#I dont believe this is 'good advice' or anything. More like.. me rambling forever! Tumblr posts

[mod-jazzy]

Probably the dumbest munday question across the land but do you have any advice for creating good oc reference sheets? In terms of stuff like canvas size, % of space given to the character and colors, how much information to include, and background colors.

It's definitely an ocd thing for me but I have a hard time making refs that are both informative and look nice without being too cluttered or bare. Your oc refs are always very helpful so aajhbdsjkbhsd

(( WEEPS THANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS?? I didn't answer it before because I.. forgot!

BUT I WILL TRY TO ANSWER TO THE BEST OF MY ABILITY...

DISCLAIMER SONG This is how I personally make my OC references, based on tips I've been given over the years and what I find easiest for me! I make my OC references for ME and based on my own preferences, so they are heavily catered to what I want in a reference image. Also because I will forget how to draw my own character if I do not have it. That's not a joke either I am just that bad at what I do lmaO

Behold my totally professional labelled example of a basic reference, using... Basic!

THE ANATOMY OF A JAZZY REFERENCE

This is basically how I try to make my references look most of the time! Simple but it works for me!

I ELABORATE MORE BELOW THE CUT I just talk so much I am sorry

Number 1: A basic pose

For reference images, I always use a bare basic pose. I do not try to do anything dynamic or special. It is a reference image, it is meant to show the design clean and concise, not to impress anyone. I have a inside joke of "Stand straight, Hand Out" with myself because that is 99% of my reference images lmao The main image is always unshaded. I do not shade my refs. At most I will add effects to the eyes, but that is it. I avoid shading refs because a ref should be the basic plain colors. I know some shade but still add plain color dots.. but a lot of the time with complicated OC designs, adding shading can confuse some people. I know I certainly get confused! So I avoid it at all costs

Number 2: LARGE color dots

Having color dots / some form of palette is obviously extremely important... so people can like.. color pick. BUT I make them LARGE. Taking up around half the ref sometimes. I do this because if you make the dots too small, they will be JPEG crunched when shared across platforms. It creates a pixel crunch that makes the actual color harder to color pick. (Unless you are linking from a HD source, but also depends what device you are using. My phone will crunch images even if they are HD because.. It's a phone.) I have colored so many people's OCs wrong due to their color dots being itty bitty and forced under image crunch. I've had my own OCs colored wrong because of my refs having small color dots that were put in the ImageCrusher5000. Having large color dots doesn't entirely stop image crunch, but it makes it less egregious.

Number 3: Special eye and mouth color dots

Kind of lumped in with Number 2 but important for me to make separate from the normal color dots. For eyes, as I mentioned I sometimes add effects to character eyes in the ref image. So having a blank plain colors is needed for better color picking. It's a apology from me for adding effects from the reference image lmao

For the mouth, I just add that merely because I have a lot of OCs with odd colored mouths! I love making silly mouth colors!! Having a OC whose tongue is just blue for some reason! It's silly and it's fun! So I add a special "mouth" color dot to the image to show it! I also sometimes use it to show the OCs teeth style. (shark teeth.. flat teeth.. etc etc. It's not ALWAYS the case but still!)

Number 4: Bland/Themed color background

For backgrounds on reference images... I try to keep them plain! Because the focus should be on the character, not the background.

So I try to keep the backgrounds simple. I generally try to choose colors that are dull to draw more focus to the actual character. Nothing eye searing or painful, but I also don't want the background to "blend" with the character colors itself. Especially when it comes to color dots, if the background matches or blends too well with the color dots, they can be hard to see! Just easier to pick a dull, yet mildly ""clashing"" (lack of better word) color to make sure the character and the color dots are seen as best as possible. I will sometimes "Theme" a reference based on what blog/story they are from! All Ask-Eden refs are purple with a dark purple stripe! All Ask-Scrafty refs are this weird dull red color with stripes! Etc etc It's not needed for me to do that, I just do it because it's fun for me to have all the references for a specific story ""fit together"" if that makes sense!

Number 5: Name and Pronouns

Self explanatory really. I wouldn't say a ref NEEDS this information per say, depends on the context. But I generally add this information that way when I share the OC to others, the information is there and easy. That way nobody gotta question who they are or what pronouns they use, it's just already right there. Also avoids having your character misgendered and such. Which may not manner to some, but it does to me so I add it!

Number 6: Speech Colors

This only applies to my ask blog characters I do this because I have a lot of characters... who talk a lot! Often at the same time! So having each fella have their own special colors for their speech bubble, helps show who is talking easier. This is my own personal thing however, I know some people literally do not care but I like it.. so I do it! I add the color text there so that way the viewer knows "Black bubble with green text is This Character talking" and that way I myself, can color pick the bubble so the text remains consistent. Although sometimes depending on the lighting, I may tweak the speech colors a bit.... But they generally "stay true". I would rather tweak a speech bubble color slightly in a image than have it be unreadable, yknow?

Number 7: Important Design Tidbits

These are the tiny bits of text I'll add to a reference, ranges from basic info about the character to design info! I try to limit the amount of information on the ref to what is needed or what I deem is "important to know when drawing this character"

Stuff like this:

I try to keep the information short as I can to avoid cluttering text on the image. I also put things that someone might miss or "get wrong" when drawing the character or just mini text blurbs to describe what is happening in the image. If it is important to the characters design, I add it to the ref.

I cannot complain that someone "drew my OC wrong" if the reference image didn't clarify that aspect clearly. It never hurts to clarify even if it seems obvious

Also it is for me to remember! That way I'm not like "wait why does this guy have these weird spots again?" Because again I just.. I just forget constantly.

Number 8: Bonus Info

THIS can range honestly.

In the example doodle I showed a close up of a paw, to show paw pad details/colors

but this can range from showing another hairstyle.. some extra expressions... Or sometimes, if the character wears clothing, I'll include a another image of the character without the clothes on I do this to show body patterns or body types better. As clothing can hide/restrict what is shown. It's useful for me to have, that way when I draw the character again in a different outfit, I can have accurate info on how their body patterns work. Instead of just winging it every time. I try to not include too much of this stuff in the "main reference" I know some people do but I try to keep my refs as minimal as I can

IF A DESIGN WAS MADE BY ANOTHER PERSON, I will often give text credit within the reference image! I just want peeps to receive as much credit as they can for something they designed. So if it is already in the reference image, it just makes it easier! I usually do it in small text somewhere to the side.

I AM SO SORRY I TALKED FOR SO LONG ABOUT THIS

HONESTLY I just try to keep my reference's as simple as possible. Simple and Clean. I used to make REALLY cluttered references in the past and honestly I don't think my character's need a wall of text on a ref page I just draw a guy standing there with his hand out and slap on some color dots and call it a day.

I can't say I have anything on canvas size? Canvas size is something I literally never pay attention to. I'm a fake artist I know I just do not look at those numbers So my canvas sizes range a lot of the time I think. I only just recently started using the same canvas size for Ask Blog Posts, but that's only because I got really lazy and just copy and pasted some panels

ANYWAYS there is a horrifying insight on how I make reference images!! Could I have simplified this? Yeahg,.

but yeah again thANK YOU FOR THE KIND WORDS ANON!!! So sorry for yapping at you for so long !!!!!

[arf2004]

i think that its a good thing that ppl have so much information at their disposal in regards to learnings different artforms or crafts easily and for free. which is an overwhelmingly good thing. but my own personal relationship with art is so frustrated and stagnant when i try to DO anything in particular. i believe im good writer, photographer, and visual artist (in varying degrees probably lol) but i did not do anything intentional to better myself with any of those art forms. i mostly just created the art i felt necessary at the time in my life. i exist entirely under the need to create, so theres not really any period of time i go without feeling the itch to Make Something. it is what makes me move, what makes me get up and exist in the world in the first place. so i dont really WANT to improve necessarily. not on purpose i guess. i just want my art to exist and not be tied to the value it holds or need to be better. i kind of just want to make art that appears to me lol. this isnt like a real point im making, more of a ramble. i see a lot of tutorials and stuff ive often been sent them by people and just not watched them because i dont have any want or need to actively work on something that i want to evolve with me as time goes on. i learn things for sure, but more often than not its just practical things i come about on my own or its a clip i didnt expect to see in passing about something regarding art that really impacts the way i create for a while. i just sometimes wish that if you said publicly "i am not interested in improving my art" it wasnt brought with backlash or the insinuation that youve morally failed for simply wanting to create without any one intention. i havent experienced this as much recently because i dont use social media as obsessively as i used to, but when i see art advice i am just reminded that it is all subjective and all someone can tell you is what they know (which is good!! aggregate information from artists u admire if u want to embody their values!!! thats awesome) so were all just mostly making up bullshit as we go along forever. in life

[ultraintrovertedgryffindor]

Yes ! Can you maybe do an imagine where the reader breaks up with Will because they dont think they’re good enough for him ?? But with a happy ending where they get back together because he really wants to be with them

Of course, sweet Anon!😊 Man, y'all really love angst lmao In retrospect, this might be a bit too angsty😬I blame Bo Burnham's Inside

This imagine is going to be really depressing, like a lot. There will be mentions of attempted suicide and self harm so, SEVERE TRIGGER WARNING.

~~~~~~~~~~

It had been over a year since you broke up with Will.

You'd never felt more depressed in your life, but you thought it was the right decision at the time. What bullshit that turned out to be...

Your crippling insecurity forced your mind to think you didn't deserve to have someone as amazing as Will, he was so thoughtful and you were so, well, so dependent.

You weren't in the best stage of your life when you met Will, you were in a really dark place and you had even more trouble getting out of it. You haven't really made much progress since then, but you tried.

You just wanted to feel better for once. Every day, you just felt like you were drowning and taking Will with you.

He was your rock, and he made sure that he was right beside you every time you felt bad. Of course, being an actor, he had to go away sometimes and you always told him that you'd be fine. You weren't, of course, but you were always so happy for him whenever he'd book a film or TV show because it made him happy.

There were days you just felt numb, mostly when Will wasn't with you. Those days you'd just lay in your bed, sob uncontrollably until the exhaustion would put you to sleep.

Will felt helpless, and you could always see it on his face. He was worried about you, he wanted to help you, but it wasn't something that he could change or do anything about. Him worrying about you day and night made you feel even worse, that was not what you wanted for him. He deserved to be with something that lifted him up and encouraged him, not someone who's depressing all the time and unintentionally bringing him down with them. No...you didn't want that for him at all.

It was inevitable, but it didn't make it any easier to break up with him.

Will's heartbroken face would forever be engrained in your mind, but you kept telling yourself it was in his best interest.

You cried the hardest you ever cried in your entire life. You loved him so much, you didn't want to let him go, but you couldn't let your toxicity ruin his life. And you honestly thought that it would get better in time, but it only made your mental state deteriorate ever more.

One night, when the pain got too hard to handle, you took and broke your shaving razors, taking out the blades.

In hindsight, you really wished you hadn't, you felt embarrassed about it for the longest time. But trying to look on the bright side, it did force you to finally get the professional help you needed. Therapy, medication, the whole nine yards. You kicked yourself for not getting yourself help sooner, because you felt better now that you were going to therapy.

You still struggled a lot, but you knew once you found the right medication, it would become more bearable, and it did eventually. It took a lot of hard work.

You thought about Will a lot, what he was up to, if he found someone else that he loved. The thought was painful, but all you wanted for him was to find true happiness.

One day, you decided to go out to a coffee shop one morning, as opposed to just Postmateing yourself like you normally did. Your therapist did say you needed to get out more, so you took their advice.

You walked through town, a simple little coffee shop catching your eye. The name sounded familiar to you, though you couldn't quite place why. You didn't think you'd been to this place before, you usually made your own coffee, but you wanted to give it a try.

The light ring of a bell filled your ears as you opened the front door. It was a really cold morning, so the warm heat hitting your skin and inhaling the strong smell of coffee and freshly made bakeries put a small smile on your face.

You were thankful that there wasn't a line, possibly to early in the morning, maybe you got there before the usual early birds. Though looking around, it was a small place, only a few book readers scattered amongst the small tables that were set up opposite of the counter where you ordered.

While waiting for your coffee, a wall full of art caught your eye. You walked closer to look at all the pieces, all of them painted by customers. Hmm, cute...

You didn't really acknowledge the bell ringing once more, signaling an arrival of another customer, to focused on the pretty art.

"Hey!" You heard one of the workers say cheerfully, probably addressing the new customer. "Your usual, Will?"

Your smile dropped. Ha, what are the odds, right?

"Yep, of course. Thank you."

Then, your heart dropped.

You recognized that voice anywhere. Now you knew why this shop sounded so familiar, it was Will's favorite place to get coffee, he had mentioned it to you before. Of course, of all the coffee places in town, you had to pick this one.

You slowly turned around, your heart beating out of your chest and almost coming to a complete stop once you laid eyes on his face. That face you always thought about, even in your dreams. "Wi-"

"Y/n!" You cringed as the coffee shop worker called out your name, telling you that your coffee was ready.

Will immediately snapped his gaze over to you, clearly having trouble believing it was actually you. You stood there awkwardly, having a hard time reading his expression. Was he mad? Sad? Happy?

"Y/n." Will almost whispered, taking a couple steps closer to you.

Will looked the same, just as handsome as when you last saw him. His eyes were locked onto you, looking you over in awe. He thought you looked so much healthier now, but always thinking that you look stunning, no matter the circumstance.

"How...how are you?" Will started, a small smile finally stretching across his lips. "You look," He chuckled softly, "amazing."

You looked down slightly when your face started to burn, all of your blood seeming to rush right to your face from one simple compliment. "Thank you." You said sheepishly. "You look amazing too, as usual."

Now it was Will's turn to blush, his easy to spot with his fair complexion. "Uh, do you wanna, maybe, sit down? Or we could go somewhere else, if you want to, that is. Don't feel pressured or anything." He rambled.

You smiled. "Yeah, sure." You grabbed your coffee and joined Will at the table he chose to sit at. "So, uh, how've you been?" You asked, taking tiny sips of your hot drink.

"Good, good. I'll be filming a new project soon, so that'll be fun." Will paused for a beat, then sighing despairingly . "I've been, uh, thinking about you. A lot."

"I've been thinking about you too."

"I kinda lied. I am filming something soon but, I haven't been good. Ever since we broke up, life just...kind of feels a bit grey now."

You frowned, biting your lip hard to keep tears from welling up in your eyes. "I'm sorry, Will..." You whispered. "I thought you'd be better off without me to drag you down. I was such a burden."

Will furrowed his brows, shaking his head with a frown. "No. You weren't dragging me down, I loved you, Y/n. I would've done anything for you. I know that you struggled a lot with your mental health, but I wanted to be with you through all that. I never thought you were a burden, not for a second."

"I just," You wiped an unwanted tear from your cheek, "I don't think I was ready to be in a relationship then. I've been working really hard on my health and now that I have a clearer mindset, I think it was probably for the best that I broke up with you when I did."

Will took a deep breath. "I respect that. I do. I'm happy for you, that you're better now. I don't want this to come off as selfish...but I still love you. I want to be with you. But I understand if you can't be in a relationship right now. I'll wait for you, as long as it takes if you'll let me."

You blushed furiously once more. At this point, you practically wanted to throw yourself at this man. You didn't care if it didn't work out again, you still wanted him, badly.

"I still love you too, Will. Always have."

Will smiled softly. "I don't want you to be my partner again if you're not ready."

"I don't know if I am, I'm still working on myself, but...goddamn I wanna kiss you so bad right now." You said, eliciting another blush and a shy laugh from Will.

You answered him by leaning forward slowly, rubbing your nose against his before gent as you smiled widely at him, leaning closer. You almost shivered as his cold hands reached over to delicately trace your jawline, the gesture automatically putting you in a sort of trance where you could only look into his eyes.

"I really want to kiss you." Will giggled, fully cupping the side of your jaw. "May I?"

You answered him by leaning forward slowly, rubbing your nose against his before gently connecting your lips with his.

Over a year of wanting and missing Will, you ignored your dislike of PDA, you've needed this for so long. The spark you always felt when you kissed him was still there, still giving you goosebumps along with an intense desire you definitely couldn't act on in this coffee shop.

Will pulled away, only to rest his forehead against yours, his eyes closed just relishing in the moment. "I've missed you so much."

"Me too." You chuckled breathlessly.

"I don't want you to feel like you have to rush back into things. We can take it slow if that's what you want."

This man was always such a gentleman, but it just made you even more eager to take him home with you.

"Right now, I don't think I'm capable of taking things slow." You said, a almost seductive tone to your voice.

Will smiled playfully, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "That's absolutely not taking things slow."

"How about we go to my place? Make up all the lost time?" You asked not as confidently, the feeling of rejection making you nervous, but Will smiled gently, taking a hold of your hand and kissing you once more.

"Lead the way."

~~~~~~~~~~

Hope you enjoyed! Hopefully it wasn't too depressing and dark in the beginning.

[bi-dazai]

okay while we're on the subject of eating healthy and exercising, I want to vent/talk about weight loss. This is gonna be a rly controversial, very personal and extremely long post but I do want to make a point. I'm not going to discuss every fucking nuance of haes or my EDs. But for clarity, know that my eds are complicated and were mostly osfeds - minor anorexia osfed in high school and bed osfed when I was 18-19. after i realised how fat i was the minor anorexia came back and over the pandemic it became full scale anorexia nervosa.

I'm 5'3. The healthy weight range I should be in is in the high 40s-low 50s. I went up to TWICE that by the time I was just nineteen years old. It wasn't fun being fat. I consumed as much fat acceptance, fat activism content as I could, I pretended I was confident and happy even when I was fat. But I wasn't. Because people don't just get obese accidentally. A little overweight, yes. But obese? No. You get obese from depression, from giving up. You don't want to move so you don't. You're sad all the time, and the body positivity circles say eat comfort food, whatever and as much as it makes you feel better!! Do you know what that is? That's encouragement of BED. Do not say that. Because I did that. I ate sugar and junk food, I was still depressed.

I was reading these posts that were claiming fat people shouldn't be weighed at the doctor, that your weight shouldn't count, that BMI is incorrect and doesn't matter, etc etc. There were posts saying that they got "perfect bloodwork" (what even is that? I knew that was wrong, I've had chronic iron deficiency for a decade!) even though they were fat, so they had to be healthy, right? I got shown pictures of obese ballerinas and obese weightlifters blah blah blah. And I grew and grew, and I got to almost 85kg on the fast track to 100kg before reality smacked me in the face and I realised I was shortening my lifespan by decades.

Here's what it was like being obese!

- joint pain, constantly

- could barely walk anywhere without feeling out of breath

- couldn't find any fashionable, good quality clothes (plus size stores either carry unfashionable clothing, or fashionable but cheap quality clothing. I don't like to waste money on cheap clothes)

- more acne than I'd had in years

- oily skin

- more difficulty feeling "full"

- JOINT FUCKING PAIN

- rashes from skin rubbing against skin!

- even larger chest, making me MORE dysphoric

- back pain!!

- snoring - this is not just embarrassing. This is potentially deadly.

- DYSPHORIA

- KNEES. JOINT PAIN.

- DYSPHORIA

this was just things I felt physically, noticeably! The things that my fat was doing on the inside was even worse. Fat isn't just this layer of packing peanuts that appears on top of you. It coats your organs. It gets everywhere. It makes your entire body run worse.

Fat also makes it much more likely for you to not just GET cancer, but it it also makes it harder to FIGHT cancer. Being obese makes almost every single goddamn sickness on the planet worse because when you have THAT MUCH fat tissue the hormones and shit it secretes fucks EVERYTHING up.

Yes there are obese bodybuilders. Yes there are obese ballerinas. Let's talk about those two.

There are plenty of drs and dieticians who have pointed out the obvious - if an obese person was really, actually eating healthily and exercising every day, they would not stay obese forever. Its not magic, it's thermodynamics. CICO done right works for everyone. If you are eating healthy, appropriate portions for weight loss at your TDEE and exercising it would literally be IMPOSSIBLE for you not to lose weight!! Even more the heavier you are because when you exercise you carry around a lot more weight.

Obese weightlifters are still obese. They are not proof you can be obese and healthy. They are still going to die younger if they do not lose weight.

Let's talk about fat ballerinas. The only ones I've seen are trainee ballerinas, not professional ones. And their performance looks impressive at first, until you look closer. You notice their balance is never quite perfect, their control can be amazing and the best ever but they'll still be off. Why? Because fat moves around with your movement, and it displaces your balance and your line of movement. It's simply not possible to do something like ballet dancing as a fat person without risking major injury as well. En pointe is already stupid dangerous for the skinniest ballerina. Going en pointe at anything above 60kg is going to get progressively suckier the heavier you go. And god help your ankles because falling down will always end in a major injury.

I'm so fucking done with "fat acceptance". I'm tired of "body positivity" being a movement about obese middle-upper class white women and not about scars and disabilities etc like it was focused on in the start. I have no problems with Health at Every Size - every person should feel happy to workout, to eat healthy. I have no problem raising issue with people bullying others for their weight as well. That's wrong. But pretending that it's Healthy at Every Size is a fucking lie, and it's one that could've sentenced me to an early death. Healthy at Every Size said I was condemned to joint pain and oily skin and depression and exhaustion for the rest of my life based on cherrypicked sentences from studies that didn't agree with them. That "95% of diets fail" sentence in particular drives me up the wall. You don't need a diet to lose weight, you need healthy CICO, you need to eat below your TDEE, you need to eat healthy, and you need to exercise. All you have to do at first is go on a 10-20 minute walk, whatever pace you like, a few times a week.

You can BE fit, you CAN lose weight! You are not sentenced to having joint pain and an increased risk for cancer and a less effective COVID vaccine for life. You can change your body in incredibly ways. You have no idea what you are capable of.

There's this myth that weight loss takes keto and shakes and diet pills and crash diets etc. It doesn't. All it is is making sure you eat less than your TDEE, eating HEALTHY calories, and getting your heartrate up by exercising at least 175 minutes a week.

The human body is not meant to be obese. There's no such thing as a set point weight. There's CICO, there's nutrition, there's making sure your muscles dont atrophy. Weight loss and fitness isn't some magic thing that youre just born able to do. I was lazy throughout my entire teens. I thought fitness was something the popular girls did. It's not. It's for everyone. and everyone, especially in places with an obesity epidemic such as the US, UK, and Australia, should make use of it. It's a good thing. Walking is one of the best things you can do for your body, and it's incredibly rewarding in every way. Eating healthy and not eating until you feel like you're going to burst is rewarding in every way. And it's not like you can't ever have junk food again, you just have to limit it to a treat, a once or twice per week thing. And honestly, it makes it much more enjoyable that way.

Now I want to talk a little about my anorexia. My weight loss journey came to anorexia. This is because it was an eating disorder I'd had for a long time. I did not see a trainer or dietician, and I consciously decided to push myself too far. I consciously decide to eat less and exercise more when I am starving. This is not something that just happens because someone is eating at 1200cals. It happens because you have an eating disorder which you are born with. Saying people who eat 1200cals of healthy food a day and exercise right are "anorexic" is so fucking insulting to everyone involved. It's ableist and ignorant. 1200cals is also a pretty generous amount for anorexic ppl to eat. That's close to a binge in ED standards, so that should give you a reference for how offbase saying 1200cals is "anorexic" is.

My anorexia is healthy habits pushed into eating disorder territory. I eat healthy, yes, but I don't eat enough. I exercise, yes, but I often push myself too far when I'm already lacking energy. The advice I give people for health is correct, and I'm never going to go around saying "eat less than 1200cals" as weightloss advice. Eat less, sure, but there's a limit. Calorie counting is a good thing to do, tracking your macros and nutrients is good. But I do it too much.

I know what's healthy, a lot of ppl with restrictive and purgative EDs do. People with EDs can give some awesome health advice, we just can't follow it because we have a mental disorder. Believe it or not people with EDs discussing their EDs are not "pro-ana", pointing out that anorexia and people with anorexia are real and not some boogeyman you use to justify not losing weight and eating healthy is not pro-ana. Anorexia existing is not pro-ana and anorexics being anorexic has nothing to do with fatphobia.

this post is a rambling mess but i rly had to get some stuff clear on how I feel abt this stuff because it's getting concerning how much unhealthy shit, and then straight up ableist shit, that the fat acceptance crowd spews out.

A little exercise won't kill you, eating healthy won't kill you. You are not sentenced to ugly plus size fashion and joint pain and being out of breath for the rest of your life. Leave the Healthy at Every Size death cult and join the Health at Every Size movement. Let the doctor take your weight (it IS medically necessary). acknowledge that you are obese and it is affecting your health. It's scary but it can be the start of a new, healthy beginning. It was for me.

Losing 15kg has been the best thing in my life. Sure, the anorexia is there enjoying it for one reason. But the reason I truly enjoy it is because I've discovered what a healthier body feels like. I've discovered the joys of exercise, I've discovered the joys of eating healthy. I can fit nice clothes now. And I'm still overweight! I'm 66kg, that's 4kg away from the barest minimum acceptable healthy bmi. But I feel so so much better. I look better. I have a jawline! Good skin! Energy! It didn't fix me but it sure made me a hell of a lot better.

Please please try and eat healthy, eat an appropriate amount, go for walks. It's so so good, and if you do it right you WILL lose weight. You'll live past 50. You'll get to explore the world in a way you couldn't when going up stairs had you out of breath. You'll fit into that nice skirt you've been looking at. Your skin will clear up. You'll have energy and your mental health will improve.

It's so so fucking worth it to put effort into your health, like I cannot emphasise this enough. Please do it, I wish I could tell myself this when I was binging on junk because the FA crowd told me it was valid to comfort eat until I hurt.

[eevee-eclair]

Smitten Like a Kitten

Written by EeveeEclair

TW: fluff, crying, (tell me if I missed one!)

Random side note: This was made possible thanks to @does-this-look-logicality-to-you’s Animal Shelter AU! Thank you!

>~~~~~<

About ten years ago when Patton and Logan were still in college, Logan told Patton about his soft spot for animals. Patton was shocked the ‘emotionless’ man (or so everyone called him) loved something as much as him. And animals no less!

“It’s just… they tend to follow me everywhere and I feel like they understand me somehow,” Logan said, looking a little sheepish. “I know it sounds illogical, but I think I want to open an animal shelter when I graduate.”

Patton gasped and squealed. “Can I help?!” He asked.

Logan looked at him for a second, then gave him one of his rare smiles. “Yeah! And we could help all kinds of animals!” He said.

Patton smiled and got comfortable at the desk he was sitting at, listening to Logan ramble about his dream shelter. He listened as Logan told him about a lamp room and how he would run the place, nodding every so often as giving his opinion here and there.

It was then he realized he might have a crush on Logan.

~~~

A few years after graduation, Logan and Patton bought what would soon be their dream animal shelter. They had asked some family for financial help, and asked their friends Virgil and Roman if they would want to work there.

“I can’t believe this is happening!” Patton squealed as he walked through the empty animal shelter. “Right, Logan?” He asked. He was met with silence, so he looked around for Logan. “Logan?” He called. It took a minute but he found Logan in the backyard where the dogs would be able to run around. Upon closer inspection, he saw his friend crying. 

Logan saw him approaching and wiped the tears away. “Hello, Patton. What do you need?” He asked, trying to hide the fact he was crying.

Patton wasn’t going to let him just forget it, though. “Why are you crying?” He asked, putting a hand on Logan’s back.

“It’s just… I never thought I would be living this dream,” he told him. He laughed a little. “It’s all thanks to you.”

Patton smiled and felt tears build up in his eyes too. “It was only because you told me it was your dream,” he said, hugging Logan.

They sat there, wrapped in each other’s arms crying happy tears for about an hour. It was sundown but the time they went back to their respective apartments.

~~~

Two months after they had bought the empty building, they had their first dog. After everyone saw how happy the dog became only a few weeks later, they got more and more animals and with it came more and more adoptions.

But every time someone came to adopt a pet, they asked how said pet became so happy so fast. Every time, they said the same thing, ‘you can thank Logan Barry’. Yet, every time, the adopter would take one look at the emotionless receptionist and laugh.

“You can’t be serious,” someone once said.

“Ma’am, I've never been more serious in my life. The animals love him,” Patton told her. 

As if on cue, a mother cat and her five kittens all jumped onto Logan’s workspace. His face immediately lit up with the biggest smile, making Patton melt. He watched as Logan put a kitten in his shirt pocket and two on his lap. Logan then set another on his head and the last one on his shoulder, leaving the mama cat, Sammy, kitten-less and given a well deserved break.

Sammy meowed at Logan before jumping off, leaving her kittens to snuggle with the kind man. “Bye Sammy,” Logan said, before turning back to work.

The lady stared at Logan in awe. She gave a small ‘oh’ before leaving with the bird she adopted. Patton smiled as she walked off, happy to have proved her wrong.

~~~

It didn’t take long for Patton and Logan to realize they would need a better way to get to work faster. Both their apartments were about an hour to thirty minutes from the shelter, so they had to get up extremely early. Not to mention the late hoodies they already worked.

“We can’t run on three hours of sleep forever, Lo,” Patton yawned.

“I know,” Logan said, rubbing his eyes. “But for both of us to move would be expensive. It would also take up a lot of time we don’t have to give.”

Patton taped his chin for a second, thinking of a solution. “We could move in together?” He suggested. “It would save us money, be more convenient, and we won’t have to waste a lot of time moving! We could even call Roman and Remus to help unpack!”

Logan nodded. “It would be beneficial for both of us,” he mused. “Okay, I like your idea. But we need to plan it out. We can’t be gone from the shelter for too long or Virgil will have a panic attack.”

Patton smiled. “Okay! I’ll start looking for houses nearby!” He said, opening his laptop to search. Logan smiled as he watched Patton search for houses. He wouldn’t admit it, but he was very excited about the idea of sharing a house with his best friend.

~~~

Patton watched with a small smile on his face as Logan walked around the shelter with at least four dogs trotting after him. He also noticed a black cat had fallen asleep on Logan's shoulders and a small bird was snoozing in his hair. Logan saw Patton watching and walked over to him, beaming.

“Ah, Patton! I’ve been looking for you,” he said.

“Oh? And what can I do for you?” Patton asked, smiling back.

“I’ve got a few more adoption papers for you!” Logan told him. “Two cats and one dog!”

Patton laughed at Logan’s enthusiasm. “Alright, let me see,” he said. Logan handed him the papers and he skimmed them quickly. “Alright! I’ll send Roman over for a house inspection tomorrow.”

Logan nodded and walked off, still smiling. Patton noticed that the amount of animals had increased in the few minutes he stood still, as he walked away.

~~~

Logan watched as Patton smiled when another animal was adopted. More specifically, how cute he looked smiling. Usually, he thought nothing of it, but today he just couldn’t shake how adorable Patton looked in the skirt he insisted on wearing even though Logan had told him it would get ruined (and at the end of the day, it was) and how well it worked with his wide smile.

Patton looked in Logan’s direction and his smile turned from customer service to one of his genuine smiles. The kind you can’t say no to.

Logan sat up a little straighter (read gayer) as Patton made his way over. 

“Hi, Lo! Did you need something?” He asked in his cheery tone.

“Oh no, I’m fine!” Logan said. “Just… umm… getting some work done! Yeah, that’s it!” He rushed in a panic.

“Okay, well I’m going to go get lunch! Roman brought sandwiches! Do you want anything?” 

Logan shook his head. “I brought my own lunch, thanks,” he told him, pointing to his lunchbox. Most days it held not only a tuna sandwich and an orange, but treats for the animals that sit around him.

“Okay! If you change your mind, let me know!” Patton smiled, walking off.

Logan waved goodbye before slumping in his chair letting out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. Sammy meowed in protest as he laid his head on her tail.

“Sorry, Sam,” he mumbled. “He’s just too cute!”

Sammy meowed in acknowledgement before tucking her tail in and laying back down.

“Did you just call Patton cute?”

Logan jumped at Virgil’s voice, startling Sammy again and the bird who decided Logan’s hair would make a good napping spot.

“Virgil!” He cried, adjusting his tie nervously. “Don’t sneak up on me like that!”

“Sorry,” Virgil shrugged. “But you’re avoiding my question. Did you just call Patton cute?”

Logan sighed and covered his face. “Yes.”

“Why?” Virgil asked. Then realization dawned on him. “Oh my god, you like Patton.”

Logan’s face turned red and he quickly shushed Virgil. “Don’t say it so loud!” He hissed.

Virgil laughed. “Everyone knows, L. It’s no secret. Well, except to Patton,” he said shrugging. “Poor dude is too innocent for his own good,” Virgil mused.

“Do you have any advice for me?” Logan pleaded, snapping Virgil from his thoughts.

Virgil nodded. “Yeah.”

Logan stared at him for a second. “Well? What is it?” He asked, growing impatient.

“You don’t know?” Virgil asked, shocked. When Logan shook his head no, Virgil groaned. “You’re hopeless.”

Logan began to panic. “What does that mean?!” He cried.

Virgil laughed. “No, dude, like, you’ve never asked out a crush before?”

Logan’s face turned a light shade of pink. “You’re suggesting I ask Patton out?” He whispered. Virgil nodded. “You’re insane!” He cried.

“Who is?” Patton asked.

Logan jumped. Again. “No one!” He exclaimed, adjusting his tie. “What can I help you with, Patton?” Logan asked. 

“Roman found a kitten hiding under a car at a car dealership and I was wondering if you could help us get it to eat?” Patton asked. Logan saw Patton looked distressed and felt his chest tighten at the sight. 

Logan nods. “Absolutely, tell me where it is,” he said, standing up.

Patton smiled. Logan’s heart jumped at his new favorite sight. “Thank you Logan! They’re both in the lamp room,” he said. The lamp room was where they had all their heat lamps for snakes, lizards, and other reptiles. Sometimes they used it for baby animals (like kittens) that had no mother for warmth. 

Virgil smiled as Logan walked away with Patton. He pulled out his phone and started to text his friend, Remy. They didn’t usually hire outsiders, but Virgil introduced him to Logan and Patton and they quickly hired him. Remy was also really good with birds for some reason.

You: u and ro are gonna help me set up our bosses

Sleep King: k. when we startin?

You: lunch. imma talk to ro dont b l8

Sleep King: k see u then

Virgil put his phone up and followed the others into the lamp room to talk to Roman. They had a date to plan.

~~~

Patton smiled as Logan finally got the sick kitten to drink some formula. Normally, Logan wouldn’t have to do this, but there were no mother cats willing to provide milk. Hence, the bottle of kitten formula.

He watched as Logan smiled and pet the small cat for doing such a good job. Patton decided then and there he would do whatever he could to make Logan smile like that more often.

Roman noticed Patton’s helpless staring and nudged him. “You good, Pops?” He asked.

Patton blinked and stopped starting at Logan. “Yes? Why wouldn’t I be?”

Roman laughed a little. “You’re kinda staring at Logan,” he said.

Patton’s face burned red. “O-oh! I didn’t notice,” he mumbled.

Roman stared at him for a second before grinning. “You have a crush on Logan,” it was a statement, not a question.

“Noooo…” Patton lied, looking away. “What makes you say that?”

Roman tried to hide his giggles but he failed miserably. “Oh my god you do!” He laughed. “You have a crush o-“

Patton put a hand over Roman’s mouth before he could finish his sentence. “Okay! I do! But don’t tell him!” He pleaded.

Roman rolled his eyes but nodded nonetheless. Patton removed his hand and sighed. “Fine. But I’m telling the others.”

Patton paled. “You can’t! No one can know!” He cried.

“You can’t expect me to keep this a secret from everyone?” Roman asked, raising an eyebrow.

“A gay can dream, can’t he?” Patton said with a sad but hopeful smile.

“I’m telling Remy and Virgil,” Roman said. “And possibly Remus and Janus,” he added after some thought.

Patton lowered his head in defeat. “As long as Logan doesn’t find out, you can tell whoever,” he mumbled.

Roman took one look at his friend’s sad expression and sighed. “Fine. I’ll only tell Virgil and Remy. Deal?”

Patton nodded, smiling a little. “Deal!”

~~~

Remy sipped his iced coffee as he waited for Virgil and Roman I’m the breakroom. He had been waiting for a few minutes and was starting to get impatient. Usually Virgil didn’t keep him waiting this long.

“Sorry we're late!” Virgil said, stumbling through the doorway with Roman close behind. Both men looked a little rough.

Remy whistled. “Why were you two late? Wait, don’t tell me,” he said, smirking. He laughed at his friend’s red face. “Relax! I’m kidding! I know what really happened.”

“Remy!” Virgil cried. “Get your mind out of the gutter!”

Remy lowered his sunglasses, looking Virgil right in the eye. “It’s not in the gutter, babe. I never said what really happened.”

“Whatever! What’s going on?” Roman asked, changing the subject. He walked over to the fridge and pulled out the salad he had been saving. “Virgil said something about setting up some guys?”

“Yeah, Logan and Patton,” Virgil said. “Logan has this huge crush on Patton but he’s too chicken to do anything about it.”

Roman laughed. “This is perfect! Patton just told me he also had a crush on our Nerdy Wolverine!” He told them.

Remy shrugged. “Well, the answer is pretty simple. We set up two fake dinners. One between Virgil and Logan and one between Roman and Patton. Then, when they both accept, you both stand them up and watch from a different table,” Remy said it like it was obvious. 

Roman stared at him. “That is so cheesy and cliché!” He cried. Then he smirked. “I’m in.”

Virgil rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ve got nothing better to do anyway.”

And just like that, they had a plan.

~~~

Roman and Virgil got off the phone about the same time, setting up their fake dinner dates. Virgil felt bad about lying to his friends, but Roman assured him it was in that name of love.

“They’ll thank us later,” Roman said.

“Let's hope so,” Virgil mumbled, snuggling into his side. “Cuddle me to make me feel better?” He asked.

Roman put an arm around Virgil. “Of course,” he said.

Remy groaned. “Get up you two! You have a date to stalk!” He whined.

“Can’t you do it? They could recognize us! Plus, you’d get to see the date first hand,” Virgil said smiling.

“You got me there,” Remy mused. “Fine! You can stay. I got some gays to stalk,” he said, walking away.

~~~

Logan fiddled with his tie as he waited for Virgil to show up. Virgil was never late and he was starting to worry. What could make Virgil forty minutes late? To a reserved time no less!

He was pulled from his spiraling by the sound of crying. Looking around he noticed Patton wasn’t far from him. Not only that, he was the one in tears. It broke his heart to see him so sad, so he walked over and put a hand on his back.

“Patton? Are you okay?” Logan asked.

Patton shook his head and wiped at his tears. “N-no. Roman said we would meet up for dinner here but it’s been almost an hour and he’s still not here!” He sobbed. Patton turned to him and it broke Logan’s heart to see his friend so distraught. “Do you think he lied to me?” He whispered, sounding scared.

Logan used his thumb to wipe away a stray tear. “Or course not. He’s probably running late! Virgil was going to meet me here too, but he hasn’t showed up either,” Logan said, smiling.

Patton tilted his head in confusion. He looked like a confused puppy to be honest. “Virgil’s never late to anything,” he said.

“I know, that’s why I’m a little concerned,” Logan sighed. Then he pulled out his phone. “I’ll call him and ask if he’s okay.”

Logan pulled out his phone and dialed Virgil’s number, praying he would pick up this time. Thankfully, he did.

“Hey Logan?” It was more of a question than a greeting. “How’s it going?”

“Where are you?” Logan asked, tapping his foot in frustration. “It’s been forty minutes! And do you know where Roman is? He stood Patton up and I found him crying outside the building!” He seethed.

On the other end, Virgil sighed. “I-I’m sorry okay? It was Remy’s idea. And Roman’s sitting right next to me.”

“What’s going on?! What was Remy’s idea?!” Logan cried.

Logan heard some movement on the other side and suddenly, Roman was the one in possession of the phone.

“Okay, L, listen up! You and Patton obviously have deep romantic feelings for each other and neither of you are doing a thing about it! So me, Remy, and Virgil set you guys up on a date! You’re welcome!” Roman said smugly. “Now go enjoy your date!” He declared before hanging up.

“Roman? Roman!” Logan yelled into the phone, hoping it would bring him back. 

“Is everything okay?” Patton asked. Thankfully, his tears had dried by now and was looking a little less sad.

“Yes. They’re both fine. For now,” Logan added, stuffing his phone back into his pocket.

“What do you mean ‘for now’?” Patton asked, raising an eyebrow. When Logan didn’t answer he pressed further. “Logan, what do you mean?”

Logan sighed. “They set us up on a date by asking both of us to attend a dinner and ditching us both. Leaving us to spend the night together,” he explained.

“Oh! That’s not so bad, right?” Patton asked.

Logan shrugged, but smiled nonetheless. “Yeah, you’re right,” he said. Then he took Patton’s hand and led him to the front door and opened it. “Shall we?”

Patton giggled. “We shall.”

A few years later, the partner-owned animal shelter would become a family business, but for now they would enjoy dinner dates every Sunday and movie night almost every day after work. All thanks to their friends.

Logan was still going to tear them apart later, though.

[tumblunni]

I have a question that I hope is ok. I have had a suspicion that I might have some form of autism for quite a while now and when you reblog posts that say something along the line of just autism things like the one you just did I have to do a double take because I do all of those things + have them happen to me and am shocked when I see I'm not the only one who does these things especially the really abstract. I don't ever bring it up though in fear that people get upset that I'm "faking"

Oh man, mystery person, that’s pretty heavy!! I know the feeling, it took me a LONG time of self-examination to work out whether I might have autism, and I actually did have to deal with a less-than-optimal response when I tried to talk to someone about it. My doctor outright said ‘but you seem too smart for that’, like.. what the fuck?? So seriously, you need to be prepared to be PERSISTANT. Don’t lose confidence in your decision! Make sure you get to see an actual diagnosis, don’t let them lock you out of it based on dumb stereotypes. Cos seriously, general practitioners going ‘hey this person probably doesnt have this thing that’s completely out of my division, and I wont even let them talk to that division’.. thats just.. GOD I really get frustrated and scared thinking how much more messed up my life would be right now if I’d listened to him and not ever got help for my condition!

So my advice is basically.. even if you don’t want to ‘self-diagnose’, please do ‘self-diagnose’.You need to be abnormally prepared for this, you need to have a list of all your symptoms, you need to learn the terms and have reference to point to in the event of them denying you the ability to talk to an actual psychologist. And you need to be prepared for them even treating you like you cant be autistic if you were capable of doing this!You need to hand-hold your general practitioner through explaining what autism even is, and do whatever the fuck you can so you can get transferred over to someone who actually knows who they’re talking about.Oh and common ‘self-diagnosis’ type stuff can also help a lot in the meantime, because doing research on the subject can lead you to finding new coping methods, finding other people to ask about the subject, and just generally tiding you over until you’re able to get a professional diagnosis and (hopefully) access to things like therapy and local autism community groups.Also, just, in some countries medical care is way less accessable, so I know not eveyrone is even able to get a professional diagnosis at all.

Oh, and an important thing is that autism is a spectrum and there are many different symptoms you can have. it can even be hard to discover your own symptoms, you might find that they manifest in a weird way because you’ve been subconciously trying to hide them or using some form of unhealthy coping method for years. Going undiagnosed into your adult years is really like.. one of the primary causes for autism being REALLY disabling! Dear god my stage of treatment right now is just learning to untangle a bunch of bullshit I’ve done to myself over the years, and re-learn basic life skills and self confidence. I think if i’d been born into an environment with people who actually would have recognised it and cared about getting me help as a kid, i could have grown up without most of my anxiety issues!Another important fact is that adult autism is often co-morbid with anxiety issues, due to the circumstances of being left completely alone to deal with this thing for your entire life with no support. There’s also just a lot of ways certain anxiety disorders (as well as ADHD) can have overlapping symptoms with autism spectrum disorders. A lot of the ‘that feel when’ meme stuff can be relateable to all three of these otherwise quite different disorders. So I’d reccommend looking up info on ADHD, PTSD, generalized anxiety disorder, and related conditions too, and maybe seeing which disorder seems most similar to what you’re experiencing. And don’t be scared if it seems like you might have multiple of them! In real life being ‘all the tokens at once’ is VERY MUCH not ‘unrealistic’, man I really hate those people who’re like ‘hwaaa someone who’s black AND gay AND in a wheelchair? political correctness gone maaaad!’ Seriously, its very VERY possible to have more than one mental illness, especially ones that might have a knock-on effect causing another one. Going undiagnosed and untreated for ANYTHING can lead to developing anxiety and depression, but going undiagnosed for a social disability makes it especially likely to get specifically social anxiety.oh, and randomly for an example I happen to also have prosopagnosia, which means I can’t tell the difference between people’s faces. I literally cannot recognise my best friend if she changes her hairstyle or glasses. This is kinda Double Hell combined with autism, cos its already a challenge for me to judge people’s emotions, lol!

Oh man I’m kinda going offtopic and just rambling every damn fact I know, but I’m just hoping maybe something will be helpful??I really am not an expert on autism, I dont even know any good informative blogs to link you to. I’m just a regular person who happens to have the condition, and I don’t know how to give good advice when i’m still quite often suffering from denial and self hate myself...But I dunno, I just hope it could help to hear my personal experience, and know that you’re not alone.Though now I’m worrying maybe this post is a little intimidating so it might make you feel worse?? Seriously, this is just a worst case scenario thing, hopefully your doctor won’t be as casually gatekeepy as mine was. And I mean, he seemed like a good man who wasnt exactly rude about it and wasnt doing it on purpose. If anything that worries me more, tho, cos he was just politely saying ‘haha no you’re wrong’ to a patient, about a subject he wasnt remotely qualified in, and wouldnt have ever considered reccommending me to a professional if i hadnt kept nagging him about it and come back with a bunch of research and stuff. It felt SO damn cathartic to get that ‘YES, AUTISM’ in the end! Shame I couldnt show it to him and I probably would have had my entire healthcare cut forever if I boasted XDAlso, I was lucky that I had my charity support worker to help me through the stress of the assessment interviews. I hope you have at least one person who’d be able to be there for you and believe you, in times like these. Or, even if you’re like me and you dont’ have any family and stuff, I hope you end up meeting a surprisingly awesome governent worker lady who wears a cool hat and helps you out. Seriously, Amber, you’re a godsend!

So umm.. yeah.. i am REALLY sleep deprived and I am not good at words but i hope some of this helped?? I hope you’re okay, anon!And honestly, reading ‘lol relateable jokes’ type posts on people’s blogs was how I first started suspecting I was autistic, too. I’d grown up buried in so many stereotypes of mentally ill people, I never thought I was one of them until I actually got to read blogs from their perspective. Joke posts obviously aren’t a substitute for a diagnosis, but I think they kinda serve a valuable role in the self acceptance process, yknow? Thank you, joke posts!

[daddyimmaru]

In which Michael proposes

((Its almost my birthday this is a gift to myself ywy

The Michael in the mirror looks far more confident than he does. He looks good, if only because he put a little extra effort in to look nice, but his hands are sticking to just about everything he touches, and his hair is a bit messy from running sticky hands through it, and- oh, he was stressed and wished he had some better advice than "just go for it," which his cousin promised would work. Most of what Erin said was shit though, so he really ought to stop listening to them.

"You got this," he tells himself. Mirror Michael gives him a look. "You.. probably got this?" He tries again. This time, someone walking into the bathroom gives him a look. He must seem crazy, talking to his reflection and gripping the sink hard enough that his knuckles were changing color. (The sink had given out a crunching sound earlier, and he worried if he moved his fingers, there would be dents.) He takes a breath, let's it out slowly, and eases his grip. Luckily, there was little more than a few spider webbing cracks.

The pub has continued on without him; music hums steadily over the room, and people are laughing while they share drinks- the only difference is that his mozzarella sticks arrived at their table. "You were gone awhile." Kraken looks up at him, pushes a small bowl of marinara sauce over the table. "Had to fix my makeup," he flashes a grin and snags a mozzarella stick. "I can't just wake up looking this good." Kraken snorts and shakes his head. "I've seen you in the morning." He points out before taking a sip from his glass. (Red wine, he notes, as usual.)

"I hate to cut this short," he shoves another stick into his mouth before he finishes. "But I have something I wanna show you. If you're up for it?" His hand sticks to the table, and he takes another breath to relax. "Sure." Matthew gives him a curious look, nearly hidden by his glasses, and he pries his hand off the table to grab his wallet. They both stand- he feels impossibly shaky- and he quickly tosses some cash to the table before they leave.

It's cold out, the air chilled with both the time of night and the snow floating to the ground. Matthew's hand is warm in his own, and he sways their hands between them while they walk. Each breath is a cloud, and his nose is as cold as the tips of his ears. "We're gonna have to, uh, go up." He gestures with his free hand to the rooftops, offering a nearly embarrased smile. (Ah, his hands are sticking, and he quickly tugs his hand away in favor of ducking into an alleyway.) Kraken follows quietly- he can hear the rustle of fabric when the arms move out from under his coat- and Maestro rested his hands on the wall to pull himself up. His feet connect with the wall and he straightens- was it really straightening, if he was horizontal?- and he waits until Matthew is level with him. Two out of four arms dig into the walls, the third on the ground while the fourth chirped by his face and pressed its center against his cheek. They tended to pick up on emotions, seemed aware of his stress. He soothed it with a soft hum and ran his fingers over the cool metal.

It's quiet on the roof. The arms churr quietly when they drop Kraken back onto his feet, and Michael takes a moment to adjust to being vertical again before he leads the criminal over the thin snow. They hop rooftops, until Michael is satisfied with their position in the city. They're up high, above the sounds of traffic and people beneath them. He had set this area up earlier; there's a thick blanket, with small fairy lights keeping everything lit. Despite the layer of snow speckling his set up, it looks nice. Matthew seeks to agree, because a soft smile settles over his face and he makes his way over to the heavy comforter.

Michael is stressed. The Wall Words (he had nicknamed them this, the words that always warned him of trouble ahead. They had saved him more than once) remained silent, leaving him to his anxieties. He shoves a hand into his pocket, thumbs nervously over the heavy box and rocks on his heels. "Uh- Matthew?"

Just go for it.

"Don't tell me you brought me here to break up with me," Kraken turns to face him.

Just go for it.

"What? No, just," he exhales and steps carefully over the snow, stopping just in front of his partner. "Okay. Uh, I think I'm doing this right. Probably? I mean, no one ever told me how to do this." He cringes, knowing he's rambling, before dropping. His knee cracks against the cold ground- roof?- painfully, and he makes face as he shifts to get situated. "Okay, uhm. Matthew. I met you as Maestro, and I fell in love with Kraken." He thinks that Matthew understands what's happening, because his lips part slightly and the pupils on the arms widen like a cat. "I know it's hard to be a villain dating a hero, but I love you, and I want to be with you for as long as you'll have me. I want forever with you. And I'll understand if you say no, or need time- I can wait! I can wait as long as you need me to. I took us up here 'cause I didn't want you to feel pressured in public." He searches Kraken's face, fumbling with the box and exhaling through his teeth.

He had managed to get Erin to help him pick the ring. It had taken over a week until he was satisfied with his decision, unwilling to settle on anything other than perfect. He had thought long and hard before settling on one he deemed suitable; the band was as thick as the ones Kraken usually wore, gold with the inside being black. He had settled on moonstone for the decorations, embedded in the band and glittering softly under the fairy lights. "It's not, it's not diamond, but I looked into different stones, 'n figured out that this one was good for love? I don't know if you believe in stones-" ah, he was rambling again. "I love you," his voice wavers. "And I want to be forever with you."

He falls silent, and waits.

((I dont like leaving on cliffhangers, but I can't finish this one! Kraken belongs to @angerydj , and due to this I won't be finishing this until i know how Kraken would react. Either way, I've been excited ab writing somethin like this for a while!

((Anyway yes almost my birth! I'm excited it's the first year we're not in a bad place so it should be cool and all that, plus it's almost been a year since I cursed the world with Maestro!