone, to his bandaged shoulder like he’s not sure if it is real. Internally, Lewis winces, uncomfortable. Even if this is fake, it still feels like an invasion of privacy.  

 “Were we in an accident? I remember a…a cave or something... It was dark…green...” He shivers again. 

  “I…” Vivi’s voice wavers, sounding uncharacteristically hesitant. 

 “I can’t remember much either…” She admits, uneasy. 

 “Oh..I...I see.” 

They both appear equally confused, lapsing into a disconcerting silence. 

Lewis’s thoughts shift anxiously at the admission. Is it a good or bad thing that neither of them remembers that strange cave nightmare? Did that mean neither of them remembered his death? It had been a pretty traumatic event…maybe it is for the best that they don’t remember. But why include that in this set of fake memories? If the point of all this was to make Lewis suffer, then witnessing Arthur remember unwillingly pushing other-Lewis down a pit would be more upsetting for the both of them. Knowing Arthur, his friend would definitely blame himself for other-Lewis’s death. Surely, forcing him to watch his friend spiral into a circle of self-deprecation would be the worst sort of second-hand torture. 

 “What about Lewis? What does he remember…” Arthur asks suddenly, glancing around like he is expecting the other-Lewis to come strolling around the curtain. 

 Of course, there is no Lewis. If this was continuing on from the last memory then the other-Lewis was dead. Vivi doesn’t respond and Lewis’s feels a sinking sensation in the pit of his stomach . Or maybe it’s Arthur feeling that...hard to tell. 

 “Vivi?” Arthur glances back in time to watch Vivi’s expression slacken, eyes growing vacant. 

 “Vivi?” Arthur repeats, flustered, pulling at the hand still holding hers. Several seconds pass and Vivi stares, unfocused and unaware of Arthur and his increasing panic.  The memory ends with a nurse arriving and Arthur trying to physically shake a response out of Vivi.

.

 Lewis is left cut off from his two friends to fret in silent isolation. Around him the dark presses in once more. Even if the memories weren’t real, Lewis still feels a lingering pang of worry and distress at seeing either of his friends hurt. He would give anything to just...walk into that hospital room and alleviate Arthur’s fears and check on Vivi himself. Angry and anxious, Lewis waits for something else to happen. 

How many more of these disquieting, fake memories is he going to have to live through? 

...... 

Note: Hello! It’s been ages (^▽^;) here’s an update. Enjoy!

Part 38: here

[staghunters]

Thoughts on Stephen Fry’s Troy

Sorta review/critique. A thing to keep in mind is that I‘ve not read a direct translation of the Iliad so this really is my first experience of the epic besides general knowledge of it that is present in pop culture and such.

It’s a long one so I’ll put a break here

First off, there’s a little preface, map, olympian family tree, and timeline of the entirety of ancient history. Very nice to include, though I used these very little in my reading. Nontheless they can be useful for people who are very new to mythology and the layout of the ancient world.

I think I read the epilouge section titled myth and reality after the preface. Not sure why they put it in the back, perhaps for spoilers, but it functions good as a disclaimer before stepping into the main story. There is also a list of actors after this, which are again useful but not something I used a lot personally. 

Now for the main story! I’ll not be going over everything, just the things that stood out for me. Again disclaimer that this is the first time I read a version of the fall of Troy, so my impressions may deviate from ‘canon’ but be sure to correct me/add where you like.

I did not know Helena was a daughter of Zeus or that she had any brothers oof. (Arguably the brothers leave the story very early so I don’t think it’s that bad of me).

I like the idea of a lottery to determine who will marry Helena, but also think that Menelaus is an obvious choice. Given that they have lived together and know each other for a long time, they have a good foundation to build a relationship on.

Agamemnon comes across as an honourable man, but does not shy away from showing his emotions. Iphigeneia in Aulis is a touching section where he stalls the sacrifice of his daughter as long as possible and comes with counterarguments to make it not happen. Fry picks the version where Iphigeneia is spared by Artemis, but does not tell where she is taken which is a bit of a shame.

Odysseus is a smart bastard. I like that.

Paris goes from a kind boy to a selfish man, something that is adressed by characters in the story. I would not go as far as to say that he is Bad, but his morals are very grey.

His siblings and Hebe and Priamos are on the contrary quite reasonable the entirety of the story. They try to make things the best for Helena given the circumstances, and stand up to Paris when needed.

Hector is amazing wow.

I think Kassandra is the most present after him, but I’m not sure if I liked the way Fry chose to depict the whole seeing-the-future-but-nobody-listens because it is done quite literally. At key moments Kassandra is there to cry out her observations but is just not adressed by the others around her. It stands in contrast with Laokoon, who is acknowledged but also ignored. I feel like Fry could’ve brought some more creativity in this case. In general Kassandra feels like the odd one out of the Trojan siblings, not really seeming to be one of them.

Kind of continueing on Kassandra, Helenus is briefly mentioned at times and his foretelling of things is even more minimal. It would’ve been an easy step to make some sort of connection between him and Kassandra, but again I’m not sure if that is in the original text.

Achilles and Patroclus are very well done in my opinion. Achilles has his moments of anger and honour, and Patroclus is not a softboy standing on the sidelines. I always thought Patroclus took Achilles’ armour in secret but here he discusses it with Achilles and he agrees to let him borrow it. When Patroclus dies, there is a section of how fierce the battle for his body is, signaling how all the Greeks cared for him.  

Briseis also seems like an addition to Patroclus and Achilles, if that is the correct phrasing. The dynamics they have can make you interpret them as either Pat and Achilles acting like big brothers of Briseis, or a “X has two hands” kind of thing (where they all hold hands). 

Diomedes and Odysseus act like colleagues mostly, frequently going on missions together to get someone or infiltrate Trojan outposts. I thought it odd that when they steal the Palladion, Odysseus suddenly has the desire to kill Dio as to take the honor for himself. It is brushed of by Odysseus as being an influence of the Palladion, but seems more ambiguous in Fry’s wording. Regardless, seemed out of character regarding the bond the two have.

Helena has regrets later of going with Paris. Fry leaves the options open wether she acted under the influence of Aphrodite or if it was her own decision. Aphrodite does pop up at times to force something upon Helena. While not a sympathetic characterisation of the godess, it does serve as an example that the gods generally do not care much for the wellbeing of those involved in their “games”. This is underlined by Fry in regards to Thetis by saying that the gods generally do not feel much empathy for mortals and that Thetis is very much an exception in the case of Achilles.

Thetis is a bit of an overbearing mom in this, but it does not feel wrong per se.

The other gods come on the stage at some moments in the first half. After that Fry draws a line with Zeus further prohibiting them from interfering with the war.

The Trojan Horse has some detail and is not just ships in the vague shape of a horse a la Troy 2004. It’s got colours, expressions,  a very funky horse.

The siege from within is Brutal. Neoptolemos is definitely not his father and much more aggresive. Fry points out moments where some good was done but emphasizes that the party we have been with and somewhat rooting for the past pages is not free of commiting atrocities. Kassandra predicts her own death and Agamemnon’s to him. Fry did make him say that Klytaimnestra would probably understand/be happy for bringing back Kassandra as a slave. All in all adding to the fact that he does not hate his wife like some other adaptations/people like to suggest, but is instead oblivious or just naive for the fact that the sacrifice of Iphigenia harmed their relationship.

The main story ends with the gods being Disgusted by all of it. I’m assuming Fry will save a bit of the return of the Greeks for a book on the Odyssey which is fine I guess but leaves this one a bit open ended. 

Would recommend this if you’ve never read an Iliad story before and want something that provides you with extended information as well as fun facts about the events. It’s a very accesible read despite some of its flaws.

[mortemersgf]

mortemergf’s choices matchups

Hi! I would like to see what character you match me up with!

I would like to see if you could match me with any li in a romantic way (I don't have a gender preference) from these books; queen b, the elementalists or blades of light and shadow. 

Positive traits- brave, eloquent with words, pretty smart, people person, good listener, gives good advice, very ambitious

Negative traits- easily distracted, bad spending habits, so-so work ethic yet can be too competitive

Physical appearance- medium tan skin, brown eyes (I'm filipino if that helps), bow-shaped lips, round nose my hairstyle/colour is like this , I'm 5'5, legs are quite long, petite frame, I also wear glasses

Hobbies- watching youtube, neflix or disney+, reading, writing, swimming, shopping, drawing, playing the guitar, photography, traveling

Favorite hangout/dates spots- cafes, restaurants, malls, theme parks, festivals, spas, food trucks, treetop trekking parks

Favorite food(s)- Boba, Steak, Chicken, Seafood, Pasta, Or anything with cheese

My love language is quality time with and little bit of physical touch and receiving gifts

I really don't have a certain "type" in mind, but for some reason I typically romance the "tsundere" who is more-or-less morally-grey. (You don't have to follow this, you could mix it up for me if you like!)

Thank you so much for taking the time!!

i match you with . . . zoey wade from queen b !

- zoey’s the one for you! all of your positive traits are things that draws you to her. zoey wouldn’t hesitate to remind you of what’s truly important if you get carried away as well.

- new york is bustling with all of your favorite hangout spots! together with zoey, you could spend a whole day at the mall or spa, just doing some shopping or getting pampered to no end.

- sometimes though, you two would jump between several locations. you’d have breakfast at one of the best spots in the city, then head to an amusement park or a festival, ending the day by getting some dinner at a local food truck.

- because she has a ton of connections, you’d always find yourselves in the front row during festivals or concerts. afterwards, zoey would tug you backstage to meet the singers if you wanted to. there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to see a smile on your face.

- on lazy days, the two of you just lounge in your pajamas and binge shows all day. in between sharing popcorn and cuddles, you find yourself to be utterly content in her arms.

- zoey is an amazing fashionista, so the two of you are always the best dressed no matter where you go. she picks out outfits that accentuates your features, and she praises you endlessly if you try something out of your comfort zone.

- there’s hardly ever any misunderstandings because you and zoey are both devoted to make this relationship work. it’s because you’re both good with words; therefore, the communication between the two of you is top tier.

- zoey loves spoiling you. no matter the occasion, she always has the best and the most thoughtful gifts. she’ll remember a necklace you’ve mentioned you liked or a piece of clothing you pointed out and gift it to you at the most random times.

- there’s many qualities zoey adore about you, one of them being how good you are with a camera. zoey knows how to work her angles and you are more than inclined to capture her in action, laughing as she strikes poses after poses.

- your favorite photographs you’ve captured of her are those where she’s caught off guard, painting her nails or doing her music theory homework on her laptop. zoey is naturally pretty, and it would be a disservice to the world if you didn’t immortalize zoey for being zoey!

a/n: thank you for being patient w me! i hope u enjoy these hcs <3