#I don't want to blow the surprise..
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💀💀💀💀💀
#tell my why my father felt the need to throw out SO MUCH MONEY. AGAIN. JESUS CHRIST#I'm this close 🤏🤏🤏🤏 to tell him to bring that back#the dude really thinks money equals love#bro you can't BUY HER AFFECTION LITERALLY DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT DON'T THROW OUT SO MUCH MONEY FOR NOTHING#I'm so angry wtf#wtffff#johnny's silly rambles#what do i do now???#I don't want to blow the surprise..#i mean my mum kinda knows what he'd buy#but this???????#i think i scared her already with my reaction just now💀#fml why is he like this😐#hello you don't get much money and maybe we want to eat still#like fuck off man#hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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Never gonna live that down.
[First] Prev <–-> Next
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#lan jingyi#jin ling#Surprise comic for today because this was cut from the previous comic.#And I'm so close to finishing season 2! I want to post my final comics and celebrate!#I imagine they (the juniors) hold the stabbing incident over Jin Ling's head for years. Akin to a funny typo in the group chat.#The stabbing is his Grink. Every time JL and WWX are seen interacting someone makes a teasing remark.#“I'm going to go ask Wei Wuxian what he thinks about our night hunt plans.” “Okay! Don't stab him ^-^.”#I also imagine WWX eventually leaning into it. A little bit of teasing to let it be known that there are no hard feelings.#LWJ (the funniest guy ever) would bide his time. Waiting for it to die down.#Then launch devastating blow as he joins in with “Wei Ying is in the courtyard. Please refrain from stabbing him today.”#Modern AU juniors would be brutal with the group chat lore. The pinned messages is a hall of fame and a hall of shame.#Nothing is forgotten. Nothing is sacred.#And poor jin ling is too reactionary. He is the ideal target because he flusters in a funny way.#I (the punchline friend) know my role well. I have been at the epicenter of many memorable typos and on-going bits.#You have to embrace it. Reverse it on them. Wield it as your power. Edit your messages to INCLUDE the typo.#(Fellow punchlines; I would *love* to hear your stories. Your jestery burdens. Your infamous typos. This is a safe space.)
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Sometimes I try to write down thoughts about this campaign but I admittedly have not been paying enough attention to feel confident in my character analysis so I write an incoherent text post and then delete it because I don't know if I'm actually making the correct judgments.
#cr spoilers#in the tags#so i'm going to rant in here instead if you keep reading past this you can't get mad at me#anyway i want to talk about ashton#and how they would have been absolutely intolerable in c1 or c2#where every character was invested in saving the world#for one reason or another#and c3 is just like#orym is the only one talking sense and everyone else is just like 'well maybe?'#but matt also said something about being ready for exandria to shift drastically based on their chocie#and if matt weren't ready for exandria to change ashton would be harder to watch than they are now#idk taliesin does quite often play around with hypocrisy with his characters so i'm not really surprised#by ashton claiming to stand up for the little person and then going and being willing to blow up their entire world#like they're not actually thinking about the 'little person'#they're thinking about themselves and that's really it#but yeah i do keep waiting for someone to say something that gives ashton that realization#that they can't use their trauma as an excuse to blow up everyone else's lives#idk i'm running out of steam#it's interesting to watch taliesin play around with this#but i've got to say that if they don't make a fucking choice about what they're actually going to do#idk i'm just ready for them ALL to stop waffling#okay now i'm done#i still have a lot of thoughts but i'd have to rewatch the whole campaign to feel confident in my talking points#and that's not going to happen lol
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me at my bookstore job to the 27th young adult straight edgy fantasy romance to come in this month
#full disclosure in case this blows up somehow because of booktok or something - IT'S NOT JUST BOOKTOK CRITICISM OR HET ROMANCE CRITICISM#this is me getting annoyed about the fact that the genre itself is oversaturated with too many of the same cookie cutter plot#girl in magic land meets guy and they hate each other but they don't really!!! but their love grows over the tides of the kingdom's war.....#<- THIS PLOT RIGHT HERE. I'VE SEEN FIVE SEPARATE AUTHORS DO THIS#and again - to clarify - it is NOT just booktok with this oversaturation issue#regular fiction is oversaturated with WW2/victorian era romance dramas - where the plot is good! but then A GUY SHOWS UP#AND THE WOMAN MUST MAKE A CHOICE..... TO SUPPORT HER CHILD OR LEAVE BEHIND HER OLD LIFE etc etc WE GET IT. FUCK.#and it's not just fiction too!!! the charts are oversaturated with crime novels in general right now#granted - most of them are good and try to be original - however there's just too many in the main chart#i won't list all of them to prevent drama - but in two past 'six new chart topper' deals - four were crime#and they haven't sold well. even bringing in popular authors didn't help them sell well#there needs to be a shake up. i don't want to be elitish or snobbish - PEOPLE CAN 100% WRITE WHAT THEY WANT#everyone's art is unique and beautiful because they did it#and they have the freedom to do so#but writers nowadays are falling too much into keeping with trends that it's actively tiring out consistent readers#write your fantasy novel - but lean into the worldbuilding. write your world war novel - but elaborate outside the characters.#write your fiction or crime - but try to vary up the beats of the plot to surprise readers more#stop trying to cater to what you l they want and what works - try and surprise them with something new and unexpected.#anyways rant over. i can talk about this for ages but i won't. but i could#spark talks about nothing of relevance#clip from the shadow the hedgehog rtfd 👍 thank you devil. from bible.
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Jayce telling vi she won't make it on her own.... okay mr. projector...
#viktor just turned his body into the arcane and you dont even know!!! his leg is purple!!!!#im not going to excuse vi for saying the kid knew what he was getting into bc he didn't bc he is a kid (here we have ms. projector)#but telling jayce he has always been complicit of this he just didnt have to see it... yeah exactly.#and like she obviousky regrets the kid dying but it was jayces fault lmao why does he blow up on her??? the name calling got to him#jayce thinking omg he is going to off himself and viktor just trying to hide the evidence of his murder akdhsksj well yes he does want to...#i was wondering why the council was so Flabbergasted about the nation of zaun?? like they dont care and basically dont intervene#in the undercity bc they don't have any interest or profit in there. they don't gain anything at all from there.#so of course when silco asks jayce says sure fuck it. the only thing the council needs from zaun is the gemstone and its not even theirs#it's probably just fear of agression towards piltover as another nation and not something they can control or repress#silcos reaction to cait being wheeled in akdhaksj it sounds like he said 'what' he probably didnt know the girlfriend part... understandable#i forgor about her bringing the platter out... like ofc i didnt forget it but i didnt see it coming there. with bad memory you can be#surprised every time you watch the same show 👍🏻#i haven't cried because well the foruth time is a stretch now to cry but i still got chills at the end with the missile impacting....#and like whay would have happened if cait didn't free herself.... like ofc she would have bc everyone in that room could have killed her#not vi etc etc but she did just leave her so who knows really#anyways the monsters appearing in jinxs vision when vi mentions her past family is so poignant to her change.... they dont have the intended#reaction vi meant.... and silco is trying to shut her up for jinx's sake and look what happened to him. like vi really couldn't understand#her sister now and maybe back then either.... like not to be a silco apologist but it seems like he was the only one who could handle her#maybe im exaggerating but it would have gone wrong either way i think like no matger how much love there is in between them#idk man its so bad. like maybe this could have been avoided but it would have gone wrong in a different way for sure#and this couldn't have been avoided#talking tag#watching arcane#three weeks away still.... what now....
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Dash simulator
Blog 1: lol anyone else seeing a lot of strawberries in new recipes now? sometimes its fun but i really dont get the appeal of adding it to everything. why did you make strawberry garlic bread
Blog 2: u kno im not a fan of strawberries, i really like the rich sweet and sour notes from oranges, oranges and chocolate is such a good combo. i altered a recipe for a smoothie with oranges last week and it was soooo good ill give you my notes if you want Reblogged by: Blog 1: ahaha yesss i love chocolate and oranges
Blog 3: I canNOT believe the hate im seeing to strawberries right now, like, you know guys know the rule don't like don't bake right?? you know you can hit the back button right?? honestly what's wrong with yall
Open draft- wait guys you know there's a difference between leaving a comment on a recipe saying you hate strawberries and the recipe writer should never use them, and going to your own blog to say you don't really like strawberries, without naming any specific people or recipes right? you know there's a difference right?? - Save - Post - Discard
Draft discarded
Blog 4: why is everyone jumping on the strawberry hate train right now. what is wrong with you. Reblogged by: Blog 5: I knowwww like guys some people stop baking because of reading things like that, please stop it, if you don't like strawberries you can be quiet about it
Open draft- im so sorry if anyone's getting sent mean messages or comments about what they're writing and baking, but i'm literally not seeing any of that and if you are, please use the block button. but someone making a post on their own blog is not that, and if you can't see the irony in you being allowed to complain on personal blogs but not them i can't help you... - save- post- discard
Draft discarded
Blog 2: are strawberries even in season?
Blog 6: woo cherry pie!
#trying so hard to be a blog 6 rn#im discarding those drafts#but clearly it has been too much for me as this one is getting posted#like i really am sorry if any. strawberry antis are directly being rude to anyone#that isnt ok#but i have seen zero of that on my dash or in the tag#i saw a few blogs saying lol they don't like strawberries#and then i saw a ton of blogs saying how dare there be any negativity at all#and seeming to act as if those blog posts were specifically about disliked fic authors i mean recipe makers#which... if any of them were... i didn't see it because of how i blocked large swaths of the fandom like three years ago#when i realized that it was determined to blow up a discourse topic every single month#and if there are people doing that. please. do what i did. block en mass#if you open a recipe that turns out to have strawberries in it and you cant hit the back button but instead leave a nasty comment that is a#you problem#but also if you see a random blog post about someone saying they dislike strawberries- hate strawberries even- and you feel personally#attacked and start crying about how now you never want to bake a strawberry shortcake again and they're so mean#that is also. a you problem.#'what fandom is this pocket' dont worry about it#not one i have any mutuals in#which. considering the mass blocking and the annoying chronic discourse explosions. perhaps is not surprising
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Apparently, if you get the store bonuses from Animate for both the first Milgram manga volume and the second novel, for a limited time you can also get an extra booklet called MILGRAM's Top Secret Experiment Report Side-W, with a little text written with Yamanaka that (I think) connects the current and past Milgram instances.
#I've heard the offer also applies to online purchases. Hopefully somebody picks it up and shares it.#Side W(hite?) sounds like we're eventually going to get a side B#Probably for the second volume of the manga. Maybe a side G(rey) too if it stretches into three volumes.#It took a year and half for the first manga volume of part 1 to come out‚ so if it takes the same time for part 2...#I wonder if the spinoffs are gonna outlive the main project.#It depends on how long they want to stretch it out for‚ I guess. There's nothing technically stopping them from making another#interactive Milgram‚ assuming they don't blow it up at the end of the main series#But it does lose the surprise element of “But what does it MEAN to be voted guilty or innocent?”#milgram
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c*thy and chr*stie are the same in that they will both get labeled "successful" for what happened under their "leadership" but at the end of the day all the good things that happened happened in spite of them.
#nothing cathy has done in the past 24 hours is surprising#you're telling me a deloitte ceo wanted to focus on prioritizing revenue over being a decent human being?#over attempting to tamper down the racists who are selling out gain bridge?#why would she do that#i also saw a tweet that said oh she only said something after stewie said something [in a post game interview not even presser]#while that is technically true it's not why#her pr team was probably in motion when that video was blowing up on twitter#and then especially after the union put out the statement#i do think they should get a new commissioner and i've heard some good names#but i think it would take a lot to get her fired especially with the growth of the league as it is happening now#but that she doesn't know or doesn't care about the majority of the players in this league [this is about race and sexuality#but it's also about player health and safety#don't forget about what the schedule was before the break and quite frankly what it continues to be#you could have had people playing every three or four days#instead you cram 4 games into a week and then give a week off#or the planes]#that should be considered as damming as economic failure#because the players are the product#and their physical and mental health is important to maintaining the quality of play#if you had to make an argument that's not about being a decent human being
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It's unfair to me personally that fanfic chapters have to be finished before they are posted and enjoyed.
#I'm very excited and must blow off steam#I don't know if you would call the events of the next chapter mishaps or shenanigans#but they will be madcap#do not read further if you don't want spoilers but#there will be a skateboard chase#that's all I'm at liberty to discuss#I am sorry if you didn't want spoilers but you read like I do: everything all at once with no differentiation between sentences#This was something that baffled my elementary school teachers#Don't read ahead they would say#only to find I'd read the entire page and somehow the next three pages ahead without turning it#Nifty if you need to find a dictionary definition in less than a second#Not so good for surprises
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The fact that I went into that first conversation with Gortash completely blind and he somehow managed to be the one that almost convinced me to side with him is just wild to me. Gwydion had been incredibly resistant to anyone (even his partner) trying to get him to be just a little power-hungry, but then Gortash came along and started talk about unity and stability instead of "we're gonna be evil and rule the world" and it was working on Gwydion.
My only thought during the coronation scene was "damn, he really does know Gwydion"
#don't get me wrong i think gortash wpuld have definitely leaned into the 'let's be evil and rule together as evil overlords' thing if he'd#thought it would work#but the conversation had a definite 'oh yes let's be partners again and work to preserve the city and save it from itself' bent#and the fact that he was so sincere about legitimately wanting to be equals with gwydion again#I dunno#all of that really culminated in Gwydion not knowing what to do for the first time that playthrough#when I say he has a very strong personality I mean it. Most 'moral dilemmas' in the game weren't really dilemmas for him#perks of being a paladin#but then Gortash came along and confused all of that for him#I only really found out about their working relationship during that conversation bc I missed a bunch of stuff#so my surprise was genuine when Gortash started displaying fairly intimate knowledge of how Gwy works#I had Gwydion wear Gortash's gauntlet for a bit for roleplay reasons#he didn't remember the man but something in him hurt when that final blow was struck and he wasn't quite ready to move on yet#the dark urge#enver gortash#what's even more wild is i was headcanoning that his paladin oath (devotion) had been sworn to someone other than bhaal before#orin happened#and i could see a pre-tadpole Gwy deciding Gortash was a good person to swear that to so when Gortash#when Gortash started talking about swearing oaths to each other??#wild#absolutely wild#i did not get enough sleep and it shows#12:43#bg3
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You know I thought for awhile that I was just a rare type of person who sure, liked people well enough but was okay being alone didn't necessarily need anyone and NO. NO. NO. OH MY GOD . YOU GIANT DUMBASS. NO HAHAHA NOOO NOPE
#tide of consciousness#See what was confusing me is usually when people talk about life partner they mean romantically sexually#And also I have yet to meet someone who gets me in the way I want someone to get me <- I think <- good chance I have and squandered it#<- that may be the evil brain talking though#But anyway so I was misconstruing the fact that the people I know and like currently are not people I want to spend my life with#With the idea that there is no one and no chance I will ever want that#And also heteronormative allo society despite my best efforts Is in my brain#And I'm only just realizing how badly I would really like to find a person or maybe people who do make me feel like. I could want that#The idea that there could be someone out there that I would want to spend my time and space with forever is mind blowing#Because honestly and this is of course the mental illness but I have kind of been under the assumption that maybe I am just like. Weeell#Evil and broken and cruel and selfish and HAHA. you know. The usual#Because you know only recently I got my first taste of 'a person is actively choosing you and wants you over all things'#And then I fucked that up because that was my first time believing anyone could care about me and you know you always fuck that one up#And that sucked and is still in the process of sucking but it has also made me realize#That there is actually a way that I would want that. Maybe#Like in a way that worked. I'd really like to have a person like that maybe#And honestly that's a nightmare to have to realize#Because before it was like hey! I guess I just don't have to worry about that!#And now I'm like FUCK. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THIS#because special secret I've never actively tried to connect to people in my life ever#I don't know how you do that! I don't know how to actively form relationships!#I just wait for someone to grab me and pull me along! It's terrifying to think about trying to discover that#AT 20!#I know it's not unusual especially in this day and age in fact it's kind of an epidemic#But you're supposed to learn how to socialize when you're a little tiny baby!!! I don't want to figure this out now I can't even get a job!#Fucking shit that's a lot of words um#Every 6 months I remember that I'm deeply deeply deeply lonely and it's the worst and then I wilfully ignore it until I rediscover it again#Every day I discover a new layer to how utterly wretchedly self loathing my brain is and its the worst#Peeling back a layer of paint and surprise! You've subconsciously thought you were fine being alone because secretly you believe#That it is impossible for you to be anything but alone! Yay!
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if trent crim doesn't stop making heart eyes at ted fucking lasso i'm going to show up at james lance's door myself
#they won't wind up together and i don't think i even want them to but my god#trent has AT MINIMUM a crush on that dad and i will do everything in my power to blow it out of proportion#ted lasso#trent crimm#trent baby i missed you what a good surprise
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My mom said: "I watched this horror movie called Longlegs and I didn't really get it, but I thought you might like it." And she was right, so now I am going to work on chapter 18 of The Devil Snatched Me Away.
#⤷ 👑🪐 . little talks (queque)#Can you tell which fic of mine gets a special treatment?#I have NO ONE to tell the lore to bc I don't want to spoil the surprise to my readers#and I only told half of it to my brother#but DAMN if I don't already want to start writing some future arcs#that will (hopefully) blow your minds
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Well, it's about that time again...and after blooming with pain over the weekend and even having to call out of work, I'm glad I had such a stormy, easy day of it yesterday. The store gets markedly less business on rainy days, so I was able to focus more on how I was feeling in the moment. And honestly, if customers can show a little bit of patience, maybe a bit more than usual with me, I think I'll be fine? Like, I've already had the occasional trouble with losing my grip or handling very small object, but I feel like I've had a worse time of it lately. But if I'm above average in like customer satisfaction and checkout speed, and I get slowed down, surely that's...fine? As long as I keep coming home and putting frozen vegetables on my back and making a more ergonomic environment for myself (even at times where I just nod off immediately) and using the seat my workplace seems pretty okay with me using behind the register, I'll probably be fine. It's hard to say for sure...I don't want to be defeatist, but you really never know with head and neck injury. But there are still a lot of things I can do to manage my symptoms here and now, ways I can ease strain and minimize further injury. And whatever happens happens, I guess. It has scared me and soured my mood, for my pain to get worse and worse and worse and just not respond to anything. But it's been waning lately. And I told my workplace I've been having a hard time of it, and they seem to be at least understanding enough. Even if I get dizzy and need to sit down sometimes, there was already a lot of downtime in my shift where I'd get caught up on training and cleaning my area and help the super-early customers, and then there'd be nothing to do for the next hour...and I'm still getting all that other stuff done, I just have to pace myself differently and both the work and the downtime might look different. And...again, if my managers are cool with that, and they seem to be, then...surely it's fine?
Have a great day, everyone! Love you! 👋💕
#workday sendoff#all this pain and such has been a terrible blow to my limited energy#one of my big fears through this is that calling out and admitting weakness and all that would make them kick me out of this spot of mine#i love the opening shift and it fits me and my lifestyle and my special needs the best...and i don't want to lose it#if i must go out in the world and hold a job for 40 hours a week...this is probably my best bet right here where i'm at#it's not a great job but again there's a lot more downtime than the last job and holding this particular spot means no surprise cart pushin
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happy wife, happy life — gojo satoru
synopsis. not fawning over his wife may prove to be harder than gojo thought.
contents. fluff, gojo is so whipped for his wife and everyone is tired (whats new), ooc gojo?
notes. this was pure self indulgence. i wanted to slander and coddle gojo all at once and this was it teehee :3
the first thing you hear when you stand up to leave the staff meeting is a wolf whistle.
“looking good,” satoru looks you up and down. you roll your eyes playfully, your husband’s behavior is not foreign to you. he taps your upper thigh, dangerously close to your butt as you take your leave. however, the others in the room don't take kindly to the action.
“highly inappropriate behavior gojo,” utahime mutters under her breath from across the table. beside her, nanami is giving your husband a hard stare.
satoru pays no mind to them though, smiling up at you as you walk out of the room. you shake your head when he continuously blows a series of kisses. he ignores your rejection, opting to mouth crude comments instead.
the moment the door shuts, the strongest sorcerer immediately deflates, disinterested in whatever matters the rest had to discuss about.
“i don’t know how she puts up with you,” utahime takes a long sip out of her cup of tea. beside her, shoko snorts.
“probably for his body.” shoko is not unfamiliar with satoru’s antics, having witnessed it since his rowdy school days. she applauds him for coming far with you, but it was still fun to tease him.
gojo crosses his arms, emitting a disgruntled sound. “and my golden personality?”
nanami sighs, “ieiri’s conclusion is most likely right.”
the limitless user wiggles his finger playfully. “nanamin, how scandalous of you to fantasize about my body! i’m a married man y’know~”
nanami looks like he has eaten something sour. unlike you, nanami’s attitude towards gojo has not softened as the years passed.
“i’m surprised she’s still with you.” utahime snickers. “she’s a sensible woman and you’re–”
satoru frowns at her statement. he’d never thought about how you felt about his behavior. perhaps that was his fatal flaw. gojo satoru had a nasty streak of negligence. and the last time he failed to notice someone dear to him —
“well i’m glad she ended up choosing me, yeah?” his frown is quickly covered up by the wide smirk on his face. he leans back on his chair that’s starting to feel less comfortable by the second. the chair creaks under the weight of his body. honestly, how old are these old wooden things? “as much as i’d like to keep chatting about my lovely wife, i’d like to get this meeting over with so i can see her again.”
the rest of the meeting ensues as usual.
“sensei has been weird… right?” itadori offers his hand after knocking megumi down during a sparring match. the black haired boy grunts as he is pulled up.
“if by weird, you mean normal.” megumi glances back at you and gojo who are watching intently at the first and second years practicing close combat on the training field. it was a bit peculiar to see satoru not throw himself all over you. gojo without pda is like a jigsaw puzzle missing its most essential piece, leaving the overall picture incomplete and lacking the electrifying energy that defines his existence.
“i feel like i should be happy, but it’s unsettling to see him not initiating some misconduct. do you think they’re fighting?” nobara is panting on the grassy floor. she raises her hand in surrender when maki leaps in to take her head off with a spear.
maki retracts her blade, turning back to observe you and gojo, “nah, gojo would fold at her command.”
“salmon.”
from across the training field, you turn to your husband nervously, “why are they staring at us?”
satoru hums, his blindfolded gaze focuses on the field in front of you, “hm, maybe they’re admiring their very beautiful [name] sensei.” the blindfolded man pauses. compliments should still be okay– right? satoru can’t imagine a life without lavishing you with love, yet he will content himself with gently sprinkling you with affection.
you smack his shoulder playfully. to your surprise, your husband doesn’t reciprocate with some form of physical affection. you tilt your head, perplexed.
quickly dismissing it, you yell at your students to continue their training.
you don’t notice the way satoru clenches his fists, keeping his eyes trained anywhere but you.
the next time satoru is tempted by your presence is when he comes back home after a mission. it was a walk in the park, but the heavy stack of paperwork that followed it had depleted his energy. all he wanted was to snuggle in bed with his wife, selfishly keeping you all to himself.
and you’re not making it easier to resist with the way you warmly greet him with a smile in nothing but a small cotton tee and those tiny pajama shorts. eyes up, eyes up, eyes up, satoru mentally chants.
he thinks he might actually die.
“toru!” you abandon the book you had been reading to pay your husband taxes (kisses that satoru demands he must have). “you’re home awfully late.”
“mission… paperwork,” his clipped response is mumbled as he hurries past you and to your shared bathroom, avoiding your touch. satoru silently prays to the heavens that you don’t notice his suspicious efforts as he makes his way to take a much needed ice cold shower.
you stand in your spot in confusion, letting your husband go. slowly, you start to connect the pieces of satoru’s strange behavior from his refusal to touch you to his sudden responsible disposition. gojo satoru never does paperwork– not unless you bribe him with a dozen kisses. speaking of kisses, you don’t even remember the last time he had demanded one. something was definitely wrong.
without missing a beat, you quickly follow your lover’s trail into the bathroom.
to your delight, your husband had failed to lock the door. in the hush of your silence, you can hear the subtle rustle of satoru's garments.
his sky blue eyes go wide when he sees you walk through the door.
“toru… is there something wrong?” your voice is careful.
the white haired man in front of you nervously laughs as he covers his bare chest, “geez, ask me out to dinner first.”
“gojo satoru.”
your husband winces at his full name being used, but he puts on another mask. a faux smile plays on his lips as he shrugs. “i don’t know what you mean, gojo.”
your heart drops at his insistence to shut you out, but you stand your ground. with sheer determination, you walk up to your husband, closing the gap between the two of you. you cup his cheek with a hand while you start to lean closer, your lips nearly brushing.
satoru shuts his eyes, inhaling a deep breath to regain composure. he even sucks in his lips, making him look utterly ridiculous. despite the dangerous allure of your proximity, he resolves to stand firm.
"you won’t even kiss me anymore! satoru, this is absurd. what's happening?" you distance yourself, seeking answers.
despite his towering stature, a snort escapes you as satoru resembles a mere child when mumbling something under his breath.
"come on, use your big boy words."
"i don't want to drive you away," he avoids making eye contact now that his blindfold is off. "i know i can be a bit overwhelming at times."
upon hearing his excuse, you snort loudly, “seriously?”
“seriously.”
“i can’t believe i married such an idiot.” you huff, wrapping your arms around his neck.
satoru pouts, “you’re breaking my heart wifey.”
your lips softly kiss the corner of his mouth. like it was muscle memory, satoru’s lips chase yours even after you pull away. you smile.
“for such a genius, you really are stupid ‘toru.” you flick his forehead. he whines and you know it didn’t hurt, yet you entertain him by leaning up to kiss his injury. “believe it or not, i married you for reasons beyond your pretty face and body.”
“you think i’m pretty?” his eyes shine bright as they lovingly gaze into yours. you take one hand to cup his cheek. he nuzzles his face into it.
“of course you’d say that.” you laugh softly. “but honestly, i’m offended that you thought i would ever be annoyed by your affections. might i remind you that we have been madly in love since our youth? i found myself captivated by your ability to love effortlessly, and the way you hopelessly pined for me for years? i knew i was a goner. that… and your bank accoun–”
satoru kisses you with an intensity that leaves you feeling blissfully lightheaded. lost in the haze of the moment, he showers the rest of your face with tender, wet kisses, and you stand there, surrendering to the sweet assault.
upon withdrawing, satoru wears a broad grin. "i was an idiot today, wasn't i?" you nod, breathless. "how about i make it up to you tonight?" he proposes, drawing you close. you are all too familiar with that feral grin adorning his face.
#kt.writes.·:*¨༺#gojo x reader#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo fluff#gojou x reader#gojou satoru x reader#gojou satoru x you#gojo satoru x y/n#gojou satoru x y/n#jjk fluff#jjk x reader
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imagine if you like bought a house and the realtor that sold you the house came by and did maintenance every couple months and it was a pretty good arrangement until one day they stopped doing maintenance and things started breaking them and you called them up and they were like 'surprise! we've decided what this house is really missing is a pool so we're going to build a whole new house for you that has a pool we are so excited about this pool' and you were like 'is this a deflection from your sexual harassment lawsuit you're involved in' and they were like 'the pool is going to be so cool!' and hung up and you didn't hear from them for years and then they called you up again and were like 'good news! we've built the new house, why don't you move in' and you were like 'oh, the one with the pool?' and they were like 'wellll yeah but we haven't actually installed the pool yet but when we do it's going to totally transform how you live in your house so you can see the value' and you were like 'i don't know i think i'll stay in this one' and they were like 'hmm yeah sorry actually you can't we're blowing the old house up with dynamite' and you were like 'what? why?' and they were like 'so that you're not split between your old house and the new one' and you were like 'um, fine' and you drove over to the new house and there was no pool or space for a pool and the realtor showed up to gave you the keys and you were like 'this house looks identical to the old one, i don't really understand why you did this' and they were like 'aha! you see, the old house had six rooms, this one has five!' and you were like 'that sounds worse, though' and they were like 'no you see with only five rooms it will be much easier to do maintenance on the house' and you were like 'but you haven't done that for months' and they were like 'yeah that was the old house which we've just blown up with explosives this is the new house' and you were like 'so how's that sexual harassment lawsuit going' and they leaped acrobnatically into their car like a trapeze artist and zoomed away and you went into the house and saw a coin slot on the bathroom door and called them and you could hear the background noise of a courtroom and they said 'yeah so you have to pay five dollars every time you use the bathroom now, it's our new monetization plan' and you were like 'well this is bullshit i feel like this house is just straight up worse' and they were like 'noo listen the pool is going to be so cool it's going to be so good we promise there'll be a diving board and a tiki bar and those water jets that give young people sexual awakenings' and you were like 'well okay' and they were like 'we've been building this pool for four years trust us it's going to be good' and then you didn't hear from them for a long long time except occasionally when they showed up to do maintenance and if you asked about the pool they just winked meaningfully and asked if you wanted to pay a $15/month fee for a bathroom pass giving you unlimited flushes and toilet paper. and this went on for a year until one day you got a voicemail 'dear resident. we're not going to build the pool lol' and you called them back like 'well what the fuck did you demolish my old house for' and they were like 'we actually gave up on the whole pool like two years ago but we did a whole announcement and it would have felt sooo awkward to walk it back' and you were like 'what the fuck have i been paying five dollars to use the toilet for over these last two years!' and they were like 'listen buddy if you don't like it you can buy the bathroom pass' and then they hung up on you . anyway that's what happened with overwatch 2
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