#I don't think most of the party cares how manageable it is because nobody else is benefiting form having one in their skull but

[y-rhywbeth2]

Technically we could've kept the tadpoles post game in theory.

While it's probably a little different with Netherese magic getting involved, the tadpoles and the elder brains are not inherently connected (normally). A baby illithid can survive without an elder brain. The result is... a giant monster worm terrorising and consuming all it encounters, but the manipulative eldritch horror that tyrannises the mind flayers is not required for its existence and survival. The brain dying did not actually have to result in the tadpoles dying.

Furthermore, ceremorphosis as a health condition can be managed. I'd have to look it up again, but I believe it's restoration or something in that family of healing spells which resets the damage the tadpole doe. Keep on top of your castings and it won't eat your brain and squidface you. Remove the Netherbrain and its ability to auto-squid you and they're no longer such a danger. ...of course if you die and become a squid you need a miracle spell to bring you back, so it's a risky health condition.

[orangepanic]

Why do you think that Asami has no friends at the beginning? With Korra it’s because she grew up in isolation and with Mako and Bolin it’s because they were homeless- but why doesn’t Asami have any friends? A girl like her should’ve had a million friends

First of all, bless you, anon. I'd literally opened up a window to talk to some friends about how alone in fandom I feel these days because so many people have moved on or stopped creating and interacting. Then I saw this message! Don't underestimate how motivating it is to get asks about characters and headcanons, or even just to know someone else is interested in your thoughts and wants to talk about mutual interests. You really brightened my day. I hope I can do the same.

As for Asami, I have three theories. The most likely and most boring of these is that it's simply convenience on the part of the writers. In book 1 we didn't see much of her personal life outside of interacting with the Krew so there was no need to waste precious screen time on Asami's other friends. After the show got renewed the writers had to scramble for reasons Asami would still be around - because let's face it, who winds up hanging out with your ex and the girl he left you for as your main friend group? IMO there's zero reason for Asami to be in the show after the first season if she has other friends and sources of support.

A more interesting proposition and the one I mostly go with in my own fics is that Asami did have other friends initially, but that they all abandoned her after her father's arrest. She'd have gone to a fancy private school full of other rich kids with other rich and important parents who'd know that a connection to the daughter of a convicted felon was now social suicide. Suddenly nobody returns her calls, everyone is busy, that invite to Su Li Lim's party happens to go astray, etc. With so many social doors now shut to her, hanging out with the former Fire Ferrets makes more sense. She might even do it initially out of spite in a "well FINE, I'm gonna go be important to the Avatar and go fight crime and be awesome" kind of way.

My last theory is that Hiroshi Sato didn't really let Asami have friends. Acquaintances, sure, but he wouldn't want her growing too close to any dangerous benders and there wasn't an easy way to do this without it being obvious that's what he's doing so he didn't let her grow close to anyone. I think of this as the Victorian novel scenario where Asami is disincentivized from doing kid stuff to "take care of father" and from an early age assumes some of the duties her mom had taken on in terms of household management. She's somehow always too busy for friends. When the class field trip comes around her dad needs her for something important. This might also explain how an 18-year-old thought they were qualified to be CEO of a huge company. She's already managing half the staff at the estate as well as the vendor contracts. How hard could it be?

But what do you think?

[cursedvibes]

Holy shit, chapter 30 was so good. The depiction of the parade manages to balance so many aspects. It's chilling, creepy, macabre and grotesque and so heart-wrenching. It appears like a typical festive ceremony, but the transflored humans make it seem truly otherworldly and among all those bombastic spectacles you have the people (mostly children) brought like lambs for the slaughter. They know exactly what awaits them and they can see all around them what they eventually will turn into.

The worldbuilding in Fool Night is just so good. You start to see how it all connects. The ones chosen for the parade are technically making a great sacrifice, turning into flora so the rest of humanity can have more oxygen to breath. But as usual, even this already horrible act gets further corrupted by greed. Instead of producing oxygen, they more often then not get turned into furniture because some people only care about the money they can make off of this.

I love how this also further explores Toshiro and Ivy's relationship. I hope the two meet again in the future. Toshiro sold his body and began the transfloration process because he needed money, which is already horrible enough, but now he gets further confronted with how corrupt this system really is and how much worse even the transfloration process can get as seen by Ivy and their sister. Worst of all, his best friend is complicit in all this, even if she doesn't like it. I'm curious to see if he can actually manage to accomplish something and at least help Ivy. Changing the whole system seems way too big at the moment, but I'm already impressed that he is resolute to try to accomplish some change and push deeper for more answers. I wouldn't blame him if this would just make him freeze with existential dread.

Which brings to another scene

We've seen transflora with some human remains before or humans with some branches here and there, but this is something else. They are still clearly mostly conscious, but have lost their mobility and normal functionality already. Probably the worst part of the process. Of course the government doesn't want the general population to see that, the riots happening now would've picked up much earlier then. It's interesting how the government and most of the parties opposing the transfloration practice dehumanize the people who do undertake it. The government just sees them as fuel and they encourage others to do the same or this process would become a little too immoral (like shipping the ones who still look too human off). Similarly, the opposing parties often show the sentiment, that only The Poor are doing the transfloration process, they are leeching off government money before dying and they are (somehow) responsible for taxes increasing. Only the desperate do this and the poor and homeless are never treated well. Instead of seeing that things like the oxygen tax drive people to undergo transfloration to receive money aka a last desperate move before dying, the opposing parties punish these people as well by saying they are greedy, wasting what little money they're given and also an eyesore. Transflored humans are the main reason they can even breathe, but nobody wants to really acknowledge that. So they get dehumanized by everyone.

I also thought this was a very powerful moment because it once again confronts Toshiro with what fate awaits him as well. In a year or so he might be hanging on that wall as well, they might ship him off soon too because they don't think he looks human enough and is an eyesore. It reminds him once again what little time he has left. And still he chooses to spend it looking deeper into all this and finding some sort of justice for Ivy or at the very least answers. He could just look away and use the relative financial stability he now has to make the best of the human life he has left, but instead he goes the more painful way. Really like him more and more as a main character. This is clearly not easy for him, but that doesn't hold him back, even if he has his moments of panic. He also has changed a lot since the beginning of the series because in the first few chapters, if he saw something like the parade or this wall of transflored humans, he would've run away and try to forget (which is an understandable and natural reaction).

It's too bad the English translations take so long, but the wait for every chapter is definitely worth it. The German translation of Volume 1 is coming out in July and I'll definitely buy it.

[lochnesswriter]

20 questions for fic writers

Thanks to @mayalaen for tagging me! (way too long ago lol)

First, my AO3

How many works do you have on AO3?

65

2. What’s your total AO3 word count?

218,144

3. What fandoms do you write for?

Leverage, White Collar, 9-1-1 Lone Star, 9-1-1, MCU, Political Animals, Stargate Atlantis, Stargate SG1, Supernatural

4. What are your top 5 fics by kudos?

Ice Cream and Therapy, First Dance, An Unexpected Party, Tales of Batman: Interlude I and The First Time

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not?

Yes, but sometimes I get miserably behind and then have to catch up all at once. But I cherish every one and I do enjoy interacting with readers

6. What is the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending?

Um, I'm not much for angst, but I guess Stay With Me. It's SPN/Leverage, and deals with Dean's demon deal

7. What’s the fic you wrote with the happiest ending?

Probably Never Sees It Coming (Stargate Atlantis)

8. Do you get hate on fics?

Not really, which I appreciate.

9. Do you write smut?

Not at all. I write a lot of spankings though, so different kink

10. Do you write crossovers? What’s the craziest one you’ve written?

I love writing crossovers, and most of my fics have at least two fandoms involved. That said, the craziest one is absolutely Curse You, Steve the Seal, which is a crack drabble crossing Hawaii Five-0 with Phineas and Ferb (last time I ever ask for a fanfic prompt from someone who doesn't actually read/write fanfics.) But a close second would be Merry Christmas to All, and to All a Sore Butt, which I just finished. Leverage/White Collar/9-1-1/9-1-1 Lone Star, and an AU of two of my preexisting AUs. That was a wild ride.

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen?

Not that I'm aware of.

12. Have you ever had a fic translated?

Don't think so, though that would be cool.

13. Have you ever co-written a fic before?

Not fanfic, no. I do have one series posted with a co-creator, but I am still waiting for said co-creator to actually co-create something instead of just throwing more prompts at me lol

14. What’s your all time favorite ship?

Not sure? I have ships I like, ships I don't like, but I don't know. Favorite to watch is probably Tarlos and Malec (helps that they're canon lol). Favorites to write would be Eliot/Quinn/Neal and John/Evan/Cam ( I love the polyamory lol)

15. What’s a WIP you want to finish, but doubt you ever will?

Um. All the ones that I'm spending thought on, I probably will manage to finish? Otherwise I probably don't care about them enough at the moment to notice if I don't?

16. What are your writing strengths?

I love dialogue. It's so fun to just see what the hell the characters are gonna say/do next

17. What are your writing weaknesses?

Description and action. I can't actually picture anything in my head, so I find myself baffled that people might actually care about what the setting looks like/what's going on

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language in fic?

I won't do it, because I don't speak another language well enough and I don't trust Google translate, but if need be I'll probably pull a "she said in this language." When people do put other languages in dialogue I get frustrated that I can't read it, but I also understand that that's what it's like for the characters, too, so fair enough

19. First fandom you wrote for?

Supernatural and Leverage (so many crossovers you guys)

20. Favorite fic you’ve written?

I don't even know, I love all of them. At the moment, though, I've got a fondness for both Goodnight Moon and the follow-up Goodnight Nobody. They're Bucky-TJ fics that are just kinda cute and feelsy.

tagging (with no pressure or obligation): @actualalligator @im-overstimulated-and-im-sad @trivalentlinks @friendly-chaos @snowviolettwhite and anybody else who wants to play! Please tag me so I can see your stuff 💜

[astarab1aze]

💙 for gabs and loux if you wanna uwu

muse relationship headcanon game

who curses more?

loux omg. does this need an explanation? lskdjfd they first met and he'd already said fuck 3 times and shit twice i'm pretty sure. the proof is in the scarbuncle puddin

who is more patient?

i feel...i feel like gabriella is. she's so sweet, right, until she's not but still. loux is patient in a lot of ways but he's also somewhat impulsive and extreme for no reason or because of impatience. :I it's gotta be gabs

who does the driving?

loux cannot drive. physically. like he understands how a car works, but cannot work one himself. do not let him get behind the wheel of a car. gabs'll live but nobody else will. if she even has a car. i juST-- fuck it, he'll pay somebody

who is louder? who is quieter?

i feel like context matters cos they're both monstrous in their own ways. she more eldritch and he more divinely animalistic. the noise comes from them killing things. otherwise i think, in a general sense, loux is loud and talkitive where gabs is more shy, quieter in that sense

who is more physically affectionate?

loux. no one will ever beat him in this, i'm convinced.

who is more likely to tease the other?

loux again. sexually, conversationally, like. :/ gotta feel for gabs on this one. she will know no peace

who is better with time management?

i feel like, since gabs holds down a regular job, h-her. there's something about that screams she can do it better than him, i'm just saying. but loux's still kind of always busy, doing his own fucky sort of work, and still making time to be a teasing, goofy 'can i getcho numbuh' ass guy with gabs ksjdfh

who wins the arm wrestling matches?

depends on if magic and tentacles are allowed or not, but my answer will probably always be loux if only because he's super competitive and i don't think gabs cares about this kjdfhs

who controls the music in the car ride?

i imagine they would take turns, if they had a car, but i don't think it really matters? to them. house music is different though. loux's got hyper-specific playlists for everythang

who covers dinner when they order in?

what? loux, and he won't take no for an answer so she's gotta deal. them's the breaks. never ask a lady out and then not pay for everything, in his mind

who is more outgoing? who is more shy?

loux's gotta take it again cos the man's a social butterfly. he's here to rizz and be obnoxious and flirt and make a girl feel good-- y'know, about herself

who has the more outlandish fashion sense?

loux. i'm saying loux right now. gabs is alternative in a sense, but loux be out here in wizard armor and robes okay

who starts the tickle fights? who ends them?

oh loux's gotta be the one who starts them and if he can get away with it, he will end them too. ahem. with kisses. u kno, he can be chaste and not a complete menace--

who has the darker/more “edgy” sense of humor?

loux again. homie's a 12 year old in a cod lobby

who is more competitive when it comes to games?

loux again. he's naturally competitive in general and i don't see gabs being down to play against him because of how competitive he is. he's at least a good sport most of the time though

who has the bigger appetite? the bigger sweet tooth?

do...well, gabs eats people in her eldritch form yes? that's one hell of an appetite. loux is a walking garbage disposal and has to eat even though he doesn't really enjoy the process much. he'll eat anything tho

who is more likely to get in a confrontation in public?

loux :I naturally aggressive, just calculating about it. and will fight anyone, without reason or mercy if he feels like it

who hosts the parties/hangouts? who organizes them?

i feel like they both would here, but loux especially since he's persistent

who is better at cooking? do they ever cook for each other?

i'll say they both can cook but loux is bonkers about it. if he's cooking, she's gonna just sit there and look pretty and that's that on that. he loves to cook, loves it, and holds it in such high regard he manifests a third personality as gordon ramsey. very extra. he'll eat whatever she makes, but when he's cooking, he's cooking

who is more likely to engage in dangerous and/or illegal behavior?

loux. entirely loux. i don't have to explain skjdfh

who is more likely to notice when something is wrong with the other?

this depends on context. loux's an idiot but he's incredibly observant and perceptive, whether he does anything about it is a different story. i feel like gabs would be more sensitive about it

who does the talking in public settings (i.e. to the waiter at a restaurant)?

loux sometimes, depending on where they go. but he's not one to trample over someone's autonomy except in certain situations and generally only regarding people he doesn't like

who is more likely to extend a helping hand & provide emotional support?

i feel like gabs? would be. loux will, but...hmm. i'm not sure it would necessarily be helpful or even a hand worth taking

who is the bigger prankster? do they get the last laugh or do they suffer for it?

loux and he better suffer for it

[strangertheories]

I support byler and occasionally make posts about it, so I'd never say this on main but I think the writers could not manage to utilize byler well if going for byler was their intention. I think they should have given byler more personal scenes together that did not involve el in the discussion in some way. Because the truth is whenever they had a discussion, it was related to el some way or other instead of it being personally about them.

like even the apologizing scene has mike saying that he was worrying too much about el and that he thought he lost will's friendship because of his worrying about el... another scene has mike worrying about el leaving and reading el's note, and will reassuring him that mike will get the chance to tell el how he feels. the car scene is about mike worrying about el (i know some people think that mike was thinking about something else there but it is clear to me that he was worrying about el). the van scene-- mike says that he is worried that el will leave him bc he is some random nerd, etc.

I get that they do not only talk about el in those convos but it still revolves around her or at the very least, it includes her and that those convos are not actually about mike and will's bond tbh.

I think the writers should and could have given mike and will more personal convos, like talking about their hobbies, just having some fun or mentioning their lives OR in general anything that is not related to el in some way.

I'm criticizing this bc that's one of the most common stuff other people also notice whether it be mlvns or GA. That's why they think Mike spent the season thinking about El and he talks about El all the time and GA thinks mike is also just there to be for El, etc.

Before I begin, so no one gets annoyed, this is not a Byler doubt post but rather a "how should they handle Mike" post. But yeah anon, I agree, I think if they're intending Byler to be canon they could've handled it a lot differently. HOWEVER, I do think that S2 was very good for this as it really developed Mike and Will's relationship and if they pulled something similar to that for S5, I'd be very happy. I don't really mind if Byler is canon or not because I have no expectations that it will be (not saying no one else should, nobody come after me please), but at the very least, they need to put more focus on Mike and Will's relationship.

If Byler isn't canon then Mike as a character is heavily defined in relation to other people and particularly Eleven so I think fleshing him out and giving him dramas not revolving around her would be good anyways. I think S4 handled it well for the most part even if there were individual decisions I didn't like in particular the comment about meeting El being the best day (did the writers forget why he met her?) and him not noticing Will crying. Both decisions felt a bit out of character for me because whilst Mike is wrapped up in his own stuff, he cares a lot about Will. He noticed Will was particularly quiet in S2 when none of his friends did and he was the one to talk to him when he was mind flayed.

Basically, I just think that Mike needs a heavier focus on his internal struggles and to remind the audience that he's incredibly caring and empathetic. I think that's why the "heart" thing fell a bit flat, if they said that about S1 or S2 Mike, everyone would agree however because Mike has been so focused on Eleven rather than the party, it came off as disingenuous. You don't even need Byler canon to fix that even if it would help because they've established his character but he's become more of a prop in a love triangle than a person to a lot of fans.

TL;DR they need to establish Mike more independently in S5 but I also think they should've shown more of that in S3 and S4 as well regardless of shipping. Thanks for the ask and I'm glad you were comfortable sharing this, I know saying anything against Byler can be scary but it's surprising how welcoming fans can be except a couple of toxic fans. (Nobody tell me as a gotcha Mlvn fans can be toxic too, that's happened before and I'm aware, look at my ask box 💀)

[apricusnights]

Chapter Five: Beginning's End.

Location: "The Spire". The absolute center of Apricus City.

Chimera: "You realize I have to kill them all now. The brat figured out who I was and most of their little group saw my face. I hope the research data was worth it."

Masked Man: "It won't matter in the end. There is no video evidence of what you look like so the average person has nothing to go by. Besides, it isn't as if you can't change your appearance anytime you like. Or, is this perhaps about something else?"

Chimera: "Maybe I just don't like the bitch. She rubs me the wrong way."

Masked Man: Opening the box delivered to him by the white rabbit group. "Go after her if you want, she's irrelevant and therefor disposable."

Chimera: "I'm not going to make it that easy. I want her to suffer…but she can wait for now. Did you get what you needed?"

Masked Man: "This missing data from Olympus, including the notes on how my creation fared in it's one and only battle. More importantly though…our friends managed to dig up what I needed. I know where the next piece of the puzzle is."

Chimera: "What about all the data you had me gather at the club?"

Masked Man: "The Marigold clan is particularly interesting. Especially when it comes to awakened abilities..and powers that aren't exactly classified as such. All the research has a greater purpose."

Chimera: "Meaning this of course?" Motioning to a set of research notes dating back to the empire.

Masked Man: Reaching up and removing the mask before tossing it aside. "Precisely. In the end all that matters is Project Sunrise.."

Location: Guardian District.

Miranda: "Bundles of Lavender offered to pay or the damages done to the club. Guess they wanted to save face since Nava was involved. We still got stuck with the bill for the train damage though. Lowell wasn't pleased."

Jae: "What's worse is that we all came up empty handed. The rabbit masked weirdos got away with whatever was in the escape craft. I'm also gonna assume you still think we've got a traitor somewhere."

Miranda: "Keep that to yourself. Right now you and Oct are the only ones I've told about this. We can't let anyone suspect anything. I've got to come up with a way to flush them out but it'll have to wait. We need to focus on maintaining peace between the factions."

Jae: "You mentioned Oct, I haven't seen him around. Where did he head off to?"

Miranda: "Who knows. Hadrian fixed up his armor for him and he left, said he had work to do. Think that encounter he had in the helicopter might have spooked him a little."

Jae: "Yeah, and the fact he seemed to have his own agenda when it comes to the rabbits. Wonder if he knows who one of them is."

Miranda: "Never asked him too many questions. Figure that might be one of the reasons he keeps working with us. He does his thing, we do ours. I keep him on the payroll for when I find jobs nobody else can do."

Jae: "Fair enough. I need to get going. Amelia asked me if I wanted to go on a date."

Miranda: "Finally got the guts to ask huh? Good on her. Just..be careful Aryl."

Jae: "Course Ma'am." Giving a salute before leaving the office.

Location: Cherry Hills.

Ajax: "So you think you're gonna add any of them to your incredibly elite circle of friends?"

Nava: "I barely was able to speak to any of them. Just because we fought together doesn't mean I care to know them."

Ajax: "Good job at that by the way, you kicked some ass. A small amount of ass but ass nonetheless. But…I find if you fight alongside people and they don't stab you in the back..you might end up finding something in common with them. Battles are a good way to determine a lot of things."

Nava: "I'll make sure to invite them to my next tea party." Glancing over at her aShine and rolling her eyes.

Ajax: "Dickheads at the company again?"

Nava: "My parents are "thoroughly disappointed" by my actions. They've had to make a public apology on my behalf. The company wants me to read a statement."

Ajax: "They don't even give a shit about if you're ok or not. All that matters is their fuckin public image. These assholes are about to go travel the world on some "fashion show at sea" thing and I'm pretty sure that's all that matters."

Nava: "There was a time when I wish I could have argued against that but…it's increasingly obvious that you're right. You, Bonnie, and Sable are some of the only people who have ever cared about ME. Not my family name, not my work, not the company, just ME."

Ajax: "Eh fuck everyone else, you're better than them."

Nava: "I've heard rumors that the company is looking for ways to kick me out. I wonder if what just happened will give them more ammo."

Ajax: "Does it matter?"

Nava: "It used to. I don't know if it does anymore."

Ajax: "That's my girl! Just lift your top up, let your tits out, give a middle finger and send that picture to everyone. There's the fuckin statement they can have!"

Nava: "Absolutely not! Besides…I'd rather someone actually important..see something..like that.."

Ajax: "Wha.." Nava's top was suddenly thrown over his head. He frantically reached up to pull it away so nothing was obstructing his view of..

Ajax barely had a chance to react as Nava caught him off guard, pushing him back and making him fall backwards on to the sofa. Nava bit her lip as she made her way over to him…

Location: Aurora Vale.

"Redfish" sat by himself on a bench near one of the park's many small lakes. The images played in his mind over and over. All that time spent tracking her down only for her to slip away again. Now he was back at square one.

Perhaps it was even worse than before. Now he knew someone else was out there in armor like his own. No, whatever that was it was far more advanced than his armor or any he's ever seen. He knew he'd seen the symbols on the armor somewhere before but couldn't quite place where. He'd have to do some research again, not like that was hard. The Bureau had granted him access to nearly every file they had.

Still, even thoughts of his new armored foe would vanish and be replaced by his obsession with finding his friend. Was she even that? They fought together, he felt as if she was some sort of kindred spirit, or maybe she reminded him of someone. It didn't matter, this was his mission. He'd never given up on a mission and he didn't intend to start now. Square one be damned, you get knocked down and you get your ass back up.

He stood up and turned to see someone had been watching him. Something he should have detected..how long had she been there? He recognized her. She fought in the tournament, she fought alongside him when the creature attacked Olympus..he remembered her name was..

Redfish: "Solstice?"

Solstice: "Summer, and we need to talk.."

Location: Upper Docks.

Jasper: "I'm still upset you didn't wait for me."

Mel: "Oh ok, what do I say? "Could everyone hold off on fighting for a second so my boyfriend can get here?" Yeah, that would have worked. Besides, what kept you?"

Jasper: "I'm fairly sure your brother tried to sabotage me.."

Mel: "That's your excuse for everything now."

Jasper: "And most of the time it's true!"

Mel: "Yeah yeah. Anyway we're heading back to the theater. Remember we have a brainstorming session this weekend for the new schedule!" Waving at Amias and Lye before she and Jasper left.

Van: "And I'm just saying she was pretty. I don't really remember much but I'm sure it was fun!"

Nerys: "Poison lipstick Van. She was going to kiss you to death!"

Van: "And I said it wouldn't be a bad way to go! I'd have been fine with it!"

Viridian: "There's the Van Marigold humor I know and love…"

Van: "Just tellin the truth…I would have.."

Lye: "You would have what? Been happier? We'd have been better off? Do you still think that way?"

Van: "I.."

Lye: "No, you're going to shut up and listen to me. Tagetes was right. I'm sick of holding on to this. You're my brother, I care about you. All of those terrible things you did? I don't care. I may never be able to truly forgive you for what you did but that doesn't mean I don't care about my brother!"

"It's time to let this go Van. All of it. We can't live out the rest of our lives like this and you can't go on thinking we'd be better off without you. We wouldn't. You have friends, you have family, and we love you. When you were drowning and Captain Larsen pulled your dumb ass out of the water…that was your wakeup call. You have a second chance, you need to stop trying to waste it."

"Tagetes told me that I am not who I used to be. I am not a reflection of my past self, and Van..neither are you…"

She'd actually give her brother a hug before wiping the tears from her eyes.

"Besides, Chimera wasn't that pretty. You've got someone much better looking who's been trying to get your attention for a long time.."

Van: "I…" Trying to regain his composure before wiping off his own watery eyes. "Wait..who..what?"

Amias: "You really are dense…" Turning him to look at Bonnie.

Bonnie: "Uhm..hi Van.."

Van: "Bonnie? You..?"

Lye: "Oh for Tagetes's sake. She gets heart eyes every time you're playing a match against her! You two really need to just go have dinner or something."

Bonnie: "Uhm..wanna go have dinner?"

Nerys: "Yes he does! I know a great place, I'll get you two in without reservations! You'll love it!"

Van: "I'd..love to."

Location: Somewhere in Smokey Gardens.

White Rabbit (Biker): "Told you we'd get ya a new mask, all fixed up! Ya look good sis!"

White Rabbit (Scythe): Nods and follows him into a large meeting room filled with people all wearing white rabbit masks.

White Rabbit (Queen): "Ah good, we've been waiting on you. Have a seat. Now, as all of you know our plans have been set in motion. We have members in nearly every nation now and we're only continuing to grow."

"With the recent crackdowns on anything deemed to be "criminal" activity..it's become much more difficult for several organizations to operate. We will be the solution. One that is many, many that are one. A global operation that won't be based in any one place."

"The world is on the brink of being irreparably fractured. With nations at each other's throats there will be no cooperation between law enforcement agencies. Everything we desire, we shall acquire!"

"And when the fracturing ends and the new world begins to form..we'll be the ones pulling the strings.."

Location: Apricus City.

Lydia Reliford: "Good evening Apricus City. Lydia Reliford here for Apricus News."

"A continuous series of anonymous donations have set up the Delta Town Restoration Project. The project aims to fix the many issues Delta Town has faced while maintaining affordable living."

"The project is being overseen by the city council with a small amount of objection coming from the High Priestess of the Consecration. She believes since it is her district she should be the one overseeing everything. Her objection however was overruled."

"Speaking of the Consecration, Brother Julius has announced the next wave of scholars, and church personnel who will be accompanying him to what is rumored to be a long lost cathedral deep underground. The church has yet to confirm or deny this rumor."

"Our weather forecast is looking good as temperatures begin to rise a bit. Summer is certainly right around the corner. Get ready to do some gardening as experts are saying next month will be perfect to start getting everything planted!"

"That will do it for tonight, have a wonderful evening everyone!"

[miaikon]

I was exposed to a lot of not-age-appropriate media during my childhood in the 80s/ 90s. Anyone else share this experience?

This is not a try to explain or excuse my mental issues, or to complain. It's just a kind of vent since I'm thinking about this a lot, on and off. For context, I was born in the 1980s and reached 18 years of age in the early 2000s. My native language is German. Also, apart from a few nightmares, I don't know how much this affected me.

My earliest memory of catching something I maybe was too young for was when I was six or seven. My stepfather liked playing videotapes of musicals while he did the house chores (he was our stay at home parent). This got me glimpses of "Hair", "The Rocky Horror Picture Show" and also "Jesus Christ Superstar". I remember asking my stepdad why Frank'n'Further was dressed like he was, and him answering "because he likes it". Also, I was a big fan of the big dance scene at the beginning of "Hair" (set to "Age of Aquarius").

I don't think this chapter, while probably not stuff you'd usually show a seven-year-old, affected me too much. I watched all these musicals later as a teen and was able to re-contextualise what I saw in my head after I learned English and understood what was going on.

The nightmares came later. I must have been nine or ten. My bio father had me every weekend then, but apparently didn't want taking care of me to stunt his social life, so he brought me along to the big sci-fi watch parties he had with friends every Saturday. In retrospect, I think my mother made him take me for the weekends, and he wasn't a fan. Before that, he used to leave me with friends, who also had kids, or his then-girlfriend a lot and just go off do his own thing.

Anyways, I was present for the sci-fi screening. I don't know all the names, but three of the series they watched were some form of "Star Trek" (it definitely had Data and Picard), "Deep Space Nine" and, I think, "SeaQuest". They watched one episode of multiple series a night, and I wasn't allowed to ask any questions and usually fell asleep on the couch. Scenes from some episodes haunted my nightmares for years after (remember, my age was in the single digits!). As a teen, with the help of my now-fiancé, I managed to hunt down and re-watch some of these episodes for context.

Quick interlude - the man is a sci-fi enciclopedia. He managed to figure out not only the series, but the EPISODE, from clues like "Woman with psychic powers enters brain of serial killer, sees all his murder victims", "half-machine woman tells pale guy to rip off his own skin" and "two people scream at each other while a woman is giving birth in the same room. They argue about the symbolic value of the baby".

Paralell to all that, nobody really cared what I read. Starting with "Discworld" at age 13 was probably the most age-appropriate thing I ever did XD. I learned to read at age five, before being enrolled in school at age six. According to my mom, I wanted to learn. According to my memory, she taught me so I could read my own bedtime stories.

Anyway, anything that said "Fantasy" on it was fair game. The same way anything animated was DEFINITELY for kids of all ages ("Watership down" also lived in my nightmares for years). I got given books quite randomly. Some noteworthy ones are: me reading "The never-ending story" at age six (before I could read a clock. I refused to learn how to read a clock for a long time because, in my kid mind, it meant I couldn't be expected to have a bed time/ know when it was time to stop reading). There was also "Sorla Flusskind" ("Sorla Riverchild"), which is a pretty decent kid's adventure book - if it wouldn't start out with our protagonist's conception via assault. Honorable mention goes to "Dracula's daugther's", which I received as an Anne-Rice-Obsessed fifteen year old. It's basically soft porn. There were probably more that weren't age appropriate, but I just can't recall.

Thank you for reading! If you had similar experiences, share please if you feel comfortable to do so. I'd like to know if I'm alone in this.

[0nlinejournal]

12/30/2022 9:44pm

I am finally back and chillin'. I had work at my barista job today. Closed with someone new. I don't know if I've mentioned my new job on here yet, but I'm a barista now on top of my production assistant job. I only have one shift a week currently, but I can pick up shifts, and today was one of those picked up shifts. I usually close with a long time friend, but today I closed with someone else. It went better than most of my other closes, honestly. I feel like we worked well together, and he started preclosing pretty early so we got out at a good time. It was also strangely busy, so I made 24 dollars an hour. And that's only it being moderately busy. It's fucking wild how much money they make at that store. With my usual shifts, I still make around 20 an hour, and that's with it being dead most nights. I mean like nobody in the shop for the last two hours dead. It's crazy.

I forgot tomorrow is New Years Eve, and the shop is having a little bowling party at three. I'm going to go, but I also scheduled a hair appointment for three. I forgot about the party. I feel awful because I really want to go. I'm hoping I can just show up a bit late and they'll still be there? Our manager paid for the whole thing, and he's such a nice guy and I know not a lot of people are going. Hopefully it'll just work out, maybe I'll go to my hair appointment early and see if she has the time to take me early. If not, no big deeeaaaallllll.

I've been feeling real weird recently. That feeling where I don't really feel real. I feel like I'm looking through a lens, or a screen. Like I'm watching myself move around and do little tasks. POV life simulator. Roleplaying a normal gal doing normal things. Another feeling I know is a sign of my declining mental state, but also another feeling that I kind of enjoy because it feels so funky. Like woOaaAhhh! WhAt aM i GOinG tO Do nExT?!

I don't know. I simultaneously understand I need help, and should definitely start looking for it, but also I'm not at the worst part yet and I kind of like not caring about anything important for a second. I'm always so stressed and anxious and tired, but I think I broke my brain again and now I'm just doing whatever, still trying to set myself up to be financial stable, but ultimately doing whatever is going to make me happy in the moment. Although, I know that if I have to do something I really don't want to do, it'll probably send me into the depths. So sensitive!

My writing sucks. These entries are so boring and I'm bummed about it. I just don't have the brain juice to make anything sound nice when I finally have the time to sit down and write. Is that just life? Being to tired to use your brain? That's why people do such mind numbing activities, right? Watching tv, playing repetitive video games? Speaking of video games... I'm off to play ESO!

10:02pm

[notacoward]

Severus eventually managed to escape all of the ruckus out on the back porch. He didn't even know why they had a porch, and there had to be a lot of magic at play to ensure nobody saw them. He wouldn't question it too much, and just trusted that Dumbledore knew what he was doing. When he had come into the Order, he had had to do a complete overhaul on the security and protective wards on the house. It had taken him all of a week to figure out where Headquarters was when he was solely a Death Eater, and that was just because he had been determined to keep tabs on Lily. He was sure it wouldn't take long for someone else to do it if he didn't intervene. Now... he'd be impressed if anyone happened upon them.

He pulled out a cigarette and clicked his fingers to light it up, a small spark flaming the end of it. Taking a few drags, he puffed out some smoke and closed his eyes. Sweet, sweet bliss. He didn't get to smoke as much as he wanted at Hogwarts, purely because it was difficult to find a secluded spot, and every time he had, McGonagall had somehow found him and bollocked him for it. Couldn't she just mind her bloody business? He loved the woman, but Merlin's beard.

Sucking in more smoke, he stared out into the darkness that surrounded the house. It was eerily quiet, despite them being near a traveled road. It was just the magic at play, he knew, but it still was sometimes too quiet. It forced him to actually listen to what was going on inside his head for once. Severus rarely ever wanted to be alone with his thoughts, despite wanting to be alone most of the time. That was purely from a 'he hated everyone' standpoint.

Most everyone, anyway.

His stomach turned and he felt a familiar twinging in his chest, and as expected, the back door opened. He quirked his head, the woman who drove him mad coming into view. "I don't want you breathing this smoke, Lily," he said, which was true. He had smoked for a long time, even before they had stopped being friends. She had scolded him for it at first, claiming it was bad for him, but had given up after a while. She had always been understanding of the situation with his home life.

He looked down at her as she came to stand beside him, holding the cigarette away from her. However, at her look, he frowned sheepishly, and slowly handed the cigarette over to her so she could have a drag. "I need to mark my calendar," he muttered. "They're bad for you, don't you know? Causes cancer and whatnot." He was only teasing, which he knew she knew, but he couldn't deny how hot she was. Fuck. He had it so bad, even now. It was even worse now, especially when she looked so mouthwatering.

"How are you not frozen?" he asked, eyeing her clothing. He loved her outfit, but it was definitely meant for an indoor party, not outside in the snow. He wished he had a coat to offer her. All he had was a silent warming charm that settled over her. Hopefully that would be enough.

"I'm sorry, Lils," he then said quietly, finding it hard to look her in the eyes. However, he knew he had to. Lifting his head, he stared at her intensely. "I think about that horrible day every second. Every second. You were right to do what you did. I wasn't good any more. I still am not sure if I can even get that side of me back. I may be too far gone, but... I'm trying to be better. I'm trying to be the old Sev you knew. But please know that I regret every horrible thing I did to you, and every horrible thing you've endured because of something I did. I promised to take care of you forever when we were nine and I broke that," he said. He was trying to do it now, but that didn't excuse the last ten years. He could feel himself welling up, and his throat was tight, but he was going to power through. "I miss you so much," he whispered brokenly. "I miss you so much it hurts. My bones ache from being apart. We aren't meant to be apart. We're best friends, we're always supposed to be best friends. I'm so sorry I ruined that. I don't have an excuse, just... an explanation that I was a stupid fucking kid and didn't know what he had until it was gone. I never thought of you as anything less than perfect. I let my humility get the better of me and I took it out on you, when I never should have. I know I don't deserve your forgiveness, but I will get down on my hands and knees and beg it of you every day for the rest of our lives if that's what it takes. Please," he said sadly, a few tears rolling down his cheeks. He hung his head in defeat, shoving his hands in his pockets. "I am lost without you."

Passing fancy aside, Lily was just hoping she would have the chance to actually talk to him again. If his stay at Headquarters didn't prove that he was on their side - or at least not the enemy - then his success in managing a quarter of Hogwarts had to. Last time he was here she didn't get the chance to really clear up what happened between them, and if there was any chance to move forward they just had to. She missed his friendship, even if it would be different now for obvious reasons. Slightly unsure if his hesitancy was good or bad she let Marlene drag her away, glancing once over her shoulder before throwing herself into conversation with her friend.

Maybe he hadn't missed her at all, or the dress was too much. Marlene had promised her she looked fantastic, but… her idea of fantastic was a little out there at the same time.

It was too late to run up and change now, so she would just make the best of it and have a good time tonight. Happy when Dorcas joined them the three stuck together like they usually did, baiting the boys from across the room or gossiping about this or that.

Really she couldn't have made it over these last few months without her friends. The outings were still very few and far between, much more so than she would have liked, but realizing she knew about the target on her back the both of them had opened up a lot more instead of feeling like they had to keep secrets.

There was a tiny bit of resentment towards Dumbledore for trying to keep her in the dark, but logically she knew he was only trying to keep her alive. Just because he went about it in a stupid way didn't mean she shouldn't be grateful about it.

Whatever he had told to Severus had apparently extended to the Mauraders as well, because though they avoided him like the plague none of them were actually trying to start something. As the evening wore on more Order members started to file in, the house becoming loud with chatter and a chance to socialize for the first time in a good while.

The Longbottoms, Alastor, and Minerva were her favorite three to see outside of people who stayed here all the time. Her and Alice had always gotten along so well, Lily having been a bridesmaid in her wedding, and she couldn't even remember the last time she got to actually talk to Minerva directly instead of through letters.

Alastor was just a riot whenever alcohol was brought into the conversation, so she enjoyed his antics and kept an eye out for Severus through the evening. She wanted to go over and talk to him, but with everyone else around she didn't want to cause a fight. The few times she did catch his eye brought a little smile, one that she hoped would prove she at least wanted to be friends instead of flat out ignoring him anymore.

[thecameronchronicles]

In Love With A Pogue

TW: Smut. Language. Slight angst with Pogues vs Kooks tension. 

SUMMARY: Your secret relationship with Topper is exposed, leading to a confession and a change in the existence of Kooks and Pogues as you know it…

WORD COUNT: 1600

REQUESTED

gillybear17 asked:

Hi!!! I have a Topper request that’s similar to the John B secret imagine. The reader is a Pogue secretly dating topper and they get caught making out by the Pogues and kooks. I would love it to be smut after they explain that they are in love and nothing will change how they feel about each other. Maybe Topper admit she loves the reader in front of everyone and he doesn’t care who knows. 

In Love With A Pogue

The way that you two would look at each other made it a miracle that nobody knew the lust that burned between you. But this was because you were more than careful as you were aware nobody would understand the way you found each other over this last summer. The most unlikely of individuals managed to fight beyond their social responsibilities and build something truly beautiful. The only unfortunate detail was that of it needing to be done in secret. And yet, it also worked along the fire of passion continuously building before you in this moment. So much so that a simple glance over the rim of a disposal cup would act as a beckoning to act on such prohibited desires. 

"I've been needing to touch you all night-" Topper spoke between the kiss as he led you to the side of the house, a nameless Kook who threw yet another summer party, acting as an excuse to be together without raising eyebrows. 

"And this dress, babe, are you TRYING to make everyone see what being with you does to me?" 

"What DOES it do to you?" You asked as your hands fell towards his cock, already pressing at attention at the mere thought of you. But his intentions were more than sex, something you knew nobody would understand as they believed Topper was as shallow as a kiddie pool, and that would be a compliment. But you knew the other side of him. A side he proved yet again as he pulled your hand to his chest. 

"I swear everytime I see you, my heart stops…and then when I see you dance…I want you moving with me like that…and when you smile, I want to be the reason-"

"You are, Top…I haven't smiled this much in my entire life-"

"And when your sleep, I want it to be in my arms. Waking up to kiss you…" His hands ran down your hips. "To remind you how lucky I am to be the one who keeps you up late…and wakes you up early…" His lips teased your neck as his hands pulled your dress up just slightly. 

"Jesus, I swear I will never get tired of your body moving like that for me…" 

"How about how wet it is?"

"Oh? Are you?"

"So much, Top…being so close and not able to touch you, all I think about is what will happen when we get to be alone."

"Well we are now…" His hand pulled the tie of your bikini top loose before your breast was exposed. The second his hand collected it within his palm, his fingers on the rival hand were inside of your shorts. 

"And you ARE soaked for me." You took his hand sharply, by his wrist. 

"You don't want me to make you come baby?"

"I want you to fuck me, Top-YOU, not your fingers…"

"Put look at that face right there…the face I've wanted to be the reason for all night…why would I stop when you're feeling so good for me?"

"Oh God…"

"Yeah? Ride my hand baby…let me-"

"Are you fucking kidding me man?! A pogue?!" Rafe’s voice promoted Topper to guard you while he helped you redress. 

"Just stop-"

"I get it for a quick fuck, but you look like you were actually making love to her or something-" The commotion brought both social groups of the core pogues and Kooks together, all to denounce any support for what they witnessed. 

"Don’t talk about her like that…But so what…What if I was? Gonna wreck me for it?"

"A Kook?!" Pope asked as Kiara and JJ looked at each other with confusion and then to you with almost pained expressions. 

"Nobody else on our side impressed with you placing seventh in nationals?" Kelce shot as JJ focused to you, "If you needed someone to use for frustration, there are literally hundreds of guys who would-"

"You know what? I am glad this happened." Topper took your hand, looking back at you as if asking you to test him, as you wrapped your other hand over hod in further validation. 

"Maybe it shouldn't have happened. Maybe we are adding a reason for you to hate each other, but I can't hate her. She's passionate and strong and adventurous, smart as hell and I don't have to tell any of you how beautiful she is…and…And I love her." He turned to face you. 

"I love you-"

"You're better than this. Maybe you just need someone in your system but it's over now, okay,-" Kiara tried to pull you away. "Don't let them use pretty words-" You shot back. 

"I don't expect anyone to understand that but I love how he looks at me…how we can talk without saying a word and feel deeper than just the surface of the skin. I love that he is ambitious and I won't apologize for anything because…because I love him too…" Your eyes came to him before your feet quickly made up the distance. 

"So if any of you have a problem with it, consider yourself cut off…" He spoke while setting his forehead to yours. "I want the whole entire world to know she's mine." Without a care of a response from your friends, who were left in shock, you were taken away from public eyes and into the closest room. 

"Out!" Topper commanded to a duo of peers halfway through a blunt. "OUT!" He ordered with your lips on his neck, his hand running up your back and through your hair. 

"So just how long have you loved me, Top?" You asked as you pulled back from a kiss as he would smirk. 

"Long enough to know you're worth risking it all for…"

"And you?" He asked while helping you out of your shorts as you extended the tension while waiting to answer until he was shirtless. 

"Long enough to know there isn't anything you can say or I can do that will ever change it…"

His smirk widened to your words. 

"What?"

"Then say yes…" He laid you onto your back, hovering over you as your brows raised in intrigue to this proposition. 

"Make it official and say yes to being my girlfriend…" 

The word, one you weren't sure would ever be associated between the two of you in genuine existence was now offered on a silver platter. 

"Yes. I want to be your girlfriend, Topper."

"Then let me make my girlfriend come…" He moved between your legs, a trained trail of fingers pulling your thighs wide as he untangled the bow of your swim bottoms until you were naked for him. 

"And let me do something about this mess…" He kissed your thigh softly before inching closer. Your back came to an immediate arch to the fervor of his tongue familiarized to you once again. There was something different in his actions, however, that made every sensation deeper. And you knew exactly why. It was because you were in love. Even if you'd never spoken the words prior to tonight you could feel it, evidence of that strengthened now. 

"I'm gonna come, Top!"

"You didn't want my fingers to do it earlier, you wanted it on my cock…you still want-"

"Yes!"

"Then who am I to deny my girlfriend?" You were turned onto your knees, ass pulled level to his hips before he pulled down his trunks and exposed himself to the air. 

"Say it again, please Top…"

"Girlfriend?" He trusted into you. "You like being labeled for me?" His hand was around your neck as he pulled you up to his chest, creating perspiration between you by the continued thrusts and attempts to speak intelligible through the pleasure. 

"You like that I officially own you?" You scoffed. 

"You don't own me, Top-"

"No? This ass isn't mine?" He asked with a slap. "This mouth?" A passionate French kiss made you breathless before his hand fell to your clit. "This perfect little pussy?"

You only smirked. 

"Then I shouldn't let it come then. If it isn't mine, you don't need me to-"

"Please, Top-" He was behind you, lips to your war. 

"Then say it's mine. Tell me what I want to hear. Tell me."

"Yours. It's all yours."

"But are you?"

"Yes!"

"Then come on my cock to prove it baby…and let me fuck it right back I you to prove your just as much mine." 

Pistons of a murderous pace would do just that as you were taken to fave him once your highs were reached and the ecstasy altered to bliss. 

"Does that mean I get to call you boyfriend?" You asked while looking at him with a goofy smirk, arms folded at his lower chest to meet his eyes. 

"Whatever you want, babe."

"We should get those couples shirts and matching necklaces-" You tormented him with a list of potential what is as he would smirk. 

"As long as it makes you happy and you know you're mine, I'll do it."

"I think this'll work out just fine, boyfriend."

"Couldn't agree more, girlfriend…"

Taglist: @hopebaker @iovdrew @penny4yourthoughts @magnificantmermaid @pickingviolets @lovedetlost @trikigirl271 @maybankslover @slut4starkey @slvtherinseeker @obxiskewl @obxxrxfes @bluesongbird @slut-era @ailee-celeste @rafesbae @camilynn @bethoconnor

[respectable-username]

🔐 Why You (Probably) Don't Need A VPN

A rant by a software engineer sick of VPN ads from her favourite YouTubers

TL;DR:

Here are some legitimate reasons the average internet user might want to use a VPN:

To connect to their company's internal network

To bypass the Great Firewall of China (or other types of website blocks at country or organisation level)

To watch Netflix etc as if you were in another country

Here are absolutely rubbish reasons to use a VPN:

Privacy

And today, I'll tell you why.

Hang on, won't a VPN stop hackers from stealing my passwords?

I mean, it does encrypt the web traffic coming from your device.

You know what else encrypts web traffic coming from your device? Your browser.

Yes, in the year 2021, pretty much all websites on the internet are accessed over HTTPS. The "S" stands for "secure", as in "your request will be securely encrypted". If your browser is using HTTPS, nobody can capture the data you're sending over the internet. More detail in the "I like too much detail" section at the bottom of this post.

It's very easy to check if you are using HTTPS by looking at your URL bar. In most browsers, it will have a lock on it if secure:

(From top left to bottom right: Chrome on iOS, Safari on iOS, Chrome on Windows, Edge on Windows, Firefox on Windows, and Safari on Mac. Screenshots reflect the UI at the time this post was written. Oh gosh this has taken over 4 hours to write.)

But isn't moar encryption better? What if somebody breaks HTTPS?

For starters, nobody's breaking your HTTPS, and there isn't any benefit from double encrypting. This is because of the maths behind encryption/decryption!

Encryption works kinda like a lock and key, except the lock is maths and the key is a special number only known to the person allowed to unlock the information.

The important thing is, without the key, all the locked data looks like complete and utter garbage. Completely unusable. Barely distinguishable from random noise. There's absolutely no way to tell what the original data was.

The other important thing is that the key is nearly unguessable. As in, with current technology, will generally take more than the lifetime of the universe to guess by chance. And when technology gets faster, we just make the numbers bigger again until they're once again secure.

For any major website you use, they will use a strong encryption algorithm (ie lock) with big numbers so your keys will be strong enough to withstand an attack. This means your data is safe as long as that lock icon is in your URL bar.

A VPN will not make the existing garble any more garbled. The extra $10/month or whatever you're paying for does not buy you any extra protection.

If you want to know more about how encryption and HTTPS in particular work, see the "I like too much detail" section at the end of this post.

Something something viruses

How's a VPN going to stop viruses? It controls the path your internet traffic takes, not the content that gets sent down that path. I guess it could block some known virus-giving hosts? But if it's known to the VPN provider, it's probably also known to the built-in antivirus on your computer who can block it for you.

(Oh yeah, 3rd party antivirus is another thing that's not worth paying for these days. Microsoft's built-in Windows Defender is as good as the third party options, and something something Macs don't get viruses easily because of how they're architected.)

Honestly though, keep your software up to date, don't click on anything suspicious, don't open files from sources you don't trust, and you'll be right most of the time.

And keep your software up to date. Then update your software. Hey, did I mention keeping your stuff updated? Update! Now! It only takes a few minutes. Please update to the latest version of your software I'm begging you. It's the number 1 way to protect yourself from viruses and other malware. Most major software attacks could have been prevented if people just updated their damn software!

But my ISP is spying on me!

Ok, it is true that there are TWO bits of data that HTTPS can't and won't hide. Those are:

The source of a request (your IP)

What website that request is going to (the website's IP)

These are the bits of information that routers use to know where to send your data, so of course they can't be hidden as the data is moving across the internet. And people can see that information very easily if they want to.

Note: this will show which website you're going to, but not which page you're looking at, and not the content of that page. So it will show that you were on Tumblr, but will not show anyone that you're still reading SuperWhoLock content in 2021.

It's this source/destination information that VPNs hide, which is why they can be used to bypass website blocks and region locks.

By using a VPN, those sniffing traffic on your side of the VPN will just show you connecting to the VPN, not the actual website you want. That means you can read AO3 at work/school without your boss/teachers knowing (unless they look over your shoulder of course).

As for those sniffing on the websites end, including the website itself, they will see the VPN as the source of the connection, not you. So if you're in the US and using a VPN node in the UK, Netflix will see you as being in the UK and show you their British library rather than the American one.

If this is what you're using a VPN for and you think the price is fair, then by all means keep doing it! This is 100% what VPNs are good for.

HOWEVER, and this is a big "however", if it's your ISP you're trying to hide your internet traffic from, then you will want to think twice before using a VPN.

Let me put it this way. Without a VPN, your ISP knows every website you connect to and when. With a VPN, do you know who has that exact same information? The VPN provider. Sure, many claim to not keep logs, but do you really trust the people asking for you to send them all your data for a fee to not just turn around and sell your data on for a profit, or worse?

In effect, you're trading one snooper for another. One snooper is heavily regulated, in many jurisdictions must obey net neutrality, and is already getting a big fee from you regardless of where you browse. The other isn't. Again, it's all a matter of who you trust more.

For me personally, I trust my ISP more than a random VPN provider, if for no other reason than my ISP is an old enough company with enough inertia and incompetence that I don't think they could organise to sell my data even if they wanted to. And with the amount of money I'm paying them per month, they've only got everything to lose if they broke consumer trust by on-selling that data. So yeah, I trust my ISP more with my privacy than the random VPN company.

But my VPN comes with a password manager!

Password managers are great. I 100% recommend you use a password manager. If there's one thing you could do right now to improve your security (other than updating your software, speaking of, have you updated yet?), it's getting and using a password manager.

Password managers also come for free.

I'm currently using LastPass free, but am planning to switch after they did a bad capitalism and only let their free accounts access either laptop or mobile but not both now. I personally am planning to move to Bitwarden on friends' recommendation since it's not only free but open source and available across devices. I also have friends who use passbolt and enjoy it, which is also free and open source, but it's also a bit DIY to set up. Great if you like tinkering though! And there are probably many other options out there if you do a bit of googling.

So, yeah, please use a password manager, but don't pay for it unless you actually have use for the extra features.

No I really need to hide my internet activity from everybody for reasons

In this case, you're probably looking for TOR. TOR is basically untraceable. It's also a terrible user experience for the most part because of this, so I'd only recommend it if you need it, such as if you're trying to escape the Great Firewall. But please don't use it for Bad Crimes. I am not to be held liable for any crime committed using information learned from this post.

Further reading viewing

If you want to know more about why you don't need a VPN, see Tom Scott's amazing video on the subject. It's honestly a great intro for beginners.

I like too much detail

Ahhh, so you're the type of person who doesn't get turned off by long explanations I see. Well, here's a little more info on the stuff I oversimplified in the main post about encryption. Uhh, words get bigger and more jargony in this section.

So first oversimplification: the assumption that all web traffic is either HTTP or HTTPS. This isn't exactly true. There are many other application layer internet standards out there, such as ssh, ftp, websockets, and all the proprietary standards certain companies use for stuff such as streaming and video conferencing. Some of these are secure, using TLS or some other security algorithm under the hood, and some of them aren't.

But most of the web requests you care about are HTTP/HTTPS calls. As for the rest, if they come from a company of a decent size that hasn't been hacked off the face of the planet already, they're probably also secure. In other words, you don't need to worry about it.

Next, we've already said that encryption works as a lock and a key, where the lock is a maths formula and the key is a number. But how do we get that key to lock and unlock the data?

Well, to answer that, we first need to talk about the two different types of encryption: symmetric and asymmetric. Symmetric encryption such as AES uses the same key to both encrypt and decrypt data, whereas asymmetric encryption such as RSA uses a different key to encode and decode.

For the sake of my writing, we're going to call the person encrypting Alice, the person decrypting Bob, and the eavesdropper trying to break our communications Eve from now on. These are standard names in crypto FYI. Also, crypto is short for cryptography not cryptocurrencies. Get your Bitcoin and Etherium outta here!

Sorry if things start getting incoherent. I'm tired. It's after 1am now.

So first, how do we get the key from symmetric crypto? This is probably the easier place to start. Well, you need a number, any number of sufficient size, that both Alice and Bob know. There are many ways you could share this number. They could decide it when they meet in person. They could send it to each other using carrier pigeons. Or they could radio it via morse code. But those aren't convenient, and somebody could intercept the number and use it to read all their messages.

So what we use instead is a super clever algorithm called Diffie-Hellman, which uses maths and, in particular, the fact it's really hard to factor large numbers (probably NP Hard to be specific, but there's no actual proof of that). The Wikipedia page for this is surprisingly easy to read, so I'll just direct you there to read all about it because I've been writing for too long. This algorithm allows Alice and Bob to agree on a secret number, despite Eve being able to read everything they send each other.

Now Alice and Bob have this secret number key, they can talk in private. Alice puts her message and the key into the encryption algorithm and out pops what looks like a load of garbage. She can then send this garbage to Bob without worrying about Eve being able to read it. Bob can then put the garbage and the key into the decryption algorithm to undo the scrambling and get the original message out telling him where the good donuts are. Voila, they're done!

But how does Alice know that she's sending her message to Bob and not Eve? Eve could pretend to be Bob so that Alice does the Diffie-Hellman dance with her instead and sends her the secret location of the good donuts instead.

This is where asymmetric crypto comes in! This is the one with private and public keys, and the one that uses prime numbers.

I'm not 100% across the maths on this one TBH, but it has something to do with group theory. Anyway, just like Diffie-Hellman, it relies on the fact that prime factorisation is hard, and so it does some magic with semi-primes, ie numbers with only 2 prime factors other than 1. Google it if you want to know more. I kinda zoned out of this bit in my security courses. Maths hard

But the effect of that maths is easier to explain: things that are encoded with one of the keys can only be decoded with the other key. This means that one of those keys can be well-known to the public and the other is known only to the person it belongs to.

If Alice wants to send a message to Bob and just Bob, no Eve allowed, she can first look up Bob's public key and encrypt a beginning message with that. Once Bob receives the message, he can decrypt it with his private key and read the contents. Eve can't read the contents though because, even though she has Bob's public key, she doesn't know his private key.

This public key information is what the lock in your browser is all about BTW. It's saying that the website is legit based on the public key they provide.

So why do we need symmetric crypto when we have asymmetric crypto? Seems a lot less hassle to exchange keys with asymmetric crypto.

Well, it's because asymmetric crypto is slooooow. So, in TLS, the security algorithm that puts the "S" in "HTTPS", asymmetric RSA is used to establish the initial connection and figure out what symmetric key to use, and then the rest of the session uses AES symmetric encryption using the agreed secret key.

And there you have it! Crypto in slightly-less-short-but-still-high-enough-level-that-I-hope-you-understand.

Just realised how long this section is. Well, I did call it "too much detail" for a reason.

Now, next question is what exactly is and isn't encrypted using HTTPS.

Well, as I said earlier, it's basically just the source IP:port and the destination IP:port. In fact, this information is actually communicated on the logical layer below the application layer HTTPS is on, known as the transport layer. Again, as I said before, you can't really encrypt this unless you don't want your data to reach the place you want at all.

Also, DNS is unencrypted. A DNS request is a request that turns a domain name, such as tumblr.com, into an IP address, by asking a special server called a Domain Name Server where to find the website you're looking for. A DNS request is made before an HTTP(S) request. Anyone who can read your internet traffic can therefore tell you wanted to go to Tumblr.

But importantly, this only shows the domain name, not the full URL. The rest of the URL, the part after the third slash (the first two slashes being part of http://), is stuff that's interpreted by the server itself and so isn't needed during transport. Therefore, it encrypted and completely unreadable, just like all the content on your page.

I was going to show a Wireshark scan of a web request using HTTP and HTTPS to show you the difference, but this has taken long enough to write as it is, so sorry!

I could probably write more, but it's 1:30am and I'm sleepy. I hope you found some of this interesting and think twice before purchasing a VPN subscription. Again, there are legit good uses for a VPN, but they're not the ones primarily being advertised in VPN ads. It's the fact that VPN ads rely so heavily on false advertising that really grinds my gears and made me want to do this rant. It's especially bad when it comes from somebody I'd think of as technologically competent (naming no names here, but if you've worked in tech and still promote VPNs as a way to keep data safe... no). Feel free to ask questions if you want and hopefully I'll get around to answering any that I feel I know enough to answer.

Nighty night Tumblr. Please update your software. And use a (free) password manager. And enable two factor authentication on all your accounts. But mostly just update your software.

[mypoisonedvine]

𝘳𝘪𝘴𝘬 𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘢𝘨𝘦𝘮𝘦𝘯𝘵 || niki lauda x reader

𝘴𝘶𝘮𝘮𝘢𝘳𝘺: niki takes only very calculated risks, except when you’re around to show him how to have a bit more fun.

𝘸𝘰𝘳𝘥 𝘤𝘰𝘶𝘯𝘵: about 3k

𝘸𝘢𝘳𝘯𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘴: smut (semi-public sex, rough-ish sex, road head, very slight dubcon but really just mild hesitance), a touch of degradation (but it comes from a place of love I promise), spanking (briefly), established relationship, niki being massively introverted and slightly rude (but like, same)

[gif is mine, which explains why it looks so bad]

“How long do we have to stay here?” Niki mumbled into your ear, making you roll your eyes.

“We’ve only just arrived,” you reminded him.  “It’s a lovely afternoon, it’s a beautiful property, and I want you to meet my friends.”

“I know, I’m not trying to suggest we leave too quickly, I just want to know how much dull conversation I’m in for.”

You shoved his shoulder, only as hard as you thought you could without disturbing the flute of champagne in his hand.  “I hope nobody hears you talking that way.”

Before he could respond, the owner of the aforementioned beautiful property stepped up and extended his hand to Niki warmly.  “You must be the elusive Nikolaus we’ve heard so much about!”

“Just Niki is fine, thank you,” he returned with a firm shake and a polite smile.  “It’s nice to meet you.”

The small talk went on that way for a while, with Niki just barely managing to come across as socially acceptable and thankfully staying away from too much racing talk (even when other guests tried to egg him on for more details about it).

That was one of the many interesting things about your boyfriend: it wasn’t that he lacked any social intelligence, in fact he had more than most crowds he was in put together, it was just that he didn’t really seem to mind if people saw him as a bit cold or standoffish.  He could be incredibly charming, after all he had charmed you quite easily, but he preferred to be brutally honest.  All was well so long as honesty and politeness didn’t interfere.

After a few conversations where you clung to his arm and laughed at all his jokes, you could see him becoming visibly tired of it all; he ran his fingers through his sandy-blonde curls more often, he began to toy with the button of his blazer, all signs of subtle irritation that only you would pick up on.  It made you realize you should find a way to excuse the two of you for a moment, to give him a break.

“Say, Niki, would you like to take a walk in the vineyard?” you offered, hoping your friends would pick up on the signal not to invite themselves along.

“Yes, schatz, that would be lovely,” he nodded, and as the two of you quickly waved goodbye to those you had been conversing with, he grabbed your hand and intertwined his fingers with yours.

“What do you think of them?” you prompted when you were far enough away from everyone else that you knew he wouldn’t be heard.

“They have a lot of questions,” he mumbled exhaustedly, making you laugh.

“They want to get to know you better!  I’ve been subjecting them to hours of going on and on about you, no wonder they’re excited to finally hear it straight from the man himself,” you explained.  

“I imagine they’re rather disappointed,” he smirked.

“Niki, of course they’re not!” you gasped.  “In fact, I bet they’re pleasantly surprised considering I told them so many awful things about you.”

He laughed lightly, looking down at the ground, and you walked around in front of him to grab the lapel of his blazer and pull him closer.  As he leaned in for a kiss, you kept leaning back with a smirk, making him chase you.  It didn’t last long, of course, his patience running thin until he grabbed your face and crashed his lips against yours.  You melted into it, moaning softly when his tongue traced over your lips and finally slipped into your mouth.

It was you chasing him when he pulled back, already totally lost in him and ready to ditch the party just to kiss him for an hour.

“You shouldn’t tease me like that,” he decided, looking at you with half-lidded eyes and lips that were a bit pinker than usual as well as fallen slack.

“You shouldn’t kiss me so good after I tease you like that, and I’ll have no reason to,” you countered.

When you turned around you realized you were approaching the driveway where you’d parked in the first place, and Niki immediately stepped up to the car.  “Let’s take a drive,” he suggested, but it didn’t quite feel like a suggestion when he was already opening your door for you and ushering you in.

“Wh— really?” you questioned, but you were already in your seat and he had shut the door behind you, circling the front of the car to get in the driver’s seat.  “Where are we going to go?” you asked when he got behind the wheel and turned the key.

“Just around, we’ll be back soon,” he shrugged, and you decided not to question it anymore; clearly, this was his best way to clear his head, and you were just happy he wanted you to come with him.

He took the car out of the driveway and started a journey down the road; you looked out the window at the scenery rolling by, and realized this was probably as good a way as any to show him the vineyard like you promised.  But, when you looked back at him where he was stoically staring out, steering through the twists and turns of the countryside road like it was second nature, you decided it was a better view than the scenery outside.

When you reached up to turn on the radio, he quickly smacked your hand— lightly, but enough to make you frown.  “Hey!” you defended, returning your hand to your lap.

“I prefer not to have music on when I drive,” he explained.  “It distracts me.”

You snorted out a laugh.  “You’re one of the best drivers alive, I figured you can manage a few distractions.”

“I can,” he countered, and you were a bit surprised that he didn’t challenge the qualifier of one of the best drivers alive.   “I just mean that the sound of the car is more entertaining to me than music.”

That answer sounded a lot more like the Niki you knew, and you smiled as you laid back against the passenger seat.  “You have a funny idea of entertainment, Niki,” you informed him.

“I know,” he nodded.

Glancing over at him, admiring his profile as he stared down at the road ahead, your lip caught in your teeth as you had a really, really bad idea.  “So you can drive with distractions?”

“If I need to,” he shrugged.

“Then maybe we can both get some entertainment,” you purred, sitting up and starting to lean closer to him.

“Schatz, what are you doing?” he stammered slightly, watching you with wide eyes as you reached to his belt, opening it quickly and already unzipping his fly.

“Shh, focus on the road Niki,” you winked, pulling his cock from his trousers and grinning at the way he gasped slightly.  It wasn’t quite hard yet, but it was growing quickly in your grasp, and a few kitten licks over the tip certainly helped him along.

“F-fuck,” he whispered above you, and you fought your smile as you wrapped your lips around him.  “Fuck.”

You hollowed your cheeks and bobbed your head, moaning a bit just from the taste of a drop of precum forming at his slit and smearing on your tongue.

“Wait, this— this is dangerous,” he breathed, and you kept stroking while you pulled off to reply.

“Shouldn’t be if you drive steady.”

“I can do that,” he nodded.  “I think…”

You got back to it before he could start worrying again.  The poor guy was always thinking, constantly assessing and analyzing everything, and it honestly sounded fucking exhausting.  Sometimes you thought sucking him off was the only way to really get him out of his head, and considering the way his body relaxed under your touch and he let out a soft sigh, this was one of those times.

“Baby,” he moaned lowly as your lips met the base of his cock, and although you were certainly partial to the petnames in his native tongue, you really didn’t mind the way he called you ‘baby’ either.  It made you want to keep him buried in your throat forever, but sadly you could only go so long without breathing.

So, instead, you just found a pattern you were happy with of sucking the head and stroking the rest.

“Oh, fuck,” he hissed, reaching down with one hand to hold the back of your head, guiding your movements.

You had to be careful not to block the gear shift when you were bent over like this, which was a bit uncomfortable but ultimately so worth it when he shifted gears quickly while you were still bobbing your head over his length.  Now you understood why he liked to hear the car… because now you could feel the car, feel the engine’s thrum as it reverberated through the steel and over your body.  It was actually a bit erotic, now that you thought about it; but then again, everything seems erotic when you’re as turned on as you were in the moment, your body crying out for more than it would have a chance to get any time soon.

He shifted gears again, taking the car around a tight turn, and you held onto his thighs tightly to keep from moving too much.  Thankfully he kept his promise to drive steady and it was pretty easy to keep your pace, even to speed it up as you hoped he would come down your throat without ever stopping the car or even slowing down.

The way he hissed in a sharp breath and grabbed your hair, accidentally pulling it (which you certainly didn't mind), made you think it wasn't so far off.

"God, you're a devil with that tongue, schatz," he groaned.  "Your mouth is so fucking sweet, you'll make me come."

You hoped your little hum around him made it clear that that was exactly what you wanted.

"You'll swallow it all, yes?" he pressed.  "You're not going to let any mess get on my beautiful leather seats, are you?"

You hummed again, sucking harder, and he moaned a bit louder.

"Fuck, j-just like that," he sighed.  "Don't— ah— don't stop, schatz, I'm close."

As if you would stop when all you could think about was the taste of him, how badly you wanted it to coat your tongue.  Already you could feel his cock starting to flex against your tongue and you doubled your efforts to bring him to the edge.  Normally you didn’t get a chance to hear his little moans and sighs because you were too busy making your own, so with your mouth full you could appreciate the sounds he made just for you.

It was only a stuttered gasp that signaled his release, just before ropes of warm come started to hit the back of your throat.  You narrowly avoided gagging from the way his hand pushed you down and held you there, but you moaned around him at the taste.  Your channel was throbbing, clearly annoyed that he was coming anywhere else.

Niki whispered your name, nearly choked on it, and let go as the pulses began to die down and he let out a long, sharp breath.  But you weren’t quite done; you kept moving for a few moments, slowly, making sure to have every drop in your mouth before you finally pulled off and swallowed; you noticed a spare drop of come rolling down his shaft and stuck your tongue out to lick it up in a quick swipe while he noticeably tensed beneath you.

He spared a glance at you as you sat up and wiped your mouth with the back of your hand, and you didn’t miss the shocked, yet exhausted, look on his face.  "Satisfied?" you asked with a proud grin.

"Not quite," he answered in a growl, pulling the car to the side of the road and parking it quickly.  "Get out and bend over the hood."

"Niki, what if someone—?"

"I think I made myself clear, get out and bend over the hood, schatz."

The petname had a lot more venom to it when he said it like that, with a cold sneer on his lips, and that likely should’ve deterred you but it only stoked the flame of need burning in your gut, and you nodded meekly before opening your door and getting out of the car.  He followed you as you bent over, placing his body behind your as he pulled your dress up and your panties down.

Right away he swiped two fingers through your folds and you shuddered.  "Dripping wet," he observed with a smirk.  "Do you like having my cock in your mouth that much?"

You nodded, trying to rock your hips for more friction.

"This pussy must have been so lonely,” he realized.  “Want me to fill you up, pretty girl?”

“Please,” you breathed, but even you didn’t expect him to shove into you in one stroke, right away, spearing you right to the brim as you choked on a gasp.  And he was moving right away, too, giving you no time to adjust to the girth of him.  "Fuck, Niki!" you whined, earning you a hard spank to your ass.  

You should’ve known he’d get back at you for those few minutes where you wielded power over him.  Well, actually, you sort of had known, which was part of why you did it in the first place.

For a man who had just come already, he fucked you with a lot more desperation than you were expecting, fast and rough and dirty.  But you realized it was more for your benefit than his; damn him, he always knew exactly what you needed and gave it to you effortlessly, operating your body with the same intuitive precision he drove his cars with.

And if we're continuing with the car metaphors, then reaching around to rub your clit while he fucked you was like kicking you into high gear.

"Ohhhh my god," you crooned, arching your back and trying to push back against his thrusts.

"It feels good?" he asked, like it wasn't obvious.

"Feels so fucking good, Niki, please please please don't stop," you begged.  Because you wouldn't put it past him to stop all of a sudden— to slam on the e-brake and not move again until you squirmed and cried and pleaded your little heart out.  But even he wouldn't be so cruel now, and he kept fucking you as he pinched your clit hard.

"That's what I thought," he nodded, leaning down to wrap his body over yours and speak into your ear.  "You're moaning like a little whore, you know."

"M'your whore," you gasped.  "Yours, fuck, it's all for you."

He stood back up straight with a grin and held your hips as he started to really pound into you, your walls beginning to pulse rhythmically as you felt him rubbing over every sensitive spot inside you.  His cock was so deep that it felt like you struggled to breathe slightly each time he shoved all the way inside.

It was a bit out of character for him, much more aggressive than he would normally be, but you didn't pull over expecting to make love on the car.  No, this was fucking, through and through, and you were already going to hit your high so much sooner than you could've anticipated: pressure was building inside you faster than you knew what to do with, and your clit was literally throbbing with only his balls slapping against it to provide any relief.

"Oh god, Niki, baby, I'm… I'm gonna come," you panted.

"Do it, then," he instructed roughly.  "Come around my cock, schatz, and scream nice and loud for me since nobody's around to hear you."

Your knees buckled when it hit you, thankfully you had the car and his tight grip to keep you upright.  “Fuck, Niki,” you sobbed, and he laughed proudly before spitting out his demand:

“Louder.”

“Niki!” you yelped, and apparently you had finally said it loud enough, because he was suddenly groaning and spilling inside you, holding your hips tight enough to bruise to keep you still as he thrusted erratically.

You hummed happily and let your head fall onto the warm hood of the car, body going limp as he finally stilled and let out a slow sigh.  He was careful as he pulled out, but you were still so sensitive that it made your toes curl inside your shoes just a bit.

Even though he was quick to pull your panties back up, a drop of his come still managed to leak out of your hole and drip down your thigh.  With no intent to let it go to waste, Niki swiped it up with the tip of his finger and brought it to your lips for you to lick off; you were still a bit groggy in the afterglow but happily obliged, suckling the digit with a little simultaneous moan and sigh.

“We should be getting back to the party soon,” Niki mumbled, helping you stand upright and straightening your dress for you.  

“Do I look alright?” you asked, opening the passenger door and flipping down the visor to try to use the small mirror inside.

“You look gorgeous,” he smiled.

“I mean more if I look like I didn’t just leave a garden party to get railed by my boyfriend on the side of the road only to then return like nothing happened,” you explained.

“Oh… yeah, no, you do look a bit like that’s exactly what you’ve done,” he nodded.  “Do you really think they’ll notice?”

“Well, I guess we just have to hope they don’t,” you decided as you attempted to fix your lipstick as best as possible.  “And if they do… then we'll hope we don’t end up reading some unsavory gossip about Ferrari’s newest driver in the papers tomorrow.”

He laughed as he got back in the driver’s seat, starting the car while you hopped in (a bit too fast; you winced when you sat down and realized you were still slightly sore and probably would be for the rest of the day).  “Trust me, schatz, in this industry, fucking your girlfriend only qualifies as unsavory gossip when you already have a wife at home.  And even then, you can get away with it a few times.”

“Right,” you snorted as you rolled your eyes, “I forget sometimes that you’re considered a goody two-shoes for a racer.”

“I hope you didn’t agree to be my girlfriend in search of wild adventures with the bad boy type,” he smirked.

“We just fucked on the car right on the side of the road, Niki,” you reminded him, “believe it or not that’s pretty wild for most of us.”

“For me as well,” he agreed.  “It’s you that makes me so bold... sometimes I can hardly believe the things I do because you’re near.”

You smiled happily to yourself, relaxing back against the seat with a deep breath.  Just when you let your eyes fall shut as you listened to the engine with him, you were surprised when you heard him turn the radio on.

You, you make loving fun

It’s all I wanna do…

You chuckled.  “I like this song,” you announced, reaching to turn it up slightly, though it was still mainly background music as you watched the hillside roll by.

He surprised you again by reaching out and resting his hand on your thigh, rubbing his thumb over your skin.  But his eyes were still on the road, even when you looked over at him, and you recognized the driveway where you’d started down the end of the way.

“Back to reality, eh?” you sighed.

“For now,” he decided.  “I should make you meet other drivers and pit crew as revenge for all these social engagements you take me too.”

“Niki, that would require you to socialise with other drivers and pit crew, too,” you noted.

He shuddered.  “You should be safe for now, then.”

[ayoungpascallover]

LOVE IN PAUSES PT.I |Javier Peña x Fem! reader|

Warnings. explicit content, female reader (no use of y/n), lenguage, angst, non-explicit descriptions of violence. |SMUT. oral sex ( f receiving). 

A/N. I'll post the second part later on the week, please let me know if you'd like to be tagged or if there are any warnings you would like me to add, also let me know if there are any mistakes (English is not my first language)

Words. 2.9k

|masterlist||part two|

The first time Javier saw you was under the light of the interrogation room, he asked Steve to go with Carrillo instead of him because you looked just too beautiful for him to concentrate on the questions he needed to ask. That wasn't like him, he loved women, sometimes he loved them a lot more than he should but he never let that interfere with his job, getting distracted was a luxury he couldn’t afford, the last time he did he got Helena hurt because he felt too comfortable mixing his love for her with his job. It wouldn’t happen again.

But he knew you, you were an actress, he was sure he had seen you on one of those telenovelas he watched whenever he was alone and drunk at home, you were always in the background with small roles but Javi only paid attention to you, only you. He had to admit that you looked pretty on his screen but in person you were fucking stunning. You seemed more intelligent that you got credit for, he saw that even through a TV and apparently Horacio Carrillo thought exactly the same thing. And that was exactly how you ended up in the middle of a DEA operation to arrest Escobar's sicarios, they had hired you just to show up al doll up for their party and have some drinks with the cartel. “She knows more than she’s saying” Horacio assured Steve when he asked him to slow down with you. Javier flinched when he heard you moan in pain when you received the first punch.

Fucking ridiculous.

"Listen, you're a grown up and seem pretty smart, I'm sure you can take care of yourself. You should stay away from this people, they don't mean well" Javi dared say to you when you walked out of the interrogation room with some bruises on your neck thanks to Horacio's gruesome ways. So you looked at him straight into his soul with those eyes that would remained printed on his mind forever.

"You're right I can take care of myself but I'll let my employers know your concerns" you said and walked away. No need to say that Javier was dumbstruck; by your words, your presence, your voice, everything about you was so... so...—

"Don't, Javi. I know what you're thinking but she's trouble" Steve, his voice of consciousness was quick in trying to stop him, but Javier followed you anyways. He walked behind you like a bewitched man, following whatever trace of you that was left in the building. Javi hoped he could get to you before you took a cab or someone picked you up, maybe you could use a ride home. But once he found you, standing in the middle of the streets with your high heels on your hand and looking terrified for what just happened to you he forgot what he was going after. You were clearly in shock and scared, nobody even asked you if you got hurt during the raid or the interrogation that came after, he had to help you. It was what anyone else would have done, his mother taught him better than to leave a woman about to have a panic attack standing by herself in the middle of the night, in a street like that in a place like Medellin. So he called your name with the most gentle tone he managed to get out of himself and touched your shoulder cautiously, just to call your attention.

"I don't— I don't have money to get home. I don't know how to get home" When you turned your head to look at him, your wattery eyes made his heart ache for you. He hated himself for feeling that much for someone who just told him to fuck off, but you looked so lost and clueless out there in the big cruel world. Steve was wrong, you weren't trouble, you were in trouble and he could help you.

"It's okay, I'll take care of it" He promised giving you those puppy sad eyes that would always work on you ever since that day. So you just trusted him, let him take your hand and guide you inside his truck so he could drive you home —his home—. "Are you hurt?" Javier interrupted the silence with his question and making you realise that you didn't know, everything was numb in that moment. You held it together until you couldn't anymore, you didn't even know who's party that was but there you were. "Bonita, if I'm going to help you, you

have to help me too. You don't have to talk just nod if something hurts" He was kind to you, it was weird having someone being so kind without trying to get something out of it. Maybe he did want something, but you weren't sure if that would bother you anymore.

"I don't know, I don't think so" you answered in a whispered, your throat was dry and sore and you had a headache but you weren't hurt-hurt.

"It's fine, we're here. We can check you upstairs. I'm Javi by the way" he gave you a smile, that you couldn't bring yourself to return but you gave him your name. "I know, it's a pretty name" was all Javier answered before getting out the truck.

You followed him inside the building, then inside his apartment and then inside his bedroom. He hadn't try anything, he just wanted you to rest and feel safe but the tension was palpable and thick in the air. The uncertainty of what would happen next kept your mind distracted from the fact you had been practically tortured by the colombian police and some sicarios had hired you as an ornament for their party, you felt dumb and used.

“Listen, I’ll let you rest. You can take the bed and I’ll sleep on the couch. You can shower if you want to...” he started talking but you didn’t want him to leave, not yet.

“I’m hungry” You weren’t, in fact you felt nauseous but maybe if he cooked something for you then you wouldn’t have to be alone.

“I only have some whiskey here, I could go to buy you something...”

“No!” you yelled panicked, Javier looked at you confused and wait so you could explain yourself “Sorry, I just don’t want to be alone”

“It’s fine, you’re fine. Let’s make a deal, I’ll be back before you get out of the shower and then we can eat together. What do you think?” He was being so sweet and you were acting so stupid. Why were you that clingy? He didn’t even had to help you.

“Esta bien” you agreed unsure, he stared at you for a moment looking for confirmation to leave but you could do nothing but to stare back. You hadn’t given yourself the chance to look at him, really look at him. Javier was gorgeous, his golden skin seemed so soft and inviting under the soft light of his bedroom and his brown eyes felt warm over your flesh, and... and... His bedroom, fuck. What the hell were you doing here? What the fuck were you thinking? Suddenly you became so aware of how wrong it was that your were there. His partners were beating the answers they wanted out of you not more than an hours ago, what if Javier was just keeping tabs on you? What if he was just getting close to make you confess something you didn’t even know about. “I think I should leave. I’m sorry I bother you, thank you” You grabbed your purse and put your heels back on, desperate to get out of there.

“It’s three in the morning, you can’t leave by your own. You don’t even have money on you” Javier walked ahead of her and stood in front of the door to stop you from leaving.

"I already told the other two everything I know, please"

"I'm not gonna ask you anything, just wanna help" Javier offered his hand, he tried his best to relax his shoulders and ease the furrow of his brows.

"¿Sin preguntas?" You asked nervously. *No questions?*

"Lo prometo. Please, at least wait until the sun is out" you could only nod in response and took his hand, it was so much bigger than yours and rough, calloused from where he gripped his gun.

"Javier?" You called him as you followed him back to his bedroom.

"Javi" he corrected you softly making you smile.

"Javi, me gustaría esa ducha" he only smile in return, genuinely and kindly, he entered to the bathroom inside his room and you walk behind him. *Javi, I would like that shower*

Javier got you a towel and a long t-shirt that you supposed belonged to him, it was just a green simple plain shirt but it smelt like him, it was a very specific fragrance, it smelt woody and smoky and clean, just like him; you held it close to your chest, it gave you some

sort of comfort. You couldn't even concentrate in what he was telling you about the temperature of the water and about what shampoo to use, your mind was way to busy thinking about his scent.

"Everything alright?" He asked dragging you out of your mind. You didn't anwser, finding imposible to speak when he was that close to you. Was he always that attractive? You saw him before, sure he was a beautiful man but how did you miss the way his black button-up shirt was so tight to his back muscles? And the way his black curls fell over his face? And his pouty plump lips were so kissable? How didn't you notice how beautiful his eyes were? "Bonita, ¿estás bien?"

"You want to fuck me?" You asked with no hesitation or shame. You knew what men thought of you, you saw the way they looked at you; Javier wouldn't be any different, you were almost certain the main reason why he followed you outside that building was because he wanted to fuck you.

"What?" He asked shocked by your sudden shift of attitude.

"Maybe I didn't say it well. Javi, ¿tu me quieres tirar?" You asked the same thing but in spanish this time, your expression completely unreadable. You saw it, the way his posture changed completely, he was more alert now, he even seemed much more intimidating. He squeezed his hands into a fist and his broad chest betrayed the way his breathing became heavier. It took everything on you to don't look at his crotch to find out if your words had a reaction on that part of his body as well.

"You need rest, you're confused. I'll bring something to eat later" he was going to leave the room but you stood in front of the door, the same way he did before to stop you from leaving. Once in front of him, you got the chance to see it, the lust you knew was hidden somewhere inside him; arousal flooded in your belly and you felt the lacy material of your panties getting soaked by it.

"I promise I'll leave if you tell me you don't want to but I would really like to take that shower with you" a groan scaped from his pink lips as soon as those words left your mouth, you smiled at him and waited for your answer. "Javi?"

"Take off your dress"

"Why don't you do it?"

"Want me to do it?"

"Yeah, do it" Javi grabbed the silk smooth fabric and ripped it, you whimpered, surprised by the aggressiveness of his movements "You're paying for that"

"I'm pretty sure I will"

And he did, Javier paid for it. After that night he found himself thinking about you, you were printed on his mind; your soft skin, your hair and smell. In his head there were echoes of those pretty sounds you made and on his skin there were now fainted marks of the scratches you left on his back. "Don't call her, Peña. The last thing you want to is being involved with her if there's more about her we haven't find out yet" Steve was obviously right, he shouldn't have kept the card with your phone number you left on his nightstand. He shouldn't have called you, but he did.

It wasn't long before the two of you became a regular occurrence, it was easy for the both of you, transactional sex, no ties. But of course there were ties. Months went by with the same routine; one called the other and later the same day you would meet in his apartment to fuck each others worries away, and it worked perfectly fine, until one day you fell asleep and Javier didn't have the heart to wake you up and asked you to leave, he didn't want to.

"Good morning, bonita" He greeted you as soon as you open your eyes.

"Javi, you didn't wake me up" you complained, covering your face. You hated your morning face, all puffy from sleeping, and your hair. God, your hair was a mess in the morning.

"You look cute when you sleep" Javier removed your hands from your face gently "and even cuter when you wake up" he put kisses all over your face making you all giddy.

"Now you're just laying"

"Stop teasing, Javier"

"I'll show you just how fucking cute you look right now" Javi held you still with both of his big hands and he covered your body with his large frame, his lips went straight to your neck and down your cleavage all the way to your stomach where he left a couple of marks just as a remainder of how much of his you were. His wet hot kisses made you shiver in desesperation for more.

"What a needy little thing, so wet for me" finally he pushed the fabric of your panties aside and touched you the way you needed, his tongue parted your lips delicately a couple of times without touching your clit, it was driving you insane.

"Javi, please" you sobbed when his tongue skipped the most sensitive part of your cunt again. Javier chuckled darkly and he pressed  his sharp nose firmly against your clit as he buried his tongue in you, again and again until your brain melted and you couldn't do more but cry his name out loud. "More, give me more" Javi attended your pleas and moved his attention fully to your already stimulated little bud of nerves and sucked hard enough to make it hurt in the most delicious way possible. Without parting his lips from that special spot, Javier got two of his fingers soaked with your slick before putting them inside you. There was no way you could get wetter, you heard him and the sinful moans and sounds he made everytime your juices soaked his face. So he kept fucking you with his fingers, just the way he knew you liked it, rough and hard, until all the pleasure accumulated inside of you finally exploded and made you reach the state of ecstasy you craved whenever Javier was in the same room you were.

"Are you okay?" He asked when you finally came down from your high.

"If you're going to wake me up like this everytime I promise I'll stay more often from now own" you both laughed and tried your best to ignore the excitement the two of you felt when you said that. It wouldn’t be so bad to have you in his bed every morning.

But then, just when things were taking shape between the two of you, when you were ready to ask Javier for more he got involved in so much shit, he got darker, angrier and distant again. Just like in the beginning, quick and rough fucks and then send you home. "I have an informant coming later, you gotta go" Javier said one night after you were done, you were well aware of what he did with his informants, you were conscious from day one, but for some reason a part of you thought you were the only one he was seeing. And you were right, but Javier didn’t need you to know, it was only a matter of time before his connection with "los panchos" got to him and he couldn't have you in the middle of it when it happened.

Except you didn't know about it, how would you?

You remember crying on your way back home after he said that to you, heartbroken but not knowing why.

Weeks went by before Javier called you again, but this time you didn't anwser. Not until he called a third time.

"I'm busy, Javier"

"I'm leaving Colombia"

"Why?"

"Doesn't matter, they're sending me back to the States. I— I fucked up"

"When?"

"Tomorrow, please I need to see you before I go"

Obviously you agreed, you basically ran to him because you didn't know if that would be the last time you'd see him. As soon as he open the door, you were on eachother, his touches burned your skin in a way they never did before perhaps because only there, when you were panting and crying under him, with his cock buried inside you; you realized you didn't want him to leave, you realized you loved him.

"Javi, I think I lo—"

"Don't say it, please. I won't be able to leave you down here if you say it" So you didn't, you swallowed the words that itched in your mouth and left, not without kissing him for a last time.

[darth-shado]

(Not so good) Memories

-Desert duo Double Life fic crossposted on ao3 (written after 4th session)

Warning: Description of violence (not very graphic but putting a warning just in case)

Tags: Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, No Beta

Can be read platonic or as a ship

Word count: 810

Once again they were outcasts living away from others. As they would say but actually they were hiding from everyone else on the server. Scar was but Grian went to the pool party that didn't go exactly as planned. Tired from running away from a group of people trying to find their hideout he finally laid down to relax. Through the dim lighting that was in their new home there wasn't much to see, at least not properly. Suddenly Grian heard a shrug of a blanket from where Scar was sleeping.

"How was it?" Scar asked which made another man jump because he was sure that he hadn't heard him.

"It was awesome." Grian smiled to himself remembering the zombie army approaching from the depths of a pool. He definitely enjoyed watching all the chaos this caused. "Weren't you supposed to be asleep?" He added after a while to keep the conversation going.

"You know I've just been thinking." Scar shrugged, not giving much away he didn't wanted to talk about it just not now it was too early to jump into conclusions.

"And what were you thinking about?"

"When are you going to tell me."

"Tell what?" Grian asked, confused. There was a lot of stuff that he could tell Scar about.

"You and BigB." Scar turned to the side now facing an unstable dirt wall he couldn't bring himself to look at his soulmate during this conversation. He knew he wasn't the best at hiding his emotions.

"What about it?"

"Listen I'm not stupid I want to know is he a reason you've been avoiding me."

Grian sat up surprised to know that his soulmate found out about his secret soulmate.

There was an uncomfortable silence between the two of them. One of them wanted an answer and another didn't know how to give one.

"Just be honest."

"Yes, partially that was the reason I've been avoiding you."

Scar was expecting that but wasn't ready to hear it. He tried denying this thought as often as he could in his worst fear of it being true.

"I'm sorry I should've been honest from the beginning. It's just that…" He was quiet for a moment to find the correct memory that was stuck in his head. "It's just that I don't want to repeat what has happened in the desert."

"What do you mean?" Scar asked

"Remember the Monopoly Mountain?"

"Mhm"

"Well I didn't wanted it to go like that. Sure I had fun with you but most of us didn't realized what this game was really like. Back then nobody really cared how many lives they had because they didn't known what it was like to die permanently. I was afraid I was gonna lose you but eventually we managed to survive longer than many other players." He paused for a moment remembering the pain that night had caused him. "Then you made me fight for a stupid piece of paper or else you will take my life away from me as you did. You instantly betrayed me and didn't show a sign of guilt like you always wanted to do this."

Grian hugged his knees closer to his chest.

"After that there were only us two. It was like fate that a fight in a ring of cactus and fire would happen between us. I still remember punching you in the face until your jaw would break or giving you the final hit in the ribs. And when you were taking your last breath. I couldn't handle it being alone in the world. Without others, without Pizza, without you." He added the last part more quietly than the other.

Scar stood up with a blanket in his hand. He sat beside another man covering him with a blanket for comfort.

"I wanted to know how it is to be cared for."

"Every time I cared for you. I am really sorry about the betrayal. Honestly, I don't know why I've done that so I won't even defend myself. I admit I have a weird way of showing how much you mean to me."

Grian smiled slightly at Scar's words.

"You seemed to be distant from me and I had hoped that the Panda Sanctuary would help us but it seems that this idea didn't work out."

"It's really nice of you. Maybe after all of this we could try going there."

"You think so? Oh do I have a surprise for you!" Scar enthusiastically stood up and walked up to a big dirt wall. He picked up a shovel that was laying on the floor and revealed another dirt shelter with dozens of Pandas.

"Oh." Grian expressed his surprise. "Maybe it's not so bad to be soul bound with Scar after all." He thought to himself as he walked up to see the animals his soulmate brought.

[nixotinix]

Been a while since I've made a post about dnd! But here I am again, back on my bullshit. And today, I'd like to bring you..

The Unspoken Rules of Dungeons and Dragons

Rule number 1, and the most important. Always watch your fellow PCs' backs. I don't care how much your character doesn't like their character and I don't care how deep into a shit hole you are. Better to heal them somehow than leave it to chance with death saves. If there's anything you can do to prevent your teammate from dying, do! It!! My fighter took a fireball to the face to keep the sorcerer (who'd failed 2 death saves) and the bard (whom the fighter doesn't like) from taking more damage, and our ranger managed to get them back on their feet. Nobody wants to roll up a new character because you wanted to be cool in combat.

Rule 2, this one has been talked about to death and back. Don't. Split. The. Party. Especially not in a dungeon or combat. One, it's a surefire way to get everybody killed. God forbid you or anyone else in your group doesn't know healing spells because the cleric took a different path. Two, it can cause some players to feel left out. Someone I play with left a campaign because the DM ran 3 hours of dnd in which they were the only PC not included. Splitting the party never leads to good things happening. It's fine to split the player characters from NPCs, but don't separate the PCs.

Rule 3. Don't metagame. If you don't know what metagaming is, the best way I can describe it is using out of game knowledge to affect things that happen in game. For example, if you know you're fighting a certain enemy later, and you look up its stats and see it's resistant to fire damage. So your spellcaster doesn't cast fireball. Or, an easier example, looking up a creature's armor class so you automatically know what hits and what doesn't. This can spoil the fun for everyone at the table, including you. So don't do it.

Rule 4. This one's important. It's ok for your characters, or even players, to argue. If your cleric thinks what the rogue and bard are doing is a dumb fucking idea, it's ok for your cleric to voice that. My fighter and the bard at my table argue all the fucking time, to the point where an NPC and our sorcerer have compared them to a married couple. But it is important to separate the game from real life. Yes, the fighter and bard argue often. But we don't hate each other in real life. We've had our issues with each other, but I'm not gonna call him a stupid fucking bitch.

Rule 5. If you don't say it, it doesn't happen. If the DM isn't present, it doesn't happen. For an example, my DM pulled the sorcerer into a different voice chat and told me and the other 2 party members to talk about what the course of action was. And we did talk about it. In character. Big mistake. When DM got back 20 minutes later, he immediately retconned our conversation and told us to redo it with him there. In hindsight, it's funny as fuck. But in the moment, it was kinda dumb.

Rule 6, this one added in post. It's common to have quieter players at the table, whether they themselves are quiet or it's their character. Try your best to help them feel included. And if it's someone at the table who's making them go quiet, address it. For example, my group recently had to kick a player. I'd only played 2 sessions without this person, and the other 3 people in the group agreed that I did better without them. So we kicked them from our party and I'm doing better now. But while they were still there, our ranger often had to pitch into conversations like "*insert fighter name*, what do you think?" Or things of the like. I didn't talk because I never got the chance. If you see something like this going on, or notice that any other player is beginning to feel upset, bring it up to at least the Dungeon Master. D&D is about fun, and nobody should be spoiling the fun for someone else.

Now for some more rapid fire tips.

If a character's accent or manner of dialect changes, no it didn't.

Saying "what's the worst that can happen" is the most surefire way to assure that the worst will happen.

Have fun! Start bar fights. Trick the red dragon with a deck of illusions. Be an idiot. Dnd is about fun.

Don't betray the party.

Don't edit/write on someone else's character sheet.

Don't mock other players.

ALL players should have their chance to shine. This goes just as well for the players and the dungeon master.

If you do something shitty because "it's just what my character would do", don't be surprised when your character gets beaten to death and thrown down a well.

Don't start genuine PvP. Sparring and fighting is ok, but PCs trying to kill each other won't go over well.

Stay off your phone at the table.

If the DM says no, the answer is no.

A tip for the DMs: your goal is to make a fun world for the characters to interact with. Your goal is not to make a world that the characters just kinda. Inhabit.

Don't let the rogue get you into a situation the fighter can't get you out of.

Everything has consequences. Yes, even that.

If it can't be solved by violence, you aren't using enough violence.

If all else fails, scatter.

Don't use D&D as a revenge fantasy against a player.

And that's all! I hope this was insightful and at least entertaining to read. I've got plenty of D&D stories and advice to share, so expect me to talk more. Til next time!