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punemy-spotted · 1 year ago

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Iris - Chapter 1

Chapter 1: The Devil Wears a Suit and Tie

Pairing: SoftDark!Devil!Helmut Zemo x Sky-Captain!Reader

Warnings: Cosmic Horror; Dubious Consent; Dubious Morality; Estranged Relationship; Zemo and Reader are not in the Good Place; THIS IS A HORROR FIC; Soul Stealing; Incredibly Loose Relationship with Physics; This is a Fallen London x Marvel Crossover Moment; There are Space Bees; And Giant Lovestruck Space Crabs; Violence; Murder; Death; Poison; At Least One Reference to a Garrote; Estranged Relationship; Dead Dove: Do Not Eat

PLEASE REMEMBER THAT YOUR CONSUMPTION OF MEDIA IS YOUR OWN RESPONSIBILITY AND IF YOU ARE UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE CONTENT THAT IS BEING PRESENTED, PLEASE DO NOT READ

Chapter Summary: Sokovia rose, then fell, and then rose again. And now the stars will never be the same.

Notes: Hi, welcome, I really wanted to write an MCU crossover with the Fallen London 'verse so here we are. Imagine House of M except Wanda Maximoff became an actual factual God and it actually wasn't that bad after all. And now imagine all of that is background noise in favor of one unhinged Devil and one overly hinged Epistolarian. An Intrepid Epistolarian.

Oh also Wanda's waging war against Queen Victoria. It's fine.

For those of you who have read my other Zemo fics, finished and unfinished, if you notice similarities between this fic and the other ones... yes. I am Frankenstein trying to raise this fanfiction monster and put scenes, passages, and themes to better use than languishing in my Ao3/Tumblr cupboard. (Also if you've read my other fics, hi, hello, I love you.)

I crave feedback, so tell me what you think!

All of my work is 18+ Only, Minors DO NOT INTERACT. I do not consent to my work being posted anywhere besides Tumblr or Ao3 and I post my work there myself. Do not copy, translate, or repost any of my content.

The First taught Restraint, and the Second Betrayed. The Third taught us Hunger and the Fourth we Remade. The Fifth will live on in the Heart of the Sun but the Sixth did quickly Fade. The Seventh City will never Fall, never ending the Deal we made.

She kept some of the old names when she took this place, you know. Built onto it, even when her Renewed Empress had to bend the knee to the Scarlet One, sealed away in her undying mausoleum.

The Proclaimers of the Cult of the Sanctified, still seated at the Avid Horizon’s High Gate and whispering Truths to their counterparts on the other side, were right — the Seventh City would never fall; the Bazaar would never be compelled to deliver that fatal missive to that Beacon of Bright Betrayal it loved so much; there would be no opportunity to argue that Seven Cities worth of love is proof enough of Her Worthy Love.

If there is one thing you know about opportunities, it is that they are also opportunities to fail.

The long tradition of the Duchy of Sokovia — that Bulwark which once stood the test of time against even the Tsars of Russia — is not what it once was. There is, in fact, no such thing as Sokovia now, not the way you would think. There are Sokovian people, clinging to an identity lest it be lost in the abyss below, but all that remains of the Earthly land which remembered the Duchy’s history with the joint Empires of Austria and Hungary is now nothing more than a chasm of stone and steel.

A monument to violent delights in want of violent ends.

Cast your eyes not to the ruins of her past but to the gleaming future written in the stars ab—

The sound of a train whistle drowns out what remains of the tinned announcement, an earsplitting shriek you endure for what feels like forever, but is in fact — if the clock before you is accurate — no more than two minutes. Which — as it turns out — is plenty of time to interrupt the announcement’s conclusion and leave ringing silence in its wake.

Good. You were rather tired of hearing your own voice drone on any longer.

You turn your head away from the train schedule you had previously been pretending to occupy your mind with, watching the rails with mild impatience and fidgeting with your gloves.

He is late.

It’s not abnormal, really, for the more independent locomotives — those not on the Scarlet Empress’s own payroll, that is — to run on their own definition of time, but you’ve never known your contact to be anything more than a man of his word.

When you’ve properly interpreted his words, that is.

No matter. You have the luxury of time. Collecting your luggage takes little effort — a rather bulging handbag and a briefcase is not so terrible compared to the crates of fuel, souls, and hours you see being carted around you — as you step briskly towards the more busting central parts of port. The station itself has seen better days, almost empty save for a handful of dock-workers and the occasional Employee making sure the schedule runs on time, but as you pass through an open archway into the city proper, they seem eager to resume whatever activity they might otherwise have abandoned for your intrusive presence.

NORTH.

How did it happen? Was it prophecy — or maybe some mad interpretation of the scream-whispers of Distant Polythreme, a vision of the Garden — that led the Proclaimers to make their rhyme, completing the riddle and speaking for the Masters themselves?

Something must have rung true to the Masters, for them to solve the riddle.

Novi Grad rose, then fell. Fell until it could fall no further, until there was nothing left of decades of history but ash and blood for the ghosts of her denizens to wander through. Until there was nothing for the Masters and their bats to drag to cavernous depths.

So she, in her infinite tragedy and infinite pain, became the solution.

Your tea, madame. You look up from your scribbling absently, glancing briefly up at the server and then feeling your polite smile immediately fade off your face.

Must you always play games?

Helmut Zemo stands before you with a perfectly placid smile on his cruelly handsome face, So lovely to see you again, sweetling, and you’re quite welcome for the tea.

You narrowly avoid the temptation to roll your eyes, closing your journal and placing the cap on your pen, its nib glimmering venomously in the candlelight, You are late. A casual accusation, one he dismisses with an easy wave of his hand, just before seating himself before you and stealing a biscuit from your place.

And you are impatient. Surely this must mean you have missed me, little bird. If he notices the way you flinch at the sweetname, struggling to compose yourself before you manage to settle on sternness, he does not say.

You have faced worse things than Helmut Zemo, you know. Worse than the ache that slices through your heart when you look at him and his easy smile, the one you might have fallen in love with once again, if you forgot yourself.

You will not.

Instead, you breathe, letting the heavy air in your lungs out slowly as you tug the fingers of your glove until the whole thing is loose enough to be removed entirely.

You always hated getting biscuit crumbs on your whisper-satin fineries.

You asked me to meet you here, Helmut, a fact which he seems to dismiss with another too-sharp smile, eyes flickering over you.

It burns. Licking over the neckline of your dress before moving down to the delicate pearl buttons that hold shut your bodice, heat rising over the thin lace collar wrapped around your throat, and you wonder idly how often he fines pleasure in watching people struggle to breathe and die.

I’m told you have been busy, he tells you flatly, practiced hand snapping his biscuit in half before dipping one perfect semi-circle into the cup of tea he’d placed in front of you, Too busy, it seems, to inform your husband of your whereabouts.

The knifeblade edge of his voice is enough, slipping past the plates of armor you always try to wrap around yourself every time you agree to meet him, his joyless smile the barbs he leaves in your heart, ensuring it will bleed for him for a few months more after your eventual parting.

The first time he’d touched your cheek in the shadow of a clockwork sun while you wept, his lips ghosting your skin, you nearly fell to your knees at his feet.

That should have been the last time you would ever see him, as he whispered sweet nothings and sweeter promises in a language you did not speak, burning intention into your skin and leaving you forever bound, words falling from his lips like a waterfall.

The third time you met Helmut Zemo, you cried. And the fourth. And the fifth.

You refuse to meet his eyes, smoothing out the wrinkles in your gown with trembling hands, Is this what you came to remind me?

He does not stop smiling, even as you make note of the uneasy tension sitting on his shoulders, the vicious gleam in his eyes as he continues his visual examination of your countenance, tea soaked biscuit melting idly on his tongue.

Yes, it is.

You should be grateful for his honesty — Devils rarely are, after all.

He continues before you have a chance to consider it, How much farther do you plan to run from this place, sweetling, before time returns you back to me?

You wish he wouldn’t call you sweetling.

You haven’t been sweet in a thousand years.

But that’s beside the point, isn’t it? He already knows that, anyway.

Though you suppose that maybe you ought to tell him about something he doesn’t know.

Why did you call me here, Helmut?

Why does any man call his wife back to the port where they parted last? I missed you.

You swallow thickly, avoiding the unyielding blade of his sharp-eyed gaze and even sharper smile, refusing to let your heart leap out to him as it aches to do, You are lying, Helmut, you accuse, pretending to busy yourself with the biscuits he brought to your table.

As always, as you should have expected, he only grins at you — a cruel, twisted grimace that makes your stomach twist not-wholly-unpleasantly — before reaching out and brushing his knuckles over your cheek, Would you let me lie, little bird?

I certainly hope you don’t expect an honest answer to that question.

His laugh is as sharp as his smile, a huff of bemusement you recall bringing you happiness before, a long time ago.

Now it reminds you of the taste of poison, of bile curling in the back of your throat, of blood and metal and the screaming agony of time stretched to its very limit.

The silence too, stretches between you, taut as the wires you would wrap around your palms to cut through cheese and impertinent throats, waiting for you to finally surrender and rise to your feet, gather your things and bid him as formal a goodbye as you’ll allow yourself — always just out of reach, I have no intention of playing games, Helmut, you challenge with the same tone of voice you might use to scold the Empress’s misbehaving sons, If you refuse to do me the courtesy of your honest, then do me the gift of your absence.

He watches you, eyes glimmering amber with insult, but does not dishonor you enough to reach out, There was a time, little bird, when you loved me without such reservation.

The words burn across your skin like living fire, your vows and his molded together in a single remembered sigil, a bond forced with the very language of Judgment, unbidden agony scorching your composure as you make a desperate, futile attempt to push away the memory; his voice soft, the low timbre of his accent sliding over your ears like honey in your mouth, gentle lips on yours as he sealed your fate with a kiss, I have memorized you like a prayer.

You could almost have forgotten he was a liar, standing lost in your memories as you are, forgotten the price of promise and the weight of truth.

Almost.

The tears burn at the backs of your eyes, but you blink them back, let bone grind against bone before, More fool I, then, for thinking you did the same.

You turn to walk towards the door, four sovereigns in hand to pay for your meal — interrupted though it has been — making a concentrated effort to not look back, even as you hear his voice cutting through the otherwise silent room, When everything goes wrong, it is a terrible burden to bear alone, don’t you think?

You cannot help yourself, can you? Shoulders slumping as you declare a reluctant defeat and turn to face him, swearing your heart has lit aflame.

You cannot ignore His Law forever, little bird.

You know nothing of responsibility, Helmut, your voice is cold as the icy expanse beyond the warm walls of Novi Grad station, still aching to leave and frustrated by your uncooperative feet.

There’s a twitch at the corner of his lips, amusement sparking in his own eyes, And what of you, little bird, what have you learned of responsibility since your escape from Perdurance?

You visibly flinch, the name sparking an endless array of horror and memories within you, just as his expression falls into uncharacteristic regret.

Nothing, clearly, you reply hollowly, words bitter on the back of your teeth, Much to your pleasure, I think.

That wounds him, to your surprise, hurt painting his face before he controls his features and buries both regret and rage beneath a placid mask, Infinite freedom is as tight a prison as an opulent cage, on occasion.

#helmut zemo #zemo x reader #helmut zemo x reader #dark!helmut zemo #dark!helmut zemo x reader #dark helmut zemo #baron helmut zemo x reader #fallen london #mcu #dark fic #fanfiction

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cxcassii · 1 year ago

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About me ˚ʚ♡ɞ˚

Hi hi! I’m cassi or you can just call me cass

She/they pronouns

I will blog mostly about my writings/brain rots/art WIPs. I am a learning artist, new to digital art.

Unapologetically unhinged abt eremika 🩷

Massively multifandom / multishipper. MAINLY fixated with eremika, presently. I’m into a lot of different things, though and I’m not choosey about stuff!

This blog is STRICTLY 18+ as I request minors do not interact.

dead dove/dark fic connoisseurs are welcomed

I’m down to talk about anything! NSFW/SFW so long as conversation is respectful.

Please, carefully read the tags of my fics before divulging! I tag all my works very specifically.

I do not take kindly to any forms of harassment, hate or bullying. Automatic block if you cross any of those three.

My asks are open!

All of my fics are located on Ao3 & this is my Twitter/X & instagram

Ao3 Fics

Healing In Your Pheromones — explicit, omegaverse au { on-going } — Alphas go into feral rut eruptions after a while if they’re continually nulled by suppressants. The dominants are transported to sanctums that are known as Rehabilitation Sanctuaries. Compounds are operated by omegan priestesses who perform pheromone therapy on the alphas brought in.

The ultimate theme is futile opposition of your destined mate. The healings of past trauma in said mate. Learning to allow what should come naturally.

A.K.A — there’s not enough em a/b/o au’s out there, so here! this is my contribution to the cause.

A Slice of Paradise — explicit cabin au { completed/one-shot } — In the paths, residing in the remote seclusion of their small temporary eden, their fabricated home—their carefully crafted cabin.

The intimate instances they partook and shared within;

Eren and Mikasa absorb the small remaining amount of time they have together.

A.K.A. — cabin au + titan nsfw content

^ WARNING! Please do NOT indulge if you don't wanna read titan nsfw content. You have been heavily advised!

asking for it — explicit, modern au { completed/one-shot } — Eren and Mikasa have been married for five years. Eren has been gone on a business trip for a little over a month. Mikasa so lovingly welcomes him home.

A.K.A — the married hobo looking Eren x subby Mika au

Tale By The Sea — explicit, mermaid au { completed one-shot } — He never much believed in the lore of mermaids. Sure, he had heard plenty of exaggerated fables and tall tales. Eren was a pirate, yes, but that didn’t mean he inherently believed in all the ole folktales of the sea. The man’s main purpose was sailing nation to nation. Taking on odd jobs for treasures, riches, jewels and everything in between. He was a jack of all trades kind of pirate.

However, in a twist of fateful events;

Eren’s beliefs are tested shortly after taking on an odd job. Foolishly, he’d set sail alone. Subsequently, his ship crashed right into a beast of a storm. Thrusted into the chasm of the deep blue, his world goes black swiftly after the thunderous sea sinks his vessel.

Next thing Eren knows, he’s waking up staring straight into nearly sky blue, silvered eyes. A glimmering, shimmered tail whipping around a head full of lustrous raven locks.

“How goes it, human?”

“Uhm, y-yer a…”

“Yes, a mermaid. And I saved your life. That means you owe me one.”

Well, guess Eren be damned.

Maybe mermaids did exist.

A.K.A. — the mermaidKasa x Pirate Eren au

Porcelain Menial — explicit, modern messy stripperKasa au { on-going / returning from hiatus } —

Mikasa, age 24, was a stripper in the night-time at her cousin Levi's night club, Club Rose.

It was during a brief—though highly sexually charged—lap dance did a certain brunet, deeply sun-kissed, and aqua-teal-eyed man slipped her a hefty amount of cash.

Unaware, Mikasa stumbled into the same man again in the most unexpected way.

Or what she presumed was unexpected.

Cunning and clever, Mr. Eren Jaeger’s keen on precisely he how pulled the strings and how exactly he planned to invite the stripper into his home.

A.K.A. — The messy stripper/maidKasa x closeted kinkster doctor Eren au ✨

( ^ messy writing in this one, as it’s my first multi-chap fic, be warned! )

#introducing myself #navigate

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wxndswept · 6 months ago

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Hatred(Finale)

"No blood, no struggle, no people, no note... I don't understand." Yuuki coughed and took a sip of water on the nearby table. Her voice was hoarse from screaming at the staff member who had refused to let her see her own room because "an incident had occurred" and "an investigation was underway" according to them.

Eventually, she was granted access, but now she was annoyed and more worried than before. And tired from all the yelling. But looking in their shared room, there was no evidence that anything had happened. Lyza had left a bag on the table, next to a drink, and the fragments of the Ruin Blade they had collected on their journey. She picked up the bag and pocketed it, letting it a sigh as she looked at the ceiling. "A portal opened up, huh? On Teyvat, that would have been easier to explain since the Abyss were the only beings that could make portals aside from me. But out here in the wider galaxy, where Mr. Yang makes black holes with his cane, and Miss Acheron cuts throu- WAH!" A portal opened beneath Yuuki's feet mid-sentence, dropping her quickly.

In an instant, Yuuki found herself falling from her comfy suite in Penacony to an unknown landscape. A barren, stormy sea. The dark, vicious waves were the only thing as far as the eye could see, dimly lit by the moonlight sky. At least, that was the right it gave off, there was no actual moon to reflect light. Yuuki twisted herself around in the air, closing her eyes and focusing on how she felt back on the space station to tap into her true power. The last two times were so emotional and chaotic that it just burst forth, but this time it was like reaching a hand into herself and pulling out what she really was.

A blast of wind surrounded her as she opened her eyes. As Yuuki's draconic wings manifested, she was able to properly orient herself and slow herself to a gentle landing. She expected to sink right into the depths, but instead, she landed on her feet, like she was in a small puddle. Looking down, however, she could see the dark and murky depths beneath the surface. Yuuki stomped her foot a few times, not understanding how this was even possible. But before she could look too far into the phenomenon, something crossed her peripheral vision. A large, serpentine creature was swimming toward her at an alarming speed. Yuuki was able to jump back as it burst out of the water, twisting in the air to face her.

"..." Its appearance was different, but Yuuki could tell it was the same creature from the Chasm. A towering shadowy being that Lyza seemed to control when they first met. It didn't have many defining features or much of a face, but it was definitely staring Yuuki down. The malice was undeniable. She couldn't tell if this thing was Lyza, or something connected to her and her power. That strange Delusion she had, Yuuki never knew what happened with it when they left Teyvat. She never asked.

"Are..." Yuuki swallowed hard. The last shadowy creature she faced didn't possess any kind of speech. "You aren't Lyza, are you? Maybe you're like some... thing that she made? Like a-" The creature suddenly screeched, twisting around in the air as Yuuki fell to the ground from the sudden sound. It was a loud, piercing scream, that pinned her to the spot, but she could also hear the wail of someone in pain.

"L-Lyza!" The cry was ignored as a vortex spun up from the water below, sweeping Yuuki and the creature up into the air. With ease, it dove into the whirling water, swimming along it as Yuuki tried to reorient herself. Over and over it dashed at Yuuki, using the circle of water to confuse her from where it was attacking from. While she couldn't completely avoid all of them, she was able to use her wings and ethereal weaponry to push herself out of the way at times, receiving lighter injuries in the process. The shade switched up tactics and broke through the wall, floating in the center of the storm. Rearing back, a large gaping mouth opened. Yuuki recognized the growing ball of light forming in the maw as a massive attack. In response, Yuuki thrust to the side, blowing a blast of air and flapping her wings to move quick enough to the side, narrowly avoiding the blast. In her movement, Yuuki bounced off the wall of water, shouting at the razor-like feeling of the rapids. The serpent charged headfirst at her, headfirst into Yuuki's sword, which she summoned to pierce its side. The pain cry that the creature let out gave Yuuki pause. It reminded her so much of Lyza that she paused at an opportunity for a follow-up attack, ducking below when the creature whipped its tail around to strike her. She drew back her blade, swinging quickly to cut into the beast's underbelly. A shallow slice that brought out another roar of pain. one that brought back a memory for Yuuki.

"I'm sorry!" Yuuki clutched her head, hearing her own voice from a time on the Herta Space Station. "I didn't mean to hit so hard, are you okay?"

"I..." Yuuki huffed in frustration as she stared down the creature. "I'm sorry! I was so wrapped up in my own stuff that I didn't stop to think about you!" She wasn't sure if her words were reaching Lyza, or if this thing in front of her even was Lyza, but she had to say it. Just in case. "If you're somewhere in there, please! Please let me save you!"

The creature saw Yuuki hesitate. It whipped its head around and screeched angrily, lunging at her and grabbing her with its mouth to throw her down toward the water. All Yuuki could do was wrap her wings around her body like a cocoon as she hit the water at full force. Unfurling them, she looked up to see the tornado of water dissipate. The creature's maw opened again, launching another beam of energy at Yuuki. She raised her arms and wings in a futile attempt to block, instead getting swept under the waves. While the beam of energy didn't penetrate the waves, the force of the blast did, pushing Yuuki further down.

"Don't be an ass!" Now Lyza's voice echoed in her head. "Don't hold back on me just because we're friends or whatever!" Yuuki opened her eyes underwater, attempting to fight against the current. "How else am I going to surpass you if I can't even gauge your real strength?! Don't hold anything back, you got it!?"

Yuuki jumped out of the water, energized by a second wind. She couldn't help but notice that the seascape had changed a bit. The water was darker, the sky was completely black, illuminated only by the creature floating a ways away from Yuuki. It was coiled around itself, gathering energy in preparation for something. Feeling the air pulse with pressure and the seas swell, Yuuki could feel that it wasn't something good. Regaining her composure, she ran across the surface of the water, stopping in her tracks at the sight.

While the creature itself was curled up behind a large shield, a segment of its body was exposed, revealing a small bubble. Inside was Lyza, curled up in the fetal position and seemingly unconscious. She was ignorant to the chaotic space around her, as well as Yuuki, who had leaped up close to the shield, pounding on it with her sword and hand while screaming her name. Upon closer inspection, Yuuki could see the black Delusion, embedded in her chest, the one that had seemingly disappeared when they left Teyvat. When or how it resurfaced didn't matter, things were being connected in Yuuki's head

"Lyza!!" Yuuki was pelted with water as she struck at the shield with her sword. "Come on, I know you can hear me!! LYZA!!"Jumping up, Yuuki batted away bullets of water, summoning a barrage of ethereal weapons. With a yell, she threw them at the shield, smiling as it cracked while they bounced off it. Rolling around another attack, she threw another volley, the blades embedding in the shield. Cloaking her Aquila Favonia with a small violent current of wind, she fell down onto the shield with full force, shattering it. The ethereal blades took their chance and continued their path, piercing the serpent's body. Yuuki herself landed on top of the sphere containing Lyza, but before she could do anything, the blinding light of an explosion engulfed her. The energy the creature was drawing in had destabilized.

"You're a very intense person, you know that Lyza? It's one hundred percent or nothing with you."

"Of course I am! With what I've become? I don't have all the time to sit around and do nothing. I just wish that... before I burn out, I could be myself again."

Yuuki opened her eyes to a changed landscape once again. Dawn was now beginning to break over the sea, and crumbling ruins now dotted the area. She jumped to her feet, wiping the blood that was dripping from a wound on her head, seeing the serpent burst from the water once more. It let out another screech, shooting out a barrage of beams toward Yuuki. Bullets of water, beams of light, explosions in the water, the onslaught was non-stop. For a while, for what felt like an eternity, Yuuki could only dodge the best she could, occasionally retaliating with a flurry of ethereal blades.

The creature turned its tantrum to a greater degree, flying higher in the air and letting out another loud screech. The sea behind it bulged and swelled, creating a massive wave that threatened to engulf everything. Lightning started to strike in the area

"Oh no you don't..." Yuuki spread her wings wide and brought her sword close to her. Both it and she glowed faintly as a fierce wind enveloped the blade once more. Taking a step back, she sliced forward quickly, emitting a wave that cut through everything. The wave, the water, the storm in the sky all parted for her attack, leaving a perfect 'scar' that was left suspended for a few moments before the environment returned to normal. Yuuki was surprised at the feat, staring blankly at the scene before her as the leviathan was blown away from the force in its wake. What really caught her attention was the shining blue object that was struck by a bolt of lightning in the nearby ruins.

"Wha... T-That's... THAT'S!!" Immediately, Yuuki ran over to the source, jumping over the pit she had created into the ruins. With a closer look, she could recognize them as the ruins of Old Mondstadt, where her life was first changed forever. She raised a wing to cover her side as a barrage of water bullets pelted her. Her arms came up soon after, nearly tripping over herself as the appendage started to deteriorate under the stress of the attack.

"Be careful, this sword can cut through anything. Physical objects, bonds, curses, memories, or even the barrier between worlds. If you can wish it, this can cut it!"

"If that's true...!" Jumping up on the stone pedestal, Yuuki reached out with one hand as the creature let loose a massive blast behind her. "Then you'll have no issue with me cutting through all this hate! Isn't that right, Moon?!"

The Ruin Blade shook in place for a moment, responding to its master's cry. It flew from its rooted spot and into Yuuki's hand. Her arm throbbed in pain, the sword felt heavy and unnatural in her grip. But in the moment, it didn't matter. Without hesitation, she turned on her heel and swung the glowing blue sword.

Everything went still. The sea was cut in two. As was the sky. The pedestal Yuuki stood on. The beam of energy. The serpentine creature charging at her. And Lyza. For a brief, frozen moment, Yuuki stared, her mouth agape in horror as the white-haired woman and the creature covering her disappeared before her eyes. She couldn't scream, she couldn't cry out or run, she couldn't even talk or move. She couldn't process it, couldn't accept it, not that this was by her own handle. An ominous purple residue remained in the space where Yuuki cut, unmoving even as the sea fell back to its normal state.

The Ruin Blade fell from Yuuki's hand onto the stone below. It sputtered and 'glitched' before opening up a portal beneath her. Wordlessly, both she and it fell from the strange sea and into one of the train cars of the Astral Express.

#[story post]#(hsr verse)#well there you have it that's our story Lyza's dead! goodnight!#(queue)

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thegeminisage · 1 year ago

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plan of sitting atop zelda to farm her for parts ruined by 1. i have adhd and to get all my parts would be up to 90 minutes of doing absolutely nothing 2. star fell, had to get it

got lucky! she was really close to the great sky islands so i've gotten back to her by flinging myself off those

oh boy she's taking us through this storm lol

just doing this for an hour seems excruciating. she's been doing it for 10,000 YEARS. i'm gonna kermit

AAAAAUGH another fallen star................this is HORRIBLE i already gave up a naydra opportunity to sit up here! if i go get this one i definitely won't get lucky enough to get back on her back, she's head towards the sparse and UNEXPLORED skies over the gerudo desert so i'd have no way to fast travel back to her...i wish i could leave a medallion on her head

i got another spike so it'll be at least another 10m anyway...might as well go

goodbye babygirl 😢

i got it! AND without the bike lol

i've left epona out forever but right near a stable. felt bad so i let her run on the road to a different stable where i finally boarded her, except first she disappeared for a second?? which was a terrifying little glitch lol

forced my bike into this big cave with me which was good because i got to skip what would have been a very difficult climb in cave-rain

unfortunately even though i was a cheapskate about it i can't get it out of here :( rip. i hate having to spend fans...

a chest ALSO vanished on me :/ weird 1.0 glitches........

i only have one korok seed left in this little area but its next to a lynel :///

might as well try to fight it while i'm here i suppose.........

i actually got him?! man NICE......

even tho lurelin was my fav place from botw (and totk, bc i simply Love The Beach) i feel kinda bad coming here now like let me PAY you for stuff!!! i have moneyyy

but those koroks arent gonna fly themselves.........

awww the skyview tower rito is here. now that i've got them all he gets to get a wife and settle down here lol

ah! the proper heart shaped lake had SO many fairies but i dropped my bike before they loaded and then they loaded as it dropped which ofc scared all of them away :(

ugh my bike despawned AGAIN...............life is so hard all the time

ugh!!!!!!! i thought about going to get that shrine in eventide i missed since i'm sort of in the area but like. i'd have to kill ALL those pirate monsters again. this is why i turn shrines on sometimes. i want them to be a surprise but also missing one like that fucking SUCKS

naydra sighted again, but i feel like i see her a lot around here so i'm passing her up for now. i got shit to do which requires my bike. also the little list i used to know how much stuff i need was on r*ddit and it's shut down now lol so like

ok nvm i got my last seed on this route and she's literally right above me. i'd have to ditch the bike anyways

god i love riding dragons. can't wait until i can do this with farosh

i think she's about to go into the depths...maybe i'll see if i can stay on and go with her lol

oh maybe not...she's going sharply upward suddenly

girl where are we GOING???

oh no i think this may be it, she's descending again and there's a chasm ahead...

OHHH there's zelda in the distance :( i can't go to her now!!! i might literally not be able to lol, she's not near anything. but i really wanna see if naydra will go into a chasm while i'm on her back...

i climbed a spike to be sure i wouldn't fall off lol

OHHH THIS IS LITERALLY IT SHES GOING DOWN

and the kakariko chasm too! i haven't dove in here yet...

just realized she's going to be an eternity getting to the bottom. it takes ME forever falling at maximum velocity

still cool af tho

oh, i haven't been down this chasm but i have explored and lit up the world beneath it lol. let's see which direction she goes ig

I SEE A LIGHTROOT FROM HERE........i'm not ready to leave her yet tho. if i'm really lucky she'll take me right to it

there's an area, which tbh i'm just as happy to pass over for now...and a yiga hideout!! and we are literally going in the right direction. so cool.

ok bestie this is my stop! ugh i just realized i took video in the chasm but now when we went through it...whatever

i'm glad zelda doesn't come down here. poor girl.

i used the springs here and there were so many i sprung myself up to the ceiling lol

i see a flux construct and a lightroot. i could go down and fight it but that would make getting the lightroot much harder unless i spent fans on a bike.......

fuck it ig

easy peasy! i havent fought one of these guys in awhile and i'm pleased to see how much easier it's become

oh duh. i can just fast travel back to the lightroot i just got. i don't have to climb lol

oh COOL i'm just in time to see naydra exit the chasm!

this is such a fun little lightroot trail. every time i get to one another pops up. i actually see TWO from here. they're so addictive...

omg you can fuse stuff to the master sword 😭 i was out of weapons to fuse this flux heart thingy to and i tried and it worked but it is SO UGLY :( im so sorry fi

i am near the spring of wisdom i think!! im gonna ignore this lightroot (HARD.......) and see if there's a poe statue guy there

...i think i flew right into it. i cheated by checking my interactive map lol

oh no just kidding i was climbing to the ceiling! i flew OVER it. anyway i got there

DARK!!!

HOOD!!!

GIRL YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM DARK LINK AT LAST

dark link my beloved.......................................

onto this last lightroot and then i'm outta here. too bad i didn't collect any zonaite...

oh good god. im on top of a mountain which means valley down here. UGH i have to climb

no way. bike time. this is what it's for.

lol and meanwhile i pass a monster camp with zonaite and can't be assed to get off the bike. and i've just seen ANOTHER lightroot. we are in hell

ok yeah i've had enough. i don't see anymore lightroots, i'm getting out of here. even though i REALLY need zonaite.

GOD i love dark link armor...night speed UP babey. i only wish u could upgrade it (monkeys paw activates and i have to fight hands to do so)

i basically only have 3 areas left on the right side of the map - lanayru which i do not wanna do bc i hate the snowy mountain and the waterway makes me nervous, and the zora area, and death mountain. and i guess the tingle islands so that's technically 4

gonna start w the zora area tomorrow unless a different mood strikes me - there's a shit ton of caves and seeds i missed all clustered together that will be easy to knock out

for now tho bed. sorry for anyone scrolling past this i did the whole day in one post lol

#personal #loz blogging #totk lb #totk spoilers

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woundfound · 2 months ago

Text

THE DRUNKEN BOAT — ARTHUR RIMBAUD

As I descended black, impassive Rivers,

I sensed that haulers were no longer guiding me:

Screaming Natives took them for their targets,

Nailed nude to colored stakes: barbaric trees.

I was indifferent to all my crews;

I carried English cottons, Flemish wheat.

When the disturbing din of haulers ceased,

The Rivers let me ramble where I willed.

Through the furious ripping of the sea's mad tides,

Last winter, deafer than an infant's mind,

I ran! And drifting, green Peninsulas

Did not know roar more gleefully unkind.

A tempest blessed my vigils on the sea.

Lighter than a cork I danced on the waves,

Those endless rollers, as they say, of graves:

Ten nights beyond a lantern's silly eye!

Sweeter than sourest apple-flesh to children,

Green water seeped into my pine-wood hull

And washed away blue wine stains, vomitings,

Scattering rudder, anchor, man's lost rule.

And then I, trembling, plunged into the Poem

Of the Sea, infused with stars, milk-white,

Devouring azure greens; where remnants, pale

And gnawed, of pensive corpses fell from light;

Where, staining suddenly the blueness, delirium,

The slow rhythms of the pulsing glow of day,

Stronger than alcohol and vaster than our lyres,

The bitter reds of love ferment the way!

I know skies splitting into light, whirled spouts

Of water, surfs, and currents: I know the night,

The dawn exalted like a flock of doves, pure wing,

And I have seen what men imagine they have seen.

I saw the low sun stained with mystic horrors,

Lighting long, curdled clouds of violet,

Like actors in a very ancient play,

Waves rolling distant thrills like lattice light!

I dreamed of green night, stirred by dazzling snows,

Of kisses rising to the sea's eyes, slowly,

The sap-like coursing of surprising currents,

And singing phosphors, flaring blue and gold!

I followed, for whole months, a surge like herds

Of insane cattle in assault on the reefs,

Unhopeful that three Marys, come on luminous feet,

Could force a muzzle on the panting seas!

Yes, I struck incredible Floridas

That mingled flowers and the eyes of panthers

In skins of men! And rainbows bridled green

Herds beneath the horizon of the seas.

I saw the ferment of enormous marshes, weirs

Where a whole Leviathan lies rotting in the weeds!

Collapse of waters within calms at sea,

And distances in cataract toward chasms!

Glaciers, silver suns, pearl waves, and skies like coals,

Hideous wrecks at the bottom of brown gulfs

Where giant serpents eaten by red bugs

Drop from twisted trees and shed a black perfume!

I should have liked to show the young those dolphins

In blue waves, those golden fish, those fish that sing.

-Foam like flowers rocked my sleepy drifting,

And, now and then, fine winds supplied me wings.

When, feeling like a martyr, I tired of poles and zones,

The sea, whose sobbing made my tossing sweet,

Raised me its dark flowers, deep and yellow whirled,

And, like a woman, I fell on my knees . . .

Peninsula, I tossed upon my shores

The quarrels and droppings of clamorous, blond-eyed birds.

I sailed until, across my rotting cords,

Drowned men, spinning backwards, fell asleep! . . .

Now I, a lost boat in the hair of coves,

Hurled by tempest into a birdless air,

I, whose drunken carcass neither Monitors

Nor Hansa ships would fish back for men's care;

Free, smoking, rigged with violet fogs,

I, who pierced the red sky like a wall

That carries exquisite mixtures for good poets,

Lichens of sun and azure mucus veils;

Who, spotted with electric crescents, ran

Like a mad plank, escorted by seahorses,

When cudgel blows of hot Julys struck down

The sea-blue skies upon wild water spouts;

I, who trembled, feeling the moan at fifty leagues

Of rutting Behemoths and thick Maelstroms, I,

Eternal weaver of blue immobilities,

I long for Europe with its ancient quays!

I saw sidereal archipelagoes! and isles

Whose delirious skies are open to the voyager:

-Is it in depthless nights you sleep your exile,

A million golden birds, O future Vigor?-

But, truly, I have wept too much! The dawns disturb.

All moons are painful, and all suns break bitterly:

Love has swollen me with drunken torpors.

Oh, that my keel might break and spend me in the sea!

Of European waters I desire

Only the black, cold puddle in a scented twilight

Where a child of sorrows squats and sets the sails

Of a boat as frail as a butterfly in May.

I can no longer, bathed in languors, O waves,

Cross the wake of cotton-bearers on long trips,

Nor ramble in a pride of flags and flares,

Nor swim beneath the horrible eyes of prison ships.

0 notes

messagefound · 3 months ago

Text

overgrown

ft lilieve by @crashstanding

something i did the other night. i tend to write these feverishly in one sitting and this one was an idea that was clawing at me for a While

summary: Adam has been in pain for some time. The necrosis brings back a nonlinear memory.

Adam was dreaming again.

(again, again it was always again)

He wasn’t called “Adam” right then. Whoever he was before had been swallowed up by the soil and that godforsaken Silence. Or at least he should’ve been.

Whyever did his limbs hurt so? This was the moment the suspicion he was not of human stock was made bare reality, the blood leaving him in waterfalls he still walked through with only the slightest of limps. The pain was unbearable, oh yes it was unbearable, but he had to keep going to the grave. He had to. Nothing would grow if he didn’t allow his flesh as fertilizer, his blood and tears as water, his love as sunshine. Everything would be silent and barren forever if he did not do this.

And yet, whyever did he fall just now? The starving soil was not slick like synthetic linoleum, and it ate his blood hungrily, so there was hardly a way for him to slip. Try as he could, he could do little but convulse, cries for no one hardly bearing to leave his throat in choked gurgling gasps.

Oh, how he hated that sound. What was he doing a death rattle for? There was no one left to hear him. What was the point of having a last breath if no one was around to keen like a dove at his passing? He did everything right. He gave all that he had. Everything. He begged the earth to take his body, why was he now being rejected? Why couldn’t it just open and take him? Why must he be humiliated like this, convulsing upon the ground like a fish drowning in air?

What use could he be to anyone now?

He hated that saying, that the world would only end with a whimper. Just a singular whimper. It was always said with such cynical derision. After all, what great importance can a singular blue marble boast in such a vast cosmos? There is just too great of a chasm between the stars, with life only stumbling blind through its trenches. When an empty predator inevitably finds something so outrageously loud and colorful in such a place, it will cry out, and none of its kind will answer, far away as they are.

(“if there were any at all” would go unspoken)

Deep down he always knew none of that sounded right. He didn’t know how he knew, but some primordial instinct told him thus. Someone would hear and would always hear and would cry and would always cry at the sound. It was just that no one remembered. Too much time had passed.

It was ending again now, and he was ending with it. And oh God did he refuse to end with something as quiet as a whimper.

He finally felt himself sink into the dirt, but it didn’t feel as willful as he once wanted. It felt more like every part of him that was in contact with the soil grew claws and forcefully tore away every speck of dirt in sight. Every little bit of him, every pore and every molecule, seemed to grow sharper as strips of dead earth were shredded on contact.

Eventually he didn’t see that smog-filled sky anymore.

He curled up like an injured animal beneath the earth, every joint feeling like it was pierced with shards of glass. His body was now an empty bloodless concave, the open underbelly lined with ribs like teeth. He trembled as if he were cold, and truly he knew the earth’s core should never be cold.

If he could just make it down there, he could branch out all that he is.

This world will scream if it kills him.

With pained, arthritic, yet determined movements, he dug deeper. Sometimes he could feel long thorny vines emerging from what was left of his flesh, dragging the dirt behind him and leaving systems like ant or mole trails. He wished they were a bit more patient. They should’ve waited until he settled, that way they wouldn’t waste their energy dragging uselessly behind him. Their catharsis will come with his if they could just wait—

Wait…

Who was tugging on him?!

He dug his fingers into the bedrock, staying perfectly stiff and still. No one should be interrupting, because no one else was supposed to be here. And why on this barren earth should they be interrupting?! No one cared to go down fighting except him.

No one understood except him.

More pulling, now enough for him for scrabble for a handhold. He even turned and bit on one of his own vines to pull back, tugging back with just as much force. A guttural growl exited his ravaged throat as he did, and that just made him pull harder.

He did not know how much he had changed, for how long and deep he was digging. His body had already been broken when he slipped in. He was still moving and breathing despite all his organs falling out, his hair was caked in dirt and growing unchecked, there was dried blood under his clawed fingernails…

No, this simply wouldn’t do. No one can see him like that. No one should.

He wrenched the vine back harshly, an agonized wail exiting his throat as he did. The thorns were pricking the roof of his mouth, but he didn’t want to get out. He shouldn’t.

“DEAR, PLEASE.”

“no” he growled back simply, staying put. Who dared speak to him? Everything was supposed to be dead.

(and why was his voice so unfamiliar to himself?)

“THERE IS NOTHING FOR YOU DOWN THERE.”

“that’s exactly the point”

“YOU HAVE TO COME OUT LIKE THE REST OF CREATION. THAT’S SIMPLY HOW IT HAS TO BE.”

“no it doesn’t”

“WHYEVER DO YOU THINK SO?”

“because I TRIED”

He pulled back the vine with a small hop, swinging his head back and forth like a wolf breaking a fawn’s neck. His face felt wet.

(that was odd, all his blood was supposed to be spent)

“I TRIED, I gave myself, I did everything right, but it didn’t take me it WOULDN’T TAKE ME”

A primal snarl left him as the vine was wrenched back in reply, thorns raking across his mouth and lips and teeth as the vine flung itself out of his jaws. He tried to bite it again, only to flinch and wail at the pain.

“I NEED EVERYTHING THAT EXISTS TO REKINDLE IT. IT WON’T BE ABLE TO COME BACK IF YOU DIG ANY DEEPER.”

“it’s NOT COMING BACK”

He pounced deeper to forestall the iron grip, only to stumble and fall like a dog on a choke chain.

“let GO OF ME”

“I’M NOT LEAVING YOU BEHIND.”

“let me GO LET ME DIE”

“DEAR, PLEASE.”

He felt a more familiar kind of grip on his back, like someone picking up a kitten by the scruff of the neck.

“I said BACK I SAID BACK”

With a sudden rage-filled movement, he whirled back and bit…something. He didn’t really know what it was. His teeth sunk into it as easily as it would flesh, but it splintered into his wounds like shattered bark. He doubled over at the surprise shock of the pain, letting out a gurgling scream-moan.

“…DEAR, PLEASE COME OUT.”

Slowly, he felt himself being pulled back. He could only feebly grip the dirt and feel it skid beneath his fingernails in protest.

“why do you keep calling me that”

There was a pause.

“…DEAREST, I KNOW YOU’RE UPSET, BUT DON’T YOU REMEMBER ME?”

He seemed to break through the dirt then and found himself promptly surrounded.

Not surrounded as in there was a crowd, but perhaps that was partially correct. When he came out, he wasn’t met with that beige, smoggy sky that he remembered. He didn’t see the sky at all, instead he found himself surrounded by shades of black and pine green, intermixed with blue gray. He felt it on all sides, pressing up and pushing against him and squeaking like living fuzzy organisms.

He was being held in a palm, he realized. Sprawled upon it, to be precise, being as smothered as he was.

Some very sad eyes were looking at him. They were the eyes of a woman much bigger than him, poised like a weeping willow with her hair as the leaves but her face gazing out from such a forest. She was so close to him now, and her leaves seemed to nip at him and hide his ravaged body as she embraced him with all that she had.

“dear,” she said.

…ah.

Ahhhh.

Ahhhh, ahhhhh, ahhhh—

“Don’t, don’t scream, please…” she murmured, and Lilieve never murmured.

He was Adam now, like he always was. But oh, he felt terrible, horrible. He hadn’t even realized he was screaming until she said so. Water was streaming from his eyes like waterfalls. He couldn’t even say he felt as gutted as the day he buried himself, because that felt like nothing compared to this new yet paradoxically familiar pain. He didn’t even know if it was the same pain he had when he fell asleep.

People don’t often feel their son’s very necrosis set in when he dies deep beneath the sea, after all. That was still here, and fresh, and raw, but there was something else now, something just as ugly.

His shaking gaze eyed the gash upon the bark-flesh of one of her wrists.

“why did I do that”

“You were somewhere else, dear. Sometime else. You didn’t recognize me, because why would you? You hadn’t known me then.”

“but why did I fight you”

“Because something went wrong. I know not what. The earth responded to me that time, and not to you.”

“but”

God, that gash that gash—

“I bit you”

“You were scared.”

“you didn’t fight me when I heard you before”

“I wasn’t scared then. I was simply sad, and angry.”

“but”

“I trusted you then. You didn’t trust me this time, but you were scared. It’s okay.”

She leaned in closer to him, her children shifting like leaves in the breeze with the movement. Her lips gently touched his forehead, and he let out a deep sob.

“Shhh…I promise it’s okay. I understand.”

“I hurt so bad”

She grimaced, as if an arrow hit her heart.

“…I know. That is the one thing I can no longer bear. So please, let me do this for you.”

From the undulating sea of her children emerged another of her arms, palm facing upwards. Without so much as even the littlest of sobs, a waterfall of tears pooled upon her hand, forming a gray puddle across her entire palm. The puddle shook and began to rise and solidify. It was less like a reversal of a melting ice cube, and more like clay on a pottery wheel.

Soon, she held a singular fruit in her palm. It was familiar in its non-descript yet ever-changing shape, like the fruit from the tree in their garden that held healing warmth that risks temptation and addiction to anyone else but them, like the fruit that held their memories with all their ugliness and sorrow from the tree they dream about sometimes.

She offered it to him with the demurest of gestures, so different and so much more sorrowful than anyone else that ever held a forbidden fruit.

“Please, I beg of you, eat this. It will make you forget. It will take all of this away. No more will you feel the pain of your son, no more will you feel these stinging memories, no more will you feel any pain. You will simply be, and if that can bring your smile back then so be it…”

Her voice broke in the last few words.

Adam stared at the fruit. His tears fell relentlessly, but he remained silent and still.

Then, he shook his head.

“eve,” he whispered. “you would not take this had I been the one to offer it to you”

She faltered. Then, as she moaned like a creaking floorboard, the fruit dissolved back into tears in her open palm. It rained down through her fingers into the ground below.

“…why not…?”

Adam shifted his position, cautiously letting out a shaking (clawless) hand to press a clump of her children close to his face as if they were a towel. He felt them nuzzle his cheek, frantically lapping up all his tears, as stainless as they were in a dream. Such sweet darlings.

“I cannot bear to forget my sons, even as their pain ravages my body”

Oh, Lilieve’s eyes were so lovely too. They were deep and ancient, like his. Reversed like an image in a mirror. Whyever did she not ask if he could get lost in them instead? If he could get lost in that dark forest for just a little bit, the pain would ebb. He wouldn’t even be alone then. Every forest that ever existed was a part of her.

(but he knew he couldn’t do that, too much time would pass without him knowing)

“I don’t want to forget even a single moment with you, even the ones where I didn’t know you yet”

Lilieve wept, and you could feel her weep. The clouds of children shivered and whistled like the wind.

“I don’t know how to get your son out. We’ve tried everything, but my children can’t get him in time before the pressure gets them first…”

More of Adam’s tears came, as silent as hers usually were.

“I know”

“I just want this to end.”

“I know”

“Seeing you like this makes my insides feel as if they were split apart with an axe.”

“seeing you cry alone makes me feel like I’ve been trampled”

“I want to make it go away.”

“but what would be left of us had we the choice to?”

She remained silent.

“let me mourn, please”

“It hurts to.”

“I’m not asking you to leave me by myself”

He curled up in her palm, her children reminiscent of a blanket upon his shivering body.

“you saw what happened back there”

“I know.”

“please stay with me”

He wondered briefly if he was only able to get this out properly because he was asleep. Had he been awake his voice would be drowned out by his own incoherent cries, all except those words he must’ve echoed throughout time and time and time and time and time and time.

Lilieve got closer, her body shrinking to be as small as him, but her hair like leaves kept surrounding him. Her children were beginning to sing again.

“If I could,” she said softly as she wrapped her many arms around him. Her expression was a mix of pain and love. “I would press you down between the pages of a book made with my own leaves. You would grow dry and brittle, and you would have no more roots, but I would preserve you for all of time.”

He nuzzled against her neck and chest, shakily embracing her back.

“if I could, I would burrow down within your feathers until I reached your heart, and I would fall asleep within your chest to its beating”

“I would cut open your sternum and pull your very ribs around me if it meant I could be near your own heart.”

“I would drill into your sycamore trunk and live there like a bug”

She kissed him gently, and he kissed her too as the dream became enveloped by her leaves. There was nothing except her presence and her lips and her arms and her love and her children’s singing and eventually even his own tears disappeared.

And she knows he would’ve done the same for her.

#surreal horror #oc writing #original writing #romance #surreal romance doesn't come up as an auto tag for some reason that is the Only way to describe them #dreamcore #weirdcore #tanzaku #surrealism #original mythology

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wraithclatter · 8 months ago

Text

The Seeding Of Force

"Ive seen the base and passionless things we trample, create, become eulogies for God."

Measurement is vulgarization, defilement of existence. Units of force are known by their blows- this is the coming to true understanding of energy without inert and sterile numerical attributions gumming up the nervous system. The beauty of an occulted sunset thrown across a ragged and brooding sky while the ocean nurses and nourishes the wounds of the shore is something all life witnesses, experiences, and can feel the lasting rings of creation beating blindly through their veins. It is the meaning of incarnation- for the reflection and the reflected to stand face to face and the abolishment of the sorcery that is the malignant use of categorization and the phantasms of the idle and sedated mind to be thwarted and a life realizing there is no reflection, and all of the data scavenging across time and space resulted from a simple question:

"How was this solved?"

"Art as a fraction of the smile of God."

II.

Obsessively, unconscious,

As like one in a swooned

Fever of rosaried movement,

We try to force the hand of creation.

Prompted by obliterating ghosts

Which string beads of influence

Around our brain-stems-

The neuse of possession.

We creeping things,

Children of worms,

Signalled by creation's wine

And its contents reacting

To stimuli,

Are compelled to

Commit to the verb

From the ancestral stirrings

Of the North Wind

In our blood;

The same wind which

Animates the jaws of animals,

That entangles the weaved fortunes

Of lovers into

A blind immolation,

That rouses the wet machinery

Of sentience to carve out

Their own traps

Forged from memory

For future self-imprisonments

Out of The Verb

Passing from the here

To the then.

The fox condemns the trap

And not it's own behavior.

The fish passes into the snake

And the snake to a dove

Then chokes on its feathers.

The dove likewise;

Suffocates upon the snake.

To know how the

Cold heart of a

Predator ticks

Yet hold its poison at bay:

This is the way.

To not lose the innocence

And love of the beating,

Bleeding battlefield

Of this fever dream.

The wisdom of serpents,

The purity of a newborn lamb.

This, too, is the way.

I stir for the brave deed

And its terrible triple death.

No longer can I sleep-

For I am witness.

The sound of dropping

Bone-upon-bone,

The chattering of the

Skulls' ghost-prophecies,

Causes the flock

To clutch their palms

In anticipation for

An artificial scythe to fall

Upon the streams of flesh screaming

For plagues to quit the earth

And for the sand and soil

To re-cover all the foot-prints

That have been laid down,

Tread, and all time to be

Sucked back into that

Bright Silence beyond the

Brainy fantasy and all it's

Collective neural lightning.

This is no alien's dust-

Whether of Adam and Eve,

The rib of the primordial beast,

The mother's hollow space,

We are it and bound together;

Whether exiled or enthroned,

We are bound together.

Learn this secret from the

Movements of arms and the galloping

Of soft and firm legs.

The school of fish taking the human oath

And seeing it through. Rush the dust,

Ye worms. A voice calls-

Its language and meaning obscure,

And the metamorphoses "begins"...

III.

In small cycles of breath

A sliver of mind,

Yet-to-congeal thoughtlessness

Scaled the tides,

climbed from that Primal Season;

Of which countless generations

Spawned such beautiful aberrations;

Mutations which now

Grasped at the dust-

Water and scales traded for

Fresh Earth, mud

and the scurryings cast

In the clay of The Matriarch-

reaching with

Embryonic ghost-hands

For the fatal organic technology

Of the aggregate: The Dust Shape,

The Armor of Ignorance,

Assuming the Jousters position

Into upright spine, from

4-legged savagery to 2-legged

Violence and cruelty, and want

Of love. But in that

Chasm of brain-stem,

The fish's pulse still beckons,

And a reptile's cold life-force,

Ever-frozen, void of pity,

Slithers through the

Hollow channels of our veins.

And all prey sacrificed to the bowels

Of The Human-Hive

Stand in spirited tribes waiting

In the Dark Country past the pupils-

Their ranks assimilated yet mutinous,

As is their nature.

The mind as a phantom's penitentiary,

And the wardens have long been overrun.

The Cloud of Quantification,

Precise and scienced, smothers

the flickering Bright Silence-

the monarch within

Our skeletal structure-

And we forget the reciprocal cohesiveness

We share with all things:

The sacred data that could be

singing from our lips lovingly,

Singed by the Ritual Fire of an

Abused Brain, loses its potency

And determination in the dead,

Ossified figures worn into the

Tablets of Human Understanding.

To quantify that which has no attributes-

Not from want of substance but

The contrary. Define all movements of

The sea and deep-space collisions

And a-temporal expansions of celestial

Phenomena at the same time-

In a word-

All

Movement

And action eternally sustained

Like the resounding note of a piano chord

Or sparkling droplet of sweat pregnant

With the light of all life.

The pre-meditated separation

Of Soul from Substance

Takes its toll-

Until all sight is lost,

All hearing drained from the ears,

And we are shuffled into, prompted,

To live in a selfish void deprived of

The Limitless Potentiality;

The Self-Vampyric Protocol:

A feedback loop of

Mouth-to-body-to-blood.

The narcissist's ring

Which seduces its wearer

Into frenzied destruction.

Self-sufficiency on a

Dwindling source, and the vampyre

Shivers away into dust.

Now the brain-as-gallows,

The nervous system as hangman's doom,

Having been un-heavened from Eden,

Shaking, Laboring Life finds itself in

A world full of opposing forces,

Pent up with coiled springs

Of potential clashing with their

Colorful shadows, endless

Flower-wars, and endless

Feuds of flesh.

The brain is a rumor,

An empirical myth,

Until it is outside,

On cold slab or pavement.

Paradise as utopia is poison.

But paradise as experience,

As ever-rising in each

One eternal moment,

Is experienced without

The Hieroglyphed Skull.

IV.

In a wet mind, a dry tongue,

Enshrouded in soiled confusion,

The ciphers of instinct crowd

Fertile ground in the Brain's Beacon-

Nudging the ever-recording earth,

Muted designs; architecture of our

Sustained creation chaining us to

The raw mechanics of this

intoxicating tournament.

We are gripped by the predator's snare-

So much so we lose sight of the scent

Of the Questing Beast

And its chalice of Noumena;

Confused by the plagiarized

Smoke-signals of the Great Manipulator.

We are lost to phantom pathways

Dancing in witch-light

About us, drawing (us) farther

And farther away.

What is that first secret?

Does the moon water it in silence?

The sun blessing it in bright waves?

What shape does it take on

In thought and tongue and deed?

What is the teleology of speech?

Of fluctuation, of the compulsion

Of sentience to speak, to move,

to tear after the roving patterns

of lights In our skulls?

from first movement All comes to Incessantly spin about us

Like flies above carrion, dizzied and

Crying out for the warm abyss.

We have succeeded in birthing

Bitter hunters chasing the horrors

Of others' fabrication, to keep spirits

And life-deprived shades standing

To face us in the laboratory's glass.

The token we presume will liberate

Our curiosity and domesticate it in

Fragile and ill-designed demarcations.

"If you can keep it, and be eternally

Satiated, you may leave." A rigged game

It seems sometimes, thats the rub of it.

And so like stunted cattle we huddle

Together for warmth in the shifting,

Shallow and water-logged fields of

The predator's pasture.

Cruelty and its scarring implements

Carve out a botched path we are

Coerced into following. To replace

Our running red raiment with shame

And self-hatred of subject and object-

This has calculated us, or made us

Predicable and exploitable. Action

Quantified and re-packaged so that

There is no novelty to new incarnations.

With immediate understanding

And arousal to action we compute

The pale truth:

we are that spectre in a glass.

#poem #poetry #writing #original poem #photohraohy #philosophy #Force #Spirit #Soul #And Source #Of All Things

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atomic-taco-muffin · 3 years ago

Text

The Legend of Hana Chapter 87

Warnings: Fluff/angst

Rating: SFW

Hana and the others had returned to the Mysterious Tower floating in the Real Between. Sora, still asleep, sat propped against the wall with his legs splayed out. Hana and Riku knelt beside him, while Mickey and the others stood off to the side.

“Seven lights, thirteen darknesses... Master Xehanort has been busy,” Yen Sid murmured and closed is eyes, once he had received the report.

“Aw, Sora. Don't tell me your heart's sleeping, too,” Mickey said to his young friend.

“No, Mickey. This affliction is not the same,” the sorcerer said to him, and Mickey looked up at him.

“Can we do anything for him?” Riku asked. Everyone else waited anxiously for the reply, too.

“In your Mark of Mastery exam, you were to unlock seven Sleeping Keyholes. By doing so, you would awaken those worlds from their prison of slumber, and also acquire the power to free a heart from its sleep. Riku, you unlocked those Keyholes within Sora's dreams. Therefore, it stands to reason that you now have the power to awaken Sora's heart.”

“You want him to dive back into Sora's sleep? But Master, Sora's heart is down in the darkest abyss,” Mickey protested before Riku could reply. “If Riku's not careful, he might just get trapped down there with him. No... I'll go instead.”

“No way. I’m going,” Hana interjected. Hana had to save Sora. She just had to. But Yen Sid disagreed.

“And perhaps you two may even succeed. But there is no denying Riku stands the better chance, having dived into Sora's heart as long as he has. Besides, you need rest, Hana.”

“He’s right, Hana. We’ll head back home and your dad will stay here till Sora wakes up,” Luna added. Hana sighed and looked at Sora.

“Alright,” she mumbled. Riku studied his friend’s sleeping face for a moment and then broke into a gentle smile.

“Don’t worry, Hana. I’ll bring him back,” he said.

“You better. Otherwise, I’ll kill you,” Hana snarled.

“A-alright.” Hana stood up and walked with her family back to the family mansion. After a bow to Yen Sid, Riku gripped his Keyblade in his hand, raised it up, and held it out at Sora. Light radiated from Riku’s Keyblade, the portal that appeared began to shine. With that, Riku dove into Sora’s sleep.

☽✧☽✧

Once Hana and her family reached the family mansion, Hana rushed inside and locked herself in her room. Luna didn’t think too much of it. She thought that Hana just needed time to relax. She headed to the garden and began taking care of her plants. While she was doing that, Mukuro headed to Twilight Town to reunite with her twins. Rumi and Ansem tagged along and they arrived at their home where Nightmare was happy to see his family once again.

“Hi, sweet boy! Oh, how I’ve missed you!” Mukuro said as she gave Nightmare well deserved pets. She looked at the mansion and saw how destroyed it was. Ansem saw the look on her face and placed a gentle kiss to her head.

“We’ll fix it. Don’t worry,” he said.

“Yeah. And our family will be back together again!” Rumi added. Mukuro smiled softly and turned to the two.

“You’re right. Now then, let’s go bring the triplets home,” she said. They headed into town, walked through it, and soon found the triplets buying ice cream. Sea-Salt Ice Cream to be exact.

“Why am I not surprised?” Mukuro smiled. Hayner looked over and spotted his family, and dropped his ice cream.

“Mom...?” he whispered. Mukuro waved and he ran to her while crying, confusing Pence and Olette. Hayner hugged Mukuro tight and sobbed, happy to see his mother back. “You’re back! I missed you so much!”

Pence and Olette looked at Mukuro and felt all of their memories of her come back.

“MOM!” they cried and ran to hug their mother.

“C’mere, babies! I’m back and I’m never leaving again!” Mukuro smiled. Rumi and Ansem joined the hug and they were a family once again.

☽✧☽✧

Darkness was in everywhere. Some inky fluid covered the ground, while a black miasma rose toward the sky. This was the chasm of Sora’s dreams. The liquid seemed to be massing up ahead, gathering together into the shape of a person.

“What?” Riku asked. When he readied his Keyblade, the humanoid mass turned into a suit of armor he had never seen before. It was about the same height as Riku’s current form--himself before he had left Destiny Islands. And then in the hands of the Armored Nightmare was a Keyblade of purest jet.

“What are you...?” Riku whispered, but whether or not it heard him, the armor closed the gap between them at incredible speed and went on the offensive. As soon as Riku stopped the blow, the armor dove into the lightless morass at its feet and disappeared. “Where’d it go?”

While Riku was distracted, three huge spheres appeared from the darkness and came at him. He knocked them away before they could surround him, but the Nightmare abruptly reappeared in front of him with a devastating attack. As he blocked again, Riku noticed something. Aside from the color, the Nightmare’s Keyblade was very similar to Sora’s. His opponent seized Riku’s moment of hesitation and landed a chain of blows. This wasn’t a foe he could defeat by giving it any less than his all, although the idea wasn’t his favorite. His mind made up, Riku parried it attacks. And when he did--it stopped. with an especially powerful blow, Riku knocked the Armored Nightmare away and thrust his Keyblade at his opponent before he could get back up. And before Riku knew it, he was smiling. He landed a final strike on the Nightmare, and the armor cracked. The protective shell shattered with a flash, and Sora appeared from within while the shroud over the world around him began to clear. But--

“Sora!” Though Riku grabbed for him, Sora was sinking into the darkness at his feet. He reached out desperately, but he was too late. All that remained was Sora’s Keyblade. “I'll find you, Sora.”

Riku picked up Sora’s Keyblade and raised it toward the center of this place--the darkness of sleep--and a Sleeping Keyhole appeared. This was the door leading to the innermost depths of Sora’s heart. Light shot out from the Keyblade and into the Keyhole, which glowed brighter and brighter until everything went white.

☽✧☽✧

Hana turned on her shower and sat in there, replaying the events in her head. From her kidnapping, to the branding, to the prophetic dream of her father. She wanted to cry, but couldn’t feel any tears. She laid her head against the wall and remember every moment with Sora.

“Please be okay, baby boy,” she whispered.

☽✧☽✧

Riku found himself on a wooden walkway of the isles he called home--the Destiny Islands. And standing there in the sunset was not Sora but--

“Roxas?” Riku asked the golden-haired boy.

“What is it that you're so afraid of?” Roxas asked. Riku wasn’t quite sure how to answer, but he soon came up with an answer.

“Losing something that's important,” he said. At his answer, Roxas disappeared. Riku had began to walk from the bridge to the beach. He remembered playing tag here with Sora countless times. This time, a boy who looked a lot like Roxas appeared before him.

“Roxas? No, wait...” Riku said. Something was different--not only his clothes but something else about the way her carried himself.

“What is the one thing you care about more than anything else?” the boy asked. Again, Riku was unsure. There was only one answer--what mattered to him more than anything and what terrified him to lose.

“My close friends.” Again he answered, and the Roxas look-alike was gone. Riku had no idea what was going on here anymore. He suddenly looked up and saw someone sitting on the paopu tree on the islet. “Sora!”

He hurried over across the bridge, and there he found a dark-haired girl in a black coat, taking in the sunset.

“Who are you?” he asked. Without even turning his way, the girl asked him a question in return, her eyes still on the sun sinking below the horizon.

“Riku. What do you wish?”

“More questions...all right...” This time, Riku knew exactly what to say. He stood next to the girl and leaned against the tree. “To recover something important that I lost.”

As soon as he gave his response, light engulfed him, and he found himself back on the beach. A small bottle came drifting in from the sea, painted red by the setting sun.

“What's this?” Riku murmured as he picked it up, and then he heard a voice.

“You were not the visitor I expected.” DiZ...no, Ansem the Wise, was walking toward him across the sand.

“What are you doing here?” Ansem the Wise strode over to the waterline without it so much as a glance at Riku.

“Perhaps I wanted to atone for events of the past...” He paused for a moment, perhaps considering his next words. “...Even if no apology can undo the harm I have wrought. I felt...that I ought to leave at least something behind. So I digitized myself and my research, and hid them within Sora.”

Riku looked to the bottle in his hand.

“So this is...data?” he asked.

“Yes. A clue, I hope, to finding yourselves or your lost friends in your hour of need,” Ansem the Wise replied. “The heart has always been quick to grow. Each exposure to light, to the natural world, to other people, shapes this most malleable part inside of us. Nobodies are not different from us in that manner. Sora was the only one able to return to his human form without destroying his Nobody. That is a statement to the love in his heart for other people, and the bonds that tie them together. Perhaps...he has the power to bring back the hearts and existences of those connected to him-- to recreate people we thought were lost to us forever. Our most precious treasures--even an empty puppet--the trees of the forest, and the petals on the wind--there are hearts around us everywhere we look. And it does not take superhuman powers to see them. Surely we remember as children the way our hearts made everything seem so shiny, and perfect. Sora has a heart like that--uncorrupted, willing to see the good before the bad. When he sees the heart in something, it then becomes real. When a connection seems broken, he may have the power to mend it.”

Silently, Riku just listened.

“He has touched countless hearts, he has accepted them, and he has saved them. And some of those hearts have never left him--whether they fell into darkness or were trapped there--whether they sleep in the darkness of Sora's heart, or were welcomed into its warmth--they can be saved. All Sora needs to do is be himself and follow wherever it is that his heart takes him. It is the best and the only way,” Ansem the Wise said as he pointed to Riku’s bottle. “The rest is in there.”

“All right. Thanks. Thank you,” Riku replied. The sage looked at Riku.

“Of course. Now why is it that you are here?”

“Uh...I kinda need to wake Sora up.” Ansem the Wise smiled faintly at that.

“Don't tell me he's gone to sleep again?”

“Yeah. What'll I do with him?” Riku smiled back.

“What, indeed?” Riku had worked with DiZ in the past, but stopped as soon as he found out what was happening to Yui’s family. But this time, they simply shared a warm smile. “Never fear. Sora is safe.”

“Huh?” RIku asked instinctively.

“He's not here. You see, by defeating the Nightmare imprisoning Sora, you freed him.”

“You mean...the Sora wrapped in that black phantom?” Ansem the Wise nodded gently.

“Then, you came here, and you were questioned by three young people. That was the final key to awaken him. Sora is awake. You can go home now,” he said.

“Really? Thank you.” Riku expressed his gratitude again, then held up his Keyblade aloft. A Keyhole rose there, and the beam of light lanced into it. As the boy rose into the air, Ansem the Wise had one final question for him.

“Young man! I do not believe you ever told me your name,” he said. He had asked him the question once before, back when Riku knew him as DiZ. Riku had once answered with another name, but this time, he could hold his head high and say who he really was.

“It's Riku.” He nodded at Ansem the Wise with a smile and vanished into the glow from the Keyhole.

☽✧☽✧

“Is Riku still not back?” Sora had awakened with ravenous hunger from his time asleep, and he was stuffing his face with some cake that had been set out on a table. Xigbar was trying not to snap, because he needed to get to Hana. Beside Sora, Mickey and Lea, who was sitting backward on his chair, looked over at Riku with concern. Yui came over to visit, because of how worried she was for Riku. She laid his head on her lap and gently stroked his hair, silently praying for him to wake up. Quite some time had passed since Sora came to, so it was odd that Riku had yet to wake. Or so they thought, when Riku stirred.

“Riku?” Yui asked. Riku’s eyes flew open, and he sat upright.

“Sora!” he shouted--and then he saw his best friend, getting chewed out by Xigbar.

“Listen to me kid! You need to get to Hana! None of this bullshit here! You can eat at Luna’s! Now get your ass moving!” he said.

“Okay, okay!” Sora replied. He ran out of the tower and headed to Luna’s family mansion, leaving Riku with Yui.

“Hey, bunny,” he said, kissing her lips gently.

“Hi,” she replied. “I’m so glad your home.”

“I’m glad I’m home too. And I’m glad Sora’s safe now.” Yui took his hand and led him outside the tower.

“C’mon. Let’s head home,” she said. Riku nodded and they headed over to Ansem’s mansion, where he had gave Xemnas and his family the guest rooms.

☽✧☽✧

Sora had arrived at Luna’s mansion and made his way through the many halls till he found Hana’s room. He knocked on the door and a few seconds later, Hana opened the door, dressed in a hoodie and sweatpants.

“Sora...” she gasped.

“Hi, baby,” he smiled. Hana pulled Sora into a tight hug and softly cried into his shoulder. Sora held her close and stroked her hair, telling her everything was okay. Hana soon pulled Sora into her room and they cuddled on her bed, with Fenwick of course. Just as Sora was about to fall asleep, Hana sat up in bed, making Sora look at her in confusion.

“Sora, there’s something I need to tell you,” she said.

“What is it?” he asked, worriedly. Hana took a shaky breath and started speaking.

“It’s time I tell you my story,” she said.

To be continued...

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the-restless-ffxiv · 3 years ago

Text

A Dance of Dreams (Ch 1)

The smell of earth and the sounds of the forest were the first thing Dehl noticed. As she opened her eyes she found herself awash in green, the sunlight shining through the canopy of trees above her. She looked around hesitantly. The area looked like Gridania… but… different somehow. She pursed her lips, trying to remember when she had left the school. She couldn't remember the journey, or when she had arrived.

Brushing away her confusion Dehl began walking and, as she did she noticed the light fading. The golden beams became darker, the green shadows taking on a red hue. Dehl looked up, and, as she did she saw the second moon, low in the sky. Her ears dropped as her brow furrowed. "The Dalamud? But… how?" As she watched a bright light flashed. She turned away from the sky, covering her eyes. This wasn't right. As her vision cleared she turned and found the scene had changed. Dehl stood in front of a small house in a clearing. Blinking, she pressed her tongue between her molars and felt a sharp pain. Hissing she opened her mouth and lifted a hand to her… fangs? Dehl dropped her hand quickly to look at herself. As she did she took a step back, as though to step back from herself. The golden tan skin was no longer. Instead the back of her hands were grey, almost faintly blue.

Before Dehl could react to the discovery she felt a thrum through the ground below her feet. Staggering she tried to keep her balance before a great cry rose in her mind. A thousand voices that weren’t pierced her mind as she fell to her knees, her hands flying up to cover her ears as she squeezed her eyes shut. The shrieking continued, the wail of the spirits in her mind alone. The cries subsided only slightly. Dehl opened her eyes, looking up to the cabin. She tried to stand, the earth still shaking beneath her feet she walked unsteadily toward the house. Before she could climb the steps the door flew open as her family... No. Her family? She didn’t know who her family was… But, it was her mother. Her sisters. She looked up to the other Keepers, a growing sense of dread as they all rushed out of the house, fearfully looking to the sky.

“Nena! I thought you were with Ezi and Kiluh.” Ezi… Kiluh… Dehl remembered her friends. Girls of the family that lived with them… She had been with them before she came back to the house. But… how did she know that?

“Take Asuh.” Her mother handed over the young girl into her arms. “Amey, Emei, leave it! There’s no time.” The woman looked up behind Nena at the Twelveswoods behind her, a look of horror on her face. Nena turned to see a red glow flickering brightly over the canopy. “A forest fire.” She turned as her mother grabbed Emei’s hand, shouting to Amey and her sisters to run.

She ran with her family. Shutting her eyes when the cries picked up, stumbling as she tried to keep moving. Branches and brush flew past as they ran. As they did Nena felt the air around them grow warmer. There was another wave through her mind, the wailing rising, overtaking her senses. Closing her eyes against the pain she stumbled again. Amey grabbed her arm, righting her before taking Asuh, “Nena keep up. Don’t stop!” They ran on, the air growing thick with smoke before they slid to a stop at the edge of a chasm.

Out of breath, she looked to her mother as the woman turned, looking frantically left and right for a way across. A few feet away from the chasm Nena looked down into the split earth, the walls of the rift dove into darkness. Taking a step back she felt an arm pull her, “girls, come here.” She felt her mother wrap an arm around her, Emei and Amey pressed against her as she looked up. “I love you. I love you girls, so much.” She felt her mother kiss her head. Nena felt as if her heart had fallen into the chasm in front of her as her mother kissed her and her sisters. We’re not going to get away… I’m… not… Nena felt the tears well up in her eyes before they ran down her soot covered cheeks, her legs nearly giving out below her. If she hadn’t been held up she would have dropped to the ground.

As they stood there… waiting… Nena suddenly felt a yank, nearly pulled off her feet. Coming back to herself she heard her sisters, “over there, it went this way.” Emei and Amey shouted back and forth, “did you see where it went?” “It wants us to follow.” Nena looked around in confusion as she was dragged along by her mother, she looked forward, “what. What does?”

Amey turned back, “a moogle. It’s leading us somewhere.” Dragged through the forest they reached a large tree, nearly 10 feet wide, that had fallen in the chaos, landing over the chasm. Nena felt her mother hand Asuh back to her as she turned, lifting the girls to help them climb onto the tree. Climbing up herself she turned to take Asuh before grabbing Nena’s hand, pulling her up to the tree. Walking carefully across they reached the other side, dropping down as their flight continued.

******

Dehl shot up in her bed drenched in sweat, breathing heavily. Looking around in a panic, hands gripping the mattress beneath her she turned, eyes searching the darkness. As her senses returned to her, her mind catching up she looked down, panting. W-was it another nightmare? She tried to remember, eyes darting back and forth before she closed them. Something… She was running from something. In… Gridania?

Shaking her head as she loosened her grip on the bed beneath her she lifted her hand to brush the wet strands of hair out of her face. She felt the details fading as quickly as she had awoken. Inhaling deeply she looked up, leaning back as she relaxed. Whatever she had dreamt, she wasn’t going to remember it. She turned to look at her pillow before she tilted her head down. Dehl didn’t think she’d be able to fall asleep either. Licking her lips she quietly swung her legs over the edge of the bed and lowered herself past Azura’s bunk to the floor. She knelt, grabbing her slippers before she turned to walk out of the dorms and down to the beach.

Dehl walked down the path from the dorms to the beach, tossing her shoes near the wall as her bare feet hit the sand. She crossed her arms in front of her as she walked down to the water, looking out to the grey morning horizon.

Sighing heavily she walked out into the waves and climbed onto one of the rocks there. Tilting her head back, eyes closed, she tried shaking the uneasy feeling she had. Something had dragged her from her sleep suddenly. Starting awake she had sat for some time, the memory fading took quick for her to grab more than flashes. She'd been in a forest, but not one she had recognized. Running from something... Eventually she decided to leave the dorms and go to the beach.

Now that she was here she felt that same sensation she had had in the steppes. She was where she was supposed to be. Dehl raised her hands to her face, brushing her hair back as she slowly turned, looking around. But there was nothing there. She whispered as she came full circle, "What am I supposed to be looking for? Why here?" She rubbed her face before she dropped her hands to her side. Looking to Ahri she sighed again and shrugged. "Mmm... What am I supposed to do..." Her voice trailed off and she looked back at the horizon, feeling lost for the first time in her life.

Taking a deep breath she pursed her lips, making up her mind. "Eh. I'm not going to waste the day worrying about it... I'll just... Maybe eventually I'll understand." She raised her fists, taking her fighting stance as she settled herself to practice her basic movements. Similar to how she'd seen Hal practice. She went through her strikes, flipping and spinning as she did.

Eventually, as she practiced the movements that were now second nature to her she closed her eyes and her mind began to wander. As it did her movements began to flow together, her steps and spins more fluid and her fists relaxed from their grip on her imaginary blades. As the sun rose to the new day it found Dehl. The catte, eyes still closed, dancing gracefully across the top of the rock, surrounded by the ocean.

#miqo'te #ffxiv #therestlesswolves #la noscea #limsa lominsa

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lycanthrowup · 4 years ago

Text

a compilation of every time sapphique is mentioned

Who can chart the vastness of incarceron?

It’s halls and viaducts, its chasms?

Only the man who has known freedom

Can define his prison.

-Songs of Sapphique

There was a man and his name was sapphique.

Where he came from is a mystery. Some say he was born of the prison, grown from its stored components. Some say he came from Outside, because he alone of men returned there. Some say he was not a man at all, but a creature from those shining sparks lunatics see in dreams and name the stars. Some say he was a liar and a fool.

-Legends of Sapphique

Once sapphique came to the end of a tunnel and looked down a vast hall. Its floor was a poisoned pool of venom. Corrosive steams rose from it. Across the darkness stretched a taut wire, and on the far side a doorway was visible, with lights beyond it.

The inmates of the Wing tried to dissuade him. “Many have fallen,” they said. “Their bones rot in the black lake. Why should you be any different?”

He answered, “Because i have dreams and in those dreams i see the stars.” Then he swung himself up onto the wire and began to cross. Many times he rested, or hung in pain. Many times they called on him to return. Finally, after hours, he reached the other side, and they saw him stagger, and vanish through the door.

He was dark, this Sapphique, and slender. His hair was straight and long. His real name is only to be guessed at.

-Wanderings of Sapphique

You are my father, Incarceron.

I was born from your pain.

Bones of steel; circuits for veins.

My heart a vault of iron.

-Songs of Sapphique

The eyes in the corridor were dark and watchful and there were many of them. “Come out,” he said.

They came out. They were children. They wore rags and their skin was livid with sores. Their veins were tubes, their hair wire. Sapphique reached out and touched them, “You are the ones who will save us,” he said.

-Sapphique and the Children

Walls have ears.

Doors have eyes.

Trees have voices.

Beasts tell lies.

Beware the rain,

Beware the snow.

Beware the man

You think you know.

-Songs of Sapphique

Sapphique rode out of the Tanglewood and saw the Fortress of Bronze. People were streaming into its walls from all around. “Come inside,” the urged him. “Hurry! Before it attacks!”

He looked around. The world was metal and the sky was metal. The people were ants on the plains of the Prison.

“Have you forgotten,” he said, “that you are already Inside?”

But they hurried past and said he was deranged.

-Legends of Sapphique

Down the endless halls of guilt

My silver thread of tears is spilt.

My fingerbone the key that broke

My blood the oil that smoothes the lock.

-Songs of Sapphique

“Where are the leaders?” Sapphique asked.

“In their fortresses,” the swan replied,

“And the poets?”

“Lost in dreams of other worlds.”

And the craftsmen?”

“Forging machines to challenge the darkness.”

“And the wide, who made the world?”

The swan lowered its black neck sadly.

“Dwindled to crones and sorcerers in towers.”

-Sapphique in the Kingdom of Birds

Do you seek the key to Incarceron?

Look inside yourself. It has always been hidden there.

-The Mirror of Dreams to Sapphique

Sapphique strapped the wings to his arms and flew, over oceans and plains, over glass cities and mountains of gold. Animals fled; people pointed up. He flew so far, he saw the sky above him and the sky said, “Turn back, my son, for you have climbed too high.”

Sapphique laughed, as he rarely did. “Not this time. This time I beat on you until you open.”

But Incarceron was angered and struck him down.

-Legends of Sapphique

All my years to this moment

All my roads to this wall.

All my words to this silence

All my pride to this fall.

-Songs of Sapphique

He fell all day and all night. He fell into a pit of darkness. He falls like a stone falls, like a bird with broken wings, like an angel cast down. His landing bruised the world.

-Legends of Sapphique

He awoke and found them all around him. The old, lame, the diseased, the half-made men. He hid his head and was filled with shame and anger. “I have failed you,” he said. “I have journeyed so far and i have failed.”

“Not so,” they answered. “There is a door we know, a tiny, secret door. None of us dare crawl through, in case we die there. If you promise to come back for us, we will show you.” Sapphique was lithe and slender. He looked at them with his dark eyes. “Take me there,” he whispered.

-Legends of Sapphique

I have walked a stair of swords,

I have worn a coat of scars.

I have vowed with hollow words,

I have lied my way to the stars.

-Songs of Sapphique

Sapphique, they say, was not the same after his Fall. His mind was bruised. He plunged into despair, the depths of the Prison. He crawled into the Tunnels of Madness. He sought dark places, and dangerous men.

-Legends of Sapphique

How could you betray me, Incarceron?

How could you let me fall?

I thought i was your son.

It seems i am your fool.

-Songs of Sapphique

Once Incarceron became a dragon, and a Prisoner crawled into its lair. They made a wager. They would ask each other riddles, and the one who could not answer would lose. If it was the man, he would give his life. The Prison offered a secret way of Escape. But even as the man agreed, he felt its hidden laughter.

They played for a year and a day. The lights stayed dark. The dead were not removed. Food was not provided. The Prison ignored the cries of its inmates. Sapphique was the man. He had one riddle left. He said, “What is the Key that unlocks the heart?”

For a day Incarceron thought. For two days. For three. Then it said, “If i ever knew the answer, i have forgotten it.”

-Sapphique in the Tunnels of Madness

I could breathe fire on you,” the wirewolf growled. “Do it,” said Sapphique. “Just don’t throw me into the water.”

“I could gnaw your shadow away.”

“That’s nothing, compared with the black water.”

“I could crush your bones and sinews.”

“I fear the terrible water more than you.”

The wirewolf flung him angrily into the lake.

So he swam away, laughing.

-The Wirewolf Returns

Sapphique leaped up, overjoyed. “If you cannot answer, then I’ve won. Show me a way Out.” Incarceron laughed in its million halls. It raised a claw and the skin of the claw split and the dragonskin Glove curled off and lay on the ground.

Sapphique was alone. He picked the shining thing up and cursed the Prison.

But when he put his hand into Incarceron’s he knew its plans.

He dreamed its dreams.

-Sapphique in the Tunnels of Madness

So he rose up and sought the hardest way, the road that leads inward. And all the time he wore the Glove he did not eat or sleep and Incarceron knew all his desires.

-Legend of Sapphique

Hand to hand, skin to skin,

Twin in a mirror, Incarceron.

Fear to fear, desire to desire,

Eye to eye. Prison to prison.

-Songs of Sapphique

He opened the window and looked out at the night. “The world is an endless loop,” he said. “A Mobius strip, a wheel in which we run. As you have discovered, who have traveled so far just to find yourself where you started from.”

Sapphique went on stroking the blue cat. “So you can’t help me?”

He shrugged. “I didn’t say that.”

-Sapphique and the Dark Enchanter

I fooled the Prison

I fooled my father.

I asked a question

It could not answer.

-Songs of Sapphique

A great Fimbulwinter will close down on the world. Darkness and cold will spread from Wing to Wing. There will come one called the Unsapient, from far away, from Outside.

He will plot and scheme with Incarceron.

They will make the Winged Man.

-Sapphique’s Prophecy of the World’s End

What makes a prince?

A sunny sky, an open door.

What makes a prisoner?

A question with no answer.

-Songs of Sapphique

When he was born, silent and alone, his mind was empty. He had no past, no being. He found himself in the deepest place of darkness and loneliness.

“Give me a name,” he begged.

The Prison said, “I lay this fate on you, Prisoner. You shall have no name unless i give it to you. And I will never give it.”

He groaned. He reached out his fingers and found raised letters on the door. Great iron letters, riveted through.

After hours, he had grasped their shape.

“Sapphique,” he said, “will be my name.”

-Legends of Sapphique

“The fault is yours,” the Enchanter said. How could a Prison know of Escape but through your dreams? It would be best to give up the Glove.”

Sapphique shook his head. “Too late. It has grown into me now. How could i sing my songs without it?”

-Sapphique and the Dark Enchanter

He worked night and day. He made a coat that would transform him; he would be more than a man; a winged creature, beautiful as light. All the birds brought him feathers. Even the eagle. Even the swan.

-Legends of Sapphique

People will love you if you tell them of your fears.

-The Mirror of Dreams to Sapphique

Once he had crossed the sword-bridge he came to a room with a banquet of fine food spread on a table. He sat down and picked up a piece of bread, but the power of the Glove turned it to ashes. He picked up water but the glass shattered. So he traveled on, because he knew now that we was close to the door.

-Wanderings of Sapphique

As the Beast i took your finger.

As the Dragon i give you my hand.

Now you have crawled and clambered into my heart.

I can’t see you anymore.

Are you still here?

-Mirror of Dreams to Sapphique

The dove will rise above destruction

With a white rose in her beak

Over storm

Over tempest.

Over time and the ages.

And the petals will fall to the ground like snow.

-Sapphique’s Prophecy of the World’s End

He raised his hands. They saw his coat was feathered like the wings of the Swan when it dies, when it sings its secret song. And he opened the door that none of them had seen until now.

-Legends of Sapphique

He sang his last song. And the words of that have never been written down. But it was sweet and of a great beauty, and those that heard it were changed utterly.

Some say it was the song that moves stars.

-Sapphique’s Last Song

#incarceron #sapphique

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gustafsnightangel · 4 years ago

Text

Shattered Lives Ch 28 Pt 1

She woke sprawled out over him, her head on his chest, legs straddling his thigh. Her man was dead to the world, his arm around her, the other above his head, the leg she wasn’t currently occupying bent at a ninety degree angle, the covers tangled around them. She shifted carefully to rest her head on her elbow to watch him sleep, he didn’t so much as twitch.

“Sweet man.” She murmured softly, her fingers caressing his scalp tenderly. He was exhausted, emotionally done, the past few days had drained him. “I’m so in love with you.” She murmured laying there as the sunrise streaked the sky above the bed with pinks and peaches content to watch him sleep. She smiled at the gentle rise and fall of that massive chest, his giant frame resting at peace, a small measure of peace he’d fought hard to obtain.

Her thoughts drifted to their future, a life together raising four kids, what she’d asked from him last night. She felt lighter this morning, the relief he’d given her by saying he’d help. That soul crushing weight that had been pressing on her for over a year wasn’t completely gone, but it had become manageable. She knew she could trust him to help her, to support her and the kids when they needed it. Part of her still carried the guilt for even having to admit she’d needed help, she was an adult and supposed to be able to handle this. She chewed on it, how would they divide up their time, their lives, it was a learning curve for both of them and she was worried it would eventually be too much for him. How long before he grew tired of it and walked away? She banished that thought, it was a mindset she didn’t want to get into, an idea she definitely didn’t want to entertain.

She wasn’t ready for her birthday, mentally or emotionally. Looking at Gustaf’s sleeping form she felt her heart sink, she knew he’d organized something with the kids but in all honestly she didn’t want it. Didn’t want the fanfare, the attention, the happy smiles and well wishes, because she felt anything but happy. It wasn’t just losing her sibling, it was losing her twin, and nobody understood how that felt. No one could fully grasp the twin connection and the bond that runs deeper than DNA. She missed it, that connection they had even when they were miles apart. It was like Quinn had taken part of her soul with him when he left. This wide chasm of nothing, would it ever be whole again, she wondered? Would she ever be whole again, heal from it?

Her thoughts started snowballing from there, she had Christmas to get through. They had a Christmas tree to put up, to decorate, and meeting his family seemed so overwhelming. Her hand stilled as he shifted, his arm tightening around her making her smile.

“Stopthinking.” He slurred, his head turning enough to kiss her head and snuffle against hair. Her light chuckle causing him to crack an eye open and frown. “Whassofunny?” He mumbled.

“You are.” She stretched up to kiss him, erotically sinful and scrambling his sleep addled brain before it had even had the chance to comprehend it was morning, that he was awake, and that he had a naked woman in his bed. “You’re adorable when you just wake up.”

“Adorable?” His huff told her he wasn’t happy about that sentiment and giggled. “Imnotadorable.” He mumbled into the pillow.

“Oh but you are love.” She said, humor thick in her voice. Her hand cupped his cheek and she gently coaxed him out from face planting in the pillow to kiss him. “Adorable and sweet.” She teased, grinning at his huff as he chastely kissed her and buried his reddening face in the pillow again. “My sweet adorable handsome man.” He glared at her with one eye and she couldn’t contain the grin, she was enjoying this, so was he.

“Only to you love.” He said sarcastically and pulled her in tightly kissing those lips he craved every waking moment. “You romantic sap.” He grinned.

“I am for you. I’m not very good at it but I ...” His mouth claimed hers slowly, that lingering kiss that spoke of so much love. “Illegal.” She sighed out all dreamy.

“Mmm. Still gonna do it.” He breathed and kissed her again. He snuggled her in and melted into the mattress, pinning her to it. It was the perfect morning, one he wanted to lay there and savor. He’d told her he loved her, an accomplishment considering the emotional shit he’d been through. “Go back to sleep.” He murmured half drifting. “No more thinking.”

“You’re still adorable.” She muttered and smiled at his dramatic sigh.

“You divulge that to another living soul and there will be repercussions.” He said quietly into the pillow, his tone a cross between deadly serious and playful.

“Mmmm.” She nibbled her bottom lip and waited for his eyes to snap to hers, her grin playful.

“That’s a dangerous game to play love.” He growled, his thumb freeing her poor tormented lip. “Especially after last night.” He gripped her chin and brought her lips to his slowly before kissing her in much the same fashion. “I love the taste of you.” He murmured, dropping lazy kisses over her jaw and down her throat. She crumpled, he had that effect on her, his touch, his kiss, turned her all gooey.

That clever mouth teased hers, those eyes of ocean blue seductively drawing her under his spell. A sly smirk touched his lips as he cupped a breast gently and lowered his mouth to her nipple sucking it in his hot mouth. His hand raked the sheet from her body, the slow descent of it eliciting sweet moans from her mouth as he touched her.

Settling between her thighs he rested them over his shoulders and took her apart with agonizing patients. He feasted, tongue tasting, fingers gently caressing, taking his time to gradually pull her release from deep within her. Keeping her teetering on the edge he stroked a finger over her entrance, alternating it with his tongue. He’d lost himself to the beautiful task at hand, his woman in delirious ecstasy at his touch.

He hummed his approval as he slipped two digits inside her slowly and she arched off the bed, a soft cry from her lips. As he unraveled her he felt those slender fingers search for his, the need to feel him, connect with him. He entwined his fingers with hers as her other hand dove between her legs to caress his scalp urging him to take more. He sent her over the edge, hips grinding against his face as she bucked and writhed, that beautiful cry of his name as she came.

He kissed his way up her body as she caught her breath, chest heaving. Looking down into those soulful eyes he slipped inside her. Cupping his face in her hands she kissed him as his slow deep thrust buried him to his hilt. She kept him there as he started to move, the closeness, the tender gasps between them falling from their lips.

With her deliciously pinned under him he plunged. Each thrust he bottomed out, the erotic feeling of filling her so completely making him groan in pleasure. He held her against him tightly, their bodies moving as one, the closeness heightening their arousal.

“Sildie.” He breathed as her lips took his, the deep kiss making him groan and thrust harder. She whimpered as his pace quickened, both close and desperate for release.

Her kiss took him under as she came, that delightful cry into his mouth, her body thrashing under him. He devoured her lips as her pussy gripped him like a velvet vice, hips pistoning. A groan filled her ears as he came, the pulse of his cock filling her with his seed. Kissing her hard he prolonged their pleasure, each thrust deep causing her to tremble against him.

“God Sildie.” He breathed and kissed her tenderly as their chests heaved to force air into their lungs. “You’re so beautiful.” His eyes locked onto hers and she saw the love in them. “I love waking up with you.” Her light laugh and smile lit up his world. He loved seeing her this relaxed. That smile just for him. He kissed her fiercely. “I’m so in love with you.” His voice thick with emotion.

“My sweet man.” She smiled kissing him slowly, lingering to let her emotions calm down or he’d have her in tears. “I love you too.”

He rolled taking her with him and snuggled her in, his fingers raking through her hair softly. “So, what shall we do today?”

“You mean apart from fucking each other senseless?” She giggled.

“I’m game if you are.” He chuckled and kissed her as she stretched up to look at him.

“I’d like to to that walk you talked about Friday. Maybe soak in the hot tub after?” Her finger trailed his jaw. With all the emotional upheaval he’d gone through the past few days it was good to see him relaxed. His guard was down, those walls that kept the world at arms length demolished.

“I like the sound of that.” He kissed her tenderly. “Go for a walk in the cold.” His kiss deepened. “Then I can warm you up in the hot tub.” He growled, nipping her bottom lip playfully.

“Breakfast first though, I’m hungry.” She kissed him sweetly and went to rise, his arms caging her to him. “And I’ll get it. Don’t argue.” She said sternly pointing a finger at him. “I want to make you breakfast in bed.” He loosened his grip, he wasn’t going to fight her on it. He had to compromise. They still had a lot to work out and he’d bend for her just as she was bending for him.

“Ok.” He shrugged. Her smile was everything as she scrambled out of bed, pulled her robe on hastily and walked to the kitchen, his light chuckle in her wake.

He watched the clouds drift overhead, his mind at ease and energized. His thoughts drifted to their lives together. They were still in the early stages of their relationship but he felt they were on the right course. Slow and steady, she had a ton of grief to get through, so did the kids. He wasn’t out of the woods with Ana yet either but his mental state was better than it had been in months.

His ultimate plan was getting her through her birthday and Christmas, and have her moved in with him by the time he left for his next shoot. A plan he hoped wouldn’t spiral her anxiety out of control. The thought of twelve weeks away from her made him anxious, and he banished it from his mind for now. They’d get through it together, and probably better than the six week separation they’d endured a month or so ago. It would be difficult for all of them. At least he’d lanced Ana out of his life, out on of his soul. Sildie hadn’t given up on him, she’d fought for him, along side him. That healed a part inside of him that had long been broken.

His smile split across his face as he heard her in the kitchen, the soft jazz drifting through the cabin and the sound of her humming along. He got up to use the bathroom and stopped at the doorway to watch her, dancing around cooking, not a care in the world. He silently grabbed his phone, stood behind the wall so if she turned she wouldn’t see him, and hit the record button. He got a good ten minutes of that carefree woman before his bladder gave him the ultimatum, pee or die in a world of pain. That video would keep him sane when he was away, just being able to hear and see her happy, a rare grief free moment.

Pulling on his sweats he stoked the fire in the bedroom and sat on the window seat with the chunky throw draped over his lap. It was a sunny day out, the puffs of white clouds making their way lazily across the sky. He thought about asking her to move in with him, her hesitation at leaving her apartment. He could see the logic in it, more space, everyone under one roof, but he knew she’d see it as a hit to her independence. A blow to her pride of being the provider for the kids, he’d have to work on that before Wednesday or she’d turn him down flat.

She’d worked hard for that apartment, everything she’d provided for the kids and he didn’t want to tarnish that. He couldn’t ask for a quick answer, he knew her well enough now that she liked to chew things over. Give it time, he thought honestly, you can’t rush her with something so life changing.

His thoughts slipped to her birthday. There would be grief not just from Sildie but from the kids too. It was going to be a rough day and he hoped he hadn’t made it harder with his gift to her. His mind wandered, chewing and spitting things out as he sat and stared out the window.

She texted the kids while the pancakes were cooking, sent a few photos of the stunning view. Alice sent one back of the kids around the table eating breakfast, lots of smiles and silly faces. Brendan had so much to tell her when she got back and told her not to worry about them they were having a blast. Uncle Bill would be over again today and was prepared for retaliation from his ass whooping yesterday. A tear slipped free, Gustaf would never fully understand what he’d given the teen by taking on Brendan’s burden. He’d set the kid free and she loved him more for it. She was still feeling guilty for dumping all that on the kids shoulders to begin with, but in all honesty she hadn’t realized she’d been leaning on him so much.

She headed into the room with the tray and smiled. Her heart melted at the sight of him. That massive lanky body folded up on the window seat, lost in thought, relaxed, bare chest just waiting for her to snuggle into. Sitting the tray on the bed she discreetly snapped a few photos, he looked so peaceful she wanted to preserve the moment, to have something to remember when he was away for long periods of time.

Placing the tray on the window seat she stroked her knuckles down his scruff, his sharp inhale telling her he was miles away in his own head. “No more thinking love.” She said gently and smiled, his chuckle sheepish as she’d caught him doing the one thing he’d told her not to do this weekend. Those eyes, she thought as she gazed into them, she drowned in them every time.

His hands travelled up the back of her legs and under her robe as he pulled her closer, his mouth capturing hers in a tender kiss. “Sorry.” He mumbled, her fingers stroking his scruff. “I was far away.”

“Yes you were. Happy thoughts?”

“Mostly.” He smiled and kissed her sweetly, squeezing her ass. “Thank you.” He said kissing her tenderly. “For not giving up on me.” He murmured and he couldn’t keep his eyes from brimming with tears.

Her heart broke at his words. “Sweet man, I’ll never give up on you.” Her tone soft as her hands cupped his face. She brushed away the tears that fell silently and kissed him, soft, loving. “I love you.”

He wrapped his arms around her and held her tight, the residual emotions from last night still swimming in his head. Holding him to her she stroked a hand along his shoulders and down his spine, anything to soothe, to heal.

“Fuck I’m sorry.” He said huffing a chuckle. “Apparently I’m still a fucking mess.” She tilted his head back and his eyes met hers.

“Mess or not I still love you.” Her kiss was tender. “It’ll take time, you’re healing too.” He scrubbed a hand over his face and nodded.

“God we’re a pair aren’t we?” He said trying to lighten the mood.

“I’m proud of you.” She said gently, her thumb grazing the crows feet she adored. “You’ve worked so hard to get past her, to deal with what she was, what she did. You’re allowed to be a mess over it love.”

“I love you.” He choked. “So much.” He kissed her between tears, between sobs that threatened to undo him all over again.

She cradled his head to her chest and soothed as he wept, the sobs although gut wrenching, not as destructive as last night. He would heal, just like her he would heal, slowly and with as much love as she could give him.

“This looks really good.” He said pulling away and forcing his emotions back down, wanting to change the subject of what was on his mind as he looked at the stacks of pancakes and fresh fruit piled high on plates. He turned her slightly and pulled her into his lap, lips teasing a spot at her throat, her scent calming the tensing edges of raw emotion.

She kissed him sweetly, eyes searching to see if he was ok. She’d let him shut it down, they would deal with the fallout again another time, it was inevitable. “Eat.” She said softly and poured the tea as he rested a plate of pancakes on his knee and rolled the fruit into it like a burrito. Her giggle made him smile. “That’s one way to eat them.”

“My other hand is currently occupied.” He murmured as that hand slipped into her robe to gently palm a breast. He dipped his fruit pancake into the maple syrup and ate, his hum of approval making her smile. “Almost as sweet as you.” He said softly, his fingers stroking a nipple. “You’re still my favorite dessert.” He growled and gently bit down on the pulse at her neck causing a delightful shiver to run over her body.

They both ate, the meal also consisting of soft nibbles and tender kisses to sensitive skin. She turned her head to face him, those slender fingers caressing his chin. Leaning in slowly she kissed him, one of those ones that was nothing short of earth shattering for him. “You missed a bit.” She murmured, her tone sultry as her thumb wiped the syrup from his scruff.

He caught her by the wrist as she went to pull her hand away and sucked her thumb into his mouth without his eyes leaving hers. Her breath quickened as his tongue swirled over her thumb and the hint of maple syrup that coated it. The action was so erotic she could feel her pussy clench and throb for him.

He released her thumb, the slow action of him taking it out of his mouth making her a wet, quivering mess. “That’s mine.” He purred, gripping her chin gently. His kiss was electric, the sudden overwhelming need for him to fuck her surged up. “Finish your tea.” He breathed as he ghosted her lips, the knowing smirk tugging at his. He knew exactly what this did to her, the trembling mess in his lap confirmed it.

“I’m finished.” She managed to say as those lips continued to tease her. How could he make her come apart like this, she wondered?

He looked down at the half empty cup and grinned against her jaw. “You still have some left.” He murmured, his soft hum of contentment causing her to wilt into him as he found that one spot below her ear and sucked on it gently. His low chuckle made her blush. “Sit up and drink your tea. I haven’t teased you enough yet.” That tone made her pussy gush.

“I can’t function when you touch me like that.” She mumbled, shocked she could actually string words together to form a coherent sentence.

“I know.” He growled and savaged her mouth, the kiss rendering all thought in her head to cease. “Finish your tea.”

He watched her hand pick up the cup, the slight tremble of arousal still thrumming through her making it shake. Waiting for her to finish and set the cup down his finger circled her nipple, the torturous digit making her quiver. He sipped from his own cup as his thumb and finger pinched her hardened bud gently. With a soft gasp she leaned back into him.

“I have a need for you before we go for a walk.” His tone that low gravely growl she loved.

There was no rush to take her, he liked building her up to the point of madness. He sat there, hands endlessly moving, fingers erotically enticing. The way she came alive at his touch was enough to arouse him into a frenzy, those delicate sighs and moans tumbling from her lips in a beautiful symphony.

His touch whipped her body into a fever of need, she couldn’t have him touch her enough. Turning in his arms she kissed him, hot and hungry lips devouring his. She tugged at his sweats releasing his erection, his groan into her mouth as she palmed him making her smirk. She’d turned the tables on him as her hands cupped his head, that mouth on his, a hunger he knew well. Straddling him he felt her heat brush against his shaft.

“I need you.” Her voice was breathless, full of desire to have him inside her. “Please.”

He didn’t make her wait. His own need suddenly ravenous. Raking the robe from her shoulders he nipped her neck, a hand cupping a breast as she positioned his tip at her entrance. Frantic hands slipped under her robe and gripped her hips as he pulled her onto him burying his cock deep. He groaned into her neck, nipping and sucking gently.

“Fuck Sildie.” He murmured as she started to ride him, her lips ghosting his with a sly smile.

It was rough and fast, hands frantic in their search for purchase, for pleasure. The need to touch, to fuck. Her body shuddered as she took him deep, her not so quiet cry of ecstasy as he brushed against her secret places swallowed as he kissed her hard. Her orgasm crashed through her, no warning, no chance of holding it back. She dropped her hips onto him harder, the slight bounce bottoming him out and making her climax crest again.

She took him with her this time, the sheer euphoria engulfing them both. He held her to him tightly, panting, chests heaving. Her kiss was tender as her fingers caressed his jaw and the longer scruff he’d been growing out.

“I can’t get enough of you.” She murmured before kissing him, that mind blowing kiss that rocked him to the core.

“The feeling is very mutual love.” He kissed her tenderly, those ice blue eyes twinkling mischievously at him. Slipping her robe back over her shoulders he kissed her, slow and sensual, he loved the taste of her.

“Go get dressed.” She said as she climbed off him and took the dishes to the kitchen, the sashay of her hips making him groan. By the time she’d washed everything he had dressed for their walk.

“Your turn, I’ll make some lunch to take with us.” He said kissing her hair as an arm wrapped around her waist. “We can have a picnic.”

“I like the sound of that.” She turned in his arms, those soulful eyes different today. They were relaxed, happy, the sight made her smile. “I love you.” She said tenderly, it was still so new to her that it sometimes sounded hesitant. That smile she thought, that smile when she said that to him was all she needed.

“And I love you.” He rested his forehead against hers. “So much.” His lips brushed hers with tenderness, with love. “I’m still getting used to it all.” He smiled with a shy chuckle.

“Me too. It’s strange but comfortable.” She kissed him sweetly.

“I’m sure it’ll get easier, at least I hope it will.” His fingers raked through her hair gently before his mouth took hers. “Go get dressed before I have to strip off again and make you walk funny.”

Her chuckle made him grin, he loved seeing her relaxed. Mission accomplished for this weekend, he thought silently. He only hoped it was enough to get her through her birthday. He released his hold on her and watched her walk to the bedroom, the sway in those hips making his cock twitch.

With Sildie dressed, lunch and snacks packed, Gustaf helped her into a pair of snowshoes and handed her the poles. They set off on the marked hiking trail, through the grove of trees at the back of the cabin, and along the ridge of the hill, complete with a snow pack of about six feet. He glanced back every so often to see if she was ok and caught her staring at his ass, the wicked grin making him chuckle.

“Perv.” He scoffed and then laughed as the snowball hit him in the back.

“It’s such a sexy view and what’s a girl to do when you put it right there?” She scoffed dramatically, his laugh only widened her grin. “And those thighs.” She muttered to herself and groaned at the thought of her hands all over them.

Around half and hour later they crested the second ridge and the sight was incredible. The lake spread out like a carpet of crystal, the snow capped trees, and the looming mountain in the distance.

“Wow!” The sight took her breath away. “It’s stunning.”

“It’s a gorgeous view, even more so with you in it.” He leaned over to kiss her temple. “Happy birthday.” He whispered softly. His arm came around her bundling her in close so she couldn’t pull away. “I’ll give you the world Sildie.” He kissed her brow and held her. “One breathtaking view at a time.”

She couldn’t help the tears, between his words and their significance she had no hope. He took off his glove and wiped her tears away before kissing her sweetly.

“Thank you.” She sniffed. “It’s stunning.” She chuckled and looked around wiping more tears away. He knew her so well. She wasn’t one for fancy, expensive gifts. Anyone could buy her something. He’d thought about what this place would mean to her, the connection they would have here, the peace it would bring her. Space, freedom, peace, time to start healing.

“Go explore, take some photos and I’ll setup our picnic.” He kissed her, that sweet kiss that spoke of the deep love he had for her before pulling away and walking further along the ridge.

She watched him go, the smile spreading across her face. She was so damn happy with him. Sure they’d had disagreements, but at the core of it he was her missing piece. Someone she could depend on, share the ups and downs, love her for who she was, grief and all. Taking out her phone she snapped a few photos and sent them to the kids. They would love it up here.

Her thoughts switched to what she had yet to ask him as she wandered the deep snow, soaking in everything Mother Nature was willing to give her. Something more to add to his plate, she just hoped it wasn’t too much. She was concerned, as she’d already asked so much from him this weekend, but she had to know, she had to be sure. And more importantly, she had to protect the kids.

He gave her some space as he set up their picnic, he knew this would floor her, knew it would be emotional. Watching her closely he could see the wheels turning in that wicked smart brain of hers, chewing over everything. The woman never stopped.

The slight tug at her hand snapped her out of her thoughts and his gaze was one of concern.

“You ok?” His light peck to her temple making her smile.

“Yeah, sorry, just thinking.” She squeezed his hand and let it drop.

“You’re always thinking.” His chuckle made her smile, he had a point. “Come sit with me.” He took her hand and led her to where he’d setup their picnic. “At least it’s warmer out today.”

“No snow today?”

“There’s more in the forecast this afternoon. We’ll have to eat and get back before it settles in.” He pointed off to the east where the dark grey clouds were lurking in the distance.

She sat and he knew something was bothering her. Body language was the first tell, the change in her emotions the second. It was more than just the happy birthday. He sat behind her and pulled her close, the need to feel her with him, grounding him.

“What is it love?” He asked as he took his glove off to pick up his sandwich.

“What’s what?”

He chuckled, she was in her own mind again. “What are you chewing over?”

“It’s nothing, and I’ve already asked enough from you this weekend.” She said softly, her gaze fixed on the spectacular view in front of them.

“Sildie.” He breathed out. She could be frustrating as hell sometimes, he thought.

“No, it’s fine, really.” She picked at her sandwich not really hungry with the anxiety swimming in her gut.

“Ask me, please.” He wasn’t sure what this was about but it was important to her. “Please love.” He added when she fell silent. He kissed her jaw and waited. Her eyes found his and he saw the apprehension.

“Just Tuesday with the car got me thinking.” She started and he squeezed her gently. How did she even ask him this? “It hammered a point home that I should have thought about earlier and now realize I should do something about it as soon as possible.” She stared into the distance and let the tears come, she couldn’t hold them back anyway. “Enduring Power of Attorney.” She said softly. “If something happens to me the kids have no one.” She blurted out, the sob catching her by surprise as her breath whooshed out.

“They have me, love.” He said gently. “They’ll always have me.” He kissed her neck and held her tighter not really sure of where this was going.

“Not legally.” Her huff more at her tears than at him as she tried to scrub them away, irritated that she’d let them fall in the first place. “If something happens to me they go to the next living relative which would be Dana’s family, or if they don’t want them, foster care. There’s no one left on my side to take them.” He turned her so he could see her face. “And I can’t let the kids go to her family, it would destroy them, but I don’t have any other choice unless... unless they come to you.” She was almost blubbering.

He could see the anguish on her face, feel it in her body, the uncertainty of their future should something happen to her. “You want me to take them?” His heart lurched into his throat, the food in his belly suddenly threatening to expel itself rather forcefully. Was he up for that? Could he take them on if something happened to her? Fuck, there’s a thought he didn’t ever want to think about.

“I need to ask you if you’re ok with it. It’s ok if you’re not, I’ll understand and make other arrangements, but I need them to have somewhere to go if someth...” He kissed her tenderly, anything to stop her working herself up any further, anything to silence the grief in her voice.

The thought of raising four kids on his own was terrifying. Without Sildie, could he do it? Could he be the person they needed without her there to help, to support him? The worst case scenarios went through his head at lightning speed, Dana’s family, or foster care. The thought of them being separated made him feel sick inside, the thought of them in the hands of addicts made him almost vomit. The kids didn’t deserve either of those options. Was a former addict any better he wondered? There was only one possible answer.

“Look at me.” He said gently and hooked a finger under her chin and waited for her red rimmed eyes to find his. “Yes.” Her sob strangled her at his answer. “I’ll always be there for you and for the kids Sildie, you know that.”

“But this is so much more.” She choked. “And I feel so fucking guilty for asking you. Having no other option but to ask you.”

“It is more, but my answer is still yes.” He wiped her tears away and kissed her gently. “It’ll always be yes. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for you love, do for them.”

“I know you would keep them safe, and they love you.” She sniffed. “I just hate having to ask you for all of this. It’s too much and I shouldn’t have brought it up. I’m sorry forget it.” She said quickly, feeling stupid for piling more of her crap on the man. He kissed her sweetly.

“I won’t forget it.” He said gently. “And it’s not too much, it’s life Sildie. You’re trying to keep the kids safe, ensure they have a future if something happens to you. Which is your job, that’s what a guardian is. It’s your job to cover all your bases to keep them safe. You can ask me for anything love.” He tucked the wisp of hair back under the edge of her beanie and stroked his knuckles over her tear stained cheeks. “I’ll help, any way I can.” Leaning his head against hers she let out a shuddered breath and he felt her relax.

“It’s so much more though.” She swiped the tears away. “After everything I’ve been through I know what you’d be faced with and I hate having to ask you to take it on, but I have no one else I trust.” His arms wrapped around her tightly and pulled her to him. She was wrecked, she’d fallen apart on him, again. One day she hoped she’d never have to feel this emotional stress. When, she thought, when would this get easier?

“It’ll be fine love, together, you and me.” He murmured and just held her.

“I’m sorry. I sort of ruined our picnic.” She huffed, her voice raw.

“Nothing’s ruined. Nothing could ever be ruined when you’re here with me.” He kissed her head and picked up the thermos of tea, pouring a cup for her she stayed curled into him.

“I just want this to stop hurting so much.” Her voice barely a whisper.

“It will love, give it time. Here.” He said handing her the tea, kissing her temple and lingering, breathing her in. “Drink and relax. Together love.”

“You’ll let me know if it’s too much?” She asked, her bottom lip still trembling.

“I will, but you should know by now I’ll never abandon the kids, Sildie. Ever.” Sure it had been a shock when she’d asked, the thought hadn’t even crossed his mind, but he’d do anything for her, and move more than mountains for those kids. He’d fight for them as vehemently as she would. There would be more to figure out once they got home but he’d do whatever he had to to keep them safe.

He let her have the quiet, the tranquility this moment in time could give her. He fed her small bits of food knowing she rarely ate when she was upset, her appetite long gone. She finished her tea and curled up with him, her gaze locked on the vastness of the view. Peace and silence greeted her.

“You know how I said yesterday that I’d like to come here every year?” She said softly, changing the subject to try not to slip into the darkness that wanted to consume her.

“Mmmmm.” His tone warmed her heart. A tone that conveyed more love than he probably realized.

“I’d like it to be this cabin. Just us, the start of our memories, building happy ones.” She said quietly.

“I think we can arrange that.” He kissed her brow just below the beanie.

“I love you Gustaf.” She said tenderly. “I want this to be the place we escape to, to reconnect when we’re both losing touch with each other or life in general. When we’re stressed, when we just need to hit the pause button on life, when the world gets too loud.”

“Sildie I’ll buy you the damn place if that’s what you need.” His tone serious, there was nothing that he wouldn’t do to see her happy.

“No.” She chuckled. “I just want to be able to come here and remember that this was where you said me you love me.” She looked at him and huffed as her blush started to rise. “And I’m being a stupid sentimental fool. You think it’s silly.”

“Not silly.” He said gently. “Your heart and soul is so akin to mine it’s astounding. I’d like this place to be our tradition. Every year, the weekend before your birthday.” He kissed her, the slow sweetness that soothed and warmed her soul. “I love you.” He murmured, his lips brushing her jaw.

“I love you too.”

They sat and ate the chocolate chip cookies he’d stashed away, her appetite slowly coming back, watching the sky change from brilliant blue to stormy grey.

“We’d better head back. Snow’s coming.” He said pointing off to the east, the haze of white heading toward them with the dark grey behind it looked rather threatening. “We can soak in the hot tub, in the snow.” He chuckled as she looked at him like he was crazy.

“I’ve never done that before.” She said honestly.

“Really?” He was a little shocked since she’d grown up here.

“I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life.” She scoffed.

“Yes you have, we’re about to change that.” He grinned. “You’ll love it.”

They packed up the picnic, bellies full, containers empty. Pulling her to her feet Gustaf held her against him and kissed her, that slow seduction and a promise of more.

“Mmmm you taste good.” He growled and she felt her belly tighten.

“One more photo before we go, to send to the kids.” She said softly, her eyes brighter now than earlier. They huddled together with the view in the background and she snapped the photo. Gustaf had his on video and insisted on nuzzling his cold nose into her neck causing her to laugh. He never got tired of hearing that carefree laugh, genuine happiness.

“Why do you always put it on video?” She asked as she put her pack on.

“Because I love hearing you laugh, and when I’m away I can’t snuggle you or hear that laugh. It reminds me what you smell like, what you sound like, what you feel like.” His answer was so simple it knocked the wind out of her. “I’m slowly getting a collection so I’ll have some when I’m away next.” Which was going to absolutely kill him, twelve weeks was a long ass time.

“My sweet man.” She said softly and kissed him.

“Only you love.” He said and pocketed his phone. “I played the one from the day in the snow on an endless loop when I was away for those six long weeks. It kept me sane. I’m going to need more with this next one.”

His sentiment floored her. Videos of her, the kids, him and Lily on their birthday. She had a sudden idea and needed to talk to Brendan who was the computer whiz. It was the perfect Christmas present.

With the storm slowly marching toward them they headed back the way they came, the sky darkening as they went. By the time the cabin was in sight the snow was starting to fall.

“I think we left just in time.” She said kicking her boots off and tapping them together to dislodge the snow before sitting them just inside the door.

“We did, another twenty minutes and we might not have been able to find our way back.”

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