#I don't want to be that person now who says that IVE BEEN SAYING that she needs to do the projects earlier instead of going who knows where

[kitthefoxkin]

1) i consider myself otherkin, otherlink, and otherhearted. i prefer the term otherkin over therian.

2) red fox otherkin + hearted, ocelot otherkin + hearted, rabbitkin (copingkin/copinglink), canine cladokin (copingkin/copinglink), grey fox otherhearted, North American River otter funlink, and questioning many others! >:3c

3) yes! i experience consistent physical shifts of phantom ears, tail, muzzle, paws, fur, and fangs. typically, they're of my red fox kintype. i experience behavioral shifts often, but especially when under stress. my strangest cameo shift was actually way before I knew I was otherkin and im not quite sure what it was! i experienced large phantom horns and a long, thin tail with a furred tuft at the end.

4) for me, its just something in the background. its a fact of life. i still do everything the same as before I found out that im otherkin, im just a fox now. sometimes I'll be doing chores or doing my hobbies and remember, so I go step outside for a minute to appease my animal 'types. i experience species dysphoria sometimes, but it's been much less severe in recent months. overall it's just a fact of life for me.

5) i think the community is wonderful!! especially on Tumblr. there's some discourse and negativity, but compared to other alterhuman spaces, Tumblr is by far the best place to be imo. i have a hard time sometimes with misinformed critters on apps like tiktok, but i know that they're just not informed properly and they aren't malicious.

6) wearing gear and being referred to as an animal in any way makes me so euphoric! my friends/partner will call me a fox sometimes and it just makes me so happy. wearing my tail also makes me really happy, especially when I see it wag on my shadow. i hope to get a boingy tail sometime soon for extra wags :33 i also really enjoy acting as my kintypes whenever im alone. i have a strong sense of paranoia when trying to express my alterhumanity due to my location, but when im just alone in my bedroom i can finally let go. its so freeing.

7) im not experiencing species dysphoria at the moment, but I do on occasion. like I said earlier, its not nearly as bad as it used to be (almost constant). i think just being able to put a label on myself and say that i am an animal helps relieve some of it. when I do feel dysphoric, i spend time in alterhuman spaces online, which helps relieve some of it.

8) don't put too much pressure on yourself. especially on tiktok, there's a lot of pressure to use the right label and figure out your theriotype right away and do quads, and you don't need to do any of that. there's no point in stressing over if you're ACTUALLY a therian or if you're otherhearted, otherlink, etc and worrying about using the wrong label. i promise you, its not that important. you can just be. /pos

9) yes to both! i currently own a taxidermy fox tail, a spiked choker that simulates a collar, a few masks that im working on, and a set of fox ears on the way. i really want professionally made masks, a boingy tail, matching ear/tail sets, a collar with my name, a human muzzle, and more canine-focused gear for my bedroom like blankets and dog bowls. i also would like to make myself a kennel sometime in the future with blankets and pillows, both for my canine 'types and for coping.

10) i believe my alterhumanity stems heavily from trauma and being AUDHD in a neurotypical world. I've always felt disconnected from others, like im just not quite right. there were some i could connect with, but overall I felt and was treated like a "something" rather than a person due to my autistic traits. ive also experienced complex trauma that caused me to feel trapped, in danger, and helpless, which I think led to both my canine and rabbit 'types as a way of coping. my canine kintype is a protector almost, and my rabbit kintype is a self-preservation tactic. they don't bring me distress though!

11) anybeast who wants to participate (⁠.⁠ ⁠❛⁠ ⁠ᴗ⁠ ⁠❛⁠.⁠)

(thank u for the tag!!)

If you are a alterhuman, reblog and answer these questions!

(don't be afraid to write a lot, do what you want ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯)

1/ Which category of alterhumanity do you belong to?

2/ What/who is/are your type(s)? (if you have any)

3/ Do you experience shifts? If so, can you tell us your most common shifts and your strangest cameo shift (if you've ever had a cameo shift)?

4/ How do you experience your alterhumanity in everyday life?

5/ What do you think of the community?

6/ What are the things that make you most comfortable and euphoric in your alterhumanity?

7/ Are you experiencing species dysphoria?

8/ What advice would you like to say to a young alterhuman who has just awakened?

9/ Do you have/want to have gears?

10/ Do you know/have any theories about the origin of your alterhumanity? If so, tell us! (all beliefs are legitimate)

11/ Tag someone/a creature to answer these questions!ㅤᵕ̈

[nikist-4-n]

So you’re saying people don’t deserve forgiveness? It’s so funny but maybe everyone’s morals are different but everyone deserves forgiveness no matter what has been said or done. Now if you choose not to forgive that up to you but forgiveness leaves a bitter heart and will rot away at you. Because no one is perfect but yourself in dodo’s situation say you did all the stuff she did would you not want forgiveness? I don’t think it’d be fair to say you don’t deserve it. But it’s fine you’re young and under developed and still growing and learning

1 So you’re saying people don’t deserve forgiveness? It’s so funny but maybe everyone’s morals are different but everyone deserves forgiveness no matter what has been said or done

Now when did I say that? Sure ( some ) people deserve forgiveness, doesn't mean that we forget. And that memory can easily lead to resentment because ur heart is not at peace. What dodo did she could've easily apologized in the beginning -heck I begged her to- but she ignored me and only when she thought we cut her off she apologizes? That's messed up and if u think that it isn't then I don't know what to say to u. And yh anon we all have different morals, but my morals don't want to forget what she did, just because we can easily forgive others doesn't mean I'll forget what she did.

2 Now if you choose not to forgive that up to you but forgiveness leaves a bitter heart and will rot away at you.

Actually how dare u anon. All my life I've forgiven people and gave 22259 chances but they've still hurt me over and over again (those who saw my close friends stories on Insta will know ). And what u should do is let them go. Because forgiveness and forgetting are two different things. Ive forgiven my boy bestie but I didn't forget all the things he's said to me. And for ur information I told dodo over and over again to apologize but she didn't listen to me and then when she faced the consequences for her behaviour she realised she messed up. And by then it was too late. Sometimes others hurt people too much for them to just accept an apology. Sure we've forgiven people but we didn't forget. And that's where dodo comes in. I've forgiven dodo but I don't want her in my life nor did I forget what she did.

3 Because no one is perfect but yourself in dodo’s situation say you did all the stuff she did would you not want forgiveness?

Ok let's say I did that anon. If something chei did bothered me I would've told her. And if it's something in my personal life I would've taken a break from social media so I don't lash out at people who don't deserve my rage. And if my friends told me my behaviour in the beginning I would've apologized immediately and tried to make things right. What dodo did was ignore me calling her out and lashed out at chei for 2 weeks before we had enough and it was too late. And that's what u should learn anon that stuff that people do/say cause emotional wounds and a simple apology does not cut it at all. That's when we need to cut people off for good.

4 I don’t think it’d be fair to say you don’t deserve it. But it’s fine you’re young and under developed and still growing and learning

Yes it would because some things just don't deserve a simple apology. Dodo acted mean and ignored chei for weeks and just accepted us to take her back?? No because she showed us that she does not like chei. We don't just dislike people for no reason, there has to be a reason and if it is not stated we're gonna go with that answer. And how does ur age justify ur behaviour? Sure ur maturity is low but ur not dumb to realise what u are doing. She was actively being mean to chei, she knew it hurt her and that's why she did it. And also chei is literally younger than dodo but didn't act like that. She's sensitive and could've taken her insults to heart but instead she kept quiet and tried to protect her, you anon. Because we all know it's u dodo hiding behind anon so let me say this: please get out of my inbox and stop trying to defend urself, ur explanations just fall flat. Sure u have points ( barely ) but ur arguments fall flat and are ignorant and close minded. I'm tired of having to explain why ur wrong, it's just getting boring and annoying having to type so much.

Please let me know what u disagree with in the comments I'll love to see different opinions ^^

[k9emote]

And just to add on! I never said my "art" was 100% by me I simply just didn't tell people, hate to say it but ive actually given up on being an artist because of people like you. I've commissioned and gave you money, and your friends money for art yet you still want to complain about me using somthing almost 4 months ago now to help me put food on the table. What you don't seem to understand is ain't nobody gonna tell you their entire life on the internet. You have no idea what a person could be going through yet you still sent your server of over 3000 people after a 15 year old girl who was just trying to enjoy creating something.

To say that I was "suicide baiting" is crazy because when did I EVER mention killing myself.

And one last thing, your sever is a cult. It's also fucking disgusting. A cesspool of brainless children looking for online relationships. You, yourself being included. It's a breeding ground for grooming and such things. You disgust me. The fact I have multiple screenshots of you saying you were "gods favorite lamb" please get a damn life dude. Your mental unwellness actually is a joke. The way you are open about your disgust for fat people is repulsive. You can't blame trauma on everything hope this helps xx

Your words speak for themselves on your character.

I am not disgusted by fat people. My current partner is plus sized. I asked for advice once on our perspective of incredibly unhealthy overweight people, and if feeling sick when seeing them made us a bad person. Our ex was morbidly obese due to her feederism and v0re kink. she bragged about being overweight to us and sexualized it. She wrote fanfics about force feeding us. She fetishized our ED. She roleplayed vore and feederism nightly behind our back with strangers while we were sleeping in vc together. We are working on untainting the mark she left on us, and that process is not for you to discredit or spread rumors about.

I'm not giving you consequences. I am protecting people and safespaces by alerting them of your repeated abusive behavior to keep people safe. The world does not revolve around you. You are receiving NATURAL CONSEQUENCES for being an ABUSIVE LIAR. No matter your age.

Drop the guilt tripping. Tracing over AI you were generating for art trades was not putting money on the table. You "never said the art was 100% yours", are you fucking serious? Your story of being the victim grows every time you speak. You being 15 does not mean you get to do whatever you want and expect nothing but pity. We tried to help. Us and our mods were there for you to vent to even after you admitted to shit talking us in the past. You did this to yourself.

Blacking out your entire profile and sending cryptid goodbyes to my entire staff team, even people you had never spoken to, is suicide baiting. When we blocked you on our main you found our ALT and sent the same short goodbye message. That comes off strongly as implying suicide.

For the love of god I'm not harassing you I'm just not letting you spit on my name using baseless rumors because you're upset you got caught. What the fuck did you think would happen?

I sent NO ONE after you and I am near COMPLETELY confident you have not been harassed. I have said over and over again to not harass you when I put out info on you to ban for members safety. That is NOT harassment. Your victim complex is insane.

Also. My server is not a "cult" and saying that to a survivors face is repulsive. It isn't a word to throw around and you make me sick. Please leave me alone. Stop messaging me. Stop threatening me. Stop lying about me. It will not make people feel bad for you. It will not make you feel better.

[otterloreart]

I am going to use this opportunity to infodump about my ideal g4 pony, but please know i mean this respectfully and im not just trying to be contrary, but this post comes back every once in a while and I've wanted to add to it for a while, especially since I've gotten more g4 toys myself

The funko pop vinyl MLP figures are accurate on a technical level... from a specific perspective, in their display poses and from their display direction.

They can't be show accurate in 3D because the animation of MLP:FIM breaks the rules of perspective a ton, especially in the face. They are "fake it til you make it"-ing the 3D perspective by making it look nice from one angle- which is my problem with like 75% of the original line of MLP:FIM toys anyways.

...and in addition to not having any poes, in my opinion most of their expressions look very blank. (maybe thats just because i hate the funko brand so much tho lol)

I really dislike the very literal interpretation of the MLP:fim style. It's best exemplified by this pinkie pie funko:

ive heard a lot of people give the original blind bag pinkie pie shit for looking "not show accurate" but to me, this is at least an actual interpretation of curly hair, not balloons:

Personally, I prefer to aim for a toy that doesn't follow a super literal interpretation of the show and because I'm more fond of the older sculpts I am interested in sculpting more detail into them, not less.

That's why I gave Twilight a more pronounced chin/separation between the chin and muzzle, a slightly larger body, and indents for the eyes-

IIRC none of the toys I could find even had indents for the eyes, which like, to me is just a sign of lazy manufacturing. If you don't have eye indents you don't have to line up the eye screening (which is why my Candace toy has messed up eyes... sigh)

Some of the later toys actually did get slightly larger muzzles and more dynamic poses, which I would have preferred, but I think their eyes look way too goofy on their perfectly round faces:

I do think the average Tempest looks better because of her large, more sculpted muzzle; I also generally prefer the Princesses because they have more detail too!

The pose in g1 MLP terms just refers to the mold, and I am particularly fond of them because the pose gave each pony more personality rather than just standing there:

(Mimic Pose, which is what i based this Twilight off of)

I never liked the g4 poseable figures because I think their... "shoulder" and "knee" joints look way too wrong. On any other horse toy you can see why: that "shoulder" joint is technically two joints, the shoulder and elbow, while the middle one is the wrist.

Lauren faust is very good at adapting horse anatomy to a cartoon, its just the top of the shoulder doesn't appear in most 2D visuals- like in the original My Little Ponies, it blends in with the body

but the toy designer appears to have looked at the 2D visuals instead of considering how a horse looks, which to me produces. extremely ugly ponies. just my opinion, as someone who looks at too many horses, and horse toys. the animation and the 2D style can break the rules of physics, but breaking it too often leaves the result a jumbled mess.

now, is it presumptuous for me, a person who has been 3D modeling for a scant 2 years and has no professional experience or formal education to speak of, to say i think that a massive company full of talented designers did a poor job at interpreting this childrens toy? hm.

well in retrospect I would change the hoof and face to look more like the above (with the spiral horn, its just late and i dont feel like fixing it), and i would have the hair styled straight but i still think mines better

nobody tell my twilight sparkles, they'll feel worse than they already do.

My dream gen4 my little pony toy

The discourse has long since passed on this since MLP Gen 4 has been out for years, and now they have the g5 toys which are even worse, but anyways.

I think its a real shame they didn't make the g4 pony toys have like... any poses.

Lauren Faust has such a dynamic artstyle and I understand how it was hard to make into 3D but I refuse to believe this was the best they could do:

When theyre posed they have ugly little tube legs and no elbow. I think lauren fausts artstyle works with horses because she actually tool the time to look at horse anatomy and make it unique and stylized but these look so bad and not even very dynamic when they do do the poses but usually they dont do any poses at all.

[ihfmseatsoch]

ok ok ok so if i may be so bold as to request something, ive been enamored wiht the idea of an older, controlling, borderline abuse boyfriend jimmy, like he and reader live together on earth, and reader goes to college, while jimmy works physical jobs trying to support them both. he's a SHITTY person though, so hes jealous of any man the reader talks to, reads through their phone, makes sinde comments about their weight and appearance, and (im totally not projecting here) eventually pressures them into dropping out, for like his perfect little live in partner/gf fantasy sjdhasd feel free to do whatever with this, but this specific scenario has not left my head for days

WHEEE this was fun to write ^w^ i rushed this a bit but i just didnt want you to have to wait any longer... :p

—

Jimmy Zare x fem!reader

reader uses fem terms (girl, girlfriend)

genre: how do i categorize this.... fic that makes you feel bad or horny depending on how you handle verbal abuse lol

word count: 1.8k

warnings/content: age gap, domestic abuse, manipulation, arguing, fat shaming, several references to the readers body/appearance, jimmy being the biggest asshole oh my god i hate him (i want him so bad it makes me look stupid)

(is it bad that writing about jimmy yelling at me turns me on... WOAHHH who said that .....😰 also dont kill me for the weight shaming part IM A FAT GIRL !!!!!! i like when evil men are mean to me !!!!!! RAAAH)

—

"He's a good guy, he can actually be really sweet!"

That's a sentence you find yourself saying out of complete muscle memory at this point whenever someone questions why your boyfriend–... well, they question an awful lot about your boyfriend.

For example, why he's over twenty years your senior whilst you're still going to class on the weekdays. Why he doesn't allow you to see your friends, wear certain clothes, leave your apartment without him, and why he takes up so much space in your brain, completely distracting you from your own life and goals.

You've missed at least four assignments this semester alone. It's stupid, really. You thought you'd be done with obsessing and crying over boys after you graduated highschool. It's completely immature for a so-called adult like yourself, but then again, you're hardly into adulthood at all.

Jimmy, on the other hand, has a lot more life experience, many of those experiences negative. That might be why you've taken some form of pity on him, going so far as to move into his apartment so you can take care of him when you're not busy. He needs someone to make sure he doesn't fall off the deep end.

The thing is, it's become hard to fit him in your schedule, but whenever you're unable to make time for him after he comes home from work, that familiar scowl on his face indicating it was another shitty day, he throws a fit.

He'll accuse you of everything under the sun; Infidelity being the primary thing.

"You don't love me. There's someone else, isn't there? It's that one kid that asked you to help him 'study' last week, isn't it? No? Give me your fucking phone, then."

This is what you come home to everyday, so it's nothing new. In fact, you're pretty used to it by now. Though today, Jimmy seems particularly pissed.

"Where have you been?" He crosses his arms and leans against the wall, eyeing you up and down like he always does when he's about to grill you on something.

"Sorry..." You mutter, way too tired to deal with one of his moods again. "Traffic." You answer simply, not having enough energy to overexplain yourself like you normally do.

"Uh huh. Traffic." He mimics you in a way that already tells you he's not buying it. Great.

"...It's the truth." You shrink into yourself at the way he's looking at you. Contemptuous as always. You're in for another argument, it seems. A million, desperate pleas run through your mind;

'Please don't give me another lecture about how you're my only financial support, and how grateful I should be. Please don't ask to see my phone. Please don't tell me to drop out.'

But, of course, you can't actually change the outcome of this. You're gonna get yelled at. Belittled. Degraded.

"You're two hours late, and you're gonna tell me you were just stuck in traffic?" He pushes himself off the wall and walks towards you.

"You're never home when you're supposed to be, and when you are home, you're all tired and upset.” He pokes a finger into your shoulder, hard. "What do you think that looks like from my point of view?"

"I'm sorry." You rub your face, exasperated. God, you wish he would shut up sometimes. Sure, he can be amicable, but lately... he's been a raging dick. Yet, you can't help but cling to the memory of his good moments. "I'll try to make it back on time tomorrow."

"Yeah? And how many times have I heard that before?" He sneers, "You're hiding something from me, aren't you?"

The way he accuses you so confidently, so sure of himself... it's insulting. Does he really think that little of you? "College has been kicking my ass, Jim. You know that. I'm not hiding anything from you, okay?"

"Yeah, yeah, college this, college that. Always complaining about fuckin' college," He scoffs, his eyes stay narrowed, still glaring. "How about what I'm going through? You think I'm having a great time every day at work, hm?"

"No, I–" You stammer, hating the way he's turning this around to make himself the victim. Oh, woe is him, having to provide for himself and his girlfriend. How tortured he is. "I know, alright? I'm sorry. I just– what else do you expect me to do?"

"Be here. Like you're supposed to be. And I expect you to stop acting like I'm the bad guy for asking you to be a decent girlfriend."

Jimmy's voice raises slightly as he takes a step closer, towering over your sheepish figure. He nudges your shoulder again, even rougher this time.

"I'm busting my ass every day to put food on the table, and you can't even have the decency to show up on time, let alone look happy to see me?"

"I– I am happy to see you! I am, I'm just– you don't get it. I want to be here, but... I'm not even halfway through this semester, and–" You stumble over your words as you attempt, in vain, to defend yourself. It's not like he'll ever feel sympathy for you. It's always about what he wants. What makes him happy.

Jimmy rolls his eyes at your attempt to reason with him. It's as if he doesn't even register a word you say. "But what? What's more important to you, huh? Some stupid classes, or the guy who keeps a fuckin' roof over your head and feeds you? Be grateful, goddamn it." He snaps, grabbing your arms and giving them a forceful shake.

You flinch from being handled like you're not even a human being, much less one with feelings. "Stop, please, I'm– I am grateful, I really am..." You're not lying, either. To be honest, his guilt tripping works wonders on you. Are you really acting unappreciative? He wouldn't be this upset if you were in the right...

He seems unfazed by your frightened demeanor and continues to hold a firm grip on your arms. He looks you up and down, not even having to say anything for you to know he's judging you, as a girlfriend and person in general.

"Oh, you're grateful? Then maybe you should act like it for once." Jimmy gives your arms another firm shake, a harsh reminder of who's in charge here.

"I'm not asking much of you. I just want you to be here, and you can't even do that. Do you think I'm just gonna sit back and accept that bullshit?"

"No..." You shake your head, looking down at the ground in shame. Were you really that awful? You didn't want to be a bad partner, it's the last thing you ever wanted. If you could make eye contact without feeling guilty, you'd see Jimmy's face light up with satisfaction as he finally notices you're not even bothering to put up a fight anymore.

There's a condescending lilt to his tone as he speaks, "No one will ever love you like I do. You know that?"

You nod, knowing there has to be some truth to his claim. He takes care of you, doesn't he? He keeps a roof over your head, gives you money for groceries, and he's not always that unpleasant to be around...

He's a good boyfriend. You're the problem. You always are.

"Exactly."

The grip on your arms eases, moving them to place a hand on each of your shoulders, contrastingly gentle compared to his behavior only moments ago.

"You oughta thank your lucky stars you have a man like me who puts up with all your bullshit. You get that, right? How lucky you are to be with me?"

You know he's right. You were blessed with someone who still loves you, despite your many shortcomings. You're too fat, the acne on your face and body is repulsive, the way you do your makeup is weird... all of this being things Jimmy has told you directly. At least you have an honest boyfriend, isn't that what every girl wants?

He gives your shoulder a pat, like he's treating you like a small, petulant child. "You realize I could have literally any girl I want, right? Pretty, skinny, smart ones, even. But I chose you. Because I care about you."

He pauses, letting that sink in.

"But it would help if you'd actually put the effort in to look decent." He adds as an afterthought.

You've internalized every single snide remark he's thrown your way, reminded of them every single time you look in the mirror. Yet he still loves someone like you. Someone so difficult and embarrassing to be with.

"Jim, I don't... I don't know how I'm even gonna be able to free my schedule at all with school and stuff..." You mumble guiltily. You know he wants you to drop out, he's suggested it more times than you can count.

"That right there, that's why I'm frustrated, goddamn it," He says with an exacerbated sigh. He moves one hand from your shoulder to pinch the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Why don't you get it? Dropping out isn't the end of the world. Just quit and stay home. Done. Easy."

"It's not that easy... I want to get a good job and help out too, you know..."

It's true that you want to pull your weight around your shared home. With your combined income, it'd make everything easier. But... with how shitty college makes you feel, leaving you beaten down and tired by the end of the day...

You find yourself listening to Jimmy on this for once.

He can tell you're seriously contemplating it this time, which makes him feel... more in control. He's got you thinking and believing exactly what he wants you to. Soon, he'll be able to get you to obey him without another word from you.

The thought of having you as his subservient, stay at home girlfriend is more than appealing. It's his goal to mold you into what he wants you to be.

"Yeah, yeah, I get that, I know. But you're stressing yourself half to death, and for what? Some stupid degree? Listen to me, I'm not gonna ask you again. You're just creating problems that don't need to exist. Just quit. You'll have plenty of free time that you can spend with me."

You can't deny how tempting the idea is. Hesitantly, after several moments of pondering the hypotheticals and what-ifs, you speak up,

"...I guess... dropping out wouldn't hurt too much."

He perks up at that, barely being able to contain a delighted grin. You're actually putting him and his wants first, and acknowledging that he's right. You're doing as he says, without any of the usual arguing or excuses. He'll finally have his dream complaisant, docile girlfriend to come home to every night.

It only took a month or two to finally get you to cave. You'll be easier to control from now on. Hell, maybe you'll lose some weight with some free time on your hands, stop wearing that shitty makeup...

"Good girl," He says in a patronizing tone, like he's addressing a child, "That's what wanna hear."

God, you really hope this isn't a bad idea. Jimmy looks pleased for once, so...

This decision can't possibly ruin your future too badly, right?

—

[girlivealwaysbean]

it's not sinking in that today might be the last day in my house and town for many months to come

[ookaookaooka]

ive been worrying a lot lately (mostly pointlessly) about how can i believe anything anyone says is accurate if there's no such thing as an objective view of the world (like... in theory the world exists objectively, but every time we see and describe it we're only describing our interpretation of it no matter how objective we try to be, and sometimes our perspective can be really flawed without us realizing, like when i was 5 and everyone said my bike was tiny but i literally couldn't see the difference in size between my bike and theirs until i was older and had a bigger bike)

and the thing that gave me the most comfort weirdly was that beauty is something that is always 100% subjective. so if i think something is beautiful, it really is 100% for sure beautiful because i think it is. and for someone else that thing could be ugly or meaningless but that's okay because beauty is subjective.

[godtears]

I really hate that ever since I got the fucked up news about my eyes I've just been feeling like everyone in my life fucking hates me and doesn't want to be around me. So I'm starting to get a little quieter around other people. I guess they got what they wanted, I finally figured out how to shut the fuck up.

[arsenicflame]

i do think being unconditionally loved is an experience that can be so so healing actually. it cant ever fix anything alone but to feel loved and valued and considered is something that makes carrying burdens just that little bit easier. to trust that youre someone they think about when youre not around, because they tell you. to feel like youre someone important to them because they tell you. to feel safe in knowing youre not being too intense, too annoying, too much, because everything you offer is offered right back without a seconds hesitation. this isnt something i ever thought id get to have, but i found it when i wasnt even looking. and no, it still isnt easy. it doesn't change most things. but it gives you a reason to try.

[feyriejane]

it turns out that I'm not this horrible manipulative person who's angry all the time ive just been told that my entire life whenever I didn't give someone what they wanted.

[note-boom]

Thinking about all the women I ship dazai with while You shake and shit and cry. ❤️❤️

I'm -

Anon, please, I love you.

But also, wrong blog. Do you not understand how annoyingly I've tag spammed other posts "i dont do ships buuuut..."?

Wait wait wait wait....i just realised after typing in my tags but - but WHAT women?? There's only like....4 viable women to ship Dazai with in this manga....what women??

[boys-and-such]

sometimes i mayhaps would like a boyfriend

[bxdtime-ceai]

i consistently ask myself why am i still here? i came to korea two years ago because it was the most straightforward way to escape the community that hurts me. there have been many positives, like amazing healthcare, great food, friendly people, sights to see that are conveniently located close to me, etc.

but despite them all, there have also been many negatives, namely the unwillingness to take me seriously, the abhorrent working conditions (different by industry but being a teacher anywhere is not fun), the loneliness of having all your friends move away after a year, the difficulty of making long-term korean friends, the occasional drunk men swearing and calling me a crazy bitch in a public place, the casual xenophobia inherent in korean nationalism, the coworkers who tell me "he's not korean!!!" and "that happened to you in korea??" when i tell them about my shitty boss at the shittier job that i left, that shitty boss who refused to let me leave the workplace unless i signed a document giving up my vacation days, the shitty employers who peek into our health documents which are only supposed to go to immigration, the fact that we even have to take a medical test and be 'all-clear' to even be eligible for a visa, the overwhelming amount of discretion given to doctors when they assess the data we give them, the overwhelming amount of discretion given to immigration authorities who can blacklist you for being fired from your job, the fucking lack of work-life balance

why am i still here? why have i not left? truly i don't have anywhere else to go but it's not like i'm living in paradise. i'll never make enough here to afford my own place, i'll always be relying on my employer to provide me an apartment. and having your housing tied to your work is so stressful and a perfect way to keep you from complaining about other things like vacation days, overtime pay and sick leave. i dont even get the 1 hour break per day that i'm legally entitled to

why am i still here!!!!!!!! i wanted to go back to school. i wanted to study immigration and refugee law. my time here has made it clear that i should actually be studying labour law, so that's what i want to do. but do i even want to do it anymore? i've barely made enough to pay off 2/3 of my (not even very big) student loans and then i'll be broke again, how will i even save up to go back to school? take more student loans and then have enough debt to disqualify me from renewing my visa in the future? what's the fucking point.

i don't know why i've stayed here or why i haven't left, but i know it's not because i'm happy

[aquapolis]

this adhd med isn’t nearly strong enough if i’ve got it in me to write an intense breakdown on why pearl should be the protagonist of the next ace attorney game that’s never coming

[mrfoox]

Uh. Like month... 4... Without an big breakdown and im 😳 what.... Wha

[falling-hand-in-unlovable-hand]

can't wait to get home so i can fucking EAT