#I don't want to be that person now who says that IVE BEEN SAYING that she needs to do the projects earlier instead of going who knows where
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sneeb-canons · 4 hours ago
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I WASNT SURE ABOUT THAT BUT I APOLOGIZE
I have a couple of reading problems so I misunderstood what the asker meant so thats my fault
BUT genuinely this is important for a lot of you
While i did misread this one, there has still been asks similar to this that i did catch. against both Heart AND Mind. I usually just delete them since ive already stated i was against that [it IS in the rules btw & some of yall need to read that again before submitting. including the shipping and suggestive rules]. But there been quite a bit over time & it still keeps happening even now, along side some other things. [im not good at writing down & explaining my thoughts but i'll do my best]
One being the entire part stated above
Second being how people deal with/handle aspects of depression & the main idea with the album.
A lot of people treat it either as if its for a joke, downplay or ignore it, or even infantilize parts of it [mainly toward Heart]. The last being an especially horrible way of talking about depression and portraying it. Theres a lot of people here [including myself] who struggle with that and its just harmful or annoying to see the main part of the album get horribly misinterpreted for many many reasons.
Which semi goes into the third point being that, for Whole especially, these characters are no matter what connected to CJ himself. So I will repeat that I do not want ANY shipping headcanons, suggestive/nsfw headcanons, and no headcanons about Whole that are too closely related to CJ. That mainly being pronouns or any other sexuality for Whole.
And not only have I stated this but Jash himself has said that Whole is basically just him. Even saying that with HMS; he has his own ideas for them but lets the public decide & choose their own for them. While for the other, he says "He/Him for ‘Whole’, though, seeing as it’s just me."
While yes there are ways to go about HMS being Whole or Whole as a character, he is still connected TO Chonny. This also goes for the other versions of him like the Power Hours. They are, to me, too closely connected to CJ that I don't feel comfortable giving headcanons to a Real Person.
Again there are ways to go about it where its more from the idea of the album/single itself. it being a headcanon about the content but not the actual person. Especially when he clarified it already that at least Whole is just him, so likely the the other albums are as well.
While all of that is not ALL the submissions, a good majority of you are chill thankfully, its happened enough to where it needs to be stated again. Either way just take caution when sending something in and just PLEASE read the rules before doing anything.
Mind has Bluetooth hearing aids. Soul had got him them so he could hear and be able to enjoy music. Yet, neither it nor Mind knew that they could connect to *anything.* Even if he didn't want them to. Heart found this out and connected them to his phone, just so he could play random ass sounds in Mind's ear.
Headcanon #895
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 28 days ago
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it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come
#like how do i even feel#on one hand im excited because like now that i finally agreed to dads stupid whims he technically will have to give in to things#ive been wanting since FOREVER like going to the gym#plus it's impossible to eat junk food when he's there he won't even let me kacchi maggi because maida hai bimar ho jayegi#and aadhe se zyada din toh pyaaz ye sab nahi kha sakte so it rules out any outside food#which is so good because like i just found out im pre diabetic lol#like borderline sugar like ab kuch nahi kiya toh seedha type 2 diabetes#so i need to eat healthy or ill literally die#i mean eventually but whatever being diagnosed with this in my 20s would kill me#also simply the fear of living with him is so much that i HAVE to study#and i want to now it's high time#but yeah want doesn't really work for me#i read a quote somewhere that 'goals' don't mean anything because winners and losers have the same goals#and i was like WOAH. like the person who gets an all india rank had the same goal as me: to pass the exam with good marks#but they succeeded and i didn't so it's isn't our goals that differentiate us#which ik is obvious but like still idk put things in perspective#anyway yeah that way my life MIGHT be fixed#but there's also living ALONE with my sociopathic FATHER who has more mood swings than me on pms#and being cut off frm the rest of civilisation and yk developed roads and buildings and ice cream shops#i guess it is mostly food ig :( which is good like the most junk food i can eat there is a burger from a nearby stall and that's pretty#much it they literally do not even have havmor or anything in walking distance forget scoop wali ice cream#but i like my bed and i like my ceiling with the stars and i like looking out of my window and knowing that the first ever crush of my life#lives right next to me and i like knowing that ill meet my bestfriend atleast once a month#i don't really love my mom or my brother tbh but idk maybe ill miss them it's weird ive never lived without them#i don't know i really hope that this is like a boot camp kota types experience rather than so much isolation that i sink deep into#depression. but then ive hit pretty shocking lows this year so hopefully i can handle it#my sister did say that when she lived alone with him for a month it was quite peaceful and okay because he usually gets more angry when mom#is around warna mostly he's fine#i don't know i don't know bhagwan ji please ab aur mushkil mat banana life bohot jhatke de chuke ho already ab pls#mujhe apni galtiyo ko sudharne ka mauka dena 🙏
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godtears · 3 months ago
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I really hate that ever since I got the fucked up news about my eyes I've just been feeling like everyone in my life fucking hates me and doesn't want to be around me. So I'm starting to get a little quieter around other people. I guess they got what they wanted, I finally figured out how to shut the fuck up.
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arsenicflame · 6 months ago
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i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.
#not to get sappy or anything#nyxtalks#feelings warning ahead#i don't know i guess im all up in my feelings but. just knowing someone thinks about me when im not around has been kinda life changing#it seems so silly. to put so much weight on just 'hey youre not here but i wanted to tell you this'#but i genuinely mean it when i say that i didnt think id ever have it. that i thought it was asking too much to expect people to remember#i exist when im not actively forcing my presence on them. but she makes it feel like the easiest thing in the world to do#and it makes me want to believe that i deserve that because shes one of the most wonderful people ive ever had the pleasure of knowing#and if /she/ can see that in /me/ then who am i to tell her shes wrong?#i do still worry about so much. i do still think horrible things about myself. those things dont just go away#just because of a little consideration. but i want to see the person she sees. i want to be worthy of the love she shows me#i wish i could tell the person sobbing on their bathroom floor in January about how she doesnt stop. how she manages to be everything#you could possibly want without ever even asking.#i dont want to misrepresent how hard it still is. its not changed. but i think i value myself just a fraction more now#talking to her has also helped my understand myself a lot. introspect on so many things#maybe its not the healthiest take to want to be doing better for somebody elses sake but.#is wanting to do her proud really so bad?
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feyriejane · 9 months ago
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it turns out that I'm not this horrible manipulative person who's angry all the time ive just been told that my entire life whenever I didn't give someone what they wanted.
#more shocking revelations to come as i finally put REAL effort into processing my trauma#my parents love to talk about how awful i was as a kid#how i was manipulative angry and violent and i never thought of anyone but myself#and i genuinely believed that because no one ever told me any different#i believed that i needed to work hard and sacrifice as much as i can for the people i love in order to make up for them enduring me#now that ive surrounded myself with kind and gentle people#im not angry all the time#disagreements are conversations and even if they get a little emotional sometimes we're not fighting#looking back i don't think its a coincidence that those same insults were hurled towards me when i decided to end a friendship#at the time i took it as proof that my parents and my ex were right#i WAS that horrible person and it didn't matter what i did i could never make up for that#it caused me to relapse into self harm after it had been YEARS since id done that#but ive since come to realize that the actual common denominator in all of the situations where ive been called those things#is when i wasn't doing what the person saying them wanted me to#these were words said to hurt me#to get me to either give in and give them what they wanted or punish myself on their behalf#coming to that conclusion has made a world of difference#this shit is still hard and im still carrying these beliefs about myself around with me#but every day it gets easier to put those down and recognize who i REALLY am#and who i really am is pretty great#personal#self harm mention#tw self harm#tw child abuse#self harm#child abuse#child abuse mention#wanted to cover all my bases with tws#though i don't really expect anyone else to actually read all my tags lol
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note-boom · 2 years ago
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Thinking about all the women I ship dazai with while You shake and shit and cry. ❤️❤️
I'm -
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Anon, please, I love you.
But also, wrong blog. Do you not understand how annoyingly I've tag spammed other posts "i dont do ships buuuut..."?
Wait wait wait wait....i just realised after typing in my tags but - but WHAT women?? There's only like....4 viable women to ship Dazai with in this manga....what women??
#i was just going to block but i realised i wanted to frame my very first anon hate#its like am i a popular blog enough for this? do i deserve such a rite of passage?#especially when im not really active lately...but ah screw it#anyway more anon hates WILL be blocked this was for my personal pleasure#it was relatively tame but sorry to anyone who is uncomfortable seeing this stuff#but yeah. i guess ive been invited to openly ramble about why i don't do ships but kinda still find it fun#i mean theres a lot of reasons why fandom shipping doesnt really vibe well with me#but mostly its just that i enjoy looking at things in a way that the author has obviously presented itself to us#like you hear a LOT about...political/economic/queer/racial and so on subtext a lot#and i find that fascinating to employ as an exercise (and in turn find it really cool when others do that for their ships)#buuuuut im in fandoms to have fun and shipping is interesting to see and yeah even fun to do#and you know its not really about looking at stuff as presented by canon#but au-ing in a similar but opposite direction?#in the end i guess you could say im indifferent to shipping but simultaneously find it really interesting#no big reason that i want to share now that i think about it#but anyway that said please dont inflict dazai on women. so many ladies have tried to kill him because of it#anyway i dont think this would be complete without the....#i dont ship stuff but this us fun!! >:DDD#spitting nonsense#we spat nonsense together anon <3#and reiterating warning that any other anons like this'll be blocked
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boys-and-such · 1 year ago
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sometimes i mayhaps would like a boyfriend
#so here is my life rn im going to explain using letters representing people instead of their names bc there are two people w the same name#a and b are dating and c and d are dating then band d cheat on their respective partners w each other and a and c want to date and they#find out abt the cheating so they all start dating - b c and d are in a play that i am in along with e and f#e and f are also dating - f is one of the only other trans people in the cast so we talked a lot and he said he thought he only liked girls#and was thinking about breaking up with e because he is also a trans guy#one day we were going home from rehearsal and f left then e and i were watching b c and d say bye to each other all loveydovey#and e said he wanted that and i said yeah me too and he mumbled something i couldn't hear and i was like 'yeah' bc i couldn't tell and he#said 'join me!' and held out his hand and i took it and boom we were holding hands (his skin was very soft in case you're wondering) and we#shared phone numbers and said that's like how he started dating f and i was like oh interesting and we left and i realised he was asking me#to date him and i was like okay free bf! two free bf! then he texted me and said f didn't want me in their relationship and oh. no free bfs#and then flash forward i was in the friend group with a b c and d and i made friends with a super controlling guy who didn't want me to be#friends w the friend group and only him and was all 'if you're friends w them that means you don't like me' and we were friends w benefits#so i ditched that friend group for him and he was mean to them and wanted me to be like that too so i was kinda rude to them#flash forward again i finally left the toxic guy wow i have no friends now i was in 1st yr high school but e was in last year middle school#i didnt talk to him much bc i was focused on school stuff and now this year e is in first year of hs and im in the second year and he's#hanging out w the old friend group and I noticed him even before i knew who he was and i was like oh that person seems really cool hm#wonder who he is hes friends with old friend group how interesting OH that is e he looks different but he looks cute and now i kinda want#to text him bc he's in one of my lunches and he was in student council on friday and we looked at each other and i waved hi but he didn't#wave back and now im worried hes heard that im mean bc the old friend group but i still like him bc we were really good friends but also#ive been thinking about what might have happened if we did start dating and i really want to text him but i only have him on snapchat bc id#what happened to his phone number but i don't have it anymore#i really want to talk to him but snapchat gives me anxiety and idk what he thinks of me now#but i really want to talk to him!!!!!#help#what#should#i#do#does looking at him count as flirting#zen is gay :]
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bxdtime-ceai · 1 year ago
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i consistently ask myself why am i still here? i came to korea two years ago because it was the most straightforward way to escape the community that hurts me. there have been many positives, like amazing healthcare, great food, friendly people, sights to see that are conveniently located close to me, etc.
but despite them all, there have also been many negatives, namely the unwillingness to take me seriously, the abhorrent working conditions (different by industry but being a teacher anywhere is not fun), the loneliness of having all your friends move away after a year, the difficulty of making long-term korean friends, the occasional drunk men swearing and calling me a crazy bitch in a public place, the casual xenophobia inherent in korean nationalism, the coworkers who tell me "he's not korean!!!" and "that happened to you in korea??" when i tell them about my shitty boss at the shittier job that i left, that shitty boss who refused to let me leave the workplace unless i signed a document giving up my vacation days, the shitty employers who peek into our health documents which are only supposed to go to immigration, the fact that we even have to take a medical test and be 'all-clear' to even be eligible for a visa, the overwhelming amount of discretion given to doctors when they assess the data we give them, the overwhelming amount of discretion given to immigration authorities who can blacklist you for being fired from your job, the fucking lack of work-life balance
why am i still here? why have i not left? truly i don't have anywhere else to go but it's not like i'm living in paradise. i'll never make enough here to afford my own place, i'll always be relying on my employer to provide me an apartment. and having your housing tied to your work is so stressful and a perfect way to keep you from complaining about other things like vacation days, overtime pay and sick leave. i dont even get the 1 hour break per day that i'm legally entitled to
why am i still here!!!!!!!! i wanted to go back to school. i wanted to study immigration and refugee law. my time here has made it clear that i should actually be studying labour law, so that's what i want to do. but do i even want to do it anymore? i've barely made enough to pay off 2/3 of my (not even very big) student loans and then i'll be broke again, how will i even save up to go back to school? take more student loans and then have enough debt to disqualify me from renewing my visa in the future? what's the fucking point.
i don't know why i've stayed here or why i haven't left, but i know it's not because i'm happy
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mikumadds · 2 years ago
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guys im curious do u track your periods or just guess when they might come? like do yall use apps or use a calender or something? open to all genders & body types of course! (just to be sure i want to mention this includes trans men, trans women, nonbinary, intersex, etc btw!)
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aquapolis · 1 year ago
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this adhd med isn’t nearly strong enough if i’ve got it in me to write an intense breakdown on why pearl should be the protagonist of the next ace attorney game that’s never coming
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mrfoox · 1 year ago
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Uh. Like month... 4... Without an big breakdown and im 😳 what.... Wha
#miranda talking shit#I always say this but holy shit what the fuck i didnt think medication could have so much impact#I thought be being numb would be the best case. But here i am like 👍 life's not so bleak. I have loved ones. There's more for me to see#Like what the fuck.... Ive been sucidal since i was 11... I thought that would just be permanent for me... That it would kill me one day#But here i am just.... Like...living?#I mean im still not living life to the fullest mainly bc im still not used to just ... Be and not feel like garbage#I still have many problems and inner battles but they don't .... Send me into the abyss or worse#Anti medication people can probably argue if im ACTUALLY happy or just high of my meds or something but i...#I just feel like myself but ...kinda like when you put on glasses after being without them for a while#You see things clearer again and you had forgotten that your eyes were bad#I see the same things who would make me smile for 1 second. Now i see them and they make me smile for half a minute or more#I feel i think a lot more and notice smaller things. Smaller delights. A little cute bug flying by. An pretty flower outside. Someone#Laughing with their friend. A child playing outside. They all make me happy now and i just ... Yeah.#I am not the most positive person alive or am super happy all the time... But having actual ... Normal days#Actually be just... Just fine. Not 'i have managed to not cry and kept my mental health in check somewhat etc' but actually just#Things are fine. On an scale more in tune with others version if fine. Im used to my okay days just being like... Oh i was awake today#I ate a meal today. I didn't cry. But i still had my usual bad mental space but it was fine bc it was a bit more manageable#That was a fine day. Now I'm like... Id describe my days now as great days. I usually have one or two of these days#Per year ... Now i have them like daily... Theyre just fine. It blows my mind...#Ive always been positive to medication despite not finding one that helped me as much as i... Wanted. But now it's like#Holy shit yeah. Wish i found this medicine at age 15 when i started and not 10 years later but man im glad i finally found it#So glad i decided not to just settle with the one i had. When i brought up i wanted to try new medication again#Doctors were like what... But why? And it's like.... Yeah that one i had was.... The best i had found at the time and i had kept it for 3#Years. But it did only help me to stabilize some. I still felt like garbage... And explaining that to a doctor is like... Idk how to do that#Like id say my old medication helped 25% i know it helped mostly with my general anxiety. But it wasn't like to a point i felt#It was a GOOD medication for me. Just ... It was the best i had tried so... It was fine...
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bitegore · 2 years ago
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Idk why but the art of wildrider in the stupid shirt makes me want to shove him against a wall and french kiss him. Immaculate.
fantastic. ive wanted to do that for about six weeks now
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can't wait to get home so i can fucking EAT
#i hateeeeeee traveling with my dad he doesn't fucking eat like a normal person so i don't get enough to eat either#like dude!!!!!! i'm sorry but one pancake and a few hashbrowns and a single slice of pizza is not fucking enough for an entire day!!!!!!#and he has the fucking audacity to get all bitchy when i'm like hey do we have any food in the car#this man brings in a fucking whole bell pepper like that's even reminiscent of a semi filling meal and acts so pissy when i don't want it#he's like oh my god i can't make you rice right now and i literally did not ask him to? like i fucking know that?? but he gets so annoyed#like i'm personally fucking slighting him by being hungry#after barely eating today!!!!!!! and he was all weird about breakfast too#WHICH i might add#we had at fucking two o clock! and i was starving and pissed about that and then he was all critiquing my food choices like his ass isn't#drinking already with his eggs like oh my god and then being like 'is that all?' he starts on 'you'd better finish your food after all that#like IVE been unreasonable by wanting to have food within the first FIVE HOURS of being awake like fuck OFFFFFFFF#ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i get mean when i'm really hungry i just want to go home and sleep in my own bed and eat my own food that i make in my#kitchen when i want it#instead of subsisting off fucking granola bars and restaurant food where there's barely something i can eat half the time#and he has the gall to act like HES the one who's really suffering from my dietary restrictions when half of its his fault anyways#kiwifae says shit#ugh i want to go out to the car and see what i can find but i know his paranoid ass is gonna act like i'm gonna get kidnapped if i'm alone#for five goddamn seconds#vent#fuck it i'm going out cuz it's that or eating the bag of candy in my tote that i really don't want and will make me feel like shit
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girlthativealwaysbeen · 4 months ago
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jealousy is such an ugly emotion but oh my god am i filled with it
#should never open insta always stupid people saying stupid things#there was this girl in a reel she was like are you really bestfriends if you don't get jealous when they hangout with someone else#ans outside you're wishing them ooh have fun and inside you're like woah traitor how dare you hangout with anyone other than me#and i was like. wait. that's crazy. i don't feel that with my bestie. BUT I DO#recently she blew me off like thrice to hang out with her cousin because they started bonding new new and now ive been avoiding her...#i shouldn't it is wrong but when she asked to hang i wanted to say mujhse kyu puch rahi hai ja na uske saath karle hang#like helloooo she used to say im her favorite her number 1 friend and now what im supposed to share that title?? no fucking way#but you see the thing is she broke up with her now ex few months ago because he was clingy and crazy jealous#soooo i don't want to be like that too so im just avoiding her. which is. actually kinda stupid because she might think i don't care about#her and leave anyway😭😭#why am i such a jealous person??? insecurity?? i was thinking if im jealous in all relationships and i was like oh fuck#i get internally sooo mad at my sister when she picks mom over me😭#like even now she sent me text asking what i want for rakhi and here i was being upset that she didn't tell me first about moving abroad#help i feel so guilty but i can't stop this feeling 🧍god knows ive tried 💀#i think. i just want. just like one person who puts me first you know just one person who wants to tell me something first#mann my parents have given me a real fucking variety of issues to work with haven't they 😤🙄#FUCK BEING THE MIDDLE CHILD
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drysauce · 5 months ago
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another evening another instance of me helping other people instead of doing stuff i have to do for tomorrow hhhh
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alchemiclee · 8 months ago
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I hate when people who have never put any effort into drawing or art tell me i'm gifted/talented at it. they often say things like "I wish I could draw/I can't even draw a straight line/I always wanted to but was never good at it"
nearly 30 years of practice and hard work with nothing to show for it is not being gifted or talented! i've always felt this way no matter what age I was
I especially think this when I see artists younger than me who have more success. they're more likely "talented" or i'd be as good and successful as them, right? be better at art than I am now with less practice and work? if I was so "talented" i'd be way better at art by now and have some kind of success, right? be able to quickly and effortlessly produce beautiful work?
I feel like art is an absolute struggle every time I do it. it doesn't come "naturally" or effortlessly. it takes me forever to finish even a simple sketch. I struggle the entire time. it's so hard. someone "talented" probably wouldn't feel this way and say art is easy. the difference between me and being "talented" is I work hard and still struggle.
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