#I don't thirst for him but I believe in the beliefs of those who do. good taste.
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copper-skulls · 19 days ago
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i am not immune to underfell grillby. I mean, have you seen the color scheme? AND he can threaten a fucker that threates the peace of his kingdom (bar)
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dearweirdme · 6 months ago
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https://www.tumblr.com/dearweirdme/756624824076468224/there-are-some-places-i-hope-to-never-be-and-one
Couldn’t we say the same thing about Jimin though? Wasn’t he the one who said his favourite thing was waking up to Jungkook? He’s the one who also sat infront of Tae and Jk and said Jk spends almost all his time in his room and he is the same one who has constantly taken his face right infront of Jk’s like he was going to kiss him on the mouth with Tae sitting right there, why do you think he would do things like this if Taekook were together and how would Tae have felt about those things? Jimin has done and said way more suggestive things about himself and Jk than Tae has ever done and that is one of the reasons why some tkkrs hate him so much because they believed he was being a bad friend to Tae. Y’all are just witnessing Jimin in his quiet phase. You needed to hear the things he constantly said and did prior to 2021 because if he was still the way he used to before, it would have been a bloodbath between these two ships because while we have tae dropping bombs, we would have had Jimin dropping even bigger ones lol.
Jk too has done a few things with Jimin that wouldn’t make sense for him to do if he was dating Tae, like that naked bed Live he did inviting himself to shower at Jimin’s place, (if you think Jimin should have a problem with Tae’s captions if he was with Jk then how do you think Tae should feel about Jk openly asking Jimin to let him come over and shower infront of 5 million fans?) or when he made that “thirst trap” birthday video for Jimin (many people interpreted it as one), or him making a blatant sexual innuendo Joke with Jimin on ITS “Do you want ramen? ” This is a conversation I probably shouldn’t be in because I personally don’t think the boys are dating each other but I think this logic works both ways and that is mainly the reason why we have jkkrs hating on Tae and tkkrs hating on Jimin because they feel like Vmin are crossing lines.
Hi @causeilikescience !
Posting this ask in good faith and trusting you are actually neutral in this.. please don't go crazy on me.. I just went through that with another blog last week 🙈.
I'm sure that when you are someone who doesn't believe any of the guys are dating all shipping fandoms look the same. I'm well aware that while I am answering this ask right now, most will look at my answer and say 'she's a Tkkr, she's delusional and not give my words any actual thought. And to be honest, most of my beliefs do stem from how I interpret Tae and Jk's interactions and the way their body's speak. My thoughts on that should not actually matter, because I am a stranger on the internet 😂.
I think for me, the biggest difference between how Tkkrs think and how Jkkrs think is that Jkkrs believe a queer couple from the same band are being allowed so much openness. I mean, Jk and Jm are not limited in their interactions at all. We can beat around the bush, but Jk and Jm are the main focus of Bh when it comes to BTS. They are made use of hugely. That does not undermine that their friendship is real (it's making use of your biggest strenghts really) but it does undermine that they are in a relationship, in my opinion. I do not believe that BH (a SK company) would treat an in band couple the way they treat Jm and JK.
I understand why Jkkrs believe though, at least.. to a certain point. The moments they use, like Rosebowl, like hickey gate, like those times Jm comes close to Jk's face and acting like he's about to kiss him.. those look sus when you isolate them BUt, when you look beyond those isolated moments, you know that that is exactly what they are. Jm has those moments with Hobi and Tae as well for instance. Probably not as often, because Hobi doesn't entertain it as much and Tae actually gets Jm flustered when he goes that way. Jk and Jm though have the same type of banter... they are.. matched in that way I think. They aren't actually flirting, they are play-flirting. And these are my words ofcourse and no-one will value those, because I'm a Taekooker, but I do think that that's what it is. Maybe because you are neutral, you recognize that that's what it is also. I don't see anything actually sus between Jm and Jk. I think everything they do fit easily in the realm of friendship. A friendship that has a lot of banter and is definitely deep, but a platonic friendship nevertheless. I never feel the need to downplay anything Jm and Jk do, because it just is what it is and I love that for them.
Tae and Jk is a whole different story though. And admittingly, you do have to believe in things being hidden and lies having been told. You have to believe that there are ugly parts to their story. I don't even really want to believe those parts, because they are hurtfull and they mean that Tae and Jk (and all members by association) have gone through shit. There will have been many tears and fights, and feelings of shame and insecurity. That's not something I want for them, but I do feel that has been a part of their lives. I think there is no way that a company like BH would allow a queer couple from the same band to freely interact. I think BH would have come up with a way to keep the band from being in a potential scandal. They had big plans for BTS (which they accomplished) and the risk of queer allegations becoming too strong would have been too high in the eyes of those who call the shots. What I see between Tae and Jk fits how I feel a queer idol couple would be treated in SK music industry. It does set us as a fandom up for misunderstandings though, it can't actually be any other way. So our thoughts willl always be hunches and never about having actual proof. A closeted couple can't give us proof. What we do have, is a ton of patterns and a ton of repetitive behavior. It's the shear amount of consistent bahavior that makes us feel strongly about them being together. You can only understand this, if you look into that amount.. it is simply not possible to understand this if you don't. Me explaining this with all the words I have will never do the actual situation justice. So basically this whole ask is just me ranting without actually being able to convey the realness of Takook 😂.
I think many people don't actually realize the amount of times Jk and Tae are holding back movements, and biting away smiles, or are holding back jealousy. It's something Tkkrs know, because we pay attention. It's not something we invent, the moments are there and people can just look them up. You will not find that between any other pairing within BTS. Another thing is that many people also don't realize how much Tae and Jk actually move towards each other. After 2016 they weren't the focus of footage much anymore, so people are quick to miss it. But in the background, when other members are the focus.. they gravitate to each other. Again, not something we make up.. it is all in the footage, people just don't notice.
Without wanting to open this up to Jm hate (and I'm gonna elaborate.. don't worry😁), I think Tae did have a problem with Jk and Jm at times. This is what I mean with the nasty parts that come with this. It's not all pretty, and it probably affected the other members too. It was pretty obvious actually at times. Rolling his eyes and whatnot. I'll do you one better. Jk also had a problem with Tae and other members at times, we can clearly see him annoyed at times when Tae was close with someone else. They were fickle about it though, there's times when they didn't care and there were times when it probably just hit differently. People are fickle in their reactions though. Different situations make for differnt reactions, that are influenced by many different factors. The reason why I don't blame Jm for this is that Jm did nothing wrong. On top of that, Tae, Jk and Jm know each other so much better than that fandom knows them. When Jm and Jk make a joke about ramen in front of Tae, Tae knows how to read that. When Jm goes to flirt with Tae, Jk knows how to read that. These men know each other, they know what each other's intentions are. Tae knows that Jm isn't trying to steal Jk from him.
I'm fully convinced that vminkook had conversations about the shipping wars. I think I see an adjustment in how they deal with it. It is clear to me, that Jm is aware of Tae and Jk. I think these three obviously chose to not let fandom shenanigans stand in the way of them interacting. While Tae was annoyed at Jkk moments at times, he cares about Jk and Jm too much to want them to adjust the way they interact. I can't speak for Jkkrs on this.. but I'd hope it's the same for them.
Comparing Tkk and Jkk is not something that I actually do when consuming BTS content. I know I've done it on here, because I literally get asked to do it 😂. But Jkk isn't a factor for me. Jm is their best friend. Obviously he plays a role in their lives, but I don't go and think.. wait Jm did this with Jk how does that affect Tae? I'm sure Jkkrs want to do the same, but yet everytime one of them comes here they hit me with the comparisons. I do wish that things were different. I think this is very unpleasant for Jm, Jk and Tae. Those men love each other to bits and I think large parts of fandom make it really hard for them to keep loving us.
Well, I'm sure this has been hugely unsatisfactory and I made no difference in your understanding of Tkk fandom😂 . I'm also a very small part in all this, I'm fully aware that there is madness going on everywhere.. Tkkrs are not excluded from that at all.
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dreamsoffantasty · 1 year ago
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━━ ❀         𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐒𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐎𝐅 𝐓𝐑𝐔𝐓𝐇 𝐍𝐎𝐕𝐄𝐋 𝐐𝐔𝐎𝐓𝐄𝐒 by 𝕿𝖊𝖗𝖗𝖞 𝕲𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖐𝖎𝖓𝖉         ❀ ( contains various quotes from the novel series. some of these quotes are long, please keep in mind. feel free to change the pronouns as you see fit  !  )      
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❛ People are stupid; given proper motivation, almost anyone will believe almost anything. Because people are stupid, they will believe a lie because they want to believe it's true, or because they're afraid it might be true. Peoples' heads are full of knowledge, facts and beliefs, and most of it is false, yet they think it all true. People are stupid; they can only rarely tell the difference between a lie and the truth, and yet they are confident they can, and so are all the easier to fool. ❜
❛ The greatest harm can result from the best intentions. ❜
❛ Passion rules reason. ❜
❛ Mind what people do, not only what they say, for deeds will betray a lie. ❜
❛ The only sovereign you can allow to rule you is reason. The first law of reason is this: what exists, exists, what is, is and from this irreducible bedrock principle, all knowledge is built. It is the foundation from which life is embraced. ❜
❛ Life is the future, not the past. The past can teach us, through experience, how to accomplish things in the future, comfort us with cherished memories, and provide the foundation of what has already been accomplished. But only the future holds life. To live in the past is to embrace what is dead. To live life to its fullest, each day must be created anew. As rational, thinking beings, we must use our intellect, not a blind devotion to what has come before, to make rational choices. ❜
❛ Willfully turning aside from the truth is treason to one's self. ❜
❛ Knowledge is earned not given. ❜
❛ You can destroy those who speak the truth, but you cannot destroy the truth itself. ❜
❛ There have always been those who hate, and there always will be. ❜
❛ In this world, everyone must die. None of us has any choice in that. Our choice is how we wish to live. ❜
❛ Trouble sires three children. ❜
❛ Nothing marks a ( man / woman )'s character better than ( his / her / their ) attraction to intelligence. ❜
❛ Nothing is ever easy. ❜
❛ There is no such thing as pure good or pure evil, least of all in people. In the best of us there are thoughts or deeds that are wicked, and in the worst of us, at least some virtue. An adversary is not one who does loathsome acts for their own sake. He always has a reason that to him is justification. My cat eats mice. Does that make him bad? I don't think so, and the cat doesn't think so, but I would bet the mice have a different opinion. ❜
❛ When you are out numbered, and the situation is hopeless, you have no option--you must attack. ❜
❛ Fate does not seek our consent. ❜
❛ Don't shed tears for those already in the ground, until after you have brought vengeance to those who put them there. There will be time enough, then.. ❜
❛ Don't worry about what might be…Worry about what is ❜
❛ One must observe before one acts, or more harm than help can be the result. ❜
❛ Sometimes, in madness resides genius. ❜
❛ If the road is easy, you're likely going the wrong way. ❜
❛ Everything is valuable under the right conditions. To a man dying of thirst, water be more precious than gold. To a drowning man, water be of little worth and great trouble. ❜
❛ Cut. Once committed to fight, Cut. Everything else is secondary. Cut. That is your duty, your purpose, your hunger. There is no rule more important, no commitment that overrides this one. Cut. ❜
❛ Everyone makes mistakes. How a person deals with their mistakes is a mark of their character ❜
❛ If we all knew each other's secrets, it would prove a very strange world. Besides, it would take all the fun out of the telling of them. But I fear no secret of a person I trust, and ( he / she / they ) has no need to fear mine. It is part of being friends ❜
❛ Reality is irrelevant; Perception is everything. ❜
❛ Dance with me, Death. I am ready. ❜
❛ I am the bringer of death, I have named myself so ❜
❛ Blade, be true this day. ❜
❛ I will remember only that I loved ( him / her / them ), and could never tell him. ❜
❛ ( muse name ), is a pebble in the pond - an individual at the center of so many things. ( He / She / They ) touches so many things. ( He / She / They ) has turned out to be a core element in all our lives. Everything turns on what ( he / she / they ) does, on the decisions he makes. If ( he / she / they ) takes a wrong step, we all fall down. ❜
❛ We'll fix it. Together. Always together. ❜
❛ I'm not here to smile and look pretty for the men, General ❜
❛ If someone is trying to stick a knife in your back, closing your eyes does not make you safe. ❜
❛ A place this big must have something to eat…. ❜
❛ I dislike riddles. They leave too much room for misinterpretation. ❜
❛ If you get yourself killed trying to rule the world, I will personally break every bone in your body. ❜
❛ Be proud you made right choices, ( muse name ) , the choices that allowed to happen what came about, but do not call arrogance to your heart by believing that all that happened was your doing. ❜
❛ Hesitation can be the end of you…..or those you care about. ❜
❛ Hurry up and torture me before I fall asleep and miss it. ❜
❛ You actually read the reports ? ❜
❛ You want to be healed, now? Or would you prefer to bleed to death so I can try my hand at resurrection ? ❜
❛ For a dragon, it is better to die than be ruled ❜
❛ There is magic in forgiveness. In the forgiveness you grant, and in the forgiveness you receive ❜
❛ Only a fool walks into the future backward. ❜
❛ Do you know, ( muse name ), that it's the weight of one flake of snow that is one too many, and causes an avalanche ? Without that one, last flake, the catastrophe would not happen. When using magic, you must know which is the one snowflake too many before you add its weight. The avalanche will be out of all proportion to what you think the weight of that flake could invoke. ❜
❛ It does the sheep no good to preach the goodness of a diet of grass, if the wolves are of a different mind. ❜
❛ Once lucky, twice confident, and thrice dead ❜
❛ I wish people had half the honor of dragons. ❜
❛ You could die this day, so you should strive to do your best while you still lived ❜
❛ Don't lay a cloak of guilt around my shoulders because others are evil. ❜
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scentedchildnacho · 5 months ago
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Zara chowdhary violence between Hindus and Muslims.....the Baha'i center told me if I have extreme aversions to Hindus practice like veganism or fasting or any type of self restriction that the northern Irish wars and migrant jails between white protestantism and European Catholicism is more what I experience
I notice it is more populated Muslim areas like Milwaukee Wisconsin in its corporate function with Chicago and Sikhism and any type of vegan spirit is evil and has to be excorcised
They believe in science and victorian dogma is insanity
If I was around the Hindus in San Diego...they to me appear to be fading like any religion and fill their function obligatorily....but don't ask for a lot of importance ..
If it's Hindus I around the hare Krishna center was very frightened of helicopters though if it's Arizona to Mogadishu the type of gq ultimate terrorist with his helicopter frightens me
If it's Muslims if it's British Pakistan if your going to be a creepy wants to be paranoid with pound cost of living to dollars earned just get away from me
If it's British Pakistan and their buy it just get away from me
Inflated jobs and voodoo.....if your going to inflate wages just to get paranoid get away from me
If it's Indian Muslims or Afghanistan Muslims if their suppose to bring me aspects of the international company I cannot do they do do that
British Pakistan......tells me they have understood my modernity as in absentia i.a.....but never delivers any required product adjustment or lesson...
The Hindus I think are more indigenous then Indian because they will follow take care of treaties to militant related issues my birth fathers friends were Vietnam veterans and I don't know that under those p.o.w. agreement sanctions
Poor white people should have obligations to reform and take care of the criminal aspects of life....I think the Hindus about reform explain to me to understand many wardens as finally who was good to them they were Hindus
You can't really find information on European concentrations and the Jewish myth that exists without western indoctrination unless it's Hindus
Food not bombs is really commercialized
Ikea...that's bad decisions though
I think there was a lot of muslim vanity that they are who truly believes in all the semitisms...that they believe in Jews and Christ and Muhammed....so I think it's actually a Hindus temple site because it's Hindus that truly does believe in Jews like Jesus
White protestantism...this is new and the old restrictions are not necessary...so if I'm around Catholicism it's those people will still stand and kneel in practice just to cure a pain that is already cured immediately by belief
You need to believe that Jesus saves you through faith no matter what Jesus loves you
And you don't have to read and write you can go to mother God right now
And I was told that was bad and that I have to do penance to strict good actions to accomplish better and now I feel like a snobby prude
Tough love from Catholic government I don't appreciate neck injuries to the little lambs or myself
Heshmat personal chef.....or hash brown...she kept calling him hash brown...
When it comes to infectious disease I am frightened of criminals that have been detained so long that they may spread something in reckoning
And that's if you meet alternate indie characters that need to be taken care of the Hindus can save us not Muslims
There is apparently some allegation the Muslim influance in northern areas could legislate preventatively and was in some way incapable or negligent....
I couldn't make it to the Muslim mosque in Temecula California because there were these construction blockades....
But the Afghanistan business aspects showed me simple remedies in cognitive science to free me from Jewish types that defect in ways to nazism and admit blood thirst
If it's them paranormal attacks are best remedied by where I come from and habits I have always known to do....
Hair not hair...why does it matter....
The vampire lady at the Jewish respite wanted me to believe in men in black all around me....and I find that metaphor about the vermis part of the brain and desires to gas me as a rodent
If it's business around Muslims it's very different cognitive points on my head that are a lot more important to my dental health and parasympathetic function
So I would say they do believe in Jesus though and hidden files on concentrated Jews
No if I was attacked at community meals by very bad addicts the church produces football.....and I blame my uncle the Greek ..
Its my uncles....that are veterans and they could have organized a long time to exercise more trade social control over male conduct that will traitor to idi amin like dictatorship and wouldn't do anything
Its been my whole life that the church does not take any responsibility about wanting to enlist males for sport ability not social conscience
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lindajenni · 1 year ago
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jan 13 (part 2)
OSAS or being saved
God is, "not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance." 2 pet 3:9  but just as He will not force anyone to believe, He will not force anyone to stay where they choose not to.  we are not predestined to be saved or not.  one can choose to leave the faith and many have.  "by which also you are saved, if you hold fast that word which i preached to you — unless you believed in vain." 1 cor 15:2 i would not dare take grace for granted and live licentiously, feeling confident that i was always saved.  it's just too easy to say one was never saved if they leave the faith when they may have come as sincerely as you or i did in the beginning. how then could anyone ever be really sure of salvation when sin continues in our lives?  faith, my friend.  God's word is full of scriptures proclaiming, "if you will, then I will."  cling to Jesus, keep pushing down on sin and pulling up by grace, and God's got us covered; the blood is sufficient.  and as long as He still chastens and convicts me, i know i am still His child.  "not that i have already attained, or am already perfected; but i press on, that i may lay hold of that for which Christ Jesus has also laid hold of me." phil 3:12  the upward call of Christ is ever my goal. "for which of you, intending to build a tower, does not sit down first and count the cost, whether he has enough to finish it." luke 14:28  repentance and turning is only the start of the race.  hold the confession, "i have fought the good fight, i have finished the race, i have kept the faith.  finally, there is laid up for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will give to me on that day, and not to me only but also to all who have loved His appearing." 2 tim 4:7-8  be sure we finish the race.  our Lord described all in luke with the parable about the sower.  "but the ones on the rock are those who, when they hear, receive the word with joy; and these have no root, who believe for a while and in time of temptation fall away." luke 8:13  these are believers falling away.  take root and let fruit be evident, in it's season, in your life.  let us be cautious but confident of the gift given. these are my beliefs as i search the scriptures.  certainly i could be wrong in my beliefs, but at least i have taken time and effort to search out scriptures i can use to justify what i believe.  how much time have you taken to confirm your beliefs, or are you just satisfied in relying on what someone else has told you?  if you take your eternal salvation that lightly, perhaps you should be checking whether you are one who has believed in vain. i pray that it not be a matter of dissension among the brethren.  let each be confident in their own mind.  "but if someone believes it is wrong, then for that person it is wrong." rom 14:4 nlt  search for yourselves, and "work out your own salvation with fear and trembling." phil 2:12  everything is not a salvation issue, but don't be wrong in your rightness or your carelessness.  let the Holy Spirit be your guide. "and the Spirit and the bride say, “come!”  and let him who hears say, “come!”  and let him who thirsts come.  whoever desires, let him take the water of life freely." rev 22:17 for those of you who would like to listen to david pawson's teaching on this, you may do so here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hG-zaJXv5D0&list=WL&index=75
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onigirintarou · 3 years ago
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Ed Sheeran songs that describe how HQ boys love you
Ft. the Miyas, Suna, Sakusa, Iwaizumi, Oikawa, Bokuto, Ushijima, Kuroo
Tenerife Sea – Miya Atsumu
And should this be the last thing I see. I want you to know it’s enough for me. Cuz all that you are is all that I’ll ever need.
We are surrounded by all of these lies and people who talk too much. You’ve got the kind of look in your eyes as if no one knows anything but us.
Congratulations to this menace because Tenerife Sea is my fav Ed Sheeran song.
I am a firm believer that Miya Atsumu loves hard and he loves loud.
His social media posts consist of volleyball pics, the occasional thirst trap, Onigiri Miya content, and of course, you. The captions are always cheesy but he doesn't care. People who have the audacity to talk poorly about you are immediately on his shit list and blocked.
If he could make a PSA to tell the world that he's yours, he would.
How would you feel if I told you I loved you? It’s just something that I want to do. I’m taking my time, spending my life, falling deeper in love with you.
How Would You Feel? - Miya Osamu
Our favourite Onigiri chef isn't the biggest fan of expressing his emotions through words
He fumbles and often finds himself sticking his foot in his mouth especially when it comes to you
Instead, he shows his love for you through his actions. 
He wakes up before you do even on days where he doesn't have to open his restaurant until hours after you leave, just to make you breakfast. 
He takes the time to separate peas from your fried rice because he knows that you hate their texture (they end up on his plate because Osamu does not waste food). 
He has a soft grasp on your elbow when you're walking together which changes to a firmer grasp at intersections so that you stop and don't inadvertently walk into traffic.
You know that he loves you, but when he actually says it???
*404 Error* you forgot to say it back because you were in too much shock
Photograph – Suna Rintarou
We keep this love in a photograph. We made these memories for ourselves.
Suna has an album on his phone dedicated to you
He'll take what he calls "candid photos" which to you means that he's got his phone out and thumb already on the button when you slip up and do something silly, which, when you're around him is often
Those are his fav pics though - pics of you blearily wiping the sleep from your eyes, pics of you smiling down at the rudimentary latte art he drew in your mug (it was a dick!), even pics of you glaring at him and giving him the finger hold a special place in his heart.
Kiss Me – Sakusa Kiyoomi
I was made to keep your body warm. But I’m cold as the wind blows, so hold me in your arms.
Contrary to popular belief, Sakusa loves physical affection, only if it comes from you
Man is so in love with you that he'll indulge in some PDA to his teammates' complete shock and awe - "Did ya see Sakusa pull his mask down to give Y/N a kiss?" R.I.P. Tsumu
All of the Stars – Iwaizumi Hajime
You’re on the other side as the skyline splits in two. Miles away from seeing you. But I can see the stars from America. I wonder do you see them too?
Both of our hearts believe, all of these stars will guide us home.
Iwa canonically (maybe??? lol) goes to California to intern under Ushijima's dad
You cannot tell me that he doesn't fall either 1) have someone waiting for him in Japan or 2) leave someone waiting for him in California
The Joker and the Queen – Oikawa Tooru
I showed you my hand and you still let me win. And who was I to say that this was meant to be? The road that was broken brought us together.
And I know you could fall for a thousand kings... when I fold, you see the best in me.
the ANGST
most of the angst stems from Oikawa's belief that he isn't enough for you
he'll push you away and make you believe that you aren't enough for him
we stan a king with both an inferiority AND superiority complex
when you FINALLY FINALLY get together though, words cannot describe how grateful he is that you took a chance on him
Lay It All On Me – Bokuto Kotaro
No, you don’t have to keep it under lock and key ‘cause I will never let you down. And if you can’t escape all your uncertainties baby I can show you how.
Let my love in, lay your heart on me.
Bokuto is a firm believer in letting you feel your feels
My guy is emotionally intelligent and incredibly perceptive to your emotions.
Give Me Love – Ushijima Wakatoshi
Give me love like her ‘cause lately I’ve been waking up alone.
And it’s been a while but I still feel the same. Maybe I should let you go.
All I want is the taste that your lips allow.
the ANGST PART TWO
Ushijima strikes me as the kind of guy to not know what he has until it's slipping through his fingertips
But the utter desperation that he feels once he realizes!!!
Wake Me Up – Kuroo Tetsurou
‘Cause maybe you’re loveable... And you should never cut your hair ‘cause I love the way you flick it off your shoulder.
And now I’ve always been shit at computer games because your brother always beats me.
And you will never know just how beautiful you are to me. But maybe I’m just in love when you wake me up.
Kuroo X Kenma's sister supremacy
Idek if Kenma has a sister lol but I look at Kuroo and get massive best friend's brother feels
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kimhargreeves · 3 years ago
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Pleasure and Pain-Edward Nashton x Reader (smut)
Summary: You find yourself being kidnapped by the Riddler. Things turn from deadly to something unexpected.
(Warnings: This is smut so there will be mentions of abuse, implied rape, degradation,dacryphilia, overstimulation, choking,etc. Here's for all of your thirsting for the Riddler but haven't found a single smut one shot yet, you are all welcome!!)
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I had been knocked out. The last thing I remember was walking down the Gotham streets leaving the iceberg lounge. It's wasn't a great place for a lonely woman to be but I had be there, work is work no matter how dangerous things may get. I absolutely despise working there for Falcone and Cobblepot, but I have bills to pay, not only that but I am planning to leave this city for good.I had been knocked out. The last thing I remember was walking down the Gotham streets leaving the iceberg lounge. It's wasn't a great place for a lonely woman to be but I had be there, work is work no matter how dangerous things may get. I absolutely despise working there for Falcone and Cobblepot, but I have bills to pay, not only that but I am planning to leave this city for good.
There's been enough damage done so the best thing I can do is leave this awful destroyed many of us have called home.
But now here I am tied up to a chair with tape over my mouth and with no place to escape. I tried moving my hands but they were too tied up, I had a knife with me for self defense but that wasn't on me anymore.
"You're awake." A deep male voice spoke throughout the room I was in.
The room was dark and i found many torture devices on either a wall or placed on a table nearby. I looked around and began to get scared at the things, my palms began to get sweaty and my legs were shaking.
"Looking for this?" The man evilly chuckled clearly showing a psychotic side. He held my small pocket knife in his hands when he came around me and took the tape off me.
This man is The Riddler. I recognized his mask and attire due to the many live streams he's been uploading, needless to say there's already a huge group supporting his beliefs.
I scoffed and began to laugh at him. "Do you really think you can scare me? Are you going to ask me one of your little riddles and let me go?"
Truth be told I was extremely scared, I believed in Gotham for years and never once had I faced the killer before me. Worst thing is this guy isn't fooling around, he's the one who killed the mayor and two policemen.
A hard slap landed on my cheek making me feel a stinging pain. I've received harsher treatments, I shouldn't let this knock me down. "How does it feel being the one tied down."
I ignored his words and looked back at him. "What do you want from me. Money?"
Riddler grabbed my hair and held me tight in his grip. "I want you to suffer the same way I did. No one is saving you this time." He ended with another laughter.
He really is a psychotic man. I tried pushing him away from me but that clearly failed. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
"You're going to die soon so I might as well just refresh your memory."
Riddler softly spoke and showed made me turn my head to the left, on the wall many pictures were plastered, want to come my attention one with the little boy with glasses in the choir. That's one of the orphan kids back then at Wayne orphanage.
The quiet boy who barely spoke to anyone, fascinated with riddles and puzzles. It all made sense now, "Edward Nashton.. you're that little boy."
"Who's not so little anymore." He sang and laughed right after. "Don't you just love living the past? All the fond childhood memories we all shared."
Him kidnapping me now makes sense. I wasn't orphan I felt lonely growing up, so the only way I felt satisfaction with myself was taking advantage and bullying those weaker than me. A group and I back then at the orphanage used to bully Edward.
We didn't have much going on back then so we did whatever we could not bore ourselves. What we did back then was horrible.
I looked over at Edward and deeply regretted harming him the way I did back then. "Words can't describe what I did to you, Ed."
"You don't have the right to call me that not after what you all did!" He snapped and began taking off his mask.
"I had many countless nights because of you. I dreamed of the day where you would be the one getting punished instead of me. And now it's all going according as planned." He giggled and had a sadistic smile on his face.
"What I'm about to do to use worse than what those fools had to go through. I remember over hearing that there's one thing you were afraid to lose."
One thing afraid to lose? My blood ran cold, but no he wouldn't do that now would he??
Edward made his way back to me and held my chin. "How does the saying go? You always harm the ones you love. You used to bully me every day, which must've meant that you liked me." He sang the last part.
"And I know you are secretly enjoying this, being all tied up and helpless." I pressed my legs together and felt ashamed because he was right. I did like Edward back then but I was a bitch to everyone.
"No more lies, (Y/N), or you'll end up like the mayor." I had chills imagining the horror the mayor must've felt..but I was also feeling excited...
"Stand up!" He loudly said making me stand up right when he untied my legs. I flinched when I felt his gloved hand across my stomach, he held the pocket I had and started to cut off my clothes soon leaving me all bare, I felt a rush of embarrassment and excitement.
He began dragging me further in the apartment until we made it to a room until he ordered me to sit
I did as he said, and sat on the edge of the bed, waiting obediently. “Lie back, hands above your head.” A shiver went through my spine at his dominance and proceeded to lie on my back.
Edward stood above me another wicked smirk across his lips. “Look at you. Such a little whore all tied up for me. Not even a fight. You just let me do whatever I want.”
I felt my cheeks heating up, I should be embarrassed at myself for enjoying being taken advantage of. "You really think I'm enjoying this?" I made it seem like I wasn't interested, that i wanted this to be over
Placing a knee between my legs, he leaned back and harshly grabbed my the face, “You'll see."
Edward crawled his way up and placed his lips over mine, his tongue wasting no time exploring my mouth. He straddled me and I felt him running his hands up and down my torso, his calloused fingertips rough against my soft skin. 
His lips soon left mine and his teeth raked along down my neck, biting every so often. “Fuck." I breathed out, getting lost in his touch. He hasn't done anything yet, yet I am already losing.
He leaned back onto his knees, my legs trapped beneath him. Unexpectedly, his hand came down to strike one of my breast, “Shit!” I hissed and felt a rush of excitement down my legs.
I winced and tried to move away when another smack came upon the other breast, before he reached down with both hands and cupped your breasts in palms, rubbing them, “You look so beautiful. All tied up, helpless, completely at my mercy like I wanted." Edward whispered in my ear, “Your make me so fucking hard.” 
Slowly Edward crawled his way back down and threw one of my legs over his shoulder, “My, my, look at you, you’re dripping and I've barely started anything."
Edward hooked his arm around my leg and used it to gain better access to my core. I looked and bit my lip. This is really happening.
"Oh my God." I bit my lips hard when he used a thumb to tease my clit, my eyes then shut tight when I felt him licking a long stripe up my slit. I gripped onto the covers below and moaned out loud he only started getting rougher.
I noticed a small grin plastered on his face. Both my hands gripped his hair tightly when I felt myself getting closer. He flicked and sucked, his tongue flattened as he licked a wet stripe from my clit to my opening, pushing his tongue inside of me.
My head fell back and I began to pant hard. The sounds coming from Ed as he sucked me were dirty, the moans and slurps began to drive me closer to the edge.
"I'm close!" I cried out and squeezed my legs when I arched, slowly, he entered a single finger inside my entrance and moved it just barely, teasing you as he continued assaulting my clit. 
Before I could come Edward removed himself from me I glared up at him and felt my punching him for leaving me like this. "You can't leave me like this you bastard." I shut my mouth when Ed wrapped a hand on my neck.
"Someone sure sounds ungrateful."
"I'm sorry..sir." I blushed hard when I said those three letters.
Edward suddenly added another finger and started ramming them into me. The familiar sensation returned getting tighter.“Fuck, fuck, I’m gonna cum!” I cried out, wrists raw from pulling on the tight rope I still had on. I cried out loudly when he continued fingering me until I came over his face, his glasses becoming wet.
This didn't stop him though, Edward flipped me onto my stomach and crawled up on the bed. I caught myself onto the headboard, hands gripping the wood tightly when I felt Edward behind me, surely he got himself rid of his clothes. He grabbed my waist and rubbed the head of his cock against my folds. He entered me slowly, feeling my walls stretch around him as he did. “You feel so fucking good."
Ed grabbed my hips roughly and pulled them back to meet his hips as he slammed into me. “Fuck, Ed!” my head fell forward, knuckles turning white as my grip tightened. 
His hand struck my ass, a red mark forming immediately on it, he reached his other hand around my front and gripped your throat, using it as leverage to pull me back against his chest. His fingers tightened around my throat as he thrusted hard into me.  
“You feel so good sir.” I moaned and tears began forming in my eyes. My legs began to shake as he reached down and rubbed fast circles on my clit. “Oh my god!"
Edward laughed behind me crazily and leaned close to my ear. “You wanna cum?” He asked, his cock twitching inside of me. My makeup was already ruined and running down your my cheeks.
Even though he knew I was on the edge, Ed continued to rub my clit faster this time applying more pressure, falling over the edge as he felt my walls clench around him in a desperate attempt to keep from cumming. He kept going hard and fast, his seed filling me and dripping out every time he pulled out. 
I squeezed my eyes shut and finally came around him. Without a word, Edward pulled out and flipped me over, ruining my orgasm for a moment until his fingers re-entered me. He thrusted them upward into my g-spot as fast as he could. The assault on the most sensitive spot quickly became too much and I tried to writhe away from him, “Agh! Okay stop!” I cried out, trying to wiggle his hands out of me.
Edward smiled to himself snd shook his head, “You said you wanted to continue cumming.” 
His fingers moved faster and his other hand came to press down on my lower stomach, intensifying the mixture of pleasure and pain. His thumb came down to rub my clit hard making me scream, the pleasure transitioning to pain, “Shit, shit!” 
I felt another sharp slap on my cheek and saw he wasn't satisfied. “We’re not stopping until you cum again.” My breathing was shaky when I came down from your intense high once again.
I continued to pant and try to regain my birthing back. I winced when I felt Edward started to untie me, my wrists were red and bleeding a bit. Edward adjusted his glasses from falling down until I wrapped my arms around him and brought him down to kiss my lips
"You aren't escaping from me again this time." He said with another sadistic smile.
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The resurrection of christ is one of the cornerstone claims of christianity right? Without it Jesus cannot be proclaimed god incarnate or something. And at the same time, you and others argue that the resurrection kind of breaks the meaning of him being sacrificed in the first place right? So no matter whether he was resurrected or not, christianity is down (good). I'm wondering if there is a definitive argument to be built upon this single point, or if there's some outcome that 'makes sense' to christians. I'm not that well versed so I was hoping you might explore this a bit more in depth? Cheers
Unfortunately, I don't think there is one, at least, not one that "makes sense" to Xians.
The bible says a lot of stuff, and there's sufficient contradictory things in there to formulate any excuse you want. For example, Jesus says that if you've seen him, you've seen his father, he forgives sins, which supposedly only the Lord can do, and he is supposedly "the word made flesh," therefore divine. On the other hand he's "the word made flesh" as a mortal man, the Lord "gave his only begotten son," the classic quote from John 3:16, and Jesus now sits on his right hand.
To Xians, this was a sacrifice, Jesus giving up his "life," even though it was predestined from "before the world began." A blood-magic human blood-sacrifice as a scapegoat, but still a "sacrifice."
Of god sacrificing god to god to appease god.
The point of a scapegoat is that it has the wrongdoings of the village cast onto it, and it goes out into the wilderness to die of hunger and thirst, and thus those deeds with it. It requires that the creature actually die, or the magic isn't fulfilled. Xianity combines this with a resurrection for "proof" of divinity, even though "killing" an immortal being cancels this out. And even though none of this is historical anyway.
But Xians are motivated to believe because of what John 3:16 concludes: "whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." They're self-interested in this being "true" because they want to be - and believe themselves to be deserving of being - more than the natural creatures they are ("in the world but not of the world"). They want to believe that they are their god's favored children and will return to their true home. Because they're only visiting this dirty little mudball as a test to be withstood and tolerated, since their god has promised them some place better as a reward for this faith.
Unfortunately, a logical argument simply will not work. At least, not to someone who is not already doubting or starting to question, someone open to whether or not the belief can be regarded as "true."
Their eternal life, their presumptive destiny in their god's celestial kingdom (slave colony), their status as the chosen Elect is at stake with this belief, and those with solid "faith" will simply rationalize away the problem, protecting and defending their faith with more faith. It need not make any sense because "god works in mysterious ways." Once their belief has been successfully defended, they'll feel good, their brain will reward them for protecting the belief, reinforcing it further.
That doesn't mean you should just not bother. At least, I don't think so. Somewhere in there, their rational mind is noticing or recording this. Enough tiny little chips can be taken out of a stone that it will eventually yield a crack. Or someone whose life circumstances cause them to question their belief may start to recall the points non-believers have made along the way. A dozen or more problems with their belief that they previously put away suddenly rematerializing and adding to the religious crisis.
You may be able to reformulate this argument using a non-Xian mythology or even pop-culture franchise that the Xian would acknowledge. For example, if Frodo knew he would simply teleport back to the Shire upon its failure, would the journey to Mordor really be a noble, valorous odyssey? But this would likely be dismissed with something like "that's fiction, someone just wrote that," without any hint of self-awareness.
So, yes, there's a valid argument to be made. But no, a Xian will not acknowledge it as a real flaw in the mythology. You'll be told that you "just don't/can't understand" without giving yourself to god/Christ, or that you haven't read the bible, even if you have.
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trashiewrites · 4 years ago
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The Clueless Bachelor and Bachelorette
(Bruno Bucciarati x Reader)
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An: hey everyone, I know this is very different content then CoD but I do want to extend my reaches to other fandoms! I'll still be writing CoD but I'll also reach to maybe other games and anime. I hope yal all enjoy my first published Jojo Fic.
There a lot of responsibility when being a Capo for Passione. Taking orders from the boss, controlling a specific area. The last thing Bruno expected when to deal with constant female attention.
Ahh yes, at the prime age of 20. Perfect age for once to start looking for a partner. Undoubtedly, upon the bachelor's list was his truly, Bucciarati. He really couldn't deny that he's attractive but to say he comes with perks was an understatement. If one was to look at the list it would be quite easy to see that.
Walking down the busy streets of Naples with Girno was even a chore. Next thing a group of young women will be walking down the street "Bucciarati!" To look over at a groupie and see the one that (in his opinion) wasn't very attractive waving at him. He wishes he could ignore all of it, but he has a reputation to keep.
"Girls really have been after you huh Bucciarati?" Bruno look back to the newbie, his brow frowned in the slightest hint of annoyance.
"Tell me about it Giorno... I don't know what happened but I've been getting called at by women all the time now." In the distance again, hearing his name be called. This time he wasn't even bothered to look, he just waved. "I mean at first the attention was nice but I can barely go outside without a woman trying to seduce me."
"I feel that, the curse of being pretty I guess..." Giorno shrugged, Bruno could only sigh. "Let's head back to the others, at least give you a break from outside."
"That sounds like a splendid idea."
As the two walked in the the cafe the gang usually hangs, they enter to see the three huddled. Huddled against a magazine. "Wow, they really have a lot to say about Bucciarati!" Narancia moved his head closer to the book.
"Hey watch it! I'm trying to read too!" Mista pushed Narancia's head away.
"What are you all reading?"
"Oh hey, boss?" Mista closes the magazine and pulls it behind him.
"Mista! What the hell! I was reading it!" Narancia pulled on Mista's arm, getting up and personal.
"Like hell you are! You probably can barely read dumbass!" Abbacchio sighed as the two were two seconds away to pulling out the stands.
"To answer you Bucciarati, they're reading that new Local Bachelors and Bachelorette magazine."
"And I'm in it?" Bruno whispered to himself, "hand it over you two!" Mista seemed hesitant, it couldn't be that bad right? "Now, Mista" sticky fingers began to appear from over Bucciarati's shoulder. He shoved it into Bruno's hands and stormed off elsewhere. Bruno felt bad but was too intrigued by this magazine mystery to pursue it.
He gently flipped to the pages to reach the number 1 bachelor and "This is worse then I thought..." Giorno peered in, looking from the side. He noticed how much was written exactly. And well the pics were certainly something.
"Bucciarati, do you remember taking those photos? How did they get ahold of them?" The be frank, Bruno was busy reading the almost a thirst essay about himself to even notice the picture.
Giving the pictures a glance he was surprised he recognized them.
"I remember these..."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Sunlight shined softly down the busy Italian streets. Tourist and locals alike enjoying the beauty of the day. Bucciarati took a sip from his glass, "nothing better then a cold glass of wine on a day like this. " he would get the occasional hello from locals he knew as well as glances by curious tourists.
One person, in particular, came up to him. A young women, maybe around her late 20's with a camera around her neck. "Signore, if I may ask. May I take a few photos of you? I'm an artist and I often take pictures of things that inspire me!" To any human being the request would be rather offputting. Indeed it was, at least to Bruno. But a normal person would also decline the offer. Bucciarati didn't see the harm of a few photos, if anything he'd call himself quite photogenic despite his semi-cold demeanor. Plus to deprive an artist of inspiration didn't sit right with him; so he agreed.
~~~~~~~~~
"That artist lied... or she sold my pictures. Either or isn't good, but damn..." Bruno skimmed through the pages. Person after person, some of them he even knew. He stopped on one page and well maybe call it fate but it was the page of the number 1 Bachelorette. Giorno auditable gasped as the sight.
"She's very beautiful... I see why they placed so highly..." Mista and Narancia came from the other side taking peaks.
"Yo, you're right Giorno! She is really beautiful. Father owns a successful flower shop too!" Narancia's cheeks turned slightly red. Mista closed his eyes, humming to himself as if he was fantasizing about something.
"Girl has looks, money, and property. She's a guy's dream girl honestly!" Bruno slammed the magazine closed, proceeding to roll it up. Then uses Sticky Fingers to smack him to the ground. "HEY! WHAT WAS THAT FOR!?"
"How dare you think like that Mista. Loving someone for their 'perks'..." Bucciarati stared down upon Mista, disappointment, and guilt filling Mista's soul.
Bruno just took the magazine and left. He needed time to make sense of all of it... "geeze Mista... nice to know who you really are!" Giorno snickered as he took a seat at a near by table.
"Guys, I wasn't talking of myself!!! Come on, I would never!"
~~~~~
Bruno wondered the town, just processing it all. All this attention wasn't out of the kindness of people's hearts. It was some lousy list that said he had perks... To now have to wonder if he was being used was a terrifying thought.
"Please, let me go... I don't want this at all!" Bruno was returning to reality. Overhearing 2 people talking in the alleyways.
"Oh come on beautiful, I've got a lot to offer!"
"I'm sure you do, but I am not wanting a relationship! Please for away! I don't even know you!" Her hands try to wiggle free but she was what Bruno could assume was pinned.
"Look missy, think about your answer real carefully. If you don't date me ill-"
"You'll what?" Bruno stood firmly at the alley entrance. The man turned to see him, catching a glimpse of the girl as well. (H/c) hair laced with small flowers, (s/t) skin, as well of (e/c) eyes.
"Its none of your business buddy! So how about you leave me and my girlfriend alone!" Bruno continued to walk closer, his expression as blank as he could manage. "H-Hey! I said stay back!"
"You know I find it amusing when scum like you exist in this world. The least you can do is accept the girl has no feelings for you."
"Like you know shit pal!"
"I heard it all, the entire conversation. As well, the fear upon her face right now speaks wonders." Bruno's steps were heavy, each one making a distinct clack.
"I said stay back you bastard!!" He dragged the poor girl by the hair restraining her arms. Sliding a knife from his own pocket, placing it above her throat.
"Sticky Fingers!" The girl closed her eyes as the blue figure hit the man square in the face. Knocking him down the alley. The guy cowards back, confused beyond belief "next time don't try to force yourself upon a harmless girl. Or do I need to beat the lesson into you?"
"No! No no no! I'm sorry I'm sorry! Please spare me!!"
"Then run." The man ran off in a rush, terror riddled his face as the bruises started to solidify. The screams echoed as he ran into the darkness. Bruno turned back the the girl, she stood against the wall paralyzed from fear. "Hey, are you okay? Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. Taking a good look the most harm was some scratches and maybe a few bruises, nothing life-threatening. Bruno tilted his head, she looked familiar.
"Uh.. mister, thank you for your help. I was really scared that guy was gonna hurt me." She clutched to her basket filled with different flowers. She picked out a small white lily from the batch, extending it to him. "Men back and forth have been cat-calling me all day. It's quite overwhelming." Her smile showed a sparkle of pure innocence. Bruno clutched his first, glancing at the magazine he held. It struck him, it was her, the flower shop's daughter.
"I believe I can show you why this is happening. Come with me and we can tend your wounds as well." The girl looked up in admiration. A shy smile as well as heated cheeks. She took his hand as a quiet acceptance. "Pardon my manners, I'm Bruno Bucciarati. It's my pleasure miss?"
"(L/n), (y/n) (l/n). I owe you my life, Signore."
AN: I might make a part 2... not sure
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hieromonkcharbel · 4 years ago
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--Turning my eyes carefully upon myself and watching the course of my inward state, I have verified by experience that I do not love God, that I have no love for my neighbors, that I have no religious belief, and that I am filled with pride and sensuality. All this I actually find in myself as a result of detailed examination of my feelings and conduct, thus:
1. I do not love God. For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about Him with heartfelt joy. Every thought of God would give me gladness and delight. On the contrary, I much more often and much more eagerly think about earthly things, and thinking about God is labor and dryness. If I loved God, then talking with Him in prayer would be my nourishment and delight and would draw me to unbroken communion with Him. But, on the contrary, I not only find no delight in prayer, but even find it an effort. I struggle with reluctance, I am enfeebled by sloth and am ready to occupy myself eagerly with any unimportant trifle, if only it shortens prayer and keeps me from it. My time slips away unnoticed in futile occupations, but when I am occupied with God, when I put myself into His presence, every hour seems like a year. If one person loves another, he thinks of him throughout the day without ceasing, he pictures him to himself, he cares for him, and in all circumstances his beloved friend is never out of his thoughts. But I, throughout the day, scarcely set aside even a single hour in which to sink deep down into meditation upon God, to inflame my heart with love of Him, while I eagerly give up 23 hours as fervent offerings to the idols of my passions. I am forward in talk about frivolous matters and things which degrade the spirit; that gives me pleasure. But in the consideration of God I am dry, bored, and lazy. Even if I am unwillingly drawn by others into spiritual conversation, I try to shift the subject quickly to one which pleases my desires. I am tirelessly curious about novelties, about civic affairs and political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my love of knowledge in science and art, and ways of getting things I want to possess. But the study of the law of God, the knowledge of God and of religion, make little impression on me, and satisfy no hunger of my soul. I regard these things not only as a non-essential occupation for a Christian, but in a casual way as a sort of side-issue with which I should perhaps occupy my spare time, at odd moments. To put it shortly, if love for God is recognized by the keeping of His commandments ("If ye love Me, keep My commandments," says our Lord Jesus Christ), and I not only do not keep them, but even make little attempt to do so, then in absolute truth the conclusion follows that I do not love God. That is what Basil the Great says: "The proof that a man does not love God and His Christ lies in the fact that he does not keep His commandments."
2. I do not love my neighbor either. For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for his sake (according to the gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being, and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I did love him as myself, as the gospel bids, his misfortunes would distress me also, his happiness would bring delight to me too. But, on the contrary, I listen to curious, unhappy stories about my neighbor, and I am not distressed; I remain quite undisturbed or, what is still worse, I find a sort of pleasure in them. Bad conduct on the part of my brother I do not cover up with love, but proclaim abroad with censure. His well-being, honor, and happiness do not delight me as my own, and, as if they were something quite alien to me, give me no feeling of gladness. What is more, they subtly arouse in me feelings of envy or contempt.
3. I have no religious belief. Neither in immortality nor in the gospel. If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this. The very idea of immortality would terrify me and I should lead this life as a foreigner who gets ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity, and I regard the end of this earthly life as the limit of my existence. The secret thought nestles within me: Who knows what happens at death? If I say I believe in immortality, then I am speaking about my mind only, and my heart is far removed from a firm conviction about it. That is openly witnessed to by my conduct and my constant care to satisfy the life of the senses. Were the holy gospel taken into my heart in faith, as the Word of God, I should be continually occupied with it, I should study it, find delight in it, and with deep devotion fix my attention upon it. Wisdom, mercy, and love are hidden in it; it would lead me to happiness, I should find gladness in the study of the law of God day and night. In it I should find nourishment like my daily bread, and my heart would be drawn to the keeping of its laws. Nothing on earth would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if now and again I read or hear the Word of God, yet even so it is only from necessity or from a general love of knowledge, and approaching it without any very close attention I find it dull and uninteresting. I usually come to the end of the reading without any profit, only too ready to change over to secular reading in which I take more pleasure and find new and interesting subjects.
4. I am full of pride and sensual self-love. All my actions confirm this. Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view, or to pride myself upon it before other people or inwardly to admire myself for it. Although I display an outward humility, yet I ascribe it all to my own strength and regard myself as superior to others, or at least no worse than they. If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it; I cover it up by saying, "I am made like that" or "I am not to blame". I get angry with those who do not treat me with respect and consider them unable to appreciate the value of people. I brag about my gifts: my failures in any undertaking I regard as a personal insult. I murmur, and I find pleasure in the unhappiness of my enemies. If I strive after anything good it is for the purpose of winning praise, or spiritual self-indulgence, or earthly consolation. In a word, I continually make an idol of myself and render it uninterrupted service, seeking in all things the pleasures of the senses and nourishment for my sensual passions and lusts.
--Going over all this I see myself as proud, adulterous, unbelieving, without love for God and hating my neighbor. What state could be more sinful? The condition of the spirits of darkness is better than mine. They, although they do not love God, hate men, and live upon pride, yet at least believe and tremble. But I? Can there be a doom more terrible than that which faces me, and what sentence of punishment will be more severe than that upon the careless and foolish life that I recognize in myself?
On reading through this form of confession which the priest gave me I was horrified, and I thought to myself, "Good heavens! What frightful sins there are hidden within me, and up to now I've never noticed them!" The desire to be cleansed from them made me beg this great spiritual father to teach me how to know the causes of all these evils and how to cure them. And he began to instruct me.
"You see, dear brother, the cause of not loving God is want of belief, want of belief is caused by lack of conviction, and the cause of that is failure to seek for holy and true knowledge, indifference to the light of the spirit. In a word, if you don't believe, you can't love; if you are not convinced, you can't believe, and in order to reach conviction you must get a full and exact knowledge of the matter before you. By meditation, by the study of God's Word, and by noting your experience, you must arouse in your soul a thirst and a longing- or, as some call it, 'wonder'- which brings you an insatiable desire to know things more closely and more fully, to go deeper into their nature.
"One spiritual writer speaks of it in this way: 'Love,' he says, 'usually grows with knowledge, and the greater the depth and extent of the knowledge the more love there will be, the more easily the heart will soften and lay itself open to the love of God, as it diligently gazes upon the very fullness and beauty of the divine nature and His unbounded love for men.'
"So now you see that the cause of those sins which you read over is slothfulness in thinking about spiritual things, sloth which stifles the feeling of the need of such thought. If you want to know how to overcome this evil, strive after enlightenment of spirit by every means in your power, attain it by diligent study of the Word of God and of the holy Fathers, by the help of meditation and spiritual counsel, and by the conversation of those who are wise in Christ. Ah, dear brother, how much disaster we meet with just because we are lazy about seeking light for our souls through the word of truth. We do not study God's law day and night, and we do not pray about it diligently and unceasingly. And because of this our inner man is hungry and cold, starved, so that it has no strength to take a bold step forward upon the road of righteousness and salvation! And so, beloved, let us resolve to make use of these methods, and as often as possible fill our minds with thoughts of heavenly things; and love, poured down into our hearts from on high, will burst into flame within us. We will do this together and pray as often as we can, for prayer is the chief and strongest means for our renewal and well-being. We will pray, in the words holy Church teaches us: 'Oh God, make me fit to love Thee now, as I have loved sin in the past'"
The Pilgrim Continues His Way
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faithful-forever · 7 years ago
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I don't know, maybe how different Pentecostal church is from other types you know?
Hmm. I want to point out first that I attend an Indian Pentecostal church, which may be different than other Pentecostal or Charismatic churches around the world. Also, Pentecostal churches share the same basic beliefs like many other denominations, including but not limited to: God is the Trinity of Father, Jesus Christ and Holy Spirit; the Bible is the Word of God; Salvation only comes through belief in Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, rose again, and one day will return for us; and that those who do not repent and believe will be condemned to eternal separation from God. 
I think the obvious difference that most people recognize is the practice of speaking in tongues. Like many other denominations, Pentecostal believers understand that the Holy Spirit comes to live inside them when we accept Jesus as our Savior. However, Jesus also promised in the Bible a baptism in the Holy Spirit, of which the first sign is speaking in tongues. Baptism in the Holy Spirit, or being “filled with the Holy Spirit,“ is really the manifestation of spiritual power inside mature believers to help us do God’s will and share the Gospel with others. Because all believers are called to worship Christ in Spirit (referring to baptism in the Holy Spirit, or tongues) as well as in truth (meaning, knowing who Jesus Christ really is and why we should worship Him), Pentecostals believe that all believers can speak in tongues, if they truly draw near to God and thirst to know Him more. 
Besides that, Pentecostal church doesn’t really have the rituals that certain other churches do. I feel that Indian Pentecostals especially place a huge emphasis on knowing the Bible and living according to the Word, more similar to what is seen in the older Baptist churches, I think, than modern American Charismatic churches. Finally, there’s less of an emphasis on prosperity and more of an emphasis on living by the Spirit -- meaning, living by faith and trusting in God that He will carry out His perfect will in our lives. Again, not to prosper us in the material sense but to use us for His glory, for the work of sharing the Gospel. 
I hope that was something like what you were looking for, anon! Personally, I don’t think we should place much importance in denominations -- the splitting of the church was always foremost a weapon of Satan. It’s much more important to live by the Word and by the Spirit. God bless!
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hieromonkcharbel · 5 years ago
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--Turning my eyes carefully upon myself and watching the course of my inward state, I have verified by experience that I do not love God, that I have no love for my neighbors, that I have no religious belief, and that I am filled with pride and sensuality. All this I actually find in myself as a result of detailed examination of my feelings and conduct, thus:
1. I do not love God. For if I loved God I should be continually thinking about Him with heartfelt joy. Every thought of God would give me gladness and delight. On the contrary, I much more often and much more eagerly think about earthly things, and thinking about God is labor and dryness. If I loved God, then talking with Him in prayer would be my nourishment and delight and would draw me to unbroken communion with Him. But, on the contrary, I not only find no delight in prayer, but even find it an effort. I struggle with reluctance, I am enfeebled by sloth and am ready to occupy myself eagerly with any unimportant trifle, if only it shortens prayer and keeps me from it. My time slips away unnoticed in futile occupations, but when I am occupied with God, when I put myself into His presence, every hour seems like a year. If one person loves another, he thinks of him throughout the day without ceasing, he pictures him to himself, he cares for him, and in all circumstances his beloved friend is never out of his thoughts. But I, throughout the day, scarcely set aside even a single hour in which to sink deep down into meditation upon God, to inflame my heart with love of Him, while I eagerly give up 23 hours as fervent offerings to the idols of my passions. I am forward in talk about frivolous matters and things which degrade the spirit; that gives me pleasure. But in the consideration of God I am dry, bored, and lazy. Even if I am unwillingly drawn by others into spiritual conversation, I try to shift the subject quickly to one which pleases my desires. I am tirelessly curious about novelties, about civic affairs and political events; I eagerly seek the satisfaction of my love of knowledge in science and art, and ways of getting things I want to possess. But the study of the law of God, the knowledge of God and of religion, make little impression on me, and satisfy no hunger of my soul. I regard these things not only as a non-essential occupation for a Christian, but in a casual way as a sort of side-issue with which I should perhaps occupy my spare time, at odd moments. To put it shortly, if love for God is recognized by the keeping of His commandments ("If ye love Me, keep My commandments," says our Lord Jesus Christ), and I not only do not keep them, but even make little attempt to do so, then in absolute truth the conclusion follows that I do not love God. That is what Basil the Great says: "The proof that a man does not love God and His Christ lies in the fact that he does not keep His commandments."
2. I do not love my neighbor either. For not only am I unable to make up my mind to lay down my life for his sake (according to the gospel), but I do not even sacrifice my happiness, well-being, and peace for the good of my neighbor. If I did love him as myself, as the gospel bids, his misfortunes would distress me also, his happiness would bring delight to me too. But, on the contrary, I listen to curious, unhappy stories about my neighbor, and I am not distressed; I remain quite undisturbed or, what is still worse, I find a sort of pleasure in them. Bad conduct on the part of my brother I do not cover up with love, but proclaim abroad with censure. His well-being, honor, and happiness do not delight me as my own, and, as if they were something quite alien to me, give me no feeling of gladness. What is more, they subtly arouse in me feelings of envy or contempt.
3. I have no religious belief. Neither in immortality nor in the gospel. If I were firmly persuaded and believed without doubt that beyond the grave lies eternal life and recompense for the deeds of this life, I should be continually thinking of this. The very idea of immortality would terrify me and I should lead this life as a foreigner who gets ready to enter his native land. On the contrary, I do not even think about eternity, and I regard the end of this earthly life as the limit of my existence. The secret thought nestles within me: Who knows what happens at death? If I say I believe in immortality, then I am speaking about my mind only, and my heart is far removed from a firm conviction about it. That is openly witnessed to by my conduct and my constant care to satisfy the life of the senses. Were the holy gospel taken into my heart in faith, as the Word of God, I should be continually occupied with it, I should study it, find delight in it, and with deep devotion fix my attention upon it. Wisdom, mercy, and love are hidden in it; it would lead me to happiness, I should find gladness in the study of the law of God day and night. In it I should find nourishment like my daily bread, and my heart would be drawn to the keeping of its laws. Nothing on earth would be strong enough to turn me away from it. On the contrary, if now and again I read or hear the Word of God, yet even so it is only from necessity or from a general love of knowledge, and approaching it without any very close attention I find it dull and uninteresting. I usually come to the end of the reading without any profit, only too ready to change over to secular reading in which I take more pleasure and find new and interesting subjects.
4. I am full of pride and sensual self-love. All my actions confirm this. Seeing something good in myself, I want to bring it into view, or to pride myself upon it before other people or inwardly to admire myself for it. Although I display an outward humility, yet I ascribe it all to my own strength and regard myself as superior to others, or at least no worse than they. If I notice a fault in myself, I try to excuse it; I cover it up by saying, "I am made like that" or "I am not to blame". I get angry with those who do not treat me with respect and consider them unable to appreciate the value of people. I brag about my gifts: my failures in any undertaking I regard as a personal insult. I murmur, and I find pleasure in the unhappiness of my enemies. If I strive after anything good it is for the purpose of winning praise, or spiritual self-indulgence, or earthly consolation. In a word, I continually make an idol of myself and render it uninterrupted service, seeking in all things the pleasures of the senses and nourishment for my sensual passions and lusts.
--Going over all this I see myself as proud, adulterous, unbelieving, without love for God and hating my neighbor. What state could be more sinful? The condition of the spirits of darkness is better than mine. They, although they do not love God, hate men, and live upon pride, yet at least believe and tremble. But I? Can there be a doom more terrible than that which faces me, and what sentence of punishment will be more severe than that upon the careless and foolish life that I recognize in myself?
On reading through this form of confession which the priest gave me I was horrified, and I thought to myself, "Good heavens! What frightful sins there are hidden within me, and up to now I've never noticed them!" The desire to be cleansed from them made me beg this great spiritual father to teach me how to know the causes of all these evils and how to cure them. And he began to instruct me.
"You see, dear brother, the cause of not loving God is want of belief, want of belief is caused by lack of conviction, and the cause of that is failure to seek for holy and true knowledge, indifference to the light of the spirit. In a word, if you don't believe, you can't love; if you are not convinced, you can't believe, and in order to reach conviction you must get a full and exact knowledge of the matter before you. By meditation, by the study of God's Word, and by noting your experience, you must arouse in your soul a thirst and a longing- or, as some call it, 'wonder'- which brings you an insatiable desire to know things more closely and more fully, to go deeper into their nature.
"One spiritual writer speaks of it in this way: 'Love,' he says, 'usually grows with knowledge, and the greater the depth and extent of the knowledge the more love there will be, the more easily the heart will soften and lay itself open to the love of God, as it diligently gazes upon the very fullness and beauty of the divine nature and His unbounded love for men.'
"So now you see that the cause of those sins which you read over is slothfulness in thinking about spiritual things, sloth which stifles the feeling of the need of such thought. If you want to know how to overcome this evil, strive after enlightenment of spirit by every means in your power, attain it by diligent study of the Word of God and of the holy Fathers, by the help of meditation and spiritual counsel, and by the conversation of those who are wise in Christ. Ah, dear brother, how much disaster we meet with just because we are lazy about seeking light for our souls through the word of truth. We do not study God's law day and night, and we do not pray about it diligently and unceasingly. And because of this our inner man is hungry and cold, starved, so that it has no strength to take a bold step forward upon the road of righteousness and salvation! And so, beloved, let us resolve to make use of these methods, and as often as possible fill our minds with thoughts of heavenly things; and love, poured down into our hearts from on high, will burst into flame within us. We will do this together and pray as often as we can, for prayer is the chief and strongest means for our renewal and well-being. We will pray, in the words holy Church teaches us: 'Oh God, make me fit to love Thee now, as I have loved sin in the past'"
The Pilgrim Continues His Way
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